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dreamkidddream · 3 years

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Can I request a teen mc who is like YUJI from jujutsu kaisen as in they are the vessel of SUKUNA PLSS? Like maybe they can manifest SUKUNA in his curse form as another being as well like megumis dogs? (If you don’t know JJK can you just do a chaotic teen mc? ❤️)

WHEW THIS ALMOST DID NOT GET POSTED SINCE TUMBLR DELETED PARTS OF IT.

So let me tell you: I started reading the manga but have yet to watch the anime 😭 it’s really good though and I’m probably gonna start it this week, but I’m not sure if I’m 100% confident in writing Sukuna. BUT this request was too good to pass up, so if you don’t like it I will write the other scenario instead just let me know!

So for these headcanons, I made it to where MC is Sukuna’s vessel like Yuji, and that they can manifest him if needed. But, I still kept it to where he’s not exactly a good guy with MC’s best interest at heart. Reader is gender neutral and younger than the Bros, so the dynamic is more family instead of romance just a heads up! Hope you enjoy!

TW: Minor cursing, spoilers for Lesson 16 in Mammon’s, Beel’s, and Belphie’s part

The Brothers with Teen MC who’s Sukuna’s Vessel

Lucifer

Was very irritated with this revelation, but still curious

Still annoyed either way though

He already had to make sure that you stayed alive during your stay and not disappoint Diavolo, but now he had to make sure that you kept this curse at bay too!

#GiveLuciferABreak2021

He’s very skeptical of you: not only because of you being a young human but also being a human with essentially a demon inside of you

A very troublesome demon if not kept under control at all times

Honestly Sukuna was like an buzzing gnat who wouldn’t just go away, so Lucifer didn’t see him as a threat personally. More of a nuisance that could grow into a threat if remained unchecked

After you explained the whole situation, he still assigned Mammon to you, but he made sure to personally keep an eye on you too

Your presence was seen as a threat at first, but as time passed, he, along with his brothers knew you meant no harm, but the same couldn’t be said for this Sukuna

He wanted to have faith in you, but he couldn’t bring himself to fully believe it. After an incident at RAD with another demon attempting to attack you, your powers (or rather Sukuna’s) came out to play

He saw the markings, the extra eyes, the malice spread on your face, and he then realized just how serious this has become. You were able to gain control back, but the damage was already done. You were so distraught, sobbing before you, trying to apologize and swearing that you didn’t mean for this to happen, all the while Sukuna was laughing, morphing a mouth on your cheek

It was so bizarre to see, and he couldn’t help but feel a pang of pity for you. You were such a kind person, always going out of the way to spend time and help wherever you could. You essentially became a part of the family, but he knew that you didn’t feel accepted because of him

After that, your “punishment” was to practice holding control over Sukuna with Lucifer, every day after school (which can just be seen as him checking in on you on a daily basis, and trying out different techniques to make sure repeats of this incident doesn’t happen again). Meaning that you trained on manifesting him at will, instead of him completely taking over

Not gonna lie he’s acting like a proud dad when he sees you making progress and Sukuna just sitting in your head tired of all this positivity lol

Lucifer cares for you, he’s accepted you fully even if you hadn’t for yourself. He wants to protect all of his family (including you), and he doesn’t want to think about what could happen if Sukuna becomes a danger to the Devildom or Diavolo...

Mammon

Is impressed but also low key nervous

Humans are not suppose to be like this, ya know!

He’s not the smartest demon in Hell, but he definitely knows that you can’t summon demons without a pact, and he knows your baby face doesn’t have one with the King of Curses

You had to break down the whole deal, and it made him even more confused and distressed

Was still acting annoyed being your designated babysitter, I mean seriously, just how annoying can you be?!

Just kidding! You guys are totally partners in crime in no time and you both make Lucifer get 2x the wrinkles now

“MC, let the Great Mammon show you how’s it done!”

“Mammon, you’re going to be the reason why we’ll be strung up again for the third time this week.”

“It’s going to be both of your idiots’ faults. Such a pathetic display.”

SHIT HE FORGOT YOU GOT A WHOLE CURSE INSIDE YOU

He HATES whenever Sukuna makes an appearance, whether you call on him or he makes his own special appearance. He’s like a gritty and more sadistic version of Lucifer, minus the style and uptight personality (and honestly the finesse too), which made him 10x the more aggravating

He honestly hates Sukuna in general. Here you are, his MC, one of the only people to stand up and defend him always, struggling to live a normal life because of him. It was bad enough that you got sent down here with no warning, but now you got sent with him, and from what Mammon could hear with the conversations between you two, he wasn’t exactly your BFF

Denies being excited about seeing you perform your cursed techniques, but only because it brings him out (and he guesses it’s a little cool that you know how to do it). But human, you don’t need that lame curse, you got the great demon himself to protect you!

On a darker note, you made Mammon swear to you that if Sukuna took over and you for some reason couldn’t gain back control, that he would protect himself and his brothers first before worrying about you. He hated this even coming up, you should be worrying about what’s the next scheme you guys could pull off, not some weird sharpie colored entity causing problems. But you were dead serious, and you made him promise that if the worst case scenario ever happened, he would make sure it’s taken care of

Mammon realized you were the missing piece to their family. It felt nice to have someone depend on him, to actually treat him with respect and care for him truly. He refused to accept Sukuna as a part of you (really he just acted like he didn’t exist, which he didn’t in his mind), and he refused to let him or anyone else harm you

You’re family now, and he wasn’t going to lose anyone else ever again

Leviathan

Oh look, another normie

Wow, you’re such a normie that you’re even talking to yourself through a manifested mouth on your palm-wait WHAT

You broke it down to him, and you just...stared at you, with a blank expression on his face. Until-

“OMG THIS IS JUST LIKE THE ANIME-“

How ironic lol

He practically had a fanboy overload moment whenever you showed off your cursed techniques to him after he begged asked you countless times

You guys remember that vine with the kid saying, “I have the power of God and anime on my side”? Recreate that while doing your moves and he’ll be in awe and dying laughing at the same time

Will post it to his Devilgram and DevilTube

His envy will start to show at first. How is it that someone boring like you get to have all these cool powers and have an actual king reside in you?? You’re living the Shonen dream and not even grateful for it!

But this reality for him would soon shatter after he saw Sukuna for himself, and the way that he behaved towards you. The way that the curse would just look at with disdain in his eyes just made Levi’s skin crawl. He was made well aware that you were in fact not living the anime dream he thought you were. The look in your eyes reminded him of how he would feel whenever he felt like a scummy otaku, and from that point forward he would find ways to cheer you up

You can plan on having anime marathons, game nights, even talking with Henry (I hc that he can talk and understand aquatic animals) when you get into these moods. Anything that helps him get out of his funks he’s hoping it helps you too. You don’t deserve this type of treatment from anyone, especially someone that even he can no doubt eliminate

You were honestly one of the coolest people that he knows, and one of the strongest too! Not just physically, but mentally too. He can’t imagine what could be going on in your head since Sukuna became a part of you, but he knows that you’re strong enough to overcome anything that he throws at you. And if you had moments where you faltered or doubted yourself, that’s okay! Levi would be right beside you the whole way, doing anything he can to keep pushing you forward

Be the teen anime hero that he’s know you can be MC! You wouldn’t be his Henry if he didn’t have any faith in you, you know?

Bonus: you don’t have to worry about your anime nights being ruined after one night when Sukuna somehow found a spoiler to an anime that Levi was really anticipating became a very visual warning for the curse. Levi convinced you to let him take over, and whatever was said resonated with him because you never heard a peep after that, both out loud and in your head

Satan

Oh he was BEYOND fascinated

We all know how much Satan loves to read and how smart he is, so while you look at your condition as a curse (no pun intended), he saw it as an opportunity

Could you feel this curse coursing through your body? Did you feel stronger? Could he see through your eyes all the time or only when you let him? He had so many questions it wasn’t even funny

Very understanding of your situation surprisingly (but still called you dumb for eating Sukuna’s finger)

Satan would be one of the only people you could really trust when dealing with Sukuna. Yes, you trusted all of the brothers, but if you were really in a bind you could count on Satan to come up with a solution quickly

The only issue was his anger. Everyone knows just how angry he can get, and to avoid him ASAP if you even think he’s getting frustrated. Sukuna knows this too, and will be more than happy to taunt him to truly bring out his wrath. While he does need you alive (for now), it wouldn’t hurt to have some type of fun around here. Plus, this could cause your bonds with these brothers to weaken, and the weaker the bond, the weaker the will to help you keep him at bay and defeat him

But Satan knew better, and you did your best in keeping Sukuna away. He may be the Avatar of Wrath but that didn’t mean he was stupid. However, he did have one slip up unfortunately

You see, he was just having a bad day and already got into a spat with Lucifer, and you sensed that he certainly needed his space. So while you slowly backtracked to your room and from his path, Sukuna decided to be the evil ass that he is, and proceed to provoke him. What finally made him snap was his comment that, “You would be a formidable opponent if you weren’t in your older brothers’ shadow, but oh well. Can’t help who you come from I see.”

It took Beel, Mammon, and Lucifer to properly restrain him from ripping Sukuna (really you) limb from limb, with him laughing manically and you scrambling back in fear. Which called for a very long, detailed family meeting (of course after Satan fully calmed down) that resulted in mediated meetings between you and him for the next month. You felt guilty, you should have done better containing him, but you couldn’t predict whenever he decided to pop up!

But after a long talk, Satan didn’t blame you. He blamed himself for losing to his anger and especially blamed Sukuna. He decided that it was time to get rid of this pest once and for all. Be ready MC, cause once he puts his mind to something, there’s no stopping him

Prepare for your bonding time to be deep into books and practicing new hexes and curses. But don’t worry, it’s not always boring and Satan makes sure that you’re having some type of fun. He’s really doing this to have some sort of protection for you: whether it’s against Sukuna or himself. He wants you to know something besides your cursed techniques just in case they fail for some reason

Will shockingly want you to manifest the curse, one main reason is to obviously collect information on him, the other reason is to test said hexes and curses on him

Can a curse be cursed? Let’s find out

You helped Satan with him realizing that anger isn’t the only emotion that you can feel, and with you being so young, he wanted you to experience life as much as you can. And while you had an extra...passenger with you, he will do his best to make sure that it doesn’t get in the way of you enjoying life. It was nice to see a joyous smile on your face

Also you guys did find a hex that made Sukuna meow for the whole day and it was the best thing to ever happen with him lmao

Asmodeus

Honestly wasn’t really bothered with it at first. If anything, he treated it like hot gossip when you told him in the beginning

One thing he will say though: humans can be so revolting at times. I mean you ate a rotten finger, a cursed, aged, sharp, disgusting- you get the point. He did cringe at that, but everything else was pretty normal besides that

Still talked about your daily gossip, painted nails, the works. But recently, Sukuna’s name has been coming up more and more in your recent convos. Asmo, being quite the messy curious demon, wanted to know more about this curse

He really treated Sukuna like he was just your show and tell act and would want you to bring it out to see how he really was. He was amused with your cursed techniques, but he wanted to see more!

He heard you both talking with one another, and he wanted to see him in person! He hasn’t done anything and you’re among the seven strongest in Hell, so what could go wrong?

So much. So much could go wrong

And so much went wrong

After you manifested him, it went downhill from there. The large amount of control you did show caught his attention, but then it moved to the King of Curses himself. He was very delighted to see him up close for more than a couple of seconds, and took his time admiring his physique up close. It was fun for him, but not for you. Sukuna could feel your will slipping since your focus was being divided dealing with Asmo, so he took this as his time to shine

You had an exhausting day, and you were tired, which he used to his advantage. Asmo started to complain when Sukuna suddenly disappeared, but didn’t have a chance to voice it as your arm suddenly gripped the front of his shirt. He felt himself jolt, feeling his heart pumping. He looked into your eyes and realized that this wasn’t you, this was now Sukuna. The black markings that lined your face along with the new eye color (and the extra pair of eyes) came with a grin that stretched across your face

“What’s the matter? You were so eager to be in my presence, is it not to your liking now that the tables have turned? You claim to be one of the strongest, yet I would be able to kill you just being in this form-Ah, the brat is trying to come back, what a shame. Do me a favor, little Asmodeus, don’t insult me like this again. I am a King, and you will remember that. I might have to pay you another visit and take your heart with me next time to make sure you’re aware of that.”

He didn’t give Asmo time to answer, as his grip loosened and you were back. He saw you stumbling, shook out of his own thoughts and reached to catch you. He knew that this curse was an issue, but he didn’t understand just how serious this was, how serious it had gotten so quickly. The thought of Sukuna didn’t scare him, but the promise of him coming back just for him caused some worry. He wasn’t the weakest, but he didn’t want to hurt you! As much as he couldn’t stand his new found scorn of Sukuna, it wasn’t enough for him to take the chance of injuring you

You didn’t strike fear in him, rather the opposite. To see someone he has grown to care about be the one to try and bring his demise was...saddening. He could just feel his heart breaking at the notion. And if this experience taught him one thing is to be more understanding of what you’re going through

You remembered bits and pieces of the incident, and whenever you asked Asmo about it, he would divulge a tad in what happened, but wouldn’t go into too much detail. He didn’t want you blaming yourself, and he didn’t want you to distance yourself from him either. You already proven yourself of formindable you are ever since you gotten down here, and Asmo wasn’t going to let some jealous wannabe demon get in the way of that!

So no more talk of the thing, and whenever it did want to make an unsuspecting visit, Asmo would be ready. The thing was immune to most curses, but that didn’t mean that he couldn’t be charmed to some extent, right?

Has covered the eye slits up with makeup and other beauty products every morning, becomes both of your favorite bonding activity. Anything to erase any evidence of it existing and to hear your giggles brightens his day everytime!

Beelzebub

Is very sympathetic of your ordeal

Has mad respect for you eating that finger though, even he doesn’t think that he would eat that

Maybe with some sauces and some Hellroast he might

Is another brother that tries to keep an eye on you. If this Sukuna really is as dangerous as you make him out to be, then he would make sure to be prepared if things went south

Beel’s motto: stay ready you ain’t gotta get ready

Will want you to practice your moves with him. Beel’s pretty powerful, and on muscles alone is one of the strongest brothers. He wants to make sure that you can recognize your full potential, and to always do your best. Expect to be in the gym or the HoL’s backyard working out and training majority of the week

Is thoroughly impressed with your cursed techniques

Beel doesn’t understand that while yes, you have a whole curse residing in you, doesn’t make you less of a human. He forgets that you still have some limitations, and you have to remind him at least twice a week. You gotten more powerful yes, but you still weren’t at Beel’s level

“You can do it MC! Don’t give up!”

“Beel this is over 500 pounds...are you forgetting that I’m still HUMAN-”

But you can never stay mad at him, he’s just too sweet and he means well. He genuinely wants you safe and prepared if anything happens with Sukuna, and if getting you buffed up makes him feel somewhat at ease, then you’ll deal with it

Shares his food with you sometimes. He makes sure that you eat properly too, so no skipping out on meals!

Great listener! Whether you’re complaining about class, talking about a new restaurant you’re interested in (he’s definitely tuned in), or venting about Sukuna, he’s all ears. Even gives you advice if you ask for it or if you really need it

Has encountered Sukuna while he took over your body once, and let me tell you, he was not happy at all

Beel is one of the brothers that are in touch with his emotions; he doesn’t really fly off the handle into a rage unless someone has done something to his family or if he’s being denied food. But now that you’re family and vulnerable not only to other demons but to this curse inhabiting your body, he wasn’t taking any chances

He made sure to be very clear when talking with Sukuna. He wouldn’t stand for anything happening to you, and he made sure that the curse would wish he stayed scattered if that boundary was crossed

Beel is a very protective big brother that’s constantly looking out for you all the time. Even if you feel like that you need to bare this burden on your own, he makes sure that you never feel alone.

He already lost Lilith, and he doesn’t want to lose you too. He won’t mess up this time

Belphegor

See, he knew that there was something wrong with humans, and you were living proof of that

How can you trust humans not knowing if they have another creature living within them?!

Whatever, he’s too sleepy to even care about it

And you weren’t one of the worst so...he guesses that you’re tolerable, but don’t push it!

In the beginning, he thought it was easy to manipulate you, but he could just sense that something wasn’t right with you (and no, it wasn’t because you were just human). He would hear you talking aloud to yourself, except that you were...responding to yourself too?

He thought you finally cracked up lmao

He brought it up as a joke once, but the way you reacted was tense and...ashamed? Oh, he just hit a gold mine. This could make things much more interesting. You shared a little bit of your story with this so called “King of Curses”, but he was smart enough to make a plan off of the information. Maybe he could take advantage of Sukuna like he is of you. Kill two birds with one stone

Well his plan backfired swiftly. After he was freed from the attic and went straight in for the kill, things went array. His hands were wrapped around your neck, he could-should see the life leaving your eyes, but instead he was met with Sukuna’s gaze. Belphie thought he planned this right, he made sure that he didn’t give you enough time to manifest him or to use your curse techniques, so how was this-

“You think I don’t recognize the look of bloodlust, you spoiled child? You were foolish enough to believe that you could get rid of me this easily like the brat?!”, and he was sent flying across the room. How was this happening, this wasn’t suppose to happen!-

“As much as I would like to see them die, they’re useful to me for the time being. Once they are of no use anymore, the only one who will be relishing in their demise is me. They’ll be dying by my hand, not by some weakened child.”

Those words still resonated with him still to this day. Honestly, the whole incident did. No matter how many times he tried to convince himself that you forgiven him and want to build a real bond together, his mind refused to erase that horrid memory, and he deserved it. When Belphie remembers back to that day, he remembers the horrified and heart breaking looks on his brothers’ faces, the way that your eyes show how betrayed and petrified, and how you were gasping out begging him to stop, before he comes out and puts everyone in danger

He felt disgusting, guilty, mortified, regretful, a disappointment. Those feelings only escalated after having them explain the truth to him, both about yourself and being a descendent of his dead sister. He could see how much you touched his family, and you extended that kindness to him too, and he just exploited it

He stayed far away from you for a very long time. He didn’t try to approach you at all, only staying in the planetarium or even the attic, to avoid crossing paths with you. He didn’t deserve to make a connection with you like his older brothers, as much as he wanted to. He was remorseful, it wasn’t because of the whole Lilith revelation, but because you really didn’t deserve that happening to you

You made the first move to make amends, to have a fresh start, and he couldn’t have been more grateful, albeit nervous. He was so terrified of messing things up again, but you were there to help keep him grounded. “I won’t lie to say that what you did was okay, but I’m willing to move on from it. You aren’t completely forgiven, but we can work towards fixing things, together.”

Belphie was shaken by Sukuna’s words, but he wasn’t necessarily scared of him. In fact, he would personally find a way to cast him out of your body and destroy him permanently as the perfect apology and thank you gift; the thank you for reuniting him with his family, and for helping them develop healthy relationships with one another. They weren’t as separate as before, and it made him feel so warm every time he thought about it

Not that he would ever say that to anyone

You both spent time together either napping or plotting for future LYS (Lucifer You Suck) pranks. And since Belphie is pretty good with magic himself, he would be teaching you some new spells or curses that you could use to protect yourself, even against the curse inside you

Belphie will make sure to not make another huge mistake when it comes to you ever again. He’ll have his little slip ups, but you were never put into harms way because of them. He doesn’t want to sabatoge this bond, and he wants you to truly be happy spending time with him. He’s not the greatest role model (obviously) and may be tight lipped about how he feels most of the time, but he really does have your best interests at heart

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makeste · 3 years

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BnHA Chapter 302: As the Todoroki Turns

Previously on BnHA:

Today on BnHA: We have a very fun chapter in which (1) Shouto grows up lonely on account of his parents being worried that his siblings will literally try to kill him, (2) Natsu and Fuyu grow up neglected on account of not being special and/or self-destructive enough to attract attention, (3) we get to revisit all of that exciting spousal abuse from chapter 39, and (4) Touya burns to death right on cue, pretty much exactly like we expected it to happen. Thankfully since this is a shounen manga, Horikoshi finds some hope in all this misery as the Todoroki family rallies together, with Shouto getting his long-overdue credit for being a perfect sweet angel who put up with all of this shit for sixteen years and somehow came out of it strong and kind and empathetic and determined. Anyway, so that flashback was a barrel of laughs. But now that it’s over, we can put all of that angst behind us, and move on to... well I guess, probably, more angst. Look, we’re short on variety at the moment. Bear with it.

ouch. we knew this was coming, but still

A+ parenting move there. “ho boy, our eldest just tried to murder our youngest, now what? hmm how about we isolate our youngest from all human contact”

though in their defense, we probably shouldn’t have expected this rabidly strength-obsessed fire man and his wife who was groomed since childhood to obey her family’s whims to have any idea of how to raise stable, well-adjusted offspring

SERIOUSLY YOU GUYS

this is a perfect example of Enji’s tragically self-revolving viewpoint right here. just because being a hero is your entire world doesn’t mean you can just excuse yourself from anything outside of that and act like it’s out of your control. “alas, all I care about is hero stuff and my son can’t be a hero, we are doomed to inhabit two different worlds” no you jackass, it’s called having more than one hobby?? figuring out how to spend some time with your son that doesn’t involve training?? the same exact thing you were telling him to do last week, while ignoring that you’ve never done that yourself in your life??

that said, yet again we have that complexity though because it’s obvious that Enji at least on some level is aware of his own flaws, even though he seems unwilling or unable to confront them. honestly, from what we’ve seen so far, Enji’s obsession with surpassing All Might might be more accurately called an addiction. he literally can’t let go of it even though he’s fully aware of how it’s slowly destroying his life. and so in the same way that a lifelong smoker or alcoholic might tell their child to stay away from cigarettes and booze, Enji tells Touya not to follow down the same path as him, even though he himself doesn’t know how to leave that path. so yes, it’s hypocritical as fuck, but there’s also an element of helplessness there as well because Enji literally doesn’t know how not to be like this

though all the same he sure could stand to put in more than just a token effort. but it is what it is, and we already know how much he’ll come to regret it

and meanwhile Baby Shouto has frozen his sleep bubble with his quirk lmao. so I guess his quirk did come in early. that’s a recipe for chaos right there

once again Shouto is ruining every single dramatic panel in this flashback

this was so dark and intense... and then I spotted the lil bubs in the corner. Horikoshi please control yourself

“some hero you are, running away” and then all of a sudden, “FIVE YEARS LATER” lol what. OKAY THEN

(ETA: love the confirmation that eight-year-old Natsu comes from the Iida school of puberty and is basically a fully grown man, and meanwhile Touya comes from the hobbit school of puberty and has been perpetually eight for the past five years.)

“HEY BIG BRO WANNA COME RECREATE AN ICONIC FLASHBACK SCENE WITH US. WE’VE GOT THE SOCCER BALL RIGHT HERE, BUT HURRY UP OR WE’LL BE TOO LATE FOR SHOUTO TO WALK ON BY AND STOP TO LOOK”

lol and that’s literally the next three panels. but Horikoshi did add this extra bit after Endeavor starts to drag Shouto away

seriously Enji what the hell did you expect was going to happen here. “Touya went nuts and tried to kill his little brother out of jealousy, so let’s make it clearer than ever that Shouto is the important child and all the other children are just rejects. this will definitely not make the problem 100x worse, and will surely lead to Touya giving up and living a happy life, having been emotionally abandoned by the person he admired more than anyone.” good for you pal you figured it all out. no need for that plan b, “we all just go to therapy”

anyway so he’s telling Shouto he can’t play because he needs more endurance training. and meanwhile Touya’s patented Todoroki Drama Genes are going through puberty as well

definitely the face of a happy, emotionally stable child who’s not still plotting to murder his younger brother in his sleep

“WELL ACTUALLY MAKESTE” lol I stand corrected??

apparently during the five year interim Touya actually stopped blaming Shouto and realized Enji was the one at fault. good for him! a bit inconsistent, given what we know happens later, but I assume we’ll get to that in good time

anyway. “yeah man I agree that dad sucks, but it’s the middle of the night and I’m only eight and you’ve been monologuing for the past two hours bro”

LMAO

the manga is making my jokes for me, only better. fine then

looks like someone’s still miffed about that disagreement he had with his baby sister back when she was like four

“Fuyu doesn’t get properly riled up like I want her to so ranting to her is annoying.” okay but having been in Fuyu’s shoes, it really is just a different way of coping, and I can guarantee she’s not as fine with the whole situation as Touya might think. but making your peace with something is often a decision that’s made for emotional self-preservation reasons. and I sure as hell don’t fault her for trying to shut out a situation that she had no control over, and trying to make the best of it, and scrape together as normal a childhood as she could manage

and now in Touya’s defense as well, that is of course easier said than done, and I’m sure if there was a “push this button and instantly get over all of the trauma in your life” switch readily available for Touya then he would have pushed it too. unfortunately it’s not always that simple

so now Rei is pleading with Touya not to go train up on his little emo hill again, but it doesn’t seem like much has changed since he was eight

I don’t think he gives two figs about being a hero; he just wants his father to look at him again with pride. fucking hell, stop doing this to me you damn Todorokis

guh, they keep telling him the same thing over and over again

even if we hadn’t already known he was gonna go melt his jawbone off soon, I wouldn’t have expected a line like that to go over well

yep. fuck

that Todoroki puberty angst, though. nothing else quite like it

“you have a part in this too, Mom” ooooooh man

okay but look, he’s not entirely wrong. like, I’m not saying any of this is Rei’s fault at all! she’s in an impossible situation where she’s afraid to stand up to Enji (who by this point has shown that he’s willing to physically attack her if things get too heated, which is terrifying), and doesn’t really have anywhere to turn for support. her parents aren’t helping much if at all, and Japan in general is just a terrible country to be in when you’re in a domestic abuse situation. everyone’s expected to put on a brave face and deal with their problems all on their own in private. Rei is basically completely isolated at this point, and she doesn’t know what else to do, and so she’s just trying to keep the situation as stable as possible for the kids

but on the other hand, “for the kids” is also where that argument starts to break down a bit, because at this point Shouto is also being physically abused by his father, and the other kids are continuing to be neglected (emotionally if not physically), as they have been for years. so the situation really isn’t stable at all for them. and as a kid, what you end up learning in that type of situation is that you can’t rely on either parent. not the abusive one, certainly, but also not the other one who can’t protect you from any of it. even if they love you and they’re trying, they’re just as helpless as you. Rei is struggling to deal with all of this with one hand tied behind her back, and I get it, and I’m not blaming her at all. but all the same, particularly given that she’s (understandably) putting almost all her focus on Shouto, the end result is that the other kids have basically been left to fend for themselves

so yeah! a shitty situation all around. and one of those cases where it’s not really anyone’s fault (aside from Enji’s), but I can understand the resentment Touya is feeling all the same. and I’m so glad Horikoshi is acknowledging this, because it’s something I probably would have been too uncomfortable to bring up otherwise. as it is it’s still an incredibly heavy subject, and one that I probably have too many personal feelings about

anyway, so once again the whole “we’ll try talking to him and then just shrug our shoulders when it doesn’t work” parenting strategy doesn’t really pan out for the Todoroki fam

sob this boy is Anakin Skywalkering before our very eyes. all that’s missing is AFO to come and start whispering in his ear. any minute now...

“anyway so then he got taller and his fire changed from red to blue”

guess we’re getting pretty close then huh. this is the part of the flashback that I really don’t want to see, but also unfortunately the part that I’m most curious about :/

oh for fuck’s --

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN IGNORING HIM FOR FIVE YEARS DIDN’T ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM” sob. back to the drawing board I guess

I thought he got taller, why is he still only like a third of Enji’s height here

oh fuck me these are armor-piercing feels. this is the heavy artillery right here

ENJI I’M BEGGING YOU PLEASE STOP AND THINK FOR ONE MOMENT IN YOUR LIFE BEFORE DOING SOMETHING YOU’LL REGRET FOR THE REST OF ALL TIME. your child just told you that he still thinks beating All Might is the only thing you care about, and that he believes his existence is a mistake unless he finds some way of doing that for you. please stop for a moment to contemplate that and choose your next words with care and grace and oh who the hell am I kidding

-- OR WE COULD JUST BLAME REI

go on and blame everyone but yourself then!! that’s a great solution!! jesus christ man I know this is Endeavor at his literal worst but still this is fucking hard to watch

POOR BABY SHOUTO IS YELLING AT HIS DAD NOT TO HIT HIS MOMMY THIS LITTLE BRAVE BOY NEEDS SO MANY HUGS OH MY GOD

AND MEANWHILE THE OTHERS ARE HUDDLED IN THE NEXT ROOM TRYING NOT TO CRY AH FUCK

(ETA: Fuyu covering Natsu’s ears cuts RIGHT TO THE CORE OF ME. Horikoshi if you’re really not gonna get these kids some therapy then at least consider giving your readers some. what is this.)

you know it’s bad when you’re starting to think the part where the kid burns to death might actually be a less traumatic thing to cut to right now

holy shit, actual Rei thoughts

“I was the one who ultimately made that choice” well there we go, wonder if that’ll put that whole argument to bed at last. I doubt it, but you never know. actually who am I kidding it’s not gonna settle jack shit lol

oh thank god, they decided it was getting too intense and cut away back to the present to narrate this next (final?) part

get ready to cue up that Alicia Keys. THIS BOY IS ON FIREEEEEEE

yeah I think that’s one thing we can mostly all agree on. neither of them had any clue what the fuck they were doing pretty much at any point. though I will say that the hypocrisy of him being all “WHY DIDN’T YOU STOP HIM” followed by him IMMEDIATELY DOING THE EXACT SAME THING is a bit rich

(ETA: and he still has this problem, doesn’t he? he froze up when Ending snatched Natsuo, and again when Dabi was attacking Shouto. he’s so afraid of doing the wrong thing that he ends up not doing anything, which of course is exactly what led to Touya’s death. damn Enji I guess you’ve still got some additional character development to unlock.)

and of course neither of them could possibly have known how badly it was going to turn out. like, the consequences here were WAY disproportionate even for the shittiest of parenting. no one expects “I didn’t know how to talk to my son” to snowball into “my son burned to death and then somehow came back as a villain and murdered thirty people”

ohhhhhhhh fuck me

LITERALLY INCINERATED THE ENTIRE HILLSIDE. fuck. and I am so not ready for the scene of Enji finding the remains of his jawbone afterwards. at least we were spared anything super-graphic (for now at least)

I feel like the timeline here is off, btw?? wasn’t Touya’s death supposed to happen after Rei got hospitalized? this might be the first actual retcon of the entire flashback. although I think it makes more sense this way tbh

I do appreciate that ten years later Enji is finally reflecting on the fact that if he’d just given up his stupid obsession he could have stopped his family from crumbling apart. that probably sounds sarcastic as fuck, but it’s not. there are countless jerks out there who would have still managed to find a way to blame literally everyone and everything under the sun except for themselves. at least he finally figured out how to take responsibility, even if it came too late to stop his son from dying and being radicalized into a villain terrorist organization

and speaking of, it seems to me we’re missing a third and final part to this little tale of woe, and one which only Touya himself will be able to shed any light on. so we’ll see how that goes

oh man seeing the other kids blaming themselves even though none of it was their fault hits hard af. Rei wasn’t kidding when she said they’d been bearing that burden of guilt far longer than Enji

SHOUTO I SWEAR TO GOD IF THE NEXT PANEL IS YOU APOLOGIZING FOR BEING BORN, I WILL... WELL I’LL BE VERY SAD, I GUESS. SO DON’T DO IT

oh good he’s just being quiet. good. it absolutely is not your fault lil bean. it’s not theirs either, but feeling guilty about things that aren’t your fault is a time-honored shounen tradition

goddammit I braced myself for the angsty Shouto panel a page too early. gotta do it all over again now lol. okay here goes

;_;

well well well would you look at that

imagine that. talking things out with your child before they make a rash decision. looks like the Todorokis’ parenting skills are finally leveling up

OH MY GOD

holy shit. this is the most quintessential moment of father/son Todoroki bonding in the entire series. for me it even tops the “nice scar” scene lol. Enji sobbing at the fact that he still has a chance to set things right. and Shouto offering his hand in what is actually the most mature and selfless gesture I’ve ever seen, and being all “we’ll stop him together” to his dad who he hates, but also doesn’t really entirely hate anymore. and all of that is incredibly moving... BUT ALSO HE STILL REFUSES TO MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH HIM AND HE WOULD LIKE HIM TO STOP BEING SO FUCKING DRAMATIC ALREADY IF YOU DON’T MIND. “WHEN YOU’RE DONE CRYING...” fkjldsk

OH MY FUCKING LORD

(ETA: wouldn’t be a Todoroki drama fest if there wasn’t somebody listening in on the whole thing in secret just around the corner lmao.)

“you think we should have waited somewhere else?” “yeah, probably.” “are you feeling a lot of secondhand embarrassment too?” “god, you have no idea.” STFU HAWKS IT’S NOT EMBARASSING TO BE MOVED TO TEARS BY YOUR FAMILY ALL COMING TOGETHER IN YOUR DARKEST HOUR TO GIVE YOU HOPE THAT YOU PROBABLY DON’T DESERVE BUT ARE NONETHELESS INDESCRIBABLY GRATEFUL FOR

and anyway you chose these guys as your found family, bucko. too late to back out now. next time go get yourself adopted by the Iidas then

AND MEANWHILE NO WORD ON THE WHOLE “HOW DID A THIRTEEN-YEAR-OLD SURVIVE A FIRE THAT COVERED HIS BODY WITH HORRIFIC SCARS AND MELTED HIS JAW OFF, AND HOW DID HE SOMEHOW THEN MANAGE TO GO INTO HIDING FOR TEN WHOLE YEARS, AND WHAT HAPPENED IN THAT INTERIM TO CHANGE HIS GOAL FROM ‘SURPASS ALL MIGHT TO IMPRESS MY DAD’ TO ‘KILL ALL HEROES TO MAKE MY DAD SUFFER’.” as if we don’t know the answer to that. but still, would it kill Horikoshi to just confirm AFO’s involvement in all of this already. at this point it’s basically just a formality

so here’s hoping next week we’ll either get that, or more Hawks action, or (DARE I EVEN SUGGEST, I’M AFRAID TO JINX IT) finally cut back to Bakugou and Deku and All Might omg. either way I’m hyped

#bnha 302 #todoroki touya #dabi #todoroki enji #endeavor #todoroki rei #todoroki shouto #todoroki natsuo #todoroki fuyumi #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #my sincerest apologies for this absurdly long recap which is barely funny at all!#THERE WAS VERY LITTLE HUMOROUS CONTENT IN THIS CHAPTER #congratulations horikoshi you win this round

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scarlettriot · 3 years

Text

Rainy Day HCs

Summary: What everyone's favorite boys do when it starts to rain.

Soft fluffy fluff. G/N reader

Warning: Mild cursing. Menitons of recreational drugs.

Characters: Bakugo, Midoriya, Kaminari, Kirishima, Todoroki, and Sero

Bakugo

. He insisted on training outside even though the forecast called for rain.

. Also insisted that he needed a training buddy and you were the only one awake.

. You two barely started actual sparing when the first few droplets of rain started to fall and you questioned if you should move the practice someplace dry.

. "You think villains are gonna stop because of a little rain? I don't think so! Now gimme all you got, damn it!"

. You've both always been fairly matched when it came to sparring so after about 30 minutes of going back and forth you were both soaked through and covered in mud.

. Laying on your backs, looking up at the clouds with the rain still coming down, you heard Bakugo crack a small laugh before standing up and pulling you to your feet.

. After hot showers, you curled up together in his dorm room under a mound of plush blankets.

. He brewed hot tea that you both sipped on while reading your favorite respective mangas listening to the raindrops hitting the glass.

. "Thanks." He'd mutter into your temple after giving you a soft kiss. "Drink up. Don't want my teddy bear getting sick."

Midoriya

. You two were walking back to campus when the rain started coming down, but Midoriya was prepared for it.

. He popped open the All Might themed umbrella he'd been carrying with him all day and pulled you in close.

. Everything had been fine until a gust of sudden wind hit you both by surprise, and in an instant, the umbrella was inside out. Midoriya tried his best to right All Might but it was no use.

. "Plan B, I guess." He wrapped an arm around you and, using his quirk, ran to the nearest coffee shop. "We should wait it out here. If we walk all the way back with no cover we could get sick, and then we'd-"

. You silenced his babbling with a quick kiss turning his cheeks rosy when you praised him for his quick thinking.

. The shop was cozy and smelled inviting. Midoriya wasted no time buying you both something to drink and a pastry to share while you found a booth.

. It took about an hour for the rain to slow to a drizzle. "We could probably go now... if you wanted to."

. You snuggled closer into his side and suggest waiting for a sprinkle of rain rather than a drizzle. And he was happy to oblige.

Kaminari

. This boy was too excited when he woke up and realized rain was really coming down. He threw his covers off himself and got right to work!

. He'd been busy all morning, running around nonstop, and didn't bother to stop when anyone asked him what he was up to.

. Shortly after noon, you get a text from him telling you to meet him in his dorm as soon as possible.

. Thinking something might have been wrong, you dropped whatever you were doing and went straight away.

. When he answered the door, he beckoned you into his room with a flourish. "I might have gone a bit overboard." He chuckled.

. It looked like he stole every available blanket and pillow from the rest of your classmates and constructed the most elaborate fort you'd ever laid your eyes on.

. "We've got board games, card games, video games. And I have stocked up on drinks and snacks..." He jumped up, nearly falling over his own two feet. "I also set this up!" He turned the lights off and turned on a small projector. "Perfect for movies, right babe!"

. He'd really gone and thought of everything.

Kirishima

. Kirishima had been planning on taking you to the zoo for two weeks. It'd been all the guy could think about, and you were equally as excited. So excited, in fact, that neither of you thought to check the weather forecast.

. It started to come down as you drove. "We, well, we could go back to the dorms. Try another time?" He looked so sad even as he suggested doing the thing you both knew was the smarter option.

. That's why when you told him to keep driving, a wide, sharp-toothed smile quickly spread from damn near ear to ear.

. You walked for hours around the zoo in the pouring rain, looking at all the animals, jumping in puddles, and spinning around like idiots.

. By the time you climbed back in the car to head home, his hair was sticking to his forehead, and your shirt was nearly seethrough... and the sniffles began.

. You both shed your wet clothes and climbed into his bed once back in the dorms. Coughing and sneezing messes.

. Bakugo nearly broke down Kirishima's door in sheer annoyance, asking what the both of you had done to get sick and, after hearing the explanation, left to go make you two idiots some soup.

. "I don't regret a single thing." Kiri kissed the tip of your stuffed up nose before eating his soup with another huge smile on his face.

Todoroki

. Rainy days make Todoroki very sleepy. He has a tough time getting out of bed on rainy days and will only make an effort to if it is mandatory.

. It was something about the sound of rain on glass that made his eyes feel heavy and how warm his blanket felt around him.

. When it's almost one in the afternoon and you haven't seen him all day, you decide you should probably check on him. You knock and he tells you it's open.

. You're barely able to see his two-toned hair peeking out from under his blanket and you question what he's still doing in bed. "The rain. I just like staying in bed when it rains. But, I can get up if you wanted me to."

. He starts to crawl out of his cacoon, but you tell him that isn't necessary. Instead, you run back to your dorm, change into comfy clothes and ask to join him in his snuggle cacoon.

. Todoroki welcomes you in with open arms. And after a bit of wiggling, you are securely tucked into his side.

. He opens his phone again, back to the youtube video he was watching and presses play.

. It doesn't take him long to nuzzle into the top of your head, humming contently. "You make rainy days even better."

Sero

. Rainy days have an odd way of making Sero productive.

. His entire room would suddenly be spotless, laundry clean and folded AND put away. He even goes around the common area and picks up any small messes. He doesn't just clean either, his school projects would be done, and he'd be all caught up on any reading too.

. But, when there is nothing else to clean and no more school work. He'd come to find you. "Think you could, uh, slip away to the roof with me, love?

. Under a small overhang, shielded from the rain, Sero would light the blunt he had tucked behind his ear. He'd obviously offer to share if that was something you were in to but if not he'd finish it off by himself.

. It wouldn't take long for your backs to slide down the wall, sitting on the cold roof pressed shoulder to shoulder.

. Your eyes fall shut when Sero's cheek pressed against the top of your head when you rest yours on his shoulder. Closing your eyes, letting the sound of the rain consume you.

. "I could fall asleep up here like this. 'S'nice, Y/N."

. You remind him falling asleep in the cold rain probably wasn't the best idea but you weren't against falling asleep in his bed with the window open...

. "You've got the best ideas."

A/N: I hope you enjoy this maple syrup level fluff. It's been raining here all day and I just wanted to cute headcanons. I also didn't proof before posting so sorry about that. Have a good day, night, afternoon, whatever it might be! :)

#mha #mha reader insert #bnha bakugo katsuki #midoriya izuku #denki kaminari #bnha eijiro kirishima #bnha x reader #bnha #shoto todoroki #sero hanta #headcanon #mha headcanons #bakugo headcanons #midoriya headcanons #kaminari headcanons #kirishima headcanon #todoroki headcanons #sero headcanons #mha x y/n

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hidden-otaku-stuff · 4 years

Text

Lockscreens (ch. 6)

tw: Pining, mentions of alcohol/drinking, gossip, brief mention of slut-shaming

Word count: 6k

Genre: Angst, fluff

All trigger warnings will be tagged and posted at the beginning of each chapter! This will have *manga spoilers*

Pairings: Bokuto x fem!reader, Kuroo x fem!reader

Summary: Nearly four years ago, Bokuto left the love of his life for volleyball. Despite all the time, he’s still very much in love with her. He comes home to a major surprise leaving him wondering…What happened while he was gone?

Masterlist | prev | next

Ch. 6: Is he the father? (20 weeks)

“Hello, my name is (L.Name, Name), but you can just call me (Name). Thank you for taking care of me.” She bowed.

“Welcome to the team, (Name)! We’re so excited to have you join us here.” Aya Nakamura bounded over, eagerly taking (Name)’s hands in her own. Her bouncy brown curls shook in her excitement. “You can just call me Aya, I don’t mind.” Aya was another recreational therapist who (Name) was set to work alongside. “Follow me, I’ll show you around.” Aya let go of her hand, leaving the lobby as she led her through the building. “The first floor is for all of our facilities,” she explained, pointing out the various rooms, “through those doors are our locker-rooms, and past that is the pool. On the other side is the weight room.” They walked past a pair of double-doors, a male walking out of it. “Oh, Makoto! C’mere.”

The male stopped, throwing his towel over his neck. He was wearing a swimsuit. “Hi Aya! Is this the newbie?”

“Hello,” (Name) bowed in greeting again. “I’m (Name). I’ll be in your care.”

Makoto laughed, shaking her hand. “Thanks for joining the team! I’m excited to work with you.” He looked down at Aya, “make sure to add her to the group-chat!”

“Don’t worry, fish-boy, I will.” Makoto laughed again, waving to them as he headed towards the pool.

“Fish-boy?”

“Oh right, Makoto used to be a pretty good swimmer. He switched over to sports medicine though,” Aya waved her hand dismissively, “something about his best friend.” They continued down the hall, passing more doors. “These are the individual training rooms. Each of our clients are granted privacy when it comes to their rehabilitation, unless they’re in the pool and weight room.” (Name) nodded, mentally taking note of everything. She hadn’t realized how immense the facilities were. “There are also dance studios available to the right for yoga and other related activities.”

“This place is so nice!” (Name)’s eyes widened.

“Isn’t it? I love working here.” Aya beamed. “I’ve been here for the past two years, and I can’t imagine being anywhere else.” They arrived at the elevator, taking it up. “So, tell me about yourself, (Name). What made you want to be a recreational therapist?”

(Name) giggled, brushing her hair behind her ear as she adjusted her bag. “Well, all of my friends were in volleyball. I loved watching them being so passionate about something, and after becoming their manager, I realized that I genuinely wanted to be around other people like them. To help them make their dreams come true.” The elevator opened, arriving at the second floor. “That, and I know that I’ll be helping people other than athletes be able to regain normalcy in their lives.”

“That’s so cool! Y’know, one of the other trainers here is actually a former volleyball player. My boyfriend too.”

“Oh really?” They entered the employee space now.

“Yeah! I’ll introduce you to them sometime.” Aya glanced around the lounge. “Anyways, this is the employee lounge. You can come here whenever you have a break to have lunch or whatever. Clients aren’t allowed here.” They walked through a door on the opposite side of the wall. “Here’s the cafeteria. The cafe is only open for breakfast and lunch. If you want dinner, you’ll have to preorder it during breakfast and pick it up before they leave for the evening.” They walked back into the lounge. “Coffee and tea is always available in the lounge, though.” Aya giggled. “We normally don’t have many late-nights, but that also depends on your clients. If you have clients that can only see you in the evenings, then that’s when you’ll see them.”

“That makes sense.” They left the lounge, walking down the hall.

“Here are all of our offices! We each have our own, thank god.” Aya stopped at the first door on the left, opening the door. The door was decorated with flowers, a weekly calendar posted on the wall under her name-plate. Times were blocked off with black blocks, revealing no additional details. “This is my office! If I’m not with a client or I’m just hanging out, then I’ll leave the door open. Please feel free to stop by if you see it open.”

(Name) surveyed the office. There were posters of muscle diagrams, and at Aya’s desk, there were fresh roses. An empty owl coffee mug sat next to it. A familiar face flashed in her mind. She shook her head before offering her new coworker a smile. “Those are lovely flowers, Aya.”

“Aren’t they? My boyfriend dropped them off this morning,” Aya giggled. “He also got me that cute mug!” Aya shut the door, continuing down the hall. “All of the recreational therapists have their office in this hall. The trainers and medics are located in a different wing.” They stopped in front of a door on the right near the end of the hall. “And this is your new office! Make sure to lock it every time you leave and lock your drawers when you aren’t here.” Aya pulled out a key, unlocking it and handing the key over to (Name). “Feel free to get settled and comfortable. Kayda will probably stop by in twenty minutes to introduce you to your first client. She’ll sit in with you on your first few sessions, just to make sure you get the hang of things. I’ll see you at lunch!” With a final wave, Aya left (Name) to her own devices.

The office was nice, albeit small. There was an examination table to the left side of the door with a seat besides the door. On the right wall were cabinets full of medical supplies. Under the counter were drawers for her patient folders. In the corner between the examination table and cabinets was her desk. Two monitors were already set-up with a dock that awaited the new, company-issued laptop that was sitting in her bag. (Name) took a seat, pulling the laptop out and docking it. As she waited for the laptop to connect, she pulled out some more personal items. A box of her favorite pens was tucked into her drawer, alongside with her other stationary items. She placed her purse in the bottom drawer, gently shutting it as she placed the rest of her items out. A leather-bound planner sat beside her. Leaning against the wall was a picture of her and the Nekoma volleyball team from when they won against Nohebi to qualify for the spring tournament. Her fingers traced the familiar faces, landing on her and Kuroo. Kuroo had an arm thrown around her shoulders, pulling her into his chest as he used the other one to pull a reluctant Kenma into the frame. Her heart fluttered. The sound of her laptop booting up shook her out of her reverie. Cracking her knuckles, she logged in. She was so excited for her first day of work!

****

(Name) let out a satisfied sigh as her client left. “Thank you so much, (L.Name)-sama!” He waved, stepping out of her office and heading down the hall.

“You’re doing so well, I don’t think I have to shadow you anymore.”

(E/c) orbs widened at the praise, swiveling in her chair to look at her manager. “Oh really? Thank you so much, Kirishima-san!”

“Please, just call me Kayda,” she laughed, waving her hand. “We don’t need to be so formal amongst each other.” Kayda looked down at her notes. “I don’t have any notes for you, except for you to continue doing as you have been. You’re definitely suited for this type of work, I knew you’d be a great addition to the team after seeing your resume and reading your recommendations.”

“Thank you so much for the opportunity, Kayda!” (Name) chewed her bottom lip. “I appreciate your kindness in taking me in, especially since I’ll be taking a leave so soon after joining.”

“Well, I’ll still have you for a few months before that. Just make sure to continue the good work!” Kayda smiled, standing. “I can already tell that you’re hard-working. Towards the end, you can focus on paperwork and assessments instead of the actual rehabilitation and treatments. We’ll have the trainers and other therapists step in for you.”

(Name) bowed to her manager. “Of course, thank you again!”

“C’mon, let’s go get lunch. I’m sure you’re dying to meet the rest of your coworkers.” Kayda walked towards the door, patiently waiting for (Name) to grab her wrapped lunch box as they made their way to the lounge. Stepping inside, she was quickly greeted by Aya. Aya was sitting with Makoto and another pretty black-haired woman. Where Aya was bubbly and approachable, and Kayda professional and put-together, this other woman could only be described as intimidating.

“(Name)!” Aya waved excitedly, scooting her seat over and putting a seat in between her and Makoto. “Sit here!”

“Hello Aya, hi Makoto.” She bowed, taking the seat.

“(Name), this is Azami!” Aya introduced. Azami looked up, responding with a curt nod.

“Welcome to the team, (Name).” Immediately, Azami went back to her meal. Kayda sat in between Aya and Azami. The group of coworkers settled into an easy-flowing conversation. Aya was busy telling silly stories from outside of work that involved Makoto, and Makoto was busy trying to deny them, cheeks glowing.

“So, (Name), Kayda was telling me that you’re going to be taking leave in a few months?” Their heads snapped to Azami, who had finished her bento. Quiet tension crept through (Name) as she shifted under Azami’s piercing golden gaze.

“Yes,” (Name) swallowed, placing her chopsticks down. “I’ll be leaving for maternity leave in three months.”

Aya - who had been taking a sip of her coffee - choked. “Maternity leave?” She whirled around. “You didn’t tell me you were pregnant!”

“Uh, surprise?” (Name) laughed, a hand affectionately settling on her stomach.

“Who’s the baby-daddy?”

(Name) just winked, pretending to zip her lips. “Secret!” Aya groaned, playfully glaring at the pregnant woman.

“I’ll find out sooner or later,” Aya warned, crossing her arms as she pouted.

“Leave her alone, Aya. If she wants to talk about it, she will,” Makoto chided, eyes sparkling as he gazed at his coworker.

“This is my new work bestie, and I demand to know!” Aya whined.

“I suppose we’re just chopped liver,” Makoto whispers to Azami, who rolled her eyes.

“Guess you’ll just have to wait and see.”

“Alright, lunch is over children.” Kayda stood up, dusting her hands off, her own green eyes sparkling. “Aya, leave (Name) alone. We don’t need to scare off our new RT with your shenanigans.”

“That was one big word, Kayda,” Aya joked, rolling her eyes. They all stood up, making their way out of the lounge after wiping down the table. “See you later!” She cheered, stepping into her office.

Makoto and (Name) made their way down to the hall. “Oh, I guess you’re the office next to me,” Makoto grinned. “Feel free to ping me or knock on my door if you have any questions, or if you need any help.”

“Thanks, Makoto!”

****

(Name) wiped her brow, stepping out of one of the dance studios on the first floor. “Thank you, (L.Name)-san!” She sent the male a friendly wave, watching him leave. He had been having issues with his shoulders and knees due to old volleyball injuries, and she’d brought him into the studio in order to test his mobility.

“Oh, (Name)!” She turned, meeting the bubbly brunette. “Are you finished for the day?”

“Yes, I think so.” She tucked her laptop into her bag.

“Great! Let’s walk out together then.” Aya grinned.

“Ah, let me just wash off real quick.” (Name) gestured towards the restroom. Aya followed her in, leaning against the counter as (Name) washed her hands.

“So, how was your first day?”

“It was great! I know it’s a bit early, but I already feel at home,” (Name) smiled warmly, drying her hands. She pulled out her phone, absent-mindedly staring at the screen. Kuroo grinned back, a dollop of ice cream on his nose. After they’d eaten at the fancy restaurant, he’d taken her to an ice-cream shop. When he’d teased her, she decided to smack his face with ice cream, capturing this silly moment on her camera. “Thank you so much for taking the time to supervise me today.”

The coworkers stepped back into the hall, making their way to the lobby. “Well of course! I told you, you’re my work bestie.” Aya skipped along the hall.

They stepped through the double-doors, swiping out. (Name) stopped, her eyes widening as she looked between her phone and the male. “Kuroo?”

Aya’s head whipped up from her phone at (Name)’s call. “Hey there!” Kuroo was dressed in his standard all-black suit, a red tie contrasting the rest of his outfit. In his arms were a beautiful bouquet of flowers. He offered her a smile.

“I’ll see you later Aya!” (Name) smiled at her coworker, walking towards Kuroo. Aya let out an excited squeal as Kuroo pulled (Name) into a hug, his lips barely brushing against the crown of her head. “You didn’t have to!” She chided, taking hold of his elbow as they left the building.

“Well, I wanted to surprise you after your first day!” As he presented her the bouquet, her eyes softened. Beautiful white lilies and gardenias were surrounded by apple-blossoms and red carnations. “The florist helped me pick this out for you. I hope you like it.” Overwhelmed with emotion, (Name) stepped on her tip-toes, leaning in to capture Kuroo’s lips with hers.

Hazel eyes widened, arms settling loosely around her waist as he gently held her. Kuroo’s lips were soft, tender. Delicate movements waited to match hers. His lips were hesitant, but grew more fierce, moving with hers as the seconds trickled by. It was…intense to say the least. Years of emotions placed into this one searing touch. Could she feel it? Could she feel the years of yearning that Kuroo had, the years of undeniable, pure love that had swept him away, knocking him down every single time the thought of even trying to move on bubbled to the surface? A surge of desperation filled him, praying, hoping that this moment could last forever. That it meant something. Her touch consumed him, her taste intoxicating. The way that her lips moved against his...Was it? Were his feelings returned after all these years? His heart pulsed with hope at the mere thought.

Kuroo pulled away reluctantly as his lungs burned, leaning his forehead against hers. “Let’s head home, yeah?” He breathed, eyes shut as he savoured the moment. The taste of her on his lips and the warmth of her body were the only things on his mind.

His nose brushed against hers in a soft butterfly kiss before (Name) pulled away to look up at him. Warmth spread through her body as (e/c) orbs roamed his face. She adjusted the flowers in her arms before brushing her hair away from her face. “Yeah, let’s do that.” Kuroo gently slipped his hand into hers, grinning as their fingers intertwined. “Y’know, they’re going to think you’re my baby-daddy.” She jerked her head back at the clinic, seeing Aya in the window excitedly pointing and yanking on Makoto’s arm. Both of them were facing Kuroo and (Name). At the sight of them looking, Aya waved aggressively to the duo. Kuroo chuckled, waving at them.

They arrived at his car, him opening the door and helping her in. “I wouldn’t mind that,” he teased. Thump thump. Thump thump. Could she hear the song of hope that his heart drummed?

(Name) hummed, buckling herself in as Kuroo got into the other side of the car. “I suppose we’ll just have to see.” He fiddled with the knobs, putting on some music before his hand found its home on her thigh, absent-mindedly tracing shapes into the soft skin.

****

Three weeks later...

The sound of soft sobs woke Kuroo up. He blinked sleepily at the blue-grey walls, mind wandering for a moment. It always seemed to land on her, even when he’d just woken up. Nothing had really changed between them. In fact, they’d still remained as close as ever except for the domesticity that their friendship had taken. Kuroo would drive her to work - made easier since he worked down the street from her - met her for lunch, took her home, and they’d either take turns making meals or cook dinner together. He’d try to prevent her from doing chores, only to be yelled at for his ‘chivalry’ as she loudly proclaimed that she wasn’t a “useless mother that can’t even do her own laundry”.

Shaking himself out of his reverie, he glanced towards the door and clambered out of his bed, following the sobs that led him to the kitchen. Standing over the kitchen sink, eyes unfocused on a steaming mug of milk and honey, was (Name). “What’s going on?”

His sleepy baritone rumble caused her to jump. Her head shot up, hands following as she brushed away the trickles that cascaded down her cheeks. “Nothing!”

“It’s obviously not nothing if you’re crying.” Kuroo made his way to stand beside her. “Now, what’s going on?” He led her to the table, gently pushing her into the chair he pulled out. Kuroo slid into the one beside her.

“It’s stupid.” She sighed, sitting her mug. Kuroo placed one of his hands on the table, tapping while he waited patiently for her to continue. “It’s just that...one of my coworkers...” (Name) paused, more tears welling up. Kuroo leaned over, grabbing the box of tissues and handing it to her. She blinked with appreciation before taking a deep breath. “I just...Azami said some things to me at lunch the other day, and it just got me thinking. Like, what am I even doing? Why did I start this job when I’m pregnant? Why did I even decide to keep this baby when her father won’t even know about her?” The trickle became a steady stream. She blew her nose. “Will I even have time for my job when she’s born? I don’t want her to grow up alone and unsupported.” Her knuckles turned white as she grasped her mug, chest shaking with suppressed sobs.

“(Name).” Kuroo reached out, grasping one of her hands. Empty eyes stared down at their intertwined hands. Thump thump. “You’re not alone. Nor is our child.” (Name) let out a soft gasp, watery eyes snapping up to meet hazel. “Yes, ours. I don’t care what genes he will have. He is as good as my child as much as he is yours, and I don’t intend on leaving you alone no matter what happens.”

“K-kuroo,” she choked. Thump thump. He squeezed her hand before bringing it to his lips to brush them against her knuckles. (Name)’s eyes squeezed shut as her body trembled from the endearing touch. Thump thump.

“(Name), I promise you. I will never abandon you.” Glowing hazel eyes met hers as he surveyed her. Thump thump. Even when she cried, she was beautiful. Kuroo’s other hand reached out, cupping her face and wiping away the tears. “You’re the hardest working person that I know. If there’s anyone who could raise a child while working, it’s you.” Kuroo stood up, opening his arms slightly. She stood too, leaning her head against his chest as his arms pulled her flush against him. “Now, it’s not like you to crumple at the words of a coworker. What else happened?” His hands rubbed her back comfortingly. Thump thump.

(Name) sniffled, swallowing. “One of my clients was hitting on me, and when he found out I was pregnant, he made some...rude comments. Said that I was committing sins for being unmarried and for leading him on.”

Kuroo’s jaw clenched, eyes flashing dangerously. Thump thump. “Please tell me he’s no longer your client.”

(Name) shook her head, wiping her nose. “He was one of Makoto’s clients. Makoto just asked me to finish his final examination, so I won’t be seeing him again.”

Kuroo wrapped his arms around her, squeezing her tightly. “I’m glad.” He pulled back slightly, looking down at her face. “Don’t hide from me anymore, okay kitten? You know I’m always here for you.” He pressed a chaste kiss to her forehead. Thump thump. She buried her face deeper into his chest. They stood in silence a few moments longer. THUMP THUMP. THUMP THUMP. He cleared his throat, “c’mon, let’s get you to bed, okay?”

“Stay in my room tonight?” His heart softened as (Name) looked up at him with still watery eyes.

“Of course.” Another forehead kiss.

“Y’know,” he traced shapes into her arm, cheeks glowing as he avoided her eyes, “we’re practically dating already.” He took a deep breath, forcing the smirk on his face in an attempt to hide the nerves that threatened to overwhelm him. Thump thump. “I know that we’re already house-mates - albeit temporarily - but would you be interested in being promoted to girlfriend?”

“You’re such a dork, Kuroo.” She rolled her eyes, pressing her hands on his chest.

“But you didn’t say no!” He grinned. Thump thump.

Their eyes met. Thump thump. He was surprised by the fondness and affection that softened her gaze. Thump thump. “We have been acting like a couple now, haven’t we?” She asked in a low tone, her finger mindless tracing shapes on his chest. Thump thump.

Kuroo shrugged, his throat tightening. His heart was screaming at him now. “That’s not an answer, love.”

Her heart skipped a beat, feigning annoyance by rolling her eyes once more. “Because my answer is yes, dumbass.”

She pulled away, stepping on her tip-toes to press a kiss to his lips that was abruptly broken by a sudden movement. They both looked down, shocked. “Was that—” he whispered, a hand outreached slightly.

“She’s kicking.” New tears welled up in her eyes as (Name) straightened. Kuroo maneuvered himself onto his knees, placing his cheek onto her stomach. “Guess she’s happy,” she teased, as he felt another gentle nudge from their baby. Thump thump. He tightened his grip on (Name), pressing a gentle kiss onto her stomach as an unparalleled warmth spreading throughout his body. Thump thump. Everything finally felt right.

****

Meanwhile...

The bass of the speakers caused the entire room to shake. The dim lights hid details as bodies intertwined under the flashing lights. Gold eyes scanned the room half-heartedly. From his perch at the booth, he could see Atsumu with his arms around two girls at the bar. Everyone else - except for Sakusa who wasn’t there - were on the dance-floor. Bokuto couldn’t see the rest of his team-mates. He sighed loudly, though it was barely audible over the music. He glanced down at his drink, swirling the whiskey in the glass.

“Hey, you’re looking a little bored tonight. Why don’t you come with me and we’ll have some fun?” Bokuto sent her a dejected smile, waving the girl off. “Suit yourself.” She stalked off, rejoining her friends who all sent him looks. It had been like that for the past hour or so since they had arrived. Girls had been coming up to him. One had even sat in his lap, giving him a lap-dance, only to get pissed off at him when he showed no inclination of interest. That girl had stormed off. She and her friends ended up glaring at the wing-spiker before being whisked away by the crowd. Bokuto sipped the whiskey, letting the liquid burn his throat. How many had it been now? Four? Five? He had just asked the waitress to keep bringing him drinks whenever his glass was running low. Bokuto glanced down at his phone. A photo of him and (Name) at Spring Nationals stared back at him. She was wearing his jersey, black and gold paint on her cheeks. He was carrying her on his back, legs and arms wrapped around him as he flexed his arms. Bokuto held the screen, watching as the ‘Live’ function activated. He watched over and over again as (Name) kissed his cheek before grinning at the camera. Tonight would’ve been their four year anniversary.

“Are you okay?” He looked up and the air left his lungs. Standing in front of him was a familiar sight. He blinked, shaking his head to clear it from the buzz that had crept in. Gold eyes squinted into (e/c) eyes. A wave of disappointment crashed over him. The sparkle was just...wrong. “Hello?”

Bokuto swallowed. “I’ll be fine.”

She raised her eyebrow before nodding at the empty booth. Mind if I sit with you?”

He eyed her carefully before looking back at his team-mates. It was obvious that they weren’t going to rejoin him anytime soon, and he was tired of dancing around his thoughts of (Name). Another searing sip. She held his gaze steadily as she waited for his verdict. Every time he blinked, he felt like he was staring at (Name) only for a cold bucket of water to be dumped over his head each time he realised that he wasn’t. “Sure.” He conceded finally.

“Thanks.” She slipped into the booth beside him toying with her own glass. “What’s on your mind?”

“Huh?”

“Well, you’ve been sitting here for a while, and all you’ve done is drink. You keep telling the girls off whenever they come over and bother you, so there’s obviously something bothering you.” She took a sip, placing the empty glass down. “So what’s up?”

Bokuto snorted, “I’m not drunk enough for this.”

She snorted in agreement. Raising a hand, she waved the waitress over. “Can he get another coke and whiskey? And I’d like a new gin & tonic as well too.” The waitress whisked the glasses away.

Bokuto eyed the girl. “How long have you been watching me?”

“Not long.” She shrugged. “My friend stopped by earlier, and boy was she pissed when you turned her down.”

“Where’s she at now?” The unnamed girl pointed towards the bar. Bokuto chuckled. Of course she was clinging onto Atsumu’s arms now. Maybe she had a type. “So what are you doing with me? Isn’t there girl-code or something?” Bokuto leaned back in his seat, scanning his conversation partner.

Another shrug as she tossed her hair over her shoulder. “To be honest, clubbing isn’t my scene. I’m going through a breakup right now, and my friends brought me out to get over it but,” she waved her hand, “they ditched me because I wasn’t being any ‘fun’.” At this, the waitress returned, placing the drinks down in front of the duo.

Bokuto looked down at his drink. “That’s what’s on my mind,” he admitted. She raised an eyebrow, stirring her drink. “I was with this girl for years, and I thought that I was gonna marry her and everything. But I ended up running away to chase my dreams and left her behind.”

“If you loved her so much, why did you leave her behind?”

Bokuto shrugged. “I was scared, I guess.” They sat in silence for a moment.

“Well, cheers to our mutual heart-break then.” They tapped their glasses together. Bokuto chugged his drink, finishing it. The almost-familiar eyes bore into his as she turned to fully face him. “If you want...maybe we could forget together.” He licked his suddenly dry lips. She had gotten really close to him, he noticed. Gold eyes drifted down to her lips as he felt the heat from her, her thigh spreading to press against his. One night of distractions couldn’t hurt, he decided as he leaned in.

****

The next day...

The sounds of heels meeting hardwood met their ears as the couple made their way into the all-too familiar izakaya. “There they are!” Lev cheered, gesturing to them with his mug. Kuroo helped her take off her coat, draping it over his arm as they walked over. Lev’s eyes bulged as he scanned them. “(Name)! Are you pregnant?”

Tsukishima cuffed the barely taller male over the head, causing Lev to wince. “Idiot, you can’t just shout that across the bar.” Heads had turned at Lev’s cry. (Name) simply giggled, sliding into the empty seat beside Akaashi.

“Yes, Lev, I’m pregnant.”

“Congratulations!” Lev cheered.

“Congratulations, (Name).” Tsukishima nodded at her.

Kuroo placed her folded up coat onto the bench, shrugging his off and placing it on top of hers. He took the other empty seat by Lev. Tsukishima, Akaashi, and (Name) sat on one side. Tsukishima faced Lev while Akaashi faced Kuroo. This time, they hadn’t left an empty seat for the missing wing-spiker. “Have you guys ordered yet?”

“Only alcohol,” Akaashi grimaced, eyeing Lev’s red face.

“No wonder he seems louder than usual,” (Name) joked, rolling her eyes at the tall male.

“You’re so rude to me, (Name)-san!” Lev whined, pouting. He took another big gulp of his beer, smacking his lips. “So who’s the baby-daddy? Is it Bokuto?”

Kuroo and (Name) exchanged a quick look, unnoticed by most at the table before she let out a soft laugh. “Didn’t you hear Lev? Kuroo and I are together now.” Akaashi and Tsukishima raised their eyebrows, surprised looks crossing their faces. Lev simply cheered for them.

“Oh my god! Since when?” His jaw dropped. “Wait!! Does that mean...you and Kuroo are gonna have a kid?”

“Yes, that’s what that means, Lev,” (Name) replied patiently, sipping her water.

“I’m so happy for you! Kuroo used to go on and on and on about you, everyone in the locker-room used to make so much fun of him.” Lev burped, ignoring the surprised look that crossed her face. Kuroo’s ears began to glow red.

“Oi, shut it,” Kuroo warned, “or I’ll call Yaku.”

Lev started whining to his senpai, causing the other three to roll their eyes. Apparently Lev’s fear of Yaku was still persistent in his life. Tsukishima joined Kuroo in roasting Lev while (Name) turned to the quiet setter besides her. “Akaashi, we missed you last time! How have you been?”

“Not too bad, just busy.” Akaashi sipped his beer. “Congratulations on graduating, (Name)-san. I’m sorry that I missed your party.”

“It’s no biggie, I’m just glad you made it out this time!” Her bright smile filled his vision as he hummed in response. “How’s your program going?” They settled into an easy conversation, though Akaashi was still hesitant. He hadn’t expected this turn of events, and he definitely hadn’t missed that look they had exchanged. They ordered their food, and the males ended up going through another two pitchers of beer as the night went on.

“Excuse me guys! I’ll be right back babe.” (Name) stood, kissing Kuroo’s cheek before she waddled towards the restroom.

Akaashi turned to Kuroo. “Kuroo-san, may I speak to you?” Luckily, the rest of the guys were busy talking to each other. Hazel eyes bore into blue as Kuroo nodded slowly, swirling his glass. “Is that your child?”

“He is now.”

If the setter was surprised, he didn’t show it. “Does Bokuto-san know?”

“She found out the day he announced his deal.” Kuroo sipped his beer, eyes drifting back to the rest of their company. Lev and Tsukishima were in a heated argument about which was the best dinosaur. Lev was simply arguing in order to get a rise out of Tsukishima. Akaashi nodded slowly, his eyes fixed on Kuroo.

“He would’ve sacrificed anything for her.”

Kuroo sighed. “And she did just that for him.” Glowing hazel met steady gunmetal blue. “He would’ve sacrificed his entire career for her, and he would’ve been unsatisfied with life. This could’ve been his only chance to go pro, and she was not about to let him squander his dreams for her.” Kuroo’s face softened. “Even at the price of her own, she chose his happiness.”

“(Name)-san was always too kind for her own good,” Akaashi mused, sipping his own drink.

“(Name)-san, are you alright? You don’t look well.” Akaashi’s brow furrowed as he looked at the girl. Sweat beaded along her forehead as she panted heavily. The black and gold paint on her cheeks barely hid the redness.

Sluggishly, she waved a hand. “I’ll be okay, ‘Kaashi! This is more important.” (Name) leaned against the setter, and he winced at the heat.

“Are you sure? It looks like you have a fever.”

(Name) nodded, wiping her forehead with the back of her hand. “G-gotta be.” Even her voice was hoarse.

“Nickname!” At the sound of Bokuto’s voice, (Name) completely straightened, a smile forcibly spreading across her face.

“Kou!” She squealed. Bokuto swept her into his arms, swinging her around.

“You came!”

“Of course I did. I had to see my best friend playing in the finals!” Akaashi’s eyes widened slightly, impressed. It was barely noticeable that just moments ago she was feeling ill. Even the lilt in her voice had been banished.

“You’re the best,” Bokuto cheered, nuzzling into her neck.

Akaashi stepped away, heading towards the managers with a soft shake of his head. “Is (Name) ok? She looked really sick a few moments ago.” He could only shrug at Kaori’s question. “Poor girl,” she clicked her tongue.��

“(Name)’s here?” Yukie asked, glancing over as her brow furrowed. “That’s a surprise.”

Kaori and Akaashi looked over at Yukie. “Why’s that?” Kaori tilted her head.

“Kuroo said she caught a fever the other night. Something about a breakdown, her going out to comfort somebody at 3 AM and forgetting a jacket.”

Kaori clicked her tongue again. “She’s really too nice.” They watched as Bokuto swung her around over and over again. (Name) looked vastly uncomfortable up until Bokuto put her down to hand her his spare jersey. As soon as he had put her down, a wide smile overtook her features. All signs of discomfort vanished. Akaashi shook his head. She really needed to stop sacrificing herself for everyone.

Akaashi sighed, swirling his cup and watching the bubbles. “Under different circumstances, I would want to tell him. He has the right to know.”

“If you tell him now, you risk jeopardizing that future that she gave to him. And if he were to suddenly appear in her life again, who knows what type of stress that’d put on her and the baby?” Akaashi simply hummed in response, fingers tapping against his glass. Kuroo licked his lips before sighing. “For her sake, can you please not tell him? After he’s born, I’ll talk to her about getting Bokuto involved.”

Akaashi sighed. “For their own good.” Kuroo’s face relaxed into a pleasant smile.

“Thank you, Akaashi.” Kuroo stood up. “I’ll be right back,” he promised, before he too made his way to the restroom. A sleek black phone lit up on the table. Glancing at it, Akaashi let out a soft chuckle. The familiar faces of (Name) and Kuroo stared back at him, and she looked beyond happy. The former setter couldn’t remember ever seeing her face as bright as it did in that photo. He had always known that Kuroo had been in love with the former Nekoma manager. Anyone just watching their interactions could see that. Throughout the conversation, Akaashi had kept that in mind, wondering if Kuroo was being selfish about his intentions. He bit his bottom lip as he contemplated the news. Though Bokuto was one of his closest friends, Akaashi had quickly become close to the spunky girl that had captured his friend’s heart. They all deserved to be happy, and it seems that Kuroo and (Name) were happiest together. He nodded to himself, turning his attention back to the quarreling pair. It was for the best that they remained together. He only prayed that Bokuto would be able to find his own happiness.

Fun facts

💟 There were still some of Bokuto’s owl mugs at (Name)’s house

💟 In high-school, photos of the Nekoma volleyball team were (Name)’s lockscreen until their third-year when Kuroo got annoyed and changed her background to a photo of just them as Captain and Manager. He claims that he had priority as her best friend.

💟 Aya really wanted a female best friend, but was terrified of Azami and had too much respect for Kayda so she was extra excited when she found out (Name) was joining the team

💟 Aya’s name means ‘colorful, beautiful’, Azami means ‘thistle flower, greatest’, Makoto means ‘sincerity, truth’, and Kayda means ‘Little Dragon’ or ‘Princess of God’

💟 Every time they went to get dessert, a bit of it would end up on Kuroo’s face because he would either try to steal (Name)’s dessert or make fun of her

💟 Kuroo had taken a floral arrangement class as a GE and learned about the meaning of flowers through it. He forgot that (Name) had also taken that class a different semester so she also knew the meaning of the flowers he’d gotten

💮 White lilies: “My love is pure”

💮 Apple blossoms: “I prefer you before all”

💮 Red carnations: “My heart aches for you”

💮 Gardenias: secret love

💟 There were mutual feelings of alterous attraction between (Name) and Kuroo - meaning that they’d both be okay whether they were platonic friends or romantic partners. (Name) just didn’t know the second part.

💟 Kuroo thought he was doing her a favor by doing the chores, but once he got his butt kicked, he remembered how much (Name) hates depending on people

💟 Even though they’ve been friends for so long, it was still rare for Kuroo to see her crying. She typically tried to cry alone in her room

💟 This was the first time that Hikori kicked

💟 Bokuto took up drinking about a week after (Name)’s graduation

💟 Bokuto wasn’t really sure why he kept changing his background photo

💟 Most people had figured out that (Name) and Bokuto had separated. They just didn’t know why. Lev was one of the only exceptions to this

💟 Both Kuroo and (Name) were posting on social media, but a majority of people chalked it up to their long-term friendship

💟 Bokuto still doesn’t know that (Name) had a fever during that game

💟 (Name) had gone out late at night to comfort Shibayama who was feeling very insecure and unprepared to take on the role as libero after Yaku

AN: This was my favorite chapter of Lockscreens to write! did you enjoy that little ‘Free!’ cameo 😜

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abyssmail · 3 years

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Caerul Design Notes,

because I’ve actually put a lot of thought into creating Caerul’s aesthetic and I’m lowkey really proud of it. I won’t get into her actual character concept/personality/backstory/etc. since this got super long, but this is how/why I made the choices I did with regards to her name and visual design!

▶ Caerul’s color scheme started off way bluer (hence the name “Caerul,” from caeruleus/a/um - “blue”/“cerulean”/“azure”/“of the sky/sea” in Latin) and less saturated, but when I gave her a (dead) twin with a red theme, I wanted them to look more alike and made both of their hair purple (although I haven’t actually done more than sketch Roseus before... he’s got purple hair and red eyes). Purple’s my favorite color, and unnatural hair colors don’t seem to be uncommon in Orth, so why not, right? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ The red elements in Caerul’s design are meant to represent her honoring Roseus!

All of the base colors I use when drawing Caerul! They all end up looking a bit darker once they’re shaded though.

▶ As well as shamelessly using one of my favorite Latin words (I’m a Classics major, okay ;;>~>), I also tried to pick a name that sounded similar to the ones that already exist in-universe. This was actually fairly tricky, since as far as I can tell the names in Made in Abyss have a WIDE variety of influences. Some of them seem passably Japanese-sounding (Riko, Jiruo, Kiyui, Nanachi) disclaimer I bring dishonor to my ancestors and know 0 Japanese so this is just about vibez, others seem Western-ish (Reg, Nat, Lyza, Prushka). Some are fairly whimsical (Shiggy, Maruruk, Mitty) while others are more mysterious and fantastic (Any of the White Whistles besides maybe Lyza). The only common thread I could really settle on was a general fantasy feeling to all of the names. I tried to capture that nebulous vibe with Caerul’s name, although with something so vague and subjective it’s pretty much impossible to say if I was entirely successful. I named her siblings afterward with other Latin color words and ended up with a RGB theme lol.

▸ By the way, “Caerul” is pronounced “KAI-rool.” It rhymes with “Hyrule.” The ae diphthong makes an “eye” sound in Latin #TheMoreYouKnow

▸ “Caducalae” is a portmanteau of “caducae alae,” literally “falling/doomed/futile wings” in Latin (again), playing off how pointless it is to be able to fly when the Curse of the Abyss is a thing. Originally, they weren’t supposed to work at all outside of the Abyss, but I decided that was boring for crossovers/other verses so I scrapped it. I’m not too happy with the name since it doesn’t fit the naming scheme of the canon relics (there is no precedent at all for gratuitous Latin in Made in Abyss, which is a good thing because it’s overused in fantasy, but Latin was the only thing I was good at in high school sooooo... ^^;), but I didn’t like any of my other ideas that much, either. “Wings of Futility” feels more canon, but it’s also kinda depressing :/

▶ I’ve mentioned before that Caerul’s build is based off of mine for art reference purposes (it’s convenient to just look in the mirror while making the pose I want =w=)b), but another reason she’s so short is that I didn’t have to make the caducalae quite as big since she’s smaller, so she can actually go indoors if she’s careful.

▶ Long hair isn’t super practical with mechanical wings with lots of bits for it to get caught in, but Caerul idolizes Lyza, so I left her hair as long as I could reasonably get away with.

▶ I heavily referenced the canon Made in Abyss character designs for Caerul’s clothing so she would fit into the world, but made some alterations to make everything more personal to her and accommodate for her wings. In general, I lightened everything up, since she takes a bunch of short, quick trips rather than lengthy expeditions. Her gloves, for instance, are loosely inspired by the ones we see many delvers wearing in the manga/anime, but are less heavy-duty and are convertible mittens/fingerless gloves for better dexterity with handling letters and such.

The best close up of the gloves I could find was actually a screenshot of the aftermath Reg & Riko’s orb piercer encounter, but I didn’t want to have to tag this for gore, so you get Lyza ^^; There’s a filter over Caerul here so you can see the glove better which is why she looks kinda washed out :/

▶ Her coat is heavily influenced by Jiruo’s, since he’s the only Moon Whistle we’ve seen in canon.

yeah, uhhhh, sorry to yoink your style my dude ^^;

▸ Caerul’s has a different color palette, a simpler lapel border, an extra set of outer pockets, and three separate panels in the back that button around her wings so she can put it on! I haven’t drawn it, but her shirt works similarly.

This is my favorite detail about her design tbh... it’s just really satisfying what a logical solution it is for some reason??? the original doodle is off rotting somewhere in my Modern European History notes, but I tried to recreate it just as sloppily here =w=)b

▶ Caerul’s corset isn’t just a painful fashion choice - it’s actually meant to be a(n admittedly heavily stylized) brace for her back against the weight of her wings.

▶ Since Caerul can’t wear a backpack with the wings, I had to get creative with storage options for her. In addition to an undetermined number of pockets on the inside of her coat, I gave her these two pouches on her thighs to carry more stuff.

I wonder how buff your quads could get carrying a significant amount of weight there...

▸ Messenger bags don’t seem super practical for delving, so I didn’t design a specific one for her to carry all the time, but Caerul does use them on occasion. Even with that, though, she still has far less carrying capacity than the average delver, which is a problem she has to deal with when carrying out her duties!

▶ The wings/caducalae were by far the most difficult part of designing Caerul, and it took several redesigns over 2+ years before I was finally happy with them. Their first design was deliberately far simpler in the interest of having to draw them a zillion times, but they ended up clunky and unwieldy looking:

chonky o~O

▸ The final design is MUCH more of a pain to draw (in fact, a lot of the time I cheat and just copy and paste them from drawings I’ve already done), but I think it looks much sleeker and more “functional”.

I also got better at making my diagrams look slightly more authentic ;0

▸ I knew I wanted jetpack-style thrusters to be a component of the wings to somewhat justify the shit I wanted Caerul to be able to pull with them (especially to eliminate the need for accounting for the damage landing suddenly could do to her ankles), but incorporating them proved to be one of the biggest problems of the design. At one point, they were going to have a whole separate attachment point on her back, but I finally just made them an offshoot of the first “joint,” as you can see in the final design.

A really messy intermediate caducalae sketch. The weird double pentagon shape was meant to be the part of the relic actually fused to Caerul’s back, but I scrapped that too when I scrapped the separate limbs for the thrusters.

▸ Speaking of the joints, they’re all balls so they can rotate all over and I don’t have to fuss too much about how they move. Likewise, the frame is metal, but I treat it like it’s kind of flexible, so Caerul can “flex” the wings open and closed. These wings are hard enough to draw period okay I’m giving myself every excuse to be inconsistent af on purpose.

▸ The caducalae have some “bonus” features that I’ve sketched out, but that Caerul hasn’t unlocked yet, and won’t for a while.

owo what’s this?

▸ For the wings, I think my biggest inspirations were some of the mechier Cardfight!! Vanguard dragon units (although I don’t remember which cards specifically) and the energy wings on the ninth-generation knightmares in Code Geass R2.

I’ve made a lot of OCs, and since I don’t like to use faceclaims, I’ve done a fair amount of character designing. I don’t think I’ve ever spent as much time or had as much fun with any of them as I have with Caerul, though! OCs aren’t always super well accepted in fandom roleplay, but the Made in Abyss community has been super welcoming and I’ve had a blast. Thanks for listening to me gush about Caerul if you got this far, and thank you to everyone who’s interacted with her!

The original sketch of Caerul from back in 2017. How far we’ve come :’D

#miscellaneous info #mun art #appearance #ooc #((no one cares lol))#((but I had fun putting all my thoughts down in writing ^^;))#((also! the full version of the new caerul art from the promo!))

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jackcinephile · 4 years

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L'Inferno (1911) Movie Review!

As promised, we're gonna be celebrating this Spooky Season with a Devilman Crybaby headcanon! In order to fully express my HC, I will be reviewing icons of horror cinema and literature that helped contribute to many of the themes and ideas that are prevalent in Go Nagai's original manga. So, without further ado, let us descend into the Blind World. Put all fear and cowardice aside. I will be your guide through this eternal place, where you shall hear the shrieks and see the tormented spirits who all bewail the second death.

And how appropriate? Because our first film is the 1911 adaptation of The Inferno by Dante Alighieri. I suppose it's only right to begin this saga of horror films with one of the first horror films ever made. Okay, "first horror film" is actually debatable, so keep in mind that I said "ONE of the first." In any case, it remains one of the most important landmarks in horror cinema.

"Stopped, in the middle of what we call life,

I looked up and saw no sky, but rather a dense cage of leaf and tree and twig,

For I was lost."

The film opens as the iconic poem does. Dante Alighieri is a middle-aged man who finds himself lost in a dark, gloomy forest. This opening of the story always had a way of making me feel somewhat lonely and isolated. In my interpretation, I always saw this forest as being symbolic of how Dante felt after the death of Beatrice. Allow me to explain...

For those who don't know, Dante met a young girl named Beatrice when they were both nine years old. The young boy immediately fell in love with her, even though they hardly interacted. Despite their lives continuing in separate directions, Beatrice had always and forever held a special place in Dante's heart. When he received word that she had died, Dante was absolutely devastated. He felt that she deserved to be immortalized in what he intended to be his magnum opus; The Divine Comedy.

I believe that this opening to the Inferno is actually Dante going to a journey to find Beatrice so that he could say goodbye to her. Along the way, he got lost, both literally and spiritually. That, in my opinion, is what this forest symbolizes. In many ways, this opening kind of reminds of the opening to Silent Hill 2, just from how dismal it is.

Having said all that, I think the film does a very poor job of conveying those emotions. Sadly, I just don't feel any of the despair that was present in the original poem. He just wanders around for a few seconds, then steps out into a clearing. But don't worry! As soon as Dante steps into the clearing, the film IMMEDIATELY gets better. Upon entering this clearing, Dante finds himself at the base of, what I believe to be, Mount Purgatory. I can only assume that's where he is, because the gates of Hell are at its base, and Dante seems to suggest the gates of heaven are at its summit, just like Purgatory. Unfortunately, his path is blocked by three ravenous beasts: a leopard, a lion, and a she-wolf, all representing different Earthly sins. He runs back the way he came, before being rescued by a strange apparition. It's here that the film begins to remind us all of why the original poem is regarded as a self-insert fanfic...

Upon introducing himself to the apparition, Dante learns that it is the actually the ghost of Virgil, author of the Aeneid. The significance of Virgil being in the story is that he was Dante's favorite poet of all time, and Dante always longed to meet and interact with him. It's literally a self-insert fanfic of Dante meeting and interacting with all of his inspirations. It's honestly a mystery to me why I love The Inferno so much, because it's everything I hate! It's a Catholic's fanfic about why he sees himself and his friends as morally superior and why everyone he ever disagreed with is going to Hell. Somehow, in spite of all that, I still love it.

So why did Virgil even decide to help Dante in the first place? Well, remember when I talked about Beatrice dying? It turns out, she descended from Heaven into Hell to ask him for help, because she knew how important he was to Dante. She tasked Virgil with being Dante's guide, after seeing that he has gone astray.

This is where the film's innovation starts to take shape. Beatrice has often been drawn as having a halo around her head. The problem is, how do you show that in a film made in 1911? The effect was strikingly realized with, what I assume to be, spinning rods covered in reflective material. I can only guess this is how it was done, but it appears right to me, because that's how a similar effect was created for the lightsabers in the original Star Wars. It looks like the rods were placed behind the actress, so that the rig couldn't be seen, making it appear as if the light was emanating from her head. This scene also displays an early appearance of wire work on film. In those days, that shit wasn't easy. It was even harder to hide the effect, which this film does fairly well.

So, Virgil explains to Dante that he must take him on a pilgrimage through the three different stages of the afterlife. To be perfectly honest, I never understood why. Maybe I'm just an idiot with little to no reading comprehension. It's also a factor that I haven't read parts II and III of the Divine Comedy, so maybe it's elaborated better in there. From what I gathered, since Dante is going on a journey to find the literal Stairway to Heaven (Led Zeppelin intensifies) Virgil needs to take him to Hell and Purgatory, so he can face his sins and better appreciate Paradise. And thus, Virgil's pilgrimage to lead Dante through the Afterlife begins!

"Through me, the way to the City of Woe

Through me, the way to everlasting pain

Through me, the way among the people lost

Divine Power made me

Eternal I endure

Abandon Hope, all ye who enter here"

That is the inscription above the Gates of Hell. It is here, that Dante is already planning on turning back. Virgil literally tells him to stop being a pussy, and I was satisfied. Once they enter the gates, it becomes apparent to the viewer, if it hasn't already, that this isn't just an adaptation of Dante's work. This film is actually a cinematic translation of the ICONIC illustrations by Gustave Dore that were created in the middle of the 19th century. So much care and detail was put into recreating his AMAZING artwork, that many consider to be his magnum opus. This film was basically the Zack Snyder's Watchmen of its day!

Those familiar with the story will recognize this iconic scene that is being recreated onscreen. Dante and Virgil have come to the shores of Acharon, where the souls of the damned board Charon's vessel to be taken before Judge Minos, who lives in Limbo.

Speaking of Limbo, that is the first spiral of Hell Dante visits. This is where good people who weren't Christians come to face eternity. Their punishment is meant to be the denial of Paradise, but if you ask me, it doesn't seem so bad. Apparently Dante felt the same way, because this is where he meets his other great inspirations, such as Homer and Ovid! The poets all enjoy their visit together before Virgil must take Dante on his way. This is honestly the part that makes me cringe the most. Nothing reeks of self-insert fanfic more than meeting your idols and being greatly respected by all them. This is exactly why I abandoned my Silent Hill fanfic.

Anyway, Minos's throne lies at the lower boarder of Limbo. The king himself appears as a giant naked bearded man with a snake tail. The tail is used to determine the punishment of sinners by wrapping around Minos's own neck multiple times. However many times the tail coils determines which spiral the sinner is sent to.

And here we get to my favorite scene in the whole film: Lust! This spiral perfectly displays the true innovation of special effects. In this spiral, sinners are punished by being caught in a tumultuous whirlwind. The wind symbolizes the tumultuous feelings that arise between lustful lovers. It's one of Dore's best illustrations, and it blows my mind that the filmmakers were able to recreate it so well!

Our two pilgrims move onward to the Spiral of Gluttony, where we come across Cerberus. He guards this spiral, but Virgil subdues him by throwing a clump of dirt in his face (still more respectful than Lore Olympus). Honestly, Gluttony is nothing to write home about. It's just a raining landscape with people laying in the mud. Still, I have to give credit for the meticulous recreation of Dore's art!

Down in Greed, who else do we find guarding this spiral, other than Plutus?

SIDE NOTE: I've read a very strange "translation" of his dialogue. The original line reads, "Pape Satan, Pape Satan, allepe!" Strangely, no one seems to agree on what exactly this means, so most translations are different. Particularly, in the case of Douglas Neff, he translates "Pape" to "Papa," which is strange because "Pape" means "Pope" in Itialian. Then, he changes "allepe" to "you are my king." Let's also not forget that Plutus was also occasionally used as an epithet for Hades and/or Pluto. This means Douglas Neff literally wrote Hades to say, "Daddy Satan, I worship you" (still more respectful than Lore Olympus)!

In the Spiral of Greed, the sinners are forced push heavy sacks of gold around for eternity. Once again, this scene is nothing special, but still an admirable recreation of the illustrations that inspired it.

The next scene, however, shows off more of the innovative talent that makes this film so amazing! Virgil and Dante move on to the Spiral of Anger, where the sinners are punished by being submerged in the black sludge of the River Styx. The only way across is by boat. This is where Phlegyas comes in. The two poets stand by a giant tower which they use to signal for passage to the City of Dis. Along the way, the boat is stopped by Dante's political and intellectual rival, Philipo Argenti. It's here that one realizes just how petty Dante truly was. "Oh, I disagree with you politically. Therefore, you deserve to drown in sludge for all eternity!" He sounds like people I used to know. Hell, he sounds like me in high school!

All while this is going on, we see an amazing special effect of a double exposure of Dis in the background. It's an amazing miniature of the city's outer wall, optically printed to take up the entire top half of the screen.

Finally, they make it to the other side of the river, where we actually get a cameo by Hades' and Persephone's children! No, not Zagareus, Makaria, and Melinoe. None of those people were Hades' and Persephone's children. I'm actually referring to the Erinyes (also known as, the Furies). They block Dante's entrance to the city's gates, so Virgil calls upon the aid of an Archangel to rid them of the Furies. It is here that Dante asserts the superiority of Christianity over the Hellenistic faith (still more respectful than Lore Olympus).

Within the City of Dis, Hell begins to look more like how we always imagined, with fire and brimstone. In the Spiral of Heresy, sinners are stuffed into eternally burning ovens embedded in the ground.

Beyond that is the only omitted sequence from the poem. In the original Divine Comedy, the Spiral of Violence is originally guarded by the Minotaur! Beyond that are sinners, stewed in a boiling river of blood (The Phlegethon). On the banks, we see a heard of Centaurs practicing their archery on them. These are the individuals who were violent towards other people. In order to cross the river of blood, Dante and Virgil must ride on the back of one of the centaurs. You know, having heard of centaurs' notorious reputation for being horrible rapists, it makes me concerned for the sake of our Pilgrims. Maybe they didn't include this in the film because they couldn't figure out how to make a centaur?

On the other side of the Phlegethon, Violence continues into the suicide forest (*Logan Paul reference here*). Here is where sinners, who were violent against themselves, are punished. Once judged to this spiral, they grow into trees. The symbolism being that trees are a symbol of life, of which these sinners have deprived themselves. I'm surprised this scene isn't more controversial. After all, seeing as how seriously mental health has been taken recently, it's fucking awful to tell someone they're going to Hell for committing suicide! As a peice of horrific imagery, I love this scene, but knowing that Dante actually believed this makes me despise it.

In addition to being a horrifying concept, this scene also includes one of the first instances of bloodshed in a horror film. Virgil explains to Dante that he can speak with the sinners if he breaks one of their branches. When he does, blood sprays out of the tree like a drinking fountain!

After a brief conversation with the sinners, Dante moves on to the final section of violence, where people were violent against God. Here the sinners are punished in a desert that perpetually rains fire.

Now, not every special effect in this film is good. Because when Dante rides down to the eighth spiral on Geryon's back, it is such a stiff, unnatural, badly puppeteered marrianet that they couldn't even keep stable for the shot!

"There is a place in Hell called the Malebolge..."

Now, we get to my favorite part of the whole poem: The Spiral of Fraud. Here the deceivers are punished in a myriad of ways, depending on how they lied to others.

In the first Spiral of the Malebolge, those who pander towards others are mercilessly whipped for all eternity. This marks the first appearance of the classic image of the winged demons that we all know and love.

In the second spiral, the flattererers bathe in a stagnant pond of their own feces and vomit. This symbolizes the value of the words that they spew at other people. I think this might be where the expression, "You're full of shit," came from. Think about it; you say that to people whom you think are lying to you, and this is in the Spiral of Fraud.

Incidentally, this punishment was referenced in a Turkish horror film called Baskin -- a film about a small group of off-duty police officers who crash their car and wake up in Hell. In that film, the main characters realize they're in Hell when they find demon raping someone, while shoving her face in a bowl of her own face and vomit. Baskin is not a part of this HC, so I'll have to talk about it later. For now, I'll just say it's one of the best horror films I've ever seen!

In the third spiral, those who joined the Catholic Church for their own personal gain are buried head first, with their feet sticking out in the air.

In the fourth spiral, fortune tellers have their heads turned backwards. This prevents them from looking forward, symbolizing their attempts to see into the future.

In the fifth spiral, the sinners are repeatedly dipped in boiling tar. This scene is especially interesting because it shows that the demons we see aren't actually monsters. They're just creatures doing their jobs, punishing sinners. In fact one of the demons named Malecoda assigns a group of demons to help escort Dante and Virgil through the rest of the Malebolge. That, unfortunately, doesn't work out, however, because the demons are distracted by a sinner trying to escape, so Dante and Virgil move on alone. What's also unfortunate, is that other demons, who assume that Virgil and Dante are also sinners trying to escape, chase them into the next spiral. Luckily, each demon is confined to their own spiral, so they can't keep chasing them.

In the sixth spiral, the hypocrites are forced to wear robes made of solid gold. They also find Caiaphas nailed to the ground. As someone who has Jesus Christ Superstar on his top three list of favorite albums, I was happy to see Caiaphas get referenced.

In the seventh spiral, the thieves are bound by snakes, whose venom causes them to burn to ashes. One thief in particular gets attacked by a giant lizard that makes him into a lizardman (someone tell Alex Jones).

In the eighth spiral, the false advisors are eternally engulfed in flames.

In the ninth spiral, the sowers of discord are viciously mutilated. My favorite part about this scene is that it's one of the first instances of gore in a horror movie. The prophet Muhammad has been cloven from his belly to his throat with his guts spilling out all over the place. That's right! Muhammad is depicted in the Inferno. Not only that, but Gustave Dore drew him. Damn. Dante has no chill. Hey, the founder of the most homophobic religion in the world rots in eternal Hell? I'm not complaining! This kinda makes up for the portrayal of suicide victims.

In the tenth spiral, the falsifiers are punished with enternal leprosy.

At last, we make it to the Spiral of Treachery, at the center of the earth. Here, the traitors are frozen within the Lake Cocytus.

"Lo! Dis Himself!

Emperor of the Kingdom of Woe"

Finally, at the climax of this horrific epic, we see Satan, and it's not what you're expecting! He is in the very center of the lake, frozen up to his waist in ice, and forced to eat the three greatest traitors of all. His body is covered in course fur, and he has three heads and six wings. Satan's appearance in this story is disarming and almost pathetic in a way. You'd imagine Satan to be this fearsome king, but he's just shown to be suffering like everyone else. It's kind of sad, really.

The film ends with Dante and Virgil climbing down Satan's leg fur and ending up at the base of Mount Purgatory.

L'Inferno is one of the first true masterpieces of horror! It's hard to believe that this movie is almost 110 years old! Just think of how it would have been to see it in theaters for the first time when it was new. We owe it to this film for proving the language of Cinema could be used to tell the most epic stories possibly conceived.

You can watch the film for yourself here:https://youtu.be/cMUPbPOGPdM

youtube

Now, you're probably thinking, "What the Sam Fuck does any of this have to do with Devilman Crybaby?" Well, for starters, in Go Nagai's original manga, the character Asuka Ryo implies that Dante's Divine Comedy might have been based on a true story. This is futher validated when the demon Xenon appears and bears a strong resemblance to Dante's description of Satan. But beyond the surface-level details, let's discuss some of the deeper implications of what Hell actually is. Within this headcanon, the Afterlife is an entirely separate dimension, occupying the same space as our Earth, but invisible to our eyes. There is a way, however, to see and explore this separate dimension. You see, when different dimensions intersect at certain angles, they sometimes leave gaps through which we can come through and cross over to the other dimension. It was through one of these gaps that Virgil was able to find Dante. These angles and gaps between dimensions will be further explored in a later film.

#dante's inferno #dante's divine comedy #l'inferno #devilman crybaby #devilman crybaby headcanon #Youtube

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theanimeview · 3 years

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Aniplex Online Fest - How to Produce an Anime - Notes!

1:00 PM - 2:00 PM (PDT) | Aniplex Live Stream | Sunday 5 July 2020

Panel Description: Anime producers will talk about behind the scenes of anime production. Master of Ceremonies/Host: Hisanori Yoshida Guests: Shizuka Kurosaki (Aniplex, Producer) Masami Niwa (Aniplex, Producer), Atsushi Kaneko (A-1 Pictures, Producer), Toshikazu Tsuji (CloverWorks, Producer)

Credit: Casea Mhtar | @madamekrow & Peggy Wood | @peggyseditorial

How Do You Produce An Anime?

Here’s the process for an anime: first proposal, the script, the storyboard, the key animation, painting, compositing, editing, and recording and that’s when it’s ready to be shown.

Step 1: Planning

There are mainly three different ways that proposals tend to come in during this planning stage. The first is when the publisher tells us about one of their hit products (games, a manga, etc.) and they ask us about adapting it into an anime. The second is when we find a series we like from a light novel or manga we’re reading already. Like, “Hey, this is cool!” Then we ask the publisher/get their permission to make the anime. The third is when a producer from an anime studio, or a director, or a staff member brings us something that they personally want to do. These are the most likely ways we come to a proposal for a new series and, of them, the third probably happens the most often.

Next comes the decision stage. A few more patterns emerge when we’re discussing whether to adapt or create an original series.

With originals, you are starting from scratch so the project is much more involved and time-consuming. Generally, a lot of staff members are involved and all of them want different things and, on top of that, the producer’s job is to make sure it does well. That it sells well, that it’s received well, that the team feels good or great about the project, and so on. So we have to find a way to respect everyone’s vision, while also guiding the project to profitability, which is pretty demanding. This also includes what I want to do as a producer. It’s fun to create something from scratch, but it also comes with so much risk. For example, originals don’t have a built-in fanbase, they don’t have the same support.

Shizuka Kurosaki provides an anecdotal example of a series he started 8 years ago that he is still working on from time to time. According to him, the series is still nowhere close to being produced. It’s just a sign of how hard it is to get it all to come together, especially when things change as time goes on.

Adaptations are different but still tough and demanding. First, you have great source material. Naturally, there are fans of the source material with what they want for the original. When we depict it through anime, there are things that were fine in the source but have to be changed for animation. We are pretty sensitive about how the original’s fans would see the results of our decision-making. Needless to say, that is a struggle that we don’t face when creating an original anime.

One of the hardest parts about adaptations is that novels and manga, which are largely still images and text, as opposed to anime, which is video, all have different rules of depiction. And when the time comes for us to make changes, we’re presented with options. Depending on what the scene is, certainly, some viewers will say, “Why couldn’t you just stay faithful to the original?” However, there are also times when changing it to be more anime-like gives it a shot of energy absent from the printed version. There's really no right answer so the process is like groping around in the dark and hoping that you find what works.

Producers don’t tend to have a lot of free time and when they do, like Masami Niwa mentioned, it’s mostly spent on things that will help at work. For example, reading what’s trending in novels or manga, watching movies, and even other animes from other companies. While it may seem like entertainment and is often enjoyable, these all serve one’s work as a producer in the field.

Step 2: Scripting

Generally, a “scenario meeting” or script meeting is held first. It’s when we look at what a writer has come up with and plan out some “book reading time.” For adaptations, it means reading the source text(s). Additionally, the planning producers and animation producers hold these meetings where the discussions start with talking about the potential series and gathering the team/assembling our staff. We already have a director in place by the time we have the first script meeting. The script is only done once the staff, including the director, gathers and is written.

Live-action scripts have hardly any screen direction when compared to anime scripts. Anime scripts are packed full of exposition. In the case of live-action scripts, if it’s like an ordinary office story. You pretty much recreate normal life. Whereas in an anime script, even if it’s an ordinary office story, there might be an employee with mind-blowing supernatural abilities. To depict something that doesn’t exist in real life, you need screen direction. And in the eyes of someone from another industry, I think it would seem like a really complex script because of the sheer amount of detail regarding action, layout, and such.

Step 3: Storyboarding

The storyboard is drawn from the script. Normally, the director draws the storyboards. But since the number of episodes keeps increasing for TV series, lately we’re seeing several storyboard artists dividing the labor.

Here are some samples of storyboards from Saekano the Movie: Finale, one of Toshikazu Tsuji’s past projects shared with the panel:

Envelopes like these, sometimes referred to as “shot envelopes” contain the layout drawings and artwork that become the key animations and in-betweens of individual scenes. By the end, all the materials that make up each scene and the finished ones are all inside one of these envelopes.

This is what storyboards look like:

This is an excerpt from the live performance scene at the top of Saekano the Movie.

Using Saekano the Movie as an example--it was a tad difficult to associate the “live scene” of the script to the animation. In the script, the directors and team have endless discussions of what they want to see within however many seconds of the animation. This is described to the animators, the people who is actually drawing the actions/storyboards/etc., who only remember parts of the conversation or only get a few words and they have to create these complex drawings after hearing the phrase “live scene.” Sometimes there is a lot of direction in those discussions while in the original novel it may just say, “they fought, they won,” but the battle leads into an epic space war.

Producers are always excited to see the storyboards. They know it must be a lot of work, hard work, to get them but they’re amazing. Animators sometimes get mad at the scripts and the different “grammar” of the adaptations between the novel and the anime script, but they do great work. To the producers, it's almost the same feeling as a fan seeing the anime for the first time.

Back to the Saekano the Movie example, in the live performance scene above, the animator that was asked to draw the scene knew how to use the instruments being played. That experience is indispensable in some cases as it helps make the movements more accurate and realistic. In the worst case scenario, producers sometimes go with motion capture or use recordings of live performances that are then 3-D rendered for the key animations.

Step 4: Key Animations

Key animations are a part of the storyboard. They are often more detailed images used to depict specifics in individual scenes, with other frames used for movements happening in between. They are often discussed and detailed during and post conversations between the animator, director, super director, and the producer.

The above is an example of a key animation. It’s not something that stands on its own, rather, they’re made out of multiple drawings. This is where she utters the “meee” from the lyrics (Saekano the Movie). This key animation is to clarify that she’s saying “meee” from the lyrics as the shape of her mouth changes. The words on the page are helpful, but not necessary.

Next we see a sample of timesheets (image below).

Time sheets are like a blueprint. This is a 3-second shot described in a timesheet and it contains all of the information going into that 3 seconds.

At the top of the timesheets are numbers and that’s where they write where they want the key animation positions to be. Since this is a live performance scene, it ends on a unique shot, and for normal shots, they’d insert some dialogue, or time a movement there. There are also instructions for Compositing. The timesheet is filled with all these details.

There are all kinds of key animations, and a key animation that’s cleared every step in the process is what we call an in-between.

Step 5: In-Betweening

In-betweening is creating the materials that fill up the spaces between the key animation positions. Since anime is all about movement from point a to point b, we have several pages to make characters and items move in-between the two points.

(Image from: https://boords.com/animatic/what-is-the-definition-of-an-animatic-storyboard)

The above is an example. On the left, you see and anamitc--which is essentially a storyboard shown in order to create the story. The frozen frames make up the key animations prior to details. On the right, you have the fully animated piece. All of the movement seen in-between those key animations seen on the left, come together to create the moving animation seen on the right is an example of the in-betweening discussed here.

Going back to the time sheet--if you look closely you can see numbers going vertically which say 1-2-3-4 etc. Those are key animations. And the tiny dots you see in between, those are in-between animations. So drawing between the first and second key animations is the job of the in-between animator for this scene.

Step 5: Painting & Compositing

Next comes painting and composition--it’s where all the colors are applied. Years ago, this used to be done with real paint. Today though, this process is usually done digitally and it’s done for every frame (all of the in-betweens, key animations, etc.). The painting process includes Compositing. It’s not until after it’s been Composited that it’s truly finished.

During compositing, all of the different piece of paper shown in this panel so far are transformed into the animation you later see. Compositing gets the timesheet you just saw, with the materials for the backgrounds and cells, the animations and such, and then they work from that blueprint to create the full animation.

In the images seen above from the Saekano the Movie example, what you’ve seen is less than a single second but it took that much work to get there. As the producer, sometimes it’s your job to step in and help if the animators taking on that workload get overwhelmed.

Animators probably leave their personal mark somewhere on the key animations they create, something that only they know about. So if that storyboard can be thought of as a blueprint for drawing, then the key animations have their character settings, and they’re drawn by diverse people with unique intentions. That’s what we try to go for, and it’s really great to be able to see it all before anyone else as a producer. Like a character who’s never made a gesture like that in such a situation in the original story, but then when a certain animator draws that character, you’ll see that gesture and it will bring life to the image. If you start looking, it’s pretty endless. But seeing all these personal stamps is what makes it so intriguing. As long as it doesn’t stray far from the story, it’s not usually a problem for the producer. It what makes anime adaptation so enjoyable for one of the panelists.

Final Step (6): Recording & Editing

After the visuals are done, comes the sound production and voice actors. Once you find the people for the roles needed, they move onto recording, and then background music is added, and finally you get the finished product that viewers see. Editing happens then too, though it also happens throughout the process as things are added and taken out over the course of production.

An example of the finished product:

youtube

The producer can change the whole feel of the show as they often make executive decisions on music, editing, marketing, etc. They have to oversee the process, as we’ve seen throughout the panelists’ discussion on the production process. It’s worth understanding from an analytic point of view as you see how their styles, focuses, and insight can influence the creation of a series.

#aniplex online fest #aniplex usa #aniplex #anime #manga #production #film #tv #notes #aof2020

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aspoonofsugar · 5 years

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What do you think of Mori's role in BSD?

Hello anon!

I have talked a little bit of Mori and his ability here.

As far as his role in the story goes I think he embodies two things.

1) The mafia.

2) The past.

1) As far as the first point is concerned I would like to highlight the symbolic role of the mafia in the story.

I have talked a little bit about it in the post I linked above:

At the same time, on a macro level, the story needs a resolution of some type between the Mafia and the Ada since it is obvious that the two organizations are linked because of the past of many characters in the ADA being linked to the mafia somehow. Dazai, Yosano and Fukuzawa all have a past which involves one or more members of the mafia, for example.

And here:

The mafiosi are who the detectives could become if they were to completely lose themselves in their most violent and darkest parts, while the HD are who the detectives could become if they were to embrace simplicistic ideals over people. This is also why this arc has been particularly hard on Kunikida since among the members of the ADA he is the one who risks to do so the most.

In other words the mafia is nothing more than the societal structure which organizes and takes charge of those people society doesn’t care about. The mafia symbolically represents the part of the city nobody wants to aknowledge and everybody fears. In other words, it is some kind of macro-representation of a collective jungian shadow.

The tripartic alliance perfectly illustrates this point:

The alliance is based on the collaboration among three organizations each one associated to a specific time of the day.

The Military Police and the Ability Secret Service are associated with daytime because they represent the accepted authority and law. They are who the citizens look up to and they must adhere to the rules and the laws.

The ADA is associated to the evening because they are an in-between the day and the night. They want to preserve the law and try not to act outside of it, but also see its limits and use loopholes and bend the rules to help people. They can look both at the government and at the criminal world critically, but they have also been shown to work well with both.

Finally, the mafia represents the night i.e. something which is totally not bent by the rules of the day. They are that part of society which was in chaos after the war and over which Mori seized control.

The members of the mafia are basically people society gave up on and who have no interest into being re-integrated in it:

Let’s highlight that Hirotsu has “society” among his dislikes and he is one of the oldest members. In short, he embodies why a person prefers spending their whole life in a criminal organization rather than in the respectable world. It is because of a dislike for it.

As far as Mori is concerned he says so:

He claims to love Yokohama even with its dark side and it seems that he has taken upon himself the difficult mission to organize this side of the city. However, the interesting thing is that, under his leadership, the mafia and the underworld have basically become nothing more than a mirror of society and the same abusive structures and dynamics if not worse have been established. However, this is also why Mori has been so successful.

Mori is loved and accepted by his subordinates specifically because he gave the mafia members the illusion that they can be a society on their own. He gives rules to the criminal world and organizes it, so that it can be more tolerable. After all, it is not by chance that the people most loyal to Mori are those who have experienced a much more chaotic world:

At the same time, these people are also somehow convinced of this:

They have accepted the world of the night as the only world where they can live and prefer this world to have some kind of law, so that they can feel more like people.

However, here lies the contradiction of the mafia and of Mori. All in all, this regulation of the world of the night is also what lets this world survive and favours specific dynamics from which both the governement and the mafia gain something, but which have negative impacts on the individual.

Kyouka’s case is a perfect example of that.

All in all, Kyouka is a victim of both the government and the mafia. On one hand the government chose to use her as a scapegoat to protect itself. On the other hand the mafia weaponized her ability.

She is also an example of how these two realities which should stay separate have actually built a twisted and beneficial relationship. The government can use the mafia as a scapegoat and a place where they can recycle individuals they don’t really want to take care of, while the mafia takes these individuals and turns them into pawns.

To summarize, the mafia represents that part of society which should remain hidden and is accepted as long as it does. Mori is the one who made this possible by transforming the underworld in a society he administers and in this way he makes it tolerated, but also makes sure that the true problem behind these people who have not a place to belong is never addressed nor solved. So, in a sense, Mori is weaponizing a social problem.

2) I have talked about BSD addressing a generational conflict in the meta on the Guild Arc whose link is above.

One of the reasons why the integration between the two organizations and in general among the different sides of Yokohama is so difficutl is not only because of the characters’ personal problems (unwillingness to cooperate, old grudges etc.), but also because the younger characters who have the best chance to change things find themselves in a flawed system they inherited by older characters.

All in all the series explores the theme of having to deal with the consequences of one’s parents’ actions (both negative and positive) and the characters all need to make themselves independent from parental and mentor figures, so that they can become their own people.

As that meta makes clear Mori is one of the representative of the old generation. He has contributed to the current peaceful situation Yokohama is in, but at the same time he has also been exploiting other people’s weaknesses.

Simbolically, it is interesting that his ability is the same, but also almost the opposite of Kyouka’s aka the character I used in the already mentioned meta to explore the theme of facing a parent’s legacy.

Both Mori and Kyouka’s abilities consist in guardian entities who protect their host, but who also exhibit specific personalities.

As it has already been stated Demon Snow represents Kyouka’s parents’ legacy which is ambiguous and with which Kyouka has to reconcile.

Elise is instead a child because symbolically she represents Mori’s tendency to manipulate and exploit the weak. She can also represent Mori’s own emotional side which is underdevolped like a child is.

Demon is initially presented as a dangerous and ruthless monster, but turns out to actually have good intentions and to be willing to help Kyouka, while Elise is introduced as a harmless little girl, but she is later revealed to be a violent ability.

This also fits with how Kyouka and Mori themselves are introduced in the series. Kyouka appears as a cold assassin, while Mori as a friendly doctor. However, these appearences are soon subverted.

However, the most interesting thing when it comes to this foiling is this:

Mori has perfect control over Elise to the point that even her current tantrums happen because Mori wants her personality to resemble Yosano’s, while Kyouka can’t influence the Demon’s behaviour and has just recently gained enough control to use her ability without her cellphone.

This perfectly shows where the two characters are in termsof control over their lives and the things around them. Mori is an adult and one of the most influencial people in the city, whereas Kyouka is a child who has been moving from a horrible place to another until she found someone willing to help her.

All in all, Mori is linked to these two concepts and I am expecting for him to be overcome in the end precisely because he embodies them too much. On one hand I think the conflict between the mafia and the ADA should be settled, but it seems difficult as long as Mori is around because his involvement in traumatic episodes concerning Dazai and Yosano’s pasts makes so that him being around makes so that the conflict is always there even if asleep. On the other hand the younger generation should surpass the previous one and do better and this symbolically overlaps with exponents of the old generation leaving the scene either because they die or because they lose power.

Specifically, I think Mori is bound to play a role in Dazai’s arc because of the two of them being obviously foils, as both Fifteen and the Dark Era show.

Mori is who Dazai could have become if Oda’s death had not made him realize something important:

“He’s a friend”

Dazai is as ruthless and as manipulative as Mori is, but he is not ready to give up a genuine and healthy connection he has made and in this way he both learns and shows that he is able to think outside of an utilitaristic mainframe, while Mori is not able to do so. He probably cares about Dazai to an extent, but he won’t develop this emotional attachment into something healthier.

That said, Dazai’s arc in the manga might very well involve him becoming someone completely different from Mori and so overcoming the influence the man has had on Dazai’s life once and for all and solving his personal conflict with the mafia in a positive way.

As a matter of fact, Dazai’s past with the mafia is brought up pretty often and he has left some important relationships unsolved. The one with Akutagawa is probably the most important, but there are also the ones with Chuuya, Koujo and Q who all knew him and have shown different levels of resentment over him leaving the organization.

At the same time, Dazai is trying to recreate a new version of the soukoku partnership he had with Chuuya and in this way he is stepping into Mori’s shoes as the one continuing the “tradition”.

However, I think that shin soukoku will actually answer Mori’s question:

“Only a diamond can polish a diamond. I wanna see for myself if that is true”.

The problem with Mori’s attempt is that it was purely utilitaristic, while I think that Dazai might be willing to make Akutagawa and Atsushi work together both because he needs them to fight against a strong opponent, but also because he might be trying in this way to fix the damage he has made to Akutagawa. It is still a pretty indirect and manipulative attempt, but at least Dazai is recognizing that there is another level to people other than their strengths and weaknesses. And it is probable that Natsume, by talking about diamonds, was referring to people’s interiority rather than to their abilities. In other words, Mori might have attempted to find an answer to Natsume’s words by onlu combining the ability of two people, while Dazai might find a better and more meaningful one by having his mentees develop psychologically thanks to each other.

These are my thoughts so far!

Thank you for the ask!

#bsd #bsd meta #mori ougai #osamu dazai #asksfullofsugar #anonymous

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ichika27 · 4 years

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Mairimashita! Iruma-kun ep 17

I’m late... I’ve been playing an online game and there’s an event. Also reading webcomics lol. I should’ve made this days ago.

There’s not much pics this time as the net keep fluctuating and the quality would go down at times.

Ameri pls. This is no time to be comparing the current situation to manga. I mean what kind of person would think like this while something bad is happening?

*looks at twitter and see people making jokes about the volcano, kidnapping and virus* Never mind.

Even still, Ameri does take her job seriously and they help out the teachers in keeping order and peace.

Kalego-sensei is strong enough to break the barriers albeit temporarily. The barriers fix themselves up after a few seconds but it’s enough to let him and Robin-sensei pass so they could go to the room where records are held. Kalego-sensei being who he is, is able to deduce the current situation might have something to do with the headmaster being detained and that a student of their have the barrier power and they could just look him up.

Also, they need a computer. Looking for info might have been quicker that way.

Anyways, even if Grandpa Sullivan acts terribly enough for Kalego-sensei to be annoyed with him, gramps can tell that sensei is skilled enough to be his substitute and seeing all of the stuff he can do and his thoughts in the current arc shows that. He’s pretty amazing.

Robin-sensei told Kalego-sensei that this barriers might have been for some kind of surprise. While Kalego-sensei knew it was very unlikely, it did give him an idea of how to calm the students down: by telling them this is an event.

The barriers aren’t all connected to become a box except for the one surrounding the entire school so there are gaps that could let them pass to get to another area. Like a maze. So they turned it into a game wherein the students have to get to the central plaza.

Unfortunately, that’s Kiriwo-senpai’s actual plan.

The machine Iruma helped fix is actually a destructive weapon as well and the time has come for it to be in use.

Despite being separated by glass, the trio is still able to devise a plan on how to help stop whatever it is that’s happening. Iruma remembers Kiriwo-senpai’s ability and also the secret room. Clara used her powers to recreate the little paper-like dolls she saw another batra create and Azz uses his powers to command the little things to find where the barriers are and where the gaps could be found. He also made this map (he remembers cause it’s in the handbook. It’s amazing and also he’s really studious... who would have enough time to memorize this?).

All those and using a phone, they’re able to guide Iruma from the other side of the wall so he could get to senpai’s location.

And the main battle would begin, I assume. Can’t wait til the next episode!

By the way, there were stuff I was unable to screencap as I said before. Like one of the teacher’s outside the school using her frogs to confirm there’s no way out and all. There are other moments but I am disappointed I wasn’t able to screencap another ‘devi-gay’ moment (as the yt chat calls it) wherein Ameri saved Eiko from getting hurt. If you guys remember Eiko, she’s the girl Iruma saved in the first episode who seem to have gotten a crush on him due to that. Guess what she feels about Ameri after the current incident? lol

Til next week!

#Mairimashita! Iruma-kun #welcome to demon school iruma-kun #sana_post

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toonstarterz · 5 years

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BECAUSE I’M NOT POPULAR, I’LL READ WATAMOTE: CHAPTER #161

Ah, the After-Suspension Party. Nearly everyone expected it was gonna happen to some degree. But just because it was predictable, that doesn’t mean it can’t be meaningful. Specifically, we see the core members of the Tomoko “harem” (I use the term half-jokingly because it’s just easier) progress in ways that you might not have expected them to, but it’s all-the-more welcome simply because of how hard our girls are trying to get their “best ending”.

Chapter 161: Because I’m Not Popular, Things Will Go Back To Normal

Interesting choice to have Hirasawa and her BF on the splash page this time, considering they’re not in this chapter at all otherwise (though it’s not like Nico Tanigawa haven’t done it before). From the looks of thing, Hirasawa is gazing fondly at Ucchi’s compadres, yearning for the female friends she doesn’t have.

Could this be a preview for upcoming developments?

Your entire existence summed up.

There’s something oddly amusing about how Tomoko pointed out the dog while acknowledging Ucchi. Almost like she’s putting them on the same level.

Apology Progress: 21%

For everyone’s else insistence that Tomopup is kind of weird, it’s absolutely fitting that Nemo thinks it’s cute. I could go all pseudo-psychological about how Nemo is projecting her feelings about Tomoko onto the dog, but...

...that would be stating the obvious, wouldn’t it?

Apology Progress: 30%

“Stupid dog! You made her look bad!”

Notice how Tomoko has that extra shading on her when she pops the question? It makes the exchange feel ridiculously dramatic, and if that isn’t the mangaka toying with shippers, I don’t know what is.

Apology Progress: 90%

See? Now that wasn’t too hard, was it, Ucchi? The first step to improving oneself is admitting to your mistakes. You’re lucky that Tomoko doesn’t care that much about you to hold a grudge, but still, it took guts to humble yourself before your crush. Now you can put all that animosity behind you and move ahead to finally admitting your feel–

Apology Progress: -5%

Nah, just kidding. I knew it was going too smoothly. I’d be pissed if I wasn’t laughing too hard.

Oh, wow. Katou is actually giving Ucchi the “How would you like if they did that to you” lecture. As if her mom-level wasn’t already off the charts.

Props to the translator for finding a great alternative to use in place of “yabai”. It’s not the same word, but the reasoning still applies just as effectively as the original.

Nice save, Ucchi.

NOT.

Apology Progress: -10%

Confession Progress (Part 2): 18%

...go on.

This close. We were this close to Ucchi finally admitting to Tomoko’s face that she finds her attractive. It’s taken a mountain of digging and prodding at Ucchi’s psyche, but her inner feelings have finally skirted the surface. Unfortunately, the plot demands that Ucchi’s progress has met its quota for the day.

Hina Nemoto: Professional normie/otaku hybrid, aspiring voice actress, and now, expert wingwoman.

Hey, Nemo...

YOU WANT SOME ICE FOR THAT SICK BURN???

Oh, Katou. Your motherly tenderness transcends the species barrier.

Oh, Tomoko. I recommend you look up the word “projecting” when you get the chance. You may just learn something about yourself.

Oh, Ucchi. Your arsenal of kimoi-based puns knows no ends.

Oh, Yuri. Not so above it all after all.

So Tomoko really did succumb to a bit of cabin fever, after all. I can only imagine how much Tomoko might’ve regressed if she had to do suspension on her own.

Is it weird that Tomoko and Nemo’s passive-aggressive banter makes me nostalgic?

It’s been a while since we saw the two of them go at it like this. One key difference is that Nemo, in her growing admiration for the girl, is subtly complimenting Tomoko for how much she’s come out of her shell since the day they first met.

Take some notes, Ucchi.

Even when she’s a disembodied fantasy head used for narrative purposes, Itou still lights up whenever she gets provoked. It’s amusing how each character has their own quirk like–wait a minute.

Itou Hikari. (hikari = light). Oh...duuuuuuuh.

It took over two years, but what goes around has finally come around.

The fated first meeting between Tomoko and Nemoto may not have meant much for the former, but for the latter, it’s was the spark that made the otaku/normie into the girl she is today. From being the giver of fistbumps to becoming the receiver–it’s astounding how such a simple gesture can sum up their relationship like that.

Hey now, Tomoko. You can’t exactly judge Nemo when you’re the one who introduced it to her.

Take this with a grain of salt, but you ever get the feeling that Tomoko has memory problems? Forgetting Komi-something’s name, her brother’s school application, and now this? You could say it’s just her being a jerk and not retaining info she doesn’t care about, but maybe there’s something more to it.

(Nature documentary voice) “And here, we witness a wild Emoji Girl, commonly known as the “Ucchi”, assume the mating position as she targets her prey.”

You know what? I don’t even think Yuri is being that kuudere here. After their “date” at the recreation center. I’d say she gotten comfortable with not hogging Tomoko all for herself. Good on her, and good on Mako for looking out as always.

“As you can see, the Emoji Girl will attempt to cozy up against the elusive Tomoko by ordering the same beverage as her.”

That’s nothing new at this point, though it’s the first time Tomoko has been surrounded exclusively by the “popular” girls. (Yes, I know Yuri is right behind her, but still.)

I want to make some cheesy comment about how Tomoko and Yuri always have each other’s backs, but that would be...actually, screw it. They totally do.

I’m a sucker for shots like this where you can visually feel the “so near, yet so far” dynamic between two characters. Someone help me.

Rena, you ever think that being a repeat offender may have something to do with that? Or do you and Yoshida (not sure about Anna) have no concept of self-awareness?

Who’d of thought that Those Two Girls would someday be hanging out with Those Two Girls?

Actually, given the direction this manga has taken, it’s not that surprising. At first glance, it’s easy to think that Rena and Anna are a little too rowdy for the likes of Yuri and Mako. Thankfully, we have Yoshida acting as the “test run”, allowing Yuri and Mako to become accustomed to their delinquent atmosphere. Even if they don’t end up the best of friends (Rena, in particular, seems pretty high-maintenance), I don’t see any reason they couldn’t end up respecting each other.

Now these two, on the other hand, were secretly my platonic rareOTP. Anna's the most approachable of the Delinquent Trio, and her easygoing nature feels like it could smooth out Yuri’s rougher edges.

Yeah, I’m a sucker for Sweet Stoner x Wallflower pairings.

–discovered what hentai is!”

First off, Yuri is too freakin’ cute nibbling at her fries like that. They seem to be going for the “big eater” trope for Yuri, and I like how it’s being played with. Improbably thin girls with big appetites are a dime a dozen in manga, but Yuri feels different because it's not that she necessarily loves food. It’s just that eating is her way of busying herself when she doesn’t want to deal with social situations. As any introvert will tell you, it’s a natural habit when you can’t muster up the nerve to speak up in a group.

Yuri may fall behind the pack compared to the others, but what makes her special is that Tomoko will always look back for her.

Just, you know. Give her a week.

Smooth move, Tomoko! Calling Yuri by her first name in front of the others now? May as well have been a marriage proposal!

Nico Tanigawa are making it really hard for me to remove my (Friend)shipping Goggles when they include “long-lost lovers” dialogue like this. (Or maybe I’m the only one who sees it that way...)

Off-topic, but something about the perspective of this shot seems off. I think it’s the chairs’ different-sized legs.

This entire image just gave me Type 1 Diabetes.

There’s no grudge or snubbing that one might’ve expected from Yuri. Instead, Tomoko offered her a sincere–if not teasing–retort, and Yuri responded back in kind. The general hesitation that Yuri has when Tomoko’s being weirdly affectionate isn’t an issue anymore. But the sweetness dials up to eleven when you remember how Yuri flubbed the flirty joke Tomoko offered during the Mouseyland trip. Yuri’s learned how to banter with her, and best of all, she’s enjoying it. If that ain’t friendship goals, I don’t know what is.

You know a friendship has potential when you’re buying extra fries for the table.

If there’s an edge that Yuri has over the others right now, it’s that she’s acquainted with Tomoko’s actual soulmate, Yuu Naruse.

This chapter’s title is really misleading, but not by how it’s normally done by this series. It states that “things will go back to normal”, and back in the early days, it was meant to be ironic. It would suggest that Tomoko would return to her unchanging loneliness, only for us to be hit with the amusing realization that things have changed now that she’s made friends.

But here, it’s a double subversion. That chapter title is now being played totally straight. Everything we’re seeing now–Yuri opening up and being less possessive, Nemo’s “tough love”, and Ucchi’s whirlwind efforts of befriending Tomoko? That is the normal now. Tomoko’s improving high school life is no longer a shift in the series’ premise. It is the series’ premise.

To not be afraid of change without ignoring your roots is the true mark of what makes Watamote stand out as a coming-of-age story.

#watamote #watamote review #chapter 161 #no matter how i look at it it's you guys' fault i'm not popular!#tomoko kuroki #emiri uchi #hina nemoto #yuri tamura #masaki yoshida #mako tanaka #akane okada #asuka katou #anna haruna #reina #review

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moistwithgender · 5 years

Text

Monthly Media Roundup (May 2019)

The march of time inexorably proceeds beyond my grasp and so I must write another post. I’ve been a bit burned out, just focusing on one diversion (it was Zelda, you know it was Zelda), but after finishing it I recovered enough energy to get a few more things done in the last half of the month. I didn’t watch any anime or read any manga in May, though I did read some 70s Marvel, which I liveblog in my “curry reads comics” tag. Last time I did an actual capital-P Post about my Marvel reading was a year ago after marathoning a full(ish) decade. If people are interested in more of that I could work at making posts for each year of issues I read, recapping the developments and my thoughts on them (which will become more relevant as Events become more common, I imagine). I’ve just got a few games to talk about this month, but I imagine I have a lot to say about at least one of them.

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild (Switch): 2 years ago I did something I extremely rarely do: stood in line at a Best Buy at midnight for the release of the Switch so that I could buy it with BotW. BotW was also out on Wii U, which I had, but the promotional material for BotW had struck such a chord in me that it justified making the jump for the new console (this would eventually become troublesome when the first model of joycons failed, but, well). I got home, put some ten odd hours into it, and then put it down for two years. I’ve always had a problem where, struck with the intuition that I will end up forming a deep relationship with a work, I will put it off for years. I put off Persona 3 for five years after buying it at launch, and it eventually became the most personal game experience I would have, even seven years onward. I think the two factors that pushed me to finally play through BotW was wanting to watch a friend stream it (but also not wanting it spoiled for me), and needing a distraction for when I was taking care of my cat.

It’s been about two months now since he passed away, and I finally finished the game at 215+ hours about half a month ago. So, I was playing this game as a coping method while preparing for loss, and in dealing with loss. It’s appropriate that the game is effectively both a fantasy about reclaiming at least part of what you have lost, and a colossal exercise in coping. The game is as much about getting distracted from your responsibilities and fucking off to snowboard in the mountains as it is about being aware of the world around you. The Zelda games have frequently used themes of Shintoism to portray harmony in nature and in civilization. I’m currently replaying Ocarina of Time and the cosmogony myth (is it a myth if a talking tree explains it to you?) specifically words the goddesses as “[giving] the spirit of law to the world” and “[producing] all life forms who would uphold the law.” When I was younger (see: early 20s) I didn’t scrutinize the text much but now I figure it’s reasonable to read “law” as “natural order”. It should be noted that for an N64 game, OoT has remarkably good prose. BotW, in transitioning the series in what may be its third main genre (as opposed to the genres of Zelda 1 and OoT), has taken that Shintoist aesthetic and incorporated it into the entire philosophy of the game’s design. More than just being a game whose narrative concerns an imbalanced world, BotW embraces the trends of open worlds and immersive sims to create an immense, varied space where the coded laws of physics are always impacting the experience. Thunderstorms make metal equipment a liability, while rain covers the sounds of footsteps. Wind can sweep away items, fire and high temperatures affect flammable objects (including yourself), and aforementioned metallic items can conduct electricity, which can be used to solve puzzles in unintended ways. Weather changes regularly based on the region and changes the world in tandem. Rain doesn’t just fall, it actively collects, and ponds become bigger, and surfaces become slicker. Each systemic element (pun not intended) that was incorporated affected everything else in the world, and in interviews there were mentions that changing the volume of wind in one area had a butterfly effect on another, causing pots to fly off of patios in a village. It’s no wonder the game took five years to make, considering how rarely glitches occur in the game (and most that I know of have to be deliberately recreated for exploitation). You’re engaging with enemies as much as you are with the environment, and at times even with your own body, creating and consuming food and drink for the purpose of staving off sunstroke or frostbite. As a result, BotW’s Hyrule is immensely palpable, and easy to lose oneself in from how livable it feels.

When I first started playing at release, I was a bit disappointed to discover that villages existed in-game, as early promotional material and the state of the Great Plateau you start on painted a picture of a lonely world. In the end, the soundtrack and vast amount of uncolonized land does give an understated sense of melancholy that defines the game, though the fact that every five steps you’ll find a Korok micropuzzle waiting to YA HA HA and fanfare at you betrays that a bit (I still love those Koroks and their puzzles, don’t @ me). The NPCs in this are numerous, though, from the occupants of the villages to wandering traders, and their personalities are all distinct and charming, and probably the best I’ve ever seen in a game, or at least in a long time. If this game wasn’t railroading the Link/Zelda relationship so hard, I would have liked a Dragon’s Dogma-style “date any NPC (within reason)” mechanic. I’m just going to have to start a “NPCs you should marry” side-tumblr.

Another defining aspect of the gameplay, and easily what makes the game surpass arguably every other Zelda, is how Nintendo heard the decade or so of complaints about the linear Zelda lock-and-key formula being reiterated to the point of stagnation, and, after great success with A Link Between Worlds’ item rental subversion, just decided to make everything optional. You do the tutorial on the Great Plateau, and, if you feel especially gutsy, you can beeline it straight to Ganon. He’s in horse-riding distance, or running distance, if you’re tenacious. Will you make it to him, survive the hordes of enemies, and take him down? If it’s your first time playing the game and you haven’t learned the systems, probably not. Is it possible? Absolutely. Much like how the monthly cycle of a Persona game is a proverbial Rocky training montage of preparing for The Big Fight, everything you do in BotW is in preparation. A lot of open world games can feel dissonant in that you’re incentivized to be distracted as a player and make your own fun, meanwhile the protagonist keeps saying “I’m gonna get bloody revenge on the mafia boss!” during bowling matches. There is still, unavoidably, a sense of urgency played up for narrative sake in BotW, since Impa insists Zelda is waiting and can’t hold Ganon back forever, but it’s all much more narratively justifiable, if you want that. You know, because Zelda is for hardcore roleplaying.

I couldn’t resist a second playthrough, even after logging 215+ hours, so I went ahead and started a separate file on Master Mode, Nintendo’s weird in-house, in-franchise rebranding of, uh, a hard mode. Previously it was called Hero Mode. Why do you--well, okay, I know why they do it. They’re likely trying to distinguish it from a “we just tweaked the numbers” hard mode, and also want to make it feel less threatening than something labeled hard mode. If they’re going to go to the trouble to make it a distinct form of play, they want to try and appeal to everyone. And it is fairly distinct. All enemies are bumped up one rank, so a red bokoblin is blue, and a blue bokoblin is black, and so on. There is a new strongest rank of enemy, though in my run I did not seek them out. There are enemies (and treasure chests!) perched on flying rafts, which can be one-shot with proper bow aiming, but also carry dangerous elemental arrows, and can alert all other enemies in the area. Stealth is much more difficult, and pointless early in. All enemies regenerate up to a third of their health, including bosses! Though, that can be temporarily interrupted by inflicting any amount of damage on them, so it behooves you to be on the offense. Less autosave slots! This wasn’t a problem for me. Guardians randomly delay the firing of their beams! This was absolutely a problem for me and I avoided them entirely in my run. In the beginning when tools and resources are scare, particularly on the Great Plateau, Master Mode is at its hardest, and its most thrilling. Rather than aimlessly exploring, I was pressured to decide where I knew things were, and beeline it to them. Sometime in-between two of the four main optional dungeons, I had amassed enough valuable resources that the game had settled back into the same kind of difficulty as normal mode. Bosses were a little harder due to regen and my resources being somewhat scarcer, but they were manageable. Competently performing flurry attacks (upon successfully dodging attacks at the last second) was extremely valuable to me, but I imagine with enough food in my inventory, I could have brute forced my way through a lot of the fights (though, uh, obviously thou wouldst like to live deliciously (please hate me for this phrasing)). I chose to forego the Master Sword for the sake of challenge, and beat Master Mode with only seven hearts, in around 25 hours. You should play Master Mode, it’s fun.

Here’s a little gameplay SPOILER:

Something I haven’t done, but would like to eventually do, is avoid the main dungeons and just head straight to Ganon. When I played Master Mode, I wasn’t totally confident, and did the dungeons for the resources. After watching some speedruns I learned that if you skip the dungeons, and therefore the main bosses, you have to fight them all at once immediately before the fight with Ganon, without breaks.

That. Sounds. Great.

Wandersong (PC/Steam): Have you heard about Homestuck?

Okay, wait. Wait. Come back, wait. Stop leaving. PLEASE.

Okay, I got the most inflammatory sentence out of the way. Now that we’re eased into that: Wandersong is unignorably influenced by Homestuck. Homestuck conjured a lot of baggage, from having a really difficult, pretentious, arrogant author (I should know, I gave him the benefit of the doubt for way too long), to having some unfortunate narrative turns, to being a billion words long. Wandersong invokes the vaster-than-God scope, the minute and personal perspective of the heroes, and its inclinations toward emotional intelligence (it still surprises me Homestuck had these moments given the author’s deeply unsympathetic sense of humor), and… condenses it! It also makes it a light puzzle-platformer and is about performing music (note: not rhythm, you don’t have to have ANY rhythm), and looks like a Paper Mario game. It is very charming, very funny, very optimistic, and most surprisingly, uncompromising at times. Wandersong says that you, despite your role, are capable of great things, especially self growth and change, as long as you commit to it. If, faced with the consequences of your bad decisions, you choose to double down and keep at it, you will reap what you sow. This is distinctly different from Undertale’s brand of pacifism route optimism, where “no one has to die!” This brand of optimism is a measured but enthusiastic “you can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved, but you can save the rest” and I think that’s a uniquely valuable message.

I was a little confused about the resolution of the communist uprising chapter, but I recall the game bringing my cynicism into question, and the most important thing a work can do is make you question yourself.

(Also, if any of my mutuals are low on funds but interested, I do have a drm-free version I can share.)

Minit (PC/Steam): I don’t think I actually have a lot to say about Minit! It’s very fun and curious and short. You play a little… duck… thing, and you pick up a cursed sword which kills you in one minute. Then you wake up the next day, and die in a minute. Then you wake up the next day. Having only sixty seconds of vitality, you have to optimize your exploration. There’s a slow-speaking old man who you will die listening to, but the hint he gives at the end of his sentence will lead you to something valuable. There’s a guy in a bar angry about the lack of music. If you change the music, he will probably dislike it. If you keep changing the music, you might live to see him like it. There’s a boat ride to a tropical island you have to grit your teeth and wait through. Not all of the events are slow, some are quick bouts of hurried exploration. Most of it is, given the time limit. I’d say more, but given the overall length (it took me about an hour to finish), I’d risk spoiling a sizable fraction of the experience. It’s about $10, though I got mine in a Humble Bundle Monthly subscription. The spec requirements are very low, so your laptop can likely run it.

A Hat in Time (PC/Steam): Heads up, I’m gonna get into a lot of spoilers for this game, including endgame spoilers, but also heads up, the story isn’t really the point in this game. This is a game about tone and platforming. That said, I’m gonna be talking exclusively about the weird ideas in this game, and if you want those weird ideas to be a surprise, then just skip ahead until I put up big letters.

I’m somewhat hesitant to be critical of A Hat in Time because despite a number of weird Things about it, I recognize that it’s quite popular with a lot of people, and that always makes me pause and want to figure out what it is that makes it pass the bar for others. My guess at this point is that it invokes nostalgia through its unmitigated imitation of games that came before. The games it chooses to ape are all your childhood’s Greatest Hits, Wind Waker (which it most resembled in its earliest development), Super Mario Sunshine/Galaxy (which it most resembles now), Banjo-Kazooie, Psychonauts, etc. It never really surpasses those games, for me, and at times cribs from them to the degree that it obscures the game’s own identity. After all, what you enjoy may help define you, but you wouldn’t say it’s your personality. Well. Unless you kin the Gamecube. I guess. There are bonus levels to the game’s different “worlds” (I thought they were different planets, since your hub area is a spaceship, and you access them via different telescopes, but it turns out it’s just one planet?), and you can collect photographs, which sequentially tell a story about the residents of that “world”. Psychonauts did this because each level took place in the mind of a character, and the photos together told a story about the character that fundamentally changed the way you thought about them, and made the whole game feel richer as a result. I collected the photos for all but the DLC levels in AHiT (those are Really Hard), and of those five or so worlds, none of those bonus photos told me anything that changed how I thought about the characters. There’s a dock town run by a mafia (s-sorta) led by a chef, but did you know they all used to work at a processing factory before going there? There are two manipulative bird directors who are fighting over the same studio to produce their own film and win an award, but did you know they… wanted to be directors since they were kids? There’s a devil analogue who steals people’s souls if they wander into his forest, but did you know he was a prince, and the princess was mad he talked to another girl (it was a flower girl, he was getting flowers for the princess), and imprisoned him until they both the prince and princess turned into evil ghosts? That’s the only one that comes close to being an “oh” moment, but I don’t think it does for the reasons the writer was hoping for. In general, these are prologues without substance.

Speaking of substance, the game has a bit of an issue with theming. At least, it does at first. The first town is the previously mentioned dock town, run by a mafia. By “mafia”, I mean a bunch of meatheads who talk about how they like punching people, and refer to themselves individually, in the third person, as Mafia. Mafia loves to punch the poor and the birds. Mafia is a one-dimensional character copy-pasted across 20% of the game. Mafia laughs. They’re run by a chef, but also they can’t cook, so there’s a cat chef in hiding who routinely swaps out their food with his so no one has to eat bad food. I don’t know why, when the town has maybe three non-Mafia character. He does eventually leave and board your ship, so maybe he’s just looking for something to do. The leader of the mafia also boards your ship, for a joke and to sell you an upgrade. The mafia are also afraid of mud monsters, or aliens, or something. There’s a girl with a moustache named Moustache Girl who wants to use your Time Macguffins to overthrow organized crime, and Hat Girl decides that’s a no-go. There are giant faucets around the town that replace all the water with lava. You might be noticing these things have little to no connection. You might be suspecting this level was made first when the dev was inexperienced. I might be suspecting this. It’s fine.

Later worlds do a much better job of theming. There’s the movie studio split between two birds. One of them a penguin, who prefers science fiction, the other a…

...hmmm. I suspect this guy, The Conductor, is an OC the director has had for a while, maybe since childhood, that they just decided Is A Bird, and carried it into the game, since the game occasionally is like... bird?? Alternatively, it’s some sort of corruption of Woodstock from Peanuts. Possibly both. Anyway, this guy just wants to make movies that take place on wild western trains. He has a strong fake Scottish accent, and the penguin, named DJ Grooves, is some sort of disco Elvis. They’ve both hired owls as actors, and some crows have snuck onto the train set (the crows are so obviously the G-Men from Psychonauts’ Milkman level it bothers me a bit). This is already a little busy, but it’s okay! Birds, movies, two distinct genres, and you trapped in-between them, just trying to collect your macguffins. It works. You take part in both of their movies, and your performance in both determines the winner, when suddenly… CORRUPTION WAS AFOOT, and you have to explore the depths of the studio and engage in a showdown.

Another world is a spooky forest where your access is restricted by completing certain contracts for the devilish character. Sometimes it’s murder (reasonable), exploring a haunted mansion in survival horror format (ooh!), fixing the plumbing in a well (wait, what), and doing mail delivery (back up back up). Half of that works. The finale of the forest makes up for it, though. This game insists on most of its bosses having like 4-5 phases and breaks for dialogue and the gall required to get away with that honestly earned my respect. They’re pretty fun times.

The best level to play is, unsurprisingly, the first DLC. I say unsurprising because it’s clear the dev is learning as they go, and the level design improves as they go along. Aside from bonus levels, the first DLC takes place on a massive cruise liner titled the SS Literally Can’t Sink. Ha ha. It’s split into three parts. The first part has you exploring the many interconnected rooms of the ship to find broken shards of a macguffin, the second part has you taking that mental map and using it to frantically complete multiple timed fetch quests at once, and the third part, now that you understand the ship pretty intimately, capsizes the ship, requiring you to traverse frigid waters and overturned scenery to retrieve babies and the ship’s incompetent but adorable baby seal crew (the seals speak in hewwo talk, the game is unforgivably loaded with memes but let me have this). This progression is my favorite in the game, and while I haven’t bought the Nyakuza Metro DLC, I’m looking forward to it.

The ending level had me a bit bewildered at first because in the beginning when Hat Kid refuses to use time powers to stop organized crime, I saw it as a hamfisted way to create tension between Hat Kid and Moustache Girl. Apparently it was working up towards the moral of the story. In the final level, Moustache Girl has stolen all the macguffins, and possessing ultimate power, becomes corrupted ultimately, and summons everyone in the world to her Bowser castle to be judged and die. On first glance, I thought “well, sure, that’s sensible,” but when Hat Kid finds the support of all the villains in the game, I was a little confused. The villains sacrifice themselves to give you infinite health, explicitly stating that they’ll just come back through time magic if you win so who cares (cool stakes), and you overcome authoritarianism with the support of corrupt hollywood, organized crime, and the literal devil. This would be fine if at some point Hat Kid, you know, took them on a Zuko Quest to face turn all of them, but that doesn’t happen. They just all decide “hey yeah, fuck this girl! Also we don’t have time for the nuance this might require!” After all is said and done and you collect all your macguffins, you’re given the choice of leaving the defeated Moustache Girl a single macguffin so she can defeat the mafia (whose side are we on) or just saying nahhh. Neither appears to make a difference, but maybe in a year or two we’ll get a DLC that makes you regret your words and deeds. You try to fly your ship to your home planet, and the villains all grab on to your ship, which is in space, begging you not to leave. I seriously suspect they intended to incorporate face-turn scenes and just couldn’t find the time, because nothing but physical proximity implies these guys would have any emotional attachment to Hat Kid, and that’s a bit of a stretch. Anyway, Hat Kid brooms them off the ship to plummet down to earth and flies away. Sheds a tear about the whole thing. In the end, the moral was that Order good, but too much Order bad, except if you are Hat Kid, in which case Chaos good. Or maybe…

After finishing the game I decided to look into any left over secrets, since my completion score was in the 80s of percents. Turns out that if you use the camera badge to finagle the free look feature into a marginally open armoire somewhere on your spaceship, you can find a shrine to Hat Kid with a couple skulls, a bunch of blurry photos, and some strange symbols. If you doing this while wearing the mask that lets you see the secrets of the dead (for platforming and puzzle purposes, of course), there’s a bunch of alien text you can decode. And then there’s some youtube channels. And a twitter account. All sharing more of those decodable ciphers, all talking about vague dreamy apocalyptic histories and dark betrayals. Or something. That’s right, this game’s got a fucking ARG. I cut things off there. If the developer Gears for Breakfast is gonna make an occultist grimdark sequel to A Hat in Time, they can put up a trailer for it.

OKAY I’M DONE TALKING ABOUT A HAT IN TIME, the short of it is that I had a lot of mixed feelings but had fun.

How did I end up talking more about A Hat in Time than Breath of the Wild? What are my priorities?

Well, that’s everything I finished in May! Will I get back to anime and manga in June? Guess we’ll see! Again, let me know if you want me to do year-recap Marvel posts, since my liveblogging is mostly just shitposts, and the occasional attempt at thoughtfulness among those posts feels kind of out of place. Honestly, I’m probably gonna do that anyway, but it’s nice to see interest. If you read all this, thanks a lot! Go play Breath of the Wild and Wandersong.

#curry plays games

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distant-stargirl · 5 years

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Hey my lovelies,

Soooo if you’ve been following my Twitter account (link to which is in the menu bar of my page, please visit it, my beautiful page which I tried so hard to set up for all of you is getting lonely 😢 ) you’d know that I recently went out and bought a LOT of books from Barnes and Noble! Heck yeah! Gosh I absolutely love books and it’s been wayyyy too long since I’ve been at my local B&N store. It’s just so soothing for me to visit it, get myself either tea or hot coco with a pastry sit down and just r e a d. Yeah, I’m a geeky bookworm and I love it. Books, and the occasional manga, are my sustenance and it’s also been too long since I’ve bought some of my favorite books/manga for myself and added to my growing book collection. Also shout-out to the incredibly friendly and chill Barnes and Noble staff who absolutely took all of my queries about where certain books were located in stride and not once were irritated by how often I returned to ask where another one was located. You guys are the best and thank you so crazy much for putting up with me and my stupid queries!!! So let me deconstruct these books, why I bought them for myself, and why they’re my favorite in this PART 1 post:

Boneless Mercies by April Genevieve Tcholke Honestly I know nothing about this book, it just jumped out at me as I was looking for the other books that are in the picture and after reading the flap summary and finding out that it was a dark fantasy novel with its own world and females having magical killing powers I knew this was the book for me and I had to have it so I could read it for myself. Sadly I haven’t read it yet, but it’s definitely sitting high up on my to-read list right now.

Eliza and Her Monsters by Francesca Zappia This Young Adult realistic fictional novel I’ve read before based on a recommendation from a local librarian friend, and once I got past the awkward beginning I just couldn’t put it down and finished the rest in almost one go. The book is about an awkward teen named Eliza Mirk who is an artist/author for a famous online websomic called Monstrous Sea. Whilst she is practically famous and extremely adept at the online sphere she keeps this persona very separate from her real life, thus making her out very awkward in her high school and constantly battles with negative thoughts from her social anxiety. Thankfully all of this changes when she meets a fellow Monstrous Sea fan Wallace who is actually... well nah I’m not gonna spoil it for you guys :P But anyways, I absolutely loved how this book described social anxiety along with the depressive thoughts Eliza faces later on and it really touched me at how accurate and realistically it described them. I knew I had to have this book for myself and today was the day I decided to get it

Kitchen Princess Volume 1 omnibus by Nastumi Ando & Miyuki Kobayashi So some of you may not know but I’m an avid fan of Japanese comics, otherwise known as manga. Well, this is another series that I’ve read before about a girl named Najika who has a special talent of having absolute taste which means that if she tastes something she can almost always recreate the recipe almost perfectly for what it is, if not improve it too! But Najika isn’t too focused on her special talent, what she wants is to find the boy who first inspired her to live by giving her some flan to eat after her parents passed away leaving Najika all by herself. And the only thing she has to go by is a spoon that was included with the flan leading her to the prestigious Seika Academy. The manga follows Najika through her ups and downs at Seika Academy as she discovers and navigates through her inherent cooking/baking talent and secretly searches for the boy that stole her heart so many years ago. So. I am a total sucker for insipid high school romance stories and this was one of the prime ones I’ve read a long time ago. Plus I’ve already read manga with Kobayashi’s artwork and Ando’s storyline and I knew I loved their artist/writer combination so this one wouldn’t disappoint me. Of course this is only 1 of 5 omnibus volumes which contains both volumes 1 & 2 and I can’t wait to slowly collect the rest of the volumes month by month, so excited!

The Ancient Magus’ Bride by Kore Yamazaki Another manga I’ve been wanting to get for a while! So for a while I’ve seen this manga really gaining a huge following over the years to the point that I even saw it being sold at my high school’s Scholastic book fair. Honestly, I wasn’t all about this book back then especially after reading summary of it despite it really being everything I should want in a manga (I was stupidly only focused on those insipid high school romance manga I mentioned before). But the years passed and I once again happened upon it at my local library and thought heck I may as well try it and see where it got me. And boy did it get me. Right from the start I was dragged under with its basic yet fascinating fantasy elements especially with its otherworldly characters and lore behind it all. It had pretty much everything I could ever hope for: an immersive and developing side-world within the real world, unique and magnetic characters, a developing magical lore, and even a small hint and undercurrent of a budding romance between the two main characters. And if my memory serves me right, I believed that the first novel actually was the one that explored the character relations and romance aspect the most so I decided to finally buy it for myself so that I could return to it at any point I wished. plus the first couple volumes had the most magical lore exploration and artwork as well so heck, another reason why I should buy this novel! Aaaaaand finally... last but not least:

Waiting for you by Susanne Colassanti Yeah, yet another insipid high school romance novel by one of my favorite YA authors. What? I love these novels especially the ones that explore the heavy mental disorders and how it feels/is to live with them on a day to day basis. This one features Marissa a teen high school girl that suffers from general anxiety and the depression that stems from it as well. The book is pretty much how she navigates her spiraling family, her search for a boyfriend, and how to support her friend Sterling who is constantly attracted to boys that are well outside her age range. Although I do love this book to absolute bits because of its mental health awareness, I feel like the book is more of a summary of the things Marissa goes through and it doesn’t really emotionally or spiritually connect with the situations that she faces. They kind of fall flat most of the time since a lot of these things are mostly told rather than shown I guess. Shame because this book really faces some serious thoughts about depression and all.

So these are some of the books I’ve been dying to buy for myself and finally decided enough was enough and bought them for myself a few days ago. Of course this isn’t a complete list of all the books I’ve wanted for myself, which i why this is just a PART 1 post as I’m already planning to buy the books which were out of stock at B&N’s today. So definitely tune in and follow me to get a notification about the future post about the other books that I decide to buy for myself and a possible deconstruction behind them as well!!! Thank you for everyone who read this post to the very end, and here’s a kookie as thanks and congrats 🍪<---- kookie!!! I really hope I didn’t bore y’all out of your minds with this deconstruction, and for those who left in the middle of it, I’m really sorry you didn’t decide to stay to the end but I understand that I can be very monotonous at times (damn me and my perfectionist nature!!!).

Anyhow, thank you all my lovelies for reading all of this again, and follow me to keep an eye out for a part 2 of this!!! Good night my lovelies, sweet dreams and as always.... I’ll catch you all on the flip-blog side!

~ Distant-Stargirl out!

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