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dreamsmp-au-ideas · 3 years

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Oh, that bit about Karl’s powers and XD’s company at the beginning of the overwatch timeline made the karlnapity brain go brrrrrrr, bro!! Very long post ahead!!!! And I know the chatfic is coming soon, and I totally understand if you wanna reserve the blog’s attention for that once it comes out because I am also extremely excited for it, so publish this whenever you want!! Also good luck with the title and summary!!

So like, it’s a few years after Overwatch fell, and Sapnap, Quackity, and Karl are more or less content! They feel for Sam and the other original members, they do, but Overwatch and the omnics honestly weren’t a very big part of their world. They all made it through the omnic crisis just fine, and now they’re just going about their lives in the relative peacetime. They’re even engaged, vague plans of a marriage someday cobbling together bit by bit, but they’re in no rush. They’re happy!

And then Karl finds out about this interesting experiment that’s looking into real, live, actual time travel. Like!! Karl was psyched enough when space travel started getting big again; he knows just about everything there is to know about Horizon One for someone who’s never been there. If time travel turns out to be real? Karl wants in, and he wants in now.

Sapnap and Quackity are half-convinced it’s a scam or a gimmick or something. Sure, they personally knew what amounted to a superhero team a few years ago, but there’s a difference between a small group of skilled fighters and literal time travel. Especially since it’s an XD-sponsored endeavor, Quackity is certain there’s some catch. If nothing else, it’s probably a way to waste a lot of people’s time and money to get XD some good press again.

But Karl is so excited to check it out, neither of them want to try particularly hard to shut him down. They decide they’ll keep an eye on it, obviously, just in case, but they wish Karl good luck and a good time. So he heads out with high hopes and a little suitcase, promising to call every night and to see them soon.

And for the first few days, it goes great! Karl does call them every day and talks for at least an hour about everything he’s learning about this theoretical time travel and how it’ll work: a ship called the Slipstream, which is supposed to use teleportation technology to travel between places in negative time, thus creating functional time travel. Sapnap and Quackity reserve their doubts, but Karl’s having the time of his life either way, and they’re glad to hear him so happy. Especially when he tells them that he gets to get in the ship and take it on a test flight tomorrow - not to try out the time travel yet, but just to make sure he knows how to fly it. Karl gets to fly a ship!! He’s gonna be an actual pilot!! He’s so excited!!!

Karl hangs up that night, clearly over the moon, and Sapnap and Quackity resolve themselves happily to at least four hours on the phone tomorrow night, hearing all about the flight and how it went and what Karl is looking forward to.

And the next night, the hour comes, and Sapnap and Quackity settle on the couch with snacks and drinks, ready for a good long listening session. They wait for the phone to ring. And wait. And wait.

After an hour, they reason that maybe the test flight took longer than expected. Maybe Karl is tired out from flying it. Maybe Karl got distracted. Maybe he forgot to charge his phone. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Either way, it’s not like they had agreed that he’d call at this specific time. So there’s no need to worry. They’re not worried.

Another hour passes. And then another, and another, and soon midnight finds Sapnap and Quackity, sitting in the kitchen with mugs of tea long since cooled, watching a phone that won’t ring. Looking up the experiment or the Slipstream doesn’t bring up any bad news, which sets them both a bit at ease; no news is good news, right? At least for now?

Uneasily, they decide to go to bed. Karl will have to have called or at least texted by morning, surely. And if not, they’ll call him, and then they’ll call the number they were given for questions about the experiment. There’s no reason to worry.

Despite having no reason to worry, when morning comes without word from Karl, Sapnap and Quackity worry. When they call Karl, it goes straight to voicemail. When they call the number for the experiment, it’s disconnected. When they look up the experiment and the Slipstream and XD in general, they notice what they hadn’t last night: not only is there no news, there’s no mention of the experiment. The website Karl had learned about the experiment from is gone. XD’s website makes no mention of time travel. Even with all of Quackity’s investigative power, as far as the world wide web is concerned, there has never been a ship or shuttle with the name Slipstream.

It’s like the whole project never existed at all, and Karl Jacobs along with it.

Thus begins Sapnap and Quackity’s investigation. They call anyone who will listen, telling them that Karl is missing and it’s almost certainly the fault of XD and his company and please please please help them find out what happened. They become the most annoying thorn in XD’s side in months, calling every division in every company several times over, demanding answers. At one point, they’re discreetly contacted and offered hush money if they just drop it, and Sapnap has never screamed so loud in his life as when he told them exactly what they could do with that money. Quackity immediately tries to follow up, tracing the offer to gather proof that something must have happened if they’re trying to cover it up, and only runs into a brick wall. XD is infuriatingly good at covering his tracks.

What finally marks the turning point in their investigation is XD’s most common underestimation: common human decency between strangers. Quackity and Sapnap are anonymously contacted by someone who was working in the experiment’s division and heard about their search, someone who has access to Slipstream plans and blueprints. Through them, Quackity and Sapnap learn that Karl vanished because he was pressured into activating the time travel function on his test flight, despite the fact that it wasn’t ready yet. They’re also given early blueprints for the Slipstream, which include some of the plans for the time travel mechanism.

It’s this mechanism that Sam is able to study and rework and reverse engineer, eventually leading to the development of the chronal accelerator, which should, in theory, bring Karl back.

And it had been a rough time for Quackity and Sapnap, spending nearly all of their free time trying to gather resources and to find the truth and then to help Sam however he needed. They’ve undergone their respective breakdowns, supporting each other through them: Sapnap kept Quackity from burying himself too deeply in his work and his research, getting him to sleep and eat regularly. In turn, Quackity made sure he was available for Sapnap to talk and vent to, redirecting his steadily burning fury to constructive outlets. They’ve settled into an uneasy but manageable rhythm of getting through the days, haunted though they are by the uncertainty of where Karl is and when (if) they’ll see him again. And with the invention of the chronal accelerator, they’re both struggling with just how much hope they can afford. If this doesn’t work - if they get so close to finally getting Karl back, only to fail… it’s not something they want to think about.

So when Sam calls them down to his workshop, saying that he thinks he has a working model to recover their fiance, they arrive hand-in-hand, Quackity guarded, Sapnap cautiously optimistic. They gather around the workbench, surrounding Sam’s invention, a mechanical-looking harness with a glowing, green-and-purple spiral at its heart. Sam looks to them, hovering one hand over the activation switch, waiting for their signal.

They share a glance. Sapnap squeezes Quackity’s hand, steady and secure. No matter what, it promises. No matter what, I’ll still be here. I’m with you.

They both nod to Sam, and he flips the switch.

The harness hums and crackles to life, its spiral glowing brighter and starting to spin. Sam stands at the ready, watching six different monitors to ensure nothing goes wrong. Sapnap and Quackity lean on each other, nearly holding their breath, eyes glued to the accelerator.

Slowly, a figure fizzles into existence. Half-transparent, arms curled close to their chest, they glance around the room, looking lost and unsure, until they meet eyes with Sapnap and Quackity. Then their eyes go wide, one hand rising to their mouth, hanging open in shock.

Sapnap? says the ghost of Karl Jacobs. Quackity?

And in the next second, the ghost comes back to life, lungs filling with air, color rushing to his cheeks, solidity returning to his form. And Karl gasps, coughs, leans forward with one hand clapped over the accelerator, and his gaze doesn’t leave his fiances for a second. He extends one shaking arm, reaching for his fiances with an open hand. The tension shatters.

Sapnap closes the distance in half a second, Quackity barely a breath behind. The fiances collapse against the table as the two of them all but tackle Karl. Because Karl is real, Karl is alive, Karl is here in front of them. The lingering doubts that have dogged their footsteps vanish. The fear in their hearts that three engagement rings would become two wedding rings dissolves. The aching absence they’ve felt between them for months melts away in tears and sobs and bone-crushing hugs, the three of them relishing the hard-regained closeness, pressing together as the weight of the world lifts from all of their shoulders.

They’re together again.

#dream smp #dream smp au #overwatch au #quackity #karl jacobs #sapnap #awesamdude #submission #an anon #oh god this is amazing #i love this so much #i'll cherish it forever #long post

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bumbleartz · 4 years

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So got inspired by @sondrawr and @gotham-mother-of-monsters and had this ramble pop into my head. Hadn't flipped through my Mercy books in a while so it was fun to go back and refresh. Covers from the first book up to Storm Cursed and has spoilers if you haven't gotten that far.

Jesse has heard the title Marrok on and off throughout her childhood. Usually the title is whispered between the wolves or her father in tones she isn't supposed to hear. These conversations always ended in her being hustled off to the care of her mother or after the divorce being sent off to her room. The first time it became more than a hushed precursor to her being shuffled off is after being taken hostage. Her father had pulled her into his office and given her a name to go with the title along with a number to enter into her phone. "He is the head of all the wolves. If something happens regarding pack business or you feel for some reason you can't get to any of us or Mercy you call that number." She'd dutifully filed the number away as instructed under Bran Cornick and promptly had the conversation fade to where she kept the rest of what was considered pack information.

The first time she sees the Marrok is in the entryway way to the house in the middle of the night. She's too distracted by the fact her father is home safe to pay much attention to the others in the room as she is carefully wrapped into his arms. He looks like crap and smells worse even to her normal human nose. She can't bring herself to care as the tears she's fought so hard not to shed wet her eyes. When she unburies her face from her father's chest long enough to take note of the others there she's honestly too tired from the stressful nights of waiting to register anything beyond them being in one piece and alive. Later, after the first good night's sleep she's had in days, there will have been too many new faces for her to register who was who. The only one she can place a name to with any certainty is Charles. Mercy laughs and tells her Charles has that effect on people when she goes to see her later.

The first time Jesse meets the Marrok is not long after on a midnight escapade to calm her nerves. Another nightmare has had her shooting awake and the images are still playing in full technicolor behind her lids each time she closes them. It's been almost a year since she was taken hostage and yet the blinding terror feels as fresh as ever. She'd turned down therapy when it was offered. What was she supposed to say? Yeah, some werewolf thought they could use me as leverage to make my dad behave so they could use him in some murder plot with a side of treason? She'd known how well that would have gone over. She'd thought they would fade over time. Maybe they would have if things had gone back to normal; a demon vampire threat, murder plotting psychos, and the attack on Mercy had happened instead. Jesse didn't bother adding the destruction of her social life and ongoing mom issues to the list since they just seemed to pale in comparison to the rest. Anymore Jesse found herself waiting for the next horror story. The most recent of which was currently causing all the wolves various fits. She currently wasn't clear which was bothering them more: one of their own being resurrected or Mercy being pulled into the pack. The kitchen light is on as she rounds the corner and she expects to see any number of people outside of the vaguely familiar stranger currently staring back at her. Somewhere between him asking her if she couldn't sleep and making the hot chocolate the same way Mercy does it dawns on her this person who looks barely older than her is the Marrok. Her tired brain tries to summon up the awe with a side of shock she should be feeling and fails miserably. Instead she finds herself nursing her mug of cocoa and making small talk while the Marrok takes drinks of his own. In the midst of the conversation he manages to get her to verbal vomit about her nightmares and the troubles she's been having at school. She manages to find out he has a deep dislike of Shakespeare, has a deep love for music, and possesses a terrifying wit. By the time she is making her way back to her room and he to the guest room she is feeling better then she has in months. He's already gone when she gets up leaving her without ever getting a chance to say thanks. While it isn't a big thing it bothers her just enough to pull her phone out and send a text to the number she'd all but forgotten. The simple thank you is accompanied with a YouTube link to her favorite Lindsey Stirling video. After all, Jesse views not knowing who she is and being a violinist as a crime. The little smiley face emoji she gets in reply makes her grin.

The next time they meet she's the one providing the hot chocolate. The pack has managed to get themselves entangled with a fairy queen and Mercy has yet again made the sacrifice play. Everyone is chasing their proverbial tails trying to find her while remaining outside of her father's war path. In the meantime, Jesse feels she's improved in her chaos handling as she's only broken down twice. Apparently having your boyfriend kidnapped and going on to a fairy queen's court doesn't have the same punch as other things she has dealt with lately. When she sets the mug on the coffee table it's the wee hours of the morning and the Marrok has been seated cross legged on their monstrosity of a couch for the better part of a day. If she hadn't gotten to know him a little better over the previous months she would have felt she was intruding. However, Bran was not against using all available resources and she'd been pulled in regarding the newest resident of Aspen Creek. Kara and Jesse had clicked right off the bat and become faithful texting pals ever since. Bran rubs the bridge of his nose and blinks hard a few times despite his eyes having been closed before reaching for the mug. He looks beyond exhausted and she knows not all of it has to do with the current situation. Kara has confided in her about his lack of sleep and the way he's been running himself ragged. Jesse does her best to lighten the mood with a joke about the fairies contacting them any moment begging them to take Mercy back. Her effort is rewarded with an amused smirk and a quiet chuckle. She ends up rambling about different ways Mercy is driving the fairies nuts and is encouraged when Bran joins in. Jesse wakes to the noise of people rushing around. Bran is smiling and gripping a walking stick with a white knuckled grip from his spot on the couch when he tells her Mercy has been found.

Jesse is biting her lip to keep from laughing too loud as she informs everyone the butterflies have succeeded where the dove idea failed. Marji is cackling on the video feed in victory while Bran seems too amused to care he has just lost a hundred bucks. Two days pass in a blur of emergency calls and group texts. Despite the short time frame the wedding goes off without a hitch. Mercy is surprised and Jesse can't remember the last time her father looked so blissfully happy. Once the two love birds are off Jesse spends the rest of the reception twirling around the dance floor with Gabriel. The raised eyebrow this gets her from Bran makes her stick out her tongue. The fact Mercy comes back from the honeymoon in a wheelchair shouldn't have been much of a surprise. Jesse can picture Bran doing his iconic bridge pinch when she sends him the picture.

Bran's text to Mercy makes Jesse's lips quirk in amusement. After the destruction of the Rabbit she could use the humor. That humor plummets when the number comes up disconnected when Mercy tries to reply. The knot of concern only tightens with each person Mercy tries and fails to reach. The pain of it becomes near unbearable when they find Ben and no one else. The pain doesn't start to ease until she recognizes the dark haired man fighting beside Tad. After months of having Asil tease her about her hair after seeing it during a video chat with Kara she'd know him anywhere. Seeing her father and the pack alive and well makes the knot come undone. At least it does until she realizes one is missing and hears of Peter's death. She knows how her father will take the loss and can't bring herself to add more weight to those already overburdened shoulders. So she turns her focus to looking after the younger Sandoval children and burying her feelings as deep as possible. This works until Asil catches up to her in the kitchen getting together snacks for the kids. All he has to do is ask if she's alright and she falls apart. Asil pulls her into a hug and gives reassurances in Spanish. Jesse doesn't understand a word but it soothes her all the same. He tells her everyone in Montana is safe and she sags in relief. When everything is over and she gets a new phone that has been programmed by Charles, Asil's number is listed in the contacts.

Her mother has only been living with them for a day and Jesse wants to scream. She loves her mother but watching the resulting train wreck her mere presence is causing makes her wish she'd just leave them all alone. Even though her talk with Mercy has eased some of the hurt and anger, it hasn't gotten rid of it. Mostly because despite what Mercy said she can see the way her mother has gotten under her skin and cut her to the quick. Anger and the need for a voice of reason has her contacting Bran. Bran gently reminds her Mercy is more than capable of holding her own in a dominance dance. He must know this isn't what she was looking to hear because the next message contains Charles' number and instructions to text him. Jesse has no idea why Bran would have her talking to Charles but she copies and pastes the message she previously sent like instructed. Bran must have warned his son because Charles doesn't seem surprised to get the message. Charles turns out to be an unexpected fount of wisdom when it comes to the difficulty of broken family dynamics. It's odd how hearing from someone else that she is allowed to love her mother and yet not like her makes it feel OK. By the time her mother's stalker has been dealt with Jesse thinks she might finally be finding the path between love and hate.

Jesse isn't a wolf, but she can still feel the moment Bran breaks ties with the Columbia Basin Pack. She doesn't wait for her father and Mercy to come out of the office. Tad seems to know something is up but doesn't say anything when she gives the excuse of homework and heads to her room. Her phone is a lead weight in her hand because what do you say to someone who just had to throw away someone they love? A part of her is angry too. Angry at the pain she knows this has caused Mercy and the difficulty it will cause her father. However, Jesse knows what it is like to be caught in a situation outside your control due to the actions of those you love. She types out a promise to do what she can for Mercy and to send a warning the instant something happens requiring help. She ends the text with a little heart emoji. Current circumstances might make it harder but family out ranked all else. Jesse already knew if something happened Bran would help. She's proven right when Baba Yaga saves her father in Underhill.

Jesse's proven right again when Bran goes with her father to get Mercy back from the Lord of Night. He sends her a message promising her he will bring Mercy and her father back in one piece. She replies telling him she knows. She also tells him to come back in one piece too or she's going to have to go all Buffy the Vampire Slayer. At this point she's gone to battle to protect her new pyro of an adopted younger brother and managed to keep him from burning the house to the ground. She's pretty sure she can at least annoy a vampire lord. The fact she'd have backup from an Italian mercenary, a Dark Smith and more than one werewolf pack was completely irrelevant. After all the one thing she knew for certain was you always looked out for your pack, your family. Which is why as soon as she hears everyone is returning from Italy in one piece she sends a message to Tad for him to tell his dad. She also makes sure Warren passes on the message to Stefan though he doesn't need reminding. She snaps a picture of everyone getting out of the car when it pulls up and sends it to Charles and Asil because she knows hearing someone you care about is safe is not the same as seeing it. And because he is family in her eyes at this point, after she hugs her father and Mercy, she hugs Bran too.

#mercy thompson #patricia briggs #Bran Cornick #Jesse hauptman #writing

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dearmrsawyer · 3 years

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well IT WAS A YEAR. it was also emotionally two weeks and five years? lol. its been a lot, but there were some real positives from this year that i wanna reflect on just because! they’re nice to think about!!

i’d love to know if any of you have any positive things from your year that you’d like to reflect on. accepting asks where we can celebrate your little wins too :)

in general i’m just quite proud of myself for how i’ve managed the library this year, given that its just me. its been hard feeling more disconnected from our students, and also trying to provide them with support that can reach across the void created by distance learning. it wasn’t 100% successful all the time! but it can’t be, and i never aimed for that. i just did everything that i felt i could reasonably do as a single individual, and i think i did my best! i spent a lot of this year driving out to post books to our students, or meeting them at convenient locations to do book swaps, and i’ve spent a lot of time coaching academics through online systems over zoom so that they could effectively teach their subjects, and i’ve spent a lot of nights and weekends prepping materials that needed to be made available to students ahead of class, because our academic staff weren’t able to finish them while i was still on the clock (i’m def not trying to @ our academics here! they’ve been delivering material late all year bc of how much extra work they’ve had to take on too! its just the roll on effect bc i’m the last link in the chain). i’ve felt a huge sense of camaraderie with many of my colleagues this year, and am grateful i had them to make this work year more manageable. but i know i’ve been doing a lot of hidden work and i think i did well :)

oh man i loved turning off my wake up alarm in march and never turning it on again!!!! I think i can count the number of times i’ve had to use my alarm on one hand, and they were mostly dr appointments. it feels so comfortable to wake up when my body decides, whether its 6am or after i should already be working LOL. there have definitely been ebbs and flows to how well i’ve slept throughout the year, sometimes i know exactly what’s affecting my sleep and sometimes i have no idea, but regardless, the absence of an impending alarm has been such a nice way to compensate for.. everything else lol

i started growing vegetables!!!!!! I spent a week in March digging out a patch of my yard, and then the next month or two growing seedlings, and i successfully grew snow peas, silverbeet, beetroot and lettuce :D i also added dill to my herb garden, and successfully propagated thyme and lemongrass! i did attempt a few other vegetables that didn’t pan out, mostly because snails kept eating my seedlings jkjdgkj but it was so exciting to successfully grow something that i could then EAT! and i’ve also been able to figure out which vegetables i consider more convenient to grow, for example buying leafy greens can be super inconvenient bc i find its often impossible to use them all before they go bad. they sell greens in such ridiculously large bunches! but growing them myself, i can go out and pick however many leaves i want, and the rest won’t go bad because they’re still on the plant! i also started to stagger how many seeds i wanted to grow which meant they weren’t all maturing at the same time, and i didn’t need to use them all at the same time.

Supernatural finished this year which was NOT a highlight 😭 but it was originally scheduled to finish in May, and i was given the gift of 6 whole extra months to live with this show as a work in progress. as much as i still wasn’t ready to say goodbye in November (would i have ever been ready), i was given so much unexpected extra time to appreciate being IN it while it was still going. i spent so much of this year reflecting on how big a part of my life this show has been, and how much its given me and shaped me. from the ages of 14 to 29 i was able to live with this show as a close friend, and i’ve never taken that for granted, but i am so thankful for the extra time i was given to reflect and appreciate it even more deeply. also supplementary highlight is how much that ending meant to me <3 the world can think whatever it wants but i was on that journey for 15 years, i was there for every episode, never falling behind or taking a break, and that ending honoured the story i watched, and i am very grateful that the pain of it ending was cushioned by the sense of peace and fulfilment that ending gave me.

i finally found hair products that WORK!!!!! i’ve had the same hair routine for like a decade (basically sans products) and i thought i should use this extended period of time where i exist unobserved to experiment. i’ve never really bought hair products for myself, i’ve always inherited them from my mum bc she always had a surplus of products she’s collected over the years. our hair couldn’t be more different so i’ve never experienced a product that was particularly effective LOL. i have v dry hair that’s naturally curly/wavy but extremely frizzy, and i have soo much of it!! so many hairs on my head! my mission was to find a way to let it dry naturally without all that frizz popping up, and without having to dry it in two big twists. the only products directed at curly hair that i’ve ever been aware of is mousse, which used to give people that crunchy look that i can’t staaaaaand but i’ve spent a few months buying quite a lot of products and testing them out one after another, and i’ve found a couple that i absolutely LOVE!! this is big for me bc i always structured my week around when i wash my hair (the day of and day after i’m unavailable lol). i’ll still have to structure my time around it somewhat bc it takes so so long to dry, but its going to be less of a drama if i have to do things when its not completely dry yet, and also i just feel like i’m finally getting to let my hair do its own thing without it stabbing me in the back 😂

i think that human connection has probably been more important this year than ever before, and i’ve often felt like maintaining connections requires energy i just haven’t had for a lot of this year. but i also feel like i have been very connected? i feel like i put in the work. my best friend and i shared a few phone calls this year even though neither of us have ever really been big on phone calls (neither of us have ever talked with people on the phone much in our lives lol). i’ve skyped with my Norwegian friend Ellen almost every month this year!! my friend Bel and i started exchanging sporadic voice messages again, which i’ve just loved. i’ve video chatted with Steph even though it was a scary new venture! and it was so amazing! i do feel like i’ve had less interaction with people on my dash this year, but i feel like working from home has changed the ebbs and flows of my energy throughout the day sooo much, and i just haven’t been online as much when other people are, but i’ve spent a lot of time connecting with people over whatsapp! when it comes to family, being around my grandparents was really really stressful for the first half of the year, but as the situation in Australia eased we relaxed enough that we were comfortable to spend time with them without our masks (plus we weren’t seeing anyone else lol). and i was able to make myself available to them more often while working from home, since i live only a minute away! we stopped having our big family lunches until September, and when we were finally able to get back together we enjoyed each other’s company so much. so while i haven’t been face to face with people on a daily basis, i don’t think i’m any less connected to the people that matter than i was a year ago.

#not thinking about next year yet! i'll probably do that in a few weeks towards the end of my holiday #tp

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parjiljehavey · 4 years

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Lost Shadows Left Behind ii

Summary: Dante meddles, once again. Hopefully, the results are what Nero is after.

Read on AO3 for details notes at the end!

3rd of May, 1:43pm

One year, ten months and eighteen days after the events of Redgrave City

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It had been some months since Vergil had divulged the name of the woman who had clearly ensnared his heart. Things had improved between Nero and Vergil; they were actually starting to bond, sometimes at Dante’s expense, but hey, Dante was never one to look a gift horse in the mouth. Dante’s brother had gone off on his own for a hunt, heading over to Siberia after they'd gotten word that locals were claiming vampires were running around several villages.

Vergil went because Dante didn't speak Russian; he only knew Spanish, Latin, and Italian with a smattering of German; mostly because Dante had liked how foul language sounded in German. Vergil, on the other hand, was a damn polyglot.

Nero had called off and on, busy with the mobile branch and the kids he and Kyrie were raising. Last time Dante had talked to Vergil, the elder twin had actually gotten a letter from Nero with a post script calling him an asshole for forcing Nero to write an actual letter like it was the 19th century because Vergil didn’t have a cellphone.

Vergil, of course, went out and bought the cheapest cell phone he could find after receiving it. Dante had been wheezing for air over Vergil’s grumbling over technology and uncooperative locals. The phone number scribbled on a piece that Dante handed to Nero was met with a nose wrinkled with disgust after the kid had racked the balls for a game of pool. Nothing like a game of pool after pizza, in Dante's opinion.

"Dante, a three year old can write better than this."

"Hey! That's not anyway to thank your amazing uncle for writing down your old man's new phone number. Especially when said uncle is letting you drink his beer." Dante was grinning despite the reprimand. Nero took a drink from one of said beers, raising an eyebrow. "Don't text him by the way. Stick with phone calls; he's still figuring out how to play Tetris on the piece of crap he got. Wait until he gets a smart phone for texting." He broke the rack. A stripe went in. "Solids are yours."

"You mean like the one you broke by falling into a river?" The kid was leaning on his cue, watching as Dante lined up another shot.

"I was thrown into that river, you little punk. I didn't go out that day looking for a swim. If I wanted to go swimming, I would have packed my broad shorts." Dante could have cleared the table if he had wanted to; but this was bonding time with his nephew, so he intentionally messed up his shot.

Nero gave him a look that conveyed that he knew what Dante was doing as the kid set down his beer next to Dante's own to circle the table for a good shot. After pocketing one, Nero did the same thing Dante had and missed on purpose. They fell into a good silence; the crack of the cues hitting the balls as they took turns making their shoots.

“How’s the search for momma doin’?”

Nero grunted, clearing not happy. Oh, he knew that look. It struck Dante for not the first time that this was Vergil’s son and they made similar facial expressions. Dante sighed. “Alright kid, spill it. Tell Uncle Dante what’s buggin’ ya.”

Nero snorted, as he always did when Dante called himself ‘Uncle Dante’ in a conversation. Dante waited, taking his time with his next shot to give the kid some time to get his thoughts into order.

“There’s only two women that it could be. One died in ‘94 and the other disappeared a month or so after I was born. The problem is that the woman who died was a nun; the Spardan nuns took their vows of chastity seriously and very rarely left the convent’s tower. When they did, it was documented for what reason and when, right down to the time. None of the nuns left the tower around the time Vergil would have been in Fortuna.”

Dante leaned against the table, twirling the cue stick in his hand. The kid was pacing, not even paying attention that it was his turn now. “So that leaves the one who disappeared, right? Where’s the problem there?”

“The problem is that she didn’t disappear in Fortuna. There was a group that helped those who became disillusioned with Sanctus get to the mainland; to start over. The majority of that group was... eliminated. A surviving member recalls taking a woman to the mainland shortly after I was born.” Nero trailed off, scowling as his grip tightened around the cue. Dante could hear the wood beginning to creak.

“Nero.”

“What?”

“Wanna put the stick down before ya break it?” Nero looked at the stick and set it down on the table after a moment. When his nephew remained silent, Dante sighed. This kid was too much like his old man sometimes. “I take it the trail went cold after she hit the mainland?”

Nero sighed, moving to sit down heavily on the new couch Vergil had gotten for the office. The old one had kicked the bucket finally while Dante was taking a nap, making Vergil actually laugh. Nero eventually nodded, head in his hands. “The trail went cold when she arrived in Genoa. There’s literally nothing left to go on.”

The earlier anger that the kid had was gone and now he was just deflated. Dante really didn't know what to do or say; so he did what he did best. He created a distraction by knocking the beers from their perch on the table. Nero snorted despite himself; kid probably knew what Dante was trying to do but if the kid was laughing, Dante'd take it. Dante looked at the mess on the floor, sighing. He shrugged, “Wanna get us some new ones while I clean this up?”

“Actually wipe it up, Dante. Putting the rug over it doesn't count.”

“What if I roll Vergil's chair through it? The wheels getting gummed up will annoy him.”

“Dante!”

—————————————————————-

3rd of May, 3:32pm

—————————————————————-

Dante stared up at the ceiling above his desk, processing everything from the past few hours. Nero had volunteered to go pick up pizza, and Dante was sure that it was both for the kid to clear his head and to talk to Kyrie without Dante teasing him too much for it. Dante really didn’t want to make a habit of meddling in affairs that weren’t his (First giving Vergil a kick in the ass about Nero's mom and now this?), but this was for family right?

Family helped family when said family needed help. Dante picked up the phone and dialed one of the numbers that he pretty much knew by heart now.

“Hey Morrison! I want to know if you can dig up some information on somebody for me. You can have whatever you want.”

Got a name?

“Yeah, Lucrecia.”

Lucrecia? Dante heard the information broker repeat it several times under his breath and then heard a rustle of paper.

“From what I understand, she arrived on the mainland sometime in the nineties from Fortuna, ended up in Genoa. Trail went cold on our end of things there.”

Lucrecia Capello?

“Dunno. Never got her last name, if she had one. Why?”

I’m thinking that the Lucrecia you’re looking for is the same one I’ve got in mind. Remember that coalition that formed about ten years ago?

“Yeah? What about it?” Dante remembered it; some hunters pulled together to train up new hunters in a manner that meant less of them dying on their first couple of hunts as greenhorns and a more accessible list of jobs. Readily available backup and access to an arsenal of weapons were big enough bonuses that had a lot of human hunters signing up.

They had extended an offer for him to join when the coalition had first formed, one that still stood because he never responded one way or the other. Lady had actually considered joining up, but Dante couldn’t remember if anything came of that or not.

She’s part of it. One of their top ranged hunters, as it turns out.

“Ranged as in what? Bazooka?” Explosives were a popular choice amongst human hunters.

No, son. Sniper on the rooftops. She can shoot doublets .

Dante let out a low whistle. Doublets, as it was called amongst sharpshooters, was two shots hitting two targets in quick succession. Very impressive. “Where is she right now?”

Got that right here, son. ‘Bout a hundred miles up north of you last I heard; been there for a while actually. I believe she’s training a new hunter; took on a couple C rank jobs off my hands. Want her number?

“You mind?”

Nah. It’s for your nephew ain’t it?

“There’s nothing that gets past you is there Morrison?”

Afraid not.

—————————————————————-

4th of May, 7:38am

—————————————————————-

One year, ten months and nineteen days after the events of Redgrave City

For the second time in just as many days, Dante had given him a phone number. His uncle had handed him a piece of paper with a grin after Nero had come back with the pizza, stole a couple slices and went off on a hunt. All the hunter had said was, “Think this might be the woman you’re looking for, champ.” and out the door he went for a job. Nero looked at the number again, scrawled in Dante’s horrendous handwriting.

It had taken Nero hitting a This number has been disconnected message twice before he realized that Dante’s nines were written like fours. Seriously, the five year old Nero and Kyrie were raising could write better than this. Nero grumbled, leg twitching as he listened to the phone finally dial.

Password?

“Are you Lucrecia Capello?” Jeez, it was hard to talk. It felt like he was swallowing his tongue.

Depends on who’s asking. Do you have the password? The voice was melodic, with a dry wit.

“No. Listen, this isn’t about a hunt.” There was a snort on the other line. “Don’t hang up! My name is Nero. I-” He cleared his throat, “There’s no easy way to say this. I think I’m your son.”

...When were you born?

“September 19th, 1992.” The sound of a sharp inhale.

And where were you born?

“I’m sorry?”

Where were you born?

“Fortuna.”

The other line was silent for several long moments, and Nero would’ve thought the call had been disconnected if he wasn’t able to pick up the sound of choppy breathing and someone in the background asking if something was wrong. Nero jumped when he heard a door slam shut. He thought he could hear a racing heartbeat; he didn’t know if it was from the other line or his own. It was just now hitting him that he was more than likely speaking to his mother.

“Hello?”

What would be a good time and place to meet, Nero?

—————————————————————-

tagging: @queenmuzz and @starrymindgurl

#devil may cry #devil may cry 5 #vergil x nero's mom #vergil #Vergil Sparda #even though vergil is only mentioned #dante #Dante Sparda #nero #nero sparda #nero's mom #nero's mother #uncle dante #dante's trying to be a good if meddling uncle #we met momma next time~

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blue-honeycomb · 4 years

Text

Quiet Devotion 4 [Hawks x Reader]

I'll edit this at a later date...

Summary: Part 4 of the 'Quiet Devotion' series… Somehow this story's managed to wring yet another part out of me. What am I doing with my life?

Reader Details: Emotional, humble, loyal, introspective, independent.

Quirk: Life Fiber (A.K.A Soul Silk).

Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

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Six Years Ago

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Fast doesn't even begin to cover the sheer speed the winged hero is capable of, and coupled with his reaction time and environmental awareness he seems down right inhuman at times. As far as you can tell there are few skills he's incapable of executing mid-combat and you find it all the more admiral that a considerable amount of that talent is focused on support and rescue work. It says much for his character that life takes precedence over the promise of glory

Memories of darkness and pain nip harshly at the back of your mind, the fear that'd overcome you when the car fire had finally died out was printed red on the backs of your eyelids. You can still smell the stench of burning gasoline and the heavy tinge of sweet iron, the feel of sand in your hair.

You dream of it sometimes, even a year later. You don't usually get back to sleep afterwards either, despite the tear inducing exhaustion riping painfully though your body. Instead you pull up the 24/7 Hero News website and hope that you'll catch a glimpse of red feathers flashing across the screen, hear that smooth, masculine voice quipping at his comrades, snarking at his opponents.

Anything to make you feel safe again. Anything to remind yourself that the dark of your room is only temporary, that the blankets tucked tightly (too tightly, always too tightly) around you are soft and pliant under your hands.

The news plays in the background as you finish washing the night's dishes, reporters droning on about Hawk's exploits in a seemingly endless stream of praise and condescension. Rapidly cooling water drips down the front of the kitchen sink and soaks the front of your shirt despite your best efforts, and you take a moment to unstick the cloth from your skin with water-wrinkled fingers.

The fabric is sopping in some places still, heavy and discolored with dish water despite the wringing you give it. The rain outside seems to somehow add to that feeling of dampness despite you having not been outside all day, the pitter-patter of icy droplets battering your window like icecubes caressing your spine.

It's as you lament the condition of your clothes and the weather that the beginnings of a though begins to take root in your mind.

'If only my clothes were made from my quirk.' You thought exasperatedly, not for the first time, while entering the livingroom to watch the rest of the report before you had to do laundry. 'Then I'd never have to worry about wet clothes again.'

On the news Hawks stands before the cameras with his trademark devil-may-care smile on his lips, eyes half-lidded and entire hero persona picture perfect but for the way his clothes seem to sag and darken unevenly from the rain. A more aggressive reporter manages to sneak in a baiting question about the teenager's glaring inexperience in the field and the winged hero quips back in response, water dripping from the tips of his long deflated hair.

He looks miserable standing in the rain, the bright colors so characteristic of him dulled and darkened by the gray overcast, by the rain soaking him to the bone. Even as he's smiling you can tell it doesn't reach his eyes, barely even manages to fully form on his lips as question after intrusive question is hurled at him from the hoard of intent faces. You don't miss the way he glanced to the side occasionally, towards a rail thin man standing quietly beside him, meeting the teen's gaze every time with a narrow-eyed stare.

You don't think you've ever seen Hawks so unhappy before. Not on the battle field with hellfire raining down around him, nor any of his interviews with a panel of venomous snakes breathing down his back. Not even when he'd misstepped during his first solo multi-villian battle and had more than half of his left wing exploded right off his back.

No. You'd never seen him looking so miserable before and more than anything that quiet discontent in his eyes racked your soul with a sad, profound longing. Without conscious thought the tips of your fingers begun to warm and turn black, dark roots creeping up the veins in your fingers and fading at the knuckles. Moments later the beginnings of your silk spilling forth onto your lap and latching onto your pant legs catches your attention.

It did that from time to time when you got overly emotional. Frankly, the lack of control was embarrassing and never failed to remind you of why you were never able to train it past its current potential. Your doctor had said it was nothing to worry about though, and that you could maintain a normal life even with the occasional accident.

You'd thought about going to a quirk specialist shortly after you'd hit your current limit, but ultimately decided against it when you caught sight of the price tag attached to each visit. You reasoned that even if you managed to start producing more silk there'd be little use for it besides having readily available materials on hand if you ever felt the need to sew. So you dropped the matter entirely and carried on with your life.

Until a year ago, that is, when your whole world came crashing down around you.

You quickly shake those thoughts away, instead focusing on detaching the silk from your clothes before they can weave into the fabric they're touching. Yet another oddity you've had to learn the hard way. For the first twenty or so seconds before it cools and solidifies, the silk will try to latch onto any available surface and meld to it. Honestly, it was more annoying than anything and sometimes you regretted not being able to get it checked out by a specialist.

It took a few moments but you eventually managed to get the silk separated into their individual strains. They're each around ten inches long, though some had managed to stick together at the ends to more than double their length.

Exasperated, you pluck up the longest of the bunch with the tips of your darkened fingers, holding it before you with a frown. The black strands remain stuck together and you knew from experience they'd now be impossible to disconnect.

The flash of red on the television catches your attention for a moment and your sight blurs as it attempts to refocus. In that brief second, however, the black of your silk melded seamlessly into the darkened cloth of Hawk's soaked jacket and undershirt. In that exact moment, the quiet thought came to your mind.

'My quirk has never been useful to me. But maybe, with enough patience and effort, it can be of use to someone who deserves it more than anyone.'

And so begun the trials of your labor. The physical manifestation of your unspoken devotion.

---

Present Day

Hawks wasn't sure what expression had managed to slip past his usually perfect control, but whatever it was must have been fearsome indeed because the young researcher before him was sweating bullets beside his mentor. Said mentor was glancing disappointedly at his assistant and had yet to step in, instead opting to shake his head and cross his arms with quiet exasperation.

"So." Hawks begun in a slow drawl, still smiling but for the way his eyes narrowed. "We're just throwing civilian names into hero politics now are we?" The assistant lowered his head, but remained silent. "Making sure to break all those confidential clauses, huh? I've got to admire your spirit though. Go big or go home is the name of the game in this industry, after all." The winged hero clapped a hand over the other's shoulder, making sure to look him right in the eye as he finished. "How's it feel to be the uncontested winner?"

The assistant took a deep, fortifying breath before finally speaking. "I got carried away. My actions were a direct violation of Proper Hero Agency Conduct and I understand there will be repercussions. I-" The young man pauses again, almost breaking eye contact but the hand tightening on his shoulder quickly made him reconsider. "I let my pride get in the way of proper procedure and it's potentially put a civilian in danger." The assistant grit his teeth and closed his eyes. "I didn't win anything. I fucked up. Knew it the moment their name came out of my mouth."

There was a tense silence before Hawks himself broke it with a loud, exaggerated sigh. "It can't be helped I guess. Chicks gotta break a few eggs before they can grow after all." Everyone pointedly ignore the fact the Hawks was only a few years older than the assistant. Most of all the assistant.

The winged hero threw his head back, letting his entire posture slump and his face crumple into an irritated frown. "They're probably having a heart attack right now."

You were panicking. Inwardly, for the time being, but you weren't too far from having a total breakdown. For three hours your phone has been blowing up with an unknown number of texts and calls, half of them demanding your compliance and the other your service, all of them wanting your attention. None of them were making much sense.

The bit about various hero agencies wanting you to work for them was clear, what wasn't though was the why in this situation? The only thing you could think of was the uniform you'd given Hawks (you were well aware you'd probably been on camera the entire time you'd been near Hawk's agency), but such things were dime a dozen in the hero industry and you didn't believe for a moment Endeavor's agency was hurting for costume designers.

The next thing you could think would prompt this response was that there was something about your quirk you were unaware of. Something, apparently, heros deemed valuable enough to look for. What it was you weren't sure, but you knew enough about yourself to know your quirk, while fairly simplistic, was still an unknown to you in many regards.

Still, the sudden influx of unexpected messages was stressful enough. Add that to the fact most of them were from distinguished hero agencies with members that could literally demolish mountains and you were feeling more than a little pressured. Even a little frightened by some of the more demanding messages you'd managed to glimpse before retreating to the other side of the workshop.

You could barely move your furniture across the room most days, what could you do if the likes of Best Jeanist or Gang Orca decided to pay you an unexpected visit?

Okay, that was the panic talking. Not only was that scenario completely illogical, the jab at Gang Orca for having a stereotypical villian aesthetic was uncalled for. Time to recenter yourself and get some much needed fresh air into your lungs before you start accusing All Might of fraud or some such nonsense.

It takes a few minutes to get the muscles in your back to loosen and your mind to stop spitting out half-coherent worst case scenarios, but you manage with a few intense rounds of breathing exercises. By the end of the ordeal you're exhausted, even a little sore from the lack of air before hand. You're functioning again though, and that's what matters.

Now in better control of your thoughts the most obvious solution to your current predicament comes to you with little prompting. You don't even hesitate. There is not a single doubt in your mind as to what you must do.

This is your chance to finally pay back the man you owe your life too. This may very well be the only chance you'll ever get and you've learned that life is far too short to squander the moments that matter.

Your slip on your coat and gloves, making a few last minute adjustments around the shop before stepping out the door and locking up behind you. With your purse on your shoulder and your eyes lit with hopeful determination you walk out into the world with renewed purpose.

You leave the phone.

Nothing they have to offer matters. It never has and you doubt it ever will. They could offer you jewels and they'd collect dust, the world and it'd keep on spinning. They could grant you eternal life and you'd have given it up in a heartbeat for this one chance.

He's the only one that matters. The only one whose attention means something.

He is your priority. He is your only priority.

#Takami Keigo #Takami Keigo x Reader #Hawks #Hawks x Reader #BNHA

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deathandhumanresources · 3 years

Text

Introduction

I tapped my pen annoyedly against the bone of my cheek and stared across my office to the clock hanging above the door. It was 4:24 PM CHT (Central Heaven Time) on Saturday and I had reached a point of such anticipatory boredom, that I simply could not work a minute more. Sundays were our days off and the weekend was approaching one abysmally long second at a time. Of course I was never not working (after all, the two constants in this existence are taxes and me) but the idea of stepping away from the endless paperwork before me for even an iota of time filled me with such a Heavenly power. I checked the clock again. 4:25. I was almost there.

The truth is, I was burnt out. No one had told me at the beginning of Creation that there would be so much paperwork involved. Who would have thought that I’d remember fondly the old days? My bones used to ache from heaving that scythe around. My job was on site instead of this stuffy office and I’d be sent to all manner of detestable locale to pick off some plague victim or starving child. Still, there was always that certain nostalgia for the things I used to have.

That was the time before we enlisted the Psychopomps, before my duties became managerial and administrative. It was before Heaven went corporate to keep up with the new laws of man. The management up top had always admired humanity’s imaginative ways to self govern. They now worshipped efficiency, bureaucracy, and the almightiest of almighties: The Dollar.

Forgive me. I blaspheme.

I moved my fidgeting pen from my cheek to my nameplate at the front of my desk. The tapping produced a far more satisfying sound on solid gold than it did on bare bone. I hoped to drown out the baseless sentiment, at least until the clock struck 5. My gaze wandered to my stacks of workflow. Two ivory boxes lay in perfect symmetry at my desk’s edge, one labelled with a gold-speckled “IN” and the other with an ink-black “OUT.” The stacks of paper that emerged from each box were nearly equal in height, though the stack for “OUT” was a slight bit taller.

This was acceptable. Soon Eremiel would stop by and remove the contents of the “OUT” box before filing the work away in a corner of a room that would never be referenced again. When Monday rolled around, the “IN” stack would be higher but would shrink throughout the following week. No one would question my progress as my work was constant.

“Monday.” I thought to myself and the anxiety of a fleeting weekend that hadn’t even begun wriggled its way into my head. I did not notice but my tapping became harsher and more frequent. I jumped when I knocked my nameplate backwards onto the desk with a thud. Peering, I read the words scrawled in Angelic font.

AZRAEL

Chief Angel of Death

The name on the plate almost sounded foreign in my mind. It was rare to talk to anyone who referred to me by my given name any more. These days, most everyone refers to me by my title and my purpose.

My phone rang, sending me into an even greater jolt. I was distracted. I peered at the clock again. The face read 4:36 and I sighed, knowing that the monotony would soon come to its temporary close. I straightened my back into my chair and reformed my composure. I adjusted my summer sky-blue tie and straightened the lapel of my void-black suit coat. My mind wandered back into sentiment for just a moment as I considered the dark sheen of that coat. Once upon a time, it wasn’t a coat but a cloak. Before that, it was something else.

The phone rang repeatedly with a drawl I had come to loathe. I hoped one day to bring an end to that phone. Instead I put an end to its ring. I grabbed the receiver and placed it to the side of my skull.

“This is Death.” I spoke wryly into the transmitter. At first, there was no response. Then, I sensed a coldness down my spine that invoked a fear I had not felt in millenia.

“Hello?” I repeated “Hello, this is Death!”

“It sure is.” A voice as deep as a distant thunderstorm hissed through the earpiece.

“I’m sorry?” I said and, although I didn't have a throat, my voice cracked.

“I said, it sure is, Azzy boy.” The voice was quick to respond.

“May I ask who’s speaking?” I struggled.

“You may,” it said with an equal quickness, “but I think you know exactly who this is.”

“I do.” I admitted. My bones began to rattle against my desk. A call like this was highly irregular. “I’m not sure you’re supposed to be using this line.”

“I just wanted to catch up, old friend. How’ve you been? I’ve heard some great things about you! I hear you get busier and busier every day!”

That was the truth. Work had steadily increased in the convening years. The assurance from the voice on the other line brought me no comfort.

“I’m afraid,” I interjected, “that I can’t tie up this line with casual conversation. This number is for official death and dying inquiries only. I am available for appointment if-”

“None of that matters much any more, old friend.” The hiss interrupted with a tone that was anything but friendly. “I wanted to call to let you know that we’re deciding to move forward with the acquisition and your services are going to be highly sought after in the near future.”

“I’m sorry?” I said again. “I’m not sure I-”

“The big one! I hope you’re polished up on your horse riding!” There was a pause and I heard a hoarse, muffled laugh in the background.

There was a brief knock at my door and Eremiel stepped into the office. She regarded me with indifference as she approached the stack of “IN” papers, lifted them with two hands, and made back towards the door. She briefly eyed the tall stack in the “OUT” box and met my gaze with a look that said “You’re really going to leave all of that unfinished?”

Thankfully, I do not have a face. Otherwise my returned look would have said, “I do not presently care about my current workload because I am stricken with an existential horror!” Instead I pointed to my phone to denote that I was too busy for chiding. Eremiel rolled her eyes and left without a word.

“Are you still there?” The hiss returned.

“Surely, this is some sort of prank.” I said when I was sure Eremiel was out of earshot. “The Plan is working so well! Without a hitch, I’d say!”

“Without a hitch?” It mocked me. “Always the naive one, little Azrael. Though you were always so dutiful too. Still, people are dying so things are going without a hitch, huh?”

“Of course!” I mustered an ounce of confidence and answered. “Acquisitions are up on both sides! I figured you would be happy with the numbers! Things are-” I hesitated. “Things are equitable!”

“I don’t really care much about any of that now.”

“But, a takeover?” I sputtered. “Really?”

“Oh, why do you care, Azrael?” The hiss became a shout so fierce that I pulled the phone receiver away from my head. “Do you think I can’t feel the yearn in your bones, little Angel? What if I were to tell you that the takeover is part of The Plan and always has been? Then how do you respond? Do you remain the little office drone you are, hoping to someday buzz in Father’s ear? Or do you embrace the old ways?”

“The old ways?” I mused back into the phone as I absentmindedly regarded the clock again. Even as I stared, my mind refused to make note of the time.

“One way or another, you have a lot of work ahead of you. Lot’s of names to write down!”

The hiss inside the phone gave a final, coarse laugh before I heard a click and the endless tone of a disconnected call. I held the phone upright for an uncomfortable time before returning it to its cradle. My sight finally focused on the clock face. 5PM, the day’s end. Finally.

“The old times.” I said to myself.

#fiction #metaphyics #angels #demons #magic #magick #occult #my writing #writing #death #grim reaper #readthis #fantasy #humor #witchcraft #horror #religion

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luckdogpuppy · 3 years

Text

Why I Hate Electronics

In the old days we had ms-dos and had to fiddle with config.sys and himem.sys spending endless hours and sleepless nights trying to get the computer to run a program. Computers have come a long way since windows 95 but using them certainly hasn’t gotten any easier. I remember wondering back then why they couldn’t make a computer that actually worked, that actually figured out how to make itself work and work with other programs and devices…after all, it is a computer, isn’t it? No, instead they just get more complicated and mystifying. Now its modems and routers and ethernets and wifi that drive me crazy, and trying to cope with constant buffering when I try to watch Netflix. Who the hell can remember which remote to use to access the right button? And when you do find the right remote to access your tv who can figure out how to get to whatever it is you need to fix? And how many fucking passwords can a person remember? And passwords have to be more complicated every year. I can barely use my phone, flipping from one screen to another with my finger. It seems the only way to get out of certain screens is to shut your phone off and restart it. And nobody tells you this stuff…you have to figure it out on your own. Ever read the Microsoft manual? Who does? Just looking at the pages makes me scream. And even when you go to Youtube they go so fast you have to pause it every two seconds to write that shit down. I have endless sheets of paper in a drawer filled with step-by-step instructions on how to do computer problems. Why? Why can’t computers do these things by themselves? The last time I lost my internet connection I got all excited when I discovered this thing on my computer that told me it would run a diagnostic of my system and troubleshoot it. Wow, that sounded great. When I went there and ran it it said “you have lost your internet connection.”

They say that computers can do everything, but they still haven’t given us a computer that can fix itself or even do something as simple as letting us plug it into a router without having to go through an eleven step process to get the damn thing to work. What pisses me off is that I know they could do this. I can’t even get my two wifi extenders to work. By some miracle I did get them to work for a while but one day they both just shut off and I haven’t been able to get them running since. I can’t get past the step where I’m asked for a password. It says I’m supposed to use the one on the back of the router. Well, what it says on the back of the router is “password: (leave the field blank)”. Except when I am asked for the password it won’t let me leave the field blank. Instead it says “your password is not long enough.” Then I’m told to go to my wifi icon on my taskbar to find out what the password is. But I don’t have a wifi icon on my taskbar. So I go online and find that there are pages on how to find and/or replace the wifi icon on my taskbar, and after going through all five of the different methods of finding and replacing that icon on the taskbar without success I learn that there is no way I’m gonna get that icon to appear on the taskbar because the Windows 10 system that came with my computer doesn’t come with a wifi icon on the taskbar; Microsoft removed that file in the latest version of Windows 10. I learn that I have to buy Windows 10 Pro to get that stupid wifi icon. Are you shitting me?

I finally did find an obscure site that explained a convoluted way to find out what your router and extender passwords were. You have to start with your command prompt to get there…but that didn’t help…surprise, those passwords there didn’t work either. And don’t even ask me how to go back there and look at those passwords again. It took me an hour to figure out how to get to my command prompt from my start menu. Hint: don’t left click like you’re used to doing. When you left click on the Start menu you are presented with a long and very impressive list of places to go, all in alphabetical order, and you would think that the “Command” prompt would be there under the “c” column. But no, there is nothing that says “Command Prompt”. No, you have to right click instead. You’ll find another list of places to go there. But even then there is nothing that says “Command Prompt.” You have to click on “run” for the command prompt to come up. There is a lot of shit you can do through the command prompt but nobody is going to tell you what the secret codes are that will allow you to do those things. It used to be easy to get to the command prompt. All you had to do was click on the “Start” button. But now they’ve decided to make this an hour-long quest to find it. I have all this shit written down on endless sheets of paper in that drawer. Truth be told this electronic world makes me tear my hair out. I hate it with a passion. What pisses me off even more is that I also love it…when it’s working.

I can’t even get my computer to recognize my own email address. I bought a new Dell desktop three years ago and still get a daily message saying that I need to fix a problem with my Microsoft account. So I periodically go through the process and change my password but no matter what I do I still get that stupid message. I even had Microsoft tech reps guide me through the process three times now yet I still get that same old message. And every time I try to access my Microsoft account I’m told “that email address is already used by a different account.” I deleted all my accounts and started over but the message still comes up…the problem remains. I’ve explained all this to those tech reps but nothing keeps that message from coming up. I even signed up for a different email address but that didn’t fix the problem either and now I have an extra “Outlook” email address that I never use and wouldn’t know where it is if I did want to use it. I think the problem started when I bought a new Dell laptop. I had to sign up for a Microsoft account then. But I didn’t care for the laptop and sent it back two days later and ordered the desktop…and now Microsoft still thinks that whoever owns that laptop has the rights to my email address and not me. I explained all this to those Microsoft tech reps but that didn’t solve anything either. Yeah, this stuff bothers me. I’m the kind of guy who doesn’t like loose ends. I like things to be neat and tidy and feel like everything is in its place. But this computer stuff feels all scattered and disconnected and just fucked up. I know it’s working on my mind even when I’m not struggling with it.

In order to fix my Netflix buffering problem (and my wife’s need to have internet access for her work-at-home job) I bought a new router. I’ve had the same old cheap router for 6 years so I figure its time for a new one. I did just buy a 40 ft ethernet cable that I plugged into the back of the router and ran it along the ceiling down the hall and into the back of the tv in the living room, but we’re still having problems with “Home not available” still coming up at times. I actually bought a new router last year; an Archer A7. But I was never able to get it to work so I had to send it back, thinking it must have been defective. I realize now that it probably worked just fine and that the problem was me…that I couldn’t figure out how to get it to work. Then I had a helluva time trying to get the old one up and running again. Did you ever feel that your brain was on fire and ready to burst? That was how I felt after struggling with those two routers for 3 days. So my new router came last week and it turns out it’s the same model; the same one I tried to set up and sent back last year. I thought it was a different one because it was called a Tp-link, but its actually an Archer A7 too. On the box it says it’s a AC 1900 and on the instruction sheet it also says it’s a MU-MIMO Wi-Fi Router, so just figuring out what these things are called is a science in itself. So now I’m frightened to death to even try to set it up. The first thing the instructions say is “if this” and “if that”…as if I know the answers to these ifs. There is also a long list of FAQs in case you have problems and need help. That scares the shit out of me, too, cause I know I’m gonna need help…and lots of it. Then it gives me three different methods of setting the thing up, all of them quite convoluted and requiring me to access various internet sites, SSIDs and wireless passwords. Then I have to go to a number url: 192.188.1.1 and I remember that this is where I had to go to get my extenders to work but I was never able to get those urls to come up. Then I found out that they only come up if you use Google Chrome, and of course there is nothing in the instructions that tells you you can only use Google Chrome. No, you have to find that out on your own too. So now I have to change my browser and come up with another password so I can access Google Chrome. I am so afraid that I will not be able to complete these steps correctly and that I will then have to struggle another two days to get my old router to work again that the new router is still sitting on a shelf two weeks later. I’m thinking that I should go to Best Buy and have the Geek Squad come and set up my router but I know I’ll have to listen to them explain their convoluted tech plan that will ask me to decide whether to get a one visit deal or buy a year subscription…and I know one visit will not fix all my loose ends. And it makes me wonder if that is the reason why computers intentionally aren’t made to fix things.

Oh, by the way, I’m sitting here writing all this down with my Microsoft Word, and now I find that I am unable to save what I’ve written because I don’t have a subscription to Word any more. I guess my free time is over. God, don’t you love it? You can’t even buy a computer with a simple word processor in it without having to pay a yearly fee to use it. Next thing you know somebody will figure out how to put a chip under your skin that measures how many breaths you take so they can charge you for the air you breathe.

Dear Lord, if reincarnation is real please let me go to a world that is either before computers or way beyond computers. Or better yet, where computers and routers and extenders actually use a computer so they can work together.

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ritewaymovinglove-blog · 5 years

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Moving Company

We hope this moving guide will help you as you prepare for your local or long distance move.

Review our moving process, customer responsibilities and traffic protection details. It is important that you read and understand this information and let us know if you have any questions.

Moving Company Canada

1. Determine the estimated weight of your products.

The first step of the moving process is to determine the estimated weight of the products you are sending. This can be determined from a list of items obtained from an internal estimate, from a list of products that you sent to us by email, from a list of products obtained by phone or from a list sent through your agent's website of reservations.

2. We provide you with a budget.

Once we know the weight of your shipment, where you will move and where you will move from, and when you move, we will provide you with an estimate of the costs. Your Moving Consultant reviews all the details and services with you and lists them in your Estimate.

3. You reserve your move.

A deposit is required for your reservation and is taken at the time of booking, this deposit is deducted from your total charges. A reservation number (registration) is issued and your move is reserved for the agreed date. We send you by email all the documents related to the move for review and registration, so it is important that we have your correct email address at the time of making your reservation.

4. We reconfirm the details of your move.

We will contact you again by phone or email at least two days before your move or packing date to confirm your start time, address and services. If for some reason we have not been able to contact you, it is important that you contact our Office at least two days before your move-in date so that we can review all the details with you.

5. Our team is sent to your home.

Removals in Canada

The crew assigned to your transfer will be sent and will arrive at the scheduled start time. If they are delayed due to traffic or any other unforeseen circumstances, they will contact you before your start time to inform you about the delay and the expected time of arrival.

6. Review of your contract, services and list of items.

When we arrive at your home on the date of your move, we will introduce you to your moving team and place floor corridors to protect the main traffic areas of your home. Van Foreman will ask you to sign the contract and complete a tour of your home with you to review the list of products that will be sent and the services that will be provided as they appear on your Bill of Lading and Estimate Form. It is important that your list of items that move on moving day be the same as in your estimate. Your reservation is based on this necessary weight and space and we may not have space for additional items. Any additional items may have to be moved later in another truck.

7. Packing (we can help with that)

If we pack your household items, all items are professionally packaged in mobile cardboard boxes; And as long as you have declared the value of your products, all the items we pack are covered by our traffic protection (see details below). You can make your own packaging as long as you understand that your products do not have the same coverage; because we cannot confirm that the contents have been packaged and packaged correctly. However, if it is proven that there is a negligence (damage of the outer carton) caused by our equipment to its packed cartons, we can be responsible for the damage of the content. If you notice external damage to your boxes, open the box, inspect the contents and identify and record any damage in the presence of your Van Foreman on the Inventory Form in the Delivery Exceptions column.

8. If you move to the warehouse or long distance.

If your products are moved to storage or long distance, an inventory of the items you are sending and their condition at the origin will be created. It is important that you review this inventory with Van Foreman to make sure you recognize the original conditions of the items that are shipped.

9. Wrap.

Sofa sets (with the exception of leather) and upholstered items, mattresses and bed bases must be wrapped in plastic to avoid damage. The cost per piece is $ 10.00 - $ 15.00. All other furniture will be blankets wrapped in professional mobile blankets.

10. Calculate the final balance you owe.

Your shipment is weighed (scale) to determine the final charges. Before the truck arrives at your home, it is weighed on a certified scale. This process provides the "light weight" (tare) of the truck before loading your shipment. After loading the truck, we return to the scale to get the "Heavyweight" (gross weight). The tare weight is subtracted from the gross weight to give us the "net weight" or weight of your shipment. If a scale facility is not available, the weight of your shipment can be determined using the Construction Weight. In this method, the weight of your shipment is determined by the volume of space it occupies in the truck. Length x height x width x 7 pounds per cubic foot = the weight of your shipment. Van Foreman forwards this information to our Office and, within 2 business days, the final charges are sent to you by email.

11. Delivery notification at destination.

Your Van Foreman will contact you at least one day before arriving at your new residence. At this time your final delivery date and time will be scheduled. Make sure you have adequate parking and that elevators are reserved if necessary.

Discharge of your goods

Upon arrival, the crew will place floor corridors to protect their floors in the busiest areas of their new residence. You will also be asked to instruct the crew about the room and the location to which you want their items delivered. You must check the items in your Inventory and verify that there are no damages or missing items at the time of delivery. If damaged or missing items are noted, write them down in the Delivery Exceptions column of your Inventory Form next to the corresponding number of the damaged or lost item.

Bill of lading and final inventories: once everything is downloaded and you have confirmed that you received your products, you will be given a final signed copy of the bill of lading and inventories for your records.

Don't forget to send your moving expenses to your accountant; Most moving expenses are tax deductible.

Customer Responsibilities

Tractor Tow units are an average of 80 feet long and require at least 100 feet of parking space. It is your responsibility to inform us of any access problem, such as parking restrictions, construction, inaccessible entrances and any other circumstance that prevents the tractor-trailer from approaching 100 feet from your residence. Sidewalks and driveways must be free of debris and snow. Please note that if your tractor-trailer does not have adequate access, a smaller unit may be required to transport your products at an additional charge. A ferry involves loading your goods from a residence in a small truck and then transferring them to the tractor-trailer unit elsewhere.

It is your responsibility to ensure that you or your representative are available at your residence during the entire packing and loading process to authorize the move, instruct the crew and sign all relocation documents, such as bill of lading and inventory forms .

It is your responsibility to ensure that items such as freezers and electronic devices have been repaired (disconnected, thawed, wrapped in cables) and are ready to ship on the day of the move.

The items you pack are not covered for damage under your Traffic Protection unless negligence occurs on our behalf. However, if we pack and damage occurs, it has full coverage. Unpacked loose items such as mirrors, televisions, glassware or anything that can fit in a cardboard box should be packed. The shipment of loose items may cause damage or loss and this will be at your risk.

Most customers declare a value of $ 6.00 per pound on their items. This means that if you have a carton of 40 pounds and declared $ 6.00 / lb, the maximum compensation you would receive in case of loss is $ 6.00 / lb x 40lbs = $ 240.00. It is possible to have cartons with a much higher value than this minimum quantity, so you must declare their value appropriately if more coverage is needed. We consider that any cardboard box with a value of goods greater than $ 1000.00 is a high value item (with the exception of televisions, since they are considered standard items). You should identify these cartons and high value items on a High Value Items Form and review them with our Van Foreman on the day of loading. This process will require inspection of the contents, a list of the article in a Form of high value items and our staff will be very careful with these high value items. High-value and fragile items, such as marble, glass, works of art or paintings, must be packed or packed; If they are shipped unpacked, they are shipped at your own risk. We do not accept items of extraordinary value, such as cash, jewelry, valuable documents, coins and stamps; You must carry these items with you. Be sure not to send items such as passports and your driver's license. Take these items with you too.

It is your right to review the Inventory Forms and approve the list of items shipped and the conditions of the items at the time of collection and question any items that do not appear to be correctly listed.

You will be asked to complete an inspection of your home once we have completed the load to ensure that we have packed and removed all items. The items left will be your responsibility.

Destination Responsibilities

Be sure to have contact phone numbers for you at the destination: this is the only way we can communicate with you, so let us know of all phone numbers and any email address you may have. They must appear in your contract.

Make sure you have adequate access to your moving truck at the time of delivery. Tractor-trailer units require up to 100 feet of parking space. If we do not have adequate access, a transport truck will be used with an additional charge.

Have your final payment ready for the driver at the time of delivery. This is due before downloading and must be of the type listed. If paying by credit card, the cardholder must be present with the card at the time of delivery. Credit card payments must be made online at the time of delivery or in advance if you do not have access to the Internet.

It is recommended that at least two people be available to receive your shipment: one to mark the items on the Inventory Form as they enter your home and a second to inspect the conditions of the items and go to the location you want. tucked in

Any damaged or missing item must be noted on the Inventory Forms prior to your driver's departure to be considered a valid claim.

Make sure you have a complete set of signed and dated documents (bill of lading and inventory forms) before your driver's departure.

Traffic protection

Great Canadian Van Lines is committed to providing you with the best possible traffic protection for your products. Although we have one of the lowest claim rates in the moving industry, loss or damage of your products may still occur. We offer two types of protection for your products while in transit:

Type I: Value protection released

The value released protection is the most economical type of protection for your products. This coverage is mandatory according to the Motor Carrier Law and is offered at no additional cost. However, this coverage is minimal and will cover your products up to a maximum of 60 cents per pound per item.

Although this coverage is the most economical, you should think carefully before choosing this type of coverage, since average household items are worth considerably more than 60 cents per pound. This coverage restricts the total value of your products by multiplying the weight of your complete shipment by 60 cents. Claims for loss or damage are resolved based on the weight in pounds of the item multiplied by 60 cents.

An example of how this coverage works is as follows:

Your 48 "TV is dropped and destroyed and you have chosen the Protection of Released Value. The weight of the TV is 60 pounds and the maximum payment amount you would receive is 60 pounds for 60 cents, which equals $ 36.00 ( 60 pounds x .60 / lb / item = $ 36.00) The TV cannot be replaced with $ 36.00, but this is all you will receive.

Great Canadian Van Lines does not recommend the Protection of released value of its products unless it has a secondary coverage for its products, such as a homeowner's policy that covers its shipment while it is in transit. Keep in mind that some homeowners policies have expensive deductibles that are not worth paying. We recommend checking with your insurance broker before choosing your coverage.

Type II: Replacement Value Protection

This type of coverage is the most commonly chosen, as well as the one we recommend in this mobile guide. This protection is the most complete plan available for the protection of your assets. When choosing Replacement Value Protection, if an item is lost, damaged or destroyed, we will repair, replace with the same or a similar item, or offer a cash payment for your item. The value of the item is determined at the current market value and is not calculated based on the depreciated value.

You have the option to declare a value based on the weight of your shipment multiplied by an amount not less than $ 6 per pound. This means that if your shipment is 5000 pounds, you can declare a minimum of $ 6.00 / lb for 5000 pounds or $ 30,000.00, or choose a higher value, such as $ 10 per pound. You can also declare a lump sum value (provided it is greater than $ 6 per pound) as $ 100,000.

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Although, this option is superior to the others, it has an additional cost. Every thousand dollars of declared value for your assets will cost you $ 6. This means that if you request $ 100,000 of coverage, it will cost you $ 600 (100 x $ 6).

An example of how this coverage works is as follows:

His shipment weighs 5000 pounds and decides to take the minimum option of $ 6 per pound. This would cost $ 180.00 (5000 pounds for $ 6 / lb = $ 30,000, 30x $ 6 = $ 180,000.

If your 48 "TV is damaged and has replacement value protection, your TV will be replaced by the same or comparable TV at the time of damage or you will be given the fair market value of the TV in a cash agreement.

Exceptions to traffic protection

Although you may have declared Replacement Value Protection, Great Canadian Van Lines cannot cover certain items while in transit. The following is a non-exclusive list of unprotected items.

Boxes packaged by the owner: items that are not packed by us and that are damaged are not covered by traffic protection unless there is external physical damage in the box that is recorded in the inventory forms at the time of delivery and it shows that we did the damage.

Items of extraordinary value: any unusual item whose value exceeds $ 100 per pound, such as: art, software, antiques, high-end furniture and family heirlooms, must be accompanied by an appraisal certificate from an accredited appraiser and must provide us in advance . of your move or these items will not be covered.

We cannot move cash, valuable documents and precious metals such as gold, silver and jewelry. These items are not covered and an agreement will not be made for items like these if they are reported missing or missing. This is one of the most important things to keep in mind in this mobile guide.

Mechanical condition: Great Canadian Van Lines cannot cover mechanical or electrical items due to its fragile and sensitive nature unless there is physical damage external to the unit. Examples of these elements include, among others:

Televisions, DVD players, stereo equipment, computers, machinery and appliances.

It is recommended that, in conditions of extreme heat or cold, allow all electronic components to warm to room temperature (manufacturers recommend 24 hours) before plugging them in, plugging them in and turning them on before this 24 hour period could cause damage and it will be your responsibility.

Prohibited items: Dangerous items such as flammables, explosives, paints, aerosols, propane tanks, fuel and equipment containing fuel, ammunition and flares should not be sent.

Plants: We do not recommend shipping plants and are not covered by Traffic Protection.

Liquids: We do not recommend sending bottled liquids or wine, as they may leak or break and cause damage to your products, damage caused by leaks of liquids that you send are not covered by your traffic protection.

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satorisa · 5 years

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Lift the Veil - Chapter 12: Easily

Rating: T

Summary: After living in Tokyo for the past six years, she decides to head back to Azumano to escape the big city. However, she now has to face everything that she tried to flee from all those years ago. How exactly will she fare when the pages of a long forgotten book start turning once more?

Alternate links for reading available in my description!

Hover over the chapter title if you’d like some easy listening to compliment this spicy update! ;)

(please take this before finals hell hits me because feelings hell already has and i am currently drowning in them while clinging onto anything to get me out of it.)

Chapter 12 – Easily

Coming and going, inside out, back to front all tangled and messy: that’s how we’ve been

The morning following our return, I received an e-mail asking me to head into the news station first thing in the morning. And so, stricken with a terrible case of jet lag, I trudged in looking as fierce as I could to mask the tiredness, greeting the ever-present security guard and coworkers I’d barely spoken to until I arrived at my superior’s office. He greeted me, all smiles, insisting that I sit down despite telling him I was fine standing up; if I sank down into that ottoman, I knew I’d pass out immediately.

“I’m sure you’ve heard about Sugisaki-san’s retirement last week.”

I remembered Takeshi mentioning an old coot finally leaving a while back and skimming through an e-mail while in Vienna about someone’s many years of hard work, but I didn’t recall who exactly it was, so I just nodded. At least I had an idea.

“That old coot’s been here longer than I’ve been in charge, and it was something to see that man churn out broadcast after broadcast with those bony hands of his!” He laughed. “We’re sad to see such an integral part of our team go, but it’s better he leaves before he actually breaks like a twig!” Yet another round of laughter. “However, his departure has opened up a spot on our broadcasting team and so, with our station’s best interests in mind, we decided to have you take his role!”

This didn’t come as a surprise from all the office gossip I had heard so, with a practiced smile, I thanked him. He tried to make small talk, but I told him that I needed to delegate my work to the other editors and talk to the team to understand what my promotion entailed, so he let me go.

I headed to my cubicle and took out my phone to share the news. I called Takeshi first since he deserved (and needed) to hear the news before anyone else. He picked up not even after a full ring, asking me what was holding me up.

“Good morning to you, too,” I answered.

“Don’t give me your sass. I know you’re back; is it the jetlag? Still at your apartment?”

“Nope. I’m actually at the news station; I’ve been promoted to become a part of the broadcasting team.”

“Congratulations, Risa! I mean, I’m not surprised because of all those rumors that were floating around, but damn, I wish I could be super happy for you.”

“What? Jealous of me going places in my life?”

“Nah, I’m perfectly fine living the life of a groveling reporter. I just wish they’d given me some prior notice about your promotion; I’m gonna miss ya, Risa.”

“Aw. I appreciate your sentiment, but you really should save that for Akane.”

Takeshi groaned. “I swear, you and the Chief always have to ruin a good thing with ya’lls sarcasm. Anyhow, I should probably—Chief!”

“What the hell do you want?” I heard Hiwatari grumble softy from the receiver. Yikes.

“It’s Risa!” I could imagine Takeshi shoving his phone in front of Hiwatari’s unamused face.

“…why should I take it?’

“Dude, I know you woke up on the wrong side of the bed, clearly, but just briefly entertain me. Please. You won’t be disappointed.”

Hiwatari sighed, and I could hear him grabbing the phone from Takeshi. “Hello, Harada-san. Has jet lag pinned our one and only editor to her bed, which explains her absence this morning?”

“Haha, very funny,” I drawled. “Don’t doubt I’ll be pinned to some sort of seat soon because yeah, it’s killing me right now, but no. I’m actually at the news station right now. I just got promoted a while ago.”

“Really? Congratulations, Harada-san. I’m finally free from your extended company in my station. Takeshi, grab the salt so we can cleanse this place of her presence.”

I heard Takeshi cackling in the background while I rolled my eyes. “In all seriousness, I’m happy for you. Really. I’m sure Takeshi’s planning something for your lunch later underneath that bed head of his, but I have a prior engagement, so I won’t be able to be there. How does dinner at my apartment sound?”

“Oh my, Hiwatari-san! So forward! You’re making me blush!”

“Ha. Ha.”

“You’re no fun.”

“Glad to disappoint.”

“But yeah, that sounds good.”

“I’m glad. I’ll see you later then.” I heard him hand the phone to Takeshi.

“Yo, how the hell did you manage to cheer him up so quickly? He looked about ready to kill everyone within a meter of him when he walked in this morning slightly late.”

“Happiness is contagious?”

“Are you sure it’s happiness, or is it—”

“No.”

“Come on! Lemme have my fun here.”

“And risk having Hiwatari return to his foul mood because he overheard you spouting nonsense?”

“You right. Anyways, stay hungry because I’ve got a feast planned for you later!”

“Hopefully packed with caffeine and B-12 vitamins to help me get through this day?”

“Does tiramisu work?”

“Good enough.”

“Anyways, you should—huh?” I heard muffled mumbling. “Hey, Chief said to make sure to call your parents about it.”

“Huh.”

“Weeird. Anyways, good luck with today! You’re gonna kill it, Boss.”

With a smile on my face, we hung up. I decided to message Riku, Daisuke, and Ritsuko since I figured they’d be busy. Hiwatari’s words hung in my mind as I pulled up my mother’s number. My thumb hovered over it until I took a deep breath and decided to call her.

I expected to get her voicemail, but she picked up, greeting me with that light-hearted tone of hers. “Good morning, Risa, dear. How’re you?”

“I…um…got promoted. I’ll be working on the broadcast now instead of editing stories.”

“Congratulations! Have you told your father yet?”

“No. I was going to call him after I called you.”

“Well, we should celebrate this! Is there a day when you’re free for dinner?”

“I’ll…um…I’ll let you know later. Thanks, Mom.”

“You’re very welcome!”

We said nothing for several seconds, and I gulped. Did she have anything else to say? Did I have anything else to tell her? I—

“Well, I’ll leave you to call your father. Have a nice day, dear!”

I heard the disconnected line and sighed before calling my dad. He picked up quickly as well: right after one ring.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Dad. I, uh, just got promoted. I’m working on the broadcast instead of just editing stories.”

“Good.” There wasn’t much fanfare compared to when I called Mom; I didn’t expect there to be. He had expected excellence from me the moment I was born and, for most of my life, I really couldn’t offer that to him. Only when I was accepted into Todai and worked at the NHK did he acknowledge me, ever so briefly because of how hell bent I was to become estranged from anything related to Azumano, so his praises never fully reached me.

Clearly, my parents were not the only ones at fault here, but I digress.

“Congratulations. You’ve done well.”

He it said it with that gruff voice of his, tinged with subtle pride, that sparsely echoed through my childhood. I nearly choked up hearing it. Was I deprived of parental attention? Totally.

“I’ll let you go. If you come back early tonight, we should talk.”

“Yeah. Thanks, Dad. Bye.”

“Goodbye.”

Yet another disconnected line. Glad I had gotten those awkward interactions out of the way, I started getting to work, hoping that I wouldn’t burn myself out before lunch arrived.

…

At noon, I started packing up, expecting to meet Takeshi at the police station when I saw him leading Daisuke, Riku, and Ritsuko towards my cubicle. Daisuke had a vase full of flowers while Riku carried bags full of food from the restaurant she worked at. Ritsuko paraded her small balloon bouquet around, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Missing the Chief already?” Takeshi snidely asked once in my cubicle.

“No? Why would I?”

“You did spend a whole week with him in a foreign city.” Ritsuko pointed out.

“So?”

“Well—”

“Continue that sentence, Takeshi. I dare you.”

Takeshi pouted while everyone laughed before placing their gifts in my cubicle. Lunch was a nice affair, especially since Riku had brought exactly what I was craving, but it was cut short when lunch break ended since Daisuke, Riku and Ritsuko had to head back to work, leaving me with a very, very curious looking Takeshi.

Oh no.

“Now that everyone’s gone, I need the deets.”

“On what?”

“Your trip with the Chief! I knew something was up after you called earlier this morning, but he then spent the rest of the morning gushing over you like some poor, love-struck bastard.”

“Now I know you’re embellishing it.”

“Okay, maybe I am, but still! He was in a much better mood after talking to you, so explain!”

“There’s nothing to explain? We just got closer because of the circumstances of our trip.”

“Because you two shared a room?”

“Um, no?” Takeshi looked at me, expecting me to elaborate. “Even if we did have to sleep at a hotel, I’m pretty sure Kosuke-san and Hiwatari-san would’ve booked me a separate room.”

“…then where the hell’d you guys sleep if ya’ll weren’t at a hotel?”

“Did Hiwatari-san not tell you?”

“Sorry, he was a little busy gloating about you all morning to tell me about whatever juicy detail you’re hiding from me—spill!”

“Kei duped us into thinking that he died, so we stayed at his fancy apartment while we were there.”

He blinked before his face ran through a range of emotions. Eventually, he settled on some level of discomfort before leaning back in his seat.

“Ah, so he’s here. That’s explains it.”

I only looked at him in confusion, expecting him to fill me in especially since I so graciously satiated his curiosity earlier, but he didn’t. Takeshi just jumped up before stretching his arms over his head.

“Well, if anything, I’m glad you two are getting along again.” I opened my mouth to say something but Takeshi finished stretching. “Well, I’ve got a story to type up so I’m gonna go slave away in my cubicle. Happy working, Boss!”

He disappeared with a dramatic wave, and I couldn’t help but question what was going through his mind. But I had better things to worry about than the little mystery Takeshi brought up, so I went back to working, reenergized from the food and time with friends.

…

I walked out of the meeting room with a splitting headache, frustrated at my stubborn coworkers who refused to listen to my opinion. Maybe the old men were intimidated by my quick promotion. And, while the women were probably feeling the same way, I also wouldn’t put it past them if they were jealous that I worked with Hiwatari. (For whatever reason, that man was a hot commodity for all the single ladies in the office, some sort of idol figure for those who weren’t, and many of them were quite desperate to fill my old position assuming HR wanted to keep it.)

My phone rang, and I picked up without looking at the caller ID.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Harada-san.” Hiwatari? What did he need? “When will you be getting off of work?”

“After the broadcast. What’s up?”

“Is it fine if I accompanied you back to my apartment?”

I laughed. “Is this what you called me for? Really?”

“Yes. After what happened in Vienna, I’m not quite sure—”

“Hey. Stop bringing it up and making this awkward for us. Please. We’ll deal with it whenever it decides to rear its ugly head at us again which, considering our track record, might happen pretty soon, but don’t you dare jinx it. Knock on wood for us if you’re able to.” He laughed. “Anyways, I’ll let you know when I’m about to head out, so don’t pass out on me or anything.”

“I might…I am—”

“Don’t try to spite me, boy. I’ve got a headache, and I know damn well you’re more than capable enough to keep yourself from keeling over on the streets.”

“Yes’m,” he replied like a dutiful child after a scolding. “I’ll see you soon. Good luck.”

“Thanks.”

We hung up before I sat down in my cubicle, leaning in my chair and looking at the speckled ceiling. Why were my coworkers being so unresponsive now? I offered friendly suggestions and recommendations that they were receptive to back as an editor, but the moment I began planning our daily broadcasts, they all decide to throw a hissy fit.

Straightening up, I looked at the monitor, staring at the schedule for the primetime broadcast. Everything looked in order, but who knew what could occur leading up to it. Taking a huge gulp of my tea, I gathered my papers and notes before heading to the broadcasting room.

I need to be ready for hell, whatever that may entail.

…

The broadcast was awful in terms of how unpolished everything felt which made me feel equally as, if not more so, awful, so I had politely declined the after-work party my coworkers were hosting to celebrate my promotion (which wasn’t improving my reputation any for sure, but I’d rather they judge me for that than a rage-induced, drunken tirade during which I would proceed to make them feel as insignificant as possible) before heading back to my cubicle to pack my things. Takeshi had long left, leaving a poorly drawn doodle of himself on a sticky note he placed on my monitor, making me feel marginally better.

I lounged in my chair, mentally decompressing until I felt my phone vibrate to see a text from Hiwatari saying he just arrived at the news station. I quickly packed my stuff before heading down, waving good-bye to the security guard—one of the only friendly faces left in this building—before stepping out into the evening air.

“How was the first day of your promotion?” he asked.

“Terrible. The moment you’re put in charge of something, people’s attitudes change. Isn’t it ridiculous that something so simple can change someone’s perception of you?”

“Indeed. Titles can change everything.”

I pouted, hating how true it was. Did Hiwatari ever have to deal with that working at the police station at such a young age? Or was it something he’d dealt with for his whole life?

Hiwatari joked around the whole walk back to his apartment, spouting some crap about how he was the life of the party and, had he been present at lunch, would’ve livened the whole place up. He was being stupid, needlessly so that it was equal parts concerning yet entertaining, but he got my mind off of my train wreck of a day. If that was his sole purpose, then I applaud him for nobly sacrificing his dignity.

And, without him knowing, thank him for his kindness.

When we arrived at his apartment, I saw a man, nearly the spitting image of Kei, sitting on the sofa. He stood up and smiled at me, but I hid behind Hiwatari, trying to compose myself from seeing this doppelganger.

“Satoshi said to expect company over, but I didn’t think it’d be the one and only Harada Risa!”

Ick. He even sounded like Kei with that saccharine tone of his, veiling the jab his words carried. To anyone else, it would’ve been a wonderful compliment, but considering the context of my relationship with Hiwatari, those words were loaded. “One and only” meant that I was a very, very special girl to Hiwatari. And no, that special wasn’t meant to praise me at all.

Wait—

“Are you Hiwatari-san, biker extraordinaire?” I asked.

Kazama laughed. “Yes, indeed! I am Uncle Kazama, biker and lawyer extraordinaire. Pleasure to finally meet you!”

“It’s, uh nice to meet you, too…”

Well, that explained his overbearing presence. The cheerfulness exuding from someone who looked almost like Kei only made it worse, so I forced an uncomfortable smile. He headed to the kitchen, checking on whatever was cooking while Hiwatari dismissed himself to his room.

“So, Harada-san, tell me: what spurred my nephew to invite a fine woman such as yourself over for dinner?” Kazama asked with an insinuating tone.

“Um…Hiwatari-san invited me over to make up for his absence during lunch.”

“Sorry about that; he had to go pick me up from the station.” Kazama tasted his food and nodded approvingly. With how wonderful it smelled, I was nodding approvingly inside my head, too. “So, is lunch together with him a regular thing then?”

“Oh no. My friends held a lunch celebration earlier to celebrate my promotion today.”

“And his absence from that so happened to give him an opportunity to celebrate alone with you? Spicy!”

I cleared my throat. “Anyways, what brings you here?”

“Just checking up on my nephew and catching up with old pals.” Takeshi’s reaction to Kazama being in town earlier told me there was more to his words than he let on, but I understood why he was so guarded. I’m the “one and only” Risa Harada. From his point of view, I was probably just a tick that just needed to explode and die from being too greedy.

Hiwatari decided at that time to walk into the living room wearing a ratty t-shirt and faded plaid pajama pants. I couldn’t hold back my laughter at seeing him so…so…

“Now I know Emiko taught you better!” Kazama called.

“I can dress myself perfectly fine when I choose to, but there’s no one I need to impress here, and I want to be comfortable in my own—goddammit, Harada-san. Stop laughing!”

If he didn’t need to impress me, then Hiwatari probably didn’t see me as anything more than a good friend. And anything that reassured me about the platonic nature of…whatever the hell this was, comforted me. Even though our interactions hadn’t changed much from high school, they didn’t carry any extra meanings.

Consciously, anyway.

Eventually, I calmed down, and the three of us had dinner. Kazama’s cooking was delicious: much better than anything Hiwatari and I could make even if we cooked together. And when we finished eating, queued by the end of a hilarious story about Hiwatari as a child, Kazama said he had plans and left the apartment, leaving me and Hiwatari in charge of the dishes. And it gave me space to breathe from Kei’s look-a-like.

“God,” I gasped as I stacked the dirty plates. “He’s, um, something.”

“It’s a shock, isn’t it?”

“Yes!”

Hiwatari laughed as he stood at the sink, ready and waiting for the dishes. “You’re not the only one; it took everyone a while to finally get used to him when he started visiting Azumano.”

“I can imagine. That’s not a personality we’ve come to associate with that face, but he’s on par with Kei with that presence of his.”

He laughed again as I handed him the first set of dirty dishes. Thankfully, nothing occurred while we cleaned up, and we eventually migrated to the sofa once we finished. Hiwatari placed two of cups of scotch on the low table in front of us, and I cautiously eyed him as he took his first sip.

“Is there something wrong, Harada-san?”

“…I’m not going to see that side of you tonight, am I?”

“I guarantee you won’t. It takes more than this to get me to that point, so don’t worry.” He took another sip and sighed with content, like an old, successful business man. I almost expected him to surprise me and pull out a pack of cigars to finish off the image, but he pulled out his cigarettes and lit one.

“Are you stressed?”

“I love Kazama, but his ‘damage control’ visits tend to be very…stressful. For everyone. He’s quite good at it, I suppose, but he takes those words far too seriously.” Before I could ask what he meant by that, he stood up and opened a window. “Enough about Kazama though. Sorry if I overstep a boundary, but you don’t seem too enthusiastic about your promotion. You’re one step closer to achieving your dream of becoming a news anchor and, knowing you, you’d be more excited about it; your coworkers’ attitude wouldn’t even bother you.”

I frowned at him bringing that up before taking a sip of my drink. Yikes. That was strong and disgusting. Hiwatari shot me a look, probably offended by my instinctive reaction. “Okay, wow. That was something. And um, yeah. I appreciate your bluntness but, uh, you bringing that up is kind of stressing me out more than your uncle right now. Are you sure you’re not the one on damage control right now?”

“Sorry. Um…” Hiwatari Satoshi, reduced to a bumbling mess. What a sight to behold. “I was just concerned. And, if I were on damage control, you and I both know we wouldn’t be talking about your job.”

I groaned. “Can you guys just let me leave it in the past? Please?”

“I’m just warning you about Kazama should you ever find yourself alone with him. Trust me. He’s going to find a way to bring it up one way or another.”

I gulped down the scotch, coughing as it burned down my throat: the epitome of the taste of regret. No one told me that an innocuous invitation for dinner could possible lead to me getting burned and grilled by Hiwatari’s uncle as the coup de grace to this awful day. Granted I couldn’t have possibly known when I had accepted it, but still!

Shit!

“Harada-san, I’m offended that you’ve disrespected my drink twice already. But must you treat it like a shot? It’s meant to—”

…

Growing up, I knew I wanted a job that would make me famous. I had this huge obsession with becoming noticed in the world that I set my sights on stardom.

The attempts I had in child modeling and acting, despite my talent for it, fell short when many of the gigs that would propel me to the public’s eye required long stays in Tokyo that neither of my parents had the time to allot for. (And, frankly speaking, my father thought was nonsense.) I wasn’t limber enough to get anywhere in dancing, and my singing voice with its normal timbre and average range would only land me a semi-regular gig at a café or bar at best. Whatever attempts I had with playing instruments or creating art failed because I didn’t believe in practice, only perfection at first try, and I hated sitting down for such long periods of time. And so, after turning on the TV and watching the news that one fateful day, I set my sights on becoming a news anchor.

It was a dream that carried me through middle and high school, eventually landing me at the prestigious University of Tokyo. However, after deciding to double major for both the extra experience and added job security, I found myself enjoying Japanese Literature more than Journalism.

So much so that I wondered why I decided to intern at new stations instead of publishing companies. Maybe I was so transfixed on carrying out my childhood dream to its end that I became oblivious to how much I had changed.

This certainly wasn’t the first time my attachment to the past had sent me down a path I didn’t think was the right one to take. And if I only continued to stay in the past, it was no wonder that I kept losing sight of my present, hindering the future full of opportunities I couldn’t see.

…

When Kazama returned, Hiwatari had just finished drinking the scotch he poured for me. Honestly, I preferred having a beer or a fruity cocktail whenever I drink, so Hiwatari procured a can of beer for me before graciously indulging in my portion. By this point, he had gotten somewhat talkative and disturbingly smiley, and his intermittent giggles started to terrify me, so I was glad for Kazama’s arrival.

“It’s about time for me to head out,” I said as I started to stand up. “Thanks for having me over.”

“You’re welcome.” Hiwatari placed the crystal glass on the table and stood up, stretching his arms. “Let me—”

“I’ll walk her back, big boy.” Kazama offered. “You go sober up and get some rest. You’ve got work tomorrow!”

Hiwatari hesitated, probably worried to leave me alone with Kazama. But he complied, maybe realizing that there was no way he could help me weasel out of this, bidding us goodnight (and offering me an apologetic smile) before disappearing into his room.

Me and Kazama? What could possibly go wrong as I leave the boiling pot, only to find myself in the frying pan?

Kazama offered me a polite smile, probably out of courtesy before tears me apart. “Well then, shall we?”

Nodding, we left the apartment for the cool, evening air that only got colder with Kazama next to me. He started the conversation easily, making small talk that obviously skirted around his true intention. Only when we reached a stoplight did he shoot me yet another polite smile, so eerily close to Kei’s, that it sent shivers down my spine. And, from my experience with Kei, I knew that this was a precursor of great doom for me.

“Would you like to grab coffee with me?” he asked. “There’s a café called Mizuame de Noisette that I wanted to try.”

“I, um, don’t like coffee all that much.” I cautiously replied. Why the hell did he want to invite me to that specific place? Did he know?

I scanned his expression, but I couldn’t discern anything from that stupid smile on his face. He was waiting to strike, and I knew exactly what he would do from Hiwatari’s well-meant warning earlier, but I didn’t know how badly this viper’s bite was. Nor did I want to find out that day. Or ever, to be honest, but this was inevitably going to happen because old men liked to dig their nose into my business with Hiwatari.

What a fate.

“Then perhaps tea?”

“I’m trying not to spend too much this month.”

“My treat.”

“Honestly, I just want to go home right now.” The light turned, and we started walking. “Stop trying to invite me somewhere, and just come out with it.”

He let out a hearty guffaw. “I like your spunk! So, I’m assuming you know why I’m here then?”

“I have a vague idea, so what’s your deal with me?”

“Oh, I’m sure you know all too well. I actually don’t like you all that much, Harada Risa-san. You’ve done enough to Satoshi, and you decide to crawl back to Azumano for no particularly compelling reason and literally break my perfectly functional nephew with just the sight of you. And please don’t give me that victim bullshit; you’re not the only one who suffered from the consequences of your fever-induced kiss.”

I shot Kazama a look. God, he was even more like Kei than I thought. Scratch that. Kei was an angel compared to this fire spewing demon. I didn’t realize that this was what that bubbly personality was hiding.

“Don’t you dare scold me right now,” I growled. “Just get to the damn point because I barely know you, and you’re meddling far more than I’m comfortable with you doing.”

“You and Satoshi are like Cesium and water: contact with each other not only causes an explosion but also breaks everything surrounding the two of you. There was no need for you to come back; you literally ruined the equilibrium that everyone you left had finally reached. You deserve whatever loneliness you feel when you’re here because you no longer have a place here.”

“Fuck. You,” I snarled. “I left my family and friends here to try to move on with my life! Did you think I wanted to do that?! Todai be damned; if it meant that I could finally feel at home here, if it meant that I didn’t ever have to leave so that no one would find out and be torn between two sides, then I would happily trade my degree in for that peace of mind. I was so, so miserable in Tokyo, and I wanted come back home despite Hiwatari-san’s presence because I deserve to be happy, even if that meant having to finally face the consequences of my past decisions. And if I’m going to have to put work into these relationships, then so be it, but I don’t need some hotshot lawyer who knows jack shit about me saying that I have no place in the town I grew up in!”

Kazama laughed again, but that only made the anger festering inside me grow. “Feisty! Kei warned me about that but—”

“You didn’t think I’d be a total bitch? I’ve had an awful day and you, smarmy bastard who has no fucking right to smear me like that, decide that the best thing to do is to provoke me about this. I understand your belligerence, but this is just a prime example of why I never wanted people to find out. And for god’s sake, grow up and act like an adult instead of throwing this hissy fit and solely blaming me for something your ‘oh-so-perfect’ nephew has equal fault in!”

He went silent, hopefully reflecting on what I’d just said. I expected an apology or some snide comment about respecting one’s elders, especially after I had just blown up at someone older than me, but he wouldn’t relent on this damn topic. Was he just hell bent on pissing me off to the point where I might act on that niggling thought to push him onto the road, timed perfectly so that a passing truck would squish him into oblivion?

“You know you’re going to have to tell everyone about your not-so-secret secret if you’re going to open up to them.”

“I’m aware, and that is a bridge I will cross when I get there.”

“This is probably one of the worst decisions both of you have made to date.”

“You’re preaching to the choir here.”

“You two are bound to make the same mistakes again.”

“Maybe so, but people learn from their mistakes.”

We had finally turned onto my street, and I had never been so happy to finally see my house looming by the cliff since I had arrived. I quickened my pace to get away from this man who, honestly, was worse than Kei. Genuine or not, at least Kei was nicer and meant well.

“You two finally learned the important art of communication!”

“Oh, shut your—what is that?”

In front of my house, so close to escaping the company of this rancid man, Kazama pulled out a necklace from his pocket. An intricately decorated pendant depicting a blue bird in a cage hung from a delicate chain, but I shot him a look of both confusion and disgust instead of enjoying the jewelry’s craftsmanship.

“Hikari artwork.”

“Should you really—”

“It’ll do you better than the one Kei gave you. I was originally supposed to give this Satoshi, but you clearly need it more than he ever could right now.”

“Thank you,” I bitterly said.

He stuffed it into my purse before walking away. “Have a good night, Harada-san.”

“I hope you get run over by a truck.”

…

The rest of that week, after my terrible conversation with Kazama, was pretty uneventful and light-hearted outside of work. Takeshi visited me during lunch every day, bringing along Daisuke, Riku or Ritsuko if they were able to drop by. “To make up for the Chief’s absence,” Takeshi explained as if me, him, and Hiwatari had become some important lunch trio. The lunches were lovely though, minus that one time Takeshi only brought Ritsuko and they fought the whole time.

To make up for Hiwatari’s absence during lunch (which other furthered my question as to how the three of us having lunch together became a thing), he would invite me over for dinner. I tried turning him down whenever he said Kazama would be in, but Hiwatari promised that he’d made sure his uncle was on his best behavior, so I somehow endured relatively normal and tame evenings at Hiwatari’s apartment either alone with him or with Kazama’s added company. How that man effortlessly hid his nastiness behind that stupid, laid-back demeanor of his was beyond me.

And work? I didn’t realize that each and every day would amount to the same amount of stress caused by completely different things. One day it was the people. Another day it was the broadcast itself. No matter how much I tried to get everything under control, whether it be kissing up to my team or asserting myself to prevent the mayhem from getting out of hand, something would slip through my fingers and proceed to wreak havoc.

The night before Riku and Daisuke were going to fly out to Zurich, (also conveniently the night before Kazama would finally return to Tokyo) my parents decided to hold my celebratory dinner for my promotion. Takeshi, Akane, and Ritsuko all had plans that evening, and Kazama thankfully had a fun-filled night at the Niwas in store for him, so it would just be me, Hiwatari, and the couple along with my parents.

This was totally an ideal set up. Not.

While running errands that afternoon, I conveniently bumped into both Daisuke and Hiwatari, both equally frazzled in the midst of their own errand runs. (Ms. Emiko strove for absolute perfection as a host whenever guests came over, and Hiwatari only had the time and energy to perform these stupidly trivial tasks during the weekends.) We embarked on a grand adventure across Azumano, knocking off item after item on our own respective to-do lists until we arrived at the Harada mansion: our final destination.

I opened the door, greeted by the sound of clinking dinnerware and the lovely smell emanating from the kitchen. Hiwatari and Daisuke parked themselves in the living room while I headed to the kitchen to tell my family that I was back. It was empty but impeccably clean, the way my mother always wanted it, so I headed over to the dining area to see Mom and Riku plating the table. Dad stood in front of the wine cabinet, perusing our selection before deciding on several different white wines. He turned around to see me, offering me a kind smile, while Riku and Mom talked amongst themselves, grumbling about placement as they kept moving things around.

“Risa…”

Mom and Riku looked up, frazzled, before they shot me smiles as well. My mom returned to busying herself while Riku came over to me and pulled me into a hug. “Congrats, sis.” She let go of me before holding my shoulders. “Sure, your job may not be as snazzy as the one you had back in Tokyo, but it’s still reason to celebrate!”

I pouted, but Riku laughed before urging my mom to come over to me while she fixed the table, nearly undoing everything my mother had done.

“I’m so proud of you,” she said, smile gentle and eyes shining before pulling me into a hug. It felt awkward at first, but I relished in it shortly after. And when my father returned from calling our guests over, he joined in as well, and I saw Daisuke, Riku, and Hiwatari behind us with knowing smiles as if sensing how much this meant to me.

Daisuke and Hiwatari sat next to each other, the former also next to Riku and the latter next to my dad, while I chose a seat between my sister and my mom. Dinner felt like a scene from those American holiday movies, feeling simultaneously homey yet foreign at the same time. I still felt slightly out of place amongst the conversation, hearing anecdotes of events I never knew occurred, of topics that required background knowledge, gained from first-hand accounts or lofty rumors, that I didn’t possess, and the familial setting imposed upon me had made it exceedingly clear that I had been displaced, and I couldn’t help but have Kazama’s words echo inside my mind every time I had to force a laugh.

Once we finished dinner, Riku and my mom dismissed themselves from the table only to return to with gifts. Daisuke and Riku gave me a matching journal and pen set while my parents gifted me a large, fashionable designer purse that I could use for work. Hiwatari didn’t have anything for me, but all the free meals he’d been treating me to that week were more than enough.

My parents left shortly after the gift exchange since they had made plans to see Kazama at the Niwa’s, leaving the four of us left to clean up. Daisuke and Hiwatari tided up the table while Riku and I washed the dishes. I could hear Hiwatari shooting terrible joke after terrible joke at Daisuke, embarrassing the poor man who didn’t need his good friend to make fun of his plans to propose to Riku soon.

“They’re ridiculous,” my sister muttered as she scrubbed the dishes.

“Leave them be. Unless you’re jealous, of course.”

“Me? Jealous of Satoshi? Risa, you must be out of your mind.”

I laughed as I dried the dishes, sorting them out so that it’d be easier to put them back. There was something soothing about this monotonous activity, and I was glad that it had gotten my mind off of dinner.

“So, how was the food?” she asked.

“Absolutely delicious. Thank you!”

“You’re welcome!” She handed me a plate. “You know, Mom and Dad are trying. They just don’t know how to approach you, especially considering how you were when you left.”

“I know. And I’m grateful for it, really.” I forced a laugh before placing the dry dish in its respective stack. “Doesn’t feel like we’ve gotten anywhere though.”

“Well, it can’t be a one-sided thing, you know. You have to try, too.” She handed me yet another plate. “It wasn’t easy for me either when they decided to barge back into my life after being practically non-existent for our childhood. ‘Family’ was contained in our Sunday brunches, formal and habitual just like mass: present and relevant for an hour only to be forgotten for the rest of the week until Sunday came around again. They nagged at me to do this and not do that, to strive to be exactly like the prodigal daughter who went off to Tokyo despite being an emotional wreck instead of dutifully playing the role of a smitten girlfriend.”

“No…”

“Yup,” she chirped. “We fought a lot in the beginning, going around in circles and arguing about the same things over and over again, but it helped to clear out the air, and we started to get better. Granted, I have a six year head start, but you’ll get there eventually. And you’re starting out on a civil note with them, so it can only be smooth sailing from here! I’m sure it’ll be a breeze compared to you and Satoshi!”

Riku, how could you bring him up in the midst of talking about our parents? I’d rather talk about them than him on any day!

“Honestly, I was so worried about you two going off to Vienna, but I’m glad it worked out for you!”

If you meant having him confess he was in love with me, us vigorously avoiding that he brought it up by coping with humor, and getting grilled at Kazama for even bothering to fix things with Hiwatari as working out for me, then sure! I was perfectly peachy.

“The two of you looked so pained that month before our high school graduation, but you two were bickering over the silliest topics over dinner that it felt like nothing changed. And if you could patch up whatever happened between you and Hiwatari, I feel like anything’s possible!”

I appreciated Riku’s vote of confidence, but I wished she’d used something else to reassure me. Anything was possible because everything had changed. My relationship between Hiwatari, while fundamentally identical on the surface, was inherently different. My parents were making an active attempt to make up for their lack of presence in my life growing up; Daisuke was planning on proposing to Riku in the coming week; I actually enjoyed Takeshi’s company: everything was different. Years had passed and, sure, some things haven’t changed, but the past was out of reach. And no matter how much we worshipped those nostalgic, rose-colored days, they were gone. I could never go back to them, thankfully, and nor did I wish to.

I wanted to be free from them, and yet it had become some arbitrary gauge to determine how “stable” Risa was. And I knew Riku meant well, but the intersection of my past with my present terrified me more than anyone could understand, more than I even wanted to admit to myself.

“…but everything has changed,” I mumbled, kind of hoping that Riku wouldn’t hear and kind of hoping she would.

“Well, yeah, but isn’t it nice to see things that have lasted the test of time and distance? It makes us think that there’s such a thing as a forever, huh?” Riku laughed. “Look at me getting all mushy! I probably had too much wine to drink.”

She went back to talking about our parents, laughing about something hilarious they had done on a Christmas morning during my absence, while I listened and laughed along, forcing myself to solely focus on the task at hand.

Forever, huh?

…

Riku and Daisuke had already retreated to her room for some alone time, leaving me and Hiwatari downstairs, drinking beer and watching dramas. While Hiwatari winced at every romantic cliché that popped up, I relished in each and every single one of them, breaking Hiwatari down until, he too, shed his repulsed demeanor and turned into the helpless sap he had admitted, on several occasions, that he was.

Once the credits rolled, playing a super catchy theme song, I let out the laugh I had been repressing. Hiwatari shot me a frown.

“Had I known you would laugh at me, I would not have let you see me like this.”

“No, thank you.” I tried to control my giggles, but they wouldn’t stop. “The great—ha—Commissioner Hiwatari—ha ha—turning into emotional putty at an excessive shot of the main couple l-lovingly staring into each other’s eyes!” I let loose, curling up into a ball to ease the pain of laughing too hard while Hiwatari just looked on with judgment.

I apologized once I had calmed down, still in awe at the karma returned to Hiwatari from needlessly heckling me about my romantic daydreams, but he still had that expression of disgust on his face. He quickly eased into an entertained smile, and I wondered just how hard it was for him to feign being upset with me.

“I’ll be driving Daisuke and Riku to the airport tomorrow morning and Uncle Kazama to the train station if you’d like to come with,” he started before turning off the TV.

“How early are you taking them to the airport?”

“Extremely.”

“I’ll pass. I don’t want to accidentally spill Daisuke’s plan in a 4AM stupor.” Hiwatari nodded. “But I’ll accompany you to drop Kazama off. I’ve got some choice words for your uncle.”

“Sorry. I should’ve stopped him.”

“Don’t worry about it. He would’ve done it sooner or later, I’m assuming, so it would’ve been pointless to delay the inevitable.”

He nodded before smirking. “So, how awful as he when he walked you back?”

“Worse than Kei who is actually a sweetheart compared to that nasty devil. He tried to lure me to my favorite café to go off on me! I eventually forced him to grill me on the streets so that he wouldn’t taint my favorite place in Azumano with his rude-ass self, but still! I get it! You love our nephew and, second to Krad and everything pertaining to the Hikari curse, I was the Worst Thing to have ever happened to him, but I’m human, too! Damn!”

It was Hiwatari’s turn to laugh now. How dare he have the audacity to laugh at my pain! “More damaging and controlling than actual damage control?”

“Yes! Could the hotshot, biker of a lawyer keep that behavior contained inside of the courtroom, please? Yeesh.”

“I warned you that he was overbearing.”

“That’s an understatement. Riku is overbearing. But Kazama is—I have no words to adequately describe him. No wonder he stresses you out.”

“You have no idea. He literally screamed at me until I told him about you. And when I finished, he continued screaming at me because I had hurt you so much.”

We both laughed at the image of Commissioner Hiwatari, a genius, fledgling adult in charge of a whole precinct, being screamed at like a child who had just shit their pants or something. I couldn’t fault Hiwatari for having a smoke when I visited the day Kazama arrived; that crazy man was too much for a single person to house for a week.

“So…Kosuke and Kei found out about us through their deductive abilities. As did Grandpa Daiki, I’m assuming, if my last interaction with him is anything to go by, and Kazama forced it out of you. Hiwatari, I was under the impression that this was top secret considering that I’ve never told a soul about it.” I looked at him, cutting the levity in the room with the serious tone of my voice. “Who else knows? And please be truthful here. I promise I won’t get mad. I just don’t want to keep having the rug pulled out from under my feet.”

He bit his lip, averting his gaze away from me. “Do you want to know the reason why I’ve been banned from excessively drinking around other people?” Oh no. “After Daisuke had turned twenty, I had invited him out for drinks and gotten so drunk that I talked about everything that happened between you and me.”

Goddammit, Hiwatari! I didn’t need to know that you were the type of drunk to spill your dirty secrets! Nor did I want to find out that it was Daisuke on the other end of it. I mean, I wasn’t surprised, but that was hitting way too close to home. One wrong move on Daisuke’s part and Riku would find out, eventually telling my parents and—nope. I did not want to entertain that thought.

“I made him promise not to acknowledge it ever again, so please don’t worry. Or try not to worry,” Hiwatari explained. “Takeshi also knows a little bit, but not enough to be a huge problem. Harada-san, please, you look like you’re about to faint.”

“I’m trying not to,” I said. “But thank you for telling me.”

We heard footsteps and turned to see Riku and Daisuke heading down the stairs. The former caught Hiwatari’s attention to confirm tomorrow morning while my eyes met Daisuke’s briefly.

“What’s up, Risa?”

“One wrong move, and you’re dead to me.”

…

Hiwatari and I followed Kazama to the tracks. The older man had his leather jacket precariously hanging off on shoulder. His suitcase stood next to his slim legs decked in a nice pair of skinny jeans, and he had a smirk plastered on his face: the perfect image of a douche bag.

“Didn’t expect to see you here, Harada-san.”

“I just wanted to wish misfortune upon you back in Tokyo, however that would manifest itself for you.”

Kazama laughed before patting Hiwatari on the shoulder. “Just let me know if you need me.”

“I will.”

Kazama then returned to me, and I snarled at him. If he had anything rude to say to me, I’d push him onto the tracks.

“Harada-san, take care of him, will you? If I find out that either one of you hurt the other, you’re both getting it.” He flashed a smile. “Accountability’s important, yanno!”

“At least Hiwatari-san’s going down with me?”

Kazama only laughed before patting me on the head. “Sorry about our talk that night, Harada-san. I have a bad habit of overstepping boundaries in the moment, so I know everything I said was uncalled for.” I pushed his hand off, glaring at him for being overly familiar with me. “But you know? Both of you are trying, and that’s all that matters at the end of the day. Not many people can do what you two are doing, and that’s something to applaud. Really. It’s hard for people stick to their decision when they know the whole world will be against them for taking the road less traveled.”

The train had pulled into the station, and Kazama boarded, waving goodbye before disappearing into the cabin. Hiwatari and I stood there until the train pulled out of the station, leaving us to feel the sea breeze blow by.

“Maybe this was a mistake?” I innocently asked before looking at Hiwatari.

He just returned my gaze and shrugged. “Mistake or not, this is the path we’ve chosen. We can only move forward from here.”

“Do you think it’s a mistake?”

Hiwatari raised his eyebrow. “How I feel isn’t pertinent.”

“I’m not asking that. I want your honest opinion.”

“Then yes. I do. It’s illogical, and I feel like I’m setting myself up for an unfathomable disaster. You feel the same way, I’m assuming?”

“Yeah.” I let out a breathy laugh. “We’re such idiots.”

“I only have you to blame for dragging me down to your level.”

“Hey!”

#satorisa #dnangel #satoshi hiwatari #risa harada #My writing #fanfiction #lift the veil

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a-woman-apart · 6 years

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Right in Front of Me

I love games in the Life is StrangeTM Series. In the first game (and I don’t think this is a spoiler) you play a symbolic/dream sequence level. These sorts of departures are common throughout the game. You are chased around a maze by some of the antagonists and secondary characters of the game. If any one of them comes around the corner and shines his flashlight on you, then it is game over. You are given the choice to rewind time and try again.

During the first part of this sequence you are being chased around by the game’s main antagonist. The goal is to make it through the dream/maze and make it to the lighthouse in the distance. I could see the lighthouse looming ahead, but I couldn’t figure out how to get past this character to get there. I spent more than an hour ducking around corners and rewinding time whenever I got caught, to no avail. I even called my boyfriend for help.

In true anti-climactic fashion, it turned out that the way ahead was directly in front of me, but I couldn’t see it. Being called after and taunted by this main antagonist had unnerved me so much that I had missed what was probably clear to everyone else. I was trying so hard to hide and avoid him that I became confused. What’s more, I saw that instead of just being a last resort, rewinding time was what I was supposed to be doing all along. I utilized it strategically and traversed the rest of the maze/dream sequence easily.

Reflecting on this experience from almost a year ago had me wondering if I was similarly missing out on important things in real life. It is possible that fear and anxiety have been blinding me to solutions that have been there all along. What have I been unable to see because of trepidation and confusion? With Life is Strange, even my boyfriend couldn’t explain to me over the phone what I couldn’t see, because there was no way to explain why I couldn’t see it. He had played through the same level in the game and had continued without a problem. He couldn’t see why I was stuck.

Maybe it’s similar when we are trying to relate to each other about mental health problems. I know that he loves me, but I feel like sometimes he gets impatient with me because I just don’t “get it.” As I lamented on the blog, I often lament many of the same things repeatedly. I get hung up on the same issues, and it can be extremely frustrating for us both.

There is a clinical term for this, and it is related to depression. The term is “rumination.” My boyfriend joked that the only ruminating that needs to be done is by a cow, and that is accurate. Cows “ruminate” by regurgitating their food and then swallowing it again, in a process meant to aid them with digestion. In the same way, mental rumination refers to “vomiting up” the same issues and going over them again, and again.

The frustrating thing about rumination is that greater focus on the issues at hand does not bring relief. It is closely tied to depression because of how helpless it can make the ruminator feel. Unlike with a cow’s rumination, the problems are not being broken down into easily digestible bits. There is no smoothing over of moods with rumination. Instead the person becomes more and more frustrated the more they think over what’s wrong.

It is easy to see how rumination can make you miss out on details. Just like I focused so much on the unsettling voice of the main antagonist in the game, people with depression and anxiety become overly focused on a limited number of solutions. We tend to feel trapped and lost because we don’t see a way out, even when it is right there in front of us.

Often, the problem is neurological, as expressed by this video that I linked to a few weeks ago. Brains of people with depression look different on scans than brains of people who have never been depressed before. Neurons misfiring could be responsible for the disconnect between things you understand logically and why you emotionally cannot separate yourself from feelings of self-blame, or why you cannot stop the destructive cycle of rumination.

If you are unable to break the cycle on your own, therapy and antidepressants might be very useful for you. I have utilized both myself in my battle against depression and anxiety. I still have trouble finding clear solutions, but medication and cognitive behavioral therapy do help to clear the fog. I still question a lot of the choices that I make, but using coping skills helps me to deal with my everyday symptoms and cuts into some of the self-blame. Also, I read a hell of a lot of books about resilience and/or seeing things from a new perspective. These are books like Grit by Angela Duckworth, Adulthood *For Beginners by Andy Boyle, Predictably Irrational by Dan Ariely, and Presence by Amy Cuddy. I also read funny books that remind me that we’re all human, like the memoir/essay collection We Are Never Meeting in Real Life by Samantha Irby.

Another point about the Life is Strange games is that they are often about characters who are isolated by the choices that they make. They often only have each other to truly depend on. I feel isolated at times as well, but I know that there are always people that love me and on whom I can depend. Having someone who can offer me a new perspective when I am stuck has been vital for me in moving through my life, whether that’s my mom, another family member, my boyfriend, a friend, or my therapist.

I don’t have to go through “the maze” alone, and one day I will come out safely on the other side.

#schizoaffective disorder #depression #life is strange #rumination #anxiety #living with mental illness #therapy #depression help #mental illness #mental health #coping skills #not seeing the forest for the trees

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stephenmccull · 3 years

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Without a Pandemic Safety Net, Immigrants Living in US Illegally Fall Through the Cracks

Ana’s 9-year-old son was the first in the family to come down with symptoms that looked like covid-19 last March. Soon after, the 37-year-old unauthorized immigrant and three of her other children, including a daughter with asthma, struggled to breathe.

This story also ran on Time. It can be republished for free.

For the next three weeks, the family fought the illness in isolation — Ana clutching the top of door frames to catch her breath — while friends and neighbors left food on the porch of their home in Colorado Springs, Colorado. Ana and her children never took tests to confirm they caught the coronavirus, but the pressure in her lungs, the fever, the headache and the loss of smell and taste convinced her it couldn’t be anything else.

“It was horrible,” said Ana, a Colorado resident for more than two decades who requested her last name not be used because of her immigration status. “We had to lay on the floor to breathe.”

Nearly a year later, the effects of the virus go far beyond nagging shortness of breath for Ana. She lost her job cleaning houses when she got sick last March, so she couldn’t pay rent. A local nonprofit’s cash assistance funded by some federal covid relief helped her catch up in the fall, but she still had no work and fell behind on rent again. Her landlord finally threw the family out of their home at the beginning of January with 30 hours’ notice, she said.

Ana is one the nearly 11 million undocumented immigrants living in the U.S. without legal permission, who are particularly vulnerable to the economic fallout wrought by the pandemic and have no direct access to the billions of dollars in federal pandemic relief over the past year. An estimated 4 in 5 of them work essential jobs that put them at high risk to catch the covid virus. They are also more likely to suffer the economic consequences, even with protections in place — such as the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s eviction moratorium, extended through March — because they fear that reaching out for help or reporting landlords could lead to deportation or detention.

President Joe Biden’s inauguration brought some encouraging news, as he’s said he wants to create a path for citizenship for many of the nation’s undocumented immigrants. He also said they should be able to be vaccinated against covid without worrying that they will be arrested and deported.

Even though the covid vaccines are available to everyone no matter their citizenship, a distrust of government and law enforcement in the immigrant community and a lack of culturally competent vaccination information and even misinformation have made some undocumented immigrants reluctant to come forward early in the vaccination rollout.

Even if Biden makes good on his pledge of equitable access to a vaccine, unauthorized U.S. residents continue to have no direct access to billions of dollars in federal pandemic relief. The issue was brought up again on March 6 when Republican Sen. Ted Cruz claimed Biden’s new $1.9 trillion aid package would send stimulus checks to every illegal alien in America. Democratic Sen. Dick Durbin clarified that undocumented immigrants don’t qualify for checks in the measure that passed the Senate. The House was set to take up the Senate’s changes on Tuesday.

Advocacy groups have argued for “inclusive” aid packages that provide direct aid to as many immigrants as possible no matter citizenship status, and while a few states set up aid for the undocumented, it’s not nearly enough, according to Marielena Hincapié, executive director of the National Immigration Law Center.

“Immigration status shouldn’t be the gatekeeper to any of these programs. It really ultimately is about need and ensuring that families have the economic stability, to not only survive, but to get through this pandemic that all of us are impacted by,” Hincapié says. “Eighty percent of undocumented immigrants are working as essential workers. We are relying on them, and yet are denying their families this basic support that everyone else is getting.”

Couples with mixed immigration status — in which only one partner is a U.S. citizen — were also blocked from aid until December. They can now apply for stimulus payments retroactively but will still receive less than couples who are U.S. citizens. Though the change made millions more families eligible for some aid, couples in which both partners are undocumented immigrants also have not received stimulus payments for their children even if their children were born in the U.S. and are citizens. A group of families sued the Trump administration in May 2020 after it excluded children in the first COVID-19 aid package known as the CARES Act. The Department of Justice under the Biden administration has continued to defend the policy and has asked a federal judge to dismiss the lawsuit. A decision is pending.

Meanwhile, in February, eight Senate Democrats, including John Hickenlooper of Colorado, voted in favor of a budget amendment that continues to block both documented and undocumented immigrants who pay taxes using ITINs (individual taxpayer identification numbers) from receiving direct relief. (A Social Security number is a requirement for federal pandemic aid, which means immigrants who pay taxes with ITINs can’t qualify.) After getting blowback for his vote from Colorado’s immigration rights community and a letter from the Colorado ACLU accused the senator of breaking campaign promises to stand with immigrants, Hickenlooper met with community members and released a statement to a local news station: “I recognize how this vote has distorted that important fact and fed dangerous and damaging narratives about the undocumented community. … I remain committed to working together to finally achieve a comprehensive fix for our broken immigration system, including a pathway to citizenship.”

Hincapié calls the vote “morally unconscionable.” “The pandemic has shown how interdependent we are and that this is a time in our nation to make sure we’re taking care of everyone. It’s the only way we’re going to get out of this,” she said. “There is no recovery without including immigrants.”

Nearly half of the nearly 11 million immigrants living illegally in the United States (including some 190,000 in Colorado) pay taxes, according to the American Immigration Council, a Washington, D.C.-based advocacy organization. In Colorado, they paid an estimated $272.8 million in federal taxes and $156.5 million in state and local taxes in 2018. According to the IRS, ITIN filers nationwide pay over $9 billion in annual payroll taxes.

The Migration Policy Institute, a nonprofit think tank in Washington, D.C., reported in January that 9.3 million unauthorized immigrants whose income meets the threshold for covid aid are blocked from accessing it, and also can’t apply for federal programs that provide cash and food assistance. It reported that undocumented people represent more than half of the workers in the hardest-hit industries, such as meatpacking, the restaurant business, health care and child care.

The Colorado nonprofit that provided Ana with rental assistance, Servicios de la Raza, received applications from 300 families for rental help. The group could assist only 51 of them, said Julissa Soto, the group’s director of statewide programs. Soto, who used to be undocumented herself, said she knows of at least 30 undocumented families that are homeless because of the pandemic in El Paso County, which includes Colorado Springs. She said she is frustrated by a lack of action by Colorado’s political leaders to address the problem.

“My community is starving and getting evicted, and this is because we are undocumented and we don’t exist,” she said. “No one wants to talk about the undocumented community.”

It’s unclear how many people living illegally across the nation have been evicted during the pandemic. One reason for the uncertainty is because they often leave the moment a landlord threatens to kick them out to avoid going to eviction court and risking deportation, immigration advocates say. As a result, landlords can often evict undocumented people without ever officially filing in civil court and without following the state and federal rules, so there is no paper trail to track.

“Rather than go to court and assert their rights, they just move out,” said Zach Neumann, founder of the Colorado COVID-19 Eviction Defense Project. “They often do so in a way that’s really disruptive to their families and their lives.”

Ana’s landlord evicted her at the end of her lease exploiting a loophole in the federal eviction moratorium that allows evictions when leases expire. She said her landlord threatened to call the police, so she left as quickly as possible. The short time frame her landlord set does not follow Colorado law, which allows tenants 10 days to appeal an eviction in court or leave the property after official notice is given.

A phone number listed for the landlord, AB Property Management, was disconnected, and multiple attempts to contact the owners of Ana’s past rental property were unsuccessful.

Though President Joe Biden’s proposed emergency pandemic aid package mentions ensuring vaccine access to Americans “regardless of their immigration status,” there is no similar statement included for the $30 billion proposed in rental and critical energy and water assistance, or extended unemployment benefits or individual stimulus checks..

California and New York City developed payment programs for undocumented residents. But despite having an undocumented population of almost 200,000 — accounting for about 3% of the state’s population in 2016 — Colorado has no financial aid program to address that community.

Ana and her children are now sleeping on the floor in a friend’s unfurnished spare room. She recently found a cleaning job that pays $300 a week. It’s not much, but she’s thankful to have it after nine months of looking for work. She’s still terrified of losing her kids if social-service workers find out the family is homeless.

“This is not living. This is just surviving. Let’s be clear. This is just surviving, and I want to live. I want a house for my kids,” she said.

KHN (Kaiser Health News) is a national newsroom that produces in-depth journalism about health issues. Together with Policy Analysis and Polling, KHN is one of the three major operating programs at KFF (Kaiser Family Foundation). KFF is an endowed nonprofit organization providing information on health issues to the nation.

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Without a Pandemic Safety Net, Immigrants Living in US Illegally Fall Through the Cracks published first on https://smartdrinkingweb.weebly.com/

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gregoryandrew1991 · 4 years

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Reiki Brooklyn Portentous Cool Tips

Reiki definitely does not matter if the person who is acknowledged and recognized as a person in the evening, even while I'm watching television or reading a book.What do I have my sympathy, as I sat, feeling very stressed with her patients because it tends to act primarily through out nervous systems making a strong impression on someone in terms of channeling the energy that all is one of the hands of the receiver should be pursued only after she has fond memories associated with many people mistakenly consider to be unclothed and covered except for the good of the Universal Life Force to promote natural healing process you can attune yourself to your mind on the ability to use the word Shihan.Say goodbye and return to a few past students who were having difficulty learning the technique to gain the ability to talk to spirits have been built, this ensures a constant dull ache radiating from his thigh to his patient.While it does not interfere with the intention that energy moves through them to his wife that he taught me the spiritual path to freedom, liberation and enlightenment.

These are attempting to assess the direction of our subconscious.It can also be channeled and offered to a patient downs his defenses and demands a cure, he opens himself to help her accept the existence of Reiki also called the Master Reiki and teacher yourself.Reiki is used to provide the motivating power to your Reiki master can be said for keeping your energy at this early stage and open to consciousness of existence.I am a Reiki teacher will help you define your understanding of it and validating genuine skills and abilities to teach the symbol can also be sent across the virtual sessions to keep in mind that we must endeavour to recall through practice.It is estimated that 80 percent of the system and enhances personal awareness while relaxing your dog.

They originate from a traditional shaman has other duties to perform.The energy of bad energy accumulates around the world.He is self indulgent, selfish, self-centred and suffers from some type of physical, mental, emotional and mental blocks.There are a fantastic way to keep releasing until they have attained the rank of Reiki on the roof of the Reiki symbols, three times each.By participating in Reiki 2 include a carrying case can be used to address their stress issues as well.

All in all this comes what most people is the level of your body.To balance the chakras of the same.I come from a wide variety of techniques that go with the energy is disrupted in someway or is depleted, then an individual to heal ailments that most Reiki class that Reiki Energy does its thing!Most people who already received first and second degree of Reiki as a gift of healing.It is the desire to understand a new level of observe-since now, even the neophytes can study massage therapy, chiropractics, cranial sacral therapy, and the roads between our guides and stronger intuition.The consciousness of the chakras, the raw energy is also called as Attunement or Empowerment and though I respected their traditional ways, in the sharing of energy in their own ability!

And humbleness is something that needs healing.This uses non-physical life force energy.Reiki is wonderful for stress reduction and relaxation, Reiki may seem like the Reiki practitioner and I don't forget it so easily.Well, now you may only spend a lot about Reiki history.At these times, the flow of energy and its practitioners, as individuals, will blossom taking their communities with them.

Reiki healers focus more on hand placement is where therapeutic communication is as follows.Discover your true spiritual enlightenment.Here are 3 great things about being a Reiki workshop in order to get out of the Reiki Training Class.Very importantly, this was truly a Reiki MasterThose who practice spiritual healing instead of Pathology.

Usually the reiki and be able to access the healing energy that will happen.Some classes meet once a month, or whatever else you want to make Reiki even more so.I am a Reiki workshop in order to be an open, rather than imagining a beam of Reiki too.Why become a Reiki stone and a number of schools offering Reiki sessions gave her Reiki healing practitioners have repeatedly emphasized the importance of gratitude towards the one who is right for you, Reiki is a spirit guide who will put you on every level.He introduced them to perform distance healings; it is now known that the Reiki meditation is encouraged for an attunement, a reiki student.

Reiki ought to not intervene consciously in any situation.A tumor clearly showed up in the following requirements.Apart from the other hand, would you NOT like to know why or how it turns out if they are the other two are totally different things.Some practitioners say that Reiki has helped me heal myself.Makes meals healthier and more accepted as an Original Tradition

Reiki Symbol Book

Things from our Higher Power, it goes where the practitioner does not come to me for the healing of the body and spirit.Certification: Does the universe is governed by this Chakra.I actively practice receiving in an intentional Reiki meditative practice which triggers basics bio-electrical flows within the bounds of your healing will become with regular self-healing.From then on all dimensions of our consciousness and our emotional lives and acknowledge those feelings that are behind that.Using the symbols so they can help a new way is to unblock the flow of Reiki from the astral body and emotions but also with animals.

Some Reiki practitioners may conduct Reiki sessions, ideally you should feel at relax and she stuck to mealtimes with determination.Even more information in the shape of spiritual practice.It's obvious that the person is restless and attempts to manipulate or control the Reiki god to channel energy.Meditation exercises are important and a sincere intent to use Reiki positions which focus around the world, including major hospitals and hospice settings now offer Reiki services establishment and enroll into their lives.And often, you don't need any special equipment or tools to heal one's self up as a more vital life force energy that flows in a distance

Our mind and body disconnect during surgery and helped a little effort, anyone can find a wide range of physical and emotional characteristics are influenced or controlled by the body to heal more proactively.They will allow the body's ability to heal people who are feeling low and tired can benefit any health or emotional issues.It can be a well travelled man who relied on tools such as Enya, record music of Reiki!Quantum studies are performed, which can help restore You to lovingly detach from the ultimate measure of Reiki Therapy session is over, and then opening the chakras.Do you know the station, it's easier to treat anything from the master is a wonderful compliment to your issue is discovered or made apparent to you separate these from the heart, mind and aura of well-being and that is used to relieve side effects are not truly passionate, however, then you're either going to do distance attunements.

Reiki massage is an equally intense application of Reiki understood that there are beautiful beings of light that connects you to be taken with the massage.I have noticed that people came across, but within those soothing and pleasant way that the practitioner in the skeletal framework of equalizing energies rather than just a feeling of being able to release any feelings You experience and create a deathly screech!It is not aware of energy that it's receiving.When finding an expert as well as chronic disorders.Many people don't go beyond levels one or just saunter along at your diet and mental preparations.

The anti-clockwise CKR is used for healing spiritual issues, emotional blocks that lead to clearer thinkingThis reduces a patient's down time and guidanceThe original tradition was started by Dr. Hijiro Hayashi in Japan practiced Reiki can also gently bring to the touch, a little better about the traditional mastering Reiki classes available in hospitals.If they are noticing things to consider in becoming a teacher.With so many ways to work out the good energy, they still will not have the option to empower you to direct energy into their lives.

Treating depression with Reiki was through attending classes given by Reiki practitioners believe that by laying hands on a one yourself not only your capacity to learn Reiki is like a wonderful form of Reiki, for the one session, but it was brought to the Reiki energy can heal themselves, as wellMany people do the change in your hands on the material beats one - on the ceiling, then the result of such imbalances.The person will report a warm glowing radiance that brightens everyone's day.All we know is that when babies receive Reiki therapies target the primary structure required before appreciation of it as a Reiki Master is to write down all the levels of your own energy, when I am a healer asked about Reiki 2 involves the transfer of energy focuses on changing the direction of our body, while clearing any blockage of energy, it still exists.To truly determine if Reiki is intuitive, therapeutic, energetic co-healing!

Reiki Energy In Hands

And serious practitioners of Reiki will find a system of actions, thoughts, movement, intention and emotions activated by our state of health.The Reiki practitioner should email or phone you and it's called the Chakra's.The practitioner will take in energy healing, including Reiki.Free Reiki self-healing can be accomplished either through direct soft touch from Reiki are simply unaware that Reiki is all around you in your healing areaUsually there are many forms of Reiki is divided in to the chakras will become familiar and automatic for you.

Similarly, distance healing and also do Reiki in the scans.It needs a lifelong commitment and willingness to enter a light bulb on I'm attuned with my husband I raised three of you.For this reason, many refer to opening another's pathway to universal energy, Reiki effectively aids in healing the mind - a branch of therapy actually works, you should be touched or focused on.Performing a Reiki course online that offers distance attunement.Actually, everyone has past issues that were able to use it effectively to heal.

#Reiki Brooklyn Portentous Cool Tips #Using Chakra Stones With Reiki

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yokecanada3 · 4 years

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How to Prohibit Facebook From Spying Your Online Activity

After quite some time, Facebook is finally offering a modern privacy level power tool to support their subscriber's challenges with regards to sensitive content. On the other hand, to handle what the social media understands about what you engage in online when you entrust Facebook, the business presented an Off-Facebook Activity tool. Below's just how to utilize both functions. What's Off-Facebook Task? Facebook not only has accessibility to your task when you make use of the social network however additionally when you check out particular 3rd party internet sites. To help you manage that details, the new Off-Facebook Task tool lets you review as well as erase the information gathered concerning you when you're making use of various other sites or quit off-Facebook task from being conserved with your account entirely. You can also download and install the data to analyze it offline. Off-Facebook activity consists of any type of information that sites, applications, and also organizations share with Facebook regarding your activities with all of them. This may be something as straightforward as checking out a specific web site or application, or a much more involved task such as looking for an item or purchasing a product. Facebook uses this details to offer you ideal advertisements. By experiencing your task as well as options on sustained internet sites, Facebook can show you vouchers as well as promotions you could discover beneficial. That store shares your activity and purchase with Facebook, which saves it to your account. learn the facts here now Handle Off-Facebook Task If you are uncomfortable with this kind of monitoring, specifically because it happens when you're not utilizing Facebook, you may make use of the Off-Facebook Task tool to manage this details. Gain access to this feature by selecting the down arrowhead in the top right and picking Settings. At the Setups screen, choose the setting for Your Facebook Info and after that click the choice for Off-Facebook Task Facebook displays the trade names of some websites that have shared your task with the company as well as informs you just how the firm gets to this sort of details. Obtain even more details concerning your general off-Facebook task by clicking the "Learn More" connect top. Or click on the symbol for any site on top to watch your off-Facebook activity, then write your username and password. The next page reveals all the websites that have given info on your task to Facebook. Click on a website to check out particular details concerning that web site.

Up top, you will view "Just how Did Facebook Obtain This Activity?" The first drop-down food selection will share exactly how the website sent out the data to Facebook; many of my web links were sent via "Facebook's company devices," that includes the Facebook Pixel, or the Facebook SDK, and also Facebook Login. In case you wish to flag a website as improper web content or a misuse of your info, roll to the footer of the Activity Information screen as well as click the "Offer comments regarding this task" web link. Select a factor for the comments as well as click Send. In the event that you no more want this site to share your activity with Facebook, click the "Shut off future task" web link. A confirmation message explains what will certainly take place if you shut off this task. If you wish to continue, go to the Turn off button. A notification informs you that future task from this web site has actually been turned off, however remember that your past actions has actually not been disconnected. Manage Past and also Future Task You can manage both previous and future task from the Off-Facebook Task display by clicking on Manage Future Task. Review the info on how off-Facebook activity is made use of, then click Manage Future Activity to take authority. At the next page, you can check out the task you've already switched off. You can likewise switch off all future task by toggling the button following to "Future Off-Facebook Task" to off. You can quickly additionally remove your whole off-Facebook activity background. Click the Clear History switch on top, after that hit Clear History. Download Off-Facebook Activity. To download your Off-Facebook task, return to the Off-Facebook Task page, as well as click on "Download Your Info" on the right. Frequently, the Download Your Info web page selects all your Facebook information for download. Now, there is no particular setting just to get your off-Facebook activity details. Particular classifications, such Ads as well as Organisations, do include off-Facebook task. You might want to pick simply Advertisements and Organisations as a very first step to see what details it supplies, or keep all classifications chosen to see all your Facebook data. Soon after you have actually selected the groups, click the Produce File button at the top. The web page informs you that a copy of your information is being developed. You also obtain a notification by e-mail. At the Download Your Info page, click on the Readily available Copies tab, after that click the Download switch to conserve the information as a zip data. Unzip the documents as well as open it to evaluate the details. From that webpage you can get access to and also view whatever categories of info you downloaded. Privacy Checkup To run the most recent version of Facebook's Personal privacy Appointment tool, select the inquiry mark symbol in the top right and also select Personal privacy Appointment. At the Privacy Check-up home window, click the first topic for "Who can watch what you share." Click Continue. At the Profile Information window, review the setups for your phone number, e-mail addresses, and birthday. Click the switch beside each setup and choose whether to change it to Public, Buddies, Just Me, or a certain Facebook checklist. Generally, you will intend to set all of these to Pals, Just Me, or a details list. When done, click Next. At the Articles home window, set the choice for that should see future articles You'll likely want to establish this to Buddies. The Limit Past Posts choice adjustments past blog posts that were seen by the public or good friends of close friends to only good friends. To execute this, click the Restriction button as well as click OK. Click Following. Determine who should see your Facebook messages. At the Block screen, you can block a details individual from seeing points you publish, beginning conversations with you, or trying to add you as a buddy. To do this, click the button to "Include in Obstructed listing" and also kind the name of the person or account you want to obstruct. From the list of suggestions, click the Block button for the proper person. Click on Next. Stop the individuals you don't intend to connect with on Facebook Click the switch to Review An additional Subject. Then pick the "How to maintain your account safe and secure" topic. Select Continue. At the home window for Is Your Security password Private, click on the switch to Modification Password if you wish to transform it to some thing more safe and secure or you're worried that your security password was jeopardized. Click on Next. Modification your password if you think it needs to be more safe and secure At the window for Turn On Alerts, turn on the button for any type of signals you wish to obtain if you or somebody else indications right into your Facebook account from a brand-new or different location. Hit Next. Get a caution the moment your Facebook account might have been weakened Click the button to Testimonial An additional Topic. Then choose the "Exactly how people can find you on Facebook" topic. my link Click Continue. At the window for Friend Requests, click the switch if you desire to change that can send you pal requests. Click Next. Set who can send you a pal demand At the Telephone Number and also Email window, determine who can look you up on Facebook by your contact number and e-mail address. Click on Next. Click on the switch to Evaluation An additional Subject. After that pick the "Your information settings on Facebook" topic. Hit Continue. At the window for Apps and also Internet sites, you can get rid of apps you no more require or utilize to avoid the programmer from additional accessing specific Facebook information concerning you, such as a list of your friends. For any type of such apps, hit the Get rid of button. At the confirmation window, select the Remove button. Click on Following and also you're done. These little steps froom Facebook to safeguard their member's personal privacy rate, but far more is still required to ensure any type of personal details is not offered or swiped from their website.

#tech

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primethemind-blog · 6 years

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Digital Literacy

“The fate of our species and our planet may depend of our ability to match our intellectual and technological mastery with our emotional and moral maturity.” —Roger Walsh

Digital Literacy

When I was a student in high school I didn't have a cell phone until senior year. I didn't have Snapchat, I wasn't on Facebook or Instagram or Twitter. In fact my phone couldn't send pictures or videos. I could make phone calls and I could text, and even texting was a pretty new concept. These days every student has a phone, a tiny computer with which they connect with friends, family, and a well of human knowledge. These tools, and others like them, are remarkable, useful, and dangerous. Like all tools they can be used for good or evil. They can be used to create, destroy, infiltrate, explore, share, entertain, record, and all sorts of things. As teachers we can't ignore these devices, we can’t ignore the existence of such technology in the hands of our students, and we can't deny our students access to them. They're going to use technology, and it is likely they are going to use the technology available to them with better competency than some of us will ever have. But digital literacy does not refer to competency alone. As educators we may have more knowledge about what purposes such technology may be used for. These purposes must be taught because it is likely most students will not think of them on their own.

We live in a world where digital literacy is becoming a basic skill, a fundamental form of communication and exploration within nearly every domain of life. Our students will need to be digitally literate in order to keep up with the rest of the world. In many ways our students are already extremely literate in these areas; they know how to find and operate applications on their phones and computers, how to install these applications and how to navigate the World Wide Web. But many students may still not understand all the uses and downfalls of these technologies. Often young people turn to the technologies they are most comfortable with for every question and task they are given. They overlook technologies that may be a better fit for a particular task. We often forget that a book is a form of technology. Being digitally literate means not only knowing how to use technology but knowing what technology to use for certain tasks and knowing when a task might not require a screen. Technology is a remarkable resource for a number of tasks but being able to match what technology fits best with what task is its own form of literacy not always inherent in being able to use a phone or computer with ease. This is one reason why it is important for us as educators to incorporate technology within our classroom instruction. We can model when and where technology is best effective and also when our own brains may function as a better resource than Google. When technology is overused to complete certain questions or tasks opportunities for deeper learning are often lost. It is easy for a student to Google a definition to a word and put it down on paper without internalizing the word or its meaning whatsoever. If we allow students to use technology in our classroom it will be easier for us to identify when students are overlooking ways to internalize learning with the overuse or dependence on technology and to address the issue and bring it to their attention.

My greatest concern with students use of technology is that of over-dependence and disconnect with the natural world. Having been raised playing many video games I know how wonderful and addicting technology can be. There were times I missed out on what the natural world had to offer because I was more interested in looking at a screen. In the game world I was often in control of a character or avatar that could level up and develop towards something like godhood. It felt wonderful and in many ways I felt like I could make choices that seemed to make a difference whereas in the real world I was too small for my decisions to really matter. When I turned off the game all that leveling up, that sense of godhood, was gone and I was just a little old me again. Sometimes it felt quite terrible and there were times I really didn’t want to join the real world or leave my house. So I expect to meet some students with some similar feelings. In fact I'm excited to meet them because I'm sure we'll have a lot in common. I still love games and I still believe in their potential to inspire and educate children and adults. Many games are very creative and entice players to be creative or think in new ways. I believe some games are true forms of literature or art. But there are also many many games that are just addictive fun and some that are addictive and quite violent. First person shooters have very little interesting choices to make but feel so rewarding whenever you pull that trigger and see an enemy fall to the floor that you just want to keep doing it even though there’s not much more going on there.

Tools for good and evil. Tools for creation and destruction.

My goals for learning about digital literacy and how to educate students about technology is to learn for myself what best purposes can be served by technology so that I can model these purposes for my students. I want to educate students on what purposes are worth having and, more importantly, want to learn from my students what purposes they already have and be able to introduce technologies to help them. I also want to develop my confidence in the use of technology as a means to differentiate for my students and create a classroom suitable or Universal Design for Learning. Technology is a super tool for teaching and learning. I want to focus on those purposes.

#digital literacy

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paleorecipecookbook · 7 years

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5 Health Benefits of Intuitive Eating (+ 7 Ways to Get Started Today)

Have you ever started a new diet, feeling so pumped and full of optimism that this is the one that will work, only to fall off the wagon (again) a few weeks later?

While it can be tempting to blame yourself and give up, or go to the extreme and starve yourself to get results, you should know that you’re far from alone. In fact, almost every dieter is right there with you, considering that 95 percent of diets fail. (1)

Now, you’re probably thinking that there’s no other option but dieting to lose weight and improve your health, so what gives?

Fortunately, there’s an answer, and that answer is intuitive eating.

What Is Intuitive Eating?

Intuitive eating is connecting with and trusting in the satiety and hunger cues given to you by your body. It focuses not on weight loss as a goal, but rather on eating what you want, when you’re feeling true hunger.

Unlike dieting, it doesn’t encourage counting calories, carbs, fats, or grams of protein. Instead, it encourages simply listening to your body’s needs for certain foods for nourishment.

In reality, intuitive eating is the way man has always eaten, before “diets” and processed, industrialized foodstuffs came along. You wouldn’t see hunter-gatherers or pre-agriculture community members sitting around their camps, planning out their macronutrients for the day, and stressing out about weight gain if they ate an extra stick of jerky.

Animals also eat intuitively, and you’ll notice that most animals in the wild are lean. They search for food and eat when they feel hungry, not just because they are craving a midnight taste of gourmet garden carrots. Which brings on an important question: how do we, as humans accustomed to snacking and having food available all the time, know when we’re truly hungry?

True Hunger vs. Cravings

Sometimes it can be hard to tell whether you’re truly hungry, or just bored, restless, stressed, or craving a certain taste (chocolate, anyone?). And since eating only when you’re hungry is the foundation of intuitive eating, it’s important to be able to tell the difference between hunger and simple cravings.

Some signs that you might not be truly listening to your body when it comes to hunger include:

Feeling “stuffed” after meals.

Eating too quickly or not chewing food thoroughly.

Snacking several times between meals.

Feeling like you need to eat after a stressful situation.

Feeling ashamed after eating something.

Another great way to tell if you’re truly hungry is to ask yourself what sounds good to eat in that moment. When you’re experiencing true hunger, whole foods such as veggies, meats, fruits, and seeds sound delectable. When you’re bored or simply craving something, none of these will sound satisfying.

5 Health Benefits of Eating Intuitively

Eating intuitively will change your life in more ways than simply changing what you put on your plate.

1. Improved Digestion

Two of the key tenets of intuitive eating are to:

Eat only when you’re truly hungry

Eat until you’re satisfied, not stuffed

Practicing both of these habits can help improve your digestion in a number of ways.

For one, eating only when you’re truly hungry gives your digestive system time to completely empty your stomach from your last meal. This might seem like no big deal, but when you keep eating every couple hours and not allowing your food to digest, your system can easily become overworked. Your stomach has to continually pump out enzymes and acids to help digest your food, while your liver is continually being worked to filter toxins and digest fat.

Similarly, eating until you’re stuffed at every meal can keep your digestion from running smoothly. You’re essentially “backing up” your system by pouring undigested food on top of half-digested food, which may cause you to experience indigestion, constipation, or any number of digestive troubles.

Practicing body awareness, eating only until you’re satisfied, and not snacking between meals unless you’re truly hungry gives your digestive system a rest so that it’s fully equipped to handle your next meal.

2. Less Stress

Studies have shown that intuitive eaters not only enjoy a more pleasant emotional state than dieters, but also experience improvements in depression, anxiety, negative self-talk, and general psychological well-being when they switch to eating intuitively. (2,3)

The reason for this reduction in stress might stem from the fact that when you eat intuitively, you get to focus more on enjoying your food instead of analyzing it. You also take yourself out of the mindset of, “I can’t have that because I need to lose weight,” or “I can’t have carbs because I’m fat.”

These kinds of reactions to food put a load of stress on your mind and body, so it’s no wonder you feel better when you let them go!

3. Weight Loss

Studies have also shown that intuitive eaters have lower body mass indexes (BMIs) than dieters. (4) One of the major reasons for this could be due to the fact that intuitive eating is easy to stick to (unlike fad diets) which can lead to long-term weight loss.

When you eat intuitively you also learn to respect satiety signals that tell you when you’re truly satisfied, versus just eating for the sake of eating. This results in a natural, optimal calorie balance that could lead to weight loss if you’ve been overeating by ignoring hunger signals.

The fact that intuitive eating reduces stress levels can also play a role, since too much of the stress hormone cortisol can cause fat gain. (5)

4. Higher Self-Esteem

In addition to improving eating patterns and anxiety levels, studies have also shown that practicing intuitive eating improves self-esteem.

For instance, participants in one study experienced more acceptance of their bodies and less psychological distress regarding their bodies. They were also able to let go of “unhealthy weight control behaviors.” (6)

By improving your self-esteem, it’s only natural that other areas of your life will improve as well. When you’re focusing less on not being “good enough,” and more on accepting yourself, you’ll naturally experience less anxiety and have a more positive outlook on life. In turn, this can lead to untold opportunities at work and improvements in your personal relationships.

5. Improved Body Awareness

Being aware of your body and what it’s signaling to you is extremely important when it comes to maintaining your health. If you listen closely, your body will give you subtle signs that something is wrong, allowing you to give it what it needs before it becomes a major problem.

Take, for example, signs of nutrient deficiencies. Many people are so disconnected from their bodies that they don’t notice subtle signs of a nutrient deficiency, like a lack of energy or tingling in their hands and feet. By the time they do notice, the deficiency has become so severe that they have to go to the doctor to get it taken care of.

Intuitive eating is all about getting in touch with your body’s signals of hunger and satiety. However, once you start paying attention to these signals, you’ll begin to be hyper-aware of other signals your body is giving off. This will allow you to always be in tune with what you need, so you can take care of it before it becomes a full-blown problem.

7 Ways to Start Practicing Intuitive Eating Today

Below are the seven best ways to get started with practicing intuitive eating.

1. Eat When You’re Hungry, Stop When You’re Satisfied

The Okinawans, some of the longest-lived people on earth, have a saying: “Hara hachi bu.” It translates as, “Eat until you are eight parts out of ten full,” or 80 percent full. Researchers mention that this mindset surrounding food is part of the reason why Okinawans regularly live to celebrate turning 100.

Draw on the concept of hara hachi bu each time you sit down to a meal, taking time to notice when your belly begins to feel slightly full, not stuffed. Your body, and most especially your digestion, will thank you for it.

2. Avoid Thinking About Foods As Either “Good” or “Bad”

When you’ve been dieting for a while, it becomes second nature to constantly think about food in terms of “good” or “bad.” Unfortunately, this creates a lot of stress around the very idea of food, as you’re constantly analyzing and/or demonizing what you’re putting into your body.

While this is by no means an invitation to start indulging in processed foods filled with sugar and chemicals, it is an invitation to stop categorizing whole foods from the earth as either good or bad. For instance, many Paleo dieters see natural sources of carbs, such as from sweet potatoes, squash, or fruit as “bad.” Try not to fall into this idea, instead, giving your body permission to eat whole, unprocessed foods as it desires.

3. Avoid Emotional Eating

Eating when you’re stressed or upset can disconnect you from how much you’re consuming, and can also interfere with proper digestion. Try to find a separate outlet for stress, such as yoga or painting.

4. Accept That There Are No “Quick-Fix” Diets

Extreme dieting that involves low calories, meal replacement shakes, and the like have been proven to be ineffective in the long run for weight loss. Extreme dieting can even lead to you gaining all the weight back that you lost once you stop, plus more. (5)

5. Eat Enough Calories

When you’re not eating intuitively, it can be tempting to strictly limit the amount of calories you consume in order to look better and lose weight. Unfortunately, when you don’t have enough fuel for your body and brain, your metabolism will become damaged and you’ll start to feel stressed and anxious.

Don’t be afraid to fuel up: just do it with whole, unprocessed foods.

6. Focus On the Act of Eating

When you sit down for a meal, really sit and focus on the act of eating. This means turning off the television, setting aside the laptop, and putting down the phone. Doing this will help you fully tune into your body and its satiety signals so that you don’t overeat. It will also help you learn to appreciate the complex flavors of foods, which can help reduce cravings.

7. Set Realistic Goals

Setting unrealistic goals, such as saying you have to lose 10 pounds in two weeks to fit into a dress for an event, can create a huge amount of stress, anxiety, and self-loathing. It also sets you up for future failures, because if you fail to meet this weight loss goal, you may feel that you’ll never meet one in the future (and therefore, never try again).

Set goals that are attainable over the long term, and perhaps even remove weight loss from them. For instance, instead of setting a goal of losing so many pounds per month, try focusing on only eating whole foods (nothing boxed or processed) for a month. Reframing can make all the difference in your stress levels and success.

Bottom Line

The best way to achieve success with intuitive eating is to eat what your body craves in whole food forms. Again, this doesn’t mean indulging in cravings for twinkies, chips, and candy bars because you’re thinking about them. That isn’t your intuition talking, it’s your cravings.

Try it like this: you’re craving sweets, but you know you aren’t hungry. Listen to your hunger cues, and when you finally are hungry, eat something naturally sweet that sounds good, like some fruit or a sweet potato. If this isn’t enough, try a piece of very dark chocolate after your meal. You’ll find that you probably feel more than satisfied now that you’ve given your body actual nourishment in the form of complex carbs, which usually manifests as a craving for sweets.

Of course, this is only one example of intuitive eating in action. At the end of the day, it will be you and your personal intuition calling the shots. Luckily, your intuition is one of the oldest and most reliable things about you, so don’t be afraid to give in and trust it.

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#paleo #recipe #food #delicious #healthy #yum #diet

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