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bluebeary-jay · 10 months

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Midnight kisses

Joel Miller x f!Reader

Summary: Jackson celebrates the New Year’s Eve, and you're thinking about finally confessing to your crush how much you like him. but Joel Miller, the object of your affections, might have other plans in mind. (based on this adorable request!!)

Tags: FLUFF my beloved 🥰, Joel is very flirty in this one, lots of crushinggg, just old sweet mutual pining (also they're both lovesick idiots)

Warnings: mentions of alcohol and being drunk, jealousy, age difference

Word count: 5.4K

A/N: i had a lot of fun with this one 🥰 thank you so much once again for the request, dear, i hope you'll like what i came up with. (btw this was supposed to be a short fic but it seems i'm unable to write one 😔) still i hope yall will like it and as always, happy reading!! 💕

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞

The party was in a full swing.

You didn’t expect anything else from the Jackson community. Ever since you arrived here, you were astounded by the effort that the people living in this small town were making to create a life as normal and joyous as possible – for their children and themselves. And today, on New Year’s Eve, they outdid themselves. There was food, music and drinks – almost as if the apocalypse outside those walls never happened.

You were sitting by one of the tables, sipping on your beverage while you waited for your friend, Angie, to arrive. Dancing alone didn’t sound like an appealing idea, so while you waited for her, you opted for some people-watching – though if you were honest with yourself, it was more like ‘person-watching’.

Your eyes strayed to a figure on the opposite side of the room for like a twentieth time, but you couldn’t help it even if you wanted to. Because there stood a man who still, even after more than a year of knowing him, made the butterflies in your stomach take flight.

Joel Miller.

He looked really good in a clean flannel and fitting jeans, you conceded. His hair was slightly wet, like he washed it just before coming to the party, and combed a little to the back, making the silver strands in his hair and beard shine in the low lights. You found yourself unable to look away or get rid of that stupid grin on your face that lingered when Joel smiled lopsidedly at something his brother said. The muscles in his arm bulged when he lifted his glass to take a sip, and you watched the lines of his neck when his throat bobbed...

“You’re ogling,” murmured a voice next to your ear, and you jumped a little in surprise. Next to you stood Angie, smirking at you.

“Jesus, Angie.” You put your hand on your chest, your heart pounding rapidly. “A ’hello’ would be nice.”

Your friend knew, of course, about your massive crush on Joel Miller, and you thought more than a year of pining on your part would cause her to grow bored of all the jokes and teasing that she threw your way. Apparently, you were wrong.

“Hello,” she said, then sat down on the other chair and leaned closer to you with a wide smile. “You’re ogling. In a room full of people, may I add.”

“I’m not,” you murmured defensibly, but your face grew warm at the realization that she caught you. “How long have you been standing here, anyway?”

“Like half a minute. By the way, you’re also drooling.”

“I’m not!” you repeated, now in an irritated whisper. You knew you weren’t drooling, but still had to refrain yourself from wiping your mouth, not wanting to give her the satisfaction. “Stop making things up.”

“You should just go talk to him.” Angie casually nodded in Joel’s direction. “He didn’t come with a date, sooo…”

“That doesn’t mean anything. Maybe he’s waiting for someone.”

“Uh, duh!” Angie flicked you on the forehead, and you hissed. “For you to make a move. You can… oh, I know!” she bounced in her seat excitedly and clapped her hands. “Ask him to dance with you!”

You almost snorted. “Joel Miller dancing? Sure. He wouldn’t agree even if he did like me.”

“He does like you. Jesus, you flirt with each other all the time.” The smile disappeared from her lips and she rolled her eyes. “Honestly, you’d have to be blind and deaf not to notice. And maybe dead.”

“There’s no flirting, I told you.” You took a sip of your drink, glancing at the object of your affection. “He talks in this way to everyone.”

“He never called me ‘darling’,” Angie retorted. “Or gave me his jacket when we got caught up in the rain.”

You smiled softly at the memory, but that just made you feel even more hopeless, because since that day, you weren’t able to have a normal conversation with the man you liked so much.

“What do I do?” you whined, leaning on the table. “He’s so beautiful. And he for sure doesn’t see me that way.”

“Are you drunk already? You said you didn’t want a repeat from–”

“–from last year, yeah,” you finished for her and sighed. “I’m not drunk, just feeling down. There’s no way I’ll be able to tell him I like him, Angie.”

“Maybe you won’t have to.” Your friend nudged you gently. “You can just inconspicuously take him under one of the mistletoe and go ‘oh, what’s that?’, and then…”

“What mistletoe?” you asked, only now looking up at the ceiling where familiar-looking leaves were tied with a string to the support beams under the ceiling and above the doors. “Why is there mistletoe hanging?” you asked skeptically. “It’s a New Year’s Eve party.”

“I think they haven’t taken it down since last week.” Angie shrugged, but then grinned at you. “Don’t you think it’s a sign, though? So many places to kiss your crush under~...”

“Jesus, keep your voice down,” you groaned, hiding your face in your hands again. “You’re impossible.”

“You’re impossible,” she mocked in a low voice. “I’m trying to help.”

“I know, babe,” you whined, and sighed heavily again. “You know what, maybe I should just forget it. Let’s go have fun, dance, and later throw up from all the food and…”

Suddenly, Angie interrupted you with a high noise in her throat. You gave her a questioning look and she looked at you with a tight-lipped smile and wide eyes.

“He’s coming here.”

“What?!” You automatically turned around before Angie hissed for you not to look, and sure enough, there was Joel Miller, making his way through the crowd with his eyes locked on you. “Oh my god,” you breathed, clutching at your friend’s hand. “He must’ve seen us talking. What do I do?”

“You sit there and look smoking hot, and let him flirt with you,” she answered with confidence you didn’t feel. “And maybe you won’t even need to ask for the kiss, maybe he’ll do it for–” Her eyes darted above your shoulder. “Oh, hey, Miller.”

You gulped and took a deep breath before turning around and– oh, God, he looked even better up close.

Angie kicked you lightly under the table when you didn’t say anything, and you cleared your throat, smiling up at the man you were so crazy about. “Uhm, hi, Jo– Mr Miller.”

“Didn’t I tell you to call me by my name, sugar?” He had kind of a boyish smile on his face that made him look younger and even more handsome, which in turn made your stomach fill with warmth. He sat down next to you, and his eyes scanned you down and back up, slowly, lingering on your legs and curves just for a second longer. “You look lovely.” He then glanced at Angie, sending her a nod. “Both of you.”

“Really?” you beamed, and Angie kicked your ankle again, making you wince. “Uhm, thanks. You clean up nicely yourself.”

A trace of smirk ran across his face, but it was gone before you could make sure it was really there in the first place.

“Are you enjoyin’ the party?” he asked casually, hiding one hand in the front pocket of his jeans. Your eyes followed his movement before you caught yourself.

“Y-yeah, it’s nice. A little too loud for me, but really nice.”

“Maybe you wanna step outside for a bit, then?” Joel nodded in the direction of the deck in the back, and your heart started beating faster.

Did he want to be alone with you? Or was just being polite and preferred to talk somewhere quieter, and you were getting your hopes up unnecessarily? You hoped it was the first, that he genuinely enjoyed chatting with you as much as you did with him – but you never knew with a man like Joel Miller. He was an enigma, sometimes serious and so stoic that you couldn’t for the world figure out what was going on in his head, and other times charming and teasing, making you weak in the knees when he was looking at you with that fiery glint in his eyes…

“Sugar?” Joel asked, lifting his eyebrows with what seemed to be amusement, and you cursed yourself mentally for spacing out.

“Sorry, I… Yes, let’s– sure, let’s go.”

All of you stood up and you looked over your shoulder at Angie with a panicked face, but instead of reassuring you, she sent you a quick, sly grin.

“You two go ahead,” she chirped. “I’m gonna go look for my date.”

“Angie–” you whispered, giving her a look, but the woman just winked and turned around, disappearing into the crowd of dancing people. “Angie!”

Before you could go after her, you felt a big, warm hand on the small of your back, and your entire body tensed. Joel leaned over to your ear, whispering in a low voice.

“Shall we?”

“Yeah,” you squealed, so quietly he probably didn’t hear it over the loud music. “Sure.”

Your legs moved on their own, going where he guided you. The walk to the terrace in the back lasted no longer than fifteen seconds, but it felt like hours had passed. You were very aware of the light pressure of his fingertips on your back, with only one layer of material separating your skin from his, and the nerves of feeling him so close behind you were making you walk stiffly and oddly – though, miraculously, he didn’t seem to notice.

“I don’t like how loud the music is, either,” Joel said after you two exited the main room, and he closed the door. Then he glanced at you again, his eyes flicking to your bare legs just for a second longer. “Are you cold?”

“No,” you answered truthfully. Not only was it nice to feel the cool air after sitting in a stuffy room with a crowd of people for so long, but also you still felt warm from Joel’s closeness. “I’m alright.” Joel nodded absentmindedly, and you squinted. “Did you want to talk about something or…”

“Nah, just wanted to escape for a minute.” He rubbed his beard and shrugged, but there was tightness to his body language. “Not much to do in there except for drinkin’.”

“And dancing,” you cut in.

Joel glanced at you, and the lazy smirk returned onto his features.

“You like to dance, sweet girl?” he asked, and you felt your face growing hot when you heard his tone. Low, drawling and oh, so delicious.

“If the party is good, yes, I guess so.” Then you remembered what Angie suggested earlier, and you took a shaky breath, mustering all the courage you had in you. “We… if you want, we could dance a little later, if they play something nice…?”

But the hot nerves in your chest turned to cold disappointment when Joel started to shake his head with a chuckle. “Nah, darlin’. Sorry, I don’t… I’m no dancer.”

“Noone here is,” you retorted, a bit hurt by how quick his rejection was. “It’s just for fun.”

“I know better ways to have fun than t’make an idiot of myself in front of bunch of people.”

“Like what?”

Of course, you just had to ask.

Joel smirked, as if he was just waiting for it, and took a step forward, forcing you to take one backwards. His brown eyes bored into yours, making you weak in your knees, and you promptly turned your gaze away, not able to withstand the tension in the air. With a cough, you walked up to the wooden railing, pretending that you weren’t feeling sheepish at all.

“For one, talkin’ here with you is fun enough for me.”

You forced yourself to look at Joel when you heard it, just to see if he’s joking, but the man appeared genuine. He leaned against the rails, his hand right next to your shoulder, and you couldn’t get rid of the thought of how easy it’d be for him to cage you in this spot with his strong arms, how he’d make your entire body tremble…

But you weren’t quite sure yet if he was being sweet or just tried to mess with you, so you decided that a teasing response would be the best course of action.

“I don’t know.” You shrugged lightly. “I’d still like to find someone to dance with tonight.”

At that, Joel’s hand gripped the railing tighter and his body stiffened. You had to hide a triumphant smirk on your face, pleased that you managed to throw him off his game – whatever it was that he was playing.

“One of your friends?” In your peripheral vision you saw him lifting his eyebrows with the faintest of scowls. “Or one of those shady guys sittin’ at the bar, staring at pretty girls like you? ’Cause they’re no good for you, darlin’.”

“Oh, really?” you scoffed and lifted your chin, feeling touched that Joel was acting so protective – (and maybe even… jealous?) – about what you said. “You were the one that didn’t want to dance. What do you know about what’s good for me, anyway?”

“Those guys won’t treat you right. They just want a girl to spend the night with, and you deserve better than that.”

He was right, of course, but it didn’t mean you were going to openly give him his due. You made an acknowledging noise, not really sure what to say, but Joel didn’t seem to mind. He continued in a quiet, raspy voice that sent shivers down your spine. “You deserve someone who’d take real good care of you, darlin’. Not some drunk out of their ass idiot.”

“Are you drunk, Mr Miller?” you asked, not looking at him in fear he’ll see how red his words made you, though you could still see his smirk in the corner of your eye.

“No.”

“You act like you are.”

“C’mon, sugar, look at me.” He took your chin between his fingers and your body went rigid. His warm gaze met yours for just a second, and he tilted his head forward a little. “Do I look drunk?”

“A little.” You turned your head away, but he tsked and guided your chin back.

“In the eyes, darlin’.” You gulped at his words, and his dark, brown irises twinkled in the fairy lights dangling from the roof and walls. “And call me Joel, please.”

His chest was almost touching yours, and you felt the wooden railing digging into your lower back, but at that moment you didn’t mind at all. Joel was so close, and your breath hitched in your throat when you got enveloped in his earthy smell, with a tinge of bonfire and… was that cologne? For some reason the discovery that he used cologne for tonight made your heart flutter.

But as much as you loved every second of being so close to him, you remembered that you weren’t alone on the terrace. There was a pair of people talking – well, now kissing, judging by the sound of it – and your eyes darted to the side to see if they were looking at you both. “Come on, there are people here. It’s not…”

The man clicked his tongue in disapproval and moved slightly closer, now practically pinning you against the railing with his body, and you squealed unwillingly when he, once again, made you look at him.

“Eyes on me.”

And God, if it wasn’t the sexiest thing you’ve ever seen or heard. It was unfair how much power his gaze and tone wielded over you.

“Okay,” you managed to whimper, and the corner of his mouth curled upwards, creating that adorable dimple in his cheek.

“And my name, sugar.”

You didn't know why you were complying so easily, but something about the softness and tenderness in his voice made you feel safe. He wouldn’t hurt you, of that you were absolutely sure.

“Okay, Joel.”

His thumb brushed the edge of your bottom lip with the softest of touches, making your legs almost turn to jelly. It made you want to say his name again, though in a much more needy tone.

“That’s a good girl,” Joel murmured with a smirk, never looking away.

Lord, have mercy.

You were so grateful for the wooden rails behind your back, because you were sure you’d collapse any second now if he kept looking at you like that.

“I… Joel…”

“Tell me if you’re uncomfortable,” he murmured without taking his eyes off of you for even a second. Your brain was mush at this point, but even if you could formulate any words, you doubt you’d ask him to step away. So you settled on shaking your head slightly, to which Joel nodded. “Lemme know immediately if it changes, darlin’.”

How could you be so blind? All you could think about was that Angie was right – there was no way Joel Miller wasn’t flirting with you. Maybe he even liked you. Maybe – just maybe – he wanted to kiss you just as much as you wanted to kiss him.

“Didn’t you wanna… get back to the party?”

You didn’t make any move to get away yourself, however, not wanting him to drop the arm with which he was holding your chin. The material of his shirt was bulging over the lines of his biceps, and it felt really nice to stand so close to him.

“I’m in no rush.” Joel’s voice dipped, and your insides tightened. “You?”

“No, but–”

“Here you are, you ol’ fucker!”

Joel took a step back, and you both turned to see his younger brother walking clumsily through the door with a big, drunken grin on his face. You cleared your throat, still breathless and blushed, but both Millers didn’t pay you any mind anymore.

“Tommy.” Joel’s face was like made out of stone, but his eyes were betraying how irritated he was with the interruption.

“You thought you’d manage to get away, ya old dog?” Tommy hooked an arm around his older brother’s shoulders and finally looked at you to send you a wink. “Sorry, sweetheart, gotta borrow ‘im for a second. He has a date to get to.”

It took you a couple of seconds to register that yes, you heard him right. A heavy veil of hurt and disbelief slowly fell down on you, and your eyes started to prickle as you looked from Tommy to Joel.

“A date?”

He had a date. Why then did he talk and act this way with you, making you feel like you ever had a chance with him?

“C’mon, don’t keep a lady waiting,” Tommy said to Joel instead of answering you, and tugged the other man back inside, but Joel didn’t move. “Who knows, maybe you’ll even get lucky tonight!”

That you couldn’t listen to.

Trying to hide how painful his words were to you, you ducked your head and tried to slip past the brothers, desperate to get out of here. A hand – which felt so achingly familiar now – shot out and grabbed your elbow before you could escape. You lifted your tearful eyes only to meet Joel’s sorrowful ones.

“Darlin’, wait. It’s not…”

“No, it’s okay,” you interrupted him, tearing your gaze away. “I wanted to go to the bathroom, anyway.”

Joel looked like he wanted to say something else, but you couldn’t bear being in his and Tommy’s presence any longer. You slipped out of his grasp, quickly coming back inside and navigating your way to the bathrooms.

He had a date for tonight. And still he flirted with you and touched you so lovingly, and… and almost…

Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid! To think you ever had a chance.

You dashed into the bathroom and quickly opened the first free stall you saw, then shut it behind you. There you just slumped against the wall and wrapped your arms around yourself, giving in to the flow of your tears, but trying not to make a sound.

You felt so foolish for letting yourself fall under Joel Miller’s spell, for ignoring that he obviously couldn’t be interested in someone like you.

He probably saw you as a dumb child. No wonder he’d prefer someone else, probably a woman closer to his own age.

But why did he have to be so cruel, to lead you on and hint that…

No, you realized. It was your own damn fault for letting your heart justify his every action towards you.

Almost ten minutes must’ve passed before you got a grip on yourself and decided to go find Angie. You needed to talk to someone, preferably distract yourself from the unpleasant situation you had to experience, and maybe try to salvage the evening somehow. With that in mind you took a couple of breaths, wiped your eyes and then hesitantly exited the bathroom.

You only managed to take a couple of steps, however, before your eyes were drawn to a familiar and beautiful side profile. You wished you didn’t know his face so well, because then you wouldn’t see Joel whispering something to a stunning woman you didn’t know at the far end of the room. She was hanging off his arm, bright eyes and a million-dollars smile directed solely at him. Joel appeared to be looking around, but a few seconds later he put his hand on the small of the woman’s back – just as he did earlier with you – and started walking. Neither of them looked your way before exiting through the front door and leaving the party.

As well as a gaping hole in your heart.

*****

A few minutes later you managed to find Angie. You were a mess at this point, barely able to stop yourself from sobbing. It was truly pathetic.

“I don’t know her name. But I saw them leaving, and she was hanging off his arm and–” you choked on your words and gave a humorless laugh. “God, I’m such an idiot.”

“I’m so sorry, hon.” Angie looked at you sadly. “We can ditch the party if you want. Go to my place and watch some movies,” she suggested gently, but you were already shaking your head.

“No, no. I’m fine, really, I… I think I'll just go home. But you should stay with your girlfriend.” Angie looked like she was about to protest, but you squeezed her hand reassuringly. “I promise I’m okay. I’m just gonna go straight back home and lock myself inside with a bowl of ice-cream. Or go to sleep.”

“I don’t think you should be alone right now.”

“I… I think I need to.” You gave her a weak, sad smile, and stood up. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay? You have fun, I don’t want to ruin your night, too.”

“You’re not ruining anythi–”

“I mean… this. All of this stuff with,” you swallowed heavily, “him.”

Angie still seemed unconvinced, but finally nodded after a while. “Alright. But come and get me if you feel worse.”

“I promise. Love you.”

“Love you, too. Take care of yourself, okay?”

You nodded, then went towards the side exit and out into the snowy night without looking back. You didn’t want to stay here and watch as all those happy couples share sweet kisses at midnight, thus reminding you of your heartbreak.

This time you had your coat on, but it was far too thin for this kind of weather. You wrapped it tighter around yourself and hid your hands in the pockets, starting to make your way home. It was a bit far from the main square, but you needed to get away from the music and laughter of the partygoers as quickly as possible.

Alas, you only managed to walk one street away when out of nowhere, a big hand grabbed your elbow, stopping you in your tracks. “Wait.”

You turned around and took a step backwards at the same time, freeing your arm with a strong tug. The words full of anger were ready to spill out of your mouth, but that was until you saw who stood in front of you with a painful expression.

The last person you expected to see here.

“Joel?” You whispered surprisedly and looked around, but there was no one else nearby. Not that strange woman you saw him with, at least. “What are you doing here?”

“I was lookin’ for you,” he rasped between gasps, like he ran all the way here. “You weren’t at the party.”

“Why were you… What are you doing here?” you repeated more coldly, the sight of him only making your fresh heartache so much more noticeable. “I thought you left.”

“M’so sorry.” Joel’s beautiful dark eyes were full of sadness and weariness. “I would have never left you if I could help it, darlin’.”

He took half a step forward and lifted his hand slightly to graze yours with his icy-cold fingertips. You weren’t wearing any gloves either, so his touch sent a jolt up your arm. You looked down at it, but gently moved your hand away. “I don’t understand. Didn’t you have a… date?”

“No.” He sighed and rubbed his eyes, shaking his head. You avoided his eyes and instead watched as snowflakes landed and melted in his hair. “No, it was Tommy… You saw how drunk he was, and he wanted to set me up, insisted on talking to that girl, but I…”

“You should get back to her, then,” you said dryly, really not having strength to even hide how hurtful his mere presence was. You went past him, hiding your neck in your coat. “I don’t want to keep you from–”

“Darlin’, wait.” Joel grabbed your arm again, though still gently and without any force. “Listen, she was nice, but I told her that I can’t get involved in anythin’, because I…” He faltered slightly when you looked him in the eyes, for the first time since your talk on the terrace. “There is… it’s– fuck.” He shut his eyes and took a deep breath, as if gathering courage. “There is someone else,” he finally spoke, his voice almost trembling, and looked at you again, “that I’m madly in love with. And it’s you.”

Through the open door to the party someone shouted what sounded like the time, but it was all happening in the background of your mind. All you could focus on was Joel, standing so close to you and looking almost scared as he waited for your reaction.

Cold crept up your limbs and up to your cheeks while you tried to digest what the hell you just heard, but as if held by the invisible force of his gaze, you couldn’t move an inch.

“...what?”

“I… really, really like you,” Joel whispered, his dark and sad eyes drilling into your unbelieving ones. “I went to this party just to see you, darlin’. And I’d never chose to spend the evenin’ with anyone else but you. I’m so sorry I left you like that and…”

He then gulped and very slowly lifted his hand to your face, not fully cupping your cheek but hovering just above it. He searched your eyes, but when you didn’t back away, he touched your skin carefully, and an involuntary sigh escaped you as your eyes fluttered closed.

You never thought one could be touched with such care and fondness. No one has ever treated you like that before, like you were made of the most precious glass.

“You can tell me to fuck off,” Joel whispered, and you opened your eyes to find his face a little closer than before. “I just thought that maybe… if you would maybe, too…”

He was getting flustered again, and it was the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen. It must’ve been close to midnight now, because you noticed that the music stopped and the racket inside the building was at its peak, though it was hard to distinguish the words people were shouting when your heartbeat was almost deafening in your ears.

“But I saw you leaving with that woman.” You had to make sure you were on the same page with him before you did something idiotic. Again. “You aren’t…?”

“No,” Joel breathed a quiet chuckle and tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear, while his eyes danced across your face. “It’s only ever been you, darlin’.”

Then he must’ve heard something – his head turned to the side to look at where the party was still going on, before his eyes returned to you, and you felt his thumb swiping your cheek in an oh, so tender manner.

“May I?” he asked in a whisper, so close that his breath skimmed your parted lips. You hoped he was asking about what you thought, but this time wasn’t brave enough to ask and clarify.

So you just nodded.

And Joel leaned in, without any hurry, and kissed you.

It was fitting, you supposed, that only a couple of seconds later the clock chimed midnight, and shrieks of laughter and cheers filled the air while the people still present at the party celebrated loudly. You couldn’t care less, however, because in that moment, your entire world was Joel. His – still cold – hand caressed your scorching cheek, and the other found its place on your hip. The smell of him, the warmth with which his body radiated, and the feeling of his lips, rougher in touch than you’ve imagined, but still soft in movement – all of it together was almost overwhelming.

You parted after a while with blissful sighs, though didn’t move away – Joel still held you close, his forehead pressed to yours, and eyes shut tightly, as if he was in pain. He took a trembling breath when you touched his jaw with your icy fingers.

“Tell me to stop,” he pleaded in a murmur, taking you aback. “Sugar, if you don’t… Please, tell me to stop.”

You shook your head and held onto him tighter before he even finished.

“Please, don’t stop.”

Your lips clashed again, tongues meeting and dancing together, and it was the closest you’ve ever felt to any type of heaven in this cruel, forsaken world. Joel pulled you flush against him and kissed you again, more forcefully this time, tangling his fingers in your hair. You let out an involuntary moan, but his mouth swallowed the sound immediately, not giving you a split second of respite.

“I wanted to do it a year ago,” Joel muttered between the kisses, before he took your face in his hands to look you in the eyes properly. He smiled, that same adorable and boyish smile, when he saw how breathless and flushed you were. “Wanted to kiss you so much, sugar, but,” he obviously fought back a laugh at this point, his eyes crinkling, “you got wasted and puked your guts out just before midnight.”

“Oh my god.” You didn’t know he saw it, particularly the moment when all the alcohol you consumed a year ago refused to stay in your stomach. “I wasn’t– I don’t usually… I got drunk ‘cause I saw Sheryll kissing you on the cheek,” you admitted with embarrassment, feeling your skin growing even hotter. “I thought you and her were together at that point…”

“But why did you get drunk because of it, sweet girl?” Joel mused, brushing his nose against yours and obviously teasing you. You snorted and shook your head.

“You know why.”

“I want to hear it from you.”

You playfully pushed him away lightly, but he tightened his grip around you, not letting you step away.

“You’re an asshole sometimes,” you whispered, making Joel chuckle. “Fine. I really wanted to kiss you, too. Happy?”

He smiled and kissed you again, softly and passionately this time, cradling your cheek in his palm.

“Very,” he whispered against your lips and dragged his nose up to plant a kiss on your forehead. “Very much, baby.”

Your heart fluttered with joy at his affectionate tone. Joel pulled away, his hands leaving your body to cover your own, situated on his jaw and arm.

“Now, what do you say we head back inside?” he asked with a disarming smile, brushing your knuckles with his thumbs. “And maybe you’ll let me ask you for a dance?”

You didn’t give an answer, but the joyous kiss you pressed to his lips – which, with your enthusiasm, almost made both of you topple over into the snow – spoke for itself.

#joel miller x reader #pedro pascal #joel miller #pedro pascal x reader #the last of us #joel miller x you #joel miller x y/n #the last of us fanfiction #joel tlou #joel miller fluff

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banggyu0308 · 10 months

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Berry Sorbet // Huening Kai

huening kai x fem!reader

summary: in which you share one of the five senses with your soulmate, and the taste of your lipgloss is on Kai's tongue all week.

genre: soulmate au, uni au, slight reincarnation au, non idol au, fluff, humor, skippable smut (will be marked by blue borders) (for your convenience, it is still sfw a little bit after the first border, just in case you don't see it. it is also slightly sfw before the last border, in case you don't scroll far enough)

warnings: cursing, both their friend groups are VERY annoying, some suggestive dialogue from said friends in friend groups (and a reference to taehyun being a tutor and occasionally making out w the people he tutors), some texting scenes, alcohol consumption, both kai and reader are idiots when it comes to their feelings, both kai and reader are very touchy-feely, mentions of kiss-like birthmarks, slight nudity (NOT IN A SEXUAL WAY AT ALL. you'll see when you get to it...)

word count: 9k

🎶 - LIP GLOSS (the boyz) + i don't understand but i luv u (seventeen) + watermelon sugar (harry styles)

an- happy twenty-first birthday hyuka ❤️ + if your name is Madelyne and you're a Tyun bias, i'm telepathic and this is for you

Kai's late. Or- almost. Sliding into his seat at the last minute was not what he had planned to do today, but it's what's ended up happening. His professor shoots him a sharp look over the other students heads, but turns back to the class without a word at his tardiness.

He puts his face in his hands and lets out a slow exhale, opening his notes to focus on the lecture instead of the thoughts running inside his head. His pencil scratches against the paper, his eraser squeaks slightly when he moves to get rid of a word, and the thoughts pause momentarily.

The girl seated in front of him raises her hand with what both Kai and the professor assume is a question, but is actually her CORRECTING what the professor has just told them. Kai expects the professor to get a little more than frustrated at being told she's wrong, but instead she's calm addressing the student. "Thank you for your contribution, Yn. I was unaware that this was a recent development of this topic, and I will further research and fact check it at a later time."

Yn looks up at the teacher with a smile. "I could email you my sources, if you want."

To Kai's surprise, his professor returns the smile, says, "Thank you very much," and continues on with her lesson.

He tries to focus again on the professor's words but a slight fruity taste settles on his tongue. That's strange- he didn't have any fruit today that he can think of.

Lunch break rolls around and as he takes a bite of his store-bought sandwich, he finds that instead of the sandwich's taste, it's the same fruity flavor that takes over his tastebuds.

It's subtle, but it's there, and it's a little annoying. Kai forces himself to finish half of his sandwich with a groan of annoyance, laying with his head in the crook of his arm once he's done.

He sits up to look around after a moment. The cafeteria is loud, but he can pick out some of the voices closest to him. There's Beomgyu, of course he's the loudest. Yeonjun's sitting next to him- they're arguing about something. Kai smiles slightly and shifts his gaze. They'll resolve whatever they're fighting about later. It's almost always something stupid.

Soobin meets Kai's gaze when it shifts to him instead, and without a word, stands and joins him at his table.

"Why are you sitting all alone?" He jokes with a soft smile. Even the small twitch of his lips sets off his dimple, and the expression makes Kai smile back.

"Just wasn't feeling it today. Here, try this... does it taste normal to you?"

Kai holds out the other half of the sandwich and Soobin takes a bite, food shifting to his cheek as he chews. He hands it back with a shrug. "Tastes normal to me."

"Not... fruity or anything?" Kai raises a confused eyebrow and Soobin shakes his head.

"Nope."

Kai stands and tosses the sandwich in the trash, lips pursed in frustration, and sits back down to pull out his phone. The situation is weird enough that he decides to google it, because his friend Soojin had been complaining about a weird taste in her mouth just weeks ago.

The first few articles are about food poisoning, of course, but the ones a little further down are almost all on the same topic, and suddenly it clicks in his brain.

Of course. Didn't Soojin tell him just last week that she'd found her soulmate, a girl in their class named Aurora?

You get linked to your soulmate at random times. Kai knows this. He just hadn't expected it to be, well, now? He's only twenty, he's still in college for pete's sake.

And now he has to figure out the next thing.

Who in hell was eating so much fruit???

You sit down with a sigh in the front of your classroom. You're early- punctuality is important.

Obviously, the boy sitting behind you doesn't know that. He's seated a split second before the bell rings and you resist a disapproving look his way. His bleached-blonde hair is grown out slightly, mussed in the back like he just rolled out of bed. Jeez, your class isn't even that early...

He's quiet all throughout class, something you notice, although it's not a surprise. If class participation were a grade, he'd fail. You're pretty sure you've only heard him talk once.

The sweet taste of your lipgloss is still slightly unfamiliar when you swipe your tongue over your lips, and you apply another coat with one slick movement. The girl next to you looks at you with a question in her eyes, and you show her the lip gloss tube momentarily before turning back to the lecture.

The class ends with only one incident: a case of misinformation, which you swiftly correct. Lunch is next, and your lipgloss smears pink on your napkin when you wipe it off. Your mouth still tastes like it slightly when you bite into your apple, but it's fine.

You've packed yourself a normal lunch and when you finish, you check the time. Aw shit.

You almost run to your next class, which luckily goes by like a flash; it's one of your easiest ones.

Your next class is one you've just started and you're unfamiliar with. Both the classmates and the actual concept itself are new to you, and you look up from your notes to find the teacher's paired you with the boy from earlier. Instead of your look of annoyance from before, you send a small smile his way.

It's received and returned, and he finds his seat next to you. "I'm Kai," he says, a slight nervous note to his voice. You smile again.

"I'm Yn, nice to finally meet you for real, Kai."

You've been aware of him, of course. One of your best friend's is practically obsessed with one of HIS friends, Taehyun, which means you've spent many a lunch break observing the group, all for Madelyne's sake.

When Kai leans over you slightly to look at your notes, you catch a slight scent of something that almost smells like baby powder. You smile to yourself- it reminds you of your family.

It is strange, though, the way the smell of him lingers even after your numbers are exchanged, after the class ends, after you go back to your room for the day...

And still there when a text from him lights up your phone.

huening project partner 📖🖊️ i forgot to ask this but, could you send me a copy of your notes? i'm not good at remembering things without looking at them

You laugh slightly at this, take a few photos of each one of your sheets of notes, and send it to him.

you is that all you need?

huening project partner 📖🖊️ yes, thank you 🙏 well... no.

you what else? the punctuation is scaring me

huening project partner 📖🖊️ NO DON'T BE SCARED OF MY PUNCTUATION 😭 I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I PUT IT IN THE FIRST PLACE 😭

you NO NO ITS OKAY I WAS MAKING A JOKE BECAUSE NONE OF MY FRIEND EVER USE PERIODS AT THE END OF OUR SENTENCES AHSBHWBS 😭

huening project partner 📖🖊️ wait really???????? taehyun usually does, the smarty-pants he is (can't be normal like the rest of us...) but it makes him seem like a really dry texter 😭

you exactly why we DON'T most of my friends are already dry asf when it comes to texting punctuation makes it worse

huening project partner 📖🖊️ i'm sure your friends cannot be worse than taehyun-

you BIANCA IS SO BAD AT IT ISTG like over here you and i are having a conversation and i don't just think you're sitting on the other end like an npc

huening project partner 📖🖊️ ... you're welcome?

you 😭😭😭 IT DID FEEL LIKE IM THANKING YOU FOR NOT BEING BORING 😭 THANK YOU FOR NOT BEING BORING!!!!! AND NOT BEING AN NPC!!!!

huening project partner 📖🖊️ YOU'RE WELCOME!!!! and thank YOU!!!!

you oh my goodness i cannot breathe right nowwww 😭 madelyne is looking at me like i'm CRAZY

huening project partner 📖🖊️ ...is she wrong though....

you HEY!!! YOU'RE NEW!!! YOU DON'T GET TO DISS ME LIKE THAT JUST YET but tbh takes one to know one 🤭

huening project partner 📖🖊️ exactly, you idiot/lh sorry that was mean 😊 goodnight now, i don't even remember why i was texting you in the first place, no way i'm doing homework at 1am 😭

you well, me neither, even though i am right now goodnight kai :) i think i'm going to enjoy being partners with you

You're cleaning in a rush, throwing things into bins, under your bed, under MADELYNE'S bed, but to be honest, who cares right now??? You'd known Kai'd be over today but it didn't hit you until this morning, THIRTY MINUTES BEFORE HE SHOWS UP, and now, rightfully so, you're in a panic.

You're shoving the last thing into your drawer right as there's a knock at the door. "Coming!!"

You take a moment to dab at your sweaty face and smooth your hair in the slightest. You reach a hand and turn the doorknob, swallowing the little anxiety crawling its way up your throat. "Hello hello!!" You grin at him, taking him by the shoulder and leading him in. "Welcome to my humble abode."

In any other circumstance, you'd be joking. But your room was quite literally the definition of 'humble', even after you cleaned up slightly. You'd done the best you could when you first moved in, adding dainty, pastel curtains that reminded you of fairies, other little details to your bed and side table, but it was hard to cover up the fact of how old this room really was.

Kai cracks a small smile and bends to take his laptop from his bag. You do the same. He joins you on the edge of your bed a moment later and it's all but silent, the only sound the clicking of your keyboards. Not that you mind!! You know the best way to get things done is in silence, for you at least.

He breaks it a moment later, leaning slightly to point at your screen. "I was thinking we could put this over here?"

His chin is practically on your shoulder and you nod slightly, dragging the text box to the other side of the screen. You look up to a loud bang, jumping slightly, which knocks your face into Kai's just as Madelyne walks in.

"OH-!" Her face is a devious grin when she looks at you two. "What do we have here~?"

You quickly shove yourself away from Kai, face hot. "This-" You gesture pointedly at him. "Is my partner on a project for school. Kai, Madelyne. Madelyne, Kai."

"Hey," Kai says. Other than a slightly embarrassed smile on his face, he doesn't look uncomfortable otherwise, and you let out a small breath of relief. The last thing you needed right now was your partner uncomfortable with you.

You stand and push Madelyne away, not leaving room for silence, and say, "Alright, goodbye now!"

Once she leaves again with a backwards glance to you and a "It's my room too," you flop back onto the bed.

"I'm sorry she's like that," you apologize, face buried in one of your pillows.

"No, it's alright, I really don't mind. My friends are the same way. Taehyun's a tutor, for crying out loud, we all know what he gets up to."

A wry grin is sent your direction when you lift your head again, and you have a split second thought of 'I should sign Madelyne up for Taehyun to tutor.' She'd love you forever if you did.

"Thank god," you smile back, settling back in front of your computer, a little closer to Kai this time.

Introduction to your best friend: check.

Maybe this whole project thing won't be so bad.

Kai is surprised when you sit next to him during your Monday class, and even more surprised when, halfway through your lesson, you lean over to invite him back to your room soon.

He barely processes the words coming from your mouth. He's too focused on the fact that now that you're this close, he can smell your lipgloss, and it's all too familiar to him. It almost exactly matches what he's been tasting on his tongue for almost two weeks.

When he gets out of class, his mind is still running with thoughts tripping over themselves. WHY would he be tasting your lip gloss? When he didn't even know you? And why, the same day he does, does he get partnered with you for your project?

He plops onto his bed with a small sigh. His phone is alight with multiple messages from Yeonjun, asking where he was.

3:57PM

yeonjun 🙄/j KAIIIIIII DID YOU FORGET TO MEET US :((

kai well... yes. sorry?

yeonjun 🙄/j You SHOULD be sorry, you meanie >:( WHAT is so important that you would forget????

kai what does it mean when you can taste a girls lip gloss but you've never kissed her or another girl with the same lipgloss?

yeonjun 🙄/j you're not making any sense i don't think it can be the same lipgloss then, or even lipgloss, if you've never kissed or anything

kai yeah... i guess that makes sense sorry for bothering you XD

yeonjun 🙄/j no no it's alright!! who's the girl?

kai you know yn..? super smart, takes a few classes with me, has the friend who's infatuated with taehyun?

yeonjun 🙄/j OH HERRRRR OMG yes i know her!! do you like her?

kai i- NO?????? I WAS JUST ASKING BECAUSE

yeonjun 🙄/j because...?

kai nothing

yeonjun 🙄/j you totally like her.

kai i don't

yeonjun 🙄/j mhmmmm anyways, are you gonna meet us or not?

kai not i've got work to do

yeonjun 🙄/j fine.

4:11PM

yeonjun 🙄/j and one more question... do you have her number?

kai yes...?

yeonjun 🙄/j can i have it?

kai why?? do YOU like her?

yeonjun 🙄/j no i don't can i have it?

kai fine...

kai shared a contact: yn

4:23PM

kai YEONJUN NOT FUCKING COOL YEONJUN AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I HATE YOU I HATE YOU SO MUCH WHY WOULD YOU AJHBVSHJABSJWBSUWBDSUW

yeonjun 🙄/j thought you didn't like her 🤭

You have no idea what just happened.

First of all, WHO added you to this group thread? Why are you here??

And second of all, Kai was one hundred percent right. Why does Taehyun text like that????

4:20PM

unknown added yn

unknown HIIIII

you who. the FUCK. are you?????

unknown WOAH CALM DOWN CALM DOWN LANGUAGE >:((

unknown beomgyu, you know you're just the same. 🙄

you okay, so i know ONE person here, i guess... WHO ADDED ME????

unknown me!! the one who said hi first..?

beomgyu 🐻 that's yeonjun

you see, that's all i needed FUCKING NAMES

jjun 🙄 IM SORRY ALRIGHT???? I DIDNT THINK ABT NAMES????

unknown you never think.

you that is totally, 100% taehyun

unknown ... correct. and scary.

taehyun 😏 i feel nervous now.

you dont be kai told me abt y'all so :D

huening project partner 📖🖊️ i did huh?

you oh HIIIII is soobin here too then?

unknown that's me <3 hi yn

you hi soob!! now, WHY am i here? and why does yeonjun have my number?

huening project partner 📖🖊️ that's my fault jjun asked ;-;

you and OFC you had to give in, because it's yeonjun, right? 🙄

huening project partner 📖🖊️ he's hard to say no to i didn't think he'd do this!!

you it's fine it's fine so. how is everyone?

soob soob ❤️ im good!

taehyun 😏 eh. could be better.

jjun 🙄 he's being dramatic, he's fine so am i

beomgyu 🐻 im good too!!!

huening project partner 📖🖊️ ... bad :D

you whats wrong hyuka? :((

huening project partner 📖🖊️ yeonjun :D

you ah, i see we should just get rid of him, shouldn't we?

jjun 🙄 you can't just get rid of me??? i MADE the gc therefore, by law, i CANNOT be removed!!

you i'm sure you thought this through beforehand ;-;

soob soob ❤️ he totally did

jjun 🙄 i did NOT so anyways :D yn, how is your project w kai going? 😏😏

huening project partner 📖🖊️ the emojis are SO unnecessary

jjun 🙄 that's why i used them, kai

beomgyu 🐻 he is nothing but unnecessary

you 🤭 BEOMGYU WE SHOULD HANG OUT

beomgyu 🐻 i've always thought you match my energy :D let's do it :D ... if huening doesn't steal you away...

you he wouldn't dare >:(( would you, kai?

huening project partner 📖🖊️ ...no?

taehyun 😏 LMAO.

soob soob ❤️ kai needs to be reminded he doesn't own yn

huening project partner 📖🖊️ I do NOT?????

jjun 🙄 mhm sureeee 🙄

you i feel like *I* should be the one who's scared here...

huening project partner 📖🖊️ NO YOU'RE FINE

beomgyu 🐻 we're completely normal :D

you that was the last straw the grinning emoji says otherwise GOODBYE-

'hey, it's kai... was wondering if we could spend some study time in the library together sometime soon? just to do a little extra research, plus it's quiet and that way neither of us need to worry about hosting and cleaning and stuff. call me or text me when you get this. bye.'

You put your phone facedown on the table after listening to the voicemail. It's not that you don't WANT to study with him, in fact you probably NEED to, it's just that you hadn't planned for it. Today or any day. But honestly, today would probably work best... so, you text him back.

you i could do today!! project's due in a week anyways, so it's probably a good time to finalize some stuff and practice presenting.

huening project partner 📖🖊️ okay!! I'll bring my stuff in 15?

you sounds good!! see you then

You grab your books and your computer, shove them in your backpack, and make your way to the library. It seems as if Kai's borrowed your punctuality today- he's there when you show up.

That's new, but he doesn't bring it up to you, only waving you over to his table. "Alright, so, we should divvy up the actual presentation bit, and then I can double check the slides I'm working on, and then you can do the ones you are?"

You smile and nod, logging into your computer and opening the shared Powerpoint.

The two of you are working peacefully in silence, side by side at your desk, until you hear whispered giggling. Now, usually you'd roll your eyes at the disruption and ignore it, but the giggles sound too familiar.

Except... it wouldn't make sense for that to be the laughter you hear. There's more than one voice, and it sounds a lot like Beomgyu, Yeonjun... and Bianca and Madelyne??

Two more voices who, until then, had been unheard, grow louder to shush the others, and you place who they belong to when you see two sets of dark eyes and dark hair peeking from behind a bookshelf.

Funny that Soobin and Taehyun are trying to be the ones to keep the others quiet, but are also the ones that get them seen.

You duck your head and try to ignore them. You don't alert Kai to exactly what his friends are up to, or the fact that your friends are with them too... how the heck did that even HAPPEN??? You bet Madelyne's feeling VERY happy right now, you can tell everyone's pushed up against everyone behind that bookshelf.

One whisper cuts through the others, louder than the rest. "Guys, they look kinda cute together..."

Your head jolts up at the sound and Kai looks over at you in concern, but you shake your head. "Nothing, thought I heard something..."

When he turns back to his computer, you side-eye him, scanning him in a way you hope is subtle. Your gaze catches on a scattering of moles across his neck, a few on his cheeks too, but the ones on his neck catch your eyes the most. It almost seems like there are lip-stick marks on them, and you feel something that almost feels like jealousy in the pit of your stomach. Someone's obviously gotten to him recently and done exactly what had flicked through your brain a second ago.

But then again... When you lean closer, pretending to itch your leg, you notice that said marks are faint and almost match his skin tone, which throws you off. There are a few just like that smattered across your own body too, and they've been there since as long as you can remember.

Now you're curious.

"Kai?" You ask, facing your computer and whispering out of the corner of your mouth.

"Mm?"

"Are those birthmarks? Around the moles on your neck?"

He looks at you quickly, a faint blush on his cheeks. "They are, actually... most people assume they're like, hickies or something? They're not, though. So."

You smile at him, tugging the collar of your shirt down so he can see the few on your own neck. "I have some other places too. My mom says they're where your soulmate kissed you most in your past life, which makes me a little suspicious of my soulmate's preferences." Your smile turns a little wry, and then you look away.

"Mine too, actually," he smiles to himself. "A lot on my moles, which are a lot of places, so..."

Your eyes widen at both the whisper of "they look like they're gonna kiss..." coming from the bookshelves and the thought running through your head of wanting to press your own lips to his moles, regardless of their placements. His soulmate was one relatable bastard.

You stand quickly, shoving your things in your bag, and murmur a small apology of your quick departure to Kai. No doubt he'll think he'd driven you off with his confession, but that works for you. No need to tell him the real reason.

You hear multiple groans of annoyance when you pass the bookshelf your friends are behind, and you slam your hand against it for a quick second, sending a glare to whoever's eyes you meet on the other side.

You'll be having words with them all later.

WHY couldn't they let you have your words with them????

Madelyne inviting Bianca to your dorm the next day was practically the perfect opportunity to chew them both out. You'd already gotten mad at the others on the group chat (you're sure Yeonjun regrets adding you).

But!! Before you can even open your mouth to say something, they're both pulling open your drawers and closet doors, throwing clothes at you. You're stunned into silence until a sock flies into your mouth, which you spit out, and yell, "WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?????"

They both pause and look at you with confused expressions. "Did you not get our texts? We've sent, like, thirty in the past 10 minutes," Bianca says. Her hands are full with a few of your skirts that you've shoved in the back of your closet, and you snatch them from her.

"OBVIOUSLY not? What did you say????"

When neither respond, gesturing to your phone, you open it and read through. "I am NOT going to a party. No way. I've got things to do!"

Madelyne rolls her eyes. "Yn. This is your second year in college and you haven't been to a single party."

"I have!!" you protest, moving to shove your clothes back in the drawers.

"Katie Milewicz's birthday party does not count."

"Whether it counts or not, I'm NOT going to this one!"

"What if we told you all the guys will be there and you can bash them about the library incident?" Bianca's smooth voice chimes in with Madelyne's, and it makes you look up momentarily.

"Fine. It'll be fun to do it in person." You sigh in defeat, then grab one of your pairs of jeans and a T-shirt. "But I am NOT dressing up!!"

"There we go..." They both grin at you and wait outside the bathroom as you change and do your hair. Taking your hands and dragging you to the dorm where said party is being held, you press your lips closed in frustration.

When you open the door, it feels like a wall has hit you. A wall that is far too loud, smells like alcohol, and feels like a heat wave.

"On second thought... I might just stay out here." You turn from the door, a little overwhelmed, but Madelyne tugs you back to it.

"I promise it's not as bad when you get inside, okay? And we can find you a corner you can hang out in, with a drink or without."

You take a deep breath, making sure to let it out as a frustrated sigh, but you allow them to bring you inside.

Almost every face is unfamiliar to you, and you suddenly understand the meaning of the phrase 'this is not my crowd'. Remembering Bianca's words from earlier, you peer around for Kai and his friends, but the room is so filled, you have no hopes of spotting them.

You grab a coke and retreat to a corner, so close to it that your hip is pressed right where the two walls meet. Even in your little solitary area, you're bumped up against every now and then.

You hate it, you hate this.

Someone's hand finds your waist momentarily and that's it, you're out of here. You have to finish your project anyways, both you and Kai are counting on you for this.

Turning from the wall to find the doorway, you're met with the first familiar face you've seen all night, the person said face belongs to moving some dude away from you.

"Hey," Kai says, slightly breathless, and he leans against the wall next to you. Your heartbeat spikes at his proximity, and you swallow slightly, moving backwards away from him just the slightest.

He looks just as out of place as you, but the one thing that catches your eye is how someone's angled their colored phone light just right so that it somehow catches Kai's hair, making it look like a blue halo. You giggle slightly at it, and you double check your cup to make sure you haven't accidentally given yourself something that's not coke.

A smile crosses Kai's expression and it makes your heart flutter again, moving a little closer to him.

"So." You say in his ear, loud enough that he can hear but no one else can. "How'd you get here?"

"Do I really look that out of place?" He says in your own ear, lips brushing against your skin, and you swear you feel an actual spark. You feel a sudden need to have him closer, but you ignore it, smiling up at him. "One hundred percent. So who dragged you here?"

"Two guesses."

"Hmm... Yeonjun and Taehyun?"

"Close. Yeonjun and Beomgyu."

"Damn. Maybe me and Beomgyu are less similar than I thought."

"Maybe you're more similar to Soobin... it seems like the two of you get along well."

The way he's looking at you makes you feel like you've done something wrong, even though you know you haven't. What IS that?

Whatever it is, it renders you completely tongue tied, and Kai can tell. "Should we get out of here?"

You can only nod, and when he takes your hand to drag you out, you definitely feel something stirring inside you this time.

He stops just outside of the room, close enough that if someone came looking for you two, they'd be able to find you. You both slump against the wall and slide down it, sitting on the floor. Your sides are pressed close, and the writhing under your skin is only growing the longer he's touching you.

"What were you saying?" You ask, and now it's your turn to sound breathless.

"Oh, nothing... Something about you and Soobin getting on?"

"Oh, yeah. We went to middle school together. It's not like we were ever close, but it's like we have one familiar face from our childhood, you know?"

Your hand feels like it's moving of its own accord, playing with Kai's hair when he leans his head on your shoulder. "I get it. Me and my friend Soojin's girlfriend, Aurora, are like that. She was in my eighth grade class."

You nod slightly, your eyes shutting, and your hand slips farther down to his back. You can feel where his waist dips to his hips through his t-shirt and you press your fingers right there gently.

Your mind feels so fuzzy, you swear you feel like you're drunk. You don't know what possesses you to kiss Kai, but you know the moment you do that there's no way you can ever stop. His lips are soft, pressing against yours so perfectly, it's like you were made for each other. You're giggling into the kiss, eyes wide open, and you know that's a weird way to kiss someone, but you don't want to miss a single thing about his expression right now. His hair tickles your forehead and you can feel his breath on your cheek, along with his eyelashes, but it's perfect.

It's absolutely, 100% perfect.

When he breaks the kiss, forehead against yours, you don't allow space to say anything, tugging him back into the dorm and to the bathroom. You have him against the wall, lips against his, against his neck, the bit of collarbone that peeks from the collar of his shirt... there's a primal need deep inside you to have your lips on his and it's insatiable, tugging you back to him for more more more, and the way he's responding you can tell he can feel it too.

Kai lowers his head to press soft kisses against your neck, one after another, and someone pounds their fist against the door after attempting to turn the locked knob.

You only giggle, and a voice follows the knock. "Are you screwing in there?"

Kai lets out a surprised and amused breath at the incorrect assumption. One last kiss to your jawline that does nothing to quell the need of his lips and he's dragging you back out of the bathroom and to his room, and let's just say... there's no need to worry about him not kissing you tonight.

The sun is too bright.

That's your first thought when you wake up with a splitting headache, in a room that is very unfamiliar to you. You feel so horrible that you'd think you'd had at least three drinks last night.

You look around the room to find Kai asleep on the floor in a tangle of blankets. With his tall frame, the sight is almost funny. But it's also your only relief about what the last night consisted of, because waking up in his clothes had put more than a few running thoughts inside your head. At least now you can have a feeling nothing happened.

But looking at Kai and knowing what you did last night, what the both of you did... you have to get out of here. You can't change out of the clothes, but you grab yours and your shoes, and you quietly leave the room, heading back to your dorm.

Madelyne and Bianca are waiting there, surprisingly sober, although they look a lot like they hadn't slept at all last night. Bianca's usually perfectly-picked afro is smushed on one side and not the other, like she'd laid on it all night, and Madelyne's makeup is smeared all over her face.

"Oh, thank God you're okay!" They both fling themselves up from the bed and into your arms, then pause and take in your current state. "Are you okay?"

You nod quickly. "I just slept over at Kai's."

Bianca looks at Madelyne with a sly grin, then back at you. "Mhmmmm..."

You roll your eyes, then head to the fridge to get a bottle of water. "Did you guys get any sleep last night?"

"Not a wink."

Madelyne seems almost proud to admit her commitment to worrying about you, but it only makes your heart hurt. You were so busy with Kai you hadn't even sent them a text to explain.

"Guys... I'm sorry, I should've told you I was leaving. It won't happen again."

You look down at your feet while you say it, cheeks hot with embarrassment, and Madelyne pulls you into a hug by your arm. "Hey, yn, it's alright, okay? We're fine, you're fine, everyone's fine."

"That's true." You smile a little, then take a sip of your water. "I'm gonna lay down, okay? Let me know if Kai texts, I may have left without telling him..."

You're not afraid of leaving your phone with them. A, because they don't know your password, and B, because they're your best friends in the whole wide world and you trust them.

The water helps your headache go down and you're nodding off to sleep when your friends barge in. "He texted!!!"

You groan and fling your arm out for your phone. "Gimme..."

Bianca puts it in your hand and giggles slightly, bumping hips with Madelyne.

huening project partner 📖🖊️ hey, just wanted to check in after last night since you didn't tell me you were leaving... is everything all right? text or call me when you get this <3

You put your face in your hands with a sigh, and drop your phone on the side of the bed. "Not right now. Too much thinking involved in responding."

"He sent you a heeEeEeeEaaRrrT!" Madelyne giggles, raising her eyebrows repeatedly.

"Because. We kissed. And kissed again. And again. AND AGAIN. And now I don't want to talk to him because I don't have the emotional capacity, so please leave me alone right now."

You pout at them at your last sentence and then roll over in your bed, signifying the end of your conversation.

You'll text him later, of course you will. You just need to find a way to think with your brain, not your lips, because there's an actual ache inside you that needs him next to you.

You don't text him later. It's not your fault you slept for hours, and then went to eat lunch and go to an arcade and then got dinner and went back to sleep!! But you forgot that your presentation is tomorrow, and now, standing next to Kai at the front of the room, it's more than a little awkward.

You can see a littering of kiss marks on his neck and wonder how they even showed up like that. But that's not the point right now. The point is that you need to recite this presentation but your mind is blank. It's like every time Kai steps closer to you, something from him makes you go dizzy and numb and unable to form normal human words.

It doesn't seem like he's fairing much better... he keeps looking behind him at the presentation, which is bullet-pointed to keep it small, instead of the full paragraphs you were supposed to memorize.

Finally ending the project, you're more than a little relieved. It was not good, at all. You'd be surprised if you got anything higher than a B. You're more frustrated than mad at the result of your work. You both worked hard on this, you know you did. Things just happened at the wrong times and messed everything else up.

You're ready to leave at the end of class, but the teacher stops both you and Kai. They lean over their desk to whisper to you, even though the rest of the class is gone, and their dark silver hair catches the light just so to make it look like it's sparkling.

"Yn, Kai... I don't know what happened today, but I trust that it was something bad enough to cause this, because I am genuinely surprised at your outcome of this project. I saw the two of you working on it together. The Powerpoint was done very well. But the actual oral part of your presentation... was not. And for that, I can't give you any higher than a C-."

They look genuinely apologetic when they usher you out of the room, and when Kai tries to say something to you, you brush past him and head to your room. Thank god that was your last class of the day... you have no idea if you could've handled having any more after that disaster.

You're not necessarily... upset, so to say. Right now, you just feel in shock. Shocked that you let something as stupid as making out with your partner on this project give you a C-.

Your plan is already in action when you fall into the comfort of your bed: let it sink in, cry, sleep, eat, sleep, sleep.

You're just getting comfortable, tucking yourself under your covers and wrapping them around you, when a sharp, burning sensation on your neck makes you hiss through your teeth. You swat at your neck. Is it a bug??? When you feel nothing there, yet the burning doesn't cease, you groan and get out of your bed, trudging to your bathroom.

You look in the mirror, tug down your shirt's neckline, and-

"What the fuck is that???"

You have lines of bright red kiss marks on your neck, like some sort of fucking rash, and every time you touch them they start stinging. The sting must be getting to your head because the first thing you think of is, 'does kai have some sort of weird poison on his lips???'

You giggle at your own thoughts, take a photo of your neck, and send him a text saying just that.

huening project partner 📖🖊️ funny, i was just thinking the same about you can you come over, please? it's really really important

You almost type no, but then the sting turns to an ache that you can feel in the pit of your stomach, and you hit send.

you yes

The moment you open the door it feels like the ache is tugging you towards Kai by a string, like you're some sort of puppet. The moment your palm meets his shoulder, the burn on your throat ceases and a small gasp leaves your lips.

"This is not normal," you mumble, pressing a kiss to his lower lip.

"Not at all," he agrees, lips finding yours when you part.

Your gaze drops to his neck to find the remnants of your kisses from the night before. "So then... It's been happening to you too?"

He nods, one hand on your cheek, and when he kisses you again, it feels like your heart is being wrenched from your chest. In a good way.

"I- please, do that again?" You whisper, chest pressed against his.

He complies with no protest, his breath shaking against your skin.

The burn is less, but still there, and you remember something you've read. "Kai?"

"Hm?"

"I think... I think you're my soulmate."

He smiles at you and kisses you again. "Yeah, I've been figuring the same thing. It hurts, doesn't it?"

For a moment, you think he's talking about finding out who your soulmate is, but then you realize he's referring to each of the kisses burning against your skin. "It does.. do you know what we're supposed to do?"

He nods, and lowers his lips to your neck again. You smile to yourself at the fact that he knows, and quickly tug your shirt off, followed by your shorts, and he follows suit. Moments later, you're laying side-by-side in his bed, and, just as everything you've read has promised, when his bare skin meets you, the burn disappears completely.

And, well, with that taken care of, you go back to kissing him with a small giggle. You're more than a little surprised at finding your soulmate and you can tell Kai is too, his heartbeat fluttering under your palm.

His skin is smooth beneath your fingers, and you barely process when your lips lower to mark it, sucking splotchy purple hickeys across the broad plane of his chest. Kai shudders slightly when you do, and you look up at him, nervous you made a mistake.

He shakes his head the slightest, closing his eyes briefly. "I'm just... getting used to how it feels when you touch me."

Your cheeks grow hot. You thought it was just you who noticed, the way everything gets a little warmer when his body is touching yours.

The burn under your skin returns when you move away from him slightly, and when you gasp, Kai tugs you back down onto him, a little smile dancing across his face. "I think we're gonna have to stay like this for a while..~"

There's a teasing note to his voice that wasn't there just a second ago, and it makes you do a double take to be sure this was the same shy boy who smelled (and still smells) like baby powder. "I don't think I'll mind~"

His cheeks go pink, like he hadn't expected you to flirt back at all. It makes you laugh, the flustered look on his face that makes it seem like he's forgotten that you're in his bed, practically naked.

You press your forehead to his and leave a small kiss on one of the moles on his cheek. Kai's hands move to your hips, moving you just a little bit so you're situated on his stomach, and the way he looks up at you through the pieces of hair in his face makes your breath catch. This man right here wants you, needs you, and it's so blatantly obvious from the look in his eye that you have no idea if he's messing with you or not.

You tentatively move your hips back so you're straddling him, and run a slow hand down his torso, and when he closes his eyes, you can feel the emotions radiating off of him in your own body. That's new.

His emotions feel so warm, like he's happy just being here with you, and he almost feels like he's mentally nuzzling you when you run a hand through his hair. "I think I like this..." you murmur, laying down on top of him and looping your arms under his back. You note the way his head falls immediately to the crook of your neck, not to give you any more kisses, but just to breathe you.

He whines when you sit back up, but the moment your lips meet his again, you can feel him go fuzzy, like he can't quite think straight when you're kissing him, and... well, you're almost completely sure that he can feel you feeling the same way.

"Kai, I..." You try to catch your breath when he breaks the kiss, but he chases your lips so desperately that you can't help but fall back into him.

A soft whimper from him surprises you, and, if even possible, you feel his mind go even fuzzier. Dizzy too, almost. Like his head has gone underwater and everything he's hearing has gone muffled, along with everything he says, too.

"Wan', please?" he hums, lips finding your neck again.

You almost ask what he wants, but you can feel it, and your cheeks grow hot before you oblige, your hand slipping beneath his boxers to take him in your hands. His tip is dribbling clear precum when you tug his boxers down, and when you stroke him once, you can feel the pleasure coursing through his body.

The achy burn is back, a little more fervent, like some sort of primal animal instinct, and it needs him closer, more, this close is nowhere near close enough, and before you can even comprehend it, you're whispering in Kai's ear and he's nodding and you notice that the burn only goes away completely once he's inside you.

Oh fuck.

It's not like you haven't done this before. It's not like you haven't enjoyed doing it before. But nothing has ever come even close to this. You can feel him, not just inside you but around you and with you and everything else. It's like every other time you've had sex all pushed into one thing and multiplied by ten.

And it's not just your experience you're feeling, it's like you're in Kai's head and not only feeling what you're feeling but also what it feels like to him. How it feels to be inside you. The same experience, backwards.

People have told you how much better it feels with your soulmate, but you just scoffed. How is something going to feel better with some random person you have a connection with?

But now you understand.

It's not just some random hookup with some random person. Nowhere near that at all. It's with someone who feels both new and familiar because you've crossed lifetime after lifetime together and now you've finally found each other again. It's like kissing someone that you know you can give up all control to, and they'd still hold you and take care of you and it just feels right.

You can tell Kai's new to this. His body is at an awkward angle beneath you, his arms looped over your legs, and his eyes are squeezed tightly shut. You can hear his shaky inhales and exhales, and his lips curl into a soft smile when you press a small kiss to them.

"Good?" You ask, and you can tell without him answering that yes, he's feeling very good, indeed.

"Very... 've never before, didn't know it felt like this..."

You giggle, which comes out wrong with how fucking breathless you feel, the burn of the kisses on your neck replaced by the burn in your thighs. "Trust me... doesn't usually feel like this."

He laughs, a quiet sound, his hips rocking up against yours. "'M I that good?"

"Ah, I don't know about that..." You tease, licking up the side of his neck. You smirk when his hands find purchase on your ass, moving you up and down in time with his thrusts, but the cocky look on your face slips when you feel him hit that spongy spot inside you, gummy walls tightening around him desperately.

Kai hisses through his teeth, then smiles up at you. "What were you just saying~?"

You smack him on his shoulder. "Shut up."

"What was that? Sorry, couldn't hear you over the sounds you're making~" He gives you a shit-eating grin that reminds you oh-so-much of his friend.

"You're acting like Beomgyu. Maybe I should take your favorite plushies and give them to him, considering you've swapped personalities today."

He feigns a shocked expression. "You would never!!!"

"I would!"

"You know... I could totally take my dick out right now and make you go back to your dorm.."

Contrary to his words, he only quickens his pace, repeatedly hitting the spot that makes your breath hitch. "Please don't."

"Hm? What was that~?"

"Don't stop, please, 'm so close, Kai..."

"Thought you said I wasn't good..." He catches your earlobe in his teeth briefly before his face falls to your neck, breathy pants against your skin betraying his facade.

You pull away from him and he whines slightly, looking up at you with a pout. "I think you should stop talking and just make me cum, Hyuka."

"I thought, ah, you liked when i- fuck- when i talk..."

"Mmm... debatable." You smirk down at him and the cocky smile plastered on an otherwise fucked-out face. The poor boy has tears wetting his lashes from your combined pleasure, his cheeks flushed.

"However, I do like this," you add, hands gripping at his upper arms. "I like this a lot."

"If you wanted me to shut up, then w-why are you talking to me?"

"I decided that actually, I'd rather hear you try to talk to me while you cum."

His eyes go wide at that, blonde hair plastered to his forehead with sweat. "I- I, ah, I-"

"'I, I, I,'" You mock, pursing your lips into a pitying pout. "Are you even trying?"

He nods pathetically, hands tightening on your hips. "I can't, I, feels so, so-" Kai cuts himself off with a whimper, hips twitching up against yours in a desperate attempt to pull himself closer to the edge.

"How does it feel, baby?" You coo, looking at him with wide, innocent eyes.

"Jus', ah, just wan' cum, 'm so close, feels so good, yn..."

A wide smile spreads its way over your lips, and your eyes narrow, almost like you're a predator looking at its prey. "See, baby? Wasn't that easy? That's all I wanted..."

He nods quickly, a watery sob pulled from his chest, and you press a soft kiss to his awaiting lips. "Doing so good, alright? Making me feel perfect, so so good."

Kai nods again, his breath shuddering in and out against your neck, his torso tensing up before his warm cum spurts inside you, cutting off whatever words you were about to say because holy shit, you can feel it. Not his cum painting the walls of your cunt, but the sheer ecstasy in his body from the force of his orgasm.

It's so overwhelming that you feel as if you might pass out when your own high washes over you. You go limp against Kai, cheek against his chest because all you can feel right now is exhaustion.

His arms lazily wrap around you, holding you close, and you roll off of his dick and onto the bed next to him, still panting. "So."

"So?"

You smile up at him, left hand running through his hair. "That was fun, right?"

"Very fun. I don't think I'm gonna be able to recover for another few hours."

You laugh, nuzzling into his neck. "I don't think so, either. If ever. I think I get the hype behind finding your soulmate now."

"Yeah? Did your super-awesome-amazing-boyfriend-slash-soulmate convince you of that?"

"Who said you were my boyfriend? Maybe I just fucked you because you're cute and you're my soulmate and now I'm going to ditch you for Soobin."

"Why is it always Soobin??? What obsession do you have with Soobin???" He looks genuinely hurt, and you stifle a laugh.

"I'm not obsessed with him, you idiot. I'm obsessed with my super-awesome-amazing-boyfriend-slash-soulmate who convinced me to enjoy having him as a soulmate."

This is new to you, unfamiliar territory. You've never walked into class holding hands with anyone, let alone your soulmate. Madelyne and Bianca are hovering behind you both the whole time, squealing and giggling and occasionally whisper-yelling their brand new shipname just for you and Kai.

And as for SooTaeJunGyu... when you happened to let a casual message to Kai slip out in the groupchat, they were quick to pick up on it and even quicker to realize you two were not just dating, but soulmates. (You still regret them finding out this way.)

Beomgyu's been the most annoying, as expected, posting whiny messages about how you spend all your time with Kai, and remember what you said about hanging out with him?

Of course, you haven't forgotten... it just so happens that every time you're away from Kai for more than a few hours, his most recent kisses start to burn again. Which means, wherever you go, Kai goes if you're going to be there for longer than two hours.

Kai gives your hand a gentle squeeze, still unsure of how much PDA you want, but when you give him a quick peck on the cheek, he goes slightly pink.

Your professor only smiles at your linked hands when you enter the classroom. They'd had more than an inkling of your connection, which is exactly why they paired you two together for this project. Obviously, they hadn't expected you to almost fail the presentation, but, oh well, things happen.

Should you thank them if you ever find out? Yes. But will they ever tell you? No way, at all, ever. There's no reason for you two to ever know.

The most surprising occurrence today is most likely lunch, when you wipe off your lipgloss to take a bite of your lunch, and Kai has one request for you.

"Can I taste your lipgloss real quickly?"

The tips of his ears are red, and it's so endearing that the question doesn't even faze you. You smirk lightly, applying a fresh coat just to kiss him on the lips, and when he swipes his tongue over his lower lip after you pull away, you can't help but giggle at the surprised look on his face.

"Soobin-hyung, Soobin-hyung, I figured out why my sandwich tasted weird the other day!!"

Soobin looks up from his own lunch to catch the tail-end of Kai's sentence. He chews for a second, then speaks. "Hm?"

"My sandwich, remember???? The one I had you try and you said it tasted normal???"

Soobin shrugs, and Kai sighs, picking up your tube of lipgloss. "It tasted fruity to me. Like berries. And this lipgloss is called berry sorbet, Soobin! Because Yn's my soulmate, and she was wearing this lipgloss!!"

You facepalm at his excitement and Soobin's amused expression. Kai's in such shock, you can only expect to be hearing about this all day.

And sure enough, when Kai's walking by himself ahead of you, on your way to your last class of the day, you can hear him mumble to himself, "Berry sorbet... I can't believe I didn't figure it out sooner..."

taglist: @isitthemoon @sunnibearr @beomsitez @agustdiv1ne @mixtape-racha @hyewka @dido-of-the-endless @fairyofshampgyu @huckleberrykai @yaekounzn @prodsh00ky @yo-yo-yeonjun @sofiw0rld @strawberry-kirby @certifiedmoa @txtistheloml @shytubatu @sunnibearr @soobhns @beargyuu311 @napofamoon @zeecarus @gyuthmics @ohmahgods @notevenheretbh1 @crispymicrowave @junoswrlld @ningka @5xiang @hyungpo

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hellsslibrary · 10 months

Text

✧･ﾟ:* NSFW Alphabet with Cater Diamond *:･ﾟ✧

DNI : minors.

!!Warnings : sub!bottom!Cater, phone recording, sex with multiple caters(?), oral sex, sex toys, strangulation kink, teasing, male reader.

Deuce <————«« Cater »»————> Trey

Heartslabyul. Cater Diamond.

A = Aftercare (What are they like after sex?)

Sorry, but he definitely takes a photo (not your naked bodies, yes, but his disheveled hair and a fucked up, tired face). He does not post them anywhere (well, if you agree, he will post them, lol). But otherwise, after sex, he is still energetic as always. So if you want something, he is happy for it! Although he will definitely pull you both into the shower, because he does not like to be sweaty.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He loves everything about you, like really everything. He finds you absolutely beautiful from any angle and in any place. But if he had to choose, then it would be your palms (later you will understand why :)).

In himself, he adores his face, obviously. His handsome face that tears down while you fuck him roughly or overexcite/postpone his orgasm. Or one that is in a blissful expression while you both fuck at a gentle pace. Doesn't matter. His face is his pride.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically)

The most common sperm, yes. The only difference is that it is slightly saltier than normal semen, simply because he doesn't eat much sweets, and its taste depends on the person's diet.

Cater loves when you cum all over him. It doesn't matter where. On his belly, thighs, butt, face. He just loves the feeling of having your cum run down him.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He wants to record homemade porn with you. Yes. And probably, someday he will still offer it. Although this is exactly what he does not want to spread anywhere, he just wants to see how your sex looks from the outside and maybe use this someday to satisfy himself. How your bodies move, on his own expression, how your cock moves in him.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they're doing?)

He's... Very knowledgeable, but he's probably a virgin (at least in his asshole for sure). He knows a lot, a lot, but he has never tried it himself. Although he may have a few short flings with some ladies.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying)

Cat pose (click there to see what it is). He just loves the close contact of your bodies being so close to each other during this and how fluid your movements become in this position.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He... Likes to joke, yes. Although he will not arrange a circus, but he will definitely joke. Boring sex is not his thing. He will definitely make you laugh or smile at least once during this.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He is very tidy and keeps everything clean. He shaves them, yes. Just because he doesn't like how messy the hair looks there. And the color of the carpet matches his drapes. They are same orange color, but perhaps a little darker.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Very romantic. Definitely will whisper anything in your ear or scream it during an orgasm. He will hug you, kiss you, praise you, your dick, whatever. And will definitely try some clichéd scene from some crappy romantic movie (Hope not "50 Shades of Grey", lol).

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He does it often, yes. He just loves this business and is not at all shy about it. He jerks off at least 3-4 times a week. And it may or may not be recording a photo or video for you, sending it to you, thereby teasing you.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Oh, he loves choking. I can't get rid of the thought, but I think he enjoys it when you squeeze his neck, fucking him senseless, and how your palms tense up. He also loves... Seduction (there is such a kink, I checked). He enjoys the process of seducing you. He definitely has a list where he writes down what you like best and teases you like that.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Anywhere. He is not one of the shy boys. Although he didn't want you to fuck in front of someone in real life, but if you're into something like that, then Onlyfans is for you (Magicfans(?)).

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Mmm, to be honest, it doesn't start too fast, surprisingly. And this is quite difficult to do. But he is seduced by direct contact. Hug/stroke/kiss/squeeze/grope. It doesn't matter, just do it right and in sufficient quantities and it's yours.

N = NO (Something they wouldn't do, turn offs)

He... A very open boy. Kind of true. He is ready to try absolutely everything at least once. Although if you don’t like this, then of course he will not insist. But if you want to try something, then he is completely for this idea!

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Definitely give. I think he has a very skillful tongue. So he loves to please you, and I guess he doesn't have a gag reflex either, so enjoy him to the fullest. Although he is more likely to tease you too slowly or dangerously close to your most sensitive parts.

And, of course, also likes to receive. Well, what could be better than your boyfriend's tongue and mouth on your most sensitive spots? And maybe teeth, if you want to tease him back.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Well... I'm not sure about that, but I'm guessing a slow but rough pace? Like slow, but deep thrusts right into his favorite, most sensitive points, from which he simply writhes with pleasure, grabbing at anything.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Yes, he loves this. Although his preference is still for casual sex where you can enjoy each other for hours, he still doesn't mind having a quick sex if you or he suddenly wants it.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He is definitely yes. It is quite risky and experimental. He is ready for anything, for what you want, you just have to ask. Although, of course, he is not a superman and he will not repeat something too risky and extreme, of course.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

A lot, I think. He loves long sex and loves milking you dry. So around 7-12, I guess. And to bring him to overstimulation, and even more so to dry orgasm, you will need a ton of energy and endurance from you. So many.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Yes, he has a lot of sex toys. True a lot. Especially those that have the ability to control remotely, such as vibrators, dildos and other things. But he also has enough of everything else from some ordinary ropes and handcuffs to sticks for sounding. And he's willing to use it anytime, whether on him or on you (but I think he's more of a sub, so he prefers you use it on him, obviously).

U = Unfair (How much do they like to tease)

He loves. He loves to run his hands over your body, stroking your sensitive parts, he loves to rub on you in public, he loves to send you some erotic photos, videos or voice messages, he loves anything if it's enough to tease you.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

It's changeable. He can moan with great volume, and maybe even scream with pleasure. But other times he can be very quiet and just make little noises and sighs, I guess it just depends on what kind of sex you're having.

W = Wild Card (Get a random head canon for the character of your choice

Um... His signature spell. Imagine that you will be satisfied by several Caters at once. Any place you can imagine. And in any way you can imagine. I will not go into details, because everyone has their own erogenous zones, but just imagine.

X = X-Ray (Let's see what's going on in those pants, picture or words)

Well. He's quite skinny, he's got muscles here and there, but he's still very slender (although weird headcanon time, I think he has a pumped up ass, lol). His dick is about 4-5 inches / 10-13 cm. But he is very thick in girth.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Above average, definitely. He loves to fuck with you and he will fuck with you. Although he is not a sex monster, of course, he still wants to have sex quite often.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fell asleep afterwards)

He won't sleep if you haven't had sex at night or late in the evening. He doesn't get tired after sex (unless it's some kind of overstimulation session), so he's very energetic anyway! But if it is night or late evening, then his biological clock will work for him and he will want to sleep.

#seme male reader #top male reader #dom male reader #a!writes.#sub character #twisted wonderland smut #twisted wonderland x reader #sub twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x male reader #cater x reader #cater x male reader #sub cater #cater smut #cater diamond x reader #cater diamond x male reader

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jewbeloved · 1 year

Note

Could you write the Yandere alphabet of Tweek and Craig? thank you very much (btw have a happy new year <3)

Yandere Creek Alphabet 💙💛🩸❤️‍🩹💔

Warnings: mentions of kidnapping and murder

Gender: Neutral

💛 Craig and Tweek 💙

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

At first, they preferred to stay as a couple since they weren't really into poly relationships.

But that was until they immediately changed their minds after seeing you for the first time, they still weren't sure about it though but after the poly relationship started with you and them they didn't regret it one single bit.

As for them giving affection, Craig is always down with cuddling you and Tweek together. He also lets you cuddle him if you wanna take over and be the big spoon.

Tweek is nervous when Craig is not present at the moment during your cuddling sessions. He's afraid he might cuddle you uncomfortably or you might be annoyed at him for feeling anxious even though it's just you both cuddling.

Please give Tweek some reassurance that he's doing alright 🥺

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

They are pretty much soft yanderes when it comes to you.

They aren't a huge fan of murdering their victims physically, like Kenny in my last yandere alphabet with him. Craig and Tweek prefer to kill their victims where the blood or evidence won't get on them.

Washing their clothes and getting rid of evidence that is on them is a real pain in the butt you know?

Their killings aren't really messy, they're in fact clean and straightforward.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

Goodness no!

Why would they mock you?

Sure they may have kidnapped you, but that doesn't mean they would go out of their way to degrade you like a helpless animal, even If you try to escape from them.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

Anything that will involve you trying to escape.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

Tweek would be the most vulnerable one in this scenario.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

You could do anything, and they still wouldn't let you leave them.

They're loyal asf.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

Oh, probably when you did something really uncalled for and made them both snap at you and made you sleep on the couch crying yourself to sleep for hours.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

They don't mind any future with you, as long as you're by their side.

They can already tell their future is going to be amazing.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Yep they do get jealous, but not jealous enough to kill that particular person on the spot.

Unless that person really pushed their jealousy to the next level.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

They're drowning you in kisses and affection all day, and you can't do anything about it >:C

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

They approached and talked to you normally like any other person would before they began to develop highly feelings for you.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Tweek almost made it seem obvious a few times, but he got better at hiding over time like Craig.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

Punishment? Nah.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

None, your free darling. But not free enough to be allowed to leave ☺️

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

As patient as a porcupine 🤗🤗☺️

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

Their relationship wouldn't be the same without you, they both loved you so much but since you're gone. They can't even stay together.

Craig and Tweek would both break up with each other and go separate ways.

Sorry, but it wouldn't be the same without you...

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

Tweek does feel guilty for kidnapping and shutting you away from the world like this.

But if he ends up having a certain mood swing, he wouldn't feel bad nor guilty about it.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

The protective side got the better of them, if it didn't they wouldn't be on the edge of being yanderes.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

Let's be honest, Tweek would probably be freaking out the most and think it would be his fault that you're isolating yourself from them both.

Craig would calm him down and reassure him, before he talks you into stop isolating yourself.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

You might have to play your cards right with this one.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

🫤👉❌ No

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

They would mostly be friends with you for like a couple of weeks before they took it to the next level of asking you to be in a poly relationship with them.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

2 months

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

No means no.

Haven't done a yandere alphabet in ages, tbh.

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ratcate · 3 months

Note

I'm here to admit that I may have developed a hyper fixation on your OCs (especially on Zerion and Sir. Valentine) so can you perhaps tell us more about them? (And other OCS)

oh hey!! great selection of characters. Makes me really happy you wanting to know more about them! I love them a lot, but Sir Valentine more, as Zerion's personality and setting is pretty nebulous still. info about them both under read more!

Zerion is some sort of cartoony super villain, heavily inspired in the night of the bald mountain monster interpretation from Fantasia(disney)

(art from 2020)

I think he's a very strong dark mage or something. Right now I have him reduced to a joke. A cartoony villain living his slice of life, but always awaiting action, the smallest spark chaos, to join in, in a world where nothing ever happens. He has his sidekick, Vampina (I think that was her name). A vampire chick who lives in the moment and is Zerion's servant, as long as he provides him with some blood every now and then

(2023)

(2021)

she almost never pulls off that relaxed smile from her face, her brain usually has no thoughts more than "can i eath this?" "I can eat this" Both of them are pretty evil. I remember once i tried to sketch out a first chapter, where they had a visit of income tax department agents, coming to remind Zerion he hadn't paid his taxes, and both Zerion and Vampina made a whole intricate plan on how to get rid of them and torture them, to show the government they're not to be fucked with. Though, all their scare tactics were just confusing, failed magic tricks for the men, now tied to apparent non functioning electric chairs, looking at each other through their sunglasses, stoic faces, while confused to what Zerion is yapping about in his villain monologue, while Vampina eats a stale bread in the BG. ---------------------------------------------------------

I don't have much about Sir Valentine either, but I certainly have drawn him more. For now, His name is Sir Cannon Valentine, but we'll get to that in a bit.

(both from 2020)

This is the first art ever I made of him, and that's a lot of his vibe. (2019)

This MAN, is some warrior who died in his armor but is back by some whack magic, and he's impatient, easily irritated, screams instead of talking, and I've always imagined having him a strong accent. He's here to fight and go headfirst into everything bc he really cannot die.

As of 2024, Sir Valentine is Sir Cannon Valentine (you can still call him the first version), BECAUSE, besides him being reborn and inmortal, angry and ready to fucking obliterate anything in his way, now his body works as a canonball

He went through my manic episode of redesigning many of my characters, after getting a taste of Pizza tower's cartoony characters, and became this. Much more functional, easily drawn, flowy. he just works, i can animate him in a snap of fingers. Still consistenly working to improve his design even more.

I will probs change the story, but this guy is resucitated as a last resort for a war between kingdoms, as a mistake, bc they wanted to revive some other guy, but got mistaken and went to his thomb. This guy revived him, after a ritualistic dance and some lightning

and then he is like "oh wait I fucked up", and Valentine is like "TOO LATE BITCH I'M FREE!!" and blasts away from him, as a cannonball, fueled by his own fire and methane gas from the catacombs he is in lol. This story is very not much constructed, but I love Sir Valentine a lot, and the characters I can surround him with. I see him falling for a bourgeoisie woman, or a princess even, bc all my stories need the romance, I'm nothing without the romance. I am also thinking of including another character of mine, Sayen, as the daughter of this death guy

Sayen previously appeared as a participant in a nsfw comic in my twt alt account lol. I love her and her design very much.

#zerion oc #sir valentine oc #OCs #oc

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icarus-star · 4 months

Text

adoration. | ollie sway ♥︎

a/n: haiii guys!! :3 fluffy, rushed valentines day smut for my sweet sweet boy. afab!reader, no specifiedppronouns. praise, brief overstimming, fingering. very ooc ollie, i'm still not super good at writing him.

february 14th. ollie wasn't always too thrilled about the holiday. seeing couples together, happy and smiling. it's something he never thought he'd have. it's something he always wished he could have.

once you came along? it was probably one of his favorite days. as he had already set the table a couple of hours prior to you coming over. a plate on each side, along with a wine glass next to each plate. in the center, a vase of pink peonies and orchids, with a single red rose mixed into the bunch. plus the currently unlit candle next to the vase of flowers.

ollie was dressed the finest he could be. in his white button up, black vest and dress pants. it was really the only formal attire that he owned. he also debated on tying his hair up. he knew that you liked his hair, as long and thick as it was, but he also knew that it would be more appropriate to tie it up in the back. he decided on tying it back in a low ponytail, a curled strand of his hair loose as it was refusing to go back with all the rest.

knock knock! you had arrived early.

for a moment, ollie panicked. and then he remembered that he had already gotten everything done. he had cooked, set everything up.. and now he was opening the door.

"hey," he said with a sheepish smile. you looked so good tonight, so pretty.

"hii, ollie. :3" you greet back, entering his home like you had so many times before. "i like what you're doin' with your hair." you giggled, noticing how he tied it up for tonight.

♡

you and ollie sat across from one another at the dinner table, him sipping the red wine he had poured into his cup minutes ago as he listened to you talk. he liked listening to you talk. "oh, i almost forgot," you mumbled, grabbing something from out of your bag. "they're for you." you smiled, handing ollie a tiny heart-shaped box. it was just one of those little things of chocolate, probably about three or four pieces in it, but to him it was still thoughtful.

ollie smiled. "thank you, so much." he says with genuine gratefulness. any gift from you is perfect to him. "i actually got you something too," he says, leaning over the table towards you.

he placed a quick peck against your lips, pulling away right after. "uh, actually more than that.." he said in a hushed tone, kissing you a bit deeper. both of you moved away from the table, closer together. his lips moved so gently against yours.

the two of you stumbled together into the living room, you collapsing onto the couch for ollie to climb on top of you. the kisses deepened, becoming hotter and a bit rougher. with your lips against his, you pulled the hair tie out of his hair, allowing it to waterfall to his shoulders and get in your face. you liked it this way.

his hands moved down to rid you of any clothing below your waist, his index and middle finger quickly finding their way to your needy clit. "fuck," you groaned, throwing your head back against the arm of the couch.

ollie kissed down your neck, as you had given him full access. "you're so perfect." he whispered into your ear, hurriedly pushing his finger's into your cunt. this caused you to moan a bit louder, especially as he began curling them inside of you. "so pretty.. love you so much," he muttered, his thumb circling your clit.

"ollie, fuck!!~" you whined. "please, hah! kiss me again~?" you moaned, your brain foggy from how fast ollie was going with his finger's. he wasn't usually like this. of course, he complied with your wishes, his lips on yours again.

your tongues slid together, almost distracting you from his hand on your pussy. his finger hit that softer, spongey spot inside, making you gasp into the kiss. he chuckled, brushing the tips of his finger's over that spot again. "you're really cute," he mumbled, kissing your jaw.

you couldn't help but whimper at every little touch, he made you feel so good. his thumb against your clit, his other two finger's hitting every spot perfectly in your cunt. you both could tell that you were close. "cum for me, okay? please, cum on my finger's." he whispered into your ear.

you swallowed back, nodding your head. "mhm, yeah..!" you whined, your chest heaving with every exasperated breath.

"you can do it, just focus on me. uh huh.. like that," he cooed against your cheek. "wanna make you cum so badly, i love you, i adore you." he murmured, every word causing you to get closer to the edge, right until "i need you to cum for me.." the sensation of release washed over you, causing you to let out a breathy moan as ollie kept going.

it was too much, he kept up the same rhythm that made you cum, repeatedly drawing circles over your clit, his finger's hitting that perfect spot inside. he didn't want to stop, he wanted you to feel the best you could. "olliiiee, please!! s'too much. :(" you whined, which finally caused him to stop.

he pulled his finger's out of your throbbing cunt, licking them clean of all of your wetness. "m'sorry for going for too long, just wanted to make you feel good." he mumbled, positioning himself to lay next to you on the couch, your head rested on his chest.

"wait, you didn't cum t--" before you could finish that thought, ollie was hushing you. "i don't care, i wanted this to be about you. not me." he says, kissing your temple.

#valentines day #ollie sway #ollie sway x reader #the song of sway lake #i ❤ rory culkin #rory culkin #rory culkin x reader #rory culkin smut

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pippin-katz · 8 months

Note

Hey!

Why does Henry rebuff Alex during their first meeting? Like when Alex greets him, he walks away ignoring him.. What's the theory there?

I'm kinda new here and if this was already discussed or known, my apologies 😊

No prob! I like explaining things, even if it's obvious or everyone is like "we know already". My little neurodivergent brain gets happy when I make neat essays with GIFs and sections and whatnot lol

Post Writing Note: once again, this very simple question with a fairly simple answer turned into a fucking essay and I am so sorry lmfao, I know I said I like making them but I did not intend this to be a long one!! You have been warned!!

Foreword Regarding The Canon

I, and I assume most viewers who have also read the book, interpret the film's canon to be a combination of the film's events, and parts of the book that we didn't see, but could've happened anyway. Things like what was said in the emails, Bea's history with drug abuse, Pez' foundation, and whatnot are sort of meshed together with the film in my mind; just because the film didn't have the time to show it to us does not mean it did not happen in that version of their world. I say this cause I'm going to be discussing both the book and the film.

Also a key: Pink - internal dialogue from the book Red - Alex's dialogue in both versions Blue - Henry's dialogue in both versions

Establishing The Basics

I assume you’re referring to this moment during the greeting line:

Side note: Alex’s face at the end never fails to make me laugh 😂

While this is their first interaction in the film, it’s not their first meeting, as they explain that they met at the Melbourne Climate Conference a few years ago. In the book, they met in Rio at the Olympics when they were teenagers. The only difference this makes is that they're more mature in the film than the book, but it doesn't change much.

The beats for how their first meeting went are practically identical.

Alex approached Henry to introduce himself. Henry, who was dealing with his grief and depression after his father’s passing, was an ass.

He looks at him unkindly; in the film, Alex describes it as: “like he had head lice”, and in the book, Alex describes it as: “like I was the most offensive thing you had ever seen”. Either way, he looked at him in a way that visibly communicated a dislike or lack of respect for him.

Then he turns to Shaan and says he needs to leave, though the wording is different between book and film. In the film, he says, “I need to get out of here” -which Alex mishears as "get me out of here"- while in the book, he says, “Can you get rid of him?”.

Henry Meeting Alex

Admittedly, the line from the book is far more rude, but Henry does explain far later -after Alex storms Kensington Palace and they agree that they’re committed to being together- through an email what he was thinking during their first meeting. I see no reason for these thoughts to be any different in the film's context, as the reason for Henry's behavior is still rooted in his depression and trauma surrounding his father's death. They're also relevant to understanding Henry's behavior.

You might have seen edits or mentions of this email because it’s one of the most memorable.

Henry explains he had been dealing with his trauma by basically compartmentalizing the most impactful -mostly negative- events of his life into “rooms”. He puts those moments into “rooms” in his head, based on the layout of Buckingham Palace. He chooses which room based on how traumatic or impactful it was; two examples he mentions are losing his virginity in college, which he shoves it into “the smallest, most cramped little broom cupboard” he could find, and the night his father died, which he puts in “the biggest room, a ballroom, wide open and dark, windows drawn and covered”.

But when he saw Alex for the first time, he felt such a strong reaction that he took it “down to the gardens” and “pressed it into the leaves of a silver maple and recited it to the Waterloo Vase”. He quite memorably says, “It didn’t fit in any rooms.”

Then he describes what Alex looked like, and how he was talking to Nora and June, and how he was so animated, happy, and beautiful, and Henry was in a dark place, and felt like he couldn't experience life the same way.

Here's the most popular/remembered bit: "I thought, this is the most incredible thing I have ever seen, and I had better keep it a safe distance away from me. I thought, if someone like that ever loved me, it would set me on fire."

Henry basically pushed Alex away on purpose because on top of all the trauma he was experiencing, he was convinced he would ruin him, if you will, and that he didn't deserve someone like Alex.

Alex Meeting Henry

It's easy looking back with the knowledge we have now to wonder why Henry didn't just approach Alex, provide an explanation for his behavior (doesn't have to be his father, any justifiable reason would've worked), and apologize the very next time they saw each other.

But it's important to remember that this was their first ever interaction with each other. Henry was feeling a ton of different emotions, but so was Alex.

Alex is a smart, but stubborn, person. He develops very strong opinions fast, that may make sense, but sometimes fails to consider the alternatives. It's sort of like the two sides of his brain work at different speeds. He's very smart, but sometimes his emotional bias can blind him to fairly obvious things that would change his opinion.

For example, Alex sees Henry as rude, smug, entitled, and a snob, which are all inherently false notions. However, based on his one meeting with him, those aren't unfounded assumptions for him to make.

If you look at it purely from Alex's perspective, not knowing anything about Henry's depression and the depths of his struggle with grief, Henry does act and sound incredibly rude to Alex. Giving someone a nasty look when they introduce themselves to you and then immediately requesting to get out of the conversation, screams: "I don't care about your existence".

Couple that with the fact that Henry is a white, blue-eyed (in the book), blond who was born into royalty, and Alex is a working class person of color who has had to run himself into the ground to get to where he is.

That is the perfect set up for Henry's behavior to be interpreted worse than just rude. All of that information can logically add up to the assumption: Henry is an elitist, racist, asshole.

Before They Met

Alex also secretly admired Henry when he was younger. This wasn't translated to the screen, but like I mentioned, it's something I think of as happening in that universe anyway, just slightly differently.

June gets a teen magazine for her fifteenth birthday; since June isn't part of the film's canon, I can headcanon that this was Nora instead, since she's sort of a combination of the two characters for the movie. All the details don't really matter, but I know someone would be like "but that didn't happen in the movie-" and I just don't feel like explaining that to each comment I end up getting.

There's a teen magazine with a picture of Henry in it. It's a candid picture that captured his actual essence rather than the stuffy pictures Alex had seen on the news. He describes it, saying, "there was a happy, sun-bright confidence to him that couldn't be posed".

Alex definitely developed an unconscious crush on him, not realizing it until later. He would keep going back to the magazine and to the page with him on it. He would touch his hair in the picture, trying to imagine how it felt. He considered prying the stables apart and taking just that page to hide in his room.

As his parents started getting higher in the government, Henry also became his role model. He wanted to match the easy confidence he seemed to have.

But then he met him, and the fantasy he had of him was shattered by how rude Henry was.

The tabloids and news are always comparing Alex to him, which he mentions in the film to Nora in the car. He resents the fact that he's compared to Henry when he has every advantage, if you will, but he also resents that he ever wanted to be like Henry in the first place, having convinced himself now that he was a fake, boring, obnoxious prick.

Because Alex doesn't not know about Henry's dad, but its something he thought about more as a bullet point on his fact sheet rather than considering it any further.

Henry's depression is more explicitly explored in the book, since they have the time to go into all those details. He isolates himself, and has insomnia like he mentioned in the movie, but he also takes medication, and Alex makes a mention of a "tense little grimace Henry does in public" that he thought was him being aloof.

Once Henry mentions his father's passing during their conversation in the hospital closet, Alex's brain puts everything together very fast. He's not stupid, and in the book even says, "He's been aware for too long that most people don't navigate thoughts of whether they'll ever be good enough or if they're disappointing the entire world. He's never considered Henry might feel any of the same things."

Antagonizing Each Other

However, that is all information Alex doesn't have at the wedding. They don't say exactly how many times they've spoken in either version, just that they have met a few times since their first introduction.

Alex, on top of dealing with the comparisons, is convinced that Henry doesn't like him either. The quote from the books is: "The most annoying thing of all is Alex knows Henry hates him too-he must, they're naturally mutual antagonists-but he refuses to outright act like it."

He actively antagonizes him whenever they are at the same event. It's implied in the film when Henry describes him as "the world's most irritating person", but the book makes it clear that Alex is always the one to attack first, if you will.

As soon as Alex goes over to him at the wedding, we can see Henry visibly react in a way that implies he's bothered but has to pretend so they don't cause a scene. His expressions say, "oh here we go 🙄". Henry knows that Alex is going to pick a fight with him. It happens every time they run into each other.

This interaction in the book is pretty iconic and it does a great job of showing what I'm describing. Alex gets drunk and approaches Henry and while they're talking, Henry notices. He suggests Alex switch to water after he makes a lot of rude comments about him pretending to be more important than everyone and pretending to hate the attention the media gives him.

"Should I?" Alex says. He pushes aside the thought that maybe the wine is what gave him the nerve to stomp over to Henry in the first place and makes his eyes as coy and angelic as he knows how. "Am I offending you? Sorry I'm not obsessed with you like everyone else. I know that must be confusing for you."

"Do you know what?" Henry says. "I think you are."

Alex's mouth drops open, while the corner of Henry's turns smug and almost a little mean.

"Only a thought," Henry says, tone polite. "Have you ever noticed I have never once approached you and have been exhaustingly civil every time we've spoken? Yet here you are, seeking me out again." He takes a sip of his champagne. "Simply an observation."

"What? I'm not-" Alex stammers. "You're the-"

"Have a lovely evening, Alex," Henry says tersely, and turns to walk off.

It drives Alex nuts that Henry thinks he gets to have the last word, and without thinking, he reaches out and pulls Henry's shoulder back.

You know what happens from there.

Their conversation in the film is slightly different, but it carries the same beats as the book: Alex approaching Henry, he pretends to be nice while saying something rude, Henry starts retaliating against the comments, Henry tries to walk away, and Alex tries to stop him. In the book, Alex just stumbles when Henry turns back around really fast. He gets tripped up and starts falling, and just like in the movie, he grabs Henry to trying and keep himself upright. The icing on the jacket bit was added into the movie, which I have to say was a brilliant addition.

Back to their conversation, remember that Henry doesn't dislike Alex, rather he's had a crush on him since they met. But Alex has made his opinions very clear, and Henry is not a pushover. He doesn't engage him, but returns the energy he's given. When Alex is rude, he's rude back, but he doesn't start the fight.

I imagine that any attempt Henry could've made to explain or apologize for the Climate Conference/Olympics would have been squashed before he even had the chance by Alex's need to insult him. They also only ever see each other at very public events, so he can't ask why Alex doesn't like him; that's partly why he does it when they're stuck in the broom closet at the hospital.

They're completely alone and have nowhere to go, and it's probably been eating him alive every time he's thought about Alex for the last few years. Even if he doesn't like the answer, he knows that he will get an answer, so he asks.

Why Does Henry Walk Away?

This all being said, back to the moment in question:

The most common interpretation of this interaction is that Henry walks away because 1) he doesn't want to start anything, & 2) he has a raging crush on Alex, and he can't deal with it.

Now, Alex does start off playing nice here, being friendly and polite, but it's a reoccurring issue between them that even if things start off civil, Alex will end up antagonizing him.

They also both "know" that "the other hates them", so they both probably want to avoid each other.

Henry knows that Alex doesn't like him. He doesn't know why Alex doesn't like him, but he's well aware of the animosity. Therefore, he knows that Alex's politeness is a front.

He has a crush on him. He likes Alex, but he's gotten basically nothing but disdain from him since they met. That has to hurt, to have the person you like actively hate you. It also has to hurt knowing that they're pretending to be friendly.

Because Alex is pretending here. He's representing his mother, the President of the United States, at a massive foreign event. He knows better than to act up, so even if he doesn't like him, he is polite with his greeting.

After Henry brushes him off again, he's visibly pissed off, but he doesn't do anything. He avoids him. He stands off to the side, and sort wanders around alone, just drinking and feeling anxious. He has no intention of starting a conflict.

The only reason Alex approaches Henry is because he gets wasted drunk. This is the same in the book. While he was able to control himself before, once he's drunk, he just goes with his first impulses. One of those is to piss Henry the fuck off the second he sees him.

The book says, "[Henry] looks politely half-interested in that obnoxious way of his, like he has somewhere else to be. And Alex can't resist the urge to call his bluff."

This is to say that if Alex hadn't gotten as drunk as he did, he probably would've avoided Henry for the evening. Alex always seeks him out to provoke him, but like I said, he's aware of how important this event is. He does not want to start anything because it could reflect poorly on his mother. But Henry has no reason to think Alex will behave any differently than he has in the past, which he ends up being right about.

So to finally answer your question: Henry walking away was his attempt to avoid the conflict, as well as spare himself the emotional torture that would be watching the person you like be friendly with you, when you know it's fake and that they actually hate you.

Holy fuck, I could've told you that in two sentences but instead it turned into a whole fucking essay for NO REASON! Geez, just why? Why am I like this? lmfao 😭

#red white and royal blue #rwrb #rwrb movie #rwrb book #rwrb thoughts #alex claremont diaz #taylor zakhar perez #henry hanover stuart fox #henry fox mountchristen windsor #nicholas galitzine #firstprince #katz questions

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yanderes-galore · 1 month

Note

Hi! May I request a Yan X-Tale!Chara and Yan X-Tale!Sans concept of them sharing a darling?

Thanks!!!!!!!!

　- 🪷🪼

I'm pretty sure them sharing is just... Cross. So here's what I got!

Yandere! X-Tale/X-Event! Chara + X-Tale Sans Sharing a Darling

(FT. X! Frisk and Cross mentioned)

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic - Sharing

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Yandere Sharing, Possessive behavior, Overprotective behavior, Kidnapping, Vague yandere themes, Dubious companionship/relationship.

The thing is, X! Sans doesn't really come into play until Chara becomes the X-Event with Frisk.

So the most likely situation, without any AUs, would be them going obsessive over you as Cross.

Which... would just be a Cross concept.

So, here's my idea.

This idea would lead into a Cross concept, but Cross won't be the focus this time.

However... them sharing would eventually lead into Cross.

I'm going to imagine that you're in timeline X or at least are a visitor.

Chara most likely gets attached first then Sans does.

Stuff like this gets complicated since Frisk is part of the X-Event... and then Cross happens... it's a mess.

So~ Let's me try my best.

You are most likely part of the X-Timeline.

Chara is currently known as the X-Event with Frisk and they start as your "friends".

In reality they both have seen countless copies of you... but despite their negativity, they still find some care for you.

Sans, naturally due to the Timeline, also sees you as a childhood friend.

You grew up alongside the "two" and you know nothing of the whole OVERWRITE and RESET thing.

Sans didn't know anything about it until the X-Event used OVERWRITE on him.

Chara is the one that cares for you the most, but Frisk naturally also cares about you.

It's just Chara is the one who interacts with you more often through Frisk.

Sans grows closer to you since you're so close with the X-Event.

Poor you would expect nothing until things go down.

What I imagine is during the events of Timeline X, Chara knows that they can't play this game much longer.

They need to get rid of Gaster... and they need to use Sans to do it.

Plus, Chara knows once he gets rid of Gaster... he can have his happy ending with you.

Meanwhile, Sans has no clue and just grows attached to you naturally.

He just thinks he has a small crush on his best friend.

Has since he was small... until Chara enacts his plan as the X-Event.

Now... does it even matter?

I like to think they both like you to some degree but don't decide on sharing until the very end of the timeline.

When Chara (as X-Event) uses OVERWRITE and tells Sans everything, he also admits he knows about how Sans feels towards you.

Sans is nervous and stressed about the whole situation... even more so when Chara admits they feel a similar way towards you.

But they won't hurt Sans... no... in fact, if the skeleton aids them in taking down Gaster...

They'll share, no matter what.

Which leads into the final battle, the universe and timeline are destroyed, leaving only Chara and Sans as Cross.

Perhaps they think you died but you managed to flee to the Omega Timeline for refuge?

That, or you are also in that void of a universe with them... just them.

That's an idea of how things can play out.

In terms of behavior?

Chara is sadistic and teasing, while Sans is compassionate albeit a bit stressed/worried.

I like to imagine later on they meet you as Cross and both of them break down.

They thought you died.

Now the two are one being... which somewhat makes it easier to share if they aren't squabbling for control.

That's most likely the peak of them sharing without going too much into Cross and Season 2.

They're definitely compatible with sharing an obsession due to this existence of Cross.

But Chara certainly wants control more often.

Chara comes off as cruel at times, often toying with you due to his nature.

But Sans/Cross comforts you, trying to explain that Chara is just... like that.

Chara is cruel at times but he wouldn't want to hurt you too much.

Chara and Sans still have their little deal as Cross, they can share you.

Safe to say they still want to create their "perfect" universe with you.

It doesn't matter who dies, it doesn't matter if you run...

They'll find you... even if it requires being covered in the blood of other universe copies.

You'll be living with them in their new universe and they will share you just as they share their own body...

It doesn't matter what you think, in their eyes you always belonged with them... no one else.

#yandere underverse #yandere xtale #yandere xtale chara #yandere xtale sans #yandere cross sans

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foralternateuniverses · 3 months

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Acechiji A Whisker Away au

Prompt given by @loopyarts while talking about Ichiji + cats combo in the server, so ofc I had to run with the idea.

FIRST. BACKSTORIES.

Ace:

Roger was a bit of an absent father due to work, Rogue was the main caretaker, but she died when Ace was like 5, then he ended up in Dadan's care, with Sabo and Luffy.

Sabo was taken in by Roger because of the neglect he suffered from his bio parents, but since he was basically send to Dadan immediately Ace didn't hold anything against him.

Finally, when Ace is like, 14-16, Roger retires and returns home, with Raleigh. Since he's the legal guardian of both Ace and Sabo he takes both home, Luffy stays with Dadan, tho they're still pretty much neighbors so they see each other daily (and at school).

Ace is not happy.

Vinsmokes:

Sora and Judge divorced when the boys were like 4-5, but since Sora died when they were 8, they went back to being under Judge's care, as Zeff could not claim guardianship of the kids.

Sanji kept running away to stay with Zeff as much as possible, Judge just gave up on him, although he still scolds him from time to time, like Sanji, Reiju is mostly left ignored, as is Yonji, who learnt to keep as much to himself.

Generally speaking, they have a lot of leeway as long as they help Judge maintain his image and obey, good scores, athletic and artistic, keep the image of prodigy; and Judge also has his hands tied due to the records Sora left of abuse, having sued him previously, and winning the case, he only has the kids now cuz he's their only family left, Zeff (and everyone from the Baratie, basically) is keeping and eye on him tho.

Niji and Sanji are the ones who fight the most with Judge, Yonji and Reiju tend to keep to themselves, and Ichiji, well, he's his golden child, so extra pressure on him.

The one time he ever disobeyed his father (and was caught) was when he took Nyasha in, he convinced his siblings to help him keep the cat in secret (he had done so on his own at first) but Judge ended up finding out sooner than later, he destroyed everything Ichiji had bought the cat (along with some other Stuff that Ichiji held dear) and ended up hitting Ichiji when he jumped in to protect Nyasha from receiving Judge's violence. Reiju had to hold Niji back from jumping Judge, Sanji ran to get Zeff and Yonji went to check on Ichiji. Judge left with the threat and order "either you get rid of that thing or I'll do it myself" so they took Nyasha to Zeff, who had to be held down from going to the police ("you won't get custody, so we'll be sent to the system and separated, I rather we stay together, we just need to hang on for a little longer")

Reiju wants to take custody of her siblings once she turns 18, it will be hard but she'll be damned if she doesn't try, and well, Zeff and the Baratie staff will help and support her.

All this happens before Acechiji (ASL+1234 ) finally meet (at school).

A messy lineless sketch cuz I was running out of drawing juice

ASL & 124 meet officially thanks to Sanji getting adopted into Luffy's friend group (Reiju knew of Ace and Sabo but hadn't really interacted with them).

Ace caught Ichiji's attention before meeting though.

It doesn't take too long Acechiji to start their, lest call it courting, but it goes a snails pace because Ichiji's fears regarding Judge, which leads to a lot of mixed signals and confusion, until they finally have their little fight in the festival and Ace walks off and ends up getting the mask.

The fight being: Ichiji responds positively to his advances, not always tho, he's kind of sending mixed signals.

So they're out with their friends in the festival and, as usual, Ichiji responds positively to Ace's flirtations, to the point where Ace finally had the courage and, while they're alone on the back, ignored by the people surrounding them, Ace gives him a very brief peck on the cheek, but Ichiji responds the most negatively he has ever reacted. Suddenly very anxious (Judge may not be homophobic but he is very classist and controlling .Ichiji is worried that if Judge found out the man would just straight up send him to an abroad school or something, and Ichiji likes his life there, his siblings, Zeff and the Baratie, his friends, and well, Ace.), he covers his cheek and looks around, he scolds Ace for what he did, both blushing in embarrassment and anger.

Ace thinks that Ichiji is ashamed of him or sth, brings up the mixed signals, but Ichiji closes himself off, so Ace ends up walking off on his own, the most angry he has ever been at Ichiji, and a little heartbroken too.

That's when he meets the salesman, and puts on the mask.

Ichiji finds him because, after cooling down, he thought about everything and went to look for Ace, to maybe try and talk things out, maybe tell Ace the truth about everything, instead he finds a black kitten.

Like in the movie, Ace keeps turning into a cat to finally see all that Ichiji is hiding from him, specially since things have become awkward with Ichiji (there's some self sabotage going on on Ichiji's side and well, Ace can't simply reveal whatever little he has learnt).

Also, we will only see the mask seller twice or thrice, when he gives the mask to Ace with the time limit warning, later when he reminds him of the deal and having suggested telling Ichiji the truth and ends up taking Ace's human face as a mask, and when the time limit comes.

Nyasha takes Ace's place, he's mad at Ace and has an argument with him when Ace goes after him to get his face back ("I'll make sure to make him happy! And if I have to become you to do so, then I will! I will succeed where you failed him!") but seeing Ichiji's (and honestly all of the siblings and Baratie's) sadness and desperation at Nyasha's disappearance shows him how loved and needed he is.

The turning point of the story comes with Ace's arrival to the Vinsmoke household, seeing how they live helps Ace understand the cause of Ichiji's reluctance and mixed signals to their relationship, as well as help him grow an appreciation to his own guardians (his dad and Raleigh, after all, they do try, you know?), however is around here when the mask seller reappears and takes his face, since Ace had the brief idea that he would only be able to be with and make Ichiji happy as Spade (until the full truth of it all finally comes out and he also grows that appreciation towards his dad and his dad's boyfriend).

With the arrival of the festival, he grows desperate and goes to the other place in search of the mask seller.

Nyasha also tells Ichiji the truth and with all the changes and everything, Ichiji hardens his resolve to fight for his relationship with Ace, so he insists on going to save him. Nyasha, ofc, agrees.

They finally catch up to each other and find the mask seller to settle everything, it seems like the mask seller will let them do as they please, but he takes Ace's mask and it disappears ("But you said you needed to be 'Spade' to make him happy, didn't you? I would never let you regret turning back into a human and losing everything you have with him, leaving him on his own in that awful, awful house") the mask is hidden somewhere in the tree of life and they need to find it, there are no hints to where it could be though.

They barely managed to find it on time, but Ace is still a bit hesitant, the mask seller and Nyasha's previous words did get to him, but Ichiji finally pours his heart out to him.

They finally return together with Nyasha and everyone celebrates together, both Nyasha's reappearance and Acechiji getting together (they will help them keep their relationship secret for as long as possible).

Niji is the least happy with their union, but that's just how he is with his siblings, the mother hen.

Finally, the moment Reiju turns 18, she moves out to a place nearby that Zeff helped her get, and she both studies and works part time at the Baratie, and proceedings begin. Having saved a lot of money (and with Zeff's support, again) she gets custody of her brothers and puts a restraining order on Judge, forcing him to move to another city.

Ace also starts bonding with his dads, specially because they found out about his relationship with Ichiji and not only helped keep it secret, but also helped Reiju settle and win the court cases. They become another safe heaven for the Vinsmoke siblings.

And everyone lived happily ever after.

The end.

Plus a little scene.

He wiggled, because he needed to. It was hot under the sweater and his face was smushed against Ichiji's chest; his hearing revealed the fast beating of the redhead's heart. So he either combusted or wiggled.

"Shh, keep still"

Ace was, once again, squished against Ichiji's body. Being hidden under Ichiji's sweater as he was, his vision was very limited, but, based on what he could make out with his hearing, they had entered a house.

"What were you doing out so late?" He heard Reiju ask.

"Homework"

"Get off his ass Reiju" he heard Yonji farther away "dad's not home tonight anyway, let the guy be"

Reiju sighed.

"And Sanji?"

"He's staying at Zeff's again" answered Niji "He should just stay there forever at this point"

"Don't say that" scolded Reiju.

"Why not?" Yonji again "He's happy there, if it were me I would take the opportunity to never return, would dad even care?"

"I don't think he would even notice" followed Niji. Someone snorted.

"So dad's not coming back tonight?"

Reiju answered "there was an accident in the lab with one of Caesar's projects so he's staying the night there to try and solve it, I doubt he'll be back tomorrow"

The sweater's zipper was pulled down to reveal a brightly lit and spacious living room. Yonji and Niji sat together on the longest sofa, notebooks open on the low table in front of them. Reiju stood behind with a mug in her hands. They all turned to Ichiji, who, firmly yet gently, held Ace in his arms.

"Oh, Ichiji, no" Reiju frowned with pity "you know dad won't allow it"

"Just for tonight"

"That's what you said last time" complained Niji, his frown mirroring Reiju's.

However, Yonji stood up, face bright, and walked to his older brother. Ace slapped the approaching hand.

Yonji cooed "So cute"

Ace purred at the feeling of Ichiji scratching the back of his ear, he looked up and found a very small smile on the redhead's face, softening his expression.

"He is, he's also very friendly"

Yonji nodded and tried to join in the scratching, but Ace caught the limb in his maw. Yonji laughed.

"Do you want to play?"

Niji groaned "Oh, come on, Yonji, don't add fuel, you know the cat can't stay"

"Maybe Zeff can take him in, at least, I want to make sure he finds a nice home"

"Zeff only took Nyasha in because we had no time to find another person to take him in and it was either that or dad would get rid of him on his own" said Reiju, leaving her mug on the low table.

"And because you literally cried and begged him for hours" added Niji.

"Sanji was the one crying" Ichiji defended himself.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night. The point is, Zeff won't take in another one of your cats, not even if you, Yonji, me, Reiju or even Sanji cry and beg, that old geezer's number one priority is his restaurant"

"And Sanji" Yonji jumped in.

"Don't interrupt me, moron. So I suggest you put that back where you found it"

Ichiji clicked his tongue "mind your own business, number two"

"O-Hey-"

Ichiji walked past everyone, ignoring their calls, and took Ace to his room.

#~Roger will forever double down in laughter at the fact that his two kids ended up with Vinsmokes~#~Ace and Ichiji were a bit baffled at Sabo and Yonji getting together. Niji almost cried (declared the Gol Ds to be an enemy and danger to #but then Sanji got with Zoro and he almost fistfought the guy #Sabo and Ace are more decent options in his eyes)~#~according to Niji #only Reiju had good taste in partners~#one piece #vinsmoke ichiji #acechiji #one piece acechiji #op acechiji #portgas d ace x vinsmoke ichiji #portgas d ace #vinsmoke siblings #germa 66 #thats probably the first one piece story/au i finish #I can't promise a fic but I'll try #a whisker away au #as always zosan and yonbo (yonjixsabo) are a must for me as is lulaw but they won't be more than hinted at here #whether Reiju ends up with Tashigi or Perona is up to the reader #same with Niji ending up with anyone at all #tho I suggest Kiku and/or Yamato #but that ain't really that important for the fic so do as you please #I went with redhead Ichiji without thinking but Loopy's dark blonde Ichiji is the canon one for this au

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randomfandomdreaming · 1 year

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Clone Trooper Headcanons

Based off my experience with reality shifting so I guess they're not really headcanons lol I've met everyone except Omega, as the timeline is still pre-Order 66. Updated now that I've met (most of) the Bad Batch.

Rex

It can be hard to get him to open up when you first meet him, but once this man decides he likes having you around, it's hard to get rid of him.

Seriously. Try putting yourself in danger and he will throw himself into the line of fire, whether you're a Jedi or not.

And after you both get out of there alive, expect a lecture from him as if he were your older brother.

I can't tell you how many lectures I've gotten from this man. He really is the older brother you never knew you wanted or even had. He always means well, though. He just worries.

Fives

This man can, and will, goof off and give you sarcastic comments.

Rex has actively said that Fives is going to be the death of him someday.

He makes it his mission to annoy Rex as much as possible, but also knows when and where to do it. If things go south, you'd think you're suddenly standing next to Cody with how fast his attitude changes.

I once had to do a double-take with how fast he switched from goofy to serious. That was not a very fun day. We scrapped a lot of clankers though.

Echo

This man just wants some peace and quiet every so often.

Don't underestimate his quietness, however. He will throw a punch at someone if he has to.

Sometimes it's Fives on the receiving end and Echo does it just for fun.

He's also fascinated with far off galaxies, especially if they're vastly different from the one he's from. It's nice to sit and read with him, too. He loves real discussions, not debates.

Update to Echo: He's still as chaotic as he was before. He's definitely loosened up a lot more, especially on regulations. He and Wrecker seem to be close since they were feeding off each other about naming the moon we crashed on.

Cody

Don't do anything that breaks protocol. Just don't. At least not around him.

He will have you neck-deep in paperwork and other assignments if he catches you.

He's loosened up a bit, but not much. Fives always reminds him to, though.

I've got nothing. I've tried, Fives has tried, even Rex has. This man loves protocol and won't be separated from it. We've joked before about him one day marrying it. That was the day I found out just how much datawork there really is in the Grand Army of the Republic. Did that stop us? Never.

Tech

If someone were to show genuine interest in the information he spews, he'd be riding the high of seeing his brothers proved wrong for weeks, months even.

And this man can talk.

He would randomly spew out facts if said person was around, not even needing any cue that he was heard.

This man has tattoos. He knows what he's doing regarding them, too. He's done Hunter's tattoos, as well as Crosshair's. He can definitely talk. We spent so much time just talking about random things. I think he was happy to have someone to talk to, honestly. He doesn't randomly give out facts often, but he learns very quickly what someone is interested in and bases his randomly given facts on that. He told me that during our half a rotation's worth of time conversation we had because I asked him how he felt about randomly giving out facts.

Crosshair

Getting through to him would take a miracle. He's a hard nut to crack.

If he thinks you're useful to the team at all, he'd at least tolerate you.

Spend enough time around him and his brothers, he may even pick on you like he does with the others.

Even though he came to sit with us by the fire, that was literally as far as we got. He went right back to being a loner, but that's okay. So, he's definitely not the easiest to get along with (especially with the rocky introductions we had with each other), but it's not impossible to do it. For everything else, I have no idea yet lol

Hunter

He knows more about you than anyone around before you even open your mouth.

He could even tell whether you're Force-sensitive or not.

This man is incredible and everyone forgets just how good his senses actually are until he actively needs to use them.

I learned a lot about Hunter while on our hunting trip. This man might as well be Force sensitive with how good his senses are. During the actual hunts, we didn't need to speak, only needed to rely on our senses. He works incredibly well with Jedi. It's amazing.

Wrecker

If you even just casually mention that there's the smallest possiblity you like to blow things up, you've just gained a new best friend.

If you give him something to blow up on top of that, he won't let you sit out on it. He'd have both of you press the button at the same time.

Literally would have his finger on one half, yours on the other.

Nobody tell Wrecker that I'm planning to find and secure explosives on our next mission together that he will 100% get to use. I'm serious. No one tell him.

Bonus!

Omega

She'd probably be the first to befriend you. Let's be real.

She'd want to show you her room on the Marauder and would be excited the entire time.

She'd probably be extremely happy to know someone who doesn't see them as just clones. She'd be even happier if you became part of their little dysfunctional family, whether they see you a lot or not.

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rollinouttahere-writes · 5 months

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So like when Lizard is an adult and has a kid with Koby will Crocodile accept the kid but completely and utterly act like Koby is non existent and his daughter just asexually had a baby?

Crocodile is that in law that fawns over their child and grandchildren but HATES the person they're married to. He never comes around to liking Koby, but he begrudgingly acknowledges that getting rid of him now would harm Lizard so he gets to live another day.

By the time Lizard and Koby are old enough to be starting a family, Lizard and Crocodile's relationship will be pretty solid. They're both past the point of angsting by themselves and have talked things out enough to have a normal and happy father-daughter relationship at least as normal as it can be for them

Pregnancy talk below here

Crocodile is going to be praying that they only adopt. While he never much cared about the fact that Lizard's mother, Akila, died from birth complications before, he really does now. It doesn't matter if every doctor on the planet tells him that such a thing isn't hereditary, he's terrified of his daughter suffering the same fate.

But let's say that she does take that route

Crocodile feels like he's on the verge of having a stroke for the entire duration of the pregnancy. He's also being weirdly civil towards Koby, at least when Lizard is in the room. Koby mistakes this for a bonding opportunity only to get humbled violently when Crocodile tells him that he's only playing nice to avoid stressing Lizard. If she doesn't make it he's killing Koby and taking the baby.

Koby doesn't broach the topic again.

Fortunately, Crocodile does knows what to expect during a pregnancy both from when Akila was still around, and also his own with Luffy. Things like weird cravings, morning sickness, and the general discomfort of the process come naturally to him and he's eager to step up to the plate while shoving Koby off of it

All of a sudden he "just so happened" to relocate nearby and is basically a constant presence. Lizard thinks it's a bit much, but she also understands why he's worried so she doesn't call him out. She's a little concerned herself if she's being honest.

The birth is stressful. Only the best of the best doctors are allowed to aid in the delivery and it is made known that they won't be leaving here alive if Lizard doesn't. Crocodile is so anxious that he's pacing constantly and smoking three cigars at once but gets snippy if anyone comments on it.

Everything does go well, and Lizard has to tell Crocodile to wait his damn turn to hold the baby when he tries to hold them before Koby even gets a chance to.

He already knew he was going to spoil the hell out of his grandchild, holding them only cements it further. The love is instant and intense. Not quite as much as it was for Lizard when he held her, but a very close second. And of course, he's already contemplating which of his bananawani he should breed to get the best possible offspring to gift to his beloved grandchild.

#strays au #crocodad series #sir crocodile #koby one piece #tw pregnancy #tw childbirth #yanderefangirl

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trashlie · 10 months

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hey this is lil anon again :3 listen we're all so feral about the latest fp episode can i just talk about it some more please and dump my thoughts here bc oh my god so many thoughts 🙏🏾 you can leave my other, longer ask in your inbox for now if you want to it's totally fine bc sdhfgdhfjksdhfk FERAL

PLEASE it is actually soooo funny how maya asks such a simple question: "why is he your friend?" - and shinae just explodes and goes off at the him in her head HISS GROWL I WANT YOU AND IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU THEN YOU'RE NOT GONNA HAVE ANYTHING OF MINE and maya just stares at her in shock and disbelief like: 😶😶😶. and you are ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. how can she possibly put nol and what he means to her and what she feels for him into words??? something something if i loved you less i might be able to talk about it more. shinae is so intense and bold and fiery I LOVE THAT SOOOOOO MUCH and tbh compared to shinae, nol is handling his feelings like a champ actually 😹 like at least the tiger hasn't bitten anyone (yet) LMAOOOOOOO he's been holding back a lot, trying his best to stay composed, mortified by his desire to kiss her because how dare he even *think* about that. it's the same intensity, the same feelings at the same time but he's very in his head, meanwhile shinae - the feral little cat - is just completely unhinged and off the rails. it's incredible. poor girl, all these new feelings and realizations hitting her all at once and she's understandably SO ANGRY that she can NOT control it and go back to normal, that he's making her such a mess, passed out on the bed bc it was all too much for her to handle.

you know, before 235 i thought their meeting would be… on the soft/sweet/wholesome(?) side bc of the new shyness and nervousness and vulnerability that comes with these realizations, maybe a through the door conversation without directly facing each other (like i mentioned in my longer ask), but we've kinda had that with the balcony "you're special to me" scene, right. so idk maybe shinae will just storm in there a fiery raging whirlwind of emotions and be all like how DARE you steal my heart and then try to get rid of me and run away, you asshole. IF YOU WON'T GIVE ME BACK MY HEART, THEN I NEED YOU TO BE MINE!!!!! it sounds so dramatic but seeing what all this is doing to shinae, how it brings out the fiery bold possessive assertive side in her, who knows??? she's for sure not letting go without leaving her claw marks on him. as she should.

and YES YES it's def both jealousy and insecurity. i didn't expect it to come up as part of her realization simply bc it wasn't on my mind tbh, but it works so well as part of the ✨realization process✨!! if just platonic then you don't get jealous and insecure, then it (typically) doesn't matter if/who they're dating. but if you can't stomach them being with anyone else but you, if you want them all to yourself, then sorry but that is NOT "friends". and there's definitely a comment here to be made about how alyssa isn't just some random hot girl, she's an idol and as such she embodies what's conventionally attractive and desirable, smth smth beauty standards patriarchy society. and she leaves nol cold but shinae still can't help but become hyperaware of it all bc everything you said ;; i can't get over the "timing" of this scene either bc we see shinae crying happy tears and for a moment she's forgotten her drama but then BAM suddenly there's gorgeous glamorous idol alyssa dancing on stage, and nol is there, looking at her, and they're both at this elite event in this world that shinae is simply not a part of. and. smth smth alyssa being a good dancer nol being a good dancer meanwhile shinae has two left feet. it's like the universe is laughing at her, telling her "she is all that and you aren't, she can have him and you don't". and as if it's not enough, of course it's the girl who gave her all this trauma. of course. how can it not sting her how can she not become insecure honestly ;; i too would immediately lose my appetite :<

(there's also the juxtaposition of shinae being surrounded by unconditional love, a supportive family, in a peaceful home where she can be raw and messy, fully accepted as she is, bags under her eyes and snot on her face and all; meanwhile alyssa is all glammed up, on the tv screen, putting on a performance for strangers that will only ever love her conditionally, that will never know the real her, is in a group that doesn't like her, is in an unsafe environment, surrounded by people who prey on girls like her, no one by her side 😔💔) i also wonder a little bit if not nol himself could (unintentionally of course) play into shinae's insecurity… especially in this initial stage bc like. he's a conventionally attractive dude; tall, handsome, nice smile, he's charming, he's got a rich dad too. shinae isn't stupid she's very aware of this. she's noticed how women reacted to him at the formal. one of them even commented that "he's way out of her league" or smth like that when she saw them together (which :/// shallow rich people talk 🙄)… and when it's friendship then you don't care, and she didn't care back then, and rationally she knows nol is not shallow like that, that she really shouldn't worry about such things, but when you're so young, inexperienced, have low self-esteem, are in such an emotional state, then suddenly you start questioning yourself on this shallow level. why would someone with his looks and money be interested in me, when he could have (and does have) an "alyssa-level" girl? sure he might like me as a friend but would he ever want me like that? it's like when you're crushing on the hot guy you've been friendly with and suddenly become all too aware of the hot girl that all the boys (and girls) have their eyes on. you just can't help but be aware that you're simply not her :/ yeah i think. she's going to need affirmation and reassurance re: what alyssa is/was to him, but i think more importantly, she'd need it about herself, what he likes about her, how he feels about her, that he doesn't want anyone else, that she *is* beautiful in her own way even if she doesn't see it herself, and then she'll hopefully grow more confident from it ~

-feral lil anon 😼

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'm so sorry it took me all day to get to this response! I could NOT pull my brain together and kept getting distracted and having more feral breakdowns about Stalkyoo alfkajkfjkafjkafjka lmao and then I had to cry about my babies performing tonight and I have been through EMOTIONS but also ALSO I LOVE THIS MESSAGE SO MUCH I'm gonna do my best to do it justice because you ABSOLUTELY bring up things I also want to yell more about!!!!

There's something SO funny to me about how much Nol and Shinae mirror each other. That we now can tell they started to fall for each other at the same time and it just kept growing, that it's on the SAME DAY that they're becoming aware of these feelings, in much the same way - yknow, being so embarrassed to have FEELINGS lmao. But YES Nol does a much better job containing it at all. I want to say it's probably because he's so used to hiding everything, holding things in, but we also know he came so very close to just biting Shinae before he kicked her out lmao and it's not like Shinae hasn't also been decent at pretending things aren't wrong, but MAN she's so beyond her breaking point at this stage, isn't she lmaooooooo She CAN'T contain it - it's too big, too loud, too messy, so carnal. She's been trying for so long to keep shoving it into this box it doesn't fit and it just keeps growing bigger and bigger and spilling out. Something so funny to me about her is that Shinae.... like she kinda externalizes a lot and I'm trying to figure out how to explain this because clearly she isn't good at telling people about her problems, but as a result of being alone so much she talks through her thoughts out loud, to Lil Buddy, so of course for this she NEEDED to externalize to Maya. Because yes, it's so messy, it's spilling out everywhere and the more she tries to make sense of it the bigger a mess she makes and Maya really DID have to put it in words for her. I know I said I wanted Shinae to come to the conclusion without anyone else saying it but I still love how this played out because she still said, OF HER OWN FREE WILL, "If I can't have you" LIKE GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But also we know that Shinae just has an EFFECT on Nol and while he's doing a good job keeping things at bay, all things considered, I think the moment she goes back to his hospital room it's all gonna just be.... *sweeps papers off the desk* lmao

Another tangential thought I've had is that neither of them have really gotten to BE teenagers. Nol is forever having to play a game of making sure he doesn't make too many waves, doesn't get noticed. Likewise, Shinae has had to be the good girl while her dad is always busy working, not get into trouble, take care of herself, get good grades. Maya goes on to remind us, too, that Shinae didn't even HAVE any social experiences beyond what happened in middle school, just. Rolls with things stopped making friends. There's so many teenager moody things that they've largely missed out on and we're seeing so much of that come bubbling out. Yes, Shinae's moodiness is mostly because girl is CRANKY she hasn't slept she hasn't eaten and she's scaling the walls trying to figure out why she thinks her friend is pushing her away (he's not) and what she has to do to make him stay (figure out feelings) and she's just SO frustrated it all spills out. Relatable. I, too, become an awful monster when I haven't slept LMAO but it's just SO nice to see them have this moment? Get to be selfish and moody and a little bratty when they have spent so long trying to just be good and get by. Let them have a tantrum or three, it's fine!

Also LITERALLY SAME. I thought Shinae would realize her feelings, maybe balk at them, hide away for a day, try to deny them, then become determined and go back to him but too shy to look him in the eyes to face him, yes maybe talk through the door so this was SUCH a surprise but YEAH YOU ARE RIGHT! They already had that tender shy little moment. Now they can just be. Feral lmaooooooo listen idc how corny it is I'm exploring EVERY possibility I can, writing half-baked fic moments in my head. I want Shinae to wake up and go in guns BLAZING I want her to say dumb things she doesn't stop to think about FINE IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY OF MY THINGS what are you talking about I SAID YOU'RE A THIEF AND THAT'S WHY YOU'RE GOING TO PRISON GIVE ME BACK MY THINGS something something there's one thing he can't give back something something you're a thief, too alkfjkfjFKAFKJAKJF SCREAMS I need Nol to just say something SO blunt that makes her stop in her tracks aljakfjkafjafjk lmao I need her confessing in every which way but the words again, until he's standing too close SCREAMS

idk idk idk however it goes I know I'm going to love it because they just are going at it with such equal energy and I'm PRETTY SURE Dieter is going to talk to Nol while Shinae sleeps so maybe that will give Nol the conviction to say what he couldn't, now that Shinae has figured out the answer to "why isn't because friends" enough. Actually, more than anything, I want Nol to end up in the kind of position where he blurts something out without thinking or he acts on his feelings just BLINDLY because I just need him to see that he can't keep running from things and pretending and that Shinae is someone he cannot resist so make the right choices, boy. I need him to understand how much he wants her and deserves to ACT ON THAT ALFJKAFLJAFAJFLKJAFJF RRRRRRRRR FRRTFTT GROWL HISSSSSSSSS

but alfjakfjkfajfka THE INSECURITIES GET TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE because YES at the end of the day it's not just anyone. It's ALYSSA. The very person who gave Shinae her trauma, the person who GAVE HER HER ACTUAL SCAR. It's not the first time Shinae has envied something of Alyssa, either - Alyssa with her warm, beautiful mom and her big home and all her opportunities and her family so suffocating by being parents, Alyssa with her many talents with her intelligence. I really REALLY like the point, too, that it's not just Nol looking at Nol, it's Nol at that party in a world that Shinae is not a part of, doesn't belong to. Logic doesn't stand much against insecurity and jealousy or else she'd be able to remind her that Nol doesn't much like the world he technically belongs to, that Alyssa doesn't make him happy. Somewhere in her jealousy she sees the way she measures to Alyssa in these shallow ways and it hurts to come up short like that! AND RIGHT the girls at the gala saying Nol is out of her league! Shinae is like... aware that Nol is handsome (she literally said VERY handsome) but most of the time it doesn't seem to be a thing she thinks about - mostly because she hasn't really openly thought about him in a romantic way. But now that she's got these feral feelings about trying to keep him and have him and know him and see all the parts of him that he hides from her, she's facing the reality of how she looks to others, compared to him, compared to Alyssa. Sangchul has even implied it a couple times - Nol has a hot idol girlfriend so what is it about Shinae that's so special why is he hung up on her, what does she do that can possibly be better than a hot idol girlfriend.

And if there's something I love it, it's the tender unfurling petals of first love and the insecurity and jealousy that blooms with it, that ache that you aren't good enough that you can't possibly compare, because it leads to the REASSURANCES. Nol has SO many reasons to prefer Shinae, so many reasons to have fallen for her. I REALLY feel like we'll have a callback to that day Shinae asked Nol why Dieter might like to date her, when he told her he has a couple reasons in mind. Like... self consciousness and feeling inadequate is an awful feeling but I LOVE how it can be used in text, because also right: IF PLATONIC WHY FEEL LIKE THIS? Jealousy can be a useful device when it's not toxic and in this case it's someone like Shinae who has never really been made to feel like she's special, who has never seen anything in herself, realizing that she has fallen SO HARD for her friend who has a bombshell girlfriend and is super handsome and himself and comes from this elite world of affluent people. But there's also so much Shinae doesn't know about him yet, either, so much she hasn't had a chance to digest about him. She's seeing things at face value but I need him to tell her to her face that she makes him feel a kind of peace that NOTHING else does, that he cannot help but gravitate to her, that she's LITERALLY made his life worth living. Remind her that even though he was trying to avoid her, he failed SO miserably. Nol didn't get to tell Shinae at the party what he likes about her and DAMNIT I WANT TO HEAR IT!!!!!!!!! Especially because we've seen Shinae's POV of him at this poignant moments, I want to hear from Nol's mouth what he likes about her, the way he sees her. Like her, does he feel like clouds part when she's near, does she make all of the noise quiet for the moment? Does he find himself wanting her to notice more, wanting to steal more of those private moments where they open to each other?

I WANT TO HEAR IT SO BADLYYYYYYYYYYY and I want her to know that she doesn't have to compare herself to Alyssa, that there's no one in that world who has ever caught his attention the way she has. That no amount of money could make anyone from that society better than her. That it's not about any of that - it's about what she makes him feel. Just as much as Nol has had such an impact on Shinae, we've seen it in Nol. I agree that it's far too soon for her to know that he's literally still alive because of her lmao (that's just so much it's so overwhelming!!!!) but there are other ways she's impacted his life. When he told her he really hoped she'd get the job working with them, I think he meant it. Life was more interesting with her in it, he wanted to be around her more before Yui reminded him of what she does.

Like idk to me that insecurity is such a quintessential aspect of puberty and teenage years and first love. That rush of trying to see how others perceive you and the reassurance that comes from the person you like? GOD. And especially for people like Nol and Shinae, who have felt so invisible, so underappreciated, who have never really been made to feel special, having this with each other just LKFJAJKFJAFKAFKAFJLJAFLKJFKf

Also don't think I haven't forgotten about Yujing complimenting Shinae, or that moment when Nol made her laugh during her dance with Kousuke. How he was literally right in her face doing her make up and how it just augmented how pretty she already is. While I don't think he probably has that conscious thinking of it - gee golly Shinae sure is pretty because you know.... *gestures vaguely at his life* i SO BADLY want him to tell her that ;A; that she's beautiful ;A; like to be fair I think something about Stalkyoo that is SO well done is that it's all so deeply based on connection and the way those feelings developed as a result, as opposed to attraction first, but especially in the light of Shinae feeling so jealous and insecure, I want him to saaaaayyyyyyyy iiiiiiiiiiiiit. I want him to tell her how pretty she is when she laughs and lights up, what a beautiful smile she has and that he wants to be the one who makes her smile more I WANT THE CHEESY FUCKING SHIT DAMNIT I DON'T CARE I'M NOT GONNA PRETEND OTHERWISE ALKJAKFJKAFKJAFJKAFAFKJLKJAF SCALES THE WALL SCURRIES ACROSS MY CEILING AND STARTS CHEWING THROUGH MY CEILING FAN

I want him to reassure that there is not ONE way she pales against someone like Alyssa, that she is worth so much more to him ;A; howls

I WANT HIM TO TOUC HER FACE WITH HIS BIG STUPID HANDS AND BRUSH HIS THUMB ACROSS HER CHEEK AGAIN AND CONFESS THAT HE IS SO MISERABLY INCAPABLE OF RESISTING HER AND THAT NO ONE ELSE COULD POSSIBLY COMPARE BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE HAS EVER MADE HIM FEEL SO SEEN, FEEL LIKE HE MATTERS, NO ONE ELSE HAS EVER MADE HIM WANT TO BREAK HIS OWN RULES

JUST SCREAMING INTO THE NIGHT

also ;A;

tHAT SHIT HURTED THAT SHIT HURTED ;____________;

Alyssa my tragic, messy girl ;A; I can't help but love the tragedy of her, I can't help but be so invested. The way Shinae and Alyssa have been foiled against each other and how I know we will continue to see this. There's something about... yknow like Alyssa doesn't have FEELINGS for Nol, but I think Nol going from Alyssa to Shinae is SO poignant in a painful way. Alyssa's former crush!!!!! I think in much the same way as we're going to see Nol become all the things Kousuke feared, we're going to see that in Alyssa and Shinae. Like... imagine being Alyssa and watching someone like Shinae capture Nol's attention, capture Yui's attention, capture Kousuke's attention. It's because she's so sincere and faces confrontation head on that people take notice of her, but that's something Alyssa has never really been able to learn. She puts on a brave face like Shinae told her, but she can't do the rest of it. She's so terrified of this secret she holds, of what she is and what people will think of her, and she continues to put on a persona to keep it at bay. Meanwhile I think we're going to watch Shinae walk a path Alyssa never could - find her own success by being authentic and true to herself, not having to live in that shell, that mask. Shinae will do everything Alyssa has never been able to do. ;_______;

And yeah, that juxtaposition makes Shinae's insecurity all the more intriguing to explore because she's so insecure about these shallow things, but Alyssa is insecure about the things that DO matter, the things that make Shinae special, and make Alyssa so forgettable.

;_____________________________________;

gonna go sob now HECK

#I Love Yoo #ILY Brainrot #ILY FP #ILY Spoilers #Lil Anon #ILY Anon #Stalkyoo #Aegi #Shiae Yoo #Nolan Oliver T. Lochlainn #Alyssa Cho #GODDDDDDD i have so very many feeeeeliiiiiingggssssssssss #about Stalkyoo #about Alyssa #about Alyssa and Shinae foils #but i have cried so much tonight (LMAO I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS TODAY) so I'm gonna just focus on feral cat Shinae and Nol #and how desperately I NEED Nol to tell Shinae all of the things he likes about her as he moves closer and closer until he reaches the last #point and also her mouth #LKFJFAJAJFJAFKAJFJKAFJKAFKJAKJA #I CANNOT BE CONTAINED I'M SORRY NOT SORRY AT ALL #NOL USE YOUR WORDS BUT ALSO YOUR MOUTH IF U KNOW WHAT I MEAN #CONVINCE HER #ALL THOSE THINGS THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN IN THIS ROOM DRAWINGS ON PATREON JUST HAUNT ME EVERY NIGHT #I CLOSE MY EYES AND I GO 'BUT WHAT IF'#WHAT IF HIS BIG HAND CUPS HER FACE THREADS HIS FINGERS INTO HER HAIR THE NAPE OF HER NECK THUMB DRAWS ACROSS HER CHEEK #WHAT IF HE LOSES HIS COMPOSURE WHAT IF HIS BRAIN JUST SHUTS OFF AND IT'S NOTHING BUT CARNAL FERAL WANT UNLEASHED AFTER BEING PENT UP SO LON #HUH? WHAT IF?!#SHRIEKS

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