“i’ve learned more about the good friday agreement in one episode of derry girls than i ever did at school” okay but you see how that’s bad right. like you could have looked into it. google is free. libraries exist

grrr hating today already (not really) (i am just tired)

365 Days of Writing Prompts: Day 330

Adjective: Vivacious

Noun: Delta

Definitions for those who need/want them:

Vivacious: attractively lively and animated (typically used of a woman)

Delta: the fourth letter of the Greek alphabet (Δ, δ), transliterated as ‘d’; the fourth in a series of items, categories, etc; (astronomy) the fourth (usually fourth brightest) star in a constellation; a code word representing the letter D, used in radio communication; a difference between two things or values; (computing) a change or set of changes made to a file or program, especially as part of an update to a later version; a triangular tract tract of sediment deposited at the mouth of a river, typically where it diverges into several outlets; a region in northern Mississippi that lies between the Yazoo and Mississippi rivers and is known for its cotton and for blues music

Honestly I did not know it was Trans Visibility Day but now that I do know, I made something for the occasion! I heart this insane middle-aged guy and headcannon his trans-ness as basically just an evil and fucked up version of his previous male identity. He’s a guy but goopy and scary now.!!

(Image ID: Ink Sammy Lawrence stands over the corpse of human Sammy Lawrence. His human form is laying in a lake of black ink with various compositions scattered around him. His hair is unkept and falls into the pools. His ink form seems to have emerged from this human corpse, and stands confidently with his hands crossed as if in a coffin. His mask is tilted to the side of his head and he grins a large toothy smile. Behind him is a dripping trans flag in the shape of Bendy, and behind that is a small room with the shadows of outstretched hands all over the wooden walls. End ID.)

Very unorganized rang about how he relates to gender identity (cause I thought it would be fun) under the cut!

SAMMY LAWRENCE GENDER RANT WEE

This artwork is related to Sammy and whatever I headcannon his identity to be, yes, but it is also related to me! Sammy’s definitely one of the guys that falls under the gender umbrella for me, and so I’m using him here as a sort of expression of how I feel about my own transness. A big part of my identity is body horror and metamorphosis. What is horrific to most is still horrific, but also beautiful, to me. I would love nothing better than to literally crawl out of my own skin sometimes and live life as some freaky creature. I don’t really understand it, with me just beginning my journey and all, but I can’t deny it permeates a lot of my dreams and ambitions.

Sammy reflects a lot of that for me, as you could probably figure out. I know he hates his body in cannon, but to me it just feels so much more logical that he’d love his new body as it was given to him by Bendy himself.

Keeping that change in-mind, and also keeping in mind the undertones I’m giving him, I really like how his change into his new identity is handled. It’s no smooth sailing. I mean, he gains the new identity by hitting bedrock and going insane. But somehow, it leads him to a place filled with more fervor for life than before. Despite how low a place he’s in now, he has never felt more alive. (I’m not trying to romanticize this type of sadness by the way, I just mean that a big realization about my identity came in a dark time). I think that relates to a lot of feelings I have personally about my identity, though I cannot say for others. I just think it’s real neat.

Anyways, rant over. I just wanted to try and get my thoughts out on paper besides just saying that he’s gender. Ty for reading!

can you just ramble? ramble for as long as you want. as a fellow late 00s brit who's into some of the same interests as you (specifically vida the vet, charlie and lola, me too, balamory, abadas, and literally just any other cbeebies show i grew up with) i'd love to hear it!

if it's a ramble you want, a ramble you shall get. In other words here's like, my complete history with CBeebies. As a 08' kid, I was born in a weird transitional period for the channel. This was one year after they introduced the now iconic blocks of Get Set Go, Discover and Do and Big Fun Time, and Chris and Pui were going to move on from pres in 09' to work on Show Me Show Me. Postman Pat was just fresh from it's big SDS overhaul, which people either loved or hated (I think I liked it as a kid but looking back on it, it's nothing to get worked up over IMO, I just don't get why Pat can do James Bond-esque stunts now and is perfectly content riding a motorcycle.). Oh, and there was this little show about a garden of the night that began the year prior, I doubt that you've heard of it. Yeah, In the Night Garden was probably the first major CBeebies show I remember getting obsessed with, and looking back at it? I honestly don't know why. It's not a bad show at all, don't get me wrong, but I don't know why I was so obsessed over it to the point of having this dancing Igglepiggle toy as a kid.

Also, I remember loving the Hahoos as a young'un, part because a CBeebies magazine I got ages ago had little Hahoo toys. I took them on holiday to Turkey with me, yeah can you tell I'm autistic? I don't think I have them anymore, and if I do they're probably all scuffed up and missing paint. But that's okay, I can easily buy them on eBay to fill a place in 2 year old me's hear- HOW MUCH FOR 5 SMALL PIECES OF PLASTIC?

Yeah I didn't know these things were going for this much until my mum saw someone on Facebook ranting on how stupid expensive they are nowadays about a year ago. Anyways, on the topic of CBeebies' Bedtime Hour (and A Quarter nowadays), there's one elephant in the room I must discuss, the closedown screen.

This slightly green thing telling you to get some sleep absolutely terrified me as a kid though, it wasn't on the same level as the Eastenders theme's doofs and Christmas crackers if I remember correctly, but it still gave me PTSD for years on end. (Hey, at least I wasn't around for when the channel started, I really wanna meet whoever thought it was a great idea to make this screen bright blinding pink right after the goodnight song settled everyone down, just so I can tell them how dumb that idea was.)

Like all things I was spooked of as a kid, I got over it when I was getting nostalgic for the brand. Speaking of closedown screens, how is the closedown screen for the 2023 rebrand really good? Like, it would make a great screensaver without the text. You can say what you want about the new logo (which I think is fine, it fits in with the rest of the modern BBC branding so it succeeds in that aspect), but you gotta admit they did a really good job with revamping the idents for the channel.

Anyways, onto more of my favourite CBeebies shows. Charlie and Lola is easily up there as one of my favourites. It'sMy mum distinctly recalls taking me to the live stage show (which, live stage shows are a whole other can of worms I can talk about), and I couldn't remember much about it so I researched it, and it looks like they did a ridiculously good job of translating the show to a stage play while keeping the show's unique artstyle.

Balamory, obviously as a CBeebies viewer prior to 2016, I know what a Balamory is. I don't need to explain it. Though one weird memory I have is I remember going past the local barbers one day and seeing a Balamory rerun airing. I dunno why they showed CBeebies in the barbers of all places. On the other hand, Me Too!, which to me always felt like Balamory, but a wee bit worse (because that's exactly what it was!), and I don't remember my exact feelings towards it as a kid, but as a teenager, I became obsessed with it after found the Me Too! YouTube channel after I was pretty much done binge-watching Abadas. It quickly became my main comfort show, like if I'm not in the mood for anything else, just stick an episode of Me Too! on, there's like 150 episodes and I'm not sure if I've even seen over half of them. I've seen more MT! eps than Balamory though, probably cause it's more easily accessible. With Balamory, you gotta go on the internet archive for episodes of that. Abadas was one of the shows I distinctly remembered the intro for, though I misremembered it with Baby Jake of all shows (they came out around the same time). I went and revisited it one January day in 2023, around the time I was starting to put my Bubble Guppies hyperfix on the backseat as the show was about to end, and instantly fell in love with it. Really wish the production company behind the show didn't go bust as there was a lot of cool supplementary material with the show as well, they did a bunch of shorts on Vimeo which I happily recommend.

Eventually, I fell out of CBeebies around 2014 or so as, well, I was getting older and was ready to move on to more grown up shows (this is coming from the same kid who kept actively watching Nick Jr. well into his teenage years). But then I was channel surfing at my nan's around October 2019 or so and decided to stick CBeebies on for fun after deciding whatever was being shown on Challenge was too boring, I guess. Something Special was probably the show that launched me back into my CBeebies hyperfix, yea of all shows. Completely forgot the show used Makaton and as someone who was interested in sign language I went on a binge-spree to study all of Justin's signs. I became fairly competent at it. I got into Hey Duggee for a a bit as well, known as every parent's lifeline apparently. The game show episode is one of my favourites, mostly due to all the fun references they crammed into the episode. As a fan of the shows we people call game, it was a fun surprise. I also rediscovered some of my old childhood favourites that were still getting reruns. Swashbuckle was a bit too recent for me to have recalled watching it as a kid but my brother was certainly around for it and Tree Fu Tom, which was still rerunning at the time. Charlie and Lola still aired reruns, and back in 2019 I kinda just glanced at without much thought before realising a few years later that it was actually really good. Night Garden made me cry of nostalgia, and I also thought Baby Jake was the biggest feverdream ever conceived on television. I even was one of the weirdo's who listened to CBeebies Radio, though honestly there's no point in listening to it live as you can find all it's content on the Sounds app. Admittedly, I haven't gotten super into Bluey. Y'know, the most popular preschool show of this decade that didn't begin in this decade? Yeah I watched about 10-15 episodes of it, said "wow, this is one of the best preschool shows ever crafted", and then moved on to watching the same 40 Blue's Clues & You! episodes again. I'm sure if I force myself to binge watch it more I'll fall head over heels in love with it though. So if I haven't gone crazy for Bluey, what modern CBeebies shows have I gone crazy for? Funnily enough, two that released within the span of around 5 months. The Game Catchers was the first one I got into. I just kept binging episodes and instantly fell in love with it. Always thought the show's main concept was really, REALLY good. Teaching kids about outdoor games in the day and age of iPads is a really smart move. Don't really see many people in the fanbase yet unfortunately, it's certainly one my favourite CBeebies shows from the last 5 years. Also it has absolutely ruined me as any time I hear or say the phrase "so cute" I immediately have to connect it to Nina.

Vida on the other hand I pretty naturally got into. I checked it out, watched the first few episodes, and thought it was pretty good, but never intended it to become my next big hyperfixation. I was sooooooo wrong. I've always had a soft spot for shows with cute animals (Was a big LPS 2012 fan way back when) so naturally this was always destined to be a show I'd fall in love with. I also love all the characters in the show too. Pippen's my personal favourite, but Zigzag is a REALLY close second though. She's a cute bunny who canonically has ADHD. What's not to love.

Okay I think I've talked enough and I've been typing this out for like, 2 hours, I really need some sleep. I could talk about all sorts of other CBeebies shows I enjoy (LazyTown, Tish Tash, JoJo & Gran Gran, Carrie & David's Popshop's a more recent one I've binged from the days of old) but I've talked enough so yeah.

wee lil personal rant!

omg what a week/past few days fbsjlfbd i took a few days off of work and social media to just spend time w my fiancé and play totk and recharge mentally, then we finally went back to work this morning and he immediately messed up his back so we spent the day in emerg, he's off for a couple weeks, then we went to see spiderverse bc i'd already bought the tickets and right after we got there the theatre set on fire c:

anyway hi i hope y'all are having a great week so far! i also got invited to an all artists dnd group w some twitter mutuals and i'm excited to start making my big beefy wholesome man w black claw hands and his tiddies out <3

I feel like I’ve really been struggling to find books that I enjoy/am super excited to read. Can you recommend any books that you love or that have helped you get out of a reading slump? Contemporary/historical/paranormal are all great! Thank you!

Yeah, for sure! I haven't been in a true slump for a while. I have been through a bit of a book hangover these past few days just because I keep wanting to reread what I read before versus committing to new stuff, but that's different. I will say that I think combining audiobooks and standard reading has helped me avoid slumps. But audiobooks aren't for everyone, obviously!

Anyway, here's a lot of books with more info than you needed.

Okay, so.... I've been trying to lay off ranting about them too much because I still have friends who need to read them, and I'm working on a powerpoint/intro thing about them, but it's hard because Mila Finelli's Kings of Italy series is like. The best shit I've read in a while. Easily the most a series has consumed me since the next series I'll mention, which I read around October of last year--and it's a lot shorter, so it's easier to read through. I literally just ran through these books like a madwoman. I read through the wee hours of the morning; I read on a bus with a weird individual reading over my shoulder; I read on the subway; I read waiting for the subway; I read on a bench; I read in a restaurant while doing a solo bottomless brunch which was one of the most transcendentally peaceful experiences of my life. And now I've just been reading again, and trying to convince myself not to get the audiobooks because that would be RIDICULOUS but IS IT??? IS IT THO???

The series should be read in order, imo, and the first two books are a full duet, so not standalones. What I think makes this series stand out, aside from the emotionality combined with eroticism (these are.... definitely among the very hottest books I've ever read) is the choice to focus on the mafia in Italy, versus the mafia in America, which is what a lot of mafia books do (from what I'm told). So you get like, actually Italian characters and culture, versus Eyetalian (the Americans that love chicken parm and have their own unique culture that is nonetheless *nothing* like Italy Italians, who to be fair have many different cultural nuances due to the regionality of Italy, dialectal differences, economic--). I'm not Italian, but I have lived in a couple different parts of Italy and make it a priority to travel there whenever it's possible (which isn't often because money, but if I can I do it). The dudes in these books feel like Italian men, albeit with obligatory romance novel exaggeration. In most romances, they feel Eyetalian.

Mafia Mistress and Mafia Darling are about Fausto Ravazzani and Frankie Mancini; he is a don in Siderno, her dad is a part of a Toronto branch of the organization who runs afoul of him, Frankie is basically given to Fausto's son and heir Giulio in marriage. But before Giulio and Frankie can marry (she is not happy about this arranged marriage thing, and tbh neither is Giulio) Fausto decides "fuck it, she and I are vibing, she's not a virgin anyway, she's gonna be my new mistress" because Fausto is That Guy. It is age gap, it is very daddy, it has a heroine who's like defiant but is she really? Because she really does love the daddy thing. There is spanking and some light degradation and rough sex and a loooot of spoiling. And also DRAMA. If you have ever wanted to try an age gap romance.... this shit nails everything I personally love about it. Fausto is classy and old school and will also cut a man up into a million pieces and feed him to dogs, probably.

Mafia Madman, my favorite in the series, comes next, and it is a VILLAIN ROMANCE. The villain of the previous duet, Enzo D'Agostino, kidnaps Frankie's sister Gia as a part of a REVENGE PLOT, because he is both very smart and incredibly cracked. Like, my dude is living on a VILLAINOUS YACHT. His plan is to keep Gia in a cage and break her will and then dot dot dot, he hasn't thought it COMPLETELY THROUGH, but then! Gia turns out to be the greatest weakness for a man such as he: a FUCKIN' BRAT. This bitch is doing naked yoga in her cage, she's telling him all the filthy things she'll do to him (not that she waaaants to ohhh nooooooo, she haaaates him especially when he DOES STUFF to her), she's driving him out of his mind which is already very tenuous! A new classic for me, I can't stop thinking about it, and again, even better if you read the first two books first (and they're absolute bangers so you should). 15/10, would stay in the cage. Enzo and Gia are a perfect match of wills, and watching them break and fall in love is gorgeous. A top tier grovel, too, if you see

Mafia Target, the most recent release, also incredible. This one follows Giulio, Fausto's oldest son, who's hot as fuck, and naturally a MAFIA TARGET. Someone, someone whose name perhaps rhymes with Schmenzo, has in fact taken out a hit on Giulio (and semi forgotten about it? Because Gia's pussy is God? Gia fucked that man so good he deadass forgot about a really important mafia hit he put out? I love them) and has hired the best assassin in the game, Alessio Ricci. Anyway, Giulio sees a guy in the club, he gets head from him, as he does, and then he's advised that Alessio Ricci is trying to kill him and realizes THE GUY IN THE CLUB WHO SUCKED HIM OFF WAS ALESSIO RICCI LMAO. Anyway, this one is a extremely hot, extremely emotional, and probably the most straightforwardly romantic book in the series? Because Giulio and Alessio are better at Feelings than Fausto and Enzo, if still very Bad At Feelings. Another top fuckin' tier grovel. (For the record, Fausto does a good grovel in his duet, but imo the subsequent books have better grovels.)

These books are pEAK. And if you're interested in an historical series by the same author with a different name to break you out of your slump--Mila Finelli is Joanna Shupe, and I'd recommend reading her Uptown Girls trilogy for slump breakage. I also love love LOVE her Fifth Avenue Rebels series, but Uptown Girls might be a bit more... compulsively readable? The similarities and differences between her historicals and her mafia books are fascinating (Clay Madden -> Enzo D'Agostino... there is a pipeline).

The other series (and I do feel like a good series is a great slump breaking tactic, because if the series is good you domino them) I find incredibly readable is, of course, Kresley Cole's Immortals After Dark. There are like, 19 books in this series, I enjoyed all of them though some are stronger than others. They are probably best read in order. I just blazed through them, but you could always read a few, break, read a few, break.

Of course, Lisa Kleypas's Wallflowers is a great historical series. I also find her Gamblers of Craven's duology so so good from a duology POV, and I say this as someone who read Dreaming of You by itself and read Then Came You years later.

Lorraine Heath is obviously incredible. I'd read her Once Upon a Dukedom series for slump breakage; I adore the first book as one of my favorites of hers, and the second is a general fan favorite.

Tracey Livesay has an amazing contemporary called American Royalty, which is about a British prince falling in love with an American rapper. It's very "Harry and Meghan if Meghan was MEGAN (Thee Stallion)" and it's super hot and lovely. The sequel is out this summer, so you might wanna get a head start!

Heated Rivalry and The Long Game by Rachel Reid are two of my favorite contemporaries ever--and it's a duet! Focuses on Ilya Rozanov (cocky, charming, self-assured) and Shane Hollander (golden boy, uptight, anxious), hockey arch rivals who have been hooking up on the DL since their rookie season. Very much a FEEEEELINGS duet, but also very, very hot. I've read both a billion times.

The Queer Principles of Kit Webb and The Perfect Crimes of Marian Hayes (in that order) by Cat Sebastian is a pair of queer historicals that can be read as standalones but read better together and in order. Kit is a retired highwayman who's approached by Percy, a nobleman. Percy and his stepmother, Marian, need Kit's help to rob Percy's father; in the process of training Percy to do it, Kit, of course, falls in love with him. Percy is one of the more relatable characters ever, he is a BITCH AND A HALF LOL.

Something Fabulous and Something Spectacular (out today!) are a pair of hilarious queer historical romcoms by Alexis Hall. Begins with Something Fabulous, which is about Valentine (a duke!) proposing horrifically to a woman he's been pledged to since childhood. She responds by running away, and Valentine goes on a cross country adventure to catch her, alongside her twin brother, Bonny--who he begins falling for.

Lush Money by Angelina M. Lopez. Self-made lady billionaire wants a baby, and convinces a prince of an impoverished nation to marry and impregnate her in exchange for a financial bailout. HOT. ENEMIES TO LOVERS. INSANE.

Nobody's Baby But Mine by Susan Elizabeth Phillips, for an older contemporary. A fucking insane book wherein a genius scientist tricks an aging NFL star into knocking her up so that she can have a baby of middling intelligence, who's "normal". Her thought process is that she's super smart and he's super dumb, so they'll make an a average kid. Except oops, this motherfucker is actually QUITE smart, and when he figures out her deal he's like "nO KID OF MINE WILL BE A BASTARD" and forces her to marry him. Has a scene where he shows up at the class she's teaching, leans against the doorway, and menacingly goes "CLASS IS OVER" and honestly? It worked real hard.

Priest by Sierra Simone. Erotic romance about a Catholic priest who starts getting worked up by the woman telling him all this dirty shit during confessional, except they actually fall legit in love and there's some really gorgeous religious pondering throughout.

Queen Move by Kennedy Ryan. Childhood friends torn apart by circumstance meet again later and feel sparks, but she's a hardcore political fixer and he has a id and a baby's mother. Angsty drama and reconnection, I fuckin love it.

Ruby Dixon's Aspects and Anchors series, which is a cross-universe fantasy romance series in which the heroines get thrown through portals into this high fantasy world. They basically have to serve these gods as their tethers to the mortal realms, and obviously... the gods fall for them. Can be read a standalones but I'd read them in order. Hot, romantic, and fun in a way Ruby Dixon excels at.

Preferential Treatment by Heather Guerre is a romance about a woman who becomes her CEO billionaire boss's dom. It's hot, it debates whether or not a billionaire can be ethical, and he gets. on. his. kneeees.

Hey its me coming back with more who-cares random ass cartoon ranting

The depiction of Optimus Prime in the Transformers live action movies is in the public discourse again thanks to the new movie.

I may be 25 and faaaaar removed from my fascination with the franchise as a wee babbie years ago, but I can still firmly say that I know so much unnecessary TF lore and, like Zelda lore, it stays in my head to this day.

Anyway

Optimus Prime stands next to Batman and Spiderman as the greatest depictions of characters with upstanding morals, values and altruistic qualities. Obviously he's a giant freaking robot car alien who loses his trailer every time he transforms (my money is that it shrinks and goes up his ass. If Megatron can go from a glock to a 60 ft swole robot daddy then anything is possible) but Prime is definitely a character kids can look up to.

The way the character was written in the films, like Batman in the Snyder movies, is a huge insult and slap to the face to the fans and the legacy of the established icon. Having Prime kill others with little mercy, openly state lines he himself would never freaking say and just act like an all-around killer mercenary rather than a stoic hero is just gross.

Yup the world is different now and heroes should be dark and whatever to fit into how the real world would be etc etc

Yeah no screw that man. Kids need heroes that are pure good ...even if it can be seen as "cringey" by writers. If his own goddamn VOICE ACTOR since the beginning was uncomfortable with the lines he was given and even mistreated on-set...you got a damn issue

Whoever defends Prime in the films never understood the original character.

Anyway back to drawing anime versions of cartoon girls

About the fanfic trope ask game, I think I need to ask for Time-Travel 👀

There's of course the Time-Travel Fix-it (which I think is the most prevalent type?) but also the Time Loop subcategory... 🤔👀

Hah! You, asking about time travel? Who would have thought?

B+

Time travel's an interesting one because it's more prevalent in some fandoms than others. My three main "fanfic" fandoms over the years were LOTR, BBC Sherlock, and the MCU, with small doses of Dishonored (a video game) and Harry Potter.

Of those five, the time travel trope seems most prevalent in the MCU. I imagine it's definitely around in Harry Potter, but I didn't encounter it too much as most of my HP stuff was with crossovers. But generally speaking, I didn't have much experience with time travel until the MCU. The closest it came to in LOTR was reincarnations in the modern world (a couple of which were just awesome... I need to find those stories again and see if they were as good as my memory thinks they were. Sort of afraid to look deeper into it just in case I end up disappointed though).

Anyway!

A lot with tropes are less about the trope itself and more about its execution. I don't tend to comb AO3 for tropes or pairings, but characters instead, for instance. But when I see this tag on a Stephen-centric fic, I'm usually really interested. I only duck out if it's a "Tony's the center of the universe and he's never wrong" piece, which unfortunately accompanies this trope fairly often. Where the fuck are my time-travel Avengers as Family fix-it pieces, people? And yes, I mean *all* of the OG! Stephen's just now a part of them.

(They exist in very small numbers, which is why I'm writing one myself, once my current series is finished. Expect it around 2026 at my current rate of writing.)

I'll take both the time loop and time-travel categories. Again it's totally about execution rather than the trope itself.

Some favorites include:

The asker's own fucking masterpiece, which must be finished if you want me to live a happy and healthy life, no pressure.

Born Of The Same Impulse by GwendolynStacy (she only wrote Stephen like, once, and I just thank God that she decided to do so as this is still in my top 3 long fics to this day)

By the End of Today by Imagined (here's an author I hope is inspired to come back to the MCU one of these days - one of my favorite "wrote more than a couple MCU fics" authors, but alas, she's been devoured by another fandom)

Shout out as well to The End of Infinity by FriendlyNeighborhoodFangirls for being an over 900,000 word time-travel IronStrange fix it, combined with Team as Family dynamics. It's honestly too long for me to read fully but I've skimmed it and it's good if you like the tropes it presents. I might read it in full once it's finished (yeah, it's *not finished*), but for now it's a bit too much. Her shorter works are good, too--and a wee bit more manageable haha. Recommended.

There are a couple newer IronStrange WIPs that I want to add here, but they haven't gotten to Steve Rogers and the Accords yet, so I'm waiting to see how the authors handle that. Neither of them are tagged "not Steve friendly" currently, but if say that Steve was trying to kill Tony in Siberia and terribly wounded him in their version of canon and left him to die, I'm gonna politely ask that they add the not Steve friendly tag and be very sad that they went that... let's say fanon route. So we'll see. (And yes, I have an excellent essay on why that's not canonical for Steve and thus not Steve friendly, thanks for asking ;-) ).

But yeah. That's all about time travel and the slight rant that accompanies it.

Original: Ask me to grade a trope.

Roommate rant:

Trying not to start a fight with my roommate who has been claiming the washing machine since last Friday (when she was out of town for the weekend and the rest of us vetoed her and rushed to get our laundry done before she got home to be nice.)

But anyways she didn’t come home when she told us she was. Twice. So we didn’t do laundry those days, trying to be courteous since she called dibs before she had left.

She’s been home two and a half days and has not done her laundry still AND flipped off our other roommate yesterday for doing a single load. Today when I saw her I asked her to let me know when she was done so I can do a load and she went “umm, I’m going to work.”

She’s been home for 3 hours and is currently sitting in the living room watching tv. Washer is empty. So is the dryer.

I am a wee bit frustrated.

i upended my life for the sake of my career five (arguably six, counting my masters) years ago and the career has worked out far beyond even my wildest dreams but everything else is just. i am drowning in my own loneliness and i don’t know how to fix it and it’s starting to make me wonder if the glittering career is even worth it anymore lol

bird cage update

hi friends. i’ve been meaning to post a wee update for a few days but have been busy, and after the news the other day it didn’t feel appropriate to talk about anything else.

firstly, i wanna say to anyone in america who is effected by the news; i am so sorry. i won’t get into it too much, but i am deeply hurting for my fellow women, non binary folk and trans men. i’m privileged enough to live in a country with appropriate healthcare for people with a uterus, but this violent attack is on all of us, and i am always fighting for and with you. always. if any of you need someone to talk to, i’m just a message away.

as for bird cage. i know, i know. i’m overdue on a chapter. and don’t kill me but it’s nowhere near being ready to post. i’m sorry. in all honesty i’ve had writers block because, well, i have mapped out exactly what i want to happen in the chapter im currently writing, it’s not that i’m stuck with what to write. it’s more that i have a lot of doubts about it being interesting, engaging, etc. which might sound silly, i’m not sure. i just really wouldn’t want to disappointment anyone because everyone’s been so sweet and supportive. i also often read other people’s work and feel like mine is nowhere near as good, which is difficult but i’m sure others do the same. anyway. rant over. i promise i’m working on it. hopefully the next chapter will be posteeeeed. hm. within a week? i’ll do my best.

much love xx

Some kid just commented on one of my posts with Raph and Kris (the one with the tests where she finds out she’s pregnant) saying “bro.. he’s 14…” (the comment wasn’t on tumblr, so you’re not going to find them if you search for them)

And idk if I should address this or not, but I see a lot of people get hate for this kind of stuff so.. I thought maybe I should? ^^”

I tried to be nice and explain things, but they were just a dick about it.

I’m a bit of a petty person, so I did respond again, but in the future, I’ll be sure just to ignore/delete/block them. It’s best not to give bullies/haters the time of day. But sometimes it’s fun to put haters in their place… And because I’m a petty person, I’ll be including screenshots with their name crossed out. I did block them, and I’m hoping it’ll just end there. Most hate comments I ignore, but once in a while I’ll respond. Especially if it’s involving a friend of mine, I don’t give two shits what someone thinks about me lol.

I just don’t understand the point of going out of your way to be a little shit to someone?

And because they were rude, I will be sharing the convo, because that’s what you get for being a prick. Should I leave it? Maybe? But I’m not, so suck a nut. Be prepared, if you’re going to be a crusty anus, there’s a good chance I will expose your stank ass. <3

Clearly this person is a child, so I left it at that. I know I shouldn’t of interacted but I couldn’t help myself—

ANywAY- just some things I wanted to address.

1. Raphael is a FICTIONAL character. He’s not real. He never will be real.

2. He’s been around for many years, the characters were created in 1983, and they’ve been seen as both a child and an adult in multiple different iterations. He’s grown up with all of us, so it’s not even me “ageing” him up. It would be different if he was only seen as a child and then I just aged him up purposefully so that I can do more mature things with him.

3. In the comics, there is blood, violence, cursing, and drinking. So they are clearly not for children, or not just for children. And they all have literally killed people in certain versions. 2012 Donnie was seen snapping some guys neck, and yet it’s a kids show…?

4. I started watching TMNT as a BABY! My dad grew up with them and later showed them to me. I’ve loved them ever since I was a little girl. Raphael was my favorite as a wee bab, I had the biggest crush on him. And I remember being a 4-5 year old and crushing on this fictional mutant turtle. This is something that I started liking as a child, and continued on liking as an adult. I didn’t just see a 15 year old character as a 20 year old and immediately be like “yeah, he’s the one, I want to have his babies—“. I saw these characters as a toddler and admired them instantly! I wanted to be as smart as Donnie. I wanted to be funny and loving like Mikey. I looked up to Leo in more ways than I can count. I related to Raph, because he reminded me of myself. I was the stubborn, angry one. Just like him. I liked April because she was a beautiful redhead, and as a child I hated my red hair and was always insecure of myself. Casey made me laugh. Splinter gave me comfort (best dad—). These characters have been with me just about my entire life. They mean the world to me. I don’t have enough words to be able to express my true love towards them all.

TMNT wasn’t just a phase. It’s one of my greatest comforts and I will cherish it and the people I’ve met through the fandom always.

And if you ever try to warp my words in any way, if you give me or my friends hate, I will drag you down. <3

Sorry for the rant! I just really needed to say this— If you’re dealing with a little shit, just ignore em. Block them. Report them. Or if you’re petty like me, take screenshots for proof and post about them to spread the word! Bullying is sad. And you’re pathetic if you do it. And you’re a coward for it, especially if it’s cyberbullying. Stop it. Get some help. You desperately need it.

— Your friendly neighbourhood crackhead. <333

PS. Love and laughter always! ^w^

hi this is just a wee little rant about a upcoming orchestra competition and its really long so im cutting it lol, so read it if you want idk I just need to get some stuff out. its not fully tc related but I do talk about П a bit so??? yeah!

i'm really afraid for this competition coming up. we are combining the top two orchestras who, for the most part, have never played together and we have only 3 weeks and 4 combined rehearsals to make all 50ish students jell. the other orchestra is... slacking to say the least. normally, they are arguably better than the orchestra i'm with, but they haven't been this year and we have played much more challenging music than them which is not how things normally go.

just to lay things out so they might make a bit more sense, we all got the music about a month ago and have been working on it as separate orchestras along with other things so it hasn't been the full focus. my orchestra will be seated on the outside as 1 section principal (which is me!!!), 3rd chair, and 5th chair. and the other orchestra's violas will be on the inside 2nd section principal, 4th chair, and 6th chair. that is how the rest of the sections will be seated as well, but they have a lot more players lmao (the viola section is always super small, but this year both combined we have 6 students lol)

out of all of the sections, violas are likely ones that have it most together despite that ever present stereotype that violas slack off which is untrue in my school at least. The first stand (aka me and my new stand partner from the other orchestra) rocks. also she also goes to Б and we are both doing amazing and both very motivated over others and are both playing pretty complicated stuff. I do also think she hates me and idk why (enemies to lovers 👀 ???) but we've been stand partners before, done duets, and played in a chamber group when I was still on violin and we play well together so yeah 😍 (and ive known her since we were both 9 so I guess we have that going for us)

anyways П quite literally said that if we don't get first place it will be because of the other orchestra. that's so amazing im totally looking forward to that haha lmao. and another thing is П never gets 2nd place. or 3rd. she only gets 1st with a superior rating. and only twice in her 20+ years of teaching has she ever not gotten a superior/1st place and there was a valid reason for that (also her orchestra that year got 2nd only by a few points which is still good). so there is that pressure to need to get 1st- pressure on the students (especially the orchestra that's slacking) but also П puts so much pressure on herself!! last time we had a competition (it wasn't against others it was against a musical standard) she was so stressed that she didn't get ANY sleep and quite literally made herself sick for the days prior. im afraid that will happen again before the competition and im afraid of what will happen if we don't get first. what will she feel? I know when we had a kinda mid/bad mistake in a concert she blamed it on herself but it really wasn't her fault (it was the damn principal 2nd violin. no tbh it was all the players faults). she also is known by many, many people that are both educators and just conductors in the classical music world all across my region and she has a image to maintain and she doesn't want to make herself or the school look bad.

I really don't know how things will go since we haven't even had our first combined rehearsal. the first one is Tuesday and im kinda nervous because my new stand partner is very very judgy and if I mess up she will tell everyone and possibly Б as well so that's so exciting! no it'll be fine and the pieces are fairly simple. one of the pieces is by Mussorgsky who I LOVEEE. I have a thing for Russian composers and Romantic classical music so of course I love him and the rest of The Five. the other piece is some modern thing which I dont enjoy as much but its still pretty cool.

shit this post is longer than I thought it would be, but if you've read this far for whatever reason thanks and i'll probably end up talking a lot more about this and will very likely end up having more orchestra rants so this may become a regular thing. im honestly surprised I haven't talked more about orchestra/chamber stress stuff but yknow 🕺🏽

𝑺𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝒇𝒐𝒓 @sidefanficaccounttohidemyshame

Want one? Here be the rules 🦋🌈

Thank you for being so patient! It means a lot. Hope we can become mutuals now!

𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐥

𝐷𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛

I ship you with Shuri! I liked that you said you wanted a relationship where you can depend on the other person. That you want someone to do the more masculine aspects of life. And you know what, THAT’S OKAY. Sidenote (I hope you don’t mind me ranting here) but I didn’t grow up with a dad, so all the ‘manly’ stuff was done by my mum and I. Now I have a stepdad and I’m like ... yes you MAN, YOU change that lightbulb. I’m naught but a wee woman. I cannot MOW the LAWN. Anyway, sorry I just hijacked this.       I think Shuri would gladly do all the heavy lifting - she would be a natural at it too. She has a very masculine energy about her, and she would take pride in looking after you in those ways 

𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠

・Makes insane inventions for you. Like making your phone battery lasting for a whole week without having to charge it. Or making you jewelry with vibranium 

・Showing you Wakanda. Not many outsiders are allowed to get a glimpse into this country, let alone be shown by a member of the ROYAL FAMILY 

・In return, you show her the kind of life you grew up with. She’s constantly curious about how other people live, and would ask you a million questions 

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈:

↬ The King by Sarah Kinsley

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆:

↬ Dumbass x Oh God I Guess That’s My Dumbass

𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑓𝑎𝑣𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢  

Physically, she LOVES your hair! If you do it yourself, or whoever does it, Shuri definitely wants to get it done in a similar way. Personality wise, she loves your curiosity and light-hearted nature. You’re literally walking sunshine and you brighten up her day as soon as you enter the room

𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑  

Peter Parker! I think you two would have such a sweet friendship. I think you two would have crushes on each other when you first meet, but after going through Trauma™ you both realise that you work better as friends. 

𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐀𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐲

𝐷𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛

I ship you with Opie! I think he’s the most ... soft-hearted of the group? He’s not a grump per say, but isn’t the most outgoing person. I think you would entertain him with your shenanigans and he would make you feel so protected

𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠

・You always feel protected, no matter where you are. Even when you’re walking late at night, you know no one will hurt you. The whole town knows you’re Opie Winston’s. 

・One of Opie’s favourite things to do is lay in bed with you, he isn’t one for adventure and would prefer being at home with the tv on

・Going to the club house and being respected by everyone in there

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈:

↬ Davy Jones by Fia Oradd 

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆:

↬ Curious and Wide-Eyed (You) x Has Seen Everything, Thinks It’s Cute (Opie)

𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑓𝑎𝑣𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢  

Your unique personality. How you don’t fit into one category. He hasn’t met a lot of people who can challenge his mindset like you have. 

𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑  

Would be Tara, I can see her being your emotionally stable best friend who constantly asks you “is that a good idea?” 

𝐁𝐮𝐟𝐟𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐕𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐒𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐞𝐫

𝐷𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛

You two WOULD BE THE CUTEST COUPLE IN EXISTENCE. You’re like two peas in a pod - both excited about the other’s existence and cheering each other on. You can be your smiley self but also unmask when you need to; Willow understands you. And if there’s a chance that she doesn’t understand - she would do her damn best to. 

𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠

・Calls you a range of pet names: honeybun, sweetcheeks, honey, darling

・Asks if you want a protection spell put on you; she always asks before performing spells on a person, especially someone she cares so deeply about. She’s learnt from her mistakes. 

・Takes you EVERYWHERE with her. Coffee? Needs to get a new pair of pants? There’s something dangerous happening? Well the best and safest place to be is by her side!

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈:

↬ Something in the Water by Brooke Fraser

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆:

↬ Unhinged x Partially Hinged

𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑓𝑎𝑣𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢  

Your honesty. She loves that you don’t have any hidden motives, that she can take you at face value and you won’t backstab her. Because it’s actually rare that people are truthful. It’s a hard lesson to learn. 

𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑  

Is Xander! I think you two would be really chaotic and funny together. You would slip into the group so easily, like you knew the gang since day one. 

It's going to be a long rant, I am sorry I need to share this with someone mature and who is better than you? ILYSM.

So, I am not drawing comparisons with anyone but there are only 2 men I have stanned all my life (since 2011) one is a very famous cricketer (often called the GOAT of the game and definitely the best of this generation) Virat Kohli and the other one is Harry Styles.

Both of them have crazy fandoms (Virat's is at least 4 times bigger than H's because of the huge population of cricket loving nations)

Both of them have crazy and many borderline obsessed fangirls, all their partners have been bullied on social media.

Both are super private and don't like washing dirty linen in public but V has always had the courage to take a stand and defend his partners (even if he dated them briefly) and call out the people in power who are taking undue advantage of their power (he quit captaincy this year because the Cricket board's officials were jeopardizing the game by their shitty actions and lack of support towards the women's cricket) I was gutted but he made me proud.

And here we have Harry Styles, dead silent in all this mess and proceeded to date the said 'director' I am heartbroken because I have stanned this man for 12 years! Sigh!

P.S- Still love him, just a wee bit disappointed, he is a human after all he is allowed to make mistakes.

remember when he confronted that fan that was badmouthing camille all over twitter and banned her from his future shows? i wouldn't say he doesn't take a stance. in an one on one setting i mean. publicly, i would argue he's wise not to. because it won't silence haters anyway.

i agree about virat but i wouldn't say his fanbase is bigger than harry's with all due respect and trust me i know how big cricket is i used to watch ipl matches back in the day. things are handled a bit differently in media over there. which is why he can take a stance. for harry, i say it's best it he keeps his mouth shut.

also, what should he even say? "i know she's bad news but i have a kink for problematic women so pls give me a break 🥺" ?? 🤣🤣🤣☠️lmao