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zooophagous · 1 year

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So why do you hate the advertising industry?

Hokay so.

Let me preface this with some personal history. It's not relevant to the sins of the advertising industry perse but it illustrates how I started to grow to hate it.

I wanted to be a veterinarian growing up, but to be a vet you basically have to be good enough to get into medical school. I do not have the math chops or discipline to make it in medical school. I went into art instead, and in a desperate attempt to find some commercial viability that didn't involve moving to California, I went into graphic design.

I've been a graphic designer for about seven or eight years now and I've worn a lot of hats. One of them was working in a print shop. Now, the print shop had a lot of corporate customers who had various ad campaigns. One of them was Gate City Bank, which had a bigass stack of postcards ordered every couple months to mail to their customers.

Now, paper comes from Dakota Paper, and they make their paper the usual way. Somewhere far, far from our treeless plain there is a forest of tall trees. These trees are cut down and put on big fossil fuel burning trucks and hauled to a paper mill that turns them into pulp while spewing the most fowl odors imaginable over the neighboring town and loads the pulp up with bleach to give it a nice white color.

Then the paper is put on yet another big truck and hauled off to the local paper depot, then put on another big truck and delivered to my print shop, where I turned the paper into postcards telling people to go even deeper into debt to buy a boat because it's almost summer. The inks used are a type of nasty heat sensitive plastic that is melted to the surface of the paper with heat. Then the postcards are put on yet ANOTHER truck and sent to the bank, which puts them on ANOTHER truck and finally into the hands of their customers, who open their mail and take one look at the post card and immediately discard it.

Heaps and heaps and literal hundreds of pounds of literal garbage created at the whim of the marketing team several times a year. And thats just one bank in one city.

I came to realize very quickly that graphic design was the delicate art of turning trees into junk mail.

And wouldn't you know it there are a TON of companies that basically only do junk mail. Many of them operate under the guise of a "charity," sending you pictures of suffering children or animals and begging for handouts and when they get those handouts the executives take a nice fat cut, give some small token amount to whatever cause they pay lip service to, and then put the rest of the cash right back into making more mailers. "Direct mail marketing" they call it.

Oh but maybe it's not so bad, you can advertise online after all. Now that there's decent ad blocker out there and better anti-virus ads usually don't destroy your computer anymore just by existing.

Except now when I search for the exact business I want on Google it's buried under three or four different "promoted search items" tricking me into clicking on them only to shoot themselves in the foot because I searched for the specific result I wanted for a reason and couldn't use those other websites even if I felt like it.

And now we have advertising on YouTube and on every streaming service, forcing more and more eyes onto the ad for the brand new Buick Envision that parks itself because you're too stupid to do it on your own.

Oh thats ok maybe I'll get Spotify premium and go ad free and listen to some podcasts- SIKE we have the hosts of your show doing the song and dance now. Are you depressed and paranoid from listening to my true crime podcast about murdered and mutilated teenagers? That's ok, my sponsor Better Help can keep you sane enough to stay alive and spend more money.

It's gotten so terrible that now you have content farms, huge hubs of shell companies that crank out video after video to get more and more precious clicks. Which if the videos were innocuous maybe that wouldn't be so awful except now you have cooking hacks that can actually burn your house down and craft hacks that can electrocute you being flung into your eyes at the speed of mach fuck so some slimy internet clickbait jockey doesn't need to get a real job.

It of course goes without saying that animals are also relentlessly exploited by clickbait companies that will put them in compromising situations on purpose to create a fake fishing hack video or even just straight up killing them for sport by feeding small animals to a pufferfish that rips them apart for the camera.

And all of this, ALL of this doesn't even touch how adveritising is the death of art in general. Queer topics, any kind of interesting art, any kind of sex or substance use topics are scrubbed clean and hidden at the behest of advertisers.

Sex education, a nude statue, topics such as racism or sexism or bigotry in general have tags purged or hidden from search, even life saving information about SDTs or drug use, because if someone saw that and complained then Verizon might sell fewer tablets and we can't fucking have that.

Conservative talking heads often bitch and moan that they're being censored on social media. The stupid part is, they're right! They are being censored! But it's not by a woke mob, it's by ATT and Coca Cola not wanting their adspace sharing screen time with their stupid fucking opinions.

However, they won't ever figure that out, because the talking heads they get their marching orders from like Tucker and Jones ALSO rely on the sweet milk flowing from the sponsorship teat and they aren't about to turn on their meal ticket so they have to come up with even stupider shit to say for the train to continue rolling.

I managed to rant this far without even getting into the ads I see for the beauty industry. The other day a botox ad described wrinkles as "moderate to severe crows feet" as if wrinkles are a symptom of a fucking serious disease! Like having a flaw in your skin is a medical problem that you need thousands of dollars of literal botulism toxin to fix! I was incandescent with anger.

Advertising is a polluting, censoring, anti educational and anti art industry at it's very core. It destroys human connections, suppresses human thought and makes us hate our own bodies. It ads no value, actively detracts from value, and serves no real purpose and I believe it should be almost if not entirely banned.

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gothhabiba · 4 months

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Gaza has an urgent need for more e-sims as of December 31, 2023, according to organizer Mirna El Helbawi:

[ID: Tweet by Mirna El Helbawi (@Mirna_elhelbawi) reading: Bad news bad news: We are RUNNING OUT OF ESIMS! Please donate! #ConnectingGaza @Connectinghu_". An image is attached with text reading: Take a clear QR screenshot and send it to: [email protected]. Nomad (regional Middle East); Mogo (Israel); Holafly (Israel); Simly (Palestine); Airalo (Menalink / Discover)." The tweet was posted at 6:25 AM on 31 December 2023 from Porto, Portugal. End ID]

Gazaesims.com has a breakdown of how to purchase and send e-sims using different services.

Also see @blackpearlblasts's guide on how to purchase e-sims, including discount codes.

If you aren't confident with ordering an e-sim for yourself or can't afford a large plan (the largest plans on the apps currently being called for range from $40-69 USD), you can send funds to Crips for eSims for Gaza (donate link here) or to me (venmo @gothhabiba; paypal.me/Najia; cash app $NajiaK) and we will combine your funds to purchase and send e-sims to the Connecting Humanity team. It is better to purchase large plans if possible, since many people sometimes use one person's phone as a hotspot. It takes the CH team less time to connect people to plans that last longer than to repeatedly connect them to smaller plans.

If you sent an e-sim in October, November or the first two weeks of December...

...and it has not yet been activated (you will not get an activation e-mail from the CH team; you will need to go into the app and check your plans to see if any of them have been activated), reply to the e-mail that you already sent.

See this guide on how to tell whether an eSim you sent has been activated or not (and, if you've purchased multiple plans on the same app, how to tell which one has been activated).

#palestine #action #esims #image described palestine

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heartfullofleeches · 8 days

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"Special Delivery!"

Yan Adult Flim Star Pizza Boy + Reader

[Mentions of food tampering]

Delivery? You didn't order any delivery.

Opening your front door by a crack - the smiling, chipper face of a delivery person greets you on the other side. The glow from your porch light reflects off his braces - bright eyes wide with enthusiasm as you open the door further. It's hard gauge your exact height difference with those heels he had, but he as things stood now he still had a couple inches on you. Those didn't seem like they'd be the most appropriate thing to wear for his occupation - neither did the micro shorts cutting into the flesh of his thighs. Reaching that same conclusion towards the work tee cut off at his stomach - you finally note the pizza box in his hands.

"I didn't order any pizza."

The stranger giggles, slapping a hand over his mouth as if you had just told him the funniest joke he'd ever heard. "Of course you didn't. It's on us. A thank you for all your... support."

Have you ordered from this place before? There's no name on the box. Curiosity peaked, you lift the box's lid. Sure enough, a hot, fresh cheese pizza awaits inside though there's some kind of sauce stop it you don't quite realized. It's far too runny to be mozzarella cheese. You run a finger through the gooey substance, quickly placing it in your mouth as it starts to drip.

It's salty - with a vaguely sweet aftertaste.

"What kind of sauce is this?"

Heat rises to the boy's face - blush visible on his freckled cheeks. "Alfredo sauces."

Interesting. "Wait here one moment."

Smiling, you take the box from him - retreating back into your home. The stranger's eyes follow your every step, drifting further down the farther you walk. Should he come in now? This is the longest set up he's been apart of in a while. You did tell him to wait.... But that ass of yours felt like it was calling to him.

"Here you go."

"Huh?"

Leaning against the doorway, you casually bite into a slice of pizza as you hand him a few crumbled up bills and some change.

"Should be about ten dollars all together. Like I said, I wasn't expecting a delivery so this was all the cash I had. Thanks for the pizza. Have a safe trip home."

The door shuts gently in his face. You were even kind enough to send him off with that. The heat burning his cheeks travels throughout his entire mortal body as he falls to his knees, the biting cold the least of his worries now.

You really didn't order any pizza. You weren't his client, the winner of that competition he set up for reaching one million viewers. That pizza.... Oh, god- You had no idea- Somebody kill him now. He should tell you, but it's too late without sounding like a total freak now. He could never show his face to anyone after such a mistake.

Your face, however.... That confused grin on your face was the cutest thing he'd seen in a long time. Not to mention that little show he got while you were off getting his tip. You were still under the believe he was just another delivery boy....

Maybe he could use that to see you again?

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere headcanons #yandere imagines #yandere insert #yandere blurb #male yandere #yandere scenarios #yandere oc #yandere drabble #yandere male #brie my oc

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cashfreeapp750 · 1 year

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Cash App The Pros, Cons and Features of The Popular Payment Service

#We want to help you make more informed decisions. Some links on this page — clearly marked — may take you to a partner website and may resul #see How We Make Money.#Cash App is a peer-to-peer payment service that’s catching on fast. Cash App grossed $385 million in 2020 #representing a 212 percent increase in profits from the year before.#“Cash App is a relatively strong option for sharing cash and its other functionality. It’s not too different from Zelle #Paypal or Venmo #” says Ray Kimble #Founder and CEO of security firm Kuma LLC.#More and more Americans are using computers and smartphones for our banking needs. About 65 percent of Americans are expected to bank onlin #Cash App might do the trick #but there are some drawbacks. Here’s what to know about Cash App before signing up.#What Is Cash App?#Cash App is a mobile app-focused money transfer service. You can send and receive funds directly and quickly #like you could with PayPal or Venmo. But Cash App features a few other functions as well.#Aside from transferring money #Cash App will provide you with a bank account and a debit card #which you can use at any ATM. You can even invest in stocks and Bitcoin through the app. Some of these services are free #so there’s no guarantee that you’ll get your money back if something goes wrong.#Cash App has been around since 2013. It was originally called Square Cash #in reference to Square Inc.#Cash App’s parent company. Square Inc. was co-founded by Jack Dorsey of Twitter.#cash management #cashapp #cashforscraptrucks

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sweetfushi · 2 days

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toji fushiguro who is known for his stoicism and sarcastic remarks, surprising every single person he knows when he indulges in your cute hobbies and dedicates 99% of his time to you with no real complaints. this giant, muscular man is seen finally cracking a smile around none other than his girl, having a polaroid of your beaming face in his wallet that he stacks with cash to ensure he can pay for your plushies and endless requests for food and coffee/boba runs.

he has a small pochacco keychain dangling from his keys. he'd prefer to not have someone mention it but when they do, he smirks - his scar stretching - when he's reminded of how eager you were to give him another item to remind him of you. "you're too cute, mama," he chuckles, softening at the sight of you gazing up at him with sheer excitement to see him cherish your gifts.

when he hugs you, he doesn't slack. he doesn't just wrap an arm around your shoulder, he pulls you into his chest and rests a hand on the back of your head, the other encircling your waist as you cling to him. the height difference allows him to rest his chin on your head, but he prefers burying his face in the crook of your neck to inhale your scent and feel you as much as possible.

toji fushiguro who's heard laughing every time he is with you, the deep tones of his voice sending a rush of heat through your face. sometimes he snorts at your bad jokes, ruffling your hair and shaking his head with a grin. he hates admitting it, but he loves unwinding around you, and it's something that everyone else notices too.

#i love him your honour #jjk x reader #toji fushigruo x reader #jjk fluff #jjk toji #jjk headcanons #jjk drabbles #toji fushiguro #toji x reader

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hannahmanderr · 9 months

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I see your increasingly eldritch ghost form for Danny, and I raise you:

Phantom who, instead of looking more ghostly, is just a little too much like a human.

Like yeah, everyone knows Danny Fenton can send literal chills up people's spines and they swear they've seen his eyes start to glow in the right light, but have you seen Phantom? Like why isn't his skin green or blue or even deathly white? It's a lot healthier looking than Fenton's, that's for sure.

And just about every ghost that comes through has crazy sharp fangs, but if anything, Phantom's canines are just a little sharper than normal, but really they don't look too different than Wes' when he's on one of his rage induced rants.

Not to mention the physical presence he has in Amity Park. The way he inhabits space just feels different than most other ghosts, as if Phantom is somehow more connected to the physical world. Like why is he opening doors when he can just phase through them?

Kat, who works the after school shifts at the Nasty Burger with Valerie, swears up and down that she's seen him sitting on the roof, eating two or three burgers at a time (and sharing his fries with the little blob ghost family that lives in the dumpsters).

Dale knows for a fact he's seen Phantom talking on a cell phone of all things with someone. Even claims he heard Phantom mention something about playing DOOMED.

Mrs. Greigerit, the tiny old lady who's cashiered at the grocery store since forever, loves to talk about the time Phantom grabbed a few first aid supplies off the shelves after a ghost attack to help a woman and her toddler patch up until EMS arrived. According to her, he knew exactly how to work with these things meant to heal humans, and he even left a crumpled handful of human cash on her counter to pay for the supplies before he disappeared.

Amity Park notices, just like they notice the strangeness that surrounds Danny Fenton. But really, maybe it's just AP weirdness finally rubbing off on Phantom.

Everyone brushes it off until Jack and Maddie Fenton do the unthinkable and offer their help to Phantom after a particularly nasty fight.

"We saw him there, and... we saw just another person who needed help," Jack tells Tiffany Snow later that day. "A kid who could've been going to school with mine. What else were we supposed to do?"

#danny phantom #danny fenton #amity park #headcanon #hannah rambles #idk ive been seeing a lot of art that has just ghostlier and ghostlier danny #which is great don't get me wrong #but it makes me wonder why skew all of danny to the ghost side #when you can skew one half in one way and the other half in another?#and i love cryptid-esque danny fenton #so why not have uncannily human danny phantom?

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1-800-say-less · 3 months

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Can I buy a pic or video?

If the price is right...

Dm me.

#anonymous asks #be different send cash #$notortillasforu #fuck around and find out #ask box

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fuckmyskywalker · 4 months

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ani sleeping w his stepdaughter cause her mom wouldn’t put out, but he tells her it’s okay because technically she’s half her mom. so he’s not cheating.

— 18+. Smut. Dead dove do not eat. Stepcest/Fauxcest. Afab!Reader | Fem!Reader. This is sick.

— a/n: I don't know who the fuck you are but I want to kiss you. I am. Speechless. (not proofread, it is 3 am).

It was hard for him to take his eyes away from you to start with. He was supposed to be a good role model— to make up for the father you never had… and yet, he was finding himself down on his knees for you. You wanted money to get your nails done? Stepdad!Anakin is handing you the cash. You want a new skirt you saw online? Send the link to Anakin so he can get it for you. You want to relieve that uncomfortable itch that boys your age simply cannot alleviate? Oh, your stepdad is more than happy to help.

There was always a small doubt at the back of his head; you are… well, his wife’s daughter. It could be described as «logical reasoning», but Anakin is— probably— physically incapable of not thinking about you the way he should be thinking about his wife. Sometimes it brings him pure spite, even disgust… but when you are so close— yet so far, can you really blame him? Despite his years, Anakin is insanely attractive; those silver strands mixing with his blonde curls, the small wrinkles around his tired blue eyes, even those strong, hard-working hands that rest on your waist when you greet him after a long day of work… Yeah, can you really blame a man?

He has to share you with his wife, and despite being something normal, he doesn't like it— but he doesn't know it, or at least hasn't thought about it. Anakin just dislikes how you cling to your mother, it being justified. She raised you alone, she gave you the life you have— he just walked into your life and your mother’s house to make everything more perfect than it already was.

Maybe it is an insult to your mother’s intellect and integrity to… fuck you, but, can you really fucking blame Anakin?

Anakin loves how willing you are. How you are so eager to fulfill the hole your mother is slowly leaving. Late nights at the office and poor daddy is all alone… you sure needed to step up and help him, right? And it is only fair, he gives you everything you want! So you might as well pay him back somehow, right? Right?

A man has certain… urges. Everyone knows that.

You know that.

And if he is married to your mother, and you are— practically half, is it even cheating?

Because it should make you feel guilty, because his cock has no right nestling inside your tight pussy in a way that has you touching the sky, fisting your sheets and moaning his name while your phone buzzes next to your head with a miserable text that reads: «Honey, I'll work extra hours tonight, tell Anakin to buy some takeout.»

“Ignore her,” Anakin groans, pushing your head against your pillow. He pulls your hair too, yanking your head up enough to hear your moans, but low enough for your tears to be eaten by the pillow. Crying on the bed is something girls do all the time, so if your mother sees it, it would be easy to explain. “Focus on me, princess. Does it feel good?”

You nod dumbly, sometimes it seems like your brain decides to take a break every time his cock slides in. “Uh-uh,” You mumble, drool trickling down your mouth.

“Good girl. Don’t think about her. It’s her fault anyway,” Your stepdad grins, slapping your ass for good measure. He likes how responsive you are— so different from your mom. She barely makes any sound. “You feel so fucking amazing, way better than she does.”

The backhanded praise makes your stomach swirl with little butterflies. Daddy complimented you! That’s lovely. That sure fills the void inside your heart. All you wanted your whole life was approval… and now, you have the most perfect, most caring, most attentive man in the universe to give it to you.

So, naturally, you beg for more. “Yeah?” It’s a breathless weak question, but it makes Anakin’s smile grow wider. “Do I… I feel better?”

“A hundred percent, doll,” Anakin purrs, looking down your back, licking his lips already savoring the taste of your sweat, biting them when he sees your ass bouncing and thighs giggling. “I might as well divorce her and marry you instead.”

#𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 anya answers!#anon #stepdad!anakin #stepdad!anakin skywalker #anakin skywalker #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin skywalker smut #anakin x reader #anakin x reader smut #anakin skywalker x reader smut

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steddielations · 17 days

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- nsfw, age gap, rockstar Eddie, drummer steve

Eddie should not be wearing a plug here.

It’s stupid. It’s reckless. But that inner voice that led to decades of being stupid and reckless says it’s fine, it’s just for Eddie. Steve doesn’t have to know, unless he wants to find out.

It really is just for Eddie. It’s more for confidence than kink. It’s a trick he learned back when he was still getting comfortable on stage, back when he could still handle the fast life. Started way back when he was a teenager, dear old dad made sure to turn his talent into cold hard cash.

Now here Eddie is, way too many years of coping with drugs and never any therapy later, retired rockstar doing the whole studio owner mentoring baby rockstars thing. Someone’s gotta keep rock and roll alive so long as Eddie’s still kicking.

So the first thing that comes with years of being stone cold sober is realizing he spent too much time on the road and in the closet, not enough time growing roots so he’d have someone to settle down with when he stopped being so afraid of it.

The second thing is a dick that doesn’t work half the time because maybe if someone told him doing drugs would land him limp-dick at 40, he would’ve stopped sooner. The third thing is that he’s going to die alone with his floppy dick and trust issues.

So with the wild life Eddie lives nowadays, it’s no surprise that a couple smiles and smooth words from a good looking young drummer sent him into a spiral.

Steve’s a session musician, an independent guy that looked good on paper and even better in person. He’s got more heart and grit than the last few ‘frontmans’ Eddie tried to get something real out of. Steve knows it too, the way everyone does at 28.

He’s got the same cockiness in his skills as Eddie, but he knows he’s more than just his skills in a way that Eddie wishes he could’ve known at that age. He’s confident enough to make his own suggestions to Eddie, calls him old fashioned and he’s smooth about it, strikes up debates about music and he’s fucking sassy about it.

Eddie’s gotta be under some kinda spell to be considering Springsteen is one of the greats like Steve insists.

It’s not just because Steve’s younger, there’s always been girls much younger than late 20s trying to get with him for his name, status, money. Bless their hearts, maybe if he was still 20 years deep in the closet. It’s not just because Steve’s a guy either, there’s plenty of young guys now that dare to bat their eyes and call him Daddy and want to get fucked.

No, it’s because Steve’s different. The opposite, even.

Eddie slips up and calls him sweetheart once and it’s like Steve was just waiting to open that door and let every babe and handsome and honey slip out from his lips.

He notices Eddie checking out his biceps as he’s banging away on the drums once and sends him a wink that nearly makes him flatline.

He’s not intimidated to get in Eddie’s space. He has no reason to ever be in the control room, but Eddie doesn’t question it when Steve’s close, leaning over him with a warm hand pressed to the small of his back for one second. Eddie’s so hot faced and flustered that he gets his long hair caught in some of the board switches.

“Fuck, fucking, god damn it,” Eddie curses, tangling it even more trying to yank it free and vowing to chop it all off later.

“It’s alright, here, let's get you sorted out.” Steve’s steady hand closes over Eddie’s, gentle and warm as he eases the lock of hair free. Eddie’s breath lodges in his throat when Steve reaches up, fingers brushing Eddie’s face as he combs through his long silver streaked waves and says, “Don’t ever cut your hair. I love it too much.”

God. Steve makes Eddie feel like he’s a pretty young thing getting moves put on him in the kinda club that he was always too famous, too busy and too afraid to go to at that age.

It can’t be real. Steve can’t be serious. Eddie’s mean. Bitter. He talks shit about everyone and everything. He’s nothing without a guitar. He’s got the prickly rind of daddy issues and doesn’t even have Wayne to make it better anymore. The whole world adoring him all his life only fed his ego. He’s worth millions of dollars and feels like nothing most days. His only real friends are his bandmates that he doesn’t call often enough because they love each other, but they’re sick of each other, being stuck together all those years.

Surely, Steve’s just bored and playing with him. Eddie needs a kick of confidence to deal with it until Steve’s contract ends and he’s done playing with Eddie.

So that’s why Eddie’s got a plug up his ass at the studio. At work, technically.

It helps. It gives him all the inner fire he needs to ignore when he feels Steve’s eyes burning into him, and push his hand through his hair that Steve loves, and sway his hips as Steve’s gaze follows him walking out to the bathroom.

Oh yeah, Eddie’s still got it.

And he has to piss. Really bad. His bladder just ain’t what it used to be and when he’s gotta go, he’s gotta go and for whatever reason, he can’t do it with the plug inside him.

Eddie’s locked in a stall so he doesn’t hesitate to undo his belt and reach inside to pull it out. He holds it while he uses the toilet, so distracted sighing in relief like such an old man that he doesn’t realize how lube-slippery the thing is.

It’s too late. He drops his plug and it rolls out from under the stall just as the bathroom door opens and shuts slowly.

Then Eddie feels both relief and panic when it’s Steve’s voice that asks, “Eddie, did you drop something, honey?”

#no one look at me #little cliffhanger the rest tomorrow i promise #steddie #eddie munson #steve harrington #subeddieweek #sub eddie week

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yrsdf · 6 months

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18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

dom!mike x babysitter/virgin!reader

warning! age gap (m 25 , r 19)

also in my stories he's 6'0 not 5'5 ;-)

NOT PROOFREAD

you'll thank me later

you knew by heart that mike was not to be messed with when he had one of those shifts, the shifts that had him coming home with the struggle of the keys outside the door, which had only frustrated him even more which then proceeded with the slam of the door behind him as he'd enter the house and the deep sigh he would let out as he stood there for a minute, usually he would be silent and you'd know the usual, you knew on the nights he was mad that you had to stay quiet just out of respect (and to avoid his glare), he would pay you in cash and you'd leave, but tonight was different.

It was one of his bad nights at the pizzeria , really... bad night, you had stayed over to watch abby as you usually did and tonight she had gone over to her bestfriends house for a birthday party/sleepover, it was pouring rain out you could hear the rain as it poured down onto the house, you sat on the couch warmed by a blanket and distracted by some stupid QVC that only came on at the late night hours, you were fascinated on the crazy prices on the rings the man was showcasing on the television.

"twelve thousand for a ring...that's a bit absurd."

you mumbled lowley at yourself, followed by a awkward giggle you for some reason needed to let out, maybe so you didn't feel so alone in the house, time went by and your pocked made a low "bzzzzz" noise followed by the feeling of its vibration in your pocket, you took the phone out and flipped it open reading the message mike had sent you

(I'll be home late, feel free to stay the night .)

you send back a simplistic thanks in response, mike didn't like you driving in the rain which you always thought was sweet of him, some nights you'll stay until morning just so you wouldn't have the dangers of tackling a wet road, and idiotic drivers, although his couch was definitely old, and hard to sleep on you took the offer, thankful for the gesture.

You stood up stretching, arching your back and twisting which rewarded you with a satisfying back pop which you definitely needed, and you waltzed down the hallway and into the bathroom so you could take a shower, just as you would every night either at his place or yours. Usually you had a bag with you in case you would stay at mikes but just like any irresponsible mistake you seem to make, leaving important things at home was your most famous mistake. but you shrugged your mistake off and walked into mikes room, you snagged a folded shirt from his open drawer that he probably left open in his tired rush to work.

you finished showering and stepped out, using a towel to dry yourself off and slipped the shorts you already had on previously, and then slipped his shirt on you looked at yourself in the mirror and noticed the size of his shirt on you, you never really noticed the difference between you too, you wrapped your hair back up in the towel and left the bathroom, the steam from the hot shower followed behind you and you bumped into mike by accident, you must not have heard him come home and you looked up at him, he was definitely pissed, his gaze burning down at you, you felt small with the way he was looking down at you, as you slowly shut the bathroom door behind you his eyes were wandering, he noticed the size of his shirt on you, and how it hid your curves. your eyes met his again, you noticed he was giving you a look something primal something hungry in a sense and you tilted your head to the side in curiosity.

"Are you alright mikey?"

he took no time to respond, he had a hand on the side of your face and the other on the curve of your side. he guided you to the door your back pressing against it, he took advantage of this position, using the hand on your jaw he lifted your chin kissing you neck softly at first, you let out soft whimpers, he abruptly bit your neck, his fangs piercing you slightly causing you to jolt slightly, he licked where he bit to soothe it and continued on littering you neck in soft kisses, occasionally leaving hickies where he wanted them.

he lowered himself onto his knees and his dilated brown eyes connected with yours before he put his focus to your shorts, he took his time removing the clothing from your lower half, but he kept the shirt on you, he lowered your panties and let them fall to your feet where your shorts were, his kissed your knee first, moving his way up and attached his lips to the innards of your thigh, you let out a soft moan as you squirmed, his mouth sucking a harshly dark hickey onto your inner thigh, he detached his lips and looked back up at you

"i'm gonna take good care of you, i promise"

he said this followed with his signature grin, he attacked his lips to your clit, tongue moving in figure eights onto it, his hands gripping harshly into the back of your thighs to prevent you from moving, he soaked up all your juices, soaking himself in your scent, and taste. you squirmed and squealed, your moaning loud and uncontrolled... god were you happy abby wasn't home, your hands gripped his hair, you were grinding against his mouth and he knew you were growing close, he could tell by the way you were thrashing and mumbling unknown words, you gripped his hair roughly as you finished his tongue helped you through your high and he detached himself from you he looked up wiping his mouth.

"god...you taste amazing, can't wait to feel you wrapped around me."

his hands now lifted you up and over his shoulder, he worked his way into the kitchen and sat you on the island. you watched as he got his wallet from his back pocket and flipped it open grabbing a condom from it, he sat the wallet on the counter beside you and he unbuckled his pants. his eyes now back on yours as he stepped between your opened legs.

"oh look at you... such a mess because of me, right pretty girl?"

you nodded in response as he let his pants fall to his ankles, he worked his boxers down and his size was definitely surprising. he noticed your mouth opened slightly and took this opportunity placing his thumb into your mouth and pressing down on your tongue, he worked his condom onto his shaft. the grip of his thumb in your mouth, and finger on your chin dragged your attention up to him, he was aware of you being a virgin.

"hey, hey.. eyes on me bunny, keep them right on me alright.?"

again you nodded, letting out a whimper as he ran the tip of his cock through your folds, eventually sinking half of himself into you, satisfied by the gasp you let out as he entered you, he shoved the rest in as far as possible as he waited for you to be comfortable with him continuing.

"more...please"

you slurred out due to the thumb in your mouth, which he moved both hands placing one on the counter top beside you and the other wrapping around your underarms, which would brace you for his pace, he thrusted in you at a unbearable speed your moans loud and pornagraphic, your head fell back as you grew close already, his cock hitting your gspot in the perfect way which caused your second orgasm to drown you, your legs shook against his hips and your body jolted and trembled as he kept his pace steady giving you no time to adjust, you were dumb fucked, your body only upright because of the arm he had around you, you were drooling, eyes rolling back followed by your head struggling to stay upright, his teeth sunk into your neck as he grew close, you could hardly moan, silently letting out whimpers with your mouth hung wide open, his pace relentless and unbroken as the sound of skin smacking filled the once silent house, you were close to a third orgasm as he neared his first, his teeth dug into your shoulder drawing blood as the two of you came in sync, he let out a low growl against your skin as your body trembled and shook, his pace slowed as he removed his teeth from your shoulder, but he looked at you, noticing that you were asleep. he placed a soft kiss upon your cheek.

(plz comment ur thoughs)

#mike schmidt smut #mike schmidt x reader #fnaf #fnaf movie #x reader #yrsdf fic

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gloomwitchwrites · 1 month

Note

Hiii, how about our fav 141 men with to a very clumsy reader? Like e.g. I'm someone who keeps accidentally bumping into people while walking because apparently I can't walk a straight line???

Is that something you'd write?:3

Is this something I'd write? Absolutely. This prompt is so cute and the perfect opportunity to write a few drabbles. Thank you for sending it in, and thank you for your patience as I work through all the requests.

Find the Imagines & What If Masterlist HERE

Content & Warnings: hurt/comfort, fluff, canon-typical cursing

ao3 // taglist // main masterlist // imagines & what if masterlist

John Price:

“I’m doing it.”

“No. You’re not.”

You raise the hammer.

“Put it down,” says Price pointing at the ground.

“I’m fully capable.”

“Yes,” admits Price, slowly. “But you always hurt yourself.”

Your husband isn’t wrong. Everything you’ve ever hung on the walls has resulted in a throbbing thumb.

“It’ll be different this time.”

Price shrugs. “Go on then.”

With tongue between teeth, you come down on the nail, striking thumb instead of metal. You turn to him, tears in your eyes.

“Fucking hell,” he mutters. “Come here.”

“Don’t say ‘I told you so.’”

“Wouldn’t dare,” laughs Price, cradling your hand.

Simon "Ghost" Riley:

“We need to—”

“The milk—”

“It’s—”

Simon tugs you to the right and you growl in frustration. “Stop pulling on me.”

Simon glances down and you know he’s smirking behind the black balaclava. “You don’t know how to walk in a straight fucking line.”

“What?”

He nods toward an elderly couple. “Nearly ran them down, love.”

You roll your eyes. You’re yanked backward against Simon’s chest. He places both hands on either side of you against the cart.

“Gotta protect the elderly.”

“Fuck off,” you mutter.

Simon presses his lips to the top of your head, grinning.

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick:

“Let me see, love.”

“It doesn’t hurt.”

Kyle grabs your wrist and inspects the nasty slice. You were in the kitchen preparing dinner and the knife slipped.

“At least the knife wasn’t dull,” murmurs Kyle as he rinses the wound under cold water. He gently washes it with soap, drying it afterward.

“You need to be more careful,” he says softly.

“You say that every time.”

“I mean it every time. I’m not interested in taking you to the hospital.”

Kyle rotates your wrist, covering the wound with a bandage, and places a soft kiss against the wrappings.

“All done.”

John "Soap" MacTavish:

“Can we—”

“Nope,” says John, shaking his head. “Focus.” He places his hands on your shoulders, urging you forward.

“You don’t need to do that.”

John twists you to the side as you almost collide with an antique tea set.

“Oh, aye. I do,” he mutters, gaze darting everywhere, looking for the next victim.

You’re the hazard. Last time the two of you went antique shopping, John had to hand over most of his cash because you kept knocking things over.

“They pack these places on purpose.”

He kisses the top of your head. “No. It’s just you, love.”

taglist:

@glassgulls @km-ffluv @glitterypirateduck @spicyspicyliving @tiredmetalenthusiast @childofyuggoth @coffeecaketornado @aykxz98 @kayden666 @36namey @pearljamislife @miss-mistinguett @keiva1000 @cherryofdeath @pertinentpostmortem @enfppuff @berarenado @saoirse06 @ninman82 @no-oneelsebutnsu @thewulf @hayleybarnesx @lxblm @ferns-fics @ooldcardigan @beebeechaos @enarien @sw33tsnow @kessi-21 @makayla-666 @lifes-project @burn1ngw00d @heeheehoohoohahahihi @lulurubberduckie @ravenpoe67 @jade1605 @miaraei @contractedcriteria @lovely-ateez @gingergirl06 @kidd3ath @leed-bbg @blackhawkfanatic @suhmie

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houseofanticipation · 2 months

Text

It's impossible to count the number of times you've imagined this moment. Late at night, under the covers; in the bathtub, and the shower; on slow days at the bookstore, the summer before senior year; during Mr. Madrigal's long, droning lectures. You fantasized so vividly you could see each scene on the back of your eyelids, hear each sound between breaths. Many a time your hand migrated southward, almost of its own volition. If you were in public, you'd hold it against your crotch, pressing it into yourself with the force of your clenched thighs. In private, you'd be far less subtle.

In all those fantasies, you never imagined it would look quite like this.

The hallway smells like cigarettes and industrial cleaner. The haphazardly patterned carpet is coming up at the edges. The yellow tube light overhead might be attempting morse code, the way it flickers. Paint peels from the door in front of you, and one of the metal digits in the room number has been replaced with one that doesn't quite match: room 233. You raise your hand, your knuckles inches from the door, and then you pause. You're not sure if you can go through with this.

Before you can decide, the door opens anyway.

You started posting pictures in your first year of college. It was just your tits at first. You'd been quietly following those subreddits and tumblr blogs for a while, and you thought it would be a bit of fun, a little thrill. You didn't expect the response you got: dozens of people telling you how much they'd enjoyed it, asking for more. So you posted more, and the people asked for different things. Post your ass. Post your cunt. Post your fingers in your cunt. Post audio of you moaning as you came. The more you revealed of yourself, the more attention you got, and the more attention you got, the more you wanted to show. People wanted to send you tips, so you set up a Cash App address. You never got much, a few dollars here and there, but it was nice to get a free coffee now and then.

And somewhere along the way, apparently, you let slip that you were a virgin.

The message came late last semester, from a Cash App user whose name was just a string of numbers. It read, "I will buy your virginity for $100,000. So you know I'm serious, here is $7000 for you to keep, deal or no deal. Let me know if interested."

It was like one of those hypotheticals you talk about with your friends at the dinner table. Would you work nonstop for a year if it meant you never had to work again? Would you cut off your hand if it meant you never had to die? Would you let a stranger from the internet take your virginity for a hundred thousand dollars? You thought about it for weeks. The 7 thousand in itself was a windfall you never could have imagined. It was the new laptop you needed, four times over. It was a large iced coffee ever day for three and a half years. After graduation, if you were smart, it could be your living expenses for the better part of a year. But a hundred thousand might be a house, or a car, or a few years of freedom to pursue your goals. And when you asked how you could trust him to pay when he'd gotten what he wanted, he told you he'd be happy to pay up front.

So here you are, in a dingy hotel, face to face with the broad-shouldered, potbellied older man in front of you. "I saw you through the peephole," he says. There's something impish about him. Maybe it's the toothy grin, or the way his ears stick out from his head, or the obvious glee in his voice as he looks you up and down. "My, you're much better in person. Come in! You got the money then?"

You nod. You didn't leave the Lyft until it was there in your account.

"Good," he says, throwing the dead bolt. "Let's get to it then, shall we?"

"What should...I mean, how do you want to..." you feel yourself talking strangely. Breathing in the wrong places, words tumbling over each other. "Maybe we should...talk first? Get to know each other?"

"No need for that," says the man matter-of-factly, unbuttoning his shirt. His chest is smooth, his skin a mottled pink. He waves a hand at your body. "Go ahead and get those off."

Back in high school, one of your recurring fantasies involved Jason Meier having his way with you in the back of that beat up convertible he used to drive. That old thing used to get you so wet. It was a piece of junk, but something about the exposure of it...In the fantasy, he's driven you out to some secluded spot outside of town. Cicadas drone all around. The night sky shines bright with stars. He cups your face with one hand, strokes your cheek with his thumb, asks you if this is your first time. He kisses the side of your mouth, then your jaw, then below your ear, then down your neck. As his hands undo the top button of your blouse, he tells you he'll be gentle.

The man is watching you expectantly. With his shirt on, he looked like a portly old man. Without it you can see that every inch of that stocky build is hard muscle. That pink skin strains against his mass, muscle rippling beneath it as he moves. "What are you waiting for?"

Your legs tremble. Your knees feel like they're about to buckle. You can hear your heart pounding in your ears. Your body has never done this before. You didn't know you could feel this kind of fear, and yet there's nothing to fight, nowhere to flee. You agreed to this. You decided this was what you wanted. Slowly, you pull your shirt over head.

He groans in the back of his throat, a long, growly sound. His face is a mask of focus, the impish joviality gone, his eyes fixated on your breasts. "And the rest."

You kick off your shoes, pull off your socks. An inch at a time, you slide your shorts and panties over your ass, down your legs, past your trembling knees. You step out of them, and now you're completely exposed. You cross your arms over your chest, then lower them when he grunts disapproval. Almost urgently, he unbuttons his pants, pulls out a long, rigid cock, and begins to stroke himself.

You didn't discover internet porn until your senior year, and before then the only penises you'd seen were a few drawings in your health textbook. In the fantasy, you unbutton Jason Meier's pants and fig. 7.5, "The penis becomes engorged when in state of arousal," pops out of his underwear. You take it in your hands, feeling the weight of it, the girth, and look up into those beautiful brown eyes of his.

This cock is much...realer. It has bounce, texture, even a sound as his hand slides up and down its length. It's longer than the one in that old fantasy, too, and it leans slightly to the left. For years you've wondered what it would be like to see a cock in person, and now that you're here it terrifies you.

"Come here," says the man, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Get on your knees."

You falter. "You didn't...I mean, we didn't agree to that."

"I bought your virginity," says the man. "You ever suck cock before?"

You shake your head.

"Then your mouth is just as much a virgin as your cunt. Get down here."

It's almost a relief to get off your legs, the way they've been threatening to give out. Close up, you can see the purples and blues of the veins under his skin. The head of his cock pulses with anticipation as your lips part, your tongue extends...

You don't think you can do this.

Then his hand is on the back of your head.

You always imagined Jason Meier whimpering as you took him into your mouth. You were never quite able to picture what he would feel like between your lips, on your tongue; the movie camera of your imagination always panned up at that point, to focus on his face. He would let his head fall back in pleasure, eyebrows knit with sensation, lips slightly parted. Now, though, there's no camera to pan. You are here. This is real. And his powerful hand is pushing your mouth onto his cock.

A sound you can't control comes out of you. Your back arches, your hands flail, and then by pure instinct they're on his belly, pushing against him, away from him. Spit runs down your chin, and you wipe it away with the back of your hand. "I'm sorry," you say, looking anywhere but at his face. "I'm sorry, I can't, I thought I could do this but I can't."

There's a horrible darkness in his voice. "I already gave you the money."

"I know, I'll give it back, I'm sorry." The words trip over each other on the way out of your mouth. "I'm really sorry, I shouldn't have, I just, I thought I could..."

His hand is on the back of your head again, and this time his fingers are curled tight into your hair. He jerks your head back, forcing you to look at him, and his eyes are cold and predatory. "I'm not interested in returning what's already bought and paid for." He jams himself back into your mouth.

You always imagined yourself savoring it, taking your time to explore every inch of Jason's length with your tongue, but there's no time for that now. The veiny, throbbing thing in your mouth bypasses your tongue entirely, forcing past your uvula. You gag, then gag again. Your stomach churns and you convulse as your body tries to remove the foreign object, but the man just pushes harder. Your eyes water as he slides deeper, deeper, making your throat bulge, your limbs spasm. As his balls touch your chin, you close your eyes and try to relax your throat.

He holds you like that. You gag for a third time, and thick saliva explodes through the gaps around his cock, dripping down your chin and collecting in a long, dangling rope. Tears roll down your cheeks as you try to acclimatize to the feeling, try to convince your body that nothing is wrong. You think you've got it, and then he moves slightly, and you're gagging again. He groans, grips your head tighter, and in the back of your throat you feel his cock swell slightly. He likes it when you gag for him, says a voice in the back of your mind. The motion is pleasurable for him.

You've got another problem rearing its head. You can't breathe. It was fine at first, but the man shows no interest in freeing up your airways, and in all the gagging and crying, you haven't exactly been conserving your oxygen. You pat his leg, trying to signal to him, but all he does is clap you on the side of the head. Your ear rings, you gag again, and his cock throbs. Black walls are closing in on your vision. The effort of struggling against him becomes too much, and your arms fall to your sides. Your eyelids flutter. You're going to pass out. You're going to pass out, and then what will he do to you?

But just before the world fades to black, he pulls your head back again. You feel every inch of his cock as it slides out of your throat. He lifts your face, and your eyes struggle to focus on his as you take lungful after lungful of glorious air. Drool spills across your lips, but you don't care. You're alive.

The man slaps you hard, leaving a stinging impression of his palm on your cheek. You whimper. Two of his fingers are in your mouth, pushing on the back of your tongue. Not knowing exactly why, you close your lips around them and shut your eyes.

"That's better," he says.

The first time you saw a male sex toy in use was in an ad before a porn video you were watching. You were taken aback by the way the performer had pounded it over his cock, barely more than an extension of his hand. You're reminded of that image as he parts your lips again, and the rape of your throat begins in earnest.

You haven't thought about Jason Meier in years, but at this moment he's the only thing keeping you sane. As your face rams up and down, up and down, you retreat to that beat up convertible, and Jason's soft, thoughtful face. As the man tightens his grip, Jason runs his fingers through your hair. As the man grunts and growls with pleasure, Jason coos your name. With each stroke of his cock down your throat, each spasm of your body, you focus on a different part of Jason's body: his large hands, his long fingers, his shoulders, his jawline, his liquid brown eyes. By the time the man finally releases your hair, you can barely feel your body any more. The convertible is far more real than the squeaky motel bed. The hands on your body are Jason's, soft and tender.

He climbs over the center console straddling you. You lock lips, feel your tongues in each other's mouths, kiss so deeply that it feels as though you share the same breath. He pulls the lever to lay your seat back, and then he's over you, on top of you, lifting your skirt, pulling your panties to the side.

This is the part where, in the old days, you would have slipped a finger or two inside yourself. But this time you don't have to. This time you can feel him inside you, really feel him, and he fills you up like your fingers never could. There's some pain—they told you there'd be pain, didn't they, your first time—but it falls away to the thrill, the lust, the pleasure. Jason whimpers as he slides into you, deeper, deeper, and you moan into each other's mouths as his pelvis meets yours. You take a moment to savor it, breathing each other in, and then he begins to thrust.

You feel drunk. It's exactly like you always imagined it, and somehow better than you could ever have expected. Each movement of his hips brings another sensation: a spasm in the arches of your feet, a hitch in your breath, a churning, swirling need in the depths of your abdomen. Deeper you tell him, harder, and he obliges, pulling you into him, and him into you.

You can feel the orgasm building, but it isn't like any you've had before. Every time you've ever cum, you've been in control. This time, Jason is in control. Jason decides when you cum, how you cum. One hand supports his weight as he leans over you, and the other slides up your belly. You used to watch those hands obsessively. The way he held a pencil, the way he bit his knuckles when he was thinking. Now that hand slides up, caresses your breast. Now that thumb brushes your hair out of your face. Now those fingers close around your throat.

You know you're safe with Jason, but the pressure on your throat triggers some animal fear response in you. You try to squirm away, but his arm is strong, and his hand his firm. Your hands go to his wrist. "I don't like that, stop." He just smiles. It isn't his usual sweet smile, either. This one is cruel. Predatory.

Your face feels tight. Your eyes bulge. You're beginning to panic for real now. "Jason, seriously, stop!" You beat at his arm with your fists, but he easily takes both your wrists in one hand and pins them over your head. You try to kick at him, but he's already past your defenses, between your legs, pushing them uselessly apart. His grip tightens, his rhythm increases, his cock swells inside you. He's getting off on this.

All at once you're back in the hotel room. The man's sweaty red face is inches away from your own, and the lust in his eyes is obvious. His cock seems to push deeper with every thrust, and the horrible thing is that the orgasm is still coming. It's close now, you can feel it, and it's like he knows exactly how to bring it out. You feel floaty, tingly, and that awful pleasure is welling up inside you, a pot about to boil over...

"That's right," he says, his eyes locked on yours. "That's what I was waiting for. That perfect mix of...pleasure...and...fear." He punctuates each of these last three words with a long, deep thrust, and it's these that send the orgasm spilling over. A choked moan pushes itself out of you as your back arches, your toes curl, your legs wrap involuntarily around his waist, tears roll down your cheeks. That floaty feeling has combined with the orgasm to create something like how you imagine heroin must feel; a wave of mind numbing, soul deadening ecstasy. Your insides feel hot, and at first you think that must just be what it feels like when you cum from sex, but then you see the look on his face and realize that he's cumming too. His grip relaxes and he pounds away a few more times at your now-limp body. You stare at the ceiling as he moans, buries his face between your tits, pumps round after round of his warm, thick cum into your cunt, your womb. After one final push he collapses onto you, his cock still inside you, his bulk crushing you into the bed. You don't move.

He strokes your cheek. Fondles your nipple. Kisses your neck. Then he kisses your mouth, his tongue pushing your lips open, his breath like damp earth. You barely see him.

It must be almost ten minutes before he finally gets up, his limp cock sliding out of you at last. You can feel his cum dripping from your cunt as he puts on his underwear, then pants, then shirt, then shoes. "The room is paid for the night," he says with his hand on the door handle. "Thank you for struggling. Taking someone's virtue is so much better when you actually get to take it.

You don't respond.

You don't know how long you lie there, motionless, dripping cum. Oddly, the man who just raped you isn't the one burned onto your mind's eye. Try as you might to return to that sweet teenage fantasy, all you can see is Jason Meier as he held his hand to your throat, and that cruel, predatory smile on his face.

#CW im told this one is realer than usual so be warned #r@pe fantasy #cnc free use #cvmdump #cvmslvt #breeding toy #r@petoy #r@pe kink

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