#but it's the closest I've ever come to really understanding how humans are supposed to live | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thefirstknife · 2 years

Text

I want to discuss some of the stuff from the showcase that the devs talked about over the course of the reveal, specifically about Cloud Striders and Neomuna. I don't have exact timestamps because it's a summary made by @fikrul in the server, but if anyone can pinpoint when these things were said, feel free to add!

I want to talk about one specific point:

Neomuna’s population comes from a singular exodus ship that managed to escape the first Collapse. They’ve been hiding and preparing for a second Collapse ever since

We talked about this in the server and we threw around ideas and I have some interesting stuff to report.

So, knowing that the humans of Neomuna come from an exodus ship that managed to escape the Collapse is really important because it tells us what these humans have been through and how they got to be in a hidden city on Neptune. They were already prepared to leave humanity behind, given that they boarded an exodus ship, so them ending up hiding on Neptune makes sense. The goal was to make colonies outside of the solar system and they did the next best thing in the wake of the Collapse.

Important for this is that these humans came from the Golden Age and had all the technology and knowledge from the Golden Age. Golden Age culture and tech influenced them and they didn't lose anything, just build on top of existing Golden Age stuff. The Golden Age for them is just normal history that they likely remember very well, unlike what it is for us: a vaguely mythical age of the past.

As soon as I saw this with the exodus ship, my first thought was that this exodus ship could be one of Clovis' colony ships. Clovis Bray had a facility around Uranus where he was preparing colony ships to leave for Andromeda. Due to the Collapse, it didn't pan out, however, when Ana discovered the facility, it looked like one of the ships managed to leave. I've discussed this before in this post, and I always felt like Legacy weblore wasn't ever really resolved.

On top of that, looking through Bungie's wallpapers for Lightfall, I found this one of the interiors on Neomuna.

This has a lot of Braytech vibes, especially from Europan facilities. The door in the back, the colours and the aesthetic is vaguely reminiscent of the Deep Stone Crypt. Not fully and there are other details (like holographic plants). And we also have to account for some of these things possibly being placeholders or unfinished designs, though I don't think they would be 4k wallpapers? Keep it in mind though. Both Braytech and Neomuna humanity come from the same source so they could have similar aesthetics unrelated to each other.

But then another thing was dropped in the conversation and that's the nanotechnology that Neomuna has. In Quicksilver Storm lore, Elsie notes:

EXO: So, someone out there has a weapon I've never seen before, don't understand, and don't know how to defend against. The closest thing we've seen to this is SIVA, and these bugs are so far beyond that.

Neomuna nanites are similar to SIVA, but far more advanced. This makes sense on several layers: first, all exodus ships had SIVA on them because it was supposed to help with building the colony from scratch. Second, SIVA is Braytech and Braytech was huge in the Golden Age so any colony ship (but especially if this colony ship was Braytech's) would be aware of nanites and would use it. Third, similar to SIVA but far more advanced fits with the fact that Neomuna probably had SIVA on board but also didn't have the Collapse and was able to perfect the nanite technology in the centuries to come, resulting in the current nanites that are far more advanced.

Another thing in this same lore is the following:

//PROXIMITY==3; Exo MODEL (BRAY_special); POUKA (juvenile); UNKNOWN (!!EXTREME CAUTION!!PARACAUSAL)

The nanites recognise the pouka and even its age, because the pouka is probably native to Neomuna so they know what it is. They understand that there's a paracausal entity, but just don't understand what it is (because it's a Ghost). And the nanites can recognise an Exo down to its model; they know it's specifically a Bray Exo and that it's a special model (Elsie has a custom frame). This means that the nanites (and therefore Neomuna humans) should be aware of the existence of Exos and Braytech (which is understandable, given that they all existed at the same time in the Golden Age). The nanites being originally Braytech (SIVA) would make extra sense.

The conversation also dropped a possibility that Willhelmina Bray, the creator of SIVA, may have been somehow involved with the exodus ship, possibly even have been a passenger on it. We have no idea what happened to Willa Bray. It's never been explored. It would be incredibly interesting to see the final of the Bray women have her story tied up by having her boarded on the colony ship and ending up as the main scientist behind the Neomuna nanotechnology, effectively wrapping up her dream of perfecting nanites. I wouldn't bet on her still being alive, as it's been way too long, but you never know. Destiny has done weirder things.

And then, I realised. Nefele Stronghold.

Relevant:

According to this, before initiating YUGA SUNDOWN, Rasputin killed all protective measures in place for Human colonies and settlements. There's a big list of codenames for the Moon, Mars, Earth, the Exodus ships, et cetera… but Rasputin also refers to a place called NEFELE STRONGHOLD. No record of that in any of our databases. Forwarding to A.B. for a cross-ref.

And a response from Ana:

No hit on 'NEFELE STRONGHOLD' in any of Rasputin's records. Can't even find the original transcript you're quoting. If it's real, someone removed all traces of it. And if they did, they did it so cleanly that I'd suspect Rasputin himself.

As I noted in the tags on my post, "Nefele" is a Greek goddess of clouds. You know. Neomuna in the clouds of Neptune with a group of people called Cloud Striders. We now know for a fact that Rasputin's data on Nefele Stronghold was about Neomuna.

Important bits: Rasputin was in charge of protecting the whole solar system and that includes all colonies and colony ships. Including Neomuna apparently, because he had information about this place in his database before entering dormancy after the Collapse. Neomuna was known to at least Rasputin himself. He may even be a reason why Neomuna survived the Collapse, given that he participated in hiding it from the world.

Ana notes that she could not find anything about Nefele Stronghold in Rasputin's database because someone wiped the record so thoroughly that she couldn't even find the original quote. And given the scope of the data wipe, she assumes it must've been done by Rasputin himself.

That's a lot of tie-ins with Golden Age Braytech work. Nanotechnology (originally developed by Willa Bray), Rasputin in charge of protecting the colony, an unknown colony ship that managed to survive the Collapse (and Clovis having hidden colony ships out there at the edge of the system), vaguely similar aesthetic in some of the screenshots... I would not be surprised if Neomuna owes a lot to Golden Age Braytech work. It would make sense as Braytech was the biggest technology company in the Golden Age and it would be understandable if the colony ship was equipped with the most up to date tech to take to the stars.

I'd love to see Willa having the chance to expand her nanite science in a place hidden from the world and to have Elsie and Ana explore their sister's legacy.

And I'd love to see Rasputin up and running before Lightfall, leading us to help Neomuna like he was trying to do during the Golden Age and the Collapse. It seems like a perfect time to bring him, Ana and Elsie back, before Lightfall, to get us ready.

Obviously it's too early to say that any of this will pan out for sure, but it's something to keep an eye out for. Rasputin definitely had Neomuna in his database so the Golden Age Braytech connection is already there. And Neomuna's technology being based on incredibly advanced nanites is very interesting given that all colony ships had SIVA on board and SIVA was just the beginning of nanotechnology exploration. Without the Collapse and with a thousand years (or more) of unrestricted technological and scientific advancement, SIVA could've probably become what Neomuna's tech is now.

#destiny 2 #destiny 2 spoilers #lightfall spoilers #neomuna #rasputin #elsie #willa #siva #lore vibing #long post #it's still WAY too early to be super confident about this stuff but you know #rasputin knowing about neomuna and them having so much stuff around nanites is just MAN #i need rasputin back

183 notes · View notes

otnesse · 9 months

Text

This is a reply to @stupidflandersissexy's reblog to Marcia Brady's posts since I've been banned by the latter and thus can't do a direct reblog.

#some really interesting points here#the only thing I disagree is the little mermaid having the supposedly having lgbta subtext#there are other things people can be or feel like outsiders without being lgbt#but still good points#it's true that she doesn't have a job or anything#they were working to support their families and feed their kids

The LGBTA context is more of a yes and no,to me. I don't see it,but I can understand why people have such a point of view. Personally,Ariel comes across to me as way more of a curious,open-minded and analytical teen girl living in an intolerant society. One doesn't need to be gay to feel stiffled because of said circumstances(not to mention I've seen good cases for Ariel as an ableism allegory). Even the "turning human" can be about having the means to live a fully free life(another point towards a disability context,IMO. Accomodations,and all that jazz).

Now,onto Belle. She was supposed to be the misunderstood outcast whom people mercilessly judge due to not accepting different opinions,but she walked around the town getting lost on books while everyone else worked to make a living. Considering how Belle wasn't shown having to work,or otherwise struggling with finances,she truly came across as privileged and it gave the movie unintentional classist undertones - framing the girl who could afford to daydream 24/7 as inherently superior to the people who had to make a living generates some unfortunate implications. The worst is that said scene could be so easily changed by having Belle read while the rest of the villagers were having different ways of leisure and/or enjoying their free time,and show them bullying her(or at the very least gossiping about her) for not being as social.

The worst is that Belle could've been a great protagonist with that personality. A flawed heroine is a good way to stenghten the moral of the tale - true beauty comes from within. Then,Belle loves the Beast with all her heart,and vice-versa,making each other better people. Belle-as-a-snob also had the potential to make the point about the town being close-minded and judgemental stronger,by showing how such environment affected her. Maybe she was mistreated in some way,or whatever. To top it all,there's a parallel with Beast - there's a beautiful side in the prince,and there's a beastly side on Belle.

All the potential above was wasted on putting some girl on a pedestal."

Not to mention Ariel can also qualify as an autistic allegory as well. I know she certainly acted as one for me, at least (I need to know your secret on how you could understand how some people could view her as an LGBT allegory without agreeing with it, because I really can't understand it at all. Mostly because Ariel, heck, even her original counterpart, fell for someone of the opposite sex, meaning it killed any possible allegorical/metaphorical connections to that bit. Not to mention she stayed the gender she was born in, anyways. I think the closest I've ever gotten to seeing any allegory to LGBT to otherwise technically straight characters was with the protagonists from Sex and the City, and that's only because it was exceedingly transparent.). And a funny thing is, Ariel's part of the reason I converted from Episcopalean to Roman Catholicism as a kid (though unlike Ariel and Triton, my dad was supportive of it. Heck, my loyalty to Ariel and connection to her grew even stronger after a genuinely terrible College experience, one where the professors often times tried to beat my Conservativism out of me during lessons as well as brainwash me into their line of thinking. They ultimately failed, but I still carry the mental scars from it. In one sense, you could even see Ariel in the various conservatives on College campuses who are outright marginalized and not even allowed to speak and give their views on those college campuses (and you have to admit, regardless of your political views, conservatives STILL have some right to speak rather than constantly being silenced and even forcibly brainwashed).

As far as Belle... my current views on Belle are a bit more...complicated. I can't really say I'm necessarily "anti" towards her (Certainly I don't dislike or even hate her per-se. I guess the closest I can state to an actual negative emotion towards her is terror and fear, more on that later. There's still some potential to being restored, contrast with the Rebel Alliance with Star Wars, who I'm now fully anti towards thanks largely to George Lucas being a grade A idiot and boasting his pro-Vietcong credentials at their expense), but she definitely fell hard regarding likeability as of late (to give a good hint as to how far she fell for me, when I was younger, she was second place regarding the DP list, just below Ariel. Now? She's second-LAST, just barely above Merida). But I will say it's slightly closer to anti at this point. And there's a whole lot of reasons why she's a bit closer to the anti scale of things for me.

This may be multiple posts due to a text limit.

8 notes · View notes

seasurfacefullofclouds1 · 2 years

Note

do you ever feel as though your adoration for Louis and disdain for Harry is in part a projection of your faith in certain rhetoric? I really like Louis, I thoroughly despise Harry. But I wonder if my perceptions, to any degree, are in fact less about the music/personality and more about symbolism. For me, Louis represents winning with honesty and idealism-- never cutting corners, never letting anyone else become collateral damage to the wind of ambition, never cheating or grifting or scamming or sleazing or bullshitting. No pomp or parade, just purposeful presence. Being sincere doesn't mean being naive, but being smart shouldn't requisite being scummy, yano? But I've never in my life ever come across a single person who's won anything that way. The kids who get into Harvard from my school follow essay ghost writing services on Insta and cheat through school, plagiarizing the projects that win them awards. Those same kids will go on to be the latest YC entrepreneurs raking in a shit ton of VC funding from the parents of their rich legacy admit peers. Those "entrepreneurs" get on the Forbes 30 Under 30 list, and then pull an Elizabeth Holmes or Richard Sackler on all of us. But only after accumulating hordes of imperishable wealth and notoriety-- only after reserving a space amongst the successful in history books. A state school kid could be just as smart as the smartest person at Harvard, hustle as hard as humanly imaginable, but it's unlikely that they'd ever get a foot in the door to the upper echelons of society or success because nothing can compete with having friends in high places. The odds aren't in favor of the honest. That's what Harry represents to me. He represents the depraved reality in which the only apparent way to "win" is to cheat and scam and hurt. And if you weren't cheating and scamming and hurting from the start to weasel your way forward, then it's too late because that door is already closed. Louis represents something better, but perhaps something in vain. When Louis says have faith in the future, it's echoed by Harry saying face the future and accept that the prospects are dismal. I don't know, I feel like maybe I latch on to Louis because he feels like the closest thing to an honest winner. But yeah, symbolism and idolatry is a lot of pressure to put on a stranger, especially when they didn't ask for it. It's just hard to separate the rhetoric from the art, to be here just for the music and not the symbolism. Makes me wonder if I'm any better than being a Larry, using a whole individual human being as a rhetorical device for my ideology, the way Larries use him for a fetish or fantasy. In summary, I suppose my dilemma is that I want to see Louis win, I'm just not sure what the right reasons are for wanting someone to win. Do people truly just have unconditional love for others, or is their always an element of rhetoric, maybe pity or sympathy or empathy or familiarity?

Hi there,

[[MORE]]

I have a few thoughts, some personal and some more universal.

First, the personal. I AM biased. As much as I try to be objective, my past experience in this fandom influences my love for Louis and disdain for Harry. The way that Harries and Larries have constantly harassed me and other Louies for years— calling us Rads, cockroaches, fascists, Hitler (literally)— the way they leave ruthlessly inhumane anons in my and other people’s inboxes, make blogs just to hate and harass other fans, all of this behavior changes my perception of the idols. How many Louis UAs have folded because of the pressure? How many fans have been bullied into leaving?

Now, I can understand what you mean by using Louis and Harry as symbols of universal ethical standards. Like it or not, they do act as role models for their fans. We imitate their fashion and speech. We adopt their tastes in music. We buy their merch and chant their slogans (TPWK, Faith in the Future). We DO idealize and simplify who they are. Because we only see a tiny part of their personal lives, we cannot know how they behave privately, what choices they make.

But as you illustrated, the consequences of their choices do eventually, piece by piece, month by month, year by year, reveal a three-dimensional person with consistent values and principles. A person like Louis with meticulous eye for details and a perfectionist bent will take time to pay attention to his own presentation, whether it’s song lyrics or fashion or tour graphics. A person like Harry who is used to letting others do it for him will be less consistent, more likely to do what is ostentatious and trendy, more interested in creating outrage and gossip. This observation doesn’t come from our idealization of them: it is a fact built from a decade of watching them as public figures.

We “project” our ideas of Harry and Louis because of their real actions and the consequences therein, not because of some random depictions in fics of tabloids.

But the flip side of your argument is a cautionary tale not to treat them like puppets. I’ve said before that Louis is NOT a perfect human being. No one can be. He makes bad decisions on occasion. It is okay to recognize his flaws; the sky isn’t going to fall, we don’t have to cancel him every time he does something we don’t like. Conversely, Harry can be truly kind at times, amusing and charming. He is truly talented. He can be all these things and still be motivated by selfishness and greed.

We can recognize our own flaws in reasoning and still try to see things in an objective way. Ethics is not an easy subject to study— the schools of moral philosophy are also often conflicting (Kant’e categorical imperative vs. Mill’s utilitarianism can reach diametrically opposite conclusions)!

But fandom is also not only about choosing the fairest thing. That would be incredibly tedious! It’s about connecting with people who speak to us, who give us joy when we need it, who provide hope in intangible ways, who make us feel loved and safe, who have given us indelible memories.

14 notes · View notes

yournaothings · 4 months

Text

Let's Start at the Beginning

Story Begin! Atara and the Underfell Skeletons!

((TW? Monster haters and violence.))

(((These are little snippets of Fell!Sans and Atara and his growing feelings for her. This is a long one, so buckle up! At least I think it's long?)))

Sans began to sweat.

The situation couldn't get anymore awkward than this-

"I don't understand. Why would you be so comfortable around such a scary monster?" The stranger said with disgust, pointing their finger right at Sans.

"It's rude to point." His human snapped as she slapped the stranger's hand away. "He's my best friend, and has been there for me. Unlike any other human that I've had to live with in the past." His human crossed her arms and glared at the stranger. "I don't need help, he's not harming me in any way. Besides, why come to my rescue now, when no one has ever really cared for me before?"

The stranger gawked and sputtered a response, but his human could care less about it. She turned around and linked arms with him, starting to drag him away from the rude person. "Come on, Red." Sans gave one last glance towards the stranger, before stumbling after his fiery human. The two could hear the stranger calling after them, "He'll kill you sooner or later! That's what these monsters do best!" But, his human ignored them; Sans however, could not.

"atara, wait-"

Atara didn't stop, she wanted to get as far away from that asshole. How dare they talk like that about her friend! Someone who has always been there when she needed someone the most! Sans and Papyrus were two of her closest friends and would do whatever it takes to keep them safe!

Sans stopped moving suddenly, causing Atara to be stopped abruptly, almost tumbling down if it weren't for Sans catching her. She righted herself, brushing her hair from her face and turned to face the skeleton, huffing in annoyance. "What is it, Red?"

Her annoyance dropped immediately at the look he was giving her; it was replaced with anger. She was tempted to go back to that person and punch their lights out for hurting Sans.

"you didn't have to say all of that back there-"

"Yes I did, Red!" Atara huffed, stomping her foot down much like Papyrus does; it made Sans grin and release a chuckle from under his breath. "Monsters have been on the surface long enough to earn respect! I'm not going to let some asshole talk down to you!"

"i know, sweetheart. but i'm worried you're going to get yourself in trouble one day. i can't be losing my favorite human, not after all the work we've put into getting ya to live with us." He winked at her, but she wasn't fooled; she knew he was trying to make light of the situation. He always does. "Red, I won't get into trouble." She sighed, her shoulders dropping when doing so. 'We were supposed to have a good day today.' Atara thought to herself.

Suddenly, Sans' arm wrapped around Atara's shoulders and pulled her in close, pressing flush against his side. "you're so stubborn." He growls, but he grinned down at her. He still wondered how he managed to befriend such a caring human like Atara. Even through all her traumatic childhood, this young woman remained kind and ready to defend those in need.

"For a good reason, Red." Atara finally relaxed against him and returned his grin. "Now, can we move on? I still really want that Nice Cream." Sans laughed as he released his human. "yeah, sure. i'll lead the way, though." He winked down at her before they linked arms yet again, this time Sans guiding his friend towards the park; where the Nice Cream was open and handing out discounted Nice Cream!

----

Atara has been living with the skeleton brothers for a year now, and she couldn't be happier. After such a painful up-bringing, she finally found a home; these two skeletons loved and cared for her as if she were one of them.

Of course, it took a while for the younger skeleton to warm up to Atara- heck! Atara had nights where she expected the skeletons to abandon her; and when it became too much one night, she was forced to confront the skeletons about her fears of being left behind. She would have her anxiety attacks when the brothers weren't around, and if they came home (or woke up if it was night time), she would pretend everything was okay.

"Atara,"

The sound of Papyrus' concerned voice made said girl jolt in place on the sofa. The two brothers had woken up after Atara had a bad anxiety attack, crying out just a bit too loudly this time, startling the brothers. Papyrus and Sans directed the girl towards the sofa, making her sit down.

Now, staring up at the massive and tall skeleton, Atara knew that this was serious if Papyrus wasn't using his normal loud voice. His usual fearsome glare was missing, morphed into one of concern. "What is this about? Are you.. Not happy here?"

The distress in his voice broke Atara's heart, and she was quick to shake her head. "I-Its not that at all, Paps." She was quick to explain, but as the words started on her tongue, she felt herself freeze up with fear. What if the two would think of her as dumb, or maybe they actually wanted her gone? "sweetheart," Sans' voice called out, his hand reaching to take Atara's. "whatever is going on, know that you can trust us."

And just like that, Atara blinked away her tears, drew in a deep breath before starting her story; her sad childhood, never having parents. Not having a concrete home, or anyone who really loved her. By the end of her story, she found herself wrapped up in the skeleton brothers' arms, her heart warm and pounding against her chest while she cried tears of relief.

Both Sans and Papyrus accepted her, and promised to never leave her, ever. After that night, Atara had the feeling of being free. Free from her past and her fears. All thanks to these two monsters. She couldn't have been any happier.

Since then, anyone who tried messing with Atara, if either skeleton was around, they'd make damn sure the offender would be taught a lesson- at least until Atara stopped them, only to absolutely destroy the offenders with her self-defense techniques. She didn't need any of her monster friends getting into trouble, or herself. So, the moment a offender would put their hands on Atara, she'd knock the mother fu-

Let's just say, the offenders would be embarrassed when having to explain why their teeth were knocked out. hehehe

----

"take another pizza of my heart now, baby~"

"Nooo," Atara groaned, but couldn't help the grin and snickers that escaped from her as she snatched up another piece of pizza- monster pizza. They were having a movie night and had finished one of many Mettaton movies that Papyrus had fixed up for tonight's entertainment. "that was terrible, Red." Atara whined as she sat back down beside him- Papyrus surprisingly had remained quiet, but with one glance at his tense back, Atara knew he was trying not to get mad and yell.

"come on, toots." Sans grinned, Atara sent him a glare, hoping to shut him up before- "these pizza puns are knead to know-"

"GOD DAMN- SANS! STOP WITH THE PUNS!" Papyrus spun around so quick, his cape almost flew off from his shoulders. Sans was snickering while Atara flinched but stuffed pizza in her mouth, wondering if she should take cover before Papyrus could get in Sans' face. "hey now, paps, grab that pizza, and these pizza puns, while you can. they're here today, but gone tomato."

Atara was quick to jump over the back of the sofa, laughing when Papyrus stomped over and shook his fist in Sans' face, yelling about how his jokes were tasteless and not funny. "of course my jokes are funny!" Sans grins to Atara, who was now by the pizza yet again; their eyes locked and Sans' grin widens. "what did the pizza say to the tough guy?" He asks, Papyrus was trembling, his skull steaming with his temper. Atara opened her mouth to answer but Sans interrupted her. "dough, you wanna pizza me?"

The sound of the sofa flipping over and Sans laughing was heard in the room, before Papyrus' stomping and yelling slices through Sans' laughter- Atara joining in after. "Paps, don't let Red ruin our movie night!" Atara giggle, she grins mischievously which Papyrus narrows his eyes at, Sans manages to shut up long enough to listen to Atara. She picks up a mushroom, showing it off to Papyrus and Sans. "Why does the mushroom always gets invited to parties-" "ATARA, NO-" "Because he's such a fungi."

Papyrus screeches in disappointment, disbelief etched on his features as he pops the next Mettaton movie in, grumbling about Sans infecting their human with his stupid jokes. Sans on the other hand was literally rolling on the floor, laughing. "pfft- fungi!! shit, that's good, 'tara!"

Once everyone calmed down and the sofa fixed up, the three found their places yet again to finish the Mettaton movie night.

Papyrus was busy cleaning up the mess of empty pizza boxes. Sans gathered a sleeping Atara into his arms, giving her such a happy look. "i'm gonna tuck her in bed, paps." He didn't have to look at his brother, who just waved in acknowledgement. Sans didn't teleport, choosing to carry her upstairs, too worried that his "short cuts" would startle his human awake.

Getting into Atara's room, Sans doesn't flick on the lights, but he knew of every poster that hung on her walls; rock bands, anime, etc. She even had collages of photos of friends hanging out- Undyne and Papyrus were pictured in many of them with Atara looking like she was cackling in the background. Sans and Atara in a few, most of them being taken right before pranks.

Sans smiles to himself, he's got her whole room memorized, even where her furniture sits. He uses his magic to pull back her covers so he could lay her down. Atara mumbles in her sleep as he lays her down, the moment she's on the soft surface, she rolls over and snuggles into her plushies on her bed. Sans gently covers her up, but pauses as he watched her sleep.

Sure, it may look creepy, but Sans couldn't help it. He hasn't known this human for very long, but he couldn't help but care so much for her. His sweet human had gone through so much, yet she was so caring! Maybe he saw Frisk in Atara, the two sharing various traits, and it was something he admired about her. This human knew of all the bad the monsters have done while Underground, but she still cared. Loved he and Paps with all her heart!

Sans startled when he felt tears brim over his eye sockets; he realized just how important she was to him- maybe not in a partner, but as a friend. He would do anything to make sure she is well protected. If anyone ever tried to harm her.. His left eye flared red as he grinned almost manically. He knew he would kill for her, if needed...

Turning away, Sans shuffled out of the room, gently shutting the door behind him as to not wake his human from her slumber. He had the strangest feeling, one that made his non-existent gut twist with dread. Sans paused and glanced behind him at Atara's door, beads of sweat gathering over his skull as he soaked in this uncomfortable feeling.

Something was going to happen.

But..

Was it another reset? Or was he about to lose something so dear and so close to him-

Shit. Sans growled in frustration, his teeth grinding at the mere thought of losing Atara. A reset would put her right back through the pain she had been in before she met the two skeleton brothers. Everyone would forget yet again, and there were no promises of meeting his human again in the next reset. But..

What if it was something more? No reset, but rather something so life altering, it would ruin him? Ruin Atara?

His eye lights shrunk and his sockets widened; what if it was both Papyrus and Atara? What if it was him?

Sans fell into a fit of panic, his hand reaching to grab the door knob so he could make sure Atara was still there in bed. He had to make sure-

"SANS,"

Said skeleton jolted in place and spun around to see his little brother walking up the steps. A calculated gaze caught Sans' wild one; Papyrus' eyes narrowed with suspicion. "Is Atara Okay?" Papyrus lowered his voice, as to not wake Atara in case she was asleep still. Sans sighed, realizing he let his anxiety get the better of him- or, it would have if Papyrus hadn't cut it off. "yea, paps, she's alright. just tucked her in bed."

Papyrus stared down Sans a moment longer, trying to read past Sans' blocked expression; he knew what Sans' anxiety attacks looked like by now. Something had been bothering him.. "You Know... I Am Always Here If You Need To Talk." Sans' uneasy grin eased into a smile, his anxiety dissipating all together. He closed his eyes and let himself relax then. "yea, i know, paps. you're the best."

The little brother made a huffing noise and stood tall, grinning down at his big brother. "OF COURSE I AM! I'M THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE PAPYRUS, AFTER ALL!" He released a few "Nyehehes!" Before bidding his brother a good night, and disappearing into his bedroom.

Sans sighed and followed after his little brother's example, shuffling towards his bedroom door- but instead used his short cut to get inside. He landed on his bed, the poor furniture wheezing from under his weight. He was surprised at how well it's kept him up from every time he's fallen onto it.

The skeleton crossed his leg over the other, his arms tucked underneath his skull, Sans closed his eyes, hoping sleep would come to him easier tonight.

----

Children screaming in delight filled the atmosphere, drowning out the music that played over speakers. Rides and food venders were scattered all around down street of Ebott City. Frisk had asked if Atara wanted to come along with her to the carnival! Atara usually went all by her lonesome, and it wasn't very fun, and the pricing was terrible- (seeing as how she had a lame ass job that didn't pay well); until she met Frisk and the monsters.

Now, Atara had Frisk's hand grasped in hers as they hurried through the crowds of parents and children. Toriel had called out for the two to be careful and "Don't talk to strangers!"

Atara grinned down at Frisk, knowing she wouldn't let anyone harm this young girl. She'll put the asshole in the hospital before Frisk got hurt. Atara was old enough to be a guardian for Frisk, letting the two on the rides with no complications. By the time Sans and Papyrus made it to the carnival, Atara and Frisk were on their fourth ride for the day. The two girls were on the Ferris Wheel when they spotted the skeleton brothers, Papyrus already on observation duty, yelling after some parents for littering.

Although they couldn't see it, Sans had beads of sweat on his skull as he peered around at all the people; humans and monsters. Atara wondered what he was looking for, or maybe it was a who? Atara grinned as she pulled her phone out of her pocket, opened her camera app and snapped a photo of Sans, then sent it to said skeleton. Frisk and Atara giggled as they watched Sans shuffle and pull his phone out, opening the message, before raising his head to try and find the girls.

Frisk slapped her hands over her mouth, while Atara raised her phone again and took a video this time, first showing the two girls before flipping the camera to zoom in on Sans, who is still looking for Atara. "Guess where we are~!" Atara cooed before ending the video and sending it to him. The two girls cackled when Sans got the video and narrowed his eye sockets then turned his red eye lights up at the Ferris Wheel, his eyes locking on to Atara's- The older girl grinned mischievously and stuck her tongue out at him, adding a middle finger for fun.

Sans' grin grew dangerous, and when the Ferris Wheel started moving again, Atara and Frisk were startled when Sans suddenly disappeared once someone walked in between their sight and Sans. Frisk giggled, knowing Sans was going to try and prank them, or maybe just Atara. The older girl felt an overwhelming feeling of excitement, anticipation to the game she just started between her and Sans.

As soon as their feet were back on the ground, Frisk was immediately dragging Atara through the crowds; the game was a foot! The two girls knew that Sans was close behind, but he was waiting for the right chance to pounce.

Frisk pulled Atara into the mirror maze that was set up for the carnival; while the two girls believed it would be fun and an easy way to lose Sans, the reality of it was far from it. It didn't take long before Frisk separates from Atara, and the realization of being lost hit Atara. She wasn't afraid for herself- the fear was for Frisk's safety. It didn't help the fear when the lights suddenly flickered off, leaving Atara in a pitch black darkness. Her heart started pounding in her chest, there was no way she'd find her way out now-

An idea came to mind, her phone is in her hand now, the flashlight switched on and she starts making her way further into the maze; "Frisk?!" She was pleased to hear Frisk call back- "I'm okay!" Is the young girl's response. "Stay put, I'm coming to you." Atara called out. She was relieved to know Frisk was safe, but she forgot about the looming skeleton-

There was a flash of red, the only warning Atara had, before her flashlight switched off so suddenly. No matter, she'll just turn it back-

Hearing shuffling behind her, Atara turned just in time to see someone hover above her- before she could elbow the asshole in the gut- A red eye light flared to life in his left eye socket, casting very little light over the rest of his face; Sans' grin was stretching across his skull, the gold tooth glinted just slightly from his eye light. "gotcha, sweetheart."

Atara's heart was loud in her ears, at first she was pretty pissed off that Sans scared her so bad, then realized she was never in any danger. Her and Frisk weren't- wait... "You and Frisk planned this?" Sans leaned in closer, peering down at his favorite human who now leaned against the mirror with a stance of confidence. No longer smelling of fear; Sans was worried he might have fucked up if this prank didn't go well in the end.

"nah, but i got what she was implying when she pulled you into here." Sans chuckled, his magic flaring again and allowing the lights to switch back on. The bright lights made Atara flinch, having been in the dark long enough. It wasn't too long before Frisk found the two, giggling with glee. "You little shit." Atara sent a playful glare after Frisk, who shrugged and stuck out her tongue.

"so uh, how do we get out of here?" Sans asked, sweat appearing on his skull yet again. "Teleportation!" Frisk cheered, but Atara declined. "I want to find my way out, you two can teleport." She said, then started making her way through the maze, only bumping into the mirrors a few more times before she manages to reach the exit. Outside waits Sans and Frisk- "Cheaters." Atara grumbled as she flipped the two off.

Sans paid for some treats afterwards, Frisk enjoying some cotton candy while Atara and Sans shared monster made funnel cakes. They found a nice spot under a large tree, giving the perfect shade.

"We should do the photo booths." Atara smiles as she watches couples leaving a photo booth, they pull out their photos and laughed or cooed at how their photos turned out. "yeah, sure." Sans agreed, smiling as he now imagines the photos pinned to Atara's wall with the others. As soon as the two girls were finished with their snacks, the three snatched a booth, Sans inserted the money for the first session; the photos started nice, and decent. Then they turned silly with funny faces. Before they knew it, Sans was paying for three more sessions! The results were great, and Atara looked through the photos and decided who would get what.

Frisk was keeping the sillier photos, while Atara kept the more decent and the more.. inappropriate ones with the three of them flipping off the camera- if Toriel ever found out Frisk raised her middle finger, both Sans and Atara would get a lecture.

"I'm adding this to my scrap book!" Frisk grins before skipping ahead, Atara and Sans following behind. "These will go on my wall for sure!" Atara grins and points to one of her favorite photo of the three of them. Frisk, Atara, and Sans (in that order) were squeezed in close, their cheeks mushed against each others', their fingers positioned with peace signs. All three looked so happy, joy radiating from each of them. Even Sans looked happy and it made Atara's heart warm. "This one is my favorite. I haven't seen you that happy, ever."

Sans peers down at his human, his eyes widened, registering how Atara's tone grew soft and warm; she was so elated to see Sans relaxing and having fun. Sans realized suddenly that Atara paid close attention to him; she knew when he was having bad days. When his nightmares got to him, or when he and Papyrus got angry at each other and they wouldn't apologize just yet-

Atara tucked the photos away and linked her arm with Sans, his cheeks lighting up with a blush; Sans didn't plan on coming to the carnival, but Atara and Frisk had begged him to come. Now, he's very glad he showed up. Getting this attention from Atara, just him and-

"Gross! You two need to take that shit elsewhere!"

Atara stopped suddenly, her eyes widening and looking for the asshole who was yelling- Frisk screeched to a halt and stared at the man who glared hatefully towards Sans and Atara. The man thrust his finger at the two, continuing to insult what looked like a monster-human couple. "You come up here and demand to live among us, then take our women?!"

"Shut your God-damn mouth!" Atara snarled, her arm releasing Sans' as she marched closer. "No one wants to hear your bitch ass blame monsters for the fact you can't find a girl who would actually accept you!"

Frisk and Sans' eyes widened and jaws dropped open in shock. Atara always got angry when her monster friends were verbally attacked, and she didn't stand back to watch- she jumped in to attack right back! But, this time-

"sweetheart, maybe we should-" Sans tried to stop Atara, but she threw a glare over her shoulder at her friend. She wasn't going to back down.

Taking the advantage of the distraction, the asshole rushed forward and grabbed Atara by the front of her shirt, yanking her towards him so he could yell at her. Atara was quick though, her fist connected with his gut, causing him to release her and bend over as he held his stomach in pain. The crowd around them that started to gather, gasped in shock. Whispers broke out around them, these people judging Atara for her actions- it wasn't long before a few police officers showed up and apprehended both Atara and the asshole.

Sans tried to reason with the officers, but they told him to "stay out of this, unless you want to be arrested as well." Sans cursed under his breath, pulling Frisk with him to find Toriel; they were going to have to find a way to get Atara released- she was only defending... Well herself, he supposed. The asshole was spitting out how distasteful the sight was of him and Atara linking arms.

For a moment, Sans wondered if Atara only jumped in because she was offended at the idea of the two of them being a couple... He didn't know how to feel, honestly. Atara was very deal, but the idea of her being disgusted with being with a monster like him.. Well, it hurt.

No, Sans shook his head. Atara wouldn't be like that. No, she only jumped in to argue with that guy because she was defending monsters- defending him again. Atara was too nice to act disgusted at the thought of monster-human relationships...

The situation was explained to Toriel, and it didn't take long for them to free Atara- thankfully, no charges were made. Atara was free to go, but was given a warning. "Don't do that again, or you will get time." To this, Atara snorted and blew it off.

The rest of the day continued on with no more problems. However, when they got home, Sans excused himself to his room, while Atara stared after him in concern. She remained downstairs to help Papyrus with dinner. She didn't have much more time to ponder why Sans was acting weird, as Papyrus turned his attention towards her;

"Atara, I Admire Your Courage, But You Cannot Hurt Others Just Because They Insult Us Monsters..."

Atara turned around so quickly, her hair falling in her face as she stared up at Paps. She didn't think Papyrus would lecture her. She's realized by now that her actions were too reckless, and she did feel bad for what happened. "Sorry, Paps." She frowned, looking away. She began to work on her task at hand, chopping vegetables for Papyrus' dish. "It's just that we were having such a wonderful day. No one had bothered us, then that guy yelled at us. Sure, I got in his face, but he grabbed and startled me, so I went on autopilot."

Papyrus nods, understanding this. "I Understand, We All Do. But, The Human Officers Don't. Please Be Careful Next Time." He peered down at Atara, catching her gaze; she blushed with embarrassment, Papyrus hardly has to tell her to not do something, she knew better. His expression morphed into a concerned gaze, frowning and Atara didn't like it. "Sans Had Been Scared For You." He added on, watching Atara realize why Papyrus was saying this; she had scared her best friend. He already had issues with his past and his nightmares. This event probably scarred him as well. "I... I didn't mean to do that." She glanced towards the kitchen doorway, hoping Sans would appear so she could see him; maybe he'd be happy again, like he was earlier.

But, he didn't appear, and remained in his room. "I'll... I'll apologize to him. I'll do better." She startled when Papyrus rested his hand on top of her head. "I Know You Will." He offered a smile before raising his voice while he directed Atara with what else to do for dinner.

Sans joined the two later on just before dinner was finished. He set the table before snatching a bottle of mustard, almost downing it instantly.

The older skeleton almost spat out his mustard when two smaller arms wrapped around his middle and squeezed; her face pressed against his ribs as she held him tightly. She spoke but it was hard to hear what she said with her against him, but he couldn't hear her. "come again, toots? i can't ear you." He snickered as she pulled back to pout up at him. "I'm sorry for worrying you. I didn't mean to actually hit him, he just scared me when he grabbed my shirt." Sans reached up and pat the top of her head, his grin softening as he peered down at her, lovingly. "'t'is okay, sweetheart." His phalanges combed through her hair before pulling away. "i'm happy you try to defend us monsters, but don't forget.. you're important too."

Atara felt tears burn her eyes, so she pressed her face against his turtleneck sweater, hiding away in the safety of Sans. His arms wound around her, holding her close and his chin resting on top of her head.

The three ended the day with a TV program Papyrus wanted to watch. All three of them curled up on the sofa- well, Atara was curled up against Sans' side, who had his arm around her shoulders. It wasn't long before Atara fell asleep after such an eventful day. Sans didn't bother to take Atara back to her room, not yet. He was scared that he was going to lose her today. He just needed to have her close just for a little while longer.

Once Papyrus had finished the program and turned in for the night, Sans stood with Atara in his arms. He began to walk away, up the stairs, when she stirred awake. "Red?" She yawned and rubbed at her eyes. "Where..Where are we going?" Sans smiled down at her, finding her just so damn cute! "i'm taking you to your room. we're turning in for the night." Atara let his words settle into her head before blushing a dark red; "Red, put me down! I can walk!" She said in panic, embarrassed that Sans was carrying her to bed. "sorry, toots. i'm already halfway there-" "So I can walk the rest of the way!" "nope, not an option-" "Red!" She tried to slip from his arms but he refused to release her- he pulled her close to his chest and grinned down at her in warning. "Red, don't you dare-"

She had to screw her eyes shut as Sans used his 'short-cut' to enter her room, and dumped her onto her bed. Atara grunted when her body fell onto the mattress, and once she recovered from the trip, she started to throw her plushies at her skele-boy.

Sans laughed while Atara threw all her plushies at him, then her pillows. Her body pillow was the only one that hit him square in the face, almost knocking him off balance. He snatched the pillow, tossing it behind him before launching himself at her, his phalanges beginning to tickle at her sides. Atara shrieked and started to laugh, crying out for him to stop- "I- I can't breathe!"

Sans would lay off for just a moment to let her breath, before jumping back in and tickling her sides again. Both their laughter mingled in the room, Atara once again begging for Sans to let her breathe-

The door burst open and the loud shouts of Papyrus; "SANS! WOULD YOU KNOCK IT OFF?! LET THE HUMAN SLEEP!"

Sans and Atara stared at the taller skeleton with wide eyes, Atara blushing as she hid behind Sans who started to sweat from under Papyrus' glare. "r-right. i was gonna-" "NO YOU WEREN'T-" "really, paps. i was." Sans pulled away from Atara and raised his hands up to show he was all done torturing her. "let me help clean up this mess." Papyrus grumbled under his breath before bidding Atara good night, before marching back to his room; his door slamming shut behind him.

With a sigh, Sans used his magic to gather all the plushies and pillows back onto Atara's bed. Atara stared up at Sans while he finished adjusting a few of her plushies, then turned to grin down at her. "there, now you can get some rest." Atara drew a shaky breath in, then released it, allowing herself to calm down. She was embarrassed, having made Papyrus so upset he barged into her room. (Even if it was Sans' fault.) She also couldn't get over how the two must have looked when Paps barged in; Sans pinning Atara underneath him, both on her bed-

What was she thinking?

The two of them always would chill on her bed. Even with the door shut and music blaring to the point Papyrus had to yell at them both to turn it down. She didn't understand why she was so flustered all of a sudden.

She peered up at Sans through her lashes, oblivious to the way he held his breath and his eye sockets widening. A small blush dusted over his cheek bones, but Atara was quick to avert her gaze from him. "I-I hope we didn't make Paps mad, but he is right. We should probably go to bed, it's getting late." She said this while glancing at her phone; it was well past midnight now, and she knew Papyrus had to work in the morning, and so did Sans.

The older skeleton seemed to snap out of his trance he was in, shaking away the thoughts of just how cute Atara was staring up at him with those innocent green eyes, and her cheeks lit with her cute blush-

"oh uh-" Sans cleared his throat and turned away, chuckling nervously. "yea, i wouldn't worry about paps. he'll be okay." Turning back towards Atara, Sans reached out and ruffled her hair, earning him a quiet "hey" and a light slap from her hand to get him to stop. He laughed at her, thinking that she resembled a cat right then batting at his hand. "good night, sweetheart." She huffed but smiled; "Good night, Red."

With that, Sans disappeared from Atara's room, using his magic to cut through the space and void to enter his own room. He crashed on his bed, cursing at himself. He needed to pull himself together! His emotions swirled with his soul, his admiration for Atara was growing and he wasn't sure if that was a good thing or bad thing. He also wondered if maybe she felt anything for him, if she would return his feelings if he confessed to her.

shit

Those thoughts would be saved for another day. Sans needed to get some sleep, and prayed to the stars that he would get a good night's sleep tonight...

#undertale #yournaothings #cactobutt #underfell sans #underfell papyrus #monstrous multiverse

0 notes

mlobsters · 9 months

Text

supernatural s6e21 let it bleed (w. sera gamble)

watched this coffee cup handoff several times trying figure out how he was holding it LOL i was so confused. anyway, very smooth. nice little beat to reinforce how familiar they are with each other

SAM Wait, H.P. Lovecraft? Let me see that.

DEAN Am I supposed to know who that is?

BOBBY Horror writer. At the Mountains Of Madness, The Call of Cthulu?

DEAN Yeah, it's - no, I'm - I was too busy having sex with women.

okay but not too busy having sex with women to read the odyssey 🙄

from s4e14:

DEAN Like Greek myth siren, The Odyssey? Hey, I read!

DEAN Well did Cas tell you that he is Crowley's butt-buddy, you smug little dick?

sigh. 😒

great, my favorite things. dean torturing people demons and more things for him to feel guilty about.

SAM Castiel, it's Sam. Um, so look, I don't know if you're in on this whole Ben-Lisa thing, but if you have any heart whatsoever, bring 'em back to us, man. C'mon. Please. I'm begging you. I am begging you, do you understand?

CROWLEY Not to touch Sam and Dean. And I've respected that. I'm merely exploiting the obvious loophole. As long as I have the woman and boy, your fop-coiffed little heroes will be scouring the earth for them, therefore not you, and not me. Everybody wins.

again with a hair comment. dean's got like, super generic short hair that he puts some gel or pomade in. and sam just has it long but doesn't do anything to it. so weird. they're not even like the, "artfully tousled" type longer-but-still-short dude styles which does actually take some time and effort. sam's does look at least light it has a better cut with some layers but fop-coiffed? anyway. surely there's something else that's a more accurate target for insult :p

from s6e11: (addressed to dean)

TESSA Wow. They'll just let any slack-jawed haircut be Death these days.

also a sera gamble episode. sounds like she's got some feelings about dean's hair

BALTHAZAR And I can only assume that you'd be the vessel, correct? Suck up all those souls into yourself? All that power?

finally a little explanation of the logistics of the soul batteries

CASTIEL Dean, I do everything that you ask. I always come when you call, and I am your friend. Still, despite your lack of faith in me, and now your threats, I just saved you, yet again. Has anyone but your closest kin ever done more for you? All I ask is this one thing.

DEAN Trust your plan to pop Purgatory?

CASTIEL I've earned that, Dean.

cas going on a shaking hands and kissing babies tour with balthazar and dean.

all those other demon possessed people they kill willynilly but gonna try to exorcise lisa cuz we actually care about the human inside

this whole thing with slapping ben, making him shoot people. i get what they're doing and i don't like it

SAM Dean, you know, you've pulled some shady crap before, but this - has got to be the worst. Whitewashing their memories? Take it from somebody who knows -

DEAN If you ever mention Lisa and Ben to me again, I will break your nose.

hard agree, sam.

dean wasn't drowning enough in guilt and pain, let's pour on some more. dislike these story choices. also i am a really soft target, it's easy to get me emotionally invested and cry over some dumb shit. but i just can't connect with this thing they did with lisa and ben. all i see is the manipulation of the story to make dean feel the Worst

#supernatural #spnwatch #spn 6x21 #sera gamble

0 notes

jjungkooksthighs · 1 year

Note

Dear Alpha, I have been really curious about you ever since we locked eyes durribg our first meet. Consequently, I have a bag full of questions which are all based on one subject, that is, You..

1. What does your favorite scent smell like? Why is it a fav and how does it make you feel?

2. What's your fav weather and why?

3. Do you sing? I somehow feel like you would have the voice of a mesmerising angel. I already drop dead every time I hear to you speak so I can not begin to imagine how ethereal you might sound if you sing..

4. Is/are there any member(s) from the pack that you are very close with other than me?

5. Any siblings that you have? What about your parents, are you close with them? I would loveee to meet then alpha.

Now.. for as few not so safe for public view questions.. You may skip answering these if you feel uncomfortable alpha. I understand.

1. Would you consider yourself to be a masochist and submissive, sadist and dominant, or a switch?

2. I remember you telling me about how you are definitely be into the predator/play dynamics. So, what would you prefer to be, the predator or prey? Why?

3. I recently found out about a certain fantasy that people have called cnc, that is, consensual non consent. Would you be into it?

Side note:-

As much as I love being the brat that I am around you alpha, my desire to get to know you, all of you, will never ever disappear. It will only grow with time. I wanted to let you know, because I never want you to think that I'm merely attracted to you. Sure, I am🙄, but, my want and need and wish to talk to you will only grow with time and I don't think there's anything in this world that will change that. Just remember, I love you 💖

Seems you have quite the arrangement of inquiries for me, don't you, omega?

My favorite smell? That's easy. At least make this hard for me. My favorite scent is you. You smell like the finest concoction of flowers I've ever had the satisfaction of breathing in. You are like a flora that has bloomed into lavender, spruce and rosemary, but also roses, passion flowers and red clover blossoms all rooted together. I do adore the way your pheromones make it flow like water from your pores when you've been freshly fucked. Or when you wake from the night's slumber.

My favorite weather is when the air nips at your skin in the cold of winter. When the temperature has frozen the hydro atoms in the air to the point of crystallization and it is not rain that falls and blankets the earth, but snow. It's always been a favorite past time of mine to roll around in it when my fur has replaced my human skin. Why is it my favorite weather? I suppose it is because sunrises and sunsets are most beautiful when the world is a canvas of white. The gold of the sun that rises and falls is ephemeral in its ascension and reflection of the world beneath it. The frosted lake is a mirror to that which goes beyond it, and the cool air is brisk, yet satisfying on my flesh. I often liked to stand outside and let the snowflakes pepper my skin. There's nothing like the natural, eventual descent of it as it journeys to world beneath it.

I do sing, but it's never anywhere around the pack. No one has heard me. Except for you, though even you have never been awake to hear me from the other side of your window in your old den.

I would say my closest confidante is Namjoon. I have always admired him for his commitment to his cause, but also his natural leadership. If I had not become the Pack Alpha, surely he would have. Much of what I know, I attribute to him. I am grateful for his loyalty to me, but even more so for his continued and ceaseless friendship.

I had a sibling once. He was stolen from me due to sickness. As for my parents...it is complicated. I'll tell you about them another time.

As far as your NSFW questions go, it's a given that I will answer those. I am not uncomfortable in the slightest by anything regarding sex when it comes to you. Surely with how often I'm inside you, you know this.

I consider myself a dominant and a sadist.

Based on my last answer, I think you already know the answer to this one. I would prefer to be the predator. Why? Because I want to be the one on top. I want to be the one in control.

Consensual Non-Consent, hm? Interesting. Namjoon has told me about that one. It sounds fascinating. I would be interested in playing with it, but I would never engage in that unless my mate wanted it as much as I did. It has always been important to me that my omega feels like she can say no as far as sex goes. I would never want her to feel like she was forced into something she could not escape or get out of. Permission is essential, and I never do anything unless I have it.

Your little side note was nice, sweetheart. I already know all of that, but hearing it still makes me feel appreciated and loved. I am glad that you feel the way you do, because I echo those sentiments you share.

1 note · View note

sylverstorms · 3 years

Text

Cassandra x Maiden----Anonymity Ch.5 (NSFW!)

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

'Cassandra's favorite', the other maids call you.

You can't tell if they mean it as a good or a bad thing. Hell, you can't even tell which of the two it really is.

Being her 'favorite' does not make you immune to harm in any way; bruises litter your shoulders and sides from when she grabs you too forcefully and cuts from her nails sting at your neck and stomach, renewed each time she comes to take a kiss.

None of that existed back when you were something of zero interest to her. On the other hand, she's told you several times you're 'a thing of beauty' --her thing of beauty-- and she won't let anything ruin a natural piece of art.

If you know anything about Cassandra, it is that she takes art very seriously. Your interpretation of the word greatly varies from hers, you're sure, but it doesn't change the fact she won't easily raise a sickle on you.

Cassandra won't break you. She won't let Daniela do so, either. Bela doesn't even care to hurt you. It means you're safe for now...

Unless Lady Dimitrescu decides you're best taken away from her daughter. Permanently. You don't dare meet her eyes, but you can feel them on you, scrutinizing, every night at dinner.

You're pretty sure she knows.

The thought sits heavy in your mind while you're cleaning bloodied steps off a corridor at three in the small hours of the morning, along with another maid. Adella is a quiet and hardworking one; the two of you make a good team and you know you'll be done in record time.

But it only takes a single moment for everything to go wrong.

Adella is hastily walking back to you with a bucket of fresh water in hand when you hear a different set of steps approach from the side. You make to warn her, but it's already too late.

The collision happens at the turn where the two passageways meet. As soon as you see black robes dripping wet you pray to whichever God will listen for mercy.

Because Cassandra has not been in a good mood all night and she is not the understanding type regardless.

Adella gasps and shakingly backs away, a waterfall of apologies spilling from her lips. Cassandra rolls her neck and draws her sickle, advancing on her slowly. She looks terrifying.

"Don't move now." she orders.

And you just- can't watch this. You don't know why, but the realization you cannot hits you like a speeding truck. You can't stand there while the the woman you frequently kiss cuts away at a girl you know is as good and compassionate as a human under your circumstances can possibly get.

You react.

Before you can even think how impossibly stupid you're being, you drop the mop in your hands and dash forward, crashing into Cassandra's form. Your right arm wraps around her waist and your left grips at her wrist like a vice. Your heart is pounding. You don't even know what you're saying;

"Cassandra, no! Please. Don't." Cold and rigid as she is, it may as well be a statue you're holding. "Cassandra, stop. Please." Once impulse dies down, you realize you've just signed your death wish for two seconds of playing hero.

And you thought you were smarter than that. Ha. But maybe, just maybe, part of you wants to die, so long as it's quick and painless.

With Cassandra, though, you doubt it. Especially with how lethal she sounds when she says:

"You. Disappear." You hear, rather than see, Adella scurrying off for her life. "As for you..."

You only register a blur, nausea, cold nails piercing at your neck, over already existing marks. You are shoved into the nearest wall so powerfully you can't breathe for all of ten seconds. It's a wonder you don't hear any cracks from within your body.

Cassandra is on you, her fingers harsh on your chin and breath chilly on your lips. "Good pets don't bark against their own masters. What made you so bold, hm?"

You don't answer, too busy summoning your mental strength for what comes next. The way her eyes and the lines of her pretty face have hardened, she looks nothing like the flirty girl who comes to steal kisses from you at random times during the night.

"Maybe I've been too nice to you. The first time you call my name and it's for some other maid?"

She looks like she wants to let out a bitter laugh, break something and slice you into stripes simultaneously. And then you realize; Cassandra is jealous.

It doesn't get any worse than that.

"Maybe I should make sure you never say anything again." The corner of her lips curls up in dark amusement as she talks. "You don't talk much, anyway."

Well. She did say she wouldn't let anyone ruin your looks. Never promised anything about what's on the inside.

You're shaking, even if her grasp doesn't leave much room to do so. Your brain is restlessly trying to come up with something to get you out of this mess-

"I'm of way more use to you with my tongue intact." you somehow manage to speak without stuttering. It makes you wonder where the hell this confidence came from.

Cassandra stills for a moment. Her grip eases the slightest amount, probably from surprise.

You wonder what the hell you're even doing, yourself, when you bring your hands to her sides and lean in, to the curve of her nice jawline. You've never kissed her neck before, but you remember from the times you've given her a massage that she's very sensitive around it.

Cautiously, you press your mouth to the soft spot under her ear.

She smells so good and her skin feels so smooth you're not exactly forcing yourself to kiss her. If you're going to be mutilated anyway, the part of you that must be severely messed up muses, you may as well take some pleasure for yourself beforehand. Who knows, it may change her mind along the way.

So you lick her there and suck over her faint pulse. You don't get any stimuli from her, at first.

Until her hand trails from your shoulder to your nape, urging you harder against her. It's the green light to keep going.

You put all your skill into it as you lavish her neck and collarbones with open-mouthed kisses. She's loose and moaning low in her throat now.

You can't tell why, but the sound echoes right though your adrenaline-induced system, tickles down your spinal cord to pool low in your stomach. You either had a kink for danger you never knew of, or you developed one in the castle.

Whatever the case, your fingers are working on the buttons of her outfit and she doesn't seem like stopping you has even crossed her mind.

When the robes barely hang onto her shoulders, Cassandra maneuvers you to the closest room, shuts the door and presses you against it. Hard. Your lips slide together hungrily. You taste wine on her tongue.

At this point, your hands are the only thing supporting her outfit on her. She looks too fucking sexy for words like this, half-undressed, lipstick smeared, so turned on and ready for you. But you also want to see more of her, so you let the black fabric drop.

She's getting impatient, though. Being more vocal, tugging your hand to the apex of her legs.

"Cassandra." you moan when you push the midnight lace of her panties aside and touch her. She's so wet.

Her mouth falls open in a soundless gasp, brows drawn softly. "Oh, you're lucky I like my name on your lips." she says, breathless.

You did start this trying to prove to her how useful your tongue can be attached to your body, however... so it's only fair that's how you finish it.

Finish her.

Cassandra looks dazed and confused when you kneel in front of her, but it's quickly replaced with a broken moan when you take her into your mouth. You revel in every single gasp you coax out of her, every minuscule shake of her perfect thighs.

She bites into her own hand when she reaches her peak, nails leaving four parallel marks on the wall.

You're gentlewomanly enough to pull her outfit up for her while she's coming down from her high. Your gaze takes its sweet time admiring the contours of her chest as you button it closed. She really is the most attractive girl you've ever seen, if you somehow don't take into consideration her body count.

"Good?" you ask when she opens her pretty eyes to look at you.

"It's not cute to be smug, plaything." Cassandra makes a soft grimace at you, though you can see the lazy, satisfied smile tugging at the corner of her lip. "But. I suppose your tongue has its uses to me, after all."

You gently push off the door to let her exit at her leisure. The movement makes you realize you won't really be able to move tomorrow, with how sore you already are.

To your surprise, Cassandra takes a moment longer in the room.

She turns back to you and raises her hands to your torso, then carefully adjusts your wrinkled shirt. Her long fingers smooth over the imperfections she caused...

And you don't know why after everything the two of you just did, it's this that feels the most intimate.

The same digits brush over your throat as she pulls away.

By the time your mind starts working right again, Cassandra is already gone. Absently, you trace over the weeping scratches on your neck.

Later, at the main hall of the castle...

"Oh, boo, look who's late again." Daniela rolls her eyes at Cassandra's fashionably delayed arrival.

"Surprise, surprise." Bela smirks, casually leaned against the side of the fireplace.

"Are you two done being insufferable or should I come by later?" Cassandra asks.

"And scar our ears and minds with another round of your 'oh's and 'ah's, sister? I think not." Daniela comments.

Bela raises an eyebrow in amusement. "Had a nice time?"

"You two have very active imaginations, you know? Tells a lot about you." Cassandra chuckles. "She was just giving me a massage. But do go on. Be thirsty. I can wait."

Daniela and Bela share a look, thrown off their game by the nonchalance.

Cassandra hides a smirk under her hood and steps out first, into the peerless dark.

#cassandra dimitrescu #cassandra dimitrescu x oc #bela dimitrescu #daniela dimitrescu #resident evil village #fanfiction #the thirst is real in this one guys #you have been warned

333 notes · View notes

urupotter · 3 years

Text

So while I've said before that I don't like the HP subreddit, I still frequent it because occasionally I read something insightful. This is one such case, where I read a reading of Lupin that I'd never seen before in response to a comment of mine analyzing the shrieking shack confrontation between Snape, Remus, Sirius and the golden trio, where I mentioned that Lupin was a gaslighter so I wanted to share. It was created by reddit user u/UsuallySiSometimesNo and is posted here with his permission. We had a little conversation in the comments. Read it under the cut

UsuallySiSometimesNo: That struck a cord with me, too. I didn't think about that on a conscious level before, but when I read it, it felt instantly true.

Honestly, I think the strongest examples of Lupin gaslighting are actually done to himself. The biggest, character-defining example, I think, is that after finding friendship with James, Sirius, and Peter, he becomes so desperate not to be ostracized from them (due to his issues of self-worth and his personal brand of impostor syndrome) that he deliberately and routinely feeds himself false narratives about their behavior until he can no longer tell fact from fiction, even as he's experiencing it.

Their relentless bullying of Snape? A childhood rivalry.

Their casual bullying of other students? Kids being young and stupid.

Their clear disinterest verging on contempt for Peter, someone less fortunate and vulnerable with whom they're supposed to be good friends? Just mates being mates.

Even actions taken against Lupin, himself, are revised in his memory to be 'no big deal', because he desperately needs that to be true. Let's pretend for a moment that Snape indisputably deserved to be slaughtered by a werewolf the night Sirius told him how to get past the Whomping Willow. Sirius did not send Snape to be killed by any old werewolf. What happened that night was that Sirius - one of Remus' best friends, if not his actual best friend - attempted to use Remus' curse/illness against someone (which is a big enough betrayal on it's own) without ever telling Remus that when he woke up in the morning (covered in blood and in the presence of a shredded corpse) it would be to find that he had committed the act he was most petrified he might one day commit. In setting Snape up to be killed by Lupin, Sirius, at the very least, risked Lupin's sanity, and, at the very most, risked Lupin being sentenced to death.

Now, I understand that Sirius wasn't thinking about all of that when he did what he did, and I, as a someone removed from the situation (and armed with the additional character/situational knowledge granted to a reader) can even understand why Sirius' own trauma led him to grant such a blind death sentence to Snape (which I think is related to a point you made elsewhere, u/Adventure_Time_Snail, about Sirius' "violence towards those who trigger his fundamental fear of wizard fascists" because of his abusive upbringing). But Lupin's perspective is not one of an unbiased observer. And once James found out what was happening and pulled Snape back before it was too late (which, I would think, was more to save Lupin than to save Snape) and once Remus awoke the next to day to discover everything that transpired the night before, I find it hard to believe there wasn't at least some conversation about the true gravity of the situation. And yet, even all these years later, Lupin doesn't bat an eye when Sirius not only doesn't display shame when the event is mentioned in POA, but offers something akin to regret, NOT at the fact that his actions could have gotten Lupin killed, but that that they DIDN'T get Snape killed: "It served him right...", he sneered. etc. etc.

I think the obvious question here, is 'Even disregarding what Sirius did to Snape - how can Lupin be okay with the knowledge that Sirius has no regret, at all, for what he did to him, even now that they're adults?' Well, we're not in Lupin's point of view in the books, which means we can't hear his internal monologue, but I think a satisfactory answer to the question is that he's done a substantial amount of internal gymnastics in order to get to a point where he doesn't see this as a big deal, or even as something that he has a right to be upset about.... just like a gaslighter does to their victim.

Again, because we're not in Lupin's POV, we can't point to the exact instances that such internal gaslighting took place, but, based on what we do observe from Harry's POV (and based on external knowledge of gaslighting as a true-to-life concept) I wouldn't be surprised if Lupin so desperately needs everything to be okay that he derides himself for feeling bad or betrayed, that he calls himself stupid for thinking terrible things that have happened to him are a big deal, that he wars with himself about how people who are his friends and who are so good to him and who are better friends than he thinks he deserves could possibly do something to harm him/others, and that he beats down whatever emotions and senses and gut feelings he has that tells him something his friends have done might be very wrong. What we see in the books is a man who makes excuses for his friends and harbors a warped perception of reality in much the same way victims of gaslighting do, and he seems to exploit his own insecurities in order to instill doubt in his own experiences in much the same way perpetrators of gaslighting do.

I can't help but think that, by the time Lupin tells Harry that Snape harbors a particularly strong hatred for James because James was a better Quidditch player, Lupin has become so adept at gaslighting himself that he actually believes it.

tl;dr: One of Lupin's defining characteristics is that he gaslights himself out of a desperate need to be liked by others, since he has a difficult time liking himself and seems to believe all of his relationships are incredibly fragile.

Urupotter:

This is a fascinating reading on Lupin that I've never seen. I don't read him the same way, in that I think Lupin actually does know that what he's doing is wrong, he just doesn't have the moral courage to act on his conscience. (I view him as the anti Snape, great conscience, but abysmal moral courage, while Snape had unbelievable moral courage but a shitty conscience. Their arcs are about growing their moral courage and their conscience respectively) Realizing that his negligence almost got Harry killed is what triggers his arc, concluding when he goes back to Tonks and Teddy after running away, taking responsibility for his actions for the first time.

But this reading is so interesting that I'll have to reflect on it. Do you mind if I post it on my Harry Potter tumblr blog? I'll credit you of course, I would just like to discuss it with my followers. Of course if you don't want to I won't.

UsuallySiSometimesNo:

Honestly, I think the lack of in-depth conversation about Remus Lupin (at least compared to fan favorites Sirius Black and Severus Snape) is a missed opportunity and a shame. Don't get me wrong, I can discuss Sirius and Snape until blue in the face, but Lupin's arc is just as powerful in an understated (and often underestimated) way. The muddy, oversimplified truth is, without the fatal-flaw decision making of all four Marauders throughout their lives, the series of events proceeding the first chapter of the first book don't happen, and the story we all know and love never comes to be.

And speaking of sparking a discussion about Lupin...

I think Lupin actually does know that what he's doing is wrong, he just doesn't have the moral courage to act on his conscience.

You know what? I agree. And that's what makes him so interesting, I think. He is constantly and dependably full to bursting with internal conflict. When his friends are wrong/do something wrong/say something wrong, he can and does immediately identify the situation as wrong. When he does something wrong, or when he does nothing in the face of something wrong, in that moment I believe he knows the full weight of the situation. Like you said, he has a strong conscience, as well as a deeper, perhaps more nuanced understanding of right and wrong than do, for example, James and Sirius. Now, Lupin needs his friends. They're not just people to hang out with, they're a lifeline for him. He's not going to engage in conflict with them if there is even the slightest chance that he might lose them (for a variety of reasons, he lacks, as you said, the moral courage to do so). But he's also a generally decent human being, and with a strong conscience comes the capacity for sincere guilt and remorse. So, not only will he not confront his friends, he needs it to be okay that he doesn't confront them. And it's at that point that I think the self gaslighting is triggered.

But Lupin is intelligent and nobody's fool, so the gaslighting creates only a thin layer of ice over the problem. Just enough of a cover that he can live with the things he would otherwise deeply regret. I do think he believes the alternative reality he makes for himself to be accurate as long as it isn't really challenged. Crack the ice, though, and we see him express remorse and reveal an underlying awareness of past and present truths. But then the moment is over, and the war between the uncomfortably and full weight of the truth and his need for the companionship of his friends returns, and then the gaslighting begins again, allowing him an easier return to his closest friends (and eventually his closest friend, singular, after the others have been taken from him as was his fear all along) without conflict and with minimal strain on his conscience.

Once Sirius, the last of his original chosen family is gone - truly gone, as opposed to 'located elsewhere' as he was when in prison - following OOtP, suddenly Lupin's arc takes off at a greater speed than at any point prior. He's now literally lost all of the people he'd been terrified of figuratively losing. Although there are still people and things he cares about, he isn't as dependent on any of them as he was on those foundational friendships, and the finality of their absence allows him to finally grow beyond his stifling cycle of reality shifting, confront the truths of his reality and his circumstances, and, as you said, finally take responsibility by returning to Tonks and Teddy - a decision that, ultimately, triggers his death (I don't mean to imply that it was a bad decision or that it's the sole cause of his death, but Rowling has said that being 'out of practice' contributed to his loss at the Battle of Hogwarts, which makes for a fantastic tragedy).

I don't mean to overstate the importance of this theory or imply that it's always present when he's on-stage, and, as with anyone, many other elements, of course, factor into his actions/words/motives. But I think it's a fascinating potential component of his character all the same. If you have more thoughts on this, I love to hear them - and I look forward to reading the discussion on your blog!

So what do you think? Is this a valid reading of Lupin? I'd say it is, but I'm interested in reading my followers thoughts!

#remus lupin #lupin #severus snape #sirius black #moony #padfoot #the marauders #marauders #harry potter #hp #mwpp

258 notes · View notes

skipps-writes-for-gojo-satoru · 3 years

Text

I have something very important to tell you and 🤔anon, first of all, not only do i agree with every single analysis they posted here, but also to say that i can even relate to some. Being an INTJ i was more than capable of understanding Gojo's character, their analysis only helped even more so now. It's not a surprise at all that he is so misunderstood, i said this many times, and coming from my own experience in real life as an INTJ it's very frustrating but it's just how it is i suppose. Now hear me out, Gojo is emotional, even anon said this and it's true, INTJs and ENTPs are not incapable of love, this is what i saw alot of people point out, refering to us as robots. No, this is not true and it's very rude to even think like this. Yes i know that we a ruled more by logical thinking than emotional, but these emotions to us, they are so valuable and so special that we reserve them. Reserve them for those we find closest to our hearts and our minds, someone we trust wholeheartedly, someone we CAN let our emotional guard down around. We are NOT incapable. And Gojo is not an exception here, he is extremely complex, extremely misunderstood, he too favours using logic over emotions, but he has no one close to him, no one that understands him. The only person that came closest to doing so was Geto, and now he's gone. Gojo is so lonely, so touch starved, but he doesn't show, why? Because he has no one to show it to, and this is very heartbreaking and sad. I relate alot to this kind of thinking and behaviour, i am not afraid to be affectionate and caring, but there's gotta be someone to understand first, someone i know i can trust completely like i said. I am not saying emotions and feelings are weakness, no not even close, they are what makes us human, but the thing is, we find them so special and reserved, they to us are something that takes time and patience to let out. But when we do, it's simply the most amazing thing ever, it's so worth it, for both sides. And this is also why the type of woman Gojo would fall for is so rare, but this rarity is what makes it all the more worthwhile and beautiful. They would balance each other out and yes i also agree with anon that she would definitely be a girl version of Geto, more affectionate and patient, understanding, willing to debate with Gojo, call him out on his bs but also teach him, show him that it's a nice feeling showing you care on a deeper level. Someone with whom he can build a better world, even before the romantic relationship, someone who will not betray him, prove to stay by his side and enjoy his silly antics. This is when Gojo will accept his feelings because he knows, ENTPs do not commit to just anyone no way, they know, they sense when they see a person they can rely on and share their life with, they want to build! Build together with this person, it's how they are, and then they'll be sure of their desicion, they'll readily accept their feelings because they know this person is worthy and this is someone they CAN let their emotional guard down and vulnerability. A person that is willing to also share ideas, thoughts, plans and whatnot with them. It's really sad how alot of people quickly rushed and judged Gojo, again we do not judge a book by it's cover. You don't know what's inside the heart until they willingly open it up to you, maybe then they'll have a better understanding. And now to the final point here, i've been sharing my art with you because this is another way of how i show appreciation to something i love, like, this is also another way of me pouring out my emotions, on a simple piece of paper. Again, we are NOT emotionless robots, we are capable of affection and love, we just want to be understood first. Then we will also understand others. And don't worry Skipps, i definitely plan to draw more for you, Gojo deserves all the love he can get so he will get it from us if nothing else!

Thanks for taking your time to read~ 🥰

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH you couldn't have explained it any other way omg that was so heart touching. I literally felt the emotions behind your words. That was beautifully written and I couldn't agree more with what you said! I'm sobbing I want Gojo to find that special someone you literally described his soulmate I JUST WANT TO SHOWER HIM IN LOVE I'll freakin yeet who dares call you robots

And thank you so much for your beautiful art I absolutely love them just seeing Gojo being loved makes my heart melt in happiness how you're able to pour those emotions onto paper ahhhh YOURE AMAZING ASJKHGF ❤❤❤ OHHH IM SO EXCITED FOR YOUR NEXT ART 😍

#@melonnbar #jujutsu kaisen fanart #gojou satoru #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen gojo #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk gojo #gojou satoru x reader #gojo satoru #gojo satoru x reader #jjk imagines #skipps chat #submission

98 notes · View notes

ganymedesclock · 4 years

Note

how do you figure that the knight has a personality. from what i've seen, it's purpose is to stop the plague, and every action it takes is to further that goal. there aren't any sidequests that bring it to other, irrelevant things.

Anon pardon me for being rude but this just sounds a lot like you really weren’t paying any attention at all.

The first thing Ghost did was leave Hallownest entirely

They came back specifically because Hollow was dying. Numerous people speculate or imply about this and it is shown to us in the opening cinematic- Hollow screams, and then Ghost specifically returns to Hallownest. Given Ghost shows neither loyalty nor reverence to any figure of the Pale King, in any route, it is hard for me to believe this is their instruction.

Literally numerous characters explicitly discuss that Ghost is making independent decisions. Open the wiki and find a character page and read their dialogue. I challenge you to find basically any character in the entire game who has more than a single sentence of dialogue, that does not talk about Ghost making choices and having opinions.

The soundtrack that plays during Hollow’s fight sharply changes tonally in response to Hollow stabbing themselves. No one else is observing Hollow. “We” as player do not have a presence that is acknowledged in the meta of the game. Ever. Ergo: These moments of sadness are emotions we are told that Ghost has.

The person who tells us that Ghost is empty was wrong about it explicitly and big time. Literally the entire reason Hollow didn’t work is because the Pale King was wrong about the vessels and his entire civilization ate shit because of it. In case you missed the charnel pit filled with dead children, or the fact that you basically find his dead body curled up in an empty throne room where you then have to smack it out of its chair and onto the floor in order to clear the area, PK is not a trustworthy source of information. He is factually observably incorrect about several things (see: the lore tablet in the Howling Cliffs that states there “is no world beyond” and implies sapience only exists within Hallownest’s bounds when half the cast casually talks about and is canonically shown via things like Quirrel’s prequel comic to have come to Hallownest from outside, and been sapient the whole time. PK HIMSELF came to Hallownest from the outside and was sapient.

Also the specific thing you cite that would be counter-evidence to Ghost lacking a personality happens. like. all the time. Things that aren’t relevant to Ghost’s Assigned Objective:

Literally any ending except “Hollow Knight” which you can complete by ignoring everyone and running in a straight line to the goal. Even that ending requires Ghost to conduct independent synthesis of ideas to figure out how to complete this, which an entity that has a personality and thoughts does things.

Any objective that requires the Kingsoul calls for you to wander what White Lady notes is a long way off the path and obtain objects you were never “supposed” to have when your path ahead to replace Hollow is clear.

Every aspect of the Delicate Flower quest

The Colosseum of Fools

The entirety of the Grimm Troupe DLC

The entirety of Hidden Dreams DLC

The entirety of Godmaster DLC

Sitting with Quirrel at the conclusion of his storyline

Sitting and listening to Marissa

Meditating with Mato, or seeking out the Nailmasters in the first place

Beating up Millibelle for robbing you

Accepting the Hunter’s Journal and completing it

Fighting Hornet a second time and acquiring the King’s Brand (which is used to defy an explicit order of the Pale King, that the Abyss is to be left sealed)

The grub sidequest

Pursuing any of the character storylines, such as Cloth, Bretta, Tiso, or Elderbug’s to its logical conclusion

This list is incomplete and could continue

It certainly looks like actually most of the game consists of actions that make no sense from the perspective of an empty creature who is completely apathetic, lacks a personality, and only obeys orders given to it by PK, and, after all, we are roleplaying the experience of being Ghost, considering never at any point does the game ever acknowledge the player as an entity or break the fourth wall. The closest it comes is the Shrine of Believers which is extremely esoteric to access.

It would also certainly seem I’m really mad about it, which I am: Anon, please consider that I am an autistic adult. Please consider that many people with autism, especially in childhood, can be:

Nonverbal

Prone to repetitive behavior or acting in a way that others describe as “robotic”

Lack what is considered “typical emoting” / could seem to be “blank-faced”

Basically, everything the vessels are. And autistic people are, you know, real actual human beings with thoughts and feelings. You know what people argue, all the time? That we aren’t. Especially young nonverbal kids.

Do you understand maybe why I am saltier than small oceans about this subject?

If so, I really hope you understand that while I cannot physically reach through the screen and stop you from believing this, broaching this attitude does cause me, as an autistic person, to trust you significantly less, especially since we are talking about a game that calls a huge amount of attention to the fact that all of the vessels suffered and were hurt by what was done to them. Broken Vessel reaches out to you when they fall. Hollow actively stabs themselves during their fight to prevent Radiance from using themselves to hurt you and comes back as a Shade to attack her in Dream No More.

To insist there’s not evidence of Ghost having a personality is to both insist, in arrogance, that all of the humanity of playing Hollow Knight is only brought by the player- when we are not a force that exists in this world- and to deny the fact that there is anything wrong with the Abyss. Which is clearly not the conclusion the game intended to present you with. There is a reason we feel something about the Abyss, and not about the workshop in the White Palace where bits of Kingsmould armor are stacked up. And even the Kingsmoulds, it’s made clear, have at least the capacity to grow and form opinions given the implications of The Collector.

#Hollow Knight #long post #Anonymous

1K notes · View notes

dazedbydazai · 4 years

Text

예뻤어 - You Were Beautiful

➤ Pairing: Dazai Osamu x Fem!Reader

➤ Genre: Angst

➤ Warning: Character death(s)

➤ WC: 2.0K

(A/N: This was requested by an anon and was inspired by DAY6′s song, You were Beautiful. I suggest listening to that while reading this. It just hits right.)

Dazai Osamu was a very secretive and elusive man. He had multiple tricks up his sleeve, he was manipulative, cunning, and unforgiving. He didn't know what love was, he abandoned that emotion long ago. He was merciless and self-centered, only caring about things that will benefit him. Dazai Osamu was not a good man.

But all of that changed when his closest friend, Odasaku, died.

Promising to turn over a new leaf, Dazai left the Port Mafia in pursuit of something more beautiful, something good, and he had also vowed to not let anyone else enter his life and be attached to them in fear of losing them like he lost his friend.

Dazai vowed. He closed himself off, hiding behind a pretentious and flamboyant character that fools people with his handsome smile and witty banter. Dazai didn't want to repeat the same mistake twice. Dazai had already learned.

He chanted this in his mind over and over again but alas, he was not able to stick to his word. Because just after a few months of leaving his past self behind, he suddenly met you.

A beautiful woman. Funny, kind, and just as intelligent as Dazai, you showed up in front of him like an angel and broke down all the walls he's built.

Dazai didn't understand why, of all people, did you come to him? Why waste your time on someone who's suicidal and clearly not of sound mind? Why bother entertaining his antics and flirtatious behavior when you knew that he only did this to cover up his ugliness within?

Simple. The answer was simple.

It was just in your nature.

You were gentle when you first embraced Dazai. You were understanding when he told you about his past. You were soft spoken when you told him that it's okay. You were kind, so very kind, that Dazai didn't bother to put up his walls around you anymore.

Dazai let himself fall. He wanted to hold you in his arms longer, wanted you to kiss his pain and anguish away, he wanted to love you. And he did.

That promise he made himself was long forgotten as he sighed contently, letting your fingers drag through his hair, gently fixing it up.

"Dazai? Are you falling asleep?" You giggle as you look at him through the mirror of your dresser.

Dazai blinked a few times before grinning at you. "Hmm... if I say yes, would you let me sleep in your bed tonight?"

You lightly smack his forehead and laugh. "If you meant that literally, then go ahead."

You were always so welcoming with Dazai, no, actually with all the people you meet. You treat them equally, always talking to them with a smile on your face. But Dazai likes to think that he's given special treatment from you. You are, after all, the closest person he's ever let in his life next to Odasaku.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Being with you was easy. You calmed Dazai's heart, relaxed his mind, made him feel more human.

"You are the most beautiful person I've ever met," He had told you one day as you ate your lunch together. If it was anybody else, they'd assume that Dazai was just being his usual flirty self. But since it was you, you knew that those words held something deeper as you look in his brown orbs.

Being with Dazai was difficult, to say the least, but you kept up with him, determined to help him in any way you can. And it wasn't long before you found yourself falling for him too.

It was in the gentle way he held your hand, the glint in his eyes whenever he talks to you, the softness and vulnerability of his voice when he lets out his inner thoughts and nightmares.

You were always there, listening through each and every one of his stories. Even when he had called you up at three o'clock in the morning, voice hoarse and shaky as he apologized to you.

"Did you have another nightmare?" You ask softly and when Dazai says yes, you sit up on your bed and walk him through it. You always knew how to calm him down, knew the right words to say, and Dazai was thankful for that.

Dazai truly loved you and you loved him too.

That's why even if he knows he won't be able to hold you in his arms forever, he still takes the chance and asks you to be his.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

It feels like heaven. Dazai thought as he held you in his arms one cold winter night.

It was perfect. How your hand fit in his as he kissed your knuckles gently.

"You are so beautiful, my belladonna."

Those words never failed to make you blush, your heart skipping a beat as Dazai traces the features of your face with his finger.

"Stay with me like this forever, Dazai. I want to keep you close to me for as long as I can," You whisper these words as you close your eyes, feeling sleepy.

"Don't say that like you're going someplace else, my love. I will forever be by your side," Dazai replied as he kissed your forehead and wrapped the blanket closer to your bodies.

But maybe Dazai should have taken your words more seriously that night. Because a few weeks later, he will find himself regretting not holding onto you tighter.

Life was cruel, Dazai knew that from a young age. Things never go according to plan. One moment you're up in the clouds, and the next you're falling head first to the ground.

That's how Dazai felt today as he got a call from the hospital.

Leaving behind his work at the agency and rushing over to you in a panic, Dazai felt his world slowly crumble to pieces as he saw the state you were in.

"What happened?" Dazai asked the doctor as he stood still at the doorway of your room. Dazai's eyes were blank as he listened to the doctor explaining that you suddenly fainted in the middle of the street. That it was probably due to the strain in your heart, a terminal illness that Dazai had no idea you had.

But maybe he already knew. He saw you multiple times trying to take some medicine in secret, as if you were afraid of letting Dazai see. At one time he found a bottle of pills in your cabinet but he didn't dare ask what it was for.

It was silly, how you two were so alike, how you also masked your own pain by that beautiful smile of yours.

When the doctor had finished and left, Dazai approached your bed and sat by your side. Even with your eyes closed and your lips not the usual shade of pink, Dazai still found you beautiful and he simply stared at you, waiting for you to wake up.

When you come to, the first thing you see is the familiar tousle of Dazai’s hair as he laid his head on your hospital bed. You felt your words get caught up in your throat and your hand flinch.

“Belladonna?” Dazai called out groggily, having woken up by your movement.

Immediately, as you lock eyes with him, you felt your tears forming and falling at the corner of your eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Was all you could say as you cried. You felt horrible, both physically and emotionally. All this time you had kept this a secret from him, from someone who has been so honest with you from the start. You apologized over and over again, not knowing what else to say.

Dazai hushed you by wiping your tears away. “What are you sorry for, my belladonna?”

You force the lump down your throat as you look up at the ceiling, suddenly unable to face Dazai head on.

“For everything,” You whisper. “I know I should have told you about this. But I just…”

Dazai waited for you to continue, staying silent as he brushed his thumb across your cheeks.

You shut your eyes and cry harder, your body shaking horribly. “I didn’t want to worry you, didn’t want you to see me like this. I look and feel so helpless.”

You clutch the sheets in your hands and take a shaky breath. “All my life they told me to just stay still, to not venture out in the world. I know I don’t have long to live and I planned to listen to them and close myself off. But that was until I met you.”

You find the courage to finally face Dazai again and your heart sank deeper as you see the blank look in his eyes. “I became selfish. Ever since I met you, I suddenly wanted to live. I wanted to experience everything life had to offer. I wanted to fall in love, and I’m so glad that I found that in you. And I don’t regret leaving my past behind and meeting you. But…”

You reach up and hold Dazai’s cheek and that’s when you saw the familiar pain cross his eyes. “The only regret that I have now is that I put you in this position once again.”

Dazai knew what you meant and he couldn’t help the deep sigh that escapes his lips. Closing his eyes, he leans into your touch and says, “Can’t you stay with me for a little longer, Y/N?”

It was the first time in a long while that he called you by your name and it hurt so bad how sad his tone was when saying it.

“I honestly don’t know Dazai,” You admit you aren’t sure how longer you can stay with him, how longer you can live. And as you helplessly lay on the bed and hold Dazai’s hand in yours tightly, you couldn’t help but pray to all the gods to give you a little bit more time.

Life was indeed cruel and it left a bitter taste in Dazai’s mouth as he stared out the window of your shared apartment. There were a lot of things left unsaid between you two but one thing was for certain, you really didn’t want Dazai to see the pain you were hiding inside.

You only wanted him to see the good things, the beautiful things. Wanted him to enjoy life and continue on his journey. But how was he supposed to do that now? He wanted to be angry, wanted to scream at the universe for kicking him down like this over and over again, but he can’t bring himself to. He couldn’t hate you. No. Not you.

Because you were beautiful.

From the moment he first saw you, he knew how gorgeous you were from inside and out.

You were beautiful.

Every time you said you loved him with that sparkle in your eyes. Every time you called his name in that sweet voice of yours. Every time you kissed and wrapped your arms around him.

You were beautiful.

Even as you saw all the ugliness of life, you still managed to smile.

You were beautiful.

Even as you said you were sorry, with tears staining your cheeks.

You were beautiful.

Even as you said your final good bye when you thought Dazai was sound asleep by your side.

Everything about you was beautiful, and deep down, Dazai was glad he found you. He was thankful that you guided him to the light. He was happy he got to spend a significant time with you.

But no matter how beautiful your time spent with him was, he still couldn’t help but clench his fist in anger. Why did you have to leave me too?

It was a question Dazai always asked but he never found an answer. Again, for the second time in his life, someone so dear slipped away from his hands.

Sometimes he wanted to end it as well, to fall into the hands of death. But he was suddenly afraid to push through it. He was afraid to forget you, to never see you again even as he closes his eyes. He was scared to lose his precious memories of you.

Because all of it was beautiful in his eyes.

And now as he lays in bed, he doesn’t know what hurts and haunts him more; the nightmares of his past life, or the constant dreams he has of you and your beautiful smile.

#bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs angst #bungou stray dogs x reader #bungo stray dogs #bungo stray dogs angst #bungo stray dogs x reader #bsd x reader #bsd #bsd angst #bsd dazai #dazai osamu #dazai x reader #bsd dazai angst

296 notes · View notes

fierceawakening · 3 years

Text

ceanothusspinosus @fierceawakening This is also reading to me like a particular kind of ND x (white/culturally Christian) thing in a way that makes it really easy for this kind of disconnect to happen? Feels familiar with some of my own background, anyway, I also hung out around atheist blogs and such when I left the church. Kind of like - there are these ideas about what religion is and what it’s for, and they work a lot better to categorize and reason about Christianity than anything else.

I think that's where I get confused, though. Like when I first read those posts, I saw people saying "we don't do this thing!" and got super excited, because if they don't do that thing, maybe religion makes sense! And that would be WEIRD, considering the only bit that makes sense to me about my religion of origin is "go be the hands and feet of Jesus in the world," and I like that but I can get that from... pretty much any group that focuses on becoming altruistic/developing and deepening empathy for others so why religion anyway?

So I read those posts, and I liked some bits, where they said "we argue all the time about what this means." But then I started noticing that this freedom to question didn't seem to include "is this even a good book? Why are we venerating it?" And when I asked THAT, I seemed to get a lot of weird ragepants. Which I was kind of expecting because I've seen a lot of ragepants, but which I was also kind of not expecting because "we're better because we know you're SUPPOSED TO argue with it!" seemed at first like it included "Is this guy a douche? If so, why is Reading About Douche a thing we do a lot?"

ceanothusspinosus Then people of other traditions are understandably annoyed about this, but it’s still extremely hard to articulate what you get out of participating in a religion or a culture period, I think, and add in the ND difficulty using cultural categories to parse internal experience and it makes these conversations even more difficult. It’s like the “what is romance?” thing where I’m not actually aromantic but I think I have seen a single post with a definition of romance that made any sense to me.

Oh my god. I'm with you so much on the romance thing. People keep saying "if you don't know what romantic attraction is, are you aro?"

And part of me thinks that makes sense, but then part of me is like "But I want one exclusive partner who lives with me and is probably married to me and who I have sex and snuggles with and know very well, and... that's EXACTLY how I understand the thing people say is the privileged standard, so I'm pretty sure I fit it. I just don't know which piece of it is 'romantic.' So my answer to 'do you fit the default norm?' is 'probably,' but my answer to 'do you romantic attraction' is 'do i what now'"

I just lost some paragraphs and IDK how or why, but to recreate them: The closest I've ever come to feeling like a religion fit me was actually neopaganism, because it solves the Douchebag Problem. If there are many gods, and they have personalities and likes and dislikes, then when you hit a story where one of them is acting like a goddamn fuckhead it makes sense, even if they're your own patron. They've never promised to be better than the average human, they just have powers. So I can (say) really like Zeus but think DO NOT STICK YOUR DICK IN THAT KLSNSKLG without it being "sacrilege." "I follow my dick around" is... pretty clearly a thing Zeus often does. That's just how all the stories say he is.

(If you're interested, the reason I didn't stick around was because I kept running into the problem where these are stories, and if being really invested in these stories was "religion" if they were cultural tales, why wasn't it "religion" if they were Megatron or Thanos or or or... Which led me back to "I don't think I can call myself 'religious' because I'm not sure what that actually means. So I'm... just an atheist again I guess.")

Whereas if you say God shouldn't have done that to Christians, they flip. And if you say God shouldn't have done that to Jews, well, I THOUGHT they wouldn't flip, as they seem to ask why He's Like That fairly often. But then they make posts saying "Don't say He's Like That. That's culturally disrespectful." And this post series happens, because... but He's TOTALLY LIKE THAT? ("Go kill those guys over there and bring me their foreskins." Ordering your followers to go kill those guys is bad enough, but... my guy YOU ARE NOT EVEN HUMAN. What the HELL are you gonna do with a bunch of DEAD GUY FORESKINS.) I thought the point was "only some people expect gods not to be Like That," but then you got upset with me anyway.

Nearest I can figure about why, and I might still have this wrong, is "if WE say He's Like That we're just all commiserating, but if YOU say it you might be calling us dumb for liking Him anyway."

So then if it’s a thing that’s going to be very difficult to talk about from shared frames period, and you’re still somewhat operating from the culturally Christian assumptions, and there’s the persecution buttons/experiences, and a lot of “PSA” style posts just kind of assume that you can pick up enough context and identify what I guess functions as subtle hyperbole so it seems I’m not supposed to take them as literally as they’re often written?? …recipe for frustration all around.

Yeah. I hope it's clear here why I THOUGHT I got it, though.

6 notes · View notes

0606-hyuck · 3 years

Text

Word Count: 1.7K

"Hey!" You greeted as Jisung slowly approached the bench you were resting on with Saja's head in your lap.

"Hi," smiled Jisung. He was nervous, and he knew you probably knew he was nervous too, but he tried his best to act friendly and confident. It was a good thing you hadn't witnessed the slight mental breakdown he'd had before leaving his apartment. It had taken Renjun, Jeno, and Jaemin giving him a pep-talk to boost his confidence while Chenle simply laughed before he felt calm enough to come down and meet you.

"So, I hear you're a bit of a dog connoisseur," you grinned, standing from the bench and leading Saja over to where Jisung was standing.

"I definitely wouldn't say that," Jisung spluttered, mentally cursing Jaemin and Chenle. He bent down and smoothed down the fur between Saja's ears, causing your dog to inch closer to him.

"Aw, no need to be humble," you laughed, mistaking Jisung's reservation as modesty. "As you can see, I'm not made of muscle." Jisung's gaze followed your hand as it trailed down your form. He found himself staring for a few seconds too long, and he turned red with embarrassment when he realised he had just - unintentionally - checked you out.

Unaware of Jisung's mental distress, you continued, "since I'm not super strong, and Saja is quite big for his age and breed, he thinks it's fun to drag me along when we go out walking."

You grabbed your dog's lead and walked him a few paces away from Jisung and turned back around. "I'll demonstrate." You clicked your tongue and Saja started walking forward, initially matching your pace but soon he was tugging on the leash and pulling you along eagerly. You walked past Jisung and stopped a few metres away before facing your neighbour again. "You see what I mean?"

Jisung hummed in response. He could understand why you wouldn't want to be pulled along by your dog, especially in a city full of yappy smaller dogs that could excite Saja. Still feeling uncomfortable that his roommates had lied to you, but feeling too awkward to tell you the truth, Jisung's brain was working overtime to try and work out how he could help you.

"Could I try walk him?"

You handed the leash to Jisung and he did what you had done previously, and walked Saja up and down the pavement a couple of times, finding that he also had the same problem with your dog that you did.

"Well I guess he likes to pull no matter who is walking him," Jisung concluded, and although he was sure you had already reached the same conclusion, he couldn't help but smile slightly as you nodded sagely at his words.

"So how have you been trying to train him?"

"I've mostly been walking him back and forth along the path and pulling him up when he tugs, which has meant I'm stopping pretty much every step and not getting very far," you sighed.

As the cogs ticked away in Jisung's brain, an idea lightbulb went off in his head. "Why don't we try shortening his leash and walking a longer distance rather than stopping all the time?" Okay, admittedly it wasn't a bright lightbulb, but it was alight at least.

This suggestion seemed to make a lot of sense to you, and you eagerly agreed. Wrapping a section of Saja's leash around your wrist, he was now walking beside you rather than in front of you, and Jisung walked on your left side, closest to the road. What a gentleman, you thought.

After awhile, the silence that had fallen between you and Jisung became a little awkward. From the corner of your eye you noticed he was fidgeting with his fingers, and was constantly resting his hands in his pockets only to remove them a few moments later, and then repeat the process. Because Jisung was spending his precious time with you training your dog rather than doing whatever he wanted to do, you thought it was only right that you helped make him feel comfortable in your presence.

"So, you do dance," you stated, looking across at Jisung and offering him a sweet smile when your gazes met. "How long have you been doing that for?"

"Um, I've been dancing since I was really young," he replied. "Ever since I can remember I've enjoyed it."

"What kind of dance do you like the best?" Peering at his lanky limbs you snorted, "you don't exactly strike me as a ballerina."

Jisung chuckled at your comment, and you noticed his hands had remained by his sides and he wasn't fidgeting with them any more. "I actually have a video that my mum took when I was seven, maybe eight, and I took a contemporary dance class. So, not exactly ballet but they still had us jumping all over the place and swinging our arms around."

Jisung smiled and his eyes glazed over as he replayed the video in his head. You watched in amusement as he subtly spun his arms around him, and you found that you were no longer even focused on training Saja to walk beside you anymore, and neither was Jisung.

"Contemporary dance wasn't for me, I enjoy hip-hop and popping and locking more. That's the kind of stuff I teach the kids." Jisung didn't seem to notice as the three of you approached the riverside, meaning you had walked quite a few blocks from your house already.

"Actually, you mentioned that I don't look like a ballet dancer, but that's the really cool thing about dancing. You don't need to have a certain body type to be good at dancing. Obviously there's exceptions but for the most part, there's no rules to dance. Dance is just expressing emotions through your body, and so anyone who has a body can dance."

You listened intently as Jisung told a story about a child from his dance class who was told she wouldn't be good at hip hop because she was "too big" and so Jisung had to help her gain the confidence to put herself out there and she realised she really enjoyed dance, and was damn good at it too. He told stories of his other students too, ones about his favourite moments teaching and ones that he found challenging but was able to overcome, and when you checked your watch you realised he had been talking for a good half hour, and you'd wandered pretty far from your apartment.

"Oh my god, I've talked too much," Jisung gasped, halting his step. You glimpsed a horrified look on his face before he placed a hand over his mouth and mumbled, "I was supposed to train your dog and instead I just talked the whole time."

Stopping, you giggled quietly before approaching your neighbour. Placing a warm hand on his wrist, you stated, "honestly Jisung, don't worry about it."

"I didn't even ask you anything about yourself," Jisung mumbled, although his sight was firmly locked on the place where your hand touched his arm.

Blushing slightly at his fixation with your touch, you swiftly removed your hand. "Seriously, I don't mind that you talked the whole time. It was really nice to hear you talk about something you're passionate about." Gulping slightly, you added, "plus, when you were talking about the kids you teach, you had this really fond look in your eye and you started getting excited and smiling heaps. It was...cute."

For the first time since you'd stopped, Jisung looked up and made eye contact with you, his eyes as wide as dinner plates. You could almost picture the steam coming out of his ears as his brain malfunctioned trying to process your words. You'd just told your extremely cute neighbour that you found him extremely cute. Uh oh.

Before Jisung could stutter out a reply, you saved him from his misery by turning your focus to the shiba inu between you. Saja looked up at you amusedly and you imagined that if he was a human he would be shouting at you, 'the yearning! Just kiss the poor boy already!!'

"So, um, I guess we should head back now, Saja is probably really thirsty."

"Yeah, that, uh, sounds good."

With that, you and Jisung headed back to your apartment in a painful silence. Oh lord, why did I call him cute! I mean, he is, but now everything is awkward! You thought.

Meanwhile, Jisung was already rehearsing what he'd say to his four friends. Surely they would know what Y/N calling him cute meant. They understood girls better than he did. She called me cute, Jisung thought. Does this mean I'm supposed to kiss her now? No, you dummy! Don't call me a dummy! I'm just panicking because a girl has never called me cute before and I don't know what I'm supposed to do! He mentally argued with himself.

After a painfully long time, you finally ended up in the elevator on the way to the sixth floor. For the first time since you'd started heading back, you decided to speak. "Thanks for helping me with Saja before."

"Oh, I don't think I really did anything," Jisung laughed nervously, avoiding eye contact. A few seconds passed, and he steeled himself to ask what he had wanted to ask since you'd called him cute. "Um, I was wondering if I could maybe have your number?"

When you accidentally raised a quizzical eyebrow at Jisung's bold words, he rushed to add, "only so you can text me when you're walking Saja, and I can come down and try to train him again!"

"No no, that sounds like a good idea. Here," you said, pulling out your phone and swapping it with Jisung. When he registered that you'd swapped numbers with him, for the first time in a while he seemed to finally relax. The elevator dinged on your floor and it was a short walk back to your respective apartments.

"Hey, thanks again Jisung," you smiled, gripping the handle of your door but not twisting it. "I really meant what I said before, it was cool getting to know you better."

"Oh yeah, me too," Jisung replied genuinely. "It was...peaceful."

He watched you smile once last time before you entered your house and closed the door behind you. Sighing loudly, he rested his head against his own door with a loud thud before walking into his home, where he knew his roommates would be eagerly awaiting a minute by minute breakdown of what happened.

Puppy Love [part seven]

Description: When you move into a new apartment, you’re pleasantly surprised to find out your neighbours are all attractive. Really attractive. You find yourself developing a crush on one of your said neighbours when he offers to help you train your dog, Saja, but you quickly realise he has absolutely no idea what he’s doing...

Taglist: @whosyourmama @chubbsdabunny @peachhyun @jising-jisang-jisung @bangpink123

#nct #nct dream #nct2020 #nct social media au #nct dream social media #nct dream au #nct jisung #jisung nct #jisung #park jisung #jisung imagine #jisung scenario #jisung x reader #renjun #jeno #chenle #jaemin

33 notes · View notes