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hopeforkitten · 3 months

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thanks to my head, which thought what if the devils were molting. (if we consider the skin of the cambions, then they have scales)

• you lived in the house of hope for a long time and seemed to know all its features. although, you probably should never say that you know everything about devils.

you returned from the balcony in the archive and did not expect to see an incubus here. Haarlep was sitting with his legs over the armrest and reading a book with an extremely bored look, flipping through the pages with one claw. how could this personification of feline nature leave the cozy bed of the boudoir? And why?

"Oh, Haarlep, why are you here?"

"Hello little mouse! Well, I'm obviously not here of my own free will." he was very inspired by your voice. "Perhaps you will find the answer to this question in my former place of residence." his eyes took on their usual cunning gleam, causing you to distrust.

"And what am I going to find there?..."

"Oh, you haven't seen him in his period yet" he let go of the book and made a gesture of quotation marks "Go, go, I'm impatient to find out how everything will go" he waved his hand towards the doors and you headed the same way.

Along the way, you wondered what could be the reason for Raphael's unexpected mood. Anyway, you haven't done anything wrong, so why should you be afraid of his anger, right?

The boudoir barrier let you through, and from afar you saw Raphael sitting with his back to you and fidgeting erratically. His housecoat was held on his hips by a belt, and his upper body was naked. He diligently moved his wings, even tried to scratch their hard edge against the horns, as well as scratch his shoulders with his hands and tried unsuccessfully to reach the base of the wings.

"maybe I can help?"

You said hesitantly. Raphael didn't even notice how you walked from the entrance to the edge of the bed. He looked at you briefly with displeasure.

"and this is you. go ahead and try it."

He turned back and waited for your actions. you swallowed and hesitantly stroked the base of your wings.

"No mouse, use your claws," Raphael barked back at you.

you started scratching the shoulder blade of the wings with your short nails and it did real magic to him. He let out a sigh of relief and tilted his head back a little. such a reaction was more than enough to make you do it for hours.

• This was just the beginning of Raphael's molt. the symptoms are a bad mood and scabies. while the various stages of his molting were going on, he always lingered on the first one - denial. He hated this time. Raphael was too sensitive and imperfect during this period. Everything should always be perfect in it, both appearance and endurance. But this rare period spoils all his plans.

during the molt, he canceled all his business and did not leave the house of hope. without you, he used to wait it out alone in the boudoir, moving around in short forays from there. it is better not to catch his eye at this moment.

However, with you.... he won't say it, but molting with you has become a pleasant vacation. To you, he grumbles nonstop, like a very big moody child. but your presence changed everything... you scratch his back and wings, smear him with moisturizer, (gently stroke his shiny new scales and admire his beauty? yes, please) sit by the pool while he soaks and only his head sticks out of the water.

you will timidly help him with the removal of dead skin, asking if it hurts him. (imagine how much work his wings need)

• You also became the devil's personal pillow during this period. He just won't let you go a step away from him, with the rare exception when you need to leave the boudoir and bring him something. it's better not to linger chatting with Haarlep, it can cost you dearly.

since his diabolical work was suspended, he switched from contracts to fiction and read it in tandem with you.

He was going into cat mode. Today, practically the archdevil wants to spend the day in bed, and you pathetic little man will be my pillow and a scratcher and bring me a book or soothing tea and I'll eat your soul if you disobey, yes.

• Raphael is horrified to realize that he has been scratching the skin surrounding the horns several times a day. this means that after the back and wings, the skin on the face will be renewed... Oh, how he doesn't like it. the mouse does not stare at him, you are on thin ice and now he will obviously spend more time using you as a pillow so that you cannot stare at him

• it will be strange when this ends and the former strict and perfect Raphael returns to you, and he will never bring up this topic. however, before the next molt, he will send you an order to come to the boudoir and it's good that you already know how to help him.

#raphael x tav #raphael bg3 #raphael x reader #moult #It's such a funny thought.#I'll turn Raphael into a cat #but I'll justify it.

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madeofjules · 2 months

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katniss: "I could easily kill peeta, he isn't human anymore"

gale, right after: "do you want me to kill him?"

katniss: *unnerved, offended, taken aback, cannot believe he had the audacity to say that*

#i'll never think it's okay that she said that about peeta #i see people justify it and i'm like...no #but her response to gale shows how full of shit she was #same thing when boggs suggested it #how dare anyone try to rid the world of peeta mellark #everlark #katniss everdeen #mockingjay #the hunger games

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deafening-radio-silence · 2 months

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I think that Dr. Christina "I was an excellent soldier" Raynor needs to deal with some personal things before she's anyone's therapist, because she strong-armed more of Bucky's autonomy away from him than Zemo did within the series.

#yeah man make amends for the shit that happened when you didn't even have control over your own thoughts #so she was giving him a way to “fix things” but that wasn't on him to do so #all she did was doubly reinforce what he already thinks - which is a justified but false and guilt-laden perception - about the situation #idk much about therapy but i don't think that they're sposed to do that. correct me if i'm wrong and then i'll go fight all therapists #bucky barnes #tfaws #alpine #my art #thank you for putting up with my drawings of a comic book character and his asshole cat lol #i had to put my dog down recently in a bad way and i can't rightfully get another house dog with my current work schedule #so i got a cat since they can handle being inside for the day and the shelter lady said she's super antisocial towards other cats #she's super antisocial towards me sometimes too but she sleeps on me at night and my house has never been cleaner #now that i have to vacuum cat fur and mind what i leave lying on the counter #i've never liked cats before but she's special i guess idk ain't everyone's cat special lol #anyway i'll stop using my tumblr blog as a blog now lol

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sodasa-was-taken · 2 months

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Why Suletta and Miorine's story is a romance: A Mobile Suite Gundam: The Witch from Mercury story structure analysis by Sodasa

So, I recently watched The Witch from Mercury, and I felt compelled to write an analysis of the show's use of the story structure of romances. I'm a hobbyist in the history of trends in genre fiction with a particular interest in romances. I thought it would be fun to use my area of expertise to talk about how the budding relationship between Miorine and Suletta is intertwined with the story of G-Witch.

Something particular about the romance genre is that, unlike other genres of fiction, it's mostly defined by its story structure. This means that just because a story is about two people getting together does not automatically make it a romance in the same way having magic in a story qualifies it as a fantasy. The flip side of this is that while you can't have a fantasy without fantastical elements, a romance can be put in any setting. As long as the story hits the required plot beats, it's still a romance. This makes Romance simultaneously one of the strictest and most versatile genres, as the plot can be anything as long as it ties into the main characters' developing relationship. Use this structure in a story about financial politics and mechs, and you get a story like The Witch from Mercury.

I think the show uses this structure very effectively. In my opinion, a great romance should, first and foremost, be an exploration of the part of the human condition where previous bad experiences make us reject intimacy. The romance story structure is designed to have the characters come face-to-face with their inner demons by giving them a reason to overcome them. Something that's a lot harder to pull off outside of romances, as not many things in life require us to overcome some of our deepest insecurities instead of just pushing them down.

G-Witch is a great show to use as an example of what makes a romance a romance as it follows the story structure almost to a tee, but it's also not the kind of story that most people usually think of when picturing a romance. I also believe that seeing the show through the lens of the romance structure leads to some juicy character psychoanalysis for Suletta and Miorine. I'll go over all the plot beats of a romance and explain how they apply to G-Witch and, if applicable, why I think you don't see those plot beats outside of romances. The names of the plot beats are taken from "Romancing the Beat: Story Structure for Romance Novels" by Gwen Hayes, which is also my primary source, along with my own extensive experience with the romance genre.

I hope someone gets something out of this. I have seen some excellent analyses and theories for this show, but they have been on things I don't know much about myself. Since the only part of story analysis I excel at is the structure of romances, I thought I'd lend my own area of expertise. I want to clarify that while I might sound matter-of-fact, this is just my opinion. I'm by no means saying that you have to think that G-Witch is a romance. I'm just arguing for why I personally consider it to be one.

#mobile suit gundam: the witch from mercury #g witch #the witch from mercury #suletta mercury #miorine rembran #sulemio #suletta x miorine #honestly I had too much fun making this #I can't write an analytical essay to safe my life #but I'll write a 7500+ words media analysis just to justify calling a mecha show a romance

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whitesunlars · 7 months

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targeting civilians. murdering them, raping them, torturing them, and then desecrating their bodies. annihilating entire families. kidnapping babies as young as 6 months and Holocaust survivors as old as 100. shooting down attendees at a rave that was for peace. this is not freedom fighting. this is not liberation. and this will certainly not free palestine.

all this does is cause more suffering for both israelis and palestinians. all this causes is war and death and atrocities.

it is terrorism. if you try to justify it, you are supporting terrorism.

#jumblr #jewish #israel #peace #what's heart breaking is most in gaza have been polled in favor of increasing ties with israel #what's heart breaking is how many people are showing how deeply seeded their antisemitism is #and i'm sure i'll get hate for this but what's really heart breaking is how little people seem to understand #israel is not a colonial construct #the jewish people are indigenous to israel #israel is SUCCESSFUL decolonialization #there is no occupation in gaza #that has not been any israelis or jews in gaza since 2005 #the blockade only went up in 2007 when Hamas took over and began terrorizing israeli citizens #if this was about the blockage there would be the same thing happening in egypt #it's not about the blockage #Hamas's charter declares that their goal is not to ~free palestine~ but to murder all jews #this is antisemitism #this is what the nazis did #if you think for a second you would have stood up to the nazis #but justified what is happening right now #you're wrong and you're an antisemite

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ferronickel · 10 days

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Looking Glasses Page 80

<- Prev First Next -> Website

King picked a bad time to lecture the first random lightner he stumbled across.

Next page Monday, April 28th

#deltarune #looking glasses #utdr #deltarune comic #ferrousart #dess holiday #king spade #king deltarune #this page had one of the shortest turnarounds from when it was written to when I put it out #I've got a comics craft thing I wanna talk about with regards to that so I'll save explanations for a different write-up #anyway I think Dess would swear a lot #and she's justified in doing so!

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chayannesegg · 2 months

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honestly I think it’s kinda interesting how phil’s relationships with wilbur, tallulah, chayanne & tubbo are all reflecting back into his view of sunny tbh. like he has such complex delicate interwoven dynamics with all of them and it all gets thrown onto sunny, this poor kid who he loves in theory, but in practice is a stranger to him.

like wilbur left tallulah in phil’s care and didn’t come back. even now way after he was initially supposed to, wilbur hasn’t returned (that one day aside). and phil, who had already taken on a big commitment watching tallulah, has been left permanently with two eggs in his sole care. and even though he loves tallulah and wil, and won’t want them out of his life, this is a stress for him. it’s a big undertaking for anyone, to care for two kids alone, but especially since tallulah required a lot of changes in his life.

for better or worse, in many ways phil sees chayanne as an extension of himself. they’re similar in a lot of ways, and often on the same page, and it means phil often struggles to catch up when chayanne’s emotions aren’t on the same page as him. we’ve seen this week, phil having such a hard time understanding the depth and breadth of chayanne’s grief. when he catches on, he usually does a good job empathising and talking it through, but when he doesn’t, he really doesn’t and it can be hard to watch.

the same is NOT true for tallulah. he has, through hard work and practice, learnt how to identify her emotions. he had to. she needed it. she would have been miserable otherwise. she desperately needed asked for the emotional care and birthdays and consideration that chayanne would never ask for. and he’s good at it—tracking her moods, knowing what upsets her & what she cares about in a way that doesn’t come as naturally with chayanne (or sunny or tubbo or anyone else really expect maybe wilbur). but that took A LOT of time and effort, months of work, and I do think he’s a bit wary of the idea of having to do that again, even when it comes to people he loves like chayanne (or god forbid tubbo).

now tubbo is not wil. tubbo is not phil's son. but he’s still not dissimilar to wil in phil’s mind. whatever the backstory is, phil introduces tubbo to tallulah as an old friend of him and wil’s. he makes tubbo his kids’ godfather. he calls tubbo his boy. he looks out for him. but past those first few weeks, their relationship doesn’t progress. they mean a lot to each other bc of their pasts, but they don’t put any work into upkeeping their relationship and phil in particular doesn’t reflect at all on what how that changes their dynamic. and it does change it—this is clear in purgatory, with phil having zero trust in tubbo to protect chayanne and tallulah, and after, with tubbo endlessly poking at phil’s sore spots trying to illicit a reaction he’ll never receive.

it's also clear in the way phil has no understanding of what’s going on with tubbo. if he’s struggling to grasp chay’s emotions, he’s not even touching what’s going on in tubbo’s head. tubbo’s death makes no sense to him. it’s sudden. it’s random. it’s illogical. it’s stupid. he wasn’t joking about having two lives? he still took a death bet with richas? he’s not come back? he can’t come back? he’s left phil with distraught kids for no reason with no warning. he doesn’t see the erratic suicidal behaviour, the unending depression, the desperation to be loved. he doesn’t want to see it. he doesn’t want something to be wrong with tubbo, but he also doesn’t even know how to see what’s wrong. he’s annoyed he’s having to deal with it and he desperately desperately wants to believe this is all happening for no reason.

bc at the forefront of phil’s mind is still his love for tubbo. of course, phil would drop everything to help tubbo (if he could recognize something was wrong). of course, he would care for sunny as his own. of course, he would make the same sacrifices he’s made for wil. and he assumes he’ll have to. he thought that sunny would now be under his care. that he’d have to figure out the logistics of a third egg to care for. with wilbur, phil was the only person who could ever have taken care of tallulah. the only person he trusted, the only person who knew tallulah enough. now this isn’t true for tubbo. it’s a genuinely illogical assumption for phil to make: three eggs would be a genuine burden on him; they've never spoken about it; there’s a long list of people who would tubbo expects for sunny before; and he doesn’t even know sunny well enough to name these people for her as comfort.

but still in the moment, alone with tubbo’s eggs and dealing with everything he left behind, phil can only think that the exact same thing that happened before will happen: he alone will be left to care for another scared hurt kid of someone he loves.

and here we come to sunny. a kid whose dad he loves. a kid whose dad he doesn’t understand. a kid whose dad is suddenly gone like his son is gone. a kid who would need him like his daughter needs him. a kid who his son needs to protect. a kid he cares for. a kid he can’t afford to care for, a kid he wasn’t expecting to care for, a kid he doesn’t know how to care for, a kid he would care for if he needed to, a kid he doesn’t know why he’s been left to care for. a kid who is somehow a reflection of all these people he loves but not someone he knows at all.

idk i think this tension comes out in the a lot of the comments phil makes of and to sunny. he doesn't know them well enough to distinguish them from his relationships with other people. and as long as no one challenges him on that, we'll continue to hear these misplaced comments from him, that come across so insensitively, even as he tries his best to genuinely help them and their dad.

#qsmp #qsmp philza #qsmp sunny #suicide #philza neg #qphil neg #i guess i'll tag out of an abundance of caution even if i don't intend this analysis meanly #that said he is absolutely being unfair to sunny and hurting her bc of this and he doesn't even realize #and won't realize unless someone else talks to him about it #lest sunny just snap at him some day which i do think is what we're currently headed to #fun fact: i intended to do more analysis of his actual comments but it got too long so instead you just get this :)#even tho i think this covers too much in too little time and could reference more canon events lmao #but it's already a behemoth #oh well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#also nothing is ever going to justify the 'maybe i won't look for your dad as hard' comment fuck him fr for that #cw wilbur soot #won't delete this but warning he's mentioned here

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holderof-cats · 1 month

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Some days I'm normal, other days i think about how maybe the only reason Kaeya survived his fight with Diluc was because every cut made by that claymore was cauterized immediately because of the pyro :(

#and maybe if diluc was anyother element user kaeya would've been dead :((#ik kaeya also survived because of plot reasons but still #was diluc's actions really justified? or are you lying to yourself #no wonder he looks like an alien it's karma #/affectionate #i can never make up my mind if i despise him or love him with all my heart ngl #but i'm pretty sure i'll always love kaeya😔#kaeya #genshin #diluc #genshin impact #ragbros

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xxsweetoothxx · 1 month

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Workin on Redesigning Jackies Colorful version and Im stuck as hell on clorors to pic for their Hair. Tried a billion different ones but These 5 seemed to work best I think

Also also Redesigning Isaac as well as his Sister. The old story I had for them was okay but then I got a better idea that makes Isaac the irredeemable shit I wanted him to be originally!

Also this idea allows me to tie in the whole thing from the cannon creeps comic of everyone seeming to hate LJ. Only in PM I plan on it to be a bit different with Ragz. Mainly that they didn't really do anything but SOMEONE did.

A Hint on why Ragz may be heavily disliked.

#im very unsure on a hair color so by all means give opinions!#either way its gonna be black in the version of them with less color #on another note #if it wasnt obvious Isaac is just being straight up malicious by dressing like that in the underworld #mf is intentionally pretending to be this clown to cause problems because hes pissedbabout being very justifiably killed #I'll get into that backstory one day #i gotta admit tho. Clown Isaac is very fun to draw #i got the idea because when reading the original LJ origin story #the thought of 'hey what if LJ is actually just Isaac?'#like yeah LJ killed him blah blah #bit what if LJ really was just an imaginary friend and the death was more a metaphorical one #im sure someoen else has had the idea before #but it came to mind a long time ago and it inspired me to be like #“what if after getting killed by this clown Isaac said he ruined my life so ima ruin his now”#and just dressed up to cause problems on purpose for them #anyway actual tags now #creepypasta #proxymorons #crp #creepy pasta #creepypasta art #doodleteeth #creepypasta redesign #laughing jack #isaac grossman #Izzy Lockwood #Isaac Lockwood #Ragz #Jackie Ragzdale

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benevolenterrancy · 4 months

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@ghostfriendmel @tristandelarkadien wanted something silly to draw, so I decided to combine two old prompts into one -- hawkeye and trapper getting to be mad scientists with their reliable igor

#mash #mash 4077 #hawkeye pierce #trapper #trapper john mcintyre #radar #radar o'reilly #klinger #maxwell klinger #my art #i was halfway through a podfic so i needed something to doodle to justify sitting around at my computer to finish it #jokes on me there was a whole second chapter so i am Still Not Finished... i'll have to do some more art tomorrow

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sweetandfunky · 2 years

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I fucking NEED a fic where Babs, Jay and Tim all work together to quietly take out the Joker and no one is any the wiser.

Like, Babs who was crippled by him, Jay who was killed by him, and Tim who went through and came out the other side of that Joker Jr bullshit.

They all decide you know what? It just isn't worth it to uphold The Rule when it comes to Joker. Or, well, Babs and Tim get on board with where Jason already was, but they're like "You gotta be more circumspect, dude".

So the three crazy smart, crazy focused, thoroughly traumatized by Joker kids get together, plan it out perfectly, and just ice that dude and disappear the body. Poof. Joker is just gone.

And for the first time in years, all three of them get a halfway decent night's sleep.

#fics i'll never write #jason todd #barbara gordon #tim drake #red hood #oracle #Red Robin #JayTim #probably #because I can't not want that #but really just #hardcore batfam bonding over justifiable homicide #fuck the joker

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unreadpoppy · 4 months

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I think it's funny how the narrator basically asks you, before choosing to sign or not Raphael's contract, who do you trust more: The Emperor or Raphael, the devil himself.

And, honestly? I have no reason to trust the Emperor more than I trust Raphael.

Because give it or take, Raphael has been more honest about his shit than the Emperor. The first time you meet him, he shows you he's a devil. He kept his part of the deal after we killed the orthon, and even now, he straight up tells us what he's going to use the crown for.

The Emperor, however, has been lying to us since the begining. Like, him lying about his identity was a HUGE no no for me. I "understand" that he didn't want to scares us due to being a mind flayer, but at that point in game (when he shows his true self), we've already met Omelumm, who is a mind flayer but who tried to help us. Also, his instance on the "eat this tadpole, embrace your powers" is very iffy to me cause like dude i'm not doing it. Like you already lied about your true identity, why should I trust you with this bullshit?

Also, since I'm comparing the Emperor to Omelumm, I might as well compare Raphael to the other devil who is out there offering deals: Mizora. Mizora lies, adds shit that only makes Wyll's life harder. We have every reason not to trust Mizora, beyond the fact that she's a devil (which, i'm not gonna lie, i feel like a reason there's such a push against raphael's deal is bc he is a devil and y'know how religion messes with that But anyways, i'm not gonna get into that).

The Emperor looks worse in comparison to Omelumm, but Raphael looks better in comparison to Mizora, is basically what i'm trying to get here.

Also also, if you talk with Korilla, she legit says that Raphael's a good boss, treats her better than a FREAKING GOD did. Like, honestly, I (and i really only mean I,me,myself) up until this point in the game have no freaking reason to not trust Raphael. Like, ffs, he didn't even ask for my soul in exchange.

Anyways, this is MY opinion, MY thoughts on the choice my character has done.

#making very clear that i don't care if you disagree with me or not #don't try to change my mind #anyways #raphael bg3 #i have a big big big trouble with emperor's lies #AND ALSO HIS LACK OF FUCKING PRIVACY #LIKE RAPHAEL LITERALLY SHUT HIM OFF #AND YOU THINK IM SIDING WITH CAN'T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER SO I'LL PROBE YOUR MIND?#NO #F OFF #also someone said that the whole HoH is basically to justify killing raphael #and honestly that feels so true #also i brought up the religious aspect #bc i have friends who play the game who ignore all the context the game gives #and go i cant trust a devil just cus #and i respect that but also ugh

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uncanny-tranny · 1 month

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Something beautiful about the word transsexual is that contrary to popular (often by transmeds) belief, it has always included people who don't medically transition in anyway. It simply is an older word for what a lot of people would now call transgender and there are so many transsexual elders who never went on hormones and never had surgery but have identified as transsexual for decades and still do. I know transmeds have been around back in the day too, claiming that transsexual is only for medical transitioners, but many elders will disagree. Even if you look at some trans glossaries from 15 years ago they will define transsexual the same way that we define transgender. Transsexual and transgender are largely synonymous with different connotations to different people. The beauty is that we as trans people get to choose whether we want to reclaim a term that was put on us by cis people, or if we want to claim a term that was created by us for us, and both are beautiful and radical in their own way.

The thing about the history of transness is... we have documentation of trans people having existed for at least a thousand years. Trans history is ancient. We are a fact of humanity, not an option.

The interesting thing about transsexual is that it's a new word - coined in German as Transsexualismus by Magnus Hirschfeld in the 1920s, introduced later as transsexual. Around this time, more people were interested in what would be known as transsexualism. It's around this time and after the war that more and more medical transition options became wide-spread and practiced. Medical transition is by no means as experimental as people fear monger it to be, but in terms of trans history, we're living in a vastly different era than our trans ancestors.

The understanding of transsexual depends on who you ask, but it's my opinion that we ought to include as many transsexuals as possible. The idea that transsexuals are the Good Trans People, the ones who Put In The Work is an idea that's based on transphobia, not the language that's used. The attitude is the problem, the idea that we are inherently broken or must prove ourselves worthy is separate from the words that we identify with or are used to describe us.

It's for this reason that transsexualism is important to me. It's for this reason that I want as many people to be transsexuals as possible, whether or not you medically transition. I personally started preferring transsexual because I see it as political, as personal, as a community of beautiful people I want to help make good. If you don't identify as transsexual, that is great! But, please, know that transsexuals are also not stereotypes. We're not the Good Ones. We are part of the broader trans community, and thus, we should all work together.

#ask #anon #transsexual FAQs #i don't dismiss the fact that transsexual as a term has been used exclusionary...#...to make trans people into The Good Ones and The Bad Ones...#...but that stems from transphobia. the people who say i'm One Of The Good Ones don't see me as an equal or perhaps even a person...#...but i would be a token - a THING they use to justify /their/ transphobia...#...in cases like that they would use any word because it was never about the terms...#...so i don't dismiss that people are transphobic about it but i also don't want people to see transsexual as a dirty word #there are still transsexuals. there are still transvestites (trans and non-trans even!). there are still gender freaks.#it's gotten to the point that i prefer being transsexual and i also like the transgender community. it just doesn't encapsulate who i am #and that's not a bad thing! i love transgender people. i love the people. i go there sometimes to visit! i just don't live there.#i moved to the next town over and it's going great! but sometimes i'll go to transgender to chat up friends and get doughnuts and ice cream.

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ktempestbradford · 11 months

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There is so much to talk about with this article. So much. In this post I want to focus on a specific part of it: the reactions of Lindelof and Cuse to what the writers and actors experienced. Here are several quotes [emphasis mine].

“What can I say? Other than it breaks my heart that that was Harold [Perrineau's] experience,” replied Lindelof, who said he did not recall “ever” saying that. “And I’ll just cede that the events that you’re describing happened 17 years ago, and I don’t know why anybody would make that up about me.”

Lindelof told me he didn’t remember any negative incident with an editor, adding that he seeks out input from collaborators and that he’s “never threatened anyone’s career.” Lindelof also said he had no recollection of anything Hsu Taylor said about events connected to “Ab Aeterno.” He said she was a “great writer who executed at a high level” and he’s “stricken” that she was made to feel the way she felt at that time.

Regarding the other allegations leveled at him and the show, Lindelof said he had no memory of the incidents and comments I related. He told me he was “shocked and appalled and surprised” by the incidents I described to him, and said more than once that he did not think anyone was making anything up. “I just can’t imagine that Carlton would’ve said something like that, or some of those attributions, some of those comments that you [shared]—I’m telling you, I swear, I have no recollection of those specific things. And that’s not me saying that they didn’t happen. I’m just saying that it’s literally baffling my brain—that they did happen and that I bore witness to them or that I said them. To think that they came out of my mouth or the mouths of people that I still consider friends is just not computing.”

I'm not going to quote Cuse's responses here because they all boil down to: "I don't remember doing/saying that" or "Nuh uh, that didn't happen!" which is... certainly a choice.

You're going to see a bunch of people siding with and empathizing with Lindelof and praising him for saying that what happened was wrong, etc., and I will push back every time I see it because of all those instances of him saying he doesn't recall and doesn't remember. I don't think he's lying. I do think it's indicative of an ongoing problem with him as a writer and showrunner and it needs to be called out.

I'm going to tell you a story that explains my point. Also putting it and my conclusions under a cut as this is long. Please do read.

Many years ago I became friends with a white woman writer in the SFF community who lived in NYC during some of the time I did. She knew many of the writers and editors in our community who also lived in NYC or nearby. At the time, the majority of these editors were white and most were men. She became particularly friendly with some of them.

A couple of years into our relationship we were at ReaderCon together. One day at the hotel bar I was sitting with this woman (we'll call her Karen for the purposes of this story) and two other BIPOC male authors who had both published multiple books at this point and were people that Karen felt were impressive and important. During the conversation someone (probably me?) brought up the online conversations/debates/fights currently happening about representation in the SFF genre and the way certain editors were part of the problem. I want to say this was even before RaceFail happened.

Karen revealed that she'd been talking to important people like Gordon van Gelder about the things I'd been saying online and how, well... the things I was saying were just crazy. Crazy things! I was acting so crazy.

I don't remember the exact phrasing, but I remember the repeated categorizing of me/my words as Crazy.

I also don't remember exactly what I said in response. I do remember how I felt in my body at that moment. I was suddenly flooded with, I think, adrenaline or something and I wanted to run away because otherwise I was going to start throwing things. I couldn't believe this person, who claimed to be my friend, was saying this to me.

I also remember that I felt trapped because I was in a booth and the two other writers were on either side of me so I couldn't just get up and leave. It turned out I didn't need to do that. Because immediately both of them were like: Hold up. Hold the EFF up.

They both pointed out to Karen that the things I brought up in those online discussions were real issues that did need addressing and that I wasn't crazy and the only reason she thought so was because I was a Black woman and when white people or even people perceived as being white said the same thigs I did, people in the community listened, so what the heck was even wrong with her.

I just sat there, pretty quiet, still trying to calm myself down while this all happened and also felt so very grateful for how these two guys (also friends) stood up for me without hesitating, without equivocating, without giving Karen an inch to continue to talk about me in such a way. I don't even know how that conversation ended or if I even talked to Karen again at the con. I did decide right then that I was going to pull back from our friendship because of it.

A year or so later I ended up having to have a conversation with Karen because of some nonsense she pulled at WisCon. In that conversation I mentioned the discussion we had at ReaderCon and how that truly affected my view of her, a person who was supposedly my friend and who constantly tried to say she was an ally to BIPOC. And that's when she said: What discussion?

At first I wasn't sure if she was feigning ignorance or not. The more we talked, the more I realized she wasn't. She didn't remember the incident. And in that talk I realized why: It didn't have that big of an impact on her.

Even with her being essentially told off by the other two, for her, having conversations where she casually parroted some white, male editor's racist and misogynistic view of me was of little note because she and the other people she spent a majority of time with were doing it all the time. It was just a Tuesday for her. And so after ReaderCon when she continually asked if I wanted to hang out or go on writing dates, she did so as if she had not said some absolutely egregious stuff to me weeks before. Again, to her: a Tuesday.

Having had more experience in life with certain kinds of racists, sexists, ableists, and bigots in general, I can say that this phenomenon was not specific to Karen. It is endemic with a certain kind of person who is devoted to the status quo/dominant paradigm.

So when Lindelof says that he doesn't remember doing and saying these things, he's probably not lying. Because for him, it was business as usual, a Tuesday. Normalized on a number of levels. He was a fish in water and the water was composed of racist, sexist a-holes doing whatever they wanted because no one above them put a stop to it. And that is a problem even 20ish years later.

That Lindelof had to be told he did these things and that he, in all this time, has not reflected on them, not realized on his own that what he did was terrible, apologized, and worked his butt off to not only ensure the shows he runs do not have this atmosphere but to also throw every bit of work that he can to those writers (not necessarily on his shows, but others) is proof that it continues to be a problem. And that he has a lot of work to do to atone for all these things he can't remember--starting by doing a real deep dive into why he can't.

Cuse can't be saved. I suggest we introduce him to a nice oubliette.

#I'll note that the author of the piece called him out on his passive language and I very much appreciate that #Her whole book looks to be amazing and a wake up call and I hope everyone reads it #LOST #Damon Lindelof #Carlton Cuse #Carlton Cuse For Oubliette President #I feel justified in all of my critiques of LOST

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canismajors · 2 years

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