#blame him for this in case yall need someone to blame
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promises under the stars - jude pov
Jude never meant to replace you. But that's how it ended up isn't it. There's no one to blame but himself, no one behind each and every decision that now has him standing at the end of an aisle, waiting for his bride. A bride that isn't you.
highly highly recommend reading this fic first. or else it kinda doesnt make a whole lot of sense on its own. then come back here. this is kinda like a part 2? kinda
shout out to this anon for this idea ! hope you like it
word count - 2.1K+
watch it - well angst, yet again. pregnancy talks the works. sorry if i used ur name for his wife xoxo. enjooyyy
p.s. - shout out to @anadiasmount for the inspo to create the image at the end ! go read all her stuff yall so good
—————-
He thinks the moment it all comes crumbling down is when he gets word of you getting mobbed. After you've just been to Madrid with him. And he can't do anything about it but send security and hope it doesn't get out of hand.
He expects you to give up right then and there, curse him and wish for him to have nothing to do with your life again. But you don't. You can never bring yourself to blame him. To hate him.
Then comes your whole family suing him for something completely out of his control. Fresh after your father has threatened him, this is just what they need to come after him legally.
It's okay because they don't win. Of course they don't. How stupid do you have to be to try and sue for going on vacation for someone you love. He wants to call you every step of the way. But his lawyer warns against it. So he doesn't. And you’re left in the dark.
Do you even know that they've tried to sue?
He can guess what you're thinking. He knows you too well. You think this is him taking an exit from his life. He doesn't want it to be this way. Maybe its for the best after all he finds himself thinking. Back to the thoughts of letting you go for your good as much as his.
But like most things in life, things get muddy.
He spends his time in a whirlwind of emotions, all leading back to you. He can not go more than an hour without you in his mind.
Even if his texting habits dont show it, he wants to talk to you every second of every day. Do you remember when he would call you to complain about the mundane. When he stubbed his toe, or drank out of his mind, pressing his nose against the screen trying to feel you against him.
Things have changed. He’s no longer the same youthful Jude with a penchant for recklessness. Taking day trips to see you, skirting around paparazzi and your families just to have a moment together.
He misses you, but he’s scared to reach out again. So he remains silent and an onlooker to your life.
Funny isn't it. World class player with more money than he knows what to do with is scared to text you in fear of what your families will say or do.
And yet, he can’t stay away for long can he. His resolve breaks on your birthday. Months and years have gone by. Legal cases are drawn out go figure. And he's been so busy with games every few days and events he can never say no too. When he gets home his bones ache, only finding the strength to clean himself up and go to bed.
When he calls you he realizes maybe it's too late. That waiting for things to blow over have left a gap in your time together. He knows nothing but memories. Your life eludes him. He tries to go back truly, but seeing your story while you're out with friends, smiling- actually smiling. He thinks he better not intrude.
His mother isn't helping one bit. She's come to the conclusion that the only way to move on and get your family off his back for good is to just move on. Find a “nice sensible girl” she says, smiling.
Jude doesn't want to. It makes him sick. Kicking and screaming the whole way about it. It’s not a bad idea in theory. Pretend to date someone. Your family gets off his back his family of yours boom you can be happy together again.
So he can learn who you are again. Find a way into your life. Do you still tilt your head when you're confused? He needs to get back to you. He can't let someone like you leave. He doesn’t just love you, he’s fascinated with the person you’ve grown into.
The thought of you with anyone else makes him sick. He still loves you, and he makes himself believe that the same is true.
If only right.
He meets Kaylie in the dead of winter. At a sponsorship event that he completely forgets about and shows up an hour late to. He looks around trying to find his agent but before he can even say his usual rounds of hellos he spots his mother standing with a blonde who clutches her necklace to her chest while she laughs.
This is the start of his own nightmare.
He comes back around when he knows he has to. After taking his sweet time talking to everyone. He tries to look for help to get out of the encounter but it's already too late. His mother is flagging him down. So he walks over, already sweating.
His mother all but pushes them together.
“What a couple you two are.” she beams, hands clasped together.
He gives a tight lipped smile and tries to wiggle his way out the awkward slew of introductions Kaylie gives of herself. But his mother gives him a look, grabbing into his arm and making stand and listen.
There's a look in his mothers eye, he knows what it means. This is the woman that's supposed to replace you. He feels sick.
——-
Along the way he thinks that maybe this is what's best for him. For you.
His family all love Kaylie. And she's sweet enough.
Nothing like you, dragging him into different clubs while you linked arms to get ice cream at the same time.
He finds it hard to keep up with her. Her life is fast paced, more so than his. Every time he calls she's in a different country it seems, catching flights and going to fancy resorts.
You never minded a quiet night in. Its what you loved, being able to exist with him.
Most of all she doesnt know him. She knows Jude Bellingham. The player, the figure, the celebrity. She doesn't know that he has a bad habit of touching his ears when he's nervous, how his eyes go wide at praise and teasing. How without a hundred reminders and alarms he truly would be late for everything. You always helped getting him to things on time.
When you were both awkward pre teens struggling to make sense of the world, you’d stop by his house to make sure he wouldn’t miss the bus. Sitting next to him on the beaten leather seats, and spitting facts you learned the day before.
He always listened. He still would today.
He doesn't think Kaylie’s noticed anything about him. She spends most of their time together taking pictures and flaunting him around. He pretends it doesn't bother him. Is the peace even worth it at this point?
She doesn't know how much he loves making little daisy chains, how much he loved putting them in your hair when you were kids. You’d throw a fit, but he never missed the look in your eyes when his fingers would swoop down to settle them gently.
Kaylie is beautiful. But she's not beautiful like you. She may have an expensive taste for clothes that allows her to put together a stunning outfit for any occasion, cleavage on display while she pouts her lips and bats her eyelashes for a kiss. Kisses he never gives her. He can't. Not when he knows you wait for him.
Sure she's great by the average man's standards. But she's not lovely like you. You could be in a trash bag and he'd still think you're the most gorgeous person on the planet.
He thinks this whole Kaylie thing will blow over, that he'll be able to get back to you.
And he tells her this.
He goes through the motions, just to shut everyone up.
Sitting her down when his mother isn’t around, “I don't love you. I will never be okay. I'm only here to get my mom off my back.”
And she laughs, flicking her hair over her shoulder, “Okay Judey whatever you say,” bracelets clanking together.
The name makes him want to hurl. “Get out of my house.”
Kaylie has got it in her head that she's here to stay. They've gotten into screaming matches because she's gotten her hands on the spare key and spends her days lounging in his house while he's away. They're not even officially dating by any means.
And he keeps finding her in his bed, in nothing but one of his shirts. Giggling and acting coy. He's losing his patience and losing it fast.
“Why did you give her the key.” Jude storms into his mothers house.
She's making tea, swirling a spoon in her mug,”she's your woman isn't she. She needs one.”
“No. She's not my woman and you know that. Everyone that.”
She set the spoon down in the sink, going over to where Jude stands.
“Jude. you need to focus on what's good for you. And she wasn't good. You should be lucky that they didn't win the case. I went and told them about Kaylie and how wonderful she is. Be thankful. “
He's losing his mind. He needs to talk to you.
He gets the chance when he's back in his hometown. And he sees you. He doesn’t think he could ever miss you, not even in a crowd. A rush of people stop him from running right to you. So instead he texts you. For the first time in ages.
Was nice seeing you.
He hopes you can read between the lines, that you still know him well enough to understand what he really means.
I still see you.
For Jude is a coward.
——
You dont reply. He forces himself to go back to what hes been forced to know.
Kaylie is all over him, hands roaming his body. There are days when he gives in. Sharing a bed with her as a cruel demented way to find some sort of release from everything that goes on around him. The look on her face after its all set and done makes him genuinely want to punch something. A look of arrogance, like she's won something.
And to top it all off he's been called up for England. His life gets even busier, if possible. Trying to keep up with it all proves to be grueling.
But light comes in the form of you. In the form of a single text.
Watched you play tonight. I'm proud of you.
You're proud of him? You watched him?
The words bring him to near sobs, the light of his phone illuminating his hotel room while hes getting changed into his pjs. It's completely dark, his personal preference. And hes so happy he would fly the damn plane himself to see you.
Before he can even think of a reply Kaylie tells him she's pregnant. Barging into his room with a little white box in hand. He thinks is some sort of congratulations for the game. Tacky card, maybe a watch.
When he opens it, his world comes to a halt. Its a single pregnancy test.
He wants to cry. He's too young to be having kids let alone with her. It makes no sense to him. He always used protection the handful of times they did sleep together. Each time he'd only cry in the shower trying to scrub off her smell and the feeling of her touch off of him. She's only a distraction he tells himself. Too late for those words now.
It feels so wrong, so so wrong. He was supposed to be waiting for you and here he is sleeping with another woman. Who's now pregnant. He wants to vomit.
He's in too deep now. And he can't be a deadbeat dad.
Thoughts of you get pushed back to his mind while he scrambles to deal with the consequences of his own actions.
When they get back to Madrid, his mother doesnt let him off easy. Screaming at him till he thinks he's popped an eardrum. And yet there's a gleam in her eyes like she's happy it all worked out this way. Doting on Kaylie and rubbing her belly (that's not even close to showing yet), and calling herself grandma already.
The next step is obvious. He has to marry her and make it work.
So he does. An impromptu wedding that happens so fast he doesn't even hear the congratulations from everyone. He doesn't know how to break it to you so instead he posts on instagram and tries to figure out what his life has become.
Jude is nearing 25. He has a kid on the way. He's married. He hates his wife. He hate himself. Can you ever forgive him?
#jude x reader#jude bellingham x reader#jude bellingham imagine#jude bellingham x you#jude fluff#jude bellingham#jude x you#jude x y/n#jude bellingham one shot#jude bellingham fanfic#jude bellingham angst#bahr footy#YAY#i acc got this out in a semi reasonable time frame go figure
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Most Possessive members of NCT
YUTA NAKAMOTO
honeyyyyyyyyyyy
EVERYBODY and their mama knows just how possessive this mf can be
lemme be straight tho
A lot of people think he's the toxic possessive
but that ain't the case
he's like...a level below toxic possessive lmaoooo
he'll allow you to go out
he won't control the way you dress
but...
Tell him where you are, where you're going
who you're with
when you're coming home
how you're coming home
There are certain things you should wear for him and him ALONE
you hear me?
I warned you ho
he doesn't get jealous easily
tbh he just gets annoyed
He won't say shit if he sees you leave the house in a short dress
but if you come home and say that somebody was hitting on you
he's fucking you on the spot
he's not gonna blame you for being fine asf
but he needs to get rid of the memory of that person
In short
tbh he just doesn't play when it comes to you
AT ALL.
every time you wear sandals people know its because of Yuta
he took your ability to walk.
NA MF JAEMIN
listen
he's in competition with Yuta
Honestly
Jaemin is possessive ASF
he's arguably more dangerous than Yuta
still not toxic though
but he gets jealous easily
if anything he's sweet about it.
If you have an outing with friends
bitch...
he's helping you pick out that outfit
because you will not be leaving the house in a short dress
when he knows he won't be there to protect you
In public, he is ALWAYS
Gripping the life out of your thighs
When he gives you hickeys
they spell his name
'JAEMIN'
with a lil heart
where everyone can see
also extremely protective but that's for another time
LEE JENO
Pack it up
jeno is a little... toxic possessive
I'm sorry
but I must tell the truth
not everybody can handle him
"Don't you think that's a little too short to wear out?"
that's all he said and
You still wore it out
the next day you couldn't walk
Doesn't like that you have male friends but won't tell you to cut them off
WILL BE HAPPY ASF
if you and your male friends lose contact tho
does not get jealous easily but when he does...
babe.
just do what he says😭😭😭
or else somebody is gonna get beat up
not you though...never you
he would never
Everyone can see the bruisings on your love handles from how hard he grips you every time you wear Croptops
Liu Yang Yang
mhmm
I know what you're thinking
"Yang yang doesn't give me possessive energy tho"
bitch that cuz he's childish with it
He's like a child with his possessiveness
a brat
pouts and rants
when he feels someone is trying to take you away from him
all he needs is a hug, some reassurance, and a very specific article of clothing you wear a lot 👀
tbh his possessiveness is sweet but it can be annoying sometimes😭😭
Made you wear panties with wet with his cum because he needed to be "Reassured"
Lee Haechan
Brat #2
he is just annoying 😂😂😂
for the most part, he's feigning possessiveness
unless something happens
then you'll see a different side of him
also extremely protective and will get into a fight
once again that's for another time
and trust and believe when yall are in public
babeeee
he
is
not
letting
you
go
if he could go into the bathroom stall with you he would
he just wants everybody to know that you are his.
fucked you at the back of the restaurant once because Jungwoo was being a bit too friendly.
#nct imagines#nct yuta#nct fanfic#nct taeyong#nct dream#nct doyoung#nct fluff#nct 127#nct smut#nct scenarios#nct mark#nct taeil#nct jaehyun#nct jungwoo#nct johnny#nct haechan#nct wayv#yang yang
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•“𝐎𝐁𝐒𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐃 𝐁𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒 •”
𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆:Earth 42 Miles X F! Reader
𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟐: 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐈𝐧 𝐌𝐲 𝐁𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬,𝐃𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐃𝐨 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭, 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓
𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐎: Miles owns a business to help with his job as The prowler, he gets a new assistant thats trying to end his marriage .
𝐀/𝐍: Yall asked and yall will recive , i hope yall enjoyed this took a while
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆:Cussing,Horrible flirting,Spanish might be a little choppy ( blame apple) For the story HE IS AGED UP
Inspired by: some tiktok and the obsessed movie
Miles started to wake up and get ready for work. He left you a quick note “Don’t move too much , Recuerda que estás en reposo en cama“(remember you are in bed rest ) , he left a tiny heart at the corner .
The butler would come , as miles was getting ready “when she wakes up just make her a breakfast sandwich “ miles lets the butler know . The butler nods at the request, he would swiftly grab his brief case and head off to work .
The car would feel with sounds if Miles hype playlist for work . He enjoyed the playlist sense it reminded him that “he’s a boss “
The boss parks a car in the parking spot that was labeled for him. As he walks to the door he seen a new face . “My name is Mr. Morales , and you are “ he questions her .
“Oh me , I’m Iya Barnes “ he shakes her hand “nice to meet you “ he says and smiles .
Miles opened the door for the lady as a gesture of welcoming and kindness. Miles couldn’t help it , Mama Rio raised him right and always made him a gentleman.Yet the lady didn’t take it that way .
“I’ll give you a quick tour “
He starts giving a nice breif tour of the company, she would get to meet all of her new coworkers and she didn’t know it yet but even the boss .
“If you have any questions either ask me or coworkers “ miles told her .
“Well I do have a quick question, do you know where the prowler is “ she asks him . He lets out a chuckle
“Nice to meet you.. I’m the prowler “ he says .
In the moment the lady fell in love , she loved the way he was so cocky with it , how the word “prowler “ rolls off his tongue.
“Well I’m guessing you’ll be my assistant, so I have 3 rules that every employee follows
1. Don’t ever disrespect my wife.
Although she is not here she does come around and see me at least once or twice per week.
2. Don’t be nosy
“ In the most respectful way , mind your business. Sense you are my assistant sometimes you need to listen to calls . If you don’t have to listen , then don’t listen “
3. “Don’t be touchy touchy
I don’t like when people are all one me. You can give me a tap but I don’t really do hugs with most co workers . “
When he was done with rules , let’s just say the new girl was a little ticked off because he had a wife . She wanted him and now that she heard he had a wife , she was going to be a home wrecker .
During her time on working here she already broke one rule .
Rule number 3 to not be in his business, yet she was . She was ease dropping on a call with him and his wife . She heard that you were going to stop by and drop something off for him . But he was going to be in a meeting.
“Looks like someones being nosy “ a random coworker said as they tapped her shoulder. She quickly takes the earpiece off. “ I hope boss dosn't see you “The person whispers in the girls ear, the unknown walks off from the lady.
In that moment she felt caught , like she did some crime .
“Iya I’m going to a meeting , when my wife gets here either ask Arron to excuse me or you can do it “ he walks into meeting room and begins to start . During that time the girl started to do her job for once .
You would come to his job , and bring his lunch for him , the butler made him a sub , gave him some juice, fruit , chips and cookies . You knock on the glass to catch her attention. She looks up at you with a stank face . You were confused why but then you just went to Uncle Aaron because you weren’t gonna deal with that time disrespect. “Hey I brought you and miles some lunch , and he you know told me I can call him out if needed “ you tell him as you grab his lunch from the bag you brought from home . “Alright I got that , and thanks “ he said .
Soon miles would come out of the meeting and you would go to his office.
“You can have your lunch break Iya” miles told the assistant to take her lunch break.
“Miles, no me gusta esa chica , she’s bad news “ (Miles I don’t not like that girl)
“¿Por qué, cariño, qué pasó?” He asks you in a soft tone (why baby what happened) he asked you confused as this was only her first day .
“Well you see I was going to ask her to call you out , but she gave me a stank-“ you say before a knock from a coworker comes out .
“I want gonna say anything but the new girl broke on of the big three rules , she invaded your privacy “ you make a chuckle. “you see what i mean she broke 2 rules in one day” you mumble .
“Tendremos una charla (We’ll have a talk) “ he says
You continue to talk with him about the business and other stuff about the pregnancy.
“ are you going to come tomorrow “ he asks you , you think nothing of it
“Yeah probably “you tell him
He smiles “alrighty baby I’ll see you later tonight ok” you smile as he give you a smile .
You leave and would head back home happy you got to see your husband early .
While you were happy iya was somewhere pressed , realizing that if she was going to try to get his attention she would have to break a rule but good thing for her she was already doing to get a talk , she had already broken more than one rule in a quick span of a day
“wheres is Iya “ miles goes around asking people “she’s in the break room” he smiles thanks , “you’ll probably get a raise” he whispered in the person who told where she was
“Esta nueva chica será mi muerte“ (This new girl will be the death of me).he sighed as he opened the door
“Iya we have a problem “ he says as he walks in “two people have commented on you in the past hour , care to explain “ he says in a harsh cold accent
“I have no idea what your talking about “
“Sí, lo haces”(yes you did) he mumbles
“Did you say something” she asks trying to act surprised”
“Yes you did, one if your trying to say my wife is lying , and why would another say they saw you with head piece on” he says in a annoyed tone , yet the girl enjoyed it , how his tone was Cold and his eyes where low .
“I’m sorry please take my apology, I can make it up to you” she whines as she try’s to touch his chest . He moves so she touches the wall . “Don’t make it 3 rules broken” he says harshly and walks out of the break room .
He walks to uncle Aaron’s office “Tío, me voy temprano, esta mierda es estresante, especialmente la chica nueva“(uncle im leaving early , this shit stressful, especially the new girl) he goes silent for a second
“How does one person breaks the 3 big rules in one day , ¿Qué coño? “(like what the fuck) he says he takes off his badge and places it on the desk
“I’ll talk to her” he says , miles starts to leave to go to his office and get everything he needs to go home .
He starts to undo his tye and smiles knowing that tomorrow his was going to see a nice small on your face with the surprise baby shower
𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @not-aya @html-nae @mintkookiess @khamanix @erensbbg @marsbars09 @yanghees @melaaaara @xuanzhe @iheartamora @hana-1235 @merlieve @stevenknightmarc @baboon-milk333
@fennecspage
-Some didn't work , so sorry 😭😢
#prowler miles x reader#prowler miles morales x y/n#prowler x reader#miles morales prowler#the prowler#prowler miles#atsv prowler#prowler#prowler miles morales#prowler miles x you#earth 42 miles morales x black!reader#earth 42 miles#earth 42 miles morales#earth day#earth 42 miles x reader#earth 42 miles x you#earth 42#earth 42 miles angst#earth 42 miles morales x reader#earth 42 miles fluff#earth 42 miles morales x you
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DO YALL REMEMBER THAT THING WHERE SOMEONE POINTED OUT "OH HEY IT KIND OF LOOKS LIKE CROWLEY'S WINGS GET DARKER AFTER HE STARTS TALKING WITH AZIRAPHALE ABOUT THE PLANS FOR THE UNIVERSE"
I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST LIKE WEIRD LIGHTING OR HOW THEY ANIMATED IT
NO
ITS LITERALLY FUCKING CANON
CROWLEY'S WINGS BEGIN DARKENING THE FUCKING MOMENT SHE BEGINS QUESTIONING GOD
Which, since this is in fact the case, that means that Aziraphale never really knew Crowley as an angel, because he'd been questioning God since almost the moment they met. There has never been a point where Aziraphale and Crowley knew each other where Crowley was as unquestioning and faithful as Aziraphale
I also saw someone point out that, again, since that is the case, Aziraphale is technically part of the reason Crowley Fell in the first place since he was the first one to tell Crowley "Oh yeah the thing you've worked on since you were literally created is only due to last like 6000 years"
Sure, Crowley would have found this out anyways, and knowing Crowley she absolutely would have went to talk to God about it and Fallen anyways
But Aziraphale is the one who kick-started that, and I imagine that if he knows that him telling Crowley literally led to his Fall, he's never forgiven himself for it
So in Aziraphale's head, Crowley taking his offer is how he fixes his worst mistake, his inadvertently getting Crowley thrown out of Heaven, but Crowley doesn't see it that way because he's always taken responsibility for his Fall. He can say all he wants that he didn't mean to, that he just "hung around the wrong people", but she 1000% blames herself for it, so Aziraphale's offer sounds, in Crowley's mind, like "You need to come back to Heaven with me because I don't think you're good enough as you are now", whereas for Aziraphale what he's trying to say is "You should come back to Heaven because you shouldn't have Fallen in the first place, this is my fault, and this is the best way to fix it"
#good omens#good omens spoilers#good omens season 2#good omens angst#aziraphale#aziraphale good omens#crowley#crowley good omens
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how about ex-husband geto hcs? 🥺💕
YES MA'AM (I saw this request awfully late, you probably forgot about it too but, in any case, here ya go)
♡ ♡ ♡
+ characters: getou suguru x reader
+ tw: suggestive content
♡ ♡ ♡
⇀ No stranger would assume that you two were separated, you can't blame them, he's always glued to your side. going grocery shopping? he'll come with. need someone to mow the lawn? dial his number. picking your kid up from day care? a parent mustn't go alone! it doesn't help that your son loves his dad.
⇀ Divorce to you always meant avoidance at all costs. you never though your own divorce would mean that your ex-husband is at your house more often then when you two were married.
⇀ Perhaps it was taunting at his end, to show you that divorce was a mistake. but you can't exactly tell him to kick rocks when he's fixing that lightbulb your too short to reach. Shirtless with his baggy sweats hanging off of his toned hips, v-line teasing you as he unscrews the bulb.
⇀ While he does always show up at the perfect time of your distress, his only reason isn't to woo you and win you back. he understands how hard it is to manage being a single mother, so he'll do everything he can to make sure he has at-least a 50/50 contribution.
⇀ Even if it has nothing to do with your kid. if you even utter the word, 'help' he will show up faster than God himself.
⇀ Your resolve weakens when you come home every night and see your kid sleeping in the lap of the man your trying not to love. He'd watch TV on low volume, eyes fixated on something about home renovation while softly rubbing your kids back.
⇀ Washing the dishes is something even divorce can't convince him to do, so he'll prop himself upon the kitchen bench at night, and watch you load the dishwasher.
⇀ When your done with what's meant to be his chore, he makes sure to thank you in strange ways for a divorced couple.
⇀ He'd pull you so that you are in-between his legs, which are dangling off the edge, and lift your chin up to kiss you. just like he did on your wedding night.
⇀ Getou would do anything to protect his family, raising his eyebrows at those who think you have suddenly become available. He says married and divorced are just worthless labels. What do mere labels have against the way he coaxes orgasms after orgasms out of you, behind closed doors once he's done reading your kid a bedtime story.
⇀ dare you mention your single, and he's already there, bottoming out of you, as your thighs shake for mercy around his hips.
⇀ And by the time you wake up in the morning, with aching legs and a warm embrace. your smiling into getous chest, thinking maybe he deserves a second chance.
♡ ♡ ♡
send more headcanon requests yall this was so much fun! HEADCANONS ONLY PLEASE I HATE WRITING ONE-SHOTS BYE.
ʕ•ᴥ•ʔﾉ♡
#getou x y/n#getou x reader#geto x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk headcanons#jjk x reader#getou smut#geto smut#geto headcanons#getou headcanons
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Second Best - Part 1
Nikolai Lantsov x reader
Part 2 - Part 3
A/N: Look, am I starting a new series when I haven't finished nly? Yes, I am. And I would proudly do it again because this story has been in my drafts for so long and I want yall to see it. Hope it's coherent enough :) also, I gave the mc reader a last name :)
Synopsis: When you were a child, the Lantsov king and queen arranged for their second son to marry you, a rich Ravkan noble family's only daughter. After many years, after all the destruction of the war, and after Nikolai was crowned king, Nikolai breaks off the engagement. But the complications of your past and your strict parents make it a nightmare to find a new fiance, so Nikolai promises to help you, yet he slowly realizes the mistake he's made.
Warnings: strict and mean parents, very slight self-image issues because of said parents, kinda confusing and purposefully ambiguous details that will be important later in the story (bear with me please)
Word Count: 1700
..........
It was going to be a very important day, your mother had said. She sat in the corner of the room as a gaggle of maids did you up. Everything needed to be perfect for your meeting with the new king of Ravka. After all, he was your fiance, but there were rumours that he did not wish to marry you.
The engagement was made when you were both children and he was only supposed to be a prince, but now circumstances had changed and he was king of a fractured nation. He would need to marry for the good of Ravka, so a political match would be much more beneficial. You wouldn't blame him if he chose to marry a foreign princess or noblewoman, but your parents insisted that you would be the future queen of Ravka.
"Stop fidgeting," your mother commanded. You straightened out, averting your stare as you mumbled an apology.
It was cold outside the front door of your parents' home in Os Alta. Goosebumps had broken out on your skin and you struggled to not rub some warmth into them. All you could do was wait for the king to arrive. He was more than ten minutes late, but your father had insisted that you all remain standing at the entrance until Nikolai arrived.
As you heard carriage wheels in the street you swore you could leap with joy that you would soon be allowed inside again, but you stayed perfectly poised. The royal carriage swung around the corner and you felt your heartbeat pick up, kicking into double-time. You pitied any nearby heartrenders, for the thumping must have been utterly annoying; but you came about it honestly.
There was always a fear in the back of your mind that you would be found out. Someone would discover your family secret and you would be exiled from respectable society before you could marry your Lantsov fiance. But you couldn't worry about that now, not when the carriage had stopped and the king was getting out.
If you had been worried about the cold earlier, it was now the farthest thing from your mind. King Nikolai's stare was enough to make your face heat up, and you thought you might burst into flames without a moment's notice as you curtsied to him. He still looked a little like the boy in your faded memory of him, the boy that you met when you were twelve and he was fourteen. He had a boyish countenance, a light-hearted look to him as he stepped out of his carriage.
You were prepared for a bit more resemblance to his older brother, but he was comparatively more handsome than Vasily ever was. His smile was charming and warm, not greasy or snide as his brother's had been; he had a stronger chin than his brother, and really just a better bone structure in general. But perhaps the lack of similarity between him and his brother gave credence to the rumours of his lineage. You often wondered if people thought that way about the differences between you and your parents.
Whatever the case, you were too conscious of the way he didn't offer you his arm as the four of you entered the house to care about any of that. In Ravka it was common for engaged couples to do that sort of thing, even when they were practically strangers, so it seemed the whispers of his detachment from you had some truth.
You settled in the drawing room where tea was presented to the four of you. Mere minutes of small talk passed before your father broached the topic of the engagement. He set down his cup and saucer, leaning back in his seat as he stared at the king. Nikolai had just told an anecdote about the tiring details from his coronation several months ago and your father was ready to pounce.
"I suppose the wedding will be as much of a headache to plan, but this time you'll have my daughter to shoulder some of the weight," he said, a cheerful air to his voice despite the trap he just laid.
"Lord Antonov," Nikolai smiled politely, "I don't suppose you've heard any news from my father or mother."
Your father shook his head, a confused twitch in his brow.
"They were the ones to arrange this marriage, but, as it is, they are not around to see it through. They approved the match back when I was a boy and my father was still king." Here it was. The rumours were about to be verified. Nikolai kept on, "Things have changed since then; I am no longer a boy, and my father is no longer king, so you will forgive me if I would like to drop the agreement that my parents made you many years ago."
"Promises and plans were made, your highness, and they cannot be easily undone--"
"And yet they must be undone." Nikolai levelled your father with a heavy stare. "Ravka needs strong diplomatic ties, and I believe that one of the best options to achieve this is through marriage. I cannot sacrifice the good of this country for an old arrangement made by a party that is no longer in power."
"But what will my daughter do?" Your mother piped up. "She'll have to find a new suitor, but who would want her now that she gets older?"
As much as you would have liked to say that her words did not affect you, you couldn't deny their sting. To your parents, all that their daughter–their only child–had ever been was a bartering chip for well-born men to marry and continue their noble lines, and it showed in your mother's primary concern. If you weren't young, you weren't beautiful, and if you weren't beautiful, who would dare marry you?
Nikolai nearly laughed. "She is twenty, that is not old. And if you're so concerned that she needs to be married, I will see to it that she finds someone suitable. I know enough barons and marquises who would be glad to marry her."
"For centuries we Antonovs have dedicated our lives--our entire estate--to this country and the Lantsovs, and this is how we are to be repaid?" Your father narrowed his stare. "Have you no honour? That you would go back on your word--some king you are."
If your mother's superficial worries weren't enough to make Nikolai rethink the marriage, insults from your father definitely wouldn't change his mind.
"Father," you gasped as a sorry attempt at admonishment. When you felt eyes on you, you couldn't help but speak, even if your parents wouldn't like what you were going to say. "You should consider the importance of his highness' role in Ravka. If our country needs a political marriage to strengthen diplomatic ties, then perhaps it is for the best that we sever the arrangement you made with the former king."
"My daughter doesn't know what she's saying, your highness," your mother tried to backtrack, but you weren't having it. You'd be in deep shit with them for that first comment, and you figured you should continue since they were already angry.
"If you two are as patriotic as you often say then you would understand that the good of your country comes first. If the king asks you to forgo an old agreement, you should forgo it."
"There you have it," Nikolai said. "The two most important voices in this conversation have spoken." He stood and looked at you. "I must be going now, but perhaps could you walk me out, my lady?"
You stood and set aside your tea, eager to be out of the room. In the hall, you caught Nikolai staring at you. He smiled, looking forward.
"You handled that well," he said.
"I should hope so." You glanced at him. "Like you, I was educated at Ketterdam University where most of my classmates were hog-headed boys who went on and on about the most insignificant topics. I found the best way to assert my voice in the classroom was through a light shaming of those who couldn't figure out when to shut up."
"Very effective," Nikolai remarked, his eyes alight. "What did you study at school?"
"Economics for the most part, but there was also advanced physics as well as debate classes."
"You must have made quite the student." There was approval in his voice.
You held back a proud grin. Men are frightened by smart women, your mother often said. She maintained that you must hold back your brains until after you had a ring on your finger, but because you weren't marrying him, you didn't see the need to hide your intellect. You straightened out and replied, "I was always top of my class."
When you reached the front door Nikolai fastened his jacket and turned to you with a conciliatory smile. "I hope I haven't bent your parents too out of shape."
"They'll get over themselves." But you weren't too certain of your words. You amended, "They'll have to."
"I meant what I told your mother," he said. "I can help you find a fiance. Though I'm sure you wouldn't have difficulty finding one on your own."
You chuckled. "Yes, undoubtedly my mother is already scheming to entrap the next richest bachelor in Ravka into a marriage."
"That's not what I meant." At your quizzical brow, he smiled and fixed the cuffs of his coat. "I only meant to say that you're highly intelligent and quite beautiful. Anyone would be lucky to marry you."
You dared to look away from his hazel eyes, tracing the gold frame of a portrait as you quickly dispelled the heat from your face. When you looked back he was trying to hide a smug smile that told you he knew exactly what game he was playing at.
"You've scrapped our engagement, and yet now you're flirting with me," you observed with a tsk. "Are you always this contradictory?"
"When the mood strikes me," he said. "Now, it has been a pleasure but I must be getting back to the palace."
You parted ways with a handshake, Nikolai returning home and leaving you to face two very upset nobles.
..........
A/N: Thanks for reading! Feel free to like, reblog, and comment if you want to read more, I really appreciate the feedback! If you want to be tagged in the other parts of this series or to be added to the Nikolai taglist please comment on this part or send me an ask. Otherwise, I hope you have a great day/night :)
Masterlist
Part 2
Nikolai Taglist: @notoakay
#nikolai lantsov x reader#nikolai lantsov fanfic#nikolai lantsov x you#nikolai lantsov fic#grishaverse fanfic#second best
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i know it won't work - trevor zegras
summary: You let go of Trevor but why can't he let go of you? You know it won't work so why can't he see that? You're only trying to save each other from more heartbreak than necessary. You just want him to be happy.
a/n: this is the second fic in my good riddance by gracie abrams fic series. you don't have to read the first one for this to make sense. so this is my first song fic so please be nice. idk if i did it right. everything in bold is the song lyrics. i recommend listening to the song but you don't have to. i really do love this fic so hopefully yall will too🫶
pairing: trevor zegras x gn!reader
warnings: angsty and some swearing
good riddance fic series
The last year has been hard for you. Nobody ever told you how hard graduating highschool would be. Everyone paints graduating as this big celebration. You're never warned of the hard choices you’ll have to make and the people you’ll lose. The one person you never expected to lose was your childhood best friend and boyfriend of 3 years, Trevor Zegras. And you could never have predicted that you would be the one walking away. Not him.
I left you there
Heard you keep the extra closet empty
In case this year I come back and stay throughout my 20s
Your body is drained of any energy. Moving into your dorm room has sucked any will to do anything for the rest of the day out of your body. You’re excited for the new chapter that University will bring to your life but you’re also mourning the loss of the life you had before. You feel like a different person since everything in your life did a complete 180 a few months ago.
Leaving Trevor was probably the hardest thing you’d ever done. You didn’t just lose your boyfriend that day, you also lost your best friend. It was what needed to happen though. It was this one day when he made a comment about how he would follow you anywhere and give up hockey in a heartbeat that made you freak out. You had to cut ties. Trevor loved you in an all consuming way. You loved him in a nostalgic kind of way. In the way that you two had been best friends forever. You loved him but slowly you were realizing it wasn’t in that same romantic way his love for you was. It was not purely but more platonic. You couldn’t ever see yourself marrying him and so even though it hurt both of you, leaving was the right decision. If only Trevor could understand that.
Picking up your phone to check social media, you see you’ve got a missed call from a friend, well she’s probably your best friend now, since you walked away from Trevor. You choose her number from your recent contacts and let it ring until she picks up.
“Hey, y/n, how are you? Are you all settled in?”
“I’m good. It was a real tight fit, to get everything in the dorm but it worked out. How about you? How’s your dorm? I can’t believe we are literally on the opposite side of the country now.”
Your friend laughs, “ Yeah, it was quite the tight fit here too. The dorms are tiny. But I’m doing good. I’m excited for classes to start.”
You pause for a second, wanting to ask the question that’s been burning in the back of your mind for weeks now. You wanted to know how Trevor was. Trevor and your friend had always been close. When you walked away from Trevor you didn’t want them to have to end their friendship so they still hang out.
Stuttering, you ask,” Hey, um how’s Trev doing?”
“Are you sure you really wanna know?” Yes, you are sure. At this point you feel like you need it as much as you need the air you breathe. You can guess he probably isn’t doing great, you aren’t either but you need to hear it from someone who knows.
“Yes, I do.”
“Okay, well I’m gonna be honest with you.” She pauses. “He’s fucked up over you. You walking away from him really came out of the blue. He blames himself. He thinks he did something wrong.” Hearing that he thinks it’s his fault breaks your heart. All he did was love you with all of himself and you couldn’t reciprocate that.
“I-fuck. Why couldn’t I just love him back? It’s what he deserved and I couldn’t give it to him.”
“Y/n, it’s okay. In the long run this will be better. At least neither of you will be stuck in a shitty relationship. But if I’m being completely honest I think Trevor still thinks you’re gonna come back. Like you’re gonna realize you made a mistake and change your mind. You probably don’t wanna hear this but he keeps the extra closet empty. You know, just in case you decide to come back and stay for good.”
Hearing that, shatters your heart into a million pieces.
What if I won’t?
How am I supposed to put that gently?
And down the road
You will love me until you resent me
You talk for a few more minutes but then you hang up, your heart wasn’t really in it and you’re emotionally exhausted. You feel as if your body is about to combust. Sighing, you toss your phone on the bed and flop back, shutting your eyes and letting your thoughts consume you.
You shouldn’t go back to Trevor. It wouldn’t be fair to you or him. It would only cause more pain than it’s worth. But maybe a little part of you still wants to. You miss him. There is history there that can’t just be erased.
You feel like you need to tell Trevor that you really meant it. He can’t keep holding out for you. He needs to live his life. He’s at BU this year and next year he’ll be in the NHL. All you want is for him to be happy. You want him to go out and kiss other people and to find the person of his dreams but instead he’s hung up on you.
If he stays hung up on you, if he can’t move on he’ll eventually start to hate you. He’ll love you so much that it’ll turn into resentment if it hasn’t already. And even though you broke his heart you really, really don’t want him to resent you. You couldn’t stand it. He still means the most to you.
I’ve had the thought
Tried to work it out through anxious pacing
What if I’m not
Worth the time and breath I know you’re saving?
Despite being tired down to your bones, you slept horribly that night. Knowing that Trevor might be up at this very moment, not being able to sleep because of what you did is killing you. You aren’t worth this much thought or time. He could have anyone. Any kind, beautiful person that he wants. Someone who can give him everything but instead he’s agonizing over you. For fucks sakes he even has a closet empty just for you. He must really believe you’re coming back.
It’s your first night sleeping in your dorm and that isn’t helping either. You look over at your roommate who is peacefully sleeping, wishing you could be doing the same. You grab a water bottle and chug half of it trying to gain your bearings. Your mind is running wild and you need to do something.
You start pacing back and forth, in your tiny dorm room. You really hope your roommate doesn’t wake up because you don’t need someone you barely know thinking you’re crazy.
You just want Trevor to just move on. To not let you live rent free in his mind. You aren’t even worth it. You’ve seen how many other girls are after him. He could have any of them. You aren’t worth it. He’s saving too much for you and he needs to let it go.
But it’s a lot
All the shine of half a decade fading
The whole facade
Seemed to fall apart, it’s complicated
You’ve known Trevor for your whole life and liked him for 5 of those years. Until it just kinda stopped. You stopped wanting him so much romantically and you just wanted to go back to being best friends. Part of you, a big part, wished you had never even dated in the first place.
A few months before graduating everything started falling apart with Trevor. It stopped feeling right, your relationship. It stopped feeling like where you wanted to be. You hoped it would pass but it didn’t. The feeling kept growing and growing until it felt like there was just a huge hole in your chest where something wasn’t quite right. Where something was wrong.
And part of me wants to walk away 'til you really listen
I hate to look at your face and know that we're feeling different
'Cause part of me wants you back, but
I know it won't work like that, huh?
Weeks fly by but it doesn’t really get that much easier. You’re happy and you’re making friends but you still miss Trevor. And you’ve gathered from talking to hometown friends that still talk to him, that Trevor isn’t really doing any better. You can’t get past the fact that you’re the one making him hurt like that.
It’s completely sudden. You aren’t expecting it. There’s no text, no build up. Just one day out of the blue he calls. You don’t want to pick up. It’s only gonna lead to false hope for him that you want to get back together and false hope for you that he wants to simply just be best friends again. But you can’t help it, you pick up the phone and answer.
“Y/n,” Trevor says the moment you pick up, sounding a little breathless.
“Um, hey Trev.” You don’t know what else to say so you leave it at that.
You hear Trevor mumble, “Oh fuck, there’s no way i can do this.” and then he starts talking.
“Y/n, please, please tell me what I did wrong so I can fix this. I miss you. You’re my best friend and the love of my life. I need you.”
Fuck, you won’t get through this. You can’t stand to talk to Trevor, knowing you both feel completely different. And it’s the fact that he thinks it’s his fault. That he did something wrong.
You desperately wanted to tell Trevor that you would come back, that it could be like old times but you can’t. It would be a lie. It could never be the same ever again.
A part of you wants to go back and just say fuck it. You want your friendship back so badly that you’re willing to fake the romantic part. Maybe you’ll eventually for real fall back in love with him. It’s possible, but you know that’s not right. It won’t work like that.
“Trevor, you didn’t do a single thing wrong. It just wasn’t working. It wasn’t meant to be forever. I have so much love for you still but not in the same way that you do. We can’t keep doing this to each other. We need to get past this. Hanging up the phone was hard. Sitting with your thoughts after was harder, but you’ll get through it. You did the right thing.
Why won't you try moving on for once? That might make it easy
I know we cut all the ties but you're never really leaving
And part of me wants you back, but
I know it won't work like that, huh?
In the weeks that follow you don’t hear anything from Trevor. Until mid November and then everything starts seeping back in.
First it’s a text. A simple, hey, how are you? And you know you shouldn’t respond so you don’t. And then it’s pleading. It’s text saying we need to talk or I miss you. And you almost respond to those because you can’t bear to think that you are causing Trevor so much pain. But again you hold out and don’t respond. It’s when he starts picking up the phone and calling that you can’t stop yourself.
He called you once, you didn’t pick up. He called you a second time, and still you restrained yourself, but the third time was when everything went crashing down.
You had been having a really shitty day to start off with and you were already in the worst of your feelings, so when Trevor called it’s like it breaks a dam inside of you. A wall that had been holding strong but was now toppling over.
You pick up the phone and for a minute it’s just dead silence. You hear Trevor’s breathing so you know he’s there but he hasn’t said anything. So you decide to speak first.
“Trev, I thought we agreed to cut ties. We can’t keep doing this. You need to move on. This isn’t healthy for either one of us.”
“ Y/n, you’re the one who said we should cut ties, I never agreed. I need you in my life. I miss you.” The desperation in Trevor’s voice makes you want to cry. It makes you feel as if someone took a jagged piece of glass and cut open the wound that was slowly starting to heal. The wound that you inflicted by walking away. A part of you still wants him. But you can’t. You just can’t. It isn’t possible.
I'll open up
I'm thinking everything you wish I wasn't
The call was tough
But you're better off, I'm being honest
You take a deep breath. You need to give Trevor the closure he needs and then leave for good. You need to explicitly say that this won’t work. You need to tell him without any fancy words that he needs to accept that you're not the one for him.
“Trevor,” you plead, needing him to listen, “You need to walk away. I’ve been trying to for months now but you keep pulling me back in. I’ve already moved on but you’re the one who won’t let me leave. We were what we were but we can’t be that anymore. I’m not the same person I was 3 years ago and you aren’t either. Let me go and in the long run we’ll save each other a ton of hurt. I love you but this won’t work. You have to let go. I’m gonna hang up and you aren’t gonna call me again.” You pause, catching your breath. “I wish you nothing but the best. Goodbye, Trev.
You sit in silence for a moment. It was hard. You have tried telling him goodbye before but this felt much more final. After all the other times you tried saying goodbye to Trevor, you still felt as if there was more to the story before it would be over. You hoped the story was over now. It was the best thing for you and for Trevor.
So won’t you stop
Holding out for me when I don’t want it
Just brush me off
I’m your ghost right now, your house is haunted
It took all of five minutes for Trevor to call you again. 5 fucking minutes. God, all you want at this point is for Trevor to move on. To realize this is the best thing that could’ve happened. You don’t pick up. You need to set some boundaries. You can’t keep picking up the phone when you don’t wanna talk. He needs to just brush you off and move on.
But he calls 4 more times that night. And you’re scared it won’t stop. So you pick up. Of course you do. It’s that little part of you that still wants him back that makes you.
“Trevor, you need to stop. I’m sorry but we can’t. I don’t know how many times you want me to say this. I know this won’t work the way you want it to or at all. So please I’m begging you stop. Put both of us out of our misery. You start moving on so I can finish letting go. Trevor, don’t call me again or I will block your number. I don’t want to because for some reason it just feels wrong. But I will. Goodbye, Trev.”
You hang up and this time you know. It’s final. Trevor won’t call again. You’re sad but more than that you’re relieved. You can finally start living again.
It’s as if for these past months you’ve been this ghost for Trevor. One that would constantly follow him. You were haunting him and know you’re finally being set free.
I know it won't work like that, huh?
It’s been years now. You don’t think about it often but every once in a while Trevor will pop into your mind. You’re happy. You really are. And from what you see on social media, Trevor is too.
You try not to dwell on it but sometimes you think about what might have been. What might have happened if you had gone back to Trevor. And honestly you aren’t sure. Maybe everything would’ve worked out and the two of you would be happily together right now. Or maybe it would’ve ended up being exactly what you thought would happen if you went back.
You truly believe you made the right decision in letting Trevor go. You knew it wouldn’t work the way he was envisioning. And hopefully you spared the both of you a lot of heartache.
You’re happy right now. That’s what matters. You and Trevor don’t talk much except for the occasional birthday message but maybe that was how it was supposed to be. You knew it wouldn’t work like that and you made the right decision, for you and for Trevor. You had and still have so much love for him and that’s all it’ll ever be. And you’re okay with that. You really are.
thanks for reading 🫶
good riddance fic series
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dps boys hcs! this has been requested of me! lets make it modern bc thatll be fun
- todd absolutely DESPISES "booktok" and its addiction to smut. can go on a VERY long rant abt how only reading things with sex scenes is, in fact, a porn addiction.
- knox has tried on many occasions to become an influencer, failing every single time and blaming it on the algorithm or whaver
- neil, type of mother fucker to not be on social media like at all. has one private instagram that he posts on maybe twice a year, and has a tiktok only to watch the videos todd intermittently sends him.
- ^^^ followed immediately by a text saying "i sent you a tiktok go look at it" which always sparks a mini argument about whether or not its easier to just save the video and text it to him. goes nowhere every time.
- meeks has fashion taste that makes him look insufferable, band tee's and the worst jeans you ever did see, exclusively. also modern meeks would have clear glasses frames.
- saw someone say charlie would vape, id like to add to that. has a COLLECTION of elf bars, its vast, its colourful, it's annoying, it's turning his coughs wet.
- pitts was a fast fashion guy for a total of 6 months before finding out all the shit about how unethical the industry is. didnt get rid of any of those clothes bc thats wasteful but he IS fighting for his life whenever anyone looks at his wardrobe.
- cameron is a BIG analog horror fan, local 58, walten files, fnaf tapes, thats his jam. can we popularise cam being a big horror fan in general bc im so attached to that hc. horror cam i love u.
- all the boys have a life360 circle (enforced by cam and pitts due to charlie's horrendous reckless driving) and todd CONSTANTLY needs to be yelled at the charge his phone.
- neil's phone is ANCIENT, had the same one for nearly a decade, and its evident. has a bigass crack right down the middle, the back is shattered and held together with tape, a phone case, and a dream. theres marks from shit burning into the screen, most notably a rectangle in the bottom corner from the billions of facetime calls with todd that ultimately set his phone on fire every time.
- todd is secretly a grade A yapper but ONLY in digital form. his online presence is VAST, but impressively anonymous. has a very active substack, letterboxd, poetry tumblr, and even started his own blog. no, not a tumblr blog, a blog blog.
- charlie's car is decked out in the most idiotic add ons that you can think of. comically large mirror dice, a bumper sticker that says "honk if you want me bad", stupid car door lights that project a photo of jimmy fallon onto the ground when u open them, the whole 9 yards. took neil, pitts, and cameron 20 minutes to talk him out of getting flame decals (as a bit.)
- knox refuses to play any other videogame besides GTA, which he plays concerningly often. if ur having trouble reaching him then odds are hes on GTA. its the only hobby of his that his parents know about. christmas is tough for the overstreets.
- meeks is well aware of his general ☝️🤓 demeanour so he started making jokes about it before anyone else can. any time he says anything remotely smart sounding then he MUST do the voice and put up a finger. it became a force of habit and he did it while talking to a teacher once, he left the room mortified.
- pittsie lives on spotify, he has a playlist for every possible emotion, over 3k liked songs, and 200k+ minutes listened when wrapped season rolls around. additionally he does every spotify stat game available, and forced the boys to download a spotify activity widget thing. (WHAT DO YALL KNOW ABT AIRBUDS ‼️‼️ add me @ monahatesya xoxo)
- cam loves to make jokes about DARE and the "this is ur brain on drugs" ads but he is, in fact, the main demographic of said ads. said this before, saying it now, will most definitely say it again, he is beyond susceptible to peer pressure. marijuana isnt a gateway drug for everyone but it certainly is for him.
bonus! chris and keating! just for you!
- chris is avoiding the lesbian masterdoc purely out of fear. not out of fear of being gay, but out of fear of the sheer amount of subsequent other things she'll likely also have to find out about herself.
- keating spends an inordinate amount of time on youtube, which nobody actually expects. big video essay fan, imagine the shock from the boys when he pulls up youtube for a lesson and he's halfway thru the 4 hour iBinged iCarly video. was previously a james somerton fan but considering... the james somerton part.. hes now a defunctland loyalist.
#desire mona#WHOO#i successfully remembered all the hcs that got deleted please clap#i forgot how fun these types of posts are#i luuuvvvv getting specific with it#also congrats swifties on the new album release personally i very much dislike her (for the carbon emission reasons not the misogyny reason#) but im glad yall are eating good#dead poets society#neil perry#todd anderson#charlie dalton#knox overstreet#steven meeks#gerard pitts#richard cameron#chris noel#john keating#banger
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Some Strangers (Part 3 to Someone Else) // (Marcus Pike x GN!Reader)
Word Count: 3219
Warnings: not even proofread in the slightest! I’m letting yall read this rawdawg
Summary: Last part babes! This is it, the grand finale of angst! Good luck to you all and sorry for any emotional turmoil this series may have caused you 😌
Marcus’s POV
I was offering her a life, a future, with me. Because I needed to fill the void in my heart, a void the shape of you. I wanted Teresa to fit void and I tried to make her fit but she didn’t and she knew she didn’t she knew she was competing with someone else, someone who wasn’t even around anymore. So she left, I don’t blame her, I’ve become a version of myself I hate. I destroyed what I had with you for a false future, a future that was built with you. I was selfish, I am selfish, I saw something new and shiny and thought it’d fulfill the future I had with you but that was the problem. The future I wanted was only possible with you. I not only ruined that but dragged another woman into this mess as well. She’ll be fine, Teresa was with me as a distraction from Patrick, an attraction that couldn’t be ignored. Now she’s with the man she wanted and I’m alone. I deserve the ache and pain I’m feeling, the heavy guilt that sits on my shoulders, I hate what I did and who I became.
I was able to start anew in Washington. The pain never left me but no one knew my horrific actions, the man who had been divorced once and later left his soulmate for a woman he barely knew all because she was new and exciting. I went to work and lived my life day-to-day quite ordinarily. Never socialized, I couldn’t hide my pain well enough to socialize or make friends. But this false sense of security came to a screaming halt when I was told I’d be returning to California for a case. There I’d face Teresa, who was happy with Patrick and the city where I made my biggest mistake.
As much as I hated the idea of going my heart leapt at the chance. You were there, I’d be close to you. I could visit you. I could, but I won’t. I know you don’t want to see me. When I think of you I’m reminded of how amazing you are and how much I love you but for you, I remind you of pain and heartbreak, that anyone can leave no matter how much you love them. I’m not just a ghost in your life but a haunting, a poltergeist. My actions haunt you every day, have changed your view of the world and yourself in the worst way possible, I’ve instilled fear in you.
I’ve arrived at my old office, I’m not working with Teresa’s team but God isn’t kind enough to spare me entirely.
“Can I help you?” an all too familiar voice asks, breaking me from the report I was filling out.
I turn to see him, Patrick Jane, the man Teresa left me for, the man she wanted me to be.
“Jane.”
“Mike… Hello,” he welcomes awkwardly, surprised at my presence, understandable.
“I’m uh here consulting on a case, was a last-minute assignment,” I explain, avoiding the elephant in the room.
“Beard looks good.”
He’s starting to piss me off, I don’t know what he wants, if he wants me to beg for information about Teresa and make him feel like more of a man but he’s already won. He’s got the girl of his dreams; Teresa, and I have lost mine; you.
“It’s for an undercover thing,” I pause, he wants to acknowledge the elephant in the room, “so, you and her?” I finally ask.
He makes his way closer, “Yeah, um, I’m sorry we’d- we didn’t intend for it to happen like this.” He almost seemed genuinely apologetic, something I didn’t expect, I thought I’d come back here a hated man, not a pitied one. “I know the last thing on her mind was hurting you.”
The words hurt because it's exactly what I did to you, unintentionally hurt you, I never wanted to hurt you.
“I know that,” I respond quickly, trying to get this over with as soon as possible, trying to forget the pain I feel while here. My eyes dart around the room looking for an escape but there is none.
I take a breath, Teresa and Patrick, the perfect couple, will probably live a picturesque life like the one you and I planned together before I burned it to the ground.
“So do you have a plan?” I ask, thinking about the future I promised you and then tried to force upon Teresa. My tone and demeanour have become more hostile, not at Jane but rather at myself for losing the future I wanted.
“I- I don’t really understand,” Jane plays dumb, he wants
“Well, I was offering her a life,” a life I planned and built with you, that I wanted to fulfill with you, “a home, a family if she wanted it,” a home I wanted to come home to, to see knick knacks you’d decorate the place with, a home where you’d be at ease. A family we made together, maybe kids running around with sticky fingers or just gathered friends and loved ones around our dining room table. “A future,” that only has meaning with you in it. “Have you thought about any of that?” Does Patrick think about the very real future he has with Teresa? Because I think about the future I could have had with you every damn day.
“I haven’t thought that far ahead yet,” Patrick answers.
He has a real potential future with Teresa, they’ve known each other for years, and he hasn’t thought about what their future may look like, while I still dream about what our future could have been. I look back when I first started thinking about the future with you in it and panicked because I thought I was moving too fast and that if I voiced my thoughts I’d scare you away. Little did I know that you were thinking the same thing, secrets we each kept until one fateful night months down the line.
If Patrick doesn’t think about his future… what is it he wants from her? “Well… what’re you offering her?” I ask quizzically, confused about how a couple can seem to love each other so furiously and not think about their future together. Maybe it’s because Jane has never had to worry about his future romantically, he believes people will always be banging at his door to get a taste, “I mean other than Patrick Jane,” I add with venom, angry at the situation I find myself in in comparison to Jane.
We don’t get any further as Teresa’s lone voice pierces the silent room.
“Hey,” she says politely announcing her presence, clearing looking for Jane.
Jane excuses himself, passing Teresa while whispering some cute pet name. Teresa scans the room nervously as I approach, wanting to talk without listening ears hearing, she has the same question Jane did when he realized it was me.
“What’re you doing here?” she asks.
“I’m consulting on a case, just had to fill out a deposition,” I finish with a sad sigh.
When I look at Teresa all I see is the pain in your eyes when I told you about her. Before, when I saw her and you disappeared from my mind, now? You’re all I can think about.
I don’t let her prolong the conversation, “anyway, it was good to see you, Teresa.”
“You too, Marcus,” she says meekly.
I acknowledge Jane with a curt nod and go to leave, happy to get out of the office. I'm about to reach the doorway and breathe a sigh of relief when Teresa calls out, “They’re still here,” she says with some urgency.
I stop in my tracks but don’t turn, I don’t know what she means yet or if she’s even talking to me, but then she says your name. I haven’t heard your name out loud in what feels like millennia, it’s sharp yet refreshing like ice. You don’t just live in my head, you’re still real, you still have a life to live that isn’t the fantasy in my head. I turn to look at Teresa, having so many questions I want to ask, to pick every bit of information she has about you but I don’t get the chance.
“I think it’d be good if you saw each other. Maybe buried the hatchet,” she says with a reassuring nod. Then she goes to the nearest table and begins writing on a scrap piece of paper. “I think you need it, the both of you,” she adds before joining Jane and leaving. The paper has a phone number. Your phone number.
– Second Person POV, Past –
Life had been… boring… grey without Marucs. You weren’t miserable, you’d found a new normal, a new baseline. You weren’t happy or sad, but not numb or robotic either… it was like you were just going through the days letting the wind blow you wherever but you also weren’t relaxed as that might suggest. You were in an in-between, neither here nor there. Until you’d gotten a text.
Your phone buzzed in the morning while you were getting ready for the day. The number wasn’t in your contact list but the message made it clear who it was from.
‘I thought you should know that Marcus and I have split. I’m telling you because he’s still living with the ghost of you, maybe you guys can work things out. -Teresa’
It felt like the text was supposed to bring you relief but it didn’t. It dwarfed you back to the melancholy feeling you were drawing in when Marcus first told you about Teresa. You didn’t think this was your chance to get him back, you didn’t feel bad that Marcus had made a mistake and still wanted you. You just felt small… your emotions were so big that you felt small.
You didn’t know what to say to her, you didn’t owe her anything but she wasn’t at fault for anything either. You settle on something that doesn’t focus on you, on what happened.
‘I’m sorry things didn’t work out for you. I wish you guys could’ve been happy.’
The text is heartbreakingly true. Marcus hurt you and you still loved him, always would, but because of that, you wanted him happy even if the cost was you. You accepted living a miserable life while watching him and Teresa get married, have kids, and grow old together, because at least then Marcus would still exist in your world even if you didn’t exist in his.
Nothing more came out of that text. You’re thankful for that. You got to truck on in your grey life and not be set back or thrown in a whirlwind.
– Second Person POV, Present –
As more time passed you healed. Your smile became less fake. You didn’t forget about Marcus but in a way… you did. Marcus didn’t rule over you as a gloomy cloud anymore. This was not a result thanks to you and you alone, you credit your therapist for a lot of it. Even though your therapist would tell you that you’re the one who sought therapy, that you’re the one who kept up with it, that you’re the one who did the work. And you 100% are that person, you are to thank them while also acknowledging the help their guidance provided.
You felt new like you’d broken out of the dead shell Marcus left you in. You’re on the way home from a decent day when you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket, you glance at it and see a number you don’t recognize. At first, you think it to be a scam but then your eyes skim the message and you know it’s not. You also know that whatever is within the text while requires your full attention so you pocket it and try not to overthink it for the time being.
You’re happy to get home, it finally feels like your safe space, the place where you're most comfortable. So once you drop your things you debate whether you settle in or read the text. You decide to settle in, you’ll feel better, you want to read it when the rest of the day and done. You unpack your bag and change while trying not to let your mind catch fire with anticipation.
Finally, you sit down and open the text.
‘I know this is random and we have no relation or obligations to one another but Marcus is in town. Patrick and I ran into him in the office, he’s in for a case. I’m not here to tell you that he looks miserable because he doesn’t but he’s… I don’t know, grown. And I know his actions still haunt him. I hope the two of you can meet, even just for coffee, to lay everything to rest.’
Her message is cordial and not pushy. It’s dawned on you since her last message that she’s so eager for you and Marcus to bury the hatchet because she saw his aftermath. You might have healed but he might not have, he might still have something to get off his chest. You don’t owe him anything to help him heal or clear his conscious. You don’t pity him or feel sympathy but you do still love and care about him, maybe not the same way you once did, but you still do nonetheless. You let out a loud sigh before you begin typing.
‘Do you have his number?’
‘No but I know how we can do this’
A little bit later you get a text from Teresa that tells you that you and Marcus will meet at a nearby lounge after work. From what she tells you, you think it sounds all too inconspicuous, like he’s being kidnapped but after some further discussion, it was the easiest way without getting anyone in trouble.
A few days later you find yourself putting more effort into your look. You tell yourself it isn’t for Marcus and it isn’t, you’re not trying to win him back with your looks, you just want to put your best foot forward with him. A small part of you is even excited, the old you that’s still with Marcus. Another louder voice is terrified. You think of him and worry that all you’ll be able to see and think about is how awful he left you, broke you. You put effort in to try and drown out the voices as well, you can’t feel bad when you look good right?
You make you’re way to the lounge at the set time, and see Marcus seated alone. You go to join him, your heart is in your throat and you suddenly feel nauseous. When Marcus sees you his eyes widen and he freezes for a moment before abruptly standing from his chair. He whispers your name in disbelief and his shocked reaction tells you that Teresa didn’t tell him you’d be showing up.
“Marcus,” a beat of silence, “I take it Teresa didn’t tell you I was coming?”
“N-no, no, she uh- said something about an agent and I meeting for a case, I-”
You can’t help but laugh at how nervous he is. You finally nod and explain, “yeah, no. That’s not what’s happening, umm, I was told you were in town and I was hoping we could meet and-” and what? I don’t know.
“Of course, yeah-” he agrees.
You smile, he looks good, he has some facial hair but it suits him. Then you realize that the two of you are standing awkwardly at a table, “guess I’ll take a seat,” you tease yourself.
Marcus moves and says he’ll help you, “oh no, I got it, don’t worry, sit down,” you reassure.
Finally, the two of you are seated and there is an awkward silence. Both of you try to start a conversation at the same time.
“Oh, sorry, you go ahead,” the both of you say at the same time. Which ends up in the both of you laughing.
Marcus feels his heart come to life again when he hears your laugh. He doesn’t realize how much he missed this, misses you. But if he is honest he knows he doesn’t deserve your smile, your laugh, your love. After, what he did he doesn’t deserve you, he doesn’t expect you to want him back either. Life feels more colourful than usual when he sees you but a part of his chest aches because he knows that this is no longer his, all because of him.
“How have you been?” you ask with a smile.
“Uh, good… I guess”
“You guess?”
“Yeah, I just… there’s been a lot going on between the move and then work and- you know, just busy,”
You nod solemnly, “I’m sorry about you and Teresa by the way. I really did want it to work out for you,”
Marcus can’t help but look away, filled with guilt.
“Yeah I don’t think I wanted wanted it to work with her…” he says quietly.
“What?” you ask with your brows furrowed.
Marcus looks away and clearly becomes nervous, “I didn’t want Teresa as Teresa. I… we got together and all I wanted was for her to be you. That… that was what ended our relationship, I was trying to make her into someone she wasn’t because she isn’t who I wanted.”
Oh, you think. “Oh…” you say aloud upon realization.
Marcus nods guiltily, “yeah… I hurt you and dragged another woman into the mess all for… something I still can’t quite understand.”
“Marcus… I’m sorry but we can’t- I’m just not-,” you sigh, “we can’t just get back together,” you explain painfully, both because you are reminded of the pain he caused and because it feels like you’re saying ‘good-bye’ to him again.
“Oh no no! I wasn’t implying that- I just, I needed you to know that… there was nothing ever wrong with you. You had everything I wanted and for some reason… I tried finding that in another woman…” Marcus explains.
You nod, a heavy silence covering the both of you.
“So are you staying or going to be around for a while?” you ask Marcus curiously.
“I’m not sure, until the case is solved for sure but… afterwards… I’m not quite sure what I’m doing,” Marcus scoffs at himself.
“Well… don’t stay away because of me.” you say softly, “I was able to find my peace and you deserve that too… and maybe if you’re going to be around for a while we can find time like this every now and again, and just get the closure we both need.”
Marcus’s eyes light up at the thought of seeing you again and his chest aches at the thought of being so close to you, living in the same city, but not being able to love you how he wants. He looks at you and sees a new person, a bright, smiling, lively person who isn’t letting their past haunt them and Marcus knows that that means the door for him is closed. It hurts but he doesn’t fault you, you deserve it and like you said, maybe he does too.
(A/N: don't forget to join my taglist or just let me know if you wish to be added since not everyone tagged is in my taglist!)
Taglist: @spideysimpossiblegirl @littlemisspascal @writer-darling @avengetheunnatural @currentobsessionrabbithole @harriedandharassed @alberta-sunrise @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi @jediknight122 @thirddeadlysin @kirsteng42 @theredwritingwitch @wildemaven @tuquoquebrute @louderfortheback @trey-18 (also tagged those that were so kind about the first/second part!)
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I'm honestly not bothered by Portwell's shipping Mack and Gina because they are doing exactly what I expected lol. Portwell's have always been very transparent.
I remember posting on here during season 3 if people ship Gina and EJ because they actually like them or if they just did it because it kept Ricky and Gina apart, it certainly seemed like the latter to me. The reason for making that post was because I got the feeling that many Portwell's were just undercover Rini's shipping Gina and EJ together because of the same fact that it meant keeping Ricky and Gina away from each other. I got some responses to that post denying that was case and that they actually really did like Portwell for legit reasons, which is fair enough. However, after the season 3 finale and the way it ended with Ricky and Gina kissing, my suspicions seemed justified because Portwell's started posting the Rini finale kiss from season 1 comparing the two. Even that hqportwell twitter page was tweeting about Rini and Portwell's liking a bunch of Rini posts, the likes are visible to the public people if your account isn't private lol.
Also, after season 3 all I saw from Portwell's was that the show made Gina totally different from season 2 and that she was not the same. Mind you these comments were only made once she broke up with EJ and kissed Ricky, funny that. If you actually cared about Gina as a character and actually understood her you would realize she was not her actual self in season 2. I mean, Gina had a song called Balance in season 3 where she mentions that the real her is going to shine, not the old her (season 1) or the 2.0 her (season 2) but the combined version. Also Sofia even mentioned in an interview how Gina wasn't herself in season 2, she knows her character better than anyone else. Let's be honest, yall only liked her in 2b once she cut off Ricky because it meant she was no longer a threat to Rini. Even during season 3 I remember people shipping Ricky with Jet and Val but once the show started hinting at him and Gina again it changed, all of a sudden it was Ricky needs therapy before he is with someone else lol. If Ricky needs therapy before getting in another relationship because of his home life, why was it/is it not the same for EJ? Is his relationship with his dad not terrible and strained? He should be in therapy as well according to yall instead of being in a relationship. This way of thinking is also very dumb, to suggest that someone who needs or is in therapy can't also be in a relationship or in love.
So, this was a long way of saying that I'm not surprised that Portwell's/Rini's/Jolivia's are shipping Gina with Mack because they have always been very transparent. They don't care about Gina or her happiness, they care about her not being with Ricky be any means necessary. This was obvious by immediately blaming Gina for everything during and after season 3 while believing EJ handled everything perfectly. Once Gina was not paired with EJ anymore, propping him up or giving him more screen time they went back to hating her. I know it can be annoying for some people to see Gina being shipped with Mack but try not to let it get to you, they refused to see or just didn't understand the story the show was telling with Ricky and Gina since the homecoming episode. This fandom has a big media literacy problem.
While I love Rina, Gina is more than just who she is with. I think she is the best character on the show, she is super talented and a star. I'm excited too see the show finally dive into more detail on her home life with her mom and how that has affected her.
I seem to always go on a tangent and these posts end up being longer then I intended them to be lol My apologies. Thanks for reading all of this if you did.
#hsmtmts#ej and gina#gina and ricky#ricky bowen#rina#ej caswell#highschoolmusicalthemusicaltheseries#gina porter#ricky x gina
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I'm back and I'm so sorry! I won't make any promises for the last 2 ep of the Winchesters, but I will be reviewing/rewatching them anyways just ... who knows when, I dont!
But let's get started on You've got a Friend 1x11.
I hopefully will be a bit less rambly since O have a draft of my thoughts already written for this and its less... as Im watching (i can post that too if yall wanna but dunno if ull understand my handwriting)
We begin where we left off and I love that we have this scene of them needing to clean up, adds realism, adds dimension to the world. Love also that we begin with Lata being the Lata we all love - dejected in this case about her chimera paw was ruined. Queue Carlos with the teasing. The 2 of em banter a bit before Mary redirects us all to the matter at hand.
And Mary has come a long way in these episodes, because she may not join the banter (still closed off somewhat as opposed to Carlos and Lata's easy repartee) but she is going off of it and adding them into her area of interest.
But all stops when John come in blood soaked and in shock - Mary instantly worried he might be hurt, but nope, not this time.
I am so happy to see them portray the actual shock and numbness John is feeling, then the guilt and sadness, just all the reaction to Kyle's death really. And considering the survivor's guilt John is lugging around, it makes it even more heartbreaking. I also love seeing that Mary is the level headed one here - she,.imo, is clearly pushing down the grief to focus on John's issues here, hell we see very little of her grieving in this episode and everytime we do, she's quick to redirect that feeling into action - sometimes into violence point blank. She does it here, asking what the Akrida could want, she does it even moreso with Millie, where she does open up a bit since Millie is offering comfort, but then it turns into Millie coming with a plan which directly leads to Mary wanting to storm the police station guns blazing and the ep ends with Mary and John discussing Kyle (also god Mary looks absolutely exhausted here, fuck) but Mary derails it by saying they need to find Dean instead. She's def not allowing herself the moment to deal with Kyle's death which may prove relevant when discussing next episode.
I'd forgotten this ep was the Lata episode. Like ep 8 was Carlos', this one is Lata's. And god does it hurt.
1st, move the feather boa, Carlos!
2nd, I do genuinely believe Lata and Maggie were together. Everything in this episode points that way to me (but especialy the sweetpea nickname) We'll round back to this though.
The other thing we note in the sequence in Maggie's room is how close Carlos and Lata are to each other. Which we knew, but I always love seeing it again in action.
Before we continue with the emotional core of this ep, we have to get back to plot with Betty! I love Betty..I also can't blame her for being ....hesitant to say the least. Like imagine what she's seen so far: the guy who, before leaving to the marines illegally, proposed to her, is suddently interacting with, apparently, imfamous Mary Campbell, who is seen at several murder/investigation scenes suddenly appears ro have killed someone? And she already knows John had anger issues before hand. Like i get her here. And still shes trying to be nice while doing her job.
Which leads me to the next part, her job. So the detective... he's wording (even with him being really Akrida) echoes a lot of corrupt cop rethoric which only gets further emphasized when he later threatens to have John... killed 'accidently'. And, on top of them, speaking pf policw corruption even a 'good cop' like Betty becomes complicit simply because of the power the Akrida gained via the detective role cuz she was unwittingly helping them throughout.
But god, was John a bit too cocky here. (My notes have this marked as "this is why you let villains monologue, John!"). Especially since he actually doesn't have any info on Dean. (Love that we see the pic of Dean, missed him) l.
Meanwhile Lata and Carlos have found the bracelet and it's fucked them over. Also, I fucking hate the shadows thing, very creepy. Also also it reminds me of the daeva that Meg uses in s1 of SPN. I'm also reminded of SPN with the story the detective tells John about how they'll get rid of him - SPN's own crooked cop ep featured exactly this sorta plan too, but in killing Dean.
Really though, the main thing I found interesting upon rewatch is just how much Lata is our Dean mirror in this one. Specifically, in getting targeted by the bracelet she's forced to relive a trauma (Sania's death) via Carlos acting as substitute, only this time she succeeds where prior she thought she failed (which lemme make clear, no, Lata was at no point and in no way at fault, but she did internalize that guilt - much like Dean tends to internalize guilt) . Which Dean, much like Lata ends up doing when getting involved with this universe, ends up reliving a trauma (his parents death - Mary especially) of something he failed, in his mind, to prevent/save via rescuing this universe's Mary. And much like Lata, who can't undo what happened to Sania, but can "begin to make it better" (the Hey Jude line just hit me so I had to use it), so too can Dean. It won't change what happened in his life, wont save his mom, but it will help him heal nonetheless.
Adding to this Maggie? Who opperates as a Cas parallel here - she was Lata's person, who shared everything with Lata but Lata couldn't in turn for fear of judgement/shame, who notably is dead and thus Lata can't ever reveal her secret to. Well, it hurts is what it does.
But watching this I noticed another interesting thing though, for all that the bracelet seems to work like Osiris (pulling on the guilt the person feels is most agregious), the bracelet actually seems to want the wearer to get out. Carlos is taken just as Lata begins wondering which secret it's trying to make her face and is sent to Sania's room - direct answer. Then later,.even more blatant, using Maggie's face, tries to get Lata to disclose the secret, but Lata talks around it instead til the creature takes her too.
It seems like Erebus had a test for his warriors, one he wanted them to win.
Throughout all of Lata's story, I was seething. I truly hate her family and Carlos was 100% saying exactly what I was thinking.
Another thing I appreciated though, about Carlos, is the emotional maturity. Yes they were dying and yes it was urgent that Lata disclose her secret but Carlos made certain to reassure her throughout. Tried to give her as much space as possible.
In other thoughts, Lata's mom making that "vs family" distinction, uuuh it rattled sth in me only to them have Lata say "my parents would never look at m the same way"? In the Dean Winchester show? God, the echoes of John's shitty parenting were deafening. Bur yes to eveything Carlos said. It truly wasnt Lata's fault.
And I adore also the ending conversation between Lata and Carlos (both wearing blue and god I want Carlos' coat) because yes, this kind of stuff shouldn't be forced out on anither persons whim. Lata doesn't have to tell John and Mary anything, it is her story to tell, but also yes, Carlos is right to reassure her that if she wants to share it with them, they'll likely react well like he did. And yes the reason this particular scene hit so hard is partially personal, but because of that it drove me insane in SPN where there was a tendency for people to push other to open up at their own whim (and yes, Sam did it often to mutiple people, hounding them until they cracked and spilled whatever trauma they were trying to deal with but then have nothing to give in return, no comfort or even really reaction, and yes he most of all did it to Dean a lot and it did puss me off) So yea, love this episode for the Lata and Carlos of it all!
Also I have a few questions, when Millie was trying to convince Betty about the supernatural, at one point she said "it's not like-" and cut off. She was trying to defend against the accusation of 'playing make believe). Also, Betty says sth like "Mary, I expected.this from" with relation once more to her not believing in monsters soooo.... has Mary ever been taken in under suspicion of being delusional? Was Millie? Or John?! I've questions ok i need y'alls opinions on this one.
Also, I would've soo cracked if the Akrida asked about Dean, cuz I def miss him a lot and id fucking gush about him at that point.
Anyways, that's it for this one. See you guys next time where we'll be clowning (have I mentioned I hate clowns?)
@noybusiness thanks for push earlier this month, i needed that a lot and thanks for the support for this rewatch ❤
@shallowseeker thanks the new posts, been inspiring me to get back to writing this ❤
#spnwin#spnwin rewatch#spnwin 1x11#also yea it wasnt much shorter than my usual#which is a problem since it fucking 3.30am here and ive work tomorrow#oh well#it was fun tho
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Hi I was wondering if you could do an Eddie Munson x Fem!reader where their in the reader ends up being one of the victims for vecnas curse and Eddie is trying to save her but it can either end up with it being a fail or him actually saving her but you can choose. If you can't do this, I understand. I just wanted to ask.
Don't leave me! Eddie munson x reader
Tw:mention of family member death, car crash.
Note: I have a diego hargreeves request in the works :) gif not mine
If yall want to see a version of where the reader doesn't survive, let me know 👀)
Y/N had been dating Eddie for a few months now, they met in middle school and loved each other so much. She almost graduated without him, if it wasn't for the Loss of her mother. It took a toll on Y/N, she didn't go to school, and rarely took care of herself. She blamed herself for it. She wished she had walked her mother to the shop, even though the woman insisted she shouldn't since she'd be late for DND.
Eddie knew she blamed herself. He tried telling her every day that she didn't need to. That it wasn't her fault. But vecna convinced her otherwise. She had been getting nosebleeds and headaches for the past day. She hid them from the others though. She blamed her illusions on her spacing out. He couldn't get max, so he was trying to go for her next.
Eddie made her promise to tell her everything after Chrissy died. " I will, " She told him. Technically, she didn't say 'I promise '. That's how she saw it. She had gotten back to Eddie's trailer with the others, everyone calming down after being in the upside down and Nancy's scare. It was late and everyone was tired.
"You ok ?" Eddie asked Y/N as he wrapped an arm around her waist. She stood in his room, looking at all the tapes, the memories from photos. She wanted to see them again in case vecna got to her " yeah I'm good " Y/N smiled at him. She gently kissed his cheek and wrapped her arms around his torso. Eddie of course returned the hug, resting his chin on her head " are you sure? You seem a bit off lately " He asked her. He was worried for her. He didn't know if it was vecna or not but surely she'd tell them.
" I'm fine Eddie" She reassured him. They stayed like that for a few moments before she broke away from the hug hearing Dustin calling for them. She took his hand in his and walked out of the bedroom, heading out the trailer door behind the others. She felt a shiver going down her spine once she was outside. Not from the cold, but like someone was watching her.
She glanced behind and swore she saw her dad across the trailer park. She let go of Eddie's hand, causing him to stop walking. "What's wrong ?" He asked her, getting the other's attention. " I think I saw my dad, I'm gonna go see if I'm right," she told him. She began to walk away when he rushed after her "are you sure ?" He asked her. He didn't want to leave her, after what happened at his trailer he had become more clingy. " I'm sure. He's probably visiting a friend that lives near here. I know where Max's trailer is. I'll be fine " she reassured him, placing a hand on his cheek.
Eddie sighed quietly before kissing her hand, flashing a smile at her " alright then " He smiled. He kissed her head gently before turning around and walking after the others. Y/N turned around herself and jogged over to the figure who sure enough was her dad. "Dad!" She smiled happily as he turned around. He smiled brightly at her and held her gently in a hug once she was close enough.
"Whatcha doing out here ?" She asked him, closing her eyes in the hug. "Mourning " He responded, deadpanned. Y/N pulled away and looked at him " mourning mom out here?" She asked confused. " of course your unbothered by that. You probably don't care she died. You did let it happen after all " Her dad told her. She backed up with tears in her eyes. What- dad what the fuck?!" She yelled as she backed up.
Y/N noticed something out of the corner of her eye that made her heart drop. Vecna. She slowly backed up before she began sprinting towards the forest. Shit. Yet her actual body had stood still in the real world. Eddie glanced out the window in concern, she had been gone for quite a while now. His eyes winded in fear seeing her just standing there " no no no " He mumbled in horror. He ignored Dustins confused yells and sprinted outside.
OnceEddiee got close he began yelling out " Y/N? He,y what's wrong?" He asked. He had a horrible feeling he knew what was happening, he was just hoping he was wrong. Maybe she spaced out where she stood. He felt his heart drop once he walked around to face where she stood. His heart sunk seeing her eyes.
" no, no baby you can't leave me too. Don't do this, please. Come on you can fight him!" Eddie told her in a panic, hands cupping her face. He felt his heart beating fast. Tears welled up in his eyes as he looked behind him, Dustin running over confused. "Dustin! Get a-ametallicaa tape and a tape player!" He yelled in tears. Dustin instantly knew why and ran back to the others, screaming for their help.
Eddie looked back at Y/N shaking her gently. "Babywakee up, please, wake up!" He told her as he shook her more. He was scared, he didn't want to lose her
Back in the other world, Y/N was running for her life into the woods, her heart dropping seeing everything turn red. What was this place? Why were their vines and a door? She let out a small scream feeling s vine wrap around her neck, pulling her back against a vine-covered pillar. "Y/N" Venca growled out as he approached her.
Sobs left Y/Ns throat as she watched him in fear as he was soon standing in front of her " your suffering, ends today " He told her. This was it. She'd never get to hear Eddie's voice again. She felt her body shake asvencaa reached out towards her. Suddenly, she heard a guitar, a familiar tune being played
Master of puppets
She looked to her left and saw a portal opening up. There she stood, headphones on, Eddie holding her close as her body tried to float up, his grip stopping her, their friends watching in worry. She had to get out. She looked back atvecnaa and glanced around for something. Then she noticed, her neck was the only thing being held down. Y/N used all her strength to send a kick to vecnas torso, knocking the wind out of him, and loosening the vines. She took it as an opportunity and began running.
She felt her heart racing as the song continued to play, Eddie's sobs mixed in, making her even more determined to reach him. She stumbled as things fell around her, but her eyes stayed focused on one thing only. Eddie.
She was just there, she reaches out towards the portal and-
Y/N took in a gasp of air feeling herself back in her body. Eddie pulled away slightly, a relieved sob escaping his throat as he gently holds her. He guides her to the ground and moves the headphones down around her shoulders, the song faintly still able to be heard. "It's ok, your here, I got you baby "He whispered to her as he rocked the two of them, the others sighing in relief.
Y/N held onto him as she shook in fear, sobbing as her breath kept getting caught in her throat, her heart pounding in her ear. The others decided to back off for a few moments, giving the two room and space for Eddie to calm her down. They retreated to Max's trailer but stood outside so they could keep an eye on the two.
"Baby breathe, I've got you "Eddie reassured her, gently running his hand up and down her back. She listened to his words as she clung to the back of his denim jacket. "I'm sorry!" She repeated against sobs. She should have told him. "None of that now princess, I got you, " He told her gently, kissing the top of her head. They'd be alright. Eddie was going to make sure of it.
#eddie stranger things#eddie x reader#eddie munson#eddie munson x reader#stranger things#agnst#vecna stranger things#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson imagine
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So!!! I'm making a fic for @oobbbear 's gang au fic! I originally was gonna make it a one shot but I figured out it would take too long to make to be one, so I decided to make it multi-chapter! I'm truly excited and hope yall like it as well! The only warning I'd put would be for the swearing, but it isn't too bad on this one compared to other pieces of mine!!
(The main difference between sun and moon's dialog is that I didn't put capitals on moon's if you get confused)
You were no one. No one, really! You were good with knifes and a... good temper, so that made you a valuable member of the gang! But aside of that, what? No one. No one waited at home for you, and your family thought you died long ago.
But it wasn't that bad you know? Not now at least. It allowed you to avoid doing a facade, to work and earn money fairly so the government wouldn't suspect shit. But you were dead for them! So you could spend days at a time just chilling at the base or planning things with your comrades. You even got a raise eventually! They called you Knifes, just for funsies.
And, eventually, you even liked that! It had its good side... yeah, really cute and all.
You remember clearly when you decided to follow your bosses. Why? One, you were bored. Two, you were a pissy bastard. And you weren't going far, really, you promised to yourself you were gonna go somewhere else later to just mess around.
Also, why would they hide if they were doing something about the gang? In the worst case, you'd help, wouldn't you? You had, in the end, a name there. They heard of you. They must have, didn't they?
So you did. You weren't easy to catch, but you weren't openly hiding from them. If they just looked the right way, they'd see you. Why be suspicious? You had no need.
But then you lost them, they separated. You decided to go Sun's way, you guessed that, at the very least, if you woke up their wrath, he'd be a little less cruel. It was Moon, in the end, the one with the reputation of being the colder brother.
So you followed, and then you lost him. You were confused, but searched for Sun. You gave up like 20 minutes later; not gonna lie, you weren't patient and you guessed that they could take care of themselves in case anything happened. And it wasn't your job either to protect them, so no one should blame you if the worst happen.
You went to the nearest shopping mall, and sat at a little chair in the middle. You could get something to eat and then nap. Pretty flexible work schedule, honestly, though you could at all time get shot or kidnapped, but every job had its downsides!
Then something caught your eye. Huh, pretty lady over there. You thought to go and flirt, but giving it a closer look, you noticed something was... off. But you approached either way. You pretended to walk at their side and "accidentally" you hit their shoulder. Then you saw the face.
OH MY FUCKING GOD-
-...Sun? -you asked, tilting your head.
Oh, oh no, please, don't you DARE laughing- no.... NO...
You kept the straight face, being helped by the eyes of the yellow dressed animatronic. He was deadly serious, truly, and even seemed to be considering your fate right now. Uh oh, a big no no for you was exactly that look. You've seen it before, somewhere else, directed towards someone else, in a different time. That person ended up dead. You, yourself, were one of the present that saw the light go off on their eyes. Pretty literally.
-...who?
You smiled with your characteristic grin, and shook your head no. -Nothing, fella, sorry.
You pat his shoulder as an apology and left at a hurried pace to your home. No, not your home. Maybe you were being followed. Hold on. If it was indeed Sun, you shouldn't go to the gang, maybe it would be worst. If you went to your home, you wouldn't be safe there anymore. But where? Where would you go? You were no one, in the end.
But it was a good thing! Prolly they -Sun nor Moon- wouldn't remember you. If you were no one, no one could hurt you. You were gonna be fine.
But you did had some important shit on your house and in your room at the gang base. So you had to go.
First you went to the base, in a rush but not trying to be suspicious. You took your things, had a small talk with your roommate and left. No further problem, you were alright. Now to your house.
You went taking the way you didn't usually used, extra long and extra complicated -the first time you used that way you got lost and ended up at the other side of the town-, and went to your little apartment. Third floor, you wouldn't die if you fell off the window -some broken bones? Yes, but you could flee easy enough-, and not that easy to break into by the window like the first or second floor. And some vines from the apartment upstairs fell down to a height where you could jump safely. A good spot, really. The only downside was that your apartment was too small and had only two rooms, for the bathroom and everything else. A pathetic attempt of a functional kitchen -a little fridge, a microwave and a little cabinet for some things. (You were okay with that)-at the right, your bed at the left and straight ahead was the living room. And in a corner, the bathroom.
-Not real pretty, huh?
You thought you said that out loud. You did not.
Moon was sat in the window sill, staring at you directly with one of your cactus at hand -you kept it having in mind to throw it to intruders before doing your escape-, while Sun was standing in front of your little nightstand, with a polaroid photo in his hand. His rays were orange turning red, in contrast of the bright yellow when you saw him just some hours ago. Yeah, you were dreaming.
Sun -at Moon's left- put a hand on his hip and waved the photo like a trophy. Fuck no.
-Is this you? -he said, looking at it again-, I must say that in contrast, you've... gotten better. Physically.
-...pathetic -Moon hissed.
-I was around 13 on the picture, sir -you saluted with both hands behind you. Oh, fuck, you got arms crossed instead. Didn't want to be nor do a threat either.
-It is blurry either way -Sun simply said, dropping it in the nightstand again.
-And what do I owe you two sirs, for this visit? I must apologize for not having a comfortable couch, but may I offer you some tea?
-there's no kettle nor a stove to boil the water -Moon said in a whisper. He seemed too annoyed with the fact of even being there. Oh fuck, you noticed what he was doing. You couldn't escape by the window now.
-Cold tea? Or cold coffee, if you will. I think I have milk if you desire to-
-are you mocking us? -Moon hissed.
-What? No, sir. I was just trying to be a fine host. I'm afraid this is not... a decent place to have such honourable visits. Care if we go somewhere else?
-Why? Are you hiding something here?
-As I said, it wouldn't be too comfortable for you. Not even for me is, honestly -you shrugged. Please don't get nervous; please don't touch those photos anymore, please...
-do you think we are softies or weak? -Moon wasn't taking you too well.
You shook your head no and shrugged again. -It was just an offering, sir. Yet again, why do I owe you the visit, sir?
The two celestial beings stared quietly, like talking with each other telepathically about what they'd do to you. You swallowed hard. No, not nervous, not nervous...
-is this the one, Sun? -Moon hissed.
Sun slowly nodded, and Moon gave a grin, while taking a gun out of his pocket with the left hand, still holding the cactus with the other. His twin got to you in two large steps and you standed still. If you learned something from being in the gang, you shouldn't try to refuse or fight from whatever they want to do to you. If you backed off or try and hit him, one would shoot or the other would hit you twice as hard back.
The yellow twin registered you, and took a knife out of your pocket. -What is this? Do you use this at the gang?
-I use knifes at work, yes, sir. I'm known for being skilled at it, you can ask my acquaintances there.
-Think you are too smart, huh? -he said, and threw a knife back, at Moon's feet.
-they must have more -the animatronic holding the gun said.
They kept on searching, finding little or bigger knifes everywhere. In your socks, on your shoes and on your shirt -a lot of them. -Is this it?
-One more -you said, taking one out of your scalp-, now that is it. Sir.
Sun raised a mechanical brow, and sighed. -Very collaborative, it seems.
-You are my boss after all, sir. I don't see a reason to be scared or uncolaborative towards you.
-We could kill you in the spot even if you are obedient.
-I died for everyone the day I joined the gang, sir.
-You do not care of dying? -Sun said, tilting his head.
-Of course I do. But I lived happily alongside the gang. If I died in your hands, it would be worth.
-We could toss you to the dogs or drop you somewhere else to a pathetic little death -he got his face too near to yours you were afraid of breathing too heavily.
-or we could torture you for days at a time -Moon hissed.
You hugged your arms as an answer. You were covered in scars of the... experience you had over the years on the gang. You weren't exactly tortured for days, but you weren't afraid.
-I see.
-and if we ask you something, and we were the enemy, what do you do?
You tilted your head, eyes drifting off over the room, and walked towards your kitchen. -Be silent and fight. As you already took all my knifes, probably I would get one to throw at you from here and cover with the aisle.
-I could hit you before you got there.
-And I would kick you or stab you. My nails are sharp enough, I guess.
A moment of silence.
-... go on -Moon whispered, lowering the gun for a second.
-Then maybe I could throw one of this -a sharp chopstick, you used to sharpen them when you were bored-, and maybe could hit you or the gun, if I aim well maybe it would get stuck and prevent you from shooting.
-You are very confident of your skills. What when I get up or attack you? I have a gun, too.
-I would already be running, sir. Maybe use a human shield or use their weapon without the chopstick to shoot, or throw the chopstick itself. Then I'd jump off the window and cut the vines so you can't follow me safely.
-We're animatronics -Moon said-, we wouldn't break our bones.
-Good point. But even then, you can get scratched. Or hurt yourself. And if you were escaping, it would at least slow you down enough.
Sun nodded. Then Moon closed the window, then leaning back on the glass, arms crossed. Then you noticed. You told them your plan to escape in case you wanted to. Geez. You fucked up real bad.
But then you breathed down slowly. You had nothing to fear. It was a test, wasn't it? They were rational beings.
-Where were you some hours ago? -Sun asked.
-I just came back from the base, sir. I thought that as I don't have any mission these days, I might as well take a break here, in my home. I went to take everything I wanted and missed.
-and before that, where? -Moon hissed. He was running out of patience, it seemed.
-I was at a mall, sir.
-Why? You don't seem the kind of person to go somewhere without a reason. You weren't having a walk.
-I wanted to buy some things to eat before I headed home, sir.
-And where are they? -Sun hissed, though it was more of a growl.
-I ate them, sir.
-so if we make you vomit, we'd see -Moon whispered, and you saw his fingers twitch.
-Is there something specific you wish to ask, sir? Pardon my frankness, but I feel it's too much to be just casual conversation about me and what I've done today. Without tea, too.
They stood quiet for some while. You didn't knew how long, but it felt like minutes at a time, so much you were getting tired of being in that position.
-Did you follow us? Did you see Sun some hours ago?
-Is there something I shouldn't have seen, sir?
You tilted your head and Moon hissed. Sun was strangely quiet, honestly, crossed arms like that, and his shoulders seemed wider. Geez, they knew how to intimidate. It wasn't working though.
-Pardon me again, sir, but I think I may have saw Sun in a dress. Though I'm not sure? I asked if they were Sun, and didn't seem to know who it is.
They stared silently. Then you sighed with a polite grin. -I don't think I saw anything bad, honestly, sir. You looked hella fine, pardon my indiscretion.
Sun stayed silent.
-i think i should teach you to avoid being followed -Moon sighed.
-We have something more important here, brother -Sun growled-, what shall we do with this little lamb?
-you should not have seen it -Moon was now talking to you-, this is such a disgrace...
-It is not, in my opinion, sir.
-Excuse us?
-I don't think wearing a dress is something bad.
They stayed silent. Then Sun sighed. -You seem like a very capable member of our gang. It would be a shame if we got rid of you like this.
-so we will be watching you. closely.
-You shall NOT talk to anyone about what you saw.
-or you won't be missed.
You nodded. -I understand, sir.
They stared and Sun made a gesture with his hand, towards the rest of the room. -Now, go on. Get comfortable. You can pick up your knifes.
-you were going to stay home, didn't you?
-I-... sir...?
-We are staying, little lamb.
-either that or we take you to our home. and we will not be doing that.
-Sir, I doubt that it would be any appropriate to have you here like this. May I at least go buy some tea or something?
-we don't drink, stupid.
-Oil, then? If that's what you drink.
Sun sighed, suppressing a grin. -You seem to want us to leave, maybe?
-No, sir. If you do stay because of my mistakes, I think the right thing to do would be to get you two comfortable.
They stood quiet. It seemed they liked silence sometimes, huh? Anyways, Moon sat down, cross legged, at the window, staring silently at the cactus. By noticing your gaze, he looked back at you. -i'm comfortable enough, thank you.
You grinned, suppressing a laugh. You'd never think he'd talk that softly, and with etiquette? Oh god, what have you gotten into?
-I'm glad, then.
You stood there, playing with your fingers rhythmically, waiting to Sun to sit down or something, at least. And he did, eventually, and you loosen your shoulders. Below the brother's gaze, one sat and one leaning into the wall, you started picking up the knifes they threw to the ground, and left them, one by one, in their designated places when you were home. In the wall or in the pieces of furniture you had. It was a kind of tradition in your house, to hide them close enough so that at all time you could pick one up, whatever the situation was; but you made sure the two brothers perfectly saw where every single one was, also explaining why you hid them. And why you kept one on your hands.
-You aren't trying to be a menace, are you, little lamb? -Sun giggled sarcastically. You weren't THAT dumb to actually try to kill or hurt them. Anyone but them, really.
-No, sir -you said, carefully cleaning it with a specific piece of cloth you always washed up-, I'm just maintaining it. I imagine you two have someone do it for you. This one is my favourite.
-Why? Is it sharper?
-or did anyone gifted you so?
-...Yes, sir. Both are right -you said, snorting amused.
-Are you gonna tell the story?
You thought for a second, tapping fingers on your chin rhythmically. -That one.
You pointed at the photos they were seeing before. Then silence.
-i'm sorry for your lost.
-Hm?
-you said you died for everyone the day you joined.
You stood silent for a second, giving them your back as you rotated the knife. -Oh! Oh. I mean, it... isn't what you think. They aren't dead... probably.
-What do you mean? -Sun was... confused. You walked towards the photo and cleaned it while staring at the picture of you two.
-I... we lost touch, I'd say. I don't even know where they are. It's been years.
You put down the photo, with the part of the back towards the ceiling.
-you haven't tried searching for them? -Moon asked in a whisper. You moved around the room, cleaning while you spoke.
-I did. At the beginning it was... yeah, I think you know what I mean. Then I had to move on.
Enough.
You weren't gonna share more. You've went too far, you overshared.
-Anyhow, let's not focus on sad stories like that. May I offer you anything? I'll do my best to get it.
-Foolish -Sun said-, we can get anything we want. Why would we ask YOU to get it?
-for fun, Sun.
You stood quiet. Sun just shrugged quietly, making his earrings sound. It reminded you of a quiet giggle, almost.
-Changing the topic, what do you think I saw?
-Excuse us?
-You stay because of something I saw. You don't want me to spread the word, if I had to take a wild guess. But what, specifically?
-You know perfectly well what -Sun growled, tensing and making you feel you fucked up.
-It’s just a question, sir. I didn't see anything wrong.
Moon stared with narrowed eyes, while Sun stayed silent in place. -Pardon me yet again, but... I don't think that you wearing a dress were something unworthy.
Sun tilted his head, silent but confused. You took it as a "go on".
-A long time ago, men used dresses and used pink as something considered masculine, I believe, and men used skirts in many cultures, and used heels to symbolize their status and stuff.
They were staring quietly. They didn't answer verbally, nor negatively, so you continued. What you were saying was wrong? No. Then you shouldn't fear.
-What I mean is... I don't think... -it was hard to pick up the right words-, I don't think that we should shame people for "fashion" or "stereotypes", because those changes every hundred years or so. And if wearing dresses makes you happy, I'll personally kick whoever says you shouldn't. And I have some pretty hard ass shoes, with spikes and all.
That last thing made Sun grin. Moon stared, without watching you, like processing what you just said. The sunlight seemed a bit warmer.
You broke it, walking towards the kitchen. The brothers just stared, asking silently what you were doing.
-I'm going to make a tea or something. I don't think you like being asked again, but may I get you something, please, sir?
They shook their head no, and you took a tea bag and started boiling water.
"Moon?"
"what."
"Do you... think they mean it?"
"About the kick"
"Yeah, that too, but I specifically mean what they said about the dresses"
"...maybe. maybe not. i have no way of knowing, sun"
"They... I think it'll not be pure suffering being alongside them."
"what."
"Nothing. Shut the hell up"
"you started talking, sun."
The day next to that you were called to go to the base. Maybe you weren't having days off.
Your mates just stared down and gave you a look. "good luck. You'll need it.".
You swallowed and gave them high five. "No need.".
You passed immediately to the office, where the twins waited. Sun was now at the window sill, playing with a dice. Well, he looked well with dresses and suits, huh? If it were anyone else but your boss, you'd melt.
Moon was doing some paperwork, maybe making some letters ‐why did they do that personally if they had staff designated for that?-, with his thick coat on his shoulders and only opening up and revealing his arms, just so that he could comfortably write down.
-Just in time, Knives -Sun said, and you almost suspected irony, but you did were in time-, you like that name, Knives? I heard they call you so.
-pretty literal and little creative -Moon said absently.
-I've gotten used to it, but I'd prefer you used my real name, sir.
To be honest, you didn't want your friends and your boss to call you the same way. It felt... weird. And it was also weird to be called so... closely. Almost like familiarly.
Sun repeated your name, almost a soft whisper that you weren't intended to hear. Alright, you preferred ANYTHING less than that. You shivered.
-is something wrong?
-Nothing, sir.
-Very well then -Sun noticed, he truly pretty much noticed, you were sure he did, but he didn't said anything-, We must then tell you why we called you here, don't we?
-we're busy -Moon explained simply.
-So we can't really stay with you in your home. Even if we wanted to, we have things to do. But we must still keep an eye on you.
-so we decided to make you our bodyguard.
-A pretty awesome opportunity, isn’t it?
You stood quiet, and swallowed your own saliva like glass. -Thank you, sir.
Sun grinned proudly, like if he had done something so, so very much important that you should be on your knees thanking him. But you weren't sure how to react. Was that a really good new, or was it a death sentence? You didn't doubt your skills, but you have never been a bodyguard before. Would it be about tasting food, taking out intruders, and protecting them in the worst cases, leaving your life behind if needed. And also, you knew they never had bodyguards before. They didn't need to, really. They only brought some for the image. And now you'd also be associated with them, almost like a loyal dog with their owners. Goodbye to your freedom! Now you wouldn't be able of roaming around and doing chores at your own pace, what a pity!
-you don't seem very happy -Moon commented, staring at you from the first time since you walked down there.
-No, sir. Is just-
-it won't be forever. you can quit later. but by now, you just have to go everywhere with us and fight whoever we tell you to. not much different from what you did before -he was writing down again.
-I know, sir, I just have a question.
Moon spared you a look and you nodded. -Is it... going be 24/7, you mean?
-Do you have any complain? -Sun growled. Why was he annoyed now??
-No, sir, I... I was afraid if... nothing. Nevermind.
-if you want to say something, say it -Moon said in a sharp but somehow soft whisper-, it’s no use to have that formal tone now.
Your gaze drifted off somewhere else, and decided to look at the guns they had in the wall while you ordered your thoughts. You were searching for them. Your friend, the one that gifted you that one knife and the one you used to feel safe around. And the one you stopped searching for. Not because you didn't wanted to anymore, but because you couldn’t. But now you were starting all over again. You tried being assigned with anything related to that one night, or at least anything. ANYTHING. But you didn't have a rank high enough for any of them by the time. But now you may have as well, as their bodyguard.
You nodded. -I have no complaints, sir. Thank you for this opportunity.
Moon stared silently, and Sun nodded back. -Good. In any case, we won't let you go anyways.
You nodded and gave a grin. -Pardon my ignorance. What... exactly does a bodyguard right now?
-be quiet and still so I can write this down.
You nodded and obey while you thought about everything. You seriously didn't think it was an issue, and if they wanted you deadly quiet, they would have killed you already, probably the moment you opened the door to your apartment, or right now even. And over the course of these days, there will be more opportunities. So you shouldn't be afraid. You felt oh the gloom once you thought about it. You were in their hands, in the end, and they knew perfectly well no one wouldn't miss you. No one would notice if you died or something happened to you.
But it was fine. At least, you wouldn't hurt anyone in any case. Even if you didn't come back.
You obediently waited, in silence while staring at the floor, afraid of bothering them. Hold on. Now to think of it, you were their bodyguard. Holy cow. How would you explain the sudden raise? It normally happened with people that had done many heroic deeds, as they'd say, not to someone like you. Not a... no one like you.
But you should calm your mind. It wasn't the moment to be anxious, truly. So you breathed in deeply (it almost always made you yawn) and kept a straight face.
After some while, Moon ended the paperwork, and you ended up falling too late in the fact that probably they were internally talking, and that was prolly the reason why they sometimes stopped, or sighed, or any kind of reaction out of a quiet conversation.
You, anyways, didn't do or say anything outside when Sun seemed a bit annoyed and you raised your gaze to see, and then kept listening for any clue of what was happening outside. Probably nothing anyways, you shouldn't fear. It was alright. Or you would make sure it would be.
-Hey -Sun said at one point-, I'm bored. Tell me something.
-Like what, sir?
-A story or anything you find interesting. Not about the gang though... -he yawned-, or sing something. Something... relaxing.
Moon raised his gaze in silence when Sun said so, and when he noticed you weren't gonna sing, he kept working.
-I'm afraid I don't have the softest of voices, sir. And I don't have anything to tell you either.
Sun whined, like a child that couldn't watch his favorite show because of homework.
-sun, let them be -Moon said-, they are here to be our bodyguard, not our babysitter.
Sun sighed like defeated. And you stood silent. And it went on.
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really wish the 12 series didnt have raph bring out the splinter's favorite line. they were so close to not doing it. so close to not slapping that on as the reason for raph being raph.
but they did it. and it lowkey still doesnt make any sense? not once in the show were there ever any hints of this being an issue. not once was it ever hinted as something that bugged raph. i think this could have worked, but it needed to have some sort of precedent, and it didnt. this leaves the statement kind of feeling like it came out of left field.
i always got the impression that raph's anger came from other sources. like being cooped up with your brothers for 15 years and not being able to go outside for fear of being hunted down like an animal. no way to release pent up aggression. and when it comes to leo, the first few seasons made it seem like raph's anger was due to his perceived shift in power dynamics. for 15 years he was on equal footing with his brother, and in the span of a day, suddenly he's the leader? maybe raph always did feel some sort of rivalry towards his brother, maybe he was jealous of leo to some degree for his skills/some other reason like that, and these feelings were exacerbated when leo became the leader. but to say raph was actually always jealous of leo because "he was always splinter's favorite?" huh? where did that come from? when was this established? either way for it to work i feel like this should have been brought up before.
and you could chalk it up to raph perceiving leo to be splinter's favorite, and this not actually being the case, but i dont think the series ever explores raphs feelings any deeper than this so idk. and then once again, you'd probably have to establish this earlier if this were to be the case. season 4, which is basically the last season of the main story, should not be the first time we're hearing about this major aspect of raph's character. is it ever even mentioned again??
and honestly, i think slapping this on as the reason for raphs issues is kind of boring at this point. its been done before in so many other characters in other stories. boo. give me something else. youre telling me yall cant look any deeper into raphs character than this, that you have to give a surface level reason? it feels like a cop out to just blame splinter. but hey, if you guys really want someone to blame, SHREDDER IS RIGHT THERE. maybe if they didn't have to live in fear of getting killed their whole lives things would have been different.
i guess im also just bothered by this because now it gives fuel to the "abusive parent splinter" fans who have this weird agenda of completely rewriting splinter's character to be a terrible parent and then blaming all of the boys' issues on him
also, why muddy raph and leo's relationship even more? honestly to me their relationship already started getting muddier by season 2 due to weird writing decisions, but overall i really liked how they genuinely seemed to be good friends and have a close bond with each other. i got the vibe that they liked hanging out with each other in their spare time, and that most of the time they did get along (just look at the amount of times they're just casually hanging out in the background/sparring in their free time/in the same room). it's just that whenever an episode focuses on them, they tended have some sort of conflict due to the nature of an episode, i guess. but when you introduce this to their dynamic it just feels weird. like i guess having this added to their dynamic doesn't have to negate their friendship, but it adds another layer of complexity that the writers just didn't seem to be willing to face/deal with properly
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Danganronpa Despair Time Chapter 2: Episodes 6 and 7
yall r getting a spoiler cuff this time bc someone dies here
Episode 6
-so ace has got nico’s secret. oh fuck.
-YASS DAVID FOR STEPPING IN
-did we just have a nico evil sprite
-i am going to go fucking feral
-YES HU, HE DESERVED THAT
-diversity win, the nonbinary cat person is a lil evil, and i will allow it as a treat
-dogboy levi. that is all.
-what j attempted with teruko there is actually pretty sound advice for people being in danger. unfortunately, she chose to try it on teruko. and got a knife pulled on her because teruko’s paranoia is making her act unreasonable.
-changing clothes being a big deal is going to be... a thing in this game, calling it now
-OKAY NICO, SLAYYYYYYY
-or not since ace isn’t actually dead
-or maybe nico was trying to stop ace from offing himself? yass nico
-yeah i get why levi wouldn’t wanna bother with this
-TERUKO NO, WE CANNOT JUST LEAVE HIM THERE?
Episode 7
-that opening scene is so me
-at least they didn’t just leave him there?
-god fucking damnit teruko i actually wanted to see this argument to its conclusion
-monotv was a youtube pooper in a past life, calling it now
-rose fails at a pullup lol
-no, i don’t believe her either
-OH MY GOD NICO TOTALLY HAD ROSE’S TURPENTINE
-nico did you make ace huff paint?
-ok teruko that was a little bit uncalled for
-oh wait that’s par for the course for teruko at this point
-why do i feel like rose is only going to end up blaming herself for whoever dies?
-teruko going off on monotv, iconic as always
-danganronpa despair time, now featuring dora the explorer
-also yeah ‘we got chemistry’ was my first guess too
-chiteruko ftw
-yes i ship charles whit and teruko all together what about it
-eggs and vitamin, the strangest dinner
-VERONIKA HAVING THE OUMA GRIN IN A CG AAAAAA
-iconic thumbnail drop except this time teruko slapping her was reasonable
-veronika is trying to kin assign teruko some protag and i need to know which one
-ummm veronika’s resemblance of tsumugi shirogane and junko enoshima is highly fucking concerning and im almost certain she’s the mastermind
-thanks for pointing out why the let’s be boring as hell plan is going to fail
-figures teruko has enough secrets to not know which one is hers
-VERONIKA THIS IS NOT FUCKING HELPING UR CASE
-monotv is a colossal failgirl and i love him for that
-NOOOOOOOOO
-AREI NOOOOOO
-I ACTUALLY WANTED TO SEE HER GROW NOOOOOO
-ok they didn’t play music here which makes me think she may have offed herself.
-but then they did for the nico-ace incident and no one died there so wtf is going on
-i was super confident that hu was going to be our culprit until literally right now
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Like A Death In The Hall
Wrote this as a fic bc I'm trying to hype myself up for posting more fics. And it gives me practice for writing Copia and the band ghouls interacting with bw bc I'm a cringe ass nae nae baby and I'm mushing them together like a kid playing with dolls. ANYWAY THIS BITCH IS GONNA BE ROUGH SO BUCKLE UP. AND READ THE WARNINGS.
CW// forced "medical procedure"?, suicidal ideation, self harm, body horror, very graphic depictions of said body horror, serious case of the ouchies, whole lotta hurt, self image issues, bws just not having a funky fresh day yall
Just be warned in general
Sister Imperator had told the skittish ghoul that she needed to tell him something very important. That it was about his job as the cardinals assistant. So she called him down to said cardinals office, pulling him from dinner where he sat at the opposite end of the table from the ghouls and into another chair in the dim office.
The other ghouls were still a bit skeptical of him and he was terrified of them. The wound of theirs was still open so they had the right to be angry and skeptical. Scared even. The three older ghouls had most of their other band mates stripped away from them, sent back to the pit or killed presumably, and were forced to adapt to new ghouls. And the current fire ghoul, Dew, wasn't even supposed to be a fire ghoul. Or so he's heard. So when they pulled August from a watery grave only to get a fire ghoul, the band was a bit nervous that Dews time was up as well. That he wasn't good enough to keep and needed replacing like the others.
He thought about it on the way down to the office. It had been almost a year, but he still didn't blame them, not one bit. But it would be nice to just sit down and explain to them that he was just an assistant, nothing more nothing less. They wouldn't have it though. Dew snapped and swung when he'd get too close or talk too loudly or did much with the others really. Mountain refused to acknowledge his existence, would talk around him if he had to talk in the general vicinity of him. The earth ghoul talked to the others perfectly fine, just not him. Aether was sweet, though. Checked up on him and all that jazz, but he seemed like he didn't want to get too close to him. He couldn't blame them but it did sting a bit. The others were kind to him, he vibed pretty well with the water ghoul, Rain. It was relieving that at least someone was ok with him existing in the wing.
He hadn't even realized he was standing infront of the door to the office until someone opened it for him, snapping him out of his thoughts and back to where he was. He shuffled into the musty office, not exactly expecting to see Dew sitting in the chair next to where Sister Imperator was pointing for him to sit. He was wondering why he hadn't seen the ghoul staring daggers into his forehead at the table earlier. Guess this answered his question. The door closed behind him. The way Sistor was looking at him had his hair standing on end. The Cardinal waved happily at him from where he stood next to Sister, so he waved back just as happy, if not a bit confused, as he sat.
"The cardinal doesn't need a fire ghoul as an assistant-" Sister said, rather bluntly as she arranged papers on the desk. August could practically feel his heart fall out his ass at that. "Cool, so why the fuck am I here?" Dew butted in with a huff of annoyance. "If you'd let me continue you'd know." Sister snapped back, "ahem, we don't need a fire ghoul burning important paperwork, but the Cardinal enjoys your company," August visibly relaxed at that.
"So we're changing your element."
He didn't quite understand what that entailed other than the obvious, but the way that Dew sucked all the air out of the room through his teeth and went pale as snow and the Cardinal looked like he had been shot, it wasn't a good thing. "Wh-what uh what are you changing him to, Sister?" The Cardinal sputtered out in a rush.
"Water."
He felt like he was going to puke.
His mind completely turned off. He heard Dew and the Cardinal argue for him but he didn't understand a word. He gleamed a loud 'was I not enough proof that this isn't a good idea?' and a 'he's harmless he can't even keep a flame!' but that was it before he was being dragged out of his chair by the old era ghouls that he hadn't even seen when he walked in. He was too shocked to fight back as he was pulled out the door and it was shut, closing him off from the conversation he didn't even get a word in.
He opened his mouth to plead to them to let him go as they dragged him down the halls, but nothing came out. So he thrashed. He kicked and twisted and snapped and bit but all it got him was a rush of quintessence dragging his mind into a pit of inky black as his body went slack.
He doesn't remember much of the ritual. Brief flashes of red and the smell of fire thay were quickly overtaken by deep indigos and violets. And the smell of lake water. Sharp and cold. The colors and smells were quickly drowned out by the searing pain that zapped through his body before he was out again.
When he woke up in his own room, he felt like he had been struck by lightning. Like someone had cracked him open and taken a hand mixer to all his insides. He felt like he was being rearranged from the inside out. And in all actuality? He was right. He was being rearranged from the inside out. On top of that he was ice cold. His teeth chattered as he tried to pull himself under the blankets he was unceremoniously dropped on. It felt like the hardest thing he's ever done with how little energy he had. He felt like he was dying.
After an hour of trying to warm himself under a blanket and failing, gasping and whimpering through the pain, he remembered the bathroom he had connected to his room through his haze of pain. A searing hot bath felt like the only lifeline he had left. There was a sharp throb under his horns and he practically threw himself off the bed, getting tired and angry over the pain and the cold. As soon as his feet hit the floor he felt like was about to crumble like a kicked sandcastle as an even more intense pain wracked through him from the tip of his horns to the end of his tail. He wiped out his nightstand when he stumbled, gasping as he tried to steady himself on the wall. He continued his struggle to the bathroom as the room spun around him.
"Dying. I'm dying aren't I?" He thought to himself as he slammed the door open and collapsed to the floor. He wanted to die at this point. They should have just killed him and got a new ghoul. His mouth felt like he was chewing on bricks and glass. His teeth hurt. his horns felt like they were about to either fall off or explode. Were his hands always this pale? Fuck he was so cold. He pulled himself up by the edge of the sink. As soon as he saw himself in the mirror he felt like screaming. Crying. Anything to get the anguish out. His skin and the tips of his hair was pale as a sheet and his mouth was dripping with that pitch black blood that pumped through his veins. Those golden honey colored eyes swirled with ice blues. He doesn't know what the fuck was looking back at him in that mirror, but it wasn't him. That's not him. He isn't him anymore.
He wasn't the same fire ghoul the Cardinal loved and grew attached to.
The sharp throb in his horns from earlier came back ten fold, almost knocking him over. And his eyes landed on his horns. They looked weird against his hair and the splitting skin at the base.
Those aren't his anymore either.
They had to go.
He wrapped his hands around one of those beautiful golden horns that he loved so much. And he pulled. He pulled and pulled and when the horn finally snapped off in his hand, the wave of relief almost had him sobbing. But there was one more horn. He repeated with the second one, but it wouldn't budge. He thought about slamming his head onto the porcelain of the sink to break it, but before he could put it into action it finally gave way.
He managed to stumble from the sink to the side of the shower and crank the hot water on as high as it would go. It's the only way he'd take showers normally. He loved how hot the water could get in his room. But as soon as he slipped under the water, still in his clothes, he felt like he was being dissolved in acid. He screamed. That hot water felt like searing hot razors taking him apart down to his bones, flaying him open and laying him out. Skinning him alive. And when he opened his eyes he realized it was. His ash gray skin sloshed off him in thin sheets to reveal soft pale skin and fur. If this didn't kill him he was going to do it himself.
He just wanted to be warm again.
There was a knock on his door and Dews surprisingly quiet lilt drifted under the door but he couldn't understand it. He did the only thing he knew was left. His voice was rough and his throat was raw from screaming, but he managed to call out a single word.
"Help."
#drabbables#august ghoul#he is havi g a HELL of a time huh#god how do i tag this#uuuh#fuck#definitely nit puttin it in the main tags FUCK that noise#lmk if yall want me to tag the cws down here bc im drawing a blank
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