OK PREFACING WITH IM SORRY IF I ALREADY SENT THIS EXACT ASK BUT MY WIFI KILLED ITSSLF AS I SENT IT SO IDK IF IT ACTUALLY WENT THROUGH. but in case it didn’t . i know youve gotten this countless times in the past because i blog stalked just in case youve mentioned something similar before but i need to know if you have any specific inspirations when you draw exaggerated expressions specifically like these two images of marcille. ive actually cried laughing over this comic and being able to communicate this type of visceral emotion is such an insane skill and ive followed your art for probably close to a decade through various fandoms so watching you develop this style has been fucking awesome and epic. like i cannot articulate how funny these are to me i just need you to understand i look at this comic to inspire me to draw now. the closest comparison i can draw to the feelings they evoke are like those mspaint reaction images and also mspaint tails i included for reference even though you probably know exactly what im talking about anyways but its actually so much harder to do that intentionally when you study art. also i lied you literally don’t even need to answer this i just had to let you know how obsessed i am over your silly comics and now ive written out a whole ass discussion post about it. im sorry if this is weird at all i think my daily prescribed amphetamines r wearing off and i know this is such a dumb specific thing to fixate on and im so sorry if its not something you want to hear about your art. ive just always seen that as an artist this type of expressive stupid silly style is something that comes after a significant amount of time and practice and study and style development despite being “simple” in theory. its just so cool to have worked with your own style so much that youre able to go “off model” from it and still maintain consistency with the rest of the piece. i said it already and im sorry this is actually rendundant now but the ability to communicate such raw emotion somehow decreases from at its height when someone is a beginner artist learning how to proportion and keep a steady line and what looks “normal” but somehow it all comes full circle because taking all that experience and using it to almost return to where you started but in a fully informed and intentional way so you can make choices to draw characters like this when the situation calls for it is just dhcidogakgoshfhw. i think i need to cut myself off or im going to talk in circles im sorry tumblr user sabertoothwalrus i just am fascinated by your style and progress and the years you’ve dedicated to art can be seen in so many places but this is just one that stands out to me specifically.

MMMMM what a fun question!!!

I'm not gonna lie, I think it's just Letting A Drawing Be Bad. I definitely think the people that struggle with this the most are people who have genuinely very pretty art styles, to the point of being kind of perfectionist about it. and to Draw Funny often means Drawing Fast and Weird. Pretty is kind of the antithesis of funny (unless being pretty is the punchline). do drawings that make yourself laugh. tracing/lining funny sketches almost always makes them less funny.

one of my favorite types of humor is when it skews more deadpan, actually. This is one of the reasons I love Adventure Time. minimal expressions and flat line delivery + absurd context is a really good combo. the key to comedy has more to do with contrast! if your drawings are allllll crazy ren & stimpy all the time, they're not funny anymore cause it's just "normal". if it's all subdued UNTIL it's extreme, and vice versa, then it's funny. The reason this comic is so funny is because of the complete lack of any expression. I feel like the one you sent of Marcille shouting "WHAT" is funnier when you know how much she tries to be dainty and feminine and delicate, how much she values her appearance, and how averse she is to "gross" or "weird" things.

something I find really annoying (and this is with comics/animation in general, not the expressions themselves) is when the joke goes on for too long. Like you'll have the joke, then the punchline, and THEN the characters reacting to the punchline??? Like the author didn't trust that their audience would find the joke funny, so they basically drew in a laugh track. But, this is distinct from a character's reaction being the punchline (like how the examples you gave from my Marcille comic are). MY POINT IS sometimes expressions aren't as funny on their own as you think, and context can affect how you feel about it!

as far as inspirations go!

my own face! even if I don't have a mirror, I like making the expressions myself so I can "feel" where the points of tension on my face are, and it gives me a sense of what to exaggerate.

my brother's art, believe it or not! we've been trying to make each other laugh with our drawings since we were kids, and he's really good at it.

ATLA has some great expressions

OK KO has been a reallyyyy good source for me lately. That show is so tailored to my sense of humor and the expressions and line deliveries feel exactly like the kinds of things I'd come up with. The tone, timing, and art style are all really close to the tv show pitch I'm working on, so when I feel like I've "strayed" too much from it (like after drawing a bunch of dungeon meshi, and my art feels tighter and... idk "manga-ier"?) I like to go and watch a couple episodes of OK KO to loosen back up

A lot of things like OG Spongebob, Calvin & Hobbes, the Simpsons, Chowder, etc etc

memes in general. if it makes you laugh, keep it in mind

and lastly, I wouldn't say I ever try to mimic funny expressions I see. Like if I watch a show for inspo, I'm not pausing it to copy specific drawings, I'm just trying to notice patterns and pay attention to what about it I find funny.

talking about being funny is really bizarre and I dunno if it makes it lose some of the magic. Ultimately it's something you can't think about too much, and just gotta go with your gut.

Colin's jealousy just hits so well for me this season because unlike Simon and Anthony's jealousy (which mostly comes from male ego and physical lust), Colin's jealousy is born from something much deeper, beyond the surface-level, primitive instinct of seeing he has competition. That's not to say some of that isn't influencing Colin's actions, it most certainly is, but it's not the main force driving his emotions.

His jealousy doesn't come from out of nowhere, yknow?

His jealousy is born from shared history with one of the few genuine relationships in his life that he holds close to his heart, an unconscious, albeit cherished understanding that Penelope is a constant in his life. It's born from the slow, painful realization that he had lost her without even knowing it (further shaking his already flimsy resolve to try and fit into society's standards of being a typical rake), and whilst making a genuine effort to earn her good graces back, unwisely set himself up to lose her again.

Whereas Simon and Anthony's jealousy is superficial (and logically speaking, doesn't make much sense and only speaks to their self-entitlement due to their positions in society), Colin's jealousy is a humbling experience for him, which lends itself to his growth as a character and as a man. It's no wonder he'd described it as "a feeling that is like torture, but something he cannot, will not, does not want to give up."

Can y'all imagine Simon and Anthony having the same sentiment as that without it coming off as OOC? Simon was determined not to continue his family line and Anthony couldn't let go of his pride and obligations, pursuing Edwina until the latter had to set her foot down akjhdjsvbd If they had had any choice in the matter, both of them would have done their utmost to not have to feel anything towards their love interests pre-marriage. (Colin too made an attempt with that second brothel scene, but let's be real, it was half-assed at best)

Colin wants Penelope so much to the point he'd fully embraced even the torture of wanting her. And honestly? That's so damn refreshing to see, considering the typical romantic leads we usually see on television are trying to repress their emotions, not embrace it.

Colin yearns and wants, and he wants unashamedly. He's not jealous of Lord Debling; it's less about Lord Debling himself and the superb qualities he has that makes him an eligible gentleman specifically for Penelope and her circumstances, and more about being threatened by the concept of any other individual having the chance to establish that same emotional connection he has with Pen, and the possibility of that growing into something even more.

For all his kindness, Colin is actually quite possessive of that special connection he has with Penelope, and for a man who's already at odds and ends with his purpose in life and who he is in the grand scheme of the ton, understandably so.

It's why I knew in my gut during my first watch-through of s3 part 1 that although Colin had offered to help Pen find a husband by teaching her how to seduce men, he had never actually set out for it to be a successful endeavor. Lol If anything, it was just an excuse to be able to spend time with her. He had, albeit subconsciously, probably pictured the entire exercise to be something more along the lines of the incident with Lord Basilio, i.e. joking/gossiping w/ Pen about her prospective suitors and how unsuitable they are for her.

It's why Colin's excuses regarding Lord Debling about being a bad marriage prospect for Penelope sound so damn weak, his best reasoning being that he's "too particular."

For Colin, no man was ever going to be good enough for Penelope if it wasn't himself.

So I made a post about Adaine being the principal after killing Arthur Aguefort in a duel. And if that happens I think it would be fun for the bad kids to join her as teachers so here's what I think they teach

Kristen- Cleric teacher obviously. I think she's the most powerful and best cleric in the world, or at the very least Elmville even if she stumbles a lot. I think her background as helioic/solesian, who created her own god and found then revived another gives her a very unique perspective for any young clerics out there. I also think as someone who worships a pantheon it would work like Yolanda giving up her path of following a single god to be more fair to the students she teaches, unlike Bobby Dawn. Kristen has made as many mistakes as you can as a cleric so she would be a very good person to teach kids who might have anxiety about their choices.

Fabian- Bard Teacher, dance and sword. Corsica is a young woman as the fighter teacher so there's no real reason to replace her when the bad kids come of age. Fabian also drifted away from fighter so hard to bard it's clear where his heart is even if he's still an amazing fighter. I think he would be the teacher that brags about being the future and present of dance, along with being the Oracool of Dance to his students. He also has made a lot of steps from his stumbles in his school days and assures his students it's okay to fail, it's okay to wallow but you do have to pick yourself up still. Seacaster manor is still used as a study hall for any students who need it and his is the teacher willing to help any and all students, no matter the class or grade

Gorgug- Barbarian teacher. While I think artificing has his heart more, I could see Gorgug as an amazing Barbarian teacher. His goal is to undo a lot of the toxic aspects of rage and being a barbarian that people like Porter tried to force upon the class and the students taking it. He teaches about the positives of rage, that while it's a strong weapon, it can be an amazing shield to protect people. He is also the main multiclass advisor, he never refuses an MCAT request, he does ask questions but to let students talk about their interests not to make thing think their ideas are stupid or pointless

Riz- Rogue teacher. I think Riz starts to work for the CoC (Council of Chosen) for a bit after graduation, but doesn't like it since it feels more like Narc shit than spy work like his dad did. He's more fair than Yolanda, he is on school grounds more so kids have a chance to find him instead of having to go to a town miles away to find Eugenia. He focuses on the practical application of being a rogue, stressing that it's more than just damage for sneak attack. Being a rogue is about team work to make sneak attack easier, knowing your terrain to making hiding easier and not to jump into lava when you're not fire resistant or immune, investigating things not just focus on killing people

Fig- Sorcery teacher. Obviously she wouldn't be the bard teacher. She didn't go to bard classes as a student, why would she go as a teacher, despite being one of the most famous musicians in Spire. At first it seems like she's just another Jace, you know just hanging with her students instead of really teaching because sorcery is innate. But she's actually very good with them, she actually has experience in knowing what it's like to get powers from your blood instead of hard work. she also encourages her students to try multiclassing since they have time at school, she doesn't want them wasting the time they have when their young. Hackysack is fun, but they should try things when they're young and can get easy A's so try other class.

Adaine- Before she became principal she takes over for Tiberia as the wizarding teacher. she is much kinder and sympathetic than the previous teacher. She also doesn't make her students buy their own spell components and she makes sure that they know that they can explore other disciplines. Everyone thinks she's the sweet gentle wizard teacher until one of her students get bullied and she throws the other kid off them, or a monster attacks the school and she just decks it in the face exploding it's skull from the force of the blow. I also think she recommends that her students get exercise more than any previous wizard teacher. Studying and reading is important, but spells aren't everything, sometimes a healthy lifestyle can save you more than just magic.

◇ Your first meeting ◇

(pt.1)

◇ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ◇ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ◇

🪷 [ Ah, that most exciting meeting with a young man, before which you did not yet know that this boy would take that very place in your heart ]

◇ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ◇ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ◇

ㅡ Umemiya, Suo, Nirei

Umemiya

Your family's flower shop

During the holidays, your parents sent you to your grandmother in Makochi, who had a small but pretty flower shop. Spending a few weeks surrounded by flowers and calmness, away from the hectic and noisy city, seemed like a very good solution.

Today, your grandmother left for a meeting of shopkeepers from this street, so you stayed to replace her in the store.

The sound of the doorbell distracted you from the not too thoughtful scrolling social media feed on your phone.

ㅡ Wel..come

A tall white-haired young man in a funny T-shirt appeared before your eyes. He seemed big, but you instantly felt his comfort aura as soon as your eyes met.

His loud voice brought you out of a momentary trance while you were looking at him.

ㅡ Good morning! How are you feeling?

The guy beamed with a smile.

ㅡ Oh? Not bad, thanks. Are you looking for something?

ㅡ Yeah, I want to buy "Bull's Heart" tomato seeds.

You got up from behind the counter and started search shelves for the right seeds. You definitely remembered that you saw a package with such an unusual name the other day. After finding the right seeds on the farthest shelf, you returned to the counter.

ㅡ I didn't think gardening was popular among students.

ㅡ Oh? But it's a wonderful activity! I have recently ripened a sweet pepper, it cannot be described in words!

You stood and listened attentively as the young man in front of you enthusiastically talks about his gardening exploits.

Something about him got you hooked. He didn't look like the sullen boys from your town at all.

ㅡ I've been wanting to grow cherry tomatoes for a long time. I think I should also look for seeds today.

ㅡ Are you serious?

Umemia's eyes sparkled.

He told you that if you want to grow something for the first time, it's better to start not with seeds but with sprouts. And he just has a few on the roof of the school where he grows his vegetables.

He kindly invited you to come and choose one of them if you want.

And how could you refuse when those blue, almost puppy dog eyes were looking at you.

But, girl, don't think he's just giving away his precious plants to just anyone.

He was definitely interested in you at first sight conversation about tomatoes.

Suo

The tea house (Of course, it's a tea house, how could it be anything else?)

You stood and chose between Bi Lo Chun and Tie Guan Yin. It is a rather difficult choice. Both varieties reveal a floral-fruity taste and a sweet aftertaste. And of course, carried away by your reasoning over the choice, you did not notice how an elegant stranger has been watching you from another corner for 5 minutes.

Suo immediately noticed your good taste. It was not often that he managed to meet the same tea connoisseur of his age in Makochi.

When you were already starting to get nervous from the fact that you couldn't make a choice, a young man in a silk tangzhuang silently glided towards you.

ㅡ Bi Lo Chun harvest this year was particularly successful, and its fragrance is felt more deeply.

You turned at the melodious voice and saw in front of you a mysterious high school student with an eye patch and unusual earrings.

There was something fascinating about him..

The corners of Suo's lips lifted in a friendly smile, while you were slightly confused.

ㅡ Oh? Well, thank you..

ㅡ Can I ask, are you also interested in different types of tea?

Nirei

Anime Store

You were standing at the shelf and looking for a Funko POP with your favorite character from a childish but incredibly cute anime.

Having found the right one, you decided to go to the manga section. You were attracted by the bright cover of one of the manga, and you picked it up.

Then you felt someone's eyes on you. It didn't seem to you. Theree was an excited young man in a bright shirt and round glasses standing to your right. He looked like if he had a tail, he would be actively wagging it.

Damn, he really looked like a cute puppy with that expression and the sparkle in his eyes.

ㅡ Excuse me?

ㅡ Oh! I'm sorry for staring, I didn't mean to scare you, it's just... Do you like this manga too? I have not yet met the same fans of this work, but it is really interesting. And the characters here are very unusual and so well written!

You watched in surprise as Nirei quickly took his notebook out of his pocket and began enthusiastically talking about the small details of the main characters from the cover of the manga that you were holding in your hands.

Such information can usually be found only in special publications or artbooks. God, this guy seems obsessed with this case. Is he really okay?

And yet, despite this oddity, he looked so cute and enthusiastic, telling you about everything that you silently listened to, looking at his freckles.

ㅡ So, who is your favorite character?

ㅡ Oh, uh..I'm not a fan of this manga, actually..

The expression on the boy's face changed so quickly to confused and a little sad that it made your heart ache.

He blushed slightly from embarrassment.

ㅡ Oh..sor-

ㅡ But I'll read it, you've interested me with your words.

It's strange, but when this sunshine smiled again, for some reason, it felt better for you.

◇ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ◇ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ◇

🪷 [ Okay, I've already accelerated now ]

I saw that you had transformers on your fandom list, will you be willing to write a 'bot of choice x human reader jealousy/protectiveness fic? Like in that one scene from Transformers 2 where the Deception Pretender tried to seduce Sam but Bee absolutely wasn't having that but had to stay in car mode?

[Aren't you supposed to be more mature than this?]

Summary: Optimus knows better than to get attached to you (too late), he can't help but side eye you and a stranger interacting. (Based on Knightverse Optimus, after ROTB!)

Word count: 800+ words!

Pronouns: They/them

Warnings: Optimus is bad at feelings, Optimus being down bad, extremely self indulgent. Mainly Optimus' Pov as well! Lmk if I need to tag anything!

A/N: Everyone who knows me knows of my obsession and love for this man it's so bad, I have him tattooed and have a whole ass shrine I love HIMMM, Thank you sm for the request! He is the love of my life.

Optimus Prime has been called many things, many of which are true, things he'd accept with pride.

A great leader, a good friend, a valuable teammate, A war criminal.

A jealous bot was never one of them, until recently.

He wasn't sure when he started to take a shine towards you. Was it after Unicron? When he held you in his servos, cradling you to his chest as he transformed back into his bipedal form, only letting go of you after the confused looks from Bee and Mirage.

Maybe it was a while after that, when you offered to help clean him up, Noah was too busy rebuilding Mirage to offer his services to the big man himself.

Optimus could never wipe the feeling of your small hands gently running across his frame, taking extra care to mend any scratches you found, constantly checking in to make sure he was comfortable.

He's ashamed to admit, but he kept shuddering under your touch, his senses overwhelmed by your presence. Every time his cooling fans turned on, he'd wave it off as it was just hot outside. (it's 60 degrees out, liar.)

He tries to recharge that night, but the feeling in his chassis makes him restless. He can see his sensors go haywire at the mere thought of you. He is so fucked, he shuts his eyes and groans deeply, his mask shooting up to mask the sound, lest he wakes the others.

Primus help him.

With his new revelation, Optimus tries his best to distance himself towards you, always making excuses as to why he can't drive you home or to work (a flicker of jealously when Arcee offers, no one catches his digits curling ever so slightly into his palm), saying he must go on patrol for the time being. He waves you off when you try and care for him, asking if he'd like any help with any scrapes and dents, saying he can live with them, he's been through worse.

Its only natural that you'd give him some space, that's the kind of person you are, kind, loving, respectful, loyal to a fault, but it doesn't escape his notice when your smile falls after he politely tells you you're not needed, his spark aching when you turn around to go find another bot.

Optimus watches you now, stationed on the street.

He has no right to be upset when you're stopped outside of the garage by an older man, the man so clearly taking interest in you while you're very politely listening and nodding, shooting that oh so pretty smile to a man who he's sure is not fit to be anywhere near you, not worthy of the warm smile you wear.

It makes him seethe in jealousy, and it's scary.

He can not remember a time when he had ever been jealous. He's a prime. He was supposed to be a calm and collected leader and yet. And yet, he's so close to blowing his hor-

You suddenly whirl towards him. If he was any better of a man, he wouldn't immediately think of how cute you looked, how your lips moved as you let out a yelp.

It isn't until that thought passes his mind that he realizes he used his truckers horn. Embarrassment trickles through his body, although now he has your attention, and you are making your way towards him. The man following behind you keeps the conversation going, not catching a hint.

Optimus is ready to honk again, especially if this man keeps following so close behind you, way too close for comfort.

You beat him to it, turning around as you rest a hand on Optimus’ cabins door handle, shooting the man a polite smile.

“Sorry about that, but my husband is actually here to pick me up, so I have to go. Have a good day!” And You hoist yourself up, quickly buckling your seat belt, gently patting the dashboard in hopes Optimus fucking drives before you're bothered anymore.

Optimus’ processor buffers, his engine revving as he goes on autopilot to tale you both away. Does he know where to drive to? Certainly no, but you're with him now. He's sure you could ask him to take you to distant planets, and he'd make it work for you and only you.

“Thank you for the save, big guy.” You smile brightly at his steering wheel, your eyes lovingly trailing across the autobot symbol that sits in the center.

“It was nothing, I am glad to be there to assist.” The cabin rumbles with his voice, soothing your anxiety. You curl into your seat, resting your head.

“Where are we going?”

“If I'm not mistaken, you mentioned wanting to go to upstate New York to drive along some scenic routes? I'll gladly be your escort.”

He is so ridiculously falling for you, but he can't bring himself to hate it, especially when you excitedly hop in your seat.

ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ᴠᴇʀʏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ꜰᴏʀ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ʜᴏᴘᴇ ᴛᴏ ʜᴇᴀʀ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ʏᴏᴜ ꜱᴏᴏɴ!

Can I request headcannons of MC getting in a fight with Solomon and Simeon (separately) about something pretty big and how MC (or Solomon/Simeon depending on the reason for the fight) makes up for it/apologizes? I just need some good old angst to fluff man.

Thank you and your writing is amazing!

hi! of course :)

the solomon one was def a lot more serious that the simeon one just because i couldn't think of much that mc and him would get into a serious fight about haha (this only thing i could think of was mc confronting him about his choices that led to him becoming humans and that needs it's own piece for sure)

i kinda deviated from the prompt as a wrote, so sorry about that haha. that happens sometimes as i write. the solomon one is much more on prompt

enjoy <3

Mc gets into a fight w/ Simeon and Solomon (separately)

Simeon

you get jealous that he's been spending so much time with the members of the school's art club

that in itself isn't the problem and you're glad he's getting out there more with something he doesn't normally do, it's just that you can tell that two other members in specific are very into him

they inserted themselves into your relationship and specifically tried to upset you, which cause you to blowup at them

"So, what time are you going to be home?" You pinched your D.D.D. between your shoulder and your ear as you got together the ingredients for dinner that night, since it was your turn to cook.

"In about an hour. Art club will take a little longer today. We're finishing our paintings. I hope you'll like it." The melodious voice of your boyfriend, Simeon, was piped into your ear.

"I'm sure it'll be amazing. If you're going to be late for dinner, let me know. I'll set aside a portion for you." You smiled at the nervousness you heard in his voice.

"Alright. I'll talk with you later then. Love you, Mc." Simeon said.

""Love you too. Stay safe." You put the phone down, and went back to preparing dinner. After you were done, you left it on the stove on keep warm and went off to get some homework done. Eventually, dinner time had rolled around, and still nothing from Simeon. You assumed everything was as normal, so you called your other housemates to dinner.

"Thank you Mc." Luke sat down at the table with his plate.

"Let me know what you think! I tried a modified recipe today." Before Solomon could speak up, the front door finally opened. You got up to greet who you presumed was just Simeon, but there were three people in the doorway.

"I'm home. Hope you don't mind I brought a few guests." Simeon stepped aside to fully reveal his two companions. You recognized them as two other members of the art club, an incubus and a succubus. They really liked Simeon, which wasn't wrong, but they liked him too much. They knew he was currently in a relationship, but that didn't seem to stop them.

The rest of what happened was somewhat of a blur. You vaguely remembered getting progressively more upset at the two newcomers, until eventually, you stood up from the dinner table and went upstairs to your room.

"Mc? I know you're in there." Simeon knocked on the locked door. you didn't answer him. "I'm sorry for bringing them home. I didn't know they'd say that to you. You can blame me all you want." Instantly, you felt bad for unconsciously pinning the blame on him. He had such an alluring personality, so it wasn't really his fault that everyone liked him.

"It's not your fault." You opened the door, and pulled him into the hug. "They were trying to get a rise out of me, and I took the bait. It was a result of pent up feelings I should've share before. I'm sorry."

Simeon sighed and patted your back. "No need to apologize. It's normal to be jealous. I could have done better and asked, but the past is in the past, isn't it?" He took a step back and picked something up that was leaning against the wall. "This is for you. I'd wanted to prepare some of your favorite cookies to go along with it, but I thought now might be a good time to give it to you." In his hands was a portrait of you.

"Simeon! This is beautiful. Thank you!" You hugged him again.

"I'm glad you like it." Simeon moved to set it down, but you stopped him.

"Let's hang it up right now. I have the perfect spot." Simeon was glad to have been graced with seeing your beautiful smile once more.

Solomon

the two of you get into a fight about his tendency to hole up in his room for days at a time

he says he's doing important experiments but you just want to spend time with him

when he does leave his room, it's a weird hours and it's at one of these times that you happen to run into him

"Sol." You held up your D.D.D.'s flashlight. In front of you was your boyfriend, looking like he hadn't slept in at least a few days. The situation might had been funny if you weren't so upset with him. He froze in the beam, looking like a deer in headlights.

"Mc, my love, my joy, my sunshine. What are you doing up this late?" He chuckled nervously, trying to rub the sleep out of his eyes.

"I could ask you the same thing." You stared at each other in silence. "Babe, it's been three days since I last saw you." He smiled at you sheepishly.

"I've been doing important work." The response he came up with was lackluster.

"What could be more important than your significant other?" You sighed, lowering the flashlight. Solomon didn't respond. "Our anniversary was yesterday. You promised to take me out to dinner. I waited and waited, and even knocked on your door, but you told me you'd be out soon. You never came out." Tears began to well up in your eyes despite promising yourself you wouldn't cry. As the realization hit him, Solomon began to move towards you to comfort you, but you took a few large steps backward.

"My work really is important, but let me make it up to you. We can go out tomorrow morning for brunch, or whatever you'd like." He kept trying to move towards you, but stopped once he realized you didn't want him to close the distance.

"Maybe. I don't know. My feelings are hurt is all. I got dressed up and even had a present ready. I left it outside your door, not that you noticed." You wiped the tears away with your sleeve.

"I made a real breakthrough in my research, if that helps." Solomon suddenly looked much more awake.

"It doesn't. At all. I only wanted one thing from you, but somehow you've managed to avoid it at every turn. I admire your passions, really, I do. But sometimes, I feel like that's the only thing you care about." You turned around, and ran out of the room, taking the only source of light with you.

"Wait! Mc, come back!" Solomon promptly ran headfirst into the door you'd just slammed shut, leaving him alone in the dark, and upset himself.

The next day, he showed up at the HoL, bouquet of flowers in hand. He hesitated for a moment, but knocked. Unfortunately, Satan greeted him. He looked mostly collected, but that didn't stop him from being nervous.

"Hello." Solomon smiled at him.

"I presume those flowers aren't for me." Satan raised an eyebrow.

"Haha, no. They're for..." Your name died on his tongue when he saw you in the background. Your eyes were rimmed red and you had messy hair, but you looked rested. When the two of you made eye contact, you froze.

"Mc, I'm sorry." He held out the flowers to you over Satan's shoulder. He rolled his eyes and stepped a little out of the way. Far enough to give him room, but close enough to force him back outside if needed. You burst into another round of tears, and before Belphie, who was next to you, could grab you, you ran towards him and hugged him tightly.

"That's all I wanted to hear yesterday." Solomon held you close with his free hand.

"I'm sorry for making you think my research was more important that you, I'm sorry for forgetting our anniversary, and I'm sorry for not communicating better." He extended the flowers to you again once you stepped back.

"Thank you. You remembered my favorites." You took them, and gave them a quick whiff.

"Is it too forthcoming of me to ask if you're still up for brunch?" Solomon chuckled.

"No. I'd love that. Just let me get changed." You handed the flowers back to him temporarily to run back inside to get out of your pajamas. Satan had left at some point, but Asmo had found his way into his place.

"Sol. I love you, but if you ever try that again, I think I'll have to put your heart on a spike in the RAD courtyard." Asmo giggled. That was the second time he'd heard his usually endearing nickname spoken in such a threatening way in the past day.

"Noted." Just the reminder he needed never to piss off his s/o or Asmo ever again.

I find the beginning of I’m No Angel cute and funny. Dean is worried sick about Cas especially once he finds out that the angels are working together and killing people. He says if they get to him before we do and all Sam does is sit there trying hard not to tell Dean to calm his ass down. It’s an example of Sam knowing which I really like. Then when they are looking for Cas and Dean describes him as dark hair and blue eyes. It’s a simple description yet I still love it. He’s spent enough time eye f*cking Cas he should know the colour of his eyes.

The poor boy looked like he was about 2 seconds away from losing it from seeing Cas dead and i’m pretty sure in the script it doesn’t say Cas dies then Dean places his hands on both sides of Cas face lovingly anf gently.

I absolutely love this part. First of all as Ezekiel (I know it’s Gadriel but at this point they don’t) is fixing Cas Dean is mouthing come on. Sam faints after Ezekiel fixes Cas and Dean is about to go over to check on Sam and as soon as he hears Cas say his name his head whipped around soooo fast. Then Dean takes another opportunity to put his hands on Cas leg and chest. Think this is Jensens choice again and I’m very happy with his choices.

This actually made me bust out laughing. Cas told Dean and Sam that he had sex with April (think that was her name). Dean looks proud and Sam looks disgusted. I think Sam is trying to figure out why Cas would tell them that not realizing that Cas told Dean back a few seasons ago that he was a virgin so he knew Dean at least would be happy for him. Personally I don’t think Cas really liked misses even before she started torturing him I think it was just a human thing he wanted to experience.

This broke my heart. I feel bad for Dean. He’s in such a hard place. He either has to tell Cas to leave and have him defend for himself as a human which he’s not used to doing and running away from angels that want to kill him or he lets Cas stay and Sam dies. The worst thing is he was extremely happy to finally have Cas in the bunker where he could protect him and take care of him and then gets his heart broken when told he has to tell Cas to leave. I’m guessing the writers tried to explain it with Dean defending Cas and saying that he’s the one that the angels are after, he only let Ezekiel possess Sam because Cas said he was a good angel and that he has the tattoo. Ezekiel saying that misses found Cas even with the tattoo but they never explained how misses found Cas. Dean is extremely confused because he knows the tattoo keeps the angels from finding people so Cas should be protected. I feel bad for Cas because now he has to be by himself again but I also feel bad for Dean because he had to be the one to tell Cas to leave.

If Cas could see the love and sadness in Dean eyes here he would forgive him right away (Heaven Cant’t Wait). I know Dean doesn’t want Sam around or talking to Cas because he knows if he does Sam will say something about Cas deciding to leave and Cas would tell Sam that Dean told him to leave and Sam would know something was wrong since Dean wanted Cas in the bunker but it’s a nice excuse for Cas and Dean to be alone. Sam questioned Dean if there’s no case and you’re not going to see Cas then what’s the point? At least Sam knows how much Dean wants to see Cas. Cas obviously wanted to see Dean too since he called him about the case not Sam. Well 99% of the time he does call Dean but right now he’s feeling rejected by Dean and yet he still calls him and probably knows Dean will drop everything to go there.

Dean says I can’t let you do this and I didn’t see the way Cas looked at him at first but then I realized Cas was hoping he would say don’t go on this date stay here with me.

Dean tells Cas to unbutton some of the buttons on his shirt and Dean is obviously enjoying the sight. He has a huge smile on his face and checking Cas out then when he realizes Cas is looking at him he goes back to making sure Cas looks good.

Earlier in the ep Dean was being as asshole telling Cas he was too good to be working in a little store not realizing Cas has to get money now for food, supplies and whatever else he needs or wants. I think Dean still looks at Cas and sees the strong (as in mentally) angel that he’s used to. He’s used to Cas being more then happy to help them with cases and now that Cas wants to be good at his job Dean didn’t understand it until this point. He now realizes Cas is still mentally strong and if he got to be human he’s going to do it the best he can. He even tells Cas he’s proud of him and Cas looks happy to hear it. I think hearing that Dean is proud of him made him feel better about Dean telling him to leave the bunker. In an earlier ep (the dead people turning to zombies one) Dean couldn’t understand why Bobbys wife wasn’t telling Bobby the truth. She said to Dean you’ve never been in love have you. She wanted to keep Bobby happy and protected (I can’t remember her exact words). Here Dean didn’t tell Cas that the spell was irreversible because he thought Cas was happy as a human and didn’t know what he would do if he knew he was never going to be an angel again. I guess Dean is in love now. Lastly when Cas got out of the car you can see how hard it was for both of them to say goodbye. Dean actually had to let out a deep breath before he could look at Cas again and Cas looked sad as he walked to the store.

Time to fangirl about Helluva Boss: My predictions for "Full Moon"

Stolas wakes up. He's sick, he's nervous, he's conscious what day it is and what will could posibly go right or go absolutly and irremediably wrong.

We know the episode starts with the duet, so Stolas proceeds to vent his feelings the only way we've seen him be able to do: through songs. So they sing.

Stolas sing about being aware of the power inbalance in their... situationship. So he plans to give Blitz the choice to stay or leave. Of course, if Blitz choses to stay it would be perfect; but if he doesn't, Stolas would lose the only thing close to "love" he has.

Meanwhile, Blitz sings about keeping things the way the are. Of course, he doesn't like change. He's probably becoming aware of his own feelings but as long as they don't talk about it, everything will be fine, rigth?

After that, they're gonna show us IMP at the end of a job, using the grimoire (maybe) for the last time. And they are happy because everything is going up for them. Moxxie talks about how it would be disastrous to lose that but Blitz just ignores him 'cause he has somewhere else to be.

Bitz's suit has blood so he changes and goes to Fizzarolli for advice on how to please his high status demon so he can make sure they go back to how it was. And Blitz gets A LOT of things.

And finds Stolas waiting for him on the bed... but he's dressed? And so the torture begins.

Stolas is not good with words, we already know that. We also knew Blitz would take "the talk" as a subtle pitiful way of Stolas saying he doesn't wanna have anything to do with him anymore. And Blitz breaks. My boy tried to do, say and look his best to make this night special and turns out his efforts were in vain. Doesn't matter if he pushes people away because people will abandon him even when he's not trying to do so.

I've seen people theorize that Stolitz are gonna parallel themselfs when they were kids, with Stolas portaling Blitz to the tree where they played when they were little and confess or solve their problems there, but that's not the case. Here my evidence:

Look at the plants on the first background and the barely visible plant on the scene where Blitz is screaming at Stolas. It seems Blitz is chasing Stolas through the palace, but WHY? And here:

Right after Stolas portals Blitz away, we see a tree some believe to be the same as the one when they were kids, but it's actually one of the trees from the entrance. Stolas teleported Blitz OUT of the palace. Brandon has to agree at least we have this theory right.

Me & Brandon:

We also have this scene and I''m curious WHY does Stolas looks so formal? With the hat and everything:

For the red light on the corner, I assume this is from the same scene when they talk. Maybe he's not waiting for Blitz on the bed, maybe that's a completely different scene, but they DO have the talk in Stolas' room. Maybe this clip is first: he puts his hat on, ready to be professional so Blitz will take him seriously as he explains why they can't keep doing what they're doing the way they're doing it.

I have no idea what could Stolas had possibly said to trigger Blitz so bad to the point where he snaps (and maybe says some hurtful things) and Stolas ends it by teleporting him out. Maybe, in his dramatic solitude, the epise ends with Stolas saying: "Thank you, Blitz, for making me so happy even if only for a little while" as a form of closure.

Anyway, I give you nothing. I'm slowly spiraling into an abyss of delusion in order to survive the wait.

I think we should just pass a law that says that a fetus must always be referred to as "him/her" instead of "it." I can't help but notice every pro-choice or pro-abortion person on earth refers to unborn babies as "it" and I always think of those criminal psychology videos where the guy with the gruff voice says "They refer to her as 'my victim' because they're removing the humanity from the person they killed. They lack empathy for the human life they ended."

It's really fascinating to go through pro-choice blogs and see the pattern. They all refer to the fetus as "it."

"Abort IT"

"The choice to get rid of IT"

"Whether they want to keep IT or not"

Etcetera.

Imagine if all of them could remain pro-choice all they want, could get abortions all they want, but by law had to refer to the fetus as, when said out loud or in text, "him or her."

I feel like the number of pro-choicers would start to rapidly diminish if they were forced to refer to the fetus they're aborting as humanizing pronouns.

I totally agree that using “it” can definitely be dehumanizing language. You can kind of do it without thinking with how much it has seeped into society. I mean I’ve definitely done it before without even thinking because that was the language I heard and I had to make a conscious effort to stop.

But I for sure don’t think there should be a law that tells people what language to use. I don’t think compelled speech is ever a good idea or appropriate. And truthfully I don’t think there would be less pro-aborts, it would just be harder to tell who they were.

We need the people who have the bad ideologies and dehumanize others to be able to vocalize that so we know who they are.

Passing laws on what people can and cannot say never helps anything.

For people, like pro-aborts, who dehumanize others to justify murder and mistreatment, passing laws that dictate what language they are and aren’t allowed to use is not going to change their minds.

Thinking about how, while in ST1, Killer has to worry about how he could and would legitimately hurt even the people he cares about in other Stages simply because he was designed to be a danger.

Having to worry about people with “savior/hero” complexes getting hurt because they think they’ll somehow be an exception, or that it isn’t actually as bad as ST1 says it can and will be. Thinking about how he’ll have to constantly warn people that bother getting close to him, and constantly reminding people that, no, kindness isn’t enough to fix him.

For most parts of himself, kindness and mercy doesn’t even exist in their worlds. He won’t understand or care for your kindness if something triggered him into ST3.

ST3 only knows fear, aggression, and survival. ST4 seemingly only knows to kill and fulfill its duties; your kindness means nothing to those won’t be “tricked” by it or simply just writes you off as being weak for having mercy at all.

And he will be left with the overwhelming guilt and shame after. And he will have to deal with the rest of the Multiverse deeming him even more of a monster.

Or how the Multiverse demands him to react to things in a way they feel makes sense or the way they feel he should, trying to shove his jagged pieces into too small boxes they created for him in their minds. They demand guilt and remorse for Killer’s actions, not knowing that ST2 Killer simply isn’t capable of it, nor would he see the logic in feeling remorseful.

Papyrus was an obstacle. Why should he feel remorse for clearing the path and crossing off an objective? That makes no sense.

Why would ST3 guilty for surviving when Papyrus was weak enough to refuse to even fight? If you don’t understand what it takes survive, then why should your opinions matter? Make it your monster. If it means surviving, it’ll gladly prove you right.

Why would ST4 care about lines of codes, why would it feel bad for making Chara happy with its obedience, why would it feel bad for completing the mission and its tasks, why would it feel bad for being good? Its duty is to Chara, who is its everything, not Chara’s enemies.

They don’t know him. Why would they mourn who they don’t know?

It must be extremely exhausting and terrifying having to bare your soul and explain yourself to every person who enters your life, because they deserve to make informed choices and you don’t want to risk their lives for existing near you and you don’t want to get attached to those who’ll leave once they realize they were out of their depth.

And you can’t even muster the energy to be angry or hurt because you understand and you’re just glad you can’t ruin another life, even if it means you’re alone again and no one will understand what you are.

It’s as inevitable as death is. You’ll have to learn to accept it.

I bet he often yearns to just rewind time to when the thought of ever turning the blade on Chara was never even a whisper. Things made sense with them and they understood him because they made him and they were untouchable and could never die, despite how that knowledge used to plague him during those times. The world was what Chara made it, and they often made it a scary place, but it made sense.

Killer!Sans doesn’t have anywhere to go after Chara besides Nightmare and those who offer more don’t often truly understand how to help him or why he functions like he does.

Sometimes they accidentally make things worse in their confused but well meaning intentions and he’s often left as scared and angry as he always is, just wanting the world to leave him alone. He doesn’t want to live his life in fear but that seems to be the only option most days when even existing hurts him.

He’s often too much, too complicated, too confusing, too violent in his fear and anger, too broken to shove back together again. If he isn’t a bad person or a tool or an experiment, then he’s someone’s charity case or pet project.

Must’ve been reliving to have met someone as strong as Color, someone willing to bravely face the twisted mess that he is and still be kind enough to try and help, not because Color wants to boost his ego by “fixing” him or “taming” Nightmare’s pet murderer—but because it’s the right thing to do and he cares about Killer. And he doesn’t turn away whenever he finds something about Killer he doesn’t really understand or grasp completely.

notes after rewatching fallout s1 ep6

• this episode begins with cooper doing some masterful propaganda commercial work for vault tec • it's shown in black and white, cooper looks smooth and suave in a 50s way, he's smoking a cigarette and it's giving rod serling, he's in a suit and tie as he strolls the halls of vault 4 [the very vault lucy and maximus ended up at in the last episode] • so vault 4 has three foot thick lead casings, at least the vaults are annihilation proof • "strong enough to keep out the rads and the reds" cannot wait to see what kind of mind laundering barb did to cooper to persuade him to do content like this because • whew ok so i am going to make an attempt to explain the music choice here for the scene [because by looking it up, it feels like a choice made with express purpose]

• the instrumental playing here is titled "improvisation of "tchaikovsky's pathetique (andante)" by django reinhart. ok so what is tchaikovsky's "pathetique symphony"? well it's tchaikovsky's last symphony before his passing. what this got to do with anything? well it wasn't clear what this symphony meant [he never truly explained and he died suddenly] but some motifs with it that fans and studiers have explored something called tchaikovsky's "cross motif", parts of his own songs that he associated with the crucifixion, himself, and tristan [of tristan and isolde]. this motif is about star crossed lovers, y'all. i'll let y'all connect tour dots of your choosing for that one • pieces of this specific tchaikovsky symphony also have motifs of [catholic] requiems, some specialists in his work say this song deals with the power of fate in life and death--- all on wikipedia, there's so much more overtones just for this song and it's actually incredible in relation to this episode, i did not expect this

• cooper in the ad from two hundred years ago passing down the hallway with unit 428, the same exact street and unit lucy and maximus end up at • "meet the hawthornes" wait like the hawthorne institute right • "now this isn't just your average all american family, no lloyd and cassandra here are both scientists" and it's table of nothing but poc ✨ • when i first saw this ad filming scene, i thought they read their lines kinda funny but it really was because they were scientists and not actors lol • "wait a second, did you say "living down here?" well there hasn't been a nuclear incident, has there?" spine chilling--- played as a joke, in a commercial, the seriousness and direness being dismissed by vault tex • cooper doing a good ass take then giving that thumbs up [and to those actual ghouls in suits behind the vault windows looking in at the commercial set] • cooper thanking the scientists and kid actos for coming to do the scene 🥲 • you can tell cooper use to be background and stunt work because has so little ego and pomp when they yell "cut". he thanks the other performers, they're equals in his eyes

• cooper coming for bud's neck first meeting upon hearing that this mf is from west tek, love seeing him be mean to this guy • bud overseeing the rollout of the t45 power armour and talking about how bad the design flaws were without a hint of remorse for how many lives were lost to such a poorly produced piece of technology. "they looked great", if cooper would've punched him right then and there, i would've cheered • "product management was never my bag" what this mean for vault 31? • this conversation was crazy for two reasons, first, cooper is doing that thing again where someone is having a conversation with him but that man is not fucking listening--- barb is in the room and nobody and nothing else matters, he's done this like three times in the show and second, bud is talking to cooper like he's trying to pitch a product, all his conversations with cooper felt like that but the sinister thing about it is • "because what is the ultimate weapon to destroy your competition? it's not outselling them. it's not outsmarting them. it's time. time is the ultimate weapon." and we're told the entire thing, the play's the thing • time being the ultimate weapon means so much for this universe • "... when we almost lost the great state of alaska to the reds" you think they'll show the battle of anchorage or cooper fighting before the bombs fell? • bud is so devious. it's so satirical to me that i find him to be one of the most repulsive characters in this show. and they showed people eating people in this thing. and what do you know? he's like a manager or something. in the hr department. he might as well be as evil as mr. house lmao • i wonder if in the last two hundred years has cooper reflected on this conversation, it was abrupt but dull, almost like a business meeting, devoid of any long term meaning, one of the many inane conversations he's had with suits and yet... bud is telling cooper the exact vault 31 plans, a villain • cooper "i ain't reading all that. i'm happy for you though. or sorry that happened" bud's conversation to go be a wife guy with barb • the whole time, cooper and barb have been eying each other

• listen--- the way cooper slides right behind barb's back and starts kissing her shoulder, in front of like everybody, to the point of a staff barb was talking to leaves, i want to scream inside a pillow • you know? seeing cooper this type of romance and passion in the same episode he sews on that finger, i--- • "i'm at work." and cooper do not care, barb! y'all the only people in the room, baby. according to cooper--- "oh, how 'bout we clock out" he wants her so bad, i'm sick • "but what do you say you and me knock back a couple of pina coladas by the pool, listen to hifi..." the smile once present on barb's face slowly slides off as cooper says this. [cooper is such an introvert, swear] cooper just wanted to get out of there, be at home with his wifey ☹️

• going to be honest here and i say i don't like her throwing a party at their house without checking with or even telling cooper, it's kind of a pretty big red flag for her behaviour on out and i wonder if this is around the time she starts making the decisions that would lead to her and cooper's divorce • no a wrap party for an ad is crazy, vault tec was so in her pockets 😭 • lmao ok but when he thought the wrap party was elsewhere, the way he was like "ok so we go there for a little minute and talk then leave" like it was a game plan, he wanted to be home so bad lmaooo • "the things i'm willing to do for you never cease to amaze me" he would've gone to the ends of the earth for her, i think • i wonder, like the conversation with bud prior, does he reflect on this sentiment towards her. he kinda did and went along with whatever she said. until he couldn't • cooper and barb's house is beautiful btw • little easter egg is the paper cooper is reading at the wrap party in his bedroom says "nuka cola walks back new nuka" referencing coke's new coke fiasco 🤭 • cooper is looking at the vault tec ad of him for the vaults in the newspaper and i bet he's asking himself what he's doing • i don't like the parallel of cooper telling roosevelt he can't come down to the party to barb telling cooper dogs can't come into the vaults 😭 • "i'm heading into enemy territory" cooper is such an introvert 😞 but i also am curious if he's referring to the suits, the corporation and has always not liked this type of ideology and crowds anyways • didn't notice the second paper on the bedroom bench, it says "reds losing territory! troops deployed to far east" so things are clearly escalating [and apparently in the us' favour] • black is walton goggins' colour btw • this scene where cooper walks onto the stairs in front of his own movie poster for "a man and his dog" is one of my favourite scenes because like--- he oozes confidence, coolness, a man. it's a grand entrance, he's a star • this scene where cooper walks onto the stairs in front of his own movie poster for "a man and his dog" is one of my favourite scenes because like--- he oozes confidence, coolness, a man. it's a grand entrance, he's a star • "yeah, i love that one, too. it was my real dog." cooper says with such pride and warmth. it's one of the sweetest scenes in this whole show 🥲 • i really like this scene because fuck i don't love a big ass party at a big ass house • tbh cooper is smoking and drinking to take the edge off because barb really sprung this shit on him • cooper passes by some suits discussing what i can only assume is power armour but looking closely, it's a little weird. what do they mean "negotiations in anchorage are having a serious impact on presales."? are they fucking talking about peace negotiations, ceasefire? "we'll have to circle up with d.c. about that" nah wait what the hell that mean? what the fuck they talkin' bout??

• cooper is thrilled barb invited that freak bud askins to that house party lmao • ay lmaooo sebastian doing the codsworth impression for the pretty servers at cooper and barb's house party and him taking that as interest from them in him and him asking if when after their shift if they wanted to party in the hot tub and them telling him no 😭 • "you might be the only one of my invites who actually showed up" two things--- this makes my statement about cooper only really getting to hear the voice of sebastian in the mr. handy post war even sadder but this also suggests he's losing friends now because of this • this by me meaning vault tec and the whole vault system [and experiments]. i did not catch his career was already being effected by this. he was really willing to risk it all and well... for barb • "i think our hollywood actor friends don't want to be seen celebrating with the pitchman for the end of the world" you don't know the half of it. you hear i lost a movie over these ads? yeah, i showed up to set, the actors wouldn't come out of their trailers. bonnie lewis said it was on moral grounds." no but ok the fact that cooper was already being boycotted by his peers for this. he's already compromising his principles but it's still so inline with his principles. cooper can't yet see they're compromising his principles oof • he got boycotted by his peers then blacklisted by that corporation, oh this would be my villain origin story too--- did anybody who wasn't janey have cooper's back after the divorce? like • wonder what the actors thought about "the man from deadhorse"? • "... radicalism is sweeping through hollywood like a bad case of the clap." lmao jesus • "even got your friend, charlie whiteknife." "are you kidding me? charlie? i served with that guy." and his third eye has simply opened, blackballing machine go crazy in the "fallout" world • "but you my friend, you know which way the wild ins blowing. and it's that--- a world run by people who wear pocket protectors to a pool party." they also show someone with a pip boy. sebastian wasn't actually even joking • here's where the show gets so on the nose, why it might as well be a tissue--- sebastian admits he sold his vocal rights for mr. handy. cooper and sebastian discuss how much sebastian got paid for that. cooper says 10 million. sebastian is taken aback and says 186 pre tax. i'm not good with math so on first watch i assumed 186,000. which is the lowest ball for this. come to find out the wiki says this is the case. cooper asks if he could've asked for more. and sebastian basically implies all his agent could get him was his own mr. handy robot. bonkers. • "i thought the studio owned that character?" "they did. and then robco bought the studio." it's really hard to conceptualize in this episode but this is a fine indictment on the sinister underpinnings of capitalistic evil in this series • sebastian then goes on to say something very prescient. "hollywood is in the past. forget hollywood. the future, my friend, is products. you're a product. i'm a product. the end of the world is a product." i don't know about y'all but i think this is one of the scariest and most bone chilling things said and presented in this show. and this is a show with deathclaws and cannibals. my question is... does amazon know they're talking about them? they're about you too, honey • the fact this show is set in the post apocalyptic wasteland but still intrigues us with dystopian, late stage capitalistic doom both horrifies and fascinates me

• anyhow! the scenes ends and then segues into cooper lying down on the super duper mart floor. having somehow survived the chem binge of the century. i bet he was knocked out for twenty hours • the mr. handy repeating the exact line sebastian did in the scene before ☹️ • every time cooper open his mouth, i almost have tears in my eyes because why when the president [sorrel's] sheriff henchmen walked in on him to survey the situation and cooper says "now y'all here for the ice cream social, i'm afraid i got some bad news for you" lmao why the fuck he be talkin' to people like this, it ki lls me • could not immediately find anything about using teeth as bullets so for fallout i absolutely think it's mad to do lmao "using teeth for ammunition. always finding new ways to kill each other up there, aren't they?" ain't never lied • at first, i thought them asking lucy and maximus to stay for a few days was weird and that they were evil but as the next episode shows, they genuinely wanted to show hospitality 😭 • which makes maximus coming in thinking he's saving lucy with the power suit all the more hilarious and awful dkgdkfgdk • "you had a rotten human tooth lodged in your shoulder" it would take me weeks to go back outside lmao • maximus never experiencing a vault [i.e. real] doctor before • vault 4 got surface foragers

• don't blame lucy one bit for enjoying being in a vault again, the surface is a goddamn shitshow • birdie essentially being a survivor of shady sands, like maximus. so it makes this even more wild as hank's daughter, lucy, would to that vault [and shake things up and throw acid in a guy's face fldgldg] • birdie saying the shady sands blast was so big, they could feel it a three day's walk away. not good at math and cars are in the pasty so roughtly i'd say that's about or a little over a hundred miles away. that's diabolical hank could do that again after experiencing that for the first time on a larger scale before • lucy hearing about the devastation of shady sands. not a single clue it was her own father, oof--- • while in quarantine [as to not make the rest of the vault sick or precaution] lucy is staring at and flexing her hand with the new grey finger on it. wonder what's going through her head there

• maximus to lucy "you smell good" me: "huh?? the fuck he talkin' bout? 😭 • lucy looks down, just as fuckign confused as me. and then it dawned on here. he's a man • lucy is so casual, i love that in this vault 33 or like society or whatever that she hasn't been shamed with purity politics because she asks maximus if he wanted to have sex [vaultknight, this one's for you] • i feel like the very next thing maximus says after this made lucy reconsider the offer because why this man say "you mean use my cock?" man her eyes 😭 why he say thisss • the face maximus makes when lucy asks though, rental free ksfkdg • maximus calling getting an erection "that weird thing could happen" and ejaculation "it gets all big and hard like a big pimple and then it pops" has got to be one of maximus' hands down funniest and most disgusting lines in the show like what you mean pimpleee like what is the brotherhood of steel teaching these guys 😭 • lucy... is so sweet and sensitive, she doesn't laugh or get second hand embarrassment, she simply explains it's all natural and normal bodily phenomena--- remember she's a teacher 🥲

• on one hand yes i think he came back down from the cloud and remembered he's a knight and they take vows [lore doesn't seem to say of celibacy but i think show depiction of the brotherhood of steel might] • but on the other, i think he realises he might be out of his depth and inexperienced for someone like lucy anyways atm so he bows out [hilarious he does ask again later after a shower and some food though 😭] • lucy says her signature "okie dokey", lays out on the gurney and waits out the rest of the quarantine, maximus barely containing himself as he stares at lucy • a cute and downright hysterical scene but isn't it so 🤭 that maximus' pick up line was to tell lucy she smelled good? idk i just think it's oddly sweet • crazy how this scene is basically him rejecting her offer whew

• something about the way fallout weaves false narratives as an unreliable narrator--- i'd sure like a video essay on this because they do it with lucy's memories, they od it with moldaver's storyline, they do it with vault 4. i could name some more put i really enjoy this kind of twist, our presumptions and suppositions do not always service us in this narrative and what is expected often is not what is received • the song that played in this scene sounded so familiar to me so i looked it up and it's "theme from a summer place" by percy faith. "summer place" is a film. you know what the film is about? teenage lovers who broke it off but they reunite years later and find out the children from their individual marriages are they themselves teenage lovers. it's hard for me to articulate but something about this premise will come up again or be relative to the story, just something about this song choice feels important • the quarantine facility is labelled "test subjects" [but it's a red herring gldflgdl] • is lucy eating sugar bombs in the picnic table breakfast scene? • also--- ms. lucy getting that hair done and then it look good for all the rest of the episodes until the finale • you know in this scene, both lucy and maximus are not entirely wrong despite opposing views on vault 4--- maximus thinks the residents are trying to trap them [they aren't] "this is a cult. same as any." [lmao correct] "titus, this is a safe place, where people take care of each other." [correct, also forgot maximus is still donning the ruse here] • lucy and maximus are both in cults but only one of them recognizes a cult when they see it 😭 • maximus asking why? the vault is a safe place where people take care of each other ☹️ • lucy touching maximus hand. then attempting to feed him 😭 • i said this a few episodes back about maximus and thaddeus in the deception reveal scene they had and [besides dane's relationship with maximus] that situation was probably the closest either of them had to friendship. i am saying the same thing again for maximus but this time with lucy.

• maximus and lucy discriminating against this one eyed overseer like that upon meeting him 😭 • the music cue is so startling like please, just a one eye guy 😭 • i think if the overseer would explain why people shouldn't go to level 12, they wouldn't? maybe he operates on the assumption people know vault 4's experiment but i think talking about it would've avoided the situation it caused in this episode tbh • lucy starts discriminating again and observes people exhibiting unusual bodily abnormalities and/or differences. if you think about it, it's kinda fucked up how they act in this vault when a lot of them are surface dwelling shady sands survivors or vault experiment survivors hell or both 😭 • "lots of people have one eye" and lucy saw a two headed cow, what's her deal suddenly lgdgldl • i think it felt "normal" to see a brahmin because the wasteland is tainted, poisoned, unsafe. having that in a vault and appearing in people form is messing with her idealism and programming again. seeing such "imperfection" in vault dwellers is leading her to question the people and not the circumstances. everyone in vaults 31, 32, 33 are bred to perfection. she's seeing nonstandard humans and thinking something's wrong. when the truth is vault tec was conducting much more sinister experiments someone with one eye. the one thing she thought was "normal" shattered again

• somewhere in the wasteland, cooper is being lead by force by these fake sheriffs, the scene transitions to cooper and barb chilling in the hot tub • ok so the song in both scenes is "lonely hours" by gene armstrong, it's fairly clear what this song expresses but i know of wonder for whom • "doesn't get any better than this" you damn right, barb! cooper howard is fine as fuck, there i said it • somebody on here found the exact vintage martini glasses they used for this scene btw • cooper is at the peak of luxury and fulfillment but then asks barb "you ever... think about working somewhere else?" has barb always worked at vault tec? if i finf out their entire relationship was a conspiracy, i will cry myself to sleep • barb says she use to but with cooper doing vault tec ads now, it's like the family business. haha. what

• janey and roosevelt in the same scene ☹️ • "i think about it. quitting showbiz. buying us a ranch up in bakersfield. get back to being a real cowboy again." once more with that introvert bit inside of cooper. wonder which thing inspired him telling her this. you know what's crazy? that in a twisted, cursed way, cooper really did get back to being a "real cowboy" again after the war in the wasteland. i feel so incredibly sad for cooper. he really was just some cowhand who fell into acting • barb asking what she would do and cooper telling her raise chickens 😭 not @ the chicken scene in the first episode! cooper wanted to raise chickens 😭 • barb asking cooper what's gotten into him and this man says "a gin martini" ooo i love everything he ever says like

• the conversation was light but cooper goes on to confess "maybe i've been reading too much news lately. got me second guessing the whole city life." cooper is really and truly questioning his involvement in this vault tc shit and himself • this is the closest walton gets to abs in the series as aaron and ella both have their skin time, can definitely see that tight chest under all that water tho bless • barb has gotten out of the hot tub and starts fiddling with the pip boy, cooper sexily glares at her about it • cooper seems surprised she has one "bud askins... he licensed them from robco. we're integrating them with the vault tec admission systems." barb informs. here go this bud askins mf again • cooper is quite literally gritting his teeth hearing that man's name •"trust me, i know. the company's filled with guys like him. but vault tec exists with or without me." this goes for like any business but it's something about how telling of her individual motives are about this

• didn't realize barb told cooper "doesn't do anyone any good to complain from the sidelines." this is so funnily passive aggressive of her idk. because all cooper was trying to do was attempt to understand why she would put up with all this stuff and she just gets defensive--- he wasn't even demanding she do anything, he just doesn't get being around all these soulless corporate people • "all i'm saying is we have this one life. do you really want to spend your nine to five working with these assholes?" this statement might have basically caused a fight [also, it personally victimizes me because cooper has essentially lived five lifetimes after the bombs fell] • barb exasperatedly says "i need this job, coop. it guarantees us a spot in the vaults." cooper thinks they can just buy a spot in the vaults. then barb says "one of the good vaults." "what's that supposed to mean?" and i'm still with cooper, what the hell does this mean, barb? • i would've questioned my entire marriage after this conversation because

• this implies the entire vault system got something messed up going on with them and that going into a vault was inevitable, spooky • not at one of "the good ones" being vault 4 after the residents successfully were able to take it over and flourish 🥲 • "just.. trust me. please." in some ways, i wonder could she still have been trusted? i have a love/hate relationship with barb, i understand her motivations but not the implementation • anyways, barb was so pretty in this scene, like an evil barbie doll • on the tv in the bar cooper is in, the anchor says "as all nations race to secure uranium and control the future of energy, a shortage has emerged, turning even allies into potential competitors" remember how this entire first season is about different factions fighting over harnessing cold fusion? because i do

• starting to theorize nobody trusted each other and everybody dropped their bombs • ok so, i do not know why cooper met up with charlie whiteknife but i like it lol • seems cooper isn't afraid to be seen talking to charlie though, kinda ballsy • cooper reveals his disbelief at charlie apparently attending communist meetings. maybe he met up with him because he was a close friend and comrade • "we watched people die together up north fighting against all that horseshit." it's not like the hugest plot point or super prominent in flashbacks of his life but cooper is an [ex] military man. and this means i kinda forgot he's basically already [implied] to have killed people. [obviously for a cause but kill nonetheless]. he's been fighting and killing technically for over two hundred years. he's a veteran. that extra layer to his character when you rewatch the bait scene and his speech about torture and his confinement of being buried in a coffin by dom pedro to be dug up every year got a whole new meaning too

• charlie then says "yeah and for what?" cooper next "what do you mean, for what? for the american dream. we're actors. we make movies, charlie." "yeah the american dream has me getting shot in the ass by you all day." don't even know if i have enough space to cover what i think of this conversation--- i mean the topics range from the treatment of veterans when they come back home to the conditions and typecasting minority actors have faced in hollywood • cooper replies "you got five acres in tarzana. i think you're doing alright" cooper has some ignorance here but i digress. charlie tells him don't none of that matter, that vault tec is evil • cooper interjects "my wife works there. you really think barb's the devil?" you know this scene and line hurts like hell for several reasons, chief amongst them being that by calling vault tec evil, cooper takes this to mean barb is evil. walton has gone on record to say after spying revealed her true nature, cooper thinks she's the devil incarnate ☹️ that yeah, i guess barb is evil, that cooper thinks she is too and that cooper probably remembers this conversation. coope probably thinks of how naive and foolish he was to defend her or think highly of her in the first place 😞 • charlie sound like a conspiracy theorist but he told not a single lie. "do you know what "fiduciary responsibility" means?" cooper, ever our cowboy himbo responds "no, i have no fucking idea. i play a cowboy for a living" "ok, so the government has outsourced the survival of the human race to vault tec. vault tec is a private corporation that has a fiduciary responsibility to make money for its investors. and how does it make money? by selling vaults. but they can't sell vaults if the peace negotiations go through. so vault tec has a fiduciary responsibility to make sure that it don't work out.". cooper asks how they could do that and charlie simply reveals he doesn't know • ain't seen nobody talk about this but charlie starts explaining what vault tec is doing to cooper like cooper asked him "explain it to me like i'm a cowboy" 😭 • "you remember that movie we did with johnny morton? you were the sheriff and i was some generic indian?" "cooper, thoughtfully i suppose says "come on, man. don't say that. tallhand mudlake could talk to horses. you played him with grace and with dignity." i don't know but cooper really is a down to earth, sweet guy. and that's why maybe he met up with charlie, they seem fairly close • can i say how refreshing it is to see a show like this be so meta in different ways, having the indigenous character be the one to essentially be the canary in the coal mine about a company trying to bring about the ruin of the united states. i got chills. • "vault tec is a trillion dollar company that owns half of everything" sound familiar? • "i guess everything's a conspiracy, right? come on, man, you sound like you're in a cult" "and you're sitting here defending a system that's ready to set the world on fire, cooper. maybe you're the one in a cult." cooper has no rebuttal for this

• cooper questions his cog in all this again. that statement really had him silent. he had nothing to say for himself. if i thought he was having second thoughts about his involvement with vault tec before, this scene sure solidifies it now • charlie offers him a card of where to meet. at the hollywood forever cemetery [a real place!] then relays "you should learn the truth about where your wife works. for her sake." • the talk about cults in this episode is so ironic • the call cooper denies which was for barb was from hank, only knew this time because i read it, didn't even pick up on it • in the dinner scene [where cooper and barb have a pretty decent fight] there's a couple things about it but one of them i wanted to do was colour analysis. like i mentioned before, i saw a post on it and for various scenes, but for this scene in particular, i too find it curious barb is no longer in her red tone outfits. quite literally every outfit hers up until now has been peachy, pinks ,reds, earth tones, skin tones. but here. in this scene she's blue. a completely different tone and colour. cooper is wearing blue and yellow again [these are basically his signature colours] but barb in blue? very different for her

• not only is barb in blue but she also has on a pip boy. she even starts talking and acting different hence the fight • as an aside, janey reading "little house on the prairie" [a book about a young girl's life in the old west] to roosevelt is very cute • cooper thinks it's cute janey is reading to roosevelt so he goes "ah, does he like it?" with the cutest smile. mans loves his dog 🥲 • barbs lets out a sign and cooper asks her what is it. "it's going to be hard on her. that's all." "what is?" "you know, no dogs in the vaults." cooper stops mid chew. what the hell is barb talking about? • cooper's whole demeanor changes, he's not even chewing his food the same, he goes for a swig of wine but not before asking "says who?" • "no dogs is the vault says who?" "well... there's just. the um... that's the policy." dogs eating meat is an "unavoidable inefficiency". cooper is rightfully unsatisfied with this answer. "that's not really the question, is it? all i'm asking is who decided that there were no dogs in the vault?"

• barb decides to take offense again to cooper's probing of the machinations that be at this company. "well, i think that is a relatively trivial concern given the prerequisite conditions of living in a nuclear fallout shelter" it's something so disturbing about this conversation. and i believe this is predicated exclusively on the notion of displaying vault tec's lake of compassion and humanity. also, is this not a brainwashed barb? who is this woman and what have they done with barb? • cooper simply asks: who makes the rules? and that "no dogs allowed" must be new because it sounds like some shit that didn't get ran by anybody 😭 • "i mean, what else do you have in store for us? are the blue jumpsuits, are those mandatory? what i don't want to wear a blue jumpsuit? what if i want to wear a green one?" lol • barb is like "so the bomb falls and you want to know about your wardrobe?" "no, i want to know about my freedom." i want her to be serious • cooper explains to her that he didn't go to war defending that freedom so that he could live in a cellar under the boot of upper management. i really feel like barb is failing to consider what she is asking of cooper. roosevelt isn't a house plant or a car. roosevelt is cooper's dog. a dog he loved and so much, it was in one of his films. how is cooper inquiring about the policy implementation trivial at all? she's just awfully cruel to me about flippant here and the secrets she's keeping from cooper were already causing their marriage problems • i do not like barb's retort being like, a lecture to cooper about how sad and worried she was waiting for him to return from war. and he immediately yields to her statements--- like is sorry for making her worry about him. when was the one out in the field both watching people die and probably also killing some too. all for wildly misguided people like her. her experience is just not comparable to his so i just hate the way barb is in this scene. she's changed • "so, you do not need to tell me how bad war is, coop." i'm sorry, but what the fuck would she know? lmao

• when barb says "everyday i go into work and think about how humanity can survive a nuclear event that will wipe out 90% of life on earth and i come home and you're talking about hiding out at a ranch up in baskersfield" whoa whoa whoa--- where is this coming from? obviously i don't know the day to day conversations these two have but it's like she's minimizing his desire to step away from hollywood and then frame it into some kind of fantasy she thinks he was having. there's nothing wrong with his desire to do that and her making it seem like it was stupid and unreasonable don't sit right with me either because • barb says "you know, i don't even know what planet you're on sometimes, coop" and it's like? planet earth. why is she talking to him as if he's not a veteran or spokesperson for nuclear fallout shelters? why is she also talking to him like he go to work with her everyday? how could she imply a veteran has his head essentially in the sand?

• barb continues her harangue "and no, none of it is ideal. but if billions of people are going to lose their lives, i will do whatever it takes to make sure the people i love, that is you and that is janey, aren't among them. i have worked hard to make sure we go into a special vault for management, where we will oversee all of the other vaults. you don't get it. this is the best we can possibly hope for. for janey." well. barb's speech is a whole revelation. an unsettling and terrifying one. why, she almost sounds as if she's in a [doomsday] cult. why in the hell is barb talking like she knows the bombs will drop? also, how spooky is her saying she'll do whatever it takes to make sure the people she loves don't get blasted and i just. to what lengths will barb go through to do that? • cooper's face this whole time is a mix between a hurt puppy dog and a man questioning who he married, his principles, and the world around him • how insane is the best someone like barb can hope for in a vault is a management vault [vault 31]. how disturbing that vault tec ran so many experiments, "good" vaults were few • barb appears to have lost her appetite by now so she gets up. ever the sweetheart, cooper gets up to apologize to barb for their fight. and what he says next is so soul crushing and also ironic. • "i know you always try to do the right thing. that's what i love about you." oh, they're breaking my heart • love that the next scene is overseer benjamin explaining how a toilet works to lucy gdgkdfkd • overseer benjamin somehow for whatever reason thinking lucy's name is "goosey" maclean, is not an accident ☝️ they know that sounds like a certain other word associated when two characters in this show 💀 • lmao can someone explain why overseer benjamin put on bifocals to read a paper when he only got one eyes • overseen benjamin is a fifth generation vault dweller and lucy [being prejudice again 😭] is surprised to learn this. she almost tells him she thinks this because of his eyes but doesn't 😭 • fucking hysterical when lucy realises this one eyed overseer is prejudice himself against wastelanders when it's like? you think like him and also don't think vault dwellers look like him either 😭 • lmao why overseer benjamin got moldy drinks on his desk?

• overseer benjamin says he's open minded but then complains about the wastelanders smelly food and weird ideas. lucy asks him why he keeps accepting wastelanders if he himself doesn't even like them. then he reveals it's a vault policy lol • overseer benjamin is weird and not at all because he has one eyes [he's a bit of an insensitive jerk] 😭 • i don't get why overseer benjamin just didn't tell her in simple terms what level 12 is, being aggressive to lucy about it made her want to investigate it • lucy being told to skedaddle 🤭 • watching the scene where birdie comes across maximus trying to steal vault 4's fusion core is so different on second watch when you realize birdie was being nothing but truthful and warm to him • they're playing all the string music cues and everyone is regarded with suspicion but it's literally just maximus discovering comfort, community, and altruism for what feels like the first time 😭 • birdie even wrote him a welcome note in the gift basket 😢 • everything is played so darkly and then the camera pans to a beautiful scene of a waterfall on one of the tvs in his unit. then its a montage of maximus experiencing running water, television, and soap for after so long • we are then treated to a shot of maximus' shirtless torso. i have normal thoughts about this • lmao maximus tastes caviar for the first time in his life then exists his unit in a bathrobe and slippers, walks up to someone in the hallway and asks in the most boyish, innocent voice "excuse me. what is this? 🥺 " • they gave this mf three (3) bottles of champagne. take me to vault 4 like • lucy entering a vault classroom and stops smiling after confronting the magnitude of shady sands as displayed as history in said classroom • if lucy didn't think the ncr [new california republic] was real before, i'm sure seeing the flag in the classroom assured her

• not the place cooper is being dragged to called "the governmint" 😭 • there's wanted posters in this place and what do you know one of them is moldaver and one of them looks like cooper • we have finally arrived at the symbolic finger sewing on hand scene--- i mentioned that in relation to the finger biting off scene, it had a lot of meaning and i was going to wait until cooper did the thing to express it so here goes • i'll go ahead and put this out there now that yes, the argument could be made that cooper was simply attaching a finger as he needed a trigger finger to shoot and that's it. but. we see who cooper is. there's more to it than that and i'm going to explain further • sorrel talks for a minutes "i heard it was a ghoul that fucked up that super duper mart. nobody told me it was the ghoul. you boys know who you just brought in? this sumbitch right here used to be the best bounty hunter to ever shoot a man in the ass." you know the next thing that comes out of cooper's mouth? asking for a needle and thread • firstly, i find it all too interesting after being regaled about his past chaotic neutral exploits, he asks for a needle and thread. why does it feel like he's about to sew on a new lease on life, a new clean slate onto his hand? • secondly... well i have to bring up the string of fate, don't i? lucy may not have cooper's finger [too on the nose] but cooper has hers [just right] and by sewing hers onto his, they are connected forever • i find him directly asking for the needle and thread [to blow these guys away with a firearm] after shrugging off being called the best bounty hunter in the wasteland really somethin' • [because if he would've had his trigger finger back at the super duper mart, i imagine there would be no captivity of cooper] • one of sorrel's dummy henchmen says "sorry, we don't do a lot of kntting 'round here" and cooper hits back "it's called sewing", love he corrected this man lmao idk why • sorrel's first mistake was bringing cooper in there, his second mistake was letting him open his bag, and his third mistake was letting that man sew a trigger finger back onto his hand lmaooo • while the henchmen gets cooper's needle and thread, cooper is fiddling with his trigger fingerless glove, it's so subtle • the finger unfurls from cooper's pack to sorrel's visible disgust whilst cooper asks "do you mind?" to having his bound hands unbound [you can really see walton's hazel eyes in this scene btw] • sorrel scared as hell of this two hundred year old war veteran bounty hunter ghoul, hesitates and naturally. "aw, come on now, sorrel, we old friends, ain't we?" are they? he saw what happened at the super duper mart and he's shaking in his boots lol • sorrel cuts cooper's ropes and then quaintly says "look at you. 200 years. i don't know what keeps you going... or maybe you're still looking for her." cooper has already began sewing on lucy's finger. it is shown in a closeup. however, as soon as sorrel says "her", cooper cuts sorrel a glance. when i first watched this scene, i think i thought he meant moldaver. but i think it's obvious it's janey

• cooper slyly hits back with "well, sorrel... i can confidentially cross one reason off that list for you. i sure as hell ain't still alive so that i can have unintelligent conversations with dipshits like you." one of sorrel's henchmen does not like this back talk and hits cooper in the head with the butt of his gun, knocking cooper's hat off. i see why king knocked his block off • "mind your fucking mouth. that's the president of the government you're talking to" cooper's brow is furrowed but he humourously complies "you a president now?" • and then he says "well then you might want to hire a publicist" do the people even know what that is 😭 • cooper saying conversations with someone like sorrel are "unintelligent" after discussing studies on torture with lucy in the bait scene is so • cooper asks sorrel about moldaver. "they call her the flame mother. now that bitch is dangerous." cooper ironically replies "well, when it comes to leadership these days, dangerous is what they call a prerequisite" cooper really reads it, huh

• as sorrel starts to ask cooper if he knew why he was dragged into his outpost, the camera once again pans to cooper sewing lucy's finger to his hand • it's so subtle it's almost plausible it wasn't on purpose but as cooper puts some of the final loops to connect lucy's finger to his hand, the thread forms a heart. in the same moment, cooper takes full responsibility for what lucy did at the super duper mart • i mean, we could be here all day arguing about why he did this. like there's so little reason when he could just implicate her and make her the target of a new bounty. more caps and vials for him. in any other instant, perhaps he would have. but not like this and not over lucy • you know, in the finger biting off scene when cooper says to lucy "now that right there is the closest thing we’ve had to an honest exchange so far"? well i think he also wanted to get honest feelings out of her by messing with her, too. and this indeed was the most honest reaction they both had and with each other. because she spent most of her time preaching her vault propaganda to him and he was nothing but forthcoming with her about everything tbh. now why he needed honesty hour to be gloveless and with losing fingers, that's anyone's guess. she surprised him with that bite, i suppose. but she also surprised him with her principles.

• cooper is a deeply romantic, protective, and once upon a time, a good man. i think after his encounter with lucy, all those qualities are manifesting themselves inside him again. and because of lucy. and him sewing lucy's finger to his hand symbolizes that • i know this is bizarre but this is indeed the "fallout" universe. this ism't the most disturbing intertwinement. a post here said that lucy biting off cooper's finger was a proposal and cooper sewing her finger onto his hand was him accepting and that was a wasteland promise ring, still laughing about this and while i don't exactly ascribe to the literal theory, i do think some type of promise was made, whether cooper to himself or cooper to others • going back to the finger biting off scene, i couldn't help but ponder why a. cooper was gloveless and b. how he managed to keep all ten of his fingers this long after two hundred years • i can't quite gather why cooper was even gloveless but the closest theories i've seen an agree with is display of vulnerability. whether by accident or not, i do think cooper was attracted to lucy's goodness, saw [both himself and] barb inside her and wanted to poke and prod such an outlook. he's seen where it can go. goodness and morality in the wasteland is horseshit. but lucy proved him so wrong. • fingers are a semi important motif and particularly to cooper. in episode three, we see him go out of his way to touch barb's fingers when she gives him the lavender taffy. it is an intimate exchange. so too is the finger biting and finger cutting off scene. a gothic depiction of intimacy.

• lucy and her finger symbolizes something cooper has that's not so obvious to the viewer and that's hope. sure, it's demented he cut her finger off and sewed it onto his hand but she did bite his finger off first, tooth for a tooth, fair is fair slgdgldl [at least she got another one herself] • every time he looks at that finger and every time he uses it to play judge, jury, or executioner, cooper will carry the spirit of lucy's moral compass with him. that's some crazy symbolism, i think • it really seemed that by trying to "help" lucy by teaching her hard lessons of the wasteland, cooper opened himself up to harm and vulnerability with his gloveless hands. every scene with his gloveless hands has something to do with lucy. • two hundred years and kept all ten fingers until this random girl bit one off? he saw something inside her it clouded his self preservation • 'cause i fucked up a poor, defenseless gang affiliated organ dealership" lmaooo he's in love so bad, he ain't do nothin' but go on a drug bender in that ho 😭 • for probably the first time in decades, he's taken the fall for someone else. a selfless act. quite literally altruism. he doesn't have to do this and yet • this is devoted cooper in action. lucy is a ray of sunshine and goodness in this awful world, no wonder he wanted a bit of her on him. so when he tells her "nothing stays clean up here, vaulty." he was kinda wrong. because now he has something "clean" and and good. and it's lucy's finger

• anyways so sorrel's like "but that super duper mart you gutted was under our protection. so if i wanted to let you go scot free, folks might lose faith about what we're trying to do here. and then what?" "anarchy in the streets" everything this man says is funny af, i'm howling • another thing! dom predro has been digging cooper up every year for thirty years to cut pieces of him off [to do who knows what]. when lucy bites cooper's finger off, she ends up having his blood in her mouth. a part of him is also in her too. this is gothic. also! is him cutting off her finger not a trauma response 😭 he's been cut off of before so he's just acting out of his captivity atp like my goodness, they messed him up so bad • lucy fucked up that organ trafficking ring up so bad, sorrel was really trying to feed cooper to his pigs lmao • it's so nutty lucy has caused so much chaos than cooper has--- he shot siggi's leg off and had a shoot out in filly but damn he did not take out a gang affiliated organ trafficking ring ran in a grocery store. he was actually helping them keep it open like 😭

• there's something so special about sorrel asking cooper if he has anything to say in his defense and as cooper says "guilty as charged" and sorrel asking "just like that?" and cooper flexing lucy's newly sewed on finger on his hand as he goes "just like that" ❤️ • you can't tell me he's not about to go to the ends of the earth for her fkdgdkd • this was his opportunity to turn her in and possibly get a bounty from her or just tell the truth but cooper did. not. do. it. • there was something about the way he sewed lucy's finger on, too [i don't care if i'm reaching] but it reminded me of his and barb's scenes, where if she was in the room, nothing else really mattered. made no difference if it was conversation he was having or what. his attention was on barb the whole time. this scene reminds me of that because he focused on sewing lucy's finger on his hand for the majority of his and sorrel's conversation

• cooper is so?? because why he implicate himself in the actual thing he did with the shootout in filly? "now, if you need anymore evidence, i can tell you about this town i just shot up, filly. oh i must have killed nine or ten people" all in self defense, your honour, please 😭 • y'all don't understand. he's going the extra mile now. he's providing evidence for something he didn't do. he's implicating himself even more by diverting all suspicion to him to cover for lucy. there's no reason for him to do this. • cooper, somehow knowing sorrel got stupid henchmen, starts baiting one of them through the old "you're a coward" "no i'm not" technique • sorrel "don't take the bait, son" then cooper, "well i ain't fishing". nah he did that earlier gldgdlfgld • well anyways, cooper gets out of this pickle pretty quick and gets the upper hand and shoots sorrel's henchmen sheriffs dead and multiple times • didn't realize cooper threw the guns at their bodies after • cooper doesn't recognize moldaver's mugshot

• back in the past, cooper takes up charlie's offer for a meeting and drives up to hollywood forever cemetery • the car cooper is in is a 1954 kaiser darrin • i don't know why cults is sort of an underpinning of the theme of this episode [which is about traps of various kinds] but the comparison and contrast between cooper's and lucy's "cult" meetings and them both being about moldaver is such a plot twist • cooper and lucy both going to these meetings thinking they won't fit in but end up learning something anyways • admittedly the vault 4 cult ritual or whatever was a little weird but it's pretty much how the survivors are coping so i get it tbh • maximus asking lucy "you want to make my cock explode now?" "what?" "sorry, intercourse?" screaminggg, what a gentleman 💀❤️

• "these people are insane." "yeah, they're like you. a little weird but nice." 🥲 • lucy trying to talk maximus out of leaving vault 4 because they were scaring her and she thought it was dangerous ☹️ • lucy goes to level 12 to snoop around in these people's house • turns out level 12 is a horror show but not because of the residents, but because of vault tec • it's wild the stuff lucy saw of level 12 was just shit her father hank signed off on and agreed with • the scientist whose face lucy threw acid in was the same man who nodded at her during the breakfast scene 😭 • them trying to restrain her makes so much sense after this • lucy tells them they're crazy but birdie says "i'm sure if we came to your home, we would say the same thing", first viewing i thought birdie was ridiculous for saying this but second viewing is knowing she is right • they show maximus again eating popcorn, getting the taste of safety and comfort again after years 🥲 • this episode was about traps of all kinds--- the situations people find themselves in, the situations people put others in, the trappings of fame, fortune, power, money. literal traps, figurative traps. traps of the mind and traps of the soul. the worst part about being caught in a trap is not knowing you're in one.

18, 19, 27, 38 for supercorp!!💙

18. What are they like when they're drunk? How do they act together? & when 1 is drunk, while the other one's sober? okay we've seen both of them drunk before, and i feel like that rings true for me. kara is a silly and giggly and probably very touchy feely (with lena only) and lena strikes me as a depressed drunk, especially since we've really only seen her get truly drunk was when she thought she poisoned the city's children with lead. however, i think if she gets drunk with kara she is also probably a little bolder, maybe drops her filter more. she's flirty and much more suggestive. if only one of them is drunk, i think sober lena would be exasperated but also extremely enamored by drunk kara. she'd be so SOFT with her and have a smile on her face the entire time, even when she drags her home to get some rest. and if kara is the sober one, it depends on what mood lena is in. if she's being suggestive, kara would be a blushing, stammering mess until she can get them home where she can actually act on what she wants to do in response. and if drunk lena is depressed, she'd instantly switch to protector mode, adamantly reminding lena of her goodness and threatening to throw anyone who hurts her into space.

19. What do they fight about most often? (Alternative: what was their biggest fight?) i mean, their biggest fight will always be the fallout after kara's identity reveal. and honestly, i think it probably remains the thing they fight about the most for a long time. wounds like that don't just go away, even if you've talked and reconciled and moved past it. sometimes it just hits you (also i'm a SLUT for angst). if we're going with a version of events where kara tells lena in 2x15 (which is when i think kara had the perfect opportunity), i genuinely don't know what they'd fight most about. i've been sitting here thinking about different possibilities, but honestly it feels like they wouldn't really argue over small stuff more than a few times. after that, they just learn to compromise and move forward. (if you're curious, my top choices in that department were food and tactical strategies, but it just felt weird thinking they'd continuously fight over either of those things)

27. Craziest place they had sex? oh, hands down in the air. maybe in space.

38. If/when they have kids, what is their parenting style (or pets-who does what)? hmmm i think i'm gonna go against what i think most people expect and say, in terms of like a "good cop, bad cop" scenario, lena is good cop and kara is bad cop. kara is a fierce protector and it's something she never got to do with kal. and this is their child. she is going to make sure that kid is safe above all else. meanwhile, lena came from a family that never showed love or affection. she'd absolutely be the one to say yes to everything. she'd be more inclined to let their kid have fun and be a kid without the burden of any sort of expectation. not that i think kara wouldn't also shower the kid with copious amounts of love, but she just usually has to be the one to put her foot down.

send me a ship + questions!

Sneak preview to Goddess of Loneliness

As promised here's a sneak preview of Goddess of Loneliness

I hope you like these sneak previews it'll be random and have a look of what's to come ^^ also it's all happy moments can't show you guys the angst yet ^^

Maya smiled as Vaughn grabbed her hand and lead her inside the building.

"You got me a private concert?"

Vaughn turned and smiled at his beautiful girlfriend.

"Of course I did Beautiful, you deserve good things and I'm lucky to be one of them,"

Maya blushed as Vaughn lead her into the concert hall were BTS and Taylor Swift awaited her.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Maya smiled as she ran to Brandon King, her one and only friend.

"I'm so happy to see you Maya,"

"I am too,"

They pulled back and she looked down and saw a little girl clinging to Brans pants.

"Oh, who's this,"

"Oh, Maya meet your niece, Azaliya,"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"You hurt our family Maya!" Mia shouted at her sister, Maya glared at her screw it she was done with Mia and her hypocritical ass.

"You're right Mia I hurt you and I fucked up but you? You hurt our family as well,"

"What-"

"You're fucking the guy who kidnapped our brother and was responsible for getting him in the hospital, you're fucking the guy who set the Heathens mansion on fire with the intent to kill our cousins, our brother, and your friends you're fucking the guy who wanted to kill our cousin who's your best friend because he was dating his little sister!"

Maya glared at Mia and than at her mother,

"If I'm an awful person for hidding something for so long-let's ignore the fact I was a fucking child! What does that make Mia mom what would you call you're precious daughter who despite knowing all the shit her fiancee has done still decided to get in bed with him and date him! And let's also not forget how when our brother dearest tried to get back at him your precious daughter decided to attack and make him feel bad about it,"

She glared at Mia.

"You say I ruined our family with my jealousy but what have you been doing to our brother Mia? Niko won't say anything because of Bran and I get it I do because I love Bran as well but unlike Niko I'll say the quiet part out loud I ruined you by being quiet but unlike I didn't have a choice unlike you Mia I was afraid to speak in fear of getting killed you on the other hand chose to sleep with Landon and hurt our brother you chose to be with Landon because you are a selfish person who would rather let everyone around her suffer!"

She glared at Mia and at her mother.

"It took me to long to realize this but deep down Mia you're no different than me, you claim to be no different from girls like me when in reality you are nothing but a liar, a fake; you always promise but fail to deliver because deep down you know Mia, you know you're just as fucked up as I am and if given the chance you'd stab your family in the back without hesitation...oh wait you already do that every night you sleep with the punk that almost killed our brother!"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Welp here it is ^^ I hope you guys like these little moments we are two screenshots away from getting updates from the heart was build to break and born sinner as well as to kidnap a lotus flower ^^ remember keep streaming right place wrong person and send me those screenshots ^^

FHJY Finale Thoughts: Episode 20

Disclaimer: I know I've been really negative about the last two episodes but I do actually have real criticisms, and I will try my best to not be just 'I hate this' about everything. No promises though. Also, none of this is hating the IH or Bleem. I respect that they're very fucking tired when shooting this and don't have a week in between episodes to think, and so these criticisms are made with that in mind. Also feel free to debate and discuss, I just wanted to share my opinions and try to pinpoint where the narrative went wrong, or where BLeeM could've made a better DM choice, but I love hearing other people's thoughts!

The Battle

The allies: Again, they have too many advantages! There is no concern here! Also, having the allies would've been more helpful at the beginning of the fight. Now? When half of The Rat Grinders are dead? When they've already hurt Porter and Jace? We know how this goes, just break out the champagne already. I appreciate that Brennan made it a Nat 20 check though, that was for me. (I do like the callback to the calling for Sklonda and the police from the freshman year finale.)

Served up a plate of redemption arc: Let's be clear here. Fig did not try to give Ruben redemption. She helped brutally kill his friends and told him 'join us or meet the same fate.' And he stuck to his guns. I'm positive that if the Bad Kids had been remorseful at all, then Ruben would've given it some serious consideration, but like this? No dice.

Kipperlilly Copperkettle: Fucking W's this entire battle. That speech Brennan gave was undeniably false and full of contradictions though. She is the definition of what Aguefort defines as a hero, but because she's antagonistic to the Bad Kids, suddenly she's a villain or boring. Also, no practical application? She dug up a teacher's grave! She killed Buddy! She might've killed more people! Her stealth is just that good that she wasn't seen at all this year! There's no world where anyone can reasonably say she has no practical application.

Mary Ann: Yeah, again. The fact that she's willingly taking 18d10 lava damage to try and kill Fig, this is undeniably a meltdown, and if anyone makes fun of it, I'm meeting them in the parking lot outside. Also, telling her she chose the wrong team, they don't know TRG! Those are her friends! How dare they say she chose the wrong team, they didn't even choose their team! Whatever!

Jace and Porter: Let's be honest for a minute here, without them in episode 20, I don't think I would've even had the strength to finish the episode. (My take on their dynamic is Jace is over here having sex with his coworker and then Porter rage stars him. And gives him 6/7 kids to watch over. Jace isn't getting paid enough for any of this. Porter chose him because he's really fucking angry under the cheerfulness, and that would be useful as a worshipper. And sometimes they fuck. Also, they hate each other.) They're literally divorcing during this fight but they were never married. They're so fun!

Squeem and Balthazar: I think the problem with this fight is that it didn't feel serious enough. There was no worry for the Bad Kids, we knew Porter and Jace would be taken out, we had a ton of allies, the victory was guaranteed and so no one was taking it seriously. Because of that, we kinda lost the plot. In past IH seasons, they've been pretty good about keeping the tone of the finale serious, if not a little goofy, and it feels odd to just have a ton of bits in the finale and then try to go into emotional shit. None of it matters! The plot was set up in earlier episodes, but we didn't give a shit about it here! (I have no problem with them being funny, this is the chill 'nothing's serious' season, but also we've been serious before! We've had plot before! It's just kinda disappointing. Also, I don't give a shit about Squeem or Balthazar at all because they were here for maybe 1 or 2 episodes)

Dispel magics: Given the way the finale goes, I'm glad they didn't just pull out dispel magics on The Rat Grinders (the whole 'rage stars completely take over you and change your personality' bullshit is not my vibe), and I'm taking it to mean dispel magics probably didn't work after you've had the rage star for too long, but why? They were just kids too! Operating under the rage stars! They didn't even try to un-ragify any of TRG! No fucking empathy to be seen in this house.

Agent Cuspin Clark: I get that he's one of Brennan's self-inserts, he's also a cop, and only funny as a bit. I want him dead.

Ankarna: I would've liked to have seen more of a split, like, Porter is here and calling on her as the goddess of War, and Fig's here calling on her as the goddess of Justice. I would've liked some back and forth between her and the two of them. Like Porter being like 'kill them all' and Ankarna agreeing and Fig asking 'is this just?' and Ankarna being split between the two. As above, so below.

Divine Intervention: I'll be honest, just a solid fuck no. Fuck. No. I'm aromantic, so maybe this is something funny for the allo's, but I genuinely don't understand why. First off, like maybe only 5% of teenagers actually care about their virginity. They're all too busy with other things to worry about if they've had sex or not, no-one cares. Second, the idea that you HAVE to lose your v-card sometimes feels like it's bordering on the edge of sexual coercion. Sex is great, no-one should feel like they have to lose their virginity, or like any of that fucking matters. (I'm not blaming Fabian or Mazey, or any of the other Bad Kids, (I have some really good Thoughts™ on Fabian and his relationship with sex re: Sophomore Year, but that's not for this post) I think they're just parroting what they've heard and they don't realize what they're doing, but still.) And the fact that it's posed as an injustice and not, y'know anything to do with his family, or him being a maximum legend, or hell, the fact that he's going to have a half-sibling that his mother is going to be present for? Sex isn't that important. Also, I know it's funny to have an extremely powerful goddess do something funny, but I think it's an injustice (lol) to Ankarna to have her care about specifically this. Also, Ankarna's not mad about him lying to her? About him trying to kill her?

Epilogue

Riz being unfair to Fig and Kristen: I don't honestly think Riz has been unfair to Fig and Kristen throughout this season. (Yes, I'm mad he didn't do more introspection about him and Kipperlilly being foils. No, this is separate from that). Like, maybe if he had been forcing them to do it all on their own, then yeah. But he's out here helping Kristen's campaigns. He's taking stress tokens so Kristen can pass. He's helping Fig manage her workload and figure out what she wants to do with classes. And he does need them to do well so he can go to college so if he's a little overbearing, who cares? (Yeah I really think he should've had some introspection on him being similar to Kipperlilly. Because prevent change? Promoting fairness has like nothing to do with preventing change.)

Vignettes: Those were sweet honestly. Not a lot of notes there, it is a HARD pivot from silly to emotional, but it's sweet once you get over that.

Ankarna: I get that it's comedy, and it's really fucking funny to have a goddess be really fucking powerful and then turn around and make her nice or whatever, but Ankarna's not going to be a chill god! Even when she's not the goddess of war and conquest, her domain is summer, justice, conviction. None of these things are chill! These are all intense things, and justice can be very black and white. I don't know, I'm just annoyed that there's this running trend of 'if you're a god of the Bad Kids then you're nice, and if not, then you're either a dick or a turncoat or useless.' Gods are gods. They're fucking neutral, and people are either going to like them or hate them or not give a shit about them, but none of that means they're good or bad. Also, Fig's worship of Ankarna, despite how sweet it seems, really does have the feeling of 'he doesn't know what's good for you, but I do, and it's what you want to be (provided you want to be the uncorrupted version of you).' Which is very terms and conditions, I want you to be you as long as you are "good."

Hypocrisy: It's really funny that in the middle of battle, it's 'brutally kill the kids, even once we realize that a dispel magic has a chance of removing the rage stars' and outside of battle it's 'people aren't just black and white. they can be bad but they don't deserve to get sliced in half.' This is the function of DnD, to kill the bad guys mercilessly, which means playing with foils and doubt and anger doesn't work with a 2 episode combat finale.

Kalina: She wasn't evil. She simply wasn't. She's a fucking familiar, and tied to Cassandra, and can't be evil. This is full retcon behavior, and it fucking sucks. I hate it.

Mary Ann: I will scream it to the fucking roof if I have to, just because she's autistic, does not mean she was unaware. Just because she followed along with the plan at first, doesn't mean she didn't stay with the group for three years, full of rage. She's not evil either, she's 17 and fully manipulated, just like the rest of TRG. Every single IH is being weird about her. (But slay, for voting for yourself.)

Henry: He loves his nephew! Why isn't he doing anything? And if he was here the entire time, what, he's just fine that Fig eternally damned Ruben? Get yourself a personality!

Lucy: One, I think it's really funny if Lucy does in fact have a mini crush on Kristen and that's part of why Kipperlilly hates Kristen so much. Two, I am a firm believer in Lucy having also, at the very least, disliked the Bad Kids so I'm not a fan of her in the finale episode. Also, she's allowed to be glad they were killed, they killed her first, but to make no mention of Kipperlilly not coming back? Just nothing? (I adore Lucy being Kipperlilly's best friend and also crush, and Kipperlilly being Lucy's crush but Ruben being her best friend. The implications.) There was so much emphasis put on her coming back that to just have like 10 seconds of conversation with her and move on, dead wife montage for real.

The Rage Stars: Nope. Nope. Fucking nope. Nope. Forgetting everything they did? Then who gives a shit? They're all fucking innocent and nothing matters and you brutally killed 6 teenagers for no fucking reason and everything's sunshine and unicorns. Just, every teenager is so fucking angry, and the fact of being a teenager is you have to deal with the consequences. So if you full on beat up a dude, you have to go to school with them until you graduate (they'll get over it in like a month). Like, in reality, the rage stars most likely just amplify any rage they actually have, but don't completely change their personality. This season is about 'chaos isn't cute anymore,' so to have TRG do a bunch of shit but face no consequences is. The themes guys, the themes! Also, the idea that Oisin and Ivy remember more because what, they were more willing to be angry? Every single one of them was willing to be angry. And Kipperlilly's dead! Staying dead! Because she "willingly" chose it? After being manipulated by an older teacher, who we know is charming enough to deceive Fig and Gorgug, how willing do you think it was? But whatever!

Refusing to bring back KLCK: Honestly, refusing to bring back Kipperlilly highlights the problem a lot of people have with mental disorders, which is that you can be mentally ill, as long as you NEVER hurt anyone, or as long as you don't have an "evil" disorder. I've seen a lot of people headcanon Kipperlilly with more demonized disorders (I've seen BPD, Bipolar, OCD (real OCD, not the romanticized bullshit), personally I think she's repping us NPD peeps, but they're all great headcanons) and I think it really speaks to the way that some people see certain disorders as evil. You can be mentally ill, but god forbid you need attention to be normal, or have intrusive thoughts about murdering your best friend, or etc etc. Y'know what? God forbid mentally ill people do a murder.

Mary Ann "Redemption?": Just full on. If Mary Ann/Gorgug have 0 haters, assume I'm fucking dead and there's no afterlife. First off, the Bad Kids have been weird to her all season. Half of them have been terrified of her, and calling her evil, for tackling Gorgug, in a game where the MAIN GOAL is to tackle your opponents!! The other half of them have been infantilizing her and acting like she had no choice in anything and was just forced to join TRG. So the idea that she'd be just cool with that, is only acceptable if we take the idea that losing the rage star means you lose all the memories of what you did under the rage star. Also, the idea that as a female character, she's only redeemable (to Gorgug) if she's a potential romantic interest strikes me as misogynistic. Like, no! Just let her be a friend! I'd take weird sidekick friend over Gorgug's girlfriend. (None of this is on Mary Ann, she can have whoever she wants. I don't like the Bad Kids' side of it).

Worshiping Cassankarna going viral: I know the problem at the start of this season was that Cassandra didn't have enough followers, but also like the first essay Kristen writes is about how not every religion needs to have a ton of followers. Isn't it more important that people believe strongly than that you're well-known? (Also, them getting on Tracker for backing her religion with money, but making her religion go viral is like. Double standards.)

Arianwen: She lost her magic. How is she able to be a powerful wizard at work in the forest without magic? (Adaine and Aelwyn do deserve to kill her though, as a treat!)

Telemaine Lomenelda: Right, so that weirdly pointed racist remark he made to Riz, we're just going to be cool with that? Also, to leave Wolfsong in charge of Kei Lumennura and then turn around and be like, Tracker's not in charge anymore. Who's running Kei Lumennura? Nara? Because the IH seem to think she's too stupid for anything.

The child: That child is not Fabian's nemesis, it is the other way around, and he slowly falls in love and keeps pushing the date where he fights the kid back and back until it's just a family joke at that point. Fight with the wall. (I know, comedy show, this one's just a complaint. I think it's more funny if the child full on loves Fabian and he's over here like 'I will kill you when you're 18. Now, time for a nap!')

Wolfsong and Tracker: My thoughts on Wolfsong are just. Tracker wasn't doing anything wrong with Wolfsong. It's not like she went to a place and said 'your religion is wrong, worship my superior religion'. Tracker is providing a different view on Galicaea and we know not every elf believes the way she does! But she's not telling them they're wrong, she's leaving them alone! And having a little money is not the worst thing. Giving people a free place to sleep and free food is not the worst thing in the world. And calling Wolfsong a cult when the Bad Kids walked in, got a tent and hot chocolate and were able to have fun despite not being believers? (I know they're Tracker's friend, hush) Like, she cares about people and she's giving them somewhere to go. And they're not in a basement covered in mosquito bites so is it all bad? It does feel like a nice 'gotcha' moment for the IH so they can be like 'we were right for completely distrusting our close friend and her religion and her girlfriend, because that's what good friends do!'

Girlfriends and exes: Look, if Tracker and Kristen want to be messy exes who get back together again, I'm fucking all for it. I love them in an off again on again situationship. I also love Gertie and Naradriel, and it really feels like this is just to reward Kristen, and not like, an actual decision Tracker would've made. Also, calling Naradriel stupid? I am always up to bat for her! I can not stop defending her or people will think she's just a dumb kid! I think Gertie should absolutely hold a grudge, but to make her be all 'you should've never kissed me if it wasn't going to be forever' and then everyone laughing at Gertie feels iffy. Because that is how it feels in high school, and obviously that's a stupid way of feeling, but it's equally real and valid. And also it feels like another 'gotcha!' moment for Kristen to be like 'yes, I'm hurting someone's feelings, but they're being weird about it so it's fine, and I'm still a good person.'

In my on going journey to find a fic where Jonathan and Nancy at least talk through if not fight about how Jonathan has been treating and lying to her, and the way she was looking at/flirting with Steve in s4 I have found that, with the majority of these few fics, Jonathan’s choice to not tell Nancy is framed as him being noble or making a sacrifice for her. That he is breaking up with her to avoid making her miserable.

This is fascinating to me because while I now think they should for sure break up, I went into st4 pretty neutral on jancy, and thought everything Jonathan was saying was cowardly. I think HE thinks he’s making some noble sacrifice for Nancy’s sake, but he is not letting Nancy know about it nor is he letting her decide what she wants (to stay with him or to breakup) based on the actual facts of what Jonathan is doing/will go for college. He’s just. Letting her wonder why he’s being avoidant and distant, worrying about weather he loves her still (which is partly why her eyes wonder in s4).

Jonathan isn’t breaking up with her. The whole point of his rant to argyle is that he ISN’T breaking up with Nancy. He’s avoiding her so he doesn’t “trap” her. He’s already lied to her about applying to the university she thinks they’re going to together and so he barely talks to her and starts they are in a “slow-mo breakup”. It seems like he is avoiding talking to her in the twisted hope that she breaks up with him, because he cannot bear to do it. He’s already trapping her in this relationship he’s so terrified of.

Nancy does not know what is going on in his head. All she knows is her boyfriend is avoiding her. Cancelling plans or calls. To the point where she thinks there is a possibility (however small) he might be cheating on her. That’s not a good place for a relationship to be! Why would she think what he has done is admirable and self sacrificial when she has been suffering due to his actions and choices and the assumptions he’s made about their relationship and future without asking her? Why would she feel he did what he thought was right when she has been kept in the dark and lied to, openly, and mislead about their supposed shared future plans? When he was too nervous to talk to her plainly about his worries and fears so instead let them dictate how he treated her.

Jonathan cannot be open and honest to Nancy because of his fears, but also because of that same fear he doesn’t rip the bandaid off. He cannot be the one to breakup with Nancy because if he is, he is definitely the bad guy. If he breaks up with her, he shatters any semblance of the idea that he is in the right, that he is making a sacrifice by not letting Nancy hypothetically make one. And he doesn’t want to examine himself or his actions that would make it abundantly clear what he’s done wrong.

By forcing Nancy into a position where she is unsure of the strength of their relationship, where she doesn’t have all the information to actually make the decision about the future he assumes she will make (that she is actually unlikely to make) he is doing what he fears he would be if he was honest about college. Trapping her in a relationship where they eventually grow to resent each other.

And idk. Im honestly surprised this isn’t a more widespread assumption? That Jonathan is being cowardly for lying? But it isn’t? Posing Jonathan refusing to communicate with his girlfriend as noble while she has actively questioned his loyalty to her, seems kind of cruel to Nancy. Sure maybe she hasn’t communicated enough to him, but has he let her? He is making these assumptions and decisions that impact their future together and he doesn’t discuss it with her because he doesn’t want to ruin her life (or, more likely, either remain in a LDR or get broken up with, the latter seeming more likely every day he lies.) That seems cowardly to me.

[Caesar and Proximus' day to day life] [headcanons]

Summary: You're a human companion to the two apes, this is little things to expect as you live with them and in addition, the rest of the apes.

Word count: 900+

Warnings: None that I can think of! This is mostly platonic, some romance in Caesars if you squint.

Pronouns: Not specified.

A/N: first Planet of the apes request!! I'm so excited, shoutout to the other writers on ao3 I've looked up to for years. I hope this is okay anon! I couldn't reference back to your ask since I lost it and I hope this is the general idea you were hoping for 💀🙏

[Caesar]

For the sake of this, Caesar did NOT die at the end of war, and you're immune to the disease! (Nova is also fine here bc fuck you that's my daughter)

Truth be told it was very very very fortunate for you that you appealed to his good side after all this time, He's tired.

Tired of being hurt, tired of losing family, but he has no choice but to push on, when you offered at first to help him with any injuries or issues that arise in the colony, it's a firm no.

Despite everything he's been through, Caesar does love humans, he think a part of him always will, so just keep trying and you will crack his shell.

Once you two finally have something akin to friendship, is when he finally learns that he can rely on you.

It isn't uncommon to see you holding Cornelius and walking to and from different parts of the colony, Caesar trying in vain to tell you to let the boy down, saying you'll start to spoil him (it's too late, Cornelius will start to go to you for when his dad tells him no.)

Caesar doesn't really think he'd ever find another mate, but without his notice, you start to fill in that role.

Spending the most time with him, helping him make decisions, taking care of Cornelius, helping the other apes learn and sign, you take on the role fairly well.

It isn't uncommon for you to tend to his wounds, he prefers to go to you versus the others, he acts akin to a child when in your care though, hissing dramatically when you rub a salve on his forearm. It results in you slapping his shoulder and it makes him laugh.

Speaking of laughing, he never thought having you around would lighten the weight of the world he constantly holds over his shoulders, you make him feel young again. Before all of this.

He grows fonder of you when he sees some aspects of Caroline in you, noting just how loving and caring you are not only to him, but to everyone, Maurice, Rocket, even Bad ape with how much of an odd ball he is.

Caesar may be the leader (and old, you remind him. He ignores you.) but it doesn't mean he can stay at the colony all day, he goes out to hunt with the others, and when he does, he'll come to you and do a palms up, waiting for your permission.

He doesn't need it, but it makes you feel better when you see him off.

Maybe this is me projecting but he is SO possessive of you, he's lost so much, he lost Buck, Luca, Blue eyes, Cornelia, Koba, Will, his grandfather.

It puts him on the defense, never wanting you to go anywhere without at least one ape to protect you. It'll lead to arguments you Will not win.

Sorry if you just want to go to the river to wash up, either he's coming with you or Rocket is. Too Bad so sad.

Other apes come to you to ask you to ask Caesar if they can do something they Know he would never approve of, it's because they know out of everyone here, with the exception of a handful of apes, you're his soft spot.

Many apes were concerned with you joining them, but you've earned your spot among them, you are loved and trusted.

Koba would be rolling in his grave, seeing you work alongside Caesar, being a genuinely good person and a loving companion.

[Proximus]

It's canon that Proximus has a fondness for humans, but it's so severely different than Caesars, no matter how much he claims to be like the former.

You're more so of a toy to him, similar to Trevathan, but while he reads the Bonobo literature and teaches him things, you're like a pet. You keep him entertained.

This isn't to say he treats you cruelly though, all things considered, you're taken care of fairly well with a lot of luxuries the other apes under his rule are not privy to.

You wear a collar, which is demeaning, but it is better than having a chain connected to it, so everyone knows you're his.

Poor Sylva being forced to be your guard when you ask if you can go walking alone the beach, he doesn't want to do it but he WILL (he becomes fond of you begrudgingly, partially out of respect for Proximus but you're too nice for your own good, asking him how his day is going and whatnot. He hates you.)

Proximus calls you pet, btw. He knows your name but will only use it when it's the two of you or for special occasions.

Brings you out into the colony to show you all the progress being made, he's looking for his ego to be inflated, go ahead and do it so you two can head back inside and get out of the heat.

He likes to show you off while he does, telling his subjects that you're special, like Nova was to Caesar. He's delusional and Caesar would be fucking pissed to be compared.

He doesn't need you to do much honestly, you're meant to sit there and look pretty and make him feel important. Maybe help him out with grooming and taking care of his belongings. He trusts you to mend and keep his crown and his attire in good condition.

Likes to play with your hair, the texture is different than apes, and he finds it soothing to run his fingers through it or just pet your head. Once again, it is very demeaning, but it could be worse.

Like Caesar, he is possessive and will try and limit your contact with the others in fear you'll like them more. Your little trio consists of you, himself, and Sylva. He lets you interact with Trevathan, but it's not an everyday thing.

He does care for you more than he'd ever admit, but it doesn't mean he'll particularly change for your sake, at least not intentionally. He's kinda insane and kinda a piece of shit, and you're aware of this.

Makes you sit next to him when he hosts dinners, making sure to pat your head and coo at you (When Noa first sees you at the table getting treated like how he'd treat an eagle, he gives you one of his signature side eyes bc lmao what the fuck is going on)

When it comes down to the ending of the movie when he dies, you're at a loss, Mae frankly thinks you're too far gone, and Noa is not willing to take a chance to offer you a home.

All you have really left to do is to go back to the colony and what's left of it, back to the remaining apes and humans still left unattended. Telling them they're free to go.

At some point among the years of being the closest to Proximus, you do care for him, and it's hard to think he's gone, he offered you a sense of security and belonging, but it's gone now.

ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ᴠᴇʀʏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ꜰᴏʀ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ʜᴏᴘᴇ ᴛᴏ ʜᴇᴀʀ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ʏᴏᴜ ꜱᴏᴏɴ!