#as an artist. as a person. as a trans and a gay. as someone even remotely paying attention to Japanese culture. It was death by 1000 blows
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White USAmericans will never understand the impact USCentrism and cultural cringe has on artists outside of their empire. You will never understand writing a story drawing from your own personal understanding of the world and knowing the whole time it'll never be "relatable" enough. But I'm supposed to know what a fucking Trader Joe's is.
I am a white Australian, I'm not exactly that oppressed, I benefit from living in a colonial outpost. But even me, a beneficiary of English colonialism, am not "relatable" enough if I dare to write from an Australian perspective. Your country ousted our then prime minister, Gough Whitlam, in 1975 because he didn't hate communists enough, you plonk your military bases across the outback, further displacing already displaced indigenous people, less and less Australian content is being made because there isn't a viable market for it.
Marginalised Australian voices have absolutely no voice out of this country at all, let alone in our country. Have you consumed a single piece of media created by an Aboriginal Australian? Do you even care that the first transgender women on TV to be played by an out trans woman was on an Australian show (the performer Carlotta as Robyn Ross in the soap opera Number 96)? But I'm supposed to care about American Show #3839384 because there's one loveless, awkward "revolutionary" gay kiss.
If you're a white USAmerican, I want you to imagine that one day you write a story and you mention snow in winter or a yellow school bus, and suddenly someone goes "no one will read that, it's too specific".
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like being in the s**lor m**n fandom led to me being lowkey internet stalked and having people start up all kinds of rumours/shit talking about me (which I only ambiently knew about because OTHER people would tell me) and the Cr*stal stuff was STILL the worst thing to come out of that fandom for me lmao
#it was a shit show from EVERY angle.#bad takes about art/animation from people who haven't kept up with the industry in over 20 years and keep drawing bad/outdated comparisons#bad LGBTQ+ takes and takes about feminism from extremely American and current-day perspectives specifically to demonise Japanese women#bad writing takes. just in general lmao#straight up misinfo about the original manga or Naoko's notes to fit whatever bias the OP was trying to push#no matter what I tried to post someone found a way to turn it into wank against Crystal and I just wanted to scream#the worst part is that Jojo was airing at the same time. I forget which part#and it was such whiplash to go from a fandom memeing about the absurd animation and writing etc#but overall still praising it. to a fandom where the tiniest tween-frame in pre-bluray releases would get EVISCERATED#as proof that the show was shit and all of the people (particularly women) involved in making it were garbage#as an artist. as a person. as a trans and a gay. as someone even remotely paying attention to Japanese culture. It was death by 1000 blows#I have no patience for how people will dickride shonen but blast shoujo over the same things#AND THEN I HAD TO SEE YOU ALL GO FUCKING GAGA DROOLY OVER THE S3 DESIGNS. AKA THE SHITTY GENERIC MOEBLOB DESIGNS#I HOPE YOU ALL GET DRY EYES FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER AMEN
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Inviting other artists!
So I've just made a superhero AU for utmv. Right? Well, I really only wanted to design one guy, Lust. Sooo I'm opening the AU (WHICH LITERALLY HAS NO LORE YET SO NO WORRIES) for others to partake in!
Here's like, the basic lay out.
Choose one Sans AU to turn into superhero/villain. Please refrain from using a Sans someone else claimed.
Make them into a superhero/villain themed after something specific. (Example: A plant themed superhero, or even a cactus one!)
Keep powers balanced with weaknesses, please make them relate to their theme!
Give them a civilian identity! You don't have to draw this one, but make sure to mention their civil job and name!
Give them a Superhero/Villain name as well!
Wait, supervillain?
OH YES! You can choose the mortal alignment of your claimed Sans! Super hero, villain, neutral, vigilante? Just pick whatever you want!
Of course headcanons are welcome, it's Canon to YOUR design! Make them trans, gay, autistic, whatever! (Human designs are allowed too!)
Wait.. what do I (the artist reading this) Even get out of doing this?
Well I'll tell you! For one, its a fun artist challenge where you personalize and create a whole new hero/Villain to your preferences!
You also get to imagine their lore, and incorporate their personality into the story! They'd all be canon part of the AU. (Note: if someone claimed a sans first and you did it anyways, yours wouldn't be Canon unless issues occurred with the OG/they gave you permission.)
I dunno, I just wanna make an AU with a ton of people, ya know? I think it's be fun for us to work together on this.
CLAIMED LIST:
Lust: Hero. Complete. By @thelunarsystemwrites.
Reaper: Vigilante. Completed by @solusminds.
Outer: Vigilante. Complete by @dzasterdumpterfire
Ink: Retired Hero. Complete by @lix88888
Error: Supervillain. Complete by @its-paperd
Dust: Claimed by @billygoat26
Farmer: Claimed by @absurdumsid
Cross: Claimed by @weirdest-worlds
Geno: Claimed by @eldritchcats
Shattered: Claimed by @genderfluidyellowocto
Nightmare: Supervillain. Completed by @analexthatexists
Killer: Claimed by @a-menacetosociety
Dream (and core frisk): Claimed by @thenocturnenarrator
Blue: Superhero, complete by @createbellatheartist
Fell: Supervillain, complete @underrrtaleee-freakk
Quantum: Superhero. Completed by @nashdoesstuff (Also made an OC for the AU, Dreamshade! Superhero.)
Horror: Neutral Evil. Completed by @it-came-from-mount-ebott
Ccino: Claimed by @some-aroace-chaos
Fresh: Claimed by @nightmareishomophobic
Die sans: Claimed by @dustsansm1
Bill: Supervillain. Completed by @endless-emptyness (OC Nanno made by sane person!)
Epic: Claimed by @dtdrawz
Fatal error: Claimed by @spookyboris2
Swan: Claimed by @glitching-moon
Sci: Claimed by @joonebugg
Dance: Claimed by @dv-reblogs
Swad: Claimed by @shinanigans-art
Littletale: Claimed by @somehhuuuhh
Possession: Claimed by @b0nerific-individual
Alter: Claimed by @annabel184
Paperjam: Claimed by @papple
Decadent society: Supervillain. Complete by @supper122
Green Sans: Claimed by @xxcross-is-a-helicopterxx
Roulette: Claimed by @ant1quarian
On the claimed list, if you claim a Sans (By commenting or reblogging saying "Dibs Blank!" Or "Can I do blank?" Etc! I'll add it on the List saying: "Sans: Claimed by User"
Once it's made, please tag me so I can see! Then I'll update it to "Sans: Moral alignment. By User." And link it on this post! [Please only claim one, we want enough to go around! However you can claim variations! So one person could make dream, another could make shattered!]
[Note I do not claim any ownership over your designs for the AU, nor will I use your design w/o permission.]
With all that said! Anyone interested? [And hey, if you're not interested? It's okay to just not join. Or ignore this!]
Asks! (Questions regarding the AU!)
Can we make our own lore woth other characters?
Secondary claims?
Only two grabs?
Can we have OCs?
Can we use our own AUs?
#Superhero AU#undertale au#alternate universe#undertale alternate timeline#Utmv#underlust#undertale#Aus#Art#If anyone wants to join in just lemme know!#Utmv superhero au
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Just to be clear you don't hate everyone who likes mushrooms and frogs, right? I like mushrooms because they're living representations of entropy and decay and some are so similar to humans that eating them can cause diseases related to cannibalism, and I like frogs because they're fucked up slime dwellers. Is that bad in your eyes?
i dont think that liking frogs or mushrooms makes you bad no, infact i dont think that thinking any plant or animal makes you a bad person, i just dont personally like frogs i find them gross
i do however have issue with the people who are like, weird about me *not* likeing those things, like, thats a fucking massive red flag in so many fucking ways
a) im uncomfortable that people even assume these things about me and moreover that theyre upset when their assumptions are proven wrong. my opinion shouldnt mean ANYTHING to you! you dont know me! and its really uncomfortable going on the internet to post your cat art and then all of a sudden find people acting overly familiar with you when you dont know them and have never interacted with them! i am not some large internet figure and its not ok to treat me that way! you should not be forming any kind of parasocial relationship with a 16yr old cat artist! thats weird and fucked up on so many levels!
b) the idea that i as a queer person "have to" have certain opinions and act a certain way (on things that are just, entirely harmless and meaningless) for some of you to like me is REALLY concerning. like if you genuinely think less of me because i dont like frogs when im a queer person then that makes me really concerned about all the other shit you expect me to do.
i have had alot of experience with people who do fit into those gay stereotypes of loving mushrooms and frogs and a CONCERNINGLY LARGE AMMOUNT OF THEM are like, a year away from falling into just full blown violent transphobia, the willingness to gatekeep what queer people are allowed to do and the idea that they HAVE to like certain things is like, it just makes it very clear that even if you arent a transphobe (or atleast dont THINK of yourself as one) your willingness to gatekeep these things makes you REALLY REALLY suseptible to BECOMEING one.
back when i used to be a lesbian and was in alot of these supposedly queer accepting and friendly spaces i found this out the hard way, when i started questioning my gender, and starting to not conform as much i had so many people who i thought were my friends talking about how i wasnt "allowed" to call myself enby AND a lesbian, and that im just someone trying to force myself into lesbian spaces, that i wasnt "allowed" to use he/him pronouns, because that makes other trans people LOOK bad, as soon as i stopped directly fitting into their veiws of a "respectible" queer person i realized that no. this isnt what a queer accepting space looks like.
and so thats why, i am extremely cautious around anybody who fits into that stereotype. its not *about* frogs, its not *about* mushrooms. its about how people who make these distinctions about what is an ok and not ok way to be queer will immediately turn on me the seccond i dont fit into that. and im not comfortable having those kinds of people around me
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I'm curious to know your take on the whole fujoshi pisscourse because I'm semi new to it and no matter how much the internet says I should be appalled that some cis women flick their beans to gay stuff... as a queer guy I simply cannot bring myself to care. I have experienced cis straight women in queer spaces being rude or even sexually inappropriate, especially to performers, but I just don't see the relationship between that and the girls watching gay porn. And I've also seen people argue that it's bad because cis straight women who are artists will write/draw stuff about gay men that's inaccurate... but again I don't see this as nefarious as the twinks on tiktok want me to believe it is, like who cares.
Yeah, I'm with you 100%. What a person gets off to is their business and no type of porn belongs to one identity group.
My gay male bestie in high school got off exclusively to straight porn -- he found the women in straight porn easier to relate to than the types of big, masc guys that get depicted in most gay porn videos.
I watch porn of any fucking gender combination because what I care about is the hypnosis and power exchange, not the people involved.
I know this couple of two trans women that broke up when one walked in on the other watching gay male "sissy" porn -- she considered it an insult to her own identity and worried that it meant her trans femme partner wasn't "really" a woman or didn't see her as one. It led to the disastrous, messy termination of a relationship of many years, and the entire basis for the rift was nonsense.
I like a lot of detrans kink / forced detransition porn because of my own insecurities and worst fears. It strikes a chord in a hot way. Before I transitioned, I looked at a lot of gay male porn especially of the silly fanfictiony variety because it gave me something to project my longings onto.
Lots of trans mascs are "cis female fujoshis" like that. And yeah, some cis women are too! They may like the escape from conventional gender role baggage, or they may have some latent gender-fuckery of their own that the fiction is allowing them to explore, or maybe they just like guys a lot and so seeing two guys together is twice as hot to them. No amount of discourse is gonna keep straight men from watching lesbian porn. So let's leave the girls to whatever gets them off!
(incidentally, I know a lot of lesbian fujoshis too).
We shouldn't be policing what others' eroticize. A person's identity has no bearing on what they might find interesting to look at or fantasize about. What matters in terms of 'protecting' the queer community is having guidelines on behavior.
The problem with cishet women being predatory at the club isn't that they're cishet, it's that they're groping people, getting in people's faces, and being rude. Anyone of any identity can do that. The only way we can prevent bad behavior is by having rules and procedures in place for dealing with it in anyone. Not by restricting which identities are allowed in the door -- that will only ever play out in a transphobic way and a way that's hostile to the questioning and closeted, and I'll have no part in it.
And certainly none of us have any business butting into what sexual thoughts play between a person's ears. There are no thought crimes. There are no emotion crimes. There are no arousal crimes. There are only behaviors that can hurt others, and if someone's actions are respectful and harm no one, their identity and what they get off to is completely their business.
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Sir, as I could see, you're fond of giving the LGBTQIA+ community representation with great stories. With that I would say you have a big responsability with what you bring with your words around LGBTQIA+ personas. Sadly you're once another person to spread misinformation about pansexuality, where you've said a quite problematic and higher biphobic definition in what being pansexual would mean when you were asked about Corinthian sexuality. In your words, you claimed tv show Corinthian would be "more pan" because "he seems to bestow his attentions indiscriminately", whatever that would mean, which happens to be an absurdly wrong definition of pansexuality that demonizes bisexuality as a rather less embracing sexuality, since the reason for one to think about pansexuality as indiscriminatory is the history it had of saying bisexuality... "wasn't as much in comparison". Not mentioning it's a bit of an odd saying since no sexuality could have an "indiscriminately attention" to their definition. I've sent other message about this as I'm highly hoping you'd read it, I don't have a Tumblr but made this one for this. As I said there, bisexuality is as much embracing as pansexuality as they mean exactly the same with different labels; they're both equal multisexual labels that have no difference between or whatsover, any saying otherwise is erasing many, many years of bisexual history; erasing many bisexual individuals and reality of bisexuality. No one could be serious to say a whole group of people could be less embracing. Are those types of sayings made for heterosexual and gay people? Or you'd separate an less embracing straight and gay person from what being gay means? Again, bisexual always meant the same as pansexuality, even before pansexuality happened to began mainstream. Many people are taught pansexuality created the sense of "loving regardless of gender" or "loving people for what they are, their personality" and etc though, when... it's not true. This personally makes me sad for the need of sending those messages because of how normal it is to spread biphobic misinformation and misunderstanding, one misinformation that can still even be transphobic, as it could normalize excluding trans and non binary people for the simple fact they're trans and not cisgender, for example. And every other week there's some post online saying how bisexual people are less embracing in any way by definition, when obviously it's completely bullocks. So I'm basically tired of every artist out there spreading the same things over and over. For many of us bisexuals would be so important to see more representation in the media saying how much bisexuality means embracing. You as someone with so many followers, readers and fans should be a bit careful with those type of sayings. It normalizes a wave of misinformation, misunderstanding, and specially biphobia. I wish, respectfully, you'd understand that and take your words back. Sorry for my broke English.
I think that the Corinthian is pansexual in that his attentions could be given to angels and dragons, to demons and dreams, to fairies and ghosts and gods. I'm not sure that "bisexual" would cover that.
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Statement
I wish to make a statement regarding what happened on the 14th of April, 2023
I, at first, wanted to move on from what happened and start again
But, seeing as some people aren't willing to let go of what happened, I feel I have no choice but to give my side of the story
I'll admit, I haven't been perfect in all this
I made mistakes
Many I wish I could take back, and would do if it was possible
But, whether I'm forgiven or not isn't up to me
That being said, however, the person who started all this in the first place isn't innocent either
I wish to address the accusations against me regarding, defending a transphobic person, racism, me fetishising trans men in my Perfectly Imperfect roadrat fanfic, and my conduct with minors, in that order
First, the accusations of me defending transphobic person
These accusations were first brought against me on the 14th of April, 2023, when user @sodapoptisms dug up a tweet from someone who said the following
Link
They then followed up with a quote tweet saying the following
Link
Now, I knew the person being screenshotted
I don't defend how they said what they said
Out of context, it's very poorly worded
What I DO defend is the fact that I took issue with Soda wanting the roadrat fandom to "band together and force the bigot out"
In other words, Soda wanted to rally a mob against this person for their political beliefs
I took issue for several reasons
The first one being like I said, I knew this person at the time
I knew they weren't anti trans rights
But forcing someone out for not agreeing with every aspect of the trans community can cause someone to become anti trans out of spite
Which brings me to my next point
I knew not speaking out against Soda could have a detrimental effect on the support for trans rights on the grassroots level
How?
Because this person had said they'd had many bad experiences with members of the trans community
Many people have sadly come out against the trans community for those reasons as well
Including many gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and even some transgender people
Clearly, bullying people for not holding your exact political views isn't working
And may actually be making things worse
That isn't to say that you win rights by coddling people's feelings
But you don't win people over by bullying and demonising them either
There is a balance that needs to be met, which isn't at the moment
You can't just demand people be your ally, then treat them like shit when they refuse, or don't live up to your standards
The second accusation I want to address is the one of racism
I was accused of this after writing an open letter to Soda shortly after what happened on the 14th of April, which no longer exists
But in it, I used the term Flying Monkeys to refer to the mob Soda had rallied against myselfand the other person
The term, Flying Monkeys, is commonly used as a nickname in pop psychology for the friends of narcissists
However, because Soda has many friends who are black, they twisted the words to accuse me of referring to them in a racially derogatory way
This was despite me pointing out the fact that I did not know Soda's friends were black, as even if they have that in their bios, I don't tend to read bios in detail, if at all. So, I was unaware unless I saw a photo of them
Thirdly, the fetishising of trans men in fanfiction
I never thought I'd have to bring this up
After all, no artist or writer should has to explain or justify why they made the choices they did in their works, but here we go.
Long story short, I tend to write stories with mpreg in it
You can think ill of me for it if you like, I don't care
But, I do not write these sorts of fanfiction for fetish fuel
I wrote Perfectly Imperfect for several reasons
The major one being that I have a lot of unresolved Daddy Issues
I won't get too much into my personal history, other than my father wasn't much in the picture when I was growing up
The few times he was in the picture, he was abusive
Not just to me, but to my mother, my sisters, & his previous two families, which he had left prior
I was estranged from him for eight years until I learned he had cancer, & I decided to reconnect with him two years before he died
I began writing Perfectly Imperfect a year prior to my father's death
Why use Mpreg to deal with Daddy Issues, you may ask?
The answer is twofold
I want to have my own family one day, & I tend to project that desire onto my favourite characters
I'm also fascinated with the father/child bond I guess
Particularly those that, while they may not be perfect, they at least are there for their child/ren, and don't abuse them
As for the fact that I've written Junkrat giving birth
That tends to be how a pregnancy concludes
But, I always focused on Junkrat himself, & what he's going through while giving birth
Such as his the pain he's in and how scared he is
How he looks to Roadhog for comfort
And how Roadhog helps him through it
It's about the emotion & vulnerability of the scene, in other words
Birth is messy, & can be gross, I can understand why many are squicked out by it
But it's a fact of life, much like death
Fourth, I'd like to discuss my supposedly inappropriate conduct with minors online
As many of you will know, I used to run Roadrat server. This server was an 18+ server, as I didn't feel I could, nor did I want the extra responsibility of, keeping minors safe within it
However, I would ask around to see if many people wanted to join, provided they were of age
As at the time, there was a content drought, & I wanted to keep the fandom as active as possible through it
Which I felt I could do through Discord
Unfortunately, not everyone has their age in their bios, which is fine
I understand not everyone feels safe showing people their age
But, it does sometimes mean I'm unsure, & have to ask about the person's age
This person there were a minor & then asked if they knew of any other Roadrat servers
I didn't really know of any that were as active as mine was a the time, so I made them an offer
They tell me when they come of age, & I'd let them into my server on the day
As you can see, nothing inappropriate took place, & the conversation pretty much ended after that
So, that is the context of everything that happened
Lastly, I want to address @sodapoptisms aka @sodapopblast directly
I'm sorry
I'm sorry I ever had the misfortune of knowing you and your friends
I'm sorry I ever thought of you as someone worth my time
I'm sorry I never saw how much you use your gender identity as a sheild to bully and harass people who step out of line
I'm sorry I never saw how much of a manipulative and cowardly bully you are
And I pity your friends who don't see you for the worm you truly are
It's because of you that I've had to endure being mischaracterised and demonised by your false & deliberately misleading accusations
For months
I've endured multiple accounts of abuse, and many death threats because of you
I lost my standing in the Overwatch community
All of this took a major toll on my mental health & general well-being
It not only affected my ability to perform my job as a care worker, which I was so scared I'd lose because of you
But also my self-confidence & and self-esteem, which I had painstakingly built up by writing my Roadrat series over five years
Only for you to tear it down in the span of one day
I used to hold such ill-will towards you for a long time
But that's only stooping to your level
You deserve to get better as much as I do
But the sad thing is, you probably won't
You're way too comfortable where you are right now, surrounded by your fandoms & your Yes Men
I doubt you'll find true happiness while you're where you're at
And that's enough for me
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Hey, SparkleCare criticism blogs!
A. You don’t speak for all asexual people
B. I can’t believe you’re mad at someone for making their comic emetophobia accessible. Just because an accessibility feature isn’t for you doesn’t mean it isn’t necessary. Sparklecare is a comic about disabled people. Disabled people read it. It is for disabled people. Have you ever heard of nothing about us without us?
C. Leave the psych critical community and medical abuse victims alone dear god
D. Not everything is for you. Artists don’t owe their fans their mental health.
E. “If you post something on the internet you should be prepared to be criticized about it.” So sensitives groups who have literally no where else to go but the internet because they’re so stigmatized shouldn’t even want to find a safe space here? Letting them have a community isn’t an ideal for you? You sound like those people who harassed Black Dresses into splitting up.
F. Just because the social commentary of the comic isn’t relevant to you doesn’t mean it isn’t relevant to other people. There are so many medical abuse victims out there you are just disregarding.
G. You are harassing a traumatized disabled person for being “sensitive.” Think about what you are saying. Think about how clearly ableist it is.
H. Just because someone shared their art with you doesn’t mean you own it. It’s great to know that there is no safe space for disabled and traumatized people to share their stories. Really lovely
I. UNI IS NOT GAY ERASURE SHE IS A TRANS GIRL. WHY DOES THIS EVEN HAVE TO BE SAID.
J. I am physically disgusted by how much you all seem to enjoy mocking a disabled person with PTSD for not catering to you specifically.
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The thing about Luca is that. And I say this as a writer, I suppose, but also as a queer person, that he exudes a certain feeling of safety, and comfort. Like, to have him play something will mean he's going to give you his everything. No matter the character, you'll see a sincerity that isn't just the product of the script, or the demand of it, but also the mind of the actor.
To know that a person of his calibre is out there playing queer characters so effortlessly, and without a doubt in their mind, without any prejudice blinding his artistic choices and who he is as a person, it's obviously a ray of hope, but it is also, then, a kind of trust, even if it is just parasocial in many ways.
I know if it's Luca playing a certain queer character - regardless of what happens to them in the script, that is if the script is stupid and insincere to the queer perspective in certain ways - I'd still easily trust him to do justice to the queer experience, for how sincerely he plays everything.
The whole every-character-of-his having a underlying homoerotic quality to them is all fun and cool and great and beautiful, but also, it's so fucking refreshing
It's been decades of asking for the correct representation in media, it's been years and years of queerbaiting and, if not that, just general lack of care
I've been accustomed to just wanting some of my favourite characters to be gay. Just thinking and wishing and hoping that someone someday will let them reach the full scope of their personality, let them have the right sort of ending, see first the fabric of their person, and not just the thread of their sexuality, and maybe then write the script. There have been all sorts of emotions, and so to find now a person who is doing just that? It's pure beauty.
For a while now it's been changing, more and more shows and films are becoming inclusive and accepting and understanding of the queer gaze, and it's so beautiful that Luca contributes to it with his whole heart, and has been for a long while.
Many must remember how it used to get with artists and makers always denying or trying to tip toe around the obvious queerbait, or shying away from the conversations that involved that queer perspective, or outright rejecting the very idea- it happens still - but then you see the likes of Luca and Marwan being comfortable in each other's company and also about the love they shared on screen (especially, i think, it begs to say, with them being men), talking happily about their characters, making playlists for them, recommending poems for them
A lot many actors now are open to these conversations, a lot of them now talk about it with nuance and care, with just the right words, and though it's in no way any less a contribution to the conversation, or any less genuine, but again, there is something to be said about the ease Luca shows.
Again, as I said before.. it feels safe, with him.
In a lot of his interviews, he doesn't bat an eye before saying things like - I was lucky to have him as my husband. And he means it, you can tell that by the smile on his face. When people are focusing on the movies' objective and the friendships in it, he easily goes and says it's not only the friendship, but also the love.
In another of his interviews, there was once this question about Roberta, about if he knew what was demanded from him and how he prepared for a transsexual character. I remember it because I was almost sure I'll be hearing some generic answer like I studied trans people for this role and this that blah blah, something ignorant, basically. I was braced for it. But he just said. (And he was talking in english, and all that he was trying to say was conveyed more through his face and gestures, it was super cute actually) - I read the script, and I just felt something. I didn't think about playing a transsexual, but a woman, with a friend. It was important for me to show the love she had for him. So. I just played a woman helping out a friend :)
And I was like ?? wait that's? That's all? You're not going to go deep into the character's psyche and the great moral upstanding you must be feeling for doing a role like this? You're not going to talk about how you "prepared" for this role or how it was "different" for you?
I was so used to people doing that, his simple answer took me by surprise.
and that's what's so refreshing, so comforting.
There's no hesitation in him, no prejudice or preconceived notions or activism, even, compelling his choices and words.
It's just him, plain and simple.
He's committed to his art in a way that people rarely are. Especially in media, where even big companies and huge hollywood stars often fail you.
I wish more people in this world were like him. So gently open in his ways, so effortless in his understanding and acceptance that it becomes intrinsic to him.
He's one of the few people, I would say, who are an artist not just by work, but also by nature.
#luca marinelli#the old guard#le otto montagne#l'ultimo terrestre#writing#he's so?? sweet and beautiful#he's someone I want to sit and have a conversation with. the other person who i want to do this with is#andrew garfield
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Queer music with trans undertones.
That's a topic that I've only breached recently. Call me a little baby queer, but I never knew the wealth of cool music done by very cool people before this. There's a wide range of genres and different types of lyrics to go along with it. In this post, I'll focus down on music that I personally like. It may not be for you and that's perfectly understandable.
Glass Beach is a very cool band and their first album, while unrefined, has 2 songs in particular which I'm obsessed with.
youtube
Bedroom community is such a fun song and really holds true to much of my life experiences throughout my life. Because I live in an environment that does its best to isolate queer folk, that meant that the only way I could explore my gender identity and my sexual preferences was through the internet. And while not the point of the song, the song really gets me pumped up to be an annoying blasphemous little gremlin to all the nasty christo-fasc out there.
youtube
This song brings me to tears every time. The lyrics are just insanely personal and I think many trans femmes could connect with this song. Being misgendered by your peers and especially your family. Needing a desperate escape. Tackling with adulthood. The little holiday feeling of getting your HRT. It's much. It's so much. I'm bursting into tears even as I type this out. This song is so powerful. I can't help it! It's a song about me! Just for me and me alone! It's so personal aa!
youtube
While this song doesn't bring the same reaction from me, the lyrics and the melody is so melancholic and it's such a wonderful song. One of their later and more "mature" works as a band. It's great.
Now I'll do some randomly assorted different artists. I haven't explored their music as deeply as Plastic Beach. But these songs are a highlight for me. And I'm usually a really chaotic listener anyway.
youtube
This song is simple but it rocks. While I'm a gender conforming and very woman identifying trans femme, I'm also aware of the absurdity of the gender binary. And I think that even someone like me is inherently confusing and terrifying to the social systems that uphold this nonsensical binary. This song is a good way to remind ourselves how absurd and pointless our divide between "males" and "females" is not based around chromosomes or other confused markers but purely on cultural indicators of identity.
youtube
This song's lyrics are wonderful. It kind of reflects my recent posts on Tumblr and my frustration on weirdo internet people obsessed with my genitals and being creeps. Because bigotry is creepy and weird. The chorus of this song is especially really good and I find myself humming it along sometimes.
youtube
I'm not into ska, but I really enjoy this song in particular from this genre. The lyrics are fun and the theme of breaking apart and mixing gender identities is fun. It's a fun song. Because once gender stops being used as an authoritarian tool to enforce a binary, it can be fun finding the way to express yourself.
This is some of the stuff I've discovered recently. I think the main reason I'm making this post is a bit more of a serious and grim topic that I've touched upon a bit. I live in the Balkans and I live in a city that's infamous for street fights and toxic masculinity. You can imagine that being a trans femme, even if I pass well, still sets me up for a bunch of dangers. My country's politicians are conservative enough to the point that any idea of rights to LGBT folk isn't even considered, with concepts of queerness being considered a "threat" to the "traditional" family structure. Of course, all of this is a bunch of nonsense.
But it means that spaces for queer people are difficult to find. Apparently people congregate on Facebook, but Facebook where I live at is essentially Twitter. I'm not interested in torturing myself with that. That's left me feeling very isolated. I've recently actually tried to join some local Discord servers, but they were overwhelmingly dominated by cis gay men that seem to only be interested in sex. That's just not for me.
I think listening to music like this helps me feel less alone and more hopeful for the future. If anyone out there is dealing with the same loneliness I am, please find music that reflects your feelings. You'll feel a bit better about the world, knowing that you're not alone and your ideas aren't as foreign as you think.
You're wonderful.
You're valid.
And you're rad as heck.
Queer, trans, non-binary, non-conforming and any fun mixture of sexual orientation. You're the best!
#music#trans#transblr#transgender#queer#lgbt#lgbtq#queer music#trans music#transgender music#small rant at the end#i love you#Youtube
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more hcs cause im having far too much fun-
if you like these check out the others
James Marlene Peter Xenophilius Evan
regulus head canons!!!
he gives me big gay (mlm) trans masc vibes
Walburga let him transition after Sirius ran away because they needed a male heir (she’s not supportive it’s purely for personal gain)
Regulus cannot express his emotions properly because he was never allowed to or taught how so he snaps at people sometimes because he gets frustrated with himself
he’s definitely tried to burn James’ crocs more than once
still has the cat stuffie Sirius got him on his 5th birthday (their name is mittens) but would never admit it (Sirius knows but won’t say a word because he doesn’t want Reg to get rid of it)
got a leo constellations tattooed under each of his top surgery scars
he jokingly flirts with Remus cause it annoys the shit out of Sirius
is closest with Evan Barty and Remus
Effie absolutely adores this boy like she sends him hand knitted or crocheted gifts and baked goods constantly
definitely kissed Barty at some point during like 3rd year to figure out what kissing felt like
lactose intolerant idk why he just gives off the vibes of someone who’d eat cheese even tho it only causes him pain
reads classical work and poetry but also started reading cheesy romance books when he met James and now he kinda likes them but if you ask him he’ll deny it point blank
really good artist doodles on all his homework and sometimes his friends arms if he’s in a good mood
really good at healing because he had to learn to patch up Sirius when they were younger
constantly cold wears hoodies in the summer and hates going outside in the winter
steels Barty Evan Remus and James’ sweaters all the time
biggest insecurity is his temper he hates when he gets angry because it reminds him of his mom
bitch is ripped!!! very strong boy
loves his name because it was the first thing he chose for himself
learned to play quidditch just to hang out with Sirius
way too good at flirting for his own good
shares clothes with Sirius cause they’re both short and have great taste
very blunt no bullshit kinda guy when he’s comforting someone but it works he’ll just straight up tell you to cut them out of your life if they really deserve it and he’s usually right about that sorta thing
does not know how to cook at all
Sirius immediately figured out James and Regulus liked each other and teases Reg relentlessly
Regulus flirts with James so much- James is oblivious James flirts with Regulus even more Reg is worse
feel free to send me asks if you want me to do any characters i haven’t done yet i love doing these :]
#marauders#dead gay wizards#james potter#regulus black#sirius black#remus lupin#jegulus#starchaser#regulus#sunseeker#regulus a black#regulus black x james potter#regulus x james#regulus arcturus black#marauders headcanon#nikos marauders hcs#fuck jkr
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Fucking gotta talk about this shit I've accidentally made something somewhat wholesome
So. The focus this time? Hifumi. GASP. and? Transfem Hifumi. Yeah.
So she's new to being herself. Conservative family, sheltered, one night she ducks into some random bar to get away from the crowds and- oh. Its Crossroads. A gay bar. There she meets Joker for the first time, a blooming Drag Queen, and they become good friends. Joker is there as Hifumi discovers shes trans and helps her set things in place to get away from her family
You see, Joker has lots of queer friends. Working at a gay bar does that to a guy. Unfortunately he and his boyfriend Goro don't have room in their apartment with his little sibling staying with them, so he resorts to plan B. Asking Haru and Makoto to help a woman out
So basically. Hifumi learns how to live as herself freely for the first time, with the help of some new queer friends while living in Makoto and Haru's guest room and having weekly tea with Akira
Here's where everyone's at!
Joker (Akira)- he's a drag queen of course. Moonlights as Aki-chan at Crossroads, is dating Goro, shares a small apartment with him and Futaba. Friend to many a queer folk, he jokes that he's the slutty glue that keeps their ragtag group together
Ryuji- studying to be a gym teacher, a proper one. Bisexual, cis. Openly bi too, he has his flag pinned to everything he owns. He even dyed his hair in the flag colours once when he had too much to drink. Shares Ann's place with her, Shiho, and Yusuke, he's blossoming out now that he's out of highschool
Ann- beginner actor, bisexual and cis, been dating Shiho since their highschool days. When Ryuji woke up with his hair dyed, she dyed her pigtails out of solidarity. She really hopes Hifumi branches out into trying different fashion and makeup options, she's looking forward to a good girl's night with someone other than Haru
Yusuke- gay asexual. Transmasc, he/they. A starving artist rescued by two overly friendly bisexuals (and Shiho), his room in their place is a den of colour and expression and their soul splattered on the walls. He ends up closest with Hifumi out of the roommate quad
Futaba- they like girls but doesn't wanna pin down their sexuality just yet. Agender, fine with the label non-binary too, any pronouns. Works as a freelance cyber security assistant out of Akira and Goro's apartment, doesn't like being around people too much. They like Hifumi. She's quiet, smart. She's also unafraid to join Futaba in bullying Goro
Makoto- lesbian transfem. To put her identity into the classic lesbian terms, she's between futch and butch, and is working to be a youth councilor. She transitioned rather young and has reached a solid point in her life, and is very excited to get to guide Hifumi on her journey of defining Womanhood for herself. She and Haru are married in every sense but the legal one
Haru- cis lesbian. Though, honestly, shes mainly only ever had eyes for Makoto. High femme. She runs a little cozy bakery slash coffee shop under their apartment, the whole place screams cottage core. She's excited to have another person to dote on around the house. Secret from the others, but her and Makoto are beginning talks of whether they'd want to have a kid
...
Yeah I. Y'all,,, holy shit
#persona 5#persona 5 au#okujima#hifumi togo#makoto niijima#haru okumura#ryuji sakamoto#ann takamaki#shihoann#futaba sakura#goro akechi#akeshu#yusuke kitagawa#the phantom queers
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newsflash: people reblog objectively correct posts without knowing the CROSS SITE DISCOURSE of OP all the time. she didn’t fucking know who op was until people told her (which you can do if you care, instead of calling someone a pedo supporter behind her back). she has been vocal about not supporting rape or pedophilia, and yet your dumbass posts are talking about her linking ‘’’loliporn’’’ to being queer for literally no reason aside from one reblog that lacked context. everyone has blind spots, yet for this single one of hers, one that she has clarified her stance on over and over, you say all this about her supporting whatever sex crime feels easiest to accuse her of! the least you can do is apologize
even if she didn't reblog from an actual pedophile i still would made fun of her for agreeing with a post that said "you're a fake queer if you don't support incest fantasies" cause even if that's not morally abhorrent that's a still a fucking stupid thing to say. i never even straight up called her a pedophile i said she "thought loliporn was queer expression" which was just a roundabout way of saying "she reblogged and added on to a post that said "don't say your pro kink if you don't support ageplay, , or incest fantasies" but apparently there's a such a wild difference between "loliporn" and "age play and incest fantasies" that she views the former as such a wild condemnation but the latter is perfectly harmless and not even worth caring about.
like again even if the original post she reblogged wasn't written by an actual pedophile i would of still made fun of her (while keeping censoring her name which i did but that didn't seem to work i guess) for it because it's a bad fucking post. i made fun of it actually way before i even saw her stupid stardew valley post. i made a post talking about how it's perfectly fine to have standards between "weird kinks that are perfectly fine that you should probably ignore" and "weird kinks that are actually potentially harmful" because i think not having any standards with "people's fantasies" as if they inherently exist in a vacuum in really dumb! and bad!
but i think i do need to stress that i did not know she was a trans woman when i made my post, and in fact i have made similar posts about people who were cis women or cis men or trans men or non binary, people of all genders and sexualities, that had bad opinions on incest kink. there was this pretty popular cis gay bara artist who drew alot of incest porn and porn of underaged male characters (but "aged up") and it honestly made me uncomfortable but i kind of bit my tongue because they were popular and i didn't want to rock the boat, and than later they got called for having a sideblog where they drew actually straight up toddler porn and than i didn't feel so bad about being suspicious.
so bascially i do not think she's a pedophile, i never thought she was a pedophile, i made a post vagueing her for having a bizzare take on a video game while thinking that "loliporn" was something worth defending because she reblogged and agreed with a post saying "don't say you love kinks and sex freaks if you aren't supportive of actual sex freaks who enjoy ageplay, and incest shipping" and i assumed loliporn was included in that, because why wouldn't it be, it's "fictional age play" if she doesn't think loliporn is good that's great but weird with her reblogging and agreeing with said post, but basically no i don't think she's a pedophile. i think she just has a really bad opinions. if she thinks actual pedophilia is bad that's wonderful great, noble peace prize, but if she still think "incest and ageplay fantasies" are "above criticism" because some queer people have them. uh no i disagree, i don't think she's a "bad person" for having them but uh. not that's really dumb
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Thinking about a hypothetical episode of Community with the original 7 where Shirley brings one of her friends from church to Greendale, let's call her Mariah
This friend is a trans woman who is a devout Christian and because she's Christian Shirley listened to her about trans issues and stuff and decided if this nice Christian person wants to be addressed as a woman the Christian thing to do is to treat her like a woman and be respectful of how she wants to be addressed. Whether Shirley personally views Mariah as a woman is ambiguous.
Pierce doesn't clock her or even understand what's going on when the group discusses that she's trans, he just sees a hot new lady and is constantly sexually harassing her and she calls him a chaser which he decides is a new word for like a pick up artist and starts self identifying with it and ends up having his own mostly off screen adventure about it.
Britta immediately outs herself as a terf but gets all her terf talking points slightly wrong. Her whole arc is just her talking herself in circles until she sees Mariah experience transmisogyny and is like. Actually what defines a woman is suffering in society as a result of your gender which means trans women are women. But at the end of the episode she meets Mariah's boyfriend who is also trans and sees someone be transphobic to him and is like. But if you're suffering aren't you also a woman? And that's the very end of the episode so instead of a resolution about it we just leave Britta to whatever she's debating with herself and move on.
Jeff doesn't have an opinion of trans people going in but defends trans people just to disagree with Britta, but as he argues in defense of trans people he manages to get really into what he's saying and ends up doing some public speaking for a trans rights group on campus. (The Dean is there just because Jeffrey is there being all eloquent and manly, half learns terminology and starts referring to himself as "Dean-der Fluid" and "non-dean-ery".) A trans guy talks to Jeff about his hair and his workout routine and Jeff realizes he and the trans guys at the event have a lot in common in terms of how they perform masculinity in order to get others to see them the way they see themselves/want to be seen.
Abed similarly spends time talking with the trans group about performing gender among other things and knowing yourself even when others don't understand you or want to change you. They complain about transphobia in tv and he admits that community has had some transphobic bits and talks with them about better representation and problematic stereotypes and tries to get one of them to stay on as a series regular in order to make community a better more representative show.
Troy and Annie both try to figure out if being attracted to Mariah makes them gay. They both come to the conclusion that Mariah is a woman so Annie is probably some kind of queer and Troy is still not gay for being attracted to her. They both go to the event with Jeff and Abed.
Troy meets a really hot trans guy and is like. Okay i am attracted to men. And then we see flashbacks of him clearly flirting with and/or going on dates with guys since he got to Greendale and just not realizing it. He, rather than having a bi crisis has a "I had a chance with all those hotties and i blew it" crisis before hitting on the trans guy who he thought was flirting with him but who was actually under the impression that troy and abed were a couple and was trying to figure out if they'd be down for a 3-way.
Meanwhile Annie starts doing research with the pamphlets laid out at the events to figure out what kind of queer she is and every time it cuts back to her theres more and more queers around her flirting with her. Including some butch lesbians, some nonbinary people, and some trans guys who are all enamoured with her sweet femme charm. (We get snippets of conversations that have things like compulsory heterosexuality, different flavors of bi, asexuality etc) she turns up at the end with a lesbian pride pin on her backpack and her hair and lip gloss very mussed.
#community#ficlet#shirley bennett#britta perry#jeff winger#abed nadir#troy barnes#annie edison#lesbian annie edison#dean pelton#i just. love lesbian annie#also thining a lot about gender with this group.
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Human AU! Picrew
Alastor! He's a serial killer and cannibal in every AU I make unless otherwise stated. Some AU will include Al being trans, having epilepsy, or severe scarring and sometimes migraines. Eating disorder in the fact he mainly eats humans and starves a lot of the time
Nifty in every AU will be Alastors little sister, be it through found family or actual adoption. She is also a cannibal and a nurse unless otherwise stated. Every AU she lost her eye while being sex trafficked.
Rosie and Husk are Always going to be Exes, be it married or dating, but exes. Rosie is a cannibal, Husk isn't he just helps his family hide evidence. In certain AU they're Nifty and or Al's adoptive parents/found family parent's in others they are just older friends who are protective and the mom/dad friend. Rosie is a psychologist and Husk a bartender, most AU they're gonna be ex military
Angel Dust (Anthony) Husks twink boyfriend he gets after divorcing or breaking up with Rosie. Still a hooker but he and Val have a healthy relationship. Unless I need Val to be nasty for my plot. Ex addict, makes music sometimes, recovering eating disorder
The Vees! Vox with his heterochromia and I like making him sweaty either an actual problem or he's just sweaty. I also like to give him a stutter in certain AUs. He's German.
Valentino is as always, half blind, and he's a nasty weird tall man with a connective tissue disorder in most AU, he's also Latin and a pretty good friend he's very supportive just bad at it.
Velvet is a weird little chaotic rat but her boys worship her. For some reason I see her as a Floridian military brat idk, fashion designer and influencer in every AU. I ship her with Rosie.
In some AU they're adoptive siblings
Charlie and Vaggie! Twinning UwU! Vaggie is an ex Catholic cause I think it makes sense and Charlie definitely practices Wicca or something. Charlie actually does own a hotel, it's a rehab her father funded for her because she wants to help nd she has whateva sort of degree would help with that, something with therapy. Vaggie works as a security guard there.
Vaggie twin sister Lute, she's having a near constant mental breakdown, she's a psycho deep down and is FILLED with religious guilt idk what to tell ya. Killed someone. Her arm is amputated too. She teaches self defense, specialising in helping people with disabilities learn to work around them.
Charlie cousin Peter. Everyone think he's the "gay" cousin but he's actually straight and VERY comfy in his masculinity, nondenominational. Isn't technically allowed to visit the Morningstar house alone because they're "evil" but they're just spiritual. Broadway!!
Lute boyfriend, Adam. I could NOT resist making him adorable and precious because you see him and go awww but then he fucking opens his mouth and calls you a slur. Lmao. Questioning his faith. Rock star wanna be, studies music theory or something
Adams cousins! Big sis Sera is constantly worrying and lil sis Emily is heavily sheltered. Sera is a Sunday School teacher, idk, maybe religious studies? Emily if the AU has her college aged will want to be a nurse (I've been seeing Emily ships everywhere but what if she falls for her fellow nurse who's secretly a psychopath?? Nifty, I mean)
Cherri! Angels BFF! She's deffo an artist and also a demolition expert or something, and does monster trucking too! She's the best most supportive person, Penti adores her and she's secretly in love too but she's scared of it. Angel keeps mocking her that he's got two guys (Val and Husk) and she won't even take a chance on the dude who would find a way to blow up the sun for her.
Penti is trans, hjs family is also Muslim but he was disowned when he came out. He has triplet little siblings! Is studying to be or is a physicist. Idk minor speech impediment/lisp!
Frank is the embodiment of chaos and when he meets Alastor is obsessed with him (crushing on a guy your older brother doesn't like is a right if passage) Chandler and Leslie are his siblings. They we're disowned for supporting Penti and Chandler has refused to wear her veil since. Leslie still upholds their faith but is very supportive.
Usually Vark will be a dog. But occasionally an AU will call for him to be Vox little brother so here's a design for him!
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https://olderthannetfic.tumblr.com/post/744363402559995904/reading-the-anon-abt-the-doll-hobby-not-having#notes
More BJD wank.
People using alcohol markers on their dolls. Just... don't.... don't do that. Also, people complaining that the alcohol marker doesn't wash off the doll anymore. Yeah, who'd have guessed that using alcohold markers on a highly porous material would end up not being removable.
Also, don't use oils. Do not use any paint strippers that contain oil. And only use water soluble glue.
People who sell some of the most beat up looking dolls, chewed limbs, broken pieces, yellowed to hell and back. And then expect $$$ and even more than full price of a new doll. Generally it's not particularly offensive, but by the Gods if it doesn't get obnoxious when someone starts whining that nobody wants to buy their trash heap.
The fujoshi discussion was also quite ripe. It's no secret that probably 80%+ of the regular BJD hobby is women, and a lot of those women like men. The fujoshi discussion gets brought up ever few months? Years? And it's stupid every time. I remember the most recent incident being started again by a transman who took special offence to the large amount of M/M doll couples, and started getting angry when people dismissed his very misogynistic reasons as to why it's bad. Then tried to flip it around to homophobia and transphobia against him specifically, when all the people just told him to stop treating fujoshi as an insult and blah blah, you know the drill. People didn't buy it that he didn't just wanna admit defeat, but it kinda fizzled out when some other trans people entered the discussion, and some gay/bi men who also said that this was a stupid discourse. Also a few pretty heartfelt experiences by women explaining why they preferred male dolls over female dolls.
"Put a trigger warning on your amputee doll characters." Not a big discourse, but a few people talked about how they had gotten comments or DMs about tagging their dolls who represent amputees with trigger warnings. General consensus was "Fuck those people." To make this extra clear, these were just amputee characters, not horror or gore.
Did I mention Nazi dolls? Because there has been several rounds of drama around Nazi dolls. Most people agree that Nazi dolls, aka full Nazi uniform with the armband are a huge fucking no-go.... BUT, some people try to argue that "Well if you depict the doll as a disgusting pig wearing a Nazi uniform..." Yeah, that was a long wank session.
The honestly kinda an pointless argument about "Are you racist if your dark resin doll face-ups look ass?"
The argument is basically around dolls with dark resin tones who receive... unfortunate face-ups. The issue here is that in many cases the people getting called racist are really just bad at doing face-ups, which is especially hard on dark resins because it's hard to layer colors without it looking ass if you don't know what you're doing, and the main medium is just pastel chalks. Combine that with sealants that might leave behind a whiteish sheen with the topcoat, and you end up with a real ashy dusty looking mess.
While we're on face-ups, generally a lot of face-ups just objectively look like ass when you're not a professional face-up artist. It's just what happens when you don't know what you're doing and still learning, because you don't wanna spend $$$ on sending it to an actual artist. It's really fucking hard layering colors, and then painting over it to get details when you're just not that experienced yet.
Also thanks to the one person in my last anon mentioning "Dollshe" and his wait times:
Dollshe is a doll maker who's infamous for his year long wait times, and constant "sales." Apparently the dude bought himself a big fancy car, while people were still waiting for their dolls. Some wait times have exceeded half a decade. Guess what though! People still decided to take the chance. He's apparently closed shop now, and there are probably high double or low triple digits of people who haven't gotten their dolls yet. Not sure what his average price point is/was, but a quick check, the front page is filled with dolls starting at 800 going up. (So like 700-1 500)
https://olderthannetfic.tumblr.com/post/744582859159945216/744363402559995904reading-the-anon-abt-the-doll-h#notes
Also, yes, Anon is 100% correct. Smartdolls are basically just considered "honorary" BJD's because they fall under the same idea as the VOLKs dolfie dreams, and their creator just copied the idea. But generally, most people wouldn't refer to SMD's when speaking about BJDs, unless specified.
Since they are vinyl you do not have the same artistic freedom as you have with resin dolls, which you can customize heavily with various mediums. They also aren't as available for custom face-ups, and apparently the creator has a bit of an ego problem when it comes to that as well.
Another piece of drama: The joints of these dolls are internal skeletons as already explained. The problem a lot of people faced is that the joints would break quickly during posing.
Under normal circumstances you'd maybe assume you could get some customer service to replace the broken joint, or at least be able to buy one for free. WRONG. You had(have?) to buy the entire skeleton just to replace one broken joint. I also think there was a time where you couldn't even get a replacement skeleton, and were left with a broken doll.
Fun fact: Originally the "Smartdolls" were also supposed to be robotic, that's what the "Smart" originally referred to. That then got downgraded to a concept doll that got a bit of automated head shaking and limb moving, which then ended up with the creator backtracking and claiming "Smart" stood for "Social media art doll."
Also, while we're at it, he also made a cochlear implant disability device for his dolls. A pretty significant amount of HOH/Dead-BJD people criticized the inclusion of said device because of some medical issues of it. And guess what! Banhammer.
I also re-checked the story of the disabled person who got banned, and then made the creator post a "They aren't made for disabled people."
The doll the disabled person struggled with was a male doll, but because the male dolls were so rare, they didn't have a male skeleton, but the female standard. Meaning the skeleton inside the male doll shell was female, and the skeleton didn't properly match up with the vinyl male-doll shell. Which was one of the main reason they struggled so badly to reattach the limbs.
Bonus story: The creator has a real culty following, he has/had joined a few facebook groups around smartdolls. Apparently people noticed a pattern that he'd throw random tantrums in the groups, leave, and then the entire group had to grovel and praise him to get him to rejoin.
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