#because i'm that bitch | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

Visit Blog

Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.

Fun Fact

Users from the US are the majority of Tumblr visitors.

#because i'm that bitch

sweaterkittensahoy · 9 months

Text

I brought beautiful Cobasi yarn by Hikoo for a tunisian project I have realized I have no interest in actually making (tunisian ain't for me).

But guess what requires fingering weight yarn?

...and a 1mm hook?

Let's goooooo.

#crochet #wip #vintage crochet #30s fashion #1930s fashion #the frilly bits will be in a different color #because i'm that bitch #evening gown #crochetblr

18 notes · View notes

shesnake · 3 months

Text

you need to answer "smash or pass" polls as if you're bisexual even if you're not bisexual otherwise what's the point!!!!

#'pass because I'm gay' BITCH THAT'S STEWY HOSSEINIIIIII #d

6K notes · View notes

myiliterallyhavenolifegoals · 6 months

Text

i'm unwell!!! because in stede's eyes, ned low was right!! ned says "he [ed] only likes you because of your bumbling amateur status" and calls stede blackbeard's "pet" just like izzy did in series 1

so stede steps up as a captain, kills the man who harmed his crew, and suddenly, for once in stede's life, he isn't a joke! the gentleman pirate is taken seriously and welcomed into the pirate community!

and what happens less than 24 hours later? ed calls their night together a mistake, AND LEAVES.

yes, obviously the situation is more nuanced, and these old men are once again struggling to communicate, but i 100% understand why stede went a bit of the rails at the end of episode 7. stede's been so focused on trying to help ed, that he's completely ignored his own ongoing identity crisis and trauma, and after the incident at the academy in series 1, this meltdown was long overdue.

#yes he's being a bitch but it's IN CHARACTER #just because you don't agree with his actions doesn't make it bad writing guys c'mon it's good omens 2 all over again #ofmd #ofmd s2 spoilers #our flag means death #stede bonnet #ed x stede #rhys darby #i'm a stede apologist first and a homie second i'm sorry lmaoo #i got so excited when i saw the flashback to him as a little boy bc finally!!! stede's trauma gets to be addressed!!!#edit: HE SLEPT WITH ED TO TAKE THE POISON AND TURN IT INTO POSITIVITY WAIT A SECOND WAIT A FUCKING SECOND

3K notes · View notes

vaguely-concerned · 2 months

Text

one of my favorite garak mannerisms is whenever someone says something to him he clearly finds completely wild and his eyes briefly widen like

before he reacts properly. when someone tells you something SO fucking stupid that you momentarily turn into a muppet

#elim garak #star trek #star trek ds9 #ds9 #it's why he has to throw people off by presenting too much and conflicting information rather than pure poker face #because for all his training I'm not sure he's physically capable of controlling this reaction whenever dukat opens his mouth #the bitch reflex that cannot be tamed #it's that and the sort of unhinged laughter he'll get startled into sometimes. just. so much. makes my brain go 'fhdskjfsha'

2K notes · View notes

confessedlyfannish · 24 days

Text

Writing Prompt #12

Bruce is reading the paper when the pour of Tim's coffee goes abruptly quiet. It would be hard to pinpoint why this is disturbing if it wasn't for the way the soft, tinny sound the vent system in the manor makes cuts out for the first time since being updated in the 90s. The pour, Bruce realizes, has not slowed to a trickle before stopping. It has simply stopped. And there is no overeager clack of a the mug against the marble counter or the uncouth first slurp (nor muttered apology at Alfred's scolding look) immediately following the end of the pour.

Bruce fights the instinct to use all of his senses to investigate, and instead keeps his eyes on the byline of the article detailing the latest set of microearthquakes to hit the midwest in the last week. Microearthquakes aren't an unusual occurrence and aren't noticeable by human standards, which is why this article is regulated to page seven, but from several hundred a day worldwide to several hundred a day solely in the East North Central States, seismologists are baffled.

Bruce had been considering sending Superman to investigate under the guise of a Daily Planet article requested by Bruce Wayne (Wayne Industries does have an offshoot factory in the area) when everything had stopped twenty seconds ago. That is what he assumes has happened (having not moved a muscle to confirm) in the amount of time he assumes has passed. His million dollar Rolex does not quite audibly tick but in the absolute silence it should be heard, which confirms the silence to be exactly that—absolute.

While Bruce can hold his breath with the best of the Olympian swimmers, he has never accounted for a need to remain without blinking without being able to move one's eyes. Rotating the eyeballs will maintain lubrication such that one could go without blinking for up to ten minutes. But staring at the byline fixedly, he estimates another twenty seconds before tears start to form.

These are the thoughts Bruce distracts himself with, because he doesn't dare consider how Tim and Alfred haven't made a (living) sound in the past forty-five seconds. About Damian, packing his bag upstairs for school after a morning walk with Titus that was "just pushing it, Master Damian".

There is a knife to his right, if memory serves (it does). In the next five seconds—

"Your wards and guardian are fine, Mr. Wayne," the deepest voice Bruce has ever heard intones. For a dizzying moment, it is hard to pinpoint the location of the voice, for it comes from everywhere—like the chiming of a clocktower whilst inside the tower, so overpowering he is cocooned in its volume.

But it is not spoken loudly, just calmly, and when he puts the paper down, folds it, and looks to his right, a blue man sits in Dick's chair.

He wears a three piece suit made entirely of hues of violet, tie included. He has a black brooch in the shape of a cogwheel pinned to his chest pocket, a simple chain clipped to his lapel. Black leather gloves delicately thumb Bruce's watch (no longer on his wrist, somewhere between second 45 and 46 it has stopped being on his wrist), admiring it.

"You'll forgive me," the man says with surety. "Clocks are rather my thing, and this is an impressive piece." He turns it over and reveals the 'M. Brando' roughly scratched into the silver back. He frowns.

"What a shame," he says, placing it face side up on the table.

"Most would consider that the watch's most valuable characteristic." Bruce says, voice steady, hands neatly folded before him. Two inches from the knife. To his left, there is an open doorway to the kitchen. If he turns his head, he might be able to get a glance of Tim or Alfred.

He doesn't look away from the man.

"It is the arrogance of man," the man says, raising red eyes (sclera and all) to Bruce, "to think they can make their mark on time."

"...Is that supposed to be considered so literally?" Bruce asks, with a light smile he does not mean.

The man smiles lightly back, eyes crinkling at the corners. He looks to be in his mid thirties, clean-shaven. His skin is a dull blue, his hair a shock of white, and a jagged scar runs through one eye and curving down the side of his cheek, an even darker, rawer shade of blue-purple.

The man turns the watch back over and taps at the engraving. "Let me ask you this," he says. "When we deface a work of art, does it become part of the art? Does it add to its intrinsic meaning?"

Bruce forces his shoulders to shrug. "It's arbitrary," he says. "A teenager inscribes his name on the wall of an Ancient Egyptian temple and his parents are forced to publicly apologize. But runic inscriptions are found on the Hagia Sophia that equate to an errant Viking guard having inscribed 'Halfdan was here' and we consider it an artifact of a time in which the Byzantine Empire had established an alliance with the Norse and converted vikings to Christianity."

"The vikings were as errant as the teenager," the man says, "in my experience." He leans back in his chair. "I suppose you could say the difference is time. When time passes, we start to think of things as artistic, or historical. We find the beauty in even the rubble, or at least we find necessity in the destruction..."

He offers Bruce the watch. After a moment, Bruce takes it.

"The problem, Mr. Wayne, is that time does not pass for me. I see it all as it was, as it is, as it ever will be, at all times. There is no refuge from the horror or comfort in that one day..." he closes his hand, the leather squeaking. And then his face smooths out, the brief severity gone. He regards Bruce calmly.

"You can look left, Mr. Wayne."

Bruce looks left. Framed by the doorway, Tim looks like a photograph caught in time. A stream of coffee escapes the spout of the stainless steel pot he prefers over the Breville in the name of expediency, frozen as it makes its way to the thermos proclaiming BITCH I MIGHTWING. Tim regards his task with a face of mindless concentration, mouth slack, lashes in dark relief against his pale skin as he looks down at the mug. Behind him, Bruce can see Alfred's hand outstretched towards the refrigerator handle, equally and terrifyingly still.

"My name is Clockwork," the man says. "I have other names, ones you undoubtedly know, but this one will be bestowed upon me from the mouth of a child I cherish, and so I favor it above all else. I am the Keeper of Time."

"What do you want from me?" Bruce asks, shedding Wayne for Batman in the time it takes to meet Clockwork's eyes. The man acknowledges the change with a greeting nod.

"In a few days time, you will send Superman to the Midwest to investigate the unusual seismic activity. By then, it will be too late, the activity will be gone. They will have already muzzled him."

"Him."

"There is a boy with the power to rule the realm I come from. Your government has been watching him. The day he turned 18, they took him from his family and hid him away. I want you to retrieve him. I want you to do it today."

"Why me?"

"His parents do not have the resources you do, both as Batman and Bruce Wayne. You will dismantle the organization that is keen on keeping him imprisoned, and you will offer him a scholarship to the local University. You and yours will keep him safe within Gotham until he is able to take his place as my King."

This is a lot of information to take in, even for Bruce. The idea that there could be a boy powerful enough to rule over this (god, his mind whispers) entity and that somehow, he has slipped under all of their radars is as frustrating as it is overwhelming. But although Clockwork has seemed willing to converse, he doesn't know how many more questions he will get.

"You have the power to stop time," he decides on, "why don't you rescue him? Would he not be better suited with you and your people?"

"Within every monarchy, there is a court," Clockwork. "Mine will be unhappy with the choice I have made," he looks at Bruce's watch, head cocked. "In different worlds, they call you the Dark Knight. This will be your chance to serve before a True King."

Bruce bristles. "I bow to no one."

"You'll all serve him, one day," Clockwork says, patiently. "He is the ruler of realms where all souls go, new and old. When you finally take refuge, he will be your sanctuary." He frowns. "But your government rejects the idea of gods. All they know is he is other. Not human. Not meta. A weapon."

"A weapon you want me to bring to my city."

"I believe you call one of your weapons 'Clark', do you not?" Clockwork asks idly. "But you misunderstand me. They seek to weaponize him. He is not restrained for your safety, but for their gain."

"And if I don't take him?" Bruce asks, because a) Clockwork has implied he will be at the very least impeded, at worst destroyed over this, and b) he never did quite learn not to poke the bear. "You won't be around if I decide he's better off with the government."

"You will," Clockwork says, with the same certainty he's wielded this entire conversation. "Not because he is a child, though he is, nor because you are good, though you are, nor even because it is better power be close at hand than afar.

"I have told you my court will be unhappy with me. In truth, there are others who also defend the King. Together we will destroy the access to our world not long after this conversation. The court will be unable to touch him, but neither will we as we face the repercussions for our actions. I am telling you this, because in a timeline where I do not, you think I will be there to protect him. And so when he is in danger, even subconsciously, you choose to save him last, or not at all. And that is the wrong choice.

"So cement it in your head, Bruce Wayne," the man says, "You will go to him because I tell you to. And you will keep him safe until he is ready to return to us. He will find no safety net in me. So you will make the right choice, no matter the cost."

"Or, when our worlds connect again, and they will," his voice now echoes in triplicate with the voices of the many, the young, the old, Tim, Bruce's mother, Barry Allen, Bruce's own voice, "I will not be the only one who comes for you."

"Now," he says, producing a Wayne Industries branded BIC pen. "I will tell you the location the boy is being kept, and then I would like my medallion back, please. In that order."

Bruce glances down and sees a golden talisman, attached to a black ribbon that is draped haphazardly around the neck of his bathrobe, so light (too light, he still should have—) he has not felt its weight until this moment.

Bruce flips the paper over, takes the pen, and jots down the coordinates the being rattles off over the face of a senator. By his calculation, they do correspond with a location in the midwest.

"You will find him on B6. Take a left down the hallway and he will be in the third room down, the one with a reinforced steel door. Take Mr. Kent and Mr. Grayson with you, and when you leave take the staircase at the end of the hallway, not the elevator."

The man gets up, dusts off his impeccably clean pants, and offers him a hand to shake.

"We will not meet again for some time, Mr. Wayne."

Bruce looks at the creature, stands, and shakes his hand. It feels like nothing. The Keeper of Time sighs, although nothing has been said.

"Ask your question, Mr. Wayne."

"I have more than one."

"You do," Clockwork says. "But I have heard them all, and so they are one. Please ask, or I will not be inclined to answer it."

"What does this boy mean for the future, that you are willing to sacrifice yourself for him?"

There is a pause.

"So that is the one," Clockwork says, after a time. "Yes. I see. I should resolve this, I suppose."

"Resolve what?"

"It is not his future I mean to protect," the man says. "It is his present."

"You want to keep him safe now..." Bruce says, but he's not sure what the being is trying to say.

"I am not inclined," Clockwork repeats, stops. His expression turns solemn, red eyes widening. In their reflection, Bruce can see something. A rush of movement too quick to make heads or tails of, like playing fast forward on a videotape. "Superman reports no signs of unusual seismic activity. With nothing further to look into, you let it go in favor of other investigative pursuits. You do not find him, as you are not meant to. He stays there. His family, his friends, they cannot find him. His captors tell him they have moved on. He does not believe them, until he does. He stays there. He stays there until he is strong enough to save himself."

Clockwork speaks stiffly, rattling off the chain of events as if reading a Justice League debrief. "He is King. He will always be King. He is strong, and good, and compassionate, and he is great for my people because yours have betrayed his trust beyond repair. He throws himself into being the best to ever Be, because there is nothing Left for him otherwise. We love him. We love him. We love him. My King. Forevermore."

The red film in his eyes stall out, and Bruce is forced to look away from how bright the image is, barely making out a silhouette before they dull back to their regular red.

"I am not inclined," Clockwork says slowly, "To this future."

"Because of what it means in the present," Bruce finishes for him. "They're not just imprisoning him, are they."

"They will have already muzzled him."

Clockworks is right in front of him faster than he can process, fist gripping the medallion at his neck so tight he now feels the ribbon digging into his skin.

"Unlike you, Mr. Wayne," and for the first time, the god is angry, and the image of it will haunt Bruce for the rest of his life, "I do not believe in building a better future on the back of a broken child."

"Find him," the deity orders, and yanks the necklace so hard the ribbon rips—

Clack!

"sluuuuurp!"

"Master Timothy, honestly!"

"Sorry Alfred!"

#i feel like I'm going to reread this and want to add other stuff #but I also just want to post it and get it out there #fun fact i scribbled a bunch of lines down at 2am bc i didn't want to forget them #im bad at multiple drafts #my writing #dp x dc #dp x dc au #dp x dc prompt #dp x dc crossover #danny phantom #batman #i live to make everybody dramatic #but also i subscribe to a world where clockwork doesn't know how NOT to be dramatic #lol he's a ghost from all of time he doesn't know how to speak to humans and tailor it to the century let alone the decade #and his favorite little girl who calls him clocky loves how he speaks so #he doesn't need to change for nobody #nor feels inclined to #also I feel like as god he's way more inclined to threaten to get what he wants than like...be vulnerable #jazz: let's unpack that #clockwork: we never do #jazz: are you saying that because it's true or because that's what you want to be true?#clockwork: ...#also I cannot take credit for BITCH I MIGHTWING #wish i could #that is cash money right there #shoutout to 11thsense

1K notes · View notes

godhurts · 20 days

Text

Hear me out: somno but the dom is the one who's asleep?? Like a very tired mommy sleeping in a lot and a really impatient pet that can't control their instincts? They see her ass poking out of the sheets and can't help rubbing their needy parts on it. They moan softly as they start humping it slowly and gently as not to wake her up, but soon get too desperate, need to feel more. They slide it inside her and start moving gently, whimpering, mumbling "please please please." By then she wakes up, but doesn't do anything except smiling at her adorable needy pet. "Does it feel good baby?" she says in a sleepy voice, letting them know she's awake. They can't look her in the eye out of embarrassment, but can't stop either so they end up fucking and falling back asleep together 🩷

518 notes · View notes

marlenacantswim · 3 months

Text

tenth doctor the most relatable doctor because i too have a massive ego and ignore people who are attracted to me 💖

closeups (including text and image ID) under the cut, snip snip snip ✂️

[Image ID: a sketchpage-style series of eight digital drawings of the tenth doctor. they are all bust/torso up, and each is doing a different activity in slightly different canon outfits. the first depicts him in his glasses fiddling with wires. in the next he's wearing classic 3d specs, and appears shocked. in the next he is smiling with his face close to the viewer while donna stands annoyedly behind him. in the next he side-eyes the viewer with a neutral to serious expression. the next depicts his sad, wounded face from the aftermath of the conflict in End of Time Part Two; his suit jacket is slightly torn and his eyes are watery. the next has him examining a chip pierced at the end of a plastic fork he's holding. in the next he stares off to the side, slightly confused. in the last he's wielding the sonic screwdriver, pointing it upwards with a perplexed look on his face. there is penciled text scribbled around the drawings, reading "Ten!", "god complex", "GEEK CHIC", "adhd icon", "everyone want her sooo bad", "baby girl", "go whiteboy go!!!", "farsighted (for the DRAMA)", "stylish bedhead", "there's like, four of him", "SAD.", "WET.", "PATHETIC.", "will not STFU", "has canonically eaten human blood :)", "omfg?!", "needs therapy", "kinda toxic :/ (free my girl martha)", "if a drowned weasel was also the most beautiful girl you're ever seen", "misses his girlfriend :(", "PRETTYBOY", "asexual SLUT", "he's sorry. he's so, so sorry.", and "ALLONS-Y!". there is also sparse radial gallifreyan and crude sketches of the tardis and a chuck converse shoe. /.End ID]

my brain goes "ooooo you are gonna draw tenth doctor fifty bajillion time" and i go "thanks brain you are correct. we are in agreement."

#the tenth doctor and i also share a fondness for: having adhd; sitting in chairs wrong; being slightly farsighted;#wearing exclusively hightop chucks; and preferring our hair resemble some sort of evil birdsnest #i've started stimming with my hair because of this bitch. unbelivable.#also i know i'm not supposed to put image ids below readmores #i'm a wordy bitch :(#doctor who #nuwho #tenth doctor #10th doctor #david tennant #donna noble #catherine tate #running my mouth #made this with my hands #my artwork #doctor who fanart

858 notes · View notes

delta-piscium · 1 year

Text

Murray, after watching Steve and Eddie for all of five seconds, confidently walks up to them and starts his whole spiel about pining blah blah etc etc, and like, Steve will absolutely not have that, there is no way.

So he snorts, looks at Murray down his nose, and with zero hesitation lies, tells him “We’ve been dating for a month, congrats on seeing the obvious... Or not since you couldn’t tell”

He just hopes Eddie will play along. Steve is sending him the strongest signals with his mind right now, and, just, he knows Eddie can be petty like this too (that’s why he likes him so much, and yeah Murray is a little right but fuck him so much more for it)

Eddie ‘lives for the bit and to fuck with people’ Munson does not disappoint. He slings an arm around Steve and is like “Yeaaahhh wow, real clever observation there buddy.” In the driest tone imaginable

And Murray, well he was sure he was right, still kind of is sure he’s right so he just squints at them for a bit and then breaks out in a wide grin, and only sounds a little sarcastic when he says “Congrats on figuring your shit out yourselves.”

Except he absolutely does not mean it because he wanted to do that, he likes doing that. And now he's sulking and will watch them so closely because something seems off

Eddie and Steve, so committed to the bit and to not let Murray win, start fake dating. All while Murray tries to catch them in their lie, and they’re all too stubborn to give up

Murray starts to slowly think he maybe was wrong though because they really seem like a couple. And even though there’s still something there he can’t ignore the proof.

When they straight up make out in front of him, and he can tell that they’re so lost in each other they probably don’t know he’s there he's about to concede

But then after that, they act so weird around each other again? It’s like before but worse and how did the pining get worse when they’re actually openly together? Regularly have their tongues down each other's throats and all?

Meanwhile, Steve and Eddie are going through it because they thought they’d be okay but that kiss was so much, and oh god they don’t think they can do this? But they can’t let Murray win?

A week and a half later at their monthly 'we survived the apocalypse, again' get-together at Hoppers and Joyce’s, Murray just gets enough of how twitchy they are. He grabs them both and locks them in a closet and is like “I don’t wanna know anymore, whatever fight you had or didn’t figure it out”

They sort of stand there shuffling from foot to foot not marking eye contact until Eddie is just like “Oh for fucks sake, I like you for real okay? The bastard was right so can we actually just date? Please?” And all Steve's can do is say "Thank god," while he smiles the most blinding smile and grabs Eddie by his collar pulling him in for a kiss

Fifteen minutes later they come out of the closet (the irony and symbolism is not lost on them) all disheveled and a little too satisfied looking and are met with very loud screaming from all the younger teens, ranging from a simple “Ew!” (Mike) to “Dude we are right here what if we'd heard? Or walked in there and seen?” (Dustin)

They’re lucky they’re too distracted by this to see Murray's self-satisfied smirk because if they did they would have pretend broken up and there would have been another month of sneaking around but this time actually dating and pretending they weren’t

#I'm bringing you all another steddie gets Murray'd take because well I can #and bc I think they'd be so bitchy to him about it and like see it as war #they refuse to admit he got them together until years later and even then they're like 'we would have gotten there quicker and with less #confusion without him- he was a roadblock actually'#they’re bitch boyfriends ok?#Murray moves on to Nancy and Robin after this and both Nancy who has been Murray'd before and Robin who knew this whole mess #just shake their heads and is like 'you quiet- we are not doing this let us figure out our own lives'#dels steddie thoughts #steddie headcanon #my post #steddie ficlet #murray bauman #stranger things #eddie munson #steve harrington #steddie

2K notes · View notes

essektheylyss · 3 months

Text

I am now thinking about Essek as, essentially, Anna Ripley for the Ruby Vanguard, and it's genuinely horrific to imagine but it's not a real timeline so it's hilarious. It is so funny in concept. He's a glorified postdoc with no mandatory ethics trainings, no future, and nothing to lose. Also he just got handed the power of a thousand suns with absolutely no oversight and a mandate to "do your worst".

This has such extreme "horse loose in a hospital" energy. No one knows what Essek will do next, least of all Essek! He's never been in control of the power of a thousand suns before! He's as confused as you are!

#it would be DISASTROUS #I'm laughing so hard at this concept #the planet would be gone #essek is so funny because he is both SO intensely at the mercy of the narrative and the world #and also he could genuinely destroy exandria if he was left entirely to his own devices and bored #this is also true of fjord for the record but fjord is even LESS at the mercy of the narrative and world #he makes the narrative his bitch #but fortunately he is far too principled and sensible to actually get that far so exandria is safe from that fate. for now.#anyway I have such a terrible headache and the fact that this keeps making me laugh is nOT helping but it's fine #however I am going to go take some meds and lay facedown in the dark.#essek thelyss #critical role

298 notes · View notes

Last Seen Blogs

necromancinggoddess

Goddess

uravitsy

thefuckinglady

Manic. Pixie. Dream Girl 👸🏽

lucasbakchosplus

Lucas Bakchos

untsjauntsja