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gurugirl · 5 months

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Homewrecker | bfd!harry

best friends dad!harry x reader | forbidden relationship

Summary: The one where you and Harry finally come clean to everyone. Featuring an angry Fae, a spiteful soon-to-be ex wife, divorce terms, and lots of tears.

Word Count: 7360

Warning: 18+ only, mature content, age gap, talk of divorce, cheating, angst

Best Friend's Dad!harry Masterlist

You were tense.

And it wasn’t just that. It was that you could tell Harry was tense too. He was quiet. It made you nervous. Made you wonder if he was regretting his decision. He was loving when you’d first boarded the plane. But once it landed, he hardly looked at you. You were dropped off at your apartment by a taxi but were surprised when Harry asked the driver to wait. He helped you bring your suitcase up to your door and gave you a quick kiss before telling you he was going to have the taxi drop him off at his house so he could get his car. He told you he’d be back at your place in a couple of hours but he wouldn’t tell you where he was going. You weren’t sure he’d really come back.

You felt sick. You felt terrified you were losing him. But of course, you never deserved him in the first place. He was happily married with a great career and a beautiful daughter with a good head on her shoulders. Life was good for him. And would have been for years to come. If it hadn’t been for you. You were a homewrecker.

You didn’t have the energy to unpack your suitcase so you sat down and took a deep breath as you dared to look through all your messages and listen to the voicemails. You had envisioned checking your messages with Harry by your side, comforting you and you comforting him, but since he wasn’t there you did it alone.

The progression of anger from Fae was easy to see. She first left a voicemail and she sounded more concerned than angry at that point. She was calm.

Then it was a text. And another that could be read as mad. Then the one you read at the airport where you knew without a doubt that she was upset. And then to her last series of text messages sent Saturday morning.

Your silence is telling. So is his. I can’t believe either of you would do this. I hope I’m wrong. I’m hoping this is all a mistake and that it’s a coincidence that you and my dad have gone AWOL at the same time. But if this turns out to be real, Y/n? I don’t think I could ever speak to you or my dad again. I know you’d feel the same if I did this to you.

You sat your phone down and stared at your TV that you hadn’t turned on yet. It was impossible to process what you’d just read. It was shocking. You knew it was coming but to see it in a text was jarring.

It took you a few minutes to lift your phone up and listen to your mother’s voicemail.

Hey honey. I got a call from Fae and she’s really concerned about you and… her dad? She said she needs to get a hold of you. Will you call her when you get this? Or have Harry call her?

And, Y/n, I just want to say too, that no matter what, honey. I love you. You can always reach out to me if you need help or want to talk. Your father and I won’t judge you even if it’s true. I love you. Call me after you call Fae.

Closing your eyes you lay down on your side. Your mother even knew. Fae must have called her and told her everything. It hurt. But it was deserved. You deserved the hurt and shame. You’d done some very bad things. Your mother knowing was the least of your problems. Your biggest problem was that you were a homewrecker. You’d damaged a family because you were selfish.

You hit the call button and put your phone to your ear, keeping your eyes closed.

“Y/n. I was starting to get worried. Are you okay?” Your mother’s words were rushed.

“I’m fine, Mom. I’m so sorry about this. I would have called you sooner but I was trying to avoid my phone for a couple of days.”

“What are you avoiding, Y/n? Is it true? You and Fae’s dad?”

You swallowed thickly, “Yeah. It’s true.”

The line was silent for a moment. You waited to let your mom respond when she was ready. It was a lot to hear. You understood her silence.

“Okay. Well… you know I love you, honey. I hope you know what you’re doing. You’re an adult so you get to make these decisions and I trust that you never meant to hurt anyone.”

“Of course not. I never thought,” you felt a tear slip down your cheek, “… that this would happen. It was never meant to get this far. But,” you pushed yourself up to sit, “I fell in love. And now it’s too late. And we have to face the music. And,” you sniffled as you pulled your phone out to look at the time and then put it back to your ear, “I don’t even know where Harry is right now so it all feels like it’s about to just explode on us–“

“Y/n, do you want me to come over?”

You shook your head, “No. No, that’s okay. I’m sorry. This is just so hard.”

At that moment your front door opened and you stood up to see Harry walking in.

“Mom, I’ll call you back, okay? I love you,” you hung up after your mom told you she loved you too.

You tossed your phone on the couch and stepped toward Harry quietly, unsure of how he was feeling. Unsure of how to approach.

Harry took one long stride toward you and wrapped his arms around you, crushing you into his chest. You draped your arms around his middle and just let him squeeze. You were glad he’d come back so soon. You thought he was going to be gone for at least another hour. You also thought it was possible he wouldn’t return.

He loosened his embrace and kissed the top of your head, “I didn’t like how it felt to be away from you. I just needed to go and drive. I don’t really know why. I started to panic,” he spoke quietly as you listened, “When I was dropped off at the house I got into my car and the further away I drove the further away from you I felt and I didn’t like that. I had to turn around and drive back to you.”

You tilted your head back to look up at him, “Are you having second thoughts? Do you regret this?”

Harry brought his hands up to your face and looked down at you intently, “God, baby, no. When I got into that taxi I wasn’t even really thinking. I don’t know why I did it that way, leaving like that. I just… I didn’t mean for it to seem like I needed to be away from you. I don’t want that at all.”

You nodded and it felt like relief to hear him say that. “I was worried. Thought you’d suddenly realized this was a big mistake and you couldn’t go through with it anymore.”

He rocked you softly, stepping from foot to foot to sway, “Absolutely not. It’s me and you, baby.”

“We should text them back. Let them know something. Maybe we can go to them? Tell them everything? I just want to get this over with now, Harry.” You couldn’t handle being secretive with Fae or anyone anymore. You knew this was going to happen one way or another and if you could just finally say it then maybe the worst would be over.

He sighed and let go of you, keeping your hands in his, “Okay. We’ll let them decide when it happens. But I’ll text Fae and her mother.”

You both sat in silence on your couch as you individually texted Fae. Harry texted his wife first.

You didn’t know how to word the text. But you settled on something simple.

I’m so sorry. I feel awful. I want to talk to you, though, whenever you’re ready.

Harry’s phone rang after he sent his first text and he looked at you with worry before holding the phone up to his ear.

“Hello?”

You watched him stand up and pace in silence as he listened to his wife. He ran a hand through his hair and then suddenly stopped and looked down as he closed his eyes.

“Yes. I understand.”

He looked at you and gave you a weak smile. A sad smile and you returned the expression.

“No. Look… don’t say that. She’s not. I think if we can just talk in person this will be better.”

He shook his head and scowled as he began to pace again, “I said don’t say that about her,” his voice was more urgent. Almost angry.

Your phone dinged. Fae had responded.

I’m coming over.

Your breath caught in your throat as you looked up at Harry. Your natural inclination was to tell him to leave because that had been the routine since the beginning. Hiding that he’d been with you. But now that everything was out in the open…

“Fine. We’ll talk tomorrow then... Yes. I know. I am sorry,” he looked at his screen and realized she’d hung up. “Fuck.” He spoke under his breath.

You stood up and cleared your throat, “Fae is coming over.”

Harry looked weary. He nodded and went into your kitchen and pulled down two glasses, “Water?” He asked without turning to look at you.

“Yes, please.”

You watched him fill the glasses with your water pitcher and then handed you a glass as he gulped down half of his in one go.

“We should think about how to tell her. She’ll be here soon.” You reiterated, keeping your distance. Everything felt so foreign. So strange.

Harry placed his glass down and looked at you for a moment before responding, “We’ll just tell her, Y/n. It’s not going to be good but we’ll be honest and tell her what we’ve done. It’s all we can do,” he pushed his hip from the counter and took your free hand, bringing it up to his chest, “I love you. Okay?”

You nodded, “I love you too, Harry.”

When you sat your glass down Harry bent at his knees and lifted you up to the counter and then fit himself in between your legs, putting his palms over your thighs, “I just need you with me, Y/n. Okay?”

You nodded and put your hands on Harry’s shoulders and pulled them around his neck to bring him in for a soft little kiss.

You two stayed like that until there was a knock at your door and Harry helped you down from your spot. He followed behind you as you pulled your door open to see Fae standing there. She looked behind you to her dad and then back at you. Her expression was unreadable.

“Come in.” You gestured to her and moved out of the doorway. She walked past you and her father and into your living room.

“So, it’s true. What the fuck?” She shook her head and looked between you and Harry.

“I’m so sorry this happened,” Harry spoke first. You could hear the small waver in his voice as if he were about to cry, which made you tear up instantly as you watched Fae’s face.

She sat down on the small bench near your records and looked directly at you, “I can’t believe you did this. To me and my mom? To him? Why?”

Oh shit. Here it was. You were being blamed for it all. As you should. You knew what you’d done was disgusting.

You moved to sit down on your couch, pulling your hand out of Harry’s. You needed to sit.

“I can’t believe I did it either. I don’t know why. I’m sorry!” You hiccupped as your tears fell. A pathetic girl. Harry sat next to you and you felt his warm hand on your back as you repeated that you were sorry.

“Mom didn’t deserve this,” Fae looked at her dad, “She’s been so good to us and to you. She was really blindsided by this you know? You hurt her. You cheated on her. I never would have taken you for a cheater.”

Your sniffles and harsh breaths were obnoxious. You didn’t deserve to be feeling sad for yourself. After all, you’d done all the hurting and now people were suffering because of you.

“I know, Fae. Your mother has been wonderful to us. I made a mistake and…” his hand moved up and down your back as he spoke, “I’m sorry this happened. I didn’t expect any of it. It just…” he took a breath, “It just happened and now I’m in love. We’re in love.”

Fae laughed sardonically and you looked at her. She hadn’t shed a single tear.

“Yeah right. Do you know how ridiculous you sound, Dad? In love? With her? She’s my age? What could you possibly have in common with Y/n? Do you two bond over talking about me? Because that’s your only link. Like… I don’t get it at all.”

“We just get along, Fae. Somethings can’t really be explained–“

“Oh, the fuck they can’t. You two had sex and now you think you’re in love. You’re both pathetic. Especially you, Y/n. You broke up a happy marriage because you were selfish and you outright lied to me–“

“Hey, this is my fault, Fae. I’m the one who–“

You put your hand on his knee, “No. Fae’s right. I’m pathetic. I’m a homewrecker. I deserve all of the blame.”

Fae stood up, “Oh the martyr. I see… Yes… Will it make you feel better to know how much I really hate you? Is that what you want? Well,” she laughed, “I’m not giving you that satisfaction. Oh no…” she paced in front of your coffee table as she looked from her father to you, “The part that hurts so much, and the part that I hope you take with you and that eats at you and keeps you up at night is that hating you hurts me. You were my best friend. You and I have done everything together. I trusted you and loved you like you were my sister. When my mom told me what she found out I told her it couldn’t be true. That you would never. I gave you a chance to come clean to me but you lied to my face. I won’t ever forgive you but that doesn’t mean that feels good. It hurts to hate you. You betrayed me.”

You sat in silence. In shame.

Fae pointed at Harry, “And you. You let this happen. Mom is broken. She’s absolutely torn up over this. You blindsided us both and you’re no longer my father.”

“Please, don’t say that Fae, I love you,” Harry stood up.

“Don’t come near me. I don’t want your apologies or your tears. I’m not giving you the chance to make amends or say your peace. I don’t want it,” she scoffed and looked up toward the ceiling to pull her tears back into her eyes. “Mom said this didn’t mean you were abandoning me. That you still love me,” she looked at him and stopped pacing, “I don’t care if you choose her or whatever,” she gestured toward you, “I don’t even want you as my father anymore. You make me sick. What you did is unforgivable. Even if you did leave her and beg me for another chance to be in my life I don’t want it. My life is better without you now that I know who you are.”

Harry sat down and put his head in his hands and began to cry. You could see his shoulders shaking as he let out a strangled sob.

She looked away from Harry and took a breath. You could see she was acting tough. You knew her well. You imagined that the moment she walked out of your apartment she’d finally allow herself to cry.

“You both deserve each other. I hope you have a miserable life together. Actually…” she looked at you, “I take that back. I hope he cheats on you and breaks your heart the way you broke mine. I hope that all this was a waste for both of you. That you don’t even wind up together in the end. Because that’s what you’re hoping for, isn’t it?”

Her glower was intense. Scary.

You opened your mouth, “Fae, I’m–“

“I don’t fucking want to hear it, Y/n. I just wanted to come over here so I could tell you in person how I feel about you,” she laughed and looked at Harry who was still trying to reign in his tears, “I actually didn’t think you’d be here. But I guess this makes it easier. So I only have to do this once.”

She picked up her purse and carried herself quickly to your door but you ran after her just as she stepped outside, “Fae, please! I never wanted to hurt anyone!”

She turned to look at you, tears glazing her eyes, “I know you didn’t. But you did anyway, and it was selfish. Just wait for your turn. He’ll find someone younger in a few years and you’ll be all alone.”

When she walked away you felt Harry’s hand on your shoulder and then his chest pressed to your back as he pulled you into him. You both watched until Fae was out of sight and wondered if that would be it. Wondered if she’d ever come around or if maybe she was right.

He was warm against you. Comforting. “Baby you know she’s just speaking out of anger because she’s hurt. I’m not leaving you. That’s never gonna happen.”

You swallowed and nodded as he spoke quietly into your ear. Surely she was speaking out of anger to hurt you because she was hurt. You could see that. And that was deserved. You should hurt. But part of what she said did strike something in you. Because he’d left his own wife for you. For someone younger. And he probably never imagined he’d cheat on his wife just like at that moment you figured he never imagined he’d leave you either.

“You believe me, right, Y/n?”

You nodded shallowly.

Harry let out a deep breath as he pulled you gently back inside your apartment and turned you to face himself. His eyes were red and his face was splotchy from crying, “Look at me,” he cupped your face softly, “I’m mad for you. I swear on everything,” he ran his thumb under your right eye where a new tear fell, “I’ll never leave you. I love you. This is different, Y/n. God, I never want you to feel that way.”

It wasn’t like you wanted to leave him so you wouldn’t and if he broke your heart eventually, well you also deserved that. Especially after everything you’d done to Fae and her mother…

Harry’s nose touched yours, “Please, Y/n. I can tell you’re upset about what she said. I need to know you trust me and that we’re okay.”

You lifted your arms to wrap around his middle and looked at him, “Whatever happens I’m not going anywhere. I just…” you blinked and grasped the material of his shirt tight, “I fucked up big time. We did. I wasn’t prepared to hear her say any of that. I knew she’d be upset. I feel like this is what I deserve. None of this is okay.”

Harry cradled the back of your head and pressed his forehead into yours gently, “I fucked up, Y/n. I did that. I know what’s been done isn’t good… but you and I can be okay. Being with you is like nothing I’ve ever had. I’ll do everything I can to prove to you how much I love you and how much I want you every day if you need it.”

You tilted your head back and moved to kiss him, pushing your lips against his. You didn’t want him feeling like he’d lost you too. You just needed to sort out your thoughts and it was hard to verbalize everything in that moment.

Harry and Fae’s mother had planned to meet at their house in the morning. He was already making a list of things he’d be packing and bringing to your apartment, knowing she’d be taking the house, “Are you sure it’s okay if I bring all this? I can get a storage unit or something.”

You stood behind him and looked down at his laptop screen. He was sitting at your small kitchen table as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, “It’s fine, Harry. We’ll figure out everything later. We should get some sleep. It’ll be an early morning and we want to go in with clear minds.” Harry turned to look at you as he placed a hand over your forearm, “Baby, I really think it should just be me there. I don’t want you to have to go through that again.”

You moved and pulled a chair up next to him so you could look at him directly, “I really think I should be there with you. At least for support, Harry. I’m an adult. I can handle it. I don’t want you having to do it alone.”

He shook his head and took your hands in his, “Y/n, it’s going to go a whole lot better if you’re not there. She’s not going to want to see you. That’ll just make her angrier. I’m asking you to please stay here while I sort out everything with her.”

Harry had told you right at the beginning that he was going but you insisted you wanted to be there too. To face his wife and be his support.

“Harry…” you said his name in a plea.

He dipped in and kissed you, “I love you so much. But I need to do this part by myself. Okay? I love that you want to help and be there with me and you don’t know how much that means to me. But this is different. I can’t bring you with me for this. You can be my comfort and support when I get back afterward.”

You figured you didn’t have much of a choice. But you hated to have Harry go it alone. If you thought dealing with Fae was devastating, you couldn’t imagine the scene with her mother. The woman whose heart he broke. Who he cheated on.

Harry held you close that night as you softly caressed his chest and kissed his shoulders and pecs. Sleep didn’t really find either of you for long enough to feel like you’d rested. You had bursts of shut-eye but then were woken up with a panicky feeling. And it was the same for Harry. But being together and feeling the warmth of one another felt a lot better than waking up alone.

And you both were wide awake at 5 am, cuddled together under your blankets, limbs tangled.

“Are you awake?” You whispered as softly as possible. You assumed he was because of his breathing pattern and the way he shifted every now and then.

“I am. Are you okay, baby?” He scooted in closer and pulled you into his chest so you were practically laying on him.

You couldn’t see his face in the dark but you smiled at how he always seemed to need you close.

“I’m okay. I’m here with you so I’m okay.” You laid your head against his chest and he cradled the back of your head. You could feel the slow rhythm of his heart.

“Want some coffee? Thinking of getting up to make some. Not sure I can sleep. Have to be up in an hour anyway.”

Coffee at 5:15 am was not your thing but for Harry, you’d do it. And it was also going to be impossible for you to sleep as well. You were full of nerves and wondering what was next.

You had to work that afternoon, unfortunately. You wanted to call off but you were worried about losing your job. You took Saturday off when you were scheduled to work and doing it again on Monday would be risking too much.

“So what? If you lose your job you can look for something else. Maybe there’s a good job in advertising or marketing or something. Use your degree, Y/n. I can take care of you until you find something.”

You shook your head, “You don’t think I’ve been looking? For a year I’ve been putting in resumes and the only few spots that would even consider me without any experience wouldn’t pay as well as the tips I make at the restaurant. It’s hard to transition from making really good tips to a salaried job that pays less where I might work more hours.”

“I know you’ve been looking, baby. I’m not saying you haven’t. I’m just saying I’ll take care of you until you find something perfect.”

“I don’t want to have you taking care of me, though. That’s not fair. We’ve already been through a lot. And just imagine what everyone would think… If I quit my job after everyone finds out we’ve been having an affair and you pay all my bills... I’ll not only be a homewrecker I’ll be a gold digger or something. One awful scorn on me is quite enough,” you chuckled. But it wasn’t actually funny. You tried to find humor in the situation but the reality of it was awful.

“We can’t help what people will think of us but we’ll talk about all this later. I don’t want you to worry. Okay?”

“You think you’ll be back before I need to leave for work?” You ran your fingers through his hair at the nape of his neck. It was getting long and his curls were just begging to be touched.

Harry nodded, “I think so. I hope so. If not, I’ll be here waiting for you when you get off. I’ve got some stuff to do at the office today as well but shouldn’t take long. And I’ve got your key,” he grinned at you.

Harry left after giving you a smoldering kiss. You two hadn’t been intimate since the morning before when you left Quebec and when he grabbed you and spun you around to kiss you goodbye you pulled him in by his collar to keep his mouth against yours, then he had his arms around your back and you both had to force yourselves apart so he could go.

And on any normal day, you’d climb back into bed to sleep for a few more hours. But you knew you couldn’t sleep. So, you had to find something to keep you occupied while Harry told his wife everything.

. . .

When Harry pulled into the driveway his wife’s car was there already. He took a few deep breaths. He knew it was not going to be pretty.

The house smelled of coffee when he opened the door. It almost felt comforting. Familiar. Except that the circumstances were anything but.

He called to his wife as he sat his briefcase down on the couch and moved into the kitchen where he found her on her cell phone speaking to someone. She glanced at him and turned her back.

Harry noticed right away that she looked sad. Her face was puffy and her skin looked sallow.

The pot of coffee was full but he couldn’t even think of putting anything else into his stomach at that moment. The acid in the coffee was already making him feel a bit unwell. Not just the acid. But he felt unwell for what was about to come.

He sat at the kitchen table and silently inhaled again.

“Well, he’s here now, so I’ll let you go. I’ll call you later, okay?” He heard only the last part of her conversation as she hung up and kept her back to him. He watched her look out the window over the sink into their backyard in silence.

“I think you should start, Harry. Start with how long you’ve been seeing her. How it happened,” she turned to look at him but stayed near the counter.

He nodded and looked down at his hands, “6 months, give or take.” He looked up at her and her fierce gaze could have sliced him in half.

She waved her hand, “Go on. Let’s get it out.”

He swallowed, “I don’t know why I did it. I was happy. Really, I was. I… she and I got close and then I went to her place and that’s how it started.”

“So you instigated?”

Nodding his head he looked at his wife, “I did. I knew she had a crush on me and I fed into it.”

She nodded and walked toward him to sit at the table across from him.

“And it wasn’t supposed to go that far. But I’ve found myself falling for her.”

The laugh from his wife was unexpected. Harry watched as she shook her head in disbelief, “You’ve fallen for her? Y/n? Who is the same age as your daughter? Oh, I bet that’s an interesting dynamic. Does she know you fucked me while you were fucking her?”

He clenched his jaw and felt like he’d throw up, “We didn’t really talk about that much at the beginning. I’m sure she knows.”

“Caressa told me she saw you drop her off. Y/n, the stupid thing, told her you were her boyfriend.”

“Hey. Stop. Don’t do that. Don’t call her stupid. She’s no–“

“What? You don’t like it when women are being a little immature? You are dating a woman half your age for Christ’s sake. Seems like something you’d be into.”

Harry folded his lips into his mouth to keep himself quiet. He’d have to deal with her being a little petty. She had every right to lash out.

“Anyway, I was quite shocked to learn of it. And at first, we thought there was no way. Caressa might have seen someone else that looked like you with a car like yours. But then… too many coincidences, you know? Plus I’d already suspected you were cheating.”

“I’m sorry. I really am.”

“Why? Why would you do this to us? Was it that bad?”

Harry shook his head and reached for his wife’s hand but she pulled away before he could touch her, “No. Of course not. You’ve been incredible. I got selfish and fucked up. And then I got in too deep.” He moved his hand back into his lap.

She nodded, “You did fuck up. That’s true. How many other women have you cheated on me with?”

Harry was taken aback, “None! Oh my god, no. I never… this is the only time.”

“I see. And of all people, it had to be her? Fae’s best friend, Harry?”

“I know. It’s so messy.”

“Have you had a thing for her since she was a teenager?”

He shook his head, “No. Fae’s 22nd birthday was the first time I really found her attractive.”

She looked to the corner of the room as she sipped her coffee and then pinned her eyes back on Harry, “So for 2 1/2, nearly 3 years you’ve been lusting after Fae’s best friend?”

“No. I found her attractive… but never…” he took a breath, “No it was only recent.”

That was a lie. He had actually been lusting after you for that length of time. Of course, the feelings grew as you got closer and spent time together alone. When you would visit him and you’d chat and have lengthy hugs in private… even though the actual affair had only been for 6 months, you both had been dancing around your feelings for much longer. But he didn’t want his wife to know that. Didn’t feel that was necessary information.

“My terms for the divorce are simple. I’ll keep the house but you’ll pay the mortgage and insurance, and repairs that might come up. Once the house is paid off it’ll be in my name and I’ll be able to sell it or keep it, my choice. I’ll keep my car, which you’ll also pay the insurance for, and I’ll be asking for 50% of your salary as alimony. I also expect 50% of any of your bonuses. You’ll pay for my health insurance and cover anything I need above the copay. Dental too,” she took another sip of her coffee as she kept her eyes on Harry, “You’ll cover my cellphone, internet… basically all of my bills like you do currently. I am not going to suffer and live a more difficult lifestyle because you and Y/n want to fuck around and play pretend. Understood?”

Harry nodded. He knew he’d be giving a lot to his wife.

“Our shared brokerage, savings, and retirement will be 100% mine–“

Harry put his hand up, “Now, wait. Hold on. I can give you most of it but not all. Come on. Be reasonable.”

She shook her head, “The moment you stuck your prick in someone else was the moment I lost my ability to be reasonable with you. It’s mine. And I guarantee that the judge will agree once we get to the nitty-gritty. I’ve looked into it. You’ve cheated on me and I’ve been a supportive wife who also contributed to our savings and retirement during all the years I worked.”

His brokerage account was worth millions. And while his wife had contributed to savings and retirement years ago when she was still working, all the money and earnings from the brokerage were his own. He put that money there, not her.

“I don’t think that’s fair. You didn’t put a dime into the brokerage account. I’ll give you all of our savings, half the retirement, and half of the brokerage. That’s more than enough for you for the rest of your life. Not to mention half my salary and bonuses, the house…”

“I don’t care what’s fair. And yeah, I could live a very comfortable life on half the brokerage and retirement alone but I don’t want you to live a comfortable life, see? I’m not here to make things comfortable for anyone but me and my daughter. You and Y/n can go to hell.”

Harry bit his tongue and looked down at the table. He would need to get a lawyer. 50% of everything plus extras was fine. But all of the brokerage and retirement?

“Well, we’ll figure out terms with lawyers present,” he looked at her as he spoke. It was the first time he’d felt so angry with her ever. And even if she was justified, it still felt unfair.

She laughed, “Yes, we will. In fact, I’m meeting with mine this afternoon to get all the paperwork ready for you to sign. Divorce papers are in the works. And since I’m the one filing first I get dibs. You’ll see.”

Harry stood up from the table and paced the kitchen slowly. He knew this would kill him financially but he somehow just didn’t expect she’d want all of his brokerage. That was his nest egg he’d been adding to since before he ever met his wife. It was his. He’d fight for that one.

“What time this afternoon?” He looked at her.

“2 pm. You aren’t invited. You’ll be all caught up with everything once we get the paperwork drafted. My lawyer will send everything to yours. Oh, which, by the way, you should send me your lawyer’s contact info.”

He didn’t have a lawyer at that moment, which in hindsight was dumb of him. He should have been more prepared for all of this. A lawyer was just more money down the drain. He’d be paying his own plus hers, he was sure of it.

“Fuck,” he spoke under his breath and ran his hands over his face.

Harry packed his things into his car and gathered items he planned to take with him. Of course, his wife watched everything he took and told him what he could and couldn’t take.

“But this was a gift from Fae. Let me at least have this,” he pleaded. It was a framed photo of Fae and Harry. The frame was homemade from Fae for Father’s Day when she was 11. He kept it in his office for all the years he had it.

“Fae doesn’t want you to have that. Leave it here.”

“You didn’t even know it was there. You probably forgot that it even existed. Come on, don’t do this.”

She didn’t budge.

Harry had expected the conversation with his wife to be much different. He thought there would be a lot of tears and apologies and that she would scream at him and throw a fit but she was calm and prepared. She was cold and uncaring, though she did throw an insult or two. He could tell she was upset and that she had been crying before he arrived but she did not act the way he thought she would.

It all took much longer than he hoped. You had already been at work by the time he dropped his things off at your apartment. His apartment now too. He told you he’d be paying his part and wanted to get on the lease. But he planned on paying the rent in full. He didn’t want to be a burden to you.

And before he went by his office at work he stopped at the restaurant to see you. He knew it might be a bad idea but he needed to see you. Just to look at you and tell you he loved you and make sure you were okay. He felt bad that he hadn’t come back before you’d left.

Caressa saw him first as he walked in and the hostess greeted him.

“Oh, Harry. How nice to see you,” she crossed her arms as she walked up to him, “I’m guessing you’re here to see your girlfriend?”

“Hi, Caressa. Uh, just here to see Y/n. I wanted to tell her something really quick. I won’t keep her long.” He felt himself flush in embarrassment. He wasn’t particularly close to Caressa but he’d known her for years. She and her husband were part of his friend group. Were. He was certain they wouldn’t be interested in hanging out with him again.

“Sure. She’s busy right now but have a seat. I’ll let her know you’re here.”

He waited for fifteen minutes before getting up and peeking into the dining room. He half doubted that Caressa told you he was there. She probably wanted to make a point or something.

When he spotted you walking away from a table he stepped in and called your name quietly.

You turned and your eyes widened in surprise but you smiled and mouthed “I’ll be right back.”

You hadn’t expected to see him show up at your work but the relief that washed over you was immense. You were so worried about Harry and wondered how the talk had gone with Fae’s mother. Hoped nothing had changed between you and him.

You quickly made your way to the front where Harry was and grabbed his hand into yours, “How did it go?”

He sighed and you could see it hadn’t been a good conversation just by his expression, “I’ll tell you later. But, she knows. Everyone knows now. She’s getting divorce paperwork ready,” he squeezed your hand, “I just wanted to see your face. Needed to see you.”

You smiled and quickly kissed his lips, “I’m glad you came in. I was really worried.”

“You don’t need to worry, baby. Ever. Okay? I love you. I just… couldn’t breathe until I saw you.”

That was all you needed. His reassurance. The rest of your shift felt lighter. You were still burdened by the reality and the heaviness of everything but at least he came to see you. At least he needed it as much as you did.

When you got home later Harry was there. He was only wearing his grey sweatpants and he was in the kitchen cooking something.

You placed your purse on the kitchen table and he turned around and sat the wooden spoon on the counter before he met you in the middle of the kitchen to bring you in for a hug.

He said nothing. He just held you for a moment and it felt regenerative to be in his arms. You melted a tiny bit into him and suddenly, without even meaning for it to happen you began to cry.

“Oh, honey…” he whispered as he pulled you into your living room to your couch. You sat down with him and he kept his arms around you.

You couldn’t stop the tears. You couldn’t really think much about your situation while you were at work or you’d have cried in front of your customers. And you definitely didn’t want Caressa to see you in tears. She knew too much already.

“Sorry,” you squeaked out your words against Harry’s chest. You loved that he wasn’t wearing a shirt and that your cheek was smushed into his skin.

“Don’t be sorry. It’s okay to cry. I’m here.”

Harry kissed the top of your head and spoke quietly, “Everything’s going to be okay.”

When you’d finally caught your breath and looked up at him, he smiled softly at your face with tear-stained cheeks, “Thank you for stopping in at work today. That made everything feel so much better.”

Harry took in your red puffy eyes and the way your lip quivered the slightest and sighed as he wiped your tears, “I needed to see you. I’m glad it made you feel better. How was your shift?”

You told him about work and how Caressa hardly spoke to you. Then you discovered that when Harry arrived she hadn’t told you that he was there when he asked her to, “Guess I’m not surprised. She probably hates us both. And what are you making? Smells really good.”

“Just veggie soup and I’ve got some biscuits cooling. Stove’s off so it can sit a bit. It’ll be fine.”

You looked around your living room and it was the first time you noticed the new big-screen TV that had replaced yours, as well as a plant in the corner that hadn’t been there, “So now we live together, huh?” You smiled finally, to Harry’s relief.

“If you still want me here then yes.”

You laughed and leaned back into him, hugging his middle, “Of course I want you here. Need you here.”

Harry put his arms around you, “S’what I wanted to hear. Need to be with you. No matter what that looks like.”

You looked up at him and his curls that were starting to get long and the bit of scruff on his face with his bright eyes and pink lips and you felt like you were lucky to have him. It wasn’t going to be easy to not have Fae in your life. And you would have to deal with the judgment that was to come, but at least you had him. At least you had each other.

“What?” Harry asked as your eyes wandered over his features.

“I just feel grateful that you’re here with me.”

Harry tilted his head to the side as he rubbed your arms up and down, his eyes on yours, “I’m grateful you want me here, Y/n.”

As shitty as everything was and the awful reality that was caging you in and carving the words homewrecker onto your forehead, you felt it in your heart that he was the love of your life. No one else could ever understand it. But Harry did. And you did. And that was all that mattered in that moment.

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ghoststyles · 4 months

Text

You Should Probably Leave

This one shot is inspired by You Should Probably Leave by Chris Stapleton! Hope you enjoy.

3.4K. Smut. Fingering, oral sex, vaginal sex, degradation, the works. hehehe.

The feeling of the pair of lips gently ghosting down your collar bone sends you back in time. A simpler time. Two college students madly in love, unsure where their lives would take them.

You smile gently, drinking in the scene around you; a warm fire lit, a nearly empty bottle of red wine, and a pair of strong hands dancing around your post-baby curves. Throwing your head back, you gasp when he nips and sucks at the soft part of your neck. Pawing at his lap, his hard prick creates a noticeable tent in his pants.

You had a long day. The baby is teething, your nipples are dry and cracked, and you haven’t had an adult conversation in what feels like weeks. It’s been Miss Rachel and Cocomelon until your ears bleed. You’re not sure if it was the wine, but it’s like you’ve been brought back to life. It helps that your husband, an esteemed surgeon, is on his 3rd 24-hour call shift in a two-week span, giving you plenty of time to occupy yourself.

It started off innocent, your friendship with Harry. Your heart stopped when you realized who moved into the house across the street just 6 months ago. The other moms fawned over the new single bachelor in the neighborhood, not realizing it was Harry. Your Harry. Your college boyfriend who you thought you’d run off into the sunset with and travel the world.

In an effort to establish that you’re a married woman, you brought a fresh plate of cookies to his door, your husband in tow. Harry’s slightly perplexed and shocked look on his face when he opened the front door that day was quickly wiped away when your husband introduced yourselves to him.

It wasn’t until a few days later when you got Harry alone. Would he act like he has no idea who you are? Or would it be like a single day hasn’t passed since you left him at your college graduation, not knowing about the ring in his pocket as your parents and grandparents celebrated around you?

You were going on different paths in life, after all. Harry was a risk taker; you, on the other hand, are someone who craves routine and discipline. That’s what you repeat to yourself, trying to convince your brain that he’s not the love of your life. Even 6 years later.

You approach Harry as he is getting his mail one day. Looking around, making sure the nosy moms weren’t around, or your husband isn’t miraculously home from work.

“Hi, Sunny,” Harry says, swallowing thickly.

His words send a punch to your gut. The nickname he called you for over 4 years hits the same, even after all this time. Your husband’s terms of endearment don’t hold a candle to this.

Hesitantly, you cross the street, your arms crossing over your chest to try and slow your beating heart.

“Hi, neighbor. How’d that happen?”

“Are you the only one allowed to come back and live in their college town?”

Ice cold. You weren’t prepared for that kind of response.

“Not at all. Just unexpected, I guess.”

“I think it’s my turn to do something unexpected.”

You nod, pursing your lips in anxiety. You turn to go back in your house, feeling defeated.

“I don’t have social media. I didn’t know you lived here,” he replies gruffly. “If you want to come over for coffee tomorrow morning, you can. I work from home.”

“Okay,” you reply softly, unsure if this is a real invite. Scurrying into the house, you wipe away a small tear that formed in the corner of your eye. Fucking postpartum emotions.

Your racing thoughts are brought to an end when Harry snakes his hand over your stomach. He moans at the excess skin and fat, knowing you brought a life into this world. Weekly coffee dates between neighbors turned into wine nights when the baby goes down. All unbeknownst to your husband and neighbors.

He finally slides his hands in your panties, gently swirling your clit, sending your head back on his shoulder. The stress melts off your body when he inserts his middle finger.

“Mhm, squeeze me, Sunny. Take what you need,” Harry pants in your ear quietly. The baby monitor rests on the side table next to you.

High-pitched whines escape your mouth as he massages your g-spot gently. The angle isn’t allowing him to speed up his thrusts. You come, loudly, a few minutes later as Harry sponges more kisses on your neck and temple.

Shifting to your knees, you simultaneously pull his pants down, his boxers following suit. His prick bobs up, smacking him in the stomach. You nearly keel over, excited to have your mouth on him, as if you haven’t been doing this several nights a week when your husband is at work.

The ruddy tip is dribbling pre come, the perfect lubricant. Since he knows you’re dirty, you spit on him anyway. Harry lets out a mixture of a sigh and whine, desperate to feel your warm mouth on him. You take the plunge, trying to shove as much of him down as you can. It’s hard, but you manage to slightly swipe your nose on the hair at his base.

He’s a man now. He was back then, too. But he’s a man now. The slight belly; a contrast from his rock hard abs in college. And his face is aged, but in a good way. His stamina remains unchanged. A few more sucks and pumps of his dick and balls sends him spiraling. Ropes of his come hit the back of your throat. You absolutely keen as he grunts and thrusts one last time.

With a pop, you slide your mouth off, looking at him with hazy eyes. You roll to the side, laying your chin on his meaty thigh, just above his tiger tattoo.

Harry sighs, knowing what comes next.

I know it ain’t all that late but you should probably leave. And I recognize the look in your eyes, yeah, you should probably leave.

You cover up your bare chest with your sweater, pulling your discarded sleep shorts back on.

“He’ll be home soon, and I want to feed the baby one more time before bed. I hope you understand.”

Harry nods, his face unwilling to let on how much your words hurt. He stands, pulling up his pants and boxers, slipping his sweatshirt overhead.

Harry understood the first time. And the second. And even the third. But, here you both are, months later, entertaining this completely heinous affair. But, he just can’t fucking let you go.

‘Cause I know you, and you know me. And we both know where this is gonna lead

You excused the lingering; the extra kisses. You’ve even let Harry stay in your bed until the minute your husband pulled into the driveway. It’s gone on too long, and you need to set boundaries. But you can’t fucking let him go.

You want me to say that I want you to stay, so you should probably leave

You know it’s wrong. You’re not naive. It’s not even about hurting your husband. The unmitigated amount of guilt that comes from leading Harry on is more than enough to send you straight to hell.

It was dumb luck, Harry moving in across the street. He had to hear about your new life through mutual college friends for years as hestruggled in relationship after relationship. You went off and married a future doctor. A sure thing. At graduation, Harry scored a job in tech. Sure, the field was new at the time, but it wasn’t like he was taking a major risk. You got cold feet and fled.

Harry leans down to place one more chaste kiss on your lips before he wordlessly slips out the door toward his own house. You stare out the window after him until a shrill cry rings over the baby monitor, catapulting you into your reality.

And it’s hard to resist, just one kiss, then you should probably leave

When Harry knocks on your door around 11PM just two nights after the last encounter with an overnight bag in hand, you’re not sure what to say. The baby went down easier tonight, allowing you to feel more relaxed.

“I talked to him yesterday at the gym. He said he’d be on call at the hospital until tomorrow morning.”

You nod, confirming what he’s saying. Your husband kissed you goodbye after a failed attempt at intimacy this morning. You made up some excuse of feeling off, so he jerked himself in the shower while you laid in fetal position, the guilt eating you alive.

Harry storms past you, immediately heading to your bedroom. The bedroom you share with your husband. The bedroom just down the hall from your sleeping baby. You sigh, closing the front door gently.

Harry places his bag on the chair in the corner, taking note of the clothing strewn around the room. He’d hate to leave behind an article of his clothing that would expose their secret. Harry pulls his shirt off by the collar, baring his chest to you.

It never fails to smack the wind out of you. His toned, tattooed abdomen is illuminated by the lamp in the corner. You place your palms on his pecs, leaning in for a hungry kiss. You can tell he doesn’t want to talk tonight.

“Strip,” He demands in between kisses.

You meet his gaze, giving your best puppy dog eyes. He doesn’t buy it. You peel off your sleep shirt and shorts, leaving yourself in a pair of white panties.

“Face down, ass up, Sunny.”

A shrill whine escapes your frowning mouth. You put up little protest and situate yourself on the bed. It’s tantalizing, the hold he has on you. The history. The lore. The taboo nature of your relationship. If that’s what you can call it.

You crawl onto the bed, ignoring the framed photo from your wedding day on the bedside table. Harry stands at the foot of the bed, admiring your plump ass, a small wet patch forming in the gusset of the panties.

Harry lightly palms your ass as you jam your head further into the comforter. He squeezes and pulls at the skin, debating where to start. He starts by rubbing his middle and ring fingers over the wet patch.

Increasing the pressure, he leans over you, his lips tickling the shell of your ear, “I’m gonna eat you out, fuck you, fill you up, and we’re gonna keep these panties on. A little treat for when your husband comes home.”

Fuck.

“Harry, fuck,” you stutter.

He’s now face to face with your backside. You feel one lewd, long, lick up your folds - through your underwear. It’s so, so good. In between licks, you hear him speak again.

“You know what I can’t figure out?” He asks, almost laughing to himself.

You dare not to respond, instead focus on his assault to your pussy. His grip on your thighs is that of the jaws of life, destined to leave marks.

“I’ve been fucking tearing this pussy up for,” he trails off. “Months, now? And your dumb fuck husband still has no idea? Not a clue about our history? How you were mine first? Does he even pay a crumb of attention to you?”

You cry out after a big swipe, the tickling feeling of the damp fabric on your pussy lips driving you wild. You’re holding back big, fat crocodile tears. You’re in this situation because you want to have your cake and eat it, too.

“Tell me, Sunny. Does he fuck you with the lights off? Or a quickie in the shower? If he’s the love of your life, then why do you have to get attention from me? Hm?”

Fisting the comforter, the tears are now falling rapidly. You choke out a sob and clench your pussy around nothing.

Again, you don’t answer his questions. Instead, he picks up the pace of his licks, focusing directly on your clit. He knows the left side is more sensitive than the right, so his tongue stays swirling in that direction.

You come, quickly and loudly, smacking your hand against the bed. Harry chuckles to himself bitterly. Your head is still spinning, but you feel Harry peel back the gusset of the panties and slide the tip of his cock through the folds.

He still has his pants on, but the buttons are popped open and his cock is sticking out over the band of his underwear. The edge of the lacy fabric touching the sensitive head makes him grunt out a moan.

“Always so fucking needy. You need me, don’t you, Sunny? Tell me,” he mocks.

“I need you, Harry,” you whimper, your body ready to collapse to the bed.

“Mm-mm. Tell me who you need right now, Sunny.”

“You, Daddy. I need you,” your wobbly lip makes you sound pathetic.

He plunges in at your words, both of you gasping at the same time. You’re made for one another; You’re the lock and he’s the key. Even on the best nights with your husband, he gives you a mediocre performance at best. Your thrusts are never timed, and he refuses to talk dirty in your ear.

“That’s right, Sunny. Good girl,” he mocks you again, his thrusts sending shockwaves throughout your body. You can feel his thumb trace around the edge of your asshole, making you mewl.

Harry leans over you, enveloping his body over yours. His lips ghost your ear again. The tone of his voice is low and sultry.

“Y’know what I think, Sunny girl?” he asks, sucking your earlobe into his mouth. “I bet you wish that sweet little baby in the other room was mine. Bet you wish it was me you walked down the aisle to.”

You gasp, heart stopping at the mention of your baby. Up until this point, you’ve been able to compartmentalize this part of your life. You start to protest, but he slips his right hand around your throat, squeezing gently.

“Hm? Based on the way you’re squeezing me, I think I’m right,” the smug tone of voice is glaringly obvious. “Think of the life we could’ve had, Sunny. I think about it every day of my fucking life. Would’ve given you the world.”

Like a devil on my shoulder you keep whisperin’ in my ear. And it’s gettin’ kinda hard for me to do the right thing here. I wanna do the right thing, baby

“I know,” you finally choke out. Your conversations during your romps remain light, usually. But, tonight. Tonight feels different. His grip on your throat tightens as you feel him start to slow his thrusts. "Fuck, Harry. I know."

“Thought I’d hit the lottery when you and your husband knocked on my door that day. Thought I’d been given a second chance. Finally have you forever.”

He’s fully panting at this point, and you’re unsure how he’s even talking. You clench around him, making him moan again. He kisses your neck, sweat freely dripping all over both of you. Instead of burying deep in you, he pulls out slightly as he comes, coating the inside and outside of your pussy, and dripping into the panties.

It’s lewd, and disgusting. But, it’s everything.

Harry’s lifts his body from his place on top of you, the slight breeze his shifting caused making you shiver. Harry moves to a half standing position to grab his phone off the bedside table. He snaps a quick photo of the scene in front of him.

You look ethereal. Your perfect, plump ass is complimented by the underwear now doused in his scent and spunk. The contrast of the dry and wet parts of the panties has him wanting to jerk off again.

Reluctantly, he pulls out, and uses his thumb to snap the fabric back in place. He doubts your husband will even give you the time of day once he’s home. But, it’d be an epic way for your secret to be exposed.

It’s nearing 1AM, so Harry stands to go into your ensuite to fetch a towel. Now, you’ve fully collapsed into the bed. He gently wipes just enough cum from around your pussy and thighs. He leaves a majority of it for the treasure hunt.

You finally build up the strength and courage to pick up a discarded T-shirt on the floor. At the same time, he’s putting on a fresh pair of boxers from his bag. You can’t bring yourself to meet his eye as you start reeling over the degrading words that came out of his mouth. You have every right to be disgusted by him, but you can’t bring yourself to be. Because he’s not wrong.

You’d made a mistake. You knew about 6 months into your marriage. You loved your husband. Or maybe the idea of him. You met him when he was 2 years into his surgical residency. The perks and the bragging rights of dating a doctor got to your head. Every date, every argument and every moment of adversity had you wondering what it’d have been like with Harry.

Life with Harry was easy. You got the best of both worlds; a hot boyfriend and a fun social life. But, when your sister introduced you to a man with a full 8-year plan carved out, you chose the safe option. What a fuck-up that was.

Harry climbs into the bed next to you, still not saying a word. That’s the thing. With Harry, you don’t have to. Your energies and emotions just work. He gently pulls you down so you’re laying horizontally on your side, and he slots his legs between yours, nuzzling his face in your neck.

In this moment, everything feels right.

Harry didn’t sleep much. He tried. But, something deep inside him was gnawing at his soul. His eyes were closed the whole night, but he never quite crossed the threshold into sleep.

He still had all his five senses; the sliver of light from the lamppost outside; the slight white noise coming from the radiator; the smell of your shampoo mixed with the lewd activities of tonight; the feel of your hot skin touching his; and finally, the residual taste of your pussy on his tongue.

The sun is rising now, signaling the end of your time together.

The sliver of light on your frame has his heart bursting with adoration. It’s true, what he’d said before. He does think about what your future would’ve been like. Your long eyelashes cast shadows on your slightly cherub cheeks. You would’ve made beautiful children. Gone on memorable family trips. And at the end of the day, fucking love each other.

Sun on your skin, 6AM and I been watchin’ you sleep. And honey, I’m so afraid you’re gonna wake up and say that you should probably leave.

A year ago, Harry thought you’d leave your husband by now. But, as time goes on, his odds of getting you back are getting less and less. His heart is breaking all over again.

You feel him stir, so you turn over and smile at him. You run your hands up and down his bare chest, feeling every prickly hair. He smiles back at you, not saying a word.

You finally pipe up, a clear, sad tone, “Y’know how much I hate saying this.”

“I should probably leave.”

You nod sadly, placing a kiss on his chest. It’s honestly a miracle the baby hasn’t woken up yet. Harry kisses you, his thumb grabbing your chin. It lasts a few minutes until you pull away. Your husband is due home in less than 45 minutes.

I want you to stay, but you’ll probably say that you should probably leave.

You should probably leave.

Harry rises to sit at the side of the bed, grabbing his phone. 6:12 AM. You think he’s fiddling with his phone to prolong his stay. His bag is already packed by the door. You smile to yourself, happy to have your lover by your side. He places one last kiss on your forehead.

Before Harry stands, he sends off an email to his realtor, confirming the sale of his house. $15,000 over asking price. It was a private showing, with an agreement that Harry would be out of the house in two weeks.

He already purchased a home — Approximately 1,326 miles away from this one. Everything is set. His mind is made up.

Harry stands, grabbing his bag. He takes one last look at you as he stands in the doorframe, an unreadable look on his face.

“Bye, Sunny girl.”

617 notes · View notes

deandoesthingstome · 1 year

Text

Holiday Angel

Pairing: CEO!August Walker x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 18K; Um. You’re welcome? Get some snacks and water.

@fvckinghenrycavill asked nicely, so I'm releasing this earlier than planned. Also, I think @mayloma might be waiting patiently?

Warnings: age difference (m 40′s, f 20′s; it’s your best friend’s dad for god’s sake), mention of cheating, mention of phone sex, masturbation (f), light!dom (m)/sub (f), praise kink, lingerie, oral sex (m and f receiving), fingering, p in v sex in various positions, protected sex, light bondage, spanking and ass play; if this doesn’t sound like something you’d be into, I won’t be offended if you scroll on by

A/N: Let's be clear: I've only seen MI:Fallout once. I really only know August from Tumblr. This is an AU, where he is not a traitorous anarchist. I also am not comfortable writing a strict dom, so please take a softer August than you may be used too. Additionally, you are a US college Junior in this story (21-ish). Don't worry, I'm not 21 either. Trust me. It's okay. This is a fantasy.

I've also been extremely self-indulgent here. You're gonna see some names you might recognize. You might wonder what college you go to, where in the US you are, or what year it is. I have taken many liberties. Please absolutely enjoy them. (And if anyone was following along with this post, you may notice a scene change. Trying out my inclusivity options.)

And I have a Spotify playlist I used for various scene inspiration if you're interested.

Disclaimer: I don’t own August Walker (could anyone really tie him down?), but I do own these words and this story. Do not repost as your own. Likes, Reblogs, and Comments are more than welcome. It’s how I get my nourishment.

Header by me. Dividers by the ever wonderful and giving @firefly-graphics.

You dropped the Blue Book for your last final on Professor Marshall's desk and skipped out of the room with glee, suppressing the urge to turn back and grab one more mental image of the grumpy professor for the road.

Christmas break was officially on!

Gemma was waiting in the loading zone outside McKinney Hall, her brand new Audi packed with both your bags and ready for the five hour road trip home.

"Bitch, what took you so long?" she teased, knowing you were actually a little early. You had breezed through the test and ran back to the dorms to meet her. She handed you your favorite iced coffee indulgence, a special treat for making it through the week.

"Let's hit it!" you shouted, turning up the volume on the Spotify playlist Gemma had primed and ready to go.

You swapped driving duties halfway, stopping at a drive-thru to grab french fries to supplement the cut fruit and snacks you packed for the trip.

"God, I am craving salt right now!" Gemma exclaimed.

"Auntie on the way?" you sympathized.

"Yesss," Gemma groaned. "And Mikey wants to meet up first thing when he flies in on Sunday. God I hope she gets lost on the way!"

"How's that been going? Long distance and all."

You were glad you and Gemma had decided NOT to room together again after the fiascos of Freshman and Sophomore year. It was only through the saving grace of several grueling classes that kept you library or study group bound for a good portion of the time that you had been able to overcome the petty drama.

It was Gemma's father who had actually suggested she move off campus alone this year and you were pleased to find a lighter class load that allowed you to spend more quality time with your childhood best friend without wanting to rip her face off every five minutes. He was so wise, that Mr. Walker.

But living apart kept you from knowing every single detail of each other's lives, so the drive was a perfect time to catch up on the minutiae.

"It's been weird, honestly. I mean, hooking up last summer was totally unexpected. I can't believe he finally let Chelsea go, but what a fucking night that was!" Gemma squealed as you tamped down your jealousy.

Everyone in high school had the hots for Mike, and you were no exception. But Gemma caught his eye at the last hurrah before heading back to college this past September and, well, girl code. Even if your tastes in men hadn’t already started changing, he was off your list forever now. Especially because he had actually seemed hellbent on making a true go of it with her, promising nightly calls that unfortunately turned weekly as the semester dragged on.

"He's seemed a little distant lately. Distracted. That missed call on Halloween really had me questioning everything he said about giving us a shot. But he's been making it up to me. The phone sex..."

"Stop. Please. I don't want to hear about him slapping one out over the phone," you laughed.

"He sounds so sexy when he comes. Long distance or otherwise."

"Ugh, god. Stop!"

"What? Like you don't love it too! What's up with you and Charlie?"

"Fuck him,” you scoffed. “D'you know, I caught him with Brigette?"

"Your roommate Brigette?"

"Yup. Right before finals started. I need to find a new living situation for next semester, stat!"

"God, why didn't you say something??? Are you okay?"

"I'm surprisingly fine. Things hadn't been so hot lately and honestly, I just don't think he's for me."

"What, missionary all the way?"

You both laughed until the tears were running.

"You should've seen his face when I asked to be on top once. It was like I killed his dog or something."

"Jesus, yeah. You're better off. You need a real man," Gemma declared.

You laughed again, but it came out with a hitch in your throat. A real man was right.

"What was that?" Gemma asked.

"What was what?" you feigned innocence, and held your breath.

"You laughed like you're hiding something. You got a thing going with one of your professors?"

You exhaled as normally as possible. Easy enough to fib your way out of this one with an opening like that.

"God, nothing's going on. But have you seen Professor Marshall? I alternately congratulate and kick myself for choosing a criminal justice major. That man is so fine to look at," you let out a whistle. "It's distracting!"

"So I've heard. Think it's too late to switch majors?"

"Why would I?"

"Not you, silly! Me," Gemma laughed.

"Your father would be so disappointed if you didn't finish your business degree. Who's he gonna leave the company to?" You winked at her, knowing she wanted nothing to do with it. She was only playing along, hoping to find a college boyfriend that would be able to keep her in the lifestyle to which she was accustomed.

You didn't think Mikey was it, but hey. Neither your circus nor your monkeys. You chatted for a bit longer before Gemma dropped into a light sleep. Girl could never last in the car as a passenger on long drives. The hum of the road put her out if she wasn’t in charge of driving.

While she slept, you thought about Mr. Walker.

When did this infatuation start? You’d met Gemma, and by extension Mr. Walker, in 5th grade after your parents had moved across town and into a new school district. Mrs. Walker had already passed and you don’t know why Gemma’s father never remarried, but you also never saw or heard about him bringing a woman home to meet her.

In high school, when you really started paying attention to boys, you began to notice how good looking Mr. Walker was. But the most you ever hoped for was to meet a boy who would grow up to be as handsome. It wasn’t until lately, when some of your college professors had piqued your interest, that you began to fantasize about him, too. This might be a long week.

You pulled up the scenic drive and parked in front of the Walker residence around 8pm. Gemma blinked her eyes opened and stretched before getting out of the car.

"You sure it's okay I stay here until my parents get back?" you leaned over the gear shift to call out the door. "I can't believe they scheduled a whole house reflooring right before Christmas and then skipped town on me to boot."

"It's totally fine. Dad's probably gonna be busy 24-7 at the office so we'll have the run of the house. And thank God for heated pools!"

You kept your mouth shut, knowing if you showed any interest at all in why Mr. Walker would be so busy this close to the end of the year your face would probably melt off from the heat you felt every time you thought about him lately. Let alone the image of him in swim trunks in the pool. Or not in swim trunks.

Gemma leaned back into the open passenger door and you snapped out of it.

"Coming?"

You turned your whole body to open the driver door, desperate to hide from her the wanton desire you were sure adorned your face. Coming, indeed.

You both grabbed your bags from the back seat and headed up the pristine sidewalk towards the stately mid-century modern mansion Gemma called a "house". The thing could host a Hollywood premiere party and was decorated with such understated glamor you wouldn't be surprised if it would play backdrop to such a party one day. Or maybe a movie set.

The tall, rich wooden door had a thin vertical metal handle stretching from a quarter of the way down the right side, stopping a quarter of the way up from the bottom. A warm glow streamed through the large panels of windows stretching across the front of the house and exposing the elegantly decorated Christmas tree in the front living room surrounded by sleek, minimal furniture.

When Gemma finally tapped in the key code and opened the door, you stepped into the flagstone entryway and smiled at the white lights nestled in the pine garland covering the banisters of the floating stairs leading up to the master bedroom and sitting area loft, then down to the basement holding several guest rooms, the fitness and media rooms, as well as Gemma's room.

Another couple guest room suites could be found on the main entry level along with the custom gourmet kitchen and pantry, dining area, mud and laundry rooms. You knew Mr. Walker's home office was somewhere on this level as well, though you'd never dared venture down the hall to find it. He’d always made it very clear it was off limits.

You were dying to sink into the oversized conversation couch that surrounded the sunken floor of the family room in the back of the house and stare off into the fire or out the back windows onto the deck overlooking the pool but Gemma called for you to follow her downstairs first.

"I have to get out of these clothes and then we'll DoorDash."

"No need, sweetheart." Your heart stopped as you heard the deep voice call from upstairs. "I made dinner, it's just warming in the oven. I'll get plates ready for you both, so hurry settling in."

"Dad! I thought you'd still be at the office!" Gemma exclaimed, dropping her bags and heading to the landing to give her father a hug and turning her head away to accept his kiss on the cheek.

"Well, I couldn't let you two eat cold takeout. They can never keep it warm on the drive out here." He turned, letting go of Gemma and opening his arms to you in what should have been a normal welcoming gesture if you hadn’t just been fantasizing about him half the ride home. "Good to see you again."

You suppressed a flustered squeak and pressed your lips together to stifle the drool, thankful Gemma was now behind her father and couldn't see your face as you reached for the hug. But he could. Did. For sure. Fuck.

"Thank you so much, Mr. Walker. That's very kind of you," you managed to reply while trying not to inhale his scent too deep.

"It was nothing," he let go of you and stepped back, slipping his hands slowly into the pockets of his dress slacks.

Were you staring at his muscular forearms, visible below the line of his crisp, white rolled up sleeves? God, you were. Get a fucking grip.

"We'll be right back, Dad. Thanks."

Gemma led you downstairs and sent you off to your regular overnight room down the hall from hers. You were grateful both rooms had their own bathrooms so you didn't have to pass her on your way to splash cold water on your face.

How were you going to survive these next few days before your parents came back with your aunt, uncle, and cousin for Christmas? Gemma wasn't wrong about needing a real man. You'd put up with immature boys all through high school.

Once you started college, a series of gorgeous, educated older men led your lectures over the last few years and your desires had slowly shifted. It really was no problem that Charlie had cheated on you. Perfect opportunity to drop him and move on to something more meaningful. And hopefully someone more experienced.

Has Mr. Walker been in your sights all along? No. No way. But here he was now. It wasn't right to think about him this way, but fuck he looked good tonight, that fluffy curl hanging down and that porn 'stache. What else could you call it? He even had a little of the scruff you'd really enjoyed seeing on Professor Marshall. You wondered how it would feel between your... You heaved a sigh. This can not happen.

You splashed another round of cold water and then dried your face, swapped your jeans for light cotton joggers, and then climbed the stairs to join Gemma and her dad in the dining room.

"There you are," Mr. Walker announced, standing at the head of the table with a bottle in his hand. "We thought you'd gotten lost." He flashed what felt like a knowing smirk as you froze in your tracks.

"Dad, don't be daft. She knows her way around the house." She turned to you from her seat to the right of her father and motioned to your usual guest spot across the table from her, to the left of Mr. Walker.

"Oh, let me have my fun, Gemma. Would you girls like some wine?"

"'Girls', dad? Really?"

"What would you prefer?"

"Ladies?"

Mr. Walker chuckled as he picked up the bottle and poured two glasses of wine.

"Right then. There you go, ladies."

He tilted his head to the side and glanced at you as he split his arms and passed the glasses over by the stems. You did your best to grab the bowl, but his fingers shifted up slightly as he released your glass. You heated again as they brushed the back of your hand and you took a sip immediately, trying to cover the pleasure that had to be apparent on your face.

You set the glass down and picked up your knife and fork, preparing to dig into the plate of luscious looking food in front of you. You took a bite and tried to suppress it, but a groan slipped out of your mouth as your eyes rolled closed. You closed your lips and chewed the fork-tender meat, marveling at it melting away in your mouth. When you finished swallowing, you opened your eyes to find Gemma staring at you, mouth agape.

You turned your head to find Mr. Walker's piercing blue eyes trained on yours as he leaned casually against the arm of the oversized dining chair.

"Enjoying it?"

You blinked and remembered where you were, who you were with.

"Mr. Walker, these short ribs are divine!" you declared.

"Jesus. You act like you never ate a home-cooked meal before," Gemma snapped.

"Sorry, I just," you shook your head to clear the fog. "I mean you’ve always been a great cook, I've just never tasted anything like this."

"It's good, right?" Mr. Walker asked. “I’ve been expanding my repertoire lately.”

"It really is. Oh my god I'm so embarrassed! Gemma, I'm sorry. That was..."

You stared at her across the table with a silent plea, your eyes begging her to say something, anything. You were about to give up completely when Gemma burst into laughter, tears streaming down her face.

"You absolute freak!" she laughed and you let out a breath and laughed with her.

You kept your shit together during the rest of the dinner for the most part. But Mr. Walker poured another few glasses of wine and you could feel yourself getting tipsy.

"I think I need to head to bed, but do you need any help in the kitchen, Mr. Walker?" you asked.

"No, but thank you for the offer. Be careful down those stairs." Did he wink at you?

"See you in the morning!" Gemma called, with a lightness that told you she had well and truly forgiven the awkwardness of just an hour or so ago.

You peeled off your thin sweater and discarded your bra, leaving just a lacy camisole and your joggers. You pulled back the thick pile of covers on the bed and were about to climb in, when a wave of thirst overtook you.

You opened the bedroom door and stepped softly into the hall. The Walkers always kept a mini-fridge stocked in the media room down here. You froze as you entered the doorway.

"Oh, Mr. Walker! I was just..."

"I thought you might want a bottle of water for your nightstand."

You exhaled a small laugh as you both spoke at the same time, but then froze again as you watched the way he held the bottle. Low, at his hips. One hand on the base, the other fiddling with the cap.

" Wh..where's Gemma?" you practically whispered, unable to get your voice to cooperate suddenly.

"She's finishing up the dishes. I’m sure she'll be right down," he replied with a firm, confident tone. "Did you want this?"

He gave a slight nod in the direction of his hands, where you saw he was now tipping the bottle back and forth, before finally offering it to you with an outstretched arm and hand gripped firm around the plastic form.

"Here. Take it."

You nodded and reached for the bottle, once again trying to avoid his touch. Once again finding your fingers brushing against his.

“There you go.”

Your stomach dropped along with his voice as you realized what a terrible idea staying here was. There was no way you were going to be able to hide your desire from Gemma if her father was going to keep acting like this. Time stood still while you tried to move something, anything. Your eyes away from his. Your mouth to say thank you. Your feet to head back to your room.

"Let's get you back to bed," he stepped forward, turning you with a hand on your shoulder, then sliding that hand down your side to your waist and guiding you down the hall.

He stopped at the door frame, pressing you gently into the room. You almost moaned at the loss of his touch as you stepped out of his reach and sat on the edge of the bed, finally finding your voice.

"Thank you, Mr. Walker."

"Sweet dreams." He absolutely winked at you. Fuck.

He pulled the door shut, leaving you all alone with the crazy feelings stirring inside you. This is your best friend's father. You reclined back in the bed. Snap out of it. Girl code isn't just about boyfriends. Pulled the covers over you. Besides, he's like, twice your age, at least. Stared at the dark ceiling, while your fingers shifted under the covers and down your belly. But the way he looked at you tonight. Slipped a hand past the waistband of your pants. He wasn't just being polite. Tentatively touched the heat between your legs.

He was flirting, there was no denying it. Maybe you could have written off the hand brush at dinner, but he was showing off with the bottle of water. He wanted you to look.

You swirled a finger gently through your folds, gathering the slick and spreading it around. You thought about his mischievous grin, his tailored pants, and his strong hands before plunging two fingers deep inside, pulling them back out slowly to circle your clit.

"More," you whispered to yourself, then obliged with fingers deep again, arching your back for better positioning.

"Right there," you moaned quietly, letting the fantasy circle around your head. You pumped in and out, curling deep to find your sweet, spongy spot while you toyed with the idea of letting him touch you.

"Please," you begged, pressing a thumb against your clit, twitching with anticipation. You couldn't wait any longer.

You pulled your slick fingers from your clenching walls and focused all your attention on your clit, rubbing tenderly while you imagined his mouth on you.

"God, Mr. Walker!" you gasped, finally reaching your peak. "August," you whispered, rolling to your side and clasping the blanket close around you while you worked to slow your heart rate before drifting off to sleep.

You woke late on Saturday. It was 10 am when you looked at the clock. The floor to ceiling blackout curtains had really done their job.

You skipped the shower, even though you craved one after the long drive and your private activity the night before. Instead, you just washed your face and wrapped a thin robe around yourself before heading up to find breakfast. Gemma was sitting at the kitchen counter typing away on her phone, empty cereal bowl in front of her.

“Oh, good. You’re up! And you didn’t shower already, perfect. Grab a bite and then let’s hang in the hot tub this morning. I have a kink in my neck from that car ride I need to work out!”

You poured yourself a bowl of cereal and mug of steaming coffee and took a seat in a low back leather barstool next to Gemma. She let you eat in silence while she finished her text conversation.

“Ugh,” she exclaimed, slamming the phone on the counter. “I can’t believe Mike got put on shift at the end of finals week.”

“That why he couldn’t get home already?”

“Yeah, says it’s like a right of passage for all new bartenders at the club. Business is light, but they schedule you with a threat that you’ll lose shifts the following semester if you don’t stay to serve the stragglers and the few locals who pop in the bar once the college crowd clears out for break.”

“But he’ll be home tomorrow, right?”

“Yep. You done?” She watched for your nod. “Well get changed and let’s hit the tub.”

You headed back downstairs to your room and fished your bikini out of your luggage. After changing, you threw the curtains aside and pulled open the sliding door leading to the heated pool deck. Gemma must have had her suit on under her robe because she was already soaking by the time you stepped outside.

You slipped into the bubbling water, immediately grateful for the suggestion. The warmth began to work on your own tension you hadn’t even realized you were holding and you let out a little moan.

“I hear you on that,” Gemma stated. “I hate long car rides! They fuck with my spinal alignment.”

“Yeah, this water feels so good.” You closed your eyes and tilted your head back against the side of the tub, sinking as deep as you could without dipping your face in the water. You snapped up when you heard the splash and blinked your eyes open to see a figure skimming under the water from the far deep end of the pool to the shallow end closer to where you sat in the hot tub.

When Mr. Walker popped his head above water and hung on the side of the pool to say good morning, you were ever so grateful for the steam hiding any lust in your eyes.

“Hey dad.” Gemma turned from her spot to face him.

“Are you ladies getting in the pool this morning?” he smirked.

“No, I think we’re just gonna soak and then go veg in front of the TV for a bit,” she replied, hanging off the side of the hot tub.

“Alright, well, I’m headed out to check on a few sites this afternoon. Should I plan on you for dinner or have you made other arrangements?” Mr. Walker asked.

“Dinner here sounds great, dad. Thanks.”

Gemma turned back to you as you watched Mr. Walker duck back into the water and begin a series of laps. You fluttered your eyes closed so she couldn’t see how blown your pupils were, watching him first speak with Gemma and then propel his body through the water. God, he was practically naked over there. You were practically naked over here. You leaned your head back again to pray for relief.

When you both felt loose and relaxed enough, you climbed out of the hot tub, grabbing an oversized towel from the lidded basket next to the pool to dry off. You were just bending over to reach your lower legs and feet when you heard the splash of footsteps on the pool stairs.

“Right then, that’s me done. And don’t you two load up on snacks while I’m gone. You’ll spoil your appetite.”

You held your breath as he leaned next to you to grab a towel, another mysterious smirk on his face as he rose to face you. You stood and pulled your towel up your body, pretending to wipe non-existent water from your face just to avoid any further eye contact. His body was amazing and his wet swim trunks were clinging to his thighs. If Gemma caught you staring, you were done for.

When it felt safe, you lowered the towel from your face and watched him pad up the staircase leading to the main level before entering the house. Your heart was beating a million miles per hour, but luckily Gemma was already heading inside herself.

You showered finally, then donned some comfy loungewear and joined Gemma in the media room where she’d already cued up Netflix.

“Ready to binge The Witcher?” she asked. “They just released the new season last night.”

“Ugh, that man could raw-dog me all day and night!”

“Where is the lie???!!!???” she laughed with you.

You grabbed some water from the mini-fridge, doing your best to ignore the scene from last night that popped into your head as you settled into an oversized, reclining theater seat. Gemma paused the autoplay on the third episode and asked if you wanted some lunch. You were hungry, alright. But yeah, a sandwich sounded good.

There were still at least 3 more episodes of the season left, when Mr. Walker called down around 6.

“I’m starting dinner now. It’ll be ready shortly.”

“We’ll help,” Gemma called and flipped off the tv. You both headed upstairs to the kitchen. Gemma began to set the dining table, so you sat at the kitchen counter and asked what you could do.

“You could prep that basil for me,” Mr. Walker replied. “Here, like this.”

You watched rapt, as he proceeded to show you how he wanted you to tear the leaves gently into small pieces. When he was sure you had it right, he drizzled some olive oil in a large shallow saute pan and waited for it to warm before tossing in two packages of gnocchi.

He stirred them around for a few minutes and when he was satisfied by their state, he ladeled them out into a serving bowl. He scooped out a few and offered them over the counter to you and Gemma. You each plucked a warm, crispy potato pillow from the spoon and you sighed when you popped it in your mouth, happy that Gemma was making the same noise and you wouldn’t be called out this time. Something about food with Mr. Walker was becoming increasingly sensual to you.

He added some more olive oil and then butter to the pan, waiting for it to melt before pouring in the heirloom cherry tomatoes he’d asked you to dry off from the colander in the deep sink. He sprinkled in some salt and gave them a quick stir, then turned to the open the fridge, pulling out a bottle of wine.

He poured three glasses set on the counter and pushed two towards you and Gemma with his fingers pressed on the base of the stems. Then he raised his own glass.

“I’m glad you’re home, sweetheart,” he tipped his glass to Gemma, and then toward you. “Both of you, of course.”

You took a small sip, watching over the rim as he did the same and you held your breath while your eyes trailed along his throat as he swallowed, hoping Gemma didn’t notice you staring.

The three of you chatted amicably, while Mr. Walker stirred the tomatoes in the pan until they began to burst, at which point he dumped the crispy gnocchi back into the pan. You watched in awe as he lifted the heavy pan with one hand and gave it a good toss, shifting it back and forth with subtle little wrist flicks that nestled the gnocchi into the simple sauce. Then he stirred in some fresh mozzarella pearls and some of the hand-torn basil, giving you a wink of thanks, before popping the whole thing under the broiler.

He asked Gemma to carry the salad and offered you the last pour of wine before sending you off to the dining room with a fresh bottle. Seated at your usual spot, you piled a moderate amount of the bubbly dish onto your plate, inhaling the heavenly scent of basil and tomato. Mr. Walker raised an eyebrow as he held a small bowl of shaved parmesan in your direction. When you nodded, he held the dish for you while you sprinkled the cheese over your plate, eyes watching you the whole time. The fact that he simply turned and handed the bowl to Gemma to let her hold it while she sprinkled her own cheese was not lost on you.

The white wine wasn’t affecting you the way the red had the night before, so once dinner was over, you and Gemma helped clean up and then headed downstairs to finish out the season before going to bed.

You woke yourself up in the middle of the night with your hand down your pants again, teasing your slit while you recalled the dream.

A rugged man with long silvery hair helped you down off his horse and led you to a blanket in a clearing near a steamy pool of water. From a small bowl, he plucked a tiny ripe tomato with his fingers and gently pressed it into your waiting mouth. You sighed as the tomato burst when you bit into it and shivered when he bent over to lick the juice running down your chin with the tip of his tongue before pressing you to your back and holding you down with a heavy kiss. You whispered his name into the night once again as you came.

“August.”

In the morning, you peeled the covers back and stretched your way out of bed. The pleasure of the mid-slumber release you gave yourself last night still tingled in your mind. You showered and dressed, then climbed the stairs again searching for Gemma and hopefully breakfast, missing that her door was still closed. You stopped short seeing Mr. Walker alone in the kitchen.

“Good morning. Did you sleep alright?” He spoke with a suspicious tone. It was like he knew. How could he know?

You swallowed and tried to find your voice. “I did. Thank you.”

“Coffee?” He held the french press up and grabbed a mug when you nodded. “I have a frittata here, too, if you’d like some.”

“Yes, please. Smells amazing,” you inhaled and closed your eyes slowly, remembering the meals from the last few nights as well. “You’re a really good cook, Mr. Walker.”

“I certainly try,” he winked at you. “So what do you two have going on today?”

“I don’t know. Mike gets in this afternoon and I think Gemma wants to meet up with him.”

“Will you be joining them?”

You blinked and swallowed. How do you tell a father that his daughter is probably going to be getting railed six ways to Sunday tonight, so no, you wouldn’t be joining them?

“Uh…”

“Morning!” Gemma’s cheery greeting broke the tension and you were thankful you didn’t have to tell Mr. Walker that the reunion tonight was for Gemma alone. She gave her father a peck on the cheek and poured herself a cup of coffee.

“Gemma, sweetheart, are you meeting Mike tonight?” Mr. Walker asked.

“I am!” she grinned.

“Alone?”

“Yeaahhhh…” she answered, just short of shy. “Sorry dad, I probably should have said something earlier. But you can handle a night without me, right?”

Mr. Walker stared at her for a moment and suddenly all the tension was back in the room. He had to know what was going to go on tonight. How could he not?

“I’m sure I can figure something out. But please, be safe.”

You pursed your lips and widened your eyes as you turned away from them. Was he saying what it sounded like he was saying? Did he have no illusions about the extracurricular activities of his one and only daughter? Sure, she was of age and he had to know what she got up to away from home, but still. If you had to tell your parents you were going to be skipping a night home with them to get it on with your boyfriend, you’d probably melt into the furniture.

“Always am,” Gemma exclaimed cheerfully.

“Alright, well, I’m off. I have some work to finish up here and then a few more site visits to make today.”

“On a Sunday, dad, really?”

“We’re very close to closing this deal and it has to be done before the end of the year. I want to be sure the due diligence is correct so I don’t get stuck with a billion dollar dud when everything is said and done.”

“You’re obsessed.”

“About the things I care about, why wouldn’t I be? You two have fun today. Gemma, I suppose I’ll see you tomorrow?” He raised an eyebrow at her.

“Not before you get home, unless you’re not going into the office tomorrow?”

“To be determined.” He gave you both a short goodbye wave and headed out.

“Awk - ward…” you sing-songed, once you were sure he was out of range.

“Ugh, I know. He’s not stupid. I mean, he knows I’m active, but it’s still a little weird being so forthcoming with him about it.”

“Has he ever had anyone…” you asked before you could filter the thought.

“I mean, you’re here all the time when I’m home. Have you ever seen him bring a woman around? I know he’s dated over the years, but no one’s ever good enough for him. They never last so he never wants to introduce us. It’s a little sad, really.”

You nodded in agreement.

“Do you want to have a swim and sit in the hot tub for a bit again this morning? Mikey’s flight gets in at 3, so I was hoping you and I could head into town for lunch and maybe some shopping and then you could drop me at his place and drive my car back here. Unless you want to meet up with anyone, of course.”

“Sounds perfect. I’m honestly just looking forward to another veg fest tonight.”

You changed into your bathing suit and slipped a robe over top, then met Gemma on the heated pool deck.

“I can’t get over how warm it is right now! Clearly no hope for a white Christmas.”

“I know! Air’s still a bit chilly, but yeah, sucks. I’d love snow for the holidays,” you replied, dropping your towel on a lounge chair and untying your robe. You slid the fabric off your shoulders, and stepped down the stairs into the warm, salt water pool. You let your body acclimate a bit before dipping your head completely under and pushing off the bottom to glide to the far side in one breath. When you surfaced, you grabbed a hold of the side of the pool and realized Mr. Walker was standing at his office windows, staring down at you.

He held your gaze for what felt like a moment too long, then turned away, presumably toward his desk, but impossible for you to see his face. Which, to be honest, was fine because for a minute it felt like he was going to burst through the windows and eat you up.

The splash as Gemma broke the surface next to you snapped you out of your reverie and she tugged you back from the side, urging you into an easy lap race. You swam back and forth the length of the pool about twenty times before stopping back at the shallow end.

“That all you got?” Gemma called, crawling away toward the deep end again.

You stared after her, but let your gaze raise to the windows. His window. You could see nothing inside from this far away, the light tint blocking everything. But you knew he was there. Was he still sitting at his desk, typing a memo? On the phone, arranging an international meeting? Or was he back at the window, watching you with his hands in his pockets, struggling not to touch himself? Or fuck, maybe he was touching himself. You sank under the water before Gemma could reach you again.

“Hot tub?” she asked, when you bobbed to the surface.

“Hot tub,” you agreed.

You lounged in the even warmer, bubbling water for another 15 minutes or so, sending the last of your finals week jitters packing. This semester was over. Your relationship was over. There was nothing more you could do about your performance for either scenario. So you closed your eyes and let it all go with a sigh.

“There you are.”

“What?” you opened your eyes as Gemma spoke.

“You’ve been on edge. I know you said you didn’t care about Charlie, but something’s been bothering you. You just look so much more relaxed now. You good? Still okay about the plans for tonight? I don’t mean to leave you all alone, but…”

“I’m gonna be so good, Gem. Don’t worry about me. Let’s go. I want to see if that pop-up shop is still around. They have the cutest jewelry.”

“Yes!”

You found the store you were looking for and bought a few new pairs of earrings. A long, thin drop chain pair and some geometric hoops, asking the clerk if you could wear the gold bar threaders out of the store. You also found a necklace for your mom and some jade bracelets for your aunt. Christmas shopping halfway done.

Gemma pulled you into a lingerie shop next.

“I wanna get something sexy for tonight.” She tried on a few outfits and picked out a few for you to try on too.

“This is silly. I don’t have anyone to wear this stuff for anymore.”

“Oh, just wear it for yourself. Don’t you just feel luxurious in silk?”

You agreed and bought the dark blue, high cut silk romper with black lace trim and white flower print. It was maybe the sexiest thing you ever owned. And you were single. Awesome.

You and Gemma walked arm in arm to your favorite lunch spot, grabbing a table on the heated patio. You giggled conspiratorially together about how her evening with Mike would go, making sure you cut her off before she got too graphic. You did not want the details. Those were private, no matter how much Gemma liked to brag.

You hit a few more shops after lunch, nabbing a new sweater for your dad, a book from your uncle’s favorite author, and some art supplies for your cousin. You just had stocking stuffers left, so you hit up the candy shop after dropping Gemma at Mike’s.

You pulled Gemma’s car into the garage and let yourself into the basement to drop your bags down in your room, figuring you would just stay hidden and out of Mr. Walker’s way for the evening. But your stomach rumbled and you realized lunch had been hours ago.

Before you could make it upstairs, you were distracted by the sounds of grunting and staccato smacks. You peered into the gym to find Mr. Walker throwing jabs and punches against a heavy bag. His back was to you and your mouth watered as you watched his shoulders and traps tense and ripple with each hit. From the amount of sweat dripping down his back and soaked into his tank and shorts, he’d clearly been at it for a while. He was shifting his feet back and forth in a little sparring dance and you were about to get caught out as he rotated around the bag. But you simply couldn’t move.

Mr. Walker had just pumped his arms preparing for the next hit as he rounded his target. He grabbed the bag to still it when he noticed you staring.

“Everything okay?” he asked, chest heaving.

You cleared your throat and suppressed the urge to turn and run.

“Everything’s, uh …just fine,” you smiled at him. “I was just on my way to grab a bite and heard the ruckus in here.”

“Sorry to sidetrack you.” He trained an intense stare on you, head tilting to the side. “But I was just about done anyway. If you don’t mind waiting, I can whip up something after I grab a shower?”

“That would be amazing, thank you Mr. Walker. Anything I can do to help get ready?”

He strode toward you now, grabbing a towel from the bench to wipe the sweat from his face. You watched rapt as a damp curl bounced back into place on his brow.

“If you want to open a bottle of wine, feel free, but no need to do any heavy lifting in the kitchen. I’ve got it covered,” he winked at you with a devilish grin. Suddenly his hand was at your neck, fingers gently caressing the chain hanging from your ear. “Are these new?”

You swallowed and nodded, unable to respond.

“They’re pretty.”

“Thank you,” you practically whispered, trying not to sink to the floor before him.

You excused yourself and made your way back upstairs, wanting to simply escape his commanding presence and seek out a snack to tide you over.

“Don’t spoil your dinner,” he called to you in the kitchen, his footsteps heavy on his way upstairs as well.

You sat with the banana you’d plucked from the fruit bowl and pondered the scene.

Would he strip down in the bedroom or the bathroom? Would he stand under the rushing water for a bit and let the warm water loosen his muscles, hand against the wall, head hanging down? Did he touch himself? He had to touch himself, but did he use a bar or gel? Loofah? Washcloth? Or was he just running his hands all over his body now? How did he dry off? Towel over his head to shuffle those curls? Or bend over and get the legs, drying up the body first? Maybe he started with a swipe across his chest? Did he wrap that towel around his waist or just bare-ass it into the closet for a pair of sweats and a t-shirt? Barefoot? Slippers?

“Are you going to eat that?”

You jumped and dropped the banana that you hadn’t even taken one bite of to the counter.

“Oh, Mr. Walker, you startled me,” you gasped.

“You did seem rather in deep thought there. Anything I can help with?”

Why you expected him to be in a ratty pair of sweats and a t-shirt you’d never know. Mr. Walker had donned an elegant pair of loose linen pants and simple cashmere turtleneck sweater that did nothing to hide the muscles he’d been training just half an hour ago. He looked delicious.

“Here,” he reached for the as yet unpeeled banana, “let’s just put this away and get you something more substantial, okay?”

You made some light small talk about your recent semester and watched as he breezed around the kitchen, pulling out packages from the fridge and heating pans on the stove. In a mere matter of minutes he had turned a burner on to boil water and chopped asparagus, tomatoes, broccoli, and yellow peppers. When the water bubbled just right he tossed in a bag of fresh cavatelli. He asked about the rest of your Christmas plans while he sauted the vegetables in a fragrant lemon sauce. After draining the pasta, he tossed it in the pan along with a bit of pasta water, stirring to thicken up the sauce before adding some lemon zest and grated parm. Boyfriends? He asked as he ladled heaping portions into two wide flat bowls and set one down in front of you at the island.

“Thank you, Mr. Walker,” you said as you picked up your fork. “No, not anymore.”

“Please,” he rested his fists on the counter across from you.”I want you to call me August.’

“Okay. August,” you replied, as a jolt of pleasure raced through you straight to your cunt.

“Good girl.”

You closed your eyes and sighed, hoping it was masked as the enjoyment of the bite you took. August Walker wanted you as much as you wanted him. There was absolutely no doubt. When you opened your eyes, his icy blue stare greeted you while his mouth pulled into a sly smirk.

He lounged against the counter across from you, dish in hand, lifting bites of pasta to his mouth and chewing while he listened to you try to explain why it simply wasn’t working out with the men at college. It seemed to you that his breath got deeper with each failed relationship.

“I don’t know,” you sighed, licking an errant drop of sauce off the corner of your mouth. “It just feels like they aren’t really into it.”

“Into what?”

“Well, me. I guess. Into what I want.”

“And what do you want?”

“Something more…” you took a deep breath to stifle the jitters. You were about to proposition your best friend’s dad. “Passionate.”

His eyes widened ever so slightly, brow raised in surprise as if he did not expect that to be your answer. He set his plate down, abandoning the last bite, and slipped his hands in the pockets of his pants. And watched you watch. Yeah. He knew. Saw it the minute you walked in the house two days ago.

You dropped your fork to your plate and slid your chair back, standing to move around the island.

“Can I help with the dishes?”

“Are dishes what you really want to be doing right now?” he quirked an eyebrow at you.

“Not really, no,” you stepped closer, heart pounding in your chest. “August.”

He pulled his hands from his pockets and placed them against your cheeks, fingers wrapping around the nape of your neck, but with no pressure at all.

“So, listen. I want you to be really sure about this,” his eyes darted back and forth as he searched yours for any hint of doubt, even as you nodded. When he found none, he bent to kiss you. It was gentle at first, a simple touch, then a swipe of the tongue to ease you open and slip in. The mustache tickled your nose and the scruff felt exactly how you imagined, how you wanted it. You let your mouth fall open and welcomed the gentle probing of his tongue.You whimpered when he pulled away.

He considered you then, for what felt like an eternity before he placed a thumb on your lips and tugged down to your chin then slid his digit into your mouth and pressed down on your tongue to gather whatever moisture was available. You closed your lips around his thumb and rolled your eyes back up to him, sucking slowly on his thumb and daring him to pull it out.

He huffed and sneered and pulled his thumb from your lips and tilted your mouth back up to meet his lips crashing down on yours again. When he released your mouth, he licked his lips and then turned you so he could guide you out of the kitchen, down the hall, and up the stairs to his bedroom. He sat you on the edge of the bed and you stared up into his ocean-deep eyes.

“My god you are an angel, aren’t you?”

You shivered and gasped, then released your breath slowly. He smirked again.

“You like that? When I call you an angel?”

“I really do,” you whispered.

“Good. Then whenever you’re with me, alone, you are my Angel. Is that okay with you?”

“It is.”

He smiled at you then and pulled his sweater over his head leaving him bare chested in front of you. You raised a hand as if to drift your fingers through the bed of fur covering his chest and tapering down to his stomach. But he stopped you. Grabbed your wrist with one hand and tilted your chin to him with the other, holding your gaze steady and peering deep into your soul to confirm his observation. It was written all over your face. You wanted him to tell you. You wanted him to give you permission. You wanted to hear him say yes. So you asked.

“Can I touch you August?”

“Yes, Angel. You can.” He released your hand and face and you proceeded to touch him. You slid your palm up his stomach to his chest, your fingers snaking through his hair. He heaved a sigh, then placed his hand on your wrist again and pulled you up to standing. You peered into his eyes, bit your lower lip and slid your palm back down, turning your hand so your fingertips hit his waistband first, sneaking under the fabric.

“You sure you’re ready for that right now?” he asked, placing his hand on your wrist for the third time this evening. “I think you might want to rethink that.” He put your hand over the bulge in his pants so you could feel not only how hard he was already but how large. He was silently asking you if you’d ever had a lover whose cock was as big as his and you paused for only a beat.

You knew exactly how you wanted to start. “I’m a thousand percent sure,” you grinned salaciously up at him.

His nod was practically imperceptible, so determined not to let you see how your eagerness was affecting him. How would it look if he were losing all control?

You licked your lips and brought both hands to the drawstring tie, loosening it slowly, then dragging the fabric carefully over his engorged cock. You sat back on the bed as you pushed his pants down his legs, never once letting your eyes leave his.

Not until you were ready to take him in hand did you drop your eyes to drink him in. It was the most glorious sight you could imagine. Long, thick, hard. Jumping slightly as you touched the underside with your fingertips, then settling the weight into the palm of your hands. He had not been wrong at all. No other man you’d been with could compare to his size. And you had absolutely no doubt he knew exactly how to wield it.

You were hypnotized. Even if you’d wanted to look back into his eyes to ask permission before you took him into your mouth, you simply could not tear your gaze away. Your hunger evolved into something more now, and you leaned forward, tucking your tongue under the head while your lips wrapped around him.

You knew there was no way you’d be able to take his full length inside your mouth, but you wanted to try. Wanted to show him you were willing. You gathered your spit and let it glide your mouth over his cock, past the bulbous head and as far down the veiny shaft as you could manage. With a hand firmly gripped around the base, you held him in place while you moved your mouth up and down, letting your tongue drag and circle. You could do this for hours. He might have let you. But the minute you let his tip hit the back of your throat, causing a small gag reflex and a few tears to well in your eyes, he pulled you off.

“Not yet. I’ll have you undone, but not yet.”

You blinked the tears of pleasure quickly away, confused. Charlie had always loved to come in your mouth, knowing an early release would allow him to last longer with you.

“Was it not alright?” you questioned, unsure now if all those boys had been lying when they said you were the best.

“Oh, Angel. It was divine. Do you see how fucking hard I am for you? And you’ll do that again for me. I’ll insist on it. But I want to drink you in myself, first.”

He asked you to undress. You were suddenly reminded of your spur of the moment purchase and would give anything to put yourself on display in it for him. He sensed your cautious excitement, but mistook it for hesitation.

“What is it, Angel? Are you having doubts?” he asked in a gentler tone than he’d been using since you arrived in the bedroom.

“No, August. Nothing like that. I just, well…”

He furrowed his brows at you and urged you to finish your confession.

“I mean, I want this, but I really wasn’t prepared for it to happen. And it’s embarrassing to say, but I have something I’d love to put on for you. Can I do that?”

His relief shifted to a wolfish grin, as he nodded and shifted out of your way. “Please don’t take too long.” He took himself in hand and began to slowly stroke. “I don’t want to take care of this myself.”

You nodded eagerly and rose to stand before him. It took every ounce of restraint not to sprint from the room in an effort to return to him as quickly as possible, but that didn’t feel dignified. You weren’t going to start acting like a schoolgirl in front of August Walker.

Your legs carried you purposefully through the house to your room where you undressed, put your hair up, and quickly showered. After drying off, you fished the romper out of the shopping bags on your bed, tore off the tag carefully, and stepped into the silky piece. Gemma was right, it felt so very luxurious.

A shock of cold rushed through you. How would you ever face Gemma after tonight? It wasn’t as if you’d been scheming for this to happen. But you weren’t saying no, either. You wanted this so badly. Another deep breath. You’d just have to deal with the consequences later. There was no way you were stopping now.

You searched through your luggage for your long, white crochet cardigan with the front tie. You decided to brush your teeth quickly and took a few extra minutes to dab some of your favorite perfume along your neck and wrists. A makeup touch up seemed useless at this point, but you did fix your hair.

You took a final look at yourself in the mirror and blew out the breath you found yourself holding. This was happening.

You climbed the stairs with purpose, noting the low seductive music drifting from the top floor. You smiled at the thought that August liked to use sound to get into the mood as well. You stopped at the door to his bedroom, just as he was coming out of his own en suite, clothed now in a pair of dark blue silk pajama pants that did little to hide his ongoing erection.

“Oh Angel. I thought you’d gotten lost again,” he teased. “Come. Let me look at you.”

He reached out his hands as he moved across the room toward you. He grasped one of your hands and raised it over your head, twirling you around once slowly then dropping your arm as you came back around to face him and tracing his hand down your throat and chest, toying with the bow at the front of your sweater.

“Is this what you wanted to show me?”

You nodded, wide-eyed, hoping he really loved it as much as he seemed to.

“Well, don’t you look good for me?. It’s a pity this won’t stay on long.” He pulled on the strings and slipped a hand inside the sweater, grazing your side as he wrapped his arm around your back and pulled you close for a withering kiss. He palmed a breast with the other hand, rubbing against the hard nub straining through the soft fabric. He pressed the small of your back and moved you inches closer to him, his stiff cock jutting against you.

As he released the kiss, he pushed the sweater off your shoulders and let it drop to the floor behind you, once again taking up your hand and pulling you with him as he moved back to the bed. This time, he sat, legs spread wide so you could step between them.

“This really is very pretty,” he toyed with the thin straps of the romper, sliding a finger under the lace and brushing his knuckle against the top of your breast. “Would you like to keep it on a little longer?”

“I would.”

“Very well then.”

He pulled the straps down your shoulders a few inches tempting you with a state of full undress, then replaced them and moved his hands to your hips, smoothing them around to cup your ass and squeeze. He kept one hand on your lower back, pulling the other back around to the front before pushing a hip just off-kilter. You were now on a slight diagonal to him and that allowed him to more easily slide his hand off your hip and down into the crease of your thigh before he slipped a finger under the silk to trace along your folds.

You watched his eyes darken as he discovered the moisture already accumulated, waiting for him. You bit your lip as he turned his gaze to your eyes.

“You are already so wet, Angel. You’re hungry for this aren’t you?”

“Yes, August. I want you.”

He kept his eyes glued to yours as he dipped two fingers inside your core and you gasped.

“And I want you to fuck yourself on my hand. Will you do that for me Angel?”

Your whole body was buzzing now. No one had ever prioritized your pleasure like this. If you’d had your mouth on a boyfriend’s cock, that’s where it was staying until he came in your mouth or pulled out and slipped inside your pussy. But giving you control of your own orgasm? Exhilarating.

His fingers were curled inside you, stroking and stretching you, smoothing along your walls and seeking out the most delicate spaces as you began to shift your hips against his hand. The heat spread through your body, you relaxed and sank your weight into his hand, your cunt swallowing his fingers deeper. You swept a hand under the curve of your tit, squeezing gently at the hardened nipple while you grabbed a hold of his wrist with your other hand. Using the leverage of his grip, you rocked back and forth into his palm, tossing your head back when he graced you with another curl of his fingers. He had found your spot and was going to exploit that fact, teasing you with a gentle press before spreading his fingers wide inside you.

“Please, August,” you begged.

“Please what Angel?” he smirked. “This is all you.”

You hauled your head back to stare down at him while you undulated your hips, searching for a way to position his fingers where you needed them again.

“Would you put another finger in? Please August?”

He smiled and obliged and you shivered with pleasure, finally beginning to feel the fullness and pressure you needed to reach your peak. If you could just…You snaked your hand around his wrist, moving so you could drag your thumb down beside his and urge it up to the top of your clit. You pressed his thumb into you, guiding his motion and pulling away only when you were sure he would continue on his own.

With his thumb brushing over your pearl, you rocked harder on his fingers, shifting his hand so he had no choice but to curl up into your spot and you held his hand firm in position when he did, praying to all the gods you knew that he would remain right there for just this moment longer.

He stood as soon as you came apart, catching you with an arm around your back as he slowly withdrew his fingers from your pulsing pussy.

“Absolutely gorgeous.” He kissed at the heat radiating from your cheeks, then sought your mouth and traced your lips with his tongue, opening you up to him and licking in deep. You moaned as you imagined him doing that again, lower.

“Yes, I know. You’ll get that too,” he declared, pulling away from the kiss. “What do you say, Angel? How do you feel about taking this off now that I’ve seen you so pretty in it?”

You smoothed your hands down your body, enjoying the sensual feel of the silk, still reeling from your orgasm. You nodded as he slipped the straps from your shoulders once more, this time pushing the elastic waistband over your hips and dropping the material to the floor.

August grabbed your ass then slid his hands to your thighs, urging you to wrap your legs around his waist as he turned to face the bed. His kiss was deep and hard as he climbed one knee and then the other onto the mattress, before easing you on your back. With your legs pinned around his waist, he ran his hands along your calves and up to the crease at the top of your thighs where he hooked his thumbs and pressed his fingertips into the flesh of your hips.

You were fully on display for him now. Nothing to stop his eyes from devouring every inch of your body, kindling the flames still licking at your skin. He eased his thumbs toward your apex, caressing your folds and massaging your slick along the edges. He let one thumb circle around your clit, pressing hard when you arched into it. He dipped the same thumb into your core, then withdrew and placed it in his mouth, licking you off his thumb like ice cream and you melted at the site of it.

You felt adored and basked in his worship, tossing your arms over your head and arching your back to press your chest out towards him. He slid his hands up your waist and over your belly to cup and knead your breasts. When he pinched, the pressure was just the other side of comfortable and you hissed with the pain. He eased up, rubbing gently for a moment before squeezing again, with the same intensity. The salacious leer on his side-cocked head sent a wave of pleasure along with the pain and you furrowed your brow and whimpered with content. Satisfied, he let you go and leaned down to kiss you again.

He unhooked your legs and directed you to the top of the bed. You eased back against the tall, plush gray velvet headboard, positioning yourself right in the middle of the California king bed.

“I’m going to eat that delicious pussy of yours now, Angel. And I don’t want you to touch me while I do. I want to try something I think you will enjoy. Will you let me?”

You furrowed your brow and nodded reluctantly, unsure what it would mean.

August climbed up to the head of the bed, knees straddling your waist as he reached behind the headboard. Your heart beat noticeably faster when you saw the thick strands of silk cord he pulled over the top. Holding them both in one hand by the plush lined leather cuffs at the ends of each, he peered down at you with a raised eyebrow.

“Have you ever been restrained, Angel?”

You swallowed the lump in your throat and shook your head slowly once, chin lowered with a shyness you hadn’t yet felt this evening. August grasped your jaw to tilt you towards him.

“Never be embarrassed, sweet thing. This isn’t for everyone. Believe me, I know.” He dropped one line and your chin at the same time, holding the second cuff in front of you and caressing the line. “You have options here. Let me explain. If you want, you could simply hold onto the rope. It’s soft and won’t burn or cut your hands when you squeeze tight. But the risk here is how easy it would be for you to drop it when you are unable to control yourself.”

You blinked with anticipation for the next option, then closed your eyes when he gave you a few more.

“You could always wrap the rope around your wrists or use the cuffs with a loose buckle as well, but still…” He unbuckled the cuff. “I think your best option, the one that will ensure you are able to enjoy every minute of my mouth on you, would be for you to let me tighten these around your wrists.”

He held the cuff wide for you and waited as you opened your eyes to give him an answer. With a wave of confidence surging through your body, you lifted your arm for him.

“Good girl.” He pulled the strap through the buckle and found the right fit with ease. Firm, not too tight, but certainly not loose at all. He tugged your arm down to demonstrate how little reach you had now and raised an eyebrow again with a last chance to beg off. You met his question with an unwavering gaze and he closed and opened his eyelids slowly with a smile before attaching a cuff to your other wrist.

You tested this one yourself with a tug and another thick swallow to calm your nerves and remind yourself you wanted this. So badly.

You could leave your arms winged back toward the headboard or bring your hands in front of your face, with elbows bent close by your side, but you’d never be able to touch him while he was tucked between your legs. As he began to retreat, you reached reflexively for him, even though you were unable to catch him as the rope went taut.

As if reading your mind, he bent then and allowed you to place your hands on either side of his face while he kissed first your brow, then your cheeks below each eye, the corners of your lips. He finally slotted his mouth against yours and you leaned into it and kissed back hard.

You let out a soft whine when he finally pulled away, but he pressed a finger to your lips to quiet you, then held it there as he eased down your inflamed body, rotating soft kisses and sharp nips.

No high school boyfriend had ever gone down on you. And Charlie wasn’t the first in college, but he’d been the best so far. August blew him out of the water.

When he arrived at his destination, he pulled his hand down your throat and over your chest, fingertips skimming your belly and lifting away right before he reached your mound.

He stared at first, eyes devouring the site before him. He tilted his head first one way then the other, as if trying to determine the perfect approach. He pushed your knees wide again when you began to tip them in, nervous about the scrutiny. When he finally eased closer, you closed your eyes in anticipation, but the warm wet sensation never came. You felt only his hands slipping under and around your bent legs, fingers digging into the tops of your thighs and holding you in place. You opened your eyes when you heard him inhale deeply and saw his own eyes flutter shut and open again. As he exhaled, the air drifted and teased, first warming and then cooling across your delicate skin.

He turned to nuzzle into the crook of your thigh, nipping and licking lightly on first one side and then the other. When his beard brushed your skin, you shuddered. It was an exquisite tickle, prickly and soft at once and everything you’d imagined. He pulled his arms from under you then, smoothing his hands along the insides of your thighs and pressing your knees wide and still he wouldn’t touch you where you ached for him.

“Please, August,” you pleaded, head straining toward him.

“Patience, little Angel.”

Only when you placed your head back against the headboard, did he dip low again, still nuzzling gently around the edges of your desire. You felt a brush of fingertips down your inner thigh and the back of a finger running up one side of your aching cunt and down the other. Then a finger along both sides, smoothing up then drifting down. At the bottom he captured your pussy lips between the knuckles of two fingers and squeezed, gently opening and closing and finally providing some of the friction you craved. But as soon as you tried to arch into it, he stopped and pulled his hand away.

“I know what you think you need, Angel. I’m here to tell you there’s more. We’ll get there. And I should have said something sooner. It would be better for you to hear this in a less vulnerable state, but if you want me to stop, at any time, I will. Do you understand?”

You nodded, not trusting yourself to articulate even the word yes properly, but he wanted to hear it.

“Say it.”

“I understand August,” you spoke softly, then cleared your throat and responded with more conviction. “If I want you to stop, I’ll tell you.”

He placed a hand on your belly now, heel of his palm pressing just above your clit and rocking back yet still avoiding the tender spot. Then he lifted his palm and swept his finger toward your thigh again, massaging the flesh gently between his fingers and thumb. He did the same on the other side and finally, finally, because you were being so good and laying still for him, he eased a knuckle into your slit and held it there.

And then he craned his neck closer, pulled his finger up through your folds, and let his tongue drag in the spot where his finger was. He pressed his thumb onto your clit and rubbed small circles while his tongue lapped at the slick already forming. When he pulled his mouth away, he slid his thumb down inside you, deep and then shallow as he returned to pressing at your clit.

All you wanted was to lift your hips up to meet his pressure, but you sighed out a low moan instead, trying to be good for him. As if to reward your self-control, he let the tip of his tongue meet his thumb at your sensitive nub and then pulled his hand away so he could close his mouth and suck. When he pulled his lips away, he tugged the kernel with him for a moment before letting it go, then rubbing it with his thumb again.

When his mouth met your pussy once more, it was to press his tongue wide and flat into your folds before curling the tip up and in. He repeated this a few more times, tipping deeper and deeper each time while his thumb still strummed along your button before he finally plunged the length of his tongue right into your core and just like that wrapped his lips around your clit to pull out and away.

You closed your eyes, so he couldn’t see them begging him to put his mouth back where you wanted it, but the anticipation was stoking a fire and you didn’t want to put it out just yet. You felt his fingers push up along the soaking path, tipping into the bud and then dragging back down, middle finger dipping in on the return now. He ran this finger up and down, in and out, circling, sliding, coaxing, and just when you thought you couldn’t take it anymore and you were about to break, he pressed his other hand low on your belly and held your hips in place, like he just knew you were about to shift and search for more friction.

When he could sense you would be good for him, he moved the hand from your belly to cup under your thigh before adding a second finger and rubbing them both furiously from side to side briefly, before splitting his fingers and spreading your labia wide. He dove in to kiss your lower lips, tracing the wide opening before licking in deep and you gasped your eyes open at the memory of his earlier kiss and promise.

As if on cue, any tension you’d been holding in your body at the thought of being tied up, forced to remain still, and eaten out while you couldn’t fully participate just vanished. You sank infinitesimally further into the bed, your arms dropped by fractions of millimeters, and your legs fell open even wider.

August knew it. And he rewarded you for it. His mouth was on you in earnest now, kissing, sucking, nibbling, licking, lapping, prodding. His fingers were inside you and on you and around you. Two fingers twisted inside, pressing down and spreading you open. One tongue laved at your core, coaxing the heat and juice from you. When it came, you thought he would stop because this is when they stop and climb up your belly and slide their cocks inside you and grind into the wet wet heat, but he didn’t stop.

No he kept going. He kissed your quivering pussy and tongued along the folds, gathering up as much of your essence as he could. He spun those two fingers up now, caressing your walls and seeking out that most favorable spot. The one he already had you coming on earlier. The one he made you make yourself come on. God, what did it matter who was doing what?

The fact of the matter was, August Walker was giving you your third orgasm of the night with nothing more than his mouth and hands and he still hadn’t let you touch him for very long with either your fingers or your mouth. And he certainly hadn’t placed in cock deep inside your aching cunt.

But what he was doing was continuing to worship at your altar. Well past the point that you could think straight. Was this now four or five? It was all a blur and all you knew was that if August didn’t stop, you might explode. Suddenly it was a problem that you couldn’t move your arms much past your shoulders.

August was past caring about you thrashing your hips with one aftershock after another. Didn’t mind about having to hook his arms under your thighs and tug you back down the bed each time you tried to grasp the wrist cords and pull yourself off his face. He only wanted you to stop straining so he could show you how much better it could be. He wanted you to relax just like you had right before he’d really started in on you in earnest.

You felt his hand snake up your belly between your legs, creep over the swell of your breast, and rest against your collarbone. At first you resisted the weight, but then you welcomed it. Wondered if it might not be better if he just climbed his whole body right up on top of yours and crushed you into the mattress.

But he wasn’t going to do that, because instead he was going to ensure you came one more time while he scissored his fingers inside you and licked you into oblivion. When you screamed his name, he grinned a kiss against your thigh, crawled out from between your knees, and gently, ever so carefully, eased your legs together and unbent them.

He traced his hand back up your heaving belly and chest, wrapped his fingers around your throat and tilted your neck towards him.

“So, so beautiful when you come, Angel. I wanted it to last forever for you.”

You tasted yourself on his lips and tongue and whimpered into his mouth because you suddenly realized you wanted that too and it was too late.

“Is it too late?” you whispered and he chuckled at you.

“You should pace yourself.” He knelt beside you and unbuckled your wrists, kissing each one as he freed you from the cuffs, then dropping to his back beside you. “Thank you, for opening yourself to me.”

“How in the world are you thanking me after that?” you laughed, still shaking from the explosions, but moving toward your next goal. “And also... Can I get back to this now?”

You began to scoot down between his legs, dragging his silky pants with you and tossing them to the floor.

“If you’re sure you're ready.”

You trailed your fingers up his thighs as you moved back into position on your belly. He was still hard as rock when you reached for him. You licked your lips at the sight, then sent your eyes straight to his while your mouth wrapped around the tip of his cock with a smile. You worked him slow and methodically, tonguing along his length, tasting his warmth. You were salivating for this man, dribbling spit to help ease your tour of his member, and yet you knew you’d never reach the base. You let your hand twist around him, squeezing and grabbing while you worked your mouth down to meet it.

“Your mouth feels so good on me, Angel. You like doing that, don’t you?”

You peered at him through your lashes and nodded, attempting another wide smile to agree. His hands smoothed up your arms, over your shoulders, and into your hair. You didn’t need him to hold your head against his cock, but he grunted and shifted his hips to press deeper into your mouth. You would have done this for him all night. Let him lay back and enjoy being worshiped the way he had worshiped you.

But with one hand on your nape and one right on top of your head, August helped himself to the pleasure you were offering without hesitation and began fucking your mouth in earnest. With each thrust, you felt him edge deeper until he finally found the back of your throat.

“There you go,” he grunted. “That’s a good girl. Taking me so deep.”

You could do nothing more than open wide and let him drive, feeling the saliva drip from your mouth with no opportunity to swallow. He set a steady, punishing pace and while you were enjoying it, you also couldn’t help but imagine this must be what your aching pussy would feel like shortly. Your tears were flowing freely now, too, spurred on by the constant stimulation.

Suddenly, he pulled you off and you were confused for one brief, maddening moment until you heard him command you.

“Hands and knees.”

You pressed yourself up as he shifted to his knees as well before returning his hands to your head and dragging your mouth down his cock once again. You felt his grip on your hair at your neck tighten, his pace even faster than before. In just moments, with your watering eyes rolled up as far as they could go to watch him sneer down at you, you felt his release coat the back of your throat, hot and salty, as he came with a growl.

He hauled you up, shifting his knees forward to meet you, pressing his chest against you, arms wrapped around your back as he kissed the tears from your cheeks and praised you. He settled back against the headboard, taking you with him and scooping your legs over his, nestling your head against his chest and holding you close. You could feel his heart pounding, the intensity matched only by the speed at which yours beat. His fingers traced along your spine, caressing your shoulder and at the same time he held your hip on his lap and tortured you with tender touches along the flesh of your thighs and legs.

You trailed your fingers over his chest and angled your head to nip at his neck.

“Was that okay?” he asked, uncharacteristically soft. You bit the urge to respond with sarcasm.

“I loved every second of it.” You punctuated your response with a kiss, cupping his cheek and tonguing his mouth open to lick into the softness.

He groaned and kissed you back for what felt like forever until you began to feel a nudge at your thigh. You reached down between your heated bodies to find him, wrapping your hands around his girth and stroking him to full erection. Without breaking the kiss you began to shift, sliding a leg to either side of his hips. Just as you had raised up, ready to slide him deep inside you, he gripped your shoulders tight and pulled away.

“Wait.”

“Why?”

Without answering, he easily lifted and deposited you on your back beside him, before rolling to the nightstand beside the bed. He pulled out a foil packet and bottle of lube.

“Because I care about you.” He tore the packet and pulled out the condom then squeezed a few drops of lube in before rolling it over his engorged length. He added a few more drops and pumped a few times, before dropping to his back again beside you.

“Now, where were we?” he grinned.

He slipped his arm underneath you and pulled you to him, guiding your leg over his hip again. On your knees, you took him in hand but before you could position his tip at your entrance, he pressed two fingers deep in your slit, massaging and stroking, scissoring you wide. You felt the heat building again and dropped your head back with a moan, still dragging your hand up and down his length. Your pussy was squelching with the juice he was coaxing and you felt his hand slip out then wrap around yours as you both directed him inside you.

With just the tip, you already felt fuller than you ever had and you sat with that feeling for a moment, hands still wrapped around the rest of his cock and keeping you from sliding all the way down.

Once you felt yourself relax around him, you nudged his hand away with your own and began to sink, slowly, deliberately, savoring the sensation. His hands gripped your hips all the while as he gazed in wonder and concern.

“Are you alright?”

“I’m fucking fantastic,” you replied, rocking back slightly to view the point of his disappearance inside you.

“Do you remember what I told you before?’ he asked, a little more heat and darkness creeping into his voice.

“I can stop you at any time.”

“Yes. And if you can’t get the words out, pinch me.”

You were going to nod your understanding, but remembered he liked to hear it as much as you did. “Yes, August.”

“Good girl.”

August began a slow roll of his ups, nudging up into you and shifting you off balance for a moment. You caught yourself with your hands on his chest, then sat back up to start a slow grind of your own. For several long minutes it was just you riding him slowly, like an easy afternoon stroll, completely in sync with his movements.

When he began to pump faster, you braced your hands on his legs behind you trying to hold on for dear life. He gripped you by the hips and held you in place while bucked and then he ran his hands up your sides and hauled you down to his chest. He wrapped his arms around your back and held you so close, kissed you so hard, rocked even deeper into you than you ever thought possible and just when you thought it was about to hit you like a ton of bricks, he flipped you to your back.

He started a slower pace now, still holding you close, still ravishing your mouth. But when you wrapped a leg around his back, he lifted himself onto his arms and looked down between you then over to the leg at his side. With a devilish grin, he reached back and under that leg, shifting it up over his shoulder. He picked up the pace, returning to the steady jackhammering you’d experienced while on top. And while you didn’t think deeper was possible, here he was, moving your limbs around to find more space. He pulled your other leg up now, no longer leaning forward, but up on his knees, holding you open before him while he pounded away.

This was more than you’d ever felt before. This was precision fucking at it finest and you were barely holding on.

“You can let go, Angel. You can come around my cock, squeeze me hard. I won’t break,” he commended you, letting go of one leg and reaching down to massage your clit again with his thumb. That was all it took.

“Oh shit. Fuck. Fuck, August, Fuck!”

“That’s it, Angel. I can feel you right now,” he growled. “Feel all the heat bursting inside you, feel your walls squeezing around me. Can you feel it?”

“Yes, yes, fuck yes. My god. Fuuuuuuuuuck! Fuck! Please,” you pleaded, panting and feeling like you were about to pass out. “Please.”

“Please what, Angel?”

“Please…” you didn’t exactly want him to stop but you weren’t sure how much more you could take either.

“Do you need me to stop?”

“I want you to come. Please August.”

He clenched his jaw and gave a few more hard thrusts before pulling out and flipping you one more time to your hands and knees. You could barely hold yourself up, sinking to your forearms, head into the mattress. But your ass was still in the air and your pussy was still on display for him and he took you one more time. He lined himself up again behind you, sheathed himself in one long simple stroke, holding still for one moment.

“You're still coming, I can feel it. God, you are amazing. You’re taking me so good.”

Incoherent babble is all he got in return. Even if you’d wanted him to stop, you could no longer form full words, let alone sentences. And how would you ever find the strength to reach back to even graze his skin, let alone pinch it? Whatever. You were riding a wave of the longest high you’d ever been on while August resumed his magnificent assault on you.

After a few more strokes, you felt him swell even larger than he already was, filling you up more fully than he already had. With one final animal roar, he released himself with a hand pressing against your lower back, slowing stilling as he filled the condom inside you. You shuddered with an aftershock and wanted to drop to your belly with him on top and never pull that blanket off.

After just a short moment, you felt his hand at your entrance, fingers drifting lightly through your folds before he gathered himself and the condom in hand and pulled all the way out for good. He pushed against you lightly to urge you flat. You vaguely registered words of praise coming from his mouth, but you were so spun off into oblivion you couldn’t be sure what they were.

From some far off place, you heard water running, then felt a dip beside you, and the wet warmth of a tender caress between your shaking legs. Somehow, you were maneuvered to your back to receive another gentle swipe, before you felt his lips press against your mouth, his tongue seeking your own.

It took everything you had to peel your eyes open and meet his gaze.

“Is that what you meant by passion?” he asked.

“It’s a start.”

August chuckled and gently eased himself to the side of the bed, swinging his legs off and standing. He tilted his head from side to side, loosening a few kinks before he strode with purpose into the bathroom. When he returned, he held out a blue silk robe and helped you into it once you stood from the bed. He tied the belt around your waist, then reached to the floor for his matching pants. As he stood, he gathered you in his arms for another kiss before he took your hand and led you back downstairs.

Trailing behind him, you were pleasantly surprised to find yourself deposited on the deep plush conversation sofa. August flipped on the switch to the gas fireplace and leaned over to drop one more kiss on your lips, then told you to sit tight.

The warm glow of the fire mesmerized and hypnotized you, not that it was hard. You had been overstimulated and now the exhaustion was settling in. You felt high, completely spaced out. You had never felt so thoroughly and completely fucked in your entire short life.

August returned a few moments later. Or was it hours? You had no idea. All you knew was that he placed a live edge wooden serving tray holding a few bottles of water, some fruit and cheese, a few small bowls of olives, almonds, and fig jam, some cut baguette, two champagne flutes, and a bottle of bubbly on the low ottoman in front of you, then eased himself onto the couch next to you.

“Let’s get you hydrated,” he leaned forward and grabbed a bottle from the tray.

“How did you know I’d want that?” you teased, harkening back to your first night home.

“You are a cheeky one, aren’t you?” August opened the bottle and pulled you close, tipping the cool, sweet water into your open mouth, eyes watching you closely to see when you’d had enough.

“Only for you,” you purred, reaching for the bottle so you could take another drink for yourself. When you pulled the bottle away from your lips, August bent to steal another kiss from you.

“A little dangerous, too.” He shifted a knuckle along your jaw, catching the soft indent in your chin to bring your face back to his. He kissed you for what felt like a millenia and you could have stayed that way all night. And then it hit you.

“Dangerous how?” you asked, when you pulled away reluctantly.

August closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, still leaning forward from the broken kiss. He sat up straighter when he exhaled and opened his eyes.

“My sweet Angel. I really didn’t mean to spoil our moment, but in a million years could you ever imagine this night could happen again?”

He held your gaze, and wouldn't let you turn away. You could see the anguish in his eyes. This wasn’t a lie.

“But why would…?”

“You deserve to know the passion you crave. I wanted to help you learn about your desire. You are a strong, intelligent, thoughtful, and gorgeous woman. I wanted you to see you are capable of getting everything you want. You only need to be sure of it. And perhaps understand you can ask for more.”

“But I want you.”

August didn’t reply immediately and in the silence you knew he was thinking of exactly the same person you now were. If you were ever going to keep this night a secret from her, you’d have to make it a solitary event with no hope of a repeat. How were you ever going to deny your craving?

“Come here.” August set your bottle of water aside and drew you into his arms, leaning back against the sofa as you relaxed onto his chest. He kissed the top of your head and ran a hand slowly up and down your back.

“This isn’t fair,” you murmured.

“Life rarely is, Angel. Come on, let’s just enjoy the time we do have. What d’you say, hmm?”

You nodded and sniffed away the beginnings of your tears. August gently sat you up, then prepared small bites of food from the tray and brought them to your lips. You soaked in all the attention, certain you’d never feel so safe and loved again in your life.

With some energy back, you felt your mood lighten. August was right. You should make the most of what time you have left. You reached for the champagne bottle, peeled off the foil wrap, and untwisted the thin metal cage surrounding the cork. August chuckled as he watched you struggle with the cork, so you stuck out your tongue and handed the bottle to him.

“Please?” He popped the cork with ease and poured the golden liquid for you both.

“A toast?” He raised his glass to yours and watched closely as you mulled it over.

“To one night only.”

“One night only.” He smiled with a nod and watched as you took a sip, then stole a kiss before taking a drink from his own glass. He grabbed a strawberry from the tray and held it to your lips as you took a bite. “Now another drink.”

You almost squealed as the flavors exploded in your mouth.

“When you try this on your own, be sure to get an extra-dry champagne,” August cautioned. “Moet brut won’t work with this flavor combination.”

“I’ll have to keep that in mind when I replenish my champagne cooler at school,” you teased. “What about this one?” You took another bite of strawberry and a sip of champagne, then leaned in for a kiss letting the flavors swirl in your mouth alongside his tongue. August continued the kiss, even as he set his glass aside and grabbed for yours to set it down as well.

He eased you to your back on the couch and slipped the tie loose from your robe before he finally broke the kiss.

“That’s also a good one. You’re quite the quick study.” He pushed the fabric aside, baring your chest and stomach, then appraised you for a moment before running his fingers over your breasts and down your belly, letting his mouth follow the trail.

You let out a soft moan and spread your legs involuntarily as he shifted to the floor and tugged your hips around so your ass was hanging off the sofa to give him better access. He let your legs rest over his shoulders and you sighed as he once again slipped his tongue and fingers through your folds, ravishing your core to bring another orgasm crashing over you.

You barely had a moment to recover before you felt the belt of your robe sliding out from underneath you and in a swift heartbeat, August had you flipped over, urging you onto your knees on the cushions with your arms leaning on the back of the couch. You peered back at him, while he shifted the fabric of the robe over your back, letting it drape off to the side and leaving your bare ass and legs completely exposed to him. He watched you carefully as he rubbed a large hand over one cheek, then drew back and spanked you hard. He was already caressing the red mark before the shocked gasp left your lips. He quirked an eyebrow at you in a silent question. Again?

You pondered the feeling and decided that yes, August Walker could spank your ass. You turned your head to peer over the back of the couch and jutted your hips back towards him wordlessly asking for more, which he gladly gave. The sharp smacks were sometimes single, sometimes doubled up, but always tempered with a gentle caress before he dealt another blow.

You were dripping for him. When he dragged two fingers through your soft petals to gather the nectar, you glanced back to see him wrap his lips around his fingers and lick your taste off them. Then he reached his hand in the pockets of his pants and withdrew another foil square before dropping his pants altogether.

“You planned this,” you cried in feigned scandal.

“I hoped for it. Not the same thing,” he gently replied, rolling the condom over his swollen length. “But it’s always good to be prepared. Speaking of which…”

August reached forward to grasp the silk belt he’d tossed aside, then drew one of your arms back behind you.

“May I have your other arm, Angel?”

You offered it without hesitation, shifting off the back of the couch so that all your weight was now on your knees. You felt him loop the belt around both wrists separately before he wrapped the tie a few more times around both. Holding the binds of your wrists in one hand, he used the other to guide his sheathed cock to your soaked pussy, gliding easily into your core. Once his hips met yours, he started a commanding pace, pumping in and out of you all the while holding you in place with your hands.

As if he could feel you losing control, unable to stay up straight any longer, August let the belt slips a few inches through his fingers before gripping tight again, giving you enough room to bend forward and rest your chest on the back of the couch while he continued to pump in and out of you with a devastating pace, the juice from you squelching around his cock.

“You fucking take me so good, Angel. Such a pretty pussy. Can you hear her talking to me? She says the sweetest things.”

He set a hand on your low back and pressed his against your stretched entrance, letting it drag along his cock as he moved back and forth and gathering some of your slick on the pad. You felt him ease his hand up, fingers pressing into the flesh of your asscheeks before he teased around your puckered rim with his thumb. When the moan escaped your mouth he knew he was on the right path and wasted no more time. He slipped his thumb right into your hole and held on while you bucked back against him.

“Fuck yeah, you like that, don’t you? Fucking my cock so good. Feels good, doesn’t it?”

“Yes. August, fuck yes.” You could barely form more words so moans of pleasure and squeals of delight were all he heard but they were enough to spur him on and lead him down the path of his own release just as soon as he felt yours.

With one practiced tug, he released you from the bind and eased himself out of your still pulsing pussy, then guided you to stand before him, pressing kisses along your shoulders and neck while he pulled the spent condom off his softening dick. He grabbed a napkin from the tray and wrapped it in a wad before spinning you to face him and kissing you hard.

“Let’s get cleaned up.”

He led you upstairs one last time, abandoning the snack platter and half-full champagne bottle. He took you through to his bathroom, turned on the warm spray jets of the tiled shower, then disrobed you completely. You stepped into the glass cabinet and turned to grab his arm to bring him with you.

Without prompting, he grabbed a bar of the same bright citrus scented soap you always found in your guest room and lathered you up. If you weren’t about to fall asleep on your feet, you’d succumb so easily to the way his fingers danced across your skin, caressing every nook and cranny like they knew the way by heart. He spun you into the water to rinse and set to cleaning himself.

And now you had your answer. It was body wash, with a woodsy, pine scent. He rubbed it all over his body with his bare hands. He watched you watching, mesmerized at the way his muscles moved and the carefree way he gathered his own package and lathered it with suds before shifting you gently out of the way and rinsing off under the cascading water.

Yes, he leaned an arm against the wall, but that could be just because you were with him and he wanted to encase you while he kissed you, tongue probing gently and mouths moving in unison. He groaned as he pulled away.

“We’d better get some sleep.”

The fluffy towel he dried you with was heavenly against your skin. He toweled himself as well before leading you back to his bed.

“Are you comfortable sleeping here with me tonight?” he asked. “If you’d rather wake up in your own bed, I’d understand.”

It was uncharacteristically sweet, the way August was now wondering how you would feel in the morning, knowing you could never have him again.

“I’d like to stay with you for tonight, if that’s okay.”

“More than okay.” He pulled the covers back and slipped in, holding them up for you to join him. Wrapped in his arms, head against his chest, you found yourself drifting off faster than you would have liked. You loved pillow talk, but supposed you’d managed that with him before, during, and a little after downstairs by the fire. Besides, pillow talk was for lovers. Which you were now assured you were not.

You woke later than you’d planned, your body still clearly recovering from the unexpected vigorous activity. August was not with you and though you knew the morning would not be a time to whisper sweet nothings, still you’d hoped to wake in his arms, just as you’d fallen asleep. The robe he’d lent you last night was draped across the foot of the bed and your lingerie was folded neatly on a chair nearby.

You shrugged into the robe and grabbed your things, then headed downstairs where you could smell coffee already brewed but found no sign of August in the kitchen. You continued down to your room where you realized you’d left your phone all night. Shit.

When you picked it up, there were about ten messages from Gemma and you braced yourself as you opened the app to read them. Yes, in the end she wondered where the fuck you were and why you weren’t answering her but there was no urgent call to get her immediately. The night with Mike seemed like it had gone exactly as planned.

She only wanted to let you know Mike’s friends were throwing a New Year’s party and of course you were invited. Mike even had a university friend coming in from out of town for the party and Gemma wanted to set you up with him. The guy in the picture she sent looked cute enough. Apparently he sailed and had dark, wavy hair, a little shorter than Mike’s. His smile was amazing, but to your eyes, he was a boy. He would never compare, you were sure.

Just as you were contemplating how to let him down gently, your phone rang and Gemma’s number appeared. You took a deep breath and hoped nothing in your voice would betray you.

“Hey!” you answered brightly.

“Whoa, too much. Too loud. Calm down.” Gemma was hungover, for sure.

“Sorry,” you quieted. “Everything okay?”

“I think I drank a liquor store last night. Mike’s still passed out, but I need my bed. Can you come get me?”

“Now? Yeah. Of course. Let me just get my shoes on. See you in thirty?”

Gemma agreed, though she wished you’d ignore some of the speed signs along the way and you laughed, promising to grab a Vitamin Water from the fridge before you left.

You noticed another message come through just as you hung up with Gemma. August was in his office. He didn’t want you to think you’d been abandoned, but he had to get an early start for meetings and wanted to let you sleep in. You texted him you were off to get Gemma. Chat bubbles appeared and disappeared a few times before a solitary frowny face finally appeared.

With no idea how to respond and not a lot of time to spare hashing it out, you dressed quickly, grateful you’d already washed off last night’s extravagance. You grabbed the keys to Gemma’s car, grabbed a water from the gym, and headed back out to the garage.

Gemma was still too dazed to inquire much about why you were absent from your phone last night and you didn’t offer any conversation about it. The whole drive was pretty quiet except for the radio. August was gone when you got back and while Gemma couldn’t care less, you were a little let down. You’d hoped you’d be able to at least sit with him a bit while Gemma slept off the rest of her hangover, but that wasn’t to be.

He kept himself pretty scarce the rest of the week, too, texting Gemma he wouldn’t be home for dinner any of the nights until you were scheduled to head back home for Christmas Eve. Four long-suffering nights and days filled with late breakfasts by the pool and dinner and drinks in town with Mike and other friends. You barely got to say goodbye to August as he breezed off to one final meeting the morning of the 24th before Gemma came upstairs to grab coffee.

Christmas was low key with just the six of you at your parents. No other relatives were traveling in and no one else nearby had invited you over for anything special. Gemma always celebrated alone with her dad, too. Your aunt wanted to take you and your mom to the sales the day after Christmas and that was an all day, exhausting affair. You were in bed by 9.

Over the next five days, you visited with Gemma and Mike, old high school friends, and your parents a few times. But never August. Gemma said as wonderful as Christmas was with him, he was stressing about the deal and spending all his time at the office since the day after. He needed to get the deal signed by the 31st at the absolute latest. And his company’s New Year’s Eve gala was set for the Grand Hotel downtown. He’d offered you both tickets, but Gemma really wanted to hang out with Mike.

Will was nice enough, if a little on the arrogant side. He was a good kisser and you could kinda imagine what he might be able to do with that mouth placed somewhere else, but then you really thought about it and decided the missing facial hair would change the feel. Nevermind. He was at least gracious about the letdown.

The drive back to school was a little somber. You were still trying to figure out if there was any possibility of a roommate swap. Gemma offered to just put you up at her place for the semester, but you didn’t want to sleep on a couch fantasizing about her father while she was in the other room. Maybe Brigette would just spend all her time at Charlie’s, like you should have.

A few days after the start of classes, a small package arrived for you in your mailbox. You’d grabbed it on the way to your Criminal Procedures lecture and stuck it in your backpack to open later. When you got back to your room after taking advantage of office hours to clear the theme for your research paper, you sat cross legged on your bed and opened the small, cardboard box. Inside, nestled in tiny, delicate packing peanuts, was an even smaller, embossed white paper sleeve surrounding a small, red velvety square box.

Inside was a thin, delicate gold chain, with a charm of black onyx arranged in the gold outline of an art deco wing. An angel's wing.

You searched the box for a card and finally found one buried under the packing material once you realized you’d opened the box upside down. There was a simple message to you.

'Angel. This belongs on the part of you I never got the chance to chain. Remember all you are worth and take it as you can. Yours for one night. - A’

Taglist (if you are crossed out I can’t tag you)

Anything: @kittenofdoomage @sillyrabbit81 @kebabgirl67 @feelmyroarrrr @beck07990 @mysweetlittledesire @mollymal @summersong69 (Old times sake? @littlegreenplasticsoldier @sebbytrash @anotherwinchesterfangirl )

Holiday Angel: @angelcavill66 @lizzystuffsthings @plaidcat4815 @augustsprincess @alexakeyloveloki @gofirityouguys

#august walker #august walker x reader #august walker fanfic #august walker fanfiction #august walker au #ceo!august walker #ceo!august #best friend's dad #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill fanfiction #holiday angel #mine

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arielstruggles · 2 months

Text

Texas Sun

w.c: 2.3k

Pairing: Bestfriend's dad!Joel Miller X reader

warnings: smut (mdni), age gap, moral questioning, edging, just the tip, mentions of virginity, tit fucking, oral (f receiving)

a.n: Honestly i just wrote this to kind of zone myself our from real life because i am having some sort of problems in my head and haven't proof read it. I just finished writing to be fair. As always i am open to criticism because i know i need lots of improvements in my (non-existent) writing skills. If you read this so far ilysm.

Joel Miller was an attractive man, he was strong, he was confident yet leery. The way he carries himself not only caught your attention but also other women around the neighborhood. You know from Sarah that he does not date that often, but he had this one girlfriend named Tess, she was around his age, they were happy Sarah said back when you were a freshman So he probably does not have those fantasies that you have in mind with him. When the Texas sun burnt your bare shoulders and you were on your way to the Miller’s house your sundress feels like a heavy blanket on your skin these were your thoughts. So, being best friends with Sarah Miller had it perks, one being the possibility of seeing her charming dad. You met Sara in your last year at high school when you moved in Texas with your family. Now that you think about it you realize it has been six years. You were a high schooler back in the day, now you are fresh out of college, unemployed under her parents’ roof. In that hot Texas day, you hoped to find Sarah at home chances were low since she was still a student and she had this internship going on. Yet, you needed to leave the house immediately, you were in the middle of an argument with your mom during the dinner, she was screaming at you about how much of a disgrace you are, tears on your cheeks gets back to you in reality. After wiping your tears, you quicken your pace and head to Miller’s house.

With the sight of their front door, you are questioning your motives. What if she is not home? what if they don’t want me to come inside you think then you decide to knock the door since you are already there. What is the worst thing that can happen right? When Joel Miller opens the door, he greets you kindly “Hey there, lookin’ for Sarah?” you nod sheepishly, already entranced by his presence. You know him for a long time but you are never comfortable around him, mostly because you are scared of developing some sort of sick crush on him. With his black tshirt and grey sweatpants, he does look good. “She’s not home, working on that internship and said she’s gonna be late.” He explains it thoroughly. This is your cue to say good evening and leave but you are limp. You don’t want to go back home. Not yet at least. the thought of going back crushes your soul, it suffocates you. Before you even try to stop tears start flowing again. “Hey hey, sweetheart. Easy now.” he pulls you in his arms. You start sobbing, his warm skin against your face, his woody scent fills your nostrils. He pulls you inside and closes the door, you find yourself sitting on Miller’s couch. “M not gonna force you to speak but you can talk yknow.” He says, it is clear he is as clueless ad you are. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do any of this, really.” Your tone is apologetic. “Don’t be. We all need to get it out of our system.” He smiles warmly. He is genuine, he is kind it only adds to his other good qualities. You start talking about your problems and you cry once again, it is embarrassing how easily you cry in front of a man you think. When your gaze interlock for a brief moment your eyes wander on his lips briefly and you avert your gaze when he catches you. heat blossoms on your cheek as he smirks. He leans on your face ever so slightly, to test the waters. You don’t pull back but you don’t lean on either. It feels wrong on so many levels. He leans on closer and closer until you are inches apart. You can feels his warm breath tickling you. “Go ahead sweetheart.” He purrs. “Mr. Miller-“ you want to say something, you want to reject, he doesn’t force you, not at all. “Yes, darlin” you should say this is wrong, that he is old enough to be your dad but you feel like anticipation building up inside you. Desire consumes your body. You lean and kiss him. He meets your kiss with hunger. He kisses you so roughly that it does not feel like any of the kissed you have had experienced before. It is wet, it is sloppy. He grabs you by the waist and pulls you onto his lap. You broke the kiss panting “This is so wrong.” “Why is that?” “Sarah is my friend-“ “We can stop right now and forget it all happened.” He says, his voice is intoxicating. “Mr. Miller?” you can’t believe you are about to say this “I- uh um, I am uh… I have never done it before?” a smirk forms on his lips. He knows damn well what you are talking about. “You have never done what darling?” “that.” you mumble “I don’t understand.” He says while that smug subtle grin forms on his lips. “You mean sex?” you are not shy about it but his tone makes you want to hide your face behind your palms. Once again you are getting hotter. “Yes.” “It’s okay darling, we have all the time in the world.” what does it mean? Is this something that we are going to keep doing? But it does not feel right? you have so many questions in your head, it’s reflections can be read on your face. “What’s wrong?” he looks at you with furrowed brows. “Nothing, I just-“ you trail off mid-sentence. “S okay baby girl, we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” However, you want no no, you are dying for it. You want to feel your bare skins touching each other, hands intertwined, tangled up in bed sheets, sweaty, breathing heavily.

You want all of it, the problem is, how you are supposed to look at Sarah’s face after that? Your thoughts interrupted by his hand that’s caressing your bare arms. His touch is so light but it is enough to awaken goosebumps on your skin. You meet your gaze with his, you are able to see the lust twinkling in his eyes. You have never seen him like this before. You question your morals. Are you seducing an older man? While a part of you feels like once you leave this house, a scarlet A letter will be sealed on your forehead and everyone will see how much of a disgrace you are yet a part of you is dying to commit this crime, to leave the path that your parents carved for you.

With a sudden hunger you climb on his lap and kiss him which he responds with a snort but complies your request. You continue kissing for the second time. It is passionate, it is sloppy. You can’t help but grind on his half-erected cock. It causes you both to moan. “Mr. Miller, I- I want to-“he interrupts you “Are you sure?” “Yes.” “As much as I want to go for it, I can’t baby girl. I don’t want to do anything you might regret.” But I want to.” You whine like a brat and palm his cock through his sweatpants. He growls in your ear, you could swear that it his by far the sexiest sound you have ever heard. “Just the tip.” He says, more to himself as if he is convincing himself to not to go far. “Okay.” He stands up with you in his arms and takes you to his bedroom and places you on top of his bed. It smells like him. A room that you have caught glimpses of it but never been inside. His bed has a rustic, reddish brown headboard, you realize an exercise bike on the corner of his room, dusty due to staying at the same place for a long period of time. You see the meds on the nightstand, his glasses, picture frames with him and Sarah laughing to the camera lens. Guilt is creeping up on you once again. It disappears when you feel his kiss on your neck though. His breath becomes hot against the side of your neck. You could feel his hands roaming around your body, toying with the hem of your dress. One of his hands slides up and down on your thigh while the other hand holds your waist tightly. He kisses the top of your shoulder and looks at you in the eyes. “Can I take this off?” you nod unable to speak. He takes off your dress, leaving you exposed in your bra and panties. His fingers grazing the top part of your bra, occasionally touching your skin. “You are so soft, so pretty.” He kisses your forehead. It gives you a sense of relief. It is like an unspoken agreement between you two. He peppers your skin with kisses, leaving the warm traces of his lips. Once he reaches down to your panties, he tilts his head up to look at you, to see you confirming him to go further. Once you nod, he kisses your heated cunt through the fabric. It is soaked due to your mind running wild with images of you. Traces his tongue between your folds. It feels amazing. Moans and whimpers leaving your lips with the sensation taking over your body. He is eating you out without even taking your underwear. When he rubs the tip of your nose to your clit, you groan. He knows what he is doing, slides your panties to the side and exposing your sleek, glistening pussy. It makes his mouth drool. He kisses, licks, worships it. This must be the princess treatment you think. His thumbs grazing your clit so softly, you want more… but he takes his time. drawing circles around it, going up and down occasionally parting your lips enjoying the view. But suddenly he covers your pussy with your soaked panties again. You furrow your brow with disappointment. You realize he unbuckles his belt. That’s it you think. He’s going to do it. He frees his cock and is his hard as a rock you see. You feel proud. It is a stupid thought, but you did this.

He leans on you again and kisses you passionately. “Such a good girl.” Your breath get heavier with the way he talks. “Or should I say bad?” “Are you my good little slut?” you nod, you want to be his good little slut. He chuckles. He nestles his cock between your folds on your panties and starts teasing your aching cunt more. The friction causes you to throb uncontrollably. He moves his cock on your sleek panties up and down, slapping it on your clit. “Mr. Miller…” you pant “I want more.” “Just the tip darling.” He coo, he is on top of your body on his knees while you’re lying as a puddle of pleasure. He slides your panties to the side again and aligns his cock with your hole, slowly pushes the tip inside. You moan and your cunt starts throbbing more and more. he pushes a little bit more but stops when he is not even halfway. “Just the tip.” He coos again and you curse. “Tsk tsk tsk, not a good girl behavior.” He leans on you when he is inside of you and unhooks your bra. He takes one of your nipples between his teeth while supping your other tit. You feel on the verge of coming yet you need more. You close your eyes in deep pleasure, your hands go to his hair and grabbing it tightly. His tongue massages your nipple, you moan. “Such a good girl baby girl.” “mmmm daddy.” You moan loudly and come, the realization of what you have just said hits you. Embarrassment takes over your body, you want to run away and hide but since you can’t do it, not when you are a naked mess you decide to act like nothing happened. He suddenly stops. “What did you just say?” “Nothing.” “You sure?” “Yeah.” “Okay.” He says but you can swear you caught a smirk. He continues moving the tip of cock inside you and biting your tit.

Suddenly he takes if off of you. And you realize what he is doing, your eyes widen and you can’t help but lick your lips. He spits between your tits then palms your tits and places his cock between them. At first, he moves slowly but then he picks up his pace and he fucks your tits roughly. “You called me daddy, didn’t you? you’re just a needy little slut eh?” he growls in your ears. The scene playing before your eyes is so pornographic that you want to close your eyes. “Yes daddy.” You reply automatically. It is so embarrassing but you can’t help it. He is dripping with precum, he is close. Without a warning he comes on your tits. You’re covered with warm, white liquid. He kisses your forehead once again “I’m proud of you. You did such a good job.” Your stomach flips upside down. “Wait for me here.” He says and leaves you on the bed. After a short time he comes with a wet cloth and wipes your body gently and lays beside you. Your eyes catches the picture of Sarah and him again, he realizes it “Don’t have to feel bad. It’s our secret.” He winks and spoons you. “I feel so safe.” You murmur. “Good. You should.” He replies.

A couple of hours later the key sound coming from the front door is what makes you anxious. You and Joel look at each other, you are both dumbfounded. “Dad I’m home.” she chirps. Joel is unable to reply back. But when she knocks in his door he clears his throat. “Honey, I’m a little busy right now.” He says and Sarah leaves his door, heads to her room. You have never felt so relieved in your life. You wear your clothes hastily and though Joel opposes the idea, you jump from the window and leave your best friend’s house like you just came in her dad’s bed.

#joel miller #the last of us #joel miller x reader #joel miller x y/n #joel miller hbo #joel miller x you #the last of us hbo #joel miller smut #pedro pascal #joel miller fanfiction #best friend's dad #pedrohub #smut #fanfic

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dbnightingale24 · 1 year

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You’ve Always Been My Dream

An Andy Barber One Shot

(Best friend’s Dad)

I promise that I genuinely mean it when I say that I’m going to update and finish all of my stories, but my brain never shuts up and I’m always coming up with new ideas, so now you all have this. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, but I hope you all enjoy it. Jacob’s best friend falling for his dad? My brain couldn’t just let this be a simple ‘porn with a plot’ type of deal. Nope, we’re about to have a whole fucking saga. Enjoy!

Word Count: 40,641

Warnings: Family drama, Age gap, Swearing, Drinking, Infidelity, Drinking, Arguing, Fluff, Angst, Mentions of gambling, SMUT (MINORS GET AWAY), Unprotected Sex (reader is on birth control, but it’s not mentioned), Daddy kink, hints of BDSM, Anxiety, Depression, Sexual assault (teacher makes a move without consent),...I’m sure I missed something, but I can’t think of it right now.

@fuckingbye, thank you for my kick ass mood board! I love you so much! Also, looking forward to the next time I can tackle you with a hug and not let go.

Song(s) That Inspired This Story: How Do I Make You Want Me? (And Make It Last Eternally?)

Summary: You didn’t expect to be a staple in Jacob’s life, and with the way Laurie kept Andy on a leash, you NEVER expected to become a staple in Andy’s life. However, life has a way of turning things around and changing everything you thought you knew.

I do not give consent/permission for my stories/ works to be posted elsewhere. I do not condone this type of behavior, this is for entertainment purposes only.

“You never come over anymore,” Jacob scoffs as drives you home from a night out with him and Sarah.

“I just have a lot going on,” you defend, looking out the window as you fidget with your fingers.

“Did something happen? Did my mom do something?”

“What? No! Nothing! I really just am busy. I know I’m not in college like you and Sarah, but I still have a job.”

“No, I know that...you know what I mean, Y/N. You used to come over all the time-”

“I didn’t even start coming to your house till I was 17.”

“And from 17-22, you would come over all the time. Now, getting you to come over is like pulling teeth.”

“I just...I don’t want to get too comfortable with your family. We come from two different worlds and-”

“You know my parents love you.”

“It’s not that it’s just...it’s really easy to get caught up in the world of the Barbers, and I don’t want to do that. Your parents automatically include me in everything, spend money on me as if it’s not a big deal, and I just...I need to remember my place.”

“So you’re mad at my parents for having money?”

“Jacob, why are you giving me a hard time about this?”

“Because I miss hanging out with my best friend!”

“You can hangout with me anywhere!”

“It’s easier for us to hangout at my parent’s house, cause I have a shit tone of papers to work on, and the last thing I need is a distraction.”

“Jacob-”

“If something happened, you know you tell me,” he says with a sincere sigh as he pulls up to your Mother’s house.

“I know I can, but nothing did happen. I’ll come over tomorrow after I get off work, okay?” you mutter in pure annoyance and defeat as you look out the window and see your Mother’s car isn’t in the driveway. “I wonder what club she’s at tonight.”

“How is it that she has time to go out all the time, but no time to find a fucking job?” Jacob questions, and it’s not hard to spot the disdain in his voice.

“Well, ya see, when my Father left, he was nice enough to leave some of the money he won. Why work when you can go to a club and find a nice rich man to bankroll you?”

“I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine. Everyone in my fucking family sucks, no big deal. I’ll be out by the end of the month, which is less than a week away.”

“It’s still fucked up.”

“Jacob, I’m not going to sit here and stomp my feet about it. We went from being dirt poor, to having entirely too much money, to both of my parents showing their true colors. I don’t care, I just want to get away from all of this shit.”

“Does he at least try and see you?”

“Every fucking weekend.”

“You should at least talk to him.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Y/N-”

“He won his money, bought this house, got a new little girlfriend, moved out overnight, then served my Mom with divorce papers out of the blue. Divorce papers that your Father gave her. My dad can go fuck himself,” you spit.

“Have you told your mom you’re moving out?”

“No because fuck her.”

Jacob waits a beat before he says anything. “See? This is why you should come over more often! We have so much to talk about!” Jacob laughs and you chuckle softly.

“Tomorrow, I promise,” you smile before leaning over and giving him a small kiss on the cheek, “text me when you get home?”

“I always do.”

“Thanks for tonight, I need it,” you nod before getting out of his car.

You close the door and quickly make your way up the stairs, doing your best to avoid the Massachusetts chill, waiving once more at Jacob before disappearing inside the house.

“Hello?” you call out, knowing that you’ll be met with complete and total silence.

When no one answers, you roll your eyes with a scowl before heading into the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of vodka out of the freezer. You don’t bother to grab a glass, opting to just take the whole bottle before you make your way upstairs, and hide away in your bedroom. You’ll never tell Jacob, but hanging out with him always makes you feel small.

Well, that and what actually happened.

You take a swig from the bottle before laying down and thinking about the entirety of your friendship with Jacob, thus far.

“Hey, just ignore them,” you said as you nudged Jacob’s shoulder, trying to make him feel less humiliated because of all the attention.

“Everyone here thinks I’m a killer so-”

“I don’t,” you offer with a small smile, as you try and usher you both through the hallways of 10th grade.

“Why are you being so nice to me?”

“Because I know what it’s like to have people never be nice to you,” you smiled weakly. “The people of Newton are just as sweet as they are cruel.”

“You must be new here.”

“I know who you are, Jacob. Wanting a bully dead doesn’t make you a bad guy, it just makes you honest.”

“And you are?”

“I’m Y/N,” you smiled as the bell rang for third period.

“It’s nice to meet you,” he smiled sheepishly.

“You too,” you smiled, outstretching your hand to shake his.

From that moment on, you two were inseparable. You were 15, he was 16, but he was only older than you by a few months. The first handful of times he’d asked to come over and hangout, you’d told him no because you have work. You could tell he didn’t believe you, so one Monday, you decided to bring him along with you to the library. After that, his parents wanted you to start coming around, because ever since that day, Jacob started looking for a job.

“I don’t get why it’s such a big deal,” you laughed as you two walked to your locker “teenagers have jobs.”

“I don’t.”

“Yeah, but you also don’t like to leave the house. Besides, doesn’t Sarah have a job?”

“Why do you think they love her so much?”

“Well, for as honored as I am, you know why I have to work. I help pay the bills.”

“After-”

“After, I go home and finish up my homework.”

“Have you thought about college at all?”

“I don’t have good enough grades for a scholarship and there’s no way I can afford it, and continue to help out.”

“They’re grants and you can apply for loans-”

“So I can have to deal with years and years of debt? No thanks,” you scoffed as you two made your way to your way to the lunchroom.

“Well, there’s always-”

“Jacob, it’s fine, honestly.I’ll graduate from this hellhole and get a job as a temp or something. Eventually, I’ll move out of this stupid town and won’t have to think about any of this shit anymore...where’s Sarah?”

“We got into an argument.”

“Please don’t tell me it was over me again.”

“She just needs to spend time with you.”

“WE’RE JUST FRIENDS!”

“Hey, I’m sitting at the same table as you, no need to shout.”

“It’s just so infuriating. Besides, if she paid any attention to the rumors, she’d know you’re too young.”

“Yeah, you need someone around my dad’s age,” he smirked.

“Exactly,” you laughed, stealing a fry off of his plate.

Little did you know, that joke would come back to bite you in the ass later in life.

Nonetheless, Jacob convinced Sarah to go to lunch with you two. After just 5 minutes of being around you two, Sarah realized that she had absolutely nothing to worry about, and almost instantly fell into rhythm the debate you and Jacob had been having for weeks:

Which is better? French fries or mozzarella sticks, and why?

After that, things seemed to finally calm down. You went to school, you went to work, you came home, listened to your parents argue about money and whose fault it was that there was none of it, and you went to bed.

For as great as everything was, there was still one issue: you still hadn’t met Jacob’s parents.

“You didn’t come to my birthday over the summer-”

“I apologized for that.”

“I know, but my parents are starting to think I made you up.”

“Sarah can vouch for you on that.”

“Y/N-”

“Why do you need me to meet them? I don’t do well with parents.”

“Why not?”

“The moms hate me and the dads wanna fuck me. I tend to just stay away from parents. I barely talk to my own.”

“My parents aren’t anything like that and you know it.”

“Jacob.”

“You missed my birthday, you didn’t come over for the holiday party-”

“You’re not going to drop this until I agree to come over for your graduation celebration, are you?”

“Nope.”

“Ugh, fuck you, Barber.”

“June 16th at 1. Thank you,” he smiled before he walked off.

You knew you were paranoid, but the rumors always lived rent free in your head and the stares and judging glances never stopped.

There have been so many variations of what actually happened that day your 9th grade year, that you’re shocked you remember what actually happened. Yes, you do have a thing for older men, but you were never dumb enough to actually go after one. Your curves had come in by the time you were in 7th grade, which meant that it wasn’t hard for you to catch anyone’s eye. So, it came as no surprise when you caught the eye of your 9th grade History teacher, Mr. Matthews.

Everyone’s favorite teacher.

It didn’t matter that he had approached you first, it didn’t matter that you asked him to stop sending you unsolicited dick pics, and it didn’t matter that you pushed him off of you when he kissed you. What did matter was that your “friends” had heard you say multiple times that you couldn’t wait to get older so that you could date older men, it mattered that you were often referred to as one if the prettiest girls in school, and what mattered was that everyone knew you weren’t a virgin.

When you finally found the courage to go to the principle and tell her what happened, showing her all the pictures and texts, it didn’t matter that there was proof that you didn’t want it. What mattered was that you got everyone’s favorite teacher fired.

After that, your friends stop calling and coming around, dads started looking you over more often when they picked up their kids from school, and mothers didn’t want their sons dating “such a tramp” (as one mother so lovingly put it).

Almost over night, you became a recluse. You worked as much as possible, you stayed in the library on your free periods, and when you weren’t too burnt out, you did your homework. By the time Jacob Barber came back to school, you had become such a recluse you barely paid attention to the fact that he was in your class. However, the site of someone shoving him into a locker and calling him a “murderous fucking psycho” broke your heart. You two bonded on being outcasts and bullied, and that’s how you two ended up being best friends.

“The Barbers seem like nice people, sweetheart,” your mother encouraged as she helped you style your hair.

“I just-”

“Listen, those fuck heads at the school are just that: fuck heads. Not everyone is going to see you in the light that they see you in. You didn’t do anything wrong-”

“I know I didn’t, but still.”

“Just relax, you’re gonna have a great time,” she reassured you as she placed her hands on your shoulders.

As luck would have it, Mr. Barber wasn’t there when you went to Jacob’s party. Jacob said he got called into work or something and that he wouldn’t be home until later. Laurie was unfailingly kind in her words and very welcoming, but her eyes told you differently. She would look you over and you knew she was trying to decide if you had been telling the truth all those years ago. You tried to talk yourself out of it, but the fact that whenever you came over Mr. Barber was always gone let you know that you weren’t being delusional.

But, you got over it.

Laurie was always nice to your face and she never stopped you from being friends with Jacob. As far as you were concerned, everything was fine for the most part.

Then, as fate would have it, your father hit the lotto of all things. He was quick to pack up the little bit that you all had and moved you all into a house only a few blocks away from the Barbers. You thought that would be the end of the arguing, but that somehow only made it worse. You kept hoping that they’d work it out, but one day you woke up and all of his things were gone. The next day, your mother answered the door to Andy Barber serving her divorce papers.

You practically lived in Jacob’s room for a month after that.

The only thing that made it worse? Your Father had been in a relationship with another woman for months. So, your Mother took the money that he left and decided to spend it on herself. You didn’t matter at all anymore. New purses, a new car, a shit ton of alcohol, new clothes, she just kept buying whatever she wanted and sleeping with whoever she wanted.

You were left to navigate through all of the bullshit by yourself.

You would have thought that with the news of what happened with your parents, and what your Father did, you would have found some favor with Laurie.

You didn’t.

While she started buying you things for the holidays and your birthdays (always signing them from both her and Andy), invited you over for holiday dinners, offered to let you throw celebrations for your birthday at the Barber household, but she still never wanted Andy around when you were there. Yeah, it hurt that she still didn’t trust you after so much time had passed, but you let it go. As long as you didn’t have to hear about her hating you, it was easy for you to pretend that she genuinely cared about you and that Andy was an extremely busy man.

See,the thing is, Laurie desperately wanted to like you but she just couldn’t.

You were kind, respectful, thoughtful, patient, and extremely caring. Yes, you loved Jacob and looked out for him when you two were out in public, but in a way, that made her even more wary. You never showed any interest in Jacob and he was completely wrapped up in Sarah. It didn’t help that half the time Jacob went out with you, he’d come home completely shit faced and alone. When she’d ask where you were in the morning, Jacob was always truthful and said “I don’t know, she went home with some guy she met at the bar.”

Yeah, Laurie wanted to like you, but just couldn’t bring herself to for a number of reasons, and you told yourself you were fine with it.

Until you overheard a conversation in their kitchen a year ago.

“Would you mind grabbing beers from downstairs?” Jacob asked as his eyes stayed glued to the screen in front him.

You don’t know how many times you’ve seen ‘Borat’ at this point, but you could quote it line for line. A talent you weren’t necessarily proud of.

“It’s your house.”

“It’s my parents house.”

“Even more reason for you to go and get it.”

“Y/N come on, this my favorite part!”

“You owe me, Barber,” you muttered before you got up and quickly made out of the room.

It’s not like you meant to creep downstairs, but you knew how Laurie felt about you, and Jacob had invited you over unannounced because he just wanted to hangout and was worn out from college.

You were more than ready to run into the kitchen then run back upstairs, but the voices you heard coming from the kitchen made you come to a complete stop.

“Laurie, this is fucking ridiculous! She’s our son’s best friend and I’ve never even met the girl!” Andy snapped in a hushed tone.

“You saw her at graduation!”

“That’s bullshit and you know it! The fact is you still have this idea about some stupid revenge!”

“Why wouldn’t you? And why not with her?! The whole town knows-”

“Jesus! She was a fucking child when that happened, and she very clearly didn’t-”

“She was a child then but she isn’t now!”

“Do you hear how fucking crazy you sound?!”

You leaned in a little bit more than you meant to and quickly took a step to regain your balance, but the floor creaked and you instantly knew you were found out, so instead of trying to run off in the other direction, you walked into the kitchen as if you’d just gotten there.

“Oh Y/N! How’s Borat?” Laurie smiled with a small laugh as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

“Same as its always is,” you chuckled awkwardly as you made your way to the fridge “sorry to interrupt though, Jacob just wanted me to grab a few beers.”

“As silly as it sounds, you’ve never met Andy! Andy meet-”

“I’ve heard a lot about you,” he smiled at you sincerely as he outstretched his hand.

“I get it, you’ve been extremely busy, it’s not a problem at all,” you smiled sheepishly before taking his outstretched hand and shaking it.

He didn’t look you over, he didn’t ogle you, and he didn’t give you a suggestive smirk. Instead, his eyes let you know that he was sorry. He knew you’d heard what they had been talking about and he felt embarrassed and awful.

It made your heart flutter just a little.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you,” you laughed awkwardly before letting go of his hand and opening the fridge, accidentally grabbing the entire six pack “I should get back to Jake.”

“Y/N, what you heard tonight-” Laurie started as you shook your head.

“I didn’t hear a thing,” you lied with a sincere smile before exiting and making your way back upstairs.

“What took you so long?” Jacob asked as you closed the door to his room.

“I finally got to meet your dad,” you chuckled nervously as you handed him a beer.

“It’s about fucking time,” he chuckled as he took the beer from you. “How’d that go?”

‘Well you know....me and parents.”

“Oh God, were they weird? Was he weird?”

“No, it was just me, like always,” you lied before almost completely downing an entire bottle of beer. “Hey, do your parents argue a lot?”

“All the fucking time,” he scoffed as if it were not a big deal.

“What about?” you questioned before you finished off your beer and grabbed a second; wasting no time in opening another one before you took a giant swig from it.

“Anything, honestly. My dad went through this really bad depression the summer before I met you. He was drunk every day, never wanted to leave the house unless it was for work...him and my mom were fighting a lot. Sometimes over me and sometimes over him and the secrets he decided to keep. Anyway, since then, they’ve been arguing about everything. For the last 3 or 4 years, they’ve been arguing about some girl.”

“Oh?”

“My mother swears that my father is out on some revenge quest with some young woman, and she lays into him about it every chance she gets.”

“Do you know who?”

“Nah, I just know she works at a library or something,” he shrugged.

You loved Jacob so much, but sometimes he could be a complete and total fucking idiot.

“Well,” you started before downing the entire second bottle “I’ve gotta get going.”

“What?!” Jacob exclaimed as he paused the movie. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, I just have to get back.”

“To what? You know she’s drunk at some club-”

“I have work tomorrow, Jake. At the library,” you muttered, hoping to drop the hint that you were the girl his parents had been arguing about for years.

“That’s not until the afternoon!”

“I’m working the full day, I need the money.”

“Y/N, did something happen down there?”

“I promise everything is fine,” you lied with a reassuring smile “I’ll call you when I get home.”

“At least let me drive you home.”

“It’s a short walk, I’ll be fine,” you laughed as you grabbed another beer and got up. “I’ll call you when I get home,” you repeated before you walked out.

You quickly made your way downstairs and practically ran out the door, pretending you didn’t hear Laurie when she called after you.

From that day on, you’ve barely ever stepped foot inside the Barber household. When you’d run into Laurie at the grocery store, you’d make polite small talk and pretend you didn’t know how little she actually thought of you, and you went out of your way to avoid Andy.

In Laurie’s defense, if you were her, you’d have anxiety about women trying to steal your husband all the time.

Besides the fact that he’s annoyingly good at his job, Andy Barber is insanely attractive. Girls throw themselves him, guys envy him, and you’d overheard a few women at school talk about how they changed their workout routines just so they could catch a glimpse of him swimming. Women wanted Andy and they didn’t try to hide it. So, when some young woman comes along, who’s never shied away from the fact that she likes older men, of course she threw all logic out the window and decided to keep her husband as far away as possible.

So, out of respect and not wanting to cause more stress for Jacob, you stayed away. The last time you saw him was the beginning of the month.

“I feel like you’re busier than usual,” Sarah commented as the three of you hung out in the living room.

Sarah was cuddled up against Jacob on one side of the sofa, and you were laid out on the other side, half paying attention to the movie playing.

“That’s because I am,” you groaned as she chuckled.

“Well, why don’t you slow up? The library can’t possibly need you as much.”

“I’m not working there anymore.”

“Oh? And why weren’t we told?”

“Because it’s a surprise!” you whined as they both start to laugh.

“Well,” Jacob started as he turned his attention towards you “now you have to tell us.”

“It’s a surprise!”

“Nope, we gotta know. It’s gonna bother us all night.”

“You both suck, I hope you know that,” you scowled as they both continued to laugh “I started working as a secretary at that advertising agency not far from the college.”

“Sloman and Brothers? Well look at you!” Jacob exclaimed. “The next time we all go out, dinner will be on you!”

“You say this as if I don’t have bills.”

“Your Mother is still making you help out?”

“No, I’m finally getting my own place.”

“SERIOUSLY?!”

“Yes,” you laughed as you felt his genuine happiness and love for you.

“That’s great, I’m happy for you,” Mr. Barber’s voice came from behind, which caused you to jump and sit straight up.

“I thought you guys were gonna go out for dinner,” Jacob said casually, not paying to your complete change in your demeanor.

Sarah did though.

“Change of plans,” Laurie smiled, but you could see irritation in her eyes. Whether it was towards you or Mr. Barber you couldn’t tell, but Jacob’s eyeroll let you know it was directed towards Mr. Barber. “Andy’s right though, Y/N. That’s amazing and we’re so happy for you.”

“Thank you,” you smiled awkwardly before you got up “but I should be going now.”

“What? The movie isn’t even halfway over!” Jacob protested.

“I know, but I do have work tomorrow, and I have to get boxes to start packing my stuff in, it’s not a lot but still.”

“Actually, Y/N is making a good point. I think I’m gonna head out. I can give you a ride back to your place.”

“What the fuck?!” Jacob snapped.

“Jacob!” Laurie reprimanded.

“Watch it, bud,” Andy warned.

“Jacob, it’s fine. You’re picking me up after work tomorrow, we’ll hangout then.”

“Yeah fine,” he huffed before standing up and giving her a small hug and a kiss on the lips. “I love you, let me know when you’re home safe, okay?”

“I always do,” she smiled at him.

“And you,” he nodded as he turned towards you “don’t start packing without me.”

“As if I have anyone else to call,” you teased with a soft small.

“Hey, finish up that paper. I know it’s a pain but you’re almost done and it’s due tomorrow,” Sarah reminded him and you sighed, knowing what was coming next.

“Jacob, we pay your tuition and you barely work.There’s no reason for that paper to not be done already,” Laurie snapped as Andy ran a frustrated hand through his hair.

“It’s almost done,” Jacob scowled.

“You shouldn’t be doing anything until that paper is done!”

“Stop it, Laurie.” Andy sighed

“Stay out of it, Andy!”

“Stay out of it? He’s my son too!” Andy shouted back.

“Okay, I’m gonna grab a fucking beer, then I’m going to work on this fucking paper. I love you both, enjoy your night cause I sure as shit won’t,” Jacob all but growled before storming out of the living room and into the kitchen.

“Um, bye Mr. And Mrs. Barber,” Sarah said sheepishly before heading out.

You followed right behind, giving them both a small wave. Jacob was about to have the night from hell and you felt awful.

“I shouldn’t have said anything, I feel like an asshole,” Sarah practically cried as you two got into her car.

“It’s not your fault, Laurie was angry the minute she set foot through the door. Whether it was with me or Andy-”

“Yeah, what’s going on there?” Sarah asked as she started her car.

“Something tells me you’re not taking me home, are we?” you groaned as you slumped down in the seat.

“Nope, we’re going to talk about this all of this over dinner.”

For the next hour, you told Sarah all about your friendship with Jacob and how Laurie had been silently against it from the beginning, but would never say anything about it to your face. When you told her about the conversation you’d overheard between her and Andy a year ago, she was understandably pissed.

“She seriously believes that you seduced Mr. Matthews?” she snapped.

“I honestly don’t know if she believes I did or that if she’s just afraid that now that I’m older, I’ll go after Andy. Mind you, tonight’s the second time I’ve ever seen the fucking man.”

“Wait, what?”

“Laurie makes sure to keep him out of the house and away when she knows I’m coming over. The first night we finally fucking met was an accident. Jacob invited me over to watch ‘Borat’ and didn’t tell Laurie first. Hence the quiet argument in the kitchen.”

“That’s such fucking bullshit! I mean, I kind of had an idea that something was wrong when he told me that his parents had been fighting about a girl that worked in a library, I kinda assumed it was you, but I had no idea it was this fucking ridiculous. I’m gonna take a guess and assume that Jacob knows nothing about this?”

“Of course not. I’ll never tell him about the conversation because it’ll only make things worse for him at home, but he’s never going to put the library thing together,” you scoffed as the waiter dropped off the second round of drinks.

“Yeah, I love the man, but he can be so clueless at times,” she chuckled before taking a sip of her margarita. “Can I ask you something? And please don’t take it as-”

“You can ask me anything, Sarah,” you laughed.

“Do you have a crush on Mr. Barber? I mean, I know you find older men attractive and-”

“I don’t know the man,” you laughed with a shrug “I mean, I’m not blind; the man is gorgeous, but that doesn’t mean I have a crush on him. Would I have a one night stand with him? Who wouldn’t? However, he’s married and Jacob’s dad, and I’d never put Jacob through more hell than hes already been through.”

“You really do love him, don’t you?”

“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for him,” you smiled softly.

“Have you tried dating guys our age?”

“Yeah, and it sucked,” you chuckled. “I don’t know, I just don’t have anything in common with guys our age.”

“There’s Jacob.”

“Yeah, but I don’t feel that way towards Jacob. You know that.”

“No, I’m saying that if you can have fun and enjoy someone our age, the way you do with Jacob, why not try it with someone else and try out dating them?”

“I’m just always bored with guys our age, I don’t know how to explain it. The conversation is boring, the sex is bad, and there’s no spark. Just a dull fucking flame,” you muttered before taking a sip of your Mai Tai.

“Are you the type of woman who calls a man ‘Daddy’?” she giggled.

“Only if he works for it,” you smirked as she burst out laughing.

The rest of the dinner went great and you told Sarah (and yourself) that would all be sorted soon enough.

You’re just hoping and praying that you’ll be able to keep Jacob in the dark long enough until you get out.

Your mother coming home and giggling at something the guy who brought her home says, pulls you out of your thoughts. You take another giant swig from the bottle before closing it; settling under your covers and quickly finding your way to sleep land.

It can’t always rain...right?

The hard knock on your front door brings a smile to your face and you run downstairs to answer it, happy to finally get the fuck out of the hellhole your father purchased.

Also referred to as a house.

“Okay, so basically everything is packed and...oh?” you stop when you open the door and see Jacob standing there...with Andy.

“Yeah,” Jacob laughs as he makes his way inside “it’s Saturday and he has nothing better to do. Wasn’t hard to convince to help me move a few desks.”

“Where’s Mrs. Barber?”

“Oh, she’s out to lunch with some friends. When’s your mom gonna be back?”

“She’ll be gone all day. Apparently the last guy she brought home really stuck,” you scoff before turning to Andy “thank you. I really appreciate it.”

“Anytime,” he smiles at you. “How many desks are we moving?”

“2 desks, 2 drawers, and 1 closet.”

“And how you were you two planning on doing that alone?”

“Hope, Mr. Barber. A lot of hope,” you smirk as he laughs.

Jacob and Andy are quick to grab the desks, drawers, and closet, while you finish boxing up the last few things you have. It’s sad that you don’t even feel a little upset about leaving. You only feel relief.

Andy volunteers to drive the moving truck, while Jacob drives his car and you drive your own.

And just like that, you’re all moved out. It’s like you were never even there.

“Y/N, this place is amazing!” Jacob exclaims as the three of you make your way inside your new place.

“I still can’t believe it’s mine,” you snort.

“I’m so happy for you!”

“I’ll be happy once I deal with my mom. God knows how long it’ll take for her to figure out that I’m gone,” you mutter.

“Hey, lets not worry about that right now. Lets get you moved in,” he smiles at you, and you can’t help but smile back.

As you all unloaded the truck, you take notice of how much Jacob is checking on Andy, and how hard he’s working to make him laugh and smile. You also notice how upset and worn out he seems, even though he tries to hide it.

“Hey,” you call to Jacob after Andy steps out, going to get another box “what’s going on with you?”

“Nothing,” he lies with a soft chuckle “just excited-”

“Jake, you know better.”

“I don’t wanna dampen your day.”

“You not telling me will dampen my day, cause I’ll be worried.”

“I wish they’d get a fucking divorce already,” he sighs, leaning against the wall.

“Who? Your parents?”

“All they fucking do is fight, and if my mom’s real pissed, she takes it out on me. I don’t see the point of them staying together anymore, because it really is just for show at this point. I don’t even know why she’s so mad all the time. She’s been angry ever since everything happened and it just feels like it never went away. The only reason I even fucking stayed home for college was to lookout for him. Remember I told you about the really bad depression he went through a little while back? He was always drunk, never left the house, cried a lot? She would just...she holds all these fucking grudges. Things she needs to let go of, but refuses to. He stays because he loves her and he feels like he owes me something.”

“Are you mad at him?”

“I mean...I was. Everything was happening at once, I was on trial for murder, and I was just a kid. I was angry, but I got older and I understood. My dad’s not a bad guy. He loves the shit out of me and my mom, and he cares about people in his own way. No, he isn’t some patron saint, but he they’re people with far worse dads than mine. A good example? His own dad. I don’t know, he just doesn’t deserve this.”

“Be that as it may, you can’t make yourself miserable over the problems of two grown adults.”

“You’re one to talk.”

“We’re standing in the middle of my brand new apartment. I am one to talk, babe,” you smirk at him and he laughs softly. “Listen, I really don’t anything about your dad other than that he loves the hell out of you. He wouldn’t want you making yourself miserable for all of this, and you can’t make him leave your mom. It has to be a decision he makes on his own.”

“I just feel guilty.”

“Trust me, I completely understand, but there’s really nothing more you can do besides be there for him when he needs or wants to talk. You don’t have to stay in that house to do that.”

“I hate it when you’re right.”

“So...all the time?”

“Fuck you,” he laughs as you wrap in him in a hug.

“It’s gonna be okay, Jake.”

“Thank you.”

“Always,” you smile as you two break apart.

“Forgot my phone, I have a call to make,” Andy chuckles with a shake of his head as he makes his way back into your apartment,

You two make eye contact for a split second, but it’s long enough to let you know that you heard everything that was just discussed.

Fuck.

He doesn’t say a thing about it and acts as if he didn’t hear anything, but you still feel bad. You hope and pray that he doesn’t think that you’re coming off as judgmental and rude, because that’s the last thing you want. You just want to be there for Jacob because he needs it. All he has (outside of his parents) are you and Sarah, and you want to make sure that he knows that he can have better if he really wants to.

So can Andy.

By the time all the boxes and furniture are setup, you’re all beat.

“I feel like I should buy you both dinner,” you smile halfheartedly at the Barber men who just laugh in response.

“We should be buying you dinner,” Andy retorts.

“No! You both spent your Saturday helping me move in! It’s the least-”

“You’re a young woman moving into her first apartment on her own, with no help from anyone, and at a young age. It’s a big deal. What’s your favorite place to get food from?” Andy asks with a sincere smile.

You ignore the butterflies in your stomach as you focus on the correct answer to his question. “Um, you know the Chinese place not too far from your job? Great Dynasty?”

“I love that place! They have the best dumplings!”

“They do!”

“Should I step out while you two have a moment?” Jacob laughs and you flip him off.

Andy takes everyone’s order, and you laugh when the both of you almost end up getting the same thing, and Jacob promises to be the one to pick it up since Andy ordered. You find your record player easily enough and pull out your favorite The Clash album, before asking the both of them what they want to drink.

“Keep in mind, you both have to drive,” you smirk as you pour yourself a glass of whiskey.

“You like the Clash, you favor whiskey, you have great taste in Chinese food, and you love black and white movies?”

“And how would you know that I love black and white movies?” you chuckle as you cock an eyebrow.

“Jacob has a big mouth,” Andy mumbles.

“You make me watch them all the time!” Jacob defends.

“And how many times have I had to sit through ‘Borat’? I don’t wanna hear it,” you shoot back before sticking your tongue out at him.

“This is turning out to be a lot more fun than I thought it would be,” Andy laughs “do you have bourbon?”

“I raided my mom’s liquor cabinet, so I have everything,” you smile before turning to Jacob “except beer.”

“Why are you always against me?” he grumbles as you and Andy burst out laughing. “I’ll go buy some and by the time I’m back, the food should be just arriving.”

“You can calculate time when it comes to school, but in high school...”

“Watch it,” he warns and you giggle.

“Either of you want anything?” he questions, grabbing Andy’s car fob off the kitchen island.

“Chips and salsa, please,” you smile at him.

“You can’t live off chips and salsa.”

“Watch me,” you smirk and he chuckles “and wear your damn seat belt.”

“Jake!” Andy snaps.

“It’s only sometimes!” he quickly counters before turning to you “traitor.”

“You shouldn’t be driving around without it!”

“I swear, you’re such a mom,” he scowls before turning his attention back to Andy “you be nice to her.”

“I’m always nice, it’s your mother you have to worry about,” Andy mutters and you almost choke on your whiskey.

“Fair point,” Jacob scoffs before walking out.

Leaving you all alone with Andy Barber.

“Well, this is awkward,” Andy smirks and a small giggle escapes your lips as you pour him a drink.

“Only a little bit.”

“Listen, about Laurie-”

“You don’t have to-”

“I do, because you don’t deserve to feel like you’re the problem, cause you’re not. I know that you heard what she said that night and I’m sorry. It was...rude, disgusting, and wrong. You’ve been nothing but a great friend to Jacob, and I don’t know why...you were a child-”

“I’m not one now,” you scoff with an eye roll before taking a sip of your drink.

“Is it bad that this is the third time I’ve seen you and I feel terrible?”

“You have no reason to feel terrible. Honestly, neither does Laurie. I see how women look at you and how they talk about you, and then there’s me: your sons best friend, with a reputation. Whether it’s true or not, doesn’t matter because the seed has already been planted. She’s just trying to-”

“She’s trying to make sure I don’t do to her what she did to me,” he mutters before he can stop himself. He quickly looks at you with shock in his eyes “forget you heard-”

“I won’t tell Jacob,” you tell him reassuringly, but your heart breaks a little and he can tell.

“She only did it the one time, it was after the trial and she had her doubts and reservations. She’s not a bad-”

“You don’t have to explain yourself or your marriage to me. You see my family, I’m not about to start throwing stones.”

“I just don’t want you to think the worst of her. I heard what you told Jacob-”

“I wasn’t trying to tell him to abandon you-”

“No, I know, I just...you’re right, he can’t fix what’s wrong between Laurie and I. I wish I had known he stayed just for me. I would’ve told him to go to Yale. Did you know that he was accepted into Yale?”

“He was accepted into a lot of colleges. He read and showed me every single acceptance letter.”

“If I’m honest, I thought he stayed for you. I’ve always believed he’s in love with you.”

“Everyone seems to think that. We’re just friends though. I should want to be with him, but it’s just not...he’s not my type.”

“What’s wrong with him?”

“Nothing,” you laugh before taking another sip of your drink “I’m not his type either. We’re best friends.”

“I can’t imagine you not being someones type....I don’t mean to be-”

“You’re fine,” you chuckle softly.

“You’re oddly calming to talk to.”

“Jacob always says that.”

“So,” he starts as he clears his throat, taking a seat “I feel like I have a lot to learn about you.”

“There’s really nothing to know,” you laugh “I have two friends, I don’t talk to my parents much, I work a lot, I tend to drink a bit too much at times, I have a horrible sleep schedule, I drink entirely too much coffee, I love to cook, I laugh entirely too loud when I think something is funny, and I cry every time I watch ‘Titanic’,” you finish with a smile before finishing off your drink and pouring yourself another glass as Andy laughs.

“I’m sure there’s more to you than that.”

“I’m as plain as they come.”

“Well, I guess I’ll just have to pay closer attention and find out for myself.”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“I don’t see why not.”

“Where does Mrs. Barber think you are? Couldn’t help but notice that you weren’t there on Tuesday.”

“She thinks I’m working,” he sighs as finishes off his own drink and pouring himself another. “I feel awful-”

“Why? You haven’t done anything wrong. You didn’t say it, she did.”

“I should’ve stood up to her.”

You take a minute before you speak. “Mr. Barber-”

“Andy. Please call me Andy. ‘Mr. Barber’ makes me feel like an old man. Just because I am one doesn’t mean I wanna feel like one.”

“You’re not old but okay,” you chuckle softly “Andy, I don’t wanna overstep, but...you don’t have to stay if you don’t want to. You don’t owe anyone anything. Jacob talks about you all the time, you’re his hero. You did what you thought was best and I can’t fault you for that. Hell, I wish no one knew about what my dad did and all it was, was cheat and be an asshole. I just...from the way Jacob talks about you, how hes always talked about you...you shouldn’t have to put yourself through hell to feel like you’re a good man,” you finish softly.

“How old are you?”

“I am in the middle of being 23 and it’s a fucking doozy,” you chuckle and he laughs.

“Jacob’s lucky to have a friend like you.”

“He’s also lucky to have you as a father,” you smile at him, as the record comes to an end. “Any requests?”

“You may hate them but...Alice in Chains?”

“They’re my favorite band in the world, so you’re in luck,” you practically squeal as you make your way over to your record box.

You two spend the rest of your time alone together talking about music and movies, laughing and bonding over how alike you two are, but the minute Jacobs steps foot into your apartment, you change the subject. You know you have nothing to be ashamed of, but it just feels personal and like you both shouldn’t be saying anything in front of him.

From that moment on, you and Andy decide that whatever you two decide to talk about is between you two. You have private phone calls with him, you two text all the time, and you both FaceTime often. No, you’re not trying to lure Andy Barber in, but talking to him is so freeing and honest. He’s fun to talk to and it’s not like you talk to a lot of people to begin with.

“Lets grab drinks,” Andy says from the Bluetooth device that’s connected to your car.

“You know we can’t,” you laugh as you press on the brakes as you reach a stoplight.

“I hate talking about all of this shit over the phone.”

“Yeah well, Laurie will hate you and lay into Jacob because of it.”

“This is so dumb.”

“You could get a divorce.”

“Then hangout with you so she can hate you?”

“She already hates me, Andy. Who cares?”

“I do.”

“Andy.”

“It’s not fair to you, and it pisses me the fuck off.”

“Well, you’re sweet,” you smile before grabbing your phone, switching it back to personal use, turning your car off and getting out “but I’m fine.”

“Well, I’m not. Am I an idiot? You’re an adult and so am I. We should be able to hangout without having to deal with anyone’s shit.”

“Without Laurie’s shit.”

“We’re not doing anything wrong.”

“She won’t see it that way...shit,” you groan as you get to your apartment, seeing Andy leaning against your door.

“I wanted to see you,” he says simply as he hangs up.

“Why did you even suggest drinks if you were already here?”

“I knew you’d say no.”

“Andy-”

“A good conversation isn’t cheating,” he reassures you. “She doesn’t know I’m here and I’ll never tell her.”

“Isn’t that a problem in and of itself?”

“It’s only a problem because-”

“Andy.”

“If you tell me to go, I’ll leave right now,” he promises sincerely.

How are supposed to tell him no? How are you supposed to turn him down?

Somehow, you’ve become Andy’s therapist and best friend. It’s not like you two do much of anything besides talk, and you only see every other week. Of course Andy is attractive, and you aren’t going to lie and say that it isn’t nice to have someone to talk to who you feel like actually gets it, but at the end of the day, he’s Jacob’s dad and Laurie’s husband. You refuse to cross that line.

“How was work?” he asks, pouring you both a drink as you go into your room to change.

“I’d like, for once in my life, to not be fucking looked at like I’m a fucking sex doll,” you scowl as you pull on sweatpants then your Boston University crew neck.

“You can tell your boss.”

“Complain to my boss about my boss? No thanks,” you sigh as you step back out into the living area, making your way over to the kitchen.

“You could just quit.”

“Then how would I pay for this nice apartment?”

“You’re extremely smart and talented, I’m sure you’d be able to find another job in an instant.”

“You are annoyingly kind,” you smile as you take a seat at the kitchen island. “Where does she think you are tonight?”

“Work,” Andy responds nonchalantly as he passes you your drink.

“Andy.”

“Would you like for me to call her and tell her that I’m here?”

“I would like for you to get a divorce.”

“I owe her-”

“You don’t owe her shit, Andy.”

“If you’re against her so much-”

“I’m not against her, I’m against you feeling like you need to pay penance.”

“Y/N-”

“Do you still love her enough to go through all of this?”

“It’s not that simple.”

“Andy, how old are you?”

“42...about to be 43.”

“That explained so much so fast,” you chuckle before taking a sip of your drink. “You’re still young. You can leave Laurie, find someone new, and not feel like you have to hide your friendships or who you really are.”

“She just needs time.”

“How much more time does she need? Andy, you’re not that guy. Don’t be that guy.”

“What about you? I don’t see you making-”

“Y/N!” Jacob called from the other side of your door.

You and Andy both exchange panicked looks as you hear him put the key you gave him into the keyhole. Andy quickly runs into your room as you down his drink and put it into the sink.

No one is doing anything wrong, so you’re not sure why the both of you feel so guilty.

“Why didn’t you answer?” Jacob asks as he makes his way inside.

“I was mid sip,” you laugh awkwardly.

“You’re wearing the crew neck I got you.”

“Gotta support my favorite guy,” you smile at him “what’s up?”

“I have a question and I don’t want you to freak out.”

“Well, now I am freaked out,” you mutter before taking a sip of whiskey.

“It’s not anything bad, I just...it’s...do you think...Christ, why can’t I find the words?!”

“Just spit it out.”

“Do you think I’ll be moving too fast if I propose to Sarah?” he spits out all at once.

“Well...shit.”

“I’m gonna talk to my dad about it, but I tell you everything, so I wanna run it past you first.”

“I mean, you two have been together forever and you love the hell out of each other....have you two even talked about getting a place together?”

“We’ve been looking at apartments, but we haven’t decided on anything yet.”

“Well, I 1000% think you two should get married, but you need a game plan. I’ve known you long enough to know that you don’t have one.”

“Well, where should I start?”

“For one, graduate first. I would imagine that planning a wedding and trying to graduate at the same time is annoying and stressful as hell. Next, decide on a place to live. I know you two have had a million sleepovers, but it’s not the same as actually living together.”

“Sarah could be the worst fucking roommate ever and I’d still propose. After all the shit shes had to put up, and all the shit we’ve been through...I love her so fucking much, Y/N.”

“I know you do, Jake,” you smile at him.

You can only imagine the smile on Andy’s face right now.

“Okay, graduate first, move in together, then propose. Got it. Graduation isn’t that far off anyway.”

“Aw, look at my little adult,” you beam and he flips you off.

“Will you go with me to pick out a ring? It’ll be me, you, and my dad...well, if he says yes.”

“You know he will,” you laugh softly “what about your mom?”

“Eh.”

“Eh?”

“I just feel like she’ll be a dark cloud. She’s so fucking moody lately, her and my dad have been arguing a lot, and she’s been a real ass to me.”

“Jacob.”

“Don’t. It’s fucking hell living in that house, and part of that is because of her and how she is. I don’t know what her fucking problem is, but I’m tired of always getting shit on because she’s having a bad day. I wish I never wrote that fucking story. She’s always going to think I’m a monster and she’s always going to be bitter about the fact that everyone looked at her as a bad parent.”

“She loves you, Jacob. I don’t have many talks with her, but the few that I’ve had, she loves. She may fuck up from time to time, but what parent doesn’t?”

“When’s the last time you spoke to yours?”

“We’re not talking about me,” you mutter as you down the rest of your drink before pouring yourself another one.

“I don’t get why I have to make nice with my mom, but you don’t have to with yours.”

“It took her a month to realize I moved out, Jake. Laurie would notice in a second.”

“Y/N-”

“Also, once she realized I moved out, she called me crying and bitched me out. She said I abandoned her just like my father did, even though it took her a fucking month to realize I was even gone. As for my dad, he’s getting married and wants me to be supportive. He told me that he didn’t abandon me, but he just needed to start over because too much had happened. So, that’s why you need to make nice with your mom and I don’t have to make nice with mine.”

“I didn’t mean...I’m sorry,” he sighs as he leans against the the kitchen island. “Ya know, I really fucking hate your parents,” he scowls and you laugh. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

“There’s nothing to talk about. Both of them are selfish assholes,” you shrug. “There’s nothing more to it.”

“You’re a liar but I won’t press the matter. I gotta go though, I’m having dinner with Sarah and her family. I’ll text you later, I love you,” he smiles before leaning across the island and kissing your cheek.

“I love you too, Jake,” you smile as he goes to leave. “Wear your damn seat belt!”

“Jesus, yes mom!” he call over his shoulder before walking out and closing the door behind.

“Holy shit!” Andy beams as he steps out of your room and you burst out laughing. “He wants to propose! I’m so fucking....holy shit!”

“And he’s gonna come to you for advice soon,” you smile at him before taking his glass out of the sink and pouring him a drink.

“Why did you drink it?” he laughs.

“I panicked!”

“Why?”

“Why did you go running into my bedroom?”

“I’ve never seen it before,” he smirks and you let out a small laugh. “You know, you’re really good with him.”

“Who? Jacob? What do you mean?”

“You always know the right thing to say and how to calm him down. I forget that he’s the older one.”

“Jacob just needs patience and understanding. Just take your time with him and he’s fine. He’s a great guy, he’s just a little dark at times. We all are,” you shrug.

“Your parents-”

“Guess what I don’t wanna talk about?”

“Talk to me, Y/N. I’m not Jacob, I will push.”

“Why? It’s not a big deal. I’m fine.”

“No you’re not.”

“And how would you know?”

“Cause I know you. Talk to me.”

“It just gets fucking irritating. They’re both adults but neither of them acts like it. I’m fine not talking to them, my life is much less hectic, but it would be nice to actually have parents instead of always having to be the parent,” you sigh before finishing your drink and slamming the glass down.

Andy says nothing as he rounds the island and slowly makes his way over to you. He wraps his arms around you tight and you swear it’s the best hug you’ve ever gotten.

All of Andy’s hugs make you feel like you’re home.

“I’m sorry,” he says softly. “You deserve so much better from everyone and I’m just so sorry. I’m sorry I can’t make it better for you.”

“I’m just tired. I’m so fucking tired,” you sob into his chest, wrapping your arms around him.

“I know you are, honey.”

“I’ve been doing everything all the time and I’m just ready for a fucking break. I just...ugh! I’m sorry.”

“Hey, don’t you dare be sorry. I vent to you all the time about everything. You can cry to me whenever you want about anything.”

“This isn’t your job. I shouldn’t be-”

“Y/N, you don’t have to be strong all the time. I want to be there for you like you’re always there me for me. If there’s anyone who deserves a good friend and someone to lean on, it’s you,” he tells you softly as he gently rubs your back.

If Andy Barber were anyone else, he’d be perfect for you. However, he’s not yours and you need to remember that.

“Are you staying for dinner?” you sniffle as you let go of him.

“Do you want me to?”

“I always want you to stay,” you scoff without even thinking. Mortification runs through your body as you realize what you just said. “I just mean-”

“You’re fine,” he chuckles. “What do you want? I’ll cook.”

“I’ll cook.”

“You need to relax.”

“I actually like cooking,” you laugh.

“Y/N-”

“How about we cook together?”

“A fair compromise,” he smiles at you.

After going through everything in your fridge and freezer (which really isn’t much), you both decide that something simple is the best choice. You make cheeseburgers and french fries in a happy silence, while The Doors play quietly in the background on your record player. You’ve never realized just how at ease he makes you feel until this moment.Everything feels so normal and simple.

You’re happy.

“Okay, what do you wanna watch?” you ask as you two sit on your sofa.

“I chose last time.”

“You’re a guest.”

“No, you just don’t like making decisions.”

“You’re annoying,” you tease and he chuckles. “How about...’Vivacious Lady’?”

“I don’t think we’ve watched that one yet.”

“Then ‘Vivacious Lady’ it is!”

Halfway through the movie, his phone rings and he rolls his eyes when checks it before ignoring it and putting it down.

“Andy-”

“She can wait.”

“She’s gonna get pissed.”

“She’s always pissed.”

“She’s gonna think you’re cheating.”

“She always thinks I’m cheating.”

“Andy-”

“I’m happy right now, Y/N. So fucking happy. I just want to enjoy it a little bit longer before I have to go home and deal with whatever bullshit she has waiting for me this time.”

“Why do you stay with her? You’re not happy, Jake isn’t happy-”

“Do we have to get into it now?”

“Yes.”

“I’m just...before Jacob’s trial, we were so happy. I don’t know, maybe it was all fake because she never knew the truth about my past. She fell in love with the version of myself that I made up so I could forget about my past. It’s really fucking hard to accept that it’s over. Yeah, she says she loves me and she wants to make it work, but I don’t know how much I believe it. Yeah, we both make good money, but I’m the DA. That title still has some pull around here and people are nice to me just because I’m Andy Barber. She likes that. She likes it a lot. I keep holding on to hope that we’ll get back to how we were, but I just...I don’t know. Saying “it’s over” and following through are two very different things. I guess I’m just in denial,” he sighs before downing the rest of his drink.

You pause the movie and turn to look at him. “Stop feeling like you owe her something-”

“Y/N-”

“Just hear me out,” you interrupt softly. “The argument can be made that mistakes happened on both sides, and yeah, fine. In that sense, neither one of you owes each other anything. However, you didn’t cheat, she did. You’re not keeping her on a tight leash out of fear that she’ll cheat on you like you did her; she is. You’re not the one taking your anger out on Jacob, she is, and you aren’t the one who gave up on the marriage. She is. So, why are you putting yourself through hell? What does it prove? That you’re willing to make yourself miserable for someone who you don’t love the same way you did before? Things happen, and sometimes things fall apart. You making yourself miserable isn’t going to change anything. You heard Jacob tonight. He wishes you two would get a divorce, and I think you do, too.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Because you’re here with me instead of at home with your wife,” you tell him softly.

Andy sighs before rubbing the back of his neck, “you’re annoyingly smart.”

“Yeah, Jacob says the same thing,” you smirk at him before resuming the movie.

“You know...you’re gonna find someone who’s gonna treat you right.”

“I’m not holding my breath,” you snort before finishing off your drink. “Do you want another?”

“Why don’t you think you’re gonna find a good man?”

“Do you want another drink?”

“Oh no, you don’t get rake me over the coals then decide you’re gonna shut down.”

“I’m not shutting down,” you mutter, reaching across him and grabbing his glass before getting up and grabbing your own and getting, making your way over to the island.

“Then what’s going on?”

“If I say it out loud, it’ll sound stupid and I don’t exactly want to feel stupid in front of you.”

“Why would it be stupid?”

“Andy.”

“Talk to me, honey.”

“I just...I know what people in this town think of me, okay? I don’t date guys my age, because they’re too immature for me. I don’t take the older guys I sleep with seriously, because I know they’re just looking for a good time. The few that I gave a fair shot to, got mad because I wasn’t some dumb young thing they could control. As long as I’m here, I’m never going to have anything real. That’s just...that’s how it is and it’s whatever. I fuck around from time to time and it gets me by.”

“Why did you think that would make you sound stupid?”

“Because I sound like a child.”

“Wanting to be loved doesn’t make you sound like a child. It makes you sound like a regular adult. A regular person. We all want to be loved.”

“Yeah well, you’re sweet.”

“I mean it, sweetheart. There’s nothing childish about wanting to be loved as you are, and for who you are. God knows you’ve more than earned it.”

“I just don’t like being vulnerable, you know that.”

“It’s me.”

“Especially with you.”

“What does that mean?”

“You can always see right through me and it just...sometimes, it feels like you know exactly what I’m thinking. I feel like...sometimes you know me better than Jacob.”

“You don’t like that?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“It’s getting late and you should go.”

“What did I do wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“No, you’re upset. What-”

“Andy, you didn’t do anything, honestly. I’m just...I wish there were more guys like you,” you smile softly. “Maybe then, I wouldn’t hate it here so much.”

“The feeling is mutual,” he quietly responds.

“We should call it a night. We both have work in the morning, Laurie’s already wondering where you are-”

“We were having a good night, and I feel like-”

“Don’t feel like anything, because you didn’t do anything wrong. I’m just in a weird head space.”

“Why do I always feel like I put you in a weird head space.”

“Andy-”

“Am I doing something wrong? Did I make you uncomfortable?”

“Andy, you do everything right, and that’s the problem. I shouldn’t feel like you’re the guy doing everything right. I shouldn’t feel as comfortable with you as I do,” you confess softly.

“Do you want me to go?”

“No, and that’s why you should,” you almost sniffle.

Andy lets out a sorrowful sigh, and in a way, that makes you feel worse. He’s fighting off the same thing you are. You both know that the intimacy you both crave isn’t right. It’s not so much sexual as it personal. You want him to hold you until you fall asleep, and he wants to. You want him to pepper your cheeks with soft and loving kisses, and you can tell that he’s dying to.

You’re dying for Andy to be yours and he wants nothing more than that.

For now? You’ll just blame the alcohol and pretend you won’t remember in the morning.

“Let me know when you’re home, okay?” you ask as you both stand by your door.

“We can just pretend-”

“No...no we can’t. Lets just stop while we’re ahead,” you smile weakly, ignoring the pain in your heart.

This is the right the thing to do.

Andy stands there with outstretched arms, and you’re more than happy to make your way over to him as he engulfs you in one of the best hugs hes ever given you.

“You’re better than all the rest,” he whispers into your hair before kissing it and letting go of you, opening the door, and walking out.

In that moment, you decide to let go of all of the fantasies you’ve ever had about Andy Barber. He isn’t yours (even if he does divorce Laurie), he’s Jacob’s father, and he’s never going to see you as you see him. If anything, you’d just be a welcomed distraction and a fun time. So, you start seeing him less and come up with excuses as to why he can’t come over. You miss him like crazy but what’s the point? Why torture yourself (or him) over something that can never happen?

Everything works out well enough until December.

“Okay, so ya know how I said you, me, and Sarah are gonna have a movie this Friday night?” Jacob asks from the speakers of your car asks as you drive home.

“Yeah?”

“Well, I completely forgot that, that night is the holiday party at my dad’s job. Which, I usually don’t care about, but he’s getting an award and I wanna be there for him.”

“Aww, that’s great, Jake,” you smile as you come to a stop light. “We’ll reschedule for another day-”

“Well, I want you to come cause I still want to hangout.”

“I don’t even want think about the cost of-”

“You don’t have to! My mom isn’t going and I ran it past my dad, and he’s fine with it!”

“Why isn’t your mom going?”

“Who knows,” he scowls “they’ve been arguing a lot more lately. I’m pretty sure I heard him throw out the word ‘divorce’ at least three times last night, and she was crying and begging him not to. I’m fairly sure hes been sleeping on the sofa.”

“How’s the apartment search going for you and Sarah?”

“On hold for the holidays, but we think we found a place we wanna move into by February.”

“Good, get the fuck out of that house.”

“I try not to think about it, anyway, will you come? Sarah is more than happy to go shopping with you for a dress.”

“Jacob.”

“Please?”

“When is it?”

“This Friday.”

“Jacob!”

“You usually have Saturdays off!”

“Does it really mean all that much to you?”

“Don’t make me feel like an asshole about this.”

“Oh, now you feel like an asshole?”

“Y/N-”

“I...I’ll go,” you sigh as you pull into the parking garage of your complex.

“Don’t make it sound like a death sentence.”

“You have to sit by him and I’ll sit on the other side of Sarah.”

“Why can’t you sit by him?”

“I’m not married to him, nor am I related to him, and he’s the DA. Me sitting by him won’t look good.”

“I didn’t think about that. Yeah, you’re right. I’ll sit by him, Sarah will sit by me, and you’ll sit by Sarah.”

“Lovely.”

“Y/N-”

“I just need to wash off today, it was shitty and I’m tired.”

“If you’re this upset about it-”

“I’m not, I’ll see you Friday and please let Sarah know that I’ll text her later about dress shopping later.”

“Y/N-”

“It’s just been a really long day, Jacob.”

“I love you.”

“And I love you. Talk to you later?”

“Sounds good,” he sighs before hanging up.

You turn off your car and think things over for a bit before deciding on something you probably shouldn’t have.

“Well, look who it is,” Andy scowls after answering his phone.

“Why isn’t Laurie going to the party?”

“We got into an argument, she doesn’t want to go, and I do.”

“Why doesn’t she want to go?”

“I want to see you.”

“Andy.”

“Why are you staying away?”

“You know why.”

“We haven’t done anything wrong.”

“Have you told Laurie where you’ve been spending your time?”

“Why does she need to know?”

“Andy-”

“I miss you, Y/N.”

You sigh in defeat and run a hand through your hair, “I miss you too.”

“Let me come over.”

“What did you two argue about?”

“Let me come over and I’ll tell you all about it.”

“Andy.”

“Y/N.”

“Two hours, that’s it. After two hours, you have to go home.”

“Two hours it is,” is all he says before hanging up.

You don’t know why you have butterflies in your stomach as you make your way inside of the building and up to your apartment, but you can’t shake them. You’re not going to do anything (you never do anything with him). Simply being alone with him sets your body alight with passion and excitement.

You’re quick to change: the big, black, knitted wool sweater he seems to like you in and a pair of gray sweatpants. You hurry into the kitchen, grabbing one of the bigger wine glasses and filling it. You know you should’ve told him one hour instead of two, but you really do miss him. You miss him so fucking much.

You get halfway through the glass when you hear him knock on your.

“You should turn on the heater,” he says after you open the door, stepping aside to let him in.

“I did just get home from work,” you mutter, quickly closing the door.

“Yet you changed and have a full glass of wine.”

“Priorities,” you shrug.

“You’re gonna catch a cold,” he scolds as he makes his way over to the thermostat.

“Germs get you sick, not the cold.”

“Why the attitude?”

“Why isn’t Laurie going to the party?”

“Why do you need to know?”

“Why don’t you want to tell me?”

“Because you’ll get mad and I don’t want that.”

“Jacob said you threw around the word ‘divorce’ a few times.”

“That I did,”Andy sighs as he finally takes off his coat, leaving it on the coat rack he bought you as house warming gift, before making his way to the kitchen and making himself a drink.

“She won’t agree?”

“Nope.”

“Andy-”

“I don’t like not seeing you, Y/N.”

“You didn’t come over here for this, don’t start that shit,” you sigh, quickly regretting your decision to agree to see him.

“Why are you avoiding me?”

“You don’t wanna tell me about your argument with Laurie, I don’t wanna talk about this,” you shrug.

“Why are you arguing with me right now?!”

“Because you’re annoying, Andy!”

“I’m annoy-you’re annoying!”

“Then why are you here?!”

“Because I miss you!” he snaps, slamming his glass down.

You take a deep breath before finishing off your glass and making your way to your to kitchen and pouring yourself another glass. “Why isn’t she going to the party?”

“Will you just stop it? You miss me too.”

“Yeah well, I fucking shouldn’t.”

“Why not? We’re just friends-”

“Andy, just because I’m the younger one doesn’t mean I’m naive enough to be believe-”

“Don’t. Don’t you dare. You know I would never try to belittle you or think less of you because you’re younger. That’s not fair.”

“Then why-”

“Because I know what can’t happen. You’re Jacob’s best friend and I know that what people think of you still bothers you. I wouldn’t ever do anything to make your life harder, especially while I’m still married. I would never ask that of you. So, we’re just friends. All we can be is just friends,” he finishes with a frustrated sigh.

You’re ready to tell him that he can do whatever he wants to with you, when your phone goes off.

You scowl in irritation (even though you know it’s for the best) as quickly make your way to the bedroom and answer your phone. “Hello?”

“We’re going dress shopping!!” Sarah squeals and you can’t stop yourself from laughing a little.

“That we are.”

“We never go shopping together, I’m so excited! What time should I pick you up tomorrow?”

“You don’t have to pick me-”

“Oh no, we’re making a day of this! Call in sick and then I’ll pick you up and we’ll spend the day shopping!”

“You are way too excited about this.”

“It’s gonna be so much fun! I feel like we haven’t spent a day together in so long!”

“I’ll text my boss tonight and tell him I feel like shit. He’s got a crush on me anyway, so I’m pretty sure I can get my way for a while.”

“Ah! This is perfect! Oh! Lets do brunch! I’ll pick you up at 12:30 and we’ll brunch first, then shop!”

“Sounds like a plan,” you laugh.

“Ugh, I can’t wait! This is gonna be so much fun! I’ll text you later, okay?”

“Sounds good, see you tomorrow?”

“Fuck yeah!” she squeals before hanging up.

You laugh to yourself before shaking your head. What the hell did you get yourself into?

“Wanna watch a movie with me?” Andy asks as you make your way out of your bedroom.

“We don’t have enough time for a movie.”

“Just stop. There’s no fucking time limit on this.”

“There should be.”

“Y/N-”

“Andy this isn’t right and you know it.”

“I miss watching movies with my best friend.”

“Laurie should be your best friend.”

“But she isn’t, not anymore,” he states softly, meeting you intense gaze. “Lets order dinner and watch a movie. I’m not going to do anything and you’re too good of a person to do anything. Lets just get sushi and enjoy the night.”

“You’re paying for the sushi,” you mutter, making your way to your little living area.

“Sounds like a plan,” he laughs softly, following right behind.

As you text your boss a bullshit excuse as to why you won’t be in tomorrow, you tell yourself that your Andy Barber fantasy is over, but it’s just a lie. Andy just basically admitted that he feels the same for you as you do for him, and it only makes you want him more. After you two finish dinner, he lets you choose the movie for the night, and you decide on ‘Breakfast at Tiffany’s’ without hesitation.

One of your favorite movies.

You don’t know if it’s because of how much wine you’ve had, or how tired you are, but you find yourself cuddling up against him and not pulling away when he wraps his arms around you. You want, more than anything, to stay this way forever. Every so often, he presses soft kisses into your hair. and want so badly for him to kiss you everywhere else.

You’ve never felt so happy and safe and, at some point, you drift off .

“What’s happening?” you question lazily as you feel yourself almost floating, curling into Andy.

“It’s time for bed,” Andy chuckles softly.

“I don’t wanna go to bed.”

“Then you shouldn’t have gone to sleep.”

“Are you staying?”

“You know I can’t,” Andy sighs as he rests you down on the bed.

“I want you to,” you fuss as you get comfortable under the sheets.

“Don’t be difficult.”

“Then stay here.”

“You know I can’t,” he repeats as he gets off the bed.

“At least until I fall asleep?”

“I’d stay forever, if I could,” he tells you softly as he gets in next to you.

You turn over and hold him tight as you lay your head on his chest.

“Thank you,” you tell him softly as you quickly fall back into a state of unconsciousness.

“Anything for you,” he tells you softly, kissing the top of your head as he strokes your back softly. “I would do absolutely anything for you.”

When you wake up, you’re alone and somewhat heartbroken, and that irritates you. You already knew he wasn’t going to stay, and you know you can never be with the man, so why do you keep letting yourself fall for him more and more? Even if Andy was single, he’d still be Jacob’s dad. Jacob would never be okay with it, and you would never ask him to be.

You need to get over him.

“Hey, what’s up with you today, hun?” Sarah asks, pulling you out of your thoughts.

“Hmm?”

“You’ve been a million miles away since I picked you up,” she laughs. “You’ve barely touched your mimosa.”

“I just have a lot on my mind,” you laugh awkwardly before taking a sip.

“Care to share with the class?”

It sucks that your only other friend is your best friend’s girlfriend.

“You can’t say anything to Jacob,” you all but whisper.

“I won’t say a word.”

“I mean it, Sarah. You have to promise me.”

“I promise, Y/N. What’s wrong?”

“I...uh...I uh, think...I know I have a thing for And- I mean, Mr. Barber,” you quickly correct before downing the rest of your drink.

“Oh no.”

“Listen, I know nothing can ever happen, I’m not dumb, but I just...I don’t know, Sarah. We just bonded the day he helped me move into my place, along with Jacob. It started with just texting every so often, then phone calls at night, and then he started coming over. Nothing has happened, but...what the fuck is wrong with Laurie? How could she cheat on him?!”

“I’m sorry, come again?”

“Fuck, don’t tell Jacob!” you groan as the waiter comes over.

“Are you two ready to put in an order for food?” he kindly asks.

“Uh no, but we will take two more pitchers of mimosas as well as two pitchers of Merlot,” Sarah smiles at the man as you face palm yourself.

“Will do,” the man smiles awkwardly before walking away.

“We have to find me a dress, still.”

“Oh, we’ll find you a damn dress alright. Now what happened?”

“Some time after the trial, Laurie was still having reservations about everything, and she cheated on him. He said that she cried to him about it at 2am a few weeks later, and that’s when things really started going even more downhill. He doesn’t want Jacob to know because he thinks it’ll make everything worse.”

“It definitely will, but Jacob isn’t a child. He has a right to know.”

“Sarah.”

“I know I know, but it’s frustrating.”

“Imagine how I feel,” you smile sarcastically as the drinks are delivered. “So, anyway, I knew that I was starting to become too attached, so I’ve been seeing him less. Now, there’s this fucking party tomorrow and I don’t want to go, because...ugh, when Jacob called and told me yesterday, he said Laurie wasn’t going because they got into an argument. He said Andy threw around the word ‘divorce’ a few times, and I just...what the fuck am I supposed to do? So, I called Andy and asked him what it was about and all he kept saying is that he wanted to see me. He said he’d tell me if I let him come over, so I finally agreed.”

“Well, did he hint at what the argument was about?”

“He never told me. We ordered sushi and watched ‘Breakfast at Tiffanys’,” you sigh.

“Fuck.”

“I told him that we have to stop, because it’s wrong, and he said that he knows we can’t do anything, because I’m Jacob’s best friend and he knows that it still bothers me that everyone in this shit hole thinks so little of me. He also said he’d never ask anything of me while he’s still married.”

“Which means, if you had a different best friend...”

“So, that’s been running through my mind all day.”

“Well...shit.”

“What makes it worse is that this is exactly why Laurie didn’t want me around him-”

“Fuck Laurie, I’m sorry but that was bullshit. You didn’t hit on Mr. Matthews, and she fucking knew that. She made you feel like shit because of her own insecurities.”

“Be that as it may, she was afraid of me stealing him and now look.”

“I mean, it’s not like he wants to stay in the relationship. I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve gone to that house and have heard them arguing. He usually gets fed up and storms out, and will stay out for hours.”

“I’m trying to do the right thing.”

“But you both want to be together.”

“He’s married, Sarah. Everyone here already thinks I’m man stealing whore, I don’t need to actually prove them right.”

“Fuck this town and the people in it. Mr. Matthews wasn’t even all that great, and you were a kid. They should’ve fucking stood beside you. This town is really good at blaming the wrong fucking people.”

“Speaking of that, there’s Jacob.”

“He’ll get over it.”

“He won’t like it. I’m younger than him!”

“Only by a few months! Listen, he’ll throw his little hissy fit, then he’ll be happy, cause both you and Andy will be happy.”

“You’re surprisingly happy about this.”

“I mean, I can see it. It doesn’t seem too far fetched to me, the more I think about it. You two are more alike than I ever thought.”

“You’re supposed to be telling me to stay away from him.”

“Probably, but it seems like a stupid thing to say. I’m not telling you to sleep with a married man, but it’s not even like he wants to be married anymore. Jacob told me that shes been begging him to go to marriage counseling, and he doesn’t want to. He’s over trying.”

“Even if he does leave her, which I really don’t believe he’ll do, what-”

“Why don’t you believe he will?”

“He’s in denial about it and why wouldn’t he be? They’ve been together for so long.”

“Babe, everyone can see that time is running out on that marriage. Jacob said he seemed pretty adamant about that divorce last night.”

“I’m not holding my breath. I don’t know, I just...I don’t know. What if Jacob thinks I’m the reason Andy is pushing so hard for this divorce?”

“So what if you are? You two haven’t actually done anything, have you?”

“I mean, we cuddled last night and he held me until I fell asleep, only because I asked him to though. He kissed the top of my head a few times.”

“Oh, you two are desperate for each other,” she giggles before taking a giant swig of her drink. “I see where Jacob gets it from.”

“Huh?”

“Before Jacob and I started having sex, he was always afraid that he was moving too fast and that he was gonna scare me off. After everything that happened, he was afraid sex would scare me off,” she scoffed before rolling her eyes. “Anyway, that was his way of showing me that he’s ready when I’m ready. Longing stares, holding me close, kissing the top of my head or my temple, just little ways to show that he’s ready to take the next step but that there’s no pressure.”

“I don’t think that’s what Andy’s doing. We were both just sad. He misses me and I miss him.”

“He told you that?”

“He said he misses watching movies with his best friend. When I told him that Laurie should be his best friend, he said she isn’t anymore.”

“Well, what are you gonna do?”

“The only thing I can do, stay away and mind my business. I won’t be the reason for their divorce.”

“Hate to break it to you, honey, but there’s no avoiding that at this point. Andy Barber has a thing for you, and he’s not getting over you any time soon,” she smirks softly before grabbing her drink

As the day goes on, and you two get drunker, her words roll around in your head.

Does Andy really have a thing for you, or is he just sad and looking for someone to make him feel better? Is it really all that wrong to explore since he’s trying to get out of his marriage anyway? If you ever decided that it was something you wanted to try and explore, would Jacob actually ever get over it, or would he hate you forever?

The more you think about it, the more annoyed you are. Why are you setting yourself up? You can’t ever be with him, so why does it even matter? None of it should matter.

“You have to pick on a dress,” Sarah slurs as you two clumsily make your way around the store.

“Everything feels inappropriate.”

“Well, if you’re not going to reel him in, you can at least reel someone in for the night,” she smirks at you and you let out a loud laugh.

“You’re a terrible influence!”

“I just want you to be happy,” she smirks with a shrug before her eyes land on a dress. “You have to try this on!! You’ll look so good!”

“Sarah! No!I can’t-”

“Why not? Make him fight harder for that divorce.”

“No!”

“You know you like it! Try it on!”

“Sarah-”

“Try it on,” she repeats, giving you the dress.

You begrudgingly take the dress and make your way to one of the fitting rooms, quickly undressing and pulling the dress on. The fact that it fits you like a glove only irritates you more, because you really do love it. However, you don’t want to wear it in front of Andy.

“Well, come on, lets see it!” Sarah calls from the other side of the door.

You scowl as you make your way out. “Don’t say anything-”

“He’s gonna have a hard time keeping his hands off of you,” she snickers as she looks you over “you look amazing.”

“I shouldn’t wear this-”

“The damage is already done, you may as well enjoy it,” she shrugs.

“I forgot how much of a trouble maker drunk you is.”

“I live for the chaos, baby,” she smirks and you burst out laughing.

At some point, Sarah calls Jacob and asks him to pick the both of you up. You know you shouldn’t, but you feel so guilty when he pulls up outside of the store. You haven’t done anything with Andy, so you don’t know why you feel like you’ve betrayed Jacob.

“Why are you so quiet back there?” Jacob smirks as he looks up at you from the rear view mirror.

“Words are hard,” you mumble as you gaze out the window.

“Bullshit, you haven’t been yourself in weeks. What’s going on with you?”

“Leave her alone,” Sarah snaps with a slur.

“Why do you get to know and I don’t?”

“Because I’m a lady and boys have cooties,” she says matter-of-factly, with a s smirk while Jacob laughs.

“Fine fine, what time should we pick you up tomorrow?” Jacob asks as pulls up to your complex.

“You don’t have to-”

“It makes more sense for us all to go together. I promise we won’t stay too long. I think my dad is just looking for a reason to get out of the house, honestly.”

“Does your mom knowing I’m going?”

“I don’t know, probably. They had another one of their famous mind numbing arguments, so who knows. He kinda stormed out last night and didn’t come back till late, and I haven’t seen him yet today. I’ll just tell her when I get home, no big deal,” he shrugs and you feel a pang of guilt.

Another painful reminder that Andy Barber is off limits.

“I’ll text you when I get home from work tomorrow, and we can choose a time then. For now, I need to lay down,” you sigh as you grab the big black garment bag that contains your dress, before opening your door and getting out. “Jacob, thank you for picking us up, and Sarah, thank you for getting me entirely too drunk,” you smirk as they both laugh. “I love you both, please be careful.”

“Yes mom,” Jacobs scowls and you flip him off, before stepping back and he pulls off.

The minute you get into your apartment, you hang the garment bag up on the coat rack, followed by your coat, before toeing off your shoes. You know you shouldn’t but you go into the kitchen and make yourself a drink, just wanting to be numb.

You’re in the middle of searching for the menu to your (and Andy’s) favorite Chinese place, when the your phone starts going off.

“Hmm?” you answer lazily, still looking for the menu.

“What color is the dress you got?” Andy asks and you roll your eyes.

“Go away.”

“No.”

“Andy.”

“Hmm?”

“Don’t start this shit.”

“You can always hangup.”

“We both know I won’t. Plus, I’m drunk and am in no mood to be responsible one right now.”

“It’s 4:30 and you’re drunk?”

“Sarah and I had a talk during brunch that we both needed to be drunk for.”

“What was it about?”

“Don’t you worry about that.”

“Ya know, for a while, you told me everything.”

“Yeah well, you and Jacob can pout about it together, because I didn’t tell him either.”

“Ah, you and Sarah had a talk about you and me.”

“There is no you and me,” you huff, finally finding the menu and ignoring the pain you feel in your heart at what you just said.

“I’m trying to get her to sign the papers-”

“What does that mean to me? It doesn’t change the fact that you’re still Jacob’s dad. We just talked about this last night,” you sniffle as you put your glass down and wipe your eyes.

Fucking alcohol.

“Please don’t cry, sweetheart,” he begs softly. “Listen, if it’s making you this upset, don’t come tomorrow night-”

“That’s not an option because Jacob is really fucking excited. Also, I just got a dress just for this.”

“I’m sorry I’m so selfish.”

“It’s not like I’m not either.”

“There’s not a selfish bone in your body,” Andy sighs and you can tell he’s at war with himself. “Should I tell Jacob to go over?”

“No, because I’m not gonna tell him why I’m crying and he’s already worried about me, because he can tell something’s wrong.”

“Sarah?”

“She’s just as drunk as me. It’ll be like the blind leading the blind.”

“Well who? You know I don’t like leaving you alone when you’re upset. Especially, when you’re crying.”

“You don’t like to leave me alone at all.”

“That’s true,” he chuckles softly and a small smile comes to your face.

You could listen to him chuckle and laugh all day.

“You don’t have to worry about me, Andy.”

“It’s not like I can stop it. It’s not like I haven’t tried to stop it.”

“You have work to do.”

“I’m done.”

“Then go home.”

“Laurie’s home so I’d rather not.”

“Then what are you gonna do?”

“Sit in my office.”

“You can’t do that, Andy.”

“It’s my office, I can do whatever I want,” his says with a little smart-ass tone, and you can tell he’s grinning.

“I don’t like the thought of you sitting all alone in your office.”

“Well, I don’t like the thought of you sitting all alone in your apartment.”

“What are you gonna do for food?”

“Order Chinese food and have it delivered here.”

“Just come over,” you mumble in defeat.

“You just said-”

“We’re both about to order Chinese food, and I’m more than sure we’re about to get it from the same damn place. Just...just come over.”

“Sweetheart-”

“This is...it’s the last time. After this, we can’t do any of this anymore. We’re just making the wound worse, and it’s not fair to either of us. So, I’ll put in the order-”

“I can put in the order and pick it up.”

“I already have the menu out and I know what we both want. Just get over here.”

“Yes ma’am,” he laughs softly.

You quickly call the Chinese place and order 2 containers of dumplings (fried) for you both to split, a sushi platter that consisted of a dragon roll, Alaska roll, a tempura roll, and a kani roll, an order of the house special lo mein for Andy, an order of Singapore mei fun for yourself, and an order of two egg rolls for the both of you.

If it’s going to be the last hangout, you may as well make the most of it.

Finally, you go into your room and change out of your clothes, pulling on a pair of Boston University sweatpants and a ‘Rolling Stones’ t-shirt, before putting your hair up in a messy bun. After pulling on your fuzzy socks, you make your way into the kitchen and grab a glass, putting in only one ice cube before pouring some bourbon in it.

As if perfectly timed, there’s a soft knock on your door, and a small smile comes to your face.

“You didn’t waste any time, did you?” you giggle as you open the door and step aside, holding out the glass you made for him.

“Wanna get in as much time as I can since this is the last time,” Andy sighs as he takes the glass out of your hand and makes his way inside.

“You know I’m right, Andy.”

“That doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

“Lets just enjoy the night, okay?” you scowl as you make your way into the living room and grabbing your drink.

“Why are you still drinking?”

“Because it’s been a long fucking day, Andrew.”

“Well, when you say my name like that,” he smirks as he makes his way over to you, and wraps his arms around you. “How’d you sleep?”

“Shitty. You?”

“Shitty.”

“Sofa again?”

“Of course you know about that.”

“Jacob tells me everything, you know that.”

“So why-”

“So why won’t she sign the papers?”

“Ask her.”

“I’m asking you.”

“Honey, I don’t know. I don’t have a single fucking clue,” he glowers as someone knocks on the door and announces ‘delivery’.

Before you even have a chance to move, Andy’s pulling out his wallet and making his way over to your apartment door. He pays the person, takes the food into the kitchen and grabs a couple of plates for you both, before finally bringing everything into your little living area.

“You didn’t have to pay.”

“You ordered it, the least I can do is pay for it. However,” he laughs as he takes a seat next to you “I wasn’t aware that you were gonna order the entire menu.”

“Only of all our favorite things. Figured we’d make the most of the night.”

“And you’re drunk.”

“Both can be true,” you tease before sticking out your tongue, and he laughs softly.

You’re both about to start opening up the food when there’s a knock on your door. Both you and Andy look at each other with a raised eyebrow before you answer.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s uh...it’s Mrs. Barber,” she responds softly.

Andy is up before you can look in his direction, grabbing all of the food, plates, his drink, and placing them all in your bedroom, before coming back out and grabbing his coat off of the coat rack and disappearing into your bedroom.

The man is efficient.

You try to calm your nerves as you slowly make your over to the door, suddenly feeling a bit more sober than you were before. “Hey,” you smile as you slowly open the door, realizing that she’s never seen your place...and that you’ve never been alone with her.

“I just realized I’m the only Barber who hasn’t seen this place,” she smiles awkwardly as she makes her way inside.

“That’s right, Mr. Barber helped us move everything in,”

“I know you were out with Sarah-”

“How is she?”

“She’s fine, sleeping it off in Jacob’s room,” she chuckles before anxiously rubbing the back of her neck. “You’re always so thoughtful and that makes me...”

“Mrs. Barber-”

“You can call me Laurie. You should. I honestly shouldn’t even be here, but I do want to tell you that the place looks great,” she mutters awkwardly as she looks around.

“Well, thank you, but-”

“Before I say anything else, I want to apologize. I know you heard what I said few years ago and you didn’t deserve that. It’s not that I have an issue with you, you’ve been nothing but great to Jacob. You don’t know how happy it makes me that both Sarah and him have you in your life, but...”

“You don’t like me around Mr. Barber.”

“I know you’ve done nothing to warrant it, but I know how you are-and there’s nothing wrong with that !” she quickly defends when you quietly scoff. “You’re young and gorgeous, and you should have fun while you’re young, before you start the next chapter of your life. Hell, sometimes I’m jealous because I never got to explore that part of myself. I fell in love and became a mother young, and that’s...I’m paying the price for it now,” she smiles weakly. “The thing is, Jacob and his father are more alike that people tend to realize-”

“Jacob’s never had a thing for me.”

“I hear the conversations you two have, the debates, your taste in music and movies, hell, you two have the same favorite Chinese place,” she laughs incredulously. “No, you’re not Jacob’s type, but you’re definitely Andy’s. I know Jacob tells you everything, so I know that you know that things are a bit rocky right now. I have no one to blame but myself, but I’m trying to fix everything and I can’t...I can’t do that with you in the picture.”

“So, do you just want me to stay away all together?” you sniffle, doing your best to hold back your tears.

“I’m fine...I’m fine with you being friends with Jacob. He needs you in his life and we need you in his life. I just...I know you’re going to the party tomorrow and that’s fine. Jacob’s excited and you bought the dress today...it’s fine. However, after this-”

“Stay away from Mr. Barber,” you nod with a soft smile.

“I know-”

“I’ve never done anything to you, Laurie. Even after you said what you said, I didn’t yell, I didn’t tell Jacob, and I didn’t make you feel like shit. I kept it to myself.”

“Y/N-”

“I just want you to keep that in mind the next time you decide to think little of me. I will steer clear of you and your husband, you don’t need to worry about me,” you smile softly.

Laurie says nothing. She just stands there and nods before slowly making her way out. The second the door closes, your bedroom door opens.

“She had no fucking right!” Andy all but yells as he storms out.

“Andy stop, she can probably still here you.”

“Good-”

“There’s no sense in making it worse,” you sob, finally letting your tears fall.

“Oh honey,” he sighs, making his way over to and wrapping his arms around you in a tight hug. “You’ve done nothing-”

“No matter what I do, she’s always just going to think of me as some home wrecking whore. It doesn’t matter that I never did anything wrong. It’s never going to matter.”

“Stop it. You are a fucking saint, Y/N. You haven’t done a thing wrong, and you’re probably the most selfless person I know. Let’s just...let’s enjoy our dinner, okay?”

“Andy-”

“You have no reason to feel bad, you’ve done nothing wrong. Between the two of us, I’m the guilty one. Lets just enjoy dinner, okay?”

“Okay.”

Andy does his best to cheer you up as he brings the food back out, and puts on a movie you love, but even he can tell that you’re a million miles away.

“Y/N-”

“She’s always going to think less of me,” you sniffle as you throw your container of food down. “What’s the point of me trying to do the right thing, if this is how it’s always going to be? What’s the fucking point?”

“Honey, I know it’s easier said than done, but just ignore Laurie. You’ve seen enough and you know enough, to know that no one can do right by her. Especially because she’s incapable of holding herself accountable for anything.”

“If she’s just going to act like this, I don’t see why we don’t...” you trail off.

“Why we don’t what?”

“Nothing, just forget I said anything.”

“Y/N-”

“Andy, please don’t,” you smile weakly.

Andy’s only response is letting out a deep sigh before pulling you close and holding you tight. You settle up against him and take in his scent and his warmth, knowing you’ll never have a moment like this with him again. As he gently kisses the top of your head, you find yourself drifting off to sleep and wondering what it would be like to have all of affection.

You wonder what it would be like to have all of his heart.

When your alarm wakes you up the next day, you’re in bed alone and under the covers. You feel anger towards yourself as your eyes start to water, for not staying awake longer. The last night you got to spend with him and you fell asleep almost immediately after dinner. You wanted nothing more than to just stay in his embrace and hear his voice as much as possible. You were robbed of full night with your most favorite person, and you have no one to blame for it but yourself.

You try and get yourself out of your funk as you get ready for work, but you just feel empty and lonely. What you’re doing is for the best, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. By the time you arrive at work, you’ve cried and have had to reapply makeup twice.

You can’t wait to get to the part where this doesn’t feel like the hardest thing you’ve ever done.

“Oh, that’s not a face that looks ready for the holidays,” your boss smirks as he makes his way over to your desk, and you fight the urge to roll your eyes.

“How may I help you, Mr. Hathaway?” you smile the best you can as he leans against your desk.

“I’ve told you at least a hundred times, call me Thomas.”

“And I’ve told you that I’m not comfortable doing that. It’s unprofessional.”

“Maybe I want us to be unprofessional,” he smirks suggestively.

You take a deep breath before putting your pen down and look up to meet his sultry gaze, “how may I help you, Mr. Hathaway?”

“Go out with me tonight.”

“No thank you.”

“Why not?”

“Besides the fact that you’re my boss and it would be unprofessional, and that I don’t want to, I have plans tonight.”

“Oh? And what are you up to?”

“A party.”

“A party that you can’t bring a friend to?”

“It’s not that type of party, plus it’s not my party.”

“Well, make sure to let your friend know I’m offended.”

“I will make sure to let the DA know you’re offended,” you scoff without thinking.

“Oh?”

“I’m best friends with his son and Jacob invited me. No more and no less. District Attorney Barber is happily married.”

“I guess I’ll just have to try again another time,” he shrugs with a mournful sigh. “I’m not a man who gives up easily,” he winks before getting up and walking away.

It takes all of your energy not to let out a frustrated sigh and slam your hand down on your desk, but you remember how much you make and that you have bills. You grab your phone and instantly start to text Andy, before remembering that you have to stop going to him about everything. You want to tell Jacob, but you know he’ll just rip his head off. Telling Sarah is basically the same the thing as telling Jacob, so you just throw your phone back into your drawer and let out frustrated sigh and fight back tears.

It hasn’t even been a full day, and you miss the fuck out of Andrew Steven Barber.

Andy’s P.O.V

“Andy, did you hear me?” Lynn asks as she shakes me out of my thoughts.

“I’m sorry, I’m here. What’s going on?”

“Tonight, for the award-”

“Oh yeah, no, that’s completely taken care of. Jacob is going to present it since Laurie isn’t coming.”

“Is everything okay there?”

“Not really, no, but you’ve known that for a while,” I smile weakly as I take off my glasses and look up at her.

“Andy, if this is anything I did-”

“Laurie was Laurie long before anything happened with Jacob. The cracks were always there, we both just decided to pretend they weren’t. We were never supposed to end up together.”

“Andy-”

“It’s fine, Lynn. Sometimes things just don’t work out.”

“Andy, its not that work hasn’t been amazing as always, but you just seem far away. You’ve been going non-stop for a few years now, and it’s understandable if you want a break-”

“I’m fine, Lynn. I’m just tired of fighting her on this divorce. I’m tired of a lot of things. Work keeps me going and that’s what I need right now.”

“Andy-”

“Jacob is graduating soon and he’s gonna propose to Sarah this upcoming Summer. Probably his birthday, cause their anniversary isn’t until Fall. I need something to keep me going, Lynn.”

“Just...just let me know if you need time, okay?”

“Will do,” I tell her reassuringly as she gives me a small smile.

As she walks out, I can’t help but think of you. All I want is you. Every time I have to leave you, it’s the hardest thing in the fucking world. Now, I don’t even get to leave you, and for what? What’s the reason for two adults not being together? One way or another, I’m leaving Laurie, so that just leaves Jacob. I’m putting my happiness on hold for my son, who is moving out and getting married soon anyway?

I owe him that though. I owe him and I owe you.

You’ve been through so much already and you don’t need anymore shit messing up your life. You don’t need me messing up your life. This town is so fucking stupid for not even trying to understand what a beautiful soul you are. You’re courageous, funny, charismatic, caring, generous, thoughtful, and...

And what am I doing?

I can’t fall for you. We can never happen, so I need to get over whatever the hell is going on in my head. This isn’t serious, I’m just upset. I’m hurt and you’re a more than welcomed distraction.

Except you aren’t.

You are so much more than that. When I’m around you, I feel like I can finally breathe again. Your smile lights up my heart and when you laugh, I swear it’s a melody God composed just for me. Holding you has now become an all consuming addiction for me and I don’t known how the hell I’m supposed to survive without it now.

How the hell I’m supposed to survive without you.

Everything about you is everything that I love. It’s insane ton me that no one sees all the love you have inside, and all the kindness you hold in your heart, and it infuriates me that people let you down at every turn. I don’t want to be another selfish asshole to let you down though, so if you saying that we need to stop seeing each is for the best....

I run a frustrated hand through my hair and let out an exasperated sigh, as I take out my phone and look for the one video that always makes me smile when I’m fed up and overwhelmed.

“Andy! I know how to drive!” you laughed as you slowly turn the corner.

“There’s no one on the road and you’re driving at the speed of ‘no’.”

“Your car is nice! I don’t wanna damage it!”

“You’re not gonna damage my car at 2am! If you were this nervous about it, why did you offer to drive it?”

“Cause it’s a really nice car and I really wanted to drive it,” you told me innocently as I burst out laughing. “Besides, you’re the one who wanted to go out at 2 in the morning for ice cream!”

“I had a hankering,” I shrugged as you started laughing again.

“And you couldn’t bother Jacob because....?”

“He’s a terrible conversationalist this late, especially when you first wake him up.”

“That’s a painfully good point,” you giggled as you came to a complete stop.

“The ice cream is right there! Why are you stopping?!”

“Cause there’s a fucking stop sign! It’s the law! You of all people should know that!”

“I’m not a fucking cop!”

“You’re just as good as one!”

“You’re insane, did you know that?”

“Why are you recording me anyway?”

“So, that the next time you tell me you’re a perfectly capable driver, I can pull up the this video and show you that you are not,” I snickered.

You deadpan and turned towards me, before flipping me off, and there was no way to stop the full bodied laugh that left my body.

“I am a capable driver! We got here in one piece, didn’t we?” you laughed as you finally pulled into the parking lot.

“Sweetheart, we left your place at 2 and we’re just getting here at 2:20.”

“So?”

“It’s a 10 minute drive!”

“It’s a 24 hour ice cream shop!”

“Thank God, or else I’d be fucked.”

“Oh fuck off,” you laughed as turned the car off.

That was the best night I’d had in a while and it made me realize a lot of things. Things that felt guilty for...things I still feel guilty for. I had more of a connection with my best friend’s son than I ever had with my own wife, and I had only known you for...2 months? How fucking pathetic is that?

We sat on the hood of my car that night, eating ice cream and talking until the sun came up. We were both so open and vulnerable with each other and that’s when I started that things were different. I wanted to change so many things after that night, but it was out of my control. All of this has felt out of my control and I can’t change that, can I?

I can’t stop myself from loving you, believe me, I fucking tried.

Before we left, you took a selfie of us as the sun was coming up, and it’s my favorite photo ever. Your smile is so big and genuine and I’d never felt so content in my life.

Ugh, what the fuck am I doing? I can’t do this to you. I can’t put you through more hell. That’s not love, but holy fuck do I wish you feel my love for you. Feel it and know just how great and deep it is.

As I look at the photo of us, I know what I have to do tonight. No, I don’t like it one bit and it’ll hurt like a mother fucker, but what else can i do? Staying away is in your best interest, and I’ll do anything to keep you happy. Happy and safe.

How else am I supposed to show you just how much I love you?

Y/N’s P.O.V

“I’m sure you look amazing!” Sarah sighs from your phone as you finish up a few last minute touches on your hair.

“I should have gotten a different dress,” you mutter as you look yourself over in the mirror. “My shoes are all wrong.”

“Stop it, no they aren’t. If it makes you feel any better, Mr. Barber seems to be just as anxious as you are.”

“He’s getting an award tonight.”

“Yeah okay, we’ll blame it on that. That makes sense,” she scoffs. “Listen, we’re gonna be leaving soon, so just clam down. I’m sure you look beautiful and we’re all gonna have a great time tonight. Just take a deep breath and we’ll see you soon, okay?”

“Sounds good,” you sigh before hanging up.

You know that everything is fine, but the thought of seeing Andy after everything that happened last night, it’s just too much. You know you can always say that you just don’t want to go, but you also can’t. Not when it’s this close and not when you’re so desperate to see Andy. Even if you can’t hold him, you can still hear his voice, and that’s better than nothing.You start pacing around in your apartment, trying to relax and telling yourself it’ll be okay. For fucks sake, you’re going to be in public with the man. If neither of you would act on anything private, there’s no way anything is gonna happen in public.

But still. The thought alone of just seeing Andy makes your whole body hot, and feel insanely alive all at once. Plus, you know Andy is going to look amazing, because he always does. How you’re supposed to be out with all of them tonight and not think some of the thoughts that you’ve been thinking lately is beyond you.

There’s also the fact that it’s just Andy. Andrew Steven Barber. In such a fast amount of time, he’s become the center of your world. You want to keep him safe, happy, laughing, and...

Well, you want him to feel loved.

Whether it’s late night drives, late night phone calls, movie nights, listening to him vent, holding him while you two sit in silence, or just indulging in his favorite movies when he’s frustrated...you want him to know that he’s so insanely loved.

That he’s insanely loved by you.

You can’t love him though. You’re not supposed to. He has been off limits since the day you met, even before then. Maybe it would be different if you two would have met when you were younger, but Laurie made sure that didn’t happen. No, when you finally met Andy, you were both adults and all of the rules that should’ve been in place went out the damn window.

Now, you’re just a woman with a broken heart, in love with a man that can never be yours.

Your phone buzzing pulls you out of your thoughts, and you take a deep breath before looking at it.

The Dark Lord: We’re here!

You look yourself over in the mirror one more time, making sure your grandmother’s blue, rhinestone encrusted butterfly pins are set perfectly, before grabbing your coat and purse, and slowly make your way out.

“Your hair looks amazing!” Sarah beams as you get in the backseat of Andy’s Audi.

“It’s alright.”

“No, it looks so good! I love it so much!”

“It really does look great,” Jacob smiles as he turns to look at you from the front seat.

“And you all haven’t even seen my outfit,” you laugh nervously as you close the door behind you. “Thanks for the ride, Mr. Barber.”

“Thanks for coming,” he smiles as your from rear view mirror, “your hair really does look nice.”

“Thanks, yours doesn’t look so bad yourself,” you smile softly as you put on your seat belt. “Excited for your award tonight?”

“I have a feeling that it’s out of pity, so no,” he scoffs as he pulls off.

“Dad, you’ve worked hard your entire career,” Jacob encourages “you deserve this.”

“It would be a lot easier to believe if-”

“Mr. Barber,” you interrupt softly “you’ve dedicated your life to your career. I don’t know what the award is for, but I know you deserve it. The work you do always finds a way to show its reflection of yourself in life.”

“That’s funny,” Jacob chuckles “my dad always says that.”

Sarah gently squeezes your hand and gives you a sad but reassuring look.

You’re in for a long night.

“You haven’t danced all night!” Sarah whines as another song she loves comes on.

“Go dance with your boyfriend,” you snort as you take another sip of your whiskey neat.

“Are you going to be a sour puss the entire night?”

“Sarah, since I’ve taken my coat off, I have been hit on nonstop. The last thing I want is to go out on the floor and make it worse for myself. I should’ve gotten another dress,” you sigh, contemplating finishing off your drink completely.

“Okay, what happened?” she asks sincerely, taking a seat next to you “you weren’t completely defeated last night and now-”

“Laurie came over last night, while Andy was hiding in my bedroom-nothing happened,” you quickly explain once you see the look on Sarah’s face. “We were about to have dinner when Laurie came by, and Andy ran into my room to hide. Anyway, she came over and said...she said some things,” you scowl before downing the rest of drink, quickly standing up and grabbing another drink for both you and Sarah, as a waiter with full tray walks by.

“What things?” Sarah all but growls as she takes the drink from you.

“She has asked that I stay far away from Mr. Barber. I can continue to be friends with Jacob, and it’s fine that I came here tonight, but after all is said and done I need to stay away. I’m a threat to her marriage, even though I haven’t done anything, and that in order to keep her marriage to keep her marriage afloat, I can’t come around because I’m Andy’s type.”

When Sarah says nothing, you look up and see her trying her best to hold on to her resolve and you scoff.

“Yeah, that’s how I feel too.”

“She’s the one who cheated! She’s the one who said those nasty things about you!” Sarah whispers harshly.

“Which I reminded her of by telling her that I never made her feel as small as shes always made me feel, I never told Jacob and started drama, and I never made a scene.”

“What did Andy do?”

“He wanted to go after her and yell at her, but I stopped him.”

“Why-”

“It only would’ve made it worse. She doesn’t know we’ve been hanging out in secret, and she’d start a shit show. She wouldn’t care about the impact that it would have on Andy or Jacob-”

“Or you.”

“I don’t matter in all of this,” you smile sorrowfully at her.

“Babe, yes you do-”

“Jacob has been through enough and so has Andy. Why the hell should they have to endure more hell over me? Because I’m in love?”

“Because you deserve to be happy!”

“Sometimes we just don’t get what we want, and that’s fine. At some point, I’ll get over it and things will be alright.”

“He shouldn’t be with her!”

“That doesn’t mean he should be with me, Sarah,” you sigh as you fight back your tears. “I can’t force him to leave her, I’m not going to beg him to leave her, and I’m damn sure not about to make anyone’s life harder. I know Andy is pushing for a divorce, and I hope he gets it, but him being with me will never be okay. Age difference aside, she’s going to turn this whole town against him, and hes worked too hard. Hes done too much, and Jacob? You and Jacob?”

“We can all just move!”

“Sarah-”

“Why can’t you both be happy? Why does she have to win? Yeah, Mr. Barber and Jacob deserve to be happy, but so do you! He wants to be happy with you! He loves-”

“Don’t,” you warn as a single tear falls from your eyes. “Just don’t.”

“This isn’t right and you know it.”

“Why can’t you just-”

“Because you’re my best friend too! You have been through so much and you’ve handled it so much better than anyone deserves. If it were me, I would’ve gone off on everyone a million times over. Both you deserve a win! You deserve a win,” she sniffles softly as she wipes her eyes.

“Sarah-”

“Hey, what’s going...babe, what’s wrong?” Jacob asks, instantly seeing the distressed look on Sarah’s face and tears in her eyes.

“Nothing, I just need to go for a walk,” she sobs before getting up and quickly making her way out.

Jacob looks to you and you just shake your head “go after to her and clam her down.”

“What-”

“Just go, Jacob.”

“Fucks sake,” he sighs before following after her.

“What the fuck was that about?” Andy whispers as he takes a seat next to you.

“Just spreading holiday cheer,” you smile sarcastically as you raise your glass and take a sip. “Seems like everyone is a fan of you tonight.”

“Honey, please tell me what’s wrong.”

“Don’t. Don’t do that when you already know what’s wrong.”

“Listen, just because-”

“Andy!” a tall man greets, pulling both of you out of conversation.

You look him over and instantly recognize who he is.

“Neal,” Andy greets with a warm smile.

“Just wanted to congratulate you on tonight, you’ve more than earned it.”

“Thanks, I really appreciate it.”

“I’m sorry, don’t mean to be rude, but I don’t think we’ve met,” Neal smiles at you, and you glare straight through him.

Fuck Neal Loguidice.

“Neal, this is Y/N. Y/N, this is Neal Loguidice,” Andy smiles awkwardly, noticing that your glare isn’t going anywhere.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Neal smiles at you as he looks you over, extending his hand, which you just stare at.

It’s Andy’s job to place nice with his coworkers, not yours. Neil fucked over both you guys so, as far as you’re concerned, he can go fuck himself.

“Well,” Neal starts awkwardly as he clears his throat, “I guess I’ll see you around, Andy.

He’s quick to smile with a small nod before almost rushing off.

“Well, I guess that’s that.”

“Fuck Neal,” you mutter before taking a sip of your drink.

“Sweetheart, lets take a trip to my office.”

“Lets not and say we did.”

“We need to talk.”

“This isn’t the time or the place.”

“Please, let’s just go to my office,” Andy pleads desperately.

You can hear the pain in his voice and it only makes all of it so much harder, “let’s go,” you mumble, standing up and grabbing your drink.

The walk to his office is tense, quiet, and fairly quick. You try to keep a good distance from him, but you also long to be near him. By the way he’s holding out his hand, (like he wants you to take it) he feels the same.

“Somehow it’s exactly how I thought it’d be, and at the same time, it’s not,” you comment with a soft smile as you take a seat in front of his desk.

“You’ve thought about my office?” Andy chuckles as he closes his door.

“You’ve called me from here enough, it’s hard not to wonder what the place you love so much looks like.”

“You know the place I love is any place you are,” he sighs heavily, taking a seat at his desk and opening the bottom drawer, “you look miserable.” He takes out a glass and a bottle of bourbon, “I feel like I’ve done nothing but make your life miserable, and that makes me feel like shit, cause you’ve done nothing but make mine better. In so many ways.”

“It’s nothing you’ve done and you know that.”

“Me not being in your life would make it better though, wouldn’t it?”

Your silence just causes him to shake his head as he pours himself a drink.

“Y/N-”

“What do you want me to say? Obviously, there are parts that would be easier if we weren’t as close as we are, but since you’ve been in my life, I’ve been happy. So fucking happy. I look forward to our late night calls and texts, I’m so happy when you randomly stop by and we go on drives, I can listen to you talk about anything forever, I just...you’re married and I’m the town whore,” you scoff.

“Stop that, you didn’t do anything-”

“It doesn’t matter, Andy. You heard Laurie last night! She believes I didn’t do anything, and she still wants me to stay the hell away from you!”

“Yeah well, Laurie’s a bitch,” he mutters before sipping on his bourbon, placing it back down.

“Andy-”

“What? It’s just you and me right now, there’s no need to lie. We don’t lie to each other and we’re not about to start now.”

“Andy-”

“Fuck her! Fuck her and this whole fucking town! You haven’t done anything to deserve this! I’m so sick-”

“Baby, there’s Jacob,” you interrupt softly, reaching your hand across his desk to hold his free hand.

“There’s Jacob,” he sighs heavily, grabbing his drink again with his other hand and taking a long sip from it. “You look so beautiful tonight. Absolutely gorgeous,” he smiles at you, his eyes watering a little.

“Please don’t-”

“I’m going to stay away. Even after all is said and done with Laurie, I’m going to stay away, because I refuse to be another person in your life to let you down. I love you too much for that and you deserve better. You deserve so much better from everyone, and I want to be someone who does that for you.”

“Andy, you know it’s not what I want-”

“You don’t have to explain anything to me. I know it’s not what either of us wants, but you’ll never do anything and I’ll never ask you to. Enough has happened and this is for the best. It’s the right thing to do...you feel it’s the right thing to do, and I’ll abide by that.”

“Andy, I...wait a minute, what do you mean you love me?”

“What do you mean what do I mean? I love you. Of course I love you, how could I not?”

“Wait, you can’t-”

“You don’t get to tell me what I do and don’t feel, sweetheart. You are funny, kind, charismatic, tough, sexy, energetic, witty, smart as hell...I could go on forever,” he chuckles humorlessly as he grabs his glass and takes another sip. “I love you just as much as you love me.”

“You don’t know that I love you-”

“You’re not as slick as you think you are, sweetheart.”

“I don’t want to-”

“I don’t want to love you either, but it’s starting to feel like we didn’t have much of a choice. All I want is for you to tell me the truth. In this room, in this moment, tell me the truth,” he begs softly.

You give his hand another gentle squeeze and a weak smile as tears start to fall from your eyes, “I love you, too.”

“I’ll stay away from you. I’ll stay away and keep you safe.”

“Andy-”

“It’s the least I can do. Like I told you before, you’re the least selfish person I know. It’s time you get something back.”

“I don’t want this, Andy.”

“Neither do I, sweetheart. However, you think this will be best, so I’m abiding by your rules.”

“If you don’t want this, why are you-”

“Because you do, and I love you. When you love someone, you don’t force your ideas and wants on them, you listen to them and do you your best to make them happy.”

“Andy-”

“I love you, Y/N. It’s as simple as that. If this makes your life easier, I’ll do it. Anything that makes you breathe a little easier, I’ll do it.”

For the next 10 minutes, neither of you say anything to each other. You just sit there in silence, sobbing softly while you both drink, holding hands. It’s the closest to heaven you’re going to get, so you just want to live in it as long as possible.

However, you both know you need to get back and that Jacob’s patience is wearing thin, so you’re the first to get up and head back. When you get back to the table, both Jacob and Sarah look irritated.

Great.

“Hey, can I talk to you for a moment?” Jacob asks softly, standing up once you reach the table.

“I’d really rather not.”

“Y/N.”

“Why?”

“Just come on,” he scowls, taking a hold of your wrist and practically dragging you out of the room.

“What the fuck?!” you yell the second you two are outside.

“What is going on with you?”

“Jacob-”

“No, you protect me from everything and everyone all the time, but this is the first time that you’re not letting me do it for you. Sarah won’t tell me a damn thing, you’ve been distant and moody, getting you to hangout is like pulling teeth, and I’m fucking worried about you!” he shouts, almost out of breath.

The sight of him has your eyes welling up all over again. His eyes show nothing but pure and genuine concern, his shoulders are tense, and he looks like he’s at his wits end.

This is why you can never be with Andy.

“I’m fine, Jake,” you sob.

“Hey, it’s me. You can always talk to me. What happened? Did someone hurt you? Is it your boss? Did I do something? Y/N, please just talk to me.”

“I’m just never...I’m just unhappy with my life right now. I’m so fucking unhappy and I feel like that’s just how it’s always going to be,” you cry, finally letting go.

“Hey no, that’s not true at all! Stop it,” Jacob coos softly as he wraps you in a tight hug. “This isn’t like you at all, Y/N. What happened?”

All you can do is continue to sob, so Jacob walks you both over to a nearby bench and sits you both down. You continue to cry into Jacob’s shoulder, and he gently strokes your back. You can’t help but feel like a complete idiot.

Why did you set yourself up? You’ve always known that Andy is off limits, so why did you ever start making yourself available to him? Why did you ever let yourself get excited at the thought of spending time with him? Him opening up made you feel so fucking special and for what? Him memorizing all of the things you love and make you happy; it shouldn’t have mattered at all.

But it did.

Andy Barber was the first man you’d ever met that made you feel like you were more than just an object; more than just a thing to fulfill men’s fantasies. He took the time to know you, he took the time to learn all of the things you love and make you smile. He was always there for you (no matter how big or large the problem was), he was always able to make you laugh, he was always able to pull you back when you’d go too far off the deep end. He always listened to you without judgment...from the day you two met, Andy had been everything you dreamed of and more.

Even Jacob, with all of his well-intentions, he still looked at you with bedroom eyes from time to time. Hell, he still does every once in a while. Maybe it’s because Andy’s older and more experienced, but he has never made you feel like you’re good for only one thing. From day one, Andy has always made you feel like a person instead of an object. He made you feel like everything about you mattered, not just the parts that could get men off.

“Tell me what’s going on, Y/N,” Jacob coos as your tears finally start to slow.

“My fucking parents,” you lie, trying to calm down and figure out the most believable thing to tell him. “The fucking holidays...they know Christmas is my favorite fucking holiday and they’re bickering about who I should spend it with. When in reality, I don’t want to spend it with either of them.”

“Just spend it my family. My mom loves you, you and my dad are best friends whenever you two are around one another, you and Sarah are best friends-”

“No, it’s not...it’s not just that. I fucking hate this stupid town. I just...I’m just worn out, Jake. I’m exhausted and just need a fucking break. I wish I could just start over and be someone else.”

“The world would be a much shittier place if you weren’t you. Why didn’t you just come and talk to me?”

“You have so much going on already-”

“Listen, you are the best friend I could ever have. You make all of the time in the world for me, of course I’d do the same for you. I just realized that I’m an asshole who dragged you out here without a coat. Lets get back inside,” he smiles and chuckle, wiping your eyes. “Are you okay?”

“I’ll be fine.”

“Just know that there isn’t anything you can’t tell me. I’m always here for you, no matter what,” he promises sincerely.

Well, if you didn’t feel like shit before, you sure as fuck do now.

You two head back inside and when you get back to the table, it’s obvious to you that Sarah and Andy had a talk. Andy looks defeated and Sarah looks even more heartbroken than she did before.

“What’s wrong with you two?” Jacob laughs as he takes a seat.

“I think I’m going burn these shoes,” Sarah laughs.

“I told you you’d end up hating them!”

“But they were so cute!” she laughs as he dips down to kiss her. “Next time just carry me out of the store.”

“Sounds like a plan,” he smirks “dad, what’s up with you?”

“Just wish tonight could’ve gone differently.”

“Don’t let mom being mom ruin this for you. It was a great night and I’m sure she’ll regret it. Just focus on everyone here who actually supports you.”

“You’re right,” Andy smiles weakly. “Lets say we get out of here, huh?”

“Yeah, I don’t think my feet can tolerate much more of this,” Sarah laughs as she stands up.

“Dad, it really was a great night,” he tells him reassuringly before taking his suit jacket off the back of his chair.

If only Jacob knew how shitty the night really went.

The days leading up to Christmas are the loneliest days you’ve ever experienced. Some days, you’re able to talk yourself out of a breakdown, and other days they’re unavoidable. Since you can’t talk to or see Andy, you settle for the next best thing: watching old video and reading through old text messages. It’s the only thing you can think of to dull the pain without actually seeing him. Every day you hope he’ll cave, but you know he won’t because that’s not who he is.

That’s not the man you fell in love with.

It doesn’t help that Jacob keeps begging you to come over for Christmas. You know he means well, and that it’s part your fault because you lied to him at the party, but the thought of seeing him with her fills you with so much anger. It’s all bullshit, because he isn’t happy at all. Having to sit there and watching them fake it for hours will only drive you insane. Plus, you know she’ll make a show of it because you’ll be there, and that’ll only anger Andy and make him uncomfortable, and you could never do that to him.

Sarah’s been giving you small updates from time to time, and she says he’s barely home. When he is, he’s a recluse, the arguments have gotten louder, and he’s easily irritated. Part of you wishes she wouldn’t tell you anything, because all it does is make things harder, but at the same time you’re happy to get them. You want updates on him because you need to know how he is. The fact that he’s so unhappy and frustrated makes you even more upset. You just want to hold him and make everything better, but you can’t. You want to take a late night drive with him and tell him it’ll get better, but you can’t. You want to take care of him the way hes always taken care of you, but you can’t.

You just want your Andy to be okay.

Eventually you got Jacob off your back about Christmas by lying and saying you decided to spend it with your mother, because you’re worried about her, which is why you’re now laid out on your sofa (in just the extra large AC/DC crew neck he got you on a whim), watching ‘A Charlie Brown Christmas’ while eating a pint of strawberry cheesecake ice cream. You can’t have your ideal Christmas, so you may as well settle for second best.

You roll your eyes when you hear your cell phone going off and choose to ignoring (hoping that Jacob, your mother, or father) would take the hint and go away. However, when it goes off for a second time, you scowl before answering it.

“Hello?” you answer harshly, hoping whoever is on the other line will take the hint and go away.

“Well, Merry Christmas to you too,” a familiar deep voice responds with a soft chuckles.

“Andy?”

“Hey sweetheart.”

“What...you can’t-”

“I told everyone I needed to go for a drive, it’s fine.”

“We’re not supposed to-”

“Come to the window,” he demands softly.

Almost instantly, you’re on your feet and looking out of the full window in your small living area, “you get to see me but I don’t get to see you? That’s not fair.”

“Let me rectify that,” he laughs before letting his window down and smiling up at you, “better?”

“Much,” you smile with a small wave “why aren’t you home?”

“I am now.”

“Andy.”

“It’s Christmas. I wanted to get as close to being with the one I love as I could.”

“Andy-”

“You have amazing legs, sweetheart. Is that the AC/DC crew neck I got you?”

“It is,” you laugh softly with a small sniffle.

“Are those tattoos I see on your thighs?”

“Yes they are,” you laugh, remembering how much your mom hated them and cried when she first saw them.

“How did I not notice them at the party?”

“The dress covered them.”

“Well, I was robbed.”

“Andy,” you laugh “what are you doing here?”

“I miss you.”

“I miss you too, baby.”

“I also dropped off your Christmas present.”

“What?! Andy-”

“Relax,” he laughs softly “it’s not some big to-do. I know you’d hate that.”

“I didn’t get you anything! I wasn’t-”

“Seeing you right now is a gift, even if it’s not exactly the way I want it to go. I’m happy, honey. This is more than enough.”

“Andy...” you trail off, fighting back tears.

“Go to the door and get your present. God, you don’t know how hard it was for me to not knock on that fucking door.”

“How long have you been out there?” you ask as you make your way over to your door, quickly opening and closing the door after you pick up the neatly wrapped gift.

“Longer than I should,” he laughs.

“You didn’t have to do anything for me,” you smile softly as you sit on the window sill.

“Open it!”

“I am! So damn pushy,” you laugh as you pull the wrapping paper off. “Oh...Andy...this is so fucking thoughtful.”

“I did good?”

“I’m putting it in bedroom and the other on my key chain holding my car keys and the key to my apartment,” you sob as you look over the thoughtful gifts.

One of was a medium sized framed picture of the selfie you two took while sitting on the hood of Andy’s car, while the sun rose and you two eat ice cream. The other, was a quote from ‘To Have and To Have Not’ that said “If you want anything, just whistle.”

“I should have gotten you something,” you sniffle as you dry your eyes.

“This is more than enough.”

“I love you, Andy. God, I love you so fucking much.”

“I love you too, honey.”

“You should be here.”

“I know I should be,” he sighs heavily “how’s ‘A Charlie Brown Christmas’ going?”

“Same as it always goes,” you laugh softly.

“I’m gonna go.”

“Please...just a couple more minutes?”

“You don’t know how hard it was for me to not knock on your door and beg you to let me in.”

“Who says you would have had to beg me for anything?”

“Honey.”

“I just...I keep thinking what this day would’ve been like if I spent it with you. Really spent it with you.”

“Yeah? What do you have in mind?”

“We would’ve had breakfast together, watched sappy Christmas movies, exchanged gifts, watched more movies together...”

“And then what?”

“Hands where I can see ‘em, Barber,” you smirk and he chuckles “we would have taken turns showing each other how we appreciate each other.”

“Tell me not to come up there right there right now and show you how much I love you.”

“Don’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because it can’t happen, baby.”

“I just want to be with you, honey.”

“I feel the same,” you smile weakly.

“I’m gonna go. Merry Christmas, I love you.”

“I love you, Andy. Merry Christmas.”

As you watch him drive off after he hangs up, you clutch the key chain tighter and wish that you’re selfish enough to tell him to stay. All you want is to fall asleep and wake up him by your side, holding you close and kissing you deeply. It’s not fucking fair that the one person who finally makes you feel alive is the one person you can’t be with.

So, from that day on you’re even more frustrated and irritated. Why can’t she just give him the damn divorce? He clearly doesn’t want to be with her, so what the hell she still trying to hold on to. She knows that Andy will give her whatever she wants, so why she can’t she just let it go? As for Jacob...if he really hates the idea of you then obviously you’d back off, but what it really be so bad to try?

Ugh, you don’t know why you keep thinking about it, because it can’t happen. Even with Laurie gone and Jacob magically accepting it, there’s still the fact that you have a reputation that will never change. You could never do that to him. He’s been through enough, and the last thing you want is to add another obstacle and frustration to his life.

You can’t be with him, so you just need to let it go. You need to let all ideas of Andy Barber go.

“Darling,” your father calls, pulling you out of your thoughts “you didn’t answer my question.”

“I didn’t hear it,” you mumble before taking a sip of your coffee.

“Are you going to be mad at me forever?”

“Can we not do this today? It’s a nice Spring day and I’m just not in the mood.”

“You’re acting like I’m some sort of-”

“First of all, I’m not acting like anything. You’re an asshole and you know what you did was fucked up. I know how you lost all the money in the first place. You gambled it all away, not giving a damn that you had a wife and child at home. You did what you wanted, then picked fights with mom over it. THEN, you somehow managed to beat the odds and win the fucking lottery, and you’re still a dick. You start seeing her,” you snap looking over at his young bride “and start picking the most idiotic fights with mom. Then, to top it all off, you fucking leave like a coward. In the middle of the night so you don’t have to deal with any of the aftermath. As if that wasn’t bad enough, you had my best friend’s dad serve mom the papers! So let’s not sit here and pretend you’re not a complete dick, because you are. Second, you brought her here and didn’t bother to fucking tell me about it, because you knew I wouldn’t fucking show if she came. You’re trying to force me to be okay with her, when you know I’ll never be okay.”

“Y/N-”

“You left!” you snapped, slamming your down on the table. “You left and you left me all alone to clean up the mess that you made! I don’t wanna hear it!”

“Y/N-” his new wife starts.

“If you wanna leave this place without a broken fuckin’ nose, I suggest you shut up,” you warn, glaring at her. “As for you, don’t sit here and act like it’s damn surprise that the sight of you makes me sick!”

“What about you?! It’s not like you’re some saint! Everyone knows that Laurie Barber doesn’t want you around her husband!”

“That’s because she’s a cunt! I haven’t laid a hand on Mr. Barber and I haven’t seen him in months! Don’t try to paint us as one and the same, because we are so much less alike than you’d ever think!”

“Y/N, stop. I had no right and I’m sorry-”

“Jesus, are we done here? Have we put one another through enough?”

“Y/N-”

“Are we done?!”

“Yes,” he sighs sorrowfully, hanging his head in defeat.

“Fucking amazing,” you mutter before throwing your towel down and getting up “feel free to never call me again.”

As you walk out, you can’t help but feel bad. Yes, your father has had it coming for years, but your outburst wasn’t because he’s a piece of shit, it was because you miss Andy. You haven’t seen him since Christmas and it’s driving you insane. Is that all you two have now? Stolen moments on holidays? Stolen moments where you two can’t even touch or hold one another? Why can’t you just let it go? Why can’t you let Andy go?

You’ve studied the photo he gave you for Christmas a million times, hell you even hold while you sleep sometimes. Why? Because it’s all you have. Sometimes, you tell yourself that you’ll just move and start over, but just makes everything hurt more.Yeah, you’re away from him now, but being another state away? Another country? It’s just too much.

You try to get your mood together as you get ready to go over Jacob’s house, but you know he won’t be there and she will be. How you haven’t got into an all out fist fight with Laurie Barber yet is beyond you, but with the way your day is going, you won’t count anything. As you try to put together a decent enough outfit, your phone goes off and you pray it’s someone who won’t want to make you throw yourself out of a window.

“Hello?”

“So, I hear you went to lunch with your father and I’m the big bad witch.”

Prayer denied. “Hi mom.”

“I don’t know why you even bothered to go at all, why you try to have a relationship with him.”

“The same reason we keep up this charade, mom: he won’t leave me alone.”

“Don’t be a bitch.”

“You started it.”

“Why don’t you settle down? Everyone knows you love older men, and older men love to settle down. Laurie Barber is so desperate to keep you away from her husband, why don’t you go after him?”

“It’s 5:30 in the evening, mom. You’re this drunk already?”

“Well, I was bored,” she sighs with a humorless laugh.

“Unfortunately, I don’t have time to entertain you. Talk to you later,” you mutter before hanging up and almost throwing your phone down.

It’s not like you were in a good mood to begin with, but after having to deal with, but there’s no way in fuck you can be in the Barber household right now, especially with Laurie being there. You let out a heavy sigh knowing that the call you’re about to make isn’t going to go well.

“Hey!” Jacob answers enthusiastically and it only makes you feel worse. “Are you on your way?”

“I uh...I’m not coming. You guys have fun without me.”

“Y/N-”

“I don’t need it today, Jake. I had the lunch from hell with my father and then my mother called me, drunk, and decided to tell me that she thinks everyone in town still thinks that I’m a whore.”

“What the...are you serious?!”

“Don’t Jake, just don’t.”

“She can’t talk to you like that!”

“She’s my mother, apparently she can do whatever she wants.”

“I’m gonna-”

“You’re not going to do anything, Jake. Just leave it alone. I’ll handle all of it at some point, I just need to decompress.”

“So you’re gonna find someone to sleep with?”

“Well, I haven’t been fucked in months and I’m having the day from hell, so why not?”

“It seems like you’re always having the day from hell.”

“Jesus, not you too! Can I just catch a fucking break?! We can argue tomorrow?!”

“I miss my best fucking friend! I feel like I haven’t seen you in-”

“Jacob, when you’re in this house, watch your mouth!” you hear Laurie yell and you feel your blood start to boil.

“Jake, I’m sorry I let you down and I love you to death, but I can’t fucking do this right now. I need time away.”

“Fine, whatever. Talk to tomorrow,” he grumbles before hanging up

You can’t catch a fucking break.

You throw your phone down before heading into your bedroom and searching your closet. Maybe getting fucked will help you. No, it obviously won’t be getting fucked by the man you want, but something has to be better than nothing at this point...right?

You pull out one of your sexier dresses, making sure to tie it low, so there’s a good view of your cleavage,you wear your favorite skinny open-toed black heels, and apply your makeup perfectly. It’s not lost on you how good you look, and you’re hoping to be back at your place soon enough, but all of it feels wrong. If you’re not going home with the one you want, why are you going out at all?

The only thing you can come up with is that you need some sort of release before you snap on someone.

By the time your car service pulls up to the bar, you’re regretting going out at all, but you have to try. You can’t make your whole life about Andy, and you have to try and move on. Moving on doesn’t mean finding Mr. Right, it just means not letting yourself get wrapped up in one person that you can never be with. You’re determined to leave with someone.

However, by hour two of your excursion, you’re ready to throw in the towel.

It’s not like you haven’t been hit on by attractive men, but they’re all the wrong men. The more you try and force yourself to be engaged and attracted, the less you feel encouraged to go through your plan. As you sit at the bar, wondering why you can’t just give him up. ‘How Do I Make You Love Me?’ by the Weeknd starts playing.

“Well, this is a welcomed surprise,” a deep familiar voice says as he takes a seat next to you.

“Of all the gin joints in the world,” you smirk before finishing your drink “how may I help you, Mr. Barber? This really isn’t the type of place I ever expected to find you in.”

“Wasn’t my idea,” he smirks as he nods towards the other end of the bar, a few of his friends nodding at the both of you.

“Why aren’t you at...cause I’m supposed to be at your house right now,” you chuckle humorlessly as the bartender brings you another whiskey neat.

“How many of those have you had?”

“Not enough,” you grin “I’m sure Laurie called you to tell you it’s safe to come home.”

“I don’t want to be in that house.”

“And why is that, Mr. Barber?” you slur slightly as you turn to look at him.

“It’s not a home unless you’re there and you know that,” he confesses softly. “Why are you here?”

“I’m trying to get over you.”

“Don’t do that,” he begs quicker than he means to.

‘How do I make you love me? (How do I make you fall for me?)’

“Why not?”

“Because you’re mine and I’m yours. Don’t throw us away so quickly.”

‘How do I make you want me? (And make it last eternally?)’

“Don’t.”

“You’re right, lets get you home.”

“That defeats the purpose.”

“Don’t make me watch you go home with someone else, please.”

“You can leave now.”

“I don’t wanna leave without you.”

‘I only want what’s right in front of me.

It’s quite unusual, seeking approval,

Begging for it desperately’

“We can’t keep doing this to each other,” you tell him softly as you look away from him.

“Let me take you home,” he begs softly.

“What if I said I don’t want you to take me home?”

“I’d call you a big fucking liar,” he smirks before looking at the bartender “she’s done here and would like to settle her tab,” he smiles as he pulls out his wallet.

“Andy-”

“If I hadn’t see you, I would be able to pretend,” he confesses softly as he hands the bartender his card, “but I wouldn’t leave until I saw you leave, and it would fucking kill me.”

“Andy-”

“I love you, Y/N. God, I love you so fucking much, and it drives me insane, because I shouldn’t. I shouldn’t want to fall asleep next to you every night, I shouldn’t want to hear your voice every second of every day, I shouldn’t want to hear what my name sounds like when it leaves your lips as I fuck you senseless, I shouldn’t want to shower you with gifts, I shouldn’t want to kiss you all the time, I shouldn’t fucking love you, Y/N. Even if there wasn’t Laurie, even if you weren’t Jacob’s best friend, you’ve been through enough hell and you deserve to be young and finally fucking have fun. You should be hooking up, dating around, and just having fun. We shouldn’t be what we fucking are to each other, but I just...Jesus, I love you. I’ve tried to stop and do the right thing, but I just...you live in my head and my heart. I can’t get you out, and I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry, because I don’t want to be another person in your life asking too much of you,” he finishes, letting out a defeated sigh as the bartender hands him his card. “If I hadn’t been here tonight, I could pretend that you’re at home watching ‘Casablanca’ for the millionth time, but I’m here and I see how you look. Someone else being buried deep inside you, feeling your warmth, getting to know you intimately...I just can’t handle that. Finish your drink and I’ll let the guys know I’m taking you home,” he says softly before walking.

You instantly down your drink, because what else can you do? The man just poured his heart out, telling you that he feels the exact same way you do, so what else are you supposed to do? You’re in public so you can’t cry, you can’t hug him, and you sure as shit can’t kiss him. All you can do is drink your fucking drink and ignore what you’re feeling.

As he makes his way back over to you, he cocks an eyebrow and you just nod. The walk to his car is quite and so is the car ride to your place. You want to say something, but you don’t know what to say. The only thing you can think of is how much you love him, how much you want him, and the fucking lyrics to that song.

‘How do I make you love me? (How do I make you fall for me?)

How do I make you want me? (And make it last eternally?)’

All you want is Andy and you want everything with him forever. It also doesn’t help that his confession about wanting to fuck you senseless won’t stop playing in your brain on surround sound. You know that part of the reason for it is because you’re touch starved, but it’s not like that matters much anyway.

The only touch you’re starving for is Andy’s.

By the time he pulls into the parking garage of your complex, your brain is at war with itself and going a million miles a minute.

“You didn’t have park down here.”

“You’re drunk, I’m not letting you go up there on your own.”

“I can take the elevator, Andy.”

“Good, so I can drop you off and come right back down.”

“Andy-”

“Honey, it’s been a long fucking day. Just let me do this, please?”

“Fine,” you huff, getting out of the car and slamming the door shut.

“Why are you mad at me?”

“Like you said, it’s been a long a fucking day-”

“No, talk to me!” he snaps grabbing your wrist.

“Jesus Andy!” you yell, but as you turn to meet his gaze, you see that his eyes hold nothing but love and pure genuine concern.

Why are you two so fucking gone for one another?

“Andy...just let me go.”

“Talk to me.”

“This can’t ever...you deserve better! You talk about how much I’ve been through, what about you?!”

“What about me?”

“Your dad, losing your mom right before college, everything with Jacob, all of the shit Lauries’ put you through...you think I want you to have to deal with the scrutiny that comes with dating the town whore?”

“You’re not-”

“It doesn’t matter, Andy. They’re all committed to seeing me in that light-”

“But I’m not,”he says firmly, but his tone is still soft as softly grips your shoulders.

“Andy, I love you. It honestly hurts, because you were never...this was never supposed to happen. You’re a dream that’s never supposed to come true.”

“Sweetheart, you’ve always been my dream,” he tells you softly as he rests his forehead against yours.

You want to live in this moment forever.

“You have to get me upstairs,” you sigh, looking down at your fingers interlocked with his.

“We should get started then, shouldn’t we?” he questions so softly you barely hear it.

You two continue to hold hands as you walk to the elevator, and you don’t let go for the ride up to your floor. The only time Andy lets go of your hand is when you’re fishing out your keys, and even then he’s reluctant to let go.

“You’ll let me know when you’re home safe?” you question as you both step inside your apartment, but you can barely focus on hearing his answer.

“I always do. I’m sorry I-”

Before the last bit of the sober part of your brain can protest, you’re pulling Andy close and kissing him as if you’re life depends on it. It’s not desperate or messy, but it does a good job of showing just how much you need him. How much you’ve always needed him.

You expect him to stop and pull away, but his response is the exact opposite. He pins you against the wall and deepens it, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you as close to him as he can. His tongue traces the outline of your bottom lip as his hands start to explore your body, and you gladly give him access as you run your hands through his hair, gripping it just enough to get a grunt of approval.

It feels like you’re finally alive; every bit of your body tingles with excitement, and every part of you that he touches feels as if it’s on fire. You’ve never felt something so all consuming and powerful, and you never want it to end. Andy’s awoken something deep inside of you, and now you don’t know if you can survive without him.

You barely were before.

He starts to trail skillful kisses down your neck as he fumbles with the front of your shirt, trying to untie it, and it feels like heaven. “Andy,” you moan as your eyes flutter shut and you lull your head back.

He freezes almost instantly.

“Fuck!” he breathes heavily into the crook of your neck. “I gotta go. Shit!”

“What? No! Why-”

“Don’t, sweetheart,” he sighs as he stands up straight, “fuck, I’m so sorry-”

“Andy what did I do? What’s wrong?”

“You are perfect, you could never...it’s me. I know better and still...you’re drunk!”

“What does that have to do with anything? I love you whether I’m drunk or sober. I want you whether I’m drunk or sober.”

“It would be one thing if we were both drunk or sober, but I can’t do this and not feel like I’m taking advantage of you!”

“I kissed you!”

“Because you’re drunk!”

“Okay, so I acted on liquid courage, so what? It doesn’t change-”

“Honey, please.”

The look on his face lets you know that he’s at war with himself and it breaks your heart. “I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m the one who’s sorry. I can’t keep...you aren’t mine.”

“Yes I am, Andy,” you tell him softly holding his torn gaze. “I’m all yours and yours alone. No one’s touched me since that day you showed up at my apartment for drinks, and I’ve been in love with you since that night we went out for ice cream and watched the sunrise. I am all yours and I only ever want to be yours. Drunk or sober, you’re all I’ll ever want.”

“God, this isn’t fucking fair,” he grumbles, resting his forehead against yours. “I’m so fucking in love with you...I wish I could show you...I’m gonna go, sweetheart.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I don’t want to, but it’s for the best. I’ll text you when I’m there.”

“I love you.”

“I love you,” he sighs heavily, kissing your forehead before leaving.

In no time at all, you’re undressing yourself and getting yourself off in bed; Andy’s name leaving your lips every time you reach your climax. No, it’s not ideal and definitely how you wanted to end your night, but it’s enough.

For now.

Andy’s P.OV.

“Jesus Laurie, just drop it! It was three weeks ago and I told you about it!” I yell as we have the same argument, for what feels like the millionth time.

“What were you even doing in a club, Andy?!”

“You didn’t want me here, remember? You wanted me to out of the house, because Y/N was supposed to be here.”

“Well, she very clearly wasn’t, Andy! I text you that it was okay to come home-”

“I’m not a fucking dog, Laurie! You can’t just command me around-”

“I’m not trying to command you-”

“Yes you are! For fucks sake, just sign the divorce papers! There’s nothing to save! Let it go!”

“Stop saying that! What? Are you in love with someone else? Are you-”

“Yes Laurie, I am in love with someone else, and you refusing to do the one thing I ask you to do is making it all that much harder to move on!”

“Why am I the only one fighting to make this marriage work?!”

“Because you’re the one that cheated!” I shout as I make my way into the living room. “You never loved me, because you never knew the real me, and that’s fine. It’s my fault, but now...what’s the reason to keep this up? Jacob’s about to move out, you clearly have other interests-”

“That was once!”

“It was twice, and one of them was an actual fucking relationship! Laurie, I can’t keep-”

“I love you! I know I’ve fucked up and I’m sorry, but we can salvage this!”

“There’s nothing to-”

“Yes there is!” Laurie yells, throwing her glass down.

How the fuck did we end up like this?

“Look at us, Laurie. There’s nothing healthy or right about us anymore. We just don’t work anymore. This doesn’t work and there’s no reason for us to try and force it. Just let it go. Let me go. I don’t want to do this anymore.”

“You just need time, Andy. We both do.”

“Laurie, I’m in love with someone else and I’ll be in love with her until my dying breath. I did everything in my power to fix this and now I’m tired. I’m tired and I’m done.”

“You just need time.”

“No, I need a fucking divorce. I’m done, Laurie.”

“I’ll spend the night at my parent’s place and give you time to think about it. We’ll talk about it more when I’m back in the morning.”

“Laurie, you can be gone for a week. You can leave for a month for all I care. I’ll still want a divorce!”

“Just think on it!” she snaps before heading upstairs.

I let out a frustrated grunt before heading into the kitchen and pouring myself a glass of bourbon. 12pm on a fucking Saturday and I’m already pouring myself a drink.

Great.

I don’t know how many times I can have the same fucking argument before I truly snap. I’ve done all I can to be graceful about this, and maybe that’s the fucking problem. I keep trying to spare Laurie’s feelings and am unable to show you that I’m all in.

It’s not like it’s lost on me that our relationship is going to be hard, but I don’t care. I don’t care about the stares, I don’t care about the whispers, and I don’t care about the backlash. Jacob? He’ll be pissed, but he’ll get over it. If he can’t...then it’ll just something else that we have to work through.

I love you. I just want to be with you.

“Alright, I’ll call tomorrow when I’m on my way back and we can-”

“Laurie, I’m moving out. I’ve found a condo and I’m gonna start packing up my stuff next week.”

“You just need time, Andy,” she mutters as her eyes start to water.

“Laurie, please just sign the damn papers. We tried and it just didn’t work-”

“We’ll talk when I get back tomorrow. We both just need to cool off,” she sniffs before turning and walking out.

Why can’t any of this be easy? I just want you. I just need you. For the sake of Jacob and you, I’d really rather not get into an all out war with Laurie over this, but I’m done. I can’t keep telling you I love you and not actually showing you. Not actually prove it. I’ve gotta figure out a way to get out of this and get you back in these arms where you belong.

I need to figure out how to make you mine.

Y/N’s P.O.V

As you pull up to the Barber household, you only see Andy’s car in the driveway.

Great.

You quickly pull out your phone and dial Jacob’s number, praying that he answers.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. We should be leaving soon,” Jacob sighs as soon as he answers.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I just didn’t think we’d be at her parents so long, and now I feel like an asshole because I bullied you into hanging out.”

“Don’t feel like an asshole,” you scoff, rubbing the back of your neck, “I’ll just head home and you can-”

“No no, just stay there. You know where the spare key is and I’m sure my parents won’t care. Just hangout in my room and we’ll meet you up there.”

“Jake-”

“No, because if you go home, you’re just gonna wanna hangout there for the night. We all swore that we were gonna go out tonight. Between work and school, we all need this.”

“I promise that I won’t make us all stay in the house.”

“You’re so full of shit,” he chuckles as you start laughing, “we really should be leaving soon. Just make yourself comfortable and we’ll see you in a bit.”

“Sounds good,” you smile before hanging up.

You know that it’s in your best interest to go home, especially since Andy’s home, but you don’t want to let Jacob down. You’ve been a moody bitch for months and it only got worse after everything that happened with Andy.

Andy.

You haven’t seen or spoken to him since you two briefly made out in your apartment. Hes tried calling and texting, but you’ve been too embarrassed and ashamed to answer. How could you be so careless? So empty headed? He’s married and you’re best friend’s dad. What made you think it okay?

The fact that you love him.

Drunk or sober, it was bound to happen. Trying to hide from your feelings could only get you so far for so long. You and Andy had been playing a dangerous games with fire for a while, and it only made sense for it all to come to a head when you’d been drinking.

However, facing him after everything...it feels impossible.

But you’re not about to let Jacob.

You take a deep breath before getting out of your car and looking the house over. You’ve been in this house a million times, but this feels so much heavier. It feels heavier and it feels wrong.

How are you supposed to go into the family house when you know you’re part of the reason it’s about to be broken up? No, you’re not the main reason, but it’s become very obvious didn’t start pushing hard for the divorce until you two started spending all your free time together. It also doesn’t help that you told him just how in love with him you are.

You let out an exasperated sigh and rest your head on the steering wheel. You owe Jacob, plus he said he’d be home soon. As long as you hide out in Jacob’s room and avoid Andy, you should be fine.

The second you get out the car, you race up the steps (not wanting to be seen my the neighbors for fear of them telling Laurie), grab the spare key from the inside of the porcelain frog that sits on the top step, and and practically run inside. You expect to be met with some sort of noise, but it’s eerily quiet.

“Hello?” you call out.

No response.

“Andy?”

Non response.

‘I guess he’s out with Laurie,’ you think to yourself with a shrug.

You check your phone and see that it’s 5:40. The plan was to head to the restaurant at 6, so you just have to hold out for a little bit. You quickly make your way upstairs, and stop right outside of the Barbers bedroom. Well, Laurie’s bedroom since Andy never sleeps in it anymore. For just a moment, you contemplate going in and grabbing one of Andy’s sweaters. It’s not like anyone’s home. You can quickly spray it with his cologne, throw it in the trunk of your car, and none on one would have a clue.

But you can’t.

Besides the fact that it’s stealing (and borderline crazy), it’s not going to help anything at all. In fact, sleeping in something of his that smells exactly like him, will only make it worse. You’ve got to stop. You complete your journey to Jacob’s room and lay down on his bed, hoping and praying that Jacob get home before Laurie and Andy do.

As much you try to fight it, you find yourself falling asleep, finally realizing just how tired you are. It makes sense, because you did spend last night crying over Andy.

Just like every other night.

You’re not worried because you know that Jacob will have no problem with waking you up loudly and rudely. You fall asleep hoping that, for once, your dream won’t be about Andy.

However, you know in your heart that it will be. Everything is always about him.

You’re awoken by a loud thunder clap, and you almost fall out of the damn bed. It’s pitch black and you can heavy raindrops against the window and the roof, and you try to figure out what fucking day it is.

You check your phone and see that it’s 10:30, you have three missed calls from Jacob, one unread text from him, and a flash flood warning.

Lovely.

The Dark Lord: I’m assuming you’re asleep. I’m so fucking sorry, when we were finally ready to leave, this stupid storm started. Sarah’s parents begged us to stay until it was over, but it only got worse. Now we’re 6 wine glasses in and in no shape to drive. Not to mention, this rain isn’t letting up any time soon. PLEASE stay at my house, I don’t want you driving in this shit, and I promise to make it up to you. I’m so fucking sorry.

You roll your eyes as you look at outside and see that Andy’s car is still the only car that’s at the house. Maybe everyone decided to stay where they were at.

Y/N: I’m finishing off the bottle of whiskey that’s in your room.

The Dark Lord: That’s more than fine. We’ll all out to breakfast or lunch tomorrow. Again, I’m so sorry. I love you.

Y/N: It’s fine, I’d rather you be safe more than anything else. I love you and tell Sarah I love her too. I’ll see you both tomorrow.

You toss your phone down onto the bed before grabbing the bottle he keeps tucked away in his bottom drawer. Deciding that you’re not in the mood to wear pants, you change into one of his hoodies while turning on his TV. All you’ve eaten today is a granola bar; you’re hoping that you’ll get drunk and knock out quickly. Even though you drink the bottle quickly, it’s not working: you’re at the end of the bottle and you’re only buzzed. You groan in annoyance and decide there’s no shame in raiding the Barbers’ alcohol cabinet since no one’s home.

You make your quick trek down the steps and you’re so focused on your task at hand that you don’t notice anything else around you. You just want to get back in bed and go to sleep.

“Watch your step, there’s glass,” Andy slurs, causing you to scream and jump at the same time.

“What the fuck, Andy?!”

“How did you not know I was here? My car’s parked outside.”

“I called for you when I first got here! I called for anyone!”

“Oh, I was knocked out. I was drunk by 3:30, slept it off. Woke up again at 7 and decided I was still thirsty.”

“What happened?”

“Nothing, I’m fine.”

“You’re drunk, not fucking stupid. Don’t lie to me.”

“What were you going to get?” he smirks, finally looking over at you.

“A glass and a bottle of something to drink so I can go back to sleep.”

“Grab a glass and have a drink with me.”

“Let me go put pants on.”

“It’s not like I haven’t seen your legs before.”

“This is different.”

“How so?”

“We’re alone.”

“Which makes it even better.”

“Andy-”

“Go grab your glass, honey,” he urges reassuringly, with a wave of his hand and a car dealer smile.

You ignore all of the voices in your head telling you not to do it; instead you watch your step and grab a glass from the kitchen. You take a deep breath and look at the pictures on the fridge: Jacob, his parents, Jacob and Andy.

‘Don’t do anything stupid,’ you tell yourself mentally before making your way back into the living room.

“Since when do you like the Turner Classic Movies channel?” you ask as you take a seat on the sofa.

“Well, ‘Maltese Falcon’ was on earlier and I wanted to impress you, then ‘Fall of the House of Usher’ came on and I just never turned the channel,” he shrugs and you laugh. “Sorry you got stuck here.”

“It’s fine. Better than being stuck in my apartment.”

“What’s wrong with that?”

“Needed to get out. I wasn’t doing good in there all alone.”

“You should’ve answered my texts or returned my calls.”

“And deal with having to face you? No thanks, I’m good,” you chuckle humorlessly as you pour yourself a drink, down it in one shot, and pour yourself another.

“Is loving me really so terrible?”

“It is when we can’t be together.”

“Why can’t we?” he asks, turning his full attention to you. “You got bangs.”

“Sarah said I should.”

“Good choice on her part, you look amazing. You always look amazing.”

“What happened, baby?”

“I lied to you,” Andy starts as he pours himself another drink, “I said Laurie only cheated once, which was complete and utter bullshit. The first time she cheated, it was a full on affair. They had hotel dates, he took her out to dinner and bought her flowers, fucked her a lot, but I forgave it because I wanted to try and make it work. She’s my wife, the mother of my son, and we’ve been together forever, so of course I wanted to make it work. Then, the night that I was at your place and we were watching ‘Vivacious Lady’, when I didn’t answer. She went out and cheated again.”

“What the fuck?! Andy, I’m so fucking sorry!”

“So, I’ve been pushing even harder for the divorce and she still refuses. She thinks I just need more time, which I very much don’t. I’m not in love with her, and the more that I think about it, I don’t think I ever was. Sure, I had feelings for her, but never like the feelings I have for you. Not even close. So, we got into an argument, she threw the glass down in frustration, she asked me if I’m in love with someone else and I told her yes, and she said that I just need time and we’ll talk about it when she gets back in the morning from her parent’s house.”

“Andy...I’m so-”

“Why are you sorry? What did you do? You didn’t tell her to cheat, you didn’t tell her to lie to me about it, and you sure as shit didn’t push her into someone else’s arms. She did that. If anything, I’m sorry. I keep telling you that I love you and then I don’t prove it. I don’t show it.”

“It doesn’t matter because we can’t-”

“Why can’t we be together, sweetheart? I’m leaving Laurie, one way or another, and Jacob will get over it. I love you and you love me, so why can’t we be together?”

“The town-”

“Fuck all of them. Who gives a fuck what they think? Who gives a fuck if they turn up their noses? You wanna move out of state? Let’s go. You want me to fight any asshole who gives you a hard time? I’ll fucking do it. I love you. I want to be with you. That’s not changing.”

“Andy-”

“Come here, sweetheart,” he coaxes softly, and it’s like your body can’t help but obey; it’s on auto pilot.

With your drink in hand, you slowly make your way over to him and straddle him, “I should go back to my place.”

“Not in this weather, and we both know you don’t want to. You belong right here with me, just like I belong with you.”

“How are we supposed to be together? Laurie will go out of her way to make your life miserable-”

“Isn’t that what she’s doing now?”

“Baby-”

“You are so fucking beautiful,” he comments softly as he looks you over. “So fucking beautiful and the best fucking soul I’ve ever known.”

“You’re drunk,” you basically whisper as you look over his features.

His grays aren’t necessarily noticeable, but the ones you see peeking out accent him well. He looks exhausted but not old, frustrated but not worn out, and anxious but not terrified. He looks like he just needs someone to take his mind off of things for a while, and you want more than anything to be that for him.

“Ya know, I really like your tattoos,” he chuckles as his hands smooth over your thighs.

“Yeah? You don’t disapprove?”

“Hard for me to do that when I have a few of my own.”

“Oh?”

“If you want, I can show you tonight.”

“What do you want?”

“I want to love you until you’re spent, honey,” he whispers hotly against your neck before kissing it.

“Andy, are you sure you want this?” you moan as you grind against him slightly.

“You don’t know how many times I’ve gotten off to the thought of you being a begging mess beneath me,” he groans as he starts rubbing your clothed clit, making you let out a desperate whimper. “Lace panties?”

“I didn’t...I didn’t think anyone would know. It’s laundry day.”

“Lucky me,” he chuckles, picking up his pace. “Ya know, if this thin material is already soaked, I wonder what that perfect little cunt feels like,” he smirks as he pushes your panties to the side, before lightly tracing over your aching lips. “God, this pussy is just begging for me, isn’t it?” he questions before easily sliding two fingers in you.

“Andy,” you moan softly, gripping one of his shoulders tight with your free hand, giving in to what you’ve wanted for so long.

“Aren’t you just the perfect girl?” he husks as he starts to slowly fuck you.

“Baby, please don’t stop!”

“I’ve barely done anything and you’re so ready for me to destroy you.”

“I haven’t been touched in so long...been dreaming of this, Daddy,” you whimper as he picks up his pace.

“God, I can’t wait to taste this fucking cunt! What a good little girl!”

“Andy!”

“Oh, someone’s close,” he smirks as he curls his fingers, rubbing that spot that brings you to life.

“Daddy please!” you cry out as you press your forehead against his.

“Cum for me, baby! I’ve been dying to taste this cunt and I can’t wait to be deep inside you.”

“Andy!” you cry out, cumming hard on his fingers as you get lost in the euphoria of it all.

He fucks you through your ecstasy, pressing soft kisses to your temple, as you try and come back down to reality. You’re well aware that there’s no coming back from the line you two just crossed, but you also don’t care. You don’t want to come back from it. The both of you held off long enough and it’s way past time for you two to truly express how you honestly feel for one another.

He slowly removes his two fingers before smearing your lips with them. Before he has a chance, you kiss him deeply as you grind your hips against his. He groans into your mouth, and it’s enough to send you off all over again.

“You taste so much better than I ever imagined,” he broods once you two break apart. “Tell me you want this as much as I do.”

“I’ve never wanted anything more,” you whisper, leaning in closer. “I think you should take what’s always been yours, Daddy,” you finish before gently biting on his ear lobe.

In almost a blink of an eye, Andy’s hold on your waist is tighter and he’s standing up as if you’re weightless. You wrap your legs around him before going in for another all consuming, passionate kiss, surprising yourself with just how well you’re able to keep a hold of your drink.

Andy only makes it halfway up the stairs before he’s pinning you against the wall, and furiously making out with you while grinding himself against you.

“Baby please,” you whine, desperate to feel his skin pressed against yours.

“Wait...waited so fucking long to have someone as perfect as you,” he breathes out as he trails kisses down your neck: “I wanna savor every moment of this.”

“You can have anything you want from me tonight, baby. You can take everything you want from me.”

He marches you up the hallway, a step at a time, pace quickening the closer he gets to the already open bedroom door. He kicks the door closed behind the both of you before gently letting you down off him and lying you onto the bed (you finally placing your drink down on the nightstand), leaning over you with an eager smile, raining kisses onto you like a spring shower.

Right as he’s about to pull off your panties, he stands up straight and takes a step back, “take off the hoodie.”

The command is soft, but is stern enough to let you know that he’s done being cute about everything. You keep your gaze on him as you sit up, before slowly removing Jacob’s hoodie, which leaves you only in your lace black bra matching your panties.

“Fuck.”

“Now, you have to show me something,” you encourage as you slide one of your hands down between your legs.

“Anything you want,” he husks as he fights the urge to start palming himself over his pants; his eyes never leaving you and your movements.

“Lets start simple, baby. Take off your shirt,” you moan, separating your legs so he can get a better view of you caressing your clothed clit, biting your bottom lip so you can suppress a moan.

It’s hard not to focus on the bulge in his pants and how much you want what he’s concealing inside your mouth, but the second his shirt is off, you can’t take your eyes off of his chest.

“Jesus.”

No, he isn’t littered in tattoos, but he has a few on his perfectly sculpted pecs, and his abs look like you can cut diamonds on them.

Andrew Steven Barber is perfect.

“My turn, get that fucking bra off,” he pathetically moans as he finally gives in and starts to palm himself over his pants.

You’re slow to stop your movements. You move your hands up to the back of your bra, unclasping it, letting it fall down in front of you; before removing your arms from the straps, letting it fall freely and tossing it to the side.

“Fuck me,” he growls as he starts to crawl on to the bed, but you hold up your foot to stop him.

“Gotta make it fair, Daddy. Pants off,” you pout as your hand resumes its place in the middle of your legs.

“Don’t keep me waiting, sweetheart.”

“Then take them off,” you demand with a moan and a seductive smirk.

He almost falls over with how fast he tries to get his pants off, but the second they’re off, you feel your cunt clench around nothing but the sight of him in his boxer briefs.

He’s about to ruin you for every other man.

He slowly crawls onto the bed before forcing your hand out of the way and ripping your panties off, “I’m done waiting.”

It’s not lost on you that Laurie and Jacob could come home at any moment, but you’re so far past the point of caring. The both of you have waited long enough and no one is doing anything wrong. You both did your best to be as responsible and mature about this as you could be. The waiting is over.

He belongs to you just as much as you belong to him.

“Andy,” you whine as he hooks your right leg over his shoulder, kissing up your inner left leg.

“Don’t be a brat,” he warns, slapping your cunt as he continues to kiss up your leg, changing once he reaches your thigh and he slowly runs his tongue up its lower side, teasing your clit with little kitten licks.

“Shit! ‘m...I’m so sorry, Daddy! Won’t do it again,” you promise with a silent cry as you grip his hair, grinding yourself against his face.

“Such a needy little thing,” he chuckles before teasing your entrance with three fingers, “this pussy... tastes like a fucking dream!”

“Daddy please!”

“Daddy’s gonna take care of you, don’t you worry that gorgeous little head of yours,” he coos before using his lips to pull on your clit, while he easily slides two fingers inside you.

“Oh God, yes!” you cry out, arching your back a little as your free hand squeezes the sheet. “Just like that, baby!”

Andy takes his time exploring you with his tongue, licking and sucking on your clit as if trying to commit it to memory, before removing his fingers and licking your soaked folds, while his thumb skillfully circles your clit.

“N-need you so much, please,” you mewl, releasing the sheet and starting to claw up his back.

If Laurie finds out, oh well.

“ ‘m so fucking close!”

It’s almost as if you’ve activated a primal need in him, because his mouth is instantly back on your clit, licking and sucking on it with more determination than before while sliding three fingers inside of you, curling them and hitting that spot that makes you blossom like a flower for him.

“Fuck!” you wail, squirting hard as you feel your body ignite all over from pleasure, curling your toes.

You try to regulate your breathing as Andy cleans up between your legs, but the thought of what’s to come has you writhing in pure want and desire. The only thing that brings you back is the feel of the tip of Andy’s tongue slowly making it’s way up your body.

“Please,” you whimper, arching your leg and scrunching up the sheets with your toes.

“What did Daddy say about being a brat?” he growls before taking one of your nipples into his mouth and swirling his tongue his tongue around it, while his hand takes the other, kneading it between his fingers before pinching it.

“I’m sorry, I-oh fuck! I just need to feel you! Dreamt of...oh my...Andy!”

“My sensitive, sweet girl,” he smirks against your nipple. “So, so needy.”

“Please!”

“This is the only time you’ll get rewarded for misbehaving,” he warns before resuming his painfully slow trail up to your lips.

Once his lips are finally on yours again, you grip him tight and moan at the taste of you that lingers on his tongue. You’re so wrapped up in him that you don’t notice him shimmying out of his boxer briefs. You’re on the verge of begging again, when you feel him pushing his way inside of you, his kiss swallowing your gasp.

“I swear this pussy was made just for me,” he grunts as he bottoms out.

“Oh my God!” you cry as he stretches you, trying to adjust to him, but loving the way he’s pulling you apart.

“You take me so well, baby,” he groans as he starts to fuck you hard and fast.

“S-so...so full!”

“Yeah baby? You like the way this fat cock stuffs your tight little cunt?”

“Oh fuck!” you sob, his filthy words pushing you closer to your release. “So much better than I imagined!”

“Of course my filthy girl thought about me fucking her stupid. That’s what you want right? You want Daddy to fuck you stupid?”

You moan in response, wrapping a leg around his waist, moving your hips along with his, digging your nails into his back.

Andy isn’t having that.

“Use your words, sweet girl, or I’ll stop,” he warns and it only turns you on more.

“Y-yes!”

“Yes what?”

“Y-yes I wan...want you to fuck me till I can’t think, Daddy! Fuck, right there! P...please!” you sob pathetically as a few tears escape your eyes from pleasure.

“That’s my good girl,” he smirks before dipping down and starting to bite and suck on the hollow of your neck.

“Jesus, you’re gonna make me...oh my God!!”

“Never want to be without you again,” he moans, sliding a hand down between the two of you, starting to massage your clit.

“Oh...oh, fuck!”

“I love you so much!”

“I love you...Andy! I can’t...mmm yes!”

“Let go for me sweet girl! Cum all over my cock!”

“Jesus, FUCK!”

Your cunt clenches tightly around Andy’s cock as you squirt hard. You start clawing at the bed, praying that you’re not ripping them, as Andy fucks you through your high. You know he’s whispering sweet nothings in your ear, but you can’t focus on anything except how good you feel all over.

“Such a good girl,” Andy praises as he pulls out while you whine at the emptiness you now feel. “Get on your hands and knees for me,” he instructs as he strokes himself while looking at the blissed out mess on his bed that is you.

When your only response is to stare at him blankly, a sinister smirk plays on his lips.

“We’re not finished yet, honey. Didn’t think I’d be able to fuck you so stupid, so fast,” he tsks as he flips you over with ease.

It’s not that you don’t want more, you’re brain just isn’t keeping up with anything at the moment. You’re slow to get on your hands and knees, but the second you are, you’re moaning in want.

You can’t get enough.

“Never thought you’d be so fucking amazing,” he grunts as he thrusts himself inside you. “You take Daddy’s cock so well, honey.”

“Please don’t...don’t stop,” you whimper as you strangle the pillows.

“This pussy is mine and mine only, got that sweetheart?”

“Only ever want you, Daddy,” you sob as he starts pumping into you faster. “I’ll only ever need you!”

“Never knew someone as perfect could exist, baby. Especially in my fucking world....shit! The way this pretty little cunt squeezes me is perfect!”

“Make me cum again, please! Fuck me like a pretty little whore so I can make a mess all over your bed, please!”

“Jesus Christ!” he growls, gripping your hair tight as he picks up his pace.

“Ah shit! Just like that! Fuck, you make me feel so fucking good! I love you so much!”

“Say it again,” he demands, before slapping your ass.

“Yes! Fuck, I fucking love you, Andy! I love...love you so much! “

“Fuck, let go for me baby! Give it all to me right now!”

“Fuck!” you shout, your orgasm demolishing whatever energy you have left.

Andy lets out a low and guttural growl as he wraps an arm around your waist as he paints your walls with his seed. He hunches over and leans his forehead against the back of your head, and you both try to regulate your breathing as you come down from your highs.

“You are everything to me, and I...I love you so much,” he breathes out after a moment. “Nothing will ever change that, I promise.”

“I just want you, Andy. I love you and I’m here for you always. I won’t turn my back on you. I won’t hurt you,” you promise softly.

Andy slowly pulls out and, if it weren’t for him guiding you, you would’ve collapsed onto the bed. After he gently lays you down, he walks out of the bedroom and you get under the covers and try to get comfortable, but you just want Andy to hold you. A small laugh escapes your lips when you look over to the nightstand and see your drink from earlier there.

Funny how a few drinks and a couple of confessions can change a night completely.

Reach over and down the rest of it, before laying on your back and going over the events that just happened.

“I can’t tell if you’re in a good mood or not,” Andy laughs, coming back in with a wet towel in hand. “What’s going on in that head of yours?” he asks as he pulls back the covers.

“I love you,” you smile at him as he starts to clean up the release between your legs.

“I love you too, honey,” he chuckles, “what’s going on?”

“Just...if...ya know what? Never mind.”

“Talk to me, sweetheart. This doesn’t work if we don’t talk to each other.”

“What even is “this”?”

“What’s wrong, baby?”

“If you don’t want this anymore after tonight...I understand.”

“Y/N-”

“I know you’re not a douchebag and I know you would never do anything to hurt me, but I also know that we’re both pretty fucking buzzed and upset. If you acted on impulse-”

“Hey, I love you. I have loved you for so long and this isn’t something I’m just going to be over tomorrow. I don’t want to just fuck you, even though it is insanely,” he smirks and you scoff. “I want to help you, support you, care for you, be your best friend, be someone you can count on, you can cry to. Y/N, I want to be everything for you, all the time, forever. I love you,” he smiles at you.

You sit up and pull him close, and you both get lost in a passionate and soul consuming kiss.

You never meant to fall for Andy, you never meant to add any complication to his life, and you sure as shit never meant to fall in love. However, when he makes you feel like you do now, you can’t seem to find a single reason to feel any shame or regret over anything you two have done.

You don’t feel an ounce of shame or regret over what you both have decided to start.

“Lets get some sleep,” you smile at him once you two break apart.

“Sounds good to me,” he nods before kissing your forehead.

He quickly discard the washcloth in the hamper, then gets in next to you and pulls you close. As you fall asleep to him peppering kissing along the side of your neck, you know that you’re going to be okay.

Everything is going to be just fine.

You giggle as you feel hairs tickle the inside of your legs.

Andy.

“What are you doing?” you laugh with your eyes still closed.

“Time for you to wake up,” he murmurs against the inside of your thigh.

“And what does you being in-between my legs have to do with me waking up?”

“It’s breakfast time and I’m starving,” he simply mumbles before licking your clit.

“Andy,” you gasp as you reach down, gripping his hair.

“That’s right, honey, come alive for Daddy.”

He slides three fingers into you with ease and you don’t stop the silent gasp that escapes your lips as he starts sucking on your clit. You didn’t appreciate it as much last night, because you were focused on what you truly wanted, but the feel of his beard hairs on your thighs only heightens everything for you.

“Fuck! Daddy, if you keep...oh God! Yes, yes....I’m right...GOD, YES!” you exclaim as you squirt hard on his fingers, more than sure that some of it got in his beard.

“What a good little girl,” he praises before cleaning up the mess between your legs.

You’re never gonna tire of the way he makes you feel, or the praise he gives you.

“We can’t do this!” you giggle as he kisses his way back up your body.

“Why?”

“She said she’ll be home in the morning, and it’s very much...fuck!” you whimper as he thrusts himself inside of you.

“I think after last night, we both know it won’t take me long to bring you off,” he teases as he starts relentlessly pumping into you.

“Daddy, I-”

“Andy!” Laurie’s voice rings out from the entry way as the door slams shut.

“Shit!” you whisper as Andy stalls within you almost instantly.

As you both lay there, sheer panic written all over your faces, you can’t help but think about what the future has in store for the both of you. Yeah, if Laurie catches you both, it’ll be hell to pay.

But what about Jacob? It’ll crush him and what will happen to your friendship. Both you and Andy scamper around as quietly as you can, as you do your best to avoid your panic attack.

“Andy!?” Laurie calls again as she searches around downstairs.

You both stop and look at each other, and the look on Andy’s face tells you that you’re both thinking the same thing:

What the fuck did you two just get yourselves into?

taglist: @maroonsunrise83, @fuckingbye, @emerald-evans, @whxre4cevans, @autumnrose40, @greeneyedblondie44, @whiskeytangofoxtrot555, @pono-pura-vida, @nomadstucky,

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