Tumgik
#anyway my anxiety is getting the best of me rn
baishouqijia · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
i am desperately trying to be more active but i'm experiencing mental burnout. just want to say thank you for the interactions even when i'm only checking in here now and again - i'll respond when i'm feeling better! <3
#nothing really happened - work and the house just got on top of me.#for context i was promoted to a management position in october and i hit my stride so i have a lot of responsibilities and i'm hhh.#having to play catch up in terms of skillset. i'm good at my job but i'm not the best - therefore ? i must keep pushing :y#as for home... Man (horse.jpg)#we bought a house a year ago. i envy people who renovate days after moving in. we're a year in and i'm only just redoing the kitchen floor#after a leak that happened in JUNE 2022. it's expensive as fuck and takes so much time.#i'm so fortunate to be able to afford a house but like. i won't lie. it's really hard having to be responsible for everything that goes#wrong with it. my kitchen has been subfloor for months. we destroyed our kitchen island trying to make room for the floor to be done#so we're down storage and stuff is just piling up. eh i know this is like. first world problem and really not a big deal.#but when your house is in disrepair because you don't have the money to fix it quickly or time to do it yourself. shit's hard.#anyway this is a rant. don't want a wrench or a tissue- just wanna get it out.#[puts on pantalone hat] i have money anxiety too#like i earn the most i've ever earned. i won't really get much higher than this atm. i'm due a bonus and i can cash out my shares#but fixing up the house is so expensive. i'm worried i'm gonna lose it all somehow. idfk why. when things are going well i worry i'm gonna#lose it all somehow. growing up poor does a number on your resource guarding. if i spend a penny I Will Lose It All.#' dima why do you like pantalone so much ' HE JUST LIKE ME FRRRR#sry this is a ramble . i treat tumblr tags like my diary but i hope you enjoyed the read xoxox#anyways! point is! i'm alive! i'm itching to come back but i dont have the mental space for fun rn.#can't have fun until i feel safe enough to have fun if that makes sense.#aight byeee
23 notes · View notes
kimtaegis · 10 months
Text
hate to say it but july kinda sucked
#please let me whine and list all the things that have troubled me this month#first off having to get serious about my master thesis and everything taking so much longer than I want it to (the anxiety. wow)#and mentally preparing to tackle two jobs AND finishing the thesis all at once soon (how......am I gonna do that)#well then ofc my car breaking down and having to spend my last savings on a new one#generally having to spend a shit load of money. all my money. gone within 2 months#wanting to have a big birthday party so badly only for it to get so stressful and Too Much for my introverted perfectionist ass#that I was the first and only one to feel (physically and mentally) sick about four hours in and had to leave my guests on their own#the usual old struggles flaring up again (as in too high expectations towards everything and everyone and myself that leave me disappointed#and on a more irrelevant note lmao: being one of the few people who doesn’t seem to have enjoyed barbenheimer that much?#same for jk’s solo and everything around it it's just not really for me#and thus feeling a little distanced from the fandom and from creating lately...I'll try again this weekend though I'll try#and last but not least my skin is being SO bad again rn that I just want to rip it off my whole body!!!!!!!#yeah! not at all how I wanted july to go! anyways august in a few days let’s move on and hope for the best#SORRY for being negative on here again. there were also nice things. like awi and al and all my other friends.#and birthday gifts and messages. <33
8 notes · View notes
diabeticgirl4 · 1 year
Text
Curious about those prof diagnosed w adhd (esp as an adult) if they got any sort of action plan/ medication/ etc. Like "yeah you are Officially Adhd, here's something to help you manage that" type thing bc uhh I sure didn't lmao
3 notes · View notes
strwbrymlkshake · 1 year
Text
been getting a lot more into Killing lately
#mine#vent post again hello. for the love of god#🎸#anyways um uhh uhhah uhagh i feel like violence is more apparent in my life#though it could def be due to the violent outburst i had the other day. just the aftermath of it ig#i have been feeling depressed and like i cant control my own life bc things are being withheld from me#hrgngh :( as usual. nothing is changing. i have to wait like this for a long ass time before it does.#oh right the point of this post: i keep feeling like my bf is mad at me even though there is literally nothing to signify that#he did not even say he was mad at me so why is my anxiety thru the roof HUH. well probably trauma#he said he would love me no matter what! but im still so worrieedddd :< i guess it wasnt a big thing to be mad about anyways so#i dont understand why he WOULD be mad about it. so unless he says he is mad/upset then he ISNT but my brain does not get this#there is NO reason for me not to trust him#also i have moved on from the 'why doesnt he message me first in the morning' fiasco which is good. i dont have an explanation as to why#i just am not mad about it anymore idk lol. well besides that my brain is feeling illogical things that i can recognize are illogical#but they still impact me :< its not fair at all... i could hypothetically construct reasoning why hes mad at me rn but im only hurting#myself this way. me moment. it was relatively innocent its not something to be MAD about he said hed love me for all my mistakes#so even if it was a problem he wouldnt stop loving me!!! do you understand brain? goodness...#HES LIKE. he is my beloved forever and i want to be holding him or touching him always. going to punch a wall idk#i just love him so much i dont want to mess up ever!!!!! god damn!! we are both depressed / have mental problems so we are doing our best#metaphorically smoking a joint with him rn i miss him. drugs are bad btw i would never do a weed. only in the metaphorical sense#i want us both to be less miserable so together we can be happy!! but why am i keeping him from doing things he likes...#but i want him to be happy?! but i want to spend time with him :( im gonna cry. WHAT AM I MAKING MYSELF UPSET FOR#he didnt even say he was mad at me i am just spinning this way out of proportion! ok!? he loves me forever#but yea i feel like my social filter for violence related things dissipated entirely. so i have been openly talking abt killing people#which is not good i am not going to do any of these things. my brain is too fond of them
2 notes · View notes
ladyseidr · 2 years
Text
I am still around lurking, but I know my activity has been sporadic on all three blogs (plus, yes, i went radio silent on IMs and dis.cord again sigh). Honestly, I’m currently learning to accept that, while I’ll eventually be okay, I’m not okay now and probably won’t be for awhile. So, yeah, I still intend to write and I’ll respond to messages when I feel able, but I won’t be making any promises about when/how often/etc etc etc.
4 notes · View notes
Text
I wish I could say something good happened to make me so chatty and hyperactive, but this is actually just option 2 of me being sleep deprived
0 notes
exopelagic · 2 months
Text
actually tiny thing this time that I would just like to complain about so I can go to bed :/
#I’ve lost a t shirt :/#I’m at home rn and going back to uni tomorrow morning and bc I knew it’d be hard to keep track of clothes (I left some behind last time)#I made a list of everything I brought. and I have it! except for this one specific t shirt#it’s not special!! it just fits nice and I would like it back especially for summer#but it has gone missing and it’s not in any of the places I’ve looked#and for. ~3 hours? mild anxiety abt that bc I get rlly weird abt losing things#there’s a reason I made a list and why I don’t let my siblings borrow my shit long term#anyway it not being anywhere means it’s with one of my siblings clothes except they’re both stubborn fucking bastards and either#1. insane levels of teenage boy thinking he’s better than everyone 2. deciding she fucking hates me and has been treating me like dirt#at best. like just pointedly not looking at me and sneering when she does and that’s when she’s being NICE#anyway point is neither of them! obviously! are going to check even though that is literally the one place left where it could be#and fucking fine! whatever!! it’s a t shirt!! but why the fuck can you not do something so incredibly small#and it does not help that my mum (who has been doing the laundry the past few days) got rlly defensive and snappy abt it#it calmed down and she helped me look but just. ughshdsgjdhdh#I hate losing things so much I can’t deal with it but. whatever I can buy more t shirts I needed to anyway this just WAS one of the new ones#idk where to leave this I’m just >:/#really frustrating situation and I can acknowledge that and let it sit until it passes#or smth. trying to figure out how to not be telling myself it’s fine all the time#anyway. sleep now#luke.txt
1 note · View note
nexus-nebulae · 3 months
Text
damn i actually had a pretty good streak there of not having bad insomnia days. that's pretty impressive for me like i haven't really had one since early January
#usually i get them like. maybe once a week#i think it's partially my new meds?#got some meds for anxiety and oh my GOD i finally have something that WORKS instead of fucking lexapro AGAIN#literally all my doctors would go LEXAPRO!! even though it's never fuckin worked for me#BUT I'm on remeron now and it's WORKING#and i made sure to make my Scheduled Pill Time as something i could almost never miss (my mom getting home from work)#bc it's around the same time every day within a half hour range and since i have an outside reminder it helps me actually form a habit#i cannot form habits without outside help it's just. nearly impossible for me#and the meds do make me kind of tired but not enough that I'm fucking constantly sleeping like when i was on seroquel#i can actually fucking THINK through this tired it doesn't just completely take me out 100% of the time#I'm just Slightly Sleepy instead of a zombie#and it helps remind me that I'm tired bc usually i don't notice any physical feelings#(is there a word for that??????? i tried googling but it constantly gave me alexythemia which is not feeling EMOTION)#(when this is like. i can't feel tired or hungry or pain sometimes. or at least i lose the ability to be aware that I'm feeling it)#but anyway the new meds make me just tired enough to remember i need sleep#and i mean. i am sleeping slightly early but 8:30 isn't that bad i don't think#at least i have time to. you know. do stuff between the hours of 5-8 (the only hours my mom is home + stores is open)#and tbh staying up alone all night isn't. the best. for my mental health#i don't handle being alone well. and Pulse is being a dick about system barriers :P (/lh we know why it's needed rn)#we have. a deep deep fear of isolation. like not just being alone but Not Being Able To Call For Help At All#at least with phone/computer we have One outlet for help with emergency services so that helps slightly#we worry a lot about. what would happen. if we had a medical emergency. and nobody knew bc i couldn't contact anyone#mostly. the fear of Something Bad happening and not being found until hours or days later#i like being awake during the day tho bc theres Way More Options for help#and like the fear of Not Being Found doesn't go away like. ever#but at least when people are awake and around its lessened a lot#the fear increases exponentially with each possible second added to the wait time#so knowing that it's just One hour until mom is home and can check on me is a lot better than Nobody's Awake For 5 More Hours#(and my mom is deaf too so i can't just like. scream for help to wake her up)#(not that i can physically scream at all anyway my voice just cannot handle that anymore)
0 notes
astrxealis · 8 months
Text
life is not being silly to me rn
0 notes
lovetren · 1 year
Text
i love november but november this year did not love me </3
0 notes
Text
Over here, laying in bed, wondering why the thought of driving is making me hyperventilate. Realized I haven't taken my anxiety meds today. Whoops.
#the wack thing is. i just recently started taking my anxiety meds (again)#they were prescribed months ago but they made my blood pressure too low (fun side effect) and didnt help my anxiety much#but a few months later my anxiety was getting almost out of control so i decided to try again#and its been magnificent. now im just hyper aware of having to keep my blood pressure up#but its been so nice. i havent been nearly as anxious and its made life so much easier#i used to have terrible anxiety about driving. for forever but especially since i was in an accident#and these meds reallllly helped. i havent had that anxiety since i started taking my meds again#whovh is why i was so confused when i wanted to go grocery shopping and started panicking at the thought of driving#its not a good time#i want to make chicken quesadillas but i need to go to the store. but the thought of driving rn is terrifying#but i need to drive to get to the store. and i need to get to the store. because i want quesadillas#okay unrelated but i just remembered: my best friend is dating another friend of mine and its very new#so im getting a constant flow of tea and screenshots and i love it. today my best friend (bf) sent me a screenshot from a convo last night#in which they were talking about cheese. and the friend (not bf. jesus i hate that they have the same name)#(oh did i forget to mention they have the same name? yeah. anyway my best friend is bf and the other is just friend i guess)#anyway they were talking about cheese and friend says they dont like it. mostly the smell. and compared eating cheese to eating ketchup#they called cheese a condiment. i know they meant it in a 'i wont eat cheese on its own' kind of. but they said the words 'its a condiment'#thats what i was focusing on when my bf texted me the screenshot. apparently he didnt care and instead wanted me to see that#friend had texted 'goodnight love' whoch my bf was freaking out about because 'love' is a gateway to 'i love you''#i wasnt paying attention to that because i call everyone 'love' and tbh friend probably picked up that habit from me#i call friend (and everyone) hon or dear or love all the time. i mean it platonically. bf uses it romantically#but again. im pretty sure friend and i use it in the same way. so it was funny to see bf freak out about this#saying 'its a gateway to i love you and im not ready for that!' when in my mind calling someone love is like calling them dude#not to downplay my lovely bf's pain but like. theyre both cute. very cute together. i love this relationship. i love being in the middle#im close with both of them so i get questions and cute rants and shit from both. theyre on a date rn!#so im gonna hear all about it tonight. but i had to start my day by reading 'cheese is a condiment' which was less than ideal tbh#okay. gonna go try to drive to the store. i really want quesadillas. ill bribe myself with ice cream#i got this
0 notes
neil-gaiman · 2 months
Note
hi dad,
ok i know ur not -really- my dad lmao just let me cope. i lost mine, so you're stuck with that title now. anyway. i just felt like telling you how great things seem to be going for me rn (fuck i hope i don't curse it). i've been a fan for a long ass time, but i got into the GO fandom only last year, and in just a few months i feel like i've gotten so much better, both mental health wise and creatively. i'm a neat little bundle of depression, anxiety, autiADHD, BPD, and cPTSD. isn't that lovely haha. but hey, i'm also a writer. a poet. an artist. and a helluva burned out musician. BUT. ever since i've been hanging out here, i've been writing SO much more, i've been doing fanfics, and so many cool poems, and improving my writing skills so much. i started drawing again after like 2 years of not touching a goddamn pencil, and i just bought some paint and a canvas bc i wanna get back into painting again like i used to when i was younger. and also through reading other GO fics, i've felt inspired to play piano again, which was a great deal to me a few years back. and it's awesome to feel that spark again.
Good Omens has meant a lot to me since i first read it around 2015. but now more than ever because there's a whole community i can share stuff about it with and it feels great. i recently lost a close group of friends, one of my best friends to suicide, and well. my irl dad. and i've been feeling hella lonely for a long time. but i feel like i've been gaining that sense of community again through good omens. and i can't tell you enough how much it means to me. so, idk. i guess i wanted to say thanks for that. and also for being so supportive of trans/queer people. it means the world to me. so. thanks dad. ily
I'm just glad I'm helping.
839 notes · View notes
heartsforhavik · 4 months
Text
yandere! re2 leon kennedy x reader
✰ warnings: stalking, sub leon, slightly nsfw but not smut, leon is a creepy masochist, kidnapping, no use of y/n or name, gender neutral reader, not proofread bc it's 2 am for me rn
✰ summary: you were never very close to leon, but you harbored some feelings for him. but your entire view on him changes when you get invited to his place and you find out how he truly feels about you...
✰ a/n: remember when i used to be a havik account? good times. also i still *only* take reqs for mk1 characters. ik i wrote genshin and now i'm writing resident evil, but i am not entirely comfortable with taking reqs for them yet soooo here's me just dipping my toes into the waters of those fandoms. still sticking to mk1 tho. for now. also it's been a hot minute since i played re2 so if it's ooc i apologize.
Tumblr media
leon thought you looked so pretty in your sleep. you looked completely peaceful and unbothered. your bedsheets covered your entire body except for your ethereal face, which he could stare at all day. the moon provided a dim glow through your window, giving leon a clear view of your entire bedroom while you slept. sure it may be creepy or a bit stalker-ish of leon to watch you sleep, but he couldn't help it! you were just so irresistible. if only you knew how much he loved you, and how he was capable of protecting and providing for you. he has the potential to be the best boyfriend to you. but you didn't even know him that well, and he was fully aware of that fact. so that's why he suddenly got an idea while he watched you sleep that night. it was a brilliant idea. he could invite you to his place and gain your trust! leon didn't want to waste any time, so he would immediately ask you first thing in the morning.
when you woke up that morning, you got a call from leon a few minutes after you got out of bed.
"i know it's a bit early in the morning, i hope you weren't sleeping... if so, i'm really sorry. i mean, i didn't know when to call you because i didn't want to bother you but at the same time i just really wanted to ask you something." leon rambled.
"no worries, leon. you could never bother me. besides, i just got out of bed. this was so perfectly timed, it's almost as if you memorized my sleep schedule." you joked.
"oh, yeah, that's crazy. imagine that," leon chuckled nervously. "um, anyway, i was just thinking... would you like to come over to my place later? i just thought that we know each other a little bit, but i'd like to get to know you more, since i think you're pretty cool and stuff, so, uh, yeah..." he trailed off, waiting for an answer.
upon hearing his proposal, you lit up in excitement. you always thought he was cute and wanted to get to know him, but you were too nervous to make the first move. this was a great opportunity.
leon was nervously fiddling with his fingers as he waited for your response. the longer you took to respond, the more his anxiety grew. he could feel the sweat forming on his skin and his chest tighten. what if you weren't interested in him in that way? was he being too forward? were you too busy?
you took a deep breath before you finally responded, mustering up the courage to say something. "i'll visit in a couple hours. i'll see you then, leon." you responded quickly, hanging up the phone and getting ready to see him.
leon's heart almost jumped out of his chest when you finally responded. he dropped his phone and immediately got to work, cleaning his place and hiding the pictures of you sleeping and your old clothes in a box under his couch.
he worked very hard to tidy everything up, wanting it to be perfect for you. only the best for you.
when he finished cleaning, he sat on the floor in front of his door like a puppy waiting for its owner. he patiently waited for you to knock on the door and come in, even though it would be a couple more hours until you arrived.
after a few hours of leon not moving a single inch, you finally arrived. as soon as your knuckles grazed the door to knock, leon swung it open with superhuman speed.
"thanks for coming! i hope the weather wasn't too harsh on you." leon greeted, stepping aside to let you in. he didn't actually know if the weather was harsh or not, he just said the first thing that came to his mind to start a conversation with you.
"thanks... and uh, the weather isn't bad at all. it's just a bit windy." you responded, awkwardly standing by the door.
leon was trying his hardest to act calm, but his heart was racing and he could feel his palms getting sweatier and sweatier. you were standing right next to him! and you were alone together! he could've just died right then and there. instead of watching you through your window, you're right in front of him! instead of breaking into your house and stealing and sniffing your clothes, he can just smell you right by him! he was in heaven.
for a couple hours, you both spent time together by watching movies and chatting, getting to know each other more and more. leon even ordered dinner for you both, and somehow he got your favorite food, and he claimed it was just intuition. it didn't even feel like hours had passed, since you were both enjoying yourselves.
"so, uh, do you like this movie?" leon awkwardly spoke up, as you both sat on the couch in front of his tv. you simply smiled and nodded, too tired to respond. it was a random film that you weren't familiar with, and you watched it in silence next to him. you were both clearly tired after that long day, but leon didn't want you to leave just yet. so he started awkwardly starting new conversations or asking you questions, hoping to keep your attention on him. he loved the amount of attention you already gave him that day, and he was still giddy that you agreed to visit him in the first place. all he needs to stay happy is for you to look at him. but you were literally sitting on his couch and spending time with him, and it just made him so overwhelmed with joy. it gave him hope that you could work as a couple someday, and you would never know about his unorthodox antics to get to this point.
or at least that's what he thought.
at some point, leon excused himself to the restroom and left you boredly swinging your legs back and forth on the couch. but you felt your leg kick something hard underneath the couch. when you decided to investigate, you found a hidden box. curious as to why it was hidden, you decided to open it and look inside.
big mistake.
you found some old clothes and underwear that you thought you lost, pieces of your hair, various pictures of you sleeping, a few grocery lists and paperwork that you thought you threw away, and even pages ripped out of leon's journal describing his dark fantasies of you. some of it had some mysterious white stains on it. it was disgusting, and it made you sick to look through it. you thought leon was just a cute sweetheart, but it turned out he was a stalker and a creep. you were so shocked, that you didn't know what to do. should you run? call someone? but it was unsafe, because he clearly knew your address and a lot of your personal information. you had no idea what to do, so you stayed frozen in shock.
when leon returned, he saw the horrified look on your face and saw the box in your hands. his heart dropped. you knew his secret.
"shit. oh my god, uh, it's not what you think. i swear, i just, uh, fuck..." leon stammered, dropping down to his knees in shame.
"what the fuck is this? how long have you been stalking me, you fucking creep?" you yelled, standing over his shaking form.
"haah.. i... uh.." leon seemed to be breathing weirdly, and you weren't sure if it was out of anxiety or pleasure.
"and this," you picked up one of the pages from his journal and waved it in front of his face. "what the fuck is this? you are so fucked up... are you in love with me or something? or is it just some weird ass sexual obsession?"
"i.. i do love you! of course i do! this isn't how i wanted you to find out, but i really do love you! please don't take it the wrong way. i don't want to hurt you, i just want to be with you. i want to feel you and- and spend every waking moment of my life with you.. please don't hate me." leon begged, grasping onto your leg pathetically.
"you're sick in the head. and you're nothing but a pathetic stalker." you scoffed. all the trust and affection you had for him went out the window after you opened that box. there was no way he can get your trust back. hell, you were willing to cut contact with him and move to another country at that point.
"fuck... okay, maybe i am.. but, uh... shit." leon struggled to get his words out, as he felt aroused by your degradation. he never thought it would feel so good to have you yell at him. he could barely even speak, it just felt euphoric for you to scold him for his actions. you expected him to panic, but he seemed to have mixed feelings about the situation. he was still horrified that you discovered his dirty secret, but he had stars in his eyes the more you screamed at him.
"oh my god... you're a masochistic freak, huh? you like it when i yell at you? god, you're so fucked up." you spat, grabbing his collar and lifting him up to your level.
leon whimpered at the sudden contact, not responding to your degredation and simply squirming at your touch.
you sighed. "are you going to explain yourself? or are you just going to keep babbling nonsense?"
after getting no response, you dropped him and started to grab your things and leave.
"i.. i love you so much!" leon blurted out. "please don't leave! i promise, i can make it up to you! i'll do whatever you want! i can uh... i can provide for you! you won't have to lift a single finger for the rest of your life! and uh... i can cook and clean! sort of. i'll learn how to take care of you. i'll show you that i can be a good boyfriend if you let me! please, just love me! i did all these things for you and i promise i will stop if you want me to! please, don't leave."
leon stood in front of the door and desperately held you in place, not wanting to let you leave.
if you chose to stay, leon would be overjoyed. he would keep his promise and make it up to you, spending the rest of his life protecting you from harm and doing anything to keep you happy. your well-being is his number one priority, he'd make himself look like a fool if it meant getting a smile out of you. just let him love you. you don't need to give him anything in return!
if you chose to leave, leon would be a sobbing, sulking mess for about an hour or two before he decided on what to do. he still had all of your information. he knew pretty much everything about you. he would probably do something to force you into being with him, such as faking your death and kidnapping you. you have nobody else now. you have to be with leon now. he is the only one that still loves you and will keep you happy. even if you're mad at him now, he has hope that someday you will warm up to him and be willing to have a relationship with him. he'll wait patiently for that day to come.
853 notes · View notes
opennwindows · 8 months
Note
If you can, could I request BEN Drowned fluff / smut headcanons like about himself, with his headcanon age, hobbies, facts, what he is into or would like & want in a relationship, and what he would be like with a gamer girlfriend/ s/o?
If ya taking requests rn still?✨😇😊💖
Ben Drowned general + NSFW hcs
A/N: yes!! absolutely. i love getting to talk about how the pastas do their pastaing in my mind. i have so many headcanons for everyone that im excited to share!! also sorry i forgot to include the gamer gf part but i don't think it would change a lot of what i wrote!!
btw sorry for fucking dying i have been busy 😭😭 but no one worry i will still continue to work on requests!! if anyone has any marble hornets stuff they wanna request i will zoom you to the front of the queue so fucking quick. anyways enough of me yapping.
cw: 18+ nsfw, toxic relationships, crying kink,
Tumblr media Tumblr media
GENERAL
ben is mentally and physically 22, but he can be quite emotionally immature at times. when he died he never stopped growing and maturing, his soul was just stuck in limbo. think like the worst waiting room ever.
he's surprisingly tall, standing at about 5'9. he's lanky but not bone thin. could easily get pretty far in a fight without his ghost powers.
the link costume only appears when he’s in his ghost form. so for example, when he’s messing with someone on their computer he’ll appear as the canon BEN we’re most familiar with. when he’s just chilling in his physical body, he mostly wears beat up hoodies and sweatpants.
contrary to popular belief, ben's not the hardcore gamer everyone thinks he is. sure, he'll play some overwatch or whatever when he's bored but he honestly just prefers to watch tv and browse the internet. understandably REFUSES to play any zelda games. if you were trapped in a video game for decades would you ever wanna touch it again? exactly.
ben loves to draw little comics and troll (see: horrifically traumatize) people online. god forbid you get into twitter beef with this man because he will crawl through your monitor at 3am and leave you with a crippling fear of technology. dude thinks it's absolutely hilarious. a true knee slapper.
lowkey has a sugar addiction. will slam down 4 cans of pepsi in one sitting. he's very lucky that he's basically a ghost because the kidney stones would be plentiful.
ROMANTIC
you know that guy with the blown out speakers in his car, lives off of energy drinks and burnt blue razz ice elfbars, swears aphex twin is the modern mozart and works on the grill at your local wendy’s? yeah thats ben. or at least would be him if he was still human.
“why would you need a chair, my lap is literally right here babe.”
would absolutely wear your skin if given the opportunity. not in a weird way. he’s just EXTREMELY touchy.
he needs someone who is significantly more organized and motivated than him. he can go almost a week without showering and it should honestly be considered biological warfare when he tries to smother you with affection during these episodes.
after awhile of you guys dating he LOVES the idea of y’all showering together. he has a fear of water and while showers aren’t too much of a trigger, your presence helps ease his anxiety.
favorite pet names: bro, dude, dawg, babe, bitch (non derogatory)
not really a romantic but he tries his best. a perfect date for him is just getting some takeout, watching youtube, talking about stupid shit and play fighting. if you want something more traditional or extravagant then he’ll oblige to make you happy but those types of dates make him feel quite suffocated and nervous. try to save those for special occasions.
now let’s talk about his problems because just like the other creeps he is ANGSTY.
he’s probably the most emotionally stable and healthiest of the group but he definitely still has his toxic traits, after all this man is a ghost that mentally tortures and kills his victims through manipulation.
ben would never ever get physical with his partner no matter how enraged he is but he absolutely is the type to do some mental damage when he gets carried away. ben drowned? more like ben gaslighted.
the type to say some shit that would keep you up for years and then kiss you the next morning like the argument never happened. he finds it easier to ignore problems than to actively talk and fix them. you’re gonna have to teach him some important communication skills or else you’ll grow to resent him after all the bottled up rage.
a bit too brutally honest and blunt for his own good so if you have thin skin the relationship would fall apart pretty quickly. he wants someone who can drag him twice as hard as he dragged you. bonus points if your insults are consistently funny as hell.
please watch anime with him and discuss it. he would propose on the spot, especially if you play with his hair.
pro player tip: if you want him to clean his disgusting room, help him and make it fun! he just needs a little push and motivation at times. and being around you makes him want to get his shit together.
big fan of late night make-out sessions. i’m talking like 45 minutes straight of just slobbering on each other’s faces with tongues down throats. if you don’t want his hands running over every inch of your body then you’ll probably have to chain him to the wall.
NSFW
okay. so he’s a little inexperienced with his hands. he’s just a slow learner. be vocal with him about what you like!!
ben's about 7inches and slightly skinnier than average but he will have you seeing stars in record time. the dick game is no joke. he tends to go fast and deep most times.
i can see him being a switch in the idgaf-as-long-as-i’m-fucking way. dude will go with the flow and will try mostly anything.
definitely one of the least aggressive pastas during sex. he has sadistic tendencies but he’s more of a edge/overstimulate you until you cry versus a beat the shit out of you and rip hair out of your scalp type. he’s pretty vanilla given his occupation.
despite his love of roasting the fuck out of you on a daily basis, the only words that come out of this man’s mouth is heavenly praise. he looks at you like you’re the most gorgeous being on the planet and he’ll let you know it.
he loves to whisper praises into your ear while you ride him.
he's more of a receiver than a giver when it comes to oral. he'll absolutely spend hours between your legs if given the chance but nothing beats the sight of you on your knees and teary eyed with his length in your mouth.
he can be a bit of a head pusher but just let him face-fuck you every now and then, hearing his loud moans will be worth it.
did i mention how much of a crying kink this man has? you guys could be on round three and if he stares at your teary eyed fucked-out face for longer than 10 seconds he'll immediately get hard again. you'll have to beg him to give your poor body a break.
he's also into choking but only if he's the one doing it. if you try to restrict his breathing he'll panic and the mood would get ruined.
824 notes · View notes
babydollmarauders · 8 months
Text
QUINNY’S B-DAY — JACK HUGHES
part of the el!hughes au
quinn hughes x platonic!reader
notes: a short birthday post for our now 24 year old captain 🫶🏻
y/n.hughes
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by _quinnhughes, jackhughes, and 119,361 others
y/n.hughes Q, you taught me what familial love really is. you took a quiet, introverted, anxiety ridden, 13 year old girl under your wing, and i’m so grateful for that. you constantly reminded me that my home life did not make me who i was, but that it could help shape me into who i wanted to become. it’s because of you that i met my soulmate and have the amazing family and support system that i have now. where everyone else saw an outcasted 8th grader who snuck in to watch hockey practices, you saw someone who needed your love and guidance, and you had never been more right. you showed me that my house was not a home, but yours was. you showed me that i could live a life that made me feel good. and most importantly, you showed me what it was like to feel loved and wanted in someone’s life.
i’m so thankful that i get to call you my brother. i’m thankful that when i call, you answer; when i cry, you do anything to make me smile; and when i’m living, you’re cheering me on.
i love you from the north pole to the south, a million times over 🤍 thank you for providing me with the chance to be happy “because i deserve it”
happy 24th, snuggles!
tagged _quinnhughes
Load more comments
_quinnhughes was i expecting to cry a bit today? no. thank you, lovie. i love you from the north pole to the south, a billion times over 💙
y/n.hughes oh- a billion is a lot more than a million
_quinnhughes yes it is, it’s also how much i love you
y/n.hughes oh okay
jackhughes you broke my wife, jackass
_quinnhughes @/jackhughes aren’t you supposed to be nice to me on my birthday?
jackhughes i was gonna, and then you made my lovie cry again
_quinnhughes @/jackhughes again?
jackhughes she already cried going through her camera roll to find these pictures and writing the post
_quinnhughes @/y/n.hughes call me 💙
lhughes_06 @_quinnhughes happy birthday, Quinner! best oldest bro there ever was 💪
_quinnhughes thanks, moose!
_alexturcotte @_quinnhughes happy birthday, Quinn! 🫡 go beat the Oilers!
_quinnhughes thank you, Alex! i’ll sure try!
colecaufield @_quinnhughes haps birth, cap bro!
_quinnhughes you didn’t finish a single word in that sentence… thanks, Cole?
colecaufield you’re so welcome!
jackhughes @_quinnhughes i guess happy birthday big bro, hope you have a good day and a good game!
_quinnhughes lovie made you say this, didn’t she?
jackhughes you know it
_quinnhughes i’ll accept it anyways, thanks Jacky
jackhughes El also says happy birthday
_quinnhughes she can’t even say happy birthday, dude
jackhughes but she CAN say “appy day-day, winny!”, i was paraphrasing
_quinnhughes big word for ya, bud
jackhughes just for that, you don’t get to see my daughter or my wife
_quinnhughes too late, lovie is facetiming me rn. talk to ya in two secs
jackhughes damnit, lovie!
y/n.hughes i love and miss him 🥺
jackhughes damn, i can’t stay mad at you
429 notes · View notes
tlouadditc · 10 months
Text
screw the cops!!
Tumblr media
cop!ellabs x dealer!reader
warnings: 18+, MDNI, smut with plot, mentions of drugs [marijuana], cop!ellabs, dealer!reader, a lil bit of knifeplay, dom!ellabs, sub!reader, use of y/n, reader gets cut a lil bit oops!, probably more but i cant think of it rn
last minute a/n: this was another ask i forgot to put under the question ☹️ anyway thank u for the ask!!
[10:06 pm]
MY FAV ;): heyyy u got an 8th?? i can pick up at the library in 15 :)
you read the text, grumbling as you get up from your couch. you quickly shoot back:
YOU: lmk when ur there
it was supposed to be an off-day; sit in your dorm, watch tv, maybe have someone over, but no. everyone needed your shit at all times. she's lucky she's your favorite -- otherwise you would've told her to fuck off.
locking your door behind you, you get in your car and pull out of your driveway. as you glide through the gentle darkness, you feel random anxiety, like something bad is happening. it could be the lack of sleep. it could be the upcoming deadline you haven't started. it could also be the fact the entire campus is being searched because some dumbass freshman left his- no, sorry, YOUR- weed in his dorm and got the cops called. he didn't snitch luckily; he knows you would've gotten him killed if he did. but now there's a patrol going on until they find who's distributing. it's not like you wanted to live this life- you barely graduated high school, getting a small scholarship to a local college. the debt hit you, parents refused to help you anymore because you're an adult, blah blah blah blah. you ended up here to finally make a stable income and not have to chose between being warm or being fed consistently.
the sob story makes you cringe, snapping back into reality as you park in a spot by the front of the campus library. you pull out your phone and send:
YOU: here. wya
3 bubbles quickly pop up, written with a response:
MY FAV ;): kk coming out now
as you read the text, you hear the front doors swing open and a tall, slim figure gets larger as it comes closer. as she steps into the streetlight, you see her; sophomore dina. her long, onyx hair dances down her back as she comes closer to your car. she rests one arm on your window, other arm reaching into her pocket. she pulls out 35 bucks, tilting her head to the side slightly and smirking. you hand her a small baggie and take the bills out of her hand, shoving it into your pocket. "you're the best," she gushed, taking her arm off your window. she starts to turn to walk back to the library when she says, "oh, by the way, gave my friend your number."
you freeze, looking up at her in pure horror. "you what?"
"okay, chill, she's cool," she quickly explains, putting a hand on her hip in annoyance.
you roll your eyes, "the entire campus is getting fucking raided, for god's sake. cmon, dina."
"so, what? not everyone's a dumbass like that kid was."
you sigh. you guess she's right. plus, more business for you in the long run. she gives some information about this girl; her names ellie. she's a sophomore majoring in astrophysics who transferred from another school in jackson. around 5'5, auburn hair, science nerd. "pretty sure she's gay, too," dina winks.
you roll your eyes once more before pulling out and returning home. as soon as you unlock the door and step in, you check your other phone, an unknown number's texts sitting on the lock screen.
[UNKNOWN NUMBER]: hii this is y/n right?
[UNKNOWN NUMBER]: dina gave me ur number
gotta be ellie, you think to yourself. kinda cute. you don't respond; you hate small talk. no point in trying to get to know each other if you already know what they want. you put your phone down and start to get ready for bed.
an hour later, you get out of your shower and into comfy clothes. as you get into your freshly made bed, your other phone buzzes. you would usually ignore it, but you remember; debate checking the message or leaving it alone until tomorrow. eventually, curiosity gets the best of you and you check your phone. you groan as you read the message:
[11:37pm]
EL: i know its late but can u drop off? i need it :(
goddamnit, leave me alone!
you type up some message along the lines of 'im off today, ask tomorrow bitch,' but decide to be nice. you don't know why, but you only respond with the following:
YOU: off today. ask tmr
3 dots in a bubble move swiftly as a response pops up on your screen:
EL: pleaaaaase itll be quick
you sigh. she's not gonna let up; just like dina.
YOU: fine. ill b at the library.
she hearts your message as you throw on some sweatpants and grab your keys. you go on the same drive but you feel no anxiety this time. it's a newbie, for god's sake- she's the one who's probably nervous. you even put on some music this time, drake lowly lulling in your vehicle. you pull up, same spot as earlier, and you turn down your music. you go to text her, but the doors open before you can press a letter. she's just as dina described- until she gets up to your window. her scattered freckles complimented her bright, emerald eyes. her friendly expression made you soft under her gaze. you didn't realized she was talking for a while until she whispered, "uh... hello?"
"what?" you said, clearly perplexed. she smiled as you remembered what you're there for. she hands you 25 bucks as you place the baggie in her free hand. she lets out a silent "thanks" before you get ready to drive back home.
"uh, actually," she suddenly blurted out, catching your attention. she seemed nervous, like she had something to say, but she was scared of the outcome. "do you mind.. uh.. giving me a ride back home? i mean i walked down here and it's dark so-"
"hop in," you interrupted. it was pretty dark and you wouldn't want patrol on her ass about being out by herself, so you decided to get it over with. she pranced around to the passengers side and practically jumped in.
the ride to her dorm was quiet. ellie was on her phone the entire time; you assumed it was her roommate asking her where she's at. there was a bit of tension you could feel in the air; what type? you couldn't answer that.
coming to a stop at the entrance of her dormitory, she thanked you once again before you prepared to go home yourself.
"you could stay the night," she mumbled, fumbling with the bag in hand.
"what? no- no, i can't do that," you answered. you weren't against staying over, but... going home with someone you literally met an hour ago? absolutely not.
"jus' c'mon. it's late," she insisted, biting her lip anxiously. "plus, i owe you." you sight and give in, turning off the engine and ignition before grabbing your keys and phone and joining her on the walkway. she smiled politely and led you to her dorm.
the entire time you were walking with her, you assessed her appearance in clearer light. her hair was a shaggy cut, parted to the side and tucked behind her ears even though some stray strands still stood. her eyes were welcoming and friendly, giving you a warm feeling of hope. she had a tattoo on her right arm; a fern and a small butterfly. you debate asking her the meaning, but decide against it.
you snap out of your trance when you make it to her door. she unlocks the door and gently pushes it in, leaving room for you to step inside. "come in!"
you take 3 steps inside before you're pushed to the ground and pinned by strong, rough hands. "what the fuc- hey!" you start to shout. you squirm, hopelessly attempting to be freed from the tight grasp of what you thought was a male officer.
"you're under arrest," an unfamiliar, feminine voice states, "for possession and distribution of marijuana. you have the right to remain silent at this time." you see ellie's shoes standing in front of you, silently taunting you as you're handcuffed.
fuck, i should've never trusted her.
Tumblr media
you're patted down and escorted to an unmarked car, parked around 30 feet away from your car. the unfamiliar figure is a tall, built woman with a long, blonde braid swinging down her back. her calloused hand grips you tightly as you're being walked. once you reach the vehicle, you're thrown into the back and the door slams in your face. you don't argue or protest; you were caught after one fuck up.
"didn't expect to catch her so easily," ellie brags, slightly looking back at you. you scowl at her, feeling betrayed by not only ellie, but dina, too. she had [hopefully] unknowingly helped them ruin your life. you were for sure not going to be able to finish college now. you wouldn't be able to get a job nice enough to stabilize your life. not to mention the possibility for 5 years of jail time and fees. it all made your head hurt. tears weld up in your eyes as you started to really let reality sink in.
"aw, she's crying," the blonde officer teased, looking at you through the rear-view mirror. you blinked back the tears before spitting out, "fuck you."
"the fuck you just say to me?"
"you heard me; fuck. you."
you could see her jaw clench, her bone well-defined under her skin. "oh, i know you wanna fuck me." a snicker was heard from the auburn girl.
the hell??
it was a weird response, but you decided to play into it. you're already being sent to jail; why not have fun?
"you wouldn't do anything about it if i wanted to anyway."
you saw the blonde's eyes go wide and her jaw drop with disbelief, looking over at her partner. ellie seemed calm, but intrigued by the situation. it was silent, but the way their eyes met was like they were talking through eye contact. ellie tilts her head towards you, signaling something to the other officer. as if she could read her mind, the blonde nods and pulls over to an abandoned alleyway.
"what's going on?" you question, attempting to hide the fear in your voice, but failing miserably. the blonde got out of the car and slammed the door shut as ellie simply answered, "you said we wouldn't do anything, hm?"
a shiver went down your spine as the door to your right opened, the blonde hopping in as you scooted all the way to your left.
"uh-uh, come here," she demanded as her hand wrapped around your neck and dragged you back to her. at this moment, your back rests against her toned thighs, handcuffed hands under your ass, legs laying on the seat.
"you wanna be disrespectful to me and my partner?" she jerks your head up, making you look at her. her sharp features take up your vision as she looks down at you with dark eyes. "you think you were just gonna get away with that? nuh-uh, not on my watch." you take your gaze off her face to read her badge, which reads "ABBY ANDERSON".
you're so focused on abby that you don'r realize ellie is on the other side of you, watching you and abby interact. you feel a sharp object on your jeans, scoring against the material. your head jerks down to see ellie running a pocketknife over your clothed cunt, fear and adrenaline running through you all at once. your breathing picks up speed as she cuts through your jeans, making a hole in the crotch. abby chuckles at your reaction, caressing your face as she coos, "not so tough now, huh?"
you're too caught up in looking at ellie's actions to respond. she puts the knife down, letting a feeling of relief wash over you. she mutters a "fuck it" before placing both hands on either side of the hole she made and ripping your jeans. you gasp, anxiety filling you once more. she smirks up at you, grabbing her knife and running it over your barely covered pussy. she loves the way you try to get away from her knife, silent cries as she gets closer to the meat of your thigh. she slightly cuts into you, small drops of blood racing down your inner thigh. you wince in pain, turning back to abby. "shh, it's okay," she reassures, kissing your sweaty forehead. "just a little cut. you're okay." you feel ellie's warm tongue running over the wound, collecting the red liquid. she kisses near your core, green eyes piercing into you before whispering, "so sweet" and smiling. abby gently kisses you, drawing your attention away from your cut to her and only her. she taps her pointer finger on your chin and whispers "open up", which you obey to. her lips purse together, gathering the liquid in her mouth before a ball of saliva drops into your mouth and onto your tongue. "swallow," she commands, and you close your mouth and swallow it, feeling it slip down your throat. she smiles, tapping your cheek lightly as she praises you. "good girl. she's doing so well, isn't she, el?"
ellie hums, hyper-focused on your pooling pussy. "so wet," she says in awe, "all this gets you off, doesn't it?"
you're oh so needy, cunt begging to be touched in any form. you nod ferociously, whining for any friction on your puffy clit. "you want it, yea? beg for it."
"p-please, ill do anything, just fuck me- ohmygod-" you babble, hips bucking up into ellie's face. she chuckles before looking up to abby, meeting her gaze. "she's been so good for us. give her a lil' reward."
with that, ellie cuts your underwear with one swift movement, completely exposing your pussy to her. she gasps at the sight, glistening skin in the low light. she whispers a spew of curses, spreading you apart as abby kisses you passionately. you moan into the kiss as ellie rubs your bud with her thumb. your noises go straight to her core, making her slightly whimper. she lays a flat tongue on your core, soaking up all of your juices on the pink muscle. abby wraps a firm hand around your throat, restricting airflow enough to make you completely feel ellie on you.
"fuck- oh, my god-" you cry, tears welling up in your eyes once more. the feeling is too much; abby kissing you, ellie eating you out- everything is overstimulating you. ellie smiles against your pussy, sucking on your clit while shoving two fingers in you. you whine and squirm away from her, but her other hand keeps you in place.
"i'm gonna- m'cumming- !!" you breathe, clenching around ellie's long fingers. abby praises you through it; "oh, so good for us, baby." "cum all over her fingers f'me, yes." small kisses are planted on your face once again, soothing you through your orgasm. ellie slowly takes her fingers out with a pop! before shoving one glistening finger into her mouth. she moans at the taste of you, maintaining eye contact with you. "shit, so sweet," she murmurs, looking over at abby. "wanna taste?"
"of course," abby says slyly, glancing over at you before sucking on ellie's middle finger, completely cleaning it off. she moans at the taste, finally letting ellie's middle finger go after a couple of seconds. she pulls you into another sloppy, heated kiss, making you taste yourself on her tongue.
"such a sweet thing," she coos, wiping your face. "too bad we gotta take you in now."
"can't let me off with a warning?"
"we would, but we'd be here for much longer and you'd be more bruised up." abby frowns in a mocking manner.
"so you're taking me in with no pants or underwear?"
"yup. don't underestimate us and, more importantly, don't sell drugs."
a/n: this was so fun to write omg ... part 2 will be coming me thinks
839 notes · View notes