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tackytigerfic · 10 months

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Fledgling

Some scrap words I won't be using for another fic, repurposed for the @drarrymicrofic prompt Hatch. Anyway, this is another dads Drarry piece (i know i know). Newborn Albus and newborn Scorpius, tired fathers, both recently separated. Harry struggling a bit with life as a parent. No major warnings that I can think of but do please let me know if there's anything. Unbetaed

ETA: actually re CW there is mention of an unwanted/unexpected pregnancy. Pls do proceed with caution if that's a tricky topic as I don't delve into it with the nuance it deserves. As to my stance, i am firmly pro-choice and it's not the sort of topic i usually take lightly.

Harry hadn’t thought the sling thing through before he left the house, and now his whole back is aching and he keeps whacking people with the unwieldy changing bag that won’t stop slipping off his shoulder. Albus is weeping noisily, one side of his tiny face pressed against Harry’s t-shirt, his new-blue eyes shutting and opening in bewildered exhaustion. Looking down into the sling, Harry can only see the fluffy top of his head, the fuzz of eyelashes, the slack weight of his plump cheek, but he can feel the tear-wettened patch of fabric spreading. They're both exhausted, the heat of summer making Harry's back prickle with sweat under the straps of the sling.

Harry's at the farmers market off Diagon, trying to buy vegetables. He doesn’t actually want to eat a vegetable, or indeed anything that involves chopping or cooking or making any sort of effort at all. In fact, what Harry wants is to go home and lie alone, in total silence, on the sofa in the back parlour, where the air is always cooler, and drink a very cold beer, and eat nothing but Monster Munch and Dairy Milk for dinner.

However Harry has to buy, cook, and eat vegetables, not just because he has to set a good example for his children, but also because if he dies of scurvy then he’ll be no better than his parents were, having a kid they were too young for, then going off and getting themselves killed. Though at least Harry's boys would have the Weasleys, which means they’d be loved at least, which is more than Harry was, and now his eyes are prickling with self-pity and guilt, and Albus is crying so hard he’s hiccuping, and god, Harry needs some sleep. But he won’t get any, because Molly can only keep James for another twenty minutes, and Harry has to get his grocery shopping done, and then it’ll be bathtime and bedtime and another broken night, and so the cycle continues, a relentless loop that might feel like a time-turner is involved except that Harry somehow manages to find brand new things to feel absolutely grim about every single day.

He sighs, pokes at a flabby-looking aubergine, then remembers how much work he’d have to do to make it taste good and just grabs some carrots instead. His hands are already full, the changing bag swinging and banging against his hip. Albus’s little legs are squirming in rage now, his whole body in muscular rolling motion against Harry’s chest.

“Please, baby,” he whispers, kissing the damp little head. “Please just calm down.”

He reaches for a butternut squash, and the bag swings forward and drops into the crook of his elbow, hitting the vegetable stall. Somewhere below him, a point he can’t actually see over the lump of screaming baby, he hears the hollow thumping noise of something falling and hitting the ground. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees a cabbage trundling onto the footpath, then another and another. The man who works at the vegetable stall gets his wand out and starts Accio-ing the fallen cabbages, giving Harry an unimpressed look which he extends to the baby in the sling. Harry feels suddenly enraged, and he drops the carrots so he can bring his hand up in front of them, a protective shield against the horrible man’s disapproval, and now the other shoppers are staring too, a woman with a bored-looking teenager giving Harry’s strewn carrots a pointed look as she bends to pick them up off the ground.

Harry can’t bear it anymore, hating himself, hating the people shopping like their worlds haven’t come to a standstill like his has, hating the great fucking changing bag and the carrots and even, for one awful shameful moment, the crying baby, and he moves further down the street to where there’s a break in the stalls, a mercifully unoccupied bench, and a busker playing some sort of multi-horned instrument that is making enough noise to drown out Albus’s wailing. He sits, carefully, so Albus is higher on his chest with one plump cheek against Harry’s fast-beating heart, and closes his eyes.

“Here,” a voice says, and Harry opens his eyes to see a plume of green feathery leaves, a hand clutching… is it the bunch of carrots? And then he looks up, beyond weary now, and it’s Malfoy there, because of course it is. “I saw you dropped these.”

Malfoy sits down uninvited, just sags down onto the bench next to Harry and lets the bunch of carrots fall on the seat between them. Harry hasn’t seen much of him since school, though he knew Malfoy had got married, and he’d definitely seen something in the papers when the baby was born. He looks awful, Harry thinks, too pale even for him, with sickly blueish shadows under his eyes. His hair is long, curling round his ears, slightly damp at the temples from the heat. He’s wearing a shirt that has some sort of greyish white stain all down the front, and the points of his collar are soft and floppy in the heat, like a puppy’s ears.

“Please, make yourself comfortable,” Harry says.

“I just want some rest,” Malfoy says, and he stretches his legs out in front of him and tips his face up towards the sun, closing his eyes. His throat is one long bared line, and in the crisp afternoon light Harry can see the fine glint of stubble all along his jaw where he clearly hasn’t shaved in a while.

“This doesn’t quite seem like the right place for resting,” Harry says. “This one won’t shut up, for one.” He looks down at Albus, his throat tight, then back at Malfoy. “Sorry. For the noise, I mean. I’ve tried everything and he just won’t stop.”

“Oh.” Malfoy waves his hand vaguely in Harry’s direction, eyes still closed. “I can’t even hear him, really. It’s practically a holiday for me, hearing a baby crying that isn’t my own. Not my problem, for once. No, this one here is the reason I need a rest.” He opens his eyes as though it costs him effort, and jerks his head to the side. There’s a pram parked there, the old-fashioned silver chassis winking in the sun, gleaming hood drawn up to shade the baby inside. Harry can barely see through a haze of brightly coloured sun protection charms, anti-hex shields, and elaborate cushioning charms. The pram looks like something Harry had seen in old photos Petunia had, like a relic of some half-forgotten time, but Malfoy puts a hand out almost proudly and rests it on the handle, rocking the pram back and forth slightly.

“He’ll only sleep if the pram is moving,” he says, sounding grim. “And I’ve only just got him to doze off. If he wakes up now, I don’t think I’ll be able to bear it.” He looks at Harry, eyes wide, and places a hand to his mouth as though he wants to snatch the words back.

“Give us a proper look, then,” Harry says, and Malfoy gently lifts the shielding charms for a moment as Harry leans over a little to peer over the edge of the pram to see the baby. He's small and pink and not at all pointy, just a soft squidgy-looking bundle under a light summer muslin, with an almost invisible sheen of hair the same silver as Malfoy’s on his little head.

“That’s Scorpius,” Malfoy says, and he’s grinning a little, gazing distractedly into the pram as though he can’t quite help himself. Harry feels abruptly and surprisingly fond towards him. He’s seen that expression on his own face in countless photos of him with the boys.

“He’s cute. Interesting name.”

Malfoy goes pink, which makes him look a bit more like his old self, Harry thinks.

“It’s a family tradition,” Malfoy says stiffly. “And I happen to like it. And anyway, you can’t exactly talk, naming your child Albus.”

“Hey, no,” Harry says. “I wasn’t being— I mean, sorry if I sounded sarcastic or something. I really do like it. There were three Harrys in my form, at my old school before Hogwarts. I would have loved something different. I always wanted a cool name like Rocket or… Trent or… McGuyver, or something. I’d have loved to be called Scorpius.”

“You’re making it worse,” Malfoy says, though his lips are twitching. “Trent? Honestly, Potter.”

Then, as if compelled by curiosity, he leans over towards Harry and gently eases down the side of the sling so that he can look in at Albus from the side. Harry wonders what the baby must look like, in this heat, having been crying for so long, but Malfoy’s eyes soften and he smiles into the sling like he’s forgotten Harry’s even there, and Harry feels that irrational glow of pride he gets whenever anyone admires his babies. He’s mine, he wants to say. I made him.

Albus, as though sensing he’s being looked at, takes in a huge gulp of air with a sweet little wheezing sound and then, miracle of miracle, falls silent.

Harry and Malfoy look at each other over the baby’s head.

“Oh my god,” Harry mouths, and Malfoy mouths back at him, pointing into the sling, “He’s asleep!”

Harry isn’t sure how long they sit there. He thinks he might doze off for a while, though he can’t be sure. When he opens his eyes, Malfoy is still there beside him, resting his head on the back of the bench, pushing the pram wheel idly with one foot so that the whole thing rocks gently back and forward. He must sense Harry moving, because he yawns hugely and then blinks at Harry, or maybe into the sun, which is now setting behind Harry. At some point, the street musician must have moved on, because everything has the quiet, winding-down hum of early evening.

“This idea might be utterly mad,” Malfoy observes in a whisper, since both babies are, miraculously, still asleep. “I don’t know, since I’m so sleep-deprived I think my sense of reason has been affected. But would you possibly like to do this again sometime?”

“What, present each other with root vegetables and then fall asleep next to each other on a public bench?” Harry asks, amused. “No one could ever say we don’t know how to have a good time, I suppose.”

“Are you lonely?” Malfoy asks abruptly. “You seem lonely. Is that okay to say? I was watching you, you know, trying to buy your vegetables, and you looked about as miserable as I feel, and guess what? I was glad. That’s why I came to talk to you. I don’t think I’d have got the courage up if you’d been just standing there in the sunshine all golden and dewy and— and healthy looking—” He waves a hand dismissively in Harry’s general direction, the gesture somehow taking in every exhausted cell of Harry’s body. "Which, by the way, you do. Which is bloody unfair. But you also looked absolutely bloody livid and like you were about to cry.”

“I was,” Harry admits, because if Malfoy is oversharing, he might as well too.

“And I was glad,” Malfoy finishes, with a vicious satisfaction, and sits back. “I would have assumed you’d be really good at this, like you are at everything. No, no, I don’t mean you’re not a good father, Potter, anyone can see you’re hopelessly devoted to your offspring. I just meant, you looked like you were struggling. That you weren’t enjoying yourself. It was… refreshing. Reassuring, in a way. Like I’m not the only one who’s not a natural at this.”

“Albus was an accident,” Harry blurts out, covering the baby's ears carefully with his hands, though he's so deep in sleep he doesn't even stir. “Ginny and I were already separated. She had taken the job in Wales. She didn’t even realise she was pregnant for months, because she was training so hard she thought that’s why she felt tired all the time. And when she told me, I was so happy. She was crying and crying, she hates crying, I don’t know if you know that about her, probably not. But she just couldn’t stop, these big tears sliding down her cheeks. She was completely in shock, and I didn’t care at all. I wanted him, so badly, straight away. I could barely believe I got to have him. It felt like everything I had ever wanted, and that was all that mattered to me at that moment. And now he’s here and it’s like I’m being punished for it. It’s so hard, Malfoy. I’m on my own most of the time. Ginny was meant to have them at weekends, but she’s so busy and I don’t really want them going all the way to Wales without me just yet. And Ginny can’t fly after a week of broken nights, it would be too dangerous. So it’s just me, most of the time, and I’m so bloody lonely. Some nights when I’m up with one of the boys I just stand at the window and look out, just to see if I can find another house with a light on, so I feel like I’m not the only person in the world.”

“Wow,” Malfoy says. “That is a lot to be carrying around with you. Emotionally speaking, I mean, though it looks as though you’re overburdened physically too.” He eyes the changing bag with distaste. “Honestly Potter, are you a wizard or not?” He swings a hand over the bag, and Harry sees the tip of his wand sliding into his hand before Malfoy does a complicated little shivery wand movement over the bag. Then he sets his wand tip to the shoulder strap of Harry’s sling and performs a mild sticking charm, giving the sleeping lump of Albus a little pat before he sits back again. “There, that should hold until you get home.”

“Home…” Harry feels a familiar lurch in his stomach, the knowledge that he has forgotten something crucial but can’t quite put a finger on it. “Oh my god, Malfoy. I was meant to be at the Burrow to collect James at five o’ clock. What time is it? No, don’t tell me, I don’t want to know. If I’ve made Molly miss her Witches’ Institute meeting she will hex me sideways.”

Harry stands, Albus wriggling and grumbling at the sudden movement and then subsiding back into sleep. The sling feels secure, more comfortable around the tired muscles of Harry’s shoulders. He grabs for the changing bag, which he lifts easily with one hand, the dead weight of it now lightened.

“Wow, Malfoy. What was that charm you used on the bag? It’s actually manageable now.”

“It’s a variation on the Feather-Light charm. Same principle and same incantation but a slightly different wand movement. Makes the results a bit more stable.”

“Nice.” Harry slides the strap of the bag onto his arm. “You’ll have to show me. Next time?”

“Next time,” Malfoy said, then grins, a sudden and charming smile that shows his nice teeth and makes him look younger and somehow softer. He has a dimple, Harry notices, tucked right into the dip next to his lip, easy to miss unless you’re really looking.

“Great, I’ll owl you. And Malfoy— Thanks. For the bag, and listening to me, and… well, everything.”

“And for the carrots.” Malfoy picks up the bunch with a flourish, the delicate green fronds quivering at the movement as he hands them to Harry. “You mustn’t forget those.”

“Well, I think I’m going to get a takeaway,” Harry confesses. “But I shall make sure to put these carefully into the salad drawer of the fridge so that they can moulder away gently there for a few weeks.”

“As is right and proper,” Malfoy replies, very seriously, then the slight quiver of his lips turns to a grimace as a squawk arises from the pram.

“Once more unto the breach,” he says, already moving towards the pram, reaching in to where the blanket is rippling from tiny kicking legs. “I’ll see you soon, Potter.”

“Good luck,” Harry says, tempted to pat him on the back or shake his hand, but catching himself at the last minute and realising how odd it would be to just start touching Malfoy all of a sudden.

He sets off for the Leaky, hoping that that queue for the Floo won’t be too long. At his chest, Albus sleeps on, and Harry feels the tension leave his shoulders, somehow unburdened.

#Not to start going on and on about craft #but it's incredible how much i've learned about writing in the few years since I started creating fics #i feel much more in control of my process #and also find it easier to work and rework a piece #it's been so useful since i started writing original work #good for patches of writer's block too #as i can go back to older pieces and see how I can tweak and mould them into something closer to what i want them to be.#i mean it's a constant learning process right?#but it does feel like i *am* learning #which is very fun #anyway #drarry #drarry microfic #rowing and writing

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ashes-in-a-jar · 1 month

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#okay im sorry im salty about that qna that came out for Malevolent season recap #because harlan my dear it does not become you to make your fans seem like idiots #why make your fans feel bad for having what you call 'the wrong interpretation'#i get you're attached to your work and want it to be perceived as youve pictured it #but honey #its out in public now. the public shall do what it pleases with it #dont make them feel bad #this is why i unfollowed him and am no longer in the discord #he is too word of god-y and too smug and condescending about it #negative #sorry followers for this rant. i love Malevolent. but by god if harlan will not eventually learn how to deal with his fandoms the hard way

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bonefall · 5 months

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post/734733274896809984/do-you-ever-worry-your-own-writing-might-come-off that makes sense. i was asking because i'm afraid of accidentally writing misogyny myself and i kind of admire what you do

Hmm... I wish I had better advice to give you on this front, but honestly, the only thing I can tell you is to consider the perspective of your female characters.

Women are people. They have thoughts and feelings of their own, so like... just let them have their own arcs. A lot of the worst misogyny in WC comes from the way that the writers just don't care about their girls (or, in the case of tall shadow, actually get undermined and forced to rewrite entire chapters), so they're not curious about their lives, or WHY they feel the way they do or what they want, or any direction for their character arcs.

Turtle Tail as an example. She'll often just end up feeling whatever Gray Wing's plot demands. She's gotta leave when Storm dumps him to make him feel lonely. She shows up again to love him in the next book. Lets her best friend Bumble get dragged back to Tom the Wifebeater, but is sad enough about her death to be "unreasonably angry" with Clear Sky, and then calms down and accept Gray Wing is right all along.

And then she dies, so he can have his very own fridge wife.

In this way, Turtle Tail's just being used to tell Gray Wing's story. They're not interested in why she would turn on Bumble, or god forbid any lingering negative feelings for how she didn't help her, or even resentment towards Clear Sky for killing her or Gray Wing for jumping to his defense. She isn't really going through her own character arc.

She does have personality traits of her own, don't misunderstand my criticism, but as a character she revolves around Gray Wing.

So, zoom out every now and then, and just ask yourself; "Whose story is being told by what I wrote? Do my female characters have goals, wants, and agency, or are they just supporting men? How do their choices impact the narrative?"

But that's already kinda assuming that you already have characters like Turtle Tail who DO have personalities and potential of their own. Here's some super simple and practical advice that helped me;

Tally the genders in your cast. How many are boys, how many are girls, how many are others?

And take stock of how many of those characters are just in the supporting cast, and compare that to the amount you have in the main cast.

If you have a significant imbalance, ESPECIALLY in the main cast, fire the Woman Beam.

It's a really simple trick to just write a male character, and then change its gender while keeping it the same. I promise women are really not fundamentally different from men lmao. You can consider how your in-universe gender roles affect them later, if you'd like, but when you're just starting to wean yourself off a "boy bias" this trick works like a charm.

Also you're not allowed to change the body type of any girl you Woman Beam because I said so. PLEASE allow your girls to have muscles, or be fat, or be old, or have lots of scars. Do NOT do what a cowardly Triple A studio does, where the women all have the same cute or sexy face and curvy body while they're standing next to dwarves, robots, and a gorilla.

Or this shit,

If you do this I will GET you. If you're ever possessed by the dark urge, you will see my face appear in the clouds like Mufasa himself to guide you away from the path of evil.

Anyway, you get better at just making characters girls to begin with as time goes on and you practice it. It's really not as big of a deal as your brain might think it is.

Take a legitimate interest in female characters and try not to disproportionately hit them with parental/romance plots as opposed to the male cast, and you'll be fine. Don't think of them as "SPECIAL WOMEN CHARACTERS" just make a character and then let her be a girl, occasionally checking your tally and doing some critical thinking about their use in the story.

(Also remember I'm not a professional or anything, I'm just trying to give advice)

#I wish I had more succinct and practical advice to give you besides the woman beam trick #Honestly I just kinda feel it out because I like telling stories about girls #I made it fun for myself by clapping and cheering and whooping and hollering whenever a girl does something #because it's not fun to write like a monk in a monastery #With the spectre of Brother Smockbimble looming over your shoulder telling you to Write Perfectly Every Time #Characters aren't real people. You can just fix it if you happen to fuck up or do better next time with what you learned.#Making mistakes is just part of acquiring skill #and writing is an art just like painting or drawing.#So don't make a fun OC project into homework! You should be enjoying making your own art! Express yourself!#Please understand that when I'm ripping into the series I'm being so harsh because it's bestselling corporate media #Read by HUNDREDS of thousands of kids worldwide #Raking in millions of dollars a year. Written by a TEAM of professionals.#So I have higher expectations of it than of a fandom rando on the internet. Or even a self-published author who's just One Guy.#Hence why I'm infinitely more charitable to Ratha than I am to Battle Cats #bones gives advice

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sciderman · 1 day

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(Idk if someone asked this already) since we’re on the topic of gender

sci what is gender to you and how do you see it in you and how you express it in your art?? (Just a young queer artist who wants some light shined upon them 🥺)

i 'unno ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#gender is soup #sci speaks #i'm so sorry i know you might hope for something profound but... i think when i'm put on the spot like this i can't say anything really #i think whatever i am is definitely pervasive in everything i write #but like.. gender means something different to wade than it does for peter.#just like it'll be different for everybody. we make different associations based on our experiences and our trauma.#like.. wade associates femininity with love. because of his mother. associates masculinity with violence. because of his father.#peter associates masculinity with responsibility. because of uncle ben. associates femininity with confidence. because of aunt may.#i think there's all kinds of reasons why we choose to present the way we do. and what gender means to us.#just like we'll associate a colour with something. or a smell with a memory. it's complicated.#i don't think i'm some kind of expert on gender things but... i just find it interesting to explore. the psychology of it.#i don't think it's supernatural. it doesn't come from nowhere. but it should be a playground.#i don't think anyone in this world should be restricted to a certain role to play. i want to try all the roles and see how it fits.#see how well i can play them.#maybe because i haven't found one that quite fits. so i want the opportunity to try whatever i can. see what feels right.#i think it would be fun to be a wife. i think it would be fun to be a husband. i think it would be fun to be a firefighter. i think it wo #shrugs. different outfits for every day. different roles to play.#today i'd like to try...#i think it's like kids learning how to be adults by playing pretend. by playing roles.#i'm learning more about myself and other people and fitting into the world by trying on different roles.#kids playing house. you be the mom. i'll be the dad. yadda yadda.#i still feel like a bit of a kid who hasn't figured out how to be an adult yet. so i'm still trying out roles to see what fits.

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avisisisis · 13 days

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i cannot stop thinking about anissa and marky though [COMIC SPOILERS]

how did he react when he learned what his mother did? just like mark, he lived a lie. he thought his mother was kind and nice — the only thing that is true is that she loved him, but now, he has no idea if he should believe it

and. you've grown up being conditioned to believe that violence is peace, and that kindness is a lie and a weakness. you hurt people. by hurting a person, by destroying him irreparably, you found the boy you love most: your son. and you don't regret it. you hope one day, once he sees him, he'll get it. but you still don't regret it. you can't say you're sorry

marky will grow up without his biological father, because when mark hugs him he can only remember his mother and what she did to him. your father can't love you the way your mom did. you can't love your mother the way your father loved his

the worst part is, that it she hadn't done it, you wouldn't have existed. you wouldn't be here. your father will grow to love you. you will grow to accept each other. but you tend to wonder — if he never sees you as anything else other than your mother's son, then who will you have when everyone else you know dies?

#i hate anissa but also her character was done so well #like i hate her #fuck her #but jesus christ.#wow #i feel so bad for marky honestly #when anissa said “i don't regret it. tell him. tell him he'll understand when he sees him”#that shit hurt me #that was the WORST time for you to die girl #i was like “idc about anissa thank fuck she died” but then #i put myself in marky's place. and WOWWW #you gotta be strong to deam with that #YOU GOTTA BE STRONG TO BE ANY INVINCIBLE TBH #LIKE WOW.#thinking about mark now #imagine learning that the person who hurt you the most is a better person now #and that means she regrets kt #but then you learn right after her death that she does not regret it at all #you don't even get to hear an “i'm sorry”. not that you'd have listened to it #then you learn she had a son. with you. named AFTER YOU #honestly i can't blame him for allowing things to be THAT awkward w marky #i am so glad the reconciled tho I don't think I'd be able to live if mark's son hated him #tw sa mention #invincible #invincible comic #comic spoilers #marky grayson #anissa invincible #mark grayson #b4 anyone gets this wrong: I DO NOT SUPPORT WHAT ANISSA DID. it's just that marky's relationship w her is smth i would love to see explored

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crescentfool · 1 year

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his love for cats is very endearing to me 🥺💛

#persona 4 #souji seta #yu narukami #lizzy does art #i am a simple person with simple needs: draw souji with cat #wanting to practice coloring again because i feel like it's been awhile!!! theres much to be learned but i had fun with this...#unrelated 2 the art but i might finally have time to play the p3p and p4g ports again!! splat 3 b kinda slow rn (ive done everything i-#wanted to do for the season for the most part) so... maybe i will get to doodle fun shit based on my playthroughs. maybe!

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just-rainbow-thoughts · 2 months

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Something something similar yet different idk I’ve never been good at comics or captions

#very much enjoy that face on the bottom #i am the op #jus sum doodly doos #pizza tower #peppino spaghetti #fake peppino #you judge his habits he judges yours #also if your clone is weird where do you think they got it from?#you can’t tell me peppino’s a totally normal guy #probably does shit like ice cream hand just to feel something (diy frostbite👍)#probably lived alone for so long he forgot how to normal #it’s okay I never learned how to normal #strange man and the only brother he actually cares about who’s even stranger than him #also I do have something made for the noise update I just wanna wait til it’s less of a spoiler

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tj-crochets · 6 days

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Hey y'all, weird question time again! I'm pretty sure I know the answer to this one, but asking anyway: If you are having severe muscle cramps/knots/tension all over your body and go to a doctor/urgent care/hospital for them, assuming the doctor believes it's something that needs treatment, the only things they can give you are anti-inflammatories, pain relief, muscle relaxers, or like an IV to rehydrate you if it turns out to be caused by dehydration, right? I know those are three very broad categories of treatment, I'm not asking for specifics within those categories, just if there are options outside of them (I am allergic to NSAIDs, already on corticosteroids for unrelated reasons, probably shouldn't have muscle relaxers or stronger pain meds for "my blood pressure looks for any excuse to crash" reasons, and am staying on top of hydration and electrolytes, but this round of muscle cramps is bad, even for me)

#the person behind the yarn #injury mention #sort of???? it could just be that I Electrolyte Very Wrong #I think this is because I slept on my stomach (which I never do) and my muscles rebelled #and my body Does Not Handle That Well #but it could be because I stopped taking B12 a few days ago #but my B12 levels are very high! I shouldn't be getting muscle issues from stopping taking it #because I have enough B12!#I really want to be massaging the muscles #but I have learned from the last time this happened #and I can't massage my neck anymore because I am approaching the point where it's been overmassaged #to the point where touching the muscle makes it spasm badly #so. avoiding that this time #but you know that feeling in your face when you clench your jaw really hard and your muscles are very tense because of it?#like actively clenching your jaw muscle feeling #the left side of my face feels like that when I am not doing anything right now #unpleasant! to be avoided!#not even to speak of the smooth muscle cramps! avoid those too if you can

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year

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hold on i need to get a thought and emotions out. so with Welcome Home, there seems to be a before and an after. obviously, we're in the after. the website is the after. and if it turns out that the story we see, the one where shit hits the fan and the show is practically erased, then... that already happened. whatever horrors we see, we'll know that there is no saving them. there is no happy ending - it happened, and it's tragic. the show is doomed to end and be scrubbed away. if any of the characters are revealed to be dead/gone by the website, then when/if we see them at an earlier point, we'll Know

and there's a special kind of dread and horror in that for us, the audience.

#im not articulating this the way i want to...#it's like going to see a tragic play. like romeo and juliet for instance.#we go into it knowing the end. they die. no matter what they die. every step they take leads to That End #every happy moment is undercut by the knowledge that it won't last #thinking about this makes me think that at some point learning more about the story/characters is gonna feel like digging up a grave #AGH I LOVE IT THOUGH I LOVE IT. IT HURTS SO MUCH BUT I LOVE IT #its a special feeling of dread/nostalgia/bittersweetness/resignation #and that is sensation in the chest that doesnt feel good but it also does somehow? it hurts but just enough to not be unbearable?#welcome home #welcome home speculation #welcome home puppet show #man i am so so so so scared for the puppets lmfao #i have some theories on the ways shit might go down. like little things. souring relationships and such #i also have a feeling that the story is really gonna hit home (ha) for me in Big Ways #like as soon as i saw clown say that it's kinda about 'when does a home become a house' and stuff #OOF. YIKES. WHEN DOES IT INDEED. i mean i know. ive lived it. im Living it.#this is gonna get unintentionally personal Real Fast in Several Fun And Festive Ways for me huh #i wonder if the story is gonna be uncovered linearly or not...#chewing on it chewing on it chewing on it #i can't wait to Understand the world/characters so that i can write fanfic. i want to so badly. i want to Explore #i want to hop into that grave and keep digging

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rainymoodlet · 1 year

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Or, how an otherwise incredibly private man came out to the world because when I play-tested his first challenge he physically refused to flirt with women.

Kiss Me in Komorebi 🌹 New Save+

Below you'll find an explanation of why I'm starting this Challenge from the ground up, an apology for my former applicants, and the form to follow for your submissions! Thank you for indulging me for so long in my obsession with this blorbo of mine.

Why the plus? Because otomes will smack lil' plus signs on updated versions of their dating games, and I'm a dork.

Deadline for applications is April 1st! 🌸

Let's be real - I bit off a little more than I could chew the first time around! This new version of KMIK will feature gameplay-heavy storytelling with posed scenes in-between!

I want to make it up to the applicants who waited so long to see this Bachelor Challenge come to fruition, and I genuinely want Daniel to have a fair shot at meeting someone truly meant for him - so I'm opening twenty one slots: seven for my former Contestants (two of which are taken by Daithi Calloway and Josiah Bolton), seven for my former Outsiders, and seven slots for new sims! Of course, the final number will be decided by the number of slots filled!

These three houses will rotate group dates and challenges with Daniel as he whittles down the numbers. In-universe, Dan hates the spotlight of fame, and was an incredibly private man (bar his new cult following on SimTok) before being influenced to be the star of his own Bachelor Challenge by his (well-meaning) agent and siblings. He went into this in the hopes that the contracted work would mean he'd not have to worry about his mother's health bills or his nieces and nephews' college funds for a little while.

However, when he got actual applications in, pictures of real sims who had applied just for the chance to meet him, to fall in love with him... well, it gave him a cold shock of reality. After a period of radio silence, the studio released a statement that said Daniel was deeply sorry, but that he wanted to give this a fair shot, and that meant he'd have to be more open and honest about himself than he was ever comfortable being.

🌸 THE APPLICATION 🌸

Name: Age: (lifestage and number, please) Traits: Aspiration: - please feel free to include any fun facts about your sim that you'd like to list! - i'm a dork and i love writing prompts based on the autonomous actions sims choose in-game. developing your sims' skills and likes will help them act more like themselves! - i will be using height sliders when i can, so feel free to include your sim's height! (for posing/gameplay purposes)

Please tag your application with #kmikapp! 🌸

Though I am excited for this clean start, I do want to apologize to all of my former applicants - both for the time it took for me to go through the acceptance process, and the time it took you waiting for me to get back to my desktop... only to learn that the sims you made weren't even going to be used. Believe me, I am no stranger to the loss of a Challenge sim: and I hope that by offering you all an automatic spot in this new save, I can make it up to you a little!

The two existing male contestants (Daithi Calloway by @buglaur and Josiah Bolton by @retro-plasma) will remain in the competition, seeing as they were already written to participate as contestants. But given that I'm forgoing the Outsiders concept for the ease of the Bachelor Challenge format, I thought I would offer all of my Outsider applicants the chance to make contestants! As some of my former participants are inactive, I thought this was the best way to reach out - I am really going to be better about talking one-on-one, though.

ANYWAY, I'm so excited to go on this journey with Daniel, and I can only hope you guys are as eager to see what awaits us as I am! Thank you for reading this far - let's try this again, shall we? 🌹

@hauntedtrait @kawaiishitty @wastelandwhisperer @occultpuppy @gothoffspring @foxsimthings @king-tower @morrigan-sims @akitasimblr @wormsimblr @10000and1dreams

#ts4 #ts4 edit #ts4 bachelor challenge #ts4 screenshots #simblr #ts4 challenge #sim: daniel #;kmik #oh my god okay so when i tell you i am terrified to post this dfhf why does it look like ~ g r a p h i c d e s i g n i s m y p a s s i o n #i am terrified of confrontation so here!!! learn ur sims were for nothin with this fun goofy ahh post #but seriously i am so excited to show you all more of dan #and more of what i can do #and i think following neluun's model of weeding out a crop of sims from a good variety #so that dan can meet who will really compliment him #is just the best plan moving forward #NO it doesnt make SENSE bc technically its seven more SIMS #but lbr i wont get twenty one submissions hddjkdf its just so that #all of my former applicants will have a guaranteed space ;u;#bc i feel HORRENDOUSLY GUILTY :))))#but also... still made a fancy graphic so #dkfklsd okay i will shut up #BLEASE LOVE MY DUMB HIMBO COWBOY #HIM SAD

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jyminie · 1 year

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Just finished the trials of Apollo and I NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT

These books were so different to me because they directly revolved around a topic Rick clearly wanted to touch - abuse. Specifically, familial abuse. Personally I think he’d done it gracefully in a way that really sinks in for me now, but I’m not a victim of abuse and don’t pretend to understand the subject.

Regardless, I think the way Rick wrote Apollo, Lester, was absolute perfection. There’s an art to writing a literal god in first person perspective, and have him be one of the most human characters in the entire franchise.

Lester STRUGGLES. And he’s not perfect at all, he doesn’t even begin to understand everything at the start - not the world, not consequences, not the stakes and not the people around him. But fuck he learns, he learns the hard way, the only way, by doing. And it’s not a linear journey either - between book 1 and his more or less lucid identity in book 5, he goes back and forth between learning, and relapsing to his old ways, and learning again, and trusting and understand and rising victorious in all the confusion. He doesn’t shy away from his emotions - he cries a lot, and gets frustrated, and laughs. He learns to feel for other people. But he also learns to heal himself. And he does it by helping others heal, too.

To me, this red thread tying the books together by a common serious subject, made the reading somehow more whole. I can’t explain it, but Apollo slowly verbalising (well, thinking), realising there are similarities between his relationship with Zeus to Meg’s relationship with Nero, was so satisfying. Although I feel like “satisfying” might be a bit of a harsh word. Mostly I felt proud of him. I /felt/ for him, so very much, for so long. He’s likeable because he’s so human, and that includes both his silly and tragic sides, because these coexist within all of us. And I think he as a character encompassed that beautifully.

Reading that last book, expecting a showdown of sorts between Apollo and his father, and receiving a short conversation, an understanding, instead, was amazing. Because that’s Rick’s way of showing us what’s important. No use trying to fix what we can’t, what isn’t our responsibility to fix, what makes us miserable. Humans have this natural ability to rise from their own disasters and forge out of them their own paths in life. And Apollo did just that. It took him time, but that’s how it goes for all of us. And instead of fighting Zeus, he chose happiness. He chose focusing on what’s important, his old hobbies, his friends.

In a way, I’m bittersweet- I wish he didn’t have to stay at Olympus. I wish he could spend as much time as he’d like on earth. But the thing is, a god is what he /is/. But now, he understands for the first time that he gets to pick what kind of god he should be.

And he chose the human kind.

#I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I FUCKING LOVE HIM #STRAIGHT UP IN MY TOP 3 WITH PERCY AND ANNABETH #this little rant hardly even scratches the surface of the feeling I have #I’ve only just finished reading the tower of Nero #for some reason I put it off for two years but finally here we are #whatever Rick put in this character #it fucking WORKED #the joy this little loser brings me is actually insane #his development is perfect #but again #I don’t mean that just in the “’becoming less of an asshole’ way #he also learns to deal with his own set of traumas #his pain and fear and guilt #and he does that by BEING HUMAN AMONGST HUMANS #which (surprise!) I am too! and so are you!#and it hits because like. he’s there for me #he said it himself #and I think he’s right I can feel it #I love you little buddy #I hope you’re well #the trials of apollo #trials of apollo #apollo #lester papadopoulos #percy jackon and the olympians #the heroes of olympus #pjo apollo #pjo #toa #riordanverse

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