Great, you spent years fighting for your appointments, now you got them. Except the hospital you have to go to is 20 miles away, a 1hr 45 minute train and bus journey, a 25 minute car ride.
Twenty miles really isn't that far. 1hr 45 minutes travel time isn't that bad for the journey. A 25 minute drive is pretty easygoing. For someone who isn't ill that is.
I'm not allowed to drive for a start, it is illegal because of seizures, I had to return my license and until I'm seizure free for at least 12 months, maybe then I can have it back.
Someone like me, cannot manage 1hr 45 minutes on a train and a bus. Sitting up for 30 minutes, is too much for me. Like my body, is physically not capable of sitting up like that. You're generally not allowed to lie down on the floor of a moving bus or train.
Walking between the stops, to catch my next leg of the journey, is not possible. It will take me 3 times longer than an abled person. I will have to stop, every few steps. I will be in pain & out of breath, exhausted. My legs will end up turning into jelly, will bend like rubber and completely collapse underneath me.
You know that big step up there always is, between the train platform, the gap and the train? Yeah I can't do that anymore. It's too high. You think they roll out the ramp for little me? Ha!
So say I walked all that way, I caught the bus somehow, I walked again and I managed to somehow get on the train. I get off at my destination and I have to walk again, for '16 minutes.' times that by 2 or 3 and we're looking at 30 to 50 minutes.
I'm at the hospital. I'm in tears. I'm on the verge of passing out. My body is d o n e. [I could collapse in a heap and they will just say I'm dehydrated]
I go through the appointment as arranged. (Hooray?) I spent all this time waiting and finally it's happened. I hope it reveals answers this time. I hope it provides some insight into my physical and mental states. I feel hope.
But now I have to get home..
[you bet your a$$ I'm getting a taxi/lift and will be lay strapped across the backseats like a creepy little car goblin, another costly expense (£65 return journey compared to £12 public transport), a kind of disability tax, for being f***ing ILL]
frankieromustdie:der frends, tomorrow marks 4 years since the Future Violents and I put out our record “Barriers”. Thank you to everyone that’s taken the time to listen or attend a show over these past few years. I can’t believe 4 years have passed already! Thank you @fcald and everyone at @unfdcentral for always being supportive and amazing. And thank you to @tuckerrule @kayleighgolds @tipgiblets and @thesituationist for being such incredible friends, musicians, and bandmates.
To commemorate this anniversary we are releasing a limited run of merch that will drop tomorrow May 31st at 9am PST/12pm EST.
link in my bio.
or
http://unfdstore.com/frankiero
KTF 🖤 xofrnk
The first picture is from week one, it is a brainstorm of ideas me and my peer group 36B did.
The second picture is a play on the barrier idea I am investigating. I folded up a sheet of paper and drew on it, to resemble the spire of the cathedral, and purposely put it behind the brainstorm sheet.
This idea then sparked an even bigger and better idea.
I brought in some objects from home, a bed sheet, a box and I had found some horse chestnut spikey outer layers previously while walking around the area of the cathedral the week before. I placed these in front of the brainstorm, to act as a barrier to being able to get close to it.
This has now led to what I am currently doing, which can be seen in the video and the last picture.
My lecturer Eoin McCormack helped me hang up the bed sheet on a wall and I decided to use charcoals and pastels to draw on it.I used my drawings and pictures taken of the cathedral from the previous week and put them up too.
This is the start of a collage which I'm really excited to dive into and create.
I am also researching the work of Grayson Perry, as I feel his work is a good influence for me and also similar to what I want to explore.
"Then Home was again Frank’s verses and my chorus lyrics. But let me tell you, I believe that is the most personal song he has ever written, if you knew his whole situation that song was his story at 19."
Neil Sabatino (Pencey Prep) Interview
Pencey Prep - “Home”
We live on a thumbnail
With no better charm
Smiles echo in my memory
Picture perfect anniversary
Nineteen years
Full of regrets
Your excuses bore me
It's not my fault I have my fathers eyes
The cradle rocks
The ground breaks beneath me as I fall
You're looking thin
Cuz you stopped giving
Look what I've done, I've done
I've done without you
Things will never be the same
I can't walk away
From who I am
I wont denounce my name
I've done all I can, all I can
No way home, no way home
Things will never be the same
I can't walk away
From who I am
I won't denounce my name
I've done all I can, all I can
Just wanted to share this bit that really made me think. It connects with "Ode To Destruction" from Barriers.