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gallusgalluss · 3 years

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a real rough Queen Eggabell doodle for this au i just thought of this morning, where instead of Lizbert, Eggabell’s the queen of bugsnax

(more info about the AU below, there’s a lot of text so be warned)

Okay so in this AU everything’s mostly the same, except instead of Lizbert being the Queen Of Bugsnax, it’s Eggabell.

The Journalist (you) is still on the island for the same reason; to find out what bugsnax are/if they even exist and interview Elizabert Megafig. So everything’s going on normally (normal for bugsnax, at least) until you reach the Frosted Peak.

Where you would normally meet Eggabell, Lizbert is there instead. And she’s just in an absolutely awful state. It looked as if she hadn’t slept in weeks, and sure as hell hasn’t been eating any snax. You quickly go up to her to interview her, which she does but isn’t able to answer all the questions clearly, so you’re left with more mystery.

You think the job is finally done, but then you remember that Liz has a partner you haven’t met yet. You ask her about Eggabell, but Liz is just… too depressed to even answer that. The Journalist feels like it’s best to just leave her alone for a while.

So after doing other stuff, you finally head back up to the mountain and find Lizbert staring at the stone grump statues. She’s crying. She’s talking to herself how distressed and sad she feels, about how she feels like she’s failed the expedition, how everyone lost their trust in her, and how she lost her partner to something that could’ve easily been avoided. There’s a short pause after that monologue, then she decides to actually try encouraging herself. She couldn’t just give up here, in the cold, snowy mountain, letting herself get weaker and weaker. Egg wouldn't have wanted that, she herself wouldn’t want that.

Her doubts aren’t completely gone, but she knew she had to actually try to do something, anything, to attempt to find Eggabell again. And then she sees you and gets scared as fuck.

The rest of the stuff between this and the party is basically the same as ingame; except you’re helping Liz instead of Egg. Oh and Filbo also meets up with Liz again and is so so happy to see his best bud again. Bestie Squad almost completely reunited.

Then the party happens yada yada ppl dance, gay ppl kiss, the earthquake hits and ruins everyone’s mood, same as ingame, Liz shows up, but there isn’t time to talk, it’s time to go to The Door.

So now it’s time to go to the Undersnax. Things happen, the gang’s separated, and then you finally meet the queen. It’s Eggabell! A very, very angry n stressed out lookin Eggabell. A personal theory I have is that “Snakmonsters” (or just any creature that has extreme snakifications) have this ability to actually speak to bugsnax; only in their mind tho, like a hivemind. Bugsnax themselves can’t speak, but they’re able to send these “brainwaves” to whatever being they’re trying to communicate to that’ll cause them to actually understand what they’re saying.

This is currently happening with Egg, it’s been happening ever since she fell into the Undersnax. Something like this would really affect her negatively, since ingame she’s shown to get easily overwhelmed by a lot of angry, yelling grumpuses. So having thousands of bug food parasites screaming in her mind is definitely not good, extremely overstimulating. The Journalist is actually the first one to see her and she doesn’t notice you at first, just there getting overwhelmed by all the bugsnax. It takes Filbo coming in to finally snap her out of it.

Her tone is real rough n serious, but she’s actually really glad to finally see someone familiar. The Journalist asks to interview her, and she begrudgingly accepts the offer. So like ingame she explains that bugsnax are actually parasites, they’re trying to destroy Snaxburg, and she’s the only one who can control them.

She just sorta went from “Wow I’m a burden on everyone, things are going wrong all because of me. Nothing bad would happen if I wasn’t here to mess everything up” to “Oh shit now I’m the one who has to keep this island together, I’m the leader now and I need to keep everyone safe or elses there will be nothing left.”

In contrast to Lizbert’s “I’m a proud leader who’s keeping everyone safe! This place is going to help them all out with their problems and make them all happy again!” and “I failed my task to lead everyone, I’ve led everyone to danger and it’s my fault everything’s like this. Holding this island together is the one right thing I could possibly do now.” thought process.

K so now Lizbert appears, and Egg is the happiest she’s ever been in weeks. She missed her wife sooo much y’all… They’re all lovey-dovey, Egg talks about how she lost her eye failing down here, they’re both food dragons now, and they throw you out of the volcano and the rest of “Escape from Snaktooth” happens.

Everything goes out as planned, everyone either goes onto the plane-boat-balloon thing safely or some of them die, and you’re left to see Egg and Liz in the now destroyed town of Snaxburg.

That’s about it, I don’t have any ideas for the post-escape part of this AU yet. sooo thanks for reading if u did :]

#long post #cluck cluck #this is basically just a swap au but with only 2 characters #i might make more stuff for this au i dunno it just popped up in my brain this morning lol #bugsnax #putting this in the tag who cares who caaaaaressssss #hi new followers pls be aware that this game has an iron grip on my brain for 10 months now #bugsnax spoilers #body horror

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cornerofcaelest · 3 years

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Some Makoto A/B/O Headcanons!

Content Warnings: This is mostly general information/background, but it is an omegaverse post, so if that doesn't float your boat, totally understandable, and now is a great time to go. Don't like, don't read, ya know? Have a great day! There is some talk about heat cycles but in a pretty informative/non-sexual way. Stay safe!

Spoiler Warning for Super Danganronpa 2: Goodbye Despair

Yeah, so I do write some omegaverse stuff on occasion, but it's not my main focus, and admittedly my world isn't super developed yet or anything like that. That being said, if I get anything wrong, let me know! Here are some details about Makoto as I see them in this AU in case I ever do decide to write about it more formally!

Makoto Naegi

Omega, but occasionally gets mistaken for a beta because he doesn't particularly stand out, and his overall demeanor is a bit unassuming

That being said, their scent is pretty sweet. Snickerdoodle cookie-type beat.

There isn't too much to say background-wise; he had the same average upbringing he did in canon.

In my universe, omegas aren't really discriminated against, though roles pertaining to second genders do tend to be enforced. Overall, though, every role is considered equally important in society. Being a stay-at-home parent is just as noble an occupation as any other, and omegas are respected and honored for their capabilities in these areas. They certainly aren't seen as weak or inferior.

All that being said, Makoto never really had any grief about their dynamic. He's fine with it, and he feels pretty comfortable with the gender roles associated with it.

Some of that omega instinct really becomes apparent when it comes to other people. On a basic level, he's just really nurturing and empathic towards his friends, and he'll fight for them tooth and nail if one of them is hurting.

Omegas are scary when you piss them off :'D.

Mom friend supreme.

They pretty much always have a nest built, though theirs always consist of a (seemingly) incoherent pile of soft things all thrown together in a lump.

I headcanon him with ADHD, and nesting is just really nice when he's feeling stressed or overstimulated. There's plenty of soft things to stim with, it's quiet, and it's an environment where he controls any and all of the sensory input.

That being said, as long as they're not in mental distress or heat, they're usually pretty chill with other people (friends, family, etc.) hanging out in the nest with them. Especially other omega friends.

Speaking of which, his heats are usually pretty mild. He doesn't take suppressants of any sort; he just takes a few days off when needed and deals with it as it comes.

He just gets really clingy and seeks a lot of physical affection

When he was single, this just manifested as feeling really snuggly and tired and drawn to soft textures, but after bonding with Kyoko the clingy level shot up to a hundred

Honestly adding Byakuya to the mix made it even worse

Also, they get the hella munchies in pre-heat. Mild nausea, increased stress, and sensory issues make it really hard for them to eat enough while they're actually in heat, so it's mostly to prepare

He tries to keep this in mind and make easy, safe food snacks ahead of time to mixed success

However it works out, they tend to manage just fine

This isn't 100% related to A/B/O specifically, but Makoto is still transmasc in this AU

It causes a bit of conflict with some of their traits as an omega

For example, he does really want to have kids someday, but particularly with the occasional misconception that he's a beta, the thought can be really uncomfortable and does occasionally lead to some dysphoria

And honestly, his second gender is a blessing and a curse in this way

Yeah, it can be a negative, but it also gives him an opportunity to try to reframe things. If a particular AFAB trait is bugging him, sometimes he can try thinking about it as an omega thing instead

Obviously, this doesn't erase the problem, and sometimes it doesn't help at all, but he tries to stay positive about it. It's just one coping mechanism among many; it doesn't magically fix everything

As I mentioned before, they're bonded with Kyoko, and eventually with Byakuya, too.

I could go on for ages about how the three of them end up together

They're already bonded to her by the time they even start courting Byakuya, though

Initially, it causes some tension between Kyoko and Byakuya, but honestly, the dynamic between the three of them is even better than it was with just Kyoko and Makoto

Say what you will about two alphas sharing an omega, but when you both have family businesses per se to run and a world to rebuild, it's not the worst arrangement. Particularly since Makoto can demand a lot of attention at times

Hey, he's just a people person. Socialization is important to him

The pack instinct is strong with this one

This applies to all of class 78

Also the Remnants

Makoto took one look at them and subconsciously adopted all of them

It's part of why he's willing to go so far to help them

Oops

Like I said, omegas are scary when you piss them off. Especially when you hurt their pups

(Yes they're all a year older than him. Does he care? No.)

Honestly, I could go on all day. There's a lot of specifics I could explore, but I'll just leave it at this for now! I've simultaneously put way too much and not nearly enough thought into this AU, so I'm sure you'll hear more eventually. For now, thank you, and I hope you have a great day! <3

#a/b/o #naegamigiri #tonaegiri #naegi makoto #makoto naegi #togami byakuya #byakuya togami #kirigiri kyoko #kyoko kirigiri #danganronpa #omegaverse #naegami #naegiri #omegaverse means a lot to me #especially makoto #I could go on about this all day #idk man the concept of gender vs. sex vs. societal roles is really fun to explore in this au #this post was initially about all three of them but y'all see how long just Makoto is #so I decided to hold back (ish) for once

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depressedhatakekakashi · 3 years

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AU: Modern or canon AU where Kakashi is autistic

I rly headcannon him as autistic or some sort of neurodivergent like myself and I’d love to see a fic exploring that. There’s only one on A03 at the moment, it’s called Drift and I’m in love with it!

Cannon: Autistic Kakashi

Words: 1348

Notes: I got a lot of help from @cryptic-summons for this one to ensure i was being respectful and correct (as, as far as I know I do not have Autism and thus this is not my experience). I carefully picked traits that matched with the Kakashi we know and love and went from there, so i hope you enjoy anon <3

Kakashi has always struggled with talking to people, always being considered rude or blunt with his words. He struggled the most with Obito, who always thought Kakashi was just trying to insult him, even when he was trying to help him.

Many of the kids Kakashi’s age didn’t like him at first, with Rin and Gai being the exceptions. They assumed that Kakashi was looking down on them because of his skill when in reality Kakashi was often just being very blunt. Speaking his mind without filter.

What often made things worse in other people’s opinion, was Kakashi’s negative reactions to physical affection such as hugs. He would always push people away, scolding them for invading his personal space.

Some people assumed that it was Kakashi’s way of saying that he didn’t want friends. That he just wanted to be left alone. It’s Gai who realizes that Kakashi gets easily overstimulated with physical affection and that he actually considers people his friends even when they think he wants nothing to do with them.

Eating certain foods has always been difficult for Kakashi because of texture issues that overload and mess with his senses. Vegetables that are cooked into mush, foods that are a mixture of textures (Tempure: Soft food under with a crunchy breaded shell), and certain foods must be carefully prepared before he can eat them (peeling off all the white bits of an Orange)

Because of his sensory struggles with food, Kakashi can be seen as very picky with what he eats. Refusing to eat foods that he knows will upset him in any way, and sometimes sitting there for what feels like hours taking off the white bits from Oranges, or peeling away the strings off of bananas.

It’s also a reason that he doesn’t like super spicy foods. The taste always puts his nerves into overdrive, which easily overstimulates him for the rest of the day and puts him in an unpleasant mood.

Stimming: When Kakashi’s feeling overwhelmed with sadness, he has a tendency to drum his fingers against his arm or leg. Something small that others often miss, but which allows him to take out some of his stresses and emotions without becoming the center of attention (which he has always avoided). He can also sometime’s get so overwhelmed that he finds himself unable to speak, simply listening to the conversations happening around him in silence. ‘Ara Ara’ is one phrase that he finds himself repeating a lot when feeling overwhelmed with problems happening around him, as it’s the easiest way for him to say ‘oh no’ without really telling people that he’s struggling to process and deal with what’s happening. On the rare occasion that he’s feeling an overwhelming sense of happiness that he feels the need to get out, he’ll often find Gai or someone else that he is close to (Tenzo, Anko, Kurenai and Asuma being his other top options), grab hold of their shirt sleeve and give it a few quick tugs. It’s something small that many can mistake as him trying to get their attention, but all of his friends know that it’s his best way to get out that excess feeling of happiness that he doesn’t know what to do with.

Kakashi has always been considered gifted from a young age, especially when it comes to tactical planning and leading. Although he has difficulties interacting with people on a personal level, he is a skilled leader capable of making some of the best tactical plans. For Konoha, this is a bonus. Something that they want to see in more kids, and thus something that’s not recognized as a neurodivergent like some of his other traits.

One reason that Kakashi wears his mask is because of the comments he heard as a kid about his lack of facial expressions. How he never seems to show the same emotions as other kids. Not wanting to listen to those comments anymore, Kakashi decided instead to wear a mask so that people wouldn’t be able to see the emotionless look on his face.

Rules have always been a Hyperfocus for Kakashi, ever since his father’s death. Following the rules was important to him as a kid, and when rules changed or the ideas around them shifted Kakashi would struggle. His main fight was with the clashing idea that one had to get along with and work with their team, but if it came to choosing between the team and the mission, the mission had to come first. This was always Kakashi’s biggest struggle as he couldn’t understand why he had to work well with people that he was expected to leave behind if they found themselves in danger.

Separation Anxiety is something most people wouldn’t assume Kakashi has to deal with, but he does actually struggle with when it comes to being on long missions away from Gai or Tenzo. Gai is his oldest friend and closest person, and Tenzo is his other closest friend and the person that he spends the most amount of time with while in Anbu. So when he finds himself away from them too long he begins to get antsy and annoyed. It’s only when he can get back to the village and find them to spend some time together that he can really start to relax again.

Hyper focuses are something that people don’t realize that Kakashi has because his main hyper-focus is his Icha Icha books. Something that he rereads over and over again, stays up late reading, forgets to do work in favour of, and is rather passionate about. Because of the contents of the book, people often dismiss Kakashi’s love of it as him simply being a pervert, but in reality, Kakashi really does love the escape from his own reality that the book provides him, the security of knowing that everything turns out alright and no one dies, and the safety of being able to focus a lot of his attention on it without seeming ‘childish’ or ‘silly’

One area that Kakashi struggles with a lot, is switching tasks. When his focus is set on one task he finds it hard (if not impossible) to stop mid-way through his task and start on something else. Kakashi always has to finish the task at hand before beginning the next one, and if for some reason he’s forced to switch he will get easily distracted thinking about the unfinished task. The people around him have to learn to allow him to complete what he is doing where they first approach him with a new task. Something that is extremely difficult for Naruto when Kakashi first becomes his Sensei, and which causes a lot of clash between the two for a while until Naruto starts to learn that Kakashi isn’t trying to ignore him or push him off to the side, but simply needs time to do what he has already started before focusing on what Naruto needs from him.

Kakashi has always kept his living space clear of clutter and rather bare compared to others. Seeing too much in one space can be visually overstimulating for him, making it hard for him to focus. Every evening before he goes to bed he cleans his living space so that it can feel more organized and relaxing, allowing him to sleep a little better (though sometime’s nightmares will ruin that for him anyways)

Gai is the person Kakashi always looks to when it comes to other people’s emotions. Since he struggles with telling how others feel and Gai understands that, he tends to look towards his friends when he’s not quite sure how to approach someone. When his brain just isn’t making sense of the emotions going on around him. Gai’s more than happy to show him how to respond and to pull him back if he’s coming off as rude or brash, but he’s also happy to tell someone that they’re misinterpreting Kakashi’s words/emotions. To make sure that no one is hurt by a misunderstanding on either side. Kakashi appreciates that a lot.

#Hatake Kakashi #Autistic Kakashi #AU #600 Followers Event #Cannon divergent

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cheeriecherry · 4 years

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can i pls rq hcs of bakugou with a s/o with tics? they come with my adhd and i have either happy tics which happen when im excited or i enjoy something, or negative tics when im overstimulated/overwhelmed by something. this morning at 3 am i had a really bad attack because my body was shaking but i couldnt move to release tension. my most common negative tic is where i hit/ punch myself and i alwaus end up hurting after an attack. i need comfort smh :')

Oh god I relate to this, I didn’t know it was an adhd thing too though! When I’m excited, my fingers are always wiggling, but if im like, really uncomfortable or theres Too Much of something I end up pinching my arms and thighs TvT

Trying to sleep is like, the worst though right? Just laying there is Boring and it feels like my insides are crawling with TV static.

Anyways enough of my rambling, back to the show! I’m gonna use some of my tic habits in this too so just be warned lol

-So I’m expanding a little on my old post about bnha x adhd!reader

-So Baku already knows you have ADHD, and he’s somewhat accustomed to it. There’s a lot to it that he hasn’t seen yet, or that you don’t show him because you’re shy (or haven’t gotten around to).

-He notices the little things about you once you start dating, the fine details of your adhd. You’ve always had them, but as his SO he’s paying more attention to you and your habits.

-He still doesn’t get why you have tics sometimes, but that’s just because he doesn’t have adhd. The leg bobbing and pen clicking can get on his nerves sometimes, but he’s learned to keep an eye on you to watch out for when you’re getting restless.

-Usually if he sees you’re starting to get wound up, he’ll order a break from whatever you guys are doing to go for a short walk, either outside or around the dorms. Just something to get you moving, and to give you a small change in scenery. Different sets of stimuli, y’know?

-He’s done a little bit of research on what adhd is, but most of what he’s learned has come from you, so his knowledge is really catered to your specific needs.

-Lowkey thinks some of your excited tics are cute. The way your fingers wiggle when something has caught your attention, or the way you squirm in your seat when you’re excited for something. Even they way you write things in the air when you’re trying to keep track of your thoughts.

-They’re things that are very you, and he thinks all of you is cute. But he’d never say that out loud....or at least not in public. If you’re alone and he’s prompted, he’ll mumble out a quiet compliment and then turn pink in the cheeks. Try not to tease him too much, even if it’s easy. Give him a hug or something instead and thank him, or give him a quiet moment of affection. It’ll help him open up and get a bit more comfortable with relationship stuff.

-The first time he sees one of your negative tics, he doesn’t actually see it happen.

-What I mean is, he sees a bruise on your cheek, and being the concerned boyfriend he is, he wonders (abrasively) where you got it. It looks pretty fresh, but he doesn’t remember you getting hit in the face during training.

-If you’re like me, then you’ll probably try to play it off as an accident. Like ‘oh I slipped in the shower’ or ‘I got stuck and accidentally smacked myself’. He’ll give you the benefit of the doubt the first time, maybe even the second time, but he’s definitely clued in to how his simple question flustered you.

-By the third time he finds bruises on you, he’s actually starting to get worried. A little piece of him wonders if someone’s treating you badly, another student if you’re in the dorms. That’s when he’d pull you aside and ask you about it seriously. If it’s something you’re keen on hiding, he at least has the tact not to blurt it out in front of everyone.

-It’s kind of stressful telling him about your tics, like ‘you know how sometimes when I’m happy that my fingers do the Thing?’ and he’s like ‘yeah’ and you’re like ‘well it goes both ways. When something’s too much or I’m overwhelmed, the tics still happen.’

-He’s like ???? so you’ll have to explain further, how if you’re overstimulated, it can be physically painful and can send you into a panic attack. Like plugging fifty cords into one socket, something’s gonna break, the power’s gonna shut off, or a fire’s gonna start.

-It clicks for him that the bruises on your body are from your own hands. He definitely wants to scold you, or ask why, but he sees how you’re starting to close off a little and get overwhelmed now, so instead he pulls you into a hug.

-He’ll want to try and figure out something else to get the energy out of you, something less harmful. Even if it’s potentially embarrassing for either of you, it’s better than hurting yourself.

-It doesn’t really work like that Baku, but he’s trying.

-He assures you that there’s no shame in something you have no control over, and also that he’s not ashamed of you. He’s always gonna stick up for you and fight off assholes who talk shit.

-But he does his best convince you to tell him when you’re feeling overwhelmed, so he can be there for you however you need him. Whether it’s getting you out of a place with too much stimuli, or squishing you real tight to calm your nervous system down. He’ll even offer you his arm to pluck at, instead of using your own skin.

-Which, again, isn’t really how it works, but it’s the thought that counts. (Explain to him that the plucking and punching isn’t just for the release of energy, but also to change the sensations your body is experiencing).

-He starts carrying a couple of fidget toys in his pockets for you, in case you forget yours, as well as a little teeny tub of clay for you to squish and shove your fingers into when you start getting the urge to claw and scratch.

-If sound is a big issue for you (it is for me oof) then he’s gonna invest in a really nice pair of noise cancelling headphones for you. As a boyfriend gift, from him to you. It’s probably stupid expensive, but it’s his way of saying ‘I want you to be okay and be able to cope’.

-All in all, he tries his best to notice when you’re starting to get riled up, and he’ll try to get you out of the situation or help you cope. But if you’re already in a bad way, then he’s not going to judge you for it, and he’ll help you treat any bruises or scratches you’ve obtained. And if you want to talk about it, he’s good to listen, but if you don’t, then he’s good to cuddle on your bed and let you play with his hair.

-TL;DR he tries his best and loves you a lot.

#bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #bnha x reader #mha x reader #bnha headcanons #mha headcanons #reader has adhd!#like me!#Anonymous

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cupidlakes · 3 years

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i’ve been loving your mcc thoughts so much! if it isn’t too neg to post would you mind answering why You thought the green guardians didn’t do so well

aww thank you so much!! i’ve been trying to refine my mcc knowledge actually because it’s so fun to talk abt but i don’t wanna seem like an idiot lolol BUT if you want my extremely humble opinion i think it somewhat has to do w/ dream, dreams leadership specifically and this is not to place the burden of responsibility on him the bottom line is just that people expected dream to have a plan for his team and also to help get the captain get his first win

it’s well known that dream is like that in the sense that he’s usually very prepped for mcc! has many thoughts, if not on paper then in his mind, on What To Do and i think that’s why the gg were projected to do well or at least decently by so many because people expect that of him at this point, i know i did

but it obviously seems like dream felt the pressure this time around and it affected his ability to lead his team and it’s just sad to me that he both didn’t end up enjoying the tournament to the fullest extent and partly takes responsibility for the loss/his own performance

i think the beginning games chosen lent themselves to everyone’s wretched mood like getting build mart as a first game and doing poorly even if it doesn’t technically matter because of the coin multiplier in the later games (and george mentioned this! “it’s for morale dream”) i still don’t think it helped for their general mood to do so badly as a team and the “morale” was down from the start with george getting easily frustrated too with the increasing changes, possibly focussed on his goal of tryharding, quackity not knowing what to say a lot of the time because he’s still fairly new to mcc and the captain trying his best but it not being enough to raise everyone’s spirits

back to build mart the communication wasn’t there the callouts weren’t there and no one was taking initiative, there was a lot of confusion due to the lack of communication and dream was feeling overwhelmed or even, i’m assuming, overstimulated by the music and texture pack and it was just a bad first game w/ the other ensuing games following a similar trajectory, george even turning to dream for advice or pointers, just any direction and dream being unsure and wary every time, like telling them they might not want to follow him bridging on tgttos as a strat because he didn’t trust himself not to mess up and i don’t wanna overdramatise this but i really do think dream was feeling the brunt of it, i’m so glad he wasn’t outwardly salty about his placement towards the end esp, he was accepting despite harsh on himself

he might’ve had a lot on his mind too we can never know, ik his 1.15 record got taken down later on by the mod team and this is more speculative ofc but it might have been something he was thinking about because i’m assuming (and it’s confirmed we just don’t know how long ago) that they mentioned it to him beforehand and it’s not the first time he’s had smth brought up to trouble him during mcc

atp i just want dream to know that in the future if he starts feeling like this in future mcc’s he should just let go and enjoy himself with his team, mess around have a laugh because it’s totally okay and it’s not expected that he should stress himself out and feel stressed out with his teammates about performing well. ik his reputation can mean a lot to him, living up to standards performing to people’s expectations and even exceeding them to seem worthy of everything he has and also obviously wanting to appeal to his pride and competitive nature but he’s just a guy. it’s okay to take a day off every once in a while again i hope if dream ever starts feeling like this again that he just has a good time w/ his team/friends and doesn’t bother himself with all the “what if-s” like he tends to do

gg had great potential but everyone and it seems especially dream wasn’t feeling it and that’s fine, til next time! i hope this means dream will reflect on how he wants to play in the future because a more casual approach if he’s not feeling up to it is always welcome and the same goes for literally everyone else dream said it was still fun despite his comments! and that’s really nice to hear also

#asks #WAKE UP BABE TIME FOR ANOTHER MINECRAFT YOUTUBER DISSERTATION AGAIN #very #long post #analysis #lmk if i should tag as neg jic because it’s not neg to me just a look at their performance #:]#even if this post is sadder in tone it’s just me being like !!! dream stop beating yourself up #there can also be a lot to be said for the boys not having plans for non-pvp games /like/ build mart which is alwasysss their downfall #and i feel like they were gonna rely on dream for that #too #this just makes me realise everyone relies on dream man #but yeah #just honestly honestly hope it doesn’t get any of them down too bad and that they genuinely anticipate the next mcc #even if it’s just for fun #mcc 14

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capriccio-con-espressione · 5 years

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N(oona) C(raving) T(endencies)

This is my 3k words of analysis of NCT members who I think are likely to have a noona kink based on the ask. Enjoy!

Disclaimer:

By this I am not saying that other members not mentioned here don't have any possibility to date an older female/enjoys referring to their dommes as noona, it's just like the tendency/preference isn't that clear or obvious in my opinion. Do not send in rude comments just because you disagree though I will appreciate some feedback.

Warning: Sub!Taeyong, Sub!Jungwoo, Sub!Mark, Sub!Xiaojun, Sub!Jaemin, Domme!Reader, Femdom, Noona kink, Degradation, Whipping, Spanking, Pegging, Public humiliation, Role-play, Oral sex, Sex toys, Dry humping, Dildo riding, Mentions of mental health issues/negative emotions

Taeyong

This boi is insufferably kinky and subby

In Baby Don't Like It he stated he likes it rough

In Whiplash he literally emphasized again how much of a painslut he is

And his ideal type is “Someone who can teach me, lead me, and make up for my flaws.”

To conclude this, Tyongie may be craving for a strong, mature female's guidance when he's lost and insecure, a noona domme who can heal all the anxiety, stress and inner guilt he's been through by her ruthless discipline, plus, the age hierarchy implied in the title will allow him to sink into his headspace even more.

He's such a sucker for this torment that, with one stern look from you, he will automatically strip naked and ready himself in the humiliating positions assigned by you before without any spoken command, and obediently waits for the first slap/whip while trembling in both anticipation and thrill

I can totally picture him begging his noona for more punishment, though already red, sore and sobbing

"...Ahhh noona I'm sorry... *sniffles* please punish me more for being a bad, ill-mannered boy...don't stop mmmff-"

However, that being said, if that noona domme is actually younger than him, he may be down for the added humiliation due to the role reversal

Imagine that younger domme dismissively orders him to call her "noona" in public, and commands him to use honorifics to speak to her, the exact type and wording that make him sound humbled…

He will be turned on by that while people around you shoot puzzled gazes toward you as they wonder why the hierarchy dynamics aren’t in the right place, making Taeyong feel embarrassed as well as aroused

By the way, some role-plays can be added to spice up your sex lives as well, e.g. CEO x employee, professor x student, guard x prisoner, to name a few, as long as you are in power and makes sure to beat the naughtiness and disobedience out of him

Though being intensely kinky during the session, aftercare for this precious boy has to be really fulfilling as well

So you have to be able to play an attentive caring role just like a noona (a little bit maternal figure as well, I have to admit)

Make sure the process is all intimate and brimming with praises, reassuring the broken figure that the "bad boy" is "forgiven" to thoroughly sew up his wounds

Bubble bath, scented candles with calming aroma, sensual massage with essential oils of his favorite scent and texture, or having some good quality snacks while cuddling, are all good options for aftercare because all of them can reinforce the idea that he’s “worthy” of anyone’s love and attention due to the physical contact and interactions allowed in them

So steamy and sensual that if done correctly, Taeyong may be in the mood for another round of vanilla sex to get an extra gratifying orgasm again

Jungwoo

A clingy little pup that will follow you around and will cutely pout when not given enough attention or skinship

Loves to be babied and taken care of, so he would love the accompany of a sweet caring noona to make him feel at ease (borderline mommy kink as well)

Remember that Valentine's Day Facetime vid where he just referred to the viewer insert as "noona"? That probably implied his preference for an older female figure

Will do anything to please you since he's very love-starved and doesn't want you to feel uncared for because he knows too well how much that sucks, he will shower you with the same amount of affection he expects from you as well

Anxious and always worries about if he's still "needed", so that's why he will opt for a perspicacious noona to counsel him for his delicate soul to rely on, and shower him with the adequate amount of love then pamper him

Melts at cute pet names such as pup, angel, prince, little fairy, snoopy or any endearing terms because they make intimacy upgrade to another level

May act a bit playful or even borderline bratty from time to time, mainly to spice things up and get some sexy punishment to release his excess nervousness

But hardcore stuff definitely isn't for him, since the soft boy can't tolerate much pain.

Light impact play on his erogenous zones is fine, but he enjoys the feelings of vulnerability and exposure more rather than the pain itself

The type to let out loud moans even when just getting his underwear peeled down because the instant when the air hits his flesh is a huge turn-on for him, so much to the extent he is yearning to beg you to fuck him just from getting naked

Very sensitive, literally gasps, squirms and grinds every time when you caress or slap his sweet zones and will beg you to stop though you know he's enjoying it too much

Will repeat your title like a mantra as if it's the only thing that can keep him sane

Be wailing like "Hnnngh noona pretty pleeaase stop spanking me ahhh noona no I'll be a good boy pleaseee it stings noona I'm sorryyy hahhh" but the way how his hips rock against your lap will betray his words, giving you more reason to torture him

Loves being pegged and used, or getting his all possible sensitive spots stimulated and stuffed at once because he just lusts after every inch of his body being thoroughly pleasured inside-out, and drown in the depths of overstimulation and hedonistic ecstasy to feel completely loved and secured

Edging is really suitable for this delicate boy because of the enhanced experience after prolonged denial, which makes the orgasm more earth-shattering than ever

Though he will be a teary puddle and begs you to end the ordeal, the uncertainty and feebleness associated with edging will turn his mind into a soaring frenzy state even more, enabling him to release all his pent-up frustrations and negativity while finally allowed to empty his balls

Likely to get emotional and will hold on to you very tight during post-climax aftercare due to the intense sensation that just washed through his mind and body, feeling extra fragile and really needs to be thoroughly cared for

Petting his head, kissing his tears away with "I love you"s constantly coming out of your lips is a must, as he drifts to sleep like a fallen angel nestled in his safe space, which is the warm spot between your chest and your arms

Mark

An easily flustered mess when it comes to straightforward proactive girls

Having left his family and devoted himself to the industry at such a tender age, he may want to be the more passive, dependent one in a relationship to make up for his lost adolescence

So he's probably looking for someone who he can rely on and takes the initiative in bed, while all he has to do is to close his eyes and enjoy himself

When he finds you, to whom he trusts enough to pour his doubts and perplexion about life, and is always guaranteed to receive some really thoughtful response, he sees you as someone very valuable.

But more than that, you are a woman who seems to have endless fuel of passion, the exact type with whom Mark can replenish his strength when he got engulfed by the abyss of stress

Also, you are notably witty with words that sometimes aids his lyric writing process, but that means he can never win against you in any friendly bickers as well, especially when you cite some of his lyrics to roast him that renders him speechless.

Yet somehow, he gets hooked to the feeling of being a powerless flustered bundle in front of you

Gradually it develops into dirty imagination of you manipulating him into a mindless mess

And you are exactly the burning blaze that will scorch his body with vehement desires, make him so depraved yet still internally demand more

Never did he realize that being obedient for a noona figure will feel this good until he met you, his ideal match

You will guide him how to touch himself properly like a big sis, then demonstrate it yourself followed by some edging, as he whimpers at the sense of loss every time his build-up is ruined, pleading you with those big puppy eyes

And when you get to peg him, he will love the feeling that he's completely owned by you, getting his ass spanked while fucked also serves as a good reminder of who he belongs to

Doesn't talk much during sex to indulge fully. Expect some incoherent moans and weak chants of your title from him instead

But the boy also knows how to reciprocate when he's ordered to. He knows how to work that rapper tongue too well even if his brain is not fully functioning

His tongue can do wonders to your folds and is guaranteed to perform great with your strap in his mouth, looking up at you with those pretty doe eyes all the time to see if you like how he's doing

Will probably require some time and space for himself to just chill and cool down during aftercare instead of being very clingy, all you need to do is to make sure he’s comfy, or place a glass of drink he likes beside him while he’s organizing his thoughts or doing anything that fits his mood.

No extra words or skinship is needed at this moment because based on your understanding and observations of him, he’ll be fully recharged when you decide he is most of the time

Xiaojun

A sensitive, sentimental bub that ponders a lot about lots of things

Passionate about music, and perhaps some classic literature or philosophy

So he may want his partner to share the same interests so he can love the way she wanna talk even more

Likely to crumble for a woman who’s sophisticated, cultured and speaks in a refined manner, and is often willing to discuss some profound matters with him, to the extent sometimes Xiaojun cannot keep up easily and may feel a bit flustered, but is secretly admiring her wits deep down while she’s patiently explaining some new art concepts or ideas to him

Hence, when he finds you, who is capable of playing that role and opening up new worlds to him, he is not only delighted but also excited and intrigued, anticipating every chance to talk to you more but when he finally seizes the opportunity, he will appear to smile shyly, avoiding your gaze all the time but whenever he slightly peeks at you, his eyes will be glittering with dreamy haze of enchantment

Because to him, knowledgeable women seem to have boundless potential that makes them distinctively mysterious as well as alluring, and he’s all about succumbing to that vast endearing wilderness, with you being the compass controlling his every move (lowkey sapiosexual I guess)

The fact that you are the embodiment of versatility, artistic grace, and mellow charisma, yet all cordial to him just like a jiě jie (noona in Mandarin) next door will flutter his heart as he falls for you even more

So once you finally end up in bed, he will be very enthralled and eager to please, and will literally subserviently worship every inch of your body as if you are a Goddess while complimenting you all the time

Yet not long after he will be amazed by another fact about you, that is, you are the definition of the saying “Sweet in the streets, freak in the sheets”

Xiaojun will soon find himself restrained while bent in compromising positions, with toys he never imagined a sweet person like you will ever own torturing his body and lust-crazed soul, as you whisper nasty degrading things to him, skewing and corrupting some classic literary works during the process, which makes him intoxicated in another sinfully imaginative aspect of your mind

Since he’s a sucker for anything about you, neglect play is a perfect way to torment him.

Chain him up and place a toy on him, which can be either a vibrator or a prostate massager, before leaving him untouched, and watch him writhe and moan helplessly in unsatisfied heat, with his distinctive brows furrowed, eyes glossy with plead and need, a beautiful image perfect to be ruined

Open to lots of kinks since you are able to make them gratifying and mind-blowing every time as he becomes closer to your ideal notion of subby boy toy with every progress

Will still remain a blushy mess when ordered to beg or admit something humiliating even after getting fucked multiple times, though he likes it so much

Something simple and lewd like “jiě jie please come in and fuck my slutty hole” “My pathetic dick only exists to be ravished by jiě jie” works well for him as he finally climaxes

This precious pretty boy is not all passive when receiving aftercare. Instead, he will sensually plant kisses all over your body while telling you how good you made him feel and how deeply he loves you

Melts and buries his face into the crook of your neck or sheets later on when you say the same back to him and praise him for taking you so well

Few moments of silent bliss will pass between you before you guide him back to reality again

Jaemin

Another little painslut that wishes to be tamed and roughed up

His tolerance of pain may not be as high as Taeyong, but he likes the humiliation as much as the older does

Being an idol is stressful and suppressing, so he desperately needs to find some release through some pleasurable pain for the endorphin rush

Preferably receiving it from a noona-like figure who definitely knows what she’s doing, and again the hierarchy from her title will enable him to feel floaty and more deserving of the punishment

He’s the type to be horny really often and does barely anything to hide it, qualifying him as a very communicative, responsive and expressive sub

So he acts up all flirty and bratty in front of females who he deems as potential targets, to evaluate who’s probably sadistic enough to cater to his needs judging from their reactions, and of course, your dismissive attitude and sharp chastisement on his behavior intrigue him

Then he will make a further approach to gain your attention, from unsolicited winks and aegyo to cheesy pick-up lines, even going as far as some skinship that you are smart enough to know how intentional it is, all screaming brat demeanor that gets you irritated and riled up

Once he finally successfully gets you to bare his bottom and bend him over your lap, he’s a mesmerized moaning mess while enjoying basking in your tauntingly degrading words, admitting he’s noona’s dimwitted slut even before you ask him that

But of course, a sound spanking is still not enough to quench his submissive needs, he will literally shamelessly beg for more

In a provocative way

He will blatantly seduce you, from inappropriately touching you to straight-up humping you until you lose it to punish him for being obnoxiously needy, tying him up and dishing out toys or other implements that can deliver even more intense pain

At first, he will feign reluctance by pouting or complaining how much it hurts even though it’s still far from what he is able to take, in order to infuriate you and provoke more out of what you can give him

Being insatiable as he is, after some pain inflicted on him, he will reveal his true masochistic self and directly asks you to punish him harder just like Taeyong will do, but Jaemin’s self-degradation will be much more hardcore and a bit creative

“Noona please do it harder! Ahh- I’ve been badder than that! Make your naughty indecent-minded whore cum just by paddling me because I’m that pathetic mmmff-”

When you are dicking him down, he will beg you to destroy his hole and be really graphic about it, making his intentions of wanting you to abuse him like a fucktoy utterly clear to drive you wilder, with that iconic blissful smile plastered on his pretty features

He will be obsessed with your powerful strength while ramming into him so much that he will masturbate by riding a dildo while moaning loud enough for you to take notice and break into the room

After you are pissed that he’s playing with himself without your permission, he will be all like “But I missed noona’s big mighty cock so much that I can’t wait hnnnghh noona please come punish my horny hole and make it so swollen and sore that it won’t whore up ever again pleeaaseeeee”

You will definitely be so sexually active and satisfied with him as your sub because of his neediness and salacious talk to ignite your dominant desires

Even though he enjoys getting fucked all over to earn some revival to his work-drained soul, and appears to recover really quickly after orgasms, even capable of engaging in some playful conversations with you, it’s still likely for him to feel hollow and internally worn out due to the drastic neurochemical change but he won’t make it obvious

So you will need to be really observant and keep reassuring him for his well-being because all the excessive stress he’s been struggling through that makes him this submissive is stemmed from his desperate needs for praise and recognition

That’s also one of the reasons why I think he will be into a noona domme because approval from superiors is relatively more rewarding

But with proper aftercare, he’ll stay hooked to you and continue to pleasure both himself and you with matching kinky desires

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the-casual-reply · 4 years

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Unmasking: Living with Autism in a Neurotypical World

The following is an original oratory I wrote and performed at my school speech contest! I am very proud of it so I thought I would share. This was written to be performed to a largely NT audience, so don’t be surprised when it assumes that you (the reader) are NT. My main motivation for writing this was raising awareness and partially out of frustration at the societal lack of knowledge about autism. (Fyi it’s like 5 pages long sorry gamers)

My name is Chloe [redacted] and I am autistic. This term is highly stigmatized, and for my entire life I’ve heard it used in mostly negative connotations. It has taken me a long time to even feel comfortable saying that I am autistic because I fear being judged and stereotyped. Today I am here to teach you that autism is not scary nor is it a bad thing, but it can make life difficult in a world made by and for neurotypical people, and I’m here to teach you what you need to know to be an ally and a friend for an autistic person.

When I was diagnosed with autism around a year ago, I was devastated. Everything I thought I knew about myself had suddenly been taken away from me. I felt like all the achievements, experiences, and feelings of my past self were stripped from me, and I didn’t know what to do. So, I decided to do some research. And as I learned more and more, I slowly reclaimed my identity. All these things that had previously confused me were suddenly explained, and as I noticed more and more autistic traits within myself, I learned not to be afraid or ashamed of them, but to embrace them as a part of myself.

Many who are reading this right now may wonder how this applies to you. Many of you probably don’t know an autistic person, or so you think. Here’s why it should matter: about one in sixty people has been diagnosed as autistic. That means, statistically, you interact with an autistic person about every other day, and that’s not considering those who go undiagnosed. That means that every other day, you impact the life of an autistic person, and they impact your life. Many people will hear that and wonder if it truly matters that the person you may be interacting with is autistic.

And I, as an autistic person, am here to tell you that it does matter. Autism affects every single aspect of a person’s life. It affects their sensory needs, their ability to communicate, their problem solving strategies, their performance in school or at work, their social needs, and countless other aspects of their identity. Many people with autism experience high levels of social anxiety due to trends of ostracism or exclusion throughout their lives. Because of this, a seemingly trivial interaction may greatly affect an autistic person in a different way than it would for an allistic (not autistic) person. Every day, autistic people are put into stressful and draining situations, where they often don’t have anyone to help them. So, today I want to help educate more people on what autism is, what it does, and how you can help positively change the life of an autistic person.

The most noticeable difference between allistic and autistic people is that autistic people are much more sensitive to sensory input. A setting that may be normal to an allistic person may be extremely overwhelming to an autistic person. For example, bright or flashing lights, strong scents, overlapping or loud noises, and unpleasant textures or tastes are common sources of uneasiness or distress for us.

On top of physical overstimulation, many autistic people also struggle with emotional overstimulation. Many autistic people absorb the moods of the people we spend time with due to our hypersensitivity to their feelings, and we experience emotions to a much stronger extent than allistic people usually do.

When an autistic person experiences intense feelings such as happiness or anxiety, they use a coping mechanism called ‘stimming’. Stim is short for ‘self-stimulatory behavior’ and it refers to a repeated motion or action that dispels energy that is being absorbed by the person due to their surroundings. My favorite stims are hand flapping, repeated blinking, contortion of the face, spinning, and repeating verbally satisfying words or sounds. By stimming, I can dispel some of the high levels of energy or strong emotions caused by my surroundings.

Stimming is essential to the health and wellbeing of autistic people. But it can also be dangerous. Autistic people risk being judged, bullied, ostracized, abused, and even arrested when stimming in public. Because stimming and other signs of overstimulation are similar to signs exhibited by those who are under the influence of drugs or alcohol, it is not uncommon for autistic people to be arrested or harassed by police officers for stimming in public.

For me, this is alarming. In a world where we pride ourselves on being inclusive and forward-thinking, it is still dangerous to simply be autistic in public. To me, the most important way to make the world safer for people with autism is to spread awareness for their experiences, and for actually autistic people to be the ones sharing their stories. For too long, the stereotype of the autistic person who cannot stand up for themself has been perpetuated and widely accepted. So today I’m challenging that stereotype, and I’m here to tell you some things that autistic people wish more allistic people knew about autism.

Autistic people tend to be very blunt and straightforward regarding their thoughts and feelings. To allistic people, whose interactions are filled with flowery language to avoid being upfront and honest, this is seen as impolite. So, understand that if an autistic person unexpectedly says something frank and direct that comes off as rude, they are likely just honestly saying what they’re thinking, which is what they expect you want to hear.

And to autistic people, the way that allistic people communicate can seem just as nonsensical. It can be hard for us to detect sarcasm, understand non-literal figures of speech, and interpret body language. So, when communicating with autistic people, be mindful of the fact that they may struggle to understand you. If you say something and they don’t understand what you mean right away, don’t become exasperated or treat them like their need for clarification is a burden. Calmly and nonjudgmentally explain what you said, and if they don’t need any further clarification, move on with the conversation as usual.

On top of this, autistic people struggle to understand implied meanings. So, try to be open about your feelings and intentions. If you want an autistic person to complete a task, you should tell them exactly what you want them to do without excluding anything you think is implied. Especially don’t become frustrated or angry if an autistic person doesn’t infer something that you didn’t explicitly say. Autistic brains form conclusions by looking at little, individual clues and then piecing them together to create a model of what they should do, as opposed to the allistic method of forming a model and then filling in the blanks. This is another prominent difference between allistic and autistic brains.

Autistic people’s brains are wired to rely on routine much more than allistic people due to the way that they analyze situations. Many autistic people rely on routines to find a sense of security within their lives because of how they analyze situations. So, a sudden change in schedule can be very upsetting and anxiety inducing for an autistic person. When planning a get-together or party involving an autistic friend or family member, remember to try to give them extra notice of any changes in plans in order to help reduce any worry they may be feeling.

Because of our processing style, autistic brains require more time to process new requests and instructions than allistic brains. When an autistic person is asked to do something outside of their regular schedule or what they are usually expected to do, it may be hard for them to process at first. So, if you ask an autistic person to do something for you, they may not do it immediately. Do not berate them for this, as this would likely lead to them becoming unnecessarily stressed. Allow them extra time to process your instructions, answer any questions they may have, and be patient.

Another essential thing to understand about autism is sensory overload. As I mentioned earlier, autistic people regularly face negative sensory experiences that can become overwhelming to them. This can lead to them becoming tired and irritable, and it can interfere with their ability to communicate and function normally. When an autistic person becomes so overwhelmed that stimming cannot regulate their sensory input, they may experience a shutdown or meltdown. A shutdown is characterized by minimal or complete lack of speech, extreme sensitivity to touch and sound, inability to move, and seclusion into a space where one can be alone. A meltdown is characterized by a temporary lack of control over one’s behavior resulting in yelling, crying, and physically lashing out. Both of these are the autistic brains reactions to extremely overwhelming circumstances. Autistic people cannot choose to meltdown or shutdown, and in turn, cannot choose to stop a meltdown or shutdown that has already started.

So, it’s important to understand each individual person and what they need from you. Talk to your autistic friend or family member about circumstances that they find to be most upsetting, and actively find ways to avoid them, or if that’s not possible, warn them of the potentially stressful situation before you enter it. If you are ever with an autistic person during a shutdown or meltdown, the most important thing for you to do for them is to take them away from what is upsetting to them. Take them to a quiet, dark room, and stay with them until they have calmed down. Find a way for them to be able to communicate their needs to you, such as typing or writing, to make sure that they feel safe and comfortable.

Really, what I am asking you to do is to be a better person for the sake of not only yourself, but also the people around you, autistic or not. Be kind. Be caring. Be empathetic, understanding, and aware of how you affect those around you. In order to be an ally to those with autism, first one must learn how to be an ally to those without it.

#autism #actually autistic #autism awareness #autistic teen #autistic student #neurodivergency #neurodivergent #living with autism #autistic pride #autistic feels #autistic things #autistic struggles

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toycarousel · 5 years

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so I have this friend... we’ve been friends for years and I really love spending time with her! I have anxiety, low energy, and I get overstimulated easy, though, and when I cancel plans because of it, she says things like “next time I won’t invite you, you always flake” and “why do I even bother”. It hurts but the rest of the time we get along really well, she just has an aggressive and deflective response to criticism so I don’t know what to do. I think she’s a good friend, but is she?

Hi there, Anon! (I’m not a professional of any sort, but I can offer you my own perspectives on this). Imo, whether or not she’s a good friend ultimately depends on the effects her behaviour has on you, and how open she is to being willing to change her more harmful behaviours. And since, like you said, she can be aggressive and deflective when it comes to criticism, maybe the main thing to stress is that you’re not really criticizing her, you know? You’re taking care of your mental health to the extent that you can atm, and sometimes cancelling plans is what we need to do in a certain moment~! It’s not something you need to feel guilty/ashamed about, and in many cases, it sounds like it’s not even something you can help or control~! : O

Things like anxiety and low energy or executive dysfunction can affect us even in the things we really, genuinely want to do. Like hanging out with a friend, or doing a project we actually really enjoy, or going to see a movie, or (for me) playing video games. Like, I genuinely adore playing video games, but my executive dysfunction makes it so that I can’t turn on the power or set up the console. And it’s not because I “secretly don’t want to” or anything -- it’s just that I can’t seem to make myself Do The Thing sometimes. And some days are better than others.

So I guess what I’m saying is that maybe that’s the way to bring up the topic with your friend~? Like, let her know that because of your anxiety and low-energy, sometimes it’s just nearly impossible (without external help, oftentimes, depending on the severity of the anxiety) to do things that you want to do. So you’re not turning her down because you secretly don’t like her, or don’t want to be around her -- hanging out with her and keeping plans both sound like things you actually want to do, but you aren’t always in the right, healthiest place for it, and you can’t predict/can’t control when that happens~!!!

If her perception of criticism is what’s driving her to make these unkind, hurtful comments toward you, then letting her know that it’s not actually about her might open the conversation up more, and cause her to calm down and be less aggressive/defensive about it.

BUT there’s another aspect to this too, and I feel it’s incredibly important to remember -- if she continually falls into certain patterns of behaviour, even after you’ve discussed these things with her, or she doubles-down and refuses to change, or lashes out at you, then no, that’s not being a good friend. And you can’t control what her negative behaviours and insecurities are. Those are for her to figure out and cope with. Same as she can’t control or treat your anxiety, you can’t control or treat her issues (like why perceived-criticism bothers her so much, or why she reacts aggressively in situations that srsly don’t warrant it).

It’s important for us to leave room in our friendships to be supportive of the other person, and to not expect them to be perfect -- but that doesn’t mean you owe them anything, and it especially should not become a relationship in which you feel like you’re forced to violate your own comfort and boundaries and values in order to predict and tend to her feelings/reactions all the time.

Ultimately, she doesn’t have the right to be saying unkind things to you. They’re hurtful, they’re based on something you can’t control, you’re not doing anything for the purposes of harming or upsetting her, and you’re acting within your own mental health related needs (which is completely fair~!) So it sounds like what needs to change maybe, is communication. If she feels hurt by you cancelling plans, then she should talk to you about that as a friend -- not as someone on the defensive who is willing to say things that hurt you.

We all get defensive sometimes, and say things we regret, so I’d talk this out with her, let her know why you can’t come out sometimes, and let her know (in a kind and considerate, but fair-to-yourself-as-well way) that you feel hurt by those specific responses. It’s always okay to be honest about something that hurts you. We have to tell ppl when they’re harming us, because regardless of whether they already know that or not, they need to realize that our personal boundaries and feelings matter too. And when you reach an understanding together, you can work -- again, alongside each other -- to come to a better appreciation for what you both need in the friendship, and whether or not that’s workable, you know?

In any case, best of wishes, Anon -- and if she continues to treat you in ways that hurt you, you definitely don’t need to stick around. It’s totally up to you, and there’s nothing wrong with backing away if the friendship is causing you more harm than good.

#friendships #relationships #advice asks #anxiety #Anonymous

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baileychadwick400spatail · 4 years

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Lisa van Schagen 2.0: City Roofs research paper:

The rooftop of a building is rarely designed, it feels as if this fifth facade has been forgotten about, it is seen to be where the building ends and finishes. It is under-utilised.

Urban Densification:

Urban densification is a problem for most growing cities, in the past cities have grown horizontally outwards into neighbouring areas. Cities are now reaching the border of horizontal expansion and are changing their focus on expanding vertically. The rapid growth of the urban environment has put pressure on the available space in the city, using the existing infrastructure as a base to grow vertically can relieve this pressure on potential sites. By using this concept of rooftop development as a lens, we can look at the urban densification issue and see many potential solutions. Instead of looking at the limited space on the ground as future sites and look at the roofscape as a scattered blank canvas, we now have a vast amount of available sites for new developments.

“Making use of existing roof surfaces as renewed building ground can be a helpful tool by expansion within the existing core” - from the city roofs chapter

Lack of Green:

“Urban green improves urban conditions and helps restoring the balance between citizens and nature”. Urban wildlife lacks in current cities, nature is hard to come by in these dense concrete environments which affects human health negatively. Green spaces in the city affect more than the wellbeing of its users, it changes the atmosphere of spaces through “climate control” and also provides “social solutions”.

City Roofs:

“A green roof is a way to give back the green surface that the building took away”. Garden or green roofs are a solution to the lack of nature in the city environment, the green rooftop concept is not a new one and has been a popular theme throughout all developing cities. It is successful in many ways, mainly providing a backyard experience for city dwellers which have numerous benefits to a person's well being and their connection to nature. “Green roofs can play an important role in greening cities” - from Technical Assignment: chapter

My Opinion:

Rooftop gardens work well in developed urban environments and this success is proven by the popularity of it around the world, but in my opinion the ‘green rooftop’ concept has turned bland and boring as it is seen everywhere. I can appreciate the idea of a green roof but as a designer I'm not overly interested in bombarding the roof with plants, I feel as if the roof surface is being under-utilised.

How can designers “offer a more nuanced view on the nowadays fashionable exorbitant greenwashing of roofscapes?” - From a Rotterdam Roofscapes study text.

What currently sparks my interest is how can I design a rooftop to give the same experience of escaping the city without having to be surrounded by plants. This is the current theme seen in ‘Green Rooftop’ designs, what I am proposing in this statement is a ‘Natural Rooftop’ experience with no plants. I'm taking the idea of a ‘Garden Rooftop’ and applying it without the presence of plants. It would be a rooftop experience which would affect our wellbeing in the same way nature does but instead with forms that are man-made. The space would be extending on the man-made landscape below but would portray a natural oasis experience.

Organic forms are a great way of portraying nature without having any plants present.

Technical Assignment:

“Rooftops are not used or explored to their full extent. They’re a burden to the eye, have climatic disadvantages and run behind on innovation”.

“In most cases roofs are not designed for this extra load, which limits the possibilities and asks for a smart solution”.

Obstructing Factors:

Even though Green rooftops have been a success and the idea of rooftop architecture being a positive lens for developing cities, there are few roofs that have been transformed. This is because there are many implications that come with building on the roofscape of a city… “Constructing rooftop architecture means dealing with challenges on technical, social and political levels”.

Roofscape as new building ground.

Ownership:

“The owner of a building automatically owns the roof and everything that arises above that. This is one of the reasons why it’s mostly impossible to treat roof surfaces as new building ground”. The way around this would be to rent the roof space to a new owner, the same way the owner of a building can rent his roof to someone who is wanting to exploit solar panels for power. This means that the renter and owner have to come to an agreement and would include a share of profit for both the owner and renter. “This approach requires free minds and clear, long-term contracts”.

Progressive City Planning:

“Regulations can be liberalized, considered some rules are based on nostalgic feelings and obsolete views and could use some change, In order to give cities room for growth, this needs to be taken into account” … “Planning in dense city growth needs to be worked out in order to determine the opportunities and threats of rooftop architecture.”

Human health:

“In prehistoric times our bodies reacted to stressful situations only occasionally when dangerous, life threatening events occurred for example. The stress we were experiencing as part of our survival mode is a natural, healthy feature. It temporarily increases our adrenaline level and therefore our alertness, which helps us to survive. When things went back to normal our stress level would drop back to the basic, healthy level, so our body would have time to restore. Nowadays we deal with so-called modern stress. Stress occurs on a lower level, though it’s there constantly. The things on our mind concerning work, relationships, money and expectations are more complex than back in the days and occupy our mind all day. Our current stress levels are therefore constantly on a higher level than what’s considered healthy, without finding the time or environment to recover. This continuous stress has proven to be harmful for all vital organs. Being under stress for an unacceptable period of time without having the chance to recover, makes the reactions of the human body dysfunctional. Sometimes with the result of deleterious effects on the body causing type II diabetes, depression and infections. Also mental disorders like schizophrenia, anxiety, exhaustion and fatigue syndromes can be directly related to an excess of stress (Grahn & Stigsdotter, 2009: The relation between perceived sensory dimensions of urban green space and stress restoration)”

“It appears that the urban environment as a ‘concrete jungle’ enhances these negative effects for two reasons. In the first place there’s overstimulation. Depending on the specific city a certain visual complexity, amount of noise, movement and intensity will burden our system. Second is that urban environments don’t provide the possibility to restore our attention. According to the Attention Restoration Theory (ART) people can concentrate better after spending time in nature. Research shows that green urban spaces in the urban environment should in the first place provide nature, richness in species and refuge or shelter. This indicates the urge of city inhabitants to look for the most restorative environments. (Grahn & Stigsdotter, 2009) (Voeten, 2013)”

Social green/social encounter:

“Green urban spaces like parks, green lanes and community gardens bring people together. These leisure spots provide the opportunity to relax and meet friends for example” … “ Recreation, wellbeing and intercultural activities can enhance mutual understanding and therefore resolve conflicts (between different ethnic groups in the area) and offer the opportunity for various ethnic groups to come to terms with each other”

“The lack of green jeopardizes the quality of life in cities”

Lisa van Schagens Visualisation from this Research Project:

Quotes and images have been quoted from:

https://repository.tudelft.nl/islandora/object/uuid:e57b9e81-ad50-41fb-b233-7b69fc5c8bdc

Rotterdam Roofscapes quote:

http://www.urbanisten.nl/wp/?portfolio=rotterdam-roofscapes

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justement · 7 years

Photo

No-one is bored; everything is boring

(By Mark Fisher, originally published in Visual Arts News Sheet, Dublin)

One of the most intriguing and provocative pieces on politics and culture this year was “We Are All Very Anxious” by the Institute of Precarious Consciousness. It argues that the key problematic affect capitalism now faces is anxiety. In an earlier, Fordist, era, it was boredom that was the “dominant reactive affect”. Repetitive labour on production lines engendered boredom, which was both the central form of subjugation under Fordism, and also the source of a new oppositional politics. It could be argued that the failure of the traditional left is tied up with its inability adequately to engage with this politics of boredom, which wasn’t articulated via trade unions or political parties, but via the cultural politics of the Situationists and the punks. It was the neoliberals, not the organised left, which was best able to absorb and instrumentalise this critique of boredom. Neoliberals quickly moved to associate Fordist factories and the stability and security of social democracy with tedium, predictability and top-down bureaucracy. In place of this, the neoliberals offered excitement and unpredictability – but the downside of these newly fluid conditions is perpetual anxiety. Anxiety is the emotional state which correlates with the (economic, social, existential) precariousness which neoliberal governance has normalised.

The Institute of Precarious Consciousness were right to observe that too much anti-capitalist politics is locked into strategies and perspectives that were formed in an era when the struggle was against boredom. They are also correct both that capitalism has effectively solved the problem of boredom, and that it is crucial that the left finds ways of politicising anxiety. Neoliberal culture – which came to dominance as the anti-psychiatry movement was waning – has individualised depression and anxiety. Or rather, many cases of depression and anxiety are the effects of neoliberalism’s successful tendency to privatise stress, to convert political antagonisms into medical conditions.

At the same time, I believe that the argument about boredom has to be somewhat nuanced. It is certainly true that one could feel almost nostalgic for boredom 1.0. The dreary void of Sundays, the the night hours after television stopped broadcasting, even the endless dragging minutes waiting in queues or for public transport: for anyone who has a smartphone, this empty time has now been effectively eliminated. In the intensive, 24-7 environment of capitalist cyberspace, the brain is no longer allowed any time to idle; instead, it is inundated with a seamless flow of low-level stimulus. Yet boredom was ambivalent; it wasn’t simply a negative feeling that one simply wanted rid of. For punk, the vacancy of boredom was a challenge, an injunction and an opportunity: if we are bored, then it is for us to produce something that will fill up the space. Yet, it is through this demand for participation that capitalism has neutralised boredom. Now, rather than imposing a pacifying spectacle on us, capitalist corporations go out of their way to invite us to interact, to generate our own content, to join the debate. There is now neither an excuse nor an opportunity to be bored.

But if the contemporary form of capitalism has extirpated boredom, it has not vanquished the boring. On the contrary – you could argue that the boring is ubiquitous. For the most part, we’ve given up any expectation of being surprised by culture – and that goes for ‘experimental’ culture as much as popular culture. Whether it is music that sounds like it could have come out twenty, thirty, forty years ago, Hollywood blockbusters that recycle and reboot concepts, characters and tropes that were exhausted long ago, or the tired gestures of so much contemporary art, the boring is everywhere. It is just that no-one is bored – because there is no longer any subject capable of being bored. For boredom is a state of absorption – a state of high absorption, in fact, which is why it is such an oppressive feeling. Boredom consumes our being; we feel we will never escape it. But it is just this capacity for absorption which is now under attack, as a result of the constant dispersal of attention which is integral to capitalist cyberspace. If boredom is a form of empty absorption, then it is effectively countered by more positive forms of absorption. But is these forms of absorption which capitalism cannot deliver. Instead of absorbing us, it distracts from the boring.

Perhaps the feeling most characteristic of our current moment is a mixture of boredom and compulsion. Even though we recognise that they are boring, we nevertheless feel compelled to do yet another Facebook quiz, to read yet another Buzzfeed list, to click on some celebrity gossip about someone we don’t even remotely care about. We endlessly move among the boring, but our nervous systems are so overstimulated that we never have the luxury of feeling bored. No-one is bored, everything is boring.

Related http://www.nature.com/news/why-boredom-is-anything-but-boring-1.19140

#No-one is bored; everything is boring #uncategorized #mark fisher #boredom

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pizzabass8-blog · 5 years

Text

What Is Burnout And How To Take Care Of Yourself

What is burnout? Most of us will experience some level of burnout in our lifetime, and nourishing yourself mentally, emotionally, and physically is key to preventing it.

Did you know that 50% of medical students, physicians in training, and practicing physicians are at significant risk of burnout? (1) It amazes me, yet I understand, the people who are giving all their energy to taking care of others, put their own wellbeing and health lower on the priority list. We’re peeling back some layers to help answer the question of what is burnout and how to tell if you have burnout.

But guess what, burnout doesn’t just affect physicians and people in the medical professional industry, it impacts all of us from entrepreneurs and business owners, to mothers, to students — burnout doesn’t discriminate.

This is why one of my favorite mantras rings so true to my lifestyle, but also I hope for all my fellow health professionals out there — you have to show up fully for yourself in order to show up for others.

You have to show up fully for yourself in order to show up fully for others.

What Is Burnout?

Burnout is defined by the World Psychiatry as “… a psychological syndrome emerging as a prolonged response to chronic interpersonal stressors on the job. The three key dimensions of this response are an overwhelming exhaustion, feelings of cynicism and detachment from the job, and a sense of ineffectiveness and lack of accomplishment. The significance of this three‐dimensional model is that it clearly places the individual stress experience within a social context and involves the person’s conception of both self and others.” (3)

From personal experience, burnout is a very real, tangible, and emotional state that touches my core. It’s very easy to pour yourself into something you love so much and are deeply passionate about building, but there’s gotta be a limit and I learned a lesson early on about this. During my second year of running the company, I had a case of burnout which included anxiety, panic attacks, mild depression, low immune function (kept getting sick), low appetite, etc. This went on for months before I knew what was happening let alone how to describe how I was feeling or get to the root cause. I was truly living a life of a one-woman-show leading a growing company, even with an amazing team, and I let my own health take the back seat while giving all my energy to this community.

I’ve been open about this experience because it’s so important we take off the filter of Instagram and social media and share what’s really happening behind the scenes — if you’re interested, you can check out this podcast interview here and here where I shared a bit about my burnout story, triggers, and how I overcame in hopes that it helps you.

I’m not just grateful I had this challenging time, but I’m so happy I experienced this because now I’m able to recognize my triggers through building the mind-body awareness of what I need, how to set boundaries, and what I do as a daily practice to keep myself grounded, focused, and feeling great. I write this article to share with you and shine a light on the importance of mental wellbeing, emotional wellbeing, spiritual wellbeing, and physical wellbeing in this world of everything digitized and a bit disconnected — if this article helps you or one of your loved ones, then I’ve done my work.

Burnout Is Bad For Our Health

Stress isn’t always a bad thing, we actually need stress for certain situations. We know too much stress in our lives is bad for our health, and if burnout is the result of chronic stress, then you guessed correctly that burnout is bad for our health too. Stress can be either a triggering or aggravating factor for many diseases and health conditions (4).

Chronic stress and our brain health

Stress doesn’t just make us feel like we have a serious case of brain fog, but it’s this “fog” of stress that decreases overall cognitive performance from decision making, paying attention, judgment, and learning (4).

Not to mention, some studies show the literal structure of our brain changes with chronic stress — including the gray matter which is responsible for higher brain functioning like decision making, thinking, and is packed with nerve cells, the other half of our brain volume is called white matter. White matter is a network of fibers that allows the brain to communicate between regions, it gets the name white matter because there’s a white myelin sheath surrounding it which is responsible for the electrical flow of signals between neurons (7).

Of course, our brain health is directly related to the health of our immune system. Our body produces cytokines in the brain during a time of psychological stress, which induces an acute phase response in our body which happens naturally when we get an infection or a wound/cut/tissue damage — but in chronic stress, we have increased levels of circulating cytokines (one of several inflammatory biomarkers).

Our mind and body are a machine, when we’re in a situation of stress (i.e. the brain thinks we’re in danger), the neuroimmune communication is set in motion as the inflammatory markers increase (i.e. the cytokines produced by stress-stimulated immune cells) tell the body we’re in stress which further makes this situation a repeating cycle. The damage comes when this cycle becomes persistent, the abnormal levels of cytokines can damage the parenchyma (i.e. the functional bulk of an organ or tissue) which can physically change the structure of our brain (8).

Chronic stress and our immune system

Stress becomes bad for our health when it’s chronic — our body has a negative feedback mechanism that controls the stress response and when you’re in chronic stress, this response doesn’t work. A resistance develops and the levels of molecular mediators of stress remain very high which then compromises our immune system and in the long term can damage organs and tissues (5).

Inflammation, which in most cases is a prelude to disease, also occurs in people who have chronic stress. The neuroimmune axis (in a nutshell, how our immune system communicates with the nervous system), gets overstimulated and breaks down which can cause immune imbalances, low-grade inflammation, hormonal imbalances, and may lead to disease such as atherosclerosis (5).

There are many known health conditions that are a result of stress and chronic stress including inflammation, cardiovascular conditions, diabetes, cancer, autoimmune issues, depression, and anxiety (8). Eating a diet rich in foods that reduce inflammation is key, but also managing stress is pivotal!

14 Potential Signs Of Burnout

Because burnout is difficult to diagnose and there are no textbook criteria for the diagnosis, some studies suggest that there they may be a biomarker used in diagnosis, DNA methylation markers might be able to show how individuals respond uniquely to stress and the psychopathology differences of burnout and other mental disorders (3).

Again, these signs and symptoms of burnout will look different for everyone but be aware and on the lookout if you or someone you love is experiencing any of the following:

Spending more time alone than your normal — avoiding activities you normally would enjoy engaging in

Experiencing emotional highs and lows, emotional instability

Feeling overwhelmed, fear, anxiety, self-doubt that’s hard to shake

Feeling “alone” and like you’re “doing it all”

Working longer hours than normal while being preoccupied with work while not at work

Not spending the time to yourself in self-reflection or activities that make you feel good and connected with yourself

Feeling very tired despite sleeping your normal hours — hard to wake up in the mornings

Feeling like you’re on a plateau with work/personal/life

Feeling detached from your beliefs, core values, and goals

Having a shorter temper than your normal

Psychosomatic feelings of health issues: hormonal imbalances, digestive issues, colds, that are difficult to identify or diagnose

Having a general feeling of “lack” — like you’re not doing enough or are enough

Experiencing panic attacks, dizziness, or increased heart rate

Feeling like you can’t think straight or have brain fog

How Do You Know If You Have Burnout?

The tricky thing about burnout is its kind of like a slow leak, it’s not as though you wake up one morning feeling burnout, it’s more of a gradual rise of these symptoms and signs which makes it more difficult for some people to realize that something is wrong in the first place. The first and most important step before you dive into self-reflection or trying to diagnose yourself is to go talk to someone — anyone from a friend to a therapist.

Burnout looks different for everyone depending on your lifestyle and causes of burnout, but take a look at some of these questions to ask yourself and gauge where you might be in the spectrum of burnout. Some of these questions were taken directly from a study from the College of Family Physicians of Canada in 2008 and the other questions are from personal experience dealing with burnout and the questions I asked myself (2).

Do you schedule and spend time with yourself?

Do you schedule and spend time with your family?

Do you eat healthy meals to nourish your body?

Do you make sleep a priority?

Do you feel excited and joyful about work and life?

Do you tend to identify or recognize yourself as a “workaholic”?

Do you make the time to engage in hobbies and activities outside of work?

Do you routinely talk about your challenges, hardships, and feelings with a friend/family member or professional?

Do you make time for exercise and movement weekly?

Do you spend time in self-reflection?

Do you place high expectations on yourself or others?

Do you emotionally react to others in highs and lows — i.e. happy to sad quickly?

Do you have a history of depression, anxiety, or overwhelm?

Do you have a history or currently have hormonal imbalances?

Do you obsessively think about work/health/one topic?

Again, this article isn’t a diagnostic tool for burnout, that’s where licensed psychologists come into play. This can start to awaken some journal prompts for you to explore your situation and reflect.

The ~ Feel Better From Burnout ~ Checklist

First, take a deep breath and know that it’s okay, you’re not alone, and there are so many lifestyle things you can do to feel better. Here are a list of items, books, resources, and foods that may also help you if/when you experience burnout.

Right now, let this be a time that you put yourself first and concentrate on making healthy choices for yourself, and getting into the routine of practicing your unique definition of self-care. This can be as simple as going to bed and waking up at consistent times to train yourself and your body on regular sleep patterns, making a couple healthy recipes you want to try or if you need help with that just as a friend or loved one to cook with you!

Here are a list of items, books, resources, and foods that may also help you if/when you experience burnout. These resources are things I personally used and still use to this day if I feel burnout coming on:

Books to read:

Power of Now — a personal favorite and for me, a life-changing book

Judgment Detox

The Alchemist

Heart Talk

Essentialism

Option B

The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People

The Four Agreements

Daring Greatly

Feel good recipes:

How to chill out:

Find something you love to do that’s creatively stimulating — art, dance class, poetry seminar, etc.

Go outside. Breathe in the fresh air and take a hike in the woods

Get as ~ woo ~ as you want by lighting some sage, palo santo, candles, or essential oils to get some aromatherapy going

Take a bath with good smelling essential oils that make you feel good

Read some inspirational books mentioned above

Journal. Make the time to write everything that’s going on in your head, out on paper to clear your mind

Sleep at least 8 hours a night — check here for more tips on how to sleep well

Find joy in activities you like again by not placing an outcome or a measurement of achievement, just do it because you like it!

How To Feel Better After Burnout

After you feel you’ve gotten over the hump of burnout, this is one of the most beautiful times, not because you feel like a unicorn skipping on sunshine, but because you now have the self-awareness to pinpoint your mental, emotional, physical health status to then prevent future burnout.

You can now reflect and learn your unique signs of burnout and how your body is communicating with you about signs of burnout before you experience it the next time. A couple of ways to be more proactive this time around is to set clear concise boundaries with work/whatever was a trigger for causing your burnout, learning the power of saying no, reclaiming your personal alone time on the weekends or during the week, cutting down on the amount of work if possible, engaging in weekly creative activities that make you feel good, and doing things for the sake of joy without attaching an outcome for achievement with them.

If You Need Help, Talk About It.

We all need help — I’ll be the first to happily, loudly, and proudly share that what got me through my case of burnout was speaking with a my family, friends, licensed therapist, checking in with my physician regularly, and engaging in other modes of functional medicine that kept me grounded like acupuncture, meditation, yoga, and deep breathing exercises. It took multiple pillars of health and is still a daily practice.

Always remember, that you’re not alone even if it feels like you are and that nothing ever stays constant — we’re always evolving and changing, that’s true for the hard times too.

Resources:

References:

Yaribeygi H, Panahi Y, Sahraei H, Johnston TP, Sahebkar A. The impact of stress on body function: A review. EXCLI Journal. 2017;16:1057-1072. doi:10.17179/excli2017-480.

Mariotti A. The effects of chronic stress on health: new insights into the molecular mechanisms of brain–body communication. Future Science OA. 2015;1(3):FSO23. doi:10.4155/fso.15.21.

Bakusic, J., Schaufeli, W., Claes, S., & Godderis, L. (2017, January). Stress, burnout, and depression: A systematic review of DNA methylation mechanisms. Retrieved from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/27998510

Chronic Stress Can Damage Brain Structure and Connectivity. Psychology Today.

Mariotti A. Advances in pediatrics. The effects of chronic stress on health: new insights into the molecular mechanisms of brain–body communication. Published November 2015.

Source: https://nutritionstripped.com/what-is-burnout/

#read more #see more #check it out #interesting #learn more

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drakefridge44-blog · 5 years

Text

What Is Burnout And How To Take Care Of Yourself

What is burnout? Most of us will experience some level of burnout in our lifetime, and nourishing yourself mentally, emotionally, and physically is key to preventing it.

You have to show up fully for yourself in order to show up fully for others.

What Is Burnout?

Burnout Is Bad For Our Health

Chronic stress and our brain health

Chronic stress and our immune system

14 Potential Signs Of Burnout

Again, these signs and symptoms of burnout will look different for everyone but be aware and on the lookout if you or someone you love is experiencing any of the following:

Spending more time alone than your normal — avoiding activities you normally would enjoy engaging in

Experiencing emotional highs and lows, emotional instability

Feeling overwhelmed, fear, anxiety, self-doubt that’s hard to shake

Feeling “alone” and like you’re “doing it all”

Working longer hours than normal while being preoccupied with work while not at work

Not spending the time to yourself in self-reflection or activities that make you feel good and connected with yourself

Feeling very tired despite sleeping your normal hours — hard to wake up in the mornings

Feeling like you’re on a plateau with work/personal/life

Feeling detached from your beliefs, core values, and goals

Having a shorter temper than your normal

Psychosomatic feelings of health issues: hormonal imbalances, digestive issues, colds, that are difficult to identify or diagnose

Having a general feeling of “lack” — like you’re not doing enough or are enough

Experiencing panic attacks, dizziness, or increased heart rate

Feeling like you can’t think straight or have brain fog

How Do You Know If You Have Burnout?

Do you schedule and spend time with yourself?

Do you schedule and spend time with your family?

Do you eat healthy meals to nourish your body?

Do you make sleep a priority?

Do you feel excited and joyful about work and life?

Do you tend to identify or recognize yourself as a “workaholic”?

Do you make the time to engage in hobbies and activities outside of work?

Do you routinely talk about your challenges, hardships, and feelings with a friend/family member or professional?

Do you make time for exercise and movement weekly?

Do you spend time in self-reflection?

Do you place high expectations on yourself or others?

Do you emotionally react to others in highs and lows — i.e. happy to sad quickly?

Do you have a history of depression, anxiety, or overwhelm?

Do you have a history or currently have hormonal imbalances?

Do you obsessively think about work/health/one topic?

The ~ Feel Better From Burnout ~ Checklist

Books to read:

Power of Now — a personal favorite and for me, a life-changing book

Judgment Detox

The Alchemist

Heart Talk

Essentialism

Option B

The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People

The Four Agreements

Daring Greatly

Feel good recipes:

How to chill out:

Find something you love to do that’s creatively stimulating — art, dance class, poetry seminar, etc.

Go outside. Breathe in the fresh air and take a hike in the woods

Get as ~ woo ~ as you want by lighting some sage, palo santo, candles, or essential oils to get some aromatherapy going

Take a bath with good smelling essential oils that make you feel good

Read some inspirational books mentioned above

Journal. Make the time to write everything that’s going on in your head, out on paper to clear your mind

Sleep at least 8 hours a night — check here for more tips on how to sleep well

Find joy in activities you like again by not placing an outcome or a measurement of achievement, just do it because you like it!

How To Feel Better After Burnout

If You Need Help, Talk About It.

Always remember, that you’re not alone even if it feels like you are and that nothing ever stays constant — we’re always evolving and changing, that’s true for the hard times too.

Resources:

References:

Yaribeygi H, Panahi Y, Sahraei H, Johnston TP, Sahebkar A. The impact of stress on body function: A review. EXCLI Journal. 2017;16:1057-1072. doi:10.17179/excli2017-480.

Mariotti A. The effects of chronic stress on health: new insights into the molecular mechanisms of brain–body communication. Future Science OA. 2015;1(3):FSO23. doi:10.4155/fso.15.21.

Chronic Stress Can Damage Brain Structure and Connectivity. Psychology Today.

Mariotti A. Advances in pediatrics. The effects of chronic stress on health: new insights into the molecular mechanisms of brain–body communication. Published November 2015.

Source: https://nutritionstripped.com/what-is-burnout/

0 notes

chocolate-brownies · 5 years

Link

Leslie and Josh came to therapy to talk about their son’s problems in school. But it soon became apparent that they had a different problem altogether—one common to working parents.

Their daily routine included a dizzying array of activities and responsibilities that kept them constantly stressed. Getting their kids out the door to school was an ordeal, involving much haranguing and eating on the run. After working long hours, they arrived home to a laundry list of other duties. Constant interruptions from electronic devices made them feel on call to their workplaces and disengaged from each other. Though unhappy, they didn’t know what to do or how to make a change.

As an experienced child and family psychologist (Anthony) and a management psychologist who works with business leaders (Paul), we were struck by how common these concerns are. We hear the same thing over and over from the people who come to see us: They feel overwhelmed by life. They struggle to make choices and decisions. They often feel stuck, adrift, or thwarted.

For many of us, the pace of life has accelerated to a level where we can’t fully adapt. We exist in a buzz of worry that we’re not doing what we’re meant to do, and the anxiety we feel, in turn, makes it difficult to get things done, creating a spiral of inaction. What we need is more agency: the ability to cut through all of what pulls at us, find emotional and physical balance, think more clearly, and advocate for ourselves so we can take a course of action that makes sense. With agency, we can feel more in command of our lives.

In our new book, The Power of Agency, we outline seven steps to creating more personal agency, so that you can put yourself on a more powerful path—whether at work, in your relationships, or in life in general. Here is what we recommend.

1. Control stimuli

Agency begins with what you let into your mind—meaning what comes in from your environment. If you are lacking agency, it’s likely your attention is being hijacked and you need to figure out how to restore it.

For example, research has shown that having a phone present while you work distracts you and interferes with your capacity to think. On the other hand, taking a walk (especially outdoors) is a good way to restore depleted attention in your brain so you can concentrate better later.

To help you increase your agency, practice going to quiet and screen-free spaces to escape overstimulation. That may mean spending time in nature, turning off your phone notifications while at work, or avoiding eating in loud cafeterias.

2. Associate selectively

It’s impossible not to be affected by those around us—it’s easy to “catch” their emotions, for example, and our brains tend to synch up when we associate with other people. That means you should set boundaries with difficult people, disentangle yourself from negative online interactions, and be more conscious of how you might be vulnerable to “groupthink”—pressures to behave or think in ways that are contrary to your values.

Surround yourself with friends, family, and communities who encourage you to reach your full potential, nurture your talents, affirm your values.

Instead, surround yourself with friends, family, and communities who encourage you to reach your full potential, nurture your talents, affirm your values and difficult decisions, and give you a reality check when you’ve behaved badly or are stuck in negative thinking. You can also get involved with your community through volunteering or just chatting with local merchants or neighbors. These positive social interactions will improve your state of mind and physical health, two critical building blocks of agency.

3. Move

Physical movement, along with proper rest and nutrition, puts your body and mind into balance, giving you greater motivation, strength, and stamina. Research has shown that sitting a lot is dangerous for your health, and that even short breaks from concentrated periods of inactivity—like getting up to stretch or walking around the block—are good for you. Studies also suggest that exercise can lead to greater self-control—the ability to defer gratification, which is key to agency.

If you’re in deep at work, set a timer to go off every hour and remind yourself to take a moment to assess your mood. If you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed, get up and move. And, if you’re having any issues at work, discussing them in a walking meeting (instead of a sitting meeting) may help mitigate conflicts.

4. Position yourself as a learner

People with high levels of agency are continually learning more and expanding their capacity to learn by adopting a more open, collaborative approach to everything in life. This requires nurturing your curiosity and allowing yourself to explore new ideas, skills, and people.

You can take an interesting class, explore your world kinetically (through your hands or body), or spend time playing or using your imagination. Or you can learn from other people by staying curious and asking them open-ended questions, listening to gain understanding, and avoiding any quick judgments.

This isn’t always easy. Practicing a growth mindset—where you recognize that you are a work in progress, capable of learning and changing—can help combat the fear of failure or judgment that often come with learning new things. If you have trouble letting go of perfectionism, it might help to practice mindfulness meditation, which has been shown to reduce self-judgment, or use cognitive-behavioral therapy techniques that help put mistakes in perspective.

5. Manage your emotions and beliefs

Too often, we operate from unconscious beliefs—I’m too old to learn a new job skill or No one will ever want to be in a relationship with me—without being aware of how they thwart us from even trying certain things. When we are driven by unconscious emotions like fear, sadness, or worry, it can lower our energy and make us feel doomed or overwhelmed, which also hurts our agency.

Increasing your awareness of how your emotions and beliefs drive your thinking, influence your behavior, and affect your judgment will help you navigate life with greater confidence. While uncovering these inner thoughts and emotions may take effort, being more self-reflective helps you keep grounded by slowing down your thinking process.

For example, try to catch yourself the next time you feel angry with yourself. Don’t automatically accept that harmful emotion or, worse, dwell on it. Instead, pause and question it. Why am I feeling this way? Am I pressuring myself too much? Maybe my beliefs and expectations need some adjusting. Start by slowing your thinking down. Take slow deep breaths. Take yourself to a quiet place. Consciously let go of the tension building up in your muscles. These simple techniques will relax you and keep you more self-aware. This enhances your agency by putting you more in charge of what you feel and think.

Don’t automatically accept that harmful emotion or, worse, dwell on it. Instead, pause and question it.

By learning how to recognize our inner emotions and thoughts, name them, and let them pass through us, we can practice more self-control, which also helps build greater agency.

6. Check your intuition

Think of intuition as deep inner knowledge that is comprised of millions of data points that our brains have observed over the course of our lives. When used wisely, it can be a tremendous boost to our creativity and help us make important decisions, thereby increasing our level of agency.

Many of us are familiar with visceral, gut feelings about people or things—such as when you meet a new boss and sense right away that he’s bad news. When you’re in situations involving unclear social demands with few clues to navigate them, this type of intuition can be useful to you. However, you must be careful not to confuse intuition with bias and prejudice. In situations where emotions are running high—like during a job interview or when swiping on Tinder, for example—it’s best to slow down, take a breath, check in with others, and get more information rather than relying exclusively on quick, automatic impressions.

Strategic intuition, a second type of intuition, is more intentional. For example, you decide to stop thinking about a particularly vexing problem at work and—while on a long run, in the shower, or after meditating—a solution avails itself.

Finally, “expert” intuition happens after long periods, sometimes years, of practice at a particular skill. Here, less conscious parts of your brain are able to take over, provided you stay calm. Think of a pilot handling an emergency landing who allows their mind and body to perform as needed, without consciously thinking through each and every step.

 You can get better at using intuition to inform your decision-making if you learn to quiet your mind, develop a greater awareness of what you’re thinking and feeling, and listen to your body.

7. Deliberate, then act

 People with low agency experience common impediments when trying to make sound decisions. They may procrastinate, obsess over details, or worry excessively during the process; they may lack confidence and be risk-averse; or their thinking may be too fast and they act on impulse. When making an important decision, like where to move or how to advance your career, it’s helpful to stop and deliberate first. Put yourself in an environment conducive to reflection and exploration, and make sure you have time and your emotions are calm. Then, focus on the issue at hand enough to clarify your primary objective and what is at stake. Asking open-ended questions and gathering pertinent facts also helps.

It’s good to generate lots of options at first, making sure that any strong emotions or biases aren’t driving your thoughts. Then, you can draft a plan for yourself based on those options, putting your thoughts and decisions into writing. The plan should simplify your options and incorporate the most important facts. At this point, let your mind rest and allow any intuition to rise to the surface. Set your plan aside and come back a while later to reassess it, making changes as necessary.

Remember, taking action doesn’t require 100 percent certainty. Higher-agency people will start to act if they are 80 percent sure or more. So, don’t over-deliberate before acting. You can always reassess later if need be.

Having more agency means taking responsibility for your life. The next time you sense something happening around you—or within you—that doesn’t feel quite right, don’t ignore it and reflexively press on. Exercise the discipline to stop, pay attention, and work on finding a better path for yourself. By practicing more agency, you’ll have more influence over your life and greater impact on the lives of others.

This article originally appeared on Greater Good, the online magazine of UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, one of Mindful’s partners. View the original article.

The post Seven Ways to Develop Personal Agency appeared first on Mindful.

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12 Bad Habits For Mental Health

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Hang on to your happiness

Depression is usually brought on by factors beyond our control—the death of a loved one, a job loss, or financial troubles. But the small choices you make every day may also affect your mood more than you may realize. Your social media habits, exercise routine, and even the way you walk may be sucking the happiness out of your day, and you may not even know it. Luckily, these behaviors can be changed. Read on for 12 ways you’re sabotaging your good moods, and what you can do to turn it around. RELATED: 10 Signs You Could Be Depressed

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You slouch when you walk

How we feel can affect the way we walk, but the inverse is also true, finds a study published in the Journal of Behavior Therapy and Experimental Psychiatry. Researchers found that when subjects were asked to walk with shoulders slouched, hunched over, and with minimum arm movements, they experienced worse moods than those who had more pep in their steps. What’s more, participants who walked in the slouchy style remembered more negative things rather than positive things. Talk about depressing. Get happy now: Lift your chin up and roll your shoulders back to keep your outlook on the positive side.

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You take pictures of EVERYTHING

Instagram queens, listen up. Haphazardly snapping pictures may hamper how you remember those moments, according to a study published in Psychological Science. In the study, participants took a museum tour, observing some objects and snapping pics of others. Afterward, they had a harder time remembering the items they photographed compared with the ones they looked at. “The lens is a veil in front of your eyes and we don’t realize it’s there,” says Diedra L. Clay, PsyD, chair and associate professor of the counseling and health psychology department at Bastyr University in Kenmore, Wash. Get happy now: Focus on your subjects when taking pictures—or, better yet, just sit back and enjoy yourself. Soak up the beauty and participate in the action. These are the things the will make you mentally stronger, says Clay. RELATED: 12 Signs You May Have an Anxiety Disorder

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You’re letting a bully get the best of you

Bullying doesn’t end when you leave school. Approximately 54 million workers, or 35% of U.S. employees, are targeted by a bully at some point in their careers, according to the Workplace Bullying Institute. More than 70% of people have witnessed a workplace bully, says Erin K. Leonard, PhD, a practicing psychotherapist and author of the book, Emotional Terrorism: Breaking the Chains of a Toxic Relationship. “Being attacked maliciously in the place of pride and self-esteem continuously, it can be devastating. It makes you emotional volatile so that it is even difficult to get up and go work.” Get happy now: The Workplace Bullying Institute recommends you first make an appointment with your doctor to discuss your physical and mental health. Then, after you’ve carefully documented as many of your interactions as possible, follow the organization’s three-step action plan.

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You don’t exercise

Consider this: If you become more active three times a week, your risk of being depressed decreases 19%, according to a new study in JAMA Psychiatry. After following more than 11,000 people born in 1958 up until the age of 50, and recording depressive symptoms and levels of physical activity at regular intervals, University College London researchers found a correlation between physical activity and depression. People who were depressed were less likely to be active, while those who were active were less likely to be depressed. In fact, for every time they were active, depression risk decreased 6%. Get happy now: Just get out and move. It doesn’t need to be for long—walking to errands if possible, taking the stairs—but any activity will help keep your mind moving. RELATED: Secrets of People Who Love to Exercise

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You procrastinate

Think about a task you’ve been putting off. If the reason is because it’s boring or you just don’t feel like doing it, well, we can’t help you there. But if you’re avoiding the task because it makes you anxious or because you’re afraid of failing, then procrastinating just makes completing it more nerve-wracking. Get happy now: Before you finally tackle your problem head-on, do something that helps you ease stress: listen to music, go for a run, Leonard suggests engaging in an activity that helps disintegrate the anxiety. This way you can insert a bit of fun into it, instead of stress. RELATED: 12 Reasons to Stop Multitasking

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You’re in a toxic relationship

“I have many clients suffering from anxiety and depression not realize it’s because of a toxic relationship,” Leonard says. “It eats away their self-esteem. Their partners have them believing that they are incompetent, or selfish. Sometimes it takes years for people to realize that their depression and their anxiety comes from their relationships and that they have been dismantled.” Get happy now: You may need some help with this one. First, read up on the signs that your partner may be abusive. Then, consult either a professional, a family member, or a close friend to help you recognize the signs.

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You take life too seriously

You trip on a crack in the sidewalk, and instead of shrugging it off, you cower with embarrassment. If that sounds like you, it’s time to find some ways to laugh more. “There are many studies showing the benefits of laughter on our health and this includes mental health,” Leonard says. “Laughter is the fast medicine for anxiety and depression.” Get happy now: Seek out humor every day. Watch a funny TV show, listen to the Laugh USA channel on SiriusXM Radio, or spend time with friends who make you smile. You could even try volunteering with kids—they really do say the darndest things.

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You don’t sleep

“Sleep affects everything,” says Diedra L. Clay, PsyD, chair and associate professor of the counseling and health psychology department at Bastyr University, “emotional and mental capabilities, as well as our bodies’ functioning. Sleep is our bodies way of regenerating and without it the system malfunctions.” Determine exactly how much sleep you need here. Get happy now: Try to figure out why you aren’t sleeping and then take the steps to create a restful environment.

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You’re never alone

Between kids, work, marriage, and other activities, you can’t find a moment to be alone (and locking yourself in the bathroom doesn’t count). Leonard stresses the importance of finding time for yourself, whether it is 10 minutes, an hour, or a day. Without taking the time to do things for yourself, depression and anxiety creep in, says Leonard. Get happy now: Schedule an appointment for you time. And more importantly, keep it.

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You don’t actually talk to anyone

If you primarily use texting, Facebook, and other social media to stay in touch with friends, you’re not having meaningful contact—and chatting up the Starbucks barista every morning doesn’t count. “Facebook pages are entertainment,” Clay says. “These are not true conversations that allow us to understand people. Instead, it lessens our experiences and feelings.” Michael Mantell, PhD, a behavioral sciences coach based in San Diego, Calif., agrees. “Personal electronics (like smartphones) have also impacted attention, demands for immediate gratification, and expectations that the press of a button can lead to instantaneous connection,” Mantell says. “We have also learned to not have face-to-face connections, only virtual. This impacts our ability and interest in sitting in the same room with someone, and actually talk with people face-to-face.” Get happy now: “At the end of or lives, the number of followers we have doesn’t matter,” Clay says. “But friends do.” Make sure to schedule a date with a friend, family member, or partner at least once week.

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You can’t live without your mobile phone

When was the last time that you were completely electronic-device free? Can’t remember? Not a good sign. “With all the devices we have, it tends to overstimulate us,” Clay says. “And if we are always on, then we never truly rest and regenerate our bodies and our minds.” Eventually, this can manifest itself as depression or anxiety. Get happy now: Create an electronic Sabbath, where you abstain from all devices once a week, even if just for half a day.

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You multitask

We’re all guilty of multitasking: we take lunch at our desks, scroll through Facebook while watching TV, and text pretty much constantly. Research shows that although many people believe they’re being more productive by multitasking, that’s not actually the case—it just leaves us stressed out, oblivious to our surroundings, and unable to communicate effectively. Get happy now: It’s simple, really: put down the phone, turn off the television, and pay attention to what you are doing and what is going on around you. Allowing your brain to process everything that is happening to you in real time (and not broadcasting it to your social media followers) may be the best thing you can do for your mental health.