still not over the time i told a recent friend (now recent bf) i liked his shirt (pale blue-grey polo w narrow white horizontal stripes, compliments his fluffy light brown hair + hazel eyes) and several lunch walks later he said he can’t remember the last time someone complimented him on his outfit. i think my heart audibly cracked

Full offense but if as a queer goy your first response to “Jewish people are in danger because of Kanye West’s antisemitic comments” is “they’ll come for queer people after they come for the Jews, we need to act” you should really be asking yourself why you need to make this about queer people and not Jewish people to care enough to act. Like yes this isn’t good for anyone but why does it need to be about you for you to care. Queer Jews are already in danger from this. Are we not human enough for you to give a shit about us?

As I get older I realize more and more how incredibly helpful it was for me to get exposed to queer erotica when I was young. Had some friends who were furries and through them I got to see various kinds of queer erotica, which sexualizes and loves the human body in such profoundly different ways than cishet porn and erotica does.

It was helpful because it helped chip away at the idea of normativity, the idea that there is one central ideal towards which all things must strive.

Not in a "queer porn made me enlightened!!!" kind of sense, but in the sense that once the time came that I was ready to start confronting my internalized self-hate and body shame and insecurities, I had some ammo to work with. I wasn't going up against it alone - I could point to this art - gay male art, lesbian art, furry art, art from the transgender perspective, all of it - and know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

I still had to do some work to accept it, and internalize it, but I could know because I had evidence that, yes, there are people who desire bodies like mine, and who love those bodies earnestly and viscerally.

And regardless of whether I am attracted to those people in turn, whether I want to date them or sleep with them, it means that that insidious little voice which is drilled into the back of our heads telling us that our bodies do not meet the standard of quality that qualifies us for love is, quite simply, wrong. Beauty ideals are not a universal value, and they arise from no necessary truth or rational principle, they are a series of deliberate choices made by cultures, influenced by the culture's values.

And when that culture is struggling with a history of white supremacy, with a history of systemic sexism and homophobia, when that culture is dictated in large part by the whims and interests of billion dollar corporations intent on selling Products & Services™, the choice of beauty ideal is neither neutral or healthy, and you can unmake that choice for yourself, and find something better.

Anyway, I guess my point is that porn is good for you actually, especially the gay stuff. Replace all the Marvel movies you watch with filthy Ao3 fiction and furry smut.

i feel like im back in public high school

funny that therapists whose job it is to listen to u are the WORST listeners in society lmaooooooo. they dont hear a single word u say. they genuinely dont care abt what u say at all, they're just gnna take what theyve read in some textbook and apply it on to u. whatever u say you're not a person speaking words, your just a box filled with their judgements and pre constructed notions abt whatever diagnosis theyve assigned to u. therapists and psychiatrists are the most useless and incompetent ppl in society lmao. such a fkn joke it's insane how theyre even allowed to get paid for the shit quality job they perform ._.

opening instagram stories and having a fucking heart attack, Michal, wtf???

Since the topic's been going around and getting me thinking:

Ockham enjoys the typical shows of romance, particularly those expressed physically. Heshethey does struggle though to be the only person in a relationship and the only means of physical/emotional intimacy or support for someone because of hishertheir transitory nature and personal priorities overriding romance. The Greater London Polycule is a good fit for himherthem. Emotional intimacy might be a bit more difficult because of the current identity crisis happening, but heshethey wouldn't turn down sex or any kind of physical intimacy. That's something that Ockham doesn't really have any hangups about, possibly related to living in close quarters with people most of hishertheir life and seeing it as something mundane and relatively normalised. Especially with hishertheir eclectic set of memories and experiences (many of them serpentine), Ockham finds the sexual mores of Victorian Londoners particularly inane at times. These elements also makes Ockham open to trying pretty much anything a partner may suggest, at least once.

On the other side of the spectrum is Roberts, who's actively irked by any overt signs of romance on Grand Geode, usually because that means said sequencers are distracted or shirking duties. Realistically, the negativity comes from it being something that he feels that he could never have as a consequence of both his sexuality and position (though it's not something he's self-aware enough to know, nor wants to think about). Anyone making romantic overtures at this point would be pushed away out of a mixture of him not believing that he deserves it, that said person is after some sort of advantage because of his position, and that it would be a distraction from The Work, with a healthy bit of fear of the unknown thrown in for good measure. He's built up a ridiculous amount of intricate rituals around physical contact with people that make sense only to him. Having any sort of a sex life is a nightmare when you're almost everyone's superior officer and instantly recognisable, and come with enough emotional baggage to hold every piece of sentient clothing in Polythreme, and thus regulated to quick and faceless encounters, often in foreign ports. Even then, the intricate rules persist: sex is sex, direct and perfunctory. Kissing is off limits, absolutely no lingering touches, nothing that feels too much like intimacy or involves giving up control or trusting someone. Get what you're here for and go.

Nite's lack of memory has made everything a novel option and possibility. This is not necessarily a good thing. His strong streak for showmanship and craving attention lead to some somewhat extreme behaviour. Those grand gestures that only seem to work in romance novels are exactly what appeals to his sensibilities and he's convinced that they would work in real life, and is apt to try. If boomboxes and romcoms existed in this era, he would be that guy. It clearly seems to work in the films, so absolutely worth attempting in real life. Because a lot of what he imagines romantic behaviour is comes from stories and not real life experience, he starts with the idea that this is what romance and seduction should look like. Many of these things are things he doesn't even necessarily enjoy, but he tries anyway because what does he know, maybe that's just how things are done. This does eventually modulate over time, when he gets a better sense for his own preferences, and the flair for the dramatic remains, but tempered. He is also very quick to emotionally open up and try to deepen a relationship (either romantic or otherwise), often faster than the other person is comfortable with. After a handful of negative experiences he's gotten better at this. Unlike Ockham, whose sexual tastes generally tend to be broader and has a fairly solid sense of hishertheir boundaries, Nite has the same "I'll try anything" approach, albeit it closer to an "I have to try everything to know what I like" outlook, and no moderation or sense of pacing. This has led to a handful of upsetting experiences (both for himself and any partner(s) involved) when he inevitably discovers far too late that this was not a good idea. His lack of knowledge of his own boundaries makes him dangerous to both himself and others.

Tamara's been on dates with some of her peers back in Varchas, but it was never something that intensely interested her, nor did she ever have a serious relationship. It was expected that she would eventually settle down, either with someone of her choosing from a similar class background, or through a suitable suitor introduced through her family. She did enjoy the attention that flirtation brought, but would be the first to tell you that she doesn't really know what she wants out of a partner either romantically or sexually, but of course has plenty of time to figure it out. In London, she has far more important priorities at the moment and isn't even entertaining the idea. Her initial suspicion surrounding Ockham's kindness was quickly assuaged upon realising that heshethey doesn't necessarily want anything from her at all and offering her a place to stay was simply an act of one outsider recognising another and offering a helping hand. Of course, there's plenty more regarding Ockham about which to be suspicious, but that's a different topic.

The Rubbery Barber Surgeon is in a healthy and loving butch/femme relationship with The Tentaclar Surgeoness. He enjoys filling the traditional masculine role that the Surgeoness, a huge fan of pulpy romance novels, seeks in a partner. Thus far, things have gone well for them, and they seem perfectly compatible. She might just be the one. He may have visited a particular jeweler on Flute Street a couple of times. He's slowly planning a very special date night for them in the near future.

what in the a/b/o are they asking me 😭😭😭

Will you be leaving Tumblr?

Most likely.

From the looks of it, our data has already been compiled and will be handed over tomorrow (I don't have details, the article is locked behind an account creation pop-up) so there's little that can be done for what's already been posted.

I have very little faith that asking those giants to take out our data is going to lead anywhere. There is no obligation in the contract for them to do so.

And even if I were to opt-out, (if that's even going to work at all, remember how well "opting-out" of Tumblr Live worked?) do I really want to keep giving my engagement to a website that feels free to do that kind of scummy shit behind the backs of their userbase? No warning, no talks, no transparency at all? This sits really wrong with me.

So, unfortunately, I most likely will leave Tumblr.

I was just reading a study and now I'm curious:

(you can test your typing speed here)

Add in the tags whether or not you had typing classes in school! Or maybe what your phone keyboard score is in comparison.

Aro culture is not opening the comments of any video where two ppl who aren't in a romatic relationship (even family members) are showing affection to each other or are referring to each other as friends...bcs yk that those idiots will interpret it as "Ooh his look says that he wanted to be more than homies" or "Sweet home Alabama" or "I think the person wanted to wrote girlfriend in the title? Bcs uhh l don't think that siblings act like this"

LIKE WHAT'S WRONG WITH SHOWING AFFECTION OR BEING KIND TO SOMEONE-

.

This might lose me followers but I truly think some of the takes I constantly see on here policing how especially women (not exclusively, but it's almost always directed at women from what I've seen) talk about men are borderline gaslighting and completely devoid of systemic analysis, and I'm genuinely so tired of seeing them, and I would like to find some way to permanently remove them from my dash.

searching for information for an essay or report or whatever is wild because the aMOUNT OF TIMES. YOU'LL CLICK ON A SITE WITH A JUICY STATISTIC OR SOMETHING. AND THEY'LL HAVE NO DAMN SOURCE. OR THE SOURCE THEY LINK TO ISN'T EVEN RELATED. IS TOO DAMN HIGH

*growls at the R for Epidemiology textbook author*

Look.

You may say that someone checking “refused to answer” on the questionnaire may be useless in your analysis (i.e., useless to figuring out “what age someone is”) and thus can be, without consequence, grouped together with legitimately missing data...

But!

Depending on the question (c.f., “Does your gender align with the gender you were assigned at birth?”), you may find that “refused to answer” is heavily biased toward one subgroup or another (c.f., many trans people in a given jurisdiction might be rightfully reluctant to out themselves on a govt-issued health questionnaire), and furthermore, “refused to answer” might not only be heavily biased toward that group, but the “refused to answer” respondents might furthermore be a demographically coherent subgroup (c.f., trans people who cannot afford to tell the government that they are trans), IN WHICH CASE, depending on the goals of the analysis (c.f., identifying underserved demographics and determining the extent of how underserved they are), it might make PERFECT SENSE to analyze “refused to answer” respondents as a coherent and meaningful group, distinct from respondents for whom the data is simply missing (i.e., were never asked, that page of the questionnaire got lost, etc.)

I’m not saying this will definitely happen! And it would be a mistake to say in your analysis that you definitely know the reasons behind someone’s refusal to answer! But they may yet turn out to be a significant, coherent, or interesting subgroup, and you will never know unless you analyze them as such!

Gonna miss the rest of tonight's skating so uuuhhh @ like half of the men's comp, please don't absolutely bail 🙏

i do let the fact that matty t knew the exact stats the panthers would need to make playoffs linger in my noggin. like he was really just crunching numbers in between "how to get my shit rocked in a hockey fight" youtube binges and reliving some sort of disney channel-esque teenage boy angst when keith called his team soft