#anyway. me when i'm normal about the video game men | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

1863-project · 8 months

Note

For the anon Pokémon asks: which battle subway conductor is the cutest?

Okay, this may get long, so bear with me.

First, a little disclaimer: Ingo and Emmet both make me feel incredibly seen. I was born in 1989 and wasn't diagnosed with autism until 2009, and I never got to see characters like me. I'd see some who were similar to me, or some with things in common with me, but Ingo and Emmet feel like looking in a mirror to me, to the point that I don't go in the Submas tag because I've seen too many people perpetuating the ableism that got me bullied as an undiagnosed autistic kid. Every time an autistic or autistic-coded character is portrayed as "weird" or "off-putting" or "too intense" or "scary," it's repeating things that my bullies used to excuse their behavior towards me and essentially treat me and my autism as entertainment. Most people aren't doing this, of course, but since I'm in the process of working through a lot of that trauma, I choose not to take the chance of exposing myself to it because I'd rather heal instead of open old wounds again and again.

Anyway, with that said, I adore them both, but only one of them makes me act like a giddy teenager.

I have the most ridiculous fictional character crush on Emmet. It's unreal. Part of that is likely the fact that if he was real we'd actually be extremely compatible, but unfortunately for me, he is not, and so I can't take him on locomotive photo charter dates and kiss him on the City Hall looparound on the 6 Train. That aside, here's what I genuinely like about the goober.

He's deeply passionate about what he loves.

It's that passion that often gets people like him and me labeled as "too intense," but when he likes something, he really likes something. Battling is like air to him. When you befriend him in Masters EX, you find he'll actually talk your ear off about battling if you give him the opportunity. He vibrates with excitement when he sees strong trainers.

[Image description: Emmet and Ingo, two adult identical twin men with knife-shaped sideburns wearing exaggerated versions of railroad conductor uniforms, stare off to the left at people who are off-screen. Emmet, in a white uniform, is holding his hands at his sides but his hands are in an excited, almost 'grabby' position; Ingo, in a black uniform, also has his hands at his sides but his hands are balled into fists. Ingo's Excadrill, a Pokemon that looks like a mole combined with a tunneling machine, stands in front of him. End description.]

In this screenshot from Masters EX, Emmet and Ingo have just run into Steven Stone and Roark. Emmet is barely holding back, and you can tell by looking at his hands. He wants to battle now. It's delightful that he's in a franchise of video games where that passion is normalized and encouraged. (As long as he never visits Paldea, anyway. Nemona is proof of how well that would go.)

Battling makes Emmet genuinely so happy and excited and I love when people get that way about their hobbies. It's so nice to see passionate people. Emmet even says he's excited about it when you battle him in Black and White and beat him at the highest level possible:

"I am Emmet. I am a Subway Boss, but I lost against you again. But I feel good. Because it was very fun! You want to win, and I don't want to lose. That's real. When we clash in battles, I feel very excited!"

[Source]

He lives for this, so much that even losing a really intense, serious battle feels good. And it's a delight. But, of course...

[Image description: Emmet, described above, claps his hands together excitedly and says "Winning a serious, hard-fought battle is the best feeling in the world!" with a huge smile on his face. End description.]

...he, in his own words, likes winning "more than anything else."

He's verrrry direct in his communication...but also verrrry supportive.

Autistic folks are often told we're too blunt, and to neurotypicals, who are used to saying things more indirectly, we can come off as a bit...too direct to them, to say the least. Arguably the best example of Emmet doing this is in the PokeSpe manga, where he just says things without a filter.

[Image description: a manga panel in which Emmet bluntly tells trainer White, "Yes, we're studying you as an example of a trainer who gets overwhelmed and loses every single match." The next panel leads off with Ingo saying "That's not nice, Emmet..." End description.]

But that bluntness isn't intended maliciously, he just has no filter and says what's on his mind. In reality, he's delightfully supportive and friendly, and that honesty leads to the most wonderful exchanges with him:

[Image description: two screenshots of Emmet from Pokemon Masters EX, smiling softly. His dialogue reads, "Hi, Steph! Your smile is always the best. Perfect! Whenever I see you, I can't help but smile, too! I'll have to make sure my smile is just as good as yours!" End description.]

As a side note, this dialogue has been destroying me for over two years now, and every time I boot up the game and he says this I feel my face get warm. He's actually helped me stop being self-conscious about my smile.

He has a habit of listening in on things, even if he has no intention of gossiping or anything. He just likes knowing stuff.

It's a habit he seems to share with his brother, but Ingo is significantly less obvious and more apologetic about it. Emmet's just really funny about it.

[Image description: two manga panels and one screenshot from Masters EX. The first manga panel shows Emmet marching over to White and Bianca as they have a discussion, saying, "I'm overhearing an interesting discussion over here. It seems profound, so I'm going to stand nearby and listen in. Oh, don't let me distract you. Go on. Keep talking." The second panel shows Emmet cupping his ear with his hand and still attempting to listen in on the discussion from one subway car away, with Ingo standing behind him. The screenshot from Masters EX shows Ingo hiding his eyes with his hat and saying, "I apologize for eavesdropping, but we happened to overhear your conversation at the Pokemon Center" as Emmet stands beside him, hands on his hips and smiling with no shame. End description.]

He doesn't use the information maliciously, and a lot of the time he doesn't even use it at all. He just enjoys hearing these things and knowing all sorts of weird drama is going on elsewhere. It's like when you find out about drama in a fandom you're not in and you read the posts and eat popcorn. It's great.

He likes his work uniform because it helps his posture.

As a fellow "leans forward too much" autistic, this one really resonates with me and I love it.

[Image description: A screenshot of Emmet in Pokemon Masters EX. He's standing straight up and holding the brim of his hat with his hand. His dialogue reads, "Wearing it gets me motivated, of course! It also helps me stand up straight and tall!" End description.]

He stops scripting when he gets to know people better because he's able to trust them.

Notice how his dialogue in BW and BW2 is on the Battle Subway - "I'm Emmet. This is my job. I like doubles. This is why I like doubles. Here are the safety checks." He's scripting around people he's not familiar with, and it's the sort of thing that gets autistic people labeled as "robotic" by people who don't know it's a way to help us maintain some semblance of control over an unfamiliar situation. The preprepared dialogue is a coping method in an ableist world. But when you get to know him in Masters, the scripted dialogue shows up a lot less. He's able to talk genuinely and excitedly to you, because he knows you're safe to be around and you're not going to judge him for who he is. That hits me hard.

He has the most adorable goddamned laugh in the world and it kills me on the daily.

This is a lot more in line with my personal tastes, as everyone who knows me well knows, but that damn laugh makes me all fluttery inside and weak in the knees. And he does it a LOT.

This update to Masters EX, where the characters laugh if you tap on them on the upgrade screen, destroyed me, and multiple people were apparently waiting for me to find it and die because I'm really predictable. I may or may not regularly pull the screen up just to poke at him and hear this. It's...not fair.

This one is...also unfair. I won't elaborate in public on what I think when I hear it because it's embarrassing.

youtube

So, uh...yeah. I really, really like Emmet a lot. I'm really normal about Emmet. I promise.

#replies #Pokemon #Submas #this man literally makes me so giddy and ridiculous #it's so silly but I'm having a good time and he's helping me work through a lot of stuff on the side #I spent hours on this #I always spend hours on posts where I talk about Emmet

82 notes · View notes

anti-terf-posts · 8 months

Note

Srry this might get into rant territory but I've been going through the blogs of terfs who comment on your posts to compile a blocklist and it's honestly crazy to me how unwilling some people are to understand the fact that the trans community is. yk. a community of people? Like I see so many ppl on radblr talking like transfemmes are these evil masterminds forcing the poor little uwu transmascs to do their bidding because they see trans men speaking out about transmisogyny. Which, (Aside from the obvious sexism of thinking afab people are helpless little goo-goo brained victims who can't think for themselves and amab people are all genius evil dictators do we not see the hypocrisy here guys.) as both a punk who is outspoken about shit that matters to me and as a trans guy pisses me tf off. Is it so crazy to think that trans people are human beings who can care about each other? Like so many people genuinely don't seem to understand that we're just normal people. They talk like we're sitting here plotting to take over the world or something but like. I went to high school with other trans people. I ran laps in the sun with a trans girl while the burly phys ed teacher yelled at us to keep up I caught the bus with enbies I sat on the grimy public school floors while I helped a trans boy tune his violin. My transfem friends and I usually just talk about video games. I talk to other trans people all the time about the most boring shit imaginable. I don't need an ulterior motive to look out for my trans siblings its just common decency because we're normal fucking people who are just trying to live our lives. What about that is so incomprehensible? It's just so apparent when I see trans positivity posts on blogs like this and the notes r full of terfs making it out to be part of some elaborate scheme instead of. You know. Good old fashioned human compassion?? Good lord. Anyway man keep doin ur thing and take care of your mental health running this blog has gotta be exhausting. peace and love on planet earth

yeah as a trans guy, I stick up for trans girls not because they force me to, but because I know it's the right thing to do? I'm not quite sure what terfs are missing here.

anyways, this was well written out, kind of reminded me of a poem ❤️

#asks #anon

57 notes · View notes

kittyit · 4 months

Note

hi!! wanted an opinion. since about the time i finished puberty and started being perceived as a young woman, i have found it literally impossible to be friends with men without them developing feelings for me (with the exception of homosexual men).

i don't wear makeup, i cut my hair off, i don't shave, im loud and openly feminist. i've done what i can to be unappealing to men because i don't want to date anymore, and i thought it would be easier to just be unattractive because i have a difficult time turning men down or rejecting them. in the past this has led to many first dates, which led to sex which led to relationships because i get stuck in this cycle so easily.

but despite my efforts, guys i think are just friends i can play video games with or guys i think are nice classmates i can study with, every single one of them ends up wanting to date me. it's frustrating bc i do genuinely enjoy hanging out with some of them but i wish i wouldn't have to be so scared they'll try and take things further. any advice that isn't just "never interact with men socially"?

so i think this is a fairly funny question to ask a separatist but i don't mind answering anyway :) when i hear you say that you have difficulty turning men down or rejecting them, that is the crux of the issue. i would say working really hard on socially scripting yourself to be able to turn down guys and/or making sure you have friends who support you in doing so is essential. having things ready to say like "i really am just enjoying being friends right now" or "i'm flattered, but i like just hanging out", or even "let me think about that and get back to you" so you have some time to prepare a response. if this is happening over and over again and you're not finding it easier to deal with, you need to set yourself up for success with practiced responses, a plan to avoid going on dates you don't want to go on and the rest of the cycle.

if a guy is going to be a good and normal friend to you, he will be able to take a no. that is the baseline of what a respectful friendship should be (with anyone - it needs to be okay to say no!)

acknowledging this is an issue that you need support on and that you have trouble getting stuck in a cycle is a great step to figuring out a plan to stop it from happening. you might even try leading with the fact that you don't want to date - saying that you find it really awkward when guys you want to be friends with ask you out on a date and explaining that it ruins friendships and you just want to hang out and chill. yes, that can be a difficult conversation and might be taken poorly, but again, that's a measure of a baseline of respectful friendship. a reasonable guy would be like, yeah, i get it, that's chill, let's be friends

i know many women on the autism spectrum or who have other social difficulties who have trouble navigating saying no to men and it's really important to take that seriously and make a plan for yourself. it's ok to need support in this also - glad you reached out! i hope this helps :)

24 notes · View notes

twistedapple · 9 months

Text

Miguel O'Hara: What's his deal

Ok so ever since the theatre realease of Across the Spiderverse back on May 31st (yes in France we get our new releases on Wednesday, this is why the early videos on YT had French subtitles btw in case you were wondering), I have been deep in it. Like. DEEP. The main offender for that being Miguel O'Hara, who immediately started living rent free in my head and he is clearly not leaving any time soon. Anyway, this is completely out of topic for my blog but I do what I want so let me rant about the aforementioned Depressed and Overworked DILF because we love men with problems in this house.

WATCH OUT FOR THE SPOILERS (and unhinged ramblings that totally sidetrack).

Ever since the release of ATSV, a lot of videos have been available on YT to dissect everything, and of course I have been having an intense focus on character analysis, because that movie is absolutely brilliant at establishing character arcs and presenting new Spiderverse characters in one of the most efficient, thrilling and engaging way I've ever had the pleasure to witness. We've been blessed with Gwen's heartwrenching character arc (and she deserves none of the hate she's been receiving, but don't get me started on that), Hobie more like Homie in the span of 5 minutes on screen... And Miguel, who blesses us with his ego, anger issues and massive trauma while also dropping bits of a gentler side - but only bits of it. And I have been extremely normal about Miguel, since he absolutely doesn't tick all of the boxes of the Tickle My Fancy list.

I have been ranting about him in many YT comment sections for more than 2 months now (hi Purple Kisseokjin and Schnee lol), but with the digital release of the movie, I finally remembered I have a Tumblr blog where I can yell about Miguel all I want, so here we are now. Now where do I start...

First Part: Miguel's character design

I've overall been highly impressed by the various art styles given to the Spiderverse cast, and how it reflects who they are and where they come from. Miguel in particular hits many soft spots for me for a good reason: his association with architecture and industrial designs, which are topics I'm interested in (especially architecture). As such, I will begin this study by analysing both the character and environmental designs for Miguel and Nueva York, and how the depiction of Nueva York 2099 reflects the state of the narration as well as how Miles and Miguel feel and think - following the same logic as what we get to see with the use of watercolours on Earth-65B, during Gwen's sequences, to express emotional states. A mandatory tangent will be made in regard to Miguel's themes as well, because they fall in line with my arguments for the character and background designs.

There are some main points to take into account when it comes to anything related to Miguel's design: straight lines everywhere, light rough sketch lines, gouache tones. Where do we find these elements? In architecture design. Older ones made in a traditional way usually have gouache for the colours (although ink and watercolour are also present), and the light sketch lines and straight lines are present to study the perspective, as shown in the example below:

Feels familiar? Well, will you look at that:

One of the reasons why I am giggling everytime he appears on screen is because of these delightful sketch lines. Looook, it has the same style as architecture concept art! Even better, from the mouth of one of the character designers, Kris Anka: NO CURVES!

Even his face has sharp angles (he truly has the most powerful cheekbone game), look at the sketch lines:

And you know what else has a lot of straight lines and sharp angles? Nueva York.

Look at this. Look at this. It's even in the title card when Miles arrives at the Spider Society.

Allow me to make a slight detour to explain what we are looking at while looking at the architecture of Nueva York 2099. What we are seeing here is a blend of brutalism and eco-brutalism. Brutalism is characterised by its materials, steel and concrete, as well as its intent: in a post-WW2 world, architecture is seen with more pragmatism and values function first. Eco-brutalism is a branch deriving from Brutalism, and aiming to reintegrate nature in the concrete jungle in order to create an harmony - albeit a fully man-made one.

The concept artists took (eco-)brutalism and ran away with it for a massive Solarpunk vibe, which makes the whole setting very interesting considering that in the comics, Nueva York is also very much a futuristic dystopia. Yet, using (eco-)brutalism to have us experience the place for the first time along with Miles is a great way to give a sense of awe by way of what we envision as the future to be now:

The interesting bit about it is how (eco-)brutalism and the adjacent solarpunk aesthetic are associated with a rather hopeful future, one where humanity manages to harmonise its modern way of life with a new development of nature. It feels like a haven mixing the relaxing greens of nature with the sharp lines of brutalism architecture, and that's how Nueva York feels on first sight. Similarly, Miguel O'Hara's first appearance leaves quite the memorable impression: tall, with broad shoulders and everything about him being sharp (it's even exagerated in the comics part), even his web.

(Fun fact time: ball pens have initially been designed for architecture and industrial drawings, they are fantastic tools to draw neat lines and create a nice variety of shading as well based on how you push on the pen and how you hatch/cross-hatch to modulate the intensity of the shading. You know who and what could be drawn solely with a couple of ball pens? Check the answer below.)

He also shines at the Guggenheim by showing how competent he is, with a certain benevolence on top of it: he initially rejects Jessica Drew's suggestion of adding Gwen to the lineup (yes Miguel, you don't want her because she's buddy buddy with Miles), yet saves her from being shot by her own father and ends up getting her on board as she finds herself with nowhere to go. It certainly leaves a similarly good first impression as the bright and harmonious first sight we get of Nueva York.

However, the environmental and character designs both give us a deeper look into Nueva York and Miguel, and it's certainly not as pristine as it seems. Just as Miles is about to discover the truth of the Spider Society, he enters a darker lab and Hobie keeps warning him, until they reach the area where Miguel is pretty much playing Big Brother by watching them through some of his screens:

I'd argue that the darker space is a callback to the comics, in which Miguel becomes sensitive to light after his genetic mutation, But it is the very opposite of what we've been shown when introduced to the Spider Society: soft whites and greens are traded for deep blues and the stark orange of multiple screens as well as the tone on Miguel's own costume - the bright orange light of the screens is even reflected on him. This is not a pleasant place, and everytime we see it (the Go Home Machine area has a similar style, albeit more organic in the creepiest way, as displayed above on the 4th screenshot), we witness Miguel having outbursts of anger as well. There is also something that feels disconnected from humanity in the sense that it's colder and more methodical in the design, either with all the sharp angles and stark contrasts, or the alien design of the Go Home Machine.

It's an impression that can also be found once we discover the underbelly of Nueva York, while Miles is being chased:

Here, we also have dark tones with stark neon lights that create the impression of a colder, less caring place, that points to the dystopic nature of the place. The impression is created with great efficiency not only by intense contrasts, but also by using the classic codes for a dystopic society: the solarpunk tones can be found in other stories such as the video game Mirror's Edge (classic case of solarpunk hiding a dystopia), and of course the darker cyberpunk aspects are a staple of the Dystopic Futuristic Society, that goes as far back as the first Bladerunner movie at least, and that can also be found in movies, series and games such as the Ghost in the Shell movies/series and the Cyberpunk TTRPG/video game (which pretty much gave its name to the genre) - I'd even argue we could go further back in time for the references with classics such as Aldous Huxley's Brave New World. It matches with the atmosphere of the Spiderman 2099 as well, which is set exactly in that type of darker, cyberpunk dystopia.

I argue that there's something coldly methodical in Miguel's design and, by extension, Nueva York 2099's design as well. And it is delightfully balanced through an initial positive introduction of both, before being broken down for a darker turn later on during the movie, as it matches Miles' own amazement-turned-disappointment throughout the sequences in Nueva York when his initial desire to belong somewhere is brutally turned on its head by the very persons who could have given him that sense of belonging he was seeking.

Interestingly, even the soundscape for Miguel, "Spiderman 2099" and "Lab 2099", expresses the underlying coldness of Nueva York 2099 and Miguel's own scientific, methodical approach to problems. As explained by Youtuber Azcona in his Miguel O'Hara Suite playlist:

"I'd argue that it has the same tonal resonance that the Prowler theme in the first movie had, though is less villainous and dreadful as that theme. Miguel's theme is a five note synth line that sounds akin to an alarm or siren. It's blaringly loud, but is also used for more calm dialogue scenes in an effective way. The words that come to mind when describing the musical soundscape of Miguel O'Hara is "methodical", because no matter how loud or abrasive his theme gets it has an underlying feeling of coldness and efficiency. This is further shown through a repetitive synth ostinato that plods and chugs during a lot of his scenes/scenes involving the multiverse at large. It's reminiscent of Blade Runner in tone and it's mechanical nature, and I think it suits someone as jaded and distant as Miguel. Not only is his theme alarming and efficient, but also efficient in it's cold, electronic soundscape and melodies."

And this very methodical, cold tone is itself used during the infamous Train Chase and Miguel's on-screen mental breakdown... But more on that in the next part!

#across the spiderverse #atsv #miguel o'hara #atsv miguel #atsv spoilers #character analysis #spiderman 2099 #not twisted wonderland #THE HOLD MIGUEL HAS ON ME IS SO REAL #He truly lives rent free in my head since May 31st #we love Depressed and Overworked DILFs in this house #and now you have to deal with my latest insane ramblings #I hadn't gone that far since Hell's Paradise lmao that was 4 years ago #but man does it feel GOOD #i live and breath for character analysis AND I get a bonus on architecture this time too

30 notes · View notes

kitkatopinions · 1 year

Text

I always think it's a little funny when people are like "why can't you guys give this story/writers the benefit of the doubt? Why do you think x is bad instead of trying to come up with a not bad explanation? Why don't you take the most generous view possible?" And then the thing they're trying to get you to be super generous to and give a constant benefit of the doubt to or come up with only the most innocent best possible explanations for... Was like created by people with a history of bigotry or who have endless red flags made by a horrible abusive company and with several bigoted people involved in the making of it.

Like I can say "In the first season of RWBY an older adult man flirts with a very uncomfortable underage student and yet is held up by the show as a heroic mentor-ish figure who later is invited to her father's house to laugh about old times (or specifically, laugh at the idea of a man wearing a skirt) and the student is portrayed as completely okay with that and his inappropriate behavior." And then people would come into my comment section and ask box to tell me that a grown men saying "Huntsmen" in a normal voice and then flirtingly adding on "hUnTresses" before clicking his tongue and sort of winking at a seventeen year old who is clearly uncomfortable wasn't actually flirting or inappropriate and that since Yang (a bunch of pixels with lines written at the time by a group of men) didn't care much, it clearly wasn't bad, and that it's wrong for me to 'take the worst possible interpretation' and 'judge the writers' and that I'm unfair and that they decided sexism doesn't even exist in the world of rwby, and the writers' probably didn't even realize it would 'come across as flirting to some people' and didn't have time to delve into a minor background role like a teacher anyway even if they had realized the totally innocent moment of jokey mentor-ship that Yang actually liked was being misconstrude as inappropriate, they probably didn't have time to make it clear that Port was actually the furthest thing from sexist.

And meanwhile I'm sitting there just thinking about how the creator of rwby was reportedly 'very interested in animating Yang's boobs late at night' and watched as the creator of rwby then showed off the jiggling boobs animation of the seventeen-year-old Yang to a crowd of leering laughing fanboys, while Miles Luna one of the leading minds behind rwby and a writer for all nine seasons has a wide history of misogyny and was photographed with a body pillow of an at the time sixteen year old Ruby and the photo was tweeted with the caption 'careful Miles she's still only sixteen,' while the guy who voiced the teacher Peter Port turned out to be a sex-pest who was fired for sexual misconduct and *allegedly* groomed, assaulted, and raped a minor, and the company rwby is made under has produced bigoted content before including what I believe was one of the founders telling stories on a let's play about purposefully following around young - very young - women in a car with his friend repeatedly as a game to try to 'make each other look like pedophiles,' and the girl who voiced Yang said 'I get that' while they were defending their story about following women around in cars by saying that hot women want to be looked at and compared it to women in bikinis 'inviting people to look.' So like, no, I don't feel like giving that scene where Port flirts with an underage student a 'generous interpretation.'

Like, no, I don't feel like giving anything in rwby a 'generous interpretation' when 'crwby' and 'rooster teeth' can't fully be separated and one of the masterminds behind rwby is Miles "video games for your girlfriend" Luna. I don't feel like giving rwby the show the benefit of the doubt when I still don't know if the trans woman who voiced May Marigold has been properly paid for her work after having to deal with being given the f-slur as a nickname. I think more people should be willing to critically examine rwby, because if the writers/creators/directors/producers/several voice actors involved in this product have histories of bigotry, that's going to leak into the actual show itself no matter how hard they're trying to make it a 'progressive girl power' show, and if the company they're under is horrible and abusive and mistreats their queer employees and their employees of color and there's no reason to believe rwby is the exception to that, than it's going to leak into the show whether or not the show features girls kissing. I'm not going to be generous and give the benefit of the doubt and wrack my brain trying to come up with innocent reasons for blatantly bad shit in rwby, and frankly I think it's wild that anyone else is doing that.

#rwde

48 notes · View notes

self-loving-vampire · 7 months

Text

Just for fun, I decided to take the COGIATI test and see how bad it is.

My first conclusion is that my definition of "fun" is rather masochistic at times, and I don't expect other people to find this post that entertaining either. Still...

Question 1 is already so much.

"Describe your relationship with mathematics."

"Girl Math" nonsense coming right out the gate, apparently.

"You are at a meeting. Everyone at the meeting is the same sex as you. The leader of the meeting announces that it's time for hugs all around! How do you feel about this?"

I don't know why they have to specify the sex of the other people here. I don't like being touched either way. There isn't really an option that really expresses how much I don't want people to touch me. At most I can just say it's unnecessary.

"As a child, when you played with close friends, how would you describe the type of play you liked to be a part of the most?"

You know this is a boomer test because "video games" is not an option.

"Which choice most closely describes why you dress up 'en femme', as a woman."

All of the potential answers to this question are on a spectrum between "it is sexual to me" and "it just makes me feel better". There is no option for "I don't actually do this."

And like... there's also cis women who don't dress up like that very often if at all, or who feel nothing about it. Even a vaguely GNC cis woman could very easily take this test and get labeled as a man somehow.

Anyway, I don't actually know what to choose here because this time no answer even approximates how I feel. Normally I would just drop the test upon reaching a point like this but I feel inclined to dig deeper so I'll pick a mild "makes me feel better" sort of answer and continue.

"You are parking your car. You must reverse into a somewhat narrow space to park. What do you do?"

I don't drive. There is no option for people who don't drive. You could take all of the insane trad stereotypes out of this test and it would still be bad just because it regularly forgets rather common types of people exist.

"You are about the age of 14. You have to take a test, but you can chose which test to take. Getting a good grade will result in a big reward. Which test would you choose to take, if you had a week to study first?"

Really not a fan of how much of this test is "men are intellectual and do math and science while women are emotional and do literature and history".

"Your penis and testicles are destroyed, perhaps due to an accident or injury, but they are gone forever. You are otherwise the same as now, but you are utterly without your reproductive organs, just smooth, flat flesh. What is the most realistic statement of how you would deal with this?"

Does the person that made this test realize that what seems to be the most popular kind of SRS repurposes those bits and therefore losing them would also prevent further modification later? Pretty sure most trans people who understand that and have a sufficiently long time horizon would not wish for this to happen even if they don't enjoy having the thing.

But instead I'm getting the impression that the "True Trans" answer as evaluated by the test is to cheer at this.

"You are in a restaurant with some friends. It is moderately noisy, but not loud. A song you know comes over the loudspeakers, but done in Muzak (tm) style, often called "elevator music". Would you recognize the song instantly?"

Honestly if the kind of music I like played in a restaurant, even as elevator music, I would be completely shocked.

"Suddenly the entire world is magically changed. Now you exist in a world utterly devoid of gender. All bodies are hermaphroditic, utterly androgynous in appearance, both male and female at the same time. The culture reflects this, as does all human interaction. You, however, are still yourself inside, with all of your memories of living in our world as it is now. Your feelings are intact, only your flesh has been changed. In this new world, everyone dresses, acts, and lives however they feel at the time, and there is no such thing as being male or being female. You alone remember the world of gender. In such a world, would you still need to dress like a woman?"

Starts as an actually interesting premise for a question but then the actual question is "would you still dress like a woman"? I already don't do that. I already dress how I want so going there would not change anything.

"A doctor offers you a painless, absolutely effective means to be completely masculine. All feminine desires and traits would be eliminated, and you would be happy and content to be a man. You would never need to dress, and you would never want to be feminine in any way again. You are assured that after the treatment you would be completely content. Would you take the treatment?"

You don't get it. I don't think either extreme of gendered behavior is in line with most people's true feelings to begin with. Most men who are safe to express themselves do in fact have at least some "feminine" traits. These categories are made up and especially bad when used to prescribe how one should behave.

Furthermore, sufficiently radical and sudden personality changes are kind of like dying and being replaced by someone else who is just using the same body. This is why I wouldn't cure myself of autism too.

I think even men, cis or trans, have reasons to be wary of this treatment.

"When you look at a person's face, how well can you honestly judge what they are feeling?"

I should note that reading and pattern-matching expressions is not actually the same thing as feeling affective empathy. Anyone could learn to do it with practice and memory.

But also I feel like pointing out that trying to make unlikely claims based on things like expressions and body language is extremely dubious and a lot of people end up just imagining how the other person feels and assuming it to be true even though it isn't. It's often best not to make assumptions like that.

"You are having an erection. How do you feel?"

At this point? It should not even be possible.

"It is grade school. The teacher gives you a gold star on your work for excellence. What is it for? I knew how to multiply. The teacher thought I wrote the best poem. I got my addition right. I had perfect spelling with no mistakes. I knew the name of the capitol."

You may live in a strange world in which math is for boys and spelling is for girls, but I live in a story in which I am the mary sue protagonist and am good at anything I try. I could be getting the award for any subject I wanted except maybe the poetry because I don't have any interest trying to do that.

"There is a voice mail on your machine. The person does not leave a name, they seem to expect you to know them. How easy is it for you to remember who called by the sound of their voice?"

There was a similar question earlier but I really have to say: Even if you don't recognize someone's voice the context of what they are saying would give it away quickly enough that the question is not very realistic.

Especially since I just don't expect calls for anything I have not previously scheduled.

"A stranger is happy at meeting you. He wants to give you a hug. How do you honestly feel about this?"

Did there really have to be two questions about getting hugged by strange people? Are women really supposed to enjoy that kind of thing? The way a lot of the ones on tumblr talk I figured at least some would be outright paranoid or at least very uncomfortable about the idea.

Anyway, I got rated as "65, androgynous". This is not surprising to me considering how heavily this whole thing relies on traditional gender roles that do not go well with my autism at all.

The conclusions drawn from this, however, are especially stupid.

"As an androgynous being, both genders, and both sexes are natural to your expression."

This is true of practically everyone in the world. It's why conservatives and hyper-conformists in general need to punish and indoctrinate people into obeying that shit. If gender roles were as natural as they say it would not be necessary to enforce them and train people into them.

"Permanent polarization in either direction might bring significant unhappiness. It is not recommended that you go through a complete transsexual transformation."

Oops. I already did that and it worked great. It turns out that you can be trans and not want to be some kind of motherly bimbo who dresses exclusively in pink dresses with heavy makeup. There's a whole range to trans people, just like with cis people.

Just like how it would be ridiculous to ban cis women from being women if they're GNC, it's exactly the same with same with trans women.

"You might find a partial transformation of value, if you find yourself more attracted overall to the feminine. You are more likely a transgenderist, than a transsexual."

"Transgenderist"???

Oh, apparently that's an extremely archaic (and extremely confusing) term for non-binary.

But I'm not non-binary, just autistic.

Anyway, 0/10 this test is just bad in pretty much every way.

#long post

12 notes · View notes

kiseiakhun · 11 months

Note

you’re so right but jason todd is so woman coded. and i could go into heavy detail

Listen, Jason Todd can be woman coded because you want him to be woman coded. You know it in your heart. You don't have to provide Irrefutable Canon Proof to prove your point, unless you find that kind of activity fun and rewarding, in which case provide away because I love batshit theories about canon and I am all ears. It just drives me crazy because like, listen. What people say are "women coding" are like, normal tropes that have been applied more to MALE characters than female characters because like... even when women were allowed to be people, their main point in the narrative was to be a prop to a man's story. Even when they were well developed, fully realized characters within their own right, their significance within the narrative was to support a man's journey. Like, I've heard criticisms about fridging that say Alexandra DeWitt was a tragic character from the start, that she had all the hallmarks of being a victim right from her introduction, and it doesn't matter! The point was that she was part of a long line of women who died for the man's story to move forward. It doesn't matter if she was doomed from the start. It doesn't matter if she was a dynamic, complex character who did get focus within the story. It doesn't change the fact that her inclusion in the story was to only serve Kyle's narrative.

So it drives me a little insane to see people argue that this male character is woman coded because he has an emotional arc focused on how other people have wronged him and we see him at his lowest point having a mental breakdown and experiencing irrational emotions because "that's a woman's story". No? It's not? Like historically it's NOT. Men are allowed to feel the full spectrum of human emotion. Men are allowed to buckle under the weight of all the burdens they carry and scream their sorrows out to the world. That's. That's not a woman's story. Achilles wept in the Iliad. Macbeth was flawed and poignant and allowed to be a fully developed person while Lady Macbeth was a scheming schemer from the start. Emotional arcs, through antiquity into the modern day, have been given to men! Men's stories are full of how they've been hurt, how they've been disenfranchised. Underdog stories are an entire genre within themselves. Emotional arcs have been written for men from the dawn of literature.

Like I keep seeing the same argument about how male protagonists have to be stoic and manly men and show no emotions and be hyper successful providers and I want to tear my hair out. No! No they don't!! You are describing a hyper specific genre of action heroes and like, one type of video game protagonist that was popular in AAA titles from the late 2010s. Oh my god. Please read more books. Please watch more movies. I'm losing my mind. Male protags are not like this as a rule BECAUSE IT'S BORING. BECAUSE WE DON'T WANT TO WATCH THE STORY OF A SUCCESSFUL MAN BECOMING EVEN MORE SUCCESSFUL. THAT'S A SPECIFIC TYPE OF POWER FANTASY THAT NOT EVERYONE ASCRIBES TO ASIDJDHDH READ MORE BOOKS.

I'm fine. I'm fine.

Anyway. Sorry anon I didn't mean to dump all this in your ask. I have just been thinking about this since yesterday and it's been driving me bonkers and also I'm a bit tipsy right now. Tell me about why Jason is female coded. I'll find my post about why Kyle is a girl YA protagonist and reblog it in solidarity.

#asks #anon #SORRY #Kyle is female coded because that's what my heart and my dick says <3 i need no further reason

23 notes · View notes

ryusaidate · 1 year

Text

i love saito. i love that uchikoshi does not know or care what's wrong with him. i love that everyone else in the game has real life medical issues and his brain issues are just "i don't fucking know he kills people. we're doing a Bit about Love And Family. he's got Murders People disease."

i love whatever's going on in both versions of in the VaiN. and that when someone asked uchikoshi what was with the scene at the end of the hit route with So was he was like "he's fucked up. you know how it is." and that was the full explanation.

everything he does as a-set especially in the arg videos is so so so funny. this man is having the time of his life pretending to be a fucked up and evil teen idol streamer. "this is your idol" "be seeing you. but you won't be seeing me" i will shove him in a locker also i know i already drew it but "this is kaname date he's a real hot piece of twink ass but unfortunately his personality is awful. he lost his memory or something i don't care" is everything to me

love that he's making this incredibly intricate plan to ruin the life of this random fucking guy he CHOSE to bodyswap with on a whim because he... what, he escaped out the window? you really just wanted him to sit there while you killed a guy as rohan, realised the oxytocin release didn't carry over also half your vision is fucked now, swap back, and then kill him so he can't narc? that was Theft Done To Personally Spite You? anyway he's doing all that and he's like "i mean i guess i'll kill my dad while i'm at it" and i love that.

i'm. still thinking about "killed by your own father" why are you pretending to be your own dad shooting yourself in the middle of your last ditch "well whatever plan's fucked may as kill him" moment!! just another one of your "i'm technically not lying teehee" bits?? (and i KNOW the reading that it's about mizuki but that makes even less sense to me. & i'm a 'most cringefail reading possible' truther.) i really do love 'i didn't lie, i kept my promise' just to be a jackass

i love that he's so candid about talking about his murders and says shit like "homicide is my hobby" but when it comes to shooting people he either says some bullshit like "blowing their brains out" or calling them "fireworks" or it's about date "watching them die." the only time he calls it "shooting" is when someone else is doing it. and normally that sort of thing reads as 'distancing yourself from the crimes' but wouldn't that be fucking wild lmao. i think it reads more like it's above just shooting? it's art! perfect, beautiful art of a lonely moment in time.

and all the "(you were) a murderer. a serial killer" "have you been using other men's names for so long that you've forgotten your own" talk feels like it should be leading into a "we're not so different you and i" but it never does. (i'd be tempted to say it's just self restraint on the part of the writing team but i find that VERY hard to believe given the. everything. about every uchi game.) like he hates date but he views himself as above him and he can't pull himself down to date's level, even to upset him. he's just taking hypocritical shots at date because he knows he cares about "justice" and "morality" and garbage like that, without acknowledging their similarities

i'm normal? i'm normal.

#sorry this is 5x longer than i thought it would be i only slept like 20 minutes last night i am lightly deranged #don't read this. all my takes are always correct.#but don't look at me. but i'm right.#i need to know if i'm wrong about any of this to avoid embarrassing myself in the future. but you can't tell me i'm wrong or i'll die.#you know how it is.#i could keep going but i have to stop this was how the dog rant started and i Cannot make another dog rant length post #it's the one literate thing i've ever written and that's fine. i can't start being a guy who has opinions about media.#aitsf spoilers #saito sejima #also if i write anything it has to be with a ridiculous framing device #so i can call it 'the dog rant' and say i wrote 3.5k words about the random dog npc in yongenjaya #it's not funny otherwise. and there's no point if it's not funny.#could i make a dog rant length post about the sejima family without even getting into the sequel?#probably #but oh the mortifying ordeal of having takes #i love bideo gane. thanks for reading. don't read this post. please un-read this post.

20 notes · View notes

reyluvs222cry · 2 years

Text

Burning Desire

Pairing: Eddie Munson x succubus! reader (feminine pronouns used)

Warnings: Blood, mentions of death, implied gore, swearing, implied sexual situations, implied sex.

To Eddie, you don't know me. You don't know the hurt I've caused people, how I feed on men's flesh in their dreams after fulfilling their wildest desires. You look at me and don't see a void like most people. You see past the duskiness that surrounds me. You see me as the person I once was and not the demon I have since become after getting my life taken from me. I am the devil in disguise yet you look at me as gods messenger. You see me as the light at the end of the tunnel, you see me as the beauty behind all of the madness yet I don't get how. I wish you would see me as I truly was but I know if you did I would only hurt you. I am leaving to help you so I won't hurt you.

Love from your "angel", y/n

(this part is a dream sequence so there won't be any perspective)

November 1st, 1982

"Are you ready to do this?"

"Hold on Daniel I need to get the candles, everything has to be perfect. I want my first time to be special."

cuts to next scene

"I'm ready, don't worry you won't hurt me."

cuts to next scene

"What the fuck did you do to me y/n? You're a fucking demon!" (Daniel is coughing up blood in this part)

As I wake up from the recurring nightmare that is my reality of how I got to become a succubus, I nearly choke back tears. How could I be such a monster? How did a normal person kill their boyfriend and somehow turn into this? I am a monster and everything I touch rots. I suck the soul out of everything and everyone around me. Which is why today I start at Hawkins High to hopefully have a fresh start.

"Y/n come on there's nothing to be worried about everything will be fine. Everyone will love you." My friend Robin reassures me as she is one of the only people I know in Hawkins so far. I met Robin when I moved to Hawkins in the summer when I rented a movie at the Hawkins "Family Video" store for the first time. It was a hot day in Hawkins and I was trying to become familiar with the new town I just moved to so I decided to go to the Video store to rent some tapes for me and my family, which is where I met Robin and Steve. "Hello welcome to Family Video, is there anything I can help you find?" Says Steve. "Oh where is the comedy section.. Steve?" I say looking at his nametag. "Oh right over here pretty lady. And your name is?" "Y/n" "Well nice to meet you y/n. Do you have any plans this weekend?" "Jesus Christ Steve, do you have to flirt with every girl who comes in here?" Says Robin examining me. "You are very beautiful though y/n. Just my friend Steve over here, love life is crippling so he feels the need to ask out any woman he comes into contact with." Says Robin now laughing at Steve's desperation. "Robin, by the way, that's my name." "Nice to meet you Robin." I say. "You know, if you aren't doing anything this weekend though, you should come hang out with Steve and I, we're going to meet up with a few friends at the arcade." Robin says hoping I say yes. "Yeah sure, that sounds like a lot of fun, I love arcade games. I need to know people in town anyways, I just moved here." I say. "Really? Well me and Robin would be happy to show you around and introduce you to some people." Steve says excitedly. "Thank you all, you're too kind." I say happy to finally meet some nice people in Hawkins. Then I hear the bell on the door of the video store chime and look over and see him. "Here's one of our friends now, actually." Steve says introducing me to Eddie. "Eddie this is our friend we just met, y/n." Robin says looking over at Eddie. "Nice to meet you." Eddie says, smirking at me. "You too." I say. If only I knew what was going to happen later on.

This is the first part of the story guys! More parts coming soon! Feel free to comment/ ask questions about the story. Feedback is wanted and if you have an idea for future chapters I would be glad to hear your ideas!

#stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fanfic #Eddie Munson x !succubus reader #burning desire

56 notes · View notes

kyndaris · 3 months

Text

Ice to Meet You

After changing my preferences to women, it's been much harder to meet new people. Unlike men, women are more secure about who they are. Or they just don't use dating apps as religiously. In any case, my profile didn't receive much in the ways of 'likes' and even when the two of us mutually decided to 'match' and chat, inevitably, they would stop responding after one or two exchanges. And given how ambivalent I am to the whole dating scene, when the conversations die off, I'm not all that ruffled. Instead, I just move on and try my luck elsewhere or sink a few more hours into a game.

In fact, in most conversations, I'm more reactive rather than proactive in my questioning. It's hard for me to garner curiosity for someone I don't really know. Especially because I've already learned from a young age not to dump on others about my niche interests. Or asking anything too nosy. Most of the time, these things come out in their own time. I'm a great listener, after all, and I tend to file away any and all scraps thrown my way.

Honestly, it's just easier for everyone involved for me to sit back and observe the person opposite me as they rant and rave about what they like. But also, I just find it very hard to interrupt others.

Despite all this, I managed to have a meet-up with Eivor! That's their codename because in one of their pictures they were dressed as a viking. Unlike all my other dates, this time I asked them for a meet-up (something I honestly hate doing), but considering she was the one who suggested adding each other first on Facebook Messenger (so she could send me pictures of her pets), I bucked up the courage to arrange a face-to-face meeting. After all, I'm an independent 31-year-old woman who don't need no man!

[As an aside to all this, I'm still occasionally chatting with Dikottir. So, maybe I do still WANT a man? Who knows.]

And honestly, it was better that I took the initiative. Elsewise I might even now be waiting for someone to ask me out. Or to have someone reach out to me to invite me to an event.

It's why I've bitten the bullet so many times in organising catch-ups with my work friends. For if not me, then who?

While books and video games are very important to me (and make any description of my weekends sound very boring - at least to me), but there's something about maintaining my social connections that also resonates with me.I can't live in my head forever. And being chronically online would also be terrible for my mental health. I mean, what if I fell in with the wrong crowd that enabled all my worst traits? Or who I could compare my self to and think: yes, I'm far more normal than they are and so my mental health isn't flagging despite the fact I had a psychotic breakdown leading to hospitalisation for a week (if that's sounding very specific, it's because it is and that's a whole other story to tell).

Anyways, long story short, Eivor and I had chatted for a while. I learned she was into sports and thought going on an ice-skating trip would be a bit different to all my usual first-dates at cafes. I arrived to the rink early. Unfortunately, Eivor was running a little late as she had chosen to save a little on money by doing an Uber Pool. But once she did arrive (and after I'd done a few rounds on the rink in the skates the Ice Zoo provided - which were more hockey skates than the blue skates usually handed out), we chatted as we circled the rink.

Mostly, it ended up as Eivor asking me more questions of me than I her. But given the amount of children celebrating their birthdays there, and the music, it wasn't exactly the most conducive environment for a chat.

I learned she had a brother and was homeschooled. That she was often told she was quite 'normal' for not going through the usual curriculum when it came to learning but she was thankful her mother allowed to explore the subjects they were interested in. Including getting involved in a robotics competition run by Macquarie University. Something that sounded so cool to me and I hate myself for not asking more about it.

Unfortunately, being homeschooled meant she didn't have an ATAR to allow her easy access into a degree. Eivor told me she had to sit for the SAT and when she was finally admitted into tertiary education, the one major difficulty she faced were standardised exams.

And honestly, so true! Standardised tests are the worst. They don't even test anything practical about a subject - merely how well you might have crammed the information into your head the night before. It's a complete and utter joke and doesn't demonstrate one's actual knowledge.

Once our ice-skating session was over (in which I embarrassed myself by trying to do my usual T-stop on the skates but being encumbered by a weighted penguin, resulting in me overbalancing and falling on the ice), we had a simple affair of chicken nuggets and chips at the cafe located at the rink. Although I did offer Eivor a ride to another suburb or a restaurant close by, she refused.

Which, honestly, is fair.

We were strangers and for all she knew, I COULD have been a serial killer (spoilers: I'm not. In fact, I'm always in fear of my own life when I go out on dates. Beyond that, she was taller than me and could probably deadlift me if she so chose.). It doesn't help that so many of my friends have written into their wills that if they were to vanish under mysterious circumstances, I'd be to blame.

I should work on stamping out such baseless rumours. Permanently.

It wasn't the best food to have. And it didn't fill me up at all considering this was supposed to be lunch. Nevertheless, I didn't want to pressure Eivor into anything and had let her take the lead. From there, we investigated the nearby antiques store. RIGHT as it began to sprinkle down heavy drops of RAIN!

Given I lived in one of the neighbouring suburbs, my mind instantly turned to the LAUNDRY I had painstakingly washed and hung out to dry (thankfully, it was still quite a warm day and when I got back home to check, they weren't as wet as I thought despite the sudden sun shower).

Antique stores, it should be known, aren't places I normally frequent. Yes, I visited Dirty Janes in Bowral during the light show back in June this year but old pieces of furniture isn't something terribly enticing to someone like me. Probably because they aren't exactly the ancient artefacts I would hope to find in an archaeological dig. The most interesting things I DID see were taxidermy animals and a few Chinese vases. Unfortunately, there were not enough weapons to catch my eye at the exhibit. Now, Dirty Janes had a veritable display of knives to peruse. As well as a few cases filled with butterflies that would have looked delightful.

And so ended my date with Eivor.

Throughout it all, there wasn't much of a spark between us. Like many of the men, I wasn't filled with any kind of lustful thoughts or a desire to know as much as I could about her. In fact, I think what I felt was a combination of anxiety (and wishing to impress) as well as mild disappointment.

I had been hoping to be wowed but Eivor was like any person I might walk by on my daily commute to the office. Any curiosity I had remained entirely detached like she was another face in a crowd of thousands.

Similarly, I didn't feel like she was all that taken away by who I was. Some of that might be my below average self-worth, esteem and confidence talking but Eivor and I haven't chatted much since the encounter out on the ice. In fact the conversation have all but dried up. So, I suppose it's back to the drawing board for me.

It doesn't help that I find it immensely boring to talk about myself. After all, there's nothing truly exciting about my life (something I was warned not to say to strangers during a one-year-old's birthday party. Of course, when you don't know ANYONE at the birthday party and no-one extends a hand to chat with you - usually that's me actually - it's a difficult endeavour). But whenever I try to talk about a few of my passion projects, the conversation always seems to jump to another topic.

And given I'm more a Wednesday Addams wallflower than an Enid SInclair extrovert, it'll probably keep on being the same old story every time.

In fact, I told one of my friends that I think a possible ideal partner for me would be to have an excitable golden retriever chasing after my grouchy cat arse.

But beggars can't be choosers in the game of love. So, I guess we'll simply have to see where the next step takes me. Or I can just be satisfied with being single. And honestly? There's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

#personal blog #dating #hinge #woman x woman?#asexual stories #ice zoo #antiques

2 notes · View notes

cartierre · 11 months

Note

just saw the anon ask so I'm here to bring back my logan x streamer!reader agenda !! just him being a really supportive boyfriend, reader talking about him on stream with heart eyes, the chat being absolutely in love with their relationship. Logan making small cameos on her stream whenever both of them are home. but most importantly, logan defending her on social media when people try to cancel her for being toxic in game (aka fighting men making sexist comments)

it's totally okay if you don't wanna do it, ik he might not be the most requested driver or the most normal to write for🫶🏻

heyo! i'm not quite sure if i was able to capture exactly what you had in mind, but i hope you're satisfied with what i've came up with anyway! ♡

(i'm not really familiar with the streamer community, i'm sorry if i portrayed anything incorrectly. also, no hate, but i didn't really like most of the "streamer girl" aesthetic on pinterest because it just isn't my usual style so i didn't include too much of it but still tried to keep the spirit of it!)

also, now that the season has progressed a little and i've seen a lot more content of our new rookies, i don't mind getting requests of them. maybe not nyck because he's... not my type. but even oscar is warming up to me!

hope you like it nevertheless, enjoy your read!

video games | 𝐥𝐬𝟐

thank you so much for requesting! ♡♡♡

10 notes · View notes

ghostbergara · 2 years

Note

Blue and maybe midnight for one ask game, 🔥 for the other

Have a nice day/good night!

aw thank you, right back at ya!

for 🔥 i think it actually changed quite a lot! so this might be long because im not good at making..words..short? (i dont speak english sdbjk)

I realized I was queer around when i was 12-13, i had always felt.. off? Different? I think in the same way i've heard a lot of other queer people describe. I also grew up in a very small conservative town and we moved when i was 12 so now thinking about it, that change in environment probably allowed me to figure myself out a little bit more. Now 12 might seem young to some people, but i honestly probably should have known sooner i was trans, actually i think i knew, i just didn't have the language. Before i knew my mom had talked a lot about how much will power can accomplice and i thought if i just wanted it hard enough i would wake up a boy (which obviously didn't work so i woke up disappointed every morning). I went as far as to pray??? to god??? i am NOT religious and i never was (which actually got a me in trouble in school a few times but thats another story) asking them to make me a boy (which unsurprisingly also didn't work). I think if i remember correctly i found out about trans-ness mainly from Sam Collins (who is a trans youtuber) which then led me in a spiral of googling and watching everything i could about being trans and how to know if you're trans. I even made a Pros and Cons list of reasons i was and wasn't trans??? (I cant find it anymore but the cons list only had one thing and i cant even remember what it was) Then after some time i sent a video by sam collins where he talks about being trans with his mom, to my dad! He was very supportive until he wasn't and thats also another story. He then told my mom for me and they ended up both being very unsupportive for a very long time.

ANYWAY im getting off track from the question. I didn't have much energy to focus on anything other than staying alive for a very very long time and in turn didnt have the energy to even think much about my identity (i was out as trans and so on). Now in recent years first of all my mom has become very supportive and im doing worlds better and ive finally gotten through the system and gotten hormones and later this year i have my first top surgery consultation. I've figured out my sexuality (or i though i had, i dont know, i like men and maybe more??? Im either gay or bi). Experienced tons of trans and homophobia and most importantly really feel like i've entered the community.

HERES WHERE I ACTUALLY ANSWER THE QUESTION

Now i think i feel more 'free'? Being queer definently makes me feel like i can really be who i want to be, like i'm not defined by stereotypes and stupid cis-straight 'rules' that i dont understand. I'm grateful for the experiences it's brought me, both positive and negative, because it's made me more empathetic and im better dressed for helping and talking with other queer and in some ways even just generally marginalized people. I'm also very aware of the impact i can have as a queer person, both on other queer people and on straight people. I tend to like to wear at least one thing that will mark me as queer in at least other queer peoples eyes because that for them often means safe and not alone. I know from first hand experience how scary it can be to be queer out in the world and if i can bring even the slightest relief to people i will. I certainly feel more at ease when theres other queer people around. When it comes to impact on straight people it's the way i know i can make them understand more and sometimes take the burden off a newly-out queer person by answering some of the questions they have instead of them asking that newly-out person. Of course i have also gotten the "I thought trans people were freaks until i met you, but you're just like normal" which while it sucks at least they hopefully in the future will be more open.

I feel like im more in a way. I have an impact on the world and a possibility to help others like me in a way that is so meaningful and i cherish that.

what colors am i?

LGBTQ+/Queer Themed Asks

#does that sound selfish?#i dont know #i just want to spread queer joy and acceptance where i can #im so sorry this is long and honestly most of it is not related to the question #i dont know why i felt like i needed to add all that context but heres half my life story i guess ahdkfk #and i like sharing my queer experiences #thank you for the ask!!#asks #baz answers

10 notes · View notes

bad4amficideas · 1 year

Text

In/succubus!reader details

I've been having dreams about succubus/incubus! reader. Like, background info. I couldn't write a book, but if you want silly details for a video game and its world, I'm your dwarf woman. (I won't say that history writes itself, but I don't know where this came from)

Anyway, you know from that post that I made a long time ago that the reader could feed on platonic or romantic affection but someone killed the platonic found family they form so Reader went to America in search of a vendetta and to find out who and why killed them when they was literally doing nothing wrong?

Reader can feed on strong emotions from the environment, such as concerts, meetings and the like, without harming anyone because it has no particular objective.

Reader had, an adoptive russian mother, the biological son of the adoptive mother, a best friend/surrogated sister from an abusive home. Two pseudo uncles and a granma that they found on the streets.

If they is well fed, they can influence the emotions of others.

They used this to create a "quirky" modeling company (meaning everything, ALL body types), influencing people's acceptance so they would see beyond the physical. The company quotes the Addams family "Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly." Guess the company name.

Of course, Reader could only do this with a body that fit the description or more like would not fit the traditional beauty standard (her grandmama is the agency's most beloved model, she dresses from leather to hippie and looks fucking good in both).

This company is trending in Europe and Reader used the excuse of branches to go to America.

The first (and traumatic) time they had sex they didn't kill their bed partner because they was well fed with their family storge and philias love and ate more out of gluttony than anything else (The partner ended up in a coma for a few days, like Rogue from XMEN and Reader when hype and super for the same period of time). Of course, eating emotions is quite an experience depending on what you eat

As Reader hit puberty, they and her sister had a strained relationship until Reader learned to control their hormones.

The more powerful Reader is, the more people, or more powerful people, they needs in the Family. In the long run, the Family benefits from the relationship with the in/succubus, with longer life, immunity to disease, and youth (although this takes time to discover).

Reader tries that if they has to attract someone into the "fold", it's people for whom the family can offer a good life. They doesn't take anyone out of their life against their will. Reader even tries to force themselves to like people, though that doesn't work out.

They found their uncles and granmama volunteering at a soup kitchen, "adopted" the ones they liked.

It is likely that the murder of The Family has to do with either the comatose mate or Reader's original family.

Their first runway in America was hero-thematic. It was fucking long for obvious reasons and people loved it. No, Reader did not choose a hero, although her initial idea was for them and their family to be like firefighters, doctors, garbage men, policemen and so on. The Family died and that was taken off the runway.

The first time Reader encountered superheroes, she was more interested in seeing if their outfits had been well-inspired and in the materials of the supersuits.

"Reader, one step away from being Edna Mode"

Now, this is weird, but my dream branched off here and on one side, instead of being superheroes, they were all magical creatures too. The fact is that by p or r, Reader ended up involved in the super / preternatural community

Either way, they first meets Clark because he got "punished" covering non serious, celebrity gossip. He didn't smell anything. But he smelled something. I don't know if you understand me.

Then they actually met The Flash and anyone I can't remember now who is involved in the police and forensic world (oh yes, Dick *facepalm*). They was asking for second opinions on the murder of their family.

To all this, between opening a new branch, chasing the murderer of THEIR family, moving, traveling from corner to corner of the USA. Reader did not realize (or refused to accept) that they had to start substituting their family or feeding themselves at least a bit each week.

If they didn't want to mug someone and kill them with one hit. Or go into an orgy and not kill anyone by distributive property of energy.

Here I cry because I would write a smut with the Batboys. Or Flash, Green Lantern and Green Arrow, or all the Lanterns or the Outlaws or the Trinity or idk, you understand me.

IF I KNEW WRITE.

ADOPT THIS STORY. MAKE YOUR -my- DREAMS COME TRUE.

#👾.txt #free prompt #cubbus!reader #Bruce was a vampire #Damian werewolf-vampire #Dick an incubus #Jason a ghoul #Tim a vampire but not a pureblood #as he is always reminded #or a vampire hunter. Clark was a High Fae #Oliver an elf #Dinah a siren (like #feather one not scaled one)#the Lantern Corps where wizards #Diana still a demigod.

2 notes · View notes

nightingaleflow · 2 years

Note

idk how the numbers got messed up hahaha

Nezumi

Who is your best friend? Tell us about them!

Holly

What is your favorite childhood memory?

What is your favorite thing to do in your free time?

Evie

What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do?

Who do you look up to?

Mariana

What is your favorite type of media (TV, movie, books, etc)? Name some specific favorites (which shows, movies, books, etc do you like)!

Aki

What’s the best way to cheer you up?

What makes you sad?

Freebie! "Will you ever try cooking with Rukia again?"

Yeah, the numbering system is really weird on Tumblr. But oh well, on to the questions! <3

~Nezumi Chisaki~

Who is your best friend? Tell us about them!

"My best friend…honestly, it's Rock. Don't get me wrong, I like Sakura and Choji. They're very nice! Don't get the wrong idea!

But Rock…he never tries to push me beyond my comfort level. He always checks in with me to make sure I'm ok. I never have to worry when I'm with him, even if we're doing something scary, because I know I can trust him to have my back.

Yes, he's my…b-boyfriend. But he's my best friend too."

~Holly Reed~

What is your favorite childhood memory?

"Coming home from the hospital after getting attacked by the alligator. My family threw me a party for surviving, and I not only got to try my favorite food - fried alligator - for the first time, but my uncle gave me a gator skull as a present.

Gus the Christmas Gator still sits in my room, guarding the door in his little Santa hat."

What is your favorite thing to do in your free time?

"Free time…that sounds nice.

Ok, but seriously, I'm not really sure I can call the time I'm not drawing or communicating with clients 'free time'. I'm the DM for my D&D group, so I spend about four to six hours every Wednesday running our games. But I also have to plan things out ahead of time - board layouts, enemies, potential storylines, and so on.

I do like playing regular board games as well, if Mariana, Evie, and I all happen to have the night off. It doesn't really matter what kind, but I prefer games with a defector such as The Resistance and Dead of Winter. It adds an element of surprise and strategy even if I've played them a million times before.

That's how Evie talked me into trying Among Us, by the way. I normally don't play video games, but Among Us was a lot of fun, even if she did yell at me for framing her for the murder in Electrical."

~Evie Moss~

What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do?

"Learning to walk again. Have you ever had to relearn how to do something you had been doing for years? Because lemme tell you, that shit was hard. It was like I'd been playing through the tutorial for a Pokemon game only to realize I was actually playing Cuphead."

0/10, would not recommend."

Who do you look up to?

"God…so many people.

Brianna Scurry was my first idol back when I played soccer. She was the first black woman and first woman goalkeeper to be elected to the National Soccer Hall of Fame. I still have her poster on my bedroom wall.

I also have a bunch of esports idols. Remilia. Geguri. Maddiesuun. Obviously, women are just as good as men at gaming, but esports is still a massive dickfest, so any time one of us "makes" it, it's a serious moment of admiration because we all know how hard we had to work and what challenges we had to overcome to get where we are.

There's also my parents. They never failed to support me or encourage me no matter what I put them through. They might not always understand me, but they always try, and I couldn't ask for anything more.

Then there's Rock Lee and Might Guy from Naruto. Some might say it's dumb to idolize fictional characters, but those people should go fuck themselves. I was a fan of them anyway back when I was an athlete because they always encouraged me to work hard and do my best. But after I lost my leg, watching them deal with their struggles helped me deal with my own.

And of course, Mariana and Holly. God knows I wouldn't even be here without them. But even without that, they've never failed to be there for me or help me. I couldn't ask for better friends, or sisters really."

~Mariana Rosales~

What is your favorite type of media (TV, movie, books, etc)? Name some specific favorites (which shows, movies, books, etc do you like)!

"Anime. I'm not ashamed to say I was always a weeb. I started watching Sailor Moon when I was really little, and I never saw a reason to grow out of it.

Obviously, I still love Sailor Moon - Sailor Pluto is my queen. Naruto is obviously fantastic - my signature cosplay is Sakura Haruno, and it's a show that really helped myself and mis hermanas deal with some stuff. Soul Eater was great, Konosuba was great, Pokemon, Sword Art Online…dios, I could go on.

Right now, I'm watching through Boruto with Evie and Holly. I'm not entirely sure what to think about it yet, but I hate that Sakura ended up marrying Sasuke. She deserves so much better."

~Aki Kamiya~

What’s the best way to cheer you up?

"Be Gaara. If you aren't Gaara, food is always appreciated."

What makes you sad?

"The people I love being hurt, especially if I was in a position to protect them and failed."

Freebie! - Will you ever try cooking with Rukia again?

"Certainly, as long as she's willing. I've had more than my share of kitchen disasters over the years. I have no reason to hold that against her. I just can't guarantee the results will be any better if I end up being the one cooking."

Thanks for the asks, Jmor! <3

OC Interview Questions

#ask nightingale #Nezumi Chisaki #Holly Reed #Evie Moss #Mariana Rosales #Aki Kamiya #oc talk #my ocs #Naruto oc #Naruto #nightingale writes #justmyownreality #A Crystal in the Sand #Who You Are At Night #fanfiction #writing #my writing #my fanfiction

5 notes · View notes