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wileys-russo · 8 months

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toilet paper party II a.russo x reader

some tooth rotting gf lessi fluff to try and cure all of our post game depression, with a dash of supportive best friend and arsenal icon lotte wubben-moy ofc

toilet paper party II a.russo x reader

"-she's going to blame herself again, it's like the world cup all over again." you sighed quietly to lotte who was sat beside you on the bench, both of you wincing as the ball was smacked away and saved as alessia kicked it, and unfortunately it of course had to be the deciding penalty.

"but she doesn't need to, she kept us in the game she-" lotte tried to justify but with a look from you she fell silent, nodding in agreement. the two of you knew alessia well enough to know that though she shouldn't blame herself, she already would be.

"come on, time to start damage control." lotte sighed tiredly, slinging an arm over your shoulder as the two of you joined the team for the thank you lap and clap.

as much as you wanted to rush right to your girlfriends side to comfort her, crushing defeat already plastered on her face, you knew she needed some time and space. you also knew that you needed to give the rest of the team the opportunity to build up their own relationships with the blonde, and consoling her after a loss though never pleasant was a way for bonds to strengthen.

sure enough katie and lia were quickly plastered tightly to alessia's sides, lia squeezing her shoulder comfortingly as katie was gripping onto the younger girls hands tightly as she talked at her.

you weren't close enough to hear what was being said but you'd known the irishwoman long enough to know she would be doing her very best to remind alessia of all that she achieved this game rather than the one thing she missed.

it made your heart soar to see one half of your life mold with the other so successfully.

both you and alessia had been incredibly nervous for how the team would take the two of you dating when she was signed, with only a handful of them you were the closest to knowing about it prior to the announcement of her signing.

however besides the relentless teasing and jokes about how obviously smitten you were with one another, it had been smooth sailing and your favorite blonde had been welcomed into the team with hugs, grins and open arms.

you'd both of course made a pact about how you'd interact and communicate with one another around the team in professional environments, this was your job and a workplace after all. though as said you were smitten with one another, so some days you were a little less strict about this than others.

it wasn't until you were all in the change rooms after the loss that you finally had the chance to be with alessia, a lot of the team and coaching staff having pulled her aside to try and build her back up. affirming she had nothing to feel bad over, keeping you feeling grateful that your second family had her best interests at heart.

even jonas had taken her one on one and provided some well intended feedback about ways she could approach things a little different next time, and reminded her firmly that penalties were the worst way to decide a game, she had nothing to be sorry or beat herself up for.

after all the majority of the girls, yourself and your girlfriend included, had played in the world cup just over a month ago. and without a pre season there was still a lot of work to be put in before you'd all be up and running as one cohesive unit, and now at least you had the time to focus on that if you had to draw one positive from all of this.

however the break of time in between the final whistle and the team huddle to now the change room debrief had given you and lotte some valuable time to brainstorm ways you could try to cheer the blonde up, and you almost had a plan in motion.

half the girls had already filed out of the room and headed for the bus, or were spending a little time talking to the dwindling group of fans waiting eagerly by the exit, you all had around forty minutes until you were scheduled to depart.

you didn't say anything as you sat beside your girlfriend on the bench by her locker, the striker clearly lost in her own thoughts as she jumped slightly when she felt your warm hand land gently on her knee.

still nothing needed to be said as your eyes softened and hers conveyed utter defeat and exhaustion, long blonde hair slightly damp from the quick shower she'd taken in an attempt to wash away the immense guilt wracking her body.

your lips curled into a half smile seeing she'd tugged on your travel hoodie, having stolen it out of your kit bag as you were side tracked whispering away in the halls outside with lotte.

your smile only widened when your girlfriend wordlessly dropped her travel shirt and hoodie in your lap for you to put on later, the blondes head coming to slump on your shoulder as her long arms wrapped lazily around your torso.

you grabbed one of her hands with yours, intertwining your fingers and lovingly brushing your thumb against her knuckles. your other hand rubbed circles into the small of her back and you felt her body heave a long and tired exhale as she crumpled into you.

"i'm really proud of you lessi, i hope you know that." you whispered to her quietly, sharing a small smile with katie and jen as they walked past the two of you, the older girls looking on somewhat proudly seeing your girlfriend curled into your side as you were obviously trying to comfort her.

though it also must have looked quite awkward given the striker was a good foot or two taller than you, and you knew if she stayed in this position for too long she'd be rewarded with a stiff neck and back tomorrow.

"my golden goal scoring girl." you mumbled sincerely, the blonde squeezing your intertwined hands in a silent thank you before pulling herself up. "have a quick shower and i'll meet you on the bus tesoro." the italian nodded behind her to the showers before pressing a short but sweet kiss to your lips, grabbing her belongings and heading out of the change room with lotte.

showered and changed you felt an immediate and immense sense of calm settle over you as you clutched at the red material and inhaled deeply, senses drowned in the comforting aroma of your girlfriend.

sweet notes of lavender and bergamont from her favorite body mist that was used every game day, as well as the more subtle hints of green apple and roses from her shampoo. due to your height difference your body was swallowed in your girls shirt and hoodie, but you never minded.

given that for the majority of your relationship you'd been doing distance in some way with playing for different clubs, only really having proper quality time in the off season or during national camps. the ease and comfort of stealing one anothers clothes had become tradition, and it felt like a warm hug from the taller girl anytime you wore something that you knew was hers.

noticing you were one of the last to leave you hurried to collect and pack your belongings, tripping over caitlin's boots she'd left behind you grabbed them with a roll of your eyes and headed out of the stadium.

you took a few quick pictures and flashed a pearly white smile with a soft thank you to the last few fans hanging around before ascending the steps of the bus.

you couldn't help but laugh quietly at the scenes before you. beth was as usual on her karaoke machine, clearly trying to up everyone's moods by belting out an incredibly tone deaf version of river deep mountain high as she danced her way up and down the aisles.

some of the team were clapping along in encouragement while others had headphones on and were tucked away in their own world, clearly reflecting on the match that had been and what it now meant for you all as a team.

though beth seemed to respect this and only engaged with those who seemed willing participants of her chaos.

"you'd forget your head if it wasn't attached to your body foordy." you teased the australian as you offered up her boots, the girls eyes widening as katie cackled beside her and she elbowed the irish woman before accepting the boots, stating over and over that she owed you one which you playfully affirmed you'd not forget.

the smile remained on your face as you spotted alessia halfway down the bus, sat in front of lotte and across from viccy and cloe. the striker was chatting away to the small group with a much more relaxed demeanor, small smile on her face as she seemed in decent spirits.

her features brightened as she noticed you making your way toward her, of course wearing her hoodie.

"i didn't know we were allowed to change our numbers y/l/n? 23 now are you?" viccy teased, instantly noticing you were wearing your girlfriends clothes as you flipped her off, shuffling past alessia and dropping down into the vacant window seat beside her.

"my favorite 23." alessia turned her head and murmured quietly with a smile, kissing your cheek fondly as she tugged your legs to drape over hers.

"whose wearing my missing shoes too it would seem." she shot you a knowing look as admittedly you might have previously lied about not knowing the whereabouts to the adidas trainers, which were a favorite pair of the blonde.

"good news, i found them!" you smiled innocently, head thumping back gently against the window as you turned your body more to the side to get comfortable.

a few more minutes of chatter among you all and everyone had boarded, beth finally ceasing her verbal abuse to your ears in the form of her singing, instead joining lia, gio, frida and lina in a heated game of blackjack.

the engine roaring to life the bus was to take you back to the hotel where you'd all pack and have dinner together before heading off to germany tonight on a late night flight.

"can i ask a stupid question?" you asked your girlfriend quietly once everyone else had settled and she nodded, her attention now focused back solely on you as she absentmindedly traced shapes on your bare legs which laid in her lap, goosebumps arising along your tanned skin at her gentle touch.

"how are you feeling baby?" you asked somewhat cautiously, knowing it was stupid considering the loss you'd all just taken. "can i get back to you on that a little bit later love?" alessia replied with a somewhat pained smile as you nodded reassuringly, a comfortable silence falling between the two of you as she offered you one of her airpods.

you both busied yourself making a shared playlist for the flight later tonight, already having chosen to sit next to one another as you'd opted to sit with other team mates on the flight to sweden, and given the late time of night you both knew you'd likely want to sleep during the journey.

you glanced down to your phone in your lap as lotte sent you an influx of messages, confirming everything seemed to be moving along well for your little plan to lift alessia's spirits even more.

you poked your head over the top of your seat and gave her a thumbs up when your girlfriend wasn't looking, and before you knew it the bus had pulled into the hotel.

you both took your time getting off, allowing those who were in a rush to hurry forth as you dawdled, chatting with lia as the older girl dropped down into the seat in front of the two of you.

but once you were finally all off and had grabbed your belongings, the plan begun to come into affect.

"hey russo! come play a few rounds of cards in our room." katie called from a few feet away once you strode into the hotel lobby, an offer which though was sincere, was also set up by you and lotte to give the two of you a little alone time.

"come on, i heard the united girls had some sort of a poker cult going. let's see what you're made of then!" the irish woman grinned teasingly at the striker who hesitated and glanced toward you by her side.

"go on baby, she needs the humbling." you encouraged softly, poking her sides as she nodded with a soft smile, kissing your cheek and hurrying off after katie who subtly gave you a thumbs up behind the strikers back before disappearing into the elevator.

"we'll do it in my room in case she comes to yours looking for you, katie just said she'll try to keep her occupied for about a half hour or so. then we have a few hours till dinner!" lotte recounted as you nodded along and the two of you headed up toward her and alessia's shared room.

again with it being both of your first away games you and your girlfriend had opted not to room with one another, again giving her the chance to bond a little more with the team and not flaunt your shared relationship in everyone's face.

"okay, operation toilet paper party is a go." "lots that is not the name we agreed upon." "maybe, but you have to admit operation cheer up lessi just doesn't have the same catchy ring to it." "whatever you say wubben-moy."

it was down to the wire but the two of you just managed to pull it off, giving a satisfied nod at your efforts as katie messaged to say alessia was on her way back to her room as you'd planned, jen informing her that you were doing some media before dinner to assure she didn't head to yours looking for you.

"ready?" lotte mouthed and you nodded as you both watched the light click from red to green as alessia swiped her card in the door, pushing it open.

"congratulations lessi!" you and lotte both yelled loudly with a cheer, alessia jumping and clutching at her chest in shock from the sudden unexpected fright.

though once the messy hastily cut up homemade confetti came raining down upon her, her face morphed into a slightly confused smile, which only widened seeing the rushed half hazard toilet paper hung around the room as makeshift streamers.

"what is all this?" alessia asked with a small laugh of surprise.

"it's a toil-" lotte started as you elbowed her sharply with a firm look. "it's for you. a congratulations you scored your first goal for arsenal and are currently the leading goal scorer of the team with two epic goals that kept us in the game party!" you rambled out in one breath.

"i tried telling her the name was too long, but we both know how stubborn she is." lotte sighed dramatically with an eye roll making alessia laugh. "hey!" you frowned in offence, shoving the taller bruntte lightly.

"but regardless, congratulations!" you and lotte gave another cheer, throwing your other handfuls of confetti though with yours was done with poor aim as it landed in the blondes face.

"sorry." you whispered with an apologetic wince, taking a step forward and plucking off a few stray pieces of confetti which had stuck to mouth.

"guys." alessia breathed out, biting her bottom lip as a few tears welled up in her bright baby blue eyes. "hey don't cry! this is a happy moment, something to celebrate. that second goal was a worldie less." lotte assured with a soft smile.

"yeah baby you crushed it. and its only our second game! the droughts been broken and the flood gates are open and you're going to be a goal scoring machine." you affirmed, lotte nodding along in eager agreement.

"a force to be reckoned with!" "the italian stallion." "the russonator!" "the golden boot goddess." "taking names and kicking goals!"

your girlfriend let out a half sob half laugh at the assortment of nicknames, reaching out to the both of you for a hug which you both gladly allowed her to pull you into, lotte rubbing her back as you kissed her cheek.

"you're both the best. thank you!" alessia smiled, clearly overwhelmed with emotion as you reached up to tenderly wipe away her tears with the sleeve of your hoodie, making lotte aww as you rolled your eyes.

"oh and we have snacks! because what toilet paper party doesn't have snacks." lotte remembered, gesturing to the somewhat strange assortment of food laid out on the coffee table.

"lotte that is not the name we agreed on!" you huffed with a frown at her words, alessia tugging you into her and kissing the side of your head affectionately with a quiet laugh, mumbling how much she loved you in your ear.

"we don't technically know what most of it is. stina sort of went door to door collecting for us from everyones mini bar, and she said they all taste good!" lotte shrugged, rubbing the back of her neck as you all surveyed the swedish treats in front of you.

"we have a couple hours before dinner to snack, we have pitch perfect loaded and we grabbed extra pillows from reception so we can be extra comfy." you explained, alessia crumbling internally at how much obvious thought and care had been put into this.

"correction she stole some extra pillows from reception." lotte teased as you stuck your tongue out and the girl excused herself to use the bathroom, encouraging you both settle in and begin the movie.

"well hi." you mumbled against alessia's lips with a laugh as the striker pulled you into a searing kiss the moment lotte closed the bathroom door. "babe!" you laughed again as she easily picked you up, wrapping your legs around her waist as she bear hugged you as tight as she possibly could.

"i love you so very much lessi baby, you're amazing. you know that right?" you cupped her face and pressed your forehead to hers, reaching out to gently swipe away a loose tear which carved its way down her cheek.

"i can't-baby i don't know what to say." alessia managed to stammer out, still overcome with a waterfall of emotions. "you don't have to say anything, i just want you to feel supported and appreciated. without you coming on and changing the game we wouldn't have even stood a chance yeah? you alessia mia teresa russo are brilliant."

"god i'm so fucking in love with you." the blonde breathed out, eyes burning with a loving passion, the taller girl admiring you as if it was the first time she'd ever laid eyes on you.

"aw i love you both too!" lotte clapped sarcastically, throwing a pillow at the two of you with a groan and collapsing onto the bed as alessia placed you back down on your feet.

the two of you soon joined her, opening some of the swedish snacks as lotte clicked play on the movie.

"cheers to a successful toilet paper party!" "lotte for the one hundreth time that is not what we agreed on calling it!" "hey i don't know amore mio it is the first toilet paper party i've ever been to but it seems successful." "alessia! don't encourage her, whose side are you on?" "best toilet paper party ever!" "i simply cannot stand either of you."

#woso x reader #alessia russo x reader #engwnt #alessia russo #woso #woso imagine #woso fanfics #woso blurbs #alessia russo imagine #lotte wubben moy #arsenal wfc #arsenal women #awfc x reader

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nunalastor · 2 months

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Okay, more Aus and general wholesomeness to help combat the cursed inbox content (TBH, I feel like I should start signing these with an emoji. I’ve sent you like pauses to scroll through your blog and count the anon I know I sent, 20-ish!?!? Ugh, I didn’t think I had the brain rot that bad. Guess not. Any emojis that are free?

AU: For whatever reason, Alastor’s mum comes to visit. Whether its as an angel or time travel shenanigans is unclear. But everyone basically jumps at the chance to explain just how horrible Alastor is. All except Lucifer, who pulls her aside and tells her that while her son isn’t prefect, he isn’t heartless. He’s saved my daughter, multiple times. He’s the one who called be out on being an absent parent. He supported her when I wouldn’t. He respects women so much it’s a defining part of his characterization. He treats Nifty well, even when most people don’t and are creped out by her. He doesn’t lash out at Angle for his suggestive comments (much) because he knows that’s just what Angle is use to. He’s working on a way to own Angle’s soul instead of the man who’ll keep abusing him. And yes he picks fights and embarrasses Vox, but he never starts them. He’s dragged Lucifer out of depressive states and dealt with him at his worse that he won’t let even Charlie see. Alastor’s mum leaves knowing that while her son isn’t prefect, he is doing what he thinks is best, and he is loved.

AU, ft. Helluva Boss: Rather than run IMP, Blitzo works as Lucifer’s bodyguard. How did he end up in that position? Well, he met Alastor and while they do not get along, Alastor respects that he tries to be a good father. The imp soon becomes a part of their small missed matched family, and is the only one who tell RadioApple to their face that they were not, in fact, just friends. He also likes to tell them that they don’t pay him enough to deal with their drama. RadioApple catches word of Blitz messy love life and decide its only far to meddle like he did. They are both, really really bad at it though.

AU, Human: Lucifer is a teacher. The class knows he was married and divorced, and they have reason to suspect that he’s seeing someone again based on what his daughter Charlie has said. They don’t know for sure until they have to switch to Zoom because of the plague. Unforatnely for them, their teachers partner is very good at not being caught on camera. The only thing they’ve seen of him is a flash of a red coat and a charming voice.

General HCs: Alastor and Lucifer can see each other from their rooms, if they stand at the right angle. They make a game out of trying to communicate with each other from across the hotel with hand gestures or magic. It’s pretty hit or miss most of the time. They also send paper airplanes to each other from across the roof.

Lucifer manages to sneak a rubber duck onto Alastor’s person. Where he hides it I’m not quite sure, but it is hidden. Alastor himself doesn’t know about it, but his Shadow does. It doesn’t tell him. The duck is a means of protection and when Alastor is ambushed by the Vees while healing from his wound from the final, he explodes with magic and knocks them all out, does serve damage to the road and building around it and teleports the deer demon back to the hotel. Alastor tells him to never do it again. He is ignored, and the defense ducks are regularly placed on him.

Alastor can melt with his shadow, but what people don’t know is that he can also blend in with other people’s shadows. It's easiest if they know and consent to him being there though. Lucifer has no problem with this, and Alastor takes great delight in scaring people by popping out of the king’s shadow. It also allows him to leave the pride ring, though he can’t leave the shadow, and he can’t stay in the shadow for very long if outside.

so many!! def sign with an emoji - or even submit as yourself or post to your blog with a link i can reblog so people can follow you!

#hazbin hotel #radioapple #alastor #appleradio #radio apple #apple radio #lucifer #headcanon #nunalastor asks

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creedslove · 5 months

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WHO KNEW? 💍💔 - PART THREE

No outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader

"You took my hand, you showed me how

You promised me you'd be around (...)

I took your words and I believed in everything you said to me (...)

If someone said three years from now, you'd be long gone, I'd stand up and punch them out, 'cause they're all wrong

I know better, 'cause you said forever, and ever, who knew?"

Summary: you and Joel try to handle what happens after you both slept together and a revelation brings the truth about the nature of your relationship with Joel

• This is the third part of the small series: Who Knew? 💍💔 (PART ONE | PART TWO) which was also inspired by this amazing HEADCANON request

Warnings: angst, broken hearts, mentions of divorce, mentions of infidelity, fluff, age gap (Joel is four to five years older than reader and the time skip is 12 to 14 years (Sarah's age) but feel free to imagine whatever you want), smut, oral sex (f! receiving/m!receiving) piv, dirty talking, discussions of relationships

A/N: alright besties, I really don't know where this chapter came from, I had sworn I wouldn't write continuations of this story, but here I am, with a serious case of Joel Miller brain rot and all I could think of was him! I love this story with all my heart and I don't know if this chapter is consistent or not, as it was written through several days and I poured my feelings into it, but days change and so do feelings so hehehe, also, I may or may not have been a little too horny for Joel xD, anyway, I hope you beautiful besties like the story ❤️

12.3k words

Waking up by Joel's side was something you could've sworn it would never happen, it would only become a distant memory as the years advanced after the divorce; you thought maybe you would think about it every so often, when nostalgia got the best of you, if you felt lonely at times or maybe even the moments you would spend next to your ideal future husband, a man worthy of you and your love, someone who would actually treat you exactly how you deserved it, who wouldn't run away with the first willing whore he could find and build a life with her, the life that used to be yours, and was supposed to. No, that ideal husband would never steal from you, not your happiness, your beauty or your youth, as much as you closed your eyes and tried picturing this ideal, ethereal man, you were haunted by your ex-husband. It was his smile that came to your mind when you thought of this bittersweet fantasy; his hands that gripped your body, it was him. You realized your deepest wish was to have Joel as that husband; in an alternative universe where he wasn't a jerk, instead, he would be the perfect, sweet and hard-working husband, just like he used to in the beginning, and you both would love and support each other, building up a life, a family and a home together. That was how things were supposed to go, but everyone knew the end of that story.

What nobody except you and Joel knew, was the plot-twisted epilogue of your story with Joel. Very often, you thought of your relationship as a closed book, a shitty, depressing romance novel that had its indignant ending written and done, with no space to fix things up… until your return to Austin and things simply started to happen. You refused to believe it was a new chapter or a new beginning, quite the opposite, as much as your rational said had begged and screamed not to do it, not to get close to Joel and you simply went there and did it, now it begged you to put an end to it, your mind told you the night you'd spent together was just scratching that maddening itch and nothing more. It would be easy to pretend nothing had happened: Tommy had left shortly after the cops arrived at your place and headed to his girlfriend's, according to Joel. Sarah was absolutely clueless and had no idea what was going on, especially after both you and her dad had put an end to her efforts of setting you both up. All you had to do was to convince Joel of the same: it was a mistake, it shouldn't happen again.

But then, at the same time, why was it so good to wake up next to him? In fact, next to him was an understatement, as you were all over him. Safely tucked into his arms during the night, you had switched positions several times like you often did when you slept, but Joel always kept you at arms length, refusing to let go of you no matter what. It shouldn't feel this good, but it did, and even when morning came and it was time to get up, you pretended you didn't really have to. It was your secret, no one would know nor judge you if you stayed a little longer in his bed, what was the worst that could happen, after all? So the moment you felt Joel stirring right behind you, your eyes closed shut and you relaxed your body as best as you could so he would think you were asleep. It was quite stupid, you were aware, but suddenly you felt shy to be awake in his presence?! It was odd, but you didn't know how to act exactly… were you supposed to kiss? Act as a continuation of the night before or straight up pretend nothing happened? Should you begin ‘the talk' with Joel?! You didn't even know what you were going to say, so instead, pretending to be dead, well actually, asleep, was definitely a better plan. Joel hadn't changed in all those years, you recognized and anticipated every single move he would make; it started by his soft groans the moment he fully woke up, the hesitation he probably felt the moment he eyed you there and quickly the memories of the night before filled him entirely. His morning erection was hard pressed against your ass and that was another difficult part of the equation taking place in your mind at that moment; all it would take you was wiggling your ass a little and you both could start your day in a very fun way. It was tempting, and while you baffled yourself whether to do it or not, you felt Joel again. The way he gently placed his hand on your arm, caressing it up and down, almost in a ghostly touch, a bit afraid of scaring you away; to Joel, you were like a beautiful, delicate butterfly flying into his life, making things prettier for him, but also so easily scared off. He couldn't afford to have you fly away from him once more, not that time. His hand went to your naked stomach, stroking it softly, he enjoyed the butter-like feel of your skin under his hand. After all the cuts, bruises and dirt from hard work, it was a nice change to be able to touch you. He'd had his fair share of touching beautiful women, but none of them would ever compare to you. You were naked under his touch, entirely for himself, a dream that came true at that moment and yet it seemed way too good to be real. Hands that stroked your body leaving a trail of goosebumps over your sensitive skin, as he nuzzled your shoulder, taking some strands of hair away from your neck, he let his stubble beard scratch it softly, lips connecting to your skin, in gentle and silent pecks, ones that made you bite your lips not to moan too loud, even if the goosebumps insisted on appearing, hardening your nipples and sending a wave of lust down your core. Joel had his good ear to the mattress, not hearing if you were letting out small, sexy sounds but he could see the visible signs of his caress on you. He wanted more of it, he woke up with hunger, more like starvation and it was for you, your body, your touch, your presence. He wanted you, and he would have you, not only that morning, but forever, by his side.

“I know you're awake” Joel mumbled against your skin, you could feel his teeth nibbling you, making you squeal softly and moan at his touch, you turned around facing him and raised your eyebrow, heart melting at how adorable Joel's messy bed hair was, even if it was a little grayer now, it still made him look so handsome, you couldn't hold yourself back but caress his curls gently.

“How did you know I was awake?” You questioned him and felt his teeth scraping your collarbone instead of actually answering your question. It didn't take very long for Joel to straddle you, pinning you against the mattress as he took in all of you. You were beautiful, gorgeous, you were his. At least that was what he wanted to tell himself, but it didn't matter the future, not then, because at that very moment you belonged to him and only him. You lay under Joel, your breathing accelerating as you didn't know exactly what to do or what to expect, crashing your lips together, you tugged at his hair - you loved Joel's hair so much - and felt his rough hands running even more freely through your body. One knee on each side of you, preventing you from moving as he stared down at you, your body being the most beautiful piece of art he'd ever laid eyes on. Joel Miller was a man sinking deep further into his passions and he couldn't even hide it or pretend it otherwise. His mouth went for your neck, then down your collarbone, your breasts, so beautiful and tempting as they'd always been, time he'd been so kind to you, and now he appreciated it. He kissed your breasts gently at first, getting to your nipples, they were always so hard and sensitive and it was all for him. Lips wrapping around them, his tongue flicking then gently as you tugged even harder and pulled his curls gently. The way Joel made you feel was always something else, it was so stupid to try to fight that, at least while you were pinned down by his strong, sexy body. When he finally let go of your breasts, he kept moving his tortuous path south down you. His lips were dancing over your stomach, he loved that part of you and had lost track of how many times he'd daydreamed about your figure looking round while you carried his baby Miller inside. He enjoyed picturing it, another life coming out of you, a baby that would be half you and half him, that would bring Sarah the title of ‘big sister’ and seal the happy ending of your story in which you would become Mrs.Miller once more, for real and above all for the rest of your lives. Deep down he knew that wouldn't go further than a simple fantasy, something to lose himself in before falling asleep before bed every night, and yet, it always brought him such joy, comfort and affection within his body, and at that moment, when he was kissing your womb, his hands holding you legs spread as he took his time in kissing and nibbling your lower stomach, he closed his eyes and made that irrational wish, practically, that wouldn't do, not in real life, not with your history weighing heavily on the two of you, nor with your life styles that were so different from each other's. He worked too much, Sarah was already growing into a teenager, you were inexperienced at that matter at the same time he was getting older and was certain that having to watch a baby and later on a toddler would absolutely kill his back. But if it was so impractical, it should be so sweet at the same time. It would be a lot easier for him to keep those stupid thoughts out of his mind. When Joel got closer to your core, you wanted to tell him to stop, to remind him that you didn't use protection at all and you'd been missing up the pills, warn him there was maybe some probability of you both making that situation even more of a mess than it already was, but the words died out in your mouth, the moment Joel's eyes matched yours, the pool of brown warmth making your heart skip a beat at the same time he parted your legs, giving your inner thighs each a love bite, and your breathing accelerating once more in the anticipation of what was about to happen.

“Relax, baby girl” he purred against your skin, he was so close to your core you could feel his breath fanning your sensitive area, his hands gripping the outside of your legs in a way it was clear he was claiming his power over you. You were about to be devoured by a hungry man and at that, your heart raced like no other, just as Joel reached you.

His lips ghosted over your slit, loving how shaky and sensitive you were at that moment, head shoved between your legs he took his hands into action, using them to spread your lips wide and groaned in approval of how sexy that view was. Ever since you married Joel, being intimate with your husband was something normal and natural, expected even, and whereas you weren't a prude by any means, the way Joel touched you or how filthy that mouth could be always made you go red from head to toes, especially when he simply stopped at stared at your body like that.

“Fuck baby, you still got the same pretty pussy I remember, it's the best one I've ever seen, you taste so fucking good, this sweet clit of yours had always made my mouth water” he teased as you could barely hear his voice through the adrenaline making all that blood pumped so loud into your ear. He spread your pussy lips open, his cock was already twitching to see your cunt twitching for him. The way your clit twitched in anticipation and your hole clenched at the air, how your wetness simply pooled in your entrance and it was all for Joel, because of Joel and he wasn't going to waste another minute before having you. You closed your eyes the moment he kissed your clit, kissing it as he would with your lips, all you could do was whimper and once more grip your hands into his hair pulling his head against your pussy, wanting more and more. At your touch, Joel stopped playing around, he simply sank his face into you, devouring you, licking, suckling and flicking your sensitive clit, lapping at your juices so hungrily, like a madman having his favorite meal. Joel's hands were large and his fingers were thick, so the moment he inserted two digits inside, you were already filled with him, the way he ate your pussy and fingered you, the knot forming down your lower belly, you barely had time to warn him, but it wasn't necessary, Joel knew your body well enough to know you were cumming, getting so nice and ready for him he continued, until you exploded into an intense and long orgasm, in which he tried to make it last for you as much as he could.

After your bliss, it didn't take very long for him to slip inside, now that you were all wet and stretched for him, you wrapped your legs around his waist and closed your eyes in pleasure. Your nails scratching down his broad back, his skin warm and sweaty on top of you. You wanted more of him, at that moment that was you favorite place in the world, primal, obscene, his grunts into your ear as he fucked you like he would any whore. At that moment you couldn't hold back your desires, your lustful thoughts took the best of you. If Joel asked you to be his personal cum dumpster, you would say yes. And at that realization, he came inside, once more, just like he did the night before and you loved it.

Suddenly the exhaustion took over you, your body and your thoughts and it seemed like an impossible task to keep your eyes open.

“Sleep, baby girl, relax” Joel whispered against your ear once more, pulling you closer, the two of you appreciating the lovely bliss you shared after your orgasms. It felt right, even if it shouldn't.

•••

When Joel woke up that morning for the second time with you tangled in his arms, he smiled at himself, wondering how lucky a motherfucker like himself could actually be. The past hours replayed in his mind, over and over, and he still didn't believe they were true, simply because they were too good to be true in the first place, still the reminders of how true it all had been were there: the pink fading lines you left all over his skin were still apparent, your clothes scattered around the bedroom floor, the way your hair invaded his pillow and now you smell lingered all over his bedsheets. It was real, and he couldn't be happier. Watching as you exhaustively slept, he dragged himself out of bed, not really wanting to leave but knowing he needed to start his day somehow. So he just planted a soft kiss on your forehead and headed to shower before going downstairs, as he needed to get breakfast ready for his girl.

You on the other hand, slept without even noticing you, being so exhausted after another steamy session with Joel; when you woke up nearly an hour later, you felt his side of the bed empty and for a split second you sighed disappointed at the impression it'd been just a dream, which only lasted until you could feel that bittersweet soreness between your legs, the mess Joel's room was in and how sticky you were with sweat and some of your juices mixed up together. You bit your lips and giggled, you thought you'd wake up full of regret, feeling guilty and upset about what happened, but turns out you felt great, perhaps, all you needed to decrease that upsetting feeling of melancholy you often grew inside was a good fuck provided by the best man you'd ever tried.

You yawned big and stretched, getting up and feeling that familiar sting between your legs, a reminder of Joel's virility and size. As you weren't sure what to do or where Joel could be, or even worse: if Sarah was home at all, you decided to be as silent as possible, your wish was just getting dressed and going downstairs, but the moment you saw your reflection in the mirror you knew you had to shower. It didn't take too long to find Joel's bathroom, you got yourself under the shower stream, groaning at how your muscles relaxed under it, the way the knots on your hair seemed to undo themselves. You chuckled while soaping your body in Joel's soap, shampooing your hair with his shampoo, smelling entirely like him, as if he'd marked you like an animal would. Perhaps you shouldn't enjoy this obscene thought as much as you did, but at that point that ship had sailed and you couldn't care less about it. Stepping outside the shower, you dried yourself and went through Joel's drawers just enough to find something comfortable to wear - one of his boxers and an old shirt.

“Joel?!” You called him at the top of the stairs, hoping you two were still alone there, as you really didn't want to risk being seen in those - lack of - clothes by Tommy or god forbid, Sarah.

“In here” Joel replied, his voice coming from the kitchen and as soon as you got downstairs you were hit by the delicious smell of coffee, and just as your stomach growled in hunger you realized you couldn't even remember your last meal.

You followed the delicious smell and smiled when you saw him flipping a bunch of pancakes, frowning softly at the image, it was so odd to see Joel being so domestic, cooking breakfast when in reality, you were the one who usually got to do all the cooking and chores, not to mention the choice of menu for the breakfast.

“You don't like pancakes!” you said surprised as you approached the stove to confirm if you weren't seeing things, being surprised by the way Joel wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you closer, greeting you with a peck on the lips, which you didn't expect but you couldn't complain either.

“I don't, but you do, and you deserve it, baby girl” he stroked your sides as he kept flipping pancakes with his free hand like a damn pro. You could only imagine how many times he had to step in and make his daughter pancakes until he got that skilled at that. You looked at him and as if he'd read your mind, he pecked your forehead this time

“Sarah is at her friend's which means she's only coming in the afternoon, you can hang out, maybe we can grab lunch together and then I'll drive you home, fix your door and all..” he said and stared lovingly at you “if you wanna go, otherwise you can stay here” he winked and made you chuckle.

“Joel, about us, about what happened-”

“Don't do that now, darling, let's not upset ourselves, let's have breakfast together and we can talk about it later”

You could tell Joel was postponing the subject, it was simply inevitable to talk about your future together or lack of it, due to your history, what happened between the two of you should be addressed, and even if you had been as willing as he was, it was a fact you weren't so easy to convince that perhaps being together was a good idea. However, he was also right: you could discuss things later, because at that moment you just wanted to have breakfast with Joel; damage had already been done, so what if you two continued to act the way you were? If anything, if you two parted ways, you would simply still have a nice time to cherish, to balance the ups and downs of your relationship together.

You two walked to the table, Joel placed the pancakes down and got comfortable on the chair, taken by surprise as you simply sat on his lap, instead of taking the seat next to him. You looked at him with a grin and stole a peck from his lips

“What?! You said we should have breakfast first” you giggled and started eating, at the same time his arm wrapped around your frame and he pulled you even closer. You couldn't really complain about that breakfast, it was the best you've ever had in so long, and it had nothing to do with pancakes.

•••

During daylight it was possible to see the damage the thieves left in your home; not only did they steal valuable things, but they also left a trail of mess and dirt through the floors, making you feel so angry at the shit hole they'd left your house. As soon as you got off Joel's truck, you could see cleaning, fixing and buying things again would take a long time, and even if you had the best contractor around town next to you, you still had to do chores. He placed his hands on his waist, furrowing his brows while he scanned the room, thinking of what he should do. You quickly changed into more comfortable clothes, grabbing a mop and a bucket and began cleaning up everything you had to, you reminded Joel he could make himself at home and grab drinks or snacks, since it was the least you could do after he'd been so kind to help you - and fuck you raw morning and night.

Once you'd finished your chores and showered quickly to get rid of the sweat, you went downstairs, looking for Joel. He had fixed a few things here and there, things you hadn't even noticed, but the moment you walked down the stairs, he was fixing your door.

And you were not prepared for that sight, at all.

Not with how Joel's shirt was clinging tight to his body, damp with sweat, the way his jeans looked so good around his thighs and his butt, or how he flexed his biceps unconsciously while he forced the warped wood forwards, the soft grunt he let out and how his huge hand wiped the forehead off his forehead was enough to set your core on fire. You stood there, at the bottom of the stairs, gripping the handrail and wondering when you'd become that thirsty for a man. Even when you had relationships after your divorce, you couldn't remember being that easily turned on, but at that moment, a mere display of Joel's roughness was enough to pool your wetness on your panties. He was just so mainly, so strong, something primal and intense about that man's body, he was different from any man you'd met, and the years only added to it, you were so tired of fighting your urges and feelings. Yes, Joel had been the worst husband a woman could've asked for, but just because you wanted to crazily ride on his cock, it didn't mean you would have to marry him again, definitely not. Joel wasn't a good husband, but he was a damn fine lover.

“I didn't see you there” you jumped at Joel's voice, distracted by it as he snapped you out of your lustful thoughts, nodding at him and smiling nervously. He cleared his throat “I'm guessing you want to talk, don't you?” There was a slight hint of disappointment in his voice and you thought for a while

“Yeah, we need to talk, just… take a seat, I'll get you some water” you pointed at your couch and disappeared into the kitchen, finding Joel standing still when you returned with a fresh bottle of water for him. He hadn't moved, something inside of him telling him not to, some kind of superstition, that maybe if he sat down he would go back to the poor reality of his life, a life without you, your touch, your caress. As long as he stood up, he could always find something to do around your home and then spend a little longer by your side. He took the bottle with a nod in gratitude and took a big sip of it, at the same time it seemed you were watching an erotic movie just by the way your body reacted to the image of his neck, the way his veins pumped as he swallowed his water, showing his thirst, and to think just a few hours before he was eating your pussy with the same ferocity, made you press your thighs together. You needed that man, and you were going to have him, no matter what. To hell with needing to have a serious chat, to move on with your life and not forgetting the past, you needed him carnally. Joel finished his water and finally walked to your couch, taking a seat and spreading his legs, just like he often did to find a comfortable position. You hated when men did that, taking up space and being rude, but not Joel, the way he did it was hot, it reminded you of how big he was, his long legs, big, strong thighs, so perfect to ride, and his frowny face, you could tell he was worried, probably thinking you would just thank him for the help, tell him what happened between the two of you couldn't happen again and ask him to leave. Hiding the heartbreak under his mean face, little did he know that conversation would have to be postponed, because your mouth was about to be too busy to talk.

“You want to talk, right?” He asked, nervously running his hands through his jeans, watching as you took another step closer and nodded.

“Yeah, but we can't talk right now… I'd rather use my mouth for something else” you winked at him, falling onto his knees and began caressing his thighs over his rough jean, smirking at his surprised face, hands fiddling his pants as you opened his fly and bit your lips

“I need your cock now, Joel, I need you in my mouth”

He was taken aback by your sudden change of behavior, he'd sat down expecting to be told to leave, but now he had you on your knees begging for his cock and that was something he couldn't deny. His left hand gripped your hair, tilting your head up a little, while his right hand stroked your cheek gently, his thumb ghosted over your lips, tracing an invisible path on it as he nodded. Suddenly, roles were reversed: he wasn't waiting for you to stop and decide what he should do, instead, he was in charge and he was about to make you choke on his cock.

“So pretty, baby girl…” Joel's voice wasn't much more than a whisper “you want my cock, don't you? Just like a filthy little slut, you wanna choke on it? Want my cum down your pretty throat?”

All you could was nod at his filthy words, Joel's mouth could drive any woman inside without any physical touch, just his dirty choice of words was enough to cause a turmoil of feelings and increase the pool in your panties. He lifted his hips and pulled his pants down, freeing his cock, already hard and held it by the base, while you licked your lips. You could see his tip glistening and closing your eyes as Joel rubbed his tip against your lips, before you opened it and took his cock into your mouth. Joel threw his head back and groaned in pleasure, he could feel his balls quivering while both hands flew to your hair, gripping it as you bobbed your head up and down his shaft, your hand squeezing and stroking his cock up and down where you couldn't reach his length. You'd always loved Joel's groans, the way he sounded so voracious, you clenched your thighs together, trying to give your throbbing clit some sort of relief. He guided you through his blowjob, he hadn't gotten a good one like that in years; of course he'd had his affairs, nightstands and such, but no mouth in the world compared to yours at all. He praised you, reminded you were his favorite cock slut and he wouldn't have any other than you.

You could feel by the way he clenched in your mouth his release was close, he was about to unload and you wanted to swallow all of him. So you continued, even when Joel tried to lift your head gently and warn you, you didn't need any warnings, you simply continued blowing him until he was cumming into your mouth. He reached his orgasm with another grunt, at the same time you worked your magic and swallowed every single drop of him. The way his cock pulsed inside of your mouth, how his breathing got rapid, his chest raising up and down at a fast pace, it was the sexiest thing you'd ever seen. Joel Miller was a strong, manly man, and you loved it.

He finally rested his eyes on you, his hell and heaven on earth, and he just needed more of you, convinced that whatever he had of you just wasn't enough. He helped you up, then pulled you to his lap, making you squeak in surprise as you landed right on top of him. You rested your forehead against his, while he pressed your body closer, never wanting to let go. He pulled you for a kiss, your lips tasting like him, sent Joel another wave of lust and need; he kissed your neck, his hands fiddling with your clothes, getting rid of them as he wanted you bare for him, your body on his, naked; he wanted to take you inside your house, not just some dirty, rushed secret locked in his room, but instead, claim you in any room of your home, if you ever wanted to break with him and decide he shouldn't be part of your life any longer, then at least he would leave his mark knowing each time you walked into any room, you would think of him, reminded of the time Joel fucked you and emptied himself inside of your tight juicy cunt.

“Come on, darling, ride my cock” his rough voice commanded you at the exact time Joel's hand pulled your shorts and your panties down. He went for your ass, massaging it, squeezing your cheeks and slapping it a couple of times, seeing it wiggle softly

“You're so fucking hot, you know that, sugar? Only you can make my cock throb the way you do” he praised you. His fingers traveled to your cunt, caressing it for the second time that day, making you spread your legs as wide as you could over him. He stroked your clit, feeling your arousal pooled in your entrance, it was intoxicating to him, he needed you every single day for the rest of his life. He gripped your hips, helping you lift yourself up and as held his cock in place and sank down onto it.

“Just like that, gorgeous, take that cock baby girl” he praised you.

You spent the rest of your afternoon riding Joel on your couch, not giving a single shit if any of the neighbors could see it through the curtains or the mere fact Joel had given you the worst heartbreak of your life; you needed him as much as he needed you, and it seemed neither of you could let go.

•••

The following days went by exactly the same way they usually did: you either worked from home or you went to the office a few times a week, you went grocery shopping, led a quiet, normal life, received Sarah's visits almost daily with the exception you were also seeing her dad without her having any idea. In fact, no one apart from you and Joel knew what was going on, and neither of you had any intention of changing that. Being completely honest, you should have broken things up with Joel the morning after, but each time you decided to do so, you simply couldn't get it done, the mere thought of standing in front of Joel and asking him to stay away from you was devastating, even if you turned to your memories of the day you found out Joel was in love with Angela and didn't want to be with you any longer couldn't help you. Of course they were as painful as if they were fresh, but at the same time it also felt like it happened between two completely different people rather than you and Joel. It was so difficult to process that Joel and your current Joel were the same, because deep down your heart claimed they weren't; the Joel you were constantly hooking up with was a hardworking, a great father, he was caring, sweet, he was passionate and he treated you as if you were the best thing he'd ever seen in the whole world. He'd become a closed man to relationships due to the guilt he felt for treating you the way he did and the abandonment he suffered from Angela. As much as that sounded twisted, the fact you were both abandoned by people you loved, also brought you closer, especially because he got to know exactly how you felt, which increased his guilt. It was terrible, but he was aware he was probably going to carry that for the rest of his life; even if he watched you smile and laugh, or if you wrapped your arms around him, underneath the joy and excitement he felt within, there would always be a tad of guilt just like a bitter taste in his mouth, reminding him of his coward attitude and how much better than him you truly were. As you had told Joel while you still hadn't crossed the line of how far your relationship should go, the problem wasn't the fact he fell in love with Angela, that could've happened to anyone, even if the sting of rejection hurt, being tricked and lied to was way worse than that. Even if it was hard to recover from the pain - if you had even recovered at all, after all, more than a decade went by without you being able to have a commitment to anyone, unable to stay in a relationship for more than other a few months, - you could only imagine Joel's experience was even worse; not only his relationship with Angela ended, but she also cut her ties with her own baby daughter. The disappointment he felt to realize his daughter would have to grow up without her mom, the paralyzing fear of being on his own to raise a baby, must've been intense. And even if some people could actually laugh at how funny life can be and swear there was still some kind of divine justice lurking around and he was simply paying for everything he'd done to you, you couldn't find the amusement in that situation, it was so sad, you could only feel pity. It seemed to you the years had turned Joel into a silent companion of pain, and not so much into the villain you'd projected onto him.

And all that was only the rational side of the story, because if you left it all to your feelings and desires, you wouldn't be able to leave his bed. Perhaps you were both feeling an overloaded amount of everything you had repressed for each other over the years; being able to externalize it was addictive, at first it was thought to be an inch you both needed to scratch, but soon enough it became obvious it was way more than that, which caused you to fall into his arms whenever you tried to make things easier for the two of you and simply let this condemned relationship go.

As you closed your laptop and watched Sarah's brows furrowing at the paper in front of her, in a mixture of focused and cranky for not being able to solve another math problem easily, she reminded you of Joel and how he would get the same way and have the same expression whenever he got frustrated with something not going according planned. You gently placed your hand on top of hers and offered her a reassuring smile, Sarah had had her nails done by you earlier, proud to see how pretty the sparkly color got on contracts with her skin. She was such a beautiful girl and you enjoyed being able to help her discover that, by introducing simple things like that, which meant the world to her, since she didn't have a mom around, it was nice doing stuff like that with someone experienced who could give her advice on school, friends and boys. She really appreciated it and if it were for Sarah, she would find a way to set you up with her dad and become one small family.

“you should have a break, you've been stuck in this question for a long time, try again later” you advised her and even if she sighed in a gruff way, - again, so Joel Miller coded - she nodded, closing her notebook and checking up her nails discreetly, which brought a warmth into your heart.

“So…” you started, hoping you would sound convincing enough and not raise any kind of suspicions from her, after all, that girl was smart “...you told me your dad is coming to pick you up, right? When he does, invite him inside so you guys can have dinner with me” you suggested, even if you and Joel had already agreed on it. You hadn't been able to see each other in a few days let alone touch each other, which was actually what you both really wanted, so all the options you got were texting like a bunch of horny teenagers. Now, sending nudes to a guy was something you would strongly disagree several months ago, but now? Each time your phone buzzed, you rushed to it, in hopes to get yet another picture of Joel's big hand holding his cock by its base, so you could lock yourself in any room and pull down your bra and panties, exactly the way he liked it. So spending some time around Joel even if you both had to play it cool was better than nothing. Sarah agreed but still felt a little puzzled at your suggestion.

“Alright… but why? You're regretting saying no when I tried to set you up?” She chuckled and you rolled your eyes, hoping you weren't so obvious. You moved to the kitchen and invited her to come along, so she could help you with dinner. You opened the fridge and had your back to Sarah, while you picked the meat and the vegetables.

“No, it's just that your dad was so nice to me, he fixed my front door after the break in, it would be a nice way to repay” you said “why do you even say that?”

“I think dad has a girlfriend or something…” she shrugged and you stopped, looking at her and trying to control the shock over your face.

“Y-yeah? And how do you know it?”

“Well, dad's different now, he seems happier, more cheerful, he's very often texting on his phone…”

“And what do you think of that?”

“It's nice, I guess” Sarah licked her lips “dad deserves to be happy, he's been lonely for a long time, ever since my mom left…” she said “but uncle Tommy says dad was sad before that, apparently there was another girl before mom, it didn't work between them or dad made her go away, I don't know why, but uncle Tommy told me once that even when he was with my mom, he couldn't forget about her an-”

“What happened then?” Only after you said it you realized you interrupted Sarah and sounded a little crazy, she didn't understand why you were so into that story after all, but seeing how eager you were to hear the ending of it, she continued.

“Well, according to uncle Tommy dad never forgot that girl, but she was way out of his league by the time my mom had left, so my dad sort of gave up dating” she shrugged “then my dad got home and interrupted uncle Tommy when he was about to tell me the full story, and he never spoke about it since” she replied with a simple shrug and pointed at the meat you were about to roast

“Hey, that's my dad's favorite!” She said amused at the coincidence of menus which you knew damn well that wasn't a coincidence, but your treat to Joel. As you kept cooking with Sarah's help, you also thought about the story she'd told you, too many things happening at once: finding out Joel had never forgotten you while his daughter was sure he had a mysterious girlfriend, which of course, was also you.

During dinner, you tried your best to forget about all of that, the way Joel and Sarah fit so well in that scene, the three of you at the table, eating and sharing how your days had been seemed like a beautiful painting of a perfect little family. A portrait of what things could've been like, or should have been like, and you enjoyed it, you couldn't deny it at all. Your gaze met Joel's and you shared a smile, silently agreeing you were spending a family time; you wondered if some day that would actually happen and if you would indeed be a family with Joel, sometimes you thought you would like it, and sometimes you would brush it off as some momentary lapse. But when he reached for your hand under the table and held it, caressing your knuckles with his thumb, your heart raced one more time and you couldn't help but allow yourself to picture a life by his and Sarah's side.

When you were all finished, Joel gladly dismissed his daughter from having to help with the dishes and the moment you two noticed she was fairly entertained with the new books you'd bought, he stole a kiss from you. It was quick but sweet and as much as it left you all giggly and blushing, it wasn't enough. Your need for Joel was overpowering, it was addictive, and you needed to touch him. Nothing would happen between the two of you while Sarah stood just a few feet away, Joel would never risk being caught that way, he respected his daughter too much, but he would kill to have his hands all over your body. He thought of asking you on a escapade with him, but he wasn't sure if it was a good idea, not with Sarah being a little suspicious of how friendly you were acting towards each other. He wondered if he could actually call you his girlfriend, if he could admit he was dating you, because that's what it felt like, but then, if you both came clean about the situation, it would get complicated, not only for him because of Sarah, but he was well aware you would be in a tricky situation with your family, since he knew for a fact your parents hated him, - with plenty reasons to do so - eventually, you would two would have to have the talk. Now, Joel didn't fear not being with you any longer, he knew that wouldn't happen, you were as attached to him as he was to you, but eventually, you would have to define that situation. He knew he could be cold and distant, but it was so damn hard for him to hide his passion, the way he leaned against the doorframe and watched as you carefully put the dishes away, looking every bit of sexy as you could be, not that young and naive little wife he kept at home before he screwed things up, but instead, the powerful, beautiful woman you grew to be.

Sarah was incredibly smart, but she was also naive at some level, which caused her to be oblivious to the fact you called Joel into the backyard at some point, asking him to check something up you wanted it fixed, only to pull him closer and kiss him deeply, gripping his body, wanting him to engulf you like he always did, your nails gently scratching down his back while his lips ravished yours.

“I want to spend the night with you so bad, baby girl” he whispered against your lips “you're so good to me, you treat Sarah like a princess, you cooked us my favorite meal, all I want is to show my gratitude by getting lost between these beautiful thighs” he teased and for a split second you felt like telling him to stay the night, to come clean and tell Sarah you were dating, dating as if you two were pretty much a decade younger and so eager to be in each other's arms, but it couldn't happen that way, not like that, and not at that moment. You nibbled his bottom lip a couple of times before letting go, your body tingled for him, aching for his touch and as he told you he would call Sarah to go home, you felt unannounced tears flooding your eyes for no reason. Why did things have to be so complicated, why Joel couldn't have been this good from the beginning? You could've lived more than a decade of happiness together, if it weren't for that.

As they said their goodbyes, you watched Joel's truck disappear from your eyesight, a pang in your chest insisting on saying it was your family leaving while you played too hard to get.

•••

You had never seen Sarah smile that wide as she did while you two walked around the mall; side by side, a bunch of bags in hands as you spent such a simple, and yet incredible quality time together. For her, it was like hanging out with the mom she never had, and you felt as if you were shopping around for the daughter you could never conceive. It didn't matter where you were going, which stores you were checking and not even exactly what you were buying, just the fact you were doing that together felt incredibly special. It all began when Sarah complained about not having what to wear to the Harry Styles concert in the upcoming week; after months of begging her dad and uncle Tommy, she was given a ticket to the presentation she'd been dreaming of watching, under the condition she wasn't going to drag her dad along. Joel was an amazing dad, and he would do almost about anything for her, but standing in line for hours and then having to watch that guy performing while an entire stadium of hysterical teenage girls would be screaming at the top of their lungs which would probably cause Joel to go deaf in his good ear was a hard pass, that he wouldn't do. In fact, he would. The moment she gave him her puppy eyes and asked him to take her, he would do it, even if he tried tricking himself, however, luck seemed to be standing by his side, as Tommy happened to start dating this chick who was also obsessed with that Harry guy and when she got herself and Tommy a ticket, Sarah was all set. And so was Joel, because without anyone knowing, he managed to get a free night with you. And in the blink of an eye, you and Joel seemed way more excited for the Harry Styles concert than Sarah.

So when she complained she didn't actually have anything nice to wear, you thought of doing that for her, it would be fun, a change of just staying inside reading books, you could spend some girl time together and while you were out with her, you could really watch Sarah, the way she behaved, how she talked and acted, it reminded you so much of Joel, you wondered if she'd taken anything from Angela at all, deep inside, you wish she didn't, even if it was a petty thing to do. The idea of Sarah being similar only to her dad was nothing but comforting and sweet to you, it was the easiest way to see the evolution he went through, unfortunately, he had to learn how to be a better person through the pain, but he had succeeded and that was what it really mattered. You didn't really care if you'd spent a lot on Sarah, you had the money after all, and she deserved it. She was happy, talking excitedly about several things, to the point she barely noticed when Joel walked towards the two of you. He had his jacket on, hair a little messy from the wind as he grinned shyly at the sight of you, his heart skipping a beat as it felt to him he was meeting his daughter and wife at the mall.

Sarah frowned, amused to see her dad, walking towards him, she hugged him, which surprised Joel a little, not expecting that gesture at that very moment.

“What are you doing here, dad?” She asked curiously as Joel greeted you by giving you a peck on the cheek, trying so hard not to seem he was practically drooling over you.

“Tommy needed to buy his girlfriend whatever and asked me for a ride, so while he disappeared into the crowd I was trying to find him” he explained and stared at you “you girls are having fun, I see?” He raised his eyebrow and Sarah eagerly nodded, lifting her bags a little and showing him everything you'd bought her. He was so thankful for everything you were doing for his daughter, especially because he was sure you did it out of kindness and the fact you care about her. You watched their interaction and bit your lips in anticipation, you felt a sudden urge to kiss Joel in front of everyone and walk around the mall holding hands with him, you had never discussed that before, but the thought of it made your heart race. Sarah exchanged a few words with her dad before her eyes went wide as she spotted one of her best friends a couple of stores ahead and smiled big

“Dad, can I go show Nat the things I got? Please?! I'll be right back!” She asked with her sweet eyes and Joel agreed, telling her you two would be around as he intended to keep you company. As you walked towards another store with Joel following you, Sarah soon got entertained with her friend in an ice cream booth nearby. You both chuckled at the scene and he quickly placed his hand on the small of your back.

“Is Tommy really shopping around for his girlfriend or were you just stalking us?” You teased Joel, entering the lingerie store, earning a gasp from him before he could actually answer your question.

“Don't even think about it, Miller, I'm here just to buy some sports bra to go to the gym and nothing more” you added but the mischievous look in his eyes was extremely well-known.

“That's a shame, because this one would look so good on you” he pointed at a lilac lacey pair of underwear, his mouth watering at how beautiful you would certainly get in it, and how stripping you out of all that lace would feel like unwrapping a Christmas gift. You frowned at him, reminding him you were just there to buy a couple of things and leave, in fact, you shouldn't have even let Joel get inside the store with you, it wouldn't be appropriate and how would he explain to Sarah what the hell he was doing there in the first place. Joel, on the other hand, was pretty much entertained by all the beautiful colors and shapes the tiny pieces of fabric came with; he could picture every inch of your body in them, trying to guess which ones would look better. He knew all of them would be just perfect, but he was a guy who was simply drawn to the traditional good old red lacey; it was gorgeous, and it would be a nice gift for the two of you. As he looked around to find you and show you what he'd decided to treat you to, you were nowhere to be seen; the sales clerk already busy with the new customers walking into the store, he decided to wander after you. He was thankful no one seemed to mind nor notice him there, too worried to be seen as a creep, but determined to find you nonetheless; as he got to the fitting room area, he quickly called your name.

“What now, Joel?!” You immediately replied from the one in the corner, slightly annoyed at the fact he'd followed you there, sometimes Joel was a little like a stray puppy, coming after you with those big sad brown eyes, and even if you wanted to shop for freaking sports bras on your own, you couldn't help but enjoy the fact he was just so needy of you.

When Joel opened the door and got inside, you even tried to argue and ask him what the heck he was doing there, but instead, he smirked, gripping your sides and kissing you as a way to keep you silent. You wanted to push him away and tell him to fuck off, but the rushing adrenaline you felt through your veins made you feel alive, and as always, Joel's touch set you on fire. He broke the kiss dragging his lips over to your neck and then your collarbone, his hands climbing up your sides and going to your breasts, squeezing them softly

“This sports bra ain't bad, but I'd say a work of art like your body should have more lace, or glitter or whatever shit you like” he said in a grunt and lowered your top, even against your protests that weren't much more than just some whimpers that couldn't convince you, let alone Joel. You could feel his beard scratching down your chest and going straight to your breasts, lips wrapping around your nipples as he suckled on it gently at first, flicking it with his tongue before moving to your other breast and working the same magic. Your heart raced to the point you could feel your blood rushing through your ears, the fact you both could be caught at any moment and kicked out of the store, or even worse: be arrested for public indecency, added a hint of fear to the traditional lust you had for Joel; that man would be the dead of you, that much you were sure of.

“We can't Joel…” you mumbled against his curls, his head on your chest as his fingers found their way down your belly, getting so close to your sweet spot, he was so needy of you, wanting all of you to the point it felt he would go crazy. His digits toyed with the hem of your panties, while you pulled his curls a little, making him groan.

“Sorry honey” you whispered and kissed this temple, which made him smile. Joel was about to finger you in a fitting room in the middle of a store and you were so sweet to him, it made his heart ache a little, at the realization he definitely didn't deserve you. He kissed you once more and nibbled your lower lips the moment his fingers reached your core, spreading your lips apart and finding your needy clit, already so hard and wet, just for him to enjoy. He wasn't going to tease you, you both didn't have time for it, so instead, he played with your wetness, before shoving his fingers inside of you, stretching you up the way you both knew and enjoyed it, he thumbed with your clit before focusing all his ministrations into your tight cunt, feeling your muscles squeezing and clenching around him. He'd kill to have his cock inside of you instead of his fingers, but that would have to wait. He felt your teeth on his shoulder, while your pussy gushed at the same time you came for him. He felt your body going limp, sustaining your weight with his free hand

“Taste yourself, princess” he whispered against your ear and held his fingers up, waiting for you to wrap your devilish lips around them and lick them clean. Joel felt the urge to take you right there and then, but he was a patient man and knew things would have to wait. He kissed your lips goodbye and exited the fitting room after making sure no one was around to see him.

The sales clerk was a little confused when she saw Joel walking towards the register with a blood red pair of lacey lingerie, she couldn't remember seeing him walk into the store and let alone hang around, but the work policy forced her to smile at him and be helpful, especially when he got his wallet out and extended his credit card.

“I'd like you to gift wrap this and give it to the beautiful lady who's trying sports bra in the fitting room, tell her it's my treat” he winked at the woman, aware he could use his charms in his own favor. She agreed to his request and he left the store just like any other ordinary customer, at the same time you received the package as a present the moment you tried paying for your stuff.

•••

After waiting what it seemed like forever, the Harry Styles concert was about to happen, which caused Joel to have a break from his brother, his girlfriend Maria and Sarah, who insisted they all spend hours waiting in line. His heart was full of joy and pride to see how happy his precious daughter was, the way she could barely sleep at night and that guy was the only thing she ever talked about. It was amusing to him, even if he ran out of patience from time to time, it was amazing to see his little girl looking like a beautiful young woman in her new outfit bursting with happiness. Joel couldn't also complain about the fact he managed to enjoy a full day by himself and get ready to receive you through the night. He'd gone grocery shopping, buying all the kinds of treats he knew you loved - or used to, as people could often change their personal taste over the years, but instead of seeing that with sadness, he felt glad to be able to learn something new about the woman he was madly in love with. He was going to go for some beer, but Joel thought again and decided to pick some wine, he just thought you were more of a wine kind of woman, more elegant than just cheap beer.

What you both hadn't counted on, was how hot the weather was, even if the sun had set down, it was still uncomfortable to remain inside, which made Joel suggest you both should move your date night to the swimming pool. At first you thought he was joking, but the stern look on his face told you he was being completely serious, and you thought it was a nice change. The way Joel took the bottle of wine, the glasses and simply began undressing without a word made you puzzled, until he turned around and told you to take off your clothes as well.

One skinny-dipping adventure and a quicky in his pool later, you both took sips of your wine, as you pressed yourself against him; Joel's arms were tight around your body as you rested your head on his chest, kissing it gently, and listening to his heartbeats, it was scary how out of the sudden, his arms became your favorite place in the world. You were far too deep into this story, and there was no way out without getting hurt, but that wasn't the time to think of that, you didn't want to have those kinds of thoughts, you wanted to spend your time with Joel and get lost into him, just as he was into you.

“Sarah told me you have a girlfriend” you blurted out, making Joel raise his eyebrow at you and looking down at you

“What?!”

“Well, she said you seemed happier lately, always texting someone, sneaking out here and there…” you chuckled “I wonder who that bitch is” Joel laughed at your comment, his hand sliding down your back and resting on your ass, squeezing it and then pecking your lips.

“She ain't no bitch, I can assure you that much” he said gently and nuzzled your neck “she's gorgeous, she's the best thing that's ever happened to me, well, after Sarah, of course, but still, and she was so kind to forgive me after everything I've done” his lips were back on your cheek and then on your lips “and I love her very much”

For a moment your whole world stopped. Joel loved you. He admitted it out loud, it wasn't just a matter of simple assumptions, but rather a concrete, explicit feeling. You opened your mouth looking at him hesitantly, what exactly should you say? What could you tell Joel? Did you love him back? If so, were you ready to admit it and face the consequences of getting back together with the man who caused the biggest emotional trauma of your life. Joel took his hands off your body and looked at you with a hint of disappointment, even if he didn't want to admit it, he was disappointed, he thought you shared the same feeling as he did, so he sighed and nodded.

“It's fine, you don't have to say it back…” he cleared his throat and swam to the ladder of the pool “it's getting a little chilly, I think we should get inside”

•••

A few days later, your conversation with Joel simply wouldn't leave your mind; you were in love with him, it was impossible for anyone not to notice, him included, and yet, you didn't understand why it was so hard for you to simply admit it. Perhaps, if you did it, then it would become real, and your relationship with him would stop being a fun, little secret shared by the two of you, but rather a concrete relationship between two adults, where you'd eventually have to come clean and open up to family, friends, you would celebrate birthdays and holidays, anniversaries and face several, typical questions coming from all sides, wondering if you would both remarry or have kids. It was overwhelming, but not as bad as how you were feeling at that moment. You felt guilty and embarrassed, and the paranoid side of you was convinced Joel had been avoiding you for the past week, whereas Sarah was at your place nearly everyday, still talking about Harry Styles and showing you countless pictures of the concert, he wouldn't text much nor insist to see you, even when you suggested him to sneak out late at night and go to yours, he politely declined by saying Tommy and him got a new big client and work was rushed and soul crushing. Of course he could be telling you the truth, he did sound exhausted on the phone and Sarah had mentioned Joel and Tommy had been arriving late most days, both of them covered in sweat and in such a bad mood due to the unbelievable amount of work they were having. Yet, what should make you feel calm and at ease, didn't help one bit, it was uncomfortable and depressing not having Joel around, you missed him, his touch, his body but mostly his presence. He'd been a constant in your life for the past months, and it was only taking a week for you to feel abandoned. It wasn't fair to you, and yet, it wasn't fair to him either, not when he declared his love for you and you couldn't even say it back. You placed your living room, not sure whether you should drive to his home or not, in fact, you knew you shouldn't, but you wanted to, because that particular day, not even Sarah showed up, and it made you sad. You were so attached to the little family destiny set apart for you, simply a day or two away from them was enough to cause a large wound in your heart. You looked around, looking for an excuse to show up at the Miller's household; until your eyes widened and you grinned to see Sarah's history book lying around your coffee table. It was the perfect excuse to go and see them! Perhaps you could even end up having dinner with them, and then make up an excuse about a flat tire or whatever, have Joel giving you a ride home and end up being railed by him in the back of his truck. The longing for Joel was increasing and all you wanted was to make things right by explaining him you did have feelings for him and you needed some time, but you were willing to make sacrifices in order to be with him, because you wanted to and it was important for you that he saw how appreciated he was by you.

On your way to Joel's, you stopped at a bakery you knew Sarah loved, thinking of all the delicious treats you could take so you'd keep your family spoiled, at least a little. You smiled at yourself the moment you chose a couple of cupcakes, cookies and the chicken pie Joel loved, thinking of how you were already addressing them as your family. The truth is that they were indeed your family, the connection you three had was strong, the bond you created with Sarah without even knowing for a fact who she was and later on all that passion for Joel surfacing after spending a decade buried deep inside of you. It was a waste of time fighting that, and you wanted to get to them as soon as possible, you'd been alone far too long, it was about time to yourself have one good thing, to break free and admit how happy you were next to the Millers. You loved them just as they loved you, and it made no sense to fight that feeling and pretend it didn't exist.

The ride wasn't long, there was hardly any traffic in the suburbs, most families were already inside, having dinner together as the sun had set and the street lights were all lit up, as you parked your car, you saw Joel's truck in the driveway and felt your chest tightening in anxiety and fear; if he was already home why didn't he call or text you? Maybe he was indeed avoiding you?! Joel wouldn't make the same mistake twice and push you away, would he? You shook your head, you had faith in him, faith you both had matured and were able to handle things by talking and being honest with each other; you licked your lips and sighed, knowing that whatever was going on could be solved by the two of you as two functional adults, besides, there were a bunch of explanations to why he hadn't talked to you that day yet, you shouldn't jump to conclusions and let your paranoia win once more. You got out of the car with the bag full of treats and walked to the front door, you knocked a couple of times and waited for an answer but nobody came. It was odd, as you could hear Joel's and Sarah's voices coming from inside, and even if you couldn't tell what they were saying your heart raced, your gut feeling telling you something was up and you couldn't wait any longer, silently opening the door and getting inside. You placed the bag of food down the coffee table as you could clearly hear what they were saying. It seemed Joel and Sarah were arguing, which was extremely odd, since you had never seen them have any kind of disagreement, they just had a real nice and healthy father and daughter relationship in which they both listened to each other and acted with respect. As you approached, you heard Sarah's cries and you were taken by worry, perhaps someone had died? You couldn't wait any longer, you rushed and got into the kitchen, confused at first at what had happened between them, Joel looked so overwhelmed, his face was red and he desperately tried to make a point while telling Sarah a bunch of information she could barely cope with, as she cried in disappointment and shook her head, not believing anything her dad was saying. Her heart was shattered with disappointment and sadness, she couldn't believe her dad, her hero, the man she loved and admired the most in her life had done such a thing.

On the kitchen table, a photograph taken on your wedding day was lying around. A younger version of yourself hugged a much younger Joel as you both stood in front of the courthouse, smiling widely at the camera. There was no way to deny it nor hide it. Sarah had found out about your previous connection god knows how and Joel seemed desperate as he wanted to explain himself to his daughter, he couldn't bear having her so disappointed in him like that, it shattered his heart into a million pieces.

“Sarah…” you whispered and tried touching her cheek, wanting to caress it gently and assure her everything was fine now, that what had happened was in the past and that her dad was still the best father a girl could ever wish for. But Sarah moved her face away from your touch, her eyes were glistening with tears as she seemed so heartbroken

“You both lied to me! Why did you lie?” She asked and you looked at Joel wanting to have some kind of support in order to reply to her question.

“Sarah, we are both sorry, but your dad and I have made up after what happened, I know it's a lot to take now but don't be upset please” you asked her, Joel nodded and wrapped his arm around your waist in order to show her things were fine between the two of you. He promised to talk to her and explain everything to her in detail, but she was just so upset, feeling betrayed by the person she admired and loved the most in the whole world. You knew there was nothing you both could do at that moment, not with Sarah being so nervous and upset, instead, you asked Joel to call Tommy and suggested that he took her out for ice cream or something, maybe have a little chat with his niece while you and Joel could sit down and figure the best way to tell her everything. It didn't take more than twenty minutes for his younger brother to arrive, Sarah had drunk some water and washed her face, leaving with Tommy as you sat next to Joel. You took his hand and caressed it, while he refused to look you in the eye, the guilt and shame once more eating him alive, and now it had become even worse, as his precious little Sarah had found out the truth about him in the worst way possible. All she needed was an old picture for her school project and going through Joel's old memory box should be enough, and then she came across the pictures of his wedding day. Not to her mom, but to you instead, and then it all made sense: why you were never willing to be around her dad, or how you decided to keep yourself away from any kind of relationship. Because the asshole you told her you'd married once, was simply her father. The good old Joel Miller, the man who had to raise his baby daughter on his own after she left him, and then, Sarah had found out her dad had been really bad to someone so dearly to her. You, you could've been married to her dad, you could've been her mom, she could've had a family all along.

You looked at Joel and wiped a single tear that rolled down his cheek, even if he tried to hide it.

“What are we doing now, Joel?”

“I don't know…”

____

A/N: what a ride, right besties? Remember, feedback is life ❤️

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal one shot #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x y/n #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fanfic #joel miller one shot #joel miller story #pedro pascal story

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jasminexox5 · 1 year

Text

Gam3 Bo1

warnings: perv!wonwoo, neighbour!reader, porn mention, male masterbation, blow job, princess nickname, cream pie

Wonwoo was sitting in his room that hasn't seen sunlight in a couple days and was starting to smell from the snacks and mould coming from the empty cups and boxes of take out. He sat down at his desk on Friday afternoon playing with Mingyu and he hasn't moved since. It's Sunday now. He was addicted to Valorant. You can't take him away from it no matter how much you try. He will play it whenever he can and he won't stop until someone claws him away from the computer.

You were the type of neighbour that always helped out when you could, giving your baking to everyone in your building and helping the older members with their heavy lifting. Wonwoo loved that he always saw you glammed up everytime he spotted you anywhere in the building. Even when you were down stairs doing your laundry you were wearing your best sweats in case you bump into him. Always waving to him and giving him a big smile when you came across each other in the halls.

Stretching in his chair after his team won the last round taking the time to give his eyes a break from staring at the screen for hours on end. Showing off his toned stomach as he reached up and the line of hair that leads to under the elastic of his boxers. When Wonwoo wasn’t rotting away at the computer he spent his time at the gym that was across the street from the building. It took a couple weeks but he learned the days and times you went so he could go with you to ‘help’ you but he just wanted to take in the sight of you in a matching set.

Wonwoo was a very visual man he loved when any of his girlfriends were all dressed up in lace and lingerie just for him and him only. Every time he was alone he thought about your pretty thighs covered in lace of stocking with his large hands running up your legs. He got hard every time he thought of you but he couldn’t help it he thought you were the most beautiful girl he has ever seen. The thought of your chest in the lace of a bralette flooded his mind as he drifted into a daydream while his character was in the lobby of the game.

His mind was drifting further and further into his dirty fantasies about you every time he was alone. He was coming back from the gym one day when he saw you in a tiny dress coming back from a picnic with your friends. The pink of the dress made you look innocent and the spring in your step made him want to sweep you off your feet and make you scream the whole night. Thinking about how your lips looked covered in lip gloss and how they would be wrapped around his cock when your eye make up was running down your face.

Feeling his cock getting hard at his thoughts in his sweats when he sat up right in his chair moaning when he palmed over his leaking cock still covered from his sweats and underwear. Opening the password protected folder on his computer showing all the pictures that he has taken of you since the first time you both have met. All in your pretty dresses, anything white or your matching gym attire. The white made you look like an angel in his mind making you look so innocent to him, so perfect for him to ruin and claim as his.

His fingers hook under the elastic of his sweats and underwear, taking them off in one go down to his knees so he can touch his leaking cock. Sucking the air in through his teeth when his cock hit against his toned stomach before taking it into his fist to start covering his thick cock in his own arousal. Watching all the videos he had on loop of you in any kind of dress looking at your legs and your ass that was barely covered by the fabric. He has a stash of videos he took that one time he was walking up stairs behind you on the phone under your skirt letting the camera see your panties that were covering what he wanted most.

Wonwoo spat into his hand before wrapping it around his cock and moving it faster, throwing his head back in euphoria. The image of your ass in your leggings was tattooed on his mind. He couldn't stop thinking about you and what your ass would look like hitting off his thighs as you rode him at his desk. Biting his bottom holding back his moans not letting you hear what he is doing through the walls of his apartment. Imagining what your moans would sound like when you struggle to take his cock in your pussy holding onto his shoulders for support.

He dug into the drawer beside him for the lube and the toy helping him reach his orgasm faster. Wonwoo’s cock was dripping pre cum from being so sensitive chasing his high thinking about your pussy. Groaning as he lets go of his throbbing cock to cover the toy in lube making it glide up and down his length. Letting the toy slide onto the head of his cock with a hiss from the instant stimulation making his hips buck up for more. Clenching at the arms of the cushioned chair cursing underneath his breath/

“Wish you were here y/n”

Wonwoo was getting lost in his thoughts by this point he hasn’t looked at the pictures as he has been lost in the train of thought imagining you on your knees for him taking all of his big cock down your throat as you drool. The sweat was starting to drip down his toned body down to his abs. Wonwoo was fucking up into the toy rough and hard letting his mind wander to what it would be like fucking your tight cunt from behind.

“Such a good girl for me y/n”

“Are you going to let daddy cum in that pretty pussy???”

You hear what you think is a groan from the other side of your wall out of nowhere catching you off guard. These noises have been going on for the last ten minutes but they have just been getting louder and louder to the point you can hear them through the walls clearly. Getting up from your couch to go and check if Wonwoo was okay next door. Leaving your apartment to knock on the door waiting for a reply from him. Standing outside of the apartment door for a while waiting for the 6’ man to open it.

The loud knock at the door startled Wonwoo snapping him out of his daze, making him rush to slip his boxers back on trying to cover up what he had been doing but his boner was giving it away. His glasses sat on top of his head keeping his sweaty hair out of his face while he pleasured himself to the thought of you. Wonwoo opened the door to you standing there in the set he loved. He was hypnotised once again by the way your body looked in it with the way the fabric clung to your body.

He stood there stunned and unable to speak because it then clicked with him the reason you were at the front door. You heard him moaning. His cheeks flushed a shade of pink from embarrassment when he realised but his cock twitched against the straining fabric of his boxers just wanting to be free again. The tension between both of you was intense, you could cut it with a knife. Letting you come into his apartment taking you by the wrists slamming you up against the wall taking your lips in his as he kissed you. You were breathless kissing him the feeling of his slightly chapped lips making you feel on cloud nine.

Wonwoo was so happy that you never backed away from the kiss. It's quite obvious now that he's got the biggest crush on you and he hasn’t been able to hide it from you for a while now. He doesn’t have to care anymore as you have just caught him in the act and by the way you were kissing him back you were feeling the same way about him only no one has said anything the months that you have known each other.

Wonwoo’s large hands explored your body as he was leading you to his bedroom whilst his lips were still on yours exploring your mouth with his tongue. His hands took their place on your ass massaging the curve of your ass cheeks moaning into your mouth getting carried away. He was still in disbelief that this was actually happening to him, the girl he has had a crush on is finally kissing him. Pulling away from his lips to navigate his room without bumping into anything expensive. You knew he was a gamer but wow, you have never seen his set up before and it blew you away to say the least.

The bedroom was completely dark; the only light source was the red glow of the leds around the room. Walking by his desk to sit on his bed and that's when you saw the toy dripping cum…Wonwoo really was the dumb creepy nerd you thought he was.Taking his glasses off, placing them on his bedside table and fixing his hair whilst watching your every move. He has always been fascinated by your body. This is his chance to learn more.

“Want to finish the job baby?...”

It really was a rhetorical question, obviously you would want to help your crush come for you and only you. You never understood how it took till only now to end up in the same bed as him but now is your chance to claim him as yours now you are single. Switching places with him on the bed letting you take your place on the floor in-between his thick thighs taking your shirt off revealing your bare chest to him looking down on you like a hawk. Wonwoo's touch with you was gentle considering his feelings towards you but he would never be rough with a girl without permission of course. Taking your chin into his hold bringing his face down to your level kissing your lips one last time before you wrap your lips around his cock.

Helping you by lifting his hips when you pull the elastic of his boxers down to his ankles. Letting out a gasp when you see how big his cock is and how it's throbbing for you. The tip leaking pre cum for you. It twitched against his stomach when he had the perfect view of your bare chest from where he was sitting on the edge of the bed before you took his heavy cock on your tongue.

Moaning at the feeling of his heavy cock whilst trying not to gag around him already. Your lips stretched around the girth of his cock licking over his overstimulated tip letting the precum drip onto your tongue using it as lube to take him deeper down your throat. Wonwoo was leaning back on his bed on his elbows making his cock hit off the roof of your mouth making you gag and spit around him.

“I’m s-sorry baby…”

Ignoring the fact you just choked around him trying to take his cock deeper down your throat only wanting him to feel good and enjoy the show in front of him but you accept defeat and use your hands to stimulate the rest of his thick cock. Wonwoo moaned at the feeling of your head bobbing up and down his length letting your drool dribble down your chin making it more sloppy and easy to take him.

You look a hot mess right now with your makeup melting off your face and your spit forming at the corners of your mouth to dribble down your chin and onto the floor below you. Wonwoo was on cloud nine already and he hasn't felt your pussy around his cock this is more than he has ever dreamed of when he was spending all those days and nights touching himself to the thought of you on your knees for him.

“Fuck baby. Sit on my cock..”

The look on your face was enough to explain your feelings at the moment you never believed him when he asked you but he sat up throwing you a dirty look telling you to hurry up. Pulling your pants and underwear off swiftly leaving them on the floor as you climb onto his lap and he takes his hands into yours. Kissing the back of your hands kissing up to your shoulder calming you down from the thought of having his cock in you. Letting you hold onto his shoulders whilst he slid inside of you kissing your face when the tears started to fall from the pain that turned into pleasure.

“Just move when you are ready princess…”

Your body is still getting used to having his thick cock inside of you. The pain slowly turned into pleasure as he started to play with your breasts. Using his thumb and pointer finger to play with both nipples making you arch your back on his cock letting the tip brush against your gummy spot. Grinding your hips down on his letting your eyes roll to the back of your head from pleasure. You could feel every ridge and curve of his cock against your walls as you moved up and down his cock at a pleasurable pace.

The room was filled with ragged breaths and moans as you both chase your orgasms holding each other close. His hands trailing all over your body letting his touch send shivers down your spine. Letting out a loud moan when Wonwoo takes a strong smack on your ass cheek watching it ripple in the mirror and the hand print start to form. Spanking your ass over and over as you ride his cock more desperately as you chase your orgasm.

“Let it happen baby, you are doing so well for me”

Looking into his half lidded eyes before you kissed him but this time it was full of passion. His lips soft against yours compared to the need and urgency of you both chasing your orgasm that was just around the corner. Pulling on the hair at the bottom of his neck when he repeatedly hit against your sensitive spot making your knees buckle.

“Cum with me baby…”

Wonwoo counted you both down and you held onto each other tight when the wave of euphoria hit you both, your whole body going numb and vision going white. His thick cum shot ribbons inside of you. He came that much it was dripping out of your pussy.

“Don’t move, baby. stay.”

#hard hours #k pop smut #seventeen smut #svt smut #jeon wonwoo smut #wonwoo smut

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ghost-proofbaby · 10 months

Note

Hi!! I’m your friendly neighborhood Swiftie BEGGING you for Eddie - Sparks Fly

sparks fly (eddie's version)

warnings: tooth-rotting fluff. mutual pining. the works. <3

wc: 2.1k+

a/n: this one got mad cheesy. maybe a little too cheesy. idc. i had fun with it.

“You know, one of these days, you’re gonna have to talk to Ed,” the older bartender, Phil, muses as he wipes down the counter behind you.

You hardly hear him over the current symphony of electric guitars, riveting bass, and crashing drums filling the Hideout. You had one focus tonight, just as you did every Tuesday and Friday night, and that was the band on the stage currently commanding an even larger audience than last week.

You’d seen it coming. Building crowds, more buzzing conversations around town in hushed tones about the band that owned the stage of the hole in the wall. You’d stumbled upon them by accident, coming in and telling yourself you were just grabbing one drink after a particularly rough shift. But one drink immediately turned into four that night when the band had taken the stage, playing song after song, keeping you glued to that bar stool and completely enamored with one particular boy on stage.

Eddie Munson.

Every time you watch him command that stage, wild hair and vibrant eyes, it’s like the first time all over again. You can’t get over his wicked grin, the way he puts his entire self into each performance, the rasp of his voice – you’re down bad for a man you’ve never even properly spoken to.

By some miracle, you tear your eyes from the stage, swiveling to face Phil, “Excuse me?”

“Ed. You know, Eddie,” he repeats himself, leaning both palms on the bar, “He notices you, you know? Always asks me where you ran off to after their set’s done.”

Your heart is suddenly in your throat, embarrassment red hot in the pit of your stomach, “H-He notices me? Why would he notice me?”

“You’re at every show. Even before they started getting a proper crowd. The damn boy hasn’t shut up about you since that first night,” Phil pauses to hand off a beer to another patron wordlessly, “You’re lucky you pay with cash and not card, or I’m sure he would’ve tracked you down outside of here by now. Calls you his Cinderella.”

Like a clock chiming midnight, the final tinny note of the set rings through the bar, and you can hear that rasp of Eddie’s voice booming through the speakers.

“We have been Corroded Coffin! Thank you very fucking much!”

And just like clockwork, you’re rushing to dig into your purse, yanking a twenty from your wallet and smacking it onto the bar before grabbing your drink to down the last of it.

“I’m not Cinderella,” you choke out over the residual burn of the alcohol, face still scrunched up as you glance over your shoulder to see the boys have already left the stage, “I just like the music.”

“The music,” he hums, “Right. Well, your money’s no good here tonight, little miss Cindy,” he reaches out, and with a singular fingertip, pushes the cash back towards you over the sticky wood. When your mouth opens and closes in confusion, Phil’s eyes flicker up towards the side door beside the stage where a commotion has begun, signaling that the band is coming out, “It seems the music likes you, too. So much so that he demanded I add your drinks to his tab tonight.”

The coals of embarrassment burn even brighter, igniting you from the inside out. Your hand flies out, grabbing back the twenty and shoving it aimlessly in your purse. You keep looking back at the crowd, catching glimpses of dark curls over the small sea of people singing their praises, watching your seconds run out in real time. It’s not that you didn’t want to speak to the man who has had you captivated for several months now; you were just mortified that he’d noticed you in that crowd, noticed the way you attended each show.

One of these days you’d talk to him. But tonight, you had no bravery left for such boldness.

“You’re gonna have to leave behind a glass slipper for the boy eventually,” Phil only chuckles, watching you fumble to clasp your purse before you shoot up from the stool, “Hey, hold on-”

“Another night, Phil!” you call out, not even looking back as you make a beeline for the bar’s exit.

If you had, you would have seen your favorite ring that Phil was holding up, the one that you had taken off your finger to fiddle with endlessly before sitting it down at some point without thought, now left behind like some kind of glass slipper.

—

You were late. It was Friday night, the day had been a nightmare, and you were fucking late to Corroded Coffin’s show.

Your attendance had never faltered like this before. You were always right on time, sometimes five minutes early once the crowds doubled in size in order to secure one of your regular seats.

The deviation from your routine has you reeling, amongst other things. Your Friday had simply been shit. A nonstop rampant attack on your sanity, one thing after another testing what was left of your patience. You’d slept through your first two alarms this morning, you hadn’t realized you were out of coffee creamer until you’d grabbed the scarily light container of it this morning, you had to take a dreadfully cold shower rather than waste precious minutes letting the water warm, you’d worked through your lunch to clean up a mess made by your coworker – the list goes on and on.

You burst through the entrance of the Hideout, probably looking a bit crazed, stopping dead in your tracks when you realize two things.

One, It’s fairly empty. And two, Corroded Coffin is not on the stage.

“Look who decided to show!” Phil calls from his place behind the bar, waving dramatically to you, “Cinderella!”

“Phil, for the last time, I’m not-”

“Your favorite band canceled tonight, I’m afraid,” he bulldozes right over your retort as you approach one of your usual stools.

Your brows furrow, “Canceled? Is everything okay?”

Phil’s mouth opens. But it’s not his voice that answers you.

“Gareth’s sick.”

A voice you’d only heard on the stage, through crackling speakers and enthusiastic addresses to a crowd. A voice you had never heard one-on-one, and for good reason.

Your breath escapes you as you turn slowly, facing the man you’d managed to elude for months now.

“Pardon?” you squeak out, voice hardly audible.

Eddie still grins shyly, hearing you loud and clear due to how uncharacteristically quiet the bar is tonight, “Our drummer, Gareth – he’s, uh, sick. Sorry to disappoint.”

He’s just as captivating up close as he is on the stage. There’s still something wild in him, something electrifying that he seems completely unaware of.

“Don’t apologize,” you’re still whispering, internally cursing yourself for it. You probably look ridiculous right now; you can only picture your starry eyes and parted lips, looking at him with palpable shock, hardly able to utter a word, “I- I’m not disappointed. There’ll be other shows!” you stammer your way through your words, and when Eddie only continues to look at you with gentle amusement, the softest ripple of possible nerves from the way his hands shoved into his pockets, you continue to over explain yourself, rambling on, “I just- I, uh, hope he feels better.”

“Yeah, me too,” he nods in agreement before he buries his hands even deeper. Suddenly, as if he’s found something in those pockets, his face lights up in delight, “Oh! Hey, I-” his left hand pulls out of his pocket at lightning speed, still curled into a fist as he thrusts it into your direction, “I think this might be yours.”

Slowly, he unfurls his fingers, and in the center of his palm rests your ring. You had assumed it was lost to the fire, that it might have fallen off at work or outside your apartment, never to be found again. Just another thing to add to your checklist of things gone wrong.

And yet there it was, like a perfect glass slipper, right in the palm of Eddie’s hand.

Your nerves are all but forgotten as you get giddy, reaching out without thinking to take the ring from him. A gentle brush of your fingertips against this palm, and you swear you feel sparks flying from the minimal contact, “Oh! Oh my gosh! Thank you, I-” you slip it on easily, smiling widely before you look up at him gleefully, “I thought I’d lost it for good. Thank you.”

Eddie turns bashful, tilting down his chin and letting stray curls fall in his face that half hide his own contained grin. If the lighting in the bar had been better, you would have caught the pink spreading across his cheeks.

“And so the prince finally meets his Cinderella,” Phil mutters from behind the two of you before he suddenly smacks his palms on the countertop, “Alright! Well, if you two will excuse me, I have to…. Do some stock count in the back,” a blatant lie, “Don’t burn the place down, yeah?”

Eddie snaps out of his daze to look up to the older man, mock saluting him in a way that has an involuntary giggle leaving your lips. In an instant, he’s looking back down to you, almost surprised at the sound.

Cheap bar lighting can no longer hide his blush. Or your own adoration.

“The bar is yours! Make good decisions!” Phil continues to shout as he moves to the backroom, voice fading with each step.

Finally, you and Eddie are alone.

“And then there were two,” he murmurs, taking a step closer to you, finding something brave in him at the way you’re looking up at him in reverie.

The rockstar that had been enchanting you for months from a distance. The man who had been occupying all your thoughts far too much for having been a stranger.

This is your chance. No more hiding at the back of the bar, only admiring him with the safety of a crowd between you two. No more wondering, no more imagining, no more pining. Time stands still, not a single clock daring to strike midnight as the electric currents between you two come to a rise.

“Say,” you say right when he looks to be preparing himself to speak first. It’s time to be bold, take a risk, no matter the costs. “Do you… Do you want to grab a drink?”

His wicked grin is even better right in front of you, directed at you, “Well, he did say the bar is ours. What’s your poison?”

“Jack and coke?”

He shrugs, still a vibrant fool, like a schoolgirl with a crush, “I’ve been known to have a heavy hand with the jack, but… I think I can manage that.”

Electrifying, pulsing, the beginning of something new. You can see it now – the way you’re going to cling to his arm when he makes you laugh so hard you nearly fall off your chair, the way he’ll be able to charm you better over a jack and coke than he ever had been able to from behind a guitar, the way those eyes scream trouble. And yet at the end of the night, you know he’ll still walk you to your car through the empty parking lot. He’ll probably use the excuse of the bad weather looming overhead. When the sky finally breaks open and the first drops of rain fall, neither of you will be brave enough to admit what you both already know. Tonight’s not the night for kisses in the rain or talk of what-ifs.

That’s fine. For tonight, the sparks of something new are enough.

Eddie moves to walk behind the bar, but you throw out a reckless hand to catch him. Your first curls around his forearm for the first time tonight, and even with the layer of leather that separates skin, you can feel it. “Hey, did you really call me your Cinderella?”

Flashes and arrays of what’s to come flood both of you. It’s only the first drink. It’s only the first night.

It won’t be the last.

“I mean,” he nods subtly down to the hand holding him, where your ring glitters on your middle finger, snug on your knuckle, “If the ring fits, right?”

He’s right. The ring fits.

And a different ring fits years later, after all those kisses in the rain and many more jack and cokes that Eddie never quite perfects. And you’re still right where you belong, front row at every Corroded Coffin show, Eddie’s own personal Cinderella. When the clock strikes midnight, he’s no longer afraid – he knows you’ll be coming home to him now.

Phil only laughs when he receives the invite, chuckling to himself at the chosen theme for the two idiots that once haunted his bar who now had moved onto bigger and better things.

A gothic fairytale wedding, on a Tuesday night. How fitting.

"you touch me once and it's really something. you find i'm even better than you imagined i would be."

#speak now (ghost's version)#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson imagine #stranger things #gotta go see a dentist now #heavily inspired by the og version where she talks about meeting in a bar ngl #speak now is just so fairytale love coded to me i'm sorry #this also would have fit so well for enchanted too but #i listened to sparks fly as i wrote it i swear

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xzhdjsj · 1 month

Text

Zaros x Reader

You leave Serulla, only returning when danger threatens your kingdom

This fic is based on THIS brilliant theory by @astralbulldragon13. I simply couldn't get it out of my head and had to write about it I have to say I'm not very happy with the way this came out, but I spent too much time on it to not post it😭

Also, this is really long (almost 3.5k words) idk how it happened🤡 when I started writing it, I just couldn't stop. Plz let me know if i made any mistakes

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"There, you win. Your son is now the Eminence, but know this, if you try to rule my kingdom vicariously through your Zaros, or control his new life in any way, there is no where you could go, no hole you can hide in, that I won’t find you."

The realisation dawned on you, way before the trials began. You weren’t interested in the throne; that wasn’t where your heart lies. That position was polished and refined for your brother, but guilt has its ways of twisting one's mind and kept you fighting for a life that was stolen from him, replacing a prodigy child that was stolen from your mother.

Zaros' insults and demeaning remarks only contributed to your mindset, though that didn’t make them any less hurtful. How could they not be? Especially when coming from someone you admired and cherished. They were fuel to the fire, a constant reminder of how unfit you are.

It was hard to imagine yourself as a good ruler anyways. Sure, you were knowledgeable, but what good is education with no real experience or empathy for the struggles of your people? Not to mention being cloaked by a porcelain mask 24/7, designed and altered to meet the needs of the people around you.

Zaros, on the other hand, was different. His pernicious attitude cracked the corners of your mask, forcing raw emotions to erupt to daylight. It was a distasteful experience considering your position, but deep down you never felt more alive than when you could be yourself with him, throwing insults right back into his face. It forced the masked persona to face the real you and come to terms with what you wanted, before it was too late.

You wanted a life that was yours to live, a life where you could be yourself. Not one you are forced to live, or a person you are required to be. There were things you had to let go of and things you needed to learn.

By himself, Zaros would be a skillful leader capable of building a successful future for Serulla. He had the experience that you lacked, that alone could potentially secure Serulla a brighter future than you could ever offer. The only threat was his mother, Nira Atha’lin. She was obnoxious, quick to point out every miniscule flaw and mistake in your ways, if Zaros was unbearable, she was enough to push you to insanity. Her personality was sour and ugly, like biting into a mouldy rotting fruit. Her intentions are unclear, but it isn’t hard to see her abusing the authority of her son and the crown.

Though that didn’t matter, you trust Zaros, he would never put the wellbeing of Serulla at risk. He’s headstrong and stubborn. It’s no wonder you admire him, in some way or another he’s just like you.

He has become a decent acquaintance in your life. Looking back, he could have easily double-crossed you in the trials and spited his way to the top, but he didn’t. Every last minute of it was fair and just. Maybe that’s why you felt so strongly for him now.

Outside the hall, minutes away from a final decision, both Zaros and you stood. If you had something to do, now was the time to do it.

He reaches for the heavy gold handles of the door, but he doesn’t get to push it open.

"Zaros", you take his hand.

He ignores the door, turning to face you.

"If you are indeed the victor, which.... I have no doubt you are; I need you to promise me something."

His eyebrows perk upwards, and he steps closer, taking your hand fully in his.

"We don't know that yet. You gave me quite a challenge during the trials you know. Don't tell me you're giving up now?", signature smirk plastered to his face, though you no longer feel the need to punch it off.

“Please listen to me.”, you sigh, "I need you to promise me you'll never let Serulla suffer. I know I'm not capable of helping all the people who deserve our help, but you are. I’m certain of it, so promise me."

The seriousness in your eyes was enough to stifle his usual sarcasm.

"I... I promise." He barely mutters, no longer smiling. It’s an unusual sight, the kind that makes you feel nauseous. He's even more alarmed when you offer a pinkie to him, like you used to do years ago when you were just kids roaming the corridors and sneaking into the kitchen.

"Pinkie promise?" You smile.

He caught his own pinkie onto yours. "I promise, I'll do my best."

He knew what you were about to do. But he also knows how stubborn you are and there was no way he could stop you, no matter how desperately he wanted to.

After facing Nira that day, you smiled at him and whispered a gentle "Take care of yourself and my home for me". You swore that from that moment onwards, you’d never mask yourself again.

Those were your last words to him before you'd vanished, leaving behind only a letter. In which, you asked that he looked after your mother and detailed an apology as well as a segment of feelings you'd harboured for him. It was an intended goodbye before he forgets about you, lest you have a reason to return. You hoped you wouldn't.

Throughout your travels you faced many hardships, the expected reality of being a lone traveler. But you grew from those experiences. You learnt from the people around you and made friends.

You sharpened your survival skills as you traversed the lands, a melody of experiences of new cultures and flavours, from continents you'd only dreamt of, melted on your tongue. Those fleeting dreams were nothing compared to the reality you held in your own two hands. You learnt to appreciate life and how to trust.

The last place you ventured was the Northern Nation, though their reputation is scandalous, their culture is rich. What you weren’t expecting was to meet see a familiar face, a palace staff, an informant no less. Only now he worked for Nira, delivering letters to the most dangerous kingdom of all the nations and had informed you that you were banned from the home you grew up in.

After 8 years, it was time to turn back. It was time to head home.

There was a masquerade ball being held in Serulla at dawn, the perfect opportunity to tiptoe into the palace unnoticed. What was the plan? You weren’t entirely sure but one way or another you had to speak to Zaros. If you marched in like you own the place, you would be promptly kicked out a few feet upon entering the gate. It’s a good thing you knew your way around every crack and crevice like the back of your hand. It shouldn’t be too hard blending in once you’re inside. But first you needed clothes and a mask, nothing extravagant, just enough to blur into the masses.

Learning to walk silently made slipping in as easy as dreaming, before you could blink you were in the ballroom. Oh, did it feel nostalgic, you remember the times you were the main focus of these elaborate events. Now look at you, sneaking in and avoiding any attention whatsoever. You missed these walls, they look the exact same since you’ve left them, grand, luxurious and unchanged. You couldn’t help but take a minute to reminisce and admire.

“Can I ask for a dance later, mysterious stranger?” a young man snapped you out of your trance.

“I’m afraid not sir. I have prior arrangements for the evening”, you bow. “My sincerest apologies.”

What a nuisance, you thought, abruptly turning and leaving. You had to find Zaros. As King of Serulla he had to be here, his presence is of utmost importance and entirely compulsory for this kind of event. Perhaps he’d show up later in the evening, all you had to do was wait amongst the crowd. Maybe a drink would take the edge off while you do, maybe it would help you ignore the eyes you felt burning holes into your back.

Hours later the arrival of the king was finally announced, and there he was, fashionably late in all his blond glory. He’s just as captivating as you left him all those years ago, just as beautiful and refined. It was like staring at the sun, glowing so brightly it just might blind someone. Yes, you were staring, but so was everyone else. Who wouldn’t stare when graced with the presence of the King himself? His lips moved as he acknowledged his audience, but your mind was too preoccupied with gawking at him to hear a single word. You’re yanked back to reality when the crowd scatters at his dismissal, so you retreat to a space further away, where you could keep an eye on him as he conversed with guests. It would be unwise to approach him now, there’s too many eyes on him this early into the night. Once the crowd has had their fill of wine and was no longer capable of seeing any further than their nose, you’d seize the opportunity to steal him away.

Lay low, keep an eye on him. Two simple tasks to accomplish. But the fool you’d rejected earlier in the eventing, now a drunken fool, apparently doesn’t understand the meaning of two simple letters, no. You rejected him twice already but he keeps coming back.

“I’m not taking no for answer hic- you simple must dance with me”, before you could reject him again, he’s dragging you to the floor. If it weren’t for the fact that you didn’t want any attention tonight, his arm would’ve been broken on the spot.

You struggle in his grip as he swayed you, haphazardly and arrhythmic to the music, and FUCK you lost sight of Zaros. If only this imbecile would let go of you! And cease his gooselike movements!

“Unfortunately, good sir, they’re not available to dance with YOU this evening.”, you’re backed into a hard wall, a clothed wall? A familiar smelling wall. A speaking wall.

His sticky hands are gone from your body in an instant, he even backs away from you.

“You-your Majesty”, he stuttered.

“All of their dances are promised to me tonight. I’ll assume you weren’t aware and turn a blind eye just this once.”, the wall speaks again, replacing unpleasant hands with a gentle yet possessive grip. It's very obvious who this wall is.

“Now if you’ll excuse us, I’ll be stealing them away now”, he doesn’t wait for a response, pulling you further onto the dance floor. You’re still facing away from him as he guides your body to the tune that swirls the room.

“Welcome back Earis” he whispers and you can just hear the smirk he’s wearing.

“A bit of a lost cause on such title now, aren’t I?” you answer. “How did you know it was me?”, he moved your body effortlessly, like it was made specially to fit beneath his palms.

“How could I not? I could feel your eyes on me all night.” Following the music, he spins you around to finally face him. “Even if death took me, I’d still remember those eyes.”

You scoff, “How charming. But everyone’s eyes are on you tonight.”

“Hmm you think so? A shame, none are as captivating as yours.”

“I need to speak to you Zaros.”

“We’re speaking right now, are we not?”

Fuck, why does he always have to be so difficult?

“Not here. I need to speak to you in private.”

There was too much attention on him for you to speak freely, it’s a surprise guards haven’t escorted you out the room yet.

“Sounds alarming. And just when I thought you came back to see me.” he fakes a frown, and let’s go of your hand as he ends the dance. You curtsy, and he leans closer to whispers for you to follow him. He leaves first and you linger around the corners before disappearing yourself.

Eventually you’re back in the abandoned hallways of the palace, walking with Zaros.

“So why are you back?”

“I’ve made a recent discovery, and I was worried. I needed to talk to you about it.”

“Worried?”

“You’re aware of the notoriety of the Northern Nation, correct?”

“Who isn’t? Their name stains chapters of history text with the blood they’ve spilt.”

“Yes, that’s why it was a surprise when I found out your mother exchanges letters with their King and his court.”

He halts, “What? What are you talking about?”

You turn to him, removing the mask from your face. “While I stayed in the city of the Northern Nation, I recognised a familiar face. A Surullian informant. I’ve seen him work for my mother for years, naturally, I was confused by his presence there.”, you sigh. “I tried to get as much information as I could from him, but he knew nothing. He had simple instructions from your mother to deliver the letters to and from the Northern Kingdom. Unfortunately for me, he had already passed on the letters, so I did not get a look. He swore to never tell a soul of our encounter to avoid any further issues, but I also found out I'm blacklisted here.”

“What are you saying? Why would she even want to converse with the Northern Kingdom? An alliance with them is like an alliance with hyenas. They bring nothing but war and bloodshed. And what on Earth do you mean ‘blacklisted’?”, he shouts in frustration. “She’s my mother, I trust her. I find it all of this hard to believe.”

“Hah of course you don't believe me." you look around frantically. "Follow me.”

He stomped after you as you made your way for the nearest set of guards.

“Wait here, and watch.”

You walked up to them, as if to inquire something, only to be quickly apprehended.

“Let go of them immediately! What do you think you're doing?”, Zaros march in their direction.

“Apologies, your Majesty. We’re only following orders!”

“Whose orders?”, he yells.

“Lady Atha’lin, you Majesty!”, the fear is evident in their voices, and you give him a knowing look.

“Fuck”, he whispers under his breathe. “You’re dismissed and inform every guard in this palace that no one is to lay a finger on them. Do you hear me?”, he says, curt and unforgiving, as they shuffle away clumsily.

“As I said, blacklisted. Do you believe me now mama’s boy?”

If looks could kill, you’d be dead in milliseconds the way he glared at you. He's angry as can be, it’s not every day the tables are turned.

“A shame, had I been kicked out at the gates, you’d be oblivious to your mommy’s devious little plans.” You push.

“Oh what do you care? You left Serulla for 8 years. You’re back to warn me once and suddenly you’re high and might?”

“Hah, I was not just here to warn you. No Zaros, my initial plan was to meet your mother directly.”, you roll your eyes.

“Allow me to refresh your memory, 8 years ago, before I left, I made a promise to Nira Atha’lin that if she threatened Serulla in any way I’d be back to drag to her to hell with me. For your sake, I wanted to meet you first. But know this Zaros, if you’re incapable of handling your mother, I am not. I have no qualms in removing her by force, with or without your permission.”

You went overboard, but it was too late to take it back. The anger in his eyes boils over, as does the internal turmoil, but he keeps silent. He paces back and forth, and it might be better if you left him alone with his thoughts for a while.

“I’ll leave you be for now, when you are ready to find me again, I’ll be in the garden.”, a vast contrast to the tone you had previously.

You leave Zaros to decipher his feelings alone, it would be better if you weren’t there. You were annoyed at him for doubting you, yet that was no way for you to speak to him, especially considering the amount of information to process in such short time. How did it even progress that quickly? Sometimes old habits are hard to kill. You needed to apologise to him later.

The garden is still as beautiful as it always was, flourishing healthily despite your mother’s absence. You had heard of it, the news circulated Serulla and its neighbouring nations with the passing wind. The Queen was no more, and her child was absolutely vile for leaving her. People will always talk.

But it looks like Zaros kept his promise to take care of your home.

The garden was silence, as you stood before the two memorial tablets mounted there. One for your brother, another for your mother. You prayed that somewhere in her heart she’d forgiven you for leaving her alone. You wipe away the tears that warmed your cheek.

“She kept speaking highly of you, to the very end.”, his voice startles you, relaxed and calmer now.

“I don’t deserve it, I left her. But there was no point in returning then, if anything it made me not want to return at all.”, you replied, kissing the top of the stone with your mother’s name carved into it.

“I’m sorry.”, he sounded sincere, the most sincere you’ve ever heard him be.

“It’s not your fault, we all have to die one day, do we not?”

“No, for not stopping you from leaving.”

“What?”, confusion thickens your voice. “What are you talking about?”

“All these years you were gone, I couldn’t help but believe it was my fault. I felt guilty, like I pushed you out of your own home. Like this was never truly my place, but yours. I’d found you again after 8 years, only for you to slips through my fingers for another 8. I really am sorry.”

“Zaros.”, you stand directly in front of him. “That was not your fault. I chose to leave. I wanted to, I had to find myself. If anything, your stupid insults helped me, although they still hurt, don't get me wrong. Besides look at how well off Serulla is! You are more of a ruler than I ever would’ve been-”

“And I missed you.” He cuts you off and silence ensues, save for the soft howls of the wind. You didn’t expect him to confess that to you so openly and easily.

“I… I missed you too.” He takes a breath and smiles, not one of his devious smirks or teasing grins. A real genuine smile that once again showed a sincerity you were unfamiliar with. You sit with him in silence for a long time, admiring the stars and flowers. and you remembered a conversation you had a long time ago. He was right watching them in the moonlight was comforting. You could only hope he feels the same way right now.

“Remember how you told me to look at the flowers in the garden at night? It was so long ago; I almost don’t remember their name. What were they called again? Bitter bell something?”, you reminisced.

“Bitter bell dureni” (sorry ik I probably butchered that idk how to spell)

“Right, yes those. I got to see them tonight. They really are beautiful.”

“I’m sorry for how I reacted.", he confessed. "I promised you I’d keep Serulla safe, and I intend to keep that promise, even if it means revoking all authorities from my mother.”

“I’d much rather not use violence too. I apologise for provoking you.”

“I suppose it was a taste of my own medicine”, he laughs and you join him. “Does this mean you’re leaving again?”

“What? Do you want me to leave that badly?”

“Ha-ha, very funny.”

“No, I plan on staying a while, as long as your guards keep their hands to themselves of course.”, he laughs again and you can see yourself getting addicted to it. He sounds serene.

“Then, it’s my honour to have you.”, he reaches for your hand. “Come, your old room has been vacant for 8 years. It’s about time someone used it.”

“You kept my room vacant?”

“I may have had a little hope you’d return some day. To Serulla. To me.”

It’s hard not to smile when he says such things.

You take his hand, placing a gentle kiss on his cheek, and he averts his gaze, though not enough to hide the dusty pink shade of his skin.

“I have another question.”,

“Yes?”

“Did you really mean all those things you said in your letter?”

It’s silent again as you walk the familiar path to your room. You both knew the answer to that.

#zsakuva #sakuverse #asmr #zaros #zsakuva zaros #zaros x reader

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freesidexjunkie · 5 months

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"If the Dalish could raise someone with a spirit like yours... have I misjudged them?"

This isn't blind flattery towards the Inquisitor. It's not "I'm questioning my whole plan of world ending because I have a crush" (if you romanced him.) "Have I misjudged them?"

He woke up and saw a hollow, empty, husk of a world with husks of people walking around, bickering and fighting over everything and nothing. He didn't expect to find beauty here. He didn't expect to find friends to care about (and he does genuinely care about them, in his party banter and dialogue). He didn't expect to find someone to love. Has he misjudged the Dalish, in his haste to write them off as a pale imitation? Has he misjudged the worth of this world?

The implications of that are staggering though. Imagine you have a house with your family. The house is rotten through and through; mildewed and molded, rotten floorboards, leaking ceilings. Doors and windows don't close, holes in the walls, termite-riddled supports. But there is no other house to live in. What do you do? Do you let your family keep living in that house, cold and wet and sick? Do you try to fix it? Where do you start? How much work will these renovations take? When do you start to consider that you could just tear the house down, and build a new one? You don't want to leave your loved ones with nowhere to live, but look at this house. It won't last like this. They deserve better.

So you do it. You start to tear down the house, even though it's a big risk. The biggest you've ever taken. But now, in this transitional period, where you're finally free to build a better house with sturdy walls and strong supports and a watertight roof and windows that shut - you lose your whole family. They can't live without a house.

You can't live without one, either. But imagine you come back, decades later, to find the house even more run down and destroyed. And there are people living in it. People who don't seem to care that the house is in such a sorry state - it's the only way they've ever known the house. And even though it's so ruined and rotten, it's far better than no house. They can't live without a house, either. But these squatters, these primitive, unrefined, barely grasping at how to live people. They are still in the house. The house you tried to tear down to build a better one. And maybe if you can just build a new house, a really good house, your family can come back. Or at least you can start to reclaim what you lost. And this miserable, dilapidated, sorry excuse for a shack is nothing but a sore on your memory now. The people inside are nothing compared to your family.

So you knock a giant fucking hole in the side of the wall. Didn't help, but you didn't get caught, and the people inside welcome you with open arms. You say you can help them, you know a lot about the house. Your nature isn't cruel and callous; you took these big risks in the first place because you can't help but care about people. So why does it surprise you so much when you start to care about these people? They're little more than children rooting around in the dirt, struggling to understand the house. They don't even know how bad the house is.

The house can't be left standing the way it is. That's very clear. But tearing it down, to make way for the house you dreamt of building... wouldn't that doom these people too? But can you let them keep living like this, in this filth and muck? You hate this house, this house that's taken everything from you. You want to destroy it and build a better home for all of you. Maybe even your family; if not them, you can build something new and reclaim what you lost trying to fix this house. But the house isn't a blight to the people here now; it's home, as horrid as it is. It's where they've loved and lived and wept.

Do you still try to repair what you can, piece by piece? Hoping your hands can replace the rot faster than it spread? Do you leave the house the way it is, pretend it's better to have this than nothing, even knowing how soon it could be nothing? The people here are sick, cold, dirty - just like your family. They're suffering, even if it is home. How do you handle this?

There are no easy or right answers. If you ignore the rot, it will spread; the effort it will take to fix the house might be more than building a new one, and people will fight you every step of the way to preserve their image of the house's wonky beauty. If you do tear it down, the people here now might die of exposure. If you told them you wanted to tear it down, they'd fight you tooth and nail; if you didn't, they'd still be inside when it came tumbling down. You'd lose more people. How much do you care about these people? Can you even reclaim your family, even if you do build the new house?

There don't feel like any right answers. The only wrong answer feels like inaction. But what action can you possibly take?

#solas #da solas #solas dragon age #solas dread wolf #solas dai #dread wolf #dragon age #da:i #da: inquisition #dragon age inquisition #solas apologist and I will die on this hill

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miquella-everywhere · 1 month

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Godwyn the Golden and the Cursed Empyrean Twins

So starting off, Godwyn the Golden is simultaneously one of the most important and enigmatic figure in Elden Ring Lore. What we do know is that he a charismatic and powerful Demigod, having lead the War of the Ancient Dragons to victory while also befriending is enemies, but at his end becoming a Martyr during the Night of the Black Knives and subsequently the Prince of Death, which has caused, so many problems throughout the Lands Between.

But I am here to analyze the relationship between Godwyn, Miquella and Malenia, and how much of Godwyns influence made the twins into in the people that they are currently.

Godwyn lorewise is a pretty fantastic dude. He was a valiant warrior, he befriends one of his greatest enemies and their friendship was so string said enemy turned friend, loved him so much he went inside of Godwyn to fight literal Death, and more importantly, he is clearly a revered and beloved figure between the Empyrean Twins, Miquella and Malenia.

Godwyn was close with the twins and the statue of him in the Haligtree Promenade has the Golden Demigod depicted as a protector and possible nurturer of the Twins, so he cared for them a great deal and Miquella and Malenia loved and adored Godwyn in turn.

In Leyndell there's a house in the far corner of the city that has several Miquella's Lily's growing in the front implying that Miquella lived there along with Malenia in their youth, and the fact that it's segregated from the rest of the city, and that you have to go by the apothecary building to get to it, it was likely that the rest of the populace was afraid of the Twins, but more specifically Malenias Rot.

But there was probably one person who wasn't afraid. That was Godwyn. And it wouldn't surprise me if Godwyn was Miquella and Malenia's primary caretaker in the beginning of their lives.

So when I think about it, Godwyn was probably there for them at the very beginning, he empathized with their afflictions and how their curses practically stunted and crippled their lives.

But I also believe that Godwyn was an encouraging figure and gave hope to the Twins. Godwyn was a fierce warrior in his own right and Malenia, who grew up to be just the same, was likely given instruction in the art of battle from Godwyn in her younger years, and he was likely her main tutor before she set off on her own journey in her adolescence and met her Blind Master.

The one thing that I love about this statue is the fact that it is Malenia who is embracing Godwyn, with her remaining arm wrapped tightly around her older brothers chest

Godwyn and Miquellas relationship is an interesting one to look closer at because the one thing that we know about Godwyn is that he was likely very kind due to his relationship with Fortissax, and Miquella too is kind, as he is well known for his acceptance of those rejected by the Golden Order. So if anything, it is a strong indicator that Godwyns kindness heavily influenced Miquella.

Not mention the fact that, at this point, Godwyn is the oldest of all the Demigods, the years that he has behind him and the wisdom/historical knowledge he has about the world would have been immense. And Miquella who is very curious by nature, had Godwyn there to answer the many questions Miquella had about the world. Miquella without a doubt looked up to Godwyns heroic demeanor and worldly knowledge with absolute awe.

Godwyn: *talking about how fast he can go on fortissax before the sheer wind force yeets him off*

Miquella: :D✨

And now, whatever the truth is behind the Night of the Black Knives, it very clearly was a tragedy that weighed heavily on the Twins as Miquella went on to create Golden Epitaph in commemoration of Godwyns death.

A golden sword imbued with the humble prayer of a young boy: "O brother, Lord Brother, please die a true death."

Golden Epitaphs description explains to us that Miquella wishes for Godwyn to be free from the horrific curse that has been placed upon his flesh, and the commemorative sword wasn't the only thing that Miquella has done for Godwyn after his death.

The Wandering Mausoleums are a bit of a mystery, but the more you read into them it becomes very apparent that they are in some way connected to Godwyn and Miquella devising a way to either free Godwyn from his state of Undeath, or to somehow restore his soul to his body. And this ritual involves the Eclipse

So we can easily deduce that one of Miquellas primary goals is to save Godwyn from the terrible fate that has been handed to him either by restoring his soul to his body or by granting him a true death. And with the new trailer shedding more light on the DLC, I am almost certain that Godwyn will have a pivotal role and more information will be revealed surrounding him.

But what can be said for certain is that Miquellas motives are driven by the love that he has for his older brother.

And now we can only wait.

#míquella ABSOLUTELY wept the night godwÿn was killed #mal would have wept if she could but her emtions were just as tumultuous 😭#elden ring #miquella the unalloyed #godwyn the golden #malenia blade of miquella #elden ring theory #uri posts

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thelightsandtheroses · 3 months

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six. even the iron still fears the rot

Your Hand In Mine | Joel Miller x female reader.

Chapter summary: the past comes back to haunt you leading to a drastic decision. Chapter warnings: angst, discussions and flashbacks to descriptions of cults, religion and cult behaviour, past emotional abuse, love bombing and manipulation, the cult leader is a dangerous person, one instance of physical violence, guilt, PTSD , there is the very briefest allusion to homophobia (not direct), flashbacks, discussions of death and canon typical violence, passing mention of being an orphan, breakups, reference to pregnancy (reader is a single mother). Reader has a backstory but no physical descriptors. Word Count: 4.4k Notes -This is a big chapter, beginning a plot I have had planned for a long time and that I was so nervous about. I must thank the lovely @joelsgreys encouraged and supported me to write this idea from the start. The chapter title is from Ptolemaea by Ethel Cain (who can you believe I only discovered last week?!) Also I changed the image aesthetic a bit as I've loved seeing some other fics with this sort of three pic moodboard recently.

Previous | Series | Next

“We need to talk about the Junction.”

In seven words, Beau and Sean have swept away every sense of security, of hope, of foolish optimism from you.

None of you speak as you unlock the library with shaking, sweaty hands. It takes three attempts to put the key in the lock, you can hear a strange sound, almost like an injured animal in the distance. The three of you walk in.

You lean against the wall, shutting your eyes as you try and centre yourself before you can look at your best friends’ faces.

“What’s happened?” you ask finally. "Why are you bringing up the past?"

Now is not then, you tell yourself. You are not that person anymore - you are a mother, you are stronger, more resilient. You repaired your cracks with gold. You are whole, you are different, you are you.

The Junction has no idea what they’re facing. If they’re here. If this is happening.

Sean reaches into his pocket and produces a small piece of paper. There’s a design on it, simple but familiar.

“Tommy and Joel found this less than five miles away on patrol. It was carved onto a tree.”

“Carved?”

“Yeah, so they took a sketch of it. They were asking around the Tipsy Bison about it, wondered if had seen the symbol before - knew it wasn’t Fireflies or FEDRA, guess it worried them. They showed it to me,” Beau says flatly. “I wondered if it was them, so I went straight to Sean. He said - he said it was, or he thinks it is. We need you to confirm it though.”

“It’s them, isn’t it?” Sean asks, his voice soft and eyes desperate for you to say no, to stop this nightmare in its tracks.

You can’t say it. You can only nod, meeting your best friend’s heartbroken eyes reluctantly.

“Scouting symbol,” you say quietly. ‘He designed it as a code but he designed a lot of things like that, I didn’t expect much would come of it at the time. I guess -” You pause. “If they’re nearby then it sounds they lost the settlement and have been moving around. I can’t remember exactly what the symbol was meant to mean, but it was definitely for scouting, or to mark - to mark something.”

You thought you would have more time. Time to build something with Joel, to watch Gabriel become the man you know he will be. You had started to hope, to dream.

Dreaming has always been dangerous.

You’ve been on borrowed time for seventeen years.

You expected to panic, to feel more anxious or upset. You had thought you’d sob, fall apart on the floor like you have before, burn with the agony of it all. There’s ice running through you instead and a cool detachment. You don’t recognise your voice, don’t recognise your body. You’re gone, an observer watching a stranger so far away from reality.

“How soon can we get ammo, get supplies?” you ask.

“You can’t think we’re going to outrun this, sweetheart. Not when they’re less than five miles away,” Beau says, shaking his head.

“We’re fucked,” Sean whispers, “less than five miles this morning, they could be - shit. We can’t even run, can we? We’re fucked.” He looks down at his hands, rakes his hands over his hair.

Your past has finally come back to haunt you.

You should have just told Gabriel the truth about his father. You should have told him where you took him away from.

You should have told him a lot of things.

2004

“We are at a moment right now where the only thing we can do is change. The old ways failed us; we let our hate, our differences, our selfishness dictate our lives and we have all paid a price for this. In our loss, in their names, we stand at a junction and we have a choice right now. Will you listen to me? Will we move forward together and carve a new path, take the route to peace and away from the horrors we have seen?”

The world’s changed a lot in the last six months. Pandemics, death, a whole new dictionary where abbreviations like FEDRA, QZs mean something now and some many words have become redundant. There’s been a lot of death. Survival, that feels like the best outcome right now, living feels like something impossible.

They’ll find a cure soon. The smartest people left in the world are working on it.

They’ll find a cure soon. This can’t go on like this forever.

They’ll find a cure soon. There’s no other option.

One day in a year or two, you’ll look back on this with Sean and giggle. Do you remember the winter of 2003? Do you remember when we had to live in a QZ and when mushrooms became sinister for a short time? It’ll be something to tell your grandchildren, huddled around a fire and after a long and normal life. You’ll go back to cinemas and dinner at restaurants, to finally getting broadband installed, to a future. There will be scars, of course, but society will move on before you’ve even recognised those.

Humanity will survive, it will endure this. You have to believe that.

There are rumours though - rumours of life in and outside the QZ being lawless, of the loss of society, that humanity isn’t thriving right now.

You had different plans for this year. You didn’t expect to be in a small one bedroomed apartment with Sean. You didn’t expect to be an orphan - or an assumed one at least. Maybe they’re still alive. You hope they are, hope their flight made it to their location, that Cordyceps isn’t so bad over there. You wonder what their lives are like - a two-week vacation that’s turned into months. You’ll laugh about this with them one day.

You live in denial because it’s easier. Because one day this will be all a bad memory. You’ll be back on the path towards the life and career you were working towards, and the months spent picking up shifts in a laundromat and community kitchen to live in a run-down building will soon be a distant memory.

You meet him on a Tuesday. You’re at the laundromat and reading a battered library book, enjoying this rare moment when you’re alone, when he walks in.

There’s something about him that immediately commands your attention. He’s tall, muscular and carries himself with confidence.

“Hi,” he says, noticing you watching him. “Haven’t seen you before.”

You nod, placing your book down quietly. “There’s only one dryer working, I’m afraid.” You’re not sure if there’ll ever be more than one dryer working at this point - there’s a shortage of parts and tumble dryers are hardly a priority right now. The one working dryer will just become a Frankenstein of other machine parts, of hope and duct tape until it finally dies. Maybe there will be a cure by then though.

“That’s no worry. I’m Ethan,” the man replies with a faint smile.

You say your name in response and he repeats it like he’s trying to store it in his memory. You feel exposed, perceived in a way you hadn’t anticipated.

You suspect though. You suspect that somehow an axis has marginally tilted, a change has occurred.

You don’t believe in love at first sight. Life isn’t like a movie after all, or if it is, then right now it’s only a horror film. You don’t believe that you can just fall someone instantly. Or you didn’t.

It’s magnetic, his energy, his charisma. You love how his voice sounds, the way his hair falls slightly into piercing eyes. He speaks with care, looks at you like he really cares what you think to his words. He reminds you of the men you’d fantasise about meeting while in college. You thought you’d just wander into a coffee shop on your way to your next seminar and there he’d be.

Even here in a dingy and dirty laundromat, you feel those butterflies.

You’re sure you’ve never met anyone like him before and you have a sense that you will never meet anyone else like him.

You have no idea how right you are.

“Is it a church thing? Really?” Sean asks, taking a gulp of water before leaning against the kitchen sink. “I thought you said after your parents -”

“I don’t think it’s really religious,” you say, “Ethan told me it was more about a sense of self than anything theistic. It’s like a support group from what he said.”

“Thought you hated therapy.”

“Yeah, well, then the world ended.”

“Touché. Can’t you go alone?”

“I could, but I don’t want to,” you say, a teasing smile as you meet your best friend’s eyes. “I want you to meet Ethan. Tell me what you think.”

You need Sean to meet Ethan because it feels like Ethan could be important. You want Sean to like him, to approve of him. You need to him to.

“I don’t know, hon, it sounds - I don’t know what it’s about.”

“Sean, it’s just a workshop, what harm could it possibly do?”

Sean cocks an eyebrow and sighs. “Fine, we’ll check it out. How bad can it be?”

Famous last words.

“The Junction is here. Humanity has failed in our mission, but it isn’t all lost. We can start afresh, become something better. Every one of us in this room has hope, has what is needed to rebuild our world to save us. The threats of cordyceps, of violence cannot stand in our way … we must not let these evil forces win.”

It starts so slowly. You become friends as he frequents the launderette more and more. You get to know each other..

You’re not what sure to expect from his workshops but his words are compelling. He makes sense. What he says is rational - until it strays into something else, but it’s still got that root of logic. He’s just stressed, you reason, more people are talking about the workshops.

You fall for him.

He brings you a bunch of roses to the laundrette. Roses.

You haven’t seen roses since the outbreak, you’re not sure anyone has ever bought you flowers like this. You have no idea how he’s got them, but he’s got them for you.

He’s so smart, so compassionate and it’s more than that, he really listens to you. Falling in love with Ethan is the easiest thing in the world. You hadn’t spent much time dating before the outbreak, had been too afraid in the immediate aftermath. You think Ethan might be the first man you’ve ever fallen in love with.

He starts to invite to sit with him at his workshops, places an arm around you when you speak in sessions. You swell with pride because out of everyone, he’s chosen you.

So you drag Sean to more workshops, you bring friends from your apartment building. You want more people to hear Ethan because he’s changed your life. What else could he do for people?

Time passes. Ethan’s language starts to change again. It’s starting to shift from collective processing of the trauma, the unceasing horror of the last year to something different. It’s less about you all and more about Ethan, about his visions and him. Ethan knows the way through the Junction.

He’ll lead you all through.

It’s your fault really, what happens next. You set everything in motion. You’re almost mugged on the way home from the launderette one night. His next workshop talks about the pain of this post-cordyceps world, of the way FEDRA encourages lawlessness to steer us from the right path, towards evil and ruin.

He says that the QZ is actively fighting against you all need to do. It is fighting for the wrong turn at the next junction. That can’t happen. You can’t raise a family here, make a life, not when society continues to fall apart in front of you. You’re scared walking to your apartment at night now, so you think he must be right. There’s the possibility of something better with him.

So when Ethan says maybe it’s time to leave the QZ, you think he might be right. Of course you’d go with him, where else could you go? You beg Sean to come with you, you’re terrified he’ll die when the QZ falls otherwise.

That’s another mistake.

2005

“The thing is, it’s not about cordyceps. Not really. That was only the vehicle to lead us here, to show me the way forward. We must build afresh here. I have been spoken to and I know this - this community is the only way humanity survives. I will lead us to ensure that humanity is not lost. We had to leave the QZ because the agents of chaos and evil were there, they knew what we needed to do, they knew my mission. We have a chance here. We have a chance here to grow and survive and thrive. This is my mission, our collective goal. The Junction will succeed where FEDRA failed, where the old ways. I received a message; we’re heeding it by being here. The hard work is being done now. The Junction is the future.”

The Junction move to what was once a gated community many miles outside of the QZ. It’s self-sufficient to a point, with high walls, generators, and access to facilities. In some ways, it’s almost like a miniature QZ- it’s better though.

A former resident suggested the location to Ethan and he said he knew right there and then it was where you all need to be. He said it was a sign; that he was told everyone needed to be there.

It’s going to be idyllic. That’s what he’s promised. It’s what you believe.

You love him.

You marry Ethan on a summer’s day to the entire Junction as witnesses. You are so in love, you don’t see the looming clouds, the storm ahead. It’s a whirlwind romance, a sign of hope in this terrifying world. Your relationship, he tells you, is a symbol for all of his followers, it’s the lynchpin to keep your community together.

You read through his notes, they’re less like inspirational words and more like sermons now, but he says that’s fine. He says he’s spoken to the Divine . It’s his duty, his destiny. It’s yours to help him too.

You believe he is a good man. It’s your responsibility to help him lead everyone through this mess.

You love him.

When you’re in love you can excuse things though. Those subtle language shifts: we to I, debates on decisions to instructions, the focus on how you represent him as opposed to how you feel, what you want.

The pressure starts to constrict around your neck just a little. It’s all becoming too much, you’re not Ethan, you don’t know how to be a leader, or a leader’s wife.

You take every note he offers in the spirit of self-improvement , tweak every behaviour to get things right. Ethan needs this from you.

The Junction needs this from you.

You need to do better.

You love him.

And if you notice the way Sean’s brow furrows every time you speak or see him now, the way he shakes his head sometimes, or the way he opens his mouth but doesn’t seem able to say the words he wants to, you put it aside. He’s struggling to adjust - that’s all.

It has to work here. If it doesn’t, you know you will die outside the Junction, that the QZs will already be falling. Ethan tells you he’s heard on the radio numerous have already fallen. You can’t find the same messages on the radio when you try alone though. You believe him though.

You’re the last stand for humanity.

This is the only way.

Ethan is your only option.

You are so in love with him.

Time passes. There’s a bad harvest, the seeds don’t take. Ethan says, it’s a sign the group’s faith is false, that they are somehow poisoning the group. Ethan becomes obsessed with the fact he needs to root the traitor out.

You’re not allowed to proof-read his speeches anymore, not involved in his congregation. He won’t discuss his beliefs, his visions with you.

You are in love with him though.

His eyes on you feel searching, scathing, and sinister.

You start to feel scared; a twisting sense of sickness and fear that perhaps this, this isn’t going to be okay. This isn’t just an intentional community, is it?

You have doubts about Ethan too, about the glint in his eyes, about the way he sometimes talks about Sean or other congregants, about you.

He doesn’t like you leaving the house these days because you keep saying the wrong things, keep unintentionally undermining his views. You stop answering the door to Sean, you listen to old radio broadcasts and wish you could be a better wife. A better believer.

After one sermon, he breaks the radio by throwing it against the living room wall. Your world becomes so much smaller again.

The doubts are getting louder now. Maybe the Junction is … no, that word belongs in movies and tv shows, in a time that’s long since passed. However, maybe it’s not what you thought. Maybe Ethan’s not what you thought.

It’s just … you really do love him, right?

“Is it you?” Ethan asks, eyes wild and desperate. You’re not sure what’s happened; one second you’re in your kitchen, sitting at the table and talking to him and now you can feel the cold wall against your back, Ethan’s hot breath so close to you, the feel of his hand on your hair. “Are you the reason why? Are you the reason why this is falling apart? You don’t believe, do you? It’s you, it’s you. You’re a curse, you’re a goddamned curse.” “Of course I believe, of course I do.” “You’re lying.” He’s right about that. Ethan is not who you thought. The Junction is dangerous. You need to leave. You know this now. You don’t want to die here. You don’t want Sean to die here either; you bought him into this mess, the two of you need to leave this place soon. Alive.

Jackson, WY, 2024

There isn’t much of a choice. You need suppliers, weapons, a plan before you can even think about leaving Jackson.

Beau’s right - this isn’t something you can outrun. It isn’t as simple as it used to be. Gabriel’s too old to be told he’s going on an adventure and cheerfully tag along without question - it was hard enough getting him to leave Kansas.

There’s Joel too, Ellie … you don’t know what to tell them.

You know that Jackson isn’t safe with the looming threat of the Junction. You’ve built a life here; a home and you want to protect that.

Besides they could already be here, you think, mentally running through every trader or newcomer you remember seeing in recent weeks.

“Is everything okay?” Gabriel asks softly, sitting next to you on the faded couch. “Beau and Sean seem … tense.”

“They’re fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.”

Gabriel frowns, looks away.

You could tell him. He’s sixteen. You could tell him the truth. He wants the truth.

You can barely live with it though; barely live with your own part in it all. You proofread his sermons. You want to give him a father that’s safe, a memory of a good man. Not a deranged, dangerous cult leader.

The air is thick with smoke. You can hear the flames consuming the wooden building, can hear people yelling in the distance. Your distraction failed. There’s a gun in your hands, aiming at him. You can’t stop shaking. “Just - just let us leave,” you say desperately. “You’re my wife.” “Ethan -” “You’re pregnant, you think I didn’t know?” Your panic heightens. This is the reason you’ve been desperate to escape with Sean, to find somewhere else ... you didn’t think he knew. “I won’t let you go like this. I won’t let you take a child from me. My child. They’re going to - when he’s born, everything will be okay again.” No. Ethan cannot be in your child’s life. You cannot raise a child in a cult. You raise your hands once more and pull the trigger.

“You know I love you, right?” you ask your son.

“Mum,” he groans, sounding out every syllable - the epitome of a teenager, ”Of course I know that.”

“Good, I’d do anything for you, kid.”

Love.

It’s a strange word; a weapon, a revelation, a lullaby. You grew up with messages about soulmates, about princesses finding their Prince Charming and happy-ever-afters. The world changed; those views were exposed for their naïveté more than ever. It became a dream. Something for other people, not you. Then you met Ethan and love became real, tangible. Dangerous.

You didn’t want that type of love again. Relationships were casual, you kept detached, held something back.

Then Joel stole your goddamn bench and ruined everything.

You feel an ache in your stomach as you watch him working on the porch of an empty house. The mailbox says it belonged to the Bensons, you wonder where they are, what became of them, who will move to this house one day.

“How is it?” you call.

Joel looks up and over at you, a smile widening.

You want to drink in every detail of Joel, commit every freckle, the feel of his fingers on your skin, the sound of his voice as he talks to you, the way he looks when he wakes up … every single part of him.

“Hi,” he says lowly, wincing slightly as he stands up. “It’s in pretty good shape actually - just the porch here needs some work.”

“Wow,” you say, aimlessly swinging your hands as you move closer to him.

“How’s the library been?”

“I wasn’t there today,” you say, honestly, “I had to help Sean.” Not that either of you achieved much. You were in the greenhouses and spent most of your day planning, panicking, and pacifying your anxieties.

There were no immediate solutions to the situation you’d found yourselves in so none of you slept much last night as the worry permeated your mind. Except for Gabriel, perhaps - your beautiful son, the reason you needed a better plan.

Well, there are other reasons too.

Joel touches your shoulder gently. “You okay, sweetheart? You look -”

“Don’t, don’t you finish that sentence, darling,” you say in your breeziest voice.

Joel frowns slightly, furrows his brow.

“How’s Ellie?” you ask, desperate to get this conversation back on track.

“She’s good. Gabriel?”

“I think he has a girlfriend,” you admit, giving yourself just a moment of normality. “Or boyfriend. I think he’s dating, regardless.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Uh huh, he’s got the signs.” It pulls at your heart; your son won’t want to leave Jackson. He’s building a life here. A decent one.

You were starting to do the same.

“I am not looking forward to that with Ellie,” Joel admits.

You raise an eyebrow. “Really? You’re worried?”

“Who doesn’t worry?”

“Touché.”

“So, what’d I owe the pleasure of this visit to?” he asks, honey sweet as he slips his hands around your waste, leans close to you, his lips on the edge of your collarbone. “not that it isn’t a highlight of my day.”

“Just wanted to say hello.” You feel the heat of his breath as he chuckles, kissing you briefly.

He smells like soap and the outdoors. There’s a lingering hint of mint, of firewood too.

“That works for me.”

He guides you against the wall and as he works his way up your neck, to your jaw, mumbling sweet nothings against your skin, you wish it could be different.

You want to stay here in this moment, or at least you want to stay here with Joel right now.

They could already be on their way.

“Joel -”I love you.

The words hang in the air, unspoken but clear. He must know, surely?

“Yeah?” he asks, looking at you carefully.

“I don’t think this is working anymore.”

You know you shouldn’t look at him, but you owe him this at least.

His face crumples; confusion, shock, uncertainty. You watch how he works through every moment before shaping his expression into something blank, a look you haven’t seen him wear before.

“Why?” he asks gruffly.

“I just think we need to pause things.”

“Is it because of what happened with Ellie?”

“No, no, not at all,” you say in a panic, remembering the stern conversation you’d had after Ellie’s suspicious accident.

Joel is in the kitchen with his arms folded, flannel rolled up to his elbows and his scarred, tanned skin exposed. “Total honesty […] that goes both ways, sweetheart.”

Joel was right and he deserves honesty, he deserves someone who can tell him their truths, but you can’t. Not yet.

Not when Gabriel doesn’t know, not when you fear the inevitable judgment on Joel’s face. You helped him edit his sermons, you married him, you didn’t see it until it was too late. Ignorance doesn’t excuse complicity to you though.

You need to protect Ellie too, protect Joel, protect Jackson as well as your family. The Junction would be so dangerous to them - they’re an invasive species, they see something habitable and they would take it over, spread the rot from inside. They might already be doing that.

You can’t be with Joel right now. You just can’t.

A thousand words sit at your lips; you will yourself to give him some sort of explanation, some sort of better parting. When you’re dead, he’ll remember this. maybe it’s better this way. You ruin yourself to him now so he doesn’t have to mourn you, so you’re not another loss or excuse to shut his heart away. You are committing a kindness to him and incomparable damage to yourself because you do love him. You do, you love him in a way that terrifies and soothes you all at once. You feel like it’s been years and decades but maybe Joel is the right person for you at last.

You will not damn him to mourn another lost love though.

This is a kindness.

“I’m sorry,” you say flatly and you step off the porch and away from him, unable to look back in case he disappears.

It’s for him, it’s for him, you’re doing this for him, for Ellie, for Gabriel, for Sean and Beau. This pain is your penance.

Tag List

YHIM: @orcasoul@pedropascalsbbg @yoursoulsunbreakable@iamskyereads@genetics4life@everyth1ngfan@frickatives@perennialdoll247@joelsgreys@pedrobaby@missladym1981@noisynightmarepoetry@picketniffler @titlee78

Everything Pedro tag-list: @harriedandharassed@pedrostories@hiroikegawa @pedrosaidsheispunk @pastelnap

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x female reader #joel miller #the last of us fanfiction #pedro pascal character #joel miller fanfiction #the last of us #your hand in mine fic #fic: your hand in mine

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sugawhaaa · 1 month

Text

JUNHAN ONE-SHOT

☆"Promise me you'll be quiet,"☆

Pairing::dom!junhan x sub!fem!reader

Warnings::SMUT, VULGAR LANGUAGE

genre:: rushed, fingering, squirting, no protection, public sex (???)

A/N:: this is low key terrible and it's been rotting in my drafts for so long so I may aswell post it.

Junhan and the members were backstage talking with the staff about the outfits for tomorrow and all of the setup and set lists. You stood next to Junhan and you held his hand discreetly. Tomorrow was the start of their Break the Brake world tour and you were there to hype them up while they rehearsed but currently, your hormones had other plans.

As you held Junhan's hand you subconsciously rubbed your thighs together for some friction but all it did was catch Junhan's attention. He is very attentive and he instantly knew what this meant. He bent over to your ear.

"Do you want to go to the dressing room?" He asked calmly and you grinned. You nodded shyly. Junhan notified the others saying that you weren't feeling good so you needed some water and needed to sit down. Once you got into the dressing room Junhan locked the door and threw off his jacket. He crossed his arms with a playful smirk. "Let me guess..." he said softly as you squirmed in front of him.

You sigh. "I was watching you practice and I couldn't take my eyes off you and ugh why is my boyfriend so hot," you whined and Junhan chuckled, unlocking his arms.

"And why do I have such a needy girlfriend," he laughed before playing with your hair. He pulled you into a soft kiss before parting from your lips to speak. "We have to be fast okay?" He said as he started taking off your shirt. "And promise me you'll try to stay quiet?" He smirked knowing that you were terrible at keeping quiet. You nodded and took off your pants. "Do you want to stand or sit?" He asked softly.

"I'll start by standing," you blushed and leaned against the walls. You grabbed the hooks above your head for support. He pulled down your panties and quickly licked his middle finger before easing it inside you. You wanted to scream at the feeling of his ring guard stretching your tight walls but you held back. Little whimpers escaped from the back of your throat as you covered your mouth. Your heart raced as his whole finger slid inside you.

You swallowed harshly as his finger circled inside you. You felt your legs quiver as his finger ran over your G-spot. You grabbed his shirt harshly and clenched the fabric. You threw your head back as his cold ring guard roamed around inside you. He then curled his finger and you moaned loudly. You threw your body onto him and buried your face in his shoulder.

"Shh baby~" he whispered in your ear as his finger went deeper inside you due to the new position.

"I-I'm sorry," you said as you gritted your teeth. He curled his finger along your G-spot and you almost screamed from the pleasure. You held back and clawed at Junhan's shoulder while covering your mouth with the other hand. "Do that again," you stammered "P-please," you whimpered and Junhan smirked. He curled his finger again before uncurling in the same spot.

You clenched around his finger and felt an orgasm building already. He was one finger down and you already felt like collapsing in pleasure. His thumb went to your clit and started rubbing circles lightly. That plus the sensation of his finger curling on your G-spot continuously was enough to make you cum all into Junhans hand. He seemed surprised by this. He removed his finger from you to see cum dripping all down his hand and between your thighs. Your legs were still shaking slightly.

"We're only one finger down and you already came so much," he chuckled before picking you up and setting you down on one of the leather couches. After you got comfortable he inserted two fingers into you. You arched your back and grabbed onto the couch's arms. He slowly pulled his fingers back out before pushing them back in quickly. He continued to do this before building a nice pace. You bit your wrist to suppress your moans when you heard the drums and a guitar from the stage.

"Junhan. They started practicing-ah!" You started talking before he hit your G-spot harshly. "C-Can I moan now?" You blushed as he continued to thrust his fingers into you. He chuckled at how desperate you were to moan.

"Sure," he smirked and you instantly let loose. You moaned loudly as you felt a knot tightening in your stomach. Junhan used his spare hand to run circles along your clit again. He watched you as he bit his lip, admiring how you co-operate for him. You arched your back up into his hand before finally releasing. Moaning loudly. He took his fingers out to find your cum dripping down from your legs onto the black leather couch.

He worried a bit about how he was gonna cover that up but that was a future Junhan problem. Right now his main concern was being able to fuck you senseless. He wasn't usually this eager to be so intimate with you but something was different in him. Junhan rubbed his finger up and down your folds before kneeling down.

"Junhan?" You bit your nail as you looked down at him. The sight turned something on inside Junhan. He sucked your clit as he gave you a look that said "Yes baby?" You blushed as your legs tried to jerk shut. "I want you inside me..." you blushed. He looked at you surprised. Throughout your relationship, you had never had actual sex in a somewhat public. It was just mouths, and hands but you wanted to take the next step. If he was ready of course.

His lips left your body and his hands held your thighs as he thought about your proposal. "If you want to," he smiled at you and your heart beat out of your chest. You nodded and Junhan stood up. You positioned yourselves on the couch accordingly and Junhan seemed so nervous as he loomed over you. "Tell me if it hurts," he said as he lined up his tip to your entrance. "You ready?" He asked you worriedly.

"Yes," you nodded and he slowly entered you. His cock was so big it stretched your walls quickly. You moaned loudly and grabbed onto Junhan's long black hair as you gritted your teeth.

"You okay?" He said as he stopped moving into you. You nodded with a whimper.

"Keep going," you blushed as you moved your hands to his shoulders, clawing at his skin. He threw his head back and seethed through his teeth.

"Damn the members are gonna scold me for this," he chuckled before leaning down to kiss your neck softly. You grabbed his shoulders again and your nails dug into his back. He let out a soft groan at the feeling. "I need to go practice," he said hoarsely with desperate eyes.

"Just a little longer please," you whined as you grabbed his shirt harshly. Junhan let out a scoff that basically told you he wasn't even thinking about leaving you yet. You felt a knot building in your stomach as he continued to bury himself into your G-Spot. You arched your back off the couch, rutting your hips into his. "Fuck! Yes," you moaned loudly as Junhan breathed heavily. "I'm close," you whimpered as you felt yourself clench around him.

"Me too," he whimpered before pounding into you and finally the band in your stomach snapped. Your juices sprayed onto Junhan as your body contorted. He quickly pulled out and followed suit, his semen shooting onto your stomach. Junhan covered his mouth in shock at the mess they had created. "I'm sorry," he apologized and looked around for a cloth or something to clean you off with. You grabbed his head and kissed him passionately. You pulled back and smiled at him.

"You need to go practice. Go put your clothes on and I'll worry about this mess," you patted his head and he nodded.

"As long as you're sure. I can help you clean up it's no big deal-" you finger over his lips and shook your head.

"I got this, you always clean up at home. I can handle this," you smiled and Junhan kissed your forehead quickly before collecting up his clothes. He swiftly put everything on and rushed out the door. You looked at the couch and sighed. How were you supposed to "handle this"

Junhan went out on the stage and put his guitar on over his head and the members looked confused.

"Are you okay?" Jungsu asked, turning to junhan.

"Mhm, why?" Junhan smiled and tilted his head.

"Your face is red and you're kinda...sweating," Gaon said looking back at Junhan. Junhan put his hand to his forehead.

"I was running onto the stage because I was late that's probably it," he shrugged and looked down at his guitar.

"Your shirt is wet too," Jungsu pointed out and Junhans face grew red as he looked down at his shirt.

"I spilt some water," he chuckled awkwardly and the members raised a brow.

"Why do I not believe you," gaon smirked before turning around to play his guitar.

#xdinary heroes #xdh imagines #xdh smut #xdinari hero fanfic #xdinary heroes fluff #xdh #xdh fluff #xdh x reader #xdinary heroes reactions #xdinary heroes x reader #xdinary heroes junhan #xh junhan #junhan

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yandere-daydreams · 2 years

Text

Title: Cornered on Both Sides.

Commissioned by the very lovely @letstalktea.

Pairing: Yandere!Tweels x Reader (TWST).

Word Count: 3.0k.

TW: A/B/O Dynamics, Aged-Up Characters, Marking/Biting, Possessive Behavior, Non-Consensual Touching, and Isolation.

The worst thing about being with the Leech twins was absolutely, without a doubt in your mind, that someone had been cruel enough to make two of them.

That was it, really, even if you were willing to admit that it was a little redundant to be disappointed that twins happened to come in pairs. You didn’t like being around either one of them, but you could handle Floyd and Jade in small doses, nights spent in the backrooms of dark restaurants with Jade and Floyd’s hour-long temper tantrums and fuck, even the tense, slow minutes it took for them to trade-off, for Floyd to whine and grumble as he drops you off at one of Jade’s favorite, underground lounges or for Jade to smile and nip the corner of your jaw before he shoves you into Floyd’s open arms. You could handle that. You didn't like it - there wasn't a single part of your current ‘relationship’ that you can honestly say you enjoyed – but you could handle it. You could deal with it. You knew how to deal with them, individually.

But, when they were together? When Jade had to keep up his oh-so-cold, oh-so-cruel reputation? When Floyd had someone to bounce his sadism of off who wasn't the soft, vulnerable thing he’d chosen to inflict it onto? When you disn't have one selfish, possessive alpha to keep happy and docile, but two?

You… weren’t as good at that, even if you knew you really, really ought to be, by now.

Already, you were starting to curse yourself out, to dig your nails into your palms and grit your teeth as you wondered what you’d ever done to deserve the situation you were currently in. You hadn’t expected them to be home so early, to come back to the penthouse they seemed less-than-content to share. You weren’t sure who it really belonged to, or why they bothered living together at all (save for the fact that it meant they’d have easier access to you, of course, but you didn’t want to think of the relationship you had with them as something real enough have such an influence on their lives), but it was where they’d brought you the night you’d met them, where Jade had so politely asked you to sit pretty and stay when neither one of them had time to wear you on their arms. You weren’t sure what happened to your old apartment, if they’d ever actually done something with it. It might still be there, untouched and rotting, months of rent left unpaid and your former landlord ‘convinced’ not to care. You didn’t want to know, if was.

You were drawn out of your thoughts by a long, airy groan, a body so much bigger than yours collapsing beside you, stringing long arms over the back of the leather couch and letting his legs fall open – utterly unbothered, utterly thoughtless. “Cuttlefish’s being so quiet,” He droned, and you knew it was Floyd before you looked up. Jade would never come to you like this, not when he knew he could bide his time and force you to go to him. “Is it ‘cause you know you did something bad?”

“I’m not—” You cut yourself off, biting down on the side of your tongue. No one ever said you couldn’t leave on your own, and you hadn’t made it very far – just to the building’s lobby. Floyd had caught you at the main door, clicking his tongue and throwing you over his shoulder despite your hushed, whispered pleas not to make a scene. Jade had only reappeared once you’d made it back to the penthouse, his smile tight and his eyes void of all light. He hadn’t said anything to you, opting not to waste any time before dragging Floyd into another room for a private conversation, but you knew he was mad. He had to be. It’d be a miracle if he wasn’t planning to skin you alive, if not worse.

“I haven’t done anything wrong,” You mumbled, too defensive, too guilty. “I didn’t get to do anything.”

He threw his head back, letting out a deep, melodic laugh. You grimaced, shrunk into yourself, but he was quick to correct you, to snake an arm around your waist and drag you into his side. You tried to turn away, to twist yourself out of his hold, but he only caught your chin, tilting your head back and driving his thumb into your jaw until you knew better than to look at anything that wasn't him. Even then, he took a second to let you go; a long, languid grin stretching at the corners of his lips as his hand drifted from your jaw to the nape of your neck, pulling you closer until your cheek was pressed against his chest and he could tower over you properly. “Cuttlefish’s mad tonight, too,” He drawled, amusement heavy in his voice. “Jade’s gonna be angry, but I don’t really mind that you tried to run away. It’d be sorta fun to chase you around for a while – y’know, like most alphas get to with their pretty little omegas.”

“That’s an awful joke,” You muttered, planting your hands on his shoulders in a weak, admittedly half-hearted effort to push him away. This close, you couldn’t do anything to block out his pheromones – waves of woody cedar and sea salt rolling off of him in waves. His scent was identical to his brother’s, but there were undertones to it that Jade lacked, notes of freshly dyed leather and sharp, metallic copper. It had a way of getting under your skin, glazing over your thoughts and making everything that much harder than it would’ve been, if they were kind enough to give you room to breathe. It would’ve been worse if you were actually mated, if they’d had a chance to mark as theirs so officially, but luckily, they were too petty and too possessive to decide which one of them would get to drive their fangs into your neck, and you'd been able to avoid provoking either one of them, so far. It was one of the only benefits of having the attention of two unwanted alphas, rather than one. Sometimes, they were too busy starting fights with each other to actually pay attention to you. “I… I really don’t want to do this, right now. Can you just—”

A hand at your side, a sharp tug to your midriff. He didn’t let you finish, didn’t give you a chance to protest before dragging you into his lap. He buried his face in the crook of your neck, taking long seconds to inhale your scent, to ghost the pointed tips of his teeth over your throat and soak in the way your breath hitched, how quickly you went rigid in his arms. It was more fear than excitement, but Floyd couldn't seem to tell the difference, only laughing as his chin came to rest on the dip of your shoulder. “I wanna try it. Maybe when Jade’s distracted, or next time we’re alone together. We’ll sneak off for a while, find somewhere nice and dark where I can—”

“That’s enough, Floyd.”

Immediately, your heart went still in your chest, and every ounce of warmth drained out of you in an instant. The terror was sudden, fresh, as vivid as it was sickening, but any shock you might’ve felt was distant, too familiar to really catch you off-guard.

You knew you’d have to deal with Jade, eventually.

Honestly, you could only be thankful you’d managed to put it off for this long.

He must’ve been at work - whatever ‘work’ was. You didn’t know what he did, but you recognized the ash-grey suit he was wearing, the way he’d slicked his hair back, the expression he wore when he was getting ready to deal with one of the unruly, uncooperative clients he’d tell you about in little, murmured nothings when you were curled up in his bed, vulnerable and exposed. His lips were pursed, his eyes vaguely narrowed, more annoyed than anything else. Still, that was enough. He wasn’t like Floyd. You weren’t supposed to know when he felt irritated, or pleased, or nothing at all. The fact that you could tell something, anything about his mood was damning, all on its own.

He didn’t say anything, just settling into place next to his brother, crossing his legs and casting you a vague, blank look. You melted into Floyd, absent-mindedly clutching at his shirt, but that wasn’t enough to save you – with a flick of Jade’s wrist, Floyd was groaning, shoving you off of his lap and into the cramped, non-existent space between them. You did what you could to go stiff, to make yourself as small and as unassuming as possible, but your leg pressed against Jade’s and Floyd’s arm was still wrapped around your waist, his finger drumming idly against your hip. You tried to shift, to get as far from them as you were able to, but Jade’s hand came to rest on your thigh and you froze, bowing your head and shutting your eyes. You could take risks with Floyd. You knew him, trusted that he’d do whatever he wanted to regardless of how you spoke or behaved. Jade wouldn’t be so satisfied with your indifference.

“Darling,” He started, his tone as flat and as cold as his stare. “Floyd tells me that you’ve had quite the day.”

You really meant to say something that’d help you. Something smart, or apologetic, or pathetic enough to prove you couldn’t get away from them, even if you genuinely tried. But, as soon as you opened your mouth, you faltered, cracked, and what spilled out was beyond your control. “Y-you never said I couldn’t leave,” You managed, and then, before you could think better of it, “I just wanted to go outside, and nobody was home, and I was going to come back, I just—”

“And, you tried to leave. Without telling either of us beforehand, at that.” Blunt nails dug into your thigh, a tight smile spreading across his lips. “That should be enough on its own.”

You started to say something, then stopped, biting down on the inside of your cheek. “I’m sorry.”

He sighed – the breathy, labored kind of sigh, like it took all the strength in the world to watch you curl into yourself beside him. Floyd, for his part, didn’t go to such lengths to hide his delight, humming softly as he leaned into you, nuzzling into your neck. “I don’t think cuttlefish meant to get into trouble.” It was benign, on the surface, but you doubted Floyd was consciously coming to your defense. For whatever reason, the grin pressing into your throat did little to inspire any hope that he’d chosen to actually help you, for once. “All that shakin’ and screamin’… You should’ve seen it, Jade. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone so scared.”

“It’s not that they're in trouble,” Jade corrected, mercifully choosing to ignore the rest of Floyd’s description. His eyes flickered to his brother before falling back to you, a hand coming up to cup your cheek. He didn’t have to draw blood or drag you into place – it was enough to still feel his eyes boring into you, to see the way his smile quirked as you allowed him to tilt your head back, to force you to meet his steady gaze. Floyd, never one to share his brother’s patience, tightened his hold around you, jerking you backward and into his chest, until your legs had been pulled onto the couch’s seats and you were facing Jade entirely. He hesitated, but nodded approvingly, seemingly satisfied to have your full attention. “You know what you are, don’t you?”

You swallowed, dryly. He’d asked you the same question a thousand times, and he always expected the same answer. “An omega.”

“And you know how dangerous it is for someone like you to be out there, all alone, totally unprotected, right?”

“I wasn’t going to talk to anyone.” It was only dangerous because of alphas like them, but saying as much out loud would only earn you a harsher punishment, a few weeks stripped of all the meager freedoms you’d been allowed to hold onto. “I didn’t even really make it outside. I was just—”

“And you know what we’d have to do if we found out someone tried to hurt you?”

Something very sharp and very slow began to crawl up your throat. “I know, Jade.”

“Perfect. Then, you have to know how much we’re willing to do to keep you safe, too.” He squeezed your chin playfully, his smile taking on a teasing lull. “You’re our precious omega, and there are so, so many alphas out there who’d absolutely love to take a bite out of you. I can’t imagine what Floyd and I would do if you got hurt because we weren’t there to protect you.”

His voice was softened, calmed into something too soothing and too measured not to send a cold bolt of dread down the length of your spine. None of it was true, obviously. If either of them really wanted to ‘protect’ you, Floyd wouldn’t leave your lips bruised when he kissed you, Jade wouldn’t speak so fondly of wrapping a collar around your neck and locking you in some tiny, dark cage that only he had the key to. It wasn’t true, but that didn’t matter, not when Jade was staring you down and Floyd was starting to lose interest in your conversation - finding more entertainment in the lingering, open-mouthed kisses he was pressing into the side of your neck. Unnervingly close to where your mating mark would’ve been, if you had one.

“I… I understand.” Jade’s stare grew easier, his smile taking on a more genuine air, and you let yourself relax. This might be all he wanted. You, humiliated and reminded of your place beneath him, but otherwise unharmed. It wasn’t what you wanted, but it was preferable compared to what you knew Jade could do to you, if he felt you deserved it. “Thanks for looking out for me. I won’t be so reckless again.”

You felt Floyd’s grin sharpen. He pulled back, just far enough to nip at the corner of your jaw, and Jade leaned towards you, cupping your face, holding you in place as his lips brushed against your forehead. “Oh, dear,” He muttered, half under his breath. “You won’t, because we aren’t going to let you.”

You laughed, the noise tentative and stilted. Floyd chuckled, but Jade’s smile only widened. “But, I’m already not allowed to—”

“Clearly, we’ve been too lenient.” He barely even acknowledged you, drawing back and pushing himself to his feet. You tried to follow him, to get up and ask him what you meant, but Floyd was already on top of you, already shoving you onto your chest with all the effort it would've taken him to pluck a petal off of a flower or crush an insect under his heel. In a fraction of a second, he was straddling your thighs, his teeth tearing into the dip of your shoulder as his hands slipped under the hem of your shirt. You cried out, but the sound was muffled by leather and fabric, and neither twin seemed to mind, to bat an eye at any indication of your pain. You weren’t sure why you thought they would.

It wasn't like they’d never hesitated to hurt you, before.

It was a small mercy that Floyd’s attention was such a fickle thing, that he was so quick to draw back, to lap over the open wound as blood began to pool above your torn skin. “I’m afraid it’d just be too dangerous to let you continue on unclaimed,” He went on, faux-sympathy, heavy in his voice. “For the sake of your comfort, we’ve been trying to hold ourselves back, but I’m afraid you’ve made that impossible.”

Lies, Lies, lies. “B-but, I didn’t do any—”

“Cuttlefish tastes so sweet,” Floyd purred, barely lifting his head high enough to speak. He was grinding against you, now, totally unbothered, totally unconcerned. Somehow, that hurt more than Jade’s betrayal, than the awareness of what they planned to do to you. Floyd wasn’t supposed to be this invasive, this controlling. Floyd was supposed to care about you – or, that’s what you’d managed to convince yourself, at least. “Gonna be even sweeter as a real omega, too," And then, as if it'd just occurred to him, "With a proper heat and everything.”

You grit your teeth, forced yourself to jerk towards Jade. “So what?” You spat, no longer trying to clip your words or watch your tone. It wasn’t like they could do anything worse to you. “You’re just— You’re just going to stand there and to let him mark me?"

“Today, he will. And in a few months, when it begins to fade, I’ll have my time with you. Floyd was a little put-off at first, but he came around to the idea after I offered him the first turn.” He squared his shoulders, lowering himself onto one knee in front of you. His hand found its way back to your face, the pad of his thumb running along your lower lip, and something came over his expression – a look that wasn’t totally unlike the kind of quiet, tempered affection you knew he couldn’t be capable of. “You should count yourself lucky. My brother and I aren’t especially good at sharing, but we’re willing to make an exception for you. That’s sweet of us, isn’t it?”

You opened your mouth, ready to curse him out, to scream, but anything you might’ve said was drowned out by a cracked whimper as Floyd bit into your shoulder, again, then the nape of your neck, missing your mating-glands by a hair's width. He was playing with you, marking you – albeit, not the way he would, in a few minutes. You went stiff, unresponsive, but it didn’t help. Nothing would’ve helped, at that point.

“We’re doing this for your own good,” Jade mumbled, despite the excitement tracing at the edges of his tone, despite the awful, darkened glint now shining brightly and unabashedly in his eyes. “It’ll hurt, but just try to remember that. We’re only doing this because we love you.”

You could only close your eyes, grit your teeth, and wonder what you’d ever done to deserve to be trapped between them.

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itbmojojoejo · 8 months

Text

Indelicate Tenderness | Sihtric x Reader

Pairing: Sihtric x Ealdorman's Wife!Reader

Summary: Your marriage to a much older Ealdorman was a political move and the inability to produce an heir in the traditional manner leads to your husband suggesting you look to another man for assistance. The rules? He must be the right sort, keep emotions out of it, and no one can learn of the affair so that he can claim the child as his own.

Wordcount: 5.7k | Other works.

Warnings: MDNI18+ Content. No use of y/n. Talks of having a child, Infidelity, Unprotected PinV(I will not write about medieval contraception methods.) If I have missed anything please let me know!

Authors Note: A certain book/film has given me brain rot and I've decided to make it everyone's problem by spinning it into this mess. Enjoy. HUGE THANK YOU TO @arcielee FOR BETA READING THIS AND OFFERING HER WISDOM AND FIXING MY AWFUL PUNCTUATION XO

Straightening the muscles in his back, Sihtric effortlessly instructed his horse to ease from a trot to a slow walk as he, Finan, and the band of men they had been ordered to bring to a struggling estate owned by the ageing Lord Eadwold approached the large oak gates on the edge of the walled property.

Dismounting in the courtyard, he took in the mixture of stone and wooden buildings while guiding his steed to the stables as directed by a household guard and the group were met by Eadwold. The Lord’s hair was starting to grey and thin in places, with almost translucent papery thin skin that was beginning to sag under his light eyes. Sihtric imagined he was the type of man who had not shied away from battle in his younger years, but now a strong gust of wind could be all it took to knock him off his feet.

“How were the roads, gentlemen?” The old man greeted them croakily.

“Very quiet, lord.” Finan offered with a polite smile.

“Ah, I doubt a ruckus would bother you fellows too much.”

Sihtric willed his face to remain as neutral as he could listening to the old man ramble on about the raids ravishing the borders of his lands and how the men of his guard and fyrds could do with some decent training, but as he removed his packs from the horse he felt eyes on him.

What was supposed to be a quick glance, expecting only to find a curious servant sneaking a peek at the strangers in their home, he found you. Lingering on the edge of the stables with curious eyes, the sun glowing in your hair and glinting off the ornate pendants hanging from different chains around your neck and rings adorning your delicate fingers.

“Ah! There you are, my dear. Look at what the Lord Uhtred has sent our way, as promised by the king!” Eadwold’s smile met his crinkling eyes.

With the sentiment of dear spoken Sihtric thought you may have been a daughter, or another relative due to the blatant difference in age. You were one of the prettiest women he had seen in these lands, he thought it a crime that you would be kept inside the walls of a distant estate far away from anyone to admire your beauty.

“This is my lady wife,” Eadwold gestured for you to come closer with his proud-like introduction and Finan shot a quick side glance to Sihtric, they had heard that the Lord’s wife was younger but they were still surprised, “Off on another one of your walks?”

All the mens eyes darted to the muddied leather boots just visible at the elegantly embroidered hem of your dress, belted at the waist with a sheathed dagger, its hilt intricately decorated. A fine little weapon for a fine woman, Sihtric mused.

“Yes, I think I need the air.” You laughed lightly, but Sihtric caught the way your smile fell from your lips all too quickly to be genuine.

“Perhaps you could show the men down to the lodgings in the woods?” Just as you opened your mouth to respond to your husband, he cut you off, turning back to look at Finan, “Wonderful stonework left behind by those clever Romans, I think it will suit your needs.”

Your hand reached out and gently touched Eadwold’s arm covered by rich blue robes to divert his attention back to you. “My Lord, perhaps the men would like to be fed? Given some ale too, possibly? I imagine they have had a long journey.”

“That would be delightful, lady.” Finan enthused, the promise of ale was always enough to make him forget a sore arse from travelling.

“I shall have Osgar show you the way after you are rested, then.” Eadwold nodded to the two men then looked expectantly at his young wife,

“Lord, gentlemen.” You half bowed and took your leave.

Where is your escort? Does he really let something as lovely as you wander freely? Sihtric’s inner thoughts spun as he watched your graceful steps carrying you off, but then you glanced back and he was unable to look away.

The reason for your walk that afternoon wasn’t just for physical air, but an attempt at clearing the tangled thoughts in your head. You had been cooped up inside that hall for such a long time now it felt as though you were being slowly suffocated with a strange sense of loneliness, surrounded by people yet feeling the most alone you ever had.

It’s not that your husband was cruel, although it certainly felt that way sometimes with his dismissive comments and not allowing you to take leave so you may visit with your family. He had his rule of you always having to stay close and watch over him playing Lord of his lands, but in reality you were merely a decorative possession.

A pretty young woman gifted to him by another ealdorman to bolster the wealth his lands needed as well as a son so that he might have an heir, but therein laid the issue, as your husband was an older man who had some difficulties when it came to marital duties.

Your husband had his fears and worries, he knew that it would not be a traditional marriage with his ailment, as he referred to it, but for all appearances people must believe it to be so. With the pair of you coming to terms with what your marriage was, a sort of trust was built where you could share your thoughts openly with one another, an attempt at companionship and a life lived together.

A discussion that Eadwold had begun over a game of Tafl had taken you aback,

“Perhaps there is another way you can give me a son.” He rasped, twisting one of the Muscovites between his fingers.

“Another way?”

“Yes, I am certain a man would not say no if you were to...” Eadwold said, gesturing his hand towards your body with a sway to his shoulders.

“Offer myself up like a piece of meat?” You laughed at his audacious suggestion.

“Aren’t we all just sacks of meat?” He questioned, probably imagining himself to be wise, “We wouldn’t be the first to raise a bastard.”

Even with freedoms most Lady’s were not given and permission to have an affair for the sake of a son you had an air of sadness around you, one that would linger in your wake for others to see but your husband remained blind to it. By ignorance or choice you did not know, and as the days turned into weeks you came to the conclusion that motherhood would at least give you a sense of purpose, something to pour your unspent love into.

You still had a sense of unease at the entire suggestion, the shame that would befall you if it were ever discovered how you came to be with a child. There must have been rumours about you or your husband whispered in corners due to the lack of a shared bedroom and a child, you had been married for long enough that you should have at least had one by now.

And so as you walked out the large doors of the opulently decorated house you were beginning to despise, into the afternoon sun for a moment's escape, the sound of your husband's raspy droning accompanied by the voice of an Irishman caught your attention near the stables.

Who your eyes landed on did not belong to the bearded man of Irland, but the quiet man looking as bored as you felt during most conversations with Eadwold, who was removing packs from his horse. He had dark curls shorn to the scalp on one side, with bronze arm bands glimmering against the dark blue short sleeved tunic covering his biceps, and to your surprise a pagan pendant hanging from his neck.

He had not spoken a single word as you suggested the men be allowed to rest before being escorted to their lodgings, which only fuelled your curiosity of who you were to play host to until the lands were able to defend their own borders without the assistance of the other Ealdormen.

After taking your leave to continue with the walk and risking a peek over your shoulder, you found the unknown pagan still watching, the sun glistening in his hazel eyes, causing you to quickly avert your gaze with a warmth blooming in your cheeks. It felt girlish to have a reaction like that to a stranger, and a heathen at that, but you couldn’t deny that he was handsome.

Later that evening at supper you asked your husband why he had put the men all the way out in the woods and not allowed them to remain within the walls, there was plenty of space available for them to use in the barracks after all. He admitted he was not trusting of them,

“Some of them are Danes themselves, I find it hard to believe that they actually fight against their own… but who am I to speak on the simple mind of a heathen, they go where the silver takes them I imagine,” Eadwold mused, swilling his ale tankard.

“They are here to keep your land safe, you could show a little gratitude.”

“Those are fine lodgings they’ve been given, as well as food and ale! I would say that’s enough gratitude shown,” he croaked, and you simply picked at the meat on your plate with a sigh.

Over the next few days you found yourself watching over the training yard from the high walls surrounding the perimeter of the estate. The name of the Dane your eyes always landed on was still unknown to you, and no matter how hard you tried to take in the other people down below practising their sword work, it was him who always held your attention as he guided footwork and techniques.

Every so often his gaze would flicker up and meet your own, and at first you thought yourself to be imagining the slight quirk of his mouth, yet the next time his eyes wandered up he wet his plump bottom lip as a smile grew causing the warmth to hit your cheeks once more.

In the late afternoon you were found by your husband lacing up the leather boots you kept solely for walking, the luxurious silk slippers you wore for general use discarded to the side.

“Another walk? All this sun will be doing you no good.”

“The sun has passed its highest point, and I shall keep to the shade.” You huffed pulling the laces tight.

“In the wood?”

“Yes.” You clipped.

“Oh, well if you must. Uhtred’s men are going to squash a band of raiders, if you pass that way be sure to offer them a prayer.”

“Of course,” you stood, checking if your dagger was secure. “Did you need something before I go?” Eadwold stepped closer and spoke in a hushed tone to you,

“No, but I do wonder if you had thought on a particular issue?”

“I have, lord, but I do have some concerns.”

“Speak freely, my dear.”

“Are you certain that this is what you would want? I am your wife after all.”

“Well I would not want you to yield yourself to another man completely, and if you were to govern your emotions accordingly this can remain uncomplicated.”

“Uncomplicated.” You scoffed, nothing about any of this was uncomplicated. “And you would not mind which man’s child I bore?”

“He has to be the right sort, but I do trust your judgement with that, I highly doubt you would let just any man touch you. There is a matter of discretion of course, these lands depend on it.”

These lands, but what of my wellbeing? What if I wish to just spend my days here until you pass on so I may turn myself into the Order? Is what you wanted to say, instead you continued attempting to give him the responses he wanted.

“Would... would you expect me to tell you who the man was?”

“Best that I do not know.” And he took your warm hand in his bonier, cold grasp.

“Does an heir really mean this much to you, my lord?”

“It means everything. I know you can do this for us, for our legacy as leaders of lands. You do understand the importance of this, do you not?”

Trying your best to soften the almost pained expression gracing your face and managing a weak smile, your hand slipped from your husbands and youturned on your heel, taking a few deep inhales as you stepped over the threshold out into the warming sun, leaving the outlandish conversation behind you.

As the birds chirped overhead, skipping along full branches in their song, you toiled over the emotions rolling around inside the depths of a caged heart letting your feet blindly carry you further and further through the trees. Walking through the undergrowth with muted steps, you stumbled upon the stone outbuildings; all was quiet, except the wildlife and nearby stream lightly bubbling over its rocky bed.

Walking a little further past the group of small houses used by different attendants of the estate, you came to one that stood alone on the edge of willow trees, and beneath your feet myriads of bright wildflowers blanketed the ground. Unsheathing the dagger at your side you crouched and delicately began to cut them away so that you may take them home to decorate your room.

The sound of someone clearing their throat caused you to flinch and snap your head towards the noise.

“Sorry my lady, I did not mean to startle you.” The unnamed Pagan held up his hands with a soft smile, instantly putting you at ease.

“It’s quite alright, I should be paying more attention to my surroundings,” You responded, awkwardly carrying on with your cutting.

“Are you... Does your lord husband know you wander this far from the house all alone?”

“He does, actually.” You huffed at the mention of Eadwold, but you regretted the tone you had used, as it was a simple question from a person who does not know you, “I, uh, hear you are off to deal with some raiders?”

“We are, lady, I was just going to the stables to meet the others now.”

“Then I will pray you all return safely.” You stood, eyes flickering over the hammer pendant hanging from his neck and internally cursed, “if that does not offend you, of course.”

His tongue quickly flicked out wetting his lips before pursing them to crush the small smile playing on his mouth.

“You can pray as you wish. I can escort you back?”

There was a distance between the pair of you as you strolled back through the woods, taking in the scent of moss and fauna, occasionally looking over to the man whose eyes always seemed to be averting yours with every glance.

“I have just realised you are helping my house yet I do not know your name?” You asked, fiddling with the flowers you grasped.

“I am Sihtric, lady.” He revealed in a smoky tone that had your brows flit up briefly.

“And the loud Irishman?”

He chuckled at your comment, stepping over a fallen tree you chose to walk around.

“Mm, Finan.”

Two days later, upon the return of the men, Lord Eadwold had agreed to the idea of letting the men feast in the hall with the two of you, as a thank you for all that they were doing. Sat beside him at the top of the table, you phased in and out the conversations around you; there wasn’t anything you could offer to the talks of war and swordsmanship.

It was as Eadwold was enthusiastically retelling the story of him fighting Britons to Finan, occasionally spilling ale from his tankard as he waved his arms around, that your eyes skirted over to Sihtric. He was smiling at Osgar who sat to his side locked into his own discussion, and you focused on the dark inking that decorated the side of his neck disappearing into his hair.

Eyes wandering further, you spotted the line work on each of his fingers that held his own ale tankard, what those hands could do you thought, and quickly sipped at your drink, willing your mind silent. Even so, your eyes drifted back to meet his, he gave a simple nod and smile returning to his conversation.

The following day, you decided to venture back to where you had found the wildflowers, collecting thin twigs of hazel and willow as you went. Making a sizable pile of flowers you settled against the trunk of the willow tree close to the little Roman lodge you had thought remained empty, only to be pulled from the therapeutic process of weaving your flowers by its door opening.

Having been gifted a couple of days rest by the Lord Eadwold, Sihtric decided he would take some time away from his group to sharpen his sword and seax in the confines of the humble one storey house he had claimed for himself. He liked the little crumbling mosaic pictures that adorned the walls and floor tiles, and he thought it a peaceful place.

As he slid the whetstone down the edge of his blades, the sun was temporarily blotted out by someone passing the window and caught his attention; he paused his movements to focus in on any sounds that might indicate who it was, but none came.

Carefully placing his sword on the table and sheathing his seax, he made the short distance to the window, sneaking a look with his head tilting to the side, and there you were again. The long branches of willow with their full leaves cascading from the sky around you, casting just enough shade to keep the sun from warming your soft skin too much.

Three times Sihtric told himself to move away and leave you be, but the first time he made the attempt, your brow had furrowed together in concentration and he felt the urge in his finger tips to smooth the crease away. The second time you had wet your pretty lips and leant closer to your hands, making the chains around your neck swing drawing his attention to the round cut of your dress just exposed your collar bones.

It was his third attempt that gave him pause for a different reason other than to secretly admire you, wondering if he should interrupt the very clear thought process you were having. Holding out the half completed wreath your fingers nimbly worked on, you held different flowers near it, trying to choose a pattern you didn’t seem entirely happy with.

Taking a deep breath and exhaling with a low grumble, Sihtric approached the door, making sure to open it with enough force to create sound so as not to startle you by silently appearing at your feet. Rounding the corner he met your gaze, your eyes sparkling and lips parted greeting him with a silvery tone,

“Sihtric.”

“Lady, I hope I’m not disturbing you?” He stepped closer as you shook your head at his question.

“No, I was just, busy hands mean a quiet mind.” You fiddled with the twisted twigs of the wreath in your hands.

“It looks pretty.”

“Hmm, I only wished I had some different flowers.”

This is why you came out here, tell her. He urged himself.

“There is more on the other side of the stream.” Sihtric gestured to bubbling water that could be heard through the willows.

“In the tall grasses?”

“I can show you, if you’d like?”

Keeping an arms distance between the two of you, Sihtric took you a little further through the willow’s to the edge of the stream where the water flowed slowly and after explaining that the brook wasn’t deep, he took a step down from the bank, only to realise he was wrong.

The cool waters soaked through his trousers in an instant to just below his knee, slowly turning with his brows raised and lips pressed together to prepare himself for a refusal and telling off that he would even suggest such a thing he was relieved to see you stifling laughter at his misjudgement.

“Uh, it is shallower near the other houses, lady.” He laughed.

“This is fine, just give me a moment.” You smiled.

Watching how you unlaced your boots to reveal bare feet felt like an oddly intimate thing for Sihtric to witness, and he struggled to avert his gaze as you gathered up your dress, holding the fabric up to your now exposed, luscious thighs.

He swallowed the lump growing in his throat and offered up his hand as you stepped closer to the edge of the bank, your skin felt warm against his and the squeal you let out at the cool water rushing up your legs followed by a hearty laugh that was music to his ears.

The smile on your face he could tell to be genuine compared to the others he had seen you so bravely try to wear around your husband, and as he hoisted you up into the tall grasses on the other side of the stream you placed a hand on his chest to steady yourself, making you pause and look from your hand to his eyes, followed by your quiet voice,

“Thank you, Sihtric.”

Lightly clearing his throat, he stepped aside allowing you to walk into the green grasses littered with an array of purple and yellow flowers, watching your fingers lazily dance atop the greenery under the warm sky.

It was amongst nature that you sat quietly for a while, gathering up violet tulips and he was close by, leaning back propped up on an elbow watching little beetles clamber over the ground on their unknown journeys, occasionally stealing a look at you.

“May I ask you a question, lady?” He risked breaking your peace, his curiosity winning.

“You just did.” You smiled at him from under your lashes. “Ask it.”

“Why do you come all this way? Are you not needed at the house?”

“That was two.” You had criticised, eyes falling back to your lap, carrying on trimming stems with your dagger.

He quietly sighed and plucked a blade of grass thinking that he would not get a response from you, until you spoke up again with a slight frown and not looking at him.

“I am given the freedom to speak my mind, but my voice is not truly heard. I have no say in how that house or these lands are run, my presence is only missed when Eadwold wants advice on a matter he has already decided how to settle.”

A decoration to talk at, Sihtric thought, then his mind drifted to the thought of you having to survive the old man seeing and touching your nakedness. A painful existence, someone as pretty, no, beautiful as you having to let a wretch paw at you.

When you were ready to leave the peaceful meadow, he carried your bundle of flowers and clutched your hand helping you back through the stream; he watched your mood change as you readied to make the journey home, like someone had walked through a house blowing out candles as they went. The light has disappeared from her eyes.

The rare happiness that had swelled in your chest littered with fleeting thoughts of Sihtric had kept you moving through the next few days with ease, only dimming at the dinner table when your replies fell on deaf ears; Eadwold was carrying on his droning as if you had said nothing at all, or changing the topic when you were mid sentence.

Normally you could swallow it, but this evening as you sat at the table with him and his brother, Eadwig, it came to be too much.

“Perhaps you should have some of the younger lads trained with swords and shields now, pull in the servants' children too as a backup should you need it.” Eadwig’s equally raspy voice carried over the table.

“They are just boys, Eadwold,” you commented, not liking the idea one bit.

“They started much younger than they do now, you should have seen it! What were we? Not even 10 years of age when handed a real sword in place of the wooden things they use now,” Eadwig added.

You argued further. “The mothers will have a fright, you cannot.”

“Here comes the dramatics of a woman,” Eadwold griped.

“Caused by the ridiculous ideals of days long past.” You now fumed.

Abruptly leaving the table, you hurried through the corridors with no real sense of direction; it wasn’t until you were slipping out of a forgotten gate at the back of the estate with a cloak fastened around you that you realised you had not bothered to change your silk slippers for boots.

Looping around the perimeter close to the wall so as not to be spotted at this hour, as the deep golden sun hung low above the treetops, your feet carried you to the only peaceful place it could think of, the willow trees.

Walking with your eyes to the ground, you finally looked up at seeing the familiar wildflowers surrounding you, stopping in your tracks and a breath hitching in your throat.

“Lady.” Sihtric greeted with his look of surprise matching yours, chips of wood all around him and an axe in hand.

“What...” You fell silent taking in the sight before you. Three chopped trunks now sat in the stream, creating a dry pathway from one side to the other.

“I didn’t want you trying to cross it alone so I...” Sihtric started but your furrowed brows and parted lips made him stop, “Have I offended you, Lady?”

“No, this is wonderful.” Your voice came much quieter than you had liked.

Gingerly stepping to the edge of the bank, you toed the lump of wood and it didn’t budge; a smile crept onto your face as you stepped onto it, following the others to the opposite side and skimming your hands over the top of the long grass as you walked further into it. You had not noticed Sihtric silently trailing behind until he spoke up,

“The tree had already fallen, I thought it would have better use here than the forest floor.”

This act of care and a kindness shown hit your chest heavily, your mind ran wild with all the different emotions freely flowing in your veins for the first time in what felt like years. Before thinking it through you spun, throwing your arms around Sihtric’s neck, pulling him into a tight embrace.

He remained still with his arms held at his side, only bringing them around your waist when he felt you sob and whisper a small thank you to him.There was a gentle warmth emanating from his body and into your own; your grip dug into his shoulders, not wanting to let him go. It was only in this moment that you realised how desperately you ached for the touch of another person.

“My lady?”

“I’m sorry I just...” You reluctantly pulled back, wiping away tears that had fallen with the back of your fingers, avoiding his concerned gaze.

“I’ll give you a moment...”

“No,” you protested grabbing at his arm, and as you met his hazel eyes brought his hand up to your face. “Stay?” Your voice trembled against his knuckles as you ghosted your lips over his skin. You knew you shouldn’t be asking what you were, or in this manner, but you needed to be touched.

You watched the way a conflicted frown appeared before quickly disappearing; he cupped your cheek with the calloused hand you held and with a sigh you leaned into his touch, pressing a light kiss to the base of his palm. He shifted closer towards you letting his other hand brush along your jaw, his thumb gently skimming over your lips.

Standing head to head, noses barely nudging each other, you guided his hand down your neck to your chest, silently asking for more of his touch and he gave it freely. You pressed into him as he palmed at your breasts with a whine, lips grazing one another but never locking in a kiss.

With a desperate and sinful heat blooming between your legs, you pulled at the laces of Sihtric’s trousers and he didn’t stop you, allowing you to stroke at his hardening cock with your eyes squeezed shut. He nipped at your cheekbone and ear lobe with his hot breath fanning across your skin, gracing you with the sound of a low moan as your hand gripped his shaft. Guiding you to move to the grassy floor of the meadow, you braved meeting his lust blown eyes full of want mirroring your own.

You quickly hiked your dress up to your hips, exposing your wet core to the cooling air of a summer evening as he freed himself and settled between your thighs; you hesitated with your mouth on the side of his and nodded for him to give you what you so badly needed to feel.

You held your breath in anticipation feeling the head of his cock nudging at the entrance of your cunt, a short sharp exhale escaping you with the first shallow thrust, his grunt meeting your high pitched whimper as he then fully sheathed deep in your tight walls.

Gripping tightly at his shoulder and tugging harshly at Sihtric’s hair, he fucked you into the warm ground with a merciless rhythm, feeding the wanton hunger that coursed through your body and filling the air with lewd sounds of skin slapping skin.

The gravity of your actions were forgotten underneath his body, losing yourself completely to a desire being sated and leaving you feeling near drunk with utter bliss washing over you.

Chasing a release you madly wanted, you tilted your pelvis enabling Sihtric’s thrusts to stroke against your sensitive clit just right, and he understood exactly what you needed by changing his movements to a deep rolling that had your eyes fall back and the tell tale tremor to start in your thighs.

The open sky was full of the sweet broken cries tumbling from your lips into Sihtric’s ear as you fell apart beneath him and he spilled his hot seed into your pulsing walls with a pained groan. As he collapsed onto your chest, both panting erratically, you untangled your fingers from his hair and loosened your grip on his shoulders.

The loss of Sihtric’s hand on your hip and him pulling away from between your legs brought you back to reality, his top lip curled up with a flicker of a frown on his face as he laced his trousers and turned away. Your mouth moved in an attempt to say something, anything, but no words could find you and so you stood, readjusting your dress in silence.

“I’ll escort you back.”

Unlike the last time he walked you back towards the estate the silence was not full of a curious tension being in the company of a stranger, but one that felt awkward as you tried to have a coherent thought about what had just taken place. Even though Sihtric’s eyes were on you the whole time as he trailed a little behind you he didn’t say a word.

“It’s best I go on from here alone.” You stated, glancing quickly at Sihtric over your shoulder as the walls came into view through the treeline.

“Goodnight, lady.”

“Goodnight.”

Eadwold had not even noticed you’d ventured out for a walk, he was deep in his ramblings with his brother beside the hearth of the main hall and hadn’t even bothered to speak to you as you headed up the stairs to your room.

As you laid in bed staring up at the rafters your thumb ran over your lips in a poor imitation of how Sihtric had, the ghost of his touch lingering on your skin with a satisfied ache between your thighs. If only I had kissed him, you thought; falling asleep with your mind full of the Pagan you let have your body in the meadow.

Sleep struggled to find Sihtric that night, the sweet scent of you had been burned into his senses along with the feel of your soft skin on his hands. It shouldn’t have happened, I have lowered her, and other such thoughts swam through his mind until he drifted off.

Throughout the next morning he was distracted and let Finan take control of the training as he walked around the border of the yard, hoping to catch sight of you, but you never appeared. Not in any of the windows, nor up on the walls watching over them as you usually would, and you weren’t lingering in any open doorways either.

Sihtric’s mind drifted to you again as he trundled over the moss covered ground with birds flitting through the trees above him, and a hope filled his chest as rounded the corner of the old stones wanting to find you beneath the willow trees but you weren’t there.

Sighing as he approached the door he paused, he had not left it open before leaving this morning so why was it now ajar? Placing his hand on the hilt of his sword he shoved it open, not expecting to see you sat on the edge of his small fur covered bed.

“I’ve been waiting for you.” Your silvery tone greeted, he took his hand away from his sword and his tone was sharper than he wanted it to be with his response,

“Is that wise? Will people not become suspicious if you keep walking off into the woods when they know us men are down here?”

“Are you afraid?” You asked, your eyes searching his.

“Yes, but not for me lady, for you.”

He watched you wet your lips with an incredulous smile on your face and you quickly pushed off the bed walking towards him and cupped his cheeks, crushing your lips to his taking him aback.

You sighed against him as he began to kiss you back slowly, letting his hands roam your waist.

#im just gonna leave this here #the last kingdom fanfic #sihtric x reader #tlk fanfic #sihtric fanfic #sihtric tlk #tlk

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