bare with me… thoughts not leaving me head (nsft-ish in the tags)

Talk Shit, Get Hit

prompt: ( requested ) your high school bully picks the wrong day to taunt you and it's up to an equally hotheaded Billy to calm you down. call it irony.

pairing: Billy Hargrove x female!reader characters are ALL aged 18 years old

fandom masterlist: Stranger Things

word count: 5.4k+

note: the reader is aggressive. the reader is violent. the reader’s hands are rated ‘E’ for Everyone.

warnings: you know the drill: author projects instead of going to therapy and uses personal experience as details. there's physical violence, aggressive reader, depiction of shitty home life / toxic family, (somewhat severe) abusive alcoholic parent, parental abandonment, cursing, bullying, Jason Carver's sister is the bully, injury and blood. cursing, threats, brief cigarette and illicit material use (marijuana / weed), i guess this is hurt and comfort, angst, we talk about Billy's abuse with Neil, too, and kinda abrupt ending.

PLEASE NOTE -

this fic will depict parental abuse, both emotional and physical. this fic will discuss an alcoholic parent. this fic will detail physical violence BY the reader.

DO NOT engage if any of these topics potentially trigger you. you will miss nothing if you decide to skip. author implores readers to value and prioritize their own comfort and mental health.

Of all the days Brittany Carver could've chosen, she picked the worst day imaginable to bully you - being akin to a ticking time bomb. To your immense surprise, she'd laid off that entire week, focused on the "big" cheerleading competition she was leading Hawkins High to victory in. It left her no energy to engage in her favorite past time of tormenting you; figuring that after 6 years of her brutal behavior, she had grown up and lost interest. You weren't someone who people bullied easily, but this thing with Brittany, it was some kind of twisted pissing contest; competition brewing in elementary school that boiled over during middle school and now lasted into high school.

However, God seemed to have a sick sense of humor because on the week your bully had temporarily forgotten your existence, things at home had escalated to a new height not previously known. It was true what they said: if it wasn't one thing, it was another.

The entire week, your mother had only been sober for - well - none of it. She was found morning, noon, and night slumped over in various locations around your home with different bottles of liquor in her grip. The house grew messier each day, a direct result of a checked-out parent refusing to do any chore and destructive little monsters that took form as your twin little brothers. You couldn't keep up, playing mother, sister, housewife, personal maid, and full-time student all at once; pushing your stress levels higher, making you bitter and short tempered. The times your mother was conscious, which was typically to find a new bottle of alcohol, she was a right nasty fuck.

Her bark matched her bite; not only yelling at you, belittling you, and gaslighting you - but also using physical aggression to "teach you a lesson" for being "disorderly" or "a waste of semen" - and yes, that is a direct quote. Her hands were dainty from malnourishment, bulging veins prominent, and despite your father abandoning the family ages go, she still wore her diamond wedding ring that left small cuts wherever she struck you. The times she wasn't sober enough to really "get" you, she put out cigarettes on your arms and thighs; leaving tiny, circular burn scars you coated in Neosporin. She’s been known to break a few wooden cooking spoons over your head, steal the money made from babysitting, even cashed-in your inheritance - pawning all of your dead grandmother’s jewelry. There were plenty of other examples, but dwelling on those instances wouldn't change the past or alter your future, so you stuffed them way deep down in your soul.

Naturally, you didn't say a Goddamn thing; under the impression that everyone had shitty family members they tolerated and that your home life was normal enough to not report to the police. You didn't know any better, you didn't know that your mother downing fifths of alcohol daily was cause for concern. You didn't know that abuse wasn't the standard - emotional or physical. It took years for you to learn that love wasn't supposed to hurt, that love wasn't supposed to scare you, that love wasn't selfish, that your mother didn't actually love you. It took years to convince yourself that you were worthy of love and acceptance, never receiving it from your mother - not knowing you could get it from anyone else.

And then, William fucking Hargrove - or Billy - breezed into your small hometown with a sweet denim-clad ass, golden, curly mullet, and a bad fucking attitude that rivaled your own.

It was a match made in heaven. Or hell.

You both suffered at the hands of your parental figures, turning abrasive and foul-mouthed as defense mechanisms. You and Billy developed hardened exteriors in an effort to protect your soft insides, and when you met officially, it was as if you two could see past that hard shell - straight through the bullshit. You recognized much of the same in one another - like looking in a mirror - and grew impossibly close in an incredibly short amount of time; grateful to have a second half who understood without ever needing explanation.

He just got you. Able to identify common threads between you. Billy understood you, having more empathy than you thought he could muster. He protected you. He loved you. He took care of you - and you did the exact same, considering you two were cut from the same cloth; wanting to assure him he was just as worthy of love as you.

Billy was known around Hawkins for being a womanizing jock with anger issues, and yet, when you finally agreed to go on a date with him, he never even looked at another girl twice. He felt as if dating his best friend, understanding that nobody else would truly understand him the way you do - so he did what he could to keep you.

He did his best to defend you, but there was only so many tangible things the star basketball player could protect you from. Gossip and petty cheerleaders, prime examples. Yet Billy still tried, even taking the liberty to confront Brittany's brother, Jason Carver, about leaving you alone. Unfortunately, it was as if Billy's concern spurred on the cheerleader's bullying, calling you pathetic for hiding behind a man and sending him to fight your battles. You told Billy to stay out of it, that you could handle the situation by yourself, that he would just make the situation much more sticky.

So he did. Billy backed off, letting you deal with the situation as best you deemed; offering his support in return, being a shoulder to cry on for the days your frustration peaked.

That entire week Brittany didn't bully you had been extraordinarily tiresome due to your mother's abuse, wanting to confide in Billy but refraining when you rationalized not bringing him into your bullshit. He had enough of his own. So, while, yes, it was a comfort to have him on your side, you never indulged Billy on the woes of your life. He was meant to be your escape, not your savior; the burden of shouldering your abuse while enduring his own feeling terribly unfair.

You kept quiet, even though you were silently begging for someone to save you. Yet you weren't a damsel, there was no Prince Charming, brave knight, chosen champion to slay the dragons terrorizing you.

However, your boyfriend was much more intuitive than you realized. You always prided yourself on your acting skills, convincing everyone around you that you were indifferent to your mother's temperament, even when showing up at school with a casted wrist, black eye, and split bottom lip. Turns out, parents in Hawkins gossiped much more than the kids, and soon, it felt like the entire town knew about your abusive alcoholic mother and runaway father. Nobody did anything to help you, they just tiptoed around the knowledge and stared at your injuries. Brittany Carver was the only person stupid enough to make the mistake of weaponizing your home situation.

It was a tepid spring afternoon, the sun peaking through the clouds and the first flowers sprouting from the thawing ground. The bell rang to dismiss for lunch, the hallways filled with mingling and milling students all grateful for the midday break. Some gathered in gaggles of friends, some headed directly for the cafeteria, and others, like you, utilized the time to exchange morning class books for afternoon materials. Your fractured wrist had long since healed, but there was a long, straight scar present as a result from the surgery you required; currently, a scabbing cut over your eyebrow, lips stinging from where the flesh split, with a collection of bruises turning different colors to represent various healing stages.

Today simply hadn't been your day.

After a week of constant alcohol-fueled battery, you felt your frustrations finally crescendo after being assigned 3 separate essays; doubling your stress, shortening your fuse, and creating heavy leaded dread as the minutes ticked by. Everyone else felt giddy for the spring-tastic weekend, wanting time to go faster so they could go home - but not you. You might've been the one teenager in the city - no, no, the county - no, wait! The state - WAIT, NO... The country, who didn't want to leave school. You didn't want the day to end and be forced out of your safety zone; anxiety twisting your stomach and prickling your skin at the thought of returning home.

Truthfully, you spent several nights a week at Billy's, being snuck in through his window; feeling unsafe in your own home and wanting to remain close without voicing your need for his proximity. You felt stronger with Billy, as if you could take on the world; as if your safety and wellbeing were (finally) a real priority. He took great pride in being that safe haven for you, thinking it a nice change of pace as he often never seized opportunities to prove himself compassionate and caring. Billy was known for being a brute, someone aggressive and commandeering; nobody associating "safety" with him - except you.

However, this wasn't one of those weekends you'd be able to sneak out, being forced into caring for your two wee brothers; them needing you, dependent on you, relying on the care and love you provide them.

As a result of your shitty week, you had been a right, foul bitch to those unfortunate enough to engage you. Being well aware of your attitude, you tried to avoid everyone, not wanting to lash out at innocent peers - labeling yourself a bitch because of your impeccable self-awareness. Though, no matter the labels you assigned, you simply couldn't rein your emotions into check given your anxiety over returning home overpowered your brain.

Knowing you'd be forced to defend yourself against your own mother set your teeth on edge, projecting your horrible mood onto anyone in your vicinity - making most keep their distance.

Keyword: most.

Much like her brother, captain of the basketball team, Jason Carver, Brittany Carver wasn't the brightest bulb of the bunch. She never picked up hints, she didn't bother reading the room or in-between any lines; she held little to no regard for those around her or their emotional state. Brittany just wanted to assert herself as Queen Bee and thought the best way to achieve that was by bullying those she deemed lesser then she. It gave her a power trip, made her feel swollen with importance, boosting her ego because in her mind, she'd rather be feared than loved.

Brittany was dressed in her pretty, pressed, and bright cheer uniform; her obnoxiously blonde hair tied in a high ponytail that swished dramatically with each step. She wore cherry flavored lip gloss, her make-up caked, skirt hiked higher than school regulation permitted because she suckled at the teat for attention - good or bad.

You heard the second bell ring and finished shoving books in your locker, trying to stuff notebooks in your bag when your locker was suddenly violently slammed shut. Flinching at the quick movement and aggressive bang, you glared at whoever dared interrupt you; a manicured hand flat on the metal to keep the locker closed.

"The fuck you want, Brittany?"

"Awh, someone's already got their panties in a twist," she mocked, two of her cronies giggling their support. "C'mon, babe, I was just stopping by to say hello - missed you this week!"

"Oh, for sure," you sneered in a sickly-sweet tone, "of course you missed me, your life is so much more boring without me in it, huh? Wow, seriously, Brittany, I'm flattered to be the main character in your life, too."

Her eyes rolled and one of the other cheerleaders at her flank, Jennifer, popped flavorless gum. "I'm surprised you still have this level of spunk and cheek to talk like that, would've thought Mommy Dearest beat it out of you by now - she hits you often enough, right? Doesn't she? Hmm, well, maybe she needs to hit you a little harder."

"Excuse me?" You snapped.

"You heard me!" She laughed. "Obviously your mom isn't teaching you any lessons since you still have this whole emo-attitude going on. But I can't say I blame her, you're such a bitch - I'd smack the shit outta you, too."

You nodded slowly, not realizing several students had paused themselves to watch the exchange; knowing this was a longtime coming and didn't want to miss the inevitable drama. Dropping your backpack, you asked, "You sure? You really wanna hit me?"

"Is it that hard to believe? I mean," she smirked, "your own mother does - of course, I do, too. Like, seriously, it's not a secret why she hits you - just look at you! No wonder she hates you, you're just a waste of space, resources, and money. Damn shame Billy doesn't see it yet, but don't worry, he will." She laughed again, "He'll get tired of reopening your lip every time you kiss. It's so pathetic and ugly, he'll start to crave what you can't offer. I mean, seriously, what guy with any self-respect wants to date a girl as broken as you?"

"Know what, Brittany?" You growled, balling your fists at your side. "I'll give you one free hit."

"Excuse me, what?"

"Yeah," your head nodded, "go ahead. One free, clean shot. Hit me if you want to so bad, but you'll only get just this one shot."

Her eyes rolled, "I don't need to, your mom's got that covered."

"Free hit, Brit," you taunted, gesturing, "c'mon, go 'head, lemme have it. Since I'm so insufferable, go right ahead - get your clean hit."

Jennifer and Jasmine shared strange looks, the latter nudging, "Just do it, Brittany, shut this stupid bitch the hell up."

"Yeah, Brittany, shut me the hell up."

She looked to her little goons with a smirk, shrugged and handing over her backpack. When Brittany turned again, she dramatically wound her arm back and used her full strength to swing her fist into your cheek; only making your head turn a fraction from impact. You hummed and nodded, the cheerleader laughing with her girls as if she had "shown you" - but her amusement died when she noticed you barely reacted.

You smirked, cracking your neck, "My turn!"

Your knuckle cracked the bridge of the cheerleader's nose - sick sound of a snap ringing in your ears and jolting the girl's head backwards; momentum forcing her to stumble. Brittany shrieked in pain, holding her nose, unable to defend herself as you launched your attack; first slamming her back into the lockers before jabbing your fist into any vulnerable spot you could.

Similar to the movies, you held Brittany by her hair to keep her in place; wailing your punches repeatedly, each hit making Britt bang into the lockers. Jennifer and Jasmine tried to pull you away but both earned their own punches or elbows to the face for the interference. You focused on Brittany, instantly curating a flock of students all eager to watch.

"FIIIIIIGHT!"

"GIRL FIGHT!"

"BEAT HER ASS, Y/N!"

Brittany sobbed as blood dribbled down her front, staining her pretty uniform, but you were just getting started. The hallway turned noisy, a circle forming around you four as all three cheerleaders were staved off; you running on pure anger, adrenaline, and overflowing frustration that encouraged your foot to kick Britt's gut. You'd never admit it, but Brittany's mocking had hurt you past words, made you feel vulnerable, disarmed, as if you were damaged, undeserving goods. With each punch or kick or stomp, you remembered a different instance of your mother's abuse, seeing her face instead of Brittany's; spurring you on with unrestrained force.

In the parking lot, Billy was leaning on his car with a few teammates from the basketball team and enjoying a hearty nicotine-filled break. Though they'd never label it as such, the boys exchanged idle gossip; listening to Conrad Jones detail his latest conquest, sneering about how "easy" Kennedy Stephens was. They were interrupted when Kyle Lambert sprinted up to them, sneakers skidding over asphalt, panting dramatically, "Billy! Billy! Y-You gotta come see this, man! You gotta help!"

"What?" He asked, taking a drag from his cigarette.

"I-It's your girl - it's Y/N!"

He pushed off his car that was supporting his weight, demanding, "What about her?"

"You gotta come quick, man, you gotta see this! It's fucking wild! Brittany, Jennifer, and Jasmine tried jumping her - "

Billy was surging across the carpark instantly, tossing his cigarette away before yanking the school doors open. He was instantly greeted by the chaotic sight and sounds of a fight, peers gathered in a large circle; screaming their support and hollering encouragement.

"Billy! Oh, thank God!!" Chrissy Cunningham cried, waving him closer. "You have to help! You have to do something, it's 3-on-1!"

He didn't acknowledge the strawberry blonde, just started instantly shoving through the crowd to reach the edge of the fight. It wasn't the sight he was anticipating - fearing the worst, now pleasantly surprised (and a little turned on).

Blood was splattered on the linoleum floors, a single streak smeared on the lockers. Jennifer was left on the ground with her back against the metal, sporting a busted lip as Jasmine was trying to coax her to her feet - sporting a ruddy face and disheveled look. Left in the center, to the entertainment of the crowd, was you on top of Brittany Carver, heaving your fist time and again into her face.

"Shit," he breathed, intending to step forward to stop the fight but needing to shove Tommy H. out of his way when he stepped forward.

"C'mon, man! It's a girl fight! Don't break it up!" Tommy begged, but Billy bullied through.

"All right, that's enough," he grunted, wrapping his arms around your middle and heaving you up and back a step - needing to engage his core and arms when you wriggled in an effort to free yourself. "Hey, hey, hey - "

"Lemme go! This bitch needs put in the ground!"

"Jesus Christ, when did you get this strong?" He grunted, your feet slipping on blood but still being restrained by your boyfriend's impressive strength.

"Talk your shit again, bitch!" You barked at Brittany, who was sobbing in pain and curling into herself. "Lemme hear you say another Goddamn word, you'll need more than another nose job! Fake ass, plastic bitch!"

Jason joined the center and knelt at his sister's side, helping her sit up, glaring at you and Billy. Your boyfriend grit his teeth when Jason snarled, "You need to muzzle your bitch, Billy!"

"I'll fuck you up for talkin' about her like that, Carver, don't provoke me. Watch yourself," Billy snapped in warning, successfully managing to get you behind him.

However, you dodged around him with only enough time to spit hatefully on Brittany, warning, "You wanna talk shit, you'll get hit! Don't let me hear you again - don't you ever dare say another word about my mama! I'll put you in the ground, bitch, fucking try me! I dare you! Try me again, say shit about my mama, and see what the fuck I do!"

"All right, all right, you made your point," Billy stiffly told you, pulling you away by force to avoid you actually killing Brittany. He got a look at her injuries, thinking there must've been more than a broken nose from the way her uniform was stained and her entire face bloodied. "C'mon, we gotta get outta here, come with me - c'mon, baby, you can't touch her anymore, you made your point, you'll end up killin' her or some shit," he panted, shoving through the crowd and effectively ending the fight.

Billy didn't let go of your form until finally outside - letting you rip yourself away as your blood boiled, adrenaline making you much stronger. He watched you pace; huffing, puffing, seething, all but gnashing your teeth hatefully. "That fucking bitch had it coming, Bee, it was self defense!" You finally explained.

"Oh, yeah, princess, totally looked like it," he scoffed, blocking the doors in case you tried to go back. He lit another cigarette.

"It was, you condescending asshole!" You snapped, eyes ablaze and anger tangible. "She approached me, she ran her mouth, and she hit me first!"

"Well," he sighed, "whatever the reason, it's not worth jail time for beating her to death."

"Might be."

"Ain't nothing worth throwing your life away," he offered you the cigarette, but you refused. "Why don't you just tell me what happened? What'd she say?"

"It doesn't matter, Billy."

"I think it matters when she looks like she's gonna need a blood transfusion to replenish what she's lost."

"Whatever - let it be a lesson that you shouldn't throw stones if you're scared of a boulder."

Billy sighed, smoke blown from his mouth, "C'mon, doll, tell me what happened?"

"Doesn't matter, it's done, it's over, it's in the past."

"Baby, I can't help you if you don't talk to me."

"You can't help, period, Billy! There's nothing you can do!"

"Well, you're not even letting me try!"

"'Cause it's redundant!"

"Obviously not when you look like a raging bull!"

Your eyes rolled, head shaking, "I handled it."

"I saw," he scoffed. "So, 3-on-1? How'd that happen?"

"I told you, they approached me."

"Well, I'm gonna need a little more to go on. C'mon, pretty girl, the fuck just happened? You know you can get suspended!" This made you freeze, muscles clamming up, looking purely petrified as if the thought hadn't occurred to you. "I know you don't want that, but if you talk to me, maybe I can help lessen whatever punishment."

"Oh, whatever, like I care about being punished," you snipped, hands twisting together - telling Billy you were beginning to get anxious.

"I think you do, it'd put you in the house with your mom alone," he trailed, pushing away from the doors to approach you like a baby deer. "C'mon, I know you don't wanna get suspended, so just tell me what happened."

"I'm sure you'll hear all about it from your little basketball buddies."

"I don't fucking care!" He snapped with the cigarette trapped and bobbing between his lips, making you look at him in mild shock. "There's gonna be a hundred different rumors, whole fuckin' school watched you beat the shit outta those girls - but I only care about what you have to say."

"There's no point - "

"Oh, Jesus Christ," he growled, snatching the cig between his knuckles, "I just saw three bitches on the ground, all injured, beaten up, bleeding - so stop being so Goddamn stubborn and just tell me! I'm tryna help you!"

"You pulled me off of her, you've helped plenty."

"I'd like to understand how this happened."

"It won't change anything."

"No, it won't, but you have a side to the story. Tell me what went wrong? What happened?"

You sighed, no longer pacing, planting both hands on your hips. Your head shook as Billy tossed the filtered cigarette butt aside, muttering when he exhaled the last of the smoke, "It seems so stupid now."

"Hey," he soothed, crowding into your space and taking one of your hands in his. "Whatever it is, I'm sure it wasn't stupid. You're forgetting, I know well enough to understand you wouldn't throw a punch unless absolutely necessary. Whatever got you riled up like that ain't stupid, sweetheart."

Like a glazed donut, your eyes turned glassy. Billy frowned and took your other hand off your hip, forcing your attention on him. "I swear, I didn't start it," you whispered.

"Only matters that you finished it," he smirked. "Tell me, what the fuck was all that?"

You sighed deeply, offering meekly, "Guess they had it comin'..."

"I know they did," Billy chuckled. "Nobody's that stupid to provoke you, except Brittany."

"I was at my locker... They approached and slammed it shut."

"Right, okay..."

"There were words exchanged, but Brittany, she - " You paused, swallowing thickly, "she started talkin' shit about my mom, about, you know, what she does..."

Billy understood instantly. "You fuckin' serious?" He growled, seeing you nod and fill him in on what was said - unable to look him in the eye as you relived your anger. By the end, you were trembling in emotion and adrenaline loss, Billy sighing deeply and yanking you into his chest for a tight embrace. "All right, yeah," he mumbled, "should've put them bitches in the ground."

"And now," you sniffled, "I'm gonna get suspended, forced to stay home with Ma all next week."

"We'll get you outta it."

"Can't, the school doesn't tolerate fighting on school grounds."

"You said she swung first?"

"Technically, yes. I might've - allegedly - prompted her into it."

"It's still selfdefense, toots, no matter what you or anyone said - if she swung first and hit you, you were only defending yourself."

You shrugged, resting on his chest, "You see the damage? Admin won't care who swung first - not when they're beat to shit."

"Yeah, there's my li'l hothead," he smirked, chuckling slightly before pecking the top of your head. "But you gotta admit, it's impressive how you took on all three."

"I guess, doesn't exactly feel like an accomplishment."

"Nah, princess, seriously," he pulled you back to look at him again, "that's fuckin' hot. I mean, they approached you and still got their asses handed to 'em. That's straight skill."

"Or just a lot of anger with nowhere to go," you frowned. "Think I should go find admin?"

"Nah, they'll probably find you - "

The doors opened and your name was called, the principal's secretary waving you to her. "Fuck," you whispered, releasing Billy.

"I'll come with you," he promised, lacing your fingers together when he took your hand. Billy had to admit, it was a little weird being in the principal's office but not being the one in trouble; waiting without patience in a fraying chair, picking at the exposed stuffing with his leg bouncing. He'd been there 45 minutes, skipping the last half of classes, just waiting as you were behind a closed door with the principal, vice principal, and the disciplinary officer.

He looked up when the school nurse lead Brittany, Jennifer, and Jasmine inside - glaring at them but admiring the scattering of cuts and bruises with dried blood on their precious uniforms. A few minutes later, you were exiting the office with a passive and neutral expression settled on your face. Your lip curled only slightly when you clocked the cheerleaders - hating how smug they all looked - approaching Billy instantly.

"You all right?" He checked, standing and adjusting his jeans.

"Mhm," you nodded, keeping your voice low as the principal called the three cheerleaders into his office. You waited until the door was closed, then informed with a smirk, "I'm not suspended."

"No?"

"Nope," you confirmed. "Apparently, they asked a couple other kids what happened and my story matches theirs. I was minding my business, they came up to me, they started mouthing off, and Brittany was the one who hit me first. So," you shrugged, "guess your idea of selfdefense held strong."

"See? That's good, huh?"

"Yeah," you sighed, nodding absently, "but he said the girls were gonna lose their spot on the cheer squad for this. Listen, I don't think I feel like goin' back to class - kinda just wanna take a nap."

Billy hiked up his jean jacket sleeve, consulting his watch for a moment. "Wanna head to mine? Neil's got the evening shift and Susan has bridge club for a few more hours - we'd be alone."

Your eyes rolled, "No offense, Bee, I don't feel like fucking right now."

"I'm not sayin' that, I'm sayin' let's go nap at mine," he chuckled, picking up your backpack that you forgot about. "We can come back to get your brothers but you know you're not gonna rest if you go home."

You gulped, sighing sadly, "Yeah, well, about that..."

"Something else happen?"

"Apparently... The school has an obligation to call the police if a student reports abuse."

"You reported your mom?"

"Not on purpose," you rushed in defense, "just that... I had to explain what Brittany said to me - so I had to admit what Ma did - or does."

Billy frowned, "Jesus."

"Yeah, so... Maybe going home isn't the smartest idea right now. I wouldn't wanna be there when they conduct their wellness check."

"You wanna stay at mine?" He offered.

"What about Neil?"

"He's a lot nicer with you around," he admitted. "Won't care too much if you stay the night. Plus Max has that club thing after school, then she's going to the arcade; so, she won't need a ride, we can just go."

"You know what? Sure, all right, I'll come to yours," you accepted, your lover boy whisking you away without a second thought. "Thank you, baby."

Your hands were stiff, and when you looked at them, noted split skin and stained blood as a reminder of your aggression... Wondering why the fuck people pushed you to these limits and acted surprised when you reacted? If they wanted a punching bag, they picked the wrong one - but you were willing to remind them.

When you got to the Hargrove residence, you were silent as the grave; stewing in your anger that rolled off you in projected waves. Billy was terribly disarmed, unsure how to properly comfort you - wondering how he would want to be comforted, realizing he'd want to be alone, not subject to anyone's bullshit advice. So, he did what he knew and after handing you a bag of frozen peas for your split knuckles, comfortably stripped and crashed in bed with the window cracked and a rolled joint between his fingers.

You rested on his bare chest, sighing deeply while watching the end of the spliff come to life in a smoldering ember. Billy took the first inhale to make sure it was lit and instantly handed it to you, his arm snug around you and the silence hanging in the air like the swirls of stale, exhaled smoke.

"I'm sorry it got to this point, pretty girl," He offered awkwardly, his other arm bending to prop under his head. Both of you stared off aimlessly, stereo filling the space dully in the background.

"Not your fault," You inhaled and held your breath, handing him the joint. He casually flicked the end in an ashtray resting on the window sill.

"No, but I could've done more."

You chuckled, smoke seeping through your lips and teeth, "Oh, yeah? How? You gonna beat up three girls?"

"Nah but I could beat the shit outta Jason."

"What good would that do?"

"If he didn't want a weekly black eye, Jason would control his sister."

"It's always about control with you, isn't it?"

"I'm just saying," he handed the joint back, lungs pinched to hold the smoke, "I could protect you."

"You already do, baby."

"Let me do more, princess."

"You can't fight every battle for me."

"You could let me try."

"You'd be fighting on two fronts," you frowned, exhaling slowly. "Can't fight for me when you're defending yourself against Neil."

"Might be easier to deal with your shit than my own," he chuckled without humor, accepting the spliff. "Look, I know you don't want me involved, but that's kinda what a boyfriend's supposed to do, right? Protect their woman?"

"I wouldn't know."

"Never had a boyfriend before?"

"Nobody was worth dating until you. Nobody could understand me the way you do so effortlessly."

"'Cause we're one and the same, baby girl. You don't have to do everything by yourself," he inhaled, handing the spliff over again, "don't always have t'be strong."

"Ain't no other choice."

"You could let me in more..."

"You're one to talk."

He sighed, smoke billowing. "You're right. Can't expect you to open up if I don't, so why don't we both try to let the other in more? Yeah, I get it, the shit we deal with ain't pretty but at least we understand each other, right? We're the best for each other to lean on."

"I don't wanna drag you into my bullshit, baby."

"I want you to drag me in, princess. I wanna help you."

You sighed, "Well, Brittany and her cronies are getting suspended and kicked off the cheer squad - they'll be looking for reason to take it out on me."

"Say the word, baby, and I'll beat Jason black-and-blue."

"You're so romantic."

"Only for you - so don't tell anyone. I got a reputation to protect."

You both snickered as the weed you indulged in took effect, lulling you two into a state of ease. Your knuckles had stopped burning, resting your injured hand under the frozen peas, reminding yourself to remain grateful in this turbulent period of life because now, you had someone on your team. Someone who wanted to help carry your baggage. Someone without alternate motives. Someone who was willing to withstand the storm in the hope of feeling the warmth of the sun again.

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Stranger Things masterlist

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Chapter 1- hello again

Link had made plenty of mistakes in his life. Some of them were small, futile, and had very little consequence. Others were big, dangerous, and almost unforgivable. He couldn’t count how many times he’d almost lost his life due to his own foolishness, how many times he’d upset someone he cared about due to his temper, or how many times he was met with scorn due to his own choices. His life was riddled with mistakes, all having consequences that affected him one way or another, with some being forgotten, never to be spoken of again.

That mistake he made… he thought it wouldn’t be serious, he thought it would be one of the few that were forgotten. Sure it was a serious mistake, but it was one time. Surely the goddesses would be merciful on him just this once, right? Surely they would forgive what he did. He understood it was wrong, he’ll never do it again.

He hoped that they would forget about when he made love at twilight.

It was a moment of weakness for him. The girl who he spent his entire adventure with, who stuck at his side, who saved him, who he loved, was dead. Or so he thought. He killed the demon king with righteous anger swelling within him, grief gripping his heart so tightly it physically hurt, wanting to kill the man who killed her.

It was only after the demon king was dead when he discovered that she was alright. When he saw a familiar silhouette among the light spirits, he couldn’t help himself sprinting towards her, pumping his exhausted legs to where she was sitting to just make sure that she was real. That she was alright.

And she was. She was alive and… well… different. The light spirits removed the curse upon her that turned her into an imp, changing her into a beautiful twilight princess. He remembered when he first saw her. She was tall, with such loving eyes that stared back at him, her hair tied in the front, and her face… His brain blanked when he first saw her, and he didn’t say anything. He just stared.

“What? Say something!” She finally broke the silence, with a familiar teasing grin forming on her lips. “Am I so beautiful you have no words left?”

It was her, she was real. This was the Midna he spent so much time with, the Midna he fell in love with, the Midna he wanted so desperately to protect because of all she did for him. He smiled a relieved smile, and hugged her tightly, crying into her shoulder. She wrapped her arms around him and cried as well. They were both alright.

Zelda arrived shortly after to be with her friend, talking about what happened and what should happen next. Due to Link’s injuries from Ganondorf, they decided to head to Kakariko where he could rest, and they spent a long time together.

When Midna and Link were alone, they would talk for hours, quietly so no one would know about her, and one night, they got a little carried away. They were sitting on Link’s bed at night, and they exchanged kisses, and they snuggled up next to each other, and kissed again. One thing led to another, and it turned into a huge mistake. After what had happened, Midna started avoiding him, whenever she saw him, there being a deep sorrow in her sunset eyes. Link didn’t know why she was suddenly acting like this, but he knew he was at fault. He should’ve stopped, he should’ve slowed down and got her off of him, he thought she wanted to do it, but clearly not. He was afraid he put too much pressure on her. He was just so happy that she was alive, that Ganondorf was dead, that finally he was able to have peace, and he wasn’t thinking. He tried to talk to her about it but she’d just brush it off, so he stopped bringing it up.

Finally, when Link was healed enough, Midna said that she needed to return to the Twilight Realm, so they traveled to the Gerudo desert, his heart hurting from having to say goodbye to Midna. She may not think of him that way anymore, but she was still a dear friend to him, and he still cared about her deeply. And though they could visit each other, it was always sad to see a friend go.

But sad did not describe the feeling he had when the mirror was shattered, with Midna gone forever. That feeling was sheer agony, the worst pain he’s ever had to endure in his life. It almost ended him, he almost changed into someone unrecognizable, and thoughts plagued his mind over it. Was it something he did? Was she that upset over that night? And what ate away at him the most: would she have a child because of that night? The thought of her giving birth without him being able to support her killed him on the inside. He felt like a complete failure, he hated himself, and he wished that none of it ever happened.

So he prayed to the goddesses to be merciful on him. Just this once. To not let Midna suffer because of his foolishness, to simply let that mistake be. He would never do it again. Just please… don’t let anything come of it… please…

Two years later had passed, and so did some of the pain. With help he was able to recover, his dear pa tried to reassure him that Midna didn’t leave because of him, that she still cared for him. It helped, even a little. And so he slowly began to move on from Midna, move on from that night. He never told it to anyone, hoping that it would be forgotten by him and the goddesses. No one else needed to know about the best and worst moment of his life. Though he did wonder, even though it hurt, if he had a child out there somewhere, a child that he could never give his love to.

But his question was answered one night.

It was pouring rain with distant thunder, and Link was tossing and turning for hours. He couldn’t do anything to get his mind to relax and finally sleep, so he let out a frustrated sigh and stared at the ceiling. Normally rainy nights helped him sleep, but for some reason that wasn’t the case tonight. He closed his eyes and let out another sigh. He knew it was better for him to stay laying down with his eyes closed, but being alone with his thoughts was almost maddening.

He listened to the pouring rain outside, the different sounds it made as it hit his tree house made him grateful that he had a roof over his head, and a roof over Epona’s head. Being wet was the worst feeling for him. He rolled over and tried to let the rain soothe him, and it almost worked until—

Thump thump thump.

He opened his eyes at the unnatural sound, sitting up and staring at his door, slowing his breathing so he could hear better. Did he imagine that? Who would be banging at his door in the middle of the night?

He flinched when there were three more loud thumps at his door, confirming that he did not imagine it in his half asleep state. He was wide awake now, and got up as his heart grew worried over who could be at his door. Was it Rusl? Was he alright? Was something wrong with his daughter? Or was it Illia? Was she alright? Though they rarely spoke anymore, she occasionally came by when she needed comfort. He reached for his door and let out a breath to calm himself, opening the door quickly.

But who he saw sent his heart into his throat.

It was Midna, she was standing there, a desperate look in her eyes. Her clothes were soaked as she stood in the rain, and the two were silent for a moment as they stared at each other.

Midna… after two years of accepting that he’d never see her again, here she was. She got much taller, almost double his height, her jewelry was more extravagant, but she herself, she still took his breath away.

Finally after a moment of silence, he finally found his words.

“Midna?”

Her breath hitched, and she shifted a bit, a bundle in her arms that he finally noticed. His heart stopped when he saw a child, no older than two, crying silently in her arms. He was clearly a twili, having bright red hair, dark blue skin, and black markings. He looked like Midna, but when he opened his eyes, it was without a doubt that they matched his own. Gray-blue eyes stared back at him in fear. For Din’s sake…

“Link,” Midna breathed out, “I… desperately need your help.”

Link stared at the boy in silence for a long moment, but he finally got ahold of himself. He took a deep breath and gave room for them to head inside.

“Y’all will get pneumonia if you stay out for any longer,” he said gently, gesturing to his home.

Midna smiled and a relieved tear rolled down her cheek as she slowly moved inside. Link got dry blankets, ignoring his thumping heart. The child was cautious around Link as he tried to dry him off. He stared at Link with confusion and awe, his mouth agape as the rag Link was using to wipe him down slid off his head. Link paused when he noticed his left arm covered in bandages, and he gave Midna a look, but she did not return his gaze, she just stared at a corner in the room.

“What’s your name, little one?” Link tried to ease the pressure, being as gentle as he could with the child.

The kid looked at Midna, then back at Link. He had fear in his eyes, Link could tell.

“You’re safe here, I promise… What is your name?”

The child looked down, and it took a moment for his sweet little voice to speak up.

“Um… Kowi,” he mumbled.

“Kori?” Link repeated, just to make sure he heard him right. Kori nodded and Link smiled. “That’s a lovely name.”

Kori smiled, dimples that matched Link’s appearing on his cheeks, only making it more obvious that he was his own. “Tank you, uh,” he looked up at Midna and she gave him a reassuring look. “Whasis… youw name?”

“I’m Link.”

“Nink? Um… tat’s a— um— nowvwy name.”

Link chuckled at the little boy trying to speak. He barely understood him, but it was the cutest thing in the world. “Thank you.”

Kori nodded and rubbed his eyes. “Mommy towd me stowies ‘bout Nink.”

“Really?” Link looked over at Midna, who continued to avoid his gaze. He sighed and returned his attention to his arm. He reached for the bandage but Kori froze and pulled back. His eyes were full of fear again. “What happened there?”

No one said anything this time. He looked at Midna and stood up.

“Midna… What’s going on?”

Midna closed her eyes and finally looked at him.

“It’s… He’s…”

“My son?”

Midna looked up with shame written on her face, and Link’s anger quickly went away. She shouldn’t be ashamed…

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, returning to Kori’s injured arm, “let me clean this, ok?”

He finished drying off Kori and changed his bandages as gently as possible. Kori stopped talking, only his soft cries and the sound of the rain against the roof was heard. As Link cleaned and redressed Kori’s arm, he noticed that it was a nasty wound, a slash mark trailing up his arm, and from the looks of it, it was fairly new. Who could’ve done this to a child? Kori whimpered and pulled back as Link tried to clean it.

“Sh, it’s alright Kori. The pain is only temporary,” he said gently. He wrapped up the arm and gave it a slight pat. “See? All done! You were brave, little one, good job.”

Kori sniffed and rubbed his eyes again, and Link frowned as his tired little eyes looked back at him. He didn’t know if Twili ever slept, so it must’ve been a Hylian thing for him.

“Here, let’s get you a nice place to sleep, ok?”

Kori watched Link as he set up a comfy bed made of blankets, gesturing for Kori to sleep in it. The boy stared for a long moment until Midna got up and nudged him towards the bed. With his mother’s reassurance, Kori wobbled over to the bed and laid down. Link grabbed his goat plushie Billy and stared at it for a moment. He knelt down next to the bundled up boy and handed the plushie to him.

“This is my friend Billy,” Link bounced the plushie around with Kori watching, amused. “He always gives me comfort when I need it.”

Kori shyly grabbed Billy and snuggled up against him. He closed his eyes and smiled.

“Tank you,” was all he said before he fell asleep.

Link smiled at him, he was a sweet little boy. He stood up, and the heavy situation returned to him. He walked to where Midna sat, still and unmoving and took a deep breath

“Midna… I,” he started, trying to think of what to say to her, trying to think of something to keep the conversation going, just trying to talk to her again, but all he could muster up was, “Hello again.”

Midna stared at him for a moment before smiling.

“Hi,” she said quietly.

Link pursed his lips and decided to get everything off his chest.

“Clearly my actions have hurt you Midna, and I’m so sorry…. I’m so sorry about that night. If I could take it back I would!”

Midna’s expressionless face changed to confusion.

“What?”

“That boy… he’s ours… because of what we did…. And I’m so sorry… I know I hurt you and I wasn't there for you when you had him and I’m really sorry and I should’ve stopped and–”

Midna raised a hand to stop him, standing up and stepping closer to him.

“Link, do not blame yourself for what happened that night. It… wasn’t your fault alone…”

“Alone?”

Midna sat down, her head hung. “I didn’t do anything to stop it either… I knew that I needed to break the mirror, and I tried to keep my distance from you but… I didn’t. You didn’t know what I was going to do.”

Link stared ahead, not feeling any form of relief from that. He still felt confused, guilty, and almost sick to his stomach.

“Did that night mean anything to you?” He asked quietly.

Midna stared at him, her mouth slightly open.

“It meant everything to me.”

“Then why did you break the mirror?”

Midna looked down. “You know why. Deep down you know why. You saw what happened when Ganondorf went through the mirror, you saw what happened when Zant found him,” she sighed and sat back down. “Shadow and light cannot mix.”

Link looked over to where Kori, his son, laid asleep.

“Clearly shadow and light can mix,” he said quietly. Midna said nothing and rested her head against her hand. She looked exhausted, both physically and mentally. Link wanted to help her, but a few more things bothered him.

“How did you get here Midna?”

“I can't say. It must stay a secret.”

Link nodded, he figured that was the answer. Now for a more important question.

“What happened to his arm?”

Midna buried her face in her hands, her exhaustion more apparent. Link walked close to her and rested a hand on her shoulder.

“Hey, hey, It’s ok, he’s safe now. I’m sorry for upsetting you.”

Link stayed by Midna for a while, rubbing circles on her back. After a moment, she sniffed and opened her mouth as if to say something, but she was interrupted by a sudden shiver.

“Here let’s get you into some dry clothes…” Link said, noticing how she was still sopping wet.

Link quickly dried her off and offered some of his clothes, even though most of them wouldn’t have fit. He was somehow able to find something for her to wear that would fit her large frame, and when she was dressed he sat down, waiting for her to explain herself.

“I…. I hoped that nothing would come of that night,” she finally said after some silence, “because if something happened, then leaving this world behind would’ve been nearly impossible for me to do.”

“But something did happen.”

Midna nodded, not looking at him. Link sighed, the goddesses weren’t merciful to him. His prayers were not answered. He wasn’t there for Midna, he didn’t watch his son grow up, he wasn’t there when he said his first word, when he took his first step, when his true personality began to shine through. To Kori, Link was a stranger, not a father. And Midna had to raise him all by herself. A lump in his throat formed and his stomach felt hollow.

He should’ve stopped that night.

“As princess of the twilight realm, when I’m supposed to have a child, she should be a female, so that the monarchy can continue. I’m the only woman in the Twilight Realm, I’m not sure if you knew that.”

Link tilted his head. He did not know that. It would explain why he’d only ever met male twili besides Midna, and why the only female was the ruler. It almost reminded him of the Gerudo, which was rumored to be a tribe of women except for the one male born every one-hundred years.

“When I gave birth to Kori,” Midna continued, “he was a boy, and he wasn’t fully Twili… that ended up scaring some people. They thought that he was going to bring destruction to us.”

Link’s heart sank. She didn’t have to say, he knew.

“They hurt him.”

“I’ve been trying to find a way back here so he could be safe… but as soon as I found a way… he… got hurt badly by my advisor.”

Her breath hitched at the memory, and Link grabbed her hand. She smiled at him, a small but genuine smile.

“He’s safe now. You both are,” he reassured.

Midna stared into his eyes for a long moment.

“I missed you Link.”

He sucked in a breath. He’s missed Midna more than anything. He wanted nothing more than to see her again, to talk to her again, to tell her about all of the things he’s experienced. But now that she was here, he didn’t find anything to say. He didn’t make a move to hug her, to cry, he just felt… awkward. Midna’s smile went down when he said nothing, and she gently rubbed his hand.

“I know I hurt you, and it’s not right of me to ask this of you but… I was hoping that Kori could stay here… he’ll be safer here, with you.”

“Safer here? Yeah I would never hurt him, but I can’t say the same for the rest of Ordon. How do you know that everyone here will accept him? How do you know that they won’t be scared of him too?”

Midna leaned in closer. “Because they’re your family Link, you have a better influence over them than I over my people.”

“That doesn’t make sense.”

“Just because I’m the princess doesn’t mean they listen to me all the time. It’s complicated but clearly I couldn’t do anything to protect him from my advisors. Your family loves you, they trust you, they’ll try to understand you.”

Link listened for a moment, but pulled his hand away when a heavy realization plagued his mind.

“Midna… we’re not married.”

Midna raised an eyebrow. “So?”

“I don’t know how it is in the twilight realm but having a child before marriage is a sin here. I know my pa wouldn’t hurt Kori, but…” fear gripped Link’s heart at the thought of Rusl’s reaction towards Kori. He swallowed hard and shook his head. “There’s a lot of problems here, Midna.”

Midna looked down and chewed on her lip, thinking.

“I… I know… I know there are a lot of problems but… I can’t let him stay in the twilight realm.”

Though he felt like Ordon wasn’t safe, Link understood why the twilight realm was more dangerous. As a half Hylian and half Twili, Kori really wouldn’t be safe anywhere. He’d probably be labeled as a monster all his life because of who he was, especially after the twilight invasion. Link let out a breath and stared at his sleeping son.

“I understand…”

Midna stared at him for a moment while Link stared ahead, avoiding her gaze. She scooted a bit closer to him and tapped his shoulder lightly.

“Hey, I’m not going to let you deal with this alone.”

Link looked up at Midna, a sliver of hope forming within him.

“We both made the choice that night, Link, neither one of us should deal with it alone,” she got closer and stared into his eyes while Link’s heart thumped against his chest. “We’ll raise him together.”

They stared at each other for a long moment, and the past two years separated withered away for them. When they were together now, it was almost as if they were never apart.

“I can't abandon the twilight realm, but I’ll try to visit whenever I can. I just need Kori to be safe.”

Link looked down and their clasped hands, then at the sleeping child. An overwhelming feeling of protectiveness came over him, and he nodded. “I understand Midna… I promise I’ll keep him safe.”

Midna smiled. “I knew you would. Trust me, I wouldn’t ask this of you if nothing bad happened but—“

“Don’t worry about it. I’m his father, he’s my responsibility now.”

Midna stared at him for a long moment, then she leaned in, Link’s heart nearly jumping out of his chest. He wanted so badly to show how much he missed her, he wanted to scream to the heavens on how happy he was to see her again, but… he felt too much pain for it to be perfectly fine, and he turned his head away.

“I’m sorry Midna… there’s a lot more we need to talk about.”

Midna let out a sigh and smiled.

“That’s fine, I’m staying for a while anyways. Let’s talk.”

Leave me, break me, make me c☆m TW: afab! reader/female anatomy, Foul language, cursing, oral fem! receiving, crying, smuttt, toxic relationship-ish???? ♡☆Synopsis: You and Dabi had a big fight, bigger than the ones in the past, convincing Dabi that you two were over, especially when you said some more hurtful stuff on your end. But what happens when you send him a crappy apology text, and Dabi gets one last fuck before you slip from his arms once again.

♡☆ Dabi running right to your door the moment you text him a semi-thoughtful apology, knocking on the door as opposed to his past window entrances.

♡☆ Dabi kissing you the second you open the door and kissing all up your neck and jaw, not caring he’s barely said hello, or acknowledged your fight, and every time you try to tell him to slow down, that you still need to talk about what happened, he can’t

“Can’t, princess. Need to fuck this pretty pussy first.”

♡☆You can tell him whatever you want, but he can’t pull away till he fuck you out of your sense, because deep down, he feels like you won’t take him back unless he does

♡☆ Dabi giving you the best head, no matter how much you try to talk him out of it, how you wanna be the one to give him something because of how bad you lost your temper at him, he can’t let you. He won’t let you.

♡☆ Dabi who makes you cum again and again all on his tongue, his erection evident in his boxers, but he couldn’t have cared less, just as long as he gets to taste your pretty little pussy, as long as he can enjoy you one more time before you decide he isn’t good enough and leave him.

♡☆ Dabi who fucks you with such fervor, but this time, it’s a bit different, it’s a bit more vulnerable than all the other times you two had makeup sex

♡☆ Dabi who cums inside you, the biggest load you had ever felt, you’re sure of it. But this time, he isn’t stopping. No matter how much you try to stop him he just keeps going, not that you could say much anyway, anytime you tried to open your mouth, a wave of moans leaves your mouth instead.

♡☆ Dabi who fucks his cum deep in you, making sure some part of you doesn’t forget him when you leave, even if it is your pussy.

♡☆ Dabi who whines so loud in your neck, your ears and head growing fuzzy and hot hearing his little whimpers and moans as he lets out all his pent-up anxiety in fucking you. 

♡☆ Dabi who babbles about how much he loves you, how much he needs you more than air itself while his pierced dick hits your cervix, making your brain and thoughts all foggy, only being able to mewl out responses as he thrusts with such vigor

“F-fuc-kkk Doll, this pussy’s got such a good grip on me, love you s’much baby fuck! I missed you s’much, missed this pussy s’much you have no idea princess-”

♡☆ Dabi who fucks you even harder now that he knows the both of you are close, trying to make this the best sex you two have ever had, all while trying to keep his emotions locked in, because damn everything if he didn’t make this about you, your pleasure, your well-being. 

♡☆Dabi who releases an even bigger load when you finish all around him, your heat closing all around him and making him light-headed and hot all over, moaning and whining so loud into your shoulder, babbling about how good your pussy treats him, how much he needs this pussy.

♡☆ You laying there in absolute bliss, head over heels for the man right next to you, until you finally notice your shoulder was a bit wet, feeling Dabi’s breathing blow against it, and as you try and pull his head up, you see the pretty, rosey pink painting his cheeks along with his tears, mixing with the little drops of blood from his skin-patches and piercings. And before you could ask what happened, what you did wrong, he uttered the most heartbreaking words you had ever heard

“ Ppl-please, please don’t leave me doll… Y-you can’t break me like that”

♡☆ Dabi who holds your pinky and looks down bashfully at your fingers intertwined, finally shooting the final blow to your heart.

“Please don’t break me like that.”

Look at me, posting 2 fics in a day, this is a first lol

also pls ignore the SHIT quality this was, it was not my best work, just word vomit, might get rid of it later idk....

A/N: It's finally here, and it's only part one! I'm so sorry everyone but I've been fucking miserable for the last few months. But I'm here, I promise!

Requests are also open for BoB and MotA!

The Heart of the Ocean (Part One)

Gale "Buck" Cleven x Reader

The stateroom is much smaller than you anticipated, though perhaps your expectations were too high. After all, this is just a boat with a lot of people on it.

It feels suffocating, though perhaps that’s a consequence of your circumstances more than your room. 

You stare at yourself in the vanity’s mirror. You look tired, but maybe you should cut yourself some slack. You’re getting married in a few weeks. Every bride looks this sallow before their wedding day.

There’s a knock on the door, gentle and polite. You haven’t even responded when it opens. Caledon Hockley, your fiance, walks in. If you had never spoken to the man, you’d say that smile on his face is genuine.

He brandishes a velvet jewellery box and presents it to you with all the showmanship of a salesman. You’re not sure why. You’re marrying the bastard, not buying a house from him.

Cal crowds up behind you, opening the box, expecting you to ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ over it. He gives you some long speech about how the diamond used to belong to some long dead king. All you can do is stare. It’s so… big. It’s gaudy and awful. At least it matches your engagement ring.

He clasps the necklace, the chain feeling rather literal. He kisses your temple and grins at his most prized possession. You paste on a smile and thank him for his kindness. As he leaves, reminding you of the lunch you were already supposed to be at, you wrap a hand around the massive blue diamond. It’ll at least weigh me down, you joke.

Despite your mother’s hatred of her, Mrs Margaret “my-friends-call-me-Molly” Brown is the only person you can talk to that actually listens. You walk into the dining room for lunch, hands gently wrapped around one of Cal’s arms and the first thing you hear is, “that necklace is gorgeous darling!”

Your mother fawns over it and you almost tell her to just take it if she wants it so bad. 

Molly says, “Not as beautiful as the woman wearing it.”

Her beaming smile is not enough to distract you from your mother’s eye roll, but it is enough for you to respond with a genuine thanks. You can’t remember the last time you got a compliment.

Stuck at a table between a rock (Cal) and a hard place (your mother), you wait anxiously to eat. You would listen to the conversations around you, but it’s mostly your mother bragging about the family you’re marrying into, and the men discussing which type of cigar they’ll smoke next or other trivial nonsense.

When the waiter approaches, you perk up. but Cal takes over. “We'll both have the lamb, medium-rare with very little mint sauce.” He turns to you and pats your hand, “You like lamb, don't you sweet-pea?”

You stare at him silently, god his face was just so punchable. A pinch on your thigh reminds you that there’s an audience. “Of course, darling.”

Molly jumps in, noticing the distinct pinch of your mouth. “You gonna cut her meat for her, too, Cal?” The table bursts into laughter and even your fiance forces a tight smile.

The food is not quite to your taste, the bitterness of Cal’s mistreatment tainting your meal. But the conversation takes a turn for the better.

Molly posits, “So, how do ya reckon they got to the name Titanic?”

An older fellow married to a woman 3 years your junior speaks up, “Well the name obviously conveys size, thus it also conveys strength.”

You jump in, “Perhaps Dr Freud’s ideas about the male preoccupation with size will interest you, Mr Higginbotham.”

Your mother pinches your thigh again and you jolt. The conversation changes once more and even Molly’s boisterous laughter can’t calm your temper. You excuse yourself and race outside for some fresh air.

The ocean breeze cools you down somewhat. You bask in the sun’s rays, gripping the rail in front of you and leaning back just a little.

Your reverie is interrupted by a loud shout of “Miss!”

You look down to see two brunets wrestling playfully. Their blonde friend shakes his head before looking up at you. Your knees turn to butter. He’s quite possibly the most handsome man you’ve ever seen in your life. 

The two of you stare at each other for so long, his friends have stopped wrestling, instead looking between you two like a tennis match. The Greek statue below only stops the staring contest when a frown takes over.

Your own face falls when you realise why: Cal. Your fiance grips your arm and begins to berate you quietly while dragging you back inside.

But the beautiful blonde man is all you see. His smile as his friends begin to tease is enough to feed you for a lifetime.

Dinner is much the same, only your noose feels tighter than before. Your newfound wealth is still the only topic of conversation your mother cares about and your fiance is content to make every little decision for you.

Of all your companions, at least Molly Brown tries to reach out with some gentle questions about the wedding. Cal fields all of them, he and your mother having planned everything to the very flowers of your bouquet.

Your ears begin to ring. Your mother over one shoulder, your fiance over the other. A hand touches yours lightly. It’s gloved but still warm. Molly’s Southern accent cuts through the rest of the conversation.

“You okay darling?”

You nod and beam brightly. “Of course, just excited for the wedding.”

It’s clearly not enough for her. Then an icy glare from the people either side of you reminds her of your precarious position.

“Well who wouldn’t be? It all sounds so beautiful!”

You power through dinner, Cal ordered the beef for you both, though you would rather have eaten dirt.

He kisses your gloved hand as the men retire to the smoking room. Molly rubs your shoulder gently as she bids you goodbye. 

Your mother hisses at you for acting up. You simply smile apologetically and ask to get some fresh air. She waves you off with an angry “I’ll see you later.”

Thankfully, no one else is on deck as you sprint across the wood. Your chest is heaving with panicked breaths and barely concealed sobs. The theatrics catch the attention of a man laying on a bench staring up at the stars.

You crash into the rail at the stern of the ship and hastily climb over. Your breath gets stuck in your throat as the wind brushes past your face, cooling the tears on your cheeks.

The skin over your knuckles stretches as you cling to the only tether you have left. The water looks cold but so inviting.

Then a voice. It’s quiet and gentle, but it nearly startles you into letting go. 

“Easy, easy, didn’t mean to scare you.” He approaches, palms up in surrender.

“Go away.” You’re beyond embarrassed to have someone witness your breakdown. Your consideration of the unthinkable.

“Well that I’m not gonna do.” He creeps closer like you’re a wounded animal. It’s perhaps a cliche, but you imagine that’s what you are. Hunted for your beauty and trapped in the snare of a loveless marriage.

“You should leave. If you know what’s good for you.” You wish your voice sounds stronger. The creaking of your throat doesn’t make you sound very intimidating.

He just sighs and sits down on the deck. He begins to… remove his shoes? You frown and look over your shoulder as much as you can.

“What are you doing?”

“If you’re going down there,” he nods to the water below you, “I’m coming after you. And these are a new pair. Can’t get ‘em all soggy.”

You begin to laugh, a little hysterically. “That water’s freezing. There’s no way you’ll jump after me.”

“That’s not the part I’m worried about.” He stands up and begins to remove his jacket. Your face grows serious once more. His shoulders are broad, he must be a steel worker or something. But his face is too pretty for that kind of work. “You know a fall from this height into water, it’s like hitting pavement. Then you add the freezing water and-“ he hissed through his teeth.

You take another look, it is a very long way down. How did you not notice that before? A few moments of contemplative silence pass and the broad shouldered man moves closer.

You look over your shoulder at him. “You ever feel alone? Like truly alone in the world.”

He frowns sympathetically, “Can’t say I have, ma’am.”

You smile sadly. “That’s good.” Your hands begin to loosen their grip. 

His voice now sounds like it’s right next to you, but you can’t bring yourself to look. “Maybe you should come back over this rail and tell me all about it. Maybe I can help you.”

A sad little smile appears on your face. “I wish you could.” 

Then warmth wraps around your wrist. The man’s hands are calloused but much softer than you expected. 

“You never know if you don’t try.” He’s practically begging, anxiously waiting for your response.

You turn your head to look at him, tears threatening to choke you. You realise just who this man is. “Okay.”

He wraps a gentle but firm arm around your waist and helps you pull yourself back over the rail. When you finally set your heeled feet on the deck, your body feels like it’s going to collapse. The man leads you to a bench and wraps his jacket tight around you.

“I’m Gale by the way, Gale Cleven.”

You introduce yourself, still feeling rather defeated.

“Now tell me about what happened just now.” The words imply an interrogation, but looking into those baby blues you see… concern. What is with the people on this boat?

You’ll know them for only about a week and yet they’re the only ones in your life who seem to actually care for you.

“I know what you must be thinking.” You sigh, “Poor little rich girl. What does she know about misery?”

Gale leans his head forward to make eye contact, “Not at all. What I’m thinking is what could have happened to this girl to make her think she has no way out?”

You flash the giant ring on your finger, “I’m getting married next month.”

He jokes, “Wow! You would have gone straight to the bottom.” 

But you can’t laugh, you just stare at it. “All of Boston society will be there. 500 invitations.”

You finally look at his face, counting his freckles subconsciously, “Sometimes I feel like I'm standing in the middle of a crowded room, screaming at the top of my lungs and no one even looks up.”

He frowns and you’re hit with a sudden wave of shame. “Thank you for your help, Gale.” You take his jacket off hastily and drop it in his lap.

“Wait-” He tries to process the abrupt end to your conversation but you’re already halfway down the deck, surreptitiously wiping away tears.

The next morning, you beg your mother to let you have some space and fresh air. Really, you want to find the handsome blond from the night before. To apologise and to assure him that you will be just fine.

It’s not difficult to spot his incredibly handsome profile. He’s hunched over a sketchbook, head bobbing as he looks to his reference then back down. Trying to follow his eyeline, you see a sweet looking older man dancing with his little daughter. She stands on his feet as they sway to nothing in particular.

You approach carefully, worried you’d break the warm quiet, or disturb the family’s moment. You decide to just sit next to Gale. He tilts his head in acknowledgment but continues his work.

“I wanted to apologise for my behaviour last night,” you begin, “it was inappropriate for a woman of my station.”

He gives a little half-smile and looks up at you. His stare is like looking into the sun. “You’re allowed to feel how you feel. And I felt honoured you trusted me enough to share your pain.”

Your face warms, you’re not sure if it’s shame or those baby blues trained on yours. The girl and her dad are still dancing, but he’s picked her up. Her curls swish around as he twirls them and her giggles almost bring a tear to your eye. You can’t remember the last time your parents showed you any affection, let alone danced with you just to make you laugh. 

Gale clears his throat and holds his sketchbook out. His work is incredible. Not only is his technical work beautiful but he’s captured the loving glint in the father’s eyes and the little girl’s missing tooth. You can’t help your beaming smile.

“This is incredible work! You should be proud. Is this what you plan to do back in the States?” You brush a gentle finger over the drawing’s finer details.

He blushes and shakes his head, “I’m going back to my tiny hometown to see my family. Where I go from there, I don’t know.”

“You have a real talent here, Gale! You should explore this.” You hand the drawing back to him.

His plush lips part like he wants to respond, but you’re interrupted. The sweet little girl taps your shoulder, her tiny hand covered in freckles. She introduces herself as Niamh, and asks if you’re some kind of fairy. You frown, confused, but hear Gale chuckle behind you.

“She absolutely is, Miss Niamh.” When you turn your head to look at him, he winks. You look back at Niamh and smile.

“He’s right, I am a fairy! And I have a gift for you, little one.” You pull out one of the many pins in your hair, a bejewelled butterfly on the end. You hold it out to her; she seems hesitant to take it.

Niamh looks back at her dad who nods in her direction. She takes the pin and gives it a little kiss, “I promise, I’ll take care of it.” She runs back to her dad, giggling.

“I gotta go soon,” Gale’s voice draws you back to your previous conversation. “It’s almost lunchtime, but I wanted to ask.” He closes his sketchbook and faces you head on. “You ever been to a party?”

You had assumed when Gale asked you about a party there would be drinking and music, but nothing to this level.

The small parlour is packed to the brim with warm bodies and free-flowing drinks. Gale is up on a makeshift stage dancing with a cat in one arm and Niamh on the other. You remember his two brunet friends from yesterday and search for their faces, hopefully one of them will remember you.

One is preparing to arm wrestle a big bald man while the other claps him on the shoulder for support. A pregnant woman stands behind them, arms folded and a big grin on her face. You make your way through everyone, feeling very overdressed. By the time you reach them, the arm wrestling match is done and everyone cheers for “Curt”. By the big smile on his face, you assume Curt is one of Gale’s friends.

You can’t quite find a way to interject yourself into the celebrations so you find yourself leaning against the wall awkwardly. Gale finally notices you and tries to wave, only he has no hands free. So he quickly gestures to his friends.

“Hey!” The taller brunet shouts, holding his arms out for a hug. You shake your head, not quite there in your acquaintanceship with him. Instead the pregnant woman wraps her arms around him instead. “You’re the dame who Buck can’t stop talking about.”

“Buck?” You look over his shoulder at Gale whose attention is divided between you and Niamh. “Oh Gale!” Your face heats up, “I hope he’s been kind.”

Curt butts in, “Darling you’ve got nothing to worry about, the man is already picking out a ring for ya.”

The tall brunet holds his hand out to shake yours, introducing himself as John, “But my friends call me Bucky.” He also introduces the woman under his arm as Angel. She gives you her real name but says she prefers the nickname.

Curt gives you an official introduction, and Gale peels himself away from Niamh and the cat long enough to come join you all.

“I’m glad to see you here, sweetheart.” Gale smiles and wraps an arm around your shoulder. You lose yourself in his eyes again.

“Glad to be here.” Your voice is breathy, but for once you’re saying what you truly mean.

The night is long and restless, you drink and you dance and you laugh and you dream. This is the life you’d sorely missed, friends, fun, and blossoming love.

The night winds down, Curt has passed out on a bench near the makeshift stage. There’s only one fiddle player left, the rest of his musician family gone to bed. Niamh is asleep in her dad’s arms while her mother dances around them.

Bucky and Angel dance together, looking more in love than anyone you’ve ever seen. He whispers sweet nothings in a low tone just to see her blush. Gale clears his throat next to you and you snap your eyes towards him. He holds his large hand out, inviting you to dance. As you join him, slow dancing next to your new friends, you wonder. Maybe you can learn to love Gale like Angel loves her Bucky.

It’s late when you return to your room. A familiar face greets you. Cal sits on his reading chair with a whiskey in one hand and your massive blue diamond necklace in the other.

“Where were you?” He doesn’t look at you, only the necklace.

“Out.”

“And what, precisely, does that mean?”

“I… was with friends.” 

“Is that why you smell like a brewery?”

You roll your eyes, but choose just the wrong time to do as his eyes shift to you.

His voice is dark and angry, and your palms begin to sweat. “You are my fiance, and you are to be my wife. You will wear this gift at all times and you will not leave my side without my express permission. In fact, I’ve come to an agreement with your mother.” He stands, looming over you. “You will stay in this room and share this bed with me.”

Your eyes widen, “That would be inappropriate, we’re unmarried.”

“You are still mine.” He clasps the necklace around your throat once more.

I was wondering, what do u think Taigen reaction to finding out about Mizu being a woman will be? Although I don’t think he will have a bad reaction I wanted to know what u thought about it?

OOH I like this question because the thoughts on this have been swirling around in my brain for a while and I don't think I ever properly talked about this, outside of maybe this post (which is barely coherent imo). There, I compared Mizu/Taigen to Mizu/Mikio, as well as to the main romantic couple in the movie Yentl. Then from both those comparisons, I tried to speculate on Taigen's reaction to Mizu's gender reveal, based on what would make the most narrative sense.

However, I didn't really analyse Taigen himself in that post, and neither did I ever come up with a concrete conclusion to what his reaction may be. So this ask gives me a good chance to speculate even further and hopefully come up with a proper and more in-depth answer.

Similar to you, anon, I don't think Taigen will have a bad reaction per se, though I guess it depends on what you'd define by bad.

Because this is Taigen we're talking about, I don't think he'd exactly be chill about it. He's very much a drama queen, especially around Mizu, as he's never afraid of stepping on her toes, and thus will vocalise his feelings to her whenever he's feeling them. That, combined with his short temper and his brashness, means that there's almost certainly going to be conflict when he finds out the truth. He will be shocked, and because he's immature, he'll be angry and upset because of this shock. Simply because he doesn't know, and hasn't yet learned, how to deal with his emotions in any other way besides getting angry.

So I think that will definitely be his first instinct. To get upset.

I don't think he'd immediately know why he's upset. Maybe only after a few minutes of angry questioning (think something along the lines of "Why are you telling me this now?!" and "You've been hiding this all this time?!"), he'd finally come up with some tangible cause for his anger.

What would the cause for his anger be then? Well, it could be several things.

Possible Reason #1

He feels "betrayed" because Mizu didn't trust him enough with the truth even after the two have grown close, and after Taigen has put his life on the line for her numerous times.

Possible Reason #2

He feels "cheated" because Mizu is not the man he'd believed she was, thus making it feel like their entire friendship was a sham. This is because the basis for their relationship, in the way he'd related to her, bullied her, envied her, admired her, allied himself with her, and eventually grown attracted to her, had been entirely based off the premise and belief that Mizu is his fellow man, his peer, comrade, and fellow samurai. Thus, discovering that Mizu is not a man would, initially, feel like all of that has been ripped away from him. And this is actually related to the third possible reason.

Possible Reason #3

This is a big one, and the reason everyone, including myself, is putting their bets on: misogyny.

Essentially, Taigen would find out that this whole time, the person he'd been envious of and struggling to beat in every single fight, is not a man, but a woman. And as far as he knows, even if women in feudal Japan could once be warriors (see: the Onna-musha), perceptions have since changed by the time of the Edo period. Furthermore, even if women could fight, men were still expected to be stronger, because men are supposed to protect women.

However, I believe that Taigen's particular flavour of misogyny is a little different, in that he does not view women as "inferior." Because remember, his fiancee was Akemi. This was a woman who took no shits! She was snarky and playful and intelligent, and moreover she was a princess, superior to him in every way, and he knew and respected all of that, and respected her as an individual who could make her own choices. When she'd told him the news of their engagement, Taigen asked her, "He's [your father] sure? You're sure?" And then, when she tried to seduce him in Ep 2, he asked her, "Akemi, are you sure?"

His respect for her is the only reason why Akemi had been so desperate to marry him in the first place. She did not love him, but knew he would be good to her. Because she could not guarantee that any other man would treat her nicely as he would.

Thus, with that being said, I don't think Taigen is some "alpha male dudebro" who thinks women belong in the kitchen etc. Instead, I think Taigen simply believes women are just... different from men. So it's not that women can't or shouldn't fight, it's that they just don't. It's not that women can't or shouldn't be friends with men on equal footing, it's just that they aren't. You get what I'm saying?

It's like, imagine your whole life, you're told, and fully led to believe, that a lamp can't light up. They're just meant to be in your house as decoration. And then suddenly, you find out that your lamp lights up! And you're like, "OMG a lamp is lighting up! How is it doing that?! I thought light only comes from candles and the sun! This can't be right, I thought lamps never light up! Isn't that a fundamental part of their design?"

Now, put aside that this is a pretty bad analogy because it's 1am as I'm writing this and I can't think of a better one atm, but I hope the point comes across, in that this is clear-cut misogyny (I'm comparing women to a piece of furniture here on purpose), but the lucky thing about this particular flavour of misogyny is that it's rooted in ignorance, and is not inherently malicious. It can be, but it isn't necessarily.

Ignorance can be undone through learning and educating oneself. And luckily for us, my friends, educating oneself out of ignorance is the entire point of Taigen's character! He represents the uneducated masses who blindly follow the flow of the fucked up system. This is in contrast to Mizu who has never had a place within the system to begin with, Akemi who has spent her whole life struggling to go against the grain of the system, and Ringo who has always tried to follow the system, but due to his disability, is denied full access to it.

Thus, we've already seen him take the first steps to unlearn his xenophobic and racial prejudice, and we've also seen him start shedding his massive ego and desire for glory, which are both used to mask his own insecurities. If Netflix gives us all 4 planned seasons, then we have 3 more seasons for Taigen to fully grow out these backwards mindsets and finally reach his full potential to become—not a good man—but a great one.

THEREFORE, whatever the reason for his upset at discovering Mizu's gender, I firmly believe that Taigen will get over himself in the end, regardless of whether his anger stemmed from his misogyny, hurt, confusion, or whatever else.

Because Taigen's short temper and emotional immaturity is born from him spending his whole life on the move. Unlike Mizu, who is always alone with her thoughts and meditates constantly to try to cleanse herself of her restless emotions, Taigen is used to surrounding himself with people (see:him in the Shindo Dojo) and ignoring his emotions completely (see:him trying to forget Kohama). Which is why, when he does feel anything, it's overwhelming, and he doesn't know what else to do with it except let it out, usually in an angry outburst. Only when given the proper chance to reflect in Kohama in Ep7, does Taigen finally go through some substantial growth and start feeling remorse over how he'd treated Mizu.

Hence, I suspect something similar will happen when he discovers Mizu's gender, in which he will get upset and shocked and confused first, but then he'll reflect and regret and try to make up for his past behaviour.

And this is what I meant earlier when I said that I don't think he'll 't have a "bad reaction."

Essentially, it is my belief that his reaction will not follow in the footsteps of Mikio's, but instead, directly oppose and subvert that. This is related to the points I referenced in the post I linked above, but also, more importantly, because Taigen and Mikio are narrative foils.

Thus, where Mikio had betrayed Mizu and left her for dead, I believe Taigen will, at the end of the day, remain loyal and continue to fight by her side until the very end.

Because the thing about Taigen, as a person, outside of all the attitudes and prejudices that have been ingrained into him, is his relentless devotion. He gives himself into everything he does, puts in his all, and does not do things halfway. That's what makes him such a good soldier. He does not lead, but follows. He is inherently self-sacrificing and driven by a desire to protect, and we see this in how protective he is of Mizu to the point of enduring torture for her and telling her to use him as a human shield; how his first instinct upon hearing Akemi had been dragged off to get married against her will, is to get up and try to go to her; and how, when hearing the shogunate is in danger, he immediately goes straight to Edo palace to try to warn the shogun, even if it might get him killed in the process.

I could go on about why I think this is what makes him so good for Mizu (because Mizu's arc, especially in Season 1, is literally about accepting help and opening herself up to others) but this post is already atrociously long, so I'll just leave it at that.

So, anon, I hope I answered your question! I'm sorry I can never give short answers though, but I think at this point, it's to be expected from me lol. Thank you for the ask btw! And on that note, my inbox is always open for more 👀

hyung line + fighting with them

w/c: 1.7k

a/n: maybe i'll do a maknae line later, we'll see! part two of them making up can be found here! hope u enjoy!

seungcheol

he really tries his best to not get *super* heated because he knows he loses his temper easily. trying to stop small arguments is kind of futile but you both are some what playful when it comes to those petty fights which are unavoidable. it’s the rarer, more serious fights like the one you’re having tonight which he tries to prevent. yelling in each other’s faces is never what you want but it’s inevitable sometimes. you know he doesn’t mean what he’s saying, you’re sure of it, but you can’t help but let the harsh words get to your head. once it’s all catching up to you, you’re finding it hard to bite back, hard to find the voice in you to yell more, hard to find it in you to say anything at all. after seungcheol’s finished with the tangent he’s on, he notices how you’ve stilled. giving you a moment to respond, the silence gives you both a moment to let your emotions to sink in properly. after a few minutes of silence, both of calming down your breathing and tears, seungcheol will talk again. “baby i’m sorry.” you’re quiet for a moment before you take a deep breath. “let’s talk about this in the morning,” you finally say, “i think we’ve both said enough tonight.” he nods in agreement as you turn on your heel to grab a blanket and pillow from your shared room, but he catches on quickly. “don’t sleep on the couch. i’ll sleep on the couch,” he tells you, pulling the pillow from your hands. you pull them back, “no, you hate sleeping there.” his heart nearly melts. “okay, then just sleep on the bed with me,” he reasons, “please?” even if you’re angry, you know you can’t say no.

jeonghan

i believe him and minghao would be the calmest in an argument, no matter how heated it gets. he's a bit goofy and playful at times, but when he notices that this argument is one of Those Arguments he'd switch it up, being very careful with his words and their impact. would have you both sit down at the dinner table or something like that where you guys could face each other and whenever you're talking and he notices you start talking faster, more angrily, more heated, he'll reach out a hand and encourage you to slow down. you're still a bit angry but how can you feel anything but endearment when he's doing everything in his power to understand you? i really can't imagine an argument with jeonghan where you're both yelling and he says anything he regrets, just because he'd be so perceptive and strict with himself about the course of your argument. sometimes though, he understand that some issues take more time to be resolved BUT if you even suggest the idea of you sleeping in a different room, he'll be very against it, insisting that wherever you're sleeping, he's sleeping.

joshua

big arguments with joshua are rare. he tries to diffuse any situation before they get out of hand—out of hand much like this one. after he loses his cool, things will be come very heated very fast. joshua knows you well—too well—and he’ll definitely strike where it hurts, throwing out words he wouldn’t imagine saying if he was in his right mind. you’re not used to joshua like this, and you’re not sure how to handle it, doing your best to not relent. it's when he's spitting out something that you'd never think he'd ever say that you'd go quiet, letting his words sink in to both of your minds. you're wiping away at your cheeks, furiously trying to get your tears to stop because you're mind is just so clouded and scrambled that you can hardly think. "baby, i—" joshua's voice is softer the next time he speaks after realized just exactly what he's said, but you cut him off. "i'm—" you start with a shaky breath, "—i'm gonna sleep on the couch tonight." joshua physically winces at your proposition but he also knows that he brought this upon himself, so he doesn't protest, rather collecting himself and using his time alone tonight to think about how to approach this situation the next morning.

jun

does not shut up in arguments. like he will be so vocal about his emotions and will say everything that he’s feeling and everything that he’s thinking to the point that it's quite literally obnoxious. you'll be trying to get your point across but he's cutting you off with his own words, and it's not even intentional, he just starts spewing out shit when he's angry. it takes you a long few minutes of you being completely silent, trying to take in everything he's saying to you before jun realizes that maybe, just maybe, he's gone overboard and should shut up right about now. it's not the easiest for him to not say everything he's thinking and it's not easy for you comprehend everything he's saying so you're both sort of just standing there before you turn and go to the kitchen to grab yourself a glass of water. jun follows after you quickly but would do his best to try not to say anything. when you propose that you'll sleep on the couch tonight, he isn't sure what to think, and is about to go on another rampage before stopping himself. he's not fond of the idea, but definitely thinks you both need some time to cool down. he'll try to convince you to take the bed but your refuse, insisting that he's too tall to fit on the couch.

soonyoung

he's like jun in the sense that he'll say almost everything that comes to mind except he's much more calculated about it. it's less of him just saying random shit that's going through his head and more of him not having a filter. he won't hold back the mean words that he definitely wouldn't say if even half of his brain was functioning. he'd throw his hands in the air a lot, using his arms to emphasize the words that he's saying and you know he doesn't intent to be scary but with the way he's yelling and you're yelling and everything is so emotional, you're quite frankly intimidated. you know he'd never ever hurt you but in the heat of the moment, you find yourself almost cowering back in the midst of your argument. it takes hoshi a few minutes to even comprehend your figure, let alone realize that you're intimidated—intimidated by him—before it feels like a slap in the fucking face by the universe. he's suddenly thrown into reality, growing quiet as he realizes just how the past hour has escalated into something neither of you wanted. it's hard for him to calm down—he's just always so emotional, and you love that about him, but it's a lot. eventually, it'll just be quiet as you look at each other, and after a few moments he'll reach out a hand and you'd immediately hold his. he'd say something about talking about this in the morning and you'd just nod along as you both make your way to the bedroom.

wonwoo

thinks A LOT so all of his responses are thought through. well, almost all. i can imagine wonwoo trying to becalm and collected in any argument with you just because he hates conflict and will do his best to make sure this doesn't get out of hand. despite this, you are his weakness in like every way possible, not excluding this one. something about the way both of your voices are being raised steadily and the words you're both saying are starting to become less thought through and god does wonwoo try to keep his composure, he really does, but when things get heated he'd start yelling and then you'd start yelling and you'd both be crying until some point where he realizes enough is enough and that you guys can't hold up a proper conversation like this. he knows this argument will get you nowhere if you continue on like this, so he takes it upon himself to step down and propose that you talk about this in the morning. when you silently agree and go to your shared bedroom to grab a pillow and blanket, he catches on all too quickly, grabbing your wrist before you can set up on the couch. "don't," he pleads, and while you're still upset and heated, you can't ignore the raw emotion in his voice, sighing as you return to your bed, crawling with wonwoo by your side.

jihoon

petty arguments are normal. real ones like these are not. woozi prides himself for being generally composed in your relationship, hardly every losing his cool in situations like these. usually he's good at taming both your and his emotions, so it's not natural for things to end up like this. but in this case, both of you are pent up with so much frustration from god knows what and you just happen to be taking it out on each other. it's not okay, you both know that, but you're too stubborn to quit this battle of yelling you've got going on, and it's only when you find it harder for you to raise your voice that you begin to falter. you don't even realize that you've been yelling so much that your throat begins to hurt until you're taking a deep breath, being hit by a need for water. you leave the room in the middle of his response to you, going to the kitchen to grab yourself some water, which causes him to follow you afterwards, not halting his words. you've already been crying and you can tell his eyes are glossy too, and this is your moment of epiphany—this needs to stop. you don't let him say another word before putting your hand up tiredly, saying something along the lines of, "i can't do this right now and i don't think you can either." he'll shut his mouth real tight when he hears how hoarse your voice has gotten. "let's just talk in the morning," you suggest, trudging your way to your bed as he follows you, nodding in agreement as he crawls in next to you without a word.

love me in spite (guy/honey, redacted audios)

Guy and Honey get into an argument early into their relationship.

(angst, hurt/comfort, arguments, fluff)

3k+ words [ao3 link here!] [masterlist]

[CW and notes: swearing, arguing, insecurities, overthinking, breakdowns, descriptive?? crying?? I think??, idk they’re both having a bad time. probably a lot of grammatical errors lmao. also honey is implied to be empowered!!]

Honey doesn't remember the last time they felt like this, but they’ve always known their personality would bite them in the ass someday.

“Aww, is my beloved mad again? Oh, pray tell, which heinous crime did I commit this time, officer? Robbery? Public indecency?” Guy stroked his chin, pretending to rack up his mind on any possible offense he could have made. “Hm…jaywalking?"

“Guy.”

“Oh! Or maybe—just maybe—it was wanting my ever-so-affectionate lover to stop their pretty head from fussing over me?”

"Guy, can’t you take this seriously for once?” 

“But I am! It’s just not that big of a deal, baby! Look, a manuscript can’t just write itself, y’know? Especially one with a little flair from yours truly!”

“You haven’t slept properly for days now, you work overnight most of the time, and on your days off you pull all-nighters writing!” 

“Oh, you’re one to talk!”

“Well, this one’s more serious! I haven’t even seen you eat a proper meal and anything I offer you gets left out cold!”

They continued to have a back-and-forth confrontation, voices raising and words getting crueler as time goes on, with both parties not intending to back down anytime soon. Honey thought it was the first time they ever heard Guy let out an actual annoyed scoff and they noticed the slightest change in his demeanor. 

“Jesus, Honey. Of all the times you can finally act like you care for me, why now? Hm?” There was a playful smile on his face. It almost made them believe he was still joking around but his words were laced with an unmistakable annoyance.

But something inside Honey snapped. Their chest tightened at the thought of their partner thinking they didn’t care. They felt themselves flinch from the comment and Guy seemed to notice that too as his smile drops. “Shit. Honey, I didn’t–”

“I’m–,” They scrambled to get their bag, keys, wallet, anything they would need because they just want to be anywhere but here.“I’m going out. Let’s finish this later. I-I just can’t fucking do this right now.”

They didn’t mean that. Didn’t mean for it to sound so harsh. Then again, they don’t mean to sound so harsh most of the time but end up doing so either way. Grumpy. Mean. Intimidating. A common descriptor from most people. But Guy wasn’t like most people. ‘Unless,’ they think, ‘That was just a lie you told yourself to believe in.’

Honey shuts the door behind them, leaving the building and the warmth of their partner.

The pain in their chest almost distracts them from the exhaustion currently catching up to their body after a long day. They can feel the telltale signs of a migraine coming as they rub their temples gingerly with one hand, the other guiding the steering wheel. ‘Damn, it started to rain too. What a great way to lighten the mood,’ they think bitterly. Their mind eventually goes back to the fight earlier.

“Of all the times you finally can act like you care for me, why now? Hm?”

They do care. They care for him so much it scares them . He knows that, right? Even if they groan at his flirtatious quips and innuendos or if they grumble at his (very creative) attempts to give them as many hugs and kisses as they would allow, he knows that that’s just how they are, right? 

Maybe that wasn’t enough anymore. Maybe that never was enough to begin with. Maybe Guy finally realized he deserves better than an ill-tempered partner who doesn’t even know how to properly show any affection to their own fucking boyfriend.

A sharp car horn snaps them out of their thoughts. Shit, it’s a green light. They continue to drive until they see the familiar soft glow of a nearby 7-Eleven sign despite the persistent rain. 

Honey's entrance was signaled with the chime of the bell above the glass door. It’s relatively empty save for what they recognize to be a few D.A.M.N. students buying some late-night study snacks. Walking through the aisles while the pop song they heard their partner hum before softly plays in the background, slowly but surely calming them down. Muscle memory makes Honey reach for Guy’s favorite snack and they wonder how he’s doing. 

---

Guy doesn't remember the last time he felt like this, but he’s always known his personality would bite him in the ass someday.

Sure, he and Honey had their disagreements, but they were all accompanied by playful slaps and teasing laughter. Never had it gotten to the point of an actual argument that caused them to spit such venom toward each other like the one they just had. 

“I’m going out. I-I just can’t fucking do this right now.”

The door closes and Honey leaves, bringing the warmth of their shared apartment with them. Guy lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and starts to get to work. He wordlessly distracts himself by cleaning the living room—picking up stray plastic chip bags, vacuuming crumbs that settled on the cheap shag carpet, and fixing up the pillows on the couch that he’s been nesting on for the past few days while he works on the final draft of the project he was writing. 

Piles of paper littered their second-hand coffee table. Every inch is covered in Post-it notes and wrinkled pieces of paper filled with ideas that he had haphazardly scribbled in an attempt to record them before it leaves his mind. Most of them, he recalls, are just random doodles of spirals and honeybees that he absentmindedly drew as he was typing away on his laptop. The spaces left exposed on the table were adorned with faded mug rings on the old dark oak wood.

He tries to compile them into a neater collection, pausing as he notices a doodle he made of his Honey. It was far from a masterpiece, but the cute cartoony style paired with heavily exaggerated furrowed brows in order to replicate their partner’s usual expression pulls a smile from his lips. There was even a jumbled-up line inside a small text bubble next to it to symbolize the adorable grumbles they always make. 

Fuck, he misses them so fucking much.

A sudden wave of exhaustion almost makes him drop the stack of papers he’s holding and it dawns on him how much he really has been neglecting his own health for this project. The stress of trying to find a job where he can utilize his degree and finally get out of that godforsaken pizza place has been taking a toll on him. All Honey was trying to do was for him to take a break that he so desperately ( and, he embarrassingly admits, unknowingly ) needed. And he just treated it like some silly joke. Granted, it really was because he wasn’t used to being coddled after, but, it definitely wasn’t an excuse to dismiss their worries like that. 

The guilt builds up in Guy’s throat like bile. He feels worse now, especially considering how much they struggle with expressing themselves like that to him in general, even if they don’t say it aloud.

He finishes cleaning up but the restlessness doesn’t leave him as time passes by with no word from his partner. Maybe this is it? Maybe he fucked it all up like always? Maybe they finally came to their senses and got fed up with him. It wasn’t uncommon for people to think he was a bit too much. Too chaotic, too irritating, too overwhelming. He ever minded those comments in the first place, but the thought of Honey possibly thinking like that too makes him sick. 

It’s getting late and he can hear the rain outside get louder. The anxiety that has been settling in their stomach flares up. He reaches for his phone to message them before concluding they might not want to be bothered right now. Shit, he’s feeling a little sluggish. 

Guy begrudgingly trudges to the wardrobe of their shared bedroom to get a change of clothes. He glances over as he pulls a familiar-looking hoodie from the hanger. Their double bed, adorned with a pizza plushie that Honey had given to him as a joke gift, was more inviting than usual. Maybe he should just take a rest and go to sleep. 

No, no, no, they might want some space from that too. Guy wants to talk this out with them instead of sleeping it out. If this persists, he isn't sure how his poor heart could take it. He ultimately decides to go back to the couch, stay up, and (at the very least) greet them when they come back. 

If they come back. God, please come back.

What if they don’t?

The thought felt like a mere whisper in his head but it left him numb. Guy's aware of his tendency to overthink but before he knew it, he was lying down on his side, hand clamped to his mouth as he forced his eyes shut. He lets out a quiet sniff. His breath hitches. Then he hears himself choke out a small sob. 

Then another.

And another. 

And another.

The dam breaks, his eyes water and he heaves as much air as he can into his lungs. It suddenly became a struggle to breathe and it definitely became a struggle to calm the ugly thoughts that plague his mind. Shaky, broken sobs fill the room, he cringes at how pathetic it sounds.  He hates this. He hates this feeling. Just come back, I’m sorry.

After what felt like hours, his sniffles slowly died down. With heavy eyes and a heavier heart, he finds himself drowsy from all the crying. The hot tears streaming down his face had begun to dry, but, the warmth on his cheeks reminds him of his Honey and the thought of them finally lulls him to sleep.

---

Honey returns, a little haggard but with a calmer mind. The drive around Dahlia and their quick run to the local convenience store definitely helped lighten their mood but the guilt still followed them around like a shadow. Shaky hands find their way to the lock of their shared apartment and Honey opens to a dim living room, with the forgotten hanging bulbs from the kitchen barely providing a sense of light. They noticed the place was tidier than they remembered.

It was eerily quiet, as well. The wrinkling sound of the paper bag that they were holding filled the room.

"Guy?" Fuck, they can hear their voice getting wobbly. 

"I'm home. You there?" A shift from the room was all they heard accompanied by a sniffle. Honey suddenly becomes hyper-aware of the soft snores matching the rise and fall of a figure on the couch.

They couldn't really explain why their heart started to pound with their pulsating headache. Why they made a beeline inside their apartment. Why they started to get down on their knees in the living room despite the protests of their tired body. Why their chest sank deeper as they saw their partner all bundled up on their battered couch. 

They don't miss the frown on his face and his tear-stained cheeks.

Fuck. Tears? Guy was crying? 

Honey quietly (urgently) sets down the paper bag from their grasp and slowly places a hand on his shoulder, patting it ever so gently.

"H-hey? Guy, what are you doing over here?" They noticed how cold they felt to the touch and remembered their thermostat wasn't working that well. "It's freezing. You're freezing. "

After a few gentle pats and caresses (and reminders of how it's cold here, the bed is warm. Take it, please. ) Guy manages to blearily open his eyes, rubbing away the sleepiness and the few tears that managed to slip.

Cute. His eyes are so cute. Honey would have thought if their mind wasn't filled with thoughts and questions. Why was he sleeping on the couch? Was he waiting for me? He didn't need to do that. Why was he crying? Did he cry himself to sleep? Was it because of me?

Did I do this?

"Honey?" Guy's voice croaked and Honey's heart aches after hearing how hoarse it was. It aches a little more to see him smile at them despite the argument they had earlier.

"You're back…" he mumbles, slightly adjusting his body to prop himself up with his arm. He was wearing their hoodie again.

"Guy, why are you sleeping here? It's cold," they repeated, the worry in their tone becoming more and more evident. 

This had Guy fully sitting up, giving his full attention to their Honey with a slight grin that was preparing to give out a smug reply before dropping his smile and deciding otherwise. If he noticed that their eyes were starting to get just as glassy as his, he didn't mention it. “I-I mean, you’re…mad, right? I thought you’d want some more space from me or something…” 

“N-no! I mean, yeah, thank you for that but that doesn't—” Honey cuts themselves off with a groan. Why can’t I just say what I want to say? What do I even want to say? Guy immediately notices their partner’s frustration and sits down beside them.

“Hey, hey, it's okay. You’re okay, Honey,” he says with a reassuring smile and slowly raises his hand near their cheek, “Can I touch?” 

Honey immediately nods, almost melting at Guy’s warm hands. The familiar calluses from working countless graveyard shifts and delivery jobs all over Dahlia for Max’s kept them grounded. They notice a newly formed bump on the ring finger of his dominant hand from the number of handwritten notes he’s been doing recently.

After a few moments of soft breaths and the sound of Guy's rough thumb gently gliding across their cheek, Honey let out a weak laugh but the words that followed were by no means a joke to them. “You’re so good for me.” Too good. I don’t deserve you. 

It was Guy’s turn to let out a confused chuckle. He felt anything but good to them at the moment.

“What do you mean by that, hon?” He caresses their cheek and he forgets how much his chest hurts when his Honey leans into his touch. “Hey, c’mon. Do you…do you wanna talk about what happened?”

Honey nods once more. "I'm…I'm sorry," they choke out as if the words got caught up in their throat. Everything was overwhelming again. The sound of the remains of the rain, the ticks of the wall clock, and most of all, Guy's unwavering attention to them. They avoid his gaze. 

"I know that…I'm…I dont have the most…pleasant attitude," The nervousness in their tone was obvious but the quick squeeze of their hand from their partner was enough for them to go on. "And I know that you didn’t mean that. About me…not caring,” They felt him give another squeeze, a bit tighter than the last. “Fuck, god knows you’ve put up with me long enough for me to know you wouldn’t mean that.” 

Honey manages to finally look him in his eyes again, they think it's their favorite color. “I…I just don’t know why I act like this. Why can't I just…care for you in a normal way.”

“Oh, Honey…” 

“I’m just so fucking sorry. I really, really care for you, please know that,” they sob out. Guy thinks he’s never seen them this vulnerable. His arms slowly circle and stop around their body as if he was waiting for their permission but Honey beats them to the embrace, burying their head on his chest. He knows they can hear his heart speed up.

“Hey, I know, I know,” The hands that were once on his partner's cheeks find their way to their back, rubbing circles and tracing shapes. “I’m really sorry for what I said too. The stress from work and writing these past few days is catching up but please don’t let that ever be an excuse for me to talk like that, especially to you and especially if it makes you think of all these lies.”

“And all this talk about…caring for me in the ‘normal’ way. Don’t say that.” Guy slowly pulls away to tilt his partner's chin up for their eyes to meet again. The way his Honey looked so distressed was a sight he decided he never wants to see again. “What matters is that I know you care and I want you to know that the way you show it is… fuck, I’ve never felt so cared for like this until you, Honey. Okay?”

“I’ll work…on not neglecting my health too. If it weren’t for you, I might’ve actually collapsed from exhaustion,” he adds, lips upturned into a sheepish smile. “So, thank you.”

Guy isn’t prepared for the way their Honey finally graced him with a soft smile. He’s had them laugh and grin at his…eccentric behavior before, but this smile held so much fondness and sincerity (directed towards him of all people! ) that made this moment all the more intimate. 

I think I'm gonna have a fucking heart attack. He doesn't recall having butterflies for lunch but he definitely feels them flutter up and about in his ribcage. He wants to treasure this moment. He wants to treasure them.

Honey looks down, uncharacteristically flustered and Guy’s heart soars again. “Thank you,” they whispered. “For that.”

“Of course, Honey. Though, I must say,” he grins. “Although your methods of conveying your love for me are a bit… unconventional , you could say I’m on the more bizarre side, too. I guess we make a perfect match after all then, don't we?”

Honey snorts, a reaction that's endearingly familiar to him and he smirks even wider. “You’re so fucking stupid.”

“Well, for the record, if anybody here is fucking stupid, it would be you!” Guy shoots back, “Hi, hello, I’m stupid, by the way, ehh– Ow, ow, ow!”

The pair continues to laugh and banter at each other like before, but, as they comfortably settle down to cuddle on the couch, they both don’t miss the way the grip on their entangled hands tightened for the slightest bit.

---

hope you enjoyed!! please let me know if i had any mistakes or just some feedback in general!! i kinda wanna continue doing these kinda stuff :DD

Animals, CoD Ghosts HC’s

What animals/creatures are the Ghosts?

A/N🪶: These are just my options! Feel free to send me yours. These are for all the Ghosts, including former, deceased and current within the Ghosts game. This list will include Rorke, Ajax and Elias Walker. Also this is going to be formatted differently from the first HC, Natural Disasters.

David “Hesh” Walker - German Shepard

Hesh is loyal, probably to a fault. Willing to do whatever it takes to protect the ones he loves and get the job done, even if he gets injured in the process.

^ Bringing me to my next point, Hesh is very protective of his family. The mere idea of anyone getting hurt is enough to get this man baring his teeth and attacking.

In the Natural Disasters list, I mentioned that Hesh, according to Urban Dictionary, means courageous, another trait of German Shepards.

One more trait that applies is also Shepards, really any animal in general, being alert as well. This is a given, though, considering he is a soldier in active war zones especially with such effective and deadly enemies. He needs to make every second count and can’t afford to slack in these areas.

I should mention that Shepards are obedient yet stubborn. Hesh knows when to listen to his superiors but he’ll easily let you know when he doesn’t agree with something. Think about when Merrick, Keegan and Elias (mask on) picked them up and Hesh was yelling about their dad still being caught in the crossfire. Merrick got Hesh to sit his ass down but Hesh was clearly not happy about it, understandably.

Logan Walker - Mountain Lion

Mountain lions can’t roar and Logan can’t, or —depending on your headcanons, consciously chooses not to— talk.

Logan finds other methods of communicating, for example, when he and Keegan were about to bust into the room to get to Ajax, Logan used his fingers to count down.

The National Wildlife Federation website says “Mountain lions are territorial and solitary. They use pheromones and physical signs… to define their territory.” (Mountain Lion, Fun Fact.)

Mountain lions are known for being very stealthy predators, again a given considering the fact we’re talking about the Ghosts.

The Mountain Lion Foundation describes them as being relentless hunters which almost connects it to the wiki quote for Logan that calls him a cold-blooded killer and an excellent soldier (CoD Ghosts: Wiki, Logan Walker, Personality.).

Elias T. “Scarecrow” Walker - Black Bear

Scary but not as scary as you may expect.

While Elias is certainly ready to do his job at any point no matter how bloody, he still has his weak spots, that being his sons.

He’s caring but while be stoic when necessary. He’s not territorial but will protect his friends and family when the time calls for it.

Also one detail I find cute about bears is that they have DNA relation to dogs, albeit very distant. I like to call bears giant murder puppies :D

Thomas A. Merrick - Grizzly Bear

I want to say that grizzly bears are often considered to be more dangerous than black bears and more likely to attack if given a reason to.

Both grizzlies and black bears can charge but where black bears may shift away at the last second and avoid attacking, grizzlies may continue to charge and attack their target (once again I’m thinking about Merrick punching Rorke because it just makes me laugh, that man was not ready).

Of course, Merrick is dangerous but he knows when the time is and isn’t appropriate despite his temper. Merrick is a big dude too, so I think this works (“stocky”).

Gabriel T. Rorke - Polar Bear

Once he has his sights on you, you’re already gone.

Hehe, polar bears are mighty dangerous.

Polar bears are bigger and stronger sometimes, but other time grizzlies and polars can be about the same in build.

Polar bears are more likely to attack considering they have fewer resources for food and typically eat a lot as well.

Fun fact: Polar bears don’t hibernate.

^^^ Piggy backing off that, Rorke doesn’t seem to be resting. He’s always planning something, whether it be a plan B or future plans.

He’s a very large and commanding presence who will find alternatives when desperate, willing to do what he must to make sure his plans are completed.

Keegan P. Russ - Leopard

Fast, sneaky. You don’t know he’s there until it’s too late.

Fun Fact: Leopards can roar. Keegan, though very quiet, stills speaks and intimidates with his voice when necessary.

Leopard’s are solitary and ambush hunters, I don’t need to explain this but I will.

If you recall, Rorke had a lot of trouble getting his nasty ass hands on Keegan after kidnapping the Walker family and Merrick.

His first objective was to find Keegan. In my eyes, it’s because he knows that as long as Keegan is alive, Rorke isn’t safe.

Like many animals, leopards care for one another, seen with families. I think Keegan is a very caring person but he avoids showing it often, which is fair.

Keegan continuously checks in with Logan throughout the game. In the underwater mission, he made sure Logan was okay. If you look closely when walking behind Keegan on the submarine, Keegan turns his head back to us briefly.

Alex V. “Ajax” Johnson - Elephant

Ajax is smart and powerful, I want to say he’s very determined.

In the short time we knew him, he was very stubborn as well. He didn’t give up anything and held out for a while. Though he was a lower rank than the other characters.

In his last moments, he made sure the last Ghosts knew what was happening in a last ditch effort to keep them safe and aware.

It’s hard to pin down super specific traits due to the fact that elephants can exhibit many and there’s not much we can give to Ajax.

I want to say that Ajax was more laid-back with his friends and comrades, leaving his bold energy for those who don’t deserve his respect ( insert the iconic scene where Ajax puts up his middle finger right at the Federation soldier ).

Like all the animals and characters on this list, Ajax was dangerous when necessary. He wasn’t spending every moment trying to be scary or intimidating or anything. He’s confident in himself and his abilities and he doesn’t need anyone else to speak up for him.

The respect we hear given to him by the Ghosts after his death was well deserved.

Love you, Ajax <3

Kick - Monitor Lizard

Some kind of reptile (I was so tempted to put him as a Gila Monster but I can’t do that to my best boi).

I’d say probably a water monitor.

These lizards, which can grow to 9 feet btw, don’t surprise their prey, but “actively pursue” them.

While these creatures have venom, but it’s not necessarily fatal.

Kick is definitely dangerous when he’s needed but it’s not like a “I am the grim reaper.” type of thing, it’s more like “I have a job to do and you won’t be in my way.”.

These creatures are known for being intelligent which lines up with Kick’s likely (not confirmed?) role as an information specialist.

The main thing that doesn’t quite line up is the fact that water monitors can be friendly whereas Kick is, if not more stand-offish, then solitary. I do imagine that he eventually opens up, but he’s definitely more comfy with his computers.

Neptune - Owl

I imagine that Neptune, being one of the original Ghosts, is very wise, though more subtle. I can’t think of what kind of owl he’d be, maybe snowy.

I mostly just wanted to include him here. Feel free to add onto him.

Riley… Riley

The most dangerous creature ever, himself.

World’s Best Throat-Snatcher over here being a cutie patootie with blood on his maw. 10/10 best boi.

tell me pretty lies

pairing: chuuya x reader

notes: this is actually a part two to this: <3

author’s notes: this is incredibly rushed so please ignore the weird ass pacing near the end ok ty mwah

Kunikida is glaring at Dazai. The latter does not acknowledge the former. In fact, he can't, given that he’s currently curled up into a fetal position and dead asleep on top of Kunikida’s desk.

“Oh my god,” Atsushi whispers.

You nod solemnly. “He’s gonna kill him.”

You and the white-haired boy are currently crouched down behind a bookshelf at the agency, peeking through the gaps at the Shakespearean tragedy unfolding before you.

Atsushi leans over and whispers again: “Should we call the police?”

“We are the police,” you hiss.

“The normal police!”

“What, and have them arrest Kunikida for second-degree murder? The agency would fall to shambles!”

Atsushi opens his mouth to retort, only to be interrupted by a sudden piercing screech.

Atsushi stares at you. You stare back. Both of you share the same expression.

Oh shit.

You both burst from your hiding space and sprint towards the noise, fully ready to stop Kunikida from committing bloody murder. The sight that greets you halts both you and Atsushi in your tracks.

The scream did not come from Dazai.

Your eyes widen, and you’re sure Atsushi’s follow suit. It is the only appropriate reaction to the scene before you. Dazai is wide awake now, backed up against the wall in terror and amusement, and has his arms outstretched in what can only be described as a defensive stance. Clenched tight in Dazai’s bandaged hands is the instrument of Kunikida’s anger—although anger doesn’t quite encompass the extent of emotions that have taken over Kunikida. The man is furious. His face is so red you’re afraid he’s going to faint—or explode. What's even more terrifying is the look in his eyes—one of a crazed person blind to reason.

Atsushi backs away until he’s on the opposite side of the room and as far away from his superiors as possible.

Traitor.

You, on the other hand, slowly inch between the two men and hold out your hands in a placating gesture—as if trying to ward off a predator who has locked onto its prey.

“Kunikida, calm down. We can talk this out. It was just an accident, right, Dazai? You signal at him with a tight smile, silently indicating for him to nod his head and agree.

Instead, Dazai does what he always does: open his big, fat mouth.

“I did him a favour!”

Kunikida’s eye twitches… and then he charges.

“Atsushi!” You yelp.

The boy leaps from his spot and full-force tackles Kunikida to the floor as you grab Dazai by the ear and aggressively yank him out the door and into the buzzing streets of Yokohama, hoping the presence of witnesses will be an effective deterrent to Kunikida’s killing intent.

Dazai is still protesting when you drag him to a quiet bar snuggled into the corner of a practically desolate street. It’s a familiar place—one that ignites a spark of nostalgia within you. You used to frequent this place quite often with a certain short-tempered redhead.

Once inside, you sit Dazai at the bar and raise a questioning brow. “Did you have to provoke him like that?”

Dazai just shrugs and orders a few drinks, shamelessly flirting with the waitress while doing so.

“There’s a lovely bridge down by the city that we could throw ourselves—“ His words turn muffled as you shove a hand to his mouth and politely send the waitress away, apologizing as she leaves with the order.

He finally wrenches free from your grip. “Hey!”

You turn your gaze back towards him, a warning in your eyes.

He clears his throat. “So…”

“You’re going to regret that, you know,” you sigh.

Dazai sits back, relaxed. “He was overdue for a haircut anyway.”

You groan and drop your head into your hands, actively willing the oncoming headache away. You can still vividly picture the long bundle of blonde hair lying on the floor, frayed at the ends where Dazai snipped it off with a pair of office scissors.

He is so screwed.

“Enough about that bore. I needed to talk to you anyway; I got a mission for you,” Dazai interrupts your thoughts, a small smile on his lips. He always manages to exude an air of nonchalance, even when he’s anything but.

“What is it?”

He flashes a smile at the waitress as she sets down your drinks, and you thank her before turning your attention back to the man opposite you.

“There’s an event—a charity ball. One Port Mafia executive and a few of his subordinates are slated to attend. I need you to infiltrate the party as a guest and gather information from our high-ranked target,” he explains.

You narrow your eyes. There’s something Dazai isn’t telling you. You can tell by the way he’s fiddling with the drink coaster.

“Why me? I’m a doctor. My undercover days are long over,” you prod. There were much younger, active field agents that would be better suited to the job. So why you?

Dazai hesitates. That’s never a good sign.

“The… agency believes you are uniquely qualified for this role.”

“Who’s the target?” You push him for a better answer. There’s something else—-something bigger he’s hiding.

Dazai murmurs.

“What?”

“I said it’s Chuuya.” Dazai rushes the words out so quickly that you can’t comprehend what he says at first.

And then it clicks.

“Absolutely not!” Your glass clatters as you shoot up in your seat.

It has been three months since you patched up Chuuya in that abandoned tunnel, and you haven’t seen him since. You don’t plan on breaking that streak.

“Hear me out—“

“I said no,” you snap.

Now it’s Dazai’s turn to sigh. “Please. Just sit and listen.”

Against all rationale, you do. Although you’re visibly irritated—a fact Dazai takes into consideration as he broaches the topic once more.

“The mission is more of a… peace negotiation? We need you to set up a meeting with their executives as the agency requires to speak with them about sensitive matters,” he explains. Dazai takes a sip of whiskey as he lets the information sink in.

“You want me to set up a meeting between the Armed Detective Agency and the Port Mafia?”

“Exactly.”

“Through Chuuya?”

“Yup.”

“Have you hit your head again?” You think he must have if he’s asking such a ridiculous thing from you.

Another Dazai sigh.

“I think you are our best chance at getting near Chuuya without inciting bloodshed or conflict.”

You’re staring at the table, a maelstrom of thoughts swirling through your head like a disaster-level hurricane.

“Do you have any idea what you’re asking of me?” Your voice comes out low with the slightest tremble. You bite your lip as you await his answer.

Dazai drums his fingers on the bartop and lowers his head into his palm. “I know Chuuya. And I know you. Talk to him; it’s the only way things can be fixed.”

You swallow. Trying to fix things between you and Chuuya is like trying to reconstruct a glass vase dropped from a thousand feet onto concrete. Whatever he felt for you has been viscerally tainted by your betrayal.

“That’s a nice little fantasy. Sadly, real life doesn’t work that way. I refuse,” you reply.

You drain your glass, and the scotch burns as it slides down your throat. You almost relish the pain—maybe because you believe it’s deserved.

“You’ve been mopey as hell these last few months. Even more so than before. It’s depressing—even for me,” Dazai snorts.

You roll your eyes. The past few weeks haven’t been the best, but it’s not like you’re drowning in tears, ice cream, and shitty rom-coms.

“That’s rich coming from you.”

Dazai ignores you. “Talk to him. It’ll be good for both of you. I’m sure he’s just as mopey over at that garbage dump they call an organization.”

Are you going to do this? Are you really going to put yourself through all this again?

Dazai hits the final nail in the coffin. “Plus, the agency’s counting on you.”

Yes. Yes, you are.

Fuck.

“Fine. One hour. If I can’t convince him in one hour, I’m walking my ass right out the door.”

Dazai smiles, and his entire face brightens up. “Deal!”

You reluctantly shake his hand, already bracing for what’s going to be one of the worst nights of your life.

“Oh, and [Y/N]?”

“Yeah?”

“Chuuya—not that he’ll ever admit it—needs you,” Dazai squeezes your shoulder. “And I think you need him too.”

—

“This is a tremendously bad idea!” You hiss into the microphone as you’re let into the lavish venue.

All you get in response is Dazai’s infuriating giggles as you make your way down the hall, being extra careful not to trip over the formal attire you’re adorned in.

The night of the event comes a week after your talk with Dazai. After a whirlwind day of pampering and tailoring, you finally make your debut at the party.

A set of platinum-gilded doors greet you alongside a server as you near the end of the hall. He checks over your ticket and, once satisfied, allows you into the incredibly spacious ballroom.

Massive ivory pillars stand firm along the north and south ends, only partially hidden behind the tens of tables piled high with delicacies and wine. Classical music ebbs and flows throughout the room, courtesy of the musicians nestled in the far back. Servers with platters of champagne flutes whisk around the considerable venue like bees in a hive. You snatch one off of a passing waitress and down it in one go.

You’ll need much more of that to get through the night.

You make your way through the crowd, dodging as a couple swaying to the music veers into your path.

Where is he? One part of you dreads the sight of Chuuya, but another part—the less logical part—aches in his absence.

“I don’t see him,” you murmur to Dazai.

“Just keep a lookout,” Dazai replies.

Another twenty minutes go by. You’re four drinks in by now.

“He hasn’t shown up. I’m going to get some air.” You breeze past the throes of partygoers and make your way down a quiet hallway that leads to an open balcony.

The cool night air is a welcome reprieve on your warm skin. You close your eyes and let the silence take over, tuning out the buzz of the party behind you.

A shuffling noise behind you snaps you from your haze. It’s followed by a thumping noise and a few curses from the person behind you.

You slowly turn around to see what’s happening as he apologizes.

“Crap, sorry. I didn’t realize anyone would be—“

The man stops mid-sentence. You stop breathing altogether.

“Chuuya.”

“What?! He’s there?” Dazai exclaims into your ear. You ignore him, too preoccupied with the thundering in your chest and the cause of it—the man in front of you.

He looks stricken. It makes your heart sink.

“Why are you here?”

You gulp. He’s right; you shouldn’t be here. You have no right to be here. You’re not brave enough for this. Not brave enough to face and hurt him once more—-not when you know your mere presence causes him agony.

“I’m here to talk. Can we just talk? Please?” You’re terrified he will turn his back and leave—which would be a horrible, cruel irony.

Chuuya locks eyes with you, but there’s none of the kindness he used to reserve for you there. Ice-cold.

“We have nothing to talk about. You’re an enemy [Y/N], don’t you get that? One of your detective buddies is probably listening in on this conversation right now,” Chuuya spits.

Each word is a knife to your chest. Partially because he’s right, and you hate yourself for it, and partially because the person in front of you is nothing like the Chuuya you used to know. The Chuuya who demanded medical attention for paper cuts just so he could spend time with you, who threw away all his favourite snacks because you mentioned you were mildly allergic, who once memorized your favourite song so he could sing it with you at karaoke without embarrassing you. That sweet, gentle man is gone and in his place is a hardened shell of his former self.

You consider leaving. You consider lying to him, tell him he’s wrong, that he can trust you. But none of that’s going to piece together your fractured relationship. So instead, you look him dead in the eye and remove your earpiece. Once it’s off, you drop it to the ground and crush the device under your heel.

“Will you listen to what I have to say now?”

Chuuya says nothing, so you take his silence as a yes.

“I want to apologize,” you begin.

He scoffs and shoves his hands into his pockets. A nervous tic. “It’s a little late for that, don’t you think?”

You swallow again. The lump in your throat is making it hard to breathe.

“Not for… what happened. I know you won’t believe me about that. I’m sorry I said you were just a job. You weren’t. Not in the slightest.”

He laughs, though it’s void of humour. Chuuya steps forward, closer and closer, until he’s only inches away. You can make out the dark circles under his eyes and the bitterness in his gaze.

You suck in a sharp breath at his proximity. His cologne is making your head spin.

“Liar,” he seethes.

You shift. You’re even closer now, but your expression has changed. “Believe what you want, but that’s the truth. The last thing I wanted was to hurt you; I still don’t want that.”

“Then why the hell did you leave?” He’s almost shouting now.

You anxiously run a hand through your hair. “I had to. I couldn’t face you knowing you saw me as your enemy.” The last word leaves a bitter taste in your mouth.

“You could have stayed. We could have worked it out, somehow,” he argues.

You shake your head. “I was a spy. You wouldn’t have wanted—“

“You have no idea what I wanted! I didn’t care, [Y/N]. All I wanted was you. But you didn’t even stick around long enough to find that out.”

You’re tearing up now. The burning sensation in your eyes is at its peak as a tear rolls down your cheek. You can barely make out Chuuya behind such watery lenses.

“Damn it, why are you—“ He’s panicking now. Chuuya always freaks out when you cry. It’s comforting to know some things haven’t changed.

He yanks out something from his pocket and awkwardly tries to hand it to you. You start full-on sobbing once you realize what he’s given you—the embroidered silk handkerchief you got him for his birthday. You blame the alcohol for the sensitiveness you've experienced tonight.

A few minutes later and you’re still a mess, but a much less weepy mess than before. You’re leaning against the stone balcony, and Chuuya’s sitting across from you, much like that night in the tunnel.

“Thank you.” Your voice comes out weak—-strained.

“Yeah, whatever,” he grumbles. He’s supposed to be angry at you, but you’ve put him in an awkward situation. The moment he saw tears in your eyes, all logical thought flew out of his mind. At that moment, his only goal was to find a way to stop you from crying.

“I can’t believe you still have this,” you murmur as you fold the cloth into a tidy square. You try to hand it back to Chuuya, but instead, he briefly glances at it and pushes your hand away.

“Keep it.”

The knot in your chest tightens.

Silence fills the space once again. The party is still alive and electric, but it seems miles away from the pit of misery you’ve found yourself in.

Chuuya stares up—toward the glittering black mass above that’s decorated with thousands and thousands of stars. He doesn’t speak, doesn’t move. He has nothing more to say to you.

Chuuya’s going to leave.

That sudden petrifying thought sends you into a panic.

All at once, the sky tilts, and it takes your ability to breathe with it. Your lungs are screaming—begging for air, and your head feels like it has lifted from your shoulders and begun floating away. The world is distorted… warping… shit.

Everything is wrong.

Someone’s calling for you—crying out your name. They sound scared. Why are they scared?

Amidst the chaos, something soft is draped around your shoulders. A jacket. It’s warm. And it smells familiar—like cedarwood and nutmeg and—

“It’s okay. You’re going to be okay. Can you hear me, [Y/N]? You’re safe, I promise.”

Chuuya.

He’s here. He didn’t leave. He’s right in front of you, holding your face in his hands so gently that one might think you were made of glass. Your hands dig into his suit as you clench your fists around the fabric. He is the only thing anchoring you to reality right now.

You draw in a deep breath. The dizziness is slowly fading. A few minutes of breathing exercises later, you’re no longer in hysterics, and the world is clear again.

Chuuya hasn’t moved, his hands still cup your head, and the worry in his expression doesn’t wane. He’s wiping your tears away, but you didn’t even know you were crying—and you definitely don’t care once you realize Chuuya’s eyes are shiny with his own tears.

Now you’re filled with a sense of concern. Automatically, your hands reach for his face, doing the same for him as he’s been doing for you. It must look ridiculous, but you don’t particularly care.

“Why are you crying?” You whisper.

Chuuya drops his hands from your face and clutches onto your wrists instead. “You scared me. You started heaving and sobbing, and I didn’t know what to do. I tried calling for you, and when you didn’t answer, I just—I didn’t….”

Chuuya grips you harder—as if making sure you're real. Like he‘s afraid you’d disappear again if he let go.

“I was fucking terrified, okay?”

You thumb away another droplet as he closes his eyes and leans into your touch.

“You’re supposed to hate me,” you note.

“I know,” he breathes.

The silence drags on for a few minutes as you let him gather his composure. Chuuya’s tears have stopped, but he doesn’t lean away from your touch like you thought he would.

“Do you?”

You’re not so sure you want to hear the answer. In fact, you’re not sure you can survive it.

Chuuya tilts his head until you see your reflection in his eyes. “I wanted to marry you. Had the ring ready and everything.”

You freeze. That is not the answer you expected. But you shake off the shock and give him a small smile.

“I would’ve said yes.”

Chuuya sucks in a sharp breath and pulls back—only a little. “Don’t…don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Lie. You think you’re making it better, but it just hurts more. I beg of you, no more lies—even the pretty ones.”

Another blade to the heart. It feels like you’re dying from the inside out. You’ve got nothing to lose at this point, so you say the one thing you’ve wanted to tell him for the past few months.

“I love you.”

Chuuya’s expression morphs into one of pure anguish. He doesn’t believe you.

“Stop,” he rasps.

But you don’t. You stare him dead in the eyes as you tell him again.

He’s shaking his head, silently pleading for you to stop. You ignore him. You have to do this. You have to convince him.

“I love you. I loved you then, and I love you now—that has never changed. And I know you won’t believe me, but if you asked me again, right now, I would say yes.”

You half-expect him to walk away and half-expect him to reject you. To your utter surprise, Chuuya does neither. Instead, he drops his head to your shoulder and mumbles something you can’t quite make out.

“Hm?”

“Marry me.”

You almost keel over from the shock. You didn’t think he’d actually ask you again.

“Chuuya, you’re not thinking straight—“

“You said you’d marry me if I asked again, so here I am: asking again.”

You’re trembling. “But you don’t believe me.”

“If that’s all it takes to have you again, I’ll believe anything you tell me. I’ll believe the Earth circles the sun, that Bigfoot is real, and gravity doesn’t exist. I don’t care. I’ll make a fool out of myself if it means you’ll laugh for me again. I’ll defect if you want me to, just… stay. Marry me and stay.”

Chuuya’s voice is breaking, but his gaze is steady as it awaits your answer.

You nod. “Absolutely ye—“

You’re interrupted by the press of Chuuya’s lips against your own. You melt against him as his hand comes up to cup the base of your neck.

Chuuya groans. He’s died and gone to heaven. He forgot how good you tasted: like home. It’s dangerous how addicting you are—he could get drunk on your lips alone.

A sudden thought pokes into the corner of your mind as Chuuya pulls you closer.

“Wait!” You force him back with a palm to his chest.

He glares at your hand, annoyed that it’s pushing him away from you. “What?”

“Both the agency and the mafia will want to come, so I guess they got their neutral meeting ground, but who specifically do we invite?”

Chuuya makes a face. “Anyone but Dazai.”

You burst out laughing—partially because of the joke, but mainly because of how elated you are to be back in Chuuya’s arms.

I'm so curious to hear what you think about non RPF differences between Lando with Carlos, DR and Oscar. I don't do a lot of RPF shipping personally but your takes on all of them are so intriguing and feel pretty truthful. I feel like fandom ignores that it hasn't all been smooth sailing with Lando and his teammates and want to know what you think about the less rose-tinted side of that?

okay so jsyk I always end up a little rose-tinted even when talking about non-RPF Lando relationships but I like to hope I stay truthful in terms of not inventing any kind of sexual/dating/etc narrative that just doesn't exist. and I'm afraid I'm about to go insane in my response so hopefully you don't mind that either lol.

also @twinkodium is so much better at timelines than I am so pls can you add your part to this if you get a chance??

so just to establish which I think we all know: Lando has a tendency to take his warm heart out of his chest and hold it up to anyone who seems even remotely kind or friendly. yes, he's got a bite to him and a temper but honestly that's all also part of being far too open to people. if a person - especially other men and boys - show him even a hint of affection or camaraderie then he's all in immediately. especially as the youngest driver on the grid for so many years.

truly, I think Carlos and Daniel didn't know what to do when Lando put his little beating heart into their big, clumsy hands. the fact that the level of openness and devotion they got - immediately - from Lando was so much down to Lando's insecurity in F1 and how much he was dealing with mentally, was way too much for two guys who honestly only expect to have a laugh sometimes with their teammate. maybe be chummy enough to hang out sometimes and make media responsibilities less tedious.

and Lando was so happy to be the adoring satellite, shrieking with laughter over all their jokes in exchange for him latching securely onto an established F1 personality. but Carlos and Daniel were running the show while they were his teammates - they were the entertainment and Lando was sort of a conduit for the adoring fans. and what's interesting is I think that we can pretty visibly see the turn with each of them where Lando came thudding down to that realization himself. that he would have to change his own ideas about friendship with both of them in order to remain friends at all. there's the infamous 2020 carlando "breakup" gifset (here) where Lando's face just sours at Carlos in his traitorous blood red suit making some offhand comment

and Lando cuts such a wide berth from him that it puts two whole people between them. by the time Lando reaches the reporters waiting at the media pen, his face looks gray and set

and it's like damn, we straight up witnessed Lando standing up for himself and setting up some boundaries with Carlos.

the moments with Daniel were more scattered but you could see them when Daniel was doing his usual attempts at the bromance thing and sometimes Lando was just. not. having it. there's the moment in particular of Daniel coming up behind him and hooking his chin over Lando's shoulder and oh. you can feel the coolness coming off Lando bc he's genuinely going through something and needs a friend, not another performance for the cameras.

ohhhh and the response of "no one" when asked who his best friend was on the grid was before casting around a bit and finally saying Carlos. parallel that to his irritated dismissal of the journalist pushing for carlando in Vegas and reminding them that none of these guys are his real friends they're his F1 buddies and he "hates them" when racing them. by the time 2023 rolled around Lando grew up, set up boundaries and will only give what he chooses to his friendships with Carlos and Daniel. which is overall so much healthier and has probably ensured that those friendship didn't die out completely. but they're not what they once were for him. Carlos and Daniel are allowed to visit the garden of Eden that is being fully intimate with Lando - but the gates always shut behind them when it’s time to leave.

genuinely I don't blame Carlos or even Daniel (even if I don't like a lot about him) bc literally neither of them has ever had a friend like Lando - and probably don't know any guy like him. and they're both such Typical Dudes - as well as being fully a different generation to Lando - so how were they supposed to know a sensitive, naive kid like this would be in F1 let alone their teammate? guys they know never butterfly themselves open to other guys except for extremely long term friendships - if even then. Lando above all wants to have a good heart and he just trusts people, and while it makes men absolutely crazy about him it's surely got to get him hurt a lot. you can even see it with his media pen work where he reacts to difficult questions or fairly open hostility with a wide disarming smile because he'd rather bring someone round than openly fight with them. even Daniel who definitely utilizes his smile to dominate and disarm can still easily be baited into hostility compared to Lando. but when someone persists in being a twat to Lando, he just closes off with that cold, sour look and bam. that moron just lost themselves any access to the garden of Eden.

and I'm not saying we know enough about Oscar to say that Lando's heart is definitely safe with him, but the absolutely huge difference is that Oscar came into being his teammate fully aware of who Lando is and he was willing to hold back and be content just being a teammate and let a friendship develop if Lando felt so inclined. *hint: this sign of respect and deference will be significant!

like we saw how they fell into this twinning thing at first where Oscar would mirror Lando a lot of the time - out of nerves but also deference. then as the season went on and the car still struggled, they developed sort of a tentative camaraderie born out of equally blighted hopes.

but what's really interesting is how much Silverstone was truly the turning point and not even in a fandom goggles sense. I isolated the following moments out in a video below: there's this hilarious little moment right before the fan stage where Oscar is asking Lando something like 'what's that (playing)?' and Lando seems to think Oscar is referring to the (very obvious) crowd noise and Oscar goes "no not them you idiot the song!" and it goes back and forth wayyy too long for the brain cells I would like to assume they have before they finally work out between them what song is playing.

and Lando had by the time of the fan stage momentarily set aside his own euphoria and positively showered Oscar with praise at press briefing after the race. he also repeated it at the fan stage in front of Oscar for good measure! and clearly loves it when Oscar says how he was rooting for Lando leading the race at one point.

then, like something out of a movie, as they're posing for the photo in front of the crowd, Oscar slips that arm around Lando's waist and urges him closer and you can see the whole of every thought on Lando's face. the look of surprise as Oscar's strong arm jostles his body a little, the blossoming delight, the 'woah is he really initiating this? he never does this!', and finally the big beaming smile as he wraps his arm around Oscar and settles in.

and just a few races later when Lando has another podium under his belt and has qualified 2nd at the Dutch GP, there's this other movie moment where it suddenly clicks for Lando… Oscar will always show up for him no matter what. not just when they're both doing well or both struggling, he'll always show up for Lando. out loud and where everyone can see but without a hint of performance to it.

and when you scroll through @piastrisms wonderful post-race gif compilations, you can see that dynamic shift even more to the suddenly much more tentative but openly kind of 'crushing' on each other. Oscar starts to let himself think that maybe, just maybe! the Lando of his 8-year social media obsession really likes Oscar for who he is and not just as a team obligation! this leads to him taking a few more risks during the McLaren challenges and by the time they film the beloved Austin material, Oscar has actually started to surprise Lando. from there on you can see Oscar's relief at making Lando really laugh and smile build his confidence right at the exact same time that Lando looks thrown off center and his boundaries start falling away. that mirroring they used to do started to build into trusting each other, which then led to them genuinely liking each other, and then mutually wanting to stay together as teammates. and isn't that level of security something new for Lando!

and you know what I noticed in all this that has me frothing and biting? that instead of Lando handing his beating heart over to his teammates and having it bruised and withdrawn? with Oscar, it's been the exact opposite. Lando had finally decided to be cautious from the start and keep this new anomaly teammate at arm's length - and for a while felt relieved bc the anomaly turned out to be so damn competent and quick! *oh and the anomaly was showing a level of respect and deference that Lando was not at all used to, which was so very nice but also ?? was the anomaly a little bit cold toward him ?? but then Silverstone happened and dawn broke. we finished the season out with Lando actually looking to Oscar for affirmations and wriggling excitedly and looking at Oscar with that wide-open expression on his face and Lando clearly beginning to wonder if maybe his sacred heart might fit comfortably in Oscar's hands that are smaller and gentler than the other men he's known on the grid? maybe how much more steady and careful and devoted Oscar is when it comes to his racing is reflected in how he has treated Lando, so unlike the usual "Lando effect" bromances that get all the attention and that the cameras and fans eat up. maybe the big, traditional handsome alphas and their big displays of affection are one kind of friend for Lando but perhaps not so good as a teammate. and maybe a friendship that grows too steadily and quietly for networks and social media teams to take much of an interest is another kind of friend, and maybe just the right kind of teammate.

Hey there! I'm glad that your back and I hope everything goes OK with everything you've went through and big hugs from me!

I hope you don't mind a fluffy request of Poseidon falling in love with a fire goddess and teaching their children how to swim years later.

Lots of love and hugs from a big fan!!

-He was definitely not the first god on your list that you would think would ever propose to you, but Poseidon shocked not only you, but a lot of people, including his brothers.

-He was taken by you- seeing your warm radiance wherever you seemed to go- and unlike other fire deities, you had good control over your temper…sometimes.

-Poseidon adored that you were more levelheaded, you were calm but also warm and cheerful, the opposite of him, as he was cold and stoic, and that’s what drew him to you, and despite your very different abilities, the two of you were so happy together and you made things work.

-Many envied the both of you, as both of you were very highly sought after- both of you being visions of perfection, but more envy arose when the two of you started dating- you looked so perfect together!! It wasn’t fair!!

-Poseidon had no issues lording that over others- being smug about it and not hesitating a millisecond to tell those who are beneath the two of you that he was the only one worthy of you and you were the only one worthy of him.

-You were less antagonistic with talking about your relationship, something many admired you for, but also wanted you to take Poseidon down a few pegs.

-Your relationship leading into your marriage was quite literally, steamy, as the two of you seemed to create steam no matter where you went, your powers working off each other, but you both learned how to live with it early one, while others weren’t so enthusiastic, as the two of you always made things humid and muggy.

-Poseidon had to learn how to survive your mood swings once you became pregnant- gone was his level-headed (for the most part) wife and was replaced with a vicious woman who wouldn’t hesitate to raise Valhalla to the ground if you didn’t get your peanut butter and ice cream right then and there!

-Luckily the mood swings only lasted about two months, and Poseidon was able to keep them at bay using cuddles and lots of affection.

-As king he was cold, calculating, and a highly respected leader, but as a husband and soon to be father, he was so attentive of you- if you called for him, he wouldn’t hesitate to abandon whatever he was in the middle of doing to be by your side, even if you just wanted to hug him because you missed him.

-When your children were born, twins, one boy and one girl, he became an even better father, doting on them so you could rest, you did all the hard work, now it was time for him to pull his own weight around.

-Poseidon was hesitant about his children having nannies, who would assist during the first few years of his children’s lives, but learned to grow used to them, as he could dismiss them for the day if he or you were going to tend to your children.

-Your daughter was the spitting image of her father, but had your warm and bubbly personality, while your son looked more like you and acted just like his father, but just like his father, he was only soft around you and his twin.

-Once your children were old enough, five was the age you and your husband agreed on, the four of you went to the beach, Poseidon’s private beach and you set up a picnic under a large umbrella while Poseidon and your children went out into the water.

-Both were excited to finally learn how to swim, both taking after their father for the love of water. Poseidon taught them how to stretch appropriately before teaching the basics on how to float and tread water.

-Your son was a natural with floating but not as good with treading while your daughter was the opposite, having troubles staying upright while floating and treading like an expert.

-You smiled warmly, watching the three of them playing in the water, Poseidon holding onto each of their hands, one at a time, teaching them how to kick their legs and propel themselves.

-You couldn’t help but giggle as you had three fish by the time you called them back to shore for lunch, all three racing to get back to you first.

-Your kids pouted as daddy stuck his tongue out at them as he won, getting to hug you first which made you giggle, pecking his cheek gently as his reward before your kids plowed him down, knocking him away from you before rushing into your arms, hell bent on keeping him away from you.

-As you gave them all their lunch you couldn’t help but smile softly, basking in the happiness of your small family, warmth surrounding the four of you.

-Poseidon took a drink as you spoke, “Oh I almost forgot- the two of you are going to have a little brother or sister soon.” He immediately spat out his drink, looking at you as your daughter leapt into your arms, “Really?!” you couldn’t help but smile as the two men were stunned stiff at the news, but you could tell they were happy.

Got any Farah, Valeria, & Laswell hcs? Anything, really- I'm dying for my girls 🤲🤲🤲

Hello! Yeah, I was able to come up with a few! I already wrote a few for Valeria here! Somehow, I forgot to put them in my masterlist, though, which I have since fixed! Thank you for making me aware of this, though :-) These are general Headcanons, though, since I had an easier time coming up with those and because you didn't specify, I hope that's okay!

Valeria, Farah and Laswell HCs

Valeria: She’s always had quite the temper, even when she was young. While she may not have been spoiled to hell and back as a child, she usually got what she wanted, as long as it wasn’t something extraordinarily big, her parents always took care of her like that. Valeria loved her mother, they got along very well with each other, and she also took after her, having inherited her personality for the most part. Her father was a bit calmer than the two of them, but that didn’t mean they didn’t get along either. Whereas her mother would encourage her to do most things, her father would try to talk sense into her if it was a bad idea. She often sulked because of it, which is why she didn’t like her father as much as her mother, but as she got older she realized he meant well. Sometimes she still thinks about his advice, but the both of them died a long time ago, so most things they’ve told her are a distant memory by now. Valeria may be successful with what she’s doing and doesn’t like being told what to do, but sometimes she does wish she could still eat some sweets with her parents like she used to.

Joining the military actually wasn’t her first choice of career. She tried many places, but no one would take her, so she opted for the military, which welcomed her with open arms. She got paid. Not well, but she received the money, which was important since her parents couldn’t leave her with too much. They didn’t have very much either, so there wasn’t much to be inherited. Because she’s a woman, a few creeps tried to harass her, but she had none of it and beat all three of them up herself and on her own. Ever since that incident she wasn’t a big fan of the military either, but no other place would take her. However, it showed just how capable she was and earned her a lot of respect. A few other men would try to make advances towards her, but she shot them down every time. However, whenever another female soldier would jokingly flirt with her, that’s when she’d give it her all, making it her goal to fluster her beyond all hell. She’s spent a few evenings and nights with a few female soldiers, but was always willing to rip a male soldier’s dick off if he was being too friendly with her. During her time as a soldier she also realized that she preferred women.

She didn’t always hate Alejandro, actually. Back in the day, they got along very well. He was a man, yes, but he had enough respect for her. It wasn’t a given, even if it should have been, but she appreciated it. Whenever they sparred he gave it his all as well and never looked down on her. In his eyes, the two of them were equals and it showed. Valeria could appreciate that. She liked him, she spent a night with him but realized she hated that sort of stuff with men. He was the final realization for her that Valeria does not like men. It didn’t make her hate him at first, though. Only when he insisted on the two of them being a thing did she develop some form of disdain for him. Once she told him that she could never feel the same way, he stopped. However, he also started treating her a bit differently since he was in love with her. As he rose in ranks, he was a bit harsher on her than the other soldiers, usually dissatisfied with anything she did. He didn’t even notice that, but Valeria did. Therefore he became just another scum to her.

Farah: Before her town got attacked, she actually had a pretty happy childhood. She was sweet and kind as a kid, she got along well with her parents and her brother and she had a few close friends. Farah loved going outside to play, sometimes even inviting her parents to make potions with her in a bucket filled with water, sand and rocks. Her parents were always afraid of the Russians invading and tried to keep their children safe regardless of what happened, but in the end they were unable to. It hit Farah pretty hard, she loved her parents. Even now she misses them dearly since they always took such good care of her and her brother. At least she still had her brother. Farah knew she was the younger one out of the two of them, so she likely should have been the one to be protected, but once her town got attacked she became determined to make sure her brother would stay with her. Drastic times called for drastic measures, so she actually has killed people just so her brother could stay alive. It was around that time that other people realized how she was a very caring person still and could be trusted. Slowly, through that realization, she was able to gather a small force that could help her.

Farah is a pretty good leader. The people she works with adore her because, under that rough exterior, she’s still a good person. All her brothers and sisters know she can be trusted with just about anything. She rarely ever says no upon hearing a request of one of her people, knowing fully well what it’s like to need something. As she’s been through a lot herself, she always has an open ear for her brothers and sisters. While there’s not always time to listen to everyone’s concerns, if she does have time she’ll listen to you intently. Farah knows a lot more about her people than she lets on, that ranges from how the latest battle has gone to how her sister’s family is doing. She’s never one to turn down someone in need, always offering food and shelter. I know she may seem stern, because she has to be in order to be a good leader, but deep down she’s still the same kind girl that she’s always been. Her people would give up just about anything for her, and they do. One day, Farah dreams, Urzikstan will be free, it will be safe and it will prosper, its people won’t have anything to fear anymore. Trade will continue, the people will be happy and she can finally lay down her weary head and rest for a bit. But until then, she swore she’ll fight and fight until everything is finally over.

She’s never actually been in love. When she had the chance to develop a crush she was too young. Now that she’s older she doesn’t have time for anything lovey dovey in the slightest. Alex was the first person she ever developed a crush on. He may have seemed like an enemy at first, but it quickly enough became evident that that couldn’t be further from the truth. He was a good man, someone who could be trusted no matter what. He was loyal to a fault as well, which Farah could appreciate. However, she never told him, swallowing her feelings down instead no matter how intense they became. Yet, she sort of did always look forward to his small gestures of affection. Alex is a physically affectionate guy, so he’d sometimes pat her shoulder, put a hand on her shoulder or gently bump her arm to show he liked her. Farah is severely touch starved, so it made for a good combination. One time, he asked if she would like a hug, to which she said yes. To this day, Farah thinks about that hug since it was the first one she had received in seven or eight years. It may not have seemed like she was swayed at the time, but she was very content afterwards.

Laswell: Laswell’s parents didn’t really care too much for her. Don’t get me wrong, they provided for her physical needs, but they barely looked after her in any other regard, thinking she was happy because she had everything she could ever need. Laswell may have been strong because of it, even then, but she did wish her parents had cared more about other things as well, such as how she was doing emotionally. There were quite a few things that hurt her during her childhood, but she barely had anyone who would support her during her rough times. Her parents only ever wanted to see her happy and content, but barely made any effort to actually keep her as such. Laswell knew fairly early on that she was a lesbian and did come out to her parents, but that’s all that happened. It was never discussed again afterwards, even if her father would sometimes say that she would “find the right guy eventually” while talking to other people. Laswell has called him out on it numerous times, but he always made it about him and how he was the victim for saying something that made his daughter uncomfortable. Laswell didn’t stay in contact with her parents for very long once she moved out.

Even back when she was a child, Laswell knew she wanted to do something more exciting than be a hairdresser, waitress or cook. She wanted to do something with plenty of action, but at the same time she wanted to study and go to university. And thus she combined her wishes and started going to university at first. Afterwards, sometime in her twenties, she started to work for the CIA. She wasn’t treated with very much respect there at first, being a woman working there and all. But she didn’t let that disrespect get her down. In fact, on the outside, she stayed professional, but on the inside she took mental notes on who treated her badly and who didn’t. It soon enough became evident that Laswell knew what she was doing, even if her master’s degree should have been proof enough that there was some intelligence in that noggin of hers. However, soon enough she was transferred. In fact, she was transferred many times before she became a station chief, but it only showed just how competent she was in her field. Laswell has since saved thousands of lives and is proud of it. To her, such a thing is her calling and she wants to continue doing so for as long as she can, all the dangers be damned.

Laswell adores her wife. In fact, “Laswell” isn’t her original last name, she took that of her wife. At first they played with the idea of combining their names, but Laswell wanted fairly little to do with her parents at that point. Plus she wanted to show her father that she never “found the right guy”. So her being named Laswell is purely out of spite. While she may not be at home all the time, or very often, for that matter, she makes sure to bring her wife a gift every time she comes home. It can be something small, such as a souvenir she found while she was abroad, or it could be something along the lines of a golden ring that unfolds into an astronomical sphere. She needs to pamper her wife like that and make sure she knows Laswell loves her to the moon and back. Money isn’t an issue for her, she gets paid very well. Even if the biggest reward for her doing what she does is seeing her wife smile. Every time she sees her give her a big smile she’s reminded of why she does what she does, and that’s the most wonderful thing for her. Even so, not many people know about Laswell’s wife, only a select few do. It’s a safety measure since she knows people will target her. Although she’s a diplomatic kind of person, if anyone ever were to hurt her wife, then that person can be certain they’ll never walk freely among the sunlight again.

Tonight at Eight

Both Pigsy and Tang have blind dates tonight at eight, and there surely isn't anything suspicious about that at all

Ao3 Link

Pigsy dried off a chili-sauce stained bowl with a well worn washcloth and an eye heavy on the clock. It was barely 3:00 pm, but all Pigsy could think about was how he was closing up shop around 6:30 for a very, very important… date.

Heavens, it felt so embarrassing to admit to himself. Here he was, ill-tempered Pigsy, owner of the well-loved business Pigsy’s Noodles, father of a five-year-old, someone fully convinced his life had ended ten years ago, going on a date.

It felt childish, and it didn’t help that he’d basically dropped the idea of romance and love since Sandy–

No, he wasn’t going to think about that. He had something good to look forward to for once, and he wasn’t going to let the past ruin it… yet. Maybe. Who knows?

Pigsy sighed, adding the bowl to the clean pile and scolding himself for acting like such a teenager. He had work to do.

“You alright, Pigsy?” Tang asked innocently from his place at the bar.

Pigsy went to answer, but instead his grandmother laughed from the booth where she and Xiaotian were sitting.

“Jiejie is planning on closing early today for a ‘special event’.” She grinned at her grandson, who felt like he could just die at this point, but decided scrubbing the grill would be more productive.

“What? Psh, that’s impossible! Everyone knows Pigsy would rather die than close before ten,” Tang teased with a cheeky grin that made the chef roll his eyes.

“Bullying is reserved for family or paying customers, Tang,” Pigsy retorted.

“I’ll pay his tab then, Jiejie. Goodness knows that boy needs some meat on his bones.” His grandmother snorted and Tang turned pink, all while Xiaotian giggled.

“So– um–” Tang cleared his throat to ease off the embarrassment, “What’s this ‘special event’?”

His grandmother scoffed again and joined Tang by the bar, which Xiaotian was quick to follow with his crayons and coloring book in tow. “Good luck getting an answer out of him. He won’t even tell me.”

Pigsy rolled his eyes. “Can’t a man have privacy anymore?”

“Ahhhh, but if you don’t tell me, what will I talk about with the ladies at mahjong?” His grandmother shook her head, which made Xiaotian giggle more.

“Oh, does that mean it's something embarrassing?” Tang fully hopped onto the teasing bandwagon.

“No, it just means it’s personal, is all,” Pigsy huffed, eyeing a customer as they walked in, and made his way to the register.

Tang laughed before his eyes went to his book. “Well, if it helps, I’m going to do something totally stupid and embarrassing tonight too.”

At that, Pigsy’s grandmother’s eyes lit up, and she took Tang’s hands into hers. “Like what? Dancing? One of those American rodeos? What?”

“Ah, well–”

“Sir? I’m ready to order,” said the woman across the cashier, and Pigsy shook his head to focus.

“Right, right– what can I get for you?” he forced a customer-friendly smile.

The woman ordered some beef chow fun, and by the time Pigsy started cooking again, Tang was on the brink of a confession.

“Come on, after all the meals I’ve bought for you? To support that big brain of yours? It’s bad enough little Jiejie is acting like his father right now.” She shot a dramatic glare at the chef, before turning back to Tang. “Must you add to my pile of old-womanly misery?”

“Alright, alright, fine. I’m… Heavens, this really is stupid, Miss Xiahui.” Tang covered his face with his hands before taking a breath. “I’m… going on a blind date with someone I’ve never met, and I don’t know what they look like, or what their name is, or literally anything else. I’m going to get murdered, aren’t I?” Tang blurted out, making the chef’s grandmother laugh.

“I’m very excited for you, dear! You know, I’ve been trying to get Jiejie to sign up for one of those ever since he dumped Wujing, but does he take my advice? No!” She gave an exasperated sigh.

“Not true. I opened up this place because of you,” Pigsy retorted from where he stood by the stove.

“Oh, sure, but when it comes to clothes or photos or vacations or even a park I think Xiaotian would like it’s all ‘oh that’s too far,’ or, ‘I’m dressed fine’ or even, ‘this makes me look ancient’,” she snipped right back.

“I know you never left the forties, Lǎolao, but the rest of the world has.” Pigsy rolled his eyes.

His grandmother sighed again. “You see what I put up with Tang? No respect! And I actually deserve it, unlike some people.”

“R-right! Well– at least no matter what, we know that my night’s plans are definitely more embarrassing than Pigsy’s, so…” Tang fiddled with his sleeves like he always did when he was nervous.

“A night of romance is nothing to be embarrassed about. Why, my late husband used to take me out dancing at this old French-style café– I think it was destroyed by the Red Guard though, which is a real shame, you know, it was the romantic spot in the city.” She sighed dreamily.

“That sounds wonderful, Miss Xiahui. My date and I are just meeting at this one restaurant by the park” Tang smiled and got back to his noodles.

“If I didn’t know you any better, I’d say you’re ruining your appetite,” Pigsy’s grandmother chuckled.

“Can’t let him know I’m a complete mess, right?” Tang laughed pathetically.

Pigsy rolled his eyes and teased, “Don’t be so hard on yourself. I think it’s fascinating you can eat so much and manage to keep that whole ‘starving Victorian orphan’ look.”

Tang snorted. “Thanks.”

Pigsy winked and laughed before going back to check on how the noodles were doing.

“Oh, don’t mind Jiejie, he’s just jealous because he hasn’t had a date in six years.” The elderly woman patted Tang’s knee.

“For your information, I actually do have a date, and it's tonight, so you can cut out that whole teasing routine,” Pigsy quipped without thinking, and he could practically hear his Lǎolao’s jaw drop and eyes sparkle.

“You have a date tonight too?! Oh, this is just wonderful! Who’s the lucky person? Are they rich? Do they know you have your own business? Have you gone out with them before? Were they cute? Why wouldn’t you tell me about them! Jiejie, how could you not tell me you’ve been dating someone–! Are they actually ugly, and you were embarrassed to tell me? Look, it’s okay, Jiejie, sometimes it really is what’s on the inside that–”

“Lǎolǎo, please.” Pigsy turned and pleaded with her, pouring the customer’s noodles into a bowl and adding the vegetables.

“Oh, Jiejie, I’m just so happy for you, is all! My sweet little sunzi out in the world again! Maybe you can even find little Xiaotian a mother or another father! Oh, wouldn’t that just be lovely.” His grandmother hugged the coloring child, who looked around in confusion.

“Lǎolao, you’re going to crush the kid.” Pigsy’s face was dark red as he rang the counter’s bell and called out the order.

“Come on, I need some answers here. You know how boring my life has gotten since retirement,” his grandmother pleaded.

“Not much to say. It’s the first date, and I haven’t met them, either. Also, I thought you said you understood that I’m not Xiaotian’s–... you know,” Pigsy looked away as the customer took their food.

“Oh? A double blind date! Isn’t that lovely.” Lǎolao clapped her hands, completely ignoring his comment about Xiaotian. “Where to?”

“Some place they recommended.” Pigsy shrugged. “I don’t know much about it, but I don’t get out much.”

“Oh, this is so exciting! I almost wish I could tag along with both of you, but I have to take care of this little monkey man.” His grandmother smiled at Xiaotian and began to tickle him, filling the restaurant with loud squeals of delight.

Pigsy rolled his eyes with a chuckle, going to wash some dishes in the sink when he noticed Tang looking at him, tilting his head curiously. “What’s up?”

“Oh–! Nothing! I just– a date, huh? That’s huge, congrats.” The scholar smiled softly.

“Ah, it’s no big deal, really. I just… I don’t know. Heck, I don’t even know why I agreed to do this whole ‘blind date’ thing. It’s so strange not even knowing the person’s name,” Pigsy confessed.

“Hear you there. But in a way, I think that makes it easier to get to know them, you know? No images, fake names, it’s… comforting, in a way. Especially with the whole ‘background check’ feature so you know it’s less likely for anyone to be a serial killer, haha,” Tang rambled.

“Yeah, I guess that’s part of the reason I signed up too. I mean– that, and because I seriously never go out. Not that I necessarily want to go out more, but you know what I mean.” Pigsy snorted.

Tang laughed. “I do.”

Pigsy smiled before shaking his head and getting to those dishes.

“So… what’s your mystery person like?” Tang asked after a minute of dishwashing.

“Oh– well, you know… they seem real smart and stuff,” Pigsy hesitated to admit, glad to stay facing the sink, so Tang couldn’t see how red his face was becoming. “They’re kinda poetic too, but not in a traditional sense. I don’t even know if they know just how smart they are, it seems kinda natural to them. I dunno.”

“Oh, interesting.” He heard Tang laugh nervously. “I hope you have fun.”

After his face stopped feeling so hot, Pigsy finally asked, “What about you? What’s your mystery man like?”

“He’s really super sweet and considerate, you know? Not very technological, but– heavens, he always knows what to say. He’s also super funny and snarky, and he makes me feel all smart and important, which is crazy because like– it’s just me.” Tang blushed and looked down at his bowl. “He has no idea I’m practically broke. I’m kind of scared to bring it up, you know? Like– ‘hey, let’s go to dinner! Oh, and by the way I can’t afford anything so it’s all on you!’” Tang sighed. “I should probably just cancel…”

“What?! You can’t do that,” Pigsy immediately protested, getting his grandmother’s attention once more.

“What are you two talking about now?” She looked back and forth between the two of them.

“I was– ummm… considering canceling my… date?” Tang gave a sheepish smile, and Pigsy’s grandmother smacked him upside the head.

“Shǎchā! You are not doing that!” She scolded the scholar.

“Wha–?! Why not? I’m flat broke. I can’t even buy a garden salad,” Tang huffed, resting his elbows on the bar.

“So?” Pigsy snorted. “The payment is being lucky enough to enjoy your company, nothing more and nothing less. If he doesn’t accept, run out of the restaurant. Take his wallet if you can. Make him pay.”

Tang laughed. “That’s easy for you to say, anyone would be lucky to date a five-star chef.”

Pigsy rolled his eyes. “I am not a five-star chef–”

His grandmother interrupted him with a scoff. “My recipes are much better than anything that can be found in those froufrou places with the marble floors and glass ceilings– especially with your additions, Jiejie.”

“Gotta agree with your grandmother, Pigsy. Your recipes are one of a kind and anyone would be lucky to go out with a chef as amazing and talented as you.” Tang smiled with so much earnestness it made Pigsy’s cheeks flush again.

“Well, I think anyone’d be lucky to go out with anyone half as smart as you,” Pigsy countered, making Tang hide in his scarf a bit.

His grandmother had something of a smug look on her face when Pigsy glanced at her, but she quickly cleared her throat and started talking to Xiaotian about his drawing. The chef sighed, shaking his head and vowing to one day fully understand that woman.

“So… what time are you closing?” Tang ventured to ask.

“Around 6:30 to try and get some of that dinner rush money before kickin’ everyone out,” Pigsy glanced at the clock yet again.

“Smart. I’ll have to leave around 6 anyway to get ready and all too.” Tang fidgeted with his scarf.

“You going to want another bowl before then?” Pigsy couldn’t help but smirk a little.

“Har-har,” Tang rolled his eyes. “... but yeah, maybe.”

Pigsy laughed. “Don’t stress yourself, it’s a big day for us both.”

“Right, yeah.” The scholar smiled before going back to his current bowl.

Again, Pigsy’s grandmother looked amused at this, but when Pigsy looked, she acted like nothing was wrong and started complimenting Xiaotian’s drawing again.

Pigsy sighed, focusing back on his work as customers began to pour in once more. The chef managed to hold a steady pace that kept him fairly busy, though not busy enough to forget to make Tang another bowl of lo mein he teased him about. Tang ate, Xiaotian colored (even showed a handful to Pigsy when he could), his grandmother gossiped about some of the mahjong ladies, and overall it was a pretty solid work day. He wished Tang the best of luck on his way out, and wished some of that for himself when he closed the restaurant.

“So, you really are going on a date, aren’t you?” His grandmother teased as Pigsy locked the iron security shield.

Pigsy rolled his eyes. “I appreciate your trust in my honesty.”

“I’m just making sure before I get my hopes up. Heaven knows this only happens once in a blue moon,” she teased, making Xiaotian giggle.

“What’re you laughing at, mister?” Pigsy put his hands on his hips dramatically, making the kid laugh more.

“He’s laughing at the fact that you haven’t been on a date since before he was born, isn’t that right, my little dumpling?” Lǎolao pinched his cheeks, which made him whine and go behind Pigsy.

“Lǎolao–”

“I know, I know. It’s not my fault he’s as cute as a button, you know,” She defended herself before Pigsy rolled his eyes again and picked the kid up.

“Miss Xiahui is a lot like my mother, you know? No respect for boundaries. I’m so sorry you have to spend all night with her,” Pigsy apologized dramatically.

“S’okay! She lets me have cookies.” Xiaotian grinned wide, making the chef immediately give his grandmother a look.

“I’ve already told you it’s not my fault he’s so cute.” His grandmother raised her hands in defeat, making the chef roll his eyes yet again.

“If he gets cavities, you’re paying the dentist bill,” Pigsy huffed and started walking home.

“He’s not going to get cavities, Jiejie. Xiaotian knows how to brush his teeth very well, don’t you, dear?” Lǎolao patted the boy’s head as he nodded.

“Right,” Pigsy said. “Let’s just get home.”

“Yes, yes! We have to get you good and ready for your date! Oh, I’m so excited.” Lǎolao had dropped the teasing for genuine elation. “You know, I think if I looked I could find one of your grandfather’s old suits. Oh, you’d look just so handsome in it.”

“Oh, wow, Lǎolao, that’s really not–”

“Necessary? Of course it is! Tonight is a momentous occasion and I want my grandson to look his absolute best.” She ignored his protest and practically marched the rest of the way to their apartment.

Pigsy gave a nice, long sigh. “You’re gonna have a long night, kid.”

“No bedtime?” Xiaotian’s face lit up.

“Who knows.” Pigsy snorted and picked up the pace to follow his grandmother (who, for someone in their 80s, was rather spritely).

When they got home, his grandmother quickly pulled out old boxes and had him try on three suits before finally finding a Western Style from the 40s. His grandmother also gave him gold square cufflinks, as well as a blue and pink floral tie. He managed to at the very least convince her to let him wear his own socks and shoes, and after she spritzed him down with peach perfume, the look was finished.

“Lǎolao, you don’t have to do this, my suit is plenty good,” Pigsy pointed out as his grandmother straightened out his suit coat, looking like she was going to cry.

“No, no. You look absolutely perfect.” She smiled, finally stepping back to admire her work. “Your date will absolutely love you.”

“Lǎolao.” Pigsy’s face turned tomato red.

His grandmother chuckled. “I suppose we could use a third opinion.” She tapped her chin, before calling Xiaotian in from the living room, and in a moment, the five-year-old pattered over. “Xiaotian, do you think Pigsy looks nice?”

Xiaotian gave two thumbs up and a toothy grin. “Fancy!”

“See? You look perfect.” His grandmother smiled and patted Xiaotian’s head.

“I never said I looked bad, I’m just saying it’s– it’s a lot, and I really don’t know if I need Waigong’s suit–”

“Nonsense, Bajie. He’d want you to have it.” His grandmother cupped Pigsy’s cheek.

“It’s… a blind date from an anonymous chat site, Lǎolao. I really don’t think–”

“You never know, Jiejie. You could be meeting the love of your life,” She hummed.

“Right… sure,” Pigsy agreed to drop his protests for the sake of not dampening his grandmother’s spirits.

The elder pig demon smiled again, patting Pigsy’s cheek twice. “Now, let me find my camera; I want to capture how handsome you look.” She winked and left the room.

“Lǎolao, I really don’t have time for– never mind.” Pigsy shook his head when he realized she was just going to insist. He sighed, giving himself another once over in the mirror and adjusting his tie.

“You really think this isn’t too much, kid?” Pigsy asked Xiaotian.

The boy shook his head. “You look like a detective!”

Pigsy laughed, realizing Xiaotian was 100% correct. “All I’m missing is the hat, darn.” He snapped his fingers playfully.

“And a gun,” the boy giggled.

“Ahhhhh, that might be a bit much kiddo,” Pigsy chuckled, ruffling the kid’s hair. “You gonna be okay with just Lǎolao tonight?”

Xiaotian nodded. “We’re gonna watch Monkey Empire.”

“Again? Didn’t we just finish that?” Pigsy raised a playful eyebrow.

“Yeah, but I wannaaaaaa,” Xiaotian explained eloquently.

“Fair enough. Just don’t let Lǎolao spoil you too much, alright? And make sure you brush your teeth extra good, and put all your toys away for her. I’ll check on you as soon as I get back,” Pigsy said, fixing the kid’s hair since he just messed it up.

“Okie dokie, Piggy.” The boy grinned again.

“Found it!” Pigsy’s grandmother finally called from the other room, and she was back in a flash.

“Oh, you just look so handsome, I could eat you right up, you know that? Your date is a very, very lucky man,” the woman chuckled as she took a photo, not even waiting for him to pose or smile.

“‘Man’? I don’t know their gender,” Pigsy pointed out, but she just waved her hand and snapped another photo.

“Xiaotian, go join Bajie, I want to get my two favorite, most handsome boys together,” she instructed and Xiaotian ran to Pigsy. The chef scooped him up and they both smiled for the camera.

After a few photos were taken, Pigsy glanced at the clock and said, “Alright, are we done? I’m gonna be late soon.”

“Yes, yes, you can go,” His grandmother sighed dramatically– though snapped another photo anyway.

Pigsy rolled his eyes, setting Xiaotian back down before kneeling to his level.

“You promise to be good for Lǎolao?” He asked the five-year-old, who nodded seriously. “Good. I’ll see you later tonight, kiddo.” The chef smiled and stood before Xiaotian grabbed his pant leg.

“I’ll miss you,” Xiaotian whispered, and Pigsy… wasn’t quite sure how to respond to that.

“I’ll… be back soon, kid. Don’t stress yourself,” he finally said, patting the kid on the head again.

“Besides,” Lǎolao said, getting the kid to look at her, “you have a very fun night planned with your Lǎolao, and we’re going to have lots of fun, aren’t we, Xiaotian?”

“Yeah! We’ll watch Monkey King!” The kid grinned once more, making the elder pig demon chuckle.

“We most certainly will. And we’ll eat lots of cookies and candy and break lots of Bajie’s silly rules,” his grandmother enabled the kid’s natural desire for rebellion.

“You’re killing me, you know that?” Pigsy half-joked, arms crossed.

“It’s what keeps me young,” Lǎolao teased right back.

“Right.” Pigsy rolled his eyes. “Well, I gotta get going so–”

“WAIT!” Xiaotian suddenly shouted, running out of the room, while Pigsy and his grandmother just looked at each other in confusion. They didn’t have to wait long, though, as Xiaotian was back in the matter of seconds with a drawing in his hand.

“For luck!” He explained, handing it over.

Pigsy accepted the offering, laughing when he saw it was a very crude drawing of Xiaotian, Pigsy’s grandmother, Tang, and himself all eating noodles at the restaurant with even cruder hearts everywhere.

“I love it, kid. I’ll put it right here for safe keeping,” Pigsy complimented, folding the drawing so it fit right by his pocket square, which made Xiaotian so happy that, before Pigsy could prepare himself, the kid hugged him.

“Have fun!” Xiaotian grinned nice and big before stepping back and waving.

“I will.” Pigsy waved a little and headed to the door.

“Yes, have lots of fun! I expect to hear about tonight in great detail tomorrow!” His grandmother waved as well, to which Pigsy laughed and shook his head before exiting the apartment door and heading out into the night.

.o0o.

Pigsy arrived at the restaurant at exactly 7:57, three minutes early and before his date. The place was classy, but clearly small and not quite known in the public sphere yet. There was no need for a wait or reservation, so Pigsy was taken to an outside table for two by the fountain.

He could see why this mystery person would pick a place like this. It was nice, but hidden away, and not too expensive. His person was sensible and romantic, and this choice was a reflection of that.

Pigsy opened up the website on his phone, telling his date he’d arrived and got a table, before he settled himself down to wait and think (his favorite activity!).

Pigsy was totally going to fuck this night up.

He hadn’t been on a date in years, and even then, the ones he’d had with Wujing were full of personal mistakes he wasn’t keen on repeating. He knew for a fact he was going to sound incredibly stupid, especially in comparison to his eloquent partner, but that was hardly the least of his worries. Maybe he’d get too angry at something, and it would totally freak them out, or he’d bring up Xiaotian, and they’d hate that he had a kid (even though he wasn’t his kid technically, he was just his guardian, but that would also probably scare them away, creating a perfect lose-lose situation). And heavens, that wasn’t even mentioning the fact that there was a good chance Pigsy forgot to even tell them he was a demon– he was so unbelievably stupid like that.

At exactly eight o'clock, the waiter stopped by and dropped off two glasses of water before disappearing. Pigsy tried his best not to chug it immediately, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t get thirsty when he was nervous. To try and force himself not to, he kept tracing the rim of his glass again and again and again, while keeping an eye on the door.

A part of the chef wondered if his date stood him up. There were a handful of people already here; maybe his date had arrived, saw Pigsy, realized their date was a hideous pig demon, and simply slipped away. It certainly wouldn’t be the first time…

No, no. Pigsy had to wait and be rational. He needed to remember the little drawing in his suit pocket reminding him it was all going to be fine, even if it wasn’t fine, and he’d be okay. So instead of completely losing his mind and worrying to death, Pigsy placed a hand against the pocket that held the drawing and took nice, long breaths before taking a casual and normal drink of water.

However, just then, the restaurant’s door flung open, and Pigsy’s heart practically leapt into his throat as he saw–

Tang…???

No… no, yeah, that was Tang all right, panting with his back against a wall before he looked around the space. When he saw Pigsy, the scholar seemed to share the exact same confusion, head tilting, but he eventually approached the lone pig demon.

“Hey, Pigsy… What’re you doing here?” Tang asked, still catching his breath.

“Same as you, I guess,” Pigsy looked at the fountain, face turning red.

“Right, yeah! Man, that’s one hell of a coincidence, isn’t it?” Tang laughed.

Pigsy laughed as well. “Guess there aren’t many romantic spots left in the city.”

“Guess not.” Tang fidgeted with his scarf, looking around the restaurant.

“Your date not here yet?” Pigsy guessed.

Tang shrugged. “They said they were, but I don’t see them anywhere.”

“Maybe they just lied and said they were here when they’re really just on their way, I used to do that all the time.” Pigsy snorted.

“Yeah, maybe,” Tang laughed. “You– uh– don’t mind if I sit here for right now, do you?”

“Be my guest. You could use the water anyway,” Pigsy teased, and Tang graciously accepted the seat and water.

“I just– I don’t know, me and them agreed to meet here at eight, and I planned to be here at eight o’clock sharp, so I just– I don’t know. Maybe they stood me up– god, that would be so embarrassing,” Tang whispered that last bit to himself.

“Hey. Relax. You’re only five minutes late, and they aren’t even here yet. Besides, they’d have to be a complete moron to stand you up, of all people,” Pigsy pointed out.

Tang rolled his eyes with a little smile. “Yeah, yeah, thanks. Where’s your date?”

“Late, probably. Or maybe we’ve both been stood up, wouldn’t that be something?” Pigsy mused.

“Misery does love company,” Tang laughed sadly.

“He’ll show, I’m sure of it.” Pigsy tried his best to sound comforting.

“Thanks. I’m sure yours will too.” Tang did his best too.

Pigsy nodded, pulling out his phone again and checking to see if they’d messaged him yet, but he was greeted with the exact same screen as minutes before.

He sighed.

“So, you said your date picked this place?” Tang asked out of the blue.

“Uh– yeah. I’ve never been.” Pigsy shrugged.

“I’ve only been here once or twice, but their mango pudding is to die for; though, it’s not as good as yours or your grandmother’s,” Tang stated like it was obvious.

“Funny, my date recommended the mango pudding too. Must be really popular,” Pigsy recalled.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if it was, it’s amazing.” Tang fidgeted with his scarf again before pulling out his phone. “Though, I gotta ask– why would you agree to a restaurant? You always hate eating out?”

“It was a very persuasive review.” Pigsy snorted. “Besides, I didn’t wanna sound like a hard ass or anything, and it's not like I had any better ideas.”

“I’m sure that’s not true,” the scholar assured, typing something.

Pigsy sighed, looking around the restaurant at other couples drinking wine and being all couple-y, when his phone suddenly buzzed in his pocket.

ShiningAnthropod_Admirer: “Sorry I’m late! Where are you? Just got here.”

Pigsy looked around, and not seeing anyone by the door, he frowned, quickly replying:

FineCuisine81: “Check the outside section.”

“You messaging your date too?” Tang laughed.

“Yeah, they said they’re here, so…” Pigsy trailed off.

“Oh! So’s mine, so I should probably– like– go, haha,” Tang said, already standing.

Pigsy just smiled somewhat sadly as the scholar shuffled away, not giving the pig demon a glance.

Whatever, he was sure it wasn’t personal (or– he hoped, anyway) and so pulled out his phone to find another message.

ShiningAnthropod_Admirer: “Where are you sitting?”

Pigsy looked around only briefly before sending:

FineCuisine81: “By the fountain in the middle section.”

Pigsy tapped his fingers anxiously against the table, staring at his screen intently as three dots bounced around.

ShiningAnthropod_Admirer: “There's a lot of people here. I guess I should also ask what you’re wearing too, haha”

“More like lots of humans,” Pigsy muttered to himself.

No– Pigsy couldn’t be bitter, he was supposed to have fun. It didn’t matter if his date was looking around and clearly expecting a human, it was–

Pigsy placed his hand on his breast pocket and took deep breaths, reminding himself he was fine and loved, and he’d be okay.

FineCuisine81: “Old blue western suit and a floral tie.”

He waited with bated breath, barely even daring to glance around to see if his date was actually looking for him or not. He did catch another glance at Tang, which the scholar returned with a funny shrug that Pigsy returned, before they both just went back to their phones.

ShiningAnthropod_Admirer: “I still don’t see you. You aren’t lying about being there, are you?”

Pigsy knitted his eyebrows, almost offended if he didn’t understand how bad first date jitters could be.

FineCuisine81: “I promise I’m not.”

Pigsy wasn’t even sure he was breathing anymore with how nervous he was watching the screen. At one point, the waiter stopped by to try and ask him if he was ready to order, but he pushed them away immediately.

A minute passed, then two.

Then–

ShiningAnthropod_Admirer: “Are you sure you’re at the right restaurant? The Huayuan Restaurant? The one on Lianren Road?” FineCuisine81: “I promise.”

Pigsy bit his cheek. He knew it wouldn’t be enough– maybe he needed to do something.

FineCuisine81: “What are you wearing? Maybe I can find you.”

Pigsy barely had to wait a second for a reply.

ShiningAnthropod_Admirer: “Red and gold tang suit with embroidery along the sleeves and sides. Also glasses lol.”

Pigsy paused, because that–... No… No, it– it couldn’t be, Pigsy would know if it was Tang. There– there would be signs. He’d know. Pigsy wasn’t that stupid.

He saw Tang circling around the fountain again, and this time when he locked eyes with Pigsy the scholar sighed and sat across from him once more.

Tang suit. Gold embroidery. Glasses.

“I’m pretty sure my date is just lying about being here at this point. I mean– I’ve circled the entire place like– ten times, but I just– I’m a little glad your table is still empty too.” Tang laughed like he was going to cry.

Holy fucking shit…

“I-I– Tang, I’m–” Pigsy was utterly dumbfounded because the man sitting in front of him was his mystery man– the fiercely intelligent and kind soul he had spent months chatting with, being too scared of what he’d think if he saw his appearance. Iit was him. It was Tang.

“A-are you okay? You look a little shaken,” Tang laughed again, this time picking up a napkin to wipe his eyes.

Pigsy didn’t think, just grabbed Tang’s hands and stroked them with his thumbs.

“Wha–? Pigsy? Are you alright?” The scholar was clearly startled, but didn’t break the grasp.

“Tang, I-I– It’s– I’m–” Pigsy growled in frustration, words alluding him.

“Yes…?” Tang asked softly, his eyes sparkling like diamonds against the night sky and glasses.

Pigsy took another breath, feeling warmth radiating from Xiaotian’s drawing as he did, and said, “1940’s western suit. Floral tie.”

Tang pulled back a little, opening his mouth to speak, before he looked Pigsy up and down. It only took seconds before his eyes widened with recognition.

“No… no, no– you–? Me? No, you– you wouldn’t, I–” Tang shook his head. “I appreciate you trying to save my night, but–”

“Tang. My username was ‘FineCuisine81’ because I’m a chef and was born in 1981. I didn’t bring up the restaurant or Xiaotian or my grandmother or– much of my past really because you know I’m pretty hesitant about most of it,” Pigsy pleaded for him to understand.

“I-I– you– you wouldn’t–”

“C’mon, Tang. You know me– you know my snark by now, don’t you?” Pigsy tried to joke, but Tang snagged his hands away to cover his face.

“Pigsy, I-I– did you look me up? Is this some kind of– sick joke? Getting payback for all those stupid bowls of noodles?” The scholar was crying by now.

“Tang! I would never– I didn’t know it was you, but now that I do, I– I couldn’t be happier, I swear.” Pigsy smiled despite his overwhelming worry.

Tang shook his head. “No– I’m– I’m not good enough for you– I’m such a mess a-and I’m broke a-and scrawny a-and anxious a-and–”

“Tang, you’re plenty good enough– you’re so much better than me, anyways,” Pigsy laughed and sniffled. “You’re so smart and kind and likable and–”

“B-but you’re really nice too! A-and you have a real job that pays well and a loving grandmother a-and you’re a guardian– and me? I’m just some loser with a nose in a book,” Tang interrupted.

“We– There’s a reason we wanted to meet our ‘mystery person’, Tang. We both saw… something in them– something that made us want more” Pigsy smiled as he wiped away one of the scholar’s tears. “I… I really don’t want to throw that away because I’m scared.”

Tang finally opened his eyes enough to get another good look at Pigsy. It was terrifying to be inspected by him, but Pigsy managed to hold strong and met his gaze with a soft, tearful smile that eventually got Tang to laugh and shake his head.

“We are so stupid, aren’t we?” He asked, and Pigsy removed his hands.

“Oh, absolutely,” Pigsy couldn’t help but agree. “But hey– I’m sure Lǎolao’ll love to hear it took us a whole fifteen minutes to realize we were here for each other.”

“Oh, heavens, she’s never going to let that go, is she?” Tang copied the pig, the redness in his face starting to leave.

“I’m pretty sure she’ll hold it above us until the day she dies,” Pigsy chuckled. “On the bright side, though, at least we’re both idiots.”

“Fair enough.” Tang smiled and looked at the fountain. “I just– I really picked out a restaurant– I am so sorry, this food is going to be trash compared to yours.”

“Bah, I’m sure that’s not true if you like it.” Pigsy winked.

Tang’s face went red again. “Oh, I wouldn’t be so sure; I like instant ramen.”

“Only because it’s so cheap.” The chef snorted.

“You don’t know the depths of my depravity,” Tang refuted.

“Well, I’d certainly like to. That’s why we’re still here, isn’t it?” Pigsy wiped his own face.

“Y-yeah! It– it is.” Tang smiled shyly. “I just– wow, I’m so embarrassed. I mean, the suit, the tie–”

“Hey, how’s about we just forget about fifteen minutes ago, and start over, okay? No guilt, no anxiety, nothing. Just us having a nice evening out,” Pigsy proposed.

Tang thought about it for a moment before nodding. “I’d like that a lot, Pigsy.”

“Then, it’s settled. We drove here together and the waiter sat us together, and we’re now deciding which wine to order together. That good?” Pigsy asked.

Tang nodded. “Sounds perfect, Pigsy.”

“I couldn’t agree with you more.”

Hanma Brother HCs

Because these two deserve to have a loving family member that is actually there for them.

They don't show open affection towards each-other in the usual way. If you asked a casual observer, they'd say that Jack actually hates Baki and that Baki is trying to make Jack lose his temper. Ask either of them if they hate each-other and they'll just look confused.

Baki likes to elbow Jack in the side or the hips a lot when he walks past him. They're finally close enough to play around like that, and Jack indulges him. He's even started reciprocating, usually swatting at Baki's shoulders or grabbing at his head to push him away.

Given the chance to spar, both of them would absolutely take it. It looks concerning until you realise that they're genuinely sparring and not actually fighting. Jack isn't biting Baki, and Baki isn't using any genuinely harmful techniques on Jack. They're just basically wrestling until they get bored or are satisfied with the encounter.

He'll never admit it, but Jack genuinely thinks his little brother is adorable. He's got a baby face, he's small, and Jack really just can't help it. He's given into the urge to just pick Baki up once before and hasn't done it since, because he knows he can't get away with it.

Jack has complete confidence in Baki's skills and his progression in the fighting world, he can see that his brother is rapidly improving and has so much potential, and he's genuinely proud of him and the fact that Baki's getting further than he has so far. It's good that at least one of them is finishing high school.

Baki, like everyone else, knows very little about Jack's life before he came to Japan, but he can tell that Jack's had a really rough life, just by looking at him (most people can, it's pretty obvious) but he had no idea how rough until he went to visit Jack in the hospital after his fight with Pickle and Jack had been sedated and tied down because he kept trying to leave.

It took him a while to finally get Kureha to tell him why Jack had to be sedated in the first place. Turns out that Jack has a serious mistrust of doctors, and considering his past, that's understandable.

Jack is very frugal, if he can save money, he will, but Baki grew up with his mom's money, and he still gets some from his inheritance, so he's not actually too worried about saving money, but he does appreciate doing so. Stick them in a supermarket together and Baki will learn the ways of a bargain hunter.

Baki has absolutely stolen Jack's clothes once or twice while he was fighting just to see if he can make his big brother laugh. It's a rare occurrence, since Jack is so stoic, and he hasn't managed it yet, but he has gotten a smile out of him!

They have the uncanny ability to just know what the other is thinking about by just looking at each-other. Is some new fighter talking a big game? Pay attention to the Hanma brothers, and you'll notice that they start side-eyeing each-other as things get more and more dramatic and out of hand. They're having a full-blown conversation without saying anything in the slightest, and nobody can really interpret it.

Both of them are very protective of Kozue. Is she there when a new group of fighters is in? They're both standing close to her, within arms reach, one in front, and one behind. If Baki isn't enough to deter the newcomers from being rude to Kozue, then Jack staring down at them certainly is.

Baki has actually brought Rumina (that kid he apparently hangs out with semi-regularly) to come meet Jack, because Rumina didn't believe that Baki had an older brother. Jack didn't really know how to react to being bragged about by Baki, but the kid was respectful enough.

Baki tries to get Jack to try new foods whenever he can, be it a snack that he brings to the arena, or if he runs into Jack outside of the ring. He'll drag his big brother to the nearest restaurant and sit him down to make him try something. Jack can eat just about anything without complaints, but he's got a love-hate relationship with seaweed. Healthy? Sure. But he doesn't like the texture or taste all that much.

Imagine breaking up with San but he can’t get over you...because he’s not supposed to

You and San had dated for a year and 6 months and in that time you'd obviously gotten to know one another's members. Your girls loved San because he was so caring and sweet. Ateez liked you because you were boisterous and matched their energy but when you and San broke up of course that all went away. Despite being in the same company there was an unspoken agreement between you and San to leave one another's members alone and you typically stuck to it...until some random man old enough to be your father began trying to chat you up.

You were at a company event, something you rarely went to but your leader couldn't come and as the next eldest it fell to you. So you were at the bar trying to look happy to be here when a man came and stood next to you but far too close. He clearly did it on purpose and began talking to you seconds later and then wouldn't shut up. You were polite at first because this was a company event and you had no idea who this man was, but when he wouldn't leave you alone you started getting angry. Luckily you had an angel watching you. You were just about to lecture this man on the gross age difference in couples these days when a hand appeared around your shoulder. "There you are honey!" Wooyoung said "I've been looking all over you..." when he pretended to spot the man. "Ahh so it's you who stole my girlfriend?" he asked with a big smile "the name's Wooyoung and this is my partner Y/n". The man shook Wooyoung's hand and once Wooyoung started asking some prying questions he left. Wooyoung dropped his arm as soon as he was gone and you smiled at him "thank you". "No problem" he said "I remember what your temper was like and figured I should step in before you tackled the guy". You smiled "you know me well" before realising so much time had passed you probably didn't know each other anymore. Wooyoung saw your expression and even though it went against the code he smiled at you. "How are you? We haven't spoken in ages, fancy a catch-up?". You nodded and sat together at an empty table. 30 minutes later you were still chatting and it was so nice. You forgot just how much you missed the Ateez boys and wished everything could always be like this...until you realised why they couldn't be. San arrived at the event.

San saw you and his smile momentarily dropped. He'd just got here and was looking for his members when he found one, with you. You and Wooyoung looked up and spotted him making his stomach lurch. Wooyoung looked down as if he was caught doing something bad, but your eyes were glued to San. Trying to see if he was okay. San quickly put a smile on his face and walked in the opposite direction. You watched San walk away and then swore "I didn't want him to see me". Wooyoung shook his head "Y/n it's okay. We're part of the same company, you're allowed to be here". "Yeah but we both stick to our floors and avoid some another. That's the unspoken rule ever since I broke his heart". Wooyoung frowned. He never got why the two of you couldn't make it work. You were the love of San's life and he could tell you still loved San. Just the way you said his name or looked at him showed that. But apparently, you'd thought the two of you were too different so you ended it. "I should go find him" Wooyoung said and you nodded "make sure he's okay". Wooyoung nodded and set off to find San. He knew where he'd be and sure enough, San was on the outside balcony overlooking the city. "I'm fine" San said hearing footsteps and correctly guessing it was Wooyoung. "You don't need to come running after me every time I see her" San said turning around. Wooyoung nodded "I know". San clearly wanted to speak but didn't have the words. Wooyoung waited knowing he'd say it eventually. "I still get surprised every time I see her but it's not as bad anymore". "Yeah?" Wooyoung asked trying to sound like he believed him. San nodded "it hurts but it's more controllable. Only took a year huh?". Wooyoung smiled sadly "I'm pleased things are getting better and Y/n would be too". San nodded "in some ways it'd be easier if she was meaner. If she wasn't so sorry and didn't pity me so much". "She doesn't pity you" Wooyoung said and San shook his head "yes she does, I see it in the way she looks at me. How she feels bad she couldn't love me". Wooyoung shook his head "that's not what happened" but San just smiled sadly "wasn't it? Wasn't it what it came down to really? She wanted to love me but she just couldn't". "No you just had different ways of expressing it and didn't match up well" Wooyoung said reciting what you'd said thousands of times. He didn't believe it. He thought if the two of you just communicate better and compromised more then it would've all been fine. It was something San and Wooyoung could never agree on but Wooyoung knew not to push too much and so he left it. They got through the event and even though San claimed it didn't affect him it clearly had. 2 weeks later he had a date and was so excited. It was with a nice dancer he'd met and she was super sweet. The guys were all sure she wouldn't hurt San and so were all for it. They all wished him luck as he left and anxiously waited for his return...however the second San walked through the door they knew it wasn't good. "Sannie! Come tell us how it went!" Hongjoong called as the front door opened but San didn't appear. If it had gone well San would've bounded in but he didn't come in until the third call. He stepped through the door and tried a smile "hi everyone". "So how was it?" Yeosang asked cautiously. San nodded "it was nice". "Nice?" Seonghwa asked and San nodded before his face crumbled. "No it wasn't...I couldn't relax the whole time and it just felt wrong! The whole time I just wanted...her" he said and all his members knew he meant you. "I'm pathetic" San cried "she even kissed me and all I could think about was Y/n". The guys went to comfort him when San continued "I'm such a loser! She doesn't want me, why do I still want her? Why can't I move on?". "You're not pathetic or a loser!" Yunho cried and Hongjoong nodded "San this was your first date since your breakup. It's normal to freak out or compare them to your ex". "But is it normal to wish she was your ex? To want the person who doesn't want you even after months?". The others all paused and San groaned. "No, we weren't agreeing" Wooyoung said and Seonghwa nodded "there's no such thing as normal but things will get better". "When?" He asked "seriously, when?". Nobody had an answer for him. After that disastrous date San really closed in on himself. He'd lost hope that he'd ever get over you and the guys hated seeing him so down. He hardly smiled and even his performance seemed half-hearted. It broke their hearts and part of them couldn't help but blame you. So when Wooyoung saw you a few weeks later in the car park he did pause before smiling back at you. You asked how Wooyoung was and he said he was fine before returning the question. You admitted you were just tired because you had a comeback soon but were well. Wooyoung nodded and silence fell giving you the chance to ask what you really wanted to ask. "So how's San?" you asked and for once Wooyoung didn't have the energy to lie. "Not great" he admitted and you froze "why? what’s wrong?". "He's physically fine but mentally he's been losing it lately. He's struggling to move on from you and he had a horrible date". "What was she mean to him?" you asked and Wooyoung shook his head "nope, she was perfect but he couldn't feel anything for her. Not like he does for..." and he trailed off. You blushed and looked down "I'm really sorry San is struggling but breaking up was a good thing. There was no point in us being together when it wasn't going to work". "See you've said that a million times but I don't get why it wouldn't work. San was happy and you were happy. What was the problem?". You shook your head "San wasn't happy". "Why? Did he ever say that because he looked pretty happy". "Well no he never said it...". "Then how did you know?" Wooyoung asked and you shrugged "well I used common sense! San was so loving and physical with his care and I wasn't. How could he be happy with that? He was settling for me and my behaviour and would eventually get bored so I ended it!" you explained and Wooyoing froze. "Are you serious? Was this what you meant by you were too different" Wooyoung asked. You nodded and Wooyoung shook his head "Y/n all of that isn't true! San never felt like he was settling and your differences made you stronger! You taught San a new life and you were so loving! He'd get so excited and tell us anytime you hugged him in your sleep or if you'd grab his hand in the cinema. Or the time you got him a rabbit cupcake just because it reminded you of him. He never felt let down or like he was missing out on something. He loves you Y/n! He still does! Exactly as you are". You froze processing everything Wooyoung said and managed to stutter "but he...how? How could he be happy with it? I don't get it?". "You never asked him so he never explained it" Wooyoung said "Y/n..." when you got it. "shit! Shit! Shit" you cried and you crumpled. You sat on the floor and put your knees up to your stomach. "I ruined everything! I thought I was being smart but the anxiety won again! Again! I'm such an idiot" and the tears started to fall. Wooyoung hugged and comforted you and stayed with you until you stopped crying. "It's not all ruined yet Y/n, I think we can still save this". "Really?" you asked hopeful and Wooyoung nodded "I have an idea" Wooyoung agreed to speak to Sam first and to test the waters but rather than testing then Wooyoung just basically jumped right in. He came home to find San and Jongho eating and stood in front of them. "So I spoke to Y/n" he said and Jongho shot him a look. San looked at him before nodding "ow...". "Yeah" Wooyoung nodded and hesitated, "she told me she thinks she made a mistake". As soon as he said those words a heavy silence descended. "A mistake?" San asked and Wooyoung nodded "breaking up with you". Jongho shook his head "no shit!" but San shushed him "why? What did she say?". "She thought you weren't happy and that you needed more from her. She broke up with you because she thought you were bound to break up with her. That's what she meant by too different". San froze and didn't speak. Jongho and Wooyoung exchanged a nervous look. "San?" Wooyoung asked but he couldn't see his face. Jongho went to touch his arm when San looked up "what the fuck?" he asked. "She broke up with me because she thought I was angry but she never thought to check? She threw it all away because she suspected something? Something that wasn't even true! What's the hell!". Jongho nodded "let it out". "She caused me all that pain and heartache thinking she was helping me? She broke my heart for nothing and now she wants me back? To just forget what happened?". Wooyoung shook his head "no of course she'll acknowledge all she put you through but she never meant to San. She thought she was helping you..." which was the wrong thing to say. "So that makes it okay?" San cried and Wooyoung shook his head "not at all just she never meant to hurt you. She didn't do it on purpose and that does change it slightly". San sighed and Wooyoung could see he was close to tears. "I...I don't even know what to think". "Well you don't have to decide now" Wooyoung said and Jongho nodded "sleep on it". San nodded but they all knew there was no way San was getting any sleep tonight. Wooyoung texted you early the next day telling you he'd told San and he'd...been surprised and emotional. That was fair and you felt awful for upsetting San again after all this time. The only reason you'd agreed to it was that Wooyoung said he thought San wanted you and would take you back but if San rejected you, you'd just hurt him again for nothing. Wooyoung was apparently a magician however because he texted you the next day saying San was willing to meet with you to discuss it and you immediately felt so nervous. Wooyoung asked if there was any chance you could do today because the sooner the better and you agreed. You'd been planning on exercising and doing some chores but San was more important. So you agreed to come over to the Ateez house at 3 and talk with San. You walked up the driveway feeling oddly empty-handed. In the movies, they always brought a bouquet of roses or a boom box or a ticket stub from their first date but that wasn't you and you knew San would see its insincerity. So you approached and knocked on the door before fiddling with your empty hands. The door opened almost immediately and Wooyoung smiled at you "hi Y/n thanks for coming". "Of course" you replied and stepped inside. "San's in the garden, we figured it'd be private and away from the house". You nodded but began to worry because you knew how much San loved the garden and if you couldn't convince San to take you back then it might ruin that place for him forever. It was a beautiful garden too and as you walked down the steps you tried to admire the flowers but all you could see was the man waiting at the bottom. San looked up as you approached and made eye contact with you. Neither of you knew what to do. To look away, to smile, to glare...none of it seemed right so you just watched one another until you were right in front of each other. "Thank you for seeing me" you said in greeting and San nodded "I'm not sure what's going to come out of this if anything, but I knew I had to do this". You nodded "that's fair, should we sit down?" and San nodded leading you to a bench. The air was so so awkward and you knew it wouldn't get any better so you started. "I messed up" you said figuring stating the obvious was a good place to start. "At the time I thought I was being logical and forward-thinking. I thought there was no way you'd be happy with me forever and that our incompatibility would cause a problem. Now looking back on it and thinking about the facts I know I was self-sabotaging. I was ruining our relationship based on no evidence that you were unhappy. I imagined it to save myself the heartache I was so sure I'd face later. I also realise how selfish that was, I hurt you just because I was scared of getting hurt myself and that's not fair or right. I'm so sorry San" you said your voice shaking and San looked away. San was emotional so he bit his lip in what you recognised as an effort not to cry. He took a breath and nodded "we broke up ages ago, you put me through hell so why have you come back now?". "I didn't realise it was all so stupid until I spoke to Wooyoung. This time last week I still thought I'd been smart and had made the right decision but speaking to him...it was like a screen had been lifted and everything I ever thought came crashing down. I didn't want to bother you again, to dredge all this up but then again I acted selfishly. I thought if there's any small chance I can save this, that you would take me back...that I had to take it. I had to try". San nodded but didn't say anything so you carried on. "You don't have to decide today and I understand if you say no. I know I've hurt you really badly and apologising doesn't mean I deserve forgiveness". San sat up straight "I have a question if we got back together then what's to stop this all from happening again? I know mental health isn't something you can control and I'm not saying I wouldn't stand by you through any crisis but I can't handle you turning it against me. Not again". You nodded your hands shaking and mulled over everything you'd been thinking. "This question scares me the most because I can't promise you it will never happen again. As much as I promise to try my best to make it never happen there's no guaranteeing I won't hurt you...". You saw San's shoulder slump and quickly continued. "But I have some ideas of how I can reduce the likelihood". San's head shot back up and he looked at you "how?". "Well firstly I realised I have some insecurities and rejection issues so I want to go to therapy. I know there's still a stigma around it but I don’t care what those idiots think, I lost you because of my issues so I know I need help". San smiled softly "I think that sounds really sensible". You nodded "I also want to improve my communication and I had an idea. I was wondering if once a month or so we could just talk about how we're feeling. I can get out if I'm nervous about anything and you can tell me if there's anything I'm doing or not doing that you'd like. Do you think that would work?". San nodded "I love it but Y/n you realise you can do that any time right? We can totally schedule a specific day but you can tell me how you're feeling any day of the week. You don't have to bottle that up, you can vent anytime". "Really? What if it's about us?". "Especially about us!" San said "honest and open communication is how relationships thrive Y/n and I think they will be the making of ours". 

You paused as said that and blinked "wait so does that mean...". "I'm willing to give this a second go" he said and your face lit up in surprise and happiness. "Oh San that's amazing!" you cried and burst into tears. San had never seen you cry before and that, of course, set him off and then you were both sobbing hugging one another. "I have so many more things I 'm going to do, I'm going to start journaling and I've got a meditation app on my phone and I'm going to ask my friends to discuss their feelings with me..." you listed off and San laughed as you just kept going. The only way he could get you to stop was by gently putting a finger to your lips. "Y/n they all sound great but breathe, you don't have to do anything right now". "I don't?" you asked feeling as if you had to correct everything right now. San chuckled "no...but you can kiss me if you need something to do. I haven't had one for a while". You smiled and nodded "I've missed you" and kissed him. From the house, you heard distant cheering. The two of you got back together and you were grateful every day for San...and for Wooyoung. The boy always bragged that he was the reason the two of you got back together but you both admitted it was true. He did and deserved bragging rights. You did all you'd said and more and were proud to say day by day you were getting better. Anytime you had an intrusive thought about San not loving you or being happy you tested it by simply asking San and he reassured you every time. You felt truly loved by him and wanted to show San he was loved too. You knew he liked cuddles so gave him cuddles as much as you could. You also verbalised how much you liked him and told him you loved him every night before going to sleep. Even if you'd argued or weren't together, you'd text him it. San thought his heart would burst from happiness and all his members were thrilled you were back together. They watched you and San playfully bicker from the kitchen. San was mocking your height and you were arguing back with some colourful words. San clearly found it hilarious and kept saying how cute you were until you started blushing, your angry face gone. San was clearly thrilled with the result and you pushed him before burying your head in his chest. San happily wrapped his arms around you and pressed a kiss to your head. He held you before looking up and realising you had an audience. "What?" he asked his members who all shook their heads. "Nothing" Jongho said and Seonghwa smiled "you two make a great couple that's all". Now it was San's turn to blush and he did before nodding "I know" and went right back to teasing you. "I hope this is it for them now?" Hongjoong said "no more problems". Yunho shrugged "every couple has problems but there's no way they'll lose each other again. Neither of them will let that happen" and they all nodded. The two of you were together for the long haul and nothing could stop that. _______

I obviously hope that none of Ateez get their hearts broken but especially San! He’s just so loving and emotional I feel like he’d take it so hard which is where this came from. 

San is just the sweetest and deserved all the love :)