#and this one is basically how i feel about their mutual relationship to the institution of ferrari and how it affects their dynamic
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Hey, do you remember that really homoerotic scene from Skyfall? No? That's okay, here's a Vettonso version of it :)
- explanation & w/o text:
Hi hello, finally my weird psychosexual relationship with Casino Royale has come to fruition. Yeah this is directly based off a scene from Skyfall, but I def envision the vibe as being more like Casino Royale hehe. I can't believe I made that inspo board for this AU almost 4 weeks ago, and then ended up drawing a four panel "comic" about it. Ahhhh proud of myself, a bit, a tad. I think this took 20+ hours across the span of a week? God. Anyways I digress! The AU!!
First of all, their Bond song would be "My Way of Life" by Frank Sinatra. It's so toxic, codependent and obsessive, I'm in love with it. And it really suits Fernando and his motivations and outlook in this AU. Basically, MI6(in the context of James Bond) in this AU is an analog for Ferrari. It picks theses guys up, tells them that they're Ferrari MI6's most special boy, chews them up, and then spits them out when they're finished extracting all their talent and skill and life force.
Much like with Ferrari, Seb in this AU replaces Fernando after Fernando loses favor and becomes undesirable. Now Seb is the new golden boy, and Fernando has turned to a life of crime! Fernando resents Seb for this of course, but also becomes obsessed with him and the idea of him , and how they are connected. It's weird to watch someone else basically go down your exact same path and unknowingly make all the same mistakes(buying into the mysticism of it all too much, being overly cocky, having naive beliefs and goals, etc.) He is caught between wanting to doom Seb even more but also wanting to "save" him, by corrupting him and convincing him to work together.
Basically: He's both a Bond girl and Bond villain.
Fernando is in such a weird place in this AU. I think he's just very dramatic. Seb is just casually living his best 007(005?) life, and Nando is watching him with binoculars, whispering to himself: "DOESN'T HE UNDERSTAND THAT WE ARE NARRATIVE FOILS!?" Yeah he hates Seb, but like the song lyrics say, their lives and dreams are inherently tied up together. He would feel lost without Seb, because Seb basically, unknowingly, destroyed and then took over his life. Maybe he'll feel satisifed if he manipulates Seb into going down the exact same path a bit better.
About the drawings themselves. Still can't believe this scene is a real thing that actually happened, insane to me. But in this AU, after the events of these drawings, Fernando definitely kicked all his henchman out of the room, and fucked Seb in the chair. And then against the wall. And then on the floor. Hey man, Seb is already looking mighty delicious with his unbuttoned attire and being tied up.
I think the general plot would be that Fernando keeps trying to seduce him to the dark side, and Seb keeps making him think it worked, only to escape at the end of the encounter. Leading Fernando to just come up with increasingly more violent and kinky traps. Seb goes along with it(read: enjoys it), leaving Fernando satisifed, only to somehow escape and wink and make kissy faces at Fernando in the process. (Fernando smoking cigarette in bed: "How do I make him stay. Sigh.")
I like to think though that Fernando does win in the end, by realizing, ah wait shit I do need to actually explain my motivations to Seb. And Seb is so worn down by his job, not Fernando, and how he's being treated, that he listens, really actually listens, and realizes Fernando does really have valid reasons. And then they become evil crime husbands yayyyy. Wow you thought this was a espionage AU? Well it is, but just not the outcome you'd expect.
#ah well this was certainly a project....#rn i feel like im devolving into illness so im glad i could finish this up before it possibly gets worse#this is my magnum opus as of rn. just bcs ive not really drawn such a longform thing for them!! happy w it :)#i think i def like the first one the best#it made me suffer so bad but i think i soften on my own art after a few days#like i finish it and know its 'good' but cant help but critique every little thing#but ive had that one done for almost a week so now i look at it and really love it#i was originally just going to draw that one only but then realized i really like the full dialog so. might as well.#generally i liked this though bcs even if it ws difficult. it was nice to have really direct and clear reference#like ah ik where im going w this rather than it being an image in my head that i cant represent the way that I want#ah anyways all my vettonso aus tend to be just wanting to explore specific dynamics of theirs#and this one is basically how i feel about their mutual relationship to the institution of ferrari and how it affects their dynamic#basically: THEY'RE MIRRORS!!!#there's always something to be said abt nando being resentful abt seb bcs of 2010/2012/etc and then seb taking his seat at ferrari#but then witnessing seb basically go thru the same trials and tribulations and failures at ferrari#and realizing huh wait maybe he's not who i was villianizing him as. maybe hes at my level too. maybe he's not infallible. maybe hes like m#a very bitter nando who has to fight btwn his impulse to ruin seb further or to relate to him and start to like him#so yeah that's ^ basically what i want to portray in this au(just like all AUs tbh)#f1#formula 1#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#catie.rambling.txt#catie.art.#vettonso#bond au
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I’m gonna keep writing Nimona headcanons til someone stops me cause they’ve taken over my life
Ambrosius was forced to suppress his emotions basically his whole life
He used to be one of those guys who would say shit like “I haven’t cried in 15 years”
But not as like a weird subtle brag just as stating a fact which made it more depressing
Once the wall came down it’s like the floodgates opened this man will cry when he’s happy sad angry stressed
You name it he’s crying
And he’s not a pretty crier either which is funny cause there is a whole compilation of “Ambrosius being unreasonably photogenic”
Bal was the typical crybaby growing up
He was constantly bullied for it and it only got worse when he was at the institute
A lot of his classmates and teachers would try and be “helpful” and give him tips to stop crying
Ambrosius was the only one who encouraged him to cry and deal with all his emotions
It’s pretty rare to see Bal cry now but it happens occasionally when he’s sad or stressed or really happy
Seeing Nimona cry is a rare phenomenon
Bal and Ambrosius have only ever seen her cry four times
The first was when they were on Gloreth’s statue at the end of the movie, the second Gloreth’s statue was fully taken down, the third was when the adoption paperwork was finalized and the fourth was their wedding
But she denies it literally every single time
Pinky promises are sacred for the trio
Back when the boys were training they would only make pinky promises about big things
And if they broke those promises there would be big consequences like giving up your dessert for two months
It was a habit that Bal subconsciously passed onto Nimona
The trio never really talked about it but there was a silent mutual understanding that they held weight
The first pink promise Ambrosius ever made was right after Nimona started trusting him and had enough respect for him to hold a conversation without hissing
And he swore that he would never consciously hurt Bal or Nimona again
Nimona made a joke about that being a big promise to make
And Ambrosius said “That’s why it’s a pinky promise”
I feel like Bal and Ambrosius never tried to hide their relationship the kingdom is just stupid
They were highly encouraged by the staff and family to keep it under wraps but they said fuck that noise I wanna hold my boyfriend's hand in public
The fellow knights in training knew something was up but they didn’t figure it out until the wall fell
Todd was the most outspoken when they first started dating he used to go around and tell people “No one looks at their bro like that”
After a while they stopped giving a fuck and they didn’t really have enough time or energy to ask because they were too busy getting their asses handed to them by the boys
A lot of citizens had this weird misconception that they had this heated and bitter rivalry
There were entire articles written about how they were “The rivals of the century”
And the boys would get together and dramatically read every single one of them
Whenever the boys were in a bad mood they would reference the articles like this
“Hey sunshine did you know I joined the institute specifically to dethrone you?” “You know what moonbeam I didn’t but thanks for telling me”
“Bal I just want you to know that I am utterly seething at the cruel defeat by your hand” “Oh I’m so sorry love I’ll make sure to kick your ass nicer next time”
#nimona 2023#nimona movie#nimona headcanon#nimona#ballister boldheart#ambrosius goldenloin#ballister x ambrosius#goldenheart#these dorks live in my head rent free#which is fucked cause one of them is rich#pay rent if you’re gonna invade my dreams#please I'm begging I'm a broke college student
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I saw recently someone post a screenshot of a woman's video that read "my husband came out as gay after 20 years of together" and the screenshot poster said it's extremely cruel to waste 20 years of someone's life and pretend to be in love with them when they could find someone who actually loves them, "if you're gay and in the closet then just be single, you don't have the right to ruin someone else's life" tbh I don't know what to think, I mean I don't feel bad for Sakura and Hinata because they are selfish assholes, but about real people… I would genuinely think I had wasted my life too if my spouse suddenly told me they were never in love with me, and forever have trust issues. But I feel bad for gay men too. Or are women who end up with gay men a specific, gullible type
Except that in conservative societies where heteronormativity is institutionalised and homosexuality is criminalized, the conditions for straight women and gay men aren't the same. Closeted gay men are closeted for many reasons. Institutional punishment, ostracization, disenfranchisement. That cannot be compared with a straight woman whose feelings got hurt. I am not invalidating her feelings, but it's like comparing apples and oranges. It is unfortunate that she lived with a person who basically lied to her for 20 years but it's different from a man who has been living a lie his entire life. It's a kind of violence one can't imagine unless one has gone through something similar. Denying your identity is like denying your existence. Besides, Hinata and Sakura aren't unaware. Sakura for sure knows the nature of Sasuke and Naruto's relationship, and to a large extent, I think Hinata does too. But it suits them to ignore it as long as they are getting what they want. At least in their case, they don't come off as the hurt party. They are the ones who are benefiting from it, having trophy husbands, which is what they always wanted. If they really wanted to do something about it, they would have.
Also, I think most people talk at each other. Not with. If you really pay attention to the other person, what they say, how they say it, if you pay attention to their body language, you can tell a lot about a person. Or get some solid ideas to follow through at the least. A better part of communication is non verbal. It's very useful too. There's a lot of information to be gleaned and used later. It would be pointless to expect that Hinata and Sakura would know to do all that. Otherwise they would have been better shinobis too lol.
It's not that easy to stay in the closet and remain unattached, I know that in many countries, in joint families, no matter what, you gotta get married when the elders say so. You can't come out and you can't say no. There are other obligations too, people's lives are complex. I don't think a gay man would feel so compelled to get married to a straight woman if he had the freedom to choose and express his sexuality without stigma or prejudice.
Also love does not always have to be sexual. There have been many gay men in the past who married women, sired kids even, and yet, respected their wives, mothers of their kids. Of course, in their case, the wife knew the truth. Thomas Savage, for example. Like I said, people's lives are complex. It's not that black and white. There can be love between a gay man and a straight woman without it having to be sexual. There can be mutual love and respect, if they are both open with each other. If they aren't, they should look at the reasons why rather than playing blame games. If separation is the answer, then so be it.
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1 and 3 for acceptance is a small, quiet room ? anddd 11 and 14 for a thought too unfamiliar
thank you omg! both of these fics are very close to my heart and i geeked out a lil (a lot) so i'm putting it under a read more
acceptance is a small, quiet room (the PR meeting in prince au)
1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?
i'm a big ol' nerd about the technical aspects of fics and especially about the PR elements (shout out to my poor mutuals who had to sit through probably one too many rants about drivers' media abilities - or lack of them). one of the things that fascinates me endlessly about prince au is how the royal family is basically an institution, and just how much effort goes into it to maintain the Myth, so i wanted to explore that a bit. and in this, we again see that it's george's decision to go along with whatever his father and the PR team cooked up for him -- he does ask if he can think about it, but he doesn't even try to say "I'm actually seeing someone", doesn't lie that he's seeing a woman, doesn't try to bargain for more time ("Just give me another year and then I will"). i wanted to drive it home that yeah, the circumstances force george's hand, but he IS complicit and willing to cooperate and doesn't try to fight for what he has.
i also think that "We have selected the twenty most suitable options, based on status, age and accomplishments. You may find the preference matrix attached as Appendix A, should you wish to examine it." is SO fucking funny. i love silly and over the top documents. sue me :(
3: What’s your favorite line of narration?
"And along he nods as they present the twenty women, all from noble families, all well-educated, their long hair carefully curled into perfect waves, their pale skin adorned with tasteful makeup and family heirlooms."
i still like the rhythm of this sentence! i was also trying to convey a distance that george feels? i'm a firm believer of "prince george never had a lustful thought of a woman, ever" so like aesthetically beautiful women still feel... alien to him in a sense. like he can see that they are pretty and dolled up nicely but it's doing as much to him as looking at a painting in a gallery.
a thought too unfamiliar (also known as wine cellar breakup)
11: What do you like best about this fic?
i like that it's sad :( lol. i found it so so hard to convey mick's quiet devastation. like how can you say "mick was shocked and could feel his heart breaking" in a way that reads actually nicely? and then i workshopped it with gabby @prettydangrotten and i think the final result is pretty neat! the suffocation of disbelief when you lose something so precious so unexpectedly.
14: Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic?
hmm. i mean it's the opposite of a healthy relationship management and conflict resolution. i like exploring insecurities in fic, and this was one of my favorite attempts at it. we don't see it (and the author IS dead obviously), but seb breaks it off because he wants to prevent falling for mick & he genuinely thinks mick could and should do better (more age appropriate, with less baggage etc). meanwhile mick's been pretty sure that they've become quite serious and he thinks that they don't even have to discuss it. and then seb breaks it off (in a truly horrible way tbh) and mick doesn't stand up for himself, he just starts rewriting his memories to oh i was so stupid to think this meant something to him, even though he is RIGHT and it DID mean something to seb, it meant so much that he had to hit the brakes so fast when he realized just how deep his feelings ran for mick already.
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there's a lot of excellent discussions in the comments of this ep about impactful longterm change vs short-term mutual aid for those in immediate emergency
as someone who does their best to learn about social justice and the impacts of political decisions, i have Many Opinions™️ about this too but i'd just be rehashing a lot of what's already been said. i encourage folks to check out the comments (for once) bc—at least, as it stands rn—people are being pretty decent to each other despite the discourse
(uh no jinx lol. i hope i didn't just ruin the comments section by saying that /o\)
here's a summary of what's been discussed:
both bruce and jason are right
jason is correct that punishing the marginalized at the bottom of the chain is misplaced aggression when in reality they're victims of institutions that benefit those at the top
bruce is right that the way things do change is through longterm impact, and that it takes a lot of time. letting one kid go when he was involved in criminal activity doesn't bring about the change that jason is seeking
furthermore, someone pointed out that bruce actually does go after the very people jason's criticizing in the comics. he does go after corrupt leaders and attempts to make internal change in gotham as both bruce wayne and as batman
HOWEVER, as someone else said, this particular episode is in jason's pov, and that's why he still feels justified for seeing bruce's actions of that night as wrong
some additional comments from me for why that's the case bc i am an overthinking and wordy mf lol:
(watsonian pov) jason knew very well that the boy who robbed him stole the bat-bike bc he needed money for basic necessities, like food
how is that any different from jason trying to jack the batmobile's tires??
of course he'd be upset that batman let the kid be arrested by the cops, when jason himself just ended up at ma gunn's before being taken in by bruce
which is in addition to the fact that he's likely remembering that night with a lot of resentment towards bruce given their current relationship
(doylist pov) while the webtoon does wink to other published issues/comic runs, nico himself said it's a new take on jason todd and his story
there's a chance that the arcs where bruce goes after internal corruption are simply not part of this universe, or if they are, jason was not there to witness it
there's more to Discuss but this post is long enough so i'll just make a new one lol
#red hood: outlaws#red hood outlaws#red hood and the outlaws#rho#rhato#red hood#jason todd#batman#bruce wayne#jercy liveblogs things#meta
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👫 + clarice
send 👫 for four headcanons about our muse’s relationship.
hannibal and clarice kept in contact after he escaped from the institute. not at first, it took a year for hannibal to settle into italy, but once he did, he reached out to clarice. their calls were usually placed late at night ( for clarice ) and could last hours. he also wrote many letters to her, never expecting any back, just spilling his feelings, writing poetry and quotes and how he was doing just so she knew he was thinking about her, basically.
clarice is one of the only people he's opened up with about his family. hannibal thought it was only fair, since she told him about her father, the lambs, etc. so she got to know about his parents, mischa, what he did when he was a child in europe. not that he opened up completely, but clarice got to see him talk about his sister, how he practically raised her, and everything to do with that. it's special information to have, in hannibal's eyes. like an honor that she gets to know even pieces of him.
when she finally comes to meet him in italy ( which we've discussed ), he spoils her. lots of dresses for the opera, champange, jewelry, anything she wants. even though hannibal knows she has simple tastes, he's very eager to please. and he's picked out dresses that he thought she'd like, but also that she'd look perfect in.
this is entirely hc, i'm p sure, but hannibal has done lectures during his career as both a surgeon and a psychiatrist. i think clarice would have sat in on one or multiple of these talks and admired doctor lecter for his speech and the way he held himself. i don't think she ever talked to him, before or after, but if she asked questions or gave answers, i'm sure the impression was mutual, but fleeting. they didn't see each other again until he was locked up, and she was asking questions. i think that's why he allowed her to stay and talk when he hadn't let anyone else do so - he already knew her and thought she was different.
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Love for me is too precious an asset to foolishly waste on a self-absorbed loser like you!
By Stanley Collymore
You claim that you love me and
consequently therefore want
to actually spend the rest
of your life with me; but in spite of your
repetitive importuning of me to simply
trust and believe you on this evidently
important matter that you essentially
customarily also, routinely indulge in
distinctively, equally similarly raising
clearly consistently but all the same
a truly, rather undeniably awkwardly
for me, very unequivocally, crucially
stated endeavour of yours that you
however rather essentially, actually
never once in these key effectively,
absolute genuinely professed love
declarations of yours - simply ever
once endeavoured to or otherwise
actually sought my actual opinion
about: like for instance how I truly
feel about what you're perpetually
telling me or crucially also simply
whether or not such a discernibly
imperative, significantly intensive
relationship, were it unimpededly
to emphatically quite realistically
materialize, would then basically
be seen as or naturally regarded
as really an ad hoc compromise,
undertaken, most undeniably so,
on a spontaneous whim instead
of very specifically and mutually
jointly and likewise undoubtedly
very beneficially, consummated,
in a veritable legally recognized
union of our own; fittingly really
in what's customarily, distinctly
captivatingly and unmistakably
reputably hailed, as matrimony.
Like any average human being,
outside of the rather lovingly
familial situation in which
one was fittingly, also quite beneficially
raised and unquestionably endearingly
brought up in I likewise would actually
similarly personally and dearly clearly
relish, to be able to truly be blessedly
afforded the obvious positive choice
of being a similar beneficiary of just
such a general situation, laudably in
my own individual life. However, I'm
quite perceptive and also obviously
wholly realistically rational likewise
to basically competently know that
such a worthy state of affairs, truly
doesn't naturally materialize out of
the blue or evidently automatically,
generally becomes a fait accompli
because crucially one quite simply
rather earnestly wishes it to be so!
But effectively, has to generally
be consciously, actually and
intelligently also devised;
meticulously worked upon and equally,
sometimes invariably so, undoubtedly
due to a series of setbacks - the clear
recurrent consequences distinctly of
other people's actions, together also
with one's own. Then simply fittingly,
in those distinct circumstances, the
one logical approach: to undeniably
and progressively very significantly
move forward, generally buoyed up
with the full knowledge and crucial
understanding, that rather possibly
may be quite hard to literally come
to terms with nevertheless though
when persevered with, beneficially
and inspirationally work; obviously
coupled with the fitting endeavour
to effectively be an honest person
but not simply, and singularly with
just others but similarly and most
essentially as well one's own self!
Crucially and aptly fundamentally
instituting all authentic attributes
on which undeniably, meaningful
and clearly durable relationships,
truthfully, solidly and propitiously
engaged in are simply irrefutably,
enduringly realized! So obviously
regrettably, I must really say, you
very definitively, don't essentially
create any such correspondingly
meaningful emotions within me!
(C) Stanley V. Collymore
19 November 2023.
Author's Remarks:
This poem was specifically written with all "die Dummkoepfe" in mind and a surfeit of which live in and infest the British Isles with their genetically and biologically produced bastard offspring along with the presence of their simply perceived societal betters comprised quite largely but unsurprisingly of their own obsessively and likewise recurrent incestuous kind.
Conjointly, moronic and rather toxically verminous, intellectually challenged lowlifes at all perceived class levels of their medievally entrenched societal system still egregiously implanted in what's undoubtedly the 21st Century. People, or more correctly and obviously discernibly labelled, sub-humans who most incongruously love to randomly as well as specifically label themselves as the master race; and with noxious and similarly clearly fatuous airs and graces to match, but simply very unsurprisingly all of it quite evidently a truly grotesque facade without any substance!
Idiots: these plethora of racist Karens and likeminded Gammons, who rather instinctively from their self-entitled and the really privileged situations that they occupy, simply most characteristically, unquestionably assiduously, noxiously obsessively, and undeniably earnestly; although rather specifically embarking most rabidly on their vile, and odiously social climbing endeavours, obviously waste no time, however, in undeniably and most disdainfully looking down on everyone else outside their delusionally perceived as sanctified ranks.
With most ironically, the surfeit of quite dim-witted and gullible sycophants who religiously ape them and are so densely stupid that they even also compulsively model their hopeless and pathetic lives on them, because they unquestionably have absolutely nothing really of worth, regarding themselves, to offer! What a nation!
In conclusion this poem is also simply a catalyst to those who are essentially self-evidently mentally liberated with a heart-warming "Congratulations to you" as well as a hopefully motivatory force to those of you who discernibly and as well self- respectingly desire to get out of the morass that you're in!
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oh no
I'm having a really hard time writing the next chapter of my Mac/Eve fic. like... ouchh. I am frustrated beyond belief at this point.
Somehow I've managed to lose all of the Evelyn momentum and have completely lost my characterization of her. Like, she's already slipping through my fingers and I'm literally on chapter five (5). This is incredibly fucking tragic and unlike anything I've ever experienced with Frankie and Danse.
Like, with the other fic I'm working on, Frankie is very multi-faceted, but he's also openly so. Evelyn is multi-faceted, but a lot more tormented at her core so she'd very *tight* and generally hard to read.
(TW: mentions of abuse ahead)
Not to mention, she's explored entirely through MacCready's observance of her. Frankie just kind of gets to exist as himself, unrestricted for the most part. I've long since opened up any "hidden" parts of him, thought they weren't central to his personality per se. Like, he is who he says he is and nothing less. Frankie was only hiding where he came from. Whereas Evelyn is hiding HERSELF as a whole (though not really tbh because she doesn't know who she even is).
She's breaking down far too quickly and I'm forgetting how to write her as the closed book, "rage and fury are my only emotions" character she's intended to be at this point. She's hard to love and very hesitant to reciprocate in kind, but MacCready is absolutely entranced with her. He finds beauty in the way she moves and how she holds herself in the world. She's brutal, but effortlessly so. She's learned how to preserve herself in the face of her many traumas. He's supposed to peel back her layers, getting under her skin in ways she doesn't anticipate, and slowly discover who SHE is even if she doesn't realize it herself yet.
It's a mutual journey, one they have together, because Mac just being so unashamedly himself rubs off on her. She realizes the possibility of just letting oneself experience and enjoy things for the sake of it. She's basically discovering the world (and herself) through him and his occasionally childlike affinities. All the while, he bears witness to her pain through the way she razes everything around her to the ground in a desperate ploy to feel like she has SOME semblance of control.
It's meant to be tragic and painful, because this is a story based on healing and creating oneself from scratch basically (specifically after suffering long-term abuse). And it's also deeply personal to my own life and current relationship vs my past ones. Like, I'm still working on coming out of my shell and finding who I am. And this is the better half of a decade AFTER my own abuse. This fic has been very therapeutic to work on, but from the perspective of characterization I'm losing Eve and it's killing me.
I think the only way to proceed is to retain the basic Sole Survivor backstory, but remove Shaun from the equation entirely as it's putting too much pressure to move the story along. The character development is meant to take place over a longer period of time, with Stuff happening that drives it home, yet I feel it's moving way too fast due to the plot in and of itself.
Of course I want the Institute to be a central Bad Guy, but this needs to all unfold over the course of about two years. Like, preparations for war and all that don't happen overnight. For example, the Brotherhood rebuilding Prime as a relatively new faction in the Commonwealth with little to no outside help is something that, in real time, would take years. I think a group like the RR or Minutemen who don't have some major War Machine to rebuild could prepare in less time than that, but still.
It's already been a few months time in my fic and I'm like ???? this isn't working for me. I always feel the plot breathing down my neck and it's really ruining this fic in particular 🫡🫡
#regg rambles#regg writes#sorry this is a long ass post but im beyond DONE writing this fic at this point#fic: raise hell
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Time to ‘Come As You Are’ with Emily Nagoski — thatsassything
“Is that what I think it is?”, my brother quipped looking at the rather suggestive cover of Emily Nagoski’s celebrated read on female sexuality, ‘Come As You Are’. When I asked him what he thinks, his response was straightforward, followed by a slight smirk, “An open zipper pouch that looks like a vagina. Sneaky, haha.” “That could be the vulva, you know”, I replied. And, that was the beginning of a 15-minute-ish conversation on how the vulva and vagina are different, and how the clitoris is far more complex than just a little hood. Trust me, I wouldn’t have been this comfortable talking to my brother about, well, my anatomy. But, thanks to books like ‘Come As You Are’, that communication gap may be bridged in time to come.
As detailed and comprehensive as it can be, ‘Come As You Are’ is hands-down one of the deepest dives I’ve taken into the literary world making sense of desire, arousal, intimacy, and pleasure from a feminist lens. Some see it as a sex handbook, others as a self-help guide and it’s even been referred to as “a master class in the science of sex”. To me, it was a technically nuanced read on the curriculum of a course I desperately want to get enrolled in. For a person who has two degrees in Psychology, and is eager to learn about pleasure and sexuality from a modern feminist perspective day in and out, I really admire the emphasis laid upon the psychology of sexual experiences (not just the physicalities of it) as being lived by women or people with vulvas.
While reading, I came across an activity wherein you had to describe and break down the good, better, not-so-great, and worse sexual experiences — right from personal characteristics to relationship dynamics and settings. As a self-proclaimed nerd, I asked my partner to attempt this one with regard to our experiences together. Of course, it was fun and downright juicy, but we were able to take a look at each other’s responses and understand how different or similar our mutual (and, individual) pleasure looks. It was also interesting to see how there were certain things I did that turned him on, that I was completely unaware of. He even took my page home to ‘work on the feedback’! The point is — even though you might sometimes feel lost in the vernaculars and the theories, the flow of the book is such that it grips your attention with relatable pop references, resulting in a fine balance. You can make this book your own, and that makes it a wholesome part of your bedroom library.
What REALLY works well…
Let’s start with the basics — or as Emily puts it, “the [not-so-basic] basics” section of the book where she takes the reader through a journey of embracing their bits down there — right from the lips to the clit and even the Skene’s Glands (the part responsible for female ejaculation, or squirting), Emily gave each part of the vulva (and genital anatomy that goes beyond that) the limelight that it needs. Fun fact: did you know that Skene’s Glands were named after a man? I didn’t and now that I do, I think I know why ‘Come As You Are’ has played a pivotal role in realigning and adding the much-needed (and, missing) context to female pleasure. I picked up on this lovely quote from a chapter based on intersex anatomy, “You’ve all got the same parts, just organized in your own unique way.” The power this line holds is great in a way that it normalizes genitals, yours and mine, while also holding space for both. The subtle and smart usage of the metaphor ‘garden’ to describe our sexual ‘hardware’ adds a psychosocial context to how we’re taught to perceive our anatomy.
“Turn on the ons, turn off the offs” — by using the terms ‘accelerator’ and ‘brake’ to describe how our brain interprets sexual response, Emily broke down the Dual Control Model of Arousal as introduced by Kinsey Institute. By this theory, women tend to work towards accelerating their sexual desire without completely understanding how to let up on the brakes when needed. Though the technical aspects may feel a bit overwhelming at times, Emily has described this book as ‘the science-based way of thinking about women’s sexual wellbeing.’ So, if you’re someone who’s eager to load up on female sexuality fact-checks, you’ve come to the right place.
For more information visit : https://thatsassything.com/blogs/sassy-stuff/book-review-come-as-you-are-by-emily-nagoski
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Interview with Fan Artist loycos!
(Art by loycos)
So a few months ago, I was absent-mindedly scrolling on Tumblr (or was it Twitter?) when I came across something: an Adventure Time fan comic by an artist named loycos. As a person embedded in fan spaces, I find fanart like this all the time, but this time, there was something special about the art I was seeing. It was so... show-accurate!
I don’t mean that necessarily in regard to the art style (although it does feel right at home in the Land of Ooo, while still being its own thing with its own flourishes), but rather in relation to the characterization; the way loycos wrote the characters was spot on. She nailed PB and Marceline’s dynamic as former lovers who deep-down miss one another. She nailed Finn’s naive heroism and his one-sided crush on PB. She nailed Jake’s goofball energy. It was perfect.
In the past, I’ve only interviewed people affiliated with the show’s production, but I thought I’d mix things up a bit and reach out to some fan artists that I think are fantastic. As such, I’m delighted to share with you an interview I had with loycos, who answered my questions about her art, her history with Adventure Time, and where her work is headed!
What is your 'artistic origin' story?
[It’s] kind of a corny answer, but I've been drawing since I remember myself. My earliest drawing memories are drawing Clifford (the big red dog) fanart when I was around 5 y/o. I was always more of a "fangirl" artist, [and] I would draw characters from my favorite franchises to illustrate my headcanons and daydream scenarios I'd put them in. That hadn't changed one bit since. I had since gone on to study animation and illustration in official institutions which forced me to design characters and worlds of my own, but when I draw for myself it's always back to fanart (or studies). I don't have any OCs.
Are there particular artists or styles that you were inspired by and/or like to emulate or allude to?
I'd joke that my artstyle is just a mesh of all the franchises I've drawn fanart for over the years, but honestly, is it even a joke? I think you can easily recognize I had a Disney Phase like every other teenager (I didn't have an anime phase though! I know, I'm an anomaly) and [Steven Universe] definitely left it's fat mark on my style too. Out of [Steven Universe]'s storyboarding crew (which I followed very closely over the years) I especially love Raven Molisee and Jeff Liu for their wacky expressions and proportions, and of course Rebecca Sugar for their fluid and carefree lines. When it comes to art in general, I tend to prefer stylized, colorful and brushy styles over realistic or gothic ones, So people like Hue Teo and Patri Balanovsky pop to my mind (and my artstation feed, seriously look them up).
How do you approach your projects; what is your general art process?
It really depends on the type of project I'm doing, though, my [Adventure Time] comics were all pretty similar in their conception: I write down all of my ideas in my notes so I won't forget them. Then I either roughly sketch out the entire comic as fast as I can, or I write a script (if the concept is specifically very dialog heavy) and then sketch it roughly. Then I do the lineart and color, nothing too complicated. The one thing I think is worth noting in my long comic process is that I draw all of my panels on the same document- that way it's easier for me to make sure the characters stay on model and that my panel layout remains fresh. So basically, the way you read the comics on tumblr, as a long scroll, is the format I work on.
How did you come to find Adventure Time? What made you join the fandom?
Adventure Time is one of those shows you just know about, so I don't remember how I first found out about the show. However, I do remember when I started shipping Bubbline—after the episode “Broke His Crown” aired. I somehow ended up in their Tumblr tag and was blown away by the (by 2016's standards) blatant representation. Despite my obsession with them at the time, I never actually watched any episode that didn't feature the girls' relationship. I only started fully watching the show recently. But I did consume a lot of fan content, which I think helped me shape my own headcanons and such. After my initial interest in 2016 I put Bubbline back on the back burner and kept on my [Steven Universe] ramage, until last year's “Obsidian,” which brought me back fully on board the Bubbline decks around 2 weeks before it aired, so I was in maximum hype mode when I watched the special. It did not disappoint [and it] really reminded me of why I loved these characters and their relationship to begin with. I started drawing my own art for the ship shortly after, when I felt like the hype around the special died down and there wasn't much to keep me sustained anymore. I make what I want to see ;)
As for joining the fandom, I don't know if I can be considered a member, seeing how inactive I am most of the time and my very limited list of [Adventure Time] mutuals. I am extremely flattered that my stuff caught ATimers attention in a positive way.
You've done some amazing Bubblegum and Marceline stuff. What draws you to their dynamic?
I'm gay.
OK, seriously now. I have a soft spot for extremely feminine, dainty characters that are very reserved, so PB immediately marked herself as an obvious fav, and the road to shipping her with Marceline (who is such an obvious candidate and a multilayered, fascinating character herself) was a short one. I know calling PB dainty is far from a true statement, but that's what she appeared like on the surface and that's what caught my attention. Another thing is that I love relationships between immortal beings, I think it always adds another layer of complexity to any relationship, especially a romantic one. The whole "getting older without appearing like you've aged" and "watching everyone you love die around you while you stay the same" can surely make 2 beings bond, right? It always felt like PB and Marcy get each other in a way no one else can, they are very different on the surface but share fundamental internal similarities. Oh, and the fact that they're EXES? The romantic tension and the longing? The familiarity and banter they had in every scene they shared?This hit the jackpot on literally every relationship trope that I love. I'd much rather watch a "getting back together" than a "falling in love for the first time" story.
All of this and the fact that they [are] gay. It's really that simple sometimes.
In broad strokes, what is next for you as an artist and/or as a fan?
I have a few [Adventure Time] comics ideas\scripts on the back burner and one that is in the making. I think I'll dabble into some Nintendo fanart cause I've been playing a lot of Smash Bros and [Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild] lately.
I’m so excited to see what comes next! Either way, a huge thanks to loycos for chattin’ with me! If you’d like to check out more of her art, visit her Tumblr and her Twitter page!
#adventure time#atimers#adventuretime#bubbline#princess bubblegum#marceline#marceline the vampire queen#pb#marcy#loycos#fanart#fan art#interview#fandom
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I'm not back from my hiatus, but @jaytwosday made a post earlier asking for fic recs and sorta turned my whole shitty day upside down by mentioning me as one of their favorite authors (among a list of MY favorite authors).
So, with that in mind, here's a lil wincest reclist full of works that remind me in one way or another of my own writing (and/or the writing of the other amazing authors on the list – @hathfrozen, rivkat, killabeez, paxlux, and astolat):
Five Broken Promises, by @lovetheirloves
Words: ~4.3k
Summary: Sam made Dean so many promises.
My Notes: Standalone getting-together fic from one of my favorite AU 'verses. Achey, breaky perfection. Stupid Sam, noble Dean. A beautiful mess of feelings.
Love Letter, by whereupon
Words: ~4.9k
Summary: It's almost fall and Sam hasn't said anything about leaving.
My Notes: First time. Car porn. Angst. Hot, empty highways.
Almost At Home, by @balefully
Words: ~24.3k
Summary: Sam graduates from high school in early June in rural Tennessee. He and Dean start the summer with an all-nighter of celebration; the day after, while both fight hangovers, John calls to assign them their first hunt by themselves. They go to northern Virginia to investigate the homicidal ghost of a dangerous escapee of a high-security prison and mental institution whose MO is beheading people with an axe while wearing a filthy, grotesque bunny suit. Then throughout the long, happy summer, as they move around tackling a series of minor hunts together, John's absences grow longer. Sam and Dean explore their relationship as it burgeons into something they've both been craving and which neither of them regrets.
My Notes: I forgot to rec this one at the time I read it (was on vacation), so I've forgotten some of the finer details. I know it was an instant fave, though. It was perfectly paced and the level of mutual pining made me feel so many shrimp emotions.
I'll take my chance on a beautiful stranger, by fleshflutter
Words: ~3.9k
Summary: N/A
My Notes: POV from one of Sam's pre-law classmates at Stanford while their small group of students spends winter break in a ski town. Dean happens to be there hustling cards. They don't expect to run into each other. Very good.
I'll Have What He's Having, by gekizetsu
Words: ~3k
Summary: Dean messes with Sam until Sam can’t take any more. Dean shouldn’t do that. Or maybe he should.
My Notes: Cracky prankfic where Dean decides to recreate *that scene* from When Harry Met Sally to bother his poor innocent brother. Contains one my my favorite dialogue exchanges in any fic ever.
taste of grave in the mouth, by @fallcolorspringrapid
Words: ~3k
Summary: Sam puts the gun down on the bed and presses his palms on his thighs to hide the shaking. “I need you to put your gun in my mouth,” he says, voice surprisingly steady, “and not shoot me.”
My Notes: Queerplatonic gunsucking. Basically made me hold my breath for ~3k words. Made me feel weird (affectionate). Dark and a little unhinged in just the right way. A depiction of Sam and Dean as seen through the kind of dream-like Fuller-edit horror show lens that lives in my head.
almost rosy, by @shiftylinguini
Words: ~5.2k
Summary: Dean used to do this for Sam, when he was small and Dad was gone. When no one else was there. When their mom was in the ground instead of down the hall, and Sam had Dean and Dean had―memories, of someone doing this for him. Maybe. It's all shaky before the fire. Maybe he just made that bit up.
Or, in the aftermath of Mary coming back, Dean takes stock of how they're doing.
My Notes: I'm so soft over this one. Absolutely beautiful coda post-BMOL-Sam-torture story about Dean washing Sam's hair. I want to burrow into this fic and live there. Toes the line between romantic and QPR gorgeously.
howls in my bones, by @weefaol
Words: ~22.7k
Summary: When John gets a call to investigate a series of grisly animal killings, he drops Sam and Dean at an abandoned cabin two towns over. The boys find ways to keep busy — playing cards, watching movies, chopping wood — but with a howling winter storm on the way, there’s nowhere for Sam to hide his illicit feelings for his older brother.
As the lure of desire threatens to devour him, Sam must learn to face the wolves that lurk outside and the monsters within.
My Notes: Sad and sweet, a thousand big feels that won't go away. Excellent first-time weecest.
Easy on the Clutch, by yourperiphery
Words: ~32.5k
Summary: In a shit town in New Hampshire, Dean teaches Sam to drive.
My Notes: (The link for this one takes you to a Mediafire download page for the PDF of this fic. afaik it's not hosted anywhere online anymore.) Perfect teen longing and tension and sexy achy moments. The amount of times my stomach clenched reading this is frankly embarrassing. (I also HIGHLY recommend the podfic of this story, read by houxvertetbruyere.)
Second Map of the World, by candle_beck
Words: ~13.9k
Summary: They're on a lucky streak, and then Sam does something ill-considered, and the plot thickens.
My Notes: An all-time fave. Perfect from beginning to end. Made me tear up. Solid af metaphors and shit. I don't even know what to say besides OOF.
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“If you are to bow your head, only to one of higher standing.”
Continuing in airing out space in my brain by typing out loud about Cyberpunk characters. I’ve talked about the details of V & Johnny’s relationship & friendship but the most interesting character after that is Goro Takemura. The above quote is the most revealing in terms of who Goro is as a person.
I know a lot of people love him & I think he’s great too but I don’t think a lot of people really dig down to just how broken a person he is. The game makes you grow to see Goro as the person he is, his quirks & foibles become a part of the reason why you want to see him live. The problem though is that the feeling is not mutual ultimately. There really isn’t much there to be redeemed by the time the game starts.
Goro is more tragic a character than Johnny. Johnny develops as a person. He looks back at his past & grows. Goro clings fiercely to the idea of a world that doesn’t exist. Goro represents the cycle of abuse & institutional violence, how someone can be the victim & the perpetrator simultaneously.
The fact that Goro is just so damn likeable makes this even better in terms of getting across how brainwashing can twist good people into defending the harmful status quo. You want to see the good in him, you know he can be so much more, you dont want to acknowledge how harmful his ideological view point is because he’s your buddy, he’s funny & seems to genuinely like V.
To Arasaka, honour, tradition & loyalty only apply to pawns that prop up the system that feeds upwards to the heads of the family. The main family branch pay lip service to these ideals but ultimately aren’t confined to them, unlike Goro or Oda whose very lives depend on keeping to these strict rules.
I think the chat on the rooftop between Takamura & V when they discuss the Nekomata & their respective pasts really show how far gone Goro is. There’s no saving him.
Goro speaks about his devotion to Saburo Arasaka in a terms of pure love. He lectures V about honour, and it’s clear he likes & relates to V in many ways. Goro sees himself in V (particularly StreetKid V), sees a life where he wasn’t “saved” by Arasaka. He’s almost appealing to V to see the light which is ironic considering Goro is literally buried under a ton of mental conditioning & brainwashing.
The reality is that Goros loyalty stems from gratitude of the oppressed to their oppressors, to have the basic first tier of needs met in a world were wealth has been consolidated even more dramatically into the hands of a tiny minority. It’s a world where the ideas of capitalism is followed through to their logical conclusion, of perpetual accumulation.
Goro has no perspective for a world outside of this old order and is therefore grateful to be given food and shelter, even if it means he has no personhood to speak of outside his primary duty to protect Arasaka and their material interests. He actively fights against the idea of systemic change.
It’s a dog eat dog world and he consider Arasaka this cruel worlds God, because they effectively are. This is why he reacts so badly to any ending that isn’t on board with the Arasaka agenda. Goro contemplates suicide because like the Samurai vassals of the past, protecting the feudal interests of their Lords, he has been warped into a weapon, stripped of his personhood. His only role is to facilitate the continuation of labour & profit to be squeezed from the unworthy masses.
This is sad, but Goro has played an active role in leading others into being tools of oppression. Goro was responsible for training new body guards. Goro returned to the slums to play king maker for Arasaka interests. Goro trained and steeled Oda into becoming a weapon, self perpetuating the cycle endlessly.
I love Goro for his complexity but I think he’s too far gone. His affection for V is real, just like his love for Oda is real too. While Takemuras preference is to save Oda, he moves on quickly if Oda dies, necessary for the chance to save Arasaka. Even for a V who saves Arasaka, Goro isn’t too pushed either way. V has fulfilled their role in his eyes, their usefulness defined solely by their ability to prop up Arasaka. With the duty fulfilled, V is no longer that important, a footnote to Goro in his overall world perspective. Takemura would sell V out in a heartbeat if it meant maintaining the system of inequality that bred him.
Takemura bows to one of higher standing, blind to the fact that they are parasites. The parasite has created in him a perfect host, one far more deadly than Johnny. There is no symbiosis here. Just joy at his own exploitation by his tapeworm, his Arasaka.
“What need you, being come to sense,
But fumble in a greasy till
And add the halfpence to the pence
And prayer to shivering prayer, until
You have dried the marrow from the bone;
For men were born to pray and save”
Yeats
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Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Star Trek: Picard
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Agnes Jurati/Cristóbal Rios
Characters: Agnes Jurati, Cristóbal Rios
Additional Tags: Meta, Developing Relationship, my take on Agnes and Cris's relationship, and why i think it works, Minor Character Death (Mentioned), Psychological Trauma
Title Inspired by @regionalpancake‘s glorious Downtime Drabble “You’re Light On Me”
A while ago, a friend confessed to me that they didn’t really understand what Agnes Jurati and Cris Rios see in each other. They felt the relationship seemed unmotivated and forced, and they didn’t really see why other people thought it worked.
I’ve seen this sentiment a few times since the show came out, and I’m not here to tell anyone they have to agree with the show-writers’ choices or like a relationship if it doesn’t work for them. But I recently reread the little essay I sent that friend in reply (after making sure they’d want to read it ;9 ), and I really liked it, so I thought I’d share it here.
When people say that the kiss between Agnes Jurati and Cristobal Rios at the end of Star Trek: Picard season 1 blindsided them, I understand where they're coming from. I think the showrunners could have done more to make the developing relationship between these characters truly obvious, but for me, it didn't feel like the mutual attraction between Cris and Agnes came completely out of nowhere. Let me explain.
One of the big things about Rios’s character I find striking is that he wants to be stoic and cynical and misanthropic, but he just... can't do it. He tries! He's short, he hides behind his books, and he pretends he doesn't care about politeness. But the only people he ever swears at are Raffi, a very good friend, and the holos (which are a whole other matter, because there is all this self-loathing tied up in Cris's relationship with them). Over the course of season 1, it's pretty clear that Rios is rather good at reading people, and he wants to do right by them. He defers to Picard pretty much immediately and Soji looks at him pleadingly once and he decides to put his ship at risk for her.
Rios doesn't want to like people, he just can't help himself. He wants to be annoyed by Agnes interrupting his reading, but I think he finds her quirkiness disarming and charming. It's already visible in the way he looks at her on the bridge, when they talk about paper books. And then they go to the holodeck to discuss Picard's detour to Vashti. Since Agnes is the audience stand-in, she asks a bunch of questions, and instead of being annoyed or short, Cris patiently explains everything to her (after offering her a seat). Later, when Cris asks Agnes what she thinks about his outfit for the Stardust City caper and she says he's killing it, there's a beat there. He seems almost a little taken aback, either by her sincerity, or maybe by realizing he values her opinion. It's yet another thing they connect over it. (Also robot boxing. That scene is adorable)
With regards to Agnes… I think partially, she's leaning into her natural humour and quirkiness to appear non-threatening and not give herself away, but I also have another read on her behaviour. (This may partially be me projecting WAY TOO HARD, or, to put it more generously, applying some lived experience to what we see of Agnes's character, so your take on this might be very different. But this is what I see.)
When Agnes and Cris talk before they go off to have sex, Agnes is making jokes and smiling. To me, that doesn’t read as fake or a ploy to manipulate Rios, it seems real. And then when he asks, really asks, how she's feeling, suddenly there is this chasm of pain right under the surface.
For me, the idea that Agnes has this intense psychological trauma and is dealing with it by finding joy in little things, like watering the plants, and reading papers, and flirting with the hot captain by completely wrong-footing him with a comment about her dad... it feels very authentic. And I can see how this guy, who pretends to be all uncaring and edgy but is actually a big softie not very far under the surface, and who smiles at her jokes and takes the time to explain stuff to her and listens to her babble, that's a nice distraction from the horrible things happening in her mind.
Not in the sense that she's manipulatively using him, but in the sense that this kind of human connection gives her moments of light and gives her reasons to keep going, even through so much pain.
After Agnes kills Maddox, she is deeply, deeply conflicted over what she's done. To the point where when they’re leaving the Artefact, she basically says "I don't care if the world ends if I don't kill Soji. Let it all burn. I just can't do this anymore". And then here is this man, who's kind and caring and, yes, hot, and at first it's "I just want to feel something, anything, and he's here, he's half-naked, he's gorgeous".
And Rios isn't necessarily opposed to a no-strings-attached fling. Because he keeps telling himself he doesn't get attached and he hates people and he's only ferrying them around because they're paying him. So it's a distraction with a woman who is quirky and witty and pretty, but it won't mean anything, and that's okay.
And then Agnes changes her mind, because she realizes having sex with Rios will make things more complicated. Or maybe because she thinks Rios deserves better. Or that she shouldn't have sex to distract herself from horrible emotional pain because that's kinda unhealthy.
So she pulls back.
And Rios, instead of being annoyed at missing out or feeling like she led him on, or any number of things, asks her how she's feeling. In a way that makes it clear (at least to me) that he really cares about the answer. And for a moment, Agnes lets him see the true darkness inside her. Because she can pretend it's about Maddox dying, she can pretend it's just about being a lonely nerd. She doesn't have to tell him how bad it really is, but she lets herself feel all of the bad emotions for just a moment.
And then she kisses him again, maybe to shut herself up or to distract herself, or because she needs the connection. And he doesn't have any illusion about what it is they're doing. He knows she's trying to feel better, he essentially tells her he knows it's a way for her to deal with her devastation, and he's okay with it. Maybe because he knows what it's like to feel hollow and terrified and need something, anything to cling to.
And at this point, I think they're both still telling themselves that they don't actually care about each other. Cris because he doesn't want to care about anyone ever again so he won't get hurt. (Which, again, he fails miserably at, but I think that's how he wants to see himself and why he treats his holos with so much disdain that Emil tells Picard "He doesn't get any nicer", even though we see Rios being kind to all the people on board.)
And Agnes doesn't really have the brain space to allow herself to fall for anyone. She's just taking little moments of light and human connection where she can get them.
And they both decide to have sex as a one-night-stand, just to make Agnes feel better for the night, just because they're both lonely and in pain. No deeper meaning behind it.
And then the whole tracker debacle happens. It takes three days to get to Nepenthe and by the time Agnes goes into a coma, they're still a couple days away at least. She doesn't wake up until Picard is back on board, which means she's out for a long time. Even though we don’t see much of the medical drama, we can assume she was very much at death's door. So, now Rios is faced with once again losing someone he feels somewhat responsible for. Someone he has actually gotten close to. And I think that moment and the fear it causes him might make him start to realize how much he actually cares about her.
And then when Picard and Soji are on board, they all sit down together and figure out the big mystery at the heart of season 1. And here is another thing Cris and Agnes find out they have in common: Both of their lives and minds got destroyed by Oh's machinations.
Cris went against everything he believed in when he covered up what Vandermeer had done. He didn't actively kill anyone, but he feels like Vandermeer's death is his fault. His belief in the fundamental goodness of Starfleet was shattered when they threatened to blow up his ship. For Agnes, this kind of shattering of a truth she had clung to comes when she realizes she wasn't acting on the directive of the Head of Starfleet Security in a black-ops mission sanctioned by one of the most important institutions of the Federation. Instead, she was nothing but a pawn, used by Oh for nefarious purposes that had nothing to do with the greater good. The exact circumstances of their traumas are different, but they were both caught up in the same catastrophe and cover-up and it has marked them in similar ways.
I think this is one of the reasons Rios doesn't blame Agnes for killing Maddox. If anything, he gets more protective of her, e.g. by trying to stop Sutra from forcing another mind-meld on Agnes. You can see this in a more subtle scene, too: when Cris says goodbye to Agnes at Coppelius station, he reaches out to touch her face, but then he hesitates and proceeds with extreme gentleness and care. To me, that reads like someone very, very aware of the other person's trauma and possible triggers (forced mind-meld) and caring deeply about making sure she feels safe and has something good to counterbalance the horrible memories.
And finally, we clearly jump quite a bit in time at the very end of season 1. When our motley crew sets out from Coppelius, the Synth Ban has been lifted. Just imagine the bureaucracy that must have taken! That’s not something that can be overturned in a day. Also, Raffi and Seven have had time to connect, so I imagine in that time, Cris and Agnes, too, will have slowly figured out whether they're compatible and whether this relationship is something they might, very carefully and gently, endeavour together.
Because they have a compatible kind of humour, because they understand what it's like to feel deeply broken but to keep going regardless, because she's witty and quirky and he's caring and kind and they went through a very specific hell together, and they might be able to hold each other's hands as they slowly make their ways towards healing.
I’m going to do a metatextual thing here and quote an absolutely gorgeous drabble by @regionalpancake that, to me, encapsulates one very important aspect of the relationship between Cris and Agnes.
Your Light On Me
You’d forgotten just how it felt.
To feel like you.
A stranger,
Last seen aboard the Ibn Majid.
Proud, red trimmed shoulders,
Bright pips, a polished combadge.
You signed aboard,
And found
A different man signed off.
You’re old enough to know,
She cannot fix you.
You wouldn’t want her to.
That’s between Pops and you.
That’s your work to do,
Not hers.
But Agnes?
Preciosa.
Something in her,
Shines a light.
Reminds you who you are.
You have to find,
Your own way home.
But god,
It’s nice,
At last,
To find,
A gentle soul,
To hold the lamp.
Chapter 74 of Downtime
That. Right there. A gentle soul to hold the lamp. I think for me, that's what the relationship between Cris and Agnes boils down to.
They are broken people in a broken world, but by the end of season 1, they have found that they can hold each other while they try to put themselves back together. And what starts out as a fun, distracting flirtation, then turns into "meaningless" sex to stop feeling lonely and sad, finally becomes the beginning of a relationship built on shared trauma, but more importantly on kindness and charm.
I have no idea whether these two can make it work long-term, but I am very much on board for what we've seen so far, and I hope this can help a bit in explaining why.
NB: After I finished writing this a few weeks back, I remembered that there was a fic that came to very similar conclusions. Upon reread, I realized it essentially hits the exact same points I do here and does so absolutely beautifully. So if you want a truly touching in-universe perspective on this relationship, go and read Love Comes Softly by Be_Right_Back (@smhalltheurlsaretaken, or listen to the Podfic recorded by Thimblerig. I cannot recommend this fic highly enough!
#star trek picard#star trek picard meta#agnes jurati#cristobal rios#agnebal#a gentle soul to hold the lamp#lili's writing adventures#this probably could have done with a bunch more editing#but it's 2:30 am and i really need to sleep#and yes i do still plan on writing an essay in defense of agnes one day#we'll get there#i first need to finish a drabble collection and a way too involved pseudo-anthropology-article#anyway#here is me rambling about agnes and cris for 2000 words#because i love them and their relationship#and they are *complex*#and i have a lot of thoughts about their interactions#and i identify with agnes WAY TOO HARD#wow i need to sleep#more rambly tags when i reblog for timezones tomorrow
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sunnflower hot take >:)
okay, okay so. i know that sunnflower is a rly popular OMORI pairing, and don't get me wrong, i like it, too,,,, HOWEVER. here is a post-good ending headcanon that will smash all of ur sunnflower dreams into a million bits and pieces <3
[edit: just want to let anyone else who sees this post that it is 10000% okay to ship sunflower, and this whole post is purely a headcanon that’s been stewing in my brain since last month, and it is only my interpretation and my opinion !]
TW // suicide, anxiety, mental institutions, childhood trauma
Sunny and Basil *cannot* see each other
i have been up for 24 hours and don't know if anything i'm about to say will make sense, so bear with me. it's not uncommon for people who shared trauma to have intense reactions that manifest in their relationships with each other. some people become hyper-attached to each other after the traumatic event, while some people are the exact opposite, and if these people come into contact with each other, it can be extremely detrimental to their mental healths. the latter is how i see basil and sunny (especially basil).
throughout the game, a lot of their interactions come off as stiff and awkward not only because they haven't spoken in years, but also because basil is too emotionally dysregulated to keep up a conversation. he's stuttering, he's sweating--WE ALL SAW HIM. he is an anxious. wreck, and this anxiety directly stems from mari's death and sunny's presence. especially after kel breaks the news that sunny's moving away, we can see that any major changes sunny makes are going to heavily affect basil on a psychological level. this isn't just a problem with basil clinging to the last bit of familiarity in his life, but it would also affect sunny's personal growth if these patterns were to be perpetuated in any future relationship between the two, platonic or romantic. imagine trying to move on from the most traumatic experience of your life, and an old friend you haven't talked to in years, begs you to stay. it isn't healthy for either of them.
FURTHERMORE, in regards to the secret true ending with the special SunnFlower cutscene, i think that it's okay to say that these two are beginning the healing process and are working towards finding peace in their lives separately. this ending doesn't imply really anything other than a mutual understanding that everything they'd been holding onto for years had finally been released, and that they were now beginning their journey of recovery.
i don't think they talk for a long time after the good ending--i don't think they really want to. for sunny, basil is a painful reminder of not only the death of his sister, but also the incident that landed him in the hospital. you don't just automatically make amends with the person that gouged your eye out during a psychotic episode. i think that sunny understands and forgives, but i do not think he feels safe.
for basil, on the other hand, sunny is a reminder of the terrible thing he did to mari's body and also his abandonment issues he got from his absent parents. in my opinion, being the person who strung up your best friend's dead sister into a tree to make it look like a su*cide is worse than being the one who pushed her down the stairs. you can push someone on accident, but you definitely can't hang someone on accident. i imagine there's a lot of guilt in there mixed with a whole lot of other childhood trauma from his neglectful parents that is a cocktail for mental instability. (also would like to point out that basil having the idea to hang her up in the first place is an early sign of extreme mental illness,, that isn't normal and also hints at some kind of emotional codependency or unhealthy attachment he has to sunny.) the fact that basil was pushed so far that he had a psychotic episode which resulting in him stabbing his friend--which by the way was triggered by sunny's mere presence, not an immediate physical threat of any kind--is so telling of his mental state, and i honestly believe that best thing for him would be hospitalization. for a while. if he cannot be safe to himself and others, then he needs to begin his recovery in a rehabilitation center, and who knows when it would be safe for him to be discharged.
to put that last bit in perspective, i've been hospitalized before due to a pretty half ass attempt that i didn't follow through with because i was drunk out of my mind and that landed me five days. five days, and i didn't even do anything, like no physical harm came to me. also, during my time there, i was really adamant about how i was feeling better and said i had reduced SI which is also how i got out of there in that small amount of time. i have no idea how much time someone like basil would have to spend in an institution, but it would probably be more than a few weeks.
if seeing sunny was the final trigger that led up to basil's psychotic episode, then it is completely possible that seeing sunny would only bring up similar dysregulation problems in the future, even after he's well on his way to full recovery.
SO TL;DR
1. basil stakes his emotions too heavily on sunny,
2. for sunny, basil reminds him of his sister's death and incident that brought him to the hospital, leading him to feel unsafe around basil,
3. for basil, sunny reminds him of the guilt in shame of what he did to mari's body (which i think we can all universally agree is much worse than accidentally pushing her down the stairs),
4. sunny's presence pushed basil to a point where he was not safe to himself or others in an extreme manner that borders homicidal,
5. BASICALLY WHAT IM SAYING IS THAT THEY TRIGGER EACH OTHER AND WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO HANDLE HANGING OUT FOR EXTENDED PERIODS OF TIME BC OF THE PTSD AND POSSIBLE PSYCHOSIS
so yeah. there it is. if you made it this far, im so sorry.
#omori#sunnflower#omori sunny#omori basil#omori sunflower#omori headcanons#omori spoilers#omori game#omori anaylsis
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Analysis: Do Franky and Robin count as married?
Okay let’s get this started! And how? With looking up the definition of marriage!
marriage (noun) mar·riage | \ ˈmer-ij, ˈma-rij \
Definition of marriage
1a: the state of being united as spouses in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law
1b: the mutual relation of married persons: WEDLOCK
1c: the institution whereby individuals are joined in a marriage
2: an act of marrying or the rite by which the married status is effected especially : the wedding ceremony and attendant festivities or formalities
3: an intimate or close union
// the marriage of painting and poetry�� J. T. Shawcross
So, marriage is a consensual and contractual union/relationship between spouses.
Webster also adds, that marriage is a very controversial word.
And while they point out some very interesting facts, we will concentrate on only this part (because we don’t care for American law right now):
The definition of the word marriage—or, more accurately, the understanding of what the institution of marriage properly consists of—continues to be highly controversial. (...) Ultimately, the controversy involves cultural traditions, religious beliefs, legal rulings, and ideas about fairness and basic human rights.
So, when we call something a marriage we always have to consider the culture, traditions, religious beliefs, legal rulings, ideas about fairness and basic human rights. Which can become difficult, since we are talking about a fictional world. In the end we will have to consider our own cultural background and in my case it is very euro-centric but I’ll try my best to not make it too much about that.
In the next step we should answer the question... (after the read more)
Why should anyone marry?
Nowadays there are three main reasons for marriage:
religious reason
legal reason
love
But let’s be honest, the deeper we dig, the more we can put together religious and legal reason, because in the end, many religions were the original background to legal texts. What more are the 10 commandments than a rulebook for living as a group?
That does not change that it’s still important for many to have a religious wedding. Being married by a priest in a church, in a temple, with the customs of they grew up with. For some it means to be with their partner even after death.
The legal reason is becoming more important in many “modern” countries. Being married can mean that there are tax benefits, security in ownership, security with child paternity and adoption and many more. Often only legal family members are allowed to visit a patient in hospitals and are allowed to make decisions for the spouse.
(Sometimes it’s already enough to just be engaged.)
The last reason does not need any explaining I guess: Love. If you love and know your spouse and want to stay together forever and make it clear to everyone, marry them! Celebrate with your friends and family and tell everyone “we stick together through good and bad until death do us part”.
Now then let’s ask
Why should Franky and Robin marry?
Religious reasons:
We don’t know much about religion in One Piece. We see symbolism of Christianity, Satanism and Buddhism. Alabasta is inspired by old Egypt and the three weapons are named after planets or Roman god, while Big Mom named her homies after Greek gods.
Anyway, neither Franky nor Robin seem to be very religious. Robin met a “god” they both have seen how a following named Usopp a god. The celestial dragons are referred to as almost god-like. They’ve been to Thriller Bark and met Brook who is undead. Do they believe in a higher power? We don’t know but either way they don’t seem bothered by it.
So it does not seem like there is a need to marry because of religious reasons.
So what about legal reasons?
Both Franky and Robin are wanted criminals, not only in one country but in the whole world. As of now there is no reason for them to make their marriage legal because there is no law they abide to.
Officially they only exist as pirates within the Marine documentation. I don’t think either of them have their birth certificate. Robins place of birth is destroyed. Franky was probably born at sea. I think the only place where they would really sign themselves as citizens is Water Seven and - depending on what is going to happen - even that is highly unlikely.
They also don’t really seem to have anything in their possession of value. They basically live in an almost commune-like environment on Sunny where people probably do have their own things but also seem to share everything. So there is also no need to clear that up in the case of a divorce or of the death of one spouses. And again both being pirates, if they have children there won’t be any issue with child support or paternity. Because let’s be real, as long as they are part of the crew, Robin and Franky might be the parents by blood but kids will be raised by everyone.
There is no need to register with a government and no need for a contract. So no legal reason to be married.
So, love it is?
Yes. Yes it is. That is their pure reason to get “married”. But then again, what does marriage mean? Nowadays it’s always accredited by law or religion. Both seems unlikely and unnecessary for Franky and Robin.
So even if they love each other, can we claim that they are married? For whom should they clarify their relationship?
They are living within a small group of people so as long as they are openly in love it does not really matter if they are married or not.
BUT! Let’s take a look at the definition once more and more closely to point 2.
2: an act of marrying or the rite by which the married status is effected especially : the wedding ceremony and attendant festivities or formalities
If Franky and Robin decided to have a wedding ceremony of any kind just for the party, then there is no reason to do so in front of an entity or a government. And it will still be of the same value as any other marriage.
Now you may ask “Who is going to perform the marriage? And why?”
Good question! What about the captain? Well, there is no real evidence that pirate captains were allowed to or had the power to perform a wedding. We do know that Matelotage was a practice within pirate crews, comparable to a gay marriage and a contract. But I couldn’t find any fast information of how it was ‘legalized’. Female pirates were a rarity but maybe hetero Matelotage was a thing too? As for modern times, it really depends under which flag the ship is sailing, if the captain is allowed to perform marriage.
But again, we’re talking about a (fictional) pirate crew so they sail under their own flag and who is to say that Luffy is not able to do it as a captain? Heck, if Luffy does not want to do it, Brook used to be a captain, Jinbe too.
So, if Franky and Robin decide to celebrate a wedding of any kind and promise in front of witnesses whatever they feel like that means to be married, then yes. These two will be married.
So, are Franky and Robin married?
Sadly, no. Because we didn’t see the wedding ceremony.
By the pure definition of it, as our modern understanding goes, Franky and Robin are not married.
But...
Can I still call them married?
Heck yeah! Because we all know what we mean by it: that they are in a consensual and committed relationship.
And so it does not matter if you think it’s an asexual or sexual relationship. It does not matter if they are also polyamorous or monogamous. It does not matter which gender or sexuality you headcanon.
You can also headcanon that they indeed had the party that made it all “official”. You can imagine it in any way you want because that is what is so beautiful about your own mind. No one can take that from you.
In conclusion...
Canon? No.
Fanon? You know it ;)
After all Robin already has her wedding dress:
Happy June, that is both pride month and apparently the best month to marry! ... Isn’t that an interesting coincidence?
PS. Feel free to use the exact same logic for any Strawhat Ship! Or any Pirate Ship for that matter.
#Frobin#One Piece#OP Meta#OP Analysis#Are Franky and Robin married?#Wedding in June#Headcanon#Analysis#pride month#canon#This took me way too long#huge shout out to Bones who did some beta reading#Also look at that dress#kon#Sorry for any remaining mistakes#they are my fault alone
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Eda learning to be Luz’s teacher
You know what? I have to wonder if the reason why Eda was initially so hesitant about teaching Luz magic, and constantly procrastinated on this fact… Was because she already knew that humans couldn’t do magic, and didn’t want to break the girl’s heart by being upfront about this fact? When Episode 2 starts, basically right after Eda sort of agrees to teach Luz without taking it too seriously, she’s in no rush. Eda even laughs off Luz’s dreams of being a chosen one, because she didn’t realize it meant that much to the kid! But then Eda sees how her cold rejection and mockery of Luz’s dreams led her to fall for Adegast’s trickery…
And after reassuring Luz with ideas of determining one’s fate, Eda realized that learning magic really DID mean a lot to Luz; And after the Adegast incident which she feels responsible for, Eda doesn’t want to disappoint Luz again, especially after initially being so harshly dismissive of Luz’s dreams. Eda was a kid who was very disappointed that she couldn’t learn all nine forms of magic, and she’s someone who’s determined not to put others through the same experiences that she had to suffer, first-hand and without guidance. I can see Eda wanting to avoid being the ‘Bump’ in this situation with Luz (especially since she kind of was), not wanting to trample on Luz’s dreams by being upfront that she can’t learn magic…
And considering how fond of Luz she is… I have to wonder if Eda deliberately procrastinated on the truth, because she also wanted to keep her around? This could parallel how Luz lied about knowing two spells to Amity in Adventures in the Elements… Eda could’ve also lied under the impression that Luz would no longer want to hang around with her anymore, because Eda might think that Luz is interested in Eda only for her ability to teach magic. If Eda can’t teach Luz magic, then what reason does Luz have to stick around, especially given Eda’s liability as a criminal… And later on as revealed in The Intruder, someone who can transform into a dangerous beast.
Eda’s used to being rejected by others because of her curse, because of her views on magic, etc. She’s used to rejection, so it’s what she naturally assumes that Luz is inclined towards… That she’s only hanging around Eda because she has no other choice. It’d recontextualize Eda’s grief upon seeing Luz seemingly enroll at Hexside in Episode 3, only to have some relief and even triumph when Luz is banned. Obviously Eda doesn’t want Luz to be indoctrinated, but I wonder if there’s some selfishness about wanting to keep Luz close, or at least a fear that Luz would show disinterest in Eda in favor of a more ‘traditional’ institution.
Which, again ties into how Luz was afraid that Amity wouldn’t be impressed by her lack of spells, and her assumption that Amity is only interested in Luz because of her unique skills as a witch… Because like Eda, Luz is undervaluing her own personal worth, and how THAT’s what draws people to her, not necessarily her skill in Magic! Luz and Eda could both have an issue with assuming their someone’s last choice, and not their deliberate first one… After all, it’s not exactly wrong of Eda to assume that whatever’s back home for Luz isn’t all too good, given how she chooses a random stranger who’s a criminal over it. To Eda, she could’ve assumed that Luz was driven more by a desire to avoid her home, than a desire to hang around Eda… And Eda doesn’t want to make Luz leave the Owl House, if Luz is apprehensive towards her home that much- Eda wants the best for the kid!
And while avoiding the Reality Camp was definitely PART of the reason, there was also Luz being genuinely enamored by Eda’s care for King, and her sentiments on weirdoes sticking together! Luz really wanted in on that dynamic! It’s another reason why Eda is so dazzled by Luz after she sticks around… Because even after knowing that there are different schools to learn magic traditionally, even after knowing that Eda’s criminal status could endanger her… Even after knowing that Eda couldn’t even teach her magic, and that Eda was a potential threat because of her curse- Luz still sticks around, because she likes Eda that much.
In Agony of a Witch, Eda makes a point of how she wants to pay back Luz for all of her kindness by giving her the Witch’s Wool Cloak. I think that after The Intruder, Eda legitimately invested time, effort, and research into Glyphs… Because not only did Luz show her that they existed and they were possible, thus kindling a hope in Eda’s heart to actually teach Luz magic; But I think Eda felt indebted towards the girl. That she really wanted to prove herself to Luz, and be the role model that Luz thinks she is… Like the Good Witch Azura, ironically- Despite Eda’s apprehension towards the saccharine sweetness of those books, she’ll gladly be Azura for Luz, if it makes the girl happy.
And, this realization of her bond with Luz, could’ve played a part in Eda getting over her apprehension towards Hexside, swallowing her pride to enroll Luz in. Because by the end of the day, Eda recognizes that she just wants the best for Luz, that she doesn’t want to selfishly keep the girl to herself, and inhibit Luz in the process (which could be antithetical to how Lilith felt about Eda but I digress). It’s that “If you love me let me go” meme, except it’s Eda feeling like Luz is better off without her, to an extent… And while she IS right about her own shortcomings as a teacher, or at least that Luz deserves to learn from more than one source- I think there’s still that lingering insecurity that Eda has to live up to what Luz wants her to be, that cool, powerful witch.
That makes it sweet when Luz makes it clear to Eda, mutually, during the Season Finale –when the two reunite at the Conformatorium- that she really loves Eda for who she is, and would give up everything for her… And Eda sees that Luz’s love for her has become unconditional. And similarly, Eda reassures Luz that she loves the girl, that Luz doesn’t have to feel like she owes her anything… Just being with one another, or at least seeing the other be happy, is enough. When Eda tells Luz to save herself, it’s not a rejection of their companionship as Luz fears; It’s Eda prioritizing Luz. Regardless, both Luz and Eda learn that while they want the best for the other, they shouldn’t disregard how much they meant to their loved one either- That maybe their loved one isn’t better off without them, because they DO care…! Eda may prioritize Luz, but she should also value her relationship with the girl as well, because Luz appreciates it too. Even if Luz’s safety comes above her companionship with Eda, who’s to say Eda has to choose between Luz’s safety, and being with the girl- Why can’t she have both, as Luz would defiantly ask?
There’s nothing to worry about, you’re not parasitically dragging down your loved one with your connection to them, you don’t have to worry about being good enough for them, or being on their level… What you’ve got going on, is good enough just as it is! You’re not holding them back from a better choice, you ARE that loved one’s choice, first and foremost, and you should remember that they had agency when they decided to stick with you! Don’t undersell yourself, and trust in your loved one’s judgment if they decided to hang around with you after all- They have good taste too, believe it or not. Luz is special to Eda, because she validates Eda by seeing her as someone to look up to and emulate, and that encourages Eda to be a true role model in her own right, and live up to those expectations. It gives Eda a purpose in life, when up until then there was that lingering regret that her existence had been wasted. Of course with Luz, she encourages Eda to be the best she can be, but doesn’t necessarily hold it against her if she isn’t…
So when Luz discovers glyphs and does the impossible, Eda is inspired to do the same- If this kid can do it, so can she! Eda CAN learn to teach magic to this human, after all… So she does her research off-screen. It’s worth noting that Covention happens immediately after The Intruder, as a follow-up to Eda’s change of heart as she decides to be truly serious about teaching Luz magic… And how Luz and Amity are set up to duel one another as representatives of their teachers’ own skills. Eda’s pride comes into play when Lilith assumes that Luz is a terrible Witch, and it also comes into play when Luz mentions how Eda’s apprentice not knowing two spells is a bad look for Eda herself…
But at the end of Covention, Luz asks Eda if she’ll ever be a great witch. And we see here that while Eda may have her pride play a little into making Luz learn magic… In the end, she doesn’t expect Luz to be a great witch, just for Eda’s pride. She’s not going to be disappointed in Luz, nor herself. She tells Luz that she’s not beholden to anyone else’s definition of a witch, and that Eda doesn’t truly expect Luz to win on her behalf, for the sake of making Eda look good. Luz can fail all she wants, do her progress at her own pace- It’s why Eda reassures Luz about being a quitter in The First Day, or how she tells Luz that it’s okay that she wasn’t able to take on Grom singlehandedly like she thought she could! It IS also worth noting that Luz wouldn’t be allowed to do magic at all if she lost the Covention duel, so Eda could’ve had that altruistic reasoning behind making Luz cheat- She doesn’t want Luz to lose her chance at magic, after having just discovered it!
Regardless, it contrasts with Lilith, who DOES have that expectation for Amity to do well, to live up to Lilith’s image and pride… And how Lilith cares so much more for maintaining her own reputation as a teacher, that she makes Amity cheat without her knowledge nor consent, instead of being genuinely interested in gauging Amity’s current skill and progress, and working with that. Lilith was more interested in how she looked to Eda and others as a teacher, than Amity’s actual ability at magic. The possibility of Amity losing is inexcusable for Lilith, that she really goes out of her way to attach the Power Glyph even though her victory should be guaranteed, amidst Lilith rightfully suspecting Eda would cheat of course.
And that, of course, tells Amity that she is not allowed to lose, that failure is no option… And it just contributes to the pressure and expectations on her, and how she’s not allowed to make mistakes and learn from them, and when she DOES make mistakes, Amity thinks it’s the end of the world and that there’s nothing to salvage from the situation, whatsoever. It conditions Amity to see everything she does as a reflection and extension of others and not her own skills and belief in herself, and that she can’t just enjoy things for the sake of only her happiness. And Amity really undervalues how it’s a lot of her own skill that got her where she is, and not JUST the guidance of a great teacher.
Lilith was showing a disrespectful lack of confidence in Amity, that she doesn’t really trust the girl, not enough to do something that should be so easy and simple, and it hurts because to Amity it means she’s never good enough, and that maybe there’s something wrong with her that sparks this kind of distrust in her ability; To the point where Lilith can’t even be upfront about her lack of faith in Amity and the application of the Power Glyph, because she doesn’t think the girl can take criticism. That will just make Amity question if people ever really mean it when they praise her; And in turn, lead her to assume that people are secretly lying whenever they tell her that she did good, or at least didn’t do wrong.
But, I digress. Eda reiterates to Luz at the end of Covention that she doesn’t really care if Luz would’ve won or not (unless it meant Luz losing her chance at magic), which connects to how Luz and Amity’s duel had no definitive winner and was a tie, and a total mess of a match. In contrast to Lilith, who neither reassures Amity, nor does anything to actually check up on the girl afterwards, instead focusing on Eda… Which, Eda IS her sister and she misses her a lot, and Lilith doesn’t get to see Eda often so she’ll milk every last moment with her, but still.
Either way, Eda considers how she just wants Luz to learn magic for Luz’s own sake, not for Eda’s expectations of her- And while there is the joke of Luz playing into Eda’s pride by getting her to take her to the knee, it’s worth noting that Eda clearly had done her research well before this was brought up, and also that Luz actually needs to know two spells so she can avoid the Baby Class, and learn Magic as she’d like to. And Eda, Eda is a very tsundere character when it comes to affection- So I can see her passing off bringing Luz to the knee as just wanting to look good as a teacher, when in reality it’s because Luz really cares about this and Eda wants to provide.
I could also get into potential insecurity on Eda’s behalf on failing Luz as a teacher, so she tries to avoid teaching lessons to begin with… You get the idea. Like I said, Luz brings up Eda’s pride because she’s using every reason to learn a second spell because of how desperate she is, as well as the fact that she still has insecurities over paying back Eda for her kindness, through being a great student and thus a reflection of Eda’s skill as a teacher, until Eda reassures Luz once and for all that her love is unconditional in the Season Finale.
Which, connects us to the idea of Eda not being able to be the conventional, magical teacher that Luz wanted… But she’s still an incredibly potent mentor in her own way, in the important life-lessons she instills Luz with. Amidst Luz proving her own worth as a self-taught learner, making her progress with magic all the more difficult and painstaking to further the disability metaphor, and the idea of Luz and Eda mutually teaching and learning from one another, because they respect one another. It’s all tied up in the final moments of the Season Finale, when Eda can no longer be the teacher she wanted to be for Luz, and is now just a student alongside her- Frequently learning FROM Luz, in fact!
And Luz… not only does Luz love Eda regardless of magic, but the two of them mutually look forward to the lessons they could have, together. Eda doesn’t have to be the magical teacher that Luz wanted- That frees her up to express vulnerability by being a Magic Student like Luz, acknowledging her shortcomings so Eda can get Luz the best teachers she can… And Luz recognizing Eda’s value as a teacher in a different sense. Luz and Eda both show, teach, and illuminate one another- Individually great on their own, but when combined, Luz and Eda make an unstoppable pair! Before losing her magic, Eda was already learning about glyphs with her research; Now she gets to do it alongside Luz, and has a reason to for both of them.
#the owl house#owl house#the owl house eda#edalyn clawthorne#the owl house luz#luz noceda#the owl house lilith#lilith clawthorne#meta#speculation
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