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notyourhetloki · 10 months

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Ken with a gn doll!reader love interest

Reader: gender neutral

/Ken x Doll!Reader/

A/N: Guess who's obsessed lol anyway... This is NOT spoiler free! In fact, this is set AFTER the movie! I gave Ken a redemption arc because I think he'd be willing to better himself so here you go...

Word Count: 1348

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How it started:

You were hanging out with Allan at the beach when suddenly Ken approached you, waving and smiling as he spoke: “Hey Allan! Hey (Y/N)! Wanna play volleyball?”

Allan glanced nervously at you before you two agreed, following Ken through the sand.

The game was fun but you were losing, that is until you had the chance to score, jumping up in the air and striking the ball with full force… hitting Ken right in his face.

He dramatically fell back, face covered with his hands while groaning. You quickly ran to him, kneeling on the sand and patting his shoulder. “Ken! Are you okay??”

He revealed his face, slowly blinking while examining you. You worried he was mad... you were new in Barbieland and didn’t want to make any enemies. What if he hated you?

“That… was… AWESOME. How did you learn to plunge like that??” Ken gave you a big smile, and you couldn’t help but reciprocate.

How it went:

You had been hanging out with Ken a lot lately, spending time at the beach or at your Dream House (all dolls had their own house now, including Kens). He even invited you to his Mojo Dojo Casa House (yes he still called it that) to watch some movies, and you gladly accepted.

He was nice to be around, always glad to help with whatever you needed and always excited for your next activity together. He was goofy and made you laugh, which made him feel good about himself.

And because the way to his heart was through his ego, you two became best friends as soon as you started complimenting him. He even admired you back, making you feel all fuzzy inside.

Ken was ridiculously charming, and you felt yourself falling harder with each moment you spent side by side. But, you had to remind yourself you were not Barbie, and he was Ken... He couldn't possibly be interested in you... right?

Besides, you knew he had a lot to learn yet. After the incident with Kendom and the whole patriarchy thing, he started studying sociology and began a journey to better himself, and you were happy to be there to help.

You reminded him of his daily mantras ("I'm kenough") and accompanied him every time he visited the library for more books. Ken cringed while you reminded him about the past. “At least you apologized to Barbie, right?”

“…”

“RIGHT?”

And just like that the two of you were on an adventure to the Real World, for Ken had a very important mission.

—

You had never been on rollerblades before, so as you arrived at the Real World, you started to wobble. Luckily, Ken caught your hand and continued to hold it, helping you balance. You felt heat rising to your cheeks, blushing at the unexpected touch and intimacy. (Unbeknownst to you, Ken was blushing hard as well, trying not to think much of it. You were just friends, right? This was normal… right?)

You both found Barbie, and you were proud to hear Ken’s apology as he spoke. “I’m… I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything, Barbie. For trying to install patriarchy in Barbieland, for stealing your house, for all of it! You don’t need to accept my apologies, but I just needed you to know that I’m trying to better myself every day, and (Y/N) is helping me with that!” While Ken looked ashamed, Barbara looked shocked.

In the end, she accepted his apologies and smiled at you as you waved your goodbyes.

Ken felt immense relief and happiness now that he took this new step in his self-growth journey. He was so happy in fact, that he felt like holding your hand again. You both looked at each other and smiled, hearts racing and faces blushing.

—

You were in his Mojo Dojo Casa House, chatting and giggling like teenagers. Ken started asking about you, very interested in everything you had to say. He was fascinated and wanted to know more about you, and soon he caught himself asking more intimate things. “So… do you have a girlfriend? Or… a boyfriend? I mean… I don’t know, are you even into Kens? I mean…” he stuttered as you laughed.

“No, I don’t have a girlfriend or boyfriend… in fact, I never had a significant other before…”

Ken’s blue eyes grew wide, mouth slightly agape as he slid closer to you. “Oh… really?”

“I mean… I’m not a Barbie, not a Ken… not sure I’m even supposed to have someone.” You suddenly grew a little sad at that, being so vulnerable with Ken all of a sudden.

You looked down in shame, but Ken quickly lifted your chin up so you looked at him. His expression was fond, eyes roaming through your face and finally landing on your lips. He grew closer and for a moment you actually thought he would kiss you.

But he didn’t, he stopped and moved back, suddenly a bit confused and anxious. “Ha… I’m… I’m sure you’ll find someone eventually…” he said with an awkward smile.

How it ended:

Ken was desperate when he asked Allan for help. He was so confused, so… eager. He had never felt this way before, not even with Barbie. You were different, you listened to him, inspired him to become a better person, spent your valued time with him and you two had so much fun together! He felt genuinely happy around you, and in the last times you hung around, he felt the deepest urge to kiss you. This desire had been growing the more he tried pushing it away, so he decided to ask for help.

“I mean… (Y/N) is not a Barbie, and I’m Ken! It doesn’t make sense, right?”

Allan looked at him with slight confusion as he responded. “I mean… there are truly no rules, it��s not like there’s a book written somewhere that Kens should only date Barbies.”

Ken was left starstruck because I mean, Allan was right. There are no such rules in Barbieland, that was just something everyone assumed one day. “Thank you, Allan!” He hugged his friend before heading out.

—

Ken invited you on a beach date night and you happily agreed. You two sat on the sand as you watched the waves, but he only had eyes for you.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” You wondered about the sea and the stars. “Yeah…” he answered, not looking at them.

Slowly, Ken moved his fingers to touch yours, and while turning your head to look at him, you let your hands completely meet.

Your heart beat fast as he smiled that gorgeous smile of his, cheeks rosy and eyes glowing blue as he finally spoke. “(Y/N)… can I ask you something?”

“Of course, Ken.” You smiled in anticipation.

He looked down, doubting himself a bit before looking up again and almost whispering. “Can I kiss you?”

At that moment everything made sense, and you couldn’t help the big smile on your face as you spoke. “Of course!”

He matched your smile and squeezed your hand in excitement before turning away a bit and fist-pumping the air, then turning back with a more collected expression on his face.

Ken stared at your mouth before leaning in, and you leaned as well. Slowly, you met in the middle and finally kissed. Gentle, he grinned against your lips.

The first kiss was quick, but as you stopped and looked into each other’s eyes, he came back crushing onto your mouth, not wanting to be separate anymore. Ken took your face into his hands and you grabbed him by the collar of his shirt.

You both needed to breathe eventually, so you parted. You took the opportunity to ask a very important question. “Ken? Would you…would you like to be my boyfriend?”

Ken gasped, his eyes growing wide and teary as he held your hands in his. “That would be the coolest thing to ever happen to me… yes!”

The two of you hugged tight, and for the first time in forever, everything felt just right.

—

#ken #ken x reader #ken x you #barbie ken #ryan gosling #gender neutral #ken x gn reader #imagine #fanfic #headcanon #self insert #fanfiction #y/n #notyourhetloki

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transrightsyamaguchi · 7 months

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blue lock fic rec list #1 (?)

i always liked when people made long masterlists of fic recs but i haven't seen anyone do it for blue lock yet. at least not recently. so in the spirit of Be The Change You Want To See In The World here's my list.

not in any particular order just going through my bookmarks lol.

sound of breaking down. chigiri-centric, 4k words, rated T.

“Is he dead?” “No, of course not.” A pause. “I hope not.” “Yo, Princess, are you alive in there?” The door rattles. OR Determined to prove himself, Chigiri disregards his health and deals with consequences. None of it is pretty. Set during the neo-Egoist league arc. it's a sickfic. it's a really good sickfic. it hits all the beats i like my sickfics to hit and then some. it's a genfic which is a major bonus. no romantic subplot just chigiri being vulnerable and getting taken care of. there's some sweet moments between him and chris prince that made me melt inside.

2. the rituals are intricate, bro. karasu/otoya, 2k words, rated E.

Otoya offers to groom the homie's wings. Things escalate in ways he did not expect. this is by one of my beloved mutuals but i'd still be recommending it even if it wasn't. great title. there's an "it's not gay with socks on" joke in there. there's the ever-present Otoya Eita Sexuality Crisis. the porn is less sexy and more funny (as tabieita deserves).

3. six facts about lobsters. bachira/isagi, 4k words, rated T.

What it says on the tin. (In fine print: six facts about you.) can't remember if ghost is on tumblr or not but this is another mutual fic. it's a take on the 5+1 format, tracking the bachisagi relationship through lobster facts. isagi's autism radiates through the text. it's so cute and so sweet and so very bachisagi essence. as expected of ao3 user smallghosts (<- the bachisagi essence writer)

4. counting crows on the windowsill. kaiser/ness, 18k words, rated M.

“How much,” you ask, “would you let me do to you?” The feeling of vibration on your fingers comes again, and he is thinking, or perhaps toying with you even more. Your grip tightens on his skin, and Alexis twitches slightly in the grasp. More than once have people told you to learn some patience. “You already know my answer.” “Doesn’t mean I don’t like hearing it in your own words.” Inhale, exhale, and they all fall onto your skin. There is a chill in the room—it is rising up your arms, your neck—but the whole of you is hot. “If it’s you, I’d let you do anything.” Seven snapshots of life through the eyes of Michael Kaiser. this is a longer one but if you have time and you want to feel some Emotions read this one. nskins contain such multitudes and this author understands them so well.

5. shidou-ctionary. shidou/sae, 4k words, rated T.

Contemporary linguists agree that achieving proficiency in a new language requires between six months and four years of study. Itoshi Sae knows better. He has anecdotal evidence to suggest that a person can become fluent in a new language in as little as one week. A week of Shidou Ryuusei's attempts to ask Itoshi Sae on a date: a story in emojis. yet another mutual fic. i can't help it that my mutuals are all extremely talented and correct about everything. it's got some experimental formatting going on and (in my opinion) it looks best on desktop. ft. shidou being shidou and sae being smitten (in the emotionally constipated way that sae is smitten with shidou)

6. puppy love. kurona/kiyora, 9k words, rated G.

Jin doesn’t fight the small smile forming on his face. It’s been a long time since he meshed well with anyone. People tend to avoid him; he avoids them in turn. He stopped caring (or so he had told himself), but he doesn’t hate the weight around his shoulders—doesn’t mind it at all, really. He wraps his hand around Ranze’s wrist, and he laughs along with him. Kiyora Jin has a number of problems. A growing crush on Kurona Ranze is not supposed to be one of them. this was the inaugural fic in the ranjin tag and. not to pat myself on the back or anything. but i beta-read it hehe. another mutual fic. kiyora jin character study before kiyora jin was even a character, with an adorable little romantic subplot. somewhat negated by the Recent Developments in canon but it's still good!!

7. pink light. shidou/sae, 19k words, rated E.

Fifteen years ago, Shidou took a pass from Sae that shattered his knee and ended his career, and Sae hasn't been able to speak to him since - and Sae wants it to stay that way. Deserves for it to stay that way. Unfortunately, the world has other plans for him, courtesy of a little art studio a five minute walk from his new post-retirement apartment. this is not a mutual fic but i'm trying to change that. it's post-canon ryusae ft. cane user shidou (!!) and emotionally constipated sae learning how to live without soccer. not quite old man yaoi but it has the spirit of it.

8. year one. snuffy & lorenzo centric, 3k words, rated T.

"When's your birthday?" Snuffy asks him carefully, moving on to the next field. "Today," Don answers immediately. "Really?" Snuffy looks at him suspiciously. "No," Don replies without hesitation, turning back to a poster describing professional tooth brushing. Snuffy tries not to look at the tense faces of the receptionist and the surgeon peering out of the room. Snuffy's first year of parenthood. what is it about snuffy & lorenzo fics that just hit so different. i swear everyone who writes for them is a genius. this fic is short snapshots of snuffy and lorenzo navigating their newly-formed parent-child relationship and it's heartwrenching and heartwarming and poignant. this writer has a few snuffy & lorenzo fics and they're all wonderful. (she's also on tumblr and writes in-depth lorenzo meta so you Know she understands him)

9. pov: you just want the world to be quiet. itoshi brothers, 4k words, rated T.

his big brother and football have become the only hope to which rin can cling to dream of better days. without them, he only and just remains that little six-year-old boy destroyed by the senseless atrocities of evil hands. hesitated to include this one because the tags are scary but fuck it we ball i do what i want. it's a rewrite of rin's backstory with a darker spin on it and it follows rin and sae's relationship through that lens. as par for the course with pre-canon itoshi studies, it does not end happily. it's incredibly well-done and it will give you Feelings. (this is one of those cases where the author drops a life-changing bombshell of a fic on you and then you go to their profile and there's no bio. there's no public bookmarks. this is their only blue lock fic. they haven't posted anything in a year. who are they)

10. peak male living space. kunigami/chigiri, 3k words, rated E.

Raichi and Kunigami had met at university; playing on the football team, sharing many lectures, and living through the shitshow that was university halls together. It seemed only natural that they’d move in together, and it had been great for the past few of years… Until Kunigami’s new boyfriend asked why he never invited him over to his place, and he was forced to deal with the realisation that he and Raichi have the most boyish disaster of a flat. part of a series but it can stand alone. t4t kunigiri smut. kunigami and raichi are disaster roommates and bachisagi play wingmen. lionel messi makes a cameo in the form of a cardboard cutout. all the kunigiri fics in this series are good but this fic in particular is just so funny.

if you notice any ships or characters Conspicuously Absent it's because they were positively dominating this list at first so i'm planning to make a separate list for only them hehe

there are many more fics that made my soul ascend from my body so i might make another of these

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deliciousdefendorinternet · 2 months

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Trolls overall has a Big problem with the idea of Holding people accountable for their actions.

here's a numbered list of examples of what I'm talking about.

Cloud Guy in the Tv shows not only because he Harasses Branch most of the time with no consequences but also because Poppy goes out of her way to defend him even when his actions cause trouble for many other people.

like when he flooded the village just out of spite because Branch wouldn't do what he wanted anymore and not to mention how even when she found out that he also Harassed other people from each of the Troll Tribes she still took his side and got mad at them when they stood up for themselves and "" upset Cloud Guy "".

which even if it hadn't been revealed that it was all an act by him just to mess with them it would still make Poppy look bad since she Refused to do anything about his Blatant Bullying yet got mad at his victims when they stood up for themselves.

and not to mention made excuses for why his behaviour wasn't so bad making out like he only Harassed them because he was trying to help them which is just all kinds of wrong.

2. a lesser example but still a bad example imo is in the Trollstopia episode where Dante uses Branch as his muse and he stalks him breaks into his home and disrupts his daily Jobs which he does.

and when he goes to Poppy for help she makes out like Dante's behaviour is reasonable and tells Branch to suck it up.

and after Branch does something to get Dante to back off Poppy then gets mad at him when Dante isn't able to come up with any music ideas like that's somehow Branch's problem?

Dante needed help but Rather than ask for it he just went ahead and took it by invading someone's privacy.

and breaching their trust and then Poppy made out like Branch was wrong for setting down Boundaries with him which is just iffy to be honest feels like this episode was written by Joe Goldberg or something lol.

3. and there's Creek as I've said in the past I love him lol but I do agree that his Return in TBGO could have been done better where he could have had a little arc of slowly earning back people's trust maybe over the span of a few episodes.

4. some people like to go on about the Bergens being forgiven too easily and I agree to an extent but given how Gristle Jr couldn't exactly punish the majority of the population I don't think they really had much choice in this matter.

I feel the only problem is them acting all chummy with the rest of the Bergens like letting them off for killing their species is one thing but acting like friends with them is a whole other like staying friends with Bridget and Gristle is fine given their history and the fact that they were too young to have eaten any Trolls prior to the escape.

but acting friendly with the rest of them feels a tad insensitive like in the opening of TBT we see Branch and Poppy acting all chummy with Random Bergens and Branch even High fives a couple of them and I was just thinking to myself

"" dude they probably ate someone's loved ones in the past how would you feel if you saw other Trolls giving Chef a friendly High five? ""

5. anyway moving on there's Barb who enslaved countless people destroyed their homes and tried to wipe out all other kinds of music and she was let off in the end.

its not even like she had a last minute change of heart she literally just got beaten and that's the only reason why her plan didn't succeed and afterwards she was just instantly forgiven.

6. Bro zone I've already talked about them in Depth in the past but yeah unreliable selfish insensitive and at worst cruel not to mention they never truly change their ways.

they keep on doing the same crappy behaviour and they don't show that much remorse for their past actions yet they still get forgiven in the end Despite everything.

because yaaaay family is amazing even if they Treat you like shit over and over again.

the films message feels like it was written by a toxic parent to please other toxic parents to be honest which judging by how this film won over general audiences I'd say it worked like a Treat lol.

so yeah Despite my love for it Trolls overall as a franchise has a serous problem with actually Holding people accountable for their crappy actions and Behaviours I feel the only exception is Veneer as even tho his turn at the end felt Rushed and out of nowhere imo.

I was pleasantly surprised that the movie didn't just let him off the Hook and he still got arrested and accepted the punishment for his crimes in the end.

I feel the same thing should have happened with Barb given everything she did.

anyway if you've made it to the end of my post thank you you have the patience of a saint lol anyway what do you think about this aspect of the franchise?

#trolls branch #trolls #dreamworks trolls #trolls brozone #trolls band together #branch trolls #trolls dreamworks #branch #brozone #trolls 3 #Trolls #Trolls Branch #Trolls Bro zone #Trolls Brozone #Trolls bro zone

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jalenay · 23 days

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Nothing's Wrong with Dale - Publishing Update May 4 2024

So my work work is starting to relax - it'll be 'normal' working hours after May 15, but i'm manifesting some early additional free time (by ignoring some of the things i still have left to do) and i thought i'd give an update on my current NWWD plan to fill you guys in (if anyone wants to know) and to motivate myself to, you know, do it.

let me know what you think and if you have any questions! or if there's anything else you want to know!

So the overall plan is as follows:

First Rough Edit - this is basically just changing the POV from 2nd POV to 3rd POV. This is very tedious and currently what I'm doing right now. I'm also making a list as I go for high level updates/changes i want to make. Just thinking about the story as a whole and what tweaks i want to make now that the whole thing is finally done (primarily moving exposition around, if there's anything extra i can remove, timing of when certain things are discussed, and so on).

My Main Edit - this will be more time consuming but probably more fun as i do my main revise and edit of the story as a whole. i'll likely print the entire story out, make edits on hard copy, and then type up all the edits. I will also probably be sending the updated chapters to my main beta, for her opinion. (this would be the person i first texted about Dale in Dec 2021, she deserves first look lol)

Editor - After I'm happy with what I've done, i'll send the entire thing over to my editors, the main ones who worked on DSM. This will likely take a good amount of time (DSM took one month) but in many ways involves less effort from me lol. Just nerves.

Cover, Self-publishing Details - while my editors have the manuscript, I'll be narrowing down what I want the cover to look like and hiring a cover artist. (i've got a short list of artists right now, but i'll probably continue to refine that). I'm bad a visualizing covers and so this will be hard for me, although i have some basic ideas. i'll need to gather reference photos too and then work with the artist. I also want to publish more widely than just Amazon and will hopefully get DSM out to other places as well as a test run before NWWD. Look into more marketing? This is the most miscellaneous of the steps.

Process Edits - actually go through all the edits and notes given to me by my editor. This takes a lot of time (and is mentally taxing - no one likes to read pages of people telling you what you need to fix about what you wrote even if its overall extremely helpful and necessary)

Finalizing - I'll send the edited version to my first beta and another ARC reader/friend. I'll work on the formatting for the book. Coordinating where it will be published and when.

Publishing!

This is a loose list of steps that I mostly defined right now, but are similar to what i did with DSM. As i said, I'm in step one, currently just finished Chapter 25 of 36 of that rough edit.

I'll try to provide some updates on the process at it moves along, if people are interested in hearing about that. I'll most likely keep those updates on this blog, along with any other publishing specific commentary. if any one has any questions or thoughts on the whole thing, please feel free to send them to this blog or comment on this post.

I'm very excited to really dig into publishing NWWD and looking forward to sharing it with you!

Thanks to everyone for all their support - I wouldn't even be considering this (i probably wouldn't have even had a finished draft) with you!

#self-publishing #nothing's wrong with dale #writblr #writing #NWWD status #so excited to be making progress again #long road ahead but its gonna end with me having a full book published #so i'm beyond thrilled #publishing

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theosconfessions · 6 months

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[who is shocked that scarlett has the self-absorbed trait?]

its no secret that scarletts parents met on the bachelor and she subsequently gave her father A WHOLE BUNCH of shit for his behaviour on one. BUT...after scarlett broke up with her high school boyfriend [a teammate of her brothers boyfriend] over someoneeeee cheating she was thinking.. is something that brought her dad the love of his life eventually...really that bad? i mean dusty stood with him through everything..even some kids theo didnt even know about until recently... and theyre insanely devoted to one another now...maybe the bachelor was a means for her to find that... because if scarlett was a honest..even if the cheating scandal kinda left her jaded..she missed those cute moments.. she missed going out on dates...she missed being catered too because i mean..come on. our girls a little high maintenance.. and if shes EVEN MORE honest with herself..she missed being hugged. maybe the bachelor isnt so bad after all?maybe she'll find her ever after too? i mean if theo can, she can.. right?

RULES:

boys/girls/agender-all are welcome- no occults as the werewolves always startle me. lol. cc is good :)

no love traits. any other traits are fine.

backstories are welcome because itll help me shape the story arc of this bc.

all interactions will be on their own accord/i will probably end up making poses bc i cant help myself

scarlett will be on birth control because hot damn we know how this can get.

you gotta be okay with some dramz. scarlett is a little rough. especially as an adult.

ive already had some lovelies make me some GORGEOUS sims which ive already accepted :3 sims can be sent to me privately if you can :3

but im accepting entries until

JANUARY 4 🩷

either send me an ask/dm with their cc/tray files or tag me :3

#love is embarrassing bc #who cheated on who i say?#scarlett kline #the sims 4 #ts4 #the sims #ts4 gameplay #sims 4 #simblr #the sims community #the sims 4 community

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takeme-totheworld · 5 months

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I've been thinking about the fact that a lot of us identify so strongly with these characters because we identify strongly with their trauma. The specific trauma of either Aziraphale or Crowley mirrors something from our own life in a way that makes them feel intensely real to us.

And that's definitely true in my case. Aziraphale's traumas and flaws and character arc mirror my own life in such a way that watching GO is an extremely powerful experience for me. But I'm specifically reminded of a much younger version of myself. The very first time I watched the show, I noticed it during the Garden of Eden scene. I'd never read the book, knew nothing about the show except it was an angel and a demon everyone shipped, and in the very first scene I was texting one of the friends who had been urging me to watch it like "lol omg why is Aziraphale literally me in high school??" (I'm almost forty, high school was awhile ago.) So it's like this intense reliving of that time of my life, how painful it was and how lost I felt and yes, some of the truly obnoxious shit I did and said while I was struggling to figure it all out.

The other thing, though, is that I'm still a very Aziraphale-coded person, just in terms of my overall personality and vibe and strengths and weaknesses. And that's the other really meaningful thing I've taken from the show, actually, because I'm like an Aziraphale who finally completely broke free from Heaven and then got a lot of therapy. (Seriously. So much therapy.) Which isn't to say that I'm now some totally evolved paragon of mental health. I'm not. I think what I'm trying to say is that my identification with Aziraphale isn't just about the trauma. It's about the good bits, too. And it's actually really comforting and affirming to be reminded that working through a bunch of my stuff in therapy hasn't made me any less me. It hasn't changed me into a whole different person.

One of the most Crowley-coded people I've ever met is my therapist. (It's probably why we clicked. I could not possibly have done a bunch of intense trauma therapy with someone who was too much like me.) He's a really good therapist, and like any really good therapist, he's done the work on himself so that he's not walking around being a bundle of unresolved issues while he's trying to help clients. But he's still very Crowley-coded. He's got the sass, the quick wit, the fun clowning around energy. He would totally be a demon who glued coins to the sidewalk. He comes across like a Crowley who's content and comfortable with himself.

Not just about the trauma.

These characters aren't just their traumas, and neither are we.

#good omens #aziraphale #crowley #personal

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aihoshiino · 6 days

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chapter 150 thoughts!

Chapters Since The 143 Kiss Happened And Went Entirely Unacknowledged And Unaddressed Count: 7…. ttttttechnically? they don't actually mention that the kiss happened, so i'm counting it…

ladies, gentlemen and those who know better, our long national nightmare is finally over

after… literally I've lost count of how long it's been since we had some proper Aqua introspection, our landmark chapter 150 is almost entirely dedicated to putting us back in Aqua's head (quite literally!) and sort of catching up with him. Some things about Aqua that have been mostly only communicated through showing over telling are explicitly told in text and i'm ngl, there's one or two things where seeing textual confirmation of them got me barking like a fucking dog. Overall, while the pacing of the start of this arc has been bit clunky and this chapter itself isn't free of that either, it actually feels like things are moving and meaningful characterization is happening which after the Movie Arc is a bit of a luxury lol.

As usual, I want to gush about Mengo's art before I touch on anything else. Setting the majority of this chapter in a dream sequence allowed her to do some incredibly fun things with the staging and imagery here. Aqua in that eerie void with his feet drenched in blood… Aqua and Gorou still stuck in that hallway where Ai died, while Ruby has managed to take steps to leave… It's so fucking good.

There were some absolutely top tier Kanas this chapter, too… her little baby tantrum in flashback and that gorgeous final page of her… But I'm getting ahead of myself.

While I described this chapter up top as being communicating things about Aqua, it very much feels to me like it's also serving as closure for Gorou, both in the sense of him as a person and resolving the posthumous arc that he's been going on as part of Aqua. This chapter at last draws a clear and explicit distinction between the two, that Aqua is no longer Gorou, even if he might have been built on the foundation of his identity. Gorou is even described as a 'role' that Aqua has been compelled to play that Gorou himself is now urging him to step down from - he is offering to relinquish Aqua's future back to him… if that's what Aqua wants.

This was how I'd initially read the relationship back in my 143 review - that 'Aqua Hoshino' created from Gorou, his core values and driving ideals, but 18+ years of living a whole new life in a whole new social role, meeting people and having experiences Gorou would never have and literally having a different body and brain in the process have made him different and the sum total of those differences is the person we call Aqua Hoshino. This chapter seems to lean into this interpretation, casting them as a pair of briefly intersecting lines that once crossed but have now diverged onto their own paths.

I also just really liked the dynamic that they were shown to have this chapter. Whenever we've seen this conflict externalized in the past, Gorou has always been this frightening, overwhelming presence whose existence actively prevents Aqua from having any kind of happiness or peace. Here, though, they have a much less adversarial energy, which is a really nice reflection of Aqua being able to gradually start pulling himself out of the shit he's been stuck in. Gorou almost feels fatherly or big brotherly here, not just in how he behaves in regards to Sarina-as-Ruby, but for Aqua, too.

But……….. okay, I'll stop dodging around the elephant in the room now lol

After over 25 chapters of very deliberately avoiding putting us in his headspace, 150 finally puts the ball in Aqua's court vis-a-vis the AquRuby tension and he answers in a way I think would be pretty hard to walk back: That Ruby is his precious sister and that's it. That her feelings for him are the result of her projecting Gorou onto him, chasing a ghost that is fading from this world and that she does not actually love him. Whoof.

This was another thing where seeing it in text felt pretty great. I'd caught pretty early on that there was a weird divide in the way the story was handling the AquRuby dynamic - namely, that there wasn't an AquRuby dynamic and all the supposed ship development of it was largely happening in retrospect, beefing up the intensity of the GRSR relationship and having Ruby express her feelings to Gorou-through-Aqua. When the idea of Aqua and Ruby romance was floated, by contrast, it was always treated like a gag. With the Movie arc being as much of a mess as it was, it was hard to work out what the intentionality of that was (if there was any to begin with) but this seems to make it about as clear as it can be: neither Gorou or Aqua have any had any feelings of that sort of Sarina-through-Ruby and neither of them want to pursue romance with them.

Once again tapping into my powers of Claire-voyance, I already know a lot of people are trying to insist that this is Aqua lying to himself or 'settling' and that he does secretly want a relationship with Ruby for reals! but that really isn't how it comes across to me in the art. He's calm, speaks straightforwardly and without hesitation and makes his point pretty clear. We know how it looks when OnK character lie to themselves and this isn't really it. It would also just be strange for that to be the case when this is a scene about Aqua starting to consider the idea of moving past the things that hurt him and live out his future with someone.

And who that someone is… seems to be coming into focus, but I don't think we'll be getting there quite yet.

I will say that for as much as I liked this as a chapter and as a goodbye for Gorou… it kind of doesn't really make a lot of sense as a resolution for his guilt lol. This chapter frames things in such a way that centers his guilt on Sarina and that seeing her live her life as Ruby has given him some catharsis over it. This is a sweet idea but… that's, uh, not how this was framed anytime prior! When we've seen Gorou intrude on Aqua's happiness before, his self hate and his guilt all center on Ai's death and his inability to save her. The last time we saw him in this capacity in 95, that's what he was saying with his whole chest: that he deserves to suffer as punishment for Ai's suffering, Ai's death. I'm sure that knowing Sarina is living on as Ruby was very cathartic but… it has nothing to do with Ai! Why is this being framed as narratively resolved in this way?

Like… if I chew on it a bit, I can make it make sense: since chapter 1, Gorou has been pretty open about projecting Sarina onto Ai, processing his grief that way and imagining her living vicariously through Ai's success. The idea of Ruby doing the same by continuing Ai's legacy and keeping her radiance alive being the thing that gives him release over Ai's death is interesting and I can understand it emotionally, it just feels like a weird unexplained leap for the narrative to make. I was talking to a friend about it, trying to work it out by externalizing it, and they theorized that this was always the intended endpoint of Gorou's posthumous arc but that the story had drifted in the middle section and Akasaka hadn't quite realigned them. This makes a lot of sense to me and I wouldn't be surprised if it was the case.

I will say that it really bugs me. I've already talked about the ways Ai's importance to the twins as their mother has been gradually downplayed and diluted as the Movie Arc has gone on. In my original post, I attributed this to Akasaka trying to amp up the intensity of the GRSR -> AQRB relationship in a soap opera-y sort of way, but given that this chapter seems to shut down AquRuby, I don't really know if that's the case. In general, Ai has been treated as sort of narratively 'resolved' as of 137, as if that chapter was the capstone to her posthumous character arc and while that might be the case for Ruby… I really don't think it is for Aqua!

It's possible that this is intentional. Aqua still has a shitton of work to do on unfucking his relationship with Ai and the ways his view of her, as implied by the Movie Arc, is warped by his grief. I could see this final stretch of the story being primarily about that - after all, this chapter is about confronting Aqua with the binary choice of revenge or love. In a lot of ways, this has always been what he's struggling with but putting the ball this firmly in his court establishes Ai's death entirely as his own trauma that he has to work through on his own. After all, Aqua might have confronted Gorou in this chapter, but there's a certain someone we also saw in chapter 95 that Aqua hasn't dealt with yet…

I'm talking about Kana, obviously! (ducks thrown tomatoes)

I don't have a ton to say about the AQKN romance setup in this chapter other than… yeah, I kinda saw this coming! It's interesting to see Gorou, the representation of Aqua's guilt and self destruction, be the one to so directly confront him and push him towards trying to find some happiness with her. Aqua quietly noting that he knows the things he likes about Kana and he knows that moving on with her makes a lot of sense - but what makes this especially interesting is the way it mirrors Kana's own reflection on her relationship with Aqua at the end of the chapter.

I like that a lot of the AQKN moments the two reflect on are just… mundane, everyday instances of the two of them stumbling through life together. I've seen a lot of people say AQKN is 'boring' or 'flat' because it lacks the drama of AQAK or AQRB but honestly, I feel like this is what makes it work (when it does work) - their relationship, whatever form it takes, is a safe and quiet space where they can just exist outside the drama and transactional utility of so many of their other relationships.

That said, while those montages mirror each other, what makes them interesting is their divergence point. Kana decides to commit to choosing 'love', with that absolutely gorgeous full page panel, but Gorou hands the knife - the symbol of the violence that blighted Aqua's life - back to him and makes it clear that love or revenge, the choice is now entirely in Aqua's hands. We don't see what he chooses, but… if Oshi no Ko really is a story with a happy ending, I think it's a foregone conclusion. And that makes me really happy.

Not that it's happening anytime soon, lol. I'll be very shocked if Kana's confession doesn't result in a rejection from Aqua, at least at this point in time - there's too much else going on in the story for this to be the right place for Aqua to commit to Kana. She's still an idol, after all and Kamiki is still around. The bets I'm placing right now are that AQKN are going to get their resolution, whatever form it takes, at the Dome concert during or after Kana's graduation.

As for their date… Call me cynical, but I also don't see it going particularly well. After all…

Aren't we forgetting somebody?

#oshi no ko #oshi no posting #onk spoilers #chapter reviews

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aerequets · 2 years

Text

green envy, silver tongue

ao3

rating: G

genres: fluff, humor

summary: But for someone like her, who messed up so often, and couldn’t do basic things required of a grown woman…

Well, she’d complain about herself too. It still didn’t make it hurt any less.

Or: Yor goes to Loid's workplace, and can't get what Fiona said all that time ago out of her mind.

a/n: I keep thinking about how in chapter 30 fiona was straight up lying about loid complaining about yor at work. I know loid reassured yor at the end of that whole arc about her capabilities and him wanting her to stay in the family and whatnot but like. For all we know yor is still out here thinking loid complains about her at work!! IT BUGS MEEEE so i was thinking what would happen if loid found out, and this happened.

Anyways i literally spent all day working on a dang essay and i told myself i would go to sleep but instead i just started writing MORE STUFF and it’s so late now gosh its 2 am. Enjoy LOL

Yor gazed up at the incriminating hospital building and gulped, the paper bag in her grip crinkling. She had to consciously remind herself to ease up before she pulverized Loid’s lunch in her hands and rendered her whole trip useless.

Hospitals were bad enough on their own. Yor had a ritual of avoiding them ever since she’d taken up her assassin job to avoid doctors prodding at her scars and other dubious markings, which was all to say that it had been a terribly long time since she’d gone near one for herself. But she felt like even if she weren’t an assassin—which was a very fat if— she would still have the urge to leave Loid’s forgotten lunch by the door and hightail it out of there.

Which would be terribly rude and unseemly of any ordinary wife, so… this was for the best. She would go inside, even though it was Loid’s workplace, which meant it was Fiona’s workplace, which meant…

‘Dr Forger often complains about that at work. He grumbles that his wife is always—'

Which meant that it was the workplace of all the employees who, no doubt, knew her as some incompetent woman undeserving of someone like Loid.

She sucked in a breath through her teeth and swiftly turned around, pacing in circles. A nearby grandma looked on dubiously, scooting back on her bench. In other circumstances Yor would be more conscious of the image she was projecting, but at that moment it was a fine line between her thoughts and Loid’s lunch crinkling closer and closer to one dense ball of mass in her white-knuckled fists.

Loid had already assured her that she would stay as the Forger mother for the sake of their cover, that Fiona was no real threat. That was all well and fine, even if Yor felt an uncomfortable twisting in her heart at some moments for no apparent reason. It was fine. But that didn’t change the fact that, apparently, Loid had complaints about her that he voiced at work. And honestly, she couldn’t even blame him. People (as in, mostly her own coworkers) often said that work was for complaining about home and vice versa, and Yor knew she would definitely complain about Loid… if she ever had any reason to. As it stood, he was essentially the perfect man in every way—an objective fact, she wasn’t being biased or anything—so she never had anything to voice. But for someone like her, who messed up so often, and couldn’t do basic things required of a grown woman…

Well, she’d complain about herself too. It still didn’t make it hurt any less. She groaned and squatted down on the sidewalk, hugging the lunch to her chest. The grandma staunchly got up and walked away, and Yor sighed.

She was afraid to go inside and hear what his coworkers would say upon seeing her. Probably the same things Camilla and the girls had often said to her in the past, if they were any indication of what normal people would think: How did someone like you bag someone like him? How much are you paying him? Are you threatening him?

(Nevermind that Yor could easily threaten anyone into doing anything for her—she wouldn’t.)

She sighed and looked up at the building once again. Already ten minutes had passed since she’d arrived at the hospital. She could have been in and out by now. Instead, here she was, agonizing over yet-to-happen interactions with people whose faces she didn’t even know.

Argh, get it together, Yor! She slapped her cheeks and sprung up with a renewed vigor. That was right—none of these people had met her yet. If they had any preconceived notions of her, this was her chance to dispel them. To prove to them what a stellar wife she was—even if she wasn’t actually. Doing so would strengthen the Forger family front. At the very least, she would be protecting herself from the SSS! That’s right—do this for the sake of your assassin job! Do this to protect Anya, Loid, and Bond! With this new conviction, Yor finally marched up the steps to the hospital and opened the door.

There wasn’t much fanfare—it was exactly as she had expected, even if she hadn’t been to a hospital ever since a young Yuri had fallen badly that one time ages ago. The hospital was fancier than any she had been in before, and no doubt bigger, but the atmosphere was the same. The same smell of antiseptics hung in the air that lingered around Garden warehouses, too, the only difference being a lack of the cloying perfume of flowers. Yor headed to the front desk, a little timid but mostly holding it together. She kept repeating the same mantra in her head— do it for your job, do it for your family!— and hastily tried to smooth out the wrinkles in her skirt as she approached the receptionist.

“Hello, how may I help you today?” The lady at the front desk asked politely upon seeing her. Yor admired the perfect application of lipstick on the bow of her upper lip for a second before replying.

“Um, hello. I’m here to drop off my husband’s lunch. He left it at home. He’s Loi—uh, Doctor Forger…?”

The perfectly lipsticked mouth dropped open in a little gasp. “Oh, my! You’re Yor Forger?”

A spike of anxiety staked through Yor’s heart at those words. Even the receptionist knew about her? “Ah. Yes, that’s me…”

“My. You’re lovelier than I thought!”

“I know you may have heard some things about me, but I—wait, what?” Yor blinked. She discreetly turned around to see if perhaps there was a different Yor Forger behind her that the receptionist was referring to. “Lovely? Me?”

The lady laughed. “Demure, too! Your husband’s office is on the fourth floor, room 806B. The lunch hour is just about to start, so you’re right on time.”

“Um… right,” Yor replied, feeling a little lightheaded. “Thank you very much.” She swayed off towards the stairs, head spinning. Was that some kind of concealed jab that she just couldn’t understand? The lady’s face didn’t look smug or snide. She hadn’t laughed either. But Yor just couldn’t make sense of that interaction. Lovely. Demure.

Yor shook her head. She was past it. All she had to do now was deliver this lunch to Loid and get out, ideally without running into anyone.

Of course, she ran into someone right as she rounded the bend after going up one flight of stairs.

The person yelped as they lurched back. Yor’s eyes tracked the arc of coffee that followed the cup that went sailing out of their hand. Without thinking twice, Yor swiftly spun the person behind her to save them from any stray drops of hot coffee. She tossed the bagged lunch to her right hand before using her freed-up left hand to snatch the cup out of the air, following the trail of airborne coffee with its styrofoam mouth. It was over in less than three seconds: The person, bewilderedly blinking up at her from the landing of the second floor, while she stood on the stairs, lunch clutched in one hand and a mostly-full cup perched in the other. Three more seconds were dedicated to stunned silence before Yor hurriedly set the bagged lunch down on one of the steps to hoist the person up.

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to run into you,” she flustered, flushed with apology. Darn it, Yor! She’d been lost in thought and almost caused a nasty accident. Upon checking the person for any injuries, she realized from his white coat and name card that he was a doctor. You almost injured a doctor!

“...Goodness,” the man finally said. He adjusted his glasses with an astonished blink. “You have some incredible reflexes, miss!”

“O-oh, it’s nothing really,” Yor fumbled, waving her hands. She was just glad he wasn’t hurt. Or angry. That helped matters. “I’m sorry again. Here’s your coffee.” She handed him the cup, which he took and gazed at as if it were some ancient artifact.

“Please, it was my fault for not watching where I was going,” he replied, a broad smile growing on his face. “Could I get your name, miss?”

“It’s Yor. Yor F-Forger.”

His eyes got wider, if at all possible, before he threw his head back in a short laugh. “Forger, eh? Married to Loid?”

Yor shifted uncomfortably. It seemed like there was nobody that didn’t know her faux husband in this place. Anya had told her after visiting his workplace that ‘Papa is very popular, he makes desperate conneshuns’, but she hadn’t quite processed the extent to which Anya’s words were true until now. “Um, yes. I’m his wife.”

“Gosh, he wasn’t kidding! You really are—” Yor winced in anticipation of his next words. “—incredibly athletic.”

For the second time in nearly as many minutes, Yor did a double take. “Huh?”

“You helped him train for that tennis competition, didn’t you? I’ve personally never heard of such a thing, a work tennis competition,” he tacked on, almost an afterthought as he rubbed his chin. “But regardless, I hear he completely decimated the opposition. You must have whipped him into shape real good!”

“W-what? I didn’t—not really—uh,” Yor said intelligently. Her tongue was failing her. To be fair, what was going on? Either she was even worse at reading social cues than before, or these people were being… nice. They had heard good things about her. But from who?

Certainly not from Loid…? The very thought made her heart skip a beat. He was gentlemanly and no doubt one of the kindest people she knew, but she couldn’t think of any reason he would have to speak good of her, especially when she wasn’t present for him to have to be nice. She was always messing up and causing trouble.

But the doctor in front of her waited, expression open without disgust or amusement. She cleared her throat, suddenly finding it choked up.

“I—thank you, you’re too flattering. I didn’t really do much. Loid did well because of his own skill,” she said. Her face felt warmer by the second. “If you’ll excuse me now, I actually have to deliver him his lunch.”

“Oh, of course. Don’t let me hold you up. I was on my way down for lunch myself,” the doctor said. He bent down and handed Yor the bag she’d left on the step. “Tell Forger I said hello, would you? He sure is a lucky guy.”

Lucky how? Yor thought, but she gratefully accepted the bag from the man nonetheless. “Thank you,” she smiled, before turning around and ascending the stairs (this time on the side closest to the wall). She felt strangely out of breath, though a couple flights of stairs were peanuts compared to her usual physical activity.

Fortunately, Yor made it onto the fourth floor without any mishaps. There were people milling about as they made their way out for lunch, but all she got were polite smiles and nods in her direction. It felt a little surreal. She’d come in expecting a lion’s den, and was instead met with…a pen of cute bunnies?

After a couple minutes, she finally found room 806B. Hoping that Loid was still inside, Yor hesitantly knocked twice on the door.

After a beat, his voice rang out. “Sorry, I’m not seeing any more patients until three o’clock.”

Yor inched the door open. Loid’s back was turned; he was digging through his briefcase, grumbling something under his breath that even her keen ears couldn’t pick out. The door hinge squeaked and he straightened, turning his head just enough to reveal a terse wrinkle between his brows. “I said I’m not seeing—”

The wrinkle smoothed out and his expression shifted into one of surprise as they made eye contact. He quickly turned the rest of the way around. “Yor? What are you doing here?”

“You forgot your lunch,” she replied, finding it hard to meet his eyes. She didn’t see him wearing his white coat often. Keep it together, Yor! “I thought I would bring it to you.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” he said, appreciative. “What about work?”

“My shift doesn’t start until later.” She held out his lunch, trying not to cringe at its bedraggled appearance. He crossed the distance between them and took the bag. Their fingers brushed and she flinched.

“Uh, sorry it’s so wrinkled. Almost had a couple spills, haha! Actually, the one who almost had a spill wasn’t me, it was another gentleman I ran into,” she babbled. “Oh, he actually told me to tell you hi. I think his name was a… mister Clark…?” She faltered, trying to recall the name on his namecard.

“Oh, you met Doctor Clarkson,” Loid said. “Easygoing fellow with the glasses?”

Yor nodded. “That’s the one! Is he your friend?”

“We’re acquainted. He’s a good man,” Loid replied in an easy manner, leaning back onto the table and crossing his ankles. Yor fidgeted, feeling out of place with his grace and white coat and doctor’s office. “Why? Did he say anything to you?”

“Not really, he just mentioned the tennis tournament you won,” Yor responded. “He was surprisingly nice to me.”

Loid laughed, good-natured. He’d begun to open the lunch bag. “Why is that surprising?”

“Oh, you know.” Yor gestured vaguely in an ‘isn’t it obvious?’ manner with her hands. Loid crooked a brow, pausing with the bag.

“I’m… not sure I do.”

“What? Oh.” Nervousness and embarrassment promptly burned her cheeks. She hadn’t meant to make an offhand comment like that. What if Loid thought she was being passive aggressive? Worse, what if he thought she was attacking his character and decided he didn’t want her as a fake wife anymore?! She could picture the scene with startling clarity: “After all I do for you, and you’re hung up about some comments I make at work?” Imagination-Loid had a disgusted curl in his lip that Yor had only seen once when he’d stepped in Bond’s poo. “Don’t you know that’s what normal people do? Are you even normal? Get out of my house!”

Yor quickly backtracked. “I-I don’t blame you! This isn’t that. I mean, I totally get it. If it were me, I would do the same thing—I mean, if I were married to me—wait, no, if it were someone like me, and I was someone like you—”

“Wait, wait, Yor,” Loid interrupted, catching her hands—which had been wildly gesticulating— in his own. “I genuinely have no idea what you mean. Why would he not be nice to you?”

Yor stood frozen, searching his face. It was quite close to her own. His hands were large and warm and cupped almost fully around hers, which brought her back to when he’d fake-proposed to her. Despite the fact that they were practically strangers then, and that the circumstances at the time were less than ideal (and also the fact that they were hiding from an explosion behind a dumpster), Yor had never felt more reassured by someone else’s presence before. She’d always had to depend on herself, but to hear him say the vows—even if neither of them meant it—had filled her with a sense of relief.

I’ll be okay. This person understands me. We’re in this together, for better or for worse.

“I can’t do all the things that other wives and mothers do,” she said softly. “And you vent about it at work. I get it, Loid. It’s alright.”

The terse divot between his brows returned. “What? Who told you that?”

“Well… Fiona did. Back when she visited.”

Because their faces were so close, she could see when his nostrils flared for a split second, the minute clenching of his jaw. His hands tightened around her own. He seemed to work something in his mind over several times, opening his mouth and then abruptly stopping. She had never seen him struggle to speak before, eloquent as he was. Word-vomiting was more her forte.

“I don’t know what Fiona told you,” he finally said, a certain bite to his words. “But if she said I speak badly of you, it isn’t true. I’d never—I can’t even think of what I could possibly say. You get that, right, Yor?” He bent his neck, staring into her eyes with a peculiar ferocity, as if her understanding of his point was more important than anything else.

“Oh.” Her arms twitched; she tamped them down with vigor. She was not going to ruin this moment (and possibly Loid’s office) by subconsciously smacking him. “You don’t have to say that. I understand if—”

“No,” he cut in. “I mean it, Yor. I meant it when I said you’re second to none.” His eyes bored into her own. “Okay?”

She could feel the heat flooding her cheeks. The weird choked-up feeling was back in her throat, and when she sniffled, she was horrified to feel congestion in her sinuses. She closed her eyes to save herself some embarrassment and dipped her head. “Right. Yes. Thank you, Loid.”

After a second or two, Loid abruptly pulled his hands back. She opened her eyes to see him pulling at his collar.

“It’s stuffy in here. The ventilation isn’t so good in this wing of the hospital,” he said, unprompted. Yor supposed it explained his reddening ears. “When does your shift start?”

“Oh, in about…” Her eyes drifted to the clock on the wall with a gasp. “Forty five minutes?!” She’d wasted more time dallying outside the hospital than she’d thought! “I’m really sorry—I better hurry home and get ready for work!”

“No worries,” Loid replied. “I’ll walk you out.”

“You don’t have to!” Yor squeaked, but all he sent her in response was a raise of his eyebrows. She figured it wasn’t worth it to argue with him. Besides, the idea of everyone else seeing them together was… kind of nice. Oddly enough. Yor decided not to dwell on it as they headed out. Loid was clearly very well known, as nearly every minute someone would spot him and say hello. And, weirdly enough, whenever that happened, their eyes would shift over to Yor before they said something along similar lines:

“Whoa. Is this the lady of the house, doctor?”

“It’s the esteemed Mrs. Forger.”

“Watch out, folks! Forger couple coming through!”

By the time they reached the ground floor, Loid’s ears were glowing red, decidedly not because of the ventilation. He covered his face with a hand. “Maybe I should have just let you walk out alone,” he groaned. Yor giggled. She was sure her face looked like a fire hydrant, but for some reason none of the comments bothered her. In fact, everyone at this hospital was awfully nice.

“I appreciate that you didn’t,” she grinned. He dropped his hand and turned to face her, and—how could someone look so endearing? With Anya, Yor thought it made perfect sense—she was the most adorable little child, with the silliest antics, and, she was pretty sure, scientifically unable to not love. But Loid was a grown adult. A man. She cared about him, yes, just like she cared about the whole Forger family, but this was different. There was some kind of electric undercurrent that she could feel lining her nerves as she traced his face with her eyes, committing it to memory. I meant it when I said you’re second to none.

Maybe… Loid did speak well of her behind her back. Praised her, even? She couldn’t fathom the idea of anyone complimenting her like that, but clearly it wasn’t the way Fiona said it was. And in any case, what Loid thought mattered to her more than what Fiona said.

In a startling moment of clarity, she realized that what Loid thought mattered to her, period. She wanted to know his opinions, his likes, his dislikes. His tastes in food, venues, and clothing. His taste in…women.

Since when did that matter?

“Loid,” she started, “I—”

A caterwauling whistle pierced the air between them, making her nearly jump out of her skin. They turned to see an older man grinning at them.

“That your wife, Forger? Bring her around here more often!” He skulked off. Loid grit his teeth and clenched his fist.

“Director Gorey, that absolute…” He took a deep breath and turned back to her. “I’m so sorry about him. What were you saying?”

Yor blinked. What was she going to say? That whistle from the odd man suddenly made her cognizant of the numerous eyes on them that had somehow faded into the background just moments prior. She stiffened up.

“Uhh, just that I-I hope you enjoy your lunch! I better hurry now, see you later, thank you enjoy your lunch I already said that bye!” She whipped around and booked it out of the hospital. Though she’d imagined herself doing exactly that just an hour prior, she hadn’t predicted that she would feel like she was walking clouds while doing it. Or that there would be a giant grin on her face that she wouldn’t be able to keep down.

Maybe she ought to visit Loid at the hospital more.

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eriexplosion · 26 days

Note

I never let myself really believe they'd bring Tech back (because Occam's razor, or whatever). And I'm so used to weird/bad writing choices from other works that I'm mostly able to shrug my shoulders and go "aw rats, disappointment again :\" about TBB's ending.

... But I still feel kinda hollowed-out, post-finale. I'm not autistic (I think), but my sibling is, so it meant something to my old withered heart that a Star Wars show about family would have a confirmedly-ND character among their cast (though, somewhat tangentially, I agree with your post about all of the Bad Batch being arguably ND-coded). I was delighted that he was well-written, and that he'd eclipsed the stock "smart guy" trope he'd started out as in TCW.

And, I dunno. I feel like a sucker, having hoped for a brief moment that the writers wouldn't throw all that away. And for what? People on reddit were saying for months on end that "his sacrifice is meaningful and shouldn't be wasted", but I can't agree. I think it would've been more meaningful had he lived.

I feel disappointed with the trajectory the back half of S3 took, and I don't think that's unreasonable. Even beyond the disappointment of "dang, they really did that?", S3 after the first handful of eps (imo) felt kind of... rushed? Underexplored? Like there should've been a season 4 (for pacing/development's sake) and various changes to the plot, but there weren't.

Told myself several years ago that I'd reserve judgment for the writing until the series was over and done with. And now that it's all just wrapped up, I suppose I'm stewing with my thoughts, a little. The character arcs all feel like they fell short of their potential payoff, to me -- and maybe I'll change my mind in a few months, but right now? Eh.

Crosshair's got PTSD/trauma that makes his hand shake? Cut off the hand. Omega's got potential force sensitivity/a decision to make concerning what to do going forward? Who cares about that. Tech's getting a decent (and suspicious, in hindsight) amount of character development? Better kill him off so the audience really feels the sting. Cid, Phee, CX-2, Echo, Scorch? Who cares about them; they can show up when their skills are needed and fuck off without halfway-decent closure when they aren't. The familial/sibling themes that were open to being explored? Eh; let's focus predominantly on this one father-child bond. Omega doesn't even need to say goodbye to Crosshair and Wrecker, lol. Foreshadowing and setup? What foreshadowing and setup.

... I'm realizing that I'm actually Quite disappointed lmao. In a lackluster "I don't know what I expected" kind of way. Time to read so many fix-its

There's just a lot that was set up that never came to fruition and it's frustrating when the show has been so good up until that point. And the thing is that Tech being CX-2 would have resolved at least some of it! The CX-2 plot obviously but also, Crosshair's guilt and trauma being helped by being able to fix at least one of his mistakes? Omega's guilt over putting her family in danger being relieved because she finally has them all back?

It didn't even need to be fleshed out, I wouldn't have cared. The only thing I wanted this whole show was the family to be together and complete. And not only did we not get Tech back but yeah Echo was basically just not counted as part of that and Phee was ignored in the end.

This season feels like it needed another editing pass to work as a whole, even though I'd liked everything up to the finale it didn't really end up coming together for me. I'd even have accepted Tech being gone if they had put actual mourning in the first half, instead of stringing it along with little mentions and the CX-2 stuff. I'd be frustrated and mad, but at least it would have felt like they respected him as a character.

Really the only good things I have to say is I think Nala Se blowing up the databanks was a fantastic end to her character that didn't really redeem everything she's done but did bring her to an interesting stopping point. And I am glad everyone else made it out alive. I'm glad that Crosshair especially did after everything he's been through, he's still my boy after all this time even if the Tech stuff has overshadowed a lot of his growth in my head.

#the bad batch #the bad batch spoilers #tbb spoilers #fandom salt #If anyone wants me to add a different tag to block these out with let me know #I know that it's a lot of feelings all over the place and I don't want to bother anyone who did enjoy the finale

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pyjamaart · 2 months

Text

I never needed such help / This is my SOS

(Content warning: self harm) (If you don't have a problem with that, huge Drillman essay under the read more lol)

When I said that I wanted to draw Drillman some more, this really wasn't what I had in mind.

This week, I've been shopping for music on various second hand sites, which made me realize I don't physically own one of my all time favorite albums: "Squaring The Circle" by Sneaker Pimps. I had to change that immediately. (As well as buying like 15 other CDs and vinyls, lol.) As I was listening to it once again, I realized just how much the song "SOS" reminded me of Drillman and his struggles.

If you don't want to look it up, here are some of the lyrics:

"I look much smaller seen from inside out/Far too small to see myself/Down on reflection, cast in hate and in doubt/Flawed and flaws I add myself"

"Oh mirror mirror hanging on the wall/Please just show me someone else/My hopes were low and I got so much so less/Nothing left to save myself"

Listen, this dude got some major problems with his self esteem. He feels like an embarrassment because he was forced into a life he never wanted by his father. Now he seeks revenge on the company that bought his families business, along with him and apparently his bodily autonomy. Think about that for a minute. How fucked would it be if your parents wanted you to be a doctor, but a requirement for that would be to have your hand surgically removed and replaced with a scalpel. That's the exact situation Drillman found himself in.

Now a lot of people probably think "Well why doesn't he just ask Dr. Light to give him a new pair of hands then, if he's this miserable?" This is where we get to one of Drillmans biggest problems: the refusal to ask for help in any way. And even after the finale of the season, why would he go to the Lights for help in the first place? Wasn't it Aki who thought the best way to help him through his problems was hypnotism? And in the process embarrassing him in front of the whole city, ruining the last bit of reputation he may have had? (For real though, that episode is so hard for me to watch. I just feel so so bad for him, since I really struggle with social anxiety myself.)

As the guys from the Youtube channel "The D-Pad" (who reviewed all of the MMFC episodes) fittingly commented: "This would be like fucking Vietnam for him." And they were right. Obviously, Drillman is horrified that Aki would humiliate him like this and lashes out, solidifying his opinion that asking for help is a bad idea.

In that episode, there's this one moment that really stuck with me. At around the 8 minute mark, while Drillman is having a breakdown over the terrible "music" Aki made him perform, there's this one shot where he takes a moment to look at the drills that replaced his hands in frustration. The camera perspective makes it seem as if we are experiencing this brief scene through his eyes. It's actually quite upsetting. (A link to the moment I'm talking about: youtu.be/OC_jdhoeTrE?si=ZPzAXu…)

This is also a perfect moment for me to gush over the voice acting for this scene. Andrew McNee did such a fantastic job of conveying Drillmans distress and anger through his voice. That reminds me, giving him a British accent was honestly such a good decision.

The reason he doesn't talk at all throughout most of his first appearance is probably because the writers wanted to surprise their audience a little. As in, you see this big, imposing construction robot and think "Oh man, what a brute. He probably has a pretty deep voice." And then he actually starts to speak and it's this sophisticated, well-articulated British voice instead. Quite the whiplash.

To get back to the original topic, I'm honestly still upset that they didn't give Drillman a redemption arc at the end of the show. This probably would have happened in season 2, as Mega Man even says at some point "I know deep down your inner bits are good", proving to me that the writers definitely had something in mind regarding Drillmans character arc.

And now that all of that is out of the way, we can finally get into headcanon territory.

You might have seen this image while browsing the tags and asked yourself, "Why is this Mega Man Fully Charged artwork littered with content warnings?" And well, now that you're here and reading this, you probably know why. I can't say I've ever made myself sick with a drawing before. That's a first for me.

My headcanon is, that after the finale of the show, Drillman is just utterly lost. Lord Obsidian, who sought him out specifically because he knew of Drillmans problems and offered him a place to stay and a way to get revenge on the people he thought responsible for his predicament, turned out to be a horribly racist human who was just using him to achieve his own devious goals. After getting his ass kicked by the Lights, the same people who had not only humiliated him in front of the whole city, but who had also left him stuck to his abusive father for an entire day (I bet that ride to the police station was horrible for all the people involved, most of all the police bots who had to hear the Drillmen yell at each other the whole time), Sgt. Night is detained by the police. We don't actually see what happens after that, because that's where the show ends.

I'd like to think that the Lights actually try to talk to the robot masters once everything is over, telling them all the horrible things their so-called "leader" has said and done. And most importantly, what he thinks of robots: That they're nothing but tools to him. That once they had gotten him his Mega key, he would have wiped their minds and turned them into mindless machines.

I'm guessing none of the robot masters would take these news well, but most of all Drillman. I think that after he ran away from Skyraisers Inc. and fought Mega Man for the first time, he was really relieved to have some place to stay and a new goal, maybe even a robot to look up to. That being Lord Obsidian of course. Who knows what lies he told Drillman and the others? Kinda sad that we never really got to see what the robot masters who stayed with Lord Obsidian did the entire day. When they weren't causing havoc in the city, that is.

None of them seemed really friendly with each other in the finale, now that I think about it. I guess "Obsidians robot sanctuary" wasn't really a great place to stay at after all. But still better than being homeless, like that one maniac living in the forest all by himself. Speaking of Woodman, in my AU, he and Drillman already knew each other at this point. This also reminds me of something I forgot to mention in my last post. While I'd love to see them interact in any way, because they're both my favorite characters, I don't ship them in any way whatsoever. I'd also like to think that Woodman and Drillmans father were schoolmates back in the day, maybe even friends? (I'm still holding onto those 30 years).

Anyway, after all the former robot comrades part ways, now without a leader, what was Drillman supposed to do? Once again betrayed by a trusted figure, feeling useless and without purpose, still with these stupid drills mounted to his body... Still too ashamed to ask for help. After all that has happened in the past few hours he begins spiraling, which ultimately leads him to make a very unfortunate decision. Trying to get at least some of the freedom in his life back, he attempts to get rid of the drills making up his body on his own, using the same tools that have haunted him all this time to finally rid himself of this burden.

He regrets this just seconds after, when he's left with an unresponsive limb, metal and wires exposed and oil splattered all over his orange plating. All he can do is stare at the stained drill in front of him in horror.

"I never needed such help/This is my SOS"

Jesus Christ that got dark. Sorry. I mentioned in my last post that Drillman possibly has really bad body dysmorphia, which I'm also trying to convey here. Don't worry, he really gets his hands back after this. Maybe the Lights find him after that and the good Doctor offers to fix him up. By which I mean not only his arm. Because apparently, Dr. Light also doubles as robot psychologist. I just really need Drillman to get his happy ending. He really really deserves it after everything he had to go trough over the course of the show.

I also need him to have a DJing redemption, besides the normal redemption. I've seen people headcanon that he exclusively likes classical music, but I personally don't believe that. He'd be the kind of music nerd who would say stuff like "I listen to everything" and then you look at his playlists and he actually listens to everything. Maybe not experimental noise rock, though. I can just imagine Aki and Suna helping him put on an actual show, this time without any hypnotizing bullshit, as a way for Aki to apologize for the dread he's caused Drillman during that incident. Drillman would be highly suspicious at first, but actually goes along with it in the end. Maybe they'd also take Fireman along, who Dr. Light also blessed with a brand new pair of hands. The punchline at the end would be that Drillman would have so much anxiety about embarrassing himself again, that he forgets to make an actual set list for the gig. In the end, he exclusively plays Lady Gaga songs, which no one complains about.

Alright then, enough yapping from me. I've really been writing this essay since 8pm. And now it's 2am. My god. I just have a lot of feelings about Drillman.

But now I really gotta go to bed. Stay safe peeps. I hope you actually read the content warnings. Jenny out.

#oh man i would like to formally apologize for this #just throwing my favorite blorbo into the shredder over here #if anyone needs me to add any other content or trigger warnings please please tell me i really dont wanna upset anyone with this #megaman #mega man #mega man fully charged #mmfc #drillman #drill man #self harm tw #its robot sh but juuuust in case yknow #robot gore tw

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