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#burst man mega man
zeibei · 1 year
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WHITE DAY 03/14
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he's never going to live this down
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z-ero-b · 30 days
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coffee! https://ko-fi.com/borezet
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catinflight · 26 days
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Who's your favorite out of the bunch?
...
Cough COUGH
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He's just so silly lol
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destinywillowleaf · 6 months
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sometimes all you need is a quiet moment together watching the fireworks to know everything's gonna turn out alright
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necronova242 · 7 months
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Hey yall, just a reminder that if you ever want more Mega Man in your life rn, THIS is the game you wanna go to.
Trust me, its fantastic.
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Be warned though, if you live in Japan this game is called "Gal* Gunvolt Burst" for some fucking reason😭💀
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megaman-fluffcanons · 8 months
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That post with Burst from a while ago gave me an idea-
How about festival date headcanons with Burst Man (with the festival ending in a fireworks show)?
It's alright if you can't write that
I don't write much for him so hell yeah I'll write for this!
*Burst Man had suggested a festival date for you two to go to
*You agreed since you haven't been to one in a long time
*You both had fun during the festival, enjoying the music and other fun events there
*You both talked as you walked around, you getting distracted by the many different things and events at the festival
*Burst Man had to make sure you didn't wander off/get lost
*As the festival was coming to a close, Burst Man brought you to a more secluded spot, where you could see the night sky
*You were a little confused, but went along with it
*It was then a fireworks show started, which was absolutely beautiful. You two watched the fireworks go off, not saying much else except for "oh that one was really cool/pretty"
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flash flood
(+tiding the storm)
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theletterwsartflap · 2 years
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I don’t tend to see many interpretations of him around, so: Burstman!
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You’re right when you say you don’t see many interpretations of him, I hardly see him at all as it is! I do like how he’s apparently a happy fella despite his appearance. I feel like because he enjoys fireworks he’s become friends with Blast Man! They probably make some pretty impressive fireworks shows when they get the chance to work together.
I do find it interesting some of his bombs are soap based. Maybe he runs a carwash in his spare time? … A carwash with a ballpit… that is his office, actually. You can’t convince me he wouldn’t like ballpits. Don’t worry though, it’s filled with completely safe, non explosive balls. Those big quarter gumball vending machines? Yup, those too. He’s got a theme and he loves it.
Some of his other spare time is probably spent trying out different chemical combinations for his explosives, and not necessarily for destructive possibilities. Some are probably just like sparklers, or maybe some just blow out bubbles, confetti… the possibilities are endless. You know, fun things that would go great with the festival season.
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auteurdelabre · 2 months
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A Little Sun Part 3.1 - Dieter!Bravo x f!Reader
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part one / part two
rating: 18+ (MINORS GET OUTTA HERE OR I'M TELLIN' YOUR MAMAS)
Story Summary: As a PA to megastar and mega man-child Dieter Bravo you've had your fair share of headaches. Getting accidentally pregnant with his baby however takes the cake, especially when he offers to pay you to be his surrogate. You just weren't expecting to fall in love with him along the way.
tags: Surrogacy, Pregnancy, Body changes re: pregnancy, Mutual Pining, Idiots in love, P in V, Dirty talk, Unprotected Sex, Romance, Oral (f receiving), Cigarettes, Drugs, Mentions of Parental Death, Vulnerable Dieter, Vulnerable Reader.
a/n: y'all I'm really annoyed because tumblr won't let me post the entire chapter in one post because of whatever reason. So if you wanna read it all in one go, I'm posting it to my A03.
dividers by @silkholland
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A LITTLE SUN
You burst into the house, kicking off your shoes and throwing your purse down onto the couch. Dieter looks up from his place on the chaise longue by the fireplace. 
"What?"
"Some old guy in the coffee shop overheard I was pregnant and he told me that I shouldn't drink decaf coffee and then he touched my fucking stomach."
"What?" Dieter is immediately on his feet, fists curling. A strange feeling has passed over him, this protective and strangely possessive feeling. You're his. You're carrying his baby. 
"Yeah and I was in such shock that I just let him. I fucking hate this," you say pressing your lips together tightly as you exhale through your nose. "As soon as your pregnant people suddenly feel like they have the right to touch you and give you unsolicited advice. It's so gross."
"I'm sorry," Dieter says, fighting the urge to touch your stomach himself. 
It's barely even three months and you're not showing. He hasn't actually touched you anywhere other than your hand since that first time he cradled your stomach. 
You see the way his dark eyes dart from your stomach to your face and back again. Can see the twitching in his fingertips as he thinks about it. 
"You can touch it," you tell him. "You won't feel anything but you can touch it."
Dieter is immediately at your side, his wide hand going to your belly. You'd expected him to go over the shirt so when his hand slides up your t-shirt to rest over your bare skin you're surprised.
You go to say something but you still when you see his face. His eyes are closed, brows saddled in concentration. It's impossibly sweet. And there's something comforting about his warm palm on your skin, a feeling you can't quite place. 
"Wish I could feel him moving."
"Won't be for a few months yet," you tell him. 
Dieter gives a thoughtful hum in response. His thumb slowly drags across your skin and you feel your breathing hitch for a moment. Up close you see the length of his dark lashes, the fullness of his mouth. Has he always been this handsome? Or is it the hormones? 
You pull his hand from under your shirt. "Okay that's enough." 
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“I said I am.”
“I never see you with it.”
“Jesus, Dieter! Do you want me to pull it out of my room?”
“Yeah, I do.”
“Oh for fuck’s sake.”
You storm into your bedroom, grabbing the yellow object from beside your bed and bringing it back into the living room where your boss/surrogate benefactor is waiting with his arms crossed.
“I told you, I put it on my belly every night. The baby hears your fucking Bravo mix tape every goddam night.”
“Every single night?” Dieter says disbelief. “What about Friday? You came home super late from that PA after works drink thing.”
“Dieter it was eleven when I got in,” you say rolling your eyes. “Besides, I don’t think the baby will suffer if it misses one or two-“
“I KNEW IT!” Dieter shouts animatedly. “You did skip a few days!”
In all honesty you’ve skipped plenty of days. Wearing those stupid fucking headphones over your belly is uncomfortable and boring as shit. You always read when you wear them because sleeping on your back is something you want to save for when you have no other choice. But lately you’ve been more tired and reading has been swapped for more sleeping.
Dieter looks beside himself as he begins pacing up and down the hallway, muttering to himself about being lied to. You recognize the signs almost immediately, shocked you overlooked them so easily before. Dieter is anxious. While most curl into or sequester themselves away, Dieter has always been a ball of anxiety that lashes out, fixating on everything other than himself.
“Dieter.”
“What?”
“What are you anxious about?”
Dieter pauses, face contorted into a defensive pose, lower lip stuck out. You almost hear his petulant: I’m not anxious. But the longer he stares at you the longer he realizes that you know him better than most. He just shakes his head, unable to formulate what has his insides doing a tap dance.
 “I know something’s wrong,” you tell him as you shuffle over to him and he’s relieved and thankful to see there’s no animosity there in the depth of your eyes. Without thinking you reach out and take one of his hands in yours and he notes your palm is freezing.
“Nothing,” he mutters to himself. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”
He sees the hurt pass over your face for a fraction for a second and he’s quick to clasp your hand tightly. “Is that okay?”
“Of course,” you say, retracting your hand.  “Why don’t you go in the studio and paint for a bit? Enjoy your day off.”
Dieter nods, padding off to his workspace while you give a sigh. You can tell something is up with him, even if he doesn’t want to admit it. It makes you ache for him in a way, knowing that he’s holding something so close to the chest. Normally he tells you everything.
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By four months you need to fuck something.
Toys aren't cutting it. You need a good fucking. You’ve decided that Josh will be a nice choice. You two have been fooling around a bit on set when you’re not being ordered around by Dieter who suddenly seems to need you every second you’re there.
So far it’s all over the pants stuff with Josh; mostly because you’re paranoid he’ll see your bare stomach and declare you pregnant. You don’t know why this concerns you, you don’t even look pregnant. Maybe a slightly swollen quality, but only you or Dieter (or your Mom!) would know the difference.
He doesn’t like you hanging around Josh and you can only assume it’s because Dieter doesn’t like to share his toys. You’re having his baby and so in his mind he gets to dictate everything. It’s fucking driving you insane.
You decide to approach Dieter about it directly, not wanting to bother the lawyer with this sort of thing. It seems embarrassing to have to go about it in this fashion, almost as if you have to ask permission for something quite personal. But this scenario is  new and you’re not exactly what’s within the realm of appropriate.
You find him painting in one of the rooms, cigarette hanging out of his mouth as he listens to some strange grunge band from Japan. You lower the volume as you enter. 
"Can we talk?"
Dieter turns, brows raised. "What's up?"
You look nervous, face warm and your fingers nervously drumming at your side. 
"Dieter, we uh, we never talked about one thing in the contract."
Dieter lowers the paintbrush, going to the sink to wash his hands as he waits for you to continue. 
"What's that?'
Fuck you feel awkward about this. How do you mention to your boss that you wanna go get laid? Your cheeks are heating and you nudge your toe absently against the doorframe.
"Uh, if it was okay if I wanted to go out with someone?"
"You want to date someone?" Dieter looks horrified, the cigarette dropping from his gaped mouth onto the floor. He retrieves it quickly, tossing it into the sink behind him before turning back to fix you with a glare. "I've known you for two years and you've gone on maybe three dates in all that time. Now you're pregnant and suddenly you want a boyfriend?"
"Not a boyfriend," you say quietly. "Just uh... a…"
"A hook-up?"
"Yeah."
"No fucking way!" Dieter insists much too forcefully for a man who tries to continually convince himself that he doesn’t want to fuck you himself. "Too dangerous! You could end up with a creep! What about the baby?!"
You roll your eyes. "Obviously I would be careful."
"No," Dieter shakes his head. "Too risky. What if they find out you work for me and ransom you?"
“It’s some-“ you stop yourself from giving too much away. “It’s not risky. I feel safe about it.”
“Well I don’t.”
A stand off about who you can fuck. Is this a joke?
"Dieter I'm really just giving you a heads up as a courtesy," you say icily. "You don’t control what goes in my vagina.”
Dieter blinks back his surprise a moment. You’ve never spoken to him like that. He can only assume that this is pregnancy hormones so he lets it slide. However, he’s still irritated about that annoying Josh hanging all over you. You turn to walk away from him.
"Well then as your boss," Dieter bites back, "I'm telling you that you can't fuck your little PA friend."
You stop your walking, turning to face him with a face contorted in rage.
"What?"
"You think I'm blind?" Dieter scoffs as he lights a fresh cigarette. "You think I don’t see you and that PA Josh making eyes at each other?”
You hate how he says PA, like Josh is pathetic for having the very job you yourself have. Not shocking – has Dieter ever really seen you as more than an extension of himself? More than the woman who plans his days and picks up his dry cleaning? Never.
"Dieter who else is there? He's the only single, straight guy near my age in this town!”
Dieter just stares at you, the end of his cigarette a red flare in the semi darkness. You throw up your hands in irritation, giving a growl and walking into your bedroom, slamming the door behind you.
///
BabiEDucate
15 weeks
Cravings: DICK. Also pickles - Related?
Missing: SEX. GETTING FUCKED.
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You try not to let the sex thing override the rest of your enjoyment of this beautiful land. Ireland is stunning from the moment you wake up until you go to bed. You’ve met the nicest people on set, you and the makeup girls go to the pub every Friday. You always order for the group and you always lie and say you’re having a rum and coke, but it’s really just a coke.
You think about inviting Josh over here tonight. So far it's been frantic kissing against pub walls and one remarkably disappointing phone sex experience that left you more frustrated than anything.
You're just so paranoid he's going to be able to tell you're pregnant that you've been holding back.
Plus there’s the whole Dieter thing.
“Mia and Dieter are working on a night scene tomorrow night,” Josh murmurs to you as you hang to the side one afternoon on set. You’re both hidden away from the actors who had broken for lunch. “Should give us plenty of time if we want to hang out.”
“Hang out?” you say with a flirtatious smirk up at him. “Is that what the kids are calling it?”
“Fucking your brains out then?” Josh huffs against your ear as goosebumps rise along your neck.
“Sounds great,” you nod.
“Let’s go to yours,” Josh suggests. “Mia and the crew are at some fancy hotel and they’ve all got big mouths. Dieter’s the big movie star with his own rental.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow at seven.”
///
Everything you own is ugly.
Plus you have a headache. Plus you look bloated and your tits fucking ache. You pull at the tights and cute babydoll dress you threw on hours ago because it was the only thing you owned that sort of hides the growing expansion of your midsection and isn’t sweatpants. You look at yourself in the bathroom mirror, applying some lip-gloss before sighing.
All this work just to get laid.
You look down at your stomach, frowning as you mutter quietly. “You’re already a pain in the ass and you’re barely bigger than a bell pepper.”
You give a roll of your eyes at yourself in the mirror before flicking off the lights and heading back out to the kitchen. Josh sits there with a beer giving you an expectant smile as you approach.
Dinner was nice enough (he brought thai food), the conversation free-flowing. You told Josh you didn’t want to drink since you had a bit of a migraine. Not a total lie. He brought you flowers, which is incredibly kind and also annoying because you’ll have to hide them in your room lest Dieter see them.
But you don’t want flowers and wine and seduction. You thought you’d already laid the groundwork for that. But here Josh is trying to ask questions about your family and life back home and all you can think about is the minutes ticking by where you’re not getting fucked.
“Let’s move to the couch,” you suggest casually. “I think I have a documentary on sharks recorded.”
“Yeah, lets,” Josh says smiling eagerly.
There we go.
Within minutes the two of you are on the couch making out. Josh has one leg between yours, his hands on either side of your face. He’s muttering something about how good you feel but you’re distracted, concerned that he can feel your stomach.
You wonder if you could suggest doggy style. That's the only position you think could work where he wouldn't see your stomach. You thought about passing it off as a food baby, but you don't want to take the chance.
He urges your hand to keep palming him through his jeans as he kisses you. He tastes like the wine he brought and the mints Dieter leaves laying around everywhere. Your hand goes there, feeling his length and sighing. You can’t wait to feel him inside you.
“You want daddy to give you more?” Josh hums against your lips before his tongue invades your mouth.
Daddy? Ugh. Mood killer.
"You gonna-"
Whatever Josh was about to say dies on his tongue as the door to the cottage opens. Dieter’s head swings around just in time to see Josh's hand covering yours on the vee of his jeans, your bodies practically melded together.
"Get out," Dieter barks, his eyes wild. He literally races over to you both on the couch, glowering over Josh like an overprotective father.  “Get away from her.”
Josh pulls away from you instantly, his entire face blanching. You reach for Josh as he stands abruptly. He's all mumbling apologies, pulling on his jacket and brushing past a very confused Mia who has just come in.
"What the fuck?" You say struggling to a stand. Your belly makes you go off kilter and you shake off Dieter's hand as he steadies you.
"What were you thinking?"
"I was thinking it was my night off and I wanted to enjoy it!" You explain angrily. "And you just chased off my date!"
"Your date?" Dieter looks beside himself with agitation. "Since when? We had an agreement!"
“Agreement? You mean order!”
You throw your hands up, wanting to punch Dieter squarely in the jaw. Instead you simply shake your head and shoulder past him to go to your bedroom.  He tries calling your name but you ignore him, slamming the bedroom door behind you.
Mia watches this scene, her large eyes curious. "Dieter what am I missing here?"
"Huh?" Dieter whirls around in a spin. "Nothing."
"Then why did you just scare off my assistant?"
"Because I …He … She’s not..." Dieter waves his hand in the air, trying to explain himself. "I don't want my assistant fucking around with yours."
"Why?"
"It's not professional," Dieter insists, his face gloomy. "What if it got back to set?"
"I don't think they'd care," Mia laughs softly. "Are you just perhaps a bit overprotective of her?"
"Yes."
"Because of the baby?"
"Because- wait, what?"
Mia brings her jacket off her shoulders, hanging it up. "I'm a woman, Dieter. I have sisters. I know a pregnant woman when I see it."
Dieter pauses, considering what to say. He recalls Diane's instructions before you left for Ireland.
"Yeah she's pregnant. She's religious so she's keeping it but she doesn't want anyone to know," Dieter explains.
"Oh," Mia nods.
"I just don't want her hurt." Dieter tries to look sorrowful. "I've known her for a while and yeah, I guess I don't want anyone messing with her. I don't really know Josh or his intentions. I don’t want things to get messy."
"I totally get it," Mia says placing a hand to his forearm. "That's so sweet of you to care about your staff like that."
Dieter shrugs, smiling softly.
"I'll tell Josh to back off," Mia promises.
"Thanks," Dieter says warmly. "I'd appreciate that."
“You still wanna practice those lines for tomorrow?” Mia asks gently, her eyes warm as she glances at the bottle of wine Josh brought. “I see they left some wine.”
“Yeah,” Dieter smiles. “That sounds perfect.”
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Josh isn't returning your calls anymore. When you see him on set he's totally polite but there's no more flirting, no more stolen kisses. You figure after the embarrassment of the other evening he’s steering clear of getting caught up in that mess. You can’t blame him. But you miss the attention, you miss the thrill.
In a few short months you won’t be able to hide that you’re pregnant and then after you give birth you’ll need months for recovery before you’re willing to put yourself back out on the dating scene.
Not that you were that big on the dating scene to begin with. If it wasn’t school it was working for Dieter. You had a few flings, a few whirlwind romances that left your body sated but your mind craving more. You try touching yourself in the bath or in the shower, in your bed. Nothing is working. There’s something primal about another person touching you that your hormones are craving.
You and Dieter haven’t spoken about that night with Josh since it happened. You had no desire to rehash the humiliation and in all honesty, you were wrong to do it here in a home that is more Dieter’s than it is yours. You should have gone to Josh’s if you wanted privacy, but you’d been so horny you hadn’t realized that. 
You’re still dutiful in his scheduling and a week later the two of you are heading into Dublin so Dieter can have an on-air interview with a popular Irish radio personality. He’s nervous about it, tapping his fingers along his bouncing knee in the back of the limo they sent.
“So steer clear of politics obviously,” you say as you tap onto the tablet reading the notes Diane sent. “Diane says that she’ll be out here next week to go over your interview strategies for Graham Norton. Apparently you’re flying over there for an overnight.”
“I assume you’ll be hanging back for that,” Dieter says flatly.
“Yeah, you don’t need both me and Diane for that one.”
Dieter doesn’t know why but the thought of you fucking Josh is stuck in his brain. Someone Dieter has seen you growing closer to during your time here in Ireland when your attention should be on him.  He’s Dieter Bravo – He’s rich, famous, an Oscar winner, the father of the baby you carry! What the fuck makes Josh worth your attention? Dieter sees the secret smiles when Josh texts you, sees you distracted on set. It fucking infuriates him.
 “Gives you a whole two days to fuck your little PA friend while I’m gone.”
Dieter is shooting you an open sneer and you feel your entire body heating up. That’s it. You’ve tried to be civil and even apologetic but this is getting ridiculous. You throw the tablet on the car seat between the two of you, your nostrils flaring.
“You don’t get to tell me who I go to bed with,” you growl, noting the way Dieter’s eyes widen in surprise at your tone. “I'm tired you thinking you control everything about me because I happen to be carrying your kid.”
You glance up belatedly hoping that the driver can’t hear you through the plastic divider separating the front from the back of the vehicle before your eyes are back on the increasingly red-faced Dieter.
“I’m my own person, Dieter. And yes, I will carry this child, and yes I will do so with love and care. But as for whom I fuck? That’s not your business.”
You don’t bother telling him that Josh is off the table. That you heard yesterday that he’s started seeing some girl from costumes. You don’t bother telling Dieter that there’s no one in the quiet hamlet that you actually want to fuck. He doesn’t need to know that.
Dieter continues to stare at you, shocked at the vitriol coming from you. He’s seen you irritated and even angry, but right now you seem borderline frenzied. Your cheeks are red and your eyes are bright and you’re almost snarling.
He’s turned on out of his mind.
He crosses his legs to hide his growing length, clearing his throat and praying you don’t notice the flush rising to his cheeks.
You throw yourself back into your seat, eyes out the window. You’re breathing quickly, still furious about all of this. You wish there was another man on set that you’d like to have take you to bed but there’s no attraction for anyone else. Josh was the only one who appealed to you and without him your only solution is the men down at the pub (all pensioners or gay) or your own fingers which really don’t do the job.
Dieter watches you, struck by his own increasing insecurity. He’d rather you fuck anyone else here. Someone whose texts don’t make you smile down at your phone. Someone who doesn’t distract you during movie nights with Dieter. A nobody.
"I know that what I'm asking might sound unfair," Dieter finally offers quietly. "So I'll pay someone. Someone reputable and clean from one of the services here."
It takes you a moment to realize what he's offering and when you do you turn to face him, outraged. 
"I'm not sleeping with an escort! I’ve never paid for sex I’m not about to start now.” 
"Fine,” Dieter shrugs. “I'll get you whatever toy you want."
"I have toys. Toys aren't doing the job," you admit with a sigh before your face flushes at the admittance. You don't tell him that you've worn out the batteries beyond charging on all. That the toys aren’t what you crave. It’s the touch of a man, his heartbeat under your palm, the sweaty tangled mess under sheets that your body craves.
But Dieter doesn’t understand this; he’s still trying to come up with a solution to your problem that won’t make him feel like shit.
"Then I'll-"
"I need sex, Dieter!" You interrupt in frustration. "All these fucking hormones are making me so... I-I just need a cock to come on!”
The minute the words escape you Dieter’s already dark eyes seem to turn black. He slowly inches over to you in that bouncing, jerky way of his, crawling over the seat until he reaches your. You don't know what he's doing, but you don't stop him when his hand comes to the curve of your belly. 
You hold in a whimper at the sensation of his warm palm through the fabric of your shirt. His hands are wide but you've never noticed just how big they are. His head tilts forth, his forehead gently pressing against yours. Your eyes flutter to focus on his full mouth. 
"You're taking care of my baby," Dieter offers in a husky whisper. "So I'll take care of you."
His free hand slowly moves to wrap around the back of your neck, barely touching you. 
"That's a terrible idea," you breathe, your voice holding no conviction. 
"We did it before," Dieter reasons. 
"We don't even remember it."
"So let's make a memory," Dieter murmurs, his eyes on your mouth now. 
“We’re here Mister Bravo,” comes the voice of the driver from the front of the town car.
Fuck.
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The ride back from the radio interview is tense. Dieter managed to be professional, even charming with the hosts. And while he did that you managed to get a few emails checked, interviews organized and wardrobe fittings scheduled.
But the promise of what he started in the limo only hours before weighs heavily on you both. You feel it’s massively inappropriate given that he’s your boss. He’s paranoid he’s overstepped and scared you off so he doesn’t want to make another move.
So the two of you look out opposite windows, studiously ignoring one another until you return back to the rental. Dieter practically flings himself from the limo, tossing a wave at the driver over his shoulder as you roll your eyes and follow him inside.
The house is quiet, the light of the day dimming. You’re too tired for a walk today so you quickly shower and pull on your softest sleep shorts and t-shirt. You pull on your fuzzy robe and slippers and pad out to the kitchen to make yourself a tea. Dieter is already there boiling the water, his hair damp from his own shower. The two of you exchange tight smiles before you go over to the television, switching it on.
“I think there’s a doc about Patagonia,” Dieter calls over to you. “Wanna watch it together?”
“Sure.”
You hate that the thought of it makes your heart jump. The man that is usually so annoying to you is suddenly so fucking enticing you want to jump him right now. You want to fist your hand through his damp curls and ride him until he’s whimpering.
Fucking hormones.
You wonder if Dieter is good in bed. You've heard plenty of thankful refrains from his closed bedroom door but that might just be to stroke his ego.
You don’t remember your time with him and so the only context you have is when you walked in on him when you thought he was alone and you were desperate to go over some of the errands he had asked of you earlier in the week.What you'd found was Dieter lying in bed, one arm behind his head as a lithe blonde man with a scruffy beard went down on him. Dieters hand was carding through the man's hair, pulling his mouth further along his impressive cock. 
"That's right," Dieter murmured, eyes closed. "Take it all like a good boy. Swallow it down."
You'd quickly closed the door shut, the man's moans echoing behind you thankful you'd not been seen. For some reason that image had stayed with you since then. You don't know if it's because it was two men or because Dieter was so commanding or because it was something you weren't supposed to see. 
But when you think of Dieter and fucking him, it's this memory that floods your senses... And your panties. Like right now as you sit next to him trying to ignore the proximity of his body to yours.
“Want popcorn?”
“Nah, I’m okay.”
“Tea?”
“No I’m fine. Do you want tea?”
“No, I’m good.”
It’s like a middle school dance. The two of you sitting stiffly next to each other, both pretending to ignore the obvious desire there, both too scared of what will happen next. You’re desperate to focus on Patagonia but you can’t. Your boss smells so good and looks so good and he’s rolled up his sleeves so his forearms are bare and his hands are so fucking big. You imagine them everywhere on your body before you force yourself to find a distraction.
“I never asked you about your tattoos,” you say as your eyes runs over the inky triangle closest to you on his forearm. “Why triangles?”
“I guess I really like pizza,” Dieter smirks.
And suddenly all the tension is gone from the moment, replaced with the familiarity of his humor. You let your head tilt back as you let out a guffaw, pushing his arm affectionately. He swings it around your shoulders as he watches your eyes crinkling as you laugh loudly, feeling his chest swell. He loves it when he can make you laugh like that; unguarded.
And in that moment he knows he wants more. He wants to make you feel good. He wants to feel you and be able to remember it the next day.
As you wipe amused tears from your eyes you feel Dieter leaning towards you, his hand on your shoulder, tilting you in his direction ever so slightly.
You don’t pull away.
In fact you let the giggles ebb, but you don’t move from his nearness. Your faces are so close he can feel your warm breath huffing over his parted mouth. You smell like soap from the shower and earl grey tea. He watches your eyes go to his mouth and then slowly move back to meet his gaze.
Why isn’t he kissing me?
You want him to kiss you.
But he’s just sitting there, arms around you; face so close you can see the density of his eyelashes. The two of you sit there breathing slowly into one anothers mouths and it dawns on you that Dieter is waiting for you. Impossibly erratic, impulsive Dieter Bravo is waiting to see if this is truly what you want. 
You need to make the first move.
For some reason that's what prompts your head to tilt towards him, your mouth gently landing against his. Your hands go to his shoulder, holding tightly. 
He kisses you gently at first, head spinning at how good it feels. He doesn't know if it's because this is the longest he's been sober in years or because it's you. Whatever the reason, it makes him wrap his arms around your waist, licking into your mouth as you whimper. 
Fuck he kisses well.
"This is a terrible idea," you tell him even as you begin to pull at the drawstring of his sweatpants. 
"Completely," he says, running his palms along your upper arms. 
"Need you to fuck me hard, Bravo."
"Anything you want."
"This is just a way to g-get some release," you tell him as his mouth goes to your neck and you groan. 
"Mhmmm."
You try to remember what you were going to say but his tongue is slowly dragging along your jaw before he's planting sloppy kisses down your neck.
"J-just this one time," you groan when his hands come to cup your breasts, thumbs rolling over the stiffened peaks of your breasts overtop your nightclothes.
"You sure? What about if you need it again?" Dieter hums, hands sliding up under your sleep shirt to find your breasts warm and heavy in his hands. He makes a soft sound of pleasure as he kneads them.  
"We c-can't," you whimper, eyes closing. His mouth is so soft and warm and it leaves every piece of your body it touches electric.
"Sure we can," he murmurs. "We make the rules."
"The contract," you offer weakly as his fingers gently pinch each nipple tightly until you gasp. Dieter can’t look away from your saddled brows and the way you arch into him.
"Didn't say anything about this," Dieter whispers against your mouth. You kiss him now, urgent and needy and he groans as he licks into your mouth.
"I want you to enjoy this," Dieter purrs. 
"I'll enjoy it," you tell him, hands still fumbling with the drawstring of his sweatpants.
You'll enjoy any sex at this point. You just need a quick, hard, fuck and you'll be back to your normal focused self (well, plus pregnant). You're startled when Dieter takes your wrists, pulling them from his waist. You frown up at him. 
"What're you-"
Dieter gives you a playful smirk and drops to his knees beside the sofa and between your legs. Your eyes blow open in shock as he tugs your sleep shorts down from under your sleep shirt and tosses them over his shoulder. They land somewhere on the floor, forgotten. You don't even have time to be embarrassed at being half naked in front of him, your boss, because he immediately drags one thigh over his broad shoulder.
"Amazing," he murmurs, eyes fixed on your glistening sex.
"You don't have to-"
"Don't have to make you feel good?" Dieter scoffs up at you. "No wonder you weren't in a rush to fuck. All your other boyfriends must have been pitiful in bed."
You're about to answer sharply when Dieters mouth descends. His hands grip the back of your thighs and you feel him lick a stripe up the seam of your drenched cunt. 
"Fuck!"
Dieter grins against your pussy at the sound. He looks up to see your eyes wide and fixed on him kneeling there between your legs. You’re slumped on the sofa, looking at him with flushed cheeks and heavy eyes and Dieter feels himself groan at the sight.
You try to distract yourself from the burning in your thighs and the sudden nakedness you feel when you see the moonlight is shining on Dieter’s mouth between your legs.
“Dieter anyone could see.”
“We’re a million miles away from anyone else,” he tells you, voice muffled. But he stops when he senses that you’re suddenly no longer interested in this, at least not in out here while the TV plays a documentary on Patagonia in the background. He leans forward,pressing glossy kisses up your belly until he’s caged you in with his arms against the sofa. He sees the pupils blown wide in your eyes and he can’t help himself from kissing you senseless. You taste yourself on him and it makes your ardor grow. 
With a patience he didn't even know he truly possessed, Dieter leads you to his bedroom by the hand, weaving through the furniture in the semi darkness. He’s so hard he’s fucking throbbing, the scent of you clinging to his face and driving him wild.
He watches you clamor onto his bed, eyes watching his face in anticipation. Despite the fact that you run most of his life, tonight it’s Dieter that will be taking the lead. To his surprise you submit, watching him with a nervous look as he crawls onto the bed next to you, still wearing his threadbare t-shirt and soft sweatpants.
You wait for him to start roughly, to take what he wants. You think of his hands on the back of that man’s head, the way he’d thrust lazily into his mouth. You wait for Dieter to take take take as he always does in all things.
But he’s not rushing, he’s watching you closely.
Because he's sober during sex for the first time in years and he's so aware of how this potentially changes things between the two of you. His hands are trembling when he reaches for you. For you this is release, Dieter is a human sex toy for you to derive pleasure from. Dieter knows and accepts this. 
But you're not that to him. 
And even though he can't recall that night the two of your shared that created the life you now carry, he knows that he never treated you like it. He’s never thought of you as just sexual release, not then, not now, not ever.
He watches you on the bed, hands reaching for him. “Dieter please.”
He moves towards the mattress, knees hitting the edge before his large hands come to slide your sleep shirt up your belly, notching it just under your breasts when he sees your concern at it rising higher.
"Lean back baby mama," Dieter grins down at you as he kisses his way down your swelled stomach, his mouth soft and wet. "Gonna make you feel so good."
"We don't have to- I just wanna get fucked," you explain, still feeling awkward at the thought of your boss going down on you. 
"Without being warmed up?" Dieter squints at you in confusion before placing a kiss to the soft of your pussy. "That's not how I do things. You need to come before you get this cock."
You hate how those words from him are enough to have you whimpering.
You watch him with eyes heavy lidded as he spreads your thighs widely for him, hooking them over his broad shoulders. Only now that you're opened so fully to him does he look at your sex and give a tortured moan. 
"Such a pretty pussy," he breathes, nose nudging your clit as he begins to give your cunt a sloppy kiss. "So wet already baby. This all for me?"
You don't reply to him and he doesn't wait for your response. But the answer is clear when arousal continues as his tongue begins to delve deeply between your folds. His tongue and mouth immediately begin working at a frantic pace between your legs as he holds you against his face. It isn't long before you're arching into him, holding him by his wild curls.
His wide hands hold your thighs to his shoulders, pinning you open so he can taste you. You hear murmurs of "so fucking sweet" and "so good for me, baby" and each rasping word hits you directly below your navel. 
When his tongue flicks your clit and then he begins sucking it's game over. You feel it building in your core and you let out a gentle whimper. Dieter’s eyes fly open at the sound, gaze fixed on your pleasured face contoured in pleasure at your approaching climax. 
Your hands are twisted in the sheets and he can see how every muscle in your body is tightened. You’re in awe at how wrong your initial assessment of his sexual prowess was. Dieter Bravo is not a selfish lover.
He's fucking insatiable.
"C'mon, baby," Dieters voice is low and syrupy between his licks and kisses. "Let go for me."
You weren't expecting it to feel this good. Weren't expecting Dieters voice to go that low and raspy. Weren't expecting that just his tongue and fingers could hit so deep, so well. 
"I need you to come on my tongue."
There's something in the almost way he says it that has your thighs tightening around his ears, back arching violently off the bed. 
"I'm... I'm-c-coming!"
You dissolve underneath his tongue, pelvis thrusting harshly against his greedy mouth. You cry out his name over and over, eyes damp with relieved tears at the tension that is slowly leaving your body. 
When you come, Dieter looks up the length of your body, taking in your glassy eyes and flushed cheeks as you float down from your high. You give a soft sigh that ends in a groan. You want more. 
"I knew it," he groans, eyes shuttering as he watches you shatter. "I fucking knew it."
You lay quaking in the aftershocks as Dieter crawls up the length of your body, dragging a loving palm over your belly as he does. You're not even sure he realizes he's doing it. 
"What did you know?" You pant, hands clutching the sheets as you come down from your pleasured high. His face is inches from yours, dark eyes glittering.
"The face you make when you come," Dieter rasps, eyes mapping your flushed face. "I knew it was gonna ruin me."
His mouth crashes into yours before you can reply and despite your insistence to yourself that this remain platonic, your arms are already snaking around his neck. You're dropping your jaw open so he can lick into your mouth and you hear your own desperate moans echoing against his in the quiet room.
"Fuck me," you croak against his mouth. "Hard."
He pulls back eagerly, stumbling to a stand beside the bed and nearly tripping in his rush to take off his pants and shirt. Finally he stands curls askew from taking off his t-shirt in a rush. 
He places his knee on the bed and you can't help but be impressed with the size of him. No wonder he has so many repeat bedroom visitors. Between that and his tongue is a marvel he has time to leave his bed at all. 
"You ready?"
"Yes," you pant, hating how desperate you sound as your hands reach for him, eagerly shifting your hips and smiling at him. He lays himself next to you on his side.
“Oh shit, a condom-“ Dieter starts with a frown. “I think I have some-“
"You're clean?"
"Yeah,” Dieter says with quirked brows. “Haven't fucked anyone since you."
You're shocked by this announcement.  “Mia?”
Dieter shakes his head, cheeks pinking. You sense the moment slipping from you and you shake off the voice that tells you the lines are blurring.  Right now all you want is to feel Dieter inside of you.
“Fuck me bare,” you tell him, mouth on his.
“Really?”
“S’not like I can get more pregnant.”
Dieter chuckles gently, his hand coming to cup your cheek as his tongue slips into your mouth. You taste him, every crevice as he does the same to you, needing to feel every piece of you that you keep hidden. As he does he trails a finger lazily against your inner thigh, knuckles brushing against the warmth of your core. 
"You still want this?" he murmurs pulling back to see your eyes.
"Yeah," you nod eagerly, already missing the sensation of his lips on yours. You curl into him. He still stares at you, only now he looks nervous. 
"You want me?"
There's something in the way Dieter's voice catches at that last word. Almost as if it's fighting to get out of his throat. Your eyes latch to his and you see the vulnerability there, the way he looks so unsure even as you hold to him.  
"Yeah, Dieter," you finally say quietly. "I want you." 
The relief is so clear as his mouth finds yours again. He kisses you deeply, tongues dabbing at one another as he urges you onto your back. 
"Fuck, I can't believe we're finally doing this," he rasps against your jaw, pressing damp kisses there. "Gonna make you feel so good."
His fingers trail at the seam of your cunt, teasing but you bat them away. He gives you a confused look. 
"I need your cock," you tell him breathlessly, hitching your thighs around his hips and urging his cock to your entrance. 
This isn't what he normally does. He likes his female partners to be multiple orgasms deep before he fucks them. He's large and he doesn't want to hurt you.
"Please," you whisper and now you're cunt is shifting towards the head of his cock, urging him inside. 
He gives a small groan and before he can second guess you request he's slowly sliding into you to the hilt. The feeling of Dieter entering you is exquisite, the stretch not too bad because he's already made you come.
Your entire body arches under him at the divine sensation, the way he fills you so achingly full. You hiss in pleasure, gripping his shoulders so tightly you leave half moon crests temporarily tattooed on them. 
Dieter stares at you as he enters you, his mouth hanging open as the delicious sensation of your cunt envelops him. Warm and slick and so fucking good. You wrap around him like you were made for him, like you were both built to fit perfectly together. It makes him give out a strangled gurgle when he sheaths himself to the hilt. 
"Holy fuck." 
"So good," you moan without thought. You're normally not a vocal lover, but no one has made you feel this good just at entering you. 
"Yeah?" Dieter asks you with a proud grin as his hips begin to rock into you. "You like feeling me deep, huh?"
"Yes," you nod, biting your lower lip. "Want you even deeper."
Your thighs drop open further and now you're hands slither down his side until you’re gripping his ass, urging him to fuck harder and deeper. 
"So eager," Dieter rasps not even bothering to hide his delight. You're eager for him. He nuzzles your cheek, grazing a kiss there. "You’re trembling, baby. You needed this didn't you? Needed my cock so badly."
"Uh huh."
Fuck you're so pliant, so goddam agreeable right now under him that it makes Dieter heady. You're never so soft with him in real life. You'd never admit to needing him outside this moment. Dieter realizes right then and there that being inside you bare is better than any drug, any drink.
"You like fucking an Oscar winner, sweet thing?"
You momentarily break from your pleasured haze to give him a look that clearly reads your disdain for this particular dirty talk. In all the bliss you've been experiencing with him, you'd momentarily forgotten who Dieter Bravo is. 
Dieter is an ego maniac, a man who loves to talk about himself, an actor who gets told how amazing he is by everyone, so you really shouldn't be that surprised that he'd bring up his accolades during sex. However that's about the least sexy thing about him right now
"Does that usually work?"
"Huh?" Dieter's eyes are glassy as his cock saws in and out of you. "Does what work?"
"Reminding your bed partners that you're an Oscar winner?" 
He looks at the derision in your gaze and swallows embarrassed. "Sometimes."
You see the sheepish look cross his features. 
"Why say it?"
"I guess…to impress them." Dieter gives a crooked grin. "To seduce them... Or whatever .."
"You don't need to impress me or seduce me," you tell him firmly, your hips jutting as you increase his pace. "This is a transaction, Dieter. All I need from you is your cock and for you to fuck me deep."
Dieter grins weakly again and watches as your eyes shut, hands moving to either side of your head against the pillow and he begins thrusting anew. Dieter loves that he doesn't have to wear a condom with you. He's rarely gone bareback - always paranoid about accidental pregnancy or a lying partner. The sweet clench on his bare cock has his brain fuzzy.
Dieter can't fight the need to inhale you at that moment. Your soap, your perfume, your skin. Everything tantalizes him, making his mouth water. His nose buries itself in the hair at your temple and he breathes deeply. Coconut. Vanilla. And something something uniquely you that he can't quite place. 
Having you like this is a dream, one he didn't realize he's been harboring for much longer than when you first slept together. 
"Need to hear those noises again," Dieter groans against your temple. "Need to feel your cunt squeeze me when you come."
His mouth is filthy and you're shocked at how much it turns you on to hear it. His voice is so low, so gravely is almost a purr. 
"You gonna soak my cock, baby?"
"Yes," you mewl, eyes tightly shut as your bodies rock against one another. 
"Yeah you are," he says with affection. 
He wants so desperately to push your t-shirt up and see the rest of you naked and bouncing. But he'll take what you offer without complaint. His hips shift forward again and again, your thighs spread wide for him so he can access you as deeply as possible. 
"Harder," you beg brokenly. "Please… fuck me harder."
He acquiesces immediately with a grunt, hands coming to pin your wrists to the mattress above your head as he fucks into you, hips moving brutally against yours. He can see the swell of your breasts bouncing under the soft cotton of your t-shirt, watches the way your eyes roll back and hears the strange throaty babbling that emerges from you.
"So fu ... So dee.. Fuck... Good.... Don't st... Gonna... Gonna..."
Each word is punched out with every thrust from Dieter. He feels sweat beginning to bead at his temples but nothing distracts him from his pursuits. 
You're close, he knows by the way your own hips begin to circle his and then finally they still as you begin pulsing around his length. 
At the first sound of your cry and the feeling of your cunt milking him, Dieter feels his own release erupt from him.
“You’re so good, so fucking good,” he groans before he grunts out your name as he gives one final thrust and then stills. He groans as he spends himself deep within you before he collapses on top of you, head against your shoulder. 
"Fuck." Dieter says slowly. "That was....that was good right?"
"More than good," you say honestly before brushing back your sweaty hair from your forehead. "Thank you."
You go to sit up and leave but Dieter is already pulling you towards him, wedging a leg between yours and nestling his face in the crook of your neck.
“Just stay a moment.”
You want to extricate yourself, to remind him that this was all just for release. But he’s so warm and he smells so good and you feel so good and the room is so warm . . .
You wake up a few hours later to Dieter’s hand gently rubbing your stomach over your sleep shirt. You give a soft yawn and he looks your face on the pillow next to his. He wonders if all men feel like this when they’ve gotten a woman pregnant. This fierce protectiveness, this open desire that makes him want to hold you and never let go.
You look beautiful right now, sleepy and sensual as you give a soft stretch. He feels your torso shift and thinks about the miracle under his fingertips. Creating life.
"He's gonna be a Saggitarius."
"Huh?"
"My son," Dieter tells you. "Doctor says he'll be born December twelfth, remember? That makes him a Saggitarius."
"So?"
"So that's good because I'm a Libra. So we're a good personality match. He's gonna be independent though. Wonder if he'll go into the family business," Dieter muses looking at your belly. "What are you?"
"A woman who doesn't think that star placements affect my future," you say with your eyes closed, mouth curled into a bemused smirk.
"He'll be here just in time for Christmas," Dieter says dreamily. "Can you imagine how cute he'll be in front of the Christmas tree?"
"Not really," you say briskly. "I'll be recovering from pushing a watermelon-sized being out of my body. I'm thinking a beach somewhere with lots of alcohol."
"You're not going to be here?" Dieter says, feeling a strange panic bubbling inside him. "Not even for the first few days?"
"You paid me to be your surrogate, Dieter," you tell him flatly. "Not your nanny." 
"I just figured you'd stick around for a bit," Dieter mutters.
“I'm gonna go to an all inclusive somewhere. Just relax for two weeks in the sunshine, get hammered, ho-."
You stop. You'd been about to say "hook up" but something makes you pause. When you'd first thought about life post birth you'd kinda just assumed that it would be running away to an island to celebrate the whole thing being behind you. But now, thoughts of some warm vacation away from Dieter and your baby seems... Hollow. 
Not your baby. Stop thinking like that. 
You glance over to see Dieter, his face impassive. You think that maybe, just maybe you could stay a few days. Just to get the baby settled. That would be kind of you. Yes, that works. 
"I guess I could stay the first week it comes home- er to your home," you tell him. 
Dieter nearly jumps off the bed in excitement. "Really?"
You shrug. "Won't be able to move much anyway." 
Dieter can't help himself, his hands go to your neck, holding you before his lips come crashing into yours. You hate how you don't even pause before returning the kiss with cheeks flushed as he takes them in his hands, his eyes soft on yours. 
When he kisses you again it feels slower, deeper. And when you urge him on top of you again, your thighs parting automatically, he slides into you like he just kissed you. Slow and deep until the two of you are shuddering against one another, your dual moans a symphony in the quiet house.
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Cravings
bananas
pizza
pretzels
independence from boss who will not stop sending insane baby related texts at all hours of the day
Missing
personal space
sushi
not barfing 
Baby is size of turnip.
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Dieter’s mood continues to vacillate in the coming weeks. Some days he’s bouncing up and down, cooing at your belly behind closed doors and talking about the future. Other days he’s withdrawn, spending hours in his art room or running through his lines alone in his bedroom.
You wonder if it’s the withdrawal from drugs. You haven’t seen your employer indulging in anything more than red wine at dinner and you wonder if it’s taking its toll on him. You decide he needs a distraction, something fun. You also sort of want to pay him back for… well… helping you out.
You take a look at his schedule and after a few phone calls you go to his art room on morning he has off, giving a soft knock. His voice is muffled but irritable through the closed door. He’s blasting music that he turns down.
“What?”
“I have a surprise for you,” you tell him grinning through the door. Almost immediately you hear the padding of socked feet and he pulls the door open, a cigarette hanging loosely from his mouth, his eyes wide like a child’s.
“A surprise?”
 “Yep,” you nod with a smile. “A special treat.”
He wastes no time in running a comb through his hair (at your insistence), popping a piece of gum in his mouth and pulling on his oversized jacket before following you out of the house and into the waiting town car.
“What’s the treat?” he asks the second the vehicle begins to move.
“Be patient,” you say with a teasing grin. “It’s about a two hour drive to Dublin.”
“Two hours?” Dieter throws himself back in his seat as if this is the cruellest form of punishment. “Do I get a hint?”
You mull this over as the green outside the window sails by. “Mmm… Green.”
“Green?”
“Yep.”
“The fuck?”
“That’s all you get.”
“What kind of clue is ‘green’ when we’re in fucking Ireland?”
“Guess you’ll have to wait and see,” you tell him. “Now I have some work I have to do, why don’t you go on your phone or take a nap or something.”
“You sure you’ve never had kids?” Dieter muses sarcastically. “Sure sound like one.”
You give him a warning look before going back to responding to emails about a photo shoot happening next month. You pull into Dublin a few hours later, glancing sideways when Dieter shifts and begins speaking.
"I miss going to the movies as a regular person," Dieter tells you, eyes hidden behind sunglasses as you drive by the theatre. "Used to be the only place that made me happy."
Dieter tells you a lot, but his childhood is a topic he usually stays away from. You lower your phone, giving him your full attention. "Really?"
"Yeah," he nods. "When I was a kid we didn't have a ton of money. But my mom always saved up enough for me to go to see a movie." 
He misses his Mom a lot. It’s clear in the wistful way he talks about her. It reminds you that the two of you share a connection, one you both wish you didn’t. Parents gone too soon, taken, ripped from your families but never your hearts.
You don’t have to lower his sunglasses to know his eyes are misty as he thinks of her. You reach across the seat and wrap your fingers around his wide hand. You want this day to be a good one for him, you want him to be happy. 
“What’s your favorite drink in the whole world?”
Dieter comes back to himself, glancing at you over his sunglasses. “Easy, whiskey.”
“Exactly,” you say smiling. “And what kind?”
“Jameson.”
You nod, watching the green building slowly coming into view. You motion to it out the window with a soft "voila" grinning as Dieters eyes grow wide.
"Jameson distillery...Private tour for one Dieter Bravo," you tell him proudly. "Turns out the owner is a big Cliff Beasts fan." 
Dieter is leaning over your lap to see more of the building, his warm chest on your thighs.
"Are you serious?"
He's looking at the logo glowing on the sign, eyes taking in the double doors before smiling in shock at you. 
"Yep. Now be on your best behavior," you tell him bringing out the phone. "I'll be back in three hours-"
"Fuck that," Dieter scoffs. "You're coming with me. This'll be way more fun with someone else."
"Dieter, I can't even drink."
"I'll drink enough for the two of u-"
"Incorrect," you cut him off officiously. "You promised Diane you weren’t getting wasted anymore. So today you can to enjoy the tour and the whiskey tasting, maybe buy a hat, but that's it."
"But-"
"Don't make me regret doing something nice, Bravo," you warn him and a warm smile crosses his face as he nods.
"Yes ma'am."
"Alright, let's go in." You shuffle on your seat to the door. “Now we only have three hours inside so make sure you don’t wander off, got it?”
“Got it.” Dieter is squirming excitedly so much he reminds you of a puppy, all big eyes and wagging tail. You roll your eyes in amusement before you duck out of the car with him, telling the driver to please return in three hours.
“Sunglasses,” you murmur, handing them to him. He slips them on, tugging up the hood of his jacket. Without warning he takes your hand in his, clasping tightly. “Don’t wanna get separated,” he explains. You don’t fight him on it, instead you grip him back and nod.
Dieter doesn't let go of your hand until you're both inside staring up at the chandelier made of whisky bottles. The place is busy, but its midday and most are so distracted by their own adventure that they don't even notice Dieter as you two walk in. 
"Holy shit," Dieter says and even though you can't see his eyes you know they're wide with excitement. 
The wraparound bar has descriptive titles like floral, vanilla, smooth above empty shot glasses begging to be filled. Dieter reads the board talking about the various things to see. 
"I wanna do the cask drawing," he says, rocking back in his shoes excitedly. "And the blending class."
"We can do it all," you promise him, absently tapping his elbow to keep him moving. "C'mon, we're looking for a Peter Connor." 
You sail past a group just starting their tour, your feet slapping the slate floor. Dieter is awestruck, looking at everything like a wondrous child until you come upon what looks to be the owner, a grey haired man with big ears. 
"Peter Connor?" You ask, pulling out the email correspondence between the two of you. "I'm the one who-"
"Mister Bravo?" Peter says with his Irish lilt the second he sees him, his eyes wide. "I was just sayin' to me wife that it was a feckin' miracle you bein' in Dublin since we just finished yer latest Cliff Beast film. Is there any hope of an autograph for the wife an' me?"
Dieter is all charm and smiles, shaking the man's hand and chatting back and forth before signing autographs and you taking a few photos of them. 
"I didn't know you were married," Peter says, shaking you hand warmly before you realize what he's said. 
"Oh no," you say quickly. "Just his PA."
"My mistake," Peter says ducking his head. "Well if you'll be followin' me I've got a special tour planned. Your assistant here told me how much ye love Jameson, Mister Bravo."
"I do," Dieter says grinning. It's the only whisky I drink." 
"Aye, as it should be."
The private tour goes off without a hitch and you find yourself fascinated by the varied history of Jameson whiskey. 
When it comes to the tasting Peter your tour guide goes to pass you your flight but you stop him. 
"None for me, thanks."
"Ye can't be comin' through Jameson and not tryin' a drop," he cajoles. Normally you'd come up with a lie or laugh along with him. But you're tired from the drive and walking while pregnant so you just shrug.
"Unless medical advice has changed in the last fifty years I don't think introducing my unborn child to whiskey in the womb is exactly wise."
Peter is immediately all smiles, looking at your stomach.
"Are ye' in the family way then?" He smiles. "What a blessin'. Is this yer first?"
And last. 
"Yeah," you nod, not wanting more attention than necessary. Dieter is watching all of this at your elbow, eyes on your face. 
"I wish ye and yer little one nothin' but blue skies and long healthy days and that you'll both be rich in blessins." 
"Thank you."
Dieter sees it before you do, Peter's hand reaching forward to gently pat your stomach. He remembers the horror you feel at strangers grabbing your body and he quickly wraps his arm around your waist, guiding you towards the next flight of whiskey being brought out. 
When a young couple comes up and quietly requests a photo Dieter accepts and it’s you who offers to take it, asking them to be subtle and not post it until Dieter has left. They agree, their hands hovering around Dieter’s broad shoulders. You hand them back their phone and move on, rolling your eyes at their backs.
Refreshing.
That's the word that comes to mind with Dieter about you. You're refreshing. Like an iced cold glass of water on a hot day. A welcome reprieve from the relentless heat. He's never had a someone close to him who didn't want their five minutes of fame. But you? You hate being seen, hate the idea of someone taking your photo.  You want to exist, but you don't want celebrity, that's never been what you crave. And Dieter thinks that might be one of the nicest things about you.
You do the cask drawing, the whisky tasting, the black barrel blending class and by the end of the experience Dieter is visibly relaxed, wearing his newly acquired green Jameson t-shirt, beanie, hipflask and a bag full of no less than a metric fuck-ton of booze. 
"Did you really need sixteen bottles D?"
"This is 12 distillery Reserve," Dieter says aghast at your question. "You can only get it in Dublin. So its one for each month plus a few extra for gifts."
You shake your head in faux exasperation as you both get into the car that's arrived for you along the curb. And just in time, you hear a few voices starting to murmur Dieters name as you close the door behind you both.
Settled inside Dieter produces a key chain in the shape of a whisky bottle, it glints in the low dimming lights of the city.
"For you," he says handing you the key chain as you laugh. "Since you didn't get to drink anything." 
"Thanks," you say with a short laugh, taking the key chain from him. You look it over, gently rubbing at the raised enamel. The car begins to drive and you feel your eyelids start to lower.
"Thanks for the treat," comes Dieters whisky-tinged breath huffing at your temple. “Even if you didn’t get to drink.”
You try to hold in the shiver that accompanies his husky order in your ear. Fucking hormones. You swallow, eyes blinking open but you don't dare look over at the chuckling Dieter leaning back into his seat. 
“Can we make one stop?” Dieter calls to the driver before the partition closes.
“Where?”
“I ordered something a few weeks back that I wanted to pick up.”
The car takes you to a small row of pale colored storefronts. Dieter mutters that he’ll be right back. You watch him exit and he takes off down one of the narrow alleys, his shoulders hunched. 
Your stomach drops because this is all too familiar. This is a fix.
He’s going to buy drugs.
When he returns minutes later with no parcel and his hands shoved into his pockets you know that you’re right. The disappointment that floods you almost takes your breath away. Dieter clamors into the vehicle and the driver informs you that you’ll make good time heading back to the rental.
You are positively fuming and despite his several attempts at getting you to talk, you force your ear buds into your ears and ignore Dieter for the entire drive home.
You throw the door open when you finally arrive back, waiting for town car to leave the drive before you turn on Dieter, your voice low and growled as he makes his way to the kitchen.
“You are unbelievable.”
He slowly lowers his bags and bags of booze before taking in how furious you look. 
“Huh? Why?”
“After all that trouble I went to because I wanted to give you a nice afternoon, you go and stop to get drugs?” You head shakes almost violently, moving to the kitchen to give space between the two of you because right now you want to throttle him.  “So what is it this week? Cocaine? Heroin? I thought you wanted to be a responsible p-“
“Woah woah,” Dieter says raising his hands in supplication. “Chill out. I didn’t buy any fucking drugs and just so you know, I haven’t even done heroin in years. Believe it or not, some things in rehab stuck.”
“Oh no?” You scoff, throwing your purse to the floor. “Empty your pockets then.”
Dieter stands stiffly staring at you, a frown crossing his features.
“No.”
“Dieter.”
“I don’t want to.”
The two of you stare at one another a moment in a silent standoff. It’s you who fires the first shot as you reach into your coat pocket for your cellphone.
“I’m calling Diane,” you say briskly, “you can lie to me all you want, but-“
“I’m not lying to you,” Dieter insists and irritation is crowding his features now. The back of his neck is growing warm, a classic sign of frustration in him. He wishes you’d stop being so cold to him, so accusatory.
“I don’t believe you.”
“Why?”
“Because I know you.”
“Well you don’t know me that well!” Dieter all but shouts. He reaches into his pocket now and pulls out a small box, slamming it onto the kitchen counter between you both. You stare at it confused before looking back up at him.
“What is this?”
“A present for you,” he bites off, his cheeks pink with irritation. “One I was hoping to save until the end of filming.”
The shame that takes you over is almost debilitating in its acuity. You feel your entire body grow warm with humiliation at your accusation. All your desire for a pleasant day for Dieter has been ruined by you of all people.
“Oh.”
“Well you might as well open it now,” Dieter shrugs. “Cats out of the bag.”
You grimace as you open the box, feeling shame growing in your cheeks as you view what’s inside.
It’s a ring.
Your eyes widen as you look inside the box, your fingers pulling the ring out to inspect it. It's the same one you saw weeks ago, the hands holding the heart. Only this beautifully carved one has hands holding a sparking green emerald heart instead. You swallow your suddenly very dry mouth, glancing up at him.
"You bought me a ring?"
Dieter shrugs as if this is something he does every day.
“Why?”
"Heard you talking about it with Fia at the shop so I got one sent from Galway." He sees the look on your face and his brows furrow. "What? You don't like it?"
"I do," you promise him, putting the ring on your right hand, the heart facing out. You both smile when you hold it up to the light. "I love it actually. But I don't want you feeling like you have to get my gifts, Dieter. You're already paying me a lot."
Dieters smile flickers briefly. 
"Yeah well this was... This wasn't a baby thing. It was a... I dunno, friend thing. A PA thing. You do a lot for me and just a thank you."
You stare at Dieter in shock, unable to formulate a reply a moment.  You look at the ring and the hurt look on Dieter’s face and you feel shame suffuse you. He’d gone and done a sweet thing and you’d thought the worst of him.
“I’m sorry, Dieter.”
He nods and then walks past you, his face solemn as he walks into his bedroom and quietly closes the door shut.
///
19 weeks personal diary entry [D.Bravo]
Baby Name Ideas
Alex
Victor
Francisca
Penelope
Javiera
Should I include Mom’s name as middle name?  She wouldn’t want that anyway.
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The thing about working on a smaller film set is that it can feel like a family. You're already friends with many of the other PA's, the wardrobe department, hair and makeup, the catering and much more. 
Most are older than you by a bit, not uncommon in this part of Ireland and its union. They are all perfectly kind to you, the food is always great and because of that you find yourself going to set more than you have in past productions.
Back in America you used to sit in Dieters trailer on set days with your laptop and phone busily organizing his days. But here his days aren't spent partying and because of the baby on the way you find him hanging around his rental most evenings. It makes your job easier and you find yourself with more free time.
You're also fascinated by how Dieter transforms himself into someone entirely different for this role. It's amazing how he goes from slob in his hole-filled robe and Crocs to a dashing leading man with his hair slicked back and his beard trimmed. 
You're also amazed by Mia. You've been on plenty of sets and seen Dieter act opposite many beautiful leading ladies. But Mia is a supreme talent, the kind of woman who people whisper about and stare at. During their scenes together your eyes volley between the two of them completely enraptured in their acting and their undeniable chemistry. 
You watch one day as a scene is filmed. Your perched on the chair marked Dieter Bravo, legs crossed and eyes stuck on him on set. It's a night scene and they are both in a library un-chaperoned. 
"Why are you here?" Mia asks silhouetted against the window. 
"You know why," he says with a throaty rasp coming up behind a quivering Mia. 
He completely changes himself for each character down to the way he holds his shoulders back, making him look even broader. 
It's hard not to find him attractive like that. Especially now that you know... What you know. The feel of his tongue between your thighs, the rasp of his beard against your cheek. The way his voice goes honeyed when he urges you to come.
You gonna soak my cock, baby?
You watch as Dieter cages Mia in against the wall. "You know what you do to me," he murmurs. 
Mia stares up at him, her wide eyes unblinking. You swear you could see adoration in her gaze. It makes you hold your breath. 
"Cut."
You watch the two of them break into easy smiles before Dieters large hand sails to the small of Mia's back. He leans over and whispers something into her ear and she tilts towards him, grabbing his bicep as she trills a laugh. 
She likes him. You'd long suspected given her gazes that first night at the award show. But the worst part is that Dieter is feeding her obvious crush. His dark eyes crinkle at the sides when she says something only he can hear. 
You find yourself cringing at their exchange, your eyes dropping to your phone. Diane has sent you a few emails about a kids awards show that they want to honor Dieter at. Plus a few branding commercials you have to run by him. 
You head back to his trailer, needing to focus on your work. It’s a few hours later when you hear the crunch of his boots on the gravel and then the shift of the trailer as he enters, seeing the lights are on and inhaling that familiar aroma of coconuts and vanilla.  You give a short hello, not even looking up from your laptop.
"It's lunch," he informs you, watching you hurriedly type at the table.
"Uh huh."
"Have you eaten?"
"I will later." 
You don't even notice that he's left until twenty minutes later when a container of salad, bread and lasagna is pushed in front of you. You glance up with a quirked brow to see Dieter staring down at you. 
"Eat." 
Normally this would annoy you. You hate being told what to do and you hate being babied. 
But there's something about the sight of him in that costume, the stern look on his face and the rasped command that has your pupils blowing wide. Your hormones begin thrumming and you feel arousal pooling in your lower belly. You barely feel in control of yourself as you close the lid of your laptop.  
“I-I’m going on a walk,” you tell him before sliding out of the seat.
“But lunch –“
“I’ll eat when I get back. I promise.”
You hear a knock on his trailer door.
"Mister Bravo? Your needed on set."
"Coming Simon," Dieter calls out. Then he looks back at you with a serious look on his handsome face.
“Cmon,” Dieter pleads, his large eyes round. “Eat quick and then come to set? I want your advice on some lines.”
“Sure.”
He smiles and heads out of the trailer. The second the door is closed you’ve taken off to the daybed at the back of his trailer. You hate yourself for what you’re about to do, but it doesn’t stop you from shucking down your jeans and thrusting your hands under your panties.
The daybed smells like the cologne he wears, the organic soap he uses. Your close your eyes and inhale deeply before you bring yourself off in record time at the thought of Dieter in that regency outfit, of his dark eyes burning coals into yours as he takes you murmuring filth in that deep rasp of his.
When you come down you give a breathless laugh at how fast that happened before cleaning yourself up in the bathroom. You return to have a few bites of your lasagna before grabbing a banana from this morning's forgotten breakfast and heading to set.
You take your spot on Dieters chair as you arrive, your cheeks heating when he comes over to you. He looks nervous as he holds out the script to you. 
"Run these with me?"
"Of course."
Dieter nods and you watch him transform into character. He runs a hand through his hair, making it more dishevelled. His face is a glower, his dark eyes narrowed.  
“I need you,” Dieter growls. “So much I can barely breathe. You see what you do to me?”
Fuck.
You’re turned on and Dieter can see it plain as day. He sensed it back in the trailer, but now it’s so fucking obvious he could laugh, your pupils blown wide in your eyes as you watch him finish the scene.
“U-uh that was good,” you stammer, flustered. He wants to kiss you so badly right now, the smirk threatening to turn into a full-blown smile as he watches his normally composed assistant turn pink in the face, stuttering.
“No feedback?”
"Hmmm, maybe try loosening this," you tell him, hooking a finger into his cravat and tugging gently, feeling breathless as you do. "Like you're so overwhelmed by her nearness that you can't breathe."
"Oh shit, that's good," Dieter says with a broad smile. 'I'm gonna use that. Thanks."
"No problem," you answer honestly, eyes moving from his neck to his face. "I actually enjoy this part of the job."
"Yeah?" Dieter’s voice drops a bit as his head tilts to yours. "S'that all you enjoy about working for me?" 
Memories of your times together flood your senses and your traitorous gaze immediately falls to his full mouth. You realize your finger is still hooked in his collar. You remove it slowly, letting it drag along his neck. 
"Be honest," he purrs quietly against your temple. “I saw how you were looking at me earlier. This costume do it for you, baby mama? Should I bring it back with me later?”
Yes, fuck yes please.
You feel his mouth at your cheek as his hand rises to hover over your belly.
You go white in the face, pressing him back from you and glancing around, thankful no one is watching. 
"What the fuck are you doing?" You hiss quietly. "Are you insane?"
Dieter seems to come back to himself and stands abruptly. His eyes are wide, realizing what he almost did. 
"Fuck, I didn't-"
"Talent to set."
Dieter goes to say something else but instead just shakes his head and strides from you. 
You can't even look at him right now you're so angry. He's going to blow this entire fucking thing with his recklessness. You want to leave but they're about to start rolling and you’re a professional.  
"Alright," the director says as the makeup woman brushes Dieters face to take away any shine. "From the top of the page."
"You want me throwing with right or left?"
"Can you do left?"
"Yep."
"Excellent. For the chair, both like in rehearsal." The director slides back into his chair watching the monitor. "Camera? Rolling... Action."
You watch as Dieter grabs a glass of prop wine, throwing it back and tossing the glass into the fireplace furiously.
"She won't even look at me," he growls to himself, shrugging the coat angrily from his shoulders to reveal a starched lawn shirt underneath. "Acts as if she doesn't want me."
He tugs at the cravat around his neck before pouring another glass. He drinks this one quickly murmuring about how the woman he loves has become a stranger to him. 
"He's magnificent," a voice whispers beside you. Its Mia dressed in a robe, holding a cup of tea. She's staring at Dieter with stars in her eyes. 
The director calls for a cut to reset, something about the lighting. Mia smiles over at you, taking the seat with her name on it as Dieter stands with the director talking quietly. You notice his eyes swinging in your direction and so you focus on Mia next to you. 
"I've watched him since I was a teenager," she admits with a soft blush. "He was my first celeb crush."
"Really?"
Mia giggles and nods before taking a sip of her tea. Her large eyes trail over to Dieter once more.
"Is he single?"
You blink. "I think so, yeah."
"Do you think I'm his type?"
You want to laugh. "You're young, beautiful, talented and you're a fan of his. Trust me, you're his type." 
"But?"
"Honestly?" You grimace at the concern in her features. "Dieter is a lot of fun. Not really serious, not really...."
You trail off thoughtfully a moment.
"Your star is on the rise, Mia. And from what I've seen of this industry that can be easily tarnished by being seen with the wrong person."
"You make it seem like he's a murderer."
"No, murder is too much work for Dieter," you say with false musing. "I'm sure he'd just get me to do it for him." 
Mia hides another giggle behind her hand. You grin at her before growing somber. 
"Honestly Mia, Dieter is a great person. He's got a great heart. I just don't think his reputation would be great for you. He's got a laundry list of drug use, saying pretty outrageous stuff on the red carpet," you swallow. "I would just hate for your reputation to suffer because you wanted to date your celebrity crush." 
Mia nods thoughtfully, draining the rest of her tea. You feel bad, but at the same time you know what you're talking about. You've seen the hypocrisy of Hollywood taking down women for entering into high profile relationships with notorious bad boys. Mia is too talented to have that happen to her. 
While she doesn’t say anything further, you don’t miss the way she continues to stare at Dieter.
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Ireland is gorgeous. You've rented a car so the time not spent working on Dieter work is spent exploring the Emerald Isle. You love the verdant surroundings, the amazing locals, the landscapes that take your breath away.
You meet so many kind people, many of them tourists. When they hear your accent they want to take you for a pint and a chat but you always decline. You don't want to have to explain why you don't drink.
Most evenings are spent going over lines with Dieter for the next day’s shooting. Otherwise it's scheduling his meetings, checking in with Diane about his sponsorship posts. And while you grow happier by the day out here, Dieter is quite the opposite.
After the first week you noticed him looking a little down in the mouth. You told yourself it was just a bad mood. But now almost two months in he's become unbearable. Snapping at you, spending a lot of time in his art room. He doesn't want to run lines with you anymore, he hires an acting coach that arrives looking frazzled and they seclude themselves in the office for hours.
At first you assumed they were fucking, but the few times you've passed by to get to your bedroom you can hear them running lines. Dieter always sounds so frustrated, near his breaking point.
You wonder why he stopped running them with you. Was it the sex? It was just a one-time thing.
Dieter continues growing worse, now more snappy and irritable than usual. His morning mediation has ceased entirely. He smokes cigarettes in the garden outside, even in the drizzly afternoon weather.
It all comes to a head when you're woken from a dead sleep to the sound of the front door being slapped and your name being called.
"I wanna fuck again," Dieter tells you, his mouth tainted with whisky when you open the door. He pulls up your shirt, kissing your belly sloppily. "Take off your shirt this time, I wanna see your tits."
You're in no mood. You shove him off of you angrily because you know this horny, loud, rapidly moving Dieter. He's very familiar.
"You're on something."
Dieter shrugs, his eyes on your expanded chest. He wants to see your tits so fucking badly he can't stand it. His hands go to cup them, his mouth parted. “Did a bump with some of the crew. No biggie.”
“Dieter!”
“What?” he challenges. “Just being the guy you always think I am. Some addict loser.”
You feel your face fall at this admission. You think back to how you accused him of buying drugs that day. The hurt look that had crossed his features.
"You can't do this Dieter," you tell him as you jerk back away from his outstretched fingers. "You promised."
"Don't nag me," he scowls when he can see you're keeping your clothes on.
"I'm telling you the facts," you reply. "You promised Diane! And even if you didn't, you told me you wanted this kid."
"I do!"
"Then what the fuck are you doing? You want this kid to end up with some junkie for a father?" You're practically hissing. "Late to set, doing hard drugs, what is going on?"
Dieter tries to turn from you but you grip his shoulder, spinning him.
"Tell me!"
"They don't like me here," Dieter barks out at you, causing you to recoil from him. "They don't think I'm good enough to be in this movie. I can see it in their eyes!"
Animosity drops from your shoulders like an unwelcome jacket. Immediately you soften.
"Dieter," your tone is gentle. "Why would they have hired you if you weren't talented enough?"
"I do action movies, not this Jane Austen shit," Dieter moans, throwing himself into the couch. "I'm no good."
Suddenly the agitation, the long hours spent with his acting coach all makes sense to you.
"I've seen your stuff Dieter," you tell him. "It's great when you really put your heart and soul into it."
His large eyes are so hopeful staring up at you.
"I mean it," you say, your hand reaching out instinctively towards him. He takes it, pressing his cheek into your touch and letting his eyes fall shut.
His stubbled cheek nuzzles against your palm, like an eager cat desperate to lay claim. Suddenly it's too familiar, too domestic and you whip your hand back from him. His dark eyes dart open with a snap. 
"You're just saying that," Dieter says, feeling rejected as you pull back from him. "Just saying it to make your job easier."
He pushes himself from the couch, ignoring your calls for him to stop and come back, to talk this out.  He slams the door to his bedroom and you can only assume he's locking himself up to do more of whatever he bought.
Fuck what am I gonna do?!
You can't call Diane, it's far too late back in the US and even if you did what can she do?
You scroll through the list of names in your phone. You don't want to get Dieter in trouble with the director or the-
Your thumb hovers over the name MIA ROWE/JOSH in your contact list. You type hurriedly.
[6:55pm] Is there any chance Mia could come by to talk Dieter off a ledge? He's panicking about the movie and I'm outta options.
[6:55 pm] JOSH:One sec. I'll ask.
 [6:58 pm] JOSH:Yep. Now good?
When Mia arrives shortly after looking glamorous even in her jeans and sweater, you thank her profusely.
"I don't know how much you know about Dieter and his drug use-" you start, stopping when she raises a wavering hand.
"I know enough," she promises you. "My dad was an addict."
Oh. You worry now that this is far too much for her.
"He's been acting weird the last few days," she confides hanging up her jacket. "I suspected. Honestly I'm relieved that you called."
Relief floods you. "He's in his bedroom, do you want me to-"
"No no, you relax," she says giving you a wink. "I've got it from here."
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Dieter is lying on his side when the knock comes to his door. His coke is gone and so is the elated feeling that goes along with it. Now he feels snippy and angry. Your disappointed face flashes in his mind and he winces.
"Go away."
"Dieter?"
That's not your voice. He twists to look over his shoulder at Mia slowly cracking the door open.
"Can I come in?"
What the hell.
"Yeah. Sure."
He forces himself to a sitting position, his head hung to the side as she sits next to him on his bed.
"Your PA told me you're upset about filming and-"
"That I'm the worst fucking actor on set? Yeah."
Dieter throws himself dramatically back onto the bed.
"You're not."
Mia smiles gently at him, her blonde locks falling into her eyes. She takes his hand gently in hers, rubbing his tattoo softly. He softens, raising himself to a sitting position again.
"I'm just as nervous as you are," she confides, her hand over his. "Every day I go to set I'm terrified they'll tell me I'm bad or that they're going to replace me."
"You?" Dieter says in shock. "Yeah right."
"I'm serious," Mia insists. "You're so good, Dieter!  Better than I thought you were."
It's been so long since he heard these words from a colleague. It makes him feel good, makes him feel in control. She's smiling at him and she's so pretty.
"I was so excited to work with you on this," she confides. "And I promise you've exceeded everyone's expectations. Everyone talks about how good you are in this."
"Really?"
"Really."
Dieter is like any actor, he's all ego and hearing her say these sweet, wonderful things is warming him.
Her hand goes to his curls, gently carding her fingers through his hair. Her intention is very clear, she didn't just come here to comfort him. She wants him.  It feels like so long since he's been wanted like this.
He's been good. No parties and until tonight no drugs. No women or men. He's been like a fucking saint. You yourself don't count. You pretty much told him that when he fucked you. So what's the harm in a little playing behind closed doors?
His mouth crashes into Mia's, hands around her back in an instant. She welcomes the kiss with a whimper, her hands circling his waist as he deepens the kiss.
This feels really good. Mia is beautiful and so gentle. She accepts his touches, enjoys how he wraps himself around her. She doesn't pull away like you do.
He pulls her onto his lap, letting her grind against his already aching erection as they continue to kiss. She's got her hands in his hair, gripping and tugging as they kiss. It drives him fucking wild.
His hands go to the button of her jeans but before they can do more, Mia gives a soft laugh, pecking him on the cheek and standing.
"Got carried away."
"I liked it."
"I'll like it more when I know it's not the coke," she tells him honestly.
"It's not."
"Guess we'll find out," she says smiling as she heads for his bedroom door. "I'll see you on set tomorrow then."
"Yeah," Dieter smiles dreamily. "You will."
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You don't know what Mia said to Dieter but he's a changed man. For the rest of the month he is on time, professional and sober. Most nights he's over at Mia's rental having dinner (and you assume fucking). He's been very covert, never spending the night, never touching her on set in a way that's not professional.
Last week he began wearing cologne and you notice his customary Crocs are traded in for dress shoes.
"Mia's taking me to this Thai place," Dieter tells you with a smile one evening as you finish up your debrief about the intimacy coordinator scenes next week. "Then we're running lines at her place."
"But that's-" our thing your mind finishes for you. You hold in the frown and just nod, telling him to have a good night as he waves goodbye.
And that's when it starts. This feeling of being left behind.
It's what you wanted.
Yes, you wanted Dieter to stop treating you like a delicate thing. Wanted him to stop smothering you with attention. You wanted him out of your hair so you could stop having to sneak around with Josh.
Except now you sort of miss Dieter.
You miss his annoying way of chewing gum, making it crack against his molars. You miss how he leans over the back of the couch when he walks by and catches you watching something that interests him. You miss how he asks how you're feeling and the delicate way he cups you tummy when you let him.
You even miss the cigarette smell that occasionally clings to his favorite cardigans (although that changes when it begins to make you sick).
You think about inviting Josh over here tonight. So far it's been frantic kissing against pub walls and one remarkably disappointing phone sex experience that left you more frustrated than anything.
You're just so paranoid he's going to be able to tell you're pregnant that you've been holding back.
You walk to the bathroom, having to pee again. For the first time in a while you take a look at yourself. Your clothes are so very baggy and you go to great lengths not to look at your naked body. So when you pull up the t-shirt and stand to the side you're shocked at the difference.
You look pregnant.
Your stomach is pronounced. You can definitely see it swell and the sight takes your breath away. You touch your belly, rolling your hands over it and giggling nervously as you stare at your reflection.
Holy shit. There's a baby in there.
For a while it just looked like you were permanently bloated. But now at five months you can definitely tell this is not a food baby.
You look at yourself a moment longer before pulling out your phone. You rest a hand over your belly, and take a photo of you in the mirror's reflection. You smile serenely, shocked at how natural you look in this pose.
You consider keeping it for yourself but this is a nice memory to share on the app. Dieter loves shit like this and he's been making your life easier as of late. Besides you won't keep this memory. It will be scrubbed from your mind the second the kid is born. No mementos needed. But Dieter deserves them.
You walk back to the main room, hands absently rolling over your stomach. You're asleep on the couch when Dieter arrives shortly thereafter. You feel his hands on your arm, gently nudging you awake. You blink, rubbing the sleep from your eyes to see him standing above you next to the couch. You glance at the clock on the wall.
"Why are you home so early?"
"I saw the app alert," Dieter says breathlessly as if he’s run the entire way home. "I can't believe - can I see? Touch it? Please?"
He came all this way, leaving Mia's early just to see your belly?
You nod with a yawn, lifting the shirt up over your belly. As Dieter takes in the swell of your stomach his eyes blow wide. He drops to his knees beside you on the couch, large hands roving over your expanded flesh.
"Fuck, he's really in there."
"Ultrasound wasn't proof enough?" You tease stretching.
"Photo is one thing but actually seeing this? Feeling it?" He marvels, shaking his head. "Just makes it so real. My baby is in there."
You nod, swallowing. "How was your night?"
"Good," Dieter answers before looking dreamy. "Mia's amazing."
"Mmm."
You watch as he presses an ear to your belly, his eyes closed as he listens. He's listening to the sound of your pregnant belly. Before you can stop him he's turned his head and pressed a soft, tender kiss to the side of your abdomen.
"I love you," he murmurs to your belly, eyes closed. "I love you my little baby. And when I finally meet you I'm gonna spoil you and take you and over the world."
Your heart goes to your throat as you blink back tears.
"You're never gonna go without," he promises quietly. "We're gonna be so happy."
For the first time since this all began you start to imagine Dieter holding his child. A tiny thing with curly hair that gurgles up at him. A mixture of you and the sweet man cradling your belly like its spun glass.
"Are you okay?" Dieter asks, large eyes concerned.
"Yeah, why?"
"You just look upset.”
“Just tired you lie, rubbing at your blotchy face. “Anyway. How was dinner? Must be good since you’ve been hanging with Mia a lot lately.”
“Yeah,” Dieter breathes with a wide grin. “She’s really great.”
“Mmm,” you nod, your attention on the muted television.
"She likes kids," Dieter adds. 
"Oh good," you nod, shuffling your foot anxiously against the coffee table. "That's great, Dieter."
"What do you think of the name Karl-Jose if it's a boy or Mila-Ana if it's a girl?" Dieter asks, his eyes trained on your stomach. "You know, to honor my German and Latin roots." 
"You can name it Lemon-Pillow Bravo for all I care," you answer honestly. You continue looking at the muted TV not really taking in anything, but desperate not to fall into the endless warmth of his eyes.  
As far as you're concerned this kid growing inside you is a job. You're not getting attached. 
"What’s your background?" Dieter asks curiously, his hand still resting on your belly. "That can factor into-"
"Why would it?" You ask frowning. "I'm not any part of this child's life remember?"
Dieter’s face which had been full of such joy moments earlier quickly sobers. 
"Right."
The hand slips from your belly and you watch as he stands, moving to his art room, leaving you in silence as you bite back tears.
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"It's TikTok live," you explain for the twentieth time in the last hour as Dieter’ hair stylist heads out the door.  "Its promotion for the comedy you filmed last year, remember? Ninja cowboy?"
Dieter winces as he recalls that drunken nightmare. A job for a friend that went way over budget and way over filming schedule. He knows it's going to be shit which is why he's using Dieter to gain favorable press before the release. 
You glance over to see you employer looking pensively at his breakfast. He's dressed with the clothes his stylist sent over and thanks to his grooming team her in Ireland he looks good in his charcoal sweater and curls brushed back and defined with gel. 
"I hate this stuff," Dieter announces as he takes a bite of toast. "Can't you just do it for me?"
He's tired bags under his eyes that the makeup artist who just left tried to cover to the best of her abilities. 
Dieter was at Mia's late last night going over lines and making out heavily. He's trying to take things slow with her but it’s hard. She's so eager to be with him, never shying from his touches. It feels so good to be wanted. 
"That's not how it...works," you say wincing and putting a hand over your sternum. 
Dieter notices immediately, almost choking on his dry toast in his effort to get to you. His hands fly to your clavicle. 
"You okay?"
"Calm down," you say pushing him gently back away from you. "It's just heartburn."
"I was just trying to help," Dieter mumbles, throwing himself back into his chair. 
It's so frustrating with you sometimes; you blow so hot and cold. It makes him feel unsure and anxious (when he's not turned on out of his mind.) Mia is so much easier and she's so warm all the time. She can also be a bit naive because at her age she doesn't have much life experience. 
Mia loves to hear all about Dieter though, loves to talk about the movies of his she loved watching growing up. Mia hangs on his every word and Dieter can't deny that he loves it. It feels good to be adored.
So then why does he still crave your attention? Why does he flush when your eyes linger on his face? Is it really just that you're carrying his baby or is it something more? 
Even now he feels his heart pick up as you come up sit next to him at the table. 
"If you really wanted to help, you'd focus and get ready because you're going live on the MGM account in like three minutes," you say with frustration, your mouth in a curl of frustration. The baby has been keeping you up lately and its making you feel irritable. 
That and you desperately want Dieter to take you to bed again.
But that can’t happen. The lines are getting too blurred for him, you can see that. Plus you’re pretty sure he’s with Mia and she’s been really good for him over here. You don’t want to screw that up. 
"People will ask you questions here," you say pointing to the phone screen you've set up on the tripod in front of him. "Make sure at least every fourth question ties in to the movie. Release date, co-stars, that kind of stuff. Just don’t Rampart it."
You notice Dieter nodding at you in the phones display along with the large smear of grape jelly at the corner of his mouth. 
"Come there," you say with a roll of your eyes as you turn to him. 
In habit you grab his face, thumb coming to rest on his lower lip to swipe the jelly there as you smile at him in mock exasperation.
Dieter leans forward; eyes never breaking from yours before his mouth comes crashing into yours. His hands are on either side of your neck, pulling you to him.
"You're so fucking beautiful," he rasps against your mouth before pressing his lips to yours more fully once more. This is when you would have pushed from him. But instead your lips parted so he could lick into your mouth, making you whimper. 
At the sound Dieter groans and you realize your hand is carding through his curls, messing them up. 
The beep of your phone alarm goes off startling you both into breaking apart. Dieter pulls back, his dark eyes scanning your wide-eyed gaze. 
"Dieter what-"
Fuck. He read that wrong. He fucking overstepped. Fuck. 
"I'm sorry," Dieter says quickly. "I just thought-"
"-I was getting the jelly off your mouth before the live."
He snatches his hands back as if he's been burnt. 
"That's good. That's great," Dieter stammers before wiping at his mouth with the back of his sleeve. "Better?"
"Yeah, totally," you stammer as you look back at the phone. "Okay, it's starting in two minutes. I'm gonna sit off to the side here in case you get desperate. But for the most part pretend that I'm not here okay?"
Dieter hates doing press, especially when he's somewhere without the guidance of an interviewer. He's so easily distracted, so prone to saying the wrong thing. His PR guy spent the last hour going over his talking points and what to avoid but this just makes Dieter more stressed, convicted he's going to fuck up.
Dieter nods, sitting facing the phone before swallowing and wincing. "Fuck why is my throat so dry?" 
"I'll get you some tea," you offer before you go to the kitchen and start the kettle. You try not to think about how your lips are tingling from the kiss.
Things are getting complicated. This was just supposed to be a release based thing. Nothing about that kiss felt impersonal; in fact it felt decidedly intimate.  Your second alarm goes off, it’s about to go live. You cross the kitchen to stand beside him. 
"Ready?"
"As I'll ever be."
You step out of frame before pressing the red button on the phone and motioning to Dieter. 
"Okay, go." 
You walk back to pour the water over the teabag and you can hear Dieter behind you greeting everyone and thanking them for attending. 
You come back to the table with the teacup to see Dieter shooting the phone and then you a stricken look. 
"Jesus," Dieter mutters as streams of text scroll by. "What the... what the fuck do I -"
You roll your eyes off-screen, trying to speak softly to him. You mouth the words exasperatedly. 
"Don’t swear! Just take a deep breath, look at the questions and answer them."
Dieter feels panic overtaking him. There's so many questions, so many names. He feels his heart starting to hammer anxiously. 
"You've got this," you whisper. 
Dieter looks at you and he feels his heartbeat returning to normal. There's something grounding in your expression, the same thing he sees you every time you hold his gaze. That steady, calming presence that tells him he'll be okay. You're the only person who gets to him like that. 
"Okay," he says after a beat and you watch as he transforms into the confident, brash Dieter you've always known. 
"Let's do this shit." He gives a broad, crooked grin to the phone and picks one of the questions at random. "Okay Pdcv2344 asks 'did I enjoy my nude scene in the Colossal Indemnify flick I made."
Dieter lifts a brow and shoots the camera a sardonic look. 
"It was a nude scene with Gal Gadot pretending to ride me. What do you think?"
You roll your eyes and hold in a laugh from where you sit opposite him at the table. He goes on like this several more questions before he clears his throat. You remember the tea steeping at your elbow and fish the bag from the mug. 
You hand him the mug, only your hand showing briefly in the screen. Dieter shoots you a grateful look as he takes it from you. 
"Thanks baby," Dieter murmurs with a smile at you before his attention is drawn back to the scrolling messages. "No, I didn't wear a eyeliner in Cliff Beasts 2."
You feel your face twist into a grimace at the term of endearment used so publicly. You can only hope no one observes or brings it up. Dieter doesn't seem to notice the misstep. He's sipping his tea and answering questions. He seems to be enjoying himself until somewhere in the fifteen minute mark. 
"What the fuck?"
You look up from your phone to see Dieter squinting into the phone. He's confused because digital sunglasses keep whipping over his eyes. 
You raise your brows at him. 
"These sunglasses keep going on my face when I'm trying to talk," Dieter says pointing at the camera. "Is that me? Am I doing that?" 
"Those are gifts," you tell him with a smirk. "They're sending you gifts." 
"Huh? How are fake sunglasses a gift?"
You hold in a giggle at this. Sometimes he really does amuse you. 
"I thought you used TikTok all the time?"
"Not the lives. Are they using their own money for these gifts? Like real money?"
"Yeah."
"Fuck no!"  Dieter frowns at the camera. "Don't send me gifts you guys. I have money. Don't waste yours.”
Dieter frowns when glasses and now a cowboy hat keep appearing digitally. 
"Fuck, now there's a cowboy hat!" 
"Okay well you can turn the gift option off," you tell him trying not to laugh at how stressed he seems. "Just press-"
"Can't you just do it?" Dieter asks, his baleful eyes pleading at you off-screen. "Please? You're so much faster."
You cringe at the thought of being seen but you nod, swinging around into the chair beside him. Dieter glances at you in the reflection of the camera and smiles. 
"Hey everyone, this is my assistant," Dieter tells the crowd introducing and pointing at you as you give an awkward wave. "Best one around. I can't do anything without her."
"It's true," you chirp with a laugh. "I'll be one sec folks; just here for some technical difficulties then you can get back to asking Dieter questions." 
You take a moment to press the buttons disabling the gifts option. Dieter watches you, amused at the flush on your cheeks. You hate being in front of the camera. 
"There you go, no more cowboy hats or sunglasses," you murmur with a soft smile at him that he returns. His eyes drop to your mouth a moment before he nods. 
"Thanks," Dieter murmurs with a smile, watching you slide back to the opposite side of the table, sure not to let anyone see your belly. 
Dieter drags his eyes away from you to look back at the questions. 
"Hey, Granguy66 wants to know if you're single," Dieter says with a waggle of his brows in your direction. "What should I say?" 
You swallow, feeling suddenly strange. You know it's a joke, a laugh. But you feel odd replying in earnest. You decide on your response and deliver it with a grin. 
"Say that Ninja Cowboy is coming to theatres this Friday so they better buy their tickets now." 
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[2:44 pm] JOSH: Thought you'd want to see this. Mia said to send it to you.
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It's a photo of the cast of the film smooshed in the back of a carriage. Everyone is laughing. Dieter's hair is brushed and he's got a grinning Mia Rowe tightly against him, leaning over his lap to make sure the photographer can see her.
Dieter looks happy and relaxed and the sight of it makes you smile at the photograph. But at the same time it makes your stomach twist uncomfortably.
[2:45 pm] Thanks for sending this. Glad to see he's doing well.
[3:11 pm] Mia says that she and D are going to dinner tonight. He wanted me to tell you he forgot his phone and can you charge it?
[3:14pm] Of course he did. Yeah, I’ll charge it and have it ready for him before dinner. Can you tell him?
[3:14 pm] He’s asking if the rental needs more Bubble bath?? Wtf?
You smirk to yourself. Your check in code.
[3:14pm] Dieter just really loves baths. Tell him we’re all good here. All stocked up. 
You glance down at your silenced phone and frown when you realize you've missed a call from your mother back home and guilt goes through you. You've been going all over Ireland, having amazing sex with Dieter and being distracted. You just send her texts and photos and the occasional email. 
Your mother picks up on the second ring. 
"Hi honey."
"Hey mom," you bite the inside of your cheek. "Sorry I haven't called lately."
"Oh that's no problem," your mom assures you. "I know you're busy. I just wanted to know if you're doing okay today."
Something in her tone stops your feet. The way she says ‘today.’
"Why wouldn't I be?"
There's a heavy pause then your mother's soft voice. "It's your father's birthday."
A feeling like a punch to the gut makes you wince. You erased it from your calendar, not wanting the reminder. But of course she hasn’t forgotten, wants you to remember them.  You worked so hard not to think about these milestones with your dad gone but your mom seems to fixate on them. 
"Right."
"Are you lighting a candle?"
"I will tonight." 
"Good."
Your mother is big on lighting candles for those you've lost. She started with your grandparents and now your dad. It makes you sick looking at those flickering flames. Tears are starting at the corner of your eyes and a few PA's walk by giving you a friendly wave that you mirror weakly. 
"Mom I have to go. I'm needed on set."
You hang up before she can say more but instead of the set you head for the shuttle. You don't want to be here anymore. You don’t want to think.
You want to forget. You want to pretend that you're fine. You want a distraction. 
You push into the rental a short while later, your back and feet aching, your eyes swollen from suppressing tears into the cuff of your jacket. You need to just relax and forget about the world a moment, feel comforted.
You run yourself a bath, the scent of coconut bubbles filling the room. You strip down and slip into the bath, relishing in the warm water that surrounds you. You inhale deeply, cherishing the comfort of the coconut scent and gently lapping water. You turn the faucet off when it reaches just below your collarbone.
Your mind is busy though, despite the serene surroundings. You grab your phone next to the tub on the counter and settle back into the bubbles. You should be productive since you’re still technically on the clock.
For some reason the photo of Dieter and Mia is playing in your mind over and over. You click on instagram, searching up Mia's name and finding it there with its blue checkmark. She posts the normal things young women her age do; her doing yoga, shots of her at sunset, coffee drinking with friends, her dressed up for the Oscars. You're about to close out of the account before you see that she's posted something to her story. You click on it, feeling your breath leave you.
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Her blonde head is on his shoulder and he's making one of his classic weird smirks at the camera she's holding up in front of them. She's written "This guy just makes me laugh all day" and tagged his account that he hasn't updated in months.
They look so... close.
You don't want to look at it anymore. You close out of the app and open up Reddit instead. You scroll into the Dieter Bravo subreddit. A habit you haven't indulged in for weeks due to distraction. The top post however has your eyes flying open.
Dieter Bravo secret affair?  5K upvotes, 4.8 replies.
Fuck have they learned about Mia’s crush on Dieter? Or is this all speculation like it was when Dieter was photographed with Bad Bunny? You click on the link, reading the paragraph starting the discussion and feel your heart clench.
Dieter Bravo is totally in love with his assistant. Look at these screenshots from his live. 
One is you in the frame, focused on getting Dieter to understand the mechanics of the live gift feature before you're turning it off and one is when you just finished explaining gifts to him. He's got his 
You can't help but feel your cheeks heating at the sight. While you were busy trying to help Dieter with his phone it seems he was busy staring at you. 
And then there's the screenshot of your hand in frame handing Dieter his teacup. And the subtitle underneath: thanks baby. 
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You sort the comments by top, eyes scanning the thousands of comments in the discussion.   
Holy shit the way he looks at her. 
I heard he's dating some guy in Germany
How old is she?
My friend signed an NDA but she told me that Dieter totally fucked her in his hotel room after doing coke off her tits. 
You can't tell me he's not smitten
He’s not the type to settle down so I hope she doesn’t fall too hard
He looks so hawt there
It's giving soulmates
She's cute! I hope they're happy together.
She's his employee!!!!! Stop being gross and assuming based on nothing!!!
Get urself a guy who looks at you like that
He called her baby. BABY. I'm fucking feral. 
I love him your honor.
They're clearly fucking
She dresses like shit
This is how my husband looked at me during our first date. Fifty two years and three kids later he still looks at me that way. 
For some reason this is the comment that stills your fingers. 
You re-read it and your pathetic hormone-filled mind creates a tapestry of a future you’ll never have. One of you and Dieter older, watching your child playing in the pool. Dieter is looking at you with adoration as you press a kiss to his waiting mouth.  
Stop it stop it stop it.
You need to forget this. You turn on your music, finding a blasting piece by NIN and let it overwhelm  your brain. Your head tilts back against the tub, your eyes falling shut. In this moment you feel your mind fixed on the music, you feel your muscles releasing. You just want to stay in this moment forever…
“Hey you in there?”
Your eyes jolt open to see that the sky outside the small window is dark and the water you sit in is tepid. How long were you out for? You glance at the door with blurry eyes, hearing the gentle knock turning urgent and Dieter fumbling with the knob.
“Hey are you okay?”
“Yeah,” you call out, scrambling out of the tub and tugging on a robe. “Sorry, yeah I fell asleep.”
You twist the knob open and look at him towering over you in the doorframe, his dark eyes heavy with worry.
“What’s going on? You okay?”
“Just tired,” you say about to say more when your eyes fly open in realization.
“Shit! I forgot to plug your phone in!” you say, moving past him to plug it in now in the kitchen where he left it. He inhales the scent of coconut from your skin as you sail by and feels his stomach twist pleasurably.
He watches you fumbling to plug the charger in and it flashes green, showing its charging. It’ll be a bit before it’s finished though. Fuck, you only have the one job here in Ireland; be Dieter’s assistant. You fought so hard to keep your job and you’re completely fucking it up these days.
“Fuck, I’m sorry.”
“Hey hey,” Dieter grabs your elbow, noting the sheen to your eyes. “What’s going on?”
“Just a shitty day,” you say sighing heavily. “I’m really sorry about the phone.”
“Fuck the phone,” Dieter says with a shrug. His dark eyes are scanning your face. He can see that you’re upset. “I wanna know what has you so upset.”
He sounds so earnest, like he actually cares. Sometimes it’s hard to forget that he’s a really good actor.
“Nothing,” you insist with a false smile. “I got some of your dress shirts sent back from the cleaners. They’re hung in your closet in case you want to change. And uh-“
Your words falter as you look up into Dieter’s face to see him staring at you with an unfocussed look in his eyes. He’s staring at your chest and you glance down to see the deep vee of the robe has exposed much of your cleavage.
The realization should embarrass you, but if anything it makes your breathing come out shallow. The familiar thrumming is back between your legs, making you press your thighs together tightly. Dieter observes this, eyes moving shrewdly from your hips back to your face.
"You need some help," Dieter says huskily and it isn't a question. His hands are already at your waist, thumbs hovering over the sash of your plush robe.
"No...I...."
"I told you if you need release you come to me," Dieter murmurs. "Anytime you need it."
"But your dinner with Mia," you tell him worriedly.
"You come first," he says without thinking. His hands have already begun untying your robe. His eyes dart to your face. "If you want it."
"Yeah," you nod, feeling overcome. "Yeah, I want it."
The second the words leave your mouth he's tugging your robe open
You easily succumb to Dieter's mouth and hands and it's not long before he has you beneath him in his large bed, both of you naked and writhing in the expensive sheets. He's already made you come with his mouth and now his cock hits deliciously deep. 
"I can't.... You're so fucking wet," he breathes into your mouth, eyes fixed on yours as you gaze up at him. "So fucking tight." 
"Dieter," you groan, allowing him to suck your tongue into his mouth. He kisses as deeply as he fucks before pulling back and brushing the hair from your face looking at your kiss-swollen lips and heavy lidded eyes. 
"You're so gorgeous when you let go," he murmurs gently, his hips moving lazily over yours. 
You don't want to look in his eyes for too long. It makes it too intimate so you touch your forehead to his. The two of you watch where he enters you, soaked in your arousal. Your belly protrudes deliciously and Dieter realizes that this may be the last time he can fuck you in this position.
"We look so good," Dieter groans, brows saddling. You can't reply, your eyes are cheating to the back of your head now because the pleasure is building. 
He fucks you hard into the mattress moaning into the crook of your neck all manner of vulgarities. You cling to him; arms wrapped so tightly around his neck you worry you're suffocating him. But he's not complaining, he's kissing your neck, hips rolling against yours. 
The only sound in the room is your combined panting and the sound of his flesh hitting yours as he withdraws and sheaths himself completely over and over and when he comes he does so holding your body tightly to his. 
"You didn't come," he pants with a frown. He can tell. He didn't feel that sweet fluttering and clench around his cock. He wants it. 
"I didn't care about that," you tell him, kissing him gently. "I just wanted... I just wanted to feel you."
You can't explain it better than that but Dieter doesn't press you. He looks at you with a serious look before nodding and withdrawing from you. You go to leave the bed and go to your room but Dieter holds you to him. 
"Stay here a little longer,” he huffs gently against your earlobe.
In this bed you won't be alone. You won't have to distract yourself in your room. You won’t have to think about the bad things.  
"Okay."
You’ve forgotten about his date with Mia. Forgotten about everything awful with your Dad. All you feel and think right now is about Dieter and how good he smells and feels wrapped around you.
Dieter feels how you relax into his arms, something you’ve never really done. Just laying with you here in his bed, in sheets that will now smell of you has his heart aching instead of his cock. He could do this for hours, just holding you.
“Would it really be insane?” Dieter asks before he can stop himself, his voice huffing along the back of your neck. “I mean, you’re carrying my kid. Would us being together-“
Panic overtakes you. What the fuck is he suggesting? This is exactly why you didn’t want this to happen. Dieter is such a romantic at heart, so easily swayed if he’s fucked someone. He doesn’t know what he’s saying. And you refuse to be another phase for Dieter, even if he doesn’t know that’s what he is going through.
“Dieter I’m your employee,” you snap, interrupting him. “And after this baby is out of me I won’t even be in the same city as you.”
Dieter feels his body go tense. “Since when?”
“Since I agreed to do this for three hundred thousand dollars,” you inform him. You can practically hear the wheels turning in Dieter’s head as you say this.
“What does that matter?”
“I’m going to pay off my mom’s mortgage and I’m going back to school in Sacramento.”
“Wait, what the fuck? Sacramento? Since when?”
Suddenly the bed feels oppressive and Dieter’s arms feel constricting. You pull away from him, going to grab your robe. He watches your body move from the bed, a vessel of fertility and beauty and mystifying frustration.
“Wait, can’t we talk about this?”
“No,” you say sharply, tying the sash around your waist. “Dieter we talked about this being a release-based system. Not a romantic relationship.”
Dieter feels as if he’s been slapped.
“What about Mia? She’s waiting for you at some restaurant right now.” You glance at the clock before crossing your arms over your chest. “If you leave here now you can still make dessert.”
“You want me to go?”
“You should.”
A coldness enters Dieter’s eyes at that bitten off reply and he nods before pulling himself from the warmth of the bed. You watch him move through the room in his boxers, closing the door behind him with a firm finality. 
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[Personal Diary D. Bravo – 21 weeks]
Places I want to take Baby Bravo
Chile (show him where I grew up)
Disneyland (when he’s old enough)
London: maybe he’ll get an accent
Fiji – mini island (no paps)
Places I want to take her
Chile
Hawaii –
Buenos Aires (teach her tango)
Italy (she loves pizza)
Anywhere she wants
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Today Dieter is filming in Powerscourt.
You are pacing outside the set; far away enough that you won't disturb filming as you finish up a phone call with Diane back home, setting up a sponsorship meeting that Dieter is in the running for. You hang up the phone just as you wander around the back garden of the palatial estate they’ve rented for this scene.
You’re about to turn back and head inside, your feet are getting swollen these days. But movement catches your eyes and you pause.
Two figures are tucked away behind the building; Mia leaning back against the wall, eyes tilted up coquettishly as she takes a puff of the cigarette. Dieter has one palm flat against the wall above her shoulder, angling himself towards her. 
You can't hear what they're saying to one another but you watch them both laugh passing the cigarette between themselves. It reminds you of the teens in high school who would sneak off at lunch, sharing smokes in secrecy. 
It feels intimate, like something you shouldn't see. You watch him smile at her, his dark eyes soft as he moves his lips to hers and you hold your breath as she meets him halfway, mouth pressing against his. 
You know what that mouth feels like. Soft and strong. Tasting of whiskey or cigarettes or that mint gum he's always chewing. You feel a longing sigh escape you. 
You feel something in your gut twisting and you realize it must be the baby. You turn away before you have to watch anymore of this, your face in a grim line. You take a seat back inside on the set, wincing as the staff go to retrieve Dieter and Mia from outside.
The two of them come back onto the set with secret smiles on their faces.
“Hey,” Dieter says coming to squeeze your shoulder gently. “Did you get a hold of Diane?”
“Yep,” you force a smile on your face. “She wants us all to face time later tonight.”
“I might have plans,” Dieter murmurs, his eyes sailing to Mia getting her lipstick touched up. She feels his gaze on her and casts a small smile in his direction.
You feel a sickening sensation in your gut and you clear your throat, trying to come off as casual. You twist the ring on your finger, the one he gave you, and try not to look upset.
“We’ll work around your schedule.”
The scene begins as Mia wanders into the library to see Dieter in a drunken rage before he grabs a chair and throws it brutally through a mirror. You watched that scene being filmed a few weeks ago, but this is the second part.
You watch the power in his shoulders and muscles twisting under his lawn shirt as he throws the chair off-screen. He spins back around; dark eyes fixed on a cowering Mia dressed in a flimsy nightdress who backs enticingly against a bookcase. 
“And now,” Dieter drawls, his voice husky. “I get what’s mine.”
He goes to Mia, gripping her by the back of the neck and kissing her fiercely. Mia feigns horror, trying to back away from him, but all too soon her arms are coming to wrap around his neck as he grips her thigh, urging it around his waist.
You can’t watch this.
You slide off the chair and head to the shuttle, needing to go back to the rental.
When the director calls cut shortly after and Dieter’s eyes rise to where you were sitting, he's deflated to see the chair empty. 
154 notes · View notes
pumpkinbxtch · 2 months
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beautiful eyes * ˚ ✦
— leo valdez x daughter of hecate! myopic! reader
Summary: You and Leo are new being a couple and he feels the urge to be closer to you so he uses your glasses as excuse.
Warnings: swear words? they just kiss, man
A/N: English is not my first language, so sorry if it's bad.
☆゚⁠.⁠*⁠・⁠。゚
— Oh, those beautiful eyes of yours, let me see them up close again.
And there he went again Leo "I don't give a shit about your personal space" Valdez. It would only have been a few weeks since you and him had become a couple, however that didn't seem to stop Leo from taking advantage of the new closeness between you.
What you didn't know was, that for Leo was the only way to keep in physical contact with you without seeming like an idiot or getting nervous, so he opted for the best thing he knew how to do: bother and make jokes to go unnoticed about his true feelings and intentions.
You sat on the picnic blanket while you tried to appreciate the dance of the sunset reflection on the lake of Long Island Sound. That summer day seemed perfect and cozy, the purple and pink skies would have calmed you to the point of sleeping on your boyfriend's shoulder if it weren't for his super hyper mega hyperactive nature. Leo just wasn't a person who could stay calm for long and you knew it.
While you were still looking at the large body of water, he played with your hands and your rings and it wasn't until you felt his lips brushing your knuckles that you looked up at him. Leo simply smiled with his ears slightly pink. Or maybe it was the reflection of the sunlight?
—Can I? — He asked, tilting his head like when a dog hears a distant sound. You just rolled your eyes and then Leo took the glasses off.
You didn't know where the passion for doing that came from. At first you had the assumption that Leo probably found your face more aesthetically pleasing without a pair of glass on it, however he denied such idea before giving you a half-hour sermon about how glasses didn't make you less pretty. So, you headed for the second most likely thing: Your irises.
These were like his, brown, but being a daughter of Hecate, they sometimes gave off purple or iridescent colors. Clearly this aroused the attention of many and sometimes the reflection of the lenses did not allow them to fully appreciate it, but what could you do? You couldn't help be myopic
Leo smiled and a few seconds later he formed a completely serious face, that made you raise your eyebrow.
— Something wrong? —You asked.
For a few seconds he remained completely silent and static until words came out of his mouth again.
— Are you a descendant of Medusa? because you left me petrified with that look of yours — The boy kept his serious appearance until he burst out laughing, probably because of the look of repulsion that came out of your face.
— You're an idiot — You hit him on the shoulder and snatched your glasses from him.
He groaned, stretching out his hands trying to reach them, failing miserably.
—Well, before you put them on.— Leo grabbed you by the chin and joined his lips with yours closing a kiss. His free hand ran over your back to press you towards him, deepening the act, a step beyond the small kisses you had shared. For you, of course it was like taking you on a roller coaster from Tartarus to Olympus but for Leo the feeling was something beyond than that, slowly the son of Hephaestus felt his brain melt and turn into car oil.
He had finally managed to have you closer and it was better than he could have imagined. Before pulling away he gave you a small kiss and pressed his forehead against yours taking a breath. When he moved away enough for you to see his entire face you noticed the blush.
Leo looked away, embarrassed at letting himself get carried away, he nervously placed a hand on the back of his neck and cleared his throat.
— Uh, the thing is that I sometimes hit myself with your glasses.
Both looked at each other, You two knew it wasn't that. Or well, yes. From time to time, when you were kissing, the frame of your glasses decided on the same two options: 1- poke Leo's eye or 2- get stuck in Leo's curls and end up tangled.
However, even you agreed that it wasn't that reason, you decide to not say the embarrassing truth out loud and just laughed.
131 notes · View notes
Being Team Japan’s Manager
Manager is Stressed
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Team Japan x GN! Manager (platonic relationship)
Warnings: Manager is feeling stress (I didn’t go into specific stressors because I wanted to make this as general as possible), Stress symptoms (sleep struggles, overthinking, lack of eating/overeating, etc. I tried to keep them neutral but I did have to give a little something), MEGA FLUFF
AN: this is a special request for @rae-is-typing! I apologize if it looks weird, it’s because tumblr hates me and I had to move it all over to word and then back again : D
• Honestly YN, I don’t know how you do it
• Literally, if it were me, I would have had a mental break down the first week of dealing with these idiots
• On the surface, it seems as if you have everything together
• I mean, you not only deal with your life but the lives of countless man-children
• Where as most people’s day starts at 8am and ends around 4-5pm
• You’re essentially on call 24/7, 365
• Literally you can’t even use the bathroom without Hinata or Bokuto knocking and asking what you are doing
• “Hey Yn, are you in there?” Bokuto and/or Hinata say knocking on the door
• You 👉🏻 maybe if I stay quiet they won’t think anyone’s in here….
• Honestly it’s a pipe dream Yn
• Just ignore them YN they will go away…
• Suddenly the door burst open and Bokuto and Hinata are in a full panic
• “OMG YN WE THOUGHT YOU DIED OR WORSE FAINTED!!” Bokuto screamed as Hinata is now hyperventilating
• And thus, the curtains close on your .02 seconds of peace and quiet
• Sakusa comes from beside saying, “you two really need to straighten out your priorities.”
• Then Iwaizumi is coming up yelling at you for leaving the door open to the bathroom 🙄
• You seriously cannot win
• Butalas everyone has their breakpoint YN and honestly I’m surprised you lasted as long as you did
• The Olympics were coming up and you were dealing with your own personal issues in your home life
• Seriously adding more stress to your already stressful life
• You never seemed to have time to do anything
• And you know how they say “things always come in threes”?
• You seriously cannot catch a break!!
• Your stress levels are skyrocking and with stress comes the unfortunate stress symptoms
• Some days you forget to eat while some days you feel like you can’t stop eating
• You’ve so little and yet you feel like you don’t have time to sleep
• The days seem long but yet you can’t accomplish anything 😩
• Honestly it’s just a nightmare
• You choose to suffer in silence, not wanting to bother anyone with your issues
• You know everyone else has problems and you don’t want to be that person to add more to someone else’s plate
• Deep down, you knew it wasn’t healthy to hold it in
• However everyone has their breaking point
• And our amazing YN’s cup has finally ran out
• You woke up feeling exhausted and it was a chore just to get yourself out of bed
• The stress was finally wearing on you and you needed a break
• Thank god tomorrow was the weekend, you just had to make it through today
• You headed to work, already looking forward to the 5pm whistle
• The guys were on their usual bullshit so you knew you’d have very little reprieve
• Yaku was the first to notice something
• “Hey Yn- you look run down?” He says as you look up at him
• “Dang Yn you look like you just got hit by a bus!” Atsumu chimes in
• You 👉🏻😐 thank you for that…
• Unfortunately you have very little time to breathe because Aran and Iwa surround you
• “Hey YN! We need you to get copies of the training schedules out to everyone,” Aran says
• “Yeah and I need you to go through the guys training manuals and replace the old sheets with the updated ones. It has to be done today Yn!” Iwa shouts
• Unwillingly adding more to your already tipped over plate
• “YN I need you to fill up all the volleyballs too,” the coach chimes in
• “Oh and we got a new sponsorship for some energy drink so we need you to make that pronto YN!” Ushijima just throws in there
• Meanwhile, the other dummies are all adding more and more until finally
• You break
• The tears start the flow and everything in your mind blanks as the damn of emotions finally cracks
• Everyone just stares at you, some in confusion and some in horror as you essentially break down on site
• “Hey YN, are you ok?” Aran asks, cautiously approaching you
• You just keep crying while trying to speak
• “N-no e-everything’s not-not ok!” You cry out, “I-I’m so-so T-tired and I-I can-can’t do T-this anymore!”
• The gym is filled with your sobs as the guys slowly began to realize how much they’ve been putting on you
• They have come to rely on you as their support, their go to person
• But they never took the time to check on you
• “Oh Yn, come on, let’s go sit on the bench,” Komori says, grabbing you and hauling you over
• Everyone follows in silence as you try to control your tears and your breathing
• It’s so much at once and all you can think about is how you’ve failed them
• “I’m s-sorry, I-I’ll get to wo-work,” you cry as Sakusa sits down beside you, essentially holding you in place
• “You’ll do no such thing Yn, take a break,” he says as the rest of the team nods
• They all feel horrible for neglecting you and not realizing how much stress you were under
• They just keep piling it on, not knowing the stress you were also dealing with in your personal life
• “YN, we are so sorry,” Hakuba says as the team nods
• “If we would have know Yn, we wouldn’t have been so hard on you,” Bokuto adds
• “It’s oh-ok, I-I need to d-do my j-job,” you stammer out
• “No Yn, you need to take care of yourself,” Iwa says
• “You need a break Yn, a few days off!” Kageyama chimes in
• “Yeah you need to get away from us for a while,” Hyakuzawa says
• Bokuto, Hinata, Atsumu 👉🏻 offended 🙄
• “Guys we have so much to do before the Olympics and I can’t just leave!” You cry out
• “YN if you aren’t going to take care of yourself, then I’m going to haul your ass home right now,” Iwa yells
• You 👉🏻👀 I mean…
• Iwa 👉🏻😐
• “Just take a few days Yn, take some time to rest and we can help you handle everything! I mean we have an entire team of capable men here!” Yaku says
• “I’d say 60% at more are capable,” Sakusa interjects
• Again Hinata, Bokuto and Atsumu 👉🏻 offended 🙄
• “If you think that’s best,” you say, deflated
• “YN we love you and we want you to be healthy! We would die if we didn’t have you cheering us on!” Komori says as the entire team nods frantically
• You sigh in defeat, knowing you need the rest
• “Ok but if you need me, make sure to message me!” You say, leaving the gym
• “We’ll be fine YN! Try to sleep and just breathe or something,” Aran says
• “WAIT YN HASN’T BEEN BREATHING THIS WHOLE TIME?!?” Bokuto screams
• Omg run YN, run while you still can 😂
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Text
No More [Selunite!Shadowheart x F!Reader/Tav]
NOTE: THIS IS A CONTINUATION OF FLICKERS OF LOSS. Yes, I did it, thank AO3 you cowards.
Honestly, I planned more but like where it ended too much to drag it out [sandcastles next time?]
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Continuation/Part 3 - Shadows of Shar
Intended Audience: Mature [it gets a teeny bit questionable but that's why the teens will ignore this rating anyway]
Who be smoochin?: Shadowheart x F!Reader/Tav (I got tired of y/n, broke my writing immersion)
The Bit: It's been a month since Selunite!Shadowheart and you escaped DarkJusticiar!Shadowheart. You haven't been sleeping well, and are struggling to adjust. It doesn't help that the wound she left on your hand, binding you to her, still torments you. Or the nightmares you have nearly every time you lay down. Or that you have few memories of your prior life with Selunite!Shadowheart to guide you.
Warnings/Advisories: Fluffy hurt comfort. You're going through it, lingering Stockholm Syndrome is making your thoughts questionable at times, one of your nightmares gets pretty spooky, you're still pretty damn brainwashed and your girlfriend is mega supportive. Mildly graphic detail of a relived memory, a distinct lack of sandcastles (sorry guys it was mostly written by the time it was suggested BUT... maybe next time? NO PROMISES)
Words, all the word (count): 2,583, baebeeeee
Link to the AO3 page if you prefer reading there
MINIMAL EDITING - WE FORGET AND DIE LIKE SHARRANS (AGAIN)
Providing a continuation I didn't think I'd actually write I'm 3...2...1...
-ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈--ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈--ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈-
Absentmindedly, your fingertips brushed over the wounds on your hand, staring into the darkness of the night surrounding the cottage. The rough texture of the log you've perched yourself on helped keep your mind from wandering too far while the chirping of crickets and hooting owls provided a beautiful, calming melody.
Dawn would break in two or so hours. You think. It was still odd, having to relearn things that came so simply to others. There was no need to memorize the lights in the sky when you seldom found yourself beneath them.
Twinkling and bright, they soothed something in you. Sure, the moon was beautiful, and you'd always be eternally grateful for everything Selûne has done. After all, it was her amulet around your neck that provided enduring guardianship over you. But sometimes... you just wanted the sparkling freckles scattered along the dark canvas of the night sky.
But your mind always wandered back to where it shouldn't. Or maybe it should. It was still so hard to tell. Even as you trace the shapes scarred into your flesh, something inside you... ached. Was that man hurting her? Does he make sure she has her black velvet tea stuff in the morning? Does she miss you?
Like you miss her...
Gods, how pathetic can you be?
A searing, throbbing burst of pain surges across your nerves from your hand, spreading up your arm and finally subsiding at your elbow. The scars-turned-sigils flickering a brief violet, while you wince and hiss. You were getting better at tolerating the pain...
Familiar footfalls crunched the leaves and twigs leading to your log. The first time, you jumped and darted into the woods. Found only when your wound flared so intensely, you screamed. The times after that, you jumped.
You've started to relearn the feeling of her presence, like a warm embrace that lingers in your memory. Differentiate it from what you were trained to know.
She took a seat beside you, positioning herself on your right. Close enough, you could feel her, distant enough to avoid suffocating you. The soft rustle of her clothing barely registered amidst the ambient songs of the evening. Silence enveloped her but was not unexpected, as she occasionally left you to your own musings. Just by being there, she effortlessly offered endless support. Provide soothing reassurance, an attentive ear or a warm shoulder - Whatever you needed, she would make sure you had it. It was one of the first things she taught you.
Though... recovery was still difficult. Part of you wanted to hear her. Scoot closer until you could feel her warmth. All you had to do was ask. Reach out for her. You weren't sure how to do much of that yet, but you wanted to try... you wanted to so badly. "I... don't want to sleep anymore." The words escape your lips in a hushed murmur, echoing the reason behind your presence in this place, reminding you why you're out here in the first place. And you fought desperately to shut it out.
"I know." She whispers, tone brimming with empathy. As you glance sideways, you can see her eyes locked on you, watching your every move. "But you need to. Running from it won't heal you, my love." Her hand moves closer to you, silently asking for permission.
All you do is return your hand to your side on the log, and Shadowheart does the rest. Her fingers delicately traced the contours of your hand as she slid hers over yours. You hesitantly meet her eyes, feeling a surge of nervous anticipation. All the warmth and happiness you wanted so badly was now laid bare and raw before you. Ready for you to come to your senses, get over yourself and...
Again, but worse this time. Your arm throbbed intensely, the pain spreading from your hand and into your shoulder, igniting a blazing fire pulsating through your entire body. It felt as though invisible knives were mercilessly carving your skin, prompting an involuntary cry of agony for just a fleeting moment before you quickly stifled it by clenching your teeth, your eyes screwed tightly shut.
You're barely aware of Shadowheart's hands clasped around yours, closer to you now, her soft-spoken words of affection and comfort. "Shh," she coos warmly, trying to soothe you. "It'll pass... just breathe. Shh... I'm right here, listen to me and breathe, love..." As your hand relaxes between hers and your breathing finds a steady rhythm, she can't help but smile. "There... See? Already passed." Shadowheart adds, placing a delicate peck to your temple, sending a warm tingle down your spine.
"Mine is bound to..."
"I know..." She cuts you off gently, rubbing soft circles on your hand. "This is the most she can do to you now. And the more you reclaim of yourself, the less this will matter. I promise."
Giving your hand a gentle squeeze before rising to her feet and gently pulling you with her. You don't fight her.
Leading you back inside, she playfully shoos away a dog lingering at the door, giggling quietly as it scampers off. A frown briefly creases your lips, wishing you could recognize the animals as much as they recognized you.
As she led you up the stairs to your bedroom, she made sure to keep your hand in hers, providing a constant sense of comfort until you reached the bed. She lifts a cat from your side of the bed and settles it on the floor before reaching for you to help you in. But she reads the look on your face, smiles almost apologetically and settles for just holding your hand until you sit on the edge of the bed.
Once you appear to relax, she gracefully rounds the bed and climbs in on her side, the mattress sinking slightly beneath her weight. Her eyes burning into your back as you sit there, hesitating. "Love, please..."
Her fingers lightly graze your exposed shoulder, causing you to flinch involuntarily. Shadowheart pauses, and you cringe at the hurt you sense radiating from her now still hand. But she tries, so slowly and timidly. "I'll be right here, sweetheart. Whatever comes, you won't face it alone this time. I swear..."
The tenderness in her voice is so different from the harsh commands you've come to expect. It's like a balm to your wary mind and you carefully ease yourself down to rest your head on the pillow.
For a split second, you're staring at the dark ceiling of that place and your core twitches in anticipation, ready to give everything and anything she wants of you.
A warm hand settles over yours, its touch so gentle that you don't notice your own trembling until she holds them steady. "You're safe here." Shadowheart reassures, voice barely above a whisper beside you. Nights have been difficult for the entire month you've been here, beset by restless sleep and haunting dreams. Surely it was wearing on her, this constant need to comfort and ground you... But here she was, just as patient and present as she was the first night. Not so much as implying a single complaint, passive or otherwise. "Can I hold you?" She asks, voice deliberate and measured, like the very words would startle you into the woods.
You offer a subtle nod, the faint sound of your affirmation barely audible in the room. As you do, you notice her cautious shuffle, the soft rustling of her moving across the bed. The moonlight through the window behind the bed casts a gentle glow, illuminating her hands, which she purposefully positions within your line of sight. You can sense her deliberate awareness, her conscious effort to ensure her actions remain visible. Gradually, she encircles you with her arms, her touch conveying a tender and guarded embrace. The scent of her envelops you - lavender and night orchids - adding a touch of familiarity.
She would never have... your body was hers to suit her whims...
"You're safe here..." Shadowheart whispers into your ear, returning you to the cottage. The present. Her nose gently presses into the crook of your neck, the warmth of her breath a soft caress you fixate on as your eyelids drift closed.
The initial darkness is hushed and welcoming, like a gentle whisper in the night... until it's not.
Until it's frigid and gripping at your limbs so tight, you almost lose feeling in them... Until they're pulling at the seams of you, tearing at you and boils your blood hot enough you swear your skin is melting off your bones like wax off a wick. You would scream if your mouth were allowed to open. "You've strayed, pet..." the icy voice scolds, her tone low. From the depths of the darkness, a faint silhouette emerges, steadily approaching you. "And we both know deep down that's not your honest desire."
Closing the distance between you, She emerges and looms above, her presence dominating. You realize now you're on your knees, with a sense of vulnerability washing over you.. Wearing her black robe you could still vividly envision even without seeing it. "Recall your prayer of contrition, when you first came to the Nightsingers' embrace."
You do, and the sharp pang of unmitigated anguish shoots through you. "When you wavered at the altar, when you turned away from her and hesitated to send Nyxara to her endless dark." It's as if a floodgate opens, and the memory of your first friend in the cloister rushes in. And your first act of wickedness to earn your place in it.
How She had to take your hand and drive the blade into her chest. The ghostly touch of tears streaming down your face lingers, as if they were shed just moments ago. You could almost still feel her heart beating its last into your palm through the dagger, as if you were still holding it. Could nearly feel the warmth of her life ebbing away in your hand.
You were permitted a pass only because She needed you initiated as soon as possible. But you had to pray for hours, the soft murmurs of your pleas mingling with the soft rustle of her robe as She circled you. Watched over you. Ensured your prayers were offered with utmost deference and reverence. Punishing you with your wound if you slipped in fervor.
Before you were called again to sacrifice Umbric, your only other friend. Your last one. Both a second chance to do it properly, and to repent of your failure... No more attachments. Only Shar. Only Her.
You knew better than to make friends after that.
Her slow crouch brought her eyes, icy green and intense, to meet yours, leaving you feeling completely powerless, entranced and held captive by her gaze. "Recite it. Recite it and repent for forswearing your faith to Lady Shar." The demand feels impossible to ignore, your mouth returning to you and an expectant glare follows.
"Mistress Shar, in the shadow of loss, I beseech your forgiveness. Forgive my faltering..."
"Tav!"
Your body lurches forward, drawing in a deep breath that fills your starving lungs. You feel your entire body trembling until warm, comforting arms encircle you. Offering a sense of security and safety. "I've got you, you're okay..."
"F-forgive my faltering faith, Mistress Shar—"
"Tav, no," Shadowheart says firmly, "come back to me, my love, I know you're stronger than her..." the stifled tremor is enough to clear the fog in your mind. "You're more than a puppet for her amusement. You always have been..." pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head before nestling her nose in your hair. Drawing you deeper into her arms.
Recite it.
"I... don't want to..." Finally you break, the intensity of your training and your hunger for this new way of life conflicting so fiercely it overwhelms you.
Without further clarification, she amazingly understands. "No, my love, you don't have to. Not anymore... Never again." Shadowheart mutters into your hair. Holding you tighter when she feels the wet warmth you're bathing her shirt in. "Gods, I'm so sorry," she mutters, her voice filled with a self-reproach. "I should have done more, planned better, gotten to you sooner..."
You don't think, not really. You just act. Like you know already. The motions are a blur, but you know you pull back just enough... then your lips are on hers. She takes a moment to gather herself, but eventually eases into the moment and reciprocates. And it's unbelievably amazing.
The way she kisses you is sweet and tender, as if she wants to savor every moment with you. How she touched you, looked at you, now kissing you, like you were the most cherished and adored person in the world. Her lips against yours is so soft and electrifying that it sends wonderful shivers down your spine, and your body tingles in bliss.
There's no teeth, no pain, no blood. Only the warmth of her mouth moving slowly with yours like a delicate caress. Her hands are soft on your back, maintaining the security her arms provide you. It's everything beautiful that your stunted memory can recall of her kisses, and more... and you never want her to stop, craving for more. How have you gone this long without realizing how indescribably incredible she is?
But surely she does, if ever slightly. Neither of you seems ready to fully disconnect from each other. Your eyes remaining closed. "No more..." you whisper quietly.
"No more..." Shadowheart echoes just as quietly. Her lips twitching slightly, one hand brushing away a few lingering tears from your cheek. "Not anymore." Pressing a small kiss to your lips. "Never again." And another before her smile spreads wider.
Shadowheart gracefully maneuvers you both again to lie down in bed. This time you're practically on top of her, your face nuzzled into her shoulder. You gently weave your fingers through her smooth, flowing white hair, which partially cascades over her other shoulder, eliciting both a smile and a small sigh of appreciation from her. Mesmerized by her beauty, you can't help gawk in awe. Bathed in the ethereal glow of the moonlight streaming through the window, she looks absolutely radiant.
Her hand, still playing with the hair behind your head, guides you to rest on her shoulder. Securing you against her with her arm.
The memory crosses your mind and though you tense a moment; it doesn't... hurt as much as you've come to expect. Shadowheart gently tightens her arms in silent reassurance, and you respond by wiggling impossibly closer to her. The last thing you want is for her to think you feel or appreciate nothing she's done.
Instead, you gently drape your arm over her waist, feeling a sense of belonging and protection, as your mind wanders to Shadowheart... Your Shadowheart, savoring how your body melds so perfectly with hers. The adventures you must have shared. Wondering if there's a way to get those memories back.
Shadowheart fills all the dark corners of your thoughts, leaving no room for her to overrun your peace of mind. Before long, the rhythmic rise and fall of her chest, her steady breathing, has created a soothing lullaby that lulls you back to sleep.
This time, you're welcomed by a soft radiance and a soothing warmth.
In your fragmented memory, you can't recall a time when you've slept as soundly as you do now, peacefully drifting into a deep slumber.
-ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈--ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈--ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈-
A/N: Wowowow okay hi. I didn't honestly expect to write anything beyond where it ended. Nothing public anyways. But AO3 asked very nicely (thanks!) for a continuation. I honestly intended this to be a beefy one but really liked the vibe and way it ended. Ya get what ya get. Quality over quantity, yeah?
Thanks again to everyone who likes, reblogs, replies, supports this little project in anyway you deem worth your time! And with that... Unpopular writer, awayyyy...
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toxinellebug · 4 months
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Shadybug/ClawNoir and the Resistance headcanons
Obviously Adrien is the type who knows how to put on the smooth model persona for his fans… but in front of the girl he legit has feelings for, he becomes a blushing mess who is at a loss for words because what if he says the wrong thing and she thinks he’s an idiot?!
Reformed Ladybug taking reformed Paw Noir by the hand as they went through the portal back to their universe turned his brain to mush just like when Adrien took Marinette’s hand during the protest in the Mega Leech episode of s4 and her brain went bye-bye.
Marienette remains Oblivious to Adrien’s crush because he is so awkward and quiet around her out of the mask, and in the mask he’s an idiot who switches between a guy trying and failing not to fall into his old habits of mocking her and calling her Cockroach, then smacking himself for it, and some weirdo flirting with cat-puns and the cheesiest one-liners she’s ever heard, while inwardly he curses himself for being stupid because that is no way to impress a girl! (Daring feats of heroism is!)
She wants to try and work with him but this bi-polar personality of his really grates on her nerves sometimes.
suddenly being treated like a damsel in distress is also annoying… But at the same time, having a partner who cares for her safety and goes out of his stupid way to try to keep her from harm actually feels kinda nice and maybe makes her feel a little special and she can’t hate him for that.
And okay yeah, blood red roses with thorny stems ARE her favorite flower, but she can’t let it go to that cat’s head!
The first time that she genuinely praises him for doing something right/not screwing up, he actually purrs and she can’t help it- she bursts out laughing and secretly admits to herself that ok; this blonde dork is lowkey adorable.
Any awkward tackling out of danger, rolling on the ground and then ending up on top of the other moments lead to him blushing because oh-crap-we’re-touching-this-is-both-awesome-and-terrifying, and her glaring at him with murderous rage.
But the first time she actually hugs him out of relief/concern, his brain decides he could die at that moment with no regrets and she has to yank on his cat ears to get that goofy grin off his face because they have a job to do, darn it! (Stop being cute! She refuses to catch feelings so stop making things difficult!)
The new “only use powers once then you have a time limit” thing sucks, but at least their bodies no longer hurt.
They are on the run immediately because it becomes obvious they have switched sides due to her use of her Miraculous cure that Shadybug never used because the Supreme always warned them about discretion and things don’t magically get fixed by a loveliness of ladybugs.
Because remember, the Supreme does not want the world to know of the existence of magic.
BUT IT ALSO BRINGS ATTENTION TO A NEW ALY!
Someone who KNOWS The Supreme’s true identity and about all the powers of the Miraculous. Someone who lost hope and went into hiding a long time ago.
Someone who, upon seeing not only Miracles happening in Paris, but the healing power of the Ladybug as well, realizes it is time to return to France and dare to hope to regain the freedom that had been lost to the world since the war.
Marrianne.
Fu’s old love.
She returns to Paris and seeks out others who wish to join a resistance to fight against the control of The Supreme.
People like Mylene, a man who dreamed of going by the name of Jagged Stone, Mr. Ramier, Alex, and she finds Nino and Alya, who introduce her to Betterfly, Ladybug, and Paw Noir.
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zzdigital · 3 months
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altocat · 2 months
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YEAh Hojo is so unpleasant and the icing on the cake of his whole horror is that he ACTUALLY gets dates.
Like... Sure maybe those women around him are paid but like. We have to consider the possibility. That he can actually charm people well enough in short bursts to get multiple women hanging off him in the beach scene despite acting Like That naturally. Like is he just that good in bed or something? Horrible thought to contemplate let me bleach my eyes but just??? Like what does he have going for him???
And worse, how are those women treated? Like from what little details we got about how he treats women and people he has control over in general, probably Not Well. BIG YIKES.
The level of sexually uncomfortable just oozing off Hojo is terrible already and then we add the absurdly sexist womanizer thing on top just urrrgh. Enough Red Flags to give a bull a seizure there.
I always saw it as people finding Hojo charismatic not necessarily because he's the strongest or best looking, but because he has CONFIDENCE. He says what he feels, he gets what he wants, and he gives no shits about how his actions impact others. He just does what he wants because he's Hojo. And people are drawn to that.
Think about it--does Hojo ever actually LOSE at any point throughout the entire Compilation? Okay, maybe Dirge. Technically. But isn't it enough that he's already sort of cheated death? In the OG? He gets the last laugh by injecting himself with Jenova cells and then goes out thinking he's given Sephiroth the advantage. The man is perpetually unfazed by everything. He's never truly rattled. He sadistically seizes whatever opportunity comes his way and he revels in it.
@heraldofcrow and I were shitposting about this earlier, but Hojo undeniably comes out on top this entire fucking series. Even if his plans don't ultimately succeed, even when his "creations" fail him. He's always five steps ahead of everyone and he just shrugs off whatever people throw at him. He literally gives no fucks.
I'm not saying Hojo has rizz.
I'm saying that Hojo is a MEGA CHAD and it turns out his offspring inherited his flawless MEGA CHAD genetics.
I'm joking he's awful
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megaman-fluffcanons · 9 months
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Hello! Sorry to bother you, but could you write headcanons about Turbo Man and Burst Man with a s/o, please?
I think I've only written for these two like,,, once
Turbo Man:
*Turbo Man can and will carry you around, if you let him of course
*If you're okay with it, he'll play songs on his stereo that you like!
*He is a little awkward when it comes to affection
*You are the only one that can give him affection
*you two are pretty close, as you do like spending time with him whenever possible
Burst Man:
*Burst Man loves any kind of affection, especially when it comes from you, so he can be a bit affectionate when it comes to you
*You two are always out on dates or just spending time together
*You are usually on the receiving end when it comes to compliments
*but if you compliment him, he will get flustered
*Burst Man wants to spend as much time with you as possible
*...and you may or may not have gone out to watch fireworks together on one more than one occasion
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