artemis fowl memes i made in the car bc there isnt enough anywhere

This probably happened-

Holly: So, what, now I’m just supposed to do anything that Artemis does? I mean, what if he jumped off a cliff?

Butler: If Artemis were to jump off a cliff, he would’ve done his due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry, so yes. If you see Artemis jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.

Holly: You jump off a cliff!

Butler: Gladly. Provided Artemis did first.

(Incorrect quote, not mine.)

So anyway have a meme involving one of my favorite jokes in the book

"There is sometimes chocolate on the shelves."

-Artemis Fowl to Beckett Fowl, in Artemis Fowl and the Time Paradox.

unforgettable quote and possibly my favourite

https://youtu.be/pka6B6Sd4gA

Guys, guys, based on this video

Artemis fowl senior with a hand on Artemis's shoulder: "this is Reginald. he's a purebred doberman haversham, he cost $2000 and we were on a waiting list for 4 years to get him."

Artemis with the twins: "these are my babies chonco & fuckass i found them in a dumpster & I love them more than life itself"

Also I can imagine Artemis saying this with like a dead serious expression cause he's shit at expressing emotion but he fucking loves and adores his baby brothers

Also, can also be used with Artemis senior and his butler and Artemis with butler and Juliet cause all the other butlers have a very like non emotional, very buisness like, profesional relationship with the fowls.

and Artemis and butler and Juliet are here like "we are family!"

Wizard: I never tell anybody exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared.

memes for fowlfest day 1

artemis "flat earth" fowl

If anyone was curious about my writing process...

I keep notes that I use for when I'm either too drunk or tired to remember an idea

Vague descriptions of the AF books

Artemis Fowl does not like lollipops

Artemis Fowl shoots his father off of a radioactive boat

Artemis Fowl cryogenically freezes his bodyguard

Artemis Fowl gets sprayed with troll hormones

Artemis Fowl rescues a prepubescent demon

Artemis Fowl manages to literally duplicate his problems while trying to fix them

ArtemisFowl.exe has stopped working

Artemis Fowl ressurects himself, from the grave

artemis fowl rant for a belated happy birthday

There's something so unique about the Artemis Fowl books that no other YA book series I've read can capture. So what shall I do? Throw my obsession into words in a Tumblr post, that's what :D

For one, Artemis Fowl is grounded in reality. This may sounds strange because of the magic fairies, but take a look at the detailed descriptions of landmarks (I loved reading about Ireland and that one scene at Taipei 101 in the Lost Colony where Artemis forgets he's running a negotation and starts nerding out over the ingenuity of the building -- you know how, iirc, there's a giant metal ball inside the spire that swings in the opposite direction from the tower's swaying to counteract the wind :D :D ok I'll shut up now), Foaly's and Artemis' inventions (shimmer suit; C-Cube; Ice Cube; etc), Artemis' plans, and other random things. It gives the sense of us being in Artemis' mind, and learning actual real stuff about the world that's genuinely interesting (at least to me). And it doesn't push the information in our faces like many educational storybooks, it hands us the story first, and pipes up with a few tidbits of info in just the right places. Eoin Colfer you are as much of a genius as Artemis <3

NEXT Have you ever wondered why you like the Artemis Fowl books so much? For me, it's because Artemis encapsulates a version of who I'd like to be. A child who's taken seriously, and with good reason. A child who can mentally smack the d'arvit out of any adult. And the way he marvels at new information about fairies at the most random moments! Like with Mulch, or about the scent that elves have (citrus and grass, if you wish to know). The other day I was having a conversation with my father about the specifics of time travel and when and where he would go if I sent him into the past. He decided to visit Neil Armstrong after his trip from the Moon and take a picture of him, then introduce himself to a press conference as a time traveler, showing his phone as confirmation. His reasoning was that Neil Armstrong would be so curious about my father and time travel and he'd go on another mission, discovering how time travel works, thereby preventing his depression <3 Afterwards I was running our conversation through my head, thinking 'this is the kind of random yet logical shit Artemis talks about to anyone who'll listen'.

Eoin Colfer writes so much about Artemis' lack of coordination, especially in the Arctic Incident and Last Guardian. Why am I bringing this up? Because the entire time he's just describing me :') Artemis' tendency to complain about everything he's slightly disgruntled by is so relatable as well :D

I apologise for the clunkiness of my writing, but anyway thanks for reading :D