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multifandomslxt · 2 days

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Hey Krystal! 💎 It's me again 😌

Hope you've been well. 🥰

WayV members as type of rich bfs (sugar daddies) 👀..... Anything and everything within this prompt is most welcome 🤭. Have a great day bye ❤

Hey sweetheart! how are you?

You scared me again with the name ngl lmaoo

but it's all good

ENJOY<333

Way V Members as Sugar Daddies

MDNI

MINORS GO AWAY

Kun

He's a bit hard to get through to at first IMO

When he says sugar daddy he means money in exchange for accompanying him to events

he's so strict with himself that he really doesn't allow it to get past that.

That's all it is for a few months yk?

until you express that it seems a bit weird because you were definitely expecting more...

And Kun like the damn provider he is

gives you just that...more

but definitely explains to you that he's a possessive little shit.

good pu$$y turns a perfectly sane man in to a mad man pt.1

he's mad asf for youuuu

now that s3x is involved this man SPOILSSSSSSS you

way more than he was doing prior

which seems a bit impossible because babyyy you were getting bagsssss

he's so strict too like he makes it clear that you belong to him

period.

istg at some point he graduates from sugar daddy to husband

you want a spontaneous trip to some crazy rich island? ok, no problem

you want a bag that costs way too much money? he'll get you that in the next 2 hours

also...don't let that cute smile fool you, the man is a menace.

"Can't believe I deprived myself of this pretty c*nt" he thrusts inside you so slow...dangerously slow

"That's right baby Daddy's right here to give you everything you need"

Ten

Maam.

he gets right to it. lmaooo

Tells you that he needs you to accompany him to events and asks you if you're ok with other "stuff"

duhhh

first off the chemistry between y'all is AMAZINGGG

We all know this man loves fashion so having the latest designer pieces is a given

what starts off as a lil service after events

blooms into something more

very protective of you

baby he doesn't play about you or the custom diamonds he put around your neck. TRUST!

compared to before the relationship bloomed the s3x between you two was rather respectful?...yh that's the word

now?

LMAOOOOO

he rips that shit off youuu

President of the "I'll just buy you a new one" club

it's rough btw unlike Kun, Ten is rough and occasionally enjoys it when you're on top

hehe

"fuck...I'd choose this pu$$y over diamonds any day"

Winwin

See how pretty this man is?

yeah he's gonna make sure you're even prettier than him

Literally bathes you in expensive shit.

SPOILLS you omggg

it's worrying sometimes

to the point where the bank calls him

asking if he's aware that there is a concerning amount of money leaving his account

From head to toe it's luxuryyyyy

the s3x is good....just good

I'm sure I've said this before but Winiwn strikes me as someone who just gets to it.

not too rough not too gentle yk?

its just right

he does like when you wear that little diamond collar he got you when he's ball deep inside you though

he's strictly sugar daddy btw

I think he'd prefer that

Xiaojun

if you manage to pull him and keep him you're one lucky mf

this man moves through sugar babies like the days of the week

He likes the thrill of it all imo

yes he'll spoil you

but you better make sure the pleasure you give him is worth the 100k he just splurged

"C'mon now princess, Daddy knows you can do way better than that" he whispers teasingly as your body trembles from exhaustion and overstimulation

he likes to be kept on his toes

and you keep surprising him

your bills are paid and you're getting f*cked dumb

and he has the prettiest girl to spoil and break

It's a win-win honestly

Hendery

he's so sweet at first omlll

yes he dotes on you and all that jazz

but you guys actually become friends yk?

he's a whole gentleman

never crossing the line

just kind and attentive

gets you WHATEVER you want

and mean ANYTHING

nothing is out of reach for his baby

he just expects you to behave

but what's the fun in that?

let him catch you trying to buy things with your own money

or some shit like that

you are DONEE

when he f*cks you

he ensures that you merge with the mattress

takes "fuck you into the mattress" literally

ass up face down supremacy

do not play with him like that.

"Move your hand baby, I told you actions have consequences"

Yang Yang

This mf is just horny

lmaooo

very possessive oml

and not in the mature way like Kun or the gentlemanly way like Hendery

but possessive like a damn child

you go to parties together and he doesn't want you talking for anybody else too long

look at him and only him

the fucker got you a carrier bracelet with his name embedded into it

and told you to wear it at all times

for the most part, he's harmless

extremely touchy-feely

controls his urges well though

unless you're fucking around too much

then he has to show you why you should just let him be

it's fast and hard

I'm so serious

This MF can go roundsss

because he's desperate asf

BABY TRAPPING CENTRAL

"Such a fuckin' tease. let's see how much teasing you'll do when I swell you up hm?"

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vapolis · 1 day

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not to out myself but seven from infamous isn't even that bad 🤓 why is everyone coming after them lmaooo imagine u getting kicked out of your own band and them still being successful nah I'd be worse

#and every interaction w them has been sure distant but whaaaat am I missing#so far I went after every ro and it's been fun#the outrage from asks I've seen from the authors blog is hilarious now that ik whats going on

THIS!!! seven’s reaction about the band fight is realistic- they feel hurt and acted according to how they feel (even if they hate mc which makes sense with their personality. like. i understand ppl are hurt by seven’s feelings towards mc currently but it makes sense for seven as a character lmao- they feel a lot and express it a lot! does that mean mc deserves the amount of seven’s bitterness? well not really? maybe? i don’t know. i try to see both sides tbh but i feel like i understand seven more tbh. and they have been distant but as a defence mechanism and also BOTB is eagerly waiting for them both to interact and i feel like the last thing seven wants rn is more drama😭)

sorry for this ramble i just wanted to state my thoughts! :D

yeah, I agree their reaction makes sense considering the history. I don't even get the vibe that seven hates the mc? I might be in the minority here but the one POV scene we've gotten from seven just shows how conflicted they are and how they can't help themself with falling back into the mcs orbit -- that's at least how I read it.

their bitterness isn't even that bitter. maybe I'm just used to more drama and toxicity from other IFs or books in general I've read but they're just hurt. like that's it. Idk if I played it wrong or something but even playing a mc that's still in love with seven and it's not that bad. that's not me saying the mc deserves it either way and I've definitely played for max drama with some of the choices I picked but at the end of the day their interactions have been distant but ok.

maybe I'm really just someone that loves maximum messiness but I don't see it in their route (despite us still being just at the beginning).

#asks #need someone to go off the rails fr for me to understand the outrage

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mistysblueboxstuff · 2 days

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Question: What, in your opinion, makes someone more "paintable" than someone else? It's not how conveniently good looking they are, from what I can tell (no dissing, that is merely my observation). I'd really like to know. Thanks!

well that's a good question anon! let's see

okay so since yesterday i said Sam Lake is very paintable, let's use him as an example (I'm so very sorry to Sam as I'm about to dissect his face xD)

okay, so as someone who likes painting faces, the first thing i notice on people are the eyes (i think that's what most people notice first, right?). these are very paintable eyes. you have a bit of asymmetry going on, which is nice (don't let anyone tell you asymmetry is not beautiful, they're lying ok), they're expressive, shaped in a way that's fun to paint (idk how to explain this one) and a really really nice colour, very bright and reflective (all eye colours are beautiful however). so that's one thing

so the next thing i notice would be the overall shape of the face, planes, shadows etc. using this picture cos it illustrates all of that really well and it's also a very nice picture so pls enjoy

so this guy has some very sharp features (sort of like David Tennant, who i also like to paint a lot, incidentally) and idk that's fun for me for some reason xD i think in general soft-featured faces are also a bit more difficult to paint (think Michael Sheen, Philip Quast), although they're also very paintable, just a bit trickier

anyway, the next thing that makes me think someone is paintable is their side profile:

artistically speaking, this is a very interesting side profile, especially in the right light such as this one (cos Mr Photographer is a genius, bless Sergei Sarakhanov). like look at that, that's every portrait artist's dream right there

additionally, what makes someone paintable (for me, at least) is their general vibe. which also means I'm usually at least somewhat familiar with what they do and i happen to like it, i know a little bit about them and the kind of person they might be (which you obviously can't really know unless you know someone personally, but you can certainly get an impression of what they're like). Sam Lake passes the vibe check, pls refer to this video as proof:

youtube

anyway, your point about "conventional good looking-ess" - idk what that means xD i struggle a lot with the concept of attractiveness and what that means for people cos i don't see people in that way myself. i think most humans are beautiful (the ones who are not are just people who might be considered objectively "bad", like if you're a bad person, you can never be beautiful imho) though. for me it's mostly about the inner light, so to speak. sometimes you can just see it, no? like in the way someone looks at other people, the way they talk, their overall demeanour, whether or not they make an effort to be kind to others. you can see it in their work, as well.

idk if any of that answers your question nonny :') but somehow the people i end up painting the most all seem to be really good eggs. my brain finds them paintable cos painting them makes brain happy. that sounds kinda dumb though xD but it is what it is xD

#reply #anonymous #text #long post

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inconsistent-kuroshitsuji-blog · 22 hours

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Hello. If you don't mind, I'd like to ask for headcanons about the kuro characters and their favourite video game genres/series? ^_^

Absolutely.

Kuro characters and their favourite video game genres/series

don't know why, but he looks like he'd enjoy simulator games

if Black Butler would've happened in the modern day (and someone would've taught this grandpa how to use technology) he would probably used these to learn the things he needs to know as a human

cooking simulator (or Cooking Mama), school simulator, anything that could be useful like that

definitely also enjoys slasher games

simply judging by the way he enjoyed that bloodbath on the Campania, he'd looooooove extremely violent games

idk, I don't know too many in that genre, but Dead by Daylight could be one of his faves

but nothing with guns. Those things are beneath him. He wants the real thrill of the kill

oh, please, as if he'd even know what that is

he doesn't even have time for this

imagine the hours wasted on lines of code and digital pixels

do you know that one game where it's basically like a VR job simulator with different kinds of jobs like cook or office or gas station? Instead of humans, the NPCs are robots that insult you at every given opportunity and set you up for failure. Yeah, he'd like that.

also, Powerwash Simulator

ok, stereotypical, but dress up games

especially Style Savvy (ngl, these games are way too good)

other than that, she seems like a casual enjoyer of Animal Crossing

except that she bullies all the ugly neighbours off of her island and hunts for very specific characters (so basically like me)

another obvious choice is Bayonetta

I mean, have you looked at her? Slashing her way through demons and angels while having chainsaws for arms and legs? The cunty outfits?

Let me tell you: Bayonetta and Grell? An iconic match made in heaven

I can't decide

either he's a die-hard Mario Kart player or a huge Sonic enthusiast (the older games, not the newer ones)

he probably doesn't have enough time to really play though, since he's either out working overtime or out partying

he doesn't seem like a shooter person

okay, this is coming out of me because of a huge lack of sleep (it's currently 1 am where I'm living), but why does he look like he would drunkenly play Fortnite or Roblox?

"You got games on your phone?" No, back the fuck up dude. You're an adult.

Why did I just write that? Inco, what's wrong with you?

this is very specific, but that one Coraline game for the Wii and the DS

he's definitely leaning more towards psychological horror games

American McGee's Alice and Alice: Madness Returns. You can't convince me otherwise

he's an unfairly skilled Mario Kart player, to the point that it almost seems like he's cheating (he's 100% cheating, just like when playing Uno)

on the other hand, he's a huuuuge sucker for Kirby games

doesn't matter what type or gimick, he loves it and has perfected it down to the last frame

but you'd never know unless he wanted you to know (and I know it because I am God and run on my last bar of my batterie and because he's officially and undeniably my husband, deal with it. Omfg, this is so fucking cringe, I'm gonna go shoot myself, I'll be right back.)

well, first of all, you need to explain everything to him because he couldn't even read the instructions on the screen (I'm 100% convinced that his eyesight is pure batshit and he's just cheating his way through the manga through some deus-ex-machina type of shit)

newsflash, but he loves horror games

I really see him with games like Resident Evil or Don't Starve Together

also, Undetale

you know, because of morals and choices and consequences and all that (surely not because of a skeleton with dry humour)

maybe it would help to show him a bathing simulator so this crusty man learns how to clean himself

is it too obvious and on the nose to say The Mortuary Assistant?

omg, look at him! My boy! Finally animated! I love him so much! My boy!

ahem, so anyway...

Trombone Champ

he'd play it on his loudest speakers just to annoy the hell out of everyone

also, you know those really cheap horror games you can find on Steam that are really terrible? He lives for those

idk why, but he seems like he'd enjoy Portal

and Assassin's Creed. Especially the first four mainline games

continueing with puzzle games, he really enjoys Professor Layton, no doubt

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That's it for now. It's almost 2 am and I have to help out at a sports event I only registered for to watch some random kids suffer in the heat. But now I have to wake up early for that... Oh, how ironically bitchy life is. And to top it all of I have to work the graveyard shift today. Coffee and energy will be my best friend today.

So, yeah, that's it for now. Or maybe not, maybe I'll pull an all-nighter simply so I can't oversleep. If you're up for a part 2 just slide into my requests and I'll see what I can do.

Until then~

Your Inconsistent Kuroshitsuji Blog~

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thedreadvampy · 6 months

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The thing is I am definitely not happy or chill in the Immediate Sense lately but I am, big picture, so fucking happy with the person I am.

It's like. My brain was made by and for consistent trauma and since that trauma stopped about 5-7 years ago, it is incredible what the amount of resilience and cleverness and flexibility and thoughtfulness I developed to survive can do when it's not being all spent on surviving. like I had a hundred ton weight on me so I had to get REALLY STRONG to stay in the same place and not get 100% crushed, and when that weight came off I found I can use the strength it used to take to stand up and I can leap tall buildings in a single bound.

I was talking to my mum the other day and she said, "you've got the 'fuck it' energy at 30 that most women don't find until their fifties at least" and I'm like yeah man. Imagine how unstoppable I'll be in 20 years.

#red said #i don't know that i can express this clearly but it's the most encouraging thing in my life #my mum's always been proud of me but just lately she seems to actually really admire me #like she's genuinely impressed. she thinks I've surpassed her. i don't necessarily agree but it's a really nice quiet joy.#anyway like this sounds super up myself and it kind of is.#but also it's part of realising just how heavy the weight I've been carrying around with me for 25 years was #like not to be ridiculous but i have realised again this week. that it isn't that everyone's been raped that much and doesn't talk about it #i just have been raped an Unusually Consistent Amount. i have spoken to a lot of people who have had much more horrifying things happen.#I'm not sure I've talked to more than a couple of people who've had a similar level of total consistency of abuse from all angles #and the one is not heavier or harder to bear that the other. but. i think i spent most of my life listening to people's awful experiences #and going ok well nothing i went through looked that bad so it's microtrauma #obviously microtraumas build up but still.#then the older i get and the more i have these conversations the more I notice that stuff which to me is a microtrauma #is a lot of people's defining trauma. and they're reacting appropriately which means i am SO SEVERELY UNDERREACTING #told my friend the other day about a time someone who i still like and respect was having sex with me when i paralocated my hip #and then just kept getting really annoyed with me for not being ready to have sex again while i was literally crying with pain #until i caved and just tried to find the last painful position #and my friend was like pal what the fuck that's horrific #and i was like i mean no that's normal I've had sex with like maybe 3 or 4 people in my life who i haven't had similar stuff with #like i am genuinely thrown when i am allowed to say no to sex and have it be the end of the conversation. and not end up having sex #out of guilt or out of physical coercion or through physical rape. and i have had sex with probably like 40 people at this stage?#and I'm not sure it's as many as 4 i haven't had that experience with tbh #so like. I'm slowly coming to terms with the idea #that i may have actually been doing a hell of a lot of heavy lifting.#like i developed a sense of self that can survive being constantly crushed and at this stage is fucking diamond.

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seventh-district · 8 days

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not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go

(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)

#today's gone Badly and i'm upset but instead of venting abt it i'm gonna channel that energy into doing a bit of tag rambling abt Boothill #well. less abt Him and more abt uh. self-analyzing my anxiety surrounding contributing to fandoms. he's just today's catalyst #like. i know it's mostly a me thing. i'm hypersensitive to criticism and very conflict avoidant + socially anxious + perfectionistic etc.#so I'm the one that keeps myself from posting more stuff out of fear of being criticized or called-out for what i've made #bc inevitably Someone's gonna see it and think its OOC or a problematic take or they'll misread my intent. etc etc what have you #but like. that's inevitable. there's no way to communicate every single thing with all of the nuance required to avoid misunderstandings #and other times it's not a misunderstanding it's just a difference of opinions and that's Fine!! there's no accounting for personal taste #there's no accounting for several things actually. taste‚ bias‚ lore-knowledge‚ differing levels of chronic-online-ness‚ etc #so this isn't me complaining abt the state of fandom culture (although i do think. sometimes. ppl take shit a bit too seriously)#but anyways all of this is mostly just anxiety-fueled. it's not like i very often actually even receive negative feedback or anything #if anything ppl tend to tell me that i'm overthinking it and killing my own fun and worried that my stuff is more OOC than it is #which like. yeah. Yeah u right :) but that's just the way that i am! always losing the idgaf war i suppose #anyways what's Boothill got to do w this ur wondering. well. i've been thinking abt the quickly emerging concept that he's illiterate.#and it just. has me feeling a lot of ways. and watching ppl disagree over it has me feeling some Bad ways. bc it's def a loaded topic!#if you'll pardon the pun there. and i don't rlly have anything new to add other than that i'm conflicted abt it.#like yeah i saw the leaks days ago. of him mentioning 'not hitting the books' much as a child when we ask him why he sends voice messages #or voice Transcriptions ig. ykwim. and like. *braces for impact* ...i liked it? like. it doesn't feel right to call it endearing #i'm not trying to infantilize him. ok that's not the right word either but ugh. you know? what i mean?? who am i kidding even i don't know #it's not quite right to say that it feels like Representation either. but it's something close i guess #as a southern person myself who didn't receive a 'complete' education due to factors that weren't to do with my intelligence #the concept of seeing him as a capable force to be reckoned with and respected who also happens to have not received much formal education #i like that. i do. but there's so many issues w it at the same time. like. as i said‚ being southern myself has me Wary of the way Hoyo is-#writing him. as well as of the way that the fandom is taking the bits of his lore and running away w them. and i'm Very aware of how ppl-#will see a southern character and be All Too Eager to agree that they're lacking intelligence based on our Redneck™ stereotype #sigh. and before we even go too far with this. it's not even confirmed that hes completely illiterate. which is a valid criticism i've seen #there's Multiple reasons that could make him prefer voice to text. but regardless. i'm just worried that ppl will misconstrue my intentions #like. example: that edit i made the other day of him saying 'no thanks i can't read'. wasn't me playing into the stereotype of-#'haha dumb country boy can't read!' it was. in my eyes. something he'd say as a joke to make light of a potential insecurity #like. i think there's far more depth to Boothill's character if ppl could look past the surface. and i dont wanna contribute to the problem #but sometimes ppl Will have stereotypical traits and i wish the same could apply to characters as long as it's done Thoughtfully.

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softshuji · 23 days

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Any men out there wanna pretend to be my bf to get my parents off my case about marriage? I am so so serious right now.

#my mom gave me a really really lonf lecture and upset me because her and my dad want me to start thinking about settling down ans getting #married. again. cos this comes up all the time. ans I reiterated that i do wanna marry and have kids. i know im 26 years old why do they'#think im also not aware of this??? like i suddenly forgot my own age and have my head in the clouds all the time. and i got so heated cos i #said they only believe in that in theory. in reality neither of them have accepted the idea od my leaving home or the idea of mw being with #a man. and they start freaking out if they even find out i talk to them so to say they want me to get married is so fucking naive #ans when i mentioned this and that they're more than ok w mt brothers talking tp women she said that if i wanted to settle down she could #talk to dad and they could “go about finding someone for me” and I've never been so pissed #i got so upset. why does everyone keep saying this to me. as if anyone my dad knows could ever be a half decent man #and the truth is they don't care if im in a happy marriage they've accepted that i won't be they only care that im gone and saving face in #front of family. that's all. it's always reputation it's always “what will people say?”#not once did love come up. not once did shw even imply that i should marryfor love #or that they hope i love someone and marry them. because they're more happy with the idea of me marrying for the sake of it than #they are at the idea of me finding genuine lovw #im not a fucking broodmare im not here to push out babies for the sake od reputation.#and then i said nor being married isn't the end of the world and she said “it's important that you settle down”#and i said im unwavering in my principles. she can call mw high maintenance like she loves doing but I'm not wavering on the #kind of man i want to be with and when i do marry him i want it to bw genuine. because be loves me and vice versa not because im ticking off #somethin from a damn checklist to appease them. and if being unwavering on my principles means staying unmarried then so be it.#my obligations are to god and myself and that's it #and y'know what??? i am in love with a boy already #and yet they don't care that i wanna be in love at all. no im just a puppet to follow a certain narrative in life live according to evergone #else has and that's it.#im done.#and then she tried to apologise by getting me a slice of cake and that somehow made me feel worse.#i dont want an apology. i want to be heard and actually listened to for once. i want someone to ask what i want. to actually give a shit #and love me cos it's me. not cos im some thing to further an agenda. or some toy or puppet that does your bidding.#is it so much??? to just want to be loved in return? to marry and live according to how i want to?? ans not want anyone to make these #decision's for me?#ruined my whole day.

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elephantbitterhead · 1 month

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Having finally been driven to blacklisting content, I'd like to take this moment to say that no annoying/overexposed/boring/formulaic/etc. musician will ever be as irritating to me as their fans and their haters are.

#let us all shut up more often & more vigorously #especially about the artistic virtues & vices of strangers whose lives affect us not at all #amen #just go about your business in peace #also why is this something that happens to me so often #so many musicians I could do without attract the most devoted evangelists #for example #perhaps I could have learned to like Nick Cave #but I will never know because too many Cave-ites were constantly trying to ram him into my ears at every turn #and eventually I rebelled on principle because so many annoying people were trying to make me do the same thing #there are very few people with whom I want to have in-depth conversations about music #as someone who does not press music upon others #I don't understand this behavior #if you like the music I am playing #presumably you will ask about it #if you hate it #I assume you'll let me know #that's good enough for me #also if you hate the music I'm playing & say so #I will not start crying about how the music is actually great & the musician is secretly the messiah #I will play something else that we can both enjoy #I am OK with you not liking my music #I can blast it for myself when you are not around

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sherlock-is-ace · 1 month

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.

#oh wow...#i just had an oh shit fuck moment #wow #i usually complain about the one therapist i had in my entire life and how she wouldn't just listen to what i was saying #if it didn't fit her textbook definition of whatever she was thinking at the time #and how i talked to her about my anxiety and how that made me feel and she would only focus on how i acted #so the example i gave her was the one time i went into a shop to buy something by myself #because my mom didn't want to go in for me and arguing with my mom in front of the shop in public and then inevitably have to #go in myself either way was way worse to me #because of the embarrassement of arguing in public. the fact that my mom was gonna spend the entire walk home telling me how i have to #''just suck it up and learn and just overcome my anxiety because i don't have a problem'' or whatever #and then having to go into the shop where the lady had been watching me from inside the entire time how i clearly didn't want to go in #and possibly be even more awkward with teary eyes because of the anxiety and awkwardness i already bring to the table any day...#all of those things that were going inside my head were trumped by the fact that i did go in and did buy what i needed #although my heart was coming out of my chest the entire time... all that didn't matter to my therapist because in her words:#''if you had anxiety. you simply wouldn't have gone in''#which is ridiculous #but anyways... i just had an epiphany... that was masking wasn't it?#forcing myself to do something that brings me major discomfort to make my mother and the shop lady not judge me?#pretend i'm a normal human being just doing normal things instead of someone who's about to have a heart attack buying embroidery thread?#panicking the entire time because i wasn't prepeared and hadn't scripted the entire transaction in my head?#yet still going in and putting on my ''normal person'' mask to try to seem like i wasn't just dying seconds ago (and still was)?#isn't that literally what masking is?!#and the ''autism specialist'' ass therapist was like ''if you did it then you don't have a problem''#when i'm literally telling her how much of a problem it actually WAS?!#you know what's the best part about all this #that when i told my mom after i left that therapist that she didn't listen to me because [insert everything above]#my mom's response was ''well sometimes therapist will say things that you don't want to hear but you have to accept them''....#same woman who's always saying how much she hates therapists because they ''will say whatever and pretend they know shit''#ok so it's only The Truth when I tell you it isn't...

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garrettwrites · 9 months

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When someone tells you they don't like hugs, that's not an invitation for you to "cure them". It is not a "you" thing, although sometimes it might be. You thinking "they have to get used to it" because "your hugs are different" and "that's how you show love" is not a valid argument. Hugging them out of the blue as a goodbye is not cool either. Fuck off.

#ok to rb in case someone is in the same boat but thinks the post is too personal #this friend of mine...#pretends he's great but can't respect one basic thing #he's lucky I have grown to control my emotions and not lash out #i hate it #don't hug me or touch me end of line #i am honest to god feeling sick #this dude and I have history where I borderline felt incapable of saying no and had sex with him #afterwards I told him how I felt #yet he still pulls this shit #hugs make me sick to my stomach I don't even hug my family #and I really don't wanna hug a man who pretty much made me hate sex (for myself) as a whole #i feel disgusting rn #twice he hugged me and got mad when I refused to hug him again #even after I already told him I hated it #then asks if I'm scared of him because of that like you piece of shit I wanna rip my skin out where you touched it #I may pretend to everyone that I'm a strong confident man but good lord #sometimes I wish I had an over protective boyfriend so he could kick him in the teeth over this shit #it's ridiculous I know but fuck #apologies if you read all these tags but I over drank after this and none of my friends are awake and I needed to vent #garrett.text

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bison-appreciation-club · 4 months

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so yall telling me that i am wanted and lovable...

#like. i got invited to someone's birthday and i thought it was at the wrong place #so i went there and they weren't there and in a previous friend group they used to tell me to wait for them in a certain place #and they'd never arrive. and it would turn out that everyone else had gone and were having fun without me knowing i would just be waiting #for them. and so i was like. huh. guess that happened again #but turns out i was just in the wrong place and now i feel like shit #because i feel like it's all gonna be one massive trick and i feel like a dick for not being able to trust anyone #i'm so used to not asserting myself and not saying what i want because i've been taught i won't be lovable otherwise and now i don't know #when i'm lovable and when i'm not. what do you mean i can be lovable without having to do anything first? lmao ok then #and my friends are all so nice to me and i feel bad for being so suspicious because of past experiences #vent in tags #dee rambles #to delete #tw vent

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heatobrienswife · 4 months

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#tw: death #tw: irl death #tw: parent death #ok those tags will make sense in a moment but! cause I've been going back through my s/is lore it made think a lil deeper into her #relationship with o'b (true heat) n well the thought of them talking about kids came up #both o'b n myself irl have a genetic that can lead to terminal illness n cause my s/i is me she has it too #o'b carries a disease in his blood that killed his sister n mine can lead to terminal cancer not 100% but I'm more likely to possibly get it #over someone who doesn't have the same gene it's what killed my own dad irl #so i like the idea of both of them like bonding on that level knowing they both have like this *monster* inside them inside their genetics #n well its comforting to me to know he knows exactly how i feel irl #idk cause of the whole his ashes finally being ready for pick up thing it sorta opened old *wounds* n my fear of dying like he did #i know I'm gonna die someday everyone is but i don't wanna die the way he did #i think I'm venting uogihviyv not what i meant to do! I'm not looking for comfort! just brain werms went screwy lol #but i really like the idea of the two of them having a bonding moment over their fears n grief in a way that only people in that position #can #n it's comforting so ojghvihfiv #shut up rattie no one gives a shit lol

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burinazar · 6 months

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It's a bit funny that to parts of my circles I'm 'the fandom one'/'the fanfic one'/'the shipping one' as the person they know most prominently into such things

because as much as i love writing my fics and shipping my ships my interest in both of those things is, I think, very narrow and specific compared to most people who are into them? due to my habits being like. very particular

#i think some ppl think of me as ahh my buddy who is always reading fanfic and i'm like. look. i would LIKE to be that. but i'm not #it's comically difficult to get me to sit down and read a new fanfic. for no discernable reason #the fandoms i like to read for don't even have big fic scenes but i've still checked out such a narrow portion of them #(and these fandoms are like. just a few. leaving aside MiA's dead tag. LOGH + T&B + Vorkosigan + ...anything else here would be a lie)#(Queen's Thief + Temeraire + TMA are on the backburner rn for reading fic but they were faves before yet i read SO little of what existed)#(everything else i just check out very occasionally or when directly recc'd)#i think mmmaaaybe 'my buddy who reads tons of fic' would be the case if there were new fics about the sages coming out every day #they're sort of a unique hyperfixation for me lol #but there are NOT. instead there are ((checks))#four (4) english language belavue fics on AO3 that are not by me #AND two of them i would say do not actually have any ship content and were likely just tagged that to be safe #as far as non ship content there are ((checks again)) 21 English language fics tagged with Belaf and I wrote 13 of them ........#(and 17 for Vueko and i wrote 10. two of the others barely mention her and shouldn’t be tagged lol) …guys i'm starving............#ok you read to the bottom of the tags you get to hear a selfish wish #i kind of hope that someday...someone will...write some fic about the sages either because of me or for me #gen or ship it doesnt matter #but this kind of thing usually happens in AO3 exchanges though and there aren't ones in this fandom because the fic scene is so miniscule #i'm literally running one right now off AO3 but have a feeling it will end up being mostly art and also didn't put myself in as a requester #since the people participating have largely made stuff for me as gifts before and i have a glut of lovely work from them #and again that exchange will mostly end up being art i feel and not fic. but some other time... i still wish ... more fic... pleae..plaeabs #there are very specific reasons i don't want to host an MiA fic exchange through AO3. i can guess the kind of stuff some people will reques #(the kind of stuff that's already in the tag.) and it's not stuff i feel like moderating an exchange involving >_> so i won't #but god.. ... ..... someday......i hope....there can be an exchange where i ask for somethinga bout these people.............

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pollen · 8 months

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can i get a bit real? i've been trying to think about what i can do to make myself want to be an active participant in my life and it's terribly difficult knowing what i want, big picture and even just in the moment. i'm starting small: what can i do right now to want to be in my life? what do i want to do? how do i want to be spending my time? i really just don't know. coasting has gotten too easy. too comfortable and unnerving.

#like i really just have no idea what i like really i just go along with whatever and it's making me so alienated from myself #i think a lot of it has to do with the agency i was at previously as well. the toxicity and burnout i was dealing with #i'm just so used to numbing myself to get through the day that now that i don't want to do that anymore i don't know what to replace it wit #*with #it's very exciting because i'm hungry for being alive but very overwhelming because no one's telling me what to do #and i don't have to live my life trying to make myself someone who's ok with being told to do things that i don't feel good at #but who am i underneath that! i'm someone. and probably someone decent if not great #but um AH making decisions. being alone with my thoughts. AH AH AH

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jellybeanium124 · 17 days

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nobody has mentioned this so hopefully that means you would... not be mad? haha? maybe?? maybe I can mention having a very stigmatized kink and it'll be okay? hopefully?? everyone can be normal maybe? I'm still me I haven't changed hopefully this won't change things at all and I've been terrified of sharing this part of myself for no reason??

#honestly genuinely really scared to post this #the recent vocal tummy love has made me less worried #because even if y'all don't have a kink related to it maybe you understand?#but I'm scared loving tummies is ok until you have a wg/stuffing kink and then you're a gross fatphobic evil predator or smth #someone thinking I see a fat person and want to do things to them against their will #is no better than someone who thinks all gay people want to have sex with everyone of the same gender all the time.#I don't think I have to over-explain myself #I mean I can #I've thought up entire essays as a way to come out about this #the autistic need to be extremely verbose continues #but part of me doesn't want to be... like do I need to write 5k words about my journey towards self acceptance?#do I need to explain myself any more than: this is a part of me. I don't want to hide anymore.#because I was born this way and I don't want to hide anymore #haha what if I delete this in 2 minutes because I'm a fucking coward

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iwanttobepersephone · 17 days

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Just suddenly got hit with the memories of all the times I tried to interact with people and got absolutely and utterly ignored and its so awkward I'm FIGHTING the urge to dissappear for a week

#saw like 3 people get their cats drawn as rangers #took the chance and sent in photos of my own cat #never got a response #someone asked for autistic headcanons #I replied with something I see my brother do that I thought fit the character really well #was ignored #I'm fighting for my life rn oml #“its ok to be awkward and weird and that doesn't mean you don't deserve a presence online plenty of people think you're cool and nice”-#me to myself #funny #rambles #I have a band trip to six flags on Saturday tho and I have a feeling I'm gonna want to post about that so I CAN'T dissappear

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