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jemmo · 4 months

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Making sense of love for love's sake: the game

Despite all the things i absolutely adore about how the plot unravels and expands in love by love's sake, upon first watch, there's some things i couldn't piece together, which @lurkingshan echoes in their post:

'The way the author was messing with Myungha and forcing cruel choices on him really does not track with a desire to help him find happiness.'

And to preface, this is not something i fully get yet either. I think i'll need a good month and a sizeable reading list of relevant resources to understand just what/who this author/sunbae is and what his role is and how he is associated with myungha. But as always with the best shows for meta (aka bad buddy), as a plot unfolds, you can always find a better understanding by looking backwards and re-contextualising what you've already seen. so i watched ep 1, specifically the scene between myungha and his sunbae at the bar. And i will talk about how everything said in this scene has a whole new meaning now we know the full story, but for now i wanna focus on that question that they keep coming back to; "Then... will you change it for him?".

When you watch the show for the first time, your brain follows the simplest, most obvious version of the story you're being told, one where myungha has been pulled into the world of his sunbae's novel that's being turned into a game and given the opportunity to fix the thing he didn't like about it; making yeowoon happy, and thus you just think the rules of the game are imposed by the author, and so when these cruel choices first come up, you see them as the difficult roadblocks that are nevertheless necessary to any kind of game, forcing the player to make an impossible choice so that the game can continue in a certain direction and its only after that you learn whether it was the right choice or not, or there is no right choice, it simply changes the game you are playing.

And when its revealed what this game actually is, at first i tried to interpret these cruel choices, namely the choice between yeonwoon and myungha's grandma, and at best i could come up with the concept of this being a choice between staying stuck to the past aka choosing his grandma, even though he knows that choice doesn't mean she's safe bc he knows the future where he loses here, its an inevitability, but thats the small happiness he knew before it was taken away and thus that happiness is known and safe, theres no risk, versus choosing to pursue a new happiness, a love of yeowoon and thus himself, which he doesn't know, he hasn't experienced yet, and could be risky. Its a happiness that isn't guaranteed like his grandma, but its a happiness that looks to the future and has hope in it that he can find a new happiness to pursue despite what has happened in his past.

And that fits nice, okayish. But then i watched ep 1 and heard that question "Then... will you change it for him?" And watching through the rest of the eps, we come back to this scene at the bar and each time we get a new run up to the author asking this question, either new dialogue is added or we hear a different piece of the conversation entirely. It starts at the beginning of ep 1 as:

"Because Cha Yeowoon is the only one who's miserable." "It can't be helped that some people's lives are like that" "The fact that some people are destined to live that kind of life is what's vile."

Then a bit later in ep 1 we go back and its expanded.

"It can't be helped that some people's lives are like that" "The fact that some people are destined to live that kind of life is what's vile." "Why? Do you think you'd write it differently?" "Yes, definately. Someone like Cha Yeowoon, or someone like me with an awful life, can also be happy."

And then all the way on in ep 6, we get this new dialogue.

"I don't like talking about destiny." "Why?" "Because it means everything is predestined." "Then do you not believe in fate?" "Fate and destiny are the same. My grandma likes to say that. She said life is like a written book, and how you'll live and die are written in it. (...)I don't like things like this. Even if fate is already destined, I think it can still be changed. Otherwise, there's no point in trying." "Really? Then Myungha..."

And while we don't hear the author ask the same question, I feel like him getting cut off like that insinuates that the conversation leads to that same ending point. All that is to say, every time we hear this question being asked, its like we learn more and more about what this whole thing is, what the game is, what myungha is saying he will do by agreeing to do what the author asks. And every time, we see myungha being more defiant against the idea of yeowoon being resigned to his miserable ending. He starts off thinking that kind of life is destined, and while it's miserable, its not something he can fight. Then he says he'd want to write the story differently, bc yeowoon, or even him, could be happy. He challenges the idea that yeowoon, and thus himself, is fated to be miserable, and opens up the possibility for happiness for them both, but doesn't yet have the means or resolve to do it, its like he knows its possible on a fundamental level, but doesn't see it as something he can actually achieve. But then we circle back to the idea of destiny and books, both of which came up in the previous quote, and seems incredibly pertinent seen as this whole thing is about a novel this author has written. Myungha talks about how he hates the idea that life is a book where everything written is predestined to happen, from the moment you live to the moment you die. He says "Even if fate is already destined, I think it can still be changed. Otherwise, there's no point in trying." That vile way of life he described before that he said was destined, he is now saying it can be changed, and that possibility is now something he's holding onto, its what he sees hope in so that he can keep trying, bc now he finally is trying, he has the resolve, he's trying to realise this thing, this impossibility of rewriting the life he thought was destined through the way he loves yeowoon.

And coming back to those cruel choices, given this fresh context, it made me think. bc this isn't actually a game that myungha has been put into where the rules are dictated by an author completely separate from him. He said himself, he'd rewrite it, he'd change things for yeowoon. And when you start to think of it less as him fighting against a rigid, removed system and more like him being a character in a story he is trying to rewrite himself, that has both the author and his own limitations, or just his own if you're in the school of thought that the author is some figment or part of myungha himself or his conciousness, then you can start to see where these cruel choices might come from. They could be myungha, the author making edits to this new story, imposing his own doubts and limitations on himself. When he says he has to pick between Yeowoon and his grandma, what if that's the new author myungha seeing this story unfold and thinking no this isn't right, he can't have it all, i'm not deserving of this much happiness.

And what makes me like this idea even more is that when we get that second choice between ending after 14 days or getting 100 days back at the cost of resetting Yeowoon's affection to 0, that whole conversation happens in what I think the bar actually is which is this frozen moment in time where myungha is in the water with this extension of a voice in his head that is talking through these things. That conversation in itself needs its own post, but when you look at it both as a decision to break up or not or a decision to hold onto life or not, you can see how the author is just this soundboard relaying the decisions myungha is going through in his head. The author's voice is his own, weighing up his decisions. And if he is the author here, it only reinforces that the person making the rules of this game is him. You can even extend it further to the idea of the debuffs, where he puts in place this thing that makes it so he causes harm to yeowoon when he's around, and its only by garnering affection that he can prevent it. He gives himself a reason from the get go to stay away from yeowoon and reason it as him doing it for yeowoon's safety, when in fact the only way to make yeowoon safe is to increase his affection, which he can only do by being near him. Its a system that at first gives myungha a reason to stay away aka not like himself, but ultimately says the only way you're going to make yeowoon like you, or the only way you can like yourself, is if you accept risk. And that in itself screams to me of a myungha writing in these game systems that are trying to encourage his own-self love while falling at the hurdle of his own lack of self-worth.

The idea is still messy in my head even for me, but i just really like the idea that myungha could be trying to fix this thing both as a character and game master, and that both these versions of him have these flaws that manifest in their different ways to cause the events we see. It kinda is the definition of being your own worst enemy, the idea that in order to work towards loving yourself, the biggest obstacle you have to encounter is yourself, bc we are the ones holding ourselves back, making all these rules that make it harder to like ourselves and pursue our own happiness. The voices in our head telling us that we aren't good enough and aren't deserving are our own, and while the things that happen to us can inform what they say, we're the one's reinforcing those words. And what this show teaches us is that, if we're the one holding that pen all along, we can choose to change what those words are. If we make the rules, you don't have to create a game with concrete ultimatums, you can create a game where rules don't control you. Instead, you make the decisions, and you can make the ones that make you happy.

#wow look at me writing actual kinda thought out meta #also something something about how the pen being in his pocket wasnt a pen given to him by the author its a pen that was his the whole time #look even if this isnt the right interpretation as intended by the author i just kinda adore this headcanon ive come up with and i cant wai #to rewatch the show again through this lens and see if it holds up #i just adore the idea of this whole thing being this manifestation of a flawed doubtful person trying to navigate through their own messy #nonsensical thoughts to find their own happiness #bc yes thats what triggered me thinking of this whole thing. me seeing that post and thinking yeah that doesnt make sense7 #but then again when you tell yourself things an put your own mental blocks in the way they dont make sense either but you still have to fin #the ways to work around them in order to find happiness #like those things dont go away we just find the loopholes or the ways to overcome them that mean we can be happy #the game is your own mind - deal with your own existential crisis as you wish #anyway this is only part 1 in what i hope will be a very extensive meta analysis of this show - stay tuned #love for love's sake

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osamusriceballs · 3 months

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The Accident - Final Part

Atsumu x fem Reader

Warnings: Smut

Words: ~ 2,1 k

About: Not much to say- enjoy the ending! <3

Part I II -> Epilogue

"Y/n!"

He smiles and waves when he spots you, his expression soft and excited as he jogs towards you, passing the court in an instant. You notice Sakusa and Hinata on the field too, waving in your direction, and you hear Bokuto calling your name. You return the greeting and wave at him too with a smile.

Atsumu comes to a stop when he finally reaches you, his hands immediately finding your hips and pulling you close. "What's my wifey doing here?" He leans down to peck your lips, his excitement barely concealed.

"I thought you could use some moral support. And maybe some food." You shyly smile and raise the bag in your hand just a little, the Onigiri Miya logo evident on it. "I asked Samu to make something that works with your diet. And I got a dessert for you, the one from the cafe we visited last time." He looks at you softly, his hands still holding your hips tightly, not the slightest bit embarrassed about showing his affection in front of his teammates.

"Thank you. I appreciate that. Yer always so good to me." You blush at his words, trying to wave it off, but he pulls you closer and kisses you again, his lips now firmly pressing against yours. You easily give in, your free hand resting on his biceps, feeling the smooth and hot skin under your fingers, not caring about the fact that he is slightly sweaty by now. The faint sounds of volleyballs meeting the ground are drowned out by the sound of your heartbeat, and a soft gasp escapes your lips when he ever so lightly brushes his tongue against yours. You pull back, clearly flustered, and he grins at your state. "Wanna come over tonight?" You nod with a smile, and he pecks your lips one last time before letting you go.

"Can't wait, wifey."

xxx

"Tsumu!"

You yell, eyes only on him when he is about to serve. You're fully convinced that he can't hear you in the crowd, yet his eyes still flicker to your direction for a second before he focuses on the ball again, the red uniform a stark contrast to his bright hair.

He looks amazing. He's so focused on the game, you can see it in his eyes. This is the final moment of the game—if they manage to score one more point, the game will be over. You can see the pressure on him in his posture, and you can't help but want to hug him and make him feel more at ease.

He's serving, flawlessly as always, and you hold your breath when the other team receives his mean serve—and you find your heart skipping a beat when it's not Atsumu setting the ball after a fast attack from the other team, but rather Kageyama setting the ball and Atsumu attacking—surprisingly, even though you know that he does decent in every position. And you almost cry when his attack scores the final point, and he yells loudly and raises his arm triumphantly. You hug Yachi, who almost had a heart attack during the intense game, and you look up surprised when you see Atsumu staring at you happily and ignoring the cameras and media to come to you.

You're absolutely flabbergasted when he simply hugs you and slightly lifts you off the ground, grabbing your face almost too harshly before he kisses you in front of everyone. You're frozen, the noises of cameras clicking and yelling people almost overwhelming, but you somehow feel safe in his arms, so you just return the kiss and hug him tight too. He still beams from excitement when he pulls back, and you can't help but smile softly before you gently push some strands out of his face. "Congratulations. You did amazing." He smiles even brighter at your words, and you laugh breathlessly.

"Did it all for you. And for Japan. But for you too." He laughs, his chest still heaving heavily, and you can't help but smile softly. "I'm honored. And Japan too."

You press a last longing kiss to his lips and then you slowly let him go. "Now go—you need to get your medal or something. You're a world champion. I'll meet you after that, and we can celebrate." You smile gently, and he laughs happily. "Sure, wifey. I'll get my real reward later." His smile turns smug, and you blush feverishly. "S-sure," you whisper, flustered by his comment and avoid looking at his eyes.

"My real prize."

xxx

"Y/n?"

"Hmm?" you slightly raise your head, just enough to look at his face. You're comfortably cuddled against his chest, a thin blanket thrown over you both while you watch an animated fireplace and listen to slow music. His utterly relaxed expression is slightly crowded with unease, as if he has something on his mind.

"I was thinking... if you maybe wanna to store some clothes here. Like permanently. I made some space in my closet for you. Not like I want ya to move in already, I know most couples wait- but- just saying. There's space. Technically."

You raise your eyebrows, your eyes wide open, and he clears his throat awkwardly. The way he seems so shy and insecure about it—a state that you have never seen on him before. It warms your heart when you think about how nervous he is to ask just this, but it also fills you with excitement and makes your heart flutter.

"So... you wouldn't want me to move in?" You say while you try to suppress your teasing smile and try to seem as serious as you can. You feel his body tensing under your fingers, and his arm that had been loosely caressing your bare lower back under your shirt freezes.

"I didn't say that." He stretches the syllables while he seems to be in an inner conflict. "I just meant that ya might get uncomfortable if you're already moving in. It's only been a few months, I know that most couples wait a bit longer with that." He looks down at you, his tone showing his serious curiosity. "Are you not against moving in?"

You pause, taken aback by the statement, and proceed to think about it. You know that moving in together is a big step- but on the other hand, you both have been married for quite some time. And being together with Atsumu just feels so right—you really don't mind moving in after seven months.

"I'm... not against it, to be honest. It's unconventional, but we're kinda already married, so I think it's fine to skip some steps. here." A deep relieved sigh leaves his lips, and you feel his posture relaxing once again. "Sounds good. I got ya a key on the counter, we can move your stuff gradually, if you want to? But I made a lot of space in my closet actually, you might wanna go shopping to fill it. My treat of course."

You look at him wide-eyed. "You already have a key for me ready?"

He looks away with a faint blush on his cheeks, his hand absently caressing your back again, but now more relaxed while his lips curl into a triumphant grin.

"Maybe."

xxx

"Y/n?"

"Hmm?" You turn towards him and see a letter in his hands.

"That's um..." he clears his throat, his eyes looking anywhere but your direction. "It's from our lawyer. It's about the divorce. The year is over."

You freeze, carefully making your expression neutral while you wait for him to continue.

"It's um... we can—ya know. Wait a bit. I mean—you're busy with work and I'm also busy with Samu's new shop. We can maybe wait just a bit longer. If you want to. No pressure."

And you finally smile when you reach for his shirt and pull him down to press a kiss on his lips.

"Sounds good."

xxx

Tsumu—"

You look up at him in the mirror with pleading eyes, his hand tightly wrapped around your throat.

"Now come on. Tell me, what ya want me to do?" He grins teasingly, knowing fully well that you can't speak with his hand now firmly wrapped around your throat. You manage to gasp his name, and he raises an eyebrow. "What was that? Didn't hear ya, sweetheart. Might wanna try harder here."

You avert your gaze, overwhelmed by the intensity of it and arch your back slightly against him, offering him your neck submissively. A groan leaves his lips and his eyes soften at the sight of you. "So pretty for me. Always so good." He tilts your face and kisses you, the grip around your neck loosening and his free hand wandering to your chest, gently squeezing your body.

His lips are glued to yours, the kiss starting out softly, but quickly turning into a messy clashing of lips melding together and tongues grazing against each other. It's hot, so, so hot when his hand stops palming your chest and moves further down your stomach, causing you to gasp and whine against his lips as you tense under his touch until his hand stops between your legs. He doesn't stop the kiss, instead keeping one hand loosely around your neck while the palm of the other hand cups your pussy and presses against it. Your hips buck into his touch and you break the kiss embarrassedly after a lewd needy sound escapes your lips.

"What was that?" He asks, a bit breathlessly, but his lips curl into a smug grin. "Gettin' shy on me? You know that I love those pretty sounds. Especially when I do—this—" Two of his fingers push inside of you with no further warning and your body almost bends over at the feeling, but his hand quickly moves from your neck around your upper body to press you tightly against him. "Uh-uh, pretty wifey. Not escaping yer husband. I need to fulfill my duties after all, right? Satisfy my wife and all that. Look at ya, how you enjoy that, huh?" He slowly pumps his fingers in and out of you, the squelching sound making you whine embarrassedly, yet it feels so good that your eyes flutter closed and your mouth stays agape. He brings you to your high like this and holds you when you tense around his fingers, clenching tightly around him like a vice, his name leaving your lips breathlessly.

"Tsumu—" you whisper, your voice hoarse, but your body feeling so good and satisfied, and he softly pulls his fingers out with a lewd sound. "Oh, love, you made such a mess, huh?" He looks at his fingers with a grin and then down to your pussy, his tongue quickly coming out to lick his lips.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of ya."

xxx

"Tsumu—do we have to go out? We could also relax at home. Watch that movie maybe. Or... do different things." You smile a bit shyly as you hug his arm and press your chest against his biceps in a way that you hope is seductive.

He freezes for a second and then shakes his head. "As tempting as that offer is, we have plans. Or I have made plans. For us." He wraps his arm around your waist and directs you towards a building—that looks suspiciously familiar to you. "Tsumu— is that—no way! Why are we here?" Your eyes grow even bigger when you recognize the building, but he ignores your comment and simply pushes you forward. "C'mon, we have an appointment—and you need to get ready," he grins, but you can see a faint hint of nervousness in his eyes when he opens the door and reveals the club where you had met during your first day. Your jaw drops when you see the decorations—all in a classical wedding style, like the pictures you often like on Pinterest. "Tsumu—don't tell me—"

"Y/n." You hear his voice firmly, and you look at him, who suddenly lets go of you and looks at you a bit mischievously before he smoothly sinks down to one knee.

"I can't remember the first time I did this, but I promise, I won't forget this time. I wanna do everything right, Y/n. Marry you properly, be your husband and care for you."

You look at him, feeling tears dwell in your eyes when you realize how he has spent the last few weeks preparing this—and you bite your lip to avoid a sob when he pulls out a ring—similar to the one he had given you last time, yet even more beautiful.

"Will ya marry me?

xxx

A/n: Thank you so much for following this series! I'll make an epilogue about the night they met around next week-ish! But after that, that's it for the series! I hope you enjoyed and stay tuned for the next one! <3

#haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu x reader #atsumu #atsumu smut #atsumu x reader #hope you enjoyed <3 #I'm sorry for the belated post #But here you go #it's a bittersweet experience to end such a project #but I'm happy to start a new one #I'll rewrite an old series of mine #a love triangle with Atsumu and Suna #and tbh #i still haven't decided about the ending #It will come to me as I reread it and continue writing it!#anyways!#love you! <3 #and I hope you'll stay tuned ! <3

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crystallizsch · 2 days

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Okay obviously Yuusha is shipped with Jamil because baby idiots /aff

But I can’t remember… is Yuuna shipped with anyone?

Does our favorite floofy-haired silly have a ship or are they just focused on their platonic soulmates Tweedle Dee, Tweedle Dum, and Tweedle Dumber (Ace, Deuce, and Grim - who is who? You decide! 🤣)?

HI HI YES yuusha and jamil, my baby idiots, i cant separate them ever 😔💖

also,,, i finally have an excuse to share this silly shitpost i had from a while ago that i didn't know when to post ---

(this is a joke) (and im pretty sure this joke has been said and done before LMAO)

okay so to actually answer your question: as of now, the main "ship" yuuna has is with tweedle dee (ace), tweedle dum (deuce), and tweedle dumber (grim) as their platonic soulmates 😤💖

when yuuna was my only yuu oc, i used to ship them with riddle (unrequited -> platonic) and leona (platonic)

and jamil (romantic) but shhhh that's some old and forbidden lore (lowkey i was insane for all that)

although i'm kinda thinking about bringing back that unrequited-crush-from-riddle plotline ---

(im going to have a short-ish ramble about it below if anyone is interested hfjdsajfklds)

i'm so mean to riddle aaagh bc i thought it’d be interesting if i had riddle have an unrequited crush on yuuna :,D

bc i like the idea of riddle being like "hey i insulted you and was Not A Good Person and Almost Killed You, but for some reason you're still willing to be kind to me and be friends with me" to yuuna

cue attempts at "courting" yuuna -- with riddle reading books, looking up stuff, asking for advice, etc.

he invites yuuna on a "date" without it being explicitly stated that it's a date; yuuna just thinks they're hanging out

come the confession and yuuna is just like "oh :D?" "i'm sorry i only see you as a friend"

but it’s okay they both get over it and they see each other as genuine friends now :]

anyways have some old art of them :3

also also i’m still debating on whether or not i want ace be another unfortunate unrequited crush

bc there's like a scenario i imagined where riddle sees ace making the same look he was making towards yuuna when he had a crush on them and then ace denying it

(this thought process is all inspired by the ghost bride event bc ACE IN THAT EVENT OMGGG)

sigh

i dont talk about ace much either but honestly i have a soft spot for him too 🥺

like the way he cares So Much (in his own being-a-little-shit way) and is just overall really genuine and protective of his friends

ahgklsjfldjsl

alright i'll end it here --

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