#anyways 'snap what are you talking bout' no cause the more i thought of him | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

koqabear · 3 months

Note

congratulations on 2k!! im so proud of you so heres a song equation that i think is so genius

the weeknd, one of your girls + beomgyu + smut and fluff = popular fuckboy!beomgyu x popular sweet!mc

this song is so beomgyu to me😵‍💫😵‍💫

♫: One of the Girls, The Weeknd // [2K Masterlist]

"Beomgyu’s a lot more obsessed with you than he’d like to admit."

beomgyu x fem!reader // wc: 2.1K // genre: smut, pwp, only a bit of fluff sorry <3 MDNI.

warnings: dom!beomgyu, sub!mc, oral (m & f rec), name calling (slut), finger sucking(?), spitting, praise, pet names (pretty girl, good girl, etc.), deep throating, dacryphilia maybe, possessiveness, overstimulation, cumming untouched ig. unprotected sex.. lmk if i should add anything

Notes: 2k followers ended months ago and this bitch is still here

Beomgyu never intended to keep you around this long.

Pretty girls like you were never his type. Saccharine sweet, innocent smiles, bright eyes and an energetic attitude that brought people to you like flies to honey. You had the world in the palm of your hand, opportunities at your feet and friends that were loyal like dogs— you were perfect, untouchable, untainted.

Everything he was not.

Maybe that’s how he got where he is now, low lidded eyes observing you carefully, watching as your shining doe eyes plead up at him, careful hands smoothing up and down the rough material of his jeans; you’re so pretty like this, he finds himself thinking, all pliant and weak to him, waiting for his command like a mindless puppy— your throat bobs and your tongue darts across your lips, dainty fingers playing with the loops of his belt as you silently plead for permission to let him feel good.

“My friends were talking about you today,” Beomgyu murmurs, tilting his head and reaching down to caress your face gently; warm hand cupping your cheek, his thumb brushing against your cheekbone, smiling at your head that immediately goes to lean into his touch, “said they couldn’t stop thinking ‘bout the way you looked in the dress you wore to last weeks party.”

Memories flash in your mind; the party your friends dragged you to, only complying because you were aware of who was taking part in hosting it— the pure, innocent image that hung over your head causing heads to turn the whole night— you could hear it, practically, the whispers and comments wondering what you were doing in such a place, all having speculated you the type to hate loud, rowdy environments like these.

They weren’t wrong; you barely lasted an hour in that dark, crowded place, finding yourself having a much better time in the back of Beomgyu’s car, pretty dress bunched at your hips and your makeup smudged by the time he dropped you off at your place, greedy hands refusing to let you go so easily, not one to put up much of a fight yourself; you’ve always been fond of waking up to the sight of Beomgyu first thing in the morning, anyway.

Beomgyu’s eyes darken; you’re snapped out of your reverie by the feeling of blunt nails digging into your skin, your head tilted back as you’re forced to stare back at Beomgyu’s dangerous gaze.

“They also couldn’t stop talking ‘bout how bad they wanna fuck you,” he seethes, nails digging in deeper at the very thought; your eyes glisten and you shift restlessly on your knees, a shaky sigh escaping your lips at his tone— his thumb quickly reaches over to weigh down at your bottom lip, parting your lips slowly.

“Would give anything to feel your mouth,” he recounts, thumb pushing into your mouth, a gentle pressure against your tongue as he surveys how easily you obey him; his brows knit together and his thumb hooks down against your tongue, opening your mouth roughly as he hovers over you; his face is inches away from yours as he speaks, his voice barely audible. “Said it’s such a shame they didn’t get their hands on you that night.”

Beomgyu could only sit back in his seat and listen; a spectator to it all, jaw clenched and arms crossed as he took in the way they spoke about you, salivating over you— the very reminder is enough to have his blood boiling. But, who was he to lash out at them? As far as the world was concerned, you were a pure, pretty girl that was expected to marry the son of an influential family friend. Beomgyu was never supposed to be in the picture.

“Wonder what everyone would think if they saw you now,” he mutters, voice patronizing and eyes filled with a sick arrogance as he stares down at you, “a good little slut on her knees for me.”

Without further warning, he spits; you flinch slightly at the action, a whine ripping through you as he straightens back up. Deft fingers smooth down your head, digging into your scalp and forcing your head forward— your hands are quick to undo his jeans, not needing another word from him for you to know what he wants.

“Fuck,” Beomgyu breathes out, dazed at the sight of your eager actions, quickly undoing his jeans and getting to his leaking cock; your hand is warm and soft against him, and he feels himself twitching pathetically the moment you finally pull him free from his underwear; your pace is familiar and your lips are plush as they kiss at the tip of his cock, doe eyes glancing back up at him for approval.

“So perfect for me,” Beomgyu coos, caressing your cheeks and watching as you take him in your mouth slowly, lidded gaze glued onto the lewd scene like he’s determined to ingrain everything about this moment into his mind, “Know just what I like, such a good girl.”

His voice is soft and deep as he purrs out praise to you, hand wandering down until it’s placed at your throat curiously— you relax instinctively, jaw falling slack as he begins to thrust shallowly, whispered curses and rumbled groans making your thighs clench pitifully— but your hands simply fall down on your thighs, knowing that Beomgyu never likes it when you touch yourself like this.

Your tearful yet determined gaze has Beomgyu’s pace stuttering— you just look so damn pretty under the dull lights of his room, the feminine and cute outfit you’ve put on today not helping at all; your makeup is already getting smudged from the tears that cling to your lashes and the drool that builds up at the corners of your mouth, taking everything Beomgyu gives you with nothing but a wide doe-eyed look.

“Shit…” Beomgyu groans, his thrusts a lot rougher than they were moments ago; he’s getting closer, you can tell, your hands balling into fists on your thighs as you continue to let him fuck your mouth just how he likes— his hand is frantic to grab at the back of your head, fingers stinging at your scalp as he pulls you flush against his pelvis; he’s still, and you can feel him throbbing in your mouth— your throat stings and your eyes squeeze shut, hot tears running down your cheeks as you swallow instinctively; Beomgyu lets out a sharp moan at the feeling.

“D–Don’t— don’t… do that,” Beomgyu huffs out, hips grinding subconsciously against you, your lungs starting to burn as you place a frantic hand on his thigh— but Beomgyu pays no mind to you, clearly lost in his head as he lets out a shaky sigh; at the sudden feeling of you placing a slight pressure on him, he looks down at you curiously.

“Hold it,” he tells you, lips twitching darkly as he feels you swallow again, body tensing as he simply ruts into your throat gently, “just a bit longer… you can take it baby.”

Your throat constricts around him, your eyes sting and you whine on his cock that continues to stuff your mouth— Beomgyu only pulls out once he feels you tapping weakly at his thigh, watching with low lidded eyes as you immediately begin to sputter and cough, a string of spit connected from his tip to your lips; he leans down to get a good look at you, watching you with a deceivingly soft smile as you try to regain your breath— his hand smoothes down your hair fondly, head cocking to the side as he prompts you to look at him.

“Good?” he asks gently, watching you nod without hesitation; he chuckles, placing a chaste kiss on your forehead before he takes your hands in his, pulling you up and beginning to walk you backwards toward his bed, “Good.”

As Beomgyu hovers over you, your he can’t help but find himself thinking about how fond he’s grown of this sight; of you, your breathless figures and your shiny eyes that catch his every movement, from his gaze that takes you in hungrily to his hands that slowly push the skirt of your dress up.

“Such a pretty girl,” Beomgyu breathes out, your wide eyes watching as he shifts down to lay on his stomach, slow, warm hands running up and down your thighs— you squirm impatiently at the feeling, hips bucking and lips parting in a gasp as he places a slow kiss onto your clothed cunt; mouth lingering for a moment, smiling coyly at the wet patch that already seems to have formed— and he looks back up at you, fingers hooking under your panties to pull them down as he speaks. “All mine too, right?”

Without thinking, you nod.

“Wouldn’t let anyone else see this perfect body,” he murmurs, fingers beginning to wander up and down your slit, toying with your clit and watching the arousal leak out of you desperately, “It’s all for me.”

Beomgyu always seems to get like this, you think to yourself— his touches are teasing, needy, and his tongue is warm as he licks at your clit, fingers picking up where he left off so he can talk— he’s insatiable, possessive, and his words always make you clench a little tighter against him; you think he must feel the way you react to him, and that’s why he’s taken a liking to running his mouth so much.

You couldn’t be any more incorrect, though— because as Beomgyu finally begins to use his mouth on you, tongue fucking your hole and nose pressing insatiably against your clit, he can only find himself thinking about how he’d like to spend the rest of his life like this— here, with you, listening to the way you keen and cry and bury your fingers in his hair, whining incoherently into the air.

“I’m— I’m close,” you stutter, your hips bucking and chasing after Beomgyu’s mouth; he simply hums in response, eyes closed with bliss as he feels your thighs shake and close around his head— your voice is pretty and airy as you stutter out mindless praise, every moan of his name causing his cock to twitch and leak against your mattress, unable to stop the way he grinds against it stupidly.

“R-right— Right there, oh my god, please don’t stop, please— coming, I’m coming, Beomgyu—!”

Your hips buck up and your back arches— your nails dig into his scalp and pull at his hair, shaky moans falling from your lips as your body tenses up and your orgasm washes over you. Beomgyu remains keen to it all— every sound you make, the way your body shakes and falls limp, he takes it all in, tongue still lapping hungrily at your arousal and hips still grinding into your mattress.

He helps you ride it all out— your eyes prick with tears all the while, sensitivity sending shocks throughout your body as you feel him groan against your cunt, burying his head further in even after you’ve begun to whine that it’s too much; when his head emerges from between your legs, he looks just as dazed and out of breath as you— if not more so.

“Gyu…” you mumble out, eyes drifting down to his chest that heaves, down to his stomach and noticing something that makes your eyes widen; Beomgyu follows your gaze, glancing down and looking away with red tinted ears.

“Can’t help it,” he huffs, not ashamed in the slightest as he hovers over you, cupping your face and leaning down to capture your lips, barely parting so he can speak, “you’re so hot when you cum.”

“Am I?” you ask softly, laughing at the immediate nod you get; your hand wanders down between your bodies, fingertips brushing over his cum-stained stomach and on his already hardening cock— your brows jump, and you smile. “Need me to clean you up?”

Beomgyu’s fervent shake of his head catches you by surprise; he’s never been one to deny the feeling of your mouth on him, so to say that this unexpected was an understatement.

“Just wanna be inside you,” he mumbles against your lips, the feeling of his cockhead grinding against your clit bringing about a sigh from both of you, “wanna see you cum again.”

The whine you let out at his words is enough to have him entering you slowly; dark eyes taking in every change of your expression, watching as your brows furrow at the stretch— he doesn’t think he’ll ever get enough of the sight.

No other girl has ever managed to do what you have; the man above you feels entirely enamored as he watches the way you cry and clench around his cock, gasping his name and clinging onto him desperately— you drive him crazy, and this only serves to prove it further.

You were never supposed to leave such an impact on him. But now that you have, Beomgyu will do anything to make sure that you don’t escape his clutches.

#txt fanfic #txt fanfiction #txt imagines #txt oneshots #txt ff #txt x reader #txt smut #txt hard hours #txt hard thoughts #beomgyu smut #beomgyu ff #beomgyu imagines #beomgyu oneshot #beomgyu x reader #beomgyu fanfic #beomgyu fanfiction

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e-dubbc11 · 10 months

Text

Birthday Boy

Photos are not mine. They are courtesy of Pinterest/Google.

Pairing: Billy Russo x F! Reader

Warnings: A couple of swear words and fluff

Word Count: 1.8k-ish

Summary: It’s Billy’s birthday, after a day of paintball, you have a couple of surprises at home for him and you’re hoping he’ll snap out of the bad mood he’s in

A/N: Part of the Gingerverse. Frank and Ginger are in this but only a little bit, I hope you’re not too disappointed, I know some of you guys really love those two(I do too.) But I wrote this in honor of my love Ben Barnes’s birthday coming up on the 20th. I wrote it kinda fast so I’m sorry if it sucks or if there are any mistakes. I hope you like it!

As always, thank you for reading! I appreciate it so much and comments, reblogs are welcome and encouraged. Don’t be shy to tell me your favorite part. 💕💕 💕

Just like laser tag, it was Ginger’s idea to have a day of paintball. You had been trying to think of something to do for Billy’s birthday anyway and thought he’d probably have fun with paintball and he did have fun until he didn’t.

And again, just like laser tag, you thought it would be better if Billy and Frank were on opposite teams. At Frank’s request, more like demand, he had to be on the opposite team as Ginger too.

Watching them try and work together during laser tag was painful because they fought like cats and dogs but all in good fun, and it was very amusing to watch. Still, Frank couldn’t have Ginger on his team this time, he said it may cause him to “pop a blood vessel.”

Frank got Billy and he got him good, right in the side of his neck. He’ll definitely have a bruise there in a couple days.

The silence was deafening in the car on the ride home while the ride up was so lively and upbeat. There was no music, no stopping for a coffee, and no talking. You could tell he was furious. You’ve been with Billy long enough now to know it was best to just leave him alone for a bit BEFORE telling him he was being a big baby.

The taunting Frank did after he shot him was what probably pissed Billy off the most, although he would have done the same thing if the roles were reversed. Frank’s team captured your flag first, game over, your team lost, and you were left to listen to the others gloat about their victory.

Billy always played to win, only this time he didn’t, and he felt like he let the whole team down even though it was just a game.

Even the elevator ride back up to the penthouse was silent, the only noises were the hisses and whirs from the friction of the guide rails. The modest squeaking of the cables and pulleys that you don’t normally hear because you’re usually talking or laughing with him, were quite loud when everything inside the elevator car was hushed.

Once inside, he dropped his bag and headed right for the shower but didn’t ask you to join him like he usually does. If you didn’t know before, you knew now that he’s REALLY mad about it.

It was supposed to be a friendly game of paintball for your husband’s birthday but there was nothing friendly about any of this. You were all competitive in your own way, Ginger took the loss pretty hard too and she was already planning a rematch. She really was the most competitive person you’ve ever met but Billy was a close second.

He had been so excited earlier when you told him that’s what you were all doing for his birthday, a scout sniper’s dream game, but the lot of you were sullen and quiet when the game was over even though you tried to be upbeat, saying it was all about having fun.

“UH, and WINNING y/n!!!” Ginger bellowed. “It’s about WINNING!!”

You weren’t sure you ever heard him yell “FUCK!!” as loud as he did when that green ball of paint exploded against his jugular. Billy called Frank every name in the book as Frank’s laughter and taunts echoed from behind the rustling trees.

“That’s gonna leave a mark, huh Bill?!!” Frank shouted in between hearty bouts of laughter.

Ginger groaned. “Dammit Frank!! Billy was our best shooter!!!”

“Not anymore!!!!” Frank yelled. “Bill the Beaut, you’re DONE!!!”

Billy was in the shower for a long time which gave you time to sneak down to your neighbor’s apartment one floor down to get the birthday cake you made for him.

Billy had a nose like a bloodhound when it came to sugar so you had to hide it somewhere where he wouldn’t find it and you burned probably every scented candle you owned to try and mask the scent of cake when he came home from work that day.

Meticulously, you cleaned every square inch of the kitchen to make sure all of the evidence of your cake baking and decorating adventure was gone so he would remain clueless because it really was difficult to surprise him. You hid his gifts under the kitchen sink behind all of the cleaning products, knowing full well he wouldn’t look back there.

Billy still wasn’t really used to receiving presents, he had never really had anything when he was a kid living at the group home so to watch him open presents with pure excitement in his eyes and a childlike smile on his face was better than any gift you could ever receive.

Gently, you closed the door behind you and listened carefully to see if the water was still running. Thankfully it was, so you could prepare his gifts and the cake.

You were very satisfied with the cake you made for him, it was round and it looked like a button down dress shirt, complete with a collar, and a black tie cascading off of the top. It took a long time and a lot of hard work to get it exactly how you wanted it but in the end it all came together and you really hoped Billy was going to like it.

In addition to the cake, you bought him a couple of gifts. The first one was a bottle of the bourbon you know he really loves and just ran out of not too long ago and the other was a new watch, the band was made from a whiskey barrel.

You heard the water turn off. He would be out soon and if you were to guess, he would ALMOST be ready to apologize for being salty and a sore loser. Dimming the lights, you lit the single birthday candle in the middle of the cake. It glowed bright yellow with flickering blue at its edges.

“Baby? You out there?” He called out from the bedroom, his voice becoming louder as he got closer to the edge of where the bedroom ended and the living room began. He was wearing a white t-shirt and sweatpants. “Sweet girl, listen I’m really sor—“ He started to say but stopped when you began to sing very softly.

Happy Birthday…to you

Happy Birthday to you

Happy Birthday, Mr. Russo

Happy Birthday…tooooo…youuuuuu.

The smile on his face stretched from ear to ear like a Cheshire cat as he lovingly watched you walk out of the kitchen holding the cake in the soft glowing light from overhead, the one bright spot being the lone candle in the middle of the cake, illuminating the smile on your face.

“Sit down on the couch, handsome. This is all yours…and so is this cake.” You giggled.

He couldn’t help but crack a smile. “You’re such a goofball, baby.”

“Ah, but I’m YOUR goofball.” You said with a warm smile behind the candle.

He smiled and licked his bottom lip. “Yes you are, my love. Yes, you are.”

“Make a wish, baby.” You said.

Billy gazed at you from behind the candle as he blew out the flame. He had an apologetic look to his beautiful brown eyes and in return, you showed him the forgiving look to yours. You had been waiting for him to reveal the silent apology that he would eventually vocalize later when he felt ready enough.

“Happy Birthday, Billy.” You said, as you gently pressed your lips to his. “I got you these too!”

Excitedly, you handed him the gift bag.

“What did you do, y/n?” He genuinely sounded surprised that you handed him a gift to open.

Discarding the tissue paper on the floor, he pulled out the bottle of bourbon first. The tension in his shoulders eased and he looked more relaxed as he gazed fondly at you and then looked closely at the bottle.

“Sweet girl, this is…you didn’t have to do this.” He shook his head in astonishment.

Billy had a hard time finding the words to say but before he could say any more, you said “Oh there’s something else in there too!”

He reached in, pulled out the small wooden box, and opened it.

“Do you like it? The band is made from a whiskey barrel.” You stated.

Billy looked at the watch and the bourbon, then looked at you with a warm smile. He pinched your chin between his forefinger and thumb and kissed you, while he moved his hand from your chin to your throat, wrapping his long slender fingers around your neck like a necklace.

His lips pressed harder against your mouth causing you to let out a faint moan and you tangled your hands in his tousled hair which was still a little damp from the shower. His tongue twisted with yours as his lips traced down the side of your neck before landing on that special spot you love so much.

“I take it, that’s a yes?” You asked sarcastically.

Billy flicked his gaze back up to meet yours. “Of course, it’s a yes. But I really don’t deserve it after the way I acted earlier, I’m sorry baby.”

“You did act like a big baby, ya know. You would have gloated the exact same way if you were the one to shoot Frank.” You said sternly.

“I know.” He said, scratching gently at his beard.

“I don’t wanna have to put you guys in time out…Ginger too!”

The two of you started laughing, he pulled you into his chest and leaned back against the couch, kissing the top of your head.

“Ok, ok we’ll do better next time, I promise.” He said. “So you made that cake just for me? It’s impressive!”

“Well, I’ll say it wasn’t easy and I wanted it to be a surprise so Jane let me keep it in her apartment for a day.” You said.

You could tell he had narrowed his eyes and when you looked up at him, he was pointing his finger in the air.

“Wait. Is that why you had every candle known to man burning in here the other day when I got home?” He asked.

With a sly smile on your face, you replied “Maybe…”

“This is amazing baby, I almost don’t wanna cut into it.” He said.

Brushing your knuckles against his beard, you lifted your head off of his chest and said. “It’s double chocolate on the insiiiiiiiiide.”

Bolting up off of the couch, he said “I’ll get the knife…and some ice for my neck.” He turned back around to face you and said with a warm smile. “Thank you sweet girl…for everything. I love you.”

“Happy birthday, Mr. Russo and I love you too.”

Tag List: @mindidjarin @saintmurd0ck @wheresthesunshinesblog @rafaelakelley @idaoftheburningmind @snowkestrel @xdervyxccgh @mattmurdocksscars @fakehappy27 @music-indie-tv @fictional-hooman @kayhi808 @munsonownsmyass @gijos @celestialams @idek-what-to-put @anastasianeedstoread @ratsys @k-marzolf @nutmeg17 @rosaleenablack @vaguekayla @qu1etwolf @danzer8705

Others that might enjoy: @itwasthereaminuteago @fluffyprettykitty @jvanilly @simple-lovebot @russosafehaven @mrsbillyrusso @imagine-a-fictional-boyfriend

If you’d like to be added (or removed from) my tag list(s) for the ever so handsome Billy Russo, just let me know and thank you again for reading! 💕💕💕 If I tagged you but you didn’t want to be, just let me know and I’ll never do it again.

#billy russo x reader #billy russo fanfic #billy russo fanfiction #billy russo imagine #billy russo fluff #billy russo

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sunlightmurdock · 8 months

Note

I want to know more about Beau x sunshine!reader, do you have any plans to write about it?

here’s some of what I wrote for it before, I don’t really have too many plans for finishing or posting it

…

“Penny for your thoughts?”

When Beau looks up, seven double measures of whiskey deep, he isn’t pleased to find a bubbly girl and her silly little grin looking back at him. In fact, he immediately scowls, unimpressed.

If this is your attempt at being cute, he isn’t having it. Luckily, you aren’t even trying yet. Just being friendly.

You shoot a glance across at your co-worker, Beth. She rolls her eyes at the miserable bastard on the other side of the bar and turns to give her attention to the patrons in here that might actually give her a tip at the end of this.

He’s been sitting there for a good few hours now. Since before your shift began at four, anyway. You give a small shrug and turn your back on him.

Beau glances up once more. He takes his time to look now that you’re not grinning back at him. When he was younger, he would’ve gone for you. You’re dressed kind of like she used to.

Dylan was saying something the other day about the early two-thousands being back in style, but Beau tends not to listen to his eleven-year old son’s fashion advice. It’s hard to take the kid who only just figured out that maybe wearing his jeans a size too big doesn’t make people think he’s bigger than he is seriously.

Thinking of Dylan snaps Beau quickly back to reality. He peels his eyes away from your short shorts and tank top, instead opting to look at his glass. He’s not sure how old you are, but probably not old enough to be dating a man with an eleven-year old son and a fifteen-year marriage that just went down the drain.

Whilst his eyes are on his almost empty glass, he can’t help but glance down at his wedding band. He’s an idiot for still wearing it. She hasn’t worn it since she told him she was leaving, and that was months ago.

He’s an idiot for thinking that this would all blow over and that she would change her mind.

Beau lifts his glass and finishes the rest, then slams the glass down a little too loudly on the bar. He exhales deeply and pinches the bridge of his nose.

You turn your head slowly as you close the cash register, staring at the clearly devastated man at the end of the bar. You hand the customer their change and find yourself wandering back to him.

“How ‘bout a dollar for your thoughts?”

Beau opens his eyes slowly, staring back at you, completely unimpressed. He’s heartbroken, and a girl like you isn’t going to want to hear about this mess.

“‘Cause yours seem pretty juicy, that’s all,” You shrug playfully, leaning onto the bar with your elbows and smiling across at him. He stares back at you, you realise that a dollar isn’t going to cut it. “Fine, fine — a free drink and you’ll spill?”

Beau’s thick brows furrow slightly. For one, he’s confused on what a pretty, young girl is doing bothering someone his age, and for two — “How come you’re so interested?”

“It’ll make my shift go faster. Plus, my good friend over there and I have a bet going as to whether or not you’re single. She hasn’t noticed the wedding ring yet and once you open up, I’m about to win twenty bucks.”

Beau rolls his eyes. The service in this place has been kind of slow this afternoon. You girls have been busy gossiping away and pissing him off without meaning to. He figures that if he just tells you the half of it, he’ll get that next drink a little bit faster.

He glances down at his wedding ring and toys with it. Finally, he scoffs and pushes his empty glass towards you.

“You owe her a twenty, actually.”

You furrow your brows, but make good on that promise of a free drink, as you turn to grab the bottle. “So, do you wear that thing for fun?”

“My wife left me.” Beau mumbles, his voice deep and sullen. He won’t meet your gaze as he talks, which is a shame, because he’s pretty. Black hair with some silver passing through it. You can tell that he’s the type of guy that’s usually clean shaven, but he’s got a couple of days of scruff on him.

You pour him a little over a double. Closer to a triple. Being the miserable prick that he has grown to be, Beau takes this as incompetence rather than you just being kind to him. But, he doesn’t say anything.

“You must be a real asshole.” You say playfully, lips quirked at the sides. Beau lifts his gaze and stares back at you scoldingly. You grin. “Y’know, because there’s no way she left you because you’re ugly. Not with a face like that.”

He scoffs, shaking his head. Still, it’s been a long time since he was called handsome by a pretty girl in a bar. He lifts his glass and takes a sip of it. Setting it back down, he notices the clear view down your tank top that he’s got and looks back up at you.

“Take your shoes off.” Beau says it before you’re even through the door, tossing his keys down on the entryway table by the door. He walks ahead of you with his shoes on.

You frown slightly, but obey, kicking your sandals off and leaving them by the door. You trail slowly after him, taking your time to be nosey with the pictures on the walls.

There’s an empty frame in the middle. His wife. Beside that, is a picture of Beau. He’s holding two children, one can’t be older than a year old and the other is maybe six. He looks a little younger in this photo but the sun is glaring on it.

You reach out to straighten the frame so that you’ll be able to see it properly.

“Don’t touch that.”

You jump, turning quickly to find Beau at the end of the hall, staring at you.

“Come on.” He turns and you follow again, more obediently this time. He walks you through to the back of the house and opens the door to his office.

He’s sitting back in the leather office chair, one knee crossed over the other.

You trail your fingers over the plaque, his name engraved in it. Turning back to him, you watch as he sets a cigar between his lips and lights it with an expensive looking lighter.

“Thought you didn’t smoke?” You enquire.

He nods and sets the lighter down. He breathes out a puff of grey smoke and pulls the glass ashtray towards him.

“My wife made me quit.” He replies calmly. He’s still wearing that wedding ring, it sits heavily on his ring finger. You cross the office towards him, glancing down at the rug as you feel the soft material under your feet. Him being in your way makes no difference in where you’re headed.

Beau pushes the chair back slightly from the desk as you step past him, nudging the ashtray out of your way, then the keyboard for his computer. You lift yourself up onto the thick, expensive oak desk, sitting in front of him.

That flimsy sundress wouldn’t do much to hide your modesty from where you’re sitting anyway, but Cyclone knows exactly what you’re doing when your rest your feet on his thighs, legs parted just slightly. From where he’s sitting, in his oh-so-important office chair, he’s got a perfect view of the black satin between your legs.

“Your wife made you quit,” You muse, turning and leaning back on one of your palms. With your other hand, you lift the ashtray and examine the fresh ash and the not so fresh ash below that. “But you have an ashtray, and this pretty lighter.”

You set down the ashtray and pick up the lighter. His initials are monogrammed into the silver. He watches as you flick it open, ignite the flame and then flick it closed again.

“I said that she left me, didn’t I?” Beau sits back in the chair and parts his knees further. With your feet resting on his legs, this, in-turn, parts your legs further too.

He has no shame in letting his gaze fall between your legs now, he’s slow in bringing it back up to your face. He exhales another puff of smoke.

You set the lighter down, tilting your head at him.

“Who could leave such a delightful man behind?” You tease, knowing that if he was this miserable when she was still around then she did herself a favour.

Beau raises his eyebrows at you. He’s quiet for a moment, then speaks, “You’ve got an attitude problem, sweetheart.”

“Me? — Have you looked in a mirror recently, old man?” You scoff, pushing at his thigh with your foot. He catches your ankle, just holding it there, letting you know that he’s got you.

Your smirk grows, lips quirking upwards as you lean forwards. You reach out and brush your fingers over his cheek. Your fingertips are soft against his skin. You trail your touch along his temple, gently onto his forehead. You scrunch your brows as you touch the frown lines between his, mimicking the faces he would have made to get them.

Beau catches your wrist with his free hand, taking it away from his face. He squeezes your arm before dropping it, you almost shiver at the gentle enough force. He sets his cigar down in the ashtray and lifts his hand. He does the same, brushing his fingertips over your face. Your cheek, your temple, your jaw. You close your eyes as he touches you.

He sits back in the chair again, knees parted, bringing the cigar to his mouth once more.

You turn and pick up his glass of bourbon. He watches as you swish the liquid around almost carelessly in the glass, right next to his irreplaceable, top secret files. You bring it up and inhale softly.

“Do you like the taste of this stuff?” You ask, not particularly impressed by its smell. The Hard Deck doesn’t stock this kind of bourbon.

Beau nods, exhaling smoke once more. His fingers skim past your ankle and trace the bare skin of your calf. “Three hundred dollars a bottle, I’d sure hope that I like it.”

You hum. Beau watches, intrigued as you take a small sip. You let it sit on your tongue for a moment and then swallow. His eyes fall down to look at that black satin between your legs again, then back up as you hum softly.

“You like it?” Beau asks, brushing his thumb along your calf softly. You give an innocent shrug of your shoulders.

“You want to taste it?” You reply. Beau’s brows scrunch together just slightly, those frown lines reappearing and making you smile amusedly. You push yourself down from the desk and into his lap in one gentle movement, your knees nestled either side of his hips.

You lift the glass and take a small sip of the expensive liquid, then lean forwards. It’s on your lips when you first kiss him. Sweet and smoky, just like he likes it. His big, brutish hand comes up to cup the nape of your neck, holding you against him.

You nip softly at his bottom lip, holding back an excited whimper as he tugs gently at your roots. You caress your tongue against his, the flavour of it now on both of your tastebuds. Notes of caramel and vanilla.

You hum softly, gentle fingers tracing over the salt and pepper coloured stubble on his jaw, “Mm, I think I like the taste of bourbon.”

Beau’s hand trails down your spine, grabbing at your hip, his other hand coming to hold at your other. He pulls you firmer onto him. You grind yourself down onto him slowly.

You can taste the cigar on his tongue, now mixed with the bourbon. As much as you didn’t think you’d like the pairing, you like the way it tastes on him. It tastes like how you’d expect him to taste.

Well aware that you’re about to spill expensive bourbon on his even more expensive rug, Beau takes the glass from your hand and sets it back down on the desk, tugging you closer to him.

He pulls back and tilts your chin. Now that you’ve made it clear that he can have you, he takes a moment to decide whether he wants to take you upstairs and fuck you in his bed, or right here on his desk.

Slipping your hand between your legs, shifting back for better access, his decision is made for him as you stroke your palm over his black slacks. You lift your gaze, looking at him in the eye as you gently graze your touch over his bulge.

Beau’s thumbs stroke slowly over your hips.

He watches your face rather than your movements as you reach forwards and gently slip his belt from the first loop, then move to work open the buckle.

Your attention quickly shifts. Beau raises his brows as you abandon the now unbuckled belt and instead sit forwards to loosen his tie. This repeats, you get halfway through unbuttoning his shirt and move back to the belt. You’re nervous.

Beau catches your busied hands between one of his, holding them still against the leather of his belt. He does the work for you, unbuttoning his shirt the rest of the way and slipping it off of his shoulders, leaving him in a white undershirt and his slacks.

He watches the way your eyes study the material, as you try to make your mind up about what you’re about to do next. He decides for you, taking hold of the bottom of the undershirt, sitting back to lift it over his head and drop it down along with his shirt.

You bite the inside of your cheek softly as you trail your fingertips from his shoulders to his hips, tracing each inch of the newly exposed skin.

It’s been over fifteen years since he was with anyone else. He was expecting not to like this as much as he had liked being with his wife, but there’s a level of intrigue he gets from watching you. He enjoys it.

“Your turn.” Beau decides, thumb brushing against the hem of your sundress. You stand up from his lap. Beau picks his cigar back up and lights it again, watching as you step out of the dress.

He lifts his hand, index finger extended, then motions it in a small circle as he exhales another breath of grey smoke. Your lips quirk as you turn for him, slowing so that he can get a good look at you from behind before you’re facing him again.

…

#beau cyclone simpson #Jon Hamm #Beau Simpson #top gun: maverick #ceasefire

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call-sign-jinx · 2 years

Text

Tangerine ~ You're My Top Priority

Summary: you and tangerine have an argument that ends up with you crying, you go to sleep after getting drugged and when you wake up tangerine confesses something.

Warnings: swearing, fluff, makeout, guns and i think thas it

A/N: hiya babes! if ur reading this i hope u find it great cos i acc enjoyed writing sommet for once. ill probs do more and requests r open so ye. adios hun xoxo

tangerine x fem!reader

To put it simply. I hate Tangerine’s guts. Why? Cause he’s a fucking twat and everyone knows it. Some people are just more tolerable to him than others. Me? I don’t take any of his shit cause I just don’t care anymore. When I were younger, I used to let people take the piss and use me for my kindness but as I grew older, I started to care less. It started to drain me being that nice all the time. So by the time I was about 15, I just... Cracked. What I mean is I realised who used me and who didn’t and the worst of them all was none other than Tangerine himself. He wanted me to do something for him and instead of finally saying no, I just snapped and let out all my anger out on him. Obviously he fought back, but I won anyway. And from that day, we both hated each other.

Now, I’m on a mission with Lemon, and sadly Tangerine, to bring the White Death’s son to him and also to bring a brief case. Simple but also not. I heard that some other people are after the briefcase so when Tangerine mentioned that we wouldn’t keep it with us for the train journey. I obviously had something to say.

“Why the fuck would yer leave it there without one of us ‘olding it? Ahaha you pleb are you ‘aving a giggle?” I tilted my head back as I laughed at Tangerine. Lemon let out a small giggle as he has always loved my accent. Tangerine just pulled a face at me that looked like disgust.

“Do you plan on holding it mate?” Tangerine wanted an argument, and so did I. So I was going to give him one.

“Nah, am not gonna ‘old it, yer 'olding you daft bastard." Lemon couldn't help but burst into a fit of giggles. Tangerine hit his shoulder to try and stop him but all it did was make them go slightly quieter.

"Maybe if you grew a pair Tangerine, you'd get a job done without needing other people to do all the dirty work." I crossed my arms across my chest and Tangerine gave me the dirtiest look he could fathom.

"Who do you think you're talking to Baroness? You're only on our side cause we needed you for one thing then this bastard decided to let you join our 'team'." Tangerine pointed to Lemon angrily and I rolled my eyes as he continued to lecture me while Lemon put a hand on his chest in mock offense. I lay back into my seat and blocked his voice out.

"Oi! Just because you're rich from daddy's money you inherited when he died doesn't mean you have to ignore me you stuck up bitch." That struck a nerve. He knew my dad died when I was 16. I had to get pulled out of school because of it for a bit. He died because of something I did. Something I did cost him his fucking life.

"You know not to talk 'bout ma dad you fucking stupid cunt." My eyes began to tear up and I couldn't hold them in anymore. I stood up and went to the bathroom as far away from Tangerine as I could. I locked the door and sat there for a while. Guess it was long enough for me to fall asleep. I know, why on God's green earth is an agent falling asleep on a mission? I don't fucking know mate, I were just feeling tired since I had that cup of tea that man gave me. Fuck! It has halcian. I thought it were that in his fucking pocket.

I leaned against the wall and my eyes got heavier and heavier with every second. Until... I fell asleep.

When I woke up, I heard shouting and people fighting. I quickly woke myself up and psyched myself up to get ready for a punch getting thrown or a kick to the leg. I quickly opened the door and as soon as I stepped out I was met with silence. I looked to the left of me, and there were men down on the floor. Then I looked to the right, great. It were Tangerine post-fight with sweat glazing his face and exposed chest. God his body looked good in that sui- what the fuck am I thinking? No! He's a fucking prick. But he's a fit prick. Ugh it's fucking confusing.

"Oh my God, Ness! I thought someone had hurt you! Are you alright?" He cupped my cheeks and turned my head side to side to scan for any signs of damage. I rolled my eyes and pushed his gorgeous, veiny hands away from my face.

"Why don't you go get the brief case since thas what yer always worried bout. Fucking cumbag." I went to turn around and leave but Tangerine grabbed my wrist and held me in place. He looked at me and oh. My. God. I never noticed how blue and beautiful his eyes were. Baroness! Stop! He's been a prick since day 1, why now?

"Y/N, what do you mean? I care more about you than the briefcase. I always have. You're my top priority." He cupped my cheeks once again and heat were rising to my face.

"Anyway, besides the point. Where've you been this past hour? We kind of needed you a bit." He gestures his head side to side at the men down on the floor.

"Some fucking wankface man spiked ma drink. Am fucking livid and am gonna knock his lights out." Tangerine's whole demeanor changed. His went from soft and caring to pissed off and looks like he's about to kill everyone in his sight.

"Who the fuck did it? Do you remember what he looked like?" I looked to my left when I saw a figure coming towards us and it was the prick himself. I pointed at him and before I could even say anything, Tangerine pulled his gun out and shot him between the eyes.

"Jesus Christ Tang, bit of a warning next time?" Tangerine quickly put his gun away and apologised.

"By the way Ness, am sorry for what I said earlier. That wasn't called for and I crossed the line." He looked down to his shoes with furrowed brows.

"Tang, its fine. I've said some fucked up shit to you before. Some has been even worse than that and you just act like you don't care when I know it hits a nerve. Plus am tired of fighting all the time. Mates?" I put my hand out for him to shake but when he grabbed it he pulled me closer to him then pressed his lips against mine.

I was shocked at first but then I kissed him back and pulled him as close as possible by placing my hands on the back of his neck. He slowly places his hands on my waist and squeezes them as he does the same.

He swipes his tongue across my bottom lip asking for access. I open my mouth in response and it turns into a heated makeout, until both of us lose our breath.

"I think I wanna be more than mates darling." Tangerine smirks at me and I returned the expression. We then decide to go look for Lemon and head to the bottom of the train as quick as we can.

#bullet train tangerine #lemon and tangerine #tangerine #tangerine and lemon #tangerine bullet train #tangerine imagine #tangerine x reader #tangerine x you #bullet train #bullet train 2022 #bullet train fanfic #bullet train lemon

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vintageaustin · 2 years

Text

Baby fever part 3

Austin!Elvis x reader;

Summary: you and Elvis have been married

For about 3 years now and he thinks its time for a baby

Tw/mentions: pregnancy cursing slight abuse alcohol (not by Austin)

You were about 6 months pregnant now. And it was taking a toll on you and Elvis mostly because of you’re health. That seemed to be going up and down like a roller coaster. It made you’re husband worry sick about you.

And his job wasn’t making it any easier as you’re house was surrounded by press and fans half of the time. And the other half of the pregnancy he wasn’t really there cause of work.

It was a Tuesday night as you heard the door open. The familiar sound of you’re husband his voice. And some laughter you walked towards the end of the hall way.

Watching you’re husband laugh with the usual friends and the colonel he brought home for a drink. You smiled slightly as he walked towards you kissing. You on the lips as the smell of alcohol lingered around him.

Usually you could handle that smell pretty well but since you were pregnant it made. You feel sick you smiled softly. He slurred an “there’s my beautiful girl..why are you awake shouldn’t you sleep it’s good for the baby” he said bending down to kiss you’re growing bump .

You chuckled and stroked his hair softly before speaking “well yea…but you woke me up…you’re kinda loud babe” you giggled. As you looked behind Elvis seeing everyone slowly move into the living room before capturing the special moment you two shared with you’re unborn child. “oh I’m sorry darlin” he said still kissing you’re bump. Southern drawl thick as ever.

You felt a kick right at this very moment. As Elvis gasped loudly you giggled seeing he never. Felt you’re unborn child kick he was either at work or the baby simply wouldn’t kick.

No matter how much you’re husband talked and sang to them. “w-was that?” he asked dumbstruck. As everyone who tagged along watched you in awe.

You nodded you’re head excitedly as you looked at everyone’s. faces everyone looked genuinely happy. For the two of you except one person who thought Elvis was more a walking sloth machine than. A man neither you or the colonel could stand each other and he made that very clear.

Elvis looked up at you then looked back at you’re stomach. “can you do that again for daddy lil’ one? Pretty please..”. he mumbled to you’re stomach but sadly you’re baby had already settled down.

As Elvis and the others sat outside in the garden seeing the weather was surprisingly. Nice you sat inside in the nursery slowly rocking the chair back and forth. As you were knitting another little sweater seeing you. Were due in February but little did you know in the garden. Elvis and the colonel were having quite the heavy conversation.

“she’ll only get in the way of you my boy…besides she has workers here maids an her family..she’ll be fine without you here besides don’t you want to put some money on the table before you’re little wonder arrives” the colonel said. Starring intensively back at you’re husband.

Elvis shook his head “absolutely not. she’s comin’ along with us to Hollywood I ain’t leaving my pregnant wife behind I’ll be damned and it’s definitely ain’t going to fuckin happen i don’t care what you think in this matter.” Elvis snapped at the colonel as he took another swing of his beer.

The colonel nodded his head and excused himself. Going upstairs to use the bathroom. As he came back from his toilet visit he saw you. Slowly making you’re way to your bedroom. He roughly grabbed you’re wrist pulling you aside you groaned loudly “what the hell!! “ you yelled as he. Squeezed you’re wrist harder almost breaking it in the process before speaking.

“listen and listen very carefully to what ‘m bout to say little girl. You’re gonna tell you’re husband that you don’t want to come to Hollywood with him. You’re just useless anyway you’ll only get in-“ he was about to finish his sentence. As you got pulled away in the familiar arms of you’re husband. “get out. Get the fuck out!” Elvis said his smooth voice filled with anger. “but mr Presley we-“ the colonel was about to speak but before.

He could Elvis cut him off “I SAID GET OUT!” Elvis yelled making you jump a bit. “you don’t come into my damn house and treat MY PREGNANT wife in anyway how dare you even touch her now leave we’ll talk later.” He said you could hear how hurt he was but also how angry. The colonel just nodded and left.

Elvis looked at you his face turned from anger to worry “are you okay darlin’ how’s the little one god you’re shakin like a leave did he hurt you badly?”. He asked cupping you’re face into his hands. You looked at him tears streaming down you’re face.

“n-no we’re okay” you stuttered avoiding eye contact. With you’re husband whatsoever “a-am I really just a bother to you?” you asked sadness filling you’re voice.

Elvis looked t you eyes wide as he frowned “what of course not darlin’ you two are the best that have ever happened to me. Better than all the fame the money the fans. If I didn’t have you and our little wonder I don’t know who I’d be darlin’ I married you because you bring the best out of me I wouldn’t know what to do without you…. you are my world.”

he said as he pulled you into a hug “now let’s get ready for bed ye? The others already left anyway”. You nodded you’re head a you made you’re way to your bedroom

Elvis knew that the next four months were gonna be rough for both of you. But he was sure as hell gonna make it work cus no one was gonna take either of his babies away from. Not his fans , not his dad and he sure as hell wasn’t going to let the colonel get any closer to you or you’re unborn child in any damned way.

tag list:

@thecosmoscollectivee @alligator-person @carolinecakes

Hi creator here this is part 3 of baby fever I might make a part 4 depending on how well part 2 does I hope you guys like it feedback is always welcome requests are open and pls let me know if I missed triggers or grammar mistakes

#austin butler #elvis movie #x reader #austin butler imagine #austin butler x reader #elvis presley #austin butler elvis #austin butler fanfiction #austinbutler!elvisxreader #elvis 2022

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hellcatinnc · 3 months

Text

Collar x Malice (Kei & Mineo) Review

Will Include Spoilers

So I decided to go ahead and post my review of Kei & Mineo since the game is about alot of death I'm taking a break and will come back soon and play the other 3 routes for now though Kei is still my favorite even in Mineo's story Kei is still great.

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Kei Okazaki

The moment I first saw him climb through the window I thought he was cute. He originally was my second choice of guys then he started talking and seemed like a pure idiot I questioned if he would be so good after all. I am glad however I went with him because he grew on me fast. The longer I looked at him the more I could say he was drawn so damn pretty, I could look at him all day. He liked to show pda holding hands and that was so damn sweet. Then to find out he is against women being hurt and his loyalty to take care of a special person in his life that he would die for them this really caught my attention about him. His possessive streak was adorable and I loved every time he made comments like only let me in your house, or let me only walk you home, or don't make things for the other guys or when he snapped at Shiraishi told him not to pick on you as well as said he will never give permission to allow it.

He isn't the best with stuff like house work, cooking and such but he will bring flowers, hold hands, snuggle up and watch movies well horror movies with you. He is so sweet that even when you like him he is flirty a bit but the moment you tell him you want him to keep doing it dominant mode kicks in. This I wasn't expecting in him pinning you to the floor or when he makes it clear he wants to be super close to you he is definitely a naughty boy with his partner. He will always jump in front to protect you when anyone tries to harm you, he likes to send cute texts with emojis and call you cause he misses your voice. Honestly these are all the little things that made him such a great guy and my favorite so far.

Only downfall and I know people are wishy washy on is the fact as the mc you also find out he wanted to die all along but for a special person so it was a death worth dying for. I know people question if he ever really loved her until the very end because he was using her. I feel like Kei is naïve, and not the best with common sense at time however a great at his job anything else outside that he lacks. However that being said I think he was in love alot longer than the end he just didn't know what to call it. I mean come on you can't tell me all the times he got jealous as time went on where he didn't want to share his time or even little things like being the only guy in her apartment or snuggles with the movies. I mean even when he was very clear to Shiraishi when he told him to knock off picking at you unless he says its ok then he makes it clear he will never give his say so.

The pinky finger thing and the fact when it comes to crying when he hurts he shows his pain loud and clear. Yes he was just a hurting soul that needed someone to show he was valued and loved also that he deserved to live. He held a grudge in himself cause his partner died protecting him this made him a sad boy. I mean he didn't even understand why your mad at him until you truly have to show him what he is missing. Then the fact your willing to die for him and he almost loses you it bout kills him as he thought your last words was going to be I love you, it about breaks him. Sadly in the bad end it does break him and he wants to die but promised you he would live so he tried even though the bad guy kills you anyways. Honestly its not hard to love him if you love sad boys like me. If I had to compare him to someone I put compare him to piofiore a cross between Dante, Nicola and Leo together. This mans pain brought me to tears in the good and the bad ending his pain is deep and its hard not be suffering with him.

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Mineo Enomoto

At first I thought he would be cool but he was annoying pretty fast and even after about a chapter in his very presence annoyed me. However after I got to his route I really thought he ended up quiet sweet. The blushing idiot type haha but no seriously he is younger than Kei and you can tell it for sure. Like I love how he blushes and gets shy I'm a sucker for these men however Mineo blows it out of proportion at times its not the shy guy part its the annoying practically screaming at you if you call him out on it. Like most shy guys you tell them you know they are into you and they blush harder and get more quiet he is the opposite so after some time it does get to you. He is cute his mumbles as he goes along like when he was drunk and he practically proposes to you the next day, or tells you as you take rice off his face that its what he always wanted a lover to do. These things and the fact he will beat the shit out of someone who tries to hurt you. He shows that when he comes across the guys in the alleyway that are trying to make you strip.

He is a big brother type to his little sister and is absolutely adorable about how he dotes so much about her. Then he has that protective daddy feel to him when he talks about her making me think he would make a good daddy if you could even get this boys virginity in the first place. Its nice he works at trying to get your brother to stop being dick to you, which is so needed. I do like the outcome of your brother and you by the end of this route. I love Kei is still a sweetie even in this route and loves to bust Mineo's balls. He tells Aiji what he sees when Mineo's drunk and yet the way he says it makes it sound like more than what it is. Even to the point later in the game he asks if he was announcing marriage after that. When Mineo practically screams and denies everything, Kei's charm kicks in and tells you to call him Kei as he calls you by your name, this makes Mineo jealous and starts asking you to call him Mineo. Then this dynamic gets weird cause he tells you to call his name again and when you do he wants more I swear dude was getting off on this or at least excited lol.

I really would say he is a bean in the end just has alot of growing up to do. His story with his old mentor getting killed was sad but I'm glad as time went on he was able to heal from that. Also unlike Kei Mineo was not all nice in the beginning he was kind of a ass and when your walking home alone he tells you he won't walk you. That being said when he does care for you he will come back and get you and make sure your ok. He is like a walking contradiction I'm learning that if he loves you or is interested then you have his interest to care if not he doesn't give a rats ass about you. He is a romantic and will take a girl on a date and doesn't mind paying if she wants a nice place to go. I tried to play his route late at night in my house and I either had to wear a headset or mute it cause he was so loud in his route with his screams and freak outs. I would suggest you not play his route anywhere you need to be quiet.

There were moments he was serious like when he confesses his love to you there is no blushing guy no overly loud bullshit just sensitive sweet Mineo that you know is underneath. I do like him but I just can't deal with the constant screaming even when you tell him you love him he seems to think your lying or he is dreaming. I feel like the MC really could see herself falling for Kei I don't think she could see herself falling for Mineo I think she even second guessed herself alot. Even his bad endings weren't really sad per say like I cried nothing and really didn't even feel much the endings. They seemed to be worse endings for the MC not as much Mineo. I hate at one bad ending she loses her brother and goes on a killing the killer. Then the one that was the saddest was when she killed the bad guy but yet fled the town to leave Mineo yet he understood he did it to protect him and he forgave her yet she couldn't forgive herself I felt bad for him only then still no tears though.

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#collar x malice #mineo enomoto #yuzuru saeki #kei okazaki #reviews #review #otome #gaming

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crescentblossom66 · 8 months

Note

Bashes the door

OH SO....

hatkid talking to conductor about timing and him using it in his movies

A mini monster au one shot ft conductor x cookie

Ooh, I really wanted to write some Sugar Rush content so...I hope you don't mind me choosing the second option.

“Are you sure that you want to accompany me, I know you hate don't like having many people around you, and it's a sale, so there will be plenty of people around.” Cookie asked the man that grabbed his keys while making a dismissive gesture with the other hand.

“Eh, it will be fine, I need to head inta town anyway, so, it ain't a big deal.” He reassured as he followed the witch outside. The morning sun had just risen over the horizon and the dipped the the whole town into a lovely orange. It also caused Cookie's red hair to shine even more than usual, it reminded him of orange lilies that he could see on the big field before the final stop on before he'd loop back around with the train.

“My hair looks like a mess, doesn't it? I didn't have the time to wash it this mornin'.” She looked a bit embarrassed and gave a light chuckle as she walked next to him. Her talking had snapped him out of it, he hadn't even realized that he had been staring at her. He focused on looking only in front of him, as to not make eye contact as that would cause even more problems as if merely looking at her would cause his face to heat up. He mentally scolded himself for behaving like a 15 year old teenager in high school having a crush on a girl in his class, he had had a wife for peck's sake! These feelings felt so wrong, like he was betraying the one he had lost, yet Cookie's presence made him happy. It was truly frustrating.

“Are you okay? Are you in pain? You're gritting your teeth, sweetie.” He got startled by her soft voice, and that lovely southern accent she had.

“I-I'm fine. Uh, I was thinkin' 'bout work yesterday. A passenger was bein' a real pain in the backside.” The Conductor explained...even though it was a blatant lie. Cookie didn't seem to have caught on thankfully.

“I know what you mean, I had a rude customer last week. He ordered a gazpacho and complained about it being cold...it's served cold.” The red-haired witch looked a bit annoyed, but quickly shrugged it off. The wereowl quietly sighed in relief after noticing that she hadn't realized what actually bothered him.

The pair soon reached the market, and it was as crowded as Cookie had said it would be. “Great...we'll be stuck 'ere fer years.” The blonde man looked already impatient as he tried to find a way through the crowded streets to their destination, the department store.

He nearly jumped in surprise and visibly flinched when Cookie grabbed his hand to hold. “We'll get lost in this crowd, it's easier to not lose each other like this.” She stated rather plainly and looked completely unbothered as she pulled him with her toward the entrance. It was a good thing she never turned around or she would have seen that her companion was as red as a tomato after feeling her soft and warm hand in his. “So, what was it that you wanted to buy?”

The man was so lost in thought for a moment that the question took three seconds to even register in his brain, and when he tried to answer, his vocal cords disobeyed him. “Uhh...uhm...I...I wanted to buy somethin' fer the red hooded lassie...She's growin' out of 'er old clothes.” He could himself before Cookie caught on and got worried.

“Aw, it's so nice that you take such good care of little Mu, she's had it really rough.” Cookie weaved through the crowd to find the department with the kitchen supplies. “I'm here to buy new wooden spoons they don't scratch up the pans when stirring food, you know. Hattie used them to practice a fire spell, and, they all burned to crisps, as you can imagine.” She looked back at him and laughed softly at the kid's antics.

“Aye, a wee rascal, that one.” He masked his nervousness with a fake chuckle. While Cookie went to buy the new spoons, Conductor went his own way for a bit and bought a new red hoodie for Mu. He hoped she'd be happy about it when he got home and could give it to her. As he exited the kid's clothing section, he noticed a nice, white bobble hat, and he recalled that Cookie had complained about the weather getting cold. He took the hat and checked the material, and found that it was well-made and warm. He decided to buy it for her as a present.

When he was waiting in checkout, standing in a queue of at least ten people, an old memory surfaced, a memory of those that he held so dear playing in the snow...he was once again brought back to reality, but this time by the rather impatient woman that waited for him to hand over the hat and hoddie to check the prize tag. After paying for the item, he joined back up with Cookie who was waving at him near the small fountain in the middle of the department store. “Did you get everything, Conductor?” She had a small bag in her hand and gave him a smile as he joined up with her again.

“Got all of it.-” He rubbed the back of his head. “-took a wee bit longer, got stuck fer ages in checkout.” He reached into his bag and pulled out the white bobble hat. “I...uh...got you a lil something.”

Cookie looked both stunned and happy at the kind gesture. “You...you bought me a hat?” She examine the hat and even put it on.

While Cookie was looking at him with awe and happiness in her eyes, he looked away, trying, and failing, to hide his blush. He stiffened when she showed her appreciation with a soft hug. “You can be so sweetheart.” He hugged her back, for the first time in a long time, he felt happy.

#answer asks #ahit fanfic #ahit cooking cat #ahit conductor #ahit sugar rush #ahit monster au

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liighty · 2 years

Text

Strong Enough

(A/N): Not crossposting this on AO3 but I wrote a scarian oneshot there for doublelife if y’all are interested

(https://archiveofourown.org/users/liighty)

[Not a link, copy and paste if needed]

Anyways, this is my first time writing for Jimmy and Tango (I wrote for Tango once (1) in an rp with a buddy and then never used him again, so if the characterization is poopoo, i sincerely apologize)

Mini Summary: (Pre-Session 3) After the burning of the Ranch, Jimmy starts to doubt himself and everything he’s ever done before. Tango is there to provide some common sense and snap him out of it.

Rating: General I’m pretty sure

Warnings: Panic Attacks, Self-Doubt, I think like a little cursing but I really don’t think there’s anything really bad, also a really stupid pet name

Pairing: DL!TangoTek/DL!Jimmy Solidarity (/r)

Word Count: 511 :sadkermit: (It’s a drabble if you check out my ao3 I have much longer fics i promise)

Fic under cut!

Jimmy hiccups as he clutches onto Tango’s back, holding his soulmate tightly. He sobs quietly, shaking like a leaf, and Tango lets him get his frustrations out as best as he can. It’s only fair, considering all that Jimmy did to calm Tango down after the burning of their ranch.

The cold air running through the newly exposed ranch was the cause of this bout of depression, to nobody’s surprise outside of Jimmy. He thought he had this under control, that this didn’t bother him as much as it should, and that he’d be able to compose himself to be strong enough for Tango. Of course, he was wrong. It’s Jimmy Solidarity, for Void’s sake. When’s the last time he was strong enough for anything?

“It’s- ‘s my fault, Tango- None of this would’ve happened if it weren’t for- if it- I-“

Tango pulls away from their hug and gently yet firmly grasps Jimmy’s face. “Hey, that’s enough outta you! Am I mad? Do I look mad?”

“You were mad earlier…” Jimmy sniffles between sobs.

“Yeah, but not at you. Never at you, Jimmy.”

Tango presses a gentle kiss to Jimmy’s forehead and rests his own head against the spot he kissed. “We’re gonna be okay, alright? I got a plan to get ‘em back, and it’s gonna be great. There’s no need to be sad, okay?”

“…I’m sorry. I should- I’m not…”

“You’re not what, Jim?”

“…I’m not strong. I’m sorry.”

Tango blinks, his red eyes staring at Jimmy as if he just said the sky was green. “I’m sorry, what? You- You don’t think you’re- Jimmy, are you kidding me?! You’re the strongest person I know! I mean, physically, you’re super strong! You can wrangle cows and not have to use leads sometimes, and I think that’s great! Plus, you can pick me up like a princess, and I’ll have you know that I enjoy that very much.”

Jimmy giggles slightly, and Tango grins.

“You’re not just physically strong either, y’know. Last season, it took two people to talk me out of killing Bdubs after he killed me, and I still almost did it! But today? You calmed me down all on your own, and I’m not mad anymore. Well, I am a little still. But that’s not the point! The point is, you helped me. You held my hand while it was scorching hot and kept me from murdering Scar and starting a war. That takes so much strength, babe, and I know it’s hard for you to believe it, but-“

“B-“ Jimmy laughs quietly, “Babe? Did you just call me-“

“Wh…-“

Tango’s ears go bright red, and he quickly stiffens. “I didn’t mean to! I was just- I mean, it- I-“

His tail droops slightly. “…Yeah. I did.”

“Well, I don’t think I can be sad after that. You should call me that more, I think.” teases the blond, pressing a little kiss to Tango’s nose. “Cuddles?”

Laughing, Tango wraps his arms around Tango and pulls him back down onto the bed. “Yeah, you big goof. Cuddles.”

#rancher duo #team rancher #trafficshipping #dlshipping #solidango #solidaritek #jimmango #hehehe mango #uh anyways #why are there so many ship names pls #liighty.txt

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princess-pill-enjoyer · 2 years

Text

Small rant.

I've mentioned this before but I made this acc because the dph subreddit is.. very wishy-washy. Tho if I'm being fair I've noticed people on reddit in general are a lot more cruel anyway..

I remember seeing this ooold ass tifu post about this guy that struggled with brushing their teeth and shit and end up whole breaking a tooth tryna bite a jolly rancher off rip. And even with soooo soo many comments, I can literally count on a single hand how many people weren't ridiculing him about his hygiene/accusing them of lying about having a partner because of the way the dude's breath "must" smell. Shit still pisses me off to this day. He was so self-loathing to the point he was just talking it all and saying he deserved it to anyone tryna defend him

Ah sorry sorry. I'm sure I've mentioned that before way back. That post stays in my mind rent free smh

Anyway I bring that up to say the dph sub is just as insufferable.. if not more so. It frustrates me a lot. Everyone is so eager to be right you know? It's hard to explain correctly

Addiction is not fun. I still feel like a dumbass for landing myself in this predicament I'm in nowadays. If I hadn't had waited this long to care about my future, maybe I wouldn't have backed myself into this corner. Maybe I'd feel more safe to bring it up to people in person

I know at the end of the day my problem is still partially on me. I can explain it away in 1000 diff ways but there are resources and even though it would more than likely change the dynamic of my life for a bit, I more than likely could get help. I know what's trapping me is my own fears with making any sort of trouble or worry for anyone

Tho with all that being said.. my addiction problem does not give anyone the right to treat me like dirt. It just doesn't. Doesn't matter if addiction is wrong. Doesn't matter if I'm caging myself. I am still a person with thoughts and feelings outside my addiction.

Which people on that subreddit seem to not understand. Allll the time you’re seeing people look at dph addicts as dumb teenagers that play up their problem to be like xyz rapper. Or people being disgusted that anyone would ever dare touch the substance after learning more about side effects of it. And the many, many varieties of assholes that think that just because addiction is bad, they can say whatever they want cause because they're "in the right"

When I made this account, I almost entirely stopped using/checking reddit period. The hostility + the basically copy pasted posts you'd get everyday just wasn't helping. Tho I'll occasionally look around in there and keep it moving.

Which is when I saw a long post listing off possible reasons of why people do dph. It's a really big problem in that sub. The mods either never check around or they let it slide cause it's "tough love" or some bs. Either way, it's not uncommon to get the same Why does anyone do dph???? post multiple times a day. Not to say they're all bad. I've seen a few of, while a lil overly black and white, justified posts telling a story about watching benadryl destroy someone. Or some others from people that tried but didn't like dph and was in shock that there's people that still go back to it. Tho with those exceptions in mind, they're few and far between. Most of the time, its someone that has never taken dph themselves being a dick to "snap people out of it" or whatever

Everyone in the comments were relatively on the same page. Everyone was saying like yeah I think that this should be pinned it's annoying to get the same question over and over again. I was mostly just scrolling through kinda in shock there weren't too many people complaining bout it. Til I found the one ofc.

Some dude replied to someone saying it should be pinned with the most cartoon supervillainish mess I've ever seen. The comment was roughly: Yeah I bet you'd like a little dph echo chamber. Well guess what I won't let you so why do you do dph?

Like first of all.. you won't let them... come tf on. You're not some sort of hero for spamming the same question over and over again. I'm sure most ask themselves that all the time. But two.. if you don't want an echo chamber of dph supporters, wouldn't you also not want an echo chamber of dph haters either? Either way, who does it help? It should never be so one or the other and I don't get why people don't understand that. If all it took was a few people being an ass to cure addiction, meth would not be a thing point blank period. The strays meth addicts be catching be wild 😭😭

Anyway, I said that. I said that what's the point of a circle jerk of the same exact question with the same exact answers cause I mean... that's what it is atp. I made sure to mention that the issue isn't that they're being negative about it, the issue is that It's being repeated word for word. Its just spam at that point

To which the dude made a snarky remark about how long but not.. emphasized (?) my response was..? I dunno how to paraphrase that. Basically tryna act like I was soooo angry and I wrote out pages and pages in some sort of rant.. when in reality it was bout... 4-5 sentences. I'd take an sc but I only just started to go through my older comments/posts to make myself more anon. Tho my acc ain't too hard to find if you're super curious. But either way, nowhere near the monstrous walls of texts I post here

And to top it off.. dude ended that off saying that they hope that they schedule 2 dph specifically so my life is more difficult. THAT is what pissed me off enough to write here. That comment perfectly sums up the problem i have with reddit and self appointed vigilantes in general. Why would you want that for me? The schedule 2 thing, sure. I even expressed in past comments that I think it should be more restricted due to how many better alternatives there are for otc allergy meds/how it's linked to an increased risk of dementia even with the recommended dosage. That's totally fine. But why would you want me to suffer more plain cause I have an addiction?

It's so.. stupid. That's all I can word it as. Pick a side atp. Are you being a dick to me to “snap me out of it” or do you view me as scum that deserves misery?

It makes me seriously question to morals of people at times. I swear as soon as people feel like they're in the right they can do and say whatever. It reminds me of early-mid 2010s era yt, whered you have video after video bullying "feman--is" or other cringe (😑) groups. If it were just addressing the points/inconsistencies and shit that'd be one thing. But when half your gripes are based on random ass assumptions and being a judgmental dickwad, you don't get to play as the hero. I don't get why people want that safety net so badly. If you view all addicts as horrendous people whatever, say it. What’s the point of pointing and laughing at us and pretending you’re doing it for our own good?

Ah. I'm sure it'll be something I'll think on throughout the years. That whole subreddit is a dumpster fire. I'm sometimes tempted to fake my sobriety purely to have more merit standing up to people like that. Since apparently nothing the junkies say is worth considering ig

I wish I could make everyone appreciate neutrality more.. sheesh

#vent #misc

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todayisafridaynight · 10 months

Note

I wanted to write in about my thoughts on Jo as a CSA survivor separately for a couple of reasons:

I already more or less have what I have to say on the topic in order thanks to talks with @starssystem and another friend [<3]

This is a massive tonal shift from anything else I could be discussing

This Is Massive In General For The Love Of God PLEASE Help Me

Obvious CSA CW for anyone else reading; I only discuss statistics, psychology, and the aftereffects seen in survivors here, but it's worth a warning.

With the disclaimers out of the way… I'd mentioned before I've only ever added one thing to Jo's background, and you were right: this is it! To me, there's so much thematic overlap in Jo's narrative with the experience of surviving CSA it's worth it to examine his character through the lens of that being the case. Of course, there are clearly-stated reasons for it all that Aren't That, but…

It's the pervasive guilt and shame, the lifelong secret that becomes too unbearable not to tell, the faulty coping mechanisms aimed at burying the trauma without having to face it, the reluctance to be sincere [vulnerable] and the lies and half-truths used to maintain the facade of invulnerability, the pursuit of power and control and the knee-jerk anger response when it's threatened, the pursuit of mastery over his body and the indifference to what happens to it. And the way a lot of it really does stem from a deeply traumatic childhood sexual experience from before either he or Ikumi understood what they were getting into, from before they could give informed consent.

Statistically, the further below the average age someone is for their first time, the likelihood of [at best] having been introduced to sex inappropriately and [at worst] having been abused at the time or earlier rises exponentially. Jo was 15 when Masato was conceived--possibly 14, since he was saying he "met" Arakawa at 15, and by then Masato was already born. To put this into perspective, since what ages register as concerning is largely cultural, the average age in the US and UK is 16-18. But in Japan, it's over 19.

To a Westerner [or even a heavily Westernized non-Westerner], having a kid at 15 is unfortunate, but not untenable; you've seen it on TV, you might know people like that, you might even be that kid or that parent. But in Jo's case, with him being 4 or 5 years younger than average, it's like if someone told you they had their first time--had a /kid/--at 13 or under. That's the equivalent discrepancy. That /is/ concerning, to me.

It's also something that's linked to negative outcomes in adulthood, partly because of the likelihood of forming bonds with poorly-adjusted peers. Jo specifically states he and Ikumi were only together because others who came from backgrounds like his own were all he had back then. [As an aside, it's interesting to see him instinctively seek out a relationship where his pain would be understood without having to say anything--or one where he could assume it would, at any rate.]

When it comes to his relationship with Ikumi, I've always felt there was this "adult dynamic" between them--in the sense it feels like one that'd be more fitting for adults to get into than a couple of teens. It was, based on his wording, a primarily physical relationship neither of them expected to last even if they were living together. To me, it's one thing if you're fully convinced you're in love or you're experimenting or whatever and that results in an unplanned pregnancy, but it's another thing entirely to have such a bleak yet objective outlook on your relationship so young.

And it didn't have to be that way. He could've been just like Arakawa, head-over-heels in love with this girl who was The Only Good Thing He Had Going, or something like that. But the sheer contrast between how Arakawa was crazy about Akane and never forgot about her for the rest of his life, while Jo more-or-less-clearly didn't have feelings for Ikumi and can't bring himself to remember her name after living with her for at least a year and experiencing life-changing events with her…

It's notable to me that Arakawa maintains an interest in women while nearly every in-character interpretation I've seen makes Jo averse to women. Obviously, we don't really know that; it's probably just based on his general attitudes, his contrast with Arakawa, and maybe his immunity to Charm. But I think there's a reason a lot of people pick up on it and tie it to trauma rather than/in addition to a lack of interest in women.

I've talked about this through the lens of comphet already [and Jo being gay or ace or both would present other difficulties], but I can't overstate how notable it is on its own. We see Jo's response to traumatic events, and it's to become preoccupied with them, to investigate further if he has any leads. That's why he remembers every minute detail of the night Masato was born and the time he saw Arakawa attempt to comfort Masato when he was crying and hitting himself. I think it's also why he gets as far as he does when looking into Arakawa's death, and why he entrusts the search to Ichi. He never seems to manage to block them out, even if that's what he'd rather do--even if that's what he thinks he's doing.

So if he "[doesn't] even remember" the name of the mother of his child, I get the feeling there's something more going on. Like I've [probably] said in the past, Jo genuinely sounds traumatized by the relationship as a whole. More than anything else he's been through, and he's been through a lot. It's often the case that CSA survivors who are also survivors of other trauma view it as worse than anything else that happened to them.

And that's not to implicate Ikumi at all, I don't think it's a case of COCSA--everything I've said holds just as true for her, and she had to suffer the additional trauma of an unwanted pregnancy and childbirth, at that. Rather, I think it would make sense for something like CSA, which often incontrovertibly reconfigures one's relationship with sex and love, to be a factor in why they rushed into a something physical before they were mature enough to handle it.

Some victims end up having perfectly healthy experiences, some victims end up avoiding them, some victims end up re-victimized, and some victims end up with a mixed bag--there's a lot of variation. But some victims do end up having relationships like this and making mistakes like this, because that's all they know, or because they want to heal but don't [or don't know how to] go about it in a healthy way, at a healthy pace. And I definitely think if you recognize that's what the basis of your relationship was, that it all comes back to something you'd rather forget, it'd make sense to want to forget the relationship as a whole.

To that end, it's possible to come away from a relationship traumatized even if no one did anything wrong. I've [probably] talked about how the way Jo comforts her at the station feels like he's doing it for her sake and pushing his own feelings down, but neither of them is really buying it. If that's a pattern in their relationship, perhaps he wouldn't have been able to communicate if maybe what they were doing was dredging up bad memories, if he wanted to stop but didn't think she did. So to go through with it, then get the news months later…

Either way, the fact Ikumi couldn't bring herself to tell him she was pregnant until nothing could be done would, for Jo, invariably cement the feeling he has no control over what happens around him. I think the sense of powerlessness he felt is why he blew up at her when she told him, because it's really the only time we see him lash out like that at her. At the park, he objects to going back for Masato, sure, but he's passive. And I think that unbroken pattern of powerlessness in his life [which CSA would only compound on] is why he's so reactionary, why he's so emotionally dysregulated, why he expresses his rage through what basically amounts to power-tripping.

But I do think Jo does have a great deal of awareness. A lot of his wording when he's telling Ichi about it borders on poetic, or at the very least candid and effective. That requires both prior reflection and a command of language. I think there's a lot he understands deep down, at least after sitting with it for long enough, but he isn't capable of voicing--or doesn't know how to voice--what's on his mind, most of the time.

So when he joins the Arakawa Family, when he rises the ranks and has that control back, his control has to be near-absolute. If it's undermined in any way--such as, for example, a certain someone failing to answer a call within two rings--he loses it. On the other side of the coin, I do feel a lot of why his devotion and gratitude towards Arakawa goes to the extent it does, why he's so comfortable with him, is because Arakawa gave him the safety of the Arakawa Family, gave him back his autonomy, gave him the environment--and treated him with enough humanity to give him the reason--to learn to regulate himself, to better himself.

And Arakawa /gets/ trauma. He really does. Aside from his own abusive background, literally the only time the word trauma comes out of any character's mouth in this series, it's Arakawa's. It comes back to Jo saying others who came from backgrounds like his own were all he had; that never changed, did it?

Lastly, For Funsies [<- LIE. COMPLETE LIE. TURN BACK NOW] I wanted to go through the items on this [CSA] Survivors' Aftereffects Checklist I could check off with near-certainty. 19/34, by the way, give or take. Now, as I said at the beginning, there are existing concrete reasons for why he has many of these experiences… but it's like the trans allegory with Masato, To Me… If I can check off over half the list based on a very limited backstory and an hour of screen time total, that's indicative of a notable overlap… TO ME…

Note that the book this list is from was published in 1990 and focuses on women's experiences. It was a huge step forward in giving survivors a voice back when a lot of existing research indicated CSA had neutral or even positive effects on children, but it's definitely a product of its time. With that out of the way…

Wearing a lot of clothing, even in summer […]

To be fair, most male characters in RGG are fully-covered and have near-unchanging designs, and it's winter in both 2000/2001 and presumably 2019, but… when it comes to Jo, it feels a little different.

He does have Some Heavage in his twenties [although the necklace takes the attention off of his actual chest], but as time goes on, he shows less and less skin and adds more and more layers. When he has the gloves on, it leaves no skin exposed at all, and there's this direct symbolic correlation with secrecy that isn't there for other characters. And if you're wearing three layers of leather [or even one], you can neither feel what you're touching nor feel anything touch you.

Pure Speculation, but I just can't really see him underdressed for any occasion… That's why his fit in Day with the Sun is funny as hell but also… yeah…

As a behavior, if it's rooted in anything, it's probably rooted in having to hide signs of physical abuse, of course--but then he kind of already had an excuse, with how he was constantly getting into fights. I guess it depends on the specifics, but I think it's interesting to consider this as one way CSA victims attempt to regain control of their bodies, avoiding emotional discomfort at the cost of physical discomfort.

Self-destructiveness

It's nothing super overt, but I see this most clearly represented in his second boss fight in particular; his willingness to wield a blade bare-handed while using enough force he could very well render his hand useless. I think it's potentially also evident in how he has severe cataracts he chooses to ignore and allow to worsen, despite having the reasons and resources to undergo surgery to restore his vision. In doing so, he literally and figuratively blinds himself to so much.

I also kind of think the assassination of Hoshino/the anonymous call and The Eye Scene are examples of self-sabotage. I mean, he literally was sabotaging himself in the former, but it's also the specific way he feels the need to be physically taken down in order to be stopped--possibly a holdover from RGGJo, who's only too happy to be beaten into a coma.

I don't know… It's hard to pinpoint, but I feel like he would be averse to most of the more "obvious" self-destructive behaviors--especially when he has people in his life who might notice and worry, like Ikumi and Arakawa. That and because many of them are addictive. He's seen what that's done to his father, and he's also developed this incredibly rigid sense of discipline he can't maintain if he doesn't have a clear head.

From how he talks about himself [as having lost his humanity and lived a half-assed life], I definitely think he's at the very least unkind to himself, but I also think he does externalize it by provoking others to harm him [in the case of physical fights] and reject him. Like he needs some kind of proxy perpetrator. For some abuse victims, this specific manifestation of self-destructive behavior is a way to regain control--whether or not you "deserved it" back then, you do now, as a direct, logical result of your actions.

Need to be invisible, perfect, or perfectly bad

I think each of these needs manifests in different ways for Jo. The need to be invisible can be seen with authority figures (mainly Aoki, but also Arakawa in The Yubitsume Scene, a little; how drastically he pulls back and tries to act "normal")--this relates to what you were talking about with being reluctant to intrude or take up space. If you fall under the radar, maybe you won't get hurt.

The need to be perfect can be seen in his seemingly "impossible" standards, I would say. Of course, because we see things from Ichiban's perspective, we tend to see them as unfair and often arbitrary demands. But they aren't arbitrary to Jo, are they? They're standards he holds himself to through and through. If you're good, maybe you won't get hurt.

The need to be perfectly bad can be seen in and relates to much of what I discussed under self-destructiveness [The Eye Scene and the way he antagonizes Ichiban specifically by making himself out to be worse than he is]. If you must get hurt, it can at least "make sense"--be "deserved."

Suicidal thoughts, attempts, obsession (including "passive suicide")

Obviously he's not like… Mine Levels Of Overtly And Consistently Suicidal, and he doesn't attempt suicide himself, but at the same time, I have to note his total ambivalence towards Aoki seeing him as a "bullet" (a kind of hitman sent on suicide missions). He agreed to what he himself viewed as a suicide mission and he didn't care what would happen to him afterward, as he says to Joon-gi, Zhao, and Adachi.

Aside from that, I certainly feel he's at least had passive thoughts like wanting to disappear or wishing he'd never been born. Y'know. Nothing concrete, but reflective of his mental state, and just as detrimental to dwell on long-term.

I think there's a sort of childishness [for lack of a better word] to thoughts like these [in that they're impossible], but also a level of maturity in that it probably doesn't escalate to something more actionable because he understands he has responsibilities he can't abandon. I think if he was ever seriously suicidal, it would be at the points of his life where he really didn't have any responsibility to anyone, like between Ikumi leaving and him joining the family, or after he was arrested.

Depression (sometimes paralyzing) […]

I'm trying not to over explain going forward because I Have BEEN Overexplaining It Is SUCH A Disaster… he's depressed If You Have Eyes And/Or Ears… I'll leave it at that…

Anger issues; inability to recognize, own, or express anger; constant anger […]

Lol

Rigid control of one's thought process; humorlessness or extreme solemnity

Relates back to what I was saying about how disciplined he is [and expects everyone else to be], but in general, he's incredibly, incredibly serious and focused. I don't think he's /entirely/ humorless [but then again, very few people are]; I just think his specific sense of humor is. Like. What Is Your Problem [I Know What Your Problem Is I Have Been Discussing It In EXCRUCIATING Detail But What The Fuck Is Your Problem]

Trust issues; inability to trust (trust is not safe); total trust; trusting indiscriminately

That's why he was planning on taking his secret to the grave, isn't it? It was only when faced with the realization it would soon be too late to say anything that he was able to tell Ichiban. He could've trusted Arakawa, should've been able to, but… in his mind he never could.

This book [and this checklist] is about "incest" actually, but it redefines "incest" to mean any instance of CSA perpetrated by any individual the victim trusts or has an expectation of being able to implicitly trust. Which… is most CSA as we understand it today, so I've edited some parts to just say that.

Anyway, I've never given much thought to the specifics of what Jo might've experienced--who did it, what happened, how long it went on, etc.--so there's no conclusion I can draw here [and elsewhere, I'm sure]… but even without that, to grow up unable to trust the one person who should be in his corner, his father, and to have his trust betrayed by Ikumi, it's no surprise Jo ended up like this either way. So… I'm happy he had the courage to tell Ichi, in the end.

High risk taking ("daring the fates"); inability to take risks

I think these are supposed to be mutually exclusive, but to me, Hoshino's assassination and Arakawa's assassination represent both sides of the coin, although they're not the only examples. There are risks Jo won't think twice about taking and risks that paralyze him.

Boundary issues; control, power, territoriality issues; fear of losing control; obsessive/compulsive behaviors (attempts to control things that don't matter, just to control something)

Lol…

Guilt, shame; low self-esteem, feeling worthless; high appreciation of small favors by others

Lmao Even…

Feeling demand to "produce and be loved"; instinctively knowing and doing what the other person needs or wants; relationships mean big tradeoffs (love was taken, not given)

I actually think this encapsulates a lot of what I've been saying about his work ethic, his ideas of discipline, and his relationship with Ikumi, but I also think it's why Masato took a liking to him. His attentiveness. It ties back into wanting to be perfect; when you're abused--especially long-term--you become attuned to observing and responding to any shifts in mood or tone. This is another area where I can't draw any conclusions relevant to my point, but it does certainly relate to his father's abuse, at any rate.

Abandonment issues

Kind of contentious… The anticipation of being abandoned by or losing someone he cares about appears to be worse than the actual experience. He's fine with Ikumi leaving him, and he's… not Fine With, but able to come to terms with Arakawa's death and Aoki's abandonment of him. At the same time, he really does try to make Ikumi's stay in his life comfortable, and he spends almost forty years doing his damnedest to keep his family together, whatever the cost. If I were to extrapolate from RGGJo, though, /he/ does have an obsessive, unhealthy attachment to Arakawa.

Blocking out some period of early years (especially 1–12); or a specific person or place

Ikumiiiiii that's what I'm SAYINGGGG

Feeling of carrying an awful secret; urge to tell, fear of its being revealed; certainty no one will listen; being generally secretive […]

Rofl Perhaps…

Denial; […] repression of memories; pretending; minimizing ("it wasn't that bad") […]

He admits to it himself. Not much else to say. Though I don't think he necessarily minimizes what he's been through by dismissing how bad it was; rather, he tends to overestimate his ability to move past it.

Pattern of ambivalent or intensely conflictive relationships (intimacy is a problem; also focus shifted from [CSA] issues)

Also kind of contentious… we don't see a pattern of romantic relationships, as I assume the author meant here, but at the same time, the romantic relationship and non-romantic relationships we do see fit this pattern. I guess I'd say I definitely think intimacy /would/ be a problem, and he /wouldn't/ be ready to address his issues.

Limited tolerance for happiness; active withdrawal from happiness, reluctance to trust happiness ("ice=thin")

The quote that prompted this ask in the first place. It's sort of connected to the point about humorlessness and extreme solemnity; if that was the "what," this is the "why." He doesn't know how to relax ["holidays don't exist" and all], he doesn't have much to be happy about, but even rarer is the occasion where he doesn't feel too conflicted in the moment to be able to enjoy himself. That's just how I see him.

[…] verbal hypervigilance (careful monitoring of one's words); quiet-voiced, especially when needing to be heard

EXACTLY what I was talking about in this ask, so I'm leaving that one up to past me…

......

... That's It That's The Essay I'm going to hibernate until Infinite Wealth comes out and somehow refutes my points but UNTIL THEN. Farewell, take care, and once more, don't worry too much about matching my energy… Like I Said if I were the one receiving this ask I'd just delete my blog, so… I'll just be happy to know you read it :] If That lmao

ok i read it :) 👁️👁️ READMYTAGSTHERESMORETHEREIPROMISE

#long post #cw csa #doublin up to add cw warnins in the tags just in case <3 lemme know if i should throw more tags down here..... im bad at cw tags....#i forget my bookmark tag for asks from you i stg if i cant find this ask in the future im kmsing (in minecraft) immediately #snap chats #THE SNORT I MADE AT THE DEADPAN 'LOL'☠️ maybe i SHOULDVE put text In The Main Text i have A Lot of Thoughts..#im leavin the main text empty since. ngl i was just gonna compare/contrast to myself again... and say a lot of what weve said b4..#UNFORTUNATELY a lot of the things listed here uhmmmm Hm <3 Uh Oh <3 i do understand. Dare I Say personally. just a bit #I DO HAVE TO DISCLAIM ive never been a survivor of THOSE circumstances or really. any abuse tbh- brain just sucks and im a baby #and i cant say no BUT ANYWAY I HAVE REASONS FOR BEIN AN EGOTIST I SWEAR its cause I Somewhat had those exps/i understand them #i can REAAAALLLYY easily see where your points are coming from.... very easily even... like very in-depth..#even if i didnt cry bout spilled milk every other day it IS clear to see the signs of abuse in sawashiro once you know them #i've def talked bout those aspects of him whether in tag rambles or in streams or have Attempted to express it via fics #so really the bits to chew on for me esp this time round is the more CSA aspects #tbh when it comes to bein unable to see him intimate or 'underdressed' i agree: incredibly hard for me to imagine #the thing with 'symptoms' of abuse is that they kinda overlap i guess ??#in that regard it can either be a need to impress or protect himself/needing to be seen less #when it comes to doing certain things because of CSA i could see it as a result of another abuse too. if that makes sense #THOUGH THAT ISNT TO DISCREDIT THE IDEA nono cause there still exists the Now That I Think About It circumstances of masato #even if we look at it through Western Norms(TM) two- essentially homeless- kids having. A Kid is still bizarre #cause again teen pregnancies generally happen as a result of Bein Irresponsible With A Schoolmate- not that other situations cant exist #but thats the most common innit so. def an aspect to consider. All Things Considered. esp jo's self-separation from ikumi #BUT YEAH i feel like if i try to respond im just gonna end up typing up a textbook bout abuse since. UNFORTUNATELY #childhood psychology is my field of interest. and aint no one readin THAT phat thing. esp when ill prob repeat myself or you ☠️#tbh remindin meself of when i said id write psyche papers on mine and/or jo.... oops 👀💋👀 savin this to steal notes from LOL #i hope yo know i WAS thoroughly intrigued reading this. As Ive Said childhood psyche is Literally My Field and this is v thorough and good #so im always interested in readin bout How X Caused Y in Z... very interesting many MANY things to think about.. ty...#forever cursed to be an idiot cause i really wish i could talk better and say somethin of substance.. ik you said its fine but still..#im always open to chat bout this more if youd like PLEASE dont think my lack of Main Text is disinterest Im Just Stupid. But We Know That

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kharti · 1 year

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[ My Eyes Only #11 ]

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Ed had really just wanted to have a nice first date like a normal person, get to know Israel more.

( Continue reading on AO3 or... )

Ed had really just wanted to have a nice first date like a normal person, get to know Israel more.

But he just couldn’t keep himself in check when Iz was sitting there, nervous and his tits on display in that too-tight shirt.

“So, Iz,” Ed said, tapping a finger against the side of his glass. “Think y’can get yer cock out under the table?”

Iz eyed him with a distinct nervousness in the way his cheek twitched. “Right now?”

“Yep.” Ed grinned. “C’mon, the tablecloth’s to the floor.”

Iz didn’t move at first, just staring at him. And then Ed saw the shift of one arm, and a grin broke out across his own face.

Shit fuck, he was really going to do it.

The look on Iz’s face was strained, a clear attempt to keep his composure as he slowly worked his pants open. Ed saw the flicker of both pleasure and anxiety the moment he freed himself, and Ed held his tongue between his teeth as heat surged through his lower stomach.

“N—” Iz’s voice hitched and his eyes darted to the side. “Now what?”

Ed shrugged one shoulder, lifting the glass to his lips. “We talk a bit, an’ if y’feel like it, y’stroke.”

“Talk.” Iz swallowed. “About?”

“How much I want t’slip under this table an’ suck you off, for starts.” Ed winked.

Iz’s shoulder twitched, and Ed imagined the way his fingers stuttered over his cock.

“Tell me more,” Iz said with a familiar huskiness to his voice.

Yeah, he was as turned on as Ed was.

Ed leaned back in his seat and hummed in thought. “It’s a gorgeous cock. Want t’feel it grow hard on my tongue, get that first taste of cum right as it dribbled out.”

Iz didn’t speak, but his lips did part with a quiet huff of an exhale.

“Suck on it a bit, ‘til the waitress brought our meals. Make y’try t’eat yer food while yer cock’s down m’throat.”

Iz stuttered as he tried to say something, but the sound got lost when he clamped his mouth shut.

“Think y’could do it? Use a fork an’ knife? Chew an’ swallow? Focus enough t’eat when I’m swallowin’, too?”

“No,” Iz breathed out.

Ed grinned and paused to take a sip of his wine. “I’d love t’know what’s goin’ on down there right now.”

“You know what’s going on,” Iz growled, his eyes darting away. His shoulder twitched, and his arm hinted at the movement Ed could imagine just fine.

“Tell me anyway.”

A visible shiver coursed through the man, and after a pause, he spoke in a low voice that sounded like it had been raked over coals, “I’m jerking off like a teenager in a restaurant because a focking twat told me to.”

Focking. Iz had a way of talking that Ed couldn’t quite describe, but god, he loved it.

“Only ‘cause I told you to?” Ed drew a finger along the rim of his wineglass. “Well, if y’ve got no agency, then this isn’t much fun fer me.”

Iz rolled his eyes and slumped back in his seat with an almost adorable petulance to his expression. “Are you really going to focking make me talk?”

“Said we could talk a bit, if I recall,” Ed said with his best purr.

“Fine,” Iz snapped, and a red flush started to crawl up his neck and spread across his chest. “I’m jerking off because you’re a fucking wet dream.”

Ed had to take a moment to catch his composure before it fled and he leapt across the table, because being called a wet dream in Iz’s husky voice was its own fucking wet dream. The words God, I love you almost tumbled out of his mouth, and that was a thought he’d unpack later.

For now, he had to focus on Iz’s pleasure before the man blushed himself into oblivion.

“So y’d like it if I could reach under the table an’ stroke you m’self.”

Iz swallowed, his throat bobbing. “Y—Yes, god, yes.”

“Better get back to it an’ put that imagination to use, then.” Ed ran his tongue along the back of his teeth. “Still thinkin’ ‘bout how good it’d be to choke on your dick right now.”

Iz paused, then his arm twitched, and he was back at it, much to Ed’s delight. “How good?”

Ed hummed to feign thought, as if he wasn’t already imagining it in vivid detail. The flared crown rubbing over his tongue, the sensation of it hitting—

Ed’s eyes widened briefly. Shit. He’d forgotten all about putting it in. He shifted in his seat to lean forward, resting his chin in the palm of one hand. “So good, Iz. Yer beautiful cock would feel great on my tongue.”

And then he opened his mouth to let his tongue slip out just enough that the fake candlelight caught his piercing.

Iz’s arm stuttered enough that it actually bumped the table. “Fucking hell!”

“Careful, or y’ll get us caught.” Ed grinned. “Move your elbow, not your shoulder.”

“When the fook did you—get that?”

Ed curled his tongue to press the tip to the little round piece of metal at the center. “Sixteen. Take it out fer work. Y’know, professionalism.”

Sweat was visible along Iz’s brow, his eyes locked on Ed’s lips, staring with a distinct hunger that Ed couldn’t resist opening his mouth in a feigned yawn to flash the piercing again just so he could watch the shiver rock Iz’s body.

“Mandatory.” Iz was anything but subtle as he stroked himself now, and Ed could just picture his hips lifting off the seat. “It’s—fuckin’ mandatory to wear it to work now.”

Ed chuckled and reached across the table; Iz leaned in and, without a second thought, took Ed’s thumb in his mouth. Then realization broke across his face and he recoiled, eyes darting to the side with momentary panic.

“Can we—”

“Get th’fuck out of here?” Ed stood up and raised a hand to flag their waitress. “Put yer dick back in your pants long enough for us t’get to yer car.”

( next )

📚 view a list of all my current stories!

#our flag means death #ofmd #edizzy #izzyed #alternate universe #office au #my eyes only - office au ficlets

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ducknotinarow · 1 year

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Casey knew he was being stupid. Of course he did. And he would tell Raph what happened, he just needed a minute to freak the fuck out internally, and maybe get a little push, and he'd open that stupid mouth of his and talk about all his stupid little thoughts. Alas, his silence was causing him more trouble than anything. Face scrunched up when Raphael called him Arnold, and he huffed and glanced away when the questions came. When they asked if he wanted to break up with them, Casey's head snapped up, eyes wide like a deer trapped in headlights as he finally said something,

"WHAT?!" He exclaims, "Course I don't wanna break up with yer Raph!"

With how Casey was reacting, one would think Raph had just admitted to killing his sister or something,

"I'd rather die right fuckin' now, than go a day without yer in my life..."

Well, that cleared up that part of the conversation, but Casey had yet to budge. So Raph went on, talking about his eyes and Casey felt his heart sink. It's not easy to hear Raph speak about himself in such a way, and Casey's first instinct was to tell him he was wrong. But, well, Casey knew that would just pissed Raphael off even more. He does, confirm something though,

"Nah...yer got the metaphor right," Casey mutters, "Yer are special t' me Raph, the mos' special person in my life, somethin' I been lookin 'for, like how people look for gems, like emeral's."

He really needs to stop being so damn stupid.

"Look, it aint anythin' yer done, it's just Casey being stupid," He talks about himself, "Yanno those weird grey face mutants, nonnie's or anon's or they got all sorta names, the ones that like never go away, will randomly ask yer thin's an' yer feel inclined t' answer no matter how personal, that also gets random info on yer from somewhere, those guys?"

He knows Raph has dealt with them, they all have! They were both fun and annoying,

"A-anyway, one of 'em foun' out 'bout the journal, the spicy one, the one with me, yanno, suckin' yer off," Casey tells him, "An' they foun' out that, well, I was writin' those since we met, that I already wrote 'bout mutant fuckin', an' when we met, I started puttin' yer name an' face t' said mutant, despite us only bein' frien's at the time," He explains, "I didn't think it was weird 'til that no-face an' now I've been feelin' weird 'bout it."

Okay, Casey explained what happened, but, it didn't explain why he was doing all this tonight. Shying away, trying to escape. It takes him a moment, Casey swallowing,

"An' 'cause of it, I started thinkin' that, maybe, 'cause yanno 'bout the journal, yer'd start thinkin' I started datin' yer 'cause of the physical stuff, an' not the romantic stuff, an' yeah yer hot as fuck but I started worryin' that yer gonna think I only care 'bout the cuddlin' an' fuckin' an' not the fact I love yer an' got kids with yer an' wanna spen' the rest of my life with yer."

Casey has to stop, taking a deep breath, that was a lot of speaking. Taking in some air, he shakes his head. He raises his hands to his eyes, pressing his palms to them as he lets out a groan,

"An' I dunno why I think that 'cause I know yer don't think that!"

He drops his hands to his lap, it's clear Casey is more pissed off with himself than anything else. He moves off the bed, walking towards Raph. Not to leave, nah. But to seek what he always needs from them, physical touch. Because he knows better, he's just being beyond stupid. Casey leans down until his forehead is pressed to Raphael's own; these little bumps always felt nice,

"It aint nothin' t' worry 'bout, it's just Casey being extra stupid," Casey tells him, "I love you Raphael, I aint ever wanna lose that, ever want yer t' think I don't."

| contuined from [ here ]

"WHAT?!"

Raph near flinches with how high pitch Casey's voice got from that question alone. The look on their face made him regret EVER suggesting it of course it did. But well what else was he meant to think in this moment? He could never think of a time where Casey and him had ever been apposed to touching one another. Hell they always were man handling each other even just as friends. So when he kept pulling away near running. Raph felt rejected. He should be used to that yeah. They could pretend all they wanted but Raphael was by all definitions of the word a monster. Like how humans looked and saw him if they caught glimpse of him. They ran in terror at the sight. It why he maybe feed in so much into how Casey just was with him.

How those dark eyes smolder when they leaned in closer, always linger by Raph. Always wanting the affection. So yeah it hurt. It hurt a lot when he was actting like this and Raph just wasn't one to beat around the bush.

"Course I don't wanna break up with yer Raph!"

The look on Casey face made it seem like Raph had confessed some like awful lind he crossed just now, like he killed Casey sister even. Raph couldn't help but mirror the wide eyes back. Even with the ping of relief that came with that shout.

"I'd rather die right fuckin' now, than go a day without yer in my life…"

Raph near left his spot at the door the second Casey said that. Considering what Raph knew about Casey and their claim to walk into the woods. With Casey clam himself Raph went ahead and offer up a truth to himself. Raph it wasn't exactly a secret he held some hate for himself in him. The surprise would be that he used to be so much worse surprisingly worse. Even when it came to his eyes. Mikey who share blue eyes with Leo. Though Mikey's were more like the sky. Where Leo's were a bit more vibrant told him they were great and well Mikey always seemed happy, always seemed to have a better outlook than Raph could muster. Splinter said green eyes were unqie and not many had them who share brown eyes with Donnie. Splinters were a bit more warm and Donnies? hmm Raph couldn't explain it he always found Donnie's stare to be kind though.

And it worked it helped a bit but also, showed him how much they stood out even more. Then Casey called them emeralds and he felt. Wanted.

"Nah…yer got the metaphor right,"

If it weren't for the tension in the room, Raph was sure he be blushing at that. Even if Casey muttered his ears were trained to his voice so he caught it right away.

"Yer are special t' me Raph, the mos' special person in my life, somethin' I been lookin 'for, like how people look for gems, like emeral's."

His face might not be heating up his heart sure started to flutter in his chest. Casey was bad with word so he didn't often get phases like this out of them less he asked them to read him his poems. He needed to avert his eyes away from his boyfriend a moment or he would start blushing. Hell he might run over and grab their face so to smash their lips together. But Raph needed to know what was up so he shifted his weight a little and relaxed back against the door.

"Look, it aint anythin' yer done, it's just Casey being stupid,"

"Well that ain't new." Raph now mutters under his breath it dose help, so he

"Yanno those weird grey face mutants, nonnie's or anon's or they got all sorta names, the ones that like never go away, will randomly ask yer thin's an' yer feel inclined t' answer no matter how personal, that also gets random info on yer from somewhere, those guys?"

Raph hung his beak at the mentioned and rolled his eyes looking away as picked a random spot of the wall to look at now. Covered in paint splotches as he looked at a random blob and tried figuring out the shape of it. "yeah what 'bout 'em?" Raph wasn't exactly always a fan of somethings they asked and made him answer to. Some sure but still.

"A-anyway, one of 'em foun' out 'bout the journal, the spicy one, the one with me, yanno, suckin' yer off,"

Raph side eyes his boyfriend and arches his brow a little "yeah?"

"An' they foun' out that, well, I was writin' those since we met, that I already wrote 'bout mutant fuckin', an' when we met, I started puttin' yer name an' face t' said mutant, despite us only bein' frien's at the time,"

If it weren't for the fact Raphael wanted answer he have something to say but Casey always let him talk with out interruption so hes doing the same.

"I didn't think it was weird 'til that no-face an' now I've been feelin' weird 'bout it."

Was that weird? Raph thought a second eh he was a bit surprised for reasons he wont get into. As for being weird though? he was not so sure it was in truth. Raph hummed and turned back to face toward them again even lowering his arms as he moved one to gestured at Casey. "Okay so is that why ya bein' well" dragging out that last word a second as he reached his mind for a word, he didn't want to say weird after what Casey admitted to "uh off tonight?"

Raph dose smirk a little at the 'hot as fuck' bit there but then it softened to a far more loving grin. Green eyes fixed on Casey in a stare that he wore often with them. As this poor idiot of his needed a moment to take a breath after letting all of that out in one. Raph lightly breathed out a laugh breath. As Casey press his hands to his eyes only to groan. Seemed they were all to aware of just how dumb they were being now. Though now? Raph can't help the way his face is growing warm or how his heart is acting in his self. He really was wanted by Casey uh? Not that he doubt it nah but hearing it? Damn.

"An' I dunno why I think that 'cause I know yer don't think that!"

Raph's attention goes back to Casey, he can tell Casey mad. At himself not even at the dumb grey face creature that made him have to think for once. Or even Raph for making him fess up. Just himself for doubting and worrying and get scared. Idiot. Casey pushed up off Raph's bed and made his way over to Raph. He could feel Casey's warmth as they corned him against the door. Breath in their scent and hear the sound of their breath. Raph tilted his head back once he noticed Casey start to lower his. His eyes closed a second as Casey lightly tap his forehead to Raph's. Raph let his walls drop letting the worry on his face finally show as he pressed his forehead in against Casey's he left his shoulders drop and arms encircle Casey to keep them close. Letting finger trips grab on to the back of their paint stained hoodie.

"It aint nothin' t' worry 'bout, it's just Casey being extra stupid,"

So some one just got in his head then uh? That did make it better in truth. It wasn't so much his thought it was something lodge into their head. That was a lot of weight off Raph's own mind in truth. Long as they were okay in the end.

"I love you Raphael, I aint ever wanna lose that, ever want yer t' think I don't."

And now he is sure his face is redder than his mask at that. A little lose for words he loved when Casey said his full name though he noted to himself. Like how it sounded from them.

"Sorry Case, i'm always gonna worry 'bout ya. More so when ya being stupid." Raph tell them, he gives them another soft tap so his snout pressing against the end of Casey's nose. So he has Casey's attention back on him

"Case the only one ya gotta about knowing ya love me or not is me stupid." Raph tell them "an' I know better than any one that ya do. You show it all the time even when you don't realize it." Ducking his head down now so he can nuzzle in under Casey's chin and pull them in just a bit closer. Hold them tighter, letting arms flex as they held on to Casey. Idiot just need a little extra affection some reassurance even.

"An' don't worry bonehead I'm pretty aware of how bad ya got it for me, can' say I blame ya I'm the whole meal plus a bag of chips." He shrugs a bit them smirks and makes use of that strength of his to lift them up off their feet, An slightly awkward walk back to his bed playfully slamming Casey back down to his bed. As he fell on top so he could smiled over them. Letting the tails of his mask fall over his shoulder as he looked down at them. Stupid grin tug on the side of his beak he couldn't help it in the moment. But he did let a smirk take over it instead. "Course now I do know ya had it real bad for me uh?" poking fun now that he could. "Really since we met Case?" He sounds amused by that fact. Before leaning in and softly catching Casey's lips for a soft kiss before he talks against them.

"You're so weird." he said it as softly as his voice could drop, a little whisper even before lowering down to just rest his head on Casey's chest, arm tight around their frame. As if he could tug Casey into his shell with him. Keep him away from another daring to hurt him. "Don't ever change Casey."

#muse| hamato rapheal #madamkezzie #aflockoffeathers #[ if you jump off a bridge its only cause i did first aflockoffeathers]#[2012 verse]#muse interactions #stayed qeued #((just gonna hope Casey stop being dumb now he gets his cuddles uwu))

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writing-shroom · 3 years

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Giyuu x lightning pillar!reader

Summary: Headcanons + Small burbs bout how you two met and shenanigans~

Words: 3,5K words

Warnings: Spoilers! about giyuu's final selection, ya'll know that means some major character death. Mentions about bruises and injuries, general typical violence.

Gender neutral reader!

−○❖○❧ •❁※❁• ☙○❖○−

You met him before the final selection started and-

Giyuu was reeling, you had him SHOOK

He thought you looked gorgeous even though you were just standing there, but poor bby was too scared to walk up and talk to you

So he was just staring at you with ✨sparkles✨ in his eyes

Sabito was having none of it however and dragged him over to you and told him to "man up"

You on the other hand were already glancing over at the pair cause you thought they looked interesting with their fox masks

Anyways, that's how you and Giyuu first met-

"Giyuu, i swear to god it's not that hard, just walk up and ask their name," said a very annoyed Sabito. But he didn't move and just kept staring at you with big blue eyes, "Are you even listening to me?" Sabito asked waving his hand in front of Giyuu's face. "Huh?"

Giyuu's eyes snapped back from looking at you to looking at Sabito, who looked very much annoyed and yet amused. "I said, if you can hear me in there," He emphasised his point by knocking on giyuu's forehead. "Just go up and talk to them already stupid"

"I-" "Hello"

Both boys jump slightly as a new voice popped into their conversation. You decided that if he wasn't going to talk to you, then you're going to do it yourself.

"dON'T DO THAT-"

Giyuu was 100% sure you actually an angel from heaven when he heard your voice for the first time, he thought it was the nicest thing he's ever heard

And then you laughed because Sabito was nagging you for sneaking up on them, and boy oh boy.

You thought giyuu was floored before? You haven't seen nothin yet

Your laugh made giyuu's heart do flips, he actually got worried if he might be sick for a moment

With a few good bonks from Sabito and actually exchanging names the three of you went into the selection together

As long as you didn't sneak up on them again

The first few days went fine, the three of you were slaying demons left and right

You didn't mean for your breathing style to be so flashy but boy were you glad it was because Giyuu couldn't take his eyes off of you

Boy had ✨sparkles✨ in his eyes again

You on the other hand, could not get over the fact of how pretty his eye were, especially in the moonlight

And they matched his nirichin blade so he was extra pretty while slaying demons-

Now third wheel Sabito on the other hand-

He wasn't sure if he wanted to gag at how many times he caught you two making heart eyes at each other when you thought no one was looking

If he wanted to feel like a proud parent because giyuuwasactuallytalkingtoyouwithouthishelp

he's so proud

But then came the last day

(Sad hours for the two of you)

When Giyuu got hurt, you were the one who convinced Sabito to let him stay until the end of the selection, surprisingly he agreed

So the three of you found a place to hide out for a while so you could fix up giyuu's wound

However,,,

As you were patching up Giyuu's head the hand demon arrived, and Sabito

Brave and selfless Sabito

Told you more liked yelled at you to run with Giyuu as he fought of the demon

The three of you had defeated every demon before this one so how hard could it be?

Is what you and Sabito thought, but then,,,

As you and Giyuu were running you heard a metal clink!

And made the unfortunate decision to look back, just in time to see Sabito being killed by the hand demon.

You had to make a quick decision, either you could fight the demon yourself and avenge Sabito

You could listen to him and keep running with Giyuu

It was a tough decision but at the end you chose the latter

Sabito was strong and a very good swordsmith , you knew this, and if he couldn't defeat the hand demon then neither could you. Especially on your own.

That and, if you were to die just like Sabito did that would mean leaving an injured Giyuu on his own.

So while it took every fibre of your being to not turn around and face the demon, you carried on running until you saw the barrier of wisteria blossoms.

Only you and Giyuu came out of the final selection, and it Sabito's death weighed heavy on your heart but now wasn't the time to give up.

You were the one to take an injured Giyuu back to Urokodaki and unfortunately were also the one to tell him of Sabito's death

And that was the last you saw of giyuu

sIKE

You actually checked in on Giyuu every now and then, to check in on his recovery progress

You were also there when he woke up

It was sad boi hours :(

It took a while for you to get him back on his feet, even then he wasn't the same boy you met in the beginning of the selection

He smiled less or even not at all

Thus in turn making you sad, the first few years were rough to say the least

But that's enough sad boi hours

A few years after the final selection you two were in separable, if you weren't on mission you were together

If they wanted you find you, they would look for Giyuu

Low and beyond you would be close by

Giyuu still had days where Sabito's and his sister's (Tsutako) deaths really catch up to him, and on those days Giyuu would lock himself in his room

You remember that time Tanjirou basically broke into Giyuu's home and just started talking to him? Yea you'll have to do something along those lines

But you remember to always bring a spare blanket and a drink with you, need to keep the sad roll hydrated after all

Or even better if you want to see the sad roll smile, you can make some of his favourite salmon daikon

Now, how you two got together and developed feelings is whole another story

totally not because this is already getting very long and i can't fit everything, totally not

You two were actually together before he became a pillar, you joining not long after

It was always a funny sight, the both of you together, the ever so stoic and statue like water pillar next to the bubbly and sunny lightning pillar

The pillars especially liked to poke fun at this

Speaking of the pillars,,,

They didn't even know you were together at first

Giyuu wasn't much of a fan for PDA and you respected that, so the both of you saved PDA until you were in private

That didn't mean he gave you 0 affection of course

He loves hand holding, when he gets used to it that is

Start out small like linking pinkies or this bby will turn into a surprised blushy blob, give him time and he'll come around

So the lack of PDA and the stark difference between the two of you didn't really help give the other pillars clues about your relationship

To top it all off you and Giyuu never even mentioned it, nobody really asked so,,,you never told anyone? Expect for Urokodaki-san of course but that's for later

And so shenanigans issued

Surprisingly you, Shinobu, and Mitsuri quickly became friends after your first meeting with the pillars

Giyuu wasn't close with the other pillars

And they quickly noticed you looking,, particularly more bubbly on some days

(You and Giyuu just came back from your monthly date, since the both of your were pillars and had a busy schedule you tried to save a day every month for some alone time with Giyuu. And it quickly became a tradition)

And so they kidnapped you brought you over for tea to interrogate ask about your sudden bursts of happiness

Mitsuri quickly proposed that you may have a s/o!

Shinobu on the other hand,,,

You see, you and Shinobu had grown close (much to Giyuu's dismay and your amusement) over the duration of you being a pillar

So close in fact, you even thought of her as your sister

And your sister figure,,, was not keen on the idea of you being courted by someone

After all none of them are worthy of you, Shinobu's words not yours

So what did you do? Tell Shinobu that your dating Giyuu of course!

sike

of course you didn't tell Shinobu right away, no

She looked like she was about to murder anyone who dared even look at you inappropriately

And you liked your aloof boyfriend in one piece and breathing thank you very much

"(Y/N)-chan~ You would tell us if someone was courting you right?" "I- uh don't know what your talking about Shinobu," you answered Shinobu squeamishly. You see, you were about to answer Mitsuri's assumption happily, ready to tell them all about your sweet boyfriend. But you didn't even have to look at Shinobu to feel the dark aura she was emitting, maybe this wasn't the right time to tell them. "Oh~ Then who, pray tell, gave you that clip?" she was referring to the sparkling clip giyuu had given you the previous night, which you currently wear proudly on the front of your haori. The reason why it caught their attention was because it had a blue moon on it, very beautiful but it directly contradicts your sunny (hahah) personality. You however loved it dearly, because Giyuu gave it to you of course! But mostly because it mimics how bright his eyes were in the moonlight, not that you would ever tell anyone it's the reason you loved it so much. "Someone very special to me," it was a simple answer but you quickly realise that it might not be the best move, because while Mitsuri's squealing got louder, Shinobu suddenly stood up (with her nirichin blade in tow) and waltz over to the door. "shinobu dON'T-"

But Shinobu's murderous intentions aside

It didn't stop you gushing about your stoic boyfriend to them

(without telling them who he was ofc because Shinobu was still very ready to poison someone)

i really want to do domestic head canons but this is already getting too long so i'll those in a separate thing

The day they found out was the day you went out on a mission alone and came back extremely injured

The mission was relatively easy, but then you ran into an upper moon

You manage to come out the victor but it resulted in an express trip straight to the butterfly estate

Lest to say Giyuu was stressed

He knew the mission was relatively simple so he wasn't that worried, but when he got word of your battle with the upper moon

boi

Shinobu doesn't think she's ever seen someone run that fast into her estate

You were unconscious when Shinobu had led him your room

The severity of wounds made him tear up slightly, even under the hospital clothes you wore he could see the sickly yellow and dark blues from bruises on your skin

In some ares where the bandages were peaking out you skin was red from the deeper wounds you got from the fight

Shinobu promptly left the room, but not before making a mental note to threaten Giyuu later

You were one of her close friends after all, she'll be damned if she let anyone break you heart

Especially not tomioka

She'll interrogate question you later, for now you needed to recover

Speaking of your recovery

Giyuu stayed by your bedside the entire time, waiting for you to wake up

Which ended up being two weeks later

When you woke up he immediately latched onto you, nearly losing you scared him half to death and he didn't let go of you until Shinobu came in to change your bandages

She walked into the room to see you and giyuu squished on the bed holding each other

Giyuu passed out after a few minutes since he barely slept without you

bby was scared to lose you so much he couldn't sleep

So you were the only one awake when Shinobu walked in

You looked down at Giyuu who was asleep on your shoulder (he would have slept against your chest like usual but he didn't want to hurt you ;-;). What few rays of sunlight left were seeping through the window and coloured his face and hair golden, he looked so beautiful at this moment. It was rare for you two to get time to actually relax together, especially during this time of day when the demons began to creep from the shadows to start hunting, but you didn't want to think of work right now. Right now was just you and Giyuu. Giyuu. Your sweet and sometimes idiotic lovable Giyuu. His slow breathing tickled your neck, but you couldn't complain, not when he seemed so peaceful. With a touch as light as a feather you slowly traced over his features that you so adored. His cheeks. They were so soft when you would squish them, how could you resist when he looked so cute pouting at you. And how they would turn a pretty shade of red when you peppered him with kisses. So cute. Drawing circles with your thumb over his cheek bones, down to his jaw and finally landing on. His lips. You remembered when you first kissed those lips, it was sun rise. And as the ash of the demon you two had just slayed drifted away you couldn't take your eye off of him, the rising sun just made him look even more gorgeous. The similarities between then and now were uncanny, and you just could help yourself. Leaning in, you quickly placed a soft peck on his lips not wanting to wake him. But as you leaned back you caught his eyes fluttering open sleepily. His eyes. How you loved them. They were so blue, so beautiful. Even with the dark circles under them it didn't dampen how pretty his blue hues were, but it did worry you, how long was he waiting for you to wake up? "It's okay go back to sleep yuu, sorry i woke you," "You,, didn't,," You giggled as your boyfriend drifted off to sleep in the middle of his sentence. He was too cute for his own good. Tracing his face with your fingers again you tried memorising him as best as you can, when you reached his eyes you stopped. Just watching how his eyelashes fluttered in his sleep, even in sleep he managed to look so effortlessly beautiful. "You knowww if you're being held hostage i know how to kill a man and hide his body very easily (Y/N)-chan~"

"SHInubo!!"

You quickly quieted down into a whisper when Giyuu shifted in your arms.

And that's how you and Shinobu had a whisper match over why, no Shinobu you can't kill Giyuu

Well, at least you were whispering, Shinobu was just talking normally

You're pretty sure she was talking a bit louder just to spite you

So that was how Shinobu found out

When the other pillars found out is another shenanigan it it's own right (Shinobu told them)

The first response you got when walking into the next pillar meeting was

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH"

it was mitsuri

There was a lot of "How the hell did this happen??" "(Y/N) blink twice if your family's being held hostage" "How the fuck did he get them to date him, Kocho are you sure they don't have brain damage too?" "(Y/N) are you sure you don't prefer someone more flamboyant?"

So that was a fun meeting

You should have seen the look on the pillars faces when you got Giyuu to crack a smile

Anyways,

The two of you live in the same estate, and there's a pond just outside of it

You and Giyuu loved to sit on the edge and maybe have a small picnic, just the two of you

Play with his hair, it's so soft even if it looks like a spiky porcupine

He'll let you braid or tie it if you ask 👀👀👀

It's relaxing as well, so he might fall asleep in your lap

Goodbye and good morning kisses are a daily tradition, he will get grumpy if he didn't get one or the other

Will and has trapped you to the futon until you give him a morning kiss

"Giyuu, my love, please let go i need to prepare breakfast" "No" Honestly, you couldn't even get the first sentence out without laughing. Why was your boyfriend so goddamn cute. You tried to wiggle your way out but that didn't work, so pushing his arms away was the next best thing. Firmly pushing him away worked for a just a moment, but you weren't quick enough to escape so Giyuu just stuck right back on you. The situation was honestly hilarious to you, his arms were locked around your waist and his (clearly pouting) face was buried in the crook of your neck. "Giyuuuuuu" The only response you got was a disgruntled grumbles, for a second you thought he would let you go, but your hopes were dashed when he just readjusted his hold on you. So now you were the one facing his chest. His body heat was very tempting and you almost went back to bed, but your stomach had different ideas. "Yuu im hungry, i can make you simmered salmon and daikon for lunch~" "Hmmm" The offer was very tempting, so it surprised you when he shook his head and tucked your head under his chin. Possible reasons were running through your brain, 'is he mad? no he wouldn't be sticking on to me' 'was he jealous of something? no it can't be that either, he's usually closed off not even more clingy' 'what is it?'. Suddenly, Ding! It suddenly came to you why he was acting like this, giggling you hugged your blue eyed boyfriend closer (as if you could get any closer with how tight Giyuu was holding you) he was way too cute for your own good sometimes. Wondering why you were suddenly laughing, Giyuu looked down but got his breath knocked out instead. You looked so goddamn cute right now. You would argue other wise since you just woke up and your hair is a mess, face still drowsy from sleep and you had lines indented on your cheeks from the sheets you pressed your face against in your sleep. But Giyuu swore, you looked like a goddess in his arms. "Giyuuu" "Hm?" You reached up and wrapped your arms around his neck, playing with the hair at the back of neck. Giyuu shivered but his body felt warm pressed up against yours, he started to lean in when he saw you doing the same. "You're so cuute" Your said cute boyfriend blushed red as you nuzzled into his cheek. But before you could make breakfast for you and him, you backed up to meet his eyes. Those pretty blue eyes, you could stare into them for hours, but right now your stomach was screaming at you to get food so you leaned in and pressed a sweet kiss to his lips. "Love you,"

You were usually the one who cooks and makes box lunches for you both but Giyuu does know how to cook

He just likes your cooking better

"Giyuu want do you want for lunch?" "You," ",,," ",,," "I- " "i meant your cooking"

But when you do cook together, its either very calm or actual chaos

You're both soaked with water, washing rice turned into a water fight

Looking back now, it was a pretty stupid idea to challenge the water pillar to a water fight

Either that or the food would be all gone before it even reaches the plate

Luckily you work better together on missions

Demons don't stand a chance when it the two of you together

You two are known to combine your breath styles to take demons out in record time

Fighting together during the final selection means you two know each others moves like the back the back of your hand

All in all you two are a force to be mess with

It's very funny for the surrounding slayers or kakushi to see the drastic shift from when you two are in battle to when it's over

You immediately ran over to Giyuu no matter how injured you were and fussed over him as if you weren't just as injured

Depending on the mission the moment you get home you immediately crash with Giyuu, tangled limbs and the blankets aren't even fully on your bodies

But Giyuu was sleeping on your chest and your head was resting ontop of his so everything was a-okay

I really want to make more scenarios and add more things, like domestic fluff, the kamboko squad being your adoptive children, and just more ideas i had but couldn't add them since it was already getting too long :/

Therefor,,i shall make them into their own things

−○❖○❧ •❁※❁• ☙○❖○−

i hoped you liked it :D it's my first fic in general so I'm doing my best please don't be too mean ._. those other fics will be coming to sooner or later since i really wanted to include them, however when are they coming out i don't know~

☼ Masterlist ☼

#giyuu x reader #giyuu tomioka x reader #giyu x reader #giyu tomioka x reader #tomioka giyu x reader #tomioka giyuu x reader #kimetsu no yaiba x reader #demon slayer x reader #demon slayer headcanons #giyuu headcanons #kimetsu no yaiba headcannons #shroom kny fic

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nev3rfound · 3 years

Text

glass : b.b

after a messy breakup with your boyfriend, you can’t help but be a tad bit reckless during a mission leaving bucky to help pick up the pieces and learn why you’re acting the way you are. (2.5k)

warnings: mentions of blood, violence, wounds, breakups

masterlist / permanent taglist / etsy shop - requests open!

also hi, we’re almost at 5k which is amazing and i’m planning a little giveaway! sorry if i’ve been quiet this week, i have been hooked with the ‘shatter me’ series and i can’t get enough lmao. but i do have more pieces in the works :)

Sitting in the Quinjet, you could barely register what Tony was saying as the words that were practically spat at you last night circulated your thoughts.

“Y/n?” You flinch at the call of your name, breaking you from the trance-like state you were in.

Steve smiles warmly as he takes the seat beside you as prying eyes watch closely, noting the change in your mood the moment you boarded the jet.

“Sorry,” You mutter to Steve. “late night.”

Nodding in response, Steve glances over to a concerned Bucky whose brows remain knitted together. Usually, you would sit with Bucky, joke around with him and Sam about all sorts. Yet today, you boarded the jet and sat alone, closing your eyes and blocked everyone out.

“Tell me ‘bout it.” Steve playfully huffs, trying to incite some form of reaction, but you remain silent. “Listen, if you wanna talk,”

“Thanks, Steve.” You cut him off, forcing your lips upward. “I’ll let you know if anything comes up.”

With that being his cue to leave you be, Steve shakes his head to Bucky as he wanders back toward Tony, organising the final details of the plan before you land.

“Okay team, descending now, arriving in less than ten.” Tony announces, ensuring he has everyone's attention- including yours. “So, Cap, you and Romanoff will head straight for the side entrance whilst Wilson and Barnes take the back. I want Y/L/N and Barton to head for the hostages.” Tony explains, watching as you all nod along.

“And what will you be doing, Tony?” Steve asks as he picks his shield up.

“I will be with Wanda,” Tony states as Wanda playfully salutes. “on standby in case something goes wrong.”

“Not that it will.” Wanda comments but quirks a brow to Sam who holds his hands up in defence.

“That was a one-time thing, witchy.” Sam retorts, causing Tony to roll his eyes once again at the team's antics.

“Anyway, get ready.” Tony finishes before retreating toward the pilot whilst everyone gathers their weapons.

Whilst grabbing your gun and placing it into your holster, you notice the small bruise forming on your wrist as your sleeve rises slightly. You quickly tug on it, thinking nothing of it as you reach for the set of knives you usually carry.

Yet Bucky noticed, it was impossible for Bucky to not notice the smallest of details about you. His heart ached at the sight. You’re known for being clumsy and would often laugh about the matter. If you got a bruise, you’d joke about it, explain how this one happened in another idiotic motion as opposed to hiding it.

“You ready for this one, Y/n?” Clint speaks up as he appears by your side, counting his arrows as you tighten your grip on your favourite knife, causing your knuckles to lighten in colour.

“As I’ll ever be.” You remark as the Quinjet door opens and you all walk out, splitting up into different directions.

It wasn’t supposed to happen, you weren’t prepared enough as a team for what you encountered inside the building.

You reached the hostages and quickly untied them. They thanked you senselessly whilst Clint remained on guard, keeping a close eye on the door as you helped them to their feet.

“Who are you?” One man speaks up, his voice hoarse as he grips your arms for dear life.

“We’re the Avengers.” You softly tell the man, watching as the fear in his expression lightens, and he starts to laugh maniacally in your face.

Trying to prise yourself from his grasp, his nails dig into your skin. “You made a mistake coming here.” He states, breaking his gaze from you momentarily, giving you a chance to slam your foot into his.

With the man's grip easing, you snap yourself from his embrace and hit him with the butt of your gun. He falls to the ground, and you raise your gun to everyone else in the room.

“Who else is a plant?” You ask, looking at all of the terrified faces staring back at you. “Who else?!” You repeat yourself, adrenaline rushing through you before you fire your gun into the ceiling as they all jump.

Clint whips his head around, evidently shocked having never seen you react this way before. “Y/n,” He speaks up, but you ignore him, keeping your attention fixated on the ‘hostages’ before you.

“No one, Ma’am.” A little girl announces as she releases her mother's hand, stepping toward you. She looks up at you with her bright brown eyes and holds her hand out. “Are you here to save us?” She questions.

Kneeling down in front of the girl, you smile softly, your cool exterior melting. “Yes, and you’re all going to be okay, I promise.” You tell her, breaking your gaze as you look around at everyone else.

“Y/n, now.” Clint states as you rise to your feet, holding your hand out to the little girl who gladly accepts.

“Okay, follow me, you’ll all be safe if you stay close.” You explain to the dozen hostages who huddle together, following behind you and Clint.

“Tony? We have them, there was a plant, tell the others.” Clint speaks through the comms as he walks ahead, his bow at the ready in case anyone else lingers in the corridors.

Glancing over your shoulder, you check to ensure the hostages are still with you. Whilst your head is turned, you hear Clint groan and fall to the ground with a thud.

“Clint?” You rush forward whilst the hostages remain still. Holding your gun up, you turn the corner, catching sight of a man stood with his gun aimed at Clint’s unconscious body. “Corridor seven, ground floor.” You speak up, hoping someone hears you through the comms.

The man before you smirks as his gun is now aimed at you whilst you mirror his actions, not daring to let your hands shake as his words ring through your ears.

“You really think that’s a wise move?” He asks, removing the safety from his gun.

“I’m not one to go down without a fight.” You state, hearing a collection of footsteps echo behind the man as a glint of metal flashes across your eyes.

The man's focus shifts to behind you, but his gun remains trained to you. “Ah, I see we have a friend.” He chuckles and you can feel your heart rate increasing as the little girl stands by your side.

“She has us.” The girl states, standing tall as the hostages emerge and gather behind you.

Sighing under his breath, the man clicks his tongue. “Well, this is sweet and all, but you’re not making it out of here alive.” He scoffs, lowering his gun to the little girl.

Everything plays too quickly for Bucky’s liking as he runs toward the man, his arms outstretched and fists clenched.

Upon watching the man pull back the trigger, you force the little girl back, feeling the impact of the bullet hit your stomach. Another shot rings through your ears, but you’re already down on the ground, curled up.

Bucky steps over the man's body, not caring to step in the blood that pools around his head as he rushes toward you.

“Hey, doll, stay awake for me, okay?” Bucky pleads, brushing your hair out of your face as he glances down, noticing your fingers are coated in crimson. “Sam, get Tony, now!” He yells, picking you up in his arms as both Steve and Natasha appear, taking in the sight before them.

Bucky looks over to Steve, and he doesn’t need to say anything. “Go, we’ll handle it.” Steve nods to Bucky as you hang in his arms, eyes barely open.

Rushing past the hostages who stare with wide eyes, Bucky keeps his on you. “Come on, Y/n,” Bucky mutters as the cool breeze hits his face, feeling you move in his arms and bury your face into his chest.

“I’m cold,” You mumble tiredly, barely able to keep your eyes open as they droop heavily. “just five minutes.”

“No, don’t you dare,” Bucky firmly tells you as the Quinjet comes into view, the sight of worry evident in Wanda’s expression as she meets Bucky halfway, guiding him into the jet.

“What happened?” Wanda asks as Bucky places you down on the ground, reaching for the medical supplies on board with urgency, ripping out various weapons and mechanical items until he finds some form of bandages.

“She tried to save a little girl,” Bucky sighs as Wanda cradles your head, her fingers hovering over your temples as a red glow forms whilst Bucky applies pressure to the wounds, watching as they soak instantly from your blood. “we, we have to go, now!” He yells to Wanda who barely flinches.

“Tony? Can you handle this?” Wanda questions through the comms.

“Just get Y/n back, we’ll sort this out.” Tony responds, trying to hide the fear in his tone for the younger Avenger, one he can’t help but view as a daughter in many respects.

“She wants to be strong,” Wanda whispers, hearing your thoughts as you drift further and further away from consciousness. “but she’s scared. I, I can hear his voice.” Wanda trails off as Bucky tenses up, knowing exactly who she means.

Bucky can feel his heartbreaking as the Quinjet flies through the air at an accelerated rate back to the compound.

“Oh Y/n, you’ve got so much coming for you,” Bucky takes one of your hands in his, gripping it tightly as he focuses on your face, the light disappearing from your complexion. “don’t go, not now, doll.”

Lying in your own bed, you remain in a deep sleep whilst Bucky hovers by your bedside. Ever since you were brought back and cleared, he insisted you’d feel more comfortable in your own room.

“Anything?” Wanda speaks up, peering in your doorway as your chest rises and falls rhythmically. Bucky shakes his head in response, aware of Wanda approaching your bed as she perches on the edge, her fingertips dancing over your head.

Wanda quickly pulls her hand away, the red wisps disappearing as she avoids Bucky’s cold gaze. “What is it?”

“I’m not sure,” Wanda mutters, moving your hair out of your face. “but something happened before the mission, something to do with him.” Wanda sighs. “I just, I can’t tell what it was.” She explains as Bucky keeps a straight face, unable to take his eyes off the various bruises now exposed on your skin, the cuts and scars forming alongside them.

“She’s always been agile on missions, even if she’s clumsy.” Bucky breathes out, uncrossing his arms from his chest. “But she’s careful, she’s always careful.” He repeats to himself, wondering why you’d risk yourself like that when it could’ve been avoided.

“I had to,” You mumble, your eyes now beginning to open as you look up to your two friends, forcing your lips upwards. “did I miss much?”

A chuckle escapes Wanda as she looks over to Bucky, seeing the concern in his face refusing to ease. “I’m sure Bucky will fill you in.” Wanda tells you as she touches your hand before heading to the door. “It’s good to see you awake, Y/n/n.” She smiles at you whilst Bucky slowly moves closer to your bed, his legs leaning against the frame.

“So,” You sigh, still feeling your muscles burning beneath the covers on top of you. “is everyone safe?”

Trying to hold back the scoff building, Bucky simply nods.

“Good,” You nod to yourself, a sense of relief crossing your system. “I’m glad it worked out.”

“Worked out?” Bucky snaps, noting your eyes widening as you struggle to sit upright without wincing. “No, don’t try and move,” His voice softens momentarily, forcing you to remain still. “Y/n, you think almost dying is a mission ‘working out', really?” He huffs loudly.

“Look, the hostages are safe, the team holding them was taken care of so yes, Bucky, I do think it worked out.” You bark back, your tone rising.

“God, you’re an idiot sometimes.” Bucky remarks, turning away from you as you look down at your lap.

“Max said that too,” You mumble.

Turning on his heels, Bucky focuses on you closely. “He said what?”

It was no secret Bucky wasn’t the fondest of your now ex-boyfriend, Max. He tolerated him for your sake, not wanting to lose your best friend in the midst of a relationship. But Max was never the most understanding, and this is just another reason Bucky mentally adds to his list of why Max was a lousy boyfriend.

“Forget it,” You brush it off, refusing to meet Bucky’s cold blue eyes. “it was nothing, I went to get the last of my things the other night and, and we had an argument.”

“What did he say to you, Y/n?” Bucky persists as he now sits down on your bed, his hands remaining in his own lap as you play with yours, fidgeting.

“He said I’m too fragile for my own good,” You admit, hearing his bitter words ringing through your head. “that I’m weak, and I shouldn’t even be an Avenger.”

Bucky can feel his blood boiling, the list in his mind becoming mere shreds of paper as he imagines what he’ll do to Max if he sees him again.

“And maybe I am, he said I’m broken goods,” You add, lifting the sheets from your body to reveal the stitching in your skin where the bullet was. “what difference does one more scar make?”

“You don’t believe him, do you doll?” Bucky asks sadly, afraid he already knows the answer.

Your prolonged silence only causes Bucky’s heart to sink further into his chest.

“Y/n,” Bucky speaks up, taking your hand in his. “you’re not broken goods, you’re not made of glass that shatters easily.” He explains, unable to meet your teary gaze. “You’re one of the strongest, most selfless people I’ve ever met, you’re not fragile, doll.” He rubs his thumb over the top of your hand, avoiding the fresh scuffs lacing your knuckles.

“You think so?” You whisper as tears fall down your cheeks before you can stop them.

Now catching your eyes, Bucky smiles softly. “I do, Y/n.” He admits, watching you struggle to shuffle in your bed as you force back a whimper.

Patting the spot beside you, Bucky raises a brow. “Will you stay, Bucky, please?” You whisper, too afraid of your own voice.

“As long as you know you’re worth so much more than him, Y/n, okay?” Bucky asks as he lifts his arm up, wrapping it around you as you curl up into his chest. “You deserve the world, doll.” He mutters, feeling your grip around his waist loosen as your breathing softens. “And I promise to show you someday.”

Bucky brushes his lips across your forehead as light snores leave your lips, unaware of the promise Bucky has made to you and intends to keep it.

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