#b rabbit imagine
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─── MASTERLIST ───
Requests Closed.
Fluff: 🧸
Smut: 🍷
Angst: 🧟♂️
Bang Chan
Marshall Mathers / Eminem
Frank Castle / The Punisher
Matt Murdock / Daredevil
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#eminem x reader#eminem imagine#marshall mathers imagine#marshall mathers x reader#eminem#marshall mathers#frank castle#frank castle x reader#frank castle imagine#the punisher x reader#the punisher imagine#jimmy smith jr x reader#jimmy smith jr imagine#jimmy smith jr fluff#b rabbit x reader#b rabbit imagine#b rabbit#8 mile fanfiction#the punisher#the punisher headcanons#frank castle headcanons#marshall mathers headcanons#eminem headcanons#jimmy smith jr headcanons#b rabbit headcanons#headcanons#fluff#smut#angst#masterlist
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B-Rabbit Headcanons:
jimmy smith jr. x fem!reader ₊ ⊹
prompt: you're jimmy's dancer girlfriend. 🐇
⚠: slight nsfw, fluffy fluff fluff
request: yes!! @heyitstial
a/n: this is my first request so i hope you enjoy it !!
also thanks for choosing my fav cute lil' rabbit<33
(gif of my own) ₊˚⊹♡
He would brag about you to his homies, telling them how amazing of a job you have and how mesmerizing you are while you're doing it. He would definitely not stand any negative or suggestive comments about you, firmly telling everyone around him to be careful with their words if they don't want problems.
You support his rap career and he supports your dancing career. Jackpot.
Sometimes he would be possessive over you, knowing that other people could be looking at your body too much, even if it was on an innocent way. He wouldn't hesitate to make you remember you're his only.
If he has the chance he would leave love bites on your neck, collarbone and shoulders for the same reason. He knows you'll maybe have to cover it up with makeup later, but you know how playful he can be. He does it on purpose.
If you learn something new he would be eager to see it, all of his attention will be on you.
He wouldn't miss the chance to ask for you to dance for him.
Calm demeanor but his blue eyes would be always locked on you, making you feel all fluttery and tense inside.
If you have any public performances, he would be your biggest fan on the crowd. If he has the opportunity, he's going to bring flowers, or even a sign with something written in it.
Him bringing Lily along with him to your performance, showing her just how amazing you are.
When it comes to you, he's got all the time on the world to show off. He would be yelling ''That's right, that's Rabbit's girl, the best dancer on all of Detroit, I hope y'all motherfucking get it straight!'' at the end, making sure to brag with a smile and a laugh.
You blushing furiously at what Jimmy says at the end of your performances, having the need to give him ALL the kisses in the world. (please do)
He would try to learn how to dance with you, but at the end it would end up with the two of you laughing together and just having a good time. He knows his natural talent isn't dancing, but he's willing to give it a try as he's fascinated by you and also likes to make you laugh. And deep down, he likes when you think he's cute. (but won't tell you)
You giving him the nickname ''Dancer Bunny'' after he tried learning how to dance with you, earning a hearty laugh from him and maybe some blushing.
Stripteasing would be a yes. He would ask for it with the excuse of ''wanting to see how you can use your talent'', but you know he just loves seeing you move, and more if it's only for him.
''Babe, show me how those hips can move for me?''
Be sure that turns him on more than anything. You are the only one those ocean eyes want to look to, anyway.
Him being very cuddly and needy, loving your touch and sighing everything you caress his short hair or give him time to relax with you.
LOTS of reassurance. Like, lots.
🐇 .ᐟ
#b rabbit#8 mile#8 mile imagine#b rabbit x reader#jimmy smith jr#jimmy smith jr x reader#eminem#marshall mathers#eminem x reader#thanks 4 the request<3
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Marshall being a boy dad ?? 👀👀
MARSHALL MATHERS BEING A BOY DAD HEADCANON
Author's Note : I love receiving requests for fics & HCs ❤️ You can definitely keep sending them my way 👀! Also to give you guys a quick update on Recovery : Chapter 34 is in the works but I have been working on a few different things for this blog so it's taking a little more time than expected ! 😅 That being said, I have many ideas for this fic and I think I have finally figured out the ending 👀. Going back to this HC, from what I see in my Ask, you guys are suckers for the whole Marshall Mathers being a Dad trope and I cannot blame you 🙊. Here I am, sharing what I think he would be like, being a boy dad - Let me know what you think !!!
This HC is my very own take on Marshall being a boy dad but, just in case you haven't read it - @theboujeestofboujee also wrote something similar that was absolutely adoralble "How He treats Your Son"
BEFORE THE BABY’S BIRTH
Doesn’t matter if the baby is a boy or a girl : he is a big softie with his little one
After raising three girls, he is really overjoyed to have a son
Before finding out the gender, he swears he doesn’t care « As long as the baby is healthy, it doesn’t matter »
BUT once he knows he is having a son ? So happy.
He wasn’t really in a baby clothes frenzy for his daughters but for his son ? He might get a little carried away.
His little one is definitely getting some cool baby sneakers and cute outfits
Contrary to what a lot of people think and expect : he does NOT name his son Marshall Bruce Mathers IV
He doesn’t want to pay homage to his own father
He is not an egomaniac
He doesn’t want his boy to be crushed by the weight of expectations - he knows it’s going to be hard enough when people know he is Eminem’s son
For privacy reason, his son might use his mother’s name on a daily basis (just like his daughters went by Scott)
Baby boy’s middle name might be Deshaun, in honor of Proof - one of the best men he has ever known
Either Denaun or Royce is his son’s godfather
BIRTH / AFTER THE BIRTH
He takes time off before the end of the pregnancy - doesn't matter if he has to postpone a tour or an album : family first
Wouldn’t miss his son’s birth for the world
He is happy his son takes a bit after him. But even more if he looks like his mother.
« Thank God he has your nose »
OR « Jesus Christ… He has my ears. »
He announces he is a Dad for the 4th time but he is intent on protecting his baby’s privacy - he has definitely learned a few lessons
May not even do the announcement before the baby is a few months old
Do not expect him to share pictures of his son on social media - NOT HAPPENING
At most, he will share a picture of the baby's hand for the announcement and that's it
Definitely takes time to enjoy life with his newborn son and the baby’s mother
Every second he spends with his newborn baby fills him with joy
He doesn’t mind doing the late night feedings or being on diaper duty
He gets his son’s name tattooed on him soon after the birth
Might not be somewhere too visible, though, especially is he chooses not to share his son’s name publicly
If someone leaks any information about his son, he will lose his shit
He usually doesn’t care if a paparazzi snaps a picture of him but his son ? That pap is in big trouble indeed
In interviews, he refuses to answer questions about his family. The most a journalist will get from him about his son is : "Yeah, he's doing great" or "It's fun being a boy dad"
GROWING UP
Just like with Alaina, Hailie and Stevie, he is adamant on teaching his son some good manners. No big difference there
However, he tends to be a little more strict with his son - because he knows what being a boy is like
That being said, he’s not much of a disciplinarian
As long as his kids behave well and do well in school, he is pretty lenient
Especially when he sees so much of himself in his son
He loves his kids equally but he has a soft spot for his son because a) he is the youngest and his last child b) he is the only boy in the family, besides himself
He is a fun dad and he loves doing stuff with his children
Just like with his daughters, he makes it a point to be there for every important moment
He does not doubt his wife/girlfriend/baby’s mother’s ability when it comes to parenting but he wants his son to have a good, strong male presence in his life
He also pressures himself on being a good role model
Definitely a stressed out Dad - not when his son is a baby (diapers and bottle feeding are the easy part) but more as he grows up. He constantly worries about setting up a good example for his baby boy.
His son better respect women. He won’t have it any other way.
He leads by example : he treats his baby’s mother very well, same goes for his daughters (obviously)
When he grows up, he has to have the « just because Dad says some stuff in his songs doesn’t mean it’s true » conversation with his son.
The « no swearing » rule is still very much in place
And if his son ever calls a woman a colorful name or disrespects a girl in front if him ? He is in BIG trouble.
He teaches his son to respect everyone and makes sure his boy is polite from a very young age
He also makes sure his son knows not to take any disrespect. He teaches him that violence does not solve any issue but he will not have his son be bullied like he was.
He would not force his son to practice any activity he doesn’t want to
If his son wants to do ballet, he will show up to every recital and be the proudest Dad in the room - same goes for any other sport or artistic pursuit
But hopefully he can share his passion of either Football or Basketball with his boy
Baby boy sees his first Lions and Pistons game at a young age - doesn’t understand a thing but Marshall is too happy anyway
What do you think ? What would you add ? 👀
#eminem#marshall mathers#eminem fanfiction#slim shady#eminem x reader#eminem fluff#eminem imagine#marshall mathers x reader#marshall mathers imagine#marshall mathers headcanon#eminem headcanons#8 mile#jimmy smith jr#b rabbit
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oo more b-rabbit please and maybe touchstarved reader x touchstarved b-rabbit/jimmy
A/N: I'm very sorry for long respond! But I didn't have much time earlier.
Touchstarved B-rabbit x touchstarved reader hc's
PAIRING: Jimmy Smith Jr x reader
WARNINGS: bad grammar
CONTAINS: fluff
SONG: Me and Your Mama - Childish Gambino
gif is NOT mine
Jimmy is touchstarved for 100%!!
he wants to touch you ALL THE TIME!
he needs to touch you ALL THE TIME!
when he have a chance to touch you anywhere, he will do it without hesitation!
when he have a bad day, he just cuddle with you rest of the day
he loves putting his head on your chest, wrap his arms around your waist and tangled your legs together
and when you start playing with his hair?! he's over the moon!
when you two go out he have to hold your hand and when he sees some guy looking at you for too long he'll just wrap his arm around your waist
when he can't touch you fully at the moment he'll just hold your pinkie
or he'll softly stroke your thigh with his pinkie
Jimmy, whenever he sees you're tired or in a bad mood, he'll put you in his lap, slowly and softly stroke your head and sing
he'll softly sing for you to calm you down cuz he knows how much you love his voice
when you're watching a movie together, you have to be on top of him
just lay on him that's everything he needs!
he can reach every part of you, he have your face close to his and he's body to body which is very relaxing for him
I think he have very cold hands so he likes putting them under your t-shirt when you don't pay attention
he feels like he's protecting you when he's touching you
but that's just what he needs - you!
#b rabbit#b rabbit x reader#touchstarved b rabbit x touchstarved reader#jimmy smith jr#jimmy smith jr x reader#jimmy smith jr imagine#eminem#eminem x reader#8 mile#8 mile x reader#8 mile x reader imagine#8 mile imagine
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for the lovely wererabbit fic @kaaaaaaarf wrote that is currently living in my head rent free <3
#I saw this pic of rabbits & was like… I need 2 draw thjs they’re so cute#this is what I imagine the cuddle pile looks like#padfoot is the cutest bunny imma b honest he’s so freaking cute#ok i need to do actual work now but#pls enjoy these adorable bunnies#that may or may not want 2 eat flesh#my art
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Dating Jimmy Smith Jr...
what i think dating jimmy would b like :))) (+this was a request .. but im really excited to do it) ( sry if this sux ) (not my gif 🙏🏼🙏🏼)
• him sneaking in through your window
lets say you live with your parents / friends and they don't know yall are together yet so you sneak him in at night so yall can sleep together .
• late night conversations / late night drives
convos about literally anything, there's not a moment of silence when the two of you are together
• smoking weed together / getting drunk
literally become two of the most chaotic people in the room. you guys do the dumbest shit and don't give a fuck.
• going to all of his battles :)))
he doesn't really want you there. he says its "not safe" but you don't care.
• taking his clothes
wearing his hoodies all the time !!!!!! Jimmy loves seeing you in his clothes
• movie nights that don't last long
"You wanna have a movie night?"
"Yeah, I'm down"
*both of you are asleep by the end of the first movie*
• getting in trouble with the law together
this goes with getting high and doing dumb shit. lets just say if you guys get caught by the police again, they wont just let you off with a warning.
• watching lily when he can't.
lily literally loves you omg !!!!!! you love spending time with her !
• you're one of the only people he truly trusts
he's been cheated on and lied to by his exs so it took a while for him to warm up to you, but once he did, he told you everything.
• you're able to calm him down when his anger gets outta control.
you've gone over this breathing exercise the last time he had snapped because Papa Doc had tried to seduce you. now he tries to do that exercise or he'll call you if you're not around just to hear your voice because that calms him down too.
• he's very protective of you
hes beaten a couple of people up for trying to flirt with you, he wont hesitate to knock anyone out for you.
• hugs / cuddles 24/7
Jimmy is touch starved. so are you so what is there to complain about? (nothing, #welovecuddles)
• he's definitely wrote a rap about you.
a rap just for you :))) a lil (maybe twisted) love song. he wouldn't tell you about it. he'd probably add the song to a mixtape, put it on cassette and give it to you without telling you its on there.
• you are the first person he goes to when he gets kicked out
whenever he gets in a fight with his mom, you're the first one he calls / goes to.
• drive-in movie dates
you had told him once that a drive-in movie was your idea of a perfect date and he took you to one of your birthday :))))))) now its something yall do it pretty regularly.
• sitting in his lap
this goes back to the touch starved thing. he loves it when you sit in his lap. sometimes he'll tell u that he needs to tell you something and once he gets you to come over to him all he'll do is pull you into his lap and (maybe) leave small kisses on your neck
• yall sing together all the time
• doesnt matter if u can sing or not
• yall share music taste / cassette tapes
the two of you are both in love with music, it would only be right if you shared the type of music the two of you enjoyed.
• thats all i have
• i am truly sorry it took as long as it did
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Art is happening, guys, don't worry. I just super fell down the writing hole recently (rare for me these days), and I have to put that fire to good use before it burns itself out again. You know how it is.
#veins rambles#(I am holding the fire and I will USE IT)#(even if I still don't finish this starforsaken draft)#(I may or may not have also uh)#(fallen down the darkroach rabbit hole as well ^^' )#(hence why I've had nothing ready for any of the recent kirby b-days)#(nor do I imagine I'll have anything for the upcoming ones either *sadface*)#(but I've never been much of a bandwagon person anyway)#(at least not a punctual one)#(I'll get to it when I get to it... or I won't)#(we'll see)#(... if Stardew Valley 1.6 doesn't claim me first)#(edit: it might've claimed me a li'l bit -_-' )
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B-Rabbit/Jimmy Smith Masterlist
Last Updated: 0/00/00
Main Masterlist
Ordered oldest to newest
Fluff=🤍 Smut=🥵 Angst=🌧
Blog Guidelines
Fanfics:
Coming Soon…
Series:
Nothing Yet…
#eminem request#eminem asks#eminemgif#eminem series#eminem x reader#eminem smut#eminem imagine#eminem fanfiction#eminem#slim shady#brabbit x reader#brabbit#b rabbit
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Oz in his Negan era
#I imagine it wants to represent the B Rabbit side of him as substitution for the scythe?#But that's all I can think about#Oz why are you carrying that around the school?#There's a picture in which he and Elliot both look beaten up I think to recall?#Oz what have you done? Did you murder someone with that?#No but really what's the background? Why does he have that in the low stakes AU? Did he make it himself in some crafts subject?#And why does he carry it around the school? And HOW? The teachers must be so chill#Then again you see Break and Oscar are part of the staff and everything starts making more sense#I talk too much#I should probably delete this later
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cannot believe i caught someone armchair diagnosing me with npd in a chat they thought i couldn't see because i called them on their ableism.
#imagine trying that#imagine using npd as an insult#imagine perpetuating the stigma of cluster b personality disorders because someone told you that youre wrong#and accidentally proving their point#rabbit blahs
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Jimmy Smith Jr. / B-Rabbit
masterlist
Fluff: 🧸 Smut: 🍷 Angst: 🧟♂️
FICS
-
HEADCANONS
-
𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐏𝐓𝐒
➸ thinking 'bout b rabbit
#jimmy smith jr x reader#jimmy smith jr imagine#jimmy smith jr fluff#jimmy smith jr angst#jimmy smith jr smut#b rabbit x reader#b rabbit imagine#b rabbit fluff#b rabbit smut#b rabbit angst#jimmy smith jr headcanons#b rabbit headcanons#8 mile fanfiction#eminem x reader#marshall mathers x reader#eminem imagine#marshall mathers imagine#thinking 'bout b rabbit#masterlist
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B-Rabbit Headcanons:
prompt: Him being your boyfriend. 💗
⚠: slight nsfw and also fluff.
references to 8 mile.
(my first attempt at hcs, so i hope y'all like it ♡)
He would enjoy looking at you as you do things, such as cooking, reading, writing, or about anything. His eyes would always be locked on your body and face, worshipping you silently, as he feels lucky to have you by his side.
He loves your cute little nicknames, but ONLY if its you. You're the only person allowed to call him such things as "Cute little bunny", "My little rabbit", and similar. He would try to hide a smile as he blushes, clearing his throat. But even with all of that, you could clearly see how much he loves it.
His softer side would appear with you. Even if he's someone of few words, he would love to compliment you and give signs of affection whenever possible.
He loves grabbing your thighs and hips, as much as he loves caressing them and your entire body. He's all up for physical contact, and loves when you caress and touch him as well. He sometimes even craves for that, and even if he's too shy to ask for it, you provide, and his smile for you says it all.
He would love being flirty and playful with you, teasing you with simple but effective phrases which make you melt, all combined with his soft inviting voice and deep eyes looking directly onto yours.
He just loves being possessive and showing everyone that you're only his. Even if it takes shouting it out for the rest of the hood to know, he absolutely will. "This is my girl, y'all! Don't ever touch her, or I'll beat you the fuck up!"
He wouldn't hesitate to fight or beat up whoever that dares to lay a hand on you. And you better believe him, as he's another person completely once he lets himself go. But one thing is clear, he's here to protect you and let the rest know they can't touch what's his, and whoever does will know the consequences.
He would take you to meet his little sister, Lily. He would introduce you to her, as he knows you're the one and feels completely sure that he wants you to care for his sister as much as he does. He would say sweet things about you to her, explaining to Lily that "his brother is in love". Your heart would melt at the scene of it.
He would invite you to see all of his rap battles, you being his inspiration for becoming even better and winning every single one, as he wants to make you proud and win your heart even more. He would ask Future to leave a spot free for you closer to the stage, so you could see him better.
He would buy you flowers or something cute when he has the enough money for it. He wants to gift you whenever he can, even if its something simple. Or even freestyling for you, going as far as writing an over-the-top sweet rap for you.
#b rabbit#b rabbit x reader#8 mile#jimmy smith jr#8 mile imagine#eminem imagine#jimmy smith jr x reader#eminem x reader#marshall mathers#eminem
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Dating Jimmy Smith Jr would include...
CONTAINS: Fluff
WARNING: Bad grammar
He is very grateful that he have you.
I mean his first gf was a bitch and the second one cheated on him.
He is also very glad you support him.
He rap for you and always ask you for your opinion.
Babysitting Lily when he can’t.
He is little embarrassed where he live but you don’t mind.
Lily love how you treat her big brother and she love you!
I think he is little insecure about himself but he would act like he’s not.
He is insecure about that he don’t have much money etc.
He think you deserve better than him.
He will protect you with his life.
So when he heard some guy from Tha Free World whistling on you.. he beat the shit out of him
His love language is physical touch and words of affirmation.
Before he do anything with you or to you he will ask you.
‘Can I hold your hand?’ ‘Will you cuddle with me?’ ‘Can I play with your hair?’ ‘Can I kiss you?’
He would let you borrow his hoodie.
He try so hard to make some more money so you two can move to your own apartment.
Driving in ‘his’ car in the night.
Sometimes you two smoke weed together.
His mom loves you, she see how much Jimmy love you and how he look at you.
Tells how much he loves you everyday.
His friends are chaotic.
They’re teasing him about how hot are you.
He’s jealous but he knows that you’re hot.
He trust you so don’t break his trust.
You will support him when he goes against Papa Doc.
You buy Lily some toys or some crayons.
Cuddles with him are THE BEST.
(that’s how I imagine you two cuddling)
Cooking for him.
He’s a big simp for you but he won't admit it.
You find him laying on the ground when he got in fight with Tha Free World and helped him.
He could see how worried you were and how much you care for him.
He would sing you to goodnight.
He would calm you down whenever you’re having a panic attack.
He hate seeing you in pain.
He would do anything for you.
He’s tough guy but when he comes to you he’s softest than marshmallow.
#jimmy smith jr#jimmy smith jr x reader#b-rabbit#rabbit#8 mile#8 mile movie#eminem#eminem imagine#young eminem#90s#00s#bunny rabbit 8 mile#fluff#imagine#dating#rap#rapper
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Ranking Every Large Monster in Monster Hunter Rise by How Tasty I Think They Would Be:
A TIER - Delicious Tier. Monsters that are prized for their delicious meat. The tier reserved for luxury meats like foie gras, or wagyu beef.
Tetranodon [A+]
Luxurious, fatty, versatile, and convenient. These massive omnivorous amphibians cushion their ponderous weight with layers of marbled fat. Shanks are delicious spit-roasted over an open flame, or breaded and fried in their own drippings. Neck, and breasts are cubed for stew meat and stuffed back into the shell with herbs for pit baking. Butt and sirloin are slow-cooked in clay pots to reduce in their own fat like fine carnitas.
Jyuratodus [A]
These omnivorous filter-feeders are prized in-universe for their meat. Its bipedal stance but fishlike physiology imply a meat somewhere between salmon, catfish, and chicken. Denser thighs are cut into steaks and smoked. The more muscular sirloin is butterflied and deep-fried like catfish filets. The fatty brisket would be the finest cut, reserved for sushi.
Lagombi [A-]
The already-delicious rabbit, evolved for long-pursuit sub-arctic grazing. Powerful hip joints cushioned by layers of cold-resistant fat. The lagombi would produce a brisket fit for the pinnacles of sephardic cuisine, basted in honey, orange juice, prunes, and apricots. Shoulder and rump should be sliced thin, basted with herbs and oil, and used for gyros.
(Long Post Ahead)
B TIER - Ordinary Tier. Monsters that can be eaten, and eaten well. The tier of humble, everyday meats like chicken, pork, and beef.
Great Izuchi / Great Wroggi / Great Baggi [B+]
The chicken of monster hunter ecology. When butchered and clipped of their poison sacs, claws and feet, I can imagine these beasts whole roasted like a holiday turkey, or spit roasted like rotisserie chicken. Given their tails and posture, I imagine they taste slightly oily and gamey, closer to pheasant or game hen than chicken, but still wholly within the realm of chicken.
Kulu-Ya-Ku [B+]
A leaner, more agile cousin of the great Izuchi. Similar to Cornish game hen, their limbs produce less meat, but their bodies are traditionally eaten stuffed with herbs, and basted with fat during baking. Flesh is similar to waterfowl, oily, slightly dense, but a sponge for flavor. Not fatty enough to fire-roast, but careful baking can produce a delicious Kulu-Ya-Ku a l'orange.
Aknosom [B]
Would be placed higher on this list were it not for the complication of having to butcher and remove the flame sac. Specialty cuisines would be developed for cooking a butchered aknosom in its own fluids. Slightly more fat than the Kulu-Ya-Ku, but I would prefer stewing, perhaps an aknosom vindaloo.
Anjanath [B]
A large monster, armored with dense fat rather than scales. Two caveats: Anjanath eat just about anything, so the taste of their meat would heavily depend on the anjanath's diet, and their flame sac is notably more complex than many other fire-breathing monsters. If properly grazed on offal and vegetables scrap, their meat has a texture somewhere between beef and pork. The top sirloin is especially prized, but notably difficult to acquire.
Diabolos [B-]
Most of the meat on these massive, armored predators is far too dense to be worth eating. However, their fatty brisket and thighs are delicious after significant, significant slow-roasting. A favorite for BBQ.
Rathalos / Rathain [B-]
These large, agile predators are eaten more for their abundance than their taste. Rath meat is similar to horse in texture; stringy, sparse, and of variable taste depending on their hosts diet. Most chefs get around the unpleasant texture by grinding cuts into hamburger or sausage filling, and spicing heavily.
C TIER - Uncommon Tier. Monsters who can be eaten, but are likely not one’s first choice. The tier of uncommon meats such as rabbit, crocodile, and venison.
Royal Ludroth [C+]
The neck sacs are unpleasantly spongy, and taste of pus if butchered incorrectly. The meat itself is passable, but similar to gator, dense, fishy, chewy if improperly cooked. The choicest cuts are the tail and sirloin, ideal for gumbo. Skillful chefs can produce a wonderful griddle-cooked Ludroth-mac-n-cheese.
Somnacanth [C+]
Surprisingly difficult to butcher. These creatures feature a complex endocrine system that constantly threatens to ruin their frankly sparse and oily meat. Skilled chefs marinate tail and belly cuts in a sweet and savory sauce, to produce a result strangely similar to pineapple marinated fish, or somnacanth al-pastor.
Almurdron [C]
Nearly inedible, but can produce delicacies when butchered properly. Their serpentine bodies are extremely muscular, and feature a weaponized excretory tract that can make the meat foul and actively dangerous to consume if butchered improperly. When prepared correctly, most of the animal is discarded, save for the sheathe of subcutaneous fat and tissue which can be used as a sausage casing. Ground almurdron offal sausage is a common feed for domesticated carnivores, but is occasionally enjoyed by humans. The discerning chef may long-cure the meat, producing a rare and exotic cold-cut enjoyed similarly to a rattlesnake sausage.
Basarios [C]
Tough, dense, extraordinarily difficult to butcher. The sheer amount of effort involved in butchering these creatures for consumption often outstrips their culinary benefits. When they are eaten, they are drained by the neck and packed in clay for pit baking. Even then, the meat is spongy and gamey, not unlike raw calamari or rocky mountain oysters.
Barroth [C]
Similar to a great Izuchi, but tougher, chewier, less available, and far more difficult to butcher. Even skilled butchers and captive ranchers have been unable to remove the faint muddy taste from the meat. A tragedy, in that they are almost tasty in so many ways.
Bishaten [C-]
Of questionable ethicality. Meat has a taste smack dab between pork and chicken, but very lean and slightly gamey. Generally does not have enough meat to be considered worth hunting for consumption, and their diet is varied enough to make the taste a gamble. Occasionally, the fruits they collect may ferment in their pouches. A bishaten persimmon wine reduction is considered a rare delicacy, but generally requires cultivation in captivity.
Rajang [C-]
Skirting the lower end of edibility is the rajang. Meat is leathery, gamey, and chewy, like a steak that worked out before the slaughter. The organ systems that maintain their extraordinary muscle strength may even continue to hold a charge after death, and butchers must be careful to ground the beast before applying any metal tools. Requires cooking so slow that one generally has time to hunt two more beasts in the meantime.
D TIER - Delicacy Tier. Monsters that probably should not be eaten, are only partially edible, or require special preparation. The tier of snake, fish eyes, chicken feet, and most edible insects.
Pukei-Pukei [D+]
Proper butchery of these animals requires extreme skill. Well made Pukei-Pukei pate is treated as a rite-of-passage for aspiring master chefs. A single Pukei-Pukei will only produce 2lbs of fatty cheek, and a single mistake could flood the meat with its deadly toxins. The meat itself is delicate, fatty, and flavorful, akin to a lovechild of white fish and high-quality chicken.
Tobi-Kadachi [D+]
A Tobi-Kadachi’s spines are actually articulated electrosensory organs, akin to insect mandibles. Each follicle is surrounded by a powerful muscle sphincter, and loops into the creature’s endocrine system. Butchery is an exhausting process of plucking and deveining, all for subcutaneous back tissue that is underwhelming and stringy. Ideal serving would be finely ground and baked into a pie.
Goss Harag [D+]
These creatures are not hunted for their meat. Due to a unique quirk of the goss-harag’s sebaceous glands, the creature’s adipose deposits gain a unique flavor. Sufficiently mature Goss Harag lard has an herbal, almost minty, flavor. Its culinary use is divisive, a favorite to some, and reviled by others. Their meat is leathery, foul, and dense. Their livers are sweet, and excellent source of vitamin C when eaten raw, but few culinarians are so adventurous.
Barioth [D+]
Meat is overwhelmingly dense, stringy, and run through with the creature’s jellylike blubber. Some cultures do consume the liver, heart, and testicles, as a source of essential vitamins in sub-arctic environments, but these require skillful butchery and unorthodox techniques to prepare. Offal is sometimes ground and compacted into a baloney-like loaf that is surprisingly good on sandwiches, or stir-fried with eggs.
Tigrex [D]
Tigrex meat is so dense that it cannot be butchered along traditional lines. Ordinarily fatty cuts like breasts and thighs are akin to eating grilled steel wire. However, the lungs, diaphragm, and pelvic muscles are edible after a few days of slow-cooking. Even then, they are quite dense. It is meat that demands a 24 hour pit bake, the realm of BBQ chefs with an experimental streak, or more patience than sense.
Ibushi / Narwa [D]
Bizarre biology and sheer rarity make these creatures a true challenge for the aspiring game chef. Those privileged enough to dine on Narwa meat have described it as fishy and gritty, similar to crab with notes of ozone. Efforts have been made into the production of Ibushi caviar, but none have since been successful.
Bazelgeuse [D]
Inedible. Even attempting butchery can cost an overconfident chef their hand. However, their unfertilized eggs are delicious, a bomb of umami and natural capcasin. Ideal for Huevos Rancheros or about ten savory omelets.
Arzuros [D-]
When raised in captivity, on a purely vegetarian diet of herbs, honey, and berries, their meat can be edible. Given that Arzuros are an omnivorous predator, the ethicality of this is contested. Even when properly farmed, arzuros meat is lumpy, unpleasantly textured, and lacking in any distinct flavor. All of the time, controversy, and resources required to produce a single Arzuros steak would be better spent on Tetranodon.
Nargacuga [D-]
Only edible in that it can be physically consumed. Nargacuga meat is relegated to fringe cuisine, the purview of dubious half-magical medicinal stews and rumors during famine years. The meat is unpleasant, somehow bland, foul, dry, and oily at the same time. Only theoretically edible when mixed with other meats, and heavily spiced. Additionally, the creature’s adrenal secretions can be actively dangerous in more than trace amounts. Improper butchery can make the meat hazardous to consume.
Chameleos [D-]
Most of these creatures are inedible. The biological mechanisms that facilitate their light-bending abilities are not understood by zoologists, much less chefs. Their meat is sparse and leathery, similar to ludroth, but is also to cause a dangerous allergic reaction in more than 50% of consumers. The only part of the Chameleos known to be safe is their eyes, which are candied and served with sweet rice as a dessert delicacy.
Mizutsune [D-]
Tastes of soap. Only reached D rank because roughly 10% of the population bears a genetic quirk that makes Mizutsune meat taste like cilantro.
F TIER - Inedible. Monsters that should not be eaten, cannot be eaten, or are actively dangerous to eat.
Kushala Daora [F+]
With a skin of iron-laced keratin, the Kushala Daora is more fit to be used as a grill than placed upon it. The meat is dense, overwhelmingly bloody, and riven with grits of iron oxide. Tastes like iron shavings kneaded into leather.
Khezu [F+]
It is said in-lore that many hunters have tried, and failed, to make the Khezu palatable. These giant leeches feature a complex digestive and endocrine system more useful for medical applications than cuisine. Escargot is already unpleasant. Even stir fried like chinese periwinkle snails, Khezu meat is far too muscular to eat. Tastes like an art eraser soaked in cough syrup.
Rakna-Kadaki [F+]
Edible only in the sense that it can be physically consumed. Where the fire-breathing organs of other organisms can be removed during butchery, insect respiration is done through spiracles in the carapace. Spider meat already tastes of pus and rot, but the rakna-kadaki features overtones of sulphur and gasoline.
Zingore [F]
A large, muscular, agile pursuit predator with biological mechanisms for electroconductivity. Wolflike predators already taste of gristle and death, but the Zingore’s electrochemical organ system taints its meat with an overwhelming flavor of bleach and battery acid. Meat is highly toxic to humans.
Teostra [F]
A large, muscular pursuit predator known for attacking caravans to eat gunpowder. The meat is stringy, gristly, sulfurous, and smells of rotting eggs. Impossible to cook, as applying any sort of heat will cause the meat to rapidly combust. Tastes of old rope bathed in a sulfur vent.
Valstrax [F-]
A heavily armored, extraordinarily agile aerial pursuit predator with a secondary respiration system to facilitate jet propulsion. Meat is stringy, rubbery, chemically astringent with overwhelming notes of crude oil and smog. Biological fluids are a chemical accelerant, and risk exploding if ignited.
Magnamalo [F-]
The only thing that could make this monster edible would be slow-roasting in the whole shell. This should never be attempted. Given its purple coloration, the Magnamalo’s secondary respiration system exhales what is likely a complex and highly volatile lithium phosphate. Meat is dense, gristly, tastes of battery acid and spoiled wine. Risks exploding if ignited, oxygenated, or introduced to an electrical charge.
Volvidon [F-]
Indescribably foul. The volvidon’s digestive tract produces both a paralytic venom, and a predator deterrent in the form of toxic flatulence. Consumption will risk paralysis and uncontrollable vomiting, risking a horrific death by asphyxiation.
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*selfs ur insert* *gives ur insert anxiety* lol
Anyway sjdhdjdh i kinda rlly don’t like how this turned out but um. Babbit selfinsert comic real
(I imagine this would b pretty early in Sun/Moon and Rabbit’s friendship/general relationship, where Babbit is still figuring out how much rambling/being a weirdo Sun/Moon can tolerate lol sjdhdndhd)
(Babbit is gender neutral and uses they/them pronouns!)
not pictured:
Sun: Are you okay? You look a little red suddenly-
Babbit, incapable of being normal when flustered: NO I DON’T ITS NOTHING OKAY SHUT UP
#literally anyone: I like you :)#me: SNIFFLING CRYING WET CAT NOISES#also Sun means this platonically#Babbit is just surprised to hear anyone say they like them sjdhdjs#self insert oc#babbitsona#oh shit it’s Babbit#self insert x canon#fnaf x oc#fnaf x y/n#fnaf sun x oc#fnaf sun x y/n#anxiety#silly bullshit#oc comic#long post#bones of a rabbit oc#bones of a rabbit#sketches#doodles#this was just meant to b silly sorry sjdhdhdj
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IMAGINE... (GP!LISA X FEMALE READER)
going on a romantic getaway with your rich wife, gp!lisa, and seeing her frolick happily in her pretty bikinis. bathing in the sun everyday, drinking the most expensive alcohol by the pool and having the most privacy all the world can offer to bask in each other. one day, when you're both in your private pool and splashing water at each other, she gets out with a giggle and sits at the edge.
only her legs are submerged in the water, spread wide to air out the not-so-humble bulge under her bikini bottoms. the water accentuates it all too much that you can't take your eyes off it, gravitating toward it like it's a magnet. there's a shift in her eyes and she no longer has that playful smile, it's moreso a smirk as she looks down at your lustful expression. you lick your bottom lip and reach for her panties, and she lifts her hips so you can pull them to the side.
her cock is half hard already, the tip pointing toward you before the length starts rising taller. it's average length but thick and engorged, leaking arousal from its pink tip.
you grinned. "you're so hard already, baby..."
"it's pretty easy to be when my beautiful wife's between my legs," she quipped, reaching down to play with your hair.
there were some days where you liked her balls more than her cock. they were just always so large, heavy and full with cum that you just wanted to milk dry. and today is one of those days.
you don't have the patience to keep your hand away from her cock anymore and grab it like it's yours to own. the water sloshes as you move closer and push her thigh away to make space for your lips to kiss the tip. your face lowers to your original target and you get to work. she leans back on her hands to give you more access before your mouth is sucking in her left nut.
"o-oh, fuuuuck. someone's especially h-hungry today," lisa groans.
you hum, sending vibrations that run shivers all over her body as you stroke her cock. your tongue fondles her spit-coated balls as you grab ahold of them with your free hand. they swell in your firm grip and they're sliding in and out between your lips. your other hand is busy trying to get you what you want—you want it to twitch and shoot all that cum she's been keeping in her balls.
"such a n-naughty girl... oh, fuck yes! just like that. keep sucking my balls, b-baby. they're all y-yours..."
if you weren't so focused on your goal, you would've snapped and sat on her cock already. fuck, you were a lucky girl.
"gimme your cum. i want your cum on my face," you muffled.
your hand spares no mercy on her sensitive cock, your gentle strokes becoming harsh tugs until you feel the familiar twitch in your grasp. lisa sits up as your mouth lets go of her balls with her loud pop, and with a few more jerks on her cock, she spurts out what feels like an endless amount of warm cum on your face. she moans while you continue your minstrations on her dick, one of her own hands grabbing her tit as she paints your face with white and looks off to the view of the sun setting behind the greek sea.
for the next few days, you might just forget about all the sight-seeing you planned to do and just fuck like rabbits. it's not like you can't extend your stay here anyway.
#blackpink smut#girl group smut#gxg smut#kpop smut#blackpink lisa smut#kpop gg smut#wlw smut#g!p#blackpink x reader#lisa x reader
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