#but i hate when the server deteriorates | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rozugold · 1 month

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Ok ramble time

Ok imagine you’re Tubbo. You just got your distant brother figure and your bestie off that damn mountain, though not in the most ideal way (I will make those comics eventuallyyy)

But that’s beside the point. You saved your best friend! You did something right for once! Except sike! your best friend hates you now, and you kind of hate him too (you let him know as much) then you guys stop talking. Which is fine, i mean, it’s not like he was your entire world.

You return to Snowchester! It’s a ghost town, obviously. There’s a memorial of you, decorated with fresh flowers and dusty knick knacks. The flowers are from Ranboo, he’s pretty sweet. He’s also been the one to upkeep your town while you were gone. You hang out with them a lot, they’re the only one who sticks around these days. They’re pretty sweet.

You try to go back to doing the things you did before you died. There’s those nukes you never finished making, so you work on them. And you work on them. And you work on them. And you get nothing done. Your brain feels scattered and far away, it’s impossible to focus. So you give it a break, you can afford to. It’s pretty safe these days with Dream gone, you know because you keep tabs on everyone on the server. There’s some strange things going on here and there but nothing too concerning. You hang out with Ranboo more.

Ah fuck, you two find a baby. It’s a piglin, infected but not fully zombified as it has enough thought to run up to you two for help. So you take it back to snowchester and give it potions to stop the infection. Ranboo is worried it won’t work, you tell him it probably won’t. But you reassure him that if it doesn’t, you’ll take it back to the nether to let it “live” out the rest of it’s days. (Do zombies live?) Ranboo spends the night in your attic with the piglin. He’s pretty sweet. Regardless you tell him to not keep his hopes up too high.

Next morning, it worked! You “dub thee Michael!” Ranboo is relieved. There’s a kid living in your house now.

There’s a kid living in his house now. The timeline becomes unclear at this point since I’m still figuring it out. But now that Michael is in the picture Tubbo starts getting worried. He realizes he has no way of protecting him. Maybe the syndicate come visit Snowchester and that shocks him into thinking about the nukes again. And so Tubbo starts throwing himself into projects again. And it starts getting ✨bad ✨

Honestly, It’s been really fun figuring out how Tubbo deteriorates because everything is so internal with him compared to Tommy. It’s obvious with Tommy, you could see him visibly fall apart (think his exile skins, he stops feeding himself, he doesn’t care when he takes damage) But with Tubbo it isn’t so obvious, atleast not right away. Sure his eye bags get darker and he stares off into space for a little too long. But he still looks put together. (Habitable maybe. Or a learned skill.)

Maybe he eventually gets the nukes working but they’re not as successful as he wanted them to be and that guts him. He takes it as another failure. What if he’s just cursed? Is everything he cares about forever doomed to feel like holding water in his hands? What is wrong with him?

I’m gonna share a song and explain this next part using its lyrics because I’m so ILL over it, it’s the most di!tubbo song ever. Throw on …Well, better than the alternative by Will Wood 👍

Tubbo’s feelings towards Michael is complicated… He absolutely loves him to death but he’s really apprehensive about being a dad. He has this fear that he’s going to somehow corrupt Michael and or fail to keep him safe. So he ends up becoming emotionally distant from him and at his worst he gives him up completely to Ranboo.

I think Ranboo and Tubbo get married as a joke at first. But Ranboo continues to love him so unconditionally and honestly and Tubbo catches a crush, which is absolute HELL for him at first sjdhdj. I imagine him being arospec so this crush is a completely new and surprising feeling and he doesn’t know how to handle it. So he doesn’t, and keeps playing it as a joke even as their relationship develops.

Also the repeat of “everybody’s up on everybody’s business” is very fitting for describing the server. There’s things to be developed here I just haven’t yet… I’m just thinking about the possibilities like the egg, the syndicate, las nevadas… hmmm

This song is begging to be made into an animatic because I can imagine Tubbo screaming at Tommy during this part. He was just trying to help the best way he could… yet things still end badly, and everyone ends up hurt… di!clingy oh di!clingy, they’re such a mess. A bitter, angry, grieving mess. Wait ok i wasn’t planning on writing grieving there but then my next thought was “who are they grieving?” EACH OTHER. THEY’RE GRIEVING EACH OTHER. o(-(

Ok that’s it. Phew that was a lot of writing. Here’s some drawings for your time

#distorted illusions #rozu thoughts #I’m so normal about my aus I swear

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furryprovocateur · 2 months

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a natural, inevitable consequence of the rise of therapyspeak is that it teaches us to be more selfish and self-centered in our relationships. article after article, tweet after tweet will say things like "if your friend is traumadumping to you, it's okay to ignore them" or "ghosting someone you made plans with is okay if you felt anxious about it", which, while maybe beneficial to one side of that equation, will ultimately greatly burn the other side and likely result in relationship deterioration. so much of the emphasis has been placed on understanding the self, what emotions we experience, and what situations cause these emotions that we've lost sight of the world around us. we forget to ask things like "oh, my friend is traumadumping, they probably just experienced something really bad and need someone to console them" or "[person] was probably really looking forward to going out with me, i should communicate with them".

this is part of the reason i hated that one post that was like "therapyspeak isn't ruining us, it's just enabling selfish people to be more manipulative" or whatever. unless you think people have always been this level of selfish and borderline callous due to their self-centered nature, it really fails to explain the unique rise of rational adults suddenly becoming indifferent to the wants/needs of those they care about. therapyspeak has taught people that their emotions supersede the emotions of those around them, and we need to resolve our emotional conflicts without doing the icky stuff like confrontation, communication, vocalizing and naming boundaries, etc. why should you have a difficult talk with your bestie about how you feel terrible that their wedding is reminding you of your own personal loneliness and amplifying your depression? why not instead just ghost them, not show up to the wedding, and leave them wondering as to why you suddenly vanished from their life with no warning and were apathetic to one of the most important moments of their life? your emotional wants and needs are more important after all, and you shouldn't even have to consider how someone else in your life would feel in response to your actions.

here, i'll give a personal anecdote as to what i mean. there was an online friend i knew for about six months who i had a good friendship with. out of the blue, without any warning, i was blocked by him, kicked out of his discord server, and given no explanation as to what the reason was. i actually had to text his number and ask "hey, did you do this intentionally? if you did, why?" to get a response. and this response was a long text using therapyspeak-esque logic of "well you and [mutual friend] played a joke on me and you know i'm extremely gullible (this had never been communicated to me btw) so it really hurt my feelings so i chose to prioritize my own feelings and end our relationship". you might be saying "oh wow, well that's just how internet friendships go sometimes" but this was someone who had flown to my house and even admitted to having a crush on me at one point. this was someone who arguably was more invested in our relationship than i was. when did we get to this point? the offense i had committed was. . . lying about being a user on a forum and telling a mutual friend to go along with the lie if asked. and it was only brought up once.

i don't want to diminish the potential harm and pain that my actions caused, but, at the same time, i want to highlight that every reasonable adult out there could likely deduce that this perceived harm would greatly be outweighed by the investment in this relationship and also how much this person seemingly cared about me. and, instead of taking the very reasonable option of doing any of the following: addressing this with me and asking for some type of acknowledgement of harm and subsequent apology, communication of personal boundaries to avoid future harm, informing me of my wrongdoing and still continuing to terminate the relationship, i got ghosted. you could say i wasn't owed any type of explanation, and, maybe, just maybe, you're right. but at the same time, it's emotionally harmful to have someone do that to you. immediately after realizing what had occurred and why, i felt extremely disposable in my friendship with that person, as if i had never truly mattered to them and instead had just been a concept for them to idealize, only to be thrown away when i failed to meet these impossible standards. moreover, it's just generally very bad socialization to be so incapable and unwilling to assert yourself and engage in confrontation with your friends that it's going to likely be a constant issue.

this anecdote is a microcosm of the greater problem i see with socializing in the modern age. with how easy it is to remove people from our lives with no explanation, it suddenly becomes the more tempting option when choosing between that and confrontation, boundary talk, and other interpersonal intimacy topics. and i don't want to say that everyone is obligated to your time and energy or that there's never a warranted block w/no notification (i've done this before in fact!). it's just that culturally, we're becoming more and more self-interested and less invested in the wants/needs of those around us, stranger or friend. by telling ourselves that we owe no one anything, we don't hold ourselves accountable to the social obligations of checking in our friends every now and then ("i don't believe in friendship degradation!" that isn't how the real world works), making sure we communicate when we need certain things from them, and when we need to have conversations about things that are bothering us. we choose instead to prioritize the self, and in that, we lose sight of the world around us.

#long #long post #i was thinking about this while showering

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total-drama-brainrot · 23 days

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why does the mpreg thing spam you with whatever the flying fuck a sleep fairy is

(not hate i just keep seeing it on my dash and i dont understand)

I spent about an hour or so a few nights ago changing Sharky's nickname on the intern discord server to try and convince him to sleep, since it was around 6-7am at the time and he's just a wee little lad who needs his rest, and the bit kind of deteriorated when they asked who I was and I answered with "The sleep fairy." In my defence, I had been awake a solid 40-ish hours at the time.

He stayed up super late the next night, so I tried using the same bit to convince him to sleep. It... didn't work. This kid has a worse sleep schedule than me and I work nights. Very concerning.

And, perhaps, I may have messed with anyone else witnessing the phenomenon. It was funny, what can I say?

Ever since Sharky's been adamant that he's going to capture the sleep fairy. I'm not sure how I feel about this but he can fucking try.

Pretty much everyone know it's me despite the fact that I've been denying it. Unless Sharky really is oblivious, in which case... oops?

Essentially the "sleep fairy" is me attempting to gentle parent Sharky into practicing some semblance of self care. To disastrous results. I'm... not a very good parent, apparently.

#love how sharky is just “the mpreg thing” now #in “canon” i imagine this is just my intern self speaking to intern sharky through the walls or something.#also consider this me retiring the bit. i'm not staying up until 8am again just to NOT get sharky to sleep.#also i'm not sorry for calling scribble the onceler. he deserved it.#internposting #the mpreg thing #replies

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proudfreakmetarusonniku · 1 year

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Something I find fascinating about the finale is that c!Dream is utterly wrong. I don’t mean that in a moral sense (that’s obvious enough he’s talking about what’s essentially mass human experimentation on unwilling participants), I mean that in he’s factually incorrect. When he tries to blame c!Tommy for things, it’s either things he had partial and often even not a central role in (both he and c!Sapnap attacked him and stole his stuff, while c!Wilbur was the one to found L’Manberg) or things he didn’t do (the time Ponk’s tree burnt that he’s specifically referencing? c!Sapnap did that one. c!Tommy has done it too, I believe, but so has half the server, and the specific incident that sparked conflict involved c!Sapnap).

Because, the thing is, it didn’t matter what c!Tommy did. His purpose is the scapegoat. A reason that c!Dream can use to desperately deny fault for his own loneliness, his own misery. He can justify his paranoia leading him to hurting and pushing away everyone who was once close to him, being the one who prevents him from reaching his own happiness. He can find a way to excuse even the worst, cruellest actions as teaching a lesson, as protecting others, as protecting himself. What c!Tommy ever actually did in those scenarios is irrelevant, because c!Dream isn’t blaming him for any rational reason. He’s blaming him so he can avoid blaming himself.

And, the thing is, it’s not even because he hates c!Tommy. Quite the opposite, really. We’ve seen how he treats people he hates, and it’s remarkably different to how he is with c!Tommy. Because c!Tommy and c!Dream used to be friends, after all. Close ones, too, close enough that c!Dream would give him valuables without question in Pogtopia, and a note to try and convince him that he’s not that bad. Close enough that c!Dream’s betrayal hurt c!Tommy deeply- after all, he looked up to him.

No, he goes after c!Tommy for the same reason he does everything- a desperate, twisted desire to not be alone. When his friendships deteriorated in front of his eyes, that’s when he conditioned and abused c!Tommy into complete and utter dependence, into a fucked up form of friendship more like ownership, and I don’t think this is a coincidence at all. What c!Dream wanted was to never, ever be alone again, and if he felt like any sort of reasonable methods had failed, he’d make his own friend. One that couldn’t leave him. One that’d be too afraid to try. c!Tommy would have never betrayed him, he’d have never went against any of c!Dream’s plans.

He’d understand him.

After all, to c!Dream, the reason he keeps others at arms length isn’t out of hatred or indifference. It’s out of love and out of fear. He’s paranoid to show weakness, and paranoid to have any. Any friend is someone who can stab him in the back, and someone who can be used against him. And what was Exile if not showing c!Tommy how easily that could happen to him too? The isolation wasn’t simply to make him easier to control- it was the point. In a fucked up way, maybe c!Dream even saw it as kindness.

And then c!Tommy left anyway. Despite everything, he’d been left by another friend, one he had what could possibly be called a twisted sense of trust in. And of course, since c!Tommy is the scapegoat, it’s all his fault. Nothing c!Dream did in Exile could be that bad, right? It was just punishment, it was just rehabilitation. The rush of having that power is incidental. The alleviation of that hole in his heart must be something else, something unrelated.

I think it’s significant that after this, c!Dream played the revival card so heavily towards c!Tommy. It was both something he knew he’d fear, something he knew would torment him which he felt like he deserved, but in a way I think it was also an offer. If c!Tommy had shown understanding, shown that he’d be willing to work alongside him and c!Punz in immortality, c!Dream would have taken him up on that.

And that’s the reason why c!Dream changed so quickly in the finale. If it was c!Tubbo, he wouldn’t have listened. If it was anyone but c!Tommy, he wouldn’t have listened, even the people he cares about. Because to him, they’re misguided, lead astray. But c!Tommy… assigning him the weight of the server’s ills on his shoulder also means he’s assigned legitimacy, and, well, trauma bonds work both ways. In hurting c!Tommy, he’d doomed himself into developing as much of an unhealthy, toxic trust in him as he’d gotten to happen the other way round.

It wasn’t pure understanding that did it. c!Tommy’s offered that a million times over. He’s offered kindness and empathy, and before c!Dream only repaid it in cruelty. But what c!Tommy offered was what he’d desperately wanted all along, and if he’d placed the blame onto c!Tommy… wouldn’t that mean he was the only one in the way? It’s not that he even cares about being a better person, I don’t think he’s even worked through the fact he’s done the worst of his actions yet, but pragmatically, it’s an offer of everything he wanted. One that, if he denied it, he’d have to come to terms with the fact that his suffering was all his fault.

It wasn’t too late when the bombs dropped. c!Dream was doomed the second he assigned blame onto c!Tommy, because that also assigned him power.

#dream smp #dsmp #dsmp analysis #dream smp analysis #primeboys (derogatory)#c!discduo #c!primeboys #tw abuse #tw obsession #tw possessive behaviour

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mugzymiik · 3 months

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vent/rant

cw for mention of grooming + brief emetophobia

im going to fucking maul somebody i swear to GOD /neg. i shouldn't even be THINKING about going back to him, he fucking groomed somebody. sent a FUCKING 14 YEAR OLD shit that shouldn't EVER be sent to a 14 YEAR OLD, PERIOD. caused their mental health to deteriorate, my god there's so much. i feel like i'm going to fucking vomit.

i get so anxious even just THINKING about him. he knows EVERYTHING about me. my full name, my age, hell even my general living area. ive sent him my face once or twice. he could doxx me if he really wanted to.

he's used a different twitter account, hell possibly even MULTIPLE, to look at the posts of the person he GROOMED. HE REPLIED TO ONE OF MY TWITTER POSTS USING A FUCKING ALT ACCOUNT. IM TAKING A BIG FUCKING RISK EVEN POSTING THIS HERE. HE COULD SEE THIS. IM FUCKING TERRIFIED.

I FUCKING HATE HIM. WE WERE IN A CO-DEPENDENT RELATIONSHIP, I FELT PHYSICAL FEAR WHENEVER I EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT HIM AROUND THE END.

I SHOULDN'T BE THINKING ABOUT TRYING TO BE HIS FRIEND AGAIN, EVER. IM A CLINGY FUCKER. HE'S PROBABLY EXPECTING ME TO TRY TO COME BACK. I SHARED SO FUCKING MUCH WITH HIM IM FUCKING TERRIFIED.

IT WAS TO THE POINT WHERE I WAS SHAKING AND TRYING TO LEAVE EVERY SERVER I SHARED WITH HIM AND UNFRIEND ALL OF OUR MUTUAL FRIENDS AS FAST AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE WHEN I BLOCKED HIM. MY HEART WAS FUCKING RACING.

I HATE HIM. I FUCKING HATE HIM. I SAW HIM AS THE OLDER BROTHER I NEVER HAD.

#vent post

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anachronistic-falsehood · 1 year

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SENDING THIS TO U BEFORE I FORGET FEEL FREE TO ANSWER WHENEVER U FEEL LIKE IT <3 talk 2 me about dstuck sam thief of heart and ponk sylph of mind the floor is yours king

OUGHGUGHH. OK. ALRIGHT. OK. UYEAH

okkk alright. csam. VERY heart player negative class vibes for me. like he’s more dirk strider than cwilbur is to me tbh he’s SOOOOO self obsessed but also hates himself. he’s surrounded by himself and reminders of himself constantly and it’s all self inflicted. he has all these different identities so he doesn’t have to face himself. the hotel and sam nook. the prison and the warden. the egg and sam bucket. he hates himself but he just doesn’t want to show it.

thieves wear figurative masks. meenah is a BADASS COOL GIRL!! and vriska?? i mean *gestures vaguely* LOOK at her. feelings?? what are those!!! thieves also have a self imposed lack of their own aspect, or at least feel like they do when they actually could have an abundance of it if they tried: meenah killed herself and the other dancestors, ridding themselves of their lives, and vriska insists that she’s the most unlucky person ever when actually!! most of her “8ad luck” is a result of her own actions!!! IT’S ALWAYS SELF IMPOSED!!! Sam brought ALL OF THIS on HIMSELF! he invested himself in the role of Warden and as a result did horrible things that he normally wouldn’t have done if he just remained as AweSamDude, your friendly neighborhood redstone guy!! (putting the rest under a cut bc SURPRISE!! this is getting long)

ok. Heart players. now the heart aspect has been very dirk-ified in canon so it’s easy to ignore the opposite end of the spectrum, which is represented by the Leijons. they’re very positive!! while they both have negative classes, Meulin with one that leads to a lack of the aspect in the player themself, and Nepeta with a reallocating class (takes and gives, so rogue or thief) but the way they handle these classes is so different. mages and rogues kind of provide others with their aspect in many ways. thieves…. don’t. thieves are black holes. they suck up their aspect and leave nothing behind in return. which can be good if you’re a thief of doom of something!! but a thief of heart??? girl you’re hurting everyone around you and it’s so so tragic.

and yet sam (and dirk!! and cwilbur!!!) still reflects some qualities of the leijons. he cares. he cares so so so much. the difference is that nep and meulin don’t let their hearts consume them. they work in tandem with their aspect. thieves and princes and bards don’t. they CAN’T. and that’s what differentiates a thief from a rogue. rogues give their aspects to other people and use their aspect for the benefit of others. thieves see their own detriment of their aspect and hoard it, never using it, never giving it away, until they’re buckling under the weight. for a thief of heart, they bear the weight of every single action they’ve done and take it to heart, convince themself that they’ve either a) done something so amazing and they’re the MOST WONDERFUL THING ON THE PLANET and become so self centred they end up tearing apart their session, or b) done something so terrible, so unforgiving, that they can’t possibly be anything but an irredeemable monster. that’s Sam. he can never redeem himself, so he might as well lean into the awful things he’s done, right? might as well play the villain. because if he can’t be good, what else is he supposed to be???

ALRIGHT. CPonk my cponk <3 sylph of mind. yeah i picked sylph because of the fact that they’re canonically a doctor and that is SUCH A SYLPH THING TO DO!!! going out of their way to become the only person on the server who can help heal people should the need arise!!! sylphs fix things, that’s their whole schtick. they help, they heal, they fix. Ponk was one of the last people on Schlatt’s side in Manberg. they were so determined to help fix it and take care of Schlatt’s deteriorating health. sylphs are LITERALLY the definition of “i can fix him” IT’S INSANE. babygirl you’re trying your best but it’s at the determinant of yourself TAKE A BREAK!!!

“but WHISKEY wasn’t cpuffy a therapist?? why isn’t she a sylph???” I HEAR YOU!! but guess what?? Puffy knew when to quit. she shut down the therapuffy office because no one was using it anymore. she never saw much success from it from the get go. She focused her efforts on protection and defence instead of healing and help. Ponk stuck with it. And Ponk stuck with Sam, after everything. They confronted him multiple times about what happened between them but they still hung out with him. They still talked to him. They still cared, despite everything. They never stopped trying to make Sam see the error of his ways. They never stop trying to fix him, even when Sam insisted that the only way for him to atone for his actions would be for him to die. (Idk how much of Ponk’s lore you’ve seen, but there’s a scene after the prison breakout when Ponk confronts Sam again and Sam puts a sword in Ponk’s hands and tells them to kill him and Ponk refuses IT DRIVES ME INSANE. HI. THE TRAGEDY OF AWESAMPONK. AUGHHHH). Sylphs help others to their own detriment, Kanaya trying to auspisticize between anyone and everyone even though it hurt her, and Aranea trying to fix the timeline and accidentally sending it all up in flames.

MIND PLAYER. MIND PLAYER PONK. Ponk’s aspect ties in soooo well with their class. Mind players revolve around the consequences of the choices of people around them. Basically KARMA IS A BITCH AND HER NAME IS CPONK BABEYYY!!! Remember the fuckign banquet. That was cponk’s justice in a lot of ways. In a server that beat them down and hurt them when they tried to help, this was them trying to stand up and take something back, even if it was motivated by the egg. But still, they didn’t kill anyone. That’s the difference between a sylph and a seer, i think. Terezi killed Vriska because she Vriska hurt people, and she foresaw that Vriska would continue to hurt people. Sam’s actions hurt so many people, including himself, but Ponk tried to help him, and even their revenge ended up being nothing more than a scare that lead to the death of a person who hadn’t even wronged them, and they weren’t the one who brought down the blade anyway. Yes, Kanaya killed, but it was in defence. Sylphs rarely seem to kill for revenge purposes

Ponk is more often than not an observer. They stand by and watch people’s actions play out and. witness the consequences, and then step in when things get dicey. Ponk got their arm cut off trying to find out more about the prison, the corruption behind it and the way it functioned. They could tell Sam was getting consumed by the prison and his role as the Warden. it cost them a life but they were trying to dig into a suspicious corrupt system to help someone they cared about. A Sylph of Mind tracks the results of other people’s actions and tries to fix them. They try to build up the damage from its broken pieces, even if the shards cut their own hands.

#dreamstuck #whiskeys word soup #dsmp #dream smp #YEAH. ANYWAY #honestly that one scene after the prison break is soooooo insane to me. it’s almost trimax vashwood-esque in its vibes tbh #AWESAMPONK YOU DRIVE ME INSANEEEEEEE #THANK U MAC FOR LETTING ME RANT ABT THIS <33333 #mcyt classpects

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b-i-t-c-h-y-m-u-g-g-l-e · 27 days

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Witchy things:

Trying to get my kid a beginner's book on sea witchcraft since they feel a strong connection to the sea (while I feel a strong connection to the mountains).

They're excited about it since now that they're older they can explore more.

So they'll be able to be a solo practitioner and won't need me supervising anymore since they're a completely different branch of craft from me. (Although I'll still teach them tarot and dream definitions and neutral things like stones, incense and oils, natural remedies. I already taught them how to make cough syrup with witch hazel, honey and anis. Stuff clears up your lungs during the cold months and I've given it to them before so they know it works. 🤣 though it takes like absolute crap. They don't like all the ginger remedies cos they don't like the strong taste of ginger though (stuff is good for the immune system especially when sick but Luthian HATES ginger in their foods. They like all spices but hate that one 😔)

It's a good thing too... with my illness and all... Luthian needs to know a lot of things to advance forward not just in our religious beliefs but in all aspects of life on their own.

Ugh my head hurts though... tomorrow I have chemo and I'm NOT looking forward to it. I feel so dang terrible afterwards.

Gonna take stuff in my backpack to avoid being a messy bitch. I DON'T want servere gastritis with dehydration and diarrhea again.

I ended up hospitalized after my first treatment (8 days). Shit is hell. Like chemotherapy sucks ass and I'm not even making light of this shit. I hated it. Radiotherapy was a breeze, but actual chemo?

Evil.

Went through past readings... fucking cards had warned me of my failing health for the past 4 years. I feel so stupid ignoring that 4 of swords... now I've got the King of Swords for my future which, when it comes to a health related reading, could mean potential future surgery.

I also got the death, devil and moon cards from readings years ago (this is why Journaling your own readings is so important). Explains the depression and starting anew. Those cards have come to pass.

Dreams change whenever I decide to self reflect and change. Used to have rather depressing dreams with symbolism regarding death and deterioration but once i chose to stop being mopey... my dreams have brighter meanings of "new life", "fulfillment" and the dilapidated house representing my subconscious is now a sparkling mansion with large rooms that have high ceilings, wide open spaces, everything is new...

Weird how when you change your mindset your entire psyche resets itself subconsciously like that. One night everything looks like hell and then the next... brand new and hopefully. Like a billionaire's house.

I would have liked more antiques since I'm a collector but my spiritual house in my dreams was still pretty nice.

The rooms are as big as basketball courts though and Idk 😅.

I'm more into cute cottages with warm stone fireplaces but apparently my subconscious likes me in a posh super modern environment rather than my cottagecore cozy fantasies.

I did like the woods outside the large windows and the abundance of sunlight and silence.

That's something that suits my taste.

Luthian described the house they kept dreaming of and it sounded Victorian.

Lucky.

#personal

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fluffallamaful · 1 year

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Someone on Dreblr pointed out that Dream wasn’t just reluctant to kill people: he ACTIVELY worked to keep them alive, even when he FORGOT WHY HE WANTED TO DO THAT. He was successfully blackmailed by Wilbur via the threat of suicide. He went to defend Aimsey against Sapnap and George even though they were once his best friends and he had no idea who she was. (He didn’t realize that they were already low on health thanks to Foolish.) He killed Sam ONCE, and then he let him go. He could have killed Tommy just to get him out of his hair at any point, and he DIDN’T. He went out of his way to stage ELABORATE FAKE DEATHTRAPS instead of just bopping him on the head and being done with it. He wanted to eliminate death for EVERYONE, even after he forgot why he wanted to do that. He loved them so much that it stuck around even after he buried it so deep he forgot about it, and it stayed his main motivation to the point he had to make up absolute bullshit about “becoming God” (I know it’s bullshit because he used it as a way to throw Tommy off his scent before he went off the deep end entirely) to justify why he wanted to do ANY of this, because he just COULDN’T GIVE UP. Love stayed as such an integral part of him even after what Punz referred to as “Hell in a box.” Even as his mental and physical state deteriorated to the point that it showed in the walls of what was supposed to be an impenetrable fortress. He instructed Sam to make visitors a must, because raw potatoes were fine and no sunlight was fine and being kept under constant surveillance in a tiny-ass cell was fine but being isolated from everyone was SOMEHOW the one thing this guy thought would be unbearable. (And yet almost nobody wanted to visit him, and basically nobody went twice except for those who actively hated him.) There’s not really any solid proof on this, but I’ll bet you that he didn’t even want to take Quackity’s final life, that he would have been satisfied by taking his second and making a good enough show of it, because Sam’s betrayal was infinitely worse (that was his BROTHER) and he STILL kept him alive. The whole server hated him until the very end. “I don’t want to be alone.”

He’s fascinating. He’s so fucked up. He’s a perfect subversion of the powered-by-love protagonist of so many children’s stories. He makes me so sad. Please help. I want to hug him so bad. ;-;

ahhhhhh it’s so cool what people notice!!! i think that dream feared the idea of losing all his canon lives so much that the idea of taking someone else’s final life would be far too confronting

i think also that the wilbur thing was interesting because i think it would have caught him off guard? wilbur always had a knack for seeing straight through dreams scary facade. because in reality dream could have just revived wilbur if wilbur had died. but maybe he was too caught off guard to realise that? or made he thought that keeping wilbur alive would somehow still give him the illusion that he held some kind of vantage over tommys head.

he is indeed so fascinating :((

#llama asks #soup the destroyer #lore with llama

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thoughts-and-all-that · 2 years

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why are you such a fucking bitch. fuck you with your fucking 'i dont give a fuck that you got rightfully mad that some teenage brat is calling your existence a joke so you called him a brat for, yknow, BEING A BRAT'. why the fuck do i always have to be the bigger person. im sick of being the bigger person.

im on my last strings with this group idefc man. if i get demoted or smthn like this happens one more time. i dont even care ill just leave. what the fuck is one more restart on my pile of dozens. these people are barely close to me anyway. not like theyll fucking care. and itll just end up being one more group of people who hate me in the end. not unusual.

im only really friends with like, one or two of them, but also not really. when was the last time we played a game together, VCd together, any of that? its been forever. i could join the vc anytime but theyre always playing shit idc about and talking about shit idc about. why cant i ever be what i care about. why not ask to play the game they know i love. even just for an hour or two.

i know im always forcing others to prove they care about me without me even telling them thats what im doing but like... they dont really prove it much. theyll hit me up if i go silent and then i come back and the cycle repeats

its always like this. why cant i just find the place where i truly connect with people and everything is just fine. why is it always something.

all i wanna fucking do is play minecraft and talk about whatever dorky kids show/movie im obsessing over this time. why is that so hard.

maybe its me, but like, im literally so fucking chill if people arent being stupid, but they get stupid so much.

at this point im fucking holding back from leaving that server. a year and a half down the drain just like that. its always a year and a half or less. i guess i just cant handle long term relationships.

my only real friend is a fucking stuffed animal. i think if i got one wish in this world, id be selfish and wish she were real. just the way i imagine her and everything. why should anyone else get my wish when all of them disappoint and hurt me time and time again. she would never hurt me.

maybe im just destined to be alone. too bad for that destiny that i desperately grasp onto what little connection i hold to humanity left.

maybe i do need to go to a mental hospital finally. ill give it a week before i make that choice. i need to at least get my new glasses in 6 days anyway.

i just feel my brain deteriorating and i cant do much about that i think.

ill just suffer like always.

i dont care if im being selfish. i think ive earned it after a lifetime of never getting what i want. what i truly want.

cause instead i was born into a family of people i wouldnt otherwise interact with ever, in a town full of people that never cared about me, especially not the way i tried to care about them, in a body thats not mine. in a life thats not mine.

i feel as if i were misplaced at birth. misplaced nonphysically. like i was meant to be somewhere else, somewhere right, and something went wrong. and the universe just never corrected itself. it left me here.

there wasnt a point to this post. im just sick of feeling all these things and having nowhere to say them. i cant let people i know hear me say shit like this. its not like theyd listen anyway.

i wish i wasnt broke so i could get a stupid fucking therapist already. i wish preventing myself from wanting to die and hate myself and hate the world wasnt so unaffordable.

anyway haha mental illness moment woahagagahshhhaoahah so funni wild wowza woooo

#vent #dont ignore me #personal

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unfoundhoney · 3 years

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a sister’s sacrifice ; part two ↠

↠ platonic!c!sleepy bois inc x fem!reader , platonic!c!tubbo x fem!reader ; angst with a minuscule amount of fluff

↠ masterlist

↠ part one ; part two ; part three ;

↠ @leafyturtle @basheverythingyesterday @terribletoothbat

after all is said and done

after l’manberg is left half-ruined but still breathing

after techno runs off

after tommy and tubbo take seats in the cabinet

after wilbur has been killed by phil

after it all, you leave

you leave l’manberg & the rest of the server & refuse to pick a side

you move to a dark oak forest & build a little cottage for yourself hidden among the trees

you’re tired

you’re so so tired of everything & you just want to be at peace

of course, you could never fully leave everything

you’re still visited by your brothers (those that are left) & your friends

you help niki with her flower shop & various other building projects

you remain out of any political affairs tommy & tubbo are involved in

but you still spend most of your time alone in the woods

you’re content living like this

are you happy with the way your life has turned out?

god no

but you can live with being content

& then ghostbur shows up

(ghostbur) hello! are you the y/n phil keeps talking about?

you wanna talk about trauma?

let’s talk about being approached out of nowhere in the middle of the woods while mushroom hunting by your DEAD BROTHER and a blue sheep on a leash

what the f u c

(you, bewildered) ...will?

(ghostbur) i’m not wilbur. not the one you knew. i’m ghostbur! are you y/n? you look like phil described & i haven’t managed to find any other houses hidden in the dark oak forest.

this is... great

ghostbur becomes quite attached to you

will had distanced himself while living in pogtopia as his mental state deteriorated

it seems ghostbur is fulfilling the closeness alivebur wishes to have had maintained with you

.......

cool

this is fine

it’s totally fine

ghostbur visits you often

even though you know it’s not really your wilbur, it’s nice in some odd way to have a version of wilbur still around

it’s through ghostbur that you learn of tommy’s exile, long after it had happened

it seems no one wanted a protective mama bear y/n sent after them, so during your brief visits to the main residential areas, talk of tommy’s exile was conventiently never a conversation piece

you just figured he was busy or distracted or avoiding you like a moody teen

then ghostbur hands you a small letter one day

(you) what’s this?

(ghostbur) it’s an invitation to tommy’s beach party. he’s been quite lonely in exile

(you) quite lonely in what now

ghostbur fills you in as best as his little ghost brain can on what’s happened with tommy & burning down geroge’s house & tubbo exiling him

what do you mEAN TUBBO EXILED TOMMY????

WTFFFFF??????!!!

CAN YOU GET A BREAK????!!!?!?!?

WHAT ARE THESE IDIOT CHILDREN DOING

you’re the only person to get an invite

you watch from afar, wary of approaching your youngest brother with dream so close

you wait for dream to leave before going to him

(you) tommy?

(tommy) ...y/n!

you catch him in a hug without hesitation

(tommy) i knew you’d come

(you) tommy, i’m so sorry. i had no idea you’d even been exiled or i would have visited you immediately-... are you okay?

tommy is so....

he’s so.......

worn down

his clothes are torn & dirty, he has bags under his eyes

he’s thinner than he used to be, which is very concerning as he’s always been a bit of a walking stick

he just looks so tired

the usual fire that burns behind his eyes whether in anger or mischief or just happiness is nonexistent

(tommy) what?

(you) are you okay? i’d been worried because i hadn’t seen you around and- god, i’m so sorry. i should’ve looked for you or asked about you but i just assumed and now this and-... tom?

tommy just starts crying

because he thought you’d stopped caring about him too

he thought everyone stopped caring about him

but you’re here & you’re concerned & you’re as caring as usual

he buries his face in your shoulder & just cries his little heart out

you hold him and pet his hair and just let him cry

(you) tommy

(tommy) yeah?

(you) come home with me

(tommy) what?

(you) come home with me. you can live with me for the time being & we’ll get this sorted out, okay?

you’d seen how manipulative dream was being even in the short time you’d watched him & your brother, so it takes some convincing but soon tommy has packed his things & is heading out with you back to your home in the dark oak forest

you spend a while nursing him back to health, both physically & mentally

it’s truly heartbreaking having to recondition him out of the dependent mindset on dream

it also pisses you the fuck off but you focus your energy on tommy, not on revenge

tommy tries many times to convince you to come back

to go back to l’manberg & “plant the seed of rebellion”

which wasn’t even call for an actual rebellion, just that you could go back & raise hell about your littlest brother being exiled & demand he be allowed back

but time & time again you refuse

you are content staying away from everything & remaining out of conflict

tommy is very much not

so you lead him to techno’s new home

(you) don’t cause too much trouble for him

(tommy) he blew up l’manberg!

(you) wilbur blew up l’manberg. techno just tried to kill the government

you leave him there & head back home

do you get a moderately angry visit a few days later from techno, who eventually agrees to helping tommy upon your asking?

possibly

you’re not present when tommy & techno sneak onto the smp

you’re not there when tommy & tubbo fight

or during the doomsday war when techno, phil, & dream lay waste to l’manberg once and for all

you’re aware, yes

you’re around, you’re in the know

you just remain out of conflict & out of sight

you’re also not there to say goodbye to tommy & tubbo as they head off for their final battle with dream

that little tidbit you weren’t caught up on, too busy wallowing in your own self misery & crying over your broken family

but ghostbur comes to visit that day

(ghostbur) hello, y/n!

(you) hello, ghostbur. it’s nice to see you

(ghostbur) you, as well! would you like some blue

(you) no. thank you.

(ghostbur) i sure do hope tommy & tubbo come back alright

(you) come back from what?

you were expecting “a trip to the nether,” “a journey to a new woodland mansion,” “a search for sunken ships”

instead, you get:

(ghostbur) their final battle with dream. they set off not too long ago

(you) ........if you’ll excuse me

you head off immediately, tracking tommy & tubbo despite all odds

you do not care, those are your brothers & they are not dying on your watch to dream of all people

they may have been told it’s a battle

they may think they have a chance

but this is dream we’re talking about

you know a trap when you see one

you climb up the mountainside as stealthily as possible

you arrive just in time to hear tubbo’s screams as he is cornered and killed by dream, losing his second canon life

tommy seems to be beat into submission as dream threatens to kill tubbo a final time, who respawns defenseless without any of his items

dreams leads them down into the mountain, villain monologuing the whole way

dramatic bitch

you jump down after them, tired of hearing him threaten your brothers

(you) i think you’ve said enough, dream

(dream) there you are. i was beginning to wonder when mama bear would show up

you put yourself between dream and your brothers

(you) you won’t hurt them anymore. i’m taking them & we’re leaving

(dream) i don’t think that’s up to you, y/n

(you) we’ll see

you take the first swing at dream, landing a clean hack at his shoulder with your axe

but again

this is dream we’re talking about

you’ve never been the most talented fighter & dream is second only to technoblade

i.e. you never stood a chance

but all reason went out the window when it comes to saving your brothers

soon you’re backed against a wall, dream’s axe at your throat

(dream) well this was a waste of time

(you) you’re a monster

(dream) thanks

(you) you think distancing yourself from everyone & everything will work? trust me, it doesn’t. it doesn’t matter how far away you move or how much you push those you love away, those feelings will always be there

dream considers you for a moment

you hope he at least has no satisfaction as you stare back in defiance

you’re unafraid; coming down here was a death sentence & yet you still jumped in headfirst

(dream) maybe for someone like you. but i’m not like you. i don’t care about anything or anyone on this server. i’m not burdened by attachment & i will never be again.

(you) i pity you, dream

(dream) pity me in hell

dreams draws his arm back & swings his axe down

you will lose your final canon life to dream, for your brothers

it’s always for your brothers

as much as you think you should hate them, hate everyone for everything that has happened to you

you can’t

they’re your family

you’ll love them infinitely

tubbo gasps in shock & tommy gives a yell of protest

you know they love you, too

you close your eyes

dream’s axe meets your neck

and you’re gone

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killmebythebeach · 3 years

Text

A bunch of head cannons (Maybe too much). Also in talking about the characters.

I think Dream is that one design where his skin is just the static tv screen. He just constantly emits that fuzzy noise, Sam crafted him the smile mask that he can see through so he doesn't scare people.

George is just kind of the server itself. He's the same species as Hannah, but a mushroom and more powerful. If he stays awake too long, the server just kind of freezes. This is also a reason XD keeps him sleeping, it's his way of talking to George and he thinks the server is like his soap opera of mortals.

Callahan is sort of like the person who makes sure George doesn't get killed or dies while asleep, making sure he's surrounded by mushrooms and such. Deer hybrid <3

Alyssa joined the server because she knew all her friends were idiots and didn't want them to die immediately. But once the elections rolled around, she felt the pressure of choosing sides and ran away to the desert, only keeping contact with Ponk. She actually lives just a couple miles from Foolish's summer home. Her communicator actually died after a couple months and she had no way of charging it, so she lost contact with everyone.

Sapnap is a magma cube hybrid and can jump higher than most, his natural temperature runs hotter, and is fire proof. Bad found him in the nether when he was maybe 10-15 years old.

Sam was actually a normal creeper, but gained player like sentience from being struck by lightning. Instead of becoming charged, he gained intelligence and met the others on the server. Callahan taught him some Redstone, but from there he figured out a lot on his own. He's also a creeper centaur.

Ponk is actually a descendant of a fairy, a lemon tree. Their mask was also a gift from Sam because after the second or third time their tree was burnt, their immune system was weakened a considerable amount. Alyssa also wore her mask for them.

Bad is a size shifting demon from the nether, more specifically soul sand desert. He uses soul fire to gain strength, so because the egg died when near it, he was just a little weaker than normal. Because he's a demon he needs a tie to the overworld to stay there, he tied his soul and lives to Skeppy.

Tommy was grown in a lab to be a hero, project: THESEUS. The lab gave him small enhancements, like slightly stronger and just a bit more resilient, to make the Above Average Boy (TM). He then ran away to meet Wilbur. When Dream asked Wilbur if he wanted to come to the server, he asked if Tommy could go first to see what it was like. He also actually really likes gardening and making up funny songs to Wilbur playing guitar. He also made funny lyrics for his discs, but he's still a bit scared to take them out of his ender chest. Other than bringing attachment, Dream also exiled Tommy to see what his lab enhancements could do.

Tubbo is an adaptive hybrid! His hair was blond, shifting to brown when Wilbur found him, getting blue eyes from Tommy, growing small horns under Schlatt, parts of his skin being static when Dream was "helping" him with his presidency, and parts of his scars tinging black and green from Ranboo and Micheal. Tubbo also helped Wilbur write part of the anthem. He likes living in the snow because the Manberg flag had magma blocks on it, casting a heatwave over the country, and after L'Manburg blew up it got really hot from the exposed stone in direct sun.

Fundy can actually hold his breath for a very long time and swim very well because of Sally teaching him and his salmon genes. The yellow things on his hat are actually shells, and the stripes on his jacket are trans colors. Also with his dreams, he saw Eret was going to betray them but didn't think it was real, or didn't want to. He also saw Wilbur blow up L'Manburg but chose not to believe it, thinking his father could still be saved. He actually saw pretty much everything, but didn't quite understand what they were until after doomsday.

The necklace Punz wears is one of those picture lockets, but he lost the picture and can't remember what it was. The first time Dream paid him was when Dream asked for help and Punz made an off hand joke about getting money, and then Dream thought he was being serious. Him, Dream, and Sapnap were like brothers, and Punz got sadder every time he saw Dream pushing people away and diving deeper into darkness.

Purpled is an aliensent to see if the planet was colonizable, but then crashed and was stranded, all his communications down and his ship barely able to hover fifty feet off the ground. When Quackity blew it up, he essentially got rid of his chance of ever going home. Purpled's species can shapeshift, so he turned himself into the first person he saw, Punz. Eventually before trying to communicate with the native life forms, he edited his form a little so they weren't identical, keeping purple eyes and antennae, changing the colors slightly, and changing the voice up. When he moves away from the main SMP, Ponk makes sure to check up on him and that he has a way to check his communicator.

Wilbur came a month after sending Tommy. His father being a patron of life and his mother the goddess of death, he met in the middle being born as a human. The only reason Ghostbur was as active and present as he was was because he was so connected to both life and death. Since his corpse was decaying for as long as it was, Wilbur is now super weak, his flesh is thin and his eyes are rotted and gone. Much like Ghostbur, Wilbur in limbo saw what people said about him, and Ghostbur could hear that from the back of his head. Now Wilbur can hear what people say about Ghostbur and he hates it, not wanting to be connected to what he thinks like a shell of himself.

Schlatt is a ram (duh) and actually does the fainting goat thing. So when he died of a heart attack, no one knew at first if he was actually dead or not. His alcoholism stems from the revive book, as the possibility of tampering with death made him existential and scared, so to cope he drank. There are also a ton of other stuff other than revival in the book, but it's in galactic.

Skeppy was just a normal human, but after making the pact with Bad, Bad put a spell on him. Parts of him turned into diamond, protecting both his and Bad's lives. He however, is unaware of this. With the egg, he would just sit on it, the diamonds chipping away to make room for the vines.

Eret was cursed by the Wither Cult, giving them white eyes and a slowly deteriorating memory. Not sure what to do, Foolish dropped them off at the SMP. Sometimes they would dream about old memories from before the curse, but it was just glimpses so he could never tell what they meant. Once they were king, they made the Herobrine shrine subconsciously, not really sure what it was after. They also had a strange affinity of beacons and resurrection, some of their memories resurfacing when they tried to help Phil and Ghostbur revive Wilbur after doomsday. The reason people are more scared of their eyes than any other wierd eyes was because he generally looks like a normal human, but the wither along with their Herobrine origins creates an uncanny valley that people are shocked by.

Jack had red and blue irises before crawling out of hell, but after coming back the whites of his eyes also turned red and blue. He always wears 3d glasses so no one noticed, but he just thought no one cared enough to mention it. He also has a bunch of scars and burn marks that no one but him can see, therefore no one asks about them or thinks something is wrong, cementing the idea that no one cares about him.

Niki is a blaze hybrid (stole this from @/420technoblazeit) whose fire hair color changes based on strong emotion, something she bond with Tubbo for as a fellow shifter. A soft yellow in L'Manburg, brighter orange in Manburg, hot pink on Doomsday, a soul fire blue with the syndicate (which Techno hates), and a dead grey when she found out Wilbur was alive. She was also old child hood friends with Ranboo and Eret, leaving Ranboo for the SMP. Ranboo, unfortunatly, doesn't remember much more than her name. She also knows galactic from Ranboo, so she talks about her troubles to Shy the Enderman. She doesn't really know how to talk to Puffy anymore after Doomsday or finding out how she wants to protect Tommy.

Quackity can perfectly replicate someone's voice and, with a lot of effort, can completely change his form to another player. He also has very small yellow wings, too small to fly, so he almost always hides them. He used to constantly change his voice for jokes with Karl, Sapnap, and George, but he doesn't like doing it now in Las Nevadas, as he sees it as unprofessional. However, sometimes he uses when he visits Dream, changing his voice to people like George and Sapnap to make torture more effective.

In the In Between and Other Side, Karl actually looks like his old skin, or his natural state (the big purple one that inspired his sweater). But most of the time in the normal world, he looks human. With effort he can bring out the interdemential being thing, something only Quackity and Sapnap know about. The more he time travels, the easier it becomes to change, and he's even started defaulting to the other form.

HBomb is actually just a normal news reporter, sent to interview and record what's going on in the server, his first big story being the election. Upon Doomsday, the stress of seeing everyone alone, fighting, and disconnected, he ran away from the world, essentially becoming a cat lady. His undercover reporter persona is actually the cat maid. He eventually came back to the server to see how he could help after Doomsday, befriending Niki again and living with her in the underground city.

Techno is a piglin, so he's scared of soul fire. He forgot to tell Phil before he decorated the syndicate room, so he just suffers in silence. He also does better when around a lot of gold, like in the nether, and he feels drained and slightly weaker without it. Instead of just putting gold around the area (it would ruin his property value), he just hibernates. He has an emerald earing, like all of the syndicate, but his is a locket that unfolds into pictures of the syndicate.

Ant always wears a red hoodie, now ruined by the egg, that used to be Red's. On Red's death anniversary, him, Bad, Skeppy, and Sam would make cake and put flowers on his grave. He missed the last one because it was during the egg, but for a brief moment after Puffy killed him he saw Red. Red then promptly and bluntly told him to stop being a pussy (haha, cat) and that he shouldn't do all this just to get him back, one of Ant's motivators to make amends with the people he hurt while with the egg. Ant is also a shapeshifter, but can only turn into a cat.

Phil actually used to work under Foolish as a patron of life but then he had a son with the goddess of death, so his title was removed so he could be with her and he became an Angel of Death. Kristin noticed how sad he was after being released, so she gifted him wings. They were however, destroyed on November 16th. His chat also serves as messenger pigeons, which were used to send letters to Wilbur.

Connor is actually just a hedgehog who somehow befriended Schlatt. Even before the haunted mansion, Karl vented to him about his time travel troubles, not knowing he was a sentient player. As a hedgehog, no one really cares where he goes, so he goes outside the server limits to meet his friends from the haunted mansion.

Puffy is a distant relative of Schlatt, but instead of politics she went into piracy. With her mom, she went travelling the seas. One say, a storm came and wiped out her ship, her crew, her mom, everything but her. The reason she survived was because Foolish saw her and saved her. Unfortunately, Puffy hit hee head in the crash and doesn't remember anything.

Vikkstar is the equivalent of a big time celebrity, so of course his endorsement of POG2020 was a big deal.

Lazarbeam is literally just a ginger bread cookie.

Ranboo has actually met a lot of the smp before actually joining. He's met Niki, Fundy, Eret, Punz, and Dream at least. He also sees the inverted colors Enderman see. His suit was actually a gift from Eret before they forgot how to tailor. He got the crown from Techno after joining the syndicate, claiming he didn't want any syndicate members to look like trash.

Foolish came to the server most recently to check up on Eret, but he couldn't bring himself to leave again. When Puffy adopts him, he can't say no because he remembers saving her. His initial goal was to kill an ender dragon to claim the XD title and become a full god like DreamXD, but after realising someone already killed it he went into his totem if death phase. Upon meeting Eret, he got over it and they went on some silly adventures, Foolish now taking a more peaceful route.

Hannah is essentially a weaker George, as her power is tied to the plants themselves and not the entire server. She however has a lot more physical power because rose dryads like to fight because they have thorns. Since roses can be taken out a lot easier, she is essentially a glass canon. Also when around any plant, she can make it grow faster than normal.

Any guest on the server? Corpse, Pokimane, Lil Nas? They were all Slimecicle. That's how he knows where everyone is from, even outside of Las Nevadas. No one else knows this. He's also ancient, if he met Phil they would probably recognise eachother. There was an actual Charlie Slimecicle who was not a slime, but after being launched into orbit this Slimecicle decided to impersonate him.

Michael Mcchill is a sort of bounty hunter. He came to the server after hearing of all the crime, assuming there'd be a lot of bounties to collect. However, he soon learned that no one really cares if you commit a crime. He then took to reading news articles made by HBomb to see if there were any past open bounties. But after reading for a while about the server's wronguns, mostly Dream, he began to sympathise with them. And he's also a speedrunner, so maybe he could help with some bounties across other servers!

This was a very long post and i apologize, but it was so fun to finally write all these thoughts down! I hope you liked them! I can't even fit all the tags I want.

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cube-cumb3r · 3 years

Text

The Means Reflect On The Ends Actually, (c!Dream & the conditioning of Exile)

What was the point of exile, storywise? What does it say about c!Dream? Sure, it’s showcasing how far he’s willing to go to achieve his own ends, but I don't think all discussion about what exile tells us about c!Dream should start and end there.

Dream is not cruel for cruelty’s sake. Dream’s end goal is not to hurt as many people as possible. He views his cruelty are “necessary evils”, and he doesn’t dwell much on whether the things he does are “good” or “bad”. He’s fully aware he’s hurting people and he ultimately thinks that hurting people, to the extent that he does, is worth it. That being said, while Dream has an ends justify the means mindset, but the truth is, the means absolutely reflect on the ends. His true intentions aren’t a mystery, it’s very clear in the text that his ultimate goal is unity, but why does he want unity? And what would said unity entail?

(Before this essay starts I have to do an ad break to promo @daggryet's very helpful [transcriptions from the exile streams], which I'll be using a lot of. Thanks for the very helpful resource.)

TW: Relatively extensive discussion abt the abuse in exile arc & the effects of said abuse.

Firstly, I don't think you should deny his relationship to control. A through-line of his character is achieving harmony through control, and more specifically, obedience. There’s a reason why he tends to single out Tommy the most. It’s not actually because Tommy is remarkably more troublesome than anyone else on the server, but rather, because his disruptive nature is at Dream’s expense. Tommy is the only character who’s consistently over and over again refused to respect Dream’s authority, and though he isn’t particularly threatening on his own, it’s the sentiment itself that’s dangerous. Similarly, this is why he has consistently targeted L’manburg, moreso than any other faction on the server such as, say, Badlands, El Rapids. It’s almost as if they represented the sentiment, “Hey, why are we listening to you anyway? Why can’t we be listening to anyone else?”, which is why he crushed them, over, and over again. What if everyone figures out they can just stop listening to him? What then?

We talk a lot about the effects exile had on Tommy, and rightfully so, but we don’t talk enough about what Dream was actually doing. What was the purpose of exile? Was it just a way to get closer to the discs? Just a means to an end? What was the end?

TOMMY: What, what could you possibly want more from me? You’ve tortured me.

DREAM: I’m just keeping an eye on you, Tommy.

TOMMY: What does that mean?!

DREAM: I’m just, I’m making sure that you’re not up to no good.

TOMMY: But, how, you’ve exiled me, you fucking stupid, manipulative fucking green bastard!

DREAM: I know! And you know why I did that?

TOMMY: Yes?

DREAM: No, you know why?

TOMMY: Why?

DREAM: Because you don’t listen to me ever, you’re the only person who doesn’t ever listen to me. If I tell you to do something, you’re like “no, fuck you!”, and you go and like do like the exact opposite.

[full transcription]

As much as I have to preface this with that this is speculative and we may not have any irrefutable confirmation, I think it's very likely that it's literally just what Dream is saying he's doing. Tommy is the one person who refuses to listen to him, and he wants him to listen. Exile was not only conditioning Tommy to believe that nobody other than Dream cares about him, not only conditioning Tommy to be entirely reliant on him, but also conditioning Tommy to listen to him, without question, without disobeying. And that is such a significant and reoccurring motif for it to arguably just be the intended reading of exile.

Abuse is a vague term that encompasses a lot of abusive practices. There are a good handful that apply to exile, I'm sure if you ask someone qualified they'll be able to provide you a nice handy list, but ultimately, all of them target Tommy's own sense of agency and autonomy, and it all revolves around power and control. Dream creates rituals purely to disarm him, threatens him and punishes him when he doesn't listen, and rewards him when he complies (or rather, conditions Tommy into thinking that not being punished is a reward).

TOMMY: [begins throwing his armor and axe down for DREAM to explode.]

DREAM: No, no, it’s fine.

TOMMY: Re-really?

DREAM: Yeah. Today’s the party, right?

---

TOMMY: So when can I- no, I wanna go back. I… hey, thanks for letting me keep my armour today.

DREAM: You’re welcome.

TOMMY: Kinda nice of you.

[full transcription]

Dream isn’t only hurting Tommy for the sake of hurting him. People tend to frame it as if Dream Just Hates Tommy, but that’s not true. He finds Tommy fun, in a twisted way. There are a lot of moments in exile where they’re both on very good terms and Dream is friendly with Tommy. But, it's also all part of horror of exile, making Tommy reliant on him and his company, getting him to doubt his sense of reality, making him question whether his friends back in L’manburg ever cared about him at all, and possibly questioning whether he’s imagining the abuse as well, Dream is so kind to him after all, why would he ever want to hurt him?

Over the course of exile Tommy agency and sense of self start to deteriorate as well as his mental health, he starts worrying about what Dream would think, starts asking Dream for permission, going out of his way to avoid upsetting him, his only friend, his only reliable caring companion.

TOMMY: Yeah, so I’m thinking we- and then I can- but the thing is; so recently my buddy, Dream, has been doing this thing where he, uhm… it makes sense, though, because I’m not in his land anymore, but he takes my shit from me, so I need to make sure- […]

---

RANBOO: Yeah, so what do you say- does Dream like take your armor? Is that what you said?

TOMMY: I don’t know, he just- hey man, I just follow the boss.

[full transcription]

TOMMY: “Visit Techno” no, no, what would Dream think? […]

---

TOMMY: I’ve had a little idea, by the way, and I wanna know what you think, and also if I’m allowed

DREAM: Okay?

[full transcription]

TOMMY: Yeah, I know he’s actually - he’s sort of my- he’s borderline my owner, Big Q, so I’m not really sure.

MEXICAN DREAM: He’s your dad?

TOMMY: No, no-

MEXICAN DREAM: Ey! Ey, Papa Thomas!

TOMMY: No, no, we’re- as in labor.

MEXICAN DREAM: You gotta teach your child some manners.

[full transcription]

Dream’s outburst in exile after finding Tommy’s chests, is arguably one of Dream's most emotionally honest (and reckless) moments in exile considering it was what made Tommy realize he needed to save himself and escape. And it's punishing Tommy for going behind his back and planning to revolt.

TOMMY: I’m really, no, I’m really sorry, though. Why don’t we just pretend this never- yeah, let’s, shall we just pretend this-?

DREAM: Sorry doesn’t cut it, Tommy. Listen, I’ll leave you here to think about what you did-

TOMMY: What about the nether? What about the nether, my friends, what-?

DREAM: No! You can’t go to the nether, no one can come here, you are alone, okay? As soon as I think that you have changed, have become somebody who isn’t going to hide and lie and try and revolt; then people can visit you again. You can go to the nether again. But for now - no, no one can. You- I was being very lenient. Yesterday I let you go into the Dream SMP on a temporary pass, and then what do I find out the next day?

TOMMY: I’m so sorry.

DREAM: I have been nothing but gracious to you. Tommy. Think about what you did.

---

Exile wasn’t only a means to getting closer to the discs or getting Tommy out of the way. Exile was a means to conditioning Tommy into listening and respecting Dream as his superior. Dreams solution to Tommy being disruptive and troublesome was to [physically beat], emotionally abuse, and psychologically condition him into obedience. Only seeing exile as a testament to how far how willing he was go to meet his ends is reductive, and not acknowledging what Dream considers to be a “problem” and what he considers to be “solutions” is to not engage with his worldview. You have to take exile into account and what it actually says about his ideals of harmony and unity.

---

TOMMY: I can’t go back… I can’t go back, and see my friends and see Tubbo. This is a shithole! He wasn’t- he wasn’t here ‘cause he was my friend. He was here to- what did he say on the first day? Got a little bug that he can’t flig off? I’m the only person who never does exactly what he says?

TOMMY: I’m the only person who never does what he says. Me! He said that to me, didn’t he?

TOMMY: He was here to watch me.

[full transcription]

Dream’s relationship to Tommy can (and honestly should) be compared to his relationship to the entire server at large. Not to imply that He Literally Wants To Abuse The Server, but rather the he views the server revolting as a problem, and the solution? Well. The [prison]. The hall of attachments. It’s no surprise that the disc war, a conflict that was initially only primarily between Dream and Tommy*, is suddenly about everyone. Bargaining and blackmailing using attachments, something Dream initially only subjected Tommy to, to keep him under his control, is now a means to control everyone.

Is Dream's goal of unity for the sake of the overall happiness and quality of life of the people living within said unity? I don’t doubt that this at some point in time was true. But, the fact that he’s willing to ruin lives and long-term psychologically destroy people over it, means that his goal isn’t unity for the sake of the people living in his ideal version of the server, but at their expense. Him believing he needs to control people to maintain unity and harmony means that he believes himself to know what's best for people moreso than the people themselves, and therefore he's the only one responsible enough to make decisions for them. And it also means that his motives has warped and twisted overtime, it’s likely that he’s become so fixated on the goal of unity itself that he’s lost track of why he wanted it in the first place.

Anyway. Stop buying into Dream's own self-justification of "ends justify the means" and put his deeply flawed and broken worldview and view of people under a little bit of goddam scrutiny.

#*yeah no its about tubbo and sapnap too but thats not really who dream has ever focused on #dream smp #dreamwastaken #tommyinnit #exile arc #tw abuse #ask to tag #lor3 essays

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dreamsclock · 3 years

Text

“the only person [c!dream] would talk about when he was in [prison] was [c!]tommy, tommy, tommy”

well maybe when you’re so mentally ill + believe in the “story” that vilifies you and puts the sixteen year old kid that has been the biggest threat to your goals since c!wilbur up on a pedestal as the hero, maybe you’re gonna talk about him !! maybe you’re gonna grow attached to him as the idea of the Hero the same way you passively accept people seeing you as a Monster !! maybe when all your friends hate you + don’t come and see you and your enemy is the only one who promised he’d come as visit then you’re going to talk about him obsessively when he doesn’t !!

yes it’s a creepy awful line but not ,, for the reasons i see people in the notes talk about in this particular post (yes i’m vague posting lol i don’t wanna bring c!dream antis here lol). it’s a creepy awful line because c!dream has tried to cut everything and everyone off and this is direct proof about how much he’d failed. it’s a creepy awful line because it shows how desperate he is for company despite not being able to stand c!tommy and it’s a creepy awful line because it shows the awful degradation in relationship between c!dream and c!tommy but it doesn’t ,, necessarily indicate c!dream doesn’t care about anyone or anything ?? if anything it’s the opposite ??

i’ve spoke before about how obsessed c!dream is with the “story” and the “symphony” and himself and c!tommy as the respective villain and hero of that story. for as long as the server has existed, they’ve been opposites of each other, and c!dream’s mental state has spiralled enough that he genuinely thinks that “heroes” and “villains” exist and that either of them is one of them. the horrifying thing about this line is a) how far he’s deteriorated and how much he’s obsessed with what c!tommy REPRESENTS and b) how much this was twisted out of context, by c!sam and the audience ://

anyways c!dream cares about c!sapnap and c!george bc ofc he doesn’t, this guy has never been able to sever his attachments + one post shoving two unrelated clips together that may or may not be accurate isn’t gonna change that 😭😭😭

#8am and vague posting.... Whoops!#> my posts !!#c!dream critical #tw abuse #tw manipulation #tw toxic relationship #tw mental deterioration

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saintobio · 3 years

Note

WHAT IN THE WORLD. Like seriously WHAT?? I don't know where to begin..

I love how everyone in the comments had agreed that Naoya had done something. Like the man knew why he did the question to Toji about y/n being his wife. Still even after sleeping with step mom Gojo it's hard to hate him idk why I love the gossip queen Naoya...

Step mom Gojo. I saw that comming. I mean she ruined a family once why wouldn't she do it again? I have 2 theories for her. 1. She wants to give the company to Yuuta cause she loves her son more than her step son. 2. She wants Satoru out of the business so she can freely manipulate Yuuta using the excuse "I'm your mother I'm doing it for your own good"

Idk how Yuuta will react to things like that I mean from previous chapters he looked like he cared a bit about Gojo (like when his father hit him he told him to stop) and he seems like a sweet person so it's hard to predict how he will react/ what he will do once he has to overthrow his brother from the empire and literally leave him with nothing (except if they feed him with lies which is their specialty like cmon)

A PREGNANT SERA. Why am I not surprised? I'm at the dc server and we were all like "She's preggo I just know it". Sera's manipulation is going to go on another level. It's kinda obvious she's blinded from the shiny things he spoils her with but she's missing one point. Once the infidelity is revealed (because how can you hide a child) she doesn't understand that this will hurt not only MC but Hoejo mainly. The baby will be exactly the reason why the merge between MC's company and Gojo's will stop cause I don't expect Gen or her father letting MC stay in a marriage like this and it will help any rivals and in our case Gojo's step mom to overthrow him because "he failed as a businessman". She can keep it but with Satoru overthrow from the company he won't have the same money to spoil her. So she will be stuck with the "revenge baby", a traumatized Satoru who doesn't have MC to vent on or be comforted by, and no money. So she had to realize that this baby will be not only destroy his marriage (which she wants) but will also be Satous downfall and her downfall (she also might get fired so good luck finding another job with a baby in ur arms and a husband who has never been poor in his entire life).

MC... We stan Y/n... I'm actually worried about her. Her heart won't take it when she finds out about the baby (cause I'm sure sera will tell her about it in an effort to destroy her and the marriage).. I can see how she tried to distance herself but she cared about Hoejo even after everything he has done due to her kind and caring nature. If she reacted like that with the condoms before she learnt it was for her imagine what will happen with a BABY. She puts herself in more danger and I'm worried about the next chapters that something will happen and her Heath is gonna deteriorate. My precious MC doesn't deserve this....

Toji... after what happened to naoya I don't trust him. I'm a Toji stan and legit wished that MC and Toji will get together but I'm scared if there is something behind him we don't know.. But my dude has me begging on my knees and I didn't do anything to the MC... Dilf supremacy🛐🛐🛐

As for Hoejo SlutoruGojo. His end is comming soon. He will realize what he have done once he is on the street with sera both without jobs and money. But that's what you get. You can't have everything. He was given the chance to choose many times between his mistress and his wife. He chose the first now let him suffer. He has the audacity to suspect MC for cheating. Like honey that's your job not hers. In the beginning of the character I was feeling a bit of compassion for Gojo but finishing the chapter I went back to wanting him to suffer. If he inflicted so much pain to someone who didn't deserve it he deserves to suffer. But karma is a b1tch:))

Note: I saw in a post when we were simping for Toji and you said that Gojo is still the husband and to give him a chance. Well we gave him many chances he facked them up sooo it's time for him to suffer and MC to shine.

I CAN SEE THE DRAMA COMMING AND ITS GONNA BE ☕️☕️☕️☕️

this one as well!! thank you for writing to me <33 i’m happy to see all these reactions hhhh <3

#saintobio.asks #series: sincerely not #tw.pregnancy

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sheepprophet · 3 years

Text

/rp obv and /lh for the most part!

My thinking out loud for who Ranboo could trust with the enderwalk state, in no particular order:

A. Tommy. Probably one of the most obvious choices imo. He's proven to Ranboo specifically that he can be trusted to protect him in a similar situation (the trial about George's house being griefed where Tommy took the fall for him). I think Ranboo knows that Tommy can keep a secret. And Tommy isnt really on any sides at the moment - apart from his friendship with Tubbo which would probably his one loose end that could end up being a deal breaker for Ranboo. I legit think Tommy is objectively the best choice for this job (and i wanna see akward duo reunite as much as the next guy), but we gotta keep in mind who we're dealing with. Ranboo's likely not going to be think of Tommy as someone who's divorced himself from basically all conflict and is just trying to better himself. He's so paranoid about this exact issue, he's probably going to default to thinking Tommy is essentially just between sides right now. Plus, like I said, Ranboo didn't say he needs someone who "isnt on any side", he said he needs someone who's "detached". While Tommy definitely fills the former, he definitly doesn't fill the latter.

B. A lot of chat was suggesting Techno and/or Phil? Which?? My dudes??? No???? Yeah sure they probably wouldn't care, but Ranboo has made it pretty clear that he's really cautious about telling them things like this in fear that one day, they might care. Plus, when they say they don't care, they really mean it. To be honest, I dont think c!Techno or c!Phil are good people to be that vulnerable to? Mainly because this is something that Ranboo is going to need unprompted reassurance with and I dont really think either of them would think to do that? Plus, they're very much on a side, that being their own. When Ranboo says detached, I think he means really detached (or at least as much as humanly possible on this SMP).

C. Fundy. This one is odd because I could totally see it happening, but I can just as easily see it not. Ranboo and Fundy established a pretty strong bond throughout December, but after Doomsday it completely fell through for them both. They clearly still care about each other and that bond is definitely still there, but its been damaged and they've both been afraid to be the first to make an effort to mend it. I genuinely believe if they would just talk, they'd be back to normal in like 10 minutes. But they'd need to talk first and in this case I think Ranboo would be the one to start the conversation, which he's shown discomfort in doing before. However, if they could bridge this gap, l think Fundy would be a very good choice (as long as he could take it seriously). Obviously, Ranboo can trust Fundy on an emotional level and we know Fundy can keep a secret (almost too well) because of the whole A Spy's Diary situation. Fundy also said himself that he currently has no alliances on the smp, aside from probably Ranboo and Ranboo knows this. Additionally, Fundy is one of the only people, along with Puffy, and of course Dream, who have canonically seen him in his enderwalk state. (Tommy did notice him wandering around like he was in it once, but Ranboo hasn't acknowledged that time as canon, so idk). Anyway, I think Fundy would be a pretty solid choice if they can just get their shit together and finally make up.

D. Karl? I see where y'all are coming from with this one and listen, I would also love to see these to interact and bond over their respective memory issues, bookkeeping, and disrealization problems. But, I hate to break it to you that c!Ranboo literally has no clue about any of that. No one does. Karl hasn't told anybody about his ability to time travel and atm doesnt have any plans to. Granted, Ranboo could choose him for other reasons, but I highly doubt it, honestly?

E. Wilbur? I know what i just said, but Hear Me Out. He's not revived right now and we don't know when he will be or what he'll even be like when/if he is. But, a few things we can guarantee is that when/if he is he'll be one of the most detached people on the server (both politically and probably emotionally), he'd have no qualms with helping out Ranboo even if he does turn out to be some awful war criminal, and, based on his interactions with Ghostbur, I think Ranboo might be willing to trust him. And probably my biggest argument for why i like this crack theory: If Wilbur remembers all of the shit he did, that means he'll be one of the few people who would be able to relate to Ranboo. He knows what it's like to have Dream take advantage of your poor/deteriorating mental health and talk you into commiting acts of terrorism. Wilbur also would know what it's like to feel like you can't trust anyone, including yourself, and he could relate to Ranboo's disrealization he's been experiencing. Plus, I just think getting to see these two interact like this would be neat idk. Definitely not going to happen, but I thought I'd inculde the idea here!

F. Eret. Fuck dude, I really want Ranboo to go to Eret about this. Like first of all, Eret is functionally detached from everything right now (I mean that's why Dream has put them on the throne twice now). All Eret cares about is helping those who need it, which would include Ranboo. I also think Ranboo knows he can trust Eret and we all know Eret would be such a sweetheart about comforting the kid, while also understanding the seriousness of the situation and treating it as such. Something that I also thought was interesting was Ranboo emphasizing that it would be ideal if the person has "kept a secret before". Now, Fundy has also kept a big secret before (again, A Spy's Diary), but ya know who was the one other person who knew about Fundy's spy plan and kept the secret (which was someone else's) just as well? Eret. And of course, the reason Eret was the first person who came to mind for me: Eret betrayed L'manberg all that time ago and, obviously, had to keep it a secret and did with ease, even at a time when the writing couldn't protect it for them. Point is, Eret checks this box multiple times over and gets a gold star on it. On the note of Eret's betrayal, what I said about Wilbur knowing what it's like to be used by Dream to commit terrorism/war crimes, also applies to Eret. It's often forgotten that Eret was actually the first person to be used and manipulated by Dream. Eret wanted respect and power and when Dream found out, he promised it to them in the form of a flimsy title and fancy crown in exchange for turning on their friends, Eret took it. They then regretted it almost instantly. Point is, Eret can not only help Ranboo through this with the care and respect he requires, but can also do so by being able to relate to Ranboo on a personal level, which I think Ranboo would respond to. Eret is sort of the closest Ranboo could have to having someone represent what he's afraid he could become - someone who's seen as a filthy traitor and nothing more, never able to earn back the love and respect of their friends. But, Eret could show him that, with time and a lot of effort, he's worthy of forgivess just like they were. I also really want this for Eret. Let Eret be able to use the experience that they view as their biggest mistake, followed by months of paying for it, as a way to be able to help this kid that's grappling with some pretty heavy problems. It would be so healing for the both of them.

#dream smp #dsmp #dream smp analysis #dream smp theory #sorta #im more spitballing here lol #ranboo #tommyinnit #wilbur soot #fundy #itsfundy #fundylive #fundy why are you like this just pick some branding #eret #i just noticed this tag ive apparently used before that feels relevant:#hot take: eret was the first person to fall victim to dreams manipulation and has been paying for it ever since #im so big brain /j

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oyasuminto · 2 years

Note

Ok but what do their good & bad ends look like? Don't feel pressured to be to descriptive simce doing both for 4 OCs can be a handful. - 🥑

Fuwafuwa

GOOD END

You find her apartment without much trouble, the pomegranate-themed mezuzah catching your eye very quickly. When Fuwa opens the door, you notice that she looks... well. She may not be dressed to the nines, and she still looks ready to bolt at any second, but the circles under her eyes are faded, and her frizzy hair looks well-cared for, pulled into a simple ponytail. Then there's her smile.

"I... um..." Fuwa shakes her head and instead wraps her thin arms around you. "Thank you..."

BAD END

She's gonna throw up. Fuwa takes deep breaths, a clammy hand clamped over her mouth, the other shakily typing out messages. Fuck, it's all her fault, it's always her fault, she never should've expected someone like you to deal with all her bullshit. She can't bring herself to look at the messages Toast, xyx, lady, and salo send, they probably hate her for this.

im sorry im so sorry is the last message she sends before locating the leave server button.

MissLovelace

GOOD END

You couldn’t miss her even if you tried. As if her usual bright fashion style wasn’t enough, Lovelace is pulling a neon pink floral print suitcase behind her, heeled boots clacking against the airport’s floor. When she spots you, you’re pulled into a tight hug, the warmest hug you’ve ever experienced, if you’re being totally honest. When she pulls away, you finally get a close-up look of that radiant grin of hers, the one you admired during every video call.

“Oh my God!! You’re even cuter in person! This is, like, the best day ever!”

BAD END

She’s never liked seeing her server friends fight, she’s never liked seeing anyone fight. It hurts especially bad today, she can feel the stress gripping her insides, tearing her apart. She doesn’t bother asking you for another call, you made your opinions about her neutrality quite clear the night before. Lovelace lets loose, almost incoherent as she takes sides.

...and I cant do it anymore, I love you guys but... Lovelace doesn’t even finish the message. She can’t.

PollinicPanic

GOOD END

You’re greeted with not one but eight people; Pollen’s parents and siblings crowding around to get a look. Their youngest brother is holding up a sign with your username on it. With their usual grin, Pollen rushes over to you, grabs you by the arm, and eagerly introduces you to their family, listing off names, ages, and hobbies. With a grin, they press a brief kiss to your cheek, taking the chance to whisper right in your ear.

“Don’t worry, babe, we’ll have plenty of alone time, I promise~”

BAD END

They flinch every time their father coughs in the next room. He’s never been in the best of health, but the sudden deterioration strikes fear into their heart. Pollen briefly hovers their fingers over their keyboard. You wouldn’t be interested in hearing about it, they know you wouldn’t. Nobody needs to hear about Pollen’s issues, they’re just dragging everyone down.

you guys dont need to worry about me anymore, its all good, maybe we’ll meet again? haha! They’ve made the right choice, haven’t they?

starbunnies

GOOD END

Your knuckles barely even touch the door before it swings open, star looking tired but happy. Her daughter is in her arms, grinning and welcoming you in an excited manner that only a toddler could manage. You’re quickly ushered inside, star apologising for all the children’s toys scattered on the floor. You don’t mind, though, it just adds a characteristic charm to her apartment.

“Bun-bun was so excited about you visiting, she’s been talking non-stop about it for the past week!”

BAD END

Maybe everyone’s right! star’s a grown woman, one who has a toddler to worry about. Can she really afford to be wasting her time with a web novel? Talking to people she can never meet? She should be taking charge of her life, focusing on work, maybe even finding a second parent for her little girl. Yeah, it’s like her ex always said, she’s just an immature brat. God, she’s so stupid.

i’ll miss you guys, but, i think it’s time to move on, thank you, for being good friends :) star doesn’t let herself cry until her daughter leaves the room.

#Not Writing #BP Chat #Oyasuminto OCs #Fuwafuwa #MissLovelace #PollinicPanic #starbunnies #Asks #🥑 Anon

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