#but there will always be some people acting in ignorance or malice | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mooshywrites · 2 months

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hi there~! if its not too much trouble, can I request a halsin x reader fic where reader/tav falls in battle fails a saving throw and requires a revivify? either pre-established relationship in Act 2 or established in act 3 would be okay~ i just love comforting and protective Halsin 🥺

Revivify

Reader x Halsin

Masterlist

Art commissions

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A/N - such a wonderful prompt, I almost cried at the request ;~;

Warnings - Minor spoilers, combat, blood, death and reviving, injury, angst

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“I almost lost you.”

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Sun filtered through leaves casting a dappled blanket over the soft grass under your feet. you took in a deep breath, inhaling the soft scent of flowers and damp soil. There wasn’t many moments on this journey that you could take this kind of pause. To remember the tranquility the world could offer.

It had been a few days since you and your party had reached Lower Baldur’s Gate. A few very long days. Between trying to find the origin behind the smattering of murders, gathering allies in your fight against the Elder Brain, and typical strange happenings that followed your companions like no other, you hadn’t had time to breathe let alone relax.

Halsin gave you a knowing smile as he stood along side you in the garden, his shoulders looking much more relaxed than they had been in weeks.

“Nature seems to always find a way to remind you of her beauty,” he murmured.

You looked around the garden once more, taking in the sereneness. In the distance, a gentle breeze rustled the leaves of the seemingly ancient trees, carrying with it the faint sound of conversation. You turned to see couples walking through the pathways, just as at peace with the world as you were.

“We can’t let ourself be lulled into complacency,” you sighed, your jaw becoming tense with focus yet again. “We’re up against some nasty people. We must be vigilant at all times.”

“Who would try to kill us in a city garden of all places, my heart?” Halsin asked, giving you pitying stare.

You avoided his gaze. As much as you longed for moments of peace like this, moments you could share with him, you knew the ever looming threat couldn’t be ignored.

“Even if,” Halsin continued. “We could handle ourselves in any-“

His words were cut off by a scream across the clearing, blood curdling and insistent. Your attention snapped to the source, your heartbeat quickening instantly. There stood a group of hooded figures, standing over a now silent body.

You tensed yourself, ready for attacks as more cloaked figures began to appear around you. You shot Halsin a look, checking around you to see if your other party members were ready for what looked like to be quite the difficult fight.

Without a moment of hesitation, you drew your weapon and took a defensive stance. Halsin was quick to follow, his expression determined. The air crackled with tension as the hooded figures stalked around you silently, their movements precise and almost synchronized.

As the first attacker lunged toward you with a gleaming dagger, you parried the blow expertly, feeling the impact reverberate up your arm. The fight had begun in earnest now, with spells flying and steel clashing against steel. You could hear your companions engaging in combat around you, their grunts and battle cries mixing with the chaotic symphony of violence unfolding in the garden.

Adrenaline surged through your veins as you focused on each opponent, their faces shadowed by the cloak. The shroud did nothing to hide the pure and pointed murderous malice in their eyes. Halsin fought beside you, wild-shaping as soon as the fight began. Even in the form of a large bear, his movements were calculated, precise.

One by one, the hooded figures fell before your party, their attacks repelled and countered with lethal force. You had taken a few blows, ones you knew would leave you quite sore when this was all over. Your muscles were beginning to burn with exertion, your voice raw as you threw your entire body weight behind your attacks.

Just as you thought victory was in reach, a movement in the corner of your eye caught your attention. Halsin had been hit hard enough to pull him back into his elvish form, the Druid panting as he fought two of the cultists. Nervousness rose through your chest quickly, worried he wouldn’t be able to handle the both of them.

Thankfully, he made quick work of one, turning to look to you amidst the chaos. His mouth moved in words you couldn’t hear, his expression suddenly panicked. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. The only cultist left was the one in front of him. Then why was he looking at you as if he had seen a ghost? It took a moment to realize he wasn’t looking at you. He was looking behind you.

It took you a moment too long.

Blood pumped loudly in your ear as you began to turn, time seeming to slow when the shrouded figure came into your view. You brought up your weapon, your arms heavy as if they were pushing through water.

It was too late.

You felt something impact your side, the cultist smiling devilishly at you. You stumbled back, your brain fogging over slightly. You felt no pain, only a growing chill just below your ribs. You looked down to see the dagger pierced through your armor, blood dripping off of its handle.

Your blood.

Your vision began to blur, darkness creeping into the edge of your vision. Numbly, you clutched at the dagger, trying to contain the blood you were losing.

Your heart pounded as you tried to focus your eyes in front of you, looking around in a haze. You could hear Halsin’s voice, though it sounded miles in the distance. You could tell he was still fighting off the remaining enemy, the clashing of metal and grunts making their way through your disoriented state.

The world spun around you, and you fell raggedly to your knees, your grip on the dagger slipping. The wound in your side felt as if it were swallowing you whole, the ice cold chill spreading as you lost more blood.

You looked around, desperate for a way to survive, to continue fighting. But the air around you seemed thick with the scent of death, your healing potions long since depleted. You could feel your breath growing shallow, your throat tightening with every painful gasp.

Most of all, you felt tired. So incredibly tired. The ground beckoned to you like the world’s most comfortable goosedown bed, begging you to give in to sleep.

As your vision darkened completely, the last thing you heard was Halsin screaming your name.

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Everything was dim for what seemed like an eternity, a comfortable silence enveloping you. It felt as if you were asleep, the deepest sleep you had ever had. Your wound no longer stung, the air no longer drenched with the smell of blood.

Absentmindedly, you wondered if you were supposed to be sad in this moment. It was hard to feel any kind of grief in a place so comforting. So quiet. You couldn’t even remember what could have made you sad in the first place.

A light flickered in the corner of the emptiness, rousing you from your contemplation. You stared at it, watching it glow brighter and more insistent. You brought your hand up, shielding your eyes from the blinding radiance.

Suddenly it felt as if you were falling, hurtling through the empty darkness. The light seemed to stretch endlessly towards you, a beacon in an endless abyss. As you plummeted towards it, the darkness around you began morphing into the shapes of trees and stones.

Forcefully you hit the ground, your breath knocked out of your lungs.

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You awoke with a start, your eyes opening back in the blood soaked garden. You took in ragged breaths, the red hot pain burning at your side causing you to cry out.

“Hold on, my heart,” a pained voice whispered against you, a warm green glow coming from their hands as they held you.

Through the blurred tears in your eyes, you could see Halsin holding you tightly, a smoldering scroll next to him. Your memory came back to you in pieces. The fight, the dagger.

The darkness.

“Did I die?” you asked incredulously, your voice like knives through your throat.

Halsin’s eyes squeezed shut as he continued his healing spell, his mouth in a tight line. “Yes,” he answered, his voice barely audible. “I had a revivify scroll, thank Silvans.”

Your heart clenched in your chest at the words. The remaining terror in his voice left you unable to speak.

Halsin continued to heal you, his focus unwavering. You tried to speak, but the problem wasn’t the rawness in your throat, you mostly just couldn’t find the words to say.

You had quite literally been dead. Worst of all, Halsin had watched you fall.

When he finally finished, you breathed a sigh of relief. The pain in your side was gone completely, the warmth of your blood returning to the wound. You snuck a glance up at Halsin as he looked down at you, his expression pained.

“I… I’m sorry,” you managed to choke out, the words catching on your tears.

Halsin clutched you tighter, his eyes filled with a mix of relief and horror. “No, I’m sorry, my heart,” he whispered, his voice trembling. “I should have been there for you. I never should have let that happen.“

You reached up and placed a hand on his cheek, feeling your heart tug at the thought of how scared he must have been. “We were all in that fight together Halsin,” you said softly. “This isn’t your fault.”

He shook his head, his eyes filling with tears before he buried his face in the crook of your neck. You held him close, feeling a sob catch in his throat.

“I almost lost you,” he broke.

The weight of his words lingered heavy between the two of you as you held the large Druid, the gravity of what had happened sinking in. The reality of your mortality felt even more tangible than ever before, a chill running down your spine at the close encounter with death. Halsin’s arms holding you so desperately was both a comfort and a stark reminder of how fragile your lives truly were in this dangerous world.

“I’m here, Halsin,” you assured him.

The Druid began to catch his breath, pulling back and giving you a weak smile.

“I know,” he murmured, his voice still strained from the tightness of his emotions. “I’m not letting you go ever again.”

You couldn’t help but giggle, craving a little levity in the situation. “You can’t keep me in your arms forever.”

Halsin’s face softened at your light heartedness, his hazel eyes twinkling with affection. He gently combed his fingers through your hair, tracing the line of your jaw with his thumb.

“I’ll have to resort to locking you up then,” he quipped, a playful smirk tugging at his lips.

You allowed yourself another breathless laugh, the tension in the air finally starting to dissipate. You nuzzled closer to the Druid’s chest, willing yourself to relax.

You were here, you were alive.

Halsin had saved you.

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cleoluvrr · 6 months

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Call Me (Rafe Cameron x Reader) I

SYNOPSIS: call someone else if you want that.

WARNINGS: mature content; secret relationship, verbal abuse, jealousy, general violence, manipulative behavior, explicit language, substance abuse & addiction, obsession, depiction of explicit sexual acts

masterlist

rafe always had a meanness to him, one that you’d never been oblivious to, though never really on the receiving end of it at first. the two of you would have petty banter, little arguments that would eventually reveal the underlying tension between you, but it was nothing more than that.

with others, however, you’d seen him be cruel–beyond cruel. your middle sister, just a couple years your junior, was friends with kiara carrera and those other boys she hangs out with by association. you’d heard the stories of his behavior, and while it may make you a terrible person, you really didn’t care. his business with them wasn’t yours, and you weren’t close enough to rafe to confront him about it. she’s never said he’s done anything to her directly, so what could you really do about it? it’s not like she knew you two even talked in the first place, so it was out of your hands.

maybe it was because of his strained relationship with his father, or the lack of relationship with his mother. it could be just how he is naturally; you wouldn’t be surprised.

however, you began to become a victim of his malice yourself at some point last year. you two weren’t particularly nice to each other, but there was something different this time. it used to be playful, but this time it was purposeful; at least it was on his end.

sure, rafe isn’t the most rational person in the world, but the amount of anger and frustration he was taking out on the girl he was secretly fucking was completely out of proportion.

you asked him more times than i can remember; begging him to tell you what was wrong. even when you should have been mad at him for treating you like some bitch off the street, you simply couldn’t ignore the feeling of something being wrong with him. maybe you caught feelings for him and that’s why you cared so much, even when you shouldn’t have.

it was around the time you sister started staying out later, riding around town with her friends and stirring up trouble like she had no home-training. you were positive rafe had something to do with it, but never said anything about it. it wasn’t like he was answering your calls at the time anyway.

eventually, you just stopped talking. maybe it was inevitable, a natural occurrence from lack of mutual communication.

so when you saw him just a few dozen yards away for the first time in months, you weren’t sure how to feel.

you watch as he takes each drink to the head, shot after shot from across the room. his blonde hair that would have once been blocking his vision was now cropped short and barely visible from where you stood. the people around him encouraged the behavior, cheering him on every time he slammed the bottom of a shot glass back on the table.

he looked deceptively sober, but his body language was all the evidence you needed to know he had more than a bump of the cocaine some girl brought to the party. his alcohol tolerance was way stronger than everyone around him, the sloppiness of his friends completely opposite of his nonchalant demeanor.

that was one of many differences between the two of you. he liked to drink, get high, and do things that were far past the limits of legality that only someone with money and influence like him could get away with. you hated the feeling of losing control, of not being completely aware of what was happening around you, and would even never think of doing a fraction of the things he does.

yet, for some reason that you could never figure out, he piqued your interest.

maybe it was because he was “bad,” and you were “good.” maybe it was his roughness that attracted you, or the way he did whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. rafe’s instability contrasted everything about you; it gave you a rush that you’ve never felt with anyone else.

“what are you looking at?”

you’re pulled out of the one-sided staring contest, the sound of your friend’s voice capturing your attention over the loud music.

“what?” you said. you leaned down towards the shorter blond, ear in better reach of her voice.

“what are you looking at?” she repeats louder this time. her breath smells of alcohol, the pink whitney sitting in the bottom of her cup the clear cause of her slight swaying.

your eyes flicker back to the boy across the room for a moment, the sight of him leaning down to snort a white substance from the table beneath him making you cringe to yourself. your friend’s eyes follow yours, the green irises further revealed by the widening of her eyes.

“rafe cameron?” she says quite loudly, her voice carrying around the area as other people nearby turn to look at her in annoyance. “why the hell are you staring at rafe cameron?”

“say it louder, why don’t you? i don’t think russia could hear you.” your eyes tear away from him and return them to your scantily clad friend. “jesus christ, misty. you are so drunk.”

“you should try it some time.” she giggles, arm raising her cup in a cheer. you rolled your eyes at her and raised your own drink to your lips, the taste of cool water refreshing on your tongue.

your experience with alcohol is slim by choice. the idea of not being in total control of yourself makes you more than uncomfortable, and the taste of the beverage did not appeal to you. you knew how to have a good time without the aid of alcohol or drugs.

“i’ll pass…” you say with a breathy chuckle. you pulled out your phone to check the time, the dark of the night beginning to drag on into the earliest hours of the morning. you were sure if you stayed out any longer your parents would send a search group.

the party hadn’t been much fun to me anyways, the celebration of your friend’s recent graduation not doing much to keep me entertained.

your gaze returns to the spot where rafe stood only to be met with nothing, the boy nowhere to be found in your brief sweep of the area. you look around the party from where you stood, head swiveling to find the blonde amongst the gaggle of kooks in the room. he has seemingly vanished into thin air despite being the most noticeable person in the place.

“hey, um…” you trailed off, head turning back to face a drunk misty. “i need to get home. are you ready to go?”

the girl shakes her head, finger pointing behind her to the familiar figure of her boyfriend. he was watching her closely, clearly on edge as his inebriated girlfriend consumed enough liquor to take down a grown man.

“jordan is taking me home with him.” she giggles again, eyebrows wiggling suggestively. you were sure he’d have her tucked into bed within the next two hours, whatever she thought was gonna happen would not be happening if he had anything to say about it.

“okay, girl. i’ll see you soon.” you pulled her into an embrace, the top of her head reaching the bottom of your chin as you lean down to hug her. you weren't sure how she wasn’t falling over yet–there wasn't much body for the alcohol she had befriended for the night to go through. “and lay off the liquor.” your voice was stern as you pulled away.

she throws the rest of the liquid down her throat in response, the bottom of the red solo cup left empty as crushed it beneath her fingers. you couldn’t help but to smile at her before turning away, her boyfriend now fast approaching before she got a chance to find the liquor table again.

stepping out of the party, you pull your phone from the pocket of your skirt to order a car home. it had completely slipped your mind that you rode here with misty and her boyfriend, instantly reminded of the fact that you didn’t own a car nor a license as you approached the front yard. the prices for cars at this time a night were more than you got paid per hour.

your head fell back in frustration, the warm summer breeze blowing against your bare legs as you ground out into the night sky.

“y/n?”

the sound of your name sends a shiver down your back. you stopped dead in your tracks, as if the cool metal of a gun was being held to the back of your skull.

your head turns in the direction of the familiar voice, eyes tearing away from the distant constellations in the night sky. lafe’s leaning against the side of his truck, a mixture of keys dangling around his finger.

“rafe.” you respond to him with his own name. “long time, no see.”

your feet carried you towards the blonde resting against the dark colored vehicle behind, eyes locked on the blue of his own.

you could feel the sharpness of your teeth tearing into your bottom lip, the warm, bubbly feeling you got whenever the two of you were in the same room making a return. rafe’s eyes fell to the way you were ravaging the plump flesh, almost entranced by the sight.

“how’ve you been?” the taller man pulls his gaze away and returns it to your eyes as he inquires. “heard you graduated, congrats by the way.”

“yeah, thanks.” you reply chipperly. “um…i’ve been alright. not a lot going on, to be honest. you?”

“same, same… he trails off awkwardly, the sounds of the late night filling the air between us. “hey, um, do you–do you need a ride, or anything?”

you shook your head immediately and raised your hand to show him the rideshare app on the screen.

“no, i’m good. i don’t wanna take you out of your way.” you smile politely at him as you speak. “thanks, though.”

rafe shakes his head and opens the passenger’s side door he was previously leaning on just seconds before.

“it’s no big deal, seriously. you don’t live that far from me, i’m heading in that direction anyway.”

you stare at him wordlessly for a moment, eyes tearing away from him and flickering around the street around you. no one had exited the party after you did, at least not that you had seen. the ground was shaking beneath the two of you as the bass of the music continued strongly through the night.

you hesitantly take a step towards the car door being held open by the tall blonde, not quite sure if it’s smart for you to be around him right now. you lift yourself into the tall truck and plop down into the seat before your eyes set on rafe once again.

the fist-stized muscle protected by your ribs feels as if it’s trying to tear your chest in half to escape just from the sight of rafe, unsure of how to behave around him anymore.

shutting the door after seeing you settled inside, he makes his way over to the driver’s side. watching as he buckles himself in and starts the car, the roaring of the engine sent a vibration through the entirety of your being.

“do you think you should be driving right now?” you spoke up after a minute of silence. his head turns fully to meet your eyes, his pupils large and eyes dark under the minimal lighting of the moon above.

his eyebrows raise at the inquiry before just barely furrowing them in confusion.

“you think i can’t handle my liquor?” he blinks at you in the darkness of the car, eyelids hiding and revealing the blown out pupils that had taken over the ocean blue of his irises. “you never had a problem with it before.”

your mouth opened briefly before snapping back shut, the words that left his own rendering you responseless.

you and rafe had a long history together, though, if you were to ask anyone else that, they’d be taken by surprise. there had been plenty of times where you’ve let him drive around while he was far from sober, but it had been months since then. it had been months since you two had spoken, and it wasn’t really something you felt comfortable with anymore.

“okay, well it’s been a while and you’ve had a lot to drink tonight.” you eventually found your voice again, pointing out how long it’s been since you’d been in a situation like this one.

rafe didn’t argue, instead choosing to shrug his shoulders wordlessly. he put the car into reverse and backed out of the driveway smoothly, the truck pulling off into the dimly lit street.

you sat in silence for the entire ride, the awkwardness in the air more on your end than his. the trees blew by on the side of the road, the leaves appearing to be nothing but dark blurs as you observed them from the window. rafe was not sparse with the gas, each sharp, fast turn leaving you more anxious than the last.

you could feel rafe glance towards me every so often, steely eyes burning into the side of your face and leaving behind a warmth in your cheeks that couldn’t be shaken.

it was when he pulled in front of your dark house that he finally broke the silence, leaving a question that you weren’t quite sure how to answer hovering in the cool air of the truck.

“hey, y/n?”

“yeah?” you didn’t turn to face him, choosing instead to watch the windows of your house for any signs of life.

he sat wordlessly for a few seconds and you could feel his eyes on you once again, much more intensely than the first few times on the road. you were afraid to look back at him, fully aware that you would become lost in them like you did when you first met him.

“why’d you stop calling?” he asked.

you blinked at the reflection in the window, his question echoing in your head. turning to face him, his eyes locked onto yours. they refused to let go, gaze leaving you trapped under the spell that it casts upon you.

gulping soundlessly, you wet your mouth with the saliva collecting underneath your tongue as you prepared an answer. it felt as if the words had been stolen from your throat the moment you exchanged looks.

“why’d you stop answering?” you said after finding your voice.

the feelings repressed began to bubble to the surface the longer you two sat in the enclosed space. you felt breathless, confused, and angry. not only at him, but at yourself as well.

you let yourself become attached when you shouldn’t have, and because of that you had to suffer repercussions of unrequited feelings. you were angry because he left you hanging for weeks, but you let him. he treated you like shit, but you let him. you were never supposed to catch feelings, but you let yourself.

that’s why you’re angry.

even with all of that, your heart never failed to beat out of your chest when he was near you. rafe didn’t even need to put his hands on you to leave you breathless. you should hate him, especially with how he treated you, treated your sister and her friends–but you don’t. you can’t.

that’s why you’re confused.

“i was dealing with a lot. i’m sorry.”

“that’s not really an excuse, rafe.” your lips pursed at him before rubbing together, the clear lip gloss coating them acting as a lubricant to prevent friction between them. “you didn’t want to tell me what was wrong when i asked, so you don’t get to use that card.”

rafe puts the car into park before fully turning to you, the furrow of his brow intensifying as he squints. shaking his head slightly, he opens his mouth to speak.

“it didn’t have anything to do with you, though.” he said. “i didn’t wanna drag you into my shit because it was…it was a lot. it was a lot and you didn’t need to be involved.”

“okay, and that’s fine.” your eyes flickered over at the dashboard’s clock to check the time, the number rising with each minute into the night. you turned back to him. “what’s not fine is blowing me off for months and then asking me why i stopped calling. you didn’t care to answer the phone when i did.”

rafes hand rakes over his buzzed head, fingers running through the stubble that replaces the golden locks that once held its place. he pulls his lip in between his pearly white teeth as he nods at you, tongue peeking through as they part to make space for the pink muscle.

“you’re right.” he doesn’t argue like he usually would, the sudden accountability taking you by surprise. “that was kinda fucked up, wasn’t it? you didn’t deserve that.”

“no, rafe. i didn’t.”

he nods his head again and leans back against the cool, tinted window. his lids are low as he looks across at you, the intensity of his gaze causing your heart to leave bruises on your ribs from how strongly it pounded. you could barely hear anything, blood rushing past your ears and every breath shakier than the last.

stepping out of the car, rafe makes his way over to the passenger side door. you watch curiously as he crosses the front of the car, the street lights shining down on his broad frame. you don’t move when he opens the door, nor when he looks between you and your seatbelt expectantly.

your brows raise at the man briefly before the ‘click’ of the seatbelt fills both your ears, hands removing the snug strap from across your chest. you take the hand that he offers to exit the car, glancing up at your house again before taking it. nobody seemed to be awake but you still didn’t want to risk anyone seeing us this close together.

“nobody’s gonna see, y/n . calm down.” rafe’s voice so close to your ear pulls your attention away from the property and back towards him standing before you.

you stepped down from the truck with his aide, but he didn’t move even once your feet touch the ground. instead, his hands moved to grasp your waist and pull you closer. the move felt so familiar yet so strange, but you accepted it rather than pushing him away.

the warmth of his palms against your bare skin was intensified by the jolts of electricity felt whenever we touched. you could tell he felt the way you shivered in response to his fingers just barely gripping the soft flesh beneath them, thumbs smoothing over in a back and forth motion.

“i’m sorry i ghosted you. i was an asshole for that, and you know what? i deserve whatever you feel towards me.” you say nothing, but don’t push him away either. he takes that as a sign to continue. “but i hope you find it in you to forgive me, because i–i miss you.”

you nearly snorted as he uttered the sentence.

“you miss me?” you repeated the words back to him. “you sure know how to show it.”

“yes, i miss you.” rafe’s hold intensifies for a moment before going back to its previous state. “when i saw you at the party tonight, i–i didn’t know how much i missed your face. i missed your smile, your smell. i missed having you close to me and being able to hold you like this…”

the sound of him inhaling strongly shook you, his eyes screwing shut as he took in the combination of your natural scent and the gourmand perfume you wore. his fingers twitched against your skin as he resisted the urge to dig them deep into the flesh like he always used to. his chest rose and fell intensely, all but able to see his blood pumping through his jugular.

“god, i fucking miss you.”

“rafe…” you called his name softly but sternly to pull him out of his hypnotized state. his eyes open but they’re barely focused. you weren’t sure if his pupils were blown because of the high, or because of you. “i miss you, too.”

the stillness between us remains until you broke it, the voice in the back of your head reminding you of the months spent trying to get over him.

“i miss you, but i can’t do this again.” you sighed heavily. “you fucked me up for months, rafe, and i can’t let that happen again.”

“it won’t happen again. i promise.”

sou shook your head at his words, tongue poking out just enough to taste the vanilla flavor of the gloss coating your lips.

“no–no, rafe. no promises.” you let your hands fall to rest on top of his, watching as the sudden contact makes him shiver just as much as it used to when he did it to you. “no feelings–i can’t do that again.”

you pushed him away gently and stepped to the side, unsure of if you’d regret the words about to leave your lips next.

“if you wanna fuck, then we can do that.” your bluntness catches him off guard, head jerking back at the directness of the words. you’d never spoken like that before, and it shocked you as well. “but the lovey-dovey shit that we used to do? no more of that.”

“what?” rafe looks at you in disbelief, the vulgar language leaving him stunned. it was a rarity that you cursed–at least around him–, let alone said something so…intense. “what is that supposed to mean? ‘no more lovey-dovey shit?’”

you shrugged and pushed past him fully, feet carrying your body a few yards away before turning back to speak. he looked thoroughly confused and a bit hurt, but not as hurt as he left you when he ghosted you with a million unanswered questions and just as many ignored phone calls.

“it means if you call me in the night-time, i might pick up.” your eyes scanned for his reaction to the words left echoing in your own head for a moment, the heat of his gaze reminding you of the reason you needed to escape into the house behind you to begin with. “just depends on what you’re on.”

rafe was left standing in the dark of the early morning, bewildered and alone.

#rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x pogue!reader #drew starkey #outer banks #rafe cameron x kook!reader #rafe cameron x oc #obx fanfiction #obx2 #obx1 #obx3 #obx fic #rafe x reader #rafe obx #rafe imagine

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are-you-still-writing-that · 6 months

Text

Yandere Alphabet: Chrollo Lucilfer

That man was one of the first villains I ever truly found interesting, just because he himself doesn´t know who he is. That was such a funny thing to me. Like, considering everything he has done, and he doesn´t know the reason for it? I´m so glad, that the Phantom Troupe will be returning in the latest Manga Arc, though I know they won´t make it out of there alive. I always enjoyed seeing them, after they were first introduced to us. So, I simply had to do something for their boss.

Chrollo Lucilfer

He is the head of the spider, the leader of the Phantom Troupe. A man who is a phantom himself. A man who laid his entire self into a group of people. Who holds onto anything that live has for him with a tight grip. Who is so afraid to let go, because then he knows, those things would be lost forever to him. He is taunting, and when he has the chance to be smug he will be as well. He has problems to see you like a person, but oh dear he still loves his treasures so very much.

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

There are two very clear ways in which Chrollo will show his affection to you. One of them is loud and acted and the other one is far more quiet and honest. He will shower you in some of the jewellery he stole or anything else that either caught your eye or his. He plays it up for an imaginary audience. The other, more true to him, way to show affection is far more quiet. Sometimes he will read out a poem that reminded him of you, otherwise he will simply seek out your company. Otherwise he makes it clear, that he listens to you every once in a while.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

He doesn´t mind killing, because over the years he simply got used to it. It´s nothing special for him, just another thing, that needs to be done. Though he still tends to be quick about it. There is no need for him to spend more time on something insignificant as that as needed. It´s hard to piss him off enough to make it messy and even then he is more likely to just be clean while murdering someone brutally. In the end, he is more likely to play mind games.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

In the first few moments, maybe even days, he would ignore you. He doesn´t do this out of malice, but out of a misguided sense of care and, well let´s call it empathy. He knows, that this is a lot for you, and so he thinks the lack of interaction will help you settle better. Though, there isn´t really any kidnapping happening because he will move into your own space and keep you there with him. He gets a bit petty, when you insult him and tends to give back as good as he gets.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

He is a charmer, a born manipulator. Chrollo gives you the illusion of choice over and over again without you even noticing, that it isn´t really choice you can make. He manipulates the situation your in very carefully, as he doesn´t want you to notice this either. He tailors every situation, so that it will fit to his desires, so that his will will prevail.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

He doesn´t make himself vulnerable with you. He doesn´t want to be like that with you either. He barely knows himself, so how could he even show you the parts he doesn´t show anyone else either. He doesn´t know. He bases his personality on the people around him. He becomes whatever is needed for the people he holds close to his heart. So, if he had to be honest, he is quite happy never baring his heart and soul to you either. Maybe he doesn´t even have one.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

He very quickly grows annoyed with you but still tries to hold back and treat this like a fun game. Though, he will lose his patience with you at some point and show you what he is capable of. He regrets it almost immediately and apologizes to you. Without a moment´s notice the mask of the charming and kind man is firmly back in place.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

Though he sometimes thinks that your attempts are kind of funny, he still would like it better if you would stop doing it. He looks at you in those moments, as one would, watching a beloved pet do something stupid over and over again. He knows that there is no real chance that you will be getting away from him. So he thinks of it as being hilarious, but would prefer you settle down with him.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

He can change his personality at the drop of a head. Chrollo is very good at acting. The moment you realize that, a shiver will run down your spine and a chill will settle in your bones, that will never leave again. He makes it clear, that the way he appears to you is decided on a whim of his. There is also the lurking disregard of human life, his or others, that also carries over into his every action, that tends to freak you out.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

He can´t imagine any kind of future with you. He carries the beat of death in his heart. And he is satisfied with whatever he already got with you. He reached out to you with open hands, and he managed to catch you as well. At the moment he is content.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

He is confident in himself, when it comes to you interacting with other people. He knows, that he is able to twist himself into a personality that is everything you could ever want from him. And he also knows, that he is the only one that can do this to such an extent. So he doesn´t really get jealous, though he still wants to be the centre of your attention, and will do what he can to keep that position.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

Chrollo will be as gentle as he can with you. He likes to adore you. Most of the time he tries to act overly sophisticated, while he generally isn´t. Reading you poetry, comparing you to some of his favourite figures in literature, and quoting you some of his favourite lines as well. He acts almost sweet with you

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

He is a picture perfect gentleman around you. Polite, careful and attentive. He intrudes into your spaces without really crossing any lines at the same time. The meetings seem coincidental. At least at first. They occur to often to be chance. But because he depicts himself as non-threatening you will let it slide. This is how he gets close. Involving you in several conversations just so, that he can learn more about you.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Considering, that he has a habit of basing his entire personality on other people, there is always a mask in place, that he can never get rid off. He feels empty inside. He is the amalgamation of what all the people he ever loved needed from him. And so he becomes what you need from him as well. But over time more and more of his other personality traits will slip in as well.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

He goes all quiet when he is angry. It´s a slow anger, that he keeps a tight leash on. It´s something, that is vicious and barely noticeable at the same time. It hardens his face and wipes every emotion out of his face. It makes him cold and cruel. It makes him creative.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

When he moves in with you, no matter what you have to say about it, he also takes control over your life. Well not completely. Only when he is around. He still travels a lot, as he did before. Always on the move. It´s rare, that he demands that you will come with him. He likes it better when you are safe at home, where nothing can really happen to you. When he returns to you though, he craves to be the centre of your attention. He wants you around, and to interact with him. You won´t have single moment truly to yourself, when he is near by.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

Chrollo likes to display himself as a patient man. He isn´t really, but because he holds on tightly to this image it makes him quite patient anyway. No one needs to know, that he is clenching his jaw and his body tensing with annoyance. With you, he tries even harder to patient and charming and most of the time he is even quite successful.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

He will mourn the loss of you. It feels to him, as if he lost another piece of himself with you. He has laid loving you, adoring you, as an important foundation of his personality. You were something, someone, that he based his personality around again. You were as important to him, as his spider is. And now he lost you. His grief overwhelms him and he doesn´t know what to do. So he throws himself back into being the head of the spider.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

He can never regret reaching his hands out for something, that he wants. He knows, that he needs to take what he wants, because the world will never offer it to him for free. There is nothing there that he should regret. He sometimes feels almost melancholic though, when he realizes that you aren´t as carefree as before, that he made you change. That he is the cause behind this change.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

He grew up with nothing. Life taught him over and over again that if he wants to have something that he will need to take it. It taught him that if he wants to keep something he will have to fight for it. Over and over again these lessons were drilled into his skull. Over the years he would find peace in his eventual death, because he laid his life into the hands of his spider. It´s strange for him to feel so strongly again.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

It disappoints him to see how you loose your composure that quickly. In the end though he will be far more interested to observe this new facet of you. It makes you appear more human that something like this seems to pull out such a strong reaction from you. Though if he notices that you start to pull back is when he will pull you out of your fit again. No need to loose that shiny personality of your now.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

He will invade your space, instead of forcing you to stay in his. There won´t be a chance of him kidnapping you in a traditional sense. Also, he will be well-liked by most of your peers, because he can play of normal and charming young gentleman very well. Another thing that differentiates him is that he will never be able to open up to you. No matter if you try or not.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

He has an unfortunate habit to shift his personality to fit better into any situation. He always tries to be the most charming version of him that he can. In the end Chrollo lacks an identity that he can rely on. There is no sense of self that can help him to steady himself. This doesn´t mean that he necessarily easy to shake up, but it´s something that can be achieved. Something that can be exploited to manipulate the situation to your favour.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Chrollo wouldn´t hurt you directly. He has enough self-control to avoid that. But what he will do is threaten everyone you love with a pleasant smile on his lips. He doesn´t care about other people. He doesn´t have the energy for it either. His priority is you. Not whoever you hold dear. He also won´t mind to render them apart if it ensures that you will stay at his side. Or at least won´t act out in an obvious manner.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

He is someone that sees you as an immeasurable treasure. He wants you as soon as he sets his eyes on you, and is not willing to change his mind over you either. While he doesn´t outright worship you, he still puts you on a pedestal. After all you make him feel alive. A feeling that he very deeply treasures and will chase after. He tries to be charming at first, and will try to win you over like that.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

He doesn´t really pine in the first place. He sees you, recognizes that he wants you, then he takes you. There is no period of time, where he just can´t stop thinking about you. His desire overtakes him quickly and completely. Like it always does. And he has learned early: To get what he wants, he has to take you. Nothing comes for free after all, and while patience is a virtue, there is nothing, that can hold him back.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

He would threaten to do this to them. Though he would never actually do it. He makes you aware, that this could be a possibility, without the intention to do it. He likes you. He thinks, that they are interesting. So, why would he break that? Sure, there is some beauty in all the broken things of this world. Doesn´t mean you have to break too. But there is no sense in letting them know that. He likes the fear in your eyes, when he tangles the empty promise over their head.

#yandere #yandere chrollo #yandere kuroro #yandere alphabet #xreader #hunterxhunter #hxh #chrollo lucilfer #kuroro lucilfer #kuroro rushirufuru #Quwrof Wrlccywrlir #yandere headcanon #chrollo headcanons #kuroro headcanons #chrollo x reader #kuroro x reader #yandere hunterxhunter #yandere hxh

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ddlcbrainrot · 2 months

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i’m just saying more people should make use of the angst factory that is sayori’s and mc’s friendship

Imagine you have a childhood best friend that you’ve lost touch with, and suddenly you two start hanging out again. You two start spending a lot of time together again, and things are like nothing has changed between you. All that time apart was not enough to strain your friendship, and you think to yourself “ wow even after all this time she still is the same sweet girl i’ve always known”.

Only for you to find out that she’s actually been suffering for as long as you’ve known her. And you didn’t realise a single thing until it was too late.

All the mixed emotions of concern for your friend, guilt of your ignorance (you’ve known her for forever, how couldn’t you tell?) but also the realisation that the person you’ve thought you knew better than anyone was more or less a facade. Now, i’m not saying that Sayori’s cheery personality is all fake, but i imagine MC would have to question where the facade starts and where it ends (did he even know her at all?).

All this and i’ve still haven’t said anything about Sayori’s POV of their friendship, which is just as - if not more - angst inducing.

I think the key factor to understand Sayori’s POV is the word indirect. Because most of the hurt she experiences from MC’s actions is in fact indirect. Even in the game she talks about how his actions were not actively malicious, but they indirectly caused her pain. And yeah, it is because of her feelings for him, but even if we ignore that their friendship alone still caused her indirect pain.

I see a lot of people be like “MC is so mean to her in their base game” which honestly? have you ever been in a long term friendship? idk if it’s just me but the way they interacted seemed like how any childhood friends would. Because no matter how mean your childhood friend is to you, you know they don’t mean any actual malice. It’s basic logic that the person who has been with you since childhood doesn’t actually think of you as just some dumb clutz. But depression isn’t logical. And that’s exactly why Sayori is actually affected by what on any other circumstance would be playful teasing between lifelong friends. It’s actually an issue that, while complicated, could easily be addressed if Sayori communicated to MC her feelings on the matter. But since Sayori is so focused to keeping things the same, how they’ve always been so he doesn’t worry, she doesn’t voice this at all.

I’d like to add that even though Sayori goes out of her way to make sure MC doesn’t find out about her depression, there must also be a part of her that is hurt by his lack of knowledge on the matter. MC in act 1 repeatedly says he knows Sayori better than anyone. Imagine you are Sayori, your friend insists he knows you, fully knows you, and yet he can’t seem to notice this very vital part of you. Again, he is hurting her indirectly, and frankly because Sayori is herself keeping this part of her hidden. It’s a double edged sword, really.

When Sayori does tell MC about her depression however, MC quite frankly responds in a pretty bad way.

I don’t think i need to explain how his response isn’t at all what you should say, i think enough people have done so already. But i will say it makes sense for him to respond that way. I think a lot of people, especially people who are online, have seen so many post or videos about how to handle these kind of situations, so it’s easy to forget that not everyone is that well educated on the subject of mental health (and it makes even more sense for MC in particular to be so clueless on the subject, since men’s knowledge on mental health is literally non existent bc of society’s own view of men as emotionless, but that’s a rant for another time). I think he reacts as a normal teenage guy would tbh. And that is he says the wrong thing.

And as he finds Sayori in the end of act 1, since he doesn’t know of Monika’s influence, he thinks his ignorance costs his best friend’s life.

#ddlc #ddlc sayori #ddlc mc #this was supposed to be just the first line btw #but i decided to explain myself a little #two hours later…#if something doesn’t make sense pls forgive me i’m not a writer :’)

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raayllum · 5 months

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Now, don't get me wrong, by all accounts, Rayla isn't a particularly 'good' assassin. She fails to follow mission orders when she's actually given them (1x01, 1x02) and outright defies them (1x03). A lot of this is because of her own sense of morality and compassion, which is exactly what Runaan criticizes her for and what Ethari worried about.

R: Your heart isn't hard enough to do whatever it takes.

E: I told Runaan you were too good hearted for the work of an assassin, so I know you did not betray them out of malice.

However...

There is still a reason that Runaan thought she would be a good assassin. Part of that is because he's a lot like Claudia, his love for his family obscuring a more objective reality. The other part is that, other than her 'too soft' heart, Rayla has what she needs to be an assassin in terms of the skill set (her blades were at Marcos' throat) and because she doesn't always listen to said 'soft heart'. In fact, she often tries very very hard not to (see a lot of early S1 in particular).

“Of course. For…” she chewed her lip and counted on her fingers. “Hrm, maybe fifteen years now. Anyway, you can call me Redfeather.” [...] Rayla felt her heart turn soft in her chest in just the way she hated. She wanted to know more, had to know more. “What did you do?”

Now, we see that in S4 Rayla is a lot better at well, not listening to that soft squishy part of herself, and that Soren was less good at appealing to her about it than Ezran. Some of this is probably because he pivoted away from the dragon and went after it from an identity standpoint — which, not only does Rayla have a pretty malleable sense of self in her own head, she does not believe that any part of whatever identity is there is particularly good / does not think she's a 'Good' person quote unquote — but this was absolutely doomed to fail post-return. Spending two years alone, trying to singularly hunt down a man and murder him, and knowing all the while that you hurt the people you love the most and have nothing to show for it... Yeah, no one's gonna be in the best head space for that, or be overly inclined to trust their own judgement or capacity to save people.

Like most characters in the show, Rayla struggles with always knowing what the right thing to do is, and what served her well in the past — trusting her gut, taking on things alone, laying herself down in the line of fire, removing her hesitation, and going to save Phyrrah in 2x07 — may not always serve her well in every scenario. She thought she was right to do all the same things when she went after Viren, didn't she? So she errs on the side of inaction, of not wanting to make another mistake by acting with her heart rather her head (again), and inadvertently waltzes into another mistake (Soren being captured and going missing).

Rayla will do the right thing, and hate herself for it, and will stubbornly ignore the signs screaming at her when she isn't doing the right thing (and she'll hate herself for that, too.)

[ Sidenote: bonus post about how Arc 2 increasingly treats more and more character traits and decisions as circumstantial rather than inherently good or bad ]

As she says to Ezran:

R: I let him go. I don't know why. E: Because you felt for him. R: But he was a human — my enemy! E: Yeah, but then you saw he was scared. And you knew he was a person, just like you. R: That shouldn't have mattered. I had a job to do.

I think we can read this in two ways. The first is that to be an assassin, you have to be able to dehumanize others on a fundamental level because you're 1) murdering strangers 2) on someone else's orders. Although Runaan preaches about balance in Bloodmoon Huntress (when you kill someone, you remove their capacity for love and change) we have all of Arc 1 talking about why that mindset is flawed and isn't good enough, especially because it culminates in Harrow's death when he still had plenty of things to love, like his children, and so much he wanted to change, and it would've led to Ezran's death as well. This is one of the reasons why assassination and dark magic, conceptually, often go hand in hand for the characters and their explorations of personhood and the right thing to do, etc etc.

The second way is that Rayla, by ignoring her own wants and personhood — her own heart — is also dehumanizing herself. It shouldn't matter that she's a person with wants and weaknesses; she had a job to do. We see this reflected in a lot of her behaviour ("Don't worry about my hand. The egg is all that matters now" —> "It's agonizing. But I know our mission comes first: the world is in danger, and you can trust me to stay focused") and in Runaan's / Moonshadow elves infamous "I am already dead" thing.

(There is also the factor that, because her and Callum mutually informed the construction of each other's new senses of identity to an absurd degree, if Callum doesn't want her then she doesn't know / doesn't have a firm footing on who she is anymore without him, but that's a codependent post for another day.)

All of this is a very long winded way of saying there, much like Viren and Claudia, are two consistently contradicting aspects to Rayla's personality that she is catapulting between, and the Assassin Rayla and Protector Rayla are, as of S5, still equal parts of her as she finds her way. Both have good and bad qualities of her, even if the Assassin Rayla side is — let's say more negative — and far more worrisome given what Callum has asked her to do if he is possessed again, and how it seems like S6 will be going full steam ahead in exploring that plotline.

In a lot of ways, Assassin Rayla and Protector Rayla have the exact same set of traits — selfless, protective, strong, willing to sever close bonds or divert from the mission to do the Right Thing — but instead describe the circumstances she's making those choices in. Protector Rayla is the one who stands against Runaan on the battlements; Assassin Rayla is the one who refuses to prioritize her parents even when she absolutely could (or at least, more than she is).

Assassin Rayla causes her to forget her own needs and put the world above everything else. Assassin Rayla causes her to ignore other people's needs, either not helping them (although iirc 4x05 is the only real example of it) or by leaving / keeping secrets.

The part of her we don't want her to listen to, the part she listens to when she's Scared — the one that walks away from the drake in 4x05, that tries to walk away in 1x09, and what led to her leaving, in a lot of ways, in TTM (both out of love, trauma, and a desperate need for control) — and how S4 reaffirms those qualities is precisely what may lead her to hurting Callum (again) in S6.

Because Callum is asking her to become an Assassin, Aaravos marks her as a failed one, and Rayla still — deep down — wants to ultimately be a Protector. We'll just have to see what side she answers to (and why).

More thoughts on Rayla, identity, and murder to follow lmao

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loveemagicpeace · 1 year

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What transits of planets teach you🧁🎨

🎨🧁Jupiter teaches you growth, wisdom and shows you a new perspective on life. It gives you many opportunities - but you can recognize/take them. It shows you new hope, it shows meaning to your life. It shows you a new path that you didn't know about before. Jupiter is like healing, giving us hope for something bigger and more beautiful. He gives us life and a path that leads us forward. We get gifts and it makes our lives easier. It shows us all the good sides and optimism.

🪐💫Saturn teaches you to see reality better and to react to it more quickly. Teach them discipline, maturity and self-respect. It teaches you to see things and take different perspectives. Act more responsibly. Saturn guides us through paths that we can do on our own. There always comes a time when we must translate that inner growth into concrete, outward terms. This transits are always a call to action in the real word. Saturn it is like father. He wants us to grow up and leave childhood behind. It shows us how we have grown and what we have outgrown. Saturn is a silent planet that leaves behind gifts that we did not expect. The reward that comes is always greater than what we endured.

💚🧞‍♂️Uranus confronts us with change. Teach us how to fit in and become unique. It changes our habits. Uranus teaches you to stand behind what you are, to resist everything that is opposite to you and to dare to go in the opposite direction. Changes come unexpectedly and unpredictably. We become more free-thinking and don't let others lead us. It guides us through understanding our relationships and friendships.

🧜🏼‍♀️🧚🏼‍♀️Neptune the ability to experience inspiration, dreams, fantasies, faces of life's drama. You are going through a spiritual period and at the same time a mystical one. You learn to face the unknown. Our dreams and artistic abilities grow. We get to know our inner world. It teaches us to relax and just observe. We get back the vision for our life that we somehow lost. Listen to your inner voice. Let him guide you. This is a good time for meditation, yoga and self-discovery. This is also the time when we can meet astrology.

🌊🥶Pluto shows us strength and helps us find it. It shows us how strong we can be if we want to be. The ability to heal one's soul, recovering the energy needed to find an altruistic mission in life, thereby filling one's consciousness with a sense of ultimate purpose. Can we face our deep wounds and fears? Will they recognize our inner gifts? Pluto guides us through a transformation that is emotional, deep and mysterious. It reveals the truth that we can face. We can let go of the old so that we can start anew.

🍒👄Mars encourages us to do something, it gives us more energy. It encourages us to take a step. We must face a fear, striking an effective blow against whatever standts between us and our legitimate golas. Finer shadings of emotion may be buried. With Mars, all we can do is take a deep breath and then do what is necessary. Maybe the situation explodes in our face, but only maybe. as a snarling German shepherd with glazed eyes and a foaming mouth. We feel overwhelmed. Sometimes we suffer terrible reversals, physical or emotional pain that seems to strike us randomly, through accidents or other people's malice. Otherwise, ego either implodes into depression and a sense of "being a victim," or it explodes into waves of ignorant, arrogant, cowardly destructiveness.

🧸🫀Venus encourages us to do something for ourselves, to enjoy the beauty that is given to us. To meet someone, to have a romance. Venus shows us beauty& goddess of the arts. Maybe we will go to the theater, an evening listening to music, a morning walk by the sea or strumming our old guitar. We realize that we are not alone. This is the time to hang out with friends or our lovers. This is good for a hug, a kind relationship. To realize our worth. Many times venus bring wisdom, some new perspective. Venus may offer us a quiet night with cup of tea.

☀️⚡️Sun teaches us to accept a part of our personality, who we are. Maybe during the transit of the sun, we become more egocentric, self-conscious, proud, stubborn. The sun gives us inspiration and joy. Whatever the Sun touches is simply emphasized in our awareness by the contact. When the transiting Sun hits a trigger point, it is as if all the intensity of our life force were focused on that particular dimension of existence. The best way to view the transits of the Sun is to think of them as a big, celestial searchlight.

🌙🍬Moon shows us emotionality, where we are most emotional at that time and what should take over. Transits of moon are often dramatic. The transits of the Moon illuminate the daily impact of the unconscious mind upon the ego, of soul upon personality. It represents our everyday emotions and how we deal with it. The moon creates events that we remember and stay in our hearts. The memories that we create with others.

🌴🐚Mercury helps us to get to know things that we haven't until now. It gives us new information to face. Usually it has to do with our mentality and communication with others. We mean something that may not be what it seems. We think about things and people around us and create a picture, which in the end turns out to be different. We think that someone is angry with us, but in reality they are just tired of things. We are open for new changes, new experiences. We are facing objective truth. The mind becomes overwrought. We tend to get nervous. We chatter. Usually because we are resisting some critical new concept, desperately trying to hold together our old model of the world rather than allowing ourselves to flow into a clearer, more mature picture of life and of our place in it. We have to talk.

-Rebekah🧚🏼‍♀️💕🌊

#astrology #energy #zodiac signs #planets #astrological placements #planet symbols #transits #sun #moon #jupiter #pluto #uranus #venus #neptune #saturn #mercury #mars

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pigeonflavouredcake · 1 year

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Miscellaneous Laws and Philosophies

This is another grimoire extract featuring a compiled list of philosophies, paradoxes, laws of life and physics.

Some of these might be particularly helpful to your practice if you wish to apply them, for example the philosophy of similarity or Newton's laws of motion. Or perhaps you’re like me and just find them interesting to list -some of these, I will admit, I chose to include for a bit of a giggle.

-Absurdism: The philosophical theory that life is absurd with no meaning or higher purpose and can not be understood by reason.

-Acton’s Dictum: Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Great men are almost always bad men.

-Backwards Law: The harder you try the less likely you are to succeed. In psychology, this is also called the ironic process theory.

-Brandolini's Law: The amount of energy needed to refute bullshit is an order of magnitude bigger than the amount it took to produce it.

-Buttered Cat Paradox: Cats always land on their feet. Buttered toast always lands butter side down. If you tape a slice of buttered toast to a cat what will happen when you drop them?

-Catch-22: A situation in which someone is in need of something that can only be had by not being in need of it.

-Clarke's Laws:

The Old Scientist: When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, they are almost certainly right. When they say that something is impossible they are very probably wrong.

Possibility: The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little ways past them into the impossible.

Magic: Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

-Finagle's Law: An addition to Murphy’s law “Anything that can go wrong will go wrong” will at the worst possible moment.

-Gibson's Law: For every PhD there is an equal and opposite PhD.

-Hanlon’s Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Or, do not invoke conspiracy as explanation when ignorance and incompetence will suffice, as conspiracy implies intelligence.

-Hedonism: A group of philosophical theories centred around pursuing and defining pleasure, referring to both large activities like sex or recreational drugs and small activities like reading a good book or watching a sunset.

-Humphrey’s Law: Conscious attention to a task normally performed automatically can hinder its performance.

-Ironic Process Theory: The psychological process whereby an individual’s deliberate attempts to suppress certain thoughts makes those thoughts more persistent.

-Lem’s Law: No one reads; if someone does read, they do not understand, if they do understand, they immediately forget.

-Muphry’s Law: If you write anything criticising, editing, or proofreading, there will be a fault of some kind in what you have written (the name is a purposeful misspelling of Murphy's law).

-Murphy’s Law: Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.

-Newton’s Flaming Laser Sword: What cannot be settled by experiment is not worth debating.

-Newton’s Laws of Motion:

Law of Inertia: Objects will stay in rest or in motion unless an outside force causes a change.

F = ma: Force = mass x acceleration meaning the acceleration of an object depends on the object's mass and the force acting upon it.

Action and Reaction: For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction meaning when two objects meet each other they apply force to one another that are equal in magnitude but in the opposite direction.

-Nihilism: Based on the rejection of religious and moral principles and the belief that life is meaningless. Many people see nihilism as depressing and nihilistic people as miserable and annoying, that may be true for some but nihilism also provides the freedom to create and express yourself without social boundaries. There are two types of nihilists: those who say “life is meaningless so why bother?” and those who say “life is meaningless so why not?”.

-Occam's Razor: The philosophical principle that the simplest explanation is usually the best one. When presented with two competing hypotheses that have the same prediction, one should choose the hypothesis with the least variables and assumptions.

-Papert’s Principle: Some of the most crucial steps in mental growth are based not simply on acquiring news skills, but on acquiring new administrative ways to use what one already knows.

-Paradox of Hedonism: When one pursues happiness itself, one is miserable; but, when one pursues something else, one achieves happiness.

-Philosophy of Similarity: Based on the degree of resemblance objects have to one another using their shared properties. This is built on recognising certain patterns like colour or taste and then comparing them to others.

-Rothbard’s Law: Everyone specialises in their own area of weakness.

-Sagan Standard: Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.

-Solipsism: The philosophical view that the self or the mind is the only thing that is known to exist and anything outside of that is unsure and undefined.

-Stein's Law: If something can not go on forever, it will stop. If a trend can not go on forever, there is no need to make it stop, much less make it stop immediately; it will stop of its own accord.

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fancyshooting · 9 months

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"YOU SEE THAT IN THE MOVIES?"

In the original release of MGS3, Para-Medic would talk about one of 39 different movies when the game was saved. Two of these were westerns. Copycat Ocelot models himself after the on-screen cowboys that appeared in the movies he was so obsessed with, emulating their shooting styles, dressing in Old West inspired outfits and at one point even adopting a stereotypical twang while speaking English. The concept of his character came about due to Kojima's love of Django (1966). His original design was inspired by the actor, Lee Van Cleef, renowned for his performance in the iconic "Dollars" trilogy. Being able to shoot his beret off during his boss battle in MGS3 is almost certainly a reference to a scene from For A Few Dollars More (1965). That same boss battle has tumbleweeds rolling, dust blowing and the option to engage in a standoff with him. He uses revolvers, engraved and otherwise. His gloves! His spurs! His horse! His moustache! "Draw"! There's so much about him that it doesn't need to be explained - Ocelot is THE cowboy character. The westerns Para-Medic mentions were no doubt chosen with him in mind.

1. A Fistful of Dollars (1964)

Para-Medic: "Snake, have you ever seen 'For a Fistful of Dollars'?"

Snake: "Nope, never."

Para-Medic: "It's a spaghetti western."

Snake: "Spaghetti western?"

Para-Medic "It's really cool. Especially the main character's stylish gunplay."

Snake: "Gunplay..."

Para-Medic: "I saw it in England on the major's recommendation, but it hasn't come out in the States yet. It's so cool! They'll bring it to America, I'm sure. You have to see it sometime."

Snake: "Sure."

This is the first movie in the Dollars trilogy (The third is The Good, The Bad and The Ugly, which is decidedly more popular but its inclusion would've been anachronistic as all the movies featured in MGS3 were released in or before the year 1964). Cultural significance is not the only reason for this selection. The protagonist, The Man With No Name - or "Joe" as he is referred to by the locals - is a drifter and skilled gunfighter who wanders into a small town dominated by two corrupt rival families. Without reciting the entire plot, Joe remains loyal only to himself and exploits both families in order to turn a profit. He assists, endangers and kills people of either allegiance. Making money isn't Ocelot's ultimate goal but he is, of course, infamous for his treachery, suspicious even to characters in the games. Joe is described as being uncomfortably intelligent for a hired grunt, much like Ocelot, whose preferred approach is to act as a simple stooge, feigning ignorance to his bosses, all the while observing and devising schemes to enact his secret plans.

In the end, Joe outsmarts and outlives the two families, having played a role in the downfall of them both. It's important to note that the town sheriff being a member of one of the families does not (in true cowboy fashion) sway Joe's decisions. Ocelot is similar in that he will not bow to authority simply because they wear a badge or have a title. Joe also seems to only trouble the people who "deserve it" - he sees the corrupt families as fair game, but shows no malice towards anyone else. In fact, he takes a risk and goes out of his way to reunite a captive woman with her family, which could be called noble. Ocelot considers himself noble (In MGSV, for example - "Assuming they see [Quiet] as a prisoner here, no, even more so if they do, she deserves to be treated humanely. I always thought our men were a bit more noble-minded".) and although he can be cruel, it seems to be reserved for those who, again, "deserve it", as in, they're already operating in a military environment. Every character Ocelot kills is either a war profiteer, a military operative or is corrupt in some way. In MGSV, he laments the effects of war on civilians and shares Big Boss' sentiment of, "You pick up a gun, and sooner or later you're going to hell". Ocelot describes the Venom Snake project as "a detour on [Venom's] journey to Hell". Venom is a man Ocelot must surely respect for protecting Big Boss but he still recognises him as a soldier. Not to say that Ocelot a good person but he is aware of the harm that he and those he encounters in the military and intelligence spheres inflict by engaging in direct combat and inciting violence through manipulation that results in prolonged conflict. He speaks mournfully about the cycle of vengeance that he and those like him feed into. Still, he finds it fulfilling because that's the life he was prepared for. For him, there is no alternative.

Anyway, Joe also uses a Colt .45 ("the greatest handgun ever made"), even against the main antagonist, who claims that a man with a rifle will always beat a man with a pistol. The antagonist's signature killing style is to aim for the heart, which is what Ocelot does in MGS2. There's also torture in this movie. And a cat.

2. The Magnificent Seven (1960)

Para-Medic: "Snake, have you seen 'The Magnificent Seven'?"

Snake: "Sorry."

Para-Medic: "It's a remake of the Japanese classic, 'The Seven Samurai', only in a western setting. This tiny Mexican village is attacked every year by bandits. Finally, the village elder can't stand it any longer and decides to hire someone to protect the village. Seven gunmen respond to the call. They teach the villagers how to shoot and prepare for the oncoming attack. But then, the enemy shows up at the village with a huge band."

Snake: "Then what happens?"

Para-Medic: "You'll just have to see it for yourself. I don't want to spoil it."

Snake: "...Oh."

Para-Medic: "Movies are only fun when you actually watch them. They're something you have to experience for yourself."

In this movie, the main character, Chris, rounds up six other gunfighters to help protect a farming village that is regularly ravaged by bandits. Major Ocelot is EXTREMELY reminiscent of Chico, the youngest of the seven. After witnessing Chris' impressive skills, Chico is amazed and becomes desperate to be recruited by Chris. As Chris searches for suitable candidates, Chico persists in following the growing gang around, even after becoming infuriated by what he perceives as a ridiculous, childish game (link to scene - the way he flounces off reminds me SO much of the scene where The Boss disassembles Ocelot's gun - "very young and very proud"!). Young Ocelot is just like Chico in that he is an inexperienced, volatile young man who is eager to impress someone he idolises. Snake and Chris both act as older role models who teach the rookies to temper their pride in order to become a better soldier/gunfighter.

This movie script excerpt shows Chico's youthful naivety, as well as the likely reason Ocelot is so fond of westerns:

Chico: "Villages like this, they make up a song about every big thing that happens. Sing them for years."

Chris Adams: "You think it's worth it?"

Chico: "Don't you?"

Chris Adams: "It's only a matter of knowing how to shoot a gun. Nothing big about that."

Chico: "Hey. How can you talk like this? Your gun has got you everything you have. Isn't that true? Hmm? Well, isn't that true?"

Vin: "Yeah, sure. Everything. After a while you can call bartenders and faro dealers by their first name - maybe two hundred of 'em! Rented rooms you live in - five hundred! Meals you eat in hash houses - a thousand! Home - none! Wife - none! Kids... none! Prospects - zero. Suppose I left anything out?"

Chris Adams: "Yeah. Places you're tied down to - none. People with a hold on you - none. Men you step aside for - none."

Lee: "Insults swallowed - none. Enemies - none."

Chris Adams: "No enemies?"

Lee: "Alive."

Chico: "Well. This is the kind of arithmetic I like."

Chris Adams: "Yeah. So did I at your age."

Here, Chico is primarily concerned with the glory of being a gunfighter, whereas the older men who have actually lived that life have a bleaker perspective. Young Ocelot also values his reputation, pridefully reminding the KGB soldiers at Rassvet: "That's Major Ocelot to you - and don't you forget it!"

The arrogance of youth puts Ocelot in danger more than once. Snake spares him after every encounter, explaining to EVA that Ocelot is "still young". Over the radio, Snake says that he doesn't think Ocelot is "any older than 18 or 19", which is younger than his actual age of 20. Snake is 29 in MGS3, whereas Ocelot has only been out of his teenage years for a few months. A nine-year gap at that age is massive in terms of maturity, which is why Snake assumes Ocelot is still just a teenager. In the MGS3 novel, it seems the devious aspect of Ocelot's character is toned down, with more of a focus on how immature he is instead. His youth is mentioned at every opportunity and his admiration for Snake surviving Volgin's torture is described as "naive". Like in the game, his emotions often get the better of him which could be seen as quite childish too, as could the way he looks for guidance and approval (checking his unit are laughing along with him, ditching the engraved revolver because Snake mocked it, etc.). One of his super cool and necessary gun juggling moments is even compared to a traditional Japanese children's game called "otedama" where beanbags are tossed and juggled - a literal child's game. Snake looks on Ocelot as The Boss looks on Snake: young, inexperienced and naive. This relationship connects Snake and Ocelot through The Boss: Ocelot is her biological son, Snake her spiritual son. The Boss was Snake's mentor, and he became Ocelot's.

These lines sum up the most likely reason for Ocelot's love of westerns:

"Places you're tied down to - none. People with a hold on you - none. Men you step aside for - none."

That kind of freedom is probably something that Ocelot, raised to be a tool by the Philosophers, has desired since a very young age. Watching westerns might have inspired some kind of hope that he could have that agency over his life one day, too.

There's also a scene where Chico infiltrates the enemy camp and returns with information, an act he later brags about. Ocelot is too cautious to brag about being a spy but he does have a high opinion of himself (on the surface). Chico makes a speech in the village, ringing a bell to demand everyone's attention, a grandiose display that matches Ocelot's cockiness and dramatic gestures. While alone in the woods, Chico encounters a docile bull and tries to play bullfighter with it ("Toro! Toro! Toro!" It doesn't respond.). He kisses his hand and places it on the bull, transferring the kiss indirectly as a symbol of his harmless intent. It's another example of the light-hearted playfulness that might be expected from a young person. Considering Ocelot's fondness for animals (particularly the markhor) and tendency to be playful, it's not difficult to imagine him acting in the same way.

3. Gunfight At The OK Corral (1957)

Para-Medic: "Hey, Snake. Ever seen Gunfight At The OK Corral?"

Snake: "No, I haven't."

Para-Medic: "It's a color western about a showdown between Wyatt Earp and the Clantons in Tombstone. I was touched by the friendship between Wyatt Earp, the lawman, and Doc Holliday, the man whose life he saved."

Snake: "Was it an American that Wyatt Earp had? I thought it might have been a Peacemaker."

Para-Medic: "What are you talking about?"

Snake: "Nothing. I was just thinking about the Single Action Army Ocelot-"

Para-Medic: "Snake. He's not Kirk Douglas."

Snake: "I know that."

This movie was only added to the 3DS version of MGS3 in 2012, so the main MGS story had already come to an end four years earlier in MGS4. Ocelot's life was over and his motivations were clear. As EVA says: he idolised Big Boss.

In this call, Para-Medic says to Snake, "[Ocelot's] not Kirk Douglas." Kirk Douglas plays Doc Holliday, making Snake Wyatt Earp. These are real-life historical figures but the following is solely based on the depictions of them in this movie.

Wyatt Earp is a virtuous lawman who crosses paths with crooked (but strangely refined) gambler, gunfighter and former dentist, Doc Holliday. Through circumstance and debt, they save each other's lives and develop a familiarity with other. Their friendship is unusual considering they operate on either side of the law. Similarly, Snake and Ocelot form a bond despite their opposing allegiances. Snake spares Ocelot's life multiple times and also saves him from falling debris during the motorcycle chase in MGS3. In the novel, Ocelot concludes that every instance of him and Snake evading death at each other's hands is fate. In the game, the only time Ocelot is "allowed" to shoot Snake is when his gun is loaded with a blank.

Doc becomes somewhat distracted by Earp, even to the point of arousing jealousy in his former brothel worker girlfriend. Both she and Doc are broadly considered to be socially undesirable. He tells her plainly that people like them "haven't mattered since the day [they] were born". Doc also expresses indifference when warned that he might be killed if he confronts another character (played by Lee Van Cleef!) who is hostile to him:

Bartender: "You act as if you want to get killed."

Doc Holliday: "Maybe I do."

He later tells Earp he would prefer to die in a gunfight rather than waste away "little by little".

Ocelot was always thrilled by combat. He refused to shuffle off and succumb to illness or allow old age to snuff him out. He found fulfilment in the brutal fistfight immediately before his death at age 70. It held great meaning for him to fight with an opponent he respected in the image of an aged Big Boss.

Like Doc Holliday, Ocelot holds himself in low regard, which is referenced in the MGS4 novel with the line about his "insignificant personality" and he certainly believes himself to be disposable given the damage he voluntarily inflicts on his mind. Ocelot does not value himself as an individual and instead lives his life devoted to Big Boss and his ideals.

Doc repeatedly refers to Earl as "preacher" which is again reminiscent of the relationship between Ocelot and Snake. Before Operation Snake Eater, Snake idolised his mentor, The Boss, who became elevated to something of a sacred figure after her death. Snake is The Boss' spiritual successor and acts as Ocelot's mentor. Ocelot respects and reveres him, and in MGSV, helps to further cement Big Boss as a battlefield legend, granting him an almost supernatural status akin to The Boss'. In the Japanese script for MGS3, Snake's initial advice to Ocelot is described as "preaching" and Para-Medic later calls it a "sermon".

Until that moment at Rassvet, Ocelot obeyed but likely didn't respect many people in his life. The Philosophers, who abducted him as a baby, raised him as a tool to carry out their orders. As a teenager, he is stationed at Groznyj Grad where his only role model is the sadistic Colonel Volgin, who rules his men with fear. Ocelot has never been allowed input into the direction of his life. He has never known his parents, never had stability and is obsessed with westerns, indicating that he longs for freedom. Snake encouraging him to use revolvers is hugely significant for Ocelot. Snake's advice to switch from modern standard gear to an outdated weapon is actually a recognition of Ocelot as an individual, something that he has likely never experienced. As a child of the Philosophers, he has been trained since birth to deceive and suppress his true emotions in order to make him a more effective spy. The revolver suits Ocelot's style and brings him genuine fulfilment, even though it's tactically obsolete. He was already wearing spurs at Rassvet and was able to procure at least three revolvers within a week. If he was interested in westerns and had easy access to revolvers, the fact that he wasn't suggests that he was suppressing part of his individuality. Ocelot looks up to Snake as a guiding figure after this.

Eventually, Doc falls deathly ill and becomes bedbound. Miserable in his weakened state, he learns that Earp's brother has been killed. On the day of the fight, he becomes invigorated and by sheer force of will, sets out to join Earp and his other brothers in avenging their sibling. He says, "If I'm going to die, at least let me die with the only friend I ever had."

Ocelot constantly risked his life for Big Boss and eventually died for him after the distinct impact of his words in 1964. He pushed the young Ocelot towards true freedom and helped him shape what little personal identity he had. He irreversibly changed the course of his life. No other person or organisation could ever do what Big Boss did for Ocelot and so were undeserving of his loyalty. Doc fighting alongside the Earp brothers is indicative of his relationship with Wyatt being so strong that it approaches the familal. Ocelot is first introduced in MGS1 as one of the "Sons of Big Boss" and then, after grafting Liquid Snake's forearm onto his elbow, can be partially described as a literal "son", which is explained in the MGS4 novel:

"He had been born an ocelot but was now—even if only in fiction—a snake. That might have been what he had always desired—to be the son of the warrior whom he respected more than anyone else."

The dynamic between Wyatt Earp and Doc Holliday is similar to Snake and Ocelot in that their friendship is unexpected, strong and has elements of admiration and devotion. Earp is dedicated to his duty and inspires a loyalty in the notoriously devious Doc after displaying genuine decency and treating him fairly despite his reputation, a decision criticised by other characters. Snake plays a similar role for Ocelot throughout MGS3, where he consistently shows strength of character, skill and devotion to duty, even in extreme circumstances. Snake is also able to see past any prejudice he might be expected to have towards Ocelot as an enemy operative and reaches him on a personal level. Their budding friendship, like Wyatt Earp and Doc Holliday's, is questioned by their respective associates and colleagues.

Doc's character shares multiple traits with the many iterations of Ocelot as he appears across the series: he is refined, duplicitous, cynical, a loner and a remarkable gunfighter. Wyatt Earp also says this to him:

"I hear you did some pretty fancy shooting, Doc."

The influence of all three westerns mentioned in MGS3 on Ocelot's character is clear: A Fistful of Dollars typified the shrewd cunning he is known for; The Magnificent Seven demonstrated his youthful pride and idolisation; and Gunfight At The OK Corral evoked the strong friendship and devotion that defined his life.

#metal gear solid #mgs #revolver ocelot #writing #these are all essential viewing for aspiring ocelot understanders

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totally-not-here-for-the-smut · 8 months

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So, @arcanavoid made me thinking about Lucio in their post

WELL THEN LETS TALK ABOUT LUCIO YOU BITCHES

Pleas keep in mind that I'm right now very drunk and I'm not a native speaker and the autocorrect for this phone can only do so much Also I'm in a different time zone so if you see this at, like 10 in the morning or whatever, no worries bc now is definitely night here and I also program my posts I have not a drinking problem thats why I cant hold my f-ing liquor

WELL THEN MY DEAR LUCIO and

WHY

as a person who is very close to people with serious mental illness, like i legit live with them

I THINK LUCIO'S ROUTE IS SO GREAT

Let's start with an assumption: we're all assholes. Somewhere in our life, maybe in the past, or present, or future, we are huge AH. It's not like we're evil and condemned to hell, it's just that as humans we're small, petty and miserable so we behave badly and are very selfish when big difficulties challenge us. Like, sometimes we manage to scramble enough willpower and common sense to act decently as we're afraid and suffering, but lots of times we don't and make shitty things. So here's my first point:

1. We all are a Lucio sometimes. Or often.

Like, way more than we want to admit. We're afraid, we're too full of ourselves, and we behave in petty ways. We're mean towards strangers, we feel happy in humiliating them and showing the world how better than anyone else we are. We need something bc we live in a world that doesn't grant basic human rights (food, shelter, health, safety and human connection), so we strain to get those things, sometimes at others' expenses. Then we tell ourself that those people deserved our scorn and malice because they're bad, and we tell us such lies because facing the guilt of what we've done is painful and complex.

We need to show ourselves we're better, so enjoy picking at others' mistakes without caring who they are in a whole (this is super easy on the internet). All this while low key ignoring what bad we're more or less responsible for.

And we are. Like, if you ever did buy something on sites like shein, you are actually exploiting poor people who are basically slaves. And you're keeping a blind eye on it.

But you know what? You're not evil for this. We're weak sometimes, we're tired, we have little time and really don't have the lucidity to think whether this stupid chicken breast is full of hormones and antibiotics or not. We're humans and we're small. Often we're sad, afraid and tired and we need a malicious self esteem bost.

Often, we're Lucio.

2. A flaming piece of trash can change. And doesn't need others' forgiveness to do so.

Did you notice how everyone is so eager to show of other people are wrong and bad and evil? That's because they, and we as well, need reassurance about how we're the hero of the story.

That's because we can't tolerate being the flaming piece of trash, because the the flaming piece of trash can't change and everyone hates them.

This idea is stupid.

It doesn't matter how low you fell. How many people you hurt, how many times you made the same stupid mistake or how many people deeply despise you. You still can change.

That's why is

Important

To have a Lucio route where it's shown he can choose to be better, no matter how deeply wrong his past deeds were.

The moment we understand this concept is the one our guilt becomes less heavy and we start being less judging of others. Granted.

This doesn't mean you're entitled to people's forgiveness - but the fact that YOU are willing to forgive yourself means that you can really change and forgive others. If some people won't forgive you, it will be fine, no need to hate them: you can always find new people to gift your better self to.

This is what happens to Lucio. Will Asra ever truly forgive him for making him and orphan and killing you? No. But this doesn't mean that Lucio will be a villain forever. He will be still able to change, become a good man and gift his goodness to the MC.

As MC says to Julian: you can always come back.

3. What it takes to change

Now, I'm in general rly humble when talking about mental health bc I'm no doctor nor therapist. But living with people who went through hell and managed to survive (and knowing people who sadly didn't), made me able to figure a couple of things. So, brace yourself. I'm about to give you the ultimate recipe of healing.

It takes two things:

Compassion and Accountability

When all is said and done, this things are the two main things it takes to change and heal. Compassion for believing you can change and deserve happiness, seeing the world through other people's eyes and accountability to motivate you into stop being a dick and owning the shit you did (so yeah, maybe you should stop blaming your parents for who you are, sry, but it doesn't serves your cause).

and there's one and only one way to get them:

Positive human connections.

That's it. When you go to the bone to it, that's how one can change, heal and survive.

It's reduced to the very bone, simple idea: the whole process is much more complicated and it's ok if you get lost in it. But at the very root, this is it.

And this is WHY Lucio's route it's so great:

MC shows compassion, because they don't recall him doing anything bad to them.

MC helps him being accountable. They doesn't shelter Lucio from his guilt, never.

MC believes in them but NEVER puts up with their shit

MC doesn't believe his lies and doesn't lie to them either. No games: they talk through everything, they're kind but firm and true.

MC helps him accept other people's scorn towards him

I love this route because it's the one where the MC is the most clever. There's a murder mistery? Let's ask the ghost of the murdered one who did it. Everyone is mad at him? Let them be. Not bc "he deserves it", but bc people are entitled to be mad at him and to their idea about him. He has troubles with his mother? Don't get between them. Listen, understand, let them unravel their shit. Ghosts are mad at him? Sit with him, but don't do his emotional weightlifting. Mc puts Lucio in front of his deeds and holds his hand as he deals with them.

Folks: THIS is how it's done irl.

4. No dumb justification & the danger of privilege

There are a lot of shows about "why villains are like this" that paint them as a poor misunderstood saint who was mistreated by their parents. Like in Once Upon a Time or the Disney Villain's Live actions. I hate that stuff because they distort the plot to make the villain a misunderstood anti heroe who was a victim all along, so he's justified.

Guess what: they're not. If you actions are evil there's no justification. No retelling of your story: you made very bad choice and were an AH and that's it.

This is what happens with Lucio: in his route his story doesn't gets to be retold. It's an honest story about how Lucio, the villain, can choose to be the better man and benefit from it. It's a story about the inherent dangers of Privilege:

Lucio's story shows how dangerous privilege can be: he wasn't hold accountable for his actions while he was alive, bc he was pretty, powerful and rich. He loses his privilege, he gets his ass kicked, he find motivations to change in his desire to be loved. I know irl folks who got to adulthood without having to face how shitty they were bc of social privilege. It literally kept them from changing, healing and be happy. So beware, folks. Your privilege might be harming you in the first place, and the day you will face who you truly are without it WILL come. The later, the worst.

So, this is why I love Lucio's route. It's relatable and helps us to find the courage to face our demons, knowing that we can change. Knowing that we can forgive ourselves and accept others' scorn. It WILL be hard, it WILL be painful, there WILL be consequences, but eventually it will be worth the hassle.

So, long live the goatman, for he can change. And so do we.

#the arcana #the arcana game #lucio morgasson #lucios route #the arcana files

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rainbowchaox · 12 days

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Yashiki and Mashita: Canon Moments Part 1

I wanted to delve more into analyzing canon to explain why Yashiki and Mashita are canon. Even if they are not outright said. This will be a multi-part essay going over the main two Death Mark games with an eye looking for gay subtext or just pointing out moments that can be conveyed as homoerotic/homoromantic. This will also have my personal bias thrown in so don’t expect it to be 100% by the books. My analysis on certain scenes will be my point of view (and people will disagree with some if not most of my takes. The best thing about how complicated both Mashita and Yashiki are is the various ways at looking at their characterization)

We start with Death Mark 1 where we get introduced to the basic premise. Yashiki and the Mark Bearers are cursed by spirits and have to confront said spirits in order to break the curse so they can live. What is so apparent about our protagonist Yashiki is his inner monologue is full of senses and sensations. From the start he is on his own wavelength how he sees the world. As his inner monologue goes into great details describing the scenes in front of him. Even if he wishes he could ignore the more grisly sights in front of him. This gives us a character that may not have the best social skills or understand how social cues work but he does understand people. He can learn how ones tick with only a couple hours with the hour. It’s this aspect why he and Mashita work so well.

The first character Yashiki meets that is alive is Mary. She seems to be benign and polite. And she puts Yashiki at ease despite the horrible situation Yashiki finds himself in. Not knowing who he is and having no memory either. She at the start is almost an angelic figure who Yashiki looks to for guidance. Only by the end of the game do we find out her true nature and that is malice. She has always been a devil pretending to be an angel. Compare her to Mashita. Mashita hides his good heart under his mask of sarcasm and rudeness. Mary and Mashita are foils to each other at least about their relationship to Yashiki.

From the start when we are introduced to Mary. There’s always been dependence from Yashiki. Yashiki has no clue who he is nor what his name is. He is scared and needs questions answered. And Mary just so happened to be there to answer said questions. He looks at her for what he needs to know. He listens to her and follows her orders. Not realizing he is being manipulated. He doesn’t realize he is nothing but a toy to her until Mary secrets can’t be hidden any longer. Meanwhile Mashita knows he is talented even if he acts otherwise. Mashita trusts him enough to consider him fit to be his partner. He knows Yashiki is his equal. Mary manipulates and takes advantage of Yashiki while Mashita uplifts Yashiki and praises his talents.

Yashiki even at the start is hesitating when deciding to trust Mary. He even says word for word “I decided to trust you”. His intuition is screaming at him to not trust her but he currently has no choice. Yashiki meanwhile didn’t hesitate trusting Mashita fully after meeting him. Even the way Mashita was introduced was very suspicious. Their trust grows naturally. And their trust is stronger for it. Yashiki doesn’t have to say he trusts Mashita for us to know he does. Mashita and Yashiki have a special relationship. Mashita even with his rough mouth cares immensely for Yashiki. So much so that he comes back to save Yashiki numerous times even if he puts himself in danger. He cares so much.

A trait that shows why Yashiki is so suitable for Mashita as a prospective partner (Romantic or not) is shown when Yashiki is introduced to Moe and Tsukasa. Yashiki pays attention to people's expressions and is overall pretty empathetic as a person. Even if he lacks social skills to take full advantage of this skill. The people he meets he knows them well. Even if a moment prior they were strangers. This is how Yashiki clearly sees the good in Mashita so quickly.

The first spirit we are introduced to in Death Mark is Hanahiko whose story we quickly learn is tragic. He was abused for being different and liking feminine things. Whether you see his story more being a transgender allegory or just him being different in terms of not following gender norms. He is Other and was hurt for it. And in Death Mark 2, The first spirit is Hanako of the toilet. Who was in love with her female friend. Both have clear queer themes and I personally do think this says a lot about Yashiki's suspected homosexuality. He does not live in a time where he can comfortably be who he is. People get seriously hurt when they stray from what is considered “normal”. I do think these spirits being part of Yashiki's journey does imply that he is not heterosexual.

When Mashita is first introduced to Yashiki, He looks over to Yashiki and snorts. He already figured out Yashiki. And knows that Yashiki is someone he can trust. Which is why he softens entering the car. Yashiki is worried about how Mashita was just lurking around in a basement suspiciously. It’s not just Mashita that gets Yashiki. And likes what he sees. It took one car ride for Yashiki to understand and trust him. He even says “Some people naturally put others on guard and even if there’s no particular ill will between them that’s the sort of person Mashita is”. He already knows Mashita so well.

Mashita with his brusque attitude also gets under Yashiki's skin in a good way. Yashiki can’t help but pay attention to him. Mashita has a strange charisma despite his rough attitude. It makes it hard for anyone to ignore him. Yashiki even says “I wasn’t planning on keeping a constant eye on him, but he is making it very hard not too”. Mashita is charming in his own way.

Mashita then answered a question that Yashiki had before he could even ask. Mashita knows Yashiki by now. Mashita is naturally gifted at reading people as part of his talents as an ex-detective. Also when Mashita showed he was also marked, he proclaimed it was OUR problem. He already considered himself part of Yashiki’s team from the start. Mashita has always been loyal.

And there’s a continuing trend of Yashiki noticing how Mashita feels by his expressions. When Mashita read the god awful principal wrote. Yashiki already knows Mashita isn’t happy because “That's what he says but he is not smiling at all. His eyes simmer with a quiet anger”. Yashiki pays so much attention to Mashita. So much he immediately clicks that he is suffering the Mark effects when he is.

Yashiki canonically grabbed Mashita wrist to chase after the rabbit inside H elementary. He wants to make sure Mashita is healthy and safe. He by then was already so attached. After Hanahiko was dealt with when Mashita learned that Yashiki still had the Mark he was concerned. And it’s hinted to be the primary reason he stayed for chapter 2. He was worried about Yashiki. Even if he had other reasons to investigate as well.

Mashita to me is personally written as a gay man. Especially how he explains the last bit of information about Hanahiko. “How his mother understood her son”. Despite his rough personality he empathized with the son not being accepted by others for being different. And being hurt by someone that should have protected him not punished him.

In chapter 2, Mashita stays, which surprises even Yashiki. Mary asked Mashita to stay but Yashiki doesn’t realize how important he is to Mashita and is confused why he did. For all his bad attitude Mashita didn’t want Yashiki to be alone. Also sorry but “Mashita got a bad mouth like usual” is very gay and flirty.

Something I noted during this chapter is that Masao Kimura the suicidal man Yashiki and company meet in the first after he calms down tells Yashiki that they should go out for drinks sometime before dying to Shimi-O. What’s interesting is the same chapter at the end Mashita tells Yashiki he would buy him a drink once he survives the Mark business. (Sure that he will find a way to survive. His belief never wavers and they eventually do have that drink)

The fact is even if you don’t bring Mashita along to investigate the forest. He comes to the forest (unmarked at this point) out of his own volition. His own desire to protect Yashiki. He willingly gets marked again in order to save Yashiki. He put his life yet again in danger to save a man he met only a day ago. This isn’t to say that Yashiki is any better. He defends Mashita words in his inner monologue by saying “Mashita didn’t mean it like that. You can only be blunt discussing this”. He is so quick to defend Mashita words.

This chapter is also the first time Mashita pushes a gun onto Yashiki. Which continues onto this series can be seen as a metaphor for Yashiki and Mashita relationship with their homosexuality. Mashita being the more confident in his sexuality the one giving the gun to Yashiki the one more shy and reserved with his sexuality. When Yashiki says he doesn’t know how to shoot a gun. Mashita immediately says “Well, whatever, if I’m there just leave the shooting to me” Mashita is already making himself into someone Yashiki can depend on.

After Shimi-O is solved, Mashita decides to tell Yashiki that he is leaving in the morning as well. Despite what he says I don’t think he is leaving because he doesn’t want to get hurt. Mashita is reckless as a person when it comes to his safety. He mainly decides to leave because he doesn’t want to be a burden that will cause more harm staying than leaving. He can’t do anything more for Yashiki. So he has to leave. And we do know how affected Yashiki is hearing that Mashita is leaving him. What can we say to Mashita is, changed your mind? You’re abandoning me? And I’ll miss you. Mashita reacts a bit flustered if you chose the last two. He either calls you bitter or a creep.

Even when Mashita is lying about his reasons he is leaving. He clenches his fist and really doesn’t want to leave Yashiki to struggle against spirits by himself. But he isn’t an idiot and knows he would become a burden for Yashiki to carry if he overstayed his welcome. He is actually one of the few companions that fully say farewell. Mashita then says “If you manage to escape your death I’ll buy you a drink sometime”. Mashita wants to stay in Yashiki life. And has full trust that eventually Yashiki will overcome The Mark and survive.

It’s canon that off screen they went out for drinks. Mashita did promise him he would buy him a drink after Yashiki survives the whole Mark business. This is the first inclination that they spend time together out of the cases. They actually like each other's company. It’s canon that Yashiki is closest to Mashita and Daimon. In chapter 6, Mashita admits he wants Yashiki to join him in being a private detective. Yashiki is talented and skillful when it comes to spiritual matters. Mashita already knows how good Yashiki is. Even if Yashiki's bad self esteem doesn’t let him see that fact himself.

Mashita comes in annoyed and complains about Yashiki telling Yasuoka about his office. Now he is drowning in spiritual requests even if Yashiki told Yasuoka in order to help Mashita with his new career. They bicker like an old married couple. Yashiki by now knows Mashita scarily well and even comments “Did he just hesitate? Mashita?” Because he knows Mashita never hesitates without cause. Mashita always is impulsive whenever he has a goal to achieve.

Mashita then stares right at Yashiki and tells him to take responsibility. Very normal heterosexual behavior from our grumpy detective. I will say this chapter setting is a love hotel in the red light district. This lends more credence to Yashiki being implied he is gay. As it’s normal for gay men to have their trysts in such hotels out of the public eye. A point I will go back later on, but Mashita (which is implied to be more comfortable with his sexuality) is bringing Yashiki to a love hotel of all things. Mashita is the one ordering Yashiki to investigate. Mashita is the one that is telling him to explore.

Yashiki even in his inner monologue says “This isn’t going to do anything good for my reputation” which to be fair in context is more about the fact he is an old single man in the middle of the red light district. But if looked at an angle where Yashiki is a gay man. This could mean he is scared of others finding out his true sexuality and his reputation suffering for it.

I will also note that Hiroo and Daimon along with Yashiki and Mashita are there at the start of the case. The four of them are waiting outside the love hotel. Daimon and Hiroo who is practically outright stated in Death Mark 2 to be a couple. And Yashiki and Mashita who are heavily implied they are together. The two canon “couples” are standing in front of a love hotel.

Speaking of, the whole CG in the dirty smoking area has Yashiki pay too much attention to Mashita smoking. The amount of attention Mashita receives in his inner monologue is concerning. I will also note that the way the CG is drawn is that the two men are closer physically to Yashiki. Showing that there’s a level of emotional distance between Hiroo and Yashiki. We later know that Daimon and Mashita are the two mark bearers closer to Yashiki. This shows that Yashiki is more distant in general with women. Yashiki in general is closer to men than women. And the relationships with men are much more emotionally close than the likes of those he has with women.

Yashiki shows again that he knows how Mashita ticks. He bluntly says that “He like that to everyone. He didn’t mean anything by it”. He defends Mashita to Hiroo who was rightfully angry by his rudeness. Not realizing that it’s clear that Mashita treats himself differently. Mashita is more kind when it comes to him. Yashiki doesn’t realize how special he is to Mashita though.

And later on in the chapter, when Mashita comes back to help. Mashita and Yashiki enter the love hotel. Almost like they are a couple looking somewhere to stay the night. Mashita treats Yashiki gently in his own way and says “Calm down. Take a deep breath” when Yashiki rightfully had a panic attack because of the horrors. Mashita made Yashiki listen to him and calm down. When possessed shou gets to the scene, Mashita shows how good he is again. Mashita shows he is always there to protect Yashiki. By the end of the chapter, Mashita literally saves Yashiki from falling to his death. Mashita is so worried and angry and he says “Idiot…Try putting yourself into my shoes”. Mashita cares so much about Yashiki. No one can say otherwise.

Mashita again shows how much he pays attention and demands he be the one that will drive. Rudely pointing out that Yashiki's hands are still shaking. They are also each other's foils. Mashita believes the dead shouldn’t interfere with the living and Yashiki to his core is sympathetic to both spirits and the living. This has been my first part of the essay. The second half will be death mark 2.

#death mark 2 #death mark #yashita #yashiki x mashita #kazuo yashiki #satoru mashita #essay #save me

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bisexualmultifandommess · 11 months

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I said yesterday that I was going to make queer headcanon posts for my favourite characters almost every day for pride month so:

Today’s character is Dave Lister from Red Dwarf!

Lister:

Lister didn’t really label himself as anything when he was very young as he didn’t really know the terms as he was surrounded at first by a few people who weren’t very lgbt friendly until he got a bit older and started getting into music and meeting people who felt more like him. All he knew was that he really liked girls and as he got older he started realising his feelings for guys too.

Lister came out as bisexual at first to his gran who was accepting to him. She was known to be very protective of him if anyone said anything against him.

The first boy he had a crush on was a another guy who was in his school. He was quite tall but well built and was shown to sometimes be a little smug at times due to being quite attractive and intelligent. Lister mainly liked him due to his looks but also thought when he wasn’t acting like a dick he was almost nice to talk to.

Lister isn’t the type to bring up his sexuality to people and kind of just lets people find out. Whenever someone finds out he pretends to be confused and act like he told them.

His friend group on Red Dwarf were a little confused when they found out because he always talked about Kochanski. Peterson was the most confused so Lister had to explain what bisexuality meant. Since his friends weren’t the brightest they didn’t really understand at first and made a few jokes but due to ignorance rather than any malice but eventually stopped once Lister makes it clear that some jokes make him a little uncomfortable. Despite not being the most educated on it they are accepting of him which despite putting on a facade of not caring really relieved Lister.

Lister had a massive crush on Kochanski for ages but at the same time for the first week or so had a small crush on Frank. He thought Frank’s looks and confidence was really attractive but didn’t really act on anything because he was higher up than him and he liked Kochanski. He still sometimes flirted with Todhunter lightly which Frank even returned at times though it was just a little fun.

When he first met Rimmer and was assigned to bunk with him on Red Dwarf he thought he was attractive too. He had a similar look to Todhunter so Lister started assuming he had a type since the boy he liked during school was similar too. He liked his curly hair and liked his height since he kind of likes height differences in his relationships whether it’s him being the taller one or his partner. It was only when Rimmer actually started talking that Lister was a little put off and their animosity started.

Despite not really getting along Lister still found Rimmer attractive which annoyed him. Sometimes when Rimmer wasn’t being a complete smeg head and wasn’t bossing him around he was almost nice. Lister was quite surprised with himself when he found himself catching feelings for Rimmer because he was just the complete opposite of himself and even though he was kind of his type he didn’t have the usual confidence that his other crushes have had. He also knew that Rimmer didn’t seem to like him that much either (spoiler alert: he did he just didn’t realise).

#these are just my headcanons :)#if you have anymore please add!!#I’ve only wrote a few because I didn’t want to make the post too long #and if anyone wants queer headcanons on their favourite characters I can do that too #red dwarf #dave lister #kristine kochanski #frank todhunter #arnold rimmer #rimster #rimmer x lister #lister x rimmer #lgbt #lgbtqa #pride #pride month #happy pride 🌈

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greeen-bean · 1 year

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Thinking about how the common outcome for childhood friends to lovers trope is something along the lines of “i don’t know who i am without you, i need to leave and learn who i am on my own to then come back and do this right”. And i’m thinking about Aled and Daniel.

Their relationship relies upon them having known each other for so long, there wouldn't be a relationship between them without that. But the knowing each other for so long is also the reason for a lot of the problems they face.

From my experience, being friends with/knowing someone for so long/from such a young age makes it so much harder to be open about the changes you are going through and realising things about yourself.

Obviously, as we grow up, we change a lot, in big and small ways, and this is of course a good things. But it can be very daunting to talk about these changes with other people, especially ones who have known you before these changed ever came about. Like, there’s a difference between saying “i used to do this/say this/act this way” to someone who has never seen you be that way, and having to say to someone “I am changing as a person”. It’s more vulnerable, and its scary because it gives the other person the power do shame you, to say no, to make you feel bad for trying to change. Whether this would actually happen or not is another question but the possibility/the fear of it is still there.

So, sometimes its easier, or or feels easier, to just not mention the changes, and to hide them away and ignore them so nobody has to question anything.

When in regards to Aled and Daniel, i think you can see this on both sides in different ways. Aled is pushing Daniel away so that he doesn't have to acknowledge the changes that are happening in his life, or to him, e.g., Aled realising hes Asexual and not wanting to confront that, so he pushes the entire relationship away until they have all but broken up. Aled wanting to wear weird clothes but doesn’t want to be judged or questioned for it so doesn’t, etc. He keeps Daniel at an emotional distance from him, only using him when he needs him (after Carys leaves and Aled needs away from his mum), because if he lets Daniel get to close, he will start to see all the changes he is going through. It isn't done out of malice, its just that Aled is scared of what will happen if Daniel knows the truth.

On the other hand, Daniel isn’t stupid, he knows that something is going on with Aled, he knows that they aren't as close as they used to be at the beginning of their relationship/before Carys left, but he doesn’t know why or what he can do about it. So he relies on how things were before it all like a lifeline for their relationship. The example i keep thinking of is Daniel bringing up Aled needing to cut his hair, Aled has (presumably) always had short hair, Daniel has always known Aled with short hair, so when it starts to grow out, Daniel keeps bringing it up as an olive branch of sorts, as some sense of normality when his whole relationship is flipping on its head. And Aled doesn’t tell Daniel he likes it long, he doesn’t tell Daniel anything, so Daniel is left picking up the scraps that are left behind to try and make his own conclusion to what is going one,this conclusion being, Aled doesn’t like him anymore but doesn’t was to hurt Daniel by breaking up with him.

And it hurts the reader (Read: Me) too from a shipping stand point. Because, you think, of all the people in Aled’s life who could be noticing these things/changes, it should be Daniel, the person who has known him so well and for so long. But Daniel doesn’t notice/understand because he isn’t a mind reader, he doesn’t notice because Aled doesn’t want him to. Because if Daniel notices then they have to talk about it all, and Aled doesn’t want that.

Then you have Francis. Francis is new. Francis doesn’t know Aled the way Daniel does. So Aled isn’t stuck in the same box with her, the box he has been in since their were kids. Hes able to express himself with his hair and his clothes in ways he hasn’t been able to with Daniel. in the same way he does to Uni and figures out his sexuality, he couldn’t do these things if Daniel was all he ever had, he needed to grow and become confident in these things on his own to then be able to turn around and explain it back to him.

And this isn’t Daniel’s fault, that Aled is in this box. Realistically Daniels in one too in Aled’s mind. But that’s what happens when you know someone for that long, you pick up information from all throughout their life and put them together to make the person in front of you. I also believe that after the book, when Daniel goes of to uni, he will change a lot as well, without having Aled constantly there he will be able to experiment in his own way too, and in the end their relationship will be stronger because of it.

I don’t quite no the point i’m trying to make, or if there is one but yeah, anyway, hope this all made sense, have a good day.

#I think i had other points to make too #like how its the same with Aleds relationship with his mum in a way #like he cant figure himself out and change whilst living with her either #and i wanted to mention about how Aleds school friends #the heartstopper gang #don't know who daniel is #like charlie didnt know who aleds childhood firend was #but i can make that post another time #also want to say this isnt me bashing on daniel or aled #or their relationship #they mean to much to me actually #but i hope this all made sense #daniel jun #aled last #radio silence #alice oseman #daled

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laughingsour · 6 months

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The truth about the FNAF franchise.

With it being Halloween and many people rushing to the cinema to watch scary movies I feel I should talk about Five Nights at Freddy's and lay out what I trully think about the franchise and it's fandom.

I didn't really get into FNAF until a couple of months before the first trailer of the movie dropped, I was not much into horror games and despite Freddy's popularity I didn't particulary cared about it. Until I found out about the main villian William Afton who I found to be extremly fun as a bad guy even if the fandom thought his "I always come back" thing was getting boring.

Long story short, I really got into the franchise after that and the wierd elements of the child-like innocence coupled with sheer malice was really suited for my tastes, but shorlty after the first movie trailer dropped I found some comment that mentioned a controversy regarding the franchise creator, Scott Cawthon.

It didn't elaborate but I decided to look into it and I found out that a huge portion of Scott's earnings was donated to various Republican party candidates. In other words, people like Donald Fucking Trump.

You can make a search for it yourself if you don't belive me, but those are facts no one can dispute at this point. And it was expossed about three years ago. Hell I'll even share a few links. And if you want to make an even deeper look into it then by all means go ahead, one source is not enough for a full research into things:

I don't live in the US, but it's still my buisness to oppose bigots like those guys who would gladly see it that LGBTIQ+ people aren't allowed to exist. Regardless of being part of that group or not, it still is basic human decency to oppose those who treat others like a plague to be exterminated.

You heard me, and I don't take that back. You don't need a death camp to call it that because a genocide is by definition a systematic erradication of a certain or various groups of people, regardless of it being overt or open.

That is why when I found out what happened I refused to go see the movie no matter how much I wanted to go see it because a part of the box office earnings would naturally go to Cawthon who, I'm sorry to break it to you, does NOT regret donating to all those bigots and will definitely do it again.

You know why? Because he will hide behind the "fun harmless horror video game" franchise that he created to get people to stop persuing him.

Now of course, I don't blame anyone who spent years and money on the franchise before all of that went public, people like Cawthon are exceedingly good at hiding how horrible they are as people and it's not your fault that you were fooled into beleving they weren't.

But after it all went public, a lot people either ignored that and turned a blind eye by spouting the same rethoric he tried to use or straight up acting as if it didn't happen in the first place. It's part of the reason why I didn't learn about it until a few months had passed.

So it's not a matter of what happened before it went public, but how the fandom reacted about it and how petty they were and what they still support even knowing the truth.

Sorry to say it but you can't call yourself an ally while still supporting bigots.

If you were new to the franchise like I was and this is how you found out, I'm sorry for the rude awakening, specially if you found this post shortly after seeing the movie. But it needed to be said.

#fnaf movie #fnaf #five nights at freddy's #scott cawthon #fuck scott cawthon #blumhouse #halloween #halloween movie #reblog please #this needs to be addressed

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mdhwrites · 7 months

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I think the main reason why people see Amity and Hunter as more Sasha esque than Boscha may also lie in the screentime distribution. Boscha's not that prominent and only had like two episodes where she was relevant after season 1 and wasn't exactly that important in the overarching arcs the same way Amity and Hunter are on TOH or Sasha on Amphibia. Plus Boscha barely even had time for a redemption aside from some slight hidden depths in For the Future, but there still isn't much on Boscha's redemption due to how close it is to the end so it does make it harder to compare her to Sasha.

Oh, I 100% get this. Me going 'Boscha is TOH's Sasha' is not me trying to say people are idiots. I might have problems with how fandoms analyze things (and trust me this isn't just a TOH thing. I lived on the living room couch of a Trekie and Star Wars fan for two years while the sequel trilogy and Discovery come out. Online criticism fucking sucks.) but this isn't one of those cases. I have a unique perspective as a fan of Boscha so I'm far more likely to even think of her at all versus any other fan of the series, let alone in a positive light like in comparing her to Sasha. Then again, it's mostly a comparison through the fact that they do share vices as much as they could share virtues. I am weird like that though because my writing caused me to need to analyze the scraps we had.

I... pause on saying the lack of redemption makes her hard to compare. It makes it so less people will care because if you don't have a capital a Arc fandoms just kind of ignore you (and make sure it's capitalized or be ignored like S1 Anne) but I don't think it makes comparison harder. Not when Sasha's arc is not her personality or character. It affects her character but who she is stays consistent. Even post redemption, she's coming up with strategies and asserting force because Sasha is a forceful person. She is a leader and she cuts through bullshit, hence why Commander Anne has her obviously fighting against herself by trying to act like those aren't still a part of her character. It's actually part of what's great about the therapy angle for her because she is absolutely your therapist, NOT your friend and she will be the first to make that clear.

It's not like Boscha and Sasha have no similarities post Sasha's redemption after all. Sasha still gets pissed when people bring up things she's sensitive about and will absolutely throw down if you challenge her on her beliefs. She actually GAINS a similarity in being willing to listen to Anne versus just about anyone else, just like Boscha listens to Amity while nobody else. That's because it's STILL Sasha. Her redemption wasn't about her erasing who she was.

Her redemption, which is part of what is both good about her redemption and redemptions in general, is from a shift in perspective, not in character. She didn't suddenly become a good person. She always had the capacity for good. Her encouragement of Percy can even show that. She could uplift people even back then into being their best selves but it was purely for selfish reasons. Others didn't factor in beyond how they could serve her. Post True Colors though, that changed. She decided others mattered and so she started helping them as best she could. Zuko's shifting definition of honor is like this as well.

I'm kind of sad that in The Power of Love, my story where I wrote Boscha first, I never really finished her arc. Her shift in perspective was in not needing everyone to approve of her in some way anymore. To not have to fight everyone who insulted her or assert dominance over her surroundings. She found peace in just being herself. You actually had to give her a reason to kick your ass instead of doing it just because people fearing her still meant they respected her... But she'd still kick your ass if you did something that pissed her off. She still would call people names because she's kind of a bitch like that but there's less malice there, stuff that did genuinely start happening the story already as her arc progressed in stages. It also means though that her confidence is far more honest. She doesn't need your approval. She's awesome so you can go fuck yourself and if someone else is seen as awesome too? Good for them but it doesn't matter to her anymore so she doesn't need to do anything about them.

And I bring that up in part to show that you can go a lot of different ways with a redemption besides just making them a generically good person. That is not what redemption or growth should be unless that is genuinely who the person always was and then... Why are we redeeming someone who is apparently kind of boring? Their personality, their details, etc. like that should matter both to their villainy, their arc and who they are afterwards.

And well... I have kind of complained a LOT about TOH's arcs for being about character replacement rather than growth and so long as that stays true, just about no one in that show could ever even compare to Sasha. Not when post redemption, they barely have enough personality, let alone consistency, to reflect the complex teen. You have to look at the abandoned characters like Boscha instead for one that can accidentally even try to step to Amphibia's game.

=======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

#the owl house criticism #Boscha #sasha waybright #Amphibia

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