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macarensesangles · 10 months

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ive talked about this before and it may be kind of negative but ill do it again i don’t care. i like talking about my feelings. under a cut bc it’s unconscionably long but stuff about emetwol in fandom and idk. Internalized homophobia I guess?

beyond not caring for some of the m/f emetwol writing i’ve encountered (depending of course on the individual author and WoL) and finding it regressive or sexist, it does feel kind of like. i don’t know, hurtful isn’t the right word, but it’s unpleasant to me that that sort of writing is much more popular than m/m emetwol because it kind of gets at a weird place for me vis a vis like growing up with homophobia that i think is kind of hard to articulate. (this is specifically about stuff that feels super reliant on very highly codified gender roles to me and the way i feel that that sort of work is exceedingly popular, it’s not about every m/f emetwol ship.)

it’s kind of childish language but there’s a part of me that consistently sees these characters as like, “fairytale princesses,” like their performance of womanhood is unassailable and their claim to beauty is unquestioned, and so Naturally they end up with a desirable man, and like. idk. there is an extra TRANS gay dimension in this for me, I guess. i was very invested in fairytales as a kid myself, but i always felt kind of torn about identifying with these female protagonists who inhabited roles I felt like I couldn’t, and very early on i was consistently frustrated by what looking back i recognize as feeling, like, emasculated by the whole idea. my Stereotypical As Fuck Childhood Fantasy at this point was wearing full body armor and saving a princess and having her assume i was male.

anyway, so obviously i have some friction with the whole Ideal Woman Role, given I’m a trans guy. duh. i think it was tough bc like, on an emotional level even as a child i was aware I was a boy, even if i couldn’t figure out how to express this or that it was possible to say so. and i liked other boys, and because i knew vaguely that being gay was “bad,” i felt discomfort and guilt about it, and like i was doing something wrong by liking other boys. compounded by the issue that THEY did not see ME as Other Boys and made me angry by treating me as a girl. so like, it was hard to know on some level that i wasn’t actually female, and like other guys, and then consistently have other guys only like me or interact with me on the level of like, this sort of socially acceptable female face I had to wear growing up. i could only get close to guys i liked on ANY level, whether as potential romantic partners or as friends, through the Girl Pantomime. but because i was stuck in the whole Girl Act there was this wall between me and other guys, and i could never really entertain getting close to even guys I might’ve otherwise been interested in because i knew like, the only reason they had any interest in me was because they were straight. like particularly with my friend from high school who I went to prom with, who i might’ve liked back if like, it were in a context where he was interested in me as another guy - but he only liked me because he saw me as a girl who shared his interests and a girl who was his friend, so he did not like ME.

i guess what i’m trying to say is that seeing these very very gendered like, “ideal subservient woman x guy you like” depictions be met with TONS of positive feedback and engagement and praise feels like a repetition of that rejection? especially because my own writing for emetwol is not met with nearly the same kind of engagement on The AO3. it feels like another sort of “you can only secure the attention of other men whose companionship or love you want by being a woman, rendering the whole thing entirely pointless because the only way that camaraderie and love will fulfill you is if you’re seen as a man — and this is because men and women interacting under the aegis of these extremely exaggerated gender roles is the ideal, it’s what everyone wants and views as positive, and what would be affirming and healing to you is what everyone else finds distasteful and perverse.” and i know it’s not necessarily that deep, but like, it feels that way! it really does feel that way when you’re repeatedly presented with this like stark Men Are This, Women Are This, Men And Women Interact Like This kind of narrative, and you see that narrative praised over and over again, and when you try to tell your own story nobody listens.

and I get that that’s discounting somewhat the fact that my dear friends DO listen, and you guys listen. i appreciate it a lot. it’s just like, idk, it’s a different feeling to have your friends say “cool fic!” when you show them versus publishing your work on ao3 and having other, new people respond and tell you they liked it and so on. and i also understand that popularity means very little, and that there’s no sin in other people writing things that aren’t to my taste and my taste apparently not being so mainstream.

i think it’s just like, I don’t resent other people for being something that I’m not and enjoying things I don’t. but it’s sometimes very isolating and painful to remember that like, idk, I’ve found connection with other lgbt people online and found a good community and structured my little social world around that and it’s great and wonderful, but that doesn’t change that in the wider world I do not fit in. i’m not what people want me to be and not capable of being that, and the things that are important to me are viewed by others with at best a sort of indifference or “how quaint!” and at worst disgust. and straight people’s relationships, and subsequently writing about straight characters’ relationships, are automatically conferred a greater sense of weight and value. and with emetwol sometimes I feel like an m/f story like this is automatically viewed as a sweeping epic and the love as inherently very deep and real, but with m/m it’s sort of relegated to like, oh how cute that men like him too, or whatever. idk how to articulate it precisely, but the feeling like men’s relationships just aren’t seen as like, as romantic or as Real in comparison. silly slash fans playing with dolls. you know. IDEK how much of that is even true, but it’s how it makes me feel, like “you don’t really belong here, no one wants to hear about your silly little Thing, but we suppose you can sit at the kiddy table with the other gays.”

i think one of the things that makes me maddest in this vein is the fic i read where emet having an attraction to men is included as a throwaway line SOLELY in order to establish that he’s become incurably morally corrupt and debauched. like. Cool

and idk, i don’t want to come across like it’s just “i’m crying homophobia bc nobody reads or talks up my stuff on the fanfictions website :’(“ bc i’m aware Not Getting AO3 Hits is kind of a petty complaint and no one is obligated to read my fic in particular. It just feels like the Environment surrounding the ship unless i specifically track down other m/m shippers or nb/m shippers, so it’s hard to pin to one thing. especially bc the perception by the wider ffxiv fandom is TOTALLY that emetwol is like almost exclusively a straight woman’s pursuit

no real good snappy conclusion to this. i just wish i felt better about it i suppose, and also like i didn’t feel i have to apologize so much for feeling unheard compared to other people. it’s not like i want to demand attention as though I’m entitled to it or something, I guess it’s just demoralizing sometimes to put a lot of my heart into writing for pfeil and emet and feel like no one will want to read it or take it as seriously because they’re gay men

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menalez · 10 months

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This is odd and I hope it’s doesn’t offend you but I want your opinion. Is it normal to just, not want to be gay? I hate it. I don’t find any joy in being different. I want to have a normal life with kids and not have to worry that my family will always be perceived as different. I’m so tired of having another layer of complexity to my relationships. I just wish I could be straight, but I’d rather die than date a man. I’d rather be single for the rest of my life. People say ‘oh you can try’ I don’t even want to think about it. I wish so many times a day I was bisexual and could stomach being with a man but I can’t. It’s not normal or natural for me and no matter how much I pray and hope i can be osa I just am not made for it. I’m literally hardwired to be a lesbian and I just wish I could be as fluid as these other people say they are. I wish I wasn’t stuck being hated and judged and different. I watch these romance television shows and know I’ll never be seen as pure and loving as the couples in them. I’ll always be a different kind of love. I just can’t stand it sometimes. Does this go away? I’ve known I was gay for years, since I was 11 I knew I liked girls. I’ve only kissed boys, and I cried after because I knew no matter how much I tried it just wasn’t right, it wasn’t attractive and it wasn’t what I was made for. How can I find acceptance? Love for myself? I’m so exhausted of this feeling

that’s pretty tough anon. honestly it sounds like you have some very deep-seated internalised homophobia. are you in a homophobic environment perhaps? if so, is it possible to change that environment into a more supportive one? something that helped me is being around other gay people and seeing that our love can be beautiful too. plus staying so closeted and rejecting yourself and forcing yourself to kiss men does not help, it probably intensifies the negative feelings you have. besides that, tbh i’d suggest avoiding the things that trigger those feelings and trying to change how you think about it. if you start thinking “it’ll never be viewed as pure!” ask yourself, so what if homophobes will view me from a shitty lens? they’re mistaken, there’s nothing about same-sex attraction that makes it less “pure”. if you start thinking “i just want a normal life with kids”, think to yourself that you CAN have a normal life with kids. sure, not a normal heterosexual life, sure not without discrimination, but potentially a normal life otherwise. i’m from such a homophobic country but i managed to leave and now i’m in a more accepting environment and frankly i can go quite some time before remembering that my “lifestyle” (ie my homosexuality) is somehow “unconventional”.

if possible, therapy can also help. bc your way of thinking sounds quite deeply rooted & so it may be hard for you to catch yourself and change your way of thinking on your own

#look into cognitive restructuring

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queerofdenial · 1 year

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have fun (that is if you actually do this 🤨):

molly cobb

ava daniels

kathryn janeway

judith jones

bestie i hope you have a warm pillow tonight bc having to "least favorite" any of these blorbos hurts

questions are:

favorite thing about them

least favorite thing

brOTP

OTP

nOTP

random headcanon

unpopular opinion

song i associate with them

"here’s to selfish pricks, ‘cause we move the ball forward for mankind."

she's wholly uncompromising about who she is and what shes capable of, but still takes criticism and grows as a person! her confidence and ego are 100% earned and never feel like a Strong Woman Schtick

she had to keep walkin' straight into the destroying thing, didn't she. god damn hero.

i want an entire season of molly and patty mercury 13 backstory

molly x margo would have the best gay enemy sex and i would be so amused (but not as much as molly would) by stoned!margo

honestly don't think there are enough bad ships on famk, i adore wayne

she definitely spent months actively hitting on margo when she started ascan training just to annoy her. she and patty probably placed a bet on it.

she should've been stricter with the guys, and margo was right to fire her

hypnotized by fleetwood mac (second song on my molly x margo playlist)

"...you don't know where a woman gets fingered?"

i love that she's a wreck. i love that she overshares as a way to push people away because in reality she's lonely as hell and scared of true connection. i love that she uses generational stereotypes as jokes for the bit (and to rib at deb) when in reality she could really not give a damn. i love that she does drugs. i love that none of those things change the fact that she's talented and hardworking and fucking thriving. i love that she and i have the same relationship with growing up a gay loser with conservative parents in a new england suburb. i love that she's hot and spreads chocolate on her tiddies when she forgets shes wearing pants.

i hate that shes not real. jk, my least favorite thing is that she cannot for the life of her keep it in the drafts.

carl and hannah get along so well that every time ava and marcus interact i just knoooooow they want to genuinely admit to liking each other. i want more.

avadeb has in fact had my heart from day 1 and that will never change (its not gonna be canon you stupid sluts...ruby's cool too)

ava x not being woken up for breakfast

she's actually allergic to dogs and sucks it up for barry and cara only

unpopular opinion is that i am looking forward to seeing her absolutely thrive in season 3

kitchen light by xana

"There are three things to remember about being a starship captain: keep your shirt tucked in, go down with the ship… and never abandon a member of your crew."

everything about janeway is my favorite thing about janeway, but especially what i said to you the other day about her being a woman and a captain but never feeling like a caricature of either or the other. her leadership feels different than the other pre-disco captains, but it's never tokenism.

she's got a questionable taste in men. also generally too nice to aliens that usually want to kill her.

if they were stuck in the delta quadrant any longer, tom paris would've named his second kid after her (maybe he already did? who knows what went on on that planet)

j7! i'm always a sucker for a former drone x person who gave the drone their name (a shortened version of their designation). also this (x)

sorry mutuals but ch*kotay takes the cake on this one by a mile

she thinks about that puppy q almost gave her pretty often on voyager, and has programmed a dog into every holodeck program she runs. when they get back to earth she adopts one of the puppies her old dog had from her ex. she names it neelix.

she made the right call with tuvix

all the things you are frances faye

"i'll be your eyes." "what?" "i'll. be. your. eyes."

above anything else, she does the work and supports the people she thinks are worthy, she thinks have something important to say, regardless of prestige. she's cute as a button and loyal to a fault and is exactly the right amount of talented and full of grace and humility for what she does.

she maaaaaay need to start learning what professional boundaries are (mainly irt how much of peoples' personal issues she can carry on her lonesome)

i could watch an entire season of judith and paul attempting to bake bread using the scientific method

blanchejudith my beloved. my milfiest ship. my repression central. my women who desperately need a weekend in vermont.

if julia/judith was a thing ig i do not want to see

i have lots of headcanons ab the cabin in vermont and how she uses that space to better both her editing and her writers' work

i don't think there are enough people in this fandom for anything to be controversial? she is an absolute gem

slip away clarence carter

#long post #riss speaks #ask games #molly cobb #ava daniels #kathryn janeway #judith jones

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scoupsahoy · 1 year

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ryan's bad opinion corner

ive outgrown fighting with people on the internet about celebrities and i also do not give a shit about which celebrities people like or dislike. seriously.

however i think it's so insane when people (specifically young, white, american queer kids) decide that people like harry styles or taylor swift are somehow doing harm to the lgbt community when there are actual real people doing actual real harm to the lgbt community. you guys are so lame.

to imply that harry styles "benefits" or "profits" off of being perceived as queer "while never confirming it" is so fucking weird it's actually astounding. i keep seeing stuff like "he gets praised by the media for being gender nonconforming while REAL gender nonconforming people suffer" and it's like. ok

1. isn't the point of people, including cishet men, not adhering to pointless gender structures......... the whole thing? like isn't that what we want? isn't that what normalizing shit is for?

2. are we pretending that harry styles has ever said he's straight? and i literally don't mean this in a tinhat way but did we forget that literally in the past three months he was asked if he was queer because he's "only publicly dated women" and his response was like "well i've never publicly dated anyone, my life is just extremely public". like to say he's one thing or another is extremely disingenuous to queer people who are in the closet. what? are you saying that people have to come out to be gay? or to even be perceived a specific way? is that not fucking counterintuitive

3. are we pretending that the world is not still genuinely a homophobic place? this is where i'm addressing young white queer americans like. i know for the past three years youve been stuck in your house and youre under the impression that the whole world is cool with gay people but You Are Wrong. i live in boston and i'm still not out to my family that i'm nonbinary. i sometimes panic holding my girlfriend's hand in public. living and existing as a queer person as an adult who really really remembers public attitude before gay marriage was legalized across the united states has shaped me in ways i am genuinely glad younger people (in Some Communities) don't have to experience. but that's like. not how the whole world is?? like and i'm just talking about myself here and other non-famous people. like i do not give a shit about harry styles' or taylor swift's sexualities, but consider for a moment that they were queer. please open your eyes if you can't see that it would be GENUINELY difficult to come out?? i don't care how many fans they have. to be like "well <insert other artist here> did it and they handled the backlash" is soooo weird. like telling ME i have to come out to my dad just because other people come out to their dads. you're so weird you're so weird

4. listen you guys weren't there. like you weren't there in like 2011 when harry was like 17 and an article came out that harry had slept with 410 women? this was like a year after he was pursued by caroline flack, who was twice his age, and in the middle of the height of people thinking he was fucking his bandmate like. if you think that guy is going to just. talk about his interpersonal relationships openly, especially if he isn't straight or could be criticized about it in any public way, you are just. willfully ignorant for no reason. and extremely weird.

5. acting like it's anyone but the media's fault that harry styles is praised for his gender presentation where sam smith is not is shifting the blame to a really pointless place. like. acting like the enemy is one singular man and not an entire industry does not make the enemy go away or easier to defeat. in fact you're making it harder. and you're dumb as hell.

this kind of shit pisses me off to no end bc like. harry styles is probably kind of a douchebag at least and his comment at the grammys was weird and tonedeaf but like. not because his outfit "wasn't queer enough" or because he's "openly straight" and i can't believe queer people are at the center of the conversation to complain about a seemingly cishet white man <checks notes> profiting (somehow) off of "being perceived as queer" (wearing an ugly outfit) when they've definitely never participated in active lgbt community work in their lives. i became a way better person when i started volunteering and working with and meeting queer people and ignored weird internet discourse. maybe if you do the same you'll forget to give a fuck about some white man in a jumpsuit and whether or not he's queerbaiting you

#ryans bad opinion corner #im goingto bedddd #no one read this

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likehephaestionwhodied · 1 year

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I wanna talk about Elliot Tiber's memior Taking Woodstock. Tiber is a gay Jewish man who's parents owned the motel Woodstock was run from up in the Catskills. This is of course why I was first interested in the story.

But anyone who knows a lot about Woodstock, and particularly someone who's got a special intrest in the counterculture movement of the 60s, can tell something is off. As it turns out other people who were also there say Tiber streched his importance and other key peices of the story.

What has always stuck with me is that he claimed to have had sex with Robert Mapplethorpe. I am not saying that didn't happen Mapplethorpe had a lot of sex with a lot of people but I'm just now realizing the chronology is all wrong. He is suggesting that prior to June 1969 he met Mapplethorpe at the Mineshaft, Mapplethorpe had nazi paraphernalia in his loft, AND there were SM photographs that Mapplethorpe had taken. In the morning Mapplethorpe makes Tiber dress up like a nazi and takes pictures of him. a couple years later there were censorship battles and later Tiber sees Mapplethorpe in a gallery.

the first problem is that The Mineshaft didn't open till the 70s, 74 or 75 I can't remeber but it was not open before the Stonewall riots. The second problem is that Mapplethorpe didn't start taking SM photos as a genera till the mid 70s. Third if Mapplethorpe WAS taking photos pre-stonewall then it was with a Polaroid Camera not the kind of photography Tiber alludes to. Fourth and finally the censorship controversy did not happen while Mapplethorpe was alive so Tiber could not have read about those and THEN seen the man.

I've always wondered about the Nazi thing though. I've never wanted to just sweep it away becuse Tiber is a Jewish man, why would he make it up? But at this point I've read Just Kids, I've seen the Biopic with Matt Smith, I'm reading Fritscher's memior, and ive read his other peice in Proflies of Gay Courage. And while Fritscher has acknowledged the problematic lense Mapplethorpe used taking photos of Blackmen, and everyone kinda skirts around his racism no one has ever hinted at a nazi thing. Are there pictures of men dressed like Nazis that Mapplethorpe took? Maybe, we don't have his pictures of the Mineshaft. we don't have his scat pictures. So maybe we domt have those either. But no one has even hinted at it.

It has been two years since I've read that book and it's been bothering me that I can't figure out why he thought Mapplethorpe was a nazi. EXCEPT I think I finally figured it out.

Tom of Finland very early on in his career, drew nazis. He didn't keep it up for very long but there IS tom of finland nazi art out there. Further, some leathermen used to wear swastikas as like a power thing (Mapplethorpe to my knowledge was not one of these men. Fritscher talks about how he wore a pin with the N word on it, i think hed mention a swastika) I think Tiber is just conflating the two most famous gay visual artists who did erotic gay art.

I need to reread Taking Woodstock bc man what else is there to puzzle out of it? And like, why say stuff like that, stuff that so easily checked to be not true? Why lie about a man who died of AIDS being a nazi, when you could say he got you drugged up on [pick literally any drug, probablyan upper] and then made you literally eat shit and it would be more believable?

#robert maplethorpe

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2-bdamned · 3 years

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in regards to the aoex pride post i made last month, here are my personal headcanons as to why i think those are their sexuality’s! ( also thank you to @johnannepeterric for asking about this as i’ve been waiting to share these for a hot minute!!)

rin:

sexuality + gender identity:gay and trans(ftm)

reason: i don’t think he exactly cares for the concept of gender and sexuality but just thinks people should be allowed to like and be whoever they want. he knew he was in the wrong body since he was a little kid but never knew how to phrase it till later on in life. as for on screen reasons, he tends to cover up quite a bit before and after becoming a demon as well as tending to wear baggy clothes to hid his form. not to mention he has very poor posture which most transmasc people (myself included) tend to do when we can’t bind or don’t feel masculine enough. and i think he’s gay mostly due to the fact that he’s never really shown to have any friendships outside of the exwires and tends to get his platonic and romantic affections mixed up quite a bit (as to explain why i still headcanon this after the manga and his confirmed feelings towards shiemi)

yukio:

sexuality: bisexual

reasoning: he seems to show and equal amount of emotions to his colleagues and to the exwires and im like 90% sure he doesn’t really talk about romantic through the manga/anime at all. i think he’s always known he’s liked both genders since he was young. shiro seems like he was very accepting and i honestly think he would’ve helped both the boys with their sexuality’s and gender since he didn’t get the freedom to express that stuff when he was younger due to you know ‼️‼️(SPOILERS) ‼️‼️ literally being a clone made in a lab. yukio seems the type to not really care about gender when it comes to romance and instead look for traits like personality and motivations. his friendships are most based on him genuinely liking the person rather than keeping up with his appearance as someone who’s quite popular. this could possibly lead to the same being transferred over to his romantic bonds.

shiemi:

sexuality: lesbian

reason: like rin, she tends to get romantic and platonic affection mixed up from not having friends till high school. there’s a bit in the manga where izumo brings over some romance novels to try and help shiemi out with figuring out her feelings. we all know most romance novels don’t exactly have the best explanation for feeling so i think that’s where shiemi got mixed up. she gets her admiration for rin mixed up with romantic feelings when in reality, she’s not into him. we can also use the garden scene from kyoto arc as some reasoning to this headcanon. izumo called shiemi a weed and she surprisingly takes this “insult” very well and even thanks izumo for the interaction. even later in kyoto saga, we see shiemi use even more of her power to save izumo from the miasma. she clearly cared a lot about izumo and basically wore herself down to the the brink of exhaustion trying to dave izumo herself when she could have easily run and got help from another exorcist. sheimi seems to care deeply about her friends but shows more concern to izumo than any other exwire (minus rin and yukio).

shima: ‼️‼️ HIS WHOLE HEADCANON REVOLVES AROUND MANGA SPOILERS SO THATS A HEADS UP‼️‼️

sexuality: gay

since he found out about izumo from the illuminati, he never really had a “crush” on her per say, but showed an unromantic interest in her due to her past and just wanted to know more about her. since he had kinzou around him as a kid, i think that played a huge part in him hiding that he was gay (just bc kinzou is a huge perv and probably pushed some of that onto him). that could also lead to the reasoning as to why he’s so pushy with izumo. he’s trying to convince himself he liked women by trying his hardest to like izumo. the kinzou thing is the only thing really leading to me believing this but an alternative reason could also be a fear of changing his personality this late on when both suguro and koneko have known him to be a certain way since he was young. he’s shown to have this perverted personality since he was quite young and it’s even mentioned in an extra concerning why suguro and koneko use his last name and not his first. these two factors lead me to believe his attraction to izumo and subsequently, his attraction to women, is just a lie he’s putting on.

koneko:

sexuality + gender identity: pansexual and genderfluid

reason: koneko is shown to have a deep love and care for the people around him and i think that not only applies to him with friendship, but with romance as well. like yukio, he tends not to focus on the gender of the person perusing him, but rather their intention, personally, and motivations. he wants to know if his partner is a good person rather than their gender. gender wise, i just don’t think he cares. it’s not explicitly shown but it can be heavily implied when he talks to rin about why he has a hard time trusting him after the “son of satan “ reveil happens. for gender identity, i think i as a kid, he was commonly referred to by most pronouns since he wasn’t exactly the most “boy looking” when he was young. later on he learned he didn’t exactly mind what gender people perceived him as but rather how they perceived him as a person. there’s no canon information for the genderfluid headcanon but again, these are my personal headcanon, they don’t exactly have to make sense.

suguro:

sexuality + gender identity: gay and trans (ftm)

reason: this one is mostly me projecting onto this man so if it doesn’t exactly make sense, y’all know why! but he’s shown to be quite affectionate to rin in both the manga and the anime. he doesn’t really tend to do that too much to other people, especially the women that are around him. he probably has some sort of crush on rin or at least some form of admiration to him. as for his gender identity, this is literally just me projecting. that’s it. but i think he does show some signs that i tend to show as a trans person ( the one example i can name off the top of my head is that he seems pretty insecure when shima and koneko brought up his body before he started working out and hates mentions of his body in general ). like rin, he tends to have very poor posture and also doesn’t wear form fitting clothes and this is especially prominent in official art.

izumo:

sexuality: lesbian

reason: she has a very deep relationship with paku and shiemi after the events of the manga take place. she never shows this same connection with any one else throughout the series. she gets severely worried once paku leave cram school and is shown to be quite empty after this happens. ‼️‼️SPOILERS‼️‼️ the same thing happens once shiemi leaves cram school as well and is taken by her family to go train. she seems to be deeply affected by these two events and even goes as far as to show the others her concerns after the thing with shiemi happens. after she ‼️SPOILERS‼️ gets kidnapped by the illuminati and winds up the the hospital, shimei is the first person she lets see her true emotions and feelings and doesn’t once make a comment on her being some kind of hindrance. we also see her show quite a bit of empathy towards shiemi when in kyoto. there’s a scene where they two are gardening and she calls shiemi a weed. she’s very much plays into a tsudere type roll in the beginning but this seems more like a backhanded compliment rather than trying to be a jerk to her. both of the girls receive this interaction in a positive way. we also can use the scene where shiemi saves izumo as a reason for this as well. izumo shows a genuine concern for shiemi both during and after her being stuck in the miasma. even when they go to the hot springs, she seems to have this perpetual blush while looking at shiemi. these all lead me to think she has some sort of feelings toward both paku and shiemi, leading me to headcanon her as a lesbian.

shura:

sexuality: lesbian

she was basically born just so she could produce a child to fuel some demons deep desires. her unhealthy attachment to shiro can be explained by this. i think this is the case for all the “attraction” she showed towards him as a young girl. all her life she’s been told she has to have kids with a man and that’s was her purpose for a long time. thus why i think she’s a lesbian. she never shows any real attraction to a man throughout the entire series besides the man who saved her as a child. she never talks about men till after her character arc in the manga and even then, it seems she just wants to live the rest of her life differently than before and doesn’t exactly seem too enthusiastic about finding a husband as it’s never mentioned again after that point. she really only seems to show an “attraction” to men when it’s useful to her. she uses her looks and charm to get what she wants when it comes to men. she has this facade she puts on where she acts innocent and cute and uses her looks to her advantage. she never truly shows an actual attraction to a man.

mephisto:

sexuality + gender identity: gay and genderfluid

reason: i don’t think any of the demon kings are cis. like not even remotely. they all have to take on different forms and have taken on many in the past. as long as it’s a body, they’re basically fine with whatever. mephs past forms are never shown but we can assume he’s taken on many different body’s in the past as well. after all this body hopping and the fact that gender is literally a thing made up by humans, i don’t think meph really cares about the forms he takes and how his gender is perceived. he knows he’s a powerful demon and could easily destroy the knights of the true cross if he wanted too so gender is the last thing he really cares about. as for sexuality, nothing on screen really points to anything but he tends to show more affection to the men on screen than the women. in fact, the only women we see him really interact with (that i can remember) is shura and we all know how they feel about each other. even though those two both “flirt” with one another, these seem to be more so parts of their personality’s rather than them both having an interest in each other. his “flirting” with shura seems to be more taunting her and displaying his absolute discard for human problems.

amaimon:

gender identity: agender

reason: just like meph, amimon had possessed(?) many different forms over the course of their existence. we even see him take on a rather feminine presenting form when they were destroying the earth. but unlike meph, he is less fluid in terms of gender and instead, prefers to not identify with one. she does use all pronouns and doesn’t exactly care on that front but i think there’s certain terms and compliments they don’t exactly like. meph does use gendered terms with amimon, but these two seem to be very close and have probably communicated this before as well. like koneko being genderfluid, there’s no definitive evidence to support this claim other than these are my own headcanons and i can do what i want.

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allthingskakashi · 3 years

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As a fellow Kakashi lover, I’m curious if you feel that Kakashi is pretty misunderstood by a lot of fans? I’ve seen people say that he should’ve defected the village, and that he’s messed up for hiding his trauma. (Which he could’ve been more open about, yes, but I’m not sure that he even knew how to go about discussing it at the time) He could’ve easily left the village, but instead he wanted to change things and make society better by teaching teamwork, and to value everyone’s life by putting yourselves before the mission. He never lost hope for the future of shinobi and knew that it could be better. He definitely could’ve been more open about his past, but he’s always been more of a quiet and reserved kid (even before the trauma lol) Idk, I feel like a lot of people overlook his backstory when talking about him!

Istg every time i meet another person who shares this view i just wanna give em the biggest bear hug and im boutta go OFF

Remember back in their childhood when gai was being bullied by these men one time about his dad and kakashi dropped in and whacked them? He always had the conscience to stand up for what was wrong and be there for his comrades but sakumo's death was so traumatic for him, it forced him to change his own beliefs. He became a machine and he believed that carrying out missions as instructed was his only purpose in life, irrespective of what HE felt

because GOD YES he's so so misunderstood by fans half the time and I've seen so many people throw around the term bootlicker for him just cause he didn't throw away everything and leave the village and and join some criminal cult and like no?? The fact that he stayed only shows his strength of character if anything. He could've easily left if he wanted to, he would've made a very sexy villain too but he chose to be hopeful and he chose to remain good and that shows strength of character because it took him a fkn lot to stay in the right path and continue working for the village that took away his father from him.

And it had nothing to do with him being a bootlicker because kakashi is very much his own person and he has his own morals and ideals and he's not a stickler for rules until he believes in them. Yes he did become awfully rule-abiding after Sakumo's death for a while because he saw what listening to your heart instead of adhering to the rules did to his father. He saw the extent to which a previously respected shinobi was villified that he had to resort to taking his own life

And kakashi was angry at sakumo because he was only a small boy who had just lost his father. He couldn't help resent sakumo bc he kept thinking that if only sakumo had just stuck to the rules, he would've still been there with him. that if only he had just done what the village had asked him to, he wouldn't have lost the only family he had. Those were very valid thoughts for a child whose father had just committed suicide but kakashi did know in his heart that his dad was right and that's why he wanted to teach those very principles to the younger generations later on. That's why he told sakumo when they met in the limbo that he was proud of him. But back then when sakumo had just died, kakashi was a grieving child who was angry and dealing with so much pain inside him that he decided he'd never do what cost his father his life. Because he saw right in front of his eyes what happened if you broke the rules and so he did what his 5 year old mind thought he should. But even then, that was never who he was at heart. He never believed in mindlessly abiding by rules and that's what made him consider obito's words and ultimately go back to save rin. Obito's words did not change him, they only helped him see what was already in his heart.

But when obito said those words to him, it resonated with what he truly believed in inside his heart. So yeah, he's no bootlicker, he was just strong willed enough to not give in to the bad things that happened to him. He didn't make an impulse decision. He didn't want to abandon his village. It was his home and despite everything, he loved his home and he valued the people around him. He didn't want to just leave it all. He wanted to stay instead to make the village better, to pass on sakumo's values to the upcoming generations so that they became good shinobi AND humans. To teach his students the power of love and friendship so that they didn't grow up to become the kind of people that had denounced his father. Kakashi didn't want to take revenge for sakumo's death because his actions were never motivated by hatred, but he ensured that his father didn't die in vain.

Leaving would've been much easier for him too,he may have almost even thought of it on nights that were extremely painful, nights when he was completely engulfed with pain and anger at the horrible unfair world but he would've never done it bc that's not him. He CHOSE to listen to the part of his heart that still saw good. Betraying the village that was his home wasn't an option for him

So yeah the fact that he stayed only shows his strength of character. his determination, his judgement, his will to change the village for the better. He refused to pass students unless they knew the value of teamwork. He was the only one who failed team after team and sent them back to academy bc no matter what, he never would've let students who didn't value their comrades become shinobi. Would a bootlicker do that? He broke into root and freed tenzo; when everyone in the village ostracized naruto and iruka had almost made up his mind to ask hiruzen to assign him another student, KAKASHI was the one who told iruka to approach Naruto with love instead. He always had a mind of his own. When team 10 wanted to get their revenge after Asuma's death, kakashi himself offered to accompany them even tho tsunade wasn't initially very enthusiastic about the idea. Would a bootlicker do that? He sneaked naruto off to meet the 4th raikage bc he understood that it was important to Naruto. Would a bootlicker do that? He always did what he thought was right

He realised his mistakes and he changed for the better. He had to raise himself and yet he managed to stay on the right track and make not just a great shinobi but also a great person of himself. He didn't want to leave his home. that was his very identity, that was his world. He wanted to change it, not abandon it. I'm sorry that is not a bootlicker. Danzo had even tried to recruit him or smth once but he'd had the judgement and sense to turn him down

As for hiding his trauma idk what to say to that i mean you can't dictate how someone deals with trauma?? Sure, his ways weren't ideal but what can you expect? He was only a kid. He lost everyone that was important to him before he was even 15 and it's not like he received any help from anybody to heal and get better. The one time he tried to approach jiraiya, he turned kakashi away saying he was putting everyone off by being sad. Ig after that he just decided to stay quiet and keep it all inside himself. The village treated him as a human weapon and he started to see himself that way too because he really didn't care for his life anymore. He suffered from survivor's guilt and he wished he'd die, he hoped one of these missions would kill him. And he was this way for many years but what matters is that he did slowly let himself open up. It took him a long time but he did. He taught his genin team but he learnt from them too. They grew on him, he loved them and cared for them. Sure they were a handful but he they were his handful and he adored them. He could gather up the courage to finally let gai in too and even be verbal about how much he meant to him. It took a long way for him to get there and it was not easy but he got there and that's what matters

SO YEAH PHEW

im sorry that was so long but i get v riled up when people shit on kakashi about these things like you're missing the point and essence of his character and i will throw hands goddamit

The fandom really does misunderstand and misinterpret kakashi v often and there are many instances where i don't agree w the majority so it's so beautiful to me when i see people who think the same way THANK YOU SM I COMPLETELY AGREE W YOU LY <3

#atkspeaks #anon #kakashi

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lexieelouuu11 · 4 years

Text

HC: Peter Parker didn’t know he was Bi until Harley Keener

So this took a turn I wasn’t expecting, also it’s a lot longer than I was expecting I’m sorry also Idk how to do the cut thing so my bad

TW: Mentions of Rape

Okay so Peter Parker is *Straight*

He likes girls, really likes girls

He literally went on a date with Liz (it may have ended with her moving away bc he put her dad in jail but that’s besides the point)

And he may have had a brief crush on MJ

So Peter Parker is *Straight*

Boys are gross, and trust Peter he knows

He doesn’t ever want to think of men in a sexual matter

He 10/10 supports anyone who comes out to him

But anytime he thinks about how boys could possibly be into him, his brain immediately goes to Skip Wescott

And how Peter was 9 when it started and that he never wants to be in a position like that again

It was horrible and scary, and Peter Parker likes women and only women, and he will never be anyone’s Skip. And he will never put himself in a position where there can be another Skip.

So Peter Parker thinks men suck.

(Obviously beside Ned and Mr Stark, they’re cool, but Peter has known Ned forever and Mr Stark is literally a super hero, and Peter only became such a huge fan of Iron Man and Tony Stark because of what happened)

His therapist tells him it was his way of coping with what happened

Then one day Happy picks Peter up at school on an non-lab day because Mr. Stark has someone that he wants Peter to meet

Peter really hopes its the Black Widow (because they’re both spider themed heroes !! how cool !!!)

Peter meets Mr Stark and this mystery person in the living room

Mr Stark introduces Peter Parker to Harley Keener

Harley Keener looks hot good, hes tall and wears a leather jacket and cowboy boots with skinny jeans. He looks so out of place, but he doesn’t look bothered by it either

Peters heart skips a beat, but Peter chalks it up to be anxiety

“Hey there Peter, I’m Harley”

Oh my god he has an accent, an actual southern accent

And doesn’t that just make Peters heart race

“Tony here tells me you’re a real Einstein” He laughed

Harley laughed. Peter is not laughing

Peter hears his blood rushing, and feels himself go cold. His spidey-sense is just going off

Peter looks to Mr Stark whose smile falters at the look of pure-fear on Peters face

Mr Stark doesn’t know. Peter never told him. Any files about what happened never include Peters name, or any family members name, so Mr Stark wouldn’t have stumbled on it, unless he went into Peter’s Therapists notes, which he hasn’t because he may be nosy but he isn’t invasive

Peter knows what this is, he knows he’s going into a panic attack. He was triggered and he needs to get out. Out out out before anything can happen

“So-sorry, I’ve gotta, I gotta go, something came up wi-with May. It was um, it was nice meeting you Harley.”

Peter left, and made it back home, though he doesn’t remember how he made it from Manhattan to Queens and into his apartment.

He’s home and it’s not the safest place, can’t go into his bedroom but it’s better than there

Tony beat him to the apartment (without Harley), already sitting with May when Peter walks in

May is quick to give Peter his favourite over-sized sweater (it makes him feel safe) sitting him down in the living room, putting a knit blanket over him, and giving a bottle of water.

“Pete, you okay kid?” Mr Stark asks

And Peter is fine, he always has been, so he nods

“Do you want to talk about why you were triggered into a panic attack” His voice is soft as he speaks to Peter, like Peter would break

May sits next to Peter, pulling him into her

“Adrian Toomes was not the first person Spider-Man sent to jail” Peter started the story like this because it was easier to tell it, his therapist may not be happy with it but she’ll be happy he’s making progress by telling some

“Spider-Man was 11 when he sent his first person to jail. It was a year long trial, one kid versus one 18 year old. He used to call Spider-Man, Einstein”

Peter seemed to be done with his explanation after this, deeming it enough information for Tony to understand what happened

It wasn’t

But May sending a text that said “Search Skip Wescott” gave Tony the opportunity to find out what happened later

(Tony is really pissed when he reads what happens, and makes sure Skip get transferred to worst prison and that he can never leave)

“Okay, Pete, I’ll talk to Harley about not calling you that. But Harley will be going to the same school as you, okay? That’s why I wanted you two to meet.”

After that first night Peter goes back to being his usual chipper self

And Harley starts at Midtown

Peter was just rounding the corner outside of the school to see Harley getting dropped off by Happy

After a moment of hesitation Peter went up to Harley and offered to help him on his first day (because Peter will not let his overwhelming fear take over and he will be friendly for the sake of Mr Stark and that is all)

Despite Peter’s uneasiness and distrust Peter and Harley get on like a house on fire

Peter started to feel really close to Harley, and Harley would often throw his arm around Peter’s shoulder and call him things like sugar, or sweet thing or darling

And Peter liked that a lot, except he didn’t because it was weird (but he really did)

And Peter would always go tomato red whenever Harley was around

Even Ned and MJ recognized the crush Peter had on Harley and vice versa

“Dude when are you going to make a move on him?”

“What the fuck, Ned? I’m straight, Harley and I are friends”

“Peter are you being serious right now? You both obviously have a crush on each other. Harley knows you like him too.��

“The fuck MJ, I expected you to be more understanding about this. We are friends. Maybe I come off as gay to you because I choose to respect people and am not the exact definition of a ‘toxic male,’ but I don’t fucking like you guy assuming that I like men. Men ain’t shit and I’m not going to find myself in another situation like I used too. I like women”

“What’s your issue Peter? You homophobic now? Didn’t peg you as that.”

“Fuck MJ, this isn’t your business. I’m an ally, people love who they love, but I don’t like men, and you need to stop pushing that on me. I have my reasons, you have yours.”

“Peter, the way you’re going off on MJ isn’t really helping your point much-”

“Would the two of you just shut up about this. I don’t like other guys. Women are it for me. I will not be stuck under another man. Fuck, I’m straight and you need to stop pushing the idea that I’m into Harley just because you want me to live out your little fantasies of what my life should be like.”

Peter didn’t talk to them the rest of the day. Not because he was angry but because he was embarrassed that he said too much

At the tower Peter and Harley were cuddled together sitting next to each other watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine and talking

Peter really loved Harley’s Blue eyes

And his accent

And his face

And Harley in general

But totally only in a friends way

They’re bros

“I want to try something real quick, you can tell me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think I am”

And then Harley kisses Peter

Harley Kisses him

And Peter freaks out

Without even thinking about it, Peter pushes Harley off of him and bolts, leaving the tower without his phone, shoes or bag, Peter just leaves

Once Peter gets outside he throws up, before his anxiety takes over again and he just runs and runs and runs

Harley is left now sitting on the ground, tears in his eyes, confused and hurt about what just happened

Tony makes it to Harley in record time thanks to Friday, and without a question Harley explains what happened

“I thought he liked me too, Tony, I really did. I don’t know how I messed up this bad.”

“I’m sorry Harls, Peter has been hurt a lot and I just don’t think he was ready yet emotionally for a relationship.”

Tony knows that Peter has probably just been triggered. He’s only heard Peter talk about girls romantically, never boys, but he was sure that Peter and Harley were going to be together at some point

Once Harley finally calms down enough and goes to his room Tony calls May

“May, is Peter with you, he left all his stuff here.”

“No, I thought he was staying with you tonight. what happened?”

“Harley kissed Pete, and he freaked out and ran out without any of his stuff, I was hoping he was with you. His phone is here too.”

“I think I know where he is, College Point Park. Ben and I used to take him there after any court date.”

“I’ll meet you there.”

“What about Harley?”

“He’s already asleep, I’ll meet you there.”

Tony and May get there in record time, finding Peter sitting on the rocks facing the East River.

“Peter?” May called out.

Peter turned around, his face clearly red, tears streaming down his face.

“I don’t understand” Peter finally said as May and Tony got close enough

“What don’t you understand?” Tony asked

“Harley kissed me. He kissed me. I expected to hate it. But I didn’t. I liked it when he kissed me. I should hate it though. He’s a boy. I shouldn’t have liked it.”

“Peter it’s okay if you liked Harley Kissing you, and it’s okay if you like him romantically too” May tried to comfort

“But it’s not May, because if I like Harley, and I like him kissing me then that means that I liked it when Skip kissed me. And I didn’t like anything he did to me.”

“Peter, I like when Pepper and I kiss, but that doesn’t mean that if May were to kiss me that I’d like it. Same thing goes for you kiddo.”

“I like girls though. I can’t like Harley.”

“You can like both boys and girls. You could be Bisexual or maybe not. No matter what it’s okay.” May said again.

“I need time. I can’t- I need Dr Rosenburg and I need to not be Spider-Man and I need to not see Harley or Ned or MJ. I need time.”

“Okay baby, you can have as much time as you need.”

Peter ends up taking a week off of school, with daily appointments with his therapist. He went completely ghost mode. Wasn’t active as Spider-Man, wasn’t active on social media. Didn’t read or respond to anyone’s messages. Only talking to May or Tony and only if they were at the apartment.

After his week off, Peter finally reappeared at school, still having not responded to anyone’s messages, preferring to just deal with things in person.

“Peter oh my god you’re alive we all thought you died.” Ned shouted from down the hall going to greet his friend, MJ and Harley in tow.

“I’m fine guys, I just had some stuff from the past come back up that needed to be dealt with before I did anything that would hurt other people.”

“What are you talking about Parker, you wouldn’t hurt a fly let alone anyone else.” MJ said confused

“I’ll tell you when I’m ready too but I’m not there yet. My therapist thinks I made good progress this week though.”

“Your therapist?” Ned asked.

“Uh yeah, sorry. MJ, Ned, I really messed up with how I treated you guys the other day, regarding my sexuality, turns out I may of been wrong and you guys were right, I just repressed any of those emotions due to trauma. So, I’m sorry you didn’t deserve that.”

Ned and MJ obviously forgive Peter bc duh they’re friends

“I would like to talk to Harley privately though, so you guys wouldn’t mind?”

So Peter pulls Harley to the side finally getting the chance to talk to him, and wanted to say his words before he lost his nerves.

“Peter I’m sorry-”

“I liked when you kissed me. That’s why I freaked out. I didn’t think it was possible for me to like that, or men. I’m sorry for pushing you away. I wasn’t prepared and my brain automatically went to a dark place. I like you Harley Keener, but I have problems and I want you to be aware of that before we do anything.”

“Okay.”

“If we are going to try this I need you to be aware of my limits. I have a lot of them apparently, and I’m not sure if more will come up or not, but my therapist said that I should talk to you about this stuff before we do anything. If you still like me, that is.”

“Peter Parker you are too precious, of course I still like you, I don’t plan on not liking you for a while yet.”

And then Peter smiles and he feels relieved, because getting to this point took a lot of work and now he’s here and he likes a boy who likes him back who won’t hurt him

#parkner #parley #peter parker #peterparker #harleykeener #harley keener #bi peter parker #bi peter #irondad #spiderson #insecure #skipwescott #marvel #marvel cinematic universe #mcu

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mrskurono · 2 years

Note

Hi Three! Thanks for replying to me. I hope your week is going well <3

I really just wanted to have a more clear mind and “detox” because my last job was so toxic. I didn’t even realize how much I needed this break until I realized how catty my former supervisor was. Anyway, I’m currently at home trying to plan ahead for getting into grad school but I’ll apply to jobs again. You’re right! Personal wellness is so important.

Ugh, I can imagine that once I’m married to Bokuto it gets worse because he has pictures of us on our wedding day, pictures of our kids, etc. His teammates have to deal with him showing off all the time XD Oh gosh, I forgot that Iwa was an only child but I totally agree with you! That warms my heart that he cherishes time and attention.

Kageyama is a cutie! I only selfship with 3 Haikyuu men but I can never forget the ones I liked First so I feel that 😂

I’m so close to finishing season 1 but I love the show! It’s really interesting plot wise and I have such soft spots for some of the characters. I haven’t read the manga yet! The main reason I started it was because you and Rae started talking about it. But when I saw the “mommy milkers” or muscles of characters in one of your posts/Rae’s(?) posts I knew I was done for. I was like “I must watch this” but it took me a few weeks to finally do it aha

Ugh, Obi is one of my types but I didn’t know he’s an Aries! Yeah, I love that he’s so important even in the first season. He’s so jacked! It’s crazy! I will say I would also like to be strong as hell like Obi! It’s okay Three, I’m only 5’0 so I’d look like a child next to him 😂

Aww, I totally agree! I can see him sobbing because he really didn’t expect it but he’d be so sweet about it. He’d be telling everyone about it aha. I’d fall for him because of his dad energy. The moment I see him talk and interact with kids, I’ve fallen for him. He definitely respects his significant other.

Wah! I’ve seen Kurono but not in the anime yet! I will say the other Fire Force man I’m interested in is Waka but Obi is my main one for now lol

I hope you have a great day and take care Three 💕

-😊 anon

Of course ♡ And honestly not to bad, the mom rage is only mildly simmering aside the pms rage. I hope your hump day has treated you well!

Toxic work environments are soul sucking. I mean jobs as a whole are soul sucking but it's worse day in and day out with coworkers who make it worse. I didn't hate my coworkers but I'm also not sorry to not go back to work either bc you can only deal with drama so much. So I'm glad you've put yourself first! ♡

Bokuto is borderline annoying with photos I think we can all agree on that 😂 But its a good thing he has a certain charm to him that keeps people from wanting to strangle him every time he rolls up with a photo album of the last six months of your family life 😂

Kags was far from the first one I liked (RIP sorry Hinata) but he's definitely stuck with me as my fav even over Atsumu shhh

That was me and the mommy milkers thing 😂😂😂 The irony? I hate the bara body type on dudes I can't see Obi or Vulcan sexually at all 😂 But to be fair...once you get more Vulcan, I'm pretty sure you and Rae will have a lot to talk about for that man 😂😏 But Fire Force is still one of those shows that you literally enjoy everyone. I've yet to encounter a character I don't enjoy to some capacity. And the writing is <333

I might be 5'8 but damn well I'm gonna take on Obi, it's in my Aires blood to do so

Obi oozes daddy energy but like in the purest way possible so he gets my seal of approval. I adore Obi as a character. Not sexually attracted to him but him and I can chill in a hot tub five feet apart bc we're not gay 😂

Shhh....just...just ignore Kurono he's....something....I still can't explain myself, that's just my husband and I love him more than any 2d man ever >.>

Waka has a soft spot. He reminds me of Rae so I do still kinda have a soft spot for a tiny lil angry pisces of a man <3

#just...just ignore kurono #i dont wanna explain myself XD #he's an interesting character ok and manga kurono gets kinda maybe nicer I swear XD #hes just...something ok #but he's my husband #im almost sure you'll like vulcan heheh #i hope you day is well <3 #😊.♡#three.talks #anon

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the-gayest-tree-you-ever-did-see · 3 years

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i’ve had family members who tested positive and were really sick, so i can’t imagine what it must of been like for you. it’s frustrating bc this whole wave could’ve been prevented with a more competent government.

i feel like the women do more of the running around and getting ready, so the dads and uncle zone is a lot more chill. maybe if one of my uncles wasn’t so creepy I’d hang out with them lmao.

haha, i haven’t read aru shah or finished the magnus chase series. i do remember really like alex and magnus at around book two. i heard they ended up together which is rlly nice!!

also shout out to uncle rick for having so many lgbt characters in his children’s/middle grade books. middle school me definitely benefitted from nico being gay.

me too!! they wanted a warlock and shadowhunter themed wedding 🥺 also having everyone there was so perfect. i do wish alec coming out was more focused in on in the books, instead of the whole clary and jace possible incest storyline. it would have been a lot more interesting.

also on the tollywood thing: you’re so right about low budget movies often being better. in addition to better acting, the stories are often better cause the directors are less formulaic. like some of the best telugu thrillers have actors and directors I’ve never heard of. also jathi ratnalu is one of my all time favorite telugu movies (go watch it if u haven’t! it’s good for when u need a laugh)

a tiny tree babe- you’d be like to below my shoulder 🥺🥺🌳

i.. i thought we were kissing for real this whole time /j

i guess we can kiss officially now *plays wedding orchestra*

mwah! (you’re stuck with me forever now <3)

- indi with an extra heart <3

exactly, modi didnt even do the bare minimum and somehow it's our fault for literally not having enough room to breathe? it makes me even more mad when i read articles from the us bc they clearly did only the basic research and dont seem to understand the extent of it, or they play it up like everyone in india is poor and thats why we're dying like ??? theres a reason this didnt happen before and theres a reason it is happening now. like use your critical thinking skills, they teach you that in first class.

definitelyyyy, if im with the women i get dragged into chores and spend the whole night wrangling kids and serving food to men who are sweaty from laughing so hard, but when im with the men, i can still have fun and chill, but also help out and be useful, and i get to pick the balance. most of my uncles are pretty creepy, but theyre always on their best behavior around me bc im from the us (not bc they want to impress me, but bc they want info on me to tear me down, essentially. they kind of hate me, but jokes on them bc i take and take the juicy gossip and leave before i have to give.)

the magnus chase series is probably one of my favorite books out of the stuff rick's written, and ofc alex has a special place in my heart. i really loved the way the whole series was written, you should read the third book if you can!! and aru shah will always occupy some corner of my mind, it's amazing!! indian rep, indian queer rep, everything is so accurate, and theres a telugu character, plus yk. monsters and dragons and magic and stuff. and chandra!! chandra is The Most god ever, he is So aesthetic.

no but actually, once i read nico's story i was like okay fucker (me) you have to figure this out, no running away and promptly broke down crying hysterically, but!! i came out of gay as fuck so its all okay in the end. plus seeing rick go from white protag, white antag, white heroine, black sidekick, and barely any rep in lightning thief, to an incredibly diverse cast of all different shapes, sizes, colors, sexuality, gender identities, socioeconomic backgrounds, familial situations, and on and on and on, it's just... im almost proud of him? even though he's like 57 lmao

ikr, i couldve cared less about who jace ended up with, and i was cool with whatever clary had going on, but as SOON as alec was in the picture my gay ass took the wheel and shoved any straight remnants of me in the trunk to die of oxygen deprivation. im so happy that the red scrolls of magic series exists bc it gave me literally everything i wanted.

omh yessss, jathi ratnalu is so fucking funny, i loved it so much!! that one guy who was like "if im the problem, then tell me, ill leave" every time (i think lol, cant translate telugu to english very well) that was sooo funny, i lost my mind at that movie.

😌 i am v v smol boi,,,,,,,,,, inside i am ginormous but outside i am. tiny

*wedding bells ring* do you, indiphannon, hereby take this bastard, treeman, to be the most annoying husband ever?

mwah! (i never want to leave <3)

ily indi! <3

#asks #indiphannon #the tree speaks

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jonathanrook · 3 years

Note

legally i have to give you intern 2

em you have awoken an ungodly beast inside me so i need to warn everyone that this post is. incomprehensible. but so is mymusic so i guess we're all used to it.

How I feel about this character:

i watched mymusic as it was airing/running/coming out specifically bc i'm a jack stannie, and as a kid melvin was my second favorite character (w scene being in first, obvs) for mostly that reason. he basically hovered around this ranking until my most recent rewatch in the summer of 2020, which was actually spurred by some events in my personal life that vaguely reminded me of scene's season two arc w jeff, and i thought it'd been a funny/nostalgic way to get my mind off things.

(i want to side note here that -- i know you didn't ask, but -- i love jeff. i have since i was a kid. like, obviously not as a person but i think he's honestly the best written character in the series, w indie close in second. idk what it says about the f*nes that their most interesting and well rounded characters are the villains, but i digress. to this day i'm salty that jeff never got added to the theme song and wasn't really included in promotional merch.)

however, in said rewatch, certain things about how he was written started to really get under my skin, and certain moments in particular have really stuck out to me in a negative way. like, for the entirety of season one and a good chunk of season two he's one person, and then he leaves mymusic and we have an entirely different person, but not in a nuanced character building sort of way.

i've said a few of these points before but i'll repeat them here regardless. at the risk of sounding like i've put on a tin-foil hat, it's my sneaking suspicion that scindie was supposed to be endgame, but since fan reception to it was pretty neutral, and scenechart stans were, at the very least, more vocal, changes were made to the intended finale, which is why in the last scene he's basically just. indie. like, if everything about the show was exactly the same but indie was the one who had ended up w scene in the end that would have made so much more sense since a) scene had a crush on indie that he/everyone knew about and b) indie was kind of a dick despite the half-assed attempts at redemption, so both combined make it slightly less weird/out-of-nowhere that he kisses her w/o her consent (since, even though like. implied consent is not real at worst and a fuzzy subject at best but you could argue that scene would want indie to kiss her); and this isn't even taking into consideration that c) melvin is heavily queer-coded in both seasons, with his friendship with nerdcore being, dare i say, homoerotic at times, and his arc about leaving the company and changing his name mirroring nerdcore's almost perfectly (with nerdcore being a character who b*nny [at least] has all but confirmed is actually gay).

i've also been on the fence about melvin's behavior in that final scene making more sense for indie's character being an intentional decision as a way of shoe-horning in a theme about the lasting effects of abuse/cycles of abuse/the corruption of power but i also don't think the f*nes are smart enough for that. however, for the sake of defending my straw theory, i also point to the scene where indie comes to visit the acid factory after melvin told him to shut up, and we see melvin use reggie as a foot-stool, going as far as to say that it feels good to do so (which, in all honesty, i think is a bit that was entirely improvised, since the f*nes were "notorious for never saying cut" [paraphrased from a bts video], but work w me here). he's also given a seltzer mug that perfectly resembles indie's kombucha mug. in these moment melvin is directly emulating the behavior of his previous abuser, purposefully or not, literal moments after being promoted to an equal position of authority, which was totally just included as a joke, but could also be argued is meant to show that he's becoming indie; or, if we acknowledge that the f*nes have no fucking clue what they're doing and were just directing like chickens with their heads cut off, it at least shows that melvin's new position of power is leading him to understand where indie was coming from, which is supported by their conversation in the finale.

the following contains a couple brief mentions of irl sexual assault so if that's something you'd like to avoid skip to the next section!

HOWEVER, that alone isn't what i have a problem with, since i think melvin is completely justified in being a dick to indie (and also reggie enthusiastically consents to being used as an ottoman so good for him i guess). the issue comes completely in how he treats scene in the scenes where the f*nes clearly thought what they were writing was super romantic. like, the fact that the only thing he's got hung on his cubicle wall is a single picture of scene taken from the fucking opening credits (like. how hard would it have been to have. literally any other photo[s] esp since there's an abundance of cute bts pics of the cast in costume that could have been put there) and him scrolling through her twitter at work really creep me out (and at the risk of oversharing the weird, like, social media stalking angle really fucks w me bc that may or may not have been the exact fucking thing i was trying to escape in rewatching mymusic in the first place). also, having him sexually assault scene as a means of comforting her after she had just been sexually assaulted in the same way by someone else was... a choice (which is also, uh, personally familiar).

again, i recognize that demonizing melvin wasn't what the f*nes were trying to do here, and i perhaps seem hypocritical for opening liking jeff, but what makes jeff work is he's intentionally "the bad guy." having melvin do the same things as indie and jeff uncritically only proves further that the f*nes can't write for shit, and ruins his character which had, up until he quit mymusic, been unironically good. like, it's obviously not beneficial that the exact asshole things he does are personally triggering, but the character would still be a mess and i would still dislike him regardless.

i want to say though that jack delivers a surprisingly great performance despite how shoddily his character is constructed and how little experience he has as an actor. like, it's clear he was having a lot of fun on set and i would love to see him in something, like, good; i think he could pull off even like, guest television roles, which is a lot more than can be said for other youtubers.

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All the people I ship romantically with this character:

nerdchart should have been canon i'm sorry. i know that close, nonromantic male friendships are valuable, esp between queer men, but also gd wouldn't it have been baller to have a canon interracial mlm ship. like. c'mon. and they could have been such a good friends to lovers story! we already got to see how melvin was the only person nerdcore could really be himself around so it would have been so cool if melvin's self-advocacy arc/flowchart arc had revolved more around nerdcore with a little role-reversal! and then they kiss! like god intended!

also i ship him and indie bc i'm a grubby little gremlin man ohoho. enemies w weird sexual tension? sign me up. not even enemies to lovers i'm not saying this one should have been canon i just love the vibes. do you think melvin and indie ever explored each other's bod-- *gunshot*

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My non-romantic OTP for this character:

i wish him and scene had just been bros. god remember in season one when they were just bros that was the life.

alternatively, i wish we'd seen more bonding w him and metal, as a means of reconciling that. uh. moment from season one. along similar lines i would have loved to see him get closer w rayna in a similar way to how she bonded w nerdcore in season two. i think that could have also worked to show how she'd grown between the two seasons.

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My unpopular opinion about this character:

HIM. AND. SCENE. SHOULD. HAVE. JUST. BEEN. BROS. (though i think my general dislike of him is pretty unpopular, lmao).

when the show was coming out i don't think it's unfair to say that scenechart/scenetern 2 was the most popular ship (aside from potentially techstep whatever) but luckily we're all gay and have better taste now. unfortunately i totally fell into this camp and scenechart was even my otp for years (until it was arguably more unfortunately usurped by reddie in 2019) and i didn't even realise that it's a hot mess until, again, the summer of 2020.

when actually watching the show the choices the f*nes made in regards to how the ship actually became canon are so odd and out of place, too? okay, so, on one hand everyone just shipped scenechart bc it was the whitest hettiest ship in the show (esp in season two when idol left) aside from scindie (and we already discussed what's wrong w that). but, on the other hand, lainey and jack clearly also just got along? and i suspect that lainey probably also admired jack's work and was happy to be working with him bc we have so many shots throughout even the first season when the ship wasn't the intended endgame of lainey scene looking really fondly at jack melvin at times when it doesn't make much sense at all, esp since she's smitten w indie? this trend continues into the second season which arguably works but it still seems really out of place for him to be the one to ultimately make the first move on her since it's clear she was the one crushing this whole time and also he's gay! this bitch is gay what the fuck!!

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One thing I wish had happened with this character in canon:

at this point i'm struggling to think of anything i haven't covered yet. oops.

i've talked at length before about how he should have been a woman/lesbian, but the tl;dr is that it would have solved a lot of the queer-coding "problems" that just didn't get resolved in the show. if he'd been a lesbian then not only would the friendship w nerdcore still made sense, but scenechart would have as well (not even mentioning that both of scene's other relationships w men make a lot of sense as comphet anyway).

#long post #this took me an hour to write i literally had to get a snack in the middle of it #mymusicshow #mymusic show #question #mlentertainment #also having a character named scene when you have to write about scenes like. in a story is an absolute bitch

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szivtalan · 4 years

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character ask: kagami, momoi, alex and himuro 👀👀👀

!!! omg thank u Ceru! u might be one of my favorite mutuals <33 (putting this under a read more just so I can speak at lengths about each individual character)

Why I like Kagami: this is where I sarcastically ask “why DON’T i like him” but that’s literally the next question so; he’s everything i want to be and more. He has the determination and the willpower to make his own dreams come true, he’s gay as shit, he’s tall and buff and well-adjusted, mature enough to live on his own at an annoyingly young age, he’s funny and dumb and a total himbo as well as an excellent advisor bc of how grounded he is.

Why I don’t: I’m... not really good with explosive people. Violent men with loud voices especially scare me, and I’d think I’d flinch around him a lot and that would make me rlly anxious.

Favorite episode: it’s a toss-up between the Seirin fam visiting his place for the first time (is it where Kuroko confesses his love to him and then passes out in his arms? idk), and the onsen episode. I also loved all his plays against Kise and Aomine. AND the training camp w him running a lot in the sand.

Favorite season/movie: season 2 probably because he’s not a jerk anymore, but he’s still on his way to shed off any asshole behavior stuck to him. And I actually liked Last Game?

Favorite line: “There’s no such thing as useless effort.” and “This is our drama and we write the plot.” because he’s so ridiculous.

Favorite outfit: all of his casual fits... comfy but manly is my Jam

OTP: AoKaga....they’re truly soulmates, star-crossed lovers, canonically brought together by fate.

Brotp/otp no. 2: KagaKuro, I love them

Head Canon: I have several collections because I think too much about this boy, but here’s something I think about his family: he doesn’t know what happened to his mom. He never asked, because it wasn’t relevant, and he didn’t want to inconvenience his dad by questioning him. Occasionally, as a kid he felt like he was missing out on something (seeing other kids with their moms, feeling like they’re being treated with much more gentle care because they have moms), but as he grew older he realized that nurturing behavior shouldn’t have been limited to only a mother, and that he was just straight up neglected without any regards to missing a parent in his life.

Unpopular opinion: I never realized this was an unpopular opinion but I’m glad he went back to America at the end of Last Game. Obviously, it’s sad that he had to separate from the others, but I felt like Japanese basketball has always been just a stepping point to him, and now that he’d beat the best of them, it was time to move on. And it also warms my heart that him getting scouted in the US gave Aomine hope to aim big, too. I felt like both of them would’ve felt trapped in Japan with their skill sets.

A wish: I want him to be happy and gay and to confront Himuro and tell him how hurt he was by how he treated him and probably do the same to his dad too

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: ....whatever I’d say Shinsun has probably written it/will write it, but I don’t want him to forget about the GoM just because he becomes a world-famous athlete.

5 words to best describe them: sweet child with anger issues

My nickname for them: not mine (it’s Sypha’s) but “Kags”, Kagami, Tigerboy, Kagababe, Baby

Why I like Momoi: she is SO nurturing and sweet and she cares so much about her boys!! I’m sorry it always turns into “how they remind me of myself” but actually I get feeling like a background character and being the moral/emotional/physical support of those who are more talented or in any way better than you. I feel a strange kind of kinship with her and also,,, feminine girls make my heart stop, and it doesn’t get more feminine than Momoi. Added: Aomine aside, the Touou team wouldn’t worth shit without her skills tbh, and she’s not in any way less than the GoM. Also, I appreciate her being the one person to try to keep their friend group together.

Why I don’t: Analytical People Scare me like!! how do u know stuff people are Unknowable!! I usually am also irked by her pointing out Riko’s breast size but I can just pretend that’s in a gay way (maybe Momoi likes girls with small boobs and she’s just bad at flirting) (also I don’t exactly liked her calling Aomine a “ganguro” but I have too little knowledge on the use of this word to say exactly why)

Favorite episode (scene if movie): uh the one where Aomine made her cry? It really came through how much love she actually has for her friends at that one.

Favorite season/movie: she was great in all of them!!

Favorite line: I can’t remember the exact quote and Google isn’t really helpful either but the one where she made Kuroko promise they’ll always play together or something? Or that they’re gonna beat Aomine?? idk?

Favorite outfit: I like all of them but mostly I just appreciate her wearing so many hoodies, she looks so cute in them

OTP / Brotp: it’s both AoMomo. I feel like the have the most special and strongest bond in the entire series.

Head Canon: She’s never been shown to do, but I feel like she wears Aomine’s clothes a Lot. Also, they definitely have sleepovers To This Day.

Unpopular opinion: Momoi is good at basketball and she loves playing!!! But try being successful in it when ur opponents are Giants and Way More Buff than you are

A wish: I wish people appreciated her more!! Both in fandom and in canon. She’s an amazing person and she has her own skills and strengths that are rarely explored or even mentioned anywhere.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: her falling out with her boys ;-; I do not want that

5 words to best describe them: strawberry sweetheart to steal ur heart

My nickname for them: Satsuki :> I feel like it’s a little too much to call characters on their first names sometimes but hers is so cute I can’t

Why I like Alex: yet again another woman with an extensive skill set. I love her persistence and again I appreciate getting disillusioned and finding your way back to the thing you love. Also it’s just sweet that she did that by teaching (again, something I can relate to)

Why I don’t: the whole “kissing children” thing rubbed me the wrong way but again, just like Momoi’s obsession with comparing breast sizes, it’s just bad/sexist writing from Fujimaki probably

Favorite episode (scene if movie): adshg any and all where she expressed that Himuro and Kagami are equally important to her <33 that shit makes my heart burst

Favorite season/movie: she only appears towards the end of s2 and in s3 so... I guess s3?

Favorite line: its so Bad that u literally can’t find the iconic quotes of these iconic ladies anywhere but... her story on finding her passion again through teaching kids, and anytime she mentions her fondness of Kagami and Himuro.

Favorite outfit: her iconic olive green coat with the short red shorts... wtf was that I loved it.

OTP: she doesn’t really interact with people her age but I’ve heard she’s shipped with Masako Araki and I’ve seen some seriously good fanarts and like... Yes Good I’d Love To See It

Brotp: I feel like her and Himuro would be that sassy pair that Kagami tries and fails to contain and they get into all sorts of weird, absurd situations asdjs what I’m trying to say is Kagami has to bail them out of jail from time to time

Head Canon: fck me if I’m wrong but she’s the lesbian single mom of the two gay kids she reluctantly adopted from the streets

Unpopular opinion: it’s more like another headcanon, but she can dunk and she taught Kagami how to do it.

A wish: I’d love her to coach the Seirin fam more!! Pls let her be part of her children’s lives (she could also judge streetball games between the goms it would be fun)

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: anything about her being romantically involved with her pupils makes me.................no

5 words to best describe them: Beautiful Beach Blonde Basketball....goddess

My nickname for them: Alex!! sometimes An Icon

Why I like Himuro: em dash Asdgsdj I’m joking, I’m becoming more and more fond of the boy. Once I realized that he shouldn’t have been the “bigger person” in that situation and one year doesn’t really mean much when you’re that young and that hurt, I realized he’s actually a good and hard-working kid and I’m sorry for giving him so much shade. Also I really like his snark and sass, but that might not even be canon at this point tbh

Why I don’t: I’m still sort of irked by him beating down on Kagami because he was envious/mad, but I realized the aspect of that situation that Really got to me was how devoted Kagami still was to him after all that. That devotion was what felt toxic, nothing that Himuro actually did to him.

Favorite episode (scene if movie): the time they met up w Kagami just to exchange a dramatic socially distancing bro fist and a few encouraging words.... gays be Like That

Favorite season/movie: I really didn’t mind s3 Himuro

Favorite line: apparently he’s said some iconic stuff that I don’t remember (and my sources don’t seem really legit) but I’m gonna say “let’s see you become number 1, bro” because again, that’s just so ridiculous and endearing. On one hand he really went from loathing Kagami to rooting for him and wanting him to reach his full potential and on the other, honey ur like 17 stop speaking like That

Favorite outfit: his knitted V-neck sweaters and the black coat with the white fur.... boy’s got all the fashion sense that’s missing from Kagami

OTP: can I say.....AoHimu asdfh I ship 3/4 of these characters with Aomine what does that say about me

Brotp: KagaHimu. They can be sweet, but I’ve only ever seen Jake write them really well

Head Canon: I’ve been entertaining the idea of....trans Himuro.....

Unpopular opinion: everyone thinks that Kagami is the violent kid and Himuro is the chill, sweet child who’s somehow wound up with this mess of a fiery tiger, but it’s actually Himuro who taught Kagami how to fight and Kagami learned quite a lot of aggression from him

A wish: I feel like Himuro should’ve gotten a separate episode to explore his thoughts, feelings and past. He had so much potential as a character Is2g

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: him quitting basketball would fucking destroy me. I’d be devastated for others too, but it would really pull on my heartstrings if he just dropped the only thing he’s been so passionate about.

5 words to best describe them: gender-non-conforming emo child

My nickname for them: Himu, Tatsuya, Tatsu

#ask and i shall answer #izukillme #himuro tatsuya #alex garcia #momoi satsuki #kagami taiga #this is long as fuck #also happy birthday himuro??!!!!!

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lucielovekj · 3 years

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Rules: Answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better.

Tagged by: @queenofnothing07 (thank you! I enjoy these) (under the cut since it’s kinda long)

Name/Nickname: Lucie

Gender: Woman? I guess? My gender is always a point of internal contention for me lmao

Star Sign: Aries 🔥

Height: 5'5 I THINK

Time: 8pm approximately

Birthday: 26th March 🌸

Favorite Bands: (OKAY I’m always super nervous to talk about music I like, because I know celebs generally suck, and I don’t follow or care about any of them I literally just care about music so...idk bare that in mind 😅) I listen to a lot of standard pop-punk bs like fall out boy, Panic! At the Disco, Paramore, All Time Low, P!nk, icon for hire, the occasional Bastille (sorry lol) if an emo teen would like it I’m probably into it. My fav band for a lot of my life is/was a small English band called The Hoosiers! I will listen to just about anything though, it’s very varied

Favorite Solo Artists: MARINA!! Melanie Martinez, I loved Emilie Autumn as a kid, and I enjoy the whole “half-written story” EP by Hailee Steinfeld, who I know nothing about but she’s apparently Emily Dickinson in Dickinson. I’m also loving Britney, both her music and just as a person

Song Stuck in My Head: Um.........the death note musical soundtrack. It was one of my weird quarantine discoveries. I’ve never even seen the anime.

Last Movie: Muppet Family Christmas (on Boxing Day)

Last Show: Currently watching last years Bake Off

When Did I Create This Blog: 4th of Jan 2014, apparently!

What Do I Post: um, I guess mostly disney, some Barbie, some MLP, some Avatar, and a decent amount of complaining (and gay shit)

Last Thing I Googled:...................Macklemore

Other Blogs: I have a Sims one, which I use to catalogue all the CC I’m using, and my art blog (obvs), and a scarcely used gay disney blog called sapphicdisney

Do I Get Asks: occasionally? Not really since I turned anon off because of that one anti-harlivy anon

Why I Chose My URL: WELL, back in my very early teens i was really into Emilie Autumn and gothic-Victorian-esque aesthetics, I changed how I spelt my name online and chose the “love” because I felt it had that kind of vibe...it still fits well bc I’m super into lovecore and honestly I just like how it looks (and the KJ is just my other 2 initials)

Following: 933 (so few???)

Followers: 1,561

Average Hours of Sleep: either 3 or 11 there’s no in-between

Lucky Number: 🤔🤔🤔 2

Instruments: none 😭 I’ve tried many times, but circumstance got in the way. As a kid I wanted to play piano (like Beth from Little Women lmao) but we couldn’t afford it. I love to sing tho! But I’m too shy to sing in front of people

What I’m Wearing: Christmas penguin pjs

Dream Job: Literally anything art related tbh! Although my goal pre-lockdown was working in a Morphe store, bc I have a love for fun eyeshadow

Dream Trip: Paris for as long as I want. I’ve been once, but only for a few days, and I want a few days just to look round the Louvre! And then the Disneyland!

Favorite Food: instant noodles & pizza

Nationality: White & English

Favorite Song: they change all the time so here’s a few current favs! Your Name Hurts by Hailee Steinfeld, Beautiful Trauma by P!nk, All You Wanna Do from Six the Musical, All Men Are Pigs by Studio Killers, Karma & To Be Human by Marina, Dangerous to Dream from Frozen Broadway. That was a lot sorry.

Last Book I Read: God it’s been a while...I read book 1 of Harley Quinn: Rebirth in October, but the last actual book I finished was Will my Cat Eat my Eyeballs by Caitlin Doughty (who I LOVE) which is a collection of questions and answers about death and dying 💕

Top Three Fictional Universes I’d Like To Live In: I used to desperately want to live in the Harry Potter universe but I’ve pretty much purged that from my life now. I guess I’d like to be a princess in a Disney universe or a classic Barbie movie. OR the DC universe where I could go full balls to the wall insane and have a whole supervillain theme that I use to cope with my tragic backstory.

As for tagging, I’d love to see any of my mutuals do this if you feel like it, but no obligation!

#if any of the singers or musicians suck I’m REALLY sorry #all I do is listen to their sounds lmao

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solidsnakessolidcakes · 4 years

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can we get some more Two-Bit, Tim, Darry, Dally and Johnny in a poly relationship hc? it just sounds so cute

Hey Anon I fucking adore you—

I don’t remember if I shared any of these before so forgive me if some of these are repeats

Originally it was just Dally and Johnny in one relationship and Darry and TwoBit in one

Eventually Darry and TwoBit add Tim bc they got drunk together and were gosipping abt how cute he is

By the time they get together Dally and Johnny have both turned 18 for obvious reasons

TwoBit was the one to suggest it. Tim didn’t care but Darry didn’t want to

Eventually they came to the agreement TwoBit would date all of them but Darry and Tim wouldn’t be dating Dally and Johnny

But Dally and Johnny are sad they can’t sleep in the same bed as TwoBit every night so eventually they buy a bigger bed and let them sleep in it too

At one point Dally gets a nightmare and ends up waking Darry up while he’s panicking

Darry just silently starts cuddling him to shut him up

Tim and TwoBit wake up before them and take pictures to show everyone

Dally steals their phones and deletes them

After that they all silently agreed they were all dating

Johnny fake cries to get sympathy from Darry

(It works very well)

Oftentimes Pony forgets he’s brothers-in-law with Dally and Johnny

When he remembers he freaks out

Dally definitely tells him random things about their sex life just to freak him out

Most of this relationship is Darry and Johnny desperately trying to keep their boyfriends out of jail

Okay so this is self indulgent and a little weird but hear me out:

Dally, Tim and Johnny are all trans but Tim has the biggest tits

Sometimes everyone will get into an argument about who gets to lay on them

There was at least one fist fight over it

They all get into a flour fight at one point. Johnny is hiding on top of the fridge, Darry is crying over how he has to clean this up and the other three are being children

Darry and Johnny really want kids and convince the other three

Dally names his Wisconsin

2 toughest hoods,,, bein soft,,, with each other 🥺

They have a groupchat that’s mostly them making fun of each other through memes

Lots of New Yorker jokes

Dally takes them to New York at one point and they never want to go again

Dally has a pet rat named Chester and when he dies is the first time they all see him cry

They can’t technically all marry each other legally, so legally Darry and Tim are married and Dally and TwoBit are married. Johnny is just single press F

It’s very confusing to explain to everyone

“We’re all dating”

“Oh who’s dating who?”

“No we’re all dating each other.”

“What?”

People frequently ask Darry why he dates 3 trans men if he’s gay

Most of the time that results in a punch to the face

They don’t let Tim dye his hair so he dyes Dally’s

Man those poor kids are prolly fucked up

No they’re all actually very loving parents

Parent/teacher conferences are confusing

“Oh you didn’t need to bring her uncles...!”

“We didn’t.”

Darry is Papa, TwoBit is Dada, Tim is Dad, Dally is Pa and Johnny is Bubba

Johnny is Bubba because it was the first thing their oldest baby said when looking at him and it just stuck

#dallas winston #johnny cade #the outsiders #darry #darrel curtis #tim shepard #twobit mathews #headcanons

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merrysithmas · 5 years

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you may have talked about this before but do you believe boris already knew he was queer and first approached theo bc he liked him or that he started crushing after they developed a close friendship and theo was what made him question his sexuality? i think theres reasons to believe either side- boris being bold enough to cuddle him in bed seems like he was making a move but him suddenly “loving” kotku seems like an impulsive move out of fear bc he realized he might like a boy. oof idk

I think Boris knew he was attracted to boys — which is evident by his playful, charming, almost teenaged-desperate pursuit of Theo. I think he probably inherently knew this about himself for a long time. I think Boris has always been physically attracted to boys since he’s entered puberty and since he’s still a young teen it is kind of a fun, funny, interesting, enlivening thing for him.

He’s never had a stable life and despite being all over the world he’s led an extremely sheltered existence in a certain way with only one terrible person as his constant (Vladimir). Boris lets it slip to Theo that everywhere the miners go they are hated — this includes Boris. Boris is hated by the public everywhere they go. So long as he is part of their unit, he is hated. That is mortifying to intelligent good-natured Boris. That is why he learns to slip out and around, to be so personable and friendly. His world travels have not been so glorious but probably rather extremely lonely and isolating (as with Judy in Canada), hurtful, and damaging. That is why Bami and Judy (and eventually, Theo) stand out to him so much — people who were kind to him in a childhood of isolated misery and directionlessness. Boris has no moral hang ups about his same-sex attraction - why should he? This directionlessness in his key developmental years is also a good thing: He never grew up around any sort of organized belief systems or stayed bound within an orthodox culture for too long for it to indoctrinate him as its own.

I think people really underestimate how incredibly remote and friendless Boris’ life must have been. Boris is a cheerful boy who Theo says is often plagued by black moods and sullen attitudes. He is an abused and secluded child dragged from location to location with literally no love or stability and constantly brutally beaten to the point where it does not even phase him. Boris actually equates love with that abuse — and nonchalantly claims his father loves him. That is painful to read, that amount of damage.

Living with a bunch of derelict miners whose leader was HIS FATHER (so surely then mostly assholes) and who are “hated everywhere they go” Boris has probably seen any NUMBER of things a conservative-minded person would (likely often erroneously) see as “morally unacceptable” — it’s like Boris is traveling the world with a crew of pirates. He’s probably seen drinking, all kinds of drugs commonly used in front of his face. He has esoteric knowledge about drug use that a child of his age should not — so he was taught by the miners: roll like this, dont include the stems, never mix this, tuck snuff like this, you can get this kind of drug here here and here, it isn’t safe if it doesn’t look like this. His young child’s mind eager to learn sucked up this black information from men who probably didn’t have a second thought to a child or what his developmental needs were. He’s probably first hand witnessed sex workers copulating with his father’s crew (how else would be have learned about the opportunity to lose his virginity in an Alaskan parking lot to a sex worker?), definitely thievery, and said he saw his father murder a man in the mine once and cover it up. Boris’ mind is full of a lifetime of this morally shadowed behavior being presented as normal, or at least secret but common.

I think he understands his attraction to boys in this same way. I think he feels it isn’t “appropriate” to share with Outsiders but it is something that Happens, something that is no one’s business but his own, and something that brings him pleasure and happiness and therefore something he will look for. However he knows it isn’t common or visible or “appropriate” to be showy about it in front of others — especially not people who could judge him (kids at school), kick him out (society), or hurt him (his father). Boris treats his attraction to Theo like his other vices and “bad” habits - barrels head first — but secret: deep dive into happy drug use (but don’t show his dad), steals everything he ever needs (but don’t let them see, put it in my coat), lies when it suits him (lies to Xandra and Larry and his father and Theo too), happily sleeps with Theo and has sex with him (but this is between you-and-me).

He knows other people might have a problem with his actions — but he does not. So that’s his hangup there. He is aware of and ever-vigilant of his surroundings. School: a safe place isolated from his father. He is free and happy to do what he wants at school — including crush on and go after Theo who he clearly likes. He thinks Theo is cute, flirts with him, tries to get him to notice him, talks to him after class, sits next to him on the bus, begs him to come over his house, tries to impress him with far-flung stories, gives him alcohol because it’s what he’s seen his father’s men do in pursuit of romantic partners or as a bonding ritual with one another.

Theo’s house is also a safe place. So safe in fact that Boris starts to leave behind some of the maladjusted development of his childhood and become more of a happy, clear-minded person. Boris and Theo suffer from arrested development and one of themes of the book is childhood lost. They are forced to mimic adults either knowingly or unknowingly, and act in ways that children should not have to in order to survive this Adult World alone. With one another they begin to heal from their traumas, their affection for one another the catalyst. Theo cooks for him, talks to a babbling eager-to-talk Boris (imagine how few people have listened to or understood the ideas of a smart boy like Boris, often surrounded by oafish alcoholics, his violent father where he is expected to keep quiet, or cultures where he does not speak the language), Theo sleeps next to him willingly, he likes Boris, a boy from New York (the top of the world!) he think Boris is funny and smart and worldly, shares his dog with him, hangs on his words, becomes his companion, cares for him if he drinks too much, tried to tend his wounds, welcomes him gratefully into his broken family, watches his favorite movies with him, celebrates holidays with him, inherently values him — and so starts to mend Boris’ broken heart.

A lot of things and viewpoints Boris has are clearly repetitions of things he has heard his father or the miners say — “Christmas is for children” (of course they’d say that to a tiny Boris longing for the magic of Christmas as a child stuck in a mining camp watching the peripheral joy of children around him and coming back to bleak hunger and a dark home), or “god yes I loved having sex with her” (about his hooker in the parking lot — Boris then says he knew she didn’t enjoy it and never shows enjoyment but rather avoidance towards women and girls in any genuine way afterwards, yet covets Theo’s physical company).

Theo on the other hand, who for a short while and then so painfully ripped from him, grew up with love. His natural disposition in Vegas comes from a place of being so recently loved and cherished by his mother and he here, in this lonely place, turns the focus of this disposition onto the one person who is kind and protective towards him: Boris — his one light in a life that has turned very dark. This is like an alien world to Boris. Lonesome and neglected Boris is touched and startled and soon changed by this kindness. So much so that Theo, unknowingly, alters the rest of Boris’ life (Boris feels Theo saved his life).

So that is why I believe the Kotku Gay Panic came about. After their climactic Vegas pool scene where their abuse and trauma is opened to one another (their wounds from their fathers, from fire, literally pouring into the purifying chlorine of the watery womb - mother - pool as they try to drown one another, angry at their attraction to one another, but then cling to and save one another instead) Boris begins to not just have fun and have sex and have freedom with Theo (all okay things by Boris’ standards as long as it is secret) — after that scene and they sleep together and Boris satisfies that teenaged human sexual need... they continue to hookup and be at bliss for a very long, happy time where they both begin to psychologically heal— Boris doesn’t just have sex and fun with Theo, he realizes he starts to love Theo.

Love - an extremely foreign concept to Boris who literally freaks the fuck out because he has no baseline for it. It isn’t the type of “love” that his father gives him (violent, untrustworthy), it isn’t the type of “love” the men who grew up around valued (cheap parking lot sex), it isn’t the kind of “love” his idol Larry has with Xandra (Larry lies to Xandra all the time), it isn’t the kind of “love” Boris has seen in his favorite movies (men and women over and over). No, this love with Theo is very very scary to him. Very perhaps dangerous. He doesn’t know.

I think Boris accepts his physical attraction to men as nbd. I think he probably feels most people feel such attractions or some other harmless private desires that certain people may see as an aberrant from “normal” for whatever reason (either typical kinks and silly hush hush sex shop porno stuff - or other far more despicable things he’s witnessed his father’s men do) and so thinks nothing of his own innocent, consensual goodtime-centered desires. Boris, who likely grew up with little exposure to healthy LGBTQ representation and has a very isolated POV in some ways, likely to some degree at the Vegas point in his life (however casually self-accepting he is) equates same-sex attraction with hush hush taboo sex activities — nothing to be ashamed of, but you’re not going to tell your dad.

As long as it is a personal thing, for him only, Boris embraces it. But it is the emotionality, the healing, the care, the love that freaks Boris out and makes him make a run for it to Kotku — only to recede to what he knows and repeat the exact kind of fake “love” he was taught by his father: unbelievable exclamations of devotion (Boris’ dad sobbing and telling him he loves him + “I love her I love her! She’s beautiful and perfect!”) coupled with the black truth (Boris’ dad beating the shit out of him + Boris beating Kotku).

Boris knows he likes boys but when he starts to love one — that’s when he runs away. Because that means something totally different: societally and personally.

#ask #anon #the goldfinch #boreo

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