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animation-is-my-jam · 22 days

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Halo heloo!! Popping in to say if you have any more Wordgirl hot takes? I'm new to the fandom and I saw your post about the opinion meme. (Btww my favorite character is Lady Redundant Woman and I ship Tobecky-- I wonder if you also have unpopular opinions on those mostly cause im curious)

Hi!! Thanks for the ask.

Kinda funny that I'm asked fandom/character questions considering my activity and obscurity, but I have been in the Wordgirl space for 7 years and observed it back in the early 2010s.

As for hot takes...hmm, I could give some since I was watching through the series again, and I recently had some discussions with a friend about Wordgirl stuff. (The Disclaimer, aside from one of the takes I have, these aren't that serious, or do I want to come across as confrontational, just my thoughts and opinions):

Scoops is not a jerk. Random, I know, but it's also connected to the idea of Scoops being this secretly selfish boy and why he's the least liked kid character in the fandom next to idk Eileen. Yes, Scoops is a bit of dunce and can often say or do stuff because he gets carried away or his ego--but he wouldn't straight up be malicious. He's a kid. And idk, I think it's pretty funny how oblivious or callouse he can be to others. But no Tobecky fans, Scoops wouldn't just straight up hate or stop being Becky's friend if she either confessed to him or started seeing Tobey. (I agree that he's such a dummy at times and could say the wrong things, but come on, look at Scoops and tell me he would treat his friends terribly.)

Granny May is funny. I know a lot of people don't like her or her episodes because they hate the gaslight or turn on Wordgirl schemes, but idc I think it's hilarious that this 75 year old is beefing with a child and gets away with manipulating people for the 100th time. Plus, I think it's interesting that her episodes could bring out a Becky that makes us question if she's doing good deeds bc it's the right thing or doing them because it gives her purpose and adoration. Either way, I'm like the only Wordgirl fan who is interested in Granny May character lore, and what exactly is her relationship to her own kids and grandkids. And that's cause she makes me laugh.

(Oh boy, serious time) Okay, so this is a very recent observation and discussion I had with a friend who is more educated on this matter over the entire fandom perception of Two-brains|squeaky. And I'm gonna say it on mine and on their behalf... I don't like the usage of squeaky as this ultimate evil or an overt metaphor for the difficult/bad side effects of mental illness. Like, okay, I know this is touchy for people since Two-brains is the favorite--but I don't like the constant fandom aesthetic sticking to making Two-brains the ONLY character with either DID or any number of serious mental conditions just because he fused with the brain of a evil mouse, especially when their depiction of it is worse than Detroit Become Human with racism. At worst, it could be ablelist and ignorant to people with those actual diagnoses. What do I mean by this? Well, it's mostly for people who think that Steven is still inside Two-brains or that Two-brains could be fixed. I'm one of the Steven is gone believers, but regardless--it's kinda ehh to try and make Two-brains represent someone with mental illness or addiction and just say "dw he can be cured if we kill this other part of himself". Even worse than when he does get "fixed," it's only squeaky's influence that encourages his bad behavior and that others would care for him more if only he got rid of the "problem" and went back to being "normal". Like...that's not how a mental illness/condition works. I should know. And this idea kinda makes me uncomfortable because idk, it's like the equivalent of when TOH was still airing and some ppl going: "Why doesn't eda just isolate or destroy the owl beast?" Or the audacity to say that she should have been fully healed at the end when no, she was a good example of the metaphor, and it would completely ruin the purpose. (Plus, I don't get the Jekyll and Hyde comparisons if you try to apply the mental illness metaphor).

As for the other parts of your question. Hmm do i have unpopular ideas/takes of Lrw or Tobecky?

For LRW, um, not really? She's one of my favorite villains, so I'm good, not really any complaints with her or how she's done in fandom tropes. All I know is that fandom actually makes her cooler somehow, and I get mad about that bc shes so awesome/lhj

For Tobecky...yeah I know, another discussion about them, lol, can't help it. But for unpopular ideas/takes...I guess one is that I don't think Wordgirl was completely terrible during the Miss Power scene with him. Like obviously it hurted Tobey's feelings and Wordgirl shouldn't be so mean, BUT you can't lie to say that if not then...Wordgirl would have blown up at him one day and it's good that Tobey at least knows what she deep down thought of him. I know a lot of people who like Tobey don't think he should be treated badly ever, but no, the kid kinda needs the humbling (the stuff of his appearance was uncalled for though. Like who cares about his drip Wordgirl--he destroys buildings and belittles others 😭 thats the least of his issues.)

Another one is that I don't think Wordgirl/Becky owes him anything just because he likes her and is secretly lonely. Like you can have Tobey as your favorite and want him to be happy, but, to me, it's like don't just make Tobey the one who only gets Becky because he like deserves it after getting mega sad or he "won" her (im saying this as a tobey fan). What's Becky thoughts? Or make her the one to realize why she would be with Tobey? How does Tobey make her happy? And that it's okay that Becky rejects Tobey in a fic or art. It doesn't make her the bad one in the scene or that she's treating him unfairly. (Something I realized in my own fic).

#wordgirl opinions #jam asks #pls dont kill me for this #Moss if you read this. i definitely came to this ask bc of our talk and the more I see of that interpretation the more i wanted to say.#your so smart #also #I get to analyze and slighty critique Tobecky all I want. im their biggest defender and advocator. i can do this #/lh

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katsu-curry835 · 1 year

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I cannot stress this enough tiktok has a policy whereby it CENSORS CONVENTIONALLY UNATTRACTIVE PPL. They will demote your video if you have wrinkles, an obvious beer belly, are too fat or too thin or have dwarfism. Among other horrid policies of course. The below is a leaked document from the moderators detailing what should be demoted by the algorithm.

I’m aware that most social media apps harvest your data, are prone to pipelines and shadowbanning and don’t pay their creators enough but TikTok is genuinely the w o r s t in every category. You genuinely lose nothing by not using it. Below is another image of a glitch that showed activist hashtags such relating to BLM with 0 views (they got shadowbanned)

Another huge problem that exists on the app is the radicalisation pipelines are so strong because the three minute vid and 150 character comment format completely flattens nuance. All it takes is for someone to sound confident and talk fast enough with a vaguely coherent argument before you start thinking that overpopulation is a myth and engaging in needless drama (see: Drew Afualo and Bela Delgato, Danisha Carter and her critics etc.) This is poisoning how we interact with politics. YouTube is nowhere near perfect but it at the very least rewards longer form content this stuff like video essays is promoted on there. Tumblr has no character limit so you can read the entirety of this shitty essay without me needing to cut things for brevity. Typing a TikTok comment has driven me insane before because 150 characters is not even close to enough to have an informed discussion. Who is correct has now become who can slam dunk on someone else the best.

I do genuinely think that Drew Afualo is a net positive for the world and I’m glad she’s using the TikTok algorithm to spread good messages. But let’s be honest here, her videos aren’t well researched takes on misogyny. And I don’t think they’re trying to be either. Drew shouldn’t be expected to sit down and research a TikTok while she’s shitting on some asshole; that’s not her style. I think the problem is beyond her control. People are taking her quips and one-liners to formulate their opinions on the world around them. This is ok in this example given that Drew a positive influence. But this can and has been weaponised so easily to spread harmful rhetoric left and right and when you’re on political TikTok it’s impossible to tell which is which. Misinformation is also shockingly common and incentivised by the format.

Finally, your attention span is dying. Let’s look at YouTube. YouTube’s policies make it so that longer content is rewarded and, and this is a crucial point, you choose what you want to watch. On TikTok, because you are given content with the assumption you’ll enjoy it, you have to decide while watching if you want to scroll or not. Eventually your window of tolerance of videos before they get good shrinks and you’ll end up judging the quality of the content based on the first seven seconds. Comparatively, YouTube has you choose videos assuming you’ll like them and therefore you’ll spend more time with the art before you decide whether or not it’s for you. When your attention shrinks to seven seconds on TikTok, this bleeds into other aspects of your life and is incredibly unhealthy (speaking from experience). I had to watch two hour long video essays to compensate for how TikTok was just wrecking my focus.

Most people know TikTok sucks and use it anyway but then encourage others not to get it. Why don’t we delete it? Here’s an idea, if you have TikTok, get rid of it now. Destroy its ubiquity and only use Tumblr and YouTube /j No but seriously delete the app I’m so happy I did. My life has improved infinitely since.

#tiktok #personal essay #in this essay i will #social media #delete tiktok

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hard--headed--woman · 4 months

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I struggle to sympathize with detrans people especially bc I made a lot of trans/enby friends on TikTok before I peaked, and it’s impossible to get through to them even simple stuff. I get some certain situations like homophobic parents or being young af, etc. but there has to start being some personal accountability put in place, especially now that this stuff has gotten more mainstream now. If one is putting all these hormones in the body, and getting these surgeries and ppl in their life are telling them hey wait or think, and they’re pushed as bigoted, who’s to blame five years when the regret settles in? How far should we be pushing this? I feel like in the US ppl have gotten comfortable blaming everything on capitalism or racism (and I say this as a black woman) but there are fine lines. I can’t lay down on the street rn then blame a car when I get hit. It’s sad but it’s true.

It's a complicated subject and I don't want to get into victim blaming by saying that detrans people got what they deserved and that they should have thought twice about it, and so on. We all know that the pressure of the TQ+ community is extremely powerful, that it forbids anyone to criticize anything that concerns it, or even to question anything; it acts like a cult and when you're in it, it's hard to realize all the fucked-up aspects of this community, and that therefore it's easy to go with the flow and make mistakes without realizing how serious they are. All it takes is for someone to start frequenting the tq+ side of the internet at a very young age (as many people do) and/or feel very bad about themselves/come from a homophobic family etc... and then it's unfortunately very easy for them to fall into the trap of trans ideology and start transitioning. Especially as supporters of gender ideology insist that any criticism of transitioning or transidentity is bigotry, encourage people to block "terfs" because "they just want you dead and don't know what they're talking about, it's just hate, don't listen to what they're saying!", and encourage people to stay locked in their bubble, isolating them from any outside criticism or opinion. It then becomes very difficult for people to question anything, to have access to different opinions, to criticism, to people explaining what's wrong with the transition. It's really hard to realize what you're doing when you're stuck in a cult. Add to that the misogyny and suffocating homopyobia of society and the result is conducive to falling into the trap. So I completely understand the detrans people and support them; I'm glad they've managed to escape this ideology and detransition.

I think that yes, there's a certain amount of personal responsibility to be admitted, especially for people who transitioned at over 25, because it's too easy to blame everything and everyone without saying "yes, I made a mistake even if it wasn't entirely my fault", but I wouldn't go so far as to say that detrans people should be totally blamed.

#anon #asks

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g-xix · 5 months

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Not the same Anon but some things I wished he had addressed considering he said he was gonna cover everything:

-Past Racism (KKK edit, the Native American tweet) it’s honestly extremely strange to me that these weren’t covered in his video considering they were pretty big controversies

-That one tweet about doxing, he talks about how he said getting doxed as someone without a following and how he shouldn’t have said that which is good but doesn’t talk about the tweet where he says he gets satisfaction in watching other ppl private their twitter. I personally think that tweet is way more damning because “it’s less bad for ppl who don’t have a following to get doxed” is way easier to just pass off as a badly worded opinion then “I like it when people who criticize me are so badly harassed by fans that they have to private their twitter” is

-Talks about how doxing is bad and ppl r parasocial but doesn’t openly acknowledge the multiple times his fandom has gotten ppl doxed, such as quote retweeting a minor who didn’t like his plushie and causing them to get harassed of the internet. Yes he acknowledges doxing is bad, but I think this could’ve been a very good moment for him to look at a specific situation where his fans reacted FOR HIM and say “this was bad don’t do this” which I think would be far more effective than a general “doxing is bad”. He could also acknowledge his part in getting this person harassed because he absolutely did not need to quote retweet them to a fandom that is known for doxing. No dream is not responsible for his fans doxing ppl, some fans will do it even if he condemns it that’s not his fault, BUT refusing to acknowledge the reality that there is an vocal part of his community that does this this and therefore just calling out other ppl without critically thinking abt how his fan base will react to it is harmful.

-His fans age, we all know who dreams primary audience is and it’s primarily teenagers, I’m not saying no adults watch him or that he needs to cater to children when he doesn’t want to, but I think it’s incredibly stupid to act like his audience isn’t consisted largely of that demographic. Everyone lies on YouTube age, when I was 7 my age for my YouTube was 21. I just think it’s a weird point to focus on when it’s very much not true.

-the “I love miners” joke in the middle of his grooming allegations that literally happened like a month ago and proves that in the some vain of blaming his (alleged) victims of not taking SA/ grooming seriously that he is ALSO not treating the situation with the gravity it deserves.

-Liking negative tweets about other creators (Tommy and quackity). I know he confirmed there’s another person running one of his fanart account (I don’t know if these r the same accounts, sorry) but either way I think it’s irresponsibly to either 1. Be publicly liking things that shame other creators and create more vitriol and hatred between fan bases or 2. Not tell this girl to stop liking that stuff?? I think after repeatedly seeing her like stuff that either encourages shipping or hatred towards other ccs he should have set some rules with her about what she could like if he didn’t agree with what she was liking.

-The 24 page document, I just wish he’d gone more in depth with document other than looking at one part going “it’s not true!” And then moving on. I think it would’ve been so much better just to actually go through and debunk the whole thing if he was able to.

-The weird sexual “jokes” made towards minors such as Tommy and Tubbo’s little sister. Yes they were “just jokes” and they don’t make him a groomer or a pedo, but a lot of them are superrrr uncomfy. The one abt Lani especially makes me uncomfortable, sexual jokes made towards you pretty much always suck, and I don’t think this makes him irredeemable but he should at least acknowledge how gross and uncomfortable this kind of humor is and try not to repeat it. If you aren’t aware of these jokes there’s a video by technoinnit on YouTube called proof/clips of dream making sexual jokes abt minors that I recommend watching

Yes he has addressed a lot of these before not in the video, but like he’s addressed everything else in the video before too?? In my personal opinion dream really focused on the stuff that I feel is easier to make himself look good for or just apologize for in general. Sorry if this is long I just wanted to address why each of the things he left out felt harmful to his argument because while I feel like a lot of the hate towards dream is often way too much or uncritical there are things that are important to criticize him for and ppl are acting like this video has absolved him of all his misdeeds or whatever when I very much feel that a lot of his video is less of an “apology” or and acknowledgement of his own faults then a “yes I guess I’ve messed up a little bit but look at how hard my life is and that’s why I acted that way” (not saying that the stuff he and his family have gone through isn’t bad, but the doesn’t excuse all his behaviors)

Wow hiya sorry ive taken a couple days to reply, here now tho :)

First read, wow "vitriol", never heard or seen that word used before. Will remember that one for my literature paper next month.

But that's really in depth, thanks for takin the time to explain it all out anon

Brief impressions:

-Making sexual jokes w friends is vibes, but there's deffo a breach of normality if you're making jokes to minors (Dream making jokes to Tommy n Tubbo u said?) And omfg, jokes at Lani? Wild as hell, esp when i can pretty firmly assume they wuldnt b close AT ALL, that's j blatantly uncomfortable regardless of all other circumstances which make it seriously fucking disturbing

-Yeah, the way the Dream fandom can dox is crazy. It's some serious skill but used in such a vitriol way (did i use the word correctly, here?) It does feel a wee bit hypcocritical if he's saying doxxing is bad and then posting the @'s of Tweets from Anti-Dreamers without blurring the person's username, considering i feel like in that scenario he's sort of opening the table to online harrassment n possibly doxxing if shit really hit teh roof....

-Liking negative tweets ab other creators is so SNAKY! Idk if any Dream followers know Locked In/Footasylum, but guy called "Nightscape" on YouTube did this after going on Footasylum's reality show "Locked In" and got absolutely blasted for being "snaky" and "backstabbing"... And tbf, i think it's quite clear there's not much friendship between Dream n Tommy anymore, but ya gotta have some class or even just basic dignity to not do this shit...

Just some brief thoughts on what you've posted n what I've seen so far, cheers for giving the info dump, anon 👍

#WAFFLE!!#youtube #dream #dream neg #dreamwastaken neg #dwt neg

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cupcraft · 10 months

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Things tumblr should do instead of whatever their current plans are (NOTE: IN MY OPINION)

1: other interesting ways to monetize the site along the same lines as the merch/ad free/random things to add to your blog/etc. I don't mind optional monetization that is helpful for it to run and neutral on how it's used.

2: fix post searching and tag searching. I shouldn't have to lose a post especially if I've tagged it properly because it just won't search.

3: better reporting system that allows for more comprehensive reporting and better deals with bots/scams/bigotry/and harassment. I also shouldn't have to BE the person being harassed to report harassment that is public and visible. And I shouldn't have to report harassment to get an email from tumblr that's just like "oh well even though this person has been a bigot/harassed people 10000000 times we just deleted the post I suggest you block them".

4: Get rid of tumblr live or at the very least I don't want to see it move it somewhere else. Opt in policy for it to be on the dash.

5: make the explore page better. Idk specifically what.

6: make algorithmic things opt in. I want to remove the for you page but I'm okay if others choose to have it there, for example.

7: make the messaging system easier to use and look through. Add ways to search dms better. I don't want to scroll through 2 years worth of messages only for it to glitch and explode.

8: please allow me to see the prev reblog. Move the hit box back on the reblog from name.

9: better policy on ppl who have multiple urls. Instead of just getting rid of their use of the main blog forever and ever that is.

9: do more interactive community content that encourages ppl to participate In tumblr (opt in of course). Like help artists for inktober, find ways to promote rbs over likes, do challenges and events, etc! Promote fandom content and interaction. Bolster the community that is already here.

And I can't think of other stuff rn feel free to add on lol !

#my musings #tumblr

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mahikamihan · 7 months

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Hi there! It’s been a few days but I’m back. Twitchcon has been fun, huh? In the spirit of the Dream and Friends panel, my question today is less of a question and more of a request. Shout out another blog, whether they’re a beloved mutual or someone you’ve never spoken to but just think is cool, and say something nice about them!

-🐝

hello bee anon! i wanna shout out a few amazing ppl here,

@moonthreadsz sel!! thank you for all the dream and friends plushie comparisons, they make me feel soft and happy whenever i see them on the dash, i live your sylvee posting it made me really broaden my interests from just dream team to dream team and a lot of his friends like hannah and sylvee and puffy🌼

@andthingsleftover meryah, 🫂🫂 you are so nice, im so happy you reached out and we talk about random foolish tina and other stuff and thank u for helping and encouraging me with dtblr halloween stuff 💕 u are so nice and supportive

@amethystcove avery i know u arent as active here, but just wanna shout out bc you are awesome and you keep in touch and i love whenever i hear from you 🫂 we should play speedrunners again some time 🥺👉👈💕

also @tinamybeloved veri 🌸 idk if u knew but you were one of the people who inspired me to start making tina art and your screenies made me try out doing tumblr collages so 💕💕💕💕

also shout out to everyone who enjoy my doodles and constantly reblog and interact with me 💕💕💕💕 you know who u are! aaaaaaah

#i have so much nice things to say about the bloggers here but i dont have time 😭😭😭#bee anon you unlocked a part of me that overflows w love #yumi answers

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medievalpeasant · 3 months

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wbn stuff please do not spoil yerself it’s a great pod i encourage you to listen

sorry. gonna have to be an Ame stan on this one. Let’s look at what’s happening to her. She is:

1. 20.

2. neurodivergent (the coding is pretty obvious)

3. Has just inherited one of the most important position in the setting. The fate of the world is literally on her shoulders.

4. Has just woken up from a month long coma where she regained *numerous* important memories. All at once she begins to see the danger she is in.

5. Has woken up in one of the two hearts of an enormous imperial machine (let’s be clear: the citadel is a tool of the militaristic Kehmsarazan Empire. its goals are the empires goals, that’s where they get their funding). This empire is occupying her home land.

6. This is an incredibly dangerous place for herself, and her friend Eursalon. We see this from the Cassov collection, from the artificer’s factory, from Steels undermining and delay of her attempts to leave. Eursalon also understands this.

7. Her friend Suvi does not understand this. This is not Suvi’s fault, there are so many factors that make it very difficult for her to learn the truth (one of the main icons of this militarism, steel, is literally her adoptive mother) but it is still true that Suvi seems unaware (I want to state for the record that I really like Suvi. I think she’s an excellent character played excellently).

8. Steel. Steel is very scary. She’s the sword of the citadel, the head of its armies. She has probably the most important role in the entirety of the city. She has brought her legion back, is searching for vaguely designed “traitors” and “spies”, and is using the threat and reality of police and military violence to get her way. let’s be very clear. this is a coup. Even if it’s not, how could someone in Ame’s position be anything but frightened by this?

9. A friend of grandmother Wren’s and talented diviner, Sly, has told her that it is very important she leave, and soon, and that while her best friend Suvi *must* accompany her on pain of death, Suvi will not receive permission to accompany her.

10. All of this is merely the preamble to what may be the most important few days of her life, the summit at the north pole. The meeting will determine the fate of magic, the safety of every human in the world, and whether the job Ame has been training for since she was like 8 will even continue to exist.

With all of that in mind, it seems pretty obvious what Ame is (quite reasonably) thinking.

“Here i am in incredible danger. Not only is this the worst place in the world for me to be, but i desperately need to be a different place doing different things. Oh no! Leaving is difficult, and getting out relies on my friend Suvi unlearning her indoctrination over the course of a couple hours. Fuck! Let’s bounce.”

That this is a reasonable position is not only reenforced by everything I just said, but by the fact that Eursalon completely agrees! When presented with the same information (plus a little more, since he’s people smart in a way the other two aren’t), he comes to exactly the same conclusion. Let’s bounce!

My point isn’t that Suvi is evil, or that people should be shitty to Aabria Iyengar (she’s mentioned that ppl have been. if that’s you, fuck off!). It’s just that Ame is not the villain here either. She’s making decisions that I can only imagine I would also make in her position.

Plus, why are people only shit talking Ame? When Eursalon is doing the same shit? and is in fact more responsible for violence against citadel solders (see:the end of the previous arc) (which i don’t begrudge him either, for reasons i would get into if i wasn’t so tired)? It’s just obvious sexism. (tho i also wouldnt be surprised if people were trashing Eursalon abt this and I just haven’t seen it. still, the degree to which the hate is Ame focused is telling)

Anyway, I’m talking too much and no one will read this. I’m just saying, keep in mind the pressures mounting on Ame before accusing her of quest fever.

#wbn pod #wbn spoilers #wbn #wbn: www #ame #ame no-canon-last-name-to-my-knowledge #ame nclntmk #again i really wanna stress that i love aabria iyengar and respect her work very m #uch. got cut off

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cryingatships · 9 months

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I was rewatching Dangerous Romance for Reasons, and there's sooo many stuff happening in the background, but this dinnertime conversation between Kanghan and his father made me think a little deeper.

Kanghan first brings up the topic of him running for the school president. His grandmother encourages him, saying how proud she'll be to have her son and grandsons be successful in their own areas.

"I could tell the whole neighborhood about it."

Very typical Asian elder talk. C'mon Asian ppl of ql tumblr, we've all heard about how the kid next door is the student representative/won an essay competition/ranked first in the exam/plays a sport in the state level/is good at singing etc etc etc right

Maybe a little very annoying (if you're not running for the school president, that is) but matches up with reality. Elders being proud of their kids' or grandkids' achievements, and more often than not pushing them to do better, to excel. You gotta do better than the other kids in academics/grades/sports/socialablity/arts etc etc

Then Kanghan's father speaks up and his words not only contrasts Kang's grandmother's (can I just call her granny from now? grandmother is too long a word) but with much of the usual way ('usual' cause I can't say every single parent/grandparent in Asia is the same) elders in Asia perceive the childrens' school life. Instead of telling Kanghan to work hard and do well, he actively *discourages* Kanghan to steer away from it.

"This kind of work is not easy, you know?"

"You don't want to do it. Trust me"

Now, I'm all for not stressing out kids. Personal experiences ahaha But this is actively restricting Kanghan from exploring and developing his interpersonal and leadership skills, which, I don't think any parent would want to do? Especially someone from the higher economic background, who would prefer their kids to be all shiny and nice. And this is also cutting off someone's chances of developing themselves, opening their wings to the world.... not the best thing a parent should do, certainly.

But it doesn't stop there. Mr. Father I forgot his name is not merely advising, or cautioning Kang. Instead, he is not leaving Kanghan with any decision to choose whether he actually wants to run or not. He's the one making Kanghan's choices, he's taking away Kanghan's agency.

His words appear to be full of care, concerned for Kang's safety. He just wants his son to enjoy his schools years fully.

"At your age, don't stress yourself out unnecessarily. Just have fun at school and hang out with your friends. Then come home to enjoy a good meal of food. Have a good night's sleep."

But, it just hits me as wrong. Idk why, maybe I'm picking too much, looking at all the wrong things and making the worst assumptions. But still, telling their children to only enjoy themselves and do nothing else... I don't feel like that's the best for their future life, not matter how much generational wealth they'll inherit. The need to show off kids is proportional to economic affluence, in my experience?? But ofc very variable

"These kind of thing suits you better. Trust me"

This line, especially. It makes it seem that Kanghan never had a choice. His father had made all the choices for his present and future based on the image of Kanghan he has created on his mind. Is his image actually true to reality? We don't know yet (it's only the 1st ep and I'm def digging too deep and pulling wild theories out of slowly-thickening-but-still-too-this air.)

Kanghan will be what his father wants him to be, what his father believes would suit him. Not so much of a caring father then, eh?

Another interesting thing is Kanghan's posture. He's tense, hunched, not meeting his father's eyes except for in quick, shifty glances. Completely different from his father's confident, smiley way of presenting himself. He's not smiling, he just listens and agrees quickly without saying a word of opposition, or bringing up his own views on the topic.

And in moments like these I wish I knew gifmaking because when these conversation is happening, Kanghan is fidgeting with the cutlery in his hand. He's nervous, stressed.

And his father, who doesn't want his son to be stressed, should atleast be able to tell how the atmosphere has turned heavy, right? but he doesn't seem t care much about stress on his son if he's the one behind the stress.

Now I'm no body language expert but these are some tell tale signs (though the context of Kang's nervousness can be due to some other history he has with his father, rather than emotional manipulation?)

"Have this, son."

And the obedient son is rewarded with a gift of affection. A show of care. Positive reinforcement. Whatever you wanna call it.

Kang tries to smile but of course he can not.

There's another thing, Grandmother, the oldest one at the table, who ought to have enough authority in the household to counter Mr Father, if not more (cause seniority, filial piety and all that), does not oppose him. Though she is not happy with the decision, and she also wants to see her grandson shine and smile.

Then we cut to the scene of Pimfah hope I'm not mistaking names again and Kanghan in the garden. Here, Kanghan seems fine, he's smiling, but he seems to have a dangerous (sadistic?but not in the fun way. also half title drop yay!) streak to him.

The whole dog discussion shivering and hugging my cats protectively.

"My father told me, if you want to tame a dog, don't be afraid to punish it to let it learn."

At first I thought he's just being his privileged rich oppress the poor talk that he's socialised into for being born into wealth.

But after thinking this way, could it be that the one getting punished and tamed, is actually Kanghan himself? With the way his father treats him, denial followed by care, and the way Kanghan does not even try to disobey his father's words... hmmm....

"They say if you hit a dog too much, it can become aggressive."

Being abused as a child lead to higher chances of the child turning abusive, a bully themselves in later life.

That said, whatever one faces in childhood or any other walks of life is NO excuse for further harming another person. Lots of abuse victims become activists, volunteers, or research into abuse prevention and participate in policy making, too.

But anyway, *if* abuse of truly happening in the father-son relationship, can we hope that Kanghan directs any resultant aggressiveness towards his father at the end of the show? Cause idk if a man of such power and wealth can be held accountable to the law... We didn't get this with Vegas but can I hope?

That said, the following dialogues has weakened my line of thought.

But then again media is always perceived differently by different people based on their socialisation and experiences so...

SO anyway, that's some of the scattered thoughts I had! This is probably not a correct observation (my guesses are never right, I'm not lucky at cards ueueue), and ep 2 will prove it wrong in a few hours. Can't say I'm not looking forward to that ehehe~ What consequences will Sailom face for his daring? Will the teacher get punched? Will Kanghan get beaten? (hopefully by Sailom or his friends and not by his father) Will Nawa get slapped? (Guy looks like he packs a mean slap, and Marc Pahun looks pretty af when he's miffed u.u) Will Pimfah have cute girlie? (I CAN HOPE), will we get to see Sailom's elder brother?

ALSO, since we have yet another politician and his rich, spoilt on the exterior son airing on Saturdays, my views have certainly been influenced, too. There are too many similarities (except Kanghan actually still has a mother figure?), so high chances I'm unconsciously projecting Senator Thattep and Tanthai's relationship on Kanghan and his father's. Maybe all they have is some coldness, or historym or issues regarding Kanghan's mother? The possibilities are not endless, but there's a lot u.u

#dangerous romance the series #dangerous romance #kanghan #sailom #hmmm #the clown makeup kit is all ready for this evening #I maybe wrong but now that I've written it all my brain is quiet atleast #ah

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aewrie · 27 days

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i've gone so far off the rails but we're in too deep now too late to turn back

or, long ass tirade re: writing consent and lack of thereof and weird nuanced situations is go

(who died and made me the boss? no one. but ppl keep telling me i write this stuff good so presumably i'm doing something right)

first off: if you think deriving enjoyment/catharsis of any kind from fictional nonconsent scenarios is gross and wrong: you're not gonna like me, please go away

second off: i am approaching the majority of this from the angle of writing (hopefully) engaging fiction. this is personal thoughts flavoured by my preferences, not a universally applicable how-to guide and not a consent 101 for real life purposes

also, for context

'excplicit on-screen consent is awkward'

skill issue

but yes. it can be. very much so.

i'll start off with that i have put words into characters' mouths at times bc i felt the need to tell others something (even if intended audience for a given message might never stumble across it) and will do it again, But good luck trying to figure out what those instances are,

but anyhow i think that's where a big part of the problem stems from. people (writers) try to tell their audience things (educating them on consent) at the expense of their story and characterizations. and then when they try to make it sound less awkward they attempt shortcuts like a handful of specific Sexy Ways To Ask For Consent lines that i saw people lamenting about in the notes of that post, rather than, again, trying to think of how these characters might have this interaction happen and if it serves the story and its purposes

(what i mean by 'a story's purposes' is what's the goal here. is it to explore these characters. is it to make the audience feel a certain way, or to have them think about something. and bc we're talking about smut here too is the point to get off and that's it)

if i try to think back i can remember exactly one (1) pwp smut fic where a character stopping abruptly in the middle of business to ask for consent in an somewhat questionable situation was entertaining, and that's bc the other one's response was basically that ship sailed ages ago don't you fucking dare leave me hanging here

'fiction influences how people act irl'

"...and therefore all sex scenes should have on-screen consent to help model healthy communication"

to a degree, yes, fiction can influence people when information on a topic is otherwise scarce, but the solution here isn't to turn porn into sex ed, it's to provide better sex ed outside fiction. if you write explicit enthusiastic consent SOLELY because you think your average reader needs help grasping the concept, i worry. to paraphrase a post i can't be assed to dig up bc it was years and years ago: if we rely on people's chance encounters with pornography as a means to educate the masses on safe sex, we've already lost the ball. grievously.

and i need to stress that i LIKE writing explicit consent, when it makes sense, and in ways that make sense. i'm not opposed to showing what attempts at healthy communication can look like in fiction. i think there should be stories like these! i think they can be great in introducing people to new ideas and encourage learning more outside fiction. but also i think in many situations it's just better to share educational resources separately and let the stories be stories, even if the aim is to have the communication etc reflect what you'd generally want/expect irl.

one thing i like to include (when applicable) is the term edgeplay in my descriptions/tags; it's a small thing but maybe someone not familiar will see it and realize that maybe they shouldn't be diving into what my characters are doing headfirst, even if it works out in the story

i do think mainstream porn especially could use more things like brief scenes after the main meat of a film where the actors are just chilling and stuff. a little grounding moment when it's time to 'return to reality', particularly with more hardcore stuff.

but we're primarily talking smutty fanfic, a niche within a niche, and like. honestly a lot of fanfic does better on this front already, bc we tag for these things. the understanding is already there that the fic is following tropes and kinks and specific crafted scenarios regarding consent. #sex pollen is the author telling you here will be that particular kink/trope, but also that someone's decision making is influenced/impaired by some substance belonging under the sex pollen category

wait i thought a good way to highlight the key point here;

> author's wanting to include on-screen consent because they prefer that, or want to encourage people, even if on a small scale, to think more about this more, etc: awesome! go for it! i do this too!

> other people pushing an expectation that fanfic smut writers of all people are responsible for educating the masses in order to fix a society-wide problem: please get a grip

i have written a pretty wide range of situations where there was on-screen consent but i'll get more onto that later,

and then i've also written/drawn stuff where there's absolutely no whiff of anything resembling healthy discussion or concern for boundaries, and a good chunk of that has been smut. i do love pwp fic/erotic art where you can read into it what you want to read into it; eg i have a fic that *could* be read as the pov character is really into it, the consent just isn't explicit on screen OR yeah that's just straight up noncon and brainwashing, just subtle about it -- i tagged for power imbalance. readers can read and imagine further details as they like. a one shot pwp with no wider narrative attached to it lends itself particularly well for something like this.

when there is a bigger story attached, i gotta start considering more how characters interact with each other and what their relationships are like, but even then, please refer to the diegetic vs non-diegetic bdsm fic post

and of course the one part of this wank that only noncon enjoyers seem to even notice: i'm more worried about the people who write ""consensual"" sex scenes that are in fact dubcon at best, because they genuinely do not seem to realize this, than the ppl writing wildly not-appropriate-to-replicate-irl scenes with full awareness that this is the case. and often, you can tell. even if it's not spelled out in the text itself.

'consent is sexy'

i am facepalming and groaning (in frustration, just for the sake of clarity) and glaring at my screen

rl? consent isn't sexy. it's necessary. it absolutely CAN be sexy but that's not a prerequisite. in fact sometimes these discussions can be actively unsexy and THAT'S FINE (trust a cnc kinkster to be the one voice of sanity in the notes of that post and be the one to bring up this point; you, random tumblr user, are a real one) bc being sexy is not the point. the mutual agreement and knowing what you're getting into is the point

(i get this phrase is less or more something created with the purpose of basically marketing consent but still)

in fiction, it can be many fucking things. including the worst boner killer you've seen. refer back the where we started, and also the whole, when the reader's here just to get off chances are they aren't in the mood for a lowkey lecture in consent (and/or safe sex)

also!!

i wouldn't say character gasping i want you in the middle of making out is sexy bc it's explicit consent, but rather it's sexy bc they're needy. because they can't contain how much they desire the other person and are emotionally vulnerable in expressing that. and does leaning into something like that not make for a more interesting and engaging (including in the sense of being arousing) storytelling than 'yes, i, a mature adult of legal age to consent and not currently under the influence of any substances that might impede my judgement, enthusiastically consent to performing the sex with this person who is my equal in every way'?

(i am exaggerating for comedic effect but that's how reading some examples i've seen feels like at times. and if someone out there thinks that is sexy i want to study them under a microscope. fully solidified brain risk centers has me fucking weeping.)

people writing things with consent/boundary issues that aren't straight up noncon (moderately spicy opinions time)

you see here' the thing with me being comfortable acknowledging that something can be noncon AND sexy: i am also perfectly content acknowledging more grey area type situations that so many others completely miss on their crusade against the Problematic noncon (and age gaps. let's be real fandom loves to hate on age gaps even when they're a completely non-issue, and then is damn oblivious to often far more glaring potential red flags. (see hannigram. apparently some people think the ship is Bad because of the age gap and no other reason.))

coffeeshop aus being the ~fluffiest most wholesome trope~ that's actually problematic bc that's just sexually harassing a service worker who may not be able to do shit about it is just one oft used example. other such things include: teacher/student or mentor/student relationships, doctor/medic/healer + their patient relationships, gods + their followers/priests, spiritual leaders + regular people of the applicable faith, ceo/evil overlord/whathaveyou and their employees/staff/underlings, the list goes on, wrt consent these are all at the very least sketchy by irl standards even if everyone was an adult and technically consented, and i didn't even list nearly every scenario imaginable,

and oh boy i almost forgot to mention things like love potions, sex pollen, aphrodisiacs, characters in heat, etc etc

BUT in fic, if we're not all fixated on being Pure and Unproblematic, these can be fucking great and romantic and sexy. for a moment we can pretend that getting flirted on by the cute regular and writing your number on the back of a receipt to hand with their drink you have memorized bc that person always orders the same thing is the pinnacle of romance. we can imagine that a follower in their blind devotion isn't a prime target for exploitation but rather their god's favourite pet who gets special treatment. you get the idea.

just, don't whine about problematic fic if you can't face the iffy parts in your own favourite romance/sex fantasies?? we're all freaks here and slapping a BUT my characters EXPLICITLY STATE that they consent on yours doesn't change that my dubcon pwp and your coffee shop au both inherently have a certain disregard of boundaries built in. it's a feature. it makes the story better at what it is supposed to be. that is: a fantasy. trying to shoehorn in standardized explicit on-screen consent can get weird beyond a superficial level of wholesome, unless you're willing to acknowledge the fact that this is actually at least a little Problematic. you don't have to spell it out in the fic, but. at least think about it, if depicting only the most wholesome consensual educational intimate encounters is so very important??

back onto depicting attempts at healthy communication/consent for a bit

the thing is, care and communication and respecting boundaries and trusting each other and all that can just as much be a fantasy explored in a story(!)

and i say 'attempts at healthy communication' rather than 'healthy communication' for a reason. even when i try to go for something grounded in how these things can look like in reality, characterization and narrative comes first. i've cut banger lines bc they felt too much like we're trying to do therapy and i'll damn well do it again. same with consent. i'm here to tell a story. even when it's grounded in realism. i'm not First And Foremost trying to model a healthy relationship even if my story has an element of hey, practising good consent *can* look something like this. characters can and should stumble and make mistakes and have conflicts that don't have perfect solutions, and that applies here too. we apply suspension of disbelief everywhere else in fiction. this is no different.

!! and, in insisting on reading this kind of fictional intimacy as Educational, people are going to miss more subtle ways in which the scenario may not be ideal. i shouldn't have to explain why that's Not Good

you can have fun with this actually And make it another tool of characterization etc

and on-screen consent doesn't have to look the same for every scenario and character. in fact it shouldn't. bc if it does, now you've probably stumbled into the pitfall of writing consent 101, possibly with an attempt at making it more sexy, rather than story.

like, just some ideas off of the top of my head that aren't 'yes, i consent':

normally abrasive character who needs to be in control at all times becomes more subdued and allows another to get intimate. just maybe a reserved 'you can', and them not fighting like they usually do with everything just out of habit

characters who cannot keep their hands off of each other because they're just desperately wanting to get as close and intimate as possible. no time for words. no chance for words because between kisses they're too out of breath anyway. (how is there any argument about this sort of scenario leaving consent 'vague'??)

normally reserved & quiet character making a subtle first move that, when coming from them, is Big

character is too excited and aroused and struggles to make the words go but their actions very much scream Want, while the other is going on about how sexy they are

honestly, nala giving simba the bedroom eyes in tlk style situation is a good one if you're just fading to black

'i want you', 'i need you', 'let me have you'

actually i'm providing some examples by yours truly;

my longfic is just. there's two sex scenes. one character is very experienced and the other is aroace and has not had an intimate relationship of any kind prior to this. i put emphasis on the curiosity and uncertainty and the more experienced character wanting to be sure that everything's fine, because he cares about that. for how i wrote these characters and this relationship, this approach made sense. i have lines like:

"You would give me this experience with you, then?" "Is this alright?" "I know my boundaries. That includes knowing which ones I am willing to bend." "Go slow at first and it's all good." "Tell me how it feels?"

I wouldn't necessarily label ^this scene smut in a conventional sense tbh. it's more the characters trying to figure things out and being a bit awkward about it at points.

and then i have this example later on of how a lack of clear 'yes' can be more fun:

If they think they are going to get a coherent answer out of him, they are wrong. The sight between his legs demands his attention, and he knows nothing sensible would come out of his mouth now, if he tried. The best he manages to give is a whine that maybe was supposed to be a 'please', but who knows. He certainly doesn't.

from a different story with same characters, we have

"You are so responsive to simple touch, my friend." Simple, he says. Distracting. That it is.

closely followed by

"If I should stop, will you tell me?" They look up. Tell him? They don't bother, often, with trying; so many don't pay attention. Most keep a distance anyway. But some, they don't care if they push away or try to leave, unless they want to go away themselves; don't care that they hold a weapon until they use it, they know how to use it, it is not an idle threat. Easier to fight or run away, depending. Not to bother, when others deny their mind, their decisions. But he wants to know? "Three taps. Or something else, but still thrice. Somewhere I can feel it. I will know, then." So simple. They can do that. "Will you?" He wants to know. Nod; yes. They will.

in which we establish a safeword without calling it a safeword! to have a clear way of communicating no/stop when these two aren't that familiar with one another and the pov character is nonverbal. again, bc it made sense for my characterizations. frankly(!) leading up to this there's little things that are less good consent, like pov character feeling they have to decide on the spot if they engage or not when they realistically would have liked more time to think (and did not expect further checking ins along the line bc Unfamiliar Territory) but for the oneshot fic it works, bc it gets things moving along at a decent pace.

also good spot to go on a tangent about how perhaps im just too aroace for all this nonsense bc I KNOW the gag is that oh you're reading this very filthy smut? we all know what you're here for ;) ;) and i'm legitimately like. good character writing?? yes?? with tasty word building on the side as a bonus maybe?? i Do Not look at sexual content as inherently or even primarily as something that exists for the sake of sexual gratification, it's just another thing you can include in a story. if it's sexy for others and all that awesome, if not, that's a you problem lol.

then less plotty more smutty ones;

The King parts his legs, then, just enough to allow access.

^depending how you kinky you'd like something like that, it could be an invitation or a command. depends on the surrounding context

He listens to the raspy breaths above him; they do not betray much, but he knows the subtle differences in the pattern, knows when he is getting close. / They would expect him to do something. They delight in the spontaneity, -- / -- watching how their hands twitch, listening to their little sounds. How he adores those sounds.

a selection of small things implying these characters are familiar with each other. and, that there's not so much of a point in confirming consent for everything every time. you can have it in there without spelling it out if you want, and especially with established relationships, that just makes sense, unless it's a Thing for them to go over the details each time. in which case: why. explain the logic and convince me (is it a kink for them? you could make it a kink thing if you want to play up the sexiness, but do realize that's going to be a niche thing.)

ooc is ooc. how would your character show or not show that they want to get nasty?

sidenote for kink etc: if your story isn't set in present-day real world or something close enough, you can implement a system that the readers will understand is a safeword, even if you don't call it that. is there something unique to your setting/characters that they might use instead, that might even make more sense in-universe? ALSO, in scifi/fantasy settings particularly you can possibly take stuff MUCH further than would be plausible or possible irl. don't be restricted to real world rules for kink, and with that, consider how this might impact stuff like negotiation. eg, 'anything that doesn't leave a permanent mark goes' carries a whole lot of different meanings when you have access to magic healing that leaves your skin looking perfectly unharmed. (this is for if your characters are aware that they are doing kink; if your characters aren't aware of this, proceed accordingly)

fixating on a verbal 'yes' like it's some kind of magic word just shows a fundamental misunderstanding of what consent even is

[cw for talk about sexual abuse etc from here out]

(if you're not familiar, please look up the fries model of consent. it's not a be all end all, but a solid starting point, particularly for vanilla scenarios.)

you can have a character go through the motions of consenting without it meaning jack shit due to the circumstances that lead them there. this partially ties to the whole people writing noncon without realizing. bc fiction generally involves conflicts of some kind, the things that drive your story forward can at the same time be what makes consent between your ship-to-be iffy, even if we all know that it's actually fine and no one's really being hurt (again, we apply suspension of disbelief etc), or just not good consent by any stretch of imagination.

is my neglected and emotionally abused ~late teens oc meaningfully consenting to sex when she's being pressured to 'earn her keep' by her caretakers and then getting pimped by her boyfriend who manipulates her? she says she's consenting. must be fine, then. right? right? (hint: No.)

another oc initiated what was at first a consensual encounter, voiced discomfort when things started going sideways, and when things Really went to shit, started fawning (among other things). is a yes, go ahead, i like that good consent here, or later in different situations, when this trauma rears its head and they're fawning again? (hint: No.)

and don't get me started on the 'verbal' part of a verbal 'yes' bc apparently some people out there genuinely insist that that's the only thing that matters- like YES, irl, if someone's body is responding to stimulus but they're saying no, that verbal no is what you pay attention to. but communication is so much more than plain spoken words. ffs.

writing lack of consent (spicy opinions incoming)

disclaimer addendum: if you're writing based on personal experiences, do whatever makes you comfortable. and i mean whatever. hell, even if it's not personal experiences or you're not sure, still that applies. i sure as fuck know it isn't so simple knowing if your experiences 'count' sometimes. again, personal thoughts/preferences re: fiction. not an edict to follow.

so, with fictional sexual abuse/nonconsent, i find a common point of struggle with this is a) person is writing noncon smut and they try too hard to make it Sexy, b) person is writing a story focusing on trauma and they try too hard to Be Sensitive

like honestly the best ones i've read, regardless of what the purpose of the story was, are the ones where the author approached it like just another topic to write about. go into detail when it serves the story you're telling. be vague when it serves the story you're telling. let the characters react in a way that makes sense rather than in a way that tells the reader how sexy and/or terrible this situation is. even if you're keeping things off screen, show what's going on in the character(s) heads.

for smut, trying too hard to make it sexy can come off as awkward and at times comical. and i'll wager, not in a way that's intended. not a noncon exclusive phenomenon, but perhaps more obvious here with the tone issues that come from that.

trying too hard to be sensitive is. it can come off as condescending? i don't want to chew up anyone for being uncomfortable, but i do take issue when people act like their way of dealing with their trauma is the Only Correct One (please shut up) and anyone who disagrees is Not A Real Survivor (please shut up), and especially if anyone more removed tries to dictate how to supposebly be respectful as if trauma worked the same for everyone

...have you ever watched a crime drama featuring sexual abuse and the general vibe that the whole situation has is just this oh you poor pitiable thing :( wrapped in a package of copaganda dressed as revenge fantasy. and it isn't even that the victim wants revenge, or anything really, for that matter, they're just kinda there to look vaguely sad. it's all just a side note to the getting the fix of Justified Corporeal Punishment

adjacent to that, is what comes with the territory of writing a sensitive topic with care: people beating around the bush and using vague euphemisms instead of describing ANYTHING. i'm not saying every single instance of depicting sexual abuse has to be graphic, but when it comes across like this is something so terrible and gross that you can't even mention it, are you being sensitive, or are you being avoidant? not every story that features sexual abuse in some capacity focuses on that, but with the ones that DO, worth considering why something is being left offscreen/underscribed.

(like i can straight up say when i've been Avoidant it was bc *i* was not in the spot to be dealing with that particular scenario in depth OR bc i was pre-emptively wanting to appease hypothetical others. for daring to include something a touch more personally vulnerable in art/fiction. neither was exactly the best mental place to be creating something planned to publicly share from.)

uh oh it's complicated

idk if i'll make any sense but i'll try to words

a somewhat tame example: unexpected kiss that gets handsy. we could have rough division of scenarios as such

1) character didn't consent to this, but actually wanted it so it's fine, 2) character didn't consent to this, and aggressively makes it clear, 3) character didn't consent to this, and it's complicated

scenario 1, when done well, is the surprise affection is sexy situation. characters know exactly what the other wants. there's a fantasy in that, of not having to voice your desires to have them realized, and whatnot.

with scenario 2, when do things pause to give it some weight? character in the receiving end shoves the other away and yells at them, or someone else does it for them, and then the whole matter gets brushed off after maybe a quick are you ok, feels like the usual way it goes. from a storytelling perspective, even a brief moment to show discomfort would make that land far better, if the point is to show that this is creepy and unwelcome?

and 3 is. what if it is unwanted, but the response doesn't scream get off of me. what if the character has complicated reactions, for a possibly wide variety of reasons. where things get messy. this compels me. but it's very different from both the prior ways to go about the same scenario and easily the most complicated, because we don't get that immediate simple dramatic 'resolution' either way, if you do this properly.

i love good dubcon/soft noncon/technically consensual/things of that nature. and i will argue that you can't really do those well if you don't have a decent understanding of consent. you can't properly navigate the nuance and grey areas and technicalities and it isn't consensual, but it's complicated or consensual but not safe or sane for a compelling, believable story if you don't have a solid grasp of how these things work

depicting sexual trauma without showing anything or even directly naming it

a while there was a post about how if you can't bring yourself to use words like 'kill', instead opting for euphemisms like 'unalive', then you probably aren't mature enough to write about death with any grace, and shared there was the sentiment that this applies to sexual abuse as well. absolutely valid point but also i had happened to finish a fic relevant to that discussion recently and Now i'm getting out that particular yes but there's also this other angle to consider

which is: does it make sense for the characters to describe things using a given phrasing?

my character who's just been slapped in the face with a significant trauma and is struggling not to dissociate probably isn't going to talk about it the same way as someone who's had time to process and heal and just had an epiphany in therapy. probably.

but i'm getting sidetracked from getting sidetracked so onto the next point (for now?)

if you're not allowed to write it badly, are you actually allowed to write it?

do your research and approach these topics with care and all that, yes, but also, are we demanding that people potentially writing about their own trauma and lived experiences are masters of their craft? does a vent fic or an autobiographical work have to stand up to scrutiny of representing sexual abuse 'respectfully'??

like, a bunch of people have pointed out how demanding people publicly disclose their trauma to be judged by complete strangers in order to determine if they're allowed to write something is all sorts of shitty, but hey, here's a thought adjacent to that i don't think i've seen anyone bring up. because seriously. if someone's screaming that they're hurting why the fuck should the primary concern be but are your creative skills up to par??

(i'll be blunt again and say this is in part why i've been extremely hesitant up until recently to include these sorts of things in my stories in much detail, but far more so, i'm thinking about all the fucking awful treatment i've seen others receive for talking about/depicting fictionalized retellings of their traumas ""incorrectly"".)

i'll admit it: my first attempts at depicting sexual trauma even as a sidenote to another story just plain sucked. there was an attempt but it was no good. in part i was young and less aware of everything, in part i was poorly mimicking existing examples that were generally meh

i'll also admit that what was genuinely most helpful at getting better was reading graphic noncon smut/angst. the well written stuff. because those fics aren't afraid to go into detail; rather, they enthusiastically dive into all the little and not so little things that make it more worse. they present the whole thing without dressing it to be palatable, and the jump from side note to copaganda to brutally honest survivor story was- i think the first really graphic one was the first time i could sympathize with the character and root for them in their journey to overcome the trauma. as opposed to almost voyeuristically (ironically enough) observe from a distance and then forget about it when the rest of the plot moved forward and forgot about it too.

and then one more thing relating to that that's been rattling around in the back of my mind for probably years now: there's one fic from years ago in particular that i think of when i consider the topic of fanfic depicting rape inappropriately. because that fic is not so different from noncon kink works i at times see from the type people arguably disrespected in said fic, just more novice in execution. it also makes me think of how i handled various areas of this whole consent/communication/boundaries jumble in my earliest attempts vs now. which is just one of those reasons i'm reluctant to judge intentions in these situations, at least outside mainstream entertainment where standards/expectations should be completely different.

in conclusion

this has been an i was exhausted and the filter was off ramble that got too damn long

have good day/night/whatever

#yourebabblingjulle #this got over 5k words btw it's Long

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