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#but rn it looks even worse than it was before
queerstudiesnatural · 9 months
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i am so. exhausted. i can't function
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skitskatdacat63 · 5 months
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Hey, do you remember that really homoerotic scene from Skyfall? No? That's okay, here's a Vettonso version of it :)
- explanation & w/o text:
Hi hello, finally my weird psychosexual relationship with Casino Royale has come to fruition. Yeah this is directly based off a scene from Skyfall, but I def envision the vibe as being more like Casino Royale hehe. I can't believe I made that inspo board for this AU almost 4 weeks ago, and then ended up drawing a four panel "comic" about it. Ahhhh proud of myself, a bit, a tad. I think this took 20+ hours across the span of a week? God. Anyways I digress! The AU!!
First of all, their Bond song would be "My Way of Life" by Frank Sinatra. It's so toxic, codependent and obsessive, I'm in love with it. And it really suits Fernando and his motivations and outlook in this AU. Basically, MI6(in the context of James Bond) in this AU is an analog for Ferrari. It picks theses guys up, tells them that they're Ferrari MI6's most special boy, chews them up, and then spits them out when they're finished extracting all their talent and skill and life force.
Much like with Ferrari, Seb in this AU replaces Fernando after Fernando loses favor and becomes undesirable. Now Seb is the new golden boy, and Fernando has turned to a life of crime! Fernando resents Seb for this of course, but also becomes obsessed with him and the idea of him , and how they are connected. It's weird to watch someone else basically go down your exact same path and unknowingly make all the same mistakes(buying into the mysticism of it all too much, being overly cocky, having naive beliefs and goals, etc.) He is caught between wanting to doom Seb even more but also wanting to "save" him, by corrupting him and convincing him to work together.
Basically: He's both a Bond girl and Bond villain.
Fernando is in such a weird place in this AU. I think he's just very dramatic. Seb is just casually living his best 007(005?) life, and Nando is watching him with binoculars, whispering to himself: "DOESN'T HE UNDERSTAND THAT WE ARE NARRATIVE FOILS!?" Yeah he hates Seb, but like the song lyrics say, their lives and dreams are inherently tied up together. He would feel lost without Seb, because Seb basically, unknowingly, destroyed and then took over his life. Maybe he'll feel satisifed if he manipulates Seb into going down the exact same path a bit better.
About the drawings themselves. Still can't believe this scene is a real thing that actually happened, insane to me. But in this AU, after the events of these drawings, Fernando definitely kicked all his henchman out of the room, and fucked Seb in the chair. And then against the wall. And then on the floor. Hey man, Seb is already looking mighty delicious with his unbuttoned attire and being tied up.
I think the general plot would be that Fernando keeps trying to seduce him to the dark side, and Seb keeps making him think it worked, only to escape at the end of the encounter. Leading Fernando to just come up with increasingly more violent and kinky traps. Seb goes along with it(read: enjoys it), leaving Fernando satisifed, only to somehow escape and wink and make kissy faces at Fernando in the process. (Fernando smoking cigarette in bed: "How do I make him stay. Sigh.")
I like to think though that Fernando does win in the end, by realizing, ah wait shit I do need to actually explain my motivations to Seb. And Seb is so worn down by his job, not Fernando, and how he's being treated, that he listens, really actually listens, and realizes Fernando does really have valid reasons. And then they become evil crime husbands yayyyy. Wow you thought this was a espionage AU? Well it is, but just not the outcome you'd expect.
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#ah well this was certainly a project....#rn i feel like im devolving into illness so im glad i could finish this up before it possibly gets worse#this is my magnum opus as of rn. just bcs ive not really drawn such a longform thing for them!! happy w it :)#i think i def like the first one the best#it made me suffer so bad but i think i soften on my own art after a few days#like i finish it and know its 'good' but cant help but critique every little thing#but ive had that one done for almost a week so now i look at it and really love it#i was originally just going to draw that one only but then realized i really like the full dialog so. might as well.#generally i liked this though bcs even if it ws difficult. it was nice to have really direct and clear reference#like ah ik where im going w this rather than it being an image in my head that i cant represent the way that I want#ah anyways all my vettonso aus tend to be just wanting to explore specific dynamics of theirs#and this one is basically how i feel about their mutual relationship to the institution of ferrari and how it affects their dynamic#basically: THEY'RE MIRRORS!!!#there's always something to be said abt nando being resentful abt seb bcs of 2010/2012/etc and then seb taking his seat at ferrari#but then witnessing seb basically go thru the same trials and tribulations and failures at ferrari#and realizing huh wait maybe he's not who i was villianizing him as. maybe hes at my level too. maybe he's not infallible. maybe hes like m#a very bitter nando who has to fight btwn his impulse to ruin seb further or to relate to him and start to like him#so yeah that's ^ basically what i want to portray in this au(just like all AUs tbh)#f1#formula 1#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#catie.rambling.txt#catie.art.#vettonso#bond au
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mrs-theirin · 4 months
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i am going. to throw up
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meowmeowmessi · 1 year
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Honestly, as much as well talk about it, I kinda don't seen City as an option just becauss they've built their team over the last 2 years, including ofc Grealish who also plays as a 10 and is a starter, and it doesn't feel like they'd want to make any big transfers now. But still I guess we will see in the transfer window for sure, both for City's squad and Messi's decision.
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appreciate the reality check, anons 🥲 it's all on leo and whether he believes in whatever "sports project" nonsense pissg is feeding him atp. i seriously doubt he's going to stay in the tinpot club for much longer (dear god let this not be a jinx), but considering barça's financial situation rn, not to mention tebas,,, i really don't think it's a feasible option. and i don't want it to be, either :// not at this moment, anyway. so yes, we can only wait and see what happens in the next transfer window. i'm not too worried about his options tbh— it's fucking messi, not just any random player: all it takes is the news "he is wants to leave" to break out just like the burofax in 2020 and he'll have clubs lining up at his doorstep
#also i've heard grealish has been flopping lately?#saw some ppl on city twt saying they wouldn't mind messi in their squad in place of grealish that got me going HMMM fjdkfj#jokes aside tho. if he leaves pissg and barça can't sign him then i don't see him going anywhere other than city#bc messi enjoys familiarity. he has juli and pep over there. not to mention city was an actual option he was considering back in 2020#i'd love to see him in napoli too but they're broke so 🥲#but i really really don't want barça for him rn. administrative and political issues with la liga aside#the way true coolers are moving rn#coupled with PLAYERS saying they hope messi comes back and helps them win the ucl#it's not looking good bruv. hate to burst the bubble but the current squad is only good enough to win the league#there's still a long way to go if they want to conquer europe. and this isn't 2018/19 messi anymore#who can singlehandedly drag them to the ucl semis#if messi comes back and they flop he'll be made the scapegoat. and it'll be so much worse#i understand there's the romantic inside all of us that thinks messi can definitely help the club of his life win the ucl#bc he's the main character of football and a real life mary sue#but listen. even cinderella's magic runs out when the clock strikes midnight#some things are just impossible#and im tired of seeing messi taking the blame for everything. i can take french media throwing stones at him bc they're pests anyway#but i don't want him to get hurt by the club of his life. that'd be too much for me to bear#at the end of the day it's his decision but yeah. city or napoli for me. barça can be his pit stop right before he r words#i have a lot of feelings regarding this sorry ://#asks
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i feel like a fucking failure for not going to school
idk theres a huge difference when i miss school bc i want to (when i first started skipping) or if i have an appointment
and when i have no choice (not being able to get out of bed, transport, anxiety)
and lately i seem to be experiencing the latter so i cant even let myself rest bc the guilt is eating me alive
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mars-ipan · 11 months
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having anxiety sucks so bad when you might have a slight medical problem
#marzi speaks#am i being a hypochondriac or should i get checked#i don’t know !!!#if i look it up it will tell me i’m dying. it does this every time and it never helps#if ur curious i’m worried abt my nose. i got that nasty head cold abt a month or so ago#and my sinuses (while much better) are still worse than average#and even when i leave them alone to the best of my ability i’m really prone to runny and/or bloody noses rn#which is Not normal for me. i don’t get runny noses i don’t get bloody noses#i woke up this morning with a nosebleed. bizarre#that being said i know it’s scabbing over. but i am impulsive and keep scratching my nose#which is probably dislodging the scab. that or i blow my nose too hard#but what am i meant to do when i’m so congested that i can’t breathe through my nose????#i can mouth breathe sure but it’s not exactly pleasant#not to mention the sinus pain that causes#idk. am i worrying too much am i fine do i need my nose cauterized do i have a bacterial infection heading to my brain WHO KNOWS#ok i’m definitely getting paranoid. i’m not sick anymore and it wasn’t bacterial bc i didn’t need antibiotics#my mom caught a similar cold this week n i’m just a little worried#but that honestly probably means it’s not a huge deal! just a really weird strain of the common cold that focuses hard on the nose. yeah#ooooohkay i’m gonna distract myself before this paranoia gets worse#doom spiraling’s such a bitch. hate that thing#oh i should take my allergy meds tomorrow. forgot today#ok that helps actually. like i still don’t normally need allergy meds but still#been craving juice a lot too. mayb i’m low on vitamin c
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allpromarlo · 2 years
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it's a miracle how burrow isn't a pile of skin and bones by now bc this man gets sacked every other drive
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computer-boy · 1 year
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a few more days until i can bundle up in bed for two days and not do anything (finally)
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snowshinobi · 1 year
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still not over the time i told a recent friend (now recent bf) i liked his shirt (pale blue-grey polo w narrow white horizontal stripes, compliments his fluffy light brown hair + hazel eyes) and several lunch walks later he said he can’t remember the last time someone complimented him on his outfit. i think my heart audibly cracked
#where to even start with this like.#HE LOOKS GOOD. FREQUENTLY.#he matches the accent colors of his band tees to his pants and/or shoes. my fave combo rn is#the black The Who tee (white and red lettering on both sides) + cream shorts + black sneakers w red accents#he does the accent matching thing subconsciously btw. i pointed out ''your sneaks match the shirt that's cool'' he was like ''oh they do''#no one ever said anything huh#my understanding is dudes are hesitant to compliment other dudes bc they fear being called gay for it. classic homophobia making life worse#first and foremost for gay ppl but also for the straights#and women are hesitant to compliment dudes bc they worry he'll take it as flirting. classic heteronormative#''women and men can't be just friends'' + ''she asked for it'' garbage making life worse first and foremost for women but also for men#and yeah also all genders of trans and/or enby folks may be hesitant to compliment guys bc they fear being hatecrimed. can ya blame em??#look at the fucking statistics#on the one hand not being constantly judged for their presentation is a win for men. i love the compliments but it's also unnerving how#ready ppl are to appraise my appearance#that said it sucks that men getting pos attention for looking nice on the daily is so rare#all that suit hype yet no love for subtle accent matching. sweet kicks. a good sturdy jacket. FLANNELS#also would it kill us to tell guys their facial hair looks good? multiple guys ive dated have asked my opinion on their facial hair choices#before stating what their preference is. i'd get asking out of curiosity or wanting to know how it affects the kissing texture#but dude. man. my guy. people who love you will kiss you anyway even if it's a lil fuzzier than they prefer.#what's important is you like it#idk how to condense all this into occasional normal compliments anymore i just tell#bunny boy#his hair is pretty and his taste in band Ts fucks and spend 30 seconds curling and uncurling his fingers bc his hands are nice#sigh#snowswords
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oflgtfol · 1 month
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ok nvm being online and seeing photos of the eclipse is making me upset i missed jt bc of the stupid clouds so im just gonna get offline
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vaguelydefinedshapes · 3 months
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genuinely cannot believe im scheduled for a 10hr shift today. im going to fcking lose it
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gumioe · 4 months
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not to be your typical vitamin and dietary supplement obsessed korean but magnesium and melatonin gummies completely fixed me i think
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helianthologies · 6 months
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thought i had enough money to upgrade my laptop storage but turns out the service fee is 200 fucking dollars so i have to wait til christmas 👍 yayyyyy im not frustrated abt this at all yippee!!!
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youraveragemushroom · 8 months
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</3
#pro tip#do not use online recommended tips for controlling your anxiety#they told me to read a fucking poem i liked to get my mind off shit#and now im breathing wrong and crying and shaking and clammy for two reasons#it wasnt even a sad poem or anything it is one thats always brought me joy#but like thats the thing about depression its gonna make you not enjoy the things you love#and you forget how to love them because it takes your memories your thoughts it takes everything#and iky im like this its anxiety its depression its a (open) secret third thing thats worse than both combined#and i cant will it away with a lovely poem at least not this one maybe but every pretty word i can think of rn#they taste acrid its burning my throat it feels like the worst heart burn yet because it feels like my heart is on fire#and the smoke is suffocating me from the inside out#and im screaming im screaming but no noise is coming out the soot is choking me the ashes are all that’ll be left#i wonder if i’ll be exhausted extinguished still existing by the end of this#because i have to believe theres an end even tho i cant see it rn#its like god in a sense because i have to have faith in the ever unknown#but i have a shitty relationship with religion with devotion specifically#i cant like myself much less want better for her#i miss the person i was before#i see pictures and i looked happy and i was bigger but i miss her#every year i mourn the person i was and the person i couldve been and i hope the best for who i might be but i dont have any hope myself#anyway wake me up when september ends please i need to put this month behind me#more than that im a coward and i was raised in a nonconfrontational household that never resolves issues just#spend three days being weird and moody w each other and then pretending like it never happened#i was set up w the generational trauma and homosexuality like pick a struggle god said no <3
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norrizzandpia · 8 months
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The Softest Launch (LN4)
Summary: He tried to be secret, but the eyes never lie.
Warnings: NOTHINGGGG language tho
Note: it was lance’s launch that sent me into this spiral
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landonorris it was a good race ❤️
Comments:
mclarenfan22 YO WHO TF IS HE LOOKIN AT
- oscarandlando4ever carlos?
- mclarenfan22 idk abt that one girl
Lando-my-love i refuse to believe he has a girlfriend
- ln4andop81 the red heart is saying something else
oscarpiastri congrats on the podium man!
- mclarennnn what do you know.
- mclarensgirl oscar. spill it.
——
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landonorris fun day on the karting track! 🏎️
Comments:
ln4andop81 MAX IS IN ITALY WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND AND OSCAR IS OFF DOING PR IN LONDON WHO TF IS THIS.
- oscarandlando4ever we cant even fall back on carlos bc he is with charles at ferrari hq in italy as well
- Lando-my-love guys… i fear this is a soft launch
- mclarenfan22 DONT SAY THAT.
oscarpiastri tell her i said hi!
- mclarensgirlll HER????? PASTRY TELL US WHATS GOING ON
- landonorris will do!!
- mclarennn if this is his soft launch, i. will. cry.
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lando.jpg she’s learning 💋
Comments:
mclarennn WHO?????
ln4andop81 I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE
danielricciardo i still can’t believe you let her handle your camera
- landonorris ive given her other things that are delicate too
- danielricciardo shes made you a ball of mush
- landonorris a ball of love
- mclarensgirlll i have never been speechless before until rn
- mclarenfan22 GIVEN HER OTHER THINGS THAT ARE DELICATE TOO???? AS IN HIS HEART???? IM SLEEPING ON THE HIGHWAY ALREADY AND HE HASNT EVEN OFFICIALLY ANNOUNCED IT YET 😭😭😭
oscarandlando4ever hes soft launching her so well and so gently i cant im crying you can tell this one is different i think hes in love guys
Liked by landonorris
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maxverstappen 📸 creds -> lando’s “friend”
Comments:
landonorris i said say friend not “friend” ‼️
- mclarensgirlll BYE MAX IS TRYING TO HELP US OUT
- maxverstappen i think the soft launch is over mate
- ln4andop81 PLZ LET IT BE OMFG MY BRAIN CANT HANDLE IT ANYMORE
kellypicquet and lando said she was bad at taking pics 💀
- ynnnn idek where he got that from i literally have taken his insta pics for years
- Lando-my-love WHO IS ynnnn IS THAT HER???
- mclarenfan22 her account is priv but I THINK IT IS ALSO YEARS???? SHES BEEN TAKING HIS PICS FOR YEARS????
- oscarandlando4ever BRUH IF WE MISSED THIS RELATIONSHIP THIS WHOLE TIME IM THROWING MYSELF IN A WALL
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landonorris I’m going to try and keep this as brief as possible because Y/n is incredibly special to me and I would like to keep the best parts of her to myself, but, yes, I do have a girlfriend. As you can probably gather, her name is Y/n and she’s been my lifeline for the past 5 years. I know this picture doesn’t really do justice to how she looks or how we are as a couple, but I’ve found that I would like to keep it that way. She’s someone I hold very close to my heart and keeping the quiet, intimate moments just for us is a high priority for me. All I ask from all of you is that you treat her with the kindness she deserves and don’t bombard her on social media. I’ve kept her away from the spotlight for a long time and have only made her presence known because keeping her a secret seemed worse than letting the F1 world into that part of my life. I’m glad you’ve gotten to meet my love. I plan on spending the rest of my life with her. Xx
Comments have been disabled on this post.
——
TWITTER
mclarensgirlll YALL SEEN THE INTERVIEW WITH LANDO????????? BRO IM CRYING HES SO CUTE
- ln4andop81 reporter: “were you nervous to let everyone know about her?” Lando: “well, the drivers, my friends, and family all knew i had met someone because apparently, according to them, i had a different look in my eyes. So, announcing it to them wasnt that nerve racking because they already knew, but, to the public, yeah, I was nervous. More nervous than she was.” Reporter: “so she was nervous?” Lando: “only because she thought no one was going to like her which is and was absurd. She’s the greatest human being I’ve ever met. There’s genuinely no scenario I could think of that someone would end up even slightly disliking her.” BRO.
- Lando-my-love AND THE WAY HE TALKED ABT FIRST SEEING HER 😫😫 “it was like my eyes were glued to her. I guess i was just so in shock someone could be that beautiful and, sometimes, i still am.”
- mclarenfan22 DONT GET ME STARTED ON HIS PROTECTION OF HER BYE “well, she’s just so perfect to me. The world I live in can be ruthless and unfair and messy, all the things she isn’t. I love her that way. I love her for that. She’s my quiet place I can go to when my job and lifestyle get to be too much. She’s like a time out and we both agreed we want to keep it that way.”
- oscarandlando4ever PLZ THE WAY OSCAR EXPOSED HIM TOO “when she’s around, Lando is so much more tolerable. She can calm him in a way I have never seen before. In fact, the engineers and I all agreed around a year ago that she needed to start coming to races because he was always a hot head if it didn’t go well. When we found a way to sneak her in and she did start attending events, he actually started to breathe if things didn’t go his way.”
- mclarensgirlll AND THEN THE WAY LANDO ENDED THE INTERVIEW WITH “But anyways, i could talk about her for hours, something i told myself i wouldn’t do. I’m in love with her and I just hope people understand we want to be left alone for a while. Just until we get married.” CRYING BC I THINK HES RLLY OFF THE MARKET THIS TIME
- oscarpiastri i know all of you want me to “spill” but really all i can tell you is that, yes, norizz officially rizzed his perfect girl and, yes, he is really off the market this time.
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u3pxx · 2 months
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KIM KITSURAGI - “Is that. My kineema.”
COMPOSURE [Medium: Success] - Something in him is about to break, *big time*.
EMPATHY - And it’s not going to be pretty, do something!
- DRAMA [Formidable] - Everything is fine!
- “Sure is.”
DRAMA [Formidable: Failure] - Surely he’s aware that he’s not the *only* person in the world who owns a Kineema?
YOU - “Is it really *yours*? I mean, plenty of people have their own Kineemas, right? Like working men, government offices, uh, firefighters I guess, maybe even animal control people? Exactly! A million different people who could’ve driven it into the uh…”
DRAMA - Pause, my liege! Ixnay on the Ineemakay!
YOU - “It could even be our *mysterious* joyrider!”
KIM KITSURAGI - Your frenzied babbling falls deaf to the lieutenant's ears. Instead, he approaches the broken vehicle, sunken in the ice. He moves with a caution and gentleness you haven’t seen him display before.
INLAND EMPIRE - It must be cold and lonely down there, in the icy water. Maybe he could sense its sorrow, calling to him…
PERCEPTION (SIGHT) [Easy: Success] - His hands, which are always stiffly placed behind his back, are trembling.
ENDURANCE - This is the shuffle of a tired, tired man.
HALF LIGHT - He’s going to do something drastic because of you. Oh god, terrible! You’re a terrible liar! You can’t look at this, you just can’t!
VOLITION [Formidable: Success] - It's not *you* who drove his kineema into the sea. You have plenty of faults, but this one is decidedly not yours.
KIM KITSURAGI - He kneels down with his head bowed, casting his face in shadow. He plants a hand on the ice to stabilize himself, squinting to get a better view of the motor carriage. “Detective, it says ‘57’ on it.”
YOU - Sweat drips down your brow, and you feel a terrible headache coming. “Maybe our joyrider has an affinity for that number?”
LOGIC - He's not stupid, he knows that it's not that.
KIM KITSURAGI - “57.”
YOU - “What about 57?”, you brace yourself.
KIM KITSURAGI - “Precinct 57.”
YOU - You wince. “Kim, look-”
KIM KITSURAGI - “When I woke up in the Whirling-in-Rags with no memory of what happened during the days before, I've taken note that something of mine has gone missing.” He grits his teeth. "A very. Important. Something."
He runs his hands over his face, messing his already unkempt hair in the process. Regret creeps up on his features. “God. Fuck. They’re going to fire me over this, they’re not going to hear me out.”
EMPATHY - Desperation settles in the lieutenant's tone. Sadly, you find yourself in agreement, even if you don’t want it to be the truth.
YOU - “People are more valuable than machines, Kim.”
KIM KITSURAGI - “Not people like me.” He rasps.
YOU - “…”
KIM KITSURAGI - Before you can say anything more, you fail to notice the lieutenant carefully walking onto the edge of the ice. He looks over the frigid water, a dizzying blue that mirrors and distorts his exhausted face back to him.
YOU - “Kim?”
KIM KITSURAGI - Seconds pass as he looks to be contemplating something. Out of nowhere, he casually takes another step where the ice ends and the sea begins. It happens all too quick for the lieutenant to even voice a call for help— if he even wanted to — his body plunging into the cold water before your eyes.
YOU - “KIM!!!!”
uhhh bonus stuff? sorry i have swap au brainworms pfttt
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(im not sure what skills kim has at the moment so rn he only has narration as his inner monologue ok whoops, i would like to keep harry as the guy who thinks in dialogue trees so im still figuring it out pfttt)
also, this was done bc i wanted to expand on these old scribbles of mine, just like an idea, i just think that he'd be having an even worse time wheezes
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