#but mostly lucie and jesse
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I have to wait two weeks for my copy of Chain of Thorns to arrive, and I don't want to read the ebook version💀 send help.
#i need to know what happens to my babies#lucie and jesse#and Jaime too#but mostly lucie and jesse#chain of thorns#the last hours#cot#tsc
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Ohana.
NCIS Hawaii | 2x01
#ncis hawaii#ncis hawai'i#jane tennant#jesse boone#kai holman#lucy tara#kate whistler#mine#mine: ncis hawaii#just take it#me watching my computer try to crop for 10 minutes and make frames from layers for another 10#times five times just ... my poor old computer lol#but this needed to be done thanks for the ask kaitlyn ❤️#ernie!!! can't forget ernie#ernie malik#sorry i cut out the ncis folks mostly
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i would give somebody my entire savings for a 911 new girl AU
#THINK ABOUT IT#i’m thinking eddie as nick because they’re both grumpy technophobes#buck as jess mostly because HIM AS A TEACHER#chimney and hen and schmidt and winston#maddie as cece#ravi as coach because he seems fed up but ultimately he loves them#i was thinking lucy as reagan but maybe that’s more taylor idk#i’m thinking THOUGHTS#911
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(a "lucy fills their home with things" kacy piece)
Lucy isn’t exaggerating. She travels light.
She brings a few bags of things—clothes, mostly; a few picture frames of faces that Kate recognizes; a sizable shoe collection that forces Kate to weed through her own and finally get rid of a few pairs she’s been holding onto for no reason.
What she doesn’t bring is trinkets.
There’s no novelty mugs, no knickknacks from Lucy’s college years, no potted plants, no paintings or little figurines that Kate was worrying wouldn’t fit on the shelves with her things.
She didn’t need to worry, though. Lucy makes four trips and then stands in the living room with her hands on her hips and a smile on her face. She declares herself moved in and immediately goes to the drawer filled with take out menus; it’s a pho night.
Kate stares in wonderment for a moment. Four trips and that’s it? Her apartment is empty? Not that it would take Kate long to pack up her apartment, really, but it would certainly be more boxes. She’d have to pack the planters, the mugs, the baskets of blankets, the candles, the small collection of books, the stack of games she keeps for the possibility of a game night. It would take Kai and Jesse’s help, at least. But Lucy did it all by herself, up and down the elevator like she was going on a weekend trip, not moving an entire life from one apartment to another.
“I just don’t need a lot,” she tells Kate that night, a sheet pooled around her waist as she lays back on her pillow. “Work, gym, and you. I wasn’t kidding.”
Kate doesn’t need a lot either, but she does have small things. Jane bought her an orchid in a yellow pot that thrives in the living room. She has a few things from Northwestern on a shelf nearby. A stack of books on a side table. Three mugs with silly slogans she got as a gag gift in D.C. that she used to hide in the back of the cupboard before she didn’t care if Lucy saw them. A novelty, oversized fork that hangs by the stove. Just a couple of things that give her apartment a version of a personality without overwhelming things.
Kate ran a finger over the swell of Lucy’s hip and they hadn’t talked about it again.
-
Kate doesn’t notice it at first, rushing in the morning because Lucy rolled across her just before her alarm went off and they got caught up in each other. She needs to start putting her foot down because she’s been nearly late to work too many times since Lucy moved in. But every time she thinks about telling Lucy they can’t, they have no time, Lucy tosses those curls over her shoulder and bats her eyes and smiles that slow smile Kate always gives in to.
So she misses it, sitting on the kitchen counter. She doesn’t see it until later, peeling her silk shirt off with a groan as the fabric sticks to her skin. It was a hot day and she spent too much of it running around. Her texts say that Lucy is finishing up a few notes but she’ll be home soon—home, Kate thinks, smile unconscious—and can Kate please make fettuccine Alfredo if they have the right ingredients? Kate opens and closes the refrigerator and cabinets and they have the basics but she’ll have to go back out to get cream. She fires off a text to have Lucy stop and pick up a few things and finds a wine glass, pouring herself a drink.
When she puts it down on the counter she sees it: a small, golden set of letters, interlocked seamlessly so she can barely tell where one ends and one begins. A K&L so small that she could fit in the center of her palm. It’s tucked next to the coffee maker, inconspicuous. Kate frowns, picking it up and turning it over. She didn’t bring this home, and logically it could have only been Lucy who did, but when did she put it on the counter? Was it here yesterday? Just how unobservant has she been lately?
She holds it for another moment before placing it gently down on the counter where it was. A fingerprint shines on the golden surface but she doesn’t wipe it away. Something about erasing it makes her chest ache with an unknown feelings. She tucks it back a little, tighter to the coffee maker, and makes a note to ask Lucy about it.
Lucy barrels through the front door 10 minutes and half a glass of wine later, already laughing as she launches into whatever Jesse did to Kai today and Kate forgets to ask Lucy where the K&L came from, too caught up in her whirlwind and the bruising kiss she pulls Kate into to remember it.
They don’t have fettuccine Alfredo but Lucy, standing behind her at the kitchen counter as Kate lazily stirs peppers and onions and Lucy presses even lazier kisses to her shoulder, doesn’t seem to mind.
-
Things start appearing.
Kate thinks she might be going crazy, honestly. Every time she looks around, more things pop up. She finds a bonsai tree on the coffee table one night when she gets home from work and Lucy is stretched across the couch, snoring. A new candle is burning on the counter when she gets back from her Saturday morning surfing. A bobble head pops up on Lucy’s nightstand that looks suspiciously like Jesse. Kate blinks and the tissue box in the living room has a strange Dallas Cowboys cover on it that she didn’t realize you could still buy. Then there’s a caricature of the two of them Kate doesn’t remember sitting for tucked onto the wall with all of their degrees. An NCIS mug finds its way into the cupboard and behind it is one with “Aloha Hawai’i” on it.
Kate looks around their apartment and wonders how Lucy keeps sneaking things in without her noticing. Or why she’s sneaking them in the first place.
But she doesn’t mind them. She does thinks the bobble head is creepy and she makes Lucy turn it to face the wall whenever Lucy’s hand snakes across the sheets to Kate’s thigh. But the rest of them, things her mother would probably turn her nose up at, don’t bother her. They’re cute, if a little kitschy. They bring a little life into their home, pops of color that Kate wouldn’t have thought to bring in herself.
Lucy doesn’t say anything about them either. She just keeps adding things: a wooden sign for the bathroom with a giant palm tree on it that takes Kate a week until she decides that no one sees their bathroom because no one visits; a three-candle holder sprayed a deep teal color that Kate thinks looks like the ocean before a storm: a new coffee pod container with a subtle rainbow on it; a small hand-painted pineapple.
Kate just lets these things pile up in their apartment and silently brings Ernie the bobble head after its beady eyes follow her around her bedroom in her towel.
-
“Okay,” Kate finally declares when she comes home to find a small clown figurine on the counter next to the wooden, painted bowl Lucy bought to house their oranges. “We need to talk.”
Lucy looks up from peeling one of those oranges and her brow furrows. “That’s never good.”
Kate frowns before it clears. “Oh, not like that.” She follows her words with her hands curling around Lucy’s waist and pressing a kiss to the top of Lucy’s head. She points to the clown. “About this.”
“You don’t like clowns.”
“I do not like clowns,” she confirms. “But I meant, where are all these things coming from?”
Lucy looks confused. “Where is what coming from?”
Kate sweeps an arm across their apartment and things Lucy has been bringing home. “All of this. The knickknacks. The trinkets. The… clown statue.”
Lucy brightens. “Oh, do you like them? Not the clown, obviously. I will get rid of that. Ernie is strangely afraid of clowns, too.”
“I didn’t say I was afraid. They’re just unnatural,” Kate insists. She shakes her head, getting back on track. “But where are they coming from?”
Lucy shrugs. “Everywhere. Whenever I see something I think you might like, I pick it up. This place was a little… boring. It needed some personality.”
Kate frowns. “It wasn’t boring. I just... wasn’t here a lot.” She leans one hip against the counter. “So you were just going to fill our place with ‘personality’ until we suffocate under screen-printed blankets and dog statues?”
“Well, you never said anything about them.”
“Neither did you.”
Lucy shrugs again. “I figured you’d say something if you didn’t like them.”
Kate softens. She tucks some of Lucy’s hair behind her ear. “I like them. Most of them,” she amends. “The sign in the bathroom is not my favorite. But the rest of them, I like,” she rushes to add. “I just didn’t think you were someone who liked those things. I mean, you literally brought nothing but clothes and shoes when you moved in.”
Lucy abandons the orange, turning until her stance mirrors Kate’s. She looks thoughtful as her gaze slides towards the open balcony doors. “My house growing up was… spartan. Not that it was empty, but we were doing the minimalist thing before it was cool. And so I never had these things. The knickknacks, you know?” She meets Kate’s eyes. “I told myself that when I had a home, I’d do the opposite. I’d get all the weird little things I saw, that I liked. And I’d buy them and fill a whole place with them.”
Something softens even more in Kate’s chest. It melts, warm and slow, through her body. She smiles softly, hands reaching for Lucy’s waist and curling in her shirt. “So you bought them now.”
“I have a home now,” Lucy says simply. “I didn’t before.”
Kate tugs Lucy forward a few inches until their hips press together. Her forehead drops to Lucy’s. “I love them. Well, except—“
“The clown and the bathroom sign,” Lucy finishes. Her lips twitch in a smile. “Noted.” She presses up on her toes, their lips brushing. “What about a different bathroom sign?”
“How about no bathroom sign?” Kate counters. She presses their lips together with more purpose. “And a no bobble head rule.”
Lucy laughs softly. “I’ll cancel my order, then. It’s a shame. You would have been a cute bobble head.” She unwinds from Kate’s grip, picks up an orange slice, and crosses the apartment, grinning.
“That’s not funny, Lucy.” Kate frowns when Lucy only smiles wider. “That was Jesse,” she accuses. “I knew it! Lucy, that was so creepy!”
Lucy laughs and pops an orange slice into her mouth. “I was going to fill the apartment with the team until you said something,” she admits. “But I guess they can go in Ernie’s lair.”
Kate rolls her eyes as Lucy disappears into the bedroom. She looks around the apartment—at the K&L by the coffee maker, the Cowboys tissue box, the half-filled “Aloha Hawai’i” mug, the coffee pod container, the collection of candles growing at the unused end of the counter. All little things Lucy picked up, picked out for them.
Trinkets, knickknacks, souvenirs, baubles—it would take Lucy more than four trips to move out now. And Kate agrees, it makes it look like a home in her with all these things, these novelties handpicked by the woman she loves.
Lucy hums from the bedroom and Kate smiles to herself before she catches sight of the clown figurine. Her smile twists into disgust and she picks it up, opening the trash can and dropping it in. Some of these things she can live without.
Lucy, not so much.
#kacy#ncis: hawai'i#kate whistler#lucy tara#possessed by this idea at 7am this morning#opened the notes app and looked up an hour later to find this was written#of course lucy is still a nomad but eventually she might get there#lucy tara when will you return from the war?#okay byeeeee
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LIST OF FANDOMS I WILL/WON’T WRITE FOR
What fandoms I will write for;
-Lego Monkie Kid
-One Piece
-One Punch Man
-Assassination Classroom (limited characters)
-COD (call of duty, any game)
-ATSV (across the spiderverse)
-TADC (the amazing digital circus)
-Underverse/undetale AUs
-Br0kenColors
What fandoms i won’t write for;
-Genshin Impact/Honkai impact
-Seven Deadly Sins
-Obey Me/Obey Me nightbringer
-FNF (Friday night funkin)
-MHA (my hero academia)
-Hazbin Hotel/Helluva boss
-other fandoms that have problematic backgrounds
WHAT I WILL WRITE!!!
-platonic
-light angst
-fluff
-slightly suggestive content (will have a warning)
-smut content (will have a warning)
-childhood romance (no smut.)
-teen romance (no smut.)
-Reader x character
-character x character (very rarely)
-character x Reader x character
-polycules
-T4T (trans for trans relationships)
-F4F (femme for femme relationship)
-M4M (masc for masc relationship)
-F4TF (femme for trans femme)
-F4TM (femme for trans masc)
-F4TNB (femme for trans non binary)
-F4A (femme for any)
-M4TF (masc for trans femme)
-M4TM (masc for trans masc)
-M4TNB (masc for trans non binary)
-M4A (masc for any)
-LGBTQ content
-Yandere Content (not extreme)
WHAT I WILL NOT WRITE!!!
-r@pe/noncon/dubcon
-cnc (consensual non-consent)
-child x adult
-abusive scenarios
-anything to do with children involved in anything sexual
-racism
-ableism
-unsanitary fetishes (i.e. scat, wound f*cking, etc)
-severe angst
-s*icide & s*lf h*rn
Characters I’ll write for in each fandom
BR0KENCOLORS
—characters so far—
Stalker/Damon (usually Poly)
Deliver Guy/DG (usually Poly)
Rasmus
Angel
Shadowman (not much I for abt them, some nsfw - demisexual)
Gunther
Leevi
—characters not in game yet but I will write—
Ace (some nsfw - demisexual)
Catherine
Milkman
Milla (no nsfw)
Salvador (some nsfw - demisexual)
Mimic
Pearl
Venni
LEGO MONKIE KID
- MK (Qi Xioatian)
-Mei Dragon
-Redson
-Sun Wukong
-Six Eared Macaque
-Ao Lie
-Lady Bone Demon
-The Mayor
-Yin & Jin
-Princess Iron Fan (Poly)
-Demon Bull King (Poly)
-Tang
-Pigsy (platonic)
-Sandy (platonic)
-Nezha (platonic)
-Bai He (platonic)
ONE PIECE
- Monkey D. Luffy
-Vinsmoke Sanji
-Roronora Zoro
-Usopp
-Nico Robin
-Franky
-Chopper (platonic)
-Nami
-Jinbei
-Donquixte Doflamingo
-Donquixte Rosiante
-Bartolomeo Kuma
-Boa Hancock
-Dracule Mihawk
-Crocodile
-Shanks
-Rayleigh
-Portgaz D. Ace
-Marco
-Thatch
-Izou
-Edward Newgate, Whitebeard (platonic)
-Eustass Kidd
-Jewelry Bonney
-Killer
-Monkey D. Harp
-Monkey D. Dragon
-Sabo
-Trafalgar Law
-Buggy
-Smoker
-Rob Luci
-Eneru
-Kalifa
-Yamato
-Perona
-Shaci
-Penguin
-Bepo (platonic)
-Akainu
-Kizaru
-Borsalino
ONE PUNCH MAN
-Saitama
-Genos
-Garou
-King
-Child Emporer (platonic)
-Metal Bat
-Speed O’ Sound Sonic
-Mumen Rider
-Watchdog Man (mostly platonic)
-Fubuki
-Atomic Samurai
-Lord Boros
-Bang
-Zombieman
-Flashy Flash
-Sweet Mask
-Charanko
ASSASSINATION CLASSROOM
(Any students such as Nagisa or Karma are platonic)
-Koro-Sensei
-Tadaomi Karasuma
-Irina Jelavic
COD - CALL OF DUTY
-Simon “Ghost” Riley
-John “Soap” MacTavish
-John “Captain” Price
-Horangi (Hong-Jin)
-König
-Nikolai
-Valeria Garza/El Sin Nombre (F4F/NB/AFAB)
-Alejandro Vargas
-Phillip Graves
-Farah Karim
-Kyle “Gaz” Garrick
-Kate Laswell (F4F)
-Gary “Roach” Sanderson
ATSV - ACROSS THE SPIDERVERSE
-Miles Morales (platonic/fluff)
-Gwen Stacy (Platonic/Fluff)
-Pavitr Prabhakar (platonic/fluff)
-Prowler Miles (platonic/fuff)
-Peter B. Parker
-Jess Drew
-Miguel O’Hara
-Hobie Brown
TADC - THE AMAZING DIGITAL CIRCUS
-Pomni
-Jax
-Zooble
-Kaufmo
-Ragatha
-Gangle
-Caine
-Kinger
UNDERVERSE / UNDERTALE AUS
-Ink!Sans (platonic)
-Classic!Sans
-Nightmare!Sans
-Dream!Sans
-Swap!Sans
-Fell!Sans
-Killer!Sans
-Dust!Sans
-Horror!Sans
-Murder Time Trio (Killer!Sans, Dust!Sans, Horror!sans)
-Error!Sans
-AT!Sans (Geno)
-Fatal Error
-X!Sans (Cross)
-Outer!Sans
-Reaper!Sans
-Fresh!Sans
IF YOU DID NOT SEE ANY CHARACTERS OF INTEREST AND YOU’D LIKE ME TO WRITE PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!!
please as well reread the will/won’t write section if you’re feeling unsure!
#what i will write#writing#fandom#fandom writing#multiple fandoms#writing requests#request page#request#lmk#cod mw2#assassination classroom#one punch man#one piece#across the spiderverse#the amazing digital circus#underverse#undertale au#this took way too long
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A little something different!
I used to be a TOTAL bookworm as a kid, then sort of lost it for a decade or so, then in about 2016/17 I decided to start reading more (& also moved closer to a library & got in the habit of using it).
Fast forward 7ish years and I'm back in the habit of reading & am devouring stacks of books per year, with 2023 being my most ridiculous one yet. I somehow ended up reading 120 books? Mostly because I'm terrible at managing my library holds list & kept getting stacks of books I really wanted to read (I'm also lucky to be a really fast reader, which helps).
Anyways! All that to say - I compiled a top 22 + 19ish honourable mentions, as seen below:
My Top 22:
Tear – Erica Mckeen
Our Wives Under The Sea – Julia Armfield
The Vaster Wilds – Lauren Groff
Paladin’s Strength – T. Kingfisher
Paladin’s Grace – T. Kingfisher
Great Circle – Maggie Shipstead
Between Two Fires – Christopher Buehlman
Sisters – Daisy Johnson
How High We Go In The Dark – Sequoia Nagamatsu
Moon Of The Turning Leaves – Waubgeshig Rice
The Memory Police – Yoko Ogawa
The Night Ship – Jess Kidd
The Conjoined – Jen Sookfong Lee
The Lighthouse Keeper’s Daughter – Hazel Gaynor
If An Egyptian Cannot Speak English – Noor Naga
The Annual Migration Of Clouds – Premee Mohamed
Wandering Souls – Cecile Pin
The Only Good Indians – Stephen Graham Jones
Lone Women – Victor Lavalle
Ring Shout – P. Djèlí Clark
Lucy – Jamaica Kincaid
The Bookshop Of Yesterdays – Amy Meyerson
Honourable Mentions:
The Marigold – Andrew F. Sullivan
Five Little Indians – Michelle Good
Swordheart – T. Kingfisher…and all the other books of hers (9 of them in total) I read this year!
Even Though I Knew The End – C.L. Polk
Everything Under – Daisy Johnson
Fen – Daisy Johnson
The Animals In That Country – Laura Jean Mckay
A Prayer For The Crown-Shy – Becky Chambers
The Sea Captain’s Wife – Beth Powning
Hester – Laurie Lico Albanese
Tauhou – Kotuku Titihuia Nuttall
Ducks – Kate Beaton
You Made A Fool Of Death With Your Beauty – Akwaeke Emezi
The Hatbox Letters – Beth Powning
And Then She Fell – Alicia Elliot
The Adult – Bronwyn Fischer
Everyone Knows Your Mother Is A Witch – Rivka Galchen
Lute – Jennifer Thorne
Monster – Mariel Ashlinn Kelly
Elly Griffiths’ Ruth Galloway Series (I read 8 books from this series this yr & loved all of them!)
If you want to go through my entire list for 2023, you can read it on my website!
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Lavender - Ch. 18
A night out at the speakeasy leads to an unexpected connection. A continuation of Lavender Ch. 1-17 found on Tumblr here.
Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader (broken up), Tommy Miller x Female Reader
Warnings: SMUT :D unprotected p in v sex (wrap it up!) and Tommy being an absolute flirt. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI, 18+ only!
Length: 4.8 k
Saturday, May 15, 2010 - Six Months Later
“I need more than a drink,” Lucy put her head on the front desk of the clinic with a groan. “I need at least 2. Probably five.”
“I think they have that,” Andrew said, smiling a little. “Pretty much the whole draw.”
“That one guy was such a dick,” she propped her chin on her fist. “Why did I decide to become a nurse again? Why did I think this was a good idea?”
“Because you made career choices before the world ended and then stuck it out?” You said, sitting on top of the desk behind the counter.
“Yeah being a nurse wasn’t exactly a walk in the park then, either,” she grumbled. “This is my problem, I’m basically an addict, I get one REALLY GOOD patient and then I act like that fixes alllllll the assholes…”
“Sounds like dating men,” Marta joined your little group from the exam area. “Lee is finishing up with the final patient and then we’re free. We’re so close, guys. So close I can taste it.” Marta glanced over at you and groaned. “Aw, Doc, you got changed? You look all cute and shit? That’s not fair!”
“Hey,” you replied. “I have nowhere else to wear the cute dress. You have dates. I have speakeasy night with my coworkers, just give me this.”
“You could have dates too, if you wanted,” Jess was perched on the other side of the horseshoe shaped desk, Andrew squarely between you in his office chair. Her feet were in his lap. “All you’d have to do is just say yes to one of the guys who talks to you or actually ask someone out.”
“Yes but why should I when I have you lovely people, all our patients and Petri dishes in the lab to keep me company?” You smiled. Andrew and Jess shared a brief look. You tried to not roll your eyes. Mostly because they’d given you a lot of leeway in the past almost year since you and Joel had split up. Especially when you got back from your trip outside the QZ.
You hadn’t even bothered to go home that night. You walked straight to Andrew and Jess’ place, knocking on the door and trying to not cry until you were inside. Andrew was the one to answer and you fell into him, burying your face in his chest as it felt like you were cracking open with the pain of it.
“You were right,” you choked out as he pulled you inside. “About what he did out there, you were right…”
“Oh, honey,” he wrapped his arms around you the best he could with the backpack in the way, kissing the top of your head before tucking you below his chin. “I’m so sorry. I wish I was wrong. I really do.”
You slept there that night, Andrew sandwiched between you and Jess, other people and the safety that came with them the only thing that let you rest.
You’d managed to avoid Joel since you’d returned. It had been half a year since you last saw him that night at the QZ fence. There were signs of him, though. He was usually on your mind somehow, not that you were happy about it.
A few weeks after the trip, you passed Tess on your way to look for a few more books and CDs at the underground sellers’ shops. She didn’t notice you but you noticed her. It looked like she’d gotten into a fight, she had a black eye and gash at her throat. You frowned.
“Tess?” You changed direction to follow her. “Tess!”
She turned and looked surprised that you’d talk to her for a moment before meeting you in the middle.
“Doc,” she looked you up and down. She had a tendency to do that, you noticed. She liked to evaluate things. Like she thought you might have changed since she last saw you. “Good to see you.”
“You too,” you smiled. “Look, I’m happy I ran into you, I’ve been thinking…” You glanced around and tugged her off to the side of the road. “You and Tommy and… everyone, you’re still making runs, right?”
“Not taking you out there again,” she shook her head. “Joel was pretty firm on that…”
“No, that’s fine,” you waved her off. “I just… You know that saying ‘an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure?’”
“Sure,” she shrugged.
“Well there’s only so much I can do for you if you guys come back already hurt, down a lot of blood, all that jazz,” you said. “But if I gave you some basic trauma supplies, showed you how to use them…”
“You’d do that,” she said it more than asked it.
“Of course,” you frowned. “Why wouldn’t I?” She didn’t say anything else, so you just pressed on. “Could you plan to come by my apartment sometime this week, late? I can put together some kits, show you what to do for common injuries…”
“Wednesday?” She asked.
“After 10:30,” you said. “Should give me time to get home from the clinic.”
You were surprised to learn that you actually kind of liked Tess. She showed up to your apartment not long after you did. Wednesday had been a rough one and your shirt was still bloody, deciding to prioritize getting the blood out of your hairline instead of changing your clothes.
“Doc,” she said by way of greeting, her eyes drifting to the blood on your shirt and back up to your face, strand of bloody hair still in your fingers.
“Sorry,” you said, giving an apologetic smile. “Had to do a field amputation today without anesthesia, it was a mess… I’m making tea, want a cup?”
“I’ll take tea,” she said, coming in and sitting at the table. You got your still bloody hair out of the way and quickly pulled the shirt off before grabbing a t-shirt out of the drawer and pulling it on.
“Sorry,” you smiled apologetically again. “I just really needed to get at least some of that blood off me…”
You put the tea on the table and grabbed the kit you put together, giving Tess a crash course in trauma stabilization 101.
“So were you a military doctor when this shit started?” She asked after you packed the supplies back up.
“Oh God no,” you laughed. “No, I was a biology teacher. I was finishing up a pre-med degree though, and I’d always wanted to be a doctor so I was just reading everything I could find to get a jump on med school. I got here, they were setting up medical facilities with all of one doctor so he trained me.”
“And how’d you meet Joel?” She was sitting back in he chair, watching you. His name made your stomach clench.
“You could ask him,” you said, looking at the almost empty tea cup.
She scoffed.
“You are an off limits topic,” she said. “For both Miller men, as it happens. Joel doesn’t answer, Tommy says it’s not his shit to say. Joel got back from the trip with you, said nothing for three days and then pretended that nothing happened.”
You nodded slowly.
“And you don’t like not knowing,” you said. She smiled.
“Exactly.”
You signed, fidgeting with the mug.
“I met Joel in 1999,” you said. Her eyes went wide. “It’s why they called me Kid, I was just 20 back then, still in college.”
“Jesus, you were a kid. He still a grumpy asshole then?” She laughed. You laughed back.
“Very rarely,” you said. “Punched Tommy in the face at a bar once because Joel was being an asshole and Tommy called him on it. Though I made him watch ‘When Harry Met Sally’ and he actually liked it. Tried so hard not to laugh at the fake orgasm scene he choked on his beer.”
She laughed at that. She told you about some of her life before, too. Spending summer on a lake with her husband and son, a mishap when renovating their basement that left a giant splotch of paint over the new linoleum that they’d never been able to properly clean up. You got both of you beer.
“I was never sure who the outbreak was worse for,” she said. “People like me who had a life going that got ripped away or people like you who never really had a fucking chance at one.”
“We all got screwed,” you said. “Sometimes I think we all died back then, everyone who’s left is just a ghost of what they would have been otherwise.”
“And you still wear ribbons on your braids,” she nodded to your hair. You glanced down, the blue ribbon splotched purple where the blood had splattered it. You smiled a little.
“There are very few things that make life worth it anymore,” you said after a moment. “And life is too short to not wear the damn ribbons.”
You knew they were using the trauma kit supplies. Tess would show up every six weeks or so, asking for a resupply. She’d even asked for a new euthanasia kit once. You almost had a panic attack before she had the chance to tell you that it wasn’t Joel or Tommy, just a traveler they’d run into who couldn’t bring themselves to turn their gun on themselves. But you hadn’t needed to come pull a bullet out of any of them again, so you were counting their trips as a success.
“Alright kids,” Lee came out from the exam area, lab coat still on. “We are all set, they’re getting dressed and then we are out of here!”
“I’m going for the jukebox as soon as we get there,” Marta said. “No one try to stop me!”
“Oh God,” Andrew groaned. “You’re going to make us listen to the Backstreet Boys all night aren’t you?”
“Think they’re still alive out there?” She asked. “Just performing for some QZ on the west coast?”
“Imagine if they’re infected,” Jess said. “You’re just walking down the street and then bam, attacked by a Backstreet Boy…”
“This,” Andrew looked up at her. “This is why I love you.”
Walking to the Speakeasy with everyone reminded you a little of college. It helped that you were wearing a sundress like you’d worn so much in Texas. It helped that the weather was warm and the sky was clear. Mostly, it helped that there were people laughing. You weren’t sure if your memory was just selective but it seemed like people just didn’t laugh anymore.
There were some tables in the corner of the speakeasy that were open and you pushed them together, sitting down with your back against one of the walls. It just felt better that way.
“Beer?” Andrew looked to Jess. She nodded and he turned to you. “Beer?”
“I’m thinking a 1996 left bank Bordeaux, something with some good body to it,” you said, thinking.
“Yeah, so beer?” He smiled.
“Yes please,” you smiled back.
“I only put on two songs,” Marta sat beside you. “So, Andrew, Mr. ‘If it’s not rock and roll it’s not music,’ will only have to suffer for so long.”
“And if only we could get him to suffer in silence,” Jess mused.
You laughed and Andrew brought beer and you sat drinking with your friends, forgetting for a minute that it was the end of the world.
“Doc?”
You turned to see a slightly familiar face. You frowned for a moment, trying to place him when it clicked.
“Oh my gosh, Tim?” You asked. He smiled, nodding. “Holy cow, you’re so… adult!”
He laughed. He was a student from your first year as a teacher in the QZ, finishing high school in 2007. You hadn’t seen him since.
“Yeah, I’m 21 now,” he smiled proudly. “Doesn’t really matter much now but still, cool to say.”
Bitter Sweet Symphony started playing and he held out his hand.
“Wanna dance?” He asked. “I think the statute of limitations of you as my teacher are up.”
“Fuck it,” you shook your head. “Why not?”
“Yeah!” Marta whooped. “Getting Doc on the dance floor!”
You flipped her off and she laughed as you followed behind him.
Tim, you were happy to know, was doing alright for himself. He had a girlfriend he was crazy about. He was stuck working for FEDRA, of course, but he was doing some engineering work.
“All because you made me interested in science,” he said, one hand at your waist, the other in yours. “So, thanks for that.”
“You’d have gotten there eventually without me,” you smiled. “But I’ll take some credit for your success.”
The song changed to something you didn’t recognize, something fun and upbeat. His face brightened.
“Mind if I spin you?” He asked. “Always wanted to try that.”
“I am in the dress for it,” you smiled a little. “Go for it, kid.”
He clumsily twirled you under his arm until his fingers slipped out of yours and sent you spinning across the dance floor. You were laughing so hard you couldn’t breathe and he took your hand again just as you saw Joel, watching you from across the bar.
Your laughter died and your breath caught in your throat. Seeing him was like seeing a ghost. It took you a moment to understand why but then you realized it. Since November, you’d thought of the Joel you knew as though he were dead. He’d died with Sarah, back in September, 2003. He’d never made it to Boston.
You’d mourned him in a way. You’d put the few clothes he’d left at your place into the floorboards with your stash - those weren’t his, after all - but left the picture of him, Sarah and you on your nightstand. That Joel wasn’t a killer. That Joel hadn’t blamed you for it. You’d taken to charging your old cell phone, reading back through texts with him and with Sarah that were still stored there every night before you fell asleep. There was a voicemail, too, one from a week before you visited the last time.
“Hey Baby,” he’d said. “Think I fucked up the time difference again, must still be out with Louisa… Anyway, missin’ ya. Call me when you’re home safe. Love you.”
That Joel was dead and the man he’d become was staring daggers at you.
“Doc?” Tim said.
“Mind if I cut in?” Andrew said.
“Good to see you, Tim,” you managed to turn and smile at him. “Glad to know you’re doing well.”
“Take care, Doc,” he smiled, leaving you with Andrew. He pulled you into his arms and put his mouth near your ear.
“Here’s what we’re gonna do,” he said quietly, holding you tightly to him so you had no choice but to sway with him. “We’re going to stay out here for this song and we’re going to have a great time. And then we’re going to go back to the table and drink the beers that Jess is getting us right now.”
“I just…”
“Nope,” he cut you off. “We’re not doing that, we’re not going to run away because that fucker showed up. We’re going to stay here and we’re going to have fun in spite of his ass. Got it?”
You just nodded.
“Good.”
You weren’t paying attention to the music, the feeling of Joel’s eyes on you drowning out almost everything else, Andrew’s hands on you seeming like the only thing tethering you to the earth. You let him guide you back to the table, a fresh beer sitting in front of your seat.
“Hey Doc!” Jess said brightly. “So an amnesiac walks into a bar. He goes up to a beautiful blonde and says ‘so… do I come here often?’”
It took you a second and then you laughed, the spell of Joel’s eyes on you snapping. And life continued on. Until a Texas drawl appeared over your shoulder.
“Scuse me.” Andrew’s eyes narrowed as you looked behind you, Tommy standing there. “I was really hoping I could get you onto the dance floor.”
“Me,” you said, incredulous.
“Well I try to make a habit of getting the prettiest girl at the bar to give me the time of day,” he smiled. “So I’m just hopin’ you’ll cut me a break for old time’s sake.”
“Look,” Andrew said, but you cut him off.
“Why not,” you said. He smiled - that fucking Miller man smile - and offered you his hand. You took it and he pulled you to your feet and toward the dance floor. Linger was playing. He put his hands at your waist and your arms went around his neck, swaying in time.
“So Kid,” he smiled. “How’ve you been?”
“Good,” you said cautiously. You could feel Joel’s eyes on you.
“I feel like you’re doubtin’ my good intentions,” he said.
“If Joel sent you to talk to me, you can tell him to fuck off,” you said.
“That asshole?” He scoffed. “He about ripped my arm off when I said I was going to ask you to dance, he doesn’t want me doin’ this. You think that’s the only reason I’d come talk to you?”
“Maybe not the only reason,” you smiled a little.
“Wasn’t joking about gettin’ the prettiest girl at the bar to give me the time of day,” he smiled back. “Got news for you, any bar you’re in? That’s you. I just have to talk you into it now.”
You rolled your eyes and shook your head a little, smiling anyway.
“You’re still such a player, aren’t you?” You teased.
“Nah, just a charmer,” he said.
“How’ve you been?” You asked.
“Well as can be expected,” he shrugged. “Roommate’s a dick but…”
You snorted and he smiled broader.
“I told him he was a fuckin’ asshole for what he did to you, you know,” he said after a moment, face turning serious. “He was also a fuckin’ dumbass but he’s always been a dumbass. It’s the asshole shit I can’t stand.”
“Let me know if the message ever sinks in,” you said wryly.
“That’ll be the day,” he scoffed.
The song shifted, something soft and slow. He tugged you closer and your cheek leaned into his chest. You danced quietly for a bit.
“I wanted to ask you out, back in the day,” he said eventually, his lips close to your ear.
“Really?” You glanced up at him, not wanting to move your head.
“Joel told me you were ‘off limits,’” he laughed a little. “Course I didn’t know that was because he wanted ya but…”
“Damn,” you joked. “Dibs really put you off, huh?”
“If I’d known it was just dibs it wouldn’t have,” he replied.
The song changed to Black Magic Woman and he stepped back from you a bit.
“Now, see, I might have had some ulterior motives,” he smiled sheepishly. “May have put this on the jukebox in hopes I could get you to dance to it with me…”
“I don’t know how to dance to this,” you laughed, moving to head back to your seat, hand still in his. He caught you and pulled you back against him.
“I do,” his hand went to the small of your back, pressing your hips against his. You swallowed. “Just gotta follow my lead, pretty girl.”
He took the lead, his hips pushing against yours, moving in sharp rhythm. You could feel him through his jeans. His legs nudged yours in the right steps, your breasts flush against him. His eyes traced your face, lingering on your lips.
The song felt too short, the two of you coming to a stop in the middle of the dance floor, bodies still close together.
“How ‘bout a drink?” He smiled.
“Sure,” you smiled back. He laced his fingers with yours and led you to the bar, just catching a glimpse of Joel standing up and storming off as you did.
Tommy joined the table with your coworkers, pulling up a chair close to yours, one hand on the small of your back. Marta asked how you knew each other and immediately latched on to the “we’ve been friends for 11 years” thing to get stories out of him like the time he tried to teach you to grill and you accidentally set the thing on fire and seriously considered pushing it into the pool to put it out.
“We’re gonna head out,” Andrew said before he leaned in to kiss your cheek goodbye, whispering in your ear as he did. “You OK?”
You just nodded and he left with Jess. You realized then that they were the last of the party to leave.
“One more drink,” Tommy smiled. “Just you and me.”
“Well if you’re going to twist my arm about it,” you smiled back.
The bar was emptying out, just a few stragglers left on the dance floor. Tommy got you both a whiskey on the rocks, sitting next to you in a booth, putting his arm around your shoulders. You propped your feet on the chair across the table from you and leaned your head on his chest, swirling the whiskey in your chipped glass. The ice clinked.
“Missed seein’ you,” he said after a minute, taking a drink. “You always just… Made shit better. It’s all brighter with you.”
“You’re sweet,” you smiled a little, taking a drink. “And I’ve missed seeing you, too.”
Closing Time came on and Tommy laughed.
“We can take a hint!” He yelled over your head before finishing his drink. “We’re goin, we’re goin.”
You laughed, polishing yours off, too, before getting up. You could just barely feel the alcohol in your head, far from drunk and just on the edge of tipsy.
“C’mon,” he said. “I’ll walk you home.”
“You know, I walk home on my own late at night most days,” you said, following him out of the bar, anyway. “Always ends up fine.”
“Humor me,” he smiled, holding out his hand. You smiled back, taking it. He tugged you close to him, setting an easy pace.
You talked about random things you missed about Austin, laughing when you mentioned your favorite second hand clothing shop downtown near campus.
“Isn’t that just shopping now?” He teased.
“Oh you know it’s not the same,” you laughed. “I got this great dress there once from the 70s. I think I only wore it once, to a wedding, but damn did it make my boobs look fantastic. One of life’s great regrets is the fact that it’s rotting away in my closet in New York.”
“Damn,” he shook his head. “Now one of my great regrets is not seeing that dress…”
You laughed, stopping at the door to your building.
“This is me,” you half smiled.
“How about I walk you up?” He asked. You raised your eyebrows. “I know I know, but how often do you walk home from the clinic with a few drinks in you?”
“I’ve treated you, do you want to know the answer to that question?” You teased. He laughed.
“Well those times, I wouldn’t have to feel guilty if somethin’ happened to ya,” he said. “Let me walk you up.”
“If that’s what will help you live the dream, Miller, far be it from me to stop you.”
You opened the communal door and led the way upstairs, stopping by your apartment.
“See?” You teased, after unlocking your door but leaving it closed and turning to face him. “So eventful.”
He leaned his arm against the door frame, caging you in on one side. His eyes dropped to your lips before going back to your eyes.
“Still think you’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen,” he said quietly, his free hand delicately lifting your chin toward him.
“Tommy,” you breathed. His hand slipped from your chin to the back of your head, his thumb still along your cheek.
“Want me to stop?” He asked, moving closer.
You swallowed.
“No,” you said.
“Good,” he said. “Neither do I.”
He kissed you then. Soft, gentle, his lips parting just enough that you could taste the whiskey on his breath. He leaned his body into yours, the hips that had been moving with yours on the dance floor pressing into you a different way now. A familiar ache sparked low in your stomach as you reached up to wrap your arms around his neck.
You weren’t sure how long he kissed you, but after a moment, he pulled back, a little breathless.
“Why don’t we go inside?” He said softly.
“Yeah,” you nodded, opening the door behind you.
Things moved a lot faster then. His hands slid the straps of your dress down your arms before your door was fully closed. He reached to lock it while you fumbled with the buckle of his belt. His lips were on yours, his tongue slipping into your mouth, his hands ranging over every inch of skin they could reach before sliding your dress down to pool on the floor. You pulled at the buttons of his shirt until you were able to shove it off and he quickly unclipped your bra. He looked down at your bare chest, panting for breath a little.
“Damn,” he said. “Don’t regret not seein’ the dress anymore. This is so much fuckin’ better.”
He stepped out of his boots quickly and you unbutton and unzipped his pants. You kicked off your sandals and he tugged your panties down, leaving them on the floor as you pulled him against you toward your bed. He paused, your legs against the bed, his hands holding you gently.
“You sure you’re good with this?” He asked.
“Just kiss me, Miller,” you said. He wasted no time obliging.
You pulled him onto your bed with you, his weight settling easily between your thighs. He slid a hand down your body to your pussy, softly tracing your clit for a moment before pressing his fingers against you, working you in slow, longing circles. You moaned against his mouth, rocking your hips against his hand. You felt him smile against your lips.
Tommy slipped a thick finger inside you, exploring you, the tip brushing your inner walls until he found the spot that made your toes curl. He added another finger, working both of them against the place inside you, adding his thumb to your clit until your back arched and you came with a loud moan around him.
“Fuck, gorgeous,” he pressed his lips to your collar bone. “Gonna need you to do that again while I’m inside you… you’ve got me fuckin’ desperate for it…”
“Then get inside me,” you panted, reaching between your bodies to take his cock in your hand. He was thick, hard, not so long that you were worried about whether or not he would fit but long enough that you knew he would fill you. You worked him up and down, spreading the wetness from his tip over him.
“Tryin’ to kill me, I swear,” he said, slipping his fingers from inside you to himself, brushing your hand away. He lined himself up with your entrance, pressed his lips to yours and thrust into you.
The stretch was immediate, a sharp but pleasant burn as he sank into you. He moaned against your lips and you rocked your hips against him, making his movements stutter.
“You trying to make me cum before I’m even inside you?” He gasped. “Fucking hell, girl.”
He thrust the rest of the way inside you in one quick, hard motion, making your back arch, pulling a delicious moan from your lips. His arm slipped below you, pulling your torso flush with his as he began to fuck into you, his thick cock sliding out to just the tip before thrusting back against your back wall with every stroke. You clung to him as his lips found your throat, your breasts, his hard length moving faster, more forcefully every time. The tip of him was hitting the spot inside you with every movement, your second orgasm building fast.
“Fuck, I’m going to…” you managed. He thrust harder, your sentence ending in a strangled cry.
“Won’t last when you do,” he gasped. “Where can I…”
“I’m on the pill,” you said quickly.
“Thank fuck.”
He picked up the pace, holding himself deep inside you every few strokes, your body tightening and coiling around him until you felt the taught band of pleasure snap, your core pulsing around him.
“Oh fuck, oh fuck…” he groaned, thrusting two more times before collapsing on top of you, both of you limp and gasping for breath.
He pressed his lips to your throat, still deep inside you, and you saw the picture frame with Joel and Sarah on your nightstand out of the corner of your eye. While he was distracted, you reached up and silently set it face down before wrapping your arms around the man in your bed.
A/N: THAT'S RIGHT GUYS SHE'S GETTING WITH BOTH BROTHERS AND JOEL FUCKING HATES IT. This has been building since literally day one of this story lol. Tommy has had a crush on her FOREVER and now it's finally paying off - for him and for us (because we get the drama of it)
I have a taglist, so if you'd like to be included, just comment below! Thank you so so much for reading and following along. I hope you enjoy the drama and the angst! Love you all!
Taglist: @paleidiot @ayamenimthiriel @ginger-swag-rapunzel @drewharrisonwriter @flugazi @pedropascalsbbg @taoyuji @starstruckmusiciansartghost @splendsay @bigboiseason123 @jpbplvr @ashleyandring @mrsyixingunicorn10
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The One That Got Away - Chapter Eight
Warnings: discussion of injuries, Dean is still high on morphine and trying to flirt, angst, arguments, language.
Word Count: 1.7k
Pairing: Firefighter!Dean Winchester x Female Reader
A/N: I didn’t have a beta for this, so all mistakes are mine.
You can catch up here!
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“What’s the damage, Princess?” Dean asked.
“Not much, thankfully. You were incredibly lucky,” Y/N smiled as she took a little pen light from her scrubs pocket and checked the dilation of his pupils. “Everything else looks good. It’s mostly superficial injuries with cuts and bruises, except those broken ribs. Your vitals are stable and where they should be, and the medication is managing your pain well. So far, there’s no sign of a concussion or brain or spinal injury.
“The crackle in your lungs should clear with oxygen in a day or two, and your scratchy throat will ease with plenty of fluids. Ribs should heal in three to four weeks if you take it easy, six to eight if you’re anything like I remember and don’t,” she smiled knowingly at the Winchesters, who all chuckled before turning her head back towards Dean.
“This little white button will top up your morphine if needed. No doubt, those ribs will be sore through the night,” she chuckled at Dean’s hazy smile. “You’ll be kept in for a few days, mostly as a precaution. Brain and spinal injuries can take time to show, and you’ll be relying heavily on morphine for a few days.”
She filled a plastic cup with water, put a straw in it, and held it out for him. “Try to finish at least one cup before you fall asleep. It’ll soothe your throat from smoke inhalation and stop dehydration. And if you need help, push this red button right here, and a nurse will come to check on you.”
Satisfied with her patient, she turned to her colleague and the first new friend she’d made since she’s come home. “Jess,” she said as she wheeled the stool over to her. “I want to check on the baby and your blood pressure.”
“I’m fine, don’t worry about me, Y/N. I’m not the one in the bed,” Jess whined.
“Dean is just fine, and you are pregnant, and you got a fright…”
“I told you I’m fine!” Jess protested stubbornly.
“The first time I met you, you almost fainted because your blood sugar was too low. Scared the bejesus outta me, so forgive me for wanting to make sure you’re alright,” Y/N wasn’t giving up easily, but neither was Jess.
“Trust me, I’m fine.”
“Is she always this stubborn?” Y/N asked Sam with a raised eyebrow, smirking when he held both hands up.
“I plead the fifth,” he chuckled, and she laughed and mumbled ‘lawyers’ before turning back to Jess.
“Don’t make me an asshole and pull rank, please, Jess? Just… humour me,” Y/N tried for the final time, grinning in triumph when Jess held her arm out.
Y/N secured the cuff around her arm and quickly took her pulse and blood pressure. Putting on gloves, the older nurse gestured to the younger woman’s bump and asked: “May I?”
Jess lifted her scrubs top, and Lucy gently pressed around the bump, feeling for the baby.
“Come on, sweetheart, don’t be shy,” Y/N murmured. “Where are you hiding?” The room’s occupants watched on as her brows furrowed in concentration, and a big smile filled her face as she said, “There you are!”
Y/N rubbed her stethoscope with an alcohol wipe. She warmed the diaphragm on her gloved palm before placing it where the baby was positioned. She listened and counted the heartbeat with a soft smile.
“Perfect!” Y/N exclaimed when she was finished.
“Told you I was fine!” Jess mumbled grumpily.
“Yeah, well,” Y/N smirked. “This is way better than me having to write up an incident report because a pregnant woman on my watch goes and faints on me. Again,” she smirked, remembering her first day here. “I’ll never apologise for doing my job, Jess,” Y/N smiled warmly, winked, and wheeled back on the stool before she stood and slid it under Dean’s bed.
“You look so pretty in purple, Y/N/N. It matches your eyes a whole lot,” he slurred as if he’d just noticed the colour of her scrubs for the first time, and she laughed; pure, unabashed, and genuine, making Dean grin like a little kid.
“Thank you,” she smirked.
“Can I ask a favour, princess?” Dean asked her.
“Shoot,” she smiled in response.
“The kid I got out. Can you find out how he’s doing for me?” Dean pleaded, and she laughed at the coincidence.
“He’s one of my other patients. Charming little guy. He asked me out for ice cream!” she chuckled. “Lucas Maxwell is four years old and now wants to be a firefighter, though I’m not too sure Mom is happy with his sudden career change from driving a tractor to fighting fires,” she grinned widely.
“He has minor smoke inhalation and is hooked up to oxygen. He told me in great detail about how you swooped in at the last second and flew him to safety!” Y/N giggled at Dean’s chuckle. “He’s being monitored for a few more hours but should be home for dinner.”
“I’m glad he’s okay,” he yawned.
“Get some rest, De. I’ll come to check in again soon, and you better be asleep, or there’ll be trouble, alright?” she said as she looked down at him and cupped his cheek with a fond smile.
“Yes, ma’am!” he saluted her, and she laughed at how adorable high Dean was. Y/N said her goodbyes to the room and headed to the waiting room to update Firehouse 3 about their Captain’s condition.
“Y/N?” Bobby asked as soon as she walked into the family room. All eyes were on her, and Benny and a guy with the bluest eyes she’d ever seen smiled warmly at her. “How’s Dean?”
“Dean’s injuries are mostly superficial. He has four broken ribs, but luckily, none punctured his lungs, and the smoke inhalation should clear in a day or two. There is no sign of brain or spinal trauma, which is good, but he’ll be closely monitored for any changes over the next few days. We’ve given him morphine for the pain, and he’s resting comfortably.”
Every firefighter thanked her with a tight hug, as did Jo Harvelle and the other paramedic she didn’t know. Benny and the blue-eyed man approached her last.
“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Y/N. I’ve heard a lot about you. I’m Castiel Novak, Dean’s friend,” Mr Blue Eyes said as he pulled her into a hug.
“Nice to meet you, Castiel,” she smiled kindly.
“Good to see you again, cher,” Benny grinned as he pulled her into his embrace.
“You too, Benny. It’s been a while!” she grinned and wrapped her arms around him, squeezing tightly.
Bobby visibly relaxed when Y/N came through the door and declared Dean was fine and would make a full recovery. After his squad hugged her, he pulled her from the room for a more private conversation.
“Sorry if they overwhelmed you, princess,” he smiled softly.
“It’s fine. The firefighters in Chicago were the same. You guys are a family, and I know the relief you feel when one of your own makes it through.”
“I forgot you had a “friend” in the CFD,” Bobby grinned, and his reddening cheeks made her laugh. “Did you talk to him?” he asked. All previous traces of teasing were gone, and his seriousness took over.
“He’s injured and pumped full of morphine, and I’m working,” she sighed at his scoff.
“You need to talk to him,” Bobby pleaded.
“And I will,” she said, feeling her temper flare. “When he’s not off his face on drugs, and I’m off the clock and don’t have other patients to care for!” she said as calmly as she could.
Uncle Bobby was only trying to help them move on with their lives, either with each other or by getting over each other. She knew that, but he was hard-headed and didn’t like taking no for an answer.
“Everything okay here?” Jody said to the pair, who were glaring at one another. Standing beside her husband, she kissed his cheek, causing him to break the standoff off first.
“Everything is just peachy, Jody. I was telling Uncle Bobby that Dean is fine and will make a full recovery. He’s delighted, obviously, but seems to think I need to have a serious conversation with him right this second while he’s high on morphine and probably doesn’t even remember me being in the room with him less than five minutes ago.”
“Y/N…” Bobby started, but she cut him off.
“I promise, alright? I promise I’ll talk to him when he’s off the morphine and I’m not working. If you’ll excuse me, I have patients who need me,” she snapped a little more viciously than she intended before storming away.
Y/N was shaken when her patient’s mother told her Dean had jumped from a building. He could’ve died and was extremely lucky only to have a few broken ribs. The thought of that happening before she saw and talked to him put her emotions into overdrive.
“Bobby, I told you to leave it be! They’re both adults and can sort their own shit out. Let them!” Jody scolded. “If you keep pushing her, she’ll close off to you and Dean. Is that what you want?”
“Of course not! She’s been back for six weeks, Jody, and this is the first time they’re even laying eyes on each other! I want them to get their shit together and finally have the life they should have been living for the past twelve years! Dean could have died!” Bobby fumed, his eyes watering, and Jody wrapped her arms around him in the embrace that always calmed him down.
“I know, honey, but we need to step back and let it happen. We know they still love each other, but they don’t know how the other feels or if there’ll be resentment or awkwardness. They’ve both probably been too scared to make the first move.
“It’s tragic that it’s taken Dean being admitted to the hospital for them to see each other for the first time, but the ice has been broken now, and we just have to trust that it’ll make it easier for them to have that talk now.”
“You’re right. I know, you’re right. I just hate seeing them still hurting because of that useless, abusive, drunken bastard. They could’ve had a family by now, Jody! He stopped that from happening, and I’ll be damned if I watch them be torn apart again.”
Next Chapter >>
Tag list: @deans-baby-momma @deans-spinster-witch @leigh70 @stoneyggirl2 @hobby27 @candy-coated-misery0731 @iprobablyshipit91 @twinkleinadiamondsky @mrsjenniferwinchester @spnwoman @snackles87 @perpetualabsurdity @hoboal87 @synmorite @nancymcl @trannydean @nic-kolas @jc-winchester @winchestergirl1720 @globetrotter28 @nelachu2423 @kayleighmeister @venicesem @ladysparkles78 @roseblue373 @suckitands33 @tristanrosspada-ackles @silentbutscreaming @lacilou @sandlee44 @kmc1989 @chriszgirl92 @ashbatz @k-slla @jamerlynn @waters-2567 @kazsrm67
#the one that got away#firefighter!dean winchester x reader#au dean winchester x reader#tw: child abuse#tw: alcoholism#tw: physical abuse#tw: verbal abuse#firefighter!dean winchester#dean winchester x reader
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given how you have talked about succession and race before, do you have any thoughts on the recent interview by Juliana Canfield in Vulture? The main gist of the Jess scene in the last episode being meant to be funny, according to one of the (white) writers. (Quote: "Three weeks later, a bunch of us went out to dinner and one of the writers, Lucy Prebble, was like, “We’re cutting together episode eight, and the scene is funny.” I was like, “It’s a funny scene?” It had never occurred to me that it was written to be funny. I saw it as deadly serious, existentially chilling, and reminiscent of the 2016 election.")
so, wrt that scene in particular, it's not totally clear to me what prebble thought the joke was, and imo that would make a difference. to me it read as a very dark joke aimed at greg, who's clearly torn between thinking mencken is 'bad' in a very distant way, and wanting to please his boss and do his job. jess's lines i did not think were delivered or played as funny, and the overall effect of the scene, to me, was to shift focus to the people who work for waystar but cannot really be said to make executive calls: assistants, underlings, &c. i read jess as feeling like she's been complicit in what atn was doing this entire time, and trying, too little too late, to stop it. her field of action is obviously very limited because she, like everyone else on the show, is still operating within waystar's orbit, and within capitalism.
more broadly, i think this jess convo is a little bit frustrating in some of the same ways the sophie stuff has been. it's a very last-minute shift for the show, to actually address head-on (sort of) jess and sophie as women of colour and what that means for them as people who are involved with the roys in different capacities. it's hard to do this well this late in the game, and especially in a season where by necessity the siblings' grief is so central. we still haven't spent any time with jess alone, and we've never really gotten into her head---also a problem with sophie. so, just as the sophie scenes work mostly as kendall characterisation, the jess/greg convo does a lot of its work as greg characterisation, and kendall's remarks to jess earlier in the season about atn covering african politics also tell us much more about how kendall sees jess, himself, and racism than they do about jess herself.
none of this is a new problem for succession; it has always been pretty clear that it's about its white characters. so, these last-ditch gestures toward more commentary on race can read as a bit tacky at best. with the election night thing, i don't mind a joke at greg's expense (it's continuous with him trying to claim he has "principles" in s2), but it is true that in that scene the show is using jess and her race (implicitly) to do that. the show's premise has always foreclosed a lot of potentially interesting questions about people like jess and in jess's position: again, disempowered, but also benefitting in some way from the company and from selling reactionary politics. that could make an interesting avenue to explore, but it's simply not one that this show has chosen to go down. again, it's not clear to me from that interview exactly what prebble thought the joke was so i can't really say much more about her specifically, but the scene itself in the show is part of a larger pattern in how the writers handle race (usually weirdly ignore it, sometimes use it to explore their white characters' psyches).
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Fanfic Writer Questions!
Thanks for the tag, @fazedlight and @thatonebirdwrites
1- How many works do you have on AO3?
I have 16
2. What's your total AO3 word count?
356,960
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Supergirl – Arrowverse/ DC Comics: Primarily Supercorp, secondarily Dansen, Brainia, and J’M’zz, and I have one AgentReign with secondary Supercorp.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
PRIDE and Prejudice – Super gay retelling of Jane Austen’s classic. Every kudos equals $1.00US to a LGBTQIA2S charity I make at the conclusion of Pride month (June) each year (teen)
Tell Me It’s Not Too Late – Post-S4, Lillian believes Supergirl is responsible for Lex’s death. Lena rushes to J’onn’s for game night, to confront Kara on her identity, only to find she’s nowhere to be found (teen)
I Believe in a Thing Called Love – Full alternate Season 6 rewrite (teen)
Wouldn’t It Be Nice – 50 First Dates movie AU (teen)
How Lost We Are – Lena is placed by her Witness Protection team (Maggie, Kelly, and Lucy) in Midvale as a flower shop owner where she meets teacher Kara and coffee/bookshop owner Jess, among others (mature)
5. Do you respond to comments?
Yes, I do usually respond, though not always right away. I enjoy chatting about my fics, so don’t hesitate to ask questions, but I don’t give out spoilers though.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
When She’s Gone, the Darkness Comes – Oof. It was so sad I had to write a second chapter. I much prefer happy endings (teen)
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
All of them have a happy ending of some kind, or they will once they’re completed. Though there are some with happy endings like Speak Now and Tis the Damn Season. Smut. I’m talking about smut (explicit)
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Yeah, though I’ve been mostly lucky. I don’t know why people leave hate on any fics really. If you don’t like something, close the tab.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Yes. It started as a small scene here or there when it was a natural progression of the fic, but now I occasionally right full smut fics and pwp like those found here (explicit)
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
Kind of, but the characters are all from within the Arrowverse/ DC Comics universes somewhere.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I know of. I don't understand why someone would do this. Please respect writers.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Yes. I Believe in a Thing Called Love is also in Spanish Creo en una cosa llamada amor (teen)
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
I’m currently working on one with @thatonebirdwrites, though it's not published. It’s a Supercorp fic where Kara is a building inspector and when she goes to inspect Lena’s home, she meets Lena’s daughter to tells her the floor is lava, so naturally Kara has to ensure that issue gets resolved.
14. What's your all time favorite ship?
Supercorp. But I do love most wlw ships
15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
I intent to finish all of my active WIPs. I have some WIP ideas that may or may not ever get going, but once I start a fic, I intend to finish it.
16. What are your writing strengths?
I have no idea… I guess easter egg type stuff or like blending canon into storylines. If your a reader and there's something you think is a strength I have, let me know.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Actually writing. Words be hard. And it's hard to find the time.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
I do it sometimes, probably not well. I like to include the translation in the fic (unless the characters themselves aren’t supposed to understand until later). But I'm sure the translations aren't fully right as I only use google translate and the Kryptonian dictionary.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Supercorp. I started writing fiction in Dec 2020. Before that it was all scientific research papers for uni.
20. Favorite fic you've written?
I suppose What Has Been Lost (Mature). It was what started this crazy adventure, has been the most challenging piece, and my longest (still ongoing). It truly blends lore and characters from across the Arrowverse and DC Comics into a human world and original storyline.
For Tags, if you'd like to participate: @fyonahmacnally @casualsavant @luthordamnvers @itsalliebitheway @innamorament0
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Ms. Fordshire! Hello, do you have a minute to answer some questions from Supercorp News Network about your latest red-hot fic? It’s all our readers want to hear about right now!
How long did it take for the crew to figure out that it was fake??? What tipped them off? I would’ve thought Kara and Lena were pretty convincing, since they were actually so smitten with each other. And why did they never say anything?
Why Metropolis? Do you feel bad for Lena always having to be the one to move across the country in fics? Do you really feel that Kara is a rover who’s been trying to move on and find something new ever since she was adopted? Or did you just feel like changing things up this time?
Will Kara keep in touch with her friends from National City? (Half of them are her exes, anyway!)
Was that a hint of reignssistant????????? (But even if not, it was great – Jess should absolutely be welcomed into the group, and Lena needs some more good friends.)
How do you keep coming up with original, fresh smut every time?? This is, like, your 800th Supercorp fic with copious smut, yet you keep surprising us, with Lena’s fantasies and her piercings and tattoos and Kara’s reactions and Lena’s exhibitionist kink and so much good dirty talk... (And you keep futher exploring your authorcanon of Kara not liking penetration.)
How will we hear from you next? Will it be the ‘90s librarian AU? The Practical Magic AU? The Paladin AU? Would you rather not say yet? Or will you be taking a break from publishing (which would be toooooootally your right if that's what you want)? Your fans are dying to know!
Lmao hello thank you for the questions! I will answer to the best of my ability!!!
- Lena and Kara did put on a good show, but each crew member figured it out at a slightly different time! Lucy knew pretty early on, specifically because having dated Kara she knows how Kara acts in a relationship, so she knew Something Was Different and deduced based on Lena’s behaviour and Alex’s level of stress over the whole thing. Putting on a good show when you know people are watching vs in little moments where you think no eyes are on you are very different things, especially for Lena! And from there I imagine it spread as things do through a close knit borderline incestuous friend group, with the agreement that they would let them figure it out on their own (with a few little nudges)
- The Metropolis decision was mostly because in most fics where I have Lena move she starts the story unhappy in her job or already thinking of relocating, but in this one she’s mid-takeover and went on the show as a bid to help the process. Restarting L-Corp is really important to her, whereas Kara is on DWTS mostly because it was the best paying gig and she was waiting for something to come along to motivate her to move on.
- Kara will absolutely keep in touch! My headcanon is that some of the other cast end up moving to Metropolis as well.
- It was a gentle hint at it maybe perhaps🤫 they bonded over fielding Lena’s self-delusion!
- I actually really appreciate you saying that, because after writing SO MUCH SMUT I do worry I’ve become repetitive! Writing smut is my favourite part of any story, I find it a really satisfying method of character examination/development, but I’m always worried it’s getting stale for people who have read all my other stuff. I’m glad it isn’t, and I truly have no idea how it comes out of my brain! I just conjure my little scenarios and hope for the best.
- Right now I’m working on the Practical Magic and 90s Librarian AUs, with the Paladin au on the back burner. Not sure which will start up first! Not taking a break though, the supercorp brainrot is still going strong. 💕
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WELCOME, ANGELS…
© voguesriot, unless stated otherwise, my works are not published to any other blog or site. all works belong to me. requests are open!
RULES & ABOUT ME!
hi!!! i’m jess, and i spend too much time thinking about lucy dacus and jeff buckley.
masterlist & who i write for
🎀… i love writing as a way to unwind, but i do have a life outside of writing so, if you send in a request, it may take a while to be written.
🎀… i will not write smut, drastic age gaps, inappropriate power dynamics (teacher x student, etc.), eating disorders, suicide, self harm, etc.
🎀… i made this blog mostly for writing, but i love talking to people, so my inbox is always open if you want to talk 🫶
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— who i write for
disclaimer: most of my stories are fem!reader, but i will write gender neutral, just let me know. i write angst, fluff, and smut. i am a bisexual female, so i will write about both female and male characters. i am mostly comfortable with writing anything, so don’t be afraid to send in whatever you’d like. my inbox is always open for anything, you can write your thoughts on characters, shows or movies, or my works! much love!
masterlist
the hunger games —
peeta mellark
finnick odair
katniss everdeen
coriolanus snow
lucy gray baird
tigris snow
johanna mason
billy the kid —
billy bonney
jesse evans
harry potter —
remus lupin
sirius black
ron weasley
luna lovegood
dean thomas
james potter
lily potter
hermione granger
bellatrix lestrange
blaise zabini
harry potter
tom riddle
regulus black
draco malfoy
yellow jackets —
lottie matthews
natalie scatorccio
taissa turner
shauna shipman
van palmer
travis martinez
jackie taylor
red dead redemption —
arthur morgan
sadie adler
john marston
charles smith
karen jones
star wars —
anakin skywalker
padme amidala skywalker
ahsoka tano
luke skywalker
leia organa skywalker
the last of us —
ellie williams
joel miller
tess servopoulos
dina phantasmagoria
jesse jeon
wwe —
seth rollins
roman reigns
sasha banks
dean ambrose
lita
jeff hardy
the walking dead —
maggie rhee
rick grimes
daryl dixon
shane walsh
michonne grimes
glenn rhee
carl grimes
rosita espinosa
negan smith
tara chambers
king ezekiel
sasha williams
magna
marvel —
wanda maximoff
pietro maximoff
natasha romanoff
yelena belova
bucky barnes
tony stark
scott lang
steve rogers
frank castle
bruce banner
ava ‘ghost’ starr
loki laufeyson
king valkyrie
sam wilson
marc spector
steven grant
layla abdallah el-faouly
matt murdock
miles morales
miguel o’hara
hobie brown
carol danvers
peter parker
gamora zen titan
peggy carter
king t’challa
game of thrones / house of the dragon —
daemon targaryen
rhaenyra targaryen
laena velaryon
jon snow
harwin strong
alicent hightower
sansa stark
helaena targaryen
criston cole
jacaerys velaryon
daenerys targaryen
euphoria —
rue bennett
jules vaughn
elliot hill
lexi howard
fezco o’neill
maddy perez
chris mckay
daisy jones and the six —
daisy jones
warren rhodes
graham dunne
eddie loving
camila dunne
karen sirko
outer banks —
jj maybank
john b routledge
kiara carrera
pope heyward
sarah cameron
cleo grant
shameless —
carl gallagher
fiona gallagher
lip gallagher
veronica fisher
kevin balls
svetlana yevgenivna
adding more soon!
#star wars anakin#star wars#the hunger games#marvel#wanda maximoff x reader#natasha romanoff#rdr#rdr2#arthur morgan fluff#shameless#yellowjackets#lottie matthews x reader#anakin skywalker x female reader#daisy jones and the six#the walking dead#twd#mcu#euphoria#houseofthedragon#game of thrones#rhaenyra targaryen#the last of us#ellie williams x reader#wlw#coryo snow#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#billy bonney x reader#tbosas#harry potter#ron weasley x reader
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MISS CONGENIALITY KACY AU
- Lucy is a new FBI agent in a team mostly men. Her boss is Jane Tennant, one of the rare female ASACs. Lucy loves her team and will do anything to impress her boss.
- They are going after a serial bomber and get a clue that their next target is the US beauty pageant contest.
- Figured that someone's gotta go undercover, Lucy jumps at the chance to prove herself. She might think that beauty pageants are stupid, and while she is confident in her looks, she knows she's not exactly the pageant kind of girl, but that's what undercover is right, to be someone you're not? So she can swap her combat boots for heels, her muscle tees and pants for dresses, and be less loud and brass.
- Tennant is worried, of course. This is a high profile case and it would be Lucy's first time undercover. But she has complete faith in Lucy and she will be running point herself, and Jesse and Kai will be on watch out.
- So Lucy will be going as Miss Texas, and they call in a "pageant coach," an eccentric man named Ernie.
- (cue funny make-over montage that looks more like Lucy and Ernie's spa day)
- It might be different from Lucy's actual personality, but growing up from a rich family means she can pretend and easily fit in.
- Everything is going fine until she meets Miss California, Kate Whistler.
- Holy shit Kate Whistler
- Lucy's impeccable gaydar also clocks Kate's not-so-straight vibe immediately.
- So she gathers information and flirts with Kate at the same time because she is that good of a special agent and listen Ernie this is for the mission okay?
- And they happen to share a room.
- (cue omg they're roommates squeal)
- They talk and Lucy finds out that Kate is smart, and charming, and funny as hell, and how can Kucy resist that?
- Meanwhile Kate is also in trouble because she just wants to win this competition but she can't help but pay attention to the hurricane force that is Lucy Tara.
- They talk well into the night and both wake up tired the next day.
- Both are certainly attracted to each other but neither will really make a move because Kate doesn't want it to mess up the competition while Lucy can't let it mess up the mission.
- But then one night Kate wanna go for a swim and Lucy is practically short-circuited when she sees Kate Whistler in a bikini and while she is not at all interested in going swimming she is very much into Kate swimming.
- So Kate is swimming in the pool and Lucy is on a bench watching and they just banter like usual. But then Lucy reaches out to help pull Kate up and they kiss and well...
- (Lucy is secretly glad she saw Kate in a bikini before the swimsuit contest day cause she would have choked on stage)
- Kate wants their thing to be lowkey, basically a secret. Lucy finds it weird, but considering that she is on a mission, she agrees.
- For talent day, Lucy does some back flips and such from her cheerleader days. Kate sings.
- Stuffs happen (cue investigative montage) and now. Now Kate is a suspect and Lucy is tasked to keep an eye on her.
- Lucy tells Tennant she doesn't think it's Kate, and Tennant believes her, but wants her to keep an eye on her anyway just in case, and dig into the other candidates.
- Lucy comes back to their room trying to act like normal but in reality she feels guilty because as long as Kate is a suspect Lucy cannot have any sort of personal relationship with her.
- So she pulls away and they kinda fight bc Kate doesn't understand why Lucy is acting like this all of a sudden
- Then Lucy made a comment about how Kate only cares about winning, and that hurts Kate so much bc they've talked and she thought Lucy understood her.
- Guess not.
- Things are tense that day.
- Sone point in the nexxt few days, while looking for some stuff Kate finds Lucy's FBI badge.
- She confronts Lucy.
- "Not only do you think I care so much about winning I would what? Sabotage the competition on purpose? Hurt people to get what I want? Is that what you think of me? Do you really trust me so little?"
- Lucy tries to explain but it keeps getting worse bc there are things she cant tell Kate.
- Last day comes and they narrow it down to the hosts. Kate won't look at her at all.
- Kate wins. The bomb is in the tiara.
- Lucy runs like hell and takes it off Kate's head before she can react and flung it away.
- It blows up, the team arrests the perp yada yada yada anyway back to the lesbians.
- They are gazing into each other's eyes and Lucy explains herself. She apologizes and Kate apologizes and then they kiss on television.
- They live happily ever after.
#kacy#ncis: hawai'i#ncis hawaii#i started this weeks ago when I rewatched the movie#then I watched today ep and#SPOILER ALERT#im warnining you#dont read past this if you havent watched the ep#....#okay?#KATE'S DREAM IS TO BE MISS AMERICA#SHE WANTS TO WAVE TO THE WORLD#my writing
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My TLH headcanons
(Mostly Ghostwriter)
1. Jesse is amazing with children. Whenever a little kid comes to the institute he starts chatting with them and becomes their bestie. This means he often times is left to babysit Alex, Zachary, and the Fairchild twins. Will thinks that this will be a great quality once he becomes head of the London Institute. Whenever Tessa notices, she smirks at Lucie because she knows that they’re gonna have so many babies later.
2. Being probably the most emotionally intelligent (and beloved) of the TLH cast, he accidentally starts gradually replacing his cousin Anna as the therapist. Everybody can’t help but love and trust him so he ends up like I was just making regular small talk with this person and now they’re crying on my shoulder telling me about their trauma what the hell happened!? This is ironic since he’s like the second most traumatized of all of them.
3. I think CC said somewhere that The Beautiful Cordelia was never published. I think that after getting rejected by countless publishers, her second try (or maybe farther down the line) is a Gothic based off of Grace. Her life is so dramatic that it’s just begging to have a novel written about it. This book is accepted by publishers almost immediately.
4. Lucie and Jesse get engaged about 3 years after the end of the series because Lucie rushes to finish her book as quickly as possible for this exact reason. Tessa said that they could change the rules about being in each other’s rooms once they got engaged, and they take full advantage of this. There is no way they could have waited until marriage, especially since Lucie takes every opportunity to torture him and make him regret every promise he made to her parents. I would honestly be impressed if they last until until engagement without finding some way to sneak of.
#jesse blackthorn#lucie herondale#grace blackthorn#ghostwriter#jesse x lucie#blackdale#heronthorn#tlh#the shadowhunter chronicles#the last hours#tsc#headcanon
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Three Years and Counting - Lucie and Jesse
My entry for @ghostwriterfest <3
Set a few years after canon.
Lucie and Jesse go on a date to celebrate their relationship milestone and remember the first time they kissed.
Mostly fluff, but with a little hurt/comfort.
Rating: T
Read on A03 💜
Lucie fixed her hat one last time and took her bag from the desk, before storming out of her room, the sound of her heels echoing on the limestone floor. She was excited and probably late. As she walked briskly to the stairs leading to the main entrance, she couldn’t help but smile.
She knew he was already waiting by the door by now, citing the excuse that it didn’t take long for him to get ready to go out, unlike her. But she knew he was just as thrilled to be alone with her as she was.
She knew she was right when reached the staircase, and saw him from the gallery above. He had his back to her, and he was talking to her brother. Lucie wasn’t sure when James had arrived. He probably needed to talk to their father, but she wasn’t sure. However, she did not care.
She began descending the stairs, and that was when Jesse finally turned, interrupting whatever he was saying to James. Their eyes met, and he grinned at her. Lucie exchanged the grin, and she didn’t stop glancing at her boyfriend until she was next to him. She loved him so much, and she knew he loved her too.
“Hello, James,” she chirped.
“Are you going out, Lucie?” James asked. “Jesse was just telling me about it.”
“Yes,” she answered, grabbing Jesse’s hand. “We are going on a date. We’ll get home late.”
“I never asked,” her brother shrugged. “I will tell papa when I see him. I needed to talk to him about next week’s dinner at Cirenworth with Cordelia’s mother.”
“Okay, you go on. Say hi to Daisy from me.” James nodded and said goodbye, leaving them alone in the foyer.
Every year, around the end of November, they had a special date night at the Shadow Market to celebrate the first time they had kissed. They had talked about it, and they both considered that moment to mark the beginning of their relationship. This year, they didn't have much luck with the weather. At least, rain and wind had quieted for that day, thus they took on the chance before the clouds would make it impossible to stroll around London without soaking their clothes.
“Were you waiting for a long time?” Lucie asked Jesse.
“A half an hour.” he replied with a playful grin. “You’re awfully slow at getting ready.”
“Oh,” Lucie huffed. “I’m sorry. I got carried away when I had to decide which dress to wear. I wanted the blue one, but then I opted for the emerald green.”
“Green, huh? You’re wearing so much of that as of late.”
Lucie blushed, and gazed up at him. “You’ve noticed,” she replied. “I thought it wouldn’t suit me, but I’ve noticed that it brightens the color of my eyes.” And it’s also the color of your eyes, she wanted to add, but he wasn’t stupid. He probably knew it, she hoped.
They had left the Institute behind and were directed to Southwark. It was a warm evening for November standards, and it wasn’t raining, thus they decided to reach their destination on foot.
“It does indeed,” Jesse nodded. “But then again, I am biased when it comes to you.”
She squeezed his hand, feeling even warmer than before. “You are such a doting boyfriend, and I love you for that. Among other things I like about you, of course.”
“And here I thought you only wanted to be with me because I am utterly handsome and apparently, also filthy rich.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Jesse Blackthorn,” she rolled her eyes at him and bumped his arm with her shoulder. “I only want to be with you because you’re the only one who puts up with my writing,” she joked.
“That’s not true,” he retorted. “Your brother and Cordelia might have stopped giving you feedback because they have been traveling a lot, but your mother and I still read your stories.”
Lucie frowned, but still smiled. “Mam stopped giving me feedback a while ago,” she confessed. “But it’s my fault. You read my most recent writing, you saw how it got more –”
“Personal? Yes, I figured it out,” he offered her a smile.
“And you didn’t say anything,” she sighed. “Why?”
“Well, admittedly, I didn’t catch all the personal references because I know you didn’t just write about you and me,” Jesse explained. “It’s not like when you wrote about Lord Jethro turning into a ghost and I felt a tad offended – maybe too offended,” he chuckled, “because I thought you were humoring me. But that was a clear reference and I was frustrated that I couldn’t really be with you because of the state I was in. Writing is a mix of real and invented, and sometimes, people see themselves in fiction, because fiction borrows from real life.”
“You are not wrong about this,” she said. “The problem is not that, though. I don’t mind my mother or my friends reading stories that they might have inspired. What scares me is being seen. Being known for real. I wear my heart on my sleeve, but even I have things I do not want to share with the world. And I’m afraid they won’t like it.”
“It seems fair,” he conceded as they arrived at their destination. The Shadow Market under London Bridge brimmed with downworlders, and it was a spectacle to see. “That was also the first thing that shocked me when I first met you. Being seen. It was at the same time thrilling and terrifying.”
“Because I was the only stranger who could see you?”
Jesse squeezed her hand this time, and she caught a shy smile on his face, but he was looking straight ahead. Lucie noticed the faerie stall with magic potions. They were so colorful. “More or less, yes. You weren't a stranger properly because I used to spy on your family a lot,” he said. “I couldn't believe I could talk to you. You were the first older person I could ever talk to who wasn’t dead, and I didn't know if I could handle it.”
“Can I ask why?”
“You really don't know?” He wondered. “You were intimidating, Lucie.”
She giggled. “Bizarre to find out after years that I scared you when we first met. Perhaps I was uglier than I thought.”
“Yes, you were so ugly, you scared me to death,” he chuckled. “No, wait. I was already dead.”
“Are you dead serious?” They exchanged a glance and laughed together. This was one thing she liked about being with Jesse. She could joke with him and he would humor her back. It was comforting being silly with someone.
He raised an eyebrow and shrugged. “Perhaps I’m with you just because of your connections, Lucie. Have you ever thought about that?”
She rolled her eyes. “We are here,” she called, and tried to drag him to the spot they both remembered well. “Over there,” she added, hoping he had heard her over the noise.
The crowd in this area of the Market was thick, and it made it impossible for them to walk side by side. Lucie tightened the hold on Jesse’s hand and led the way. She had noticed a spot with no stalls right under the bridge where the train passed overhead, and she meant to take him there, where they could stop and enjoy each other’s company in peace.
Lucie saw two vampires discussing with a faerie who didn’t want to lower the price of some concoction. This probably distracted her, because when she turned towards the path out of the crowded street, someone almost crashed into her.
“Apologies, sweet lady,” the man said, his voice eerie. He was dressed as a clown, and she was startled for a second. Not because of his clothes, but because she hadn’t seen him coming.
She sighed, but still replied: “no problem,” but he had already left.
She turned to Jesse to check on him. He tightened his grip on her hand, and she assumed he had been equally surprised by the clown barreling into them. She frowned when she saw him. He was paler than usual, and even in the dim lights of the Shadow Market, she could see that there was something wrong with him. A drop of sweat fell on the side of his face, and that alarmed her. It was too cold for him to be sweating, unless –
They were almost out of the crowded street, and she could see a way out. She pulled him into the empty space she had eyed before and he followed her without uttering a word. She heaved a sigh once they were out of the grasp of the crowd, and eased him to lean his back on the stone wall.
“Jesse,” she muttered, alarmed, cradling his face in her hands. His breath was labored, and this worried her even more. She thought someone in the crowd might have hurt him. “What –” she began, but he put his hand over hers and she squeezed it. It was icy cold, and it trembled in hers. She caressed his cheek and he glanced at her with a frightened look. “You are safe. No one is going to hurt you here. I will protect you.”
It wasn’t a lie. Lucie wasn’t that tall, but she could fight, if she needed to. She didn’t think she would need to fend off any demons, aside from the ones from a past she wasn’t aware of. She asked him to breathe in and breathe out, remembering another episode in the past where he had a similar reaction, until color returned to Jesse’s cheeks and he wasn’t gasping anymore.
He offered her a weak smile, and held on her hip for balance. It was enough for her, who could only sigh. “The one who bumped into you,” he said at last, “it was a clown.”
It was Lucie’s turn to gasp now. How could she forget? “I’m sorry, Jesse. I should’ve seen him coming.”
“He came out of nowhere, you could not,” he quickly replied. “It’s fine now, I just needed to take a breath. Thank you for taking me here.”
She nodded and bit her lip, not letting go of his hand. “Are you okay?”
“Yes, way better,” he assured her. “At last, we are where we intended to arrive.”
“Was this the spot?” Lucie wondered, and frowned at the noise of the train passing nearby. “I wish the market wasn’t so crowded. I could have run after that clown and hit him with my hat.”
“It wasn’t worth it,” he shook his head. “We can leave if you want, but I’d rather not. We have a tradition to uphold.”
It had turned into a tradition to have a date at the Shadow Market, and they made it there despite the last unwanted encounter.
“Are you sure?” she asked again, but she could see that he was better. “Then let’s make the best of it.”
She knew what came next, and put her arms around him. Jesse carried her face in his hands and she tipped her chin up so he could have easy access to her lips.
This wasn’t like the first time. Their first kiss had been urgent, because they were both afraid it could’ve been their last, and they had wanted to savor it until the end. But it had also been shy, because neither of them had known how to do it properly. Later, they had confessed to each other that it had been their first kiss, and Lucie couldn’t have been happier. They were going to be each other’s firsts in so many things, and this made their relationship even more meaningful to them.
This kiss held the passion and love they felt for each other but it was not rushed. They knew they had all the time in the world, and they kissed each other until their lips were swollen and sore, and their cheeks had turned red because of the heat.
“Three years and counting?” she wondered, out of breath, a hint of a smile on her lips.
“Here’s to many more,” he answered, and he sealed their anniversary and their promise of love with another kiss.
*
Thanks for reading <3
I wanted to write this for a long time, and I saw a post where I was reminded that in CoT Jesse says that he is scared of clowns and of stripes. I wanted this to go differently and include this bit too, but this week was too hectic and I had a hard time finding the will to write and to get inspired.
This fic meant to be fluffy and soft, despite the hurt/comfort. I love when the fmc comforts the mc, and I have one more fic where Lucie takes care of Jesse. I will probably post it sooner or later. For the moment, you enjoyed this. <3
#tsc#tsc fanfiction#lucie herondale#jesse blackthorn#blackdale#tlh#ghostwriter#ghostwriter fest 2023#chain of thorns#chain of iron#chain of#the shadowhunter chronicles#tweety.writes
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