#as a rule my recommendations are always things I have played read watched or otherwise consumed and enjoyed
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Three Indie TTRPG Recommendations for November 2022 Itch Creator Day
I've seen a lot of excellent recommendation for Itch Creator Day (the day a couple times a year when Itch doesn't take a cut from game sales), but I wanted to share a couple of recommendations for games I don't seen discussed as often.
Squeakeasy by Caro Ascerion
An uproariously fun game where you play Prohibition era rodents running a speakeasy. This Forged in the Dark-lite hack works so well that I actually wish more FitD games would try to shed some of their mechanics.
I've run this as a one-shot twice. Both instances were some of the most hilarious and enjoyable short term games I've run: many instances of breathless laughing out loud, and players amped to tee up exciting moments for each other. Beyond the premise, Squeakeasy does really effective, succinct work to situate the PCs in a bar and larger ecosystem. The element of place does wonders for setting up a more emotionally fulfilling world and character arcs than can happen in a lot of one-shots, where a lot of one-shots are a heist/mission scenario where the player characters may have preestablished dynamics but are more unmoored from the location. $5 PDF on itch »
Invincible Sword Princess by Kazumi Chin
A game of postcolonial revenge where you play sword-wielding sisters journeying across the Hallows, seeking out your mother's killers.
I've run this as a one-shot and think it also has a lot of wonderful potential for a short campaign. This game is designed so well that even the really inexperienced players in my group were commenting on its thoughtfulness. There are a lot of really wonderful pieces, but in particular the intentional collective decision-making around setting elements and the mechanic for seeking insight build a gorgeously group-crafted game. Kazumi also has some absolutely golden GM guidance for constructing obstacles that has applications far outside this game. PWYW ($3 suggested) PDF on itch »
Together We Write Private Cathedrals by Rufus Roswell
A letter writing roleplaying game game in which you take on the roles of two lovers at some point in history and write a version of queer history.
This might be my favorite letter writing rpg of all time; it's been really lovely to play asynchronously and get to take the space and time to craft a response I'm excited with. I also want to call attention to the openness of the premise: any era of history is so much space to play in (my game happens to be 1920s vampires), and how the roll prompts present a fun challenge without boxing you in. The erasure elements has also been wonderful and heartbreaking. $5 PDF / $15 zine on itch »
#indie ttrpg#ttrpg#recommendations#game recommendations#as a rule my recommendations are always things I have played read watched or otherwise consumed and enjoyed#no endless listicle recommendations here i promise
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Don't Tell The Boss — CEO Jeon Wonwoo
✧ The First Chapter — Part of the SEVENTEEN World Series
You were off limits. Seungcheol had made that absolutely clear from the very start. Wonwoo knew that, the other CEOs did and even you were aware of that fact. But when Wonwoo is tasked to fill in for Seungcheol during his monthly legal consult, he certainly didn’t think that you’d be there, his best friend’s sister, the one person he wasn’t allowed to get close to. Then why did he suddenly find himself asking you out? And why did you say yes?
✧ Genre: CEO au; SMUT [18+]**, fluff, angst, slow-burn, best friend’s sister, family drama
**I've decided to post the smut as a separate post - you can find it here or at the end of the chapter – can be read as a stand alone, but it will make more sense if you read the chapter first!!
♥ Pairing: lawyer!reader x CEO!Jeon Wonwoo
✧ Word count: 29k+ (AND 2.1k smut)
✦ Warnings: mentions of alcohol, swearing, slightly suggestive, a very angry Cheol, one physical altercation, arguments arguments arguments, reader shares the same last name as Cheol, extremely overprotective brother, heartbreak, time skips (let me know if I missed any!)
✎ Notes:
1) I recommend to read the prologue before you read this chapter – you might miss some crucial info otherwise
2) the story is written from the perspective of Wonwoo AND reader
3) the chapter contains some snippets that will likely come back in the other CEOs chapters
♕ Shout out: thank you to @fugaciousserendipity for your input and proofreading :D and thanks @outromoni for the banner!
“Sir? Managing CEO Choi is on line two,” Wonwoo’s secretary, Park Hajoon, called from the door to his office. Almost immediately, a puzzling frown made its way onto Wonwoo’s face. As far as he knew, Sungcheol was on a business trip in Japan and he always let his secretary manage his business while he was away. This included any form of social interactions with the other 12 CEOs. According to him, he “needed to focus and didn’t want anything to distract him”, so it would have to be important if he decided to call during a trip. What could be so urgent that he had to break his own rule?
“Thanks, Hajoon. Close the door please.” Wonwoo watched as his secretary nodded and shut the door per his request, followed by him lazily running a hand through his dark brown locks. It took him a few seconds to move from his position, mainly because he needed to mentally prepare himself for what was about to come. Though he didn’t really want to admit it, this phone call made Wonwoo a little nervous. What could Seungcheol want from him specifically? Did he forget something? Did he do something to damage the company name? What the hell was it?
Deciding that keeping his friend waiting would probably only make things worse, he eventually forced himself to reach for the phone. “Hyung?” his deep voice sounded through the large office.
“Wonwoo, glad that I could reach you! I don’t have a lot of time, but I was hoping that you could do me a favor,” Seungcheol spoke up, his voice void of any anger or disappointment. Wonwoo released a small sigh of relief at that, already feeling the nerves that had crept into his body start to settle down. Literally no one – but really no one, wanted to be on the receiving end of Seungcheol’s wrath. Luckily for Wonwoo, today was not the day and he intended on keeping it that way.
“Uh, sure? What is it that you need?” He seriously hoped that it wasn’t anything that involved him having to sacrifice a lot of his precious time, because as CEO of SEVENTEEN Gaming, he already had more than enough things to worry about, especially now that the new game he’d been working on was close to being released. But, that ship sailed as soon as he heard the words come out of the managing CEO’s mouth.
“I need you to take over my monthly legal consultation meeting with the Kang Group tomorrow.” With some effort, Wonwoo suppressed a groan that threatened to come out and tried to play it off by clearing his throat rather loudly.
Seungcheol, who knew Wonwoo pretty much like the back of his hand, was quick to add a bit more information to his request. “I know you don’t like this official stuff, but I wouldn’t have asked if it wasn’t absolutely necessary. I need a few more days in Japan to secure this business deal and we could really benefit from taking on this new client. I promise, it won’t be too much work. Haewon will set everything up and send you a checklist with things you’ll need to discuss, so you won’t have to worry about a single thing.”
Song Haewon had been Seungcheol’s executive secretary for many years and Wonwoo had no doubt that she would arrange the whole thing from start to finish. That wasn’t the problem. No, Wonwoo just didn’t want to bother with all this legal crap and waste two hours of his time on something he wasn’t an expert in. Wasn’t that what a legal team was for anyway?
“But why me, Hyung? You could have literally asked anyone else. What about Seungkwan? He’s great at these types of meetings. Or what about Chan, Mingyu or Jeonghan Hyung?” he suggested as he took off his black-rimmed glasses with one hand, the other reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose in frustration.
These were the CEOs that knew quite a bit about legislation and did not shy away from dressing up into a suit and arguing with a bunch of officials, so Wonwoo just didn’t understand why Seungcheol was so adamant about it being him who would take over this meeting for him.
“Because I trust you the most with this, so I need you to be there, not anyone else. Just do this for me, please? I’ll owe you one.” Seungcheol was nearly begging by now. It wasn’t often that Seungcheol was this desperate, and if Wonwoo didn’t feel so pressured at that moment, he probably would have laughed at the absurdity of this whole situation.
“Fine, I’ll do it. Just send Hajoon the info and make sure that I don’t make a fool out of myself. But seriously, you owe me one, Hyung,” Wonwoo sighed, not in the mood to drag this on any longer than necessary. Besides, the fact that Seungcheol would be indebted to him after this didn’t sound too bad.
“Thank you, thank you. I’ll definitely owe you one. You’ll get all the relevant info within the next ten minutes. Just contact Haewon if you need any further info. I need to leave for another meeting now. You’re the best, Wonwoo!”
Before Wonwoo even had a chance to respond, Seungcheol had already ended the call, leaving a stunned Wonwoo sitting there in his comfy office chair. What had he just agreed to? And who was he even meeting? Seungcheol never let anyone take over these meetings, so it had to be some very important people.
The thing that probably stuck with Wonwoo the most was the fact that Seungcheol apparently trusted him the most with this. While it was nice to know that his friend valued him so much, it also confused him. It wasn’t like any of the other CEOs would try to purposely mess up the meeting. What did Wonwoo have that they didn’t? No matter how long and hard he thought about it, he couldn’t seem to understand the logic behind Seungcheol’s reasoning.
“Ah whatever, forget it,” he mumbled as he once again reached for the phone, pressing down on a button that he used way too often. “Hajoon, what’s next on my agenda?”
True to his words, Seungcheol had Haewon send over the necessary documents for tomorrow morning’s meeting. Wonwoo nearly wanted to call Seungcheol to back out last-minute when he was finally in the comfort of his own home, going over the meeting notes. So, to prevent him from disturbing Seungcheol on his trip and risking pissing him off by canceling, he called Mingyu instead, Flavor Factory SEVENTEEN’s CEO and also his closest friend.
Whenever Wonwoo was in doubt or about to take a big risk, he would search out Mingyu to ask for his opinion, and the younger CEO was always more than happy to help out his friend. The two of them had been in the same business for many years and even before that, they had already been extremely close, so Wonwoo was pretty confident to say that he trusted Mingyu with his life. Today was no different.
“Just do it, Hyung. I’m sure it won’t be that bad. Everything has already been laid out, so all you need to do is recite everything. And even if it is bad, Seungcheol Hyung will owe you one anyway, which is a big thing! Oh, and I’ll treat you to drinks. How does that sound?” As expected, Mingyu successfully managed to erase any doubts from Wonwoo’s mind and reminded him that he would get something out of it too.
“I guess that doesn’t sound too bad. I just don’t wanna mess it up, that’s all” Wonwoo groaned, throwing his head back to look at the high, white ceiling of his home office. “Thanks, dude…for the support, you know?”
“Anytime! Just let me know how it goes, yeah? I’m heading back into the kitchen. Dessert is about to be served,” the chef chuckled and only now, Wonwoo actually noticed the noise coming from the background, the sound of pots and pans clanging suddenly very audible. He’d no doubt been in the middle of cooking for guests and had taken some time to talk to his friend. Wonwoo could only smile at that. No matter how busy Mingyu was, he would always try to make time for the people he cared about.
“I will. Good luck with those desserts,” he managed to get in right before Mingyu started yelling at someone. This was followed by a quick goodbye to Wonwoo and then the call ended, leaving him alone with his thoughts once again. “Well, let’s do this,” he whispered to himself and grabbed the sheets of paper he’d need tomorrow.
Wonwoo wasn’t really a fan of wearing suits. Although he was a CEO, he usually chose casual clothes over chic. Jeonghan, being the fashion icon that he was, had already offered his services on numerous occasions in an attempt to get Wonwoo to dress up, but to no avail. Unless it was for a meeting or an important social event, Wonwoo liked to stick to his casual attire. Similarly, at SEVENTEEN Gaming, he encouraged people to work in their most comfortable outfit, even if that meant showing up to work in a track suit or pajamas. Wonwoo didn’t really care, as long as everyone did what was expected of them.
Well, he did have to implement some restrictions. One of the company’s now-previous interns apparently thought that it was funny to show up in nothing except for his swimming shorts, which had resulted in a number of complaints from his staff, so from then on, he allowed his employees to be comfortable, but not in a way that would make others uncomfortable (i.e., being naked or nearly naked). So far, it had worked out great, because his employees appreciated the lack of a strict dress code and it made sure that the work environment was pleasant and rather informal.
For this reason, Wonwoo felt a little uncomfortable as he entered headquarters. It was an enormous building and the difference between SEVENTEEN Gaming and SEVENTEEN World’s HQ was huge. There were numerous bodyguards spread around the lobby, nearly everyone was dressed in a suit or something equivalent and the vibe was way more official and formal than at his HQ. Wonwoo was happy that he never really had a reason to visit the main building, apart from the yearly shareholder’s meeting that always took place there, but that was pretty much it. Everything else was usually done through Zoom meetings and he liked it that way.
“Mr. Jeon!” Haewon, who’d been waiting for him in the lobby, immediately approached Wonwoo when she caught sight of him entering the busy lobby. The four bodyguards that were guarding the main entrance, politely bowed to him as he made his way towards the chirpy secretary.
“Haewon,” he nodded, after which he slightly adjusted the tie that suddenly felt uncomfortably tight around his neck. He was definitely going to swap this outfit for a more comfortable one as soon as that meeting was over.
“Please follow me, Sir. The meeting will start in fifteen minutes,” she told him while motioning for him to follow her. Despite her being rather short and in heels, she sure knew how to walk fast. He nearly even tripped over his own feet as he tried to match her pace, but was luckily able to catch himself just before he could hit the ground. After he quickly confirmed that no one had seen his near mishap (because that would have been embarrassing), he picked up the pace and joined Haewon at the elevators, where several SEVENTEEN World employees politely bowed to him.
Although Wonwoo had been a CEO for many years, the way people treated him still felt odd to him. Sure, he ran a successful business, but he was only human. There was no need for them to bow to him and there was certainly no need to take the next elevator just because he was in their presence. Obviously, he knew that this was a common way to show respect, but he deemed it unnecessary, which is why he always made sure to let every new employee at SEVENTEEN Gaming know that they didn’t need to be so formal with him. He was their boss, but he was also part of the team, just like everyone else.
“I already set everything up for you, Sir. There’s water over here, but if you’d like to request some other refreshments, just press the button to your right,” Haewon explained as she pointed one of the white buttons on the panel right from Wonwoo.
“Thank you, Haewon. I think I’ll be fine,” Wonwoo nodded and watched as Seungcheol’s secretary left the room before shifting his eyes to the checklist that he’d placed in front of him. Now, it was officially time for the nerves to settle back into his body. He was currently in a large fancy meeting room on the 30th floor with a large rectangular table in the middle and chairs placed around it, and a set of large windows functioning as walls. The layout of it all made the whole thing even more official in Wonwoo’s opinion.
As he was going over Seungcheol’s notes and stressing out about what could possibly go wrong, he barely even registered the sound of the door opening, completely in his own world. At least, that was until he heard the sound of an all-too-familiar voice.
“Wonwoo?”
—
You watched with an amused smile as the CEO came back to reality and shot up from his chair at the sound of your voice. The shock was evident on his face and you had an inkling that Seungcheol had left out some crucial information.
“Y/N? What are you doing here? You’re the one I’m meeting from the Kang Group?” He was clearly confused, his eyes going over your form and taking you all in, as if he needed to confirm that it was actually you.
“Yes, but I guess my brother wasn’t very specific, huh? I want to say that I’m surprised, but I’m really not,” you chuckled, not being able to stop yourself from admiring the man standing in front of you.
It had been a good three years since you last saw each other, at SEVENTEEN World’s 5-year anniversary party, which was probably one of the only few occasions where you got to interact with your brother’s friends. And even then, Seungcheol had tried to whisk you away any time you were getting a little too close for his liking. You’d told him many times that you were a grown ass woman and that you could make your own decisions, but he was stubborn.
As far as you could tell, Wonwoo hadn’t changed much at all. His hair had grown a bit longer and he looked more mature, but he was still the tall and handsome man with a smile that always made you feel some type of way. Okay, you might have always had a little crush on him, but it wasn’t like you had ever dared to act on it anyway. Seungcheol would have nipped that in the butt before it could have even taken off.
“No, he was pretty vague about it, and now I know why. You look good,” he blurted out, his eyes slightly widening at the realization of what he’d just said.
“Thank you. I-uh…” You felt your cheeks heat up as you stumbled over your words. Who knew that a simple compliment could affect you that much? “So do you,” you mumbled shyly. And since when were you ever shy around men? It was like you’d lost all your ability to function within the span of five minutes.
You had to eventually remind yourself that you were here to represent your company, not to flirt with your brother’s best friend. Right, your brother, the one who’d set this whole thing up because he trusted you and Wonwoo to handle his business with him being away for a few days. You couldn't afford to let yourself get distracted.
To break the awkward silence, you carefully cleared your throat before daring to speak up again. “Um, let’s start, shall we? We have a lot of things to go over.”
Wonwoo was quick to agree, holding out a seat for you so that you could sit down before taking a seat himself. Luckily, after the initial awkwardness, the two of you quickly switched to business mode and went over the list of points that needed to be discussed. And much to your surprise, you discovered that Wonwoo was a natural at it.
Though Seungcheol had told you that his friend wasn’t too fond of these types of meetings and didn't know a whole lot about legal matters, he was attentively listening to your every word. At first, you thought that he was simply feigning interest, but when he started to pitch some rather good ideas about halfway through the meeting, you were convinced that he was somewhat enjoying it.
You found yourself more drawn to him the further the meeting went on, sneaking the occasional glance at him when he was busy noting something down or adjusting his glasses to read something. It went completely against your moral code, but you couldn’t stop yourself. The man was already attractive, but to see him in action as CEO made him ten times more charming, especially with the little pout that appeared on his lips whenever he was focusing. And the dark blue suit, which fit him just right, didn’t leave much to the imagination either. You just prayed that you weren’t too obvious about it, because you didn’t want to seem like a love-struck high-school girl who couldn’t keep her emotions under control in front of a good-looking guy.
Little did you know that Wonwoo was going through his own internal struggles. The moment he laid his eyes on you, he knew that he was officially fucked. He’d always kept his distance because he respected Seungcheol enough not to get involved with his sister, but now that he got to be alone with you, he couldn’t resist taking full advantage of the situation. He knew that it was wrong and he probably should have listened to the voice in his head that was telling him to get his shit together, but how could he not when you looked so good?
It all made sense that Seungcheol had been so vague about the whole thing, and why he never let anyone else be involved in these meetings. Everyone knew that you worked for the Kang Group, but none of the CEOs were aware that you were the one managing Seungcheol’s legal consultations. But as the meeting progressed, he started to understand why you’d been put in charge. You weren’t just a pretty face, but you were smart, confident in your skills and not afraid to point out any deficiencies.
He found himself clinging onto your every word. It was probably the most time he’d ever spent with you, and though he was scared to admit it, he loved every second of it. Being with you, albeit in an official setting, made him feel something that he hadn’t experienced in a long time. He couldn’t pinpoint what it was exactly, but he knew that he didn’t want it to end with this.
That’s how the two of you ended up where you were right now, with Wonwoo confidently blocking your way to the exit after you’d given him your business card and prepared to take your leave. Giving him your business card had been your attempt to give him a way to contact you. If you’d given him your personal number, that would have been anything but professional, but this was appropriate in your eyes – and you hoped that he would actually use it, even if it was only for business purposes. You didn’t really care. All you knew is that you wanted to see Wonwoo again, regardless of the consequences. And you hoped that this was his attempt to do the same.
Though you appeared calm as your eyebrows raised in confusion, your heart was actually beating a hundred miles per hour while you waited for Wonwoo to explain himself. What if it was all in your head and he just wanted to ask you a business-related question? After all, that’s what you’d come here for in the first place.
You were convinced that was the case up until the moment he uttered the words Do you want to go on a date with me?. For just a moment, your body froze on the spot, your brain short circuiting as you tried to figure out that what you’d heard was not actually a figment of your imagination.
The man standing in front of you, who’d been so determined just a few seconds ago, suddenly became aware of what he’d done and his cheeks flushed a bright pink, something which you found quite endearing despite your state of shock. Your bet was that anyone walking past the see-through office would definitely wonder about what had caused the CEO to blush like that.
Realizing that you’d probably stayed silent much longer than socially accepted when being asked out, you managed to overcome the initial shock and blinked furiously as you tried to form an answer. But before you could even open your mouth, Wonwoo had already beat you to it.
“Shit, I’m sorry. That was so unprofessional. I’m sorry, ugh,” he frowned, slapping his right hand against his forehead.
“No, don’t be sorry. I was…uh, just a little surprised?” you squeaked, mentally cursing yourself for sounding so insecure.
“I should be sorry. You’re my best friend’s sister and here I am, trying to take advantage of that during a professional meeting.” Wonwoo then began pacing up and down, your eyes following his every move.
“Forget about this meeting or my brother for now. Please.” You stepped forward and placed your hand on his arm to stop him from moving, your eyes meeting once again. “Do you want to take me on a date or not?”
It took him a few seconds to respond, so you could only assume that he was having an internal conflict with himself with the way his expression hardened. You could only hold your breath as you awaited his response.
“Yes, I do,” he finally answered, his expression softening as he slowly nodded.
“Good, then we’re on the same page. You know how to contact me.“ You pointed to the business card that was still in his hand. “Until next time then, Mr. Jeon,” you grinned, suddenly having found your confidence again. That was the moment you decided that it was time to go, leaving a stunned Wonwoo behind.
Oh yeah, he was definitely screwed.
Mingyu nearly choked on his drink as soon as the words had left his best friend’s mouth. “Hyung, you did what now?!” Wonwoo, who wasn’t trying to attract any attention, quickly shushed the boisterous man beside him.
“Yah! Can you be any louder? I’m not trying to become a headline.” Wonwoo adjusted the black cap that covered some of his face, hoping that no one was paying much attention to the two of them. The bar they were at was nearly empty, so it was pretty unlikely that anyone would be able to overhear what they were talking about. But then again, he didn’t want to take any risks. “I don’t know what came over me, okay? Fuck, I just couldn’t let her leave without shooting my shot.”
“Damn, I can’t believe you actually had the guts to ask her out. And she said yes?! If Seungcheol Hyung ever finds out about this, all hell is going to break loose.” Mingyu shook his head before taking another swig of his whiskey.
“Don’t remind me please. The plan is for him to never find out. I might as well sign my own death certificate if that happens,” Wonwoo sighed, his fingers fumbling with the rim of his own whiskey glass. The thought absolutely terrified him, but still here he was, risking it all for a woman he wasn’t supposed to be involved with.
“You know I won’t tell anyone. Just be careful, yeah? And you better tell me everything. This one is definitely going down in the books,” Mingyu smirked, giving his friend a playful wink. “When is it gonna happen anyway?”
“I know, thanks for having my back as always. It’s happening this Sunday. Shit, I haven’t done this in forever. What if I mess it up?” A frustrated groan left Wonwoo’s mouth, which was followed by him gulping down his drink in an effort to calm his nerves.
It had been years since Wonwoo had last gone on a date. Compared to Mingyu, who was dating on and off here and there, Wonwoo was the total opposite. He’d been so engrossed in his work for the past few years that he’d completely neglected his love life, neither having had the time for it nor interested in it. Well, until you had stepped into that meeting.
“Just show her the real you and it will be fine.” Mingyu watched in amusement at the way his friend was stressing over something as simple as a date. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this worked up,” he snorted, giving the older man a playful punch in the shoulder, which earned him a scowl in return.
“How can I not be? It’s our best friend’s sister we’re talking about. Seriously, what the fuck was I thinking? I need you to talk some sense into me.” Wonwoo shook his head as his mind went over all the possible worst-case scenarios, in particular the one where Seungcheol would slowly kill him if he were to find out.
“No, what you need is another drink.” Mingyu motioned for the bartender to bring them another order of whiskey. “Now, stop freaking out and tell me your game plan,” he grinned.
“He didn’t try anything weird, did he?” your brother asked as the two of you were having dinner at one of his favorite restaurants. Your mind had been so preoccupied with you and Wonwoo’s upcoming date that you almost forgot about the dinner you were supposed to have with Seungcheol the day before. The thought of having to face your brother was enough to burst your happy bubble.
“Define weird?” you smirked, which earned a sigh from the older man.
“Y/N.”
“I’m just asking,” you shrugged. “But no, Cheol. Nothing weird.” As you took a bite of your food, you could just feel his eyes on your form. This was confirmed when you looked up, only to be met with such an intense stare that made you want to hide under your non-existent covers. “What?” you mumbled, your mouth still full of food.
“Are you sure he didn’t try to flirt with you?” For a second, you thought that he knew about your date with Wonwoo and was just testing to see if you’d actually lie to him. You felt the panic start to rise inside you and your only response at that moment was to nearly choke on the food in your mouth.
In an attempt to save yourself from further embarrassment – because you were sure that you’d already attracted the attention of the other dinner guests with your coughing, you reached for your water to get rid of the itch in your throat. “Y/N, answer the question,” Seungcheol frowned, his tone indicating that he wasn’t playing around.
“Yes, Cheol. I’m sure. He was professional and we handled things just fine as you saw. Now, can we please change the topic? I feel like I’m being interrogated and I don’t appreciate it.” And I will have to keep lying to you if you ask me any more of those questions. You were usually a very bad liar and if this continued any longer, Seungcheol would definitely start suspecting that something was wrong. That’s why you hoped that the topic regarding the other CEO could be dropped.
Besides, the mention of Wonwoo only made you feel giddy at the prospect of your date with him. Wonwoo had texted you on your work phone almost immediately after you’d left SEVENTEEN World HQ, and you’d eagerly shared your personal contact with him so that the two of you could discuss the date in more detail. He didn’t want to let on much, but he said to dress casual (which didn’t surprise you at all with what you’d heard about him), and that he would pick you up.
You absolutely didn’t want these thoughts roaming inside your head with Seungcheol keeping such a close eye on you. Part of you felt guilty doing this behind your brother's back, but then there was also the part of you that wanted to live life to the fullest and take a little risk here and there. And apparently, Wonwoo had similar feelings, or he wouldn’t have asked you out so brazenly.
“Y/N. You’re not even listening to a word I’m saying.” Seungcheol sounded annoyed and you realized you’d let your mind wander a little too far.
“No, I’m listening. Your business trip, dinner with the CEO of Yamazato. Continue,” you motioned, glad that you’d at least managed to catch a few of the things your brother had been rambling about. If this thing with Wonwoo was going to go anywhere, you’d definitely have to work on your poker face in front of your brother.
The day of your date, Wonwoo picked you up just like he said he would. You had to admit that the closer to the date you got, the more you started to doubt the whole thing, especially after the dinner you had with Seungcheol.
What if agreeing to this was a mistake after all? It wasn’t like you could risk going to any of your dear friends for advice either. You trusted them well enough with your secrets, but this one was different. Just one little slip up and the reputations of your brother, Wonwoo, and even you could be at stake if anyone outside your circle got wind of this. And the thought of having to bear the guilt of being the reason for such a scandal was enough to keep your mouth shut and suffer in silence instead.
But surprisingly, all of those fears vanished as soon as you spotted Wonwoo leaning against the passenger door of his black SUV when you exited your apartment building. Just the sight of him was enough to convince you that this was, in fact, not a mistake.
He was in full disguise, with a black cap hiding his hair, a pair of sunglasses covering his eyes and a mask in place to prevent anyone from recognizing him. The rest of his attire consisted of a brown leather jacket with a white t-shirt and a pair of blue jeans, finished with a pair of white sneakers – the casual fit a stark contrast from the dark blue suit he’d worn during your last meeting together.
You had also taken the necessary precaution, with the hood of your oversized beige hoodie and a mask similar to Wonwoo’s covering most of your hair and face. Despite your brother being the celebrity in the family, the public knew your face too, and you had no doubt that reporters would jump at the chance to air your dirty laundry too if they caught you out with a ‘mysterious man’.
“So, this is what you look like when you’re not playing the role of CEO?” you asked as you approached him, a grin plastered onto your face despite Wonwoo not being able to see it.
“To be honest, this is what I look like ninety-nine percent of the time. The suit is only for special occasions, but even then I practically have to force myself to wear it. Not a big fan as you can probably tell,” he chuckled, the vibrations of his deep voice sending shivers through your body.
“Noted. I won’t get too attached to the suit then. Can’t say I’m disappointed with this look anyway,” you teased, earning another chuckle from the man in front of you before he pushed himself away from the passenger door to hold it open for you.
“You ready for this?” he asked, and you guessed that he was giving you the chance to back out while you still could. But there was no way you’d go back now.
“Yeah, let’s go” you breathed, accepting his hand as you climbed into the car.
—
Wonwoo ended up taking you to his favorite arcade, which he’d made sure to reserve ahead of time so that the two of you could enjoy your date in private. When he’d initially suggested it to Mingyu, his friend had immediately approved of the idea and convinced him that it was a perfect date activity. However, on the ride there, with you sitting beside him and still not having a clue about where he was taking you, Wonwoo suddenly wasn’t sure if he’d made the right choice for a first date, especially since he didn’t know if you were into games like that.
He luckily didn’t have to worry for long, because as soon as he led you inside the building, he could see that he’d made the right decision with the way your eyes lit up.
“An arcade? Oh, wow! I haven’t been to one of these in ages. This is amazing. Thank you!” Your automatic response was to wrap one of your arms around Wonwoo’s arm as you looked around in amazement, catching the CEO by surprise – not that he was complaining. He was happy that you already felt this comfortable with him.
That’s what gave him the little bit of courage he needed to reach out and grab your hand with his free one. You froze for a moment, your eyes drifting down to your hand that was now engulfed in Wonwoo’s much warmer one. Fearing that he’d misread your gesture, he slowly started to pull his hand away in an effort to make it less awkward. But you were quick to tighten your grip on his hand and raised your head to look into his eyes.
“It’s okay,” you mumbled softly, causing Wonwoo’s heart to go into overdrive. You were seriously going to be the death of him. “Now please, can we play some games?”
The awkward tension was already forgotten, now replaced by a feeling of excitement at the thought of spending the next few hours together.
“Come on, let me show you my favorite game,” Wonwoo grinned, already in the process of pulling you in the direction of the air hockey tables.
It didn’t take long for the two of you to start fully enjoying your date. Your disguises had been discarded in the process, allowing you to read each other’s facial expressions freely without the threat of being discovered hanging over your heads.
Something Wonwoo discovered as you played the numerous games that were available in the arcade, was that you were just as competitive as he was. Originally, when the two of you started the first game of air hockey, he’d intended to go easy on you and maybe let you win a few times.
That was until he realized that he started to struggle with scoring points, whereas you were very much in the lead. This resulted in you teasing him about what kind of gamer CEO he was if he couldn’t even win from an amateur. So, for the next few games, Wonwoo decided to just throw the chivalry aside and treated you as he would any other opponent, which, in all honesty, made it that much more fun for the both of you.
You spent a good few hours trying out the large variety of games, while occasionally taking a break for snacks and drinks. And it also gave the two of you the opportunity to get to know each other better. You found out about Wonwoo’s love for cats, and how he adopted two of them through Vernon’s cat rescue center about three years ago: Shiro and Saja. He also shared the fact that he couldn’t cook to save his life. You nearly couldn’t stop laughing when he told you about the time he’d almost burned down the kitchen while trying to make a simple sandwich with the help of Mingyu.
Many times, Mingyu had tried to teach him, but Wonwoo somehow still managed to either ruin or burn something every single time, much to his best friend’s dismay. It was safe to say that he’d been banned from any of Mingyu’s kitchens, both for his own sake and that of others. So, Wonwoo had come to terms with the fact that he was just not made for cooking and he was totally fine with that.
In return, you shared some of your own stories and things that kept you busy. Among other things, Wonwoo learned that you were very passionate about your job (which he had sort of guessed already), had a cat of your own – Bom, and that you had a fear of deep and open waters. This was the result of a near-drowning experience you had as a child, where you’d fallen out of a moving boat and had to be rescued by your parents. Wonwoo made a mental note to never mention the idea of a cruise to you.
Neither of you wanted the date to end, but Wonwoo also knew that he had a bunch of work waiting back home. Hajoon had made sure that he’d have enough to fill a whole evening, and he couldn’t afford to ignore it since he had an important meeting tomorrow – one where he and his team were supposed to go over the finances for the new game they had been working on for months.
But, it was pretty obvious that this date would not just be a one-time thing. After he’d dropped you off at home, Wonwoo promised that he’d text or call you for a follow-up date as soon as his schedule would allow it.
When he’d made sure that you’d safely entered your building, a smile started to form behind his mask as he drove further and further away from your home, still not quite believing that the date had gone so well. And though it should have concerned him, the fact that you were his best friend’s sister did not even cross his mind once.
It took about a week of you anxiously waiting for Wonwoo to ask you out on another date. Ever since your first date had come to an end, you hadn’t heard from him again. Not a text, not a call, nothing. At first, you assumed it was because he was busy. He was a CEO after all. But then your mind started to wonder after about three days of radio silence. Had he suddenly changed his mind about dating you? And even if he had – which you could have totally understood, he could have at least let you know instead of leaving you in the dark. Not knowing was driving you absolutely insane and you hated yourself for being so affected by a man you’d only had one date with.
On Sunday night, exactly one week after your date, he finally called you while you were cuddling on the couch with Bom. You hadn’t been expecting it, so you assumed it was either your brother or work who’d be calling so late.
“Wonwoo?” You quickly sat yourself up, much to your cat’s annoyance, who was quick to leap from your lap onto the ground to find another one of his cozy spots.
“Y/N. I’m so sorry I didn’t call sooner. I know it’s not a good excuse, but this week was crazy,” Wonwoo’s apologetic voice sounded through the speaker of your phone.
You shook your head, even though you knew that he couldn’t see you. “It’s okay, Wonwoo. You’re a CEO and CEOs are busy. I get that.”
“Good. I just didn’t want you to think that I was backing out of this,” he sighed, sounding somewhat relieved that you weren’t cussing him out.
“Don’t worry, I wasn’t.” Lie. But he didn’t need to know that. At least your mind was put at ease now that he’d confirmed that he still wanted to continue this with you.
“Okay, so about that date..,” he started, after which the two of you fell into a comfortable conversation about your next meetup.
The next time you saw Wonwoo was only two days after the late-night phone call. The plan was to have a private dinner at a Japanese restaurant. However, per your request, your date started with him giving you a tour of SEVENTEEN Gaming. You were genuinely interested in the work he did and you were trying to understand what it was that his company did exactly. Sure, you’d heard stories from Seungcheol and read some things online here and there, but it was much better to hear it from the actual source.
When you realized that he was going to give you a tour with all his employees still in the building, you started to question whether this was a good idea. Because people meant eyes on the two of you, and eyes on the two of you meant that people were going to talk…to other people, who could potentially tell your brother. Just the thought already made you want to crawl in a hole.
Wonwoo was quick to assure you that his employees knew how to be discreet and were expected to keep whatever or whoever they saw to themselves, which included you apparently. Although he was a pretty laid-back CEO, Wonwoo didn’t like gossip and he wasn’t afraid to use his power as CEO to put his employees in their place if needed. You still had your doubts, but you decided to trust him on this. As long as word didn’t get to your brother, you were fine with almost anything.
“Wow, so you really manage all of those things? That sounds insane,” you gawked, completely in awe as your eyes darted across the chart displayed on the large screen in front of you. Wonwoo could only chuckle at your adorable reaction.
“It’s not like I manage all of those by myself. I have many people helping me. Here.” he pointed at the top of the chart, where his picture was located. “I’m mainly involved in the development of new games, as well as some administrative stuff and marketing. Technically, I’m involved in a little bit of everything and I give my input here and there, but I trust my employees to deliver good results without me having to look over their shoulder the whole time.”
You slowly nodded, taking it all in. Wonwoo then moved his hand to the left part of the chart when he was sure that you’d processed it all. “These people manage the gaming centers that are located in South Korea, but also those abroad.” He moved his hand again, this time to the right side of the chart. “And this group of people manages the eSports tournaments that we organize on a yearly basis. They collaborate a lot with SEVENTEEN TV since we also air them on national TV, but you probably knew that already,” he said, to which you hummed in acknowledgment.
Of course, how could you not know about that? Every year around October, people from all around the country and other parts of the world would flood into the city for SEVENTEEN Gaming’s legendary eSports tournament. The promotion for the event was huge and from what Seungcheol had told you, there were usually hundreds of teams fighting for a spot at the top. In other words, the competition was insane. It totally made sense though, especially when there was a prize of 150 million won on the line.
One of your favorite things about the tour was probably the VR cave, where you got a sneak peek of the game that was set to release next month. You were truly impressed with what Wonwoo had accomplished in such a short span of time. It also made you wonder how the other CEOs were managing their large businesses. Maybe someday you’d be able to get a tour from each of them – that is, if you could convince your brother first.
On your third date, Wonwoo took you stargazing after you’d had a pretty rough day at work. He remembered you sharing with him that you liked looking at the stars because they calmed you down, so he felt that it was the perfect idea for a date night. Mingyu had even offered to provide the food for a little picnic. Now, who in their right mind would refuse that?
Wonwoo also remembered that night as the night that he got to kiss you for the first time.
—
“It’s so pretty. Thank you for remembering and taking me here,” you said, your eyes never faltering from the stars above you. The two of you had filled up your empty stomachs with Mingyu’s delicious food creations and a complimentary champagne that left you with a satisfying buzz.
“How could I forget?” Wonwoo was sitting right beside you on the picnic blanket, your legs and arms touching as you both observed the little balls of light lighting up the dark sky.
He thought you looked so beautiful, even with the dark circles underneath your eyes and the baggy outfit you’d quickly thrown on when Wonwoo showed up at your doorstep without a warning. Everything about you was just so intoxicating, and as the days went on, he found himself thinking of you more and more, always looking forward to the next time he’d get to see you.
Without Wonwoo realizing it, you were no longer looking at the stars. Instead, your eyes were now focused on the CEO sitting beside you, his mind definitely somewhere else.
A nudge to his side eventually snapped him out of his daze, which was followed by the sound of your angelic giggles. His eyes instantly sought out yours to let you know that you had his full attention.
“You’re supposed to look at the stars, you know?” Your voice was soft and Wonwoo hummed in response, a smile playing at the corner of his lips at the fact that you’d caught him zoning out.
“I think I found something better,” he teased. You just rolled your eyes before giving him a playful push, trying to fight the smile that was threatening to appear.
“You're so cheesy, you know that?”
“Maybe, but it's working. Yo-” His breathing hitched as you suddenly reached up to carefully push his glasses, which had slid down a little, back up his nose.
“What?” you asked, looking up at him with big curious eyes. You really had no idea what kind of effect you had on him when you did small things like that.
“Just you. This. I feel lucky to be here with you.” Now it was your turn to feel flustered – your cheeks heating up at the way Wonwoo was looking at you, his eyes not once straying from yours.
“Wonwoo…” His name left your lips in a mumble, which caused his focus to shift to your lips for just a brief moment. But it was enough for him to want to be even closer to you.
“Can I?” Wonwoo's voice had gone down to a whisper, his eyes darting back and forth between your lips and eyes. You quickly nodded, seeming to want it just as much as he did.
That was all the confirmation he needed before leaning forward to touch his lips to your soft ones, covered in a thin layer of lip balm. Your lips met him halfway, just as eager to get close to him. Wonwoo nearly wanted to sigh in relief when your lips finally collided, because it was something he’d been wanting to do ever since he’d gone on that first date with you. He had no idea how he’d managed to control himself for so long, but he was glad he’d held out until now.
Your lips were addicting. That much he knew already from those few seconds he’d been kissing you. But when you turned your body slightly to clutch onto the brown leather jacket that he was wearing, Wonwoo lost every ounce of self-control he had. His right arm slid around your waist and he tugged you into him without a warning, eliciting a little moan from you that had Wonwoo groan into your mouth.
It didn’t take long before he had you situated in his lap, and the next thing he knew, your tongue was licking across his bottom lip – he was all too willing to accept. Wonwoo didn’t care about anything else at this moment. Not even the fear of being caught out in the open could pull him away from you right now. He was completely hooked on the taste of your strawberry lip balm, the brush of your nose against his skin and the way one of your hands had found its way into his hair, giving him goosebumps from the way you were softly tugging on it.
But much too soon for Wonwoo’s liking, you pulled away. His lips quickly chased after yours, not wanting the euphoric high to end. At the sound of your laughter, he was eventually pulled back to reality, his eyes slowly fluttering open.
“I gotta breathe, Wonwoo.“ The man in question almost groaned out loud at the sight of your swollen lips, feeling a sense of pride that he’d been the cause of that. Not anyone else.
“Breathing is overrated,” he huffed, hands coming to a rest on your waist while his fingers played with the hem of your hoodie.
“Not if you want to kiss me again.” A grin formed on Wonwoo’s face at the sound of your words.
“You’re gonna let me do it again?”
“Is that even a question?” you said, a grin of your own now adorning your face before you leaned in to connect your lips once again.
Yeah, Wonwoo could get used to this.
—
On your fourth date, the two of you were nearly caught by your brother, who decided that a Wednesday night was the right time to stop by your apartment…unannounced. You and Wonwoo had just finished the takeout you’d ordered and were in the middle of a movie when the sound of your doorbell startled the two of you. That caused you to nearly knock the popcorn bowl out of Wonwoo’s hands.
—
“Ah, shit, I’m sorry,” you cursed, quickly apologizing to Wonwoo as you scrambled off the couch and sprinted towards your intercom system. Your face paled at the sight that greeted you on the small screen. “Oh fuck! You need to hide, like now!”
“Hide? What are you talking about?” Wonwoo questioned, now coming closer to see what got you so fired up all of a sudden.
“It’s my goddamn brother. I don’t even know why he’s here, but you need to hide if you want the both of us to come out of this alive,” you whined, placing your hands onto Wonwoo’s back and pushing him in the direction of your bedroom.
That seemed to switch the gears in Wonwoo’s head, the confusion immediately replaced with pure fear. All this time he’d been so stuck in this happy bubble with you that he completely forgot about the danger that was your brother, his best friend.
“Wait, shit. My phone!” Wonwoo quickly changed his direction and rushed over to the couch, where he snatched his phone and any other traces of his presence.
Meanwhile, you’d buzzed your brother in just because you couldn’t exactly leave him standing there. He’d already rang the bell twice and you knew that he was going to start calling you to ask about your whereabouts if you didn’t open the door. You couldn’t exactly lie to him and pretend that you weren’t home, especially when you were such a bad liar.
“Why are you still here? Wonwoo, I’m not even kidding, he’s gonna be here any minute!” You felt like you were officially going to lose your mind.
“Are you sure I didn’t leave anything? Just check t-” Wonwoo started, but he was quickly cut off by you as you grabbed a hold of his wrist and started to drag him towards your bedroom. This wasn’t exactly how you wanted to show him your bedroom, but this was an emergency.
“Forget about your things. If my brother catches you here, we’re going to have bigger problems. Just put your phone on silent and hide in my closet. I’ll try to get rid of him,” you said, pushing him into your walk-in closet. That was the exact moment the doorbell rang, indicating that your brother had made it to your front door. “Not a sound.”
After that, you quickly closed the door and rushed out the room, making sure to close your bedroom door too before you made your way towards your front door. Your heart rate was out of control and you hoped that you could at least keep your facial expressions under control while facing your brother.
“Cheol! What are you doing here?” He was still dressed in a suit, so you guessed that he’d just gotten off work and went straight to your place.
“Can’t I just visit my little sister?” he asked, stepping forward to enter your apartment.
“You could have at least called,” you grumbled, even though you were freaking out on the inside. The plan was to get rid of him, not for him to invite himself into your apartment. “Cheol, do you mind? I was in the middle of something.”
“In the middle of what exactly? Do you have a guest?” You noticed his eyes scan the room for a few seconds before something on the floor caught his attention. “Are these men’s shoes? Are you dating someone?” he questioned, his eyes narrowing as they focused back on you.
How could you have forgotten about the damn shoes?
“Yah, that’s none of your business. I’m a grown ass woman. Now, can you please just go?” You were begging, already fed up with the fact that Seungcheol had shown up without notifying you.
“Don’t you think I should meet this guest of yours? Seems pretty serious if you’re even inviting him over.” This man really did not understand boundaries when it came to your personal life.
“No, Cheol. You’re not meeting anyone tonight. You’re my brother, not my babysitter.” You crossed your arms, trying to come off as intimidating as possible. Then again, it was your brother you were talking about. There was no way he’d ever feel intimidated by you.
“Fine, I’ll go. Let me at least meet the guy sometime. I just want to know if he’s good enough for you,” Seungcheol responded, but you’d already had enough and were in the middle of pushing him out your front door.
“Goodnight, Cheol.” As soon as he was out the door, you simply shut the door in his face, not even feeling guilty in the slightest. “That’s what he gets for showing up without a warning,” you mumbled.
Still, you felt a little paranoid, so to make sure that he’d really left, you peeked through the peephole before deeming the coast clear.
“Okay, he’s gone!” you called, taking that moment to lean your back against the wall as you tried to recover from that nerve-wracking moment. You were truly thankful that Seungcheol hadn’t recognized Wonwoo’s shoes and you were glad that the coats were hidden behind a door. Your brother definitely would have made the connection if he’d spotted his best friend’s brown leather jacket. The same goes for his car, which you’d told him to park in your underground garage in case someone would spot it.
Wonwoo appeared a few seconds later and you immediately let yourself collapse into his arms, the severity of the whole situation suddenly weighing down on you all at once.
“That was scary as hell,” Wonwoo sighed, his hands gently rubbing your back to calm you down. “Do you think he knows?”
Leaning back slightly to look up at him, you shook your head. “No, I don’t think so. We were lucky this time, but I don’t ever want to do that again.”
“Fuck no. I’d like to keep my sanity,” he chuckled and despite the situation, you also managed to crack a smile at that.
“Oh, and just so you know,” you started, pointing towards the dreaded shoes that had almost given him away, “you might want to burn your shoes after tonight.”
—
It was about a week after that incident that Wonwoo first saw Seungcheol again. Every three months, each of the CEOs was supposed to submit a quarterly report to ensure total transparency towards the public as well as each other. And as managing CEO of SEVENTEEN World, Seungcheol took this matter very seriously.
Wonwoo was technically supposed to have submitted it a few days ago, but he’d gotten distracted and asked for a few days of extension. Truth was, he’d been spending more time with you and he’d totally forgotten about it. It was only when Hajoon had sent him the usual reminder, he realized that he would never make the deadline in time.
It was unlike Wonwoo to miss a deadline and so it came as no surprise that Seungcheol himself had insisted on coming to pick up the report in person. Wonwoo had no doubt that his friend was curious and wanted to know what was going on with him – that was just the kind of friend Seungcheol was, always checking up on his friends, no matter how busy he was. And really, Wonwoo was happy to have a friend like him. But right now was just not the right time, especially when the reason he missed the deadline was no one other than his dear sister.
“Is everything okay with you?” Seungcheol asked as soon as Wonwoo had closed the front door behind the CEO. The younger man mentally cringed at the question, knowing that it was practically unavoidable with Seungcheol being the nosy person he was.
“I'm fine, Hyung. If it's about the report, it just kinda slipped my mind with everything else I have going on.”
“Are you sure? I'm used to Seungkwan asking for an extension because we all know that he's doing too much for his own good, but this is the first time you've ever asked for one. You can tell me if there's something going on or if there's anything I can do…,” Seungcheol offered as they made their way into the living room.
“It's nothing serious. I've just been busy with other things, nothing to worry about.” Seungcheol nodded, his eyes scanning over Wonwoo's form for a few seconds.
“If you say so. By the way, I never really said it to you personally, but thanks again for stepping in for me the other day. I know it must have come as a surprise to see my sister there, but I didn’t want to scare you off.” Wonwoo could only nod at his friend’s words, too afraid that he would give himself away if he opened his mouth. Luckily for him, Seungcheol wasn’t bothered by Wonwoo’s lack of response and continued.
“But I’m glad everything went well. I knew that I could trust you with this. If I’d sent Mingyu or Jeonghan, who knows what they would have tried with Y/N. We both know that they flirt without even trying. With you, I at least knew that I didn’t have to worry about that.” The older man grabbed onto his shoulder and squeezed down gently before offering Wonwoo a grin.
“R-Right,” Wonwoo stuttered as a sinking feeling settled in the pit of his stomach. Some friend he was. The man trusted him with his sister and what did he do? Go behind his back and date her. And worst of all? Despite the guilt he felt or the consequences that came with dating you, Wonwoo had absolutely no intention of staying away from you.
“Wonwoo? The report?” Seungcheol’s voice snapped him right out of his thoughts.
“The report, yes! I’ll grab it for you. Just make yourself at home, Hyung.”
On the way to his home office, Wonwoo shook his head at himself for nearly losing his shit at the mention of you. If he didn’t want to end up in a coffin, he’d have to find a way to maintain his composure. Because there would come a time when he would have to face you in a setting where Seungcheol, with his hawke-eye vision, would also be present.
As Wonwoo returned with the report, Seungcheol was in the middle of admiring a large glass showcase that was filled with the many prizes Wonwoo had acquired over the years. This included the trophies he’d won himself by participating in gaming tournaments – even before he started his business, as well as the large number of awards he and his team at SEVENTEEN Gaming had managed to collect from prestigious game award shows and conferences such as the Game Developers Conference and The Games Industry Awards. Wonwoo was proud of everything he’d accomplished so far and he wasn’t planning on slowing down anytime soon.
“Hyung? The report,” Wonwoo’s voice echoed through the room, catching the attention of the other CEO. He accepted it without another word and leafed through it for a couple of seconds before nodding.
“Looks good. I have to get going though. Haewon is on my case since I’m already kinda late for a lunch meeting, but I will make sure to read through it before the end of the day.” He patted Wonwoo’s back as the two of them made their way back to the front door. That was until Seungcheol suddenly stopped in his tracks, his gaze pointed at one of the two small tables that decorated the entrance hall.
“Hyung?” Wonwoo’s own eyes shifted to the small table, curious as to what could have caught his friend’s attention. His eyes finally stopped on a piece of jewelry, a silver bracelet – your bracelet to be exact.
—
“Surprise!” your smiling face greeted Wonwoo after he’d opened the front door. Your hands were full of bags and he was quick to take them off you after pressing a soft kiss to your lips.
“What’s the occasion?” While you were busy taking off your coat and shoes, he curiously peeked inside the bags to find a bunch of vegetables, noodles and spices.
“Well, since you released that game you’ve been working on so hard, I thought I’d celebrate with you and let you finally taste my cooking,” you smiled and crouched down to greet the curious cats that had gathered at your feet. “Because we both know that you’ll just eat ramen or end up ordering takeout instead.”
Wonwoo laughed at that, his heart warming at the fact that you already knew him so well. After the release event, the other CEOs had congratulated him with his achievement and Mingyu had even offered to have dinner together, but Wonwoo had refused. Usually, after a big release, he just liked to be in the comfort of his own home with a good book or one of his games, and a simple meal to fill up his stomach. You just happened to be the exception to his rule.
And so you ended up cooking for Wonwoo in the huge-ass kitchen that he never even used. You didn’t let Wonwoo help you at all – which was probably for the best, but he watched in amazement as you prepared all the ingredients while switching your attention between the two cats that had taken a liking to you, and himself. At some point, you’d taken off your bracelet so that you could mix all the ingredients with your hands and Wonwoo had placed it onto a small side table to keep it safe.
Though Wonwoo would never tell Mingyu, your japchae was probably better than the chef’s version of the dish. It was honestly one of the best meals he’d ever had and as a CEO who was often invited to dinner parties, he’d eaten quite a number of delicious meals prepared by some of the world’s top chefs. He made sure to let you know exactly that by kissing you senseless after he’d helped you clean up the dishes, and you were more than happy to accept his offer.
But unfortunately for the two of you, you got called away for work before it could go anywhere and left in a hurry, completely forgetting about the bracelet. That’s why Wonwoo moved it to the table in the entrance hall, with the intention to return it to you as soon as possible.
—
“You know…Y/N has one exactly like this,” Seungcheol pointed at it and Wonwoo could already see his life flash right before his eyes. Was this it? Was this already the end of your story and possibly his life?
“R-Really? That’s such a coincidence!” Wonwoo exclaimed nervously, his mind going over the possible scenarios that would justify the bracelet being at his place without giving away his secret.
“It really is. Only a few of those were made.” The neutral look on Seungcheol’s face was suddenly replaced by a frown. “I gave it to her when she became a lawyer, and had it personalized even.” Fuck, there was no way he could let Seungcheol examine the piece up close.
“Don’t worry, Hyung. I had a…uh, a date the other night and she forgot this.” A date, really? That’s all he could come up with?
The other CEO raised his eyebrows at Wonwoo’s confession. “A date? Didn’t know you were back in the game.”
“Mingyu set it up for me, thought I’d try it for once.” Wonwoo made a mental note to let Mingyu in on his lie, because Seungcheol would definitely want to bring this up at a later point in time.
“Good, because for a second, I thought I might have to kill you,” Seungcheol grinned, even though his eyes were telling a different story. Something about his mood had definitely changed and it sent chills down Wonwoo’s spine. “Anyway, I’ll see you at the next meetup.” After giving Wonwoo another pat on the shoulder, Seungcheol put his shoes back on and left the house after a quick goodbye, leaving behind a relieved but confused Wonwoo.
Later that night, he met up with you at your place to give you back the bracelet you’d forgotten a few nights ago and he made sure to inform you about what had transpired with your brother.
“What do you mean my brother saw this bracelet at your place?” You were on full alert now, the work you were doing on your laptop completely forgotten.
“I forgot that it was there and I didn’t think about it, I’m sorry.” Wonwoo, on the other hand, was distracted by your cat that was now comfortably snuggled in his arms. You bit your lip anxiously, not understanding how he could bring it up so nonchalantly.
“He fucking knows, there’s no other way,” you eventually said, beginning to pace up and down your living room.
“Do you think I’d be standing here if he knew?” You stopped your pacing to look at the man that was petting your cute little ball of fur.
“You have a point, but still. He had this made specifically for me, engravings and all. There’s no way he doesn’t know,” you shook your head, not convinced at all. You knew your brother and he certainly wasn’t a fool.
“He didn’t get to see it up close though. I lied and said that it belonged to a date I had.”
“Really? That was what you decided to go with?” you snorted and Wonwoo cringed at how bad that sounded.
“I know, it’s not good. But…he seemed fine when he left.” He decided that it was best to leave out the mood switch and the part where Seungcheol had basically threatened him. You were already stressed about the whole thing, so Wonwoo didn’t want to be the reason to add to that.
“Are you sure about that?”
“Yes, I’m pretty sure. Let’s just not worry about it and do something fun, hmm?” Wonwoo suggested and let Bom jump out of his arms.
You sighed, throwing your head back briefly as you tried to calm yourself down. “I have more work to do, Wonwoo.” The man apparently didn’t care, because he simply wrapped his arm around your waist and playfully trailed his lips across your jaw before placing a soft kiss onto your cheek.
“There’s always more work to do. Just relax with me. I didn’t come here to see you work,” he teased, his hands moving to squeeze your sides.
“Fine,” you rolled your eyes, not finding it in you to say no to him with the way he was trying to persuade you. “You choose the show. I’ll get the wine.”
“Yes, Ma’am,” the CEO responded, a smile tugging at his lips as he watched you make your way into the kitchen.
In the month that followed, you and Wonwoo continued to go on dates in secret whenever time allowed for it. The more time you spent with the CEO, the more you realized how much you liked the man. No, scratch that, you’d already fallen for him. Hard. And you only hoped that he felt the same. Well, with the way he was spoiling you with gifts and spending nearly all his free moments with you, you guessed that he felt the same way about you.
Despite how well things were going between the two of you, it didn’t take away the fact that dating in secret was tough and exhausting. On top of hiding it from your brother, you also needed to hide it from the public, which meant that the only dates you could truly enjoy in peace were the ones at home or those where the space was rented out for just the two of you.
You were aware that Mingyu knew about you and Wonwoo, which made you slightly envious of their friendship. It would have been nice if you had someone to share your secret with. But every time you thought of finally sharing your dating life with your close friends, that little voice in your head returned and convinced you that it would be catastrophic if anyone in your circle were to accidentally leak something to the press or your brother. It just wasn’t worth it.
That didn’t mean, however, that they didn’t notice a positive change in you. And you may have had to lie and say that it was because you were killing it at work – which wasn’t a lie, but that was beside the point.
Similarly, Wonwoo had told you that his friends had mentioned during the monthly get-together that they noticed a change in him too, though they weren’t sure what it was. Of course, Seungcheol took that opportunity to bring up the ‘date’ that Mingyu had set up for him and naturally, everyone wanted to know about the woman that got Wonwoo to put himself out there again.
And boy, was he glad that he hadn’t forgotten to tell Mingyu about the lie he’d told their older friend. Because the chef was quick to jump to his best friend’s aid and spewed enough bullshit about the mysterious woman to keep the others satisfied for a while.
Speaking of changes in behavior, your brother had been checking in on you way more than you were used to. Normally, you saw him once or twice a month – one of those times being the consultation that had become part of your routine and the other usually dinner at one of your favorite restaurants. However, in the span of just three weeks, Seungcheol had suddenly become much more involved in your life – much to your annoyance.
He now called you at least twice a week to ask if you wanted to meet up for dinner or drinks, and never failed to ask about your plans, in particular who you were meeting with. As if that was any of his business.
When you’d finally gotten sick of his new-found hobby, you asked him what his problem was. His response? He had more freetime and wanted to spend that time on family, meaning you. You immediately called his bullshit, even though you didn’t explicitly tell him that.
Thinking back on it, you were reminded of just a few weeks ago, when he’d suddenly showed up at your place without as much as a warning. At that time, he thought that you were dating someone because of the men’s shoes near your front door, so you assumed that this was his way of ‘investigating’ in the most subtle way. Obviously he wasn’t as slick as he thought he was.
You had also voiced your concerns to Wonwoo, and he admitted that he too had noticed some changes in his friend. For one, Seungcheol had suddenly shown up at the SEVENTEEN Gaming HQ a week after the monthly get-together. Of course, there was nothing wrong with visiting a fellow CEO, but what made it strange was that Seungcheol never stopped by without informing Hajoon or himself about it beforehand.
He’d claimed that he wanted to visit each HQ on a more regular basis to be more involved, which was strange in itself. Seungcheol was already as involved as he could be, and with more than enough work on his plate, Wonwoo couldn’t understand why he would want to add a bunch of random visits to that.
To confirm that he wasn’t going crazy and Seungcheol wasn’t just keeping tabs on him because he suspected something between you and him, Wonwoo checked in with Mingyu and several of the CEOs to inquire whether Seungcheol had paid them a visit too. Much to Wonwoo’s relief, the managing CEO had visited Mingyu and Soonyoung’s HQ the day before, and Jisoo and Minghao’s HQ the day after his visit to SEVENTEEN Gaming – also without so much as a notice.
In Wonwoo’s eyes, that was one less thing to worry about, especially since he had other things that demanded his attention. You didn’t know it yet, but for the past week, he’d been planning a surprise for you with Mingyu’s help.The two of you had been dating for about two months now and he wanted to do something special for you. Though you would probably tell him that he was already doing more than enough for you. It was true, but Wonwoo wanted to do this. He was utterly obsessed with you, in the most positive sense of the word. After all those years he’d spent single and too focused on his work, he now had someone that he could shower with all his pent-up love.
Chic, was the only word that came to mind when you spotted the car that came to pick you up on a balmy Saturday evening. All Wonwoo had told you was that he was taking you out and for you to dress fancy, whatever that meant. If you had to go by Wonwoo’s definition of fancy, it was probably okay to show up in a nice pair of jeans and a simple sweater. But you were glad that you’d gone for a more appropriate choice after seeing the driver, who was dressed in a black suit, exit the car.
Said man quickly rushed over to the other side upon your arrival and held the door open for you after greeting you with a small bow. You returned the gesture and slightly lifted the skirt of your ankle-length dress before you got yourself seated in the expensive vehicle.
During the twenty minute ride, your mind started to go over all the possibilities that would require you to dress up like this – especially seeing as Wonwoo liked to keep things casual. You just didn’t understand why he would force himself into a situation that would potentially make him feel uncomfortable. But it did get you all the more excited and thrilled the closer you got to your final destination.
When you’d reached your stop, the driver, who’s name was James, escorted you out of the car and into the large restaurant that was probably one of the best-rated restaurants in Seoul: Flavory Factory SEVENTEEN. You’d visited a couple of times with your brother and you had to admit that the food was absolutely delicious, so you definitely understood the hype. And you also understood why Wonwoo had asked you to dress up. Showing up to a Michelin star restaurant in a casual outfit would have been inappropriate and would guarantee a bunch of bizarre looks from both employees and other dinner guests.
James left you alone when you’d reached the entrance hall and motioned for you to continue your way to the large set of doors. There, you were greeted by a friendly-looking woman who no doubt worked at the restaurant.
“Right this way, Ms. Choi,” she smiled, opening the two doors that led to the dining area. No matter how many you’d come here, you were still amazed at the layout of the whole place. The ceilings were high and completely made out of glass, offering an incredible view of the sky, both during the day and at night – undoubtedly your favorite part about the restaurant. You were so focused on the stars that were now visible through the see-through ceiling, that you didn’t even notice the man that was observing your every move, completely mesmerized by your beauty.
“Wow, you look so stunning right now,” Wonwoo spoke, his voice slightly breathy at the sight of you. Your eyes settled on him almost immediately at the sound of his smooth but deep voice.
“W-Wonwoo?” you stuttered, eyes slightly widening at the sight that greeted you. The CEO who hated dressing up, had forced himself into a dark gray suit that looked so good on him that it made your heart skip a beat as you took it all in. “What’s all this? Why are you dressed in a suit?”
The man simply chuckled and reached out to grab your hands, pulling you closer to him in the process. “I thought I’d surprise you for once. What do you think?”
“You look handsome, but you always do,” you grinned. “Weren’t you the one who said you hated suits though?”
“Like I said, I can be persuaded for a special occasion or in this case, a special someone,” he mumbled, letting go of one of your hands to cup your cheek, the warmth of his palm causing your entire body to warm up.
“I see,” you hummed, moving your free hand to the black tie that had been neatly tied. “Can’t say that I’m not excited to see you in a suit.”
Wonwoo smirked, inching his face slightly closer so that his lips were nearly touching yours. “Don’t get used to it,” he whispered before stealing a kiss from you.
“A woman can dream,” you pouted, but let him pull you towards the table that had been set up for you anyway. Like the gentleman he was, he pulled out your chair and helped you sit down before taking his own seat. This was immediately followed by a waiter appearing at the table to offer the both of you some refreshments, followed by a short explanation of the menu, after which he left the two of you alone.
“So, how much convincing did it take you to let Mingyu close down his restaurant just for the two of us?”
Wonwoo smiled and shook his head as he reached across the table to grasp your hand gently. “None. It was actually his idea to host us here. He would have thrown a fit if I’d booked any other place.”
“Right, I forgot how much he supports all of this,” you giggled, remembering how the other CEO had once told you that he was you and Wonwoo’s number one fan. At this point, he was literally the only fan since no one else was supposed to know about it. Either way, you were happy that he was so supportive and willing to keep this whole thing a secret from everyone else. “I’m glad he suggested it though. The food is always amazing here.”
Wonwoo nodded in agreement. “And a plus is that his staff are discreet, so we don’t have to worry about toning it down for the sake of the public,” he added.
And that was true. You were able to enjoy the evening without having to think about your image. As the hours passed, the restaurant staff kept bringing delicious foods, up to the point where you'd lost count of how many different courses you'd already eaten. You felt bad for thinking it, but you were glad when they finally brought out the last dish, the dessert. If you continued eating more, you were pretty sure that your stomach would burst with the way your dress was already getting tighter and more uncomfortable against your body.
That said, you made sure to remember to thank Mingyu for putting all of this together at a later time.
“That was so delicious! But if I eat anything more, you're going to have to pick me up from the floor,” you laughed, using your napkin to wipe your mouth.
The man in front of you grinned boldly. “I'd gladly pick you up though.”
“Such a gentleman you are,” you responded, your lips forming into a smile.
“I’d like to think I am,” Wonwoo smirked and took that moment to get up from his seat, holding his hand out for you to take. Wondering what could be next, you accepted his hand and shuffled out of your seat to join him.
The nice thing about the restaurant was that there was a section that had been transformed into a little garden with lots of greenery, flowers and a small pond that housed several species of fish – perfect for a stroll after the dinner you’d just had.
“There is one more thing,” Wonwoo started when you’d stopped in front of the pond. You lifted your head in surprise, wondering what else he could have planned after the amazing night you had.
“What's that?”
“Well…” Wonwoo grabbed your other hand and pulled you closer to him. “I wanted to make tonight special for a reason. We’ve been dating for a while now, and I know that I’m not the best at expressing my feelings in words, but I want you to know that I’m so in love with you. Fuck, you have no idea what you do to me. I can’t stop thinking about you and I can’t wait to see you every time we’re apart.” He then chuckled while shaking his head. “ Hell, I lie to my friends about this whole thing and I don’t even feel bad about it if it means I get to have you just a little longer.”
“Wonwoo,” you whispered, your stomach filling with butterflies at his revelation. How lucky you felt to have this man all for yourself. And to hear him tell you that he felt the same way only amplified the love you felt for him.
“Be mine, please?” He was looking at you expectantly, almost as if he was afraid that you’d say no. Your lips slowly morphed into a big smile.
“I’d love that,” you nodded happily, moving your arms to wrap around his neck instead. Not giving him any time to respond, you pressed yourself flush against him and captured his lips into a kiss. He was more than happy to oblige, his own arms wrapping around your waist to keep you close in his own way – not like you would want to move away from any of this.
You were vaguely aware that you were having a makeout session in the middle of the restaurant, Mingyu’s staff in the front row seat, but you honestly couldn’t care less. It felt so good to know that Wonwoo had done all of this just to ask you to be his girlfriend. That on top of the fact that he’d put on a whole damn suit for you was already enough to score a bunch of brownie points with you.
“You ready to get out of here?” Wonwoo asked when you’d pulled away, his breathing slightly unstable as he tried to recover from the intense kiss you’d shared. Though the way he’d phrased the question was quite harmless, the way his eyes darkened and his hand had lowered to your ass just seconds ago informed you that he had some intentions that were far from innocent.
“Mine or yours?” you responded as your fingers played with the hairs on the back of his neck. That got Wonwoo into gear, one of his hands quickly reaching for yours before you’d even realized that he was no longer hugging your form.
“Whatever is closer,” he answered, already in the process of tugging you back to your table, where you’d left your clutch. A string of giggles escaped from your lips at the way he was rushing, your heel-covered feet trying to catch up with his speed.
The sound of a door slamming open startled the both of you and you turned your head slightly to identify the source of the commotion. What you found instantly sucked all the joy right out of your body. There, in the flesh, was no one other than your brother.
All three of you were frozen in shock, Wonwoo and yourself obviously for different reasons than your brother. The latter seemed to be in pure shock, his eyes scanning over the two of you for a few seconds before his expression morphed into one that could only be described as pure anger.
“What. The. Fuck. is going on here?” Seungcheol seethed, his eyes darting back and forth between you and Wonwoo.
“Hyung.”
“Cheol,” you spoke at the same time, quickly pulling your hand from Wonwoo’s grasp when you realized that you hadn’t let go of each other yet. Your head was spinning and you felt like you wanted to be sick, your stomach twisting uncomfortably at the situation you were currently in. This wasn’t how your brother was supposed to find out. How did he even know to come here?
“I asked. What the fuck is going on here?!”
“Cheol, please calm down. It’s not-”
“Don’t fucking tell me to calm down, Y/N.” He then turned his attention to Wonwoo, his eyes shooting daggers at the man beside you. “You got some nerve,” he snorted, taking a few steps closer to the two of you. “You lied to my face about that bracelet, Wonwoo. I trusted you. I fucking trusted you and you go behind my back to mess with my sister? I can’t believe this.”
“Hyung…Shit, I’m sorry. I never meant for it to be like this,” Wonwoo responded, clenching his fists in frustration.
“Were you ever going to tell me, hmm?”
“Cheol,” you spoke carefully in the hope that he wouldn’t get even more angry. “It just happened okay? And we’re sorry for not telling you. But please, can’t you just let it go?”
“Let it go? My best friend and my own sister betrayed me and you want me to fucking let it go? No. Tell me, how long?”
“It’s not like that, Hyung. I swear. Can’t we just talk it out like adults?“ Wonwoo pleaded, but the older man was not having it.
“How. Long?” Seungcheol was now right in Wonwoo’s face and grabbing onto the blazer that he was wearing. Your brother was pissed and you seriously feared the worst for your boyfriend. The man beside you sighed in defeat, knowing that his friend wasn’t going to drop it before he got an answer.
“Two months,” Wonwoo mumbled softly, but it was loud enough for Seungcheol to hear. Your brother could only scoff, his jaw clenching while you held your breath.
“Cheol, please let go of him,” you finally begged, wanting Seungcheol as far away as possible from Wonwoo before he did something he would regret.
“Still defending him, huh?” Seungcheol laughed, but his laugh was void of joy. Still, he released Wonwoo’s blazer and patted him on the chest before turning his back to his friend. “You know, I think it’s funny because that was right around the time that you were supposed to take over that meeting for me.”
The next thing you know, Seuncheol turned around and delivered a blow straight to Wonwoo’s cheek, his glasses knocked off his face in the process. Your brother had moved so fast that it was already over before you realized what had happened.
“Cheol!” you shrieked, grabbing onto your boyfriend, who staggered a little bit due to the impact of the hit. “What the hell is wrong with you?!” You glared at your brother, who was just standing there with a frown on his face.
“I guess I deserved that,” the younger CEO gasped, holding onto the cheek that had taken the blow.
“No you didn’t. That was so uncalled for,” you grumbled, bending down to retrieve his poor glasses from the floor. “Are you okay?” you asked softly when you carefully placed them back onto his nose, momentarily forgetting about Seungcheol as you examined his cheek.
“I’m fine, don’t worry.” Another door slam is what pulled your attention away from the man in front of you, only to notice that your brother had left the room. Although things between you were bad, you were glad that he’d decided to leave before it could escalate even more. You would deal with him later and just focus on taking care of Wonwoo for now.
“It doesn’t look fine. It’s already bruising. We need to get ice on this.” You quickly called out for one of the staff members, who’d no doubt witnessed the whole thing. How embarrassing.
“I’m sorry. This is not how I wanted this night to end. He’s never going to forgive me for this. I’m fucked.” A desperate sigh left his lips after that, his eyes shifting to the floor in front of him.
You quickly shook your head as you accepted an ice pack from the woman who had escorted you to your table. “Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault, Wonwoo. I don’t know how the hell he knew we were here, but he should have minded his business. Hold this.”
Wonwoo did exactly that and watched as you hurried over to your purse, digging into it until you’d found what you were looking for.
“I’m going to call Mingyu. He should know about this too,” you announced while scrolling through your contacts to look for his phone number. Wonwoo didn’t protest, and even if he would have, you probably would have called Mingyu anyway. The two of you needed all the support you could get right now, and it just so happened that Mingyu was the only one that you could fall back on.
Fortunately, it only took about fifteen minutes before Mingyu burst through the doors. From the looks of it, he’d quickly rushed from home to check on the both of you.
Upon seeing Wonwoo with an ice pack pressed against his cheek, the chef rushed over and demanded an in-detail report of what had gone down.
“Dude, you’re fucked,” was the first thing that came out of the CEOs mouth when you’d finished telling him the full story.
“Yah Mingyu! Not helping?” you scolded the big giant, which earned you a goofy grin in return.
“But it’s true. I ruined it for everyone just because I was being selfish,” Wonwoo agreed.
“Okay, it probably won’t be that bad. Hyung will come around eventually.”
“Did you miss the part where he punched me in the fucking face?”
“No, but you’re still alive! That’s something, right?” You just rolled your eyes, not understanding how he could still joke around at a time like this. Wonwoo, however, seemed to think that it was somewhat funny judging from the laughter that erupted from the man. After that came immediate regret in the form of a groan that got you out of your seat.
“Stop playing around before you hurt yourself even more,” you grimaced, forcing Wonwoo’s ice pack hand back against his cheek. When you were satisfied, you collected your purse and grabbed your phone once again to arrange a ride for yourself.
Wonwoo, who noticed that you’d opened the taxi app, was quick to latch his free hand onto your wrist to prevent you from leaving. “Wait, where are you going?”
“I need to deal with Seungcheol.”
“Just be careful, yeah?”
“Don’t worry. I can handle myself,” you smiled, gently squeezing his hand before turning your attention to the other man. “Mingyu, please m-”
“I’ll take good care of him, don’t worry!” he assured you, that goofy smile adorning his face once again.
After making sure that Wonwoo would be fine in Mingyu’s care, you collected all your things and made your way out of the restaurant and towards the car that had just arrived for you.
Although you wanted to stay with Wonwoo, you felt like you had no choice but to deal with this, because there was no way you were going to let your brother get away with the shit he pulled tonight.
The drive to Seungcheol’s place was way too short for your liking, mainly because you were dreading the whole thing. Every fight the two of you had ever had always ended in the two of you screaming at each other – because you were both stubborn and reactive, so why would it be any different tonight? If anything, you just wanted to make it clear to him that he needed to mind his own damn business and focus on that instead of trying to control your life.
After thanking the driver for his service, you slowly made your way to the main door of the apartment complex.
Going over the list of names, you finally pressed the one that had your brother’s name on it. The sound of the doorbell pierced the silence while you anxiously waited for any sign of your brother.
“Cheol, I know you’re there. Open the door, ” you spoke into the intercom, knowing that your brother would be able to hear you. He had to be there, you were sure of it. When Seungcheol was angry, he usually liked to blow off steam in the comfort of his own home without a bunch of eyes on him. That's how you knew to come here. But it seemed like your brother was being stubborn – so were you though.
You pressed the bell once again, and again and again, until the familiar buzzing sound echoed through the air, which was followed by the door finally opening after a few minutes of trying.
With annoyance running through your system, you made your way up to the top floor, eager to give your brother a piece of your mind.
The front door was slightly open when you arrived, so you took the liberty to let yourself inside the apartment and took off your heels. Your attention was drawn to some commotion coming from the left, so you sensed that your brother was in his home office doing god knows what.
Your thoughts were confirmed when you opened the door just in time to see Seungcheol slam his hands down onto his desk before snatching a glass filled with what you assumed was whiskey off it.
“Yah, Choi Seungcheol! What the hell is wrong with you?” He looked up at the sound of your voice, his frown deepening even more at the sight of you.
After taking a big gulp of his whiskey, he said, “Really? That’s the first thing you say after lying to me?”
“You need to apologize to Wonwoo! I can't believe you actually had the audacity to punch him. And for what?!” you exclaimed, crossing your arms over your chest.
Your brother only shrugged and leaned back against the table as he faced you. “He got what he deserved.” You were in shock at the way he went about this so nonchalantly, as if he hadn't just almost knocked down one of his closest friends.
“He’s your friend! Instead of being immature and resorting to violence, we could have talked it out like adults,” you snapped.
“Then explain to me why I had to find out through a fucking private investigator that the two of you were sneaking around behind my back,” Seungcheol spat, his eyes blazing with fire. You, on the other hand, were in complete disbelief at what you'd just heard. He did what now?
“You hired a private investigator to spy on us?! Are you serious?” You actually hoped that you'd simply misheard, because if what you'd heard was true, you feared that you didn't really know your brother as well as you thought you did.
“You think I wanted to do it like this? Would you have told me if I’d straight up asked you? Hmm?” Your brother looked at you expectantly, but you were completely speechless, your mouth opening and closing, but no words came out.
“That’s what I thought,” he huffed and turned back around to grab the whiskey glass.
“You’re out of your mind if you think that’s an okay thing to do. You went too far this time, Cheol.” You shook your head as you continued. “I have tolerated a lot of your shit over the years, but this…I'm done with you trying to control me.”
“Maybe if you'd told me the truth from the start, it wouldn't have ended like this,” Seungcheol retorted. You could only scoff, refraining yourself from rolling your eyes at his words. He knew god damn well that he would have tried anything in his power to stop you from seeing Wonwoo had he known from the start.
“Oh, please cut the crap. What's so wrong with me and Wonwoo being together? He treats me well and actually cares about me, probably more than anyone I've ever dated. Why can't you accept that?”
“It's not even about that! You two went behind my back and lied to my face for weeks…weeks, Y/N!”
“So what? We only did that because you're a fucking control freak! It doesn't give you the right to violate our privacy. If you can't even acknowledge that what you did was wrong, then how do you expect me to ever forgive you?” Your brother slammed his glass down at the words that left your mouth, the sound of the glass hitting the desk slightly startling you.
“Y/N,” he chuckled bitterly. “You forgiving me? How about you apologize to me first for the shit you pulled?”
“Hell no. I don’t regret anything.” Part of you probably felt a little bit guilty, but with how angry you were at that moment, there was no way you were going to apologize to Seungcheol…not when he was acting like an entitled bastard.
“Fine, whatever. As long as you understand that you and Wonwoo are over.” Your arms dropped to your sides in response, your fists clenching in frustration at your brother’s absurd demand. The fact that he had the guts to say that to you made you want to cry and laugh at the same time, because just who did he think he was to make that decision for you?
“You can't be for real, right? After all this you're still trying to tell me what to do? Get it through your thick skull that I'm not your damn puppet. I'm a grown ass woman and I can manage my own relationships just fine without your controlling ass.”
“Watch it, Y/N. I’m still your brother,” he sneered, obviously not liking the way you were speaking to him. No matter how bad your fights got, there had always been some type of mutual respect between the two of you – not this time though. No, this time, you wanted him to know that he was dead wrong and foul for violating your and Wonwoo’s privacy.
Whatever respect you had for him had vanished the moment he revealed the involvement of that private investigator. It also made you wonder what details of your personal life had been shared with your brother? Just the thought already made you feel sick and uncomfortable.
“Or what, Cheol? You're gonna hit me too? Seriously, go fuck yourself!” You were about ready to leave, knowing that there was no reasoning with him in this state and at this point, you didn’t even want to.
In an attempt to stop you from leaving, Seungcheol reached forward to grab onto your wrist, but you just ripped it away. “Don’t! And don’t contact me either. I can’t fucking stand you right now.”
You were on the verge of a breakdown, but you managed to compose yourself just long enough to give your brother a final glare before storming out of his home office, ignoring the way he was calling after you.
All you wanted after that nightmare was Wonwoo. You needed him, because he was the only person who could truly understand what you were going through right now – you were in this together after all. Mingyu had let you know through a text that he’d dropped his friend off at home, so that’s how you ended up in another taxi, this time on your way to Wonwoo’s place to tell him all about what had gone down with your brother.
“I’m not going tonight.”
“Hyung, come on! Everyone is looking forward to seeing you,” Mingyu pleaded as he stepped inside his best friend’s home.
“I know one person who isn’t,” Wonwoo retorted, not even waiting for the chef to take off his shoes before he started making his way towards the living room.
Mingyu, however, was quick to follow behind him. “So what? Does that mean you have to skip everyone else too?”
“It’s too soon, Mingyu.” He remembered the night that you got back from your conversation with Seungcheol all too well. The moment he’d let you inside his house, you broke down crying in his arms. This was followed by you telling him everything that had been said between the two of you. To say that Wonwoo was shocked would have been an understatement. Never did he think that his best friend would go so far as to hire a PI to find out the truth. He had expected the screaming, the cussing and even the blow to his face, but this is the thing that had caught him off guard. Wonwoo didn’t know how to feel about it, because he understood where Seungcheol was coming from, but then again, the whole revelation made him want to avoid the managing CEO even more.
On top of that, Wonwoo had also been distancing himself from you ever since you left his place that day, mainly because he felt terrible. He couldn’t help but blame himself for the whole argument between you and your brother, and he felt like being in your presence would only make everything worse for everyone.
Of course he hadn’t told you how he felt, because you would definitely reassure him that he shouldn’t feel responsible for anything, which is why Wonwoo did what he thought was best: keep his feelings to himself and distance himself – at least until he figured out what to do.
“You can’t avoid each other forever. We all work together, so you’ll have to face him eventually. Better to just rip that bandaid off.”
Wonwoo sighed at that statement. “I know that, but how the hell am I going to hide this?” He turned around and pointed at his cheek, which was now a blue-greenish color after a week had passed. “And I’m not really looking forward to adding another bruise to the collection.”
“Just wear a mask and play it off as a cold. Or…how about you tell everyone what’s going on?” Mingyu suggested, but Wonwoo was quick to shake his head.
“No way. I’m not involving anyone in this drama when I don’t even know how to deal with it myself.”
“If you don’t show up, the others are definitely going to start asking questions. Do you want that instead?”
A frustrated groan left Wonwoo’s lips at that, the truth of Mingyu’s words sinking in. He had a point. Seungcheol wasn’t the only nosy one out of their group – mainly Seungkwan and Jeonghan, who had a tendency to snoop around for juicy stories. It wasn’t in the way that Seungcheol was in everyone’s business, but it was bad enough for Wonwoo to admit his defeat. Besides, it wasn’t like not showing up was going to make the whole thing go away.
“Fine, I’ll go. Happy?”
“Very,” the other CEO grinned. “ Now go get ready. We leave in ten,” he announced before plopping himself down onto the couch.
“I’m gonna regret this,” Wonwoo mumbled to himself as he made his way towards the stairs.
Forty-five minutes later, the CEO pair found themselves seated around Seungkwan’s large dining table with the rest of their friends, minus the managing CEO. Wonwoo hated to admit it, but he was relieved that Seungcheol was slightly delayed, because it gave him time to mentally prepare himself. The goal was to not create a scene with the other CEOs present, so he counted on Mingyu to help with that. As long as Wonwoo didn’t have to sit next to Seungcheol, there was a chance that he’d make it through this get-together without another fist in his face.
Unfortunately, that worry-free moment was short-lived when he showed up ten minutes later. Wonwoo, who had been joking around with Mingyu, Chan and Jeonghan, felt himself tense up at his sudden presence. It was weird…seeing him in this type of setting when it was only a week ago that Seungcheol had caught him with you. It made Wonwoo wonder if he even wanted to be here, because he sure as hell didn’t.
Without intending to, Wonwoo’s eyes met Seungcheol’s eyes for just a brief moment, but it was long enough for Wonwoo to feel the anger radiating through the CEO’s eyes. The smile that had adorned Seungcheol’s face only seconds ago vanished almost immediately as he spotted the man who’d betrayed his trust.
Wonwoo felt his breath hitch in his throat in response, anxiety slowly seeping into his body as he tried to keep his composure. Mingyu, being the good friend he was, probably sensed his friend’s distress and placed a comforting hand on Wonwoo’s shoulder, as if telling him that it would all be fine.
Wonwoo was glad that dinner was pretty uneventful, apart from the occasional glances that Seungcheol kept throwing his way – which he tried to ignore as best as he could. It did help that the older man was seated far away from Wonwoo, all the way at the end of the large oval table. However, that all changed when Jun and Vernon suggested that they should play some games.
They moved to Seungkwan’s lounge room, where they opted for a game of cards with a couple of drinks. Wonwoo tried to have fun and focus on the game and his friends, but it was hard when the man sitting across from him kept staring right into his soul every few minutes or so. And sadly enough, Wonwoo wasn’t the only one who noticed the tension in the room.
“Okay, something is going on here,” Seungkwan finally stated, peaking everyone’s interest. Wonwoo, however, almost whined in frustration.
“You’re right. Something weird is going on,” Minghao agreed.
“And why does Seungcheol Hyung look like he wants to kill someone?” Chan questioned at the sight of Seungcheol’s murderous facial expression.
“Maybe because I do,” the man in question answered in a low voice, his eyes flashing to Wonwoo. There we go.
“Wow, what the hell is that? What’s going on?” Jisoo asked, no doubt referring to the look Seungcheol had directed at Wonwoo.
“Why don’t you ask the gaming pro over there,” Seungcheol spoke and motioned to Wonwoo, who cringed at all the attention he was suddenly getting. This is exactly what he had been afraid of. If only he hadn’t let Mingyu convince him to come.
“Hyung, let’s not do this here, yeah?” Mingyu interfered in an attempt to defuse the situation.
“You’re not any better, Mingyu. Trying to cover his ass and supporting the whole thing behind my back.”
“Are we being pranked? Because this is not really happening now, is it?” Jihoon asked, looking profoundly confused.
“Oh, I wish it was,” Wonwoo mumbled from behind his mask before he switched his attention to Seungcheol. “Hyung, can we please not do this right now? Let’s not involve everyone.”
The man just laughed and stood up from his seat. “Why not? Afraid that everyone is going to see you in a different light when they hear the truth?”
“Hyung, come on,” Mingyu tried to persuade his Hyung before it was too late. But, Seungcheol was not in the mood to listen to the chef, not when he was all worked up.
“No, Mingyu. Don’t even try to stop me. I think everyone deserves to know that Wonwoo over there,” he pointed at Wonwoo, “went behind my back to date my sister and he thought he could get away with it.”
“Excuse me?! Your sister Y/N?” Seokmin’s eyes were wide open in shock, his eyes shifting to Wonwoo instantly. He wasn’t alone, because very soon, the other ten CEOs were also staring at him, some with their mouths open after hearing that mind-boggling news.
“Nah, that can’t be right. Wonwoo Hyung and Y/N? Never,” Seungkwan shook his head as if he refused to believe that piece of information.
“I’m speechless,” Vernon said after a few seconds of silence. Jeonghan, who was sitting right beside Wonwoo, playfully hit the man’s shoulder and chuckled in an attempt to lighten the mood.
“Yah, Wonwoo. They’re joking, right? You didn’t actually make a move on Y/N?” Wonwoo didn’t have anything to say to that, mainly because it was obviously clear to everyone by now that it was, in fact, not a joke but very much true. He just wanted to disappear and pretend like it had all never happened.
“Wait wait wait! Don’t tell me you and his sister actually…you know…?” Seungkwan asked nervously, his eyes flicking between the two friends that were in the center of the dispute.
“He’s too chicken to open his mouth now with all of you here, but he sure was okay with sneaking around with her for two months. Oh, and mind you, he lied to you too,” Seungcheol butted in.
“Cut him some slack, Hyung. He’s already miserable enough because of the whole thing. You punching him in the face was punishment enough,” Mingyu huffed, coming to Wonwoo’s defense once again.
A gasp sounded from Chan. “What?! Is that why you’re wearing the mask? Because Hyung beat the shit out of you?” That was immediately followed by a smack on the head plus a scolding from Jihoon. “Sorry,” he mumbled.
“Shit, Cheol. You hit him? Are you out of your mind?” Jisoo frowned, obviously not amused with the man’s actions.
“Hell yes I did and he deserved it. My own sister won’t even talk to me because she’d rather defend this backstabber!” At that, Wonwoo stood up from his seat. He was not having it this time, especially because it was you he was talking about now.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Hyung. The reason she’s not talking to you is because you hired a fucking PI to dig into our lives instead of coming to us like a normal person would have! Who the hell does that?!”
Silence dominated the room after yet another revelation that left the other CEOs too stunned to speak. No one had expected their monthly night of fun to turn into a reality TV drama.
“I gave you two plenty of chances to tell me, but you left me with no other choice.”
“That’s bullshit, Hyung. There were more than enough alternatives to choose from,” Wonwoo scowled.
“Alright, I think it’s time to put a stop to this. We’re all friends, there’s no need to be getting this worked up,” Soonyoung finally stepped in between the two CEOs, but Seungcheol was quick to go around him and got in Wonwoo’s face before anyone could stop him.
“Hyung, don’t!” Mingyu called out, already making a move to pull the two of them apart.
“No! I need to make this clear first,” Seungcheol snapped, shaking off Mingyu’s hand from his shoulder. Truth was, Wonwoo had no idea what he was getting himself into. For all he knew, he’d be leaving Seungkwan’s house with another bruise.
“I’m telling you Wonwoo, if you want this to work out between us, you better break it off with Y/N. I’m serious, it’s SEVENTEEN World or Y/N, your choice. Choose wisely,” was the final thing that came out of Seungcheol’s mouth before he swiftly turned around and stormed out of the room, leaving behind a room full of CEOs with a bunch of burning questions.
After their managing CEO had left the house, Wonwoo was literally bombarded with questions, up to the point where Mingyu was forced to chair the ‘Q&A’ to prevent total chaos – because what else to expect from a room full of men?
Despite the severity of it all, Wonwoo wanted to be transparent with his friends and explain to them why he’d done what he did. Sure, some were slightly offended that he hadn’t trusted them, but most of them were just shocked that it was Wonwoo, the CEO who didn’t like to date, who had managed to capture your attention.
And of course, once all the serious questions were over and done with, the teasing comments started, initiated by no one other than Yoon Jeonghan and Hong Jisoo, SEVENTEEN World’s infamous instigators. The poor CEO endured it all, but he couldn’t deny that he enjoyed it a little bit.
Yet, all of this didn’t take away the fact that Wonwoo had to make a difficult decision – and he didn’t know if he was going to like the outcome.
Ever since you left Wonwoo’s place that day, you hadn’t heard from him again. That was now two weeks ago. At first, you guessed that he probably needed some time to think things through, which was completely understandable. That’s why you’d kept your attempts to reach him to a minimum, with the occasional call or text message.
But then a week passed, and you still hadn’t heard anything from his side. It was just like the time you’d been waiting for him to initiate a second date and it drove you insane.
In the week that followed, when you felt like you’d given him enough time to sort things out, you probably called him about a dozen times and left him numerous text messages, but all to no avail.
From an outsider’s point of view, it must have seemed excessive and perhaps slightly bordering on stalker behavior, but you were slowly growing more and more restless as the days passed.
You just couldn’t help it. Wonwoo occupied your mind 24/7 and it frustrated you that he’d removed himself from you so easily, especially when he’d made it pretty clear to you that he was in love with you – you couldn’t just forget about that little fact.
All of this had just come at such an unfortunate time. Why did your brother have to show up when he did? He just had to ruin what would have been the best day of your life, because that was what he knew to do best. Thinking about it was enough to get you fired up again.
Speaking of the devil that was your brother, you’d been vehemently ignoring him ever since you’d stormed out of his apartment. In his attempts to contact you, he’d texted and called you, but you’d simply blocked his number in response.
You should have known that he wouldn’t give up that easily, which is why it didn’t come as a surprise when he came knocking at your door one night – for obvious reasons, you refused to open the door and let him ring your doorbell for about fifteen minutes before he gave up and left.
To make sure you could avoid him completely, you’d even gone as far as to arrange a replacement for your monthly legal consultation, because you didn’t think you’d be able to keep it together if you had to face him, not even for the sake of business. Maybe that would finally make your brother realize that he really fucked up this time.
Currently, you were holding your phone to your ear, anxiously waiting for the recipient to pick up.
“Thank you for calling SEVENTEEN Gaming. This is Park Hajoon speaking, what can I do for you?” Wonwoo’s secretary spoke through the phone.
“Hajoon, hi! It’s uh, Y/N. I was wondering if Wonwoo is available.” You felt completely embarrassed that you had actually called his office in the hope of speaking to him during your lunch break, but you were desperate at this point.
“Oh, hello Ms. Choi. I-I’m sorry, but I’m afraid he’s busy right now. I can leave a message for you?” the secretary offered, but you simply sighed in defeat.
“Just let him know that I called. That’s all, thank you,” you thanked her, the disappointment already beginning to settle in.
Of course, because what were you thinking? If he was really avoiding you then he obviously would have told his secretary to tell you that he was busy if you were to call.
While trying to finish your lunch, your eyes fell on your phone once again. What if…
Before your mind could catch up and prevent you from doing anything stupid, you unlocked your phone and searched for that one person in your contact list – possibly the only person who’d know how to help you reach Wonwoo.
“Y/N? I’m kinda busy right now,” Mingyu’s surprised voice sounded, the background noise immediately giving away that he was in a packed kitchen.
You were quick to jump in, afraid that he might hang up before you got the chance to ask him. “Mingyu, please. I need to talk to him. It’s been two weeks!”
“I know, I know. But he won’t even talk to me about it though, so I don’t know if I can help you.” You almost felt like crying at this point. If he didn’t confide in his best friend, then how were you going to get through to him?
“I just need one chance to see him. Isn’t there anywhere he goes often?” It was silent for a moment, and you were afraid that Mingyu had hung up the call. But when you checked the screen, you were relieved to see that he was still there.
“Well, I guess you could try the arcade? You know, the one you went to on your first date? He usually goes there to relieve stress, but I’m not sure he’ll be there, Y/N.” The arcade! How could you have forgotten about that place?
“No, that’s perfect. Thanks, Mingyu!” you thanked the CEO and said your goodbye before ending the call. Tonight, you were going to pay a visit to the arcade and hopefully see Wonwoo there.
With your newfound determination, you made your way to the arcade when your workday had come to an end. As you entered the building for the second time, you immediately noticed the change in vibe from the last time you’d been here.
On your first date, the place had been completely deserted since Wonwoo had reserved the whole space for the two of you, but it was the complete opposite now. The whole hall was filled with people, both young and old, all having fun trying out the various games – it was Friday night, so that was to be expected.
You were starting to lose hope after spending two hours there, still no sign of the SEVENTEEN Gaming CEO. Even after making a few rounds and checking out the individuals wearing face masks and caps, you had to come to the conclusion that Wonwoo wasn’t here…and probably wouldn’t be tonight. After the third hour, you finally disposed of your empty cup and collected your things so that you could make your way home.
—
Wonwoo slammed his car door shut and locked it with the click of a button before he adjusted his disguise. For a second, he thought of going home to play some games instead, but he reminded himself that he’d just finished a tiring day full of meetings with stakeholders and needed something to relax him, something to distract him – mainly from you.
He was painfully aware that you’d been trying to get a hold of him and he felt like a complete dick for going radio silent, but Wonwoo wasn’t good with these types of situations. He had no doubt that you hated him right now. All you wanted was to talk and here he was, ignoring the woman he’d confessed his love to not too long ago.
Wonwoo wanted to work this whole thing out, but he didn’t have the slightest clue where to start. The only scenarios he could come up with ended with both of you in pain and he wasn’t ready to face any of that yet. Distracting himself with games was the only thing that gave him some sort of comfort right now. Not even Mingyu, who’d offered his help already more than once.
The CEO was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn’t notice the figure that was about to exit the building just as he wanted to enter, causing the two to bump into each other.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, not even looking at the person that had bumped into him.
“Wonwoo?” Fuck. That voice. “Is it really you?” His eyes were automatically drawn to the woman standing in front of him, which confirmed to him that it was no one other than you he’d bumped into.
“Y/N,” he breathed, his body heating up at the dread that suddenly took over his body upon seeing you so unexpectedly.
“Why have you been avoiding me?” Your tone was stern, but he inferred from your sullen eyes that you were more sad than angry.
“Come with me,” he said, reaching down to take your hand in his to tug you in the direction of his car. If you were going to do this, he didn’t want to be anywhere near the public.
“Where are we going?” you finally asked when Wonwoo motioned for you to buckle up.
“Somewhere private,” was the only thing that Wonwoo said. For the rest of the minutes that Wonwoo spent driving, no words were spoken. He didn’t really know what you were thinking, but in his case, he wasn't sure what to say to you, not after ignoring all your calls.
He finally stopped at the spot where he’d taken you to stargaze before, knowing that you could probably have a conversation there without the risk of anyone catching you.
“So, are you going to tell me what’s been happening these past two weeks?” you asked impatiently, now standing right in front of him and way too close for Wonwoo’s liking. You smelled so good, too good even. Any closer and he’d completely forget about the serious talk you were supposed to have.
“Y/N…”
“Wait! Let me at least see your face while we do this,” you pouted, your hands reaching up to unhook the mask from behind his ears. “There,” you whispered, your hands coming to a rest on his shoulders as you looked at him with expectant eyes. Shit, Wonwoo really didn’t want to do this.
“I’ve been thinking a lot about how to have this conversation with you,” he started, reaching for his shoulders to lower your hands in an attempt to minimize any sort of physical contact with you. “To be honest, I didn’t expect to see you tonight.”
Your hopeful expression dropped and was replaced by a frown at his action. “I don’t like where this is going,” you responded, your eyes narrowing.
“I’m sorry. All I’ve been doing is avoid you because I’m too scared to deal with this situation.” Wonwoo shook his head and ran one of his hands through his hair. “You deserve so much better.”
“I admit, it’s frustrating when you don’t talk to me,” you sighed. “But, I want to be with you. I’m not joking when I saw that I’ve never felt this way about anyone. I lo-”
“Don’t. Don’t say it,” Wonwoo quickly interrupted you, knowing that whatever you were going to say next would make this even harder.
“Why not? Don’t you feel the same?” you asked softly, reaching forward to grab his hand but Wonwoo was quick to prevent it.
“It doesn’t matter how we feel, because this is bigger than us. I have to choose,” he grimaced, feeling a slight tightening of his chest at the words that came out of his mouth.
“And you’re not choosing me? It’s my brother who’s making you choose, right?” you chuckled bitterly, your fists clenched into fists.
“I don’t want this either, but I have to think of my company, my employees and the whole of SEVENTEEN World. If I can’t fix this with your brother, we’re putting other people at risk.”
“I know…I’m just being selfish. It shouldn’t have to be a choice though. Seungcheol is being an ass and he knows it. He’s still trying to control my life even when we’re not on speaking terms.”
You were trying to be strong, but you couldn’t stop the few tears that fell from your eyes, staining your cheeks with the salty liquid. This was followed by the sound of your sniffing and some more tears, until you were full-on sobbing.
Wonwoo absolutely hated being the reason that you were crying. He didn’t mean to upset you, but he had to rip the bandaid off before he chickened out.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry” he mumbled over and over again, not being able to refrain himself from wrapping you in his embrace at the sight of your crying form.
“It’s n-not fair,” you gasped, burying yourself into Wonwoo’s leather jacket while you had him in a tight squeeze.
“I know,” he agreed, making the mistake of looking down at the exact moment you lifted your head to look at him. Even with your eyes all red and your cheeks wet with tears, Wonwoo still thought that you were the most beautiful woman he’d ever laid eyes on. God, how much he would miss this.
“Y/N,” he warned softly when you reached up to bring your face closer to his.
“Just one more kiss,” you begged, pressing your body even further against him. How was he supposed to say no to that?
“Fuck,” he whispered right before cupping your cheek and connecting your lips before he could regret it.
Wonwoo made sure to pour everything into that kiss, wanting you to know just how much he cared about you. It was both messy and hasty, with your tongues clashing together and your hands exploring each other’s bodies as if trying to remember everything about the other within the short time that you had. Because after tonight, you would both have to go back to reality – the one where you were no longer together.
You felt heartbroken. You felt sick. You felt miserable. Following your breakup with Wonwoo, every new day felt like a punishment, with you literally having to force yourself out of bed every morning. And every time you drove to work, you had to mentally prepare yourself for the letters plastered onto the SEVENTEEN Gaming HQ building that would be staring you in the face, mocking you and reminding you that you couldn’t have the one thing you truly wanted.
Even at work, the change in you was noticeable. For the first time in your time at the Kang Group, you were slacking, missing crucial deadlines and mixing up appointments, much to the surprise of your colleagues and your boss. One of your best qualities was your ability to completely separate your personal life from your work life, and you’d thought so too, which is why it frustrated you that this whole situation affected you so much.
It eventually got so bad that your boss had you take the next few weeks off from work, because you weren’t able to focus on anything other than feeling miserable.
You weren’t sure if being away from work was the solution to your problems. It only left you with more time to think and the more you thought about everything, the more you felt yourself begin to spiral down.
Your friends had tried to drag you out of the house on more than one occasion in an effort to cheer you up. They were aware that you’d gone through a breakup – because you’d told them that much, but they didn’t know who it was. You appreciated them for organizing various activities such as a spa day, a movie night and drinks at your favorite bar, but those distractions only lasted for a short time. Each time, after coming home to an empty apartment, you went right back to wallowing in self-pity.
The situation with Seungcheol hadn’t gotten any better either. He was still blocked and knocking at your door from time to time, but you couldn’t care less. Seeing his face would only make you mad and the end result would no doubt be another screaming match. Maybe one day you could forgive him, but not when everything was still so fresh.
You opted to spend most of your time alone, either sleeping or killing time watching shows with the occasional tub of ice cream. But despite trying to remain strong as the days passed, you were constantly reminded of how you and Wonwoo used to watch these types of shows together, which then unleashed another breakdown that resulted in you crying for hours.
You just wanted to stop feeling like this, mainly because it was unfamiliar and so unlike you to have a total meltdown over a man. If this continued any longer, you’d for sure lose your mind.
—
Wonwoo wasn’t doing that much better than you. He felt just as miserable, if not worse. But instead of taking time off from work, he focused all his attention on his business. Every free moment was spent on the next game release, all to keep him distracted from what he was actually feeling.
He was like a machine in the weeks that followed, showing up to work early, working on his to-do list and leaving when everyone had already left the building hours ago. It was clear to everyone that something was going on with the CEO that was normally so passionate about his work.
The enthusiasm with which Wonwoo generally went into meetings – especially the ones revolving around the creation process of new games – had been replaced by an indifferent attitude that his team and in particular, his personal secretary, Park Hajoon, didn’t know how to deal with. They obviously didn’t want to pry, but whatever it was, they hoped that he could deal with it and go back to the old one asap.
The next get-together was also skipped by Wonwoo, simply because he was not in the mood to pretend like everything was fine when it was clearly not. Being the good friends they were, everyone except Seungcheol, made sure to check in on him at least once.
Wonwoo assumed that they knew about what had gone down, especially because he looked like the life had been sucked out of him, but also the fact that Seungcheol was no longer giving the man dirty looks and actually managed to be cordial during their quarterly business meeting.
Mingyu, who’d watched his best friend beat himself up again and again over the past few weeks, finally had enough one day. If anyone was going to get Wonwoo out of his slump, it would be him.
“Hyung, you need to get out of your house tonight,” Mingyu started as soon as Wonwoo had answered the call.
“I think I’m just gonna stay in tonight. It’s late,” Wonwoo sighed, his gaze drifting to the large clock that was hanging on the wall. Technically, 9PM wasn’t that late, but the man couldn’t be bothered.
“You say that literally every time. You haven’t left the house for anything other than work for the past few weeks!”
“Exactly, because there’s no other reason to leave the house.”
“You can’t be this pessimistic for the rest of your life, Hyung. Come to my restaurant and I’ll cook for you. We can have some food and drinks,” the chef suggested.
Wonwoo, who’d only eaten two packs of ramen today, was tempted by the offer. But then again, it also meant that he had to leave the house and deal with Mingyu’s nagging. “I think I’ll pa-”
“No you’re not. I swear to god, Hyung. I know for a fact that you haven’t had a proper meal in days and I’m not having it. Go put on something decent and be here in 30.” This was not how he’d planned to spend the rest of the night.
“Mingyu, what about ‘I think I’m just going to stay in tonight’ don’t you understand?”
“I understood every word, but I just don’t give a shit and I’m not joking this time, Hyung. Get changed, get into your car and be here. If you’re not here in 30 minutes, I’m going to ask Minghao to lend me his bodyguards. I bet they’ll have no issue dragging you out of that house,” Mingyu threatened.
Upon hearing his best friend’s words, Wonwoo decided that it was in his best interest to take his words seriously, because Minghao would for sure have no problem with Mingyu using his bodyguards if it meant getting Wonwoo out the house. On top of that, he’d seen and met Minghao’s intimidating bodyguards – these guys were trained professionals, so he wasn’t about to risk them paying him a visit at home.
“I’ll be there, so you can stop with those threats,” Wonwoo spoke and released a deep sigh. He better not regret this like that one time he had a confrontation with Seungcheol in front of all their other friends.
“Wise choice, Hyung. Just look for Aecha when you get here. She’ll wait for you in the entrance hall and take you to me,” Mingyu explained, referring to the waitress that had also served you and him on your final date. “And don’t even think about ditching! Remember, the bo-”
“Yeah yeah, the bodyguards. Got it, Mingyu. I’m hanging up now,” Wonwoo announced and ended the call, not even bothering to wait for his friend’s response.
Wonwoo felt conflicted as he parked his car in front of Flavor Factory SEVENTEEN – the place wasn’t exactly triggering happy memories for him. The last time he was here, it had ended in a complete disaster. The date that was supposed to have ended with him taking you home and showing you how much he loved you, only left him with a bruised cheek and a broken heart instead.
But despite Wonwoo really not wanting to be here right now, he would try to push his feelings aside for tonight and enjoy spending some quality time with Mingyu. Ever since he’d broken things off with you, he’d been distancing himself from everyone, including Mingyu, the one person that had supported him through it all.
Whereas Wonwoo usually shared all his problems with the chef, he had refrained himself from doing so this time. The man had already been dragged into this whole mess because of Wonwoo’s selfishness, so he wasn’t about to bother Mingyu with his relationship issues, especially not when he was in the middle of preparing the launch of a new food item.
But he also realized that pushing his best friend away wasn’t going to solve anything. That’s why Wonwoo fought the urge to turn around and return home as he made his way inside – and again, the thought of being ambushed by three bodyguards really didn’t sound all that great.
Just as Mingyu had told him over the phone, Aecha was waiting for Wonwoo in the entrance hall.
“Aecha?” Wonwoo approached the waitress, who kindly greeted him and motioned for him to follow her. Instead of going through the restaurant, which was no doubt packed with all the cars outside, she took him through a hallway that was accessible to staff only.
“Make yourself comfortable, Sir. Mr. Kim will be with you shortly,” the woman spoke as she guided him into one of the restaurant’s private dining rooms. It was a little on the smaller side, so Wonwoo guessed that it was normally used for couples or groups up to four people.
“Thank you,” Wonwoo said to the waitress and watched her close the door behind herself. While waiting for the other CEO to show up, he admired some of the art that had been displayed in the room – some paintings and sculptures that probably cost a fortune.
The sound of the door opening just a few minutes later is what pulled Wonwoo’s attention away from the piece of Korean art that he’d been inspecting. And what awaited him was definitely not what he’d been expecting.
“Wonwoo? What are you doing here? I’m supposed to meet Mingyu here,” Seungcheol’s confused voice echoed through the small room after Aecha had closed the door once again, this time leaving him with an unexpected guest.
“Aish, god damn Mingyu,” Wonwoo mumbled, realizing that the two of them had been set up by the younger CEO. “I guess we fell for one of his tricks.”
Seungcheol scoffed at that, seemingly thinking it over before shaking his head and taking a seat at the dining table.
Wonwoo didn’t know how to feel about this situation. Both of them hadn’t had a one-on-one in a long time and they weren’t exactly on the best of terms, so why the hell did Mingyu think that it would be a good idea to put the two of them together…in a small room?
“You look like shit,” Seungcheol stated after observing Wonwoo for a few seconds.
I wonder why. “Thanks, I’m aware,” the man responded as he took a seat on the opposite side of the table.
The silence that followed was deadly, with both of the men not quite knowing what to say. None of them had prepared for this, so it felt awkward to be in such an intimate space together.
Were they going to just stare at each other this whole time? Or were they going to talk? And even if they did, were they going to fight again?
Also, where the hell was Mingyu? Had his plan really been to just drop them in a room and leave them to figure it out themselves?
Wonwoo's thoughts were interrupted by the door opening once again, this time revealing no one other than the culprit himself, Kim Mingyu.
“Hyungs! Glad you could make it. How do you like the surprise?” A smirk was plastered onto his face as he rolled in a cart full of delicious-looking foods.
“Really funny, Mingyu. I don't recall you telling me there would be another person joining us. I thought you wanted to discuss some important business,” Seungcheol responded, already looking quite annoyed.
Mingyu only shrugged as he began to move the food from the cart onto the table. “Sorry, Hyung. I know you wouldn't have shown up otherwise, so I had to think of something.”
“So much for quality time,” Wonwoo mumbled quietly, mentally cursing at himself for having left the house tonight.
“Stop being such a grump.” Mingyu nudged Wonwoo, who could only glare at the man that was now towering over him. That earned him an eye roll from the chef. “The two of you need to stop this act and make up already. It's driving everyone nuts! We don't want to see you fight or be miserable. What happened happened, and there's no turning back, only moving forward from here. That's why I tricked you into coming here tonight. And no, you're not leaving this room before you've eaten some food and made some progress.”
“Do we really not have a say in this?” Wonwoo asked, shifting his gaze from the food to Mingyu, who gave him a pointed look.
“No, you don’t. And this better not end in another fight either. Minghao’s bodyguards are on speed dial,” the chef warned. “Now, enjoy the food and fix this shit.” That was the last they heard from him before he left the room, leaving the two CEOs to deal with their problems.
“Well…” Seungcheol cleared his throat when it was just the two of them again. “I guess we better dig in, huh?”
Wonwoo nodded slowly as it started to sink in that he wouldn't be able to get out of this anytime soon. “I guess so,” he replied, his eyes scanning the various food items on the table.
Mingyu really had gone all out for the two of them – the man never came to play when it came to food. Among the variety of dishes was a rose spaghetti with shrimp, a big bowl of Jajangmyeon, a plate full of beef bulgogi, a bunch of freshly made banchan and many more things that honestly made Wonwoo’s mouth water.
His stomach growled involuntarily, as if his body was indicating that those two packs of ramen had certainly not been enough. He should have eaten more, yes, but in his state, it had been the last thing on his mind.
“Aren’t you going to take it?” Seungcheol asked, his voice cutting through the silence. Only then, Wonwoo noticed that he was holding out a plate with an assortment of the food that was on the table.
“Oh, yeah. Thanks, Hyung.” He was quick to take the plate, feeling a little surprised at the CEO’s gesture.
The two ate in silence for the next few minutes, the sound of chopsticks and spoons hitting the plates and bowls echoing through the room. But different from the uncomfortable silence that had dominated the room before, it was now a pleasant silence. In Wonwoo’s opinion, the arrival of the food was the main reason for that change.
“I’m sorry I punched you.” Seungcheol was the first to speak again, causing Wonwoo to freeze in his spot. Was he actually apologizing? He couldn’t believe that he was actually taking the first step, and he truly sounded like he was sorry.
“It’s…whatever. I would have punched me too,” Wonwoo finally said when he’d gotten over the initial shock.
“I admit, you were wrong for going behind my back, but still, it wasn’t okay of me to do that. I should have gone about it a different way and I guess I let my irrational side take over,” Seungcheol explained.
Wonwoo understood why Seungcheol had punched him when he did, because he couldn’t classify himself as innocent in all of this. He did break his trust and date you while knowing fully well that there would be consequences. So, despite the shit that his friend had pulled, Wonwoo felt like he needed to own up to his mistakes too.
“The same goes for the PI that I hired to spy on you and my sister,” Seungcheol continued. “I never meant to invade your privacy like that, but when I saw that bracelet…I was just so angry at the thought of you two together that I wasn’t thinking clearly and didn’t care what it took to confirm what I’d seen. But after seeing the effect it had on you and Y/N, I now realize that I went a little too far. So, I guess what I’m trying to say is I’m sorry,” the CEO sighed.
“I appreciate that, Hyung. I really do, thank you. And I guess I should also apologize to you for going behind your back. That was…really wrong of me. And I don’t have any good excuse for it either. We just clicked so well during that meeting that I threw all my morals aside at that moment. And then it only escalated from there with no way of going back. I never meant for anyone to get hurt,” Wonwoo shook his head. Just thinking back to the night you’d been crying your eyes out in his arms caused his chest to clench again.
“Oh you were dead wrong. I w-”
“Wait, Hyung. I’m not finished yet. I should have told you the truth from the start…”
“You shouldn’t have asked her out to begin with,” Seungcheol interrupted, a frown making its way onto his face.
Wonwoo slapped a hand against his forehead at that statement. Fair enough. “Right, I shouldn’t have, but I did. And then we got to know each other better and we developed feelings. I can’t lie and say that I’m fine, even after almost a month has passed. Hell, I’m sure neither of us are fine because we were both a mess the night we broke it off. But I just want you to know that I respect you and value you as a business partner, and of course as my friend.”
Seungcheol slowly nodded, taking in everything that Wonwoo had just told him. “So do I, and I never wanted for us to fight. I’m willing to put it behind us if you are too, not only for the sake of the company, but for both of our sakes too.” This was followed by Seungcheol extending his arm across the table.
Wonwoo let out a small laugh before shaking the hand in front of him. “Hell yes. All this awkwardness was killing me.”
“Same here. Man, guess we need to thank Mingyu after all,” the other man grinned before taking another bite from the food on his plate.
“I guess we do,” Wonwoo smiled, feeling somewhat happy that they’d been able to squash their beef.
It was slowly starting to feel like old times again, and although Wonwoo knew that it was going to take some time to move past the whole fiasco, he was glad that the tension between the two of them had settled after that long overdue talk.
Mingyu even came to check in on the two men after an hour or so, and upon discovering that they’d made up, he brought them his number one dessert on the house, just because he couldn’t believe that his plan had actually worked out. The man was so delighted that he even joined them for a couple of drinks before he had to run back to the kitchen to deal with his staff and guests.
When it was about time for the CEOs to start heading home, Wonwoo felt like there was something that he hadn’t yet been able to say, something that had been weighing him down ever since they had their talk. And if he didn’t say it now, he was afraid that he’d never get the chance to do so.
“Wait, before we leave I just want to say one last thing and I hope you’re not going to change your mind about tonight,” Wonwoo said when the two of them had gotten up from the table.
“This doesn’t sound like a good start,” Seungcheol chuckled as he adjusted his blue tie.
“I know, but I need to say this. Look, I know we’re trying to move past this, but I want to say again that I never meant to hurt anyone, especially Y/N.” At the mention of you, Seungcheol was suddenly on high alert, his lips pressing together into a thin line. “Even if we can’t be together, I want you to know that I’ll always have a special place in my heart for her. I never got to tell her because of everything that went down but I love her, Hyung. I love her in a way that I’ve never loved anyone else and I only want the best for her, even if that means it’ll eventually be with someone else.”
Wonwoo wasn’t sure if he’d made the right choice by telling his Hyung, but he did feel a huge sense of relief at getting that off his chest.
“I see,” Seungcheol nodded slowly, his gaze moving to the ground.
“I just needed you to know, that’s all, Hyung. Are we still good?” Wonwoo asked carefully, not knowing what was going on in his friend’s head right now.
“We are. I just need some time, that’s all,” he responded, meeting Wonwoo’s eyes once again. “I’ll see you later, yeah?” The younger man nodded and watched as Seungcheol made his exit.
Some time…Wonwoo could live with that, especially if it meant that he could have his friend back.
You don’t exactly remember how you’d ended up in this situation, but you were currently on your way to meet Mingyu at a cafe for what he called an ‘intervention’. The other night, he’d practically forced himself into your place with a bunch of delicious foods that you couldn’t say no to. And of course, he used your weakness against you and miraculously managed to convince you to join him for coffee at a low-key place to get you out of the house.
Another torturous week had passed without seeing Wonwoo and without talking to your brother – not that you minded the latter. This time, you’d even tried to pull yourself out of your slump on multiple occasions, but you somehow always ended up back on the couch with your tub of ice cream.
It did feel kind of weird to still be in contact with your ex-boyfriend's best friend. You were sure that if your brother knew about it, he’d flip a table – did you actually care about that? Not really. But despite the weirdness of the entire situation, you were truly glad that you had a friend like Mingyu. Aside from Wonwoo, he was the only one who understood what you were going through, so you appreciated his efforts to cheer you up.
Mingyu was waiting for you in front of the cafe, with his hood and mask up as expected. Fortunately, the place was practically empty when you two entered, which you guessed was a good thing since Mingyu was here with you. The last thing you needed was to be harassed by a bunch of paparazzi.
“Where should we sit?” you asked, scanning the cafe for a good spot that wouldn’t be too out in the open.
“How about in the back?” Mingyu suggested, quickly moving past you to lead the way. You were fine with anything, so you nodded, following him after greeting the staff members behind the counter.
“What the hell is he doing here?” you asked, your eyes widening at the figure that came into view when you neared the table in the back.
“Y/N, I know what this looks like, but trust me, there’s a reason for all of this,” Mingyu responded quickly. You should have known that he was up to no good.
“You better have a damn good reason, because I don’t remember this being part of the deal,” you grumbled, a frown making its way onto your face at the sight of your brother sitting at the small round table.
Seungcheol turned his attention to the chef, who was now looking more than a little nervous at the little scene that was unfolding in front of his eyes. “Mingyu! You didn’t tell her I was going to be here?”
Holding up his hands in defense, he said, “Don’t blame me! Do you really think she would have showed up if she knew you’d be there?”
“Yah! I’m right here!” you exclaimed, the frown on your face never faltering as you observed your brother. It had been a little over a month now since you’d last been in the same room with him. Being here confirmed that you had still not forgiven him for what he did. “I’m not talking to him.”
“Y/N, come on. Please, just sit down and listen. You don’t even have to talk if you don’t feel like it. I just need you to hear me first, and if that’s still not enough, you can leave. How does that sound?” Seungcheol pleaded, the desperation showing on his face. You were angry with him – very – but you guessed that it wouldn’t hurt to at least hear him out.
“Fine, I’ll listen. But at least let me get a coffee before we do this,” you sighed, your hands already reaching for the menu that was on the table.
“Already did. I ordered your favorite,” your brother said, to which you put the menu back down.
“Thanks, Cheol,” you mumbled, your eyes drifting over to the man that had orchestrated the whole thing.
“Alright, so then I’ll just let the two of you talk,” Mingyu announced from beside you.
“You’re leaving me with him?”
“Hey!” Seungcheol looked genuinely offended at your question.
“You’ll be fine, Y/N. Just give him a chance,” Mingyu smiled and gave you a thumbs up before leaving you with your brother.
One of the staff members was quick to bring you your drink order, which you were grateful for. It at least gave you something to keep your hands busy while listening to Seungcheol.
As Seungcheol sipped on his own drink, you took the opportunity to ask him the most obvious question. “Why am I here, Cheol? And did you really have to drag Mingyu into this?”
“He owed me, and besides, he was already in this anyway,” Your brother shrugged, causing you to scoff in response. Of course he would find a way. “Regarding you, I felt like we needed to talk about everything. I know I’m blocked, I got the hint.”
“Good,” you stated before bringing your cup of coffee to your lips.
“Look, I know I fucked up, okay? I shouldn’t have invaded your privacy and I definitely shouldn’t have resorted to violence. It was a dick move and I can own that. I’m sorry, Y/N. Truly.”
You put your cup down, looking him straight in the eyes. You needed to know if he was actually sorry and not just putting up an act just for the sake of making things right with you. “Are you actually sorry, Cheol?”
“I am! I really am. Not being able to see you for weeks and hearing that you can’t even stand to see my face really got to me. Especially when your colleague showed up to our usual meetings instead of you, I realized how much I hurt you with my actions. I should have come to you and talked to you about it, but I wasn’t thinking straight,” he shook his head.
“You can’t keep controlling everything in my life, Cheol. I’m not a child anymore and I am perfectly capable of making my own decisions. But you keep breathing down my neck for every little thing, which is, by the way, also one of the reasons I didn’t want you to find out about me dating anyone, friend or not. It can’t keep going on like this or you’ll lose me for good,” you spoke, hoping that the expression on your face was enough indication that you were dead serious about this.
“I know and trust me, I’ll try to be better.” You raised your eyebrows. “I mean, I’ll do better. It was never meant to go to this extent, I swear. Watching you ignore me and suffer on your own isn’t exactly something I’d envisioned. You’re my sister and I just want the best of the best for you. If that means backing off and letting you do your thing, then I’ll have to learn to let you go, he sighed.
A hum left your lips at that, your mind processing his words for a moment before you asked him another obvious follow-up question.
“And what about…Wonwoo?” You nearly choked on his name, the wound still a little too fresh.
“What about him?” your brother asked.
“Well, how are you two? Did you apologize to him?”
“I did, actually. We talked it out about a week ago after Mingyu forced us into a room together. Turns out that he’s pretty good at getting people to resolve conflicts, especially when food is involved,” he chuckled slightly before continuing. “Anyway, we both owned up to our own parts and we’re slowly getting back to what it used to be.”
You weren’t surprised to hear that Mingyu had been the one behind their reconciliation. In fact, you were quite certain that this would have dragged on for much longer had he not forced the two CEOs together. Whereas Seungcheol was stubborn, Wonwoo tended to avoid confrontations, both of which not exactly ideal qualities in times of conflict.
“That’s good, I guess,” you mumbled, feeling somewhat conflicted as you sipped on your coffee. On the one hand, you were glad that the two of them were on good terms again, but on the other hand, you envied your brother for being able to keep his friend while you were left with nothing but heartache.
“There’s actually another reason I asked you to come here.”
You immediately perked up at that, curious as to what else he could have wanted you here for. “Which is?”
What you didn’t expect was for your brother to start waving. Not at you, but at someone…behind you? Confused as to who he was waving, you turned around in your seat, only to nearly drop the coffee cup you were holding.
“W-Wonwoo?” you stuttered as your heart went into overdrive at seeing the man that had captured your heart walk over to your table. There was a cap on his head and a mask covering most of his face, but it was undeniably him – wearing that brown leather jacket that you loved so much.
The man himself seemed surprised at your presence too, his steps slightly faltering. “Hyung? What’s all this?”
“Take a seat.” Seungcheol motioned to the seat beside him. What the hell was the meaning of this? Why would he do this to you when he clearly knew that you were hurting?
Wonwoo hesitantly took a seat in the empty chair opposite from you, his eyes trained on your form. You were no different. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t look away from him, especially when he took off the face mask, revealing the pretty face that you’d gotten so used to. You were glad to see that his cheek had healed fine, but the bags under his eyes were pretty evident. Had he felt just as miserable as you this whole time?
The sound of a throat clearing is what finally got you to tear your gaze away from the CEO in front of you. Your brother was fidgeting in his seat, seemingly nervous about something.
“So, you’re probably wondering why the both of you are here.”
“Obviously,” you grumbled, crossing your arms over your chest while trying to push down the butterflies that had formed in your stomach.
“Right. Well, I had some more time to think, specifically about something Wonwoo said to me last week,” Seungcheol started, his eyes switching to the man sitting next to him. “A certain someone made me realize that I should accept the fact that I can’t control everything that happens. You can’t help who you like or love, and I guess that applies to the two of you too.”
Your breath hitched in your throat at his words. “Wait. What are you saying? What do you mean by that, Cheol?”
Your brother sighed in frustration, twisting his body slightly so that he could address the both of you clearly. “What I’m saying is that I’m not as opposed to the two of you being together anymore.”
“Hyung, are you serious? You would accept us dating?” Wonwoo asked, who, just like you, could not believe what he was hearing from his friend’s mouth.
“If what you said to me that night is still the truth, then yes. Like I told Y/N before, I only want the best for her and I guess I was scared that you wouldn’t be good enough for her, especially with lives as busy as ours. If I’m being honest, no one has ever been good enough in my opinion. But in this case, I was overdoing it a little bit because you were supposed to be my good friend.”
“A little?” you huffed, throwing a pointed look in his direction.
“Okay, a lot. Anyway, I will have to get used to the idea and it will probably take a while, but I’ve seen with my own two eyes what being apart did to the two of you. That’s why I’m giving you my blessing. Just, don’t make me regret it,” your brother said, looking between you and Wonwoo.
“So, I take it that kissing in front of you is a no-go then?” Wonwoo asked, a hint of a smirk on his face. You wanted to scream at the absurdity of this scene. Was Wonwoo actually teasing your brother about kissing you in front of him? – you seriously feared for his face again. Then again, the thought of kissing him after all this time also made your heart flutter.
“Don’t push it, Jeon. Remember that hit you took? That was me going easy on you,” Seungcheol joked, but you didn’t find it that funny.
“Cheol,” you warned.
“I know, I know,” he laughed, causing Wonwoo to crack a little smile too. “But I’m serious, if you hurt her, I’ll know where to find you,” Seungcheol threatened, his own smile faltering slightly.
“I wouldn’t dream of it, Hyung,” Wonwoo assured your overprotective brother.
“Okay, enough with the macho stuff. I would like to stay in the peaceful and forgiving bubble we were in up until a few seconds ago,” you begged, not wanting to risk ruining this dream-like moment. What universe had you landed in for your brother to change his mind? Who was this person that had managed to convince your brother? You would kiss them if you could.
Seungcheol looked at you, his own expression softening when he noticed your concerned one. “Don’t worry, Y/N. I’m not going to change my mind. I was just making sure that we’re on the same page.”
“You promise?”
“I promise,” Seungcheol smiled and for the first time this afternoon, you let yourself smile too. “By the way, does this mean I’m forgiven and you’ll finally unblock me?”
That question earned a shrug from you, followed by a smirk. “Hmm, I don’t know. Maybe? Maybe not? Guess you’ll have to find out at the next consultation.”
“I guess I can survive for another two days.”
“You don’t really have a choice, because I don’t think I’ll be available for the next two days anyway,” you stated, after which you dared to peek at Wonwoo, who you found already staring at you with the hint of a mischievous look on his face.
“What do y-aish.” Your brother’s expression morphed into one of disgust as his eyes darted from you to Wonwoo. “Just go. Or I might actually change my mind in the next few seconds.”
He didn’t need to tell you twice. The rest of your coffee now all forgotten, you nearly jumped up from your chair and reached for Wonwoo’s hand. The CEO was quick to put on his mask and tightened his grasp on your hand as he got up from the seat. You barely remembered to say goodbye to Seungcheol as you hurried out of the cafe, Wonwoo hot on your heels.
“Slow down. I’m not going to disappear, you know,” Wonwoo chuckled as you reached the parking lot.
“I already let you go once. You really think I’m going to waste time by taking it easy this time?” you questioned, taking that moment to let your eyes wander over him. Any work he’d been planning to do would have to wait, because there was no way you were going to leave his side for the next few days.
“You have a point. Mine or yours?” he asked, repeating the question you’d asked him too on the night of your last date.
“Yours. My place is a mess,” you replied, grimacing at the thought of having to clean up the aftermath of weeks of laziness.
“Can’t promise mine is much better, but I could care less.” Now, it was Wonwoo who took the lead, tugging on your hand as he led you to his car.
The drive to Wonwoo’s place was agonizing. You couldn’t keep your hands still, mainly because all you wanted was to touch the man sitting next to you. However, you weren’t about to cause an accident. You could wait. You’d been doing that for the past few weeks, so you could manage a few more minutes. Instead, you chose to observe him. He’d luckily taken off his mask, so there was nothing to obstruct your view.
It was crazy to think that up until today, you’d been a total mess. You’d felt completely lost for the last couple of weeks, not knowing if you’d ever go back to your old self. But now you were sitting in the car with the man you were still so in love with. Even after weeks of not seeing each other, he still managed to evoke the same reactions from you – butterflies in your stomach, your heart racing and your mind filled with nothing but him. Only this time, you wanted all of him and there was nothing or no one that would be able to come in between you this time.
You couldn’t help but grin at the way Wonwoo was gripping onto the steering wheel. Though he didn’t voice his thoughts, it was obvious that he was trying to hold himself together. Your mouth opened to tease him about it, but you refrained yourself from doing so. Teasing would undoubtedly lead to flirting and with the sexual tension hanging in the air, you had a feeling that Wonwoo would have no problem making a pit stop to have his way with you in the car. And although it seemed quite tempting, the risk was just too big. A scandal was not how you wanted to start off this second chance you’d been given.
“You coming?” Wonwoo asked, snapping you out of your thoughts. You noticed that he’d parked his car in his garage and had gotten out to open your side. A smile formed onto your face and you nodded, happily accepting the hand that he’d offered.
“I feel like we probably should have stopped at my place to get some clothes though,” you said as you followed behind Wonwoo, the front door closing soon after that.
“I don’t think you’ll be needing any clothes for what I have in mind,” he mumbled, caging you in between himself and the front door.
The sudden proximity caused goosebumps all over your body, your breath caught in your throat for a second as your eyes found his dark brown ones.
Then Wonwoo was suddenly kissing you before you could get a proper response out. His hands were on your sides in seconds, pressing you further against the door as his tongue slipped into your mouth. Your eyes had automatically closed at the feeling of his soft lips against your own, with your hands making their way to the collar of his leather jacket to pull him even closer. If this was what pure bliss felt like, you never wanted it to stop.
“I love you,” you mumbled in between kisses, not being able to keep it to yourself for another second. The last time you’d wanted to say it, he’d stopped you and you’d respected that. But now…it felt so good to finally be able to say it out loud, especially since there were no consequences this time.
Wonwoo detached himself from you at your proclamation, which was met with a whine of protest from your side at the loss of his lips. With a little chuckle leaving said lips, he leaned his forehead against yours.
“I love you too. So fucking much,” he said before leaning in to plant a few more kissing onto your awaiting lips. “I can’t believe that I actually told your brother that before telling you.”
“You what? No actually, I don't care about that right now. I want to get to the part where we won’t need our clothes,” you pouted, growing more and more impatient and needier the longer you spent fully clothed.
The CEO in front of you smirked at your request, his hands moving down to squeeze your ass gently. “If that’s what my baby wants, then I better comply, huh?” God, this man was going to be the death of you.
Read the smut HERE or skip.
“So, how does it feel? Dating the boss’ sister?” Jeonghan teased, taking a seat on the couch next to the SEVENTEEN Gaming CEO.
Chan’s eyes lit up at the question. “Yeah, Hyung. Tell us,” he urged, drawing the attention of several of the others in the room.
Wonwoo wasn’t surprised that the news of you and him getting back together had already reached his friends. If he had to guess, Mingyu was most likely the one that had spilled the beans – there was no way Seungcheol would have told them. Plus, the fact that the chef was currently avoiding his best friend’s eyes was enough confirmation.
“It’s great. She’s everything I could have wanted.” A small smile made its way onto Wonwoo’s face at the thought of you. It had been three weeks since Seungcheol had given his blessing and the two of you had made it official once again – without exaggeration, the best three weeks of his life.
“Aiii, look at him all happy,” Jun exclaimed, which was followed by a bunch of giggles and screams from the men in the room.
Jisoo, who was sitting next to Jeonghan, nudged his friend. “I bet you he was thinking about some dirty stuff.”
Wonwoo immediately released an annoyed sigh at the playful comment. “I wasn’t.”
“It’s okay, Hyung. We don’t blame you,” Mingyu winked at him from the opposite side of the room.
As if it couldn’t get any worse, Seungkwan decided to open his big mouth. “Hyung! Your brother-in-law over here is having dirty thoughts about your sister!” he yelled to the managing CEO, who was currently getting some snacks from his kitchen. The other men in the room burst out laughing while Wonwoo genuinely feared for his life.
“Yah! Do you want to die?” Wonwoo hissed, hitting the man in question with a newspaper that he found on the small table beside the couch. He should have known that he would never live this down.
Fortunately, Seungcheol seemed completely clueless when he re-entered the room. “Did I miss anything?” Thank god for the big apartment.
“Nothing important,” Wonwoo said quickly before anyone else had the chance to tell him the truth.
“We were just talking about how Wonwoo managed to score your sister,” Minghao spoke, ignoring the glare that Wonwoo threw his way.
Jeonghan grinned before adding, “And to think I missed the chance to shoot my shot.”
“In your dreams,” Wonwoo and Seungcheol responded at the same time, the latter throwing a handful of popcorn at the fashionable CEO. That quickly wiped the grin from his face as he started to scold Seungcheol for nearly staining his designer outfit.
Jihoon rolled his eyes at the squabbling couple. “All jokes aside, we’re truly happy for you, man.”
“Hyung’s right. I can’t believe you went through all that shit and ended up getting your happy ending with Y/N,” Seokmin beamed.
“Well, I guess Mingyu deserves most of the credit.” Wonwoo pointed at the man.
“I can confirm. If anyone needs a matchmaker, conflict resolver or wingman, I’m your guy. You can contact my personal assistant for inquiries,” he declared, a smug look taking over his features.
“I think I’ll pass,” Jihoon mumbled.
“Me too,” Soonyoung agreed with a nod. The chef, who was seemingly offended at being flat out rejected, took that as an invitation to start bickering with his two Hyungs.
A buzzing sound in Wonwoo’s pocket got him to pull his phone out. It was a message from you.
A little sneak peek for tomorrow’s date night:
[Image attached]
Don’t we look cute? I got you one too! :D
He couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of you dressed in the Sherlock Holmes attire that you’d thrifted for the movie you were going to watch. Bom, Saja and Shiro were sitting beside you, all of them wearing little matching detective hats and capes. How you’d managed to put that on Saja and Shiro AND gotten them to sit still for a picture was a mystery to Wonwoo. He couldn’t wish for anything better.
“What’s up with that face?” the ever-observant Mingyu asked, quickly spotting the love-struck look on his best friend’s face.
Wonwoo simply shook his head, still not believing that the universe had blessed him with someone like you.
“Nothing. Just happy, that’s all.”
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AAAND THE END! Hope you all enjoyed the first chapter :D Feedback/comments/reblogs are highly appreciated!
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hobby ideas!
these are some fun ideas of things to do. I would like to do a little reminder at the beginning that if you want to start doing anything, or want to try something, that it doesn't mean you have to like it. you are allowed to try to pick up a hobby, but then decide it's not for you, and you don't want to do it anymore. then you can drop it! that's all cool! and that, it's something I often find, that if I'm not as good at something as people I see, I feel as though I don't deserve to do it- if that makes sense. [I think it's called imposter syndrome. unsure.] but that's not true! and we have to remind ourselves that something we do for fun needn't carry any pressure to it. there is no need to get to a certain level or certain achievement in anything if you don't want to. there aren't rules to enjoying anything! so, if you're bored or want something to do. I make a list of potential
the list starts with things I do, and then I will go through activities I may not actively participate in
of course the first thing I will say is beading. I love beading and if you don't get too excessive with it, it can be quite cheap. I use pony beads, and I like elastic string, but it isn't a necessity. you can get supplies at most dollar shops or art stores I would say. beading is my main interest/hobby, so if you have any questions I am. very enthusiastic and open :]]
review writing is also something you can do. I do it in a notebook or in Google Keep or the Notes app, but I think you can do that anywhere really. you can watch movies or shows or read books and review them on what you think, even analyse it a little if you want. or you can review products if you want. I think it's fun to do, and I pretend I'm telling someone or putting it in the newspaper.
you can also do other types of writing, like poetry or story writing. fanfiction is always an option. vignettes are also a pretty easy thing to do i think. fake news articles. honestly you can write about anything.
origami. im not the best at origami, i can only fold really simple things but all you'd need is paper. If you want to be fancy you can get patterned origami paper in different sizes, but otherwise you can cut anything into a square and fold stuff
fanart forever ✨ i draw a lot of fanart when i cant think of any original stuff to draw. just draw little guys a lot. i find it fun to imagine animal characters as more humanoid.
playing games, either board/card games [i am a board game and card game enthusiast, i would love to talk about them] or online games. it's a fun thing to do and you can get your friends/family involved, or not.
trying recipes is also a fun thing to do. I am notoriously a bad cook but that does not stop me :D I like to try recipes from magazines. This may be a more costly thing to do, check what you have in your cupboard. if you like your neighbours enough you can give them things you make to get on their good side
experiment with makeup. with a cheap eyeliner you can do quite a lot of funky things. try out different styles and shapes, follow tutorials, copy references, etc. if you have sensitive skin you may have to be choosy with what products you buy, and it may take a while to find something that doesn't irritate you. also, would recommend using makeup remover before you go to bed, or whenever you want to take it off
doing your nails. this is another expensive one, i think. nail polish costs a fair bit if you want to get different colours, but its a fun thing to do if your bored. im not sure if the chemicals in nail polish actually matters so i cannot advise on that, but i usually pick up a bottle from the health food store whenever im there.
paint anything. you could paint pictures or buy those things from art stores or bunnings that you can paint. I like painting coasters. you could also paint bottle caps and stick safety pins on the back to make little badges
make/decorate hair clips/pins/headbands. These things are pretty cheap i think, and you might be likely to have some lying around in your home. decorate by sticking stuff on them, like little toys or beads and other things you find
clay. im unsure about the actual price of clay. but you can do quite a few things with it. you can buy airdrying clay from department stores, it takes a couple of days to dry in my experience
loom bands. they are selling them again and they are pretty easy to do. you can spend days on end making them. there are many possibilities
knitting or crocheting. I can actually only french knit but i am learning to crochet. wool 👍 and whatever tools you need
journalling. I'm not sure if that counts as a hobby but i think its good. there are a few different types of journalling and you can find prompts. i have some journalling stuff from my therapist [you do not need to be mentally ill to journal. to clarify.] which i can share if anyone wants? but its fun to talk to yourself and feel more useful for it. just talk about anything
ah, another jewellery making thing. i should have organised this list better. I might redo it later. but you can make woven friendship bracelets by tying little knots and stuff in embroidery thread
you could also do embroidery with said embroidery thread. I dont really remember how to do it anymore but i could ask my friends. Yeah.
paper filigree. I tried this one time and never finished it. probably start by buying a kit. it looks pretty cool
customising clothes, if you have clothes you want to do that with. You could embroider on them or sew little cutouts of fabric on. tie-dye is also something you can do. unsure of how expensive that is.
making pom-poms! you can make them out of wool and a fork and scissors. also stick googly eyes on them to make lil soot sprites :33 which is cute. and hang them on your bags maybe
collaging, maybe. Cut up magazines and stuff, and glue
does going on walks count as a hobby? sometimes i do that when im bored. just walk to a park or a trainstation or anything nearby, or just in a circle. and talk to myself or listen to music or make up stuff about the houses around me, maybe talk to dogs/neighbours.
make flower crowns or clover crowns
make playlists! making playlists is really easy and you can make them for pretty much anything. i make playlists for incredibly specific situations and also for every month of every year. Its a greaaat way to keep track of your mental state as time goes on and ensure you dont get bored of your music. since you'll have loads of playlists. You can also make character playlists and oc playlists and playlists for everyone you know that you'd never show to them.
joining a club is definitely not a hobby but is something you can do for fun. and you get to talk to people which i know gives me a sense of achievement. and you can always drop out after one day 👍
make edits of characters, if that makes sense. like, play songs behind them and cover them in sparkles or something
colouring in, that's a good thing if you dont want to draw. you can buy a colouring book or download and print off of the internet. there are a lot of options in colouring in
gardening as well. you dont necessarily have to plant stuff, you could just weed your garden or pick flowers and put them on your dining table. or you could look after a succulent
do courses on random topics. again, may not be a hobby. but there are places you can do courses for free
reorganising things like your bookshelf, your furniture, your wall, your cupboards
on that topic, decorating your home is also something you can do! Stick things on your walls, line up things you collect. it has the benefit of making you feel more at home and express yourself. I find it calming
sewing stuff. I think this is also more costly if you want to buy patterns. buttt idk.
birdwatching or animal watching in general. you could list what you see or just observe, or even sketch/draw the creatures you find interesting or cool
is plantwatching a word? probably not. but you could walk around and see what little plants you see. and you could get little bits of plants you like and stick them in your journal or press them. you could even keep a plant journal.
nature photography, or photography in general. you could get fancy and use a fancy camera, or really just your phone is surely fine
you could make films maybe. I think that it wouldn't be too difficult to get supplies for that
that's all I've thought of for now! I might add more later, or feel free to add on if you have more ideas! remember that whatever you do, make sure to take breaks every now and again, drink water, eat, go to the bathroom, etc :))
tagging @sleepy-vix because she wanted to be tagged
#cookie talks#long post#I wanted to colour in all the important words but tumblr wont let me for some reason#Sorry for my terrible formatting
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New Fiction 2024 - January
"Osee" ed. Richard Challoner (1752)
I can't go back to check what Osee was on about. All you need to know about this phase of the bible is guys were prophesying, and pretty much every prophecy is about how the Hebrew people were fuckin' it up. This all feels like items in what should have been the appendix, but since I'm reading a Catholic bible it's all just filler until JC shows up. (And we're just under 70% after two solid years of gettin' through it.)
"Joel" ed. Richard Challoner (1752)
Another dull prophet.
This Gray Spirit by Heather Jarman (2002)
I want to love every DS9 book. It's a struggle to not enjoy them. But there's a trend here in the Mission Gamma series of trying to do Too Much. The last book was very long, but also very focused, and the premise of taking the Defiant out into the Gamma quadrant sounds fine until they do it again... and again... and again. And it gets to the point where I just don't care what they're doing. I want DS9--the setting--and its beloved cast of characters to do their thing there. I'll read on but this one really should have been two books instead of this A plot-B plot structure.
Divided We Fall by John J. Ordover, David Mack, Andrew Currie, Michael Collins, Richard Bennett, David Roach, John Nyberg, Jenna Garcia, WildStorm FX, Alex Sinclair, Jeff Mariotte (2001)
This one contrasted nicely against Revenant by Alex White. Both stories focus on Dax and how the Trill symbiont managers are real bad at transparency. The more I learn about this world, the more it sounds like a pretty clear caste system that should get them booted from the Federation. But then, I suffer the flaw of binary judgement, and there's probably some nuance there to consider.
Gargoyles the Movie Game dev. Buena Vista Home Video (1995)
Wow, this was the most broken version of Chutes and Ladders I've ever played. I recommend a house rule of doubling each number on the spinner if you want any chance at winning. The event cards are just so punishing and the strict time limit makes it a steep uphill battle.
Gargoyles Remastered dev. Walt Disney Computer Software & Empty Clip Studios (1995, 2023)
I had a problem with input lag in the original version that ruined my initial impression, but that was on me. Playing the remaster with no input lag and the extra features like updated art, music, and the rewind all added up to a more enjoyable, if short, experience. It's otherwise an interesting artifact from that transition out of 2D platformers and into chunky polygons and pre-rendered 3D visuals.
Gargoyles: Night Flight dev. Tiger Electronics (1995)
I've played a few of these mid-90s Tiger handhelds and it's fine for a car ride, which is where I always imagine these things were played at the time. It's so overly simple that I can't say it's worth playing, unlike the classic Game & Watch titles that had real challenge and replayability to them.
The Color Purple dir. Bazawule (2023)
I never caught the original movie or book, but this musical was great. And those events are some real fucked up trauma.
The Iron Claw dir. Sean Durkin (2023)
As period biopics go, this one's fine. Not too wild or revelatory, other than its highlighting a segment of the wrestling scene which I had no idea about. The performances were all solid and Ephron clearly committed to the role. The story is from that period of simpler costumes and narratives before my friends and I came aboard in the later 80s and 90s, so it was neat to understand a fictionalized buildup to the more familiar stories.
Poor Things dir. Yorgos Lanthimos (2023)
It was great, stylized, and I suppose does have an act structure but it feels a little loose with it, which I'm all for. It just doesn't match up to the amazing work in The Favorite.
Night Swim dir. Bryce McGuire (2024)
A snoozer, I'm afraid. The seed of it is interesting but it doesn't quite grow enough to make it compelling.
Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom dir. James Wan (2023)
Another snoozer. It's not as fun as the first one, and if these superhero things aren't fun then what're we doing here?
The Beekeeper dir. David Ayer (2024)
Yeah this was a rough stretch. Another action snoozer that maybe could have highlighted something interesting about exploitation of elders but just uses that as an excuse for Statham to go around punching dudes in a boring way.
I.S.S. dir. Gabriela Cowperthwaite (2023)
There's this particular subgenre of space movie where people are just out there in their tin cans, then they're stuck or screwed, and the drama plays out amid a desperate race to get out of that sitch. Hell, I will myself to sleep by conjuring a little scene I've developed where I'm out in my little space tug boat and need to shut down systems and go to sleep for the cycle. Gravity, Interstellar, and Life are all recent examples of this kind of movie that come to mind, and now we can add I.S.S. to that list. And I love these. I love space trouble. I ran into a bunch of these stories in my recent watch of The Outer Limits (1995), and I really can't get enough. I.S.S. has this uncomfortable angle on what if Earth annihilates itself, huh, smart guy? (Art reflecting reality, etc.) And that's a bummer to consider. But the story that plays out onboard the station is still neat and I would definitely watch this again.
Mean Girls dir. Samantha Jayne & Arturo Perez Jr. (2024)
Dug it! Maybe more than I did the original. Mostly because the musical sequences are great.
American Fiction dir. Cord Jefferson (2024)
Stories about writers can be a little too navel-gazey for me to handle, but I'm glad I caught this.
The Book of Clarence dir. Jeymes Samuel (2024)
It comes from the angle of true belief, so you have to buy into that going in, but the questions it raises and the general production all make it worth the watch. Plus, they tackle the question of why even is Jesus a white guy (well, we know why), so that makes it extra fun.
Battlestar Galactica - "Saga of a Star World" (1978)
Doofy? That's the word. Definitely of its time, but I'm gonna get through it all later this year.
The Twilight Zone - "Shatterday" (1985)
Ey Bruce Willis being moody before that was his brand. I watched the 60s version and now I feel obligated to see what issues of the day were popping up for 80s TV people.
Stargate SG-1 - "Children of the Gods" (1997)
Oh, okay, I didn't realize they were angling for the Showtime adult crowd with this. I was so used to the sanitized Saturday afternoon syndication version of the episodes. In any case, still a good start. Another show to watch in full later on.
Farscape - "Premiere" (1999)
Hm, more white guys as leads/captains isn't as appealing, but the puppety goodness of Henson aliens compels me to continue.
Fringe - "Pilot" (2008)
Holy shit, those first five minutes! I knew immediately I'd enjoy this show, whatever it's going to be. I heard enough good things that I figured I gotta.
Yellowstone - "Daybreak" (2018)
My mom wouldn't stop talking about this show so now I'll have to see what's what. So far it's Kevin Costner as an old asshole who raised his kids to also be assholes?
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Do you have any advice for newbie fantasy writers? Your characters and world feel so real. I want to reach that level. Also how did you create the language phrases in your story?
Hi there, thank you so much, these are such high compliments! I wrote a little bit about the hardest parts of writing fantasy here recently, and of course there's always more advice in the #writing advice tag, but I think my biggest piece of advice is to start small. Start with your main plot: who are the central characters, what are their roles and relationships to each other, what do they want and how is that in conflict (and there has to be conflict, whether internal or external; otherwise there's no plot). Everything else--all the little details and tidbits about the culture and history and economics and politics--comes way later, and you risk overwhelming yourself if you try and sit down and outline everything from the get-go.
Like, if you know you want to write about a princess and her bodyguard falling in love, start with that and then work outward. What's keeping them apart? What's her job as royalty and her relationship with her family, and her family's relationship with the public? Why are they rulers? Are they regarded favorably or not? Really basic things you need to know before you start writing. Then branch outward: are women eligible for the throne or not? How does succession work in the event of unexpected death? Is this more like a western monarchy, an oligarchy with many ruling clans as part of the court, or something else? Are there threats to the royal family's position? What makes the bodyguard fit to be her bodyguard? Trained in secret arts, master of a special weapon, has special powers, or something else? Then you'll start getting into whether or not magic exists in this world and how it factors into the main plot, what kinds of politics or conflicts exist, which will branch into antagonists and villains, urgent concerns and high stakes, and etc.!
Do not try to start from the beginning (like "500 years ago, there was a war between three factions over the world's most precious resource, ferrunum, and the winning faction retained control over ferrunum, which gives one the power to grant wishes, but only people of pure blood from this one mountain clan can be the ones to ask for the wishes, leading to more conflict over time..."). It spirals out of control quickly and gets the main actual story lost in the muddle! I mean, maybe that's just how my brain works, and outlining everything from the beginning of the universe to the present works for other people; but I think keeping things manageable and just letting different ideas accumulate over time rather than deciding everything straight from the start allows the story to build momentum, rather than stalling it in its infancy!
Another thing I would recommend is looking at many different sources of inspiration, rather than just one or a handful! Read a book (or watch a show, or read a manga, or play a video game) about merchants or pirates or spice traders or inventors rather than just princesses and bodyguards to get a feel for how things work in other aspects of the world, and feel free to explore other fantasy worlds, too--especially ones inspired by other cultures rather than just the classics, like Tolkien and Lewis. I got inspiration for how the nobility acts in Shepherds from sources as varied as Crown Duel (a YA court intrigue fantasy novel), Bridgerton (TV show on Netflix), and Curse of the Golden Flower (Chinese epic wuxia drama film). Just absorb lots of stuff and let the little details inspire you and amalgamate into your own creation!
Finally, to answer your question about different language phrases in the game, I just straight up mashed letters together until they looked right on the screen. Like, I always thought Elvish would sound very flowing and lyrical, like a river rolling over a bed of cool smooth stones or the breeze winding through grass, so I stuck a lot of l's and r's and e's and a's together until they looked right, like aya lani ("the gods smile"). And I thought Haven city slang would be sharp and guttural and cutting, so insults like muti and ketch sounded right!
I hope that helps!
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—THE BET
summary: you thought that as a member of the phantom troupe you were supposed to be smarter than this, yet here you were betting against hisoka. everyone knew that hisoka was a master at poker, cards were his weapon after all, but you couldn’t resist wagering one more bet on a drinking game.
w/c: 4587
tags: dubcon, drunk sex, creampie, blood kink, hate sex, begging, brat taming
a/n: this originally started as a chrollo oneshot, you can kinda tell from how the opening paragraph is about him, but once i started writing the poker game i was like “okay no i gotta make this its own thing,” and because of that decision we now have loose ends getting ch.3 rn :) also no, i couldn’t help but kinda reference phantom of the opera cause it slaps and nobody can tell me otherwise. also, no, before anyone asks, this is a oneshot. it aint getting a sequel.
big thanks to the lovely miss @sealedrosewater for beta reading this clownfucking nightmare.
The heist had gone off without a hitch, Chrollo’s plan worked like a charm and before the night was out you had all flawlessly extracted each and every one of the gilded texts being held in the museum. You still remembered the childlike gleam in your boss’ eyes as he ran his fingers over the aged leather, its binding parchment laced with gold. The faintest ghost of a smile fled from his pallid lips as he admired his new conquest. It made your chest swell with pride, happy to help the man you respected so much. Besides, your cut was nothing to sneeze at.
Your rendezvous was inside a long-abandoned opera theatre where dust clung to the red velvet of the seats and the chandelier was seemingly hanging by a thread; your boss always had a flair for the dramatics. Once all members of the spider had finished reconvening at the empty theatre to gather their spoils it wasn’t long before someone, probably Uvogin, brought out the drinks. Nobunaga had already begun nursing a rum and coke, all while Feitan kept turning down Shal’s insistence to “Just try some, Fei,” Even Shizuku cracked open one of the ice-cold bottles, knocking back an impressive swig. As soon as you saw Machi pulling out a deck of cards you knew you had to stay for the after party.
Unfortunately, the same couldn’t be said of your leader. He’d gone to his room with the book you recovered tucked under his arm. A few other members who couldn’t be bothered took after your leader and went off to whichever side room they’d stashed a futon in the week prior; the Phantom Troupe’s equivalent of picking out a bedroom. A shame, really. You’d seen Feitan drunk once before and it was truly a sight to behold.
You sat crosslegged on the wooden floor, watching your comrades slowly get comfortable for a night of fun. Your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat above you, looking up to see Pakunoda with a soft smile on her face and an opened beer in her outstretched hand.
“Paku, have I ever told you how much I love you?” You couldn’t help but shower the woman with praise. She had been the one who recommended you to Chrollo after all, and she served as your mentor for your first few months until you found your feet.
She scoffed at the compliment, “Far too much,”
Sticking your tongue out playfully at the mindreader, you took a deep sip of beer, enjoying the familiar taste. Paku sat down beside you and it wasn’t long before the two of you were drinking shoulder to shoulder.
“Machi! Deal us in,” You raised your drink to the transmuter and she flicked two cards towards you both.
Scooting away from Paku, you quickly scanned the cards you’d received before pressing them face down. A queen and an ace. Not great, but not awful either.
The others had formed a haphazard circle, each glancing at their cards with an unreadable poker face. Well, all except Hisoka, who seemed pleased as punch with whatever hand he’d been dealt. Silently, Nobunaga took out two coins and threw them into the center— the Troupe’s house rules counting it to be equivalent to 2 billion jenny.
“Call,” you answered, matching the swordsman’s bet with an unreadable expression on your face.
“Oh? Well then, I’ll raise you,” Hisoka purred, pushing five extra chips into the pot without breaking his gaze from yours.
‘What was he planning?’ That smug look of his just made you want to win that much more. The same seemed to be true of everyone else, each calling the clown’s bet in a row. After all, to a member of the Phantom Troupe, five billion jenny wasn’t that much of a loss.
When Machi turned up the first three cards your heart skipped a beat. Two queens and a seven. Winning a round of poker against some of the smartest criminals the world had ever known was an uphill battle, seeing as how you’d been a member for years without winning a single game.
‘Three of a kind already... what should I do?’ Your face was as stone-cold as before, even with the excitement bubbling in your gut. As nonchalantly as you could, you raised another two billion. At that, Uvo and Shizuku both folded, the enhancer grumbling with a disappointed frown.
“I hope you don’t mind, but I haven’t got enough coins~” Hisoka slapped down a twenty, and a chorus of annoyed groans broke out like a choir, the abandoned theatre’s acoustics amusingly echoed the loud noises of displeasure.
After that little stunt only three others remained: Pakunoda, who’s facade hadn’t cracked all game, Nobunaga, who was glaring daggers at Hisoka, and the aforementioned magician holding up his cards in front of him like a child playing for the first time.
All three of you matched his bet, but none were happy about it. As Machi flipped over the fourth card you found yourself holding your breath. Not because you particularly cared about the money at stake, but because you felt closer to a victory than you had in months. The caricature of a medieval jester being illuminated under the light made you dig your nails into the palm of your hand.
Joker. That meant you had four queens.
It never felt harder to fight a smile off your face than in that moment. Without betraying your excitement, you called, and to your surprise so did Hisoka. Was he bluffing? Or did he have something else in mind? Nobunaga took a deep breath, knocking back the rest of his drink before calling alongside Pakunoda.
All eyes were on the card beneath Machi’s fingertips, the seconds it took to turn the paper on its head filled the theatre with a suspense liable to bring its fragile walls to the ground.
An eight of hearts. Oh well, no big deal.
Nobunaga muttered a curse under his breath, revealing a simple jack and ten of the same suit. Pakunoda was unreadable when she showed the pair of kings she held in her hands. She must’ve thought that the three of a kind would’ve won her the game. The smile on your face felt sweeter after holding it in the whole round, and Nobunaga rolled his eyes when he saw your hand, pushing the pot towards you.
“Well, look at that~” Your victory was interrupted by Hisoka’s insufferable tone, the cards he held up making your jaw drop.
A nine and a jack of hearts. A straight flush.
“That’s bullshit!” You cried, enraged over the loss. It wasn’t even that you cared so much about losing, It only mattered because you lost to him. In an instant you had summoned your nen into the palms of your hands, ready to lunge at the clown when Pakunoda grasped your shoulders, holding you back. Sometimes you forgot how much brute strength was hidden under that pantsuit.
“Just flip a coin, don’t give him what he wants.” Your first reaction was to ignore her, squirming against her iron grip to try and get to Hisoka, who was dramatically scooping all your winnings into his arms.
Uvogin tossed yet another empty beer can over his head, “C’mon Paku, I say let ‘em fight,”
“I concur~” The magician chirped, dramatically stacking each and every coin he’d won while boring his yellow eyes right into yours. His tongue parted his lips, a manic excitement hiding behind the coy expression.
Although every muscle in your body screamed at you to rip into him, you knew you wouldn’t win. He knew your abilities and you couldn’t say for certain you knew all of his.
“Never-mind,” You spat the words out at him like they tasted sour, “You’d probably get off on it anyways.”
A few laughs from the peanut gallery followed your words and Hisoka shrugged, the intense bloodlust from a few seconds ago vanishing as if he’d changed his mind about fighting you on a whim. “You may be right, darling,” your face scrunched up at the nickname you knew he only used to get on your nerves, which it did. “but what if we played a different game?”
Despite how badly you just wanted to ignore him and laugh the night away with all but one of your comrades, you couldn’t turn down the idea of a rematch. Your pride wasn’t nothing to you. “What kind of game?” You asked hesitantly.
He hummed, standing up from the towers of coin he’d made, sauntering over to the cooler of drinks Franklin had provided. After digging around the cold box he pulled out a bottle of fruity tequila and two empty shot glasses.
Your eyes narrowed at the “innocent” smile on his face, looking over to Pakunoda for reassurance.
“You’ll kill him if he spikes my drink, right?” You asked your mentor, who nodded resolutely.
Paku was staring at Hisoka like she was already thinking of ten different ways how to kill him. After sizing him up she flashed you a reassuring nod, “Without question.”
Resolute in your decision, you marched forward, snatching one of the shot glasses from his hand. The stage lights shone above him, making his eyes gleam like the plastic gloss of a doll.
“Shall we begin, then?”
You raised an eyebrow, “What are the rules first?”
He waved his hand in the air, brushing it off, “Nothing too complex, I assure you. The first one who taps out will lose. The loser will do something for the winner. That’s all.”
You still weren’t convinced it could be that simple. “What’s the catch?”
That smirk from before returned to his painted face and he suddenly leaned forward, feeling far too close for comfort. Still, you didn’t step away, your face expressionless as he whispered into your ear. If you did you felt like he’d somehow win whatever stand-still the two of you had on.
“If I lose, I’ll leave the Phantom Troupe,” You reeled away, stunned at his declaration.
Being accepted into the Troupe was the best moment of your life, it always would be. When you looked into the mirror at the tattoo that curled under your ribcage you felt such a warm swell of pride. You couldn’t imagine throwing it all away over some drinking game.
“And...” You blinked rapidly, trying to collect yourself, “If I lose?”
The laugh that echoed from his chest was far from reassuring.
The evening slowly ran into the early morning, each of the other Troupe members wandering off eventually in varying stages of drunkenness. Even Pakunoda headed off to bed after confirming that Hisoka hadn’t spiked your drinks with anything other than a strawberry vodka base. It was unnerving at first, to be completely alone with Omokage’s replacement. Luckily his tastes ran strong, and your vision was spinning before your knew it.
“Match.” Another shot went down your throats, the taste disgustingly sweet, and you watched as his Adam’s apple tensed from the burn.
You’d long since stopped counting how many drinks you’d had, losing track once you got to the double digits. You were both using nen to reinforce yourselves, obviously, but it wasn’t infallible.
‘How is he so good at this?’ You wondered, because as the bottle ran low you started to question just what had made you so confident as to enter a bet with Hisoka in the first place.
“My dear, why not rest for a minute? At least try to enjoy each others company?” His legs were crossed, resting his hand on his palm as he not-so-subtly checked you out. It wasn’t uncommon, and certainly not unexpected from someone like him, but what you hated wasn’t just the nerve of him, but how it made you feel. His scrutiny sent chills down your spine, the unnerving edge to his tone only making you shift your thighs together to relieve some of the pressure.
“You’re the worst, Hisoka,” you knocked back two consecutive shots, unable to hide the wince it caused on your face. Good, you wanted it to sting. Anything to take your mind off the magician in front of you.
He pouted as he poured another row of drinks, “Aw, now why’s that?”
You answered his question with another, pointing towards the half-empty bottle of liquor, “Whats in this, really?”
The magician rolled his eyes, “I did pick an unopened bottle for a reason, dear, I do so want you to trust me.”
Without much fanfare he threw back four shots, over your stunned reaction.
“Just give up already, Darling~ I promise to make it worth your while,” You were reaching your limit for sure, but you were far to stubborn to give up without a fight.
“Fuck you,” you took the first of your next four shots slowly, not managing his fast pace.
He grinned a cheshire smile, “Oh, say that again, will you?”
If he were to call you out on the blush slowly spreading across your nose you’d just blame the alcohol, but the truth was that his words just egged you on even more to the point where you were almost—barely even considering...
“What do you mean, make it worth my while?”
He leaned forward like a cat, agile and silent, whispering his words against your temple, “I’ll tell you how I won that hand,” He got you, hook, line, and sinker.
“You’ll tell me how you cheated?”
Hisoka nodded, a clawed hand coming to stroke a stray piece of hair behind your ear, the action far too intimate for someone like him.
There was no way you’d win against him in this match, that much was clear from the very sober way Hisoka held himself against you, inhumanly still, so what did you have to lose?
‘Your dignity,’ A part of you answered back, but it wasn’t all that convincing. You’d left your dignity behind four shots ago.
“If I lose...”
“If you lose,” He mouthed the words into your cheek, his eyes closed in thought, “You do know what I’ve decided my prize shall be, right?” Of course you knew what he wanted. You weren’t stupid, and the way he nuzzled himself into your neck was far from subtle.
Were you actually so desperate to learn how you lost that you’d sleep with him?
No, you weren’t. But the ache between your legs was getting harder to ignore, and the idea that you could write off what you were about to do behind the excuse of gathering intel sounded like a win-win.
You dug your hands into his hair, not trying to be anything but rough, basking in the moan that spilled from his lips, breath hot against your neck before you yanked him back to meet your gaze.
“Fine. You win, Hisoka,” He smirked, and although he was on his knees he still towered over you, “so how did you cheat?”
Before you could blink his hand had wrapped around your throat, the magician slamming your head into the wood of the stage. You’d had plenty of time to block the damage with your hatsu but the action left your brain rattling inside your skull.
“I’ll tell you later,” He promised, the disorienting blur was slow to fade from the alcohol, and distantly you could feel his other hand stroke your face, his nails like filed daggers trailing over your cheekbones.
“What to do with my prize, then, hm?” He mused, tilting your head from left to right as if examining a block of wood he was about to carve. You coughed on impulse when he let go of your neck, guiding it up instead and taking both your small hands into his palm with an iron grip.
With a flick of his wrist he drew a card, the eight of hearts, seemingly out of nowhere, his nen sharpening it into a thin blade, “Don’t move,”
“Wait... Hisoka, don’t—!” You were far too late to stop him, the frigid air of the ghostly theatre rushing to meet the bare skin of your chest.
Your shirt fell to ribbons along with your bra and you thrashed desperately in his grasp, angry over the loss of your favorite top. He paid your escape attempt no mind, enraptured with the way your tits rose and fell with the timing of your breath and the way you tried to wriggle yourself free.
Still holding your hands to the floor above you, his head bent to wrap a skilled tongue around your tits, a soft sigh involuntarily falling away from you.
“I fuckin’ ha-ate you, Hisoka—ah,” His teeth bit down on your peak at the comment, peering up at you from under his fiery hair.
“Oh? Then why is it you’re moaning like a little whore?” He shifted his weight above you and you saw an opportunity.
You kicked with all your strength between his legs, pulling your knee back and shoving him off with a dig of your shoe into his stomach, “I’m not, don’t call me that shit!”
He actually loosened his grip on you clearly not intending for you to get free from his grasp, a choked sound of what you thought was pain devolving to something much more heated as he stared into you.
“You... are well worth the wait, my dear,” His bloodlust seeped out from every pore, grounding you to the spot. You could usually hold your own against someone like him but it wasn’t hard to see the disadvantage you were at.
Within a fraction of a second he was on you, twisting your waist in his clawed grasp until your ass was hiked into the air, a sharpened playing card slicing through the denim until he could rip it from your legs, yelp echoing like music in the long-silent theatre.
“I knew you’d have some fight left in you,” He crawled forward and you started to realize why he wore exclusively baggy pants, his length hot against you through the fabric as his hips caged you in. As he began to remove that street-performer getup he always wore he’d occasionally curl his hand around your waist to mercifully tug on your ignored clit, your groans muffled and cursed, “I love it. That resilience? It just turns me on.”
You could feel your confidence fade as he tugged those sweatpants down, the weight of him grinding into your ass made all your bravado vanish.
“It will make it so much more satisfying...” He pointed his finger upwards, and suddenly your hands became magnetized to each other, no amount of struggle even budging the rubbery nen substance. “...when I break you.”
Without warning he slid himself inside you, hands holding your hips still as he forced your back into an arch. You couldn’t move even if you wanted to, the flailing of your bound arms useless as he shallowly began pumping his cock deeper inside you.
Your muffled curses whispered into the floor made him laugh, pulling his hand back and cruelly slapping the vulnerable flesh of your ass without a warning.
“Wh.. Why?”
“Because, darling, I want to hear you beg for me.” He pouted, teasing your clenched walls with only the tip of his slick head.
Despite the desire coursing through your veins you still had your pride in tact, “Never gonna happen, asshole.”
Gripping your hips, he dug himself into your dripping cunt as far as he could, both of you unrestrained with a moan at the feeling of his cock brushing near your cervix, your hips traitorously snapping back to meet his eager thrusts, movement near impossible as Hisoka forced you into the ground.
You cried out softly with each quick pull and stretch, only able to say his name one syllable at a time,
“Hi-so—kah...” It was hard to turn your head to the side from his brutal pace but somehow you manage, craning yourself in order to see him; His head was thrown back with a sheer bliss softening his glistening skin, his eyes closed and lips parted. The sight made your keening grow louder, the simple image of him losing himself in your twitching pussy sending a wave of slick dripping around his length.
He must’ve felt your gaze on him because soon enough his was staring at you, his pupils blown wide with desire in a way that made them look like a sun eclipsed, black outlined with a ring of fiery gold.
All at once his hips froze, digging his cock so far as to leave an indent in your pelvis. For a confused second you thought he’d finished, but his gaze was cruel and focused, his lips in a smirk, and you felt no more full than you had a moment ago. He was doing this on purpose.
“Wait, no-nono, wh..y?” You hiccuped, taking his break as a moment to wipe unshed tears from your glossy eyes.
He sighed, “I don’t like repeating myself, darling,” He accentuated the infuriating nickname with a slap to your thigh, face unchanged as he trailed his sharpened fingertips along the reddening skin.
“His..oh.. fuck, Hisoka—“ The banished tears returned, falling silently down your pink face as you whispered, “please,”
“Hmm? Sorry, I couldn’t hear you, my dear, mind saying that again?
Your voice hiccuped as you spoke, “Please, alright? Please,” You thought it’d be enough, that he might finally go back to toying with your clit while he fucked you into the old floorboards, but you’d underestimated the magician’s self-control.
Innocently, he tilted his head, “Please what, dear? Please hit you again?” Hisoka didn’t blink as he slowly brought up his palm, giving you plenty of time to try and wiggle free from your punishment just to show off how futile escape really was, lashing his hand down on the same patch of skin as before, grinning at the shriek he yanked from your lungs.
“No! No, fu-uck.. just—“ You whimpered, brain seemingly disconnected from your mouth as you struggled to form the words, “just fuck me, Hisoka, please.”
“Look at you, huh? You were a slut after all,” He purred, letting the weight of your words hang lifeless in the air along with your stubborn pride. Before you could argue again his hand had returned to your clit, pace unforgiving as he pulled your nerves ever closer to snapping only to halt the second he grew bored, “Say it,”
Mindlessly, you nodded your head, “I’m yours, I’m your slut, Hisoka,” you intentionally clenched yourself around him, mumbling lucid pleas for more as his hard cock twitched, pre cum dripping from your heat onto the floor as your conscience trying to deny what your body so willingly accepted, “want you to fuck me, Hisoka, fu-ck,” you whined, the still presence inside your sensitive walls drove you insane.
With each word a truly unhinged aura began to surround him, and by extension, you, the intoxicating menace dripping over you like a drug as you faced forward once again, wiggling your ass as best you could in his grip.
That was his breaking point, ripping you away from his cock only to drive himself back in, digging the full blade of his nails into your hips, blood pooling around the crescent cuts.
“Fuck, ah.. Darling, ‘doing so good, so good’fr me-ah,” He slurred his words together, more drunk on you than the vodka as he leaned back, forcing you to meet him as his thrusts became so quick that it was getting hard to breathe, your ribcage creaking with discomfort as you were nailed into the stage.
“M..o-re, more...” You begged, and he was happy to oblige. the smearing crimson of blood running hot down your thighs, the pain only making you more pliant in his sculptor’s hands as he folded your body however he liked, ignoring your pained weep from the stretch as he slung one of your bleeding legs over his shoulder.
It was almost weird to hear him say your actual name, so often he used a pet name to mock or flirt with you, sometimes both, “So good for me like this, taking me so goo-uh,” He choked on his words as your cunt tightened around him, your hands clinging for balance in his hair, and Hisoka clearly didn’t mind if the slew of moans from his lips was any indication.
The angle his hips cut into had the edges of your vision turning into a vignette, “I’m close, so close, gonna cum inside you, yeah? Right here,” The hand that had been toying with your clit changed angles, his fingertips spinning spirals onto your aching bud while the flat of his hand pushed against your stomach, your shout swallowed by his pretty lips, tongue toying with yours.
“Ye-es cum inn-side me,” You were too far gone to care, anything he said sounded good as long as he said it in that sultry purr, arms numb as they lay suspended above your head.
“Take it, take it, Darling,” With what little strength you had left you curved your calf beside his neck, pulling him in until his cock brushed your cervix, the pain indistinguishable from the pleasure, “Uhn, cumm-fuck, i’m cumming—“
His cum was thick, the curve of his cock jutting inside you as he filled you up, mercifully swallowing your hallowed scream as he kissed you deeply, almost all feeling in your raised leg lost until he lowered it to his waist, involuntarily snapping his hips up although they had nowhere left to go until your moan turned into a broken sob of lingering bliss.
“Shh, dear, I’ve got you,” With a whirl of his wrist your arms were free of his bungee gum, shakily pulling them to your sides again as he pressed open-mouthed kisses along your neck, whispering a slurred mess of sweet words, stopping to suck a particularly deep hickey into the vein of your flesh.
“Hisoka, quit it!” Your fight had returned along with feeling to your fingertips as you wrenched him back by the hair, his cock jumping.a bit inside you at the grip, “I’ll have to wear sweaters for weeks now, you jerk.”
The capillaries had already begun to burst as he laughed, reaching up behind your head to pull his discarded top forward, digging out what looked like a piece of smooth cleaning cloth from its pocket and lying it over your neck with a simple point of his finger, gyo revealing the pink gum of his aura that controlled it before he smoothed the fabric over your skin, the texture so light you could barely feel it.
“A deal’s a deal, love, I’ll tell you how I cheated,” He smiled as satisfied and smug as he could ever be, a tingling sensation overtaking the patch of covered skin.
As he pulled your hand away you ran your fingers over the cloth, not finding a seam among the normal tone of your chest. Eyes wide as you looked at him for answers he was already happy to provide, “It’s called texture surprise. I can apply it to any flat surface and change its appearance. It’s quite handy,”
“It works on skin, paper, even playing cards,” You felt like an idiot. During the match you kept analyzing him for a sleight of hand trick all while he was using a second nen technique to win. It was so simple but genius, and you felt a little bit better knowing you weren’t outwitted by something obvious.
“You’re the worst, Hisoka,”
He chuckled, kissing along the new unblemished canvas of your neck, “I know~”
#hisoka x reader#hisoka x reader smut#hisoka morrow#hisoka morrow x reader#hisoka morrow x reader smut#phantom troupe#hxh fanfic#hxh#hunter x hunter
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Good Girl (Wilhemina Venable x f!Reader)
Synopsis: No single person has ever enchanted you as much as Miss Venable. All you want is for her to feel the same.
Words: 4.1k
Warnings: smut
**GIF not mine**
You’d always had a thing for authority figures. You’d had countless crushes on teachers, had lusted after your boss for an embarrassingly long time, and any woman in a cops uniform could handcuff you whenever they wanted.
Miss Venable outshone them all.
You’d never met anyone with such an aura of authority in your life. Just seeing her could make your mouth go dry and your stomach tighten. You wanted to get down on your knees for her. She was making your time in Outpost Three both heaven and hell.
Your fingers tripped along the spines of leather bound books, the library quiet in the afternoon hours. The others, congregated before a fire, had left you to your own devices, choosing to complain about the conditions rather than accept their new reality. The song, the constant loop, was playing and you mouthed along to the words, unconscious of it in these moments when you were alone. Your mind was focused on the way Miss Venable’s eyes had glittered over dinner the night before, the firelight bringing life to the usually hard to read expression on her face.
There had been a moment, when Coco was complaining about something or other, when your eyes had met hers. You’d given her a small half smile and her chin had dipped. It had sent a thrill through you that you’d never experienced before. You’d had to look away before you’d done something stupid at the table, like swear your life long loyalty to her in front of everyone. You hadn’t been able to even so much as look at her since then.
“Are they not to your liking?”
The voice was sarcastic but the tap of the cane had you jumping around, pressing your back to the shelves. A tilt of the head and you were ready to spill your deepest secrets to the red haired woman if only asked for them.
“No I… I,” you tried to get out but your mouth was dry.
Something sparked in her eye and she took another step forward. You tried to press back against the shelves further but they were already digging into your flesh. She stopped in front of you, both hands clasping her cane, her face inscrutable.
“You?” she asked, her voice low, making you squeeze your eyes closed.
“I’ve already read them,” you said. You squinted your eyes open. Her eyes were roving over your face. You felt your skin heat up under her gaze.
She nodded, turning away from you, perusing the shelves across the room from you. You turned your back on her, assuming that was a dismissal from her. She’d done worse when done with the other Purples. You pulled a book at random from the shelves, not bothering to look at the title before turning to walk out of the library.
“Wait.”
You froze, the absolute command of that single word making the place between your legs throb. The tap of a cane and you turned. You saw her murmur something to herself.
“If you have read them all, what would you recommend?” she asked.
“Oh.” You felt your eyes grow a bit wider, “I suppose it depends on what you’re looking for. There’s a lot about the Salem witch trials if that interests you, or a lot about plants if that takes your fancy. There’s not much fiction, but over in the corner are some books teaching Latin.”
“And you have read them all?” she asked.
“There’s not a lot to fill the hours with,” you said, “and sometimes I can’t sleep.”
She gestured to the book in your hands, “is that a particular favourite?”
“Um.” You finally looked at the title. A book on the witch hunts in Europe, “it’s very informative.”
“Read it to me.”
She turned, taking a seat in one of the chairs, firelight flickering over the planes of her face. With her back to the fire her expression was nothing but shadows.
“Well?”
You jumped, hurrying over to the other seat. You cracked the book open, your eyes flicking up to her then back down. You blinked, then began reading, your voice hesitant. You saw her eyes close and you took a deep breath, continuing stronger.
You don’t know how long you were there, how long she had you read out loud to her. It was hard to tell if she enjoyed it. At some point her eyes opened, watching you intently, but her expression gave nothing away as to how she was feeling. All you could go off was how you felt, which was as if you were caught in an intimate moment you hadn’t prepared for. Soft voice, firelight, and the attention of a beautiful woman had you ready to flee and ready to remain as long as you were wanted. The warring sides of your brain kept you from enjoying the moment.
After time had passed, pages and pages gone by, she held up a hand, silencing you. She stood and you hurriedly followed suit, the book shutting with a loud clap in the otherwise silent room.
“That is enough.”
“Of course, Miss Venable.”
You bowed your head as she passed you and without another word she swept from the room, the tap of her cane growing faint. On weak legs you sunk back down on your seat, pressing your hand to your cheek. Your heart was thrumming hard and fast and you felt light headed. Already you were addicted to her presence.
That night you found a book outside your door. A book you had never read before.
The next day brought Gallant in the library, complaining about the lack of any interesting books but an insistence on lounging in one of the arm chairs. This led to Coco searching him out where they both took up a loud conversation about missing Vogue. You gave up five minutes into the conversation, searching out a quiet corner of the facility to try and hear your own thoughts.
And to read your gift.
You took to carrying it with you. Having it out of your sight for more than a few minutes had you feeling itchy. You read it cover to cover, your fingers running over the ink and paper and leather. By touching it, it felt as if you were touching the woman from who you’d received it. It was the closest you’d ever get to her with the rules in place.
She found you in a quiet corner of the Outpost, a place usually only frequented by the Grays. You sat in an alcove, your legs curled under you, book open in your lap. The soft leather against your fingertips and the comfort of familiar words filled your heart but the tap of the cane on the floor had your heart fluttering. You looked up, watching her approach.
“A new favourite?” Her voice had you ready to please.
“Non fiction can be stimulating but I’ll always be fonder of fiction,” you said.
“You seem unable to put it down,” she said, “or has it become a safety blanket as a child would carry?”
“More that I don’t trust the others with it,” you said.
“You think they would do something to one of your possessions?” She raised an eyebrow at you.
“I know Coco sends Mallory in to find out people's secrets,” you said, “it won’t end well if they think I’m hoarding anything. Even if it’s something they don’t particularly care about.”
She took another step forward.
“And I believe the original owner may want it back,” you said.
Long fingers plucked the book from your lap, a disdainful look crossing the face at the title but the corner of the mouth quirked up. You devoured her face, your eyes roving over the high cheekbones, the full lips, the dark eyes. You wanted to know everything that was passing through her mind.
“Have you enjoyed it?” she asked, her eyes meeting yours. A thrill went down your spine.
“Very much so,” you said.
Her fingers curled over the cover of the book, holding it to her chest. You felt yourself flush, imagining it was you she was holding close. You could imagine her heart beating against your skin.
“It’s not his best work but he has a way with words I’ve always found elegant,” she said. Her eyes felt as if they were boring into yours, drawing answers from you that you had no idea she wanted. You were willing to give them to her. Whatever they were.
“Do you enjoy poetry?” you asked. Her eyes squinted but obviously she did not find it too distasteful a question.
“Occasionally,” she replied, slowly, considering the words coming out of her mouth, “most poetry I find insipid but there are a few I’ve found enjoyment in.”
“There’s a small volume of poetry I found tucked under my mattress when I arrived. That book reminded me of it,” you said, “perhaps you would like to read it.”
She tapped her cane on the floor, making your mouth fall open. You planted your feet on the ground, folding your hands in your lap to keep her from seeing them tremble. She tilted her head, her eyes running down your body then back up until she met yours.
“Lead the way,” she said, slow and steady.
You rose on shaky legs, giving her a quick nod. She held out her hand, letting you step in front of her. You felt your hips swaying an extra amount as you walked in front of her, hoping she was looking but assuming she wasn’t because she was above that kind of thing. You couldn’t stop your body from giving her the signals.
You paused in front of your room, turning to look over your shoulder at the woman following behind you. She tilted her chin up and you turned back, grasping the doorknob. It opened smoothly in your grip and you pushed it open. You didn’t bother to invite her in, automatically lighting the candle by the side of your bed. The soft tap of the cane and a quiet click had you stiffening.
“It’s, um.” You turned, “it’s still under the mattress.”
“Are you expecting me to lift it?” You could tell by the note in her voice that the answer should be no.
You lifted the mattress, pulling out the thin volume. The worn leather and the hand cut paper was exactly where you’d left it, small enough to fit in your hand. You turned, jerking back when you found Miss Venable much closer than you were expecting. You fell on the thin mattress, wincing as a spring stabbed you in the ass. She chuckled, something in her face softening.
“I’m not going to bite,” she said.
Her fingers brushed against yours as she took the book from your hand. She didn’t bother looking at it, turning on her heels and walking to the door. She opened it then turned back to look at you.
“Unless you’d like me to.”
Since then you hadn’t been able to think of anything else. Her teeth sinking into your skin, leaving marks to be seen later, the pain and pleasure mingling together. All she had to do was give you a look and you had to press your thighs together while you tried to catch your breath. And from the way her lips would curl up every time she knew what she was doing.
A few weeks after that incident you found your book of poetry outside your door, plus a thick, well worn paperback, the first of its kind you’d seen in the Outpost. You looked both ways out the door, finding the hallway deserted. You picked up both, a hint of lavender clinging to the pages. You ran your fingers over the raised lettering. Another by the same author.
You stayed up all night reading.
You brought it with you to breakfast before slipping into the library, wanting the silence to wrap around you. You sank into the armchair, running your fingers along the edge of the pages. You could see some of the pages had been dog eared and in one place you could see the vestiges of pencil underlining a sentence.
Your head jerked up when you heard the tap of a cane on the stone floor. The dark figure of a beautiful woman emerged from the shadows. You watched as she began to look at the shelves, completely ignoring you.
Without thinking you began to read from the book aloud in a soft voice. You kept your eyes trained on the words, not wanting to look at the woman. If you did then it would all fall apart and you’d lose your voice. You kept going until a finger rested on the book, gently pushing it down into your lap.
You looked up into dark eyes, able to see the firelight flickering in them. She grasped your chin in a tight grip, and you felt your heart jump. Her eyes darkened as your tongue darted out to wet your lips.
“You’re such a good girl,” she murmured, “all for me.”
Her thumb swiped along your bottom lip. You made a noise in the back of your throat and a smile curled at the corner of her mouth.
“If I asked you to debase yourself in front of me, you would, wouldn’t you?” she asked.
“Yes Miss Venable,” you said.
She let you go, pushing your face away. She took a step back from your sitting form, the mask slamming back into place. Voices began to draw closer from outside. She turned back to the shelves, her back stiff and chin high. You sniffed and stood up, fleeing from the room, not sure you could handle another second with the cloying atmosphere of desperate want. You almost slammed into Mallory in your rush, a quiet chuckle following you all the way back to your room.
You fell back on your bed, ignoring the clamouring voices in your head. You squeezed your eyes closed, trying to get your breathing back under control. You couldn’t stop the heat in your cheeks and you knew you were in hell. And Miss Venable was the devil.
You tried avoiding her after that. It shouldn’t have been so difficult in a place as large as the Outpost but she seemed to be around every corner. With the rule about copulaton you had to get over whatever hold that authoritarian woman had on you before you were shot in the back of your head for wanting her in every way. But she wasn’t making it easy.
You’d finished reading the book she’d lent you, trying to draw it out as long as possible. The longer you were reading it, the longer you could keep a piece of her with you. It was sitting on your nightstand, burning your brain with shame. You knew you had to give it back, but you couldn’t bring yourself to knock on her door and hand it over. You couldn’t bring yourself to face her, alone, without fear of being interrupted. Every night you looked at it before blowing the candle out, that well of shame overflowing in you, knowing you had no right to the book, but unable to give it up. Once you did, it would be the end of whatever was going on.
You were frozen, unable to move one way or the other.
On one of those nights, when the images of what if were running through your head, and your heart hurt so much you thought it might kill you, you rummaged under your mattress for the poetry book. It was wedged in tight, taking a few tugs to free it.
You pressed yourself against the cool stone wall, your knees at your chest. You rested the book balanced precariously on your knees. When you opened it to your favourite poem some dried pressed lavender slid from between the pages. You picked it up with your thumb and forefinger, careful not to crumble it. The scent of lavender surrounded you, making your heart ache.
Looking down at the small piece of lavender, kept in your book, marking your favourite poem, it made something in your brain crack. It must have because you stood up, snatching up the paperback, and stormed out of the room.
Everyone knew where Miss Venable’s room was, and thankfully for you, people tended to avoid that area of the Outpost. You stood outside the door, staring at it, listening to your heartbeat in your ears. You raised a hand, watching it tremble. You knocked on the door.
It took a while to open and as you waited you considered turning around and running back to your room. Seeing her in flickering firelight and a satin nightdress had the breath knocked from your body. She looked at you with inquisitive eyes.
“It’s past lights out,” she said, “you're supposed to be in your bed.”
“I’d rather be in yours.”
You clapped a hand over your mouth, your eyes widening and ice filling your veins. Her face hardened for a moment before her hand shot out, grabbing your wrist. You tried to jerk back but she pulled you forward into the room, the door slamming behind you. You were shoved back against the door.
“I’m so sorry Miss Venable. I don’t know why I said that. I didn’t mean it. I’m so so sorry,” you said. She tilted her head, not giving anything away as she looked at you, “oh god I’m so sorry. Please don’t kill me.”
“What’s that in your hand?” she asked, not letting go of your wrist.
“It’s your book. I came to return it to you,” you whispered.
“And climb into my bed?” she murmured.
“No, I- it wasn’t- I wasn’t trying to,” you tried to say.
“That is disappointing,” she said.
“What?” You felt as if you were on the back foot. It didn’t make sense. She was looking at you with those unreadable eyes, her lips pressed together.
“I was hoping you were going to debase yourself for me,” she said, “or are you not my good girl?”
You squeaked. She gave you a slow smile, her hand dropping your wrist to wrap around your throat, giving it a gentle squeeze. Your mouth fell open and the book fell to the floor with a thump.
“Or were you waiting for me to bite you?”
She bared her teeth at you. Your hands settled on her hips, feeling the soft material against your skin and the warmth of her body. You tugged on her but she didn’t move a step.
“Answer me,” she said.
“Yes Miss Venable.”
“You were waiting for me to bite you?”
“I was hoping you would,” you said, your cheeks aflame. Her eyes darkened, turning molten, smouldering at you, “in fact it’s all I’ve been able to think about.”
Her head descended, warm breath fanning over the exposed skin of your neck. Her hand slid into your hair, tangling in your locks, pulling your head to one side. Her lips pressed to your jugular and you thought you might die. A warm tongue ran over your skin, tasting you. You made a strangled little noise and you felt her chuckle against you. Your fingers reflexively tightened on her hips.
“Only good girls get rewards,” she murmured into your skin.
“Tell me what to do,” you said, “please.”
“Touch yourself.”
She took one of your hands off her hip and pressed it between your legs. You jerked against your fingers, surprised how sensitive you already were. You pressed more insistently, a little gasp falling from your lips.
You tugged at your skirts until they were up around your hips, your hand able to gain better access to your panty covered core. She tightened her hand in your hair until you felt it pull. You whined, feeling her teeth scrape against your skin. You slipped your hands inside your underwear, your finger beginning to circle your bundle of nerves. A breathy moan escaped your lips. Her teeth pressed more insistently into your skin.
You bucked against your own fingers as you pressed down on your clit. Her teeth sunk into your neck, deep and hard. You whined, reaching out to Miss Venable, slipping your arm around her waist. Your fingers clutched at the fabric of her night dress. Her teeth sunk in deeper, not letting go as pain turned to pleasure, shooting down to your core in a wave.
She brought her hand down between your legs, knocking yours away from your heated core. You whined until her fingers replaced yours. She hummed into your skin, collecting the wetness on her finger. Your knees trembled.
Her tongue ran over your bruised skin as her finger plunged into you. You moaned, your head falling back against the wall. Her teeth sunk into your shoulder, leaving another bruise for you to find later. Her palm brushed against your clit and your hips jumped towards her.
Her pace was slow, tortuous, but adding another finger had you making a strangled noise in the back of your throat. She pressed you back against the wall, pinning you there as her fingers thrust in and out of you. It was the only thing keeping you upright. She sucked hard on your pulse point.
You were panting, the pressure building in you. Her face was hidden in your neck, her teeth all over you. Her thumb pressed down on your bundle of nerves. One of your hands landed on her shoulder, fingers clutching at her. She murmured something into your skin, the fire licking at you. Your thighs were trembling.
“Come for me, my good girl,” she whispered, her breath fanning over the shell of your ear.
It crashed into you, wave after wave of pleasure coursing through your bloodstream. You stiffened, your breath catching in your throat. She nipped at your collarbone as her fingers slowed. As you came back to yourself you realised how tightly you were gripping her. You let her go, flexing your fingers. She stepped back, holding up her fingers to show you them glistening in the flickering candlelight.
“You’ve made quite a mess,” she said, “clean it up.”
You opened your mouth, sliding your lips around her digits, tasting yourself on her skin. She hummed, her dark eyes watching you, studying you, making you flush under her scrutiny. You grasped her wrist, drawing it away from your mouth, your tongue lapping at the rest of your juices, never breaking eye contact with her. It might have been the candles, but you thought there might be a blush high on her cheeks.
“Good girl,” she murmured.
Her other hand came up, resting on your throat, her thumb running over one of the bite marks on your skin. You hissed, surprised at the sting. She drew her hand back, a drop of your blood lingering on the pad of her thumb. Her tongue darted out, catching it before it slid from her skin. It shouldn’t have sent a thrill of arousal through you again.
“I found the lavender,” you said, “how did you know that was my favourite poem?”
She quirked an eyebrow. While you waited you pressed a kiss to her palm, your thumb running over the pulse thrumming in her wrist. You could feel it racing, despite the calm look on her face.
“It was my favourite too,” she said.
You offered her a small smile, “it was nice seeing something natural down here.”
“Consider it a gift.” She cupped your cheek, her thumb running over your cheekbone. You nuzzled against her palm, pressing a kiss to the knuckles of her other hand, her wrist still in your hold. Her eyes were sparkling.
“Now return to your room,” she said.
She removed her hand from your cheek and pulled her hand from your grip, turning away from you. Her red hair swayed against her back, lit up by the candlelight, and all you wanted to do was wrap your hands in it. You gulped. You had never wanted another person as much as you wanted her.
“And if you’re a good girl tomorrow I might let you return the favour.”
You’d never moved so fast on shaky legs before.
#wilhemina venable#wilhemina venable imagine#wilhemina venable x reader#sarah paulson#ahs imagine#sarah paulson imagine#sarah paulson x reader
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Not Up For Interpretation - An Essay On Nonbinary - Erasure
(Trigger Warning: Misgendering, Transphobia, Nonbinary-phobia)
If you’ve been following me for a while, you probably know this was a long time coming. I’ve made several posts about my frustrations concerning this topic and how much it hurt me just how socially accepted erasing an entire identity still is. While representation marches on and things have become better for nonbinary people as a whole, we still battle with a lot of prejudice - both intentional and unintentional.
In this essay, I want to discuss just how our identities are being erased almost daily, why that is harmful and hurtful and what we all can do to change that.
Chapters:
What does Non-binary mean?
Nonbinary- representation in media
So what’s the problem?
How do we fix it?
1. What Does Non-binary Mean?
Non-binary is actually an umbrella term. It includes pretty much every gender-identity that’s neither one or the other so to speak, for example, agender.
Agender means feeling detachment from the gender spectrum in general. If you’re agender, you most likely feel a distance to the concept of gender as a whole, that it doesn’t define you as a person.
There are many identities that classify under non-binary: There’s gender-fluid (you feel you have a gender, but it’s not one gender specifically and can change), demi-gender (identifying as a gender partially, but not completely) and many others.
Sometimes, multiple non-binary identities can mix and match.
Most non-binary people use they/them pronouns, but like with so many things, it varies.
Some nonbinary-people (like me) go by two pairs of pronouns. I go by both she/her and they/them, because it’s what feels most comfortable at the moment. But who knows, maybe in the future I’ll switch to they/them exclusively or expand to he/him.
There is no one defining non-binary experience. Nb-people are just as varied and different as binary people, who go by one specific gender.
There are non-binary people who choose to go solely by she/her or he/him and that’s okay too. It doesn’t make them any more or less non-binary and their identity is still valid.
If your head’s buzzing a bit by now: That’s okay. It’s a complicated topic and no one expects you to understand all of it in one chapter of one essay.
Just know this: If a person identifies as non-binary, you should respect their decision and use the pronouns they go with.
It’s extremely hurtful to refer to someone who already told you that they use they/them pronouns with she/her or he/him, or use they/them to refer to a person who uses she/her.
Think about it like using a trans-person’s deadname: It’s rude, it’s harmful and it shows complete disrespect for the person.
Non-binary people have existed for a very long time. The concept isn’t new. The idea that there are only two genders, with every other identity being an aberration to the norm, is largely a western idea, spread through colonialism.
The Native American people use “Two-Spirit” to describe someone who identifies neither as a man nor a woman. The term itself is relatively new, but the concept of a third gender is deeply rooted in many Native American cultures.
(Author’s Note: If you are not Native American, please do not use it. That’s cultural appropriation.)
In India, the existence of a third gender has always been acknowledged and there are many terms specifically for people who don’t identify with the gender that was assigned to them at birth.
If you’re interested in learning more about non-binary history and non-binary identities around the world, I’d recommend visiting these websites:
https://nonbinary.wiki/wiki/History_of_nonbinary_gender
https://nonbinary.wiki/wiki/Gender-variant_identities_worldwide
https://thetempest.co/2020/02/01/history/the-history-of-nonbinary-genders-is-longer-than-you-think/
https://www.teenvogue.com/story/gender-variance-around-the-world
Also, maybe consider giving this book a try:
Nonbinary Gender Identities: History, Culture, Resources by Charlie Mcnabb
2. Non-binary Representation In Media
The representation of non-binary people in mainstream media hasn’t been... great, to put it mildly.
Representation, as we all know, is important.
Not only does it give minorities a chance to see themselves in media and feel heard and acknowledged. It also normalizes them.
For example, seeing a black Disney-princess was a huge deal for many black little girls, because they could finally say there was someone there who looked like them. They could see that being white wasn’t a necessity to be a Disney princess.
Seeing a canonically LGBT+ character in a children’s show teaches kids that love is love, no matter what gender you’re attracted to. At the same time, older LGBT+ viewers will see themselves validated and heard in a movie that features on-screen LGBT+ heroes.
There’s been some huge steps in the right direction in the last few years representation-wise.
Not only do we have more LGBT+ protagonists and characters in general, we’ve also begun to question and call out harmful or bigoted portrayals of the community in media, such as “Bury Your Gays” or the “Depraved Homosexual”.
With that being said: Let’s take a look at how Non-binary representation holds up in comparison, shall we?
This is Double Trouble, from the children’s show “She-Ra And The Princesses Of Power”.
They identify as non-binary and use they/them pronouns. They’re also a slimy, duplicitous lizard-person who can change their shape at will.
Um, yeah.
Thanks, but no thanks.
Did I mention they’re also the only non-binary character in the entire show? And that they’re working with a genocidal dictator in most of the episodes they’re in?
Yikes.
Let’s look at another example.
These three (in order of appearance) are Stevonnie, Smoky Quartz and Shep. Three characters appearing in the kid’s show “Steven Universe” and it’s epilogue series “Steven Universe: Future”.
All of them identify as non-binary and use they/them as pronouns.
Stevonnie and Smoky Quartz are the result of a boy and a girl being fused together through weird alien magic.
Shep is a regular human, but they only appeared in one episode. In an epilogue series that only hardcore fans actually watched.
Well, I mean...
One out of three isn’t that bad, right?
Maybe we should pick an example from a series for older viewers.
Say hello to Doppelganger, a non-binary superhuman who goes by they/them, from the Amazon-series “The Boys”.
They’re working for a corrupt superhero-agency and use their power of shape-shifting to trick people who pose a threat to said agency into having sex with them. And then blackmail those people with footage of said sex.
....
Do I even need to say it?
If you’ve paid attention during the listing of these examples, you might have noticed a theme.
Namely that characters canonically identifying as non-binary are either
supernatural in some way, shape or form,
barely have a presence in the piece of media they’re in,
both.
Blink-and-you-miss-it-manner of representation aside, the majority of these characters fall squarely under what we call “Othering”.
“Othering” describes the practice of portraying minorities as supernatural creatures or otherwise inhuman. Or to say it bluntly: As “The Other”.
“Othering” is a pretty heinous method. Not only does it portray minorities as inherently abnormal and “different in a bad way”. It also goes directly against what representation is actually for: Normalizing.
As a general rule of thumb: If your piece of media has humans in it, but the only representation of non-white, non-straight people are explicitly inhuman... yeah, that’s bad.
So is there absolutely no positive representation for us out there?
Not quite.
As rare as human non-binary characters in media are to find, they do exist.
Here we have Bloodhound! A non-binary human hunter who uses they/them pronouns, from the game “Apex Legends”.
It’s been confirmed by the devs and the voice actress that they’re non-binary.
Nice!
These are Frisk (bottom) and Chara (top) from the game “Undertale”. While their exact gender identity hasn’t been disclosed, they both canonically use they/them pronouns, so it’s somewhere on the non-binary spectrum.
Two human children who act as the protagonist (Frisk) and antagonist (Chara), depending on how you play the game. (Interpretations vary on the antagonist/protagonist-thing, to say the least.)
Cool!
......
And, yep, that’s it.
As my little demonstration here showed, non-binary representation in media is rare. Good non-binary representation is even rarer.
Which is why those small examples of genuinely good representation are so important to the Non-binary community!
It’s hard enough to have to prove you exist. It’s even harder to prove your existence is not abnormal or unnatural.
If you’d like to further educate yourself on representation, it’s impact on society and why it matters, perhaps take a second to read through these articles:
https://www.criticalhit.net/opinion/representation-media-matters/
https://www.pbs.org/newshour/arts/why-on-screen-representation-matters-according-to-these-teens
https://jperkel.github.io/sciwridiversity2020/
https://www.forbes.com/sites/quora/2019/05/22/why-is-equal-representation-in-media-important/?sh=25f2ccc92a84
https://www.theodysseyonline.com/why-representation-the-media-matters
3. So What’s The Problem?
The problem, as is the case with so many things in the world, is prejudice.
Actually, that’s not true.
There’s not a problem, there are multiple problems. And their names are prejudice, ignorance and bigotry.
Remember how I said human non-binary representation is rare?
Yeah, very often media-fans don’t help.
Let’s take for example, the aforementioned Frisk and Chara from “Undertale”.
Despite the game explicitly using they/them to refer to both characters multiple times, the majority of players somehow got it into their heads that Frisk’s and Chara’s gender was “up for interpretation”.
There is a huge amount of fan art straight-up misgendering both characters and portraying them as binary and using only he/him or she/her pronouns.
The most egregious examples are two massively popular fan-animated web shows: “Glitchtale”, by Camila Cuevas and “Underverse” by Jael Peñaloza.
Both series are very beloved by the Undertale-fanbase and even outside of it. Meaning for many people, those two shows might be their first introduction to “Undertale” and it’s two non-binary human characters.
Take a wild guess what both Camila and Jael did with Frisk and Chara.
Underverse, X-Tale IV:
(Transcript: “Frisk lied to me in the worst possible way... I... I will never forgive him.”)
Underverse, X-Tale V:
(Transcript: “I-It’s Chara... and it’s a BOY.”)
Glitchtale, My Promise:
(Transcript: (Referring to Frisk) “I’m not scared of an angry boy anymore.”)
Glitchtale, Game Over Part 1:
(Transcript: (Referring to Chara) “It’s ok little boy.”)
This... this isn’t okay.
Not only do both of these pieces of fan-art misgender two non-binary characters, the creators knew beforehand that Frisk and Chara use they/them-pronouns, but made the conscious choice to ignore that.
To be fair, in a video discussing “Underverse”, Jael said that only X-Tale Frisk and Chara, the characters you see in the Underverse-examples above, are male, while the characters Frisk and Chara from the main game remained non-binary and used they/them (time-stamp 10:34).
Still, that doesn’t erase the fact that Jael made up alternate versions of two non-binary characters specifically to turn them male. Or that, while addressing the issue, Jael was incredibly dismissive and even mocked the people who felt hurt by her turning two non-binary characters male. Jael also went on to make a fairly non-binary-phobic joke in the video, in which she equated gender identities beyond male and female to identifying as an object.
Jael (translated): “I don’t care if people say the original Frisk and Chara are male, female, helicopters, chairs, dogs or cats, buildings, clouds...”
That’s actually a very common joke among transphobes, if not to say the transphobe-joke:
“Oh, you identify as X? Well then I identify as an attack helicopter!”
If you’re trans, chances are you’ve heard this one, or a variation of it, a million times before.
I certainly have.
I didn’t laugh then and I’m not laughing now.
(Author’s note: I might be angry at both of them for what they did, but I do not, under any circumstances, support the harassment of creators. If you’re thinking about sending either Jael or Camila hate-mail - don’t. It won’t help.)
Jael’s reaction is sadly common in the Undertale fandom. Anyone speaking up against Chara’s and Frisk’s identity being erased is immediately bludgeoned with the “up for interpretation”-argument, despite that not once being the case in the game.
And even with people who do it right and portray Frisk and Chara as they/them, you’ll have dozens of commenters swarming the work with sentences among the lines of “Oh but I think Frisk is a boy/girl! And Chara is a girl/boy!”
By the way, this kind of thing only happens to Frisk and Chara.
Every other character in “Undertale” is referred to and portrayed with their proper pronouns of she/her or he/him.
But not the characters who go by they/them.
Their gender is “up for interpretation”.
Because obviously, their identity couldn’t possibly be canonically non-binary.
Sadly, Frisk and Chara are not alone in this.
Remember Bloodhound?
And how I said they’d been confirmed as non-binary and using they/them pronouns by both the creators and the voice actress?
It seems for many players, that too translated to “up for interpretation”.
(Transcript: “does it matter what they call him? He, her, it, they toaster oven, it doesn’t matter”)
(Transcript: “I’m like 90 % sure Bloodhound is a dude because he could just sound like a girl and by their age that I’m assuming looks around 10-12 because I’ve known many males who have sounded like a female when they were younger”)
(Transcript: “I don’t care it will always be a He. F*ck that non-binary bullsh*t.”)
(Transcript: “Bloodhound is clearly female.”)
(Transcript: “I’m not calling a video game character they/them”)
(Transcript: “exactly. The face was never fully shown neither was the gender so I’d say it means that the player is Bloodhound. So it’s your gender and you refer to “him” as yourself. It’s like a self insertion in my eyes.”)
So, let me get this straight:
If a character, even a player character, uses she/her or he/him, you can accept it, no questions asked.
But when a character uses they/them, suddenly their identity and gender are “up for interpretation”?
This attitude is also widely prevalent in real life.
Many languages only include pronouns for men and women, with no third option available. Non-binary people are often forced to make up their own terms, because their language doesn’t provide one.
Non-binary people often don’t fit within other people’s ideas of gender, so they get excluded altogether. Worse, non-binary people are often the victims of misgendering, denial of their identity or even straight-up violence when coming out.
People will often tell us that we look like a certain gender, so we should only use one set of gendered pronouns. Never mind that that’s not what we want. Never mind that that’s not who we are.
Non-binary people are also largely omitted from legal documentation and studies.
We cannot identify as non-binary at our workplace, because using they/them pronouns is considered “unprofessional”.
We don’t have our own bathrooms like men and women do. Our gender is seen as less valid than male and female, so even that basic thing is denied to us. I’ve had to use the women’s restroom my entire life, because if I go into a male restroom, I’ll be yelled at or made fun off or simply get told I took the wrong door. It’s extremely uncomfortable for me and I wish I didn’t have to do it.
And since non-binary people aren’t seen as “real transgender-people”, we often don’t receive the medical care we need. This often renders us unable to feel good within our bodies, because the treatment and help we get is wildly inadequate.
It’s especially horrible for intersex people (people who are born with sex characteristics that don’t fit solely into the male/female category) who are often forced to change their bodies to fit within the male/female gender binary.
And you better believe each of those problems is increased ten-fold for non-binary people of color.
We are ignored and dismissed as “confused”, because of who we are.
Representation is a way for Non-binary people to show the world they exist, that they’re here and that they too have stories to tell.
But how can we, when every character that represents us is either othered, barely there or gets taken away from us?
We are not “up for interpretation”.
Neither are the characters in media who share our identity.
And it’s time to stop pretending we ever were.
For more information about Non-Binary Erasure and how harmful it is, you can check out these articles:
https://everydayfeminism.com/2015/08/common-non-binary-erasure/
https://www.dailydot.com/irl/nonbinary-people-racism/
https://nonbinary.wiki/wiki/Nonbinary_erasure
https://traj.openlibhums.org/articles/10.16995/traj.422/
https://medium.com/an-injustice/everyday-acts-of-non-binary-erasure-49ee970654fb
https://medium.com/national-center-for-institutional-diversity/the-invisible-labor-of-liberating-non-binary-identities-in-higher-education-3f75315870ec
https://musingsofanacademicasexual.wordpress.com/2015/05/11/dear-sirmadam-a-commentary-on-non-binary-erasure/
4. How Do We Fix It?
Well, first things first: Stop acting like we don’t exist.
And kindly stop other people from doing it too.
We are a part of the LGBT+ community and we deserve to be acknowledged, no matter what our pronouns are.
Address non-binary people with the right pronouns. Don’t argue with them about their identity, don’t comment on how much you think they look like a boy or a girl. Just accept them and be respectful.
If a non-binary person tells you they have two sets of pronouns, for example he/him and they/them, don’t just use one set of pronouns. That can come off as disingenuous. Alternate between the pronouns, don’t leave one or the other out. It’ll probably be hard at first, but if you keep it up, you’ll get used to it pretty quickly.
If you’re witnessing someone harass a non-binary person over their identity, step in and help them.
And please, don’t partake in non-binary erasure in media fandoms.
Don’t misgender non-binary characters, don’t “speculate” on what you think their gender might be. You already know their gender and it’s non-binary. It costs exactly 0 $ to be a decent human being and accept that.
Support Non-Binary people by educating yourself about them and helping to normalize and integrate their identity.
In fact, here’s a list of petitions, organizations and articles who will help you do just that:
https://www.change.org/p/collegeboard-let-students-use-their-preferred-name-on-collegeboard-9abad81a-0fdf-435c-8fca-fe24a5df6cc7?source_location=topic_page
6 Ways to Support Your Non-Binary Child
7 Non-Negotiables for Supporting Trans & Non-Binary Students in Your Classroom
If Your Partner Just Came Out As Non-Binary, Here’s How To Support Them
How to Support Your Non-Binary Employees, Colleagues and Friends
Ko-fi page for the Nonbinary Wiki
The Sylvia Rivera Project, an organization who aims to give low-income and non-white transgender, intersex and non-binary people a voice
The Anti Violence Project “empowers lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and HIV-affected communities and allies to end all forms of violence through organizing and education, and supports survivors through counseling and advocacy."
The Trans Lifeline, a hotline for transgender people by transgender people
Tl:DR: Non-Binary representation is important. Non-Binary people still suffer from society at large not acknowledging our existence and forcing us to conform. Don’t be part of that problem by taking away what little representation we have. Educate yourself and do better instead. We deserve to be seen and heard.
#non-binary#agender#demigender#gender identity#essay#erasure#lgbt representation#misgendering#undertale#she ra spop#apex bloodhound#doppelganger#steven universe
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Moonlit Wishes - A Rayllum Fanfic
Hey everyone, long time no see! I've been on hiatus for a very long time, and it's very quite good for my mental health. Recently I binged The Dragon Prince on Netflix (highly recommend it) and decided to do as I do and write a fic for it.
This one in particular is inspired by @raayllum's amazing Hiatus Hoedown. This time I'm taking a crack at Day 1: Talking to the moon. Hope you guys enjoy it.
Here's a link to the Ao3 story, if you'd prefer to read it on there.
Description: Callum and Rayla discuss the differences in their cultures' way of wishing upon celestial bodies, fluff ensues.
Wordcount: 3386
----
Callum had always loved the moon, even as a child. It had always looked to him as a watchful eye, surveying the world beneath it. His mother would take him on nightly strolls along the castle to go see it, and she knew the secret passages to the highest towers without alerting the Crownsguard. She called them ‘their little adventures’. Of course, she was the Queen, so they did not really need to sneak around, but Callum found their nighttime wanderings something… magical.
They would stare up at the moon and tell each other about their days, sometimes sharing a jelly tart from the town baker until eventually, he’d fall asleep on her lap. He never did get to tell his mother how much those nights meant to him before it was too late. Nearly ten years later, that void in his heart still ached every time he looked up at that beautiful silver moon.
“What’ya thinking about?” came the voice of Rayla from behind him. He turned to see his girlfriend tilting her head at him.
“Nothing, just… thinking,” he said.
“Oh, that’s specific,” teased the elf.
Callum rolled his eyes and took her hand in his, four fingers against five. Her silver hair fell gracefully over her shoulders, a small braid poking its way through it on her left side. Her lilac eyes, bright and alert as ever, looked into his green ones, and a goofy grin spread across her lips.
“Just thinking about you… and how beautiful you are,” he said, trying his best at sounding smooth. It was partially downplayed by his voice cracking, but she giggled nonetheless.
“Shut up, you dummy.” She punched him playfully on the shoulder.
“C’mon, I wanna show you this place,” he said, gesturing behind him.
They were on the outskirts of the Katolian Capital’s forest, walking down a partially obscured path. Large, ancient trees stood like sentries on either side of them, their tops barely obscuring the silver rays of moonlight seeping through the branches, casting odd, elongated shadows over the packed dirt. Dead leaves and pine needles were strewn about haphazardly, almost deliberately to accentuate their footfalls.
Callum thought of the last time he came to this particular spot with his brother and step-father. It seemed an eternity ago that they’d played ‘I spy’ on this very path. Now, their father was dead and Ezran, newly crowned King of Katolis, had spent the first few months of his rule advocating for the union of the human kingdoms with the Xadian population, with Callum at his side. It had not been easy so far, as some wounds were still fresh in the other rulers’ minds, but Ezran had still not lost hope.
Rayla had been with them most of the time, trying her best to be an ambassador for the young king, though her status with the Moonshadow elves was still under review. Callum assured her that they would eventually be forced to lift her banishment, but some of the elder elves were… stubborn in their thinking. He just hoped they would listen to them when they arrived there next month.
After a few minutes of silent pacing, punctuated solely by their soft footsteps and the occasional chirping of crickets, they arrived at a large clearing. Just ahead of them, a small lake shimmered under the moonlight. The packed dirt on the path gave way to lush green grass, illuminated both by the starry sky and fireflies. The bank closest to them was filled with small boulders, eroded by millennia of contact with the eerily still waters.
Callum stepped back to let Rayla see the whole picture and grinned.
“So? What do you think?”
The elf glanced around the clearing with awe and wonder in her eyes. Callum did not fail to notice her disgruntled expression directed at the peaceful water.
“Don’t worry, we’re not going into the lake,” he assured her, chuckling when Rayla sighed dramatically.
“Thank the Moon,” she said, nodding. “If you had brought me to a nighttime swim, I would probably break up with you.”
“Duly noted.” He took her hand again and led her to one of the boulders, careful not to steer her too close to the water’s edge. “I just thought it would be fun to just… hang out here.”
They sat on the rock and spread out, stretching their legs slightly after a half-hour walk down the forest.
“It does seem peaceful,” she conceded, laying her head on his shoulder. “Been a while since we were able to do this.”
Callum sighed. “I know.” Between assisting his brother and Rayla’s constant trips to and from Xadia, they had not had much time to themselves as a couple. “I promise to make a little more time when you’re here.”
“At least it’s for a good cause, right?” said Rayla. “I mean, Ez needs all the help he can get. Plus, we’ve got a lot of time to… catch up once things settle down.” She looked up at him with a fond smile.
Callum thought of all the times, even before they got together, that they just sat on a patch of dirt or some rock, looking at the sky and wondering when their mission would be over; wondering if they’d ever see their homes again, or would live to tell the tale.
“I just want to know when that is. Even just an estimate would be nice,” he said half-heartedly, letting out a deep breath and leaning forward to place a caste kiss on her lips. “But this is worth the wait.”
“Look who’s all sappy all of a sudden,” she said with a grin and kissed him again. “I love you, dummy.”
“I love you, too.”
They sat there, enjoying each other’s presence for what felt like forever, but could only have been ten minutes. A soft breeze had picked up from the east, creating ripples on the otherwise still surface of the lake; distorting the reflection from the crescent moon above. He looked up once more, wondering if his mother was out there somewhere, overjoyed that her sons were following in her and Harrow’s footsteps.
Just as he scanned the sky for whatever signs she would send him, something incredible happened. Almost as if called upon by his thoughts, a shooting star streaked across the star-strewn sky, bright and beautiful. As fast as it had come, it vanished.
“Look, did you see that?” he exclaimed excitedly, pointing at the spot where it had just been.
“Uh, what am I looking at?” asked Rayla, confused.
“The shooting star, right there.” He closed his eyes and muttered under his breath. He could feel Rayla staring at him, and after a few seconds, opened his eyes to see her wide-eyed and thoroughly confused.
“Wha- What just happened?” she said, glancing between him and the sky.
“It’s a shooting star,” he said matter-of-factly. “When you see one, you make a wish. Don’t elves do that?”
“Wait, humans wish upon shooting stars?” she asked incredulously. “Why?”
Callum shrugged. “I don’t know, we just do. It’s a tradition or something.”
“Humans are weird.”
“Sure, what do you guys wish upon? The moon?” he said with a smirk, enjoying a little too much how pink her cheeks got.
Rayla scoffed. “As a matter of fact, we do,” she said, trying and failing to sound indignant.
“But the moon is there every night,” he said, glancing up at the sky and frowning. “That’s a lot of wishes.”
“We only wish on a New Moon, dummy,” she explained patiently.
“Why only the New Moon?” Callum asked, genuinely curious. It seemed logical enough that they wouldn’t wish on the moon every single night, but any insight into his girlfriend’s culture was something he did not take lightly.
“Well, the idea is that a New Moon signals the beginning of another cycle. The halfway point between two Full Moons, which is when we’re at our strongest. The Moon Arcanum supposedly… blesses us when we’re at our weakest.”
“Yeah, that makes sense,” Callum said pensively. “More sense than whatever humans came up for shooting stars, at least.”
“So… what did you wish for just now?”
“I can’t say.”
“Why? Is it embarrassing?” teased Rayla, poking him in the ribs. He chuckled but shook his head.
“No, because if I tell you, it won’t come true.”
“Well that’s no fun,” she said with a pout.
Callum shrugged and scooted closer to Rayla, taking her right hand in his and squeezing gently. They both sighed contently, almost as if they knew what the other was thinking; could sense the peacefulness and the stillness of the air around them.
“Tell you what, if it comes true, I’ll let you know,” he said, kissing the top of her head, careful to avoid her horns.
“Sounds good,” she said. “So what were you muttering before? I have good hearing but it barely sounded like words.”
“It’s like a little song you say before you make your wish?”
Rayla studied him curiously, nodding along as he spoke. She seemed to be thinking about something, debating with herself. She blinked once and looked into his eyes.
“Would you teach me?” she asked softly.
“You wanna make a wish?” he said. When she nodded, he sat up straight, facing her. He took her hands in his and grinned. “Repeat after me. Star bright, star light.”
She nodded and followed his instructions. She closed her eyes and sighed before saying, “Star bright, star light.”
“First star I see tonight.” He thought it might not count, as she had not done it before, but it was the thought that counted, right?
She repeated the phrase and her lips curved ever so slightly upwards.
“Wish I may, wish I might,” he continued
“Wish I may, wish I might.”
“Have the wish I wish tonight,” he concluded, opening his eyes and seeing her mouthing the end of the song, nodding almost solemnly. Her eyes fluttered slowly open and landed on him.
Callum heard the rustling of leaves above them, possibly from a squirrel scrutinizing them or a songbird perching on a branch. He thought of all the time they’d have as a couple, especially after their help was not as imperative in the running of Katolis, to just… be happy together. How long had he refrained from letting himself be truly content with his life? And now, being with Rayla, he couldn’t even imagine anything or anyone else for him.
He leaned forward and kissed her ever so gently. Her lips tasted of moonberries, and her violet eyes, almost glowing in the dark, closed as she melted into the kiss and he felt her hand on his scarf, not quite pulling him in but not pushing him either. When they broke apart, he was grinning.
“My wish did come true,” he said, cheekily.
“Mine too,” she replied.
-
Rayla’s footsteps were light and gentle on the soft ground; years of training to be an assassin still ingrained in her every move. Even eight years after meeting who she now knew was the love of her life, there still was a part of her that kind of missed those times when life was so… straightforward. Even so, as she looked back at Callum – now a few inches taller than he’d been when they met, and growing what could only be described as the faintest shadow of a beard – she knew in her bones that that little part of her was wrong.
He looked impressive with his fur overcoat, his immaculately woven violet undershirt (which he claimed matched her eyes) and his leather boots. He had opted not to wear his signature red scarf tonight, which she suspected was just so he could more prominently showcase his facial hair, which he was weirdly proud of.
Callum stood a little ways away from Rayla, looking up at the moon with closed eyes and a sort of… wistful expression on his face. Her mind instantly brought the memory of one of their first dates to this magical clearing in Katolis, where she’d taught him the strange human tradition of wishing upon shooting stars. Moon and Stars, Ethari had burst out laughing when she had told him. Humans were weird.
Now, her weird human was stoically standing with his hands on his hips. She cleared her throat, leaning against a nearby tree. Callum shook his head as though he hadn’t realized she was there, and grinned.
“Hey, sorry, did I space out?” he said.
“Yeah, it was daytime when you stopped there,” she replied, arching an eyebrow.
He snorted and held out his hand, which she gratefully took. “I’m sure it was less than a minute.”
They resumed their stroll down the familiar path, pine needles crunching merrily under Callum’s less graceful steps. She only rolled her eyes in response and lay her head on his shoulder, doing her very best not to impale him with one of her horns, which had also grown considerably as she reached adulthood. She knew humans had a rather short life expectancy; at least shorter than the oldest elves she knew back in Xadia, but at least their early years of development were more or less even.
She wondered in silence just how much of a difference their physiology would make down the road. Would she outlive him by decades? Would the rest of her human friends do the same…? She shook her head and pushed away those thoughts, choosing instead to bask in the moment; being here with Callum was all that mattered.
Eventually, the trees thinned, thick trunks giving way to mere shrubbery as the clearing they’d been seeking opened up in front of them. A beautiful, albeit terrifying lake, loomed ahead of them, its unnervingly calm waters barely rippling in the autumn breeze. She could see the reflection of the stars in it, flashing intermittently like little candles flickering in the night.
Wordlessly, Callum and Rayla kept following the path until they reached their favourite spot: a large boulder, far enough away from the shore that her skin didn’t prickle with anxiety every time a particularly strong current grazed the edges. Callum had attempted to help her through her fear multiple times, but the best he’d ever gotten her to do was get on a boat without getting extremely seasick.
It wasn’t as though sea travel was a major obstacle between the human kingdoms and Xadia. Most if not all the roads to and from her ancestral home were entirely land-based, so she hadn’t had to brave the murderous ocean ever since their stint with Captain Villads, which she still claimed was one of the worst experiences of her life.
“You alright?” she heard Callum say beside her, as they sat atop the boulder and looked out toward the lake. “You look a little pale.”
“Just a little… cold,” she lied, shrugging. It wasn’t a complete lie, of course. The breeze had picked up considerably in the last half hour they’d been walking, but she was pretty used to the cold when living in Katolis.
Ever the gentleman, Callum took off his overcoat and draped it over her shoulders, ignoring her protests. She grinned sheepishly at him and cuddled closer to him, the warmth of the coat enveloping her only slightly more than her closeness to him.
“Thanks,” she said, her voice soft. He moved around for a second before settling in against the rock and wrapping an arm around her.
“Anything for you,” he said. She felt her cheeks heat up, almost childishly. He had complimented her thousands of times over the years, but it still didn’t mean she was used to it.
“Y’know, there was an actual reason I brought us here tonight,” he added after a few minutes of silence.
“Oh?” she said, looking up at him curiously.
“Well, I just wanted to, uh, tell you how much I love you, and how much better you’ve made not only my life, but everyone’s,” he said, clearly fumbling for words, as though he had rehearsed this and did not want to get a single thing wrong. “You’re beautiful and kind, and strong, and…” he trailed off, looking down at her apologetically. “I’m very bad at this.”
She chuckled and sat up straight, facing him as she had all those years ago under a crescent moon. “No, go on,” she said. “I like when you get all flustered.”
“Oh, then this should be a joyride for you,” he said, assuming her same posture. “I just… wanted to show you just how much I love you. Ever since you tried to kill me that night…” He looked at her with a smirk, and it was her turn to flush. “You changed my life, and I wouldn’t trade these last 8 years for the world. You make me feel whole, even in my worst days, or when I’m frustrated by a new spell, or a council meeting gone wrong. You’re always there for me. So…”
He turned slightly to the side and shoved his hand into his pocket, struggling against what she assumed were nerves. She was extremely curious as to where this was going, but her suspicions were rising. Eventually, he pulled out what seemed to be a rather small box. It was violet, like his undershirt and her eyes.
“Rayla,” Callum said, sucking in a breath and looking at her with those big green eyes of his sparkling in the starlight. He opened the small box and Rayla could finally see that it was a silver ring. It was adorned with two tiny amethysts, glinting brightly up at her, flanking what she recognized at once as a Moon Opal. Her breath caught in her throat, tears threatening to break surface with her eyes.
“Will you marry me?” she heard him say, almost hazily; as though in a dream.
She took several long looks at him, then back at the ring, then finally landed on his face, contorted with an awkwardness only Callum could pull off as cute instead of downright constipated. She let out a small laugh and nodded slowly, watching as his emerald green eyes widened, as though he couldn’t quite believe them.
“Yes,” she said softly. “Yes, I’ll marry you, you big dummy.” She launched herself at him and enveloped him in a rather strong hug, tears now flowing freely from her eyes, because who would even judge her for it? After a few seconds – or it might have been an hour – or several moonlit nights – they broke apart. She kissed him deeply and he grabbed the ring from the box, taking her left hand with his own.
“Uh…” he hesitated, looking from her hand to her face. “Which hand do elves wear wedding rings on?”
Rayla couldn’t help but giggle. In any other circumstance, she would have rolled her eyes and playfully punched him in the shoulder. This time, however, she just shrugged. “This one.” She pointed to her fourth finger, smiling.
A little more confidently, he took her hand and gingerly placed the ring on it. She heard him breathe a sigh of relief and chuckled.
“You were really nervous, weren’t ya?” she teased, admiring the ring on her hand. “You knew I was gonna say yes regardless, so why worry?”
“I did, but it still doesn’t make it any less nerve-wracking,” he said, shrugging. “You like it?”
“I love it, it’s beautiful,” she said, leaning in to kiss him again.
They lay back against the boulder, looking up at the sky, their hands clasped and breathing deep. The New Moon stood sentry in the sky, grey and muted against the starry night, yet oddly imposing. She could feel the pull of it in her bones; the characteristic surge of energy that nighttime gave her kind. She pondered this as a thought occurred to her.
“Was that what you were doing before?” she asked tentatively, glancing up at her boyfriend. No, not her boyfriend… her fiancé.
“Yeah, I remembered that time you showed me how you guys wish on the New Moon,” he explained, laying his head on the top of hers. “I guess I wanted to be extra lucky tonight.”
“You’re a dork,” she said, matter-of-factly.
“But I’m your dork,” he retorted.
Yes, he was her dork, and she was his. Forever.
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⸙ ˚₊ ➷ THE MIYA TWINS & BOKUTO KOUTARO AS YOUR OLDER BROTHERS ! ❞
╰─ ─ ﾟheadcanons of the best twins & ace of my heart being your older brothers.
✐ . . . BIG BROTHER HEADCANONS.
[ OIKAWA TOORU & KAGEYAMA TOBIO VERSION. ] [ SUNA RINTAROU & KITA SHINSUKE VERSION. ]
-ˏˋ ➶ character(s) ━ bokuto koutaro, miya atsumu & miya osamu <3
[ trigger warnings ━ slight manga spoilers !! ]
-ˏˋ ✉️ REQUESTS ARE ALWAYS OPEN.
⇣ please read the RULES before requesting.
MIYA TWINS.
➜ oh my goodness, i pray so hard and dearly for your parents because y'all are WILD WILD
➜ when you guys were young, you know those videos of twins confusing their baby on who's their parent??
➜ yeah THESE TWO TRIED IT WITH YOU
➜ it was probably atsumu's dumb idea
➜ he watched it a few days ago in youtube
➜ so he suggested it to osamu which begrudgingly accepted, curious on how you would react
“ c'mon, come to big brother 'samu ”
➜ atsumu says as he stretches his arms out to you while you're oblivious poor innocent ass was doing the grabby hands to him
➜ ngl you looked so cute he felt a little guilty for what's to come
➜ while osamu sits next to him with a monotonous expression
“ no, i'm big brother 'samu ”
➜ your head spun to his direction
➜ and you're just like 👁👄👁
➜ while switching left and right in confusion as you dropped your arms down so fucking fast LMAO
➜ while atsumu was trying so hard, really he promised he won't laugh so soon, that osamu keeps pestering him to shut his bitch as up
➜ until the faintest of sobs were heard, forcing their mini argument to a halt
“ will you stay quiet ─ ”
“ ─ oh no no no, please don't cry ”
➜ osamu is in distraught because he actually doesn't know how to take care of a child crying
➜ while astumu is trying to carry you
“ hngg i ─ hic ─ want big brother 'samu ─ hic ! ”
➜ bitch almost wanted to drop you right then and there honestly
➜ he's like ??? DOES THIS BITCH EVEN KNOW I EXIST EYE??
➜ and when osamu heard you calling out to him, something in him snapped
“ i knew this was a bad idea ─ ”
➜ as he shoved atsumu off of you, hugging you as he tries to coo you, whispering “ shh . . don't ya worry, yer big brother 'samu is here ”
➜ this MANS OHMYGOD
➜ your cries seemed to have ceased as atsumu is standing there like ??
➜ i'm thEIR BROTHER TOO !!
➜ bb boy held a grudge on you for a few weeks ngl
➜ but then you grew up and now you know that you actually have two (2) big bro 'samu
➜ but more annoying & bitchy
➜ you're their favourite victim to bully
➜ well, atsumu
➜ but they won't let their teasing lead to you crying because they actually can't stand the sight of their younger sibling crying
➜ contrary to popular belief, when you realized there was another big bro 'samu, you were now attached to atsumu while he's similing smugly and triumphly at osamu
➜ atsumu would 100% be very competitive for your attention though he makes you hate him whenever he bullies you
➜ but we all know osamu hates losing
➜ so there was definitely a time of your life that their fighting over who was the best big brother
➜ ugh y'all cute cute
➜ while you're helping osamu around the kitchen, atsumu would just watch from the side lines because the kitchen is kinda yours and osamu's thing
➜ though while in his earlier years, he'd get upset because he wants you to hang out with him too :(
➜ while you have the cooking thing with osamu, you have the baking thing with atsumu
➜ shh hear me out
➜ osamu is actually not good at baking shit
➜ the first time he attempted baking was when you joined a baking club & now you're obsessed with making cupcakes and all that good good
➜ and he wanted to also try and back
➜ and how and what did he do to make your cupcakes look like dog shit was beyond you
➜ and while smelling something burning, atsumu ran to the kitchen and after realizing what osamu did
➜ he'd try and make your next batch of cupcakes presentable
➜ because he's?? actually?? good at it??
➜ and now you guys have your baking sessions and brother 'tsumu bonding time
➜ but even though you guys have other things with the other person, you guys LOVED doing chores together
➜ like, your guys' mom would make the boys clean the bathroom and before you knew it, LIKE YOU WENT THERE JUST TO TALK TO THEM WHILE THEY CLEAN, you find yourself cleaning the toilet necause atsumu ain't doing that shit
➜ washing dishes?? that as well
➜ you and atsumu would be the ones washing while osmu would do the drying
➜ 11/10 of the time would leave you guys a damped mess
➜ while cleaning the kitchen, i absoloutely headcanon, like STRONGLY
➜ that you guys would just talk either about random shit, talk shit about someone honestly, or quote reality tv shows
➜ like one thing you would be sweeping the kitchen floor, and while sweeping, you accidentally hit the trash bin hard that the contents flew out of it as it fell down the floor
➜ and atsumu's like : “ pooja what is this behaviour?? ”
➜ then something clicked in you that made you remember that one show bigg boss something
➜ and you'd be like : “ i'm sorry i kicked it ny mistake ”
➜ osamu would roll his eyes before joining you two : “ you can't kick it by mistake ”
➜ “ then pick it up if it bothers you ”
➜ ugh y'all aRE ICONS
➜ y'all would be at the pool and atsumu would shout “ oh no my diamond earing is gone ”
➜ and osamu would reply “ kim, there's people that are dying. ”
➜ you'll be their biggest fan in the court
➜ whenever they play with you on the sidelines something in them just snapped and they'll be scoring points by points in a row
➜ they lowkey love to show off
➜ if you're a girl, every fangirl of they have would be wary of you at first, but then realized that you were just their little sister
➜ and to their bisexual fans, they would ngl have a huge ass crush on you too
➜ and if you're a boy as well, oH MY GOD WOULD THEY HAVE FALLEN AMD CAN'T GET UP
➜ LIKE BITCH THE MIYA GENES ARE THRIVING IN THE THREE OF YOU
➜ you bet they'd be throwing hands if someone decided to break your heart
➜ though, osamu would be the more rational one
➜ if they ever meet your s/o, atsumu would want to rile them up while osamu is just being calm but the scarier one of the two?? but he knows you don't need any protecting because you know how to do it yourself & you don't have any need for that
➜ 12/10 would recommend as brothers
➜ in conclusion, you guys may not always get along, but you know damn well they care about you and would apologize right away if they did something too far. and you guys are such good sibling goals😤
BOKUTO KOUTARO.
➜ definitely know how to deal with his emo mode
➜ since you guys grew up together
➜ and sadly, you didn't have an akaashi to help you out with it while you were young
➜ like he'd be the older brother but you would probably be the more mature one
➜ but while you guys were young, he was your knight & shinning armor
➜ like when you scraped your knee while trying to catch him, he'll do a 180° and bitch has never ran faster to you than that time
➜ & if you were crying because of it, he'll make stupid jokes but it'll always make you forget about the pain in your knee
➜ and it's one of those times that you could really see that he was actually older than you
➜ then he'll piggyback you back to your house
➜ homeboy be reliable even while he was young wow
➜ and even 'till now
➜ if you ever got sick or injured
➜ or god forbid, HEARBROKEN by someone
➜ a bitch will throw hands
➜ but before that he'll make you laugh & do his best to take your mind off whatever is causing you to hurt
➜ ngl you would always look up to him, even if he may seem childish
➜ he'll hang out with you the rest of the day, he doesn't care if it's a school day, he'll drag akaashi with him
➜ my boy here GIVES THE BEST ADVICES
➜ though he may reword them differently, but his advices never seemed to fail you
➜ fights don't usually happen, and if they do they're probably serious
➜ he's the type of brother that lets you sneak out the house
➜ he'll usually back you up in everything
➜ and this bitch would take the fall for your faults
➜ ugh WE STAN
➜ but also if you sneak out the house to your significant other, bb boy has to know their number, address, occupation etc.
➜ because he ain't having a broken hearted sibling
➜ and he just wants the best for you
➜ and in the future, though he may be busy with being a professional volleyball player;
➜ he'll always have time for you
➜ he'll cLEAR OUT HIS SCHEDULE JUST FOR YOU
➜ you're that urgent to him
➜ your his first best friend before volleyball
➜ speaking of volleyball, if you aren't found in the stands in his matches ─ he'll go TO EMO MODE Y'ALL
➜ because you're usually always there in his games and it makes him give all his 120%
➜ since he's usually busy, he'll ALWAYS have those covey sisters movie nights
➜ if ykyk
➜ he's a sucker for family bonding time ogey
➜ the type to binge watch all the hsm movies & know all the lyrics to all the songs
➜ the type to defend sharpay with all his might
➜ and you guessed it right
➜ sharpay is his favourite character
➜ no one tell me otherwise
➜ THE TYPE TO DUET SONGS WITH YOU
➜ HIS FAVOURITE?
➜ EVERY SHARPAY & RYAN SONGS
➜ HE'LL BE SHARPAY AND YOU'LL BE RYAN
➜ AND THAT'S ON BOP TO THE TOP
➜ hates horror movies
➜ so if you ever watch it with him, he won't leave your side for the rest of the night & will have a sleepover on the living room
➜ f o r t s
➜ loves doing ridiculous challanges
➜ your phone would be BOMBARDED with crackhead videos of him
➜ probably broke a bone or two ngl
➜ 100/10 would recommend as a brother
➜ in conclusion, he may not always be there, and would be a bit childish & needy at times; but you know that he would step up as a big brother for you ANYDAY, ANYNIGHT, ANYTIME. because how could he want the best for you when he's not being his best on his part?
-ˏˋ playing soleil's tape ˊˎ-
[ 📼 ] . . . tumblr won't let this post show on the tags now i have to repost them all over again phew chile. watch me throw hands😤
#haikyuu social media au#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu imagines#miya atsumu x reader#miya osamu x reader#bokuto koutaro x reader#haikyuu masterlist#haikyuu smau#oikawa tooru smau#miya atsumu smau#hq imagines#haikyuu drabbles#haikyuu x reader#hq x reader#miya atsumu headcanons#miya osamu headcanons#bokuto koutaro headcanons
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Whumping Safely 101
Many people in this community have mental health problems, face various types of discrimination, and have complicated relationships with some parts or types of whump. In particular, I aim this at people who care about the experience of survivors and others with triggers – partially because I am an abuse survivor who often flirts with triggering content as part of my love of whump.
Keeping your blog safe is difficult, takes effort, and is never a perfect process. But as the community grows and grows, it’s really important that we hold ourselves to a high standard. I would argue that this is a responsibility of all content creators, but especially those of us in the messy playground of whump.
I’ve got three sections in here: content warnings, writing with care, and community interaction. I’ve tried to make it navigable. It’s about 1.8k words. Shorter than a lot of drabbles! I welcome good-faith criticism on this topic and further questions on my own views.
Content Warnings
The biggest responsibility, in my opinion, is empowering your reader to make their own decision on whether they want to expose themselves to your writing. This also happens to be by far the easiest way to help people whump safely.
What to warn
This is a big and ever-changing topic. Some things you should warn for as a rule of thumb are anything NSFW, pet whump and box boy whump, drugs and alcohol, medical and hospital content, graphic gore, intimate partner violence, and animal harm. It can be tricky to draw the line of what counts – what needs a warning? If you’re in doubt, just warn it anyway. It doesn’t hurt.
If someone requests a trigger be warned for, even if it’s something that feels obscure or tame, show compassion and agree to the request. This is someone who cares enough about being able to read your writing that they wrote in! They want to be able to read it and enjoy it. You’re being complimented.
Otherwise, look at what other blogs tag for. You’ll see some variation in styles and levels of detail, but it’s a good way to gauge what people think is warn-worthy, when we’re often writing stuff that would already be R-rated in mainstream media.
Read Mores
The easiest way to make sure people don’t see your triggering content is to use a cut. Tumblr is not a very functional website and likes to delete cuts, but a cursory check of your posted content will usually tell you whether it’s worked. With asks, cuts are very spotty, so don’t be afraid to post an ask response separately with a screengrab of the original question. People often then respond to the ask itself with a link to the post, especially if it’s a whole drabble. Tumblr is weird and bad so just do your best.
Content notices
I.e., a quick summary before the drabble, usually in bold, to state what will be coming. I like to distinguish between using content notes (CN) and trigger warnings (TW) to indicate severity. Others might use the old phrase ‘dead dove do not eat’ to indicate this is a heavy piece, and often you will see qualifiers like ‘intense’, ‘mild’, ‘mention’, ‘referenced’ (i.e. it is discussed but not actively happening), and ‘implied’ (as the opposite of ‘explicit’). I’ve also seen a couple of people use ‘vibes’, which is a really nice way of demonstrating that it’s there, but not the focus. A quick paragraph like this, or just a line, lets people make a quick risk assessment on their reading.
This is also important if you’re sending in asks or requests to people. If you want to ask about something triggering, send an inquiry first about whether the blog is okay to hear it.
Tagging
Tagging is a chore, but it’s your primary way of warning people about your content. The main benefit of tagging is that you can be as detailed as you want, because can be tagging for content in general, not just triggers.
In a best case scenario, you’d tag the kind of whump you’re doing, tag triggers, tag characters, and even your ‘verses, because tagging is your index for your blog. If you tag reliably, you help your future self and your readers find stuff, and you also make your blog really dang safe. People who have unusual triggers can blacklist tags, and will pick up on your content tags to help them.
Don’t just tag your own writing. Tag your reblogs, tag your prompts, tag your asks. Yes, edit your asks to add the tags. Tag your images and gifs. Tag your images as images and your gifs as gifs.
If you aren’t up for detailed tagging for whatever reason, just tag for triggering content, and add stuff to that list if you’re asked to. My usual technique is to make a mental note of tags while I’m formatting and editing before posting.
Be aware that your first five tags will be used in search results. If you’re using tags that are associated with kink too, such as ‘shibari’, you might want to rethink your tag order if you don’t want interaction from those blogs. Also think about what tags might come up in non-whump contexts, such as ‘collar’ or ‘PTSD’. Some tactics for getting around this I’ve seen are adding ‘whump’ after the content or writing the tags in past tense (i.e., ‘collared’).
It is also a good idea to watch out for when you might be reblogging something whumpy that is intended as kink / porn / fetish, especially in images. Tagging these as spicy / nsfw / kink is a sensible move.
Writing with Care
Okay, now for the harder stuff.
I mean here to lay out some guidelines for how to write in a way that helps your reader build good faith. This is a much more nuanced topic, and it’s different for everyone. There will always be differing opinions on what should and shouldn’t be written about, what a good depiction of a sensitive topic is, and how to discuss that topic. I tried to strip this back into absolute basics that I hope we can all agree on.
Maybe your whump involves abuse. Maybe it’s gaslighting. Maybe it’s severe mental health problems, or addiction, or slavery, or you write about or analogise real-world issues. Whump deals with the dark stuff, and that’s a big part of its appeal. But don’t ever forget you’re writing the dark stuff.
(Try to) Know what you’re doing
Some of us play fast and loose with plots, medical accuracy, worldbuilding, and other things that get in the way of the pain we crave. This is all well and good, but when we start using whump that speaks true to people’s lived experiences, we shouldn’t be careless with it. I’m particularly talking about things that get represented poorly in mainstream media, such as abusive relationships, issues around marginalisation, mental illness and disability.
Be critical of media that you’ve consumed. Think about how its depicted things that you want to depict in turn. Look for opinions on fictional representations of those issues. Be aware that you might be more ignorant of things than you realise.
Look at how others are writing these issues, particularly if they’re writing from a perspective different to yours. If you haven’t personally experienced what you’re writing about, e.g., if you don’t have PTSD and you want to depict a character who does, seek out stuff written from or with experience. Listen to the experts.
If you’re looking for stuff about representation specifically, I recommend this collection of posts about ‘Braving Diversity’ cultivated by Writing With Colour, who are in themselves a fantastic resource for this topic, and have recommendations for other blogs that deal with intersecting issues.
Listen to others
Missteps are inevitable. Nobody is perfect. If constructive criticism is offered, that’s also a compliment to your writing. Someone read your work and thought about it, and thought you’d care about improving it. They’re offering themselves as a resource for helping you see your work in a new light.
Criticism is hard and sometimes hurtful, but even if we don’t think it’s accurate, there’s often a grain of truth in it. If someone tells you that your writing is harmful, think about why they’ve said that, not whether or not they’re correct. This is an opinion! Opinions are subjective! But what drove someone to send that in?
You don’t have to respond to all your criticism and definitely don’t respond straight away. Being respectful to those who are trying to help you means taking the time to consider it properly. Sometimes, they don’t need a response. Others, you might want to learn more about what they think before deciding. You might have already discussed the topic, in which case, you might just want to reblog your previous posts.
If it’s sent in bad faith or is outright hateful, you’re well within your rights to just delete it and move on. You might get the same criticism over and over again, and that’s exhausting, and you don’t have to retrace your steps for everyone.
But if it’s new, even if it puts your hackles up, you can always stop and wonder why someone felt that strongly about your work.
Take a step back
One of my better-known characters is a pet whumper who conditioned his victim to adore and depend on him. It’s not always easy to represent how deeply messed up that is within the text – though I think that’s part of the challenge – but in meta-commentary, I am always describing him as a creeptastic bastard lacking compassion and self-reflection. I hope to always give the reader the confidence that I know just how wrong it is.
This is a really simple thing you can do just to give readers good faith in you. Show that you know what you’re writing is dark and messed up. Show your understanding for the issues you’re handling and that they’re complicated. It might seem self-evident, but when you’re writing the really dark stuff, or unhealthy relationships, or institutionalised whump, you can inadvertently create the impression that you just think it’s fun. The fact that it’s fiction does not automatically absolve you. Show that you care about doing it right.
Community Interaction
I’m going to keep this one short and sweet because I will almost entirely be preaching to the choir here.
Be polite to others. Imagine saying what you’re saying to their face.
Don’t send anon hate. Just don’t. If you can send criticism off anon, do so.
Nobody is obligated to interact with you.
Nobody is obligated to monitor their own reader base.
If someone says do not interact, do not interact.
If someone says do not interact, why they’ve said that is none of your business.
You don’t need to spread the word about someone’s bad politics.
Ask yourself if your input is needed, or if what you’ve said has already been said.
You don’t have to take a side.
Take care of yourself. Take breaks. Remind yourself that whump is a small part of the world.
That’s all from me, folks. Stay safe.
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Of Vices and Virtues
Chapter Six: Training Day
AN: Happy Black History Month! What better way to start this month than updating a black fanfic, which reminds me to say go support other black fanfic writers on Tumblr. And do yourself a favor and read up on figures other than MLK Jr. and Rosa Parks.
Trigger Warnings: none
Word Count: 3.0k
Taglist: @azayamari
Chapter Seven: Specialty
We were in the library, it was a huge room with an open interior, lined with walls of books and several nooks to sit and read in. Charles and Erik wanted to explore my empathic abilities further. I picked at the loose strand of my shirt remembering the disgust on my face about the plain attire I'm wearing. I lifted my head, my eyes meeting Erik's and we began to play a game, pointing out the ostentatious items in the room with our eyes. A bronze lion head. Awards from Charles' ancestors. Ridiculous looking portraits. An antique cigar box.
"Do you know the extent of your empathic abilities Claudia?" Charles asked curiously, sitting across from me in a sofa chair, ending our game.
I turned my attention to him, "No Charles, people do not volunteer to see the extent of my powers. Being able to manipulate emotions tends to unnerves people," I quipped, smiling.
"I'm surprised, I thought that's what you do regardless of how people feel," Erik stated, peering out the library window.
"Erik," I gasped mockingly, and put my hand on my chest as if I was offended. "Your lack of faith in me, wounds me," I finished jokingly.
Erik snickered before turning around and walking to where Charles and I were sitting, "What do you know that you can do?" he questioned, as he lowered himself into the chair next to Charles'.
"Sense, feel and understand emotions, feelings, hopes, dreams, desires, and fears of others," I listed simply, shrugging my shoulders. "I can create illusions also. So, as you can tell manipulation is my specialty," I answered, spreading my hands out in front of me.
"Do you mind if you show me?" Charles asked curiously.
"You're joking right?" I chuckled in disbelief, arching my brow at him. "When I get inside people's head like that, the illusion can seem so...vivid," I warned, sitting comfortably in my seat.
"I can take it," Charles assured, adjusting himself in his seat.
"Well, it's your funeral, Charles," I joked, as I closed my eyes and allowed myself to relax and shortly after he does the same.
I reopened my eyes and looked at Charles, as soon as his grip tightens on the armrest I knew the illusion was in full effect. I watched my illusion through Charles' mind. He had to blink a couple of times before realizing that his sister, Raven, was lying deadly still on the floor. A puddle of wine red blood was forming around her and all he could do was stare. He could even smell the metallic stench of her blood as the life left her body. He tried yelling, moving, even using his mind to call out to her, but it didn't work.
"Charles," I called, trying to rouse him from my illusion. "Are you alright?"
"Charles," Erik called, and firmly put his hand on Charles' shoulder which seemed to break him of the trance.
"Pardon me?" he asked confused as he shook off his daze, realizing he was back in his seat.
"Claudia was asking how do you feel?" Erik repeated what I had just asked.
I was intently staring at Charles to see if he was paralyzed in shock or fear. Or maybe both.
"Oh...well that was quite the...skill. It's both incredible and terrifying that the images were so-" Charles began.
"Real? Vivid? Seems impossible to have been fake," I offered softly.
Charles met my eyes and nodded softly as I began to pick apart his emotions. He had never felt so vulnerable and useless until my illusion and he hoped he never had to feel that again.
"Well now my curiosity piqued," Erik stated, smirking a little. "Your illusions, they're that powerful?" he questioned, looking at me intently.
A proud smirk appeared on my face and I leaned forward, "I could have the strongest man on Earth cowering in terror in a matter of seconds once I discover his greatest fear," I confessed, grinning widely. My eyes moved over to Charles, and found that he was already staring at me and looked to be in deep thought. He had a slight frown on his face and had been strangely quiet. "Charles, are you sure your alright?" I asked, concern lining my face.
"I'm fine really, I was just thinking, that's all," Charles explained, flashing a quick smile. "We've seen your capabilities with your empathic powers, how about your telekinesis?" Charles asked, placing his hands on his knees and pushing himself up from the chair.
A smiled beamed from my face once again, "Well, I'm glad you asked," I began, standing up from my own seat and clapping my hands together. "I'm going to need two mannequins for this demonstration," I instructed, before walking out of the library. "And come outside, it's too beautiful of a day to be stuffed up in the mansion," I called over my shoulder, as I left.
I opened the front door to the mansion and it was a lot warmer than it was this morning and I relished in the feeling of sunlight on my skin, small joys and all of that. The land around Charles's family home was even bigger than I thought. No matter which way I looked it seemed endless. I spotted a stone bench and I made my towards it, hearing the gravel crunch under my feet.
I sat down on the warm bench and closed my eyes basking in the warmth of the sun. The sound of footsteps behind me cause me to look over my shoulder to see Erik and Charles both carrying a mannequin. They both set them down from about twenty feet away from me and I stood up from the bench, shaking my arms out as I did to prepare them for what I was going to do.
Erik and Charles took their places beside me, I closed my eyes and concentrated until I felt a familiar sensation in my hands. I opened my eyes, my hands were surrounded by purple energy.
"And now boys," I began, lifting my hand up and one of the mannequin's floated off the ground, enveloped in a purple energy. "For my next trick," I continued, my eyes never leaving my target, with a pulse of telekinetic energy I crushed it my grip and it fell to the ground in a heap. I turned my sights on the second mannequin, this time lifting both my hands as the same purple energy encasing the limbs. I push my hands away from each other, ripping the mannequin apart and the limbs dropping to lawn. "Ta da," I sang, dropping my hands and glancing between Erik and Charles.
"That's incredible! Claudia, your control is amazing!" Charles commented happily.
"That all I can do for now, I'm a bit tired. But as you can see, I'm pretty adept with my telekinesis, and with your help..." I trailed off, looking between Charles and Erik.
"There's no telling how powerful you will become," Erik finishing my statement, with an excited grin.
"Why do you sound more excited than I am, Erik?" I questioned, with a smile.
Erik let out a short laugh before turning to face me, "Because with your abilities the possibilities are endless," he answered, a smirk on his lips.
~~~x~~~
"What are we doing in here?" I asked surveying my surroundings. The small, personal gym had the typical equipment you expected to find. At the front, were some weight benches with the bar resting above it. Behind the benches at the far end of the room held two punching bags, some sparring gear, and some free weights. "I've already did my fair share of lifting weights today," I complained, looking back at Erik.
After my awkward encounter with Raven and Hank I finally forced myself to work out. It hurt. A lot. To say my upper body strength needed improvement was an understatement.
Erik smirked, "We may have powers, but it's still very useful to know the art of hand to hand combat," he explained, as he placed a safety mat on the floor beckoning me over.
I nodded understanding why this was needed, attempting to improve my general hand to hand combat without the use of my powers would always be useful. There would be times when I possibly wouldn't be able rely on my abilities immediately and I would need to stall before being able to use my powers against an enemy.
"First thing you're going to learn is a basic punch," Erik began, grabbing my hand and balling it into a fist. "You not only need to know how to punch, but where to punch," he continued, lifting my fist to his forehead. "You aim too high, you'll hit their forehead which is the equivalent of hitting a brick wall," Erik explained, lowering my fist too his jaw. "Hit too low, you'll get their chin, also not recommended," he said, moving my fist to a higher place on his face. "The best place to punch is there nose or eyes that's where they'll be most vulnerable," Erik finished, releasing my fist.
"Where did you learn all this?" I asked curiously, letting my hand fall to my side.
"I was forced to teach myself how to fight, it was the only way I could survive..." he trailed off, with a faraway look before he suddenly lunged for me, tackling me to the ground being careful enough not to actually injure me.
"Hey! What the hell Erik!" I exclaimed, sitting up on my arms. "I wasn't ready!" I complained, before blowing a piece of hair out of my face.
"Rule number one, always be ready," Erik responded neutrally, but I could have sworn that the corner of his lips tugged upwards slightly into the hint of a smirk. "Did I mention places like the neck or the shin are also sensitive to impact. You should try it," he added cockily.
I glared at him, "You're such an asshole," I commented, as I got up and took a boxers stance.
Erik put his forearms up in front of his face and got into a defensive stance. I threw my first punch and I thought it was solid. I had a good arm on myself, apparently Erik felt otherwise.
"Come on Claudia, I've seen a sack of potato's hit harder!" he taunted obnoxiously. "Aren't you the same woman, who threatened to break a man's hand in seven different places," Erik reminded with mischievous eyes.
I quickly struck out at his neck hitting his jugular causing him to choke on his saliva, he lifted his hand to his throat, coughing hard as he rubbed it soothingly. I felt satisfied when he looked momentarily surprised at the force I'd used.
"Is that better?" I questioned mockingly, my lips curling upwards.
"That'll teach him for insulting and underestimating me," I thought.
Erik rubbed his throat one last time, "Claudia, that was not very ladylike," he finally commented, taking a while longer to reply.
"Lucky I'm a mutant then," I retorted, a smirk still on my face.
Immediately, I swung out my left hand attempting strike harder. I went to punch his abdomen, but he caught my hand and I drew back my foot kicking him in the shin. Erik caught a hold of both of my upper arms. My leg flew out to deliver another kick but he released my right arm just in time to catch my foot.
He tugged at my foot causing me to topple over onto the mat, he followed, dropping onto the mat into a position where he trapped my body with his own. I laid flat on my back on the mat staring up at Erik who had me pinned down with his legs that were on both sides of my thighs and his arms planted on the mat, level with my head. Staring up at him, I felt heat crawling up my neck and spreading to my cheeks as I became extremely self-aware of the position we were in.
And now being this close to Erik it made me realize that his mesmerizing irises actually had a bit of gray in them. Those stormy blue gray eyes stared down at me with such an intensity that a shiver ran up my spine. But yet I couldn't look away; his captivating gaze was somewhat beautiful, in a terrifying way. His eyes held mine much like the eyes of cat held those of a mouse. And like a mouse, I didn't move.
I felt the most peculiar sensation run through me, it felt as if my whole body was aflame. We stayed like that for half a second longer than necessary, stuck in our own world until the sound of Moira and Charles talking from afar brought us back into reality causing Erik to jump up and away from me before quickly pulling himself to his feet.
"Not bad for your first day," Erik began, clearing his throat as a way to clear the awkward tension that fell between us. Erik offered me his hand, I accepted his hand allowing him to help me upright. "But there's definitely numerous areas to improve on," Erik continued, shoving his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants, and momentarily avoided my eye contact. "You are nowhere near intimidating or threatening as you think you are," Erik jested, facing me again with a shit eating grin on his face.
"You're insufferable, Lehnsherr,"
~~~x~~~
I stood in the doorway, half in the library and half in the hall outside watching him. Charles was sitting before the fireplace, an old novel resting in his lap as he read. The sunset sunlight brightened the room from the window behind his chair, and the sound of the other mutants' conversation from the dining room could be heard from somewhere down the hall. It didn't look like he wasn't really paying attention to the words on the page in front of him, but rather skimmed the familiar text absentmindedly while his thoughts wandered elsewhere.
I rapped quietly on the door frame and Charles glanced up, closing the book at the same time. He gave me a small smile and I made my way into the room and sat next to him on the sofa, offering a smile in return.
"I must thank you for your help today Claudia," Charles stated, placing his book down next to him. "Not a good first day, the results we had got today have been less than spectacular, but your help was greatly appreciated,"
"Is that so?" I questioned, lifting my feet from the floor and onto Charles' lap. "I really didn't do much," I reminded, with my arm resting on the back of the sofa.
Charles looked down at my feet and then back up to look at me, a smile on his face from my action and I merely shrugged returning his grin. What can I say, those shoes made my feet hurt. Charles slowly removed my flats one at a time and placed them on the wooden floor with a light thud, his hands slowly massaging my feet and I flexed my toes out.
"Nonsense. You being there for moral support was a big help today. Especially with Alex," Charles explained, moving his thumbs up and the soles of my foot, which felt heavenly and I let my eyes flutter close. "And me," Charles added quietly.
My eyes widened slightly, "Really?" I began, tilting my head. "I would've never guess that from you Charles. You always seem so cool, calm, collected. Not to mention perfect," I stated smiling, just as Charles pressed circles above my heel and I tried not to let out the moan that was threatening to come out.
"Well, no one's perfect Claudia," Charles commented, massaging my left foot now. "My confidence was a bit shaken after Alex's training, but after hearing and listening to your reassuring words...you took away the fear that I have about failing these kids," Charles explained looking up at me, his face illuminated by his million dollar smile.
His hands moved upwards slowly running both thumbs over the center of the sole of my foot.
"Speaking of fear..." I trailed off and Charles brought his eyes back to mine. "I make you uncomfortable," It is not a question, it is a statement. It's ironic that I should make a telepath uncomfortable, since our powers are uncannily similar.
Charles' hands faltered over my foot, "That's absurd, Claudia," he lied, but I can feel it in him, the roiling discomfort, the wish to get away from someone who can take and see and judge his worst memories with just a glance in his eyes. "I merely wish to help you hone your empathy," he reasoned.
"Did I forget to mention I can tell when a person is lying," I mused, causing Charles' hands to falter again. "It wasn't my place, but I wanted to know how you were doing after my illusion," I disclosed, and his hands stopped moving. "I left you feeling vulnerable, and I feel awful about it. I feel awful that I make you uncomfortable and I'm sorry," I apologized, gazing at Charles momentarily before looking away and pushing a strand of hair behind my ear.
Charles pulled my legs, dragging me closer to him and I let out a yelp at the sudden movement. Turning my head to him I noticed our proximity to each other, we were intimately close.
"I will admit that your illusion earlier today unnerved me, but I'm not uncomfortable around you, just the opposite actually," Charles clarified, as he cupped my face. "I am the most comfortable when I am in your presence, Claudia," he confessed, before leaning down and pressing his warm lips to my forehead.
Chapter Eight: Fun & Games
#x-men fanfiction#black fanfiction#x-men fanfic#charles xavier fanfiction#charles xavier x oc#black!oc#magneto x oc#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#erik lehnsherr fanfiction#erik lehnsherr x oc#black!reader#x men fanfiction#marvel fanfiction#marvel fanfic#marvel imagine
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2020 fic recs!! [Part 1]
this idea was stolen from @iam93percentstardust cuz i just,,,thought that this year was absolute shit and it would be nice to make a fic rec list of fics from this year that helped me through it. this will be over a range of fandoms and ships, but all fics were written this year.
fics are ordered by the month they were published. ive tried to keep to five fics per month, but this is not obviously all the fics ive read that month - i just didn’t want to make this insanely long.
im releasing the first half of this on the 1st of December, and the second half on the 1st of January 2021 - because otherwise it would just get so long (and also so i will actually have fics for December)
happy reading!! hopefully you find fics on this you haven’t read yet
***
January
The cat is mighty dignified (until the dog comes by): @five-wow
Steve and Danny find them on the pillow in the corner of the dining area, where Eddie is on his side, ass half on the floor because the pillow is more cat-sized than lab-sized, and Pickles is nestled between Eddie’s front legs, essentially being spooned and looking very I-got-the-cream about it. Pickles’ head is tucked into the crook of Eddie’s neck and Eddie’s head slots perfectly on top of Mr. Pickles’, like a furry jigsaw puzzle.
“They’re cuddling,” Steve points out, unnecessarily.
Or: There is a love story unfolding under the McGarrett roof.
Captain ‘Socialist Rage Muffin’ America: @baffledkingcomposinghallelujah
It takes three months of dating Steve Rogers for Tony to understand why Aunt Peggy once shot at him in sheer frustration.
Alternately titled, Honey, I committed treason again.
The Best Laid Plans (Of Mice and Men): @arboreal-elm-ash-oak
His Dark Materials AU
It was Annalise who noticed their small visitor first.
“Tony,” the spider daemon said softly, skittering up the collar of his dress shirt, two of her eight legs resting delicately against his cheek, “Don’t startle them, but I believe we have a guest. Look, by the coffee table.”
Fourteen Million to One: @tunastorks
Six months after Thanos, six months after Tony’s death, six months after Steve returns to his own timeline, Tony Stark turns up on their doorstep.
Brewed Awakening: @iam93percentstardust
Two years after he comes out of the ice, Steve is drifting through life. On his teammate's recommendation, he decides to go back to school where he meets the grandson of an old friend. He finds happiness with Tony but Steve won't be in Boston forever and someone is out to hurt the Starks. Will Steve and Tony be able to reach their happily ever after?
February
the young, the reckless and the foolish: @bruciewayne
In most universes, they don't know each other, not in the slightest, or they hate each other, in a way that's perfectly logical for anyone who were to find themselves in a similar situation.
In this one, they've known each other since they were four years old and naively idealistic.
This is them over the years, against the odds.
a giant sign: @areiton
“Think you can get him to open the weapons division up again?” his CO asks, his voice hungry and Rhodey laughs because this--
“No. Tony hung up his weapons.”
“That’s not what the suit says,” his CO objects, and Rhodey shrugs.
Tony has always had rules, rules he expects the entire world to live by.
And then there was Rhodey, slipping under them.
my heart is driftwood, floating down your coast: @nethandrake
Tonight, there’s a stranger in his backseat. That’s not unusual.
He’s also sad. That’s not unusual either.
What is unusual is that the stranger is silent.
(One night, a stranger enters Steve's taxi. Nothing is the same again.)
Just A Cold: @/delighted
There’s a new text waiting for him. It’s from Steve of course, and it’s vaguely threatening as most messages from Steve are these days. Still Danny ignores it, and now he’s really playing with fire. Maybe it’ll burn the cold out of him.
Or, Danny’s sick, and Steve can’t stay away. The usual comfort fluff. With a little cameo from a gently meddling Grace.
An Unexpected Guide: @/Rachel500
Danny Williams has hidden his Guide status to keep being a detective, but his time of hiding is up when he unexpectedly finds his Sentinel, Steve McGarrett in the midst of a tragedy.
March
Why don’t we (Collide the spaces that divide us): @five-wow
When they finally catch sight of each other again through the milling crowds, they’re both a little worse for wear. Danny’s left side is covered in glitter and every time he brushes a hand over his hair, more blue and purple confetti rains down. Steve is- Well, Steve is randomly shirtless, which is all things considered not excessively remarkable, but he’s also covered in smudges of colorful paint and has a very nicely printed bloodred lipstick kiss mark on his cheek.
“What did you do?” Danny asks, because it looks like Steve had a lot more fun than he did.
Or: Steve and Danny accidentally end up in the middle of something entirely new.
A Little Unsteady: @finduilasclln
Written for the Tumblr prompt meme : "Hey! I was gonna eat that!"
Tony lashes out at Bucky for eating his dessert. Only, it really isn't about the dessert.
a national treasure: @starklysteve
Steve isn't looking for an apple and Tony decides his passion is to inspire young souls.
-x-
OR: the AU where Tony is a Youtuber and Steve is Captain America and somehow they still save the world together.
April
cycle through: @ambivalentmarvel
Twenty-five years ago, Tony Stark disappeared from his family home a month after the tragic deaths of his parents, Howard and Maria Stark, leaving a billion-dollar tech conglomerate without an heir and the world wondering what happened.
Twenty-three years ago, HYDRA gained another super soldier.
Ten years ago, Peter Parker’s parents died in what is ruled as a home invasion gone wrong but he knows was murder, plain and simple, because he spoke to the killer.
And in the present, Project Insight fails, and the Iron Soldier pays the price.
FOREVER-LOVE YOU-I: @/Eudoxia
Tony Stark is twenty-one when he loses his voice. It shouldn't matter, but in a world where the first words your Soulmate says to you are marked on your skin, it can be pretty damn annoying.
Especially for Tony's soulmate.
--
Companion piece to my fic Thumb, Index, and Pinky Extended. This is Steve's POV, with a few extra scenes, as a treat.
(Edit: Sorry if you guys get multiple notifications for this. I just realized (about two hours after posting it) that I fucked up the grammar in the title and I HAD to fix it. YOLO, I guess.)
come build a home out of me: @maguna-stxrk
Steve clears his throat.
“What if I went with you?” he asks nonchalantly, like his heart isn’t threatening to beat out of his ribcage.
Tony blinks a few times, looking at Steve, his mouth ajar. “As a— As my date?”
“Yeah.” Steve nods, feeling a little breathless.
“You don’t mind?” Tony furrows his eyebrows.
“I don’t. In fact, you can just tell them I’m your boyfriend. I’m sure they’ll back off, wouldn’t they?”
What.
“I— Huh?” Tony stares at him, brown eyes blown wide open.
What. What. What.
“Huh? Uh, I mean— You know, that way people will see that you have definitely moved on. Monica will see that you have moved on. Right?” Steve smiles, hoping that it masks his inner panic, because what?
Steve Rogers, what have you done?
i don’t have a choice (but i’d still choose you): @nethandrake
There’s a name inked onto his chest, a name written in an all-too familiar scrawl. And it’s— It’s—
Steve doesn’t realize his body is quaking until he’s tracing the tattoo with a shaky finger.
Because of course that is the name etched into the skin. Like a brand, a reminder for everything he has done. An appropriate retribution.
Anthony Edward Stark.
(When Thanos snaps half of the universe away, he unknowingly leaves the other half with soulmarks.)
ua haʻalele ʻoe iaʻu (a ua hoʻomālamalama ʻoe iaʻu): @just-fandomthings
"The truth is, I was shot in the chest and nearly died, and not even three days after I was released from the hospital, you up and left-- and of those two, I'm not sure which one hurt me worse!"
(Coda to 10x22 because come on, we all need a better ending than the one given to us.)
Title loosely translates to: "You left me in the dark (you lit me up)" -- inspired by the brilliant song "Say You Won't Let Go" by James Arthur
May
A Piece Of The Past: @hddnone
It had been so many years since Bucky had gone undercover in the Stark family's mob, he thought he'd gotten away clean.
Then Tony Stark slid into the seat across from him at his breakfast diner, and Bucky's boss has a new case for him.
the privilege of loving you: @starklysteve
“Why won’t you let me touch you?”
It’s a desperate plea, half-shouted and half-whispered, Steve’s voice cracking at the end. Tony stops in his tracks, halfway to the stairs. He doesn’t dare to turn back, and he really doesn’t want to fight, or to leave, to spend the last month of his life away from his husband and their son. But Steve can’t know, can he?
-x-
Or: Tony has palladium poisoning, but he doesn't tell Steve and Peter
your pillow feels so soft now (but still you must advance): @firebrands
When Bruce is 13, he decides to go to boarding school. It's an opportunity for him to learn about other people, and how to interact with them.
Bruce has the misfortune of meeting Tony Stark upon his arrival in Roxbury. Bruce is moving into his room, and Tony opens the door of his room to watch. He looks a bit younger than Bruce, hair wild and eyes bright. Bruce has never seen a boy like him before—handsome and confident.
Bruce doesn’t like it.
IMPORTANT: This fic has them meeting at 14, then progresses slowly until they’re 17. Includes underage drinking and kissing.
This is set before Bruce becomes Batman and Tony becomes Iron Man and I have no explanation as to how or why they just DO
Canonically, Bruce is 17 when he finishes school and goes around the world to train, so we're sticking with that
The Real MVP: @sword-and-stars (part of a series)
[“I have saved this Tuesday!” Sokka announces, rattling the bag upon reentry.
Zuko doesn’t even look up from his phone as he deadpans, “It’s Thursday.”
Okay, so Sokka is still having trouble getting his days right without checking. At least he’s gone back to sleeping at night! Going to bed at night is way easier when you have a cute, cuddly boyfriend who starts falling asleep around eleven o’clock. It also helps that he and Zuko are on solid gold butt-touching terms.
It’s been a while since Sokka has been on butt-touching terms with someone and it’s amazing.]
Or,
Sokka knows a guy, gets laid, and introduces Zuko to the merits of an afternoon delight.
When is a bed not a bed? (When you’re not in it): @riotwritesthings
There’s a tiny safe house, with one tiny window and one tiny couch.
And one tiny little bed.
June
Nice Fingers: @anthonyed
A single compliment given by Tony stirs Bucky restless until he caves in and asks him out on a date.
With Steve’s help of course (whether he likes it or not).
The Darkest Touch: @starkrogerrs
This is the story of how Steve finds that it has been ordained that he is to marry a monster he cannot resist aka the God of Love himself, Tony.
It's Cupid x Psyche retold, but with thrice the amount of porn.
The Night Shift: @weethreequarter
Welcome to the Emergency Department of San Antonio General where Dr. Tony Stark joins the team fresh from his most recent tour in Afghanistan and - much to the consternation of the other staff - strikes up an instant rapport with Nurse Steve Rogers. Meanwhile, new resident Bruce Banner refuses to give up on his patient, and Dr. Sharon Carter learns something from her own patients. Throw in a pissed off hospital administrator, Clint using the coffee pot as a mug again, and a major car crash and you have, well, just another night shift.
Wind Beneath My Wings: @iam93percentstardust
Sam first meets Tony Stark in 2005 when he joins the EXO-7 Falcon program.
In jest: @/apathyinreverie
“No, babe,” Danny shakes his head with a grin. “If the apocalypse were to go down while I’m elsewhere for some godforsaken reason, then you stay put and I’m coming to wherever you are.” His grin widens. “And I expect you to have cleared any aliens or zombies or whatever else might be messing with us off the island and to have set up a nice, comfortable military dictatorship for us to rule over by the time I get back.”
It’s a joke.
Of course it’s a joke.
Until it isn’t.
(A the-day-after-tomorrow-style apocalypse AU, where the world decides to end right when Danny is visiting one of the other islands with Grace. Because, of course, it does.)
#adi's rec list#mcdanno#stevetony#buckytony#brucetony#rhodeytony#zukka#samtony#january - june#there's so many different ships on this#and different authors#and it spans three fandoms#so hopefully you guys enjoy this!!
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Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.
Interview with Circe Invidiosa
Circe Invidiosa has 11 stories at Gossamer, but there are even more X-Files stories at her website. Some of my favs I’ve recced here before, like Make It Worse and Slap a Goatee On Me and Call Me Evil. She also made a bunch of X-Files collage art, including some cover art for fics (hers and others), which you probably saw if you were reading fic back when authors posted fics on their own websites where art could be shared. Big thanks to Circe Invidiosa for doing this interview.
Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?
Well, it would surprise me if people did read my fic. As it happens, I don't hear much feedback from my fic these days. Probably because the bulk of it is on Gossamer and my own site rather than AO3. Also, I was never a BNA. I worked a lot behind the scenes – hosting other authors' sites and making fanart and dustjackets. I think that's what I'd be remembered for, if anything.
What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience?
I miss the collective excitement and discussions we had as groups. When you got in with a group in the XF fandom, you felt like you knew everybody there. Now the fandom feels a little faceless except for the people I still follow from my old groups.
Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?
Most of my experience was on Yahoo Groups. I joined Scullyfic while it was still there and then E-muse when it became an e-mail list, which I'm still a part of. I was part of several Yahoo Groups (can't remember all of them now), where I'd post my fic, RealPlayer slideshows (remember those?!), and collages. I never really took part in discourse because I'm shy and don't think anyone cares about my opinions (still don't!). The e-mail address I used for those groups was purged a couple of years ago, so I've lost all those messages.
What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?
My take away is that fanfic made me a better writer, thanks to having some great betas, and it made me a better professional writer for it (my real-life work is writing but not fun writing) because I learned to take criticism.
I also used to make a lot of fanart, collages and dustjackets for fic mostly. My big take away from that was that I really got into graphics and I got super proficient at Photoshop, which helped my own artistic endeavours and photography. I didn't realize how much skill I had developed until I've had to help someone with their graphics or photo editing.
What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?
My mother was watching X-Files before I was and she was raving about it. I don't have a great relationship with my mom, but one thing she was usually right about was TV shows. It's where I got my love of Sci-Fi.
I think the first episode I watched was Ice, which definitely hooked me. As for when the shipping started, I remember we were watching Lazarus, and when Mulder was yelling at Lula (I had to look that up) about hurting the hostage Scully, my mom said, "Oh, he's so in love with her." And I was all, "What?! Pfff." But then I could not stop thinking about it. And then I thought about it way, way too much.
What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?
I was in my late 20s, and it was around the end of S7 and I kept thinking about what if these two dumb idiots actually talked one day. And I kept thinking about dialogue in my head about what they'd actually say. The internet was still in its infancy back then, but I'd seen fan sites here and there. So I decided to search around to see if other people were talking about it and thinking about it like I was. I was such a noob I'd never even heard of fanfic. Imagine my delight when I discovered it. I found a few stories and thought, 'Well, I can do that.' And I wrote up my first story, found a place to post it (wasn't Ephemeral the best?), got some kind feedback, found a really nice person (not sure she wants to be named since she used her real name in the fandom back in the day) who encouraged me a lot and directed me to all the e-mail lists and Yahoo Groups that I needed to be on, and then, Bob's your uncle, I wrote more and more.
What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?
Periphery. Most of my experience in any fandom is now on Tumblr because that's where my attention span is. Show me pretty pictures and funny stuff. I am old now and don't want to think hard.
Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?
Veronica Mars was my next fandom experience. A number of my XF friends got me hooked on VM. The VM fandom was a LOT younger compared to the XF fandom. When I joined the XF fandom, I was the kid compared to most of the other fans who were all goddesses and royalty in my eyes. But in the VM fandom, I was in my 30s and the rest of the fandom were all in their early 20s if not younger. It often showed, so I stayed out of discussions and just posted my fic once I started writing it. I took a new handle (invida) when I started writing VM fic. Just in case these kids felt like my writing sucked, I didn't want it getting back to the XF fandom that I’d branched out and failed spectacularly.
By then fandom experiences had moved over to LiveJournal. I never really got involved in the discourse or the fandom fights. I knew what people were saying and where the schisms were, but I was all about the fanfic and the pretty pictures. Most of my LJ friends just discussed the episodes and posted their fic and that was good with me.
What got me writing fic for VM was Anjou's brilliant VM fic Into the Blue. Seriously, if you love VM S1, read her fic. Just so beautiful.
VM was also where started writing a WIP, which was a wild trip. I wrote a much-loved WIP called Damn, Damn the Circumstance which people still ask me about finishing to this day. Someday…*wistful sighs*
Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?
Scully. She was everything! Lapsed Catholic, degrees in science, skeptic, always trying to work within the rules but still not taking crap. Yeah, she was the best.
Veronica Mars was great until she wasn't. I have a lot of issues with her beyond S2. And don't even talk to me about S4. For me, S1 was the best, I enjoyed the movie, the books were okay, but nothing else happened after that. NOTHING.
And the first character I ever loved was Princess Leia. She was also everything to me growing up. I wanted to be her. I still do.
Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?
Now and then. Not as much as I used to. I sometimes have it on in the background when I'm doing other things. Back before the pandemic, my BFF and I would have get togethers where we would play Scrabble, eat a lot of candy, and binge several XF episodes. I miss doing that. Hopefully, we will get back to that soon.
Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?
I am not an active XF fanfic reader right now. I will read any stories my friends put out. Otherwise, I only occasionally read some I come across on Tumblr in my feed, but I am not seeking them out. I will beta for any XF author who asks me as well.
I am reading fic in other fandoms though – Endeavour, Broadchurch, Sherlock…huh, I'm just realizing that's a lot of British stuff. I have been really into British detective series for the last few years.
Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?
I used to run an XF fic recommendation site called How Will It End usually with at least one other person (I went through at least 4 partners on that project because I'm a control freak). We'd compile our recs and then I'd post them on my site. We'd also feature authors we really liked and interview them. Not unlike these interviews!
I'm terrible at giving feedback/comments. So I solved that problem by making a rec site. That way I could tell authors I loved their fics by recommending them. I didn't have to comment, I'd just say, 'I'd like to rec your fic'. And then they'd get promotion. Win-win. Back in those days, the fandom would absolutely roast you for promoting your own fic, so to get on a rec site was a big deal. Not that I had a popular rec site or anything. But I think authors really enjoyed being asked.
All that to say I've liked a lot of fics. I can pull up the archives of HWIE and show you all the faves I liked. :)
What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?
Back in the day, E-muse would hold Improv Challenges, where other members would give you a prompt that you had to include in your fic. I was always really proud of the stories I created from those challenges (No Earthly Means and Elephant in the Room if you want to read them).
I enjoyed writing Dead to Rights which is an XF/Dead Like Me crossover because I loved the challenge of writing a crossover. It was the first crossover I ever tried writing even though I only recently published it.
Otherwise, I like re-reading In a Graveyard, Importuning Life for Life, and Some By Virtue Fall. Of my more recent fic, I like Slap a Goatee on Me and Call Me Evil because the premise was ridiculous and I think it's funny as all get out.
Probably my favourite of my VM fic was Stay Outta Riverdale. Because: 1. The title is a Simpsons reference who doesn't love a Simpsons reference? And 2. I think I was hilarious throughout it.
Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?
I'm always open to writing more fic (and, of course, I don't mean my WIPs…don't look at me like that). Lately, my only motivation has been from writing prompts on Tumblr. I haven't had anyone give me a prompt in over a year, so here we are. I have snippets of dialogue in journals and word documents that have never found their way into stories. I'd be happy to dust off any of those and shoehorn them into a new story.
Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?
The last fanfic I wrote was a mini-fic over a year ago (with a prompt from Lilydale!). I've written a bit of original fiction but I haven't been able to finish it. Otherwise, I do have a number of real life hobbies which are where my creative outlets lie now.
Where do you get ideas for stories?
Lately, challenges and prompts. It used to be from wanting to see more from a scene. I really had a thing for fill-in-the-blanks or scene continuations. And sometimes my motivation is just plain old spite. :)
What's the story behind your pen name?
Circe Invidiosa is the title of a painting by John William Waterhouse. Love the colours and the absolute malice on the face of the subject. It felt like a good pen name – the envious witch. That's me!
I chose it when I posted my first XF fic (which I cringe to read now, ugh so terrible) without knowing there was already a Circe in the fandom. Whoops. I tried to go by the full Circe Invidiosa or Invidiosa as much as possible after realizing that (invidiosa is my url and my username on a lot of sites, etc.). Now I think that I've been around long enough that it doesn't matter as much but I still like it.
As I said, I took the name Invida for the VM fandom which is just a shortening of Invidiosa.
Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?
My significant other knows and that was quite a reveal (oh how awkward). However, the SO has been very supportive and has read all my stories since the reveal and sometimes betas them. The SO also wants us to collaborate on writing some original fiction but we haven't found a project that works for both of us creatively or timewise.
My BFF knows because I dragged her into the online fandom. We've known each other since we were 14, but our love of XF really solidified our bond in our 20s. She wrote some short but sweet fics under the penname Helen Quilley which I bullied her into posting, and we wrote Of Ladies Most Deject and Wretched together. She is mostly embarrassed that she wrote fanfic now but we still fangirl together.
No one else really knows other than fandom folks I've met in real life. And some friends know I've written 'short stories' but I don't elaborate. I work in a stodgy, uptight industry where anything fun or actually having a life is frowned upon.
Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?
Over the first lockdown, I got my shit together and got my fic site, invidiosa.com, up and running again. My site houses fic by Rain (now @doctorhelena on Tumblr and AO3), Helen Quilley, ML (who I miss so much), Folieadeux, Shelba, TLynn, Oracle, Piper Sargasso, Diehard, and me. And I made all their dustjackets (except Folie's). The site got hacked a few years back and it was so much work to get running again that I put it off for years and years. I still feel terrible that I did not get the site back up before ML passed away, especially when ML had asked me about it a few months before she passed.
Anyway, all my XF fic is here: circe.invidiosa.com. I have 3 of my newer XF stories on AO3. And my fic-LJ also has some of my stories. Some of the newer stories are on Tumblr but the tagging is so erratic that I'd have to list several tags before you'd find them all. I don't know why I haven't moved everything over to AO3. Probably laziness.
I'm @invidiosa on Tumblr. I'm still on E-muse. I'm still on LJ. I'm always reachable by e-mail (invidiosa at gmail).
Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?
Thanks for reading, writing, and commenting. It is always appreciated.
(Posted by Lilydale on January 5, 2021)
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I posted 1,503 times in 2021
1116 posts created (74%)
387 posts reblogged (26%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 0.3 posts.
I added 3,016 tags in 2021
#shepherds of haven - 1289 posts
#anon - 491 posts
#spoilers - 209 posts
#mc - 175 posts
#<3 - 169 posts
#alpha build - 163 posts
#alpha preview - 147 posts
#silly - 133 posts
#chase - 124 posts
#chase trinaeste - 116 posts
Longest Tag: 140 characters
#i'm aware that trouble's are wildly different from each other but you tell him he doesn't fit the vibes of a literal gay goth cowboy soulful
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
Do you have any advice for newbie fantasy writers? Your characters and world feel so real. I want to reach that level. Also how did you create the language phrases in your story?
Hi there, thank you so much, these are such high compliments! I wrote a little bit about the hardest parts of writing fantasy here recently, and of course there's always more advice in the #writing advice tag, but I think my biggest piece of advice is to start small. Start with your main plot: who are the central characters, what are their roles and relationships to each other, what do they want and how is that in conflict (and there has to be conflict, whether internal or external; otherwise there's no plot). Everything else--all the little details and tidbits about the culture and history and economics and politics--comes way later, and you risk overwhelming yourself if you try and sit down and outline everything from the get-go.
Like, if you know you want to write about a princess and her bodyguard falling in love, start with that and then work outward. What's keeping them apart? What's her job as royalty and her relationship with her family, and her family's relationship with the public? Why are they rulers? Are they regarded favorably or not? Really basic things you need to know before you start writing. Then branch outward: are women eligible for the throne or not? How does succession work in the event of unexpected death? Is this more like a western monarchy, an oligarchy with many ruling clans as part of the court, or something else? Are there threats to the royal family's position? What makes the bodyguard fit to be her bodyguard? Trained in secret arts, master of a special weapon, has special powers, or something else? Then you'll start getting into whether or not magic exists in this world and how it factors into the main plot, what kinds of politics or conflicts exist, which will branch into antagonists and villains, urgent concerns and high stakes, and etc.!
Do not try to start from the beginning (like "500 years ago, there was a war between three factions over the world's most precious resource, ferrunum, and the winning faction retained control over ferrunum, which gives one the power to grant wishes, but only people of pure blood from this one mountain clan can be the ones to ask for the wishes, leading to more conflict over time..."). It spirals out of control quickly and gets the main actual story lost in the muddle! I mean, maybe that's just how my brain works, and outlining everything from the beginning of the universe to the present works for other people; but I think keeping things manageable and just letting different ideas accumulate over time rather than deciding everything straight from the start allows the story to build momentum, rather than stalling it in its infancy!
Another thing I would recommend is looking at many different sources of inspiration, rather than just one or a handful! Read a book (or watch a show, or read a manga, or play a video game) about merchants or pirates or spice traders or inventors rather than just princesses and bodyguards to get a feel for how things work in other aspects of the world, and feel free to explore other fantasy worlds, too--especially ones inspired by other cultures rather than just the classics, like Tolkien and Lewis. I got inspiration for how the nobility acts in Shepherds from sources as varied as Crown Duel (a YA court intrigue fantasy novel), Bridgerton (TV show on Netflix), and Curse of the Golden Flower (Chinese epic wuxia drama film). Just absorb lots of stuff and let the little details inspire you and amalgamate into your own creation!
Finally, to answer your question about different language phrases in the game, I just straight up mashed letters together until they looked right on the screen. Like, I always thought Elvish would sound very flowing and lyrical, like a river rolling over a bed of cool smooth stones or the breeze winding through grass, so I stuck a lot of l's and r's and e's and a's together until they looked right, like aya lani ("the gods smile"). And I thought Haven city slang would be sharp and guttural and cutting, so insults like muti and ketch sounded right!
I hope that helps!
255 notes • Posted 2021-11-17 02:12:39 GMT
#4
I abruptly woke up with this exchange between Trouble and Briony in my head and I just had to write it down. There's absolutely 0 context for it, I don't know who Briar is or any of the events being referenced, just sub in your own Trouble!mancing MC if you like! These exact words just materialized in my sleeping brain for some reason...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I suppose I'm just not understanding the issue," Briony admitted. "You like Briar, don't you?"
Trouble snorted, as if this were a profoundly stupid question. "Like her? Of course I like her--she's my best friend, we do everything together."
Briony made a loose, hand-flexing gesture: something she must have picked up from Tallys, because he thought it was an Elvish way of expressing frustration with idiots. "Let me phrase it another way," she said in a brighter tone, clearly striving for patience, drawing herself up in a diplomatic way. "You're attracted to Briar, aren't you?"
He went a little slack-jawed at that. Then he paced around again, ran a hand through his hair. His scalp suddenly felt too hot and agitated. Finally he groaned and said, "Attracted to--yes, of course I find her attractive. Who doesn't? Honestly, who doesn't go a little wild for someone who can blow someone's head off with a shotgun at a hundred paces like it's a farmer's musket? You telling me there's a recruit in the Order who wouldn't strip instantly for a woman who can set a serial killer on fire with her eyes, which she did?"
"Um," Briony said. Then she shook her head and said, "I'm going to push right past that and pretend it wasn't a little concerning, and just focus on the important bit: so you like her, and you're attracted to her; and no, it's not just that you find her attractive, that's a different thing entirely, and you're not being quite honest. You've got it bad for her. So what's the problem?"
That hot, itching feeling had worked its way from his scalp to the back of his neck, and it was fast approaching his heart, like some kind of reverse reflux. He wanted to yell, or start banging his head against the wall, but she was already looking at him like he was insane. And maybe he was, a little bit. Finally he let loose another groan and said, "We're friends."
Briony's mouth fell open; she looked downright scandalized, or perhaps outraged, by his word choice. "Friends don't want to tear each other's clothes off."
"Yeah, that's what I'm saying."
There was a beat of silence as a little knot worked its way into her brow. "I'm so confused."
Trouble threw himself down onto the ground and covered his eyes with the crook of his elbow. "Shit, girl, me too."
312 notes • Posted 2021-09-20 22:12:26 GMT
#3
My Book is Out Today!
I'm told that some people don't realize that I (the author of Shepherds of Haven) am also the author of the science fiction novel I keep reblogging, WE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN HERE! The book's official release is today and you can get it in physical stores or at any of the links below! There are Shepherds easter eggs in the book and there will be WE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN HERE easter eggs in the game... This is my debut published novel, so I would very much appreciate your support, whether it's checking out a copy or simply spreading the word! On its release day, WHABH has already been chosen as an Amazon Editors' Pick for Best Science Fiction, a Booklist starred review, and the Freund Award for Excellence in Publishing! 🤯 And it's available in e-book, hardcover, or audiobook format!
Buy Here:
Amazon
Penguin Random House
Barnes and Noble
Target
Walmart
Indiebound
Bookshop.org
Books a Million
Audiobook:
Amazon
Audible
Audiobooks.com
Other Links:
Author Website
Twitter
Facebook
335 notes • Posted 2021-07-06 19:24:32 GMT
#2
See the full post
361 notes • Posted 2021-03-09 22:00:54 GMT
#1
Shepherds of Haven
Description
Shepherds of Haven is a dark fantasy interactive fiction game. In it, you play as a Mage living in a world where magic is outlawed and your people—those possessing supernatural powers—are oppressed and reviled. The world is ruled by humans who believe in science, technology, and industry: at best, you and your kind are nothing more than a fairytale, and at worst you are the state’s greatest threat.
Thus, using magic has been illegal for centuries. But after years of persecution, you are suddenly offered an opportunity to use your powers for good: demons are now returning, and the world needs fighters like you to protect the population from their invasion. Guns and bullets do no good against monsters pulled from primeval nightmares; only your people and your supernatural powers have the ability to fight fire with fire.
So you join the Shepherds: an order of elite heroes and fighters comprised of the very people the world once feared more than the demons themselves. As a Shepherd, you’ll solve magical crimes, slay demons to protect the citizens of Haven, and build your reputation throughout the capitol. Explore the world of Blest, recruit allies and factions to join the Shepherds’ cause, find romance and companionship, investigate mysteries, lead rebellions and exorcisms, and uncover answers to the crises plaguing the world. Where are the demons coming from? Where have the gods or God gone, if they ever existed? And who are you, really?
And will you be the world’s true savior... or will you be its ultimate downfall?
See the full post
862 notes • Posted 2021-01-01 19:57:03 GMT
Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →
#my 2021 tumblr year in review#your tumblr year in review#CHASE'S STOCK CLEARLY ROSE IN 2021#HIS TAG BEAT OUT ALL THE OTHERS?#also that extra long Trouble tag that still got cut off anyway has me howling#this was fun!#Tumblr#tumblr year in review
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how do you balance creating fan works with juggling your responsibilities? I've been struggling with finding the time/motivation to write what I want.
First, my creativity output tends to come and go in waves. Some weeks I’m writing 1-3k a day, some weeks I don’t even open documents at all. Some weeks are in-between, where I open stuff and poke around and do a few hundred words here and there, but not much more. The “off” times I’m usually reading, playing games, watching movies or shows, talking to friends, and thinking about stories or scenes. Sometimes, this isn’t even anything I’ll ever write! Sometimes, I don’t think about stories I’m writing at all. It’s more whatever pops into my head and less structured.
Part of me wants to be Disciplined and write every day, but the reality is that unless it’s a very tiny limit like 100-200 words, this really isn’t doable for me. I have kids I homeschool, I have a house and a husband and a dog and there are times in life when I need to deep clean a bunch of rooms, or plan out school stuff, or go on hikes, and I still have to have time to recharge. Writing sometimes is that recharging, but I can’t afford to force it when it isn’t.
Because the reality is that to find that time, you have to give up something. There isn’t a version of the equation where “finding time” involves creating more time than you already have. The things I can afford to cut out to work on writing are the things I do in my own entertainment time-- I write instead of doing those things at all, or as much. So, I tend to write when it’s the thing I want to do, and enjoy doing, because otherwise it would be an emotional and mental drain I couldn’t afford. When I’m writing a lot in a day, it means I’m not really reading fic or novels, I’m not watching much TV, I spend way less time chatting online, I don’t really scroll tumblr as much, I’m not playing video games. The things I usually do in the bit of time in the afternoons or evenings when I have a chance to just do something I want to do, that’s what I give up to make room. (Sometimes, I give up sleep, but I don’t recommend doing this often. I can’t say I fully regret the times when I’m on a roll and stay up super late, but this really isn’t healthy or sustainable long-term because I’m not in a position to sleep in late-- if you can afford to sleep in late, that might be different.)
Two caveats: This is a fact, but not always a conscious decision. Sometimes, I might actually think, “Okay, so I’m not going to have time to watch this tonight after all,” but that’s pretty rare. Usually, if I’m giving up stuff to write, it’s just the natural consequence of really wanting to write and enjoying it and focusing on it. The same as if I’d gotten sucked into a really good book and spent the evening/night reading-- I’m not consciously deciding “I will give up other entertainment options for this today,” as much as I’m just doing the thing I want to do.
The second caveat is that I have ADHD! Wanting to write and getting started can be two different things because of my difficulty switching tasks or starting a task. The rule that tends to help me the most are on the days I want to write, or think I want to write, and have stuff I’ve been thinking about writing, but keep not getting started, I give myself ten minutes alone with an open document. A timer, ten minutes, the document, and nothing else. No app switching, no scrolling, no background chores. Those ten minutes of boredom don’t always kickstart writing, but they give me the chance to determine if writing is the thing I actually want to do that day. I get going and I’m on a roll and I ignore the timer when it goes off, or I poke around, maybe write a few words, and the timer beeps and I’m free to go do something else because it’s not a good writing day.
I’m not always the best at balancing, to be honest. Sometimes, I give up sleep, or put off minor chores. Sometimes, I forget to eat. I do not recommend these, but I think it’s okay if you’re WORKING at balancing and sometimes realize you’ve made an error, as long as you scramble to catch up and give yourself some space to learn. Because my responsibilities are centered around tiny humans, I have a framework of school and meal times I can’t ignore; if your responsibilities are more “quiet” and easier to overlook (like homework, or self-care, or work from home) you might need to just teach yourself to not even open documents until you’ve done certain tasks. Jot down notes if you’re afraid you’ll lose something! But don’t buy into the myth that a “real writer” is completely controlled by impulse and whim. Will there be rare days when you ignore everything else to write for four hours? Maybe! But that shouldn’t be the goal, or the norm, because unless you have a household staff and responsibilities that cater to your whims, it’s really not realistic or healthy.
The big things are to figure out how to be hard on yourself and how to be gentle with yourself. If you’re too tired, really want to watch a show, overwhelmed by work, just need to talk to a friend or chat server for an hour, it’s okay to just do those things and not feel guilty. Unless you are writing fulltime as your job, it is a hobby and you don’t “have” to achieve a certain level of productivity to be valid as a writer.
The times to be hard on yourself are when you know you want to write, and are enjoying the actual process, but your brain isn’t trained to focus on it for stretches of time-- when you’re writing and think of something to tell a friend, wander about a random fact, want to check tumblr when you pause to think about a sentence, that’s when you sternly tell yourself “no, give it thirty seconds before you jump away from this task” and see if you end up getting unstuck with that little breath of boredom space. If you’re really disengaging, that’s okay, but your brain might just need to build the muscle of staying focused on the structure of creative output. It’s a muscle! You might WANT to do fifty pushups, but if you haven’t made your body stick out five for a while, and then ten, and built up, it’s probably not going to cooperate and you’ll feel miserable and broken and useless if you just try to get to fifty the first time. But...building to fifty requires not getting distracted and wandering away when you’ve only done 2 of 5 the week you’re working on sets of five.
My only other recommendation if you haven’t done a lot of writing before is to not fall into the editing trap. Unless you just REALLY LOVE EDITING and it engages and charges you to write more, don’t get stuck in the loop of opening a document or a notebook to write and spending all your time editing the few paragraphs you already have. A lot of the first draft stuff will probably suck. That’s okay. Just finish the thing. You know the cake analogy in fandom? “Write that hurt/comfort, it’s just more cake!”? Getting stuck editing the first bit of a story over and over until it’s polished is sort of like looking at a bowl of three ingredients of a cake recipe and going “This doesn’t look much like cake, maybe if I add more flour...” until you have a bowl full of something that really isn’t cake and isn’t anything closer to cake, no matter how pretty you’ve made those three ingredients look in the bowl. Maybe it’s a very lovely color and has pretty sprinkles on it! Still not a cake. You’ve wasted your limited time, and worn yourself out, and you know you still don’t really have anything closer to a cake to pull out of the oven and show off. The time to edit is when the cake is done and cooling, and you’re making icing and picking out trimmings and cutting up fruit and shaving chocolate or whatever.
And then the next cake will probably be better because you practiced doing the whole thing and have a better idea of what to do and not do the next time. Then, opening a document or grabbing a pen and notebook can be a new, engaging chance to create instead of “oh it’s this same stale bowl of aesthetic half-batter.” (Again, if you find editing as you go super recharging, ignore this-- some people are just very good at tweaking batter as they go without stalling completely-- just give yourself the time to figure that out.)
I hope this helps! Feel free to send follow-up questions or clarifications if I misunderstood something or you want a differently structured answer or just MORE INFORMATIONS.
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