Tumpik
incorrect-dnd-classes · 20 hours
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Fighter: So, Ranger is no longer allowed to take the trash out at night. Why, you ask? Because I’ve caught them five times now trying to train raccoons to fight. Ranger: You’ll be thanking me one day when the third raccoon battalion saves your life.
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incorrect-dnd-classes · 22 hours
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Warlock: The reason I sin is because there’s a stairway to heaven and a highway to hell, and I sure as shit ain’t climbin’ no stairs.
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Wizard: I am perhaps already the undead, hauling my body around this mortal realm, haunted by the souls of the damned and the hungry who feast on my muscles and bones until I shall be dragged to hell once more. Druid: Once again, I don’t know where that is on a 1-10 pain scale.
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You know, studies show that keeping a ladder inside the house is more dangerous than a loaded gun. That’s why I own ten guns; in case someone maniac tries to sneak in a ladder.
- Artificer
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Warlock: Do something fun. Sleep over at a murder site or whatever. Monk: How have you survived this long? Warlock: Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
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Barbarian: We’re about to do the taser challenge. You want in? Fighter: What's the taser challenge? Ranger: We tase each other, then drink. Fighter: How do you win? Barbarian: What are you, a lawyer? You want in or not?
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Monk: Bold of me to constantly use the phrase 'no worries!' when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.
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Bard: I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.. WE’RE DOOMED! Barbarian: Hey! Don’t forget doom upside down is woop!
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I guess my against the stereotype character is a necromancer who's a king's advisor and right hand man. Your usual all black clothes and gloves and cape, he looks super shady and is constantly talking with other guards in whispers so everyone thinks he's planning to kill the king. Actually, they're super close since the days the king wasn't even royal and he's constantly worried for his slow burn crush's friend's safety. He's just goth and cynical, not disloyal :)
i ship it Aw, besties! Lovely, love a wholesome spooky goth- no, hang on, it occurs to me they could just both be evil.
Still lovely. We don't judge here.
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For the most part my protection cleric DOES play to stereotypes, except he FUCKS and is a bisexual disatser and my party keeps forgetting that until he hits on the rando fighter he's healing, lol
Torm didn't say SHIT about chastity!!
Good for him! My theory: the party's constant forgetting is a sign that he needs to flirt with rando fighters more.
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For the anti stereotype thing:
Flynn, a skinny guy with robes, books, endless curiously about things mortals probably shouldn't poke their noses into, and an in-depth knowledge of magical theory is in fact a Ranger by class and can’t cast even the simplest of spells. He has to find someone else to help him test his theories and do his experiments XD
Nice! Off-stereotype but makes sense because tbh a good chunk of dnd wildlife counts as things mortals probably shouldn't poke their noses into. I don't usually fuss about party comp but I do hope there's a proper spellcaster around for Flynn's benefit if nothing else.
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For breaking sterotypes, I made a Barbarian that actually has a proper education (in other words, Intelligence isn't his dump stat). No he just makes bad decisions because he rarely thinks things through before he does them. This includes, in his backstory, trying to fight a Tyrannosaur, bare handed, to save someone. It did not go well for him.
Hell yeah, genius dumbass representation from the non-int-casters. I love him. Please don't punch any more t-rexes.
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Breaking stereotypes: I have a LE cleric of Bane. He kind of hates all the gods, but Bane saved his life that one time, so. He’s in it for the magic pay check. He also somehow became the adoptive dad of our monk. And killed half the party.
Huh, Bane saved his life? That seems like it's got a whole story behind it. And uh... which half of the party did he kill? Like, was the monk included? Because that's very important for me to be able to judge his dadding.
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Ugh, I wish I had fun stereotype-breaking characters to share. But my D&D characters are either straight-laced clerics who keep the rest of the party in line/alive, or whatever weird idea appealed to me at the time (including a kid raised by bears who transforms into a bear, a sea witch whose contact with an eldritch evil made her cloudcuckoolandery, and a plant thing that can wild shape into giants or dinosaurs). The middle ground is where all the stereotypes get broken.
Nah, weird ideas and non-stereotypical characters can totally go together, you just have to elaborate a bit! For example, take the bear kid. The two obvious classes are beast barbarian and druid (assuming they're not a shifter in which case they could be literally anything). Chipper, innocently aggressive barb kid who's never actually angry, just following Bear Mom's example? Completely un-spiritual druid who approaches civilization with all the clumsy delight of Child Discovering New Thing? Those meet the brief and break the stereotypes.
Or, y'know, give your next bard the straight-laced cleric personality. They get Cure Wounds too, y'know!
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Unstereotypical characters? I haven't gotten a chance to play him, but I have a plan for a paladin with the charlatan background. He scammed a church, then learned that their philosophy is actually really compelling. He now spreads the good word while desperately avoiding all contact with the church's officials. I anticipate hijinks!
Ooh, yeah, that sounds like an excellent setup for hijinks! Especially if the party gets famous enough the church hears about him!
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On anon bc my pqrty members probably follow you. Im currently playing a Medusa Wizard whos so sick and tired of being a medusa shes trying to de-medusa herself
Ah, yikes, good luck! I imagine it must get frustrating, doing Wizardly Dramatics only to find out all your spectators are rocks.
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One of my first really memorable characters was Daranel, a half-elf paladin of Balder. He was high intelligence, high dex, with the attitude of a bard on a 3.5 paladin, which meant he was always within a hair's breadth of falling from grace on account of the Inherent Bardic Urge To Have A Pretty Good Time. He carried a greatsword because it was his god's favorite weapon, but he could barely wield the thing. Instead, he used twin shortswords and routinely got almost killed whenever he unsheathed the greatsword, whether it was for a fight or not. As in, he once almost died because the treasure chest he was trying to break open with the greatsword exploded.
I love him.
Now, to be fair, I think the Norse pantheon specifically would approve of the Inherent Bardic Urge To Have A Pretty Good Time. It's being unable to wield a greatsword that might get their disapproval.
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