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jjuwuni · 2 months

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caught in his web ; choi yeonjun ch. 4 | UNWANTED GUESTS

pairings — yeonjun x afab reader

genre — smut (lots of it so minors dni please), fluff, angst, college!au, friends to lovers, drama

word count (for this chapter) — ~2.3k

summary — You thought you’d be immune to Choi Yeonjun's charms, turns out you were completely, utterly, shamefully wrong.

And what’s worse? He’s your new best friend's boyfriend.

Wanna hear something even worse than that? His dad and your mom are dating.

MOA University: An educational institution created for the 1%. The elite of the elites. Those who are to inherit large multinational companies, take oath in office, and represent Korea's future in business and politics. This is where it begins.

warnings — almost-stepbro!yeonjun but not really since your parents are in the early stages of dating, kinda slow burn yes, black haired!yeonjun, bad boy yeonjun, all of you are trust fund babies, all the tubatu's make a cameo and are in the same friend group, might reference some other 4th gen idols, alcohol, drinking, drunken mishaps, lots of sex, profanity - lots of it, yeonjun is a menace but he's so cute wtf i'm screaming, jealousy, making out etc. minors dni istg! i'm watching y'all..

A/N: i'll keep my personal update short and sweet: one thing's for sure, this part do be kinda spicy so 👀 do let me know your thoughts !

current taglist : @soobadooba , @flowerbe0m , @lix-stray , @beomtese , @yxnjvnnie , @healingpage , @hihello-pinky , @kazscara , @bibibun , @txtistheloml , @jungwonismybias, @boba-beom, @jwnghyuns, @a-l-i-y-a, @nurihihi, @staaaarykids, @seonghwa10ve

The following morning, you were expecting the day to be quite eventful. Not only is your mom home from her stint in Italy, but Yeonjun's father came home along with her.

You basically have a full house that day - with both your parents and Yeonjun himself present.

The smell of fresh croissants greeted you that early morning, as you wrapped your baby pink silk robe around your frame while walking to the kitchen.

"Good morning!" You greeted everyone in the kitchen upon your arrival. It was bustling, with helpers and chefs scattered all around - some of those who have served in your family for decades.

Lo and behold though, you happen to catch a glimpse of Chaewon in the kitchen, making you inhale a surprised gasp.

"Chaewon-ah.. You're here too huh?" You inquired, staring at the other female who was busy in the middle of the kitchen.

Come to think of it, with the amount of times you've visited and stayed in her home, you've never seen her come even close to the vicinity of her kitchen.

"Oh! Hi y/n!" She chirped, pulling out a tray of croissants from the oven after flashing a smile your way. "I heard Jjunie's dad is in town and I just thought, why not welcome him back by cooking him breakfast, hm? I am his future daughter-in-law after all."

You swallowed a little, not too sure why you were feeling a little invaded by this sudden visit. She was your best friend after all, right?

And she was Yeonjun’s future spouse, that much was a given, so she was only stating facts.

"Oh okay, well, I'm looking forward to what you have whipped up for us. See you in there." Your words come out apathetic in nature, making you question why for a moment before exiting the kitchen. You then waddled over to the dining area where all three of the people you were expecting to see were seated.

Yeonjun shot you a cautious look when I entered, you think it was because he wasn't also expecting Chaewon to show up at this point in time.

You ignored it and ignored him as well.

"Ah, we must send our regards to the Kim family for raising a daughter like this. They really did a marvelous job." Your Uncle Minjun noted as soon as you sat down, with Chaewon trailing behind you with her "freshly baked" croissants.

"Oh of course- I'll tell them you send your warmest ones, appa. I can call you that now, right?" Chaewon bravely said, causing Yeonjun to almost choke on his glass of water.

Your mom and yourself however, decided you'd take a seat back and enjoy watching Chaewon dote on Yeonjun while he awkwardly accepted the gesture.

You watched on, feeling slightly uncomfortable about the whole situation, but also wanting to be entertained at the same time. It was quite funny to see him act as behaved as possible around your parents.

As you are about to finish eating, your phone starts ringing - effectively catching everyone's attention. Yeonjun, who was sitting across from you happened to catch a glimpse of who was calling.

"Excuse me, I'm going to take this call quick." You remarked before standing up and moving to the corner of the room, even though it was far from everyone else, you made it a point that people could still hear you. "Ah Soobin ssi, what is it? Oh-... You want to go out? Today? Ah alright, pick me up in a few, okay? See you then!"

When you got back to your seat, it was a lot quieter than usual, but you were determined to get yourself out of the house as soon as possible- there was no way you'd stay there any longer.

“Nice to see you Soobin-ah~” You said as Soobin picked you up that early afternoon, getting in the seat and strapping yourself in with the seatbelt.

“I’m glad you agreed to let me see you today.” He replied and began to drive away from your house.

In the rearview mirror of his car, you could see a tall figure in the distance, standing by the far side of the driveway, watching the car drive off.

You shake the feeling off, Yeonjun was probably just wanting to see one of his best friends.

“Chaewon’s in our house today, I think she’s out on a mission to try and impress Yeonjun’s dad. It’s pretty cute, to be honest. I don't think I've ever seen her do any housework whatsoever.” You began the conversation, laughing a little in the process. “Has she always been like this?”

“I guess you could say that.” The male with the dark-colored hair nodded, and you watched him on as he drove, settling on the passenger side. “Chaewon’s always been a shy kid when we were young, she didn't even like to speak to anyone. But I think Jun helped her get out of her shell. I guess you could say, the reason why she’s as confident as she is now is because of him." He starts explaining, giving you more insight as to how their dynamic was when you were all young.

No wonder Chaewon and him are practically attached by the hip.

"They were friends for a while, as we all were, but as soon as Chaewon approached her last year of High School, their parents started communicating about the possibility of a potential marriage arrangement.”

You blew air into your cheeks, inflating them, it seemed as if they had their whole lives ahead of them planned out. “Oh, I understand.” You nodded a few times, “Um, Soobin?” You paused, looking up at him with a careful expression on your face, “You know, don’t you? About… How Yeonjun sees other women.”

He pursed his lips in a tight line and nodded albeit cautiously, “How did you know?”

“His dad mentioned in one of our dinners that the guards catch him sneaking people in.” You replied, “But… but why does he do that? Is he not... happy with her?” You asked him, hoping to make sense of the situation.

“Well.. Like I said before, he’s making up for all the shortcomings in his life by acting up. That’s just how it is. I guess when you get robbed of your childhood like Yeonjun hyung did, that’s how you cope.”

Soobin paused, running his hands through his soft locks of hair. “As messed up as it may sound, Chaewon knows though, she knows every single one of his faults and secrets. She even knows that he sleeps around. But she lets him… That’s how patient she is with him, you know?”

Wow. Props to her. “Woah, I didn’t know that, indeed, Chaewon does love him a lot.”

“She does. She’s very patient with him, hoping that one day he’ll come to his senses and get it together. I think we're all just hoping for the same. In any case, Chaewon knows that Yeonjun’s formally to be with her, so maybe that’s what gives her assurance.”

Yeonjun is hers. You thought to yourself to serve as a reminder. You stayed there quiet as can be all throughout the car ride going to the mall where you were going to hang out, trying to process everything.

You didn’t know Chaewon had any inclination that Yeonjun fooled around like that, and it was very admirable that she stuck beside him even through it all.

It almost made you jealous.

The day went by faster than you expected. You and Soobin just watched a movie and had some pizza and ice cream afterward, as per your request.

It was a wholesome kind of "date", as he had always been the exemplary gentleman. He was different from the guys your age who just cared about hook-ups, and you realized the more time you spent with him that you shared a lot of commonalities- and for that you were thankful.

Thinking about it now, he was one of the first few who welcomed you into the group with open arms during your first days at MOA U.

You got home at around a little after midnight, you even fell asleep in his car on the ride home.

You decided to end the night by placing a quick kiss on his lips though, it was more of a thank you gesture on your part- for being so patient with you as always and also saving you from your day.

He blushed as red as a beet, and it was the cutest thing ever.

As you were heading up the long flight of stairs and up to the third floor of the house, you couldn't help but notice that Yeonjun's door was still slightly open.

You had to admit that curiosity started eating at you.

After all, you haven't seen him the whole day. Maybe he was still awake? You did notice that he was the type to sleep late playing games with the boys or listening to music.

Maybe you can catch up on his day? You were genuinely interested to hear about how the day with Chaewon being in the house went after you left.

And though at first, you decided to ignore the open door and go on your merry way, after changing into your satin pajama set, you slowly but surely made your way to his room.

You took very light steps across the carpeted hallway, not wanting to disturb him in any way in case he left his room open when he fell asleep. Quiet as a mouse, you moved through the long hallway adorned with expensive paintings.

It was when you were a few inches away from his door that you heard a muffled sound.

And then another, and then, another.

Your eyes grew big when you realized what kind of sound it was.

Your eyes peered into the small crack in his door into the dimly lit bedroom, his king-sized bed in view, and the sight that took place before your eyes was enough to cause you to kneel on the floor.

“Noona..” Yeonjun moaned as the unknown female began to ride him. She was nestled atop him, with her legs on either side of his waist.

You watched on as Yeonjun’s firm grip took hold of her waist, making indents on her skin, while she moved over him with much vigor and enthusiasm.

Now's probably a good time to divulge your secret.

You were a virgin. With no prior experience with sex, whatsoever.

And this would be the first time you’d be witnessing something like this firsthand.

Even so, you couldn’t pry your eyes away from the lewd sight. It wasn't like you've ever gone out of your way to watch anything R-rated, so this was basically your first brush with that type of content.

No matter what you did, there was something in you that wanted to watch on.

You felt your innocence getting tainted by the second so quickly. But you just couldn’t look away.

You bit your tongue as your eyes scanned over him: from his prominent features exhibiting a pleasured expression, down to his defined collarbones that adorned his broad shoulders, and to his firm, chiseled torso.

You barely gave the unknown woman the time of day, your focus was all on him.

You then felt something in between your legs, some type of heat. At the back of your mind, you knew what that meant, but you just couldn't bring yourself to accept it in the moment.

The older girl grasped Yeonjun’s shoulders as she sped up her bouncing, allowing you to catch a glimpse of his length every now and then, and boy, were they really supposed to come in that big of a size?

You couldn’t handle it anymore as they both wrestled to hit their climaxes, and you were finally able to gather enough strength to back away from the scene of the crime.

You ran like a chicken without its head towards the kitchen, grabbing a cold glass of water and chugging it down in the hopes that it would extinguish whatever kind of feeling was igniting in you.

“Jesus… What the hell.” You couldn’t help but groan into your hands as you buried your face in them, half of your body collapsing onto the marbled countertop.

You stood there frozen in the middle of the kitchen for what seemed like an eternity, wanting to burn that vision of Yeonjun getting it on with some other girl and eradicate it from your memory bank as soon as you possibly could.

You were ready to go back to your room and call it a night after you got yourself together (which honestly took about five more minutes).

But as soon as you turned around, there he was, standing by the doorway of the kitchen. He had his arms crossed, an unreadable expression on his face, thick brows furrowed together in the center of his face.

“O-oh, hey…” You tried to act nonchalant, but the cracking in your voice and the heat pooling underneath your cheeks were betraying you. In short, it felt like your whole face was on fire. "W-when did you get here? Ah, I didn't even notice you. I'm just so tired from my day." You tried to salvage the situation, even faking a yawn.

“Hey yourself.” Yeonjun replied in a raspy voice, lowering his gaze to you.

You walked up towards the entrance of the kitchen and came face to face with the devil himself. “I was just getting a glass of water.” You tried to explain, stopping about an inch away from him when you realized he wasn’t going to budge. He wasn't moving a muscle.

“Enjoyed the show I hope?”

Your jaw dropped ever so slightly, “E-excuse me?”

“You’re not going to tell Chaewon.. Right?” He asked with a grin as your eyes locked.

“I - I really don’t know what you’re talking about, Yeonjun-ah,” You said, trying your very hardest to feign innocence still.

All at the same time, you were trying to ignore the fact that he was literally just in his boxers, with that… that thing.. as defined as it was behind the cloth of the underwear.

Yeonjun laughed: it sounded like a giggle, almost. Clearly finding this situation entertaining.

Soon, he reached out, pushing your hair back and over your shoulder, effectively exposing the flesh.

He then leaned in and began to ghost his lips across your shoulder and to your own collarbone, tracing it with his plump, rosy pair. “Mm, okay if you say so, princess…” He said, his hot breath trickling against your skin as you heard him inhale, as if he was taking in your scent, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

With that, he pulled away, leaving you weak in the knees that you had to support yourself and hold onto the doorway to catch the breath you didn’t know you were holding.

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olderthannetfic · 10 days

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Something I'll never get is why so many of the "you have a moral imperative to write more F/F and fix fandom's hatred of women!" people act like only lesbian women read or write F/F. My mom is straight and she has a lot of F/F ships. I'm a pansexual trans man and I have an even number of F/F, F/M, and M/M ships (with a handful of NB/F and NB/M ships, which I notice always gets overlooked in this discourse). My brother is aroace and mostly not into shipping but he has one F/F OTP he's been onboard with for over a decade. Even my dad, who is very conservative and queerphobic, has one ship where his bigoted brain goes, "it's different when it's them."

But a lot of the discourse that comes up is all about how this is unfair to lesbian women, it's rude to them, etc. and I just have to sit back and squint at my computer screen. I know so many people of different genders and orientations who ship different things. Is this one of those things where my being non-US American and being 20 is skewing my POV, and actually historically in fandom shipping F/F has been a thing reserved for lesbian women in the English-speaking parts of fandom? Or is this radfem "you hate lesbians" rhetoric seeping into fandom spaces? Because I'm young enough and not well-read on fandom history enough that I genuinely don't know.

And isn't it a good thing if more people read F/F than just lesbian women? (Lesbian NBs always get erased from this convo, I've noticed.) My mom is cishet demiromantic and was raised deeply conservative, but reading F/F helped snap her out of her parents' lesbophobic and queerphobic beliefs. It helped her become more understanding and when her sister came out, it was part of why she was so accepting. My best friend, long before I was out, basically did a speedrun with that same experience watching a documentary on things queer people in our country go through and ended up crying about how unfair things were.

I think it's good for people to read about the experiences of groups they aren't in. I will never know what it's like to an orientation or gender I'm not, but that doesn't mean those aren't still human experiences worth reading about. I think it's like race. It's good to read things that are about other groups and shake off the inaccurate stereotypes the media puts on them and just let them be people like any other. So why act as if F/F exists solely for lesbian women? It would be like saying the Spider-Verse movies exist solely for black people. It's just pointless.

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shy-urban-hobbit · 6 months

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Modern Au kid fic! Platonic Aiden and Lambert (Aiden and Lambert are both 14. Geralt and Eskel are early twenties).

CW for eye trauma and injury description.

"C'mon, everyone knows you're like a god damned guard dog when it comes to your boys." Guxart pleaded.

"And you're hoping I'll extend that to your boy?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

Vesemir ran his free hand over his face as he listened to the man on the other end of the line. He knew what he was getting into when he became a foster parent almost twenty years ago. However, he hadn't had any requests like this since taking Lambert in a decade ago and Guxart's kids were a whole different matter. It wasn't his fault the Dyn Marv Group Home had essentially been a sinking ship when he took it over. He was doing his best to turn things around but it was a slow process and there was no denying a good portion of the kids needed support which not many people were equipped to provide as a result of his predecessors management style, whilst a good number of the remaining kids had priors.

"Look, real talk." Guxart suddenly sounded exhausted, "He's my responsibility and for obvious reasons he can't stay here. Right now he's in a bad way, physically and mentally. I need to put him with someone I can trust won't take advantage of that. I need to know he's in safe hands. Please, Ves."

Vesemir sighed. He really hoped he wasn't going to regret this, "When can we expect him?"

"Any idea what this is about?" Eskel asked as he slouched on the old sagging couch.

Geralt shrugged and gave a grunt as he replied to a text (probably Yen), "Group text. I got the same information you did."

"Ass." Eskel gave his brother a playful swat.

"Alright you two." Vesemir emerged from the kitchen carrying three sodas, "I'll fill Lambert in when he gets back from school, but there's some details I'd rather he not know right away."

"Sounds serious." Eskel said, both he and Geralt leaning forwards in their seats to show they were listening.

Vesemir nodded, "Guxart called me. We've got an emergency placement arriving in a couple of hours straight from hospital, lad around Lambert's age."

His adopted sons wrinkled their noses, Vesemir cut them off before they could say anything, "I know you have past issues with the Dyn Marv kids. But Guxart assured me the worst Aiden's ever been slapped with is weekend detention."

Eskel perked up, "Aiden? Lambert's Aiden? Fuck, I gave him so much shit about him being imaginary."

Vesemir shrugged, "It's possible. It's not an uncommon name though."

"So why was he in hospital and why is he coming here?" Geralt asked

"He got attacked by a group of older kids. Naturally, for his own safety he can't go back to the group home while the investigation is ongoing and Guxart didn't want to ship him across State with fresh trauma."

"For how long?"

"Depends how long the authorities take. All I know is that the ringleaders are going to be up on assault charges. Possibly even attempted murder."

"Attempted - what the fuck did they do to him?"

"I didn't want to ask over the phone, his social worker will fill us in on everything when he arrives. That being said, you two know the drill for new arrivals. Geralt, you go do a junk food run and grab some essentials while you're at it, I've got no idea what he's going to be bringing with him so just the basics for now. Eskel, give me a hand getting the spare room ready."

Lambert kicked an empty can into the gutter, scowling down at his shoes. Another day of bullshit taunts and teasing and still no word from Aiden after almost a month. He wasn't dumb, he knew Aiden would have a reason and he knew what the deal was for care kids. He'd probably been moved to a different home or something with no warning and no choice, it happened. Still, Lambert thought his friend would have at least replied one of his emails or something to let him know (Aiden didn't have a phone. He said it was more hassle than it was worth trying to prevent it from getting stolen), not just act like he didn't exist anymore. Long distance friends were a thing, right? Lambert kicked another can. Fuck it, he was done. If Aiden wanted to ghost him then two could play at that game. Fuck friends and fuck him.

"Home." He called out, nudging the door closed with his foot.

"Stop kicking the door and get in here." Vesemir called from the living room, "I need to talk to you about something."

"Fucks sake, I haven't even done anything." Lambert groaned "I've literally just walked through the door."

"I know you haven't. Stop bitching and sit down."

Lambert slumped into the room, taking in the spread of pizza, burgers, hotdogs and cake on the coffee table. That could only mean one thing, "Who's the new guy?"

"That's what I want to talk to you about, but I need you to promise you'll keep a cool head first. Ok."

Lambert shrugged.

"He got here about half an hour ago straight from the hospital. He's pretty beat up."

"Sucks for him. He got a name?"

"Aiden. About your age."

Lambert shot to his feet, "About this tall, dark hair?"

"Yes. But before you - Lambert !"

Lambert didn't hear as he charged up the stairs and down the hallway to the usually empty spare bedroom and immediately started pounding on the door, "Aiden?! "

The door cracked open and Lambert couldn't hide a wince. Vesemir wasn't kidding when he'd said Aiden was pretty beat up. The skin of his arms which wasn't covered by his t-shirt and bandages was covered in bruises. He had the fading evidence of a black eye whilst the other was covered by a patch of surgical gauze, a fresh, bright red scar poking out of the top and disappearing into his hairline. He smiled at Lambert awkwardly, "Hi."

Lambert threw his arms around him in a hug before remembering he was supposed to be mad and turning it into a light shove, "You dick! Why didn't you tell me you were in hospital?"

"I would have if I could but I was in an induced coma for two weeks and it's not like the hospital had a computer lab."

"Wait, you were in a coma."

"To give the internal shit a chance to heal. I'm all good now though. Well-" he pointed to his gauze covered eye, "Mostly."

"What happened anyway?" Lambert asked, moving into the room to sit on the bed.

"Jad and his gang jumped me. This happened when Vi decided to get a flick knife involved." Aiden moved to sit next to him, eyes on the floor and fists clenched. "They couldn't save my eye."

Lambert had never heard his friend sound so small, "Shit, Aiden."

They sat in awkward silence, Lambert not really knowing what to say after that. Luckily they were both saved by a shout of, "Boys, everything ok? If you want food I'd get down here before Geralt eats it all!"

Lambert grinned at his friend, "Hot dog eating contest?"

"You're on!"

#the witcher #the witcher fanfiction #lambert/aiden #aiden/lambert #witcher aiden #witcher lambert #lambert

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ystrike1 · 2 years

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Abakanaide Kurorekishi Elite-san to Moto Idol - By Ninomae Amane (8.5/10)

I can hardly believe my eyes. The protagonist in this is thirty...and she looks thirty! Her body isn't perfect and it's really well drawn! This is about a former idol who is ashamed of her past, and a businessman who tried to do everything right. Now, they're both unhappy. They go through alot of shit to become happy together.

This is a very adult work that deals with very adult problems. Miyu Tachibana was a petite high school girl who wanted to become an idol. A shady company took advantage of her. When a shady executive tried to assault her she punched him and got fired. Then her shiny high school life ended, and she became a low level office worker.

She chopped off all of her hair. Her failed idol career damaged her relationship with her parents. She doesn't talk to them. She also gained weight recently. Miyu is kind of a loser pushover and I love it, because it makes perfect sense. She's been beaten down. She used to love cute things. She used to dream about her ideal prince, but now she's alone with bills to pay. It makes sense.

Shiga is a good man. He's a great salesman, and he wanted to marry his steady girlfriend, even though he didn't love her. His girlfriend didn't love him either. Their relationship was convenient. Basically, they were best friends who wanted a stable partner. Thankfully the girlfriend came to her senses and found someone she loved. She tells Shiga to find love too, and they break up in a very mature way. Cool, but Shiga's one true love is an unpopular idol who retired twelve years ago. Miyu-Miyu was his reason for living for years. He was a good fan that didn't dream about dating her. He was just inspired by her cuteness. He thought that wasn't love, but even though he's twenty eight he's still obsessed with her. His older brother found Miyu, and he told Shiga where she is. Shiga could not resist. He's doing business with her company just so he can speak to her. His entire family is dorky and obsessed with idols so they support him.

Shiga makes a very good first impression. A creeper shows up and he helps Miyu, but then he gets jealous. They go to a hotel. She thinks she has to sleep with him to get business for her company, but they don't sleep together. They cuddle and talk instead. It's pretty great.

Shiga is a really doting yandere. He's patient and he's not a creeper. He's just really obsessed with Miyu. The producers that tried to assault Miyu traumatized her, so they go slow. They don't have sex until she's ready. Shiga wants to marry her and make her a stay at home wife, so she can be all his.

Miyu was in a big idol group. One of the members was Ayame. Ayame got famous, and crazy. She did sleep with producers to get work. Now she's twenty seven and depressed. Miyu was her only real friend ten years ago. After a decade of dealing with fake assholes that only want sex Ayame crawls to Miyu. She's desperate for a friend, but she also hates Miyu, because she's happy. Ayame has all of the money and fame she wanted, but she feels empty. She wants Miyu to be her manager, because she only trusts Miyu now. She drugs Miyu and then shit gets insane.

Ayames brother Toru is a cold yandere. He cares about his sister. He would have dated Miyu in the past, but his sister didn't approve. Now he's trying to support Ayame. Her mental health is not great right now. She's suicidal. She just kidnapped her childhood best friend. He's a decent brother and now he's less interested in Miyu.

He's totally willing to keep her as a pet though. Shiga has to save her from the crazy twins. Miyu doesn't run away. She tries to help Ayame and it works, because Ayame knows she needs help. Both girls say sorry. When Miyu quit she cut ties with everyone, including Ayame. That was unfair. Ayame tried to abduct Miyu. Also unfair. The girls hug and Shiga says she's too generous, but both girls have shared trauma. Miyu didn't actually sleep with any producers, but she was constantly pressured by them. She completely understands why Ayame went nuts.

Shiga gets more unhinged too. Miyu is a little insecure about her weight and her financial situation. Shiga comes from wealth and she...well she was in music videos that look like softcore porn. Shiga literally tells her he'll never break up with her, even if he dies. He tells her everything. He reveals his gross otaku past, and he tells her he has flaws too. Then she trusts him enough to marry him. She even contacts her parents after he encourages her. Aw.

Miyu-Miyu's cuteness makes her husband very happy. He dresses her up in frilly clothes and they have fun. She gets over most of her confidence issues, and she enjoys consensual sex with a caring partner. It's what she deserves. Awesome. Great. Goodnight. This is kinda a hidden gem.

#yandere #male yandere #yandere male #yandere boy #recommendations #recs #rec #recommended #manga review #smut #Abakanaide Kurorekishi Elite-san to Moto Idol

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professionalwaterbender · 7 months

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Hey, out of curiosity, do you have any ATLA ocs, and if you do, for your main oc[s], lore?

Also, any hc's about Azula, cuz I think she's my favorite character in the series :DDD

AYYY PUMPKIN LOVE YOU <33

Hmm,

One of my fav headcanons is that Zuko and Azula were very very close as kids, even closer than normal sibling pairs But then Ozai began to mold Azula, causing her to become distant, and even cruel enough to the point she’d hurt Zuko just to gauge his reactions

------------

ATLAVERSE OC LORE

you are going to regret ever asking about my oc lore :D

okay okay so basically

We have 7 ocs (<33), all based in a modern AU for ATLA. Its in todays world, so we have all of the tech of today. In this world, benders are the minority and the subject of a lot of prejudice. Some people love em, most hate them because they’re far more powerful than the average human and everyone is threatened by them. A few smart people make friends with the benders (big brain) but most everyone is terrified by them (peasants).

In Tabs' words:

"Benders in the modern world are a minority and are oppressed and demonized. Any person known to have bending powers are locked in jail, killed, or sent to illegal bending arenas to fight to the death.

The Avatar spirit has been missing for generations. There is no hope, there is no brighter future for benders.

The Avatar is gone. Lost.

Until he was found in the body of a man named Revon.

Revon, forced to hide for the entirety of his life, seeks not to bring benders and nonbenders together, but to eradicate every last one of the benders so that he alone holds all the power.

He will unite the world, under his rule.

That’s where a small rebel group, known as the Steel Hearts, comes into play. A vigilante group dating back to the times of Avatar Korra, it is led by a young waterbender. Once, her parents led the group, before they disbanded under mysterious circumstances.

For five years, the waterbender has languished in hiding. Once a formidable assassin and a powerful bloodbender, now only a tender of a tea house.

Her tranquil life is flipped on its head one day, when an airbender running from her past seeks the waterbender out, begging her to pick up the pieces of the decades old rebellion and put them back together.

And here is where our story truly begins."

Put simplistically,

nonbender government: bending is bad kill all benders avatar: non-benders are bad, benders are bad, kill all of the benders so i can be the only bender and threaten the non-benders the group: hey what the fuck

The characters are based off of my best friends, the people in the infamous Infinity Gauntlet GC, and the adults are based off our teachers (they love it i swear)

Characters below the cut!

Steel Hearts

Kara [she/her] (me) -> Waterbender, Bloodbender, trained assassin, weapon of choice: throwing knives <33, Orion's S/O

Akira [she/they] (@tabsters) -> Firebender, Lightningbender, (lore to be revealed), weapon of choice: pistol, Rexen's S/O

Rexen [they/them] (@iirexenii) -> Earthbender, Metalbender (second to only Ren), (lore to be revealed), weapon of choice: dual scythes, Akira's S/O

Ren [he/him] (@halfghostlyfires) -> Earthbender, can literally bend every sub-element, most powerful earthbender right after Toph Beifong, resident rich guy #1, weapon of choice: Kyoketsu-shoge (“KNIFE ON A ROPE” according to tabs)

Amara [she/her] (@serenaisproblem) -> Airbender, hacker, weapon of choice: pocketknife (violence when she has to)

Artemis [he/him] (this is the Artemis that Tabs and I refer to) -> Waterbender, resident rich guy #2, weapon of choice: handheld dagger (only resorts to violence when he has to)

Zephyr [they/them] (@im-just-here-for-the-comics-r18) -> Non-bender, absolute badass and will not hesitate to kill, weapon of choice: a goddamn flame thrower

Akio [he/him] (@tdog451) -> Firebender, one of the most powerful in the group, weapon of choice: also throwing knives and his firebending, if you haven't guessed by now, this is Kara's lost lost twin brother

Orion [he/him] (@yourlocalapplejuice) -> Airbender, doesn't do violence except to protect those he loves too, weapon of choice: airbending, Kara's S/O

Villains:

Revon: based off of my humanities teacher, has some history with Kara (we literally dont know what yet), the Avatar and Kara’s direct opponent, weapon of choice: throwing knives

Vexx: based off of no one because Vexx is creepy and weird and none of us like him, weapon of choice: literally any kind of knife and gun, Artemis’ direct opponent

Lilith: also not based off of anyone because she is terrifying, runs an illegal bending arena, both Rexen’s and Akira’s direct opponent, weapon of choice: gun

Those are the three main villain as of now, we’re still developing Amara’s and Zephyr’s

Backstories:

Kara: parents were assassins, bloodbenders, and leaders of the Steel Hearts, passed that down to Kara. Her parents ended up killing each other (no explanation yet <33)

Akira and Rexen: both were kidnapped at a young age and forced to fight in a bending arena. Rexen escaped first, but was forced to leave Akira behind. Akira finally escaped, met up with Kara's gang, then finds Rexen, and now those two make out at every opportunity after 6 months of being apart

Ren and Artemis: their stories are intertwined. Both were best friends in their youth, but Artemis’ parents being killed led to a rift in their friendship (if you want more on this specific one, tabs and I have a ficlet)

Ren: abusive parents, rich dude, but runs away, ends up getting kidnapped and arrested, his parents have put out a bounty on him

Artemis: actual loving parents, but they’re dead now (heheh) so artemis is forced to live on his own at 12, ends up being successful but chooses to look for his parents’ killer

Amara: oldest kid and has to take care of her siblings. After striking a deal with some pretty shady people, amara shoves her family in a safe place and runs. She is the first member of the steel hearts, and she is the one who encourages Kara to restart it

(We’re still figuring out Zephyr’s backstory lmao but I will put it in here soon)

YEAH THATS ABOUT IT IF YALL WANT SOME OF THE FICS ASK TABS OR ME AND WE’LL BE VERY VERY HAPPY TO SHARE

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA THANKS FOR THE ASK, PUMPKIN!!!!!!!!!!!!

#Pumpkin asks!#atlaverse oc lore #eeeeeeeeEEEEEEE i love ranting about my children thank you thank you

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cybrthrillz · 3 months

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can you please share any headcanons you have for the guards?

gladly! i tried to keep this short but i realized that i actually have a lot of intricate headcanons so erm

(my original draft for this got deleted because the app crashed on me so im suffering LMAO sorry i took so long to answer)

zalia

lesbian mtf (mostly because zalia was never referred to with she/her until like, royalloween, and i didnt wanna assume so i just figured she was a dude like everyone else)

the oldest guard next to hans

zalia struggles with regulating her volume and tone of voice, so she had a hard time making friends because everyone thought that she was rude

zalia actually knew alexander since they were very little, since she's close to hans

has a weird relationship with the captain of the royal guards. her opinions of her was only ever professional but another part of her feels insanely attracted to her

hans

gay

oldest guard

alexander’s older brother. their parents are very important people, so theyre rarely ever at home much. hans was 27 when alex was born, he basically raised them even though he was working full time as a guard and he ended up bringing them to a lot of his shifts until they were old enough to be left unsupervised (he couldve used a babysitter or left them at a family friends house, but he doesnt want to risk it affecting alexs growth and wants only the best for them)

also specifically alex is hans' half sibling, with a different dad. it would make sense if they were an accident now that i think about it. LOL

launcelot is taller than him

very protective of alex. does not like their relationship with poppy

launcelot

bisexual (i sometimes make him ftm)

husband of the headmistress, barbie. boyfriend of hans. probably has a daughter

launcelot and barbie both went to royale high in the same class together, but they didnt really become friends for a while, even though they talked from time to time. thats because barbie is from quite a prominent family of powerful fairies, and also the student council leader. she was the love interest of most at school with how beautiful and intelligent she was. launcelot meanwhile was just some (human) dude with average-at-most grades and enjoyed playing dnd sometimes with his friends. he was still content with himself though, and was generally well-liked because of how extraverted he is, but him and barbie were just far too different for their worlds to ever collide. from the few group projects they did together though, they really enjoyed talking to each other. when sophomermaid year dawned, launcelot decided to try signing up for the student council, because he wanted to broaden his horizons more and also help out at the school, which is how he and barbie became friends. launcelot gave barbie a world away from the stress of expectations and allowed her to be herself. she often snuck out with launcelot after school to hang out at the fair in town. things started really taking off when they were in their junicorn years, which is when they started dating.

launcelot and hans have decades worth of a weird hate-love relationship that only recently turned romantic. by the time launcelot graduated from his squire title and became a real knight, hans was raising a 5 year old alex, so while launcelot still found him incredibly annoying and aggravating to work with he still didnt completely hate him. their relationship became a weird pudgy mix as years went by because they've known each other so long and since they sometimes hang out and have normal conversations at the bar and launcelot even babysits alex sometimes when hans is really busy or tired.

edward

ftm

tends to romanticize relationships, panics when someone is actually interested in him romantically and/or sexually. zero relationship experience

usually gets dragged into oliver and vanders nerdy hang out sessions because oliver invited him. he doesnt really get it but he wants to support their interests (i know that this is basically canon but i wrote this at least a month before the everfriend update lol)

likes to call oliver pet names even before they started dating, it makes oliver flustered but he never realized it

vander

likes dressing emo a lot. wardrobe is just black.

actually just Talks Like That. he never talks normally

used to be a stereotypical rebellious emo teenager, matured by the time he was a junicorn in high school

mamas boy (she bought him a lot of his old clothes and accessories, still gets him stuff sometimes even now as an adult)

doesnt really know how to talk to people and likes hanging with oliver. they are bffs

probably autistic

#anon ask #royale high #royale high campus 3 #royale high new campus #royale high guards #royale high roblox #roblox #cybraskz

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maple-writes · 5 months

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My attempt to introduce Bristlecone:

Details subject to change without notice as I think of better ideas lol

Tagging @concealeddarkness13 since they said they were curious!

Text version under the cut:

Slide one: Bristlecone!

I am trying yet again to edit this story

Slide two: ... Bristlecone?

An older wip (finished last draft back in 2018)

Not sure if I’ll keep the title Bristlecone but I don’t have any better ideas either

I’m finally getting back to it (hopefully)

It’s editing/revising time now

Setting – fantasy with wild west inspiration (simply because I thought it would be neat)

Kind of a murder mystery, kind of a general mystery, kind of an adventure

Which means one of these characters could be the culprit… Or not… It’s a mystery…

Slide three: Viper (one of the POV characters)

That’s not her real name

Deputy of the Aristata and unofficially Winter’s girlfriend (They act as more than just working partners but neither has said anything to each other to acknowledge this)

Observant but tends to ignore her gut feelings

Loves horses, and is in charge of training them

Is unable to speak to people she doesn't know, and then can only manage a whisper

Has had a rough decade or so before joining the Aristata to say the least

Slide four: Honey Davis (the other POV character)

That’s not his real name

Was training to take Cecil’s place as a Mortician Mage until recent events stopped that

Newly recruited as a mercenary to the Aristata

He has some… Secrets (some of which he himself doesn’t even know)

Orphaned as a child when his parents were executed (for good reason)

Something off about him. Eyes shine at night like a cat.

Kind, gentle, and would have made a very good Mortician Mage

Slide five: Winter Balfouriana

This is her real name!

Leader and founder of the Aristata

Viper’s girlfriend

Last surviving member of fairly powerful/noble family of demon slayers

Prior to the “disaster” which killed her family, her mother had trained her in enchanted metalsmithing

Tenacious and strategic, and genuinely cares for her mercenaries

Respectful and fair

Slide six: Stark Jiang

Sees the best in people and tends to treat people as friends unless proven otherwise

Tbh to the point where it’s easy to forget he’s just as deadly as Viper

The first person to join Winter as a mercenary, before their little group even had a name

Pretty hard to rattle him and most of the time he’s just vibing

Very reliable and very trustworthy

Slide seven: Other people

Cecil Davis – Wayton’s Mortician Mage and the man who took in Honey after he was orphaned

Taiga – Cecil’s weird dog

Lady Alabaster – Countess of Vindale. She hired the Aristata to settle a conflict with a neighbouring Lord

Ren Alabaster – Lady Alabaster’s son (he’s gone missing)

Annie and Theo – The other two members of the Aristata

Slide eight: Stuff that's going on

Basically, Lady Alabaster’s son goes missing in the middle of the night

That same night Winter finds Honey alone in desert

The Aristata agree to stay under Lady Alabaster’s employment to try and find her son

So what happened to Ren Alabaster?

Is he even still alive?

What’s the deal with this Honey kid?

Could it perhaps be an issue that Viper doesn’t like to accept what she knows to be true and instead deny to avoid recognizing uncomfortable truths?

Who knows, could be anything!

Slide nine: ~worldbuilding~

It’s fantasy loosely based on wild west aesthetic

There are demons, there are gods and there are fae (technically all three are the same thing but it’s complicated)

Most of the story comes out of a place called Vindale, governed by Lady Alabaster

#wip intro #bristlecone #viper (character)#honey (character)#Winter (character)#stark (character)#trying to add character to the tags as to not get mixed up with actual snake posts or honey etc...

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bisexualdinahlance · 1 year

Text

I feel like fandom at large (like fandom spaces in general, no specific fandom) really needs to reevaluate the whole "everyone knows this person is queer/into this friend of the same gender but the person themselves" trend. Like, I get that some part of it is that fandom seems to love oblivious characters, but especially when it comes to gender and sexuality. The way it's handled in fandom is just... really uncomfortable.

I'm not sure if it's just my age (because the attitude and discussions surrounding queerness have obviously changed so incredibly much in the last decade alone) that makes this trope uncomfortable to me or what, but it reminds me so much of the stupid "gaydar" shit. And I don't mean like, the original gaydar as in queer people clocking other queer people, but like, when gaydar got taken up by straight people and they started "clocking" any vaguely effeminate man or masculine woman and claiming they knew they were gay.

I have such a clear memory of being the only (out, at least) queer person in a group of straight people, who during our semester abroad constantly speculated about the sexuality of another of our friends. Now, very likely, this friend is queer in some way (we fell out of contact so can't confirm), and he was definitely experiencing some internalized homophobia and some issues with toxic masculinity, but gods the way they talked about the fact that he must be gay and he just was too repressed to know it. Or that his culture's values was keeping him from exploring himself (the friend was a Chinese international student, so there was also a sprinkling of racism in there as well). They always seemed so smug and pitying that they knew him better than himself, and would be the same when I suggested that instead of gay maybe he was bisexual, because of course he must be just fooling himself.

And these are people who would claim they are excepting of gay people! That support gay marriage and have gay friends! But shit like this feels bad. Especially about something where so many of us struggle with it, struggle to come to terms with it, have to fight against what society taught us was and wasn't acceptable.

It often feels like this in fics, when a character comes out and every single friend is just like "yeah you didn't know you were gay why did you think you were so obsessed with this person?" or a person comes out and "it was supposed to be a secret?" like for some people being queer isn't still incredibly dangerous. And yeah there's something to be said for escapism, but there's ways to write accepting characters without basically implying a character is stupid for being worried and struggling with their sexuality. I don't want the family and friends of a ship to be homophobic even when it might be "period accurate", but yaknow, you can have escapism without invalidating real life fears.

I think also people don't understand that there is a difference between like, a parent having a feeling/knowing that their kid isn't straight, picking up the signs and remembering things that were said when they were children, and working to make sure the kid knows it's okay to come out to them. It's different to have a best friend (especially a queer best friend) quietly sit you down and be like "is there anything you need to tell me" or "I know you've been struggling and I think I might know why". It's different when maybe you and your friends have known this person all your life, and while you think they might be gay, you don't know for sure and you don't know if they're sure, but you will wait until they are ready to tell you because it is their shit to figure out, and it's their right to choose when to do so, but by the gods you will support them however you can.

It's also incredibly uncomfortable to constantly have characters be "super obvious" and "everyone knows something is going on" between two queer characters when neither of them are out, and it be treated as some sort of "haha they're so silly/dumb (affectionate) thinking it's a secret" like that couldn't be life or death for some folks. Especially in fandoms where it's like, canonically there is homophobia or it takes place in like, the 80s during the fucking AIDs crisis. (On a more lighthearted note, fandoms also I think put too much faith in people's ability to overcome heteronormativity, especially by the straight characters lol.)

I'm incredibly happy that people feel more comfortable being out and proud. Escapism and canons without homophobia are great and I'm glad we're getting more canons that are following the trends of like, WTNV where they're just like "lol yeah homophobia doesn't exist", but like, I just could really do without this leading to having characters make assumptions about other characters and then pitying them/making fun of them/looking down upon them for struggling. Like obviously, everyone has their own experiences, but so many fics now start to feel like we queers are being laughed at for being worried or struggling with our identities, instead of laughing with us.

Because sometimes yes, your journey to self discovery can be funny! Not denying that! I could write a whole book full of stupid things I or my friends or my friends partners did or excuses we told ourselves while we were still in denial about who we were. But I want to be laughed with not at and that's what a lot of fandom has been feeling like lately.

#gay shit #fandom wank #homophobia #aids epidemic m /#homophobia m /#racism m /#bc of the thing about my friend #this has been bothering me for ages and i finally managed to pin down my feelings about write something about it #idk i hated this in the omgcp fandom and im starting to really hate it in some of the stranger things fics too #gods omgcp was almost worse tho bc it became canon that they were bad at hiding the relationship #like.... the lead wasnt dating a fucking nhl player where he couldve fucking lost his job #and had so much shit happen to him by being outed unwillingly

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woodsfae · 6 days

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I genuinely feel like Housemate is doing strange, fucked-up things to Partner and I on purpose, but the extent to which I second-guess myself and go back-and-forth on it also sorta makes me feel like they are? It's just. So much.

From the beginning, sigh.

I met Partner in 2016, met Partner's best friend (hereafter "Tas," fake name, obvs) shortly thereafter. Tas is nonbinary, and I have always felt like they and their friend group put me in the "straight girl" mental box. They have always been standoffish and cold to me. I am also nonbinary, but I'm not superduper open about it? Like if we're friends, we've talked about my relationship to gender. And whenever I'm in a meet-n-greet circle that people are sharing their pronouns, I do say "they/she/he are all ok for me," (including Tas, because we've been in community organizing initiatives several times together) but hardly anyone ever uses anything other than "she" for me. I'm short and extremely busty and frequently wear dresses so I often think people -especially queer ppl, sadly- consider me to be a trendchasing "theyfab," and Tas's coldness to me has always indicated that to me, too.

Tas repeatedly hit on my sister and for literally two years straight the only time they initiated conversation with me was to ask if my sister got their texts. My sister told me she always responded to their texts and usually TAS was the one who didn't text HER back. My sister also never flirted back, because she doesn't like how Tas treats me.

Partner and I were openly polyamorous until the pandemic when we closed for health purposes. We were both dating other people when we met. Partner had a very brief relationship shortly after we started dating that went really badly. That person suddenly indicated they felt unsafe in their living situation and Partner drove more than 24 hours to pick them up and give them a safe landing spot. That person immediately freaked out whenever Partner even texted me. And did a lot of really weird passive-aggressive stuff to me whenever we saw each other. And was really controlling to Partner. Partner had just barely gotten them out of his apartment when Tas FREAKED THE FUCK OUT. And was like "I dated them so you should have known to check with me," and Partner was like...."you did? Oh...I dimly recollect like...years ago? Briefly?" and Tas was like "yeah, it was a few months and went badly and now you've broken my trust and will have to rebuild it. :| :|"

I thought this was bs but whatever, their friendship. They rebuilt it or whatever. but after that I cared a fuckload less about what Tas thought about me. But it was still stressful and upsetting that they were SO cold to me.

In 2020 I moved in with Partner and we locked down together. Until his apartment building was sold and the new owners DOUBLED HIS RENT with thirty days' notice. And then we were SOL because our city's cost of living was literally the highest in the country, adjusted for population, and vacancy was 0.2%. At the same time, Tas' house was sold and they were in basically the same boat. However. Tas and Partner both made enough and had just enough savings and parental help that they realized they could probably afford to buy a house together. And I was invited to live in the house, too, only I pay a little less because I'm not building equity as I'm not an owner. It was all very optimistic. Tas wanted to have a close, warm housemate relationship. We all planned game nights, shared dinners, shared grocery staples etc etc. We had multiple meetings about it and I was very optimistic about it all. Tas was more friendly and open to me during those few months than ever before or since.

We moved in and Tas immediately was standoffish and cold again, but not only to me, but also to Partner, their supposed best friend of over a decade. This hurt Partner tremendously. They would go to another room whenever either of us entered it, then text us random house things from the other room. They went back on all the dinners/game nights/etc we had agreed on. Partner and I extended invitations for MONTHS. It wore on Partner considerably, and me too. But Partner was losing his best friend with NO explanation.

Tas started texting Partner requests for "house meetings," except I wasn't invited. And then Tas would postpone the meetings with only a few hours' notice, or sometimes wouldn't show up, and then would postpone belatedly. And when the meetings did happen it would be like "I feel like the vibe is off in the house and it hurts me."

like wtf.

Partner would be like "Tas had a bad childhood and their parents basically waged psychological warfare on them and it's hard for them," and I'd be like….. "BABE YOU AND ME HAD THAT HAPPEN TOO." And Partner would be like "they had [medical thing] that caused a traumatic brain injury and their memory is really bad because of it…" and I'd be like "me and my five concussions and literal Post-Concussion Syndrome would like a word." He's just trying to find his peace, because it has been seriously hard on him. He's cried on me so many times about Tas since we moved in together. And there's really no justification for being a relentless asshole, imho.

Tas and I had a shared goal of transforming our lawn into a garden/natural plants pollinator space. Tas and I spent hours and hours working on this. Their back is objectively more fucked up than mine so I did more of the super-hard labor, but we both worked really hard on it. We talked about sharing the garden beds and what the division would look like….and then I came home and Tas had planted all the garden beds with the things they wanted and left me no room for anything.

Last year I decided to take a little corner of the yard that was only weeds and plant some sweetgrass. I checked with Tas multiple times they didn't want that corner for anything. I mentioned it multiple times. then I planted my sweetgrass with a little berm I built. And I mean it's LITTLE. If I made a circle with my arms, it would fit in that circle with my fingers touching.

A few weeks ago I went out and Tas had been clearing out the dead leaves/stems from the yard and garden and piled all the compost waste right on top of my sweetgrass patch. my tiny little patch that is only about 2 feet by 2 feet at most.

That hurt my feelings more than I thought possible. I was so so hurt. My only little patch of garden. I cleared it off, pulled some of the weeds I had left in to help enrich the soil, so it would look more tidy and visually distinct, and went and told Tas their compost pile had ended up on my sweetgrass so I had moved the compost over a little. Then I painted a bunch of rocks and ringed my sweetgrass space with the colorful rocks so it would be even more visually distinct and obvious.

I feel so defeated and sad. I don't know why Tas is being like this. I hate living here, and Partner and I both wish we had moved into a van or something instead.

We are nice to Tas. We still offer up game nights and dinners. We watch their special needs dog ALL THE TIME. Tas pays their friends to watch the dog when we can't, but never offers us a cent. Tas refuses to speak to us about almost anything. They insisted on a mask-inside and checking with housemates about guests rule in lockdown, then broke it immediately and never checked with us about any guests. The mutual friends we do have mostly started being even weirder and colder to me after we moved in together, and I genuinely think they're trashtalking me to our mutual acquaintaince group. I go out of my way to be friendly and ask about their plans and things, but they actively hide their plans from both of us. They will just suddenly be gone for 2-3 days, or have dinner parties, or out of town people over.

A few years ago they had a dinner party on Partner's birthday, with many of Partner's friends invited, and didn't tell Partner they were having people over or anything. It wasn't for Partner's bday, it was just a totally unrelated dinner party ON his bday, in his house, with his friends, that he wasn't invited to. It was so cruel I honestly have trouble believing my own memory that it happened.

They went on a long vacation and brought me a "present" for watching their dog. The worst and least-functional butter dish with no lid that I've ever seen and doesn't even sit flat. Oh, and it matches the utensil-rest they got themself??

They are always civil to my face, but I always always feel like they dislike me. It's exhausting. I wish we could move, but housing prices are still incredibly high, loan rates are terrible, and Partner feels trapped into this house ownership. We both wish we had done literally anything else in 2020 than moving in with Tas.

right this minute Partner is being yanked around by Tas with another house meeting. can't wait to find out what bad vibes are our fault, now.

#and there's so much more ugh #i don't know what to do i just want it to stop #woodsfae #rant #housemates

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kingdomkeykitsune · 9 months

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KHOC WEEK 2023 DAY 3: FRIENDS OR LOVERS

I will never not love this sketch and I'll pull it out any given opportunity I swear.

So, Kimbri has a LOT of interpersonal connections that mean a lot to her, but a little fun fact I've shared before and will likely share again is that it's thanks to @khoc-week that she has an official ship! Kimbri and Leon's relationship got it's start with the original KHOC Week's AU day prompt where I drew a silly little Shoujo AU where Kimbri had a crush on Leon. (I was a bit late to that prompt, didn't post it until the 6th but I drew it the day before so their anniversary is August 5th!) Things just grew from there, and now I couldn't imagine not having this ship!

Anyway, into the lore! I'll just hit the highlights about who her most important people are. These are listed in no particular order

Leon, of course. The love of her life, her sweet lion. Couldn't imagine a life without him at this point, and thankfully she'll never have too.

Aerith, her best friend and a sort of surrogate sister figure.

Ienzo, since they were both wards of Ansem the Wise she considers him her little brother.

Vega, her biological big brother who went missing during the Fall, he's the one she's searching for.

Cloud, a close friend (and in some AUs an additional romantic partner, poly ftw) She is often frustrated with his constant disappearing acts.

Sora, she basically adopted him as an additional little brother after meeting him during KH1.

Echo, in Sister AU Echo gets the same treatment as her brother, becoming a beloved ray of sweetness and sunshine in Kimbri's life.

Cid, he's been her surrogate father figure for the past decade or so since the Fall.

Vincent, also fills the role of a surrogate father, but in a different way than Cid does.

Rosa, the mysterious woman who ran Traverse Town's only restaurant, she provided a nurturing feminine presence in Kimbri's life that had previously been sorely lacking as all her parental figures since her birth parents passed had been men.

Merlin, he taught her most of what she knows about magic after she lost her memories of most of Ansem's teachings for reasons unknown to her.

Orihime, Sora and Echo's mother. She doesn't meet her until very late in the story but she quickly becomes very dear to her, reminding of her birth mother in the most comforting way.

Ansem the Wise, her uncle and guardian with whom she currently has a strained relationship. She loves him dearly but it's hard to reconcile that with the horrible things that happened under his watch, including her own trauma to do with the Apprentices' experiments.

And then there's a few that haven't been born yet

These are Leon and Kimbi's kiddos, who are of course some of her most precious people! Ariav and Nova are twins!

Ariav, the eldest, Mama's little helper who's always trying to fix things for her.

Nova, the middle child, strong willed and independent her mother is one of the few people who can reign her in without a fight.

Zephyr, the youngest, the biggest Mama's boy in the group, loves to sit and read or learn about magic with her. (He takes after Kimbri's father's side of the family so that's why he doesn't look much like the rest of the family. He also got Mama's "gets cold easily gene poor bab.)

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autumnhobbit · 3 months

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Hi! I was hoping you could talk more about not having friends (at least those around your age), like the reasons behind it and how its impacted you? I'm asking because I get it all too well! My three closest---and, let's be real, ONLY---friends are women I met decades ago, and none of them live within two hours of me so I hardly ever see them at all. Plus, they have lives of their own, and a lot of our friendship is based more on habit and history than anything we share in the present, you know?

Well, I actually did have a decent group of friends in high school, & growing up I felt like I had a lot of friends because you know how it is when you’re a kid, you see somebody and find them interesting, they’re your friend, you both like the color yellow? You’re friends now. But it feels kind of surreal sometimes to think about the fact that I had a friend group in high school because I see myself as such a loner/so fundamentally unlikeable that it kind of doesn’t make sense that I had several friends who I knew from other people did genuinely like hanging out with me.

I’m sure people would like to blame my being homeschooled but frankly I think I had maybe too much unencumbered social interaction as a homeschooled kid, if anything I think the way it was treated was more, hey, the other kids are the same religion as you and are also homeschooled so do whatever there’s no problems. I still dealt with bullying, I’m sure I to some extent bullied others myself. I grew up in a pretty tight-knit homeschool group that had its own dramas and messes and when the official ‘group’ fell apart we still all hung out and went to each others sacraments and such. Anyway, the reason I think it’s relevant to mention is because basically every friendship I had was from this group.

I had one girl I considered my best friend growing up because we had known each other literally our whole lives and we were both the oldest girls in our family, and as previously mentioned were both Catholic & homeschooled. And I was way invested in it. Like, we were gonna be in each other’s weddings type stuff. And I always assumed we’d stay friends. But when we got to being around teenaged she got way big into school (her parents made all the kids get into college early and take dual enrollment/sign up for every scholarship & award) and they never had time to hang out. And even when we did, I was finding that I had different ideas about what I wanted in my life, and she couldn’t understand that & also couldn’t accept it. I feel now that I was somewhat defensive since my viewpoint was so hated in the for some reason weirdly obsessive white-collar community that was the homeschool group, but I would have been accepting of her plans and choices if she had been accepting of mine. But eventually I got tired of always being criticized and beat over the head with my ‘wrong’ decisions and I just stopped initiating, and as soon as I did it was like. Radio silence. Once in a while she’d still talk to me if we were in the same place (some of our siblings are still friends), if she wasn’t busy with her boyfriend. And then she didn’t talk to me at all, and she moved and we haven’t spoken since.

I had other friends in high school, but one by one everybody else moved and got married and started their lives, and I just couldn’t. I was stuck at home with my abusive dad messing all my attempts at independence up and I had no job prospects & didn’t want to go to college. Nowhere to go, nothing to look forward to.

Looking back, I acknowledge part of it was my fault, because I’m one of those people who just assumes that if you want to talk to me you will, and if you don’t talk to me it’s just because you don’t want to. Some people stayed in contact when they left and are still friends with them today. But I didn’t have the capacity to reach out at the time, if it had even occurred to me, so I just let things die. Now I know that from their end it must have looked like I didn’t care too much about them, either, so of course they didn’t talk to me. It’s something I regret, but can’t change now. My problem isn’t lack of caring about people, it’s lack of knowing what my place in anyone’s life is. And I’m still not great at that, tbh. If somebody says ‘we should get together sometime’ I don’t know whether to push for it, even if I miss the person and want to see them too, and so things just slide and before you know it I haven’t seen someone in seven years.

Nowadays I just genuinely don’t know many people my age, and I don’t see them, even. My assumption is people my age are either busting their asses working, in graduate school, already have kids, or what have you, and none of us have the time or energy for others who aren’t in our lane already. Zach’s the first friend I’ve made in a long time, and I probably wouldn’t have if he hadn’t initiated because he saw & was interested in me. And it’s a source of stress for me, because at the same time that I have so much baggage with friendships and feel really jaded and lonely like I’m just not worth being friends with or other people aren’t worth my effort for nothing, I believe friendship is worthwhile and sacred and important and that cultivating them are incredibly important life skills, but I just. Don’t have it in me to do it, and it really feels pointless and hopeless to me. I have some great internet friends, but you can’t at the drop of a hat go antiquing, or go try that new ice cream place, or go to a movie or go to the park, or take a walk or do housework, or any of the millions of things I’d like to share with people. Mostly, I just miss talking. You can’t have the same sorts of conversations with older adults you can have with someone your age who’s going through the same things you are. I have no one to tell when I got my dream job, or promoted. I’ll probably have no one to tell when I finally get a house or a dog, or have a kid, or write a book, or any of those things. And I know I need to change it before it’s too late but I just can’t find the drive to when I’m still so effed up from the last time.

I wish this were more positive or had some sort of ‘but,’ but right now, for me, it doesn’t. I pray sometimes, when I think of it, for God to help me find a good friend, or maybe someone who needs a good friend, and to recognize it and jump on it when I see it. But so far it seems like that’s just not something I can have for right now.

#personal #i’m sorry this is so long but i’m genuinely fucked up on this topic lol #hopefully no one i know sees this #i don’t know if this is helpful at all but it’s the truth so maybe someone will at least not feel like they’re #particularly diseased in this way like i do

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renren-writes · 11 months

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So let me get this right, in a possible AU where YJH and YSA are trigger happy and decide Unaliving is the best course of action when dealing with Heo Suji, well, that’s a shit timeline. But let’s explore the ways it can go.

OPTION 1)

Heo Suji is dead, death is covered up a crime of circumstance and no one ever finds the perpetrator. His funeral is solemn and his parents never stop trying to find why. There’s absolutely nothing. No proof, no leads, nothing.

Kim Dokja, however, is aware of who did it. He doesn’t know the reason that made Yoo Sooah and Yoo Joonghyun do so and he frankly doesn’t give a shit. But there’s no proof no matter how much he digs and throughout the years Kim Dokja finds himself contemplating many, many ways to prove this. At first, finding clues and proving their involvement. Then despair at realizing he cannot do so. Then he starts wondering if it’d be easier to kill them.

Everyone had told him the loss would get better. Everyone said his best friend would wish Dokja live a good life. Everyone said, said, said, saidsaidsaidsaid—

It doesn’t get better. Kim Dokja is suffocating in this world.

What should I do, Suji? Please tell me.

Then the scenarios happen. There’s no thrill or terror or disbelief of his - their - novel becoming a reality, instead, Kim Dokja turns his eyes to the thing that’s finally accessible to him: Revenge.

Option 2)

Heo Suji is dead. Same circumstances and lack of proof, only a cooling body in a casket and the absence of the boy in this world. Kim Dokja despairs, and tries to put it past him, but it doesn’t get better with time. While he suspected Yoo Sangah and Yoo Joonghyuk, it’s basically the same as he treated everyone— during that time, he suspected everyone except Suji’s parents.

He finds out way down the road when the scenarios have already started. He has bonds with KimCo. The betrayal is immense and horrifying. Here are things he can do:

1) It creates a rift forever between him, Yoo Sangah and Yoo Joonghyuk. This betrayal will never be forgotten and forgiven no matter how many trials they are forced to go through, because Kim Dokja wants this world to have a happy ending no matter how it feels like his world is breaking apart. He is very, very angry at them, and this could also result in them splitting off as a group and only coming together for mandatory scenarios.

2) Kim Dokja quietly plots to kill Yoo Sangah and Yoo Joonghyuk, depending on how thin or deep their bonds run. Because he is a scheming rat he plans and plans for it. Anna Croft has nothing on Kim Dokja.

Option 3)

Heo Suji is dead.

No one knows Heo Suji is dead.

They list him as missing or a runaway from his home. No one can contact him or see him and there’s not even a body to confirm his death. He vanishes from the face of earth, but let’s say somehow in this case that everyone thinks he ran away and isn’t dead.

Kim Dokja doesn’t believe it at first, but the intrusive thoughts later on win over — he lives his highschool years more quiet than he’s ever been, thinking “ah, it’s expected after all” that his best friend abandoned him because Kim Dokja wasn’t enough.

Heo Suji is unmourned for over a decade. His body is rotting some place no one except YJH and YSA know, and even then, circumstances might have made it so even they don’t know either. No grave, no funeral, no body.

Kim Dokja finds about his death years later.

Going from thinking your best friend abandoned you to learning he was killed in their young highschool years is… not fun.

It doesn’t get any better.

all three of these are delicious, anon, but option three is by far the most destructive for dokja and i love it

thinking you were abandoned over several years, and then that sudden and crushing realisation that no, you weren't abandoned, you were forcibly separated from him

it's perfection

#ren speaks #and i can confidently say all three situations have the rat on his demon time

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catastrophe-sandwich · 1 year

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A little while back Google sent me an ultimatum. Pay 24 bucks a month for my and my parents Google accounts, or lose access to all my email, purchases, books, photos, decades of history. Flickr did the same thing. Cloudflare, another company I loved, got into the business of platforming the alt right. Microsoft bought GitHub and stole everyone's code for their AI training.

All these things that I liked, even loved, existed solely to be bought out, upsold or flipped for a profit and gutted. Maybe not immediately. But there's really one goal in capitalism, and that's extracting as much value from the thing as you can.

I quite love my MacBook. It's easily the best computer I've ever owned. But on the flip side I have friends I just can't contact because they use iPhones. My mum wants to know why she can't FaceTime me, and I have friend groups with group chats I'm not invited to because I use Android. This was a deliberate, documented decision by Apple to lock everyone into their ecosystem and extract as much value as they can with the least effort possible.

I fucking hate it.

But if anything has made me any more anticapitalist it's Elon.

Fucking Elon.

Twitter was a product that I loved. 15 years ago I joined, on a whim, because it was doing the same thing I was trying to make my blog do. Little updates in the sidebar. I never imagined it would have such a big impact on my life.

I think I was 21. Damn. I basically grew up on Twitter. Living through my 20s with (initially SMS access, but eventually) a permanent uplink to the hive mind which shaped who I am today. Initially I was just broadcasting my thoughts, which reflected my narrow worldview at the time. But it slowly became more of a community thing and opened my eyes to the larger world around me.

#btub was a monthly meetup of Brisbane folks, The Brisbane Twitter User Brigade. A hodgepodge group of internet weirdos who would rock up to Greystone Bar and just hang out together. Network. Get drunk. We had those cheesy "hello my name is" stickers which we'd write our Twitter handles on (@goAshley!). It was hilariously dorky, but I loved it in an ironic sort of way.

At its peak we filled the entire deck area and went late into the night.

Through the years I met some of my best and closest friends on Twitter, through btub and otherwise. Eventually it became maybe not mainstream, but a lot less about community. But it was still my uplink to all my internet friends. Any moment of the night or day I could pull out my phone and not be alone. Or sometimes be more alone than I ever was, depending.

I always said I would leave Twitter when they introduced ads in the feed. They introduced ads years ago, but I still loved that place. They introduced the algorithmic timeline that amplified hate and surfaced other people's anxieties to make them yours. But I stuck around because you could turn that off. Jack Dorsey introduced crypto to the platform and I still stuck around, reluctantly, because that's where all my internet friends were.

Then Elon Musk.

I was willing to see it through because I used to like the place. But I don't think anyone was prepared for the speed it devolved. Elon seems to be an outlier in this tale of capitalist bulldozing, because there's no motive here other than that he appears to be a complete fucking idiot. But nevertheless It's clear he has no respect for this thing that we have collectively loved, and he's certainly not going to make it a safe or pleasant place to be from now on.

It's heartbreaking. The end of an era. All because the rich man wanted to own the internet.

The hive mind, my avian companion, custodian and curator of my thoughts existed solely to be bought out, flipped for a profit and gutted. Fucking capitalism.

Anyway this whole post came about because I love Automattic. They do really good stuff and Tumblr is lovely…

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nyctarian · 1 year

Text

2022 best and worst reads

The best and worst things I read this year, not necessarily that were published this year:

Best Nonfiction:

The Death of WCW by R.D. Reynolds and Bryan Alvarez

I listened to the audiobook for this, read by Bryan Alvarez (who, if you are a wrestling fan you will be aware of; he is very Bryan Alvarez in the reading, without going full yelling blokes madness bryan alvarez) and as WCW going out of business is frequently referenced without any context by wrestling fans, so a book that actually explained all of that was very interesting and informational, especially as someone who only became a wrestling fan well after that death happened. I specifically listened to the 2014 updated version of the book, so more up to date than the original while not quite in line with the modern wrestling landscape, but obvi still was compelling and interesting.

Nixonland by Rick Perlstein

I also listened to the audiobook for this one, not the best reader voice but it didnt detract from it. This book was a chronicle of the rise and fall of richard nixon, going very in depth on how he got to the position of power he got to, and how he fucked himself right out of that same power. For straightforward american presidential history of a certain era, from someone with leftist politics, tracking rises in reactionary thinking in american society you cant really go wrong with Perlstein. After this one I started listening to the spiritual successor, the invisible bridge (about the way america went from nixon to reagan style politics) but i havent finished it yet, as it had some redundancies with this one, and as it was very depressing at times, lol. Good solid history book, very long, rarely boring, packed to the gills with shit I didnt know about ol tricky richard nixon.

Best Fiction:

The Cook by Maylis de Kerangal

This was a very short book, packed with beautiful imagery of food, with an unnamed narrator telling the life of a cook that they are a friend of. It was an incredibly quick read, it immediately made me want to check out some of the authors other works, and it was simplistic and elegant.

Chalice by Robin McKinley

I am always hoping to find a standalone fairytale-esque original piece of fiction with a likeable main character, a mystery of a plot, and a quiet romance. This hit the spot perfectly. Any fantasy novel that does extensive worldbuilding that doesnt overwhelm the reader, and has a magic system that is interesting and doesnt explain everything but not convoluted, is always of interest to me. When I finished it I just wanted more books that didnt replicate any of the storybeats, but did replicate the tone and style of the book.

No One Is Talking About This by Patricia Lockwood

This one. Hmm. I heard lots of very good things about it and scoffed every time because it sounded stupid. Eventually I gave it a shot because I passed by it on our New Arrivals shelf at work enough times and I finished it in basically two days and it nearly made me cry at work. So. It is an Incredibly Online book, and as such parts of it didn't work and were cringe for me, and parts of it hit the part of my brain thats been on twitter for nearly a decade very well. The first half is basically just observation shitpost tweets of someones life, and the second half is an incredibly tender exploration of disability and parenting. The bits I didn't like were so stupid I would groan outloud but as I was reading it all I wanted to do was read it, and when I finished it I knew it was unquestionable going on my year end list. It also had lots of really beautiful imagery tucked in it.

Pure Color by Sheila Heti

Mentally I group this one with No One Is Talking About This even though I read them months apart and they are Very Different books. This was another one that I had seen effusive praise for, but the praise intrigued me instead of making me scoff. I ended up reading it when we had it in another of our New Arrivals displays and the beginning hooked me immediately with its dreamy contemplative tone. This book is not fantasy but it is, and it has a very philosophical interest in humanity existence. The bits I didn't like were also things that made me groan, but because they felt Trying To Hard To Be Thoughtful, and I didn't love the ending, but when I finished it couldn't stop thinking about it. It talks a lot about love and grief in ways that I didn't always like, and I think if I were to read it now I might hate it, but it absolutely stuck in my ribs.

Mairelon the Magician by Patricia C. Wrede

This makes the list but not the sequel as the sequel toiled far to much in the historical fiction elements and not enough on the fantasy mystery parts, but the character dynamics were fun and the story was simple. This is the type of YA/Middlegrade that I would have loved as a kid. The book is about a girl street urchin befriending a real magicians pretending to be a fake magician because he's wanted for a crime he didnt commit, and the subsequent solving of the crime. I like fun mysteries and fantasies that take place in the real world with lots of worldbuilding so this hit the spot for me. Reading it made me want to reread Ellen Raskin's The Tattooed Potato and Other Clues (which i did end up doing) so even though they are very different, they hit that same sort of weird midgrade mystery note. I think I started this after seeing it recommended for people who liked chalice, but it hit very different notes for me, even if it has similar beats of mystery fantasy stuff.

Burn for Me by Ilona Andrews

I read this book and then i read the four sequels to it in less than two weeks, a very fast clip for me. It was sufficiently dumb fun urban fantasy mystery romance, with likeable characters and silly plots. The sixth book in the series (the first three books are focused on one character, the next three on her younger sister, presumably the authors will write more about the third sister etc) didnt come out until five and a half months after i finished the fifth book, and i ended up dnf'ing it because the plot had gotten to absurd, with previously poor main characters now ridiculously overpowered and wealthy. If it had been out when i was reading the others I probably would have plowed through it because thats the type of mindset i was in when i was reading them. I almost didnt include it in the list but i had such dumb fun when i was enjoying them and it scratched the mystery fantasy itch, as is evident, i was very into this year, as I was pretty burned out on shitty bad adult romcom esque novels.

Book Lovers by Emily Henry

However, some authors have the goods for adult romcom esque novels and emily henry is that for me. I've enjoyed each of her books that I've read so far (only the adult ones, though im aware she's also written ya). I liked this one much more than her last one, though still not as much as I enjoyed the first one I read by her, Beach Read. Her books hit just enough of the expected tropes in a romcom novel (this one very selfawarely so) that they are breezy reads, while avoiding a lot of the annoying pitfalls that bring down other books of the genre. She also writes characters that are likable, another thing other authors of the genre are largely incapable of doing. I'll also use this space for a special mention to the short story she wrote putting together the three couples from her books in the same setting, as it was a good way of highlighting the differences of the characters, and with them all broadly existing in similarly literary settings it made sense to have them in the same world. Altogether she's a solid author for a fun breezy read with good relationship building for characters, very few "ah come on wtf" moments that most of the genre are riddled with, and a decent plot.

Worst:

Love Scenes by Bridget Morissey

Maybe this shouldnt make the list because i barely remember any of it, other than that the main character was dull and that the story was dumb. Like Funny You Should Ask, and most romcoms that take place in some media environment, it just read as really misinformed the entire time for how like. The Real World Works. Referring to my goodreads updates i made it about 12-15% into the book before i started hating it.

Good Girls Die First by Kathryn Foxfield

Failed as a slasher, failed as a ya mystery, failed as a supernatural thriller. The ending is one of the dumbest things ive ever read in my entire life, and the whole enterprise reminded me that i am too old for even the most 'i just need something shallow and dumb to read' ya.

Spoiler Alert by Olivia Dade

This is a book that really is the most "oh you are writing self insert fanfiction about game of thrones" that ive ever read. The author thanks game of thrones fanfiction authors in her acknowledgements. It was bad, and really made the argument that fangirls shouldnt be allowed to write books, and that especially no one should write any more fangirl geek chic romcoms. Enough.

Meet Me In The Margins by Melissa Ferguson

A lot of books these days, especially romcom books, take place in the literary environment, with main characters who are authors librarians or otherwise adjacent to the industry. To an extent this makes sense, as authors are inherently going to be interested in books, and writing, and thats something thats easy to give a character as an interest. I've done it for my oc's, its been done successfully in books that ive liked by authors like emily henry above. this book. was not successful. On goodreads, i had almost 40 progress updates on the book as i read it, and i dnf'd at 52%. As someone who cares about books, and good books, and would like a healthy publication industry, this book annoyed me on those merits, and in the half of the book i read the relationship was never developed enough for the book to even attempt to be anything more than a vessel for a very dysfunctional ideology about the publication industry from an author who is attempting to cater to an audience that doesnt read anything except ya. Here are two mean things i said about it as i was reading:

Funny You Should Ask by Elissa Sussman

This book committed the gravest sin any book can commit: it had the audacity to be boring and bad, despite the fact that I had anticipated reading it. The main character was woe is me full of herself, while reading as much younger than she was written (with the back and fourth flashback plot style really highlighting that she doesnt seem like someone who grew at any point in time). It doesnt really understand how journalism works, or hollywood, and it didnt do any building up of the fake media landscape it would have lived in. If a character in your book is a writer of some acclaim the exerpts should be good, or shouldnt be included. The main character also went to my actual irl real life for real alma matter, and boy, did she remind me of the worst girlies i went to school with. I had over 30 goodreads updates as i read this book, basically all bitching about it. I ended up skipping huge chunks because it also wasnt a compelling bad read, it was terminally dull the entire time. Also the whole plot was about a fictional celebrity and fictional journalist/essayist author and all that, but couldnt come up with a fake media ip for the character to be cast in so it talks about james bond the whole time, and it takes away huge from the already bad story, lol. I am forcing myself to stop writing this one because i could keep going it was such a disappointment.

#sorry for not really explaining plot like i typically do a) procrastinated until right now b) several of these are not really plot-y plots #also same two why i dont really get into characters lmao sorry #this list is really for future me anyways #book recs #2022 #personal

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chrysolipsist · 6 months

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My cat is has cancer and things are going so fast it's alarming. He was perfectly normal about a month ago but he started having trouble with one side of his mouth. They checked him out and he had an infection and they gave him antibiotics but while his infection went away he was still having problems. It was a growth. Within a couple weeks it had grown from being basically nothing into this mass that was taking over part of his face. And a couple weeks bigger it's making him have a hard time keeping his mouth completely closed and it's even starting to push up into his eye. It's grotesque.

Amid this situation I had to have my own personal body horror unfold which was that I had an ingrown toenail that had to be operated on and now I'm changing the dressing on a horrific wound in the shape of where my big toe's toenail used to be which is now just a little blood red indentation that will, apparently, require about two weeks to start healing and a month to heal completely. It is alarming that you can get something that takes you out so fucking quickly, in how my cat went from being 100% normal to be obviously on borrowed time, in what seems like the blink of an eye.

The only other time I had to deal with a dead pet so directly was when a cat I had when I was a kid got hit by a car. That was pretty upsetting. But I don't remember having the sort of lingering sadness that I have had with the downfall of my current cat. Maybe because we got him about a year after my son was born and so it seemed like he was the cat of the period of our lives that will likely prove to be one of the best parts of our lives, in retrospect. Not that my wife and I are super decrepit, but, I have been having minor surgeries lately and a decade and a half ago I was in tip-top shape, relatively speaking. Fifteen years of doing science has put a lot of miles on both my body and my brain, and I couldn't do as good a job now as I was able to do back then for those things that require more energy than experience. I remember we used to use these baby bottles that were specially made to prevent colic and they had all these parts that had to be cleaned out using a brush. We had a whole system to wash and dry out all the parts. So much effort. Our house used to be so fucking clean, at one time. Today my house is more like my parents' had become by the time they were the age I am now.

Come to think of it, fifteen years prior to me becoming a parent I was approaching the age my son now is (15). I mean I didn't have him when I was exactly 30 but it seems like 15 years, in a very approximate sense, is kind of a pivotal measure of time in the life that many people seem to have. Or perhaps it's 7; they say it takes about seven years for all of your body's cells to have died and been replaced, so that in essence every seven years you are essentially a new person. It just strikes me that about every seven years you enter a new stage in life. Childhood is constantly changing but age seven-- or perhaps between five and nine-- is probably where we start to have that part of childhood where we gain independence from needing constant supervision to knowing things like, if you stick something metal into the light socket, you will die very painfully. And the next inflection point that, while it does vary wildly, you cross the threshold into puberty, and your personality changes. Your personality then seems to require about the same amount of time to settle, and it seems like people come into their own at around maybe 21 on average. Some people sooner, others later, of course. The next phase of life seems to occur at around age 28. Lots of marriages and births start to happen among your friend group. That seems to be the trend for the next seven years, your late twenties and early to mid thirties. Marriages and births. The next turning point, age 35. Your late thirties. Not quite as interesting to hear about marriages and births by now. For me this was the time when I settled into my career. I had been working on it the whole time but this is when I really got a grasp on my personality with respect to my line of work. That is probably the story of the next septennial, above all. For me personally this is about when my kid was reaching age seven and, with his growing independence, more of my own attention could fall back on myself. So probably others fall into something other than their work and career. That's just what I chose to do. And that brings me to the next start of the cycle, 42, which is just about where I'm at. From there I can only speculate because I don't know the mood of the next era yet. I've only barely passed the entrance. I have certainly been more philosophical about this. There's definitely a change in the feeling of being alive that has been occurring. I think a lot of us attribute the change to turning 40, but I think it's actually the start of the next 7-year period, and you actually don't really get the feeling until you're a couple years into your forties. At least for me there is a little bit of change. There's been time enough to think about whether the things you did to try to steer your life in a certain direction in the previous time period worked, or if they didn't. And to reflect on that, and to know--or seem to know, probably; I don't doubt a future self may know better still, although it's possible they only think that because they have come to care about different things--a little better what matters and what doesn't. The mood of the next septennial seems to hinge around that. As for what comes next, I don't know. 42 to 49, 49 to 56... 56, 63, 70, 77, 84... doesn't it seem like 7 years is maybe the maximum precision with which we can guess someone's age if they're over 50? Like, you could say that someone is, late-50s/early-60s? There does seem to be a bit of a seven year resonance in the life of a human.

Getting back to my cat, the thing that gives me the most comfort to accept his situation is that, although this thing happened to him, anything can happen to any of us at any time and this is no different than getting hit by a stray bullet except it takes a lot longer for the damage to unfold. And, this cat experienced what was probably the "best" years of our lives for a cat to have lived through. The time when we were the most attentive and energetic. Not that we're quite so far in now, but the mood of our age is just different. We've moved on to different things. We've gotten a better idea--or just "different" idea--of what we want to do with our lives. I don't know if these things are generalizable to anyone. Maybe every one has their own sort of resonance, but for me it seems like every seven years the next phase of life seems to be distinctly different. I wonder if I could pick any number and convince myself of the same thing? If I were to say, six, for instance: 6, 12, 18, 24, 30, 36, 42, 48, 54, No, no, it's not as convincing.

You dope, this is just plain old numerology type bullshit. Is this basically what spirituality is, the way to "feel" like something is the truth? Do some people just do that kind of thing all the time, just cast their will into the wind and let some current catch it? They simply allow their feeling of truth take hold of whatever idea is the most convenient for the situation? "Of course I believe in the God of my Country, because that is the country I was born in, and therefore it's completely obvious that my belief is the correct one, because why wouldn't it be? You can't tell me any different." Are there really people out there whose brains work this way? Your assertations about the number seven are spiritual. They espouse a sort of untestable hypothesis about the function of seven rotations of your planet about its sun seem to shape human life with a kind of periodicity. I think you could pick pretty much any number with which to subdivide your lifetime and get a feeling of having distinct differences from one era to the next. The resolution of life, maybe is what I mean. So if I have not discovered any sort of truth, I have at least found a way to describe the concept as a sort of potential mathematical idea. So even if it's not real, at least it will be interesting.

#weed thoughts

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