My Secret Santa… - a hotd christmas special
this is just a silly little thing about how a targaryen secret santa would go but i hope you guys enjoy it :)
you can also find it at ao3 here!
“Do we have to do this every year?” Aegon is the first to say anything.
Everyone was gathered around the fire with presents in their hands. Viserys sits comfortably on his recliner while Alicent takes a chair from the dinner room so she can sit next to him. Daemon and Rhaenyra share a loveseat by the window, she’s on his lap even though there’s space for the both of them. Aegon lays on his mother’s new chaise and no one insists on him taking a sitting position. Jace and Luke take the couch’s cushions and sit on the rug, leaving the bigger couch for the girls and Daeron. Aemond is the only one standing but his mother insists he takes a seat so he gets on the ground next to his nephews.
“It’s the tradition, darling.” Alicent replies.
“And we already bought the gifts so what would we do with these, you big idiot?” Aemond asks his brother.
“I can think of a few functions for mine.”
“You’re disgusting.” Says Daeron while looking at his brother’s always tired-looking eyes.
“Let's just do this!” Says Rhaenyra while Daemon peppers her neck with kisses.
“Who’s first?” Asks Rhaena timidly.
“Not me.” Her sister replies at the same time as her cousins.
“Maybe you should start, husband.” Alicent suggests.
“Very well. I’ll be the first.” Viserys gets up from the recliner and finishes his whiskey glass before he starts talking. “My secret santa…”
Viserys is the one who has the most fun with this tradition, that’s why his wife always organizes everything every year and makes sure it all goes perfectly. “Is…”
“He always does this.” Daemon murmurs.
“Leave him be, my love.” Rhaenyra replies.
“Well, she is a strong woman.”
“Oh, man. I was hoping it was me.” Whispers Lucerys to his brother. “His gifts are always the best.”
“Who says it’s not you, little one?” Aegon laughs, no one else thinks it’s funny.
“She’s a great mother.”
Helaena, Baela and Rhaena sigh, only Alicent and Rhaenyra were mothers.
“She’s the most beautiful creation this world has ever seen.”
“Oh, my darling.” Alicent is about to get up from her chair when her husband continues to talk.
“When the midwife first brought her to me and Aemma told me her name, I knew she would be destined for great things.”
“What?” Alicent had the most confused look on her eyes.
“Oh, dad!”
Rhaenyra gets up from her chair. Everyone was trying to hold their laughter while Alicent’s cheeks looked redder than ever.
Viserys holds his first child in his arms like it was his last time hugging his daughter. Once they let go, Rhaenyra opens the black box she was given and sighs. “It’s beautiful!”
“What is it, mom?” Luke is the one to ask but everyone (especially Alicent) is trying to find out what’s in the box so Rhaenyra turns it around and the whole family can see the magnificent pearl necklace Viserys gave her. The old man smiles and helps his daughter put it on.
“You look breathtaking, my love.” Daemon gets up and kisses her hand.
“Thank you.” She blushes.
“Great. Let’s keep going.” Alicent calls for her husband to come back and Daemon gets back to the loveseat to get Rhaenyra’s gift for her.
“My secret santa…” She starts when everyone is on their seats. “Well, Daemon and I have a full house most of the time. But when my first baby left the nest it never felt more empty. I cried for days. So, my secret santa-”
Rhaenyra smiles with teary eyes and Jace gets up from the ground to hug his mother. He and Baela had just moved to their new loft after their wedding.
“Oh, mom.”
“I love you so much, my boy.” She gives him a small paper bag. “You too, Baela. Don’t think I haven’t missed you like hell, my darling.”
Baela smiles at her mother-in-law.
“Airpods?” Jace screams when he opens the bag. “Mom!! You’re the best!!”
They hug again and Luke whines about his mom and grandfather always giving the best gifts and none of them got him.
“Okay, let’s keep going.” Rhaenyra says.
“My secret santa…” Jace doesn’t know how to exactly describe his secret santa without being rude, but he tries. “Well, he has nice hair.”
“So not you, Aegon.” Luke whispers to his uncle.
“And a bit of a sour mood.”
“It’s Aemond!” Helaena says and claps her hands. Everyone laughs.
“Yes, Helaena. It is Aemond.”
Aemond doesn’t even get up when Jace gives him a silver box with a giant bow in it. He puts the box next to him and gets up with his gift in hands.
“You have to open your present, Aemond.” Helaena scolds him.
“Fine.” He takes the box back and rips the silver wrapping without any care. “Sunglasses?”
“Yes.” Jace smiles.
Aemond doesn’t say anything.
“Do you like it?” Jace is still smiling. “Maybe you should try it on.”
Aegon is the only one to laugh but Daeron and Luke are trying really hard to hold it in. Alicent has a typical sour face.
“Maybe you should die in a ditch.” Aemond grunts. He throws the sunglasses away and gets his gift.
“This is taking forever.” Aegon whines from his chase. “C’mon, guys! I wanna eat!”
“Fine. Mine’s Luke.” It’s basically a growl and everyone is laughing.
“That’s not how the game works.” Viserys is the only one to complain.
Aemond gives his nephew an ugly and wrinkled paper bag like the ones from a grocery shop and goes back to sitting on the ground.
Luke opens it and his face is as wrinkled as the paper bag.
“Rat poison?” The boy asks.
“You might need it.” Aemond has a big grin on his face. “Never know when you’re gonna be dealing with a rat problem.”
Luke wonders why that sounded like a threat. “Jesus.”
“Okay. My secret santa is a very funny person.” Says Luke. No one takes a guess. “You can say they’re something like a free spirit.”
“It is Helaena?” Rhaena asks.
“As if anyone would describe Helaena as ‘funny’.” Says Aegon in a bored tone.
“No, it’s not Helaena.” Luke looks across the room and thinks. “It’s a guy who likes to have fun.”
“You’re killing me, Luke!” Aegon screams. “I will literally starve!”
“Fine! He’s a drunk!”
“It’s Aegon!”
Jace, Daeron and Rhaena say it at the same time. Alicent shakes her head and presses a hand to her forehead.
“Yes!” Aegon finally gets up and hugs Luke.
“Get off! You smell like wine.” Luke whines.
“Thank you, nephew.”
Aegon kisses Luke’s cheek and finally lets the boy go after taking the gift from his hand. He rips the delicate paper off and finds a white shirt.
“I’m holding a beer. So yeah I’m pretty busy.” Aegon reads the words on the shirt and holds it so everyone can see it.
“Oh, Lord.” Alicent murmurs when everyone is laughing.
“I love it!” Aegon takes off his shirt to put on the new one. “Could be a six-pack, but this is fine too.”
“I’m 17, Aegon. I can’t buy alcohol.” Luke says from his seat on the rug.
“That never stopped me!”
Aegon takes his gift from the chaise, it’s wrapped in a nice red paper but it’s all wrinkled.
“My secret santa…” He says with a devilish grin on his face. “Well, she’s pretty hot.”
“You’re disgusting.” Daeron says.
“You’ve already said that, brother. Anyway, I think she’s gonna look great in this.” Aegon shakes the gift. “It’s perfect for newlyweds.”
“Shit, it’s me, isn’t it?” Baela asks.
“It’s you, dear cousin.” Aegon hugs her and it feels inappropriate even though he doesn’t touch anywhere he’s not supposed to.
Baela opens the gift to find a matching lace lingerie set, it’s cherry red and has more ribbons than it should.
“Aegon!” Baela can’t help but blush.
“Oh, Lord have mercy.”
Alicent is shaking her head again and the boys and Rhaena are all laughing. Except for Jace.
“Did you seriously give my wife a lingerie set and said she would look great in it?” He asks angrily.
Now even Daemon tries to hold his laugh.
“I would’ve given you one too but you’re not my secret santa.” Aegon answers like that’s the reason Jace is mad.
“You’re unbelievable.”
“It’s okay, babe.” She kisses her husband's cheek and whispers in his ear. “I’ll burn it when we get home.”
“Okay. So, my secret santa.” Baela took her gift from under the christmas tree. “Is someone whose company I enjoy very much.”
“Me, again?” Jace asks.
“You already have a gift, you dumb fuck.” Aemond says while his mother scolds him.
“When I was single we used to go clubbing together and we would always hit on the same person just for fun.”
“Girl!” Daeron gets up from the couch and hugs her. “I love you, bitch.”
“I love you too.”
“Hitting on the same person?” Alicent whispers to Rhaenyra. “Is Baela one of those girls who have… relations… with men and women?”
“Not exactly, Alicent.” Rhaenyra answers and Daemon is unsuccessfully trying to hold his laugh.
“I don’t understand.” Says Alicent with a sour face.
“You wouldn’t, would you?” Asks Daemon.
“Oh my God! I can’t believe you!” Daeron screams and shows his new Lady Gaga album collection to everyone in the room. Then he hugs Baela again. “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!”
“You’re welcome, love.” She smiles.
“This is never ending, is it?” Aegon goes back to laying on the chaise.
“I would try not to extend your torture too much Aegon.” Says Daeron who’s in the middle of the room. “But I just don’t care enough to.”
Everyone laughs, even Alicent shows a very small smile.
“My secret santa is someone that everyone sees as intimidating.” He looks around the room but no one takes a guess. “But I think he just doesn’t want people to know how big his heart is.”
“Oh, love.” Says Rhaenyra to her husband. “I think it’s you.”
“It is you, uncle.” Daeron smiles sweetly.
Daemon grunts before getting up and hugging the boy.
“Thanks, kid. But my heart is just as black as my soul.”
“Sure it is.” Rhaenyra laughs.
Daemon opens the gift and smiles as he sees his favorite whiskey. He thanks his nephew again.
He gets his gift, it’s a big pink box.
“Well, my secret santa… I think she’s going to enjoy this present very much. God knows she needs it.”
“Okay so it’s either me or Rhaena or Mother.” Says Halaena.
“She’s not young enough to be my daughter.” Daemon tips again.
“It’s Alicent.” Rhaenyra says loudly.
“What?” Alicent gets up while her husband laughs. “I’m not that old.”
“There you go, sister.” Daemon gives her the box. “Enjoy it.”
“Thank you, Daemon.”
She puts it on the ground and gets on her knees to open it. Once it’s open her cheeks turn burning red.
“What is it, mom?” Daeron asks.
“This is highly inappropriate!” Alicent says and closes the box.
“C’mon, sis.” Daemon says with a grin on his face. “You know the rules, you have to show us the gift!”
“I will not!” She yells.
“Just show us, Alicent.” Viserys whines. “You’re ruining all the fun!”
She grunts like a child but gets her hands in the box and takes a not so small purple glittery dildo from it. No one can hold it in and the whole family is in tears from laughing so much.
“Daemon, you rogue!” Viserys says with a big grin.
“It’s not funny, Viserys!” Alicent has already put the thing back in the box. “Don’t you dare condone this kind of behavior.”
“It’s just a prank, Alicent.”
“It was a bit funny, mother.” Helaena says timidly.
“Oh, Lord!” Alicent prays. “Forgive thy children for they do not know what they do!”
“C’mon, mom.” Says Aegon. “Who’s your secret santa?”
Alicent was so angry that she wanted to end the game right away and send everyone to their homes. But then she sees her husband smiling and remembers how much he loves the family gatherings and how much fun he always has with the silly game. So she tries to forget about Daemon's sinful gift. For they shall answer for their sins in front of the Lord.
“Fine.” She gets her gift under the tree. “My secret santa is a very sweet girl.”
“Is it me, mother?” Helaena asks.
“No, darling. It’s not.”
“So it’s Rhaena. She’s the only girl left.” Aemond snaps. He’s also tired of the game.
“Yes.”
Rhaena gets up from the couch and hugs Alicent, who gives her a small box wrapped in golden gift paper. She opens it and it’s a sewing kit, a small one that fits in a purse.
“Oh, thank you, Alicent.” She timidly smiles. “But I don’t know how to sew.”
“And I don’t blame you, darling.” Alicent has a sweet smile on her face. “I know your mother didn’t have the time to teach you and God knows how many times I tried to teach Rhaenyra but she never learned. But it’s an important skill.”
“Is it though?” Daemon says and Rhaenyra grins. Alicent ignores both of them.
“Men always need us to sew their clothes.” She keeps going. “Once you’re married you’re gonna see how useful sewing is. The Lord knows how many of my Viserys’ socks I’ve already fixed.”
“Thanks Alicent. I do think it’s a very useful skill.” Rhaena goes back to her place on the couch. “But I’m a lesbian so I don’t know how many men’s socks I’ll be sewing.”
Alicent is silent. And so is the rest of the room. Until Daemon lets go the loudest laugh they all heard that night. Rhaena is smiling, her sister hugs her and the boys are all laughing.
“I love you so much, my girl.” Daemon says with eyes filled with tenderness.
Once again, Alicent is the only one not having fun.
“My secret santa is the sweetest person in this room.” Rhaena gets up again after taking her gift.
“Oh, please. Helaena and father are the only ones left.” Aegon whines. “Just end my misery.”
“Is it me?” Helaena asks.
“Yes, it’s you.”
The girls share a tight hug and Helaena takes the gift from her cousin. She opens the box and sighs.
“Oh! Thank you, Rhaena. It’s beautiful!” She shows it to everyone.
“And what the fuck is that?” Aegon asks.
“You don’t know?” No one in the room seems to know. “It’s a tibetan singing bowl!”
Helaena takes the stick that comes inside the bow and shows it’s ‘song’.
“Great! One more thing for you to make noise!” Aegon whines one more time.
“If you think Helaena is such a bad company maybe you should finally move out of your mother’s house.” Jace snaps.
“Jacaerys!” Rhaenyra scolds him.
“I’m just saying! He’s the oldest of us!”
“Or maybe Helaena should leave. She’s also old as fuck.” Aegon replies.
“That’s enough!” Alicent yells. “Nobody is leaving! Now, let’s finish this so we can pray and eat.”
“Well, my secret santa…” Helaena starts.
“Oh, Dear.” Viserys gets up and hugs his daughter. “I’m afraid your old father is the only one left!”
Helaena smiles and gives her father his gift. He opens the tiny box and takes the present in his hand but he doesn’t know exactly what to do with it.
“It’s beautiful, Helaena.”
“They’re healing crystals!” She says excitedly. “Here’s crystal quartz for amplifying energy, bloodstone for strengthening, ruby for vitality and tiger’s eye for protection.”
“They’re all lovely.” Viserys hugs her again. “I’m sure it will be very useful. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“And I thank all of you for participating. To be together as a family means a lot to this old fool.”
Rhaenyra and Alicent go to him for a hug. He holds his daughter and then his wife. Everyone is already up and walking to the dinner room for supper. The whole family is together and, in the end, that’s all that matters to any Targaryen.
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Behind Her Back
Fandom: A Song of Ice and Fire
Pairing: Sansa Stark x Sandor Clegane
Rating: T
Summary: When Sansa announces that she booked them a vacation in a haunted house, Sandor pretends to be excited. Because might be a grouch, but he loves this woman so badly, he'd walk through hell for her.
Words: 1163
Notes: For @hisyetisgirl
Prompt(s): 23.- Not on my watch by @fictober-event
Read @ AO3
When Sansa announces that she booked them a vacation in a haunted house, Sandor pretends to be excited. Because might be a grouch, but he loves this woman so badly, he'd walk through hell for her.
And yes, he knows that he should tell her that he is a ghost buster, but he knows that the moment does, Sansa will want to tag along and he does not want that. Not because he thinks she could not handle it, but because the monsters and ghosts that he kills, moves to the great beyond or whatever, are aggressive enough that they could genuinely be a trouble for Sansa. And he'd be damned if he would let any harm come to Sansa.
So, first order of business is doing research on the house Sansa has rented. He finds pretty much the usual. Classical ghost things, until one of his co-workers comes back and lets him know that there's a murder suicide that took place and that a child had died in the house with no explanation.
That is when he curses and tries to dissuade Sansa from taking their vacation there. But Sansa will not be moved, the house is beautiful - he'd give the owners that - and is near a beach and it promises to be a good place to rest and relax.
But it also promises things that go bump in the night.
"Not on my watch," he hisses and packs an extra bag with everything that he needs to clear the location. Or, at the very least, make sure the ghosts don't bother them. "You're not hurting my little bird."
And so, he goes with Sansa to the vacation home.
Once there, he rushes to the bedroom they will share and creates a thin circle of salt around the bed and places a cross soaked in holy water beneath the it. That should do it.
And when Sansa is busy unpacking her things, he goes around the whole house throwing holy water, salt and saging the places he knows that are dark enough. Thankfully, Sansa's tired from the drive, so after unpacking, she takes a nap and that gives him more time to clear the house to his standards. And to make something light for dinner, he will not have his little bird go hungry.
The basement is one of the darkest places he's ever been. The air is so thick and dark, he near chokes. But he is Sandor Clegane, ghost buster extraordinaire and he refuses to give up. He cleans the air and clears the basement as much as possible and leaves a line of salt and weirdwood paste at the end of the stairs, so that whatever it's down there stays down there.
The child's room is much easier to clean, he simply makes contact with the child and gently guides them to the great beyond. The room feels lighter after that.
Once that is done, he makes a simply soup and sandwiches for them. He opens a bottle of Sansa's favorite wine and wakes her with dinner in bed.
"Oh, Sandor, you shouldn't have!"
He shrugs, "Perhaps not, but I didn't feel like ordering in. Besides, we did bring food here. I would rather eat that."
Sansa pouts, "So, no going out to dinner?"
"Of course, but I didn't feel like doing so today." He does not say he's about to fall asleep thanks to all the work he did when she was asleep. "I wanted a home cooked meal."
"You're a worst nester than I am."
"As long as you keep my secret, I'll survive."
Sansa laughs and turns the television on. They watch a movie as they eat and cuddle in bed. He falls asleep while Sansa reads a book.
And he wakes up to the sound of someone banging a door. Sansa's already up and ready to investigate, he all but bolts because hell no, he's not letting her go alone. He manages to grab his weirdwood pendant and walks behind her as quietly as he can. It's the godsdamned basement door.
He stops Sansa from going down, and he walks in instead. His weirdwood pendant feels cold and he knows that something is trying to leave the basement. So, he works his magic to at the very least silence the thing. To his surprise, it works.
But it is then and there that he knows that he'll likely won't rest well all week.
Sansa is thrilled at the thought of actually being in a haunted house. "I know my siblings think I'm a coward, but this is exciting. I'm not even the least bit scared."
He mentally curses Sansa's siblings for calling her a coward and for now making her excited to be here. "Well, let's hope the ghosts let us sleep, at least," he grumbles.
And that is how it goes, Sansa being thrilled at the slightest change of temperature or gust of wind, and he, running behind her with holy water, weirdwood paste, salt and sage.
At the end of the week, he's tired and all that he wants is to go home and collapse in their bed, in their not-haunted apartment and have some words with Arya Stark.
"You know, it's a shame that we did not see a ghost." Sansa said. "Beyond the noises, I mean. And those can be explained with air and other things like that."
"Yeah. I mean, you've taken quite the few photos, who knows, maybe you captured something." Oh, he knows that he should not be encouraging her, but she looks so heartbroken, he can't help himself. "A ghostly photo, that would be fun, no?"
"I suppose." Sansa sighs. Then, she beams. "Ohhh, maybe we should go to the cemetery near Baelor's sept, rumor has it that you can actually see things there."
Bloody hell. He really is going to have to tell Sansa what he does for a living, doesn't he? "Sansa. I'm a ghost hunter."
Sansa blinks. "Yes, dear I know."
"I - what?"
"Arya told me. She said that you were one of the best in the business, but I didn't say anything until you did, did not want you to think that I didn't trust you."
He groans, he definitely will be having words with Arya. "Is that why you wanted to come here?"
"Yes and no." Sansa admits easily enough. "I wanted to come because I liked the house and the location, and I figured that if there was anything here, you'd tell me where to look."
He rubs his face with both of his hands. "Sansa... I cleaned this place."
"By cleaning you mean..."
"That I took care of the uglier things in here."
"Ah. Oh well. So... how about we visit the cemetery?"
Gods but this woman was going to drive him mad, but he loved her and he would move heaven and earth for her. "Sure. Sure. Let's explore the cemetery."
The kiss Sansa gives him is worth it.
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