#anyway. babey boy. prince of my heart !! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fatuismooches · 6 months

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Babey Zandy not knowing fragile reader is so precious.

He hears all about this mysterious person that all of his older versions adore, but he has no clue what they are going on about. He tends to avoid the mystery person's room to avoid tripping on something, so he's never seen them. He's never heard their voice. What's so great about some sleeping grown up?

But then he sees them. The one time he's allowed to go into the room, he's instantly starstruck. He's reminded of the fairytale he'd read about a royal that was cursed to sleep for a thousand years, and he figures that this person was what that royal must have looked like.

A few of the segments chuckle at the reaction the child has. Wide eyes, slack jaw, it's cute. But then Zandy turns and asks,

"This is who we marry when we grow up? Did we finally do something good?"

The segments collectively think that no, they hadn't done anything good. Not enough to deserve their lover, anyway. But the sleeping beauty still chose to love them. That was more than enough for the blue haired maniacs.

MY HEART BRO... MY HEART. THIS IS SO PERFECT. AMAZING. CUTE. I LOVE IT SM.

Little Zandy tends to be left out of the loop quite often. It's due to various reasons - the older segments not wanting to have to deal with him, or having to take the time to explain, or perhaps the topic matter isn't very kid-friendly (considering the kind of work they do). So, the little one is used to finding out things after the fact, unfortunately. You happen to be one of these topics.

What really interests Zandy is how the segments say your name. The boy is used to hearing them speak about others in contempt (that damn Regrator, wicked Damslette) or with no regard/care at all (test subjects) but you? You don't get either of those. Rather, you get your name spoken with affection. Like how his parents spoke to each other (only that he wasn't afforded that same treatment). So naturally he's intrigued, but confused. You've been sleeping for so long! How could someone who's sleeping be interesting? You can't even talk! But it seems that the segments don't mind, although they are quite sad, they're willing to wait, which is strange. And Prime is willing to talk enough for the two of you. Zandy hears him from the room sometimes. Still, the boy fails to understand what sort of appeal you have. But he is a curious one, so he begs and begs to be able to see you. And when he does, well, everything makes sense.

You're just so pretty! Right of out a fairytale! He can't help but run up to you and hold your hand, in awe. And though normally the segments would scold him for "getting in their way" but they don't this time. Because even though the brat can be annoying his reaction is rather amusing. And they don't want to raise their voices in your presence.

I imagine, when you do finally wake up, he begs for you to read that story for him 😭💗 he definitely reads the voice for the prince that saves the sleeping royal (you) and beats up the bad guys (celestia) 🥺

THEM BEING THANKFUL FOR YOU LOVING THEM... sobs

#smooches talks #fragile reader <3 #dottore love notes <3 #zandy bb <3 #i JUST LOVE ZANDY SO MUCH OH MY GOSH WFNEJWKFNWF #i would give him the world #AND THIS ASK. wahh i love it he's so precious WE MUST PROTECT #zandy takes the best naps with you #he loves when you hold him #the other segments better watch out tho! he'll get mad if they hurt u!

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write-like-wright · 3 years

Text

Should you date them: Ace Attorney rival prosecutor edition

Miles Edgeworth:

depends on what Edgeworth we're talking about

absolutely do NOT date Bratworth

disrespects women

doesn't realise short people have feelings

wears that gaudy af jacket

doesn't want to date you anyways, is in a committed relationship with the law, baby

original trilogy Edgeworth is a bit harder to gauge

very emotionally constipated

generally awkward to be around

expect many unintentional staring contests

simultaneously cocky and insecure

this is the kind of a relationship you enter thinking you can "fix" him

spoiler: you can't

his fashion sense is getting better though

gotta be really buff if he walks up all those stairs to his office

you'd have to compete with a ton of other women and who wants to deal with Wendy Oldbag? scary stuff

he's probably still not all that interested in dating but is also starting to warm up to general human contact lmao

attempt to date at your own risk, though I'd advise against it (maybe casually drop hints you're a Steel Samurai fan? idk)

Chief prosecutor Edgeworth though? HELL YES, BABEY

that man has matured and gotten himself some therapy

can actually recognize human emotions!!

that new coat and the glasses?? mwah chef's kiss

a (childless) DILF

less subtle in his weebdom and who doesn't love a confident man

has lots of cool friends who'd like you

still a bit aloof so have patience

but hell yes, date, hell MARRY him idc

Franziska von Karma

Franzy is a baby but won't ever admit it

somehow even more emotionally constipated than her "little" brother

do you like strong, mean women? me too, bro

if someone is mean to you she will wreck them

absolutely walks up to the counter at McDonald's like "excuse me, you fool, they asked for no pickles"

needs gentle reminders to be polite to people

would call you by your full name all the time and it's probably more than a little weird

boy do I have good news for you if you're into BDSM

pretends not to care - cares a lot

date but also, like, go to couples counselling for a bit

Diego Armando/Godot

Diego is hot and he knows it

very, VERY cocky

like, kind of a douche but his heart is generally in the right place

tries to be macho

expect lots and lots of coffee dates... like, five a day lol

would always have coffee ready for you in the morning... afternoon... evening... 3 am... whenever you'd like it, basically

calls you kitten

calls everyone kitten though

calls Edgeworth kitten kinda hot ngl

probably kinda overprotective

very supportive, though

a bit of a himbo

probably never sleeps

date if you like hot douchey guys basically

Godot really is the ungodly cool guy with a mask

daft punk enthusiast

has many, many weird rules

more douchey than ever

would kill for you

ngl he kinda creeps me out, I wouldn't recommend it

Klavier Gavin

yes, you should date Klavier

not even a question

a literal rock star

such a nice boy

kinda questionable fashion, but he makes it work somehow

eurotrash

be ready to deal with the fangirls

would be worth it in the end

hot af

would write songs for/about you

he's probably the smoothest bitch alive

would take you on trips all the time

he's loaded, expect fancy gifts

probably spends too much time on Instagram, tho

Simon Blackquill

baby Blackquill is 100% boyfriend material

what a nice young man

weeb deep respect for the Japanese culture

honorable intentions

would treat you so well

breaks up with you without an explanation one day and disappears for like, 10 years

AA5 and onwards Blackquill is... an interesting one

listens almost exclusively to traditional Japanese music and My Chemical Romance

probably has a hard time adjusting to life outside

needs lots and lots of therapy

kinda scary at times

would probably need discipline and rules in his day to day life after everything

like, set his bedtime or something

can be a jerk and tease you affectionately

can also be a jerk in general, please tell him off, he's scaring the wendy's drive-through employee

go bird watching with him

I would date him but I understand why you wouldn't

he's hot

Nahyuta Sahdmadhi

gorgeous, dahling

a literal disney prince

tries to impress you with his knowledge of your culture and it's both endearing and embarrassing

what's crackalackin homies = how do you do fellow kids

massive foodie

kinda ranty tho

can go for 8 hours straight

unfortunately, i'm talking about sermons

can be pretty insensitive at times

spends a lot of time with his partnered detective, kinda sus

at the very least date him to steal his haircare products

Barok van Zieks

what a scandalous man

have you seen those curves

more breast and thigh than a bucket of kfc

built like an avenger

very hot

probably unaware of it, though

what are emotions

family man

spends too much on "wine"

you suspect he may be a vampire

incredibly meticulous

condescending

openly racist

like, date him after years of therapy and several racial/cultural sensitivity workshops or something

in the meantime flash him your ankle to test the waters if you're feeling extra saucy

Bonus: Kazuma Asogi

*smacks him* this bad boy can fit so much emotional trauma inside

literally good at everything

stumbles over his words at times, though

hypes you up so much for the lamest of reasons

confident boy

so hot-headed

goes from 0 to 100 and back in a matter of seconds

very honorable

do NOT doubt his ability to get you off or he'll make you choke on it

cute laugh

if you say you wouldn't date him you're lying to yourself and even worse you're lying to me i'm so sorry for looking at your boyfriend ryuu

#ace attorney #miles edgeworth #franziska von karma #godot #diego armando #klavier gavin #simon blackquill #nahyuta sahdmadhi #barok van zieks #kazuma asogi #the great ace attorney #headcanons #i'm so sorry for this i just wanted to post something lmao #come say hi send me some anon hate or some requests I welcome all #gyakuten saiban #dai gyakuten saiban

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luminous-shifting-vibes · 3 years

Text

*sequel* to actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server

once again, it's out of context because x1000 funnier

also x1000 longer than previous post

"ur satan is gnc af"

"Bestie I’m already having gender envy over a fucking demon please"

"O_O ODEPIJHFbavevisdpvfhzdcnjawedsidjksjdkoeirjfmkdsoeirujdksodifjndmksoidfjdksidfj ITS" NOT IN MY FRAFTS IS SPEDNT 1 hour PN THAT SHIT"

"AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"ohoho sexy"

"I am very proud of myself"

"himbo x edgy fuck"

"YOU COULD SQUISH HES CHEECKS"

"he has teefs"

"SQUASH"

"good for biting 📷"

"he's a himbo basically"

"B͂̒̄iͫ̍̈tͧ̓ͯè̄̇"

"bifth"

"i havent watched blue exorcist in years but mr okumura my beloved </3"

"MY LIFE QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED"

"is it important information to mention that the person i put up for my turn is the son of satan" "I know like 1 thing about everyone who isnt ranboo lmfao"

"crimes"

"tumblr sexyman"

"idk why but my first thought was cowboy onceler"

"I vibe with him but he is very long and twisty"

"steampunk e-girl"

"steampunk tumblr sexyman"

"Canonically bi crimelord I agree!!"

"OOO FRIEND SHAPED"

"ARTIST SIGHTED"

"they look like someone i would want to be friends with but is way cooler than me so i'd never actually talk to them"

"babby..... would die for him"

"honestly i probably kin him"

"i'm sure he's lovely but he looks way too much like my ex i'm sorry-"

"i'd be down for another rotation! i have another twink to show y'all"

"Also :00 blonde friend"

"Let us all infodhmo"

"Hsjagdvbs shhh im on phone"

"Nix woukd you like to joon?

"skitters away"

"I have two braincells and they both drink dumb bitch juice"

"oof wait whats the order again i have 0 memory"

"i want to bond with him over cosplay-"

"Awkwardly watches in band kid"

"One day I'm gonna a broadway star"

"which isnt to say they were bad. they were just fortnite dancing during rehersals"

"I threw it so hard my glasses flew off and slid under the stage right divider"

"anyway heres my boi"

"emo"

"haha emo"

"virgil sanders kinnie"

"he looks like he listens to my chemical panic at the fallout boy"

"Bro I bet he'd kick my ass with his deck"

"bird man my beloved"

"fuck i had so much to say and then i forgot it all"

"Birds!!"

"guiguhuh"

"crabrave"

"She sounds like someone I would end up stealing her personality"

"yess name collector gang"

"alias glass aiden haven absinthe fish brick rice"

"But I have Cypress, Remure, Genesis, Lemres, and Comet"

"And she's named after a mars candy bar bc alien"

"Hey, if plato went by plato, you can be king thief"

"im not dissing my gramma like that shfojd"

"My dad has seven legal names" "bitches be like *looks at fictional character* *steals their name* it's us we're bithces"

"coraline lowkey traumatized me but i adore it regardless"

"mmmmmm magic man :]"

"°0° green man"

"criminal (affectionate)"

"he would shoplift a candy bar from walmart and then brag to all of his friends about the sick stealing he did"

"despite the fact he's canonically been capable of overpowering a minor deity"

"i would commit so many crimes for him"

"Very babey"

"Yes please tell green man he is very pog"

"he also keeps a lot of dumb secrets"

"but I will sorely miss the chaos and energy of this here chat until I wake again" (by request XD)

"i just say words and if they're funny then they're funny"

"* or extremly chaotic either works"

"at this point we are just taking turns rambling"

"oH--"

"bc my brain has a schedule"

"Hopefully they have gyoza there or I will lose my mind"

"hehe yes spooky man"

"my ghost glucose guardian"

"the head of the undead group that lives there, and we end up dating. (yes I date a ghost, no I will not be taking constructive criticism /lh)"

"ghosts r just inherently sexy"

"i mean im becoming a squid thing so"

"Raven quirk raven quirk!!"

"ł â m p"

"łæmp"

"mothman: ooh lamp you look very nice today! do you come here often? mothman: wait shit no"

"I'd date a ghost"

"mine is still accurate, i am still sobbing (/j)"

"p e e p e e"

""@nick wilde is a tumblr sexyman" is the best thing i have ever seen"

"im sorry im cackling like a dying hyena"

"you're all 12 year olds"

"PEENIE"

"He once caused global warming on accident so he could get a tan"

"god, what a himbo. i love him"

"that reminds me of my friends kin assigned me jesus"

"Man outside of battle be like: princely crying but then in battle hes like: "CATACLYSM! DISASTER! DEVASTATION!" Chill out man"

"Every time I talk about satan it never fails to shock people it's my favorite thing to do"

"im kin assigning him roman sanders" ""Oh yeah he caused global warming because he wanted to get girls" "he what""

"oh damn i forgot satan was straight"

"twink appreciation club"

"give us the twinks"

"my first thought was bottom-"

"so many people to try and get his dad to love him"

"daddy issued"

"OH MY GOD ITS WILBUR"

"Big boy but"

"anyways janus is swagggg"

"........................."

"gib twink"

"give twink then i will share"

"holds him gentle like hamburger"

"This dumb bitch opened a book that said "do not open" and got possessed by a little bastard"

"he is. fragile creachur"

"klug is beauty klug is grace i would let him step on my face"

"If I'm playing swap and I have to hear one more "Pwanet Powew" Im gonna lose it"

"Who is to blame? Pandora or the box?"

"Bakugo isnt my type but I respect the drip"

"i say like my type isnt long-haired pretty boys and girls that look so gnc that people have a history of confusing them for men"

"hes a gremlin and i can appreciate a pretty gremlin"

"that is to say i am attracted to VFlower vocaloid. This is a confession."

"note i am a lesbian"

"You may like Schezo wegey"

"why does he have one single expression"

"soul soul eater passes the vibe check"

"magic wand"

"I Want To Hold His Hand"

"i would commit a war crime for him any war crime idc which one"

"my favorite one is when he sounded rlly gay because he said "Muscular bodies keep me satisfied""

"p e a n u t"

"Klug is a homophobic homosexual its just facts"

"grug from the croods is peak male performance"

"jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair Ahem, you look very lovely."

"tag yourself im the fireworks shooting from the top of the head"

"i like essays"

"central time gang"

"11:11 pog-" (wait... is that a suprise angel number?? yes it is lovelies just for you <3)

"Then again im also a dumbass bitch who wonders what the souls in soul eater taste like. SERIOUSLY THOUGH. THEY LOOK TASTY AS HELL!!!! LIKE GODDAMN BRO YOU'RE MAKING ME FUCKING HUNGRY. Like. that shit- it's Bone Apple motherfucking Teeth. hell yea my guy. Im hongy now.... shlorp I'm seriously considering this. Like. They seem kinda like a liquid? But a solid? Are they like jello? The fuck they taste like my guy???? I keep imagining they're like sour, like sour candy maybe? Or do they taste salty? Sweet? Maybe some combo of two? Do they even have a taste or is it about the texture? The sensation? God my mouth is watering what the hell. I am starving. I think I need to go get a cookie. I'm gonna go get a cookie. Brb. I'm better. I'm still craving souls though. Which is a weird-ass cringey thing to say but I'm being dead-ass rn. They just.... look tasty???? And I wanna eat one. Thus. I am shifting to Soul Eater for the express purpose of satisfying my fucking cravings. enjoy"

"points were made"

"jello? more like helloooo schloooAHFJDSDAIDWNALDHSJKDAIDANDM"

"WAIT I THINK I HAVE AN ANIME GIRL BITING VIDEO TOO"

"anime girl voice: mmm! mm... ahhhhmp!! mmm, mmm... aaahmp!"

"i think it sounds great i'm going to start eating like that"

"several people are typing"

"do these look edible to you"

"forbidden gummies"

"when I was on lsd I couldn't eat my fruit gummies because I thought they were alive because they had little faces on them"

"oh shit yeah don't do drugs"

"anyways general consensus is puyos are edible, ty for your input everyone"

"everypony is a word so powerful it can bring nations to its knees"

"pls the self control it's taking me not to say "hewwo everypony" in gen chat when someone new joins-"

"hewwo evewrypony uwu deaw cewestia i hopwe it doewsnt wain owo"

"ive cooked up a sowution wiwth the knowwege ive acwued. they say a kitcwen time saves niwne, but im just savwing two. Ive gathewwed the inwedients to make a time sowbet. Thewe's hawdly woom fow seconds when the seconds mewt away."

"I had a ten year old sister... you know what happened to her??? very sad, very tragic... she turned eleven....."

"NIIICE"

"Guts dont say the secks word :( /j"

"watch your fucking language in front of the president"

"im so sorry lumi"

"i think you're like ehhhh 8/10 funny"

"now me???? 10/10. Hilarious"

"sometimes i have to take a step back and remember that this is the same guts i follow on tumblr /lh"

""ok every here's some good shifting advice!!! uwu have a good day" "yeah i did lsd and ate fruit gummies""

"i have one setting and it's whatever this is"

"my bitch ass cat just pushed the door open with his fuzzy face and now my sleeping dad is being lulled into dreams by Cosmo Sheldrake's 'Pliocine'."

"me on discord: nick wilde"

"me on tumblr: shifting water! haha funne! me on here: my hermit crabs are cannibals also i want to eat souls."

"im sorry yOUR VIBESA RE JUST SO DIFFERNT"

"u give off older cousin ive never spoken to but always admire at the family gatherings vibes"

"what the fuck"

"BC I HAVE LIBERTU"

"If you adopt me then yes"

"am I qualified for dad jokes???"

"we're all a lot smarter on tumblr"

"I'm like "awww... sweet... sweet little shiftlings... posting such sweet shiftling content... so pure, so wholesome... does not even know abcs....""

"can't think before you speak if you never think B)"

"I'm not responsible enough to be a mom"

"cat pet"

"show us pictures of the cat or i will do Crime"

"maybe thats me being a coward tho"

"MOTH!!!! MOTH MY BELOVED"

if y'all want I can make this a series bc shiftblr keeps giving me more content

#tw drugs #tw swearing #tw cannibalism #tw crime #tw food #tw homophobia #shitpost #out of context #out of context quotes #lumi's quotes

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trashbaggage · 4 years

Text

okay okay okay

the movie “enchanted”, but witcher-fied (sorry this got away from me a bit)

there’s a stereotypical medieval fantasyland where jaskier julian alfred pankratz is the prince of lettenhovia. he’s got the looks, voice, and affinity for attracting woodland animals of a disney princess. also, the tragic backstory: his parents died in a freak accident when he was young. but don’t worry, his creepy “uncle” stregobor took upon himself the burden of ruling in their stead, until julian grew up and became ready for the throne.

(basically, stregobitch is like rasputin, and had tricked and slimed his way into the crown’s good graces before, surprise surprise, killing off the king and queen. he left julian alive to take some of the heat off of him with that extra distraction of grieving child. alas, poor little princeling that he can play the benevolent guardian to.)

and things are gr8 for good ol streggy, julian seems more inclined to sing and wander than become bogged down with the responsibility of becoming king. everything’s comin up stregs.

and then, of course, there’s a prophecy about how julian will be his doom or whatev and he needs to get on that shit STAT like he’s never heard of a self-fulfilling prophecy before (to be fair, fantasyland doesn’t have ancient greek tragedies to learn from so rip stregosaurus). but before he can implement his sophisticated plan of julian dying in an “accident”, our dear jules wanders too far and falls down a magic well into the Real World.

and he’s like, sweet, look at all this stuff! this is great and - oh hello, very attractive man with silken white hair and eyes as golden as the dawn light falling gently upon newly blossomed lillies and thighs that can crush his head and his heart, what up. and geralt is very confused and frustrated and oddly and begrudgingly charmed by this loudly dressed and loudly singing idiot accosting him outta nowhere, but his daughter ciri seems to like him so i guess we can keep him for a night but if he pees on the rug he’s out.

cue fun family bonding, musical numbers, shenanigans, all that jazz; julian, now jaskier cuz new world new him babey,, exploring and learning and having the time of his life and trying to get this broody man to open up and show that kindness his scowl can’t quite hide.

aaaaand cut back to streginald throwing a fit that the prince has cleverly evaded his dastardly plans, he has underestimated him it seems, and he can’t just let this massive loose thread keep flappin in the breeze, so he sends yennefer to deal with him.

now, yennefer is streggo my eggo’s daughter in this, and he’s raised her to be his right hand woman, his evil apprentice, the (much smarter) kronk to his yzma, and she’s been promised power once her dad fully claims the throne, so ofc she gets right on tracking that crafty twunk down to kill him. in the process, she comes across roach, julian’s horse and bff talking animal companion, by the magic well, gathering up the fucks to go after her wayward idiot. a struggle ensues, and yen and roach both go through the portal.

so now we got the side plot of these two trying to find jaskier, yen to kill him and roach to huff reproachfully at him for getting into this mess and if anyone is gonna kill him she will for dragging her across realms (she does not like portals, okay, they feel weird) not some uppity witch. so they got their tomfoolery of yen almost killing an unaware jaskier but then roach foiling her plans. she also tries to kidnap ciri as bait for a trap, but she can’t hurt this kid she’s too precious, ow ow ow, why does her chest feel weird?? she’s actually starting to find the boundaries to her thirst for power and it kinda sucks and feels nice at the same time??? 0/10 do not recommend

during this, geralt’s quiet life is being upended by this weird dude and he’s never danced so much in his life and his child is conspiring against him to set him up with this clearly deranged but very nice and pretty man but he’s not staying ciri we have to get him back to .....wherever tf he came from i don’t even like him, what are you talking about,,,

it all comes to a head at the costume ball, where geralt and jaskier are dancing and making eyes at each other until roach bursts in and tries to charades her way into warning her idiot to run motherfucker but she can’t talk in this realm so ugh and geralt horsegirl rivia is just like omg ur best friend is a horse that’s so fucking cool i love you even more.

and then yen bursts in; she’s kinda struggling to fulfill her mission, cuz she’s been watching jaskier and geralt and they just seem like two idiots that couldn’t possibly threaten anything, let alone her father’s power grab. she’s also made frenemies with roach, she’s the only motherfucker who can handle her in this city. so she just tries to scare jaskier into never returning, which works pretty well because she is v v scary, and then stregobonkers comes strolling in like wtf why is this taking you so long just kill him!! and yen is like i’ve kind of grown this pesky con- 🤢 consci- 🤢, wait, just, give me a min,,,, conscience!! yeah, that’s the bitch! anyway, stop telling me what to do dad and stregobego drops a bomb and goes i always knew you had a weakness to you, just like your parents!

and it’s just,,

silent.

what? what do you - my parents?

and it turns out he saw the power she held and wanted it under his control, so he killed her parents (it’s like, his signature move at this point) and groomed her to be his obedient little weapon. and, understandably, yen is pissed off and hurt and goes to lash out at him, but he just smirks and clicks his fingers while muttering under his breath, and everything stops for yen a second time as her mind blanks.

sneaky streg had put in a fail safe, in case she ever got out of line, and the amulet he gave her “for protection and focus, you must never take it off” lights up and puts her under his command and she turns into a sickass dragon that starts tearing up the dance floor, literally, in her rampage to kill jaskier.

geralt and jaskier go oh shit and dodge for their lives and things are looking pretty dire, but then jaskier looks at the suits of armor set up for decoration and goes wait a minute and grabs a sword to toss at geralt and just goes cover me boo and aim for that amulet and if you miss we’ll probably all die so no pressure!! and just sprints out and distracts angry dragon!yen and geralt goes goddamnit jaskier and sneaks around until he can jump at her and do a completely improbable matrix leap to stab at the amulet, and because this is a romcom and i get to choose my coping mechanisms, he makes it and yen is free from streg egghead’s power and she turns to him, still a dragon, and smiles wide with all them sharp sharp teeth and he goes ohhhh shiiiit and tries to run, but jaskier very helpfully trips him up and goes eat up my lady and dragon yen does, with great relish.

in conclusion, everyone lives happily ever after except streggles. geralt gets over his baggage and professes his love for jaskier, jaskier goes i’m not that easy geralt there needs to be wooing! i deserve to be wooed!! before heavily making out with him in the next five seconds. jaskier gives yen his blessing to become queen of lettenhovia, because he never really wanted the job anyway and she deserves it after what she’s been through. she still comes back every sunday for brunch and to teach ciri how to fight (she’s mine now, i’ve adopted her so she needs to learn the fine art of pointy things geralt) and geralt, jaskier, and ciri take holidays to fantasyland and roach is free to roam wherever she wants and becomes an advisor to yen.

the end

(extra dramatic addendum: geralt finally brings jask home to meet his family; vesemir opens the door and geralt goes this is my boyfriend, jas- but vesemir cuts him off with a choked out pRiNcE JuLiAn?! and it turns out vesemir is also actually from fantasyland. he worked for julian’s parents; the prevalence of monsters had been steadily rising, and so they had the idea to create witchers to combat them. kaer morhen was created under their sanction and vesemir was a teacher there, but he became disenfranchised with every boy that didn’t make it through the trials. when the keep was attacked by fanatics against witchers, he smuggled out eskel, lambert, coen, and geralt, and hid them away. he looked at these traumatized kids and went well that won’t do, followed up on some rumors of a new world, had a mage friend alter the boys’ memories, and skedaddled for our world. very shocking reveal, angsty angst-ness as geralt and the others deal with repressed memories and the fact that jaskier’s parents were responsible for it all, y’know, all that good stuff)

#the witcher #i come to you with another weird witcher au #geralt #jaskier #julian alfred pankratz #yennefer #ciri #roach #cw: stregobor #jaskier would make a fantastic giselle don’t front #i would write a proper fic of this but it is late and i am tired #so here #some ramblings #witcher ficlet #geraskier

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averykedavra · 4 years

Text

so. asides, huh.

i’m making this post ten minutes before the episode drops and right now I’m scared, who’s gonna be in it, oh no

aaaaa oh my god oh my god it’s here im shaking oh god oh fuck

flirting with social anxiety? VIRGIL

WE’RE GETTING VIRGIL???

we finally get content of virgil oh god oh fuck is there gonna be Drama

my heart is pounding

this intro still slaps yall

new A??

oh god, more waiting.

IT’S ESSENTIAL VIEWING?

ABD ILLUSTRATES??? I LOVE THEM???

wait. wait artist friends?

W H AT

i just SCREAMED an ANIMATIC i will LOSE IT

OH MY GOD ROMAN AND VIRGIL

THAT’S ROMAN ROMAN’S GONNA BE HERE

IS THIS ALL GONNA BE IN CAPS NOW? YES

yesyes patreon gets flashbacks to last night’s drama

THE SNIPPETS OF ANIMATION ARE SCARING ME

now that i think abt it, flirting with social anxiety is such a ro and virge thing

oh god is there gonna be angst oh god oh fuck

thomas ilysm

im SCARED just GET TO IT

no wait dont im not ready

ads. yay. well at least i get more time to prepare

that time was not enough FUCK i’m not ready

just glimpsed the cover of this ep (not what it’s called i’m sure) and jlkhgfdsfghj

NO MY COMPUTER WONT LOAD

COMPUTER STOP IT I WANT TO SEE MY BOIS

gonna log off tumblr and write the rest of this on notes or smth. notes can’t format im losing it. why is this my life.

GAY OR NAY? kljdhgfdsfghj

computer is still struggling to load i am Not Happy with this

THOMAS IVE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY TO HEAR UR VOICE LET’S G O

“you too??” thomas ur a mood

ROMAN VIRGIL I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

lkjhgfds get off his back guys cmon

oh no is roman so adamant abt this because he wants thomas to be good

DLKJHGFDS THEY’RE TAGTEAMING THIS IM LOSING IT

THEY’RE F R I E N D S

“you didn’t mean that” roman no, roman stop, roman. roman.

STOP PLAYING WITH PEOPLE’S HEARTS??? ROMAN N O

OH GOD THEY’RE ACCUSING THOMAS OF LYING

THIS REMINDS ME OF SOMEONE,,,, OH FUCK

dkjhgfds uh oh here goes roman mr Gay Prince

“*sighs* cutie at twelve o clock” ROMAN I LOVE YOU

WE DON’T KNOW IF HE’S N O T GAY DKJHGFDSAFGH

dlkjhgfds “you have used that argument on me far too many times” i’m laughing so hard already

awww the stickerssss

paramore!!!

DLKJHGFDS AWWW NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS THESE DORKS ARE SO EXCITED

ads again

wait i just realized that if there isn’t any makeup needed,,,we could have janus

:(( oh no we won’t have remus oh :(((

COMPUTER WONT LOAD AGAIN

i’m five minutes in and i’m already dead

“those jokes are old” “you would know” roman ilysm

ugh,,,pintroverts

ROMAN’S LIL SMILE AS THOMAS GOES CLOSER IM,,,BABEY

kjhgfdghj MICROPHONES im in love with this

“OHHHHHH,,,,ohhhhhh” dkljhgfdsfghjkhgfds

this animation is FANTASTIC did i mention

dkjhgfdgh they’re Trying thomas

GREAT INDEED

ROMAN I LOVE YOU

“the only logical next step,,,go home and regret everything” virgil i love u

gay eyes? gay eyes.

DKLJHGFDGHJGFDG ROMAN PLS STOP OH MY GOD ROMAN NO

virgil is struggling

ads.

VIRGIL’S DRAMATIC SHADOWS I CANT--I LOVE HIM

“i wasn’t testing you, i was just panicking”

“you chose to be a liar”. no. no don’t. stop.

thomas u disaster gay

GERARD GAY,,,,I USED THAT NICKNAME ONCE,,,RAIN ON YOUR BLACK PARADE I AM FEELING PLATONIC PRINXIETY FEELS IN THIS CHILIS TONIGHT

oh they’re fighting over thomas oh noo :(

no no no

“IF I AM, I’LL ADD IT TO THIS LIST”

ROMAN N O

now thinking abt “something we’re both familiar with”,,,A A A AAAA

i dunno,,,plants dkfgsfgh

virgil is just shoving him around jkshgfdhj

thomas u GAY DISASTER

thomas pls ask janus for help with lying u cant lie

“CHECK FOR TREASURE FOR GOOD MEASURE” ROMAN I CANT DJKHGFDS

“hide so he cant see u in all ur shame” i love this so much oh my god

“easy, roman” THOMAS IS STILL STOPPING ROMAN FROM INSULTING ANYONE IM SAD

so,,,,,stalking

dljkhgdf this is so funny oh my god

they should grab patton!! hearts right?? speaking from the heart?

oh wait yeah roman’s mad at him, fuck

thomas is awkward sweetheart

computer goes out AGAIN im LOSING it

halfway thru. already so scared.

HE SAID IT WAS ESSENTIAL WHAT DOES THAT M E A N

yay computer is working again

also i love this animation sm, like seriously, oh my gosh

oh no roman’s expression is this gonna be sad

“least of all myself” thomas this is turning into a breakdown,,,are you okay

oh NO virgil’s expression

“knowing what i want” ROMAN’S EXPRESSION

IM SO SAD NOW FUCKING DAMMIT

this is so good and PAINFUL

WAIT IS THIS THE MONOLOGUE

IS THIS THE FUCKING MONOLOGUE

BECAUSE IT’S GOOD,,,IT’S SO GOOD

okay but seriously don’t go up to someone and say they’re radiant,,,this is a good speech but like,,,please dont use it irl thomas pls

lkJHGFDGHJ THE PERSON IN THE STALL OH MY GOD KJHGFDS

thomas is still a terrible liar oh my god the second-hand embarrassment

roman’s lil WTF roman ily

OH NO VIRGIL STOP

VIRGIL I DONT LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING

“THE LIES” A A A AAAA

no. no no no. no no no

i am saying “no” out loud OH GOD

“i so badly want this” ROMAN

you cant have true love if the relationship isn’t based on truth,,,yes but also no?

roman i think ur biased here

both of u are

VIRGIL FUCKING SAID IT

“WILL DECEIT CONTINUE TO BE THE ANSWER TO ALL OF YOUR PROBLEMS” VIRGIL WENT FOR IT

GOD OH FUCK IM IN PAIN

“NO, HE’S BETTER OFF WITHOUT ME”

WHO’S SAYING THAT

ROMAN,,,ARE YOU SAYING THAT

ohh here comes the gay panic knhgfxdfgh

“he fears things too???” dlkjhghfd yes virge he’s your soulmate

awwww they’re arguing djkhgfdedghj

“it’s okay EXCEPT IT’S SUPER NOT” virgil ur such a good boi ily

thomas no

thomas stop

“one more chance at happiness squandered” roman dont be mean

“it’s probably for the best” ROMAN NO

VIRGIL IS SO CONCERNED

HE’S PANICKING BUT HE’S TRYING TO DO HIS BEST FOR THOMAS

A A A A A A AAAA VIRGIL ILY

“YOU SHOULD HAVE JUST SAID HI” THOMAS IS GONNA GET A BF

i like songs dkjhgfd THIS IS GOING SO WELL THO

I’M SO HAPPY FOR THOMASSSS (CHARACTER THOMAS)

oh no mysterious suitor is pretentious /j

no wait is THIS the monologue

WHAT’S THE MONOLOGUE THOMAS, WHERE IS THE TRUTH

“that was you???” DKJHGFGHJGF

bruised ego. roman’s hmm. a a a aa

“let’s not waste this one” I AM SO HERE FOR THESE TWO

THIS IS SO CUTE AND WHOLESOME OMG

ROMAN’S IN L I K E IM SO DLKJHGFDSGH A A AAA BABEY HIS LIL HEARTS A A AA

THEIR LIL SMILES AS THEY WATCH IM,,,HHHHH

ROMAN THANKED VIRGIL

AND VIRGIL’S SO SURPRISED,,,A A AAA

“BRAVERY” A A A A A A AAAAA

THEY’RE FUCKIN

THE PLATONIC PRINXIETY FE E L S

ROMAN’S SO GRATEFUL AND VIRGIL’S SO FLUSTERED AND OH MY GOSH IM SOFT

is that the end???

no wait we have,,the end card

should i skip the patreon announcement for the end card

BUT LIKE THIS ANIMATION MEDIUM,,,MEANT THEY COULD FUCKING HOLD EACH OTHER’ SHOULDERS

THAT’S SO COOL

AAAAA ROMAN IN PERSON HI ROMAN ILYSM YOUR LIL THUMB BITE ILY ILY ILY

“PUNK” DKJHGFD

more accurate to say,,,puts on bowler hat DECEIT’S THEME PLAYS HI JANUS

BUT JANUS IS RUNNING IT DLKHJGFDHJGFD

skipping the patreon, maybe i’ll watch it later, can’t buy anything anyway i am smol

AWWW THEY’RE ALL GEEKING OUT OVER IT

THOSE LIL DORKS I LOVE THEM

,,,,virgil’s eyeshadow

VIRGIL’S EYESHADOW

IT’S NEW

OHHH THEY’RE ALL BLUSHY I LOVE THEM

VIRGIL’S EYESHADOW CHANGED WHEN HE GOT LESS EXCITED,,,,I’M IN T R I G U E D

HIS EYESHADOW’S BACK TO PURPLE

AWWW THEY’RE SO EXCITED I’M HERE FOR IT

“JOIN ME,,,NO THINKING” ROMAN I L Y

dlkjhgfdghjkgfdGHJ i’m laughing so hard

“are we ready for this” oh no

oh no oh no

computer wont LOAD there are ten more seconds i wanna see!!!

i had to RESTART MY WHOLE COMPUTER to see the rest >>:((

oh no virgil is apprehensive

that’ll come back to bite them later

ROMAN STOP PRETENDING LIKE THERE ARE NO CONCERNS CHALLENGE

djkhgfdghj “demon” virgil ily

in conclusion prinxiety are best friends and i am living for this and also i’m in material amounts of pain

#sanders sides #sanders asides #thomas sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #ts spoilers #tw caps

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justine-the-guillotine · 4 years

Text

5 Otome/Romance Game Men I Adore

Thank you so much @pseudofaux for tagging me! Also, thank you for saying that your own list was not in order or an exhaustive list because I often feel pressured to make a perfect list in these types of situations lol but if pseu was chill I can also be chill (EDIT: no there’s actually a lot of screaming below and absolutely no chill, I’m sorry, I lied.)

I always talk too much and break too many rules when I do these things but that's just how I am lmfao so I'm gonna start off by saying IkeSen's Nobunaga Oda is my absolute favorite otome game man of all time... but I'm not going to officially include him on this list because I talk about him too much as it is already and I feel like enough people love him anyway. However, if anyone is interested in hearing me talk about Nobunaga ad nauseam, I will gladly entertain you.

On to my list ~

1. Caramia, OZMAFIA!! - Ozmafia!! is my favorite otome game (MC be damned) and I love this man sooooooo much. His wedding CG has actually been the background on my phone for ages now. You know the "that's where the trouble began, that damned smile" meme? THAT'S FUCKING FOR HIM THAT'S HIM!!!!!!!!! That smile ruined my entire life in the best possible way and I have not known peace since. I guess I have a bit of A Thing for loveable, charismatic leaders. I just love a man who is full of power but big of heart ... and a little bit of a dumbass. Caramia is just like the total package... He protecc, but he also attacc, and he also a snacc. Oh, and he can cook!!!

2. Fenrir Godspeed, Ikemen Revolution - Fenrir is really, really special to me and I put him in his own category entirely. In reality, Fenrir and Ray are actually tied as my IkeRev biases (and honestly I prefer them together; Alice is optional). Fenrir is actually so close to my heart that I refuse to even look at almost all fanfiction with him in it, with few exceptions. The fear that someone could "ruin" him by writing him in a way that even slightly disagrees with the way I picture him in my head (and I have seen it) is really too much for me to handle. Is this unhealthy of me? Probably, but I tend to avoid the situation all together so it doesn't matter. Not only do I self-insert in my games but I'm also not one of those people who separate fiction from real-life really well, so all of my biases are people I'd actually fall for IRL. And Fenrir is really special to me because he is actually the most perfect, ideal boyfriend in my mind but he is someone I absolutely do not deserve IRL and would probably run from for fear of ruining things. :'] So while any otome game man is a fantasy, he's like... top tier fantasy for me. He's just so perfectly easy-going, such a Prince Charming, Knight in Shining Armor, easy to read, so ready to love you, SO MUCH FUN... he's a Good Boi without being naive and innocent... he's like a wild-yet-safe adventure ugh he's like p e r f e c t I cry

3. Raymond, Blood in Roses - I don't necessarily think Blood in Roses is a great game; it definitely has its hits and its misses BUT it did grant me this one amazing man and therefore I will never uninstall it. I mentioned that I like lovable leaders but I also thoroughly enjoy being able to break down a brick wall of a man. Raymond starts off by being pretty cold to MC, caring really only for his duty (I love a loyal man), but takes MC under his wing anyway... and slowly realizes he has feelings for her and then of course becomes someone who is willing to die for her. This is peak romance, don't @ me.

4. Zen, Mystic Messenger - Zen is actually not my favorite to romance (that honor belongs to Jumin) but he is my #2. More importantly than the romance though, he is such a fucking good guy in every single route... ignoring all of Chertiz's little homophobic undertones of course (man do I wish Chertiz would rewrite Mystic Messenger so it's not so conservative, pleaseeee). He is willing to stand up for and protect MC in every route, not just his own. In all routes, he offers himself to MC as a shoulder to lean on, someone to cry to. He is always helpful to everyone!! Even though he and Jumin don't see eye to eye on most things, Zen is still ultimately supportive of him and wants what's best for him. ZEN IS A TRUE BRO. He's also super chill like he's all about his acting and performing... but he just also wants to drink beer, eat street food, and smoke cigarettes all day. I know people get turned off by his narcissism but fucking look at him okay he has every (!!!) right to be narcissistic. Plus, he doesn't let his ego get in the way of love and friendship and that's very important !!! In this essay, I will -

5. Leonardo DaVinci, Ikemen Vampire - I just want to type his name and send like 150000 weary emojis after it and be done with it. Honestly, it is at the point where I think he is on Nobunaga level for me. I have fallen very, very hard for him. I have two IkeVamp accounts and between the two of them I think I have done his full route about six or seven times. Every time I get to the scene where Comte suggests that Leonardo breaks it off with MC, I want to scream at the top of my lungs "BUT DADDY I LOVE HIM" like Ariel does in The Little Mermaid (Leonardo has his own moment where he internally shouts "I LOVE HER!!!!" so we're even tbh). First of all, HE IS SO FUCKING KNOWLEDGEABLE HE KNOWS SO MUCH AND HE KEEPS LEARNING THAT SHIT IS HOT. Also, I have seen people disagree with me on this but I personally don't think he's patronizing to MC. His MC, unfortunately, is written in that way where "ugh he's so mature and I is babey" so, of course, there are moments where he plays off of that but he literally has SO MUCH KNOWLEDGE and he never is like "wow I can't believe you don't know that you idiot" to MC even though the opportunity to do that is plentiful. He will tease her, sure, but that's totally different than being mean about it. The best thing about him being so intelligent is the fact he's also a fucking dumbass (I love me a dumbass, as you all know). He loves MC so, so much even though he doesn't show that in the smartest of ways all the time... but... he fucking walked into a dress shop and designed a whole ass custom dress for her?? He even picked out the fabric??? And then he pretended like it was Comte who chose it??? HELLOOOOOOOOOOO I LOVE HIM I'M ACTUALLY SCREAMING RIGHT NOW THAT'S WHY I HAVE TO TYPE IN CAPS I LOVE HIS MIND I LOVE HIM

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I'm gonna sneak in an extra number because I absolutely must.

6. Trash, Aloners - If you have never played Aloners, you really should because it is seriously an amazing visual novel (thank you @dear-mrs-otome for casually mentioning this game like one time in a discord server otherwise I’m not sure that I would have found out about it). You can get it for free (or pay $5 for the redeux version), so there’s really no excuse unless you don’t have a computer. The love between MC and Trash is not the main plot of the story necessarily, but Trash is such a good man and he deserves the lovin'. Trash is like the perfect combination of sweet and snarky, respectful yet teasing, competent but dumb, has a good heart but doesn't always make the best decisions... in conclusion, what choice did I have but to fall helplessly in love???

This has been fun, I absolutely love screaming about 2D bois... I hope y’all don’t mind tags (also I haven’t really been around a lot so if you’ve been tagged already I’m sorry ;w;) @luciens-one-and-only-sea-otter @lovingikesen @toonamifaithful @emeraldtawny @littlelady-blackwell @alloveroliver

#tag tag #just otome things #uh it's a list of 2d men I love #just 2d men things #favorite tag #Steeni speak 🔊

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mmchangnam · 5 years

Text

sigh 🤡 follow me, i’ll show you the whole world ( he ! )🠦 shin changnam. my whole world. the whole world. same thing. he’s everything. anyway i’m always here for plotting, i never sleep ig and my discord is ( 🌙 taeil ONLY extras BEGONE !#8289 )

formally known as shin changnam, youngest of the shin family ( shin 3 ), once known for many great deeds ( ie. having a major role in the korean independence movement w/ his ancestor cheongcheon, and also aiding noko during the great famine 94 ) he is nowadays just a barbecue prince. leads an extremely quaint, quiet life. super normal family, pretty normal kid.

the shin bbq place is pretty well known, good location and wizard friendly ~ their name may not exactly be making waves like the lee’s, moon’s or won’s in current day, but they get by! some of the elderly still think of this place fondly for it’s been run by the shins. and uh, i’m not trying to say the food is good as hell and the prices are better but hey. that’s exactly what i’m saying

he’s 16 int, 18 kr. a first year. house baek ho ! baek ho represent !!!!

not the smartest kid but definitely one of the hardest working kids you know in yosul right now. he walked through those doors ready to make waves.

literally involved in everything he can be without maxing himself out.

this includes:

baek ho first year prefect,

herbology club

chollima’s fan club

baek ho announcer for the intramural quidditch team

tbh he’s a classic extrovert. he is so babey. he’s such a cinnamon roll !!!!!!!!!!!!! also he WILL do horrible aegyo to get his way don’t fucking tempt him, it’ll be so cringe and you’re going to break in 10 seconds, BET.

he likes to tease and horse around, gently bullies his friends, speaks informally to hyungs, and just generally is likely asking for an ass beating at almost all times.

definitely the kid who’s quiet in class except when he’s answering questions or asking them, but then he goes into the hall and he’s like AH YO WADDUP YOSUL MAKE SOMe NOIZE !

very nice boy !!!! very very nice boy !!! many good in his heart !!!

he doesn’t know who he wants to be right now, or what he wants to be when he grows up. but herbology and magical creatures really get him jazzed. he also kind of loves charms though. he’s bad at math though, he’ll leave you on read @ anything like math or reading.

he probably seems like the kid who’s going to be at the back of the yearbook in like 5 most ! / least ! likely categories. like most likely to accidentally become president etc.

decided way more innocent than he seems. but he’s goin through some growing pains atm, and could really use lots of friends and a good support system.

uh he doesn’t sleep! he’s an insomniac and it shows, he always has dark circles under his eyes and looks like death so maybe it’s weird that he talks so much and always seems like he’s at 100% energy, but you just learn to accept it after a while.

he will fight you over his best friends, or making girls cry.

prefect hours always open, soft boy hours always open, loving friends hours always open. CHEONG RYEONG HOURS ALWAYS CLOSED !!!!!! ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ proven fact is that BAEK HO is best house, JU JAK is second best house and HYEON MU are cute so they’re ok too!!!!! dragons are YUCK and will NOT beat intramural baek ho team EVER you hear what i’m sayin WHITE TIGER FAR SUPERIOR!!!???!!!

currently dyed his hair (again) it’s like this now! when will the merry-go-round end? it’s like warm light brown now!

i’m not even going to suggest plot bunnies, i’ll do it in dms on a personal basis because i have a lot of ideas for dynamics so hmu ! ! ! in hindsight i lied, in the updated version of this ( i am including VERY basic plots concepts i’m seeking ) because i’m a clown.

CLOSE FRIENDS. best friend spot TAKEN but it is ok fellow cuties he has a BIG heart

people he can baby and bring food or cook food for. let the baby baby you for FREE at least once a week

a very pretty noona/hyung that he can get tongue tied around

hyungs that hate when he informally talks to them and also bullies them ( feel free to bully him back, he can take it )

SPORTS! anyone interested in quidditch, playing quidditch etc. people who like his teams, people who are fans of rivals teams.

someone who will make him into a terrible prefect because he sometimes does you favors or lets you go free without getting in trouble...

tutor him in math today for money or other favors because the boy can’t even add....

you can, without absolutely any trouble, adopt him!!!! FREE baby bro, exclusive offer, with experience (youngest and only son in his family!!!) he can make barbecue...not limited time offer.

he loves magical creatures and herbology atm (it’s his flavor of the week) so maybe you love those too, or maybe you hate them and it’s like wtf weirdo plant boy get out of my way!

#mm:intro #mm:plotcall

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solemncadaver · 5 years

Text

Friendsim Trolls According to my Girlfriend who hasn’t played Friendsim

Ardata (Cobalt): w... who took bites out of her horns? Can and will kill you in your sleep. Plotting evil plans 23/7 (the 24th hour is for drinking coffee with LOTS of milk and sugar)

Diemen (Rust): Always eating food (why is that hot dog bun GREEN-), will never call you by your name, only nicknames like bro, dude, man etc, probably owns a skateboard but can't drive it

Cirava (Gold): Oo funky! Has a horrible backstory and doesn't talk about it EVER, is chill all the time, likes 70s-80s fashion and actually wears it with style! Is as extra as the fact they've got 4 horns

Amisia (Indigo): definitely an artist! The "weird kid", has not slept in 5 days because she just HAD to finish that one painting, cuts her own hair with scissors not meant for cutting hair yet it looks amazingly good! Probably either super pure and nice or will kill you if you breathe in her direction

Bronya (Jade): The cool big sister, helps you do your makeup and dye your hair, if you hurt one of her friends those boots will land in your face, probably has a tumblr with aesthetic images

Skylla (Bronze): Yeehaw howdy pardner! Isn't only from a ranch, she OWNS one! Can and will punch you for no reason, makes you do her chores if you wanna stay at her place, has never seen a hairbrush in her life

Tagora (Teal): Tries his best to be edgy and frightening, sometimes almost fails at that, could be in one of those "barber: say no more fam" memes, thinks he's an evil overlord but is actually just a delinquent, probably doesn't get a redemption arc and only like 2 people are mad about that

Vikare (Bronze): Wants to be a pilot/is a pilot but DON'T TRUST THEM WITH AN AIRPLANE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, pretends wearing that pilot hat is a fashion choice when in reality they can't take it off again with those horns, nobody has ever seen them sleep and people are concerned

Polypa (Olive): The most feral being (or she fell down the stairs and is mad about it), problems balancing with only one eye able to see, could claw out your heart and not bat an eye, the hole in her horn is from when someone tried to take her out, nobody has ever seen that person afterwards

Zebruh (Indigo): Looks like an ASSHOLE. What are his horns doing they're not pointed that's not how horns should work, very smug! Has a shitty job and is pretentious about it to people w/o a job, looks like the cryptic bartender in a stereotypical drama thriller that the detective has to interview to know who killed the rich guy's wife

Elwurd (Cobalt): Look at those extra af horns! Def owns a motorcycle, flirty but has never received actual affection, has a mental breakdown every 2 days but pretends EVERYTHING'S FINE, makes 5 puns a minute

Folykl & Kuprum (Gold): What a goal: Carry your bud around in your giant ass backpack! I......don't know who is who tbh but! They both have cool spider looking horns! The best evidence for 'opposites attract', the only friends they have are each other, secretly planning to overthrow the government

Remele (Cobalt): The x on her left eye symbolizes that she has found her next victim. It's you. Run. Could probably use her horn as a climbing hook, v passive aggressive, makes her own clothes, works out a lot and is stronger than she looks

Konyyl (Olive): My fight, flight or flirt instincts have been activated. Could snap you in half by looking at you yet can be super soft if she wants to (you gotta be REAL close to her though), likes matcha ice cream and yells at it when it melts, is NOT tidy

Chixie (Bronze): Shy babey. Will probably be interrupted 3 times when trying to speak because she's just so quiet, has been left on her own and now has no idea how to survive yet is too shy to ask for the way. Someone come help her please.

Tyzias (Teal): Bored college student. Will NOT help you in an emergency so don't even ask. Secretly likes cryptids, is Done (tm), nobody has ever seen her outside of campus, roasts people in the most monotone voice ever

Chahut (Purple): F-... fear ':)? Eh, that's probably just paint! Right? Right???... Is probably being forced to do horrible things, can't remember their childhood, looks scary but only unintentionally, I'd still smooch tbh

Azdaja (Gold): Reminds me of that ching prince from FMA:B tbh, has a weird aesthetic going on, has the upper hand everywhere without trying, probably has 3 fake names, is always cool but can slip up and make goofy remarks

Zebede (Gold): Smol round boi! Probably played soccer in 5th grade, now makes v interesting and functional machines from Lego, probably owned a pet hamster at some point, has no sense of danger

Tegiri (Teal): Is that a KATANA-.... Still not out of his weeb phase, is VERY devoted to his aesthetic, talks either in one word sentences or dramatic quotes from a show nobody has seen, shop owner who sells you weapons

Mallek (Cobalt): Oh look it your hubby! He looks like a trickster tbh yet all the fanart looks sweet and pure!? (Also how do you pierce horns-) how many piercings has he though? Is there fanart- 👀... anyways he kinda looks like the popular kid and the emo kid combined, but like in a good way!?! Probably has a secret key for the whole town that he shouldn't have, can store everything in that hoodie pocket (it's like Hermione's bag :3!)

Lynera (Jade): Looks like the weird art/music teacher, v nice though! Has a lot of weird hobbies that her friends politely decline to join, likes to bake for everyone, likes children or absolutely loathes them

Galekh (Indigo): Is this Roman from Sanders Sides? Jdhdkd he looks like the strict angry teacher, will absolutely refuse giving help and does not allow any flaws (both in you and in himself) can spot someone doing illegal things from a mile away, is not afraid to call people out

Tirona (Teal): Look at that spider hair! Looks good 👉👉, is probs v shy and awkward but tries to talk to everyone anyways, has some exotic pets that she doesn't tell anyone about bc someone once said it's weird, just wants to be accepted, clumsy af

Boldir (Olive): Hiding ..... something ...., private but not stealthy investigator, is distracted way too easily, is the detective I mentioned back at Zebruh's, v loyal, will absolutely get you arrested if you're *in the way*

Stelsa (Teal): Looks like a cool but bitchy mom, probably gets a manicure every week, she looks just like my mom which is scary wth, will not hesitate to roast Karen at the school bake sale, those lemon bars are horrible KAREN, why didn't you let your third husband help K A R E N

Karako (Purple): What- ?

I-.... I'm confused! But okay!

Never makes sense, nobody has ever seen them eat or sleep, appears in your room at 2 am when you have sleep paralysis

Marsti (Rust): Probably is like the classic mechanic, can weld 👌👏👉👉👍, is done with everyone's bullshit but will still try to help (occasionally), drinks too many energy drinks and not enough water, everyone asks her for favors and she is having none of it

Charun (Olive): Peaceful gardener, don't stand in their sun and they won't bother whatever you do, just wants a little farm house near a small town with his pet cat, don't walk on their vegetables or they'll chase you with a rake

Wanshi (Jade): Just a nice person. A total sweetheart. Just wants to have fun, very optimistic, the most functional person you'll ever meet, drinks a lot of green tea and hot chocolate

Fozzer (Rust): Nice person but not very bright, doesn't know how electronics work, has a flip phone from like 2006 and that's enough for him, has a lot of houseplants but can't really keep them alive

Marvus (Purple): 👀👀👀 You know how I think about him (😭🍀😏😎🍀💖🌾❤ 11/10 best ti🅱🅱y window would allow him to stab me)

Daraya (Jade): Smol but will fight you. Is super done and will not help you, but also won't stop you. Probably has 2-4 knifes somewhere on her body at all time.

Nihkee (Indigo): Looks like a pirate captain + professional wrestler in one, like! Probably drinks their coffee black just so people respect them more, will show off every trophy they have (a lot) if someone decides to listen to them

Lanque (Jade): 👀👀👀👍 the most dramatic and salty being alive, v stylish, takes 2 hours a day just to get ready, probably has 16 meetings a day, could work as a model, will cut anyone and everyone that says he should change something about him

Soleil (Purple): Ah yes, the obligatory twins. Probably cursed by a spiteful witch at birth, have never been seen seperate, occasionally like to scare people by pretending to be the twins from shining

I’m crying

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whifferdills · 6 years

Text

albums i have enjoyed this year

check em out maybe

(look before tumblr implodes i AM going to use my minimal popularity to attempt to make people listen to my best jamz)

Ariana Grande - Sweetener - maybe you’ve been living under a rock or just avoid radio pop on principle and somehow managed to miss this one, idk. it’s great though and i’m so happy Ari is our main pop girl rn. (choice track: “Breathin”)

Mitski - Be the Cowboy - cinematic and tender and a touch weird. hugely emotional without ever feeling like a drag. it’s got bops, it’s got bangers, it’s got ballads. pop music for sad indie kids. i esp dig the Elvis Costello and the Attractions ish new wave organ that pops up here and there (ct: ”Washing Machine Heart”)

IDLES - Joy as an Act of Resistance - snarling, moody post-punk. doesn’t break any new ground but if you like that kind of thing, boy HOWDY is it good (ct: “Colossus”)

Pusha T - DAYTONA - shame that Kanye is...Kanye, bc his production here is why I fell in love back when “Through the Wire” dropped. the sparse, soulful sample-propelled beats work like *chef’s kiss* with Pusha’s flow. short, concise coke raps from two dudes operating at the top of their game. effortless, no fuckin around, just to-the-point qual la T (ct: “If You Know You Know”)

Iceage - Beyondless - swaggering, woozy rock and roll. idk how to listen to this album during the day. lil bit like a hardcore band tried to do a Velvet Underground album and failed, but like, in a good way ("Pain Killer”)

Brandi Carlile - By the Way, I Forgive You - WXPN singer-songwriter stuff in the best sense. this could be your cool aunt’s favorite album. earnest and heartfelt and yanno sometimes we all need some cheese in our lives (”The Joke”)

Moodie Black - Lucas Acid - backpack rap but the backpack is also filled with angular hooks, gender dysphoria, and about fifty pounds of industrial grime. angry and off-kilter and noisy and anxious. (”Sway”)

SOPHIE - Oil of Every Pearl’s Un-Insides - equal parts abrasive weirdness and deep vulnerability. the very best of ‘what the fuck is this’ future pop anchored by confessional intimacy. lowkey one of the best concept albums i’ve seen in yonks - this is an album about transition, and the fact she just out here not only giving us great music but putting an emotional transfemme narrative into the (relative) mainstream is Big (”Is it Cold in the Water?”)

Travis Scott - ASTROWORLD - ADHD album of the year. this thing is restless, picking up an idea and then dropping it for the next shiny thing a minute later. and it’s all fuckin great, and at some point the disjointedness turns into its own sort of kitchen-sink Vine-compilation flow. also i just like his voice so. (”Stop Trying to be God”)

Kacey Musgraves - Golden Hour - COUNTRY POP IS BACK BABEY. a warm summer afternoon of an album. homey and shimmery and optimistic. the songwriting and production are basically perfect, this is basically a perfect album. would be undisputed AOTY for me if it wasn’t currently dark-at-4-pm wintertime thus limiting my ability to listen to anything this comfortable and bright (”Slow Burn“)

Grouper - Grid of Points - speaking of SAD theme music. much like IDLES, this is a ‘if you like the thing then you will like this specific thing’ - it’s a Grouper album, it’s drifty and distant and soothing and slightly unsettling. it does feel a touch less grim than earlier albums but, yanno, is still Grouper (”Driving”)

The Beths - Future Me Hates Me - THE 90S ARE BACK BABEY. this is like, “songs that would have played at the Bronze” type earnest pop punk. catchy, jangly, relatably awkward. songs to put on the jukebox and drunkenly dance and sing along while your friends try not to judge you. (”Happy Unhappy”)

Troye Sivan - Bloom - THE 80S ARE - anyway. pure pop confection. bops bout bottoming. this is for dancing alone in your room lipsyncing into a hairbrush. (”My My My”)

Janelle Monae - Dirty Computer - this kind of makes me want to go listen to Prince, but it’s still super enjoyable. I love Janelle but i’ve never been a whole-album fan of hers? if that makes sense? and this isn’t an exception. but when it hits, mm. one day she will release an album so good the world fuckin stops for it, but until then, this is p good. (”Make Me Feel”)

Snail Mail - Lush - more 90s alt rock i know I KNOW. it’s solid tho. idk if i’d rate it as highly as tastemakers seem to be doing but it does the thing, it does it well. a really good album for listening to on the train. (”Heat Wave”)

Robyn - Honey - it’s fuckin Robyn. again, this is one of those, like, ‘robyn did a good album, do you like robyn? you’ll love this’ things. a scotch more jittery and confessional than you might expect, but i doubt it’d change any minds, but, fuck dude. Robyn is BACK BABEY (”Call Your Girlfriend”)

Tierra Whack - Whack World - as ADHD as ASTROWORLD but instead of doing ALL THE THINGS ALL THE TIME it does an assortment of things very briefly. like a sketchbook of an album. these are all bops and i can’t decide whether i appreciate every song being a minute long, or mad. (”Fruit Salad”)

Parquet Courts - Wide Awake! - dancey post punk. Parquet Courts remains my favorite, uh, Sound? when it comes to guitar music - the tone, the mixing, they just do right by their instruments. in the grand tradition of Gang of Four’s white people funk involving yelling about...whatever (”Wide Awake”)

s/o to Kids See Ghosts, bc I can only do one Kanye-adjacent album this year but that was p good; the new Mariah, Charlie Puth for “Done for Me”, and all the albums i’ve forgotten about bc 2018 was like four years long. also lemme know what i missed like hmu with your ALBUMS OF THE YEAR

#atmospheric background music #things you don't care about

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