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mari-beau · 3 years

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GIVE ME A REASON: PART THREE - A Rogue One Fanfic

This part/scene went in a little bit different direction than I had thought it was going to go, but I regret nothing!

Read Part One

Read Part Two

Title: Give Me A Reason: Part Three

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Characters: Jyn Erso POV, Cassian Andor

Pairing: Cassian/Jyn (mostly pre-ship?)

Spoilers: Rogue One; Episode IV A New Hope

Setting: Post-Rogue One AU (Cassian & Jyn live); Also during/post A New Hope

Warnings: Looking, Ogling, Leering, Letching, Yearning… Okay, Lusting. (Only Jyn doesn’t realize she's there yet...) Let me know if this needs a 'nsfw' tag... I'm not sure. There's nothing explicit.

Words: 1217

Story Summary: Jyn’s entire universe has been turned on its head, so maybe she’s clinging a little too hard to the one thing she feels certain of (strangely enough) as she tries to figure out her place in the galaxy. And maybe she’s being a little overprotective of a wounded captain.

3 hours until the ceremony…

Jyn was loathe to do it, but there really was no other alternative. She could at least try to be gentle, even though being gentle honestly never had been in her nature. Before.

She’d also been fiercely independent. Before.

With a sigh, she sat down on the edge of the bed, indulged in a moment to study the unconscious man, who deserved the few hours of peace he’d had over the past week, after the decades of suffering she often found reflected in his eyes, in his voice, the tense way he held his body.

His body…

She’d be a liar if she tried to claim that she didn’t find his body appealing, and not just because it felt so good when she pressed her own against the warm, sinewy flesh of his, feeling his heart beating in his chest and the rhythm of his breathing. With Cassian, she felt safe and content in a way she hadn’t since childhood, which was ridiculous with the state he was in. If anyone would be protecting anyone, it would be her protecting him.

And gladly.

It was a possessiveness she had never experienced before, having precisely one item she valued, her mother’s kyber crystal necklace, and no one significant to her.

And maybe it was that unbidden possessive feeling twisting her up inside which rendered Cassian Andor the most beautiful being Jyn had ever encountered. She could just look at him for hours, study the contours of lean, wiry muscle on his slender frame, his tan skin with its abundance of scars that rivaled her own collection, the smattering of dark downy hair across his chest and trailing down from his navel to beneath the waistband of his shorts.

The angles of his face intrigued her to no end. And the broody downturned curve of his mouth, which if she just brushed her fingers across the sharp plane of his cheek…

Cassian’s mouth softened and his cheek rounded as his lips curved into a contented smile, which pulled a smile from Jyn’s lips as well.

He. Was. Pretty.

And part of her ferociously insisted that he was hers.

Whether she could keep him beyond this moment, these past few days of easy, quiet intimacy more or less apart from the rest of the universe, remained to be seen.

But reality could not be avoided any longer. She brushed the unruly hair that had fallen across his forehead out of his eyes.

He murmured her name in his sleep and heat blossomed in her chest. Jyn tamped it down the best she could. She was letting herself get carried away by this… whatever it was… Infatuation?

She’d never been infatuated with anyone or anything in her life. She was not a romantic person, but was she romanticising the rebel captain?

He was stubborn and single-minded with his goals. At first, she thought he could only follow orders, thought him cold and hard. But she’d learned he was soft and warm and wounded inside. And wounded outside now. And that damned blind loyalty she’d hated when they’d first met -what, 9 or 10 days ago- it was what made him hers. Well, maybe it made him hers. She’d never had anyone’s loyalty before. No one had ever come back for her until him. No one had ever stuck by her. To the end. He'd been with her through what should've been the end. But somehow hadn't been. And now… She would stick around for him.

Jyn took a deep breath and placed her hand on his shoulder. His skin was warm and inviting but she resisted skimming her palm down his arm, resisted exploring the shape of triceps and biceps with her fingers. Instead, she gave him a shake.

“Cassian. It’s time to wake up.”

He whimpered, a low throaty sound that was so filled with gravel, it was practically a growl. It did things to her she didn’t have the capacity to consider. And when he said her name, all sleepy, thickly accented and heavy on his tongue, she had to dig her fingers into her palm to prevent herself from grabbing him and doing things to him.

He pushed himself into a sitting position, the effort making his muscles twitch shift beneath his skin, making him wince, but then he was running a hand over his face and the back of his head, ruffling the messy overgrown hair. His dark eyes settled on her face, as clear and alert as ever. He was no longer on meds for pain and Jyn was happy to find all the clever sharpness had returned to those deep brown eyes of his.

“How long?” He asked the same question every time he woke, something a soldier, a survivor asked, always wary about what might have happened when they were asleep, as if they had no right to a moment’s peace.

“Thirteen hours.”

Cassian swore softly in his native language before addressing her in Basic.

“You promised me you wouldn’t let me sleep more than ten hours.”

She shrugged, but wouldn’t meet his eyes, not worried he was upset with her, but afraid that he could see straight through to her possessive thoughts about him.

“You need it.”

“I need to move around or I’ll get all stiff.”

Jyn bit her lip. No. She wasn’t going to-

Her eyes convulsively dropped to his lap and thenshot back up to his face, and just as quickly darted away.

He was stiff.

And not just his back and leg as he'd actually meant. But his partially aroused maleness wasn't intentional, she knew. And the times when she'd woken up tangled in him with the feeling of him half hard pressing against some part of her, despite the interest her own body returned, she knew it wasn't a conscious choice of his. He was asleep and his body was just doing its natural thing. It wasn't as if he actually wanted…

Cassian swung his legs over the edge of the bed, sitting so close, her body practically hummed in response, began gravitating toward him. Why? Why did she need him, so deeply she could feel it in the marrow of her bones? Sometimes she felt as if they had actually been hit by that energy weapon, while they were embracing on the beach waiting for death, and were fused together on the subatomic level.

And then felt like maybe she’d suffered a brain injury they hadn’t detected, which scrambled her survivor’s practicality into delusions of romantic grandeur.

Get your head on straight, Jyn Erso.

Cassian got to his feet. It was a bit of a production, difficult to watch and also heartening, but Jyn made no move to help him. Oh, she would assist him. And she had done so. But not when he could manage on his own, not when he needed to know he could.

“I’m going to wash up,” he said. “Then maybe we can go to the mess.”

Jyn raised an eyebrow. Did he really feel like he could walk that far? She hoped he was feeling that strong, because,

“You’re going to need to shower. Command wants us to go to this Award Ceremony thing.”

“What?!” Cassian’s look was pure confusion, as if she’d let him sleep for thirteen years and he’d woken up to a completely unfamiliar galaxy.

She sympathized. It made no sense to her either. And she’d much rather just curl back up in bed with him. Just Cassian and her, together.

Nothing had ever felt more right. But since when had the galaxy ever given Jyn what she wanted?

#fic: give me a reason #Rogue One #fanfiction #rebelcaptain #Jyn Erso #Cassian Andor #ust

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captain-hen · 3 years

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Yeah, idk, the people in this fandom seem to be very reluctant to just let facts be facts when it comes to Eddie’s relationship with Ana. I know it can be frustrating when you see post after post claiming that he somehow didn’t like at all or whatever, but we don’t have act like he had any real feelings for her, either.

And i know people do this partially because they feel like Eddie „stringing“ Ana along without her meaning anything to him would be out of character for him , but i need them to know that relationships like this do not only exist, they are also pretty common. And they are also not exclusive to people with bad intentions, quite the contrary. Feelings are complicated, but so is a lack of it when they are supposed to be there. It takes time to properly figure that stuff out, and i would argue that that makes this very in character for someone as non-impulsive as Eddie 🤷🏼‍♀️ 1/2

2/2 And let’s be real, if Ana showed any signs of unhappiness, he would have ended it right there and then. But she didn’t. So i doubt he even suspected that he could hurt her like that🤷🏼‍♀️

Also, if she was really important to him in any way, if he had any kind of love for her (Because yes, some people claim he just didn’t love her in that way) i guarantee he would have said so in that breakup scene. He made sure to soften the blow, why not mention how important she is to him if that was the case? (Why not ask her to stay friends?)

'eddie cared about ana well enough and didn't want to hurt her' and 'eddie didn't have romantic feelings for ana and stayed with her out of obligation, not realizing what he was doing to begin with' are two statements that can coexist. but since when does this fandom know what nuance is?

the thing is, ana and eddie never connected on any real, solid basis for them to have any sort of relationship after the breakup. and the breakup wasn't exactly amicable - there were definitely some bitter feelings on ana's side at least.

i feel like ppl blaming eddie for the break up just. don't understand how real life works. sometimes people stay in a relationship and realize too late that it's not right for them. and it takes two to make the mistake here; ana stayed with him as well knowing what was wrong.

how much do you wanna bet that buck isn't gonna get nearly as much flack when he breaks up with taylor

#neethu answers

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queerchoicesblog · 3 years

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Lawrence was a pleasure to see again, and thanks God he was there to talk some sense into Zetta ! "Sometimes our secrets are what makes our lives worth living. No matter with what high cost they come attached” What power in that sentence. What I also loved was that Zetta was honest with Richard. She has always been a straight shooter and it's interesting to see a dynamic where she would have much to lose from it but chooses to be (somewhat) honest anyway. With him. With herself. /6 (I think ?)

Part 2 of my response, sweet Nonny!

Let me start saying that:

1. You do not have to apologise for your English because it's brilliant and I'm Italian so no pressure!

2. I absolutely love your talkative mood and because of the kind words you reserved to my writing, I swear! I almost wish we would be sharing a table at a cafe (let's make it a patisserie: I'm a sweet tooth and you have decadent desserts up there!) and chatting about Zetta, Adele and a bit of everything 😊

Giving a voice to wlw characters is my main mission so thank YOU! I'm glad I could make fellow members of our community happy with my stories. I write them for free because it sounds like the right thing in these dark times when many face new personal budget struggles. Maybe one day, if I build enough confidence, I will try to get some works published but today's not that day.

Back to Titanic, I'm particularly glad you appreciate your compatriot Sabine (who will get a scene in the next chapter) and Lawrence. They were minor characters but gosh, how I love them. I tried to add more depths and give them a bit more space in the series since they only appeared from time to time in the original book.

I find the friendship between Lawrence and Zetta quite interesting and a bit endearing. At the Turkish Baths, Zetta described it in these terms:

Of course, it refers to the fact that they're both gay and they can understand each other better than anyone else. But these lines and the affability they showed when he joined Zetta's table for dinner in first class made me picture the two of them as that kind of friends who aren't close as they don't keep in touch or hang out together all the time but whenever they find each other, it's as though they never parted. As many of us feel today about their fellow gay/bi/trans and so on friends, they rely on each other for a support they cannot find elsewhere so they can chat of nothing and everything, laugh but also have deep conversations out of nowhere without needing explanation or excuses. They simply understand the need to talk of certain parts of their lives: finest historical mlm/wlw solidarity. I cannot bring myself to imagine, for instance Lawrence talking of Felix with other gentlemen but Zetta would surely ask him how he's doing. Vice versa I can see the only one Zetta would truly speak of Adele being him.

"Sometimes our secrets are what make our lives worth living. No matter with what high cost they come attached"

I must admit I am quite proud of that sentence 😅

I just thought the story needed something that could explain why Zetta eventually decides to "fight for Adele" in her own way, writing her that note begging to come to the party after months of silence, but also Adele's change of heart about secrecy. We know that Adele has been stagnating for some time after the sinking and the abandonment, dealing with trauma, loss and starting anew in a new country...or at least that's how I picture her? Hileni says she's hardly leaving the shop, she looks afraid to live in full survivor sense of guilt and suffering from the sudden disappearance of her love. Through those months she changes and I reckon this change includes the shift from this (in my playthrough)

To this:

Back on the Titanic Adele seemed almost unapologetic about showing her affection as if "pushing boundaries". True, she's an outcast unlike Zetta and the adeline pumped high in the aftermath of the collision but she was the lesbian hero everyone dreamed in the moment: proclaiming her love for Zetta and kissing her passionately in the crowd. Quite a shock for super closet lesbian like Zetta! Then, months later she no longer says "I don't care who's watching" but is the one proposing a secret romance, accepting to live her love behind closed doors and putting up a mask in public if that's what it takes to be with Zetta. I think she came to the same conclusion Lawrence stated. And I think it's interesting how the change in Zetta is somehow symmetrical: from freezing on the l word to realising she doesn't want to part from Adele - and kissing her on the deck uncaring of the crowd - to make it happen after her own stagnation.

As for the Richard discourse, I believe that what Mateo said was for once true:

Adele and her conscience, her courage inspired her to be a better version of herself while her compassion softened a bit Adele. At the beginning of the story, Zetta is bitter, sarcastic, utterly gorgeous but not so pleasant to have around, for her own decision: her guard is up and she's unhappy. Through the story, she shows a new side of her, compassionate, protective, smart and gentle that was there but Adele rekindled. In the next chapter I will give a hint of other ways in which I believe Adele inspired her to action.

But a change I picture being a tail end of this is being (somewhat) honest with Richard. Adele put her freedom at risk for her and I want to believe that gesture impressed Zetta more than she admitted to herself maybe. She praised her conscience and courage...now it was her time to be brave. Zetta not saying a thing after what happened made little sense to me, if she suffers so much as we get to understand. Complete honesty is not a safe route or at least one she is not willing to go for but she pushes herself as far as she feels comortable stating the truth: is he convinced to marry her even knowing that she cannot love him like he does? Seems like an honest and merciful warning: Zetta cares for her career but she is not a heart of stone and I headcanon she likes Richard even if not romantically.

Richard doesn't get the true meaning behind her confession but as you said, could she? Zetta is closeted and very careful not to draw the slightest suspicion on her. He couldn't possibly imagine the truth but I cannot bring myself to see it as completely dumb either. We cannot read a person's heart with Suisse precision but we can perceive coldness or when our feelings are not fully reciprocated. He probably knew already that Zetta didn't love him "like he loves her" and it explained it to himself as stemming from her independence, her being a lady who can't be entirely tamed. Which is not a lie, just one part of the truth.

Sorry, I went down a tangent here and ended up flooding you with words!

Hope to hear from you soon! Stay safe and healthy ❤

#long post #lovely nonny #nonny asks #titanic storyscape #zetta x adele series #lawrence yarrow #richard king #sabine

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mydearsaddiary · 4 years

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Neil Season 3- Chapter 1: 1933

Little curiosity notes: Every chapter will have one. One in the beginning, one at the end. The last name I chose for the Speakeasy Tonight MC is Granger. I wish I could be inclusive with all the last names you guys must’ve chosen but I’ll keep that one for the story (Generic English, I always had the vibes she had English ancestry since it’s never mentioned what her nationality is but we know it’s some sort of European but not Italian, Irish or French and her family had predominantly English names (I think her parents are Edward and Frances, but we have Charles, Edith and Hazel). However, I found a little way to be inclusive of the first name. I named the main character here Mary Catherine Granger, but almost every time everyone will call her by the nickname MC (Also works for Main Character) or Ice Box Flapper, unless it’d look weird (like her parents wouldn’t call her by her nickname). I hope when MC appears you guys can at least imagine what you decided to name her in the game! Hope this helps!

Author notes: It took me a while to write this but I finally did so here’s the first episode! I really hope you guys enjoy my imagination, I miss Speakeasy Tonight as much as you guys do! Please reblog, share, like it and don’t hold back on sending me opinions or criticism in here or in my private messages! It’s a long chapter and it starts with a future look, the next chapters will focus completely on 1926, with only a few occasional scenes in the future but not like this! Thank you, enjoy!

-Candy, My Dear Diary.

——

Fanfic: Speakeasy Tonight (originally by Lovestruck Voltage Games)

Neil Season 3

Chapter 1: 1933

1933

My ways had taken me to live in one of the famous bungalows in Chicago, it’s not what I would’ve imagined for myself, but it was more than I could ask for during these times. The now bankrupt city was once the source of vitality of my not so misspent youth.

The Chicago bootlegging scene was a world I discovered and would come to love when I was just nineteen. The youthfulness and freeness and excitement of the Prohibition life and running a speakeasy had turned into something completely different. I was twenty-six, I was still relatively young but I wasn’t nineteen anymore. The thrill of the illegal drinking had died once it was back to being legal. Gangsters were still alive, but the risk wasn’t worth it anymore, now vileness was the only reason to remain in a life of crime

Needless to say the location of the Ice Box had closed its doors, but the Ice Box itself remained alive in the family we had created. Cliff Conway had opened the Conway Diner. He was the owner along with still using his talents as a bartender there (and working in the kitchen sometimes making the best strawberry pie in the country). The place focused more on food, but drinking, dancing and music was still all part of it.

Uncle Charlie was a stubborn old man who wasn’t going to sit at home if his life depended on it. After being shot he was never the same, he had considerable health problems that weren’t huge if he watched himself. After being in the hospital countless times for not doing so (and after Neil yelled at him some) he finally got that into his head. Charlie’s appliances stayed open and things were going fine somehow, so during the day he stayed there and worked. It didn’t require him to do much and it still brought revenue. Later he’d come to the diner and spend time with everybody, Cliff would let him help sometimes. On top of everything, Uncle Charlie still had his Neighborhood Association. Crime was still part of life in Chicago and he still put in time to make sure people were safe.

Cleo, Julius and Sophia still provided entertainment there. Andrew was no longer needed as a bouncer or to keep people out, so even though it seemed like the last thing we’d imagine him doing, Cleo and Cliff both convinced him to take some culinary classes and work as a cook (and occasionally send away a rude client or somebody who drank too much).

Elliot was away much of the time in Hollywood. Since the Wall Market crashed a few years back, movies were everybody’s distraction. He got deal after deal, but he couldn’t stay away from us for too long, we’d always see him back here, playing poker and still always winning against some patrons (and Vince, who still always lost).

Donovan was in love. Everyone knew that the reason the flatfoot still hanged around us even though the Conway Diner didn’t need protection from the coppers was because he was still completely in love with Cliff’s whiskey. So at night after his work he’d always be there. He missed Elliot most of the time but still found ways to entertain himself.

Even Gerald O’Fallon was still in some ways involved with us. He opened up a ritzy restaurant he named The Broiler after his joint back in the Prohibition days. He still worked a deal with Cliff so Vince would supply his restaurant like before and they were still competitors. Funny to think it’s still the same. He sometimes comes by to dine with us and get into an argument with Vince as usual, which brings us to our Italian friend.

Vince was sometimes still involved with the crime life, Mad Dog Moretti’s reputation followed him until the end of prohibition and after. He helped out bringing supplies, food and doing the same he did with Liquor at the Ice Box. However Vince was still a hot head with a gun who had no other gangsters to fight. Sometimes he still let it get the best of him, he would get in trouble with some criminals, exchange shots and ended up the diner at night when it was empty with some different wound. Because of that Neil was still needed to patch him up.

Doc Dresner. Besides fixing Vince up and taking care of my uncle, well, he still sat at the bar and drank his bourbon at the diner. However, a few things had changed for the doc who sat down at the Ice Box and gave everyone the cold treatment. He still had his sarcasm in his voice and the cynicism in his personality, alright. Everyone still got treated the same, but since 1926 somethings had softened this man.

First he carried a little more of a tired look in his eyes from having to deal with children and a wife (although I like to pretend the latter one isn’t much to deal with). The responsibilities that came with being a father showed through. Me and the kids, we kept him less dark and bleak. Although his personality would always be there, he smiled, that warm smile, more often when we were around. Then sometimes when he was mad at one of us he’d put up the façade he built for everyone else, but that didn’t last long.

I think Neil was also happy now that our oldest, Alton, was old enough he had just started teaching him how to play chess. Charlotte and Lucius (or as everyone called him little Luke) had some years ahead of them. But besides his family life there was something else that improved his mood.

About two years ago, Neil had sent an application to the State Medical Board to reapply for his license, he went to hearings and it was a long process. I didn’t take much part in it but I understood that Charlie and the doctors that took care of him throughout his withdrawal processes downstate testified as witnesses that he had overcome his morphine problem and the court approved.

Neil joined the legal side of things along with the rest of us and was able to practice legally again. Being at a hospital took too much time away from everything so everybody helped out to reform the infirmary he had before into a nice doctor’s office not too far from the appliance store. He helped out the neighborhood like he did before, took care of some emergency situations and sometimes went to people’s houses if they were too incapacitated.

I believe that only leaves me. The Ice Box Flapper. Well, flapper no longer. Not me and not any other girl either. I still liked the red hair as an added charm of mine and my curls didn’t go nowhere but they were more organized like romantic waves and you’d find my hair a little longer these days. I didn’t spent a lot of time at Menken’s anymore but I still loved fashion. Although nothing was as extravagant as what I used to wear, even the calf-long dresses or skirts still had a belt with a glimmering accessory attached to it, or the delicate tilted hats had a bow. I always found my ways.

The question is, what exactly was I doing? The day I normally spent at the house with the kids, Neil would come home and we’d spend some time together and then he’d give me a ride to work and stay there. Where? Well, the Conway diner still needed a chippie with a way of the words as a host, and what better than this former flapper with a way for numbers too? I helped Cliff out with the clientele and worked on the accounting side of the business. Some days Cliff would lend me to Uncle Charlie when he needed help. I’d bring the kids over and Alton and Charlotte would help (or try to).

Even if things did change, it seemed one way or the other we all found our place. There was really a life after prohibition.

I was coming back from the market. It was a little solemn watching people have to count and put back things they could no longer afford, but there was no way to avoid buying food. It was Friday morning, last day of work for this week. Neil and I decided we’d save the weekends for us and the kids. I gave the taxi driver his dime and climbed out of the cab to meet the front of the bungalow we’d bought after we found out I was pregnant with my second child.

It met the sidewalk with a nice little white fence, and once you were past it a clean little garden decorated the front along with one small tree facing the street. Everything contrasted the neighbor’s porch who had given up on the positive and hid behind tall, uncared for, grass. The white stairs led to a small but still nice-sized porch. I had made a point of making it a place to spend summer mornings at. I had placed a wooden bench and on the other side of the blue door there was a table and five metal chairs surrounded it, I always liked to people watch, Neil liked to read more than anyone, so when it was hot outside we’d lose ourselves in our activities and small talk.

I walked inside to meet the living room, mostly in shades of blue. The wall paper also had shades of white and Victorian patterns on it. The sofa and the loveseat surrounded a coffee table and where by the fireplace, which on top resided the house’s radio. Further back by the window there was a dining area with wooden tables and chairs. Only a half wall and an open doorway separated the room from the kitchen. I liked it that way, it eased the conversation. The kitchen was well-lit and mainly white.

A corridor was by the front door. It led to a nice bathroom right in the middle, in which I took longer-than-necessary baths and right after it on the same side two doors led to two bedrooms. One was ours and the other the kids’.

Our bedroom looked like a mixture of Neil’s old room in his apartment and mine in Uncle Charlie’s house. My vanity table and mirror were still where I got ready in the morning, one-third of the closet was Neil’s and the rest was mine, but it was still all fair and square since he occupied most of the drawers. The bed I brought in from Uncle Charlie’s house, but the blankets were a cool shade of green instead of the more feminine colors I had before.

The children’s room we kept light. They had to share so sometimes things got messy, but their beds were separated enough that they didn’t feel suffocated. Luke slept with us half of the nights too, so that helped. They were all a close pack, even if they were very different from one another.

Alton Hasting Dresner had just turned six. Named after Neil’s best friend, he was the spitting image of his father with icy blue eyes and golden slightly curled locks. On top of it, he was (for sure) a daddy’s boy. He imitated Neil in everything. His favorite toy was the doctor’s set, he spent hours asking Neil about chess and moving paws across the board. Sometimes he’d get Neil’s philosophy books and talk about arguments and keep saying the word “rhetoric” and talk about Plato and Aristotle even though he had no idea what he was talking about. Once I caught him drinking orange juice out of one of the whiskey glasses we kept for Neil’s bourbon. He sat right where Neil sits and looked just as pensive as he would. Alton says when he grows up he wants to be a combat medic in the army (Neil is very against it) and then after he wants to be a doctor. If we had told him about the morphine problem Neil had I bet he would want to be a morphine fiend.

Charlotte Granger Dresner was named after my uncle and Charlie came to be her nickname too. That for sure made her his favorite. We both loved Uncle Charlie, so choosing her name was a piece of cake. She sported light brown curls like Shirley Temple and bright hazel eyes. She was a little blabbermouth and her manners reminded me of Edith, it also made her my parent’s favorite. She enjoyed playing Momma and being the perfect pretend wife taking care of the house and dolls just as much as Edith liked doing as a kid.

She was also too preoccupied to make sure she looked good, too much at five if you ask me. I let her play and so did Neil, but she did end up being the biggest target of his sarcastic comments. She’d come into the living room with enough powder on her face to fluff up a sugar cookie into a cake, Neil proceeded to giggle, she’d look at him and say “What are you laughing at?” to which he’d reply with something along the lines of “Didn’t know the circus came to town”, which would promptly get her in a lather and she’d stomp away into her bedroom.

However, she was the one Neil was most protective of, after all she was his little girl. Neil almost passed out when she came out declaring she had a new boyfriend called Rick whom she met at the playground that afternoon. Neil gave a piece of his mind to Little Rickie and his parents the next day and let’s just say they haven’t been there since.

Lucius Edward Dresner was our youngest. Everyone, called him Luke or Little Luke. He was named after Neil’s sister Lucille. She had been bending Neil’s ear as soon as she found out I was pregnant and Neil probably felt he should since she named the now 7-year-old Cornelia after him. He was just one year and seven months old. Luke had hazel eyes like mine and blonde hair like Neil’s. In appearance, Luke was the one who resembled me the most. Even though he could barely walk his personality shined through. He was a shy and quiet kid, didn’t make much of a fuss as a newborn and he only cried out of pain, being scared or if he was really tired.

I have to say I never imagined myself as a mother. Alton was an accident, I had a lot of doubts. Having Neil by my side made things easier, he was responsible and he took care of me, always reassuring me everything was going to be okay. When he was born I had a lot of growing up and adjusting to the situation to do, but I got there. Eventually I found out I loved my little family with Neil. I loved everything about it even if it was hard. Our little chaos in our house added the sense of adventure I enjoyed, so we planned Charlotte. We decided we were done then, until the year before when we tried for Luke. Then we promised ourselves we were done for good.

-Helen?- I asked going into the house. Helen was an older nanny we’d pay to watch the kids at night. That morning I asked if she could watch them as I ran some errands and she came to help out. She was a bigger woman and taking care of kids was a joy for her, so I knew she’d take care of them well.

She came out of the room into the kitchen happier than ever- Mrs. Dresner, you’re quick, you got everything you needed?

-I told you MC is fine, or even Mary, Helen- I mentioned it again, but the woman wasn’t fond of nicknames or being on a first-name basis. She was very traditional. She called me “Mrs. Neil Dresner” for months. I finally convinced her to shorten it, but something told me I wouldn’t be able to do much more than that- But thanks for asking, everything is just fine.

-That’s good Mrs. Dresner, Little Luke is taking his nap- she ignored my first comment with a friendly smile on her face- The kids are playing in their room so if you don’t mind I put him in the crib you have in your room.

I let her know I didn’t mind one bit and she said she’d come back later at night and watch them. I thanked her and she was on her way. I still wasn’t much of a cook but being a mother required me to be at least a little better than what I was before. I fixed up lunch for the three of them. I usually ate later with Neil when he got home.

I could hear Alton’s loud laughs and Charlie’s mad little screams and it was sure a good time to break them up- Hey, you guys, lunch is ready!- I poked my head out the corridor to call for them- Now!- I said when they took long, Alton came running and Charlotte came out still mad by whatever her brother did, but soon enough they were both sitting at the table

-Where did you go Momma, you didn’t go to Robbie’s did you?-Alton looked up while he ate. A fella named Robert had this toy store and it was betrayal for Alton if we went in there without him

-Wouldn’t want you to take any more money from me by going there- I joked around with him

-Yeah, Alton- Charlie said staring him down- She doesn’t want to spend all of her money on your silly toys!

-Hey missy, you spend all of my money too using all of my makeup- I pointed at her, but that didn’t stop the both of them from going at each other like Vince and Donovan

-Alright, stop it you too. Eat now- I put the rest of the groceries away- If you don’t behave there’s no ice cream after- I said and they both started making good progress with their lunch. I stepped out taking my apron off once I heard Little Luke’s noises from the bedroom. I came back, lectured Alton about eating too fast and sat at the table helping the youngest one eat his baby food while the others finished up

They were well into their ice cream when Luke pointed and kept saying “Ishe crean”, and those big pleading eyes of his convinced me to give him a little bit of it.

Neil chose that moment to walk into the door, taking his shoes out and sighing like he had the most stressful day at work and was happy to be home. Alton abandoned his ice cream to go running to the door yelling “daddy!” all excited. Neil smiled to him and lowered himself to pick him up and walk him back to the dining table

-Have you been behaving while I was gone? - He asked putting him to sit down to eat ice cream again

-Of course I have!- He lowered his voice to seem manly and then went back to eating

Charlie didn’t stop eating and with her spoon in her mouth she opened her arms to Neil who hugged her and kissed her forehead- Hi daddy!- She greeted him, while Luke who had made a mess out his ice cream on his hands and mouth kept pointing at him saying “Dada”.

Neil asked how she was doing to which she replied “Great, because she had tea with her kids and her teddy bear and it was the classiest tea ever”, and Neil pretended it was the most interesting thing in the world

-Dada!- Luke said it louder this time since in the other three times he didn’t get the attention he wanted

-Seems like someone’s needy- I said looking at him on my lap while he anxiously waited for his Poppa to come.

-What has your mother been doing to you?- He lowered himself in front of us and before I could give him a snappy comeback he started cleaning his mouth and fingers with a paper towel. His attention to it and his calm hands over him showed his doctor steadiness. It put me in a trance when he acted so carefully, and I smiled to myself thinking of how something so small as cleaning his little flingers made me think of how much I was in love with Neil Dresner. Being there with him, watching the family we created together, gave me this warm fuzzy feeling in my belly. Happiness. I had settled down and this was my life and I didn’t mind one bit.

After, Neil picked Luke up giving him the attention he wanted. I got up collecting the ice cream bowls and washing them while Neil sat down where I was and caught up with the kids who fought for his attention talking about their day. He glanced at me in the kitchen, giving me a small smile, the one letting me know he was coming to greet me in a second. I watched their exchange from the sink for a little bit. Then, Neil gave Luke for Alton to hold and walked in my direction

I giggled lowly when he held my face giving me a long kiss, a kiss I was longing for since he walked out the door that morning

He looked at me, face still close to mine, hands still resting on my face-I love you-He whispered, like it was a precious secret between the both of us

-I love you, Neil- I answered in the same tone, leaning towards him for another kiss- How was your day?

-Oh, you know, desperate people thinking they’re going to get pneumonia and tuberculosis and scared they won’t have the money to pay for it because their husbands got laid off.

-What do you tell them?-I hugged him around his waist, looking up

Neil responded with one arm hugging me around my waist-That if they’re worried about their money they shouldn’t be coming to the doctor’s perfectly healthy

-Not very sweet with the words are you?

-When have you ever known me to be sweet with words?-He looked down giving me that sarcastic glance

-Hmm… You can give me a toothache sometimes- I smiled kissing him once more

-Not if you’re giving me a headache-He snapped back and let me go- I haven’t achieved my perfect bourbon levels to handle the rest of the day yet- He said walking over to his bourbon cabinet pouring him a drink- Want one? - I replied not right this second and he poured it in his cup two more times before putting the drink away

-Hey daddy-Charlotte looked at him from the couch while playing with her dolls- Can you and mommy tell me that story again?

-Your mother is better at talking than I am- He pointed at me, still with the bourbon glass in his hand

I walked over sitting by her- Which story this time?

-How you and daddy met- She said while Neil sat by her other side, interlacing my fingers in his, holding my hand firmly

-No, Charlie!- Alton complained- We hear that one all the time. Poppa worked with Uncle Charlie- “Great uncle Charlie” was too long for everyone- And then Momma came to Chicago and to live with Uncle Charlie and that’s how they met!

-Oh and how mommy was working at Uncle Charlie’s store so hard she fainted and daddy had to take care of her- she sighed- So romantic!

Me and Neil just giggled between ourselves at their silliness.

-Stop it, Charlie!- Alton declared- We already heard that one SO MANY TIMES- He put a huge emphasis on that phrase- I want to hear a different story

-Alright Alton-I said- What story do you want to hear?

-How did you and Poppa get married?- He looked up from the ground where he was sitting

-Oh yea!- Charlie seemed just as excited- Did he kneel in front of you? Did he say that you were the love of his life? Did you wear a beaaautiful gown? Did you guys go to a really romantic honeymoon in Paris?

-If you keep asking we can’t answer- Neil said, making she just look at us excitedly waiting to hear what we had to say. Neil then looked at me since he declared I was the best storyteller

-We decided to get married over a chess game. I told Neil that if I won we had to get married

-And then what happened?- Alton asked, this time sitting on the couch himself

-Well, I won!

1926

More than a few times I’ve heard from Poppa that my actions were comparable to a gal who’s on a fast track to hell. I must think he convinced himself that was the path I was on, which is why he sent me to Chicago to live with uncle Charlie, whom he thought was even a stricter blue nose than he is. By my father’s standard I was going to hell, alright. Until half a year ago I would have cared. Besides my escapades to have fun in the middle of nowhere in Ohio, I would’ve still cared some. I didn’t want to be a complete disappointment.

Funny thing is my attention changed. I no longer sought the approval of Poppa, but of the father figure that had come into my life since I’ve been here: Uncle Charlie. He didn’t judge me for being who I was and he welcomed me into his little Ice Box family which I soon figured out was where I belonged.

Uncle Charlie was back home for good and he was very pleased when Neil asked for my hand in marriage to him. It was a little too traditional for me but he insisted in talking to Charlie and getting his blessing. Uncle Charlie was indeed pleased. For the sake of keeping up with the traditional standards for the older people we said Neil was the one who popped the question.

Then, Uncle Charlie gave us a two-week vacation from the Ice Box. After Vera Peters was no longer a threat, things had been a little more pacific at the speakeasy. The occasion was that since we had made it official we couldn’t delay any longer meeting each other’s families. We had to go to Columbus and to Boston.

I didn’t know if I was ready to see my folks yet, but Neil seemed more prepared than I did. He had gotten invited for Lucille’s baby shower for his niece Cornelia and with a little push from me he had decided to become close to her again. Neil was ready to go back to Boston. He then finished up his letter to his sister. I didn’t read it but I know it mentioned some apology to never answering her letters, catching up with what’s going in his life, letting her know that he was soon to be married to little old me and that I would be coming along with him to attend her baby shower.

I also sent a letter to Momma mentioning our visit but it was shorter and to the point.

The next day, Neil picked me up from Uncle Charlie’s house. Charlie gave me a letter for Poppa and to let him know he was expecting him in Chicago. I made sure to tell him I’d let them know.

We made our way to La Salle Station and soon enough we were in a fast-moving train, I was going back the same way I’d come and the anticipation of showing a new self that my parents expected made my heart pulse a little faster. Neil must have noticed my agitation because he held my hand tight

-Everything will be okay, MC- He smiled at me- I’ll be there the whole time.

——

Little Curiosity notes: MC and Neil will be visiting first Columbus then Boston in the next two chapters. Both their families will show up. There’ll be a little drama in Columbus but Boston will be very eventful, lots of drama! After that the two will go back to Chicago where the main setting will be the Ice Box and follow the original story of Gangster and Prohibition drama + The growth in Neil and MC’s relationship until the wedding.

Author’s note: My chapters do run a little long! Let me know if you guys want it shorter, but normally they’ll be about this length! This chapter focused more on the future but from now on we’ll be focusing our story on 1926 on and what happened directly after Neil Season 2. I hope you guys enjoyed this first chapter! Thank you!

-Candy, My Dear Diary

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tickle-her-senseless · 4 years

Text

Important

Hey all. Just wanted to respond to questions from members of a couple of Discord servers run by the same person following a chaotic couple of days. I’m putting all the info and screenshots (minus names, pics and locations) here, so I can just direct people to this post if they have questions.

I had been intending to just head back here to Tumblr and let the situation lie, but unfortunately the reason given by the automated bot for my ban mentioned “crossing consent multiple times”. Today, friends have been sending me worried questions relating to this, so I’m concerned that the server owner may have made a similar claim in public. Now I pretty much have to say something as that’s such a serious thing to say about someone, particularly on any kind of kink scene.

The mention of consent actually relates to the server owner. Near the beginning of the lockdown, she and I were speaking a lot, she began to tease me in DMs, I responded with a piece of writing dedicated to her, we exchanged pictures - and eventually confessed a mutual attraction. We made plans for the end of lockdown, she talked about driving through Europe and showing me her favourite places. Although her English is perfect, I began learning her language through an app as I wanted to make the effort (Brits are renowned for being lazy with languages), and kept it up every day for months, amusing her with my clumsy pronunciation on calls. Sometimes she would send me explicit comments/thoughts, although I was always nervous to initiate that kind of thing.

One day she sent a message saying that she was still coming to terms with the end of her last relationship and would need to take things more slowly, as she was finding romantic sentiments (as opposed to kinky ones) hard to deal with. Naturally I replied “Of course, in that case I’ll wait for you to initiate that stuff once you’re ready”. At some point afterwards, she sent me a message out of the blue saying “I want cuddles ❤️” and I thought “oh, this is a level she’s OK with” and responded. I think it was the following day when I tried to pick up where we’d left off (without going any further, just cuddling in bed type stuff). She reciprocated and we continued. I also (in an attempt to consider her feelings) asked her if the idea of me posting an old session video on my blog for an American friend would upset her at all. Intending to reassure her about my intentions, I mentioned ”...not wanting to tickle anyone except you and saying no to all of the other UK people on the servers who are asking about post-lockdown sessions”. I also said “I do feel a commitment to you”, which (with hindsight) was probably a foolish or misleading word to use in a purely ler/lee sense.

A week later she sent a message I didn’t immediately understand along the lines of “I thought you were going to let me initiate romantic stuff, you don’t seem to have understood me at all”. I wasn’t sure what she was referring to - the recent story I’d written for her? Use of the word “commitment”? Something else? I tried to talk with her on the phone as some wires had clearly become crossed via text, but she refused for five weeks (citing not being in the right headspace), before finally calling when I sent a message explaining that anxiously waiting to mend the friendship in lockdown by myself for over a month was having a terrible effect on me mentally, and I was going to have to “throw in the towel”, wishing her luck and every happiness.

During our phone call, she claimed that the main issue had been the fluffy cuddle messages which she took to be a serious and repeated boundary/consent violation (citing her wish to avoid romantic talk). This was the last thing I expected and really shocked me. Of course I apologised frantically, repeatedly and profusely. I also said I hoped she could see how I’d made the mistake innocently and honestly when:

- she initiated it the first time, so I assumed it was something she was happy to talk about.

- when I picked up where we left off, she didn’t say “Actually, d’you mind if we don’t today?” and continued the cuddle talk instead.

She said that because she initiated it one day didn’t mean that she wanted to continue the day after - fair enough. The difficult thing to accept was the idea that she felt so violated by the attempt to carry on the next day that she found herself frozen to the point of not being able to say “actually I’m not in the mood just now” and carried on with it, and that I was at fault regardless. She even used the word “harassing” to describe it, which I found very harsh considering my inability to read minds over hundreds of miles. Especially when I couldn’t see or hear her to pick up on body language, tone of voice etc to guess that she was saying one thing but feeling a different way. She said, word for word, “It’s like when someone’s choking you and you can’t speak, you’re literally choking me!” As someone who, as a teenager, was once choked on the ground by my own father until I blacked out and lost bladder control, I did see that as a stretch at best, but chose not to challenge it as she was upset.

I also suggested that, looking back, we probably should’ve clarified exactly what was meant by “romantic stuff” when we almost certainly had different takes on it eg. I’ve cuddled after every 1:1 session I’ve ever had, even platonic ones, purely from the angle of aftercare and a sense of having shared an experience. I was told that despite our different ages and experiences of romantic love, there was only one objectively correct definition of “romantic” - hers.

We went around in circles for over four hours - I apologised over and over while explaining how I got the wrong idea and asking her to understand and forgive, while she tearfully called me a gaslighter, a consent violator, an excuse-maker, a harasser ... eventually I collapsed into tears myself (I’m ashamed to admit), totally worn down, and she softened a bit. She finally said she didn’t believe I’d done anything intentionally, and she still wanted to spend time together in the real world. We made up, spoke warmly as friends for an hour, and I left the call exhausted but relieved. After a few days’ reflection, though, I decided against ever travelling to meet her for real, as the experience had shaken me considerably - and I figured it’d be risky to meet someone in real life when I didn’t trust her completely not to accuse me over either nothing or an innocent misunderstanding. I was still wondering how to explain this to her when things got wild on the server.

A few days ago, a Tumblr user with a stated age of 18 contacted me to say nice things about my blog, which (I hope this doesn’t sound conceited) isn’t out of the ordinary. When she told me she was English and totally new to the scene, I suggested the Discord server as a place where she might make some friends (given the large UK membership) and sent her an invite link. The rest is set out in the mega screenshot saga below, which begins in the staff chat. I’m “SwiftX”, my real name is in teal, the server owner is in blue and her friend and co-moderator is in purple. All other names and locations are in black:

Before sending the last message, I actually typed out five different versions of a counter-argument before eventually deciding to step back. Being totally dismissed and lectured by two people about British labour laws and pub ID measures by two non-Brits nearly a decade my junior was irritating, yes, but the baseless suggestion that maybe I’d done something in private with the new member and was somehow “arguing against” ensuring she wasn’t a child because of that horrified me. As if I’d allow a child access to explicit content to cover my own discomfort - and anyway, I’d done no more than exchange greetings with the girl and point her towards the server, where she was actually verified and granted access to all channels by the guy in purple, not me! After a couple of hours’ contemplation, I politely asked to be removed from the moderator staff, but a disdainful response to my request prompted me to explain it, and why I was upset. Not all of what I said was necessary to say, but all of it was true:

She immediately muted me for 48 hours - “staff disrespect and degrading comments”. Not a problem, I had work to be getting on with. Late that evening, however, her friend arrived in my DMs:

Him: ...it’s creepy that a 32 year old man is potentially teasing a minor

Me: Well I can prove I haven’t teased her, her profile says she’s 18, and the person who exposed her to explicit content was you when you verified her - despite admitting to having had doubts about her age.

Him: ...I’ll drop that subject

Moderator of the year, ladies and gentlemen 🙄 Anyhoo, later that day I received a ban notification from both servers run by this owner, citing “crossing consent multiple times, guilting and being degrading along with causing several conflicts”. I was surprised to feel a flood of relief, but the consent mention really disturbed and worried me, as I’d been under the impression that the server owner had fully accepted that the earlier stuff had been an innocent misunderstanding. Later that day, good friends of mine began sending me worried DMs questioning my record and asking if I’d been inappropriate with a bunch of people, so I’m concerned that the staff may have said something that (deliberately or not) has encouraged speculation. This post is intended to be a landing page to which I can direct anyone concerned about my character so that they they can form their own opinions.

When my follower count began to take off, I became determined to avoid any kind of rift with another prominent member of the community. It’s so frustrating to watch an already niche subculture splinter into factions over needless disputes. This is why I’ve kept names etc. out of this post. If anyone suspects they might know who the server owner is, or actually knows who she is because they’re here from Discord, I would implore them not to out or target her in any way. There are two reasons:

- I don’t want to start a flaming war, I’m desperate to move on and begin improving my mental health after an awful couple of months ... I just need to protect my reputation first.

- I don’t actually think she wanted drama ... I think her genuine perception is that I’ve said something horrible to her. That’s more upsetting than the idea of her trying to smear me, to be honest. I suspect she feels like crap too, and I don’t want to add to her mental load. I honestly hope she’s OK.

Hopefully this will reassure my friends and anyone else questioning my character because of whatever’s been said in that server. I’d also hope that my history of positive interaction here, including being on great terms with everyone I’ve ever had a session with, supports what I’m saying further. It’s a shame this had to happen, but I’m trying to think positively about what lies ahead and trust in my real friends. I’d also like to thank the other members of the server staff who’ve privately sent me messages of support and sympathy having already seen the entire exchange.

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sionnac · 4 years

Text

錦衣之下 23

Scene swapping again, we have Lu Yi and Jinxia “undercover” in plainclothes to investigate the opera troupe where a member of its troupe died in the same way as their jailed not-really-thief, but Lu Yi is still kind of grumpy over Xie Xiao’s existence.

Once again, we have Jinxia’s shameless appreciation of pretty people as she sits there staring fixedly at plainclothes Lu Yi.

There’s a thing I love about Lu Yi when he reacts to people commenting on his looks. He always looks at himself and sort of absorbs what they’re saying like, “....oh, is that so?”

If you squint, you will catch just the hint of his expression softening when Jinxia says that the plainclothes look makes him more approachable. Jinxia is the friend we all need. Jinxia would keep us all well fed on compliments.

“大人, bear with this for a little while longer. This is the best plan I’ve got for getting close to the Chunxi troupe.”

Aiyo, Lu Yi, you tsundere child, you. Just by the dialogue, we can tell Jinxia had to persuade you to come with her, but you totally dressed...down and you’re now sitting here executing her plan with her. Stop pretending you don’t want to be here.

“Why didn’t you ask Yang Yue or Cen Fu? Why’d it have to be me specifically?”

“Because 大人 is a lot more attractive than either of them.”

YOU SILVER-TONGUED CHILD, JINXIA. HAHA. I cannot. The acting for this part is just so carefully measured. Jinxia’s look of innocent surprise is such a good acting choice. It relays to us, the audience, that her compliment is both given without even a whit of personalized romantic attraction and that she’s surprised Lu Yi can’t figure out why. And then couple it with Lu Yi’s equally innocent brief pause of pleasant surprise -- yes, thank for these two actors. Plz, moar togethar, yas? OTL I LIVE IN HOPE.

“Aside from postures and voice, looks are important too.”

“This is the most accurate thing you’ve said in all the time since I first met you.”

HAH. DON’T TRY TO HIDE IT WITH CONFIDENCE NOW, LU YI. You totally were taken aback when she said you looked good. Again, one of the things that makes YiXia couple overly sweet is this.....innocent sort of back and forth with the compliments. Jinxia shamelessly butters him up, while Lu Yi follows up with the equivalent of shrugging and jumping into her vat of butter. It’s sweet because you get the sense that Lu Yi actually rarely thinks about his looks on an everyday basis and is really just following along with Jinxia’s banter.

Cen Fu continues to be best side bro as he acts out the part of a thief whose robbery attempt on the opera troupe boss is foiled by Jinxia, who then uses the fake robbery to worm her way into the opera troupe in typical Jinxia fashion.

Jinxia takes this opportunity to mess with Lu Yi in what is the first of two 4th wall breaking gags. She introduces them both, not letting Lu Yi introduce himself and bestows upon him the name, “Lu 13.” HAHAHA.

Here comes the Chinese slang lessons. How do I even begin to explain the “13″ here? Basically, 13 = B = ....bluntly put, it’s the phonetic equivalent of “cunt” in Chinese and technically means the same but ....somehow not to that exact level of insult. The flavour of the insult is something closer to “asshole,” but it can also be a playful sort of jab between people who are familiar with each other. Long story short, in a 4th wall breaking way, Jinxia is more or less calling Lu Yi an asshole. HAHAHA.

The next set of gifs are just Lu Yi waffling between “nomg” and “curiously interested” as Jinxia spins her woeful, pity-me tale.

The funniest thing about all this is we later find that Lu Yi is on par with Jinxia in roleplaying characters and goes to similar shameless lengths to stay in character. 8yrsold!Lu Yi, best Lu Yi. Truly, they deserve each other. :DD

Finally, Jinxia’s one-man play culminates in the dichotomous “yes, yes, yes!” “no, no, no!” reactions of the two.

If you’re wondering who wins, it’s Jinxia. It’s totally Jinxia, as she drags Lu Yi off to join an opera troupe with her.

Once at the opera troupe, one of its members suggests getting them set up with clothes and some warm up. Lu Yi is thrilled to be doing theater.

Thrilled.

Unfortunately for him, Lu Yi finds his rotating knives-filled glare is casually brushed aside by Jinxia’s cheery, gung-ho attitude.

What. a shame. What. a. shame. :] Next up: Lu Yi enthusiastically blends into the opera troupe. Enthusiastically.

#JYZX

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margridarnauds · 4 years

Note

002 orleans, 001 peyronan, lets GO

001 | Peyronan

when I started shipping it if I did: Funnily, it went under my radar for YEARS, because I. Did not care about Lazare at ALL. Did not even L I K E him. And the 1789 fandom, as a whole, was VERY anti-Ronan. You could not say ANYTHING positive about Ronan at that time. Then, during a stream of Zuka 1789 in June 2017 (THREE YEARS. WHAT THE FUCK? HOW HAVE THREE YEARS PAST?), I was like “Oh? O H? O H ?” and so It began. I started off with the idea of creating a contained series of drabbles, highlighting the two of them over the course of the musical. The idea was that it would essentially be PWP, disconnected, plotless, researchless, no feelings involved, no softening of Lazare, and would probably end at Ronan’s death. But, as I began working the concepts further, I realized that wouldn’t work, and within a few months of beginning the project, I started to call it “The Abomination”, due to it warping far, far out of my control. These days, a LOT of what I’ve written ties back to those original ideas for The Abomination, and a lot of the concepts used in Between the Waves started there (Printing Press being one of them.)

my thoughts: THE BOIS. THE B O I S. My favorite totally canon ship. The two of them really do balance one another out really well, they’re the classic fire and ice combo (though, underneath Lazare’s ice, there’s fire, and underneath Ronan’s fire, there’s ice.) Ronan’s character arc begins and ends with Lazare, and there’s SOMETHING about him going to Paris with this idea of “Okay, I’m going to kill the Comte, take back my lands, and dance on the ashes of the old world” and then meeting Lazare and being like “...okay, new plan: Save this fucking disaster from himself”. There’s something about his arc going from hatred to love. And could this be done with Olympe as well? Yes, it could be. But, for me, I like the full circle happening with Lazare, since he did start this. Both of them have a Hell of a lot to learn from one another, there’s going to be a lot of grappling when it comes to establishing equality, a lot of sniping back and forth, but I also do think, legitimately, they could make one another happy. (And, Hell, even if they didn’t, that doesn’t mean it can’t be a fun ride.)

What makes me happy about them: The general idea that the Comte de Peyrol, a cold-hearted, professional guard dog who probably never really even THOUGHT of love as something he could have, could melt for this revolutionary, no matter HOW slightly, enough to risk everything for a relationship. That, despite everything else, Ronan could love him back. That, even if only for a few months, they got to be HAPPY with one another.

What makes me sad about them: The ending. The things that were left unresolved. It’s doubly sad in, say, the PLP universe, where Lazare really DID love Ronan with his entire heart, but Ronan really died without KNOWING the extent that Lazare was invested. And that Lazare will have to live the rest of his life, HOWEVER long that will be, thinking of how he destroyed the one person who ever gave a damn about him outside of what he could do for them.

things done in fanfic that annoys me: Given that the fandom mainly consists of me + the various friends I’ve kidnapped into the fandom, there really ISN’T all that much? Like, I feel like the 1789 fandom, as a whole, is a fairly chill space (knock on wood.)

things I look for in fanfic: Existing is a lovely start.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: I don’t MIND Camille/Ronan, Ronan/Olympe, or Olympe/Lazare. They aren’t FAVORITES in the same way, but I would probably read fanfic for it. And I have read fanfic for Ronan/Robespierre as well.

My happily ever after for them: Lazare chooses to leave the Army after realizing that it’s destroying him, the two of them escape the worst of the Revolution together and go away, either to London or America (I. Doubt. That someone as high profile as Lazare could slink away to the country like a ton of other aristocrats did.) They live together more or less openly, Lazare deciding against taking a wife for convenience’s sake, and society is left to deal. In theory, they keep two separate bedrooms, but in practice? Yeah, that peasant boy is spending all his time in Lazare’s bed, and Lazare has no complaints.

who is the big spoon/little spoon: See, I WANT to say “Lazare”. This has been my official stance for YEARS. That Ronan routinely cuddles up to Lazare (who had a very difficult time admitting that he, in fact, needs cuddles), and Lazare pulls his arm over him, protecting him, since we KNOW that Lazare tends to feel a deep sense of duty re: protecting the things most important to him, whether that’s the Crown or Ronan. BUT CONSIDER. BIG SPOON RONAN attacking from behind and Lazare getting to feel safe and secure for ONCE.

what is their favorite non-sexual activity: Ronan likes Lazare reading to him. Lazare has a very warm, smooth voice, when he isn’t barking out orders. Ronan loves getting to cuddle against his shoulder or on his lap, Lazare stroking his hair with one hand and holding the book in the other, letting his voice flow over him. Lazare will sometimes (gently) chastise him for not listening to a single word he says, but it’s worth it to see Ronan at peace (and, in the case of at least a few of the works, it isn’t a particularly great loss, anyway.)

002 | Orléans

How I feel about this character: Thotty, ambitious bastard who should NOT be this charismatic and yet somehow IS. Also right for a solid 60% of the musical. I’m trying to articulate all my thoughts but they are just variations on “SON” and “PROBLEMATIC”.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Margrid Arnaud. Arnaud, Margrid. The sister of Marie Antoinette. Street Gremlin. I can KIND of see Antoinette, in a very, very odd way. Less “I love you so now I’m going to destroy you” like the Hungarian did, more “We were friends, there were Undercurrents to it, Things happened to make them have some mutually hurt feelings, and being stung like that set up this Mood for things later on.”

My non-romantic OTP for this character: I’m actually really interested in Louis & Orléans, as a relationship. Like, they were COUSINS. Something went deeply, deeply bad in their relationship at some point, and it totally ruined both of their lives. In another life, they might have been closer, but, with a throne between them....there was really no other way for it to end.

My unpopular opinion about this character: The LOVELY thing about a fandom that consists of, like, three people on a good day is that IT’S MY SANDBOX. But, one thing that I do think is that it wasn’t really a straightforward Mnaipulator-Manipulatee relationship with Margrid. She signed on knowing fully well that she would get her hands dirty, Orléans TOLD her as much, and she wanted it, at the time. It didn’t really benefit him to conceal what they would be doing. The two of them just happened to drift to two different places over time. I’ve seen a certain....tendency to baby Margrid over her choices, because she DOES have a traumatic backstory, but...she can still be rather reprehensible as a human being herself. In the early stages of the musical, HE’D be more likely to hold her back from doing something awful as opposed to vice versa. I also do think that...he didn’t GO OUT intending to supplant Antoinette. That was formed after years of seeing her bungle ruling the country. You can even see it in M cast when Antoinette turns down Rohan’s attempt to make nice, where he has this very distinct “Oh....she DIDN’T....she did” face. That isn’t the face of someone who’s THRILLED that things are going according to plan, that’s the face of someone who’s realizing that there’s only one way for this to happen and for France to remain in one piece, and it’s for him to take the throne.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: The problem with Orléans, as a character, is that at least in the Toho production, I DO think he’s fairly well done. It’s hard for me to REALLY see....what I wish could have happened. Because you kind of realize that there were only ever a few ways for this to end, and as the musical progresses, the available options just get narrower and narrower. It isn’t GOOD, but like....you UNDERSTAND how it happens. I do wish that he had more scenes with Margrid, obviously from a self-indulgent ship perspective. Not even in terms of “canonical makeout session” (since I almost feel like a canonical makeout session would ruin it), but in terms of him finding out that Marie was her sister and that THAT was where he went wrong, but also....I’m not sure how MUCH it would have ended, and there’s something to be said for the tragedy of him just never KNOWING why she betrayed him. That hurt, furious look on his face as he’s led away really is probably the best place to end their relationship on. I would have loved to have seen their second meeting, after Hébert convinced her to take the job, since it would have REALLY given a ton of groundwork for their working partnership and would have given them the chance to discuss their kind of disastrous first meeting. Obviously, I would hope that he gets his head screwed on properly and he runs off with Margrid to America, where they end up living peacefully for many years and having children who are spoiled absolutely rotten, along with his other, legitimate children, who also flee to America. Philippe, being himself, naturally ingratiates himself to the new country, becoming very active in politics, and upon his summoning of his dear friend the Chevalier de Saint-Georges to America, the cause of Abolitionism is given a massive head start. It isn’t entirely France....or London, where Philippe’s heart will always lie, but it’s a nice existence, and his ego is suitably stroked by the American fascination with royalty. (He and Laz still have at least one near-duel, which is halted by their respective significant others.)

my OTP: Morléans. Shockingly.

my cross over ship: Never 5get @lochley fucking selling me on Marie/Olympe/Orléans.

a headcanon fact: Part of why he has his ongoing snipefest with Fersen is that he’s bitter that Fersen was able to fight in the American Revolution while, in his case, after the Royal Family tossed him to the wolves after the Battle of Ushant, he was forced to remain in France and sit it out, and someone as active as Orléans could barely STAND it. (Also, along with Ronan, has SOME form of ADHD. He has a lot of plans, and one LARGER plan, but when it comes to things outside of that one larger plan? Yeah, he scurries around, chases after whatever seems good in the moment. It drives Margrid up a WALL.)

#1789 les amants de la bastille #marie antoinette das musical #a-promise-that-i-keep

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mousetaur · 5 years

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☔ Re-watch Ep 4

Opens with a loving shot of Luther's sweet abs lol

Poor lonely Luther

Bike in the house! How is that safe with all that expensive shit? Go outside!

That leather outfit sure clings, huh? Luther is ummm well packaged......

Mom looks genuinely concerned for her son here but looks away when Hargreeves looks at her so he won't see

So how long was Luther out? His hair and beard have grown but is that a symptom of the serum or is it to indicate weeks or months have gone by?

Who's sick joke was the monkey? He reacts to it so it isn't just the opening title

Why aren't they confused that the people who attacked them knew how to shut down mom without damaging her? Wouldn't it make more sense to shoot her?

If Leonard were genuine, he'd be such a great boyfriend, I'm so mad

The camera pans down pretty quickly, and I see no hint of a boner, so did Klaus climax or just go limp real fast? Why am I thinking about that?

Patch sees through Diego so well and is so kind and loving while still being no nonsense. She's a perfectly balanced character and I'm sad

Diego lets a tear out for her!

Diego stop being a dick! (also it's not Eudora's fault you didn't last)

You know what, if this like cherubim face smiled at me with murder in his eyes and held s knife to my throat, I'd immediately spill my illegal activities too

Luther and Diego stop measuring DICKS

Five's room has a border that shows a little boy pulling a cart!

Sorry Pogo

Who's the Russian babooshka?

Hazel telling Klaus to watch his language

Cha-Cha is a nerd

I love the way she rips the chocolate off

Luther you can't even fit, please let Diego go in

So the eye is destroyed, which almost certainly changes the timeline somehow

I'm sorry, but Five should be horrible burned and injured from that blast. What's he made of, sponge?

Poor Allison desperately reading a tabloid to find out about her daughter

Vanya, let Allison apologise so you two can make a connection!

Fucking want a doughnut so bad right now

Ben is not really that comforting huh? Like, he's trying, but his tone is so harsh. Buddy, soften up a little

Now is not the time to snap at Klaus!

And yet Klaua calms down? Or at least stops trying to reach out

I like the library shot of them searching, the way the camera pans up and you see them on different levels

Diego is right about Luther

They could have been so close

"we're orphans again" um, you were never orphans, you were purchased? Do they not know?

Mr Snuglous teddy bear

Gross, all the siblings knew about Alison and Luther

Hazel is sure he put the do not disturb sign on the door. We get a brief shot of a hand shutting a door with the sign on it. I dunno, something seems fishy. As if someone tampered with it. Maybe someone who knows how time plays out???

I love how Ben winks at Klaus

It must be hard to see his brother in pain and be unable to comfort him

No wonder Klaus became such a good liar

Actually why doesn't Patch already have a warrant? She does have good reason to think there are wanted criminals there

Poor old five probably has reduced tolerance now

Ben "exposition" Hargreeves notices stuff for his brother

Suddenly a self help group of the dead

In order to save the timeline, they just have to kill people. Hazel and Cha-Cha torture them or murder them horribly because they like to. So, ya know, I don't think either of them deserve a happy ending

Eudora nooooooooo

Klaus is so smart, banging his head on the table

Eudora, just let Klaus go and run baby

Klaus, I know you're scared but warn her about the two of them

Still, he's smart for escaping the way he does. Out the door wouls have been death

I gotta find that post about that actress who keeps showing up. They might be on to something.

This scene is so sad. The way he apologises and holds her and says he has to go

He doesn't kiss her. I kinda like that. They weren't romantically involved, not currently, so he doesn't have that right. He instead says goodbye in a still loving, but morr platonic way

#the umbrella academy #episode 4 #spoilers #klaus hargreeves #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #alison hargreeves #ben hargreeves #number five

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wickednerdery · 6 years

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Title: FrostBitten: Ice Cream Author: @wickednerdery Fandom: Marvel Pairing/character: Jotun!OC x Reader (& Loki) Rating: Teen Summary: “Just show me a sundae.” Notes: This is a series/multi-chapter fic - Masterlist Here. Ulfr is a Frost Giant, more clearly so than Loki, and “played” by Lee Pace. This piece is more Ulfr and the Reader, but Loki does show up. The whole thing in general is dark, but this one is actually pretty tame, even sorta fluffy…For consistency and its length it still gets a “Read More” though, haha!

You watch him warily. He’s not overtly threatening, he didn’t root for his turn with you like the others that first night, but there’s something not quite right about Ulfr either. If Loki’s too intense, he’s too erratic. He’s apathetic, then annoyed, now seemingly delighted as he stuffs large spoonfuls of ice cream into his mouth.

“Is...is that all you want?”

“Hmm?” Red eyes glow curiously.

“You don’t...want it...in a bowl, maybe?

He swallows. “You people are almost as fussy as Asgardians.”

“Maybe we just don’t want our ice cream melting all over the place?”

“Is the ice cream melting?”

Now that he mentioned it... “Well, no.”

“Then don’t worry about it.” He stuffs more in his mouth, gives a moan that borders on obscene.

You shift on your stool, play your body into the angles of it. “You, um...you don’t want it in a sundae?” Given his love of the food, he seemed the type.

“Sunday?” He chuckles. “I eat it every day.”

“No, um...” you try not to laugh as you spell it out. “Sundae, it’s uh...” You smile. “Can I show you?”

Ulfr shrugs. “Go for it.” Continues eating.

“Well, don’t eat it all!” You laugh, reach for the tub, only to have him tense slightly. You pause, watch him crimson-eyeing you back. “Are you...scared of me?”

The easy smile returns. “You’re half my size.”

“That’s a bit of an exaggeration.” Your lips curve. “And doesn’t mean you aren’t scared.”

“Just show me a sundae.”

Still smiling you pull items from the refrigerator and cabinets, whatever you think might work for toppings. You set them across the counter before grabbing two bowls. “So...” you settle onto the stool beside him. “What you do is -”

He immediately grabs and tosses the bowls into the sink. “Get on with it.”

You sigh, press on. “Just...add whatever you want to the ice cream. Chocolate sauce, caramel, butterscotch, peanuts, candies, whipped cream.”

“And?”

“And that’s it. That’s a sundae”

He laughs, pouring everything into the ice cream carton.

You can’t help but laugh as well, more when the man stuffs a massive portion of the mixture in his mouth. There’s an unmistakable, deep, growl of enjoyment as he savors the first bite. He swallows hard and growls into another. “Mmm...” he licks lips after another swallow, you copy without realizing. “Genius.”

“Genius?“

“This...” he grins. “This is genius! Who would have thought...only Midgardians.” He chuckles. “Have some.”

“Uh...” you’d forgotten one hunger for another. “Yeah.” You grab a spoon and dig in. This time you’re the one watched and he makes no efforts to hide the keen stare. It should scare you, the intensity of it, but fear isn’t what bubbles up. It’s closer to aroused insecurity. What’s he thinking? Does he like what he sees? Does he even care or is he just playing nice on Loki’s orders? You smile, swallow. “Good.”

“Genius.”

You watch him eat, start to pick up details beyond his eyes. Lines the color of faded-denim too distinct to be veins that decorate his body, his face. The chill that comes off him like an open freezer. His maintained hold on the ice cream unless you go for a bite. Those leather gloves still, always, on. “Can I...ask you something?”

He shrugs as he eats.

“What are you?”

Ulfr has been getting that question since his arrival on Midgard, but yours is somehow different. It holds interest rather than fear. Red eyes soften into yours, he smiles. “What do you think I am?” It’s meant to be cocky, playful, but hits your ears as almost...shy?

“Well, um...I don’t know.” You laugh nervously, not wanting to offend in a guess. “I mean, it’s not a stretch to say you’re from another planet, right?” He blinks, leans in with interest. "But you’re not, um, from Asgard...You’re not like Thor or Loki. You’re big...cold. You make, keep, things cold.” You nod to the ice cream, his smile turns impressed. “Are you a god too?” Your understanding was that Thor and Loki both were...or at least as close to gods as can exist. “Like, an ice god or something?”

His small smile blooms wide; seeing the potential awe in your eyes he wants to tell you he is, but in the end goes with the truth. “I’m from Jotunheim, my people are known as Jotuns...or Frost Giants.”

“That explains your size,” you smile as pieces start to fit into place. “Is...Is that why this place is an ice castle from the outside? Why it’s always wintery now?” Maybe you should be terrified, but all you are is fascinated as you move in closer. “Is it to remind you of home?”

This time he’s the one shifting, only it’s back as you strike on a bit of truth he’d rather you didn’t. Yes, he misses home, of course he does, but there’s nothing left for him there. “It’s to keep those who might attack docile and away from here...And it’s what we do when we take over a planet. Make it more suitable for us.”

Part of you knows all too well how many are dying on the streets due to the bitter cold, a cold of his making...The rest of you is pathetically fascinated. “What else can you do?”

Despite all efforts to hide, control, his Jotun nature there’s something genuine to your interest that makes Ulfr want to show you...to show off. He stands, pulls gloves off, and you see the dull blue lines creating Vs between his fingers before continuing on as roping vines.

You stand, eyes widening in awe, as he cups hands together and they go blue. Deep blue, those crisscrossing lines lifting into ridges, before one hand slowly lifts off the other. In his palm is a small, transparent, four-legged creature. You lean in closer to see it’s made completely of ice. You grin up at him. “Is that a wolf?”

“Ulfr...” there’s a softness mixed into his relaxed nature. “It means Wolf so...” he shrugs. “Wanna see it move?”

“It can move?”

He doesn’t answer, only runs a finger from his other hand across the creature’s back, giving it frost for fur before it begins to shift, settle into a pouncing position before jumping up to attention and barking mutely.

“Oh my god, that’s awesome!” You can’t even pretend it isn’t, that you’re not impressed, amazed; it’s like nothing you’ve seen before. It’s something out of a Tim Burton movie, bizarre and fantastical and beautiful. You reach out to touch, to pet, but suddenly Ulfr closes his hand on the critter.

“No.”

“Sorry,” you frown, deeper as he backs away. “...I just...”

“I wouldn’t get too close to him, my dear.” Loki’s sneering causes you to jump and he laughs. “Have you ever seen a severely frostbitten hand? It’s not a pretty sight, I assure you.” A too-bright smile appears. “Quite a sweet scene you two make. Almost...romantic.”

You can feel the heat of your face, know you should look Loki defiantly in the eye, but haven’t the ability. Instead your eyes furtively go to Ulfr - gloves back on, face dulled - then down.

Loki breathes dark amusement. “Are you enjoying yourself, my bold little pet?”

As if the words themselves remind you, trigger that desire still unsatisfied, you feel your body reignite. The raw need for release returns, intensifies. It’s like you can feel Loki, his fingers between your thighs, at clit, brushing ever so slightly. Teasing, drawing to the edge once more. Deep breath in, slow exhale, and you answer. “I’m just...enjoying ice cream.”

“Yes, I see that.” His eyes rake over your form, setting off sparks. “But there’s more than just ice cream to be enjoyed...Shall I show you?”

“I, uh...” Desperately want to...so desperately you don’t. He’s playing with you, you know it. It doesn’t change the desires, just increases the urge to fight it.

“Come here...Now.”

There’s a new chill from Ulfr, a shutting down, even as he closes in. “What are you waiting for?” Eyes well tears as Ulfr backs up once again, shifts attention away and to his ice cream sundae.

You guess you were right, he was just being nice. Entertaining you until Loki wanted you again. You take a defeated breath and head towards Loki. What else is there to do?

This actually turned out way sweeter than I expected (outside the end, lol), which is nice I suppose. Brings some balance to the darkness before and the darkness to come, haha! I think Ulfr indulges the reader, kinda starts to like her, because her interest in him is genuine, pure, and not tied to a fear of him. Don’t worry, Loki will be in a significant portion of the next piece...and I’m sure he’ll do something terrible, haha! 😉

(Gif made by me via two gifs I found on Google.)

Tagged: @welcome-to-fangirl-hell @chibiyanai @wadeyouwitch @creedslove @lady-crowned-with-stars @moonfaery @annievvv7 @ladyfluff @holykryptonitekitten @lokilvrr @janebrownnie @lokis-little-kitten @alexakeyloveloki @theangelsfightwithdevils @the-blue-tiefling @lokis-lady-death @dangertoozmanykids101 @prometheasmother @vethrvolnir @wintertink @amethyst-dreams-and-candy-canes ...…I think I got everyone, if you want on or off the list, just lemme know!!

#loki #loki laufeyson #loki of jotunheim #jotun #frost giant #OC: Ulfr #original character #loki x reader #loki x reader x oc #predator!loki #predator #frostbitten #au #give me the darkness #ice cream #fanfiction #my writing #not my gif #but kinda my gif

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the-knights-who-say-book · 6 years

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An enchantment of ravens and a court of thorns

I’d seen An Enchantment of Ravens held up as an alternative “fae book” to A Court of Th0rns and R0ses (AC0TAR) since before the book even came out, since there are several conspicuous parallels between them. However, I wasn’t expecting An Enchantment of Ravens (EoR) to read so much like an actual response to AC0TAR.

While I won’t presume to say that Margaret Rogerson wrote her book with AC0TAR in mind, it’s fun to talk about the parallels (or lack of parallels in some cases) anyway, because the difference between the books is a good way of explaining what I dislike about AC0TAR’s romance. It’s easier to explain why one thing in AC0TAR ticked me off when I can point to the way EoR did (or didn’t) do the thing differently and kept me on board with the romance.

some disclaimers:

the following “essay” is not complimentary to the book A Court of Th0rns and R0ses, so if you are a big fan of that book, just don’t read this! i promise you’re (probably) not missing anything you don’t already know

essay also includes spoilers for both books being compared: AC0TAR and An Enchantment of Ravens

the purpose of this essay is not to chronicle all the flaws of AC0TAR, because that would be an entirely different thing. the focus is on how the two books address romance between a fae character and a mortal character in contrasting ways and why i personally like EoR’s take so much better

Full disclosure, it’s been a long time since I read AC0TAR, so this essay is mostly built off my recent reading of EoR. However, I began to see the “conversation” between the books pretty quickly when I started reading EoR.

The first scene that triggered this was Rook, the fair one love interest of EoR, trapping the main character, Isobel, against a wall. It’s not at all a romantic scene, yet it reminded me of one in AC0TAR that did have romantic undertones.

In that scene, Feyre is suddenly accosted by her captor, Tamlin, as she walks through the halls at night. (Page 165-196 AC0TAR hardcover)

I was about to pass him when he grabbed me, so fast that I didn’t see anything until he had me pinned against the wall. The cookie dropped from my hand as he grasped my wrists.

[...]

“Let go,” I said as evenly as I could, but his claws punched out, imbedding in the wood above my hands. Still riding the magic, he was half-wild.

“You drove me mad,” he growled, and the sound trembled down my neck, along my breasts until they ached. [...]

I couldn’t escape. I wasn’t entirely sure that I wanted to.

And it goes on, Feyre both scared and aroused. When she physically pushes him away, he bites her and it turns into a make out scene, ending with:

“Don’t ever disobey me again,” he said, his voice a deep purr that ricocheted through me, awakening everything and lulling it into complicity. (197)

Feyre at least slaps him for that, which makes the scene slightly less intolerable. But I think it’s still important to note that the book honestly looks at a guy who is larger, stronger, older, more powerful than (and etc) the main character and thinks him physically trapping her and refusing to let her go is sexy. Each to their own, I’m know plenty of people enjoy this and other similar scenes in AC0TAR, but since it’s my essay and I get to insert my own opinion: ew.

So Feyre ends up being more aroused than scared, cool for this fictional character. The idea of that happening to me is terrifying. That’s a nightmare scenario, not a romantic one. And the fact that Tamlin really isn’t blamed for this is... awful. The excuse is that he’s under this magic that makes him desperately want sex in some kind of fae fertility ritual (Don’t ask — it’s been too long since I read the book, I’m just skimming around for the scenes I remember). In fact, Feyre is blamed for being attacked.

“So, if Feyre can’t be bothered to listen to orders, then I can’t be held accountable for the consequences [...] Lucien and I both told you to stay in your room.” (AC0TAR 199-200)

I say again: ew.

At least he apologizes. Roses make everything better, apparently, even victim blaming. Feyre is only happy that the old Tamlin is back. They’re falling in love, midnight attacks and all. The way Tamlin traps her and overpowers her is romanticized, shown in that “dangerous but hot” light that doesn’t really adress how it’s so awful. This is the beginning of their romance, not the end.

And then there’s the scene in Enchantment of Ravens that vividly called that AC0TAR scene to mind, precisely because of how differently it’s written. (Pages 52-54, An Enchantment of Ravens hardcover)

Before I could move, Rook stood over me [...] For this wasn’t the Rook I knew. As the feathers shed from his form and gathered into a sweeping coat, they revealed a face livid with fury. No half-smile softened this hard, frozen mask, those amethyst eyes burning like conflagrations. [...]

Anticipating my move, he crowded me against the side of the house and pinned me there. He didn’t touch me, but a clear threat radiating from the arms bracketing my shoulders, the strong hands gripping the wood beside my face. With escape eliminated as an option I found that I couldn’t look away from him. His normally expressive mouth was compressed into a thin, bloodless line as he waited for me to answer.

There’s no sexiness here. This doesn’t turn into a kiss. Isobel is not aroused. It’s not romanticized. It’s portrayed exactly as it is: a terrifying scene in which Isobel is trapped by a larger, stronger guy who could definitely hurt her. And unlike AC0TAR, this is not just one stepping stone to their romance, because the scene is not romantic. It’s a step away from romance.

Isobel, who had developed a crush on Rook because he was gentle and polite and pleasant to be around (and, ok, handsome) as she painted him, is very turned off by the whole “kidnapping you into the fairy realms for doing something you didn’t know was a crime” bit.

I couldn’t believe that just that morning I thought I’d been in love with him. I shook my head. Incredible. (EoR 74)

Yeah, that would my reaction too if my funny, sweet crush suddenly tried to physically arrest me.

And that’s simply the theme of AoR. Rook lashing out, acting out, being violent is never shown as sexy or attractive. What is attractive is his humor, his gentleness, his politeness... nonthreatening, because threats shouldn’t be attractive. He’s held to normal standards, not given a pass because he is ~an unknowable fair one~. He understands that even if he doesn’t understand humans, Isobel deserves an apology when he upsets her. And when he fails to understand those things — such as the fact that she deserves not to be kidnapped — he isn’t shown as attractive until he realizes his mistake.

Later in the book, Rook confesses that he made a mistake, and promises to take her home. And only after that do Isobel’s feelings begin to come back. It takes fourteen pages after he apologizes and makes this promise for them to kiss for the first time. Because the power imbalance before was, well, not conducive to falling in love, to say the least.

By the time Tamlin gets to the same conclusion in AC0TAR, Feyre is very much already in love with him. Apparently being kidnapped, trapped in his castle, her sight altered by magic so she didn’t know what was around her for much of the book, attacked in his halls and blamed for it, is no hurdle in their romance.

There’s one more specific thing in Enchantment of Ravens that contrasts with AC0TAR in a way I want to bring up: Rook’s agreement not to touch Isobel.

“Rook,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady, “before I get up, you have to promise to never touch me again without my permission.”

“I can touch whomever I please.”

“Have you ever stopped to think that just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should?”

[...some paragraphs of Rook being an emo later]

“I give my word that I will never touch you without your permission, except if I need to spare you from harm,” he declared. (76-78)

The promise is binding; Rook physically cannot touch Isobel except if she’s in danger. It’s a strong contrast to Tamlin’s unnecessary biting, at least. It’s Isobel asserting her will and the importance of consent, even for something as small as Rook pulling twigs out of her hair as she slept.

The evolution of the agreement is also pertinent to this discussion. Later on, Isobel agrees to lift the agreement so that Rook can place a new shielding spell on her that will keep other fair folk from being able to hurt her — while giving him much, much more power. The agreement between them that Rook will only use this power to keep other fair folk’s magic off her and never use it to make her do what he wants isn’t magically binding; it relies only on Rook respecting her enough to never do that to her. And it works. Because you probably wouldn’t be able to fall in love with someone who magically took over your mind to force you to do what he wanted, right?

Contrast that to the ending of AC0TAR, when Feyre comes into the exact opposite position of vulnerability to fae magic and is drugged to do whatever Rhysand wants. It’s not shown as a good thing that he does this — in the first book. In the sequel, everything Rhysand does to her is justified in roundabout, “being roofied and forced to dance for me was actually for your own good” ways and they’re the new couple and he’s completely forgiven, and also somehow a feminist.

I’m not a fan of either Tamlin or Rhysand. Fuck both of them.

But I am a fan of Rook, and not just because his unfamiliarity with humans and fair folk compulsion to be polite even when he’s angry is funny, or because Margaret Rogerson’s writing style is beautiful and makes him beautiful too. I like Rook because his scenes of being in the wrong aren’t romanticized, they’re things he has to grow past, understand were wrong, and apologize for, and when he does it’s the considerate, sweet aspects of him that are romanticized.

Of course it all comes down to taste, and as much as I dislike the AC0TAR series and its leading men, I don’t blame the people who are fans of them. But I love An Enchantment of Ravens and I love how it side-eyes AC0TAR (not just in the ways I talked about, as there’s even more one could say about Isobel asserting her will in ways AC0TAR doesn’t allow Feyre to), and I’m excited for any more books that follow in Enchantment of Ravens’ footsteps. Please. I’m sad that I finished it :(

#fair folk #analyzing fiction #anti acotar #the rambles of an overbooked worm #Abi reads An Enchantment of Ravens

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dent-de-leon · 7 years

Note

What do you think of Joaquim Dos Santos describing Shiro as Keith's "big bro"? (from the same interview where he and Lauren Montgomery explicitly stated k/l wouldn't be canon, around the 3:40 mark) Personally I have a sort of conflicted reading of that, because they don't rule it out (tho they weren't asked either), but it comes across as a pretty nonromantic reading of their relationship, which makes me wonder what they're planning on doing with it in canon.

Honestly? I don’t think it means sheith isn’t gonna happen. Relationships are organic, ever changing and evolving. Just because you used to see a close friend as being like a brother doesn’t mean that feeling can’t grow into something more. When Joaquim say that, the context is “I mean, he’s experienced loss in his life, in his childhood. And Shiro is, I think more so than the other characters is his pillar, is like his big bro. So he felt that loss.” So it’s more so about what Shiro has been to him in the past rather than how he feels looking forward? So again, things can always change.

And what’s interesting is, sheith somehow gets a lot of hate because it’s “disgusting” to interpret sheith as romantic just because of Keith’s “You’re like a brother to me.” But this way of thinking is incredibly transparent:

For one thing, Shiro first says “We’re your family.” We as in, all the paladins. And we get Keith’s brother line in response to it. Clearly, Keith thinks of all of Team Voltron as found family. Given also Hunk’s “we’re brothers” line about all the paladins and how Allura tells Keith she came to think of the paladins as her “new family”–well, on the basis interpreting sheith is “disgusting” then so is kl/ance, ka/llura, sha/llura, han/ce, pla/nce, ect. It’s no reason to rule out sheith and latching onto one line and taking it out of context while refusing to acknowledge all the other paladins’ familiar relationship–again, it’s very transparent

It’s also important to remember that when Keith says the brother line it’s in response to Shiro saying they’re all family. But rather that just agreeing, Keith focuses on his relationship with Shiro. Whatever he feels for Shiro, it’s obvious it goes well beyond his bond with the other paladins (who we know he already views in a familial context

This deeper connection is also decidedly very much not platonic in it’s sense of intensity. There’s a desire and desperation to it that just goes well beyond the bounds of a mutual friendship and feels more like unrequited love. It’s the gravity in the charged atmosphere of things like Keith’s mourning, their reunions, the bedroom scene, ect.

Keith’s desire for Shiro is again something you wouldn’t expect from just a bro. Shiro is the manifestation of his greatest hopes and dreams, the person he “desperately wants to see.” And when Shiro walks away, he tells Keith he’ll be all alone without him. It’s been said that “Keith latches onto Shiro at times because Shiro’s sort of the only thing that can really calm him down and keep him in check,” and “[Keith’s] always scared he’s gonna say or do something wrong and he’s gonna lose Shiro.” You don’t see Pidge “obsess” over Matt or imply that without him she’s all alone, that he’s someone she “latches onto” because he’s the only thing that can center her. You don’t live in fear that your brother’s not going to return your feelings and suddenly get up and leave you. That’s something very characteristic of a one-sided romantic interest.

The romantic aspect of their relationship is further underscored by all the parallels between sheith and zaggar. Those are very much intentional. It’s literally confirmed when Joaquim mentioned that “Keith has this emotional side to him” and Lauren added that “It’s kind of exasperated by the fact that Shiro’s gone. He’s having a hard time dealing with it, he doesn’t really know how to feel. And yeah I think he just goes back to that inner part of himself where it’s just—he can’t control his emotions. And that comes from the galra side.” We see this some singular devotion and intensely passionate feelings in Zarkon’s love for Honerva. She’s even able to calm him the same way Shiro does for Keith (”Honerva has really softened you up old friend.”)

And you know, given that Keith’s literal worst fear is feelings, I’m pretty sure it’s understandable why he’d try not to let his love for Shiro show. Something like that would complicate things and risk their friendship–remember how Josh said he’s always scared that one wrong move would cost him Shiro? Yeah, it’s understandable if he’d keep that to himself. Also, as someone bi, it’s pretty damn common that you’d have feelings for a close friend of the same gender, but then panic and say they’re like a brother or sister instead of confessing. Because you don’t want to risk losing them. I’ve done it before, and so have plenty of other people. It’s normal and I can totally see Keith in a similar position

Lastly, the “you’re like a brother to me” is common in the progression of friends to lovers trope. We see it all the time in straight couples, so I don’t understand why it’s suddenly taboo if you try to apply it to two guys. I promise you you’ve seen this play out in media before. Like:

Consider also–this scene from The Ember Island Players: (given that, you know, both Avatar and Voltron were made by studio mir)

Aang: “Did you really mean what you said in there?…when you said I was just like a brother to you and you didn’t have feelings for me?”

Katara: “I didn’t say that. An actor said that.”

Aang: “But it’s true, isn’t it?”

And don’t forget:

So yeah. Just because a relationship might start out one way doesn’t mean it can’t grow or evolve over time. I wouldn’t worry about it honestly

#sheith #shiro #keith #voltron #meta

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wendynerdwrites · 7 years

Text

500 Elephants

Prompt by @drilling4mana "Against the backdroppe of a worlde gone madde"

I see you, Honey. Enjoy your Discworld AU.

“Get up on the box, Snow!”

Jon fumes. He does that a lot these days. In between bouts of wondering what he’s even doing here, why he came to Summerwood in the first place, and why he’s still here.

Every moment of this is demeaning. He stands out in the hot sun, holding a cheap wooden sword, dressed like an idiot, acting like a fool with exaggerated expressions and motions, for twelve hours a day at least, while people either shout at him to do things or attack him with brushes and sponges to keep him “camera-ready.”

At least with this picture, at least, the “hero” he is playing is not a knight or centurion or some other type of warrior that requires heavy metal armor. That’s agony. In this, he’s a pirate king with a ridiculous name and linen, wool, and leather for his attire.

They produce these so rapidly, sometimes at the same time, with them shooting scenes for one film for two hours, then a costume change to shoot a scene for an entirely different film. Mr. Baelish keeps the audience in by churning them out by the dozens. In the three months Jon’s been a “star”, he honestly has lost count of how many pictures he’s made.

Now they want him to stand on a box for this scene in the seraglio of the evil prince that his dashing pirate hero was to rescue his lady love from.

“Why, though, Marsh?” Jon asks the director. “Aren’t I supposed to be fighting? I can’t do that standing on a box.”

“We’re shooting the big kiss scene right now, and you have to be taller than Sansa.”

Jon cringes. These scenes are always awkward. “But I’m already taller than Sansa!”

Not by much, true. Sansa is the second tallest woman he’s ever met, after Brienne. But the brevity of their height difference was never an issue before.

Marsh sighs, looks from behind the camera, and rolls his eyes. “I know, but Baelish says he wants you even taller. He says this picture is our first color feature and so it has to be more epic than anything we’ve done before. Everything bigger, and that includes you. Also, he doesn’t want people comparing the height difference between you and Sansa to the one between Oberyn and Sansa. He says the hero has to seem as tall as the villain or no one will believe that you’re man enough to fight your way through a world gone mad.”

It doesn’t take Jon even half a second to realize the obvious gaps in logic here. Oberyn is much taller than him, true. And they can put Jon atop as many boxes as they want, but…

“What about when we’re fighting?” Jon asks, “I can’t fight Oberyn properly atop a step stool. How do you intend to hide our height difference when we’re moving around together?”

Marsh groans. “You know, I think the glamor is going to your head, Snow. You didn’t ask so many questions before.”

Glamor. Ha! Jon is still sleeping on the lake shore.

He stares Marsh down coldly, who reluctantly relents. “We’re making boots with lifts in them right now. They’ll be ready tomorrow.”

“But---”

“----Jon, would you just get on the box, please?!”

Everyone turns towards the costuming tent a few yards away.

Emerging from it is Sansa, whose appearance renders Jon speechless before he can think to reply. His co-star is bedecked in a style that Baelish has dubbed “Dornish concubine” (much to Oberyn’s annoyance). It comes with gaudy gold and amethyst jewelry consisting of a collar, arm bands, a circlet, anklets, chandelier earrings, bangles, and a bracelet that Baelish calls a “slave bracelet” and Oberyn angrily insists is called a “Haath Phool”.

Her bosom is practically erupting out of a bustier of midnight and gold brocade that stops just under her breasts and has a line of coins hanging off the underwire. A long, pleated matching skirt hangs low in her hips. Two generous slits crawl up the front so that no matter how she stands, at least one of her long legs peeks out. Indeed, as Sansa marches out in her curly-toed slippers, Jon gets to see the full length of the slits, which go all the way to the coined belt and reveal enough for the costumers to apparently to make Sansa some matching pantalets.

But, for modesty’s sake, she has a veil that still reveals her lush auburn hair that tumbles about her shoulders in gleaming waves.

Her march out brings noise. Her ornate garments jingle like bells with every moment and then there are the onlookers, who wolf-whistle and shout out comments that make Jon’s blood boil. He’s going to kill Baelish. The man has been throwing Sansa into racy outfits since he hired her, but this is beyond anything.

She looks less like the average Dornish woman Jon has met, and more like a brothel girl serving a man with a desert fetish.

Sansa ignores the cheering men, her blue eyes fixed on Jon. She comes up close and pokes his chest. “Listen to me, Targaryen,” she says his real name like it’s an accusation, “I have only so much time I can spend out in this sun, and only so much time I can tolerate this ridiculous costume. I want this scene done quick and without incident, so listen to the man and get on the box.”

Jon sighs and, feeling like a fool, steps atop the small wooden crate.

“Maybe it should be the broad directing instead,” remarks Pyp, one of the grips, “It seems like she’s the one who can get things done. Put her in the jodhpurs and the director’s chair and Marsh here in the skirt.”

“Shut up!” Marsh snaps, clearly embarrassed. He sits back in her chair and glares. “Alright, Snow, you’ve just finished killing off Prince Silvaad’s Fifty Thieves single-handedly to steal back your beloved Princess Esmeralda. After weeks of separation and danger, you two are finally reunited, and you embrace her passionately. Sansa, you were stolen by the thief-prince and have been held captive for weeks. You were hours away from being forced to wed the villain. You’ve heard the fighting outside, but didn’t think too much of it before because you’ve become used to your captor fighting someone. But this time, the fighting has gotten much too close to the harem tent. You’ve bravely ventured out from the tent while your maids cower inside, holding a knife, intending to defend yourself if necessary. But to your shock, it’s not one of the prince’s barbarian rivals raiding the camp, but your long-lost love, the Pirate King Flynn Saber---”

Jon and Sansa exchange an incredulous look. When they first saw the script and saw that name, they’d said, in unison, “Really?!” Baelish truly was amplifying everything with their first color picture, including the ridiculousness of the names. Past characters Jon has played were named things like, “Man Without a Moniker”, “Renaldo Gable”, and “Jack Hawke”. But this name is as swollen and exaggerated as Sansa’s bosom.

Marsh pauses when he sees the look they share. “--- Pirate King Flynn Saber. You thought you’d never see him or home ever again. You are so overcome that you swoon right into his arms. Jon, you catch her and kiss her, dipping her back, the usual fare. Sansa, you come to as he kisses you, and, thrilled, you wrap your arms about his neck and close your eyes again. Got it?”

“Yes, but I wanted to point something out,” Sansa states, “If Jon is supposed to have just finished fighting fifty thieves, shouldn’t he be sweating?”

Marsh groans. “Someone get some water!”

A basin is brought and Sansa dabs him with a soaking cloth across his forehead. It’s actually kind of nice in this heat…

Then she undoes some of the lacings of his tunic, exposing his chest.

“What are you doing?!”

Sansa looks up at him. “If I have to expose everything short of my nipples, then it’s only fair that you show a couple inches of skin.”

She has a point. Jon says nothing. If he’d been told last night that Sansa would be pulling his shirt open, he’d have been thrilled. But this hypothetical past him should have known it would be in this context.

Jon spends a lot of time wondering why he came to Summerwood, and, most of all, why he stays. Then Sansa will walk by and he’ll remember the answer to his second question.

It’s yet another miserable irony of his life that he kisses her on a near-daily basis, but have it be in the least romantic circumstances possible. It’s agony. Still, every time he does kiss her, he finds himself hoping that this time, with this one, he’ll somehow communicate to her that it isn’t fake, that there’s something real.

“Good,” Marsh says critically. “Where’s Sansa’s knife?”

An assistant produces a dagger and takes the water and rag from the actress.

“Excellent. Alright, Sansa, get in the tent. Jon, get your sword out. Let’s get going!”

Sansa ducks under the set tent. Jon pulls the stupid fake blade from its holster and raises it above his head and begins breathing deep.

“Ready! Set! Action!”

Sansa charges out of the tent, fist clenched about the raised blade and a determined look on her face. Jon slowly lowers his sword, angry face softening, eyes widening. Sansa freezes for a moment, drops her knife, and covers her mouth. Jon re-holsters his blade as she staggers towards him. After four steps, she falls toward him, eyelids dropping.

At this point, Jon has caught a swooning Sansa at least a hundred times. She’s swooned in every picture they’ve done, sometimes more than once. She’s an expert at fainting, and Jon’s an expert at catching.

But something is off this time. Jon is used to catching her at his usual height, and there’s something off about Sansa’s movements as well. The act is a bit awkward as a result.

Marsh sees this and calls cut. Sansa groans.

“What was that?” Marsh demands. “You must have done this a hundred times! Sansa, what were you doing with your arms?”

Sansa straightens up, looking disgruntled. “Don’t blame me! It’s this!” She gestures to her bustier. “It already barely fits. If I move my arms too much, I could completely pop out!”

The crew looks over and starts gathering.

“Somebody get Sansa some tape or something!” Marsh shouts. “And Snow, why are you barely catching her?”

“I’m taller on this thing,” Jon says, tapping his toe against the box, “It’s upsetting the angle a bit.”

“Well, practice a bit!”

“Let me tape up first!” Sansa says as the material is brought. She ducks under the tent again. Everyone waits quietly and awkwardly. She eventually emerges, looking disoriented.

“Everything secure?” Marsh inquires in an acidic tone.

“I think so.”

“Okay, practice falling a bit until we’ve got it right.”

Thankfully, it only takes a few tries to get it right. Marsh calls for action again.

But this time, when Sansa falls, the tape and the bustier give way on the right side. Her right breast springs out as she falls. Jon barely manages to grab her in time, positioning his arm to block anything indecent from view. It seems only Jon sees it, thank the gods, as none of the crew reacts and not even Sansa seems to realize until Jon turns her body to face upward. Not wishing to humiliate her, Jon leans down and presses his lips to hers, blocking most of her upper body from view. Sansa’s arms wrap themselves around his neck, but she does something new: tangles her fingers in his dark curls.

“Thank you,” she whispers as their lips begin to part. Their faces remain close and they hold their pose, Jon trying to make sure Sansa doesn’t feel anything going on below his belt, until Marsh calls cut.

When the scene ends, Jon pulls her up so she faces him dead on, her modesty protected by their backs. Sansa hurriedly shoves her breast back into place. Both of them blush as Jon averts his eyes. He couldn’t help looking when he was maneuvering to conceal this… wardrobe malfunction… but he should be a gentleman now.

And what he has seen was glorious. It was only one, but gods… The rosy pink of her nipple against the cream of her skin, then way it seemed to burst free from the fabric, then jiggled as she landed in his arms. As Baelish and Marsh have crudely pointed out, Sansa has “The face of an angel and a body for bedchambers.” The woman looks like one of the paintings on the walls of the temple of the goddess Alohura in his hometown. The sort of perfect woman that Jon thought could only be a god and not a real, living person. Even his old sweetheart, Ygritte, had tangled hair and crooked teeth.

Despite the fact that until recently, Sansa spent half of her off-hours working at the diner to pay her rent, her hair never seemed to snag or tangle. She’d pin it up in a braided knot while waiting tables. Jon had the good fortune a few times to witness her releasing her tresses, and they always tumbled out gracefully, falling and spreading like a red waterfall. The messiest her hair ever got was whenever they had to do a scene where they moved fast, like riding on a horse or a few times when Jon had to hold her as he swung from ropes or vines. And even then, it only got rumpled in that exciting, sultry way.

Indeed, despite the absurd names and costumes and plot and sets and… well… everything… Jon is excited to be shooting a color picture. Thus far, all fans of Sansa Stark had witnessed only some of her beauty. This picture will be the first time they see her hair in color.

“Thank you so much,” she says again, quietly, “I think I’d die of shame if I exposed myself to all these people. And while the camera was rolling! Knowing Baelish, if they captured it, he’d probably have Marsh magnify and duplicate every frame and sell it in little brown envelopes on every corner of King’s Landing. I’d never be able to face anyone back home again. Mother already writes pages of complaints about my attire in her letters. And that’s when I’m not playing a tavern wench or an opera singer or something scandalous like that.”

“I don’t think Marsh got anything. Someone would have reacted. Your… Well, it was facing away from the camera when it came loose, and when you turned I already had my arm in place.”

“So you’re more than just a hero on script, then.”

Jon can’t help his grin. Before he can reply, though, Marsh comes over.

“Look, Kids,” he says, rubbing his forehead, “I just inspected the footage and, well…”

Jon’s blood runs cold. Damn it. He’d failed. Marsh caught a shot.

The director reddens. “Look, I’m not usually one for major compliments, but I have to say that this scene is easily the best you two have done. You really are bringing your A-game to this picture if this scene is any indicator. San, you were even better than usual. And Jon… I barely recognized you. Never have you seemed so genuine before. I saw such true passion, desire, shock, fear, excitement. The way you stared and handled her… You appeared so fired up and stunned, but when you held her, you seemed to move so meticulously, and so protectively, but your eyes were so hungry. Fantastic energy there. I want to incorporate that into everything else. Flynn is all action and passion and roguishness, and he wants Esmeralda desperately, but even so, when he speaks to her, touches her, the roughness melts away and he’s as gentle and tender as a lamb. But, you know, a lamb that wants to get her into bed.”

“Uh, thanks,” Jon replies, purposely avoiding Sansa’s gaze, “I… I’ll try.”

“Marsh, can we see the footage? You know, so we might study the intensity of the performance and keep it going?” Sansa asks in an innocent tone.

The director shrugs. “Be my guest.”

They go over to the reel-viewer and watch it. And, thankfully, Jon is right: Sansa’s breast was not caught on camera.

“He’s right, you know,” Sansa remarks to him, “You really are good here. Maybe I should pop out of my top in every scene, eh?”

Jon goes redder than Sansa’s hair. “I… I…”

“It’s fine, Targaryen.” Now she says his real name like an affectionate nickname. “It’s not your fault. It’s Baelish’s, making me wear this nonsense.”

Jon steps back and purses his lips. At the mention of Baelish, his insides seem to harden. Jon hooks his thumbs at his sword belt and gestures with his head towards the large oak tree twenty yards away. No one was there.

Sansa nods and they head over, well away from earshot.

“Um, Sansa, I know it’s probably none of my business, but… well… I hope you never feel forced to… compromise anything… for Baelish. He’s not an honorable man, and he seems to have a certain fixation with you. And, well, word gets around. Not that I was gossiping, but you can’t help but hear things. If he tries anything---”

“---Jon, have I told you about Lady?”

“Huh? No. Lady Who?”

“Lady. My… dog. She’s a giant wolfhound. Enormous. She’s why I don’t agree to have anyone here walk me home. She runs through the woods all day and heads for the studio gates each night to walk with me. I’ve introduced Baelish to Lady. And he knows that if he doesn’t keep his hands to himself, that he’ll be chased down by an enormous hound and have his Littlefinger bitten off. He done anything more than make some lewd comments and insist on some absurd costumes. And ask me to have dinner with him. He is determined to have me. He likes to think himself a sophisticated gentleman, and wants to charm me, seduce me. Even when I was honest with him about how that will never happen, he didn’t care. He’d just decided to ‘change my mind.’ But he’ll never force anything on me, because he knows the consequences. I’ll admit, though…” Sansa crosses her arms over her exposed ribs.

“Like I said, he won’t listen to me when I tell him it’s hopeless. So I gave up on that. And, well, I figure that if he’s going to try anyways, I might as well use it. I don’t lie to him, or do anything for him, but, well…” She blushes. “I have pretended to warm up to him a bit. It’s why I haven’t refused his costume ideas. He wants to gain some relief and consolation by seeing me parade around in a slave girl costume? Fine. He likes me to stay super pale? Alright, I avoid the sun. He wants me to have at least one fainting spell per flick? No issue. I keep him just happy enough, and now I don’t have to spend half my waking hours at the diner anymore and can get a full night’s sleep. I don’t have to worry about being kicked out of my boarding house for late rent. I got myself a proper tent to change in so that I don’t have half the crew gawking at me. Marsh isn’t allowed to bully me. I eat regularly. I got away with demanding a living wage from the studio, some control over my work, and some protection because I let Baelish drool over pictures of my cleavage whenever he wants. We both know that if he ever tries to stick part of himself inside me, that he’ll lose that part of himself, and many others.”

Jon licks his lips and swallows. “I… I see. But what do you think he’ll do when… if… another man enters your life.”

Sansa snorts. “Oh, he’d completely lose it. But that’s hardly an issue. I don’t have the time or the wherewithal for that sort of thing anyways. I spend nearly every waking hour on set, pretending to swoon.”

“But surely you want---”

“---Ugh, you sound like my mother,” she groans, leaning back against the tree trunk, “Quite frankly, Jon, no, I don’t. At least, not right now. I’ve been given the opportunity to be a star in the most exciting thing to happen on Disceros in centuries. Everyone has been flocking to Summerwood for just a taste of this business. People are clawing at each other for a chance to empty the spitoons in a producers’ office. But we’re at the very center of it all. Even better, we’re on track to becoming essential. A few weeks ago, we could easily be replaced by the hundreds of other pretty young people waiting in the wings. But now? Now we’re not two of many. We’re Jon Snow and Sansa Stark, the stars people pay money to see. Before long, they’ll need us more than we need them, because we’ll be the reason they sell tickets. We’ll be the deciding factors in whether or not their pictures make money. They won’t be able to replace us. They’ll have to fight to keep us from wandering to another studio that offers a better deal. And all that while, we’re going to be among the first legends here. We’re being immortalized. We’ll be able to say we were there way back when. Right now, we’re young and good-looking and energetic. Eventually, we’ll both start to wane a bit, and there will be new stars, yes. But that’s why I intend to focus everything on making sure my star burns the brightest while it’s still hot. That I make my mark and stake some claims, make my fortune so that when the day comes that the audiences tire of me, I can just bow out gracefully, retire in comfort, and get on with my life. Then I can worry about husbands and family if I wish. But if I throw everything into this and play my cards right now, get what I need, I’ll be free to do as I wish forever more. So no, I don’t want to waste time with suitors and romance. I get enough of that faking it with you every day. All I want right now is to rise in this business.”

I’m not faking. But he doesn’t say that. “I see. That seems rather lonely, though.”

“I have Lady. And I have friends. Like you.” She smiles kindly. “I just don’t have a lover. And I don’t mind. I didn’t come here to fall in love.”

Jon’s stomach sinks. “You didn’t?”

“No, I came here for this, just like everyone else.”

“Not everyone. I didn’t come here for this.”

Sansa cocks her head. “Really? What else is there in Summerwood, though? What did you come here for?”

Jon looks at the ground. “I… I don’t know. I just sort of… Set off one day. And I felt this pull. I had to come here. Something was happening.”

“This. This is the thing that is happening.”

Jon shrugs. “Maybe I didn’t come here for something, but for someone.”

“Who?”

“I’m not sure.”

Sansa sighs. “Alright. Well… Lucky you, then. If you don’t have your heart set on this, then the business can’t break it.”

“Other things can, though.”

People can.

“Having fun, you two?”

Jon’s skin crawls at the sound of Baelish’s voice. The producer, green eyes glittering, approaches them, a rolled up piece of paper under his arm.

“Hello, Mr. Baelish,” Sansa says, pretending to be happy to see him. “Beautiful day, isn’t it?”

“Yes, yes… You two having fun making our masterpiece? Having…” He licks his lips. “...Too much fun, perhaps?”

Jon swallows the bile the rushes up from his stomach. “Hardly. We were just discussing this height thing. I have to admit, Baelish, it is throwing us off a bit. We’re used to working on literally a different level.”

Baelish’s eyes narrow. “Snow, you know what I wrote when you came in for your first audition?”

“Can’t sing. Can’t dance. Knows how to use a sword a little.” This man has told him this a thousand times. “But you still took a chance on me. And it’s paid off, hasn’t it?”

“Sansa’s carrying you.”

“And I’m carrying her. Literally, sometimes. But that’s why the box thing is so difficult.”

Baelish rolls his eyes. “Whatever.” He starts unrolling the paper. “I just thought maybe you’d like to see the poster.”

“Poster? But we’ve only shot two scenes!” Sansa cries out.

“So?” Baelish turns the unrolled paper.

Jon wants to tip it to shreds. At least a third of the damn thing consists of Sansa’s bosom as she contorts her back. Jon’s face, in contrast, is barely visible.

SIEGE OF THE SERAGLIO FOR THE FIRST TIME IN FULL COLOR A PIRATE! A PRINCESS! 500 ELEPHANTS! SEARCHING FOR EACH OTHER AGAINST THE BACKDROPPE OF A WORLDE GONNE MADDE!

“We’re trying to find five hundred elephants as well?” Sansa inquires in a tone of false innocence. Jon has to choke back a laugh.

“No! That’s just to draw in the audience! You couldn’t possibly think---” He looks at the poster again. “Damn it!”

“And where are you going to get five hundred elephants, anyways?” Jon asks. Knowing Baelish, the man probably just planned on gluing a trunk and ears onto a gerbil.

“We’re getting one elephant, and just showing it run past over and over,” Baelish retorts, “It’ll be almost as big a hassle as getting those lifts put in your shoes.”

“That doesn’t---”

Baelish has already spun around and is marching away. The two actors exchange looks.

“Why does every picture of his have to be ‘against a backdrop of a world gone mad’?”

“Because he has to convince himself that it’s the world that’s crazy, not him.”

Jon snickers, then sighs. “Are you sure this is worth it, Sansa?”

She bristles. “At least I’m not doing it for nothing!”

Jon smiles at her sass. “Oh, I’m not doing it for nothing, Love, I assure you.”

#jonsa #jon x sansa #actuallyjonsa #discworld au #moving pictures #prompt fill

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drink-n-watch · 4 years

Text

Are you a loyal anime fan? Do you stand by those shows which have brought you joy?

Lately, I’ve read a few think pieces on how people’s preconceptions can colour our enjoyment of a show. How going into an anime with preconceived notions or expectations based on other people’s experiences, inevitably affects what we end up getting out of our watching experience. But what about the reverse case scenario.

it’s a reverse harem!

Have you ever stumbled across a title you’d never heard of before and thoroughly enjoyed, only to discover that your hidden gem is widely reviled by the anime community? Do you remain faithful to your new love or do you disavow it? Are you suddenly ashamed to admit you enjoyed the show? Do you go as far as downgrading it in your own mind, admitting to yourself that is was indeed riddled with flaws, or do you feel compelled to defend it against accusations you don’t really believe are true?

What if you thought a title was really so-so but endlessly see it described as a classic, a masterpiece, an undeniable work of art? Do you pretend to like it? Do you add it to your top 10 lists just to fit in? Do you avoid giving any opinion or at least try to soften the blow with excuses like: “I was really young when I saw that”?

I know I do.

It’s stupid of course. I end up getting nonsense recommendations for new shows because it’s based on skewed data. Or I find myself sitting through movies or shows I know I won’t enjoy because I somehow didn’t manage to scrape together the microscopic amount of courage required to admit that I don’t like a particular director or studio. On the flip side, I also can’t gush over whatever silly, stupid little show is making me super happy at the moment because I’m afraid people will judge me. Despite the fact that I know no one cares about my anime tastes, at least not enough to actually have them affect their opinion of me.

yes, yes tell me more of this awnimou you like so much – everyone I know

I want to watch shows I like – and I want those types of shows to get made, but people won’t know that unless I tell them. So? Well…As my own feeble attempt at some kind of earnestness, I give you my top 9 animes I’m either ashamed of liking or embarrassed of not getting. Let’s all celebrate our lack of good taste together!

In random order:

😊 The Royal Tutor

I’m not as stupid as I look. I realize this show is just a lighthearted excuse to bring together a flock of beautifully drawn bishies and cash in on the hormonal audience ready to devour it. The animation is minimal, the historic setting is laughable and characters and storyline are all more or less surface level but that’s not what this show was for… It’s paced well, the easy humour may be uninspired but it’s familiar and comforting. What it did do, it did well. The pretty pretty characters are super likeable for all their lack of developments and by golly I would watch another season the second it came out. I would leave work early and everything.

☹ Sakamoto desu ka

When this show came out there was so much hype, even I heard of it. This was recommended to me by just about everybody – the one friend that watches anime, blogs, youtubers even MAL. Everyone told me that this is comedy gold – one of the most hilarious shows to come out in recent years and well, I didn’t get it… My sense of humour is important to me, it’s the one quality I’m actually proud of. I am quick with a laugh and need very little to find the funny in a situation and although Sakamoto wasn’t bad I just didn’t find it that funny and ended up dropping it after 6 episodes or so. I’m very worried that I’m growing dull.

😊 Black Butler II

Black butler, in all its iterations, has long been a guilty pleasure of mine. I am honestly ashamed of liking this show so much. It’s just sooooo emo and gothicky and teenage angsty and I love all of it. At least it’s fairly popular except I’m a black sheep even among Black Butler fans because my clear favourite is season 2. Most fans will stop talking to me at this point, I understand. But, I adore Alois, I think he’s the perfect embodiment of the cheesy gaudy charm that BB brings to the table and the sarcastic ending was the best. Soo yeah – I’m a lost cause.

☹ My Teen Romantic Comedy SNAFU

People love this show, I see artwork from it all over the place and I will admit it’s quite pretty. It also has the word SNAFU in the title which is automatic extra points in my book. But everything else never resonated with me. The comedy fell flat, the drama felt fabricated the pace was off and the characters were irrational. I fluctuated between bored and depressed throughout most of it yet still felt the need to watch both seasons, waiting for it to finally pick up. It did not. I did like the orange haired girl’s front cross strap bra thingy….

😊 Alien 9

OK – I can’t explain this one. It’s a mess of a show but I lurve it so much. One of the few series I’ve both watched and read and reread. I could defend it to you guys. The intriguing parasitic/symbiotic alien aspect with a sort of magical girl deconstruction feel. The jarring violence and real suspense but in all honestly even those high points aren’t fully realized. I can’t tell you why it’s better than people think it is but it is. I’m going to go watch it right now.

☹ Azumanga Daioh

I like the Slice of Life and Comedy genres quite a lot (although looking at this list, maybe I don’t?) and Azumanga Daioh is considered by many, a classic. The intro should be! It has its moments to be sure but I just didn’t find it that funny. That aside, what really put me off was the use of a teacher’s predatory and continual sexual harassment of students as a running gag. The show treats it as cute and funny that an adult teacher is clearly trying to grope or see his students naked all the time. I’m afraid that I’m being a stick in the mud or that I somehow missed the distinction between ridiculing bad behaviour rather than humanizing it, but it always skived me out and I just couldn’t shake the feeling. Apparently, I’m the only one who has a problem with this. This scene always made me laugh though:

youtube

😊 Cheer Boys!!

I’ve written a post about this unsubtle cash grab of a show and how I can’t seem to hate it. In fact I’ll just say it, I really like it. It’s indefensible so I won’t even try to but sometimes we just want empty calories. This show won’t bring anything new. There are so many better sports animes out there and you should watch them all before this one. But once you’re done with all the “good” shows….

☹ Spirited Away

Yes, yes, I know – Ghibli, yes genius, yes Myazaki, yes I think he’s really hot, yes this movie is brimming with wonder and charm… I can see the quality but, I mean, so what? Do I remember anything about Chihiro as a person? About any character at all? I don’t, they just didn’t leave a mark on me. I can clearly see the images of what people and things looked like but they have no personalities beyond that for me. I would show this to a small child or an animation student who wants to admire the technical know-how and maybe I should rewatch it. I just didn’t find in it the depth or meaning of earlier titles like Mononoke or the graceful ache of Totoro and I would write more except I don’t remember anything about it…

😊 Cute High Earth Defense Club Love!

Let’s end it on a happy note. Eminareviews named this as the anime she was embarrassed of liking and it suddenly dawned on me that maybe I should be embarrassed too. Sure, the jokes are super easy and the premise is paper thin but what can I tell you guys, this show had me smiling from start to finish. I realize that given the fact that Shinji Takamatsu (of Daily Lives of High School Boys and Gintama fame) was behind this, expectations may have been sky high for some and disappointment was inevitable. I also see that the writers went for some low hanging fruit here, and that they would have been capable of much subtler and more cutting humor but just because it’s a little lazy doesn’t mean it’s not funny. Season 2, now that was not funny….

This is one of the disadvantages of wine: it makes a man mistake words for thought

Suggested drink: Confidence Builder, alternatively you can throw it in the other person’s face but that would be such a waste…

Every time someone tells you your favorite anime is derivative – drink

Every time some says “I use to like that show before I knew more about anime” – drink

Every time someone gets real nitpicky about an unimportant aspect of your favourite show, like the color palette for example – drink

Every time someone says you should what X instead – it’s so much better – drink

Every time someone tells you, you’ll get it when you learn a bit about… – drink

Every time someone tells you the manga was better – drink

Every time someone says, well I’m more into story driven narratives – drink

Every time someone tells you it’s a poor man’s version of… – drink

Every time someone accuses your show of being cliché – drink

Every time someone accuses your show of being pretentious – drink

Every time someone says aren’t cartoons for children? – go home

Anime confessions Are you a loyal anime fan? Do you stand by those shows which have brought you joy?

#Alien 9 #anime #Azumanga Daioh #Bad idea #Black Butler #cheer boys #Cute High Earth Defense Club Love!#Essays #Guilty pleasure #Lists #sakamoto #snafu #spirited away #The Royal Tutor

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phantomthiefjeanne · 7 years

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Hey, I saw your blog with the pic of Jeanne from the Manga Kamikaze Kaito Jeanne. :) And i just finished (the third Time 🙈) the Manga and i wanted to ask for your Option. If you don't want because it's for you a long time since you read them it's okay 😊🙈 if it doesn't bother you here my question 😄 In the last Chapter we see noyn (which i really really like him) with silk and that he said he will wait for the next reborn of Maron. Part one

Part 2 So what do you think how would he use the time? I mean is he teaching in the old school for years as teacher and then stop because he doesn’t age and take an other identity to come back or do you believe he travels with silk. I also stand in chapter 22 in arina comments that noyn and silk (in his human body) have a relationship like yaoi. I was surprised because i thought he loves Jeanne (Woman) and not both man and women. 🙈

Part 3 Sorry i didn’t plan to write so much. I just had to ask you. 🙈🙈😊 and i now a Crazy question

Hey! First of all, I’d like to preface this with an apology for answering so late. I’ve been mostly off tumblr because of school and then piano stuff and then gearing up for university, but hopefully I’m not too late!

Ok, so for Noin…I gotta start by saying that I’m not the biggest fan of his ultimate trajectory in the manga (full disclosure: I’m not the biggest fan of his character to begin with, so that bias might colour this response). Of all the changes and resulting tonal/themic shifts the anime didn’t land (Finn’s brainwashing for example), I think Noin’s arc there was handled better than in the manga the constraints of tv also removed the horrifying assault scene among other things. so I mean, staying with the lost love he should’ve long gotten over by then might not have been the best ending when letting go might be the better option, but it was better than deciding to continue to pursue said lost love’s underage reincarnation years in the future even after having assaulted her, lemme tell you.

And with all that, as cool as the timeloop concept objectively is with Noin being the one to infect himself with a demon in the first place, I wish Arina hadn’t gone down that route because it left him with not only a bad ending, but one that didn’t really exist. It didn’t serve a purpose thematically, and it didn’t serve the story, either. His only notable appearance after the time travel arc is showing up to swoop in on Maron when she thought Chiaki was rejecting her. Despite being quite powerful, he’s not a player in the final battles and is barely mentioned in the main story afterwards.

A better resolution imo would be 1) having him succeed in making sure he never became a demon knight in the first place, then 2) having him find out that Jeanne wasn’t actually saved, 3) having him deal with the tragedy of that again, but this time 4) finally making peace with it and fading away to allow his human self to live on in the past and continue the good fight in Jeanne’s memory (operating under the time paradox theory that a new universe has been created or something, so that demonknight!Noin’s impact on the future could be preserved. or not preserved. he never really did that much for the main storyline and even Zen’s sideplot could have functioned without him oops). Is that too idealistic and even forgiving of a redemption for him? maybe, but hey, at least this resolution doesn’t involve forgiving the man for trying to assault someone, congratulating him for not repeating the deed and saying it’s ok because “he wasn’t going to go through with it was he”, allowing his obsession with a teenaged girl to continue because apparently that kind of persistency is romantic, and calling that a “redemption arc”! haha! because that would never be the canonical alternative!

cries

In any case, to answer your question, I’d like to think that Noin spent the years after the Devil’s defeat continuing to be a teacher. We never really saw his teaching in action in the manga, but maybe he’s good at it, maybe those extra years spent on Earth has given him special insight on the subject he teaches, history, and the languages he’s accumulated (because asides from French and Japanese, he could’ve easily learned more) get to finally be put to use after his years of recluse. Maybe he finally gets a hobby now that the devil is gone. For all the art thievery in this series, there’s no actual artist character, so maybe he can be that.

I also really like your idea that he goes on to travel with Silk, after some time passes and his unfading youth is starting to look more and more suspicious, and his chances with Maron seem to get slimmer and slimmer as she and Chiaki progress in their old-married-couple-life. We don’t have much insight on how Noin spent his life while waiting for Maron’s birth (just that he somehow watched her grow up from afar?) but since he’s still immortal he can fill in the blanks on some of the things he didn’t get to do, places he didn’t get to visit while under Satan’s command. Will he learn to let Maron go? Who knows. It’s not even a sure thing that she’ll be reincarnated afterwards, and I’ve always liked the ambiguity of that. Without as potent of power since giving Eve’s powers to Finn, maybe her reincarnations’ll be harder to track down, and what starts as a quest to finding that reincarnated soul more or less ends with Noin finding HIMSELF on his travels. Maybe the real Maron was the friends he made along the way, amiright?

Maybe without the Devil around, Noin’s immortality won’t last? I like the thought of that, because like I said, I think he deserves a finite end at some point. His fatal flaw’s always been the inability to let go, and somehow he’s never really punished for it. Giving up his life or at least his immortality to save someone or do something, now that would be a grand gesture for a man this persistent, grander than his “time travel and possess your past self with a demon so that you can wait for a girl to be born in 500 years” imo.

I don’t know if I like the idea of Noin and Silk together romantically because power unbalance and other unhealthiness aside, Noin was Silk’s creator and Silk is supposed to look like a little kid (Zen, specifically) in his human form, making for an age difference and something akin to a parental relationship as far as physical appearances go as well. But I mean, if Noin softens up in the future and becomes kinder I guess it could work out? To clarify, though, Arina actually states in the volume 22 free speech that Noin and Silk are platonic, mentioning the yaoi genre only to say that she wasn’t herself a fan of the genre but she didn’t mind people who were, and that Silk and Noin didn’t fit under that sort of relationship. (At least, that’s what it says in my copy of volume 5; I have the CMX English edition. Where did you read that part? I’m wondering how if there’s been a mistranslation) Of course, you can have queer representation without being put under that label uh in fact please do. Noin can very well be attracted to both Jeanne/Maron and Silk, though! I can hc him being pan very easily. I don’t think sexual orientation really adds to or detracts anything from his character–I’m just not too sure that he’s great representation considering his villainy.

And now it’s totally my turn to apologize for writing this much, haha

#fsc replies #kkj #kamikaze kaito jeanne #phantom thief jeanne #kamikaze kaitou jeanne #noin claude #rape /#it is HARD to objectively discuss Noin because you can't really see past his actions #and really you shouldn't #he did a horrible thing #hopefully the above wasn't excusing him from it #pretty-girl-rock-3 #assault /

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love-elizabeth-the-3rd-blog · 7 years

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Mc’s kitty adventures part 6

Previously: Mc managed to escape the clutches of seven and, still being in Elizabeth’s body, traveled to try and return to Rika’s apartment. But due to the long distance and the heat, decided to seek shelter in an Entertainment hall, which so happens to be where Zen is doing rehearsals. Mc finds out while hiding out in the dressing room that Zen’s co-star, a diva, has insincere intentions towards him for her own gain.

Now: Learning this new information, Mc tries to help out Zen while trying to not be spotted

Mc watched as the woman left to return to the stage, still shocked at what the woman had said about her co-stars and about Zen, Mc’s hair stood on end when she remembered how the woman shamelessly wanted to hook up with Zen to further her own career and just for his looks, thinking it would match hers perfectly since she seemed to be quite narcissistic herself.

Mc was perched on a wooden beam above the room that also went across the stage, where those bags would usually hang. She walked along the beam and calmly watched the actors prep below her as she did, it was nice and cool in this building compared to the heat outside.

She saw Zen preparing as well as talking a bit to another actor, and then turned her gaze to the woman, who surprisingly was just prepping herself and minding her own business, had she been discouraged?

Mc watched though as the woman side eyed some of the other actors near her judgmentally, with them oblivious, but when one would come up and talk to her she would put on this smile and talk back for a brief bit, but she seemed to not want to be bothered by anyone except Zen.

Was she playing it cool now? by not paying as much attention to him?

Mc wondered as her tail flicked a bit in thought.

“Okay! From the top, we move on to scene two! Minjae, Zen, come to the centre of the stage, we’ll have Zen’s character be tempted by the barista’s body.” The director shouted,

Minjae, so that’s her name, Mc wondered, watching them

Zen and Jin seemed surprised, like this was not how it was originally going to go,

“We’re trying something a bit different, to maybe spice up the scene or so, we’ll see how it goes.” The director stated further, “Take one!” he clapped his hands and the actors got ready.

They did the scene as Zen’s character sat absent mindedly at his table as the barista approached him, noticing that he seemed distracted and forlorn, as he thought of the woman he desires and longs for sadly but cannot seem to have.

The barista, being sympathetic, joked to get his attention, and she slowly does. She has a pleasant conversation with him and then sits down across from him. “What’s wrong~? You seem so lonely~” she asked as she crossed her legs and slightly pulled her skirt up to show more leg, Zen’s character sighed, oblivious to this notion.

“Love can be tough.” Zen stated, a distant look in his eye “You long for someone you cannot have, and yet, spend so much time thinking about them.” He sighed,

the barista nodded for a moment and then got a sly look on her face, a smirk growing and a flirtatious look to him, “Oh, honey, I know that feeling oh too well, even if the person is right in front of me~” she said in an innocent but suggestive tone and turned her body away, earning Zen’s character’s attention.

the barista sighed, her attention focused else where, as she slowly lowered her shoulder strap to show more skin. “Oh how I yearn for his touch, his love~ his lips on mine~” she said in a dreamy voice, Zen’s character’s eyes trailed her shoulder and gulped, tempted.

“Your words perfectly echo how I feel.” he said sadly, “Perhaps we are both just lost souls, yearning to find someone to belong~” he said as he gave a look of longing past her, the barista returned him a sad look,

She looked so helpless, he wanted to comfort her.

Soon, Zen’s character leaned in, as if swept away by the moment, and she leaned in a little herself while maintaining her innocent longing look to his lips.

“And cut!” the director yelled, “Good job!”

Soon Zen and the woman pulled a part, he was still a little stunned and had a flush on his cheeks, but slowly got up, “Sweet acting, handsome~” the woman said, smiling, before walking off.

Zen looked towards her, before Jin smacked him on the shoulder, getting his attention back.

“Man, nice! That seemed so real bro, tell me man, were you thinking of the broad you got feelings for that I have yet to know about?” Jin joked, grinning at him.

Zen looked annoyed at first but then softened, “I’d be lying if I said no, I guess it really helps me relate to the loneliness of this character, I wish I could get her attention.” Zen muttered more to himself, Jin snickered “Hey, I knew it, but how is there a girl the great Zen can’t get?” he joked, Zen sighed “I know, it all just puzzles me, I mean look at me.” and there he goes again.

Soon afterwards, Minjae came over to Zen as if to just get something and chatted to him for a bit, “So~ Zen, those words you said during the scene, I know you are a great actor, but those seemed genuine~” She said as she drank some water, Zen looked at her, a bit surprised that she noticed

“If she doesn’t return those feelings, it’s her loss, how can she turn down a guy that looks like you? So handsome~” she said and smirked,

Zen seemed to feel better at those words, and thought maybe he wasn’t fair to Minjae before, maybe she’s more than just making advances, maybe he could get feelings for this woman?

What Jin said did make sense, it was easier to date another actor since they both understand what it’s like to not always have time, and... he didn’t know if Mc even liked him or not, and yet, his heart still persisted to hold onto her.

As Zen was beginning to grow interest in this woman, she added “I mean what else do you need?” noticing that he seemed to becoming under her spell, but those words despite feeding his pride also dissapointed him, it shot any feelings he began to have for her out of the sky.

I mean what else do you need?

those words repeated to him in his head, of course, he knew he was handsome and that should of swayed Mc on it’s own, but somehow hearing someone actually say it was kind of hurtful.

After all, they’re just looks. Lots of women fell for his looks, and he wondered if that’s why he never really got any feelings for any of them, because that affection was shallow at best.

He wanted someone to see through that, to see him as him, not as an actor or someone who is handsome, but he truly wanted to connect with someone, he longed for that kind of love, the genuine kind.

He honestly began to think he won’t find such a thing in the field he is in, after all, movie roles can be all about looks and they seem to prioritize that, and even though he loves acting, he has noticed this unfortunate side, especially on the poor girls. He’s had to comfort a few due to directors shouting cruel words to them and their bodies.

So often, when women did come to flirt with him, he becomes flattered but in the end it never really grabs his heart. And yet, with the new stranger in RFA, he couldn’t help but be excited, it was someone new who possibly knew of him or not but, RFA was like his secret place where he could express himself unlike anywhere else, not even on stage and definitely not his social media pages, he always had a reputation to keep.

So RFA was his own person space in a way, and he could share that with her, not only that, but he noticed how warm and kind she was as she interacted with anyone, she never seemed to put too much attention on Zen’s looks or onto Jumin’s wealth either, it was like she treated them as both human despite their statuses, with Zen being a gift from God and Jumin being... with a silver spoon.

So as the days went on in the chat, even though she chatted to him platonically, he couldn’t help but fall for her more and more. She was the kind of person he would never come across in his busy line of work, so she was almost like a gift or rare encounter, and he sometimes wondered that her odd entrance was fate trying to get them together.

Oh there he goes again, he shook his head, he really was a romantic. He was brought out of his thoughts as Minjae stroked his arm, almost purring as she said that she’ll always be here and keen for him, and be better than whoever the girl he was hung up on was.

Mc meanwhile saw all of this on top of the beam, and after noticing Zen seem to be caught up with her words, she began to think that maybe Zen would prefer this woman over her. No wait, mc, what are you saying? This woman is evil! Why do you feel this way? her heart had warmed when she heard how Zen thought of her, and it ached seeing him not too be reluctant to this woman’s touch.

....

Either way, she had to make sure that Zen stays away from her, somehow.

Mc made her way to the dressing room and after thinking a bit, decided to try and find proof of this woman’s insincere intentions.

Though she felt reluctant as she didn’t want to hurt Zen in the process, so... maybe she should just sabotage? Yes.

Mc hopped down clumsily trying not get the attention of the actors outside, she looked around to make sure the coast is clear and that no one was coming, then went and dug in Minjae’s purse. As she dug finding the usual belongings a woman would have, she came across what seemed to be some of Zen’s things??

Wtf, okay. Mc then grabbed the woman’s phone and tried to search through it, she has herself as the wallpaper, typical.

Mc, out of the sake of the moment, did the most disgusting thing she has ever done in her entire life. She started hacking up a bit, and then spat up a hairball into the bag, the experience was... something she will prefer to never remember.

Mc jumped as she heard footsteps coming in, specifically high heels, and she knew who those belonged to. Mc quickly ducked out onto the stage area and quickly hiding under the long curtain that hangs all the way from the ceiling. She could see the actors clearly and see just how big they are compared to her, hopefully no one spots her here.

Meanwhile as Minjae walked into the dressing room, she didn’t notice the white cat quickly slip away as she was too lost in thought on how to get Zen. She started scheming since zen rejected her advances once again, and she decided to take it up a notch. If she wasn't his type then she will become his type, by finding out what he likes, or if she could black mail him, either is good.

As she thought, she glanced to his table and saw his phone,

hmm perfect.

She looked around making sure no one would see what she’s about to do, then made her way to it, picking it up and unlocking it.

A smirk grew on her face as she began to snoop through it, most of his phone contained reminders of meetings he had with directors, times for the rehearsals, his gallery filled with lots of selfies for himself, notes on his acting and how he has observed the character his playing and where he could better practice and research somethings and then... a messenger app.

She’s never seen such an app before, only knowing of whatsapp, but she wasn't really too into the tech stuff, so it didn't surprise her that she didn’t know of this.

Let’s see what Zen and the boys talk about shall we? I’m sure they’ve mentioned me, she thought to herself, and then went to open the messenger.

Yoosung was online

Yoosung: Oh hey Zen!

Zen: Hey... you

Yoosung: ???

Yoosung: Are you okay?

Zen: Yes yes, I am just taking a break from rehearsals

Yoosung: Oh yeah? How did it go?

Zen: I was great as always, did I mention I have a stunning co star?

Yoosung: No??

Yoosung: shock emoji

Zen: Oh, so I didn’t mention it..

Yoosung: Nope

Yoosung: I’m so worried about Mc, she hasn’t been on for so long now! Even you haven’t mentioned rehearsals until now since then

Mc? Oh, so maybe that’s why he didn’t mention me then? and he was so distracted today, is she the girl he so called likes?

Zen: Yes.. Mc..

Zen: Do you think she... left?

Yoosung: huh? No way, even you were saying strongly that she didn’t. You were going to check on her, but couldn’t.

Zen: Right.

Zen: Well, if she cared she would at least not make us worry so much, luckily I have someone who will be better suited for me.

Zen: Toodles!

-Zen left the chat room-

Yoosung: ... Toodles?

Yoosung: wtf emoji

Mc meanwhile, stayed under the curtain, watching everyone and even the directors, suddenly she heard footsteps near her but didn’t notice the person lean down.

“Huh? What do we have here?”

She suddenly heard someone say close to her ear shot, she turned and looked to see Jin kneeling down, practically on the floor looking at her with a thoughtful expression.

Her eyes widened as she felt she was busted, but Jin just smirked “Well aren’t you a beautiful cat? Taking shelter from the hot day?” he grinned and reached his hand out to her, which she eyed warily for a minute before turning her attention on him again, he was close enough to give her a quick scratch under the chin, causing her to purr.

That affection felt... nice, he chuckled when she purred, “So cute~ I want to keep you, but, I can’t let anyone know you’re here, otherwise you’d have to leave because of Zen’s allergies.” he spoke in a hush tone, looking to the others.

“Don’t worry, I’ll keep you being here a secret~” he winked and put a finger over his mouth, Elizabeth looked at him curiously “meerw” she quietly responded as a thank you of sorts, wow, she hasn’t meowed in ages.

Jin got up and then returned to the others, just then Minjae walked out looking triumphed as ever for some reason, that can’t be good. Mc snuck out and quickly made her way near the dressing room and peeked out where the directors were, and she saw Minjae talking to the director

“I think the scene would be a lot better if mine and Zen’s character make out passionately-” she was suggesting to the director, who just nodded “And I’m talking about a very heated scene that conveys the clear chemistry between us- I mean, the characters.” she went on to describe, more revealing clothes, more touching. “This is not a porno, Minjae, but I like your suggestion. Alright, we’ll do the scene.”

After that Mc watched as Minjae returned to the stage and walked over to Zen, talking to him, flirting with him. This isn’t good.

“So Zen~ may I talk to you for a moment?” She asked innocently, “Yeah, sure.” he gave her his attention, she looked somewhere else and kind of sheepishly shifted a bit.

“So, I have noticed the past couple of days you seemed a bit... troubled.” she stated, earning a surprised expression from him, was it that obvious. “I don’t know if it’s got to do with the girl that you long for, but, just so you know that I’m here if you need someone to talk to. I know it can be, difficult, these things” she elaborated a bit then looked him in the eye, “I hope you feel at ease soon, alright?” She smiled.

Zen looked at her, a bit surprised for a moment that she somehow knew what was going on with him and cleared his throat “Uh, thank you, Minjae, I really appreciate it.” he smiled a bit to her, but still looked a bit flustered and confused at how obvious he must have been.

“If you want~ we could get some, gold fish shaped bread afterwards if you want~?” she suggested, a little glint in her eye when she said it, this was going to be cake.

“Huh? You like those? Well...” he hesitated for a moment, he wanted to do that with mc to be honest, he felt a bit bad if he did it with someone else but, “Yeah, sure.” he smiled, Minjae was just being nice after all.

“Great!” she gleamed, internally celebrating, oh he was going to be hers real soon

“Alright, we’ll move on to the next scene! This time, we’ll have Zen’s character and the barista become more involved with each other, this is going to be a make out scene, I want to see a lot of passion!” the director instructed.

“Are you high Mr director san-”

“Watch your mouth, Jin.” the director said sternly

Zen, meanwhile, looked shocked, why was that necessary??

“Come on! Be professional and take it from the top, okay? Scene 3, take one, action!”

“Don’t worry Zen~” Minjae said as she walked up closer to him, “I know this seems over the top, I’m sorry if you’re uncomfortable.” she said in a false meek tone, “I’ll try and make sure that the one take will be all that’s needed.” she smiled.

Zen’s shocked facial features softened a bit, “No, don’t worry, a pretty lady like you won’t make me uncomfortable. I hope you are alright with this? I was just, caught off guard.” he smiled, after all, he is professional. “Who knows~? Maybe you’ll like it~” She winked and smirked

“Alright, everyone get ready, Scene 3, take 1, action!”

Minjae walked close to Zen, swaying her hips as she did. “If you cannot be with the one you love, then turn all your love to me, is that not what you want? To love, and to feel love back?” She interlocked her hands behind his neck and pulled Zen closer, “You must be so frustrated, just as I am, we are beings mean’t to share love. So if we cannot share with them, why not with each other?” She leaned up as she brought her face closer to his, her character desperate and longing.

“Kiss me.” she said in a hushed voice, Zen closed his eyes and leaned forward,

As the two were about to kiss, suddenly something heavy landed on Minjae’s head, causing her to pull away and Zen as well. It was Elizabeth, she accidentally fell from the beam above them trying to figure out a way to stop the scene.

There was a big moment of silence from everyone with what just happened.

“Aargh!! What the-” Minjae began to yell

“-And, cut! That’s perfect! Much better plot twist.” the director said, chuffed as he got out his seat.

Mc was frozen where she was, freaked out until she heard roaring laughter from Jin.

Zen let out a violent sneeze that echoed throughout the hall. He sniffled and sneezed again, eventually collecting himself until he recognized Elizabeth, “FURBALL??” he shouted in disbelief, his eyes wide before he sneezed again.

“Get it off! Get it off!” Minjae screamed waving her hands, and Mc wasted no time to comply and jump off of her head, darting away from them.

“Oi! Now get the cat out of here! We don’t need our star’s face acting up now.” the director shouted, rubbing his temples.

“Alright boss!”

Mc’s heart raced till she saw Jin approach her and pick her up.

“Ugh, I can’t believe this, I have to go fix my hair!” Minjae yelled and stomped off to the dressing room, Jin smirking at her as he pet Elizabeth.

After Zen got a bit of distance from Elizabeth and Jin, his sneezing fits lessened a bit, but that silence was short lasted.

Suddenly a scream could be heard, disrupting everything, everyone looked towards the dressing room as Minjae walked out with her bag, “That thing just spat a hair ball in my bag!” She emptied it out on the stage in a fit, with all her belongings falling out including the hairball, Jin noticed something, “Hey, isn’t that Zen’s?” He asked as he looked at said belongings.

Zen looked at her oddly between sneezes, her face went beet read, “N-No, I just..” she couldn’t come up with an excuse, she stomped angrily and pointed out at the cat “Aren’t we forgetting the important topic at hand here? That cat spat out a furball in my bag!” she pointed at Mc in Jin’s arms, whose tail flicked at her, “No, Munajie, stealing is a criminal offense and we take that seriously here.” the director said sternly at her, honestly he didn’t care for cats or divas but stealing was definitely prohibited. “You’ll need to come to the office so we can talk.” He stated, and she let out a whine.

#mystic messenger #zen #elizabeth the 3rd #mcs kitty adventures

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