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tirfpikachu · 4 months

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seeing feminist events and protests etc being ruined breaks my fucking heart :( like what do they think they're even accomplishing? even if they hate radfems there should be alternatives to just thrashing every feminist good deed radfems do for women in their often impoverished communities

if AT LEAST they had been working hard replacing it with their own trans-positive feminist version or whatever in the area that would've been one thing. but often they just destroy and just go aha! job well done, that'll teach those bitches. when women in those communities actually really truly need these things and all they do is ruin those resources for others and losing the movement activists that the movement badly needs. if they only knew that other activist movements that they respectfully bow down to ARE ALSO FULL OF WOMEN WHO HOLD RADFEM BELIEFS!!! and if every woman who thought that sex mattered, which is especially common with woc from outside the west or with family outside the west since they know first-hand how horrifyingly bad oppression can get for afab people, if they all had gotten called out cancelled banished from the spaces etc the movements would've failed before they even began and that would've led to SO MUCH more marginalized suffering!!!!

i truly believe that these kinds of extreme trans activists tend to be more on the privileged side outside of being afab, and use that activism as a way to prove they're not bigots like their white middle-class parents were nope they're radical and they fight the cistem and are cooler than those freaky bigoted genitals-obsessed gays and transsexuals... the same ones that fought hard for decades to earn them all the rights they currently enjoy and were oppressed on the basis of being same-sex attracted and are now being thrown out of pride events

it's also interesting with different cultures, bc for example with french instances of trans activists going batshit, the french world is much newer to the concept of gender identity than english folks, like there's SOOO many stolen english words that young french qweer activists are trying to awkwardly make a Thing in french spaces and they have the intense righteousness of trans english tumblr but the people around them are just like huh ????? bc the words and the concept of gender identity just aren't as widespread in french spaces, esp since our language is so sex-based. it makes them feel even more like martyrs and seeing the entire french world as bigoted. it makes for some wild shit in france like sex-based feminist events being trashed and cis feminists being assaulted and only english radfems hear of it and call it out, bc english trans activists don't care about news like these, it makes them all look bad and they assume it's all just elaborate fox news type shit or cis women are being dramatic again

i just think that the way trans activists are treating the feminism vs gender identity divide is really unproductive, surprisingly violent, very dangerous, and negatively impacts the afab women who need feminist events and protests etc the most. especially woc, disabled women, senior women, and other women w few resources. i'm seeing women being turned away from SHELTERS and other life-saving resources for using the words man/woman in a sex-based way or wanting only people with vaginas in trauma victim spaces for safety and healing reasons. would a homeless dude spouting the same language be turned away from a shelter or lead to activists rallying and protesting outside the shelter for daring to home him bc he's unsafe for transmasc people??? would a trans activist say nope we shouldn't give him a safe home we shouldn't give him a space in a shelter we should record him and post a video of him and shame him and laugh at him???? I REALLY DON'T THINK SO

#rambling #radblr #gender critical

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sketchy-saram · 3 years

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Hey everyone! I realize Pride Month just ended, but I wanted to talk about Asexuality for a minute, so I hope you'll indulge me since I have no idea what day it is normally and missed the obvious chance xD

So my discovery that I was Ace happened when I was in Korea circa 2016, although I'd heard of it a few years before, from the Girls with Slingshots web comic! Both of these things occurred long after I was already an adult, however, and its existence is something I sorely wish I'd known about as a teenager. Hence, I'd really like to spread information about Asexuality to those who might not know anything, so you can be more comfortable with the idea, more informed, and perhaps pass that information to others around you who might be confused and questioning themselves! Pass it on, save a life! (Or at least a LOT of heartache and confusion!) If you already know stuff, great! You’re awesome! <3

So what IS Asexuality? Is it like, budding? Haha, funny joke. (Not really.) Asexuality is simply the lack of sexual attraction to anyone. It is an umbrella term for a lot of different classifications of Aces, but that's the basics. Allosexuals would be what is considered 'normal'--people who do experience sexual attraction. And yes, this is completely different from ROMANTIC attraction! But we'll get to that a bit later!

Why are Asexuals considered part of the LGBTQIA+ rainbow? Well, it's right there in the letters! The A never stood for ally--it always meant Asexual. We've been there since the very beginning! The Queer community envelopes all people whose gender and sexual identities fall outside the norm--so when our society, and humanity as a whole, so idealizes sex and sexual relations, I think not feeling those urges more than qualifies us! And if that weren't enough, Asexuals experience plenty of stigma and harassment--even gatekeeping from within the community, which is extremely unfortunate. In fact, in online social spaces, ESPECIALLY tumblr, Asexuality went through a major witchhunt about 5 years ago, where the waves of anti-Ace rhetoric were so bad that they basically eradicated the community and forced aces back into the closet. Things are better now, but the ramifications are still sorely felt. Aces also have a much higher chance of unstable relationships, as sex and the desire to have sex plays such a large role in romantic relationships. If you are allosexual, imagine being in a relationship where your partner never wants to have sex, and trying to understand that that doesn't reflect at all on you or how much they love you. It's hard, right? I'm not saying that Ace/Allo relationships can't happen, but it takes a LOT of work and communication!! (Uhm, and also plenty of allo people just have a low libido, so please remember not to be forcing your partners into unwanted sexual activities!!)

So let's talk more about the specific wording. 'Sexual attraction'. Simply put, that is the feeling when you look at someone, and you KNOW that you want to have sexual relations with them. Your body has reactions that might let you know this, like an erection, and you could imagine yourself doing those things. Aces aren't like that! We don't have those urges. I could go the rest of my life happily not having sex--and I've never looked at someone and wanted to do that. Now, like I said, there are quite a few umbrella versions, but that is the general description. Important things to note however: Asexual people CAN CHOOSE to have sex! If you're an Allo who has ever done it with someone you weren't exactly turned on by, then you can understand what I'm talking about. Some Aces can even ENJOY the act of sex! The two aren't necessarily related--remember, we're just talking about lacking the basic spark of sexual attraction. On the flip side, some Aces are so sex repulsed that the very idea makes them sick. If you know an Ace person, you should ask their opinion on sex before you talk about it with them--it might make them EXTREMELY uncomfortable! On that note, plenty of Asexual people are in the kink community, and enjoy BDSM. How can that be, you might ask? Well, for one, read above again about Aces and Sexual relations. But also, if you aren't in those communities, you may not realize just how much power plays into that. Some people enjoy the power play more than the sex!! So if your knee-jerk reaction to finding out someone is Ace and has sex is to think they are 'faking it', please...don't. You can't know what a person's internal workings are like.

So, why would an Asexual person want a relationship? How would that even work, anyway? Isn't it just like being friends? Well I'm glad you asked! Remember earlier when I said that Asexuality is only about the lack of SEXUAL attraction? ROMANTIC attraction has its own categories! Aromantics are people who aren't ROMANTICALLY attracted to other people. I won't get into that here, but suffice it to say that Aces can be as romantic and loving as anyone else, and many want a happy relationship! As for being like friends--imagine your partner or spouse. If you suddenly couldn't have sex with them, would it feel like the two of you were 'just friends'? No, of course not! Romantic attachment forms bonds that are completely different from platonic friendship. Lack of sex isn't the only thing that keeps your friendships from being 'romantic relationships', and if it is, you, uh...might want to reevaluate some things!!

A few other common items I want to mention before I bring this quick Ace 101 course to a close: Is being Ace just like being celibate? Not at all! Choosing to remain celibate is just that--a CHOICE. Someone who is celibate still has all their natural sexual attraction, they are just choosing not to act on those feelings for whatever reason. Aces don't have those urges, or that natural sexual attraction!

Can you become Asexual through trauma or other reasons? The long and the short answer is: Yes. One of the great things about the LGBTQIA+ community is that you should be free to come and go as you discover more about your own truth. That is also why gatekeeping is so dangerous--you shouldn't have to 'register' as Gay or Ace or Trans, or present as those things in a way that suits other people. If you, in your heart, find that one of these labels suits you, then that is what you are for now! Gender and sexuality are a journey most people aren't encouraged to discover until they're older. If you realize you are Ace at 70, you are just as valid as someone who found out earlier, or someone who underwent severe trauma and now no longer feels sexual attraction. If YOU are comfortable with where you're at, that's the only thing that matters! But if it is something that causes you distress, then please look into it. Sometimes lack of sexual attraction IS caused by physical or psychological factors that can be reversed. (Although again, more often than not it simply causes lack of libido, not necessarily lack of attraction.)

Last but not least...what's the thing with the cake? Haha! Good question! When Aces were beginning to find one another and set up their own communities, several inside jokes began to emerge. Imagery of ace playing cards, dragons, 'space ace', and of course cake, sprang up as quirky ways to reference that. The idea being that you would rather have cake than sex!!

I really hope I didn't miss anything obvious, but I'm just writing this on the fly because realizing my Asexuality was such a huge stepping-stone on my path to being more comfortable with myself, and understanding myself as a whole. I spent my teenage years terrified of and yearning for a relationship--the reason being, of course, that in my mind, dating and sex went hand in hand, and I wanted the one but was terrified of the other. So many people take sexual attraction for granted, without realizing how alienating that can be for people who DON'T feel that attraction. It's pervasive!! It's everywhere! And then to be treated as though that expectation isn't as all-encompassing as it is, or that it actually doesn't exist at all, is cultural gaslighting.

Anyway! I hope everyone had a wonderful pride month. <3 Hope to see you for the next one! Have an awesome July as well, what the heck! And if you have any questions about Asexuality, my messages are always open. I aim to inform. (And feel free to share this if you want!! Knowledge is power, but making things that seem awkward to talk about less taboo is ALSO power!)

#Pride month #Asexual pride #Asexuality #Ace #Forgive me if any of the details here are inaccurate or exaggerated #I'm not a doctor or a Queer Historian #just an Ace person trying to make asexuality more well known #this is obviously more for allos/cis/het people than people in the queer community #if you have anything to add feel free to stick it in the comments #but please be kind!#<3 #long post #text post #sketchy talks

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nerdygaymormon · 4 years

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Pride Flags

1979 – Pride flag

At the request of Harvey Milk, Gilbert Baker designed a symbol of pride for the gay community to debut at the 1979 San Francisco Gay Freedom Day (at the time, gay was an umbrella term that included what we now would call the queer community). The original flag included 8 colors.

When Harvey Milk was assassinated, many wanted the Pride flag he commissioned as a symbol of the community. Demand was so great that there wasn’t enough hot pink fabric, and then to keep the design balanced, turquoise was also dropped.

This 6-color striped flag is recognized as a symbol by queer people around the world no matter who they are, how they define, or who they love.

Here are the meanings behind the colors in the Pride flag:

Red = Life

Orange = Healing

Yellow = Sunlight

Green = Nature

Blue = Harmony

Violet = Spirit

1995 – Polyamory Pride flag

Blue : representing openness and honesty among all partners

Red : representing love and passion

Black : representing solidarity with those who must hide their polyamorous relationships from the outside world

In the center of the flag is a gold Greek lowercase letter "pi", as the first letter of "polyamory". Gold represents "the value that we place on the emotional attachment to others... as opposed to merely primarily physical relationships".

There have been a number of alternative flags developed by the polyamory community since 1995 that incorporate both the original colors and the infinity heart sign, which represents the infinite love for multiple partners at the same time. The heart represents love and the lemniscate represents openness rather than infinity/ eternity.

1998 – Bisexual Pride flag

Michael Page designed this flag in order to raise the visibility of bisexuals, both in and out of the LGBT community. Page said the message of the flag was the idea that the purple blends into both the blue and pink in the same way that bisexual people often blend unnoticed into both gay and straight communities. The flag is inspired from the “biangles,” which are two overlapping triangles in the stereotypical colors for boys and girls.

Michael wanted to avoid pink triangles as they were used by Nazi Germany to brand gay men. He also slightly changed the shades of the colors.

Page describes the meaning of the colors in the flag as:

Pink : represents sexual attraction to the same sex only (gay and lesbian)

Blue : sexual attraction to the opposite sex only (straight)

Purple : the resultant overlap color represents sexual attraction to both sexes (bi)

2000 – Transgender Pride flag

Monica Helms, a trans woman, designed this flag and it was first flown at the 2000 Pride Parade in Phoenix.

Monica explains, “The pattern is such that no matter which way you fly it, it will always be correct. This symbolizes us trying to find correctness in our own lives.”

Light blue is the traditional color for baby boys

Pink is for girls

White in the middle is for those who are transitioning, those who feel they have a neutral gender or no gender, and those who are intersex

Late 2000’s – Ally Pride flag

The “A” represents allies & activism and it’s in the rainbow colors that represents the queer community.

The black and white bars represent opposites, since allies are cis & attracted to opposite sex/gender on the binary

2010 – Pansexual Pride flag

This flag is used to increase visibility and recognition of the pansexual community, and to distinguish it from bisexuality. The pansexual flag consists of three colored horizontal bars.

Pink : represents those who identify within the female spectrum (regardless of biological sex)

Blue : represents those who identify within the male spectrum (regardless of biological sex)

Yellow : represents non-binary attraction, such as androgynous, agender, bigender and genderfluid people.

2010 – Asexual Pride flag

A contest was held to create an Asexual Flag. A flag of striped colors was chosen as it fits with the designs of most other Pride flags and avoids controversy that could be had if symbols were included.

Black: Asexuality.

Grey: Grey-Asexuality and Demisexuality.

White: Non-asexual partners and allies.

Purple: Community

2011 – Genderqueer Pride flag

Created by Marilyn Roxie. For people who are uncomfortable with the word “queer,” they refer to this as a nonbinary flag

Lavender – androgyny

White – agender

Green – nonbinary

2012 – Genderfluid Pride flag

JJ Poole created this flag.

Pink : feminity

Blue : masculinity

Purple : both masculinity & feminity

Black : lack of gender

White : for all genders

2012 – Polysexual Pride flag

A Tumblr user who is a poly individual with the signature “Samlin” submitted this design. He made it similar to the bi and pan flags, since they’re all in under the multisexual umbrella.

Samlin felt it important distinguish polysexuals from the others--Bi who are attracted to people from 2 genders, and Pan who are attracted to people regardless of gender. Poly is someone who is sexually attracted to multiple, but not all, genders.

The flag uses the blue and pink, as does the bi & pan flags, but replaces the purple and yellow stripes with a green one.

Pink: attraction to female-identified people.

Green: attraction to people who identify outside the traditional male-female binary.

Blue: attraction to male-identified people

2013 – Demisexual Pride flag

Similar colors to the Asexual Pride flag, the Demisexual Pride flag was created specifically to represent those with “a sexual orientation in which someone feels sexual attraction only to people with whom they have an emotional bond”

Black stands for asexuality

Grey represents Gray-Ace and demisexuality

White represents sexuality

Purple represents community

2013 – Intersex Pride flag

The intersex flag was created by Morgan Carpenter of Intersex Human Rights Australia.

The flag features nongendered colors that celebrate living outside the binary. The circle means unbroken, whole, complete.

2014 – Agender Pride flag

Created by Salem X, this flag has seven horizontal stripes.

The black and white stripes represent an absence of gender (instead of being blue & pink)

The gray represents semi-genderlessness

The central green stripe represents nonbinary genders because it is the inverse of purple and purple is a mix of blue & red which often are used to identify m/f binary.

2014 – Nonbinary Pride flag

Created by activist Kye Rowan, it is intended to go alongside Marilyn Roxie’s genderqueer flag, not to replace it. Each stripe color represents different types of non-binary identities:

Yellow is for those whose gender exists outside or without reference to the gender binary, because yellow is often seen to distinguish something as its own

White is for those with many or multiple genders as white represents the presence of color or light

Purple for those who feel their gender is a mixture of both male and female genders as purple is the mix of traditional boy & girl colors. The purple also could be seen as representing the fluidity and uniqueness of nonbinary people.

Black is for individuals who feel they are without gender, as black is the absence of color or light

2014 – Aromantic Pride flag

The Aro community worked together to create a flag and redesigned it several times before eventually landing on this 5-striped flag. Here’s the meaning of the stripes:

Green – Aromantic. This color chosen because it’s the opposite of red, which is commonly used to indicate romance

Light Green – represents that there is an aro spectrum, not everyone is 100% aro

White – Platonic relationships

Gray – represents gray-romantic (experiences romantic attraction, but not often) and demiromantic (can experience romantic attraction after forming an emotional connection with a person)

Black – represents the sexuality spectrum (aro people can have any sexual orientation)

2017 – Philadelphia People of Color Inclusive Flag

Noting that people of color are often not fully included in the queer community, Philadelphia added the black and brown stripes and flew the flag outside City Hall for Pride Month.

While the impulse to be more inclusionary is good, this flag sparked controversy as the traditional flag already was meant to include all LGBTQ people and none of the other colored stripes represent skin color. And some people argued additional stripes should be added, such a white stripe for white people.

In times when people of color need to be lifted & highlighted, this flag does a good job.

2018 – Lesbian Pride flag

You’ll find a lesbian flag from 2010 included in the list of flags for gender and sexual minorities, however it’s not common for lesbians to use that flag. The reason is that pink flag was seen as representing those who have a more feminine gender expression (lipstick lesbians), which means it didn’t feel inclusive to much of the lesbian community.

A new flag for the lesbian community was introduced in 2018, one with much less pink and meant to represent all lesbians, not just a subset. It seems to be on its way to being better accepted, but we’ll see. Each color represents key aspects of lesbianism:

Transgressive Womanhood

Community

Gender Nonconformity

Freedom

Love

2018 - Progress Pride Flag

Inspired by the Philadelphia People of Color Inclusive Flag, Daniel Quasar added a 5-color chevron to the traditional LGBT Rainbow Flag as a way to emphasize greater inclusion and progress.

The traditional 6 color stripes are retained so as not to take away from their original meanings.

The additional stripes added to the left side of the flag are meant to look like an arrow to represent forward movement because more progress is needed.

The pink, light blue and white are from the Transgender Pride Flag.

The black & brown stripes represent LGBT communities of color and those living with & who’ve been lost to AIDS.

#pride #pride flags

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aspidities · 3 years

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Hi! I'm a 23 year old transmasc person. I haven't dated or had any sort of physical relationship with anyone since the end of high school and so have never had or used toys with anyone. I've got pretty bad sexual bottom dysphoria and I want to be able to use a strap in the future (sex without it was very one sided) but it's a really daunting idea to me. I feel embarrassed and insecure just thinking about it. Do you have any advice on getting past that/reframing stuff mentally? Thank you!

Hi, here you are! You did send me this ask a while ago, and I’m sorry. I am usually just trying to be responsible about how I frame my responses since I know a lot of folks take what I say firmly to heart and that matters to me....but then sometimes I get stoned and forget about that intent and the ask entirely.

Firstly, let’s talk about bottom dysphoria and thank you for bringing this up so we can address it— we need to speak about how it is not inherently ‘feminine’ to receive pleasure or become submissive. These are not ‘non masculine’ traits—these are just things we do as silly hairless apes trying to touch each other’s naughty bits! I know that is hard to internalize, though, because Society, for one, and Conditioning, for another, and the combination of the two is lethal to most folks, not just trans folks. Everyone experiences the loss of self when society waggles it’s weird collective finger at what we find pleasurable. It’s not okay. We have to find a way to say ‘hey fuck you’ to that finger waggling, and also to that voice inside that may speak on behalf of that conditioning—because neither has your best interests at heart. You know who you are. Don’t go to the dark place where someone yells at you that you’re wrong. You know what light is, and light is not a lie.

That applies to sex just as much as it does anything else, and I hope you all know I’m saying it to all of you.

When it comes to bottoming as a masc person, I would lovingly and warmly invite you to take a look at how cis gay men have treated it for centuries—it’s hot. Gay men have a great approach to bottoming, and it’s safer to draw our masculinity from our own community than it is from the heterosexual one, wouldn’t you agree? Look at all the freedom you see in 70s heavy leather art—Tom of Finland was truly on some shit, my dude. He understood maleness in a way that transcends beyond gender sometimes, and sometimes just absolutely wallows in it. BDSM erotica in our community was a freedom to Be that was beyond a pride flag, and beyond a coveted status in the white wide world. It was Us. You can find that same freedom! But look within, and not without! Look at our history, our culture. It’s not their way, it’s Ours. You can be a sexy masc bottom in this culture, oh my god, can you ever. You need to see and believe and experience that truth, because it’s all around you. There are sexy trans masc bottom boys on Tumblr! Go find and follow them and begin to feel like you can copy what they do, at first, until you start to find your own feet with it. It’s just like anything—you have to practice it. Take a strap that you like and focus on packing with it while jerking off. It doesn’t have to come naturally at first. That doesn’t make you a failure. It just takes trial and error until one time you’re like OH and it clicks. That’s all there is to it.

I wish you so much luck with that hot horny journey of self discovery!

#ask me #transmasc asks #bottom stuff #sub stuff

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thewebcomicsreview · 4 years

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So I've been following this one guy who gives really good writing advice, but lately he's been: telling people it's OK to skip the Intermission in Homestuck; defending bad writing as a "structural issue" (those poor writers, it's not their fault they've structured their story / writing process in a bad way); priding himself on making a half-assed "unfinished-on-purpose" comic review. This person was my main source of writing advice, so I don't know where to turn to. Any recommendations?

The only other webcomic review guys I’m aware of are the Bad Webcomics Wiki, but if you think I’m too nice on writers, they might be up your speed anyway and oh my god they just posted a review of a SpiderForest comic. Guess it’s time for

The Webcomic Review Reviews Webcomic Reviews

So, this is a review of a SpiderForest comic called “The Guide to a Healthy Relationship” which is a comic about LGBT people, and it’s being reviewed by the Bad Webcomics Wiki, so obviously there’s going to be a whole bunch of slurs, so consider that a content warning and I’m putting the rest of this behind a ReadMore

This is going to be slightly disjointed because the BWW review is disjointed, but I’ll do my best

We’re already in some factual trouble right on line one, since TGtaHR is a traditional webcomic and not a long-scroll mobile-friendly webtoon, nor is it hosted on webtoons.com. Is this nitpicky? Maybe a little, but we’re off to a poor start here.

This comic is just under 200 pages.

I feel like if you’re going to write a big thing attacking a webcomic’s story, you should try to have some kind of understanding of what that story is. I know what the story of Sinfest is, and Sinfest is a confusing nightmare.

Okay, so maybe the reason you think this story is bad is because it’s 2deep4u.

So, in the space of about twenty pages, we learn that Apollo had a friend named Julian who killed himself, and then we cut ahead to Julian drinking on the job, going to a party, taking drunks, and waking up naked in the bathtub covered in beer bottles, and the living room is full of too-hot-for-tumblr passed-out drunks. The Bad Webcomics Wiki calls this “Softcore porn that is never brought up again”, because the Bad Webcomics Wiki is written by high school dropouts for an audience they presume has never read the comic proper.

This debauchery is never brought up again because it’s not relevant to the plot, it’s relevant to the character. Apollo is fucked up because his friend killed himself when he was a teenager, and he deals with being fucked up by retreating into sex, drugs, and rock and roll. That’s what’s being established here. Also being established if you’re paying attention: Apollo has scars on his chest.

In chapter 1, Apollo goes to a party, the entirety of which is dedicated to him walking around naked, and we get a bunch of obviously sexual shots of his dick, clearly catering to the author's gay fetish. His boss goes to his place to check on him, and it is revealed he is a hoarder. This never comes up again.

1. In this scene, there are two panels where you can see Apollo’s penis, one panel where you can see someone’s vomit-covered dick, and two panels where you can see a woman’s breasts. None of these panels of flacid dicks or sagging boobs are sexual, though. The dicks are unpowered, it doesn’t make a bit of difference guys, the balls are inert.

2. What the fuck is a “gay fetish” and how it different from just “being gay”.

3. I don’t know the author, even though we’re both in SpiderForest, so I don’t know where Dani The Carutor lies in the whole gender spectrum thingamabob, but I will note that “Dani” is usually short for Danielle. So maybe it’s not a safe assumption that the author is a man? I dunno. That’s just me, guessing people’s genders by screen name is hard, so I try not to lest I embarrass myself.

4.So, when you say Apollo is a “hoarder”, you link to a page showing his room is disgusting and covered in garbage

Is your takeaway from these panels....that Apollo is some kind of fanatic garbage collector? That his room is full of garbage because he actively works at having as much garbage as possible because he wants it?

There are a couple pages explaining Apollo's purple special snowflake eyes with some snowflake "disability".

Apollo has Ocular Albinism, which is a real condition that really exists, and really does give you purple eyes. It also gives you major vision problems, which are the context in which it gets brought up, because Apollo needs help crossing the road because he can’t see well enough in the light. So I don’t know what the scare quotes around “disability” are for. He can’t see. You could, if you were so inclined, connect this plot point with the way the chapter titles are named after mental conditions, and start to formulate some coherent critique with the seemingly cavalier way this comic uses disability, but that would require thought. It might even require research into difficult topics, because you’d ideally not want to make a fool of yourself talking about things you didn’t understand well enough to talk competently about.

Chapter 2 is the most pointless, as it is basically there to confirm what we already know so the author can insert a cringy buzzword (see image below)

Okay, so a couple of things

1. In what fucking universe is “tranny” an SJW buzzword? What the fuck are you even talking about?

2. Having the protagonist of your comic say someone is “smart, for a tranny” is like the least SJW thing you could possibly do.

3. Perhaps “Apollo is asking someone for help but casually insults her causing her to leave” is some kind of “character” moment? The author of this review is so /pol/-poisoned that they have no ability to understand “context” or “characterization” or basically any thing that exists.

4.Your list of the comic’s characters includes this bon mot:

So what the fuck? That’s so stupid I’d think it was an intentionally hypocritical joke if I had any reason to believe you were capable of it.

Chapter 3 is dedicated to revealing the boyfriend shit

I should point out that Apollo and Julian being boyfriends is something the BWW invented, the comic itself clearly states they were “best friends”, not boy friends. Couple of dudes being prudes.

Apollo believes that Julian faked his own death, which fucked up Apollo for years, and now that they’ve met each other Julian keeps ghosting him. Apollo’s motives for chasing Julian around are extremely clear.

That’s a scene transition, bay-bee!

Apollo finally gets ahold of Julian. Julian blows him off and Apollo gives up. There’s then a clear scene transition to Apollo, at a restaurant, talking about what we just saw. This is a perfectly clear scene transition, with a transitory panel and everything to indicate that this is the next day. It’s certainly more clear than Apollo waking up in jail in chapter 2 which you skipped over. Are you actually reading this comic at all?

You are such a fucking moron, holy shit.

Julian got beat up for being trans. It’s unclear if he’s actually trans or just a feminine-looking cis dude, but regardless it was bad enough to traumatize him and this all happened when he knew Apollo, who calls Julian his “best friend”, and says things like

There’s literally two dots here, and you’re unable to connect them. Galia even has the same hairstyle as Julian to make it visually obvious This Is What The Reference and you still missed it.

Julian and Apollo walk around the woods in their underwear for no reason whatsoever. Julian takes some drugs or something, and passes out?

Hm. Why does Julian go outside at night? I wonder if that’s explained in the comic?

Oh, I see. He went outside to smoke. But why did Apollo go outside at night?

Oh, he was looking out the window and saw Julian mysteriously go off into the woods. I guess that’s explained, too. I guess you just missed those pages

Julian takes some drugs or something, and passes out?

Huh, I wonder why Julian was asleep

Oh, he has Insomnia, so he took something called Halcion. I wonder what that is.

Oh, it’s a prescription insomnia medication. And you shouldn’t take alcohol with it, wow Julian is dealing with a super pushy alcoholic I should file that information away for later, like how knowing Wellbutrin’s side effects in teenagers were critical to understand Drop Out. Luckily webcomics are comics, on the web, and I can look this up!

He is then woken up by the fatty side character punching him. Somehow, Julian destroyed the kitchen, even though he was passed out - this is never explained, and makes no fucking sense

Sigh.

So, here are some hints as to what happened.

Julian has bruises all over his body, which you have consistently failed to notice.

Daniel, Julian’s friendly boyfriend, has like no negative reaction whatsoever to Brandon, some random dude, punching Julian in the fucking face

He even takes Brandon’s side and basically implants the idea that Julian did it into Julian’s head, and that last panel is rather threatening.

Julian took insomnia medicine, and fell asleep, and then got wrongfully blamed for destroying the kitchen by Daniel, who know’s that Julian was passed out and couldn’t have done it. Who actually did destroy the kitchen is a mystery, but Daniel is the most likely culprit.

it transitions into this trippy bullshit with blood, and body horror, and Julian's hair is suddenly short

It’s short because it’s a flashback to when he was a teenager, and he had short hair when he was a teenager so that literate people are able to understand this without getting confuzzled.

Apollo turning into Daniel in this trippy dream sequence is also pretty relevant!

Also, we have random nudity and sexualization of this sick person.

No, we have reveals that he’s in worse physical shape than we thought.

By the way, in your character list, you describe Daniel as

Daniel (Side Character): He may as well be a wall. This guy has no personality whatsoever. No quirks, no interests, no purpose outside of causing superficial melodrama.

If you’ve made it all the way to this point and not picked up on Daniel being an abusive boyfriend and the primary antagonist of the story, you may be beyond hope.

The rest of the chapter is Julian being angsty, and SO ILL while everyone talks about how weird he is

Again, that’s very clearly and obviously not actually what’s happening in the story.

What’s happening isn’t “Julian is sick lol”, it’s “Daniel is working to turn everyone against Julian”. That’s why he destroyed the kitchen and blamed Julian for it; to ensure that the other boys all thought Julian was a nutjob and thus keep them from reaching out to Julian and providing Julian with a guide to a healthy relationship instead of the abusive one he’s currently in. Your inability to read even slightly between the lines isn’t just distressing in terms of your inability to think critically about stories, it’s maybe worrisome re your ability to think about the real world, too. How are you this dense? It’s like watching Star Wars and not picking up that the empire and the rebellion don’t like each other. No wonder you’re confused!

Chapter 5 is still in the works. It jumps the shark right away with Apollo getting drunk and sleeping with Julian's boyfriend. The author makes Apollo the guilty party and not the boyfriend

The comic is fairly clear that Daniel is the bad guy

This webtoon is so convoluted there is no saving it at this point. Each chapter is titled after some mental illness such as 'Monophobia', 'Anxiety', 'Psychosis'. You think they would have some thematic meaning with each chapter being about one of those things. Nope, they're just titled like that to show how EDGY this webtoon is! You can taste the cringe. Julian's mental shit has no rhyme or reason - he will act sick when the plot calls for it, and if it has anything to do with the chapter's title, it is also crazy inaccurate.

The author of this review somehow managed to read the entirety of The Guide to a Healthy Relationship without picking up that Daniel was an abuser. The comic thus seems convoluted to him because he thinks all the things happening are random events without rhyme or reason because he has completely failed to notice the whole plot, which is not subtle. Just....fucking staggering incompetence, as a critic.

Guess you’re stuck with me, anon.

#Anonymous #The Guide to a Healthy Relationship #bad webcomics wiki #The webcomic review reviews webcomic reviews

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hollenka99 · 3 years

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2020, According To My Tumblr Archive

January

Like many, freaked out about the Dhawan!Master reveal

Unus Annus reached 2 million subs

Ethan finally saw his sub count reach 1 million

Reblogged the elf pussy post with a version of the elf practice meme and now every time I see that meme, I think of that post

Finally made my Dyspraxic!Chase post

Fleshed out Creator!Jackie a little in terms of Nyesha (his girlfriend) and his prosthetics

February

Got really into Take Me or Leave Me for a short while which led to me watching RENT for the first time

Finally made that follow up to A Talk With The Creator I’d been meaning to write for months (aka A Day Long Overdue)

Started posting Unus Annus trigger warnings for a few weeks after the video where they demonstrate how they’d kill each other as a joke

Reached the 100 follower milestone after nearly 4 years on this site

Got very into WTNV again and binged like 60+ episodes in the space of 2 or so weeks

March

Watched Starkid’s Black Friday

Posted The Doctor on the anniversary of The Friend’s posting

Made some posts about the women of TLoJJ for International Women’s Day

Bupine received an anon ask teasing her about a typo which is common in our friendship group. Usual suspects were accused until the true culprit revealed themself via an acrostic (aka me being extra and I loved every second of it)

Went to the cat cafe in Nottingham

Made sure people were aware of World Puppetry Day by sending anon asks to people I thought might get a kick out of it

Posted Fighting Stolen Breaths

Steven Universe Future ended

Having been in the beginning stages of creation since ~Oct 2019, Jumbled AU content starts appearing

April

Spent the 1st doing an ask event for the Jumbled AU as a way of properly introducing it

Confused a bunch of people outside the Jacksepticeye community when I made a post saying how great it was that $400k had been raised in 2.5 hours during the HopeFromHome stream

Posted The Vlogger for Chase’s birthday

Got hyped to write a Śmigus Dyngus fic featuring Jumbled!Chase and his kids but got sick (regular illness, don’t worry) and therefore never finished it

Norbert Moses existed for 24 hours but he will exist much longer in our hearts

Managed to stay up to see 4:20am on April 20th

Posted the prologue and officially began the story of Jumbled

Watched Ghost for the first time

May

Fanders finally got the continuation of Selfishness vs Selflessness (Putting Others First aka SvS Redux) and learned Deceit’s name

Started talking about The Fall of Naesia

Pretty sure I hyperfixated on Queen for a week or so

Got introduced to ‘Storp Chorleigh, this game has gorn on lawng enuff’ and my life has significantly improved

CumGate happened

Got into ATLA

Black Lives Matter

Created the ‘it’s gonna be gay’ post that would destroy my inbox for the next few days

Had my first experience behind a wheel

June

Posted Flag, the response to which has made me proud of it

Poland scares and disappoints me part 1 (queer rights edition)

Sean posts another blooper video which causes me to make edits that subsequently inspire me to write Little Interruptions

Created an entire mythology purely because I thought a winged humanoid/merperson pairing was a cool concept

Reminded my friends why I should never be allowed to stay up until 4am because I just start talking nonsense

July

Finally watched An Inspector Calls and immediately wanted to make a Sanders Sides au with it.

Started talking about Creator again

Had another ask event to celebrate Jackie’s birthday

Also posted Photographs for his birthday which I love

Reached 150 followers around the middle of this month, I think

Discovered Kipo but wouldn’t fall for it head over heels with it for another month

One Direction celebrated their 10th anniversary and I was possessed by my 15 year old self for a week

Posted The Mediary which properly brought Creator AU back to my blog for a short while

August

Eddsworld came back after years

Posted The Creator and officially completed the main part of the au

Poland scares and disappoints me part 2 (queer rights edition continued)

Finally revealed Jumbled Anti’s identity to the world and got threatened on my birthday because of it

Discovered the Unus Annus video I’d been waiting all year for would be centered around them chewing on dog toys but it did feature “I’m the Unus to your Annus” so that was cool

Binged the first 2 seasons of Kipo in like a day and correctly predicted the Mega Monkey’s identity ages with very little foreshadowing to go off of

September

Started showing my love for Puppet History

Among Us was a thing

Got back into Playchoices

BBC Ghosts came back for series 2

Watched Pride twice in 24 hours and made sure everyone knew I’m heart eyes for it

October

Trump got sick

Family friend took one of my teeth

The world was blessed with Patton in a dress

Replayed Septiscape ahead of Soulscape’s release and liveblogged it

C!Thomas got a love interest and I’m really happy for him

Kipo season 3 came out

Literally the next day, the Dream SMP brainrot officially began

Discovered Thanzag existed and fell for the angsty side of their relationship despite knowing barely anything about the game

Poland scares and disappoints me part 3 (abortion edition)

Started bingeing The Magnus Archives and got through 150 episodes in about 2 weeks

Halloween was an eventful night for both the Jacksepticeye and Unus Annus communities

November

Unus Annus began its epilogue period

Watched V For Vendetta for the first time which was probably the least eventful thing to happen on the night of November 5th 2020

Destiel became somewhat canon and people found out Putin was thinking of resigning because of that

US elections

Unus Annus died following a 12 hour livestream

Somehow, my mad attempt to summarise every video of Unus Annus kinda paid off

Supernatural trended again because of its finale

Went through a period of questioning whether I’m asexual but settled on ‘sex ambivalent allosexual’ for now

Destiel became canon again but reciprocated and Spanish this time

Discovered Webtoon and Castle Swimmer

December

The monolith saga began

Elliot Page came out as trans

Mark went to hospital for an obstruction again and the community became very invested in his recovery process

Scotch eggs with your drinks became a brief meme over here in Britain

Your New Boyfriend was released

Destiel’s canon status was brought back to the spotlight once more

Watched The Godfather for the first time

Reached 200 followers

We got somewhat of a Dan and Phil video after so long with Phil trying on clothes while Dan reacts behind the camera

BBC Ghosts came back for Christmas to say Tories suck and you should make the most of your time with your family

Got into Mother Mother after Wilbur played the intro to Hayloft and I decided to see what the fuss was about

Watched Bridgerton and immediately felt the need to write something historical

The Mishapocalypse returned

#holly talks #2020 #year in review

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fightmeyeats · 5 years

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Wrath Month: Probably Not Gonna Calm Down

I feel very frustrated by @taylorswift’s “You Need to Calm Down” (currently “#3 On Trending” on youtube). This is not a particularly hot take.

Corporate pride tends to be highly contested in general: on the one hand, some argue that it's helpful to LGBT+ youth to see themselves represented in the hegemony and suggest that maybe it’s better that corporations are courting LGBT+ dollars over the money of homophobes; on the other, normalization (especially normalization through capitalist/corporate interests) has historically been complicit in the further marginalization of many queer folks--especially trans women of color. To some, “You Need to Calm Down” is simply one example of corporate pride, and therefore represents the same potential for an ambiguous reading. Personally, I have tried to imagine whether this song would have meant anything useful to me as a closeted queer teen; I remember looking desperately for queer themes in “straight” music, and I remember being slightly older (18, maybe?) watching Hayley Kiyoko’s “Girls like Girls” on a loop and how much my first exposure to actually queer music produced by actually queer artists meant to me, and I don’t think even that version of me would have felt connected to Taylor Swift’s attempt to reconcile her experience as a celebrity who has literally capitalized off of internet drama to the harassment queer folks experience daily for existing as themselves.

The Onion’s article “Taylor Swift Inspires Teen To Come Out As Straight Woman Needing To Be At Center Of Gay Rights Narrative” does a great job of simplifying why exactly this video and song is so exhausting to me and many other LGBTQ+ folks: the author argues that Taylor Swift uses “LGBTQ iconography to advance her career” and that, rather than letting people speak for themselves and control their own narratives, she’s making Pride Month about herself. The Atlantic and Vox both have run more in-depth articles breaking down the multitude of reasons why this song is deservedly coming under fire, which I highly recommend reading.

One counter argument I’ve seen here and there is that Taylor Swift is actually not a straight woman centering a gay rights narrative around herself--now that she’s said the word “gay” in a non-negative way in a song, its only a matter of time before she comes out! So one of the things I want to emphasize here is that while I personally don’t believe she’s queer (and per Swift’s own tumblr post explaining why she didn’t kiss Katy Perry in the music video where she says “To be an ally is to understand the difference between advocating and baiting. Anyone trying to twist this positivity into something it isn’t needs to calm down. It costs zero dollars to not step on our gowns.” she doesn’t seem to anticipate coming out either), regardless of whether or not she turns out not to be straight, this song and its lyrics are appropriating LGBTQ iconography to advance her career, and Swift is using queer folks as accessories to perform “wokeness” and draw parallels between herself and actual marginalized communities for her own gain. She may end the music video with directions to sign her petition for Senate support of the Equality Act, but the links in the song description are all promotion for her song, her merch, and her social media accounts. She does not even follow through on the optics of social justice.

The main way I want to trace this argument is through her fundamental misunderstanding and, more significantly, misrepresentation of what homophobia is.Throughout the song/music video Swift is consistently trying to render compatible her own supposed experiences with being bullied/criticized on the internet to the violence of homophobia which is, quite frankly, fucking wild. She sings: “Say it in the street, that's a knock-out / But you say it in a Tweet, that's a cop-out.” What seems to be the intended interpretation of this line is that negative interactions online are cowardly, because people are “hiding” behind usernames and icons, rather than being “brave” enough to offer direct criticism and publicly/visibly own their words; I am not going to go into the potentials of this line of conversation, because I do think in another context (and said by other people) real conversations about the potentials and pitfalls of online culture in regards to purity/call-out culture, social activism/organizing, and bullying can be and are already being had. What I want to point out here is the cognitive dissonance: who can say anything in the street to someone as rich, privileged, and insulated as Taylor Swift? If Swift only accepts criticism delivered in person, she doesn’t accept criticism and she might as well own up to that. And when she is trying to tie this into a commentary on homophobia, maybe she should have considered for two seconds the kind of actual danger queer folks (especially trans and gender non-conforming) are actually in on the streets every day while she’s in a mansion/penthouse apartment (and to that extent, the gentrified trailer park imagery didn’t sit to well with me either, but I’ll get into the discussion of class later on). Queer folks really are getting knocked-out in the streets (1, 2, 3). Furthermore, in her desperate attempt to center her psuedo-discourse on homophobia and queer liberation around herself, she sings the lines: “But I've learned a lesson that stressin' and obsessin' / 'bout somebody else is no fun / And snakes and stones never broke my bones”. I’m not really surprised that it doesn’t “break her bones,” given how successfully she has marketed and monetized her feuds and her own victimhood; this is just a newnother rebranding of said victimized persona, and even though she may not be bothered, there are real stakes to it beyond the “lack of fun”.

So let’s get into it. As I said before, Swift is dangerously misrepresenting what homophobia is and what it looks like, namely through the use of a progress “wrong side of history” narrative. The lines run “Why are you mad when you could be GLAAD?...Sunshine on the street at the parade / But you would rather be in the dark ages” and the music video shows what Kornhaber, writing for The Atlantic, aptly describes as “an unwashed-looking mob” holding childish signs with misspellings and the all-time classic “Adam + Eve Not Adam + Steve.” Korhnaber points out the more common use of “God Hates Fags” signs; personally, I’ve also seen a lot of the “HolyBible” “After Death, the Judgement” signs. In Swift’s narrative, homophobia looks like the obvious, regressive, primitive villain; the already defeated. Perhaps worse, it looks like the rural poor, against the backdrop of rich queer celebrities. This narrative works to render invisible the poor-and-queer, and it undermines the real dangers homophobic violence poses by imagining homophobia has already lost. Imagining homophobia as thirteen unwashed rural poor people who can’t spell the word “moron” obscures the reality that there are also the Mike Pences and the Philip Anschutzs and the laundry list of other rich and connected anti-LGBT politicians, activists, and donors who have very real effects on the lives of the disabled, people of color, women, LGBTQ+ folks, the poor, immigrants, and all the intersections thereof. This also ties into the way Swift puts forward the solution “You just need to take several seats and then try to restore the peace / And control your urges to scream about all the people you hate.” As meaningless as these lines are overall, the insinuation that there is a “peace” that we can be “restored” to that would benefit the marginalized and oppressed is ridiculous and harmful, and again misrepresents the problem. Moreover, it suggests the problem could be understood as one of bodily discipline: if homophobes “controlled” themselves better, didn’t scream so much, there wouldn’t be a problem--this gets us back to the problematics of representing homophobia as exclusively the undisciplined poor, rather than the rich and connected. It also leaves room for the potential insinuation that everybody who is angry on the internet needs to calm down; I’ve seen a lot of jokes that this Pride Month, the 50th anniversary of Stonewall, we’re returning to our rebel roots and also celebrating Wrath. I certainly don’t plan to calm down, thanks anyway, Taylor.

In this same vein lets consider the much quoted line: “'Cause shade never made anybody less gay”. This was the first line I heard from the song, and my immediate problem with it was, as Korhnaber also points out, that throwing shade comes from queer communities of color, and “there are many ways to describe a parent who disowns a trans kid, or a lawmaker who tries to nullify same-sex marriages, or a church member who crashes a gay soldier’s funeral. Shady isn’t one.”

Swift hides from potential criticism/backlash behind a psuedo-feminist “female solidarity” with lines such as: “And we see you over there on the internet / Comparing all the girls who are killing it / But we figured you out / We all know now we all got crowns.” While there certainly are people who try to pit women against each other on the internet, again this is something which Taylor Swift has directly utilized multiple times to make herself money. I’m glad celebrities know they’ve all got crowns, but in what world does this benefit the non-rich and famous?

#taylor swift #queer theory #pride month #homonormativity #heteronormativity #homophobia #slurs cw #essay #maybe i can't say it in the street but taylor if you or your publicity team wanna respond heres an open invitation #bc FOR REAL they dont even put a link to the petition in the description which is WILD like if ur gonna go for the optics of wokeness #at least follow through that much lmao #anyways as always i wrote this in a 2 hour rant so ill fix typos as i catch them

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void-official · 5 years

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“Micro-identities/’Mogai/ya’ll literally just be making shit up now” OK. i’m sorry im stuck on this and this is the last i’ll talk about it today bc fuck it. I’m gonna be Real for a second. And it’s going to be awkward, and it’s going to be long, and I’m gonna Lose Follower bc defending micro-labels is Cringe. Whatever. I get it. go ahead and unfollow. The rest of you who actually care. and in the spirit of Pride Month, as someone who feels like they’re almost never allowed to express Pride in who I am? Here we go.

I’m bi. Most of you can probably tell, im not exactly subtle about it.

I’m bi. But

my actual interest in dating or having sex with Anyone has been pretty much negligible for my entire life. I just don’t Care. I never have. Dating and sex seem like a hassle to me and I don’t feel like i’m particularly missing out by not taking part in them. It doesn’t negate my enjoyment of peoples bodies necessarily, nor does it mean I never get crushes on people it just means at the end of the day, my desire to go out there and find people to have sex with and/or date has always been like. really really low. Even if the opportunity was there. And i’ve come to terms with this. I accept this about myself.

There is actually a great deal of overlap between bi and ace identity. all those ‘weird little terms’ like ‘demisexual’ you guys hate so much were originally created for people like me, who feel like they are fundamentally not allowed to call themselves something straightforward like ‘bi’ (or straight/gay/lesbian) without people inevitably screaming at them for Doing It Wrong. So they can describe how they feel in a brief word, instead of having to go through the pains of explaining the complex relationship they have with sexual attraction to every fucking person who asks what their sexuality is.

saying ‘well you should just be able to say bi and leave it at that’ doesn’t actually account for the experiences i have when i Just Say i’m Bi. Even me Just Saying ‘im bi’ i’ve always gotta deal with harassment from people whoget weirdly agressive about -why- i’m not out there fucking or dating the people i claim im attracted to. Am I a prude? a Tease? Just an ‘Acey’ lying for brownie points? Am I Actually Just Traumatized? (They ask in a really aggressive condescending way, like thats actually how you should talk to someone you think is potentially traumatized) But by the standards of this discourse, i’m not allowed to call myself ace either, because then people are going to yell at me that if I experience the tiniest smidgen of sexual attraction or romantic inclination sometimes, or post pictures of sexy video game characters, clearly i cant be that either I literally can’t win. there is not a thing I can call myself that won’t earn me the ire of LGBT people on tumblr who think they know me and what i should call myself better than I do. And believe me i hate talking about this More than you do. I’d rather just shut up and let people Assume i’m whatever they want me to be sometimes but then mutuals i thought i trusted will inevitably openly make fun of the people who outwardly call themselves demisexual or whatever microlabel is trendy to shit on currently, and usually i bite my tongue cause at the end of the day its Just Words, right? I don’t even use that word, right? Its just words and some words can be interchangeable and not everyone knows what they mean which can feel alienating and unnecessary to people who don’t understand them. I -get- why people ‘cringe’ when they see like 10 terms they don’t understand in someones bio. why do you think i don’t even list anything about my sexuality in mine other than my pronouns?

but I always remember like. just bc that label isnt For Me, it doesn’t mean there might be someone in a similar position to me who doesnt feel comfortable just calling themeslves bi, and prefers the label ‘demisexual biromantic’ who feels like that phrase puts them in a place of peace and contentment, and I wouldn’t argue with them about it. Bc thats their fucking choice. Them being happy with who they are takes priority over my personal opinions of the language they use. same with gender nonconforming people who dont want call themselves trans or nonbinary. Thats fucking Fine. I’m not telling you to have to use the same words as me if you don’t feel like they’re necessary or accurate. I literally don’t give a rats ass what words you use to identify yourself so long as they’re not being used to hurt other people. I just want to be able to have Words, for myself, that describe how I feel, that don’t result in people treating my entire identity like some shitty discourse Meme. And right now I have none. No matter what I call myself, people choose tell me it’s not accurate, or its too complicated.

As for all these shitty fucking posts about people ‘forcing’ young people to take up labels. This. This doesn’t actually happen? (OK I won’t say it doesn’t happen ever on an individual level? but that its not something enforced or encouraged by any group as a practice, and that distinction is necessary, bc saying it happens on a large scale literally implies predatory intentions from a massive group of people instead of members of the group behaving poorly as individuals)

Demisexual people as a whole have literally never told me i had to call myself demi just bc my sense of how i experience attraction might be similar to theirs. Ace people as a whole don’t usually tell people whose lack of sexual attraction is caused by trauma or who havent developed enough to experience sexual attraction that they -have- to call themselves ace. Most Bi or Pan people are fine with the fact that their labels have a lot of overlap and that the line between these things can be murky, they arent actually constantly ready to tear each others throats out over whose terminology is correct. All of this shit is made up by hateful people, or people taking a few examples of poor behavior out of context as an excuse to shit on everyone else, and well meaning people keep falling for it bc it -seems- helpful to be. reactive. I guess? to people you’re constantly told are hurtful to the causes of marginalized people. but im telling you. its not true. literally nobody forces you to call yourself any of these words, they just Exist out there in case you want them, and if you think thats somehow a threat to other peoples identities or to Minors just like, conceptually, for existing, for being Too Specific, im sorry but what other word is there for your reaction than phobic? If an individual derails a conversation about Y to be like “You didn’t include _X_” or tries to force their views on a minor who hasn’t developed a stable sense of identity yet, that is an Individual behaving in an inappropriate manner, not an invitation for you to throw the whole group under the bus. I hate to tell you but if you’re using examples of individuals on tumblr who say stupid shit, everyone on tumblr says stupid shit and butts in conversationally where they’re not welcome. Universally. It’s how tumblr is formatted. Trust me, I have like 4 viral posts going right now.

i’m just tired of it at this point. im not cool with people who stretch to make fun of micro-labels all the time and think they’re being woke allies or w/e to the ‘real LGBTs’. Even if a lot of the time I personally don’t care for all the labels and wouldn’t choose them for myself, I still feel like If you can’t treat people like individuals and assess their character on a case by case basis, i don’t trust you. I don’t like people who stereotype and LGBT people are not immune to this behavior. Like i don’t say it often but it fucking hurts, and it hurts other people I’m close to who I know have similar complicated identities and struggle coming up w/words to describe themselves that the whole of tumblr LGBT+ will approve of and agree with (clearly an impossibility because there are still people who don’t want bi and trans to even be in there). I might tolerate the constant jokes and not block on principle of knowing not everyone has ingested and thought about this discourse in the same way I have, and im a big tough adult, ultimately i can take it. but inside i know no matter what i call myself, if i were earnest with some of you about how i feel I’d probably be just another ‘special snowflake Delusional mogai creep’ to you, and i can’t deny that fucking hurts to think about. I try not to talk about it openly bc it embarrasses me, bc i dont think my sexuality should have to be battle ground for discourse for people who are supposed to be on my side. But there it is. I think most of this discourse is Trash, and clearly not for the reason most people on here say its trash, not bc theres ‘too many specific words, y’all just be Making Shit Up’ but because so many of you are more caught up in the words than the substance of the arguments or the needs of people whose experiences might have a lot of overlap with yours regardless of what word they’re using to describe it.

Anyway. happy pride to LGBTQA+ people who still dont really feel pride in themselves or their identity. I’d say you’re valid, but you don’t need my validation or anyone elses to understand that you’re a person deserving of respect and compassion. You exist as who you are, and you have to come to terms with who that is, regardless of whether or not you feel like you’re accepted for it. if not pride then, settle for confidence in who you are.

#........./#....../#././#././/./#/././..#long post

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revwinchester · 6 years

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They/Them

Summary: Gabriel finds themself the victim of discrimination while at Pride but a man he doesn’t know stands up for them and calls out his friend’s toxic behavior. Turns out that’s the just start of it all.

Pairing: Sabriel (cisgender Sam x nonbinary Gabriel)

Rating: teen and up

Warnings: blatant transphobia/nonbinaryphobia and discrimination, some curse words, hurt/comfort, angsty start with a happy middle and ending, explicit mentions of sex but no mentions/depictions of explicit sex (if you don’t want to read that, stop before the time jump)

Word Count: 1239

A/N: This is my entry for the June @gabriel-monthly-challenge. I loosely used both aesthetic prompts for inspiration. I also didn’t go straight for one of the Pride story prompts but took inspiration from the spirit of them, writing a fic set at Pride. I was also inspired by two short text posts I saw floating around on tumblr - a couple people reblogged them - that I could just hear Gabriel saying as I read them. I was supposed to be packing for a trip and, instead, I wrote this. Gabriel agrees that packing is terrible.

One final note: I am not trans or nonbinary however I based a lot of Gabriel’s story on the real story of a friend of mine who is (with their permission).

They/Them -

Gabriel put their head down and kept walking. Growing up knowing they were different in a small town in the deep south meant that they had heard every slur in the book - and even some that weren’t in there - hurled at them. They had a thick skin by now but this time it hurt worse. This time, the abuse was coming from within the walls, or fences really, of Pride. Gabriel had moved to the city almost a year ago, leaving their small minded town behind. They had found a great group of friends and had assumed the positivity and support they had experienced would extend to the rest of the revelers they would meet during Pride but that was, apparently, not the case.

“Stop being such a snowflake,” one of the men shouted at Gabriel, “your kind is causing too much trouble for the rest of us.”

The man’s words made Gabriel regret the outfit they had chosen for the day. But it was the last day of Pride and skirts were freaking comfortable, damnit. Not to mention the tank top - one of their favorites, though it didn’t make it out of the closet often - black with the word “enby” printed across the chest in the colors of the pansexual flag. They picked up their pace, wanting to pass the group of men as quickly as possible. “Association of Gay Lawyers” the banner a few of them held read. Well, Gabriel wouldn’t be going to any of them if they ever needed legal assistance.

The man was still shouting terrible things as Gabriel drew closer. When a second man joined him, they were nearly in tears. Even so, Gabriel couldn’t help but notice that this guy was the sexiest man they had ever seen in their life. He was tall and muscular, filling out his v-neck and plaid over-shirt so well that it was practically criminal, and he had shaggy, chocolate brown hair that Gabriel just wanted to run their hands through. Instead, though, they braced themselves for the taunts to double.

Much to their surprise, though, that wasn’t the case when the man opened his mouth.

At first, Gabriel assumed that the words were directed at them but when they chanced a glance up, the man was glaring at his friend.

“Pride is all about loving ourselves for who we are when the world tells us we’re unlovable. Trans and non binary people don’t threaten your fun or your existence as a gay man, Brady,” the tall guy continued before the first man could speak up. “So you and your transphobic bullshit and bigotry can fuck off.”

Gabriel stood and stared, transfixed by what was happening. They didn’t know this guy; why was he standing up for them?

“What are you looking at bitch boy?” the first man - Brady, apparently - shouted. He was probably lashing out, Gabriel knew, but the words still cut deep. They turned on their heel and stalked away, their fists balled at their side, seeking the relative safety of the Genderfluid Coalition tent. Though, if Gabriel was being honest with themself, they weren’t sure if anywhere would actually be safe from assholes like Brady.

Gabriel was so wrapped up in their head that they nearly missed the sound of feet pounding on the pavement as someone followed them, running to catch up.

“Hey!” the handsome man called out, causing Gabriel to stop despite their better judgement. “I’m sorry you had to listen to Brady say that crap back there. He’s an asshole but the guys tend to let him get away with it because his dad’s a high powered attorney. But…”

“But you don’t?” Gabriel spat, their voice hard.

The man took it in stride, though. “Nope. I don’t care who you know, doesn’t give you the right to treat another human being like shit. He and I were in college and then law school together. Somewhere in our sophomore year, the guy just changed. I guess I stick around because someone’s gotta keep him in check.”

He smiled down at Gabriel and, gods, his dimples…

“I’m just sorry I couldn’t do more but I really can’t handle another assault on my record.”

And now the man was blushing and Gabriel knew they were a goner. “Another?” they asked, clearing their throat.

“Uh, yeah,” the handsome man replied, rubbing at the back of his neck nervously. “I mean, it was a while ago, back in law school… A professor trying to prey on me and some of the other queer students. He didn’t get very far and even the police agreed that it was justified but… another assault would probably get me disbarred.”

They stood in silence for a moment, neither of them sure how to continue their conversation, though Gabriel definitely wanted to.

“Look,” the man finally said, “I know you probably didn’t need some white knight to ride in and save you but I just… You looked like you could use a friend back there.” He paused and held out a hand. “I’m Sam, by the way.”

Gabriel shook Sam’s hand and introduced themself. “Gabriel. They/them. And thanks, sometimes a knight in shining armor is nice.”

A second awkward silence fell between the pair and Gabriel knew they were blushing. This time, Gabriel was the one to break the silence.

“So… I’m always a slut for kindness and basic human decency,” they said, their tone light. “Let’s go camping and have tent sex.” It was a joke (mostly), the kind of thing that just fell out of Gabriel’s mouth when they were nervous, and they were surprised to see that Sam seemed to be considering their offer.

“Honestly, I think I’d like that,” Sam replied, “but I’d like to get to know you better first. Where were you headed? I’ll walk with you if that’s alright.”

Gabriel just nodded dumbly and pointed in the direction they had been heading. Shit like this didn’t happen, especially not to them. They walked off, Sam grabbing their hand as they moved together.

“Is this ok?” Sam asked.

“Yeah,” Gabriel replied as they realized that it really was.

-----

Three months later

-----

“Gabriel! Come on!” Sam shouted.

He had gotten to Gabriel’s apartment right on time, only to find them still not ready. Sam had done all the preparation work - including packing a costume or two for him and Gabriel to play with (Gabe was going to look ridiculous and adorable in the camp counselor get up) - and all his partner had to do was pack for themselves. But of course, Gabriel had waited until the last minute.

“Just put your stuff in a bag, babe,” Sam insisted as he entered Gabriel’s bedroom. “I’ve got everything else covered. I’ve been planning for and looking forward to this trip since we met.”

Gabriel looked up at him with a quizzical look on their face.

“You promised me tent sex,” Sam reminded them. “Not to mention that our campsite is pretty secluded so I’m hoping for some hammock sex, some post s’mores sex next to the fire, and maybe even some naked kayaking if the weather holds up…” Sam was smirking at Gabriel by the time he finished speaking.

Gabriel’s pupils were expanding with lust at Sam’s words. “If we’re going to be fucking the whole time, why do I even need clothes?” they asked, grabbing their leather jacket and throwing it on. “Let’s just get going!”

If you would like to be added to (or removed from) one of my tag lists send an ask and let me know!

ALL THE TAGS! (forevers): @deathtonormalcy56 @supernaturalyobsessed @roxy-davenport @gallifreyansass @hexparker @thinkwritexpress-official @atc74 @thewhiterabbit42 @nobodys-baby-now @mouselovesmusic @nanika67 @smdzone @doctor-zyre @proserpinadante @lonely-potatolookingforbooks

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GMC Tags: @archangelsanonymous @warlockwriter @archangel-with-a-shotgun @ttttrickster @archangelgabriellives

#supernatural fanfiction #spn fanfic #sabriel #sam x gabriel #gabriel x sam #gabriel monthly challenge #nonbinary!Gabriel #cisgender!Sam #fics by Rev

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trickstarbrave · 3 years

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I see some of my old posts abt this getting likes still so I did feel the need for whatever reason to post an update or rather restatement to my views on the topic

I know this is a horribly tired topic that was discoursed to hell and then left behind and for good reason so as a warning: ace discourse below

First and foremost I’m not in the business of telling ppl wholesale they don’t belong in the community. The vast majority of ace ppl are also other various lgbt identies and trying to “remove” people from the community is not a thing I’d ever advocate for nor have I really ever as far as I can remember. If I have in bad faith I would like to extend an apology bc I have bad memories problems and think those actions are wrong and harmful. If the consensus is ace ppl are lgbt then I’m not here to say everyone else is wrong and I’m the authority on lgbt identities. We are a coalition group, a mashing of communities w sometimes shared histories and experiences. Even if I think ace and aro ppl don’t have as many of those in common I don’t get to decide if they are or not. They are now and I’m more focused on making that work

Still though since it’s inception the ace community has not been a very healthy one. As at best a newer addition to the lgbt community being brought to light and given a label and community, the community has been toxic. Much of the foundational moments for identity were from the AVEN forums and a lot of harmful misogynistic, transphobic, homophobic, and ableist things were said on their and supported. This kind of behavior has continued well into the community even today.

This is not a moral judgment on asexuals or aromamtics. I’m aromantic. I was also subjected to these things. I always felt alienated from the community. Even when trying to engage behavior was half the time welcoming and understanding and half the time felt very hostile. I point this out because again: many asexuals and aromantics are other lgbt identies and this rhetoric is very harmful. It’s alienating. It makes you feel guiltier at times. Furthermore at times the community pressured ppl who did not have absolutely any desire for sex in any capacity to be okay with it, as though they were on the same level as people who liked and enjoyed sexual acts removed from sexual attraction to people. Sometimes it encouraged harassing people for saying having sex was a vital part of relationships for them and they felt incompatable with someone who was repulsed by sex and didn’t feel abstaining for a hypothetical ace partner would be healthy for either of them. Even more alarming was qpp’s, really originating from the aro community, spreading and simply being a tool for a while in many circles to coerce people into relationships who otherwise wouldn’t be okay with polyamory or were underaged. I’ve seen so much harm and been subjecting to it that I did have to (and still want to but avoid it for stress reasons) point this out. Even more alarming was during the discourse era seeing big name ace bloggers with large underaged followings bring on self admitted pedophiles to their blogs, and refusing to apologize when said pedophile admitted to sexually harassing minors. Lies were spread to demonize lesbians especially, and to a degree gay men as well, including that we steal funding we don’t need

As well (currently) the lgbt community hasn’t had the best resources to provide a good environment for ace and aro issues, and the ace community has not made it a priority in many spheres to curate those spaces either. As an aro sexual abuse victim there were many times I didn’t want to see public displays of affection or hear abt sexuality of any kind at times (despite not being ace) and I knew asking for those to cease in lgbt spaces would be harmful and come across as bigoted. Lgbt spaces are places to express your comfort in your identity and your relationships in the way cishet ppl can whenever they want to in society. Seeking out spaces without that just meant retreating and being alone. A curated space for aro and ace ppl would have removed tension I know many people have had and still do experience by providing refuge for sex and romance repulsed ace and aro ppl

I felt more boundaries would be beneficial, as while trans people are no doubt a part of the lgbt community (regardless of how many trabsphobes say we don’t belong), trans specific areas and communities still exist. Trans spaces where trans experiences are centered are a priority. The ace community regardless needs better spaces for ace people besides social media and Internet forums. It needs structure and accountability. It needs to unlearn harmful practices and bigotry that have run rampant for their own members’ sake, not for the sake of outside people to see validity in it.

And for a while, people who were otherwise cisgendered, heteroromantic and asexual would speak out in lgbt spaces about trans and gay issues because this is the “same community”. Cis gay men have no authority on lesbian, bi, or trans issues. Cis lesbians have no authority on gay men’s, bi, or trans issues. Cis heterosexual trans ppl shouldn’t talk abt lgbp issues w authority. Cishet ace and aro ppl shouldn’t talk those either. A lot of the hostility and early discourse was abt that, about those bloggers who very quickly left the discussions and website entirely in some cases, speaking about issues that shouldn’t concern them. About homophobia and how it should be treated or tolerated, using slurs they had no right using, and more. Even more alienating was ppl saying a character was ace rather than gay, and when pointed out they could be both it resulted in backlash as trying to take away ace representation, and then real human survivors of sexual abuse who were dead were framed as ace icons and ace representation while framing their discussions of their reactions to sexual abuse as “the ace experience”. Lies spread that ace conversion therapy was a thing and that doctors were going to hold you down and feed you medicine to make you want to have sex, terrifying many young bloggers on this website who genuinely believed and lived in fear of this happening until they were told it was misinformation and lies.

(Yes you can be sexually assaulted for being ace, yes victims of sexual abuse can as a result ID as ace or aro, that’s not what I’m arguing against in case somehow someone finds a way )

But from the other side I’ve seen and spoken out against people who just said bigoted things. Claiming there were too many gender and sexuality identities. I think the split attraction model is limited to ace and aro ppl to explain our identities more coherently and misapplying it to others only servers in the end to stigmatize various sexualities, but this went beyond that. For many people “grey” and “demi” modifiers are useful. I’m grey aro. My romantic feelings are complicated and inconsistent enough I think it’s not average. Sure to a degree “anyone” could be demi or aro and many ppl in the ace community have misattributed those modified identities to ppl who didn’t even fully explore how they felt, but they are not worthless. I can count to you how many times I’ve felt genuine romantic attraction, and I do not fully understand the intricacies of romantic attraction, nor the differences at time between platonic feelings in practice. I was mocked for my identity several times and saw people with identities like mine mocked. This was not a discussion of it these identities were harmful like claiming disassociating during sex was a normal sexual identity. At worst they are unnecessary.

I’ve been always more invested abt having a better community for ace and aro ppl bc that’s what I ultimately wanted. No, they didn’t have the messy intertwined history of other lgbt identities but also they didn’t have to be. Lgbt or not there wasn’t a space for ace and aro ppl I thought was really healthy. It was either they existed there in a group with other people with their issues being talked about or not at all. Ace pride colors were based on the at times toxic forum website AVEN. The aro community was often overlooked by ace ppl or at times actively thrown under the bus.

And lies and misinformation was still spread. Pieces of history incoherently being co-opted and misappropriated to seem legitimate. And to top it all off ace and aro specific oppression was incoherently discussed to. How different forms of oppression work together and often feed into each other or take new shapes was ignored. Studies were extremely limited in scope, loaded, and mostly inconclusive. Facets of misogyny and even homophobia were framed as ace exclusive and unique experiences, and people lied about real life discrimination for being ace (usually these were young people like the 15 y/o who claimed to have two gay dads who kicked her out for being ace, so I won’t dwell on those as much. Tumblr has been a weird website). Discussions of race especially were riddled w terrible behavior from white ace bloggers who resorted to lying, shaming, and guilt tripping. All this only serves to fan the flames and drive a wedge between communities even tho inclusionists claimed it was all evil exclusionists doing while refusing to call out the misinformation and bigotry they often spread. There was no purpose in harassing bloggers of color, no purpose in terrifying children so they lived in fear of medical professionals and most ppl, and no excuse.

Hopefully moving on from this it will truly die away, but I hope people learn from it. This wasn’t just as some ppl frame it cis gay and lesbian bloggers starting a harassment campaign to try and kick aces out on a large scale. This was a messy discussion that was years brewing until it exploded in even more vitriol, misinformation, and rage. It became an opportunity to critique an (albeit in comparison young) community for harmful behavior that was going unchecked and lead to even further bigotry, misinformation, and alienation. And the bigotry and misinformation didn’t serve a purpose and little understanding of what ace and aro people needed besides information and education to the public, which was already taking place before this, was had. And ultimately I expected more from the community at large.

To ace and aro followers and readers: I’ve seen some ugly parts of the community but I don’t necessarily demand you answer for that behavior, unless you’re personally guilt of it. I don’t say this because I have a mission to prove you’re bad. I think the community is toxic, but it will ultimately not get better unless ppl who are dedicated to it are willing to help find what resources ppl need, provide it, and refuse to encourage or call out shitty behavior. And ultimately that will come from a place of love and desire to create an environment future generations will feel welcomed in. I just don’t want other ace and aro kids being lied to about what they’ll experience, subjected to homophobia and transphobia of many colors, and at times groomed by adults. And I don’t want it based around just social media where anyone can lie abt credentials and act like an expert to further any of those horrible goals, even unintentionally

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rafespeaks · 7 years

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Okay so… I was thinking about things today. And I’m gonna tell a story. (A few stories actually, loosely connected by general topic.) It may get a bit long and rambly though, so…yeah. Be prepared for that. Topics of note: childhood crushes, internalized homophobia, questioning sexuality, and unwanted pda.

So… As you probably all know by now, I am a lesbian on the ace spectrum. And it took me a REALLY long time to figure that out.

I was raised in a Mormon household, so the only exposure I really had to the LGBT+ community was hearing about people who were gay and how the Mormon religion didn’t approve of that type of relationship. I’m unsure how young I was when I first learned there was such a thing as gay people, but growing up the way I did, gay people seemed as far-away and fanciful as a unicorn riding a rainbow into the sunset. I had no idea that bi, pan, trans, ace, etc. people even existed. (Boy howdy was I gonna learn…)

Throughout my life, I’ve witnessed my mom marry four different people, three of which she’s divorced, the first of which being my father. From early on, I’d determined to not make the same mistakes my mother did. I would not get married early. I would not have a child so quickly. I would not jump into relationships willy-nilly - I’d build a strong friendship first and foremost and see what happened from there. Sex never appealed to me. From the first instant I was told about it, I never showed any interest. I never even had celebrity crushes, and fictional crushes were short-lived at best. I don’t know when I learned the term ‘asexual’, but I quickly realized that was exactly what I was. Or at least very close to it.

Looking back now, I can see there were several instances where the ‘lesbian’ side of my identity really came out.

When I was about, oh… twelve? I had two friends. One was a boy my age, the other his younger sister. I started out friends with the boy - we met on the bus on a school field trip - and met his sister later. His sister was more of my brothers’ friend after he met them, since he was closer to her age. But then, we kind of… switched friends. I still cared about the boy - he was still my friend. But I was just… drawn to his sister a little more. Then came the day we had to say goodbye. I was used to saying goodbye. I was good at it. We’d moved from place to place for a long while. It was a new school almost every school year. I was prepared for it. What I wasn’t prepared for was THEM moving. I was shaken up and struggling not to cry as we said goodbye. I hugged the girl… and got the inexplicable urge to kiss her. Later on, I wrote it off as ‘hugging not feeling like enough’. As ‘a kiss between friends and nothing more’. Of course, I didn’t ACTUALLY kiss her. But I thought about that moment from time to time afterwards. And I felt embarrassed and ashamed. Now, I only feel understanding. (I still have three separate numbers for their family in my phone’s contacts. It’s been about ten years. I never called them. They called me like… once and visited once after they’d moved. After that, I moved and never heard from them again.)

When I was in middle school, after I’d moved to Maryland and my parents finally had 50/50 custody, I met a new girl in my church class. I found out she liked Pokemon just as I did, and I stuck to her like glue for several years afterwards. Then she said I was annoying her and she needed some time to herself. I was pretty much devastated - she was my only friend at the time. But I respected her wishes and gave her her space. I haven’t really talked to her since…

When I was in high school, I met another girl who was also from my church class. She didn’t like Pokemon like me, but she was nice and lived close by. We became friends. But then my stepbrother (son of my stepmother) came into the picture. She started hanging around with him, despite me explaining just how awful he acted at home. We actually got into an argument at one point over which one of us knew her better. Then my stepmother told me they’d caught her and my stepbrother making out at the neighborhood playground. I felt utterly BETRAYED. I remember I wanted to call her a whore, even though it didn’t go beyond kissing. When my mom suggested I was jealous, I was appalled at the very thought. But she was right. And beyond that, I was hurt that she didn’t tell me she’d started dating my own stepbrother, no matter how abysmal my opinion of him was (and still is).

I never once realized those were crushes until long after each girl had left my life. I doubt I would’ve had a chance with any of them. But just the fact that I didn’t recognize them as crushes, even when I specifically wanted to kiss one of them, shows just how oblivious I was.

Something else that happened in high school:

I was fairly solitary most of the time. My school had four different lunch shifts, so even when I did have friends, it was highly unlikely we’d end up spending time together. I sat alone. I ate home lunches, an ice cream bar, or nothing, because my social anxiety was so bad I couldn’t bear to get in the lunch line. (The snack line was shorter and more manageable.) I never once ate a school lunch there. I sat at the same table nearly every day my entire four years of going there. I took pride in the fact that I didn’t get wrapped up in the rampant high school drama. I wasn’t shouting at people in the halls. I wasn’t getting into fights or wrestling people in the middle of class. I wasn’t getting pregnant like those few girls you could pick out of the crowd. I wasn’t even dating anyone.

Then along came this mentally handicapped boy. Now I have nothing against mentally handicapped people. But when neurotypical boys gave me unwanted attention I never believed they were genuine. I still don’t believe any of them ever were. So I pushed them away easily. This boy, on the other hand, I didn’t want to be nasty to. Because that would just be wrong, right? I can’t remember exactly what he said to me, but before long, he asked me if I was seeing anyone. I told him the truth - I wasn’t, I wasn’t looking, and he shouldn’t expect anything without getting to be my friend first. (Hello Demi!!!) He didn’t seem to get it. Either that or he just didn’t care. Soon enough, I found myself in the atrium with him. He grabbed ahold of my hand and introduced me to a group of girls as his ‘girlfriend’. I was too stunned and embarrassed to correct him. I was terrified that he’d try to kiss me. Thankfully, he left before anything more happened (for some reason). The girls laughed and asked me why I didn’t tell him off. I offered the lame excuse “I guess I’m just too nice.”

“Too nice.“ I never wanted to come off as ‘nice‘ in high school. I wanted to come off as scary and edgy and the kind of person who would tear your head off and leave you goddamn terrified because I wanted to be left the fuck alone. But I never got to that point. I don’t think I ever will. I avoided that kid like the plague afterwards. I didn't sit at my table. He knew that was where I sat. I didn't even go back in the lunchroom for weeks, maybe months. It wasn't worth the risk. I didn't want the attention. HIS attention.

Then I found this community on Tumblr. I learned about all the different sexualities and romantic orientations - most of which I had no idea existed. I’m still learning about them. I’m still learning about myself.

But my real next big step concerning me and my identity and coming to realize this stuff about myself was when I first realized I was developing a crush on Turbomun. I was terrified. I didn’t want to make our friendship awkward by admitting my feelings. I didn’t want to try being in a relationship only for it to not work out and bring our friendship down, too. I can’t stress to you enough how upset the thought of this made me. So, I took baby steps. The first one was confessing, through my somewhat-self-insert muse that I was starting to think I wasn’t entirely ace - that I might’ve been demi instead. Turbomun played along with her own muse, who was an established lesbian at that point along with her, and essentially asked what this meant for their relationship. I wrote “… You’re like a sister to me… I can’t… see us as anything else… There’s nothing… more… than what you already know…”

Bullshit.

I was scared of losing her as a friend. Yes, I did see her as a sister at the time. I couldn’t see her as anything else because why would she like me anyway? I’m a dweeb. But there was more. And when I finally posted that one meme and admitted I thought I liked someone, it all came out.

Things have only gotten better from there. It’s been a wild ride… but I’m more than happy with how things turned out.

#this ended up skipping around a lot and being a lot less coherent than when i was thinking abt it all during the day #but it's late and i'm tired and i still wanna share these parts of my life so i'mma post this anyway.#because why the fuck not? it's pride month anyway. and i'm proud of how far i've come

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nickiswithoutidea · 7 years

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From the pride month ask: 1, 11, 18, and 30?

Thank you so much!!

(Tumblr fucks up the text format, will fix this later)1. what is your sexuality?I’m absolutely sure I’m somewhere on the asexual spectrum, until very recently I saw myself as completely asexual, but at the moment I think I might be gray-asexual or maybe demisexual. Could change again though, I believe in the theory that sexuality is fluid and can change over time. 11. tell us about your first crush?Oh, let me think. Like, first kindergarten crush or first real crush? And first crush on a guy, girl or nonbinary person? Let’s do all of the above, I can’t sleep and I love to overshare on the internet.My kindergarten crush was a guy called Axel, we very seriously wanted to get married, but got out of touch after kindergarten. I only saw him again once by total chance when I had an internship I needed to do for school at my old kindergarten and he visited us there one day. He promised to text me, but never did. I got over it. The first time I had a crush on a girl I was in seventh grade I think and it happened to be my best friend at that time. I wrote about it in my diary and was so sure that I would never like another girl except her because I projected my own body dysphoria on girls and was kinda appaled by them, oops. Anyways, I never told her back then because I was a little scared and very sure she’s straight and she had a boyfriend at the time and I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. Funny thing is, two or three years later another friend of us told me she had a crush on me at that time too. We talked about it and she told me she would’ve never confessed to me but if only I had been brave enough to do so we could’ve been a couple.I mean it was probably for the better it didn’t happen, but still, I wonder how things had gone if she would’ve been my first girlfriend. Until today I still have some of this deep admiration for her. We recently saw each other again and I was hoping to rebuild our friendship, but it just didn’t happen. My first real unrequited crush that ended in heartbreak was on a guy named Dustin, I was 13, 14 or 15 (not sure right now) and we were together on a language study travel thing for teenagers in England. He was two years older and I was really into his whole attitude and style and his way of living like he didn’t care about what people thought of him. I was the only person he was interested in hanging out with and I felt so special, he asked me to walk around with him on trips, showed me his music and promised to invite me to one of his band’s concerts. I mean, he even sang One Love by Bob Marley and another cheesy love song I can’t remember now for me, so of course I thought he liked me back. Never had the courage to tell him I had a crush on him though. So, long story short, after we were back home I asked him if he wanted to meet up again because we got along so well, and he said he absolutely didn’t care about me. Poor me was completely devastated. I still sometimes think about him today and still got a photo of us because I’m nostalgic and bad at letting go, lol.I actually never had a crush on a nonbinary person, so there’s no story to tell about that. Come to think about it, I had very few serious crushes in my twenty years. It’s been forever since I felt any romantic feelings for someone. 18. what’s your favorite parts of lgbtqa characterization in media?Hmm, probably when multiple queer characters are portrayed in very different, unique ways without their sexual/romantic orientation or gender being the main focus of their personality.Like, you know, when queer people are just shown to be people. Not masculine gay men written to turn on straight women, not lesbians exclusively portrayed as hyper feminine and conventionally attractive written to appeal to straight men. Not trans people whose storylines only focus on them suffering because of being trans. Just people who go on with their lives and just happen to be queer.Don’t get me wrong, I also love stories where being queer is the character’s motivation to fight for justice and equality, those who are unapologetically queer and proud and uncomfortable on purpose. But these stories always have a sad side to them and lots of injustice and pain. So yeah, I love just seeing queer characters being as diverse as possible without portraying them differently than non queer characters. Give me the friendly lesbian neighbours that aren’t the punchline in a joke, the teenager’s best friend who’s also trans but mainly the best friend, the gay teacher that can casually bring his partner to school events because nobody treats them any different than straight couples, the bisexual person who’s not constantly asked for threesomes or if they’re confused and sex crazy and maybe just once speak out the word ‘bisexual’, the nonbinary colleague at work who’s refered to with prefered pronouns and never asked inappropriate questions, give me asexual characters with happy romantic relationships whose sex life is not explicitly discussed and shown, give me an aromantic character living a fulfilled life without a romantic relationship who is not treated as abnormal or unlovable.Give me queer people in all age groups, with different ethnicities and beliefs, just give us someone on tv to relate to that doesn’t feel like a desperate clinging to a boring stereotype out of non existent alternatives. 30. what is your romantic affiliation?This means who I’m romantically attracted to, right? I’d say panromantic but also demiromantic? I had crushes on multiple genders and I don’t think my romantic feelings differ between genders. But I do think I’m demiromantic because I always take a lot of time to develop feelings for someone, I really need to feel close to them, I can’t really go on a date on someone and decide if I could probably fall in love with this person after meeting them once, twice, three times or even more often. Also, most of my crushes developed from friendship into romantic feelings, so, yeah. Statistics speak for demi-panromantic.But just like with sexuality, I also believe romantic attraction can change, so who knows what it’s like in a year.

#asks #queer stuff #nick babbles

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artistictrance · 7 years

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lgbt+ meme?

what is your sexual orientation? - demisexual :3c what is your romantic orientation? - demiromantic, so a full demi lol side note: demiromantic/demisexual is a person are ppl part of the ace community, they prefer to build a strong bond before even entering a relationship [and yes, im aware that most ppl are like this, but with demis its a bit more harder to feel attraction towards someone else without building a friendship first. of course nothing wrong with not finding anyone attractive, and no, it doesnt mean youre "picky"] what is your gender? - a female demigoddess cause why not B) [female] what is your sex? - like i said above, a female demigoddess [female] what pronouns do you use? - she/her/they/them how long have you been in the lgbtqa+ community for? - i have no clue tbh, i didnt realize i was demi till like...what?...2-3 yrs ago??? but then again, looking back during my middle/high school yrs ive always been demi and never noticed cause i thought i was straight [tho thats still kind of true, if that makes sense??? idk im still figuring it out] have you ever dated anyone in the lgbtqa+ community? if yes, explain what they identify as - ive been a single pringle so far my whole life how did you find out about the lgbtqa+ community? - tbh i didnt know much about the lgbt+ [besides gay/bi] till like college when i joined tumblr, so mostly from tumblr then some from school too (: do you have any friends in the lgbtqa+ community? -its funny cause my irl friends are mostly straight [minus 1 who is bi-curious], while the majority of my online friends are either gay, ace or both [with a few exceptional straight friends]. theyre all pretty great :3c have you ever been at a pride event? - no, but from the pictures ive seen it looks super fun! on a scale 0-10, how confident are you with your sexuality? - hmmm i guess 10? but i do remember when i first figured it out i was self-conscious about it cause i thought i was one of /those/ ppl who just picked a random sexuality to look "cool" till after some hard thinking/teaching, ive realized im ace af and proud B) on a scale 0-10 how confident are you with your gender? - idk, i dont really think much about it??? not sure how to explain it, but even if i identify as a girl, i dont really see myself as one? [maybe thats just my mind being mean to me and separating myself from all the other girls and yadda yadda. long explanation] are you out to anyone yet? - my mom and brother know, and all my friends do too but i guess most ppl just forget/dont remember what demi is do your parents know about your gender/sexuality? - yeah my mom knows, tho she has a bit of trouble understanding it, but i do my best to remind her and teach her again, and again do you ever get misgendered? -tbh i dont even know :/ i remember one time some guy in hs called me a guy cause of how i was dressed? [school hoodie and some jeans] but then again, he was a pretty annoying and stupid person so i dont really count it plus i wasnt the only girl wearing something like that on a cold day have you gotten any hate for your gender/sexuality? - not gender, but ive had close ppl tell me that "ppl shouldnt label themselves like this, it doesnt make sense" so obviously that hurt ;v; in all honesty, do you think that theres a sexuality that might not be valid? - no, all sexuality is valid. tho those toxic/nasty ones, i dont label them as "sexualities," i label them as "ppl who shouldn't talk to me, or my dogs, ever" do you own any pride merch? - nope, im not sure where to find some cool ace merch. [there was this kickass sweater my friend showed me and i love it to bits, but there was no link to buy it, i cri T v T] plus even if i did, idk when or where would be a good time to wear them ;v; do you think that theres a possibility that you might change your mind about your orientations/gender in the future? - i know im pretty confident in being demi. as for gender, idk, i just have to see : P what are your thoughts on people that identify as cis? - cis? you mean that store "cause it's spring"? [i kid you not, thats an actual store name, ive seen it with my own eyes] lol jk, i identify as cis [???], but besides me, they good folk (: [of course those who bully peeps who dont see themselves as cis are just bullies and i dont want you near me or my dogs 8) ] what are your thoughts on people that identify as straight? - nothing wrong with it, if youre cis, youre cis just remember my cis folk, dont judge or be mean to those who are trans, bi-gendered, etc. theyre ppl like you if someone saw you on the street, would they realize that you are in the lgbtqa+ community? if yes, why? - honeslty idk, i dont think aro/ace ppl really have a "look" to them? [ive tried looking it up and nothing much comes up other than pride clothing] other than we're hella good lookin' folk, be aware of us plus most of the creepy guys that hit on me think im allo. so i just feel like a cleverly disguised spy lol [alloromantic/allosexual or "allo" for short = basically means that ppl who are not aromantic and/or asexual ] on a scale 0-10 how familiar are your friends and family with the lgbtqa+ community? - since i teach my mom and brother stuff about this whenever i get the chance, theyre pretty ok [tho my mom has a hard time remembering the ones outside the "basic" ones like lesbian/gay, bi, pan. it mostly has to do that spanish is her 1st language so english can be confusing for her] as for irl friends, idk. i hardly talk to them about this, i doubt they even remember/know im demi but for my online friends, im pretty sure they know, lol This tag is almost over, did you enjoy it? - it was fun, i hope more ppl are aware of the aro/ace community and possible learn a few things about it :3c i want more ppl to know more about the aro/ace communities cause even if our population is kind of small, we're still here...eating all the food at the parties...petting all the cute animals > v > do you love yourself for who you are? - of course, sure it was kind of hard to get to where i am, and at times i still dont really feel part of the lgbt+ community, but i try to at least accept myself (: shout out to my sweet friend @dirtydaggy for suggesting i do this, it was fun thanks again friendo cX also check out their journal! [they did the same meme too!!!]

also im gonna tag:

@lunarprinc3 @thatsweaterdude

if i miss anyone [friends/mutuals] or you would like/not like to be tagged in the future, let me know c:

#Nightly Posts #tagged #i guess i should tag this as #personal #too? since it does relate about me?

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