WRIT200 Blog Post #5: Spiders
Will this blog one day have a real theme? Who knows? For now, I'll continue simply talking about anything I find interesting. This is Letters From a Not-Quite Lunatic, after all. Maybe by the end I'll achieve full lunatic status and enter my final, most powerful form, but regardless, today is the day I talk about spiders.
I think maybe it all started when I was little, out of a desire to be fearless (or perhaps, the simple recognition that I was fearless about uncommon things, just as the things I did fear were usually odd). My mom and brother were both terrified of spiders, so when my dad was at work (a.k.a. most of the time), it fell to me with my concerning ability to switch off my emotions for a task to be the slayer of these mighty, tiny beasts.
I took pride in my warrior's status for years, only having one or two big scares (wrapping a towel around yourself out of the shower to see a huge wolf spider right on the front of it is not for the faint of heart), but over time I went from apathy to an actual affection for them.
The seed was planted most likely by my nana, who told me she was glad to have spiders around because they were good for her garden, eating all the smaller bugs that preyed on the plants. They were protectors, in that way. Nature's guardians.
I kept this in mind as the years passed, especially as I found myself to be a rather odd and lonely child. What was so offensive, I wondered, about a little creature who traveled alone and ate flies? We don't even have more than two species of venomous ones in my state. I pondered this, as I tended to ponder things.
My life changed drastically at twelve when my mom had my little sister and we outgrew my childhood home. We moved to the east side of town and bought a house built in the 70s with problems I don't even blame the seller for tiptoeing around. It was my parents' first time buying a home, being just ahead of millennials in being able to do so at all, and it was certainly an experience.
The house had a finished basement (a somewhat generous term, in hindsight), and I alone slept down there in a room we had to erect a small wall to create. And perhaps it was the eerie backyard pool just outside my ground-level window (by pure coincidence and having been built in the 70s, it was the exact same blueprint as the one they filmed at in season 1 of Stranger Things), or the fact that the stresses of school difficulty and caring for my little sister were beginning to truly wear on me, but I couldn't find it in me to worry very much about my constant roommates, the basement spiders.
I think I used to kill them at first, but there were so many of them that after a while I got tired of it, and unless they were in or near my bed I began to leave them alone. I would idly watch them crawl along the wall or the floor, and something like compassion for them began to grow in me. We weren't so different, really. Small, lonely things who kept to the shadows and watched as good, social, normal people turned up their noses. As time went by and life changed, another sibling came along and school got harder, we moved again, twice, and I grew only more wracked with anxiety, I began to almost see spiders as a sign of good luck. A small moment of companionship between me and the creature, two otherwise unconnected beings who despite the so-called ways of the world, had no desire to kill each other.
A couple of years ago I even got a plush spider at a gift shop. It looked cute to me, with its big shiny eyes, and it had just the right constitution to squeeze. I named it Paolo, and with the exception of my youngest two siblings my family found it rather horrid.
"What's with the spider?" a relative asked. "Why would you get something scary for a stuffed animal?"
I pointed out that bears were quite scary too if you actually came across one, but had been the standard stuffed toy for around a century with no complaint.
"Well, you can at least see the good things about bears," I was told, "like how they care for their young. This is just…creepy and evil."
I didn't say that spiders protected gardens, or often died for their young. I forgot. I was quieted.
But despite their rampant unpopularity, I still find myself defending the little creatures, perhaps all the more because they're so universally hated. I tend not to trust human vitriol, I suppose. We often aim it at things, or even people, who have committed no sin but inconveniencing us or being a bit too "different" for our personal comfort.
It does things for the soul, I think, to love a horrible little creature who can give you nothing back. Perhaps, then, there is hope for yourself, too.
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You know…. I like Hazbin hotel I really do-
BUT-
given I’m in love with OBEY ME LUCIFER-
and the fact that HAZBIN HOTEL LUCIFER is practically my dad with magic powers-
it makes a really interesting time scrolling through the Lucifer x reader tags….
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Before I shut up for a bit, I want to thank you all for all the support for this little blog the past days and all the love the new fic is getting!! Means so much, guys!!
Have a nice day/rest of the day/evening/night!! 😘
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Hey, quick question, are you guys okay with endogenic systems? We've hardly seen other folks with Fate fictives around, especially those that haven't specified. I'd hope you're endo friendly, we're just anon-ing because yknow...A lot of folks don't like endos and stuff...If not, well, you'll never see us around again and it wont be a problem
While we prefer to keep syscourse stuff off our blog for the most part (since discourse is exhausting as hell and we don’t really want to get caught up in any of it), we’re of the personal stance of radical inclusivity for the majority of things, aka, “Identify however the hell you want, you know yourself far better than anyone else ever could and it’s no one else’s business how ‘real’ or ‘fake’ a personal identity is.”
So, short answer is, yes! All system types are chill here. We don’t really specify our origins just because they’re, well, kind of messy and we’re not too sure of ‘em ourselves (never did fit into any one box too neatly), but it’s not really anyone’s business how you got here tbh, just that you are here.
Anyway, we’re a bit on hiatus atm (lack of interest atm, currently fixating on other stuff, attempting schoolwork, etc), but always glad to see more systems around! Enjoy your stay <3
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Tumblr, I'm literally about to angry vomit I spent an hour on that post let me fucking post it???
This site does this shit to me when I don't want it to and it's so goddamn annoying now I have to go back and redo the entire damn thing
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For some reason i'm really fond of the garden's food models
I dont know what it is about it but i want to eat it so badly. Some fruits it seems with some cream and chocolate maybe. The blurry textures and low poly makes it so endearing to me, it looks so delicious
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