#anyway once again. these books are so good bc every time i pick them up i find something new. its amazing
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-the hunger games, page 85
this is a fascinating little passage that appears near the start of the first book, and the importance of the avox girl in these early scenes cannot be understated. when we encounter the avox girl, we begin to explore katniss’ guilt at not showing the girl compassion when she’d had the chance, the story as she tells it to peeta, and her subsequent apology.
the line “just like i was watching the games” is noticeably and deeply significant here. at this point, katniss hasn’t even had her conversation with peeta about not being a piece in the games, and yet here, we can already see katniss independently recognizing the degree to which the games dehumanize the tributes. her comparison of her inability — or unwillingness — to help the avox girl in the woods to watching a tribute in the games demonstrates how insidious this way of thinking can become. here, even before entering the arena herself, katniss has articulated that years of watching the games made it easier for her to refuse help someone in need. what’s crucial here, is that this fact deeply disturbs her. it’s one that she carries so much shame about that she cannot even share it with peeta in her retelling of the story.
it’s notable that the story of the avox girl in the woods is one that takes place while she is with gale, and is also one of the first that she recounts to peeta in the very early stages of their friendship. it’s also notable that the one piece of the story she omits in her retelling is her inability to help the girl. here, it’s as if we can already see katniss comparing her own compassion and regard for humanity to peeta — because she remembered how he had helped her at a cost to himself when he’d had the chance, she’s embarrassed to admit to him that in a similar situation (albeit with somewhat higher stakes) she was unable to do the same for this girl. at this point in the novel, peeta has not yet even admitted to his crush — katniss is still under the impression that he helped her solely out of kindness, possibly without even knowing who she was. thus, her intentional omission of her own refusal to help the avox girl feels pretty significant here. while gale is witness — and furthermore, he is a contributing party — to all of this, it is peeta who she feels she has to hide her true behavior. in this way, we see katniss already comparing the two boys and putting their actions (or lack thereof) in conversation with each other.
but what’s especially fascinating here is that she does make an effort to apologize to the girl. in fact, she tries multiple times. while she still holds a great deal of guilt over her inaction in the past, she makes a decisive effort to show the girl humanity and compassion in the present. she’s had time to reflect on her actions and feel shame over them. but rather than ignoring this and simply accepting peetas excuse of thinking the avox girl looked like delly, katniss instead makes a decisive attempt to acknowledge her pain and apologize for the hurt she may have caused — and as we know, the girl will go on to forgive her for it. although there is nothing she can functionally do to help her now, katniss refuses to excuse herself from showing this girl compassion now that she has the chance. easy as it might be to just forget about the whole thing and pretend it hadn’t happened, she doesn’t let it go. katniss still tries to show her kindness.
katniss’ manner of recounting the story to peeta, which is one of the first private, full-length conversations they have, tells us a great deal about her character and how she views herself (and gale) in comparison to peeta. her guilt over her inaction in the woods, coupled with her admiration of peeta and her desire to mirror the kind of compassion he once showed her, as well as her insistence on somehow showing the avox girl compassion as soon as she has the ability to do so, are all crucial character beats that form a background and context for a great deal of her behavior and many of her choices going forward.
#caroline speaks#thg#thg thoughts#does this even make sense?#i wrote this at like 1am in a fit of deranged thinking and i barely edited it but. here’s some thoughts about my bb girl katniss#anyway once again. these books are so good bc every time i pick them up i find something new. its amazing
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idk how detailed of a prompt ur looking for but: Eddie thinks Steve's chest hair is hot for the bingo
im thinking of them going to the lake or something and Steve takes off his shirt and Eds nearly has a heatt attack bc yeah he'd seen Steve's chest before but he kinda repressed it? along with the whole upside down deal so he's like choking at the sight and at the newly found memory lol
but anything you come up with will be amazing im sure <3
every time i get a prompt i rub my lil raccoon hands together ehehehe
They weren't going to Lover's Lake. That had been the one thing everyone agreed on at first. Too much to unpack but it went without saying that no one wanted to relive the memory of what had happened in those waters. They all packed up and went about three hours away to a totally different town with a totally different lake.
"Summer time, a bunch of teens, a town where no one knows us", Eddie commented as they parked. "Did we just drive into another horror movie set up?"
"I think we can handle some random killer in the woods", Jonathan said.
Eddie couldn't argue. He knew for a fact that Steve had packed away his oh so trusty nail bat and that Nancy was strapped too. At a moment's notice, Robin looked ready to turn a beer into a makeshift molotov. But that was the last thought he wasted on the spring break from hell. Because the moment everything was set up, Steve pulled his shirt off like he was in a goddamn cologne ad.
That unnecessarily sexy way where he grabbed it off his back and pulled it of, shaking out his hair as if it would dare to fall out of place.
So here's the thing.
Eddie saw Steve shirtless that one time back in Hawkins. But it had been dark, and they were on a boat hunting an evil wizard and then in an underworld running from demon bats and there had been a lot going on, okay? He's ogled Steve plenty since then, now that he had time to, but he hadn't had an opportunity to see his naked chest again.
"Put on sunscreen!", Robin shouted, tossing it at Steve's head.
"Ow! Rude!" Steve picked it up and obeyed anyway, starting at his arms. Time seemed to slow. Or maybe Steve was purposely going slow, it was hard to tell. Then his eyes met Eddie and his next stroke up towards his neck seemed very intentional.
Eddie swallowed.
"Mind getting my back?", Steve asked.
Eddie didn't trust his mouth for once, so he just nodded, taking the tube of sunscreen and was definitely not thinking about squirting another kind of creamy white substance onto this beautifully dotted back. He tried to distract himself by looking at what the others were doing. Jonathan had already lit up a joint that he was now passing to Nancy. Robin was laid out in a chair, nose in a book.
Argyle was leading the kids down the shore to where they could rent out canoes. Or was it kayaks? All Eddie knew was that El was adamant on some sort of boating adventure.
"You okay back there?", Steve asked.
"Yep, yup, mhm. Almost done." He was done. The sunscreen was completely gone and he was just rubbing circles into his skin for no reason.
"You mind doing my chest too?"
"Wh-hat?", Eddie choked.
"I don't really like the feel of sunscreen on my hands", Steve justified and that was good enough for Eddie.
He still wasn't prepared for when Steve turned around. Eddie sat between his legs and god this might've been the closest they've ever been. Especially with this little amount of clothes between them, both of them in their swimming trunks and nothing else. Eddie squeezed some sunscreen onto his hands first, rubbing them together and warming it before pressing them to Steve's chest.
Goddamn it felt so....would it get thicker as he got older? It went all the way up to his collarbone and there was just a hint of a happy trail now but maybe with some time...
"They do know we're still here, right?", Nancy asked after letting out a puff. True, they were some feet away but still.
"I've got a spray bottle in case they go below the waist", Robin said, shaking said bottle.
Steddie bingo under the cut
#apo writes#stranger things#fanfiction#steddie#thanks for the ask!#no they're not dating#yet#but by the end of this trip they might be#given that steve is straight up seducing eddie LOL
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A few Cerise Hood HCs <3
okay so obviously- shes tall. like 5'11
ramona is 6 foot, tho. she constantly brags about being taller
once every few months, her whole family rents an air bnb in the middle of nowhere. they all go meet there and spend a few days together where no one can see. they do a full week twice a year
cerise is very ticklish, and her mom is a tickler
nobody in school knows shes ticklish because her friends are very respectful of her personal space, since cerise is uncomfortable with physical contact, and everyone else is too scared to touch her, much less tickle her
MUSCLES!!!! LOTS OF THEM!!!!!!!
she has a very unhealthy obsession with hot chips
and she will put an absolutely insane amount of hot sauce on her food. she used to use only a normal amount of hot sauce on her food, but has been slowly increasing the amount just to mess with raven, who has zero spice tolerance
always asks raven if she wants a taki when she buys a bag. again, just to mess with her
loves film bro movies. yk like christopher nolan, quentin tarentino, martin scorsese type stuff
is starting to get genuinely concerned as to why cedar hasnt picked up on her being half-wolf. i mean they LIVE TOGETHER
the truth is every time cerise slips up and does something um wolf-like, cedars like hmm interesting i guess thats just a human thing i didnt know about and forgets about it
sparrow considered cerise his cool cousin. cerise considers him her annoying cousin
used to sneak liquor with sparrow at family reunions (hood side only obviously)
does finger guns way too much
she has on multiple occasions used her cloak to pretend shes batman while singing "something in the way" in a raspy voice
knows so much gossip bc shes so quiet and in the shadows that people forget shes there and talk right in front of her
has a habit of biting her nails
went through a fnaf phase when she was 10-11
has had the same pair of ratty, falling apart converse for years now and refuses to buy new ones
running with carmine through the forest is like therapy to her. any time shes stressed she'll go for a run to take her mind off things
sometimes she'll decide to take a quick nap with carmine, but she has a habit of just falling asleep for hours in the forest
sometimes she would accidentally sleep out way past curfew and have to sneak in to her dorm
cedar taught her how to paint (i think theres actually a frame in the series showing cerise painting a wolf)
cerise doesnt paint often, but occasionally when cedar is painting, she'll come sit next to her and do her own thing
cerises dad loves rock music. he was definitely a "what band is this?" dad. music is one of the things they bond over the most
he gave her a diskman for her last birthday and has bought her a cd every time they've visited each other since then
she talks and moves around alot in her sleep
its scared the crap out of cedar on several occasions
will bite you if you steal her food
has bit ramona for stealing her food
has been bit by ramona for stealing her food
is always uncomfortable around the rich royals, but has always felt somewhat at ease around ashlynn for some reason, she has no idea why
cupid knows cerises secret, of course she knows how to spot a werewolf
she has very fast reflexes
when the students had their year book pictures taken, the photographer refused to take cerises picture unless she took her hood off. cerise argued with him for a while before she finally just walked out
she tried explaining the situation to headmaster grimm but he just told her that if she wants to be in the yearbook, she has to follow the photographers rules
the truth is grimm was getting suspicious about the hood and wanted to see what was up. he paid the photographer to try to get her to take the hood off
anyways now hes even more suspicious
eventually, once a good amount of students join the rebellion, cerise reveals her secret
once she finally looses the hood, she decides to get a haircut. she gets a wolf cut, of course
a few months after her secret is revealed, its as if her personality did a complete 180. she becomes much more confident. louder. happier.
#eah#ever after high#cerise hood#cedar wood#raven queen#ashlynn ella#ramona badwolf#c.a. cupid#eah headcanons
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I’m not a stone butch myself, though am the type of service top that can happily go without. Generally if I want to be touched it’s once in a while, very gently, in between the four or so times I’m giving. Regardless, I just want to say as someone who isn’t stone that that the way you are is complete and perfect and good. I love and appreciate and know stone butches and I love and appreciate and know how important high femmes are to them. Everyone who gets all fucked about pillow princesses can’t get past their own limited perspective and understand what a relief it is for stone butches to find a high femme, to find a sexual partner that doesn’t pressure them into something they don’t really want or very very rarely want, who takes it personally, etc. I’ve seen that look of relief over beers at the bar, when a friend finally finds that genuinely liberating sex. Even for me, who isn’t stone, sex with high femmes has helped me figure out who I am and has been complete and perfect and good (so good).
I want to say that sometimes this negativity towards high femmes comes from a place of trauma. Some of us came out in small towns or otherwise stifling circumstances where our only encounters were with ostensibly straight women who found us good enough to fuck them but not good enough to fuck back. Although that’s no excuse for turning your hurt into an attack on stone identities, I also understand that hurt and I hope those people can heal.
Mostly I think it’s just entitlement. Jealousy that they find someone hot and they aren’t available to them because they don’t have sex the way they want to have sex. Too fucking bad.
I really need more people to pick up a book or look up some old zines and learn our history.
Anyway. You don’t need anyone to validate you but I really wanted to say don’t listen to those idiots.
-🧰 (this is the barbecue anon btw 😉)
oh man i’m getting kinda emotional about this…🥺 thank you so so much for reaching out, i can’t tell you how much it means to me.
the way you spoke about the relief on your stone butch friends’ faces 🥹💕 god, that’s everything. i hope i can help give someone that sense of relief and safety someday. thank you for speaking so kindly about your experiences with stone femmes, it’s validating to hear that sex with us can be complete and good in its own right.
also there’s a lot of diversity within stone and the ways we like to receive and give. for example, i have touched a partner, both directly and indirectly, to give them pleasure, and would again. i have eaten out a partner and would again. there are stone femmes who wouldn’t do those things, and they’re wonderful and sexy and skilled, but it’s weird when ppl automatically assume a stone femme won’t touch a partner below the belt in any way bc some of us do! we just do it very carefully and on our own terms. the only thing i really can’t do is penetrating a partner. dysphoria is the best word to describe the feeling it gives me. once i put on the harness as a joke and looked in the mirror and it made me nauseous lol.
and thank you so much for providing insight into the other perspective, of bad experiences with “straight” women leading to pain around lack of reciprocity in the bedroom. i know how true that is. almost every queer person i’ve ever had a deep conversation with has a story like that. it helps me to understand where this disdain comes from and to hold compassion. 💞
#clarke answers#stone identity#🧰 anon#i’m very glad to hear from you again btw 🤭💖 i really enjoyed your ask~#and love the toolbox emoji 😘#long post
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for the choose violence ask game: 10, 16, 18!
HELLO BABY!!! sorry in advance since this is all about DAMEN DAMEN and DAMEN cause duh... ik it's not a trendy expression anymore but he really does live rent free in my head 💔
10. worst part of fanon
OH DEAR..... yk i'm trying really hard to not sound deranged and delusional but i feel like there are so many skewed interpretations of damen even though the books are literally from his pov. here are some of them:
a. "damen is an unreliable narrator" i've literally gone to battle with people over this take cause NO HE'S FUCKING NOT?? you say 'damen didn't see laurent's good qualities and was overly judgemental of veretians' i say damen not fucking with his captors who's been nothing but awful to him doesn't mean he was unreliable!! it wasn't like laurent was a golden angel and damen willingly hated on him for nothing. book 1 laurent treated him horribly and damen had every reason and right to not trust him or find him honorable.
b. "damen was a fuckboy who discarded the people he slept with the second he was done with them before laurent" breaking news: if someone sleeps with a lot of people that means he has no respect for them and is bound to treat them like shit! the lack of canon evindence doesn't matter!
(if the take is about damen not being in love with his partners before laurent then i'm on board!! it's the implication that damen was an inconsiderate sex partner that boggles my mind cause... did we read the same books?)
c. "damen is actually bad at sex" is a take/joke(?) i've seen MULTIPLE times and it never fails to make me think what a fucking stupid thing it is to say ❤️
d. "damen learned empathy from laurent" ????? lmao. anyways...
e. "damen was lazy and kastor picked up his slack" is everything ok with your eyes? when's the last time you've seen an ophthalmologist?
f. "theomedes neglected damen" damen literally spends page after page reminiscing about his father's words, advices and their last days together. he also says theo was the only parent he knew all his life and since someone needed to raise him to be this fascinating gentle giant... 1+1=3???
g. any interpretation where damen is some sort of neanderthal who is a selfish spoiled and clueless oaf who needs to be educated by girlypopboss laurent OR where he lets laurent walk all over him and has no agenda of his own. just... no.
16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing
any setting where laurent is downright cold and rude towards damen FOR NO APPARENT REASON and yet damen is still obsessed with him, again for some mysterious reason??? not to sound like some know-it-all condescending bitch (tho i suspect to some degree i'm already infamous and some ppl dislike me bc of it 🥺 oh well...) but i think most people forget damen only started giving laurent the time of his day once laurent started showing him basic deceny during pg. i really don't think he'd be interested in someone who rebuked him at every chance and showed no interest at him.
(some ppl give jokaste as an example to excuse this but damen only says jokaste wasn't easily courted aka she didn't immediately jump into his bed (which is admirable omg... i wouldn't be as strong...) he never said she aloof towards him)
18.it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...
THE FACT DAMEN IS A HUGE NERD!!! seriously, who listens to FOUR HOURS of poetry in one sitting... we all tend to focus on his martial insterests but ik my boy is also a sophisticated man 💅
#TYSM FOR THIS ASK!! i sincerely apologize if i talked too much 🥹#also sorry for committing no doubt a ton of grammatical errors lmao#captive prince
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parts of the npmd soundtrack that scratch my brain perfectly (act 2)
again its all under the cut. i hope this is comprehensible its longer than the last one. idk what else to say
HATCHET TOWN
dan's whole bit at the start. just the way he says everything. so good
the ahh ahh ahhs
the electric guitar <3
curt's voice for bailey esp the growl
A LOSIN STREAKS COMIN!
the smoooothness of corey's voice and the way he sings things auuauauuau
IF HE GETS ME NEXT I COULD BE THREE!
the harmonies on man down down down down
the little plinky organ melody in the backround that comes in halfway through the chorus UAUUAUAUA
the way jon says donna
donna's "DAN!!!"
i certainly dont LOVE killing!
the harmonies on "bailey's/barry's on the loose and he's got a gun" (im talking mainly abt the soundtrack and not the proshot so bailey is more applicable here but both r so good)
I'M A COP!
fits the bill! it fits the bill!
THE HARMONIES ON THE SECOND MAN DOWN DOWN DOWN DOWN UAUUAUAUAU
the who's swingin the hatchet now harmonies
HATCHET TOOOOOWN
I AM THE MAYOR!!!!
HOW DARE YOU!!!
bryce's solo <3 all of it is so good
BOY JERRY <3 and gerald monroe ig but i love jerry
LET'S KILL 'IM!
CAN I SHIT OR WILL I DROWN
kim's little opera bit
the final in hatchet town harmony <3
JUST FOR ONCE
this whole song in general btw. i love ruth fleming so so so so so so so so so much this song was such a silly contemperary theatre tribute
NO, i haven't seen your grill brush, MAURY. huh YEAH! i used it to BRUSH MY HAIR this morning CANT YOU TELL. ugh
DONT LEAVE ME OUT HERE WITH THE MEAT, MAURY! medium WHA? how can something be medium AND WELL, MAURY?
ugh. maury.
*sigh* i turned 40 today.
the piano coming in
the synthy strum
the way lauren sings the word saturday. her voice throughout this whole song just scratches the brain itch so well
the way she says window, right, dream, and had
they never win
and LIIIIIFE is FULLL of all of the Trappings of The Well to Dew
god i love ruth. i love this song i love this song.
the slight tonal shift (thats not the right word ugh) for the choruses.
39 I LOSE MY HAIR UNDER CAREFUL CHEMO TREATMENT
the way lauren says ensnared
JUDGE ME.
IT FUCKING WORKED I'M FUCKING HERE HE'S FUCKING HER IM DISAPPOINTED
and of the two who's the worse for wear (ME.)
the tambourine
idk what that instrument is in the bg of second chorus it sounds like a saxaphone but also synthy???? idk but i love it
SHOULD I FLIP THE BURGERS NOWWW!
the clarity of lauren's first oh UAUAUA
SHOULD I LET THE YEARS COOOK MY BODY DOWN IN FRONT OF HIM
all 3 just for onces esp the last one with the riff
THE WAY THAT BEHIND THE JUST FOR ONCES YOU CAN HEAR THE "if i can finally be cool i will know that i'm not a loser" MOTIF AUUAUAISUAUUAISIAU
the way the tone calms back down but its still like so vulnerable... uuuuuauu
the way she says every word in this last verse
i used to dance :(
IF I LOVED YOU
THE SYNTH
I NEVER WANTED YEW ANYWAY!
joey's general tone in this UAUAU so good
mariah's deeper voice HEART EYES AUUUU
i just love lautski this song is so good i can barely pick things out bc this whole song scratches my brain
joey's lil growl on "oh babe i'd let u know"
OOOO! i guess we'd better save the date!
need a lover MAYUN
i love when jeff blim crams a lot of syllables into an amount of time like that its so fun
the harmonies <3
wake me up when u turn 18!!!
if i IF I!!!!!
the repeating round style of singing in order to come together eventually I lov them
dissonance <3
THE SUMMONING
the way the lords names are sung i love it sm
the lords names being whispered in the background
tNOY karaxis
WIGGOG WIGGOG Y'WRATH
the woah ohs and the drums kicking in
the music cutting out
HELLO FWENDY WENDS
the we will build a portal motif
the laughter
just the whole little lord verses its so discordant and fun and i love it so much i love the voices they put on i love the lyrics
LA LA LA LA LA ALALALALALA
the book has all but closed on ur life!
THE LORDS IN BLACK ARE THE LORDS IN BLACK ARE
blinky's we've been watching u gracie
the way curt says spankoffski and toy box
GOOOO NIGHTHAWKS!
tinky's laugh
jon's wiggly voice
WHY HELP U WITH THE JAGERMAN WHEN WE CAN HELP THE WORLD
the drums
swallow his soul i wanna lick it!
i wanna see thaaaat
WHATEVER WE WANT WE WANT WE WANT WHATEVER WE WANT WE GET
AAAAUHGUGH there IS something!
something FUN!!!
the lords in black the lords in black call us...
what do u want steph...
do it... or DIE
WE DONT GIVE A SHIT ABT UR PHONE!
AHHHHHHUHGHHH THERE HE IS
what's in your pocket STEPH-A-KNEE
STEPHANIE HAS GOT A GUN TRALALALA HOW FUN! STEPHANIE HAS GOT A GUN SHE KNOWS WHAT MUST BE DONE
i love this whole song its so silly and crazy
YUM YUM!
or FUCK OFF
that last "the lords in black the lords in black call us"
COOL AS I THINK I AM REPRISE
this one makes me really sad :( still so good
one of us is in love :(((((((((
it doesnt TAKE a detective
the violins coming in again
is it really a crime if you get to live your life to the fullest :((((
YOU GET TO LIVE ON :(((((
the i love u i know :(((((((
ur not as cool as u think u are! :(
THE HARMONIES :(
IF I CAN FINALLY BE COOL :((((
i will know that you have to do it :(((
joey's lower register for this last little if i loved u chorus :(((
loved u more than the stars above :(((((( (how many sad faces can i use)
the pause before could've :((((
i cant even say anything more abt this one it makes me too sad
ok yes i can the i never wanted you anyway breaks my heart
BEST OF YOU
the guitar
the needy beast esque pronounciation of words idk how else to say it i just love it
LIKE EYE DEW
we hurted!
the harmonies on town and down
IM THE BEST OF YEW!
this song is just so fun
it's like you knew me b4 u knew me! that whole bit! i love it!
THE AHS IN THE BACK OF THE SECOND BIT OF THE SECOND VERSE
ABSCONDED BELOVED
FOREVER!
WE'RE GONNA RUN AROUND 2NITE!
I BELIEVE IN YEWWWW
never gonna fall!
the echoey verse in the back at the end Auuu so good
the ending note harmony
DIRTY DUDES MUST DIE
the souls of the pervs make me strong
her laugh
I LOVE ANGELA'S VOICE
everything she sings here sounds so incredible
ARE U HARD BC UR STRESSED
what????
i just love this reprise its so so good
i cant point out specific parts bc its just all incredible
OF THE NERDS U MINIMIIIIIIIZED!!!! her RIFF!
THE LAUGH
when the ensemble comes in heart eyes
WHO WILL PRAY 4 U WHEN UR BODY'S GONE THIS IS THE CONSEQUENCE FOR WHAT YOUVE DOOOOONE
DARKNESS WILL SPARE MY SOUL
run pervs RUN
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there’s this boy I like (in the process of rizzing up) and I’ve learnt to put my hair slightly in front of my face when I see him bc he always tucks it behind my ears and it’s so cute. SO I think an equivalent with Matty would be so cute. Either the same thing. Or maybe HE deliberately does something to initiate contact. Like maybe flatmate Matty never ties his tie right when he’s going somewhere fancy, so you have to sort it out. And early days of D Word Matty, he often drops something right by your desk so he has to pick it up, and hope that the delay triggers conversation between you. You show Matty your new nails when you get them done, in the hopes he takes your hand in his to examine them. Do u have any more ideas like this? I just think it’s such a cute/innocent concept
OH this is adorable, best of luck with the rizzing up! i love this pavlovian shit, honestly - my personal thing is new, and it's calling my ????ship darlin' or my darlin out of the blue when i thank him for something. he thinks i can't see him smiling and blushing a little bit, but he's not that slick. ANYWAY. the tie thing for flatmate, absolutely - he's always got some item of clothing slightly askew for you to fix before he leaves the flat or goes onstage or whatever. for you, it's getting him to zip up your dresses at the back (someone has requested a whole blurb about this that i'm going to get to soon!), and getting him to fasten necklaces for you right after you've put your perfume on, so every time he smells it wafting around the flat he thinks of your bare neck and how much he wants to kiss it (like i said the other day, you're an idiot who thinks fallingforyou isn't about you lol). for d word, i think the dropping things next to your desk, yeah, but also given the fact your desk is right next to jamie's office i think matty would linger right by you before and after he's in meetings with the boss, pretending to check his phone and suddenly saying something or laughing loudly "in reaction" to it then being like "sorry if i startled you, sweetheart. how are you, anyway?" and starting a convo. and sometimes he'll deliberately claim he thought the meeting started half an hour earlier than it really did, just so he can be like "might go and get a coffee while i wait, want me to bring you one?" or literally just sit on the edge of your desk chatting to you; he doesn't do it so much that you get suspicious, but he's definitely done it a fair few times. once your little book club starts, you always make sure to have a copy of your latest novel/essay collection/literary magazine on your desk, in the hope that he'll pick it up and talk to you about it - maybe you even take inspo from legally blonde and spritz your perfume over them, so that whenever matty takes them home to read he thinks about you (even more than he normally does). the nails thing could apply to any of them, but i think it's cute for birthday party - you get into the habit of showing him your nails immediately whenever you run into him, because one of the first times you met him he was fascinated by them and held your hands the whole time you spoke about them and even when the conversation moved elsewhere. you thought it was so sweet, and that was before you properly had a crush on him; when you realise that you do, the aim is to get him to hold them distractedly again every time you see him, and you've been successful quite a few times. i think his equivalent is the same as mine, showering you in pet names to make you swoon. and by god, he's good at it lmao <3
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been thinking of ghostbur a lot then your fic sent me into a rabbit hole
the sheer idea of living with two ghosts in a home is so warming, in a way of that they’re comfortable with you and you’re comfortable with them. imagine how long it has been since someone welcomed them just as they did, but everyone left the next day; so it was almost alien when reader moved in.
thrilling, really. with the small bookshelf in one of your rooms, tommy idly knocks on your door and shuffled in holding a book. just a small, “can you read this for me?” because it has been so long since he had read a book.
or wilbur watching you from the top floor through a window, a frown gracing his lips because he wants to help you garden. he wants to touch the dirt, feel the sun against his face again. so when your hands cup his jaw, he becomes stunned for a moment just because you remind him of the sun.
he envies your friends and anyone who gets to interact with you outside; becoming rather sour whenever you tell him someone is picking you up. idk if you ever watched steven universe but i feel like both boys would have something similar to blue diamond.
if one starts crying, you feel your eyes become glossy and tears start falling. you could feel yourself become heavy, as if the whole world came crashing down.
imagine making them new foods that they never had back in their time. the curious glint in their eyes when watching you move around the kitchen, and soon, one plate turned into three.
wilbur cleaning the house when you’re not home because the first time you came back exhausted and he watched you tiredly clean; his heart shattered. since then, he made it a mission to clean while you’re own. the smile on your face is always worth it. he’s sad that he cannot go with you on your adventures but knowing you’re not moving anytime soon is enough.
Brb- sobbing-
They’re so thrilled when you don’t run out of the house, screaming bloody murder. Like- your actually talking to them and giving them a chance. Hell- that’s more than enough.
Every night before tommy sleeps (yes ghost can sleep in this au bc I feel bad-), he’s always asking you to read him a story before he goes to bed. It’s comforting. He was super young when he passed too, so its kinda like he gets to finish his childhood.
ALSO YOU DID NOT AHVE TO DO THIS TO ME- you remind him of the sun?! Holy-
Like- he’ll watch you and just kinda bang his head on the window bc of how pissed he is and you hear this and just look up at him to see him just looking so sad and ugh! It’s so upsetting to you! And when your try your best to bring the sun to him (literally lights-), he’s like “I didn’t need all of this when I have you darling.” WEAK IN THE KNEES-
And Wilbur knew how to drive too so he’s like “oh I can drive y- nevermind.” And he’s just- again. Mad. Upset. At everything. At how he’s dead. At how he can’t go out with you. It’s not fair. It never will be. And you sense this and it’s just- heartbreaking. So you cancel your plans for the day and stay home with him and Tom. Doing anything and everything. Want cookies? Done! Want to try take out for the first time in 20 years? On it! Literally anything. (Also ye: he does-)
Bro- imagine Tom starts crying about like- anything .realizing he won’t get to see his friends anymore- let alone meet anyone knew. He won’t get to go to the movie theaters anymore. Won’t get to go to fairs and run around. It hurts. And then Wilbur joins in and it’s- ugh! It hurts so much. Like you just want to help them be free. But you can’t .
I bet your ass they’d act like it’s good but the spit it out once your not looking. You know they did- but you don’t care. They barely had anything good at that time anyways- (Tom likes to disagree)
Wilbur is a meat freak I feel like. And he knows what it’s like to have a messy house and hate it- so he helps you. He cleans during the day so at night when you come home, you can rest your feet on his lap and just watch a movie with him. He may massage them- maybe not. Depends on what you want and what his mood is
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i wish you would write a fic where about an idea you have that you’ve been meaning to start but haven’t gotten around to yet ✨
ok normally i'm not a fan of canon divergent aus where the the plot more or less follows canon, but suspend your disbelief w me: "harrow nova" au where harrow sacrifices herself for gideon during the fight with cytherea, forcing gideon to become a lyctor.
gideon, who in every timeline is predisposed to running away, compartmentalizes from the eighthfold word like harrow did in canon, causing gideon to forget her; therefore her eye color does not change. (the "running away" is metaphorical in this au)
so gideon, newly the first, shows up on the emperor's flagship with her mother's red hair and her father's gold eyes and her cavalier's freshly preserved soul in the back of her brain. also, ianthe is there.
surely no problems will come of this!!!
anyways i think it would be an interesting combination of john trying very hard to keep the old lyctors away from the new ones for as long as possible + the tower princes kiriona gaia and ianthe naberius, speedrun edition.
would be set primarily on the erebos instead of the mithraeum, bc again, john is trying to buy time. for one thing he needs to figure out what the hell is going on, is this a fluke, a coincidence, how was gideon born, etc... then once he puts those puzzle pieces together, he needs to figure out which of friends betrayed him and what he wants to do about it.
is he angry enough at the betrayal to kill bc of it? does he want to play the long game, since there are still rbs out there and he needs all hands on deck to take care of them???
for me the way i see it, john didn't kill mercymorn until she went after him first. canonically he was willing to give augustine a second chance. so i think in this au he'd convince himself that he could get them to come around… but all the better if he never has to: say, if gideon's eyes weren't gold, then he would have waaay more time to workshop his plans.
in short: he tries MUCH harder to get gideon to eat harrow in this au.
since i don't think the tomb has been opened in this au, bc why would it have been, the rb would be a little slower to arrive (varun is chasing alecto.) so i think the primary "antagonist" of the "book" becomes blood of eden, who recently killed 18k+ cohort soldiers.
would be vvv tasty considering gideon looks just like their dead commander, and also corona is working for them, which ianthe isn't going to love!!!
and all the while john is making static noises into the phone whenever mercymorn calls, he's playing dad with his new daughter like he tried to do with harrow only this time that's actually his kid,
and actually you know what i think wake's haunting gideon like she did w harrow in this au. this is me pushing my other hc into the story again: in canon wake haunted gideon her whole childhood, until gideon picked up her sword and wake's revenant possessed it instead. if gideon's a necromancer in this au, she never touched that sword, so her mother's been with her this whole time. here's how the caanan house subplot can still win
anyways good au. would love to write it someday
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some caitlyn hcs. brain full of she
i have def mentioned this before but i like to hc her as trans sometimes just because :)
and her parents helped pick her name! caitlyn wasn't one of the ones they suggested but they were pleased with it anyway and they've always been very supportive as is normal for the cities (canon no homophobia/transphobia FUCK YES)
had a week or so where she was going by a new name every day bc she hadn't found the right one yet ("hannah, could you-" "i'm not hannah, i'm trying abigail today"). it was a nightmare to remember but by the time she settled on it her parents felt it was worth it because she was so happy
again not an uncommon one but she's autistic!!
i'm projecting but she did a lot of people watching growing up bc she was sure she could figure out how to make people like her if she just studied others hard enough. it did not work unfortunately
she likes animals :) is not afraid of bugs either! she just likes them all pretty much. probably terrorized her poor mother bringing neat-looking centipedes into the house to show her
either had or has at least one dog i KNOW it. even if the dog wasn't hers, technically, it was her best buddy
did music as a kid but was never much of a musician
sometimes she still sings tho, mostly to the radio (canon pop music fan)
was on debate team in middle school. was exactly as determined about it as she is about everything else. caitlyn did not join debate to make friends she came here to Win
people assume she's so neat and organized and all bc of the everything about her but she so isn't, her notes are a disaster of a system only she understands. why are there multiple overlapping piles of papers on your desk. she doesn't get stains on things, but that's really her only rule
def read those kid detective books growing up
i love the hc of her actually being a Competent Lesbian i really do but i also like the idea of her just being a very charming very pretty nerd. she's not going to deliver a perfect pickup line but would you like to hear an in-depth explanation of methods of transport and be treated with genuine kindness (also known as the Oh I Can't Not Fuck Her effect)
snuck girls in through her window, but only snuck out once in her teen years because the guilt was eating her alive
(she did it more as an adult- it was more about her parents not knowing where she was if she was in danger, so by the time she could handle herself she was Gone whenever she wanted to be lmao)
jayce wasn't the first time her parents decided she couldn't be friends with someone anymore, but it was one of the last
after she meets vi she becomes fascinated by the undercity bc she just knows so little about it! she just wants to know everything (this is basically canon but You Know)
has always been very good at being a little rebellious, mostly because she's very smart and she knows that people assume that girls like her are well-behaved
coffee drinker i'll die on this hill. tea is for relaxation coffee is for work and pulling yet another all nighter no its not too late she can stay up a little longer its FINE she has things to DO
super awkward around children younger than their teen years like. what is she supposed to talk to them about. hextech? is that what kids are into nowadays is it hextech
very rarely, when cassandra has free time, the kirammans play board games as a family :) certain games are banned because caitlyn and/or her mother got too competitive and ruined family game night
(they eventually add vi to family game night as well and it becomes much less stressful for tobias. he no longer has to calm both of them down/get accused of taking sides. he's very thankful for this)
after s1... i genuinely think she could wind up a bit afraid of jinx. not in a sense where she's going to draw back from finding her, but if jinx goes to her gun/tries to smack her, caitlyn's going to flinch hard
by "i'm a misfit too", i kind of interpret that not so much as her never having friends, but more so like... never feeling close to them? she's had friends, probably has some now, but they're not close. if it came down between her and something else, she knows she's never been anyone's first choice
a Winter Enjoyer. gets cold easily tho/runs cold in general
#levi.txt#arcane#caitlyn kiramman#as per usual add on if youve got anything!!#all i do is make hc posts actually. sorry <3
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▸ anonymous ⟶ ❛ [ mulberry ] what tips would you give someone with writer's block? / [ coral ] give a shoutout to one of your favorite blogs. ❜ ╱ ( colorful interview , accepting . )
ha! you are probably not going to like this answer at all, but the best advice i have for someone with writer's block is to keep writing. that's honestly what i do, just content myself with writing poorly for a while until it becomes good again.
some quotes from a book on writing i'm currently reading that speak to me personally and are more like preaching at the choir than anything: "Simply put, the key to being a better writer is to write. […] Write like crap if you have to. But write every day. […] Don't write a lot. Just write often. […] Spending five hours on a Saturday writing isn't nearly as valuable as spending 30 minutes a day every day of the week."
i'm An Insane Person who treats writing much more like a discipline than an art. rp is not a job, that's true, but if you only write when ~the stars & muse align perfectly~ and you ~feel up to it~, you're going to find yourself in those slumps easily and often. that's my opinion on it, anyway.
for example, i've found that i rarely have the motivation to answer ooc asks like this one, and it results in these asks sitting in my inbox for long periods of time. so i've started to discipline myself and say, "ok 6-6:30pm every day is my Miscellaneous Writing time, where i force myself to write something that's not an rp reply for once." that's why you're finally seeing an answer to this ask. it's not bc i ~magically found the motivation~; it's bc i closed down all my other programs at 6pm and started writing it.
also, bc rp isn't a job, if you have a block with your rp replies in particular, consider dropping some stuff! if you just really really can't come up with an answer to a thread, there's no harm in pitching it in the bin, which is honestly something i need to get better at doing.
also from the book i'm reading, called everybody writes: your go-to guide to creating ridiculously good content, which is more about marketing but which i am reading to pick and choose stuff to apply to my own creative process… another suggestion i've seen is to put some distance between yourself and your work. spend an hour showering, cleaning, making food, w/e. whatever you need to do to clear your mind out a li'l bit. and then come back to it. "An hour with a clear mind is worth five hours of fog." and i've found that advice does help me, too. today, i didn't feel much up to writing, so i got up, did my laundry, and then came back to my word document and immediately spat out 500 words, which was much more productive than staring at my screen for 4 hours, slowly dribbling out a sentence at a time.
/////
aughdkgjks i'm gonna shout out multi! @troublewithvampires / @gas-stxtion / @bleedingovereden
they're a really good friend of mine, and i'm glad i got to meet them! they're really good at plotting, and they have a lot of interesting muses / stories that they put a lot of effort into, and i don't think they have enough followers tbh! our muse dynamics are never a miss, and they've got such a colorful cast that there's a little something there for everybody, and i think it's kind of a shame that so much of the rpc is sleeping on them
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명필이야 나 아니다
i have poem books. bcs i love reading it. but it doesnt mean i understand it. in fact, i did not, at all, understand anything to be honest. i once thought my mind is deep but at this point, through so many attempts of reading, understanding, even creating, i found out that my mind is very on the surface level.
but interestingly, i tend to love people who think deep and i tried to be like them. it somehow frustrates me that I cant be like them.
i thought, how can a person have so many things to say? have so many expressions or ways to say things? how do they know all these words?
while i am so so simple in expressing. no matter how much i added bombastic creative wonderful vocabs into my brain dictionary, i will end up using the most boring common vocabs ever. nice, pretty, wonderful, ugh. i am always stuck at picking words. my sentences are not even coherent to begin with.
mind you that my mind is everywhere. i think about everything. i have many ideas. but i cant express it. im afraid that i’ll be called “tin kosong”. have thoughts, but didnt act on it? (does it make sense) so….
i kinda dont like that about myself. i dont know if this is a good thing or not. i dont know if this is about my character thats very fast paced that I cant think well? do i need to slow down? i think i should. i tried though. or is it bcs im an introvert?
i once entered a “competition” i mean, like an online contest to continue a story from a single line they gave. you know what i mean? like, they have a line, and i need to complete it. i really wanted to win so i tried soooo hard i can feel my brain was not working. my imagination is there but i cant express it. it was so so frustrating. let alone writing it beautifully? so i cheated, i asked chatgpt to prettify my lines hahaha. just for one entry okay. i did my entries and the others, i didnt ask chatgpt for it. and i think i did quite well. but ofcourse i didnt win.
anyway.
this is why, i like to read. every time i come across a line the author wrote thats beautiful or unique, or funny (the sentence), i’ll underline because i want to look back at it again and copy and use it somewhere in my life. i want to sound cool. haha.
oh i am so happy everytime i got to do it.
maybe i just need to read more. and its gonna take long is it? but i want to be good like right now, fast, is there any other way? zzz
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22, 30 and 51 for the otp game im GREEDY!! pls !!
ahh hello dear!! tysm for the wonderful asks you have asked SUCH crucial urgent questions i only wish i had time to write an essay for EACH of them but!! we will try our BEST to be brief here okurrr <333
22. what reminds each of their partner?
what reminds s of r: books & especially old books, petrichor i.e. the smell of earth after a hard rain, patched corduroy, muggle boys on bicycles, welsh accents (obvs!), worn out-of-tune pianos, chocolate & bergamot, the glint of secret mischief he sometimes spots in other people's eyes (especially, i think, lily's), david bowie, and always, inevitably, at any phase, the moon
what reminds r of s: soft leather (obvs!) & especially those fancy leather dog collars, cigarette smoke, motorbikes & the smell of petrol, poorly knotted ties, very old silver, michelangelo's david, sudden harsh/barking laughter, lightning & thunderstorms, the stooges, and always, again, inevitably, the stars
30. your otp gets to pick out each other’s outfits; what is each wearing?
ajlkadf omg i am living for this question all right here we go!!
sirius picking remus's outfit: ok s obviously never gets the chance to select clothes for the ornery ornery moony so he is thrilled for this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity he is going ALL OUT. r is wearing thick dark eyeliner, golden shimmer glitter on his cheeks and eyelids, probs a black or metallic golden lip as well. and the clothes!! practically drag, actually, you know what, not even practically, just straight-up drag. fishnets, leather skirt, some sort of weird barely existent black mesh top, punk-looking jewelry (spiked collar or some shit etc), aaaaand ... sirius's docs bc he outright refused the stilettos! (bad knees yknow.) r is DEEPLY deeply deeply uncomfortable, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring etc, but too bad this is s's one big chance to realize the DREAM and he’s going for it hard.
remus picking sirius's outfit: all right very different situation here, r would refuse the challenge and simply say that he has no interest in selecting his partner's clothing bc s is an adult and fully capable of dressing himself. but if we held a gun to his head and forced him to pick s's cloth let’s be real he’d pick what sirius always wears anyways, not out of laziness but bc in spite of any teasing or purported disdain he secretly loves what s usually wears and think s looks so fuckin hot all the time. so ether way we should honestly just expect to see s in his usual sirius black uniform of docs, jeans, t-shirt, leather jacket, gay earring, dog collar, etc etc.
51. what’s a non verbal way they say I love you?
ohmygoshhh this question! could spend pages and pages answering this question. esp because i see both of them as mainly saying “i love you” non-verbally, prone to just leaving the words implied nine times out of ten (or more). so!
r saying “i love you” to s: in school, finishing the boring parts of his homework for him (!) & embarking on various ill-advised michiefs just to make s laugh; later, quietly organizing his records, clothes, books, toiletries, etc etc; cooking for s (even if let’s be honest he’s not very good at it); diligently writing/responding to letters whenever they’re separated; generally letting s pick what film they’ll watch or record they’ll listen to etc in spite of their taste often being drastically different (and r being quite certain that his is superior); taking padfoot for walks; sharing the crossword; dry but actually gentle teasing; leaving little notes around the flat that basically say nothing (went for eggs—tea in kitchen—back in twenty—etc.) but the love is traced in every letter
s saying “i love you” to r: aside from padfoot (!!) - learning healing spells & bringing r tea/chocolate/carry out etc. after moons; constantly bringing home silly little trinkets he sees while out & about as presents for r even tho r says over and over that he doesn’t need anything and to stop bringing him stuff (never); spending truly stupid amounts of money on r’s birthday and xmas gifts even though r says over and over that he doesn’t need fancy things and not to waste his damn inheritance (“it’s not a waste if you like it, moony!”), secretly buying & pretending to have an interest in records/films/books that he actually has no interest in whatsoever so that remus can “borrow” and enjoy them whenever he wants; affectionate teasing; going on walks as padfoot; sharing the crossword; saving every little note remus leaves for him, no matter how trivial or banal, bc he feels the love in every letter
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The Furies of Calderon
Why they wanted me to read it: It’s the start of a series with lots of fun political intrigue and creative use of elemental powers.
I will give you the elemental powers bit! I will give it to you all day long, it is a very neat magic system, and considering that apparently Butcher wrote it after being given the prompt “lost roman legion” and “pokemon” I think developing pokemon into a fury-based magic system was very cool indeed. Loved it. Lived for it.
The political intrigue...I’ll have to take your word for it. In this first book, at least, it feels like a very stock “traitor in the kingdom” type story.
As always, submitter, if you have specific questions, send them to me!
Sadly, the book very much did not work for me.
I really liked Jim Butcher’s Dresden Files, to a point, about, oh, book six or seven? Anyway, what I loved about it was the idea of wizard powers existing and being real but also Harry has to pay fucking rent and buy milk. I like that, as an idea. I have no idea if I would still like it today I read them back in college when I wanted something to read that was stupidish and I have no idea if they would hold up even as popcorn reads. I refuse to sully the memory by rereading.
ANYWAY, so this is by the same guy and Oy and also Gevalt.
My friend called this sort of book a “transit book” which is a book you can read on the bus because you can pick it up and put it down within ten minutes, no big deal. And that feels very fair to me. It’s not even HORRIBLE or anything, mostly. it’s just pretty shallow. Every time I picked it up, I was like, “sure, why not, this may as well happen” and also like, ‘Oh hey quick question, I’m confused: Is Kord evil? Could you maybe like, clarify that situation? Seems unclear.” This was basically not YA because Butcher wanted to heavily imply rape as a torture tool. It certainly is not YA because of any complexity of character* or challenging prose.
What I liked:
We don’t overcomplicate the magic system! Butcher is smart enough to MOSTLY shut up about it. “A fury bonds with them when they’re about fifteen, they have some sort of elemental power that appears vaguely like an animal, moving on” BLESS YOU SIR. And because we don’t overcomplicate it and we don’t go too far into it, there was no point at which I was like, ‘Okay this beggars belief” I was there the whole time. Loved the limits placed on it even if a few of them confused me. Loved that some of them have effects on human feelings, and emotions, and reading people, and I thought it was 98% really really well carried out, which is more than a lot of magic in ficiton.
The Marat in general. I love the idea of the different tribes, and the way that a whelp can go between the tribes when they mature, and also the idea of calling someone who hasn’t yet become an adult a whelp because who the actual fuck cares about the difference between the sexes until they’re adults? I think it steers a LITTLE to the “if i make them blonde, it’s not savage stereotyping” which I think probably works with most people to be frank, I was just a little like “hm” and not even in a “I SAW JIM BUTCHER AT THE DEVIL’S SACRAMENT” just more “rein this in a touch, just a touch” because mostly I think they’re a really interesting people but some of the ‘savagery” really needs to be dialed back when you have so many other stereotypes at play. Again, and, oh my god do I need you to read this, this is not me going, “THIS IS BAD BC STEREOTYPE CANCEL THIS BOOK” this me going, “this could have been done more thoughtfully rather than slapping blonde hair on them so everyone knows they’re white and figuring that’ll do it” Anyway, that out of the way I thought the Marat were a genuinely interesting people with some good fucking sense once you trim a little bit of the fat. A favored part of the book.
The combat writing is REALLY good. The fight writing is REALLY good. And that’s not easy! I know that for a fact! i was very impressed by the quality of particularly the swordfighting writing.
I liked the very end where Tavi was off gathering the sheep he promised. Showed actual and real character.
What DIDN’T work for me:
We have a very Stephen King level “strong female character” thing going on. This doesn’t at all remotely surprise me given that I have in fact read The Dresden Files and even back in the day, that’s a criticism I would have given TDF. I KNOW he wants to write strong female characters, I GET that from him, and i feel for him, but whatever he thinks he’s doing, he ain’t doing it. I wanted to like Amara so much more than I did, but she seemed like such a slapped on bundle of ideas and projections than she did a character. I may not care much for Tavi’s whole ‘magical underdog’ thing, but he feels like a fully realized human character to me in a way Amara doesn’t. Amara is Clever and Sensual and Strong and Brave but to me it just never comes together into making her a human. It’s, and this is with all the female characters, very These Woman Are Strong and Smart But Not So Strong and Smart That They Don’t Need a Man.
WOOF DO I HATE THE AMARA AND BERNARD THING HOLY FUCK I DID NOT SEE IT COMING. She’s a nubile young, what, early twentysomething? Since she’s supposedly graduating from what appears to be a college type training program? And he’s in his forties, given the ages of what his kids would be, etc? Not a great look, Jim! Not a great look. Did not love. Did not want.
I was so disappointed with the way that Tavi got to school Kitai, school a whole people who have lived among this danger and yet apparently not a single one of them has had the fire thought or idea. It’s that “magical underdog” thing I was talking about that I am just not into at all and am pretty much over. I called that whole “You’re a GIRL” thing way before it happened.
Of course he’s going to marry Kitai and of course her father is fine with this even though Tavi is a fucking ALERAN and whatever whatever kill me just let a man and a woman interact please.
The Kord thing is SO SO HEAVYHANDED. I already hate the guy, you can let it go. You don’t need to go into all this very weird and fucked up shit to make me hate him and be fine with him dying. Kord is the big bad of this book. He’s very mustache twirling. I’m annoyed that sexual violence has to be such a part of this, because it didn’t need to be. I didn’t need this character to be like this.
I find the whole Fade thing very clunky and weird. My opposition isn’t that I saw it coming--the way is laid for us to figure out long before the reveal--but that when I sit and think of it I can’t think of a good reason for it and also SERIOUSLY, no one has noticed in the what, fifteen or more years? That fade has been there? Do we believe Isana and Bernard really lack that kind of observation, not to know who he is, but to know that he’s not so simple as everyone thinks? In a better book, I might give this a handwavey pass, but when sins pile up they make a wall, you know.
Anyway by the time we got to the end I was exhausted with this fucking neverending battle, and it didn’t matter how good the combat writing was, it was pages and pages and pages of this battle with a forgone conclusion and I was so much just PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET THIS BOOK END.
In all, I found this book...boring. I found it to be a very by the numbers fantasy book with an unlikely hero. King in trouble from a traitor within. Fighting the savage people. Like, this is all fine if you are a person who likes fantasy as a genre, and that is NOT me trashing people who like fantasy as a genre, that’s me making an observation. I like horror, as a genre. A very by the numbers haunted house/inscribed latin/demons in the cellar/electricity going out book is great for me. Love it. But if someone doesn’t love horror, they’re bored, and I get it. I don’t dislike fantasy but I also don’t actively like it, so it has to really do something as a narrative for me. I don’t feel this does.
*Odiana is the closest I’ll give to having a character be complex. I did like her, and I will give Butcher the credit of having her be a horrible little person who is capable of sometimes doing a good thing simply so she won’t be in bondage to another. Love it. If she were a little smarter I’d say she has Michiru vibes. I think she might have been my favorite character. “I wasn’t hurting him. I was killing him. There’s a difference. It wasn’t anything personal.” Amazing.
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if you get this, answer with 3 random facts about yourself and send it to the last 7 blogs in your notifications, anonymously or not! Let's get to know the person behind the blog
Ough okay!!!!
Uhhh
1) I have a birthmark on the back of my right leg, it's lighter than everywhere else
2) I'm allergic to apricots!!! Apricot marmalade (or whatever it is. It's like a jam with many orange fruits in it but it's mostly Apricot and Oranges and I eat oranges all the time. Apricots are the only fruit included in the marmalade/jam that I don't eat much of) makes my throat and mouth itchy, which is too bad bc I think it's Delicious. At least I'm still good to eat peaches and nectarines!!! But not Apricots, weirdly enough. My aunt is allergic to peaches, so it Tracks.
3) I LOVE ZOMBIES SOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!! The very first horror movie I ever saw was Resident Evil, and I blame it for my current love of zombies to this day. The way my mom has always recalled it to me, I was 4 years old and had seen my parents set up the PS4 to watch movies a few times and decided to try it out myself, and Resident Evil was in the PlayStation from the night before (the adults must've been watching it while I was sleeping) and I sat down and watched it, and then watched it again and again afterwards because I thought Alice was the coolest (most beautiful) woman I'd ever seen, and the Zombies were all super cool too. I was especially fond of the Lickers (the things with the long tongues) and I used to imagine taking one for walkies and scratching it's brain-head-thing like it was a dog. When I was eventually caught my mom was Very Upset but impressed that I'd figured it out all on my own and that I had it all figured out for like a week without anyone noticing, but the very first time I had a zombie themed nightmare Resident Evil was put on the High Up Adult Shelf never to be seen again until I hit double digits. Funny enough, a little while later I was watching my dad play Fallout 3 and when he walked into a bar and started talking to a Zombie Bartender I decided he was the most handsome man I'd ever seen and became Smitten with him. Come to find out, he was a Ghoul (not actually a Zombie) named Gob and he's still one of my most cherished favorite characters of all time. On top of that, when I was like 10 I could quote all of Zombieland word for word, for each and every character, and without even looking up from what I was doing list which zombies were in a scene. My Uncle found it kinda creepy the first time he saw me do it until eventually it became a game to see how long I could quote perfectly without messing up. I was entirely normal and not at all weird or obsessed with Warm Bodies (which absolutely didn't tap into my crush on Gob and my obsession with Romeo and Juliet, which I absolutely didn't read cover to cover in elementary school. /s. The school librarian wouldn't let me take the book I'd wanted home with me because it was Too Advanced so I picked a children's book out of spite, and once I was done reading it I wanted to read some more but had picked a book too far below my reading level, spotted a book abt the same size as the book I'd wanted at school on my grandma's bookshelf, saw the Ye Olde English, and decided I was gonna go for a challenge anyways bc Hecc You I Don't Do What You Tell Me. I didn't understand all of the jokes so I looked them up on the public library's computer later that week and once the stuff I didn't understand was Understood it became a personal favorite. I was insufferable abt it in English Class once I hit Highschool.)
Wow that was long!!! But zombies are super cool; as a metaphor, as a monster, as a marketing ploy, just. Zombies.
#bug barks#thank you for giving me an excuse to be weird on the internet#I super appreciate it /genuine
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Book Review : One Last Stop, by Casey McQuiston
4/5 stars
(light spoilers)
Alright so this was delightful from start to finish. The concept, first of all, was great - loner college student with a knack for investigation, August, falls in love with badass butch amnesiac from the 70s who is stuck out of time in the New York subway, Jane ; awesome. I find subways fascinating, full of history and spooky vibes and potential encounters and dreary routine and urban poetry (I guess this feeds into my obsession with underground places lmao) and the story made full use of the setting. Plus something about the smut scene in an empty metro carriage at 3 am over the Manhattan Bridge was like !!! ok unrealistic but blablabla women being scared away from public spaces and queer ppl being assaulted in the metro etc etc. beautiful. healing.
the dialogue is funny, the two main characters are interesting and likeable and their chemistry has a lot of electric zing and realness to it. sweet but not desexualized or trying too hard to be 'wholesome'. something about their dynamic of two characters who have drifted between places and have never been able to really put down roots due to complicated family history, finding an anchor in each other (on a moving train no less!) really worked for me. plus points for making the love interest a beautiful, desirable, butch character (and Chinese American as well) bc i feel there is so not enough of those. plus it's nice to have a bi character that's an awkward virgin instead of a Casanova, that's also stereotype breaking. honestly good bi rep.
i also really liked the found family of quirky roommates. overall it's a pretty classic stories of early-twenties coming of age, becoming an adult, learning to let people in, putting down roots, daring to become yourself fully, letting go of your past, etc - but done very well. liked all the nods to queer history as well, how entangled it is with city life, and i loved all the 'missed connections' notes of how Jane made an impression on people throughout the years.
unpopular opinion but i was never the biggest fan of Red White and Royal Blue, found it fun but too tropey, kinda bland, and honestly overrated. (and the Disneyfication of US politics really grating. also i just read too many presidential AU fics that were like. better.) my fave part of it was the character of Nora, the foul mouthed witty friend, and the author went with that sort of tone here, which i think she does very well, plus overall it feels like a more original and fully realized story. (which, again, is just my opinion, but it's again frustrating how little wlw stories get attention compared to mlm ones, etc.) so she's kind of won me over with this one, i might pick up 'I kissed Shara Wheeler' at some point.
a few quibbles that kept it from being an all time fave : i do still find her writing a bit, hm, immature in places, not as evocative as it could be. things do get tied up almost a little too neatly, and the love interest's radical politics feel a bit more like an aesthetic gimmick but the book has a big subplot about saving a landmark diner from gentrification so i'll give that a pass. Regarding August, i am also kind of annoyed that every single shitty parents storyline ends up with 'but they tried their best and we're more alike than we know and we reconcile because family!:!!!' like it would be nice to have characters' happy ending be them enforcing their boundaries and wanting distance for once. but maybe that's not fluffy romance territory idk. Also, the cover is - if not awful, nice colors - too close to boring Canva corporate style, i hate this trend, this could have been so much cooler honestly !!! but none of those things are a big deal.
anyway !! i enjoyed it a lot and as a light, funny romantic beach read it was perfect. definitely goes on my list of fave sapphic romances.
#one last stop#casey mcquiston#book reviews#lgbt fiction#bi representation#ellie reads books#wlw books
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