#autistic claire novak
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Some character boards for Stanford Era Au Claire and Dean
#supernatural#spn#dean winchester#trans dean winchester#adhdean#autistic dean winchester#dean has adhd#claire novak#adhd claire novak#autistic claire novak#lesbian claire novak#aro dean#Ace Claire Novak#stanford era#stanford era dean#jensen ackles#young jensen ackles#kathryn newton#Claire & The Winchesters au#my art
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another offshoot of jack being infantilized is that it’s leeched into the popular mischaracterization of jack as some soft sensitive crybaby who hates violence, hates scary things and is super nice and sweet and cutesy all the time and of course he’s used to accessorize Claire as a big mean lesbian sister who always gets them in trouble, and what makes it so unbearable besides the ableist rooting, is that it’s just canonically utterly wrong. like go back and watch 13x02 & 03. go back and watch 14x06 when they convince Dean to go on a case behind Sam’s back. or look at any time they’re defiant to Cas (and for the love of god do not look at it as “lol sassy baby dean is a bad influence bad dad 😂” or so help me I am throwing multiple rocks at you). like you can say he’s a bitch. you can say he’s a cunt even. it won’t kill you.
in fact, I implore you to, because it is a step away from infantilizing his every action as silly baby behavior and ergo a step in the right direction. look at the entire apocalypse world arc where he decides he has to personally kill Michael when the plan was only ever to escape through the rift. remember the scene where they’re crying in the woods and it got ran with as hashtag poor baby boy whump and nobody noticed that he’d literally almost strangled someone because of their impulsive temper?? or when they made the decision to brutally torture a man by snapping and twisting his skeleton and burning him so intensely his shirt fabric blackened?? and somehow that gets turned into shit like “daddy hold my sippy cup” because for some fucking reason you guys are so intent on making him out to be a child and infantilizing his canon traits to be more palatable to that idea of him.
TLDR please can we actually recognize how bitchy and violent and rebellious jack is. can you guys realize that his entire behavioral pattern of saying hi and waving hello is him masking and repressing because his emotions literally are nuclear charged and he doesn’t want to be a threat. can we please.
#waiter waiter more canon jack that isn’t infantilized to an unrecognizable extent please.#jack kline#spn#supernatural#day 181929:&/&/&/&/&3&3$18181929-:;; of spn fans being weird about autism#claire novak#autistic jack kline#claire and jack#tfw2.0#‘ummm he can’t handle scary things he’s a sweet little baby’ HE FUCKING KILLS PEOPLE. SHUT UP.#sam winchester#dean winchester#destiel#sastiel#tags for reach and I don’t care about cross tagging bc that’s the only way I can get y’all to look or care#can yall acknowledge that you got collectively duped by his masking too lmao#castiel#dadstiel#cas and jack
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Claire gives Cas a haircut. It's fraught. This is a love that lasts forever. Here's the opening:
The room's tense. Most rooms with Claire in them end up being tense, Cas has found, although it may be the combination of he and Claire together that makes things this way. The only time he's heard her laugh - really laugh, not just an emphasised exhale - she had been three rooms away at Jody's house, before she knew Cas had come over. She makes him call ahead, now, so he hasn't heared it since.
There are memories, of course: the giggly little girl on the merry go round; the 11 year old pulling faces through the rearview mirror together until she couldn't keep it together from smiling too hard; the baby who opened her eyes from a nap and started laughing with delight just to see his face. But, those memories don't belong to Castiel. They're Jimmy's. To take courage or comfort from them would be a clear and cruel violation.
Claire in the present works on her denim jacket silently, repairing a tear from the wolf-man they'd hunted earlier with a thick, black thread. Her jacket is heavily patched, some repairs just thread and others covered over with logos and images. Cas had thought he recognised AC/DC in the mix, but when he'd pointed it out that morning Claire had just scoffed and rolled her eyes, so maybe he's wrong.
The way she sews is harsh, tugging the needle through the same way she pulled her knife out of the wolf-man's body. Cas has seen her do it gently before - stitching up a wound on Alex with precision and care even as they bickered viciously about who's fault it was that they'd got caught in the first place, and when applying a patch that Donna had got her that said "MAMA'S LITTLE BEAR <3" on it. Right now, though, she's mad. She has every right to be.
Read on ao3
#claire novak#castiel supernatural#cas and claire#fathers /#claire's grief#every time I reread this to edit it I DID start crying#i love my dad 😭😭😭#i wrote a different short story about hair-care which was about loving my mum lol#autistic castiel#not to quote the mcu of all things but literally what is grief if not love persevering.#cawis creates#suptober23#close shave
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yes I do have an agenda, it is Autistic Jack Kline and AuDHD Claire Novak as siblings 💕
#autistic jack kline#audhd claire novak#my blorbos#my babies#my biological children#claire novak#jack kline#supernatural#spn#dean winchester#castiel
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good news guys i just posted a new fic, it's called in the stands!
"jack's teeball team is having their final game of the season. with dean as coach and ben as assistant coach, the whole family decides to come watch, including cas, who struggles with loud places and chaotic events.
OR
is their family a bit messy, gigantic, and complicated? yeah, it is, but that doesn't mean they can't all cheer on jack's teeball team."
#fic#fanfiction#fanfic#spn#supernatural#dean winchester#jack kline#claire novak#castiel#autistic castiel#tw ableism#outsider pov#destiel#dean is a very good husband
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i don’t know nothing (and that’s fine)
the long awaited 7k magdaclaire fic | title is from knowledge by green day
"Do you know where I was when Sam and Dean had to bring me back?" she asks, almost not waiting for the beat of silence she would leave in a typical conversation, waiting for a response; she doesn't expect a response from Magda. No one ever really does. Magda, rarely one to do as others expect of her, focuses her gaze on Claire for a moment before Claire loses her gaze to the wall again.
"No idea," she says, though her tone doesn't give much to indicate that she cares. Claire presses on anyway.
"Got napped while working a case I didn't tell Alex or Jody about. Almost died. Now, nobody will let me out of their goddamned sight," Claire summarizes poorly, shrugging her shoulders as if it's not a very big deal. Her hands are tucked behind her back to make sure that they don't shake. Magda frowns.
"Is there an insinuation here that we have comparable situations? Is that why you brought it up? Because-" she starts, but Claire shakes her head, hands whipped out to be held up, placating.
"No, dude!" she exclaims, then continues, "You went through a lot of shit. I'm not trying to- like- compare anything, or play Trauma Olympics with you or anything, it's just that sometimes it's easier to talk to people about your own shit if you already know some of theirs. Equal exchange, you know? Not that you have to say anything, so we're clear. Free rights kinda house around here, Peterson," Claire jokes, catching the way that Magda flinches at the sound of her own surname. Okay, noted. Never fucking calling her that again. Abusive fuckheads.
"My Mama- I killed two people with my mind. But even before that, my Mama thought I was the devil. Because I can do things. Hurt her with my mind on accident, and it's like- she never looked at me the same. Decided all at once I wasn't her daughter anymore. One accident, and I was done. I still can't really control it. That's why I don't want anyone in here. So if you don't mind," Magda says, very clearly dismissing Claire in her quiet Iowan accent. Claire sits down on top of Magda's clear-topped dresser, sure that it'll hold her weight. Magda has a mom that's nothing like Claire's- stayed around and lost her mind confronted with power, tried to lock it (lock her daughter) away so that she would never have to confront it again, didn't run away from responsibility like Claire's own mother, but tried to take the bull by the horns and make it into beef herself. She forgot that the beast was her daughter. Even having just met Magda, Claire'd be willing to break into her cell to remind her.
"Way it was told to me, you killed that social worker and that stock boy without them being in the room at all. If being alone now and just being safe is helping you, you're more than welcome to your alone time, but Magda, nobody is afraid of you just for having something you can't control. We've all been there," she says, her head dipped forward and her knees splayed apart. Her Mama never liked it when she left that space between her legs- Claire Elizabeth, you better keep an aspirin between your knees!- like Claire had even been old enough to have an interest in anybody by the time Mama took off. It's just how she's comfortable. Magda looks at her again, still real brief, but a wrinkle between her brows like she just can't help it, given her curiosity.
"What do you mean?" she asks, rubbing her fingertips along her wrist, and Claire's heels knock against the dresser. She came in here to help. That means talking about her shit too.
"The- uh- the hunt that Dean and Co picked me up from. Werewolf hunt. Got bitten. For most American hunters, it's pretty much a death sentence, if another hunter with you is willing to put you down. It was fucking scary is what it was," she says, not able to stop herself from being honest, words spilling out of her like water before she shores it up. Nothing like trying to help someone else that'll make you unpack your recently acquired trauma, or whatever the fuck. When she looks up, Magda is looking clean at her, no bullshit, no looking away, those big brown eyes deadlocked on Claire's. Claire clears her throat and makes herself continue. "Every day, nothing left in me anything but human, I still feel out of fuckin' control, Magda. Being that, I would rather have been put down. Every day, you are stronger for being alive. Don't let anybody take that from you."
Jesus Christ and all the apostles, somebody should put a muzzle on her. Who in God's good graces let her try and befriend the traumatized girl living in their house?
"You're very kind," Magda says, snapping Claire out of her head so fast she feels like she should get whiplash just from the emotional effect of it. Kind? That's sure as fuck a first. Claire takes a moment to process what Magda said, but then gives her a grin just a bit crooked, just a bit sardonic.
"I'm really not," she says, because she really isn't, and she doesn't really know how she made Magda think so. No one has ever made the misjudgement of character necessary to call her that, and never at such a short window of judgement that Claire feels she's barely had time to earn it at all. Magda, doing as Magda seems to tend to do when Claire says much at all, frowns.
"Alex has told me that you're a very guarded person, and yet you're in here telling me about something that seems to be very hard for you, in such a way that it seems to be because you believe it will help me. That is a very kind thing to do for a stranger, Claire," Magda says, her voice small and soft, but as level as it has been the entire time; it's the most Claire thinks anyone has heard her speak her entire stay. It hadn't occurred to her, however, that with Magda not speaking much, the others would be filling in the gaps.
"Alex told you about me?" she asks, the question coming out of her mouth before she can hold it back, a bit more impulsive than she means to be.
"Did you think no one spoke to me til you came back?" Magda asks, and there's a little bit of a teasing lilt to her voice, her eyebrow raised, and oh no. Jesus alive. Does she have to be pretty too? Superpowers wasn't enough. Jesus alive. Claire rolls her eyes, reminding herself to recover, to roll with the punches, as it were. As if. She's better in a fight than she is alone in a room with a pretty girl, isn't she?
"Well, all I've heard about is that you haven't said much, how was I supposed to know that it's because Alex has been running her mouth about me the whole damn time?" she says, rolling her eyes. Magda's wrinkled brow comes back something fierce.
"They told you I haven't talked much?" Magda asks, the curl of her curiosity trailing around her words. Claire raises an eyebrow at her, turning her exact expression from a moment ago back upon her.
"Did you think no one told me anything about the girl that moved in while I was gone?" she teases back, though she watches carefully as Magda's expression falls back into something carefully curated, something almost watched to it.
"How much I talk was relevant?" Magda asks, her voice back to that flatness she had when Claire first came in. Claire slides off the dresser, moving so that she can lean against the wall next to Magda's bed. Knowing that the animal (the girl, anything else, she won't be another person who takes humanity away from Magda Peterson) she's coming upon isn't entirely re-accustomed to people, she leaves a bit of distance between them, crossing her arms across her chest.
"Well, yeah, Mags," she says, her eyebrows creased as she tries to come up with a way to explain the dynamic that Jody has fostered in this house, the way that everyone just fucking cares all the time. "We care about how you're doing, you know- even me. You're not alone here. No one is gonna tell you what to do or how to do it, but someone is gonna care if you aren't talking or eating or even if you just need somebody to sit with you for a while, somebody around here is always gonna care about that. Jody, Alex, hell, come to me. If you need somebody or whatever. You don't have to stay in your room if you wanna come out," she says, and she tries not to stutter over her wording. It's always fucking coming out isn't it. She stops herself from adding anything else, yearning for her typical reticence where Magda's very existence seems to pull words out of her by the dozen.
Magda's face is turned down when Claire looks at her, and for a second she's a little worried. No need. "Mags," the other girl says to herself softly, and Claire's blush comes in hot across her nose.
"I give you an entire speech and you catch the part where I call you something that isn't your name? I can cut it out if you want," she says, eyes alright averted from Magda when Magda's hand darts out to grab her wrist, her fingertips gentle but cold.
"No! You. You can call me that. If you want," Magda says, her feet off the edge of the bed like she would have gotten up just to stop Claire from- from not calling her Mags anymore? And Claire can't stop the smile that spreads across her face.
"Sure, Mags. Whatever you want."
From there, Magda takes her at her word. This is the truth with Magda often, but it is especially true when Magda is in need of a person to talk to, in need of a hand to hold, in need of anything at all, because when she needs that, it is most often Claire that she finds. She comes out of her room with more and more regularity, til seeing her little dark hard peak down the hallway is more of a marker of breakfast being ready than an oddity in need of being investigated. The fact that Claire happens to follow where she goes is more a matter of her own embarrassment than a show of concern.
"Feel like you and Magda can detach for a bit so I can drag you to a store, or do I have to go by myself?" Alex asks, throwing herself onto the couch beside Claire completely without grace and additionally, completely without care. Claire doesn't know that she's ever met someone who was raised less like she was than Alex, knowing that this girl, her sister, basically functioned as a vampire juice box for her formative years makes Claire feel like she's got no room to complain about the bullshit she's muddled through. Between her and Magda, a girl could develop a complex. Speaking of Magda.
"Okay, first of all, Magda and me aren't attached, so detachment wouldn't be unnecessary anyway. But... why can't Magda come with us?" she asks, not at all because she hasn't left the house much since she came home from her werewolf hunt and met Magda, and most definitely not because she doesn't want Magda to need anything while she's gone. She doesn't even know if Mags has a phone! Alex rolls her eyes, but then her smile slips and she's just frowning at Claire like she's being a bit obtuse.
"Magda hasn't exactly left the house since she got here, Claire. I don't think she's gonna come to the store with us just because we ask," she says, her frown coming down even further until her mouth looks pursed, like how Claire's mom's would look sometimes when she was still around enough to worry about Claire. It makes her act quickly, wanting to take that look off of her sister's face.
"Hey Mags!" she calls to the other room, knowing Magda will be lingering in the library. That's where she said she would be anyway. Magda peaks her head out. Alex mouths Mags to herself silently. Everybody has something to say about what she calls Magda. Who cares? Magda likes it.
"Yes, Claire?" the girl herself asks, both of her hands on one side of the doorway of the library as she leans on it. She's so goddamn cute. Fuck.
"Wanna come to the store with us?" she asks, even though she doesn't even know why Alex wants to go to the store or what they're going for, and she hadn't even decided if she herself had wanted to go in the first place. Just the idea that Magda hasn't left the house since she got here is making her want to take the other girl on a drive that never ends, makes her want Magda on the wide open road, makes her want to see Magda in the sunshine. She doesn't know how it never occurred to her that she never had. Magda gives her a small smile.
"Yeah, okay. Let me get dressed?" she asks, tilting her head in the direction of her room. Claire grins.
"Sure, yeah," she says, and Magda nods, walking off. She's barely cleared the turn in the hallway before Alex grabs Claire's arm, startling her. She hadn't realized she had zoned in on Magda that hard. She turns to Alex.
"Dude, when did you guys get all buddy-buddy? I swear to God, do I work too much? Everybody else in this house needs a real job. I refuse to miss things," Alex says, her expression set in a deep frown, and Claire laughs. It's an ugly, giggle-snort sort of affair, half choked by Claire not wanting very much to laugh at all, but Alex is just so- the FOMO on some girls, you know? Sometimes, Alex is just so normal. It's the coolest thing about her.
"I talked to her as soon as I got home. You know we've been following each other around ever since. She's fun to have around," Claire says about Magda, though even she's not quite sure what she means by it. She's not really sure what's fun about Magda, except that it's every single thing about her- it's her scrunched up nose when she eats something with a texture she doesn't like, it's her twinkling-bell laughter when Claire says something that catches her off guard, it's the way she slips her hand into Claire's when they're watching movies together, like she just doesn't wanna go two hours not being able to touch her. It's not that anything that Magda does is particularly fun, but maybe rather that everything is more fun when it's done with her.
That's neither here nor there.
"Fuck, put shoes on, Magda is getting dressed. Can't still be sitting here when we're the ones who asked her to go somewhere," Alex says after a beat of silence, pushing Claire up off of the couch as if she can't move herself off it under her own steam. Man, they really don't tell you the risks, trials and tribulations related to acquiring an older sister in your late teens! Claire shoves Alex as they’re crossing the living room, just for fun.
"I'm gonna fucking kill you," Alex mutters under her breath. Claire grins.
"Ooooooh, I'm telling Jody, she said you're not allowed to threaten to kill me anymore. She's gonna give you that fucking face and you're gonna feel sooo bad about it," Claire says, thinking honestly about shoving Alex again, her laughter kept behind her teeth by the skin of them, when she's stopped short.
"What's Alex going to feel bad about?" Magda asks, her fingers wrapped around the polished amethyst hanging from her throat. The color purple suits her so well that it makes something stick in Claire's throat, some desperate kind of yearning that makes her feel stumbling and stupid, longing and lingering. She swallows past the effect of it, giving Magda her best smile.
"Just threatening to kill me, Mags, nothing major," she says, laughter wrapped around her teeth. Magda's eyebrows scrunch.
"I think that counts as major," she replies, concerned, and Alex groans.
"I'm not actually gonna kill her, Mags, it's like- a figure of speech, you know? 'Cause she's my little sister and she's annoying as hell? It's not an actual threat," Alex assures, not noticing as Magda's nose wrinkles when her nickname drops from Alex's mouth. Claire only notices because she looks at her so damn much, but she's not about to say anything about it. What's she supposed to say? You can't call her that? That's my nickname for her? She puts on her shoes quietly, almost missing when Magda next speaks.
"That's what Claire calls me, but I don't know if I'm comfortable with other people calling me that yet. That's okay, right?" Magda says, her words coming slow, difficult, and Claire wants to wrap herself around her, hold her in close. She knows that Magda can handle her own, can move shit with her mind, can do whatever the fuck she wants, but goddamn it, she shouldn't always have to look out for herself. Alex smiles at Magda with one of her exceptionally patient smiles, one of those ones she typically has on when she's in the Emergency Room, and she gives Magda a nod.
"Totally okay, Magda. You can be called whatever you want," she says, just the right mix of caring and encouraging, and Claire wishes she could fucking do that. She wishes she could just make people feel safe like Alex does, just slip into that persona that Alex has where people feel cared for, she wishes she knew what set of skills Alex developed to get that effect on people. Claire was never going to be a nurse- even if she had ended up normal, in her mother's dream hetero marriage with a couple of kids and if she had gotten to know her Dad instead of the Eldritch horror that wears his skin, working directly with people was never a part of her journey. When she was really little, she wanted to be a firefighter. An astronaut. Now, it doesn't feel like she would be able to do anything but exactly what she's doing right up until the gas runs out.
"To the store, shall we?" she asks her companions, yanking herself out of her head with great force. Magda gives her a small smile and nods, reaching out for Claire's hand. Claire gives it to her without any thought to the contrary, slipping her fingers between Magda's and dragging her out the door.
Magda and Alex's relationship continues to develop, though not as closely as Claire's own relationship with the younger girl; Magda still sticks to her like a burr on her worse days, more comfortable under Claire's arm than she seems to be anywhere else. Today is not one of Magda's worse days but Claire's, which, for some reason, makes Magda typically stick to her even more if Claire doesn't actually ask for alone time. Honestly, she doesn't even really want alone time right now. On days like today, when the guilt is rushing over and she's a stone beneath a rushing river's unforgiving current, maybe she doesn't have to be alone. Maybe laying on her bed with Magda is doable. Maybe.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Magda asks her when the sun is a bit too bright in the room, probably a little bit into the afternoon, and when they've been laying there for perhaps a little too long. It shouldn't bother her that Magda might not want to do exactly what they've been doing for the past two hours. It shouldn't make her chest hurt a little that Magda might want to go do something else; Magda spends more than half of her time in here, or wherever Claire is. It's cool if she wants to go when they're not even doing anything. "Just if you want to, Claire. We can just lay here," Magda says, contradicting every thought buzzing through Claire's head, and then she's grabbing Claire's hand on top of it, the weight of her fingers reassuring between her own.
Claire clears her throat, and yeah. Yeah, maybe she does want to talk about it. Can talk about it. With Magda.
"When Castiel-" she pauses, remembering that his name isn't carved into the internal dialogue of every girl with religious trauma from here to Texas, "the Winchesters' angel, I don't know if he was with them when they got you- when he came to Earth, he needed a vessel. A human strong enough to hold an angel, with strong enough faith to allow them in and allow them to stay." That's what the Winchester Gospels said about them anyway. Castiel just said that they needed to believe. They were special. Believers. Bullshit. "When Castiel came to Earth, he took my father. And then, when my father told him he couldn't stay anymore, Castiel approached me. Being a vessel, it's passed down in the family line. The blood. The body. All they need is the body. And I was a kid. He might as well have been God. So I said yes. And my father took him back. If you think about it, it's my fault that my dad is dead."
"You were a kid, Claire," Magda says, the words out of her mouth just after Claire is done with her own. She says it like it matters more than anything that damns Claire, like it is a virtue unalienable, like she shouldn't have known better. Claire doesn't catch herself before she squeezes Magda's hand, fingers tightening before nearly letting go entirely, embarrassed of the accident. She's not normally so skittish of Magda. Right now, it just feels like everybody is gonna fucking leave.
"I should have known better. What angel is gonna take a kid as a vessel? Of course he was trying to get my dad back. But I just fucking believed." It comes out nearly a sob, her free hand pulling at her hair trying to make her come back to her senses, and she's turning toward Magda before she knows what she's doing and Magda is pulling her over, pulling her in. Claire ends up mostly on top of the other girl, but she's not thinking much about it, her vision blurred with tears she hasn't let out since she was ten years old and moving in with her grandmother with little to no explanation from her mother. She never had a body to bury despite losing both her parents at once. There never was a funeral. There always was a mourner.
"It's okay, Claire. Whatever you need, baby. Whatever you need," Magda murmurs into her hair, and Claire shivers, because Jody cares for her but Claire nearly never lets her, and Alex loves her but it's not like they really hug, but Magda is holding her like she's worth the tear stains and Claire thinks she might crack apart if she lets her. She called her baby. A sob wracks Claire's chest.
"Magda," she says like it's ripped out of her, and Magda runs her hand along her back, her other hand buried in Claire's hair.
"Yeah, Claire, I'm here, it's okay," Magda whispers, pulling Claire even closer, close enough it feels like she could climb inside Magda's skin. Claire's face is pressed against Magda's shoulder and collarbone while Magda reaches behind her to fiddle around with something. It's only a second before Claire finds out what the other girl was doing, because the gray blanket she keeps laid out on her bed (which is the softest material she's ever felt and Jody bought it for her as soon as she showed she might actually like something) is coming down over her shoulders and spreading over her and Magda. All at once she feels warm all over, safe, like she and Magda are in a world all their own in a little blanket fort in room made only of the blanket and their bodies. She feels like a little girl. She feels a thousand years old.
"Mags, I'm so tired," she says, her eyelashes pressing against Magda's skin and making her eyes itch. She doesn't move them. Magda's fingers run through her hair.
"Go to sleep, Claire."
When Jody wakes them up a few hours later for dinner, she's very tactful in that she doesn't ask either of them any questions about the position that she found them in, but doing that thing Moms sometimes do when their kid has a prom date that they're not sure if that date is an actual date or not, sending Claire significant looks over the dining table and giving Magda little conversational nudges as if to ask any question resembling whether they were sleeping in the same bed in a platonic way without actually reaching that exact question. As if Magda is particularly good at inferring indirect questions. She typically guesses so incorrectly as to what people mean by being indirect that Claire usually tells her what people are talking around later. She can always tell that the talking around is happening, it's just that she so thoroughly doesn't understand the point of not being direct that it's hard for her to get what someone is trying to obscure. It's nice. Claire doesn't know that she's ever been around someone who bullshits as little as Magda.
She doesn't know that she's going to tell Magda about this particular instance, though. She really can't afford to make her uncomfortable. Not when she's gone and let herself get this attached. In fact, she should think about going and getting herself unattached, if she's smart about it.
Even if Magda's nothing like her mother, even if she's the sweetest girl Claire has ever met, and even if she has actual superpowers, there's no telling as to whether she'd be even accepting of somebody like Claire. Lesbians. Hell, queer people as a whole. She wouldn't be the first homophobe Claire's ever met, nor the first to ever earn her trust, and fuck, she wouldn't be the first one to hurt her feelings. She knows her Mama would never have- even her Daddy- fuck.
She's gotta stop feeling like this with Magda. She's probably gotta leave again. Something. Despite the fact that she told herself she was taking a break after the werewolf case, she starts looking for cases whenever Magda is doing her time in the library, reading every book she can get her hands on like somebody's gonna take them away. Well. That's probably a bit too apt. She cannot be thinking about Magda's past right now. She can leave for a week. Two, even. This girl has not made her so desperate to stay in such a relatively short time that the idea of going on a case makes her feel a little sick. That's not what is happening right now.
She's never gonna get any higher education, but if there was any degree in lying to yourself, she'd probably have a masters degree in denial by now.
The house is quieter when she's trying not to stick to Magda as much, being as avoiding Magda damn near means avoiding everyone in the house. Jody has her whenever she gets a day off at least for a few hours, always leaving room in her schedule for Magda and the thing that they do where they've been trying to make each other better at cooking by muddling through it together. Alex takes her shopping whenever she wants to leave the house, books bought on her Daddy's estate money seeing as no one had been living on the farm anymore, and Claire isn't supposed to be hearing about Magda's excursions while she's trying to separate herself from this. Donna, now that she's moved in, goes on nature walks with Magda.
She's not sure why she knows when and how and why everyone spends time with Magda, but the idea that other people are spending more time with her than she is doesn't feel great.
Despite the fact that she's trying to pull away, she just can't fucking help it sometimes, you know? It's like, Magda Peterson is not a girl that is meant to look sad, if you've got any bit of soul left in you. Any bit of heart. Too much heart. Anyway. When Magda is upset, there's just something wrong about it, like Claire can't be happy if she isn't, like Claire can't focus on anything else until she knows what's going on in that pretty little head of hers. Jesus alive, she needs a case. Instead, she's sitting next to Magda in the low lamplight of Magda's bedroom, listening to the quiet of her fucking piano version of the first Green Day album playing from the computer, the notes coming out slightly tinny. Jesus, Mary and Joseph, she's got big dyke feelings for a girl who listens to piano covers of punk bands. Isn't that the worst thing you've ever heard?
"You wanna talk about it?" Claire asks, being as that's how all of their conversations lately seem to begin. On bad days, anyway. Magda doesn't quite look at her yet.
"Something has been wrong with you too, lately," she says, just loud enough to be heard over the music. Her tone is one that brokers no argument, and Claire doesn't know anybody who does as little bullshit as Magda, but Jesus. She never will sugarcoat anything. It's always gonna be a bitter pill.
"Maybe, but this isn't about me," Claire replies, frowning. Magda finally looks up at her, her expression mostly flat, except for barely a flick of a smile.
"I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours," she says, so close to flirtation that Claire feels like she's spinning on a knife's edge, a ballerina on a point. She clears her throat. Tell the truth? To know what's bothering Magda? It's not like Claire is closeted. Magda is going to know eventually. It's a question of whether she's going to know because Claire told her, and because Claire told her all of her worries about it, or because it was sprung on her out of nowhere. Suddenly, and with a rush of bravery that she's not sure she should feel, Claire chooses the fate she keeps in her own hands.
"Sometimes, because of my mom, I guess, I feel like I'm bad. Evil. Because I like girls." She doesn't mention how it makes her scared in every single friendship, in every single relationship, every single day, but still the admission takes everything out of Claire that she has in her, more than she might have had in the first place. She tries not to think about how that fear might also be related to her father, his faith so unshakeable when he took Castiel on that he stuck his hand in a pot of boiling water- she had read that in the Winchester Gospels, awful fucking books they are- and she doesn't know that losing faith in God would have taken the small town boy out of her Daddy. She refuses to be grateful for Castiel. She refuses to be grateful for not living a normal life. Her eyes are clenched shut, but she feels it when Magda's fingers lace with her own.
"Do you think I'm evil, Claire?" she asks, her voice calm and small, level like Magda, and Claire clears her throat to speak.
"No," she says, and it comes out as a croak. Magda squeezes her fingers, a silent benediction. An offer of comfort, clear and freely given. Jesus.
"Thanks," Magda says, which is admittedly a little funny when one is getting thanks for not thinking one's friend is evil, and then she says, "Not even because I like girls?" and Claire blinks.
"Oh, you- you too?" she asks, feigned casualty completely useless with Magda laying close enough for their shoulders to brush, to feel when she stops breathing at a typical rate. She gets a nod in return.
"I think so. Maybe always. It's not like my mom knew, not like that's what she was- she didn't know to be mad about that. She would have, though. She would have hated it. She'd hate it still," Magda says, her eyes cast off in the great big somewhere she goes off to sometimes when her eyes aren't on Claire, and Claire is off of her back before she even thinks of it, her weight moving to her elbow and her other hand cupping Magda's face.
"Hey, fuck your mom, man. You're perfect, Mags. Just the way you are. She'd be fucking lucky to get to know you," Claire assures her friend, Magda fucking Peterson, Magda who rarely has a mean word to say about anyone, even if she has a hell of a verbal right hook coming along, if Claire has anything to do with it. The point! The point is that there's no reason to hate Magda. And even if there fucking was. Nobody deserves what Magda got. Claire realizes, suddenly, that she's cupping Magda's face, leaning over her on Magda's bed in the mostly-darkness that Magda tends to prefer, but Magda's hand, placed quietly and carefully on top of Claire's own, stops her from taking it back.
"Your mom would be lucky too, Claire. Really... really fucking lucky," Magda says, dropping the curse word awkwardly, and Claire grins at her, wants to kiss her. She wants to kiss her so bad it aches in her chest, wants to kiss Magda like the coming of the tide, an ocean in her belly overwhelming her with want for this girl. She's pretty like stained glass windows of the Virgin Mary, pretty like pictures of Mary Magdalene in picture book Bibles, pretty like Magda, smiling up at Claire from her back, her hand holding Claire's hand to her face. Claire wants to kiss her. Ask her on a date. Ask her to dance. She makes herself brave.
"Could I-" she starts. Magda's hand moves to Claire's jaw.
"Please," she says, and Claire thinks she might melt. Instead, she meets Magda in the middle where the other girl is straining up against her, leans down and brings their lips together and lets herself have this. Magda's mouth is soft and warm, and the sparks where their lips meet make her feel like she's going to spring into light, make her feel as close as she's been to Heaven since she was a vessel. She swings her hips over Magda's just so that she can free the hand holding her up, lace those fingers with Magda's, hold her hand and kiss her too, old comfort and new intimacy.
"Jesus, Mary and Joseph, Magda," she says, kissing Magda again as soon as she separates their lips, desperate for a touch she never ever guessed that she could have. She can finally taste Magda's smile.
"This is even better than I thought it would be," the other girl says, quiet like Claire maybe isn't supposed to hear, but she tilts Magda's head up, thumb under her chin.
"What were you thinking about?" she asks, wondering wildly if Magda had wanted to kiss her too, if Magda had wanted more, if Magda wants to hold her hands all the time and cook meals together and come on hunts with Claire someday, maybe, or when Claire is ready to stop hunting, settle down and be someone together. She's not sure what she wants. She's just pretty sure that she wants it with Magda. She'd like to figure it out with Magda.
"Kissing girls. Kissing you. Being with you," Madga says, everything that Claire wants and yet the bare version of it, simple and safe. Jesus alive, she's so easy to want to kiss. It's never been so easy to want. Claire bumps her nose against Magda's, knowing well enough she's looking at Magda like she hung the goddamn moon, but not knowing well enough to stop. How can she stop? She kisses Magda again just to be safe.
"I want that too," she whispers, tells it like a secret she's hiding in the apple of Magda's cheek, her knees coming down on Magda's sides as she settles into her straddling her. The move only flusters her more as she considers the consequences of her actions (which she never really considers before doing anything), but Magda's hands come up around the backs of her thighs before she can get too embarrassed. She moves her face from where she had hidden herself in Magda's shoulder length hair.
"You want to be with me?" Magda asks, smiling up at Claire so prettily she thinks she might burst into flames, and she should have stayed hiding her face. It's hard to think that when Magda looks at her like that, though. Claire nods, and then she thinks again where this conversation started, brushing her nose against Magda's cheek.
"What was... what's on your mind? Or what was before this, I mean," she asks, nudging her nose against Magda's face again as she says this, because it feels like this is gonna make her burst into a thousand little confetti pieces of herself. Magda's hands squeeze her for a second, reflexive, as Magda frowns, her eyebrows wrinkling.
"You haven't been yourself lately," Magda says, and she tilts her face up so that their foreheads rest against each other for a moment, fleeting, before leaving space between them again. "I got scared. Thought I scared you. Didn't know what was going on," she continues, her expression back to that insecure place, and Claire rests her head against Magda's once again. It burns in her chest to think that she hurt Magda with her own fucked up fear, the things that were sowed into her that only she could reap. But she doesn't have to linger here, and she has to fucking remember that. You can't fix anything from under the ground. Jody told her something like that once. Can't fix anything trying to dig yourself down.
"I'm sorry, Mags. Got caught up in my head. You didn't scare me at all, okay? Never scared of you. Not once," she says, and she kisses Magda again, soft and careful and clear in her intentions. She never wants Magda to think she's scared of her. Magda kisses her back with no small amount of intention herself, one of her hands moving to Claire's face to cup her jaw, Magda's sure fingertips sweeping over Claire's face. Her hands are so careful that Claire's going to lose her mind. She dives into the kiss, deepening it. Magda hums, a noise that makes Claire want more of it immediately, more of all of this, more of Magda.
Jesus on the Cross, this is going to be a problem, isn't it?
And it is.
She likes Magda so much it makes her look stupid, but it helps that Magda likes her at least as much. As much as Mags hung off her before, she only feels more entitled to it now, now mostly forgoing holding her hand for her new move of jumping onto Claire's back in the hallway, knowing that Claire will catch her. As uncomfortable as she is with her powers, she'll move something from across the room if it means that Claire won't have to get off of her lap. All of the tiny things that make her Magda fascinate Claire endlessly, like studying veins in flowers or grooves in tree bark, details that make a beautiful thing whole. She sounds terribly infatuated. It's maybe the youngest she's ever felt.
Claire smiles where she sits cross legged on the floor. They're supposed to be straightening up Magda's room- or rather, Magda had planned to be cleaning up her room, and had abandoned the plan immediately when Claire had come in, flopping onto her bed with her bag of books (still not unpacked from their recent trip to a book sale). It's mostly clean anyway, only two of the bookcases still somewhat cluttered, and that's okay. It looks fine. It looks lived in. Magda just looks pretty from where she stares over at Claire with that usual steady stare of hers, her face all round and upside down and sweet looking. Claire is so fucking fond of her that she looks stupid.
"I think I need another bookcase," Magda says, hand resting on the bag of books idly. Claire snorts.
"You could probably do with a couple, Mags. I doubt you're fitting them in here, though," she says, looking at the two bookcases on the far side and then to the still two more on either side of Magda's bed, all four a bit overstacked with books. Between Magda's room and the library, you'd think she would have enough books, or at the very least, enough room for them. But, you know, whatever makes her happy. "You can put a couple in my room if you want. It's not like I use the space for much," she suggests, thinking about the empty wall on the far side of her room. Once upon a time, she was going to put a desk there. Now, knowing that she doesn't really have any love of anything you might use a desk for, she can't think of a better use for the space than more of Magda's books.
"A couple books?" Magda asks, her voice a bit smaller. Claire raises an eyebrow. How the hell would only a couple of books be at all useful? She shakes her head.
"No, babe, a couple of bookcases. Really, I've got the space," she repeats. She looks back to Magda to find the other girl closer than she left her, so close that Claire catches her hands before she even thinks about it. Magda holds her fingers and slides up to kiss her, upside down and so sweet, Claire feels like she's got hearts coming off her goddamn head. It's an awkward angle, so it's only a quick little kiss, but God. Kissing Magda. Yeah.
"Thank you, Claire. You're- thank you," Magda says, stumbling over her words when she pulls back. She's nearly halfway off the bed, her chest on the corner, and Claire could pull her off if she was feeling a little mean. She hardly ever is where Magda is concerned. Alex calls her whipped when Magda isn't listening- well, it better be when Magda isn't listening. Otherwise, Alex is about to catch her hands.
"You're about to fall off the bed, Mags. Come on, let's get you back up," she says, standing from her crossed legs and lifting the other girl back onto the bed sideways (which is actually rightways, now) so that her head is back up on the pillow. Magda is grinning up at her when she sets her back onto the comforter, and God above, Claire is a little whipped, isn't she? She dips down and kisses Magda on the forehead for her trouble, fully committing to the bit of whatever it is that she's got going on. Magda giggles. Claire kisses her again, a real kiss this time, and sets her knees on either side of Magda, the bag of books nudged to the very end of the bed. Making out with Magda in a bed with books in it. Sounds like something she could do.
#clairemagda#magdaclaire#claire novak#magda peterson#besties this fic has permanently altered my brain chemistry#mine#spn#if you read this please know that this is my magnum opus. not least of all bc it will be my fic 200 on ao3. but listen mostly bc of the fic#it's Here.#magda is autistic gang rise up#use of the word dyke by a lesbian writer and character
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Skin-Deep
Skin-Deep
https://ift.tt/1Zmcwe5
by golbygloom
Castiel's been beyond happy in his relationship with Dean for over a year, but meeting Dean's ex-girlfriend brings back insecurities he thought more or less disappeared, leading him to question things he never considered before. Maybe it was foolish to think any self-consciousness stemming from the large, prominent scar spanning across the majority of his face could ever truly disappear…
Words: 9122, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M
Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel (Supernatural), Castiel, Claire Novak, Anna Milton, Pamela Barnes (Supernatural), Lisa Braeden
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Dorothy Baum/Charlie Bradbury (background), Castiel & Claire Novak, Pamela Barnes & Castiel, Castiel & Anna Milton, past Dean Winchester/Other(s) - Relationship
Additional Tags: Hurt Castiel (Supernatural), Castiel Has Self-Worth Issues (Supernatural), Castiel Has Self-Esteem Issues (Supernatural), Scarred Castiel (Supernatural), Self-Conscious Castiel (Supernatural), Scars, Emotionally Hurt Castiel (Supernatural), Protective Dean Winchester, Supportive Dean Winchester, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Established Relationship, Hurt Dean Winchester, Emotionally Hurt Dean Winchester, not because of cas, Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Castiel and Dean Winchester Use Their Words, Claire Novak Tries to Help, Insecure Castiel (Supernatural), Insecure Dean Winchester, they're both messes oops, Implied Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester, Gay Castiel (Supernatural), Protective Anna Milton, Autistic Castiel (Supernatural), Oops, Castiel Needs a Hug (Supernatural), Castiel Gets a Hug (Supernatural), POV Castiel (Supernatural), Bisexual Dean Winchester
via AO3 works tagged 'Castiel/Dean Winchester' https://ift.tt/TOpYq9C
March 31, 2024 at 11:21AM
#IFTTT#AO3 works tagged 'Castiel/Dean Winchester'#Destiel#ao3feed#ao3feed Destiel#Destiel fanfic#Dean Winchester/Castiel#Castiel/Dean Winchester#Dean x Castiel#Castiel x Dean
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How To Fall In Love (For Dummies)
read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/JcVaU8K
by incandescentlifeline
Dean Winchester hates fall. And winter. And spring. He hates it all, honestly. But at least he gets free coffee from The Rusty Patched Bumblebee, and bagels every morning (courtesy of his roommate). No, he’s not falling in love with his roommate. God, what a cliché. Ew.
Or
Castiel is trying to run his coffee shop in peace, but when Dean Winchester becomes his best friend and roommate, that all devolves into madness. He didn’t know just how different his life would be with Dean in it. And just how hard he would fall for him. He knows, such a cliché. Dear Lord.
Words: 2822, Chapters: 3/?, Language: English
Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005)
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Categories: M/M
Characters: Dean Winchester, Endverse Sam Winchester, Castiel (Supernatural), Bobby Singer, Jack Kline, Claire Novak, Eileen Leahy, Crowley (Supernatural), Real Human Meg Masters | Demon Meg's Host, Jimmy Novak (Supernatural), Kelly Kline (Supernatural)
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Castiel & Sam Winchester, Castiel & Claire Novak, Castiel/Real Human Meg Masters | Demon Meg's Host, Bobby Singer & Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester
Additional Tags: LGBTQ Character, Trans Male Character, Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings, Trans Dean Winchester, Gay Castiel (Supernatural), Bisexual Dean Winchester, Bobby Singer is Dean and Sam Winchester's Parent, dean needs a goddamn hug bro, someone give him a hug, Protective Dean Winchester, Protective Castiel (Supernatural), Autistic Castiel (Supernatural), Castiels special interest is bees fight me, castiel is a certified cat lover, Dean Winchester Has Self-Worth Issues, Self-Harm, Mental Health Issues, it’s not THAT sad I don’t think but like be warned, praying I don’t get hit by author curse by posting this, Supportive Bobby Singer (Supernatural), we love you Bobby singer, Abusive John Winchester, Bad Parent John Winchester, Absent John Winchester, I hate you John Winchester, Protective Sam Winchester, Everyone Is Gay, Not beta read no one i know shall ever see this, I hope, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Tags May Change
read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/JcVaU8K
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Thrifting
read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/vwbXna2
by kaerfemina
Claire takes Castiel shopping at a thrift store to get his wardrobe up to snuff after coming back from the Empty human. Cas finds some interesting articles of clothing...
Words: 2321, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Dean Winchester, Castiel (Supernatural), Claire Novak, Kaia Nieves
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel & Claire Novak
Additional Tags: Human Castiel (Supernatural), Newly Human Castiel (Supernatural), Autistic Castiel (Supernatural), Dean Winchester Has ADHD, Emotionally Repressed Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings, Post-Canon Fix-It, Fix-It of Sorts
read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/vwbXna2
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my extremely in-depth and hyperspecific “trans” castiel headcanon is something i want to talk about or at least just put down in words for myself
i think of cas’s human body, the formerly owned by jimmy novak body, as a trans man, and i think of castiel the angel residing within it as existing completely outside of human gender terms and ideas BUT as someone who is okay with most masculine or neutral terms.
i think cas would have chosen short term vessels for convenience and not really been picky about the physical bodies of those, but with his present day body, he chose something he would be comfortable existing in long-term, because he knew this time it might be needed. tied to my preference of headcanoning cas as the angel equivalent of autistic, or separate from it idgaf, i think cas would have looked for a human body with, like, no bits sticking off. no dick no balls no boobs. they get in the way and can be uncomfortable and inconvenient and sensitive to pain. don’t want that. feels like something cas would do. so, choosing a guy to be his vessel who had none of that was just perfect for him.
tied to the important headcanon of jimmy novak being a trans man, i think that 1. his wife almost certainly did know, though i’m not too picky on whether it was otherwise a secret or touchy subject or not, 2. claire is not biologically related to him and was probably like a sperm donor baby or something like that 3. as you already know by what i said in the beginning, jimmy novak was a top surgery and testosterone only for transition type of guy. half of me says this because i am projecting and thats what i want to ultimately be so i want to see myself represented in a character i love (being castiel, but since he is like, possessing a body that originally belonged to someone else, you see my point) and also because i feel like not wanting any hangly bits is something that would fit cas.
for angel gender overall, i headcanon all angels as, at least originally, existing completely outside of any human concepts of gender. upon creation all angels have the same gender, which is also the same as having no gender, as there’s nothing else to compare it to. there are no Man Angels or Women Angels except for and until humans begin forming ideas of gender, and some angels learn about it either just from watching or from possessing human vessels and interacting with society, and decide they identify with some aspects of some of the many, Many genders that exist and have existed in various societies and cultures. i think the wide majority of angels would still not feel attachments to any gender for themselves, but many would have preferences for their human vessels, clothing and other presentation aspects, pronouns, titles, etc. i think angels would, as we have seen in the show, generally keep the presentation aspects their vessels had previously because speaking as an androgynous trans person it is just Easier and Simpler to interact with society if people can easily categorize you into a binary gender slot. and i think usually, angels would not be super into spending a lot of time explaining their genderweird presentation shit to nosy humans when they’re only on earth to get a job done. though in times of greater acceptance and wider presentation variability in humans, i think lots of angels would gladly take the opportunity to follow suit.
as for cas’s gender specifically, i think of him as roughly agender. i think he would accept being referred to as a man or a dude or a guy because 1. he understands that his physical appearance of his vessel lends itself to human assumption and 2. it generally does not bother him to be casually gendered in a masculine way. i think if it got down to specifics, though, cas would say he isn’t a man. kind of like how when dean was talking about benjamin, he said something like “so benjamin’s a woman?” and cas replied with something like “no, benjamin is an angel. his vessel is a woman.” using pronouns generally associated by humans with a gender, but, despite having an opportunity to say benjamin is A Man, not saying that and instead just saying benjamin is an angel. and i hc that this is how castiel would think of himself, though he just happens to be okay with the pronouns most frequently assumed by people based on the way his formerly-vessel-now-body looks.
i think overall cas would be fine with he/him or they/them, okay with most neopronouns too, and not that fond of she/her. i do, though, think he might like gender neutral titles better than gendered ones, like partner over boyfriend, sibling over brother, parent over dad or father, etc. but still be okay with the masculine titles, just slightly prefer neutral ones. i don’t think he would like most typically feminine titles like mother or sister or wife or anything like that. maybe he would be okay with a few on rare occasions depending on who it comes from.
cas is obviously not big on self expression in the form of clothing, and i generally attribute that to practicality and lack of interest. i extend that in my headcanon to things like makeup (inconvenient, not necessary, not interested in using it to try to be attractive to anyone, bad physical sensation on skin), body hair removal (its there. who cares. if it wasnt meant to be there it wouldnt be there. except facial hair because that is annoying and itchy.), and clothing that is flashy and/or uncomfortable (physical comfort and practicality being priority, he just wears what jimmy novak wore most of the time in canon aside from when he was human but i do like to imagine that in a fix-it of post canon he might have a LITTLE more variety in there, maybe at jack’s encouragement at first, idk). i think he might on rare occasions try stuff like painting his nails (or letting someone else like claire or jack or whoever) but only like. minimal stuff that wont be physically unpleasant. or like i said about the clothes, stuff thats simple and soft and comfortable. but mostly, just what is necessary for basic functioning-in-society purposes.
annnnnnnd i don’t think cas would really consider himself Trans. like for us as fans thinking about it and putting it into words i would say trans cas or trans headcanon just to mean i dont think he is a cis man but like… if you wanna get specific. detailed. pinpoint accuracy. i think angels are Not assigned a gender at “birth” and therefore kind of cant be transgender but for our purposes we kind of would consider him to be. he isnt a binary gender but isnt really Trans gender. its complicated. its messy. its trying to apply human terms to someone and something that isnt human and cannot fully be represented by terms we made to reflect us and our experiences.
this is ungodly levels of long now holy shit im sorry but i think thats everything damn
#im so sorry everyone i do have to tag this for my followers blacklisting purposes#supernatural#castiel#aaaeeeyyyyy got on desktop so put it under a readmore
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oh guys btw i know people have asked “why the fuck are the novaks having sandwiches and glasses of milk for dinner in that one scene in ‘the rapture’” many times, and im pleased to reveal that it is becuz both jimmy and claire are autistic and those are their safe samefoods :)
#txt#jimmy novak#claire novak#jimmy jthursday#jimmy#i might not show up in tags idk what’s going on w my blog rn. but i am posting for the event nonetheless#they’re bland samefood autistics what can i say 😌
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thrift stores x tfw 2.0
(this got really really long, i basically grew up in thrift stores so i have a lot of ideas and feelings. i may add more at some point tbh)
okay i mean dean and sam are poor, they have credit card scams but you can not tell me they don’t shop second hand
their wardrobe styles are very much things that are always in stock at goodwills and thrift stores
john probably had dean buy clothes and stuff for him and sam so dean probably grew up getting anything him and sam needed at thrift stores.
this is when john would remember to though or give them enough money, there were definitely times when it had been too long and sam had holes in their shoes or their jeans were to short because they were growing like a weed. and dean could only give sam hand me downs for so long and it’s not like they could carry many extra clothes around. (though bobby didn’t mind keeping a box of them for dean to save for sam.) when this happened either dean being dean would probably go out and play pool or etc to get money or use as little money for himself to get sam what he needed. or if they saw bobby, he would notice and take them.
but once they have the bunker they finally have a home and dean is so excited to have a room and make it feel like home. he’s never been able to really have belongings. it was always whatever they could take in the impala.
so this leads him to thrift shopping for some things to make his room and the bunker feel more like home
he hopes this will lead sam to do it or at least make him feel a bit like they have a home, he knows sam never even had the memory of having a home, which makes it different.
dean would 100% get knickknacks of scooby doo, star trek, back to the future, western movies, etc and have them in his room.
he would finallly be able to get a dvd or vhs player and get a collection of movies, and while he can always pirate stuff on his computer. he likes being able to finally have physical things. he’s also able to expand his archie comics collection from a couple to a lot more.
sam likes going to second hand book stores a lot. just for casual reading but also they never know what they will find and could come across some old books about monsters/angels etc. while sam is hesitant about decorating their room, they do like having a nice book collection in their room.
the more cas stays at the bunker, the more dean comes back from thrift shopping with something for cas. cas doesn’t have a lot of belongings being an angel but they do have random objects on their dresser. like dried flowers, rocks, acorns, pine cones, etc. maybe it just caught his eye maybe it was on a day with a moment they’d like to remember. but then dean starts bringing him random things that dean would awkwardly say some variation of, “it reminded me of you.” or “i thought you could use this.” a lot of it is bee related, sometimes angel related because dean thinks it’s funny, or just some weird little figurine of a monkey or a mouse or some shit.
eventually dean takes cas with him and cas likes seeing all the stuff. he likes vintage stuff or finding things that are unknowingly really old. a lot of the time dean and him will play a game where dean has to guess what year something is from. they also always try to find a funny/weird mug for the other.
cas likes finding peoples framed embroidery or other craft like things. it feels so human to them, unique things made by human hands, and it connects them to humanity.
when the 3 of them all go, cas can tell when things are cursed and likes pointing them out for sam or sometimes sam will guess which things are cursed. then they end up buying them much to dean’s annoyance. it’s worse when sam and cas go alone because they come back with more cursed things when they don’t have dean to get them not to.
when jack is born they spend more time then they have in a long time having thrift shopping days
helping him build up a wardrobe for himself and finding the clothes they like, and later on helping them find suits and such for hunting.
sometimes thrifting clothes is stressful for jack. sometimes clothes being used means they are softer and worn down. but other times it means they are scratchy and cause sensory issues.
jack loves finding space, star wars, or disney things to decorate their room.
sometimes his parents will come back from hunts with a thing they found for them.
at some point dean decides he spends so much time in the kitchen he should make it more fun. so he decides to make it a little more 50s dinner esc, which isn’t hard in thrift stores. and while the bunker is from around then it’s not colorful at all. so dean gets some towels or containers for flour or sugar. some vintage pyrex bowls when they aren’t too much. the dishes in the bunker are plain and while they have spiced up the cabinets with weird mugs, it’s not a lot. so they end up with mix matched sets of dishes and glasses that dean finds cool, jack likes the feel of the glasses, etc.
cas definitely comes home with a bee themed cookie jar and awkwardly says i know it doesn’t match exactly but i thought it was nice. and dean says of course it matches and it would be perfect for jack’s favorite cookies.
they start getting board games to alternate game nights and movie nights every week. they get a collection of fun old games and weird games.
jack sees kids on tv/movies getting read books before bed and expresses an interest in this. they all agree that it’s a good idea for jack since they had to grow up too fast and didn’t get to really be a kid. and so they start getting classic fairytales and children’s books when they go thrifting. (link to my post about the kinds of books they read to jack)
when dean, cas, sam, jack, and eileen go altogether. eileen will encourage sam and cas’ cursed object shopping. dean would be more upset about it, if he didn’t love thrifting with eileen so much. she’s always able to spot the cool things that dean misses. and she loves looking for star wars things with jack and it always ends with one or both of them excitedly infodumping to the other. and bonding over their deep star wars knowledge.
when claire starts coming around more, they sometimes find new little things that cas, dean, or jack found thrifting left on their dresser.
#this just kept getting longer#i could probably talk all day about them thrifting and taking other people or getting things for them#i was just like walking through thrift stores i’ve been to a lot in my head while i wrote this#ahh i just keep remembering things and adding them#rey actually speaks#rey’s spn hcs#supernatural#spn#dean winchester#sam leahy#castiel winchester#jack kline-winchester#eileen leahy#claire novak#autistic headcanon#<there are some autistic things mentioned#tfw 2.0#long post#destiel#kind of#fic inspo#gif#neurodivergenatural#rey writes
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i wish dean winchester a very 'family date to the international workers' day protest' day <3
they lose Claire bc she's going to the feminist part of the cortège. "i'll be fine it's a legal protest and Kaia is there"
she eventually punches a guy bc he touches her waist and she complains about day-time-huge-protests-with-old-commie and Kaia reminds her of the queer protest on the 17th to look forward to
Jack got noise-cancelling headphones and Dean & Cas take turns putting him on their shoulders so he isn't overwhelmed by the crowd
it's a hot day so Dean regrets bringing a flanel and it ends up putting it around his waist and he keeps complaining about it and Cas just repeats "told you so" even tho he's wearing his trenchcoat ("idk dean i need pockets" "for what??" "the snacks & water you're gonna forget to bring" (he has a point))
Sam doesn't do protest bc it triggers his paranoia but he's chilling with Eileen watching Pride (2014)
Dean texts fuck ceos memes to Crowley who responds by various "I QUIT" "once a leader always a leader sorry xx" "tell that to your angel" "he's above the rules actually :)"
they invite Meg in the afternoon bc she's part of the anar trio (dean & cas & meg) and they do a huge update on who has which book from whom before chilling. they read Françoise Vergès & Sylvia Federici and Dean keeps talking about his icon Foucault. the plan is to enjoy the rest day to actually read but they end up commenting every line.
Jack is playing lego and he's making them unionizing and kill their boss. when he goes "now i'm the new boss!!!" Cas just says "no." and tries to explain that the issue is more than individual people and even himself wouldn't do a good boss. Jack is shook.
then they listen to Les Misérables (1980 and 1985) bc i have issues. Dean sings along and Meg goes off about how Eponine is a lesbian struggling with comphet. Claire comes back with Kaia and Sam and Eileen and they have dinner during which Sam tells them all about international workers' day's lore
#i truly have issues help#spn takes#dean winchester#worker class dean winchester is truly <3 <3 <3#spn#destiel#autistic jack kline#claire novak
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I can’t handle change is my autistic Claire Novak song
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I would kill to be Cas for one day. Autistic. Not a care in the world. Less anxiety. Isn't scared of bees. Knows Claire Novak.
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Link
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Supernatural
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: one-sided Castiel/Dean, Castiel/OCs
Characters: Castiel, Charlie Bradbury, Claire Novak, Dean Winchester, Autistic Man (Supernatural: The Man Who Would Be King), Original Characters
Additional Tags: Angel Vessels (Supernatural), Consensual Possession, Recreational Drug Use, Judaism, Agender Castiel (Supernatural), Family, Explicit Consent, Castiel Character Study (Supernatural)
Summary:
Castiel embarks on a cosmic brain-hopping road trip of self-discovery.
I watched six episodes of Supernatural while strung out on painkillers after a medical procedure, and I thought they were stupid, but also, that gay autistic angel is the only angel who actually makes an effort to possess people consensually, and as my Animorphs followers know, I think consensual possession / body-sharing is incredibly sexy. So, against all laws of God and man, I am writing Supernatural fic.
#supernatural#castiel#spn#I demand more fic about the unnamed autistic man who Castiel chills with in heaven#my fic
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