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kiss-theggoat · 10 months

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Over the Phone

Billy Lenz x Reader

Word Count: 1.6K

Summary: You and your Sorority sisters have been receiving some pretty scary phone calls, but you’re too embarrassed to admit that you don’t hate answering them.

Warnings: Billy is nasty, Lewd language, Smut, Mutual Masturbation, Billy refers to reader’s female anatomy and female anatomy is used but no pronouns

Ah, Christmas. The most wonderful time of the year, especially in this cozy home. You’d never seen so many twinkle lights, strings of garland, or pieces of mistletoe in one area. All of the sisters really went all out this year, and you couldn’t be happier.

With a record in the background playing Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree, you hummed along to the tune while grabbing the hot tray out from the oven. Your sugar cookies had become tradition, and you really liked making them for you and your sisters. The low lighting of the kitchen, illuminated by red and green bulbs along with a few candles on the dining table really set the festive mood, and your heart swelled with Christmas spirit.

You spent nearly an hour frosting snowmen, snowflakes, candy canes, little trees, and a couple reindeer. Hunched over the counter with a bag of frosting in your hand, hair a mess and a smear of blue frosting on your right cheek, you suddenly heard a commotion coming from outside the kitchen. You groaned, as you were nearly done frosting, but wanting to see what was going on in the living room.

The piping bag thudded against the counter as you plopped it down, licking some frosting from your finger.

“What’s going on?” You asked, walking into a circle of sorority girls. They were surrounding Jess, who looked sufficiently upset and had the phone pressed against her ear. Once you saw this you knew. She was on the phone with “The Moaner” as you and the girls so affectionately dubbed him. A creep who’d been prank calling the house for the last couple of weeks, and boy was he vulgar. At first everyone thought it was just a frat house that was messing around, but it’s been going on for months, and the phone calls are getting worse and worse. Bad to the point where you know none of the frat guys are doing it. Or, if they are, you could probably get them in huge trouble.

Jess held up a finger in a shushing motion to quiet Barbara, who was practically yelling at the man on the phone. She liked to antagonize him. You could hear the man’s voice over the phone, and only then you realized how loud he must be talking. Jess scrunched her face in disgust. You knew she hated taking the obscene calls, so you held your hand out to her. She placed the receiver in your hand, and reluctantly, you held the speaker up to your ear. The girls around you waited anxiously for your reaction, and immediately your cheeks went red.

“Piggy cunt, you want my fat cock...I'll stick my tongue up your pretty pussy.”

You were flustered. The feeling that rose to your chest was not entirely unpleasant, and you felt a teensy bit ashamed about the fact you didn’t hate what the man was saying to you. I mean, the term ‘piggy’ was a little strange, but the rest made the butterflies in your stomach bounce off the walls.

You cleared your throat, trying to play it cool. “Who…w-who is this?”

“Suck on my juicy cock! I'll come over…I'll come over and you can…you can suck it. Suck it! Okay?”

The man sounded frantic, yelling loud in your ear. Suddenly, Barb snatched the phone from you.

“Why don’t you call Lambda Chi, they could use some action, creep.” She slammed the phone down hard, holding her drink and cigarette in the other hand. “Just ignore him next time. It’s annoying having to talk to him!”

You stood there, frosting still smeared on your face as you listened to everyone walk away from the phone, arguing with an increasingly drunk Barb. You decided to let it go for now, walking back towards the kitchen.

Half an hour later, your cookies were done and served to your sorority sisters. They lay out on the table in the living room next to three empty cups that once held cold milk. It was later at night now, and only you, Barb, and Jess sat downstairs. Everyone else had gone to bed. The music had been turned down and you flipped through a novel, cuddled up with a quilt and legs swinging over the side of an armchair.

You swore you felt your heart drop when Barb jumped up out of nowhere, still holding a half smoked cigarette away from her face. “Oh…” she groaned, hand on her stomach. “I’m gonna spew…”

She walked quickly towards the bathroom. You and Clare made eye contact, dreading who had to go help her this time.

You held your hands up in defense, pages fluttering. “I cleaned her puke out of Phyl’s sweater last time, you’re it.”

Clare whined as she stood up, throwing her textbook and notebook down back onto the couch. “Fine…” and off she went.

You were happy to be in peace now, reading by the light of the dying fire and the colorful lights hung around the room. The tree in the corner made your heart happy, so you always sat facing it.

Ring Ring.

You muttered a few cuss words at being interrupted again, but during the holiday season, phone calls were important. Usually from family or friends wanting to make plans with someone. Your socks slid on the hardwood as you nearly slipped standing up, book being slammed down on the table.

“Hello?” You said, sounding more unfriendly than you meant to. After all, it was nearly midnight. Who was calling the house at this time?

“Pretty piggy cunt! Billy wants to lick it, wants to touch it.”

You sighed, leaning against the cabinet the phone laid atop. Your brain said to hang up and just leave the phone off the hook, but your body told you to listen to this man, which is apparently named Billy. What’s he saying now? You tried to decipher but instead of words…he was just moaning now. A deep silky voice, usually aggressive and loud was now soft and breathy with soft whines every once in a while. The sound of his moans immediately made you perk up, heat pooling in the base of your stomach.

“Pretty piggy suck on my cock…” he moaned, louder this time in the receiver.

You bit your lip and pulled on the cord in order to check your surroundings. The hallway was clear, and so was the living room. You turned around…so was the kitchen. Barb and Clare must still be in the bathroom, and everyone else was in bed. You decided you were safe to indulge a little. No one would find out, right?

A shaking hand trailed down the center of your chest and down to the button of your jeans. With one hand you popped it open and slid down the rest of the way, nestled inside your underwear. You decided to be a little brave.

“Billy…” you said quietly. “It is Billy, right…?”

A loud moan on the other end of the line confirmed your question. “Wanna fuck pretty piggy cunt.” He growled. Your lips parted as you rubbed circles over yourself, pleasure running through your whole body. This guy had really gotten you hot and bothered.

“I’m going to touch myself, Billy.” You whispered, eyes locked on the hallway that the bathroom was in. All the sound on the other end stopped, and so did you, tensing up. You were suddenly horrified and humiliated, what if this actually was just some stupid frat guy carrying on a joke too long? What if it’s one of the sister's boyfriends and you’d just revealed the fact that you were going to get off on the phone with a stranger?

Your fears were eased when you heard shuffling, and then loud moans once more. Growls and squeals broke up his moans, reminding you he was still nuts, but you didn’t care. There was, however, a new sound. A wet slapping sound on the other end made your stomach erupt with lightning bolts. He was touching himself too. Your fingers moved faster, deftly circling your clit in desperation. You hunched over the cabinet, elbows aching from the pressure.

“Pretty cunt…wet piggy pussy, Billy wants…”

You closed your eyes before remembering to stay on guard, grip so tight on the phone you were sure it’d snap. Without realizing, a few whimpers and pants slid from between your lips despite how hard you tried to clamp them shut. You clenched your thighs and laid your head against the wood, pushing the receiver closer to your ear, hoping somehow you could magically make him even louder, loud enough to fill you completely.

Already, you were close, and from the way he was whining and whimpering on the other end, he was too. You started to cum, dropping the receiver on the cabinet and slapping a hand over your mouth, legs shaking and clenching together as you writhed, struggling to stand up. Billy’s moans filled your ear on the other side, and you both went silent and still at the same time. You laid against the cabinet, taking deep breaths and trying to be as quiet as possible.

Billy hung up the line, more concerned with how beautiful you looked illuminated by the Christmas lights. Or, at least he thought so, from the hole in the ceiling he watched you through.

#slasher x reader #slashers #horror movies #black christmas #billy lenz #billy lenz x reader #billy lenz x y/n #billy lenz x you #slasher x y/n #slasher x you

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jackles010378 · 4 months

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A Prank Gone Wrong...........

(Dean Winchester X you)

Dean decides to play a prank on you based on a fear you have, but it goes horribly wrong.........................

Dean was always one for a good prank. He would prank Sammy when they were younger. He had a mischievous glint in his eye and a knack for knowing exactly what buttons to push to get a reaction. And when it came to his girlfriend, Y/N, he had discovered a secret fear that he just couldn't resist exploiting.

Y/N had faced down all manner of monsters and demons with bravery and skill, but there was one thing that sent shivers down her spine and made her scream like a banshee - spiders. Dean couldn't understand it, how someone so fierce and fearless could be brought to their knees by a tiny arachnid. But he was determined to have his fun, just this once.

It was a quiet evening at the bunker when Dean devised his plan. The two hunters had successfully banished a particularly nasty spirit, and Dean saw the opportunity to finally play his prank. After every monster Y/N had fought off, he always plagued her about being scared of spiders. He figured it was time to give her a taste of her own medicine.

Just before Y/N went to have her much-needed shower, Dean carefully placed a realistic-looking fake spider on the bathroom floor. He couldn't help but grin, imagining her reaction when she discovered it. Little did he know, this prank was about to take a serious turn.

Y/N entered the bathroom, exhausted and longing for the soothing feel of hot water on her tired muscles. As she turned on the faucet, she failed to notice the fake spider lurking just below. With a deep breath, she stepped forward, inadvertently planting her foot directly on top of the prop.

What happened next was something neither of them could have anticipated. The prop spider, designed to merely startle and maybe evoke a scream, had sharp edges that dug into Y/N's foot as she unknowingly stepped on it. The pain was sudden and intense, causing her to stumble and lose her balance.

Y/N let out a cry of pain as she crashed into the bathroom counter, hitting her head hard against the edge. In a daze, she collapsed to the floor, clutching her injured foot and struggling to stay conscious. Dean heard her screams and chuckled to himself, waiting for her to come storming down the hallway to shout at him, but she never came. Dean waited a few seconds more and grew worried. Running down the hall to the bathroom Y/N was using he was shocked at the sight before him.

"Y/N! Are you okay?" Dean frantically asked, kneeling down beside her.

She winced, tears streaming down her face as she struggled to respond. "No, Dean, it really hurts. What the hell was that?!"

Dean's face turned pale as he realized the prank had gone terribly wrong. He cursed himself for not considering the consequences of his actions. "I'm so sorry, Y/N, I didn't think this through. Let me help you."

He gently lifted Y/N into his arms and carried her out of the bathroom, ignoring the fake spider that lay forgotten on the floor. He laid her down on the bed and hurriedly fetched the first aid kit, doing his best to tend to her injuries.

As the pain slowly subsided and the shock began to wear off, Y/N looked up at Dean with a mix of pain and forgiveness. "I... I know you didn't mean for this to happen. But please, no more pranks involving spiders."

Dean nodded solemnly, guilt weighing heavily on him. He knew he had crossed a line, and he vowed to make it up to her. From that day on, Dean became Y/N's fierce protector, ensuring that no harm would ever come to her again, even unintentionally.

As days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months, Y/N's foot healed, but their bond grew stronger. They faced countless monsters together, each time with Dean by her side, ready to slay any spider or otherwise that threatened her peace of mind.

And as for pranks? Well, let's just say that Dean learned his lesson. The only scare he ever gave Y/N after that was the occasional jump scare during a horror movie night, where she could always find solace in his arms.

I could imagine Dean doing something like this 😂 but then taking care of you straight after 🥰

TAGLIST: @k-slla @cevansbaby-dove @kaleldobrev @janineb86 @deans-daydream @alternativeprincess94 @nescavaneck

#jensen ackles #dean winchester #supernatural #jackles #jensen ross ackles #spn cast #deanwinchtser #soldier boy #jensen ackles gifs #beau arlen #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester x y/n #dean winchester x you #dean winchester fan fiction #dean winchester x female!reader

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yanmusing · 5 days

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Yan!Fem! Barista x fem!reader pt. 2

In headcanon form!

Part 1

Tw for nasty thoughts per usual with this one LMAO

♡And so our dear Yanfem! Barista decides to get closer to you! In her own way, of course.

♡As you go up to the counter to pick up your plate, she takes the chance to slip you a piece of paper.

♡She turns around and attends another customer with a genuine smile. You make your way back to your table and curiously open the note. Call me sometime. I'll be waiting 🩷 -Giselle

♡Any person with decently good social skills would see this as a win. But you? You're TERRIFIED of phone calls! Especially if a woman is on the other end of the line! A woman that's interested in you!

♡Maybe... maybe she just wants to be friends? Gal pals? Ahah...

♡You take a moment to turn around from your seat and look from the paper towards Giselle.

♡As luck would have it, she's gauging your reaction as she's brewing some coffee. She smiles at you and gives you a wink.

♡Our beloved Giselle knows how to get into people's heads, and you happen to be exactly her type.

♡You immediately turn red in the face. Aaand this is your sign to turn your ass back around and finish whatever you were working on.

♡Meanwhile, Giselle serves up more customers as the day gets busier and even chats them up and makes them laugh. You really know how to lift someone's spirits, huh?

♡Eventually, her shifts ends and she's grabbing her coat to leave.

♡"Wait-"

♡What's this?

♡"I, uhm, wanted to ask you something."

♡You fidget awkwardly.

♡Oh my goodness. Is this what Giselle thinks it is?

♡"Could we maybe talk about this?" You nervously unfold the paper with her number on it.

♡Your breathing gets just a tad bit shallower. You try not to let it show, but your hands are trembling ever so slightly. The way that you're standing is rather stiff, too.

♡Do you need her to help you relax? You need Giselle to comfort you and tell you how strong you're being for her?

♡Ahem. Focus, Giselle.

♡She's gonna have her fun with you. Patience.

♡But maybe just a little indulgence is okay.

♡"I don't know what you mean." She looks at you with a concerned face.

♡Your mind starts racing– and so do your words.

♡"Oh, uhm, I meant like if you could just clarify why you gave me your number, is all."

♡"Why I gave you my number? Did you think it was to take you out on a date?" She raises an eyebrow at you. She moves aside (and away from you) to let people in.

♡And of course, your darling self follows her. Even though she's just a bit farther away.

♡Ugh, she just needs to have you already. Ah, you'd look so pretty with your hands tied.

♡"I wouldn't have minded if it was." Your eyes nervously meet hers.

♡So her lady is being bold now?

♡In all honesty, she was getting off to this.

♡"Depends If you can be brave enough to call me. But if you can't– you know where to find me, sweetheart. I won't hold it against you. And remember to pick up your things from your table."

♡Giselle waves farewell to you and gives you a wink.

♡Oh shit. You left your things inside!!!

♡You scurry back in and hastily pick up your materials; it's a miracle no one stole your laptop. And whatever you were working on is long forgotten as you awkwardly walk out of the Cafe.

♡After transporting yourself back home, you try to plan out what you want to say.

♡You try. You definitely do.

♡You think about it while you're washing your dishes. When you're sweeping. Cooking. Reading. You even finish folding the pile of clothes on that one chair.

♡While doing so, your mind wanders to Giselle. She seems so kind and considerate... even a bit dominant. You wonder what she would be like if she was at your house: she's helping you do your chores, giving you soft kisses as she passes by you, even flirts with you.

♡"What's my princess doing, walking around the house doing work?" She scoops you up into her arms and holds you tight, attacking you with a flurry of kisses.

♡You give her a hearty laugh. "Giselle, you know we both need to do things around the house. I don't want it to be just you, I'd feel bad."

♡"Oh but just look at you, your bones are breaking and you're- you're dying!!!" She dramatically wipes her tears with your shirt. "I think... I think my princess needs a reward, hmm?"

♡Even when she's fucking you, she's praising you.

♡"You're such a good girl, give me just one more."

♡She has you from behind. Her hand is way up your shirt and the other is shoved down your shorts. Your breathy moans make her plant kisses up and down your neck, leaving small bites in their wake.

♡"Doing so good for me, aren't you princess? Yeah? I know you need me so badly, I know." She coos.

♡You're suddenly transported back into reality.

♡You realize you've been folding your clothes wrong.

♡You blink a few times to readjust to your waking consciousness

♡You promptly flop on your bed and scream into one the pillows

-------

Fem reader was DEF feeling what Giselle was putting down LMAO

Hope yall liked this part and stay tuned for pt. 3!

#fem yandere #yandere wlw #yandere lesbian #yandere community #yandere gf #yandere woman #yandere #yandere girlfriend #yandere x reader #yandere barista

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yeehawbvby · 3 months

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Falling Away With You | Ch. 48

Sebastian x F!Reader and M. Rasmodius x F!Reader

Rating: Mature/Explicit

Chapter Summary: Y/n goes a little apeshit at JojaMart lmao

Author’s Note: *Crawls out of a pit covered in dirt and blood. Slaps this chapter down in front of you, on a SUNDAY no less!*

My health situation hasn’t improved whatsoever, but I will prevail, damnit!!

I wrote most of this and posted to ao3 early this morning, and haven't had a chance to proofread really. I'll do my best to get that done soon ^.^ Sorry if there are any weird wordings. Also sorry for the complete lack of Seb and Magnus in this one, I hope the shenanigans make up for it <3

Table of Contents + Work Summary

Check it out on ao3!

Prev | Next

I hate that stupid, cryptic, blue note I got.

Ever since it came, I think about it every time I check the mailbox, without fail. I don’t want to, I kinda just want to forget it exists, but I just… I dunno. I have a bad feeling about it. A gut feeling. Like, something’s totally up with it. It’s just been sitting in my closet for safekeeping until I decide what to do, though.

For some reason, I’ve been too nervous to bring it back up to Magnus. He’s forgotten it exists, from what I can tell. I think I’ll do my best to keep it that way for now. It feels more like my burden to bear than his, and besides, he’s already got the whole region to take care of.

After today’s confirmation that I don’t have bills or anything important like that, I head inside to get ready to leave the farm. Reeeally hoping my routine will shake out my heebiejeebies.

I got the OK from Magnus to use his fancy shrine for Spirit’s Eve. Got an idea of what I think I want to make myself look like, too. Maybe a tiefling or something. If tieflings don’t really exist, I’m sure some sort of succubi, or imps, or some sort of creature that looks like one’s gotta, no? I suppose I could always fall back on just pretending I’m an elf… man, a tail and horns would be so fun though.

Either way, tomorrow is the big day and I am so ready for it.

I mean, like, almost ready. Whatever.

Today I’m going to Magnus’ place to get some practice in. Just a precautionary measure to try not to, like, blow myself up or something.

I’m gonna keep my outfit cozy and easy to move around in, but I have half a mind to make sure I wouldn’t mind losing these clothes in particular if something goes wrong with the transformation. Just some leggings, some crew-cut socks, an old hoodie, and my favorite boots, since I won’t have my shoes on in the shrine anyway. All of it is in black. Sebastian cosplay.

I’ll pop my red studs in too, gotta commit to the bit. I haven’t had time to talk to The Emo and see if he actually did get his shit pierced last night, but assuming he did, and assuming he was able to use these for it, I wanna go all out, baby.

Now, before I head to the tower, I’ve got some errands to run around town. I woke up a bit late so there’s gonna be more people out than I’m looking forward to, but hopefully I have no creepy Alex encounters or awkward conversations with Shane again.

I promised Sam I’d visit him at work sometime soon, so I might as well head there first. He hates it there, and it’s been a while since we’ve caught up, so I’ll hopefully be a welcome distraction. I’ll bring him a coffee too to keep his spirits high.

After it’s done brewing, I grab two foam cups and pour the coffee in. Knowing Sam, he probably needs this stuff sweet, and I’m in the mood for sweet too, so I pour in a bunch of vanilla-flavored creamer. To make the beverages ~gourmet,~ I add a little whipped cream to each, as well as a light drizzle of chocolate syrup. After securing the plastic lids and giving Cannoli some well-deserved love, I head out.

While I pass by the bus stop, I make eye contact with Pam. I’ve never spoken to her, but… I dunno. I can’t tell if I like her or not. She gives me a nasty stink eye and I can only further assume she’s as mean as she outwardly appears. Unless she was just cursed with an intense resting bitch face...

I smile Pam’s way anyway. She doesn’t smile back, but that’s okay. It doesn’t benefit anyone to be so judgemental of her.

I pass a few local moms once I make it to the town square. None really mind me, which could mean they either didn’t notice, or they don’t care. Either is fine by me. I don’t hear what they’re saying, but Caroline talks very animatedly just before the rest of the group bursts into laughter.

I turn my attention back ahead as I pass by Pierre’s and nearly bump into Marnie as she’s leaving the shop.

We both squeak out a little “Oh!” before apologizing in unison.

“I wasn’t really paying attention,” I double down.

“Oh, that’s fine. I rarely ever am!” She then motions to the two cups in my hands and adds, laughing, “At least the coffee’s safe!”

I awkwardly nod in agreement. Then, a brief flash of myself actually spilling coffee somewhere down the road raids my mind, my necklace tingling against my skin and my fingers practically buzzing.

Great.

“Everything alright, sweetie?”

That probably looked weird. “Yeah, sorry,” I try to recover, “just sleepy today!”

I take a sip of coffee to emphasize my point. Plus, I might as well drink what I can before these puppies go down. Hopefully I’ll be able to save at least one of them when the time comes.

“Aw, I’m sorry to hear that!” She puts a gentle hand on my shoulder. “I need to get back to the shop, but take it easy and don’t overwork yourself, you hear?”

I nod, thanking her and waving her off with a shy grin before I continue moving. Once I get closer to the spot I’m supposed to be spilling these drinks — just before that little bridge over the river by JojaMart — I begin to walk more cautiously. If I can just keep these steady and focus on the ground…

A sneeze creeps up on me. Oh god. Oh god oh fuck oh no.

Just as I’m beginning to carefully place one of the cups on the side of the bridge for safe keeping, the sneeze forces its way out of me. Luckily, one beverage — the one I hadn’t drank from yet — stays safely in my hand. Unluckily, the one I was working on trying to keep safe fell to the stones at my feet, opening up and dispersing its contents fucking everywhere.

God damnit.

“Nice one.”

God fucking damnit.

I look up to the voice. It turns out Shane’s outside having a smoke. He’s at the opposite end of the bridge watching my clumsiness unfold with an aloof look about him. He’s bent over to lean on the stone wall, his right elbow propped up and his corresponding cheek in his palm. His left forearm is flat against the structure while his left hand lazily dangles his cigarette between two fingers.

Is that pink nail polish on one of them? I wonder if that’s Jas’ doing.

I merely groan back my response, picking up the now-empty cup to discard in the trash bin near the store. As I proceed on my walk of shame past Shane, I point out, “At least my clothes stayed safe.”

Shane follows and asks, “How many ants do you think you murdered with that accident?”

I grin a little at his dry humor. “Oh it was a massacre,” I bounce back. “The war in Gotoro pales in comparison.”

“Ha!” Oh my god, I made Shane — the grumpiest fuck I’ve ever met — laugh?! “Right on. Seems like pointless violence anyway.”

I turn to see if I can catch him smiling for the first time, like, ever. It’s not there anymore, but there’s a residual brightness in his features.

Shane snuffs out his cig on the ashtray built into the garbage’s lid, abandoning it there before shoving his hands in the pockets of his bright blue shorts.

“Those sons’a bitches,” he nods in the direction of my carnage, “they had it coming.”

My nose scrunches as I laugh a little, giving him a funny look. “Damn, what’d they do to you?”

There’s a playful glint in his eye, as he deadpans me. “Exist.”

I shrug and nod — I get it, they can be pretty annoying! — and follow the man as he makes his way through the white-rimmed, glass-centered automatic doors. I try not to cringe outwardly at how many self-righteous pro-Joja fliers are on them.

Shane stops a few steps into the store. Turns around. I stop too and look up, tilting my head. What’re you looking at, punk? I think to myself. Dunno if I’d be pushing my limits by trying to say it out loud. Better not.

Shane gives me a weird look too, but I can barely see it. My senses are taking their damn time getting used to the obnoxiously fluorescent lighting.

“Don’t you shop at Pierre’s?” Shane wonders out loud.

I blink a few times as I adjust to the environment and then nod. “Visiting Sam,” I explain.

“Ah.” He nods too, in understanding, and then looking the other way he continues, “Enjoy.”

Shane makes his way towards a door to the right of the manager’s office. Says “Employee’s only,” so I’m assuming it’s a break room or something. I don’t miss the incorrect apostrophe, but choose not to linger on it either.

“You too.” He looks back over his shoulder, so I pair my well wishes with a lazy salute.

“Buh.”

…Buh?

I smile. I think he’s warming up to me!

Feeling a tad lost now that I’m alone, I look around before making any advances. Should’ve asked Shane if he knew where Sam would be around now. I dunno how the shifts work around here.

The cashiers to my left — a visibly exhausted red headed woman, probably in her late 30s or early 40s; and a scrawny, scruffy looking teenager, with thick-framed glasses sitting atop his freckled nose — both look miserable.

The boy is boredly leaning against the counter, zoned out on the ground in front of it. The woman looks totally spaced out on nothing in particular. It almost seems like she’s fighting off sleep, too. Poor lady.

The woman and I lock onto each other. She looks away from my face before I can even register it, but I notice her eyes flicker longingly to the coffee cup in my hand a few times after the fact. I peer between her and the beverage twice before I all but scurry away into the aisles. I’m too awkward for this. My only option is to retreat. Never said I wasn’t a coward.

While I venture past the boatloads of boxed, bagged and canned foods in search of the resident dog boy, I observe some of the products. Some don’t look safe for consumption, while others seem like they’d be fun to try as a one-off sort of deal. It overlaps a few times as well. I mean, why wouldn’t I want to try this cereal which very explicitly states on the box that it’s more sugar than grains? It makes me stifle a giggle. I like the brutal honesty.

I stop and stare at it for a sec. Gnawing my lip. Wondering if I should just…

No. I shan’t.

I break away from temptation and trek on. As I reach the end of the aisle, I pan across the back of the store. More shelf-stable products, a small produce section… ah!

Sam looks like he’s supposed to be mopping the floor near the freezers. To be fair, he is holding a mop, and it is touching the floor! But instead of cleaning, he uses the tool as a microphone; singing against the end of the brown wooden handle, both hands passionately gripping it as he bends his torso to quietly belt one part in particular. Sam’s eyes are shut, his bulky black headphones are secured over his ears, and he has not a single worry in the world.

Holding his coffee in both hands now, I stop walking and lean against a nearby shelf. Observing. Waiting. Eventually he’ll have to see me.

He does a little spin move and carelessly bumps into the bucket of soapy water he’s working with, causing it to slosh around a little. Some of it lands on the floor, and some on the pants of Sam’s jumpsuit. Doesn’t faze him in the slightest.

He does another spin the opposite way and nearly knocks over the conveniently placed display of sprinkles that are situated right in front of the ice cream freezer.

I feel like I should probably stop him before something bad happens, but he looks so damn content and so stinkin’ cute that I can’t be assed.

Just as I’m thinking this, he opens his eyes, completely avoiding my direction while he immediately peers over his shoulder. Sam scans around, getting a full view of the proximate areas. It seems like he’s just making sure he’s not about to get caught by his boss or something, if I had to guess.

Eventually he lands on me. We both smile wide, and I triumphantly hold up his (unspilled!!) coffee in one hand, presenting it with a small flourish of the other and a bow of my head.

“For you, my good sir.” I make sure to sound extra fancy, dropping my voice an octave and annunciating my words a bit too much.

He looks around again before meeting me in the middle with a fist bump, completely ignoring my bit. Aw man.

“Hell yeah, thanks dude!”

I shoot some awkward finger guns at him, “You got it, bud.”

“You didn’t make yourself one?”

I sigh, lamenting, “I did…”

Sam scans my face as we share a short silence. Then, the lightbulb almost visibly goes off in his noggin. “You spilled it, didn’t you?”

Pursing my lips, I nod. “I spilled it, yeah.”

“Buuummer, dude.” He pats my head and I sigh, leaning into his touch. I’ll be damned if I don’t still love head-pats, even if it’s been a while since I’ve gotten one. “Wanna split this one then?” he offers, palm still on my crown. At this point he’s just trying to messy me up.

“No thanks, I’ll just grab another later if I’m really craving it.” Not having noticed the trance I’ve been in as my hair gets slowly and steadily ruined — it feels nice, okay? — I finally look up at him, cheekily glaring as I manually remove his large hand from me. I add on as I try to repair the frizzy aftermath, “Sick performance, by the way!”

“You think so?” he beams. Makes me laugh.

“Of course! It looked like you were having a lot of fun.”

Sam’s face is a bit flushed as he takes the compliment, not even trying to hide it; he has a big goofy grin on his face, too.

It drops and Sam looks behind him as a deep voice with a bit of a southern twang booms from one of the aisles nearby. “Samson?”

“Shit, here.”

Sam hurriedly places his coffee into my hand and rushes back near his water bucket, looking around for his manager as he moves. I try to make things less suspicious by pretending to look at some nearby end caps.

I take a peek over when I hear Sam greet the man, “Hiya! What’s up, Morris?”

Crossing his arms and puffing out his chest to try and make himself look mighty, a man in a navy blue suit, a bright red bow tie, and a poorly-applied black toupee corrects him. “That’s Mr. Saxton, son.”

I roll my eyes. Awesome to know the guy running this Joja is just as insufferable as the dudes who work on the corporate side.

Sam puts an anxious hand on the back of his neck, and halfheartedly smiles as he apologizes, his speaking patterns much more formal than before. Poor guy… it hurts to see him having to tone it down so much for this dipshit.

I turn my attention back in front of me so as to give him some privacy. Not sure he’d want me to hear him getting his ear talked off.

This display is full of holiday cards... I might as well waste some time with these bad boys. I pick up one with a cartoon beagle wearing a birthday hat on it, stealing a sip of Sam’s coffee as I read the pun on the front: “Have a doggone good birthday!” Alright, nice and cheesy start…

I flip the card open. It starts blaring Baha Men’s “Who Let The Dogs Out.” Fucking hell. Jumpscare me, why doncha! I shudder at how tinny the music sounds — likely made worse by its volume — then close the card and place it back in its spot, not bothering to read more.

“Excuse me, miss?”

I peer over my left shoulder, and see that Mr. Saxton is making his way towards me. A vein is popping in his forehead, but he has a toothy smile on his face that screams customer service. Not sure what’s going on and feeling a little anxious about the situation, I don’t answer with words — I just turn my body to him and watch him expectantly.

My eyes flicker to Sam real quick, who’s closer to the opposite end of the freezers now. He’s looking over here though, and when his eyes catch mine, he mouths “Go!” and motions his arm towards the front end of the store. Maybe he got caught socializing or something… wouldn’t doubt that there’s probably heavy surveillance in here. Man.

I look back at Sam’s boss as he says, “I’m going to need you to discard your beverage.”

My brows furrow and I tilt my head. “Why?”

Ah, he’s the asking-questions-is-talking-back type: He huffs a deep breath and tilts his head as if to mimic me, clasping his fingers together in front of his ribs. The smile and vein are both still on his face.

“It is not only unacceptable to bring your own food into a grocery store,” he strains, “but I cannot have you spilling your drink all over our products.”

…I haven’t spilled anything. What does he think I am, some crusty little kid?

Damn, this is bringing out a rage that I haven’t experienced since working behind a Joja desk. I didn’t know I was even capable of it anymore. Must be something about the overstimulatingly bright blues, or the blindingly white strips of lights. Same ones we had above each cubicle in the office.

My anxiety is rapidly replaced with a petty yearn to cause a ruckus as I realize that I don’t work for Joja anymore. I never have to even come here again, actually.

I don’t answer to this fucko! I don’t answer to anyone!

Screw this guy!

Feeling courageous, I put on my own customer service mask as I inquire, “Do you want me to spill this on your products?”

“E-excuse me?!”

I hover the cup near the cards, tilting it a little. Doing a little eyebrow wiggle too for good measure. “It feels like you dooo.”

“I— w-what are you doing?”

Seb would be so proud if he were here. Not sure how Magnus would react, but I’d like to imagine he’d support me too.

Completely on impulse, I bring the cup in front of me and splash a little coffee in the man’s direction instead of the cards’. The now-lukewarm liquid splatters onto the white button-down beneath his jacket and rapidly seeps into the fabric, leaving a light brown, unsightly splotch.

Sick, got him where it hurts and none got on the floor! Less work for Sam!

Making sure my voice is just as cheery as Morris was trying to keep his, I cap this off, “Stop treating your employees like crap and stop treating complete strangers like children, asshole.”

This feels so good. My heart is racing and my pits feel a little moist and I might just end up an anxious mess the second I walk away, but I’ll be damned if this isn’t cool as fuck in the moment. When Leah asked me last week if Magnus ever wanted to go apeshit, it didn’t even occur to me how badly I wanted to go apeshit.

I walk down the nearest aisle as Morris continues sputtering something about me leaving, paying for this, whatever.

Shane’s kneeled down in the middle of the aisle stocking shelves. He faces me for a moment and grins slyly. “That was cool as hell.” Why does this feel so validating? “A woman after my own heart.”

HUH?

I blink that fucking flashbang away — seriously, the last time I saw him he was still being a dick, and today he’s treating every interaction like we’re fully acquainted, if not more, what the heck — as he turns away to scan items onto the shelf again.

“I really didn’t do much…” I really didn’t. Just kinda caused a minor inconvenience for the guy.

My hands are shaking though, so it must be catching up to me.

“That still took some balls.” He glimpses at me briefly and adds, “Y’look like you might cry, though. Get outta here before I change my mind about you.”

I huff out a quiet laugh and steady Sam’s — well, my, now — coffee in both hands. “On it, boss.”

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poseidonsdaughterthesiren · 2 months

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The Daughter of Poseidon: Chapter Six

Della has to admit flying on a bronze dragon’s back is a surreal feeling. Up high the air is frigid. But thanks to the heat Festus generates they don’t feel it at all. Talk about seat warmers!

Leo uses reins to steer Festus through the clouds like a reindeer. They zip through the clouds with ease the rest of the world below is nothing but a speck.

“Cool right?” Leo says. A pleased smile coats his features.

“What if we get spotted?” asks Piper.

“The mist,” Jason and Della say at the same time. Jason smiles at her.

“It keeps mortals from seeing magic things,” Della explains, “Only seers will notice anything out of the ordinary.”

Her mind goes back to the memory of Luke. His poor mother–

“Seers?” asks Leo.

“Mortals who can see through the mist,” Jason answers.

Della glances back at him and notices he’s holding a photo of a girl, a girl with dark hair. Is that…Thaila?

Jason glances up at her. He sheepishly puts the photo back in his pocket.

“We’re making good time probably get there by tonight.”

“Get where?” Della asks. “I thought you didn’t have a plan.”

Jason laughs, “We’re going to find the god of the North Wind. And chase some storm spirits.”

⬳

The silence had begun to drive Della insane. Typically, when she and her friends went on quests they couldn’t shut up. Percy, in particular never shut up on their quests.

“So,” Piper says. Oh, thank the gods. “Della earlier you said you’re a cursed child…what exactly does that mean?”

Leo sat up straight at the head of the dragon. “You’re cursed?!?”

Della laughs dryly. “Sometimes I wonder, but being a cursed child means that you’re an offspring of the Big Three.”

“The Big Three?” Piper asks. “Do you mean, like Zeus, Hades, and–”

“Poseidon, yeah. They made a pack to not have kids. It’s a loose promise. Anyways, all three have broken it in recent years. We’re more forbidden than cursed.”

“So, are you, your brother, and Jason the only ones?” asks Leo.

“No there’s Nico Di Angelo a son of Hades, and Thalia Grace…she’s a daughter of Zeus but has taken up with the Hunters of Artemis.”

“So why did make a pact if they break it?” asks Piper.

“We’re considered ‘too powerful’ which is fair Percy can take on a whole army by himself, and I–we don’t fully know what all I can do yet.” Della looks down at her lap.

She’s always felt second best to Percy, especially after he took on the Curse of Achilles. She doesn’t understand all she can do. The only thing she does know is her fate, her usual nightmare. Meeting a similar end to Thesus. Being betrayed and thrown over a cliff–but instead of into the sea, it’s Asphodel. She’d seen it in person back when she was twelve, on her first quest.

Della shivers at the thought of the horrid place.

“Shut up me,” Leo says out of nowhere.

“What?” Piper asks.

“Nothing,” he says, “Long night. I think I’m hallucinating. It’s cool.”

Jason, Piper, and Della all share looks of concern.

“Just joking.” Leo decides to change the subject. “So what’s the plan bro? You said something about catching wind, breaking wind, or something?”

As they fly over New England, Jason lays out the game plan. First, find Boreas and grill him for information–

“His name is Boreas?” Leo has to ask. “What is he the God of Boring?”

Second, Jason continues, they have to find the spirits that attacked them at the Grand Canyon–

“Venti? Do you mean anemoi thuellai?” asks Della.

“Can we just call them storm spirits?” Leo asks, “Venti makes them sound like evil expresso drinks and the other one sounds harder.”

And third, Jason finishes, they had to find out who the storm spirits work for, so they could find Hera and free her.

“So you want to look for Dylan, the nasty storm dude, on purpose?”

“That’s about it. Well…there might be a wolf involved too. I think she’s friendly…so she probably won’t eat us, unless we show her weakness–”

“I’m sorry…a wolf?” asks Della. She turns around and faces him.

Jason explains his dream of Lupa the murder-wolf and a burned-out house with stone spires growing out of the swimming pool.

“Uh-huh, but you don’t know where this place is?” asks Leo.

“Nope.”

“Lovely…” says Piper.

“Sounds about right for a forbidden child’s quest.” Della turns back towards the others.

“There are also giants, the prophecy said “The giants’ revenge” Piper reminds them.

“Hold on,” Leo says, “Giants? As in more than one? Why can’t it be one giant who wants revenge?”

“Too easy,” Della mutters.

“I don’t think so,” Piper muses, “I remember in some of the old Greek stories, there was something about an army of giants.”

“But they haven’t been seen for centuries, but then again neither had Kronos.”

“Great…knowing our luck it will be a whole army,” Leo says. “You learn anything else while doing research for your dad Pipes?”

“Your dad?” Della asks.

“Umm yeah, he’s an actor, Tristan McLean.” Piper mumbles.

“What was he in?” asks Della and Jason.

“I’m surprised Della doesn’t know.”

“Hmmm….oh wait…wait! Yes! He’s the Aphrodite’s cabin top pick this year!”

Piper sighs. “That’s why he’s on the wall in my cabin.”

“Yeah, they pick a new “hottie” every year.”

Piper looks about ready to heave off to the side.

Leo on the other hand cackles. “That’s the only reason you’ve heard of him?”

“I mean I vaguely remember the movie posters. But Percy, Beth, and I don’t go to movies very often.”

“You don’t go to movies?” Leo asks.

“Look I don’t go out very much in the mortal world unless I’m thirdwheeling.”

It was a sad truth, Della didn’t really go out that often. It just wasn’t her style. Of course, she’s been to movies over the past few years but is has always been with Annabeth and Percy. Mostly, because Percy drug her carcass out with them.

“Thirdwheeling?” The others ask.

Della sighs. “Not to change the subject, but I’m gonna….giants, we were discussing the giants.”

“The giants–well there were loads in Greek mythology. But if I’m thinking of the right ones they were bads news.

“Extremely bad news,” Della sighs. “They rose after Krono's first downfall–eons ago. They could throw mountains and things of that nature. Like the Titans, they too tried to destroy Olympus. If these are the same giants–”

“Chiron said it was happening again,” Jason says. “The last chapter–that’s what he meant. No wonder he didn’t want us to know all the details.”

Leo whistles. “So…giants who can throw mountains. A wolf-mother who will eat us if we show weakness. Evil Starbucks drinks. Got it. Maybe not the best time to bring up my psycho babysitter.”

“You’re joking,” Piper says.

Leo tells them about Tîa Callida, who was Hera, and how she’d appeared to him at camp. He fills them in on his past. How his mom died. And finally tells them about a woman in earthen robes who seemed to be asleep.

“That’s disturbing…” says Piper.

“Bout sums it up. The thing is everyone says not to trust Hera. And the prophecy says we’ll unleash death if we cause her rage. So… I gotta ask…why are we doing this?”

“Because the gods–she chose us,” Della sighs, “I will admit you guys have it a bit rougher than my first quest.”

“What do you mean?” Jason asks.

“You,” she points at Jason. “Have no memory. But I’m not that worried about your fighting ability. This is definitely not your first quest.” She looks over at Leo and Piper. “You two have absolutely no training. At least Percy and I had two weeks…then again we were twelve…”

“You were twelve?!?!” Piper and Leo say in disbelief.

“You only had two weeks of training?” asks Jason.

Della shrugs and smiles a bit. “ Zeus accused me and Percy of stealing his master bolt. Even though we didn’t know we were half-bloods.”

“Holy–how’re you alive?”

“Luck?” Della laughs. “Anyways the other reason we have to do this is–this quest will kick off something bigger. This is an antecedent.”

“And helping Hera is the only way to get back my memory. That dark spire in my dream seemed to be feeding off Hera’s energy. If that thing unleashes a king of giants by destroying Hera–”

“Not a good trade-off,” Piper agrees. “At least Hera is on our side.”

“Mostly–she’s the peacekeeper. The only thing that keeps the gods from annihilating each other,” Della chimes in.

Jason nods, “Chiron said worse forces are stirring on the day of the solstice, with it being a good time for dark magic, and all–something that could awaken if Hera were sacrificed that day. And a mistress who’s controlling storm spirits, the one who wants to kill all demigods–”

“Might be that weird sleeping dirt lady.” finishes Leo.

“If she’s asleep that means we have some time,” says Della.

“Yeah, Dirt Woman fully awake,” Leo says, “not something I want to see.”

“But who is she?” Jason asks, “And what does she have to do with the giants?”

Good questions, no answers. The wind blew colder the further north they went.

Della rubs her hands together to keep warm and then rubs at her eyes.

“Hey,” Jason leans forward, “get some sleep, Ariel. We need our guide.”

“I’ll take you up on that Hercules. You do the same,” she whispers.

She closes her eyes and dozes off.

#oc character #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson #heroes of olympus #percy and annabeth #percyjacksonxsister!reader #jason grace x jackson!reader #fanfic #jason grace x reader

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nofomogirl · 8 months

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Book of Life in Good Omens

This was initially supposed to be part of my "Metatron's manipulation" series (link goes to Part 1 of currently 7), specifically the "alternative offers" post I'm currently working on (which will be Part 8). But I've decided it would work better as a separate thing. Allow me to run more freely in any direction my nasty little heart desires. So here you are.

It's hard not to speculate about the Book of Life, considering how many times it was mentioned this season, how big it is, and how nothing seems to come out of it yet. It's also hard to speculate about it, considering how little we know about it. But let's try.

Facts we have from the show

Right after Gabriel appears at Aziraphale's bookshop, Michael calls Beelzebub to inform them that if anyone is found helping Gabriel, Heaven is prepared to use Extreme Sanctions, aka. Book of Life.

When Beelzebub summons Crowley to Hell, they tell him that they heard anybody Heaven finds involved with Gabriel will be dealt with, meaning Extreme Sanctions.

Crowley doesn't initially believe it's a real thing, he insists it's just something they used to joke about to frighten the cherubs.

Beelzebub finally explains what it is: erasing from the Book of Life which equals erasing from existence - "they won't just be gone, they will never have existed".

After Gabriel and Beelzebub are gone, Michael threatens Aziraphale directly, insisting she is authorized to remove the name of anyone who helped Gabriel from the Book of Life.

Metatron shuts her down by saying she doesn't have the authority to do it.

They're... not very helpful. More gossip and hearsay than facts.

A quick look at Christian tradition

It has such a concept as a Book of Life, however, the titular Life is not literal but rather a commonly used metaphor for salvation. It also has a counterpart, the Book of Death. Having your name in the Book of Life simply means being destined for Heaven; having your name moved to the Book of Death equals being condemned to Hell. I've never once come across either of them mentioned in any other context than that of judging human beings (though admittedly, I haven't read that much on them).

So, not very helpful either, and it looks like Neil took only a name and made his own rules.

Possibly. Because we don't know any rules yet. We have no idea who can access and use it and when. We think we know that if you remove someone's name from the Book of Life you erase them completely from existence, but it might not even be true.

Honestly, I wouldn't be all that surprised if The Book of Life turned out to actually be a celestial boogeyman Crowley initially believed it to be. It wouldn't also be inconsistent with the original Good Omens spirit, where supposedly great things turned out to be insignificant and/or easily solved in the end.

But just for the fun of it, let's pull at what we have in Christian tradition and what we know from the show.

Combining the two

Extending the use of both the Book of Life and the Book of Death to supernatural entities is not much of a stretch. However, if this was the case, removing Aziraphale's name from the Book of Life would mean his Fall, not erasure from existence. In fact, this would be exactly how the Fall would happen - you remove an angel's name from the book of beings meant to be in Heaven and move it to the book of beings meant to be in Hell, and you get a demon.

It also explains how it could be done the other way - a demon's name could be removed from the Book of the Death, reentered into the Book of Life, and bam! fully angelic status restored. After all, we were made aware this season that Fall could be reversible.

Honestly, it would make a lot of sense to me.

In the Resurrectionists minisode Aziraphale tells Crowley: "I am good. You, I'm afraid, are evil. But people get a choice." If you were a little taken aback that Aziraphale says things like that at that point and found it somewhat jarring, that's because it kind of is. The line is taken directly from the original book, where it was explicitly stated that Aziraphale and Crowley only started developing free will on Earth, due to extended exposure to humans. It was part of their "going native" and what made them different. But in the show, it's quite clearly not the case.

When it comes to morality, angels and demons in the show are a lot like people. They're neither static nor quoy, at least not inherently so. They're fully capable of growth and change and making their own decisions, both good and bad. So IF we agree, that being assigned to either Heaven or Hell is a reflection of someone's moral status, and someone's moral status can change with their choices and actions, it's logical that there is a mechanism that technically allows them to be reassigned as many times as necessary.

It also makes sense that Heaven would block that mechanism after the Rebellion and the Fall, and insists that whatever side anyone is on, that's final. All that's left is to fight each other.

Is it show-canon compliant?

There's one major issue with that theory - nobody in the show seems to perceive the Book of Life this way. It's synonymous with literal life ie. existence. It's not tied to Fall in any way. There's no mention of the Book of Death.

How do I defend against it?

It's not that hard, really.

As I've pointed out already, nobody seems to really know what they are talking about. The Book of Life? It rings a bell, there was such a thing, although maybe it wasn't, maybe it was a joke... Nobody is a reliable source of information and I'm pretty sure that whatever we will learn about the Book of Life in season 3 will prove information from season 2 to be incomplete and misleading.

Of course that doesn't exactly support my theory, it's just not an obstacle it seems to be at first glance.

And just in case it wasn't clear, I'm not really trying to predict where the story will go, but rather speculate for the fun of it.

So, I merrily speculate several reasons why there are two books whose purpose is to decide who belongs in Heaven and who belongs in Hell, but everybody in season 2 believes there's one book whose purpose is to decide who exists.

Reason #1: The truth about two books was hidden by some higher-up in Heaven, possibly Metatron, to hide the inconvenient fact that all there is to being an angel or a demon is to be entered into an appropriate list. That can be edited. Unlimited amount of times.

Reason #2: The misinformation was created and spread by the Metatron specifically for this situation. He expected that whoever might meddle with the whole Gabriel affair would either be a demon, who you cannot exactly threaten with falling, or Aziraphale, who might not care enough for that to be effective.

Reason #3: Everyone's knowledge comes from before the Fall. So it's partly forgotten and partly censored, but above all, before the Fall, when everybody's names were in the Book of Life, they might simply have misunderstood the meaning of having your name removed from it, as it's never happened before.

Reason #4: Erasing someone's existence completely is in fact possible if you remove someone's name from one book and never enter it into the other.

(Please note that this generates a lot of questions on how exactly you move names between the two books if being in neither means you don't exist and never have. There would have to be some security measures to make sure people won't just disappear during transfer.)

Reason #5: Being erased from existence is a metaphor for the fundamental transformation you undergo when shifting from an angel to a demon (and possibly vice versa). Especially if you consider that a supernatural entity wouldn't probably just have their name moved, they'd most likely be entered under a new name. So they would be the same being but not the same person anymore.

Pick any combination of the above.

Who should fear the Book of Life?

The book is first mentioned when Michael tips Beelzebub that Heaven is prepared to use it against anyone found helping Gabriel. Beelzebub later conveys the message to Crowley, plus an extended explanation.

The key word here is anybody. If Gabriel was helped by both Aziraphale and Crowley, they were both risking punishment.

But Crowley acts as if only Aziraphale is in danger and indeed, when Michael brings it up again, in the finale, she only threatens Aziraphale and completely ignores Crowley.

Why?

Crowley can be easily explained by his continuous disregard for his own safety. But Michael? Why did she call Hell to warn Beelzebub how serious Heaven was about it if she wasn't ready to actually go through and punish a demon? Does she not realize how deeply Crowley was involved? Does she think Aziraphale did it on his own? Is she reluctant to actually administer the punishment that feels outside her jurisdiction? Or is she simply more focused on Aziraphale because he pissed her off?

If we assume my theory about the Books of Life & Death is correct, then Michael's threat was an empty one for a demon, whose name was no longer in the Book of Life anyway. But if we assume my theory is right, then none of them should be aware of that.

However.

If we assume my theory is true minus Reason #4 (the loophole that actually allows for someone to be permanently destroyed from existence), let's think about the theory that Metatron blackmailed Aziraphale into taking his offer by indirectly threatening Crowley's existence.

Aziraphale is unaware of how it all works. He picks on Metatron's threat and interprets it in accordance with how he believes the Book of Life works. He comes to the conclusion that if he doesn't obey, Crowley will be removed from existence. But Metatron actually means the metaphorical erasure I described as Reason #5. He means the destruction of Crowley's personality and most of his self. The trauma that would happen if Crowley underwent the transformation that is the result of being moved from one book to the other. At the same time, Metatron says that if Aziraphale becomes the Supreme Archangel, he could make Crowley an angel again. This would happen by removing a demon's name from the Book of Death and entering him, possibly under another name, into the Book of Life.

Yes, I have amused myself during the weekend by creating a theory in which the thing Metatron threatens Aziraphale with if he doesn't obey and the thing he promises as a reward if he does IS THE SAME EXACT THING.

Spread the news to all the angst-loving mostly canon-compliant fanfiction authors!

Removing things from existence

As a final point in this post that has long run away from me and I'm not sure has a point any longer, I'd like to remind you of something.

Mentioning the Book of Life in season 2 is not the first time that the concept of removing something from existence and making it so it would never have happened appears in Good Omens Universe.

Please remember Adam Young, the Antichrist, who faced Satan at the Tadfield Airbase and declared he was not his father and never had been. Reality listened to him and Satan disappeared. However, it didn't change the timeline, didn't erase the events that already happened, and didn't exactly strip Adam of his powers.

What does it mean?

No idea.

Thank you for your patience.

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens spoilers #good omens 2 spoilers #good omens meta #good omens unhinged meta #I just rolled with it

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infisonicosm · 8 months

Text

It's been 18/19 days since I last posted(who's counting tho) and while I'm positive this post will receive a big majority of you rolling your eyes, I hope this will stick with the few that read it all and listen to what I have to say.

I usually put my long winded posts under a read more, but I'm gonna subject all of you to actually see this and if you don't like it, that's fine, it's the last post I'll be making on here anyways.

I'm stepping away from the GVF fandom. I'm not looking for sympathy or anyone to beg me to stay, this is something I've been thinking on for a while now since the last round of nasty anons I got. And trust, I'm aware I don't need to announce my departure. I could leave silently like others have. But, we all know I don't work like that.

After what I saw on Twitter today, it was the nail in the coffin for me that I'm done here. I know what some of you are thinking 'Don't let a few bad people ruin the fun for you!' but the sad fact of the matter is it has. This fandom isn't fun. It's full of mean spirited people who would rather trash somebody who just passed away bc she listened to an artist they don't like, than be there to show the slightest bit of compassion for the people mourning.

Have y'all no home training? What tragic event happened in y'alls lives to make you so HATEFUL? Does it not get exhausting?

Y'all need to understand that your words/actions have consequences. They might not directly effect you but they WILL effect others. THAT'S why so many people don't last a year in this fandom. THAT'S why people are even SCARED to interact in this fandom. You tone deaf, cold-hearted assholes ruined this space and this band for so many people. And I've decided that if you guys can't even be respectful of someone's passing then it's not a space I want to be associated with. I've been pretty open about my grief and it's not something I take lightly.

I'm so disappointed and let down. All I wanted was to make friends and soul bond with people over music. That's literally impossible though here bc if it's not a pissing contest then it's not worth it to MOST of you.

I'm tired of fighting to prove my worth as a friend, and a fan of this band. I'm tired of wondering what innocent thing I will say that might piss some chronically online soul off. This isn't a fun hobby anymore. I have anxiety when I get on here now and that's not right. I shouldn't be nervous to be around people who love the same band as me.

Sorry to bring down the mood on the dash, there's was never a right time to post this and I've accepted I'll never make anyone happy on here as it stands lmaoooo.

Hope you all thrive and have successful lives. I'll still be around and supporting GVF. Just not active in the fandom. If you need me, you know where to find me.

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echoes-silence-patience-swar · 4 months

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Goodbye Eri (2022) + Long long ramble about Film

Review/Analysis

Goodbye Eri by Tatsuki Fujimoto was a one-shot web manga released on the Shonen Jump+ Website and published in print later that year. I read it in print, this review is actually a reread. Spoilers for first third or so of Goodbye Eri and implied spoilers for Fujimoto's other works mostly Fire Punch. Also like TW for mentions of: Terminal Illness, Parental Death, Suicide, Domestic Violence

(Eri, Sorry for blur but I thought it was in theme)

Now that I think about it, Eri or Togata should be the profile picture, I just had Asa on hand. Goodbye Eri is a work I very much enjoy ^.^ It and Togata's film metaphors in Fire Punch are major reasons I started posting reviews particularly of movies in the first place. That as well as a High School film class with the most tired teacher on Earth, who seemed to actually like all the work I submitted. I think that a lot of the time it's hard to find good movies coming out, most movies in good ol' USA anyway are mostly made for money. I mean I can't really blame them I guess movies are freakin' expensive dude but it's not so often I feel you find something real nice that's not from an already well established director like my good pal Wes Andy. You see stuff like spider verse maybe but then you here about the horrible working conditions behind the product, ugh product that's nasty let's go with.. uhh piece? movie is probably the best bet.

Anyway Goodbye Eri is about watching movies, making movies, relationships, memory. By the way I promise you this is not just going to be a plot summary though this next paragraph will be the start of the book. Yuta's mother gets him a smartphone for his 12th birthday and asks him to record her dying moments as she has some sort of terminal illness. The entire manga is shown through a phone camera btw usally using landscape shots. After he runs away, failing to capture his mothers final moments, and turning it into a movie ending with an explosion. His movie gets mocked and he decides to take his own life, but before he can jump off a hospital roof, he meets a mysterious girl named Eri. Eri recognizes him from his movie, drags him to an abandoned building, and makes him to watch movies so he can make a better one. This like reignites his spirit.

(Eri Intro Panel)

I really really like Goodbye Eri. I know Eri probably gets the MPDG allegations and that's like.. stupid sorry. I'm sure she does in the same way Togata (Fire Punch) does, but Togata is like not that he's pretending to be that. I'm not gonna go very far into that this isn't about Fire Punch. Anyway I think Eri is far too interesting for that. Yuta also is a very interesting character he's kind of a weirdo but of course he is I mean it seems like he's sort of an outcast he spent his entire middle school making a movie about his dead mom. This book actually inspired me to watch a movie everyday which I consistently fail but y'know I get better at committing every week. I think this one-shot also really shows off Fujimoto's grasp on like the "Silent Panel" how he can show a lot without any dialogue or very little for even whole pages, he's also insane at slightly shifting expressions. There are also several pure black panels, this is interesting to me because since the story is shot through a phone and it is a "video" his phone must be face down, there's probably background noise. I also think the subtle habits Yuta and Eri notice from each other is very accurate to what happens when you spend a lot of time with someone. There's also a very cool blur effect in this manga, someone told me if you remove all the blurred panels the story is different, but I don't think that's necessarily purposeful? Idk, tell me if anyone knows anything

Major Spoilers Past Here

It's absolutely worth buying this because it's so interesting on reread due to sort of a major twist in the middle/end. His mom wasn't a good person. You could guess this by her strange almost cruel request of her 12 year old son to film her death and Yuta's father crying earlier on but this could all be interrupted as just the grief of her tragic situation. But no, she yells at her son and her husband, she hits Yuta at one point, criticizes what he films and is calls him useless to his father in her final moments. Yuta's father was shocked when she was a good mom in the movie, Eri says he shoots his mother beautifully. We also find out later after Eri dies(?) from Eri's one other friend that she had glasses and a dental retainer, which were taken out from the movie. This means every single shot with Eri that actually happened was reshot. This kind of explains her movie like dialogue in some bits where she's just trying to be cool or dramatic. I love the ending, it's so interesting that where you think would be a title drop it's only implied by an earlier shot.

(Yuta and Eri)

TLDR: Buy Goodbye Eri from a bookstore or pirate it I'm not your boss, you'll always find something new when you read. Heavily Recommend. It made me cry it's awesome.

#movies #films #manga #goodbye eri #tatsuki fujimoto #fire punch

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therealityhelix · 7 months

Text

Shards of the Nexus: Regression Engine

There's a reason he wanted to be somebody else.

Takes place before Seeker and Seer.

Warning! Bit of nasty language. Also, this is a long one.

@cardwrecks @captainbaddecisions

Song: Don't Let Me Get Me-P!ink

The alcohol both numbed and lifted him, blending with the thrumming music to create a fizzy, dizzying sensation in his head. The dance floor spun along with him, the lights a spangling rainbow in the dark. A writhing human ocean of bodies and hands pressing against him, a hundred clashing perfumes and colognes rising to the ceiling, buoyed on a cloud of sweat.

Swag loved this feeling.

Usually.

Tonight, the dizziness wasn't a release, it was just disorientation, and he wobbled across the dance floor, to wind his way upstairs. On his way there, he somehow latched arms with a few people, who ended up in his room with him, but he didn't have any complaints. And he made sure they didn't either.

When he dragged himself out of bed in the morning-well, midmorning-well, noon actually-only two of them were still there. He hoped the others hadn't fucked with any of his stuff on their way out, but his reputation still held on enough that most people didn't.

He was well aware that a lot of the people who found their way into his bed were in it for the thrill of who he'd used to be. The challenge, the bragging rights, the curiosity. Whatever. He didn't mind; he got to have a good time too, after all. Most of them didn't stick around for long afterward though.

These two, however, seemed to at least want breakfast.

“So big boy, you as good in the kitchen as you are in the sheets?” one asked.

His laugh was rough with sleep and residual alcohol.

“Unfortunately, no. I put all my extra points into my hips, if you know what I mean.”

“Oh, I do. That's okay, I can throw us something together. How d'you like your eggs?”

“Scramb-” he began, cutting off as he noticed her face fade from flirty, to frightened.

“What the fuck is that?” she whispered, pointing to one corner of his bedroom.

An anomalous form hunched there, pale gray and shifting, just barely humanoid. One of those damn wizard aliens! He didn't have much patience for these things.

“i'm curious about you”

Its voice slithered into his mind, nothing more than a whispered breath, as lacking in detail as its blank face.

“The feeling ain't mutual. Now scram!”

“Is it talking to you?” the other one asked, both partners taking shelter behind him. He glanced back.

“Hey, don't worry, okay? It's weird, but it'll be all right. Hey, you're freaking out my guests! Beat it!”

“i'm curious about how you were once one way but are now another way

how is that

humans can't really change so how are you doing it”

“Man, it's a long story, and I don't really feel like telling you. I just decided to, okay?”

“just decided to act differently and dress differently and be different

what part of it allows you to be different”

“The indomitable human spirit and my slammin' fashion sense. Go away.”

“ah your 'swag' as you humans put it

what a quaint concept

all that garish color and pointless detail

what if you didn't have that”

“Then I'd be naked.” Swag sneered. “Well...more naked.”

“then I expunge your 'swag' and all it entails

i want to see what will happen”

“Bro, that is so fuckin' stu-”

Magic flipped him inside out like a photo negative, a spool winding backwards. A spurt of malevolence splashed though his veins, making his fluffy bathrobe uncomfortably hot. He tore it from his thin form, and dropped it on the ground. Everything in the room felt wrong. Stifling. Everything was so...so fuzzy and soft, so clogged with dust, the perfect home for mites and allergens, and who knew what other kinds of potential pests and infestations?

It wasn't just the clothes. It wasn't just the clothes that made him who he was, it was the attitude, the demeanor, the coping mechanism he used to direct his mind away from its old paths. The Gray had lumped everything under the umbrella term of 'swag' and snatched it all away.

And who was he without that?

He knew. Unfortunately, he knew.

His sideburns itched, unnecessary, extraneous growths that served no purpose but to gather dirt. Everything was dirty; when was the last time anything in here had been cleaned?

“Eddie? Baby, are you okay?” One of the strangers placed their hand on his arm. He shoved them away immediately.

“Don't touch me!” he shouted, eyes wild. “You're filthy! All of you are covered in disease! Don't-”

They recoiled in fear.

“Fuck. Sorry. S-sorry, I didn't mean that.” he stammered, battling back a flood of anger and disgust. “Sorry, just...just don't touch me. You should...you should probably leave.”

“What happened?” the other asked, reaching out. “Do you need help?”

“Get out!”

He shoved them again, and this time, he didn't feel nearly as sorry.

They ran from him, but it didn't matter.

He needed to go check his cameras.

?~?~?~?~?

Something was wrong. Something was wrong.

It scuttled up the back of Detective's scalp, ruffling hairs along the way.

Something was wrong.

They hurried into their study, snatching up a small velvet bag along the way. Seating themselves at their antique leathertop desk, they lit a candle. They stared into the little flame, breathing deeply to push back against rising panic.

Once they had regained control, they opened the velvet bag, removing an ornate tarot deck.

What was the universe trying to tell them? They asked the cards while shuffling, slipping out three, and spreading them out on the desk.

The Five of Cups. The Tower. And off to the side, Temperance, reversed.

Regret. Failure. Terrible upheaval. And...

Swag.

They had to go find Swag. Something was wrong.

The world of the Question Mark shimmered at the edge of their vision. Swag. And danger. A faraway figure out on the horizon.

By the time they realized they were walking, their feet had already taken them to his doorstep.

Inside, everything was quiet and still. Detective heard muffled voices, and followed them to their source.

Swag perched on a chair in the kitchen, sketching on a roll a paper spread over the table.

“Crushing is always such a fun possibility.” Arkham's voice floated, tinny and harsh, from Swag's phone. “The walls closing in, just slowly enough that the victim can see what is going to happen, and panic at their own helplessness. The desperation. The inevitable ending. Such a good time. Well, when you're on the outside anyway. I have some of the parts you might need, if you feel like swinging by.”

“Hm. Not a bad suggestion.” Swag said. “But you'll forgive me if I don't jump at the opportunity to make myself vulnerable in somebody else's lair.”

“Will I?” Arkham said. “I suppose I will. Just this once.”

“Poisoning, perhaps.” Swag mused. “Something slow-acting. Pose the riddle and watch their terror grow as they begin to drop on the dance floor. If someone solves it, they get the antidote, but only the one who answered. Make it competitive.”

“Desperation and selfishness. A delight. But I thought you wanted blood?”

“Perhaps more metaphorically than literally, but I certainly wouldn't mind. Actually, there's enough space in here that I could put together a whole gauntlet without much trouble. I think I'll do that.”

“Swag?” Detective asked, worried. This kind of talk was...uncomfortable.

Swag held his hand up in a silencing gesture.

“How do you keep an idiot waiting?” he mumbled.

“What was that?” Arkham asked.

“Nothing to worry about. An interruption has arrived. I'll see to it.”

“Shall I call back?” Arkham offered.

“I think not. It's not that your company is unpleasant or anything, it's just that I know you're trying to distract me, and I'm not inclined to let you continue. Clever attempt though. I'm sure we'll cross paths later.”

Better hope not.” Arkham said, and they both laughed. Swag hung up the phone.

“I'll tell you later.” he finished the riddle, a drawl of challenge in his rolling tone. “So. You.”

“I can't help but feel as though you are on the edge of doing something you might later regret.”

“Something you might regret perhaps, but I'm feeling better than ever.” Swag asserted, holding his arms out wide. His eyes held no happiness that they could detect, just a manic sort of fervor. “I'm leaving behind all of my guilt and anxiety, ditching the false face. I'm letting that moron die and rising back up from the ashes. Call it an act of self care.”

“I shan't.” Detective said. “The Swag I know-”

Swag slammed his fist down on the table. Detective flinched.

“You never knew me.” he growled. “All you knew was a mask. A fucking jester. A coping mechanism that rose as a defense to too much thinking. He was, by nature and by design, my lesser.”

“He is loved.” Detective insisted. “What has brought this on? If you were truly so dissatisfied with things, why not speak with us about it? It's terrible to see you like this.”

“You will learn to like it!” Swag snapped. “Just like everyone else. Honestly, you act like I've killed somebody's best friend...which I have. Just not today. Not yet.”

“I will not allow-”

“It isn't your choice.” Swag cut them off. “Really, this infatuation of yours is pointless. Don't mourn that disgrace, Detective, welcome his restored superior! And also, leave. I have work to do.”

“Swag-” Detective stepped forward, stopping abruptly as the tip of Swags pen came up beneath their chin.

“Think you can take me?” Swag asked. “You aren't armed, are you? You don't bring weapons here. Swag's not dangerous, after all.”

Detective backed away.

“I shall take my leave.” they said.

?~?~?~?~?

No answer.

“Maybe he didn't hear?” Narci suggested.

“He'd better not be 'occupied'.” Puzzles grumbled, typing into his phone. “He knows we were coming, and I am not playing second fiddle to some floozie.”

He rang the doorbell several more times.

“Come on you strutting voluptuary, don't you dare leave us waiting.”

The door slammed open. Narci jumped. A stranger shoved his head out.

“What do you fucks want?” He snapped.

It was Swag, Puzzles realized with a shock. Clean-shaven and divested of his jewelry, hair slicked back under an olive green bowler. He glared coldly at them, and Narci shifted uncomfortably.

“You, uh, you were going to show me how to rewire an intercom system?” Narci said quietly, staring.

Swag sneered.

“Too stupid to figure it out on your own?”

“No!” Narci protested. “Of course not! You just said you were going to show us some tricks.”

Swag scoffed. He was actually in a suit for once, and...carrying a cane?

Something felt wrong here. Swag wasn't just in a bad mood. He felt different somehow.

“All right, spill it. Something's wrong with you.”

“How about you go fuck yourself.” Swag growled.

“How about I don't, and you tell me what's going on?” Puzzles shot back. “What's happened to you?”

“Nothing that needs to concern you. I had a change of heart, nothing more. I'm just trying to get something done, and I am out of patience with these interruptions.”

“What are you trying to do?” Narci asked.

“None of your business. Let's just say that Gotham needs a reminder. They've grown too complacent in my absence. I've been far too frivolous. Well, I mean to remedy that mistake.”

“Wait!” Narci cut in. “I could help you! If you could use another great mind, another pair of hands. We could punish this city together!”

Puzzles glanced aside. Narci had that weird look in his eyes again. The kid just got like that sometimes, like a curious dog, he just wanted to be involved in everything. Puzzles was vaguely aware of his isolated childhood, but there was a time and a place, and this definitely wasn't it.

But Swag-well, not Swag exactly right now, more like Less Swag, Opposite Swag, UnSwag-laughed mockingly.

“You? The constant failure? You're worthless. You don't have the respect of a single member of this wankfest of a Family, and you're going to help me? More like you need me to help you look better. Get lost you over-inflated fuck suit. You too, Autism Speaks, shove off before I bury you both.”

Puzzle's lip curled as Narci drew back, obviously hurt.

“No wonder you wanted to be anything other than this. You're insufferable.”

“Oh no, the twerp doesn't like me, how will I go on with my life? Go cry to mama, and get out of my parking lot.”

The UnSwag waved his cane threateningly at them. Puzzles eyed it cautiously. A Riddler's cane could be a dangerous thing; Puzzles own had a battery powered taser just under the question mark curl, a fear toxin dart in the bottom, and a short blade that could flick out of the side. Swag's preferred arsenal while he was a Riddler was a mystery to the Family.

“Perhaps a calculated retreat is in order.” Puzzles said quietly.

“He didn't have to say it like that.” Narci muttered, but he followed Puzzles away without arguing. “That's not...That's not actually true. I don't always fail. I'm not worthless. That's not true.”

“I'm sure you'll become capable eventually if you just keep at it.” Puzzles said, ignoring the betrayed glance the boy shot him. It was true. For the most part. Not many among them genuinely liked Narci, mostly just tolerating his antics for Nash's sake. Narci did have a lot left to prove, and whining about it wouldn't fix the problem. “More importantly; what's gotten into him? He has never acted that way since I've known him. We've argued before, and I know he is capable of being unreasonable, but I've never felt actually threatened before.” Puzzles mused, Narci sulking alongside him.

“Maybe he's just had enough.” Narci grumbled. “It could happen to anyone. Even m-even him.”

“Enough of what? The man is a bottomless pit of hedonistic debauchery.”

“But he wasn't always like that, was he? He was somehow else before...before all this. Maybe he got tired of people only thinking of him in one way. Maybe he needs to remind people what he's capable of.”

“Doesn't sound right.” Puzzles said dismissively. “But strange things do happen. We should probably let him be until this passes. Come on, we still need to talk about that sapphire heist.”

“I said I was sorry!” Narci groaned. “I just misunder...I just...”

“You were just wrong, and it cost us! Now come on!”

?~?~?~?~?

Nash spotted him near a wall panel tugging at a mess of wiring. This place was probably an electrical labyrinth, though maybe not quite as bad as the small lairs and foxholes Nash typically hid out in. Nash knew the Question Mark had once been an old warehouse; refurbishing those into hotspots for the night life was pretty common in Gotham, but Swag had really gone all out. On the inside, at least, it was impossible to tell what the building had once been.

Swag turned to look at him. Was he wearing a hat? That was odd.

Overlying his mind and perceptions, Lust hissed.

Nash stepped back, wary.

Swag smiled lightly, eyes sly.

“Good instincts.” he said. “But it took you just a little too long anyway.”

“Is...is something wrong?” Nash asked. Swag shrugged.

“Not from my perspective. Did we have plans? It doesn't matter, they'll have to be canceled, just like the rest. I find myself unexpectedly busy.”

This...this was wrong. Nash could still feel Lust bristling, able to sense things Nash couldn't, but he didn't need that to know something was terribly off here. Swags clothes...well they were always bright, eye-catching, stylish in a way that was either on the edge of going out of style, or just about to come back into style. Swag lived on the edges, shaped them and was shaped by them, but this green suit, that bowler hat, it was somehow lacking in the vibrancy Swag was known for.

And had he shaved???

Was this the same Swag, or yet another Riddler from another world? Nash knew Swag had been a Riddler, but not during the time Nash had known him. Not during the time any of them had known him.

“What happened?” he asked.

“Some kind of vague being came by and we had a talk. I came to the understanding that things were simply not working out the way I'd hoped. Oh well. I gave it a try, but I couldn't deny my destiny forever.”

“A vague... a Gray? Did a Gray do this to you?”

“A Gray? Can't I make my own mind up? Oh never mind, it doesn't matter. I have things to do.”

He didn't even sound like Swag. The easy-going affectation dropped entirely in favor of a mocking, almost angry tone.

“What are you planning?” Nash asked. He eyed the wires worming out of the panel.

“Grand re-opening tonight.” Not-Swag said. “This place will be filled with the most vapid, frivolous socialites middle class Gotham has to offer. How many of them do you think will make it out?”

A deathtrap. Swag was building a deathtrap. It was wrong. That wasn't what Swag did!

“Will Swag ever come back?”

Not-Swag rolled his eyes.

“He never left. I'm Swag. He's me! Ugh, why did I ever allow anyone to call me that? Fucking ridiculous. The disrespect I allowed...well that's over now. I'm him, he's me, we're the same person. I was always here, I was just wearing a different mask. Trying a different mode of being, but it didn't work. Too fragile a concept to build a life off of. Anxiety, pointless hedonism. No direction. No, I had already found what I was meant to be, no use in denying it any longer. It's time for a comeback. Now, why don't you come over here?”

Nash could feel Lust's denial, and he didn't feel very safe either. He backed up even farther.

“I think I'm gonna go...”

“Get over here, Nash. You won't have to do much. Just be tied to a chair so the others don't keep bothering me.”

“~The doorway over there~” Lust whispered in his mind. “~The worlds are thin there. I can get us through~”

“Come here, you fucking brat!” Not-Swag lunged for him.

“~Run for it!~” Lust screeched.

Nash threw himself blindly through the doorway-

-and stumbled into an entirely different building to sprawl, disoriented, on someones kitchen floor. He heard the patter of footsteps approaching and tried to climb to his feet. They were upon him before he knew it.

“Nash? When did you get here?”

“Oh, Nash! Are you all right?”

They helped him up, arms around his thin shoulders to stabilize him. Puzzles and Narci, their concerned faces hovering close to his. He was safe.

“Swag!” he gasped. “Something's wrong with him!”

Puzzles frowned, Narci's pale eyes slid away from Nash's face.

“We know.” Puzzles said. “We had an unfortunate encounter with him earlier. He was incredibly unpleasant.”

“Don't like seeing him this way.” Narci muttered. “Feels wrong.”

The three of them lapsed into an uncomfortably contemplative silence. They were the youngest of their group, just starting out on a journey that Swag had already ended. Narci and Nash were still figuring what the persona of the Riddler meant for them, and Puzzles only had a few years of experience under his belt. Swag was an odd outlier, but he was still a respected elder by now, at least in their youthful perspective.

And yet this thing that they all wanted so desperately to grow into, felt so wrong on Swag, who actually had once been that thing.

“It was a Gray.” Nash said. “He described it to me. He thinks he's made this decision himself, but it was one of those awful things.”

Puzzles sighed in irritation. “I suspected it might be something along those lines.”

“What's a Gray?” Narci asked.

“You haven't seen them?” Nash was surprised. He thought everyone had to deal with the mischievous creatures. Narci shook his head.

“Count yourself lucky.” Puzzles said. “They're some kind of magical being-yes, I know, but they are.” he insisted at Narci's disbelieving expression.

“They don't have any faces.” Nash explained. “They're all gray all over, and they kinda look like they're made out of slime or fog. They only barely look human. They talk inside your head. They're really creepy. They cast magic on you, like curses. They can make you do stupid things, or change your shape, or...practically anything! It's like they're playing pranks.”

“But they have been known to go too far.” Puzzles said bitterly. “Cause major problems for their own entertainment. Mostly they're just annoying, but they can be downright dangerous at times. The one saving grace is that their magic is nearly always temporary. This UnSwag has an expiration date. He'll go back to normal in a day or two. We'll just avoid him until then.”

“What about his customers?” Nash asked.

“What about them?” Puzzles said. “They can go a few nights without practicing their debauchery, I'm sure.”

“But he didn't close the club!” Nash exclaimed. “He's turning it into a deathtrap!”

Narci gasped. Puzzles stared at the ceiling with an irritated groan.

“Of course he is. This couldn't be easy, oh no, no, no. Instead, he has to go and do something that will get him tossed back in Arkham after the Gray magic wears off. This is why these creatures are so insidious, Narci. Their magic is temporary, but it can have long lasting consequences.”

“What do we do?” Narci asked. His feather light voice was laced with a fear Nash had never heard him express. He understood though. They could lose one of their number over this. One of their special Family. He and Narci didn't really have many people to turn to, and Narci had only recently been getting closer to the older members of the group. A few bad run-ins with Arkham had left him shy and demoralized.

But Swag had always been friendly. Always ready with another chance, even when Narci had been rude, or awkward, or-worst of all-wrong about something. He'd shown the same welcoming face to Puzzles and Nash too, even though Nash was technically too young to be allowed into the club during business hours, and Puzzles...well in the interest of being honest, Puzzles could get pretty rude about things too sometimes. Nash thought it must be a way of protecting himself. Even so, Swag still let him in.

“Well...We're Riddlers, aren't we?” Puzzles mused. “So, we stop him. Before he can kill anybody, and before any vigilantes show up. This is our business. We'll take care of it.”

Both boys nodded, dead serious.

“Okay. Narci, you go try to find YJ. I'll talk to Arkham. Nash, I want you to get Detec-”

“No need.” Detective's voice floated up from Puzzles left arm. “I'm already here~”

Puzzles shoved up his sleeve, revealing the tiny computer strapped there.

“Did you hack my Wrist Buddy?” he exclaimed, irritated and impressed.

“Never mind that. Do let me in. We have something to discuss.”

Grumbling, Puzzles typed a code into the tiny keyboard, and the front door unlocked. Detective entered without further preamble.

They were dressed for business, in a sleek green blazer over gray shirt and slacks, a green derby hiding their vermilion hair. They were even wearing their mask! Nash had never seen that before. They looked...dangerous. Not like the mothering figure Nash had grown to know, but like the debonair villain they had once been.

Narci stared with unabashed awe. Puzzles, on the other hand, crossed his arms and leaned against the counter.

“One would almost think you knew something in advance.” he said impudently.

“I did foresee something happening.” Detective replied.

“Oh, you foresaw it? How inconvenient that you didn't see fit to clue anybody else in!”

Nash squirmed. The Detective had visions. Claimed to have visions, anyway. And while Puzzles acknowledged the otherworldly beings that Nash was friends with, and the Grays with their magic, he did not entirely accept the Detectives oracular assertions.

“I didn't see exactly what it was. You know it doesn't work that way.”

“What a helpful ability.”

“Puzzles, we don't have time for this. Let's argue about it over tea some other time.”

“Yeah.” Narci said disapprovingly. “We have to help Swag. I'll go get YJ.”

“No, dears. I saw this too. YJ is too far away, and Arkham is too curious about the outcome to involve himself. He merely wishes to observe.”

“We'll see about that.” Puzzles typed speedily on his tiny wrist keyboard. “I'll contact him myself...Oh.”

The answer he got pulled his mouth into a frown. Detective cleared their throat.

“As I was saying, I saw something important pertaining to Swag. And then I spoke to him.”

“Odious, isn't he?” Puzzles said at Detective's disgruntled expression.

“Swag made an important decision about where to go with his life, and while it may be different that what you three would do, it was his choice. That has been taken from him, by force of magic, and that cannot be allowed. We make our own fates, and we must support each other in our decisions. We will not allow him to fall. So, suit up dear children. We're staging a coup~”

“How many times do I have to tell you I am not a child?” Puzzles complained, but Nash and Narci were already dashing back to their respective universes, to gear up.

Nash didn't have much; a mismatched thrift store Sunday suit, made for someone much younger than him. A shoplifted self defense keychain he could stab with. A miniature canister of pepper spray. He also had a lockpick that he hid in his department store trilby, and a very sharp hat pin, as well as a pocket knife, a portable usb drive with a deadly computer virus, a set of jewelers tools that he used on wiring, and one of YJ's smoke bombs. Nash tied his mask-just a strip of black cloth with holes cut out-around his head, and returned through the worlds, to Puzzles apartment.

Puzzles had taken the time to gear up as well, in his coveted kelly green suit and brilliant purple gloves. The colors smashed against each other, practically glowing at the edges. The classic bowler perched on his head and sleek mask always made him look older, and Nash knew he had some wicked weaponry hidden away.

Narci didn't have many places to hide things in his form-fitting, hand painted unitard and gymnasts shoes, but Narci carried few weapons or tools. He didn't need them; Narci was actually very strong, and could hold his own well in a fight, all of which was clear by merely a look at him in this getup. Any items he needed, he kept in a slender harness that girded his waist and thighs. He said it was to keep his freedom of movement, and Nash knew he'd been training as a gymnast ever since he could walk, but Nash couldn't help but bashfully notice how the harness accentuated certain of Narci's assets. In fact, the outfit put everything on display, and with his tight black curls, and slim, diamond shaped mask that hid very little of his face, it seemed like Narci wanted to be seen.

He practically posed; shoulders back and chest out, nose proudly in the air. He was only an inch taller than Nash, but seemed much bigger next to Nash's shrinking slouch.

“Have we got everything we need?” Detective asked. All three young men nodded. “All right. You have all been to the Question Mark before. Do you know the internal layout?”

“I've been inside.” Puzzles said. “I know how both floors are laid out.”

“Me too.” Nash added.

“I've only seen the first floor.” Narci admitted.

“All right. So here's what we'll do.”

?~?~?~?~?

The crowd outside the Question Mark was thick with people and irony; scattered among clubbers finery were people sporting Riddler costumes-the gallows humor of Gotham. Everyone knew who owned this nightclub, as Swag had not just not hidden the fact, but had actively banked on it.

Puzzles slipped unnoticed into the crowd, making his way up to the front where he immediately picked a fight with the bouncer. The others used the distraction to find a way into one of the areas few surveillance blind spots.

“Do you think you can do it?” Detective asked quietly. Narci scanned the wall carefully, taking in the texture of the bricks, the decorative façade, the bars on the windows, the height of the roof.

“Yes.” he said confidently, and began to climb. Nash watched him scramble up the building, taking out security cameras and motion sensors along the way. His job was to destroy as much of the security system as possible; especially the flood lights on the roof. They didn't move again until Narci had disappeared over the top, then they sneaked along, hugging the wall, until reaching nearly the back of the building.

This area was employees only, and fenced in with tall chain link. Nash was a Gotham youth, and scaled it easily, pausing at the barbed wire coiled at the top. His jeweler's tools included a wire cutter, and after a few tries, he was able to remove a length of the barbed wire wide enough for him to pass through. Back on the asphalt, he began working on the lock. It was good quality, but nothing Nash couldn't pick. Swag was protecting against the basic Gotham punks, after all, not other Riddlers.

In the meantime, Detective had set down their briefcase and opened it, lifting out a honed woodcutter's ax, with a handle wrapped in blue leather.

“It's one of Jervis's.” They said at Nash's stare. “He insisted I bring it with me. It may prove useful after all.”

The lock clicked in Nash's hand, and he tossed it over his shoulder, letting the Detective breeze through the gate. It sucked they had to cause all this damage, but it was better than letting Swag get dragged off to jail just because some Gray thought it'd be funny.

Detective began examining the power meter, but Nash noticed movement and pulled them back around the corner. The two peeked around to see a pair of very tough looking women approach the employees entrance.

“Oh dear.” Detective whispered. “This could be bad. I've seen those two before; they're this worlds Query and Echo. Rotten luck that they'd be here tonight.”

“I'll distract them.” Nash volunteered. Detective grabbed his arm.

“You mustn't try to fight them.” they insisted. “They are very dangerous!”

“I won't.” Nash said. “Just trust me, okay?”

Detectives lips thinned out, but they let go.

Nash stuck his hands in his pockets, let his head droop and walked into the employee parking lot, kicking at a rock.

The women paused. He let just a little bit of his secret power seep out, a supernatural drug that mentally disarmed anyone who looked at him. These two would see whatever it was that would make them most sympathetic towards him.

“Hey, either of you two got two dollars I can borrow?”

“What's the matter kid?” one asked. “Fake ID didn't work out?”

“Yeah.” Nash said sullenly, petulance seeping out of his demeanor. “And my ride says she's gonna stay anyway, and I don't have any bus fare. Can't call my mom to come pick me up; I'd be grounded for a month.”

He'd slowly made his way over to them, acting exactly like a defeated teenager, and both women smiled condescendingly.

“Ha. It was a nice try kid. Here, take this and come back in a few years.”

Nash was just reaching out to take the money, mind whirring on how to continue the distraction, when the floodlights went out.

“What the fu-”

Nash whipped his hand out of his pocket and threw YJ's smoke bomb to the ground. It exploded into a miasma of choking green. Behind him, the sound of metal striking brick as Detective took the chance to shear the meter clean off the wall. The rest of the external lights went dark.

Beside him, something dropped into the cloud of smoke, landing on one of the searching women with a heavy thud. Nash flinched and threw himself through the employee entrance, hoping Narci hadn't killed her with the impact.

He skidded down the hall, hugging the walls, as the sounds of fighting faded behind him. The area was bathed in eerie green, the emergency lighting casting deep shadows.

“Lust, help me hide.” Nash whispered.

“~Of course. Relax yourself and let me embrace you~”

Nash concentrated on relaxing his body through the tickling sensation of Lusts hundreds of amorphous tendrils breaching his skin. They wrapped tightly around every inch of his body, covering him in a smoky bodysuit of shifting shadows.

Now camouflaged, he slinked down the hall and up the stairs, not entering the dance floor. He was sure it was trapped, waiting for hapless revelers to meet their makers. Maybe they deserved it, maybe they didn't; Nash didn't care about that very much, but he knew that Swag would.

He crept along the second story, the darkness itself seeming to muffle his steps. A door banged open, and Nash threw himself into the bedroom doorway, heart in his throat. UnSwag stalked by and down the stairs, grumbling angrily about the power.

Nash skittered into the newly vacated room before the door shut. It was full of darkened screens and neatly lined computer towers, their whirring hum silenced.

Swag had backup generators. Of course he would. He must have. And that's where UnSwag had to be heading. Nash readied his usb drive. The screens flickered back to life, and Nash jammed the usb in. He might only have a few moments.

Fingers flying he unleashed the malevolent little worm of code, then slipped back out into the now worryingly lit hallway. Down the stairs, towards the exit-

Snatched off his feet, and slammed headfirst into the wall. Lust took the edge off the blow, but it still rattled Nash's brain. UnSwag twisted his arm behind him, held him by his hair, and dragged him out onto the dance floor.

“Hey guys! You looking for this? You fucking looking for this?” He shook Nash hard, who squealed under the pressure on his arm. Narci, Puzzles, and the Detective all turned from their positions creeping along the walls in search of traps.

“Lust!” he hissed through gritted teeth.

“~If I do it, he will be harmed! Perhaps permanently~” the demon whispered from within him. “~I can get you free, but he might not recover~”

“Hold off then. We didn't come to kill him.”

“Stop mumbling, brat.” UnSwag growled in his ear. “Whatever code you're trying to use, it won't work. They won't do a thing while I have you. Isn't that right?”

Detective held their hands up, palms empty. Jervis's hatchet was nowhere to be seen.

“Please. There is no need to endanger the boy.” they said gently.

“He endangered himself. He didn't have to throw in with you and invade my home, but he did. He made his own choice. There are consequences for that.”

“Look, we're not trying to hurt you or anything.” Puzzles said. “We're just trying to save you from regrets.”

“Who asked you?”

“You would have, if you were in your right mind. But you are being controlled right now, by one of those gray beings-”

“Puzzles!”

“Wrong answer!” UnSwag snarled, and flung Nash out onto the trapped floor.

The others began shouting. Nash hit a pressure plate, heard it click.

Nothing.

“What.” UnSwag said. Nash rose from the floor, grinning like the devil.

“Oops.” he said. “I think I broke it. Sorry.”

UnSwag shoved his hand into his jacket. Whatever he was reaching for, he never made it. Narci hit him with freight train force, and he went down instantly. Nash winced. Narci never did pull his punches.

The acrobatic Riddler swiftly had UnSwag tied with a cord from his harness. He immediately started wiggling free, so Narci perched on his back and held him down.

“Wow. One punch.” Puzzles sneered. “You are going to be so embarrassed when you wake up.”

“I am already awake!” UnSwag insisted. “Why don't any of you see? It was all just a pipe dream! It was never real. This is who I have always been.”

“Then why is this temporary?” Puzzles asked. “Why did you have to be pushed back into it by force? You know it's temporary, don't you?”

“It doesn't matter! I am who I'll always be! No matter what mask he puts on, I'll still be here. He'll never be rid of me. And what does it matter to you anyway? Why would you go so far to stop me?”

“We are rather fond of our dear Swag~” Detective said. “And we respect the decisions he has made.”

“Why do you like me that way so much? I've made an imbecile of myself, and I'm only trying to rectify that. You three! Isn't this the life you've chosen? And you! You might have retired, but you didn't put your brain on the shelf! All I do as your precious 'Swag', is waste my time with harlots and drink to oblivion. I hate him as me. It was a mistake.”

“You don't see the value in your own choices?” Detective asked. “You've put in so much effort. Do you see what you've built? The people still dance to your tune, it's just more literal this time.”

“Don't fucking start. That shit might work on these fetuses, but not-”

Narci stroked his hair gently, and UnSwag shuddered.

“Don't touch me!”

“Swag is perfect.” Narci asserted. “In a different way from us, yes. But you are wonderful like that.”

“Bullshit. None of us actually get along.” he jutted his chin towards Puzzles. “That little bitch hates everyone. The brat over there can't be trusted. And you...” he bucked, trying to throw Narci off. “Even as that frivolous idiot, I still don't respect you. No one does.”

Narci sighed, and stroked his hair once more.

“I know. But you tolerate me, and that's important too. In time, I'll earn the rest of it. I know how to work hard to become something great. That's why I can't stand to see you like this. All that effort, taken away.”

UnSwag groaned in annoyance.

“So what about the rest of you? Any more pithy speeches before I fade back into featherbrained worthlessness?”

“Two to midnight.” Puzzles said, checking his wrist computer.

“Nothing to say.” Nash added.

“Now we simply wait.” Detective finished.

“Fine.” UnSwag said. “If that's the official consensus. Just know that if this ever happens again, you're all on the list. So nobody better ever bring me back.”

“It'll be okay.” Narci said, stroking his hair one last time. “It'll be over soon.”

“Don't touch me.” UnSwag repeated. “Just...let me sleep, I guess.”

Instead of looming over their defeated foe, Detective, Puzzles, and Nash gathered to sit on the floor next to Narci and UnSwag. He lay quietly, as they all waited together for the last moments of the past to trickle away.

Puzzles wrist computer beeped. Everyone held their breath. If they were right about the temporary nature of Gray magic...

“Hey Narci? You're a handsome young man and' all, but would you mind getting the fuck off? Kinda crushin' my ribcage here.”

Narci hopped off his back immediately. Nash reached out for the rope binding him.

“Wait!” Detective commanded. “Relief cannot be allowed to overcome caution. If you would all be so kind as to move away...”

The young Riddlers drew back.

Detective knelt next to their captive and raised him up by the shoulders. Looked into the clean shaven face, the deep blue eyes, and kissed him, long and deep.

Narci gasped, but Nash knew they were like that sometimes.

“Disgusting.” Puzzles muttered. But when they parted, Swag was smiling.

“Hell of a welcome home. Got any more for me? I'm already all tied up, after all. But we probably better send the kiddies home first.”

“It's him.” Puzzles said flatly.

Nash and Narci cheered.

They untied him, checked him for injuries-Narci had hit him pretty hard after all. Narci apologized endlessly, but Swag waved it off.

“Not like I didn't earn it.”

“Um, can you apologize to the ladies for me too? When they wake up, I mean.”

“N-Nina? And Deirdre? You took them out? By yourself?”

Narci stood straighter.

“Well, Nash dropped a smoke bomb, and I didn't really want to hurt them or anything...but yes. I did.”

Swag patted Narci on the shoulder.

“I'm impressed, kid. Now never ever do that again.”

The young Riddlers didn't stay long; technically it was illegal for Narci and Nash to be in the club during business hours, even if the Question Mark wouldn't be opening tonight. 'Electrical malfunction' they had told the disappointed crowd. But for a while after that, Detective stayed by Swag's side, comforting arm around his shoulders.

“You guys did right.” Swag said. “There's a reason I didn't want to be like that anymore. Like, yeah, that's me, and that's still swimming around inside me. Everything I did, and everything I thought and felt. That's entirely me. But this is also me. This is what I chose.” he stroked his chin. “Ugh, he shaved me. Damnit, that's gonna take weeks to grow back just right. And where are my earrings?”

He got up and began searching around for his jewelry.

“Swag.”

“Yeah?”

“If you are serious about letting go of the past...may I suggest that you actually let go?”

They gestured at the green suit Swag was still wearing. He plucked at the lapels.

“Yeah...guess I've grown out of it, huh. Doesn't fit quite right anymore. I don't know why I kept all this stuff. Contingency, I guess. But...I don't need it anymore. Tell ya what, I'll pack all this stuff up, the suit, the hat, the cane, all of that. And I'll... I dunno. Throw it in the bay. Donate it to a museum. Something like that.”

“I could help, if you like.”

“Nah...this is really somethin' I should do myself. 'Sides, you guys already helped me out plenty tonight. Guess this whole Family business is worth somethin' after all. If you can see me at my worst and still stick around...I dunno, it's giving 'hope for the future', you know?”

Detective stayed the night, just talking while Swag packed, bathed, rested. And though they did see that hope Swag spoke of peeking through as he chattered about future plans, they couldn't help but to let their mind drift to the mystery they knew hung on the horizon.

Artist: @cardwrecks

#shards of the nexus #riddler family #Swag!riddler #Narci!riddler #Nash!riddler #Puzzles!riddler #Detective!riddler #Arkham!riddler

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rassilon-imprimatur · 2 years

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Loved The Power of the Doctor 10/10, frenetic and joyful insanity that then somehow becomes a soft spoken open-ending for the entire show (barring the Tennant of course), really happy. Love how peacefully Thirteen went out, loved how open-ended and unspoken Yaz’s departure was. Loved the returns, loved the wank. 10/10. Feels really weird to say goodbye to this era.

Love so much of it is bookended by Dan’s departure? He quickly becomes an afterthought, but I dunno, his “see you later” of a goodbye after deciding to stop avoiding the stark hard work of the real world and “attack it,” it hangs over the whole thing right to he and Graham inviting Yaz to the therapy group.

The Cyber-Masters call back to the Earthshock/Five Doctors David Banks Leader and Cyber-Lieutenant/Deputy. Vain, vengeful, melodramatic, emotional sneer coming through the voice. The Time Lord gore inside still hums and whines with stolen life. I was disappointed their converted planet wasn’t actually Gallifrey, but the idea is still there? The Master’s TARDIS’ core is now the planet’s core, the Qurunx battery enough to power a forced regeneration/TV Movie Body Swap, only be possible with the Eye of Harmony (movie) or “the secrets of Gallifrey” (this episode). Dead Time Lords steering a dead world, a new Mondas, reaching as far back as the Cybermen’s first episode. Ages ago, cloth-faced surgery ghouls, now ornate necrotic royalty. Their rotting castle, their rotting world, hanging over another vestige of imperialism about to violently fall (and for no other real narrative reason other than “Wouldn’t The Daleks and Cybermen All Look Fucking Cool In The Romanov Winter Palace?”).

The Qurunx taking the form of the kid. “... shows us what we instinctively want to protect,” the Doctor says, not realizing she’s speaking mostly of herself. Timeless Child reflection. A mystery of the universe captured and exploited by empire. Etc etc. You know.

The Rasputin plot is nonsense, and that’s the point. The Master is fucking pathetic in this, pitiful. Buzzing with the Cyberium, twitching with suicide, his I CANNOT STAND COMING FROM YOU from The Timeless Children rearing up as a childish schoolboy taunt of I’M GOING TO TURN YOU INTO ME. “But then, you were a rubbish schoolboy, too” Ruth later mocks him. Tegan and Ace won’t be phased, hurling insults back, standing their ground. In a take on the Doctor/Master where the Doctor has no time for him, no patience, all burnt bridges and belittling playing along, no one in the narrative hurts for him, aches for him. He’s a nasty little wet gremlin in this, truly the most mean-spirited possible take on the worst Ainley serials with all of s12′s miserable self-hate. Him dying as Rasputin was peak humiliation. “Don’t force me to go back to being me” and then dying in a Rasputin cosplay. I dunno. Very mean-spirited “we’re fucking done with you, dude,” I like it.

Vinder’s so fucking hot. Sacha was so fucking cute in Jodie’s clothes, his short little Doctor haircut, the clip-on piercings, I couldn’t handle it.

The traitor Dalek bringing up the funniest fanwank loophole to justify its inexplicable radicalization lmao. Kaleds, Daleks, who’s truly the impure race? “Did we never rewrite that constitution?” I got way too fucking excited at the quiet nod to Davros. The ease with which the traitor was caught and exploited makes we wonder how often this actually happens within the race? Especially when’s executed by the deeper, nastier, clean commanders while clearly being a magma damaged worker, a grunt.

The TV Movie Body Swap™ verbatim, ho-lee shit, “Dress for the occasion” quip and everything. God. God. The War Games’ forced regeneration careening into it too. And then the Master Doctor, the Doctor Master, “Introducing Sacha Dhawan as the Doctor,” he just collapses under it? He’s even more sniveling and wet, piling on question marks and scarf and fanwank, blowing on Troughton’s recorder.

GOD!!!!! G O D. The robes far more like the TV Movie, the apocalyptic crossroads with telephone wire, Eight and Seven bickering. Ugh.

I’m so fucking glad I reconnected to the Davison era as hard as I did last year because Tegan and Five’s reunion HURT lmao. “Brave heart.” Loved how EU the implication of Seven and Ace “falling out” was?

Ian and Jo killed me. I like to think the empty chair at the meeting was for Sarah Jane.

#The Power of the Doctor #I've got more thoughts but here's a batch lmao

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muselixer · 10 months

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dumb things my friends and I have said: 2023!

part two: april - june apologies ahead of time for length! feel free to change pronouns if need be. warning for foul and dirty language, and capslock-implied yelling :)

“Astral projecting your spirit into a cloud with your face on it isn't a good battle strategy.”

“His circulation is immaculate. Do you KNOW how fast his heart beats?”

“Wow. I did all of that for NINETY CENTS.”

“Live from a satellite orbiting his own ego...”

“If your personality can best be described as ‘cat’, you MAY be autistic.”

“I NEED TO FOCUS, YOU NASTY BITCH.”

“Actually, I’m just gonna aim a firecracker thru their window, that should get them to stop.”

“My brain decided to live la vida loca.”

“In a WalMart? Nah, same difference.”

“It’s a little treat for me, for being a good boy while I’m home alone.”

“I’m going to Willy Wonka this child.”

“If I die soon, just know I got air-striked.”

“I just wanna feel like a bad bitch again...”

“My auditory is so not processing that.”

“He eats the WHOLE fucking chin.”

“Who needs weed when my brain is fucking broken?”

“Your voice sounds like you need chapstick.”

“You ask a lot of questions, so I’m just staring.”

“He should shut his mouth before I Matrix it away from him.”

“Can’t I platonically give my bro a bath?”

“It makes me wish our walls were fat.”

“The thing about coffins is that you don’t have to experience being inside of one.”

“I have autism because I was a pothead in middle school.”

“You’re basically hot-boxing my cooch under there.”

“No sweetheart. Lola Bunny’s father Walter Bunny did not host Family Fued.”

“That shit gave me dinosaur arms.”

“He could’ve eaten her ass and she wouldn’t have noticed him there.”

“PUT ON PANTS, SIR. ...Well, I mean, okay. In public. Put on pants, in public.”

“DALE EARNHEART IS THE TAXI DRIVER?!”

“I need to say something mean to you and I don’t wanna say it.”

“How can he be homeless? He has a 3D printer.”

“I don’t think eating ass is kosher.”

“As it turns out, eating ass is indeed kosher. If anyone even cares.”

“I get it, okay? I get it. I do. But there are better ways to look like a drug addict.”

“I hope this isn’t a symptom of something I haven’t researched heavily.”

“TEKASHI SIXNINE MAKES GAY PORN?”

“Do I look submissive and beatable to you?”

“Dude, I swear to god, your mom. No, I’m serious. Listen to me. Your mother.”

“If you weren’t my friend, I would have picked you up and thrown you.”

“Hang on.” (takes out phone to send a text) “Yeah, they said those aren’t valid pronouns.”

“Who would pass up an opportunity to eat shit?”

“I like my men PATHETIC.”

“Can you tell I’m terminally online?”

“Binge watching this show would fix me. ...That’s a lie, it would destroy me.”

“Turn me into a mouse I’m begging you.”

“Crash Bandicoot lookin’ ass.”

“I’m not a stuffy! I move and I eat fruit snacks!”

“You’re delusional and deserve to be put down like a dog.”

“Imagine having a name. Couldn’t be me.”

“Have you ever heard of boogercore?”

#rp meme #rp starter meme #sentence starters

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mothmags · 5 months

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Hi more Nashi next gen stuff because I'm supposed to be sleeping, but i simply can not

Headcannon Time!

Mainly her jewelry and spirits

part 2

Ok jewelry time!

I said this in the tags of my first nashi post, but she likes jewelry. anything gold and shiny that catches her eye.

I like to think she gets it from natsu's dragon instincts to hoard shiny stuff but we simply cannot deny that lucy is a child of the rich and (probably) lovveeessss jewelry especially high quality jewelry (me too girl)

natsu gets her little trinkets and size changing weapons that she can wear/make into jewelry when he takes long jobs

Lilly mentions in an ep that size changing weapons are hard to come by, but since they are very handy, i think they would become more popular by the time nashi hits double digits

she's made a hobby of it and stores all the stuff he gifts her that she's not currently using in a jewelry box he gave her when she was ten

the rest of her jewelry is either in storage (other less sentimental jewelry boxes) or stuff she literally never takes off / is just on her desk for easy access

She rotates most of her daily stuff every month or so to match the season but has a few staples (mainly her facial jewelry)

Most of her jewelry is gifts when the rest of the guild catches on that she likes it

it becomes her signature gift to receive from people

Odessa did her pircings - with supervision of course (this is a lie they very much did it with a safety pin in the guildhall bathroom while both sets of parents were on jobs)

Laxus caught them doing this but said nothing because he thought their parents' reaction would be funny

he was right

Natsu lost his shit and tried to fight gajeel while lucy panicked, hard

I think levy and gajeel would just be like "again????"

gajeel would find it amusing

eventually, it became a right of passage for the kids of fairy tail to get pierced by the redfox kids (more on them in another post maybe)

Now for the fun part! her spirits!

Her only gold key is leo (for now, im still debating on her second one-if she gets one at all), and he's like a big brother to her. He would be the first one called / volunteer to babysit if no one else could if natsu and lucy weren't going on a job.

they very much so have an older brother and little sister dynamic. they tease each other a lot and make a conscious effort to inconvenience the other

He watched her grow up just like the rest of lucys sprints, so him firting with her would be super weird

might be a little ooc since he seems to flirt with everyone once they are over the age of 16 but im retconing that for all of the children of his friends for obvious reasons

he flirts with almost anyone else he finds tho - still very much a ladies man

Lucy gave her his key after a nasty job that almost got nashi killed.

"mags why is lucy giving nashi one of her strongest spirits?"

im glad you asked

When nashi came back beaten, brused, unconscious, and having to use Wendys healing as a life support, natsu and lucy got super scared.

Leo was the first who offered to become her spirit - to dedicate himself to her safety at any cost

Virgo was the second with Capricorn following

After a long debate with herself and Natsu, they decided leo would be the best fit because leo is closer to nashi than the rest of the spirits are.

even if it means nerfing lucy a bit

she's one of the most powerful celestial wizards ever at this point, so she needs it fr (you have 10 gold keys girl, its time to share with the class).

Nashi has 7ish silver keys

Horologium, Polaris, Nikora, and the rest would be OCs mainly because i think making them would be fun

She has a tan and maroon striped Nikora that she calls Jupiter since one of his red stripes gets thick at one point on his side

Jupiter was her first key and was a gift from her parents for her 10th birthday

when she was 12, she gave him a little blue scarf so he could match her, and he's worn it ever since

That's enough for now. lol i have a few more things that i want to go over, but that's for another post

#ft nalu #nalu fairytail #fairy tail nalu #nalu #fairy tail headcanons #nashi dragneel #lucy heartfilia #natsu dragneel #ft loke #loke fairy tail #nalu headcanon #fairy tail #fairy tail next generation #bonk #shes my oc now

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lolotheparagon · 3 months

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Sofia the First Season 3 in a Nutshell

Cool Hand Fluke - 7/10

Finally, an episode about the mermaids that isnt shit... That is a sentence I just said.

Minimus is Missing - 10/10

Every pegasus in the kingdom has been Pied Pipered away and he mastermind behind this is revealed to be a spoilt kid wizard who really wanted a pegasus for his birthday and decided to steal every horse in the kingdom cos he can. He also gets a rock ballad villain song. Yknow, this show really surprises you sometimes.

Cedric Be Good - 9/10

After all this time, Cedric finally has the amulet by swapping it for a fake copy and goes through the five stages of grief cos he doesnt realise he stole his surrogate niece's most priced possession.

Princess Adventure Club - 1/10

Oh, a new princess who's an adventurer? Now that sounds cool! I wonder if there'll be regular adventures she'll take Sofia and the gang to- OH MY GOD AMBER CAN YOU STOP BEING A BITCH FOR 5 MINUTES?? This girl's characterisation really is the prime example of "depending on the writer"

Minding the Manor - 4/10

Aunt Tilly instructs Sofia to housesit her mansion for an afternoon whilst dealing with gargoyles. Then its revealed Tilly wants to pass onto Sofia the role of being a errand girl to everyone else's domestic problems, even though she's like 8

The Secret Library - 6/10

Okay, not a bad start to this Secret Library arc and its a good story about Minimus making amends with his free-spirited big brother. Also Cary Elwes is the villain in this, which was a delight to see. Also Merida's in this and she gives the last good advice out of all the Disney Princesses to Sofia.

New Genie on the Block - -3/10

This is the most whack shit Ive ever seen in a kids cartoon. So a genie is loose in Tangu and theres a genie patrol, who is run BY a genie and he's designed to look like an American cop for some reason and Sofia becomes a honorary deputy throughout the episode. Their flying carpets are designed to look like American police cars but we're in fucking Arabia. WHAT IS THIS DESIGN CHOICE? The kid genie that's supposed causing trouble is just doing party tricks for a group of kids but Sofia and the genie cop chasistise him anyway for breaking the rules (oh yeah there's genie rules and unlike Aladdin, there's like a bajillion of them even though this kid genie isnt even doing that much rulebreaking) and thus ends up causing more trouble. Wow, its like the actual American police. I dont know what the fuck the writers were smoking but its fucking hilarious

The Fliegel Has Landed - 1/10

Jessica DiCicco plays an mean alpha bitch fairy who's just moved next to the trolls and its up to Sofia and Cedric to teach this bully a lesson? Nice! I cant wait for them to squash this nasty bug- oh no theyre redeeming her, for fucks sake!!!

The Princess Ballet - 10/10

Kari is a wonderful side character and Sofia and Amber helping her overcome her crippling perfectionism whilst practicing ballet and hiring a special tutor to teach her in ways she can understand before the big show is super sweet. THIS. This is what Sofia the First is all about

All the Sprite Moves - -5/10

Vivian has moved into a new castle and hates it, so she enlists the help of the sprites to make the castle haunted so her family can leave. There was also a subplot where Clover gets drunk on love potion berries and obsesses over Crackle and apparently these berries are a plot device cos Sofia uses them again to drug the sprites to leave the castle. That was really weird, dont ever do that again.

Sofia in Elvenmoor - 10/10

The most kid friendly acid trip episode you'll ever get. A good lesson about being focussed on what you're doing and not getting distracted by whats around you. Also there was an adorable moment when the King tries to communicate with one of Sofia's critter friends (even though he cant understand squirrel) when he's trying to find her. He also didnt want to cut down an ancient tree when his men were constructing a road and wanted them to build around it, even before he noticed Sofia was in the tree. King Roland's environmentally friendly and thats just neat.

Stormy Lani - 1/10

They really pulled the magical native stereotype with Lani and had the gall to have a white girl teach an indigenous girl to calm her temper cos her emotions change the weather. WOW. That is Steven Universe levels of racist.

Lord of the Rink - 7/10

Huh, imagine that. A good Prince Hugo episode . This one's a flip-around from Just One of the Princes where Hugo worries his interest in a feminine sport like ice skating will cause his friends and his father to mock him and Sofia reassures him to just do the sport and not worry what others think. Nice to see theres no gender double standard in this show.

The Secret Library: Olaf and the Tale of Miss Nettle - 0/10

Once I found out Ms Nettle was getting redeemed, I skipped through the entire episode cos im so DONE with this show redeeming every villain in its path. Why cant we teach kids that sometimes people are just dicks?

Gone With the Wand - 9/10

We meet Cedric's niece, Calista, who adores her uncle as much as Sofia does. Now im entirely convinced Cedric cared for Sofia all this time cos she reminds him of Calista and I find that so sweet. They then go to Merlin's castle where Cedric goes into fanboy mode, manage to imprison an evil sorceress and have Calista learn not to steal stuff thats her favourite colour cos its still stealing. Only downside is why that evil sorceress had to be Morgana. Girl gets way too much hate in fantasy stories.

Bad Little Dragon - 7/10

Weird title aside, its a great Crackle episode where her jealousy over Vivian's new baby dragon is completely justified as the new dragon is not only an international jewel thief, but an adult dragon just with a baby body and talks like an old school gangster. This is the funniest shit

Bunny Swap - 6/10

It's a solid Clover episode where he gets his privilege checked by his doopleganger

Her Royal Spyness - -7/10

SEAL PEOPLE EXIST IN THIS WORLD.

Best In Air Show - 5/10

Minimus has an overbearing mother zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Dads and Daughters Day - 8/10

Sofia gets a similar problem like what she had in Mom's the Word, this time its with her dad. Her and Amber's class are going on a field trip with all their dads and after Hildegarde's remark about Roland not being Sofia's real dad, Sofia fears that because she doesnt have memories of previous dad and daughter trips like Amber, she doesnt believe she's truly his daughter. Cue heartfelt speech from Roland about how he'll always love her and in comes my unintelligble bawling.

Elena and the Secret of Avalor - 8/10

A Sofia the First episode tackling the destruction that imperalism causes to a nation, a new princess protagonist named Elena getting the upper hand and finally getting her crown, her family and her kingdom back from an imperalist bitch? Well, damn, I'm impressed. Although Sofia's family couldve done a lot more and the idea of a Latina princess being trapped inside an amulet that was used by white princesses really bothers me. Like, why couldnt Elena just be in forced exile thanks to the villain or have her be trapped in a magic mirror or some shit?

The Tale of the Noble Knight - 4/10

Kevin Michael Richardson plays an amazingly hammy knight. Shame he wasnt in a better episode.

The Bamboo Kite - 7/10

Nice to see the lesson of respecting both old and new technology and resources. Its just neat.

Beauty is the Beast - 9/10

This time, Sofia gets summoned to help a princess. She meets Charlotte, who's been turned into a beast as a punishment because she was racist to a goblin. Sofia tries to get the goblin and princess to get along and they end up being besties cos they both nerd out over royal stuff. Honestly, I wish Charlotte kept her beast form. Its very ugly cute.

Cauldronation Day - 2/10

Lucinda's having some witch graduation ceremony but her two new friends are both fighting over the position to be the witch of honour so Sofia tries to make them become friends, even though they clearly arent good enough friends to Lucy. Its fucking infuriating how Lucinda never puts two and two together and just makes Sofia her witch of honour and tell her friends to fuck off cos Sofia is right there being supportive.

Camp Wilderwood

Yknow that spoilt wizard kid Wendell from Minimus is Missing? That kid who stole a kingdom's pegasi cos he really wanted one instead of a magic lute? That kid who even took over a small kingdom for the evulz? Lets redeem him and have him befriended by James all because htey both hated going to a summer camp. Great, a terrible slap-dash villain redemption and a mediocre James episode. Man, this kid never gets a good episode.

Royal Vacation - 5/10

"See, parents? The best way to get your family to spend more time with each other is by forcing them to go on vacation! Even if the vacation turns out to be 90 percent a disaster. As long as you come home feeling happy at the end, that's all that matters!"

Hexley Hall - 8/10

Sofia has unlocked new amulet powers and Cedric takes her to his old wizard school to meet Billy West wizard to get more info about the amulet. I love how halfway throughout the episode, Cedric gets interested in Sofia's amulet and you'd think "oh no, is he gonna go back to stealing it again to take over Enchancia?" but thes its immediately dropped as Cedric's friendship with his pet raven suddenly becomes the focus and he goes into papa wolf mode when Sofia is threatened by Billy West wizard later on and he didnt even care about the amulet. Dont know if that was either a writing flub or an intentional twist, but I like it.

The Princess Prodigy - 10/10

Vivian gets manipulated by an evil musical baron who's preying on her musical talent to fuel his own musical magic, by isolating her from her bandmates and making her lash out at her friends, causing them to help her come to her senses and take down the baron. Cue an epic Scott Pilgrim style music magic battle between Sofia, Vivian and the others and you have an absolute baller episode.

One for the Books - 9/10

A nerdy prince named Desmond, who hasnt had a major appearance since Enchanted Science Fair, struggles with an eccentric assignment giving by the best teacher in the entire school (Seriously, I love Mr P, he's such a cool unorthodox teacher and those are the best. He reminds me of my old geography teacher when I was at school) and he's too embrassed to ask for help since he's usually the top student. A good lesson about never being afraid to ask for help and dont give magical growing food to an already magical plant. This is how you get Piranha Plants

#sofia the first

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carewyncromwell · 3 months

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"Consider yourself at home! Consider yourself one of the family! We've taken to you so strong, It's clear we're going to get along!"

~"Consider Yourself" from Oliver!

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Behold! Here I issue a prompt to fellow HPHM players -- write a post featuring at least one (1) letter either received or sent by Molly Weasley about your MC, whether one sent by or to Bill, Charlie, Percy, or another one of her kids! If you accept this challenge, please consider tagging me so I and others can learn a bit more about your kid's relationship with our favorite ginger family! ❤️💛🩵💚

x~x~x~x

Molly Weasley was a very doting mother. Although it was understandably quite difficult to pay all seven of her children equal amounts of attention, that didn't mean she didn't try very hard to be active in all of their lives or that she didn't insist that her kids who were away at Hogwarts write to her frequently. The child who was best at keeping in touch with Molly was her oldest, Bill, but after Charlie started attending school, he wrote home relatively frequently too, thanks in large part to Bill reminding him to do so.

One of Charlie's longest letters that first year ended up being one Molly kept long after the fact. At first the Weasley matriarch kept it solely for her own reference, in case she needed to write a stern letter to Albus Dumbledore herself, but she later kept it as a memento of the very first time she ever heard the name of the girl who would become her two oldest sons' closest friend.

Mum -- You'll never BELIEVE what happened at school today! I'm just about to breathe fire about it, I'm so angry!! Okay, so you remember Ben Copper, right? He's my Muggle-born dormmate, the one who's afraid of everything. Well, lately he's been getting bullied really bad by this one girl in Slytherin named Merula Snyde. I reckon she was just being nasty because the winter holidays are coming up and all of her usual bullying targets will be going home soon, but she decided to go out of her way to corner Ben in the Courtyard today, yelling all sorts of rotten stuff at him at the top of her lungs and just refusing to let him walk away. Ben told Jae, Corey, and me afterwards a bit more of what was said, since I didn't hear all of it, but Merula said Ben didn't belong here at school with "real" wizards and called him a loser and a scaredy cat who didn't belong in Gryffindor because all he does is run away! She even called him a Mudblood, Mum! Multiple times! Fortunately right around the time Jae and I showed up, someone decided to put a stop to it. Her name's Carewyn Cromwell -- she's another Slytherin in my year, but a much nicer one than Merula. (She's Jacob Cromwell's sister, do you remember him? Bill said you and Dad read about him in the Prophet a while back, right after he disappeared.) Anyhow, Carewyn went right up to Merula and told her to leave Ben alone, and when Merula used the Knockback Jinx on Ben, Carewyn helped him up and then laid Merula out right good, saying that she was the real "loser," not Ben, and calling her a pathetic, mean-spirited bully. That really made Merula mad -- I've never seen her face so purple! So Merula tried to pick a fight with Carewyn, and Carewyn tried to just walk away with Ben, only for Merula to attack Carewyn from behind! She knocked her down face-first into the ground, with no warning! It was just dirty, Mum! But Carewyn, she was so cool, she just took some Wiggenweld Potion out of her sweater, drank enough to heal herself, and then chucked the bottle right at Merula's head like she was at the Dueling Club! (It missed, but it still gave Merula a good scare!) Then when Merula tried to attack her again, Carewyn dodged her spell and took her out with a single Disarming Charm! It was so cool! Oh, but here's what made me mad, Mum -- afterward, Professor Snape took FIFTY POINTS away from both Carewyn and Merula for "causing a scene" and said that he'd send them both along to Dumbledore for further punishment! Yeah! When it was OBVIOUSLY all Merula's doing and Carewyn was only defending herself and Ben! I checked on Ben afterward, and he looked close to tears. He's terrified that Carewyn's going to be expelled, all because she was trying to protect him. I told him no way Dumbledore would do that, but Snape was so furious, I wouldn't put it past him to lie through his ugly yellow teeth about the whole thing and get Carewyn expelled anyway! I know that's what he really wants -- everyone knows Snape hates Carewyn because of what her brother did, even though she honestly seems like a pretty cool person and a really good friend! Dumbledore won't be back until tomorrow, but I'm going to go up to his office as soon as he's back and tell him all about what happened -- there's no way he can expel Carewyn for what she did! She was brave and in the right, and she should've won points for standing up for Ben, instead of losing any! She would've, if she'd been in Gryffindor! It's not fair!! I'll write again after talking to Dumbledore...he'd better not listen to a word Snape says!! Love to you, Dad, and PFGRG -- Charlie

Fortunately Carewyn was not punished further, so Molly never had to send that additional letter to Dumbledore she'd been considering. She ended up revisiting this old letter of Charlie's again, though, when that following winter, Bill sent her another letter.

Dear Mum, The holidays are finally here! Hagrid brought in the Christmas tree yesterday, and now Flitwick is setting about trimming it with magical icicles. Still not as great as our tree at home, though -- I can't wait to get home and help you and Dad decorate it... Charlie and I are doing fine. Charlie's been kept busy with Quidditch practice; I would've thought with him only just having joined the team, the captain might take it a little easier on him -- you know, give him time to get settled and learn the ropes -- but I guess the Quidditch scene is really fast-paced. Charlie even said that they can't afford to coddle him too much, since Gryffindor's next match will be immediately after winter break. As for me, I'm keeping my grades up and earning house points as best I can. Madame Pince gave me ten points the other day for helping some first-years with their Transfiguration homework in the library, and later in the week, McGonagall gave me ten more for it herself! Do you remember Carewyn Cromwell? She's Jacob Cromwell's sister, and a Slytherin in Charlie's year. She came up to talk to me the other day on the Training Grounds and asked me for help with the Fire-Making Spell. She seems like a pretty nice girl! I'm really glad she seems okay after what happened to her brother, but I can tell she really misses him -- I kind of thought she'd have to, when I first heard about it, but I'm glad she doesn't seem to resent him at all. She says that she and Jacob were really close -- apparently it was only ever just them and their mum, since Carewyn's dad left when she was really little -- so I can't imagine Jacob would've left his family on purpose. I really hope Carewyn's able to find out what happened to him. And I hope at some point I'll get to introduce her to you and Dad too! Carewyn grew up largely in the Muggle World since her dad was a Muggle, so she knows a lot about Muggle stuff -- she was telling me about some of her favorite Muggle musicians the other day, and she suggested that you might like a Muggle named Barbra Streisand, since you like Celestina Warbeck. She also said that if Dad's interested in learning more about Muggles, she could put him in touch with her mum -- she's a Magical Historian, but she's also pretty good with Muggle history too. Oh yeah, I almost forgot -- Carewyn's mad good at dueling. I challenged her to a friendly one, just to help gauge her level and maybe give her some pointers, and she not only dodged all my spells, but took me out with a Disarming Charm so strong she knocked me right off my feet! Sure, maybe I was a little worried about going too hard on her, but I was NOT expecting that! It's a good thing that we get on -- I would not like to be on the wrong side of her! I love you all so much! Give Ron and Ginny extra big hugs for me. Charlie and I will touch base again before we set off for home next week. See you soon! Bill

Molly would soon read quite a few more letters from both Bill and Charlie that mentioned Carewyn (or "Carey," as they soon took to calling her). Once Charlie started his third year, he became closer friends with Carewyn through Quidditch friendlies, so he often brought Carewyn up whenever he wrote anything about Hogwarts's Quidditch Cup.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot -- Carey's hoping to go out for the Slytherin team! One of Slytherin's Chasers got knocked off her broom by Erika Rath during a not-so-friendly friendly match against Ravenclaw's team, and she's so bad-off she probably won't be healed in time for the match against Hufflepuff, so Carey reached out to Slytherin's Star Chaser Skye Parkin, and now Parkin's helping her train for an upcoming tryout! I don't think Carey's as excited about a Parkin training her as I would be, but she said she's grateful for her help. She said she prefers training with me and Andre, though, since we don't make her try to mount any jinxed brooms!!

Meanwhile Bill's letters would express much more concern for Carewyn's emotional well-being, not unlike how he wrote about Charlie.

The Slytherin VS Hufflepuff Quidditch match is set for Friday. I've been worried about Carey -- there's a rumor going around school that she had a meltdown after one of Slytherin's practices, which is very out of character for her. Carey's much more the type to try to put on a brave face and not let anyone see she's scared or hurting. Even so, Carey has been very quiet this entire week...even if she says she's fine, I can tell something's bothering her. I've been trying to walk with her in the halls more, to keep any more obnoxious Hufflepuffs off her back.

Charlie and Bill's letters' subject matter and tone overlapped in December 1986. When Carewyn's mother, Lane Cromwell, was forced to spend the winter holidays abroad away from her daughter, both Weasley boys were beside themselves.

Speaking of Carey, Mum, you won't believe this -- Carey's mum is stuck out of the country on this trip for the Ministry, doing research on house elf history, and now Carey's going to have to stay stuck at school for the holidays! She's trying to act like she's not upset about it, but I don't see how she can't be! Carey loves Christmas! She's been singing carols all season...

It's the most outrageous thing, Mum. I know the Ministry of Magic's assignment is important, and I know it's an important opportunity for Carey's mother...but Carey's family isn't big like ours. Carey told me as far back as she can remember, it was always just her, Jacob, and her mum, even before her dad left. With Jacob missing, her mum is all Carey has. I know they're close, and I know being apart from her mother is hard for her -- from what Rowan's told me, Carey's mum has so much difficulty being around people that Carey and Jacob used to stay at home with her rather than try to make any friends when they were kids, just to keep her company. To be apart from her mum during Christmas, of all times...I know it has to be just eating Carey up inside, Mum. Even Merula (who I still think is upset about spending the holidays alone) is doing better because I doubt she's expecting any kind of special gathering for Christmas. Knowing Carey, she's probably been silently looking forward to spending Christmas with her mother all year. And now she's left silently mourning the fact that she won't.

Molly herself even ended up expressing quite a bit of upset in her own letters back to Charlie and Bill --

What a poor, sweet girl! You're absolutely right, Charlie, she most certainly can't be okay, under such circumstances! You tell your brother to find a way to bring her on back here to the Burrow, if he can...

Bill -- bring Carewyn back to the Burrow with you. Your father and I want her here with us. Merula Snyde too, if you can -- the poor thing shouldn't have to spend a holiday alone either.

That Christmas ended up being when Molly and Arthur first met Carewyn, and they both liked her at once. Not only did Carewyn get on very well with Bill and Charlie, but she was a very polite guest who readily volunteered to help with chores and had a faint "Mama Bear" quality that could remind anyone a bit of Molly. Arthur couldn't help but tease his wife just a little about it. @department-shoe-stud

"Red hair, short stature, mothering...Molly dear, did we have another daughter and I just never noticed?"

Not that Molly would've minded. That Christmas pretty much solidified her thought process that Carewyn would make a perfect Weasley, if either Bill or Charlie ever decided to pursue her romantically. (They never did.)

One thing Bill conveniently neglected to tell Molly about was how Carewyn and he had become friends largely because they'd teamed up to deal with the Cursed Vaults. Bill did acknowledge the curses unleashed on the school by the Cursed Vaults now and again in his letters home, since he knew Charlie had already written to their parents about them beforehand, but he didn't tell Molly that Carewyn and he had broken the curses on the Ice, Fear, and Forest Vaults with help from some of Carewyn's other friends. And Bill's reasoning proved to be rather sound, because as it turned out, when Molly eventually found out the summer before his seventh year, she was not happy. It was just about the only time Bill's siblings could remember Molly ever having shouted at him.

"William...Arthur...Weasley...have you gone COMPLETELY 'round the bend?! Abusing your Prefect powers -- sneaking into forbidden areas of the school -- aggravating curses that the professors themselves have struggled to get a hold of -- and all while dragging both Carewyn and Charlie along after you, when they haven't even PASSED THEIR OWLS YET?! You are grounded for the rest of the summer for a START, William Weasley, AND IF YOU OR CAREWYN EVEN THINK OF GOING AFTER ANOTHER CURSED VAULT, I'LL GROUND YOU EVEN AFTER YOUR GRADUATION!"

Bill didn't listen to his mother. But in his defense, Carewyn was going to do anything if it meant saving her brother Jacob, and there was no way Bill was going to let her run into that kind of danger alone. And neither was Charlie, when he ended up in the position to help found the Circle of Khanna with Carewyn, Bill, Merula, and Ben to avenge the death of their fallen friend, Rowan Khanna.

Fortunately, after the Cursed Vaults were dealt with and R was defeated, Molly slowly cooled off about the whole affair. However displeased she was that her sons had engaged in something so dangerous, she was ultimately very proud of how brave they both had been. That doesn't mean Molly wasn't still a bit sad neither of them pursued Ministry work like Carewyn did. If nothing else, if Charlie was at the Ministry too, maybe he would have more of a chance to spend "alone time" with Carewyn and something more romantic could bloom! Or so Molly thought. This is why she was incredibly surprised when after the Second Wizarding War, Bill sent along this letter --

In other news, Carey has actually started dating! I'm surprised too. His name is Orion Amari -- I'm sure Fred, George, Ron, and Ginny have heard of him, since he's a Chaser for the Montrose Magpies, but he was Captain of the Slytherin Quidditch team in those two matches Carey played in, back at school. I don't remember him that well aside from that, but I followed up with some old friends from school who remember him and they've all spoken well of him. I also broached the topic with Carey, and even though she was understated as always, she really wants me to meet him. I think she really likes him a lot.

To say Molly wasn't disappointed to learn Carewyn would not be marrying Charlie would be untrue. When Molly met Orion herself at the after-party for his and Carewyn's partnership ceremony, however, she had to admit, Carewyn looked so very happy in Orion's company. And well, being the OG Mama Bear, that's all Molly Weasley could really want for Bill and Charlie's best friend.

She did add a very pointed little postscript to a letter she sent along to Carewyn's mother Lane in December, though.

P.S. Thank you for the advice about Muggle dragon books. I may be eternally disappointed that Charlie never took the plunge with your dear Carewyn, but Arthur and I still want to get him a birthday gift nobody else would think of getting him.

#hphm #hogwarts mystery #my writing #molly weasley #bill weasley #charlie weasley #carewyn cromwell #ben copper #merula snyde #jae kim #orion amari #jacob cromwell #lane cromwell #albus dumbledore #severus snape

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