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#but now that I’m an adult I can actually own some of my own and really get to savor them
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AITA for insisting someone tag their posts properly/letting my followers know that the person refused to tag properly?
Tw pedophilia and incest mention
So yes I do know I can just block ppl and that’s what I ended up doing, but this isn’t just a personal issue—there’s lots of other ppl in this fandom.
I’m in this fandom for a media geared towards children so most of us are pretty young. Someone was posting stuff sexualizing minors, drawing two young twins in compromising positions, saying they want two guys to have sex and SPECIFYING that it’s while one of them is an adult and the other is underage, etc. And a lot of ppl in the fandom were like ok that stuff kinda triggers me actually, can you not? And their concerns were largely responded to by the fandom minority with “you can’t police the internet”
So my attempt to resolve things was “hey, I don’t want to see this stuff so I actually have the tags blocked so tumblr will filter the content for me! However, you didn’t properly tag those posts and just dropped them into the main tag of a children’s media, and some ppl have been triggered by it. Could you consider properly tagging so content filters worked?”
They replied “you can’t police the internet, disgusting media can exist you can’t censor it” and I was like yeah I know I’m not insisting you take it down I’m saying you need to tag it properly so that people who don’t want to see it don’t have to. And they said insisting that I put tags on it that will get it covered up for people just because it personally makes them uncomfortable still counted as censorship.
Anyway I made a lil post because my followers and mutuals were largely the people upset by having to see the posts, and I just said “hey the tags aren’t going to be tagged so the best course of action now is to just block the person :)” and most people found this really helpful but there were a few people who said I was making a distasteful callout post (ironically in a callout post of their own) and I’m definitely not a fan of callouts in general so now I feel like an asshole.
So AITA for how I handled the situation overall?
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drygrasses · 1 month
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Mariah got me the first volume of Way of the House Husband for my bday and it’s so good and so nice to have in my hands! Since I’ve been reading physical manga again I’ve really been trying to study what the different mangakas do with their styles, and it’s super interesting to contrast, for instance, how action/movement is conveyed in WotHH vs Eyeshield 21 (which is the other manga I’ve been rereading recently). I won’t go into details bc I’d be here forever but just as an example, WotHH uses very few panels overall (the volume itself is noticeably thinner than most manga I’ve seen) especially compared to Eyeshield, which has a ton of panels and a ton of action and visual gags crammed into each. Eyeshield also uses basically no screentones - all the shading is hatching - while WotHH liberally uses screentones bc it’s so atmosphere-heavy (a LOT of lighting from below for the intimidation factor LOL). Anyways these are random observations about manga I love but I do want to do actual art studies at some point
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seilon · 5 months
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you know im realizing now. with the exception of a few resident psychiatrists, ive had like. no good experiences with mental health professionals
#most recent occurance is eating my brain alive right now because I feel just so. degraded and offended by how she chose to evaluate me#I won’t get into it because it will make me spiral even more and get angrier and more overwhelmed but tldr she didn’t acknowledge#anything I said about my symptoms both out loud and via written test. chose to ignore or dismiss anything that came from me#as if I couldn’t be trusted to recount my own experiences and feelings. also did not take into account that I am an adult and thus have Had#to learn to mask and shit so while she brushed off So Much Shit because i seemed (in the three hours she met/saw me)#functional Enough. that’s only becuaee I put in a Lot of effort every day to do so. and that effort does not last forever#and of course because. like I said I’m an adult. I’ve been yelled at I’ve been punished I’ve been put through courses and#through the ringer of Society in general to the point where I mimic Normal Person Behavior at least somewhat decently when im prepared to do#so. she treated me like a child and didn’t acknowledge most of my major issues. ignored me when I said I don’t avoid social situations out#of fear/anxiety I avoid them because it takes a lot of energy for me to mask and try and read people and act accordingly#and in her report suggested generalized anxiety. part of the reason I was there is because anxiety HASNT ever properly described my#avoidant behavior.#and just. yeah I said I wouldn’t get into it but here we are. this always happens#it’s just eating at me because I keep realizing more and more things she just fucking disregarded. literally wrote that I ‘listed many#relevant symptoms’ and kept it at that. did not actually give those symptoms any validity. basically just implied I was listing things#just. becuase?#some shit was just blatantly wrong like claiming that I have a variety of interests when I told her outright that I can only be interested#in one specific interest at a time- example being the entirety of last year being only interested in One (1) video game. and this is to such#an extent that it’s difficult to make and maintain friendships because I have no interest in anything else but that One Thing for however#long and won’t care about other things people try to get me into in order to have something in common with me or whatever or just. yeah.#issues.#she didn’t acknowledge the issues I have with low empathy or overstimulation. didn’t acknowledge my history of taking things literally to#such an extent that it has caused problems with people. didn’t acknowledge anything that was self-reported and not being displayed in that#moment right in front of her eyes. it’s just. really really disappointing and. yeah degrading honestly#especially because it took months upon MONTHS to get this fucking appointment#and to just be not listened to and dismissed.#anyway. yeah I’ve also just only ever had really shallow relationships with therapists (at best)#and have never felt helped by them or like they ever put in much effort to try to Get to me so to speak. only my psychiatrists have#been open minded and Listened to me. but they were always residents so they’d leave in a year or so. I don’t have one at this point.#kibumblabs
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i am simply going to kill myself because my brother listened to my snapchat out loud in front out our mother and aunt and now both those bitches are fucking babying me
#yes! i had a fucking breakdown earlier bc i spilled food and ketchup all over my comforter and i was upset about everything#but don’t fucking look at me like a dying fucking kitten and go ‘are u doing better🥺🥺’ like i was but now i want to die bc ur looking and r#and speaking to me like that i am not a fucking baby and i’m not going to fucking explode at you either like that. isn’t how i act or react#so fuciing. just shut the fuck up dude idc if ur trying to be caring or whatever the fuck i’m not a BABY#I woke up from my nap and went to pee and my aunt and mom are like omg r u ok are u better than earlier did u have a good nap#like CAN OTU SHUT UP PLEASE I JUST FUCKING WOKE UP I DONT WANT TO S P E S K SND I DONT WANT TO BE SPOKEN TO BUT EXPECIALLY NOT IN THE SAME#TONE THAT YOU TALK TO BABIES AND CHILDREN IN LIKE WHAT THE FUCK I AM AN ADULT#LITERALLY. 25 YEARS OLD I WANT TO HIT YOU BOTH FOR NEVER LEARNING TO SPEAK TO ME PROPERLY EVER!!!!!!!!#and i’m fucking annoyed with my brother i fucking hate that he just listens to and replies to videos on snapchat out fucjing loud in front#of literally everyone and anyone he simply doesn’t give a fuck as if i don’t say some fuck shit or whatever the fuck to him what is WRONG#WITHYOU FUCK#like what if i was shit talking our mom or something ??????? fucking christ i’m so annoyed what the fuck i hate this shit i’m so :|#i woke up wanting to be in a good mood and vibe until i have to go to actual sleep but instead i’m in a bad fucking mood again. thanks guys!#fucking looooove it so much i love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i need to find something to actively stop making me angry bc i’m like. going to ruin my own night if i don’t#also i FUCKING woke up with FUCKING acid reflux i want to scream from the rooftops so fucking bad#anyways i guess i’ll go look at abby or something idfk
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nothingweirdhere · 2 years
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i think that having a friend group made up of deeply unhappy people when you’re growing up can be traumatizing actually. like… i’m sure it can’t be good for a person to be in an environment where pretty much everyone you know & interact with is being abused and/or is actively suicidal
#reflecting on how fucked up being a kid/teenager is#adults like to act like childhood is all just. innocence & sunshine & rainbows#and like. bruh. if y’all knew the HALF of it#(i mean. they in a lot of cases they… they really should)#(like. you were there??? you know some of the shit i been through????)#but like. idk. i feel like i’ve never seen it acknowledged that like#being around people who are coming to school with fresh cuts and bruises and whatnot#or texting you like ‘i’m miserable and i hate myself and i wanna kms’ is like#it’s exhausting#like… teenagers are not meant to be suicide/abuse hotlines or therapists or whatever#it damages you i think#and ofc it sucks to grow up being abused and mentally ill#hiding your own cuts and dodging questions and just being like. steeped in all this misery#and fuck like it’s not as though my friends then were just crying to each other 24/7#we had fun!!! lots of it!!! but there was just So Much going on beneath the surface. even if it wasn’t always apparent#but it had the like. undercurrent of All That Shit going on beneath the surface#and ofc it always could be. sometimes yknow#you’ve got all these unstable people together#and you can go from having a wonderful fun time to an actual nightmare in seconds#one person says the wrong thing to someone having a bad day and now the whole group is in a panic#either everyone’s fighting or everyone’s scrambling to do damage control#in hindsight. the fact that sometimes it was a struggle just to hold the group together/keep everyone on good terms? massive fuckin red flag#and like ofc i’m not trying to say that mentally ill people can’t be friends or some shit like that#but when everyone has unhealthy coping mechanisms and is prone to lashing out or ‘venting’ by just kinda. unloading all their baggage onto u#like. idk. it fucks you up a bit i think#sometimes it was like walking on eggshells feeling like one wrong word and your friend’s death would be on your hands and like… yeah not fun#suicide tw#self harm tw#abuse tw#jx.txt
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nope-body · 1 year
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revehae · 26 days
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rose creek motel
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pairing ↠ jaehyun x (f) reader
genre .. warnings ↠ smut, age gap (18+), drowning, noncon, baby trapping, unprotected sex, oral, angst
summary ↠ after eighteen years of complying with the rules of your domineering parents, you finally decide it’s time to wipe the slate clean and move away. rose creek motel is nothing in the grand scheme of your life, especially with a history of serial killers lurking around, but when you meet jaehyun, you decide that you’re not in any hurry after all.
wc ↠ 15.8k (i…dont Know)
a/n ↠ okay tbh i intended for the last smut scene to be Darker but you have to understand i was listening to horizon and forever only giggling and smiling and shit. cut me some slack pls. before you read, heed the warnings. i do not intend to glorify age gaps or predatory behaviors.
don’t like it, don’t read.
after a three-hour train ride to another city and another hour of wandering, you were thrilled to stumble across a motel before dusk. at first, there didn’t seem to be any nearby.
it was a smaller one, not part of any major chains throughout the country. there didn’t appear to be many staff nor customers. there was one dude who checked you in at the front desk and maybe a handful of cars in the lot.
not that it mattered. you wouldn’t be here long enough to be concerned about the sheer size of the place. a few days, maybe less, but certainly not more. the grand city of newark was waiting for you and you were borderline impatient to get there. but on the other hand, you wanted to savor this little trip. 
it would mark the first of your own, and the true beginning of your lifelong journey to find yourself.
any other person most likely would have been desperate to kick off their shoes and head to their room for the night, but the creek across the road from the motel caught your eye. you rushed over in spite of your aching feet as though it wouldn’t be there tomorrow, ambling along the riverbank. 
the waters rushed and crashed into slew of rocks, and you closed your eyes as you took in the sound. you could hear birds singing late afternoon songs and the rustling of trees in the early march spring. 
footsteps behind you startled you out of your peace. your foot slipped and your body lurched forward. had not a pair of big, burly arms clasped around you tightly, you would have slipped into the tiny creek. 
you glanced up in shock, meeting a handsome pair of innocent eyes. “sorry, i didn’t mean to scare you,” he said, pulling you away from the bank. 
when you were safely on your own feet again, the handsome stranger released you. you straightened your skirt and smiled up at him. “it’s fine. thank you for catching me.”
“no problem. it would have been my fault if you fell.” he introduced, “i’m jaehyun. i work at the motel across here.”
you glanced back at the motel, as if you hadn’t seen it before. “oh,” you said, surprised. but the uniform clinging to him gave that away. “not much staff, huh?”
jaehyun smiled. he had deep, adorable dimples. “well, we are a pretty small motel. we do what we can with what we have.”
“do you get a lot of visitors?”
“usually just people with a road trip gone bad,” jaehyun said. “i’d ask what a girl like you is doing out here by yourself, but i don’t want to seem like a creep.”
you laughed, wondering how that would be possible. when you were as handsome as this boy was, it would’ve been more difficult. “no, it’s okay. i’m actually not having a car trouble. i got here by train. i’m on my way to newark.”
“newark,” jaehyun repeated, seemingly interested. “where from?”
“boston,” you chirped. “i’m starting afresh. my birthday was a few days ago and as my parents like to put it, i’ve ‘gone rogue.’”
jaehyun’s eyes went a little wider in surprise. “happy belated birthday,” he said. “how old are you now?”
you shrugged, deciding not to reveal too much information. you were maybe naive to a fault, but not a complete idiot. “that’s a secret. i’m an adult, though.”
jaehyun snickered. “that’s obvious. you checked yourself into the motel, didn’t you?”
well, that was true. but the exterior of the building seemed so shady, you’d initially doubted they would even bother with identification. you were grateful they didn’t require you to be twenty-one. a second longer of wandering and you would have collapsed on the side of the road. 
ignoring his question, you gave one of your own. “how old are you?”
mocking you, jaehyun put a finger to his lip and said, “that’s a secret. but i’m an adult, too.”
you shook your head, but there was an amused smile on your face. “fair enough,” you mumbled, turning towards the creek.
jaehyun’s attention shifted with yours. “it’s called rose creek, our namesake,” he told you. “not much to see out here.”
“that’s not true,” you disagreed. “there’s a ton to see in nature. you just have to open your eyes and look.”
jaehyun seemed amused, giving you a look. 
noticing his furrowed brows, you pointed towards the middle of the water. “look,” you said softly. “there’s a cute little baby turtle right there. they love creeks, because they’re an easy place to find tasty victims.”
jaehyun’s eyes focused, landing on what he had thought was a rock and only noticed upon further inspection was indeed a turtle, chilling in its leathery shell. “damn, you’ve got a good eye.”
you giggled. “i grew up near a creek. you learn to pick up on those sort of things.”
“ah,” jaehyun replied, nodding his understanding. “should we name it?”
“what would we name it?”
jaehyun shrugged. “squirtle.”
that almost prompted you to roll your eyes. “that’s too cliché.”
“then, what do you suggest?” jaehyun asked with a grin, crossing his arms. 
“i don’t know,” you mumbled. “donatello.”
jaehyun snickered. “and that’s any better?”
you threw up your hands. “okay. fine. how about… archie.”
well, that was different from the other suggestions. “why archie?”
“because turtles remind me of that one studio ghibli film about the red turtle,” you told him, lowering your head shyly as you explained yourself. “and when i think of red, i think of that guy from riverdale.”
“isn’t that that show about teens dying?”
you shrugged. “don’t know. never watched it.”
something about that was amusing to jaehyun and he decided that your suggestion was fitting. “alright. then, archie it is.”
you beamed. 
“well, it’s getting dark. i don’t think i have to tell you not to wander too late. you seem like a smart girl,” jaehyun said.
you glanced around at the shadows falling onto the rustling trees and the last gleams of today’s light shimmering on the creek. “you’re right. i should head up,” you replied, turning to face him. “have a good night, jaehyun.”
when you turned away, jaehyun realized he never got your name.
after a long night of trying to catch up on some much-needed sleep, you decided to head down to the pool. it was nice to see a motel with a couple of accommodations. they would make a good enough resting spot before you returned to your travels tomorrow.
there were a number of lounge chairs facing the pool, but instead you chose to climb into a hammock a few feet away from it. it was a nice spring day, neither too hot nor too cold, and you folded your arms behind your head while fighting the urge to close your eyes.
there weren’t a lot of people staying at or near the hotel, so you weren’t surprised to be alone. to think of it, you hadn’t seen anyone but a couple of staff. although you did walk past a room blasting heavy rock.
you heard footsteps, and turned to see jaehyun, sporting his burgundy uniform. he had a cart of towels, probably coming to restock. “jaehyun,” you called out.
jaehyun blinked up in surprise, likely not expecting to see you there. but when he did, he smiled and started to step over. “hey,” he said, digging his hands in his pockets. “you never told me your name.”
“whoops. silly me,” you replied, then told him your name. 
you watched him process it, as if he was deciding in his head whether he liked it or not. he repeated it quietly to himself and said, “that’s very pretty.”
“thanks,” you replied, bursting into giggles. “how’s work going so far?”
“oh, you know,” jaehyun started, gesturing over to his cart with his shoulder. “nothing new. i never thought i would complain about not having enough work to do.”
you snorted. “i get what you mean. i was a camp counselor one summer. those kids drove me mad, you know. but when they were gone, i cried.”
there was a shimmer in jaehyun’s eyes. “do you like kids?”
“yeah. they can be a handful, but they’re delightful. honestly, i don’t trust anyone who doesn’t like kids. how can you be mad at someone so innocent and full of life?”
jaehyun nodded his agreement. “i realized a long time ago that people who don’t like kids are always bitter and unhappy with their own lives.”
that made you snicker, and the more you thought about it, he was probably right. “look at that. projection at its finest.”
“can i ask a personal question?”
“sure,” you said reluctantly. “what’s on your mind?”
jaehyun seemed to hesitate, battling with himself in his head for a long minute before he asked, “would you ever have kids?”
that wasn’t so bad of a question. you hummed, not really having to think about it. you already knew your answer. “i’ve dreamt of settling down and having kids with the right person since i was young.”
jaehyun gawked a bit. “really?”
“yes, really,” you told him, laughing at his astonishment. “i guess you can say i’ve always had big dreams. is that surprising?”
“no, it’s…,” jaehyun trailed, finding no words. “those big dreams of yours. they couldn’t happen in boston?”
now that was a bit more personal. you blew out a breath. “well,” you began, glancing at the unnervingly still pool. “i just wanted a new environment.”
jaehyun was tempted to press, to figure you out even more, but he didn’t want to risk startling you off. “maybe you were fated to stop by a really old motel in the middle of nowhere.”
“and meet you?”
something about that made jaehyun smile. you were so smart. “and meet me,” he repeated.
by now, you knew that jaehyun was kind of into you, the same way you were kind of into him. so, you decided to test the waters. “too bad that i’m leaving tomorrow,” you murmured quietly. 
jaehyun heard you, and he frowned, though there was nothing he could do. it’s not like he expected you to put your whole life on hold for a guy you’d just met.
or maybe there was something he could do. “what if i gave you a couple of days on the house?” jaehyun asked.
your eyes flitted up at his deep brown pair. “really?”
jaehyun nodded. “what’s a few days?”
he had a solid point there. what was a few days? newark would still be there later on, and plus you had been taking your sweet time to make it there anyways. you weren’t in a hurry to get to this new life.
“then, i guess i’d stay,” you said, grinning wildly.
jaehyun mimicked a victorious grin. “i think i’d like it if you stayed much longer than that, but i know you’ve got big plans.”
in all honesty, that surprised you a little. he was talking to you as if you had been here weeks, and not less than twenty-four hours. “what would someone like me do in connecticut?”
jaehyun shrugged. “we’ve got… yale.”
you snorted. “and what makes you think i’m smart enough to get into yale?”
“actually, a lot of things. but i’d better get to work before i get caught slacking on the job,” jaehyun said, pointing to a camera projecting from the side of the motel that had a complete overview of the pool.
you gawked. “those things work?”
jaehyun laughed at your surprise. it was addictively cute, seeing his dimples deepen and his eyes sparkle. “you’re surprised?”
“a little bit,” you confessed quietly.
to your surprise, jaehyun’s hand softly brushed your arm. it was so gentle, so fleeting, you could’ve convinced yourself it never happened had you not felt a lingering tickle where he’d touched you. “see you around,” he said to you featherly.
“see you,” you replied in a small voice, having lost it all. your eyes were fixed to his back as he walked away.
damn it, you were wanting more of this guy you barely knew.
almost half an hour passed before you eventually decided to head back up to your room. you wanted nothing more than to get to know jaehyun better, but you would never interfere with a man’s pay. plus you were pretty confident that he would come to you when he was free enough.
there was a guy hovering over the railing next to your room, because he had been staying in the one beside yours. there was a joint between his fingers, although you had noted a couple of signs prohibiting it, not that anyone seemed to care. the stench of marijuana was all you could smell when you passed certain doors.
you had expected to slip past him and enter your room without interruption, so imagine your shock when he said, “i wouldn’t walk around here wearing stuff like that if i were you.”
like first nature, you tightened the towel around you. “excuse me?” 
the man didn’t look at you, facing the world. you could see the creek from here, and that was where his gaze seemed to be rooted, too. “when you’ve lived as long as me, you know things,” he told you. “you see that creek over there? a lot of bodies used to turn up there in the eighties. young girls that stayed here a night or two.”
you said nothing, because you had nothing to say. the obvious discomfort on your face was enough. 
“i’m just saying. you look like you’re alone. wouldn’t want anything bad happening to you,” he said, putting out the joint and walking away.
well, that was single-handedly the weirdest interaction you’d had at this motel so far. you hurried to unlock your room, immediately locking the door behind yourself.
you tried not to think much of it as you changed clothes, but you couldn’t help but wonder if that man was telling the truth or if he’d just had a little too much to smoke. either way, it was over twenty years ago. jaehyun had mentioned nothing to you about any serial killers.
then again, he was clearly trying to get you to stay. the last thing he would’ve wanted was to scare you off.
chill the fuck out. just don’t hang around any old people. like that guy, you told yourself, comforting.
given that you didn’t go out again that day, you didn’t see jaehyun at all until you finally emerged from your room the next afternoon in pursuit of a late breakfast. but when you glanced across the railing, you saw a figure all too familiar facing the creek.
forgoing breakfast for now, you raced downstairs and headed the road. they weren’t busy at all, although you still had a habit of checking before you crossed. 
jaehyun heard you approaching, but didn’t turn around to face you. “how come i just know that it’s you?” he asked. 
you snickered, but it wasn’t like too many people would be strolling around this creek out of a curious interest. “maybe i have really distinguishable footsteps?”
laughing, jaehyun finally met your eyes and beckoned you closer. you obliged, cautiously stepping to his side.
it was quiet for a moment, but it wasn’t awkward. the two of you were marveling at the beauty of nature together, enticed by what you saw. it was sunnier today than it was yesterday and sunlight filtered through the trees, shimmering on the water.
“i’ve been thinking about what you told me,” jaehyun finally said after a minute or two. “when you said there’s a lot to see in nature. and ever since, i’ve been looking and appreciating the little things i didn’t notice before. you were right.”
“of course, i am,” you replied, but the cockiness was to hide the flutter of your heart. “when i’m sick of human nature, it’s always nice to come back to earth. it’s beautiful.”
jaehyun bobbed his head in agreement. “archie’s over there.” he pointed somewhere along the far end of the creek. “it likes the sun.”
“yeah. sun basking is, like, a turtle’s favorite hobby,” you said, poking your head out to spot the cute baby turtle. you were grinning from ear to ear. 
“what a simple life,” jaehyun said, lightheartedly shaking his head in envy.
you burst into giggles. but that reminded you of one of the many curious thoughts you had about jaehyun, and you figured now was a great time to ask. “hey, i didn’t want to ask this before because i didn’t know how you take it. but you don’t look like the typical guy in motel business.”
from the look on his face, jaehyun was anything but offended. “it’s my parents’ business,” he explained. “i just work here part-time.”
“ah.” you nodded your understanding, finding that a satisfactory answer. but it only made you want to know who jaehyun was when he wasn’t hard at work, donning the family uniform.
then, you remembered what that guy told you about the murders and realized that perhaps jaehyun knew more about if they genuinely existed. 
jaehyun beat you to a word. “by the way, are you going to tell me how old you really are? because adult could mean you’re twenty-four or forty-two.”
you rolled your eyes. he was being funny. “i’m eighteen.”
“damn,” jaehyun said, wincing. “i’m nine years older than you.”
that was totally surprising. “really?”
“you don’t see the wrinkles?” jaehyun asked, pointing to his smooth, wrinkleless face.
god, he was alarmingly handsome. not to mention his skin looked literally poreless. “please. i thought you were twenty-three at the oldest.”
“that’s funny,” jaehyun said with amusement. “i thought you were at least old enough to drink. damn, you carry yourself like you’re older.”
that wasn’t the first time you had heard something along the line of those words, but damn, this guy was pushing thirty?
jaehyun seemed to have sobered a little the next time you glanced at his face, like he was worried about something. “is it weird now?”
“no,” you told him too quickly, maybe because you didn’t want it to be. “not unless you make it weird.”
it seemed like time stopped and the world was no longer spinning for a minute as you and jaehyun gazed into each other’s eyes. and the closer he came to you, your noses nearly brushing, the less you could breathe. “am i making it weird?” he whispered.
you couldn’t speak, so you simply shook your head, gaze lowering to his perfect lips.
everything happened in an instant. one second, you were thinking about how he was perfect from head to toe, and the very next, your heart was soaring as his lips met yours. your eyes fluttered closed, and you felt as if you were being whisked away into a wonderland.
the two of you kissed with heat and passion, overcome with the urge to swallow one another whole, and jaehyun was somewhat surprised by how talented of a kisser you were. the feeling was mutual. you had kissed a handful of boys, but never any with this much finesse.
maybe you had been wanting to kiss jaehyun this whole time, and never knew until you had him.
jaehyun broke away after a moment or two, impressed that you weren’t the first to tap out. something about kissing you was addictive. damn, it made a pretty picture in his head, your arms thrown around his neck and his on your back.
“damn, baby,” jaehyun said, catching his breath. “where’d you learn to kiss like that?”
you peered up at him with a smile, wondering if he somehow got even handsomer in the time your eyes had been closed. “you say i carry myself like i’m older than i am. well, my folks would beg to differ.”
that answer was vague as hell, but jaehyun understood what you meant perfectly. “ah, teenage rebellion? you make out with a lot of guys to piss your parents off?”
“sure, let’s go with that,” you mumbled, still none too keen on disclosing what was officially your old life. then, you caught a glimpse of his lips, and burst into laughter. “you’ve got a little something there.”
“yeah?” jaehyun asked, swiping his thumb over a lipgloss stain that you’d left on the corner of his mouth.
“a little bit to the left,” you told him, trying - and failing miserably - to keep a straight face. “no, my left.”
jaehyun pretended to get annoyed, grumbling, “if i kiss you again, will it matter that i wipe it off?”
at the thought of kissing jaehyun again, your heart skipped a beat or two, but you tried not to show it on your face. “i think that would defeat the purpose.”
jaehyun smiled, and before you knew it, your lips were pressed together again. all you could hear was the obvious wet smacking of your lips, the soft murmuring of the wind, and the quiet rippling of the water.
but you could feel his touch, his hand gingerly falling from the middle of your back to the apex of your thighs. jaehyun pulled away from your lips again, but only to kiss you on your jaw and neck. and everything about it made you feel hot inside out, as if you were scalding.
feeling you tensing beneath his fingertips, jaehyun grinned smugly. he leaned into your ear, whispering, “how about we head up to your room, yeah?”
you were no idiot. it was plain what that meant and a kind of nervous excitement settled in the pit of your stomach like a kaleidoscope of butterflies. “okay,” you replied, letting him take you by the hand.
almost the second you were safely behind closed doors, jaehyun pressed you against the nearest wall and kissed you fiercely. although you were taken by surprise, you returned the kiss with the same amount of fervor, slightly sticking your tongue into his mouth.
mischief curled onto jaehyun’s lips, pleasantly surprised by all the little things you were initiating. his hands slowly wandered down your body for a minute, one hand at your ass and the other cupping your breasts over your shirt. you made a soft breathy noise that had jaehyun scorching with the itch to fuck you, and it only increased tenfold when he noticed your eager hands fumbling with the buckle on his belt.
while your fingers were hard at work, jaehyun’s were too, waiting for the perfect time to slip underneath your shirt. you shuddered when the tips of his fingers brushed against your stiff nipples, whispering jaehyun’s name. 
“come over here,” jaehyun said, leading you over to the bed. 
he gently lowered you down onto the mattress and started to undress you piece by piece in between kisses, pressing his lips against every bit he exposed. it was all you could do to contain your agitation, holding your breath as his face crept lower. 
to keep the more uneasy thoughts out of your head, you focused on jaehyun, asking, “aren’t you on the clock?”
“that’s the thing about working for your parents,” jaehyun said without looking up, giving his undivided attention to your legs as he yanked your skirt off. “what are the odds that they’ll fire their only son?”
“oh,” you said. he did look damn fine in that burgundy uniform, but you would’ve liked to see him without it on.
the more naked you became, jaehyun saw the way you shuddered nervously, and chuckled quietly to himself. “you’ve never done this before.”
he wasn’t asking. that was clear by his tone. it was an astute observation that you couldn’t even deny.
you frowned. “is it obvious?”
“a little bit,” jaehyun replied honestly, smiling at you. “i was a virgin before, too.”
you grinned bashfully. not a second later, your eyes made the mistake of glancing down and getting a eyeful of the imprint of his dick, and you looked away, swallowing the lump in your throat. “i don’t mind kissing assholes, but they say that your body is a temple, and i’ve never met anyone worthy, i guess.”
jaehyun raised a brow and pressed, “until now?”
that made you chuckle. jaehyun was very good at reading in between the lines, like you. “until now,” you repeated. “you’re my first.”
“and hopefully your last,” jaehyun flirted.
the stupidest smile was on your face. it was a foolish thing to hope, all things considered, but it made you feel pined after. “jaehyun, what was your first time like?” you asked.
jaehyun seemed a little grim when he heard your question, but before you could apologize for potentially overstepping, he replied, “it was with someone i had been with for a very long time, and thought i would be with forever.”
there was no doubt in your mind that it had been someone jaehyun loved and lost, and you couldn’t help but feel for him. 
not wanting the mood to shift, jaehyun quickly changed the topic back to you, and everything he wanted to do to you. “trust me,” he said. “i’m going to do everything i can to make sure that even if you go, you never forget me.”
you barely had time to respond before jaehyun tugged your panties away, dragging a pair of fingers through your wet folds. you made a tiny noise as he used them to gauge how wet you were. dissatisfied, he sank to his knees, lips meeting your folds. 
jaehyun darted his tongue out, circling your sensitive clit immediately after. you hadn’t expected the sensation to be so sharp, especially so soon, and you gasped, thighs tensing together. jaehyun got a hold of them and kept them apart as he pleased, making you take every second. 
“jae,” you rasped, unable to get his full name out. 
jaehyun grinned, lips curling against your pussy. damn, you were a sensitive one. if you were reacting like this already, what would you do when he got inside you?
you squirmed as jaehyun continued to go down on you, but it was useless. he was so strong, holding you in place as your body reacted to every single swipe of his tongue against your bundle of nerves. it was too much stimulation and yet jaehyun didn’t seem to be bothered, thriving on your pleasure.
god, every sound you made was a whimper of jaehyun’s name. he couldn’t deny that it made his dick twitch in his underwear, aching to be buried balls deep inside you, but he was holding out for your sake. as badly as he wanted to fuck you senseless, he wanted your first time together to be unforgettable for the right reasons even more.
if he didn’t, what would make him any different from those assholes you let kiss you purely to make some kind of rebellious statement?
jaehyun didn’t want to be a statement, the thing you fell back to after all else had failed. he wanted to be the answer, the one to stitch you back together, the one you crashed into when the tides got high.
you had never felt anything like this before in your entire life. of course, there had been plenty times where you had gotten yourself off, but you had never known pleasure of this magnitude until now. your own hands had nothing on jaehyun’s and his damn skilled mouth.
jaehyun liked how sensitive your body was. it was all too easy to get a reaction out of you, and he was so attracted to how you couldn’t help but respond to every suck and lick, shuddering in his grasp without control.
“jaehyun, i can’t…,” you trailed, fingers desperate to clasp something, to anchor yourself. you would have wound them through his hair, but you were afraid of accidentally hurting him, and settled for the sheets.
“yes, you can,” he said, pulling away from your dripping cunt for a few seconds. “you’re doing good, baby. cum on my tongue.”
it felt as if you were going to burst from the inside and you didn’t really want him to stop, regardless of how incessant the pleasure was. no matter how hard you tried, it was impossible to keep still. you wanted more than you knew your body could handle.
to say nothing of the fact that jaehyun was doing everything in his power to drag you to your breaking point. he knew exactly what to do to have you crying out his name. for a moment or three, he had you convinced that he was everything you ever wanted. now, it was too hard to think.
in a matter of minutes, you were coming undone with a whimper so sharp you were certain your temporary neighbor would come knocking on the door.
“that’s it,” jaehyun crooned with the slyest fucking grin on his face, replacing his tongue with a pair of hefty fingers.
you tried to shove his hand away, the stimulation tearing you to shreds, but jaehyun was keen on breaking you down until you couldn’t be destroyed any further. until he had ruined you for any other man.
your bare chest heaved violently as you fought to catch your breath, blinking a couple times to clear the wet daze of your eyes. there was nothing you could do except silently gawk at jaehyun like he had singlehandedly just stolen your heart.
he finally pulled away, smugly asking, “need a break?”
after a few seconds of gathering your bearings, you rose to your knees and grabbed jaehyun by the back of his head to bring his lips to yours, pulling him down to the creaky mattress beneath you. jaehyun was surprised, but he liked how assertive you were, resting his hands at the back of your legs and letting you sink your weight onto him. 
it was criminal how good of a kisser he was. and if that didn’t already have you dripping, then the way he touched you all over would have. you felt his hard dick against your thigh and couldn’t think of a time where you had wanted anything so badly. 
“take these off,” you said to him when you pulled away from his mouth, tapping his underwear. “and i want to be on top.”
jaehyun snickered in amusement. “whatever she wants,” he said, reaching for his underwear the second you climbed off.
your mouth ran dry the moment you caught a glimpse of jaehyun’s intimidatingly thick length and you were certain that he was going to split you in half. you desperately didn’t want to come off as a shy virgin, but every second that passes made you slightly antsy.
fortunately, there was something to steal your attention away from jaehyun’s impressively large size, and your entire demeanor shifted. “wait, fuck. do you have a condom?”
“close your eyes,” jaehyun said. 
you immediately furrowed your brows, wondering what he was up to. 
noticing your wariness, jaehyun added reassuringly, “five seconds. come on, i won’t do anything weird. i promise.”
reluctance was written all over your face in a large bold font and you had your doubts, but you chose to trust him, watching the back of your eyelids and counting up to five in your head. 
when your eyes fluttered open, jaehyun was grinning like an idiot with a condom between his fingers.
you gawked, astonished. “where’d you get that from so fast - up your ass?”
jaehyun burst into laughter and only said, “a magician never reveals his secrets.”
“give me this,” you said, taking the condom packet out of his hands to tear it open. 
“bossy,” jaehyun mumbled under his breath.
that made you giggle, gingerly placing the condom over the head of his cock, and jaehyun noticed how your bottom lip stuck out when you were heavily concentrated.
you were too enamored with his dick to notice that he was staring at you as though you were the prettiest thing in the whole universe. for some odd reason, the more you looked at it, the less scary it seemed. “it’s actually kind of cute.”
jaehyun wasn’t expecting to hear those words and it completely snapped him out of his little daze. you glanced up at him when you heard him quietly snickering. “you’re something else, you know?” he asked.
“i know,” you replied, having heard many things along the lines of that statement. “you ready?”
it was ironic that you were the one asking him, but jaehyun played along anyway. “show me what you got, baby.”
you moved to straddle him again, raising yourself over his size and grabbing him in your hands to steadily lower yourself. the two of you sighed together in unison as your slick walls clamped around him.
there was one reason why you firmly chose to be on top and that was because you wanted to directly control the pace in case things got to be too much for you. you took your sweet time to sink down deeper and deeper, never too keen on doing too much too fast. in spite of the great lengths jaehyun went to prepare you, it was still a tight fit.
it felt like the wind had been knocked out of you, as if you were choking on your own breaths, and your heart was pounding louder than ever.
“that’s it, baby,” jaehyun said, gathering your soft thighs in his big hands. “is it too big for you?”
you shook your head, having your pride to protect and defend with your entire body. “no, i can take it.”
jaehyun grinned proudly. “i know you can. that’s my girl.”
now that was a sure-fire way to get you hot and bothered. your heart fluttered at the praise and you hid your smile in your elbow, tempted to ride the soul out of him.
you were maybe somewhat impressed by how deep inside of you jaehyun was and definitely plenty aroused. you had feared how far he could go, but now that your cunt was involuntarily tightening around him, gushing around him hotly, it was everything you wanted.
jaehyun was as astonished by you as you were by him, watching you take his cock like a fucking champ. you may have been fighting to let all of him inside, but you were doing a mighty good job, all things considered. there weren’t too many girls he’d had with your determination to ride.
you had finally found a comfortable pace and although there was a little pain, the rapture on your expression was something that you couldn’t deny. you were watching jaehyun watch you, noticing his face tense in a similar manner beneath you. 
and it was to die for. 
“oh my god,” you moaned, hands falling down onto his naked chest. 
jaehyun couldn’t help but think the same thing with how you were gripping him for dear life and he was barely holding it together. to say nothing of the way you were crying out his name again like it was the only word you knew. he couldn’t help but think about how nobody else had ever heard your lips part open to whimper their name. 
and he would be keeping it that way, no matter the measures he had to take to ensure he kept you in his big, strong arms. 
you leaned into jaehyun, pressing your lips to his as you fucked yourself on him. the tiny room was overwhelmed with sound, the bed creaking and your lips locking, and your bodies meeting in a loud wet smack. something about it turned you on more than you thought you were capable. 
jaehyun thought he could watch you on top of him for hours upon hours. his hands wandered to your breasts as you kissed him, tenderly fondling them and brushing his thumbs over your stiff tits. you were riding him into the night like there was no tomorrow, like you had something to prove, and he loved every second of it.
the softest of whimpers escaped your mouth when you pulled back, brushing your hair behind your ears. you couldn’t fathom the ecstasy hanging over you, blindsiding you. maybe it was in your head, but you swore you could feel him in the pit of your stomach, and you didn’t know whether that was normal or not.
jaehyun affectionately gathered your hands in his, holding them as you desperately tried to anchor yourself and make sense of the many things you were feeling at once.
it wasn’t an overstatement to say that you were seeing stars. you and jaehyun were getting each other off, every guttural sound he made taking you to the moon, and every twist your face made sending him crashing into the atmosphere.
you were flush against him, kneading his cock perfectly, and that made jaehyun mumble curses underneath his breath. “goddamn, beautiful. slow down,” he said.
but you didn’t want to slow down the pace, you only wanted to keep the fire burning. you laughed breathlessly and teased, “why? is it too much for you?”
jaehyun chuckled and swore as he closed his eyes, not wanting to admit that you were unraveling him quicker than he’d expected. if this was your first time, why did it feel like you were deflowering him, exposing him to a kind of euphoria that was unlike anything he had felt before. 
he had been intent on dragging things out, but you were making him weak underneath your fingertips. damn, he wanted to thrust his hips up into yours, but he had a feeling you wanted to take the lead, for your own sake. 
“maybe it is,” jaehyun confessed, much to your surprise. “maybe you’re getting me off too fast and it’s hurting my pride.”
“cum, baby,” you whispered sultrily, wanting to see a guy like him fold under pressure. it would be like making a grown man cry. “i want to see it.”
jaehyun sucked in a breath at those words, accepting his fate. you were bringing him closer to the end and there was nothing that he could do about it, even if he wanted to.
you were glistening in coats of sweat from head to toe, and your thighs were starting to ache, but all you had to do was hold on for a little while longer. it was obvious that jaehyun wasn’t far from the finish line, and in truth, neither were you.
it didn’t help that jaehyun was unintentionally imagining things that would get him off sooner. thoughts of you were all that occupied him, picturing how it feel to fuck you raw and hard, holding you squarely beneath him. you were pretty on top of him, but he was enamored with how you had squirmed and cried out underneath him, too.
you had forgotten about everything else in the entire world while you rode jaehyun to the ends of it and back. no part of you thought about your hectic life back home, about the life you’d planned in boston, and everything in between.
the only thing on your mind was jaehyun and in spite of being totally consumed by something, it was the most peaceful your thoughts had been in months.
you could feel jaehyun’s eyes rooted on you and glanced down to meet his gaze, noticing him smiling up at you. when he looked at you like that, he made you feel so wanted. you were naked and bare in front of him, in a literal sense, and he’d accepted every piece of you.
“what are you smiling at, silly?” you asked in between thick breaths. 
“you,” jaehyun replied, like it was obvious. “you’re so damn beautiful, you know. i could fuck you forever.”
not wanting to show how much that had gotten to you, you quipped, “i think i’m the one doing the fucking here.”
jaehyun chuckled, and you thought it was because of what you had said, but he had felt you pulsing around his cock, and he was amused by how easy it was.
the room was getting hotter than ever and it was becoming harder to breathe with the stuffy air. you almost thought that your skin was on fire, and you were scalding on the inside. you were going even harder now, chasing relief.
jaehyun was losing his self-control and he couldn’t help but lift his hips into yours, making you gasp loudly. your head leaned back as you both rocked your hips, desperately trying to finish yourselves.
“jay,” you cried out again, tightening your hold on your hands to ground yourself like you thought you might fly off somewhere.
“i’m right here, darling,” jaehyun crooned, holding your hands firmly. “i’m not going anywhere.”
you nodded your head, trusting him, giving in to him. 
everything after that was almost a blur. the rapture had you lightheaded, and all you remembered was the heat spitting through your core and your toes curling. 
but jaehyun remembered so much more than that. he could picture the exact look on your face that did it for him, unraveling him, sending him cursing at the stars. the tremble that shuddered through his thighs as his cock twitched. he remembered the way your pussy throttled him as you orgasmed, moaning his name. 
when it was over, you collapsed onto his chest, panting and heaving as if you had ran a marathon together. 
neither of you made a move to shift positions for a long while, jaehyun simply admiring the feeling of your bodies sticking together. “are you okay?”
you weakly nodded your head. that word was an understatement, but you didn’t have the strength in your bones to muster a better one yet. few pleasures came close to the kind you were currently reaping the afterhighs of. 
god, you weren’t stupid enough to throw everything away for some boy you’d just met, but he made you want to. 
jaehyun preciously kissed your neck and shoulders. “go to the bathroom,” he whispered. “i’ll go in after you.”
“okay,” you replied obediently, starting to peel yourself off him, until you had a thought. “are you gonna stay?”
jaehyun’s brows furrowed. “do you want me to stay?”
of course, you did. you had just lost your virginity to him in the best way possible, exposed yourself to him in a way no one else had ever seen, including yourself. not only that, but considering you were a young girl in the middle of essentially nowhere, being around a kindhearted, strong guy made you feel safer.
“please,” you said, wanting to be nowhere else but in his arms for the meantime. 
jaehyun smiled and kissed you again, the corner of your mouth this time. “okay, but i have to leave early in the morning. i can’t slack off forever.”
you did the same, throwing your arms around his neck, before bringing your lips to his neck and whispering, “couldn’t you?”
“you drive me insane, woman,” jaehyun groaned, sensing himself getting riled up again. 
you giggled, finally crawling off him and heading towards the bathroom, but not before demanding, “don’t move.”
jaehyun had no place else that he’d rather be, even if he was in some moderately crappy motel that was understaffed and a playground to creeps. you were there, so it might as well have been like home.
when you returned to the room, jaehyun was still there, only he had disposed of the condom now and he was no longer naked. he went in after you, like he said he would, and came back to also find you redressed.
well, sort of. beyond putting back on your bra and panties, your efforts were a little more nonexistent.
“well, now i feel overdressed,” was the first thing jaehyun said when he came back. 
you burst into giggles. “because you are.”
with that, jaehyun stripped down to his undershirt and boxers and came to join you on the bed, melting into your side. he couldn’t help but steal a few more kisses, completely under your spell now. 
the two of you got comfortable. it was clear that jaehyun had no intention of returning to work tonight and had the motel been busier, you would’ve urged him back to his shift. rose creek would be fine without him for a few hours, maybe longer.
you were more important, and jaehyun seemed to think so too, eager to know you better. “so,” he started. “does your family know you’re in connecticut right now?”
you couldn’t help but laugh. “hell no. as far as they know, i just vanished in the middle of the night. i didn’t tell them i was going to boston, either. i probably should’ve picked somewhere down south, or on the west coast, but i don’t think they’d bother looking.”
jaehyun frowned the more he heard your words, displeased by how much strife it seemed you had with your own blood. “why not? disobedient soul or not, you’re still their flesh.”
try telling them that, please, you thought, but didn’t say. “because i’m the black sheep,” you explained. “i’m the child that didn’t want to be a doctor or a lawyer.”
“what do you want to be?” jaehyun asked, pulling you closer. looking at you as if he genuinely wanted to know.
it surprised you, because rarely did you meet anyone who seemed to have cared. “a vet,” you grumbled, feeling stupid.
“now that’s a surprise,” jaehyun replied, voice dripping with sarcasm. and when you smiled an inch, he felt like he was getting somewhere. “but i think it suits you. you’d be a great vet.”
your cheeks were burning. it was embarrassing and heartwarming at the same time to have your aspirations validated for once. it was too strange for you and you said, “i’m talking about myself too much. what about you? you said this was part-time. do you have a full-time job?”
“to be honest, i haven’t really worked a lot since i graduated. my parents own a lot of property in the state and this is just one of them. the others are better, i promise,” jaehyun said.
for some reason, that made a lot of sense. jaehyun seemed a little too extravagant for this sort of environment. “you know, that clears up a lot questions i had about you. but then, why work here instead of someplace better?”
“in case you haven’t noticed, hardly anyone comes out here.”
you snickered to yourself when you realized the appeal of working here for a guy like jaehyun. fewer crowds, fewer interactions, and more excuses to be sleeping around with pretty girls instead of legitimately working.
“but i do work for certain things. i didn’t have everything handed to me,” jaehyun said to clarify. “i’ve been trying to settle down. i know it doesn’t look like it right now, but i have. and i want to give my future family everything.”
that didn’t surprise you either, but it did garner your attention. “oh?”
jaehyun nodded. “yup. my parents have been begging me to bring a girl home for three, four years now. they said that they know i’ll be married someday, but they’re not as confident that they’ll be around to see it.”
considering that jaehyun did come across as slow and steady, for the most part at least, you laughed, because the only reason they weren’t right to be unconfident was jaehyun’s good looks and charming personality. 
you tossed an arm over him, peering into his eyes. “what’s stopping you?”
jaehyun shrugged. if he had it his way, he would’ve brought someone home forever ago, but he’d found that few things went according to plan in his love life. “haven’t found the one, i guess.”
that was fair. you wanted a family too someday, but never in your life had you met somebody that you would let do more than kiss you, until jaehyun. 
“the thing with love is that it’s trial and error,” jaehyun told you, coming from a place of obvious experience. “so many girls i thought were perfect, until they showed me their true colors. and it hurts to cut them loose, but you have to.”
“i wouldn’t know,” you mumbled. “i’ve never been in love.”
jaehyun’s eyes fell down to your gorgeous hand that was resting above his happy trail and smiled to himself. “you will be, i’m sure. i think love is out there for all of us, patiently waiting.”
you furrowed your brows, like those were the last words you expected to here out of his mouth. “so, you’re one of those.”
the look on jaehyun’s face matched yours. “one of what?”
“a hopeless romantic,” you sighed, but there was a smile on your face. 
jaehyun laughed. “i guess you could say that, but i just tell people that i’m ambitious.”
“well, mister ambitious,” you said, stifling a yawn. “i’m sleepy, and you’ve worn me out for one day. promise to tell me more about yourself tomorrow?”
jaehyun nodded, then leaned in to kiss your cheek. “i promise. i get off early tomorrow, so we’ll have more time together. goodnight, baby.”
“goodnight, jaehyun,” you whispered, snuggling into his chest.
like he couldn’t get enough of you, jaehyun gave you one final kiss on your forehead before he turned off the lamp on the nightstand. he had his arms around you, your back flush against his chest, and you stayed that way until night’s end.
it was some of the best sleep you’d gotten in a long time. being in jaehyun’s arms made you feel comfortable, protected. you weren’t certain why, but it was like no harm could reach you there. you were untouchable and you didn’t have to worry about anything.
when you woke up, you were surprised to still find him there, barely awake himself. “you’re still here?” you asked, unexpectant.
jaehyun grinned at you when you turned to rest your head on his chest and replied groggily, “i thought i’d stay to hear your pretty voice one more time before i left.”
you rolled your eyes at his obvious flirting, but there was a huge beaming smile on your face and you were kissing him affectionately merely seconds later.
one thing lead to another. you swore you didn’t know how it happened. slow, sweet kisses were met by languid, intentional touches, until jaehyun was on top of you, fucking every bit of sleepiness out of your body.
the tiniest moans escaped you as jaehyun rocked his hips into you, slow and gentle, and you clung onto his forearms to anchor yourself back down to earth. he was whispering dirty little nothings in your ear, telling you how good you were to him, unraveling by the minute. 
it just felt too good having him inside you, filling you to the hilt and making your bodies seem inseparable. you loved being tangled together, limb to limb, pleasuring each other like there was no other option. it was the first time you had craved someone so desperately. 
you didn’t want to get out of bed when he was gone. you had all the energy in the world, but you were unfathomably sore. somehow, in a good way. you liked feeling the traces of jaehyun in your bones long after he had slipped away. 
deciding not to rot in bed while you waited for him to return, you got up to take a shower and rinse away the scent of sex from your body. it would be a while, anyway. jaehyun had mentioned something about going back to his place for a minute. 
part of you wanted to feel guilty for keeping him overnight, but you couldn’t. not when you knew that he had enjoyed it as much as you had. you wanted jaehyun, and he wanted you. there were no doubts. 
drying off, you noticed that you had used the last towel and you would need more to cover the last two days of your extended stay here. you got dressed and headed down to the main lobby, requesting some from the guy that had been working the desk since you got there. 
you leaned against the wall while you waited, your thoughts naturally wandering off to jaehyun and his handsome face and stupidly adorable dimples. and maybe his unthinkably talented cock, but only for a second or two. maybe three.
it was strange that he had been the only thing you knew your entire time here, and even then, you barely knew him. under different circumstances, you would have wanted to all there was to know about jaehyun. you would always remember him, even when he was forever gone. 
“those towels you wanted,” said the guy working the desk, snapping you out of your daydream. 
you walked up to the desk, smiling kindly as you accepted them. “thank you. sorry for the inconvenience.”
“it’s fine. have a good day,” he replied, smiling back suspiciously wide. 
you didn’t comment on it, wishing him the same and heading for the door. 
before you could reach it though, you heard his voice again. “by the way, i heard you getting it good when i was making my rounds,” he told you slyly. “how much for the inconvenience?”
dickhead, you thought. your smile dropped and you switched on a dime, shooting him a hefty glare. “i’m not for sale,” you grumbled, storming the fuck out there. 
god, why were the interactions you had with men at this motel getting increasingly weirder? had not jaehyun been keeping you around, you would have been on the next train to boston days ago. 
you were angry as hell at being propositioned for sex by some random stranger, but you tried to let it go. although you would definitely be ranting to jaehyun about it later. speaking of, on the way back to your room, you noticed the door to one a few rooms down was ajar. 
it was frequented by jaehyun, you’d accidentally noticed. sometimes, you would see him come and go, way too often for any customers to be staying there.
you didn’t mean to pry. you had only gone up to check if he had already arrived, but there was no sight of him anywhere. the one thing that was clear was that he spent a hell of a lot of time here.
there weren’t too many things, considering he didn’t live there, but there were a couple of uneaten snacks sitting on the table. and a purple hair tie that you barely paid any mind to. on the nightstand, there was a framed picture of jaehyun with some girl you’d never seen.
it seemed like they were pretty close, all things considered. he had an arm wound tightly around her, and her head was resting on his shoulder. you weren’t jealous, especially considering he looked nearly a decade younger in the picture, and you instead found it cute that he looked so different and not at the same time. 
given the different trends at the time, his hair was in a completely different style. his cheeks were a little rounder. but he still had the same silly, goofy smile. 
realizing what you were doing was definitely a major invasion of privacy, you scurried out of there with your towels and headed back to your room to restock. 
jaehyun came knocking way too many hours later, but the second you heard, you leapt up, swinging the door open and throwing them around his shoulders. “what took you so long?” you asked sullenly. 
jaehyun was pleasantly surprised by the abrupt display of affection, embracing you. “i decided to get everything done so that i could come straight to you, and didn’t have to leave.”
well, that made sense. when you pulled back, you noticed that he wasn’t in his uniform for a change. “this is my first time seeing you in normal person’s clothes. you look different. good different.”
“thanks, beautiful,” he replied, sticking his hands in his pockets. “may i come in?”
you stepped to the side, letting him enter, and shut the door behind him. 
jaehyun seemed amused when he noticed the television was on, showing some anthropology program he had never watched. “did i interrupt?”
it took you a second to realize what he meant, but when you did, you were all giggles. “no, you’re way more important.”
jaehyun was glad to hear that. “by the way, did you have fun sneaking into my room?”
the sudden accusation startled you, but you didn’t deny what you had done. he somehow clearly already knew that you’d nosed around, and you weren’t one to make excuses nor lie. “that was rude. i should’ve asked for your permission. i’m sorry.”
something about your sincerity made jaehyun smile and wave it off. “it’s fine. i don’t have anything to hide.”
either way, you still felt a little guilty. you wanted to ask him who that girl in the picture was, but you decided that you’d done enough snooping.
noticing the shame on your face, jaehyun beckoned you over, commanding, “come here.” and when you promptly did as told, he smoothed his fingers through your hair and reassured, “i told you, it’s fine. forget about it. now, talk to me.”
you melted into jaehyun’s touch, and forgave yourself, forgetting about what you had done, forgetting about all of the awful parts of your day that were no longer relevant now that you were comfortable in jaehyun’s arms.
minutes turned into hours before you were ready for them to, and you almost couldn’t believe how easily you had made a friend out of jaehyun. he was just so easy to talk to, getting you to confess about your less than happy past and chat about your hopes for the future like you were lifelong buddies.
and to your surprise, he made no attempt to try and sleep with you that night. it seemed that jaehyun was fully intent on getting to know you for the young woman that you were.
every now and then, you got the feeling that he was more into you than it was safe for him to be, and more than you could fathom him being so quickly, and knowing that you would be leaving soon, it crushed you. no part of you wanted to see his face when it was time to say goodbye.
but when you woke up the next day, you were smiling. jaehyun had slipped away, something about having errands to run unrelated to work, and you were counting down the seconds until he would come back. 
it was your last full day together.
the thought saddened and excited you all at once, overwhelming you to the core. you had convinced yourself that although jaehyun had made you feel something nobody else ever had, you would move on the second you got a step closer to bringing your dreams to fruition. but until then, you were a little heartbroken.
you had to be real with yourself for a second. could there be a way for a guy almost a decade older than you to be someone you spent the better half of your life with?
you didn’t think so. you and jaehyun led different lives. and while you hoped he would soon find the girl he had long dreamed of, you knew that she wasn’t you. 
who were you to keep him down, when he could be searching for her?
not to mention you weren’t even ready for such large of a commitment. you wanted to complete school and graduate, eight years of your life at least that you would be hard at work, studying your ass off. jaehyun struck you as the marriage and kids kind of boy, none of which you were prepared for.
he’ll be fine. you’re acting like he’s in love with you or something, you told yourself, sitting on your empty bed. there was no way someone as handsome as jaehyun hadn’t had his fair share of short-term flings.
at some point, you quickly became bored of waiting and decided to go on your phone, which you shockingly hadn’t been giving much attention lately. there were some texts from your friends, the only ones you had mentioned connecticut, and you promptly messaged them back. 
there weren’t any notifications from your family, but whether that was only because you blocked them or not, you didn’t know. 
then, you opened google and started to search random questions, as you often did when there was nothing more exhilarating to do. you had a couple of questions about toothbrushes, a word your friend had sent that you had never seen before, and finally, the motel itself.
you didn’t know why you hadn’t googled any information about it sooner. most likely because you didn’t think you would be welcomed for so long, but either way, it should’ve been one of the first things you’d done.
out of weary curiosity, you typed the name of the motel into your search engine, and the first thing you saw was a picture of the front exterior.
the next thing you saw, however, was a little more appalling. there was a news article from a little more than a month ago reporting the death of a girl named alyssa gardner.
rose creek, named in memory of rose bellori who was found there after being tragically murdered thirty-eight years ago, suffers another victims, says local police department. twenty-four year old alyssa gardner was found in the creek three weeks after being reported missing. her last known location prior to her murder was rose creek motel, according to her bank statements.
once you read the first sentence, you couldn’t stop, remembering what that old man had told you about the bodies that turned up in the creek. and as you continued to look into the murder, you froze, reading something about how she had last been wearing a purple hair tie.
there had been a purple hair tie in jaehyun’s room, you remembered, because it was on the table beside the snacks. it could have been a coincidence, but although his hair was long enough, you had never seen jaehyun tie up his hair.
now you had to know. there was a picture of alyssa wearing the tie and it was so specific, there was no way you wouldn’t know if they were the same just by looking. but you had no clue how you would get in there. after your invasion yesterday, there was no way jaehyun would reasonably make the mistake of leaving it open again, even if he claimed to have nothing to hide.
you slipped on your shoes, brainstorming on your way to the room, considering jaehyun wouldn’t have been back for a few hours, according to himself. your first thought was the guy at the front desk, but if he did do you a favor, he would want something in return that wasn’t cheap. nor were you selling.
fortunately, another man started to walk by, an employee, judging by his uniform. “excuse me, sir,” you said, donning your most helpless voice. “is there a way you could help me get in this room? i left my key inside by mistake.”
obviously believing you, the man said, “yeah, of course. i have a general key card right here.”
and just that easily, he opened the door for you. 
“thank you so much,” you told him, expressing your gratitude before closing the door to jaehyun’s room behind yourself. 
you felt bad for lying, but your gut was screaming at you right now and you were tempted to trust her now more than ever. you raced to the table, shoving the snack box out of the way, and gawking in horror when you found what you were looking for.
it was the purple hair tie, and not only was it the exact same color and design as you had seen in the picture, but there were traces of hair on it that didn’t match the dark color on jaehyun’s head.
you backed away, the blood freezing over in your veins. the shock was too cruel, too icy, and there were a billion thoughts racing through your mind. 
but at the forefront of them all, you were thinking, i’ve got to get the fuck out of here.
you stepped out of the room, clearing the hallway before you made a beeline for yours, making a call and shoving your things into your suitcase. you weren’t supposed to be leaving until tomorrow, but you figured it was in your best interest to escape before things had the opportunity to go wrong.
there was no time to think about how your judgment could have been so awful, because all you wanted to do was go far, far away from this place, where you would finally be safe from all the things in this world that wanted to hurt you.
the second your belongings were packed, you checked out at the front desk, noticing that the dude from yesterday was strangely no longer there, replaced by a woman you had never seen before. but you didn’t ask questions, didn’t press.
because the second you were free to go, you were dragging your suitcase to the road and praying that uber would get here before jaehyun could.
until you felt something cold pressing into your back, and every bone in your body went stiff. “leaving without saying goodbye?” asked a familiar voice, coming out of nowhere. 
tears began to sting your eyes, fear making your blood run cold. you couldn’t see him, but your whole body knew who it was. “please.”
“let’s take a walk,” jaehyun said nonchalantly, pointing with the hand that wasn’t discreetly holding a gun to your back.
given the circumstances, there was no way in hell that you wouldn’t do as told. you walked to the right of the motel with your suitcase in tow, far out of sight of any cameras that might’ve been privy to your predicament, willing yourself to breathe lest you fell apart then and there.
it had never been more of a struggle to walk, and it was like you had nearly forgotten how to put one foot in front of the other. your brain was hyper aware of the weapon not even an inch away from you.
through your blurry vision, you could make out a car coming into view. jaehyun asked, “do you have your license?” 
you nodded, afraid to speak. 
“good. this suitcase could’ve been you,” jaehyun said, taking the suitcase out of your hands to throw into the trunk. “you’re driving.”
you swallowed the lump in your throat. it terrified you how indifferent jaehyun seemed, walking you over to the driver’s side of the car and opening the door for you, meanwhile you looked as if you had seen a ghost.
only when he got in on the other side did he hand over the keys, still pointing the gun at you and calmly ordering, “drive. i’ll tell you where to go.”
and that was exactly what he did, telling you directions as you made every turn he told you to, not that there were very many.
every second was spent fighting tears and trying to keep your thoughts from racing. you could’ve never seen something like this coming. you had felt so safe, so secure around jaehyun, and now he was threatening you with a weapon.
god, you didn’t even want to think about what he was going to do to you. would he murder you in cold blood like that girl in the news article?
your first thought was to try and coax your way out of it. as if killers listened to logic and reasoning, outside of their own. “jaehyun, you don’t have to do this. you can let me go.”
jaehyun laughed, although you were dead serious. “so that you can go straight to the police? or worse, leave me here by myself?”
“it doesn’t have to be like that,” you whispered. “i like you a lot, jaehyun.”
“i like you a lot, too. that’s why i have to do this, darling.”
“i don’t understand.”
“i know,” jaehyun replied coolly. “it’ll all make sense soon.”
that statement didn’t make you feel any better. instead, you were enveloped by a deep feeling of cold dread, sensing that the worst had yet to come and you needed to brace yourself for the inevitable.
no more than thirty minutes of driving later, jaehyun told you to pull into the driveway of some house along the creek. you wanted to scream when he pulled you out of the car, but the house you were at was isolated from the rest of the world. nobody would have ever heard you even if the cry came from the very tip of your lungs.
but you noticed that he had left his gun in the car. 
you tried to break out of his grasp, but jaehyun was tremendously stronger than you, and he didn’t seem to like your actions much, hissing, “i don’t want to hurt you, but don’t think i won’t.”
no part of you believed that he didn’t want to hurt you, not even for a second. “let me go. i want to go home!”
“no, you don’t,” jaehyun shot back, tightening his clasp on your bicep. “you want to be anywhere but there. don’t act like i haven’t been doing you a favor.”
“don’t act like you know me,” you snapped, still trying to wrest your way out of his hold. 
jaehyun laughed, but it was mirthless. “honey, i do know you. you told me enough about you. i know what you like, and what you don’t like, and how vicious your parents are to you. i know that you don’t ever want to go back home.”
you didn’t know what was worse between being here right now and being home, and that thought made ache spring into your chest ravishingly. 
“i should’ve known you’d find out sooner than i’d hoped,” jaehyun said. “you’re a smart woman, but that’s one of the many things i love about you.”
tears continued to well your eyes, but they were angry now. “let go of me!”
jaehyun began to become exasperated, dragging you over to the edge of the creek, but you didn’t stop demanding to be freed, flailing and thrashing. 
not until you finally exclaimed, “if you’re going to kill me, then kill me already!”
to your surprise, that made jaehyun root in place for a moment or two. “i think you’re confused.”
you were glaring up at him. “wasn’t that your plan?”
for an unsettling amount of time, jaehyun just stared at you emptily. then, he began to laugh heartily, amused to no end. “now why on earth would i want to do that?” he asked.
you said nothing, startled and baffled altogether.
jaehyun smiled at you. the sight warmed your heart no more than a day ago, but now, you were thoroughly unnerved. “baby, you’re perfect. you’re everything i’ve ever wanted. you may be a little younger than i usually go for, but maybe that’s where i went wrong. with you, it’s not too late to fix the little things. like all this resistance.”
nothing could have prepared you for the sudden change in him, for him to throw you to the ground and submerge your head underneath the water of the creek.
it felt and sounded like the whole world had stopped for a moment before the panic started to settle in cruelly, and you inhaled more water than you had been prepared to. your body desperately missed air, and every time it tried to breathe, only more water entered your mouth. 
when jaehyun yanked you back up by your hair, you spat out a load of water, and began to cough. he asked, “learn your lesson?”
you said nothing. you couldn’t at that point. 
jaehyun took it as defiance and lowered your head back underneath the water again, giving you no time to recover from the previous plunge, and your entire body fought against it, but your efforts were in vain. 
and like before, he pulled you up and asked, “learn your lesson?”
“fuck you,” you spat as belligerently as you could between breaths, even though it hurt to talk. 
jaehyun said nothing, throwing your head back down. 
at this point, your lungs were scorching and your nose was burning. your chest was smoldering with pain and panic and everything in between. helpless, your mind was begging for mercy, but the more you prayed for the water to escape, the more you inhaled.
your muscles were screaming for air and you genuinely thought that you were going to die, that this was the end. you would never know the life you had long dreamed of, the life you had risked everything to have, and the one you had always wanted.
it felt like an eternity had passed when jaehyun brought you back up to the surface and asked you again boredly, “learn your lesson?”
you said nothing, spitting out more bursts of water and gasping for breaths that burned your throat.
jaehyun was about to submerge you again, but at the very last second, you blurted, “okay, okay! i’m sorry. i learned my lesson!”
“good,” jaehyun said, pulling you up and dusting his hands off. “let’s go inside.”
you didn’t dare disobey, letting him lead you inside the house, which you assumed he owned. there wasn’t any time to marvel at the sheer beauty of it before he was tugging you downstairs to the basement where there was already a mattress waiting for you. 
whether that had been prepared for you, or leftovers from the last victim, you didn’t want to know.
jaehyun took one look at your flushed, tear-stained face and softened. he brought a finger to your cheek, but you lurched away from him, like a startled animal in a cage. which, to be fair, wasn’t too far from the truth. 
he frowned. “i wish you didn’t have to be so nosy, baby. i didn’t want you to see me any differently than before.”
it’s too late for that, you huffed to yourself. you fell to the ground beside the mattress, hugging your knees.
jaehyun glanced down at you sighing, debating coming over to join you, but decided against it. for now. “but you don’t have to worry anymore. you’re safe with me. nothing can hurt you as long as i’m here. god, i’ve made sure of it. it angered me to no end when i saw that guy in the lobby flirting with you.”
you immediately remembered what had happened in that lobby, something you had been intent to mention to him but forgot, and the blood drained from your face. “what did you do to him?” you asked. 
“what do you think?”
you shook your head. no wonder there had been another person working the front desk earlier. you hugged your knees tighter and cried, “he was just some jerk, jaehyun. you didn’t need to kill him.”
“yes, i did. i would kill anyone who ever dare dreamed of touching you,” jaehyun insisted darkly.
now that you thought about it even harder, there was no reason for jaehyun to even know that that whole ordeal went down in the first place. he hadn’t been there when it happened. you slowly glanced up, asking, “how did you… know?”
jaehyun chuckled. “because i’ve been watching you, silly. how else?”
no shame, no guilt. he seemed proud of himself, grinning from ear to ear. the sight made you sick, but not as sick as it did to know that he had been essentially spying on you in his free time. you remembered, only a few days ago, asking him if the cameras were really functioning.
your stomach churned. that was why he always seemed to know where you were, to always drop into the places you were. that was how he knew you has been in his room, and how he knew you were fleeing.
even though you felt like vomiting the more information you learned, you needed to know the truth. “why did you kill that girl?”
“which one?” jaehyun asked, which made your heart stop in absolute terror. “if you’re talking about alyssa, i found out she was addicted to drugs. god, everything was going so smoothly until all of that.”
if you could’ve convinced yourself that you were only in a nightmare, you would have, but the pain in your chest and throat was too aggressive. “i bet you killed that girl in the picture too,” you replied hoarsely.
jaehyun’s eyes darkened, but it was less anger and more of a morose kind of emotion. “no, that’s not true. she died in a car accident.”
given the pain tensing his features, you believed him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to have any sympathy.
jaehyun continued, “we were eighteen and we had just graduated. she was the girl everyone wanted me to be with, and the one i thought would always be with. then one day, she was just gone. i’ll never forget getting that phone call in the middle of the night.”
the words he used made you remember something. you had asked him what his first time was like, and jaehyun had told you something along the lines of it being with someone he thought he would spend forever with.
that was her, the girl he had loved and lost. 
“i’m sorry you went through that,” you whispered, feeling as though you were obligated to console him in some way. 
“i am, too,” jaehyun mumbled. “but life goes on. and i found you. god, you don’t know how many times i had to go through this to find you, but it’s over now. you remind me of her a lot.”
you froze in your own skin, suddenly having an epiphany. you didn’t understand before, why jaehyun was doing all this, but it was all coming together now.
life may have moved on, but jaehyun had not. instead of getting over the girl he had lost so many years ago, he was trying to recreate her, to get her back in some sick, twisted way. you would be the vessel needed to resuscitate her, and the girls before you were the other candidates that didn’t meet the mark. 
he had told you that. not outright, but it was what he’d meant, and the confession went right over your head. so many girls i thought were perfect, until they showed me their true colors. and it hurts to cut them loose, but you have to.
jaehyun wasn’t killing girls out of some sadistic hatred. matter of fact, he didn’t even want to kill them, but he felt obligated to eliminate the unworthy. he was killing because they ultimately didn’t meet his standards.
which implied that someway, somehow, you did. as he put it, you were everything he’d ever wanted. 
“why me?” you asked, rubbing your eyes clear of tears.
jaehyun at last approached you, and although you wanted to back away and hide, there was nowhere for you to go. “easy. from what you’ve told me, you’re the black sheep of your family. you didn’t even tell them where you were going. nobody is going to look for you. nobody will miss you. you’re perfect.”
those words were crueler than he intended for them to be, but jaehyun wanted to be truthful with you, because that was the key to a long-lasting relationship. he wouldn’t hide from you, and he wouldn’t allow you to hide from him. you would be perfectly honest with each other.
“we’re going to have kids together someday,” jaehyun rambled, holding your cheeks in his hands gingerly, almost with affection. “i’m going to take you to meet my parents, and they’re going to love you, because i love you. and we’re going to stay in this house.”
you glanced around. “here?”
jaehyun sported a beaming smile. “it’s perfect, isn’t it? you love nature, and we’ll live right here along the creek. it’ll be just like how you grew up, except you’ll be accepted here.”
perfect, you repeated in your head bitterly. jaehyun seemed to be as obsessed with that word as he was with you. he couldn’t stop saying it, and that revealed even more about his intentions the more he used it.
noticing the tension in your face, jaehyun squeezed your hand and tried to console you. “don’t worry, i’m not going to keep you from your dreams. but you’re going to stay in this basement until you understand that you belong to me, and i belong to you.”
“i’m not your fucking property,” you hissed with unadulterated vitriol.
obviously, jaehyun was growing exhausted of having to put up with your less than meek behavior, and before you could apologize, he hauled you up and tossed you onto the bed. you made a tiny, broken noise when he began to squeeze your throat instead. “i will whip you into shape if i have to,” jaehyun growled. “i will fuck you into shape, everyday, if that’s what it takes, dear. i already made up my mind. you’re mine and i won’t let anyone else have you.”
your throat still ached from the pain of nearly drowning three times over, sorely pleading for quiet remorse, but jaehyun was nothing short of committed. he would stop at nothing to bend you into submission, no matter the price needed, because when he wanted something enough, there was nobody that could tell him that it wasn’t his for the reaping.
not his parents, not you, not anyone.
true to his word, jaehyun began to force one his hands underneath your pleaded skirt. he liked that you wore them, initially because he found them strangely cute on you, but now because of the easy access he had to everything he wanted.
you thrashed again enervatedly, sore from head to toe, but you told yourself endlessly that you weren’t a quitter. you couldn’t let him break you, not until he had broken all the fight out of you first. it would go against everything you stood for, everything you believed.
“behave,” jaehyun said. “behave, or you’ll only make it worse on yourself.”
you roared expletives into his palm that jaehyun couldn’t understand, nor did he bother to. not after he had caught a glimpse of your precious cunt and he had already begun to imagine making sweet love to you. the lingering picture was all he could think of.
how you had gripped his biceps, brows tensing together, calling out his name and his name only. jaehyun knew you reciprocated his pining. he had seen the proof, felt it dripping and pulsing around his cock, milking his release out of him even quicker than he had hoped.
and really, honestly, jaehyun didn’t want to hurt you or cause you any needless pain. one day, you would understand that he was only doing this from of a place of love and endearment. you gasped for breath when the hand on your throat finally slackened, sucking in the sharpest one you had ever inhaled, and could feel the basement reeling.
while you were busy blinking the misty daze out of your eyes, jaehyun ran a hand between your legs, touching your clit. “jaehyun, stop,” you rasped. 
“shh, let me make you feel good,” jaehyun crooned softly in your ear. 
it was maddening that your body still reacted fondly to his deep voice and tender touches, and you hated every second of it. you resisted him, pressing your thighs together, but it took little to nothing for jaehyun to spread them apart again, and your body naturally liked his strength, too. 
still, you tried to swat his hand away. now that you knew the truth of who he was really was, what he really was, you couldn’t stand to let a monster like jaehyun to touch you. 
jaehyun sighed irritably, and the look on his face made you shudder. “you’re just going to keep being a bitch about it, aren’t you?”
he only wanted to pleasure you, for fuck’s sake. why wouldn’t you let him?
“i don’t want this,” you whimpered, peering up at jaehyun as you welled up with tears. 
“yes, you do,” jaehyun told you, as if he was trying to convince you of something you already knew wasn’t true. “you do want it. remember?”
you shook your head, defiant. “that was before. it’s different now.”
“nothing has changed between us.” 
“everything has changed!” you cried out, bursting into sobs. “you’re not who i thought you were. you… hurt me.”
“i didn’t want to. i promise that i didn’t, honey,” jaehyun whispered, pressing his lips to your forehead. “and the sooner you listen to me, the sooner i can make you feel better.”
he started to do exactly that, returning between your legs, this time sticking his face beneath your skirt. jaehyun went to town, pulling out all the stops that he remembered had you singing his praises. 
not a moment later, you slumped in defeat, too weak from your unwanted orgasm to deny him any longer. jaehyun smirked when he noticed you twitching from the aftershocks, licking his wet lips that had gotten soaked with your arousal.
“that’s it, baby,” jaehyun said, proud of himself. he liked worshiping you, and even if you didn’t want to admit it, he knew he brought you to elysian heights. “ready to take my cock?”
you shook your head wearily, but jaehyun didn’t believe you. only the day before yesterday, you had been so eager.
“come on, don’t be that way. you know you love this dick,” jaehyun said. he had never looked more sure of himself, not hesitating to step out of his clothes.
although you wanted nothing more than to defy him, to spring up and make a beeline for the nearest door, you couldn’t bring yourself to. there wasn’t even time for you to tell him to stop before jaehyun was spreading you open, prodding your entrance with the head of his cock.
and you were so wet that in spite of his size, he slipped inside with ease.
jaehyun grunted at the first push of his cock inside you, slowly coaxing his way deeper. he slipped his fingers through yours, knowing that you liked to use his hand to anchor yourself because you quickly got overwhelmed by his size.
but he noticed that each time you were taking him even better, and jaehyun liked the thought of successfully breaking you in. to him, it was the perfect fit. it was a sign that you were made for him to fuck and breed. your vice-like walls were gushing around him, kneading him, swallowing him whole. only him.
“that’s good, baby. don’t run from it,” jaehyun crooned in your ears before sealing your lips together.
jaehyun didn’t notice that you weren’t kissing him back. when his eyes were closed and he was buried some inches deep inside your pussy, it became easier to convince himself anything. because you may have denied him, but jaehyun thought the body never lied, and yours was calling out to him. 
the weight of your body rocked in tandem with his thrusts and jaehyun, wanting a better view of you, started to tug your shirt off. he already knew how to make you weak for him, sucking at your breasts.
every cry of protest you made fell on deaf ears, because all jaehyun heard was that familiar breathlessness in your voice when he was making you feel good. 
and that was more than enough to jaehyun. because if he had you, and you had him, nothing else mattered. why would you need some other guy in some faraway place when he had made you feel things you never knew you were even capable of?
he never even thought about how of those feelings he had plucked out of you, something could’ve completely overpowered anything pleasant feelings you ever had.
it surprised you when jaehyun grinded to a halt and pulled out of you, but you should’ve known better than to think he was finished. “get on top of me,” jaehyun told you, overcome by memories. “i want you to ride me. like how you rode me that day.”
jaehyun had this dazed look in his eyes that made him look more dangerous and unhinged than he ever had, and that was the sole reason you were so quick to scramble on top of him, but jaehyun smiled, because he only saw it as unadulterated desire.
you grabbed his shoulders as you forced yourself to mount him, his hands slipping down to your backside, supporting you with his palms. it hadn’t been too long since they were someplace you could feel secure for the first time in a long while. and now that comfort was gone, and you had nowhere else to go, nothing else to turn to but yourself.
maybe you had been naive to think that someone could genuinely, truthfully like you. whatever jaehyun felt for you, or at least thought that he did, was purebred obsession and without it there would be nothing left. 
it was the one thing keeping you breathing, and yet the one thing killing you slowly.
something wet dripped onto the pillar of jaehyun’s shoulder and he saw that you were sobbing. tears of pleasure, he told himself. he remembered the wet glaze in your stare when the two of you had fucked the other day, too. nothing as theatrical as this, though he was certain it didn’t make a difference. 
but jaehyun wasn’t afraid to hurt you, that much was clear. he may not have particularly liked it anymore than you did, but he would use it to justify everything. it’s okay if it hurts, because love hurts, he would console himself, telling himself that you would be okay.
“one day you’ll understand that i’m doing this because i want what’s best for us,” jaehyun whispered, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “i’ll make you happy every day until you die. anything you could ever want, i’ll make it happen, i promise.”
the way he spoke, you knew that he believed it in his very bones, and that only made it scarier. someway, somehow, jaehyun had convinced himself that you were god walking, and now you weren’t sure what lengths he wouldn’t go to for your sake. 
tenderly kissing your jaw, jaehyun continued, “i love you.”
you shook your head, knowing that it wasn’t true. “you can’t love me, jaehyun. it’s only been five days.”
jaehyun disagreed. he thought he had loved you from the second he laid eyes on you, a beautiful girl ambling along the creek line. he could smell your sweet scent on him and it made him remember catching you in his arms, pulling you close, and breathing you in for the first time. “i loved you long before i met you. you may not feel it right now, but you will soon. i’ll make sure of it.”
you exhaled a breath. there was no arguing with a mad man.
“i’ll make sure you’ll never want to live without me again,” jaehyun whispered, like it was the most normal thing in the world. “that you can’t live without me.”
all you wanted was to get away from him. you were wishing you would’ve never came here, never gave him or this godforsaken place the time of day.
jaehyun was nearing the threshold of what he could take and it was plain on his face. you weren’t fucking yourself on him with the same amount of fervor as you had in the none too distant past, but he was too close to the edge to complain, driving his hips upwards into yours.
he was no longer listening to the pleas falling from between your lips, imagining that you were begging for him never to stop, never to let go of you. because he knew that deep down, that was what you wanted. you would get over these temporary, tiny frustrations. the same way he had gotten over them over and over.
did you think it was all fun and games for him? if you knew how many times he had been crushed and disappointed, how many times he had to let of something he wanted more than anything, you would finally understand that there nobody who understood you more than jaehyun.
in a way, you were completing each other. he would give you the family you needed, and you would give him the relationship he always wanted.
“jaehyun, you have to pull out,” you said to him, remembering he had gone in without a condom. “you have to…”
“shh,” jaehyun shushed you, pressing your back to the mattress again, and seizing control.
when you tried to speak, jaehyun just clamped his hand over your mouth to keep you silent and pliant, wanting to hear none of it. “didn’t i tell you? we’re going to build a family together, right here in this house.”
there was total, chaotic horror in your eyes. you hadn’t thought he meant so soon, so quickly. you were barely an adult and still sometimes felt like a child yourself, and you tried to tell him as much, but every word bled together and died on his palm.
with a few more unrelenting smacks of his hips into yours, jaehyun leaned over and clamped his teeth into your shoulder as he came. and when he stilled, he kissed you, ignoring the taste of tears that had ran onto your lips.
“it’ll always be you and me now,” he panted, breathless. “you can’t leave me. you can’t.”
you lay there, helpless and hopeless, feeling something like bile scorching up your throat as you stared at him in disbelief.
“i’ll fuck you every day, i will,” jaehyun said with every bit of conviction. “if it means that one of those days, i put a baby in you.”
there was nothing that you could say that your face wasn’t already saying for you. never in your life had you felt more used and violated, and that said a lot. 
and jaehyun didn’t seem to be bothered. he lay down beside your shaking body, tightening his arms around you, loving the way the layers of sweat made you stick to each other, and made you a dirty promise. “don’t worry, i’ll take care of you both,” he said. “i swear.”
you closed your eyes, screaming inside your head, but having none of the strength to really do it. he had stolen it from you, stolen everything from you. your body wasn’t your own anymore.
“say it,” jaehyun prompted, nibbling gently at your neck. “say you love me.”
you didn’t, and there wasn’t a single bone in your body that did, but jaehyun terrified you now. this would haunt you more than the gun pressed to your back, or the throwing your head underwater. compared to now, those things seemed mild.
so you sucked in a breath, trying to will yourself to stay still even though there was no possible way with how close he was to you, and you lied, “i love you.”
jaehyun grinned from ear to ear. “i know.”
1K notes · View notes
iamasaddie · 11 days
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tired
paring: Joel Miller x f!reader rating: explicit warnings: explicit sexual content, unspecified age gap, reader has hair that you can run your fingers through, no use of Y/N, UNEDITED a/n: fully inspired by this post @bonezone44 dared to put out so i thank them for basically punching me out of the no-writing period of my life <3 and also thank you to people who've been tagging me in multiple wip challenges and fic games, especially @milla-frenchy and @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog <3 you reminded me that i was indeed an author a million years ago word count: 2.6k masterlist
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Joel was tired. His back was hurting from helping Tommy fix up his roof, his knees were aching from climbing up and down that goddamn ladder that he could swore was ready to break at any second. He couldn’t remember the last time he had a night where he could just relax. Throw his body somewhere in his house and have someone take care of it. 
Now that Ellie was building her adult life with Dina, their place - his place - now felt like just a roof over his head, all the homeyness gone with the girl that almost single-handedly owned his sharp and rusty heart.  
Joel squeezed his eyes shut, dry fingertips running over the lids. He did not want to go home and fall asleep on the couch, cursing everything the world stands on the next morning when he needs to fight the tears of pain with every back spasm he gets. No, he needed someone to take care of him, to give him something good, god knows he’s given these people more than enough over these past years. But, Joel sighed to himself, scrunching his nose as his eyes fell on the dirty knees of his jeans, he was not in shape of wining and dining women tonight. 
That’s what you need casual connections for, old idiot, he chuckled to himself, remembering a few times he had to spell it out for some ladies that he wasn’t interested.
You practically jumped on a stool next to him while he was still considering his options.
“Hey, Joel, long night?” 
Of course you’d be the first to ask about his day. Little miss sunshine. Well, at least that’s what he thought at first, before seeing you mercilessly killing a couple of infected villagers that weren’t careful enough on the patrol. Still, you were as syrupy sweet as honey on a fresh batch of pancakes when it came to him. The only one who didn’t cringe when he said his firm “no, thanks”. The only one who didn’t actually take his no for an answer.
You never actually threw yourself at him, but Joel learned what desire looks like and you were too young to learn how to mask it properly. 
“Hey, kid.” He nodded, he knew how much you hated the nickname because it put even a bigger barrier between the two of you.
“Told you not to call me that, I’m only—“
“Twenty something years younger than me? Yeah.”
He saw your lips hiding in a thin line, your unbreakable spirit was too fragile when it came to him. Joel must’ve gone soft, or insane, because he nudged your shoulder with his, making you lift your head up and look him in the eyes.
“Tommy’s roof’s been a pain in the ass to fix. It’d be easier to burn that place down and build a new one, but my brother is as stubborn as them mules he’s been dreaming to have.”
You huffed a laugh, palm squeezing the slippery glass that was now empty a little too hard. “You know,” you started, shyness verging with hope that you tried to sheath with a nonchalant tone. Joel knew. And for the first time in years he actually contemplated, nodding to you to continue. “I could help you relax, I sometimes give massages in the hospital. It can really help with back pain.”
He purposefully kept silent, looking you in the eyes and trying to make you go back on your proposal. But as he knew already, you were no less stubborn than his little brother. It was karma or something that the only people that were semi-constant in his life were the ones who’d rather kiss an infected than give up. 
Joel wasn’t exactly tortured with his conscience, he didn’t seduce you, and most of the old world morals have died already, so the age gap the size of an adult child didn’t bother him either. He was almost glad you tried again, he just needs to make sure you know it’s not something it isn’t. 
“Yeah, my back’s been hurtin’ pretty bad today.” He finished his drink not tearing his eyes off you, and then he slowly let them trace your lips, the naked expanse of your neck that you showed off by unbuttoning a couple of buttons on your shirt. He looked lower, noticing your breasts rise and fall faster under his unmasked gaze. 
“Wanna go now?” Your voice was breathless like you’d just ran a marathon. He wondered how you’d sound later tonight. 
“Sure, darlin’. Lead the way.”
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You never said anything when Joel strode past the hospital shack, not even slowing his pace. He was saying something about the roof again but it was hard to understand through the blood pumping jungle beats in your ears. 
You kept nodding and humming in agreement, though you couldn’t quite process the words. As you followed him, the anticipation gnawed at you, every step closer tightening the knot in your stomach. You knew he was taking you home, well, he was taking you to his house, and you went too slow for the amount of times that you dreamed to step over his doorstep. Joel's house was small and dimly lit, for some reason it was exactly how you imagined it: homey in spite of the circumstances. Joel took off his jacket silently, the faint smell of cedar and something musky filled the air, mingling with his earthy scent. He turned to face you, those piercing eyes locking onto yours.
“You gonna give me a massage wearing this?” He pointed at the warm coat you put on in a hurry as you were leaving the bar. Your fingers stumbled over each other as you tried to open the buttons of the damn thing. You felt a flush of warmth rise to your cheeks under his scrutiny.
Your fingers touched as you gave him your coat, but there was no electricity, his fingers were rough and scratched your skin, your palm became sweaty and you hurried to wipe it on your jeans when he didn’t look.
“Let’s go, bedroom’s upstairs,” his voice was low and calm, somehow its vibrations helped you settle, grounded you. You gave him a quick smile and followed his broad figure. Every stair squeaked under his heavy footsteps, you looked like a mouse that was chasing a bear. Willingly. The bedroom door creaked open to reveal a space just as humble as the rest of the house. A couple of drawings in handmade frames, a chair with a pair of pants on it, and the bed. Your eyes were glued to it. The bed and its tangled sheets seemed inviting, though a wave of nerves prickled your spine. ‘You’re here to give him a massage, don’t get ahead of yourself’ you thought, teeth sinking in your lower lip. You weren’t too young or naive to think that a massage was all this night would end with, but such a quick change of heart in Joel made you doubt your every breath. 
When you brought your eyes back to the man you saw him studying you, you could swear a nervous tick clenched his jaw but you didn’t let yourself ponder on it.
“I’m gonna rip the bandaid off and say it as it is, okay, pretty girl?”
Your breath hitched. Joel stepped closer, his eyes steadily holding yours. You nodded, not trusting your voice. His gaze was intense, making your heart hammer loudly enough to be heard.
"Massage ain’t exactly the thing I took ya here for,” Joel admitted, eyes dark, voice raw with honesty. “If you catch my drift.”
“I…” You cleared your throat, you wanted to look confident, or at least not scared. You’ve wanted to get into this man’s bed for months now, imagined how and when and what, and now that it happens you can barely squeeze out a, “yeah, of course I do.”
Joel smiled, one of his hands flying to cup your jaw as he brought his lips closer to yours and you closed your eyes in anticipation of his soft skin on yours. “Good girl,” the remnants of his wet breath stained your lips.
As quickly as he came at you, he left. His pace was languid when he worked on taking off his jeans, leaving himself in a ridiculous attire of a flannel shirt, a t-shirt underneath and simple cotton boxers.
You bit your lip, suppressing a giggle at the sight. His eyes snagged on your smile, sharpening with mischief. Joel raised an eyebrow, catching your amusement. “What’s so funny, darlin’?”
“Nothing,” your cheeks felt extra hot and you were glad for the poor lighting in the bedroom. “Lay on your back, please. As I said before, I’d like to help you relax.”
Joel held your gaze for a hot minute, but then silently followed your order. “I’d maybe argue any other day, but not now, sweetheart. Today I’ll take all the care I can get,” he smiled, but you missed the warm gesture. He laid back, his head hitting the pillow, long curls that he had left to grow splayed around the back of his head. You were too focused, letting your hands wander over his chest, feeling the texture of his shirt and the years of safer life that he was hiding underneath had grown out brushing against the fabric. You moved your fingers lightly over his chest, watching his eyes flutter closed.
His hands blindly found yours, hardened blisters of his palms scraped your soft skin, and he pushed your hands lower, somewhere you didn’t dare look for too long.
“Don’t be shy, babygirl,” he muttered with his eyes still closed. You let him guide you. You could feel the tension in his muscles, the rigidity slowly melting away under your touch. 
You remembered him talking about ripping a bandage off, so you followed his philosophy, hooking your fingers under the elastic of his boxers and tugging the material down. As the cool air grazed his skin, he released a slow, shuddering breath. It felt like something forced you to lift your head up, you met his gaze and saw a flicker of softness and gratefulness in his eyes.
“This okay?” You whispered, hands already exploring the places your eyes were too shy to inspect.
“More than,” Joel’s voice was calm, breathing barely indicating the intimate setting you were in. His eyes fell shut again and a part of you thought that was only to give you more freedom, save you from his scrutiny. You noticed the slight hitch in his breath with each new touch, his body responding to your feathery strokes.
When your fingertips grazed the hot skin covered in coarse hair you couldn’t help but look. Even in half darkness it was easy to see that Joel was well-endowed and eager. His cock laid on the pillow of his pubic hair, the shaft slightly curved. Pink tip was glistening with precum and you wondered if you got him excited or the promise of future pleasure. Your left hand was resting on his hip when as if hypnotized you traced your index finger from his tip to where his base was covered in sparse graying curls.
Joel’s cock jumped to attention, twitching under your light touch, prompting you to close your fist around it which you immediately did. With the first tug on the velvety soft skin both of you released a moan.
“Spit on it, baby, make it wet,” Joel’s voice was relaxed, as if you put your hand on a muscle that was aching for days and relieved the pain.
Your short nails dug into his hip when you started contemplating how to do it. You weren’t completely innocent, far from it, but somehow you could count on the fingers of one hand the amount of times you needed to spit during sex. Deciding against spitting in your own palm, you took a different position, scooting lower down the bed and hunching over Joel’s waiting cock. The moment the smell of his skin and sweat hit your nose it was like you were intoxicated. Your lips closed around his flushed tip, tongue diving to get more of his taste. Both of your hands settled on his hips, either to hold him down or find balance. You abandoned the idea of spitting, the thought of not having his cock in your mouth almost pained you. It was like this was the grand finale of your romantic labor. Here, on your knees between the legs of a man who was holding you at arm's length for the longest time. It shouldn’t have felt so good, but it did. Taking care of him, even in this basic, primal way, felt like taking care of yourself.
Your wet mouth slid further down, the thick shaft of Joel’s cock stretching your lips. It took you a moment to realize Joel’s hands were in your hair. For a moment you thought he wanted you to stop, you even started to lift off, but the firm pressure of his hand on your head made it clear that he wasn’t against this turn of events. You let yourself build up to a comfortable taste, exploring each centimeter of his skin in your mouth, the way a couple of veins bulged under your tongue, the ridge of the head pushing further in your throat. You didn’t hurry and neither did he. You savored the slow rhythm of push and pull, letting him go deeper with every thrust.
One of his hands left your head and you raised your eyes to Joel’s face, mouth still very occupied with his cock. He must have felt it, because he barely lifted his head off the pillow, stray curls sticking to his sweaty forehead and you could swear you saw him wink at you before he laid his head back, using the freed hand to tuck away long strands of hair behind his ear.
The picture of this man, always so rough and guarded, finally relaxing under your touch and shedding the years of hostility made you drunker than any booze Tommy could’ve offered. Your movements became faster, saliva dripping down his cock and making it glisten. You felt Joel’s hips tense under your palms and you didn’t even need to hear the shameless moans drowned by your excitement and the sloppy wet sounds to know he was close.
“Doin’ good for me, baby, doin’ real good,” he groaned as you felt the tip of his cock punch the back of your throat repeatedly. Your eyes watered, but you admitted to yourself that you would rather suffocate and die than let the cock of this man out of your mouth. Your jaw was aching, the pleasurable pain that said how good of a job you did. 
The shaft under your tongue felt even harder, a loaded gun pressing on your tongue and you couldn’t wait for it to shoot.
Both of Joel’s hands returned to your head pressing you into his skin so hard that little hairs tickled your nose and your vision started to go blurry.
His load was salty and thick, you felt it slide down your throat like lava, burning you from the inside. Barely catching your breath you sat straight, watching closely how Joel’s chest rose and fell following his erratic breathing. There was an indecent amount of wetness gathered in the gusset of your panties and by the look on Joel’s face you knew you’d have to handle it yourself.
“Feeling good?” Your voice sounded weird, hoarse and raspy in the gritty silence of the room.
“You’re really good at massage, darlin’, I’m more relaxed than the day I was born,” Joel held his gaze on you, using his shoulder to scratch the underside of his jaw. You took it as your key to leave, after all, you never agreed to anything more.
Joel’s voice stopped you with one foot over the doorstep.
“Maybe I could return the favor some time.”
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shlonguru · 4 months
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Lucifer x Fem!Reader - White Party in the Lust Ring
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Pairing : Lucifer Morningstar x Fem!Reader (Alastor's sister)
Summary : Being Alastor's little sister can have its perks, but if you're fighting with him it can push you close to certain unexpected people.
Warning : 18+, Smut, oral, creampie, teasing, overstimulation, cunnilingus, daddy issues, daddy kink (shocker), edging, praise kink.
Word count : 5029 words (oml it keeps getting worse)
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My hyperfixation on Lucifer is far from over (help) but I have received some requests that all contributed to this smut so I'm sorry that I couldn't reply to one specific request but I would like to thank you all. I hope you all enjoy~ Once again I want to thank @wipmoop for their amazing artwork for the cover! If you wanna check out the uncensored version of the cover, it'll be up on their page soon, they're genuinely awesome, check them out with love ♥ Shlonguru out! o/
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~ At the Hazbin Hotel ~
Life was hard being Alastor’s little sister. He might have been very good at protecting you but he made sure your freedom was limited in return. In fact, you weren’t even sure if he protected you because he cared about you or because he was territorial. And he was hard to bargain with. You were living with him amongst others at the Hazbin Hotel and were more than bored during your days until you were offered a job working as Lucifer’s assistant. The only reason Alastor didn’t make a fuss about you working there, despite him absolutely hating Lucifer’s guts, was because Lucifer was powerful enough to make sure you were safe at all times.
This morning, you had just been in a fight. Some of your friends had invited you to a fun night out and Alastor had noticed you packing more than usual on your way to Lucifer’s. He had noticed as he walked by your room.
“Aren’t you packing a little heavy today?” He inquired.
You rolled your eyes already knowing what was coming.
“Yeah, my friends are going out in the Lust Ring tonight, so I packed another outfit and other stuff so I can change before I join them.” You replied.
“The Lust Ring? I don’t think so, dear. Do you want to end up like Angel Dust, with an Overlord owning your soul?” He calmly replied.
“Yeah, you’re right! Which is why I have the perfect solution for that, how about I don’t sell my soul to anyone? That should do it I think.” You stated snarkily, zipping up your bag.
“I’ve already explained to you that it isn’t that simple and that you have more value to the eyes of most people in hell than you seem to realize.” He countered, slightly losing his cool.
“Listen, I’m a fully grown adult, I know how to take care of myself.” You calmly tried to explain.
“You might be a grown adult, but you are not nearly as strong as you would need to be to take care of yourself.” He raised an eyebrow, knowing he had made a good point.
“Huh… So, what do you want me to do exactly? Rot here for the rest of eternity? No, I’m going out.” You started making your way out of the hotel when he snapped his fingers, making your bag teleport next to him.
You angrily walked back and grabbed it again.
“Stop that, will you? I said I’m going out!” You walked away only for him to snap his fingers again, repeating the same process.
You turned around red of anger. “You’re gonna make me late to work!” You shouted.
“You’re lucky I let you work for this minikin at all.” He replied defiantly.
“Fuck you!” You yelled, flipping him the finger and leaving, slamming the hotel’s door behind you and choosing to abandon your bag.
~ At Lucifer’s Tower ~
You got along with your boss really well, you both were very cheerful beings and your personalities just clicked, he had offered you the job of assistant because he was “having a hard time handling all of his important business”. You knew by now that he was actually just working on his ducks so much that he was never able to handle the rest of his business on time. He had also offered you the job when he saw how bored you were at the hotel, that and your common trait of fighting with Alastor almost every time you were in the same room. You enjoyed working for him and he was very grateful to have you.
You arrived at Lucifer’s tower a little late, but it wasn’t unusual for you. Lucifer was busy designing a new duck in his office when he heard you arrive and came to greet you.
“Hello y/n!” How are we doing in this fine morning?” He smiled, always happy to see you.
“Hello Sir, I’m ok.” You replied in an irritated tone, the difference with your usual cheerful self, alarming Lucifer.
“What’s up? You seem like, super down.” He questioned.
“Yeah, I got into a fight with Al.” You replied coldly, removing your coat and hanging it.
“Oh, that bastard, it’s like he can’t start his day if he hasn’t ruined someone else’s.” He rolled his eyes at the mention of Alastor.
“Right? That asshole...” You let out.
“What did he do this time?” He crossed his arms, resting his shoulder against the wall near you.
“My friends are going out tonight in the Lust Ring and they invited me, but he won’t let me go cause he’s afraid I’m gonna end up in danger. Fuck, I can’t do anything. Hell is literally filled with bad people, I can’t just stay locked up forever.” You whined.
“Wait, you frequent the Lust Ring?” He asked curiously. You looked at him and noticed a hint of red on his face.
“I would like to! But he won’t let me!” You moaned. “Why? Is that surprising?” You added.
“No…” He looked away, clearly embarrassed. “I guess I had never seen you under that light before.” He smiled. “But you are a bad bitch, so it’s not too surprising.” He finished.
Lucifer paused, looking away, kind of hesitant.
“What if I accompanied you? That way, he couldn’t say he’s afraid you’d end up in danger, you’d be with the strongest being of Hell~” He offered in a self-assured tone.   
“Really? You’d do that?” Your eyes sparkled at the offer.
“Sure! it’s been a while since I came by and said hi to Ozzie anyways.” He chuckled.
You paused for a second and remembered you had left without your bag.
“I left all of my clothes and stuff at the hotel though.” You sighed.
“I’ll get someone to go get your stuff for you, how does that sound?” He smiled.
“You’re the best!” You cheered excitedly hugging him. He smiled and hugged you back.
“Is there a theme to this party?” He asked.
“It’s a white party.” You smiled.
“Not very surprising of the Lust Ring if you ask me.” He stated.
You nodded and proceeded with your day, your mood back its usual merry self.
By the end of the day, you had gotten your bag back and had gotten ready at Lucifer’s place.
He was waiting in his living room for you to finish getting ready in the guest room. The blonde demon was wearing an all-white suit made perfectly for him.
He saw you come out of the room and looked like he had stopped breathing.
You were wearing a white dress that was perfectly balanced between cute and sexy, the contrast with your crimson mane was sumptuous. You had done your make-up for the party, a black smokey, making your usually ethereal ruby eyes look fierce.
“You like it?” You smiled, showing off your outfit.
“Oh damn…” He wiped his forehead, looking warm as he ventilated himself with his hand as he stood up. “You’re hot!” He blurted, catching himself and putting his hand over his mouth. “I mean, not that you usually aren’t, trust me I love your work outfits, you look very preppy it’s great, but you look, I mean, sexy!” He looked embarrassed at how surprised he was.
“Thank you?” You questioned. “Indeed, I wouldn’t wear that to work.” You chuckled. “It wouldn’t be very convenient don’t you think?” You teased, walking up to him. You were close in height, but you still won by a few inches.
“Right! Oh lord land me strength…” He muttered to himself.
“What was that?” You asked.
“Nothing! Let’s go!” He handed you his arm and you left together for the party.
~ At the White Party ~
You arrived at the party, it was huge, everything was screaming lust, and the whole venue was gorgeous. As you walked in, Lucifer spotted Asmodeus, with whom he had fun reconnecting with Asmodeus and even introduced the two of you.
“And this is y/n!” He introduced you after chatting for a while.
“Oh, is this your girl?” Ozzie asked boldly.
You unintentionally blushed and smiled to hide it.
“No…” He replied much more flushed than you. “She’s my assistant.” He added.
“You mean your assistant in bed, right? Cause you two got that chemistry if you know what I mean, it’s like, hard not to notice.” Ozzie continued, noticing how awkward you had both become, making him smirk.
“Stop it Ozzie! I told you it’s not like that.” Added Lucifer seriously before turning to you awkwardly. “Sorry about that y/n.”
“Yeah okay, Luci, then welcome to the Lust Ring to you and your totally-just-platonic-friend then.” He smiled mischievously before leading you to your VIP zone with your group of friends.
You and your friends enjoyed the party, and so did Lucifer. You danced with him, drank with him, in fact, you were all feeling tipsy and at this point acted much more casual with him than you thought possible, though he still made sure you didn’t go overboard. In fact, he had had way more than you but looked completely unaffected, however. You had noticed you two were getting closer and closer as the night went on. You enjoyed grinding against him and he enjoyed it just as much, as well as showing off his own dance moves. And after a few hours, you both sat down at your booth.
“Wow Luci! Thank you so much for tonight you sure know how to party!” You thanked him.
“Thanks! It’s been a while, but it seems like you don’t forget good habits.” He smiled.
“I can’t believe my dickhead of a brother would keep me from experiencing all of this.”
“I mean he sure is a dickhead, don’t get me wrong, but I think it’s fair that he doesn’t want anything bad happening to you.” He replied calmly.
“Well, I guess it depends on what you consider a bad thing?” You smiled teasingly at him.
“What do you mean?” He asked tilting his head slightly.
“Let’s just say I’m sure there are things he wouldn’t want happening to me that I wouldn’t consider bad in the slightest.” You looked at Lucifer intently getting a little closer.
“Oh yeah?” He said a smile forming in the corner of his mouth. “Such as what?” He leaned towards you slightly raising an eyebrow.
You took your opportunity and leaned in, pressing your lips against his, surprising him slightly but he immediately reciprocated, running his fingers through your hair. He pulled you slightly closer to him and you rested your hands against his chest. After a moment he started kissing you deeper, getting greedier by the seconds. He placed a hand on your cheek, and you felt his tongue slide in your mouth and your whole body became warm from the inside. You shared this deep kiss for what felt like hours but had probably been minutes before you slowly pulled away, your half-lidded eyes looking at Lucifer with nothing but lust.
“Oh, don’t look at me like that, or I won’t be able to restrain myself.” He said looking back at you, gently holding your chin up, looking as lustful as you did.
You laid your hand on his thigh, squeezing it softly and earning a groan from him.
“Are you sure that’s what you want y/n?” He asked one last time. “Our relationship might never be the same.”
You looked him dead in the eyes. “Fuck our old relationship.” You smiled.
He smiled back. “Alright, then.”
And with that he deployed his six wings and took off, surprising you and holding you princess style. You instinctively wrapped your arms around his neck and looked at him, you could tell from the serious and determined look on his face that he meant business.
You started kissing and sucking on his neck, making him shudder lightly.
“Hold on y/n, I’m going as fast as I can, but if you distract me, it’s only going to take longer.” He pleaded.
“I’m just trying to keep myself busy…” You whispered, licking his earlobe, making his flight pattern weaker.
“Okay, enjoy yourself, I’ll make sure to not restrain myself later…” He added, still looking ahead.
“I would hate it if you did.” You countered, reaching down, and placing your hand on his crotch. His pants were as tight as they could get and what was underneath was throbbing. He immediately stopped mid-flight, making you yelp in surprise.
“Now you’ve done it y/n.” He changed positions, wrapping your legs around him, pressing his crotch against yours and moving his hands to your ass. He proceeded to kiss you deeply, moaning softly as he felt your soft lips against his. You melted into the kiss, feeling how wet your own crotch had gotten already. He pulled out after a moment and looked deep into your eyes, you could see the desire burning in his eyes, though he managed to keep himself more composed than you.
“As much as I’d love to display such an amazing show to all of Hell, it is not really my style.” He smiled. “So, you’re going to be a good girl and behave so I can get us where we need to be.” He looked at you seriously.
You nodded.
“Good.” He smiled, before going ahead and moving you back to princess style as he continued forward.
~ Back at Lucifer's Tower ~
It was hard, but you had managed to keep your hands to yourself for the remaining 2 minutes of the flight.
Lucifer landed through his huge panoramic windows that were left open into his bedroom at the top of his tower.
You had never been into his personal bedroom, mostly just his office, but it was beautiful. The red theme was very elegant, and his Caesar size bed looked incredibly comfortable. You walked inside amazed at how luxurious everything looked.
“Y/n?” You heard from behind you.
You turned around only to be faced with Lucifer’s glowing figure, lit from behind by the moonlight. He had a plotting look on his face, a devilish smile perfectly formed on his confident face. He was calmly walking towards you, rolling up his sleeves.
“I hope you had fun with your little mid-flight teasing…” He fake-chuckled then sighed. “…because it’s time to take responsibility.” The smile was still there but his expression was much more serious.
You didn’t move, you just waited for him to walk up to you. When he reached you, he grabbed your face with both hands, kissing you softly at first. You kissed him back, but the kiss quickly turned into a much more heated one. You kept kissing as you stepped towards his bed, you removed his jacket from him, and he unzipped your dress as he approached the bed.
Your dress fell to the ground, exposing your white laced lingerie. As soon as your dress hit the ground you had found yourself with your legs wrapped around his hips once more, his hands holding you up effortlessly as you made out. You reached the bed, and he laid you on it. He took a good look at your figure, your expression, your curves, your hair.
“Stunning.” He whispered.
“You’re not bad yourself.” You smiled.
“Thanks!” He exclaimed, removing his shirt and exposing his fit figure. You stared just long enough for him to start smirking at you. “Are you okay?”
“Nope.” You answered truthfully.
He giggled.
“You’re funny, now get ready.”
You hadn’t had time to realize what he meant when you felt your thighs get lifted and spread with enough force to surprise you. You didn’t have time to vocally question what was happening that you felt your panties being pushed to the side and Lucifer give a slow lick to all of your womanhood, making you moan louder than you were comfortable with. You rapidly pressed your hands on your mouth. As soon as you had done so you heard him.
“Nuh huh~” He hummed.
“What?” You questioned looking down at Lucifer buried between your thighs, though not doing anything to you anymore.
“Remove those hands and let me hear it.” He looked playful and serious.
You slowly removed your hands, and he immediately went back to his business, licking you thoroughly, you could tell not only did he know what he was doing but he was also greatly enjoying himself while doing so. It was like he could feel your pleasure, giving him the ability to always adjust perfectly. You felt his tongue enter you and go deeper than you thought possible. Your moans were getting louder, he knew what spots were the most sensitive, and he teased them, building your pleasure. He loved the control he had over how you were feeling, he ate you out as tenderly and as roughly as you needed to turn you into a moaning mess, grabbing at the sheets. Every time he felt you get closer, he started teasing another spot, building your frustration alongside your pleasure. It drove you insane and soon enough you found yourself pleading with him to let you come.
“Luci please!” You implored.
“Yes, what is it love?” He asked innocently, playing coy.
“Come on please, stop teasing me.” You pleaded.
“I wanna hear you say it.” He smiled, enjoying the situation to the fullest. “What do you want me to do?” He added.
“Luci please let me come!” You begged; any ounce of pride you had having left your body at this point.
Lucifer got visibly aroused at those words, his eyes turning red for an instant as he went back at it, passionately eating you out and making you come the next moment, unleashing all your pent-up pleasure as your back arched into the leg-shaking orgasm. You moaned his name loudly as you melted into the mattress. You could feel him smile as he finished enjoying you.
You were catching your breath and recovering as Lucifer started kissing up your body, your stomach, chest then neck. That’s when you heard him speak softly.
“That’s for teasing me.” He looked into your eyes before landing a soft kiss on your lips.
You were too astounded to talk back.
At this point his crotch was pressing against yours and he looked more excited than ever.
“Good start now let’s get a little more serious.” He grinned before flipping the both of you making you straddle him as he laid back. You realized at this moment just how much he had planned for you tonight.
“Hmm…we won’t need that.” He snapped his finger making any remnants of clothes either of you wore vanish, exposing your breasts to him for the first time. His eyes devoured you as you felt a false sense of control back. You rested your hands on his chest, pressing your breasts together.
“Is everything okay?” You asked with a teasing tone.
“Nope.” He replied, realizing what you were doing. You grabbed his hand and pressed it against your breast.
“Want some of that, Daddy?” You sneered.
He squeezed your breast in a way that sent jolt in all your body, letting a moan escape your mouth, you face immediately flushing.
“Oh, what was that?” He smirked then proceeded to fondle your breasts again, making you feel weak as you moaned.
“I don’t understand how you do this!” You whined.
“Do what?” He said as he did it again, sending jolts up your body.
“You’re not using dirty tricks on me, are you?” You asked skeptically.
He looked at you and laughed audibly, before composing himself and propping himself up with one hand, placing his mouth next to your ear.
“No y/n, I’m just that good.” He declared confidently. Your face went crimson as you felt embarrassed and tried to hold your moans in as he continued teasing your now rock-hard nipple.
“I mean, besides the fact that I’m pretty confident in my own skill, that must surely mean that we are particularly compatible, don’t you think?” He asked nonchalantly.
You nodded, trying your best not to get lost in the pleasure this tease was inflicting upon you.
Your eyes widened lightly as you realized that your clothes having now been removed from the equation, your private parts were now directly in contact, you used that to your advantage and softly grinded against his shaft, earning a loud moan from him, surprising the both of you.
“I guess you’re right.” You smiled from the corner of your mouth.
He grinned lightly blushing before grabbing your waist and flipping you around as if you were a feather. You were still on top of him but you had now found yourself in a 69, your crotch inches from his face and his throbbing member right in front of you. You didn’t need to look at him to know he was proud of it.
You didn’t want to give him time to take control, so you grabbed the base of his shaft and took his tip in your mouth. You heard him groan as you swirled your tongue around it before giving his cock a hungry lick from the bottom up.
“Easy there, we have all night.” He cheerfully declared, panting softly.
You ignored him and kept enjoying yourself, savoring him like a lollipop.
“I see how it’s- gonna be.” He exclaimed; you could feel him struggling to fake his composure.
In one movement he pulled you even closer to his face and spread your pussy before passionately starting to eat you out again. You quickly felt weak, you pulled his cock out of your mouth, letting a long moan escape as a trail of saliva still linked your mouth to his head.
“Take it easy, I wouldn’t want you to choke~” He taunted.
“Don’t worry about me, this is nothing.” You replied with conviction.
You proceeded to lower your mouth on his cock all the way to the base, his whole member tickling more than the entrance of your throat.
“Oh god-“You had taken him by surprise, forcing an intense moan out of him, as he gripped the sheets tightly, pausing his own activity.
“Oh dear, you might wanna slow down a little.” He gasped.
You had him and you knew it, you moved in swift motions, your tongue wrapped around his shaft, hitting all the way down each time as you felt his body contract and his dick pulsate more and more.
“Holy shit y/n wait, I’m gonna- “He moaned as you felt his cum explode your mouth. This surprised you as you had been so focused on getting back at him, but you swallowed everything. Enjoying every bit of it, sucking him dry, or so you thought.
You finished swallowing and peeked at him, his head laying on the mattress as he caught his breath. He noticed you and grinned through his panting. “Nice play Y/n, impressive even, I hope you had fun.”
“I very much did, thank you.” You replied cheekily.
“Cause now it’s my turn.” He announced. You immediately felt two fingers enter your hole. He voluntarily pressed hard against your G-spot, the sensation so intense you screamed in pleasure. He grabbed your thigh tightly with one hand and fingered you relentlessly with the other. The pleasure overwhelming as you helplessly melted into it.
“Luci…please-“ You attempted but were cut.
“I don’t wanna hear it.” He continued. You grabbed his thigh tightly as you felt yourself getting closer to the edge.
“Come on go ahead, come for me.” He groaned, his calm and sarcastic demeanor replaced progressively by a heated passion. You tried your best to resist but it was pointless. You turned around, catching a glimpse of him, and were caught off guard, witnessing his horns out and his eyes red while he looked like he was intensely enjoying himself. He pulled out his fingers and proceeded to eat you with all his might, his tongue hitting your spot just right to make you climax against his mouth as he savored all of it.
He finished enjoying himself while you recuperated from it all. When you peeked at him again, he had gone back to his usual self.
“Do you often get all red and…horny, I guess?” You asked.
He flipped you around, pressing you against his chest, face to face.
“What was that? Oh, you mean my horns and stuff? Only when I get heated. Do you not like it? Cause I can try to tone it down.” He asked, a worried look on his face.
“No, I like that I get you heated…” You looked away, a light blush appearing on your cheeks.
He smiled softly. He cupped your face then kissed you tenderly.
“You do have that effect on me.”
You felt his member back to its throbbing state. You kissed him deeply yet delicately before looking at him seductively.
“Luci, time for the main course don’t you think?” You rubbed your soaked entrance against his hard member. “I’m at my limit.” You begged.
Having witnessed his previous reactions, you weren’t surprised when you felt his member grow even bigger after you had pronounced those words.
“Good because I’m also reaching my limit.” He answered.
You felt his tip press against your entrance and slide all the way in as you both melted into each other, a deep sigh of relief escaping your mouths.
“Holy-…you feel so good.” He groaned. He sat up, setting you both in a lotus position before resting his hands on your hips and starting to thrust. The pleasure felt so visceral you both moved cautiously as if trying to not come too fast, but without noticing, you both picked up the pace, panting and moaning filling the air. Your hands were gripping his shoulders tightly as you rocked your hips. One of his hands had migrated to your ass, squeezing your cheek tightly and the other was fondling your breast. You cupped his face and kissed him deeply, playing with his tongue as you felt his member twitch inside of you. You ran your fingers through his hair while kissing him and noticed him moan more as you did so.
Soon, the position wasn’t allowing him to move as freely as he desired and he was now standing on his knees, holding both of your ass cheeks tightly as he pounded into you. You were panting heavily as you felt it coming once again.
“Coming already?” He teased, his own panting giving away how he also felt.
You nodded no, not very convincingly. He took that as a challenge and precisely hit your G-spot repeatedly until you came, whimpering and your grip weakening.
“Good thing you’re not coming dear.” He kissed your neck, slightly sucking on it leaving a hickey.
This position had become too much for you, so he laid you flat on your stomach.
“You’re hanging there Y/n?” He asked eagerly.
“Of course!” You replied enthusiastically, it felt like your stamina was bottomless for all this pleasure.
“Good.” He replied. You felt him enter you again hungrily from behind, his body hovering over yours as he held both of your wrists, pinning them down onto the bed. Each thrust forcing a louder moan out of you. It was like the more he fucked you, the easier it became for him to make you come. His moans had also become deeper as he kept thrusting, your own increasing tightness making it harder for him. He moved his hands to your hips and dug his nails into you, allowing him a better control as he thrusted even deeper than before. You held the sheets tightly as you tried your best to match his movements, both feeding off each other’s building pleasure.
“Y/n.” You heard from behind.
You tried turning around to tell him you felt yourself getting closer when you felt his lips roughly take yours. He could’ve sent you over the edge with that kiss alone, but he also thrusted deeper than he ever had at the same time, you could only lean into the kiss as you felt the two of you come simultaneously.
As soon as the wave had finished washing over you, you collapsed on the bed, and he collapsed on top of you. He quickly caught himself though, rolling next to you and pulling you into his arms. You both relaxed for a moment, holding each other.
“Oh, my lord, that was amazing!” You heard him speak first. You turned to him, and he was smiling at you.
“It really was.” You calmly replied.
“I told you I was confident in my skill.” He smiled turning from tender to confident as he traced his finger over your body.
“I guess it was alright.” You declared.
The silence following made you look up, only to be met with a devastated look on his face.
“I’m joking!” You added, feeling bad about your joke.
“Ah! I knew that!” He fake-laughed awkwardly trying to look confident. You laughed at how cute he looked.
You pecked his lips.
You cuddled for a while before you heard a buzzing sound.
“My phone! It must still be in my dress.” You reached your dress, covering yourself with the sheet of the bed, grabbing your phone then heading back to the bed.
You checked your phone and noticed 20 missed calls.
“Huh, fuck him.” You both exclaimed at the same time before staring at each other in surprise and bursting out laughing.
You heard another buzz and was expecting it from your phone, but no new notifications had appeared.
Lucifer grabbed his phone and started laughing nervously.
“What is it?” You inquired.
“That’s, hmm…” He showed you a message that read:
From 'Ozzie 🍆💦' : I saw you took off early with your totally-just-platonic-friend. How’s the banging? 😏🍑
You stared at it for a second then you both exchanged a look and blinked, before bursting out laughing this time even harder.
~ The End ~
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pupkashi · 2 months
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rookie f1 racer satoru gojo decides the best way to kick off race weekend is going to a coffee shop
a/n: hi friends ! here is the first one shot for my f1 racer!gojo au :3 i am so beyond excited to start these, they won’t be a cohesive series & can be read alone! i will make an au masterlist though :] please enjoy and let me know what yall think !! if there’s any ideas or requests yall have for this series send them in !! reblogs very appreciated <3 ok that is all bye bye ! <3 also both gojo and reader are early 20s since i have him in his rookie season
word count - 3,444
masterlist
LIGHTS OUT & AWAY WE GO !
there’s not many people out during usual work hours, kids are in school, adults are at work, and the world is a little quieter. it’s something satoru had grown to love. between all the cameras reporters, he just wanted some peace, and no one knew peace quite like coffee shops.
satoru sauntered into the building, it was unassuming enough, a few people scattered throughout the establishment, all too engrossed in their own work to look up. he doubted he’d get recognized by anyone in here.
he orders and gets his drink and pastry fairly quickly, sitting by the window and watching the world pass by him. life seemed to move in slow motion, the leisurely paces of someone walking their dog making him relax a bit.
“hey! is it cool if i use this outlet?” the voice makes him jump a bit, turning around to face whoever it was speaking.
you smile softly at him, hoping he would be kind enough to just let you charge your laptop. you figured he’d be attractive, his hair’s an eye catching bright white color, contrasting to the black shirt and sunglasses he had on. you caught a glimpse of his blue eyes as he looks at you, nodding before clearing his throat.
“yeah go ahead,” he returns the smile, motioning for you to plug in your charger.
“I’ll just leave it here to charge, i don’t wanna bother” you state, quickly plugging in your laptop before moving to walk away.
“you can sit if you wanna, it’s no problem” he rushes out quickly, hoping it was enough to make you stay. his breath caught in his throat as you turned to look at him.
“are you sure?” he nods quickly, “yeah no worries! I’m not doing much of anything right now,” he grins, regaining his composure and taking a sip of his drink.
it’s quiet between the two of you before you speak up, “you like Mercedes?” satoru feels his blood go cold, looking at you with a confused expression. you gesture to his shirt, “you’ve got their merch on” you laugh.
“oh! yeah they’re pretty cool,” he nods, watching as you smile and nod, focusing on your screen again.
“i didn’t know they had merch like that,” you admit, “maybe it’s just ‘cause im not super into cars.” satoru feels relief wash over him, his shoulders subtly relaxing before he’s looking at you again.
“it’s their f1 team merch” he says, “i work for them, actually.” his hearts beating a bit faster as you make eye contact with him, looking up from your laptop.
“oh? that’s so cool! you’re a mechanic or-?” your head cocks a bit to the side, smiling when the man across from you breaks into a wide grin.
satoru debates going along with your idea, but he can’t bring himself to lie to you, not when you’re eyes are shining at him.
“i actually race for them, im a driver” he corrects you gently, your eyes widen a bit and you cover your mouth as it opens.
“oh my god I’m so sorry! i don’t know a thing about formula one” you laugh nervously, “i knew there was something going on with all the extra fuss in the city but i had no idea what.”
he smiles at you and waves off your apology, “don’t worry! it was nice having someone to talk to that’s not yelling at me to sign something” he cringes a bit at the way the words rolled off his tongue, but you still smile at him, going back to working on whatever was it was you were doing on your laptop.
“one of my friends is actually getting into f1 i think, is there someone named,” you trail off as you think of the other mans name, “i think it’s Charlie? charles? one of those two” you laugh nervously, satoru’s ears perk up at the name.
“charles leclerc?” He asks, your eyes light up, “yeah that one! he’s a racer right?” satoru nods at you.
“yeah he races for ferrari,” you nod along to his words, realizing you hadn’t caught his name yet.
“what was your name, just so i know who to root for when people ask my favorite driver” you grin, a twinkle in your eye that makes his stomach flip.
“I’m satoru, satoru gojo” he reaches his hand across the table for you to shake, you can’t stop the soft chuckle that leaves your lips as your hands connect, a firm shake against his much larger, warmer and calloused hands.
a comfortable silence falls between the two of you as satoru finishes his drink off and you continue to focus on your laptop. satoru can’t help but continue to look your way, thinking you were absolutely breathtaking.
you on the other hand, had your heart beating against your rib cage as you pulled up your messaging app on your laptop and quickly texted your best friend.
I HAD TO PLUG IN MY CHARGER BUT THE ONLY OUTLET WAS NEXT TO THIS SUPER HOT GUY AND I ENDED UP SITTING IN THE BOOTH W HIM AND WERE TALKING AND HES AN F1 DRIVER ???? DID I MENTION HES HOT AS FUCK??
you wait a couple minutes, your friend has yet to reply as your leg bounced under the table.
“what are you working on? if i may ask” the question makes you immediately close your messages and go back to your google document, looking blankly at the paper in front of you.
“it’s some busy work for a class im in, required by the university” you shrug, “was getting through it pretty quickly until my laptop died on me” the snowy haired man smiled at you, laughing softly as he pulls his phone out.
satoru scrolls aimlessly on his socials, nothing seemed as interesting as you did, sitting practically across from him engrossed in your work. the two of you made easy conversation for the next hour or so, not realizing how much time had passed since youd sat down.
you’d tried to get up and leave after you turned in your assignment and laptop was charged, giving him privacy you imagined he yearned for. but satoru was quick to tell you to stay, “you don’t have to go! it’s nice talking to you” he says, “like a breath of fresh air.”
and so you sit back down, the two of you falling into place as if you were old friends, people who’d known each other in years past and were catching up. you didn’t ask about his job or his career, asking about him and what his favorite color was, his favorite season and if he actually liked his coffee as sweet as it has smelled.
you kept reminding yourself this was gonna be a one off thing, he’d leave and you’d part ways, never talking again as you inevitably turned on an f1 race, seeing the pretty man on your tv screen and imagining what could’ve been if you were a bit braver.
it had been nearly three hours since you’d sat at his booth when his phone starts buzzing, quickly answering the call from his manager. his small smile turns to a faint pout as they tell him to head to the paddock for free practice in a couple hours, sighing and telling them he’d be on his way shortly.
you feel disappointed as you hear the words, not wanting the bubble you were in to burst, wanting to stay seated across from the attractive man for as long as you could.
“I’m gonna head out, have to go work” he jokes, his smile widens when you laugh, “i hope you pass your exam thursday,” he’s doing everything in his power to linger around, trying to figure out a way to spend more time with you.
you laugh softly and nod your head, “it’s open note so hopefully it’s not too bad, but good luck at your race! I’m sure you’ll do great.”
satoru’s bright blue eyes light up at your words, you could almost see the lightbulb forming atop his head, making you furrow your brows slightly in confusion.
“why don’t you come? to the race this weekend? are you busy?” the words tumble out his mouth in an unorganized jumble of excitement, he’s beaming at you with his bangs in his eyes, sunglasses barely balancing on the tip of his nose.
“oh i couldn’t, those tickets must be so expensive and i don’t wanna bother-” satoru is cutting you off with furrowed brows and a bewildered expression his face.
“you think I’d make you pay? don’t be silly,” he grins, “I’ll get you some good seats and maybe we can meet up after the race?” he can hear his heart beating in his ears. was he being insane? a little bit. did he care? not at all.
you bite your lip for a second, it’s not like you had an insane amount of work, plus the most attractive man you’d ever laid eyes on was asking you out to some crazy sporting event you’d only heard of in passing.
“okay yeah, i think i could squeeze it in my schedule” you grin, watching as the man across from you smile at you. he’s quick to ask for your information, immediately sending it off to whoever it was needed it and was informing you of all you needed to know.
“I told them to give you an extra ticket so you can bring a friend so you’re not too lonely waiting for me” the words make your face and ears heat up, trying to remain composed in front of him.
“well i guess I’ll see you sunday then?” the words make your stomach flip, wondering how he’d look like with his gear on.
“see you sunday” he smiles at you, waving goodbye as his phone buzzes for a second time, hurrying out of the coffee shop with his whole body buzzing from excitement.
you don’t fully process the entire interaction until you’re sitting in your apartment, phone lighting up from a new email.
Mercedes F1 team PR
Good afternoon! We are elated to send you two tickets to invite you to this weekends Grand Prix race! Below you will find all the information…
you open it quickly, reading the entire thing twice before you’re rolling onto your back and giggling uncontrollably, giddy beyond belief to see satoru again. your fingers itch to look him up, deciding against it and locking your phone as you try to continue on with your day.
sunday arrives quicker than you thought it would, your friend following you into the circuit as you try to figure out where to go next, looking around helplessly as you look down at your phone and at the map provided.
“are we supposed to go down there?” your friend points, both of you staring at each other blankly. the two of you wait for a second before looking around once more, taking a leap of faith and walking with confidence where you think you had to be.
your friend is much braver than you are, flagging down someone in a staff shirt and showing them the ticket, they’re quick to lead the two of you in the opposite direction, making you and your friend hold back laughter until you’re finally seated.
satoru was anxiously looking around, he wasn’t exactly sure where they had seated you, but he’d requested you be close to the garage, wanting to say hello before the race.
“you’re a lot more antsy than usual” the deep voice makes him look away from his phone. nanami kento, right hand man to Toto Wolff and next in line to take over the team principal position.
“I’ve got an important guest I’ve gotta impress” satoru replies quickly, putting his phone away and walking towards kento, “I’m gonna rack in some points today” he winks, making the blonde roll his eyes.
soon enough satoru is seated in the car and on the grid, mind completely focused on the race ahead, taking deep breaths as the red lights appear.
you couldn’t help but watch some race clips last night, figuring you should know some basics and not show up completely clueless. the videos, however, didn’t prepare you for how fast the cars truly were, engines sending vibrations to your chest and stands shaking as they raced by.
“and gojo overtakes hamilton! the rookie had a terrible qualifying yesterday, but seems as though he’s back in the game today” the announcers words blare through the speakers, chest blooming with pride as they talked up satoru.
you’re focused on the primarily black car, watching as he zooms past the stands at unbelievable speeds. your heart racing as he passes other drivers, cheering when he successfully overtook them.
satoru continues to climb up the ranks, cinching a position on podium; second place, sandwiched between verstappen and leclerc. he’s hopping out of the car and celebrating with his team, squeezing kento a bit tighter than the rest. his blue eyes are focused on the crowd as he waits his turn for the post race interview, trying to catch sight of you, mind racing as he wonders if you even came.
he smiles at charles as he passes him, walking up to the interviewer and answering the questions with generic answers ‘I’m beyond excited for the rest of the season’ and ‘I’m looking forward to the day i win my first Grand Prix’ along with thanking his support system and team before kindly thanking the interviewer and heading to the winners room before the podium ceremony.
satoru’s messy hair is covered by the Mercedes hat, taking it off and ruffling it a bit, sighing when he scans the crowd one last time and doesn’t make you out, turning around and closing the door behind him.
you only make it to the floor area moments after charles walks out, slightly out of breath as they call out satoru’s name.
the snowy haired racer is waving to the crowd, a semblance of a smile on his face as he stands on the podium, eyes still searching the crowd in one last feeble attempt to spot you.
satoru feels his heart skip a beat and face turn even redder as he locks eyes with you, a much more genuine smile on his face when he gives you a little wave.
you’re heart races as you make eye contact with the driver, adoring the way his cheeks flushed and skin looked honey like under the rays of the sunset. you smile and clap as he raises the trophy, pointing directly at the trophy then at you.
this one’s for you
maybe you’re a hopeless romantic, or maybe he’s just too hot and charming to not fall for, but you feel your heart giving in and walls crumbling as he shakes the large champagne bottle, dousing the other two until all three of them were dripping with champagne.
satoru finds you in the garage after 20 minutes, thanking his manager a hundred times over before walking up to you. his race suit only on from the waist down, black fireproof sticking to his body perfectly and snowy white hair tousled and wet from a mixture of champagne and sweat.
“you came” he says, making you nod and smile at him sweetly.
“why wouldn’t i? my favorite driver invited me” you reply.
satoru rolls his eyes and snickers, “im the only driver you know,” he watched you grin up at him sheepishly, “still you’re my favorite!”
“you did really good out there by the way” the words make him smile wider, biting his lip softly.
“yeah?” he asks, you nod your head, far too nervous to trust your voice as he looks at you, head too scrambled to figure out the emotion painted on his face as he looks at you. “good enough that you’d consider going on a date with me?”
it seems like it’s just the two of you in the busy garage as you smile up at him, tilting your head as you nod, “yeah I’d consider it.”
you think he looks almost angelic under the fluorescent lights in the garage, his white hair looks like a halo as you look up at him, pretty blue eyes a stark contrast against his fair skin and black uniform.
satoru thinks you look unbelievable, hair falling perfectly and voice sweet as honey as you talk to him, a saccharine smile on your lips just for him, the thought makes his knees buckle and brain stutter. he doesn’t care how whipped he looks as he takes you in, relishing in the moment before he speaks up.
“I’ll be off the clock next time,” he jokes, loving the way your giggles sounded. it feels like a relief off his shoulders, grinning widely as the two of you continued to talk.
“I’ve gotta get out of this uniform, but I’ll text you?” he looks down, biting his bottom lip as he fights a smile before looking back up at you, hoping you’d get the hint and give him your number.
you smile at him and tilt your head, “is that your way of asking for my number?” satoru blushes, smiling at you shyly and nodding his head, you can’t help but giggle as you grab a piece of paper and pen from the table besides you, scribbling your number and a smiley face. “here, don’t lose it.”
satoru grins, “i don’t lose.”
the sky is dark by the time you exit the garage, biting your lip and fighting back a smile as you meet up with your friend, finally heading home for the night. gushing about the interaction, reliving every moment and squealing at the memories.
when was the last time you’d felt this way? when was the last time you’d let your guard down so quickly for someone?
it was strange. the way your heart leapt when you saw him, the way your face flushed when he spoke to you and the way you felt so comfortable with him.
“maybe he’s your soulmate” you friend wiggled their brows at you, teasing you as you roll your eyes.
“or he’s putting up a front and he’s like every other guy” you shoot back, biting your lip. he felt, different. genuine.
“you don’t have to be so pessimistic! you never know he could be the man you spend your life with” they shrug their shoulders, smiling when you fall silent and hum.
you’re showered and in bed when your phone vibrates, a new text message from an unknown number.
satoru had spent an hour drafting the text, deleting it and typing it out again, removing and adding emojis until he forgot what he was even trying to say, starting over and groaning. when was the last time he was this nervous to text someone?
he can’t recall ever wanting to spend more time with someone the way he does with you. the though of love at first sight crosses his mind, making his face burn and dimples pop as he smiles.
hi it’s satoru ! thanks for coming to the race tonight , i hope i can see you again :)
his heart pounds against his chest as the three little dots appear on his screen, holding his breath when they disappear and reappear time and time again.
you continued to delete your text, trying to figure out how to word your text before finally biting the bullet and pressing send, heart racing as it says delivered, then read within the minute.
thanks for inviting me ! it was a lot of fun,, I’d love to see you again also :3
satoru squealed at the text, biting his lip before replying back, giggling at your every text and replying as fast as he could. the two of you texting back and forth until your eyes were too heavy to keep open, wishing him a goodnight. satoru was already pinching himself to stay awake, somewhat thankful you were also tired as he wished you goodnight, setting his phone down and falling asleep moment later, the faintest of smiles painted on his lips.
you grinned as you locked your phone, setting it down and biting your lip before squealing into your pillow. he wanted to see you again. you didn’t fight off the smile on your lips as your eyes fluttered shut, slowly falling asleep, then all at once, dreams filled with blue eyes and white hair and expensive, fast cars.
there’s no better place to find a lover than at a coffee shop on race weekend.
taglist (send an ask to be added!): @chilichopsticks @anime-for-the-sleepless @4sat0ruu @safaia-47 @nanamikentoseyebags @fushironi @nineooooo @the-mom-friend-dot-com @gojoshooter @beautiful-is-boring @sweetheart-satoru @luna0713hunter @torusmochi @sadmonke @lovelylixie
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buckboi · 27 days
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Angsty Little Coda to 7.6 because I couldn’t get the look on Margaret Buckley’s face out of my head but don’t worry it has a happy ending
*Now edited and on Ao3*
G / 1k / TW for bad parents
“Evan, have you got a moment?” 
Five words from his mother and Buck falls off cloud nine and crashes back to nineteen years old.
But Chimney’s alive and okay. Maddie’s glowing beside him in her gown. Everyone’s chatting and eating the overpriced (but admittedly delicious) wedding cake. It feels like a family gathering, and Buck won’t cause a scene in front of his family.
“Yeah, sure,” he says. Tommy gives his hand a gentle squeeze. Says I’ll be right here with just his eyes. Buck squeezes back, and follows his mom into the corridor.
“Come here.” She pulls a tissue from her pocket with one hand, grabs his chin with the other and starts wiping away the soot Tommy had left on his face when they reunited. “So. What’s all this then?”
It’s a trap, he knows.
“What’s all what?” he deflects.
“All this.” She waves her hand at his face, then towards the hospital room where Tommy is visible through the glass door. “You’re an adult now, Evan. I thought you knew better than to upstage your sister on her wedding day.”
Oh great. Accused of doing exactly what he’s trying not to do. It would be funny if it wasn’t frustrating.
“Second wedding,” he mutters under his breath. Just because Maddie was happy to forgive her parents for missing the first one, doesn't mean Buck has to let it go too.
“Excuse me?”
“I said she knows,” he corrects. This is a happy day. Chim is alive. Maddie is beautiful. Tommy is waiting for him. Things are good. He’s not arguing with his mother. “Maddie. I told her about Tommy weeks ago. She was the first person I told, actually. And she told me to bring him to the wedding, if I wanted to. The only one here who seems to have a problem with it is you.”
His mom scoffs at that, and lets go of his face.
“I’m not homophobic.”
“I didn’t say you were.”
“I just don’t think it’s right, springing it on your father like that.” She tuts at him. Like he’s nineteen, fifteen, twelve, eight years old. He almost liked it when she was disappointed in him. At least she was paying attention. “He’s getting older. His heart.”
“You think me having a boyfriend is going to give dad a heart attack?” He laughs at the absurdity of it all. “Do you think we should get him outta that room before he realizes Hen and Karen are lesbians?”
“Evan.” How she manages to say his name with some much judgment when she’s the one who names him, he’ll never know. “It’s different. When you find out your own child has been lying to you for years. And all those girls you’d string along...”
She looks hurt, but not angry, which is its own kind of fucked up. It’s not fair. She doesn’t get to be sad about this.
Not when things are finally feeling good, and safe, and right. When Tommy feels right.
“I wasn’t lying.” It’s maybe more of the truth than she deserves.
“I don’t see how that can be true if you’re gay.”
“Well I’m bi, actually. And I only just-“ he scrubs a hand over his face, probably spreading the soot around worse. “It’s a recent development, okay? That’s why people didn’t know. ‘Cause it’s new. And Tommy and I are taking it slow.”
“I suppose that’s a first for you too, Evan?” she snipes and it’s goddamn unfair because who is she to ask him that? To judge his life when she’s never so much as pretended to take an interest in it?
He has options, now. He could storm off. He could say something worse. He could say something worse, something about dead children and how they can’t disappoint you like the ones who are still alive and then storm off.
She’s not worth it, says a voice in his head. It sounds a lot like Eddie, and Bobby; like Maddie, and Chim, and Hen, and Tommy.
Like someone who actually cares about him.
“Can we just… not?” he asks, and for a second Buck thinks she might actually refuse. Might force the point, but she lets out an unnecessarily weary sigh and nods. “Can’t we go back to the party, and enjoy what’s left of the day?”
“Of course. Why wouldn’t I want that?” Buck doesn’t even attempt to answer that one. “Just let me get you looking respectable again and we can go back.” She grabs at his face once more.
“Buck! Chim wants you back for a team photo,” Maddie says, bursting out of Chimney’s room in a cloud of tulle. Just in time to witness his humiliation. Great. “Aww, you’re wiping it off?” 
“Of course he is,” their mom says. She’s scratching at his face with the tissue. Speaking for him like he can’t answer on his own. “It’s your wedding, Maddie. I won’t let him show you and Howard up.”
Buck takes a deep breath and smiles thinly as his sister furrows her brows.
“Oh, well, Chim said he wanted a photo with your face all dirty.” She laughs sweetly, and grabs Buck’s arm. “He wants to capture every detail of the day.” 
“Oh,” Buck says eloquently as he lets his sister pull him back into Chimney’s room. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s alright,” she assures him.
“No it isn’t,” Chim cuts in from his bed. “Tommy, again. I want that photo!”
And Buck laughs, because it’s silly, and because he knows his family loves him. He asks, “Do we have to?” not because he doesn’t want to, but because it’s Maddie and Chim’s day, and he never wanted to steal their spotlight, even for a moment.
“Oh absolutely you do, Mister,” Maddie tells him, with just enough tease that he knows she wouldn’t force it if he protested. “Our wedding, our rules.”
Buck has no interest in protesting, instead he turns towards Tommy, who’d been a shockingly good sport about this. Buck’s sure he’s exhausted; probably desperate to get back to his apartment and shower off the day. Kinda wants to join him there if he’s being completely honest with himself.
“Well?” Tommy asks, interrupting his steamy fantasy.
Buck bites his lip like he's a teenager again.
“Hi.”
“H-“ Buck interrupts Tommy’s reply with his lips, far softer than before.
He’ll never ask how his mom reacted - whether she rolled her eyes, or pursed her lips or looked, even for a moment, proud of him - but Buck’s family cheers and jeers and whistles their support.
And he feels free.
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heartcereql · 10 months
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tommy shelby x finn's teacher!reader
when you first read his name on the class list, you freezed, a shiver running down your spine. of course you weren't oblivious as to who the shelbys were or what they did. but he was so young. twelve. you actually had a tiny bit of hope that finn shelby would be different than his brothers were. you were soon proven wrong.
finn and what he called "his boys" soon started doing their business around the school, and, before you knew it, inside the school as well. bringing cigarettes, picking on younger students, terrorizing girls...
you had had enough. it was one thing for adults to get their hands dirty doing whatever businesses. but a kid? hell no. and while you couldn’t do anything about what they did outside school, you could try to correct their behaviour in school.
so that's how you found yourself one grey and cloudy evening in front of the shelbys' door, mustering the courage to knock.
you knocked three times. nothing. as you were about to knock again, you heard the lock and then the door opened, revealing a man with the same ocean eyes as finn.
thomas shelby.
you knew him, naturally, but this was the first time he was so close, let alone about to talk to you.
“good afternoon” you greeted as you tried to ignore the way your chest was tightening.
“afternoon. may i help you?” he asked, hand resting on the doorknob.
“yes, actually. i’m y/n y/l/n. i’m finn’s teacher, and i wanted to discuss certain behaviours of his with you" you explained firmly. “if that’s okay” you added in a mumble.
he just stared at you for an instant. an instant that felt like eternity to you. then he nodded, letting you come into the house.
he led you through the betting house to his office.
he sat on his chair; you took your place on the other side of the desk.
“so” he said, pulling out a cigarette, “is he getting in a lot of trouble, eh?”
you smiled timidly, admiring his sharp features.
"more like he's the one creating the trouble." you watched as tommy lit his cigarette and exhaled a cloud of smoke before resuming. "he and his presumed gang sometimes drink beers or smoke cigarettes, torment some younger kids maybe. mr shelby, i understand that he spends a lot of time at the cut, and that ... um, that..." you were suddenly at a loss of words. you didn't want to say it, but that's how you felt it: he had grown up in a similar environment.
thomas smirked, knowing your thoughts. he knew what your mind instinctively told you. but he didn't feel enraged. quite the opposite, your concern seemed genuine, and you looked like a lovely young woman; even if your thoughts were a bit tainted by the reputation that preceeded him, he knew you meant no harm.
he also took a moment to admire how off place you looked there. your clothes were rose golden, which seemed to accentuate the soft aura that surrounded you. even with the dim lights and the greyish ambience of the office, your skin appeared to glimmer.
"i guess i'm okay with whatever he does outside school, that's what i'm trying to say. but as of late, finn and his boys have been taking their businesses around the school area. and that is of my concern. we can not afford to have children intimidated, girls harassed; hell, if a child were to try substances because of your brother and his friends, and the parents found out, we could be- the school could be sued and-"
"miss y/l/n" tommy interrupted your ramble.
"y/n." you corrected, offering a smile. "please, no one calls me miss y/n/l; it would feel weird"
"i see then. y/n" you tried not to feel butterflies tingling on your stomach as your name rolled off his tongue. he smiled as well, more to himself than to you.
"finn is his own man now" tommy continued. "i will talk to him about this, but i can not guarantee that he will do as he is told. truth is, i don't have much power over him now."
he took another drag of the cigarette, eyes finding yours through the smoke.
"what do you mean? i'm sure there's something you can do"
"not really, much to my displeasure. i assure you, y/n, that i will do what i can to correct finn's behaviour at school. he used to want to be like me, y'know? but now he's... he's him. "
"i don't think that's entirely true. you know, one of the only assignments finn turned in this semester was an essay about the person they admired most. not only finn excelled in the task, handing a beautiful composition, well structured and showing a wide range of vocabulary; but the essay was about you, mr shelby. it professed how he wanted nothing but to be like 'his brother tommy'. he truly looks up to you. he still does, mr shelby. so, i think you will succeed at getting him to change his mind."
now it was tommy who seemed to have run out of words, only inhaling from his cigarette. his eyes studied you meticulously. how your eyes fluttered around the room, unable to settle, refusing to meet his; how you clutched your hands in your lap; how your chest rose and fell as you breathed.
“i’ll give it a try, eh?” he finally spoke.
a smile lit your face.
"wonderful. well, thank you for your time, mr shelby", you showed him your appreciation to him listening to you as you stood up.
"tommy"
"what?" you asked, genuinely confused; you thought you hadn't heard correctly.
"if i am to call you y/n, it is only fair for you to call me tommy. i suppose" he stated. though he refused to look directly at you, a smile was tugging at his lips.
"very well, then. thank you for having me this evening, tommy" you offered a tight-lipped smile.
he just gave you a curt nod, taking another drag of the cigarette. you smoothed some wrinkles on your clothes and, after giving him one last grin, you made your way to the door, ready to leave.
"wait" he uttered, his voice low, as if he was rethinking his decision.
you turned to him, hand resting on the frame of the door.
"would you- maybe, consider going for a drink with me?" he hadn't looked at you as he posed the question; but his gaze locked with yours when he was expecting your answer.
you felt heat creep up your neck and cheeks, praying to whoever was listening that he didn't notice.
"only if you stay true to your word, tommy" you responded before heading out, smiling like a fool when you were finally out of sight.
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© heartcereql, 2023 || thank you for reading ! 𓆩 ♱ 𓆪
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dumbseee · 10 months
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stalker. pt.2.
masterlist.
charles leclerc x reader. / ? x reader.
fc: lalisa manoban.
note: thanks you guys for 1k!!! i love seeing everyone’s reactions to my aus it really warms my heart <3 i love youuuuuuu <333
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liked by landonorris, yourbestie, francisca.cgomes and 1 007 819 others.
y/n: thanks again @.apmmonaco for inviting me again! raising money for charity is something really important for me, and i’ll continue to do it till the end. you can donate too right here: www.donateforcharity.com
_
fan1: a fucking goddess
fan2: charles fumbled HARD
fan3: men really can’t handle bad bitches
isahernaez: stunning!
fan4: the fact that they were ALL there lmao
fan5: apparently they were sitting near each other…
fan6: where is deuxmoi when you need them.
fan7: how to be a fly in that room tbh
fan8: can we STOP talking about musty charles and appreciate y/n’s beauty and work for charity??
fan9: y/n can do better than him anyway, her family literally owns half of monaco
view all 30 738 comments.
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liked by francisca.cgomes, yourbestie, maxfewtrell and 886 628 others.
y/n: enjoying some sun with friends :)
_
fan1: "friends" hm? then why is your fucking bestie still in monaco, y/n???
fan2: and who tf is that?
fan3: GUYS CHILL let the girl catch some dicks omg
fan4: i hope charles is crying rn
fan5: nah but charles must be regretting all his life choices
fan6: i wonder who that friend is
fan7: she looks so good tho
fan8: let’s stop talking about HER love life she’s a grown ass adult
fan9: my girl is thriving we love to see it <3
view all 12 792 comments.
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you did your best to ignore the look in people’s eyes when they saw you in the paddock. after all, what was a driver’s ex girlfriend doing here? to be fair, you didn’t even know yourself, but he asked you to come and for a reason that is still foreign to you, you said yes. because who could say no to him?
it felt weird tho, coming here alone and supporting someone else, it was weird to you. especially because your ex boyfriend was here with the girl he cheated on you with. no wonder everyone was looking at you. but you didn’t care, you knew why you were here, and charles wasn’t going to ruin this moment.
"y/n!" a familiar voice made you sigh in relief, it was your friend, lily. she greeted you with her signature smile and hugged you tightly. "i haven’t seen you in such a long time." she took a step back and you smiled at her. you loved this tiny woman so much, she was a huge support for you during the breakup and even now. "i missed you too! where is alex?" you asked, your friend’s boyfriend not in sight which was weird because these two were tied at the hip. "doing interviews with logan. but let’s not talk about boys, how are you?" you two linked arms and walked through the paddock. "i’m fine actually, it’s weird but i think i’m moving on." you smiled and looked at the sky, knowing exactly why you were moving on so quickly. "i’m happy then." she smiled back but it dropped away from her face quickly, when she saw something in your way. when you followed her gaze you chest tightened when you saw charles and his girlfriend. when she saw you she immediately jumped in charles’s arms to kiss him, which caught him off guard and annoyed him.
an arm on your shoulder finally snapped you out of it, when you looked on your right to see who suddenly appeared next to you, you saw him. and all your sorrow immediately disappeared like rain when the sun is shining.
"hi, beautiful." he said, and you couldn’t help but smile.
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liked by y/n, landonorris, danielricciardo and 2 729 099 others.
carlossainz55: red is still your color by the way.
_
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taglist: @sassyheroneckgiant @ssararuffoni @myescapefromthislife @idkiwantchocolatee @motorsp0rt @leclercdream @janeholt3 @ivegotparticulartaste @shessthunderstoms @doromoni @judespoision @ariagonzalezsstuff @angelayse @notleclerc @sm3156 @rainerax @shinrjj @ferrariloverr
(i couldn’t tag everyone :( so i just wrote the @)
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jksprincess10 · 1 year
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The handyman part 1 || Joel Miller x reader
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Summary: You broke your bed and need Joel Miller, your handy neighbor in Jackson, to fix it. 
CW: FLUFF, sexual tension, talks about past losses, age gap, not smut but it’s coming.
Read part 2
A few weeks ago, a man and his daughter had moved in the vacant house next to yours in Jackson.  He mostly kept to himself, you knew only pieces of information; he was named Joel, he was Tommy’s brother and he worked in construction in another life. Lastly, he was very handsome for his age.
Having a handyman just next door was a good thing. Especially, when one night, during terrible nightmares, you broke your bed. You fought so hard, because you thought that the dream was real, that the bottom of the frame was split, and you were now sleeping on the floor.
It took you a few days of sleeping badly to build up the courage to knock on your door. When you did, his daughter opened the door. She was well in her teens and had the reputation of being too… honest.
“Yes?”
“I’m looking for… Mr Miller.”
She laughed so hard at how you called him that she had to support herself with her hands on her knees, and you felt your cheeks burning.
“Don’t call him like that, please, he’ll beat your ass.”
“What’s that about, Ellie?”
You heard Joel’s voice and the loud thumping of his work boots, before he appeared behind Ellie. Your eyes traveled to him instantly. He had broad shoulders, curly greying hair, and a trimmed beard.
“Your date’s here I guess.” Ellie shrugged and left you between adults.
“Sorry ‘bout her. What can I do for ya?”
Joel looked down at you. You were a sweet thing, probably just old enough to be born before the outbreak.
“I… uh… sorry to bother you. You told me you worked in construction. right?” He nodded, waiting for you to get to the point. “Guessed you were probably… good with your hands.” You just realized how it sounded and slapped your palm against your forehead. “What I mean is. I need you to fix something for me. Please.  In exchange… I’ll… I’ll cook for you two. Or… anything else you need, really.”
“Just let me get my tools, I’ll be right over.” He tried to ignore his racing dirty thoughts as he went to the garage to bring his trusty toolbox. There’s a lot you could do for him, actually.
He followed you to your home and you opened your unlocked door. “What d’ya need fixed?” He asked.
“My bed.”
“Oh.” Joel responded, fingers playing with the back of his hair in an awkward gesture.
The simple syllable made you realise how bad this all sounded. Joel instantly imagined you getting pounded in your bed by some other young guy in the town that had eyes only for you, until your bed broke.
“I-It’s not what you think, I assure you. Please, follow me.”
Joel followed you up your creaking stairs to your only bedroom. It was a small house, he thought. He kneeled beside the broken frame while you sat on your mattress that was laying on the floor.
You felt out of your place, with Joel in your bedroom.
You felt out of place when you imagined how he would look kneeled in front of you.
“God, what did you do. I can fix the bed legs for now, but we’ll need new planks of wood for the bottom.”
“W-Wouldn’t you like to know what I did.” You smiled, trying to build some sort of confidence. “I don’t. Rhetoric question.” He said while he fumbled through his toolbox to find what he needed. Truth is, he felt jealousy lighting a fire in his stomach. Who put their dirty hands on you?
His coldness kept you silent for a moment while he was putting your bed legs back on the bottom of the frame.
“I… had a bad nightmare. I get violent in my sleep. This is why I sleep alone, I guess.” You explained, even though he probably didn’t care.
He imagined how soft you’d be in his arms, on his own mattress. He would reassure you so you’d sleep well. He grunted in frustration, hoping you didn’t hear. But you did. And you laughed to hide the fact that you were trying to imagine if he would grunt the same way while you were sucking his dick.
He turned around to look at you, hammer in hand and a nail between his teeth.
“Don’t make me use this hammer for laughing at me.” He finally let go of some of his walls to show some humour. “I’m old, being on my knees is hard.” He said as an excuse.
“I’d never. So… wood? Do we have that?”
“Might have to look around a bit. It’s getting a bit late though, so I can do that for you tomorrow. Sorry.”
“Another night of sleeping on the floor isn’t too bad, I guess.”
You felt dumb when you had wished he would have offered to sleep with him. And he wanted to, so bad. Last time he was this close to a woman was… well, we don’t talk about it.
Your silence filled your bedroom, your eyes lost in his stature. The way his flannel stretched against his back, the way his jeans looked tight on his muscular thighs.
“Ellie’s going out tonight. You can probably use her room.”
“N-No, it’s fine, really.”
It was a bad idea, even though you wanted to.
Maybe he had overstepped.
When he was done fixing your bed legs, he got up with a grunt of pain, and walked to you, sitting beside you on your old mattress. He felt awkward, like he didn’t know how to talk to a woman anymore.
“Thank you.” You finally said as you looked up to him. His chocolate eyes were beautiful, even if the wrinkles around them made him looked tired. Maybe he smiled a lot in another life.
He was so close, you could feel the faint odour of soap, buried in his woodsy smell. You could just lean in and kiss him, just to see what he would feel like.
“So… diner, huh? What about now? And just me? Since Ellie’s going out. ”
“S-Sure!”
You got up first to climb down the stairs to your kitchen. He followed you closely, eyes momentarily looking at the sweet curve of your ass filling your jeans.
“I have some chicken and chicken bones to go through, is a soup okay for you?”
“Sounds good.”
He sat at your wooden table so he could watch while you were starting to work on the broth. It would probably take a while.
“So, you live alone?” He observed.
“Yeah. Don’t have anyone to break my bed with.”
You turned around to look at him with a small smile.
How he wished he was pounding into you hard enough to break all your furniture. He would then fix everything for you just to stay longer.
You saw how he shifted uncomfortably in his seat.
“Don’t get hard, asshole.” He thought.
“My… past partner died before I got here.” You finally said.
He thought of Tess. “Same.”
“M’sorry…” You sat on an empty counter while you were waiting for the broth to be ready. You didn’t dare approach him too much, you feared not being able to resist him. “Guess we’re both extremely lonely. At least, you have your daughter.”
“She’s… adopted. Not my real daughter.”
“I see… Want a taste? And see if it’s up to your standards.” You asked as you took the spoon in hand to fill it with the warm and comforting broth.
Joel got up from his chair and approached you, palms on each side of your thighs as he bent down to taste the soup. It felt intimate, feeding him like that. He could probably hear your heartbeat in your whole body.
“Hmhm. It’s good.” He approved.
The spoon fell from your hands, and he caught it just in time.
“I’m sorry. I just… fuck. You make me nervous.” You laughed.
“I didn’t mean to.” He backed away. “I can leave if you want.” You held on his soft shirt to keep him close.
“Don’t. I might have other things to fix, who knows?”
He laughed, and you swore you saw his cheeks getting redder. You let go of his shirt.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to…”
“It’s okay.”
“Make yourself comfortable, Joel, there’s whiskey in the cupboards and beer in the fridge. I’ll watch over the broth while it boils.”
You got back on your feet, eyes staying on the yellowish liquid warming up on the stove, while your spoon was making small waves in the mixture. You didn’t dare to look at Joel for now. You heard him grab a bottle, 2 glasses and ice.
He put a glass beside you, and you smiled shyly. Joel looked at the bottle, that dated before the outbreak. “Good taste.”
“Thank you.”
**
You both finally sat at the wooden table; it was just big enough for 2 people, you didn’t have many visitors. Your legs were almost touching under the table.
“There’s gonna be a lot left. You can bring some at home. Maybe Ellie will appreciate.”
“Sure. It’s way better than my cooking. Can barely cook some chef Boyardee.”
“Damn. You need a woman in your life.” You laughed. The whiskey had loosened you up a little.
“Yes, I do.”
“So… what was life like before this for you? I was like… 6 when it started. So, I barely remember.”
So, Joel was 30 years older than you. He couldn’t keep flirting with you, he felt so bad about it. But you didn’t care.
He almost choked on his drink. “Fuck, you’re young.”
“Sorry.” You shrugged. “Not like I care.”
“To answer your question… there’s not much I wanna talk about it. Life was good with my sweet Sarah.”
“I’m… sorry.” You paused for a moment. “My parents did their best when it started. But they had to give me up to FEDRA at some point. When I was old enough to make my own decisions, I left with my partner. We were on the road for a while, and it lasted like that for years… Until he got infected, and I had to shoot him. After that, I found Tommy’s group and here I am.”
He admired how you could tell your story very calmly and coldly. To reassure you, he put his palm over your hand and softly pressed around your fingers. His warmth pulled you out of your thoughts.
“I’m sorry you lost people.”
“We all lost people, Joel.”
**
When you two finished eating together, you walked him to his door. Your body only wanted to follow him inside, to share more of his body’s warmth.
“You… sure you don’t want to come in?” He asked awkwardly.
“Yes. I’ll see you tomorrow, Joel. Thank you.” You smiled softly. “After all, I’m too young to sleep at an old man’s house, right?” You added as you rolled your eyes.
You got up on your toes to press a kiss on his rough cheek, before going back to your house without looking back.
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mercurianchild · 3 months
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hey love! what does a Plutonian chart look like? i'm not sure if I have one. how would that affect me?
Strong influence of Pluto…
What a strong Plutonian influence of Pluto in the chart could look like:
Pluto in the 1st, 4th, 7th and 10th house
Pluto aspecting inner planets (Mercury, Venus and Mars)
Pluto strongly aspecting the moon and ascendant, especially tight orbs
TW: mentions of s*x and death!!
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Being Pluto dominant or having a strong influence of Pluto means that transformations, ego deaths, feelings of death and rebirth will accompany you for a life time. From my experience, this will be especially harsh in the childhood, youth and maybe in your early adult years. As time passes and as you get older, you might develop self care habits and safety mechanisms to protect yourself and your inner peace. Practising self love, meditation and mindfulness could be important to these individuals, as they could underestimate their beauty and their outstanding personality.
I’ve also seen that most traumatic events happen in the childhood, youth or early adulthood. But that’s just my observation.
Feelings of being deeply misunderstood rise while you are young and this feeling might follow you for years. Constantly searching for someone to understand your complex mind and depth of emotions. These people could benefit from searching for a valve to turn pain, bad experiences and any form of built up emotion into art. Be it writing, drawing, making music…
A reoccurring theme for Plutonians is sexuality. There may be blockages in regards of the own sexuality or experiencing it, but once they overcome this, they literally start to bloom in that area. This could turn into being hungry for power in general (or simply being turned on by overpowering the partner) or in being lascivious. They can be pretty much extreme and freaky in bed, actually. Being intimate never gets boring with them.
I know, this is what you read everywhere, but plutonic people are deeply magnetic and will catch your eye with their intense aura. Even if they are not seen as traditionally beautiful, these natives exude attractiveness and charisma. You just can’t ignore them and they will even stand out in a crowd. BUT! A lot of them don’t have the sex appeal like (for example) Megan Fox has. A lot of them have such an innocence to their appearance, but if you take a closer look you’ll see that they’re like fallen angels.
From my experience, plutonic people will have a deep connection to spirituality or the occult and a profound interest in psychology (for good and bad). They usually get into these things after really hard times in their life. They will attract jealousy and hate like flies, unfortunately and this could take a toll in their self esteem. Even strangers tend to be very competitive and mean to them in some way, because most people simply feel challenged by their presence.
Dear plutonic people,
you ALL are wonderful and you deserve so much more. I feel for every single one of you and I hope you will find true happiness and self acceptance. You’ve been through so much and you deserve the world for all that. I’m sending you all the love you might need right now or later! 🩶
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viivenn · 1 month
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making an important announcement about some things i’ve noticed in the gwendoline christie fandom that really bug me.
disclaimer: read this at your own convenience and discretion. i am not responsible for any sort of hurt feelings and frankly… i don’t care. if you’re mad about this, you are probably the problem. /lh
to start with id like to begin on a positive note so that i’m not diving into negativity, i don’t want to be completely negative about my experiences because i’ve actually met some of the kindest people in the world through this fan base.
the gwen fandom, the gwandom, the gwendoline christie fandom , the lesbian cesspool, has been an incredible experience that i’m grateful i’ve had the pleasure of being apart of.
i went through a rough patch during november, and if i hadn’t found out about gwen, or met such wonderful people during my time here , i honestly wouldn’t be here right now. i owe my life to these people, gwen included. i will forever adore miss christie and what she stands for alongside the friends i’ve made along the way.
and while i know someday this hyperfix will end, it’s really disheartening to me when a fandom is what makes me grow distant from things i enjoy. it happened before, i feel as though it is happening all over again.
and no, i’m not taking issue with anything like the catrissa stuff or the brienne and larissa ship going around or anything like that. i like that we can all be weird together and enjoy aus like catrissa and crackships like bririssa (not sure the official name that was decided lol). my issue is the amount of content i’ve seen that either focuses on gwen herself, or the strange relationship with minors, or the odd artwork of gwen, and the absolute disgusting behaviour towards giles.
gwen would be absolutely appalled seeing fanfictions of herself that involve nsfw or just her in general, anyone would, it’s disgusting to make works of real people in that setting. it’s like you’re treating them as an original character you can mould and manipulate as you see fit and using someone who is real with thought and feeling and consciousness for smut fics is not okay, or any fic in general. i totally get the hype around her characters, i literally have “brienne’s princess” in my bio and i’ve had “jane murdstone’s bloodbag” (in reference to my vamp au) as a name in a discord server.
but i think the fandom has begun to blur the lines between fictional characters and reality settings when it comes to gwen and the personalities she portrays on the television screen. it’s not fair to her. it’s disgusting. i’ve seen a minor do it, i’ve seen a grown adult do it. it’s something i don’t see shamed and frowned upon often enough and it’s really not okay.
on that note i’d like to quickly mention the photos, we alllll know what photos i’m talking about. the bunny one, the nudes, the ones gwen has expressed regret towards and wishes to not have them spread. was there not a “fan” who brought her a book of her nudes and wanted her to sign it? that person who was blocked on instagram by gwen because they reposted her nudes on their story and tagged her???? how can you refer to yourself as a fan after behaving so abhorrently? absolutely disgusting behaviour. as a collective fandom we need to stop touching those photos (metaphorically speaking) and leave them in the past.
i’ve been told of numerous circumstances in which adults have shown their nsfw works to minors in this fandom and it has to fucking stop. it’s disgusting!! how can you do that knowingly? i constantly ponder terminating my account after a minor got ahold of my nsfw work, and upon realising they WERE a minor it was as simple as blocking and moving on. it’s truly not that hard, folks. and the minors on tiktok who fight with others saying silly things like “that’s my wife” or worse. i’ve seen it all, i feel like, and the more i see it the more sick i become. i cannot stand it.
i have seen and heard of fans who have fat shamed gwen for that one pink dress she wore to the met gala. she looked so happy in that dress, and the audacity one must have to fatshame that poor woman on twitter then turn around and continue to proclaim your ‘love for her’ as if you’d done no wrong? are you fucking serious? are you mental?
and the sexualisation over the porcelain doll look, gods some of you are sick. those were not real breasts, people. considering the fact she wholeheartedly regrets her nude photoshoots , what possesses you to believe she would actually flaunt her chest in that outfit?
the blatant mistreatment of poor giles is not fucking okay either. just because you’re jealous of someone who makes her immensely happy does not give you the right to post something so vile and cruel about him. shame on you. why do you believe this is okay to post:
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????????
are you serious? have any of you stopped to consider how HAPPY giles makes her? or is her happiness the last thing you ponder when you look at her? have you even noticed how unhappy she looks lately? have you truly paused to consider how she would feel about seeing this on your page, random twitter user, or the rest of you who think this is okay? bless your hearts.
and some of the absolutely horrific things i’ve seen about her online and the hurtful behaviour towards giles makes me question the difference between a fan and just the general paparazzi. because if you truly loved her and you truly loved giles then i would not be ranting into the fucking void about it for no reason.
i avoid interacting with pages i find problematic on here to keep from stirring the pot but tonight i chose violence and got reeeeeal pissy about how i felt about this place. it’s not okay what i see on here and it’s getting exhausting seeing the same cycle of content on a daily.
that’s everything i have to say, i think. i probably missed a lot that should be discussed in the comments but i’m done for now because i know if i go on i’ll probably cry.
before you post things about real people with real feelings , stop to consider how they will feel those real feelings towards the content you put out. chances are you’ll become less problematic and obnoxious that way. 💘
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