#bc what is Will supposed to do?? interrupt el and say ‘let me talk to Mike?’ | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

spencstan · 3 years

Text

Six of Crows re-read

(i also did this for the shadow and bone trilogy so read that if you want to)

spoiler alert obiously

i'm SO EXCITED FOR THIS this is my comfort book (with crooked kingdom of course)

JOOST HI

oo fun fact this was my first grishaverse book and i read it with no context whatsoever except that the mc is an emo boy and morally grey

so IMAGINE my pure confusion when JOOST appeared

i was like ?????? weird take on morally grey character but ok

joost trying to figure out how to flirt with a girl is a mood

anyone wanna teach us how to???

i kinda wanna skip this part so i can see the crows..

but i won't don't worry

(won't I?

"I think Yuri may be quarantined"

aaaand?

so are we you are not special

i feel like it's very important for me to mention that i read this book in spanish first

and then i got into the fandom and i was like who the fuck is the wraith? i only know El Espectro

Heartender who??? ooo you mean Cardio

Tidemakers? nope, i only know Maremotores

for real i was so confused i had to re-read it in english (not that i mind tho)

say whatever you want about the spanish version but we have to agree that this design is pretty af

another one yay: "Retvenko was a Squaller" vs. "Retvenk era un Impulsor"

(should i also say that in my pfd english version the book is 294 pages long and in my pdf spanish version its 532????) (i think it's because in the english one the speces are way less like the lines are so close together wtf

i've decided that i'm bored so i'll be skiping this chapter

anya is super badass tho

skdgfalsdgfliaysvfascvhjl yesssssss inej

Kaz Brekker didn't need a reason.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

KAZ

INEJ

I MISSED THEM

omg now i can picture amita and freddy SDJGKASKGLASG THIS IS AMAZING

we interrupt our regularly scheduled program to watch the shadow and bone trailer once again to hear freddy's beautiful voice

ok moving on!

now hear me out i'm giving you all permission to make fun of kaz for this one: Dirtyhands = Manos Sucias

hello i am Kaz Manos Sucias. nice to meet you!

AAAAA

AAAAAAAAAA

JESPER FAHEY

JESPER LOVE HI

SJDGHFKAHSGDLAJSDFSJ,AHFLHDSGF

I MISSED HIM OMG

OMG NOW I CAN PICTURE HIM AS KIT

can you tell jesper is one of my favourite characters?

i really love the fact that kaz is pissed about the murder of that ambassador ONLY because he can´t figure out how it happen

he´s such a nerd

i can't believe one of the firts things we hear jesper say is threathen to kill someone by writing "forgive me" with bullets

AND HE CALLS HIS GUNS "BABIES" OMG

picture saying hi baby and wylan thinkin he's talking to him but actually jesper's talking to one of his guns

Jesper rolled his eyes. "It's about sending a message. What's the point of a dead guy with forg written on his chest?."

"Compromise," Kaz said. "I'm sorry does the trick and uses fewer bullets."

ooo thank god we have kaz to come up with creative solutions /j /s

honestly i love how they talk about kaz's cane like it's the scariest weapon ever (which it kind of is)

nothing will ever disappoint me more than finding out that in english their gang name is "the Dregs". like i don't even know for sure what that means

in spanish is "Los Indeseables" (the undesirables?) which sounds a lot more badass

no hate tho i like the dregs

but i was confused af bc i expected it to be sometihng like "the undesirables" or"the unwanted" or whatever

and it said "the dregs"

which in the translator means something like shit or something

anways moving on:

If he'd (kaz) ever been a little boy

i love how lowkey all the crows think he was just born exactly like he is now

imagine a baby kaz all dressed in black and threatening people

cute

"No mourners," Jesper said as he tossed his rifle to Rotty

"No funerals," the rest of the Dregs murmured in reply. Among them, it passed for "good luck".

YES

YESSS

i wonder what wylan's doing right now :))

i can't wait for the next book where he has a pov

the first time i read this book i literally looked at the title of every chapter to see if he ever got one (i was disappointed to say the least :((((

Besides, she was the Wraith - the only law that applied to her was gravity, and some days she defied that, too.

ma'am

marry me please

i'm gonna cry so hard once the show is out and we get to see inej omg

me simp

That Kaz had chosen Jesper to be one of his seconds was no surprise. Twitchy as Jepser was, with or without his revolvers, he was at his best in a fight, and she knew he'd do anything for Kaz.

idk why but i just love it every time kaz implies or shows that he cares or trusts jesper

it makes me soft

But every one of Inej's senses told her that was not how this was going to play out. Her father would have said the shadows were about their business tonight. Something bad was going to happen here.

underrated saying from Inej's father right there

"I'm a business man," he told her."No more, no less"

"You're a thief, Kaz."

"Isn't that what I just said?"

i see no lies here

not to be annoying but i hc jesper as adhd (i mean is pretty much as canon as wylan's dyslexia) so i'm gonna write here every time i see evidence :)

jesper with adhd part 1: impulsivity

Jesper snorted. "Stomach, spine. What's next, spleen?"

"Shut it" Oomen snarled. The rules of parley dictated that only the lieutenants could speak once negotiations had begun. Jesper mouthed "sorry" and elaboratedly pantomimed locking his lips shut.

he know he couldn't speak but couldn't stop himself from making a comment (i relate way too much to that lmao)

hoestly poor jesper he had to watch hid friend get shot and kaz do nothing about it

i would've been mad too

"I like it when men beg," she said. "But this isn't the time for it"

KAHGFAHLGSFGASFLGSAFS

this is one of the best quotes in the book by far

YASSS KAZ POV

Kaz could have tol Jesper that he knew he wasn't dirty, reminded him that he'd trusted him eough to make him his only real second in a fight that could have gone badly wrong tonight.

cute

but kaz is petty af

he didn't even have a reason not to tell jesper that!

i love that kaz knows inej is following him but doesn't say anything because he wants to wait until she's ready

i LOVE the scene where kaz in in the van eck mantion /srs

idk why but it's so good

And, of course, there was the mystery of Van Eck's son.

wonder what that could be!!! /s

He grinned at her (...)

"Hmm." she said noncommittally, pretending to examine one of her knives, determined to ignore that grin.

KANEJ YESS

HE'S BASICALLY SHOWERING IN FRONT OF HER OMG

this is so funny poor inej is getting flustered

"And I'll need Wylan waiting at the Crow Club tomorrow night."

YES WYLAN OMG

One minute he made her blush and the next he made her want to commit murder

happens to the best of us :/

"Please, my darling Inej. treasure of my heart won't you do me the honor of acquiring me a new hat?"

if kaz doesn't say this on the show we riot

agreed?

it's so amazing how nina found a way to use her powers to get money instead of having to like steal and murder like the rest in the gang

NINA'S POV YESSS HIII

nina and inej omg

their friendship is just perfect

POOR MATTHIAS HE HAS TO FIGHT THE WOLVES

i would straight up cry

Matthias was dreaming again. Dreaming of her

i'm gonna cry damn it

this is the enemies-to-lovers we all needed

jesper has adhd part 2:

"Jesper was supposed to wait until three bells." said the pale boy

"It is three bells, Kaz." replied a small girl (...)

"Since when is Jesper punctual?" the boy complained with a glance at his watch

the time blindness come one

(btw i love the fact that kaz plans around jesper's time blindness instead of like threatening him to be on time)

i really love how every one feels the need to take the time to say/think that the masks are ugly

its so unnecessary lmao

yessss inej is a badass that kills monster we stan

and matthias is lowkey impressed lmao

as he should

"Thank you, Jesper," said Nina

"You're very welcome, gorgeous. See, Kaz? That's how the civilised folk do"

THESE TWO OMG

JESPER IS THE LOML

INEJ OMG LOOK:

She stepped aside as if she's known he was coming, languidly hooking her heel behind his ankle. Matthias let out a loud grunt as he landed on the stones

(...) "Clumsy, this one," the bronze girl said impassively.

that's what happen when you underestimate her bitch

AAAAAAA

PEOPLE

TIME TO FREAK OUT

WYLAN IS HERE

AND HE'S DOODLING STOP IT'S SO CUTE

ok jesper has adhd part 3 i think:

"Just how crazy is he?" asked Jesper, fingers drumming on the pearl handles of his revolvers.

ok first of all: stimming

second of all: hyperactivity

i rest my case

ok 2 or 3 things here

"I believe you know Nina," Brekker continued. "The lovely girl freeing you is Inej. (...) and this is Wylan, the best demolitions expert in the Barrel"

"Raske is better," Inej said

The boy looked up, ruddy gold hair flopping in his eyes, and spoke for the first time. "He's not better. He's reckless"

"He knows his trade"

"So do I"

ok 1: kaz calling inej lovely omg kanej

2: YES WYLAN STANDING UP FOR HIMSELF

2.5: kaz calling him the best cute af

3: honestly why do people think wylan is like an innocent soft boy or whatever. he's in a room full of murderers and thieves and the first thing he does is correct them and stand up for himself

like i wish i could do that

i would be crying like a bitch

AAAAAAAA

"Meet Wylan Van Eck"

KHDSGFALSGFIASGFAL

HI WYLAN BABY

YESSS JESPER'S POV NOW

I'M SO HAPPY also look at this it's the first thing in his pov

Jesper stared at Wylan

do i sense some wesper?????

ok everyone is being so mean to him right now

they are aclling him useless and an idiot and other shit

poor boy honestly he had to deal with this + taking part of a heist he is definetly not ready for + he has to hide the fact that he can't write or read

it so distrubing that kaz is literally the nicest one to wylan right now

"See that? Hidden depths." (...)"He's good enough at demo, and he's got a fine hand for sketching, thanks to all those pricey tutors."

(...)

"There you have it," Kaz said to Jesper. "Marketable skills. Wylan is watching you, Helvar"

GET READY

ARE Y'ALL READY?

OK THEN:

"Scheming face," Jesper whispered to Inej.

She nodded. "Definetly."

THEIR FRIENDSHIP OMG

AND THIS QUOTE

I NEED IT ON THE SHOW THEY BETTER GIVE IT TO US

"Who's Mark" damn wylan (but pretty good comeback to jesper tho)

"What's the easiest way to steal a man's wallet?

"Knife to the throat?" asked Inej.

"Gun to the back?" said Jesper.

"Poison in his cup?" suggested Nina.

"You're all horrible," said Matthias.

tag yourself i'm jesper

KJSFGAL kaz just told wylan to tell him everything he know about his dad's company

and he said he doesn't know and kaz was like "and you never looked trough his documents????

AND THEN HE GOT SAD AND SAID HE HADN'T (and kaz believed him this is sad)

AND NOW JESPER CALLED HIIM USELESS

ok you know i love you jes but if you keep this up

idk i can't do anything you're a sharpshooter

but stiiiiiil

LMAO MATTHIAS ACTUALLY THOUGHT HE COULD BEAT KAZ

nice try

demjin

*insert spongebob voice* demjin

WE'RE GONNA TAKE A MOMENT NOW TO APPRECIATE INEJ GAHFA

BECAUSE KAZ DOESN'T

The heart is an arrow. It demands aim to land true.

*ugly crying*

Many boys will bring you flowers. But some day you'll meet a boy who will learn your favourite flower, your favourite song, your favourite sweet. And even if he is too poor to give you any of them, it won't matter because he will have taken the time to know you as no one else does. Only that boy earns your heart.

*uglier crying*

TANTE HELLEN IF YOU DON'T GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE

SOMEONE PLEASE STAB HER FOR ME

jesper has adhd part ?? (i have dyscalculia you can't expect me to remember the number):

That sound - the swift, shocking report of gunfire - called the scattered, irascible, permanently seeking part of his mind into focus like nothing else.

do i really need to explain this?

ok just in case.. an adhd brain doesn't actually have a deficit of attention(the name just sucks) it's problem with controling that attention. the brain is always looking for new sources of dopamine which is why it shifts its focus so much

i love that jes thinks of matthias as "tha giant"

like sir

have you seen yourself?

you're tall af

HE GOT SHOT

WHY DID I FORGET JESPER GETS SHOT IN THE LEG HERE

"Close your eyes!"

"You can't kiss me from down there, Wylan"

"Just do it!"

i love the energy BUT NOW IT'S NOT THE TIME JES

YESS WYLAN SHOW THEM THEY WERE WRONG CALLING YOU USELESS

inej just stabed some guy int the d

good for her!

KAZ YESSSS HI

AWWW SHE'S WORRIED HE DOESN'T HAVE HIS CANE

KANEJ FOR LIFE

oh no wylan got shot too???? (just barely but stilllll por baby)

my Wraith omggg

ok 3 things about this:

Without another word, he tipped Oomen into the sea.

"No!" Wylan shouted, leaning over the railing, his face pale, stunned eyes tracking Oomen in the waves. (...)

Jesper set his hand on Wylan's shoulder. "Let it go."

"It's not right-"

"Wylan," Jesper said, giving him a little shake."Maybe your tutors didn't cover this lesson, but you do not argue with a man covered in blook and a knife up his sleeve"

1. wesper yasssss

2. wylan just argued with a mant hat had just tacken the eye out of someone. he literally called him out for being an asshole. like damn wylan is brave af i love him

3. do you think seeing kaz trow the guy out of the boat reminded wylan of when the same thing happened to him???? this makes me sad

he's brave and a good person and i just-

"Man with a knife, remember?" he said over his shoulder.

"Man with a gun!" Jesper called after him

this had no right being so funny

AND THEN KAZ GAVE HIM THE MIDDLE FINGER STOP I CAN'T

nina is the biggest kanej shiper no one can tell me i'm wrong

unrelated but if jesper had gone to the Little Palace and had studied there with nina they 100% would've had a crush on Zoya and bonded over it

like you can't tell me those two bisexual disaster wouldn't be absolutely in love with Zoya

jesper has adhd part ??:

Jesper scrubbed the back of his neck, touched his hands to his gunds, returned to his neck. He always seemed to be in motions

hyperactivity right there

and restlessness

"Do you know the best way to find Grisha who don't want to be found?" (...)

"Seems to be if they don't want to be found, you should just let them be" (jesper says this)

this conversation must be so stressful to him omg

LMAO JESPER CUT MATTHIAS HAIR THIS IS SO FUNNY

AND HE SHAVED HIM

ok you all know i love all of them but they can be sooo stupid

like wylan wrote no names on the drawing and he's excuse is that he doesn't know fjerdan?

AND THAT'S NOT EVEN TRUE he literally said he learned school fjerdan which means he should know how to write it too (we know why he can't but the tohers don't)

and even then like the excuse doesn't make any sense. why would having the original name be usefull if no one can fucking read it????

the worst part tho? NO ONE QUESTIONED HIM

THEY WERE LIKE "yup makes sense" AND WENT ON WITH THEIR DAY

i wondered how they didn't figure wylan's secret sooner but now i now

it's because theya re idiots

"I'm just doing my job. Stop glaring at me"

wylan baby let's not make the gigant mad

Jesper knocked his head against the hull and cast his eyes heavenward. "Fine. But if Pekka Rollins kills us all, I'm going to get Wylan's ghost to teach my ghost how to play the flute just so that I can annoy the hell out of your ghost."

Brekker's lips quirked. "I'll just hire Matthias ghost to kick your ghost's ass."

"My ghost won't associate with your ghost," Matthias said primply, and then wondered if the sea air was rotting his brain.

i had to put this here i don't want to get murdered by the fandom

jesper, inej and nina have the BEST friendship

I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE JES AND INEJ TOGETHER ON NETFLIX

"I know some people don't understand, but Kaz told me ... he said it was my choice, that he wouldn't be the one to mark me again."

i love this because it happen when they had just met

he did it because he understands her trauma and he respects her not because he loves her (i doubt he did at the time)

Kaz had been impressed with the sketches. (...)

"Just learn to take a compliment. Kaz doesn't hand them out often."

I'M SO PROUD OF WYLAN

and yess kaz only compliments wylan (and inej but that's sarcastic so it doesn't count) because he's a proud dad

"And you don't belong here, either."

"I beg your pardon, merchiling?"

"We don't need a sharpshooter for Kaz's plan, so what's your job - other than stalking around making everyone angsty?"

He shrugged. "Kaz trusts me."

Wylan snorted and picked up his pen. "Sure about that?"

DAMN WYLAN DESTROYED HIM

also

"If you aren't born with every advantage, you learn to take your chances."

"I wasn't-" Wylan left off and set down his pen. (...)

aww cute neurodivergent boyfriends bonding

Wylan had turned back to his work, his disappointment obvious. For some reason, Jesper felt disappointed, too.

ajgflasjgfjagslfiuusgflgdfsgdflasdgfsd

wesper

aww jes checks on inej every morning and every night i love him

"Thank you for keeping me in this world when fate seemed determined to drag me to the next. I owe you a life debt."

Nina blushed deeply. "I was teasing, Inej"

LJFGALKGFALGA another cute friendship right there

(and i can see why people ship them romantically)

STOP INEJ AND JES ARE BONDING SO MUCH (page 127 so i can go back and read it lmao)

Van Eck writes to Wylan every week, and Wylan doesn't even open the letters

"They just said the same thing again and again: If you're reading this, the you know how much I wish to have you home. Or I pray that you read these words and think of all you've left behind."

should i kill him? anyone want to join me?

Inej bumped her shoulder against his."Then at least we're both the same kind of stupid." (...)

"You're too good for him, you know?"

"I know. So are you"

jes and her bonding over their stupid crush on a white boy

Because I've been looking for an excuse to talk to you for two days.

jfsfdajdhmgkfutdjrgsg ok i can't blame them for having a crush on him anymore

this chapter is full of kanej i love it

"What do you want, then"

You, Inej. You forever.

jksdgfoagsdfgsdgfklasgdflaghsldfgksdgfkahgsdfghjlkf

kaz's backstory makes me sad

"When we get our money, you can burn kruge to keep you warm," said Kaz. (...)

"I´m gonna pay someone to burn my kruge for me."

Kaz fell into step beside him. "Why don't you pay someone else to pay someone to burn your kruge for you? That's what big players do."

"You know what the really big bosses do? They pay someone to pay someone ...". Their voices trailed off as they tomped ahead, and Matthias and the others followed.

JES AND KAZ HAVE THE BEST CONVERSATIONS

i can't believe we get to see nina and matthias meet and their whole backstory in less than a month omg

"It's not natural for women to fight."

"It's not natural for someone to be as stupid as he is tall, and yet there you stand."

QUEEN

YOU TELL HIM

oh no the dead grisha

this part breaks my heart every time

"Do you have a different name for killing when you wear a uniform to do it?"

.....i'm just gonna leave this quote right here

anyways acab

stop nina tried to kill the survivor so they wouldn't suffer but she couldn't do it

and jesper did it for her without hesitation i wanna cry

and inej didn't want to do it either i want to hug them

"Because our crime is existing. Our crime is what we are"

..........

i'm gonna leave this here again

do with it what you will

"Don't mock what you don't understand."

"My mockery offends you? My people would welcome you laughter in place of this barbarity"

i- this conversation is so important

AAAAA JES AND WY ARE A GREAT TEAM I LOVE THEM

WYLAN TROWS BOMBS TOGIVE JESPER TIME TO GET READY TO SHOOT

INEJ AND KAZ ARE A GREAT TEAM TOO

THEY LITERALLY DID THE SCENE LIKE IN THE AVENGERS (but without the shield WHICH MAKES IT BETTER)

Jesper shouldered his rifle. "Wylan earned his keep."

Wylan gave a little jump at the sound of his name. "I did?"

YES BABY YOU DID GREAT

kaz getting self-conscious for his hair is pure comedy

but nina how can you say that have you see his hair on the show???? it's perfect

"Remeber our friend Mark?"

HELP I CAN'T

"Any other impossible feats you'd like us to accomplish?"

The bearest smile flikered over Kaz's lips. "I'll make you a list."

once again jesper and kaz being besties

unrelated but nikolai and jesper would love each other

the amount of sass they have between them it's unparalleled

"Mmm," Inej murmured, taking a sip from her mug. "Maybe you're just not enough."

DAMN

ma'am marry me please

kaz fainted damn poor boy

unrelated unce again but this is so much betetr than shadow and bone

like you can tell leigh improved so much

her characters are better and their arcs are better developed

the writing itself it's better

or maybe i'm just biased because i love soc so much but i think she definetly improved

INEJ IS TRYING TO GIVE HIM SPACE EVEN WHEN SHE'S TRAPPED AND LOCKED ON THE WAGON

I JUST - THEY KNOW EACH OTHER SO MUCH

Though he'd trusted her with his life countless times, it felt much more frightening to trust her with his shame.

Inej had once offered to teach him how to fall. "The trick is not getting knocked down," he'd told her with a laugh. "No, Kaz," she's said, "the trick is in getting back up"

inej is smart af

Kaz was usually unshakeable during a job, but now he was on edge, and Jesper didn't know why. Part of him wanted to ask, though he knew that was the stupid part, the hopeful farmboy who picked the worst possible person to care about, who searched for signs in things that he knew deep down meant nothing - when kaz chose him for a job, when Kaz played along with one of his jokes. He could have kicked himself. He's finally seen the infamous Kaz Brekker without a stich of clothing, and he'd been too worried about ending up on a pike to pay proper attention.

ok i got a couple of things to say about this part

first of all it makes me so sad that jes cares so much for someone who dosn't deserve him. because no hate to kaz but they would never work as a couple and kaz already treats him like shit most of the time

i think this part shows who a lot about who jesper really is. a boy that grew up having to hide parts of himself, who thinks he's worth nothing but it's smart and capable, who's loyal and brave and caring but doesn't even know it himself. he's someone who feels he doesn't deserve good things and thinks he's not good enough, and that's why he unds up in all the wrong places with the wrong people. he left uni bc he fell in with the gangs, because he didn't think he was smart enough or even prepared to be in studying in the university. jesper is constantly hiding behind a mask or running from things because he's scared of not being enough

an kaz is everything jes in a way wishes he could be. kaz is secure in himself (at least on the outside), he's stable, he's smart, he's "unshakeable". and most of all, he doesn't care about others (we know that's not true but that's how he presents himself)

and that's the thing that causes jesper all his problems. because he's insecure because he thinks he's not good enough for the poeple or things he cares about. and he's always trying to do what's best for his loved ones: he went to the ice court to pay his debt for his father, he follows kaz everywhere beacause he cares about him, he offered to read to wylan (knowing it wouldn't be easy for him to be still that long).

and yeah it often doesn't work out becuase he's messy and he has problems but he tries. and he hates that. he hates that he cares so much about people because at the end of the day, that's what makes him feel like he's not good enough

one more thing and i'm done i promise

unpopular opinion but i love that leigh made jesper have a crush on kaz. 1 beacuse it's refreshing to see someone not get otgether with his first crush. and 2 because i love that it shows that we sometimes get attached to people that are not good for us, but that we can learn to move on. jesper ended with wylan who respects him and values him, unlike kaz

ok i'm sorry that was probably all bs

oo one more thing, jesper definetly has rsd (rejection sensitive disphoria), which is something most poeple with adhd have

"My father used to take me everywhere with him"

this is so sad. bc they probably had a good relationship when he was little. and then they figured he coudln't read and now his father treats him like shit

it's even worse than if he haf been horrible from the beginning because wylan knows he can be a good father. and so he thinks it's his fault and he deserves to be treated like that. i hate van eck

"You're cuter when you're smart"

(...)

"Definitely cuter when you're smart"

wesper yesssss

i love them so much

ok but why do people think jesper is stupid. like the boy just made a bunch of criminals pass out by mixing some chemicals

and he was going to the university at like 15

AAAAND NOW THEY KNOW HE'S A FABRIKATOR

amazing plot twist

also:

Wylan coughed. Flirting with him might actually be more fun that annoying him, but it was a close call.

oooo come on jesper we all know you just love getitng him to blush

and you love him

who said that? definitely not me, nope

awwww jesper misses being around animals that's cute

imagine him coming home to wylan one day with a puppy because he just couldn't resist

cute

Better terrible truths than kind lies

just leaving here more of inej's wisdom

ok this may be a reach but jesper has adhd part ???

Yellow Protocol? Red Protocol? He couldn't remember which was which. (...)

"The alarm was Yellow Protocol, a sector disturbance."

Jesper pushed at his temples. "I don't remember what that means"

a bad working memory? sounds familiar

kaz loves puzzles

it's canon

"I love puzzles. Trickery is just my native tongue."

this part where wylan and jesper see the banner made with grisha's kefta kills me every time

I would have worn purple, Jesper thought, if I'd joined the Second Army. (...) He'd beenwilling, even eager to risk capture and execution as a thief and hired gun. Why was it worse to think about being hunted as a Grisha?

this makes me want to cry so much

another thing super sad: the fact that since his father is Kaelish and had some supersititons towards grisha, jesper grew up wondering if his own father was scared of him. he had to hide his powers and he was almost taught to be afraid of them

"Is it safe to leave them, you know-"

"Alive? I'm not big on killing unconscious men."

"We could wake them up"

WYLAN

damn the boy needs therapy

it's amazing how nothing went like they planned

not a single thing

PEOPLE GET READY

ARE YOU READY?

NEITHER AM I BUT WHO CARES

"What do you like?"

"Music. Numbers. Equations. They are not like words. They...they don't get mixed up."

ok dude the clues are right there he's basically saying it

"If only you could talk to girls in equations."

There was a long silence, and then, eyes trained on the notch they'd created in the link, Wylan said, "Just girls?"

Jesper restrained a grin. "No. Not just girls." It really was a shame they were all probably going to die tonight.

wylan really said a straight man?? couldn't be me

this is the definition of bi panic "jesper restrained a grin" bitch we saw that

btw i love the slow burn

like they hint something here but they don't actually start liking each other until much later and they don't get together until almost the end of ck

i also love that the fact that they both like guys is like out in the open now. bc i'm not a fan of when queer characters have a crush and there's the whole thing of "are they queer too or not?"

like they both know htey are queer. but they don't get together right away bc they have to start liking each other before. they don't get together bc they are the only queer mlm characters

matthias fake betrayal killed me

i tought it was real

I have been made to protect you. Only in death will I be kept fom this oath.

this is just-

also foreshadowing?

YAYY KUWEI HI

There was no part of him that was not broken, that had not healed wrong, and there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken.

She's laughed, and if he could have bottled the sound and got drunk on it every night, he would have. It terrified him.

if i ever have a s/o and they don't tell me this at least once i don't want it

He needed to tell her... what? That she was lovely and brave and better than anything he deserved. That he was twisted, crooked, wrong, but not so broken that he couldn't pull himslef together into some smeblance of a man for her

THIS

THIS IS LOVE RIGHT THERE

they are the only straight couple that matters

everyone else go home

Wylan had scratches all over his cheeks and neck. He was beaming. Inej grabbed his hands and sqeezed.

so cute omg

"You can explain why our illustrious Shu scientist looks like one of Wylan's school pals along the way"

KAZ

i mean it's true but you didn't have to say it

KAZ IS SMILING OMG

EVERYONE FREAK OUT WITH ME

HE'S "grinning like and idiot" STOP I LOVE HIM

"We are all someone's mosnter, Nina"

"I will have you without armour, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all"

this part breaks my heart and i love it

"Stay," she oanted. Tears leaked from her eyes. "Stay till the end"

"And after," he said. "And always."

i just- helnik is perfect

AWWW JESPER MISSES WYLAN

my daily dosis of wesper :)

ok but in like 2 pages jesper tought of wylan like 10 times bc he's sad wy isn't with him

Jesper scanned the empty deck. He's assumed Wylan would come up to see them off. (...)

Jesper knew he was being selfish and stupid, but some petty part of him wondered if Wylan had deliberately kept away from him on the journey back. Maybe now that the job was complete and he was on his way to his share of the haul, Wylan was done slumming with criminals.

*charles boyle's insinuating voice* and why do you care so much???

btw YOU ARE WRONG. HE'S LITERALLY GOING OUT OF HIS WAY TO BE WITH YOU EVEN THOUGH HE CAN'T SPEAK

this scene where we find out the truth about wylan hurts so much but it's one of my favourites idk why

I LOVE THAT EVERYONE IS AS MAD AS I AM ABOUT THE LETTERS NOW

"Your're a fool," Jesper snarled. "He smarter than most of us put together, and he deserves a better father than you."

YES TELL HIM

the fact that wylan just heard him say that omg

"Deserved" amended Van Eck. He blew the whislte twice.

SOMEONE BETTER GRAB ME BEFORE I KILL HIM MYSLEF

THAT IDIOT

I HATE HIM SO MUCH

I'M GONNA CRY CAN SOMEONE KILL HIM FOR ME

Jesper screamed in rage and raised his guns.

YES EXACLTY WHAT I MEANT

JUST KILL HIM RIGHT NOW

"I'm not big on bludding, am I Inej?"

"Not as a rule"

Van Eck's lip curled. "And why is that?"

"Because he'd rather cheat," said the boy who was not Kuwei Yul-Bo in perfect, unaccented Kerch.

THIS WAS PERFECT

THE BEST WAY TO REVEAL THAT

(...), and Jesper flinched

baby he recognized wylan's voice

The Shu boy held out a hand. "Pay up, Kaz"

BITCH THIS IS AMAZING

THIS BOY MADE A BET WITH A CRIMINAL THAT HIS OWN FATHER WAS GOING TO TRY TO KILL HIM

AND HE WON THE BET

A nearly perfect replica of Kuwei Yul-Bo stood before them, but he had Wylan's voice, his mannerisms, and - though Kaz could see the fear and hurt in his golden eyes - Wylan's surprising courage, too.

i love it when they compliment him

my boy deserves all the compliments ever

AND KAZ IS PROUD OF HIS SON WE ALL KNOW THIS

Wylan cuold draw a perfectt elevation. He's made a drill that could cut throu Grisha glass from parts of a gate and scavenged bits of jewellery. So what if he couldn't read

this is taking me to some real places

i may cry you've been warned

WYLAN DIDN'T CARE THAT HE MAY BE STUCKED LOOKING LIKE KUWEI

this is making me cry

"A fool would have been waiting to be smashed to bits on that ship. And as for "traitor", you've called me worse in the last few minutes alone."

EXACTLY

YOU TELL HIM WYLAN

Instead, in that moment of threat, when he should have thought only of the fight, he looked at Inej.

BABY

i would've done the same tho she's pretty

amita is sooo pretty i'm gonna die when the show comes out

Jesper was staring at Wylan, his eyes roving over the black hair, the golden eyes. "Why?" he said at last. "Why would you do this?"

nothing to say here except: wesper

You... how many times was it you standing beside me on the deck at night when I tought it was Kuwei?"

"Every time."

i want to cry so bad

"Why does it matter?"

"I don't know!" Jesper said angrily. "Maybe I liked your stupid face."

a very staright and platonic thing to say of course

i know jes we all liked his stupid face

"Jesper made a mistake," said Wylan. "A stupid mistake, but he didn't set out to betray anyone."

YES WYLAN DEFEND YOUR BOYFRIEND

And maybe he'd kept him in the dark about Wyllan because he wanted to punish him a little

even kaz know they like each other come on

Jesper sat with elbows on knees, head in hands. Wylan deside him wearing th face of a stranger.

wylan give him a hug fro me please

he needs it

"Scheming face," murmured Jesper.

"Definitely," agreed Wylan.

i miss inej already

And I'm going to get my girl. Inej could never be his, not really, but he would find a way to give her the freedom he´d promised her so long ago.

i'm ugly crying and so what?

and now we're done....

i want to read this book again omg this is unhealthy

#shadow and bone #s&b #six of crows #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #kaz brekker #grishaverse #inej gahfa #matthias helvar #nina zenik #freddy carter #kit young #amita suman #soc #helnik #kanej #wesper

79 notes · View notes

set-phasers-to-whump · 3 years

Text

burned

prompt: burned

whumpee: neal caffrey

fandom: white collar

hi! this fic does kinda mess with the meaning of the prompt...i went with “burned out” as a kind of interpretation bc i wasn’t feeling plain burns...anyway this might kind of suck but maybe it won’t? idk. enjoy??

Neal doesn’t know how long it’s been since he last slept. A few days, he figures, but that’s as precise as his burnt-out brain will allow him to get. He feels dead on his feet, but he’s doing his best to make it seem like he’s fine.

“Morning, Peter!” he calls out to the agent, hurrying into the elevator behind him. “Beautiful weather today, huh?”

Peter looks at him, eyebrows raised. “Since when do you talk about the weather?”

Since I’m pretty sure if I stop talking I might fall asleep right here, Neal thinks. “Can’t I appreciate a little sunshine?”

He hopes it’s sunny out. Truthfully, he’d paid zero attention to the weather on his way to work this morning. It had been enough of a thing just getting his arms and legs to move when and where he wanted them.

“You can,” Peter replies, as the elevator arrives. “Just didn’t seem like a very Neal topic of conversation.”

He shrugs, breaking away from Peter to make a beeline for the coffee machine. As he well knows, the coffee is fairly terrible, but it wakes him up marginally, so that he feels almost alive when he sinks down into a chair along with his fellow members of the White Collar division, listening to Peter give a morning briefing about their case.

Neal doesn’t pay much attention. He knows this case inside and out, has been studying it virtually nonstop for the past...however many days it’s been since he last slept. He can’t stop thinking about it, can’t stop working on it. Something about it begs his full attention, and he knows part of it is just the constant desire to have Peter approve of his work, but there’s something else about it, too, something uniquely compelling, and he can’t bring himself to stop working on it, no matter how hard he tries.

He can, however, not pay attention when there’s a whole room full of people talking about it.

“Neal?”

He’s thinking about the strange lack of suspects, the high-profile witness…

“Neal. Neal. Hello? Neal.”

Finally, he snaps out of his thoughts. “Yeah?”

Peter shakes his head. “Never mind.”

Neal tries his best to pay attention to the rest of the briefing, but it’s nearly impossible. The coffee is already wearing off, his eyelids feel like they’re made of lead, and his sluggish mind is currently only capable of focusing on one thing, which happens to be his own thoughts about the case, and not whatever it is Peter’s saying.

The briefing ends, and Neal moves to stand up, sitting back down into his chair when a wave of lightheadedness hits him, at the exact same moment that Peter says,

“Caffrey. You stay back a minute.”

Neal looks up at Peter, who is now standing over him, looking very menacing.

“What did I talk about in that briefing?”

He rubs a hand down his face, tries to focus his eyes, tries to focus his brain. He has absolutely no idea what Peter had been talking about.

“The case?” he suggests, yawning with a force that makes his ears pop. He wishes his coffee cup wasn’t empty, wishes he had the strength to go refill it.

“Nice try, Neal. What about the case?”

“I don’t know,” he mutters, sensing there’s no way around this.

“Why not?”

He doesn’t want to admit it’s because he’s too tired to think. Doesn’t want Peter to know how much he’s been focusing on this case, which in the grand scheme of cases isn’t even that special. He doesn’t want Peter to know that he’s beyond exhausted, completely burnt out, and seemingly incapable of stopping to rest, for reasons unknown even to himself.

“I was thinking about something else,” he says.

“What were you thinking about?” Peter asks, and sits down in a chair next to him.

He shakes his head. “Nothing in particular. Just not very focused this morning. Sorry.” It’s as close to honest as he thinks he can get.

“Can you look at me?”

What?

“Neal. Look at me.”

He raises his eyes, staring at Peter’s chin.

“In the eyes, Neal.”

Very slowly, he meets Peter’s eyes, which scan his face with an intensity that really makes him want to look away.

“Did you sleep last night?”

Neal looks away then, embarrassed at having been read so easily.

“Neal. Have you slept at all in the past 24 hours?”

He shakes his head, blinks hard to force away the tears that, for some inexplicable reason, are forming in his eyes. He is so unbelievably tired, and he wants to sleep, kind of, and if he says that, Peter will just ask, why don’t you sleep? But he can’t sleep, he’s thinking too much to sleep, needs to solve this case too much to sleep, has to solve this case to prove something that he doesn’t have a name for, to himself, to Peter, to someone…

Peter’s hand is on his shoulder, steady and warm. Neal wants to lean into it, wants so desperately to stop, just for a moment, and rest. But he can’t. He pulls away, stands unsteadily, hand braced against the table when black spots dance in his vision.

He makes for the door, at what he assumes is a normal pace, but by the time he gets there Peter is blocking the way.

“I can’t -” he starts. “Can you move, Peter, please?”

Peter shakes his head. Neal wants to push him out of the way, but senses that’d be a bad idea. “Please just move.”

“Not until you tell me what’s going on with you. Why haven’t you been sleeping?” Peter asks, and his voice is horribly gentle and concerned and it makes the tears rise in Neal’s eyes all over again, and he can’t do this, he can’t -

Peter’s hands are touching his arms, and there’s a silent kind of question there that Neal can’t bring himself to answer no to. He takes a shaky step forward, and then Peter’s arms are around him, and he can’t remember the last time he was hugged like this, and before he can stop himself or think the better of it he’s crying, really crying, face buried in Peter’s shoulder, and Peter is letting him cry, Peter is holding onto him, and then he’s gently sinking them to the floor, which is very welcome to Neal’s exhausted body. Peter’s hand moves in gentle circles on his back, and he’s saying things that Neal can’t quite hear, but his voice sounds kind and comforting, and Neal focuses on it for all he’s worth.

He has no idea how long they stay there, but at some point, he just stops crying. Peter lets him pull away, until Neal’s sitting back on his heels, feeling strangely more awake. “‘M sorry,” he says quietly, voice still thick with tears.

“What are you sorry for?”

He almost doesn’t speak, again. But he’s already cried on Peter’s shoulder, and it doesn’t get much more embarrassing than that.

“I...haven’t slept in god knows how long. A few days? At least? And I don’t...don’t know why, it’s this case, but it’s not even that special, but something about it...I don’t know, I just...I just have to solve it, and I can’t stop thinking about it and I can’t sleep until we solve it…” he trails off, lost for anything else to say.

“Neal,” Peter sighs, equal parts exasperated and fond. “We can solve this case.”

Neal shakes his head. “I need us to solve this case. Not just have the possibility to. I don’t know why, I just...need us to solve it.”

“And we will. But how are we supposed to do that if you’re too burned out to even pay attention during my morning briefing? I need all the members of my team at 100%, Neal, and like it or not, we’re only going to be able to solve this if you get some sleep.”

He...hadn’t really considered that. Hadn’t considered that his well-being might affect the other members of the team, might affect the outcome of the case…. He’d thought it was worth exhausting himself, if only to let himself figure this case out faster, but he has to admit, Peter may be onto something.

“I didn’t think about it like that,” he confesses. “I was just so focused on solving this case myself...I didn’t think about anything else.”

“You can’t let yourself do that, Neal,” Peter says, standing up. He extends a hand down to Neal, who takes it gratefully, leaning on Peter for support when they’re both back on their feet. “Not just because it makes our work harder, but because it’s hurting you. Regardless of whether or not having you exhausted makes us a worse team, it means you’re hurting. I don’t want you hurting yourself for a case, no matter how important it might be for you.”

Neal feels himself hovering on the edge of tears again, a combination of his reaction to Peter’s words and an effect of the sheer exhaustion weighing down on him. Before he lets himself get all weepy again, though, he takes a deep breath, and focuses as best as he can.

“Thank you, Peter,” he says, hoping that his sincerity comes through the tiredness in his voice.

“You can thank me by letting me drive you home,” Peter says firmly, checking his watch. “El’s at work, but she’ll be back around four-thirty. I’ll be back after five. And in the meantime, you can lie down on our couch and sleep.”

Neal is slightly baffled by this, but too tired to question Peter as the agent leads him out of the room. The Burkes’ couch sounds nice, if a little odd - why not his own couch, at his own house? But the Burkes’ couch is easy to fall asleep on, anyhow, and in a place that makes him think of family and safety and warmth...if Peter wants to take him there, he’s not going to object.

Peter drives them to his and El’s house in a comfortable silence. Neal leans his head against the window, breath fogging up the glass, mind for once not on the case. There will be time to solve it later, he thinks, and wishes he had realized that sooner. He’d just been too caught up in it, too focused, to let himself rest. But now that that rest is being forced upon him, he’s realizing how badly he really wants it.

A few minutes later, he’s lying on the Burkes’ couch, a warm blanket thrown over him and Satchmo asleep on the floor next to him.

“El will be home -”

“Around four-thirty,” Neal interrupts Peter, words slurring as sleep begins to take him over. “And you’ll be home after five.”

His eyes are closed, but he imagines Peter waving goodbye from near the front door. “Sleep well, Neal,” Peter says, and the door closes and locks.

For the first time in days, Neal sleeps.

thanks for reading this!!! like i said i have no idea if it sucks ass or not but idk i cannot deny it was like real cathartic or some shit like that to write...whatever lmao. hope you enjoyed anyway!

#febuwhump2021 #febuwhumpday22 #white collar #neal caffrey #exhaustion #exhausted #one of those is my tag...#emotional whump #crying #my writing #i say things

41 notes · View notes

storybookstalker · 4 years

Note

12 and 24 from the Smothering Yandere starters for Bane please I beg of you💕💗💓💘💞

Ofc bb <3!

excuse the writing sksnkdnd it’s been a minute since I’ve let myself write any non-headcanon fiction

Also! I’m using google translate bc I’m a loser and can barely speak my own language, so if anything seems off I’m super sorry kdndkdnd if you see something that’s wrong feel free to correct me <3!

Warning! Yandere stuff and general violence

Your head’s pounding harder than it ever has in your entire life. The bag over your head and the general darkness of the room made the sick feeling somehow worse than it already was. The two (Three? After the first hit colors began to mush together) men who brought you here seemed to be having fun with your situation. They’d knocked you around a bit before harshly throwing you into some kind of van. You assumed you had blacked out for the first part, the first thing you remembered after getting throw around was being moved to another van. The spinning sick feeling kept you from smaller details. It had to have been at least a few hours in a few different cars. This final place was warm and the air was almost too dense to breath. It was the most uncomfortable you’d never been. Whoever had dropped you into this shitty chair did not care about getting you comfortable. You were clearly supposed to stay in one spot. When some pain dulled down you’d try to wiggle into a more comfortable situation. Leaning forward meant rope pulling on your arms but resting your head back meant straining your already aching neck. There were a few men in the room with you. You couldn’t understand what they were saying, but it was hard to decide if that was because of the pain or if they were speaking another language.

The group was busy snickering as one kicked your leg. A door suddenly opened to your left, pain blurst in your eyes as lights were turned on. The man abusing your poor leg immediately stopped as heavy footsteps entered the room. Your face twisted as the pounding inside your skull increased triple time. Despite the white burn that settled behind your eyes, you did your best to pay attention to what was happening around you. The men who’d seemed so immature before were all business now because of whoever had just walked in. You wondered if they were greeting this new person, but the lack of response confused your jumbled brain. The heavy presence was constrictive, the already solid air clogging up your throat. You barely registered how large the hand on your neck was, the dull jolt from the pressure forced a weak cry out. The hand immediately pulled away, only to take off the suffocating bag. The air lightened, and the bag’s removal made you realize that your hair was matted to your forehead. This new man circled you, breathing heavily like some kind of angry bull. Somehow hearing him made it harder to breath than it was in the bag. One of the men began to say something but the (much larger you’ve decided from his voice) man in front of you interrupted,

“Qué demonios estoy viendo?” He sounded more like an angry bear than a human man. Thinking about how badly this man could fuck you up if he was as big as he seemed made your throat dry up. What did he even want with some rando off the street of Gotham?

One of the guys nudged the man closed to you, mumbling something you didn’t catch. “Ah..” He cleared his throat, he’s probably as scared of this big man as you are. One of the men near the back spoke up when the first one didn’t answer fast enough, “¿No es este el que querías?” There was silence for a moment, and for a moment the room stopped spinning. The man was familiar, you realize. Where had you seen him? It clicked when he started laughing. It wasn’t a fun laugh either, it was more of a laugh that meant you were in trouble. A few of the henchmen chuckled, shuffling away. You couldn’t blame them, you would be as far from this man as possible too if you could move.

Bane. This man was Bane, you’d realized. Whatever hope you might have had dropped, and shattered on the ground beneath you. Bane was not so horrible, not Scarecrow or Joker, but he could easily do whatever he wanted should he want it. You might as well have been shoved under water. Chest tightening fear clawed it’s way into your throat. What the hell did you do to be in this situation?

Bane hummed, nodding thoughtfully at what the other man had said. “Ya ves, es solo eso..” he paused as if trying to figure out how to explain his thoughts to a child, “Estoy seguro de que te dije que no pongas una mano en lo que es claramente mío.”

His men seemed to try to defend themselves, but he interrupted, “and it seems to me, that you’ve laid more than your manos on her you malditos idiotas!” Bane hissed, back-handing one of his men hard enough to slam against the wall. He sneered something you didn’t catch, your head had suddenly felt like it was floating. You could have swore you were actually floating, but then it was all dark.

Pain was the next thing to flood your senses. Light beamed right into your eyes, forcing a groan pass your lips. You rolled over, trying to get up and away from the searing sunlight. A dull ache swarmed your body and quickly coaxed your body back into the softiness under you. A bed, you had been moved to some bedroom? Or perhaps it was just a fancy holding cell. The room was too bright to fully open your eyes, making it hard to tell. It was silent until a warm voice pounded inside your skull, “finally awake?” Was this Bane? It was hard to think with the onslaught of a headache that came with his voice. The bed dipped to your left and you tried to move only for your body to fight against it. A cold cloth was spread against your forehead, smoothing out your pain a small bit. This could not be the Bane, it didn’t make sense. Did he quit being a murderer in favor of being a nurse or something?

He laughed, making you wonder if you had accidentally said something outlo- “You are talking right now, amor tonto!” He interrupted. At least he found it amusing instead of beating you a hair within your life. “I would smack most for saying such a thing, You’re the only person I’d make an exception for. Count yourself lucky,” he continued through a snicker. You would laugh along with him, if only to try to appease the bear of a man, if you weren’t terrified out of your mind. The so-called monster softly patted your arm, telling you to relax. How could you ‘relax’? A man you thought was supposed to be serving a life sentence was sitting next to you and you’ve been kidnapped! Your throat scratched up your question, “what part of any of this is relaxing?”

Bane huffed in reply, “You were not supposed to be harmed in any way on your way to me.” He must have seen your confusion, because he continued on without reply, “I’d do anything for you, whether or not you ask me to. I know how stressful life has been for you” He gently reaches towards you, taking your cheek into his hand. “No more. I will protect you from life itself if I must.”

Ahh I was gonna do more but I thought it might be too long for a prompt, hopefully this was okay!

#Yandere DC #Yandere Bane #yandere prompt #yandere dc comics #yandere villains #yandere dc villains #yandere writing #yandere #yandere blog

218 notes · View notes

robinskey · 5 years

Note

99, 72, 56 please. Your character choice.

Dustin’s Surprise Party

Prompts: “How could you forget your son’s birthday?” (99), “Just smile, I really need to see you smile right now” (72), and “I’m late” (56)

A/N: I did it for Steve (bc OF COURSE I did). Also, we have a Henderson! reader (bc OF COURSE we do. As I have previously stated, I am trash for Steve x Henderson! Reader.) Thanks for the request!!

Warnings: Swearing

Steve’s in the middle of leisurely closing up shop on a weeknight. Bohemian Rhapsody’s playing on the radio, and Steve hums along as he sweeps the floor. When the phone rings, he takes his sweet time sauntering across the store to pick it up.

“Hawkins Family Video. How may I help you?”

“Where are you, dingus?”

If it hadn’t been for the nickname, Steve might not have recognized the voice on the other end of the line. However, his best friend refers to him almost exclusively with that name. Steve sighs before inquiring what she’s talking about.

“Don’t you remember what today is?”

Steve wracks his brain but still comes up short. “Um...Tuesday?”

“Oh my god. Your girlfriend’s here freaking out, trying to get everything ready before the boys get home from AV club, and you can’t even remember what day it is.”

That’s when the lightbulb finally clicks in Steve’s head.

“Shit. Dustin’s surprise party is tonight, isn’t it?”

“Ding, ding, ding! We have a...I would say ‘winner,’ but you’re really more of a ‘wiener.’ How could you forget your son’s birthday?”

“Okay, first of all, don’t call him my son. I’m dating his sister, so that’s weird as hell,” Steve says. “Second of all-“

Robin, being Robin, interrupts. “Mrs. Henderson just left to pick the kids up from school, so they’ll be arriving any minute. Just get here, okay? Preferably before Y/N loses it.”

There’s a screech as Robin slams the phone onto the receiver-a clear sign that Steve needs to get moving ASAP, unless he wants Robin to give him crap about it for the rest of his life.

***

Steve drives almost twice the speed limit the entire way there. However, it’s not fast enough to outpace Mrs. Henderson. Her station wagon is already parked in the driveway by the time Steve pulls up. He hops out of his car and sprints to the front door, trying to avoid missing another minute of the party he’s supposed to be co-hosting.

When he steps onto the front porch, the door automatically swings open. Robin stands there, eyebrows raised so high that they blend into her hairline.

“So you finally decided to show up, huh?” she chuckles. “Come on. Everyone’s in here.”

Steve follows Robin into the kitchen. The entire party is gathered around the table, along with Mrs. Henderson, Nancy, and Jonathan. (I don’t know why I felt the need to include Jancy, but I wanted Robin to be there, and I only felt it was fair for them to be invited, too.) There’s a homemade sheet cake in the center of the table, decorated with fifteen unlit candles and the words “Happy Birthday Dustin” written in your looping cursive. The guest of honor sits at the head of the table, practically salivating at the sight of his cake. But when his eyes fall on Steve, they light up even more.

“Hey, dude! You made it.” Dustin walks up to Steve and performs their handshake, which ends in a bro hug.

“Yeah, I did. Happy birthday, man. Sorry I’m late.”

Dustin laughs. “Normally, that wouldn’t bother me, but Y/N was making us wait to cut the cake until you got here.”

“Really?” Steve’s cheeks heat up. You’re so considerate, always thinking of others. Meanwhile, he can’t even make it to a party he helped plan on time.

“Yeah. I think she wanted you to see how much of a domestic goddess she is or some shit.”

“Dusty!”

“Sorry, Mom,” Dustin says.

Steve scratches the back of his neck. “Hey, um-where is Y/N?”

“Right here.” You appear around the corner, waving the box of matches you’ve spent the last ten minutes searching for. Then, you glare at your little brother. “By the way, I heard what you said about me, Dustin. You’re lucky it’s your birthday. Otherwise, I’d kick your ass.”

“Y/N!”

“Sorry, Mom,” you echo your brother’s words from earlier before nodding to your boyfriend. “Glad to see you finally decided to turn up.”

Steve stands there awkwardly, unsure of how to respond. He watches as you scrape a match against the side of the box, then migrates toward you to help light the candles. When his hand twitches in the direction of the matches, you subtly scoot them out of his reach.

The flush rises back up to his face when he catches El whisper something in Max’s ear, and the two of them giggle. Nonetheless, he still tries to help you serve up the cake. He continuously gets in your way, so you finally allow him to take charge of scooping the ice cream.

It isn’t until fifteen minutes later that you actually get a chance to sample the cake you baked from scratch. Steve’s barely eaten all day, so he’s famished, but he makes sure you get the bigger slice of cake and a generous helping of ice cream. There’s not enough room at the table, so the two of you head into the living room.

The spot you choose reveals how angry you are with him. You’re not pissed enough to sit on a different piece of furniture, even though there are other chairs available. However, judging by the fact that you create as much distance as possible by nestling into the corner of the loveseat, Steve knows you’re still not pleased with him.

“You did a really nice job with the cake. It looks beautiful.” When he’s met with silence, Steve digs his fork into the dessert, shovels it into his mouth, and lets out an exaggerated moan. “Oh, my god. It tastes even better than it looks.”

You still don’t respond-just swirl your spoon through your bowl of ice cream. However, the corners of your lips quirk slightly upward. He nudges your foot with his.

“Look, babe, I’m really sorry about tonight. I just-lost track of time.” You give him a pointed look. “Okay, okay. I also lost track of the day. But I’ll make it up to you, baby. I promise. Let me make it up to you.”

Steve places a kiss on your neck-a bold move, considering all your family and friends are in the next room. It sends a shiver down your spine, but you still shove him away. He’s not getting off the hook that easily.

Besides, it’s your brother’s birthday party. Someone’s probably going to catch you if you just start making out on the couch. The options for that “someone” include your mom, little brother, one of your brother’s friends, Steve’s ex-girlfriend, Steve’s ex-girlfriend’s current boyfriend, and/or Steve’s best friend. (On paper, the last seems like the best option, but Robin would probably actually be the worst, considering she’d never let you live it down.)

So, yeah. Not happening.

“Come on, Y/N. I know I screwed up. But surely, there’s something-“

“Just smile. I really need to see you smile right now.”

The words tumble off your lips as you think of them. You’re not really sure why you make this request, but you do. And Steve doesn’t question it; he just breaks out into the cheesiest grin you’ve ever seen. It melts your heart like the long-forgotten ice cream turning into a puddle on your paper plate. You set it on the coffee table, and Steve follows suit-still flashing his pearly whites.

“Okay, you can stop now. It’s starting to get creepy.”

“Creepy, eh? You’re the one who requested this. And now you’re insulting me for it? That’s a little hypocritical of you, don’t you think?” When you respond with a giggle, Steve adds, “Don’t you laugh at me! Or I’ll give you something to laugh about.”

His hands travel to your waist, and as soon as you realize what he’s doing, you playfully swat at them. “Steve Harrington, don’t you dare.”

“Or what?” he asks, pausing for a moment to tilt his head slightly to the side.

“Or...else.”

Of course, that vague threat is not enough to stop him from tackling you with tickles. You giggle uncontrollably as he pins you to the couch. His fingers graze your sides, leaving fluttering butterflies in their wake. You’re not sure if it’s his close proximity making you dizzy or the fact that you’re taking in an inadequate amount of oxygen. You haven’t gotten an actual breath of air in several minutes; even between fits of laughter, you don’t get a chance to breathe, since Steve’s constantly stealing kisses. You get lost in the taste of sugar on his lips and the musky smell of his cologne

You get so lost, in fact, that you don’t hear the approaching footsteps until it’s already too late.

“Am I interrupting something?”

Steve pulls himself off you so quickly that he almost tumbles off the sofa. You both recoil into your separate corners of the couch and run fingers through your hair, trying (and failing) to smooth it back down.

Robin stands in the doorway, arms crossed over her chest and a smirk on her face. Steve’s face flushes for the third time tonight. This time, however, he doesn’t just turn a little pink; his skin burns fire-truck red. He stumbles over his words.

“It wasn’t-I don’t know how it looked, but we weren’t-“

“Yeah, yeah, sure you weren’t, dingus. You’re lucky it was just me and not, like, Dustin. You would’ve scarred the kid for life,” she says. “Anyway, I was just looking for the restroom, so...”

Unlike Steve, you’re too shell-shocked to be embarrassed. You raise a single finger to point down the hall.

“Thanks. Carry on...with whatever you definitely weren’t doing,” Robin says with a wink.

At this point, Steve’s skin is so hot that it’s just a matter of time before he bursts into flames.

Meanwhile, Robin’s already planning how she’s going to incorporate this story into the future toast for her favorite couple’s wedding.

Taglist: @novaddictx @anabundance0ffand0ms @rexorangecouny @broadwayandnetflix @explode-a-pult @whormotional @readinthegarden12 @lacunaclouds

If you want to be added to the tag list for a specific character/my writing in general, leave a reply or send me a message! Thanks again for reading. <3

If you want to check out more of my writing, here’s my masterlist. :)

317 notes · View notes

nnegan13 · 5 years

Text

lil gift for paige (@air-bison-yip-yip) ily girl

textfic, on ao3 here

set in college!AU, if everyone feels kinda OOC its cuz I personally feel like people are different when they’re texting than when they’re interacting irl so sorry if it feels off lmao it’s still fun if you overlook that part aha

also the formatting is different bc if I did it the same way I usually do texts in fic this would’ve been So Much Harder

anyways enjoy!!!

—

Martino Rametta to entirely dead inside: head count please

Eva Brighi: sadly, awake

Sana Allagui: silvia and fede are still sleeping

Luchino: Marti Elia says that if you don’t stop turning the lights on and off he’s going to fucking kill you

Luchino: and gio and Sofia are missing

Eva Brighi: Sofia?

Sana Allagui: nice

Martino Rametta: nico’s with me

Martino Rametta: eyes on ele?

Eva Brighi: bathroom

Sana Allagui: someone go tell her not to puke too hard cause I had to clean up last time and I don’t wanna do that again

Eva Brighi: she says fuck you

Sana Allagui: delightful

—

Edoardo Incanti to Eleonora Sava: heard you had quite the night

Eleonora Sava: remind me to never do college again

Edoardo Incanti: i thought you liked all the higher education shit

Edoardo Incanti: ya know

Edoardo Incanti: learning things so you can make ur mark on the world

Edoardo Incanti: all that sentimental shit

Eleonora Sava: fuck sentiment

Eleonora Sava: can you call the police on a university? the school’s trying to kill me

—

Giovanni Garau to Eva Brighi: what do you want for breakfast

Eva Brighi: you’re an angel

Eva Brighi: but it’s almost noon just come back we’re getting lunch

—

Luchino to fede text when u wake up we went to get pizza: turns out I was wrong gio and Sofia weren’t missing

Luchino: just gio

Luchino: does anyone actually remember Sofia leaving the party last night?

Luchino: anyways gio’s back

Luchino: chicco and edo say they’ll be here in five

Eva Brighi: shit we’ve left

Luchino: you did?

Elia Santini: do you pay attention to anything?

Elia Santini: anything at all

Elia Santini: sofia didn’t even come last night ffs

Elia Santini: they fucking changed the name of the chat dude

—

Sana Allagui to Eleonora Sava: when ur done we’re downstairs

Sana Allagui: please hurry up some of us are starving

Eleonora Sava: why did you let me drink so much ur supposed to stop this stuff

Sana Allagui: ur very persuasive when you want to be

Sana Allagui: are you hurrying or are you just ignoring me now

Sana Allagui: I’m sending edo to get you

—

Sana Allagui to Edoardo Incanti: how long does it take to wrangle your girlfriend

Edoardo Incanti: not my girlfriend

Edoardo Incanti: and don’t fucking say stuff like that you’ll give me ideas

Sana Allagui: so she’s as slow at getting with you as she is at getting dressed?

Edoardo Incanti: fuck off

Sana Allagui: I’m hungry, charms

—

Edoardo Incanti to Fede Canegallo: when are you taking ur test

Fede Canegallo: why

Fede Canegallo: need me out of the apartment or smth?

Fede Canegallo: miss sava coming over?

Edoardo Incanti: dick

Edoardo Incanti: i guess you aren’t coming to pizza then

Fede Canegallo: you don’t even care

Fede Canegallo: you can just take ele now

Edoardo Incanti: there’s nine other people with us

Fede Canegallo: you’d still get down then n there if you were given the chance

—

Eva Brighi to Fede Canegallo: edo says he’s disowning you

Eva Brighi: what toppings do you like on ur pizza

—

Eleonora Sava to Giovanni Garau: did i leave my shit at yours

Eleonora Sava: please say yes

Giovanni Garau: yeah its here

Giovanni Garau: [pic]

Eleonora Sava: blessings from above

Eleonora Sava: are you joining us or no?

Eleonora Sava: Eva says to send you the tongue emoji but I’m not feeling nasty today

Eleonora Sava: she’d send you one herself but she’s got pizza grease on her fingers and doesn’t want to get her phone dirty

Giovanni Garau: tell her that’s sexy of her

—

Edoardo Incanti to Eleonora Sava: it’s rude to text at the table

Eleonora Sava: desperate times, mr. hypocrite

Edoardo Incanti: who’s getting ur table manners so wonky

Eleonora Sava: wouldn’t you like to know

Edoardo Incanti: i would, yes

Eleonora Sava: ur no fun

Eleonora Sava: just gio, I left my stuff at his this morning

Eleonora Sava: and I’m worried that if I go back to get it I’ll be roped into another midterms drinking game like last night

Eleonora Sava: he’s not exactly being the most helpful right now

Edoardo Incanti: want me to get them for you?

Eleonora Sava: my knight in shining armor

Eleonora Sava: don’t you have your own midterms to studying for? I don’t want to take time away from that

Edoardo Incanti: its nbd

Edoardo Incanti: how bout this

Edoardo Incanti: I’ll get ur books and you come study at mine and make sure I actually get shit done instead of playing fifa all night

Eleonora Sava: deal

Eleonora Sava: wait if I rat you out for playing video games instead of joining us last night can we still do that or no

—

Eva Brighi to *plays Baby K even harder*: @chicco @edo @fede ur all the WORST

Eva Brighi: fifa instead of drinks?

Eva Brighi: I’m appalled I really am

Edoardo Incanti: who knew appalled was even in ur vocabulary

Edoardo Incanti: and why are you texting about this we’re all here

Eva Brighi: fede isn’t and I want to express my anger at all 3 of you at the same time

Chicco Rodi: when fifa calls it calls

Federico Canegallo: doesn’t make it sound better chicco

Federico Canegallo: nd some of us like having working brains to get through midterms with

Eva Brighi: who are you and what have you done with fede

Federico Canegallo: fuck off Eva

Edoardo Incanti: its true high school fede would be ashamed

Elia Santini: last week fede would be ashamed

Elia Santini: I’m ashamed

—

Eleonora Sava to Edoardo Incanti: eva’s reading my texts over my shoulder I’m sorry

Eleonora Sava: please let me study at urs they haven’t killed you yet

Eleonora Sava: I will spam you with pleases until you say yes

Edoardo Incanti: are you done eating

Edoardo Incanti: lets just go now

—

Sana Allagui to we’ve reached 40 days and 40 nights in relationships wilderness ladies and germs: barrage of obnoxious texts?

Silvia Mirabella: they’re leaving to go study

Silvia Mirabella: both of them are too straight laced to actually think of doing otherwise

Silvia Mirabella: leave ‘em be

Sana Allagui: they left pizza early

Sana Allagui: and now we only have one car to get back

Sana Allagui: chicco’s not going to let me DJ so what’s even the point anymore

Sana Allagui: it’s what they deserve

Chicco Rodi: when did I say that

Giovanni Garau: i’m coming n I’m bringing my car don’t get ur panties in a twist

Sana Allagui: stop thinking about my panties gio

Giovanni Garau: ffs

Elia Santini: Sana i’m behind you

Sana Allagui: many thanks

Federico Canegallo: I’ve filled my obnoxious quota earlier I’m too tired to do anything else

Martino Rametta renamed the group what happened to having a working brain fede?

Eva Brighi: Marti you shit

Eva Brighi renamed the group we’ve made it to 40 days and 40 nights in relationship wilderness ladies and germs

Eva Brighi: literally the only established rule of this chat is that we only change the name to keep track of the days

Martino Rametta: this is exhausting

—

Chicco Rodi to Rocco Martucci: do you have the chat muted

Rocco Martucci: sorry who is this?

—

Eleonora Sava to Eva Brighi: Eva

Eleonora Sava: Eva I’m struggling

Eva Brighi: you left pizza early to go study with edo I am not speaking to you

Eleonora Sava: evaaaaaa

—

Eva Brighi removed Eleonora Sava from Le MAT&T

Eva Brighi: ele WILL try to thirst text you today do not answer her

Eva Brighi added Eleonora Sava to Le MAT&T

Eleonora Sava: sorry what the fuck was that for

Silvia Mirabella: no you don’t get to protest you’ve abandoned us

Silvia Mirabella: go study miss sava I’m disappointed in you, frankly

—

Eleonora Sava to Federica Caciotti: are you guys at gio’s

Eleonora Sava: Fede?

—

Federico Canegallo to Giovanni Garau: how’s it going over there

Giovanni Garau: we don’t have dumb sticks up our asses and aren’t studying so it’s going well

Federico Canegallo: Eva if I wanted to talk to you I would’ve texted you

Federico Canegallo: give gio the phone

—

Eva Brighi to Federico Canegallo: fuck you

—

Eleonora Sava to Sana Allagui: are you guys at gio’s

Sana Allagui: ERROR 404: The person you are trying to reach is not available. Check your connection and try again later.

—

Sana Allagui to Le MAT&T: [screenshot]

Sana Allagui: and here we have the rare procrastinating ele sava in her natural habitat

Eva Brighi: what a beautiful creature

Federica Caciotti: truly moving to see such majesty in nature

Silvia Mirabella: i can’t believe you’ve captured her on record

Eleonora Sava: I know you’re all sitting in the same room laughing at each other

Eleonora Sava: I’m never speaking to you again

—

Federico Canegallo to Edoardo Incanti: so are you guys still studying

Federico Canegallo: or are you fucking now

Federico Canegallo: because if you’re fucking I’m not gonna come home

Edoardo Incanti: 1. you’re a piece of shit

Edoardi Incanti: 2. did you text me thinking that I would respond if we were fucking?

Federico Canegallo: I mean its been a couple hours since I left so I was just making sure it was cool to come back

Federico Canegallo: typically people don’t fuck for entire afternoons on end so

Edoardo Incanti: please stop saying we’re fucking

Federico Canegallo: so you’re not?

Edoardo Incanti: i’m not going to answer that

Edoardo Incanti: go to gio’s tho she’s moved past procrastinating and gets annoyed if you interrupt her

—

Martino Rametta to Eleonora Sava: nico is wondering if we can use your pasta

Eleonora Sava: will you be following a recipe

Martino Rametta: i’m not gonna lie to you that was an ask permission after the fact kind of thing

Martino Rametta: it is edible tho if you want to have some when you get home

Martino Rametta: when will that be?

—

Eleonora Sava to Edoardo Incanti: what are you doing for dinner

Edoardo Incanti: i think talking in person about this isn’t violating the rules

Eleonora Sava: it is

Eleonora Sava: I can text and study at the same time and therefore I’m still studying and therefore we have to stay in separate rooms

Edoardo Incanti: you can be really obnoxious sometimes

Eleonora Sava: it’s a talent

Eleonora Sava: welcome to studying with me

Edoardo Incanti: ok you’re getting crabby

Eleonora Sava: rude

Edoardo Incanti: we’re officially done studying for the moment

Eleonora Sava: ok official means two party consent

Eleonora Sava: I did not consent to stop studying

Edoardo Incanti: acknowledged and overruled

Edoardo Incanti: i’m coming to you don’t flip ur shit

—

Chicco Rodi to someone get milk I haven’t been able to eat cereal in four days and i’m dying: [pic]

Chicco Rodi: Spotted! Edoardo Incanti out getting saucy with Eleonora Sava when they both said they’d be studying. Maybe they can use their combined genius to turn their ‘break’ into a ‘date.’ xoxo Gossip Girl

Edoardo Incanti: fuck off man

Federico Canegallo: edo all you have to do to make this stop

Federico Canegallo: is stop being a fucking coward and tell her how you feel

—

Chicco Rodi to Eva Brighi: edo and ele are at that greek stand by the conservatory

Eva Brighi: how dare they get gyros without me

Eva Brighi: what are you doing there

Chicco Rodi: not getting gyros bc now I have to spy on them

Eva Brighi: unfortunate

Chicco Rodi: the things I do for them

Eva Brighi: what, exactly, are you doing for them

Chicco Rodi: ur getting too hung up on the details

—

Elia Santini to *plays Baby K even harder*: drinks tonight?

Martino Rametta: some of us value our livers

Eleonora Sava: and our grades

Eva Brighi: if you value ur grades so much

Eleonora Sava: don’t say it

Eva Brighi: why aren’t you studying rn?

Eva Brighi: mm?

Elia Santini: again, drinks tonight?

Elia Santini: bueller? bueller?

Luchino: I’m in

Chicco Rodi: @elia we’re gonna try to play that one game from New Girl tonight

Giovanni Garau: i fucking love new girl

Federica Caciotti: doesn’t that revolve around American politicians

Chicco Rodi: historical figures, please

Chicco Rodi: and yes

Federica Caciotti: interesting

Sana Allagui: I’m coming just to watch you guys be confused

Edoardo Incanti: when is this starting

Chicco Rodi: may or may not be four drinks in

Edoardo Incanti: is2g

—

Eleonora Sava to Giovanni Garau: is anyone at urs rn? I need a quiet place to study

Giovanni Garau: no

Giovanni Garau: why don’t you go home?

Eleonora Sava: Eva will yell at me

Eleonora Sava: and edo forgot one of my books there earlier when he picked them up I’m sorry

Giovanni Garau: ok i’m leaving right now

Giovanni Garau: door’s unlocked but please be quick our neighbor will steal everything we own

Eleonora Sava: eva’s right you are an angel

—

Federico Canegallo to Edoardo Incanti: are you coming home or nah

Edoardo Incanti: went to gio’s to study

Edoardo Incanti: back later

Federico Canegallo: do you even need to study this much for the one test you still have

Federico Canegallo: I don’t understand you

—

Edoardo Incanti to Eva Brighi: ele is exhausted please don’t yell at her when she gets upstairs

Eva Brighi: …

Eva Brighi: fine

Eva Brighi: but only cuz you said please

—

Eva Brighi renamed the group 41 days and 41 nights in relationship wilderness ladies and germs

—

Eva Brighi to Eleonora Sava: Marti wants to know if you want anything for breakfast he and Nico are going out

Eva Brighi: he also called me lazy for not getting off the couch to ask you in person

Eva Brighi: will you yell at him for that pls

—

Silvia Mirabella to *plays Baby K even harder*: drinks here tonight for those of us who are feeling reckless or actually are done with midterms

Silvia Mirabella: starting at 21 but we’re getting Thai at 19 if anyone wants to join

Chicco Rodi: can u be both?

Silvia Mirabella: yea that’s allowed

Chicco Rodi: sick

Elia Santini: if we want Thai but don’t feel like actually going to the Thai place

Silvia Mirabella: no

—

Silvia Mirabella sent a link to silvietta.sil, profile on PayPal to Le MAT&T: fund drinks for tonight pls and thanks

Federica Caciotti renamed the group Le Mom’s not buying the booze anymore

Silvia Mirabella: funny

Federica Caciotti sent a link to federicarica, profile on PayPal: fund my career launch into comedy pls and thanks

—

Federico Canegallo to do NOT speak to me about the scooter: fifa tourney @ 15?

Elia Santini: ye

Giovanni Garau: taking my last midterm but I can be there at like 16:30

Federico Canegallo: lame

Chicco Rodi: will I actually get to play today sir

Luchino: sounds good

Rocco Martucci: do any of you actually go to class

Elia Santini: @chicco @rocco no

Chicco Rodi: fuck you @elia

Martino Rametta: same with gio but Nico says he’ll be there at 15

Martino Rametta: he’s wondering if you’ll have snacks or no

Federico Canegallo: tell the little fucker he can die before eating all of my good pretzels again

Martino Rametta: he says bite me

Federico Canegallo: @edo hello????

Federico Canegallo: update edo is still sleeping but told me to tell you all he’s going to kick your asses

Elia Santini: fat fucking chance, charms

—

Eva Brighi to Eleonora Sava: making coffee would you like some

—

Edoardo Incanti to Eleonora Sava: hi please tell me you actually went to bed last night instead of studying more

Eleonora Sava: I did

Edoardo Incanti: ok good

Edoardo Incanti: when are you taking it

Eleonora Sava: tomorrow

Edoardo Incanti: are you feeling better about it than you were yesterday?

Eleonora Sava: yes

Eleonora Sava: thank you

Edoardo Incanti: of course

Edoardo Incanti: i’d offer to let you come study here again but fede and chicco want to play fifa

Edoardo Incanti: lucky fuckers are already done with their midterms

Edoardo Incanti: but if you need someone to study with again, I’ll take on the task

Eleonora Sava: how kind of you

Eleonora Sava: I’m ok tho

Edoardo Incanti: if you’re sure

—

Eva Brighi to Eleonora Sava: are you down for Thai or no?

Eva Brighi: because now is the time to say something if ur not

Eva Brighi: silvia is Determined to get spring rolls

Eva Brighi: I think only you could stop her

Eva Brighi: sana tried suggesting that Salvadorian place but sil shut her down hard

Eva Brighi: come save us from tyranny pls

—

Chicco Rodi to *plays Baby K even harder*: just wanted to publicly make it known that I kicked Fede and Elia’s asses at fifa

Sana Allagui: ladies we’ve been demoted to peanut gallery

Sana Allagui: this is a federal offense

Eva Brighi: @chicco I’ll be impressed when you can beat ele at mario kart

Federica Caciotti: same

Martino Rametta: points were made

Silvia Mirabella: guys he might die lets not make him do that

Sana Allagui: can we still take them to court

Federica Caciotti: yes of course

Eva Brighi: get ur fucking lawyer ready boys

Luchino: wait court for what

Giovanni Garau: grabbing the game cube when I go home this weekend

Giovanni Garau: mario kart tourney Sunday night

Federico Canegallo: um pay attention to this tourney pls and thanks

Chicco Rodi: I’ve been challenged tho

Chicco Rodi: and they’re suing us

Federico Canegallo: I will smother you in ur sleep chicco PAY ATTENTION

—

Edoardo Incanti to Eleonora Sava: contrary to what the gc says it was mostly me who beat fede and Elia

Eleonora Sava: color me even more impressed than I already said I was

Edoardo Incanti: you didn’t say anything

Eleonora Sava: exactly

Edoardo Incanti: no one asked you to be sarcastic about it

Edoardo Incanti: now what’s this about mario kart

Eleonora Sava: don’t even try I will kick ur ass

Edoardo Incanti: I’ll have you know I’ve won every single Incanti cousins mario kart tourney since we started doing them when I was like nine

Eleonora Sava: its not that hard to beat Eva she’s shit

Edoardo Incanti: we have other cousins ya know

Eleonora Sava: did mario kart even exist when u were nine

Edoardo Incanti: ya p sure

Eleonora Sava: hm

Eleonora Sava: sounds dubious

Eleonora Sava: old

Edoardo Incanti: hey

—

Eva Brighi to Le Mom’s not buying the booze anymore: yeah I think Thai is fine

Sana Allagui: its not

Eva Brighi: what’s not fine is hiding in ur room and not answering ur texts all day

Federica Caciotti: ok so we’ve gotten through procrastination ele and annoyed ele and now we’re on to hermit ele

Federica Caciotti: we’ve almost completed the cycle

Silvia Mirabella: is she alive can you tell

Silvia Mirabella: sana shut up about the food for a sec

Sana Allagui: ok easy for u when ur the one that’s winning

Eva Brighi: yeah I’ve heard her go to the bathroom once or twice but she hasn’t come out besides that

Eva Brighi: I’ve texted her several times and when I call she sends me to voicemail

Sana Allagui: have you like knocked on the door

Eva Brighi: I may be an idiot but I’m not stupid Sana

Eva Brighi: of course I have

Eva Brighi: ele if you’re reading this knock on ur wall twice

Eva Brighi: ok she did it. love you ele please come out and eat something

—

Chicco Rodi to *plays Baby K even harder*: @ele so are you going to beat my ass in mario kart or not

Chicco Rodi: you didn’t say anything

Chicco Rodi: i need to kno how many blows my pride is gonna take this week

Federico Canegallo: ok you are preemptively anticipating ele beating you when gio’s beating you right now

Federico Canegallo: you’re not even playing anymore ffs

Chicco Rodi: some things you just have to accept fede

Edoardo Incanti: who the fuck says preemptively anticipate

Eva Brighi: don’t be jealous just bc some fede sounds fancier than you

Edoardo Incanti: is this bc I insulted ur vocabulary yesterday

—

Sana Allagui to Eleonora Sava: not responding to hermit ele takes some strength

Sana Allagui: is everything ok?

—

Edoardo Incanti: appalled

Edoardo Incanti: dubious

Edoardo Incanti: preemptive

Edoardo Incanti: anticipation

Eleonora Sava: no I am not arguing with you about this

Eleonora Sava: I’m studying

Eleonora Sava: unlike some people

Edoardo Incanti: mm ok point taken

—

Sana Allagui to Le Mom’s not paying for the booze anymore: ok Eva w/e you’ve done to piss ele off has extended to me

Sana Allagui: she’s not responding to my texts

Eva Brighi: well what did you say

Eva Brighi: also she’s not pissed off she’s Stressed

Eva Brighi: i’m Stressed

Sana Allagui: I asked if she was ok

Sana Allagui: n she didn’t say anything

Silvia Mirabella: ele knock twice on the wall again if ur stressed

Silvia Mirabella: eva did she do it

Eva Brighi: no

Eva Brighi: her phone’s going straight to voicemail now I think it’s off

Silvia Mirabella: damn

Silvia Mirabella: frontal assault into her room?

Eva Brighi: I have a better idea

—

Eva Brighi to Edoardo Incanti: hey

—

Eleonora Sava to marti make sure nico cleans out the lint filter on the dryer or I will cut you: someone please water the plants on the veranda

Eleonora Sava: I just realized that I didn’t get to them this morning and they’re sitting directly in the sun

Martino Rametta: i would totally do it but I am not home atm

Eva Brighi: I have a good idea for you

Eva Brighi: you could come out and do it yourself

Eva Brighi: ele?

—

Martino Rametta to Eva Brighi: everything ok with ele?

Eva Brighi: you’ve been gone all day I forgot

Eva Brighi: she isn’t coming out of her room or answering her texts

Martino Rametta: oh so Test Ele

Eva Brighi: I think its worse than usual

—

Martino Rametta to Eleonora Sava: hi i would request that you set aside your books and take ten deep breaths

Martino Rametta: nico seconds me

Eleonora Sava: :/

Martino Rametta: eva did water the plants on the veranda she sent me a pic

Eleonora Sava: :)

—

Edoardo Incanti to Eva Brighi: sorry I was talking to nonna

Edoardo Incanti: she wants us to come over soon

Eva Brighi: like today soon?

Edoardo Incanti: no like in a few weeks

Eva Brighi: ok

Eva Brighi: wait aren’t you guys doing fifa right now

Edoardo Incanti: does that make me incapable of texting nonna

Eva Brighi: she doesn’t text

Edoardo Incanti: calling nonna then w/e

Eva Brighi: edoardo incanti did you actually speak to our grandmother or are you bsing me

Edoardo Incanti: i promise I did I’m just very tired atm

Eva Brighi: ok lover boy I’ll let it slide this time

Eva Brighi: text ele for me I haven’t heard or seen her all day and I’m getting worried

Edoardo Incanti: weird she’s been texting me

Eva Brighi: of fucking course

Edoardo Incanti: is everything ok?

Eva Brighi: she’s being a recluse

Eva Brighi: I’ve found that she gets like this around tests its p usual

Eva Brighi: but this feels off I’m worried

—

Edoardo Incanti: in order to properly be a recluse you have to turn your phone off you know

Eleonora Sava: I have no idea what ur talking about

Edoardo Incanti: Eva says she hasn’t heard from you all day

Edoardo Incanti: you haven’t been responding in the gc

Edoardo Incanti: but you’ve been texting me

Edoardo Incanti: don’t recluses avoid all contact w the outside world

Eleonora Sava: whoever said I was trying to be a recluse

Edoardo Incanti: is everything ok?

Eleonora Sava: yes

Eleonora Sava: why wouldn’t it be

Edoardo Incanti: i’m coming over

Eleonora Sava: you don’t need to

Edoardo Incanti: i am tho

Eleonora Sava: edo

Eleonora Sava: edo seriously you don’t have to

Eleonora Sava: edo pick up your damn phone

—

Edoardo Incanti to Eva Brighi: are you home?

Eva Brighi: ya

Edoardo Incanti: come buzz me in

Eva Brighi: she’s not gonna let you in I’ve tried that

Edoardo Incanti: w/e just do it pls

—

Federico Canegallo: where did you go

Edoardo Incanti: ele’s

Federico Canegallo: ok

Federico Canegallo: not gonna finish the tourney?

Edoardo Incanti: we played for like two and a half hours I think that’s enough

Federico Canegallo: ok

Federico Canegallo: are you gonna come to drinks

Edoardo Incanti: depends

Federico Canegallo: ok

Federico Canegallo: tell her to feel better

—

Eva Brighi to Le Mom’s not buying the booze anymore: ok better idea is here now

Sana Allagui: don’t tell me you got edo to come over

Silvia Mirabella: eva now is not the time to try to set them up

Sana Allagui: it’s brilliant

Eva Brighi: ok contrary to popular (silvia’s) belief chicco and I are NOT crazy for trying to set them up

Eva Brighi: n this isn’t part of that

Eva Brighi: they are friends and friends are allowed to do shit like care about each other

Federica Caciotti: and have romantic feelings for one another

Eva Brighi: not! the! point!

—

Silvia Mirabella to *plays Baby K even harder*: numbers for Thai?

Luchino: me

Elia Santini: ok the tourney’s almost done

Elia Santini: you’re sure you won’t bring any to us

Silvia Mirabella: we are going back to mine after this why would we bring it all the way to fede’s

Chicco Rodi: me for Thai

Giovanni Garau: same

Martino Rametta: me n nico too

Elia Santini: traitors

Martino Rametta: we literally are already done with the tourney you’re just a sore loser and want to play until you win a game

Elia Santini: ur exposing me

Elia Santini: i will eat ur firstborn

Silvia Mirabella: edo? fede?

Federico Canegallo: nah I am gonna pity play Elia until he wins

Elia Santini: fuck you

—

Edoardo Incanti to Silvia Mirabella: any chance you could make a stop here after Thai

Silvia Mirabella: no i literally just told Elia I’m not going to yours

Edoardo Incanti: at ele’s

Silvia Mirabella: oh

Silvia Mirabella: yeah of course

Silvia Mirabella: what do you guys want

Edoardo Incanti: the drunken noodles and that one yellow curry

Silvia Mirabella: will do

Silvia Mirabella: is ele ok?

Edoardo Incanti: yeah she’s alright

Silvia Mirabella: tell her I’m glad she’s ok

—

Eva Brighi to Edoardo Incanti: how’s ele

Edoardo Incanti: hungry

Eva Brighi: we’ll stop by soon

Eva Brighi: almost done I promise

Eva Brighi: besides that?

Edoardo Incanti: she yelled at me for a bit for coming over n got mad when I took away her textbook

Edoardo Incanti: but then she calmed down

Edoardo Incanti: currently on the porch

Edoardo Incanti: she’s v concerned about the plants

Edoardo Incanti: says you did a shit job of watering them

Eva Brighi: that is what she wants to say rn

Eva Brighi: so picky

Eva Brighi: is she feeling better?

Edoardo Incanti: i think so

Edoardo Incanti: really remains to be see tho

Edoardo Incanti: she’s very stressed

Eva Brighi: ok

Eva Brighi: keep me updated

—

Silvia Mirabella to Edoardo Incanti: i come bearing food

Silvia Mirabella: buzz me in pls

—

Federico Canegallo to *plays Baby K even harder*: we’ll be over soon

Eva Brighi: cool we started w/o you

—

Eva Brighi to Le Mom’s not paying for the booze anymore: mission check on ele post drinks is a go

Eva Brighi: I might be too drunk for this but w/e

Eva Brighi: all the lights are off

Eva Brighi: it’s quiet

Eva Brighi: checking her room

Eva Brighi: oh!

Eva Brighi: they are asleep

Sana Allagui: they

Silvia Mirabella: they?

Eva Brighi: yes edo is here still

Sana Allagui: nice

Federica Caciotti: how does ele look

Eva Brighi: relaxed

Sana Allagui: are they snuggling

Eva Brighi: yes

Eva Brighi: its v cute

—

Eva Brighi renamed the group ok they were snuggling last night are we still in the relationship wilderness, who knows? day 1

Chicco Rodi: sorry they were what last night

#skam italia #incantava #eleonora sava #edoardo incanti #incantava fic #if it feels like crack it's bc it low-key is lmaooooo #this was fun to write tho I hope it makes sense and the plot line is easy enough to follow #my tags on ao3 are a lot more explanatory than here sorry about that

55 notes · View notes

zoemurph · 6 years

Text

to have a friend, chapter 10: $233

on ao3 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9

haha im dying!

thank you for being patient. i have one essay left, a group project (that includes another essay :P), a final quiz, a flash fiction piece, and a final. and i'm done with my first semester of college? i'm actually...taking next semester off so...probably more consistent updates after this. phew. oh and i won nano? wild

i'm exhausted and genuinely don't like at least 75% of this chapter, but it's done. please please p l e a s e read the end notes for a little disclaimer thanks

warnings: anxiety, depression, panic attacks, let me know if any other warnigns should be added

enjoy~

Sometimes Connor has the really strong urge to hold Evan’s hand.

It’s a weird feeling. This desire to just reach out and take Evan’s hand in his own and not even say anything, just hold it.

Sometimes Connor thinks that romantic feelings are bullshit. Especially when it’s seven in the morning and Evan sees him waiting by the locker and lights up like the goddamn sun and Connor’s stomach tries to become an Olympic gymnast.

Like right now.

Evan stands next to Connor, their arms almost touching, as he talks to Alana. They’re still trying to figure out a name for their club, because for whatever reason, Alana refuses to use The Fuck Project.

Jared thinks it’s hilarious, which has somehow worked against the name.

Alana is going on about the details. Evan nods, and he probably knows what’s going on, but Connor’s zoned out. Alana has this in the bag and also Connor isn’t actually involved in their little pet project. Even if the initial idea did come from Alana being way too fucking nosy.

She’s nice when she’s not picking Connor’s brain.

So Alana and Evan talk and Connor stands and people pass them and time until the next class starts ticks down and down and down. It’s a nice moment. Weirdly calm. For once, Connor doesn’t feel entirely awful, despite where he is and everything about himself.

He still wants to hold Evan’s hand.

It’s not like Connor actively tries to think about it. The opposite, in fact. As soon as thoughts about dating Evan pop up, he shoves them to the very back of his brain. He quarantines them away in the darkest corners, because thinking about it hurts.

Evan has made himself a constant in Connor’s life. But a temporary constant. Which is weird and annoying and tiring. Sometimes Connor’s emotions bubble up inside him and threaten to spill out and then Evan will give him this look when Connor pays him and everything just vanishes. Evan looks at Connor and all Connor’s thoughts shrink back and go ‘fuck never mind’.

That doesn’t mean that he’s actually good about not thinking it. He’s getting worse, actually. It’s turning into a mild problem.

Evan can just look at Connor and Connor’s heart will flip and his mind will be consumed with ‘holy fuck I would date the shit out of him’.

He would. Connor has absolutely zoned out staring at Evan on multiple occasions. He keeps passing it off as being tired and honestly it’s a miracle that Evan hasn’t started asking about Connor’s sleep schedule— which is a disaster but isn’t why Connor keeps staring Evan.

Connor keeps staring at Evan because his brain is a fucking traitor and likes to think about what it would be like to kiss Evan.

Of all the boys to fall in love with, Connor had to go and fall in love with Evan Hansen.

Connor checks his phone under his desk. It’s been facedown on his desk — he’s making an attempt in calculus because he’s doing a really shit job right now and he has to pass because he literally cannot spend a day longer in this hellscape than he has to — but he can see the screen lighting up repeatedly.

From: Ev To: Connor AR eyou in clasright no w Of cours e youre in c alss where els e wi oudl you b Im so ryrcan you g et out ?

Connor squints at the board. There are x’s and t’s and some other bullshit that he doesn’t understand. A lot of lines and marks.

Fuck.

He opens another conversation.

From: dickbag To: assface you any good at calc?

Jared replies surprisingly fast. Actually, not so surprisingly. Connor is actually not surprised at all that Jared uses his phone in class.

From: assface To: dickbag ive got a mean b in calc bc y

Connor raises his hand and asks to go to the bathroom. The teacher waves him out the door and keeps teaching.

From: assface To: dickbag i have to do something and i need to not fail you willing to tell me what the fuck is happening?

From: Connor To: Ev where are you? got out of class

Connor heads to the bathroom, because he’s already on the third floor and that’s where Evan was last time. And it’s the closest bathroom. His phone buzzes in his hand as he hurries through the hall and he tries not to groan when it’s just Jared.

From: dickbag To: assface no promises but i can try dont know y ur coming to me lmao also i charge $10/hr

From: assface To: dickbag fine but youre a dick

Connor pushes the bathroom door open. The lights are on, someone’s been in here in the past ten minutes, but the bathroom is empty. He drags his hand through his hair and catches a look at himself in the mirror.

Wow. He looks like shit.

Connor rubs his face and checks his phone again. It’s been buzzing, but it’s just been Jared.

From: dickbag To: assface not news whats so important that ur running out of class?? o shit drugs? 420 blaze it i dont kno weed culture

As Connor scrolls through Jared’s messages, a text from Evan pops up on the top of his screen.

From: Ev To: Connor J aanito s clostesecond follr

Connor runs into a wide eyed freshman as he hurries out of the bathroom and swings around a corner to get to the stairs. He only vaguely knows where that closet it, because he’s never had a reason to pay attention to it. Janitor’s closets are usually locked and it’s not like Connor is observant when it comes to his surroundings.

He skips the last few steps and just jumps down to the landing, slowing to a fast walk as he searches the hallway for the janitor’s closet. He finds it tucked into a corner between two classrooms. He glances up and down the hallway before he knocks softly. He tries the handle and knocks again before he pulls the door open.

“Evan?” he asks softly into the darkened closet. Light from the hallway spills into the darkness, barely brushing Evan’s shoes. Evan is huddled into the corner furthest away from the door, squished between shelves, on the ground with his knees pulled to his chest and his arms covering his head.

Connor stares for a minute, listening to Evan’s ragged breathing, before he steps into the closet. He turns on his phone’s flashlight and covers it with his hand before pulling the door closed. He lets some light slip through his fingers and finds a bottle of Windex on one of the shelves. He puts his phone under it and the room glows blue. Maybe life hacks aren’t always as shitty as they seem.

Connor sits down on the floor next to Evan. “Ev,” he whispers. “Can I help?”

Evan doesn’t look up. After a few seconds he stops holding on to his hair so tightly and holds a shaking hand out to Connor. Connor takes it. Almost immediately, Evan’s hand clenches around Connor’s, squeezing Connor’s fingers tightly. Connor moves over so the position is less awkward and lightly squeezes Evan’s hand back.

Connor sits and waits, because he doesn’t really know what else to do. He watches Evan’s breathing and tries not to let his mind wander too much, because it’s too early in the day for any of that shit.

Evan loosens his grip on Connor’s hand and the tension seems to run out of his body. He sags against the wall and slowly lifts his head from his knees. He pulls his hand away. “S-sor-sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Connor says. His voice sounds weirdly rough. He clears it and stretches out his fingers.

Evan stares at them. “I— i-if I hurt your…your hand I didn’t mean to I just—”

“You didn’t,” Connor interrupts quickly. “See?” He wiggles his fingers. “Work just fine.” He stuffs his hands in his pockets. “Do you…uh, want to talk about it?”

Evan makes a strangled sound. “N-nothing to… I mean there’s always—” He rubs his eyes with the back of his hand. “D-dr. Sherman always says that— that there’s something? And I just don’t u-understand what so I’m…supposed to process it. But I just…”

“I think it’s a fucking lot to ask you to process shit right after a panic attack,” Connor says flatly.

Evan shrugs helplessly. “I don’t— I-I forget. I forget what I’m— what I feel in the moment a-and what I was thinking and then when she asks what was going through my mind I can’t tell her and then I feel worse and like a failure and I think I’m supposed to be getting better because I go to therapy and I take meds and—” Evan cuts himself off to take a deep breath. “It takes time,” Evan says softly. “It takes time. It takes time and it’ll get better it just—”

“Takes time?” Connor asks.

Evan smiles at him weakly. “Y-yeah.”

The bell rings, slightly muffled. Evan goes tense.

Connor thinks about his calculus teacher. She probably won’t be thrilled that he skipped out on the rest of class, but whatever. Maybe he’ll do homework for once and try to get back on her disinterested side.

“Your mom is working right now, isn’t she?” Connor asks slowly.

Evan nods. “Yeah, she’s a-always working. Pretty much.”

“We’ve still got three classes to get through.” Connor bumps their knees together. “Can you hide out in the nurse’s office or something? I’d say just leave, but…” Evan shakes his head. “Yeah, exactly. I don’t know shit about doing things the ‘right’ way.”

“I’ll…be okay,” Evan says.

Connor stares at him.

“It’s-it’s really fine,” Evan insists.

“Ev—”

“I’ve done it before, it’s not a big… I’ll just— it’s okay, really.”

“You aren’t taking the bus home today,” Connor says. He gets to his feet and takes the Windex off of his phone. “Light warning.” Evan covers his eyes. Connor flicks the light on and winces in the brightness before shutting off his flashlight. He slides his phone into his pocket and offers Evan his hand.

Evan takes it and lets Connor haul him to his feet. “Y-you don’t have to—”

“Fuck the bus,” Connor interrupts. “Zoe has a perfectly good car.”

Evan blinks. “Doesn’t she have rehearsal today?”

“How do you know my sister’s schedule better than I do?” Connor opens the door of the closet and peers out into the hallway. They have to be careful, because high school is fucking hell. Most people won’t give a shit and don’t pay attention to shit, but all it takes is one person assuming something. When no one is looking, he steps out of the closet and pulls Evan along, walking away from the closet quickly and melting into the thinning crowd. “So what if we have to wait for her to get out, just hang around with me for a little bit.”

As soon as Connor says it, his stomach twists. “I don’t have any today but—”

Evan stops walking, yanking Connor back a bit. They’re still holding hands. Connor pulls his away and puts his hands in the pocket of his sweatshirt.

“D-don’t,” Evan says.

Connor furrows his eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

“You’re already— you’re doing me a favor by…by driving me home. So you don’t have to…” Evan gestures with his hands. “Debt paid. It’s— you’re fine.” Connor stares at him. “I— okay.”

Evan takes a step back. “I have to… I have class. I’ll see you after.” He spins on his heel and walks down the hallway, dodging other students before disappearing around a corner.

—«·»—

Connor drops into his seat in the back of AP Literature and puts his head down on his desk.

He needs to think about something — anything — other than Evan. Evan is supposed to be the one who thinks himself into an anxious spiral, not Connor. And Connor can’t help but feel like something is horribly wrong.

But, fuck, he wouldn’t stop their arrangement for anything. He’ll keep paying Evan to put up with him in the halls for as long as he possibly can, just to see Evan smile.

He wants to see Evan smile today. Anything other than the empty expression he had on his face when he walked away from Connor earlier.

Alana sits down next to Connor. Sometimes Connor forgets him and Alana talk now, even if it’s only because she’s Evan’s friend and probably thinks this is a good way to keep tabs on Evan. All she’s ever wanted from Connor is information, anyway.

Connor stares out the window at the icy field hockey field spread out in front of the school as the teacher starts the lesson. Something about the essay they have due in a few days at midnight.

Alana hands over her essay, printed and typed, five pages long double spaced and stapled in the corner. “It’s just a rough draft,” she says.

Connor blinks at the paper. “Uh…were we supposed to…”

She shakes her head. “No, we just needed to have an outline today.” She adjusts her glasses and opens a notebook. “But if you didn’t—”

“I did,” Connor says quickly. He actually did for once. “Here.” He pulls out his notebook and flips through pages and pages of shitty sketches to the section where he just stuffs any loose papers he’s handed. He pulls out the outline and smooths it out a little. “Don’t expect anything.”

“I’m sure it’s fine,” Alana says as she takes it from him.

Connor squints at her. “I did this while high so it’s either a brilliant disaster or just a fucking mess.”

Alana grins. “I hope it’s a brilliant disaster.”

“Probably not.”

She just shrugs and pulls out a pen, tapping it on her notebook as she skims over the outline. Connor turns to Alana’s essay and starts reading. Alana likes words and complex sentences. She’s good at backing up her points with evidence from the text, and doesn’t dance around her conclusions. She has a structure and logic to her essay that Connor’s never been able to achieve. He just sort of says words until he feels like he’s done.

He reads her fourth paragraph a few times, picking at his nail polish as he does so. He glances over to Alana and then reads it again.

She’s scribbling on his outline when he looks back to her. She meets his eyes. “Something wrong?”

Connor’s eyes flick from her to her essay. “Uh…no.”

Alana rolls her eyes and hands him her pen. “Fix it. Whatever it is. That’s the entire point of peer review.”

“I could be wrong—” Connor starts, but Alana holds up a hand to stop him.

“I’ll decide what to do with your feedback. Just do it.”

Connor nods slowly and hesitates with the pen hovering over the paper. “What are you doing, by the way?”

“Translating.”

“What?”

Alana pulls another pen from her backpack and uncaps it. “Your outline is good, you have some really good ideas in here, it’s just lost in the typos and grammar.”

“I can figure it out,” Connor says. “You don’t have to do that shit.”

Alana raises an eyebrow. “Are you sure?”

Connor blinks. “…not anymore?”

She nods firmly. “Exactly. You edit mine, I’ll edit yours. You won’t hurt my feelings, please, feel free to rip it to shreds.”

Connor exhales slowly. “Okay, Beck. Whatever.” He strikes out a sentence. “Whatever you say.”

—«·»—

Connor meets Evan by Evan’s locker. They lock eyes and for a second everything feels weird. And then Jared shows up.

Connor has never been relieved to see Jared Kleinman before.

“What’s up?” Jared asks, clapping a hand on Evan’s shoulder. “My…main bros.”

Connor rolls his eyes. “Don’t call me that.”

“Alright, crossing that off the list.” Jared gives Evan a look and Evan shrugs. Connor looks between them and shifts his weight to his other foot. “Anyway, you free on Saturday?” he asks Evan.

Evan blinks. “Y-yes?”

“My moms wanted you over for dinner. They’re going to try to harass Heidi into coming too but,” Jared shrugs, “we know how that is.”

Evan smiles and ducks his head. “I-I mean— yeah that’d be…that’d be nice. Um, I can…ask my mom?”

“Nice.” Jared holds his fist out for a fist bump. Evan rolls his eyes and knocks their knuckles together. “Okay, text me, cause if she’s working, I’ll swing by and pick you up.”

Evan nods. “O-okay, I will.”

“Sweet, got to dash or I’ll never get out of here.” Jared shoots finger guns at Connor. “See, ya Murph,” he says before sprinting down the hallway.

Connor lifts a hand to wave goodbye as jealousy twists in his stomach. It makes him feel gross. He swallows it and turns to Evan. “So, uh…we can probably hide in a practice room until Zoe’s done.”

Evan pulls on the straps of his backpack. “A-are they, um, open? Because I know, I mean I’ve heard because sometimes the band kids in my classes complain about this, that they lock? Or get locked? So…”

“We can…check?” Connor suggests.

Evan nods. “That’s…probably a good idea.”

Connor leads Evan down to the music wing. The first two practice rooms are locked, but the third that they try is unlocked. Connor raises his eyebrows at Evan and pushes the door open. The lights flicker on automatically and Evan closes the door behind them.

All four of the practice rooms are the same in Connor’s experience, a keyboard and bench, a trash, and maybe a stand or chair that someone has dragged in. Except one, that for some reason, has two pianos. They lucked out and that is exactly the room they’re in. Less room, but it doesn’t really matter.

Evan puts his bag down on one of the piano benches and then sits on the floor in the space between the end of the piano and the wall.

Connor coughs. “Uh…are you…okay?” He winces. Yikes.

“Tired,” Evan says softly.

Connor glances to the light switch before pressing the button to turn off the lights. There’s still a decent amount of light from the window in the door, but it’s darker. Connor puts down his bag and joins Evan on the floor. Evan looks up at him.

“Take a nap,” Connor suggests.

Evan blinks at him.

Connor sighs. “Scoot over.”

Evan moves so he’s as close to the piano as he can get. Connor squeezes into the space between Evan and the wall. There’s way more space in these practice rooms than it seems, the pianos make them look small.

Connor pulls on the sleeve of Evan’s sweatshirt. “Just lean on me. More comfortable than the wall, probably, though I’m basically all bone.”

“Y-you sure?”

Connor rolls his eyes because it feels right. “I wouldn’t be offering if I wasn’t. Close your eyes, Ev.”

“Okay,” Evan whispers. He rests his head on Connor’s shoulder. “Wake me up if your arm falls asleep.”

“Sure,” Connor lies.

A few minutes later, Evan’s breathing starts to even out. When Connor is sure that he’s asleep, he carefully pulls his phone out of his pocket.

From: C To: Z waiting in practice room c evans napping so dont come in just knock or some shit

Once he’s sent the texts, he puts his phone down and turns his attention back to Evan. Connor turns his head to look down at Evan, and when his nose brushes Evan’s hair, his heart goes into double time.

Fuck.

—«·»—

Connor thinks he’s drifted off when Zoe finally knocks on the door. He inhales sharply and sits up straighter, eyes wide. He leans forward to see Zoe standing in front of the door with her guitar on her back and her saxophone in hand.

He leans back and sighs. Okay.

Connor shakes Evan’s shoulder. “Ev, Ev wake up. Zoe’s done.”

Evan groans and blinks blearily. “Huh?”

Connor’s breath catches in his throat. He finds himself lost in Evan’s sleepy eyes for a moment too long and hopes Evan’s still too asleep to notice. “Zoe,” he says. “We can go home now.”

“Oh.” Evan pulls himself to his feet using the piano. About halfway up, he grabs Connor’s arm and pulls Connor up as well.

They grab their bags and open the door.

“Sleep well?” Zoe asks with a smirk.

Connor flips her off behind Evan.

Evan shrugs. “I-it was the floor.”

Connor takes Zoe’s saxophone from her. “Let’s go. I have an essay to write.”

Zoe blinks. “You do?”

“Unfortunately,” he grumbles.

The parking lot is blissfully empty when they step outside. The air is bitter and cold, and Connor wishes that it would just snow more than half an inch so the burning cold is worth it. He grabs Evan’s arm when Evan slips on ice and Zoe makes an offhanded comment about driving and black ice.

“You know?” she says to Evan.

Evan blinks. “N-no, I don’t— I don’t drive?”

Zoe frowns. “Do you take the bus?”

Evan turns pink, and Connor wonders if he’s redder because of the cold or not. “Yeah, it’s…yeah.”

Zoe looks to Connor.

“What?” Connor asks.

“What time does the bus pick you up?” Zoe asks.

“Uh…” Evan slows his walk. “I— around like…6:35?”

Zoe purses her lips. “Okay. Monday? We can swing by and pick you up.” She twirls her car keys around her finger. “Unless you hate my music choices as much as Connor does.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Evan says quickly.

“Too late,” Zoe sing songs. She unlocks the car and pops the trunk open. She puts her guitar in and then takes her saxophone from Connor. “We’d be happy to, right Connor?”

“Duh,” Connor says. “The bus is bullshit.”

“Good for the environment,” Evan says. “P-public transport!”

“We’re already using this car.” Zoe slams the trunk shut. “So it doesn’t actually matter. No additional cars on the road, just one less Evan the a bus.”

“Uh…”

“Sleep on it.” She rubs her arms. “Let’s go before I freeze.” She glances to Connor as she moves to the driver’s side. “How are you alive?”

Connor shrugs and pulls open the car door. He slides into the backseat next to Evan. “Can’t feel cold if you’re dead inside.”

Zoe twists around in her seat to glare at him before shutting the door. She turns on the car, blasts the heat even though it’s just air at the moment, and plugs her phone in. “Today we’re listening to Billy Joel,” she announces. “Get over it Connor.”

Connor just leans his forehead against the cold window as Uptown Girl plays from the speakers.

Zoe asks for directions a few times, but for the most part, they drive in silence aside from the Billy Joel in the slowly warming car.

Connor sits up when they arrive at Evan’s. “I’ll text you,” he says.

Evan gives him a smile. “Y-yeah. Thanks for the ride.”

“I’ll see you Monday at 6:40!” Zoe calls out before he shuts the door. She turns to look at Connor. “You moving up?”

“I guess.” Connor unbuckles and climbs over the center consul to get into the passenger seat. He buckles back in and Zoe backs out of the driveway.

“So…” she says slowly. “You and Evan.”

“What about us?” Connor asks flatly.

Zoe glances to him. “Anything…up?”

“Do you want me to say it?”

“No, but I can’t stop you from doing shit.”

“The sky.”

Zoe rolls her eyes. “Great, now that that’s out of the way—”

“Nothing,” Connor interrupts. “Can’t two people be friends?”

“Well, yeah, obviously.” Zoe taps on the steering wheel. “You just seem like more than that.”

Connor scoffs. More like barely that. “We aren’t.”

“Do you want to be?”

Connor stares at the road. “The light is green.”

Connor spends most of his Saturday writing his paper. Because Alana had written all over his outline and now he feels obligated to make something half decent out of the genius she turned his bullshit into. Also, she shared her essay with him on google docs the night before for him to edit — he does not know why the fuck she did that and hates the fact that school emails are standardized so she didn’t even have to ask for his email — and offered to edit his in return. He’s not going to give up that opportunity. He’s doing fine in english but another solid essay grade can get his parents to calm down for at least a day.

He texts Evan and draws when he’s not writing. The other weekend, Cynthia dragged him off to the store with her, so he threw a cheap set of kids’ watercolors in the cart. And a box of Capri sun. He sits on his floor and drinks a Capri sun while he waits for a painting to dry. Evan is making lunch right now, so it’ll be a few minutes before he responds. Evan doesn’t usually text Connor while he’s making food, apparently the risk of fire is higher than normal, and that’s not just Evan’s anxiety talking.

Evan had texted him the night before thanking him for the ride home. Connor had replied ‘what are friends for’ and then threw his phone across the room so he didn’t have to read Evan’s response. It didn’t end up mattering, because Evan’s next text wasn’t sent until this morning, and it was a frantic apology because he fell asleep before responding.

Connor just said it was fine and changed the subject as fast as he could.

Connor sighs and gets to his feet. As he waits for the painting to dry, he’s really fucking impatient, he takes pictures of some of his least shitty doodles from class and posts them on a randomass tumblr he made after Evan suggested posting his art online. Mostly Connor did it out of curiosity, he didn’t really use the site otherwise, just posts drawings and then vanishes for a few days, but it’s also good because it means he has somewhere where all his art was stored digitally. He might’ve accidentally spilt a mug of coffee all over a notebook the other day. And he distinctly remembers setting a few sketchbooks on fire back in middle school.

From: Ev To: Connor Back ! ANd I didnt evne burn anything

Connor smiles to himself and leans against his bed.

From: Connor To: Ev congrats you now have the cooking skills of a 12 year old

From: Ev To: Connor :((

Connor hesitates before typing out his next message. He really shouldn’t ask — it’s a fucking terrible idea on so many levels — but it’s been slowly eating away at him. Which doesn’t make sense. But whatever.

From: Connor To: Ev doesnt matter though i mean youre having dinner tonight wth jared right??

He puts his phone on his desk and goes back to painting and tries not to think about it for a few minutes. It’s not fair of him to get jealous. Because Jared is trying to get better. He’s still a dick but there’s an attempt there.

Connor hasn’t changed anything.

He sits on the floor and works on the painting. Now that he has slightly less shitty watercolors, they’re still pretty garbage but they aren’t old and mostly gone, he uses way too much purple again.

Whatever.

He doesn’t check his phone again until he has to wait for more paint to dry. He’s tempted to grab a sketchbook and keep ignoring it, but that’s not fair to Evan.

From: Ev To: Connor Oh y eah We used to ha ve dinner a lot togethe r when ew wer elittle All oru moms were friends Kinda weird that were doing it again but… NIce?? Hopefull y ? My mom s ocming which is nice She hasnt been home ofr a few nights so yeah

Connor takes a slow breath before replying.

From: Connor To: Ev thats pretty cool i hope its fun and the food doesnt suck

Evan replies almost immediately, even though Connor took almost twenty minutes to respond.

From: Ev To: Connor Thnk you!!! Jareds moms are really good cook sso itll be good I think I hope dinner goes ok for you tonight !! Good luck :)

Connor stares at the smiley face and falls on his bed with a groan.

—«·»—

“You’ve been spending a lot of time with Evan lately,” Larry says, pushing quino around his plate.

Connor resists the urge to roll his eyes. They never really talked about that. Sometimes, when Zoe goes over a friend’s house or has a friend over, Connor will give Larry a very pointed look and Larry will find something on his phone fascinating. An amazing double standard.

And, like? Of course he spends time with Evan. They’re best friends— pretending to be best friends. Connor doesn’t know how to get that through Larry’s thick skull.

Evan is Connor’s best friend.

“Well yeah,” Connor says, stabbing a piece of kale with his fork. “He’s my boyfriend.”

Wait, shit—

Zoe chokes on her drink.

“What?!” Larry practically shouts, silverware hitting the table.

Connor opens his mouth to explain that technically, no, they aren’t boyfriends, though they are friends who are boys, even if sometimes Evan looks at him and makes Connor feel like he’s turning to putty. But they aren’t actually—

He glances to his mom with wide eyes. “Mom? Are you okay?”

Cynthia smiles, eyes watering. “I’m just so happy for you, sweetie!”

Connor slowly looks around the table. His mother crying tears of joy, his father staring at him in shock, his sister trying to bite back a smile.

Connor needs to talk to Evan immediately.

They’re fucked.

—«·»—

Connor grabs Zoe’s before she can disappear into her bedroom. She stiffens and he pulls his hand away. “Sorry.”

“You’re fine.” She crosses her arms. “I thought you told me nothing was going on between you and Evan.” She raises her eyebrows.

Connor grimaces. “I— don’t tell Evan.”

Zoe tilts her head. “Don’t tell Evan…you’re dating?”

Fuck. “No, no, fuck.” Connor frantically searches his mind. “I, uh, we weren’t going to…tell people? Yet? And I…fucked that up. So don’t— don’t mention it to him until like he says something or whatever, okay?”

Zoe mimes zipping her lips. “Secret’s safe with me. But also, I fucking knew it.”

Connor forces a laugh and runs his hand through his hair. “Yeah. You did.”

Zoe goes back into her room and Connor grabs his phone and goes down to the basement. He wonders if he can get his door back for Hanukkah, but for now, this is the only private place he’s got. He would lock himself in the bathroom, but that’s still way too close to the rest of his family members for comfort.

He flicks on the light as he heads down the stairs and grabs a blanket off the back of one of the chairs. The basement is about half finished and has been since Connor was in middle school. One of those projects that Larry never got around to finishing. Now they mostly use it for storage and hanging out when it gets too hot in the summer and even central air isn’t working well enough. Him and Zoe used to camp out for weeks in the basement on air mattresses and stay up way past their bedtimes giggling.

Now it’s December. He hasn’t been down here since he punched the far wall when everyone else was asleep. Him and Zoe haven’t spent time together in here in years. They haven’t done much together in years.

Connor wraps himself in a blanket and sits down in one of the old oversized chairs. They’re only down here because the went out of style and were deemed unworthy for the living room.

He unlocks his phone, scrolls through his contacts, and presses call. Then he listens to the phone ring and hopes that they’re done with dinner at the Kleinmans’ while he waits for the call to be answered.

“Hello?”

Connor grits his teeth. “Hi. I…might need help.”

“Is it about Evan?”

Connor frowns. “Why do you assume it’s about Evan?” It is but—

Jared laughs. “Dude, we aren’t friends. The only reason you talk to me is because of Evan. What’s up?”

Connor blinks. He’s just gotten so used to having Jared constantly around that it’s like they’re basically friends. But not. Because Connor doesn’t have any real friends.

“I,” Connor clears his throat, “my family now thinks Evan and I are dating.”

There’s a long pause. Connor waits for Jared to start cackling, but Jared just whispers, “Holy shit.”

“Say whatever shit you want to now,” Connor mutters. “Get it out.”

“Holy shit,” Jared repeats. Connor rolls his eyes. “Murphy, what the fuck.”

“Yeah, I know, I fucked up.”

“What are you going to do?” Jared sounds almost amazed.

Connor frowns at the phone. This is not how he thought this conversation would go. “Pay Evan two hundred dollars? I know you meant that as a joke but—”

“Fucking shit, my dude. What the hell!”

Connor drags his hand through his hair. “Kleinman, my mom started crying when I said Evan was my boyfriend, okay? I can’t— fuck. I don’t know.”

Jared whistles.

Connor picks at his nailpolish. “Would Evan…go along with it? Do you think?”

“I think that’s a question for Evan.”

“I’m asking you.”

Jared snorts. “Okay, fine. I think he’ll go along with it.” It almost feels like Jared is going to say something more, but he doesn’t. “You got two hundred bucks lying around?”

“No,” Connor admits. He has an idea. It’s a terrible idea that could backfire, but it’s an idea.

“So…how are you going to get it?” Jared gasps. “Oh shit! Are we going to rob a bank?”

Connor frowns. “No? Why is that the first thing you came up with? Why would you rob a bank for two hundred dollars? Wouldn’t fucking…normal robbery be easier?”

“Fuck off. Are we doing that?”

“No.”

“Well we both know you’re not getting a job—”

“Fuck you.”

“—and that would probably take too long. Are we going to sell weed?”

“What? No,” Connor says. “Also how long did you restrain yourself before asking that?”

“Too long for that boring answer and reaction,” Jared admits. “Give me something to work with, stoner kid. We could just steal it. I know you said no, but—”

“Jared what the fuck,” Connor interrupts.

“Dude, you aren’t offering any ideas here, I’m just trying to help out.”

Connor rubs the bridge of his nose. “Fucking— do you know how PayPal works?”

“Yeah sure,” Jared says. “Super easy, why?”

Connor sighs. “Would you be willing to help me set one up?”

“Ten bucks.”

“Fine.”

“Yeah sure, you wanted some help on calc anyway. Do you have info on your bank account, by the way?”

“I…can find it,” Connor says slowly. “Does tomorrow work? My house?”

“Yeah sure, my man. Shoot me an address and a time. I expect snacks.”

Jared shows up on the doorstep ten minutes earlier than Connor expected with his backpack slung over one shoulder and a Starbucks drink in his left hand. “Sup.”

Connor rolls his eyes. “You’re early.”

“Fashionably.”

“That’s not how it works.”

“Whatever.”

Zoe leans out of the dining room. “Who’s here?”

Connor steps aside to let Jared in. Jared waves at Zoe.

Zoe squints. “What are you doing here?”

“So nice to see you again too, Smaller Murphy,” Jared says. He kicks his shoes off and puts them next to Zoe’s converse.

“Calc,” Connor says. “I’m…not doing great.”

“But you aren’t failing yet,” Jared says. “So we’re just going to keep you from not doing that. What are you learning again?”

Connor shrugs. “Something implicit. I’ll show you the homework.”

Jared nods. “Chill, chill.”

“Aren’t you friends with Alana?” Zoe asks.

“I…guess?” Connor frowns. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“She’s the valedictorian, isn’t she? Why didn’t you ask her for help?”

“Uh…” Connor looks to Jared.

Jared takes a sip of his drink. “I’m genuinely offended, by the way. I’m no Alana Beck but I am passing AP Calc BC, which is more than you can say for seventy percent of our class. Don’t take it.”

“I wasn’t planning on it,” Zoe assures him. “Just didn’t tutoring was your…thing.”

“Alana tutors,” Jared says.

“I know, that’s my point.”

“Ha ha very funny. She tutors a lot of people so it makes sense that I take someone off her workload.” Jared points to Connor. “As her friend, Connor understands.”

“Right.” Connor nods. “That.”

Zoe rolls her eyes. “I wasn’t judging you or anything I was just wondering. Have fun. Don’t set the house on fire, I’m going over Pippa’s to work on our history project, and Mom and Dad are out shopping or something.”

“I’ll keep Jared away from anything breakable,” Connor promises.

“I remind you I’m doing you a favor,” Jared says.

“You’re making me pay you.”

“Shit you’re right.”

—«·»—

“This is easy shit,” Jared says, looking up from Connor’s textbooks. “Really easy.”

Connor flips him off.

“I’ll explain it!” Jared promises. “This makes my job easier, probably. So back to real reason I’m here—”

“You are here to help me with math.” Connor reaches for his laptop. “I’m going to open commissions.”

Jared stares at him with a blank expression.

“Commissions,” Connor repeats slowly.

Jared blinks. “Since when do you draw?”

“Do you actually know anything about me?” Connor asks.

Jared looks away. “Valid. How can I help?”

“Mostly just need help with PayPal. And maybe wording the post? I don’t know shit about talking to people.” Connor opens his laptop and logs in. He closes a few tabs and opens up tumblr. He hesitates and then opens his blog. “Here.”

“Your theme is awful,” Jared says flatly.

“Did I ask you?”

“Didn’t have to.” Jared clicks a few times. “Dude, if you want to be selling your art, you need a theme that isn’t painful to look at.” Connor opens his mouth to protest, but Jared holds up a hand. “I’m doing you a favor here. Give me like ten minutes. I will change your world.”

“I’m not asking you to.”

Jared pushes away in the desk chair. “Too late, I’m not helping if we don’t change this ugly ass theme. Doodle or something while I do this. Make a commissions banner, I don’t fucking know.” Jared hunches over the laptop and starts typing.

Connor stares at him. Hopefully Jared isn’t going to charge him for this too.

Forty minutes later, Connor is putting aside a random drawing and Jared is looking up from the laptop.

“Bam, motherfucker,” Jared announces spinning the laptop around. “A picture heavy theme with easy navigation, readable text, and colors that don’t make me want to stab my eyes out.” Connor leans forward to see it. It actually looks pretty decent. And pretty professional. Jared has also added a few links, including one to Connor’s still nonexistent PayPal and a commissions page. “By the way, your art is pretty rad.”

Connor blinks. “Thanks. Did you want that bank account information?”

“Yeah sure.”

Connor gets up from the floor. “Let’s break into my dad’s office.”

Jared sets aside the laptop. “Sweet.”

—«·»—

Connor sits down in the chair in Larry’s office. He pulls open one of the lower drawers in the desk and flips through the the hanging folders until he finds one with his name.

“Don’t steal my identity or anything,” he says to Jared as he hands him one of the folders. “But see if anything in there is what you need.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Jared starts flipping through the papers. “Your identity is too lame to steal.”

“Thanks.”

Connor skims over various forms and papers with his name all over them. So weird that he’s attached to all of these things but doesn’t understand any of them. That might be concerning. Is he supposed to know what these mean? He squints at something that looks like it has something to do with money.

“I can’t believe you’re going through with this,” Jared mutters.

Connor looks up. “With?”

“This fake dating shit.” Jared puts a stack of papers down on the desk. “I thought this was convoluted before.”

“You helped.”

“So you two keep reminding me.” Jared flips a piece of paper over. “I think this is it.”

“Cool.” Connor puts his folder away and Jared puts Connor’s laptop on the desk. Connor fills out what he can and Jared helps with the rest.

“And you have a PayPal,” Jared announces, finishing the form. “If you click this you can transfer money to your bank account, which is how you’ll get the money off the internet and into Evan’s hands.”

Connor nods. “Makes sense.” He grabs the papers and puts them back into the folder. He puts it back in the bottom drawer and makes sure everything is just how Larry left it before he gets up from the chair.

“I genuinely didn’t think either of you would get invested in this shit,” Jared says as they stop in the kitchen to grab a bag of chips.

Connor shrugged. “I fucked up, that doesn’t mean anything.”

Jared gives him a flat look before biting into a chip. “Let’s just finish this shit so I can teach you how implicit differentiation works.”

Connor wrinkles his nose. “Fine.”

They bring the bag of chips up to Connor’s bedroom and sit on the floor with Connor’s laptop in front of them. Between handfuls of chips, Jared sentences to the post.

“We can’t call it ‘I’m Gay Give Me Money’,” Connor protests.

“Why not?” Jared asks. “It’s tumblr.”

“What’s your point?”

Jared pulls the laptop closer and starts typing. “We just say like… ‘I’m trying to meet my boyfriend’, we stay vague on the details no one wants to know the complexity of this shit and also it’s weird as fuck, ‘so I’m opening commissions’. Blah blah blah here are details…” Jared looks up at Connor. “Any suggestions for prices?”

Connor shrugs.

“You are the least helpful person,” Jared mutters. “Okay…going on what I saw on your blog…” He types rapidly for a few minutes. “And posted.”

“What?!” Connor grabs the laptop from Jared. “Why did you do that?!”

“You weren’t going to have anything to say so fuck it, it’s posted.” Jared pops another chip in his mouth. “Chill the fuck out.”

Connor reloads the page to check the post. He doesn’t have any idea if the prices are reasonable, but Jared put up Connor’s email and a link to his PayPal and tagged the post with a few tags that make sense and a few that don’t.

Connor groans. “If you fucked this up for me—”

“I didn’t,” Jared says. “I am doing you so many solids right now. And now I’m about to try to teach you calculus. I am literally a god.”

Connor resists the urge to slam his head against the keyboard.

#connor murphy #evan hansen #convan #tree bros #deh fanfic #my fics #to have a friend #hi im dy ign

78 notes · View notes