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karahalloway · 4 months

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(Less Than) Noble Intentions: Chapter 16 - Snakes in the Garden

Fandom: TRR

Pairing: Drake Walker x F!OC (Harper Gale)

Series Summary: The social season may be over, but Harper Gale’s problems are just beginning. With everyone at court a potential suspect, can she and Drake survive the engagement tour and get to the bottom of the plot against her and clear her name? An AU take of TRR2 featuring my OTP - Harper & Drake.

Masterlist: (Less Than) Noble Intentions

Chapter Summary: Harper greets the world as the new Duchess of Valtoria, but that is not the only newsworthy item that rocks the Apple Harvest Festival...

Word Count: 7,300

Rating/Warnings: M (swearing, angst, possible ulterior motives)

Chapter theme song:

A/N1: Things are slowly coming to a head! Thanks for bearing with me on this series - I know I have a lot of other projects in the works, so I have not been updating as much as I probably should. But, we are finally getting to the exciting parts (as if what's happened until now hasn't been exciting 🤣) as after this chapter, we are into the meat of the engagement tour, and all the juicy plot changes that I have been wanting to write for over a year will finally come to a fore! *evil laugh*

A/N2: If you have not heard of TURN - the TV show from which I borrowed the chapter theme song - then, I can highly recommend it (especially if you like historical dramas, US history (specifically the Revolutionary War period), or just really good story-telling)!

A/N3: This is also much submission for @choicesjanuary2024 Day 12: Smiles / Secret

Chapter 16 - Snakes in the Garden

"Are you sure I look okay?" I ask, nervously pulling at the high-necked strip of emerald lace that circles my throat.

"Stop fiddling!" Bertrand berates, slapping my hand away. "We are running late as it, and we cannot afford to lose any more time to last minute touch-ups!"

"Yeah, but—"

"You look great, Harper," Maxwell assures me with a beaming smile. "Marcie did a great job."

The petite make-up artist that the Beaumonts had procured out of thin air bobs a curtsy to my right. "It was my pleasure, Your Grace."

Her words hit me like a whiplash.

Your Grace.

My new form of address. One I'm not sure I'm ever going to get used to. Lady Harper had been one thing, but that had always felt like a curtesy. A temporary formality that had been extended to me by virtue of my sponsorship by the Beaumonts during the social season.

But there is nothing temporary about my current situation. The weight of the ring on my hand — and its implications — bears down heavily on my finger... and my thoughts. Especially since I still haven't found a moment alone with Drake to finish our conversation from this morning... or bring him up to speed on my new status.

Because no sooner had my ennoblement been sealed with the very expensive — and very potent — champagne, than the Beaumonts had shown back up (somewhat mercifully) to crash Christian's surprise party.

And from there it had been a whirlwind of hair, makeup and outfitting for the all-important Apple Harvest Festival where I am due to make my grand debut as the new Duchess of Valtoria.

A position of some importance — Bertrand has stressed, multiple times — given that in addition to the impressive estate that I am now the official caretaker of, I also have a seat on the infamous Council, as well as a seat on the even more exclusive Privy Council. Not to mention my own fleet of staff, vehicles, bank accounts, and carefully curated online profiles.

Which is why — on top of everything — the ever-industrious press corps have worked at record speed to throw the fruits of yesterday's labours together into an exclusive, twelve-page spread as part of a special edition of Trend magazine, which dropped this morning.

And while I haven't actually had a chance to read through the copy that currently sits on the coffee table of my room (together with every other major national and international news publication), Maxwell has assured me that the social media reactions have — so far — been positive. The snaps of my stress-fuelled efforts at yesterday's apple pick have apparently helped.

Which means that Jonathan's PR gamble is starting to pay dividends, and I now have a public image to maintain. Not just for myself, but for Cordonia as well. Because when I step outside today, I'll be representing everything that the kingdom under Christian's burgeoning rule is striving to be — beauty, modernity, opportunity.

Definitely not the best day to wake up with a litany of awkwardly situated bruises!

Thankfully, both Maxwell and Bertrand seem to have had a chance to pull themselves together after this morning's surprising (and definitely explosive!) turn of events, and — after the initial shock — have set about covering for mine and Drake's mess with the same coordinated precision that they employed to pull the Beaumont Bash out of their butts.

With the result that they somehow managed to transform me from the black and blue disaster I woke up as, into the picture of a polished and refined lady.

I glance apprehensively out at the bright sunshine blanketing the hills. Hopefully, the carefully applied window-dressing survives the literal trial by fire it's about to be subjected to. Because just like yesterday, the temperature is set to climb into the mid-90's today as well, which means I'll most likely end up sweating buckets again, thanks to the Edwardian nature of my dress's neckline.

And what I definitely don't need today is for all the blush and cover-up getting smudged away so that everyone at the event can start speculating about the intimate placement of my of hickeys!

I close my eyes wearily. God, I can't wait for all this to be over...

"No catnaps!" snaps Bertrand, slapping a wide-brimmed hat onto my head. "The people are waiting on us!"

I barely have time to grab my matching clutch before the Beaumonts are whisking me out of my room and down the length of the corridor towards the manor's lawn.

"Surely the Festival can start without us...!" I gasp as I stumble after Bertrand in my heels.

"No, it cannot," he reprimands. "All members of the Council must be present for the ceremonial tree planting."

I frown. "Tree planting? Isn't that a little... agrarian for the aristos?"

"It is a time-honoured tradition!" corrects Bertrand. "Cordonia owes its existence and livelihood to the noble Ruby, so it is the duty of the Council to ensure that the fruits of our bounty are secured for future generations! Hence, the requirement to plant new saplings at the end of each harvest!"

"If you say so..." I concede as we pass through the back doors of the manor.

Based on what I saw at the apple pick, Bertrand's pronouncement seems optimistic at best, given that none of the aristos even bothered to lift a finger to a tree yesterday.

But, looks can always be deceiving, so maybe today is the day that the I am pleasantly surprised for once.

A deafening cheer erupts as the Beaumonts and I step out onto the manor's steps.

Snapping my head towards the source of the commotion, I see what appears to be thousands of people crammed behind velvet-lined cordons, screaming and jostling for position like they're in the front row of a Taylor Swift concert...

...and it takes me a second to realise that it's my name that they're shouting.

"Duchess!"

"Lady Harper, we love you!"

"You're the true Apple Queen, no matter what anyone says!"

"Wow..." I blink, taken aback by the fervency of the crowd's reaction. "I didn't realise I had such a rabid following..."

"Best wave to them," suggests Maxwell, leaning in as he raises his arm into the air with a wide smile.

"Okay..." I concede hesitantly, turning to the crowd to do the same.

The last time I experienced anything remotely like this had been on the red carpet at the Derby — my first public outing as a suitor. But even the bright flash of the cameras and the intrusive questions that the reporters had flung at me paled in comparison to the reaction I am receiving today.

Phones and cameras are thrust into the air as the Beaumonts and I descend the manor's stairs to the accompaniment of the increasingly frenzied cheers and shouts of encouragement. Even a few bouquets of flowers fly through the air, narrowly missing my hat.

And I can't help but smile in the face of the genuine outpouring of support from the crowd. Because it sure as heck feels good to be on top for once!

However, arriving at the edge of the orchard where the tree planting ceremony is due to take place, I am greeted by a very different type of welcome.

Snooty expressions drip down the ends of aristocratic noses as the members of the Council pass silent judgment on my somewhat bombastic entrance.

"They're just jealous," Maxwell whispers to me as we take up our spots at the edge of the gathering.

"Yeah..." I agree with a stilted voice. "That's what I'm worried about."

I know firsthand of the lengths that these people are willing to go to in order to exact vengeance for perceived slights. And I did not particularly feel like painting a target on my back a second time while I am still trying to recover from the hurt caused by the first.

Maybe this is a mistake...

But I don't have time to think on it long, because the public erupts into an even more deafening outburst as Christian appears with Madeleine on his arm.

"Look at her..." snips a voice from behind me. "Acting like she's Queen already."

I whip around in disbelief. "Olivia!"

The Duchess of Lythikos cuts her green eyes over at me with a derisive look. "Oh, don't look so surprised, Harper. Just because you are now a duchess, does not mean that the rest of us have taken early retirement."

"Trust me," I grumble under my breath, "this was not the plan."

"Opportunities multiply as they are seized," she replies sagely.

I quirk a brow at her. "Meaning?"

"Meaning," she expounds surly, "opportunity breeds opportunity. And only by exploiting every advantage will you uncover previously hidden gains. Do they not teach The Art of War inyour schools?"

"No..."

She scoffs under her breath. "Explains a lot."

I roll my eyes at her as Christian and Madeleine pause on the steps for photos and a couple of quick sound bites. "I guess this means your sabbatical was productive?"

"Exceedingly."

I heave a breath. "At least one of us is making progress..."

"Oh, don't sell yourself short," she counters out of the corner of her mouth. "Your recent advancements have served as a welcome distraction..."

"Not sure if that’s a compliment, or not..." I admit sourly.

"You have more power than you realise," she insists quietly. "Make sure you use it."

"Wow..." I mutter, glancing over at her in genuine surprise. "Friendly advice from the Scarlet Duchess? What else have you learnt during your time away?"

"Our interests are temporarily aligned, nothing more," she replies, shooting daggers across the lawn towards Madeleine. "And I'll fill you in shortly."

"Well, it's good to have you back, regardless," I say with a dip of my head. "Your Grace."

Olivia shoots me a sidelong look. "Don't get sentimental on me, Duchess."

But I can see the hint of a smile pulling at her lips.

Christian and Madeleine arrive at the edge of the trees. Stepping up to the row of waiting saplings, Christian pulls a stack of notecards out of his pocket and delivers a short speech to the click of the cameras.

As the mandatory applause dies down, he slots the pieces of paper carefully away... and pulls off his jacket.

"What are you doing?" hisses Madeleine as the crowd descends into a hubbub of excited reactions.

"Taking a leaf out of the Duchess of Valtoria's book," he replies, handing his jacket off to the closest shocked Councillor as he sets about rolling up his sleeves.

"Out of—!" Madeleine bristles in indignation, while trying to maintain an outwardly calm composure. "The only thing you have taken is leave of your senses! Now get back here and—!"

Ignoring his fiancée's outburst, Christian grabs the ribbon-bedecked shovel out of the hands of the footman that was holding it, and steps up to a clear patch of grass. Adjusting his grip on the handle, he digs the metal blade decisively into the ground to the accompanying slew of clicking camera shutters.

"Shall we?" asks Olivia with a sly smirk as she pushes her way to the front of the line of gawping nobles.

"Let's," I agree, instantly catching onto her plan.

"Lady Harper!" hisses Bertrand from behind me. "What do you think you're—?"

"Lending a hand to the King," I throw back over my shoulder as I step to the front of the row of aristos who are looking mutely onto the sight of their monarch working up an actual sweat before them.

Grabbing another shovel from the pile in the corner — these ones obviously having seen some honest work already, judging by the dirt encrusted on their faces — I join the King of Cordonia in enlarging the hole in the ground.

Because regardless of Christian's underlying motives for ennobling me, and whatever his broader game may be, what he is doing right now is bigger than me, bigger than him, bigger than any of us. And that deserves recognition. Especially when he is taking such active — and public — strides towards being the change he wants to see unfurl during his rule. Where the ruling class doesn't just offer empty platitudes and hollow ceremony, but actually practices what it preaches. So, what better way to do that, than by planting the seeds of change in front of thousands of people in the literal heart of the kingdom?

Christian rewards my arrival with a nod and a smile as I take up position next to him.

Hefting my shovel, I slice it into the earth that he's already uncovered, using the somewhat flimsy sole of my heeled sandals to drive it deeper.

Scooping the blade back out, I suddenly feel a presence to my left. Looking up, I see that Maxwell has also joined our impromptu work crew.

Throwing me a wink, he drops his shovel in next to mine.

With the three of us working on tandem, it takes us almost no time at all to dig out a hole large enough to house the new apple tree.

Wiping the sweat from my forehead — the weatherman had not lied, that's for sure! — I see that Olivia, with some assistance from Hana, has already prepared the sapling by shunting it closer to the hole and removing the burlap covering from its roots.

Laying down our shovels, we help her manoeuvre the tree to the edge of the dint. Cheers and applause rise up from the onlookers as the sapling thuds into the earth. Olivia uses one of the knives from her hidden arsenal to slice off the twines holding the branches together, and the tree unfurls itself with a satisfied snap.

"Your Majesty!" shouts a reporter, who I recognise as Frederick Capone. "One for the Cordonian Times, if you please!"

"And for the CBS!" adds Donald Brine, muscling his way to the front.

"Certainly," accedes Christian graciously, holding his arm out. "It was a group effort, after all."

We all gather in — sweaty and dirty, but smiling — as the press corps immortalises the scene...

...and I innocuously sweep my hair over my shoulder in a vain effort to try and hide any bruises that may have become uncovered as a result of the unplanned exertion.

"Thank you for joining me in my moment of impulsivity," Christian acknowledges softly as the bulbs flash.

"Please," scoffs Olivia out of the side of her mouth. "It was coordinated from the start."

"The people don't seem to mind," counters Hana with a demure smile as she faces the cameras.

"With the exception of about half-dozen," I note, glancing back at the disgruntled looks of the Councillors from behind us, as they try to save face by applauding our efforts together with the rest of the crowd.

"They'll fall in line." Christian assures me as he lifts his hand with a wave.

I feel a prick between my shoulder blades. Turning my head, I catch sight of the cold fire radiating out of Madeleine's gaze from behind the mask of her perfect smile.

"Maybe not everyone..." I mutter under my breath as I turn back towards the paps.

I'm already on Madeleine's shit list for daring to return to court after my very public humiliation and banishment. On the night of her engagement tour launch party, no less! So, the fact that I ended up upstaging her — again — probably means that I've sunk even further down the ladder of her estimations.

To what end, I have no idea. But I'm going to have to start being more careful from here on out.

Once the press are finally placated, we disperse across the lawn in search of some much-needed refreshments.

"Harper!"

I swallow a groan as I'm brought up short, mere steps from the freshly squeezed, rosemary-infused lemonade that I desperately need after toiling away in this heat. "What now, Bertrand...?"

"I... uhm..." He clears his throat as I turn to face him. "I wanted to apologise for my earlier outburst. It was unseemly... and in retrospect, short-sighted."

"What do you mean?" I ask with a frown. Bertrand very rarely — if ever! — apologised.

"The public reaction to the tree planting has been overwhelming," he clarifies, pulling his phone out.

My eyes bulge as I take in the view count on the screen. "A hundred thousand views already!"

"And counting," Bertrand adds. "And that is only one website."

"And look at the comments!" I exclaim, scrolling through the feed. "They're loving Maxwell as well!"

"Yes, it appears that my brother has a keener instinct for media relations than I do..."

"You should tell him that," I say. "It would mean the world to him."

Bertrand looks momentarily taken aback. "I... Well..." He clears his throat again. "Yes. Maybe I will. He deserves some recognition for his efforts in diverting — at least temporarily — the negative attention away from our financial predicaments."

"A simple hug and a 'thank-you' will do," I tell him with a knowing look.

Bertrand reels back in abject horror. "I will not subject my brother to such a sordid display of affection! Especially in public!"

I heave a sigh. "And there's your problem, right th—"

I trail off as I spot a familiar figure signalling to me from over Bertrand's shoulders.

"Excuse me," I say, palming Bertrand's phone back to him as I move towards one of the marquees that had been set up at the edge of the lawn.

Slipping inside the flap of the tent, I come face-to-face with Ana de Luca.

"Your Grace," she nods, dipping into a curtesy, something she hasn't deigned to do before. "Thank you for making the time."

"Ana," I nod in return, wondering why the influential editor of Trend chose to pull me away for a private meeting. Especially after I cornered her so forcefully at Madeleine's garden party a few days ago.

"I suppose congratulations are in order," she continues, straightening back up. "Since returning to court you have managed to elevate yourself not just in rank, but in the eyes of the public as well. Rolling your sleeves up in tandem with the King was a masterful piece of image enhancement."

"I didn't do it for myself," I reply evenly.

"Of course," she nods quickly. "We must all step in line with our new King. But your reputation is certainly reaping the benefits as well."

"As is your bottom line," I point out.

"Your initiative is markedly boosting sales of this month's special edition, as well as traffic to our website," she concedes. "For which Trend is very grateful. But that is not the reason I pulled you aside."

"What is it then?"

"I found out the name of the photographer," she replies, reaching into her handbag.

I feel my heart jump in my chest. "You're joking..."

She raises a brow at me from behind the lenses of her black-out Versace shades as she pulls a small flash-drive out. "I can assure you that I am not."

I quickly pull myself back together. "No. Of course not..."

Handing the drive over, she adds. "On there you will find all the pertinent information I was able to obtain through my own means."

"Thank you," I say sincerely, taking the piece of plastic from her. "I honestly was not expecting this..."

She shrugs an elegant shoulder. "I said I would look into it, so I did. It is not much, but I am sure you have people who can hopefully take it further."

"I do," I affirm, slotting the device into my clutch.

"After all," she adds with a knowing quirk to her lips. "You are not the only one with a vested interest in seeing your name cleared, Your Grace."

With another quick bob, she exits the marquee.

I let out a low exhale as the tent flap drops back into place in her wake. "Thank God..."

Some much-needed progress at last!

Hopefully, Drake can take the information from the drive and do a deep dive into the photographer to see if they ever crossed paths with whoever it is that has it in for me.

Which reminds me...

Opening my clutch up again, I pull my phone out and type up a quick message to my elusive boyfriend.

I haven't seen or heard from him since the event started. And now I have two pieces of critical information I need to share with him. So, rather than chasing after him like some damsel in distress, I'm going to make him come to me for a change. Because time is of the essence, and I don't want to wait.

Hitting send, I exit the tent and head back towards the orchard. I figure that since everyone is on the lawn, the secluded garden hidden amongst the trees will give me and Drake the best chance to meet in private, away from the prying eyes of the court and the press.

Slipping between the tree trunks, I try to make my way as casually as possible through the orchard, as if I am simply out for a walk, in order to ward off potential suspicion. But, as I drift further away from the Festival, I start to pick up the pace, mindful of the short timeframe I gave Drake... as well as the exposed roots on the ground.

Because as much as I might want to hurry, I definitely don't want — or need — a twisted ankle the day before we're due to start the international leg of the trip. As Mom was right — I should take advantage of the upcoming whirlwind tour of Europe to at least try and get some sightseeing in. As who knows when I'll get the chance to do this again...

...especially if I'm forced to become a hermit because we fail to expose the mastermind behind the press scandal.

I shake my head. No. I need to stay positive. It's the only way I'm going to get through—

"Competing with a herd of elephants, Gale?"

I snap my gaze up at the sound of Drake's voice... and nearly trip over a hidden apple lodged in the grass.

"You try sneaking ‘round in four-inch heels," I grumble back at him, while using the trunk of a nearby tree to steady myself.

He mutters something under his breath as he steps over to me with an outstretched hand. "Here."

Grabbing his hand, I navigate gingerly away from the tree, only to find that the slightly rotten fruit has become impaled on the end of my stiletto.

"Great..." I groan, trying to flick the stupid thing off... But it stays stubbornly stuck.

"You're a walking disaster, y'know that, right?" drawls Drake as he drops down in front of me.

"Ha-ha, funny," I snark back at him while trying to balance on one foot on the uneven ground.

He meets my eye with a wry look as he finally manages to pull the offending fruit off with a squelch. "You're only gripin' 'cause it's true."

"Yeah, well, not all of us have... reflexes... like Neo..." I reply sardonically as I save myself from tipping over by grabbing onto Drake's shoulder.

He stifles a scoff as he tosses the apple into the trees. "You good?"

"Yeah," I confirm, righting myself again and letting go of his shirt.

Drake regards me critically for a long moment — as if expecting me to keel over again at the drop of a hat — before pushing himself up.

"Thanks," I say, laying an appreciative hand on his arm.

The humour fades from his gaze at the contact.

"Drake..." I start...

...but he's already pulled away.

"What did you want to talk about?" he asks, not quite meeting my eyes as he slots his hands into his pockets, the momentary lightness of our previous interaction gone.

I heave a breath.

We really need to talk about what happened this morning. But his suddenly standoffish demeanour makes it clear that he's not quite ready for that yet.

So, I decide to start with something less contentious.

"We have a lead on the photographer," I tell him, reaching into my clutch.

His head perks up with interest. "That was fast."

"Teamwork makes the dream work," I agree with a smile, pulling the flash drive back out and holding it out to him.

His posture suddenly stiffens. "The hell is that?"

I glance around me uncertainly. "What?"

"The fucking ring on your finger," he declares dispassionately, his accusatory gaze scorching into my outstretched hand.

My heart drops. Oh, no...

This is not how I wanted to break it to him. But unfortunately for both of us, the cat has now ripped itself out of the proverbial bag, so I'm just going to have to scamper after it.

Taking a steadying inhale, I look him square in the eye. "It's my new signet ring." I turn my hand over to show it to him.

His face darkens. "Fils de pute de—" he grits under his breath, snapping a hand out to grab my wrist.

My eyes widen. "Drake, what are y—?"

A storm is raging in his espresso gaze. "Signet rings go on the little finger. On the right hand."

"Oh," is all I can manage as he swipes the golden band off my left ring finger.

"You didn't know, did you?" he asks softly, reaching for my other hand... more gently this time.

I shake my head with a constricted throat. "No, I—"

"Beautiful, isn't it?"

My head jerks ‘round at the sound of the unexpected voice. "Christian!"

"I see you couldn't resist a somewhat impulsive stroll through the orchards, either?" he asks, more rhetorically than anything else. "The scent of apples is truly luscious this time of year."

"Erm... yes...!" I manage to squeak out, shoving my right hand behind my back. "Smells like apple juice!"

Christian's brow quivers ever so slightly at my slightly random — and obviously unexpected — comparison.

But I'm too busy coordinating with Drake to get the signet ring shoved back onto my hand while trying to palm the flash drive off to him without dropping either in the process. As both outcomes would lead to some very awkward conversations!

I feel the warmth of the metal slide onto the index finger of my hand (Drake had probably ascertained that the circumference of the band was too large for my pinky), and I'm finally able to breathe a sigh of relief.

Embarrassing backpedaling, narrowly averted!

Drake uses the opportunity to extract the flash drive from my hand as well, dropping the device casually into his pocket as he moves beside me. "She ain't wrong."

"No," concedes Christian, eying the two of us for a second longer than strictly comfortable. "She rarely is."

"So, umm... Are you hiding from the paps as well?" I ask in a bid to diffuse the growing tension in the air.

"No, I came looking for you, actually," he corrects, taking a step forward. "I saw you slip into the orchard, and thought it prudent to follow you."

"Oh?" I say, feeling my stomach tighten again. "Worried I might get lost?"

"I was hoping to catch you alone," he corrects, coming to a stop in front of me.

I swallow tightly as I see him glance over at Drake.

Please don't fight... Please don't fight...

Christian's gaze reverts to me. "But I suppose it is convenient for Drake to happen to be here as well."

My heart skips an uncomfortable beat. "It is?"

"Yes," he affirms. "I have received some news that you'll both be interested in hearing."

"Well, don't keep us in damn suspense, then..." mutters Drake with a noticeable edge to his voice.

I try to reach discretely out to brush my fingers against his, to reassure him that come what may, we'll get through it together, that—

"We found Tariq."

Christian's words hit me like a kick to the chest. The breath explodes out of me so forcefully that I am actually forced to take a step back in a bid to maintain my balance as the apple trees descend into a spin around me.

No way...

"Where?"

Drake's voice floats across the edge of my awareness. And even in my spaced-out state, I can feel the weight of the cold, calculated fury infused into that single word.

No corner... No mercy.

"Dubai," replies Christian, who also sounds like he's miles away. "He—"

But Drake's already spun away. "Send me the coordinates."

"Harper?"

I blink up at Christian in a daze. "Huh?"

"Are you alright?" he asks, laying a concerned hand on my cheek. "You... You looked as if you were about to faint..."

"I..." I swallow past the sudden dryness in my throat. "I'm okay."

"Are you certain?" he presses, peering down at me. "I could ring for a doctor, and—"

"No," I insist, pulling away from him. "I'm fine. I... I guess I just got caught off-guard..."

"It is an unexpected development, certainly," he concedes. "But hopefully still a welcome one?"

"Yes!" I blurt out. "Of course! I want to clear my name more than anyone, and Tariq is key to that! I just..." My voice trails uncertainly off.

Christian flashes me a knowing half-smile. "Feel some trepidation about the prospect...?"

"I guess so," I concede, my fingers moving unconsciously to the horseshoe charm at my wrist.

Because as much as I may want Tariq to pay for what he did from a rational point of view, from an emotional standpoint, I’m terrified.

As even though I know in the back of my mind that a lot of my trepidation has to do with the fact that I am still trying to recover from the psychological trauma that Tariq inflicted on me, a major part of me is also scared of what setting the record straight would entail in practice.

Christian had mentioned that there were 'methods of persuasion' that could be used to force a confession from Tariq. But then what? Would I be made to very publicly relive the entire horrible episode in the form of TV spots and interviews, or would we be able to get by with one official press release? And given my spotty history with the press, will people actually believe my side of the story...?

I mean, Meghan and Harry didn’t exactly fare well in the court of public opinion when they tried to counter the official royal narrative...

On top of all that, in light of my very visceral reactions to returning to Applewood, I have no idea how I'm going to react to seeing Tariq in person again. Would I burst into tears? Have a nervous breakdown? Dissolve into a panic attack? Stab him in the gut and then the nuts?

And (possibly worst of all) what if we discover that Tariq had been acting alone? And his attack on me — while traumatising — is in no way connected to the larger, and definitely more dangerous plot to remove me from the running for Queen? What then...?

"Your qualms are not as misplaced as you may initially think," Christian consoles. "It is a daunting prospect to face the person who actively sought to harm you."

Something in his tone catches my attention. "What do you mean?"

Christian heaves a sigh. "I do not know if you are aware of this, but several years ago, I was the target of an assassination attempt."

I nod tightly. "Yes. Drake told me."

"Then I presume he also told you how deeply the experience affected me," he says, catching my eye with an uncharacteristically guarded look.

"Yes," I affirm, thinking back to the conversation in Olivia's wine cellar that felt like years ago.

"What he probably didn't tell you, however," he continues, "is that I visited the perpetrator in prison."

My jaw drops. "You what!"

"Not publicly and certainly not in any official capacity." He shakes his head wryly. "I did not even talk to the man."

"Then why...?"

"I... I was having trouble reconciling with what had happened," he explains. "And moving past it. The trauma councillor that I was working with suggested that it was perhaps because I was subconsciously endowing the gunman with too much power, and thereby transmuting the man into something more akin to an evil monster."

A shiver runs down my spine at Christian's words. It's like he's talking about Tariq...

"So, to help break the negative emotional associations I had built up, my councillor arranged a clandestine meeting where I would have the opportunity to face the man."

"How... How did that go?" I ask nervously.

"I was terrified, of course," Christian admits. "I had no idea what to expect and each scenario I imagined in my head was worse than the last. But, when I finally got into room where the meeting was to take place, I was surprised by what I saw. As rather than some hulking, shadowy fiend, it was a pale, somewhat diminutive man sat across from me."

"So… what did you do?"

"We simply sat at a table and stared at each other," he recounts. "He with more than a bit of contemptuous malice, I have to admit, but in that moment, I realised that he was a flesh-and-blood person who had fallen prey to the same misguided emotions as I — anger, fear, resentment — just manifested differently. And that helped set me onto the path of true healing. As ultimately, I was able to forgive him."

"Forgive him?" I gasp disbelievingly. "For trying to murder you?"

"Nobody acts in isolation," Christian advises calmly. "Even the most unconscionable horrors perpetrated by the villains of humanity — torture, mass murder, genocide — sprout from the basis of an emotional or psychological motivator such as love, fear, greed, jealousy... to name but a few. So, while we may disagree with and condemn the action retrospectively from the safety of the moral high-ground, it is very possible that had we found ourselves in a similar situation, we would end up being just as guilty as the person we are looking to condemn."

"So, what?" I demand testily. "I should feel sorry for Tariq for what he did to me?"

"Showing empathy and compassion towards our counterparts does not mean forgetting or excusing the harm suffered," counsels Christian. "But it will certainly allow you to start on the path of true healing."

I shake my head as I turn away. "I'm not sure Tariq deserves that..."

"It is by no means an easy assignment," he admits, laying a hand on my shoulder. "But even if you cannot find it in your heart presently to forgive him, do at least try to keep yourself open to the possibility down the line. You may be surprised by the results."

Looking up, I can see that there is sincerity welling on his emerald gaze. And — for once — I don't doubt the true intent of his words. "Thanks. I'll think about it."

"As diplomatic as ever," he smiles, the tips of his fingers brushing down my back as he drops his hand. "And, regardless of what you choose to do, I'll be right by your side to support you."

"Thanks," I mutter with what I hope is a genuine smile, suddenly acutely aware of the fact that with Drake’s abrupt departure, it’s just me and Christian amongst the trees. Taking a step back towards the way I’d come, I ask, "So, umm... How did you end up finding him?"

"Instagram," replies Christian with a wry chuckle as he falls into step beside me.

My head snaps up in bewilderment. "He posted his whereabouts?"

"No," he laughs, looping my arm through his in reassurance. "Not intentionally, at any rate. He took shelter on his cousin's yacht docked off the coast of the Palm Jumeirah, and—"

"What's that?" I ask with a frown.

"One of a trio of artificially constructed archipelagos located off the coast of Dubai," he explains. "They are so called for their shape, which resemble stylised palm trees."

"Sounds... fancy," I admit, while trying to maintain some semblance of platonic distance between the two of us.

"They really are a sight to behold," he affirms, pulling me back to his side. "But it is part of the reason why we were not able to locate him initially — we knew he has family in the Emirates, of course, but—"

"He does?" I interject in surprise. This is certainly news to me...!

"Yes," he nods. "His father is a Cordonian nobleman, but his mother hails from the House of Al Falasi, the branch of the Bani Yas tribe that also produced Dubai's ruling family."

My eyes widen. "So, his mom is royalty?"

"No," chuckles Christian. "She is not directly connected to the Al Maktoum dynasty. But her family is nevertheless influential in the region. Which is why when we hit a roadblock with the French authorities, we decided to focus our efforts on countries where we knew he had familial or business connections. The Emirates, however, boast a multitude of private airfields, not to mention water-based ports of entry, so attempting to narrow down Tariq’s possible time and method of arrival and determining where he went from there was providing to be a complex undertaking. Especially since we had to ensure to conduct our enquiries outside of the official channels."

"Specifically, via social media," I supply dryly.

"Yes," confirms Christian, only half jokingly. "When we realised that Tariq must have switched off or changed out his phone, Drake suggested that we set up a facial recognition-based search algorithm that could scour the various social media and news portals in a bid to help us pinpoint his exact location."

"That sounds... technical," I admit.

"A few years ago, it would have been, But the technology is relatively commonplace now, thankfully."

"So, you managed to get a hit?"

"Yes," he affirms. "One of his cousins on his mother's side posted a selfie featuring his new yacht a couple of days ago... and someone who partially matched Tariq's features was visible on the edge of the frame. But it wasn't until this morning that our man on the ground was able to obtain independent confirmation that it really was him."

"Wow..." I manage. "Talk about blind, dumb luck."

"Never underestimate the awesome power of serendipity," counsels Christian with a smile as we reach the edge of the trees again. "It certainly played a hand in crossing our paths."

I swallow nervously. "Yeah, I—"

"You have some nerve!"

Before I have a chance to realise what is happening, Madeleine has swooped in from seemingly out of nowhere to intercept us with all the wrathful precision of a homing missile.

"Ow!" I hiss, feeling the ends of her manicured nails sink into my arm as she wrenches me off Christian like I'm some kind of plague.

"One would think you would be grateful to His Majesty for his benevolent generosity in elevating your previously non-existent status to that of a duchess," she spits with barely disguised contempt as she pulls me nose-to-nose with her.

"Get off me!" I grit, trying to shake her loose.

"Madeleine..." interjects Christian from behind me in a voice that I only heard him use once before... in the hallway at Ramsford when he realised that Drake had brought me back to Cordonia. "You overstep."

But the Countess of Fydelia seems to hear neither of us as she tightens her claw-like hold on me. "Yet instead, you repay him by not only by hijacking a royal event to serve your own shameless self-aggrandisement—"

I shake my head in disbelief. "Wait... Wh—?"

"—but then you have the unmitigated gall—"

"Madeleine," says Christian again, more forcefully this time. "That is enough."

But Madeleine is oblivious to the quiet threat suffused into the sound of her name, choosing to continue her tirade instead, "—to sneak off into the bushes with my fiancé in order to do God-knows-what when he should be—"

"I said, enough!" snaps Christian, coming suddenly between Madeleine and me with a face of thunder.

The force of his command is loud enough to cause a few heads on the edge of the lawn to turn curiously towards us.

Even Madeleine startles somewhat in response to the uncharacteristically vehement order. But not enough to let go of me.

"Can you not see what she is doing?" she demands indignantly as she turns to face Christian. "Or does she have you wrapped so tightly around her finger that you cannot even—?"

"How I choose to spend my time with the Duchess of Valtoria in private is of no concern to you, Countess," interjects Christian bluntly. "Or do I need to remind you of the conditions of our engagement?"

Madeleine's alabaster cheeks flush scarlet. "No..."

"Then I strongly suggest that you unhand Lady Harper, and ensure that this kind of juvenile outburst does not happen again."

Madeleine's eyes blaze with cold fury. But she relinquishes her hold on me, nevertheless. "My apologies, Duchess..." she snips, her voice dripping with insincerity.

I reach up to rub the spot where her nails had been on the verge of puncturing my skin.

Bitch...

Christian nods tersely in approval. "Now that that is sorted, I believe our guests are waiting. Lady Madeleine, if you'd be so kind..."

Madeleine takes his arm with a look that could've killed. "Of course, Your Majesty."

"Lady Harper," acknowledges Christian with a dip of his head as he starts to steer his seething fiancée away.

Knowing that all eyes are still on us, I drop into a quick curtesy as they walk past, on one hand grateful to Christian for shutting Madeleine down, but on the other hand wondering how badly we kicked into a nest of hornets in the process.

As it is clear that Madeleine is still raging with jealous insecurity... Perhaps even more so than she had been back at her manor when she cornered me in the bathroom. And the fact that — despite the massive diamond on her finger — I now technically outrank her is definitely not helping the situation!

So much for making allies at court…

Blowing a wayward strand of hair out of my face, I turn back towards the festivities…

…only to be greeted by a wall of judgemental eyes, and more than a few camera lenses.

"Great..." I mutter under my breath.

Whether catching me with Christian had been the genuine straw that snapped Madeleine's cool, or whether she deliberately fabricated the showdown to undermine the positive reactions I got from the press earlier, the end result is the same...

I'm going to be on the front page tomorrow. Again.

Exactly in what form, I have no idea. But I've been at court long enough now to know that the whole thing will be blown completely out of proportion, and the resulting story will generate even more press frenzy.

But if there’s one thing that Drake has taught me, it’s that I cannot allow myself to give the aristos the satisfaction of ever thinking that they’ve managed to squash me into the dirt. Because that would undermine the entire reason why I came back to court in the first place, and given how close we now are to claiming back the truth, it would be a massive and premature admission of defeat.

So, raising my chin defiantly, I make my way back across the lawn to rejoin the remainder of the Festival.

The story continues in Chapter 17 - News Flash

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thesargasmicgoddess · 9 months

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Today, I say goodbye to England...

**warning: emotions and ramblings ahead. 😆

I'm toasting the end of what I'm fondly calling my "2023 World Tour" 😆 I've been home for exactly 7 days since the end of May. I've traveled over 25000 miles over 7 weeks to Asia and England. I've packed and unpacked over 20 times and have been on countless planes, trains, and automobiles.

This last week, I've been overwhelmed with emotions I can't quite fully place yet--but they all seemingly revolve around an aching theme of feeling bittersweet about new and old experiences and longings.

(Well, THAT was a plot twist I didn't expect on this trip. 😂)

There are certain growths that can only be experienced through pushing beyond comfort zones. I was, surprisingly, stronger, less introverted, and more flexible than I ever expected. There were challenges and new things: the nostalgia of old friends and old haunts; the paying of respects to those that are no longer with us; the visiting of those I grew up with; the first time meeting of a longtime online friend.

As exciting as all of this travel has been, I'm ready for home. Maybe it's the absence of routine and home comforts, or maybe it's the mental shifts required for traveling this long and traveling alone, but I seem to be more emotionally vulnerable during this last week. That bittersweet feeling I've had all week hasn't wanted to let up, and I've been trying to chase down all the reasons behind this feeling.

Visiting places that had helped shape the person I am today, 22 years ago, is in itself, bittersweet. I remember 20 year old me thinking about the passions of the future and yearning for more. I've changed quite a bit, yet the buildings and memories remain. It is an odd feeling of time flying by, yet standing still.

I've pondered a lot about the magic of connections on this trip, juxtaposed with the blessed angst of being someone who feels too much. Every touch, every step, every memory, every feel--I want to capture it all like lightning in a bottle, yet it's almost too much to take in all at once some days. I tell myself to breathe, but sometimes I can't quite catch my breath because I feel so much. Wanting to live a full life can be quite overwhelming for introverted souls who feel too much, but I am so blessed to have the fortitude and opportunities to live fully--albeit sometimes a bit crazily 😆

When you think about the growth of a person throughout their lifetime and the range of intense emotions, experiences, thoughts--it's really quite amazing.

I know my blog hasn't exactly been on "fun smut" brand this last week, but I've always been authentic here. And what has been authentic this week has been....well...a lot of writing, emotions, and processing. I believe in balance-- and I believe that to each irreverent light fun side, there is a darker, more soulful, extremely sensitive side lurking right beneath the surface. I've definitely been more of the latter this last week.

If you've read this far, thank you. This was a needed catharsis for me and a step in processing everything.

So, where to go from here?

I'm not sure. It will take me a minute to mentally and emotionally decompress, unpack, and process all the experiences I've had over the last 2 months. My posts have always been mood-dependent and my moods have been all over the place so......stay tuned 😆😂

Since I can't do anything in a normal, typical fashion--I just have to go with the flow and say cheers to adventures and unexpected soul-searching vacations. I will still take living passionately and deeply over feeling nothing at all most days....

But a break for the rest of today might be a good idea. Or else I'm drinking on the plane.😂

After all this rambling, The Corpus Clock and all that it represents seems appropriate for this post 😂

Onward...

#ramblings and musings #england #adventures #my travels #all the feels #total infj moment 😂#cambridge #corpus clock

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mirageofadesert · 4 months

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Looking back on my first year as a c-drama fan!

This year I fell - first down a flight of stairs - and then (because I couldn't walk properly for a few weeks) down a rabbit hole of cdramas!

In total, I have watched 28 dramas since May. I actually finished 17 of them. I re-watched 8 of them at least once. My most rewatched show is Till The End Of The Moon, followed by Love Is Sweet and The Untamed!

Shows I loved

Till The End of The Moon: This drama triggered my hyperfixation, and I still love it so much. Tantai Jin became my new obsession.

Love is Sweet: This one surprised me because I don't usually care for romantic dramas. It made me more open to different genres.

The Untamed: I watched this for the first time in 2019, and now I can appreciate it even more.

The Sleuth of Ming Dynasties: It took me several tries to get into the drama because the political setting was too complicated. I'm glad I didn't give up. Wang Zhi became one of my favorites!

New Life Begins: I was just looking for something light in between and was quite surprised how much I liked the show.

Things I learned as a newbie:

Cdramas are an acquired taste. Sometimes it's worth going back to a drama that you initially gave up on.

To avoid spoilers, it's best to skip the intro and especially the outro.

I love my characters unhinged.

Apparently it is okay to share leaks from filming.

Never believe anything that comes from yxh accounts.

Shippers are toxic in any fandom.

C-drama fans are a bit older than K-pop fans, but they can be just as unhinged and have trouble distinguishing between how to treat actors and the fictional characters they play.

My ADHD is better regulated when I watch shows in a foreign language while reading the subtitles. I don't get bored watching TV, which is rare!

Shows I dropped, and what I learned from it:

Hidden Love: I still don't like romances that have no significant plot beyond the relationship. Especially if I don't care about the characters at all.

Back from the Brink: Sometimes dramas that start well become an unwatchable, rage-inducing mess halfway through, and it's not worth sticking it out to the end.

Beauty of Resilience: I'm a character-driven audience. If the characters aren't compelling and the story isn't interesting, I don't care about the show.

Ashes of Love: I hate childish FL with baby voices and naive personalities. I need better written female characters. I'm on my 3rd attempt to watch this show and I only have a handful of episodes left, so I'll actually make it to the end (eventually).

I've dropped a lot more shows and actually watched some to the end that I didn't like very much in the end, but those are the ones I learned the most from.

What will stay with me:

Tantai Jin: I'm still obsessed with this character. He is everything I need in a fictional character.

Luo Yunxi: This will come as no surprise to anyone who follows me, but my obsession with TTJ soon extended to Luo Yunxi.

Bai Lu & Sun Zhenni: While I appreciate both of them as actors, it's their fun and uninhibited personalities that made me fall in love with them!!

Costumes: I adore the detailed costumes and hanfu styles, and do prefer costume dramas to modern ones.

Food & drinks: I'm now looking into more Chinese foot now and how to cook vegetables in more interesting ways. I also bought "moon cake stamps"... so wish me luck!

New online acquaintances: I have made some new friends online who I can fangirl with to my heart's content!

What I'm looking forward to in 2024:

I'm really looking forward to Luo Yunxi's upcoming dramas, Follow You Heart, Shui Long Yin and Immortality (🤡). I'm also looking forward to Sun Zhenni's first leading role!

There are still many dramas I want to watch, but haven't found the time for. Like A Journey to Love, Goodbye, My Princess, Nirvana in Fire, Then Miles of Peach Blossoms and The Blood of Youth.

I'm not sure what else I'll post here next year. Probably more reviews and content related to my favourite actors. Let's see if something triggers my hyperfixation soon!

Happy New Year!

#cdrama

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errihaienx · 1 year

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Hello love and enjoy reading everything you wrote. I would like to request hehehe, it's abt hq characters and the things that they will do and reactions during their wife is in labor. ☺️

Hellooo, just like one of my previous works i am not quite sure who among all of the hq characters shall i write reaction on. so i used the same format with the characters i am familiar with! this request was almost a month old, i'm sorry T^T, but i still hope you'll love this as much as i did. (next update will be posted this week too! thank you for waiting૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა)

(REQ!)

quick disclaimer: these scenarios don't affect the original plot of the series. any information or events that contradict the original plot are purely fictional. (i do not own any of the characters) + Aged up!PostTimeskip Characters + Grammatical Errors

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀:¨ ·.· ¨: ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ `· . ꔫ HQ MEN REACTING TO AND DEALING WITH A PREGNANT WIFE DURING LABOR

Akaashi, Kita, Iwaizumi, Ushijima

Your husband prepared your pregnancy bag, he made sure to bring every medication you'd need to take. Although he was definitely excited, he kept his composure and gives you assurance. making sure that you're not alone on this journey.

"Hang on my love, you're doing great I love you so much"

he tried to ease you with his comforting soft words. not minding your harsh squeeze on his arms, you are in much more pain, this is nothing.

you huffed, your chest retracting, you never expected this. your months of preparation for this day was useless after all, you took your time watching labor videos online as your husband assisted you with all smiles.

"I-i c-can't," you managed to say, he hushed you while wiping the falling sweat on your forehead.

with your eyes closed, your obstetrician urged you to continue pushing harder, which you did.

"I know you can do this, you'll be a great mother, love. please hang on more.."

your cries were hard to see for him, oh he wishes not to cause you pain. he's upset that all he could do now is to wipe out your sweat, whisper comforting words, and endure your hard squeezes.

Kageyama, Sakusa, Osamu, Suna, Tsukishima, Kenma

He's way more anxious about it, he made sure to watch parenting guides from time to time when he knew that your due date was nearing.

and now that it was right in front of him, his mind went haywire, and he was completely clueless.

your whimpers tortured his heart, sure there were circumstances that he made you cry but this is different. you're very tired and suffering, you expected him to regret it so before your due week, you assured him that everything will be okay, your child will be the priority now.

"B-babe.."

you're too focused on the instructions of the doctor, you know that he's been calling you for a while now, though he couldn't form a complete phrase.

he's new to this, and so are you; it was difficult, and he's ensuring himself that he'll do his best to help you.

"I love you, our baby's gon appear soon hmmm,"

you handled to respond, gasping for air "O-our baby's gonna be born," emphasizing the word "born."

he laughed and held you dearly, his anxiety dissipating, you completely neutralizes him.

"You're doin' great, momma"

Hinata, Bokuto, Atsumu, Oikawa, Kuroo, Terushima

He was born for this, that's what he claims. and maybe, maybe you'll have to agree on this he was the one who's more excited, he attended parenting classes and shared what he learned to you but unfortunately he was a talking mess, he comments about everything, any second.

you tried your best to be calm, but hearing your husband's nonstop comments made you feel happy and irritated at the same time. happy because you'll know that he will be a great father. and irritated because it is evident that his noisy ass disturbs you and your obstetrician.

"M'love, i think i'm seein' my lil one," he exclaimed, oh come on, your child's head wasn't even showing.

you told him to shut up while torturing his hands by gripping on it. gosh, even in this times he could still make you annoyed.

"Dang, that looks painful i love you" he muttered as he hears you cry in pain.

hours after, he kept on saying sorry

"Baby im sorry! i caused you too much pain.." he softly says

you're very much tired to even answer him. he caressed your face, his smile could reach the skies.

"Wanna do it aga---"

suddenly you had the strength to give him a punch.

HIIII OMG SORRY I HAVEN'T POSTED IN A WHILE, IT WAS MY FINALS AND I'M STUDYING MY ASS OFF LMAOOOO. MY HELL WEEK IS STILL NOT DONE AND I SWEAR IT'S ME WHO'S DONE, KEEP SAFE EVERYONE!

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eusuntgratie · 21 days

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honey. what are you hoping to accomplish with that ask?

a couple things.

if your response to reading something that you don't like is to KEEP READING IT and then go bitch to the author that it's not your thing, that's a response you need to look at it. that's not normal behavior. you read 36k of a fic you don't like? do you not have anything better to do? and then you spent more of your time to come make sure i knew that you don't like it? only on anon, bc you know you're being rude and don't want to actually own up to your words. go find a fic you like! take a walk! make yourself a cup of tea! read a book! life is too short to spend it doing things you don't enjoy and trying to make other people upset.

it's really, really okay to not like something your friends like. or that people on your dash like. you don't have to read something just because 'everyone else' is. it's okay to say, you know what, i read the tags, or i read the first couple chapters, and its not for me. you're allowed to have your own opinion!

if an author tags a story, read those tags! disaster is literally tagged 'this is just mess and fun and porn'. i'm a little confused what about that led you to believe it would be plot-driven ��

lastly, DO NOT send unsolicited critique to writers. i did not post my story "online for people to review". that's not how this works. you need to learn ao3 etiquette if you want to exist here. fanfiction authors write FOR FREE and post their fics FOR FREE for people to READ. the ao3 comment box is for you to tell authors what you liked. it is not an open invitation to criticize someone's work who isn't getting paid and didn't ask for your opinion. if you'd like to review fiction, read some published books and get a goodreads account. if you'd like to read fanfiction, you need to learn how to interact here.

Not everything is for you, and that's okay. If there's a taynick story you'd love to read that isn't out there, go write it!

Before you send something that you know is rude, maybe take a breath and think about why. Life is difficult and the world is a complicated and scary place. Why not make it a little kinder?

#idk what to tag this lakjdsflkasdlkf #ben affleck smoking.meme

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rhoorl · 4 months

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Just a sappy year-end post you can continue scrolling lol…

I’ve written and rewritten this so many times over the past week. The words were failing me on how to sum up this year, so instead here’s a long-winded stream of consciousness:

There are so many things that now have a new meaning for me thanks to the last nine months.

Sequins. Donuts. Ties. Mirrors. Belt buckles. Snakes. Holsters. Back Alleys. Bakeries. Pickles. Landscaping. Gray sweatpants. Honestly, the list goes on.

At the start of 2023, I was soooo excited to watch The Last of Us. I was a fan of Pedro and Mr. Rhoorl was a huge fan of the game so it was like a win-win and something for us to watch together. Little did I know how much that show and Pedro’s subsequent SNL appearance would change the rest of my year.

I still laugh when I think about how long I spent lurking on the Pedro subreddit before I said anything. But little by little, my upvotes turned into me leaving comments and those comments led to me finding some pretty awesome people. Especially those who encouraged me when I threw out a random comment about how I was thinking of writing a fic of my own after consuming so many stories and feeling inspired (I read my first fanfic in March of this year!).

I remember going to the movies one day in the summer. I arrived early (taking solace in having some peace and quiet) and as I sat waiting for the trailers to start, I typed up the skeleton of the Working Title plot on my phone. Fast forward to impulsively creating a Tumblr account and feeling like the eldest millennial ever hoping I wouldn’t get laughed out of the room as I tried navigating this site and interacting with people and their posts.

Then a few weeks later, I was reading one of my favorite series (The Layover) and got this idea about an AU where the Triple Frontier boys start a landscaping business. I was so scared to message Megan about it, hoping she wouldn’t think I was completely nuts (well, maybe she does). I’m so happy I took that deep breath and hit send on that message. It was an uncharacteristic move for me, normally I’d just think ha that’s a funny idea and keep it to myself. But so much of the summer was pushing myself out of my comfort zone so I thought, why not?

Speaking of taking a deep breath and hitting send…who knew that the idea of hosting an online watch party would bring so many amazing people into my life? It all feels like a fever dream sometimes with how it all came together and I’m not sure how everything fell into place but grateful doesn’t even begin to express how it makes me feel.

I’ll spare you the story since this is getting long, but this year had many highs and many lows. And what really helped me a lot during these lows was a lot of you reading this. Thank you for the encouragement, the laughs, and the shoulders to cry on during those low days, along with the silly graphics and gifs that made me smile (or gave me thots). I’m a pretty reserved and closed-off person away from here, but this year I decided to get out of my comfort zone a bit and just … try.

I know I'll probably never meet Pedro (except in my dreams), but damn if I did ever meet him I would love to say thank you. Thank you for putting so much heart and soul into your performances. Thank you for inspiring creativity in me that I didn't think was there anymore and for inspiring others to bear their souls out onto the internet by way of amazing, heartfelt, and thot-tastic stories. Thank you for giving me a reason to meet people from literally all over the world. This place feels like a playground sometimes with friendships striking up in the simplest ways, like “Hey you like Pedro/this character/this very specific photoshoot/this gif? Cool, me too let’s be friends.” I am so thankful to have made some true connections and friends here that I otherwise would not have met.

(And finally, because I'm me, I’d thank Pedro for being so broad and having amazing hair…ok I wouldn’t actually say that because I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to form a sentence but dammit I would be thinking it that’s for sure!)

So to sum up, this year has been one of growth, of taking deep breaths, of silencing the little voice in my head, and hitting send, or post, or reblog. It doesn’t always work, but when it does, it’s magic.

If you made it this far, thank you. I’ve gone through a few tissues writing this so I’m going to wrap things up. I don’t really have a profound way to end this rambling other than to say I’m here if you ever want to pop by and say hello or yell about the latest Pedro photo. I know there’s a lot of discourse on here from time to time about various pockets/groups but I feel pretty lucky to have landed in a corner of this site that is supportive and full of love. There’s plenty of room around the table for us all and I wholeheartedly believe in community over competition. I can’t wait to see what 2024 brings.

xoxo Jess

P.S. At what point do we test the Emergency Alert System ahead of Gladiator 2? I’m going to need a wellness check.

Pedro tax for your troubles:

#tw: long post #tw: personal #year in review

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asexualbookbird · 6 months

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The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon ⭐⭐

I followed this book from it's conception, through it's editing, and hyped it's publishing date on twitter. I was genuinely excited to read it, and really thought and hoped I'd enjoy it. I wasn't a huge fan of what I read of The Bone Season, but everyone assured me this was different! And to be fair, it was! I think in my heart, though, I knew the truth because I waited so long to read this and I'm sorry to say I did not have a great time.

My problem with Samantha Shannon seems to be she creates these wonderful worlds full of interesting magic systems and characters that are fun to follow, but there's too much crammed into the book as a whole. In The Bone Season, I felt the Rephaim were unnecessary. In Priory there are too many points of view. There were things I liked, this wasn't a complete waste of time, but wow they were hard to come by in the end.

What did I like?

-Ead! Ead was clearly the main character and I think it would have worked better if it was just Her Book (I'd also settle for her and Tané, please Tané deserved more page time than she got) -Sabran. I'm surprised, but not really, that people didn't like her. She's complicated! She's mean! She loves deeply! She's a person! People just hate women who are mean lol -MAGIC! Magic comes from fruit that comes from the stars? It's fire and water and ice and air? NEAT! COOL! Cool magic systems seem to be SShannons strong point! -High fantasy with no sexual assault or threats of sexual assault. There was a little misogyny with the way Sabran and her line is treated for their ability to give birth (and no, one throw away line of "This is bad actually!" doesn't fix it lol) but it fit in context and considering no one was mean to women for being women I'll let it slide!

What didn't I like?

-LACK. OF. DRAGONS. yall there are dragons on the COVER, every time someone talked about this online, they added dragon emojis. So why, in the more than 800 pages, did dragons show up for maybe five pages TOTAL. Like if we went line by line and pieced all those lines together, it would maybe take up five pages. Ten if I'm being generous and include the dragons that are The Enemies. Which, by the way, -Dragons are Mean. I've discovered that I prefer dragons to be neutral to allies, I don't like dragon books where we are slaying dragons. It's nice that we have both here, no group of people? Creatures? Are a monolith, but I want more of the eastern dragons! They were pushed aside and we hardly saw them! We hardly saw any of them! If you promise me dragons, then deliver! The! Dragons!!!! -Writing style. I'm thinking maybe SShannon's writing style and I do not vibe at all. I'm not sure what it is about it, I know she doesn't like writing action scenes and so avoids them, and I love reading action scenes, but that didn't feel like the entire problem here? But something about this writing detached me from the characters. Yes I liked Ead, but I felt nothing about Tané, other tha wanting MORE of her. SShannon spent a lot of time saying not much at all, it's really rather impressive. -Tané in general. Part of the writing problem is the way the POVs were split. It was most obvious in Tané's storyline. She has everything stripped away from her, but the emotional impact wasn't there because we hardly spent any time with her. -The Priory. The book is named after it, but we're hardly there at all. I spent a good chunk of the first half wishing Ead would go back to the Priory, but once she was there, I wanted her to leave. The Prioress' motives also seemed iffy to me? Ead was right, why spend nearly ten years trying to keep Inys afloat and then go "actually! Nevermind! Let it burn!' -Plot....holes? Not so much holes but Convenient Plot. I was ready to ignore some of it, suspension of disbelief and all that, but nah I"m going to be picky now! The scene that stuck out the most was Ead being chased and hunted down and CONVENIENTLY wyrms attacked her pursuers and she was the one who got away. Or how about Niclays at the LITERAL LAST MOMENT deciding to have a change of heart because......plot has to move forward? Also. What the fuck happened to Ishari lol Tané noted Ishari was disappointed to be sent to Feather island, but said she hoped their paths would cross again one day! And then! Tané goes to Feather Island! And NO MENTION OF HER AT ALL! Or how abut Loth learning a VERY BIG VERY IMPORTANT PIECE OF INFORMATION ABOUT THE NEIGHBORING KINGDOM AND THEN NO ONE MENTIONS IT UNTIL NEARLY THE END LIKE "OH YEAH BTW THE PRINCESS THERE IS COOL LOTH SAID SO" -Wrap Up. I didn't really mind the final Big Fight. I know even fans of the book have been disappointed, but honestly it's one of the strongest stretches of the book, even if it was a little hard to follow at times. What bothered me was after. I know I tend to be impatient when reading the final chapters of a book, the What Happened Next bits, but never have I been so annoyed as to have to read a wrap up from the POV of someone who WASN'T EVEN CONSCIOUS. I suppose it's better than a book where a single first person POV character is knocked unconscious mid battle and then the next scene is "and then everything was over" but come ON.

I know she had to edit this book down a LOT, which. Girl. It's 800 pages how was there MORE. So maybe my questions were answered in things that were cut, but I could not physically handle any more of this book. I got fatigue from her writing, I cannot handle more of it at once, but considering how long it takes her to finish a book (not a complaint! Everyone has a different pace!) I also would not have wanted to wait that long for a conclusion. There's no winning for me here. We were simply not meant to be. It's just that if I'm going to read a book that takes hundreds of pages to say nothing at all by an author that puts out a book once every few years at best, I'd read VE Schwab or Patrick Rothfuss.

#bookbird babbles #book reviews #my review #books #booklr #the priory of the orange tree #tpotot #LOOK AT ME POSTING REVIEWS AGAIN #WITH A NEW HEADER AND EVERYTHING #I think i accidentally used the same or similar fonts as last time lol #but hey! I like them!

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bfiaflbox · 5 months

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So this is how it starts - Chapter 1

Pairing: Matty x original female character Warnings: drinking, smoking, swearing; mentions of: misoginy, cancer (in the past), infertility Disclaimer: some of what the ofc is experiencing is rooted in my lived reality, however I lie for plot purposes a lot. I draw inspiration from things that I read somewhere or that actually happened to me or my friends. It's not proof read and English is my second language so there's either too many commas or not enough commas.

The line connects.

"Hey, are you still at the restaurant?"

"Yes, we just ordered. Is your date already over??" Carly is on the other line.

I let out a breath "yes..." I'm a tad annoyed.

"That bad?"

"Worse"

"Come over, I'll text you the address, then you can have a few drinks with me and the boys and tell the whole story"

"Fuck, are the boys there as well? I really don't want to ruin your guys' night with my moping"

"you're not allowed to mope, just recount the story of your horrible date in great detail, maybe someone will offer to break his legs or something and we'll all laugh about it. Ross' girl and Charlie are here as well. I'm sure nobody will mind, right?" Carly raises her voice a bit as to ask her company rather than me and adds "See, no objections."

We hang up, my phone chimes with the address of a restaurant in Soho and I'm on my way. Great, now I have time to overthink. Until a few minutes ago I was under the impression that Carly was offering me to crash the end of her date night with Adam. The thought of having to socialize with a whole group of people makes me slightly nervous.

When I arrive I spot the group at the back of the restaurant. The fact that there's an empty chair right next to Carly reserved for me doesn't go unnoticed and I make my way over there.

"Hi everybodyyyyyyy, I'm Hannah" I awkwardly greet the group. I don't know why I find it awkward. Sure, I'm friends with Carly (and Adam for that matter), I have met the rest of them at some point or another, and on the few occasions I met Adam's bandmates they've been nothing but nice and welcoming. I'm greeted with a round of smiley hello's, Carly is the only one who gets up to hug me and I'm grateful for that. I can really use the hug but I'm happy the rest stay seated and don't make a massive commotion. I plop down on the chair next to me and let out a breath. What a fucking nightmare of an evening.

It doesn't take long for a waitress to arrive. "Can I get you anything to drink?"

"Yes, I don't know..." I'm momentarily overwhelmed and kind of tired. I look around at what the others are having and just choose the first thing I see "I'll have a glass of wine just like that one, thanks". The waitress nods and leaves.

"Ah, the Malbec, good choice" the man I know to be Matty comments. I laugh and shrug. I have met him a few times, once at Carly and Adam's wedding, a few times when I was visiting baby Hann but I never really had a full conversation with him. I know he's fun, I know he's a bit weird in a good way, I know he's been to rehab and I know he travels a lot.

"I know shit all about wine so I hope you don't let me down!" I jokingly reply before Carly interrupts.

"So tell me everything. Why is this date over after just an hour?"

"Urghh I had to leave before the main course arrived because that guy was being outright rude and disrespectful. I'm never doing online dating ever again! He seemed so nice in his profile but the real him was a total let-down. I mean, at the beginning the conversation was okay-ish, first date-ish, smalltalk, you know? But then after we ordered our food he asked me: 'so how many kids do you want to have?'" I try to imitate a typical gym-bro while saying that "Like, not *if* I want to have children, no, he asks *how many* as if it's out of the question that I want to have kids. Well, I then told him that I can't have kids because of the whole cancer situation and do you know what he says???" anger is rising in my chest and I'm probably talking too loud but I don't care. "He just asks me 'Well then why are you dating men?' and I'm just sitting there like..." I'm temporarily out of words.

"Oh wow, are you serious? What an absolute asshole!" it's the reaction I expected from Carly but to my surprise it's Matty who chimes in.

"Right?!?" I reply.

"As if the only reason to seek human connection is to reproduce." he scoffs

"EXACTLY?! He then continued to tell me that he's a 'high value man' - whatever the fuck that's supposed to mean- and that he has to spread his DNA or some bullshit and that if I don't plan on having kids I shouldn't try to snatch a fertile man off the market or some shit. The whole experience was uncomfortable, misogynistic and probably homophobic"

"Fucking hell, I'm sorry you had to go through that" I just look at him and bam, I'm in love. Wait, no, I'm not in love with Matty, I'm just impressed by his emotional intelligence that I'm not used to in men. At least that's what I tell myself.

The waiter appears with my glass of red wine and I take a huge gulp. I don't really want to process what's happening right now.

"Yeah, dating in your 30ies isn't fun. I'm probably gonna die alone. And I'd actually hugely prefer dying alone to spending my time with an idiot like that." I continue. That earns me a light chuckle from Matty and a stern "you're not going to die alone! I won't let you!" from Carly.

The wine in combination with no dinner goes straight into my bloodstream and takes some of the anger and agitation away. I'm calming down and I find myself enjoying the company. The conversations flow easily.

"Right, smoke break. Anyone?" Matty asks the group around the table.

"I'm still good, mate, nobody can smoke as much as you" George laughs and nobody seems in the mood for a cigarette.

He gets up and I suddenly decide that I do indeed need a smoke break. Do I smoke? no. Do I want to stand in the slightly chilly evening air and watch a handsome stranger give himself lung cancer? absolutely yes.

"I'll join you!" I grab my coat and follow him out of the restaurant.

In front of the restaurant he fishes a pack of cigarettes and a lighter out of his coat pocket. He takes one out and goes on to offer me one. I wave my hand in decline and add "thanks, I don't actually smoke". He looks at me confused, almost offended and then just chuckles.

He lights the cigarette "why did you join me for a smoke if you don't actually smoke?"

"I just felt like I needed some fresh air"

"If you want some time alone with me, you could just ask me on a date, you know?"

"haha, very funny" I retort

"I think it's kind of cool that you came here, and that you're angry at that twat and not yourself"

"What d'you mean by that?" is what I say and internally I'm like what a weird fucking thing to say.

"I don't know how to explain that but often people go on a shitty date and afterwards think there's something wrong with *them* and not with the other person who was being a dick. It's kind of cool that you're kind of pissed at that asshole and not drowning in self pity"

"Rrrright. Thanks, I guess?" I laugh and he starts laughing as well.

"Sorry I sometimes have thoughts that make total sense in my head and when I try to say them out loud I sound like a total loser."

"Don't worry, I get it!"

We stand in silence for a few moments after that. I enjoy the fresh air which just emphasizes the buzz from the wine. I feel warm in my coat and relaxed.

"So what's the cancer situation?" he asks

"'xcuse me, the what?" I'm a bit confused

"You said earlier that you were unable to have kids because of 'the cancer situation'" he makes air quotes with the cigarette between his fingers and I can't help but find that really cool. "but I just realized it's not really any of my business, I'm just curious, you obviously don't have to tell me"

"Oh... Oh yeah, I had ovarian cancer when I was 14, they had to take everything out. Turns out that I have a gene mutation thing that had me at a very high risk of getting breast cancer, so I got a preventative boob job out of that as well"

He looks at me for a few seconds and then just drily says "Oh fuck!"

That's a new reaction, it's refreshing. Usually the reaction I get from people is pity, which I hate because I don't really mind my situation. I'm fine. I‘m healthy, I have a good job, great friends, fun hobbies and most importantly: I'm alive!

I'm a bit tipsy, my mood has significantly improved and so I add "I mean I'm happy the doctors were brave enough to do all that because as I learned today I have a lot less value as a woman if I can't produce babies" I roll my eyes and chuckle. He smiles but apparently doesn't find me particularly funny in this moment.

"I hope you don't really believe that"

"Of course I don't actually believe that. I was trying to make a joke. But I guess I don't have to tell you about jokes that don't land, Mr. Meta"

"Mr. Meta, oooooh I like that nickname, please never use it again" he laughes and infectious.

I love this. I find myself craving... him. I wonder how warm his hugs feel but before I can get lost in that train of thought he stubs out his cigarette and holds the door open for me.

The rest of the evening is spent getting to know everybody a bit better, getting even tipsier and hearing funny stories from the band's latest leg of the tour. After the bill is paid and everybody makes their way out of the restaurant the group gathers on the sidewalk in front of the restaurant to say their goodbyes. I hug Carly and Adam, enthusiastically wave to the rest. Before I have a chance to turn around and be on my marry way, Matty asks "Which way are you going?"

"Just down the street to the tube station"

"Mind if I walk with you? I'm headed roughly in the same direction"

He seems like a guy who has the funds to take a cab but I guess he's a grown man who can make his own decisions, so I just say "sure" and can't help but smile.

We say goodbye to the group and head towards the tube station.

Chapter 2

#matty healy #matty healy fanfiction #matty fic #Matty x female! character #i don't know what this is #matty Healy fanfic #matty healy x oc #adam hann #the 1975

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dokidokiliteraturegirls · 7 months

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Hey everyone! Feel Less will be going on a short hiatus... but we're not going anywhere!

Allow me to explain~

So, I gave a similar explanation last time, but because I'll be introducing some new characters, I need some time to finish all the art. I thought I could do it last week, but the extra week I took only allowed me enough time to finish Anna's sprites and cutscene graphics from the latest update, which I hope you enjoyed~ but I have to be honest with myself, and admit that in order to finish everything I want I need to take way longer than just 1 extra week.

You see, things in Feel Less are about to get fuuuuuuuuuucked up real interesting! [REDACTED] isn't the only character that's getting introduced you know~ The Some Things Are Better Left Unknown story route includes at least 3 other characters that could potentially join the party! And they're not gonna draw themselves lmao. Besides the new characters, there's also some very important story beats that are coming, which will also require original art. I could of course do everything with the sprites and backgrounds, but that'd be sacrificing some of the quality of the comic, and I don't want the story to suffer just to get it out on a self-imposed deadline, you know? This is not to mention the backgrounds needed for the new locations so... yikes! This is definitely gonna take longer than a week! Especially because I have a job besides posting comics online (sadly, I wish I could just do this full time aslkdmakldmml 😭)

Another important thing to note is that we'll be disabling player interaction for a bit, at least until all the important story points have been covered, which I think should be the next 3 updates.

Now, what do I mean by "we're not going anywhere"? Well, because this blog won't be going radio silent until everything's done, like I used to do in the past! I'll be streaming most of my art process on my twitch channel! I usually play games on there, but I'm going on an Art Stream Marathon until all the art for Feel Less has been completed! (I really, really want to prioritize this. Neon White can wait.) For those of you who don't know, I stream every Thursday and Saturday from 2:30 pm EST, to around 5:30pm. I'll be posting links to the streams on this blog every day I do them, so come say hi! 💖 There will be slight spoilers for character designs, but not plot points, so dw~

I want to close by saying that, to be completely honest, I never enjoy putting my works on hiatus. Keeping momentum going on a webcomic is difficult, but I have to make sure Feel Less is 100% something I can be proud of and not a rushed product. There's some cool stuff coming, and I want it to have the impact it deserves.

As always, thank you all so much for your support! The fact that you guys take the time to read my webcomic makes me so happy~~ 🥰 Also, important to mention that while the story's on hiatus the inbox will be wide open! So feel free to send questions and stuff, I'll still be here~ See you all soon!!!

-Yui Wrong 💖

#announcement

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itwoodbeprefect · 11 days

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12, 27, 42, 46 for the fic writer asks

12. How does receiving or not receiving feedback/support impact you?

i could try to pretend that it doesn't matter to me if people read my stuff or not, but that would be a lie. i think maybe it's more... by this point i've had years and years of posting fic and people being extremely sweet and kind and encouraging about it, and that has absolutely had an impact both in terms of keeping me posting more fic and the ways i view my own writing (and how i view myself, i think, especially pre-ao3. i'm pretty sure people online telling me i was funny played a not insignificant part in building any sense of self-worth as a deeply awkward kid irl in high school), and having all of that history and experience, at this point i have the luxury of not caring about the numbers that much. comments are always very awesome, but if any particular fic would end up getting ignored completely for whatever reason, that's okay. i'm not writing for max engagement (i've made some hilariously terrible decisions lately if that's what i'm going for), but that doesn't take away that people being excited about a thing i made remains a really really nice benefit to how the fandom ecosystem works.

though i will also note, i don't think there's a single thing wrong with wanting or needing feedback or support to your writing. i frequently feel extremely spoiled in that regard, because i've been around for so long and my output in that time has been so high on average that i know people know my name, and i also write pretty easily digestible uncontroversial stuff generally speaking no matter what fandom i'm in at the time, so the responses i'm getting are oftentimes not the average, and i'm very aware of that. it's much, much harder getting started in fandom.

27. What is your most and least favorite part of writing?

ooooh. i mean, most favorite is easy, and probably a fairly universal answer, which is that moment when the writing flows nicely and it feels right and i get to put down at least a few paragraphs in a row (maybe even more!) without it feeling like any effort at all. least favorite is probably the opposite - when it just Won't Work, and every sentence feels clunky and awkward and overwrought, like there's just no way to bridge whatever tiny gap in a story i'm probably trying to fill at the time. the goofiest thing about that is that when reading things back later there's often not too much actual difference between the quality of the writing when it feels good vs. when it feels bad, because the problem is in my head, but it's also my head that needs to do the writing, so that doesn't make it less of an obstacle.

42. What’s the last fic you read? Do you recommend it?

Centrefolds / Distal Breaks by @redgoldblue, which i read because @redgoldblue wrote it, because i would absolutely recommend anything written by @redgoldblue.

46. How would you describe your style? (Character/emotion/action-driven, etc)

ha, anything but action- or plot-driven, i think. characters, emotions, characters having emotions, emotions to explore characters - that's my wheelhouse.

and on the topic of writing style: i've gotten a comment a few times (as a compliment! nothing bad about this) that said something to the effect that my writing is pleasantly economical or sparse, which frankly baffled me for a while, because right from the very very start i was writing mostly about relationships (whether friendship, romance, family), and not very much really happens in my stories (the traditional way, action or plotwise), so from my point of view almost everything was fluff and just sort of... not superfluous, and definitely not meaningless (there's a lot of meaning to feelings!), but a sort of deleted scene extra part to canon. those are some of the first responses i got to my work: i can't believe i read this many words about almost nothing happening, and i really liked it! so filler, i guess, might be the best word for it, and obviously "all of this is filler" and "this is a very economical use of words" is inherently contradictory, except, well. is it? it took me a while to, i guess, internalize, that when the goal is feelings and exploring characters, doing that in an effective way is going straight to the point.

Get to know your fic writer! 🔎

#thank you!! 💖#*#ask #ask game

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distort-opia · 3 months

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Op, since you seems to like mdzs (idk if you like others mxtx novels), then do you like other chineses novels?

[hands shaking over the keyboard] Ha. Do I like other Chinese novels, you ask... I am literally in Chinese novel hell right now, because I just finished reading all official translations of 2HA and foaming at the mouth.

I've been reading Chinese novels for a long time (and watching Asian dramas of all kinds, and reading manga/manhua/webtoons). I'm not even sure what I started with when it comes to Chinese novels, but I'm pretty sure it was something by Priest... either Guardian (Zhen Yun) or Silent Reading (Mo Du). Then I rampaged through all three big MXTX novels, all before The Untamed even came out. The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation (Mo Dao Zu Shi, or MDZS) is definitely my favorite; I would raze the earth for Wei Wuxian, much like poor Lan Zhan.

I'd have many good novels to recommend, but this answer would end up incredibly long if I reviewed them. Here's some of the ones I liked most:

Peerless by Meng Xi Shi

Remnants of Filth by Rou Bao Bu Chi Rou (Meatbun)

The Dumb Husky and His White Cat Shizun by Rou Bao Bu Chi Rou (Meatbun)

Mist by Wei Feng Ji Xu

Little Mushroom by Shisi

However, if we're talking about personal favorites that I've read more than once, besides MDZS... it's definitely Thousand Autumns (Qian Qiu) by Meng Xi Shi. I've never found a novel with a dynamic that is so... distilled Psychopath & Autistic, and why these kinds of personalities can work together-- despite it being perceived as toxic. Yan Wushi is a horrible, horrible old man and I want to affectionately invent new ways of torture for him. The plot is basically him (leader of a demonic sect) trying to break and corrupt Shen Qiao (the leader of the most revered sect who had recently gotten betrayed and lost everything). It's literally Yan Wushi constantly going "Don't you ever wanna go feral, don't you wanna go apeshit??" while Shen Qiao just refuses to go evil. But the immovable object falls in love with the unstoppable force despite all the horrid shit thrown his way. And then the unstoppable force also falls in love with the immovable object.

What are some of your favorites though? I'm always open to recs... as I restrain myself from hunting down the last volume of 2HA online and wait for the official translation from Seven Seas to come out :)

#...yes I know. Yanshen follows my preference for ships to a fucking t. it needs no pointing out #in my defense all the other novels have different dynamics!!#asks #chinese novels

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thefrogdalorian · 4 months

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It's New Year's Eve and I just wanted to share some mushy thoughts about life and Mando and Din and how this year has been overall for me!!

If you don't want to read below the cut I just wanted to wish you a Happy New Year!! I hope you have a wonderful time, whatever you do to celebrate. I'm currently on a trip so I may not be terribly active, but if you're struggling and the emotions of the day are a little too much, please do message me. I've been there plenty of times. You're not alone. NYE should really be about looking to the future rather than dwelling on the past, but I know how easy it is to get caught up in that depressive loop of thinking.

But if you do want to keep reading, then strap in for some Oversharing Online and gushing about how much Mando means to me:

I first started watching Mando during the pandemic in 2020, I think the first episode released like 2 days after the UK went into lockdown or something. 2020 was an awful year for me, as I'm sure it was for so many of you. A lot of things happened to me that I'm still trying to process but I hope to start therapy in the new year and go some way to addressing it.

Anyway, The Mandalorian came to me at a time I dearly needed it. It was welcome relief from The Horrors I was experiencing. I was hooked pretty much straight away, who was this mysterious man? What were his intentions? Was he good or bad? OH WOW THAT WALK. THAT VOICE!!! I loved it, but it wasn't until The Believer that everything changed for me. It went from enjoyment to full-blown obsession. I couldn't wait until Season 3 aired, and I think the expectations I had built up in my head could never have lived up to the reality of what I felt upon watching it for the first time. I was pretty disappointed most weeks, but I feel so differently now.

This year has been pretty strange for me. I had some amazing highs (like being able to go to Star Wars Celebration where I got to see so many amazing Din and Mandalorian cosplays which was an INSANE experience and I still kind of haven't properly processed yet??) and also some difficult lows.

In June I finally got my autism diagnosis, something I'd been essentially waiting for for EIGHT YEARS. It was a huge shock but also not shocking at all. As in, I knew I was autistic since being a teenager but I was absolutely not expecting to be told right there and then at my assessment. So when the psychologist looked me in the eye and told me that I was autistic it was somewhat of a gut punch. Processing it was extremely difficult but during that time I found myself drawn back to Mando and particularly to season 3. I rewatched it again and again fell in love with a season that I'd probably felt on the whole underwhelmed with at the time, until the last two episodes, which I loved instantly.

When rewatching it, I noticed things that I'd missed before, which led me to become kind of obsessed with the idea of Din and Bo together. I know not everyone enjoys that but that truly is what I love about media, that we can all watch a similar thing and interpret it differently! I don't think I'm any more correct about the way I view certain interactions than anyone else. Shipping should just be a little fun, not ruin your mental health or dictate how you treat strangers on the internet. And it especially should not lead to any real world harassment of creators and actors.

So in September an idea formed and between then and November a 182,000 word fic landed in my lap. That's the best way I can describe writing it for me, I was so fixated on finishing it and the plot just kept coming the more I wrote. It is by FAR the longest thing I've ever written and probably ever will write, but the routine of writing it and publishing it helped claw me out of a spiral I was in after my diagnosis.

And it was publishing it on AO3 that gave me the confidence to rejoin a fandom space again. It was a big step for me to put myself out there but I'm so glad that I did because that's what led me here, to discover this wonderful community who adore Din and The Mandalorian just as much as I do. I'm so happy that I finally found my way here. It was way less intimidating than I ever thought it would be!

I know that I haven't been here for the longest time, I wish I just got over my nervousness and made a tumblr earlier in the year so I could have joined in with the hype before season 3. But also considering how poorly received the season was overall, maybe it was for the best that I wasn't here.

Despite my relative newness here, I just wanted to say how welcomed I've felt and that is a truly lovely feeling. Thank you so much to everyone who has interacted with any of my posts and especially my writing in any way, big or small. It means a lot to me! I cannot wait to be around for all the buildup to Season 4, honestly. I know it seems so far but after midnight we can say it's (probably) only NEXT YEAR!

I have no idea what 2024 has in store for me. That doesn't scare me, in fact I'm quite excited about not knowing what will happen. I

Of course, I have some goals I'd like to achieve for myself but whatever happens, I know that Mando will be there to endlessly rewatch and whatever comes my way, I'll always have Din Djarin. He's the only man to ever exist! That gorgeous tin can who instantly soothes me every time I get to watch his silly little exploits with his silly little son. Where would we be without him, eh?

Anyway, whatever you're doing tonight to celebrate and even if you aren't, I wish you all the best. Stay safe, enjoy yourself and I'm sending you lots of love and light for the year. May 2024 be a healthy, happy prosperous year for you and your loved ones.

See you in 2024!

Love,

Spud 🥔🐸

#text post #a little oversharing on the internet as a treat #actually autistic #i basically just love din and all of you here THANKS for welcoming me to a space where i can just rant a lot and you all support me djdjdj #just autism things #i wrote this before i went away lol #but i still feel every word!!#almost midnight for me 🥺🥺🥺

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rmbunnie · 7 months

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Watched through adventure time start to finish for the first time and of course it was great and of course I'm going to be drawing fanart at some point in the not-distant future (can't say near tho lmao school is keeping me busy) but my god the finale. I already knew the plot points tbh because i Am Online and Like Cartoons and if both of those things are things you are, you see the bubbline kiss and Finn saying "I always thought i'd go out a hero" and that's pretty much unavoidable, but what really got me was Time Adventure.

I saw someone on Twitter or something, maybe on here, say that the antagonist of Adventure Time is personal stagnation, and it was a comeback to someone else, but it really is true that from season 7 on the show starts leaning Realllllly hard into Growth as the topic the show's about (and season 7 is like. a pretty noticeable line for this switch tbh, NOT that the first 6 seasons are unimportant to the final end point, but the change is visible.) This is especially clear seeing as Gumbald and Fern, who refuse to accept growth and change to a unique extent, and are incapable of personal growth due to being an outgrown past version of the mc held that way indefinitely by a grass curse, respectively, are the main antagonistic forces of the final season. (Betty also counts as both an antagonistic force in the finale and unable to accept growth to me seeing as she was the reason Golb was summoned and, I mean, Temple of Mars is ABOUT her being unable to grow on an internal-beliefs level despite accepting the magic of the future as an external tool, so that checks both boxes, but i'm not sure of the overall Betty opinion and also she isn't the main point.) What I'm getting at is, with the major emphasis on changing as an individual, Time Adventure is especially poignant to me, because outside of being a (still very good) meta song about the show ending, in the context of the show it reads as a song about how sad growing as a person is when you're the person who's changing, and how it would be great if you could just. always be a 12 year old kid in the first season who doesn't understand that there are problems that can't be solved and fights you can't win, who can always go back to his treehouse at the end of the day. And how with the passage of time, it's inevitable to change, but at least that kid is and will forever be in season 1, even as the only physical version of himself from the past blows away in the wind as he asks to go back to a place that's now rubble. This isn't exactly breaking news but still, in a show that leans so hard into the way maturing means changing as a person the final message being "it's hard to be a new person and lots of things ARE lost forever but all past versions of you that you can no longer be exist in the past and aren't going anywhere" instead of like, "woohoo! Maturing is neat! Look at how much everything has improved!" is really good. Idk it just kinda means more really knowing that they're sad about the change.

#adventure time #come along with me #adventure time meta #maybe?#i don't think i need to tag spoilers for this one #to be clear this was over the course of like a year it wasn't a weekend activity #but i watched seasons 5-10 since august because I got particularly into it again #which #is not an insane pace or anything #but i kinda just went “yeah its been a while time to go for it”#also gotta say right now fern is the davesprite of homestuck #i could elaborate a lot about fern but i don't think it would fit here #i could elaborate a lot about betty but i don't think it would fit here and also idk if it's a controversial take or not #she's pretty well written i am not saying she's a bad character #all i'm going to say on this one is that being “normal” at the beginning and being tragic do NOT equate to being particularly heroic #like her though #I am definitely going to be saying more on her post fionna and cake

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astradrifting · 1 year

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Hi! Were there any perspectives in the ASOIAF fandom that made your eyes roll? If there are, what made you say so? Thanks!

[mostly written in 2021, and posted very late. Sorry nonny!]

woof, this could open up a can of worms. I'm almost afraid this is a bait ask but I'm also very willing to run my mouth online about ASOIAF, and I love making fun of dumb theories, so let’s go!

Every time someone says that Jon and Dny are the song of ice and fire, my soul dies a little. Enough said.

I also hate the idea that parallels between ASOIAF history and the events of the books don’t matter. Not to state the obvious, but Westerosi history isn’t real. No part of it actually happened organically, GRRM has manufactured all of it, so everything must have been written with a purpose. I don’t buy that it’s just all world-building, because if parallels are obvious to us, they must be a thousand times more so for the man actually writing it all, and the army of editors who are probably helping him keep it straight.

There is absolutely no way that anything about Jonnel ‘One-Eye’ is a coincidence. Half-brother to Rickon Stark is obvious enough, but then we have his mother. Lynara sounds very similar to Lyanna (side note: a jonsa baby named Lynara would be adorable), but the real link is that she was born a Stark - all of the women on the family tree are listed under their maiden names. Her relation to her husband Cregan isn’t specified; it would have been so easy to have her be from another random house, or even a Karstark, yet what George wanted to convey is that Jonnel has a Stark mother, as well as a Stark father who happened to be heavily involved with the Targaryens.

Another fun thing linking Jonnel to Jon! Jon’s first relationship was with a red headed girl, who claimed that they were married because he’d stolen her. In the same conversation where she’s called half fish…

“You know nothing, Jon Snow. I’m half a fish, I’ll have you know.”

“Half fish, half goat, half horse…there’s too many halves to you, Ygritte.”

(ASOS, Jon V)

this conversation is already jonsa gospel as foreshadowing because of “half-fish”, but the horse part was always a little strange to me. As far as I remember, they didn’t have a prior conversation about her loving horses or riding particularly well, so that was seemingly out of left-field.

Well Jonnel’s second wife was a Ryswell - their sigil is a black horse’s head with a red mane.

pictured: the jonsa agenda winning again

The idea that Stannis will take Winterfell isn’t as personally annoying to me, all these dudebros have very detailed, tactics-based reasons to believe he’ll win I’m sure (something about a nightlamp?), but I just think it doesn’t do anything for the narrative, nor does it make sense with either his arc or Jon and Sansa’s.

Winning Winterfell will put Stannis in a position of strength, give him a base of operations in the North that’s not on loan from the Night’s Watch, and would probably lead to most of the Northern houses swearing allegiance to him, as Manderly has already promised to do. Why would a man in that position ever choose to burn his daughter, his only heir, alive? That is literally one of the few guaranteed book plots we have, so IMO speculation about Stannis all needs to work backwards from this end point; it’s ugly and horrible, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to stomach reading it, but it’s the only ending to his arc that makes sense.

Kinslaying reoccurs time and time again in Stannis’ arc. Kinslaying for his own personal benefit, no less. In his first appearance in ACOK, he listens to Selyse suggest that he kill Renly, then stands by whilst Melisandre kills Maester Cressen, his surrogate father. Cressen raised him and loved him like a son; yet if he had killed Melisandre instead, Stannis would have lost the power she wields for his benefit, the main reason he has a chance at the throne. Later in the book, he implicitly allows his brother to be murdered so that he could gain the Stormlords that had rallied to Renly instead of him (anyone trying to argue that the shadow wasn’t technically Stannis so technically it wasn’t kinslaying will be put in the naughty corner for excessive pedantry). In ASOS, he’s willing to sacrifice his nephew, an innocent 12 year old under his guardianship. He says it’s for the realm, for duty, but really it’s for his destiny. What is the life of a bastard boy against a kingdom so close to his grasp?

It’s escalation. Each time so far he’s had a layer of deniability, but he’s not going to have that in the end. Ordering Shireen’s death himself, murdering his daughter in some desperate bid to secure victory over the Boltons, will be the final step off the cliff. Maybe he’ll have some military victories before that, smarter people than me have no doubt discussed the parallels to the Greek myth of Agamemnon sacrificing his daughter Iphigenia, but I have no doubt Stannis’ story is headed only towards tragedy.

….Turns out that I do have a lot of feelings about Stannis. But to get back to my original point, Jon and Sansa taking Winterfell back together, travelling through the North doing the work and proving themselves as worthy rulers, makes a lot more sense for their future roles in the story than Stannis winning it all for them. It’s also much more affecting and thematically resonant, so I refuse to believe D&D entirely made up that storyline.

I also inevitably end up rolling my eyes whenever I'm bored enough to go onto r/asoiaf, there's always a bad take right on the front page. One that annoyed me enough to go into @istumpysk’s inbox and kickstart my jonsa blogging was one asking what the point of R+L=J even is, because it never amounted to anything and just muddled up J/D being “the song of ice and fire”.

While it gets so close to the point that it’s funny, there’s no way the “song” is going to boil down to a relationship, let alone JD. I would almost buy Jon and Dænerys being the song of ice and fire if Jon actually were just Ned’s bastard, all ‘ice’. Hell, if he really wanted to make a relationship the song of ice and fire, he could have cut out the middleman and made Jon a trueborn Stark from the start - make them starcrossed lovers from warring families, truly ice and truly fire. Utterly boring, but thematically coherent at least. A major point of Jon’s character is that he is both - and something a lot messier than that besides, as a bastard.

It's not all bad on r/asoiaf though, when I went back to look for that post I saw another about how the Titan of Braavos is a Pacific Rim-style mech that will come to life to fight any dragons coming to the city, a theory that I will be championing from this moment henceforth.

Wait, nevermind, in that same thread someone said that Jaehaerys is the sexiest Targ name, so r/asoiaf is immediately cancelled again. That's another fandom perspective that makes me roll my eyes, the idea that Jaehaerys is in any way an acceptable name, especially as Jon's ‘secret’ name.

This 👏 is 👏 Targaryen 👏 propaganda 👏

Just look at it!! How do you even pronounce that? The hill I will most definitely die on is that this name is ugly.

#astra rambles #me throughout this ask: AND ANOTHER THING #my own stannis take does hurt me somewhat because for a while fanon stannis was /my/ boring little man #however then I read the books and didn’t actually like him much lmao #jonsa #anti stannis baratheon #anti house targaryen #anti daenerys targaryen #anti targaryen stans #just covering my bases #meta #within all the rambling at least #jesus this is long #I cut out another terrible r/asoiaf post I was ranting about because it’s seriously been a year since I started this

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piglii · 9 months

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Just finished Misericorde volume 1! Putting this all under a read more but I'll drop a quick spoiler-free review, followed by a spoiler-full review followed by just some of my theories regarding the mystery elements.

Everything below the cut!

Spoiler-Free Stuff:

I really enjoyed it. The mystery still needs more pieces before I'll feel like I can confidently say anything for sure but I have some ideas brewing. I'll be pretty psyched to move into the heavier mystery elements, this first volume definitely feels more focused on getting to know all the characters (which I like! I like pretty much everybody in their own way but I do want to give a special shoutout to Hedwig for being a main character that I actually really enjoy, which is pretty rare for me. She is insanely relatable on a personal level I wasn't expecting.)

And the art style's nice! I really like how the nuns are all basically wearing the same thing but have such distinct faces and tones that you can usually tell them apart. I definitely have my favorites (Aside from Hedwig herself... probably Darcy, Katherine, Moira, Eustace in that order but I really do like all of them a lot.) Also the music is pretty good. It's very fun and dynamic. I've re-listened to only a couple of the songs from the soundtrack outside of reading the VN itself but I particularly like the song that plays in the intro and Glass Chapel, which plays very early on and is probably the moment I really got interested in the story.

It's hard to give too much more away in this section without spoiling stuff but suffice to say I really enjoyed it so far. I'm hoping I can get more people to read it cause I really wanna talk about the characters and mystery and such. But I recommend. Here's the steam page if you want to check it out for yourself.

The only real criticism I have so far is technicaly, and it's that there's an audio cue for people knocking on doors that sounds extremely realistic with my headphones on that almost made me jump out of my seat several times, which I don't think was necessarily intentional? A less realistic knocking sound effect would... definitely be appreciated, that shit freaked me out like every time.

As for story criticisms, I prefer to wait until something is actually over to say anything. There could be something early on where I'm like "man that seems like bad!" and then 2 volumes later it could turn out to be a purposeful plot element or an interesting subversion of expectations. And then I would look very silly. Not that I really do have a lot to say plot criticism wise because it's early on, but I'd definitely like to see how it all shakes out first.

Anyways, more stuff below. SFW Sasukes to save your virgin eyes from spoilers.

SPOILERY STUFF

I really do like Catherine II. Love a good "character who is not physically there but had such tremendous gravity on the setting that their departure is still being felt as everything gets bounced back around from the lack of weight." In particular, her intro talking to Hedwig (which I revisited just a couple nights ago, streaming it for a friend) really grabbed me.

I would say Hedwig's whole lifelong predicament of being an Anchoress will definitely strike home with people like me who are kinda uuuhhhhhhhh extreme homebodies. I definitely feel like Catherine II's brief relationship with Hedwig is pretty analogous to people who've made many of their friends online - never actually getting to see or touch them but still having them impact your life all the same. In particular, when you've spent most of your life alone. Not to be too personal or anything but I've only really recently had long-time internet friends move close enough to me to be in regular driving distance in the past few months and it's led to more social interaction in the span of a few months than I usually get in years, and I can definitely relate to Hedwig's confusion about everything. But I do find her really charming as a main character. Her constant feeling of not feeling like she belongs even as most of the sisters are trying to be kind to her in their own way make me wish I could pop open an ice cold ginger ale for her. Maybe hand her a GBA SP and watch her go crazy on Pokemon Emerald, I don't know. I just find her very moe.

I definitely have a lot more to say about this topic but I'd feel like it's kind of personal to just drop in the middle of this all so I'm gonna keep it to a minimum with just that previous paragraph. Suffice to say, Hedwig has been one of the most enjoyable protagonists for me personally in a long while. I usually prefer lesser known side characters but she just really grabbed me.

Anyways.

It had a lot of little moments I love. Everyone's characterized in a way that really makes them stand out - in particular, I do feel like literally everyone at this the abbey in some way either Have Problems or have been rejected by society for some other reason. Pretty much everybody here is a reject or an outcast and despite their bickering, the nuns do generally make an effort to show they care for eachother. Which, you know, if you're a tumblr user reading this I'm sure you will find something there. You will probably see a particular character and go, "Oh yeah, I know someone exactly like this personally." I do love a good story about people who are generally outcast by society getting to know people that care about them and understand them in a way the rest of the world wouldn't exactly. It's gud. Nothing terribly novel but I think it's executed well, which is the important bit.

I do have some smaller thoughts on stuff but nothing terribly important enough to write out here, so instead I'm just putting a compilation of some of my favorite little moments, followed by theories.

(I promise this game isn't an eroge or anything, it just has one single hot tub scene. It's tasteful. Prommy.)

Anyways.

THEORIES:

Theory #1: Regarding Catherine II

I haven't actually seen that many people talking about the prologue which is surprising to me because it obviously seems to be setting up a really big plot element, which is that I presume one of the women at the abbey are the character only labelled as "The Handsome Man" in disguise. Having gotten caught up in the War of the Roses and all that fun stuff, I assume he flees to the abbey to lay low for a while. Now I assume part of the story will unfold such that you'll be led to assume that it's one of the cast we've already gotten to know... but my money is that this is Catherine II. Now, I can't say for certain if this is going to lead into any kind of trans-ish territory because it is the 15th century, but I could definitely very much see a path where this story presents a person living in this time in an era where it wouldn't be accepted to be trans, and have that essentially be part of the plot without saying it directly. I think this would go a long way towards explaining her absolute fervor for living life and finding something that brings you joy that she tried to inspire in all of the other nuns. I can imagine a scenario in which the Handsome Man has to go into hiding cause of political reasons, shows up at this abbey disguised as a nun and finds that they actually enjoy it incredibly, and essentially does the 15th century version of transitioning. If that is the direction the story is going, I think that'd be sweet, though it would be kind of sucky in the respect that the whole story kind of revolves around her murder.

That being said, I don't think she was murdered. I straight up think Eustace is lying in the near final scene we get at the end of Volume one. My current theory is that Catherine II is, and I'm not sure how to say this well, doing some Scooby-Doo villain ass-shit in regards to the monstrous apparition we keep seeing. My only guess as to why she would do this is out of fear of being recognized in the midst of this war, and deciding to go even deeper cover as the boogeyman of this creepy old abbey. Theoretically, if Catherine II in her Scooby-Doo ass disguise could frighten everyone out of the abbey, then she'd have free reign of the place until the war was over. It'd be a much safer position to be in than trying to actively disguise yourself as a nun. In this theory, I would also have reason to believe that she's the one who carved that evil looking sigil near Hedwig's cell, to discourage her even more from looking into the mystery. It would be a great parallel to Hedwig's dilemma vis a vis being alone and in peace versus having to be around others and living with a sort of constant discord. Like, if Catherine II makes the choice to ultimately go into permanent solitude, hiding by herself for the rest of her life while Hedwig chooses to do the opposite (I'm holding out hope that the finale will have her choosing to leave her cell again. Committing some double-dipping on that particular sin, hell yeah), I think that would make for some interesting, opposite-bound character arcs. You know, some criss cross. With the character arcs.

ALSO: Side note, I think the person that Hedwig is talking to at the very beginning post one year timeskip (who, you know, is kind of a stand-in for the reader but whom I assume is an actual character we know of) is, I think, Catherine II herself. I can't think of anyone more fitting to be filled in on all of the details, given that the majority of the other characters would already know most of what's happened. Also, it would mean getting a fun little scene to parallel the first scene we got of them getting to know eachother, which is still probably my favorite scene in this whole VN so far.

Anyways, I think the best evidence I have to support this is how touch and go Catherine II was with her friendships (and maybe more than friendships...?)

She'd get close to people by taking an interest in their hobbies... get to know them pretty intimately... and then maybe privately grow fearful that they'd discover her secret and move on to someone else. That's my best guess, anyways. Perhaps she just has severely undiagnosed ADHD. But it would track considering that she seems to be knowledgeable about several areas that I don't feel like you're average commoner would know - how to play music, playing chess, etc etc. She had all these crazy talents and a very sharp mind, and it wouldn't be strange to know a commoner that could do one or two of these things, but it really does seem like Catherine II had a working knowledge of many things, which would make sense to me if she were raised to be a person of higher status.

I think maybe the only character that was in the know was probably Eustace herself given that she mentions they were the two that were closest. I can definitely imagine a world in which Eustace is still actively collaborating with Catherine II, thus her very lurid story about carrying Catherine II's severed head. This would, naturally, implicate Moira as well since Eustace mentions that they both personally handled Catherine II's body, a story that I think might just be a total fabrication. I'm not 100% sure that Moira is in on it but it's a little more likely, I think. It would also parallel the scene in which they stop by the village, with Moira and Eustace stopping to have a quick whisper that upsets Hedwig, when in fact they're just trying to cover for her little surprise party. The concept of them having secrets that upset Hedwig, but ultimately exist for a good reason would be really fitting. This little exchange would be kind of a microcosm of that, in this theory.

At the very least, if this specific theory isn't correct at all, I do still strongly believe that there are multiple conspirators.

THEORY #2: Regarding the Sword

So this one's a little more vague and I haven't quite figured out a way to slot it into everything yet, but I feel like it's worth mentioning. I do think there are two swords at play, which would be a really good way to liven up the mystery. I think the investigation of the mystery will reach such a point that it simply doesn't make sense for there to have been only one sword as the murder weapon - my only real reasoning is based entirely on this biblical quote spoken by Eustace:

"And they said, Lord, behold, here are two swords. And he said unto them, It is enough."

Which makes sense for the context of the situation in that they are literally splitting up to find Flora. But also, if it were a direct reference to the fact that there are two swords that could be the murder weapon at play, that would be a really funny to put such a direct hint in plain Latin so early on, just right in front of the reader's face.

If this theory is correct, I do think it'll be more relevant once we get into the nitty gritty of investigating the murder itself. The real nuts to butts of who was doing what, where and when. I think things will present themselves in such a way that it will have been impossible for the murder to have been committed with the sword... unless there were secretly a second sword, for some reason.

Wait also it just occurred to me that Angela keeps a dagger (the eponymous Misericorde, right? I think?) and that definitely could've been the weapon used to inflict the smaller wounds on Catherine II before the decapitation. Hmmmmm. Much to think about.

THEORY #3: Regarding Romance

This is very vague and probably not a surprise but I'm quite sure that at least two of the nuns are in a relationship. I'd imagine this will play into the actual mystery somehow, but I could not tell you specifically how. I'm not sure I could even really name you who specifically (Besides Katherine and James' thing, obviously but that's already been revealed.) But, like, come on. Look at these.

I'm not particularly good at eke-ing out romantic subtext but I feel reasonably confident about this based on vibes alone. Also based on the Soup's very uuuhh heated rant near the end. I have nothing more to say on this theory because I assume it's direct relevance will be more apparent later (if this is correct.)

THEORY#4: If Catherine II WAS Actually Murdered

So pretend for a moment that my first theory is completely bunk and I am way off course. In that case, I don't think I have enough evidence to put together a reason that someone would want to murder Catherine II - given how she kind of flitted about from person to person, I can definitely see jealousy being the primary motivator. But I would be surprised if the motive were as simple as just that. I think I might actually just need more textual stuff to look at whenever the second volume comes out to really put out any kind of further guesses. There are a lot of angles and a lot of people who would technically have reason to want to murder Catherine II. It could end up being a "everyone is in on it" or a "no one is in on it" type of deal.

That being said, my top guesses as to the culprit are:

#1 - Mother Superior - Basing this entirely on vibes, brother.

#2 - Moira - She's simply way too sweet. As much as I personally like her, Moira's been very present in Hedwig's journey towards personhood and I wouldn't be super surprised if part of her motivation for doing this was to keep tabs on her murder mystery investigation while presenting a kind face.

#3 - Flora - Given Flora's consistently been the one most often to fly off the handle, I could potentially see this but don't consider it terribly likely.

#4 - Catherine II herself - It would not be totally inconceivable for the story to go this kinda dark route, though how exactly she would both injure herself, followed up by a self-decapitation in such a way as to hide herself as the perpetrator, I don't know. Then again, she was a talented woman, who knows.

#5 - The Devilish Apparition - If this is in fact not one of the other nuns playing at something, then sure, why not. I'm not of the opinion that this story is going to have actual supernatural elements but like, why not. Just throwing it out there.

And that's mostly all I have to say!

Heads up, I'm not very good at solving mysteries! I miss a lot of details and sometimes don't think of things through all angles! Sometimes I just do a vibe based reading and let the story surprise me, but having read Umineko recently (which very directly does kind of ask the reader to try solving the mystery for themselves) I am taking a more serious attempt at figuring out the key to this story before it actually happens. Sorry if I'm totally off base on some of these, but with my shotgun scattershot method, I usually hit at least one or two small things of note. Thanks if you read all the way to the bottom for this, I don't typically write out long ass posts like this but I had a lot of fun trying to figure this one out and can't wait for more people to read it, as well as for Volume 2 to come out.

If you haven't bought Misericorde but for some reason felt compelled to read through this whole post anyways, here's another link for you to go check it out! It's like 9 bucks on steam! If you were interested enough to read this spoiler-review, it'll probably be worth your time!

And if you do finish it... be sure to check out that gallery afterwards! ;)

#my posts #Misericorde #this is a bit longer than I meant it to be but oh well #tl;dr: I liked it a bunch

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