#btw i was as shocked by how gay and in love they r while i was making this as i was while we were reading pfft
Note
PLS write smut for Hazel from bottoms..I need her so bad I fear..maybe like subtop!hazel..is her having a strap too far..I need her..
this is not. a full fledged fic. but this is the first time in a sec that ive let myself be inspired by an ask. this is weirdly switcher and just pure gay-sexier than it is subby!hazel. lmk if you want things to get subbier, bc i can probably do that. but for rn i have.. this image.. and i want you to walk with me on this but also hold my hand because i'm #supershy,
(minors [including 17 year olds 🙏🏽] dni fr, under the cut: not that proofread. strap lol (r!r), foul language, breeding... language... (my bad) (hazel has a strap tho), subtop!hazel except i could've made this shit so much worse so i guess switch!hazel but like, switch!reader, idk everyone's just a whore. there's an "i love you" (or.. multiple, i guess). there's a mirror. there's a vibrator. purely stream of consciousness, i don't even think the position they're fucking in makes physical sense fr. i was bored and i was thinking, so i wrote a lot. this whole thing is not realistic btw. i have very little confidence that hazel's blowing anyone's back out, but. it's my first day out in a min so i'm rusty. all respect to the community. next time when i pull up, i'll offer something a little more tame and saccharine as opposed to [exaggerated p*rnstar moans!!!]. reblogs and whatnot appreciated.)
so, i have this .. picture.
of you putting a bullet vibe in the pocket of hazel's strap before she fucks you from behind for the first time.
she eventually finds the confidence to blow your back out, and tbh, you think it's gonna end with you seeing stars because you can already hear the fucking lottery machines going off in your head. she's fucking you so well, and hazel's problem is that you're letting her know.
at first she thinks she's going crazy. but those fucking mewls into the pillow over how deep she is, how she's making you feel so good, how you've missed her so much, are sending shocks through her clit that the vibe keeps amplifying, everytime her pelvis hits your ass.
if she thrusts hard enough, which god knows she does, it almost makes her buckle over.
you're left clenching the sheets, and gasping against the linen while she fucks you, taking you in a way that's so uncharacteristically perverse that you don't even have the brain capacity to ask yourself why you didn't ask her to take you like this, sooner. her thrusts are quick and shallow, her words breathy and a little sharp. with every jolt of your body forwards as she experimentally blows your back out, it's like you feel yourself becoming more and more removed from this fucking planet. you can't help but cry -- sob, even -- as she makes you into a mess of limbs, leaving you tugging at your tits in one split second, and gripping at the sheets the next.
something happens, though.
where her hips rut into yours in deep, hard thrusts, spaced out by what feels like eternities, you can hear her. she's moaning now, breath quickening and chest rippling everytime her crotch hits yours at a particular angle. she's mewling, and unless you're hallucinating from how fucked up you are, you can hear her --
"fuck... f--uuh--ck, fuck, fuckfuck..."
-- silently beginning to whimper.
the girl goes from bullying your cunt to burying her strap deep enough in it to make the apex of its curve nudge against your g-spot, in a way that leaves your mouth hanging wide open with nothing spilling out of it maybe other than drool, but...
it's the slick warmth of hazel's back pressed nearly flush against yours and the heat of her breath against your shoulder that makes your eyes flutter open, facing your reflection in the floor-length mirror stationed across from hazel's bed.
hazel's in it so deep, you can't even see the strap anymore. and by no exaggeration, it's like an earthquake pulses through her body everytime she nudges her hips into your ass, making your vision blurry. she's rutting into you. greedily grinding her strap into your cunt in the effort of chasing her own high.
it wasn't a secret that hazel was sensitive. more often than not, the poor girl writhed against your mouth whenever she let you put it on her ("let you" is a loose sentence -- she begs for it, sometimes). you don't even know why you're surprised that your girlfriend is getting this close over having a bullet vibe pressed against her clit, hardly protected by fabric. "b--babe--"
what sounds like a plea, amongst the feeling of hazel's thighs trembling against the back of yours, inspires something sinister inside you.
you wind your hips against her, pressing back against the strap and the toy. the sight of your ass rolling against hazel's pelvis, combined with how good it feels is gonna actually, like, make hazel fucking--
"don't cum."
she loses her breath, entirely, and her rhythm, apparently. she slows, as if that was her body's instinct to obey your orders, despite the string of breaths that tumbles out of her mouth. "n-- wha-- fuck, no, nonono--"
you wind your hips deeper into hers, extracting a moan from your own throat -- fuck, maybe your gut, since that's how deep you could feel her. you press your ass into her until you feel the buzz of the vibe against folds, the frequency of it changing and humming as you press it further into her clit. "y--es," you grit. "don't fucking cum yet, hazel."
the dull, rolling vibrations through the fabric of the strap draw hazel's eyes into the back of her head, and then closed. she's grunting now -- or all of the above -- and she tries her best to unchap her lips, fruitlessly dragging over them. the little breaths she takes through them only brings them back to being puffy, pink, and a gateway of noise that gives evidence to struggle.
"gonna let me count you down?" you puff out your sentence in one breath, and hazel can fucking hear the grin in your still-fucked-out tone and it makes her whine louder.
"yeah? gonna fuckin' let me count you down so you can cum in me, haze?"
cum.. in you. three words that you'd never even fucking uttered to her before this, and that she never fucking thought she would ever hear and.. it looks like she can't complain, because her eyes roll into the back of her head and hazel swears that she -- at least, briefly -- meets jesus christ, "oh my god--," hazel slurs, hips rolling impossibly deeper into yours, it's a miracle she hasn't swabbed your cervix yet -- "ohmygod, oh my god--"
"three..."
ohfuck. ohfuck,ohfuck,ohfuck,ohfuck. it's the soft chorus that she whispers to herself as she starts to fuck herself into you, again, opting for thrusts as a means of trying to regain control with no consideration for your demise. the vision of her blurs in the mirror, and you feel your fists grasping at her sheets again.
"fuck--" you croak. "t--two.."
she pulls you further into her, and at this point, hazel's okay with being written off as a lost cause, 'cause fuck, it's not like she has a choice. the strap brief is soaked and it's entirely your fault, and god, she throws her head back. a mess of words, a mess of sensations, hazel just blurts, "oh my g--od--i love you--"
you burst out laughing at the random proclamation, admist everything.
she forces her head down to watch you, jaw hung open. and at this point, she's just speaking. rambling and slurring and gasping, tears-in-eyes-in-awe-and-all, as she watches you throw your ass back against her.
"iloveyou so much, you're so f--ucking hot, whatthefuck?--"
there's something weirdly sweet about it. something that makes your cunt clench around the strap in a way that hollows you out shortly thereafter, and lets hazel hit that fucking spot just right. before you know it, you're wherever hazel is, cunt fully creaming around the silicon.
"i love you--" you dumbly spit out a giggle, a gasp causing a steam of spit to cascade off your bottom lip and onto hazel's navy sheets. "babe," you warn. "ohfuck, ohmyfuckinggod, you're gonna make me cu---"
"fuckingsayone," hazel, unbelievably pleads while she unbelievably spears her strap into your cunt. "oh my fucking god, say one, please, please, pleaseplease--"
she starts begging. unprompted. "it's s-so good, it's so, so good, feels so fucking good, wanna c--um in you--" and she probably repeats it. probably repeats that she wants to cum in you until she's blue in the face and,
"o-one--"
until you let her.
the noise that's ripped from hazel's throat is .. embarrassing. virginal, almost. fully reverberates off the walls, and she trembles. her clit convulses against the vibe, twitching with every short stream of her release and she folds. poor girl was holding your hips for something -- for reassurance, to get a grip, dear life, perhaps? as her hips languidly fuck and press into the surface of your ass., rocking your near limp-frame after you've pretty much creamed all over her strap.
hazel hangs over you for god knows how long, dark hair shaggy and some strands stuck to her forehead in wavy wisps. cheeks flushed, and lower lip bitten to hell. the bullet vibe fucking dies, thank god almighty, because god knows she was not in any shape to reach down and turn it off.
she stays like that for a while, until she you feel her again. this time, only gentler, and much more like herself. soft hands caressing the skin of your back, her breath warm and shaky as she peppers a splay of kisses across your skin.
as you come from the surface of your own high, you feel yourself hum. still full of her, and dizzy with it. despite it, you manage -- slurring, slightly.
"haze?"
there's a hum, somewhere.
"did that really feel that good?"
hazel distantly nods, brown locks brushing against your back.
"uh.." hazel frowns, letting out a weak laugh. "y-yeah, honestly."
the mental note gets filed away somewhere deep in the haze of your brain and you grin, when you press your ass one against her just for shits and giggles and hear her gasp, from the sensitivity of it alone.
"that's my girl."
#hazel callahan x reader#hazel callahan#lesbian#wlw#lgbt#bottoms 2023#merry fuckin christmas#i am logging out see you in like 12-15-35 hours
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byler
byler is almost always paralleled to romantic couples and not paralleled to friendships. i was thinking about this the other day and turns out you guys voted for byler on the poll so HERE IT IS :)))
minor spoiler alert for: heartstopper, harry potter, stranger things
i'll be talking about how byler parallels to:
romantic pairings in stranger things
romantic pairings in other shows/movies (ive posted a more in-depth post about taoelle [romantic pairing in heartstopper] and byler being similar - if u want you can go check that out!!)
NOT friendships in stranger things (how it rarely parallels to other friendship pairings in the show compared to romantic ones)
romantic pairings in stranger things
jopper (joyce / hopper)
a. jopper has some scenes that parallel byler (this is just one example):
"I think we make a pretty good team." "I think it'll be easier if we're... we're a team."
b. also this music (you might know this already lol but this is just SO CRAZY LIKE WHAT DO YOU MEAN "oh, it's joyce and hopper" AND THE SAME SUBTITLES ARE SHOWN DURING SCENES WITH MIKE AND WILL???!? WHAT?????????????????????) [ website ]
[tender, emotional music swells] [tender, emotional music playing]
rockie (robin / vickie)
a. robin is the only confirmed gay character other than will and her crush on vickie is being shown as possibly reciprocated in the last ep of s4
[tender, emotional music playing] --- also another example of these subtitles
b. vickies relationship with her boyfriend is similar to mikes relationship with el (btw i loooove el im not saying shes similar to that guy, just talking about her relationship with mike and the love triangle imagery)
then theres these scenes of them being DIRECTLY positioned between established couples like.... these scenes are too crazy
2. romantic pairings in other shows/movies - this is strange because why would their dynamic be so similar to couples dynamics? if theyre just supposed to be friends???
harry potter - ron and hermione (I DO NOT SUPPORT JK R*WL*NG)
a. best friends to lovers trope / slowburn trope
in the final harry potter movie, ron and hermione have their first kiss. in the final season of stranger things, mike and w-
b. these scenes...
c. love triangles - ron thinks hermione likes harry over him (similar situation with will but mike and el are actually dating)
Heartstopper - nick and charlie
a. blue and yellow
b. this in the actual books - nick is the heart of the rugby team and mike is the heart of the party:
"You're the heart and centre of this team, Nick." "You're the heart."
c. bonus: i recently bought the heartstopper colouring book (its suuuper cute btw love it) and theres this???? is it giving paladin and cleric vibes???????
3. friendship pairings
lucas and dustin (im only gonna talk abt them for examples of friendship pairings)
a. season 1 - last ep, mike is super worried about will and immediately jumps up to see and hug him (he says that will is awake 3 times), while dustin and lucas are asleep
[snoring] "Guys. Guys, he's up. Will is up. Guys, Will's up."
also omg in this scene dustin calls her a "wizard" and then mike CORRECTS HIM SAYING SHES MORE LIKE YODA I CAN'T... CAUSE WILL IS THE WIZARD NOT EL..... ALSO BRO YODA??? THAT GIRL YOU KISSED AND ARE GOING TO DATE FOR LIKE A YEAR AND SAY YOU LOVE HER IS LIKE YODA???????
"She's basically a wizard." "More like a Yoda."
like bro... THIS UR GF???? LOVE OF YOUR LIFE???????????? YOUR LIFE STARTED BC OF HER?????? (feat. will being the wizard el can't replace in mikes head...)
b. different reactions to will's "body" being pulled out of the lake
lucas says that it must be will. mike doesn't accept the body being will's. (NOT LUCAS SLANDER DON'T WORRY I LOVE HIM)
shocked, has to lean on the truck to calm himself down, gets mad at el because she couldn't help him save will, is in tears, doesn't care about eleven in this moment because he's so sad that will is "dead"
(also sorry for the bad vid quality)
mike is obviously the most affected one by the "body" being found.
c. whenever something happens with will and mike, the others know they shouldn't interrupt, like this (lucas knows not to follow mike out):
and this (they're walking behind the others, having their own private conversation):
and also this (max doesn't get it but the others know mike and will want to be alone):
d. if mike, will, dustin and lucas are all just friends, and mike also said this to dustin (talking about lucas at first) ...
(Mike: He's not my best friend. [sighs] I mean, he is, but so are you. And so is Will.)
... then why is the relationship between mike and will so different and singled out to the relationship between ANY OTHER PAIRING BETWEEN THE FOUR if lucas, dustin and will are all supposed to be mike's best friends??
#byler#stranger things#byler analysis#parallels#also sorry this took so long#dude its been like a month..#sorry lol
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alrighty, to steal or not to steal! this one is a little hard to liveblog and I'm not going to go through all the options, so I'm just gonna take you through my favorite path and gush about how hot and gay everything is for the most part! there will be a little commentary on other paths but yeah :)
(thats the ile d'oleron)
notes under the cut as always!
for your viewing pleasure in case its been a while and you haven't played.
fun fact- I am also taking us on close to the first route I ever took with this special. I got waylaid along the way by the trick routes and failed a lot, but I'll get us on the path to the first win I ever got. (the best one.)
i was SHOCKED by how good this special was the first time I played through it. I had just joined the fandom, I was scrounging for content in the waiting-for-s3-desert, and boom- there was a SPECIAL? why didn't anyone tell me?
anyway, this is always super fun to do. I've done every single route multiple times and recorded all of them too for the illegal stash but theres nothing quite like playing it.
in the very first episode (and african ice) devineax mentions an amusement park in shanghai. wonder if the two are related, or if VILE just has a shit ton of properties in there?
she did, in fact, get shanghai'd in shanghai.
oh. thats why its set here. ahha i get it
she loves them 🥺
i choose top floor
carmen trusts her grappling hook in a glass building more than I trust myself
girlie walked into that empty steel door locked vault with an indiana jones trap ass looking phone in the middle that maelstrom was talking from and went to pick it up with ZERO hesitation
ah, carmen sandiego and its weird genre of toilet paper jokes during stressful circumstances
maelstrom's exasperated eyeroll and sigh as the married couple bicker
i choose steal for vile
the first time I played this i obviously chose to try to save zack and ivy. since I know that leads to failure now, I'm skipping it this playthrough, but it was quite the shock the first go around! tsonts plays to my little angst loving heart by making you watch zack and ivy and sometimes carmen meet horrible tragic ends again and again lmao
girlie the old you stole the statue of liberty skill issue
i like the glow of green on carm's face here to show her temporary allegiance change and vile's win
the terracotta warriors are super cool im glad we get to visit them
i think the first time i played this option i talked to tigress. since sneaking just gives bonus material and doesn't actually change anything (plus. puppies) im going that route!
i choose sneak past tigress
oh btw i love the little simplified characters in the choices they r so cute
also carmen's quips if you take too long to choose are hilarious and worth waiting for. dodge the cat or stop to chat?
me
subtitles doing the most
i LOVE how bitchy carmen gets in the special she's hilarious. she's very quietly pissed off the entire time and she mostly takes it out on tigress
those slides down the tunnel are sooo smooth
its impossible, as a canon law, to get zack and ivy's names right if you're a villain
i love the two's looks at each other when she steps on the booby trap its just resigned "ahhh shit."
imagine if there had been spikes at the bottom of the pit and carmen had just saved herself sdgjadsgjds
"im the one sitting in the catbird seat right now" oh you
anyway, i'm choosing leave tigress
this is the choice i made my first time playing! i love carmen's sassy ass "i cant hear you! im in a tunnel, bad connection!" line, and i'm not going the arctic circle path anyway so it doesn't matter.
tigress bugshadowing for s4! lots of foreshadowing for s4 in the special actually
the "theyre stunning" followed by that just. crushed look when she remembers what she's here to do augh
he has a beard and a mustache
she so cute
i choose hide and blend in
my first go around I chose to hitch a ride, as, I thought, was logical. I didn't know carmen had access to stopping time, a disguise, and endless amounts of dirt to camouflage her perfectly with the statues in addition to a handy spot to keep her change of clothes. who knew? im going with hide to speed up my run, but I was pissed off the first time i played this let me tell you sjgdhsgdhs
actually, you know what, let me hit ride for a second because I think there's a carmen death at the end of that one I want to comment on
carmen "historical artifacts are irreplaceable treasures" sandiego, everyone
why are vile's names for zack and ivy so shit
oh yeah here we go
the crash landing! I made a post on that years ago but my headcanon was that carmen was so distracted that she crashed and died I think lmfao. anyway no one came outta that one unscathed. k, back to the route!
OH i also like that the format for this is like the old gameshow a little bit with chief's lines at the end. its fun
they really wanted to call this thing "carmen sandiego: vile operative" didnt they. hamlet? was bela in on the naming of this?
cleo's little shoulder shimmies
abby trott's singing voice this episode <33333333
also THE OLD THEMEEEE this whole thing is just a throwback honestly its a lot of fun
carmens eyeroll at "carmens choice" jsadgha
to steal or not to steal: or, bellum and cleo being married old women for forty minutes
i choose cleo's caper
we just gotta get to the gay dance scene as quickly as possible okay
carmen asked for the specification on the eggs so seriously
cleo speaking french. thats it thats the post
some of the lines in this special are a little weird with repetition. carm does it once with the riding with/hiding among the statues in a way that sounds a little unnatural, and she does it again here with "everything i ever steal from vile goes straight to charity, and now they're making me steal from a charity?" the inflection/repetition is just weird, like the emphasis should have been on steal, not charity. idk maybe gina just reads weird
carmen SLAYS in this dress. i wish it was even more extravagent but i get they needed something simpler for the dance scene. still shes hot as fuuuck for the whole part
her leg split is scandalously high btw??
and JULIA GOOD GRACIOUS SHE'S SO GORGEOUS actually thank god for chase never showing his face in here he gets enough spotlight in the choose your own adventure novels
it took me an embarrassingly long time to realize that julia looks different because shes wearing contacts
her favorite acme agent
how did she find out julia's last name i wonder
noooo carmen dont avoid her ur so sexy ahahaha
carmen's voice. when she says scarlet santa rosa. hdhwidw oh boy. also hello, fake name for hospitals and hotels in every fic ever from this point out. we salute you.
player's "oh boy" he knows carmen's too gay for this shit
also good GOD yes we're dancing. only thing we're missing is carmen saying she likes to tango more than she likes to waltz so there we go. gay time
i choose to accept the dance
"do i cut a rug, or put the 'go' in sandiego?" these lines are GEMS
man this scene is spectacular
adoring how miserable carmen looks the entire time she's dancing with this rando. can she do it? yes. does she want to be? hell no
the guy: :D
carmen: 🙁
SHES HOLDING HERSELF SO FAR AWAY FROM HIM ITS SO FUNNY
girl if you were any further apart from this dude you'd be in north america
carmen fantasy mind link with mime bomb where she kicks the man to the curb and engages in a techno dance fantasy where she lets her hair down and goes wild, imagining julia argent seeing her and cheering her on gayly is top ten scenes in all of animation history
carmen's hips in the dance have me in a chokehold figuratively and i wish it was literally
the little prance after carmen kicks herself in the face is so gay you're being so gay dude. she imagines julia watching her and she stares directly at her and PRANCES
love the imaginary dance partner guy. carmen's like hm i wish this guy was fun
also THRILLED that the only canon imagination we ever see carmen having is one. being paranoid about a crusty 20 year old shadowsan stalking her and 2. having a dissociative dance fantasy because dancing the waltz with monaco royalty is torturous to stay grounded for
when she takes her hair out like if you agree
THE LEG SLIT SHINES THROUGH HERE WE ARE INCHES AWAY FROM THE TVY7 GOING OUT THE WINDOW FASTER THAN CARMEN DOES LATER IN THE SCENE
that was fantastic as always, sorry you had to sit through me ranting gayly for that long. time for more gay ranting. ITS JULIA!
carmens little moment of panic when julia comes up behind her is always great
man theyre so gay. julia is confident and girl please bestie i love you but this is the ONE time you're wrong
my favorite frame. goldfish julia
the height difference
"so good to see you again" 😌
julia using they/them pronouns win writers did her dirty in the s3 opener
"I will CERTAINLY be relieved once any stolen treasures MYSTERIOUSLY appear at my doorstep to allow me to return them to the proper authorities" she says in the most seductive voice possible, turning and walking away with a look over her shoulder
shes literally flirting you guys
player said woah because even he knew that the usual writers never let julia have that much personality and gaydar
gay abt it. also obsessed with their little hooves
we never talk about how dirty tsonts does you. it leads you unequivocally to believe that tricking julia is the correct option to keep both carmen and her safe. it ALSO leads you to believe that carmen is just going to pull a "WHATS THAT OVER THERE" trick and leave. SHE DOES NOT. DO THAT. SHE LOCKS JULIA OUT ON THE ROOF, STEALS FROM HER, AND LIES TO HER. WHY
anyway first time i played this i tricked julia thinking i was keeping her safe and was so pissed off by the outcome that I went back and trusted her. we do miss a glorious angy jules moment of her screaming "la femme rogue" with ten times less punch than devineaux, though.
all that is to say i choose trust julia.
either way you slice it i managed to wind up in a pickle at a caviar party
MMGH THE TRUST <3
they say trust like three times in this conversation its so. the core of their relationship
YESSS SHE TRUSTS HER DUGHDUHGDJDHEDHJD SHAKING THEM IN MY TEETH
carms little smile mmmmmmmmmm
ah, the cs 3/4 turn
OKAY even though it'll lead to bad shit happening we cannot skip the stash part because 1. it gives us one of carmen's BEST outfits and 2. i have a funny story about it/this is what i picked the first time
also it again leads us to the wrong choice on purpose in my opinion, which i think tsonts is designed to do
shes my profile picture and shes so killer in the waitress outfit god im so gay about it
okay here's my funny story when mime bomb started choking i was COMPLETELY prepared to have an option to save him or continue to go after the caviar and i was also COMPLETELY prepared to let him die i felt really bad about it once I realized they obviously weren't going to let him choke
NOT ON STAGE, PLAYER, ON FOOD
mime bomb singing opera foreshadowing!! while hes choking to death
carmen could give me the heimlich maneuver
mime bomb hairline reveal
everyone just dissipates once they realize they were laughing at a person actively dying
THE SHE
who is also the me on tumblr
the waitstaff wondering why this piece of fish weighs five times what its supposed to and why this one weighs nothing at all 🤨
you uncouth ninny
i love the cut from zack and ivy trying to fight to them immediately getting brainwashed they didnt stand a chance
btw where does carmen keep just. changing. where is she going. did she mug a waiter for that outfit and leave them naked in a closet. what
anyway ultimately i choose dash
she so cute when she commit acts of violence on innocent people
elsa is that you
man i love that shot of her putting on the glider. where is everyone though. like did they just think she threw herself off the edge and were like ah well
i love getting to see clips of carmen actually pulling the cord on her glider also her WHOLE LEG IS OUT GOD DAMN
imagine if they had just prerecorded zack and ivy and they were way off the mark. and zack and ivy were just mindwiped already
its my favorite background extra!
also the carmen-in-milan extra who was in dubai was also in the earlier scene
they have one RIGHT IN THE CENTER OF THE TOP OF THE WORLD
i choose steal for vile again becauseeee we snubbed tigress so that would fuckin suck for us. i do really enjoy the trust tigress --> arctic circle route, though (i wasnt even aware there was more than one good ending for a really long time because i always left tigress in the hole lmfao) but shes actually decent. i also like when you leave tigress --> arctic circle because carmen just kicks a solid metal foot thick door. and it hurts. like she didnt think about that one
hell???? in a kids show??? 😲
i like how you can see that carmen appreciates how incredible it is that theres soft tissue intact
another weird inflection thing? she says "attempt to clone-" like shes about to put emphasis on the dinosaur part after, when i feel like she would put emphasis on clone? idk whatever
gremlin bellum is the best
editing carmen sandiego clips to be way out of context is my passion. ugh. im going to hell
montana got such a sad info section honestly
carmen slaying that red eyeliner
OKAY first time i did this i tried to catch the plane, which is what im doing now because...it just adds scenes and doesnt actually change anything. however the first time i did this...you know what, tell you when we get there. here we go.
rip carmen's motorcycle which she somehow had in montana
imagine being the pilot
oh yeah okay. so, the first time i played this i literally fucking thought i had just condemned carmen to a horrific and unnecessary painful death. the glider prevented me from having a full out heart attack, I think, but it scared me VERY BADLY!
and then- alright, by this point, I'd chosen wrong pretty much every single time. the van, the soldiers, the stash/dash, everything. i just fucked up EVERYTHING. so when bellum called and was like YOU WASTED SO MUCH TIME i thought OHHH NO FUCK DID I DOOM THEM AGAIN NOOO. it turns out, you get that scene no matter which path you take. so. whatever. but that series of events got me so scared
TSONTS does more for carmen's friendship with zack and ivy/building relationships with allies than the entire main series and you can fight me on that
she thought you were making a funny 🤨
autistic bellum agenda
first time around i picked el topo! there are fun sides to both- el topo's line about being pawns in a bigger game, but also le chevre gets you a chase scene on a rollercoaster where agent zari tries to run carmen over . ride the cyclone her if you will. both are fun, but for the sake of doing my og path im going to go for el topo!
el topo is such a cinnamon roll. hes excited to work with her 🥺 he hates no one 🥺
"very well dressed company" acmeoffical should put that was their tagline
i think my first go around i hid, so I'm doing that. AgAiN, tsonts leads you to the wrong option. like. obviously running seems stupid if the entire place is crawling with them?? to me, anyway. but. i guess its always right in this playthrough. still choosing hide first because i like to see carmen break shit and get caught
she pulls a dokuso on that one. where did she get a smoke bomb
the cranial dranial. btw the noises on that title card are disgusssting. you miss out on so many good gags if you save zack and ivy from dying. bellum and cleo squabbling. bellum renaming the mindwiper every three seconds
anyway onto the good option of run
and my favorite background acme agent <3
carmen being loud af in those vents and REALLY not careful with that one of a kind priceless bone
behold, carmen sandiego
love how embarrassed zari is jdsgdjsh
girlie fit through THAT grate???
AHH THE JULIA AIRPORT SCENE
love how you can see her little foot sticking out from behind the tourist before she pops out
i also love how carmen very clearly notices julia following her
my favorite bg character again
julias so cute
woah, a mindwiping carmen plot?? thats so diabolical! im glad its possible to entirely avoid that fate for carmen in the canon. yep!
lil. gay julia
its so sad when julia rejects her if you decide to lock her out on the roof. but also hilarious because julia tracks her through the airport LITERALLY just to break up with her on her own terms. shes like oh i gotta find carmen and carmen is like hi and then julia just leaves
also the dont trust julia ending is literally the worst ending in the game and its a crime that that symbolism didnt carry to the main series. so angsty and good though i really like that scene
ALSO also the carmen getting mindwiped bad ending?? THATS how carmen should have reacted in s4. shes struggling, shes trying to avoid it, but like?? in the CANON MINDWIPING carmens just like grgrggrgr im biting this. not going to change my behavior of yanking on my wrists as maelstrom reveals a terrible fate to me just going to keep looping "struggle animation" like an npc
sorry. im salty about that. you can tell. back on track to the gay ending.
UM. SURE? shes so cute
PAPER STAR'S THEME!!! i love that being woven into the score
juliaaaa in the hat and coaaaat
zack and ivy's banter in the evil shack is great
oddly specific subtitles?
carmen got the perfect circle capabilities of luz in here
how did she just move that piece of roof aside instead of it falling in help
"since when does carmen sandiego wear glasses" REALLY thats the ONLY thing that looks different about her? not the. race change. or the dark hair pixie cut. or losing half a foot of height
zack hugging carmen <33
man im hitting my image limit for this post help
also carmen just shoving zack away is so funny shes not even gentle shes just like BOOM lets jet.
that vile grunt slamming face first into the helicopter my beloved
"not of helicopters im not!" zack says, flying the helicopter flawlessly
"here's looking at you, crew" is a reference to the 1942 film casablanca which was the first location carmen visited outside of vile island. in this theory i will prove that casablanca was the first movie she ever watched and-
how do you know where julia lives, huh carmen? dont you know thats GAY?
HHAAIHUDGHGGHDSJ i love this ending so fucking much arhsghaggdrg. im carmen sandiego and im here to make your day. she's wearing the hat and coat. shes so cute theyre so gay et cetera et cetera
that gayass little display carmen does for her
the fucking. bouquet of red roses oh its carmens color no shut up she did NOT have to do that that was EXPLICIT. ALSO JULIA BLUSHING ABOUT IT WHILE SHE THANKS HER AND HOLDS THE BOUQUET IM GOING FERAL OVER THEM TSONTS DID SO MUCH FOR US
BONUS SCENE TIMEEEEE
what an absolute treasure i love the recreation of the old rockapellas song. they got to correct their czech republic inaccuracy wheeze. oh to be a geography show during a time when geography isnt staying the same long enough to make content about it
zack submitting himself to chinese water torture just for fun
the vile operatives ajdgshdfaghds
ABBY TROTT <3 love you and ivy's dancing and ivy singing and everyone dancing and everyone singing pop off slay the whole nine yards
obsessed with that little arm move on "berlin down to belize" what was that
carmivy canon
tigress's shoulder shimmies and pinchies of the glider yes
cs color theory ON LOCATION + the gays being gay
ive never understood the mekong from the jungle line honestly. did she steal the whole river. unify east and southeast asia. i guess so. if she can steal the statue of liberty why not
puberty didnt hit player like a truck it hit him like a rocketship
brunt's little jig as she goes to punch the living daylights out of carmen <3
SHE PUT THE MISS IN MISDEMEANOR WHEN SHE STOLE THE BEANS FROM LIMA <3 thats my favorite line
GO BORIS SLAY
i also love zari's line
"A moving violation is any violation of the law committed by the driver of a vehicle while it is in motion" julia literally knows carmen is a cant drive gay
mime bomb's one line <3
ACME SPELLING OUT ACME LIKE ITS YMCA IS HONESTLY SUCH A FUNNY VISUAL GAG BY THE WAY
once again, ABBY TROTT'S VOICE
tigress dances like i dance. badly
GAYS BEIN GAY
SLAY CLEANERS GET IT
the little faculty dance showcases is also fantastic. get bellum'd. maelstrom's doing a mickey mouse clubhouse ass dance. cleo is slaying
the mystery: is coach brunt saying "let me know" or "lambkins, oh"
its the first one but i thought it was the latter for a long time
THE GROUP SHOT!!
never noticed the mechanic waving her little wrench around. there are a bunch of cute motions like the gays being gayer, a cleaner singing into his mop, and ivy pumping the air with her fist
anyway, SORRY! this was long af! my bad! it's a lot to cover and. kind of hard to liveblog when there are so many options. if anyone got this far, i hope you enjoyed it! see ya next week for season 3!!
and, yes, i was later again. more late than usual, actually. i've been busy with art fight >:)
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i want to hear ur thoughts abt object terror, you philosophor
so disclaimer i havent seen OT in fucking months so this insane ramble isnt gna be. the best but
object terror is one of the best worst fucking object shows ive ever seen, literally the PRIME example of some edgy kid trying to make an object show that isnt ur grandmas object show. no. this is the REAL shit and they say SLURS and theres BLOOD and GORE (yes im serious theres blood and gore and death but itsnot that bad, definitely a bit shocking if u didnt expect it to happen tho)
theres also shitty voice acting and terrible mic quality galore, EX: theres a fucking cup that had this dogshit mic for the longest fucking time and it deadass sounded like bro was talking into a washing machine ohmy god, i remember there was a clip of him going around on twitter a while ago cuz of this (i think that was my first time seeing anything from OT too so theres that)
OH and theres cactus, i barely remember anything abt him but he had this fucking emotionless voice that made me HYSTERICAL. there was a scene where someone got him pissed and he said "you take that back" with. absolutely no emotion at all and since then me and my friends keep fucking quoting that line cuz its the funniest fucking shit ever
btw that slur line i said earlier wasnt a joke, one of the characters straight up drops the R SLUR in the FIRST EPISODE (funnily enough, that character became the creators objectsona i think? ik they kinda used him as a mascot for a bit which is so fucking funny) tho i dont think they drop anymore slurs after that but dont take my word on it
anyways i gotta talk abt my favorite fucking part abt this fucking show before i get to. mint
THESE FUCKING CUNTS.
before i watched object terror i got fucking warned abt these two because there was a . homophobic scene w them or some shit and i had NO idea what it was for the longest time so i was really excited to see what object homophobia was gna be graced upon my faggotly eyes
and then theyjust. started making out randomly. LIKE OUTTA NOWHERE and there were other characters there that were gna try to attack/kill them? but then they saw them kissing and were like omg ewww boys (i think. the stuff that happens after this scene is kinda blurry tbh and im NOT gonna go back and watch the clip to see what happens ok. i REFUSE) and im sorry but thats the best fucking object show scene ever
AND LIKE? IDK? MAYBE ITS JUST ME BUT I DONT GET WHY I SAW PPL SAY THIS WAS HOMOPHOBIC???? i dunno maybe its just me but like these two just kissed while watching tv and eating chicken AND NOTHING BAD HAPPENED TO THEM!!! THEY LITERALLY WON IMMUNITY BY THE END OF THE EPISODE TOO. THEY WON. THE GAYS WON. and its so fucking funny to me bro object terror LOVES the gays
ok now i need to talk about mint im sorry i hate this fucking thing so much I NEED TO KILL HIM WITH A ROCK!!!! FFFUCK!!
hes literally just taco ii but 100x worse, i dont even like tacos evil arc or whatever cuz i always found her annoying BUT MINT IS SO MUCH WORSE
never in my. almost 2 years of watching object shows have i ever hated a character so fucking much LIKE GENUINELY THIS THING MAKES ME SO FRUSTRATED. hes just that. lol XD random character FOR THE WHOLE SERIES. just annoying and loud and does literally fucking nothing AND THE JOKES W HIM ARE SO FORCED I SWEAR THEY STOPPED . EVERYTHING THAT WAS GOING ON IN AN EPISODE JUST TO FOCUS ON THIS MOTHERFUCKER CUZ HE WAS GONNA DO SOMETHING FUNNY. im not mad that im missing out on some "juicy" object terror "lore" im just pissed that i have to see this fucking disgrace on my screen
oh and in the latest episode (as of now, the series isnt actually finished yet and i hope to god it never gets continued) SUDDENLY mint has a fucking arc THAT WAS NEVER FORESHADOWED AT ALL IN THE SERIES!! SO SUDDENLY HES A SMART GENIUS THAT COULD DO ANYTHING CUZ HE HAS MACHINES N SHIT AND A WHOLE ASS LABORATORY ??????? THEN HE FUCKING DIES
do you know how many fucking. mid and uninteresting characters we had to lose for him
DO YOU KNOW THE LOSSES I HAD TO DEAL WITH CUZ OF HIM
he lived for too fuckig long in this show dammit it pisses me off that he's even a character that exists . i blame him for being the reason why i hate joke characters (except david ily david bfdi)
i dont wanna talk abt him anymore im gonna
OK OK BUT. 1 more thing. smore
smore is this guy that they introduced later on in the series and hes a FUCKING. DEMON FROM HELL and i need him so bad actually
i think at some point he tries to . kill mint too so im literaly making out with him rn oh my god HES SO
im so mad hes in object terror IM GETTING YOU OUTTA THERE BABY ‼ ‼ 🗣🗣
honestly tho he was so cool im a little mad that they introduced him so late into the show CUZ WE ONLY SEE HIM FOR LIKE 2 EPISODES GRAHHHH RAAGHHHH babygirl
anyways thats it i feel like theres more but im not gonna wring out any more object terror knowledge from my brain i think that'll kill me
hope u enjoyed my insanity anon heres a loser . hope this heals you
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Dear Marte!
I´ve found your blog absolutely randomly like 2 weeks ago and I have to say that I really love how calm and patient you are when answering your asks while your answers also makes sence - especially that huge question if they are still together because I know many "old" larries are tired of answering it (and I totally get it because it really is exhausting and it just creates more and more questions and spectaculations and everybody´s tired of making others believe)....while your answer if we would know if they broke up is really making sence especially when there are so many songs they wrote about each other and telling the same story in different pov, we would see the difference in their performance....and I also think you can´t just break up with your partner after +10 year just in one minute and if there are relationship problems you rather find ways how to solve them or make a compromise that just say "Nah, I´m done and I breaking up with you, bye!".
Maybe I find you´re pov a bit more romantic and maybe imo you´re looking at them with rose-coloured glasses while other "old" larries are quite bitter about them or just tired with their bs after those years of being hopeful....but I actually like that because sometimes it feels like being a bit naive and taking the leap of faith is better than being constatnly angry and disappointed with them. And that´s why I really find your blog a calm and hopeful place in this fandom especially when their stunts sh*ts are boiling. So really thank you for all of this!
Btw the recent discussion if they would be a power couple if they CO....I don´t know. Like I feel it would be huge especially because Harry is the most known and one-of-the-kind singer rn and coming out saying we are together since the day we met x years ago would definitely make huge noise especially in the queer community. Yes, there are many famous gay couples (or at least one is famous and in known relationship so you can google his partner and you´re see couple photos) but HL are still young, both famous and so they can be a couple role models for younger queer/gay couples. BUT on the other hand what makes H so interesting for gp//harries is his date life and womanizerTM image and drama around it - some days I´m not sure if it´s better that Harry is publicly single because tabloids and harries link literally every woman to him or if it´s better that he´s stunting because it´s annoying to see him with another fake gf but at least you know who that person is and he´s not linked to new woman every other week - and HL as a couple will be totally unproblematic and stable so after that first shock media/gp will slowly loose their interest in them and move on to someone else who creates drama. And I´m bit afraid that this drama is so part of Harry´s image right now and it keeps him in public eyes so unfortuntaley I don´t think his management will approve their CO because of this. And of course there´s this "I have a private life, you just don´t know about it" which I think both of them take as the most important thing to keep and so they don´t share anything, not even family or friends events - it´s always their sisters who share at least a photo from these events.
Dear, anon!
I always think it's funny when people call me a romantic, but i'll take it! And you're welcome! I hate the bs too, but if everyone was just tired and down about it, and constantly focusing on it, this fandom would be a depressing place where nobody would want to spend their time. I believe it's important to balance the good and the bad.
I think they'd be a good power couple, but i think the window is slowly closing. I think Harry is getting tired of the constant drama and the revolving doors of women, and we are getting tired of the constant drama. He's getting older and i hope he's got other goals in life than being on the cover of the sun every single day faking it. I don't think H and L would be less papped or less sought after if they reveal their relationship. I don't think they'd be boring. They'd still make albums, go on tours, and do things like other celebrity couples do to get press.
As i've said before i don't buy the privacy argument, so we'll have to disagree on that point. I think we'll get a freer version of them who wants to tell the world everything they've been hiding and dealing with. We'll get books, movies, tv series about them, larrie fics turned into original fiction and other people writing songs about them. Call me a romantic all you want, but the potential is endless!
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fanfic idea loosely inspired by the importance of being earnest:
sally and r are using the name ‘jacquelyn scieszka’ as an alias.
sally came up with the name first. sally uses the name whenever traveling outside the city, like in tedia or ophelia or other neighboring place, so people don’t trace anything jacquelyn did with sally herself.
gustav knows of this, and thinks it’s silly because sally doesn’t do anything that could have her needing a fake name.
sally as jacquelyn scieszka ends up befriending a non-vfd. calling this dude john, though he likes to go by jack.
sally and jack eventually start dating. jack btw talks a lot and fondly about a dear friend of his. sally knows jack is bi (sally is bi also btw that’s what i headcanon her), but she has a growing theory jack is in love with his friend, but it’s in denial due to the fact said friend is straight.
r eventually discovers sally’s fake name of jacquelyn scieszka, and instead of confronting sally over it, decides to use it herself, in places in the city and land of districts where most people won’t associate the heir apparent of the duchy of winnipeg to be in.
r as jacquelyn scieszka befriends a non-vfd person. calling this dude algernon, but he goes by eli.
eli is in the closet and to keep up appearances, needs a girlfriend. r does it out of solidarity and sympathy. eli is grateful for r, jacquelyn, for helping out and tells her one day, he’ll help her in return.
larry learns of this, for larry had to serve r as jacquelyn scieszka and eli at a non-vfd restaurant. pretty awkward tbh.
eventually, gustav and larry discover together one day while having a nice brunch together a. both sally and r are using the same name of jacquelyn scieszka, b. that jack and eli are friends, and c. jack and eli discover they know and are dating jacquelyn scieszka.
the realization of the jack-eli-jacquelyn scieszka mess has gustav and larry zooming out of the restaurant and their brunch to tell sally and r -who are together today in the city headquarter- about the overheard conversation.
needless to say, sally and r are freaking out. sally at one point does changes tunes, getting upset how r stole her fake name. r redirects the conversation to what is actually at hand.
their solution? they must kill/bury jacquelyn scieszka.
eventually before the group kills off/bury jacquelyn scieszka (they bought a coffin to make it all more realistic), jack and eli found the group on the road to swarthy swamp. jack and eli are shock to learn that jacquelyn scieszka is really two people sharing a fake name.
eli on the trip with jack grows enough confidence to comes out as gay to jack, as well as confessing his love right upon confronting sally and r (and gustav and larry, who are in the background going ‘wtf man you’re confessing it here just as we’re about to dig?’).
jack on the trip with eli learns that yes, he’s in love with a dear friend of his, and after hearing eli’s confession, pronounces his love also (gustav and larry are still going ‘wtf’ in the background).
sally and r react the same way: happy and shouting congratulations for these two for sorting out their feelings (r especially so because of that solidarity and sympathy) and the two couples break up.
the funeral for jacquelyn scieszka is still held. with jack and eli knowing, they figure they should continue on with the plan. everyone say lovely words of parting about how jacquelyn scieszka brought them all together as friends, and helped two people find love.
then they bury an empty coffin at swarthy swamp, and keep it a secret between themselves.
#randomity things#ramblings#sally sebald#duchess of winnipeg#r#gustav sebald#larry your waiter#i say fanfic idea because i don't know if i'll write it out properly#at the very least i got the general idea posted#hesitant to say headcanon because i feel if it is going to be a headcanon#i need to rework the details to fit my other headcanons
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christmas magic's brought this tale (to a very happy ending)
Written for Day 10 - Game Night / Movie Night of 12 Days of Christmas @supercorpbb
Read on AO3
***
r/relationship_advice – posted by u/anonymous1000 – 13 hours ago
My (25f) crush and best friend (27f) chose a lesbian classic for movie night, how do I react?
Disclaimer ahead: I haven’t used reddit before and am thus not very fluent in etiquette and formatting, but please bear with me because I am seriously overwhelmed by the current situation and would appreciate all forms of help. I’m also typing this in a hurry, because I’m supposed to be in the bathroom, so please excuse typos or inaccuracies. I’ll try my best. But now, without further ado, here goes:
I (25f) have been crushing on my best friend (27f) pretty much since the day we met. For context, that was two years ago, and while we started out on a business relationship, it evolved into a close friendship almost right away. This is mostly due to her, I must admit. She’s the most open-minded person I know and simply couldn’t be “scared away” by my bad reputation (which I inherited). Needless to say, I’m very grateful for her. She’s not only my best, but has also been my only friend for quite a while, before she introduced me to her inner circle. I unironically owe her my happiness (and my life, several times over, but that’s unrelated to this story).
I’d fallen in love before I realised what was happening. Usually, trust and affection come slowly to me, but her I loved almost right away. That’s simply who she is, a person one cannot help loving. Also, she’s very attractive, side note. I used to flirt with her sometimes, in the beginning, before I became aware of the depth of my feelings (this is awkward to talk about, btw, thank goodness for anonymity online), and back then, it seemed like she wasn’t all unresponsive to my advances. Then again, she isn’t very good at saying no to anyone, because of who she is as a person, so maybe she was only being polite? I’m not sure.
Anyway, she had a boyfriend then, and I had to come to terms with my feelings, so I sort of drew back a little. I’d been with women before, so that was never an issue, but I’m uncertain whether she has ever considered women. Her sister is gay, and she is very supportive of her, but we’ve never talked about how she feels. As far as I know, she’s only ever been with men though. Either way, I’m not in the business of making moves on taken people, so I mostly focused on fostering our friendship.
The thing is, as long as I can be close with her, I am sort of okay with being “just friends”. I mean, isn’t close friendship like a romantic relationship, just minus the romance? And minus the physical advantages (although she is a very cuddly person, so that’s nice). And, like, of course, I’d like to mean more to her. Of course I’d like to take care of her every day when she comes home, cook her dinner, listen to her worries, massage her neck, kiss her goodnight. Of course I’d like to be The One to her, just like she is The One to me. But considering that she’s probably straight and not interested in me in that way, I’m mostly okay with just being her best friend.
Or, I was mostly okay with it. But recently she’s… been acting differently towards me. She’s giving me these long glances when she thinks I don’t notice (I do). She’s going out of her way to make sure I’m fine and don’t work too much (it’s a tendency I have, especially pre-Christmas). She’s told me she’s been working on my Christmas gift almost all month (and I can’t for the hell of it guess what it could be). She’s even invited me for Christmas with her family (since I don’t celebrate with mine).
And now today, she chose the film Carol for movie night (movie night is a weekly thing we do, I should have mentioned that earlier, maybe), which is, as you might know, about a lesbian relationship. And I don’t know what to do.
She claims to have chosen the film because it was on a list of Christmas films (and I suppose it does have christmassy vibes), and because it “sounded fitting”. Sounded fitting?? What is that even supposed to mean? She doesn’t know I’m gay, so it can’t be that, unless she somehow figured out. Is she gay and this is her way of telling me? And if so, how do I react? Is this her letting me know she’s interested in me, or am I reading too much into this? Did she even realise this was a lesbian film??
Anyway, she’s calling from the living room, so I need to go. I’ll try to take another bathroom break halfway into the movie, and I’d appreciate it A Lot if I had some reactions in by then, because I’m panicking a little here. Thank you all!
Tl;dr: my supposedly straight friend chose a lesbian film for movie night, and I don’t understand her intentions behind that.
(P.S. She and her boyfriend have broken up months ago. She’s currently single.)
***
r/relationship_advice – posted by u/anonymous1000 – 11 hours ago
UPDATE to this post
First of all, thank you all so much for your quick replies, they’re really helpful. As you might have guessed, I managed to negotiate another bathroom break mid-film (though my friend is currently sulking on the couch, she didn’t want to let me go? :) ?) and am, once again, typing as fast as my fingers will allow. Much has happened.
I’ve mentioned that my friend is a very cuddly person. Today was no difference – as soon as she’d pressed play on the film, she’d already enveloped me in one of her bone-crushing hugs (she’s very strong). Normally, I let myself sink into these embraces, because she really is a phenomenal hugger, but today my speculations were so prevalent in my mind that I could hardly breathe when our bodies touched.
(She noticed my reaction right away, and immediately asked if I’d rather not hug (to which I replied a vehement no), and this really isn’t very important to the story, but I wanted to let you know.)
As the film progressed (largely unregarded by me, I must admit), I noticed several things about her behaviour that seemed odd, though:
One, her heartbeat became considerably faster as soon as Carol and Therese had met on-screen and it became clear that their relationship would be the focus of the film.
Two, she’s been side-eyeing me a lot more frequently than usual (she tends to watch me watch films if she knows the plot already, but considering she probably hasn’t seen Carol before, this seems out of character for her).
Three, and this is… I don’t even know how to feel about this, but… how do I formulate this best… When the sex scene was playing, I swear she looked at my cleavage and blushed.
I’m sort of ecstatic (because those are hints, right? I can’t be the only one to think that those are hints?) but also very very VERY worried that I’ve totally misinterpreted the entire situation. Then again, all of your comments sound incredibly hopeful and affirming, so I guess I’m not entirely wrong in my assumptions?
I need to go back now (I’ve been here way too long already), but I will definitely keep you updated. It’s so heart-warming to see how invested all of you are!
@everyone who told me to kiss her already: if she keeps this up, I just might :)
***
r/relationship_advice – posted by u/anonymous1000 – 1 hour ago
UPDATE! All’s well that ends well!
Hey everyone, I am so sorry for the late update. I ended up being… somewhat busy last night.
:) :) :)
So, long story short, we’re dating now. And yes, I did kiss her (or she kissed me, I can’t remember exactly. We somehow kissed each other simultaneously).
Long story slightly less short, because I see you hungering for details in the comments (and my now-girlfriend said you deserved to know), here is how it went down:
We didn’t even finish the film. We didn’t even resume the film, after I returned from the bathroom. Because when I did, giddy and ready to Do This, she wasn’t even looking at me. No, she was looking at her phone.
Now, I’ve never seen a person look at their phone with an expression quite as shocked as hers. She was, I’m not kidding, completely frozen (and if you knew her, you’d know that doesn’t happen often).
So naturally I rush over to her, worried as can be, thinking something bad happened, a catastrophe or maybe an accident in her family. And as I kneel by her side, and she still hasn’t moved, I happen to see what she’s been reading on her phone screen.
And it’s reddit.
I’m not gonna lie, for a second I thought it was all over. I mean, she’d obviously recognised us in my post (so much for anonymity everyone, the internet is treacherous), and judging by her expression, well… I assumed the worst.
But then she turns around and she fixes me with this incredibly cute stern stare she has, and she goes: “[My full name]. Have you browsed the relationship tag even once?”
And I shake my head, completely dumbfounded of course, because what does that have to do with anything. But apparently it plays a crucial role, because apparently you all know my girlfriend.
Her username is @supergirlssupercurls and she’s been posting the entire journey of our friendship/romance on this platform. Turns out she loves me too.
:)
She’s also told me to end this with: and they lived happily ever after.
(Let’s hope we do).
#supercorp#supercorp fanfiction#sc fanfic#sc#supergirl#christmas#christmas fic#mini fic#my writing#movie night
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I don't know anything about kim possible but first: shego good taste... she has an amazing design, omg. What are her favorite ways to show affection towards you, and what are your favourite ways to show her that you love her? And how did you and Monkey Fist get together? (this is deepseagf's main, btw, so don't be shocked :>)
SORRY it took me so long to get to this thanku for sending it!! ;_;
I think Shego struggels a bit to show affection because she doesn’t want to admit shes able to show it. but i think she does small gestures like remembering what temperature Lola like to sleep at, remembering what food they like and getting it for them...basically gay shit but she wont admit its done bc shes in love
meanwhile Lola is very oblivious to possibly even their own feelings but somehow manages to seep in plenty of compliments @ Shego while adding “no homo” on the end (but its very homo). tries not to bother her in physical ways like hugs n stuff but sometimes that breaks through
as for monkey fist...Medusa and him kinda get together without actually getting together. by that i mean both of them have woken up at least once in the night and asked the other if theyre dating and the other has been liek bro we’ve kissed. and the first one goes “LIKE PLATONICALLY??”
pretty much my ships r just dumbasses thnak u for sending this i hope ur well!!
#🎇🎆 Glow of Death (Shego)#🎇💣Glowstick Explosives (Ship)#🎈💣 Lola (Self Insert)#🐍🧹 Medusa (Self Insert)#🙈🐍 Ancient Artifacts (Ship)#🙈👊 Fun in a Barrel (Monkey Fist)#kermit.txt#luminaryblue
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maggie i’ve been trying to suss out the plot of ur bug lesbians for so long please tell me abt them. somehow it got into my head that they were?? like jaeger pilots? please confirm or deny
i can’t do a read more on mobile so i’m sorry in advance (coming back here after i’ve written this: it makes no sense. it’s all rambling. sorry. and i just put things everywhere randomly so this won’t even be typed chronologically)
yeah there’s giant fun robots! most of them are normal and fine but like a few of them are very fucked up
so there’s four pov characters and at the start of the story three of them are on the same ship and the fourth is the target they’re chasing? only one of them knows they even HAVE a target and is trying her best to stall because she and the target were roommates in fucked up robot catholic school. the other two are playing crazy 8s and being romantic and also terrified all the time but also doing a lot of theorizing about things because they know SOMETHING is up they just don’t know what’s going on. Bc you know. their commander won’t give them any information. and also avoids them because she hates narrative parallelism
also the one stalling is also having her blood drunk by her giant robot. and maybe being mildly possessed by it? so it’s maybe The most fucked up robot. it’s also a giant dog and a good boy. and an heirloom of a fucked up family. which may explain some stuff but honestly i think nisa’s mom was just a bitch and it didn’t have anything to do with the robot she’s just like that.
and she’s stalling bc she Knows she won’t turn perovskia in she knows she wouldn’t let her get hurt she Knows it’ll change her life forever if she finds her and she’s just not ready to face that. but yknow she has to so it was all just very silly of her but when something will change your life dramatically it’s terrifying even if you know that things currently Suck.
somewhere in here Arkansas’s family is threatened and it’s. upsetting. and i’m not sure what direction to go in with it but it will be important because her family means a Lot to her. she has two very good kind dads and a little sister named Tinsel. basically she has the only functional biological family out of all the characters and they make me :’) I also think they eventually meet Idabel and ADORE her and since she grew up without parents it’s just a very strange and emotional experience and. h. they r Wives. and the Trust family is all very sweet and kind even if Arkansas struggles a lot w gifted kid syndrome like i think her dads did their best even if they fucked up sometimes yknow. idabel goes fucking wild at the arcade like legitimately bloodthirsty and arkansas is just like i love my furious and powerful wife
anyway there’s some (a lot of) homoerotic space fighting (which perovskia usually wins BECAUSE she remembers when she and nisa used to spar and can predict what she’ll do. nisa ALSO remembers this bc. ofc she does. but perovskia had to learn how to adapt after Events bc her physical health changed a lot and she had to learn to be more careful about overexerting herself and also now knows how to swordfight. and moves more fluidly and confidently. so what nisa expects to happen often doesn’t bc perovskia’s fighting style has changed so much while nisa hasn’t really bothered to refine hers. anyway) perovskia (the gay little target that does a gay little crime and makes fun of you to piss you off) is like hey. what if you all committed treason it’s really fun and sexy. and then her adoptive mechanic mom gives everyone spinal surgery so their bodies don’t shut down and they won’t die :) that’s a thing by the way i won’t elaborate bc uhh :( but it is why perovskia has all the. nerve damage and chronic pain. i can elaborate on the actual Pre-story perovskia stuff later bc i think about it A Lot and it has a lot of bearing on her character but it’s also. before all this. but anyway if she hadn’t been bleeding out on Slice’s front lawn specifically she Would be dead. and there’s some fun narrative foil character shifts that happen four years before the main storyline but i will not say bc i’m tired
after this is Vague in my mind but a lot of it is Perovskia and Nisa reconnecting and just. talking. but being weird and repressed and deflective about anything Meaningful. And I have written a Lot about this so there’s more than I can condense but it’s very fucking good and. Idk. it’s a big shift in the narrative at this point and they’re just Agonizing about their dumb little feelings and it’s good. and P doing some work to make their giant fucking spaceship more stealthy. and Idabel and Arkansas being really cute and also going THROUGH it because i mean. a lot is happening. And it’s nothing either of them ever expected to happen but they’re like. hopeful for the future or whatever don’t look at me. It’s just like. put all of these characters on a spaceship in the middle of nowhere in transit and they all Have to have conversations even if they don’t want to because it’s HARD. nisa is forced by slice to learn how to make pancakes
Slice makes stew. They’re good at stew and contraptions and having a mild new england accent somehow. also canonically back in the scrapyard they would make things like the knife wielding tentacle constantly and perovskia would just stumble upon them. slice changed the live laugh love sign to say die cry hate because perovskia made fun of it. they r her mom.
so now they do some fun fun robberies and various crimes and it’s so sexy and i don’t think N and P are like. fully caught up at this point or know where they stand, so there’s a lot of very fun banter and having to work together despite really being afraid but also yearning to get to know each other again and just connect with one another honestly and openly after four fuckin years apart. because they’re both so different now but also very much the same. horse staring out into sea MAN. the thing is there’s no direct like. reason for them to avoid each other (at first P was shocked and overwhelmed and felt a little bit betrayed when she found out who was chasing her until she found out WHY. oh i forgot to mention Nisa BEGGED to be assigned commander for this mission bc she knew anyone else wouldn’t hesitate to get Perovskia killed. Forgot to mention that it’s IMPORTANT she fucking loves her so much god DAMMIT) but it’s just. tense and there’s a lot happening and it’s just. Ghhhdhbnm and ofc I and A have picked up on it since P showed up but it’s like. ok so what is Happening here. OH AND ONCE THEY START WORKING THINGS OUT IDABEL DOES START BEHAVING LIKE NISA’S SHITTY LITTLE SIBLING AND ACTING FUCKING DISGUSTED BY THEM ITS VERY FUNNY. they’re like perovskia you’re pretty cool what’s up with this. nisa sucks and also is a bitch. and perovskia says SHE CAN GET IT. and idabel says GET WHAT? BANNED FROM OLIVE GARDEN? and perovskia fans herself and is like yeah~ and idabel was just joking around but now is debating between mercilessly making fun of her and hitting her with a cricket bat. but god when P and N just get to hold each other in silence and security and just be. it’s . they. god. fuck. man.
oh i know this is a space story but perovskia just straight up has a sword (and some knives and maybe a gun idk) don’t ask me why idk but it’s very lesbian of her and she does gay little flourishes and is just. very annoying and i like her a lot. she’s very dramatic like her alias was madame revenant when she was living in the scrapyard and just doing some petty crimes like. she embroidered that jacket herself nobody calls her that she’s just a goofball. also warrior cats exist and she makes warrior cat fan animations. that just has to be true so warriors has been preserved for centuries. also she was presumed dead for a while uhh don’t think abt it too much but she likes that aesthetic.
Idabel takes the best to this new life of crime they are fucking FOR it she gets a FLAMETHROWER and Arkansas is like. wrow honestly my favorite thing abt them is that they’re both fucking INCREDIBLE pilots. like they know what they’re doing. and nisa is really really bad at it btw she cannot pilot a mech well. but this block of text isn’t about her i’m talking about THEM. Their chemistry is so good they r just. 🥺. and they both become Fast friends with perovskia because she’s just pretty likeable?? and ofc nisa’s jealous bc a) you guys don’t even like me :( but also b) that’s MY friend. it’s very funny. honey of course they didn’t like you you were being very unpleasant to be around. but arkansas does rlly wanna be friends with her and she and idabel have so much sibling energy it’s insane. i think they’d abel and cain each other for a scooby snack but also kill for each other. because they’re tiny girls who will growl at you solidarity and also probably hang out and just destroy things with bats sometimes. they all become closer and get a rlly sweet found family dynamic it just takes a While. oh also idabel is basically the chosen one and can set things on fire with her hands but it’s barely touched on because i think that’s a really funny thing to just ignore. but i also think it does become important because it’s largely fueled by anger and emotion and. h. i think idabel has a lot of feelings ok. Arkansas and Perovskia bond over having fucking anxiety disorders and have caprisun drinking competitions. i think it’s just like. these people all have similar trauma and need people to lean on when things are hard so they stick with each other once they have the option to split apart because by then they’re friends and work well together and Care. auto tuned baby crying mp3.
Alia and Agent Variety show up somewhere around here? They’re Slice’s very cool wives and Alia has a Vechicle Collection and own fucking stupid race cars and stuff and I love her. perovskia is afraid of being in vechiles so she has to take a fucking benadryl every time they have to make a getaway. Variety isn’t actually an Agent anymore and I also love HER because she’s very fucking good. they started out as just contacts slice had but it turns out they’re all in love <3 alia is also actually a sports car racer like. unprofessionally. illegally. which is just very cool of them.
Also i don’t think it has. a very BIG end, yknow? it’s like, they’re doing very good things and are up against a lot, and I don’t think they like.. singlehandedly take down the government or anything because they’re only a few people. but i think they get a happy ending and get to grow old while making positive changes to the world around them. like i don’t think they’ll be able to solve everything but they’re sure as hell gonna do what they can. But idk maybe they actually do get like. some good shit done. but again they’re not. an army. they’re a bunch of 20-somethings and their rube-goldberg-machine-creating chaperone. but i think they should get a fun climactic moment so i guess this is all to say i don’t. have an ending planned. but there should probably be one at some point.
OH AND the giant evil blood sucking dog vineyard vines robot Definitely almost kills Nisa (or at least fully destroys her in some way) and. it’s very narrowly avoided and she’s very very weak for a while because it took a lot out of her. also the dog robot does make grape vines grow and uhhhh any grapes that show up are 100% full of the pilot’s siphoned blood. also i think there’s still some remnants of that bitch in nisa’s mind afterwards bc an old mechanical god is hard to get rid of. but it’s mostly ok.
Also the bug people are just. a thing. like every person in the most recent generation in this specific society are at least a little bit genetically experimented on because. it sucks there. and i think if your parents bribe the government you can be a little Less fucked up but yknow. everyone’s a little weird. this was an excuse to put bug ppl in here they’re just the folks who were probably the most fucked with and i have many bug people here because i think bugs are cool and i want them to look like weird little bugs. This was all also an excuse to give the main characters fangs bc i’m gay. i don’t think randomly fucking with your genetics will make you a bug in real life so do not try this at home or at all PSA
SPEAKING of the society ok it’s very much obsessed with earth nostalgia and stuff and very yknow. basic cyperpunk shitty capitalism you know the drill you’ve seen space operas whatever but it’s also weirdly oligarchical? and like? it’s weird and bad and kind of a corporatocracy?? and. fuck. idk man they’re a fucked up space catgirl greeble-y amazon with catholic imagery. The Academy is also a thing but. idk how to describe it more than i already have it’s just kinda shitty boarding school. And after a certain point ppl can get sent on like. missions and stuff? in their fucking robots? but again i’m not sure what For. an option could be that there’s nearby Shit and nobody can tell if it’s safe because space is weird? also it’s only about 3200 so i’d say like. whole societies out in space is a relatively new thing and there’s some weird shit going on. so they sometimes send teenagers out in robots to see what’s up and that ends SUPER well for EVERYONE. hmm something SHOULD be going on actually there should be some weird eldritch space stuff. it should be connected to the more fucked up robots. it should also be Core’s fault somehow because uhhh capitalism and lack of foresight? anyway here’s women kissing i don’t know things. WAIT FUCK I FORGOT TO MENTION HOW SHADY SOME OF THE STUFF GOING ON IS LIKE THE DEATHS OF THE CREW PEROVSKIA WAS ON UHHH JUST TRUST ME DUDE like they are NOT afraid to get kids killed which was IMPLIED but also like it goes a little deeper than that and uhh i don’t know exactly what’s happening. but i’m sure it’ll all fall into place eventually. basically it’s very fatt shitty faction vibes idk how else to describe it. man it‘s like. just. there’s stuff happening they have goals and ideals and there’s probably more to it than i know so far bc stuff happens but i don’t KNOW what i’m tired and have been typing this for a year i don’t want to talk abt the bad capitalists i want to talk about tenderness and girls but unfortunately the ways in which the girls are tender are deeply informed by the environment they grew up in so i do have to think about it even if they all deserved better.
i think they all get a cat or a dog or something eventually. like they all deserve it. i think the final home they build together is actually pretty reminiscent of the scrapyard house. i think they get to live there for the rest of their lives and. just build something small and wonderful for themselves :’)
also i forgot to put men in the story they exist i just forgot about them. there’s nisa’s one ex i already forgot his name but he’s mentioned i think.
#IM SO SORRY FOR HOW INCOMPREHENSIBLE THIS IS I DONT HAVEA PLOT I HAVE CONCEPTS#ocs#long post#LONG FUCKING POST I CAN’T STRESS THIS ENOUGH#death ment#body horror cw#maybe#catholicism ment#again just to be safe#injury ment#possession tw
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i just watched the dallas theatre company les mis here are my observations
IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED THIS PRODUCTION I SUGGEST YOU DO! DON’T READ THIS IF YOU DON’T WANT SPOILERS THOUGH!
so, in case you didn’t know: in 2014, Dallas Theatre Company did a modern interpretation of les mis. i just watched it on youtube (i will link it later, i promise) and took SO MANY GODDAMN NOTES so here they are!
ACT ONE
(Look Down-WHID)
starting out strong! we got some HARSH TRUTHS ABOUT THE JAIL SYSTEM!! blatant police brutality happening BASICALLY the entire first part of the song. it hurts me.
note on the cops costumes: they legitimately terrify me and they are dressed in like. full riot gear.
okay so,,,valjean wraps the rope from his bag around his neck at the end of WHID. this is interesting bc, a) he’s trying to find a solution as to what he should do after the Bishop and that’s a direction I’ve surprisingly seen no one take, but b) this part has the same melody as javert’s suicide, when javert is ALSO trying to figure out what he should do after his perception on life is altered. for a moment there, they both are on the same page, the page being suicide. however, only one of them takes that choice.
the above makes the lines (in both songs) “i’ll escape now from that world / from the world of valjean” ESPECIALLY interesting because. in two different ways, they did escape, but they ALMOST had the same conclusion for a brief second.
(At The End Of The Day)
in ATEOTD fantine ends up being the last one working, causing everyone to look at her with varying degrees of annoyance or frustration. She do be hardworking doe
OH SHIT KIDS IN THE FACTORY!! three little kids run up to the foreman when he’s giving daily stipends to the ladies!! (they’re also the last to be paid, giving significant sass to foreman who also sasses back)
Girl #5 mockingly calling fantine “innocent sister” when 5 is white and fantine is a WOC...that’s kind of interesting given that that can be read as SERIOUS racial profiling on 5’s part
foreman looks like bob’s boss in the incredibles but like. tall lmao
(I Dreamed A Dream)
her look of like,,shock-but-not when everyone from the factory exits and she takes off her bandana,,,that. that is good acting
her transitions from chest to head voice are so good
i’m kinda sad she isn’t younger?? or just. doesn’t look super young bc fantine is supposed to be like. early twenties. she’s not 45 and had a decently long life before she died, no, she’s young. she was taken advantage of. that’s the whole point. but that’s sUPER little like this lady is way too good
she has the perfect mix of sadness and regret plus anger and shameless hope. like. kudos to you allison blackwell you’re a dope fantine
the cry on “killed the dream i dreamed” brb sobbing
(The Dock Scenes)
MALE PROSTITUTES I REPEAT!! MALE PROSTITUTES!! (no idea what wig he’s wearing tho. he was done dirty in the wig department)
oh male prostitute is prostitute #1!
oh damn there is. lady def on some bad drugs with her kid passing behind fantine on the bench. ouch.
hoo okay they did n o t censor lovely ladies!! (mini note: camera person has the camera down an AWFUL LOT on these docks scenes lmao)
there are cops on the docks. gross.
(Who Am I-Confrontation)
OH SHIT THEY HAVE A FALSE JVJ IN THE BACKGROUND OF WHO AM I
jvj comforts not-jvj for a second!! (money note was FANTASTIC btw)
fantine being WOC and DYING in a modern hospital also is,,yeesh because. you know. racist doctors.
jvj cries after fantine dies JUST STAB ME NOW OKAY—
confrontation is really funny when u see that javert has a GUN and jvj has A CHAIR
JVJ DID THE LIL RUN ON “live within my care” YAAAAY
(COAC-Master Of The House)
oh boy baby cosette,,so small,,so pure plus classic baby head shake when she sings I STAN
MADAME T LOOKS—OH GOOD GOD
DID SHE SPIT ON MY BABY--
cosette: “please do not send me out alone—“ madame t: “oooooh my gOOOOOD” omg
what the fuck is thenardiers hair i—
WHAT THE FUCK IS THENARDIER IN G E N E R A L
random idea regarding thenardier’s prison tattoo: he has the same number on his chest that jvj has. Meaning he was in jail too. so why isn’t he as messed up as jvj? i wanna say maybe he was in for less time, but like. I doubt it. However, he has a whole ass gang. did the thenardier gang break their boss out of jail? please say yes
him listing things for baby éponine to charge i love it
OH MY GOD THENARDIER FLAUNTS HIS NUMBER WHILE JVJ DOESNT!! jvj hides his past because he believes it will get him into better places (it does, he becomes mayor for god’s sake) while thenardier shows off his past with stubborn pride. while thenardier cheats his way to success, jvj lives an almost honest life where he ultimately suffers due to the stress all the hiding he does gives him
i love that éponine looks like neither of her parents,,,madame t got around huh?
(The Bargain)
I JUST REALIZED THE STAGE HAS A CATWALK DOWN THE CENTER INTO THE AUDIENCE THAT IS THE COOLEST OMG
Instead of madame correcting thenardier on cosette’s name he asks cosette herself which prompts the CUTEST ANGRY YELL OF “it’s cosette!” I HAVE EVER SEEN
also thenardier fuckin MANHANDLING cosette i’m DYING
JVJ LOVES HER SM I AM SOFTTT
(The Beggars)
omg marius is so ADORABLE i love him
gavroche is a style icon
kid holding sign saying “my mom got laid off” POOR BB
i love éponine
that’s it that’s the note
wait a sec was that montparnasse with the prostitute earlier in beggars??
ALSO I SEE AZELMA AND OTHER THENARDIER KIDS PRESENT FOR “turn on the tears!!” THANK YOU FOR UTILIZING THAT LINE PROPERLY
why does enj have a bat?? If it;s not a bat then,,,what is it? someone please help me
marius saves cosette from bad guy gang!! 🥰🥰
bruh javert misses jvj running by like,,,MAYBE two seconds that is hilarious
jav looks so done when thenardier is trying to get out of this lmao i love it
javert looks so cop-like it scares me
(Stars)
the line “safe behind bars” in stars kind of kills me here because as the audience you SEE the cruelty that the convicts face. you see the guy on the ground getting beaten you SEE the chains around their throats and yet. yet javert still somehow thinks that putting jvj in jail is safe? i think the thing to focus on here is not whether it’s safe, because it obviously isn’t. the focus is who it’s safer for, jean valjean or javert?
has it always been “your father” rather than “her father” when marius asks éponine to find where cosette lives?? if they changed it that is SMART because yk. jvj would be ALARMED if he found out he’d been found by éponine but he wouldn’t hurt her. he’s not the guy she has to worry about, it’s her own father. thenardier gave her a job and she’s straying from it, he’s what would endanger her.
THE PLAYFUL BOOP AND SHOVE FROM MARIUS 🥺🥺🥺
(The ABC Café)
“note-ruh daym”
hee hee pretty enjolras
pretty enjolras in skinny jeans even better
OOH we have,,,angry enjolras in this version o k a y
grantaire raises his hand before agog/aghast part omg
“i’ve never heard him ooOOOOh and aAAAAh *excited squeal*
“dan joo-wan” i love texas
bossuet spotted :)
longing gay looks NOT spotted :(
i love enjolras okay but this one is just,,,a little too aggressive. enjolras isn’t just angry all the time, he’s not that one dimensional. of course, there is more of the show to see and i hope he changes a little bit, but so far red and black isn’t doing much for me. enjolras is hopeful, not just angry.
A CAPELLA SECTION IN RED AND BLACK?? I think YES
the amis finding out lamarque is dead has “fuck trump just won the election” energy
okay i was hoping that enj would change his aggression thing when they find out lamarque is dead (bc that’s when most enjolrai figure out what may happen and kinda sober up yk) but. it doesn’t look like he did. there is hope for barricade scenes
OMG LIL NOTE ON COMBEFERRE GIVING OUT FLYERS TO AUDIENCE MEMBERS: that is fucking pERFECT and yk why?? because it’s a call to action!! it’s less obvious in DYHTPS because they’re mostly singing to each other but later in epilogue when the words and melody is repeated, it’s meant as a call to action! “will you join in our crusade, who will be strong and stand with me?” is a cALL TO ACTION AND THEY ARE HANDING FLYERS TO AUDIENCE MEMBERS—that’s officially the only way to break the fourth wall THANK YOU
hey fantine doubles as a student i think!!
HARMONIES ARE C L E A N OOOOH
(In My Life-Heart Full Of Love)
okay yes i already love cosette because she plays awkward-teen-in-love-for-the-first-time PERFECTLY.
book-ish cosette hell yes a cutie
father-daughter forehead kisses 🥺
awkward mARIUS TIMEEEEE
placing marius, éponine, and cosette in a triangle is a MARVELOUS decision thank u for that symbolism
marius checking if he looks good and ép giving him a thumbs up omg
*aggressively tries to sit normally* same cosette
*awkward curtsy* also same cosette
(Attack On Rue Plumet)
robbery time let’s see how they do this
ooh marius and cosette run off but i can’t tell if they notice gang before running
thenardier fuckin SLICES éponine after her scream
NOOOO HER LIL WHIMPER AFTER BEING THREATENED AGAIN
(One Day More)
this lil part between robbery and one day more is interesting bc i legit have NO idea what jvj is thinking here. he keeps looking between his watch (i think it’s a watch idk) and cosette after she runs off to pack so like. what. is he doing here bc he looks like he’s choosing between two things but i don’t,,know,,what things
red berets on the amis are dope btw
i think marius is discussing what to do with éponine here, which is FUN because we all know why she goes to the barricade in the brick :’) éponine might be convincing marius to go to the barricade knowing this is her chance to die with him like in the book
omg
OMG
OMG
that stomp bit with the students was the coolest fucking thing i’ve ever seen
END OF ACT ONE
act two will be posted shortly :D
#enjoy my super long analysis on WHID and Stars lmao#i went ham with the english brain#les mis#les miserables#dallas theater company#modern les mis#les amis de l'abc#les amis
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What are your top 5 notps
tHANK YOU for asking me I woke up this morning still kinda salty so like.
These are gonna be in no particular order btw so ye! Also Ma/bill and Mab/ifica aren’t gonna be included as I already talked about why I don’t like those ships and why are they are part of my ever-growing notp list.
1. D/rarry (Harry Potter)
Honestly? Just don’t like it. Like... that’s it. I like Dramione well enough, it was actually one of the first ships I started reading fanfiction for (as I just so happened to find a fic that sounded interesting that had it, read it, and was hooked) and I am a multi-shipper with certain characters, so by all means I should like d/rarry but I just don’t?
My theory for why I dislike this ship is easy: I find protag/antag ships kinda boring now after doing like. Everything with bill/dip. Don’t get me wrong, bill/dip and d/rarry are. Very different in numerous ways, but d/rarry reminds me of bill/dip and I already played and read about the dynamics of a protag/antag ship like this, so trying to get into d/rarry, which is similar, was boring for me.
Also, in general, I don’t ship Harry with anyone? Like I dislike h/inny too, but that’s more of “I don’t like it, but it’s canon, and I have to deal with it so might as well just Not Care” instead of outright hating it. And though I say I would’ve preferred Harry to end up with Hermione, I don’t ship those two together either!
The only ship with Harry I kinda sorta like is Harry/Luna and even then, I see them as being something really low-key. No sexual relationship, just them being good friends and being borderline, what they would consider “romantic” once in a blue moon. And that’s it?
Anyways, I find d/rarry boring and I feel like there isn’t anything new to the ship for me and shipping Harry w anyone sexually or in a heavily romantic way makes me kinda uncomfortable and I Don’t Like It so yeah.
2. Amenadiel/Linda (Lucifer)
God. Idk how many people who follow me watch Lucifer but this ship is. No. No? Nooooo?
They’re just. So awkward together. They’re kinda awkward together as friends but their awkward friendship is more kinda cute than anything. But together like... romantically? No? Pls no?
I also ship Linda with Maze like. A lot. A lot a lot. I ship Linda w Maze more than I do Chloe w Lucifer at least like. I am actively talking to the TV when I see Linda and Maze together to PLEASE KISS PLEASE YA’LL ARE SO GAY FOR EACH OTHER ITS OBV PLS KISS
Hasn’t happened yet but. But. It could happen. I am really hoping this ain’t q*eer/baiting tho. I r r r hope so. I mean. Maze and Lucifer are both confirmed to be bi/pan basically (tho Lucifer seems to have a pref for women) so there are technically lgbt+ characters in the show already but like. But. B u t.
Anyways. Luckily for me, it looks like Amenadiel/Linda won’t be canon at ALL and I really hope it stays that way and they stay kinda awkward friends. That’s cuter and a lot more interesting than shipping them together in my book.
3. Hermione/Snape (Harry Potter)
Is anyone surprised this is a ship, really? I mean if you’ve been on tumblr for any length of time you’re prob sayin’ nah. Thing is, I found about this ship years before I had a tumblr and on ffnet so I was kinda. Shocked? As I didn’t realize how. Weird ships could get.
And I can’t really say much about adult/minor ships or teacher/student whatever. I really can’t. But this is just so. Fucking random? Like. I guess bill/dip is random too.... but also i feel Hermione/Snape is even more so.
And idk most the fics I’ve seen of this ship is just standard student/teacher shit nothing all that. Interesting I guess to me? which is if you like standard student/teacher whatever I guess but that doesn’t cut it for me.
But again. Why? Is it because Hermione is muggle-born and Snape an ex-magical na//zi? That’s.... even I wouldn’t touch that can of worms Jesus Christ. Like. I don’t get it. I don’t get it, I don’t wanna get it, and I’m gonna continue disliking it from my own corner and mind my own business ‘cause I don’t even wanna know.
4. Kat/aang (Avatar: The Last Airbender)
Z/utara should’ve been canon
No really I grew up watching A/tla and like. It was my fav show and I. Really liked Katara and Zuko together esp as I only shipped canon ships at that time for the most part (or if I didn’t like it I’d just ignore it but not actively ship those characters with anyone else) as I was young and didn’t think you could. Ship two people who aren’t together in canon I guess.
But then. Kat/aang happened and I went “Wtf” and “that’s not right Zuko and Katara should’ve been together wtf wtf” I felt really cheated. And so Z/utara was the first technical non-canon ship I ever had.
Another reason I dislike kat/aang is that, for me, it felt forced, and the kat/anng episodes (like cave of two lovers or whatever its called) are just. Boring. And dumb. And not that good. I felt like they ended up together bc protagonist and deuteragonist not because I felt they went well together.
Idk! I felt like Aang and Katara had a more sibling relationship together! Like she was more of an older sister to Aang than anything else! And his crush on her was more like the young boy who has a crush on his older babysitter sorta thing but obv that would never go anywhere and it’d fade.
That’s the general vibe I got so when they got together I was. Kinda uncomfortable. Because I felt they had a sibling relationship. And I felt it kinda came out of left field, was forced, and just. Stereotypical? Boring?
I mean I still enjoy the show and it’s, again, kinda like a “well it’s canon so whatever” but I still dislike it a lot and still feel like z/utara should’ve been canon.
5. Ma/korra
I liked Korra well enough, but lets be real, the first season had some MAJOR issues trying to include a stupid love triangle like they were adapting some shitty YA novel. And even tho the second season was kinda blah as well, the third and fourth season made up for the previous two in my book.
But... ma/korra was just. A fucking mess. I hate this ship as I hate the things is stands for.
The girl hate between Korra and Asami, Korra being a fucking asshole to Bolin (WHO IS A SWEETIE PIE HOW COULD YOU) and just. Me sitting there. Going “Are we really doing this. Are we really. How could you write a series as amazing as a:tla and think that a short sequel series needed something as complex as a LOVE TRIANGLE.
(and yes: proper long triangles are very hard to pull off, very complex, could be a plot in itself, and that’s why most everything fails when incorporating one as a subplot lol)
When the love triangle popped up, I just. No. No. Mako isn’t a bad guy ‘cause he liked Asami instead of Korra. Asami isn’t a bad guy ‘cause she liked Mako back. And the narrative kinda painted both of them as being “bad” because... idk Korra didn’t get the guy? Like Christ. Please stop. Please stop characterizing Korra as a fucking asshole and some sort of girl version of a Nice Guy TM.
And though I think Korra and Mako did get some nice moments between each other once together, and though overall their relationship, on paper minus all the other shit wasn’t like. Pure garbage or anything, I def ship Korra with Asami a hell of a lot more. And the entire love triangle bullshit just. Ruined Mako and Korra, at least in my opinion. (Bolin and Asami came from that unscathed for me). It took me quite a while to start liking Mako again ‘cause of the love triangle and same with Korra.
So I guess for ma/korra it’s less the ship itself (tho imo the ship itself isn’t that special and kinda whatever) I hate the ship for what it did to the show and what it reminds me of. If that makes any sense.
THIS IS SUCH A LONG POST I’m sorry but. Yeah I was salty last night and had a LOT to say.
And I have more notps for sure but I have to... remember them. I tend to kinda forget my notps as well. I don’t like them. Why remember them?
Anyways, thanks for the ask!!
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Part 11 of The Sam Diaries
Read on Ao3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/10507836/chapters/27140973
20:47: Is this Eunoia?
20:47: Yes? Who are you?
20:48: It’s Neil Josten. I was trying to get hold of Sam’s number to tell him the police got a hold of the guy at the game but I couldn’t find it.
20:49: If u managed to get a hold of my mobile number in Greece I don’t think it was the police who took him away
21:01: Why doesn’t Sam have a phone?
21:05: He broke it last week and hasn’t replaced it yet
Also kinda still can’t believe I actually know u pls b nice I am too excited and tired for this conversation
21:05: How did he break it? And I don’t think I’ve ever been good at nice sorry
21:06: He dropped it on the floor
Apparently me in lingerie causes him to lose all motor functions
21:07: I didn’t need the extra info
21:07: Your fault for asking. Anywho, I’ll pass on the message. Thank you again for the game tickets and congrats on how well you played
21:09: Andrew’s probably bought those game tickets ten times over in ice cream by now
21:09: That is… Maybe a little bit true. I should probably give him discounts at this point
21:10: Do not it is hard enough keeping him to his diet schedule as it is
21:10: Rodger that.
21:11: Sam just asked me what I’m laughing at
He is shocked and appalled at the idea of a meal plan
21:15: Don’t ever let him meet Kevin Day. He loves meal plans more than he loves his wife
21:16: Poor wife
21:20: So apparently ur demi too?
Oh
Shit sorry Sam’s just told me not to mention it
I just haven’t met anyone irl other than Sam
Ignore it
21:30: It’s fine
21:45: So Sam’s demi and he was just born like that?
21:46: Yes?
21:47: And you’re not demi right?
21:47: Nah I’m just a boring heterosexual.
21:48: I didn’t know there was a word for it
I just thought I was different
21:49: Well u r but it’s not a bad thing. And it seems to be working for u guys fine!
21:50: Yeah. Thanks Eunoia.
10:52: Neil, I need to apologise
I never thought I was going to get answers as to what happened to my parents
And I definitely didn’t think the answers would be btw ur parents were spies
Like that’s not a reality I ever had to live in
Don’t get me wrong I’m 100% ready to stab ur uncle if he ever comes near me
But Sam’s convinced me I shouldn’t have taken that out on u it’s not ur fault
I’m sorry
11:10: Your parents were killed to save my life. I should be the one apologising. Are you ok?
Also do not attempt to stab my uncle you will be killed before you even met him
11:11: Calm down crazy. U didn’t kill them.
Sam's helping me through it. It's going to take a while to rewrite them in my head. I can't believe they lied to me for so many years. It's like, did I even know them? But the best thing for me is to get back to work doing what I love. And finish up wedding decisions as well :)
I figured that. My parents were the good guys tho right?
11:12: I might as well have
I'm glad you've got Sam.
All the members of the FBI I’ve met are pricks but they were on the right side of the law I suppose. And they got taken out because they were too good at their jobs
11:12: Pls pass Andrew ur phone
11:13: Ok…
11:14: What?
11:14: Pls get ur bf’s head out of his self-deprecating arse. Also how much ice-cream will it take to win u over? I have a lot
11:15: Unfortunately it’s been stuck there since he was born.
I’m sure we can come to an arrangement. Just how much of your ‘Death by Chocolate’ do you currently have stocked?
11:16: How big is ur fridge?
When Andrew had finally managed to coax a nervous and still visibly upset Neil out of the Maserati and into the shop (thankfully there didn’t seem to be any other customers in yet; Andrew had a feeling Neil would like this conversation even less in public), it’s to find Rosa deRosales behind the counter, not Eunoia. Rosa and Andrew stare at each other blankly.
“Oh yeah, Rosa, those famous Exy players I was talking about come in here all the time, I don’t really know why, but they’re pretty chill so don’t give them special treatment.” Eunoia’s voice calls from the back, getting steadily louder as she makes her way to the front. “Can you get the door for me babe?”
Rosa breaks eye-contact with Andrew to push the door to the back open and lets Eunoia, hidden behind a tower of white dopplers, into the front of the shop. She places them down on the counter carefully, having still not noticed Andrew and Neil.
Andrew takes a second to look her over. In all honesty, she looks like shit. She has bags under her eyes that speak of not just a bad night’s sleep but a truly horrific one, and she’s hobbling like she’s injured her feet in some way. Her hair, for the first time in their acquaintance, is tied back away from her face, and it makes her look serious in a way she rarely is. Her eyes are still slightly wild and more than a little haunted, but she’s calm in the way she unstacks the boxes and there’s nothing fake about her smile as she thanks Rosa.
“How long have you worked here?” Andrew says finally and Eunoia startles and looks at him in confusion.
“This is my first shift.” Rosa replies quietly, fidgeting with her apron. “I’m just helping out Eunoia while she gets some new staff, but I still fill her ‘fucked-up’ criteria.”
“You know each other?” Eunoia asks, gesturing between the two of them, giving a disapproving glance at her friend for calling herself and the other employees fucked up. Andrew shrugs.
“We were in the same foster home, but not at the same time.”
“Oh.” Eunoia says in surprise, and then she glances at Rosa and pales. “Oh.”
“Yeah.” Rosa replies, and Eunoia looks vaguely sick when she looks back at Andrew. Andrew quirks an eyebrow, feeling like he’d missed something.
“I’m guessing that’s why you were barely sober over November and December in Junior High.” Eunoia says quietly, still talking to Rosa but not taking her eyes off Andrew.
“I couldn’t believe he was really dead after I’d spent all of Freshman High hiding from him at your house.” Rosa agrees, just as softly. Neil and Andrew both stiffen.
“I suppose that makes Eunoia one of the ‘good friends who got you to the hospital in time’?” Andrew manages, eventually. Eunoia shakes her head.
“We didn’t go to the same university.”
“Not that that stopped her from flying halfway around the country to visit me in hospital in the middle of her exams.” Rosa smiles, poking her friend in the side.
“Way too many fucking coincidences.” Neil says, blinking at them all. Eunoia agrees with a laugh, and if it’s a little more hard-won than it usually is, that’s to be expected. They’re going to be ok.
"At least half of those better be mine." Andrew deadpans, pointing at the dopplers, when the feeling in the room gets a little to sappy for him to stomach, and this time when Eunoia laughs there's nothing hesitant about it at all.
“Andrew.” Kevin’s never been one for conventional greetings.
“Kevin.” Andrew replies, because neither has he.
“Are you free?” Andrew assumes he means to chat, and wonders when Thea had managed to persuade Kevin to be a little less brisk and demanding on the phone. He’s not entirely sure he likes it. He stretches out on their couch, secretly pleased with the fact that he’s short enough that his whole body fits on it lengthways with some wiggle room, and closes his eyes, listening to Neil switch on the coffee machine. Neil thinks that when the coffee machine is whirring Andrew can’t hear him singing along to the radio, and Andrew sees no reason to inform him of the truth, especially when after last week’s mess with Sam and Eunoia, Andrew was worried the singing wouldn’t come back for a while.
“From Neil? Unfortunately he’s still alive and annoying as ever.”
“Of time constraints you bastard.” Now there’s the Kevin he knows and- Knows. “I thought we could get lunch.”
“You live on the other side of the country.” Andrew deadpans, intrigued despite himself.
“And now I’m in your town.” Kevin says back with his usual stoic demeanour, no hint as to why he’s travelled hundreds of miles just to take Andrew out for lunch.
“What happened? Did you finally leave Muscles to do something about your Knox boner? Come to have a gay crisis with me?” Andrew can tell Kevin’s fuming through the phone, and Andrew knows the only reason he hasn’t exploded in rage is that he’s not sure what part of Andrew’s speech he’s most upset about.
“No.” Kevin grounds out, through gritted teeth. “I’ll meet you at that Italian place Neil took us to last time. Don’t bring him.” The line clicks dead before Andrew can ask what the fuck that’s supposed to mean.
“What the shit is going on, Day?” Andrew announces as he strides up to Kevin’s table, ignoring the waiter chasing after him about waiting to be served. Kevin flicks an apologetic look at the staff as Andrew sits across from him, who predictably all swoon over the handsome celebrity.
“I owe you.” Kevin says, uncomfortably. It’s the last thing Andrew ever expects him to say. Luckily Kevin is used to Andrew’s taciturn ways and keeps talking without being prompted. “I didn’t hold up my end of our deal.”
Andrew’s eyes narrow as Kevin clenches and unclenches his scarred hand. He doesn’t think the striker even knows he’s doing it.
“You don’t owe me anything.” Andrew says, eventually. Kevin frowns at him.
“I know it’s been ages but that doesn’t make it ok.” Kevin protests, and Andrew wants to snarl at his stupidly thick head. He hated dealing with people who didn’t understand him.
Which basically translated to he hated dealing with anyone who wasn’t Neil.
“I came up with that deal because I was desperate, and much as I meant to hold up my end of it, the way I went about it was all wrong. I built my entire life around Exy and I didn’t think for a moment that you couldn’t do the same. I knew for certain that Exy could be more to you if you just let it, and I was right, but it couldn’t be the be all end all for you.” Kevin trying to apologise is almost amusing enough for Andrew to want to continue the conversation; his face is contorted with the effort of saying the right words, and he’s still failing miserably. It’s quite possibly the first time Kevin’s tried to genuinely apologise in his life. Andrew’s fairly certain he practiced this little speech.
“You’re not listening Kevin. You don’t owe me anything.” Kevin blinks.
“I don’t understand.” Andrew rolls his eyes and looks out the window as he fidgets idly with the knife on the table in front of him. Unfortunately not sharp enough to cut the pest.
“You picked Neil.” Andrew’s hand tightens around the knife at his admission, and he watches as understanding dawns on Kevin’s face.
“Oh.”
“You’re paying for the food.” Andrew insists, not letting Kevin linger on the topic for any longer.
“We’re only here because it’s got some options with really rich carb intake.” Kevin says sternly. Andrew sometimes amuses himself thinking about Kevin’s face if he saw how loosely Andrew followed his meal plan. (And by loosely he means one night a week he eats whatever green vegetable-filled meal Neil forces down his throat, and only because Neil hates vegetables just as much and Andrew will one day capture on camera the face Neil makes around spinach.)
Andrew sends a text to Neil informing him that he’s leaving Neil for his bowl of pasta later on, and occasionally offers a comment on Kevin’s latest analysis of the upcoming season, admitting to himself quietly, with a little bloom of warmth he usually only feels around Neil, that it’s because he enjoys talking to Kevin.
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Yesterday me and @heiligelanze were bored so I made this trash complaining about P4. Don’t read if you like P4. Unless you are very chill about people hating on it.
we talk about why p4 is not good.
#1 - Boring characters
Yosuke: Wah wah small town is borin (why doesn't he just plan to move when he's older), also homophobic in way that suggests writers thought we were too. neck is too long. Also not closeted >:/
Yu Narukami: Stupid name, stupid design, stupid fuckin face, I hate him, no character arc or character at all, Gary Stu. Boring peice of shit. Also. Not GAY Enough >:/
Yukiko: Boring. Thinks she's trapped into being innkeeper when not at all. Never tells parents she doesn't want to or makes any attempt to change anything. Only other character trait is laughs (annoying)
Chie: Guyz I like kung fu n meat isnt that quirky, (bc apparently women don't like meat?????) also not gay or trans >:/
Kanji: Almost good. But misleads to think he is good representative media pushing artistic gay man strugling against stereotypes that gays rnt tough. Actually about gender roles but not well explored. Hinted to be bi at best. Atlus u fuckin cowards let me be gay for once >>>>>>>>>://////////////////
Rise: 2 kawaii. Gets annoying. Unwarranted, undeserved crush on main character you cant say no to. (But unlike p3 game doesn't make u with her but we will get to THAT LATER FUCKING P4G)
Naoto: Too good for game. Shoulda been trans tho.
Teddie: Remove or kill. Annoying af. Tries to steal ur girl. Major mysognist (game is like lol)
Mitsuo: Insulting to ugly people and to gamer fanbase
Moorako: Insulting to ugly people. Hahah who cares hes dead he was uggo lol
Hanako: Fat ppl r gross rite guys lollolollolllollolololollollololl haha she thinks she's atrratcievew lolololo fat pppl thinkin their hot lololololololo
Kashiwagi: She's old but busted except she looks 30 and treated as gross icky old woman when real teens would be like "I wanna bang dat shit on de desk"
Dojima: Ok I guess
Nanako: Emotional manipulation. doesn't die. unrealistically precious and mature.
Adachi: Presents as awkward relatable BUT NO ACTUALLY EVIL OVER THE TOP EVIL MUHAHAHA because he couldn't just be a cool guy with a darker side, had to be ANIME CRAZY EVIL DID IT FOR THE LULZ
Namatame: Not built up enough, comes fuckiin out of nowhere
Izanami: Comes even more da faq outta nowhere (GUYS THAT GAS STATION ATTENDENT SHAKING YOUR HAND OBVS EQUALS EVIL OR PLOT SIGNIFICANT LOL) also rips off Nyx and does it shitty
Ameno-Sagiri: Comes even MORE da faq outtta nowhere and vanishes da faq outta nowhere, also irrelevant to plot and meaningless distraction
Margret: Boring af, no personality at all, Elizabeth was more fun
Saki: Underdeveloped bitch, supposed to be so sad when dies despite not being shown for anythin but bitch also supposed to feel bad for yosuke when she dies even tho she hated him and he would have been rejected anyway seriously wtf
Marie: COMPLETELY IRREDEMABLE GARBAGE FIRE OF PANDERING TRASH. SHOEHORNED INTO PLOT WHEN COMPLETELY MEANINGLESS AND IRRELEVANT. GAME FORCES HER AS LOVE INTEREST WHEN SHE SOMEHOW MANAGES TO STEAL WORST GIRL FROM YUKIKO. ANNOYING TSUNDERE STEREOTYPE. MAKES ME WANT TO KILL SELF.
#2 - Shit plot
Boring af. Crappy tonal issues all the way thru. WAY TO SLICE OF LIFE WHO FUCKIN CARES.
HEY IM A TRANSFER STUDENT JUST LIKE LAST GAME LOL. Everyone loves me immediately even tho im a lil bitch.
Oh noes murder of some random chick we never met so sad ;~;
Meet Chie n Yukiko both boring af, immediately like me
Yosuke is trash can, Mitsuo is creppy and wierd b/c gamers r uggo and uggo ppl are socially inept and suck
Bitchy girl shows up and then dies
Yosuke does1n't get dick wet (he wouldn't anyways but still) so sad
See TV world, meet worst character in ORGINAL game (assult of bear puns)
fight dumb fuckin demon frog bc yosuke is bored (wtf is dis shit)
Chie is gay bUT NOT REALLY
Boss of dungeon is too hard, someone went missing or something idk who cares
Meet gay but nOT REALLY
Chases u bc u judge him but NOT REALLY
Gets kidnapped, gay dungeon bUT NOT REALLY actually about gender and cuz he likes cute stuff means he's gay STUPID but actually he's not because gays r icky lol
Campin time yaya the girls can't cook pffffft a WOMAN CANT COOK TF WOW WOW SO FUNNY A WOMAN CANT COOK WTF WHAT TEH FUCK and also HANAKO IS FAT AND That's' bad
HOMOPHOBIA TIME LOL KANJI IS GAY ARE YOSUKE AND YU SAFE IN A TENT WITH HIM? FIND OUT AT 11
Sexism next day when Yosuke is like I bought u girls sexy swimsuits and will now shame you to wear them ARENT I AN ENDEARING CHARACTER but no dicks are wet except with water (also vomit) including kanji lol abuse (also that could have seriously injured but never brought up BECAUSE ABUSE IS LOLOLOLOOLLOLLLOLLLLOLLLOLLLLLLLLOLLLL) Also game forced u/Yu to be sexist too fuck off game
Nanako is sad whatever who cares
Yosuke wants idol puss so yay idol but shes sad so we stalk guilible peepin tom who is the killer but NOT REALLY while adachi is quirky
Rise is sad that she doesnt know who she is or something fuckin idk STRIPPING TIME BOWCHICAWOWOW also teddie feels useless so everyone dies or smth
Teddie comes out of TV and is now human and annoying mother fucker, Rise is now not sad but KAWAII and Yosuke no longer wants idol puss idk but but IDOL PUSS WANTS BORING FUCKBOY YU DICK (not pandery at all, just your average sexy teen idol wants boring fuckboy)
Teacher is dead he was dick and uggo so who cares lol
Chase after uggo game lover nerd haha dungeon is nerdy game shit lol video games cause violence right guys? Didnt u know that video gamers are all ugly socially inept muderous pathetic freaks????? THATS U BTW UR UGGO INEPT MUDEROUS CREEPY LOSER FREAK LOL
Also rise cums when you kill enemies
Now murders are solved rite so lets have celebration!!!! Girls make omlettes but they CANT COOK LOL wasnt that so funny last time joke so nice they made it twice
Summer festival time Rise wants yu dick and Yosuke wants wet dick but teddie claims all three girls for himself and they go without protest despite not wanting to because they are STRONG FEMALE CHARACTERS WHO KNOW THEIR PLACE AND KNOW NOT TO BACKTALK THEIR MAN (isnt this game so progressive)
PERSONA 3 REFERENCES also underage drinking bUT NOT REALLY JUST SEXUAL HARASSMENT BECAUSE LOL also teddie stalks them lol also teacher books SEX HOTEL???? How wacky
You kno how muder was solved WELL NOT REALLY WHAT A SHOCK THE GAME HAD NO PLOT FOR LIKE TWO MONTHS anyways
Naoto is strong masculine manly mc man detective but gets kidnapped and is actuallY TRANS BUT NOT REALLY IS ACTUALLY JUST GIRL AND THINKS SHES CHILDISH OR SOMETHING but NOT REALLY ACTUALLY SHE’s JUST LONELY but not really idefk. Remember kiddies being different is okay!!! uwu (so long as you ARENT ACTUALLY DIFFERENT U FREAKOZOID kill urself)
Cultrue festival Rise wants u 2 do her in school halls balls deep but game doesn't let you????? lame 0/10
But then YOSUKE FORCES GIRLS INTO UNCOMFORTABLE beauty pagent that they cant back out of even if someone else signed them up under penalty of DEATH AND RAPE (I presume) because yosuke remains such an endearing character
BUT THEN girls get revenge by forcing him into drag contest and u and kanji too even tho it was only yosuke because the GIRLS ARE SUCH AMAZING FRIENDS
lol girls are objectified lol fatty thinks shes hot lolllollollooololooloololoollolololooll0lkooolloollololoololol (game designers had to stop in order to finish laughing at own jokes)
then drag contest ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww grosssssssssssssss icky teddie wins because................a dude? PASSING AS A WOMAN??????? Totes not transphobic vibes none at ALL
then HOT SPRINGS SLEEPOVER at inn because there is just SO MUCH MORE FUNNY TO BE HAD (isnt this all so relevant to plot and character??? rich narrative very necessary part of story, game would be UNSALVAGABLE without it)
Girls are bitches and think that guys are perving because hot springs doesn't tell them when it's time for girls to go? ?????? Great fuckin service amagi inn also why would the guys perv by just casually walking in??? Why why why why why qwhyw why why anyways they throw buckets at the guys and it's HILARIOUS and not at all uncomfortable, guys run away in terror and the girls are like YEAH GIRL POWER!!! Then they find out about mistake and apologize like good friends, people and normal humans would b/c even for pervin that was extra no just kidding LOL They actually keep it a secret becausE LOL GIRL POWER STRONG RELATABLE FEMALE CHARACTERS AMIRITE WHO HASNT ABUSED THEIR FRIENDS WITHOUT ANY FEELINGS OF REMORSE OR GUILT LOL (also nanako saw that all bad influence on child)
since the friendships are all so wholesome and not at all toxic or unhealthy the guys totally write this off and try to explain themselves to the girls. NO, actualyl, since Tedide and Yosuke are still such ENDEARING characters they instead decide to molest girls in sleep RELATABLE but uh oh they accidentally molest fatty and uggo old teacher who looks 30 and then fatty and teach are like cool let's fuck and like REAL TEENS they are grossed out at being offered sex because yuck women over 20 and fatty also why are fatty and "old" lady hangin out anyway?? Apparently if ur gross u hang out together, b/c that's how it works rite. such grea t non contrivences
Nanako is dying whatever who cares
Namatame then kidnapps nanako or somth who cares dojima dies but NOT REALLY
then they go to heaven because nanako is sad but nobody gave a shit narukami never cared to ask or try to keep her company isn't he just so GREAT and considerate to the girl being boderline abused and neglected in his own fuckin house no who cares BUT NOW WE CARE RIGHT GUYS
Namatame is cray cray and his boss design is uggo and bullshit
Nanako dies, Yosuke advocates MURDER because he is still SO ENDEARING and player has to chose EXACT FUCKIN DIOLOGUE WITH NOT ONE MISTAKE OR EVERYTHIGN SUCKS AND ITS ALL UR FAULT also in some endings you murder because fuck you
but then if u dont murder NANAKO WAS DEAD BUT NOT REALLY but only if u dont murder so congrats u were emotionally manipulated into killing the mentally ill b/c ur so great good job
then it turns out Namatame you know how he was cray cray well turns out he wANST REALLY CRAY he just had plot-convient-tempo-insanity-itius as the doctors call it then u talk to him and u know how he was the killer? Welll...NOT REALLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY he was actually good guy u almost killed innocent man fck u
then u have three chances to guess killer and only u can and if you dont get it in three guesses you get, as the doctors call it, plot-convient-stupid-cant-think-anymore-itius and thus you run out of time and nobody in the world can guess except you and even over the next three months nobody can guess because who cares I guess lol 2 ppl r dead
it turns out you know quirky relatable cop man well NOT FUCKIN REALLY he is actually crazy because he's bored and as everyone knows when youre bored you kill also he's sad that he doesn't have talent even tho he is sucessful detective???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? then god bullshit end of world or smth who cares
then everything is over also i forgot teddie disappears so sad but NOT REALLY
Christmas eve sex ( i banged rise on top of christmas cake)
Girls can now cook character development girls learned how to cook 10/10 v progressive
Then flash forward to three months later because fuck you and Yu is leavin because idk and the game ends BUT NOT REALLY ashkually you can get TRUE SUPER AWESOME ending if you are able to figure out that you have to go to junes for no reason except fuck you
turns out the gas station attendent u know him? well he was super bored and he's actually a GOD WOWZERS so amazing did you know jesus was a part timer at a gas station????? NO??? That's why youre playing this sack of shit
anyway humanity wants ignorance or so god says (sound familiar, Nyx??) and she almost wins BUT NOT REALLY Because yu has the power of frienship and you know that awesome scene of makoto fighting nyx? Well imagine thaT BUT SHIT b/c no buildup
for all ur xtra efforts u get teddie saying hearts are connected anime KH cliche (wasnt that so worth the extra bullshit dungeon)
Yu is leaving SO SAD WHAT ARE YOU CRYING ABOUT P3 WUSS CAST? Your friend is dead? GTFO with those 1st world problems NARUKAMI HAS TO TAKE THE TRAIN TO SEE HIS FRIENDS THIS IS THE TRUE TRAGIC DRAMA WHAT COULD BE WORSE
THE END
0/10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
#3 - ASSULT OF THE CASH COWS
so p4 is gr8 rite m8? well no but apparentlly dumb 14yr old boys were like "omg this game half akcnowleges gays exsist so PROGRESSIVE also i can fuck mai waifu n have friends" and so p4 made a shit ton of money
atlus saw dis money printin out and were like $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so dey were lyke "lets release a buncha shit”
Persona 4 The Animation: Imagine the same shitty p4 plot but with EVEN MORE HOMOPHOBIA!!!!! also racism!!!! plus MORE FAT JOKES!!!!!!!!!!! Hahahaahahahahah also the animation is piss poor shit!!! Doesn't this sound wonderful?????
Persona 4 Arena: So Atlus was lyke yannao wat totes goes with our super serious and super "mature" jrpg seriess? Do u kno? BLAZBLUE!!!!! The over the top weeb fighting game!!! YEah son!!!!! So anyways a fighting game comes out with barely any playable characters??????? Great. Fantastic not the least bit fanficy character writing. Also, there is a plot b/c dis shit be canon. Dats right!!! Now you may be thinking "mmmm how does that work????" well the geneiuses at atlus say "B/C SHITTY P3 RETCON CHARACTER IS SAD ABOUT DESTROYING FRINEDS WHOLE TV WORLD BECOMES ARENA WERE PEOPLE HAVE TO FIGHT FRIENDS" and u may hear that and wonder?? "what deh fuck, wasn't tv world gone also when did this ever happen in p4????" to which fanboys proply accuse u of hating fighting games and behead u.
So at this point in time, P4 is offically dead. It is dead as doornails. but atlus is lyke "Hey let's rape the corpse" and they release shitty remake on overpriced shit system nobody bought. You may be wondering "2012 didn't p4 only come out less than five years ago????" to which atlus says "shut the fuck up and give us money" hence P4 Golden
Persona 4 Golden: Added marie, inistant failure trashfire
BUT WAIT!!!! THERE IS SO MUCH MORE!!!!
Added events!!!
a) Yosuke wants dick wet and will cum if he feels boobs on his back!! So Yu and Yosuke team up to get shitty dumb ugly bikes b/c they're sooooo cooool rite mitsuru? You and ur dumb motorbike p4 is the real mature game. Anyway. Then they go hit on girls and yosuke gets one!!! YAY!! BUT OH NO!!! IT'S ACTUALLY STUPID FATSO STILL THINKIN SHE'S HOT WHEN SHE'S ACTUALLY STUPID BC SHE'S FAT!!! She then sits on yosuke's bike and it breaks because lol shes fat get it get it get it get it????? Doesn't this add so much to the story??? RICH NARATIVE RIGHT GUYS?!
b) BEACH TIME!!! Because that's where the real compelling drama is!!! Anyway they go to the beach and yuckerbears kanji is in a speedo!!! Gross!! I hope yosuke doesn't catch the gay!!! Then teddie tries to molest the girls bc he's such an endearing character lol then kanji's bathing suit falls off!!!! How did this happen u may ask?? ANIME MAGIC!! So then they dress kanji in seaweed like birth of venus and girls scream and run. the end.
c) Fireworks festival yay time ted-fiya so memorable. Yosuke wants to murder Teddie bc PORN so funny haha more fat jokes also teddie wants 2 bang nanako
d) Nanako is sad again whatever who cares
e) Halloween party!!! BUT NOT REALLY!!
f) SKIING TRIP!!!! YAY!!! P3 REFERENCES!!! YAY!!! Shiptease!!! Yay!!! Teddie steals food so Naoto advocates for his MURDER!!! YAY!! IF YOU DID MARIES SLINK YOU GET XTRA AWESOME DUNGEON!! ALSO IMPLIED RAPEY SEX IN THE SNOW BUT NOT REALLY!!! ANYWAY turns out that marie sucked up the ameno sagiri fog! What u thought it just went away on its own?? BULLSHIT!!!! Next you'll be questioning the ever so important role of NPC John Smith in creating Izanami's gas attendent disguise. Or NPC Billy Bob in giving Ameno Saigiri directions to the boss fight.
RIVETING DIOLAUGE LIKE "is this like the part in movies where the bad guys lair collapses??????" WORST GIRL IS DEAD BE SAD EVERYONE ELSE IS U MONSTER!!! BUT NOT REALLY!!! INSTEAD SHIP FUEL!!!! Also marie is polite for half second, AMAZES ENTIRE CAST GREAT WRITING!!!!!!!!! dont u love it when ur friends treat u like shit? then there’s a lovely scene where the dudes perv on the girls who are sexaulized and marie attacks them. Riveting. Then they all died and we were all happy.
g) New years eve. That is all. also new stupid persona evolutions that look stupid.
h) Valentine's DAY!!! I bang Rise on the da beach!!! Also if u slink with marie at all she forces you to cheat!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!
i) OH, NO! Yosuke is going to have to move maybe idk wasnt he supposed to want to move??? idk shut up. anyways. to keep yosuke miserable his friends have to become a band in TWO DAYS!!!! How will they ever do that??? well guess what with zero experience the entire group becomes master musicians in TWO DAYS!!!!!!! That's right, it's that easy!!!! U 2 can become as good as Green Day in two Days!!!! not that they ever play again lol or ever bring this up again lol. Then the dudes jump into the crowd and lol the crowd dodges thme aand nothing is accomplished.
j) New super awesome epilogue you only get if you slink marie even tho she isn’t there for 90% of it whatever the new designs suck
Anyway since the game isn't slice of life enough you can now bang rise in the movies and the hot springs also you can go out at night so exciting.
You can now force Naoto into sexy outfits against her will because isn’t it so cute when girls don’t like being objectified??? Also they molest her at the hot springs??? Also
So yeah P4G sucks ass. But ATLUS didn't stop there!!!! OH no! Atlus then went on to make Persone Q!!! They decided this time to drag innocent bystander P3 as well!!
Persona Q: some bullshit about a dying girl causes the P3 and P4 cast to meet in a wonderful culture festival crossover!! With lovely gameplay and no regression in character!! Chie always had nothing to her past loving meat right????? Also yu can fuck the dog from p3!! isnt this so believable and not the least bit stupid or contrived? isn't it?? Isn't it???????? Not much to say its just dumb
surely Atlus must be done now right?? RIGHT?? WRONG!!!!!!
Now you see since P4G came out, OBVIOUSLY the anime needs to be partially remade! You may be asking, isn't the anime less than TWO YEARS old at this point? Why remake it? Did golden really have such a different story? No.
P4 Golden Animation: Marie, marie, marie, marie, ten episodes of marie, never goes anywhere, confusing and boring af but look 16 yr olds in bikinis and nude and not totally shit animation so it's ok right? RIGHT? RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
P4 at this point has been raped to death all over again and the corpse is still being fucked and they won't just let it die. BUT NO!!!! Enter p4 arena ultimax!!
P4 Arena Ultimax: B/c the first was so great, they made another!! Game so nice they made it twice!! but now the dark hour from p3 is back because idk we ran out of ideas. Also junpei and koromaru and adachi great. But guess what!!!!!! AWESOME NEW CHARACTER!! His name is sho!! He is the secret son of dude from P3, how is this possible? fuck you. Anyway he is so tragic and sad he hates friendship!! awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!! :((((( But never fear!!! The p4 team will show sho the glory of frienship isnt this so interesting and original and great????
p4's violated, torn up corspe now has zero dignity left so atlus decided to reanimate the corpse with dead horse dildos and force it to dance
P4 DAN: Dancing. Shit dancing. Nobody knows how to dance. Remember how P4 used to be about murder and accepting uncomfortable truths???? Well now its about shittily animated dances. Isn't this so great? Guess what we lean about the characters? We learn that they can't fuckin dance and watching them is cringy af. Also now the tv world is a dance stage because the tv world just does whatever the fuck we want it to. what if a characters shadow is a rapist, would they be forced to rape?? is that how atlus would make a porn game?? if we wanted to make a chess game a famous chess player who feels forced to play chess will then make u forced to play chess.
.... so obivously, the P4 fandom realized that Atlus was raping their game and refused to buy it right?? RIGHT??? WRONG. They actually will castrate you with a rusty carving knife if you ever so much as imply P4 is a cash cow.
It totally is tho
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My Immortal: Beauty and the Beast Version Chapter 4
Chapter 4:
Summary:
Things get even stranger. (Warning: character death.)
.....................
Beasty Adam and I ran up the stairs looking for Clocksworth. We were so scared.
"Clocksworth! Clocksworth!" we both yelled. Clock came there.
"What is it that you want now you despicable snobs?" he asked angrily.
"Volsebeast has Gaston!" we shouted at the same time.
He laughed in an evil voice.
"No! Don't! We need to save Gaston!" we begged.
"No." he said meanly. "I don't give a darn what happens to Gaston. Not after how much he misbehaved in the castle especially with YOU LeFou." he said while he frowned looking at me. "Besides I never liked him much anyway." then he walked away. Beasty Adam started crying. "My Gaston!" he moaned. (AN: don't u fik gay guys r lik so hot!)
"It's okay!" I tried to tell him but that didn't stop him. He started to cry tears of blood. Then he had a brainstorm. "I had an idea!" he exclaimed.
"What?" I asked him.
"You'll see." He took out his wand and did a spell. Then... suddenly we were in Voldebreast's lair!
We ran in with our wands out just as we heard a croon voice say, "Avadre Q'uedarve!"
It was...Voldebeast!
WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY. VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISED.
We ran to where Volcebeast was. It turned out that Voldebeast wasn't there.
Instead it was...STANLEY!
Except only he wasn't a Prep anymoar! Stanley loved me so much he was trying to turn to the right side witch is da DARK SIDE. He called himself Stanley Snaketail.
He was dressed all Goffic with a black corset with laces and red lace and black leather miniskirt and black high heel boots. He still wore his hair like Jean Travolta and in those curls but he had pale white foundation and black lipstick and eyeliner and skull earrings and snake tattoos (probly fake) he got from Madame de Goffik Garderoble, dammit! POSER! I was so angrey!
And he was hurting my GASTON!
Gaston was there crying tears of blood! Stanly was torturing him! Beasty and I ran in front of Stanley Snaketail.
"Rid my sight you despicable preps!" he said as we started shooting him with the gun he Then suddenly he looked at me and he fell down with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes.
"." he said. (he is 4 years yunger than me so hes not a pedofile ok)
"Huh?" I asked. "Lefou I love you will you have sex with me?" asked Stanley Snaketail. I started laughing crudely.
"What the frck? You torture my bf and then you expect me to fck you? Mon Dieu you're so fcked up you fcking bastard."
Then I looked up and saw...A FULL MOON.
That means it was tim fro me to transform! I transformd into a 5 foot 5 inch tall Werewolf with sparkling sharp fangz. Then with no self control and my conshence suppressed by my evil Werewolf mode, I jumped on Stanley Snaketail and bit him in the heart. Blood pored out of it like a fountain.
"Noooooooo!" he screamed. He started screaming and running around. Then he fell down and died.
Then I transformed back into my human self and saw that I murdered Stanley Snaketail. The full moon was hid behind clouds now. I brust into tears sadly.
{You see, even tho Stanley used to be a fckn prep, I still was attracted to him and liked him kinda. I even tolerated wen he played awful prep music on the radio back in Villaineuve in the tavern. Like Maroon Cinq, Bruno DeMars, Meghan LeTrainor, and especially the Grease soundtrack which he always sung.}
But I had to choose between him and Gaston. I still wanted to cry depressed tears tho.
"Stanley Snaketail what art thou doing?" called Voldebeast. Then... he started coming! We could hear his high heels clacking to us. So we got on our candlesticks and flew back to Beasty's castle. We went to my room. Beasty went away. There I started crying.
"What's wrong, honey?" asked Gaston taking off his clothes so we could screw. He had a sex-pack (geddit cause he's so sexah) and a really huge you-know-what and everything.
"It's so unfair!" I yielded. "Why can't I just be ugly or plain like all da other boys and girls and preps here except for B'loddy Belle and Beasty, they're not ugly or anything."
{The Real Author's Note: WTF does this have to do with the fact he just murdered someone? It is so hard to keep to the script. Crying tearz of blood. Please flam dis so that I don't have to continue warping my favorite Disney characters.}
"Why would you wanna be ugly? I don't like the preps anyway. They are such fcking sluts." answered Gaston.
"Yeah but everyone who is Ghey or Bye is in love with me! Like Clock and Loomiere took a video of me naked. Chapueau says he's in love with me. Beasty likes me and even Stanley Snaketail was in love with me and I murdered him! I just wanna be with you ok Gaston! Why couldn't Seten make me less beautiful?" I shouted angrily.
(an don't wory lefou isn't a snob or anyfing but a lot of ppl have told him he's pretty and cute. Even tho he's a little over weight he ain't no size 2 but he can shake it-shake it like that preppy bimbette Meghan LeTrainor sing.)
"Im good at too many things! WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT'S A FRAKING CURSE!" I shouted and then I ran away.
{REAL Author again: Don't worry, LeFou. If 'Seten' won't make you unattractive, the 1991 Walt Disney Animation Studios will. ;) }
AN: stup flaming ok! btw u suk frum no on evry tm sum1 flams me im gonna slit mah ristsz! fangs 2 raven 4 hlpein!
"LeFou! LeFou!" shouted Gaston sadly. "No, please come back!"
But I was too mad.
"Whatever! Now you can go an have sex with Beasty!" I shouted. I stormed into my room and closed my black door with my blood-red key. It had a picture of M'arilyn L'Maison on it. He looked so sexy in a way that reminded me of Gaston and Beastly. I started to cry and weep. I took a razor and started to slit my wrists. I drank the blood all depressed. (sorry Real Author.) Then I looked at my GC watch and noticed it was time to go to B'loody Belle's Reading class.
I put on a short ripped black gothic vest that said Le Anarchy on the front in blood red letters and was all ripped and had a spiky belt. Below that I put on ripped black fishnets and boots that said Gaston all over them in blood red letters. No pants just fishnets. I put my ebony black hair out. Anyway I went downstairs to the big Library feeling all sad and depressed as usual. I did some advanced Steakspear literary work (cuz I am no longer illeterate fangz to B'loody Belle) I doodled pictures with gothic ink on my parchment. I was turning a bloody pentagram into a black guitar. Suddenly the guitar turned into Gaston!
"LeFou I love you!" he shouted sadly. "I don't care what those preps and posers fink. U da most beautiful Ghey boy in da Disney Worl. Before I met you I wanted to commit suicide all the time. Now I just wanna be with you all the fcking time. I fcking love you." Then... he started to sing "Da Chronicles of La Vie et Mort" (we considered it our song cuz we fell in love when Jacques was singing it) right in front of the entire Library! His singing voice was so amazing and gothic and sexxy like a cross between Gerard, Jacques, Chester, Pierre, M'arilyn L'Maison, and specially Luke Evans (AN: don u fink dos guyz r so hot. If u dnot no who dey r thn get da fk out od hr!)
"OMFG!" I said after he was finished. Some frcking preps in the Library stared at us but I just stuck up my middle fingers (that were covered in black nail polish and were entwined with Gaston's now) at them. And I yelled "IT'S NEVER GONNA HAPPEN U FRKING POSERS!" so loud that the top books from the 300th shelf of the Library fell down.
Plumette that feather lady screamed. Her bf Loomiere (always a perv) laughed in the French way like 'hon hon hon!' and Plumette slapped him with her feather. They are preps but I tink they can be converted someday specially Plumette if she change her white feathers to black like Raven.
Anyway, Gaston.
"I love you" I said and then we started to kiss just like Hillary Derriere (I fkn h8 dat bich) and CML in a Cinderella Story. Then we went away holding hands. Loomiere shouted 'hon hon hon' at us and everyone was clapping because how sexy we looked 2gether. Then I saw a poster saying that MCL would have a concert in Porcs-Hydromel right then. We looked at each other all shocked and then we went 2gether.
#gafou#gafou au#gafou trash#parody fic#my immortal#not sure if i want to continue because it gets stupider and i cant fit batb characters into it in a logical way at all
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Our Summers Together Are My Best Kept Secrets And My Biggest Mistakes // Chapter Three
Ships: Peterick, Brallon, Ferard, Trohley, Jalex, Zian and others in the background
Description: Summers for most kids are spent going to the beach and on vacations with your family but lots are shipped off to summer camps for the whole summer.
But the kids at Hempman Summer Camp actually beg to go!
Patrick Stump, Andy Hurley and Joe Trohman all met there, they had all known each other for probably over a decade because of this absolutely amazing stay-away camp for kids from the ages of six to nineteen.
All the kids that were there came back until they couldn't and they always had the same kids except a few new, younger, kids every year.
That is until the year that the weird kid with the jet-black, dyed, black fringe and the crazy piercings and a couple tattoos comes in like he owns the place.
That year also happens to be the same year that Patrick Stump gets gum stuck to the new emo kid's face and hair.
It was love at first sight... But hate at first interaction for the blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy and the complete opposite for the new kid, Pete Wentz.
Chapter 3: Three: I Have a Forehead Texting Me and He's Kind of Cute?
Dallon
I lay sprawled out across my bed, I don’t know why I can’t sleep but I’m just wired. Probably just too much coffee? I’m scrolling through my phone while Spencer, Jon and Ryan all slept.
My phone dings with a new message and I check the notification.
New message from: Retrieving…
I tap it and Kik opens.
I have one new message from someone by the name of BeeboBreadbin . What the fuck? I’m intrigued.
BeeboBreadbin: What’s your favorite animal and why?
Who the fuck is this dude? And is he okay?
Dal-Do: What is this? School??
Dal-Do: The flamingo cause it’s gay I guess?
This person has my full attention and I know I’m not getting any sleep tonight.
BeeboBreadbin: Wtf??? Is your user a fucking play on the word dildo??
BeeboBreadbin: Kinky
Dal-Do: I know I am thanks
Dal-Do: How’d you get my kik?
Dal-Do: I’m is confuse
BeeboBreadbin: Nice Engli dude
BeeboBreadbin: It was on tumblr and I’m bored
BeeboBreadbin: Or should I say
BeeboBreadbin: I’m is bored
Dal-Do: Fuk off
Dal-Do: You just want this dick
BeeboBreadbin: I’m not against it
BeeboBreadbin: WHat do you look like btw?
I contemplate showing this random guy that literally found my account on Tumblr, of all places, what I look like. I mean it couldn’t hurt really to just show him what I look like, but I mean... I don’t even know what I mean. I’m too tired to think.
Dal-Do: /Image Attached/
Dal-Do: Sorry, I was really drunk in this pic but like thats the most recent I have of just myself and it’s too dark for a good one.
BeeboBreadbin: Def want that dick fmu
BeeboBreadbin: Like you’re hot as fuck help
BeeboBreadbin: /Image Attached/
BeeboBreadbin: Teach me ur wayz plz
BeeboBreadbin: *Cries*
Dal-Do: Wtf??? You’re so hot??? I’m??? Sobbing????
Dal-Do: Pls don’t show me ur god face anymore
Dal-Do: So sexi
Dal-Do: I met you like ten mins ago… I need to chill
Dal-Do: My gay just couldn’t help but slip out
BeeboBreadbin: Pls slip ur gay into my ass
BeeboBreadbin: I need help
BeeboBreadbin: Gonna go drink bleach brb
BeeboBreadbin: Gotta go drwon the cringe
BeeboBreadbin: Drown*
Dal-Do: My name’s Dallon btw
Dal-Do: I realized that rn my name is dildo and I don’t want ur hotness to think I’m a dildo
BeeboBreadbin: I’m Brendon
BeeboBreadbin: Not Brandon
BeeboBreadbin: Call me Brandon and I’ll fucking cut you
BeeboBreadbin: /Image Attached/
BeeboBreadbin: See
Dal-Do: Yes, I am so scared of a forehead with a knife, /Brandon/
BeeboBreadbin: I’LL CUT YOU!
Dal-Do: Sure you will
Dal-Do: If anything you’ll want my gay inside u
BeeboBreadbin: You right
BeeboBreadbin: I’m always a slut for a walking dildo
Dal-Do: I’m always a slut for a walking forehead
BeeboBreadbin: Bitch.
Damnit, this kid is actually really funny and he’s pretty fucking hot if I do say so myself. Even with a forehead bigger than his shitty bowl-cut, he was pretty fucking cute. Shit, what was I even thinking? I just met this kid.
Patrick
I felt bad, I was basically using Pete but even for someone as sloppy as him, he was really a fun person to have as a fuck buddy. He was hot as hell, rough, kinky and there were no strings attached! Perfect.
I know it’s fucked up but I’m not out and I’m the biggest commitment phobe on the planet. Yes, I understand that I’m problematic.
For once, I’m the first one awake. It’s only about six in the morning but I was wide awake. Pete squirms in his sleep, mumbling something. He talked in his sleep a lot, most of it was just incoherent mumbles and others were clear, mostly him muttering something to his mother or a friend.
I’m on my phone, checking all my notifications and such, texting some friends and writing down some lyrics.
“Patrick.” I hear and nearly jump out of my skin, I turn to find Pete sound asleep in the nearby bed.
“Yeah?” I raise my brow.
“Lay with me.” He murmurs sleepily.
“Um, What?” I choke in utter shock, this was probably the most crazy thing he’d said.
“Please, baby?” I feel the same itch that runs through my body when I’m in a relationship and begin to get jittery, needing to get out.
“Uh, I-I’m… P-Pete? I’m- er, uh, not…” I stammer out anxiously.
His words come out incoherent now and I know I can’t keep doing this anymore…
Pete
I am falling madly in love with Patrick Stump.
This is so bad.
I knew that Patrick won’t ever love me he’s not like that. He tells me all the time, he’s not the ‘forever with you’ type, he’s the ‘hump and dump’ type. It baffles me.
He’s so careful with everybody and everything, not wanting to upset anyone and yet this little ball of happiness is the biggest fucking slut on the face of the earth.
Damn, I want to hate him.
But, who could hate Patrick Stump .
Alex
The room was dim, light seeping in through the old smashed windows and the cracks in the old chipped wood of the abandoned wooden cabin Some light also poured in through the cracks and holes in the ceiling. The cabin was old, rotten, gross and falling to pieces but it was ours . And that’s all that mattered.
Hs fingers run through my somewhat long hair, his forehead pushed firmly to mine, the tips of our noses brushing. Our legs were tangled around each other as we sat across from each other on the ground.
“Lex?” I can feel his warm breath caress my lips.
“Yes, boo?” I coo back softly.
“So, um… What…” He pauses, pulling his head back from mine, “What are we?”
“Alive.” I reply with a coy smile, leaning in to kiss him again but he moves back, detangling himself from me. He seems frustrated by my reply.
“You know what I mean, Alex.” He grumbles, using my full name.
“I don’t know? We’re just friends that are like… More than friends but… Less than lovers… You know?” I let out a shaky breath and an awkward frown.
“No, Alex.” He huffs, “I don’t know.” He stands and starts to pace, “We’re either dating or somebody's being used.”
“It’s not like that! I just don’t want labels and people like, knowing! I like our secret , Jack. I love this .” I frown sadly.
“I don’t ‘ love this ’. I want to hold your hand, kiss you, touch you, love you, wherever and whenever I can. I want to scream my love from the rooftops because, I love you, Alex . You never say it back but I’m fucking madly in love with you and you know it, Alex.” Jack tosses his hands in the air, “I don’t want to be a dirty little secret anymore, Alexander.” I wince at him using my full-on first name.
I let out a soft sigh, “I’m not ready for that… I like how we already are…” My voice cracks with desperation.
“I’m not doing this anymore.” He shakes his head and I feel my heart start to sink, “I’m done… I want to be something that you're proud to call yours.”
I swallow hard, “Wha-... What are you trying to say, Jacky…?” I’m trembling.
“We’re done. This… Is done.” He looks me dead in the eyes as he shoots his words like daggers into me. I let out a sob and then I can’t stop, shaking violently and bawling my eyes out. Jack shakes his head at my tears, turning to leave.
“I love you, Jack!” The words I’d neglected to say for so long finally spilled from me, my voice leaking emotion that spilled over the room.
“Well, you’re too late.”
And he’s gone.
Dallon
I’d been talking with Brendon for about two, almost three, weeks but I already knew this kid was something special. All of my friends were extremely concerned with how attached to this random stranger I’ve become.
BeeboBreadbin: Dallon
BeeboBreadbin: Dal
BeeboBreadbin: Dal-Do
BeeboBreadbin: Yo!!! Dildo!!! Fucking reply damnit!!!!!!!
BeeboBreadbin: The forehead is gonna come stab ya ass
BeeboBreadbin: (With this dick!!!!)
Dal-Do: Pls do
BeeboBreadbin: Dildo! You’re back!!
Dal-Do: And gayer than ever!! ;)
BeeboBreadbin: Fuckin’ gayyy
Dal-Do: You know it
BeeboBreadbin: Wanna see my new room decoration?? (It not for indended use btw)
Dal-Do: Yus, send (n00ds) pls
BeeboBreadbin: Those come later
BeeboBreadbin: /Image Attached/
Dal-Do: IS THAT A /GLASS/ FUCKING DILDO!!!???
BeeboBreadbin: Yee! (Not for anal use I swear)
BeeboBreadbin: I named it Dallon <3
Dal-Do: What an honor it is to be shoved up your ass, /Brandon/
BeeboBreadbin: >:(
BeeboBreadbin: It’s decoration
BeeboBreadbin: /Image Attached/
BeeboBreadbin: On tha Pianooo
Dal-Do: Urielectric?
BeeboBreadbin: ???
BeeboBreadbin: O shit that thing
BeeboBreadbin: I do the musics and that’s what my studio (aka my friend’s basement) is called.
Dal-Do: You don’t live with your fam?
BeeboBreadbin: Nah, they kicked me out cause I’m a bi atheist
Dal-Do: A Gaytheist?
BeeboBreadbin: Y
BeeboBreadbin: E
BeeboBreadbin: S
Dal-Do: Relatable
BeeboBreadbin: /Image Attached/
Dal-Do: WHaT ArE U doInG WIth uR LEg!?!?!!????!!!
Dal-Do: Are those leather pants!???!!!
Dal-Do: You fuckin’ SL00TE!!
Dal-Do: ANd ThoSE BOOtS??!!
Dal-Do: ARE YOU A FUCKING STRIPPER??!!!???!!
BeeboBreadbin: Only for u, boo ;)
Dal-Do: That’s gay
BeeboBreadbin: Yep, That’s me
Dal-Do: THAT’S SO RAVEN!!!!!!
BeeboBreadbin: Bitch you cheating on me with Raven Simone
Dal-Do: We ain’t even dating tf?
BeeboBreadbin: Damnit
BeeboBreadbin: My Plot
BeeboBreadbin: FOILED!
BeeboBreadbin: *Sobbing*
Dal-Do: That was fucking lammmmeeeeee!
BeeboBreadbin: Just like you
Dal-Do: /Image Attached/
Dal-Do: Gon fite u
BeeboBreadbin: Ooo!! Sweati and Sexi!!!
Dal-Do: Damn right hoe
Dal-Do: You better fucking enjoy that pic!!
Dal-Do: Everybody thinks I’m a psycho from running around first to get all sweaty and then taking fucking weird ass pics of myself while running.
BeeboBreadbin: That’s hawwttt!!!
BeeboBreadbin: I’d lick you, bro (Full Homo)
Dal-Do: Wtf??? Lmao, you’re fucked up
BeeboBreadbin: You rite
BeeboBreadbin: I is
BeeboBreadbin: Fuck I gtg, ttyl
Dal-Do: Awe ;,( come back soon
I frown and toss my phone to the side. May as well go see what everybody else is doing for once.
Chapter Masterlist ~
Previous -
One - The Gum Habit Gone Bad
Two - On the Rooftop with You
Next -
Four - Memories I Keep Locked Away for Times Like This
#wattpad#peterick#pete wentz#patrick stump#panic! at the disco#Panic!#P!ATD#Jalex#fanfic#atl#all time low#jack barakat#alex gaskarth#jalex fanfic#random#au#archive of our own#author#gay#fall out boy#fall out boy fanfic#Brallon#ferard#my chemical romance#mcr#mcr fic#my chemical romance fanfic#fanfiction#zian#trohley
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-- choriocytosicInquisitor [CI] began pestering biotechnicZeal [BZ] at 15:03 --
CI: C!TR!N, MY LOVE.
CI: H!.
BZ: OH ZHIT IT'Z DAT BOI.
BZ: what'z up??
CI: WHADDUP !S... me wonder!ng when you w!ll be v!s!t!ng Lauct!s? >80
CI: W!ll that be soon?
BZ: YEAH, ACTUALLY. i've been packing my zhit.
BZ: i juzt had to make a few arrangementz firzt...
BZ: lmao it'z weird being productive.
CI: !t's not we!rd. !t's good ?or you! And there?ore, TERR!BLE ?or th!ngs !? you mean ?or them to be ?un.
CI: ! m!ss you. 8(
BZ: i mizz you too. B(
BZ: IT BLOWZ... but at leazt i'm keeping myzelf buzy at leazt.
BZ: alzo... zoon... ZOON.
CI: HOW SOON. ! can come see you R!GHT NOW.
CI: !? you tell me where you are.
CI: !'ll go ?!nd you!
BZ: OH FUCK.
BZ: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
BZ: in that caze i'm at my dadz' houze.
CI: Your dads' house????? BUT HOW CAN ! RAV!SH YOU W!TH SMOOCHES !? !'M AWARE YOUR DADS ARE HOME!!!!
BZ: plz.... they're probably too buzy zmooching each other or zomething.
CI: Strangely enough, that doesn't make me ?eel better about the arrangement.
BZ: LMAO i know it'z grozz.
BZ: but ztill.
CI: Okay.
CI: ! w!ll now proceed to vo!ce my compla!nts !n success!on.
CI: Aaa.
CI: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
BZ: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!
CI: WHY MUST EVERYTH!NG BE D!??!CULT!
CI: ?!ne. !'m go!ng over anyway.
BZ: u fuckin' better.
BZ: >8P
CI: PREPARE YOUR PER?ECT BUTT, MR. STR!DER.
BZ: IT'Z READY.
CI: THAT D!DN'T TAKE LONG AT ALL! !'M SHOCKED.
BZ: that'z my butt'z zecret, ruleuz...
BZ: it'z alwayz ready.
CI: 8)
CI: !'M ON MY WAY.
BZ: B)
BZ: ZEE YA.
CI: *Perhaps close to a whole hour later, Ruleus is STORMING into the Casa de Strider English Captor and bullying J Dad awake from his nap. WASSALLA HULLABALO? It's Ruleus in the main living area.*
BZ: *citrin floats in when he hears a whole lot of hollering, which isn't unusual, but there's the distinct sound of RULEUS HOLLERING so he's here.* RULEZ ZTOP HAZZLING MY DAD GOZH!!
CI: *Here he is, the tall lanky fish caveman spongebob meming at Citrin.* CITRIN!!!
CI: JAKE: *still blinking heavily and sleepily, half waving an actual pistol around* Hoh rascals... you boys. You know better than to-- *mumble mumble, he's getting comfy back into the couch.* Take it to your room fellazzz.... zzzz
BZ: *snorts at ruleus and jake... they're both dorks... but here comes the peach, rocketing himself in ruleus' direction so he can cling to him.* eheheheheh!
BZ: you heard the man, let'z zplit.
CI: *HUP, naturally ends up carrying Citrin up in his arms.* GLUB. RIGHT! As you wish!!!! *scurries out of there, peach in tow.* Sorry Mr. English!
CI: JAKE: *snorts and waves his hand. Get on out you crazy kids.*
BZ: eheheheh... *buzzes all the way to his room, and once they're out of sight down the hall, he's covering ruleus in smooches.*
CI: Pfft prfbthth, that TICKLES. *scolds him, but not before ducking right into his room first. Stops dead in his tracks.* Wait.
CI: This is YOUR room, right?
BZ: LOL. well if u don't hear zim, dru or vic zcreaming then i think we're good. *looks over his shoulder*
BZ: YEAH WE'RE GOOD.
CI: OKAY. *launches Citrin onto his bed.* BYE.
BZ: WEEEEE. *there he goes. he lands and bounces gleefully. BUMBLES BOUNCE.* eheheheh.
BZ: *curls finger at him after posing seductively.*
BZ: /come hither./
CI: *launches for the bed, flailing his limbs. SCREAM. Casually drops on Citrin.*
BZ: DOOF.
BZ: *clings to him and ROLLS.*
CI: >8) *He is FEARSOME AND LARGE and not at all twiggy. There they go, rollin like a tumbleweed.* Ahhhhhhhh, I've missed you sweet peach.
CI: Even a finful of weeks is TOO MUCH.
BZ: ENOUGH IZ TOO MUCH. *giggling against his fins as they roll.*
BZ: pretty zoon we'll be in the zame place though... PERMANENT LIKE.
BZ: i'm gonna hit up nannerz later zo we can zcope out placez to live. oh zhit. *sits up while he's on top of ruleus.* BTW...
BZ: dadz cubed hooked up at the zkaianet branch on lauctiz in the bioengineering department!! >80 juzt an internzhip for now but ye.
CI: An internship??? *his fins perk until he's grinning wide. Yessss, Citrin perched on top of him was the best view. But Ruleus has to roll up to sit and scoop him in another hug.* THAT'S SUCH GREAT GLUBBING NEWS, CITRIN. I KNEW YOU WOULD NEVER HAVE TOO MUCH TROUBLE!!!!
CI: Will you be needing help searching for a place to live? Should I come with you and Ananya?
BZ: eheheh... *flushes a nice shade of peach, leaning into the embrace.* ummm.
BZ: the more the merrier tbh...
BZ: PLUZ it'll be your place too, zo??
BZ: bazically tho idk what the fuck i'm doing.
CI: Neither do I??? *content enough to let Citrin sit on his lap, hugging on him.* But HMMM. Yes. I think I will have to discuss this with Sileas.
CI: I'm not shore what plans he has EXACTLY. But it's a shame we can't all LIVE TOGETHER. It seems ridiculous that we can't. 8/
BZ: lol... yeah... it'z a real zhame...
CI: *tilts head at him* What would your preferences be?
BZ: *shrugs* nothing zuper FANCY... i'm pretty content with a lil apartment or a condo in the city.
CI: WELL YES. But in terms of living arrangements?
BZ: UHH... *sweats* you, me, and ananya?
CI: *looks off thoughtfully* And Sileas isn't included. *It's not a question but an observation.*
BZ: I MEAN...
BZ: i wanna ztay with ananya but... YIKEZ.
BZ: thoze two couldn't pozzibly live together. lbr.
BZ: there would be blood.
BZ: THERE HAZ BEEN BLOOD.
CI: I KNOW. *facepalms* How many more bridges must Sileas burn before he's SATED. I haven't a clue.
BZ: *fidgets a little.* zo like... i dunno. if you guyz talk and he wantz you to ztay with him then uh... that'z cool too. *he knows things... he just doesn't know if these THINGS have come to fruition yet.*
CI: But how fair would that be to you? *furrows his brow with all the fidgets and factors he has to take into account*
CI: Maybe it would be best if I lived on my own.
BZ: ... *nuzzles at him* hey, i'm juzt zaying... whatever you wanna do, i won't be far, right?
BZ: and... no matter where you're at, zileaz iz INEVITABLY gonna have to deal with a lot of me. *smiles a little*
CI: I don't think that's up for debait! *sighs and envelops Citrin in another hug* He can gripe all he likes. I will plant a fresh foot up his posterior.
CI: I just...
CI: Don't sea it all as fair.
CI: If it was only at his expense, I could honestly see myself NOT GIVING A CLAM. *But he knew it didn't work that way. He hugs on Citrin tighter.*
BZ: *buzzes softly, comfortingly... he had to admit to himself, this made him feel pretty darn important.* well... juzt talk to him about it and zee what he'z got to zay.
BZ: if you think having your own place iz the mozt fair then i'm cool with that... really.
CI: *Buries his face by the crook of his neck, absorbing the buzzes.* I would miss you.
BZ: ... gay. *kisses at the side of his head, squeezing him tighter.*
BZ: we'll get it worked out, ruru.
CI: I know... Unfortunately, you're contagious. *grins and gently nibbles the chub. Yum.*
BZ: hrrrkk. *wheezes until the giggles UNLEASH.* fuckin' RUDE.
CI: Isn't it??????????? I should have taken extra precautions before handling you. *peck peck, he steals some smooches*
BZ: FOOLIZH. eheheheh. *gets his revenge by holding ruleus' face in his hands and pressing a big kiss right on his fishy lips.* <3
CI: *BLUH, only not really. Citrin is really actually the best. He meets Citrin's big smooch with a bigger smooch from himself. Mwwwaaah.* I did this to myself. *muffled*
BZ: yep... now u gotta zuffer the conzequencez... *leans into him with all his fat weight so they're lying down again.*
CI: *is thoroughly squished under Citrin's GIRTH.* Should I die, tell them all I died as I lived. *purring from somewhere*
BZ: yez... zmothered betwixt peach cheekz.... *snnrrkks before dragging his kisses down towards his fin and then to his neck.*
CI: *ends up giggling, squirming from under Citrin* That TICKLES-- oh. Sorry.
CI: (Your dad.)
BZ: yez zhhhhh. *nibbles on him.* don't wake daddy. *SNRK.*
CI: That's difficult to do when you are being so... (Ticklish.) *paps him on the butt.*
BZ: yeah?? it ticklez in ur tummy?? >;) *he's papped... but it only makes him STRONGER. nibbles at his collar bone now. a frisky peach.*
CI: *SNORTS and ends up huffing about the rascally teeth prickling his collar. His hand comes up to stroke into the fluff of Citrin's hair instead.* In a particular kind of way, yes. Hmmm. *hums as if thinking.*
CI: We shouldn't get too distracted.
BZ: *buzzes softly...* why not? we can get diztracted for a LITTLE while...
CI: *laughs, scritching at his hair* I could compose, at very least, a small dramatic essay for you to ignore about all the reasons why we /shouldn't/ get "distracted" in your dads' house. But I also think I should tell you about...
CI: Sileas. And him wanting to matrimonialize our quadrant.
BZ: *peeks up at him but... doesn't really look surprised. he just rests his chin on ruleus' chest.* zo he went through with it, huh??
BZ: eheheh... he told me he waz going to. er, or that he WANTED to. but he waz being a dork about it...
BZ: like dur citrin do you think i zhould?? and i'm like bruh.
CI: *Exhales in relief, glad that at least Citrin knew about it. He purrs low in the backburner of his throat.* So he had the maturity and foresight enough for THAT at least. He's really bad with this kind of thing... when it comes down to it.
CI: It's another huge shame because I would not like his dumb baby butt feelings to get in the way of my relationship with you. Or any of our other corresponding relationships. *wrinkles his nose* He and Ananya greatly need an auspistice.
BZ: TELL me about it... but who iz ztrong enough for the tazk... eheheh. *nuzzles to his chest.*
BZ: ... i did really appreciate him talking to me. um... i'm not alwayz...
BZ: really zure where i ztand? er... idk. quadrant ztuff iz confuzing, you know? but when he came at me talking about that and rezpecting my input about you guyz and you going to lauctiz it really... helped clear up zome of my doubtz, i guezz.
BZ: he'z DUMB but at leazt he carez enough about you to look out for me too. and include me in all thiz.
CI: *Lip juts out, distressed by the idea of Citrin still having doubts about things... but ultimately, he puts it to rest.* I've always wanted you included.
BZ: i know... i'm juzt-- DUMB TOO... *looks guilty*
BZ: and i get confuzed.
CI: Citrin... You're not dumb for needing reasshorance. 8(
CI: You are an important part of the reason I would like to move to Lauctis. So the two of us can have a chance at augmenting all the GOOD we can do. Between ourselves...
CI: You inspire me a lot of the time.
BZ: ... *smiles at him bashfully.* yeah? eheh...
BZ: you too...
BZ: i wouldn't have even thought about moving... and i definitely wouldn't have motivated myzelf to get work if i wazn't... thinking about the kind of future i'd get to have with you if i did...
CI: *Citrin's honest bashful smiles should be bottled and kept away for rainy days. Ruleus is so smitten. He clears some hair out of his face.* There's plenty of time to figure it out.
CI: But I do want to figure it out. *takes up his hands and squeezes, nuzzling at his forehead.* No matter how long it takes.
BZ: *holds ruleus' hands tight, so relieved he feels like he might cry, his throat restricting and making his giggles rattle out hoarsely.* eheheh... me too...
BZ: i love you, ruleuz.
CI: *The words warm deep down in his bloodpusher and he's sure he's going to carry them for all of time. Ruleus's purrs roll anew.* I love you too, you silly peach. *murmurs, pecking a cool kiss right to his nose.*
BZ: no ur zilly... *catches him up in more kisses, humming against his lips.*
BZ: ... you zure we can't get diztracted juzt a little...
CI: It's tempting... but-- *he lingers, drawn into his warmth. His inviting softness. Flicks a fin remembering his trail of thought.*
CI: ...
CI: I can hear your dad snoring all the way over here. 8/
BZ: ... yeah that iz kind of a turn off...
BZ: BUT LATER.
BZ: you're gettin' it.
CI: Oh... *goes wall-eyed a little bit.* You know I never do get used to how plainly you put things.
BZ: GOOD. it makez it more fun for me when you're fluztered every time.>;)
CI: Whale how do you EXPECT me to act?? *HUFFS* You...
CI: Fluster me. 8(
BZ: FAIR. there really iz no other way to rezpond... i mean... LOOK AT ME!!
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