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#barbie reenactments
chaneajoyyy · 7 months
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🤭🤭
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apogean-tides · 8 months
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Had an absolute fever dream of Runaan entering a treasure trove with a magical being congratulating him for his feats of bravery and allowing him to pick any item as a consolation prize.
Cue Runaan walking past mountains of gold and covetous riches to grab at a handful of dirty rocks at the caves edge and asking: "Can I take these? My husband has been trying to incorporate different minerals into his work lately and I think he'd just adore these!"
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asocial-skye · 9 months
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not to burst anyone's fucking bubble, but people really need to understand that the barbie movie is a fucking toy advert, and NOT a way to 'prove' that the doll was a feminist icon that was misunderstood. barbie did serious fucking damage to children's psyche and promoted unhealthy habits.
i love that movie, and i love it more for irritating right wing incels, but mattel produced this movie and you should take the message with at least a grain of salt.
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chaoticgoodcaptain · 10 months
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1) take a day off at work (checked)
2) buy one 70 mm imax oppenheimer ticket in a city 100 km (approx. 62 miles) away from your home (checked)
3) travel there while it's stunning 33 °C (91 °F) outside with no idea if you're gonna be able to watch barbie on the same day (planned, conditions: you're sleep deprived and dehydrated)
4) be prepared, the only screening of barbie that day that works for you is in czech dub (chaotic moments and cringe to be expected)
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born-to-lose · 9 months
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2 3 17 18 21 24 25 !!!!! 🍻💞🫂
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werewolfpdfs · 9 months
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barbie isn’t a feminist or misogynistic she’s a plastic toy
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killingick · 2 years
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Reenacting / Screaming this in your room is so cathartic
Especially that final DIEEEEEEEEEE 💀💀💀
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clubkira · 5 months
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okay but!! childhood friends to lovers shoyo where whenever the two of u wld play house at school, he’d always insist that u two get to be mom and dad… he thinks uve forgotten it once u get too old for playground games but its always been his dream to marry his childhood sweetheart n actually make his puppy crush reenactments a reality…
ANON HOLY SHIT I LOVE YOU RN FOR THIS… I ACTUALLY SOBBED HAPPY TEARS JUST READING THIS I’M SUCH A SUCKER FOR CHILDHOOD FRIENDS TO LOVERS… AND WITH SHOYO? PASSES OUT AND DIES!!!
and i wrote a lil blurb abt this:3
content. jealous and puppy lovesick shoyo <3 childhood crushes and established relationship (in highschool). timeskip takes place third year of hs. lowercase intended. not proofread bcs self indulgent and i’m writing this as i go hehe I WANT TO TURN THIS INTO AN ACTUAL FIC
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“nooo,” shoyo whines loudly, pulling the little barbie doll out of your classmate’s tiny hands, “i want y/n to be the mommy!”
she whimpers when he rips the toy away from her, tears prickling at the corners of her eyes, “but you always let her be the mom though, i want to play too!”
shoyo looks around the toy bins nearby and picks up a dog toy halfheartedly before handing it to her dully, “here, you can be our doggie.”
“that’s not fair!! i’m not a doggie!”
“but me and y/n are the mom and dad!!”
in between them sits you, sitting cross legged on the floor while pretending to cook a dinner for your dysfunctional family as the kindergarten teacher begins to seperate the two bickering kids to your sides. the plastic toy eggs are starting to burn by the time she realizes your two friends are fighting.
“aya, shoyo! stop fighting!”
shoyo refuses to let go of the barbie regardless of how much your teacher pleads with him to let aya have a turn, and when she scolds him he huffs, plopping down beside you angrily after tossing the doll away to aya’s feet.
he looks so upset, normally shining eyes now downturned and staring at the carpet floor. you turn off the little kitchen playset’s stove and wrap your arms around him in a hug, his fluffy hair tickles through your sweater.
“we can still play house, sho,” you comfort him to the best of your four year old abilities, “i can be the doggie this time so aya can be mommy and daddy with you!”
“but i don’t want her to be the mom..” shoyo pouts, leaning into your touch. “i want you.”
his stubbornness isn’t anything unusual for a kid his age, but shoyo’s always been very insistent on playing house with you and never letting your other classmates join. and if they did they were only ever miscellaneous side characters such as a couch or various pets.
“hey, y/n..” shoyo brings one of your hands into his, looking up at you with a hopefull look in his eyes, “we should just get married when we’re older, so we can always be mommy and daddy when playing house.”
you smile, not noticing the way shoyo’s cheeks flush when you hug him closer. “of course, sho! that sounds so fun!”
a little hesitant, shoyo’s stiff posture slowly relaxes once again, returning with a bright grin of his own to match yours. “yeah!”
that was years ago; and now you’re both in highschool, where you and shoyo’s old toys you’d use to play house with have now been replaced for videogame consoles and volleyballs strewn across his room whilst laying atop his bed in his chest, using his remote to scroll through the channels on his t.v.
it’s comfortable, just as it’s always been between you and shoyo.
“hey, y/n” shoyo mutters into the crook of your shoulder, his hands wrapped loosely around your waist tighten a little. “do you remember back in kindergarten when i said i’d marry you so we can always play house?”
“mmm,” you hum, still absentmindedly flipping through the different channels (mainly comprising of volleyball and sports, because it’s shoyo’s t.v of course) “yeah, why?”
“oh, you do?” he sounds surprised, shifting to sit up in bed and pulling you in with him, “i sort of figured you’d forget all that.”
“well, when my best friend keeps fighting with our classmates over playing house with me everyday how can i forget?” you chuckle, letting a comfortable silence overtakes the room once again but this time it seems a little different.
normally shoyo would’ve responded with a teasing quip of his own, but no such thing comes.
you turn around, tearing your eyes away from a volleyball highlights reel to notice shoyo’s downcast eyes, leaning back into his plush pillows and staring at the ground beneath his bed.
“sho?”
he gulps unsurely, still adverting his gaze. “just uh, forget i said that.”
that response definitely makes you suspicious, coming from shoyo who wears his emotions on the sleeve of his shirt. your boyfriend, who is never afraid to say what’s on his mind now seems hesitant.
“what is it, sho?” you ask softly, bringing a hand to his cheek to turn him towards you, “you can tell me anything, sho.”
shoyo eyes soften when seeing your concerned features; and like from when he was a child he leans into your touch once more, the only difference being your childhood friend turned boyfriend is all grown up now, and realizes the implications of what his words really mean now.
with a gentle kiss to your palms, shoyo brings you in closer by the waist, placing your head right above his chest, allowing you to hear his quickening heartbeat.
“… what if i said i was serious about marrying you?”
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© property of shoyostar / thomae 2023. all rights reserved.
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babybluebex · 1 month
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ughhhh boyf dom is my fav!! I know I mentioned this in the vacay ask but he will always take pics of you!! Candids always, all day every day, but also if you ever want to take pictures for instagram or anything like that he’ll double as your photographer and number one hype man. And those cute couple TikTok fit checks omg just imagine everyone going crazy over the two of you like not even fans but just everyone hyping you up in the comments (she’s everything, he’s just Ken vibes lmao) anyway this is going to be my daydream for forever and a half now (also I hope you have a great time at your show tonight!!!)
ugh i love the thought of hype man boyf dominic, he loves awards season bc you're always dressed up and look so stunning, he can't stop himself from snapping pics of you at all times, no matter what you're doing
and if you ask for posed pictures to post, he's being serious about it, telling you how to turn your head and where to place your hand, and if the lighting isn't good in the place you chose, he'll move you to the side until you reach the good lighting, and he's doing that dorky Thing "work it, girl! yes ma'am, you're slaying it!" and it makes you laugh so hard
and as far as the tiktok fit checks go, he'll crash yours all the time, you're just trying to show off the sundress you thrifted and he stands in the back of the frame eating a sandwich and sweetly heckling you the whole time "who's this smokeshow here? damn girl, you look fire" and omg the whole meme about like "pookie's looking incredible today", dom EATS THAT UP and jokes about it all the time, you're doing a fit check for the baftas and he comes into the video "pookie looks amazing as usual, wearing... balenciaga, right?" and you nod "i like this on you... a quintessential pookie outfit"
i can see like for halloween, you and dom went to one of your friend's parties as western barbie and ken, and back when you posted the video of you two lipsyncing the "take a walk or something!" scene, nobody really knew who dom was, and people find the video after ryan does "I'm Just Ken" at the oscars and you make dom reenact it on the street in philly and the comments are all "IS THAT DOMINIC SESSA???!!!" and your friends comment "100k views on tiktok, she's an influencer"
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amournoir · 4 months
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Hey girl! I love your oneshots and I thought about this oneshot (klaus m. x reader) where she's Hope's mother and a part of the family, also married to Nik. Hope is eleven and they all go watch the Barbie movie (2023) and mother and daughter force them to get into character, like wearing pink, singing the songs, and etc. Rebekah is a big fan too! Thanks for reading this, even if you don't take the request.
pairing(s): f!reader x klaus, f!reader x hope, klaus x hope
count: 1.3k
warning(s): absolute fluff
author’s note: thanks for this request! it was actually fun to write! ☺️
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Barbie Fiasco
In the Mikaelson mansion, amidst the opulent decor and timeless elegance, a rare moment of familial unity unfolded. Hope, the precocious and imaginative 11-year-old daughter, had managed the seemingly impossible task of convincing both Y/N, her doting mother, and Klaus, her imposing yet doting father, to join her in watching the latest Barbie movie.
The grand room, usually reserved for solemn meetings or strategic discussions, now transformed into a cozy theater for the Mikaelson family. Hope nestled between her parents, excitement radiating from her as she clutched a bowl of popcorn, her eyes fixed on the colorful world of princesses and magical adventures.
As the movie played out its whimsical tale, laughter and joy filled the room. Y/N couldn’t help but smile at Hope’s infectious enthusiasm, occasionally stealing glances at Klaus, who, despite his stoic nature, couldn’t hide the softness in his eyes while watching their daughter’s delight.
As the movie ended, it left the Mikaelson trio enveloped in a cloud of contentment. It was a precious moment—bonding over something as simple yet enchanting as a Barbie movie. The shared experience forged a new memory, etched in the hearts of a family often consumed by the complexities of their supernatural existence. Hope’s fascination with the Barbie movie didn’t wane after the credits rolled. In fact, it ignited an unexpected whirlwind of enthusiasm within her. The moment the movie ended, she turned to her parents, her eyes sparkling with excitement.
“Mom, Dad, that was amazing! Can we please reenact the scenes?” Hope pleaded, her enthusiasm infectious.
Y/N exchanged a glance with Klaus, both equally amused and intrigued by their daughter’s request. “Well, darling, how about we watch the movie again tomorrow?” Y/N suggested.
But Hope was adamant. “No, Mom! We have to do it now while it’s still fresh!” she insisted, her eagerness bubbling over.
Klaus, the formidable patriarch of the Mikaelson family, took one look at his daughter’s animated face and couldn’t resist her fervor. “What do you have in mind, little one?” he asked, a hint of amusement in his voice.
Hope’s eyes widened, a mischievous glint dancing in them. “We need costumes and you two have to get into character! Pink dresses, crowns, and singing the songs!”
Y/N stifled a laugh, watching her husband’s skeptical expression. Klaus, known for his stoic demeanor, was about to embark on an unexpected adventure into the whimsical world of Barbie. The absurdity of the idea didn’t escape Y/N, yet she found herself intrigued by the prospect of seeing Klaus in a completely different light. Hope’s pleading eyes and infectious excitement eventually won them over. With a shared glance and a shared smile, Y/N and Klaus agreed, promising to indulge Hope’s fantasy of a Barbie-inspired family playtime.
The next day, Hope’s excitement knew no bounds. She rummaged through her mother’s extensive wardrobe, pulling out every pink garment she could find. Y/N, amused by her daughter’s fervor, assisted in selecting the most vibrant and outlandish ensembles for the upcoming playtime. Klaus, however, approached the situation with cautious skepticism. He observed the flurry of activity, a mixture of bemusement and reluctance etched across his features. Hope bounced around the room, sorting through costumes, determined to transform her family into the characters from her newfound beloved movie.
“Alright, darling, we’re ready,” Y/N announced, donning a flowy pink dress, an ornate crown perched atop her head, looking every bit the part of a fairytale princess.
Klaus, on the other hand, stood there in his traditional attire, a raised eyebrow his only response to the extravagant display. “I hardly see the point of this,” he grumbled, though a hint of amusement danced in his eyes.
Hope’s face lit up with sheer joy, her enthusiasm contagious. “Dad, you have to get into character! Wear pink, smile wide, stand on your tippy toes— be a Barbie!”
With an exasperated sigh, her father relented, stepping out in the most absurdly pink outfit he could find within his and his wife’s wardrobe. He wore his wife’s pink leggings that were far too tight on him, they rode up halfway to his legs and a pink fluffy glitter coated skirt sat around his waist. He couldn’t find a shirt so he settled for a white one with pink lettering ‘be true to you’, a shirt Y/N and Hope had worn to a mommy and me brunch. To top it all off, a large makeshift pink crown with black dots —presumably the diamonds— sat on his head with a pair of pink and white striped fuzzy socks. The contrast between his stoic nature and the flamboyant attire was enough to send Y/N into fits of suppressed laughter.
Yet, to Y/N’s surprise, the feared original hybrid embraced the absurdity of the moment. He sang along with exaggerated dramatic flair, mimicking the characters from the movie to appease his daughter’s whims. Y/N watched, thoroughly entertained, as Klaus fully committed to the role, an unexpected and endearing sight. Their living room transformed into a scene straight out of a fantastical fairytale, the family was fully immersing themselves and channeling their inner Barbie, much to the amusement and delight of Hope.
Unbeknownst to the trio, their impromptu Barbie-inspired playtime hadn’t gone unnoticed within the household. Rebekah, intrigued by the sounds of laughter and frivolity emanating from the usually stoic corridors, decided to investigate. She stealthily made her way towards the source of the commotion, her curiosity piqued by the unusual sight that awaited her. As she peered into the room, her eyes widened in sheer delight at the spectacle unfolding before her.
Rebekah couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight of her brother, adorned in the most ludicrous pink ensemble, wholeheartedly participating in Hope’s fantastical world. Y/N, equally engrossed in the play, radiated joy, her laughter filling the room. Her phone in hand, Rebekah captured the heartwarming scene, documenting the unexpected and endearing sight of her formidable brother embracing the fantasy. She couldn’t resist joining in, eager to partake in the familial revelry.
“Rebekah!” Klaus shouted, momentarily breaking character as he noticed his sister’s presence.
Rebekah simply grinned, snapping pictures and recording videos of the unusual but heartwarming family moment. Her laughter and participation added to the joyful atmosphere, turning the family playtime into an unforgettable event that would be remembered and teased about for days to come.
Days turned into weeks, and the delightful Barbie-themed family playtime had left a lasting impression on the Mikaelson household. While the memory lingered as a cherished moment for Y/N, Hope, and even Rebekah, it became a source of endless amusement for Kol.
He seized upon every opportunity to tease Klaus about his unexpected Barbie impersonation. He found endless delight in poking fun at his brother, exploiting every chance to jest about Klaus’s unexpected venture into the world of princesses and magical adventures.
Every encounter with Klaus was an opportunity for Kol to craft witty remarks and humorous anecdotes about Klaus’s ‘Barbie persona’. His sly comments echoed through the halls of the mansion, earning a chuckle from anyone within earshot.
“Ah, brother, who knew you had a penchant for pink?” Kol teased, a smirk playing on his lips as Klaus rolled his eyes in mock annoyance.
Despite Klaus’s attempts to dismiss Kol’s jests, the teasing persisted, the memory of Klaus’s reluctant yet endearing portrayal of a Barbie character becoming a running joke among the siblings. Though slightly irked by Kol’s incessant teasing, Klaus found a sense of amusement in the situation. The unexpected turn of events had brought about a lightheartedness within the family, a break from the usual brooding nature of their existence.
The Barbie movie fiasco, as it came to be fondly known, remained a cherished memory for the Mikaelson family, a moment of lightheartedness and laughter amidst their timeless legacy of darkness and drama. And despite Kol’s relentless teasing, Klaus secretly cherished the memory, finding solace in the familial bond that transcended even the most absurd and unexpected moments.
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🏷️ taglist:
⤷ @catmikaelson20 @elijahmikaelsontrash @hopes-wife @klaustopia @klausysworld @loverswillowed @moremaybank @miasmultifandomdump @mrs-maximoff-kenner @multiversediaries @mxacegrey @original-siphon @onlyfreds @panic-at-the-fiction @ranising @slinthoex @spike-and-angels-gf @spnandtvdudeservedbetter @thatfanficstuff @thatfictionalwh0re @wholoveseggs
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ash5monster01 · 7 days
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Dead Poets Society and what their favorite 80s movies would be
including my reasons for why :))
Neil Perry / Indiana Jones
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Neil would watch this movie and all he would take away from it was another cool teacher that not only knows his shit but goes on awesome adventures and he’d dream of being him
Todd Anderson / Gremlins
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Todd would not only relate to the uniqueness of the main character but he too would also be the only person capable of befriending a random animal while also unintentionally starting a rabid attack against his town
Charlie Dalton / Roadhouse
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Charlie would WORSHIP Patrick Swayze, literally kiss the ground he walked on. Not only that but he would adore his tough and take no shit personality and dream of getting to hit people and not get in trouble for it
Knox Overstreet / Can’t Buy Me Love
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Knox ever the romantic would look at poor dorky Ronald who is falling over his feet to help a girl he barely knows and relate to the character completely. He doesn’t care if it’s a chick flick, he watches it any chance he gets
Steven Meeks / Weird Science
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a movie about two super smart guys scientifically creating their dream women from a barbie doll. He’d grab Pitts and go ‘when do we start?’ (side note a Meeks and Pitts Weird Science AU, obsessed already)
Richard Cameron / Top Gun
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You cannot convince me otherwise that Cameron would be a war buff. History through and through and respect to any form of service a man can do. He would watch Top Gun and wish that was him. He would also partake in war reenactments but that’s a whole other story.
Gerard Pitts / Footloose
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This man wants to dance and Ren Mccormick would be his idol. Pitts also dreams of being the sole hero to bring music and dance back to his small town and bagging the prettiest girl in school.
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cowgurrrl · 4 months
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okay, so! this relates to the "one for the money, two for the show" series (which is BEAUTIFULLY written btw) but: could you imagine reader hosting SNL while the musical guest is her own husband, joel miller?! iconic if you ask me.
(bonus! the little promos they do for SNL! imagine that but with those two and in-between, they just keep giving each other heart eyes! UGH, i love it personally)
Thank you for this request and your sweet words!! I hope you like this 🥺
Live from New York
Pairing: rockstar!joel miller x actress!reader
Summary: this ask
Warnings: fluff, not edited
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You can’t stop laughing when Joel tells you the news. He thinks you’re insane but you think he’s equally as insane. It isn’t until Violet curiously pass into the room do you get yourself under control. “Did they ask you to do this before or after they asked me?” You question and he shrugs with a guilty look on his face.
“Guess we’ll never know.” He says as he walks over to kiss your cheek, wrapping an arm around your waist and turning to look at your daughter. “Vi Chai, you wanna go to New York?”
The day SNL announces you as the host and Joel as the musical guest, poppy news sources and other celebrities start reposting the image with varying reactions. They’re mostly positive and only add a little bit of extra pressure to the already stressful week ahead. All five of the Miller children, including spouses and grandchildren, join you in New York and you spend the week bouncing between rehearsals, family dinners, and play dates with the kids. On the day of shooting bumper pictures, Joel and his band mess around with different props and poses and you get to watch them work and laugh together. Watching them achieve success as a band has been one of your favorite parts of being married to Joel. That and all your cute kids, you guess.
When it’s time to switch, you take several individual pictures in different costumes and poses, moving every time the photographer tells you to. You catch Joel laughing in the corner when you’re taking a particularly ridiculous one where you’re reenacting a very dramatic scenario Violet and Sophia came up with while playing with Barbies and you can’t stop yourself from laughing too. “You’re distracting!” You yell and he shakes his head, a wide smile splitting his face.
“I didn’t even say anythin’!” He says and throws his hands up.
“I can hear you laughing!”
“God forbid I think my wife is funny.”
“Shut up.” You roll your eyes and he laughs.
“Yes, dear.”
“Did you guys want to take some together? Since you’re the first married couple doing something like this.” The photographer asks and you raise your eyebrows at him. He shrugs and makes his way back to the mark in front of the camera. Together, you guys pick various poses— some dramatic and some funny, like the ones of you guys showing off your wedding bands— and play off of each other in a way you haven’t gotten to do since he worked on the soundtrack for one of your movies. You make good work individually but when you’re together, it’s magic.
Your favorite and the one that ends up splattered all across social media is taken when you thought the cameras were off and you were wrapped in Joel’s arms. You must’ve told him a joke or a funny story from set or something because he’s throwing his head back, eyes crinkled shut in laughter, but your focus is on him. You’re both smiling, close, and impossibly happy. When the picture gets posted the day of the show, Carolina texts you a screenshot of it with the message, “you guys are so sweet it’s SICK.”
You spend a majority of the day running from sketch to sketch in a final run through while the band and Joel entertained the little kids and you switched off when it was their turn to rehearse. It’s an awkward system but with the older girls and their spouses there, it’s not too hard. By the time the cold open starts, you’re more than ready and drumming on Joel’s chest backstage to get your nerves out.
“You’re gonna be fine.” Joel says but doesn’t interrupt your nervous fidgeting.
“I know.” You say, making him laugh. He kisses you for good luck before scurrying away and letting you do your opening monologue. Sarah and Ellie whistle loudly the second they see you on stage and you blow kisses to them. You run through the rehearsed jokes, talk about how cool it is to have this opportunity, and promote your newest project easily. It feels good to be in front of a live audience and get real time feedback to what you’re doing. You love it even more because you think you can hear Sammy loudly chattering away about his Mommy.
“Now, this isn’t my first time hosting Saturday Night Live but it is my first time hosting it while I’m not pregnant with twins,” you say and cheers erupt from the crowd. “But those twins and my three other children are in the audience tonight so this is going to be a very, very special show.”
“Wait, wait, wait,” Joel says, hitting his mark beside you perfectly to even more cheering. It takes about twenty seconds for the audience to die down, it’s that exciting. “That’s the only reason this a special show?”
“I mean, I think we may be the first married couple to be the host and musical guest on SNL.” You say, glancing between him and the camera, as more cheering erupts around you. Together, you make jokes about your unconventional family structure, fame, marriage, and more before transitioning into the next sketch.
You spend a majority of the night running around like a psychotic person but one of your two favorite parts of the night comes when you get to introduce Joel to the world. You stand a little ways away from the stage and face a camera in a zip-up hoodie and a stupid smile plastered to your face.
“Ladies and gentleman, the love of my life, Joel Miller!” You announce and the audience cheers as the camera pans over to him and the band. Joel winks at you before falling into sync with the rest of the band and you get to watch him do what he does best.
Your second favorite part comes when Joel gets to make full usage of his Valley Girl voice for a sketch. He’s high-pitched and elongated his vowels perfectly as he bobs his head around in a wig. Your character is supposed to be having brunch with him and the rest of the band but you keep almost breaking every time one of them does something. Joel thinks it’s hilarious and the hysteria quickly spreads to the rest of the table. The sketch is unsavable the second Ryan comes up to the table as a guest in a blonde wig and identical Valley accent.
The night goes off without a hitch and at the end, with makeup smeared across your face and your body screaming at you to take a break, Ellie, Sarah, Ryan, and Carolina join you on stage as you thank everyone and end the show. Joel is hugging you and spinning you around before you can even fully finish your spiel but you don’t mind. You’re both exhausted and happy and so full of love. You couldn’t imagine doing this life with anyone but him and things like this only solidify that.
That and the fact that even after being together for so long and getting older together, he stills has the strength to carry you home drunk after the after party.
TAGLIST: @abbyhaslongshorts @kiwiharrykiwi @sumsworldz @myloveistoolittle @anavatazes @marantha @cosmoscoffeee @shyminnie07 @beezusvreeland @eddiemunsonsbedroom @harriedandharassed @doodlebob-mp3
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Err on The Side of Awesome
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(Not my gif)
Kol Mikaelson's Daughter Headcanons
Requested by: @katherinereilly19
Here lies my Masterlist
You were adopted by Kol and Davina Claire-Mikaelson at age six from a Catholic orphanage run by nuns who all thought you were some sort of demon child.
See, like your adopted father, you were a witch and had come into your power rather early. Davina had been sensing some odd power flares in the area and, when she and Kol had gone to investigate, there you were - a sweet, little bundle of mischief with more power than you knew what to do with.
To say that you had Kol wrapped around your little finger from the first second he saw you would be no exaggeration. Seriously. 
Kol had never thought himself fit to be a husband, let alone a parent. It still baffles him some days that Davina agreed to marry him - most days in fact - it just seemed too good to be true. They traveled the world for a while and then… Well, Davina, she…
She said she wanted kids.
She didn't say that she used to want kids or that she would have wanted them had she married someone else. Davina said she wanted to be a mom. With him. She said she wanted to have a kid with him and she wanted Kol to be that kid's dad.
At first, he almost thought it was a joke. Who in their right mind would trust him with a child? But no, Davina was serious. 
And it terrified him.
Kol is well aware of just how miserably his parents screwed up their job and he's pretty sure he couldn't do any worse but that doesn't mean he'd do well.
But the guy took just one look at you and he knew without a doubt that there was no alternative realm, no obscure future, and no minuscule probability in which he could cause you any harm.
For the first little while, you were convinced (thanks to the nuns) that you would have to be an absolute angel of a child in order to be wanted by your new parents. You helped clean things, refrain from using your magic, made your bed, brushed your teeth, and never asked for anything.
Three months in, you dropped a plate and broke down crying, begging Mr. and Mrs. Claire-Mikaelson (because you wouldn't dare call them mom and dad) not to send you back.
What began as your average Tuesday afternoon turned into a deeply formative experience when Kol sat you on his knee, looked you in the eyes, and said:
"Y/N, darling, I want you to listen to me very closely, alright? There is absolutely nothing on this earth you can do or say that will make your mother and I love you any less. There is no such thing as good enough - there is no bar you have to meet - only what you are. Now, a plate is infinitely replaceable, but you are our daughter and I will love you until the end of time. That makes you infinitely more valuable than a plate. Okay?"
"O-okay… dad?"
That was a day you never forgot as you grew older. 
Speaking of growing, no matter how old you get, Kol can and will pick you up by the ankle and hold you upside down. It never gets old.
Also, piggy-back rides.
You did go through a phase where you were convinced there was a monster in your closet.
"Dad! There's a monster in my closet and it wants to eat my toes!"
"Really? Well, I must applaud the audacity."
There were quite a few nights you spent cuddled up between them as Davina braided your hair and Kol told you a story until you fell asleep. 
Kol always refers to you and Davina as "his girls".
He's always willing to play with you, whether it be a game of tag or a complex drama plot with your dolls. (His personal favorite was when you decided to reenact the French Revolution in Barbie form.)
Daddy-Daughter Days are 100% a thing. The two of you are huge movie and arcade goers. Not to mention huge fantasy nerds. From Deltora Quest to Harry Potter to the freaking Wheel of Time - your fascination with the fantastical never fades as you grow. You never thought yourself too old to be read to at night, so Kol never stopped the tradition.
You're a little (a lot) spoiled. But not in a bad way. You're not ungrateful but let's just say you have quite a few pets.
Auntie Bex is always more than willing to babysit when your parents want some time to themselves. You remind her of Kol when he was a kid and she adores that.
Play-Dates with your cousin Hope mean quite a few headaches for your uncles Klaus and Elijah. Aunt Hayley thinks you're absolutely hilarious while Aunt Cami is convinced you're like 4 different varieties of insane. She might have a point there.
When you're old enough to be in school, you can always count on your parents to help you with your homework. You never would have made it through middle or high school without your dad, Kol is insanely good at math and chemistry. However, when it comes to anything to do with history or government, he passes the torch to Davina because even though he lived through it, he literally never paid enough attention to remember anything.
Parent-Teacher conferences are always interesting. 
"Y/N is so intelligent. Truly a joy to have in class."
"Is she now?"
Neither of them buys it for a second. You have a mischievous streak a mile long, the teacher just doesn't know that you're the one putting tacks on her chair. Kol is honestly proud and Davina may try to be the voice of reason but she can't help laughing at just how alike father and daughter turned out to be.
Now, if Hope is "miraculously well adjusted" then you're probably something like a thirty-year-old in an eight-year-old body. You're like the most chill child perhaps ever. However, just like your father, your maturity level varies with the situation.
For example, Klaus once decided it would be a good idea to whip out the "You're not even a real Mikaelson" card at a family reunion. It wasn't long before Davina had thrown Klaus into a wall and Kol and Marcel were at each other's throats. 
You honestly weren't even bothered. You knew your parents loved you and that was enough so you simply said:
"I'm sorry you feel that way."
And went back to eating your dinosaur chicken nuggets.
Marcel - apparently still a little touchy on that subject - was the last to sit down again. Little did he know just how proficient you had become with teleporting objects. Naturally, you were smirking when the whoopie cushion did its noble work.
Kol is terrified that he'll lose touch with you as you grow older.
This fear never comes to fruition.
The trust between you and your parents is something every other child ever would envy. They trust your judgment and, in turn, you trust the very few restrictions they put in place for you. It's crazy because they honestly never get mad. Like ever.
However, their disappointment is the worst thing you'll ever endure. 
 They told you not to go out one night because an old enemy of Klaus' was wandering around town. You went out anyway and you were attacked. Now, you were powerful enough to fight off your assailant and kill him, but you didn't come out of that fight unscathed. You had to limp home and tell your dad what had happened. 
"Are you mad at me?"
"No. I've done much worse in my life, for much dumber reasons. To be mad at you would make me a hypocrite. I just know you're better than this - Y/N, you've shown me that you're better than this. I'm not angry with you. I'm just extraordinarily disappointed."
It happens only once and never again.
Growing up with those two for parents ensured that you quickly mastered your magic and became one of the most powerful and skilled witches of all time. But don't think for a second that you would ever be used. They would never allow that to happen.
As you reach middle and high school, a rumor begins going around that your dad is a vampire. You just snort really loud and make no further comment. It leaves everyone wondering.
First boyfriend?
Heaven help the poor sod. 
"If you ever lay your hands on my daughter against her will, you will find that you no longer have hands. I will use the bones of them to fashion myself a new pen, with which I shall write your death certificate. Do I make myself clear?"
Once you're old enough, the basement becomes something of a witchy lab space.
Explosions are… frequent.
*Coughing* "Thank goodness your mother wasn't home for that one."
"Think again, Mikaelson."
"Oh shi-"
"Uh… Hi mom!"
You're probably the healthiest Mikaelson.
When the time comes for you to graduate, it's a hard dose of reality for Kol. He understands he has to let you live your life and he would never dream of taking that away as it was taken from him, but it's just hard.
You'll never stop being his little girl.
Special thanks to: @her-violent-delights
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cipheramnesia · 2 years
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Every year I steal dozens of the "Elf on a Shelf" and one by one I place them high on top of the tallest book case so that I can use my seductive wiles to lure them to the edge and over, falling to their doom. Then I pull my lace peignoir tight around my shoulders and cry crocodile tears for police Barbie and Ken, at least until Ken leaves and I pay Barbie to look the other way. She says, I can't keep doing this, her face lined with weary nihilism, but I own her. She can never bring me down, even if she knows where all my shelf elf bodies are buried (my neighbor's drive way), I know where hers are too. She turns away in disgust as I open a new elf box and prepare to reenact the grisly ritual all over again.
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rottenpumpkin13 · 5 months
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Alright AGSZC had to sit through Barbie Princess and the Pauper, what are the reactions?
Angeal: "You guys know that this would never happen IRL, right? The chances of an impoverished woman becoming a princess are next to none."
Sephiroth and Genesis: They're arguing loudly because Sephiroth made an offhand comment about Genesis being just like Preminger. Genesis took offence to this and now he's yelling. Sephiroth is just going "YOU'RE YELLING AT ME BECAUSE I'M RIGHT?"
Zack and Cloud: They're too busy reenacting "I Am A Girl Like You" and singing along to it to pay attention to anything else.
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violetthekiller · 7 months
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Tom should put on all his watches and reenact that bit in Barbie where Ken is so excited that someone asked him the time
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